#or as constant as bsf)

[conjectureand-gloom]

slowly realising that i genuinely don’t have any super close friends any more

[rafesweetie]

need a jealous bsf!rafe x reader where he is possessive and doesn’t want other guys touching her even though he touches other girls, so she is basically over it and at a party, she dances on another guy and he gets mad

౨ৎ in which bsf!rafe just can’t help wanting to protect you.

you were done with rafe cameron. you’ve decided it. he was your best friend, sure, but he was controlling, mean, overly protective, and he acted like he owned you or something. so you were completely done with him, forever.

this is the third time you’ve promised yourself that, and news flash — you never dropped him.

it wasn’t your fault, you try to tell yourself every time. he just wouldn’t let you leave him, shutting you up whenever you’d even try and be reasonable with him, yelling louder than you or slamming his palm over your mouth. but a little part of you knows that you like the attention. you like that rafe cares so much about you, even if it does ruin your chances of getting a boyfriend. today is the day that you break the pattern though, and rebel against his constant authority.

parties are where rafe thrives. he’s like a celebrity, it always wonders you how much people love him. during parties, he keeps less of an eye on you, assuming you’re just busy gossiping with your friends. but little does he know, you’ve found a boy — it wasn’t often you’d get the opportunity to chat with a boy that wasn’t rafe, and you were loving every second of it. you felt so free from your friend’s gaze, listening to the boy talk, his deep voice vibrating your brain.

but the issue was, the boy was boring. he didn’t talk about cool things, like dirtbikes or his life or death adventures or money. you hated to say it, but he just wasn’t rafe. your mind kept flashing back to him, how much more you smile and enjoy his company. maybe rafe was right. you just didn’t need boys when you have him.

you’re so close to excusing yourself from the boy, going back to rafe’s arm and giggling with him and talking with your faces really close together. you glance back to where he is, ready to retreat, until you see it. you see her.

you’re not sure who she is, but she bothers you. her hair is so gorgeous and healthy, and you can’t see her face from behind but she must be gorgeous. her arm is on rafe’s bicep — your bicep, the one you always hang onto while you’re walking with rafe. you hate that you’re jealous. rafe’s your friend, not your boyfriend, you have no reason to be. but it’s like you can’t control it, your rage, and before you know it, you’re blinking back any potential tears and touching on this boy — this stranger — like there’s no tomorrow. tyla is blasting through the speakers, and yours and these boy’s hands are all over each other’s bodies. you really hope rafe sees you like this, drunk off the smirnoff pink lemonades and enjoying another mans company.

it really doesn’t take long for him to notice. he’s so predictable. shrugging the girls hand off of him, rushing over to his dear friend to get her away from this lowlife.

usually he’d reason with you. coax you away from the boy nicely and lecture you. but he’d had a few beers and a line of coke and he was in no mood for politeness. a rough hand pushes the boy away by the chest, and rafe isn’t muttering a word to anyone, grabbing your wrist and stomping away with you stumbling behind.

he pushes you into a spare bedroom, the first private place he could find. sitting you on the edge of the bed, he starts pacing in front of you and rubbing his face as if this was hurting his head. it’s like your brain flicks a switch, back to “rafe rafe rafe” as you’re sat there with tears brimming your eyes, fiddling with your manicure as you bat your eyelashes up at him, remembering the girl flirting with him, and now you making him mad, and now he’s got you in a puddle of guilt.

“shit— it’s like, you never do what i say, huh?” he mutters, still pacing. “you know i do everything to protect you, kid. you even know who that fuckin’ guy was? no, m’sure you don’t, cause you don’t think. thought by now my voice would be in your pretty head, there to help you make some smart decisions every once in a while. but nah, nah, you see one other boy and it’s back to square one with you,”

you go to speak, glossy lips parting, but he shuts you up with a quick “no”, and stopping pacing to go kneel in front of you.

“everything i do — for you, okay? for you. my girl,” he often calls you that, it makes you weak every time. he grabs your hands. “stop fiddling, paid for this polish.” you stop instantly. “i know— i know you think that my protectiveness is, uh, stupid, but i need to be like this, or you’re gonna get hurt. i know you, baby. i need to be all over you for you to even have a slight awareness to not do stupid things. so i do take some ownership over you in that sense—“

you cut him off, muttering a, “don’t want you to take ownership.”

he huffs. “yeah, but i do, so…” he shrugs. “you’re mine. my friend, my girl. so i don’t like it when someone else touches my girl, or when you’re the one intiating it. makes me so fuckin’ angry, kid, makes me wanna, like—“ he cuts himself off. “so i need you to knock it off.”

you wanna argue so badly, but your brain turns to mush around him. so you sniffle and nod hesitantly.

“no, i want a ‘yes rafe.’ need your words.”

“i just think that—“ you try.

he cuts you off. “yes rafe. say it with me.”

“..yes, rafe.” you both say.

he squeezes your hands and gets up. “yeah, there you go, good girl. now do you, uh, need a minute, fix your makeup, or d’you wanna go back down there and hang out with me?”

your hand goes to his bicep as you stand up with him, and a ghost of a smile appears on his lips. “wanna go with you,” you say softly, leaning into him a bit.

“yeah, that’s what i thought.”

[st7rnioioss]

WHEN BSF!CHRIS CAN'T KEEP HIS HANDS AND THOUGHTS OFF INEXPERIENCED!READER ₊˚⊹ ᰔ

˚𝜗𝜚 warnings... grinding, smut, p in v, unprotected sex (don't do this!!), kissing ˚࿔ notes: i'd like to say beforehand this is a little further into their relationship! I'll add more background stuff later<33

chris was restless. he continued to toss and turn in your bed, finally settling on his side, one arm slung around you waist while gently tugging you closer to him, pressing your back flush against his chest while you were sleeping peacefully.

he tried to doze off, he really did. but sleep seemed like the furthest thing away when he laid there, listening to your soft breathing, as the only currently audible noise, feeling the way your chest rose and fell under his touch.

his mind was running a million miles an hour, and he couldn’t get it to stop. it was dirty, wrong thoughts—about you. his best friend since.. well, for as long as he could remember. it had become something more usual, but this time he couldn’t control it.

you’d always been attached to the hip, but never once had he thought about you like this. never had he wondered what you’d look like naked, vulnerable under him.. okay, maybe a few times, but never to this extent. you'd only gone as far as him showing you how to finger yourself properly, where he took over the job because he couldn't resist.

how would you react to his touch? would you reach for his hair? his arms? would you grab the sheets instead? what did your moan sound like?

the real question was why on earth he was having these dirty thoughts about you. you were the sweetest girl he’d ever laid his eyes on, so sweet it gave him a toothache whenever you’d innocently bat your eyes at him, begging him to go get ice cream with you.

gosh, make it stop, he thought to himself, groaning when he snaked his other hand down to try and ease his rock-hard cock, which only seemed to make it worse, hardening even more under his own touch.

he didn’t know what to do, and only to worsen his panicked state, you started turning, his arm momentarily slipping from your waist when you faced him.

your eyes were thankfully still shut, lips in a soft pout from the pillow pushing them together. the sight didn’t help either. nothing helped him ease his raging hard boner. you laid there, so pure, unknowing of his sinful thoughts while your peaceful, gentle look only made the tight restrain in his boxers worse.

sleep was out of reach by now, his hand desperately trying to relieve his aching cock with a groan by carefully rubbing his palm over the bulge—but then your eyes fluttered open. he stared down at you with widen eyes, almost in disbelief that he’d been caught somewhat rubbing himself through his pants, but you didn’t seem to notice right away.

“are you okay?” your soft voice was heard. “you seem restless..” yeah, his constant tossing and groaning woke you up, but not enough to fully comprehend the situation chris was in.

“i- i can’t sleep. that’s all,” he whispered back, blinking rapidly while your eyes scanned his face, roaming every feature you were so familiar with.

speculating about his somewhat unsure answer, your eyes made their way down his chest when he let another whine slip, noticing the way his palm pressed against his groin, and you immediately felt ten times more awake than you were before. heat rushed to your face, before your eyes met chris's desperate gaze.

“oh..” you quipped, suddenly hyper aware of every movement of his, every desperate groan you’d heard behind you just moments prior now making much more sense.

“p-please, just- just let me.. let me put it in,” chris pleaded miserably, letting his free hands knuckles brush over your reddening cheek, his touch gentle as ever.

“chris- no, we can’t..” your answer only made his dick harden, though it seemed fucked up. you were so damn innocent, a prude even. you’d always avoided the topic of sex, not daring to go down that path ever. but he knew that when it came to him, you could bend the rules. “please- i’ll make it quick, i’ll just put the tip in. it hurts so fucking bad,”

but something about the situation caused you to turn curious. chris begging for your touch, begging to let him do something about his hard erection, to touch you.

“okay..” attentively, you turned around to lay in your previous position on your side, chris's hand slipping from the front of his shorts, letting out a deep sigh of relief.

“thank you, thanks- thank you,” he babbled, his clammy hands making their way to the elastic waistband of your sleep shorts, slowly pushing them down your thighs, until they pooled around your ankles, that you continued to gently kick off.

“i promise i’ll be careful, just the tip..” his breath fanned across your neck, making a soft gasp slip from your lips.

your eyes were wide open and lips parted when he hooked his hand under your thigh, gently lifting it to spread them apart, carefully placing your leg back down as if you were made of fragile porcelain.

“o-okay..” you spoke quietly, your breath hitching when his finger made contact with your panties, gently tugging them to the side. “already so wet f’me..” his voice was husky against your ear, lips grazing the sensitive skin as his thumb slowly ran between your slick folds, a weak moan falling from your parted lips.

you were driving him insane, already dripping for him, and it only took a couple right touches and words. oh, how bad he wanted to keep showing you how to feel good, let alone be the first one to. he'd already gotten his fair share on that part.

you’ve never been more nervous, but yet you felt safe with chris pressed so close up against you. it was chris after all, he’d never do anything to hurt you, plus, he was always so gentle with you whenever it came to stuff like this. your hands tugged the stuffed animal you usually slept with to your chest, nuzzling your nose into the neck of the teddy, the soft material under your fingertips easing your mind a little.

“i’ll be gentle, angel.. no need to worry,” he whispered, one of his hands maneuvering his shorts down mid-thigh, along with his boxers, the other one gently running down the side of your face, tugging a few strands of hair behind your ear.

he wrapped his palm around his cock, fisting his cock with a lewd moan, before bringing the head of his cock to your entrance.

“i’ll put it in now.. it’s just the tip, don’t panic..” he mumbled, pressing a reassuring series of kisses to the side of your neck, feeling you nod. “go- go ahead..”

those words was all he needed, gently smearing his sticky tip down your soaked folds, before pressing it forward, watching it disappear inside of you.

“holy- holy fuck..” he groaned between gritted teeth, his fingers gripping at your hip, a weak gasp elicited from your mouth. “oh, chris..”

your moan was silenced from the soft teddy in your arms, eyes fluttering shut at the slow intrusion, letting whines fall from your lips.

chris nearly lost his mind when he felt your walls squeeze around his tip—it took every fiber in his body not to stuff you full of his cock, not to completely ignore your previous, innocent words and start fucking into you.

“gosh- chris..” you whined, nails digging into the soft fur under your hands.

you could practically feel the desperation seep out of him from behind you, his throbbing dick just aching to be inside you.

“m’sorry angel, sorry.. i can’t hold back, please say something-“ chris's voice was strained with despair, his fingertips digging into your bare hip, smoothing his palm over your thigh.

“it’s- its okay..” you whispered, words somewhat muffled, but coherent. he was thankful almost, mumbling continuous praise and ‘thank you’ into your ear, smoothing his palms down your sides, under your top.

it sure was okay, he could tell. you were drooling around his tip, only making it easier to slide right in—which he did. holding tightly onto you, leaving kisses down your neck and back, he pushed his cock further inside of you, slowly.

“h-halfway, baby.. you’re doing so good,” he husked, his heart pounding in chest as he stilled his movements for a minute, allowing you to adjust.

you couldn’t keep quiet, eyes rolling to the back of your head while they fell shut, biting down onto the plush toy to restrain the moans. yet, pornographic whimpers slipped from your gritted teeth from the painful yet delicious stretch, making chris's head turn to mush.

“fuck.. you’re so perfect,” he hissed, sinking his length in until he was fully sheathed inside your heat with a sigh of relief.

blubbered moans fell shamelessly from the both of your lips as he slowly rutted against you, a hint of pain striking through you as you adjusted to his size.

you knew it was wrong. so, so wrong. friends didn’t do this, they really didn’t. what was gonna happen after this? would you just go to bed and wake up just usually tomorrow, just treating it as a favor?

but even though, you never wanted it to stop. his soft touch, lips continuing their work on your lower neck, stuffing you full of his cock when he rolled his hips.

“does it hurt?” he purred, his hot breath mingling on your neck, making a slight shiver run down your spine.

“no… chris, it feels- feels good,” you breathlessly whimpered, gripping the plush animal between your arms as if your life depended on it, listening to the dirty squelching of your pussy, basically drooling onto the soft material between your lips.

he only nodded, feeling your walls flutter around his cock, clenching and squeezing the life out of him. your back arched just slightly when he hit a specific spot within you, moaning loudly into the stuffed toy.

“y-you’re doing so well.. so beautiful,” he cooed, the praise going straight to the pit in your tummy, feeling the tension tighten as your teeth nibbled on the soft plushie.

“oh- oh my god..” without any warning, the waves came crashing over you, your chest heaving while your grip loosened on the soft plushie in your arms.

“jesus christ,” he panted, his slow but rhythmic thrusts continuing, until he reached his climax as well.

“shit- i’m gonna come,” he barely got to say, before the ropes of white spilled inside of you, letting out a shaky breath at the release of tension. you felt limp in his hold, your face growing hot, and heart racing with lidded eyes.

“thank you, thank you angel,” his breath hitched as he slowly pulled out. his pink lips left repeated kisses to the side of your face, listening intently to your breath regulating gradually, the pants turning back to the soft breaths he’d been listening to just moments prior.

you let a small smile break, nuzzling your nose back into the teddy bear to hide your blushing face, as if your back wasn’t turned to him. “it’s fine…”

his fingers danced across your waist, making their way to your hip, giving it a gentle pat as a dazed smile settled onto his lips.

“come on, pretty.. we gotta go pee,”

more bsf!chris x inexperienced!reader

𝜗𝜚˚࿔ notes: none:3

۶ৎ taglist: @jetaimevous @missmimii @mattscoquette @pearlzier @witchofthehour @elizasturn @loveparqdise @delilahsturniolo @phone4pills @sturnsmia @hearts4werka @cayleeuhithinknott @strnilolover @sturnvxz @lovergirl4gracieabrams @ifwdominicfike @toftomgmf @emely9274 @sturnioloangell @blushsturns @forgottxen @slut4chris888 @marrykisskilled @sophand4n4 @sturnihoelooo @forgottxen @chrisslut04 @sturniolossss @slvtf0rchr1s @blahbel668

© ST7RNIOIOSS est. 2023

[slut4jeon]

Company (jjk)

Pairing: brothers bsf!jk x fm!reader

Sypnosis: Your longtime crush who happens to be your older brothers best friends walks into you humping your pillow to the thought of him

Warnings: 18+ smut, unprotected sex, dry/pillow humping, nudity, reader has an IUD, etc…

Note: hey yawl it’s been a while… if anything sounds off jus so yk it’s not proofread :)

You’ve always carried a long crush for your older brothers bestfriend Jeon Jungkook.

Your ages being separate by 2 years, you’ve always remembered the chicks your older brother Taehyung would sneak into his room after a night out meanwhile your parents slept peacefully in their room.

As of now, this carried onto his current college days. Attending frat parties along with his best friend since childhood, Jungkook.

Your heart ached to be seen as nothing but Taehyungs younger sister to jungkook and others known to him. Especially when after those late night outs you’d come to find a chick wrapped around Jungkook’s meaty arms. You wanted jungkook to see you as a woman who harbored deep feeling for him.

And so, your decided to attend the same college as your brother. It not being that far off your home moving onto campus was not required. Unlike jungkook whose family had moved farther off from town your parents gladly took him in. Knowing him since he was a little boy they allowed him to crash in taehyungs spacious room.

This only made your crush on him worse, you were too shy to even start a conversation with him. Despite your shyness he always acknowledged your presence, never making you feel left out or ignored. Your interactions with him were limited, and every convo was initiated by him with little teases and silly remarks. He’s such a kind guy, no wonder your lingering crush only heightened with him staying in your home.

Classes were over for you and generally Taehyung was always the one to drive you home considering he had a car. A sudden message from him vibrates your phone you carry in your palm.

3:52 pm taetae: not on campus so I asked jk to give you a ride home today

great.

pulling into the campus parking in his car was jungkook, “hey, tae asked me to drive you back home for today he’s out so he’ll be back tomorrow” he said with his silver pierced charming grin

“hi, thanks for driving me back home” you said with your typical shy demeanor as you made way into the passenger seat of his car

“don’t worry about it, sweets”

oh.

That was the nickname he’d given you many many years ago cause of the constant snacking of sweets and candys. He payed notice to that then coining you the nickname “sweets”

You turned your head faced to the direction of the window to hide the rosy cheeks he gave you from pet name

Too shy to keep the conversation going jungkook spoke, bringing up school and asking about your classes. All came to an end once he pulled into the driveway of your home.

“Your brother won’t be back today, he’s spending the night with jennie today”, jungkook said while opening the refrigerator to get a class of water.

dammit.

You thought to yourself. You’re parents are out at work and don’t arrive til 9pm. So that means it’s just you and Jungkook for the meanwhile. What a mess, you figured you were gonna stay locked in your room for the remaining time until your parents got home.

“Well, I’m just gonna work on my assignments due tomarrow…”

“Alright, I’m off to the gym. In case anything happens feel free to call me, okay?”, the tattooed man said.

The muscular man did go to the gym everyday though. Usually around 4:30pm for about at least 2 hours.

“Okay” last thing said between you two before grabbing his gym bag and making his way out the door.

“Hey Jungkook?”

“Yea?”

“Thanks for looking out for me”, this time you held onto the eye contact made between both irises. Making sure to illuminate your gratitude to him.

He offered you a grin from his silver pierced lips, “no problem, sweets”

You could not get Jungkook out of your head. It was impossible to focus on your assignments without thinking about the tall raven hair tattooed man with the bunny smile. He lingered your mind, causing stress.

Closing your MacBook and tossing it aside you decided to relieve this aching stress that invaded your mind but also the lingering ache between your legs.

You rid yourself of your clothing only remaining in your cropped tank and underwear.

Positioning your pillow between your legs in which your body hovered over you made onto your pillow searing yourself upon it.

Arching your back and you rocked your hips back and forth onto the wrinkled textured fabric of the pillow. The lacy panties you were currently wearing added to the ecstasy. Following the flow of movement adding friction and pressure to your needy clit.

“mhhpp, fuck” gasping out while you retracted your head back then forward.

The layered front strands of your mid length hair covered your face due the continuous movement of your head. Tucking them back behind your ear once again.

“j-jungkook! s’good, feels so good…” you desperate whined as you chased your high.

Gripping onto the pillow leaving your knuckles white due to the pressure of squeezing while leaning forward.

Your pillowy nipples lacked attention, your fingers latched onto the buds from the outside of your tank. You weren’t wearing a bra so the thin shirt was the only separation between your calloused fingers and hardened buds.

Getting rid of your shirt and panties you were bare entirely. Your only audience being the plushies corner of your bed watching the show you gave them.

Is what you thought, too oblivious and deep into your own world to have heard the sound of the car pulling up into the drive way, to have heard the sound of the front door opening and footsteps. To have noticed the presence of the same man whose name you constantly let slip past your moaning lips watching you reach your high on your pillow at the thought of him.

He watched your ass jiggle at the rapid movement of your hips, along with the movement of your breasts The way your face contorted into an expression of pleasure with your teeth biting onto the plump of your lips. The sight in front of him had his length twitching in the gray sweats he changed into before leaving the gym.

“g’na cum, please let me cum…fuck jungkook need it so bad!” you desperately expressed.

At the final rock of your hips you released, a shivering orgasm causing you to rip a pitched whine.

The movement of your hips lessened as you rode out your orgasm. Tired and worn out after that workout your head began to wander off.

Until.

“Quite the performance you showed off there” your heart dropped

There he was. The same man that you’d been rubbing your pussy against your pillow at the thought of watched you get off.

“Jungkook!” you wanted the ground to swallow you whole at this very moment.

Quickly grabbing into your discarded clothing at an attempt to cover your bare body. Unaware of what to say in explanation to the presence in front of you.

“I-I…”

No words could come out or your mouth as you watched Jungkook walk towards you with a darkened expression.

Removing the piece of clothing from your grip at attempt of concealing yourself. His eyes remained at your bare figure. Tempted at the sight of your hardened nipples, goosebumps covered your skin.

“Fucking hell, look at you. Getting off to the thought of me? You’re so damn cute…”

The eye contact made you aware of the glint in his eyes, a message he was trying to convey.

“Jungkook?” you quietly questioned

“You gonna let me do what I want with you, hm? Is that what you want?”

Your eyes remaining in contact with his glistening ones, you nod your head in response.

That was all it took from jungkook to commect your lips with his. Hungrily capturing your mouth, sloppily stuffing his tongue down your throat causing him to groan and you to whimper at his roughness.

“Open your legs, baby. Show me how wet your pussy is”, you obeyed and showed him your glistening folds lathered in your cum.

Taking his tattooed hand and gathering the substance on his fingers he brought them to his mouth. The taste of your discharge coated his tongue as he cleaned it from his fingers.

“Fuck, you’re as sweet as your nickname. You sure live up to it”, he said as he continue to lick clean his slick coated fingers.

Your fingers inched towards the hem of his sweats, encircling the strands of the waistline.

“What is it you want, sweets?

“You.”

“Take me out, baby” fuck, that practically confirmed to you he was hiding a big package under there.

Lowering his sweats his hardened cock sprung free from the confided layer of fabric.

Taking his length in your palm toward your warm mouth to lubricate it with your saliva. Jerking him off in a up and down motion earning you grunts and groans from him.

“Just like that, fuck…keep doing that n I’ll cum” he gritted out.

Pushing you onto the soft surface of the bed you watched as he removed his clothing. You admired his muscular physique, the gym really did pay off.

“Are you really sure about this?”

“Yes, I’m sure” confirming.

“Condom?”

“It’s okay I’m on an IUD, I’ll take an after pill tomorrow”, reassuring him

He hovered over your body, hiding in the crevice of your neck to leave a few pecks while aligning his length to your heat.

Your chest heaved deeply as you exhaled, the slight burn of his size rubbing toward your tight walls ignited pleasure.

“mhpm! j-jungkook..” wrapped arms on his back as he thrusted in you, increasing the pace as you let out more moans and whimpers.

“I know, baby…ya’ feel so good, so warm n’ tight”, he cooed.

At sudden movement his arms then wrapped around your thighs hoisting you up while the relentless abuse to your cunt never stopped.

“Ahh! f-fuck! Jungkook!”, Now in the standing missionary position, he was in deeper than you’ve ever experienced. The motion of his hips thrusting at an unforgivable pace, all that was heard was the sound of his balls smacking against your sopping pussy filling the entire room.

“shit, m’ gonna cum”

“m-me too..” your climax right on the edge.

With that both of you reached your highs, his thrusts began slowing down to ride out the climax. Both the mixture of your cum riding from his abdomen down his leg.

Laying you down on the soft surface of your bed with his cock still soft in you. Enjoying each other’s company as you laid in his embrace.

“Jungkook, are you gonna tell?” you innocently say with genuine concern written on your face.

“Now why would I do that? I’ve been waiting for this moment for quite a long while now. Why? Do you not want this?”

“No, I do! But when you say you’ve been waiting for this moment for quite a while now, what outcome do you expect to come from this? Taehyung will find out sooner or later and it’ll get messy.” your questioned further anticipated his response.

He let out a sigh, “you see sweets, I’ve envisioned this moment to occur, I’ve gotten off at the thought of you just like you showed off earlier. I want you just as bad….” he admits.

“I don’t see you as just my best friends younger sister, I see you as much more”

“Jungkook?” fuck, he’s worried. What if the feelings are mutual as what he initially believed they were? What if we only meant it to be a quick fuck?

“Hm?” Oh well.

“I see you as much more too”, you don’t know where this sudden burst of confidence came out but this weight you’ve been carrying has been lifted after your confession, you feel more at ease.

Both your gazes locked in with one another. Both leaning into each other as your mouths then mounded into one.

The kiss was deep and passionate, although you both have confessed your mutual feelings for each other, there’s something different about it. Feeling more as acceptance and comfort.

“The things you do to me y/n, you don’t get it”.

“You’re mine, all mine”

Pt 2?

[moechies]

giving older bsf toji a bj cs u dont have any money on u for gas 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

oh mi gosh. dis is absolutely so filthy ‘nd absolutely perfect for him . dis is how grimy he is in my mind.. (modern au where toji is RICH $$)

“toji.”

“hm, darling?” you look upon the questioning man sitting besides you, one strong hand that guides the steering wheel of your own car. he insisted to drive, and in what position would you say no? you’d never pass up an offer to be passenger princess.

“i-i forgot.”

“forgot what?”

“forgot money for gas, toji.”

“are ya dumb sweetheart? goin’ t’get gas n the one thing ya forgot is gas money?”

“‘m s-sorry toji, can you lend me? please? promise i won’t forget next time!”

he scoffs, knowing well that he would’ve paid nonetheless. but watching you nervously scramble yourself together, anticipating a response from him is too adorable, he thinks.

“yeah, but ya gotta pay me back.”

“course i will! gonna give it back as soon as we ge-“

“no sweetie. not with money.”

your head turns slow to the man, already shooting you a evil-intentioned smirk. his free hand comes down to scarce over the evident bulge that pokes through his sweats, indirectly instructing you.

“with your mouth, honey.”

he chuckles when your face flushes red, how unexpecting.

with over 3 years of close friendship, the man had assumed that you at least would’ve noticed; his stares that pierce into your skin, touches that linger a little too long, and the constant absence of your favorite panties. what a naive little thing you were; he loved it.

if you didn’t know his true intentions then, you’d definitely know now.

“c’mon, y’want me to fill it up right?”

“t-“

“the tank sweetie. the car. don’t you want gas?”

you huff when he chuckles at your flustered expression. your small fingers dance across his bulge, his own hand messily slipping under the band of his sweats, releasing himself. he can’t help the smile that spreads across his face when you gasp, fawn like eyes that immediately shoot up to meet his gaze.

“s-so big..”

“mm, you think so?” he teases.

his hand slithers to the back of your head, fingers playing with one or two strands of your hair.

“c’mon, be good..”

he smiles at you coyly, desperate even, and it makes your heart and your cunt clench.

with slight pressure from the man’s hand, you find yourself lowering onto the tip of his cock. your puffy lips press against the warm slit, an immediate groan that spills from his lips,

“no action recently?” you tease, facing him with a slight smile,

“shaddup princess. yer lucky you’re cute.”

you snicker, separating your slicked up lips to wrap around the thick of his cock head. your tongue presses against the slit once again, tasting the sweet substance that coats his dewy slit; more that spews from the teasing licks.

“don’t t-tease.”

you hold yourself further onto his cock to accommodate his length, a light gag that elicits from your throat. tears brim in your eyes when you feel your jaw begin to ache, but the needy man pays no mind when he begins thrusting into your warmth.

oh and when he feels a warm tear fall onto the skin of his thigh, he nearly cums.

“heh.. there you go, see? ya can do it.”

you hum around him, the light sensation that drills right through his sensitive cock.

“g-gunna cum. shit.”

and with a few shallow thrusts, his cum brims. it’s warm, and thick, but you swallow without a second thought. you pull yourself off to meet your eyes with his, vision daisy and face fumed with a sweet blush once again.

“hah.. gonna have to fill you up, darling. we’ll worry about the car later, kay?”

[slvthrs]

can you do a vinnie x fem reader smut where she (reader) is stressed out and vinnie fucks her good on the balcony and they didn’t care anymore if they get caught of what 🙈

ofc my lovesss

BREATHE BABY | v.hacker

— MINORS PLEASE FUCK OFF FOR UR OWN GOOD —

stress never stood a chance against a tall blond with an unyielding love for you.

BSF!VINNIE X FEM!READER

WARNINGS: NSFW CONTENT MINORS DNI, fucking in a pool over the city, vinnie LOVES u, praise kink, hickies n love bites

word count: 2.5k <3

a/n: idfk if vinnie has a pool in his apt, i added one for the plot 😭

Stress was one of the most constant presences in your life. University, friendships, family relationships. It was as if stress was an obsessive ex that you couldn’t get rid of creeping back into your life once it got good. 

The only thing that could keep it a bay was Vinnie, your best friend of 12 years, ever since you were nine years old the boy was like a walking calmer for you. His presence made you relax and he always reminded you when you needed to take a break.

Ever since he moved out to LA at 18 the stress slowly crept back into your life, and you had to adapt again. More friends in uni and new found appreciation of swimming. 

If you weren't studying or with your friends, you were swimming. Sometimes the water made you calm down, it felt as if all your stress floated away as the water touched your skin.

That’s where you were again, the pool attached to Vinnie's apartment. 

It was so odd, the lanky scruffy boy who you became friends with grew into the type of men you would see modeling- and you did.

Everything was so much more intimidating about the boy. His height, the tattoos littering his skin which make your skin turn hot. 

His new found fame which made your head dizzy the longer you thought about it. The idea of the boy you first became friends with turning into this man who had girls falling over him left in right made your stomach flip and you had no idea if it was good or bad. 

You had kept an eye on what he was up to in LA, his friends, his business, that one fight that made you nearly throw up out of fear. 

And of course who he was dating.

It always said he wasn’t seeing anyone but you were never convinced, no one looks like that and is single, you always thought to yourself.

But it wasn’t just him who had changed. 

Looking back, being stuck to one boy's side for all of elementary, middle, and high school was a hindrance.

Once you branched out in university you flourished.

You grew into a new woman.

Your features were sharper, your curves more defined, your entire face had what your friends called, ‘a glow up’. 

Regular visits to the gym and taking care of yourself made you stand out.

Also being more active in your sex and love life made you more in touch with your body. Your last ex boyfriend taught you so much about what you did and didn’t like, you got better and sex and the burst of confidence helped you in tremendous ways.

You walked with more purpose in your steps and it really did seem like you left Seattle and turned into a different woman.

But this new Vinnie made you feel like a little girl again. Floundering in the big kids pool, kicking your tiny legs for a chance to come up and breathe again.

All of your confidence was for show as when Vinnie walked in you returned into that stressful anxious girl again.

You relaxed lackadaisical at the edge of the pool looking over the edge. 

Everything looked so small, everyone down there had their own lives, your worries seemed miniscule compared to what everyone else down there had to go through. 

An ambulance rushed by and the only thought you had was someone was about to get the most devastating news of your life.

It was like a trance the city of LA put you into.

The city of angels. 

“You look deep in thought.” The velvety voice of the boy who the house belonged to piped in.

You turned and saw Vinnie resting against the sliding door of the balcony. His hands were in the pockets of his swim trunks whilst he had an unbuttoned linen shirt barely converting his ink filled torso. 

“I’m always deep in thought Vinne, you know that.” A small huff left your plump lips as you turned and said that.

“I know but especially today.” He explained whilst walking over to dip his feet in the pool, “Is LA freaking you out? I felt like that for the first year I was here.”

He always did that. Trying to figure out what made you uncomfortable and trying to fix that. He was always kind like that.

“No Vin, it’s everything. It’s so weird. You left Seattle as a scared boy and now you seem like someone I’d see plastered on magazines talking about how many girls he sleeps with in a year.” The crude stereotype aside, Vinnie laughed at your remark.

“I’m still the same guy, you know that.” He said and continued a second later, “Besides, look at you. You're like a different person.”

It was your turn to laugh now, “You can come in you know that? It’s like you're trying to stay away from me.”

He smiled, “Thanks for the invite into my own pool.”

Despite the sarcasm he took his shirt off and entered the pool, walking over to where you were floating. 

He towered over you.

“I don’t think I’ve changed that much.” You toyed with your bikini strap, “I’m still the same anxious girl you met.”

His hands rested on your waist, “Sure, but you're more confident, you're more talkative, plus you look so different.” 

It’s quiet until Vinnie breaks the silence again.

“I kept checking on your Instagram now and again. You seem happier.” You both know what he means when he says that.

“I am. Moving out of Seattle was hard but in the grand scheme of things I couldn’t stay there after you left, it felt empty.” You tell him as he pushes a strand of hair away from your face.

“M’ sorry, I had to leave but my biggest regret is that you couldn’t have come with me.” 

You laugh pulling away from him and turing back around, facing the city again, leaning over the edge of the pool.

“Even if you have asked I wouldn’t have come. I love you Vin, but I was always was gonna go to university. You were the unconventional one out of the 2 of us.” You sigh pulling you hair to one side and playing with the ends, a sort of nervous tick you developed after your first months in university.

“I know.” He breathes out, “That’s why I didn’t ask but a part of me always hoped you would come.” 

He comes closer to you, his hands wrap around your waist and now your back is hitting his chest. His head practically rests on top of yours.

You nearly start crying. 

You don’t know why. 

“You think anyone down there is going through the same thing were going through?” It’s a dumb question on your part but you like talking to the blond.

“Are any of them dealing with 2 friends you love each other and have been apart for so long that they don’t know what to do,” He pauses, “Also one of them if famous and the other is the most amazing person on earth? Nah I don’t think so.”

“Mhm that makes sense.”

It goes quiet again.

The wind rustles against the palm trees and if you really focused your ears you could hear the waves crashing along the shore.

“You keep tabs on my insta?” You ask with a smile creeping up on your face

He smiles him self letting a huff of laughter out, “Yeah, I was hoping you forgot I said that.”

“Why, whatd’ya see on there?” Another dumb question, you know exactly what he saw on there.

“You look happier, also you have new friends, ones I would like to meet,” His heart skips a beat, “Also y’know that guys on there.”

You laugh internally and turn around so you can see his face.

“Their some of my friends, I think you would like them.” You know he wouldn’t.

“What about Tyler?” 

Your ex-boyfriend, the one you meet during finals week of your sophomore year. You had dated for nearly 9 months before you broke it off. 

It wasn’t anything serious, he didn’t cheat, he didn’t lie- your lives were too different and you both knew that.

It was a mutual decision but Vinnie didn’t care. Anyone the broke up with you or even hurt you in anyways was evil in his eyes, how anyone could do that to you, he couldn’t explain to himself. 

“Tyler’s Tyler it doesn’t matter.” 

He blinks at you.

“What you want me to bring up all the girls your rumored to be dating?”

“Fuck off you know that isn’t the same thing. Half of those girls I only follow on tiktok and I haven’t been in a single committed relationship with any of them… Why the fuck did I find out about your long term relationship over fucking INSTAGRAM, I’m your best friend what hell?”

He steps back, with his hands in the air like he’s being accused of something.

“I don’t know Vin I just didn’t know how to tell you, everything was too much. I was so worried what you were gonna think and then it got to late. I felt like there was no point in telling you-” 

You ramble and he cuts you off.

“It’s fine, breathe pretty girl, just relax, I’m right here.” 

He pulls you closer to him and the moment you look into his eyes that calming effect he has on you just corses through your body.

Something just clicks inside the both of you and he’s kissing you so gently it’s like hes afraid of breaking you. 

His lips slot perfectly into your’s, it’s like you were made for him, his hands fall onto your ass as he pulls you closer, his eyebrows are knitted together in focus and he’s holding you as if he’s afraid to lose you.

It feels so fucking right. 

You the one that pulls him harder into you, your hands tangle into his hair, deepening the kiss.

Your nails rake the back of his neck and he hums in content. 

Your the one that pulls back, a trail of saliva linking the 2 of you and he looks at you so intently as if he’s studying you.

“Your so beautiful. I don’t think I tell you that enough.” And his lips are back on yours.

Your the one who pulls the strings of your bikini of and his lifting you up so your flush against his body, most likely so he can feel your tits pressed up against his chest. 

He’s grining in the kiss, as his hands grope your thighs and ass trailing up towards your hips. His hands are all over you and your ecstatic they are.

“More” you whisper into the kiss like it’s a secret only the two of you can share or else yoru lives would ruin.

“Please Vinnie I’m begging you.” You know your not telling him what you wnat but you pray he’ll save some of the embarrassment for you.

“Tell me what you want, I’ll do anything for you.” It’s like a prayer or promise of worship.

“Fuck me please, do whatever you want, I just need you.” It’s desperate and it turns Vinnie on so much more.

His fingers link around the straps of your bottoms and he pulls the down, your fully nude under him as he fiddles with his own shorts.

Your legs link around him as he slowly slides his dick in letting you get used to the size if anything. 

You head falls onto his shoulders as you sigh out, your eyebrows knit and you nearly loose your shit. 

He feels so much bigger than anyone else you’ve ever had sex with and your entire body feels like its getting shocked.

The sensation to crynearly hits you before you pull your self together, latching you lips onto Vinnie’s neck as he starts to move you.

It’sa rhythmic pace and it’s a kind one faring his size but you want more. You’ve waited years for this and you want more than him just being kind. 

“Vinnieee,” It comes out as a needy whine as you cry out his name, “More, harder, anything just please needa feel you everywhere.” 

You ramble but he knows what you want. He knows your body, he knows you better than you know yourself. 

His pace speeds up and he tries to keep kissing your but you keep writhing. He finds it adorable but your trying not to cum as quick to draw this out. 

You wanna feel him everywhere, you wanna be able to only see him.

“Vin,” You words are loosing power as he keeps thrusting into you, your thighs are sore and your mind is clouded with the thought of yoru impending orgasm. 

“Choke me please, need to feel you.” His pace falters as he tries to grapple with what you just admitted to him.

The look on your face proves your not joking but he swears he nearly came just by the sentence alone. 

His dick twitches inside you as his hands wrap around the base of your neck, he pulls yoru face up and you look into his eyes. 

You look drunk and delrious and he wants you to have his kids right there on the spot. 

He can’t even tell you what it is, he’s just so much more in love with you.

As his hands add pressure your hands comes to weakly wrap around his, not realy doing anything, just an unorthodox way of holding hands.

Your sense are flooded with just, Vinnie. 

The same boy practically trained to teach you how to breathe when your mind rabbles, cutting your breathe off, and the way he looks while doing it.

His pupils are blown out and his face looks like a mix of lust and love. The whole scene out of a porno but even his eyes can’t hide how deeply he’s in love with you.

When he lets your neck go you inhale so deeply you nearly start coughing and he pulls you closer to him as his thrusts become sporadic. 

Your forehead rests against his as you both cum, nearly blacking out as your vision goes white.

Your panting as he puts you down on the edge of the pool as he finds you a towl and the rest of your clothes floating around in the pool. 

You end up in the bath making sure the get the chlorine off and the residues of sex off the both of you.

Your lying ontop of his as his hands rake through your hair.

“Just breathe baby we’ll take about it tomorrow.” And thats what you do, breathing to the sund of his heartbeats. 

[willowsnook]

Done Waiting

Lando Norris x bsf!reader

She isn’t you

Hi, could I request a salami sandwich with tomato on wheat bread, please, and thank you. Request from @itsnotsophiasworld

—-------------------------------

MF: SOS, can anyone fly to Spain to check on Lando? From what I’ve gathered, he is staying in an Airbnb by himself and very much in his head. I’m caught up in some work stuff, or else I’d make the trip myself. 

Your heart sank reading Max's text to your friend group. Lando had been having a rough season and was constantly getting ripped apart in the media, no matter what he did. All you could do was make sure that he knew you were there for him and try to be around as much as possible, which was easy as you also lived in Monaco. But after the last race before summer break, none of you had heard from him. 

Looking at flights, you quickly replied to the group saying that you could go. One of the many perks of working remotely was that you could pick up your computer and go anywhere, so leaving to help Lando was a no-brainer. There was a flight leaving tonight, so you purchased that and started to pack. 

You wished the world could see him the way that you did. He was a caring, down-to-earth friend who would do anything for the people he loved. It was hard for anyone who knew him not to like him, and it was hard for you not to be in love with him. 

It hadn’t taken you long after meeting him to fall for his charm, but he had been dating someone else then, so you settled for friendship. That was three years ago, and you’d dated guys since, but the feelings still lingered. He could make you feel like you were the only girl in the world, so it was easy to get sucked in. 

Ultimately, you valued your friendship too much to ever act on it, even when you were both single. You’d been through too much together to risk losing him. You had a hunch that he felt the same way about you because of how overly affectionate he was with you compared to everyone else and that you were usually his first call. Still, his life was busy, and you understood that a girlfriend didn’t fit in that picture right now. 

Landing in Spain around 10, you grabbed your luggage before jumping in a cab to the address Max had sent you. The Airbnb was a cute little beach cottage right on the ocean, and you inhaled a deep breath of salty air and instantly felt better. 

The door to the house swung open, and you were greeted by what seemed to be a very irritated Lando. 

“What are you doing here?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Making sure you don’t do something crazy,” you replied, mirroring him with his arms. 

“I want to be alone.”

“I don’t care.” 

You stared at each other for a while, neither one giving in before he finally sighed and moved past you to grab your suitcase, grumbling to himself. The cottage had windows on the backside, allowing a constant view of the ocean, which you could appreciate. Lando put my luggage in the guest room before joining me as you looked at the water. 

“You didn’t have to come; I’m fine,” he muttered. You looked over at him with a sad smile, reaching your hand down to grab his. 

“I wanted to come.” He gave you a small smile, and you took in his exhausted state, noting just how bad it really was. 

“Why don’t we get some rest? Then you’ll be ready for a full day tomorrow,” you suggested, and he looked over at you. 

“I’m here to relax, y/n,” he said, and you smiled mischievously. 

“It will be relaxing, I promise.”

It was not relaxing. 

You dragged Lando out of bed at 7 a.m. to go on a run, and he was not happy with you, but you were just happy he came along. Jogging through the little town, you could tell that his mood was improving as he kept pace with you. 

Out of breath, you were hunched over as you two had climbed to the top of a dune. 

“Are you not relaxed?” Lando teased, and you gave him the finger. “Aren’t you supposed to be working?” 

“Yeah, I need to log on when we get back to the place,” you wheezed, and he handed you his water bottle. “What are your plans for while I work?” 

“Oh, I don’t know, scroll through social media hate, maybe watch all my old races and critique everything I did; the possibilities are endless.” 

Shooting him a look, you sighed, “That would be funny if I didn’t know you’d already been doing that.” 

He looked down at his feet, and you moved over to him, wrapping your arms around his torso. His head found your shoulder, he breathed deeply, and you held on tighter. 

“You’re going to be okay Lan,” you said, looking up at him. 

“I know,” he said sadly. 

Lando spent the rest of the day in the water while you worked, slipping away to get groceries for the night. He hadn’t had time to hide all the takeout bags and boxes he had been surviving on, so you figured a homecooked meal would do him well. 

Having dealt with him being a picky eater for a while, you were finishing up your favorite spaghetti and meatballs recipe when he came back into the house. 

“Smells great,” he commented and you smiled. “Can we eat outside?”

“You read my mind,” you replied, plating the food. 

Eating on the back deck, you felt a sense of serenity as the sound of waves crashing filled your ears. 

“This place is amazing; how did you find it?” You asked, turning to Lando. 

“Honestly, I just opened the app and picked the first place I saw that looked secluded,” he admitted. “I just wanted to be away from everyone.” 

“We are here for you to lean on Lan,” you said softly. “I’m never going to leave you.” 

“I know that, but I just don’t want to disappoint you,” he confessed, and your heart sank. 

“Lando Norris,” you said, forcing him to look at you. “There is nothing you could ever do to disappoint me. I am so insanely proud of everything you’ve accomplished. Please come back to Monaco with me tomorrow.”

“What did I do to deserve you?” He whispered, holding out his arms. You climbed into his lap, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and running your fingers through his hair. 

“You buy me so much shit so I have to be nice to you,” you joked and he giggled. He pulled his head back to look at you, and your breath hitched because of the lack of distance between the two of you. Shifting, you tried to move back but his grip on you tightened so you leaned down to bring your lips to his. As you were a millimeter away his phone started to ring and you rested your head briefly against his, groaning internally. 

Sliding off of him you handed him his phone as it was Max calling. Hearing him tell Max he was coming home the next day made you smile, and you gathered all the dishes to clean up. He joined you a little later, and neither of you brought up the almost kiss; you wrote it off as something that happened in the heat of the moment. 

—------------------------------

Zandvoort was a dream, and you were so glad you made the trip with your friends. The next race you were going to was Singapore and Lando had invited you, Max, and some others to hang out the week before in Portugal. 

Your friend group had rented a big house, and you were ready to soak in the sun and relax after taking the week off work. Pietra and you had flown in together and met up with everyone that night at dinner. 

“Hi, I’m Mary,” a girl you didn’t recognize said to you, holding out her hand. You smiled back warmly, introducing yourself. 

“Mary and I met at a shoot early this year,” Pietra explained, and you nodded. You chatted with her for a while over dinner, glad to have another girl on the trip. 

You were less happy the next day when you watched this girl throw herself at Lando every chance she got. Right now, you were watching as she asked Lando how to show her how to hit the ball off the tee at the golf course where you guys were. 

“Ya know I went golfing with her two weeks ago, and she had a perfect swing,” Pietra muttered and you grimaced, watching Lando wrap his arms around the girl to guide her swing. It seemed like she would find a way to touch him no matter where you went. Up against him at dinner, clinging to him in the pool, leaning on him while you were watching a movie. 

At this point your jealousy was flaring up and you were trying to keep your composure, especially because this girl had been nothing but nice to you. What made it worse was that Lando entertained it, accepting her advances right in front of you. Your mind replayed that almost kiss back in Spain and the way the two of you had gotten closer since that trip. It had seemed to you that something was changing in your relationship, but clearly not. The whole trip you felt like your heart was being ripped apart and you were starting to wonder if you needed to take a break from being around him until you could get over your crush. 

Two nights before you were supposed to leave the group ended up at a club downtown as a pre-celebration for what you predicted would be a Lando win in Singapore. Rounds and rounds of shots were taken and you were dancing with Pietra on the dance floor trying to have a good time. 

You briefly glanced back at the VIP section, and your stomach dropped. Mary was sitting on Lando’s lap, and you watched as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. Water instantly filled your eyes, and Pietra looked concerned before following your gaze. She looked at you with such sadness that you decided then and there that you were done. 

Leaving the club you walked back to the Airbnb alone. You weren’t sure if it was your drunkenness or just the emotional exhaustion of the situation but you started to get angry. Time after time, you were there for him and this is what you got back. It would be different if he had made it clear from the start that he wasn’t interested but he didn’t do that. He slept in your bed back in Monaco on nights like these, he spoiled you constantly with gifts, and you knew that he had told other drivers on the grid to back off from you, laying a claim. 

God, you were so fucking over it. 

You gathered all your stuff and threw it in your suitcase, calling for a cab to take you to the airport. You made it down the stairs just as Max was coming in. His face fell as he saw your bag. 

"No y/n don’t go,” he pleaded, and you shook your head, already feeling tears start to fill your eyes. 

“I can’t fucking do this anymore Max,” you said, voice cracking. “I have to protect my heart.” 

“You know he loves you,” he said moving towards you to hold you. “Everyone knows that.” 

“If that’s true, why have I watched him with her this whole weekend? Why did I just watch him sit there when she stuck her tongue down his throat right in front of me,” you yelled and Max stayed silent. “Exactly. I need some space to figure out how things can move forward between us.” 

Max helped you carry your bag outside and the two of you stood silently waiting for the car. Just as it pulled up, Lando walked up to the house, alone. 

“Y/N!” He called out, not seeing your suitcase yet. “Where’d you run off too? I was looking for you.” 

You turned around and his eyes widened seeing your tear stained face, his gaze flickering down to your bag. 

“What’s going on?” He asked hoarsely and you just shook your head turning back to get into the car before you started to sob. 

“Let her go mate,” you heard Max tell him and you looked out the window to see him holding Lando back. The sight made you cry harder as the car finally drove off. 

Lando’s POV

Watching the car disappear down the street, Lando turned to Max, panic and confusion colliding in his mind.

“Why is she leaving, Max? What the hell happened?”

Max let out a sigh, his eyes searching Lando’s face with a mix of frustration and pity. “Mate, she’s in love with you. And honestly, you’re in love with her too, even if you haven’t figured it out yet.”

Lando froze, the weight of Max’s words hitting him harder than he expected. He thought of all the moments he spent with you—the late-night talks, the shared laughter, the comforting silence. He thought about how he’d let Mary get close, but each time she reached for him, a nagging feeling crept up inside him.

She isn’t you.

The thought was so painfully clear now. It didn’t matter how kind or fun Mary was—she wasn’t you. And suddenly, he realized why none of it felt right.

“I need to go,” Lando said suddenly. “I need to go to the airport.” 

He took off down to the main street hailing a cab but when he finally got there, you were gone. 

—--------------------------------------------

You skipped the Singapore GP. You didn’t even watch it on tv so you didn’t know why everyone was wondering why despite winning, Lando looked miserable standing on the podium. 

He had texted you a million times begging you to call him but you declined the call everytime. You were trying to move on. You’d started running again in the mornings, working out of coffee shops,  and hanging out with your girlfriends. Basically you were doing everything in your power to not think of him; and it worked until 10pm each night. Then you were miserable. 

It was two weeks after Singapore when you heard knocking at your door one evening. You weren’t expecting anyone so you were especially surprised to see Oscar standing on the other side of your door. Considering he didn’t live in Monaco, you didn’t really know what to say, just stared at him silently. 

“May I come in?” He asked politely and you nodded, stepping aside to let him through. “Nice apartment.”

“Thanks,” you replied following him into the living room. “What are you doing here?”

He settled down on your couch, motioning for you to join him and you sunk down on the other side. 

“I need you to tell me what happened when you and Lando were in Portugal,” he said slowly and you immediately looked away. 

“It doesn’t matter,” you mumbled, playing with your hands. 

“It does matter,” Oscar insisted. “It’s okay if you finally rejected him but I need to know how to fix him.”

Your head snapped up, “I didn’t reject him Oscar. He basically rejected me.” 

“There’s no way,” Oscar said, shocked and you told him everything that had happened from you flying to Spain for him to him making out with that girl at the club. 

“Trust me when I say that I’m not trying to invalidate your feelings, but I feel like this is a big misunderstanding,” Oscar said and you rolled your eyes. “He is so in love with you y/n. All he does is talk about you.”

“Then why did he never tell me!” You said, voice rising. “I’ve been there the whole time Oscar, and he has never said anything. I want to be with someone who isn’t afraid to love me.” 

Oscar’s heart broke at your words, knowing you were feeling this way. 

“I came here y/n, because he is a mess without you,” he said. “I’ve never seen him like this and it’s starting to affect his racing so I’m begging you to at least think about talking to him.” 

—-------------------------------------

You would have thought that Lando would stop texting after a while but he didn’t. Every morning he texted you “good morning” and gave you updates on his day even though you weren’t responding. His plan seemed to be to slowly chip away at you until you were ready to come back and unfortunately it was working. 

Brazil was the next race that your friend group was attending and you went back and forth on what you should do before finally deciding to book a flight. Max must have told Lando because you immediately were notified that your flight had been upgraded and your hotel had been booked. 

Because of a work event, you weren’t going to be able to get there until Saturday night and probably wouldn’t see Lando until qualifying or after the race. You joined Max and Pietra on the track, bright and early on Sunday morning and you were wondering how Lando would survive with it being this early in the morning. 

Oscar gave you a big hug when he saw you and you could tell he was incredibly relieved that you were there. Qualifying was 20 minutes away and you heading towards the Paddock club when you turned a corner and were immediately wrapped up in two arms. Inhaling his familiar scent, you relaxed into his touch. 

“I missed you so fucking much,” he said into your ear and you hummed in reply. You were still unsure about pretending like nothing ever happened. He pulled back to look at you and his excitement was contagious, pulling a small smile out of you. 

“We’ll talk later okay?” He asked and you nodded. “I have a lot of things I need to say to you.”

He kissed your forehead before running off and you tried to keep your cool. Qualifying was good for him and you were feeling good about the race but a little nervous about the weather conditions. 

Sitting with Max and Pietra in the paddock club the mood was very much anxious. Lando had been doing great until a red flag reset everything. He had fallen down because of pitting and you watched as he went off the track on that first turn, your heart sinking. The rest of the race was a blur and he finished in P6 which you knew would not go over well with him. 

After the race, you felt hesitant heading back to the McLaren hospitality area. You weren’t sure if he’d want to see you, especially in his disappointment. But as you lingered by the entrance, you caught sight of him. Lando was drenched, exhausted, and his usual radiant energy seemed dimmed. Still, he locked eyes with you, a faint smile managing to pull at the corner of his lips.

He walked over slowly, stopping right in front of you. “You waited for me?”

“Of course I did, Lando,” you replied softly, feeling the gravity of the moment settle in. “I always do.”

He nodded, then glanced around at the crowded area. “Can we go somewhere… quieter?”

You followed him through the paddock until you found yourselves outside in a secluded spot overlooking the track. For a moment, neither of you spoke. Finally, Lando took a deep breath.

“I was an idiot,” he began, voice raw with honesty. “You don’t know how many times I replayed that trip to Portugal, thinking about what I could’ve done differently. I didn’t understand how much it would hurt you… I was blind to everything but my own mess.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but he kept going, unable to hold back.

“You’ve been the best part of my life for years, and it took almost losing you to realize how much I’d taken you for granted. I’m sorry, y/n. I thought I was protecting you by not… admitting how I feel. I thought if I never said it out loud, maybe it’d hurt less. But I can’t pretend anymore. I love you.”

Hearing those words, the walls you’d built around yourself began to crack, the anger and disappointment from before softening as you looked into his eyes.

“I’ve loved you for so long,” you whispered and he gave you a soft smile. 

“I know, I’m sorry I didn’t see it before.” 

When he kissed you, it was tender and full of all the unspoken words and missed opportunities between you. As you pulled away, you both smiled, feeling the weight of the past couple of weeks finally lift.

[suncoved]

STOP IT RAFE, YOU'RE BEING MEAN! — RAFE CAMERON

pairing; bestfriend!rafe cameron x fem!reader

summary; rafe has a strict rule that if you ever leave anywhere, you tell him. and when you break that rule, he goes ballistic (bsf!rafe cameron x reader)

warnings ; angst! verbal fighting, angry!rafe, kinda mean rafe, theyre both annoyingly oblivious.. warning this did not turn out how i planned it to be but im also not mad at it, idkkkk

to say you were bored was an understatement.

it was a regular rowdy saturday night in the outerbanks, this nights party being at a random kooks house on the figure eight whose name you couldn't quite remember

you were nursing a forgotten red solo cup of punch in your hand, crowd-watching to pass the time.

it wasn't normal that rafe actually succeeded in convincing you to come to these things. because as much as you liked chatting with spoiled self-absorbed kooks over disgustingly sweet punch, you'd rather stay cuddled up in your fluffy pyjamas and watch sappy romcoms on rafe's couch.

but nevertheless, here you were. dreading every decision you had ever made up to that point as you watched rafe from across the room. a blonde kook girl climbing over him and straddling his hips, sitting on his lap as he smirked.

you knew you really had no right being mad at him because you weren’t dating.

but from the start of your more than 10 year friendship, rafe made it clear that you were and always will be his.

so why didn’t that rule go both ways?

with all the thoughts bouncing around in your head, you failed to hear a certain blonde pouges voice echo around you.

you snapped out of your state, consciousness returning to your mind as a hand was waved repeatedly in your face.

“hey! you there princess?” a smile adorned the boys face, a ratty snapback placed backwards on his blonde hair.

“yeah, jj. right here” you joked, smiling brightly back at him as you brought your cup up to your lips.

“thought we lost you there for a bit princess? what’d you doing standing here all alone?” jj asked, surprised to see your constant kook king shadow nowhere to be seen.

“just people watching, the usual. where’s kie?” you quickly changed the subject, wanting anything to get your mind off of rafe.

“around here somewhere i hope. gonna’ try to round everyone up to we can get outta here. early morning for us cut goers tomorrow, fish to catch and things to steal” you giggled at his joke, earning an even wider grin on his face.

you always liked jj. you thought he was funny, and he was the most loyal person to his friends that you knew. and despite his manic tendencies, you trusted him.

“have a nice night j. drive safe!” you said, watching him wink at you before he disappeared into the crowd.

with jj gone, you were left to your own thoughts agian, which was never a good thing.

you glanced over again at rafe sitting comfortably on the couch on the deck. the light from inside illuminating his face as he leaned over to the table, picking up a small bag of white powder and handing it to a random touran.

you bit your lip as you noticed the same blonde from before clinging to his side, rafe seeming unbothered but making no move to push her off.

god, you couldn’t even imagine how rafe would react if he saw you speaking to jj earlier. so why is it that he can literally let a girl dry hump him in the middle of a party and you shouldn’t care?

you didn’t know why you cared though, because rafe is you best friend, nothing more.

right?

you didn’t have time to think about that right now though, you just needed to get the fuck out of this party right now or you were gonna explode.

an idea clicked in your brain and jj dragged a drunk john b towards the entrance of the house, kiara and pope following quickly behind.

you decided that this was now or never, placing your red solo cup onto a random table as you walked towards them.

“hey jj!” you called out, his head immediately snapping towards you. “you think you could give me a ride home?”

it was nearly 30 minutes later that rafe noticed you were no longer in your spot in corner of the house. business was coming to a halt as he sold his last few grams of cocaine, a heavy wad of cash safely resting in his back pocket.

his eyes scanned the crowd for your face, but you were no where to be seen.

and rafe was starting to freak the fuck out.

he knew you wouldn’t go upstairs to any bedrooms, or go out for an impulse swim in the pool. and he knew most of all that you wouldn’t just leave without telling him, and the notification box in his voice remained empty from your contact.

he ran his hand roughly through his hair, pulling aggressively at the roots and cussing to himself frustrated.

his eyes widened as he saw your friend in the crowd, interrupting what ever useless conversation she was having, because until he knew you were safe, nothing was more important.

he asked rudely where you were, watching as her face morphed into shock that rafe was talking to her. because well, if it’s not plotting on the pouges or selling drugs, rafe doesn’t interact with anyone but you or his friends.

“i-i im not sure. i saw her leave like a bit less than half an hour ago. i thought she told you, she always does”

rafe clenched his jaw, hundreds and thousands of thoughts running through his head. “was she alone?”

“n-no. she was with that jj guy and his friends” your friend murmured, nervous she was ratting you out to the scariest guy in the whole of kildare.

it was safe to say that rafe was fucking pissed.

it took him less than a few seconds to put his keys into the ignition of his jeep and drive illegally fast to your house. you liked to piss him off often when you were in a mood, but never with your safety.

rafe never fucked with your safety, ever.

he murmured venomous cusses to himself and he walked towards your house, the pebbles from your mothers perfect drive way crunching under his feet as he speed to your door.

he made a beeline to the entrance of your home, the white arches welcoming and the doorway dimly lit by the porch lights.

he planted his feet straight on the 'welcome home' door mat, lifting his balled fist up to the door and sending booming knocks to the wood panel.

his knuckles were white as he clenched his fists so hard together there was sure to be crimson-red crescent indents from his fingernails. he was fuming.

the click of the lock releasing from the door snapped him out of his thoughts, the door handle turning and the lobby of the inside of your house quickly coming into view.

he locked eyes with your figure immediately, a pink fluffy towel in your hand as you dried your hair. you were only wearing a pair of long socks and rafes shirt which reached more than halfway down your thighs, your face bare of makeup.

you jumped as you saw the look on his face, an anger prevalent in his stare that you had never seen directed at you. fuck. you were in some deep shit.

you parted your lips to speak, but nothing seemed to come out. for the first time in your life, you were scared of rafe. not that he was going to harm you physically, no, never that.

but you knew how much he cared about you and your safety. you just wished he cared that much about your feelings. you wanted him to see that.

"rafe" you said, your voice coming out as a whisper as you watch the lines on his forehead crease together as thousands of thoughts ran through his head.

"what the fuck were you thinking?" he spat as he pushed you as softly as he could into the house so he could close the door, worried the cold of the night was going to make you shiver.

you didn't have time to answer before he started again, running a hand roughly through his hair as he huffed. "you just left? you fucking left a party at night without even texting me, and you let that fucking pouge drive you home!"

you rolled your eyes at the last statement, this was all about jj? "so that's all you care about? me going home with a boy i've known since third grade who just so happens to live on the cut? you don't give a shit about me, you just care about this stupid kook pouge rivalry!"

"don't say what you know isn't true ma. you know i care about you more than i care about myself." he stated, nearly all the anger in him draining out as he saw your eyes begin to fill with tears. he couldn't handle seeing you cry.

"how do i know you care about me rafe? because you don't seem to show it." you sighed pushing yourself as far away from him as you could, your back pushing up against the wall.

"don't fucking say to me y/n. i've loved you from the moment i met you." you finally stopped looking at the floor, lifting your chin so you made eye contact with him.

"stop it rafe, you're being mean" you whispered, mostly to yourself more than rafe. you couldn't listen to him say how much he loved and cared about you for one more second. not when you still had the picture of him being essentially dry-humped in the middle of a party by a girl you didn't even know.

"ma i love you. you know that. you're my world, my favourite girl. why are you fighting this?" rafe said, trying to hold you wrist in his hand before you quickly pulled it away.

"bec-because you can't just say all this then turn around and have make outs with other girls right in front of me. it-its not fair." you spoke, the tears finally making their way down your cheeks in steady streams.

rafe physically flinched at your statement, his palms getting sweaty and his heart rate increasing into rapid beats. was he actually going to admit his love for you right now, like this?

"what are you saying y/n?" he asked, his voice cracking as his face fell. his mind racing with how many outcomes could come out of this conversation.

"that i love you, you idiot!"

[bakerysnake]

the codependency is real

[itneverendshere]

If you ever heard the song “Insecure” by Jazmine Sullivan, I was wondering if you could read a fic with rafe about that

it’s Like toxic!rafe and reader

INSECURE

PAIRING: bsf!toxic!rafe x kook!reader warnings: emotional manipulation; self-hatred; toxic!rafe.

If someone asked you how it started, you couldn’t even tell them.

It was Rafe Cameron you were talking about.

The guy was a walking red flag, all swagger, all ego, and too much money for his own good. He had the type of face that made you forgive him even when you didn’t want to. And trust, you'd tried to not want to. But that never worked out, obviously.

It’s not like you thought you could change him or whatever. You were not one of those girls. You just...thought you’d be different. Special. Maybe you got a little caught up in that fairy tale bullshit sometimes. Like, maybe if you were the one who held his attention long enough, maybe he’d stop messing around and actually be serious.

Actually see you.

Spoiler alert: That’s not how it worked

You learned that real quick with Rafe.

It wasn’t even two months in before you found some girl's scrunchie in his Jeep.

You were leaving the club, both tipsy, and you slid into the passenger seat when you spotted it in the back. You know how girls leave stuff behind like it’s a game? Like it’s their way of marking territory? That scrunchie was practically a neon sign that read, "I was here."

You picked it up, twirled it around your finger, and waited for him to notice.

He didn’t.

“What's this?” You finally asked, not even looking at him, just staring at that stupid pink scrunchie like it had all the answers you needed.

Rafe glanced over at it for half a second before shrugging, his fingers tapping on the steering wheel. “Dunno. Probably Sarah’s.”

Sarah Cameron, his sister, the golden girl of the family. His excuse every time something came up.

“It’s not Sarah’s.” You weren't buying it. You knew that girl’s style inside and out, and there’s no way in hell she’d be caught dead wearing something this basic. You tossed it into the backseat, feeling your blood boil.

Of course he’d still treat you like shit, why care about a lifelong friendship, right?

Rafe rolled his eyes. He didn’t even have the decency to act like he cared that you were pissed.

“You’re being dramatic,” he said, his voice dripping with that condescension that always made you feel stupid for caring. “It’s just a fucking scrunchie.”

But it wasn’t. Not to you.

See, the thing with Rafe is, he never said he was yours. You never had some grand conversation about exclusivity, about titles, none of that. But that’s how it was with him. He’d show up at your door, flash that killer smile, and you’d forget every reason why he wasn’t good for you.

And yet, there was this constant feeling in your chest.

Tight, twisted, like a knot you couldn’t untangle.

It wasn’t just the girls or the scrunchies or the way he’d disappear for days, leaving you with nothing but unanswered texts and half-assed explanations. It was you. How you felt around him. You were constantly second-guessing yourself, wondering if you were enough, if you were what he wanted. Things were so different before.

If you were even on his radar when you weren't right in front of him. And that feeling, that deep, gnawing insecurity? It was starting to mess with your head.

A week after the scrunchie incident, you found yourself at another one of those parties on Figure Eight. The kind where we Kooks pretend we're so much better than everyone else but still drink cheap beer out of red solo cups. It was the usual crowd—Topper, Kelce, a few other guys you barely knew, and, of course, Rafe.

You were wearing this black mini dress you knew he liked, the one that hugged your body in all the right places. You wanted to feel good tonight, like you could make him see you the way you needed him to. It was pathetic, but you thought if you played your cards right, maybe you'd get more than just half-hearted attention.

But then, halfway through the night, you saw her.

This girl—some random pogue you'd never seen before—leaning against the bar, laughing at something Rafe was saying. And it wasn’t just that he was talking to her. No, it was the way he was looking at her. That look he used to give you when you first started whatever this was between you two.

Like she was the most interesting thing in the room. Like she was the only thing. Even if she was wearing that cheap, threadbare tank top and worn-out jean shorts. The kind of clothes that screamed she probably worked at some surf shop or waited tables just to get by. And here Rafe was, cozying up to her like she was something special. Like she wasn’t just another girl he’d forget about tomorrow. Making yourself compare to someone like her.

You swallowed hard, your throat suddenly dry, your palms sweaty as you watched them. You could feel your heart sinking, your gut screaming at you to just leave. But you didn’t. You just stood there, like an idiot, frozen in place, watching him slide his hand up the back of her arm, a move so smooth, so practiced, it made you feel sick.

You hated this. Hated yourself. Hated that you let him have this kind of power over you.

Your mind did that annoying thing where it flashed back to the first time you slept with him. Like it wanted to torture you with every little detail of how you got here. You’d both been drunk, of course. But not blackout drunk—just the kind of buzzed where everything feels a little too easy, a little too warm.

You’d known Rafe forever, been best friends since you were kids. He was practically a part of you, or at least, he used to be. You trusted him, which is why when he showed up at your place that night, laughing about something stupid, you didn’t think twice when he crashed on your couch.

Only he didn’t stay on the couch.

You remember how he looked at you from across the room, that cocky smile he always wore, but softer somehow. Like he wasn’t quite sure if he was going to make a move. He’d leaned in, brushed his hand against your leg—casual, but not really. Your heart had pounded in your chest, but you didn’t stop him.

You didn’t want to stop him.

And when he kissed you? You were done for. All those years of being “just friends” went right out the window. It was like all the tension between you, all the unspoken stuff, just exploded. You were in his lap before you even realized what was happening, tugging at his shirt, pulling him closer.

You told yourself it didn’t mean anything—that it was just this one-time thing, a moment of weakness.

But Rafe… he knew how to get to you.

He made you feel like you were the only thing that mattered, even though you weren’t. You were just there, convenient. But at the time? You didn’t see it like that. You thought maybe this would change everything. That maybe the Rafe you’d grown up with was still in there somewhere, buried under all the coke, the girls, the chaos.

You were wrong.

It hurt. It hurt like hell. And the worst part was, you couldn’t even blame the girl. She probably had no idea who Rafe really was. She just saw the guy with the money, the smile, the charm.

Your throat tightened as he leaned in, saying something that made her laugh again. That same laugh he’d once pulled out of you. God, how could you be so stupid? You knew what he was. Hell, you’d known for years. But still, you’d let yourself get wrapped up in him, like maybe you’d be the exception. Like maybe you’d matter.

But you didn’t. You were just another girl he’d sweet-talk, mess with, and then forget about the second something new and shiny came along.

Topper came up beside you, nudging you with his shoulder. “You good?”

You blinked, tearing your eyes away from the scene in front of you and forcing a smile. “Yeah, totally. Just need another drink.” Your voice was light, casual, but inside, you were falling apart.

He gave you a weird look, but shrugged it off.

Guess everyone knew how you felt about Rafe. You weren't exactly subtle about it.

You downed another vodka soda, the burn doing nothing to numb the ache in your chest, and made a beeline for the back of the house.

You needed air. You needed to breathe.

You barely made it past the kitchen before you felt someone grab your wrist, pulling you into the hallway. You turned, expecting it to be some random guy, but no—it was Rafe. His grip was tight, a little too tight, and you could see the annoyance in his eyes.

“You’re leaving already?”

Rafe’s grip on your wrist was too tight, but it wasn’t like that surprised you anymore. It was always like this with him—one second, things were fine, and the next, you were stuck in this same stupid cycle of feeling small and stupid for caring.

“I just need some air,” you muttered, trying to pull away, but of course, he didn’t let go. His eyes flicked across your face like he was trying to figure out if you were actually upset or just being “dramatic,” which, spoiler alert, you weren’t.

“You’re not seriously mad about that girl, right?” His voice dripped with amusement, like your feelings were some kind of joke to him. He leaned in, lowering his voice like that was supposed to make you feel better. “It’s not that deep.”

It's hard to remember this used to be your best friend, before you two started whatever this game was and he decided you just weren't that girl to him anymore, just another body he could call up when he needed to get laid.

You stared at him, mouth dry, trying to figure out why you were even still standing here.

“Really?” You couldn’t help the sarcasm in your voice. “Because it kinda feels like it is.” You finally yanked your wrist free, stepping back just enough to get some space. “Do you even care? Like, do you even care that you’re making me feel like this?” You hated how your voice cracked, how vulnerable you sounded.

“We’ve just having fun,” Rafe just stared at you like you were overreacting. “I don’t get what the big deal is. Why are you always making this such a thing?”

Fun. God, that word made your stomach turn.

Fun for who? You knew what he meant, but hearing it out loud still stung. You’d been holding onto this hope, this ridiculous idea that maybe you were different, maybe he cared more. But it was so clear now. This wasn’t a relationship. This wasn’t even close.

“It’s a thing because it is a thing,” you said, voice shaky but steady enough. “I can’t just turn off my feelings like you do, Rafe. I can’t pretend it doesn’t hurt when I see you flirting with other girls like I don’t exist.”

He ran a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply. “You’re making this complicated. I never said we were serious. You knew what this was from the start.”

And there it was.

The slap of reality you’d been avoiding for way too long. He never said you were his, never promised you anything more than what he gave—a few nights here and there, some attention when it was convenient for him, but nothing real.

And you knew that. But it didn’t stop you from wanting more.

“But you still keep me around, don’t you?” you said quietly, mostly talking to yourself at this point. “You keep me close when it’s easy, when it’s fun for you. And I let you.”

God, that hurt to admit out loud. You let him make you feel like this. Over and over.

Rafe just stood there, completely unfazed. Like this was no big deal. He shrugged, and it made you want to scream. “If you’re so unhappy, then just leave.”

You stared at him, feeling your heart twist in your chest. How did it always come back to this? Him pushing you away like you didn’t mean anything. Like you weren’t standing right here, hurting. You searched his face for something—anything—that showed he actually gave a damn.

But there was nothing.

“Yeah,” you whispered, throat tight. “Maybe I should.”

Rafe blinked, staring at you like you’d just told him the sky was green. The moment you said “maybe I should,” it was like the words didn’t even register with him. He let out this half-laugh, half-scoff, eyebrows raised. “Wait—what? You’re not actually serious right now.”

You just stood there, trying to hold onto the last shred of whatever self-respect you had left, but his reaction made you feel like you were the crazy one. Like you weren’t the one who’d been dragged through the emotional wringer for months.

“I’m serious,” you said, keeping your voice as steady as possible, but inside? You were shaking. “I’m done.”

He shook his head, like you were talking nonsense. “C’mon, stop. You always say shit like this when you’re mad. You’ll cool off in a couple hours. You’re just… overreacting. Again.”

That word—overreacting—was like gasoline on the fire burning inside you.

“I’m not overreacting. I’m tired.” You swallowed the lump in your throat, feeling the weight of all the times you’d let him off the hook. “I’m tired of feeling like an idiot every time I care about you. Every time I think we might actually be something.”

He took a step closer, and you could smell the beer and expensive cologne clinging to him. “We are something,” he said, his tone softening just enough to sound almost genuine, like he believed it. “We have fun. You’re acting like I’m out here trying to hurt you or somethin'.”

“You don’t think you’re hurting me because you never even think about me in the first place,” you snapped, the words tumbling out before you could stop them. “You never even consider how any of this makes me feel, and that’s the problem. You don’t care.”

His jaw clenched, but he didn’t argue. He didn’t fight back like you half-expected him to. Instead, he just stared at you, confusion all over his face, like this was the first time he’d ever heard any of this.

“So what, you’re just gonna leave?” He asked it like it was the most ridiculous thing in the world. Like the concept of you actually walking away from him didn’t make any sense. “You’re not serious. You won’t actually leave.”

Your heart twisted at that—at how confident he was that you’d stay. That no matter how many times he messed up, no matter how many girls there were, or how many times he ghosted you, you’d always be right there, waiting. Because you always were. All your life.

He was so sure of it.

You felt your hands shake, and you hated that he still had that power over you. That even now, standing here in this stupid hallway at some stupid party, your heart was still fighting your brain, still wanting to hold onto him just a little bit longer.

But you couldn’t. Not anymore.

“Yeah, Rafe. I’m leaving.” The words came out firm, stronger than you even thought you were capable of right now. “I’m not playing this game with you anymore.”

For a second, something flickered in his eyes. Panic, maybe. Or maybe it was just the realization that he didn’t have you as locked down as he thought. “You’re really gonna walk away from this?” He gestured between the two of you, as if whatever this was had been so good, so untouchable. “Don’t be stupid.”

You let out a humorless laugh, shaking your head. “You think I’m the one being stupid? You’ve taken me for granted this whole time, and I was dumb enough to let you."

He just stood there, silent, looking like he didn’t even know how to answer. Because he didn’t. He never actually thought you’d go. He never thought you’d call him on his shit and mean it.

But you did. And now he was realizing it.

Without waiting for him to say another word, you turned and walked away, feeling like you could finally breathe for the first time in a long time. 

You barely made it a few steps before you heard him call after you. “Wait, hold on!”

You kept walking, forcing yourself to put one foot in front of the other. You knew if you stopped, if you even looked back at him, you’d get sucked right back in. But of course, Rafe wasn’t going to let it go that easy.

“Wait!” His voice was closer now, and before you could pick up the pace, he grabbed your arm—not harshly this time, just enough to make you stop. “Come on, don’t just walk away.”

You sighed, shutting your eyes for a second before turning around. “What, Rafe? What do you want me to say?” You were so exhausted from this, from him, from the constant back and forth. “I’m not doing this anymore.”

He let go of your arm, running a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated but trying to rein it in. “Can we just… talk about this? You’re pissed right now, and I get it, but you can’t just leave like this.”

“I can leave,” you shot back, crossing your arms over your chest defensively. “That’s literally what I’m doing."

He exhaled sharply, like he couldn’t believe this was happening. “You’re really just gonna throw everything away? After all this time?”

You stared at him, heart pounding in your chest. “What exactly am I throwing away? Huh? What have we even been lately? ’Cause from where I’m standing, all I’ve been doing is waiting around for you to decide if I’m worth more than just a random hookup whenever you feel like it.”

He winced at that, and for a second, you thought maybe—maybe—he’d get it. Maybe this would be the moment where he actually realized how badly he’d been screwing up. But instead, he went for the same excuse he always did.

“It’s not like that,” he said quickly, like that would erase everything. “You know I care about you, okay? We’ve known each other forever. You’re… important to me.”

“Important to you?” You laughed, but it wasn’t even close to funny. “If this is how you treat people who are ‘important’ to you, then I don’t even wanna know how you treat people who aren’t. Oh wait, I do know."

Rafe sighed, shifting his weight from foot to foot, like he was trying to figure out the right thing to say. “Look, I know I’ve messed up. But…Can we just, like, think about it for a second? Talk about it?”

You shook your head, feeling the frustration build again. “What is there to talk about? You only wanna have this conversation now because I’m actually leaving. You never wanted to talk about it before.”

He opened his mouth to argue, but you cut him off. “No, Rafe. You think I haven’t tried to bring this up? Every time I tell you how I feel, you brush me off. I’ve been bending over backwards, trying to make this work, and all I’ve gotten in return is you treating me like I’m an afterthought.”

Rafe frowned, his jaw tightening. “That’s not true. I’m here now, aren’t I? I’m trying to talk to you.”

“Because I’m walking away,” you shot back. “That’s the only reason you care right now—because you don’t wanna lose control. That’s what this is really about, isn’t it? You never actually thought I’d leave.”

He didn’t say anything, which pretty much told you everything you needed to know.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. “We used to be best friends. I knew you better than anyone, and you knew me. But I don’t even recognize you anymore. And honestly? I don’t recognize me when I’m around you either.” Your voice softened, "I deserve better than this. And you know it.”

For a second, he just stood there, looking at you like he was processing everything. His face wasn’t smug or arrogant anymore. He actually looked… lost. Maybe even scared. It was the first time you’d seen him drop the act in a long time, and for a split second, you felt that pull again—the one that always made you want to fix things, to make it better, to stay.

But you couldn’t do it this time. You couldn’t keep saving him at the expense of yourself.

“I don’t wanna lose you,” he finally said, his voice quieter, almost vulnerable. “You’re… you’re one of the only people who actually gets me. I don’t wanna lose that.”

That hit you right in the gut, because deep down, you didn’t wanna lose him either. He was right—you did know him better than anyone. But that didn’t change what he’d been putting you through. And just because he was scared of losing you didn’t mean he was ready to treat you the way you deserved to be treated.

“I don’t wanna lose you either,” you admitted, “But I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep being the girl you turn to when it’s convenient for you.”

He swallowed hard, eyes flicking down to the ground like he didn’t know what to say. And maybe he didn’t. Maybe he was finally realizing how badly he’d screwed this up.

You sighed, stepping back. “Look, I hope you figure your shit out. I really do. But I’m not sticking around to wait for that.”

You’d barely taken two steps when you heard him again, this time his voice quieter, almost desperate. “Wait—please. Just… don’t go.”

You paused, but you didn’t turn around. You were trying so hard to keep it together, to not let him see how badly this was wrecking you. Then he dropped the bomb.

“You’re the only thing keeping me sober.”

Your breath caught in your throat. Slowly, you turned back around, eyes wide. “What?”

He looked at you like he was begging you to understand, to stay. “I’m serious. Since I stopped using…you’re the only thing that’s been helping me hold it together. You leaving—it’s gonna fuck me up. You know that.”

Your heart twisted, hard. Of course he’d pull this now. You stared at him, “Are you fucking kidding me right now?” 

“I’m not lying,” He insisted, taking a step closer. “I swear. I’m trying to do better. You’re the reason I haven’t gone back to that shit. You’ve always been the one to pull me out of it, and if you leave—”

“Stop,” you snapped, holding up a hand. “Do you even hear yourself right now? You’re really trying to put this on me?” Your voice was rising, and you didn’t even care if people inside the party heard you. “You’re trying to make me responsible for you staying clean? Do you realize how fucked up that is?”

Rafe flinched, his expression shifting from desperate to defensive. “I’m just saying it how it is. You’ve helped me more than anyone else. You know that.”

“No,” you shot back, shaking your head in disbelief. “I’m not doing this. I’m not carrying that weight for you. That’s not fair, and you know it.”

He opened his mouth to argue, but you weren’t done. “You can’t just dump your problems on me and expect me to fix them. I’m not your therapist, and I’m definitely not your savior.” Your chest was heaving now, all the anger and hurt that had been building up for months finally spilling over. “You don’t get to use your sobriety as a leash to keep me here.”

His face fell at that, and for a split second, you saw a flash of guilt. But it wasn’t enough. “I’m not trying to manipulate you,” he said, though even he sounded unsure of his words now. “I just… I don’t know what else to do.”

“You don’t know what to do because you’ve never had to actually deal with the consequences of your actions,” you fired back. “You’ve always just said whatever you needed to say to keep people around. To keep me around.”

Rafe looked at you like he wanted to fight back, but the fight wasn’t there. Not this time. “That’s not what this is,” he muttered, but it sounded weak even to him.

You took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm inside you. “I’m glad you’re sober. I really am. But that’s not my responsibility. It never should’ve been.” You paused, feeling every word you were about to say. “If staying clean depends on me staying in your life, then you haven’t actually changed. You’ve just found a new addiction.”

He stared at you, and for the first time, he didn’t have a response. No cocky smirk, no empty promises. Just silence.

“I’m not gonna be your crutch anymore,” you said softly, the anger fading, replaced with a deep, painful sadness. “You need to get better for you, not for me. And if you can’t do that… then this was never gonna work anyway.”

Rafe’s shoulders slumped, and you could see the defeat in his eyes, like he was finally realizing that no matter what he said, this time you weren’t coming back.

“Please don’t do this,” he whispered, his voice barely audible. “I don’t know what I’ll do without you.”

You blinked back the tears that were starting to sting your eyes. “You’ll figure it out."

He was on his knees before you realized. Literally.

Your eyes widened in complete disbelief. “Rafe, what the hell are you doing?”

He wasn’t even looking at you anymore, just staring at the floor, hands running through his hair like he was about to lose it. “Please don’t leave. I’m begging you. I—I can’t… I don’t know what to do without you.”

You froze, staring at him like he’d lost his damn mind. Because maybe he had. What was this? You felt like you were watching some movie, except it was your life, and it wasn’t dramatic or romantic or whatever he thought it was. It was just… sad. And kind of terrifying.

“Get up.” Your voice wasn’t even loud—it was flat, emotionless. You didn’t even know what to feel anymore. “Rafe, seriously. Get the fuck up.”

He didn’t move.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, voice shaky. “I’m so fucking sorry. You’re all I’ve ever had, okay? Since we were kids, you’ve been the only person who’s ever stuck with me. Everyone else leaves. Everyone. But not you. You’ve always been there, no matter how much I’ve messed up.”

The words hit you like a punch to the gut because, deep down, they were true. You had always been there. Through everything. The good, the bad, and the absolute worst. And maybe that’s why it hurt so damn much now—because he’d taken that loyalty, that friendship, and twisted it into something ugly and unrecognizable.

“I can’t believe this,” you muttered, more to yourself than to him. “I seriously can’t believe you right now.” You shook your head, staring at him in disbelief. “You think this is gonna fix everything? You think getting on your knees and saying some bullshit is gonna make me forget all the times you hurt me?"

He looked up at you, his eyes glassy, and it almost made your heart break. Almost. But you weren't going to fall for it anymore. “I didn’t mean to take you for granted. I just—I never thought you’d actually leave. You never left before.”

“And that’s exactly why we’re here,” you snapped, “You always thought I’d stay, no matter how bad you treated me. You counted on it."

“I’m sorry,” he said again, voice cracking. “I know I fucked up. But I’ll do anything to fix it. Just tell me what to do, and I’ll do it. Please, just don’t go.”

You stared at him, the guy you’d known since forever, the one you’d stuck by when no one else did. The one you thought you could save, even though now you realized you couldn’t even save yourself when you were with him.

But this? Him on his knees? This wasn’t him fixing anything. This was him panicking, terrified that the one thing he’d taken for granted all these years was slipping away.

“I’m not the one who’s supposed to keep you alive. That’s on you. I’ve been there for you since we were six, and look where that’s gotten me. Look where that’s gotten us.”

His eyes were pleading, desperate, but you knew that if you stayed, this would keep happening. He would hurt you again, and you’d forgive him.

Because that’s what you did. That’s what you’d always done.

“I can’t keep being your safety net,” you whispered, feeling a lump rise in your throat. “You have to figure out who you are without me always picking up the pieces.”

He shook his head. “But I don’t know how.”

And that was the saddest part of all. He didn’t know how. He had no idea who he was without you constantly there to catch him when he fell. And you were tired of being the one holding him up while he pulled you down.

You took a deep breath, looking down at him—this broken, scared version of Rafe you never wanted to see.

“I’m sorry,” you said quietly, “but this? This isn’t love. This isn’t healthy. This is you being afraid of losing control. And I’m not gonna let you use me to keep your shit together anymore.”

His eyes filled with tears, and for a second, your heart ached. Because yeah, you loved him once. Maybe you still did in some messed-up way. But love wasn’t supposed to feel like drowning.

“I hope you get better,” you said, taking a step back. “I really do. But I can’t be a part of this anymore.”

And for the first time in your life, you were the one to walk away.

[jungwnies]

sfw alphabet | lando norris

୨ৎ : synopsis : sfw a-z alphabet for lando norris ୨ৎ : word count : 993

୨ৎ : requested : @catherine4631610

(a/n) : don't forget to like & reblog !! my requests are open!

a ⤖ affection (how affectionate is he? how often does he show affection?)

probably quite affectionate, but in a playful, teasing way.

lots of nudges, silly faces, and casual touches rather than constant grand gestures.

b ⤖ beginning (what would he be like as a bsf; how would the friendship start?)

friendship would likely start with some shared interest - gaming, maybe?

he seems like someone who values genuine connection and shared humor. you'd probably roast each other constantly.

c ⤖ cuddles (does he like to cuddle; how would he cuddle?)

enjoys cuddling but might get a bit restless.

he'd probably prefer being the little spoon surprisingly, or a tangled mess of limbs.

d ⤖ domestic (does he want to settle down; how good is he at cooking and cleaning?)

seems like he'd be open to settling down eventually, but not in a rush.

cooking and cleaning? he'd try his best, but might need some "encouragement" (aka, you taking the lead).

e ⤖ ending (if he had to break up with you; how would he do it?)

he'd try to be honest and kind, but might struggle with direct communication.

there's a chance he'd overthink it and make things a bit awkward.

f ⤖ fiance (how does he feel about commitment; would he want to get married quick?)

commitment might take time, but once he's in, he's all in.

he wouldn't rush into marriage, but wouldn't shy away from it either when the time is right.

g ⤖ gentle (how gentle is he; emotionally + physically?)

generally gentle, both physically and emotionally.

he seems to have a good heart and wouldn't intentionally hurt someone he cares about.

h ⤖ hugs (does he likes hugs; how often does he hug you; what are his hugs like?)

hugs are probably a regular occurrence.

playful squeezes, side hugs, and maybe the occasional bear hug when he's feeling extra affectionate.

i ⤖ i love you (how fast does he say he loves you?)

he might take a while to say it, wanting to be sure of his feelings first.

but once he does, he'd mean it wholeheartedly.

j ⤖ jealousy (how jealous does he get; what does he do when he is jealous?)

probably not overly jealous, but might get a bit competitive if he feels threatened.

he'd likely express jealousy through playful teasing rather than anger.

k ⤖ kisses (what are his kisses like; where does he like to kiss you; where does he like to be kissed?)

kisses would be a mix of sweet and playful.

forehead kisses, quick pecks, and longer, more passionate kisses when the moment is right.

he might have a thing for kissing your nose.

l ⤖ little ones (how is he around children?)

seems like he'd be great with kids, patient and playful. (i mean we've all seen him with penelope and how much she loves seeing him)

he'd probably make silly faces and get involved in imaginative games.

m ⤖ morning (how are mornings spent with him?)

mornings would be relaxed and playful.

lots of sleepy cuddles and maybe some friendly banter before getting the day started.

n ⤖ night (how are nights spend with him?)

evenings would be a mix of chilling out and having fun.

gaming sessions, movie nights, or just chatting and laughing together.

n ⤖ open (when would he open up; does he say everything at once or does he wait to reveal himself?)

he might take a while to fully open up, but once he trusts you, he'd be honest and vulnerable.

he'd likely reveal himself gradually over time.

p ⤖ patience (how easily angered is he?)

seems fairly patient, but can be competitive and might get frustrated during intense moments.

he'd likely try to manage his anger constructively.

q ⤖ quizzes (how much would he remember about you; does he remember every little detail; or is he forgetful?)

he'd probably remember the important things about you, but might miss some of the smaller details.

he'd make an effort to pay attention, though.

r ⤖ remember (what is his favorite moment in the relationship?)

his favorite memory would likely be a shared adventure or a moment of genuine connection and laughter.

something unique to your relationship, like an inside joke or something.

s ⤖ security (how protective is he; how does he protect you; how would he like to be protected?)

protective in a subtle way, making sure you feel safe and comfortable.

he'd appreciate someone who can be both independent and supportive.

t ⤖ try (how much effort does he put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

he'd put effort into the things that matter to you, but might not always be the most traditional romantic.

expect thoughtful gestures and quality time over grand displays.

y ⤖ ugly (what are some of his bad habits?)

might be a bit messy and prone to leaving things lying around.

he could also get overly competitive at times.

v ⤖ vanity (how concerned is he with his looks?)

he probably cares about his appearance to some extent, as most people in the public eye do.

but it wouldn't be his defining trait.

w ⤖ whole (would he feel incomplete without you?)

he'd definitely value your relationship and see you as an important part of his life.

but he also seems like someone who values his independence.

x ⤖ xtra (random headcanon for him)

he probably has a secret stash of silly socks and loves to wear them when no one's looking.

y ⤖ yuck (what are some things he wouldn't like; in general or in a partner?)

dishonesty and negativity would be major turn-offs.

he'd also likely dislike drama and people who take themselves too seriously.

he always needs a good laugh so he would hate someone who didn't match his energy tbh.

z ⤖ zzz (what are his sleeping habits?)

he's probably a restless sleeper, tossing and turning throughout the night.

might even talk in his sleep occasionally!

2021-2024 © jungwnies on tumblr | All rights reserved. Do not repost, plagiarize, or translate.

[yunsbunnie]

eiffel towering with bf!sunghoon and his bsf!jake

pairing : bf!sunghoon x fem!reader x jake | warnings : smut, threesome, oral (m), name calling (slut), kissing (mxm + fxm), spit, profanity, !not shipping jakehoon! | wc : 1001 | note : eiffel towering w jakehoon? 😋 also another question… what do yall think about double pen, hm? jakehoon again or maybe heehoon? lmk and i’ll do my best <3

“fuck- you’re doing s’good baby-“ sunghoon tried his hardest to stop himself from thrusting forward into your palm in a futile attempt to get more friction from your tongue.

all your attention was on the tip of his cock, your tongue alternating between swirling figure eights and suctioning your lips around his most sensitive spot. 

your eyes blinked away the tears from the pleasure coming from behind you, your ass raw from the way jake kept smacking against it.

you were doing a fairly good job at teasing your needy boyfriend considering the current state that your mind was forced into, a mixture of submissiveness with the perfect amount of dominance. 

you arched your bark further for the man behind you- allowing him with a new angle that enabled him to push in deeper. the new angle not only allowed him to reach deeper, but it also made it earlier for him to thrust in faster.

jake could see the way you were teasing sunghoon and as much as he loved to watch it, he knew the other man needed more. and so jake moved his hands from its resting position on your ass and pushed his palms into the curve of your back, his fingers wrapping around your body in a way that made it easier to pull you back into him.

the first time jake pulled you against him you’d bounced back even harder, sunghoon’s entire length pushing down your throat. 

sunghoon let out a choked whimper when a harsh gag vibrated up his cock, the new suction making him nearly lose his mind. his legs shook from beneath him when your body was pushed forward again- except this time your nose was met with his lower stomach. 

sunghoon heard a quiet chuckle and snapped his head up towards jake, their eyes meeting and sharing a known look before they both pushed forward again.

instead of pulling you back against him, jake used his hold on you to keep you still. your body was held in a constant state which made it easier for both boys to share you between them. 

“you look so pretty for jakey, it’s such a shame that he can’t see it from back there.” sunghoon pouted down at your tear-streaked cheeks with a newfound lust, your tears glistening the same way your cunt did when he railed you from behind. 

his gaze then moved to your lips, the sight making him cock twitch in your warm mouth. spit was practically dripping from the corners of your lips, small bubbles rushing out with each thrust he pushed in.

he wrapped one of his hands around the base of his dick, his fingers wrapping around it as he slowly pulled himself out. 

his mouth watered when strings of your spit came out with it, his cock was completely coated in your saliva. there were strings that were still attached to your lips that reflected on the overhead light. 

“fuck, that’s so hot.” sunghoon looked back up at jake only to see that his eyes were attached on the strings connecting your body to his. jakes lip was pulled between his teeth while his thrusts grew faster. 

“i wish i could taste it, i bet she tastes so fucking sweet.” sunghoon looked back at you and the fucked out expression on your face, “dirty fucking slut liked that, didn’t she? pussy tightening on my cock in front of your boyfriend.” 

it was shameless, but it was light work compared to what sunghoon offered the man after his words slipped through him. “you want to try it jakey?” jake’s eyes were wide in confusion, “how?”

sunghoon didn’t verbally answer jake’s question but instead he connected his mouth with yours. he swirled his tongue around yours the same way you did to his cock earlier, your shared taste entering his mouth as he sucked your tongue between his lips.

it was dirty. your spit collecting on his chin as it moved against yours- your messiness transferring onto his now damp skin. loud smacks replaced the notices your mouth was making earlier, sunghoon practically eating your lips as he took everything you had to offer- but it wasn’t his offer to accept.

sunghoon pulled back after a few minutes, his eyes low as he stared at your swollen lips. “so pretty.” he whispered just loud enough for you to hear before he leaned forward again. but instead of kissing you he stuck out his tongue instead, his nose ghosting yours as he licked a swipe across your lips. 

“ready to taste her, baby?” jake didn’t have time to process what sunghoon had asked- or called him, before sunghoon’s lips were on his.

jake’s body responded before his mind did- his lips following the rhythm that sunghoon had set. the kiss lasted at most twenty seconds before sunghoon pulled away, the strings of spit mirroring the ones that once hung on his cock. 

“open your mouth.” jake’s eyes were heavy hooded with excitement when he opened his mouth, his tongue slightly poking out when sunghoon’s fingers wrapped around his throat. 

sunghoon gathered the spit in his mouth before dropping it into jake’s- an audible sound leaving jake’s throat while his eyes fluttered closed. sunghoon’s fingers moving higher up his throat before he forced his jaw to close, “it’s sweet, hm?” 

he used his own hand to nod the boys head in agreement, a satisfied hum leaving his lips as he felt the boy swallow beneath his hand. 

“her pussy tastes even better.” jake’s eyes were snapped open again when he was forced out of you and onto his knees, his eyes leveled with your gushing cunt. 

jake titled his head up to look at sunghoon once and at the younger boy's nod of approval he looked back down towards your clenching cunt. “don’t keep my baby waiting.” 

and jake had to agree, the taste of your cunt was way better than the taste of your spit mixed with his best friends. 

[yaniluvs]

୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ ⌇ 리노 : YOU LOVE RAIN, I LOVE YOU ── studying in the uni's library with your best friend on a rainy day, who despises getting wet, like a literal cat. however, plans change.

𓍯 bsf!leeknow ʚଓ fem!reader ：（ 𝒾 ） 3.3k ── ༯ ONESHOT, uni au, tsundere x sunshine, fluff, slow paced, comfort, petnames, free ending, bickering, free ending, idiots in looovvee. ⸝⸝𓂃 LiBRARY . /ᐠ.ꞈ.ᐟ\ྀིྀི

yani's note ˖˙ ᰋ and she's alive y'all. happy birthday to my cutie patootie lil' kitten rino >3< comments, likes and reblogs are always appreciated ! happy reading <3

y/n had always loved the rain. 

it poured over the town like a soft lullaby, softening the edges of buildings and trees, cloaking everything in a quiet serenity that calmed her restless heart. 

oh, how it fell without hesitation, bold yet calming, casting a peaceful blur over the colors around her. it was as though every droplet held a piece of the town’s secrets, whispering them in hushed tones to anyone who dared to listen.

in the university’s library, her thoughts floated with the rhythm of the rain against the glass, far from the textbook that lay open but untouched before her. the shelves towered around her, each one a guardian of knowledge, but her attention drifted, flitting like a restless bird. 

she watched as droplets cascaded down the window beside her, blurring the shapes of people passing outside and muting the lively colors of umbrellas. the town outside seemed softer, wrapped in a cocoon of gray mist.

the lady was a bright spark against this stillness, a warmth that radiated quietly as her gaze followed the streaks of rain across the windowpane. 

she fidgeted with a loose thread on her beige sweater, flipping her pen in her fingers, letting her mind wander. 

the quiet library seemed to mirror another person’s presence beside her — calm and steady, unruffled by her little flares of energy that rippled across the tranquility.

it had been pouring for nearly an hour, the soft patter of water on the library windows a soothing backdrop to his quiet focus. 

minho’s focus, unwavering and cool, contrasted her own, a constant rhythm in the background of her daydreams. he sat across from her at their usual table, bent over his notes with a slight frown as he tried to concentrate on the assignment. he was meticulous, reading every line twice, tapping his pen in a steady rhythm. 

her, on the other hand, had long since given up pretending to work.

she was stretched out in her chair, head tipped back as she lazily flipped through a book she wasn’t really reading. every so often, she would sigh dramatically, looking over at the guy with big, pleading eyes, hoping he’d say something to break the monotony.

he didn’t look up. instead, he fixed his glasses, pushing the thin, black frame up the bridge of his nose. 

“you’re not helping by sighing every five seconds, you know.”

“maybe i would help if it wasn’t the most boring assignment in the universe,” she whined, drumming her fingers on the table.

he rolled his eyes, still focused on his paper. “just do your part, and it’ll be done faster.”

“or,” she frowned, glancing around as if conspiring, “i could just watch you do it. you’re so good at it, min.” she tilted her head, giving him a teasing smile.

he gave her a blank stare. “flattery won’t make me finish your work too.”

with a defeated sigh, she pushed herself out of the library’s velvet chair, eyes lighting up as she spotted the vending machine near the exit. 

“okay, well… at least let me get us some snacks. we both need a break.”

“yeah, sure,” he muttered, eyes never leaving his notes.

the girl practically skipped over to the machine, fumbling for change in her bag. 

she pressed a few buttons, deciding on snacks, but after a clunky whirr, the machine swallowed her coins without dropping anything. 

she tapped it, then tapped it again, her brows furrowing as she gave the machine a light kick.

oh screw you, stupid machine. 

from across the room, the only other guy looked up, already smirking. 

“you’re going to break it.”

she turned, shooting him a mock glare with a dissatisfied frown. 

“it literally swallowed all my pennies? it owes me a snack!”

he snorted, barely hiding his annoyance yet nonchalance. “that’s the third machine you’ve broken this semester. weren’t you banned from them by the council president or something?”

“you mean jihoon? please, he was only making small talk.”she rolled her eyes, turning back to the machine to shake it gently. “i just have bad luck with vending machines. they hate me.”

“maybe they’re scared of you,” he hugged, finally leaning back in his chair, watching her with a smirk, his arms folding behind his head. “they know you’re trouble.”

she gasped, turning back to face him with feigned hurt. “you’re mean.” 

“maybe i won’t share my snacks with you now.”

he rolled his eyes, switching back to work. “like i asked for them in the first place.”

“oh, i know you’ll want them,” she replied, sticking her tongue out at him before giving the machine one last exasperated look. 

she returned to their table empty-handed, pouting as she flopped back into her seat.

“done causing a scene?” he asked, raising an eyebrow as he glanced over his notes at her.

“done ignoring me?” she replied back, folding her arms with a small huff. 

but even as she pouted, she was smiling, knowing full well that he was secretly enjoying every second of her company, even if he pretended otherwise.

“can you try to focus for like at least five minutes without moving around?”

“fine,” she said, leaning her chin on her hand, staring at him rather than her paper. 

she watched him as he scribbled notes, his brows drawn together in concentration, glasses fogging up slightly as he breathed out in annoyance, his lips pressed into a faint line. 

for all his grumbling, he was focused, diligent, and..

oh, so attractive. 

there was something calming about watching him work, even if she’d never let him know how much she admired him.

she lost track of time until her gaze drifted toward the window. her eyes lit up at the sight of the rain pouring down, after having paused for a few minutes, the drops streaking the glass and creating a soft, blurred glow in the library.

“it’s raining again,” she whispered, more to herself than him.

“yeah?” he didn’t look up, his voice absent-minded.

“mhm!” she beamed, getting up from the chair to walk towards the closed window a few steps away. 

the window was slightly foggy from the inside because the dew. seeing that, her fingers immediately found their way onto the glass, drawing patterns. 

it was as if all her worries were just.. gone, for that time. as if she was a child once again. 

it was raining, and she was experiencing it again with the guy. 

the same guy that had never left her side.

the same rainy day with him that marked into one of her favourite days. 

because it was with that same guy that she fell in love with.

then her focus was interrupted when she heard his voice again.

“done admiring the weather, pretty? you’ve got an assignment to finish.”

she felt his eyes on her, and it drew her back to reality. her ears turned red almost instantly, then she was turning with an embarrassed face. “you were staring.” she mumbled, skipping back over to the table. 

“yeah, i was. you noticed?”

“what?” her eyes widened, pupils dilating a bit, as she sat back down, hiding her gaze into the notebook. 

“nothing.” he grinned. 

sigh.

‘you noticed?’ 

sorry, is he seriously flirting with me right now?

does he even know the control he has on my heart?

might fall off a cliff you guys ; i’m done with this sappy monologue. 

moving on. 

“minho, do you ever think about how every raindrop is like… a little memory? like, it falls from the sky, touches the ground, and just… disappears.”

“but for that second, it’s part of something bigger, you know?”

the guy simply blinked at the randomness and suddenness of the excitement. 

barely lifting his gaze from his notes, he replied, “right.. raindrops with memory loss. very poetic.”

ignoring his remarks, she continued, leaning forward. “no— like think about it! like, the rain touches everyone’s life at least once. we’re all connected by it in a way.” she paused, “don’t you think that’s amazing?”

“fascinating,” he murmured, not missing a beat, though she could see the faintest hint of a smile tugging at his lips.

undeterred by his lack of ‘enthusiasm’, the girl professionally yapped on. 

“and then, once the rain dries up, it’s like it leaves a little piece of itself behind. kind of like how memories leave marks on us even when the moment’s gone.”

minho finally looked up, shaking his head as he looked at her with squinted eyes. “only you would find romance in rain puddles.”

“hey, maybe i am, it’s.. deep, i guess. you’re just a boring cynic, minho. no imagination.”

“or maybe i just save my imagination for things that don’t involve the simplest scenes of life.” he gave her a look, but his smile softened as he watched her.

“simplest but prettiest.”

“and, oh, today in class, the english professor went on this entire rant about using semicolons correctly, and i swear he’s obsessed. every time someone writes a comma instead, it’s like they’ve committed a crime.”

he simply nodded, a small smile tugging at his lips, letting her continue without interruption. 

her words flowed like the rain, nonstop and bright, filling the air between them. she was all sunshine, chattering about everything and nothing at once, her eyes lighting up with each new tangent.

“dude and— did you know,” she leaned closer, “that the library has a secret stash of old, out-of-print books? like, they’re hidden on a shelf way in the back. i found one with all these handwritten notes in the margins. it’s like someone’s personal journal was left behind.”

the overachiever just listened, nodding and throwing in a casual “really?” or “no way,” watching her grow more animated with each word. 

he wasn’t paying much attention to what she was saying; but, he was captivated by the way she said it. her hands gestured wildly, her eyes sparkled, and her whole face lit up. 

she was mesmerizing, an endless source of energy and light.

eventually, her words started to trail off, and her lids grew heavy, her sentences getting slower and softer. 

“and earlier when i was at the park, i followed this little dragonfly.. who kept circling around.. me.. “

she slumped forward, head resting on her folded arms, a sleepy smile lingering on her lips, “..and it lead me deeper into the garden..”

and with a yawn, she drifted off. minho sat there, unfazed, quietly watching her, his gaze softening with affection. 

the rain outside continued its gentle rhythm, as if lulling her into a peaceful sleep.

he leaned back, letting his pen fall silently to the table, and took a long, steady look at her. her brown hair cascaded over her arms, and her expression was calm, completely at peace. there was a faint smile still tugging at the corners of her mouth.

with a fond sigh, he gently reached for the soft strands of her hair that framed her face, pushing one behind her ear, then leaned back to simply watch her. 

the rain continued to fall, casting a soft glow over her face, and he knew this was one of those moments he’d hold onto forever.

his gaze only softened further as he watched her sleep, her breathing gentle and even, the faintest rise and fall of her shoulders barely noticeable in the soft light of the library.

he tilted his head, studying the way her hair framed her face, how a the other few strands had fallen messily across her cheeks. 

there was something innocent in her stillness, like the world hadn’t yet touched her with its harsher edges. he had known her for years, through her loud days and quiet ones, but this — seeing her so open, so vulnerable, even in sleep — felt like a privilege, like he was witnessing a secret she didn’t even know she held. although this may be the hundredth time he’s seeing her like this, but she never fails to lull him more each time. 

“why do you have to be so.. stupidly adorable..?”

the words slipped out in a gentle whisper, almost swallowed by the rain. his gaze fixed onto her face, tracing each curve, the eyelids, the eyelashes, the nose, the pink lips. 

but immediately as he realised, he froze, his eyes darting to her face, heart pounding in sudden panic. 

had she heard him? 

her breathing remained even, her lips barely parted in sleep, and his own breath released in a silent sigh of relief.

minho leaned back, exhaling, his eyes drifting over her with a gaze that was softer, deeper. he knew he was gone for her — completely and utterly. 

no amount of teasing or sarcasm could hide it, especially not now, as he sat in this dim, cozy corner of the library with only her and the rain to keep him company.

he felt a quiet ache settle in his chest, the kind that was bittersweet. this was the girl who had grown up by his side, whose love for books and late-night study sessions was matched only by her passion for music, her endless playlists and handwritten lyrics tucked between notebooks. 

she was everything he admired and everything he was afraid to lose, wrapped into one.

his fingers reached out instinctively, but he stopped, hand hovering just above her resting one. 

he could imagine her waking up to his touch, the way she’d crinkle her nose and blink sleepily, maybe even tease him for “staring like a lovesick fool,” which was exactly what he was — but that’s not the point. 

he couldn’t help it, though; her light pulled him in every time, scattering his carefully guarded walls like raindrops hitting a still lake.

but instead of waking her, he let his hand drop gently, leaning back to watch her for a moment longer, his heart a little fuller, a little softer, because of her. 

and only her. 

she’d wake up soon, annoying and bright, blinding the eye, and he’d be ready with another roll of the eyes, heartstrings tugging down. 

yet deep down, in a place he never let her see, he knew the truth; that she was his every reason, his brightest light in all the dim places.

and as the rain drizzled down, casting faint reflections across the window, he knew that for him, every raindrop from here on out would hold a little bit of her.

y/n had always loved the rain. 

to her, it wasn’t just water cascading from the sky but a reminder of everything raw and alive in the world. 

the clouds, heavy with unshed emotions, poured out their burdens as if inviting her to do the same. 

there was a release in it, a beauty. she could stand in it, close her eyes, feel it washing over her, and for a moment, all her worries would dissolve.

so, when the downpour was still continuing while she and minho were done at the university’s grand library, she didn’t reach for her umbrella like he did. 

there they were, standing at the entrance of the library, once again, and she stepped out on to the wet cobblestone path. 

her eyes drift upward to watch the raindrops falling from the grey skies. 

a soft smile tugged at her lips as she tilted her head back, letting the rain soak her skin, drenching her clothes and weighing her hair down. 

she laughed — a light, airy sound that blended with the rhythm of the rain.

minho, on the other hand, was leaning against the pillar of the library’s entrance, watching her. 

he sighed, fidgeting with the buttons of his umbrella, opening it with a click and stepping out as well. he raised an eyebrow, holding it over his own head, while the raindrops danced off its edges.

“are you seriously gonna stand and dance there like an idiot?”

“yes,”

unfazed, the girl twirled around, arms open to embrace the downpour. “it’s beautiful.”

“it’s wet,” he grumbled, his lips curling into a barely-there smirk as he watched her spin, her joy illuminating her like a halo under the dim light of the streetlamps. 

but the sight of her so lost in the rain, so… free, it did that thing to his chest — once again. 

she stepped out of the umbrella’s reach, that he tried to cover her with, ignoring the way he shook his head at her. 

“you could at least try to enjoy it,” she said, smiling. her eyes sparkled, glancing at him over her shoulder, as if daring him to join her.

he rolled his eyes, holding the umbrella closer to himself as if it were a shield from her infectious energy. “enjoy what? getting sick? no thanks.”

“suit yourself.” she shrugged, but she was still smiling as she returned to her little rain dance, not caring how soaked she was getting. 

each step she took felt lighter, and she almost forgot minho was even there, watching her from under the safety of his umbrella.

and he was watching her, unable to look away. 

she looked… ethereal, like something out of a dream he’d be too proud to admit he’d had. the way her laugh rose above the rain, soft and unburdened, made his heart ache in a way he would never, ever admit to anyone.

but he knew he’d regret it if he didn’t do something. with a resigned sigh, he closed the umbrella, letting the rain drench him in an instant. 

“you’re such a pain, you know that?” he muttered, striding over to her with a faux scowl on his face, shuddering slightly at the contact of the cold droplets hitting over his figure. 

she paused mid-spin, startled to find him suddenly standing in the rain with her. 

“minho, what are you doing? you’ll get soaked!”

“it’s a little late for that, genius,” he deadpanned, shoving his now-useless, foldable umbrella into his pocket. 

but his eyes softened as he looked at her, something unspoken hidden behind his steady gaze.

her laughter quieted, her gaze locking with his in the middle of the rain-soaked street. 

there was a weight in his stare, something she couldn’t quite name. “i thought you hated getting wet?”

“i do,” he replied, his voice low, rough around the edges. “but… sometimes you make it hard to stick to my rules.”

she felt her cheeks warm despite the chill of the rain, her heart thudding in her chest. “oh yeah? and what rule am i breaking now?” she paused in her tracks, staring at him right back. 

he didn’t answer immediately. instead, he just held her gaze, studying her with that intense look that always left her breathless. 

his hand came up, almost on its own, brushing a raindrop from her cheek with the back of his fingers, lingering just a second too long. 

he cleared his throat, pulling his hand back quickly as if he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t.

“never mind,” he mumbled, a faint blush coloring his cheeks. “it’s nothing.”

she bit back a smile, savoring the rare vulnerability in his expression. “you’re really something, you know that?”

“oh, shut up,” he grumbled, but there was no bite in his voice, only a soft resignation. 

he reached down, taking her hand in his own, his fingers gentle but firm around hers. 

“you’re going to catch pneumonia if you stay like this for longer.”

she blinked, startled by the sudden contact. 

but minho just kept walking, his fingers still laced with hers as they stepped through the rain-soaked street, side by side. her heart stuttered, a thousand questions running through her mind, but she didn’t say a word. 

she was content just to feel the warmth of his hand in hers, even if he’d never admit why he did it.

as they walked together, silent but for the rain, she glanced at him, catching a hint of a smile tugging at his lips as he stared straight ahead. for all his complaints, for all his grumbling, he was still here with her, getting drenched in the rain simply because she loved it.

and that, she realised, was more than enough.

[strangevynl]

NOTICE | k.sm x reader

nerdyboycrush!seungmin x bsf!reader

warnings: eating disorders | anorexia | angst | one sided love.

—————

Seungmin was the epitome of "cool," though not in the traditional sense. He wasn't the jock, nor the rebellious bad boy, but there was something magnetic about him. With his glasses perched perfectly on his nose, messy but somehow deliberate hair, and sharp wit, Seungmin had the rare ability to be both the smartest kid in class and the one everyone wanted to be around. It didn’t hurt that his quiet demeanor gave him an air of mystery that only added to his allure.

Everyone knew Seungmin, and, naturally, everyone had a crush on him. Girls from every corner of the school would flock to him, hoping for his attention. Some flirted, others tried to offer help with his studies, but Seungmin’s eyes—those expressive brown eyes—always seemed to drift toward someone else.

And that someone else was “you.”

You had been best friends with Seungmin since middle school, and somehow, over the years, your friendship had deepened. He was the person you could laugh with, vent to, or simply sit in comfortable silence with. Yet, no matter how long you had known him, no matter how often you walked beside him between classes, he never seemed to see you the way everyone else did. He saw you as his best friend. His "just friend."

Meanwhile, every girl in school—whether it was the popular cheerleader, the shy new transfer student, or the class president—would make it a point to talk to Seungmin. They’d ask him questions about assignments, casually compliment him, or simply drop by his locker to chat. You couldn’t help but notice how his face would light up when they spoke to him. He was always so kind to them, so patient, so *interested.* And no matter how much you told yourself you were happy just being his friend, it stung every single time.

One day, as the two of you sat under the big oak tree in the school courtyard during lunch, a girl from your class—Hannah, who was known for having a sharp eye for cute boys—walked up to Seungmin. She had a flirty smile on her face and, without skipping a beat, leaned over to say something that made Seungmin laugh.

You sat there, pretending not to notice the slight tightening in your chest. You focused on your half-eaten sandwich, not wanting to give away how affected you were. But as you took a bite, you couldn’t help but glance up at Seungmin.

And, of course, his eyes were on her. He was looking at Hannah like she was the only person in the world, his smile widening as she said something else. You could almost hear the unspoken words in his expression, his interest in her so obvious it made your heart ache. For a brief second, his eyes flickered to you, but it was just a glance, a fleeting moment before his attention returned to Hannah.

You looked down at your hands, willing the heat that had rushed to your cheeks to subside. “It’s fine,”you told yourself. “You’re his best friend, and that's enough.”

But deep down, it wasn’t enough.

🎐…..

A week later, you were walking to your next class when you bumped into him in the hallway. Seungmin’s eyes widened in surprise, and he quickly adjusted his backpack strap, offering you a sheepish smile.

“Oh, hey, I didn’t see you there,” he said, his voice warm and familiar, just like it always was.

You managed a tight smile, trying to act like you weren’t just thinking about his constant attention toward other girls. “Hey,” you replied, glancing up at him.

“Hey, are you alright? You look a little… distracted,” he said, his brow furrowing in concern. You could tell he was genuine, but you also knew he didn’t understand what you were feeling. He never did.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you said quickly, shaking it off. “Just… thinking about stuff. You know how it is.”

Seungmin nodded, oblivious to the weight of the unspoken words between you. "Right, right. So, I was wondering if you wanted to study together later? I’m trying to get ahead in physics. I know you’re like, the best at it.”

You hesitated. The offer made your chest swell with warmth because, for a moment, it felt like you weren’t just his "friend"—you were something more. “But am I?”you thought, shaking the doubt out of your head.

"Yeah, that sounds good," you said, your voice steady despite the storm of emotions in your chest. "I’ll meet you at your place after school.

As Seungmin gave you one of his genuine, effortless smiles, you tried to ignore the ache inside. You were his best friend, and you’d always be there for him. But sometimes, just sometimes, you wished that the way he looked at you could be the same way he looked at everyone else.

The study session later that day was almost painfully normal. You sat next to Seungmin at his desk, working through problems in physics like you always did. But this time, you couldn’t stop thinking about the way his eyes lit up whenever another girl walked into the room. His smile was easy, effortless. His attention was easy to earn, if you were a little more than just a friend.

By the end of the session, as you packed up your things, you felt a knot in your stomach. Seungmin didn’t notice, of course. He never did. He was too busy asking if you wanted to grab a snack or if you were free for a movie on the weekend.

But as he smiled at you, a little too wide this time, a quiet voice whispered in your heart: “Maybe this time, he’ll see you differently. Maybe, just maybe, one day, he will.”

But until then, you’d be right by his side, even if he couldn’t see the feelings you kept hidden behind the smile.

🎐….

Days turned into weeks, and your growing distance from Seungmin became more apparent, even to you. You didn’t spend as much time with him after school, no more study sessions or spontaneous trips to the convenience store. He tried to reach out a few times, but you brushed him off with excuses. “I’m tired,” you’d say. “I have a lot of homework.” It wasn’t like you were lying; it was just that the homework had become the perfect excuse to hide from him, to hide from everything.

You felt safer alone in your room, away from the world that reminded you of everything you weren’t.

The weight loss continued, and soon your clothes hung loosely from your frame, the reflection in the mirror becoming harder and harder to recognize. Your ribs were more pronounced now, your arms thinner, your face sharper. For a fleeting moment, you thought you might actually be happy with the changes. Maybe if you could just get thinner, *prettier,* then maybe—just maybe—someone like Seungmin would finally look at you the way you’d always hoped.

But deep down, you knew the truth. It wasn’t just about your body it was about the part of you that had been slowly fading away, trying to fit into a mold you were never meant to. You’d been chasing something you’d never get, and each pound you lost felt like a part of your soul slipping away with it.

🎐….

One afternoon, while sitting alone at lunch in the library, you heard footsteps approaching. Your heart sank when you looked up and saw Seungmin standing there, his gaze soft but filled with something you couldn’t quite place. You hadn’t seen him in a while, and he seemed different somehow—distant, like he wasn’t sure how to approach you anymore.

“Hey,” he said, his voice tentative. “Mind if I sit with you?”

You bit your lip, forcing yourself to smile. “Of course.” It was a hollow gesture, though, and you both knew it.

Seungmin slid into the seat across from you, setting his lunch tray down with a small clink. He didn’t start eating right away. Instead, he just looked at you, his eyes tracing your face in a way that made you uncomfortable.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” he said, his tone neutral, but there was a tightness around his jaw. “I know I haven’t been the best at… well, understanding, but I thought we were still friends. I thought we could talk about anything.”

You didn’t know how to respond. The words that had been boiling inside you for weeks were stuck in your throat, the anger and hurt mixing with a deep sadness you didn’t know how to explain. You wanted to shout at him, tell him how much his rejection had destroyed you, how much it still hurt every time he laughed with another girl, how much you wished you could just be someone he could care for the way you cared for him.

But instead, you just stared at him, your fingers fidgeting with the corner of your book.

“I’m fine, Seungmin,” you said, repeating the lie you’d been telling yourself for months. “I’ve just been… busy.”

He frowned, leaning in slightly. “I don’t believe you,” he said softly. “You’re not fine. I can tell.”

You could feel the heat rise in your face, a mixture of guilt and frustration. You wanted to snap at him, to tell him to mind his own business. But you couldn’t. You just couldn’t.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you said quickly, the words rushed, almost pleading.

Seungmin looked at you for a long moment, his eyes searching your face. You could see the concern in them, but you couldn’t bear to face it. The last thing you wanted was for him to pity you.

“I’m worried about you,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “You’ve changed. And I don’t think it’s just because of school.”

You froze. There was no way he could know. He couldn’t know the lengths you’d gone to in order to change yourself, to try and fit into some version of “perfect”that you knew wasn’t even real.

“I’m fine,” you repeated, this time your voice firmer, even though your heart was breaking. “Just leave it alone, Seungmin. Please.”

His expression softened, but there was still a flicker of something behind his eyes—something that you couldn’t decipher. “I’m not going to leave it alone,” he said, his voice more determined now. “I’m your friend. And I’m here, okay? Whether you want to talk about it or not.”

For a second, you almost wanted to tell him everything—how you’d felt so invisible for so long, how his rejection had torn you apart, how you’d convinced yourself that losing weight, changing who you were, would somehow make him see you. But you couldn’t. You couldn’t bring yourself to show him the broken pieces of you that you were desperately trying to hide.

Instead, you just looked away, trying to keep the tears that threatened to spill under control.

“I don’t need your help,” you said quietly, the words slipping out before you could stop them.

Seungmin’s eyes widened slightly, as if your words had stung more than you realized. “You don’t need my help?” he repeated, his voice gentle but firm. “You don’t need anyone?”

You swallowed hard, trying to steady your shaking hands. “No. I don’t. I’m fine.”

There was a long silence. Seungmin seemed to search your face, as if waiting for you to say something more, to open up to him. But you didn’t. You couldn’t.

“I’ll leave you alone, then,” he said finally, his voice quieter now. “But just know, I’m here. Whenever you want to talk.”

And with that, he stood up, his tray untouched, and walked away. You watched him go, your chest tight with a mixture of relief and guilt.

But as the door to the library closed behind him, a cold, heavy emptiness settled over you. For a moment, you thought about calling out to him, about telling him everything. But you couldn’t. The distance between you had grown too wide. You’d built up too many walls.

And no matter how much you wanted him to see you, to see the real you, you couldn’t tear down the ones you’d put up, not now.

---

The weeks dragged on. Your weight continued to drop, and while you were more withdrawn, you started to notice people around you especially Seungmin looking at you differently. Some of the girls who used to talk to him started whispering, glancing at you with something that resembled envy.

But you didn’t care about them. You didn’t care about anyone except Seungmin. You had spent so long wishing to be someone who could be noticed, someone who was worthy of his attention. But even now, when you had finally become someone different, it still wasn’t enough.

And deep down, you knew something even more painful than that: He might never look at you the way you wanted him to. But the hardest part was realizing that you might never look at yourself the way you wanted to either.

——

That night, you found yourself sitting at a study table, surrounded by half-open notebooks and the faint buzz of other students working in the background. But your mind wasn’t on the textbooks in front of you. It was on him—Seungmin.

Yes, you were back at his place after he requested you to study with him. you can never seem to restrain yourself when he asks you for something it was always one of his charms, his round boba eyes looking at you pleading beside the lockers for you to study for the exam with which ended up with the both of you here. Studying like the old times

You had tried so hard to push those feelings away, bury them deep, pretend you were fine, but every time you saw him—every time he smiled at you or talked to you like nothing had changed—it became harder to ignore. It wasn’t the rejection that had hurt the most. It was the fact that it felt like he only saw you as his best friend. Just a friend.

You stared down at your notebook, the words blurring together, your hand shaking slightly as you tried to focus on your notes. You couldn't anymore.

The words bubbled up from somewhere deep inside of you, and before you could stop them, you turned to Seungmin, who was sitting across from you, tapping away on his phone. His usual easygoing expression was there, but tonight, you could barely look at him without feeling the weight of everything you had been holding back.

"Seungmin…" Your voice trembled, and you hated how fragile it sounded. He looked up, sensing the change in tone, his brow furrowing in concern.

"Yeah?" His eyes softened, and in that moment, he looked so oblivious to the storm swirling inside you.

You couldn’t do it anymore. "You have no idea, do you? How much this… all of this has affected me."

He blinked, clearly confused. "What are you talking about?"

You inhaled sharply, your chest tightening as frustration and pain flooded through you. You didn’t care anymore. You didn’t care about holding it in or pretending you were fine. "When you rejected me, Seungmin… it crushed me. You said you liked me, but not that way, and it’s like you’ve been treating me like nothing changed, but everything changed! I didn’t just get over it! I couldnt”

Seungmin’s face went still, and for the first time, you saw something flicker in his eyes—something like guilt. But it was too late for that. You had to keep going, or you’d never find the closure you needed.

"I lost so much weight after that. You know that, right? I thought if I changed how I looked, maybe I’d be good enough for you. Maybe you’d see me differently. But no matter what I did, it didn’t matter, because you’ll always just see me as your friend! I was so stupid to think you could feel the same way about me. I was just a friend, and that’s it. I wasn’t even enough to make you see me as “more."

You felt the words hit the air like a slap, the raw emotion in your voice a stark contrast to how carefully you’d kept it buried for so long. The room felt heavy, and for a moment, you weren’t sure if you’d said too much.

Seungmin was quiet. Too quiet. You dared a glance at him, only to see his face twisted in an expression that was too hard to read.

"You…" His voice cracked, and he looked down at his hands, his fingers pressing into the paper on the desk. "I didn’t know… you really felt that way. I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, you know that, right?"

Your heart hurt hearing him apologize, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that it was too late. “I know you didn’t mean to,” you said softly, shaking your head. “But you still did. And it changed everything.”

The silence stretched between you two, thick with all the unsaid things. You watched Seungmin, who was struggling with his words, looking at you like he didn’t know how to fix this, because maybe, in some twisted way, he couldn’t.

"I never wanted to make you feel like you weren’t enough," he said quietly, his voice sincere, but it still felt distant. "I�� I just never saw you the way you wanted me to. I see you as my best friend. That’s all I can see."

Those words—those exact words—were the ones you had dreaded hearing from the moment you’d confessed. You had known it all along, deep down, but hearing it from his lips, right in front of you, was still a punch to the gut.

"Yeah," you whispered, blinking back the tears threatening to spill over. "I know."

The realization hit you hard. He would never look at you the way you wanted him to. No matter how much you changed, no matter how hard you tried, he would always just see you as his friend. And somewhere inside, you knew that was the part you had to let go of.

Seungmin looked like he wanted to say more, but you couldn’t let him. You had already said everything you needed to say. And as painful as it was, you felt like a weight had been lifted—finally, the truth was out.

Without another word, you stood up from the table, your hands shaking as you gathered your things. Seungmin called your name as you walked away, but you didn’t turn back. You couldn’t.

It was time to stop pretending. Time to stop chasing someone who would never see you the way you wanted to be seen. Time to start moving on, even if it meant leaving a piece of your heart behind.

🏷️: none yet!

[clairoscharm]

you're my bestfriend

pairing : ellie williams x fem!reader

warnings : childhood bsf!ew, fluff fluff fluff, not sure what to feel abt this but wtv!, friends to lovers, mentioned of abby being in a rs w @r3starttt , modern au, college au! uhmmm that’s it? OH MENTIONED OF OWEN AS WELL

credits : @anitalenia @fawniiky @cafekitsune

✉️ : this is a draft or repost but i rewritten it :)

DAILY CLICK

DON’T BUY TLOU

WAYS TO HELP PALESTINE

The friendship between you and Ellie began when you were twelve.

It all started with a school project, an awkward pairing that felt like a chore at first. But as the two of you began working together, it quickly became clear that this was something special. You laughed over shared jokes, stumbled through awkward silences, and discovered you could lean on each other even during the chaos of adolescence.

By the time the middle school ended, your bond had become unshakable. Ellie wasn’t just a friend; she was a constant—a partner in crime, your confidant, your people.

That was years ago, back when everything felt a little simpler. Now, you were both in college, sharing a new chapter of life together. Time had only strengthened the connection between you. Through exams, messy dorm rooms, and late-night cramming sessions, Ellie remained the person who felt most like home.

When the winter break rolled around, there was no question where you’d spend it: back in Jackson, at your childhood house. The two-week Christmas and New Year holiday was the perfect excuse to escape campus life and dive into the traditions you and Ellie had built over the years.

One of the traditions you two built over the years was having regular sleepovers. These weren’t just casual, one-off events but rituals that kept your friendship alive, vibrant, and full of the joys that come with shared memories.

The two of you used to stay up until the small hours playing video games, binge-watching movies you’d seen countless times, and gossiping about everything from celebrities to the drama unfolding in your social circles.

Whether it was at her place or yours, sleepovers were a haven of connection.

This time, it was at your house.

—

The living room was alive with the sounds of laughter and playful bickering. The floor was strewn with takeout boxes and empty soda cans, remnants of a feast that fueled your gaming marathon. The TV cast a soft, flickering light across the room as you and Ellie faced off in a video game.

“Ha! Take that!” Ellie crowed, slamming her controller buttons with exaggerated glee.

“Don’t get cocky,” you shot back, narrowing your eyes at the screen. “This isn’t over.”

Despite your competitive banter, there was an ease to the moment that felt like second nature. It was the kind of night where time blurred, where everything else faded into the background.

As you reached for a slice of leftover pizza, a thought popped into your head. You paused the game, grinning mischievously. “Wait, oh my god. I forgot to tell you something!”

Ellie raised an eyebrow, already intrigued. “Oh no. What now?”

“It’s not bad,” you said, your grin widening. “Just some campus drama you missed.”

Ellie smirked, leaning back on her hands. “Well, don’t hold out on me. Spill.”

You set down the pizza and leaned in, lowering your voice as if you were sharing top-secret intel. “Okay, so you know Abby Anderson, right?”

“Duh,” Ellie replied. “Big, intimidating, kind of broody? Hard to miss her. What about her?”

“She’s seeing this girl, Renee—you’ve probably seen her around. She’s an art student and works at the campus coffee shop.”

“Oh yeah, she’s sweet,” says Ellie, nodding. “Always remembers my order. What happened?”

“Well,” you continued, leaning in like you were about to share state secrets, “Abby introduced Renee to her team after practice the other day. And guess who decided to make things awkward?”

Ellie tilted her head. “Owen?”

“Ding, ding, ding,” you said, clapping your hands together. “Apparently, he was making these weird, personal jokes about Abby and Renee. But here’s the best part—Renee shut him down. Like, stone cold. I wish I could’ve seen it.”

Ellie's jaw dropped, and she let out a laugh. “Renee? Quiet, coffee-shop Renee? She shut Owen down?”

“Yup," you said, popping the “p” for emphasis.

"Abby looked like she wanted to high-five her right there. Owen just kind of slunk off after that. It was amazing.”

“I need to start hanging out at practice,” Ellie joked, shaking her head. “But what’s up with Owen? I thought he and Mel were a thing.”

“They were,” you said, her tone shifting slightly. “Till Mel broke it off last month. She said he was too focused on himself and not enough on, well, everything.”

“Yikes,” she muttered. “That's tough, hope she's okay though.”

You nodded your head in agreement, then smirked. “Okay, your turn. Any juicy updates from your side of campus?”

She thought for a moment before snapping her fingers. “Oh! Dina and Jesse—there was this whole misunderstanding last week, but they worked it out, and now they’re even stronger.”

Your eyebrows shot up. “Misunderstanding? What happened?”

“Well,” Ellie started, “Jesse had been spending a lot of time at the library with Cat—”

“Cat? Isn’t she like….gay?” you interrupted, your tone suspicious.

“Yes, but—,” she said, waving you off. “They were working on a group project for their media studies class. But Dina didn’t know that at first, and when she saw them together, she thought something was up.”

You winced. “Oof. That must’ve been a fun conversation.”

“Yeah,” she replied, nodding. “Dina confronted Jesse about it, and he immediately cleared everything up. He even invited her to join them at the library so she could see for herself.”

You smiled, her expression softening. “Aww, classic Jesse. That guy would probably walk through fire for her.”

“Exactly,” Ellie agreed. “Dina felt bad for jumping to conclusions, but Jesse was super understanding about it after they talked it out."

"It’s nice to see a couple that actually, you know, communicates.”

Ellie chuckled, tossing a fry at you. “What a concept, huh?”

“Right?” you said, laughing as you tossed the fry back at her.

The two of you fell into a comfortable silence after that, the hum of the television filling the room again. Ellie stretched out her legs, resting her head against the beanbag as she glanced at you.

“What about you?” she asked, her tone casual but curious. “Anything new in your world?”

You shook your head, leaning back. “Not really. My life’s basically a drama-free zone, which, honestly, I’m okay with.”

Ellie gave you a lopsided grin. “You’re lucky. The rest of us are out here living in a soap opera.”

“Yeah,” you teased, “But where would you be without my advice and impeccable commentary?”

Ellie laughed, her voice warm and easy. “Nowhere. You’re basically my rock, you know that?”

Her words made you pause, but before you could respond, she reached for another fry, casually throwing it into her mouth as though she hadn’t just made your heart skip a beat.

No matter how chaotic campus life, or Ellie’s stories gets, moments like this grounded you. With Ellie, it always felt like home.

A thick comforter lay sprawled over both of your legs, its soft fabric a welcome barrier against the cold. You shifted slightly, the rustle of the blanket mingling with the distant creaks of the house settling, a reminder of the quiet world outside this cocoon of warmth.

As you reached for a slice of leftover pizza, Ellie adjusted her position, her socked feet brushing against yours beneath the blanket. You didn’t say anything, but the small, familiar gesture made your chest tighten with an unspoken comfort.

In the brief pause between rounds, the room felt quieter.

The hum of the heater in the corner created a steady background rhythm, joined occasionally by the faint groan of the pipes. Outside, the faint whistle of wind against the windowpanes added to the serene atmosphere, as if the world itself were settling in for the night.

Ellie stretched her arms above her head, yawning loudly. “Okay, okay, I need a break. My hands are cramping,” she said, dropping her controller onto the couch beside her with a soft thud.

“You mean you’re tired of losing,” you teased, earning a playful shove in return.

“Keep talking, and I’m taking the last slice of pizza,” she shot back, a mischievous glint in her eye.

Ellie grabbed the remote and turned it off with a click. The sudden quiet felt startling at first, but the soft hum of the heater and the occasional creak of the house quickly filled the silence.

You glanced around the room—pillows and blankets were scattered across the couch and the floor, remnants of the makeshift sleepover setup you'd thrown together earlier in the night. The couch wasn’t big enough for both of you to sleep on comfortably, so you’d decided to make the floor a cozy nest instead.

Ellie flopped down on the pile of blankets with a dramatic sigh, her arm draping over her face. “I’m never going to move again,” she declared, her voice muffled by the fabric.

You laughed softly, tossing another pillow down beside her. “Good. That means I get the better blanket.”

Ellie peeked out from under her arm, narrowing her eyes playfully. “Over my dead body.”

Despite the mock protests, you handed her the thicker blanket before crawling onto the floor beside her. You stretched out on your back, the soft layers of the blanket beneath you cushioning the hardwood floor.

“God, I love nights like this,” she murmured, her voice low but content.

You nodded, leaning back into the couch. “Yeah. It’s kind of perfect, isn’t it?”

The world outside might have been cold and distant, but here, wrapped in the warmth of shared laughter and quiet moments, everything felt right.

Ellie shifted beside you, lying on her side and propping her head up with her hand. “Do you ever feel like the floor is weirdly more comfortable than a bed sometimes?” she mused, her voice soft, almost thoughtful.

“Not really,” you replied, turning your head to meet her gaze. “But it feels… different. Like we’re kids again.”

Ellie smiled faintly, her expression softening. “Yeah, I guess it does.”

The quiet between you wasn’t awkward. It never was. Instead, it was filled with the subtle sounds of your shared presence—the rustle of blankets as Ellie adjusted her position, the faint sound of her breathing as she stared at the ceiling.

Eventually, you turned onto your side, facing her. The space between you felt impossibly small, your fingers just brushing hers where they rested on the blanket.

“Ellie,” you said suddenly, breaking the silence.

“Yeah?”

“You’re my best friend,” you said casually, your voice quiet but sincere.

She looked up at you, her brow raised slightly, a teasing smirk tugging at her lips. “Well, that’s a good thing, right?”

“Of course,” you replied, chuckling as you leaned back against the stack of pillows. “You’re like the best part of my life, Ellie.”

She grinned, setting her phone down beside her. “Right back at you. You��re stuck with me, you know?”

You both shared a laugh, the kind of laugh that felt natural and familiar. But as the sound faded, a brief silence stretched between you, and you couldn’t help but wonder—would things be different if she were more than just your best friend?

The thought crept into your mind like it always did, sneaking in during quiet moments like this. Whether it was the way her laugh made your chest feel light or how her presence turned even the most mundane nights into something special, the idea lingered.

Ellie rolled onto her back, her shoulder brushing against yours as she got comfortable. The soft rustle of the blankets and the hum of the heater filled the room as the house settled into the quiet hours of the night.

You let your eyes close, but the lingering thought of what if stayed with you, weaving its way through your dreams as sleep finally took over.

The quiet night enveloped the both of you, and in the peaceful cocoon of the living room, everything felt like it was exactly where it was meant to be—for now.

—

The next morning, as sunlight poured through the blinds, casting golden beams across the room, you found yourself back in the kitchen, preparing tea. You didn’t know it yet, but this was the start of something new—a chapter where the line between friendship and love began to blur in ways that felt as natural as breathing.

The faint whistle of a teapot came from the kitchen, pulling Ellie from her slumber. She stretched like a cat, groaning quietly as her body protested against the familiar couch cushions. Sitting up, she rubbed her eyes and blinked at the sunlight streaming through the curtains.

The house smelled of tea, the aroma pulling her to her feet.

Ellie was so familiar with your routines by now that nothing surprised her anymore. She knew that mornings were your sanctuary. From the way you’d groggily reach for your phone, squinting at the screen, to the way you’d lounge in bed for a few extra minutes before getting up to make tea and soak in the quiet beauty of the day.

Padding into the kitchen, Ellie found you standing by the counter, the steam from the teapot swirled lazily around you, and the sight made her pause for a moment. She always thought you looked effortlessly beautiful, but something about that moment felt different.

Your hair was loosely behind your ears, framing your face, and your posture relaxed as you waited for the tea to steep. You were humming—some song she couldn’t quite place—but the sight and sound of you in the morning light made Ellie’s chest ache with something she didn’t quite know how to name.

"Morning," you said, your voice warm with the remains of sleep.

Ellie slid into one of the chairs at the kitchen table, still rubbing the last traces of sleep from her eyes. "Morning. You're up early."

You laughed lightly. "Early? It’s almost nine."

She chuckled, leaning back in her seat. "Fair point. Making tea again, huh?"

You nodded, lifting an eyebrow at her. "Want some?"

Normally, she’d say no. She wasn’t much of a tea drinker and often teased you about your near-religious devotion to it. But today, for reasons she couldn’t quite explain, she hesitated.

"Yeah," she said suddenly, surprising even herself. "Sure. Why not?"

You froze mid-pour, turning to her with a raised brow. "You? Tea? Are you feeling okay?"

Ellie shrugged nonchalantly, though her voice betrayed a hint of curiosity. "Don’t make it a thing. Just figured I’d try it since you’re so obsessed."

You smirked but said nothing, turning back to pour her a cup.

The kitchen was quiet save for the clink of mugs and the soft whistle of the kettle, and Ellie found herself watching you again, noticing the way the sunlight played on your features.

The moment felt oddly significant. As Ellie leaned against the chair, watching you prepare the tea, she noticed the way the sunlight caught strands of your hair, the way your movements were careful and precise, as though this simple act was its own form of artistry.

Ellie found herself smiling.

"How come you want to try it today?" you asked, breaking the silence.

She shrugged again, her fingers idly scratching behind the ears of one of your pets who had wandered into the kitchen. "I don’t know," she said softly. "Just felt like it."

You nodded and smiled at her before grabbing a container that has ‘Sugar’ written on it.

Knowing Ellie’s aversion to bitter drinks, you added two and a half sugar of full spoon into her tea before mixing it. As you stirred, you felt her gaze on you, uncharacteristically focused.

Ellie’s gaze lingered on you longer than usual. The scene felt timeless, almost nostalgic, as if it had happened before and would happen again countless times.

"I want to live with you forever one day," Ellie said suddenly, her voice quiet but steady.

You froze, the words taking you back to when she had said the exact same thing years ago. Back then, it had been a lighthearted comment, something tossed into the air during one of your late-night talks. But now, there was a weight to her tone that hadn’t been there before.

A blush crept across your cheeks, but you smiled nonetheless. "Let’s do that somewhere in the future, yeah?"

When you handed her the mug, she caught the faintest smile on your lips. Your fingers brushed briefly, and Ellie felt a warmth that wasn’t just from the tea.

The two of you moved to the living room, settling onto the couch with your steaming mugs. The morning sunlight spilled into the room, wrapping everything in a gentle glow. It was one of those rare moments of absolute serenity.

Ellie took the mug, cradling it in her hands as the warmth seeped into her skin. She hesitated for a moment before taking a sip. The sweetness hit her first, then the floral notes of the tea. It wasn’t bad.

"Not terrible," she admitted, her voice laced with surprise.

"High praise," you teased, grinning as you leaned back on the couch.

Ellie shook her head, smiling despite herself. "What’s your secret?"

Leaning closer, you whispered as though sharing a sacred truth. "I add a little extra sugar. Don’t tell anyone though, it’s our secret."

Ellie chuckled, her grin widening. "My lips are sealed."

The room fell into a comfortable silence again as you both sipped your tea. For you, the moment felt like something out of a dream.

You had always imagined a life like this—peaceful mornings with someone you loved, sharing quiet moments over a warm cup of tea or coffee. You’d daydreamed about it as a teenager, envisioning a cozy home filled with the soft sounds of laughter, the pitter-patter of pets (or maybe even with kids around), and the kind of love that felt like warm, cozy, slow, like home.

Ellie knew about those dreams. You’d shared them with her years ago, during one of your late-night talks. She had always admired how clear you were about what you wanted in life.

As you sat there, sipping your tea, you found your thoughts drifting. Ellie was so deeply embedded in your life, in your heart, that imagining a future without her felt impossible. And yet, the idea of wanting her in a romantic sense felt like a line you shouldn’t cross.

Ellie broke the silence, her voice soft but filled with meaning. "You know what this reminds me of?"

You turned to her, tilting your head slightly. "What?"

"Back when we were teenagers, you told me about your dream life," she said, her eyes locking onto yours. "And this… this feels like it. Like the future you described."

Your heart skipped a beat.

"And honestly," she continued, her voice barely above a whisper, "I want it to be me."

The words hung in the air, weighty and electric.

"You… you want it to be you?" you asked, your voice trembling slightly.

Ellie nodded, her gaze unwavering. "Yeah. I’ve wanted it to be me for a long time."

For a moment, you couldn’t speak. Emotions swirled within you—surprise, joy, and an overwhelming sense of belonging.

"I want it to be you too," you admitted, your voice soft but certain.

Ellie’s smile was radiant, and she reached out to place her hand over yours.

"I meant what I said earlier," she confessed. "In the kitchen. And years ago."

Your heart swelled as you realized this moment was everything you’d ever dreamed of.

Sometimes, the simplest things—a cup of tea, a quiet morning, the soft glow of sunlight—can carry the weight of a thousand unspoken emotions. This moment, this connection, felt like coming home.

You had always dreamed of this life, and now, you were finally living it, with Ellie by your side.

Together, and perhaps, it’s a forever kind of thing.

© clairoscharm 2024

[beegomess]

hii! absolutely love ur posts 🫶🫶

i was wondering if you'd write a bsfs to lovers, mattheoxreader. Like, they've been childhood friends, and kinda of a 'she fell first, he fell harder' lol. Kinda corny but still vv cutesy and fluffy

totally alr if not!

tysm 💗

M.R. || In how many ways can you love him?

Summary: You and Mattheo grew up together, but falling in love with him didn't seem like a good idea, unless he came to do the same some time later…. Warnings: cute and romantic.

A/N: I really hope you like it. I apologize for the delay, I wanted to do something well done!

Open orders!

He was still a child when their paths crossed for the first time. The boy, with black curls and a somewhat lost look, sat next to him at the huge Slytherin table, right after the Selector Hat ceremony. The table, with its long wooden benches and a soft lighting that seemed to emanate a mystical glow of floating candles, was the stage of new friendships and alliances.

You watched him with curiosity and a warm smile, a friendly gesture that for him was almost a surprise. Raised in a home where feelings were non-existent, his kindness seemed like a strange contrast, but welcome. The last name, which made whispers circulate through the hall and kept the teachers on alert, was something that did not intimidate you. After all, you had always been immune to family pressures and expectations, living your childhood immersed in imagination and carefree games, with no time to understand what surnames were good or bad for you. The only daughter of a traditional family, pure-blood and fervently loyal to obscure figures, you at the time barely knew the true extent of the influence of these individuals.

Mattheo, with few friendship options in his new environment, has found in you a safe haven. Without knowing it, he was about to enter into a relationship that would become a fundamental foundation in his life. His family, despite not being overly affectionate, was a better refuge than the dark environment provided by Bellatrix. Accepting Mattheo was a gesture of generosity that quickly became something essential; he found in his house a new form of belonging, mainly because, due to the implicit rivalry, the family itself would not welcome him with open arms, especially Draco, with whom he had a feeling of competitiveness created by the blonde.

The birthdays and natals in his house became annual milestones for Mattheo, and he became a constant and comforting presence during his pre-adolescence. The proximity between you has grown, and in several moments, he became your closest friend. During the first year at Hogwarts, you explored every corner of the school with enthusiasm and mischief. Mattheo, with bright eyes and a mischievous smile, ventured in search of Pirraça, the poltergeist, and together, you two created confusions that made the uncontrolled spirit want to move away.

In the second year, a visit to Hogsmeade brought a new layer to their friendship. It was there that you met Theodore Nott, a boy who, despite his closed and reserved countenance, found in you a welcoming and genuine friendship. At the same time, your approach with Pansy Parkinson, the girl with whom you shared the room, brought a new balance to your social life. Having a close female friend was a refreshing relief, a company that contrasted with the intense and often overwhelming presence of the boys.

Mattheo, always attentive and available, listened to his complaints and confessions with a patience that bordered on the exceptional. He offered thoughtful advice, and you trusted him completely. However, there were nuances of your feelings that you began to perceive, something subtle and still in formation, as if a veil of change began to be drawn. You initially ignored these changes, preferring to stay in the course of friendships and daily adventures.

Over time, during the end of the second year, murmurs and malicious jokes arose about the proximity between you and Mattheo. Some colleagues began to speculate and make insinuating comments about the nature of your relationship. Despite the provocations, you kept your composure, simply disregarding the gossip and continuing to enjoy the solid friendship you had built. For you, what really mattered was the genuine bond you shared, a firm foundation in a world full of uncertainties and intrigues.

During that year's vacation, you exchanged letters and met a few times. In each of these encounters, his heart seemed to beat faster and differently, as if he was trying to free himself from a subtle enchantment. The way you watched him changed: every detail of your face, every trace of your expression seemed more intense and fascinating. He looked even more handsome when he smiled, and every time that happened, you felt a mixture of admiration and anxiety.

His parents, who always preferred a male child, treated Mattheo almost as if he were a family member. Gifts, school expenses and even money for fun were offered to him with the same generosity as to you. This closeness made your feelings for Mattheo slow to emerge, since you were treated and treated like brothers, which sometimes made you lose hope.

Her best friend, Pansy, soon realized what was happening. At the beginning of the third year, on the night of her return to Hogwarts, she listened carefully as you talked about the holidays and how much Mattheo showed up at your house, something you loved.

- You really like him, don't you? - Pansy asked, with a suggestive tone that made you turn quickly to face her.

- What do you mean by that? - Your shame made you turn to the bed, pretending to fix the covers while your face turned scarlet. - Of course I like him, we grew up together.

Pansy rolled her eyes, a mischievous smile playing on her lips as she prepared to sleep.

- You know that's not what I'm talking about... - You sighed, trying to divert the conversation. - Please, he'll never notice how you feel if you keep treating him just like a friend.

You considered what she said, but soon tried to change the subject to escape the restlessness.

- Pansy, let's stop this and sleep. - You laughed, trying to disguise, but as soon as your head rested on the pillow, your mind wandered to that afternoon when other girls threw themselves on Mattheo. He seemed to have changed so much since the previous year, and you only noticed now.

[...]

In the following weeks, you experienced some silly things, like wearing a perfume that he complimented some time ago, or sitting with him in class, enjoying every joke he told you in whispers. You even rested your head on your shoulder during the late afternoon, while watching the Black Lake with its waves swinging to the taste of the light wind.

Every week that passed, you seemed even more attracted to him, but also more and more upset. The girls cared little about his presence when they wanted to flirt with him, and he always corresponded, every time, without exception. Weeks turned into months and, when you realized, you had already been going through this anguish for a year.

You had made your feelings so evident that even Theodore noticed. In a Snape class, after seeing you turn to his and Mattheo's table and smile at Riddle, Theodore leaned over to his friend to whisper something inaudible to the others.

- I think she likes you. - Mattheo frowned, with a confused expression.

- Who are you talking about? - Theo didn't answer with words, he just directed his eyes to you. Riddle followed his friend's gaze and became even more confused, but forced a laugh. - Oh, please, Theo...

- You're pathetic for pretending you don't see. - Theodore commented and laughed, going back to what he was doing, while Mattheo nodded negatively, completely disagreeing with Nott.

On the other hand, Pansy asked you to forget him, seeing how sad you looked every time he canceled appointments with you to go out with other girls. When it wasn't for that, it was when he came to tell you about how the girls were with him. His heart shattered with every word. Pansy began to practically hate him for having the power to do you good and evil at the same time.

- Maybe you should take some time for yourself... We can go out and go shopping or sleepovers with the other girls. - She suggested, stroking her hair while you hugged her after telling her what had happened this time. - You need to get away from him, Y/N. Mattheo may have been your first love, but it certainly won't be the last.

You understood all this, but it was very difficult to put it into practice. It was like tearing out a part of your life by force. The way he didn't seem to have noticed your absence in the following days only encouraged you to continue.

You did everything Pansy suggested: you went out with her, made new friends, and even other boys started to be more interested in you. Mattheo ended up looking for you after some time and you even gently accepted him, but it was as if you were just friends now. You began to understand that he would never really see you in any other way than that, and maybe this was already starting to be acceptable to you.

The relationship with him seemed lighter after this break. You went out a few times to Hogsmeade, and you made him laugh easily under the watchful eye of Theodore, who usually accompanied you. He, as Mattheo's closest friend now, was starting to like how you interacted. Before, he felt a certain guilt and even pity for seeing you sad, but now it was as if you didn't care about the girls' looks anymore.

At the same time, you began to notice the presence of a certain boy, who smiled at you when he met you in the corridors or during classes. Riddle began to miss the times when you turned your face to smile at him every morning in early classes. Instead, he saw you answering small notes that other boys sent you in class. In a job passed by McGonagall, Mattheo practically ran to you to make sure they would do the job together.

The roles seemed to have reversed, and Theodore had fun with the irony of fate. Mattheo hated it when the boys flirted with you, even when he was together, or when they pretended to have problems in some subject just to spend hours with you in the library. And even more so when they insisted on accompanying her to her dormitory after the parties in the communal room. The latter was a huge torture for him, since he knew that this was one of the ways the boys used to finally kiss someone.

The morning after that party, you sat next to Mattheo during breakfast, as you always did. Yes, he tortured himself all night thinking about how long that boy who found you in the dark corridors took to return to the common room, but he tried to ward off this thought, focusing on the fact that on that day, you would go out together and everything would go back to normal. However, his happiness lasted a few minutes.

- So, where are we going first today? - Mattheo asked with a smile on his face, leaning towards you. His face, however, formed a strange expression, something like regret. - What was it?

- Matt, I'm sorry. I completely forgot that we scheduled to go out today... - He was still confused, he just smiled in response, as if the answer was obvious.

- All right, Theo and I can wait for you. - Theodore, on the other hand, had already understood what was happening and just muffled a low laugh.

- No, Mattheo, I'm ready... - His face looked even more confused as he stared at you, who had a slight smile on his face. - It's just that Adrian invited me yesterday and I accepted. But it's okay for you, isn't it? After all, we can go another day if you want.

- Adrian? - He asked still incredulous. - Adrian Pucey? You don't even know him. - Mattheo disdained and Theodore paid even more attention, looking forward to what was to come.

- Mattheo, I don't think you've been listening to me lately. - You smiled, but your irritation was visible to those who knew you. - I've been going out with him for a while, just yesterday we were at the party.

- Yes, but I thought it was just one more of those boys who keep chasing you... - He started, but you interrupted him.

- Don't play dumb, Matt. Even Theo knew... - You waved to Theodore, who confirmed with a gesture, making Mattheo even more angry. A brief silence followed, but you didn't let it last long. - Very well, see you later. - You got up from the table when you saw the other Slytherin waiting for you at the exit of the Great Hall.

Mattheo watched you walk away with a smile that he believed was exclusive to his presence. In the vision distorted by jealousy, it seemed that you only needed to jump when Pucey gave you a light kiss on the cheek, which made a knot form in his stomach. Meanwhile, Theodore just watched the way he clenched his jaw in frustration.

After that morning, Theodore had to endure Mattheo's bad mood for the rest of the week, a constant weight that hovered over him. Meanwhile, you, irritated by the way Mattheo seemed upset with you, avoided your presence for several days. Silence and distance have become your way of dealing with the growing tension between you.

During this period, Mattheo kept a calculated distance, but couldn't help but watch you when he wasn't looking. He spent hours huddled in a corner, his eyes fixed on you during classes, with a tumultuous mind. Every laugh you shared with Pucey was a blow of pain for him. He felt that something was deeply out of place, a cruel disorder in the balance of his world. But the worst was still to come that night.

It was another one of those typical parties in the common room, an event full of laughter and muffled music. Theodore watched Mattheo with a close eye, watching him fix his eyes on you as you approached the sofa where he and Nott were sitting. You were stunning that night, the light of the torches enhancing the brightness of your smile as you settled next to them.

Since Mattheo's feelings began to manifest, he had unconsciously stopped noticing other girls. This change happened so naturally that he didn't even notice. It was as if, suddenly, the world around you had become a colorless blur compared to the brightness you radiated. The empty space next to him at the party seemed to be the materialization of an unverbalized desire, a silent invitation that he did not know how to accept.

Mattheo was completely consumed by a love that dragged him into an abyss of anguish and unrequited desire. Every furtive look of yours towards you was a silent torture, a constant reminder of the intense and unattainable desire you felt. His thoughts revolved incessantly around you, and the simple fact of seeing you interact with another boy with a deep void forming in his chest, an acute pain that seemed to corrode his soul. At parties and meetings, Mattheo felt like a powerless spectator, trapped in a passion that left him distressed and desolate.

Mattheo, however, remembered the reality, seeing you smile gently at him and Theo while you talked quietly with your friend.

- What happened? Doesn't your dear Adrian accompany you in these places? - Riddle's tone was cruel, clearly demonstrating his pain. - I thought they were together here too, since they practically live together now...

You noticed the cold tone, the smile on your face falls and a confused expression takes over.

- What's wrong with you? Why are you so upset? - Your tone was not accusatory, you were really inclined to understand why he moved so far away.

On the other hand, Theo just carefully observed each interaction.

- I'm not upset. - Riddle practically murmured while quickly drinking the last sip of the drink in his glass, getting up soon after.

You and Theo looked at each other, looking for answers in each other, but both just found doubts.

When you went out to look for him, you couldn't find Mattheo anywhere at the party. I was about to give up when an idea came to your mind: the astronomy tower. Taking a deep breath, he climbed the winding stairs, feeling his heart tighten with each step. Upon reaching the top, the night breeze cut his skin, bringing with it the cold air characteristic of the altitude. The wind was strong, hissing in your ears while the stars shone in the dark sky, as far away as the boy you were looking for seemed to be.

Mattheo was there, leaning against the iron railing, with a lit cigarette between his fingers. He didn't seem to notice his arrival, fixing his gaze on the horizon. The smoke mixed with the cold air, creating a soft fog around it.

- The party doesn't seem like your kind of fun today - you commented, trying to break the silence lightly as you approached.

He released the smoke slowly, without looking at you.

- Maybe it's not. Maybe I don't have patience for the same old things anymore.

You crossed your arms, both because of the cold and because of the tension that was beginning to arise.

- What's going on?

He didn't answer immediately, taking another drag on the cigarette. You waited, but Mattheo's indifference began to annoy you.

- Mattheo, say something. - he insisted, his tone getting firmer.

He put out the cigarette against the cold iron, finally turning his face to face you. His eyes were gloomy, loaded with a weight that you couldn't decipher.

- What I don't understand is why you keep getting closer to Adrian... - The words came out with an unexpected acidity. You blinked, surprise.

- Adrian? What does it have to do with him? We're leaving, yes, but you don't have the right to question me about it. - He took a step forward, his expression hardening.

- I see you together all the time. I don't know how you don't realize how ridiculous this looks.

His heart began to beat harder, but now out of anger.

- Ridiculous? Mattheo, you went out with several girls while I was... while I was here, waiting for you to notice! - The words came out in an outburst that you didn't even know you were keeping. - And you never cared what I thought. How can you want to charge me something like that now?

He looked at you, his face tense for a moment before softening.

- It wasn't the same thing, and you know it. - You laughed, incredulous.

- Wasn't it the same thing? Of course it was. You're just not used to seeing things turning against you. - Mattheo looked down for a moment, as if he was fighting against his own emotions.

- I... I was trying not to get attached. I thought it was better that way, so as not to hurt you. But then Pucey came, and I realized it wasn't working. - He sighed, his voice getting lower. - I don't know how to deal with it. With... us.

His words hit you almost unreally. It was all you had wanted to hear for so long, but now, it seemed so distant, as if he was revealing something too late. The silence that fell between you was heavy, full of unsaid things.

- And what do you want me to do, Mattheo? That I end everything with Adrian just because you finally decided to realize it? - His voice had no more anger, just a sadness that even you didn't expect to feel.

He looked at you, the vulnerable expression, something that was rarely seen in him.

- I don't know. All I know is that... that I care about you. More than I should.

The anger you felt was softening, but that didn't mean that things were resolved. The words you dreamed so much of hearing were finally there, but the time, the context, everything seemed wrong.

- That doesn't make sense now, Mattheo - you murmured, taking a step back, feeling the icy wind chill your skin. - I waited so long for this, and now... I don't know what to think.

He took a step towards her, his eyes intense.

- I'm not asking you to decide now. I just want you to know.

The silence between you two was loaded, the night wind cold and insistent, but the cold you felt seemed to come from within, not only from the wind that cut the air. Mattheo was there, so close, and even with all the barriers he had put up, you felt that something had finally broken. He looked at you in a way he had never had before - there was no longer the distant mystery, but a raw intensity that revealed everything he had been hiding.

You felt a tightness in your chest, your mind spinning in a spiral of doubts and conflicting feelings. But before he could formulate any answer, Mattheo took another step towards him, closing the distance between you. His breathing was heavy, his breath mixed with the smell of cigarettes, and when his eyes met, the world seemed to stop for a moment.

- I tried to get away - he murmured, his voice hoarse, but with a sincerity that you had never heard before. - I swear I tried. But I can't, I can't see you with him, or with anyone else. I can't stand it.

Your heart shot, the weight of his words falling on you like a wave. Reason screamed to keep your distance, not to give in so easily, but every part of you longed for that. He was a mystery that held you, that pulled you into a deep abyss, but at the same time, he was the only one who made your heart beat like that.

- And what do you expect me to do, Mattheo? - your voice came out softer than you intended, the cold around you contrasting with the heat that grew in your chest.

He raised his hand, hesitating for a moment before gently touching his face, his thumb sliding down his cheek with a delicacy that seemed impossible coming from him. Your touch was hot, and the simple gesture made you close your eyes for a second, absorbing the moment.

- I want you to choose me - he whispered, his voice low and full of emotion. - Choose me, not him. Not anymore. Not after everything I... that we...

Before he finished the sentence, you interrupted him, feeling that the words were no longer enough. His lips met his in a sudden, impulsive movement, as if all the accumulated desire had exploded at once. Mattheo reacted immediately, pulling you closer, and the kiss that started soft quickly intensified, full of passion and all the tension you had repressed for so long.

The icy breeze around became insignificant, as if the heat between you was the only real element at that moment. His hands intertaced in your hair, and his arms wrapped you tightly, as if he wanted to make sure you didn't escape anymore. Every second seemed like an eternity, and at the same time, it wasn't enough.

When you finally moved away, his eyes were fixed on yours, his face still close enough for your breaths to mix.

- I've always wanted this - he admitted, his voice soft, almost vulnerable, while a smile appeared. - But I was too inattentive to realize how much I needed you. I won't make the same mistake again.

You stared at him, still trying to process what had just happened. With your heart racing, you smiled slightly, taking your hand to his face, tracing the line of your jaw.

He smiled, a rare smile, almost relieved, and nodded slowly, his eyes shining in a mixture of promise and desire.

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xoxo, bee🫶🏼✨