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theepisceswriter · 3 years

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𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄'𝐒 𝐀 𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐃, 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑'𝐒 𝐀 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐘 — 𝐄.𝐒, 𝐍.𝐃, 𝐌.𝐙

♡ Pairing: Miche Zacharias x Reader x Nile x Slight Erwin, but he’s basically getting cucked

♡ TW: Not proofread so if you see a typo shh, Fem!reader, cuckholding technically, Double penetration, anal, vaginal sex, fingering, squirting, hair pulling, dirty talk, Erwin is reader’s sugar daddy/boyfriend, 18+, MDNI!

♡ WC: 4.1k

The tension between you and Erwin’s fellow peers had been thick since the moment he began bringing you around them.

Anyone with good eyes could see the way your whole demeanor became flustered when Nile gave you his signature hand kisses, a move he did often just to mess with Erwin and show him the strong effect that he had on you. Or how he treated you like you were his, arm draped over your shoulders and pulling you close, whenever Erwin wasn’t around.

And, oh, don’t get him started on those wide doe eyes filled with admiration that you looked up to Mike with as he went on and on about a subject you knew you didn’t give a damn about, but still, paid close attention to his mini-lectures; taking note of the way his tongue swiped over his lips after every couple of sentences and the way his pecs shook lightly with each laugh that rumbled like lighting in his chest.

You weren’t fooling anyone but yourself, especially not Erwin.

“What do you think about Nile and Mike?”

The older man had decided to speak up once the two of you were away in the comforting confinement of your car after having just left a company event that included the presence of the three men whose names had just left his lips.

The question was odd considering this was nowhere near your first time meeting them, having known both of them for quite a while and comfortable enough with them to the point where the four of you often hung out with each other even outside of professional settings. Maybe not often, but there was definitely a dynamic formed between them where they no longer saw you as an extension of Erwin, but your own person now.

“They’re both nice and funny. I enjoy their company and being around them, I guess. When you’re not around they help me feel comfortable,” You respond as honestly as possible, head-nodding subconsciously as a way to silently praise yourself for the answer you curated. “Why do you ask? It’s not like I haven’t known them for a while now.”

Lights from outside the car as you drove past buildings illuminated the smugness on Erwin’s features as you glanced over at him in the driver’s seat from the corner of your eyes awaiting his answer with genuine curiosity.

“If given the opportunity, would you ever fuck either of them?”

“Erwin!” A gasp left your lips as quickly as the answer spilled from his lips, mouth agape in surprise as you looked over at him with wide eyes only to find that he was chuckling with an even bigger smile on his lips, blue eyes glancing to look over at you momentarily before returning back to the road. “I mean, you look at them like you want them to. You were practically all over Miche this afternoon. You wouldn’t leave his side and he was eating all of your attention up. Even Nile was a little jealous of him today.” He snorts softly.

“I was not all over him.” At least not purposefully, he was just the only one able to hold your attention throughout the whole night without bringing up something entirely boring like stocks or property.

“Okay, but would you if the opportunity arose?” He paraphrases his question, thick eyebrow arching upon his brow bone.

Sinking down into the crisp leather of the Range Rover seats you find your cheeks beginning to warm up the more you consider how to answer his question, every conclusion you come to in your head being a yes.You knew he wouldn’t mind that being your answer, he did propose the question in the first place, but still your mouth couldn’t quite form to answer him.

“I’m not answering that!” You huffed out, arms crossing over your chest in fake annoyance and turning away to the window so Erwin wouldn’t be able to see the flustered expression that was making its way on your face. “What prompted you to ask something like that out of the blue?”

“Just curiosity I guess.” His shoulders shrug along with his response, but the sly smirk from earlier never leaves his lips. A smirk that just screamed that he was plotting something that would go beyond this conversation, but you had no proof to give a backbone to your thoughts so you allowed it to pass wanting to get this conversation over as fast as it started.

It had been nearly two weeks since your impromptu car conversation with Erwin and to be completely honest you had forgotten it had even taken place.

And who could blame you?

With your hands heavy with bags that weighed with heaps of clothing from the finest tailors and name brands in town, the first thing on your mind was the personal fashion show you would put on for Erwin the moment you got home. The older blonde man always appreciated the way you became flustered and suddenly shy with that innocent doe look in your eyes whenever he showered you with compliments and affection with each piece you tried on for him, letting him know that his money was being spent well.

The soles of your shoes clicked against the pristine white marbling floor of the corridor that led to the living room of you and Erwin’s shared penthouse with each step you took, smile on your lips and a little more usual pip in your step with your hand outstretched with the black card Erwin had handed to you early. Finally ready to hand it back over to him after your long day of walking streets with the likeness of Rodeo Drive and swiping it so many times that it took a permanent resting place in your right hand. With the pockets deep enough to support your retail therapy, Erwin couldn’t care less. Especially when he got the sweet reward of watching each piece of fabric hit the floor of your bedroom at the end of a stressful hard working day.

“I’m back!” You called out in a sing-song voice to alert your lover of your presence, pausing at the archway that connected the hallway to the living room to place your bags down on the floor and remove your shoes. “There were so many sales going on today and they were all good too. I had to physically restrict myself from buying out the whole lingerie store because--”

It wasn’t until a purposeful cough sounded from Miche that you became aware of the other men’s presence in the house along with Erwin’s; Three beefy bulky bodies that stretched out on your couches in manspreading positions that made the large family couches look much smaller than they actually were. You couldn’t tell if your cheeks were warming up with embarrassment from your overly laxed entrance or flushness from how the three men had all of their attention on you. Stopping whatever conversation they were in the middle of just to acknowledge your presence.

It wasn’t until now that you considered the mini length sundress that hugged each dip of your hips, brought your cleavage in more with a low cut torso, and had a horizontal slash that showed off just a section of your tummy, as you showing off just a little too much. It was appropriate for the weather outside, but not something you expected to be seen in in front of the two extra sets of prying eyes.

“Y/n!” Miche greeted you with a smile that left his eyes crinkling and a welcoming wave from where he sat on the couch.

“You look as darling as ever, y/n.” Nile followed suit, having to be extra with his greeting like always. In a non existent battle for your attention with the other two in his mind.

“ I see you’ve had an eventful day today.” Erwin notes, quick to stroll over and pick up the bags you had been struggling to hold all like it was nothing, but not before greeting you with a soft peck on the lips. He sits them atop of a granite counter that was not too far away before returning to his former position.

“I’ll be glad to tell you about it later on,” You chuckle dryly, hoping to calm your embarrassed nerves, “Sorry for barging in on you guys like that earlier, I had no idea you two would be over. I would’ve been more welcoming had I known.”

“Nonsense! Just your company alone is more than enough.” Miche dismisses those thoughts of yours with the flick of a wrist and you swear that you caught a glimpse of a wink towards the end of his sentence. “You’re welcome to join us if you’d like. It’s nothing serious, just friendly chatter if you will.”

“Thank you for the offer but I don’t--”

“Be a good girl and sit down with us, yeah?” Nile interjects you mid sentence with something between the mixture of a grimace and smirk. The words left his lips so naturally like he had you trained personally to move at his beck and call.

You expected a routine scolding remark to trail from Erwin’s lips like always whenever Nile became a little too much with his flirting, but it was the opposite. He stayed silent and patted the empty space next to him on the couch and you followed the unspoken orders, bottom hitting the soft plushness of the cushion as you settled comfortably in between the three men essentially. Erwin on your right side and Nile on your left with Miche not too far away from him.

No matter where your eyes travelled there was always a peek of them in your peripheral vision whether it was the biceps of Erwin’s arm, the bulky plushness of Nile’s thigh, or Mike’s abs poking through the sheer of his brown muscle shirt. You couldn’t escape them no matter how hard you tried to focus on anything else to give your poor body a break from the constant warmth and fluster you were feeling all over in this moment.

You couldn’t even be bothered to start a proper conversation, but luckily Erwin took the role of being the first one to speak up.

“You look tense dear, relax.” He spoke up, broad hands moving to press you back into the couch until your back was completely against the cushion of the pillows behind you and adjusting your shoulders for you before you could even do it yourself. Of course, his hand cheekily grazed over the part of your cleavage that was exposed earning a soft gasp to escape your lips. Both from the sudden touch and the fact that you knew both Nile and Mike had caught the sly movement, their eyes never having left you the moment you were in their view.

“You know,” Erwin trails on, his hand dropping from your shoulders directly to the thigh that was closest to him, softly kneading at the flesh, “We were actually talking about you just before you walked in.” He reveals with a soft hum.

Your eyes subconsciously drift over to the other two men in attendance with ponder in your eyes as if you couldn’t believe the words that had just left Erwin’s lips, because what could they possibly be talking about you for? And the way his words were said it wasn’t just a simple passing mention of your name, but a whole conversation based around just you indeed.

The nodding of Mike’s head and the permanent smirk on Nile’s lips when he made eye contact with you was a silent way of confirming the words you were hearing and it's now that you come to the conclusion that your cheeks will never catch a break for as long as they were here. All their attention and affection catered in your direction for some reason unbeknownst to you.

“About what?” You decide to speak up for the first time in a while. Your voice was noticeably a pitch higher than earlier and with the chuckle that left Nile’s lips and the growing leer on Mike’s lips let you know that they both took notice to the change of your demeanor.

“Remember that conversation we had in the car a couple of weeks ago after we left that fundraising event?” Oh.

He took the time it took your mind to recall the conversation as an opportunity to slip his hand to your inner thigh and push your legs apart just enough for his hand to fit. Not enough to put you on display for Nile and Miche just yet.

It was the feeling of the soft pads of his fingers ghosting over the thin fabric that covered your clit that finally brought you out of your shocked state, eyes diverting as far away as possible from the men in front of you. Too flustered and embarrassed to be looking at them, but not to the point where you were uncomfortable. It was just a foreign feeling to your body and you would be lying if you said you didn’t want to know what this would lead to.

“You never directly said yes,” He pauses for a moment to take note of the slick that’s already making a mess of your pretty cunt, evidence that’s important for the words that are going to leave his lips next, “But I know you wanted to. I mean, just look at you now. You’re soaking wet already and we’ve hardly done anything yet.”

Nile is the first of the two men to make his move and for a minute you had forgotten that he was even next to you, but he made his presence known when he grabbed your jaw forcing you to make eye contact with him for the first time tonight.

“Well, this is the opportunity you’ve been waiting for, love.” The moment he’s done with his sentence his lips are on yours, meshing in such a fervorous way that shows that he’s been waiting for this as much as anyone else here. He swallows your mouth whole, or at least that’s what it damn near feels like. You can feel his teeth scrape gently against the underside of your jaw, his lips completely enclosing over yours to the point where you can hardly move your own against his.

Too busy on cloud 9 already just from kissing Nile alone you don’t notice that Miche and Erwin have switched positions until you feel the hardness of his chest against your back, a complete contrast of the soft torso your lover had.

“You should’ve told us you wanted us sooner, baby girl,” His voice is soft as velvet against your ear and sends a shiver down your spine from the vibrates that light your throat ablaze from where he mumbles his words on your skin, “We would’ve been happy to fulfil that desire for you.”

The pads of Mike’s fingers are rougher and more callus than Erwin’s, but they add a phenomenal sensation to your clit once he finally places them there. Moving your panties to the side so he could have more access to your pussy, fingers dipping into your fold to collect your wetness and use it to rub figure 8’’s against the sensitive bud.

With his other hand he protrudes out his middle and ring finger, slowly bringing the thick digits between your legs until they were stretching out and sinking into the entrance of your cunt. Your walls flutter around him and stretch to accommodate his fingers, letting your imagination run wild thinking about how it would feel once his cock was buried deep inside of you.

He moves his fingers so well both inside and outside of you to the point where it’s nearly impossible to keep your lips attached to Nile’s, whimpers sounding from you the moment you detach your lips from his.

“O-Oh fuck,” You’re surpised that you were even able to sound out words. Already dazed out just from the movement of Mike’s fingers alone.

Nile takes this as an opportunity to reach down and slowly peel the mini sundress off your body so he can adore you in all of your glory, eyes watching intently with each new patch of skin that’s revealed to him and he swears he nearly cums in his pants when your bare breasts fall from the confinement of the dress.

“No bra on, hm? Did you come home anticipating to get fucked?” He teases, grabbing ahold of your nipples with his index and thumb and rolling the bead until it was perky. Grabbing a handful of the flesh, he leaned down and attached his mouth over your wide areolas and began suckling on the gently, softly nibbling on them with his teeth before giving the same treatment to the other one.

Through hooded lashes you looked up and caught a glance of Erwin sitting across from the three of you. His cock was visibly straining against his jeans as he watched them ravage and pick apart at you, but he made no move to get rid of it besides palming at it, deciding to just sit and watch for now.

“Don’t look at him, focus on us.” Curving his fingers up in you, Mike was quick to fasten up the pace of his fingers to divert your attention away from the other man. Erwin’s had your attention and body plenty of times, it was his and Nile’s turn to do whatever they wanted with you now.

You squirmed around his fingers, hips subconsciously bucking up against his fingers as you neared your orgasm. It was all too much to focus on between Mike’s fingers and Nile’s tongue still prodding at your sensitive nipples. The sensations were mixing together and becoming unbearable, you had no idea who to focus on as you felt that familiar clenching in your stomach.

You opted for closing your eyes once the wave that was your orgasm hit you, clenching tight around Miche’s fingers and holding Nile close until he pulled away from your breasts with s pop once you came down from your orgasm.

“Atta girl, so good for us.” The dark haired man praised you.

The both of them adjusted and moved around on the couch as they pulled away their article of clothing until they were just as bare as you were. All of your clothing having a likeness of a laundry pile as it sat in the middle of the living room.

Your stomach fluttered with butterflies the moment you caught sight of cocks attached to them. They were both hung like horses and girthier than the width of two of your fingers put together. Still, there were some distinctive features about them. Nile’s was tan with a pink tip that was fat and oozing with precum and decorated with scaring tissue of what you assumed to be an old prince albert piercing on the tip. Mike;s cock had a slight upwards curve to it that was more tanned than Nile’s was and his balls hung big and heavy filled with cum just waiting to fill you up.

“Which one of us do you want to take first, sweetheart?” Mike asked you with a slight hum, hand stroking the smooth inside of your long legs as he awaited your answer.

And ponder you did for a while, wondering if it was even possible for you to take both of them in one day for a solid minute.But you wanted this, you wanted to be greedy. Who knew when a time you’d be able to indulge like this would come up again? You’ve spent nights thinking about this the moment Erwin had first introduced you to them in the earlier stages of your relationship. You were going to go all out. Which is exactly why you fixed your lips to say:

“Both of you. I want both of you.”

Even they were a bit taken aback by your answer, looking up at each other with a slight expression of shock, but that was quick to turn into smirks after a few silent exchanges and head nods.

Mike immediately moves and lays down on the cushions of the couch and Nile picks you up and sits you on top of the other man so you’re now straddling him. They don’t waste any time at all, Mike’s broad hands are going to your hips and lifting you up, moving his cock without his hands so it's lined up with your entrance and sinking you down on him. He makes sure to leave your back at a slight arch by wrapping his arm around your torso so Nile can have easy access. And because it’s not the first time you’ve done this your hole swallows cock with ease, only leaving two inches unsheathed.

“Oh my god, s’feel so good.” They Hadn't even started moving yet, but just the feeling of your holes stretching and contorting around their cocks has you moaning moans that has Erwin now pumping his own cock as he continues to watch on.

The pace set is rough and uneasy at first, but a couple of strokes later and you’re bouncing between them at a steady motion The sound of skin slapping against skin, grunts, and moans are the only things that can be heard throughout the penthouse and you wouldn’t be shocked if the people living beneath you could hear you as well.

“Look at you,” Nile lets out through gritted teeth, grabbing a handful of your hair in his hand and yanking your head back so you were forced to look up at him, “Stuffed to the brim with cock, fuck drunk from both of us.” And he wasn’t wrong, you were an incoherent moaning mess between them.

“Taking us so fucking good too. Like our cocks were made to be inside of you like this, such a good girl.” Mike adds on through broken grunts, eyes focused on the way your face lights up with pleasure every time he pounds up into you. By this point you’ve already accumulated a ring of creamy substance at the base of his cock, slowly dripping it onto his balls with each thrust.

They were so deep inside of you that through a thin layer of skin inside of you, you could feel the heads of their cocks bumping into each other from their respective holes. It felt too good. This definitely wouldn’t be that last time a rendezvous like this would be happening between you four.

You feel so full of bliss and cock, so happy and fulfilled being stuffed to the brim like this.

“You sound so good when you’re being fucked like this.” Erwin groans from the corner, hand moving up and down his erect cock as he continues to watch. Breath hitching in his throat the closer he gets to his orgasm.

All four of you were very close to tipping over the edge, not too far away from where Erwin was at orgasm wise. Each thrust sent into you became difficult to pull out the way you tightened around them and not to mention how sloppy their thrusting was becoming the closer they got as well.

“So fucking good, baby. You feel like heaven around my cock.” Nile’s words went through one ear and out the other. All you could do was moan in return, eyes closing shut in pleasure as you felt that familiar warmth in the depth of your stomach.

“Aht, open your eyes,” Miche ordered you, to which you complied opening them, “Wanna see those pretty eyes when you cum.”

Drool falls from the corner of your mouth and all you can do is leave it agape and let the moans spill from your lips as you squirt all over Mike’s cock, chest heaving with moans and brain shortcurciting as they continue to plunge in and out of you until your filled to the brim with their cock. A mixture of cum, your wetness, and squirt covering the insides of your thigh. Their own little cum slut. Erwin follows suit soon after, shooting ribbons of cum onto his lower abdomen, His blonde hair flattened out against his forehead that’s covered in sweat.

You don’t remember the events that followed soon after except what you recognized as goodbyes and promises how this wouldn’t be the last time. Erwin had showered and dressed you before moving you to the bed and allowing you to sleep it off.

Your body was sore and most likely covered from head to toe in bruises, but you wouldn’t have it any other way. You were satisfied beyond satisfied.

#okay now I can disappear for a month #Spicy.#erwin smith x reader #erwin smith smut #aot x reader #aot smut #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan smut #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #shingeki no kyoujin smut #miche zacharius x reader #miche zacharias #miche zacharias smut #nile dok x reader #Nile dok #nile dok smut

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energyanon · 3 years

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I know I've been away for a while, and I am still technically away, but this whole situation made me laugh so hard and kept me in a great mood, I couldn’t wait to dissect it and talk about it cause it’s all hilarious to me. That being said, I am still very much away, I have an event tonight immediately after I write this, and I have a whole weekend chock-a-block full of friends and casino nights at our house etc. I know there are still a million and one anons to get to, I know that there are readings that have been promised - tbh, honestly I haven't dipped my toe into readings at any point since i’ve been away and i’ve been feeling great about it. I’m also doing this new thing where I no longer attempt to People Please in my day to day life and that goes for tumblr too. I’m going to do only what makes me happy and do things when I want to do it. I’m gonna have a no bullshit policy from here on out. It’s a one strike and you’re out situation, full warning, i’m no longer tolerating or entertaining passive aggression, impatience or straight up rudeness. There’s the warning, it’s the only one i’m giving. I will still do all the healing/shadow work 101’s, and the other things we agreed on, especially since I’ve been gone I have found the importance on doing this work, and it’s one of the reasons why i’ve stopped people pleasing in general and when I say my entire life has changed for the better for it I mean my entire life.

This kind of thing brings me great joy, I think we should all be critical of the media we consume and especially when it comes to celebrities and Hollywood we need to realise that there is very little coming from them and their teams that are real. Think about the people that you have in your life and how much people hide, mask and curate without a team behind them. Now imagine if they did have a team. Honestly we shouldn’t be shocked that the celebrities we follow are 95% fake, because everything that they say and do are approved first by a fuckin publicist. Everything we read about them has either been done to make money or because that publication has been given money. With that being the case, how much of what we read is perfectly candid? So lets get into this:

I’m also just going to be Switzerland to myself. Let’s be open about the fact that I might be biased, and I’m just being a bitch. So with that, why am I thinking the things I am?

1. Why are magazines and articles done in the first place? News, sure, but it costs money to make these things and spend the resources and give it to something that will take up precious advertisement space, so this won’t happen from the goodness of someone’s heart, they’re almost always being paid, or they have some juicy stuff that they think people will want to read.

2. So, They need to get paid somehow - they need to pose the question then, will the article give them millions of dollars? Not this article at least, so that leaves the option that this is used advertisement space. This also means that this space had to be given to this specific celebrity over someone like Billie Eilish who has a new fragrance coming out and would sell copies if it just had her face on it, which gives more evidence to the fact that this isn’t just a nice little article done for my pal Henry.So where is the money coming from? Which team funded it?

3. If this article doesn’t have the purpose of making the magazine money then it’s for the other party. (HC’s party) Which is how you know that you’re reading a fluff piece and a campaign to make HC look good.

So then what was the reason for HC’s team to make this article? Well let’s look at the facts:

It had to be paid for, and discussed at length to feature him ABOVE any other celebrity. He has only the Witcher 2 coming up and that very clearly was not the point of this article. Usually if any PR is being done it’s surrounding the person gaining relevance, or because they’re trying to promote a project. This was done very very very shortly in mentioning HC’s projects, which aren’t coming out soon, they’re just letting us know that they are coming out. Not really 10,000 word essay worthy. So what was it promoting? Because the people writing these articles don’t just go their bosses and go “Hm you know who hasn’t had a 10,000 essay made about them recently? Henry Cavill. Maybe we should do that and stick our head up his ass the entire interview and ask many directors to comment outside of their busy schedule in which this is probably going to cost us a ridiculous amount of money” COINCIDENTAL that this article also came out as soon as Bond has started filtering into theatres and people are now ready to hear an announcement of a new Bond, and there will be a lot of speculation now more so than ever. No, this entire article was a fluff piece on why HC is the single greatest choice for James Bond. And honestly nothing else needs to be said. But i’m a gemini stellium, bitch, and it’s gonna be said ;) Because it’s not JUST that, is it?

Lets think about all the things that his fans and media have speculated as of late:   1. HC no longer is Superman cause of his fucked up relationship with WB.  2. HC being racist as a result of being involved with two racist women and never having ever really speaking out about WOC rights.  3. Him and NV no longer being together  4. Him being unprofessional on set and having a poor relationship with Lauren   5. Him losing out James Bond and that being pretty much set in stone that he’s not the dude for it.   Now, what are all the things that this article discussed? 

How blatantly were they discussed?   Also lets remember that nothing in Hollywood is organic. I feel like we know this by now, everything has a motive, it’s all nepotism, it’s all fake. But this is the most blatant attempt at it that I have actually ever seen and I genuinely mean that.  Coming in as a close second is TS and TH as the worst Fake thing Hollywood ever did. Baby, This is PR. All of the above were discussed with even an opportunity for HC to prove that he’s not racist by being fully in support of a Black superman. ““It’s exciting — Superman’s far more than skin color,” Cavill says.” And unfortunately, his team went so unbelievably over the top about it that they actually convinced me that everything about this guy is PR, and it took all of about 5 minutes to realise that, holy shit. That makes sense. Lets go through the article together, I’ll just touch on the best bits or you’ll be here forever. “Even early on, directors noticed the actor’s soldier-like ethos “What I love about Henry is he’s a very serious person who doesn’t take himself seriously,” says director Vaughn, who first worked with Cavill on 2007’s Stardust. “He has a military discipline and a soldier’s sense of humor.” They are really pushing this “My god is he perfect for Bond in every way” thing, huh?   And the freaking stardust guy?! He was in that movie for 30 seconds total Important to note: Once again in this interview there is another humble attempt at the “Fat kid” rhetoric. Another mention yet again at how nerdy the guy is. His team knows what worked with his fans and the people before, and they’re going back to it. MT isn’t working for him, he’s not relatable, so they’re going back to the fat and nerdy Cavill. Notice also how there has been fuck all about MT for months now. Cause it didn’t work. The WHOLE dude has been curated. Like the amount of fucking manipulation here is astronomical  ”There is still a lot of storytelling for me to do as a Superman, and I would absolutely love the opportunity,” Followed by yet Another mention on just how much he cares about Superman and how he hadn’t been fired and how much there is more to tell, and pushing the rhetoric that there’s a joker that exists outside of batman etc.  

“As I always say, ‘The cape is still in the closet.’” (Kill me.) I used to be happy for this statement and after this thing it’s just a really sad attempt to let Bond Execs know that he’s still very much Superman don’t even worry about it omg. I haven’t been fired, I'm still relevant I swear. MY god. Read it: “True to form, Cavill largely avoided engaging on the controversies that followed Justice League, such as the reports of replacement director Joss Whedon’s abusive on-set behavior, though he did acknowledge in an interview that the theatrical cut “didn’t work.” He now says Snyder did a “wonderful job” with his Snyder Cut re-edit.” AKA: Please hire me I won’t cause controversies look how incredible I am. Also the comments that have been made this entire article I was screaming from it. “He might look like he was created by a secret British AI program as a masculinity template,” JUST SAY THAT YOU WERE PAID TO WRITE A FLUFF PIECE. JUST SAY IT. Also, hasn’t HC been pushing the “I came from humble beginnings” thing this whole fucking time, and now he’s gone to a James Bond-esque education that Tom Hiddleston has been praised for in terms of his James Bond-esqueness “Cavill spent his teenage years playing rugby while attending the Hogwarts-esque Stowe boarding school in the oft-filmed pastoral county of Buckinghamshire.” Also. Just HOW many directors gave a fucking statement on the guy in this article?    “I needed someone who was born to play Bond — which Henry is [EA: GAG ME] — and then nick him before Bond did,” says Vaughn, who sees Argylle as a potential franchise. “He plays a larger-than-life action hero with a wink. It’s very different from Kingsman.” GIRL SHUT UP IS THIS LEGIT?! No one talks like this, this is a campaign with a bunch of directors being paid to say HC is bond. I don’t know if this is his team or the Bond team I have no idea, but NO ONE talks like this. Like no one of their own volition unless they were paid to do so would be like “Margot Robbie was born to play Marilyn Monroe. I needed to snag her up before she got a coveted role omg”

Then come the comments about him being the best stunt man of all time: “Cavill, his ear ringing with tinnitus, would go back up, again and again, privately drawing on his childhood military ambitions, thinking about how elite soldiers survive boot camp. “It’s what they call mental stamina — because what you believe is your physical boundary is actually just a mental boundary,” Cavill says. “It was extraordinarily uncomfortable; my body did not want to keep getting back in the helicopter, but I just kept doing it.” (Him once again talking about how professional he is omg.   Im Screaming) “He knows he is No. 1 on the call sheet, [EA: Guys I know the human anus can stretch up to 7 inches in diameter, but is he not extremely uncomfortable with this many people clamouring to be that far up his ass?] and there’s a great responsibility that comes with that,” showrunner Hissrich notes. “A lot of times that person can make the show a hurricane that revolves around them. Henry works hard to make that not so. He’s on time. He always knows his lines. He always knows his choreography and certainly always knows his action.” Jesus this is like when you write a fucking resume and cover letter on why the hell you should get the job. But this year, he went Instagram official with his relationship with Natalie Viscuso, 32, an executive at Legendary Entertainment (the studio produced Man of Steel and Enola Holmes), and posted a romantic photo of the two playing chess. In a rare public expression of mild anger, he also chided some fans for their social media criticism of their relationship. (“It’s time to stop,” he wrote. “It causes harm to the people I care about most. … Even your most conservative of negative assumptions about both my personal and professional life just aren’t true. I am very happy in love and in life. I’d be enormously grateful if you were happy with me.”) ^^ That, came just after they talked about how perfect, professional wonderful Henry is also a deeply private, family man. You know what that sounds like to me? “He’s also a loyal lover, fiercely protective, JUST LIKE BOND. PLEASE HIRE ME FOR BOND”   “The tape recorded Cavill’s contemplative pause as lasting 42 seconds, but I’d have sworn it was at least two minutes” Girl. He was trying to find a good answer. He went through his mind and went “which one is more palatable.” “  One coveted IP has so far proved elusive for the very British gentleman, and it seems like such an obvious fit that the biggest obstacle to it happening is that it’s perhaps too obvious. He’s got the physicality, the charm, the work ethic. McQuarrie puts it point blank: “He’d make an excellent Bond.””

SHut up. Please. Please. This could have been done in any other way, but instead it was done so blatantly and in our faces that I changed my entire stance on the dude.

“Look …” Cavill begins, then stops and self-edits. “I hate it when people start a sentence with, ‘Look …’ — it sounds like they’re lying about something.” He continues: “I think it would be very exciting to have a conversation with the producers. … In an ideal world, I’d never have to turn anything down. Nothing is off the table. It’s an honor to even be part of that conversation.” Wow. He hates when people say look cause it makes them see like they’re lying and yet he’s diverting from the truth which is this is an entire ass campaign to get him as bond so he’s playing humble. WOW. WOW. Just say that you want it so bad your entire team paid for this fucking interview my god. I can’t with fake humility its such a pet peeve omg. Also ^^ I’d love to have a conversation suggests that he hasn’t even been approached… ? Yikes. ALSO: HC posted on his instagram about this being a special one for him. The guy barely ever promotes his own magazine articles. It’s Strange behaviour. Stranger still that NV also posted it too, but we’ll get into that later. In what way. In what way was it special for Henry? Not at any point in that article was there something vulnerable coming from him, he didn’t make any new revelations, he didn’t speak about any important causes, he didn’t make a statement that he hasn’t before. The only reason that this was important was because everyone was up his ass and it was a blatant attempt at a paid campaign to shoot his shot for Bond. Here’s the thing: This whole thing would have cost a metric fuck tonne. There’s at least 4 different directors making a comment, there’s the article itself, there’s people being paid to promote it. Either HC’s team has pushed all the money they have on this or this is Bond money which could suggest this is a marketing ploy by the Bond team to convince everyone that he’s a good Bond because he has got the role, (which could make more sense as to why this was even done in the first place, cause why take this kind of risk and embarrassment that will follow if he didn’t get it, as well as the screamingly obvious title of the article, and I would love to believe it because if it’s his team it would just be too fucking sad hence why i’m even entertaining the idea, but he does also pretty much deny that he even has a chance later in the interview) However, if it is just his team... that’s embarrassing in itself. It’s desperate.  It would also make sense as to why both HC and NV made a comment about it. Because it’s fucking PR, and they’re in a PR god damn relationship.

Now on to NV. You know my stance on this. I didn’t think this was a PR relationship until literally this moment. but i’ve already shown the instances of every photo they’ve posted where the body language is off. I know with every fibre that it’s not love, i just didn’t think HC was sad enough to have this as PR. I wanted to actually give the benefit of the doubt. “I’m so proud I’m gonna cry” - Babe what are you proud about? This article wasn’t HC speaking on anything important?! Or is it just that she’s proud that someone is discussing him being a bond guy?

NV’s comment “most incredible man I know” 😬 is he. Is he tho. He never looks happy around you, he doesn’t try to make it known that he’s in love with you, he’s never seen with you. Or is this another fluff piece by you to match the article that “HC is the single greatest man in the universe”

You tell me. She had no reason to post the article. She really didn’t, they’ve made a point of being off the radar as much as they could, and then she posts this. That’s too suspicious for me. The comment about it, the fact that it was done at the same time as HC, all of it. Screaming PR to me. He’s done a million articles up until this point during their relationship, ones where he actually spoke about body issues etc, and yet, this is the one that she shares? The same one he shared about being important, is the same one she is proud of even when there is nothing to be proud of and nothing important spoken about? He says he’s into stoicism and a day later she follows Stoic Daily.  People speculate on whether or not they’re together, and like clockwork they give something that shows they’re in the same vicinity. Genuinely I thought that was maybe their own pettiness, but I was being too kind. Guys I had actual hope that maybe this was a relationship where he was lonely, she was lonely and they found each other. And now it makes sense too with them never being seen together, she’s alone in England, they’re not around each other, they pushed the narrative way too early, he freaked when it didn’t go as planned, she’s clearly being used to help with the nice guy rhetoric. The “see I don’t just date girls in their 20′s” thing. He wasn’t like this with Lucy or any of the other girls, and from what I saw with him and Lucy, that was body language that showed interest. Also. She has changed her ENTIRE image for this relationship. It’s just too blatant now to be blind to it anymore honestly.

TL;DR

I can’t 😂   I hope he does get Bond so we don’t have to cringe from second hand embarrassment of this whole ass thing for years on end. His poor sob story on how heartbroken he is that he hasn’t got yet again another deeply coveted role that hasn’t ended up making the studios billions of dollars.    His team are the worst PR people imaginable, it was too in the face and transparent that this was a fucking campaign. He really needs people around him who can push the whole “Just a chill cool guy who hangs out and isn’t completely curated” Cause what I just read? Curation. The whole damn guy.  It’s actually entirely changed my opinion on who this dude might be, because it’s clear he’s just a manufactured PR machine. I’ve changed my opinion on him and NV, I’m convinced at this point that it is PR. Fucking christ. HC call Ben Barnes team, whatever they’re doing they’re doing it well. This is so sad. TLDR on the TLDR: Corey was right, the dude is a curation of what his team thinks will work. And it has. Too bad they gave money to this bullshit and proved it to everyone. Remember that time I did the Durrell body language and saw something was off and then we found out that he had dropped durrell cause they didn’t pay him? The thing he cared so very much about and was doing cause he loved it and only because of that? Yeah. Anyway, listen, there has been times in his BL that i’ve seen actual genuine actions from him, I do think that there is an actual good person in there, but it has been meticulously tailored to what the public is seeing now that it’s just so sad that what we see is largely fake playing on some true parts of him, if that makes sense. Even the computer building thing. I think he did want to do that he had time to, it’s a passion. It was absolutely PR though. wasn’t just a fun henry project, it was show us your guns and do some sexy things for PR. it’s just not real. What do you guys think do you think the cooking shit on insta was all PR too cause I’m looking back on this and I’m second guessing it all after that shit show ^^

  Anyway, now I’m off to have our own home screening of the new Bond movie so I’ll let y’all know if I can see HC in the role or not 😂

Fucking. Sad. Fire the team, cause this shit backfired. And now, I will be away for at least 3 days. Peace ✌️

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lavenderek · 4 years

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hi, A/3 volunteer back again! i hope i can answer your questions properly, but i’m on mobile so sorry if i get a bit confused. it’s also going to be quite long but i hope you can figure out which questions i’m replying to. let me know if you need any more clarification!

1 - as tag wranglers, we don’t moderate content via deletion, etc - we just move fics into the correct tags, and it’s typically on a fandom basis (for example, i might solely wrangle for something like the supernatural fandom only). i’ve never come across ‘problematic’ tags since most of the time, it’s just sorting tags into like... more general tags? so example - someone tags a fic with ‘kinda fluffy kinda angsty’. we would then kind of make it so that tag redirects to ‘fluff with angst’, even though it still appears as the original tag on the fic. does that make sense? i’m also a little unsure of the other questions you had here - which is totally my fault, i’m in the middle of writing an essay for uni that needs to be in in like... 12 hours and my brain is frazzled - but if you were asking about a situation where if i was concerned that a single user had a collection of fics that were all entirely based upon something illegal and reported their entire account to mods, would it be deleted - i’m not sure. tag wranglers are kind of like low-level moderators, and we’re not what would typically be thought of as moderators since we simply reorganise content versus actually removing it. since the reporting process is typically through the site itself and is handled by an entirely separate team, i cant speak for how they think or what their process is.

2 - it’s up to our judgement as to if we want to report it, but again, the tags we wrangle are VERY general. tags like ‘dead dove don’t eat’ and stuff that are typically full of polarising content arent something i’ve come across, because i think they make up a minority of most fandoms when put against tags like ‘fluff’ and ‘angst’ and even stuff like ‘chocolate’, lmao. i’m not certain what happens when a report is processed and the fic is found to be removable - what i do know though is that with fics that are seen as breaking specific laws (i.e depictions of CSA, slander, etc) mods are often a lot more hard-handed for several reasons (reputation both within the community and in terms of the fact they could very much get in legal trouble). again though, i’m a low-level moderator and don’t see that side of the process. however, if i report something and it’s not taken down, i’m not implicated in any way. it’s been a while since i’ve been on the site and reported anything so i’m not entirely certain if reporting is 100% anonymous or if you have to supply details like email, but i think if you DO supply things, it’s to ensure you aren’t mass-reporting someone (bc i think that counts as targeted harassment). email is also possible to fake, so i think you can make the process anonymous if you want to. as for how often i personally report fic - not often. i’m a CSA victim (which is why this topic is touchy for me tbh), and i don’t like to go through the process because i find it arduous - you have to give an explanation as to why you’re reporting the fic, and i find it triggering at times. i’ve also never been in a position where i have found a fic while actively volunteering that i feel has been necessary to report, so i can’t speak for that either. all of that being said - i’ve heard of and seen on one occasion fics and entire accounts be deleted for harassment/slander - in particular, i’ve heard multiple times that accounts dedicated to purposely like... making fun of? or like technically harassing? kpop boy group members have been taken down because even though their content is ‘technically’ fanfiction, it’s obviously just there to incite hatred against a specific person. so, imo, if mods are quick on taking down accounts obviously run by 14 year olds in fandom drama writing numerous fics where boyband member A calls boyband member B stupid and tells him nobody likes him, i think they’re very likely just as serious about taking down more serious content. that’s just my opinion and my personal experience though, and it’s distinct from my volunteering.

overall, on the whole topic of CSA on the website - it’s really tough even just as a basic content moderator. there’s lots of reasons as to why people post it, and though people are very obviously welcome and encouraged to think critically about everything, it’s a fact that the topic is really really difficult to manoeuvre (culture, who is posting it, when was it posted, why it’s being posted aka vent fics, etc). as i said, i’m a CSA victim myself, so i understand the frustration, but it’s too nuanced and difficult a topic to be able to say ‘ban it all’. however, i do think the site is doing their best to crack down on stuff that is very obviously on there for one specific reason, and i also think generally, they’re changing things so people are able and sometimes encouraged to anonymise themselves by not giving any profile info and to protect themselves by turning off comments completely, etc. i find that you can make it really easy to curate your posting experience so that essentially, you can post but nobody can really interact.

3 - i like tag wrangling! i got into it because i saw a position on the front page of the site and decided to go for it. it wasn’t very taxing to get into and you don’t have to put much work in - a couple of hours a week is enough, and they’re understanding about work/uni/etc. it’s easy to meet other people through volunteering, and they ensure everyone is over 18. i don’t read through fic myself - just through tags, and then i sort them into their proper places. if something is tagged wrong, we don’t get in touch with the author, we just do our best to reorganise the tag so it redirects into the correct place - again, for instance, if someone writes a fantasy AU that they tag with ‘high fantasy prince/princess AU’ and that tag doesn’t exist, we would sort it into the main tag for a royalty AU or something like that. re: monetisation of fics: technically, monetised content is not allowed on A/3 - if someone is advertising their patreon or kofi in their authors notes or profile, you’re supposed to report it just as a general user. i think it’s because it puts the site at risk of being sued or something? but as a low level mod, i don’t HAVE to report these things unless i see them while i’m tag wrangling (aka i see a tag like ‘my patreon is XYZ!!!!! send me money!!!!!!’) and i personally don’t report monetised fics because ... i don’t find it a prominent issue, lmao. people are also learning to avoid it by being like this is my tumblr or this is my twitter, and when you click on their social media they link their patreon or whatever There instead. also, idk who decided the colour scheme! i think it was just like a generally agreed upon thing with the site designers. i also think there’s been convo for a few years about dark modes and stuff on the site, but i’m pretty sure the site has to get a few more things out of the way before they’ll prioritise that (i know they’re trying to work on a better moderating system for things like spam and harassment atm bc the spam filter absolutely sucks dick lol). i’ll totally drop a mention like WOW, wouldnt it be AMAZING if we could have this SPECIFIC COLOUR SCHEME, tho <3

thank you so much for responding!!! this is really cool to know, i've never even seen a post by an a*3 worker before so you're a total unicorn right now

heh uni-corn because you're in uni. sorry i'm tired too

good luck on your paper!

#haters #who is this even #long post

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ngame989 · 5 years

Text

Starco Fic Recs

Disclaimer: This list is largely curated to my own personal preferences (minimal feelings angst, minimal AUs, character development >>> plot) and has a fairly high bar for quality in characterization, etc. There will likely be many popular/beloved fics that I really don’t think highly of at all and therefore don’t make the cut. Feel free to DM me things you think I should consider adding, but I make no promises.

And of course I’d be flattered if you gave my own works a chance - stop by my About Me section for links! Thus far I’m particularly proud of the post-canon series I just started in collaboration with an awesome team, The Greatest Gift.

(Updated 9/26 - I decided to redo the list since people might appreciate seeing it in the tags again. To anyone whose own work is featured here that I haven’t personally responded to - I’m a tough critic with a lot of strong personal preferences so PLEASE do not take my gripes as condemnations of your skills - if they make the list at all, I think they’re worth a read!)

See below for the very thorough list!

Bolded titles indicate must-read.

Italicized titles indicate work is incomplete (in the case of continuous stories).

Asterisks indicate new additions from last update (3 for brand new, 1 for status update).

I’ve VERY loosely organized the categories by personal priority order this time around, but read the descriptions and decide for yourself!

Must-Reads

Forevermore - A Starco wedding story (with a bit of Jantom as well). Simply one of the best fics I’ve read in the fandom. I have no meaningful criticism to give it, and that’s the highest praise I can possibly give something.

Monarchs of Mewni (+ Traditionally Lovingly Yours) - A series of chronologically disconnected oneshots set years after the show. The backstory is very dated given how long ago it started (Jarco was kinda serious for a few years, Tomstar v2 never happened, etc) but overall it’s lovely. Has a bit of plot, a bit of Jantom, a lot of other character interactions, and a boatload of Starco - plus a Starco kid who is a decently developed character but also doesn’t just take over and crowd out Star and Marco themselves! That alone deserves merit.

Ruined - Aftermath of a hypothetical return of Monster Arm. Angst with a happy ending (and one of the few angsty fics that gets my seal of approval), so read this extra early if that’s more your schtick than mine.

study buddies - Y’know what, fuck it, I’m putting this here. It’s a short ball of Starco fluff but it’s one of the sweetest and fluffiest fluffballs I’ve seen in a long time and it’s very emotionally immersive and y’all needa read it.

*When Two Worlds Collide - One of my favorite postcanon series thus far. I admit I’m really not big on “magic returns!” plots in postcanon (which this has), and the sections that focus on that are hit or miss for me, but overall it has some of the funnest and cutest characterization and gags I’ve seen in any SVTFOE fic, ever. Absolutely worth following (and it has a fair amount of art to go along with it!)

***Star Chef - Oneshot (two chapters, so twoshot technically?) set in the same universe as Starlight Justiciar (see below) and is just a day in the life of Star and Marco. Goes absolutely above and beyond at emotional immersion and little nuances and details to bring the world and characters to life, which elevates it to something special to me.

Light of the Sun and Stars - (Promoted to Must-Read!) One of the few heavily divergent AU fics I care for. Marco is an orphan raised by monsters, and meets Star after running away. Just finished its “first season” and I've loved the recent chapters, am very excited to see where it goes.

*Don’t You Let Me Go - Wonderfully fluffy post-Cleaved Starco, one of my favorite oneshot “epilogues”.

i want to tell you (but i don’t know how) - Post season 3 fic detailing the growth of Star and Marco’s relationship. It’s spectacular writing and shows off a lot of the true depth of Starco beyond just being cute.

Adult - NSFW warning, non-explicit (aged-up characters). It’s a story about the journey towards Star and Marco’s first step into adulthood together - it’s not graphic and way more focused on the emotions involved, but it still is definitely more explicit than your average FFnet rated-T fic. If sexual themes ain’t your thing, I totally respect that, but this is a charming and funny piece of writing.

Lawchan’s various oneshots - There isn’t a great compilation for them right now so the best I can do is give you her tag for it and you can comb through it yourself. I like some more than others here, but they’re all very well-written - my only gripes with some of them are my own tastes in subject matter, so have fun perusing this on your own.

I Will Always Be There For You - A really pure and wholesome Starco oneshot. Very well-written.

Post-Canon Series to Follow

I figured with the show being over, and so many people starting their own series, I should include a lot of them here even if I’m personally not the biggest fan just to help gather them up so people can decide for themselves. Little bit looser on judgment here.

*Life on Earthni A to Z - Non-chronological postcanon slice of life oneshots, Starco and some Globclipsa and Jantom. Overall really good so far, one of my favorites in terms of direction.

*When Dimensions Cleave (sequel - Unforgettable Getaway) - Another postcanon series hellbent on bringing back magic queen lore, but it has some solid Starco fluff still. Credit where it’s due, the “Star constantly freaking out over what a horrible person she was” bit that I called preachy in the prior rec post gets somewhat less preachy and does end up actually going somewhere as part of character development, but I’m left scratching my head at how they all act sometimes. The good parts are certainly good, though, and in terms of quantity of lovey dovey Starco, it really can’t be beat (especially the sequel) and that’s worth something by itself.

We’re a Miracle - Extra adorkable postcanon fluff. Lighter on the “but ACKSHUALLY MAGIC IS BACK” stuff compared to the others, but it’s there, like almost every postcanon fic in existence.

Star vs the Sands of Time - Heavy politic/lore postcanon fic, not my fav but if that’s more your thing then great. Has some casual Starco too.

Goodbye Isn’t Forever - More POV dives into Cleaved.

Fake Proposal - Some decent jokey but cute fluff

The Stars Above - Some exploration of Earthni

New World - A bit over-the-top meta, but fun fluff

The Starlight Justiciar - Four years after canon, some social change plot stuff and some decent Starco. Not the biggest fan of some of the plot stuff but check it out for yourself!

Starco vs the Forces of Evil - Another collab fic/art thing. Fair warning, I really am not personally a huge fan of a lot of the characterization and plot decisions here (see my notes on Sign of the Moon waaaay down below) but decide for yourself, don’t let my pickiness dictate your own preferences!

Ready For The Future - Technically a oneshot (with some Starco) but sets up some Mina plot, if you’re interested in more give it a follow/review.

Worlds Together - Some Starco and exploration of Earthni.

Epilogue - Some Starco and exploration of Earthni.

***A Dark Horse - Has a few really nice lovey dovey Starco bits but also lots of superdrama with politics stuff. There’s a lot of fics here that I honestly just windowshop the scene I like for a quick fix of dopamine every now and then and skim at most otherwise, and this is one.

Revolution - end of canon AU where Moon is as anti-monster as Mina, dark as fuck. Only putting it here cuz some of y’all angstlords might like it.

Shorter Works/Oneshot Collections

I’ll Carry Your World - Big ole’ ball of wonderful Starco fluff with an important moment between them (written before end of show so a bit divergent).

***LoveIsTheStrongestKindOfMagic - Very short and basic fluff.

Starco Week 5 (Hugs Included) - Some of it is postcanon Earthni oneshots and others are from the Light of the Sun and Stars AU (see above). Great author, fun as hell writing style.

Fragile - Star worries about keeping her boyfriend Marco safe.

Complete - An older Star reflects on her past and present. Short and sweet.

Knighthood - Simple fluff piece on if Star and Marco got together after Storm the Castle.

Too Hot to Move - Star and Marco try to survive a heat wave on Earthni. Also funny fluff.

Marco Make-out Mayhem - Star really likes kissing Marco. Funny fluff.

Cleaved Together - NSFW warning, non-explicit (aged up) - Star and Marco’s first time. Very very overly focused on the whole purity/sacredness of first time thing, but still pretty cute.

Like Us - Really nice, sweet casual reflection on her life with Marco from a future Star’s POV.Toothpaste Kisses - Short fluff about its title.

A Friend’s Memento - Starco fluff with some reflection on the results of destroying magic

Plum Pie - Some goofy antics and hurt/comfort.

Not Losing You - A little dive into Marco’s POV at the end of Cleaved. Also adds a kiss.

We Belong Together - More speculative slightly angsty comfort/fluff.

Enough - A nice study of the emotions and thoughts during the last scenes of Cleaved, adds some depth to it.

Heartless - A bit of angst over magic going away with some sweet Starco comfort.

Together - Post-Cleaved Starco megafluff.

My Prince - Starco fluff set in a world where they were together before Cornonation.

Dancing with a Star - Starco fluff from alt S4.

Love in the Time of Pancakes - Written hours after my last update of the list, another little ditty based on the pancake promo.

Pancakes - Fluffy S4-promo-based little oneshot.

Hers - Hurt/comfort/confession-y fic, has some really nice moments and shows off a lot of how much they care about each other. Nice to see after such a drought.

Someone to Stay - Another hurt/comfort fic, nice and simple.

A Viola, a Violin, and a Butterfly’s Sword - some nonlinear oneshots about Starco. Some kinda weird directions gone in with the “plot” but it’s pretty good overall.

Falling - One of many, many fics from throughout the fandom’s history about Star and Marco getting together. Short and sweet.

forget about white horses & once upon a time - Drabble collection of various moments scattered throughout Star and Marco’s lives. Cute fluff.

The One Where I Thought I Lost You - Post-BFM fic where Marco realizes his feelings for Star earlier. Very wholesome.

christmases when you were mine - Established relationship fluff.

lightning in your veins, thunder in your heart - Post-season 3 established relationship fluff (slightly divergent, written before 3B).

once upon a december - Established relationship fluff.

Flags - Alternate rendition of the episode “Flags” with Starco.

Spells and Hot Chocolate - Wintry fluff.

5 Ways to Say ‘I Love You’ - Post BFM with some events in Star and Marco’s lives.

You’re My Wish Come True - This is just indulgent Starco trash. I won’t even argue for the characterization/writing quality, this is just a straight-up guilty pleasure.

Wands and Nachos - ^

The Princess and the Safe Kid - ^

A Day in the Life of Starco - ^

A very Starco Xmas - ^

Could It Be -^

All the times Star wore Marco’s hoodie - ^

Protect Me, Squire - ^

Crushed - Star and Marco both get turned down by their respective crushes and find comfort in each other.

Stay - Cuddly fluff. There’s another Stay out there which I frankly can’t stand with will-they-won’t-they melodrama out the wazoo, so don’t get confused.

Longer Series

*The Inescapable Us - Really tropey miscommunication will-they-won’t-they type of thing. Not my fav, especially now that the show is over and finished that leg of Star and Marco’s story once and for all (I’m personally WAY less interested in things that redo something canon already did). However, where it’s at now has some really good Starco moments. Fully admitted that I hella skimmed most of it until the parts I enjoyed, but And if you’re more fine with that type of thing then you’ll probably really like it, it’s well-written otherwise.

Together We Fall - Throwback S2 AU fic where Star and Marco go to the dance together instead and Toffee makes moves earlier. Gets kinda dark but has a lot of nice Starco along the way.

Safer, Sorrier - A recent rewrite of an older fic, Better Safe Than Sorry, where Star has to leave early to become queen and Marco is alone for a few months before they reunite. A very dated premise (post season 1 ish) but quite good.

Sugar and Spice - NSFW warning, non-explicit (NOT aged-up characters). In this fic, Star and Marco have gotten together after BFM, and a spell gone wrong leads to Mewberty relapses with obvious consequences. This fic has adorable Starco moments, but what I love this for above all is the other character interactions (especially Glossaryck and Star’s parents). This is probably a controversial add-on to the list, but I stick by my decision - if the subject matter isn’t your thing, then by all means avoid it.

Beyond Dimensions - Plotfic + established Starco where some ancient sorceress has to trap Star to escape and try to take over Mewni. Maybe y'all are more into plot stuff than me but the Starco that’s there is quite good regardless.

Starfall - NSFW warning, explicit (aged-up characters). Probably the most popular one to make the cut. Star and Marco are forced apart and have to find their way back together. Very old fic, lot of dated stuff here, and the narration and plot itself can get kinda questionable sometimes, but it has a lot of good Starco and some interesting plot elements that make it, in my opinion, worth a read despite a lot of flaws. A few epilogue chapters contain rather explicit sexual content, so be wary of that (and the epilogue itself after Ep 6 kinda transitions into a nextgenverse, so maybe just skip that entirely).

The Star Butterfly Effect - The sole fic on the list that is purely plot-based, with very little actual Starco development whatsoever. I can’t even really explain it, just give it a shot and see what you think; I was rather engrossed by the plot, and that’s rare for me.

The Princess and her Knight, Return of the Empire The former fic in this series is way more character-based, while the latter is very heavy plot stuff. Pretty decent character writing with some fluff. There’s a third that I honestly can’t recommend because I completely dropped it because it was just a nonstop war story.

Experimental - REALLY heavy, dark AU where Star and Marco are tortured and corrupted. It’s pretty decent.

Blood Moon Blitz - Alt BFM fic of Marco going to fight Toffee with Star. unfortunately dropped without completing, but what’s there is pretty solid.

Read at Your Own Risk…

The Sign of the Moon, The Dance of the Stars - Starts post-3A, involves the growth of Star and Marco’s relationship as they take on foes in and out of the castle and learn more about the Blood Moon. This series is rather… melodramatic, and there were some chapters and character interactions I flat out did not enjoy reading. But some people aren’t as strict on character interpretations as I am and would love such a long plot-based Starco fic, so overall I still will at least list it and let you decide for yourself. There might be a third entry in this series now, but I dropped it before then.

Photos - I hesitate to include this one here because the “Tom is a perfect angel who must sacrifice his love for Star” thing pisses me off. But just skip all that (and ignore the random “a part of me will always love Tom” line) and it’s a really nice post-s3 confession fic.

#starco #svtfoe #star vs the forces of evil #fanfic #ngame

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recentanimenews · 5 years

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The Most Popular Anime in 2020…According to Wikipedia

How can you tell what anime is actually popular? Your Twitter feed is a bubble, curated by people you’ve chosen to show up. Most anime fans don’t use a service like MyAnimeList or AniChart to broadcast what they’re watching, nor are those who do necessarily representative of the broader community. Crunchyroll may be the largest anime service for most of the world, but its own “Popular” ranking doesn’t capture any viewership from anime licensed or watched elsewhere.

However, our curiosity is more honest — and, potentially, more representative. You can fake interest on a survey or a Discord channel, but if you’ve landed on a Wikipedia page, there must be a certain sincerity to your action. Like a Google search for symptoms or snooping on an ex’s Facebook, when people query Wikipedia, they’re doing it in a semi-private sphere. Today, we’ll be using that candor to count down the most popular anime of 2020 so far…based on page views on the English version of Wikipedia, the web’s 11th most popular website.

Using Wikipedia’s internal tools, your reliable author examined and compared viewership between all 9,848 pages within the website’s “Anime” category, year-to-date as of February 19th. Below, you’ll find the top 10 most-read pages related to anime on Wikipedia by this standard, regardless of how sensical the results may have been. Let’s jump in!

Yusuke Murata (One-Punch Man, Eyeshield 21) Illustrated the cover for Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse's Japanese Home Video Release

10. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

The 2018 film Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is a sensation, and was inspired by anime as well as coming full-circle to serve as an inspiration to creators in the medium as well. Yoshiyuki Tomino called Spider-Verse “a really weird anime” during a 2019 lecture, but just because the creator of Gundam says so, is this really an anime? A quick “CTRL + F” of the Spider-Verse page indicates that the film was grouped within the category on Wikipedia due to it being included as one of 199 entries listed as an "Anime-influenced Western animation”. So Spider-Verse isn’t really an anime, but since Wikipedia classifies it as such (and so would many of your favorite creators), we're not going to editorialize this list. Its inclusion speaks to the growing bridge between animators in Japan and overseas, as well as the high level of excitement for the film and anticipation of its sequel planned for 2022, and I for one am thankful this is the one true non-anime page that made the top 10, particularly compared to other contenders like 4chan (Rank 18).

Promotional art for Dragon Ball Z: Kakarot

9. Dragon Ball Z: Kakarot

Our next entry is much more closely aligned with anime, but rather than being an anime series or film itself, Dragon Ball Z: Kakarot is a new video game based on the Dragon Ball manga franchise for the PS4, Xbox One, and PC released just last month. Of the 262 pages directly associated with Dragon Ball on Wikipedia, it makes sense that fans in 2020 would flock to this more than the rest, since Kakarot is the only new adventure of Goku and friends released this year. The parent page of the franchise “Dragon Ball” is the next most-read page on the list at rank 22, with approximately 4,150 readers every day. Dragon Ball Z and the most recent TV anime, Dragon Ball Super, follow shortly behind.

What’s most impressive to me about Dragon Ball Z: Kakarot’s spot on this list of Wikipedia’s most popular anime-related pages is not how high it is, but rather, how low in the ranking it’s found. Kakarot was the best-selling video game in the United States for the month of January, and the US makes up more of the English-language traffic for Wikipedia than any other country. Yet, the Kakarot game only gets half the traffic on the platform as the most recent Call of Duty game, which is several months past its peak Wikipedia interest and isn’t moving as many copies in stores. This disparity speaks to the varied reasons one would go to Wikipedia to learn more about a game, but it also may represent the relative staying power of Goku’s latest console outing.

Momoka, the mascot of FAKKU (NSFW), the largest English-language platform for hentai

8. Hentai (Warning: This link includes NSFW content)

Hentai, which Wikipedia encourages us not to be confuse with Hentaigana, is defined by the platform as “anime and manga pornography” - at least when the term is used outside of Japan. While not all fans of anime are also compelled by anime pornography, certainly, judging by Wikipedia traffic and Google search data, many are. That said, with a Google search, one would expect most of the queries would be made with the intent to consume hentai content. On the Wikipedia platform, that may not be the case - whether it’s a confused parent or friend, investigating an encyclopedic page for hentai may feel like the safer way to understand the topic.

Hentai Page Monthly Traffic on Wikipedia

Interestingly, 2019 was the weakest year on record for the Hentai page of Wikipedia - had it continued at its rate from last year, the topic would barely miss a top 15 list of anime pages. But in 2020, there seems to be a resurgence, though with no particular inflection point your author could discover, no major article about the topic that would inspire further curiosity from those not “in the know”. It’s worth noting that popular hentai related terms did not show similar dips in 2019 on Wikipedia, and the largest English-language hentai distributor, Fakku, saw its best year on the platform to date.

A comparison of international search traffic for the topics “Anime” and “Hentai” via Google Trends

However, in investigating this strange downturn, I re-discovered something else that I’ve always considered a novelty of data. “Anime” and “Hentai”, as topics, are incredibly strongly correlated on Google search. When one goes up on search, the other follows - and likewise for downturns in traffic. There’s a meaningful exception at the end of 2015, when hentai and its related terms saw a huge drop-off, but that may be more related to Google’s update to the Trends data collection method. That said, it’s hard to argue that anime has outpaced hentai these last five years, and that hentai’s downturn can be found both on Wikipedia and Google. While I don’t believe there’s any less interest in the subject than before, as anime becomes more accessible to broader audiences, and more people are on the internet in general, I would imagine a slightly smaller proportion of those who love anime are also interested in the style applied to pornography now as compared to 10 years ago…but that’s a topic for another day.

Giorno Giovanna and his stand, Golden Wind from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

7. JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure

Finally, taking the number seven slot on our list is the first actual anime series, and it’s a good one: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure. My instinct would be to assume that the meme of “watch jojos” has led many a curious Wikipedia users to this page. While technically this page is the parent page for the manga (and the franchise at large) and not any particular part, the growth in the franchise over the last few years has exploded overseas.

Starting with the anime adaptation of Part 4, JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure has transcended from one of the most meme’d anime to one of the most watched. From this author’s perspective, Part 4 represented a critical mass in the English-speaking JoJo’s fandom, where it became just the right size that the unengaged finally relented to watch this crazy anime that had been recommended to them with the intensity of a road roller for years before. Part 5 only ramped up this effect, a much more accessible story for those unfamiliar with the years of mythos that led up to Giorno Giovanna’s adventure in Italy.

There’s no particular cause for JoJo’s high readership on Wikipedia so far this year — no announcement of a Part 6 (sadly), no major shakeups in the manga, no more memes than usual — JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure has simply become an unstoppable force in the world of anime, and that’s a good thing by my judgement. The best thing I could ask for, even. Please, watch JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure on Crunchyroll.

Studio Ghibli's My Neighbor Totoro

6. Studio Ghibli

After our first actual anime series of the list, we return to another more meta-relevant anime page with Studio Ghibli, undoubtedly the most famous production house in the industry. Started by Hayao Miyazaki and the late Isao Takahata and famous for films like Spirited Away and Princess Mononoke, Ghibli has won at the Oscars, won our hearts, and given Miyazaki endless excuses to never actually retire.

In January, the Studio Ghibli page reached a 4-year high for monthly Wikipedia pageviews due to the announcement that the 21 films previously announced as part of HBO Max’s service at launch in May would also be included on Netflix outside of the United States, Canada, and Japan. According to Comparitech data on subscribers from December 2019, that would mean that even with their top country out of the running, approximately 55% of the service’s subscribers would have access to these beloved films.

The top-performing Ghibli works when it comes to Wikipedia traffic are Spirited Away (rank #18), My Neighbor Totoro (#29), Grave of the Fireflies (#67). Not surprisingly, these are also 3 of the top 5 most-watched films from the studio according to imDB, with Princess Mononoke and Howl’s Moving Castle ahead of Grave of the Fireflies in the list.

Various Characters from Interspecies Reviewers

5. Interspecies Reviewers

Interspecies Reviewers is an anime about a human named Stunk and his friends as they explore the world of prostitution via a series of brothels run by succubi of various fantasy races and species. The series, from its premise, sounds like it has more than enough potential to cross some lines in regards to what is allowed on television…and according to multiple Japanese TV stations and streaming services, that’s exactly what happened.

On January 31st, Funimation was the first licensee to stop broadcasting Reviewers, stating, “After careful consideration, we determined that this series falls outside of our standards.” Amazon, Wakanim, Tokyo MX, and SUN soon followed suite.

The reaction within the anime community was…vibrant. The news spread quickly— there’s not much better way to draw awarenesses to something than to tell people that they can’t have it. While some fans made the anime a rallying cry for various causes, the interest faded quickly after the engagement on various YouTube videos started to flag. In fact, it’s worth noting that Interspecies Reviewers is not particularly popular on any major pirate site that lists viewership, falling far outside the season’s top 10 on each of the sites sampled by this author. Had this article been written about January traffic alone, Interspecies Reviewers would’ve topped the list, but at the rate Wikipedians are trafficking the page now, it won’t stay in the top 10 for much longer.

Makoto Shinkai's Weathering with You

4. Weathering with You

Next on our list is the film Weathering with You. Makoto Shinkai’s visually stunning follow-up to your name. came in #2 last year at the Japanese box office and has since surpassed Aladdin to become the country��s top earner of a film released in 2019. Being able to wrestle anime theatrical dominance from Detective Conan in its native country isn’t enough to get this film onto the top 5 of an English-language Wikipedia-based anime list, though: Weathering with You has been opening in theaters around the world, with its impressive US release on January 15th.

With $7,710,749 in US box office as of writing, Weathering with You is one of the top-earning anime films in the country in history at #11 not adjusting for inflation, just behind Dragon Ball Z: Resurrection ‘F’ and Digimon: The Movie. Going by the average movie ticket price in North America as reported by The Hollywood Reporter, that means about 846,000 people have gone to see the film in the United States - nearly twice the amount of people who looked it up on Wikipedia.

Thanks to an excellent marketing campaign from the people at G-KIDS and a 90% “Certified Fresh” rating from Rotten Tomatoes, the hype for Weathering with You was real enough for its Wikipedia page to interest more folks browsing Wikipedia than even a controversy surrounding a fantasy race prostitution rating anime.

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba Wins the Crunchyroll Anime Awards (via Crunchyroll Germany)

3. Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba

Say “Hello!” to the 2020 Anime Awards winner for Anime of the Year, Best Boy, Best Fight Scene, it’s Demon Slayer! Demon Slayer became one of the most popular franchises in the world of anime and manga in the last year, with its manga breaking sales records, its opening song still topping Billboard Japan, and its unbelievable fan power around the world.

It’s been nearly five months since the TV series for Demon Slayer ended, but the excitement around the exploits of Tanjiro, Nezuko, and their friends has not slowed down. With an upcoming movie coming soon, it would be surprising to see this franchise lose steam any time soon.

My Hero Academia

2. My Hero Academia

There’s not much to be said about My Hero Academia here; since its second season, the show’s popularity has skyrocketed all around the world, and has only started to slow down recently now that nearly every anime fan out there has given the Weekly Shonen Jump standout a chance. Whether it’s topping Toonami’s viewership numbers or ramping up for its next international theatrical release, it’s hard to imagine My Hero Academia any lower on this list while new episodes are coming out every week!

Alita: Battle Angel Promotional Image

1. Alita: Battle Angel

Last year, audiences around the world were treated to the biggest Hollywood adaptation of a manga to date - Yukito Kishiro’s Gunnm was released as Alita: Battle Angel, a passion project of James Cameron’s that came to life under the leadership of director and JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure fan Robert Rodriguez. Now, in 2020, the film’s Wikipedia page tops the list of anime-related pages for a second year in a row — thanks to diehard fans.

If you looked at the rankings in January, Alita would still make the top 10, but just barely. However, an online group known as the #AlitaArmy started a kickstarter late last year to get enough funds to fly a plane over the Oscars requesting a sequel to the 2019 film. The quote for the banner was originally $1,810 USD, and all further funds raised were set to go to Open Bionics, a prosthetics company that worked with Fox to help create the look and feel of those featured in the Alita movie with a mission to “make beautiful bionic limbs more accessible.” The #AlitaArmy ended up raising $15,599 as of February 20th, and is in the process of passing along the excess funds to Open Bionics.

The #AlitaArmy Plane Petitioning for an #AlitaSequel at the 2020 Academy Awards

The airplane’s message was heard loud and clear: outlets from Indiewire to IGN covered the story, and staff and cast alike shared their excitement about the stunt with fans on social media.

John Landau, Producer of Alita: Battle Angel, sharing his support of the fan campaign on Facebook

View this post on Instagram

The Oscar for outstanding performance by a fan base goes to #alitaarmy

A post shared by Rosa Salazar (@rosasalazar) onFeb 13, 2020 at 9:17am PST

Rosa Salazar, who plays the titular Alita in the film, celebrates the fandom on her Instagram.

It’s incredible to see that a fan campaign was able to both bring such attention to this franchise with a single stunt that Wikipedia traffic for the page even exceeds that of the top airing simulcasts, but if that doesn’t speak to the power of fandom, I’m not sure what does! Alita: Battle Angel was recently added to HBO, HBO Now, and HBO Go, so if you haven’t had a chance yet to see the biggest thing in anime (at least according to Wikipedia), give it a shot! Your author was enthralled by the movie as well, and here’s hoping to an #AlitaSequel!

And that’s our list! I hope you all enjoyed diving into Wikipedia’s analytics to help better understand part of the larger interest around anime. While including all pages, regardless of whether they’re actually a show, studio, genre, or not really anime at all may not have told the specific story you were looking for, I’ve also gone through the effort to collect the top 10 currently-airing anime by Wikipedia pageviews. Enjoy!

1. My Hero Academia (466,536)

2. Interspecies Reviewers (428,338)

3. Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun (213,930)

4. Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken! (201,656)

5. BOFURI: I Don't Want to Get Hurt, so I'll Max Out My Defense (199,691)

6. One Piece (196,166)

7. Black Clover (171,645)

8. Haikyu!! (156,525)

9. Darwin's Game (154,975)

10. Plunderer (123,129)

Thanks for reading - let me know what you think of the results in the comments below!

By: [email protected]

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

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thedeaditeslayer · 5 years

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Bruce Campbell on the Extraordinary Tales Coming to 'Ripley's Believe It or Not!' Reboot.

Here’s another quick interview with Bruce Campbell on Ripley’s Believe it or Not! with one Evil Dead question sprinkled in.

Rather than the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis, it was a red cloth-bound Ripley’s Big Book that Evil Dead star Bruce Campbell couldn’t take his eyes off of as it regularly sat on his shelf. So, when the actor was approached about hosting Travel Channel’s reboot of the beloved Ripley’s Believe It or Not! series, it was an easy sell.

“It makes sense,” he said. “A lot of people who are my fan base are very ... let’s just say, 'interesting' people. It’s a pretty good fit for the extraordinary characters we are documenting.”

The show comes as the iconic Ripley's brand celebrates its 100th anniversary. Campbell, also an executive producer, follows in the footsteps of the likes of Jack Palance and Dean Cain, who have hosted previous TV series versions of the franchise that began life as a comic strip and has also been featured on radio over its lifetime.

Before having your mind blown watching the stories of the incredible, strange and awe-inspiring, we sat down with the new host about what to expect.

You got to shoot the show in the Ripley’s Warehouse in Orlando. What was that experience like for you?

Bruce Campbell: It’s as cool as you would think. Shrunken heads and giant people and costumes and molding departments because they swap out all the displays for all of the museum. You start to realize the extent of Ripley’s. The warehouse is enormous. It’s a very Indiana Jones type of warehouse. You wouldn’t expect it. It’s sort of this unassuming warehouse. The treasures they have collected really are amazing. They’ve kept them going and curated them. One of our best-known collectors in the world as far as companies that collect stuff. They still collect stuff. Just that part out of curiosity alone was just great.

You talk about the fan base you have. What do you think you bring to the table as a host that maybe even past hosts haven’t?

I know 'amazing' when I see it. As an actor, I’ve been around 40 years now, so I’ve done some stuff and been some places. I think I have a pretty good idea what is amazing and what is normal and what is not normal. Everybody in this show is pretty much a jaw-dropper in some kind of way from the visual arts to the physical impairment to ways they overcome it. Things they do to change their body. Things they do to their body. Things their body can withstand. There is a lot of natural wonders as well. We’re going to look at that as well. Just in the natural world, things that are extraordinary.

There is a great message here in today’s world about inclusion and embracing what makes us different and stand out. How do you think the concept for this show fits in today’s environment, within this YouTube age and people doing all these crazy things on viral videos?

It helps us find the people. We are grateful to YouTube and Instagram, who have tons of followers already. We’re going to be highlighting some people who are already popular. We’re just going to give them another platform. What’s amazing people have their own footage that they’ve shot themselves that is HD good quality. Everyone is a lot more media savvy, so it’s easier for us to find them and translate their footage on to television.

Watching the first episode, you see things like a couple getting hitched while standing on a thin net strung 800 feet above a canyon in California. Looking at the 10 episodes, what are some of your favorite stories that we’re going to watch?

I’m a sucker for the human overcoming adversity. The natural world is fine, because it’s natural and odd, but it’s part of this crazy thing called life. I like when humans overcome problems. A guy with no lower half to his body becomes an incredible balancing performer. A guy who lost lower half of his body gets back on a motorcycle. People who have lost limbs figure out ways to keep on going.

It’s a very positive show as far as what it says about humans. So, what is kind of nice about is not necessarily focusing on the oddity, but the triumph. It really is jaw-dropping what some of these people do. It’s hard to list them all because with 10 episodes, you’re talking about six segments per show. That’s 60 stories. I couldn’t possibly list them, but they really are impressive.

I think another aspect that is great is the educational component, using diagrams and information to give people a look at what’s involved for them to do these extraordinary things.

It’s infotainment. It’s more uplifting than down. It’s a sunrise show, not a sunset. We’re showing people who had a problem, then showing what they’re doing to overcome it or how are they going to meet that challenge. Some person who is given an amazing gift, what are they doing to enhance something to share or give back. There are beautiful stories here.

In additional to hosting this show, you’re getting a chance to further flex your acting muscle in other projects as well. You’ve gotten great response for your work on Lodge 49. After all these years in the business, what is it like to still be able to challenge yourself in new ways?

The joke is I started hosting industrial stuff in Detroit back before anyone ever saw it. I’m sort of back doing it again. Things are sort of cyclical. I used to host these industrial films, talking to the camera and how things are working. That was 30 something years ago, so it’s funny to get back to that now. It’s new material at the same time. Ripley’s is great. I just love the bottomless pit of stories we have.

What were some of the industrial videos you did?

I did some things for Chrysler. I did the cross-section of seats for the Chrysler seats versus the Chevy seats versus the Ford seats. We went through which was more comfortable and ergonomic. Things only dealers and car salesmen would see.

It’s been a year since Ash vs. Evil Dead has left our screens. Do you think we will see another incarnation or installment within the Evil Dead universe, with or without Ash?

We’ll see more Evil Dead, that’s for sure. There is an Evil Dead video game out. A fully immersive video game probably within a year. I’m not sure about the day. There will be variations of that. There won’t be the original Ash anymore. That guy is done.

How do you think the universe will change compared to when you started out and what we’ve seen since?

Actors have a different challenge now. Actors are now looking at tennis balls on sticks. When we did the first Evil Dead, we used live ammunition on set. So, it’s a different world now. Everything is different. Everything is fake now. You’re on fake sets with a green-screen or blue-screen. And you’re not talking to actors because they’re not there because there are different sides that have to be filmed and at different times. It’s a new skill. It’s much more technical than it used to be, which is fine. We adapt. We are adaptive creatures, but it’s not as much fun though.

One thing that is real are these Ripley’s stories.

They are. The human factor really draws me into this.

Ripley’s Believe It or Not!, Series Premiere Sunday, June 9, 9/8c, Travel Channel

#Ripley's Believe it or Not #Bruce Campbell #Evil Dead

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stereksecretsanta · 6 years

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Merry Christmas, @bloodgutsandstarbucks!

Read on AO3

******

Love Don’t Lie

Stiles set his paperwork on his desk and caught the eye of his new partner, Scott McCall. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Scott grinned. “I have the best idea.”

He wasn’t sure he liked the sound of that. “Oh?”

“Since you’re new in town, I was thinking, you probably don’t know many people, and you moved into that big house outside of town…I could set you up with someone!”

Stiles’s jaw hung open. “Like a date?”

“Yes! But don’t worry, I have someone in mind. It’s perfect, because he’s new to town, too!”

Stiles laughed a little hysterically. “No, no, I think you’ve got the wrong idea. I’m actually happily-”

“No, really, he's perfect. His name is Derek Hale, he works with my wife. He's new to Beacon Hills, just like you, and he hasn’t gotten to know anyone yet, either!” Scott’s eyes widened and rounded, shining like a cartoon.

Stiles paused. “...Oh? And he's single?”

“Well, we’re pretty sure. He doesn’t have a ring, and he hasn’t mentioned anyone. How about this!” Scott waved his phone. “I’ll tell Kira to relay the message that you’re interested, and then he’ll let us know if he’s single or not.”

Stiles covered a laugh with a cough. He could just imagine what Derek's face would do at that little invitation. “Sure. You do that.”

“Great! I’ll let her know! Oh, also, we’re supposed to go check out a gnome thief on Saundersville Road,” he added cheerfully.

“Small towns are nothing but excitement, eh?”

Scott laughed.

Stiles grimaced at the menu in front of him, trying to avoid eye contact with his…date.

An irritable sigh made him finally look up. “You shouldn’t have agreed to this.”

“There were circumstances,” Stiles hissed. “And excuse me, you agreed, too!”

“I only agreed because I was told you’d already said yes!” Derek set his own menu down with a slap.

Stiles pointed at him. “And you didn’t want to disappoint your new buddy, right?”

“Kira is my boss, I couldn’t just tell her no after she said you’d agreed! It would be rude!”

“Yeah, well, Scott’s my partner, and I couldn’t say no to him, either!” Stiles held up his hands. “Look, we just have to pretend to date for a little while, until they lose interest. No big deal, and no sad puppy eyes from Scott.”

Derek stared at him. “Stiles,” he began.

“No, really, it’ll be no big deal, I swear. All we have to do is go out after work together once a week for a staged date. Like this!”

“I hate going out to eat.”

He sighed. “Homemade is better, but seriously. Three dates is all it’ll take for them to take a step back.”

Derek sighed deeply.

“If you’d seen Scott’s puppy dog eyes, you’d understand.”

“Kira’s got them, too,” he said.

“So, it’s a deal?”

“Fine,” he mumbled grudgingly. “It’s a deal.”

Scott cornered Stiles at the station the next morning. “So?” he asked eagerly. “How’d it go?”

Stiles almost spat out his coffee; he’d briefly forgotten about the nonsense that was his life. “Uh—good. We’re going to go out again on, uh, Friday,” he fabricated, nearly wincing. He’d have to let Derek know.

Scott lit up. “That’s awesome! I knew you two would get along.”

“Uh-huh, yep. It was great.”

“Where are you guys going?”

“Ummm…”

Scott beamed. “You should volunteer at the animal shelter!”

Stiles’s face must have done something weird.

“No, really. I know it sounds weird, but it’s actually a good way to get to know someone. Plus, cute animals and doing a good deed! It’ll be perfect, I have a friend who works there, and she can make sure you get an easy job, you won’t even have to clean up any poop.”

“Ah…”

Scott’s eyes rounded just a little.

Stiles sighed. “That sounds…fun. We’ll do that.”

“Great! Also, we got assigned to take statements for a robbery.” He grinned and clapped his shoulder before walking out of the break room.

Stiles rubbed his eyes and pulled his phone out. He was sure Derek was going to love the plan.

Stiles was in love. Their names were Snickers, Milky Way, and Kit Kat. “No, really. I’ll obviously take care of them, and Scott would love the story.”

Derek rolled his eyes. “And this is all for Scott’s benefit,” he muttered. He cleared his throat. “Wouldn’t Scott find it suspicious if you adopted two dogs and a kitten on our second date?”

Stiles held up Snickers, a three year old mix of some very small dogs. “I want him.”

“Don’t you have enough pets?”

“Scott obviously thinks I’m lonely.”

Derek scoffed.

Stiles set Milky Way in Derek’s lap. Technically, they were supposed to be bathing the dogs for the coming adoption fair, but Stiles considered pre-bath cuddles part of the bathing process. They deserved it.

“Do we really have to continue this?”

“Oh, what else did you have to do tonight?” Stiles scoffed.

“Unpack! And I could have had plans!”

He rolled his eyes. “It is one night out of your week. You can spare that much time for a fake date with your fake boyfriend.”

“This is only our second fake date, so I think you’re jumping ahead calling yourself my fake boyfriend. Fake boyfriend is after at least three fake dates, and you have to walk me to my fake door, and give me a fake kiss goodnight.”

“You’re very high maintenance,” Stiles observed, kissing Snickers on the nose. “Maybe I don’t want you to be my fake boyfriend.”

Derek smiled pleasantly. “Then you can tell Scott and Kira the truth.”

“Uh, you agreed, too. You’ll have to tell Kira.” Stiles lifted Snickers to eye level, staring into his sleepy brown eyes. “Look, pal, this is gonna be traumatizing for both of us,” he said seriously. “But I promise, I will be here for you the whole time. We’ll be quick and thorough.”

Snickers didn’t seem to mind the bath; he even seemed to enjoy the warm water and gentle massage.

“Dramatic,” Derek muttered while Stiles dried him off.

“Rude!”

The next day at the station, Scott and Allison Argent, another officer, looked way too eager to hear about his date.

“It went well,” Stiles said, feeling harangued. “We’re going, uh, out to eat on Saturday.”

“That’s so awesome! See, I told you I was a good matchmaker,” Scott boasted.

Allison’s eyes narrowed. “I guess. But historically, you really aren’t. You’re almost always terrible at setting people up.”

Stiles laughed awkwardly. “Well, he was bound to get lucky once, right?”

That made her relax a little, flashing a quick smile. “That’s true. Well, I’m glad your date went well. Tell us how Saturday goes!”

“Yep, sure.” He nodded maybe a little too enthusiastically, because they both stared at him. “Uh, I just remembered I have some paperwork left over. See you later!”

“So if they’re onto us,” Derek said on Saturday, “why don’t we just tell them the truth?”

They were at a restaurant, since they had to eat sometime, and it’d might as well be on their date.

“Because you didn’t see Scott’s face. He was so proud of himself for successfully setting me up.”

Derek nodded while staring at the table. “So, do you like him?”

“Sure, he’s-” Stiles caught on a second too late. “No, not like that.” He rolled his eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. He’s the first friend I’ve made! I don’t want to crush his spirit.” He looked around the restaurant; at least four sets of eyes quickly looked away. Small towns. He smirked. “Hey, I had an idea.”

“Oh?” Derek did not look enthused.

“What if,” Stiles lowered his voice, “we kissed a little, here? I’m sure it’ll get back to them in a town this size, and they’ll know everything’s just as I said, and it’ll all be fine.”

Derek rolled his eyes. “If we kiss, they’ll know we aren’t dating.”

Stiles scowled at him. “What, you don’t want to kiss me?”

“You know-”

“Yes or no.” Stiles leaned forward and grinned. “Chicken?”

Derek grinned and leaned in, too. “Never.”

They were still kissing when someone cleared their throat right beside their table.

Stiles jerked back, flushing all the way to his hairline when he saw their audience. “Hey, Scott,” he said in a high pitched voice. “Whatcha doing here?”

Derek blinked. “Hi, Kira…Boyd.” His gaze darted over to the blond man and woman with them. “Date night?” he asked weakly.

“Nope,” the blonde woman said brightly. She leaned around Boyd and dropped something on the table.

Stiles stared at the matching silver rings.

“This is Isaac,” Scott said, gesturing at the blond man. “And Erica. We’ve all been friends since high school.”

“Hi,” Stiles said weakly.

“Isaac works at the Kenzie Jewelers on Main Street.”

“Oh?”

Derek dropped his head in his hands.

“Apparently, about four weeks ago—right before your first day at the museum, Derek,” Kira said brightly, “a man dropped off his and his spouse’s wedding rings for a cleaning.”

Scott picked up from there. “I was telling Isaac about my new partner, and how I set him up for a date with Kira’s new curator of prints and drawings, and you know, he said those names sounded awfully familiar.”

Stiles winced. “I can explain,” he said earnestly. He grabbed his ring and put it on, letting out a little sigh as it settled; he’d felt naked without it.

“Do tell. Please.” Kira crossed her arms.

Scott pulled the puppy eyes again.

Derek lifted his head. “Stiles didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.”

Scott made a face. “You could’ve just told me you were married.”

Stiles waved a hand frantically. “I tried! You kept interrupting me to tell me how great my husband was!”

Scott winced.

“And then,” he continued, “you told me his name, and I figured, hey, that’s fine, we’ll go on a date, no big deal. We could use a break from unpacking anyway. But then you were so excited that you successfully set someone up that I couldn’t come clean!”

Isaac let out a muffled snort.

Erica held up a hand. “So…Scott’s only success in matchmaking…was an already married couple?”

“Looks that way,” Boyd said. He glanced at Stiles and said, flatly, “He set me up with Isaac.”

Isaac pinched the bridge of his nose. “We all took an oath to never speak of that again!”

“The point is,” Scott said loudly, “you could have just told me. I wouldn’t have been upset.”

“I figured you’d just…back off, once we’d been on a few dates,” Stiles said weakly. He frowned at his wedding ring. “Why did the cleaning take so long, anyway?”

Derek rubbed his temple, avoiding eye contact as he put his own ring on.

“What, did you forget to pick them up or something?” he snickered.

“No, the cleaning only takes about fifteen minutes, maybe an hour if we’re really busy,” Isaac said cheerfully. “But since we’re the only jeweler in town, the engraving can take three or four weeks, especially near the holidays.”

Stiles’s mouth fell open. “What engraving?”

Derek sighed and reached for Stiles’s hand. He gently removed the ring and tilted it. “Merry Christmas,” he mumbled.

Stiles took it so he could read it. He smiled, then laughed at the engraving: Dramatic. He lifted his eyes and found Derek holding his own ring, tilted so he could see the engraving on that one: Rude.

“What does it mean?” Isaac asked. “We were all trying to figure it out.”

Stiles cleared his throat. “It’s the first thing we said to each other when we met.” He swiped at his nose surreptitiously. “We met in a bookstore back in New York; we ran into each other, literally, and I spilled hot coffee all over myself. I started swearing and…stuff, and Derek called me dramatic, I called him rude.” He shrugged. “We got some napkins and had lunch together.” He slid his ring on and rubbed his thumb over it. “I love it.”

Derek smiled at him. “It was supposed to be a surprise.”

Isaac winced. “I’m so sorry.”

“That’s alright.” Stiles snorted. “I get the feeling that secrets don’t survive long around here.”

“No,” Scott agreed, laughing.

Stiles leaned over the table to kiss Derek, because he had to. Then he looked up at their friends. “You guys should join us for dinner, since you’re already here.” He grinned. “We still have a ton of unpacking to procrastinate on, might as well do it right.”

Derek sighed. “The only things we’ve unpacked are the cats’ beds and food bowls.”

“Madame Socks can’t sleep unless she has her own bed, Derek. Tip can sleep anywhere!”

“Madame Socks is the oldest cat,” Derek explained with a grimace. “Tip is the dog.”

“This is so weird,” Scott said with some awe. “You guys are so married. I should have guessed.”

Stiles folded his hand in Derek’s. “Probably. I’m starving, seriously, if we don’t eat soon, there will be tears.”

Derek lifted his hand and kissed his knuckles. “Dramatic,” he murmured.

“Rude,” Stiles laughed.

#bloodgutsandstarbucks #stereksanta18 #*fic18 #*gifts18

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crashhale · 7 years

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Tagged by @fangfogartys and @bythesulfur-andthesea - wow learned a lot about you guys!

last (1-5) drink - water

phone call – chiropractor’s office because I’ve been in intense pain, threw my back out on Wednesday night… sleeping.

text msg – “Ok we are back! At houlihans now, eating, then taking nicole home, then home” – letting my husband know I’m back from the city.

song you listened to – White Iverson - Post Malone. Been listening to Post Malone for ever (like a year) now, driving my husband crazy because I am not getting sick of any of his stuff, like, at all.

time you cried – Yesterday at the chiropractor’s office. I was literally in so much pain I couldn’t lay down or sit and 3 people had to help me! I’m so much better today! My chiropractor is THE BEST!

ever..? (6-11) dated someone twice – No, fuck that noise.

ever kissed someone and regretted it – yes. Definitely.

been cheated on – I don’t think so. But who knows, and who cares.

lost some1 special - yes.

been depressed – yes.

gotten drunk/thrown up – yes. fav colors (12-14) (I think we’re missing some questions here…) GREEN!

in the last yr have you.. (15-21) made new friends/ mutuals - Yes

fallen out of love – no.

laughed until you cried – yes.

found out some1 was talking about you – yes. Old bitch at work. I hate that even when you’re out of high school, you’re still in high school. Wish everyone would grow up and shut up.

met some1 who changed you – no.

kissed some1 on your FB friends’ list – yes.

general (22-51) how many of your FB friends do you know irl – I only add people who I know and interact with, and like. So it’s not a huge list lol.

you have any pets – no... I want a kitty so bad!

do you want to change your name – No, I love my name. I just hate when people don’t listen to the whole thing and then say it wrong.

what did you do for your prev. birthday – I went with a bunch of my friends to my favorite restaurant and ate and drank too much.

what time did you wake up today – 7am

what were you doing @ midnight last night – finally sleeping because my back felt better.

what is something you can’t wait for - to move back home!

what’re you listening to atm – my husband asking if I’m writing my bio.

have you ever talked to a person named Tom – yes, I work with one and he’s really nice.

something that’s getting on your nerves - my back.

most visited site - tumblr right now… lol

hair color – technically my hair is light brown but I do highlights so it’s safe to say blonde.

long/ short hair - long

do you have a crush on some1 – yes.

what do you like abt yourself – That I’m not fake.

want any piercings – no. sometimes I want a nose ring or eyebrow ring or more ear piercings but I’m more of a tattoo girl so I’d go for tats over piercings.

blood type – O+

nicknames – Neno and Leno by all my family and all friends that I’ve had since childhood. Lenko by my mum only. Ireni by my uncle only.

relationship status - married

zodiac – Aquarius

pronoun(s) - She.

fav tv/ on-air shows - Riverdale, Rick and Morty, Game of thrones, The Good Place, Superstore... probably lots more.

tattoos? - Yes! Getting more for my 30th next month too! Can’t wait.

rightie or leftie - Rightie

ever had surgery - Wisdom teeth

piercings - ears

sports - nooooo

vacation – Where I’ve been or where I want to go? My #1 bucket list location is Transylvania

trainers – Allbirds - IN LOVE! more general (52-58) eating - nothing right now

drinking - water.

i’m about to watch - nothing I’m going to bed. But tomorrow probably Death Cure.

waiting for - lots of stuff.

want - more money, to move back home, to not have to work, to not be in pain

get married - What’s funny is I’m not someone who ever wanted to get married and I don’t really believe people need to be married if they’re in love but it just so happens we got married! It’s was a surprise wedding and we only invited our parents.

career - I’m in marketing but my dream job would be to curate for a gallery or own my own gallery to feature new artists.

which is better (59-65) hugs/kisses - hugs.

lips/eyes - eyes.

shorter/taller - Taller

older/younger – I love younger men!

nice arms/ stomach - Both please.

hookup/relationship - relationship.

troublemaker/hesitant - Wtf does this mean? have you ever (66-75) kissed a stranger – I think 2 or 3, all on dance floors.

drank hard liquor - yes.

lost glasses – yes.

turned someone down - yes.

sex on 1st date – yes.

broken a heart – yes.

had your heart broken – no.

been arrested – no.

cried when some1 died - yes.

fallen for a friend – no.

do you believe in.. (76-81) yourself - yes.

miracles - no.

love @ first sight – no. lust, yes.

santa clause - no.

kiss on a 1st date - yes.

angels - no.

other (82-85) best friend’s name - Katarina and Laura - I have more BFF’s but those are my oldest.

eye color - light brown

fav movie - It’s always a toss up between The Nines, London, and Lars and the Real Girl

fav actor - I have SO many, but I guess my favorite is Ryan Gosling. Some other faves are Aaron Taylor Johnson, Ryan Reynolds, Kate Beckinsale....

Tagging: @elegantmoonchild @mayberrry101 @shymeg @smelsiee @southsidequeenie @sweetpca - anyone else that feels like doing it consider yourself tagged by me!

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nofomoartworld · 8 years

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Art F City: Material Light on Substance, Heavy With Dick Pics

Jesse Harris at Toronto’s Cooper Cole.

MEXICO CITY- Is a bigger fair necessarily a better fair?

Having doubled in floorspace since last year, Material Art Fair feels like a totally different beast. The fair has moved to two lower floors of Expo Reforma, with larger booths arranged around “courtyards” for conversation and concessions. There are plenty of new exhibitors, and much of the work looks far more market-friendly than the wares last year.

Opinions remain divided over whether or not these changes are a good thing. Several people praised the new layout and expansion. Last year’s fair felt chaotic—construction workers were still putting the finishing touches on the build-out as the doors opened—with a labyrinthine booth layout squeezed between a bar/performance area and panoramic windows looking out over the city. It was cramped but intimate, with a relaxed, party-like atmosphere. Importantly, I found this complimentary to (rather than distracting from) the artwork itself. One of the things that impressed Paddy and I so much was the sense that artists and galleries were here to network and the culture of display felt peer-oriented.

Nathalie Du Pasquier at the joint Sala Seis by MARSO & Apalazzo Gallery booth.

This year, though, the atmosphere was tense. During the VIP preview, it didn’t seem like much was happening in the way of sales or conversation. Exactly two gallerists seemed eager to talk about the work they were showing. Not looking like a collector (apparently), even simple inquiries about artists’ names were often met with exasperation. Several exhibitors were so unenthused about their booths they seemed downright embarrassed. And honestly, I can understand why—a majority of the work here is kinda boring. Most people I spoke with conceded that they found this year underwhelming after how much everyone enjoyed the last iteration. My friend described many booths—characterized by decor-friendly small paintings and ceramics—as akin to an interior decorator’s trade show. We joked that so many booths with faux-naïve paintings of flowers or “kooky” pottery looked like set dressing for a late-90s sitcom episode wherein the comic relief gets her “big break” with a show at a local coffee shop.

Maybe that assessment is unfair—looking back through my photos, there were plenty of good booths, but the majority of pieces don’t lend themselves to much discussion. The fact that they’re dispersed amongst so many unengaging booths doesn’t help—maybe last year’s smaller, more crowded presentation distilled the art-viewing experience? It doesn’t help that some of our favorite galleries from last year didn’t return. But no one seems quite sure of why the mood and quality is so uneven. One gallerist I spoke with (who asked to remain anonymous) praised the fair’s new layout and centering of project spaces, even as they conceded that the show leaves a lot to be desired:

“I think some of the booths fell flat—I’m not sure why exactly but I think it’s a combination of the distance some galleries traveled, getting work across the border/customs (which is notoriously difficult and problematic) or if it was just a weird year”

And a weird year it is. Perhaps the near-total lack of acknowledgment of current events weighed awkwardly over the fair (some friends have said they spotted Ivanka-Trump-inspired art, but I must’ve missed it). It seems so strange to have an art event (which we once praised for being more discursive than commercial) almost completely avoid political topics, particularly one where pieces are sold in US Dollars as the local currency plummets, with a majority of exhibitors from two countries threatened by a militarized border wall between them. Contrast this with Zona MACO, where discussion of Trump and socio-economic crises where never more than a few meters from polite abstraction.

Birgit Megerle at Vienna’s Galerie Emanuel Layr

At Material, I felt almost guilty for the escapism of pieces I liked—which, predictably, mainly comprised some combination of wigs, dicks, plants, and neon. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of genitalia and houseplants (really, though, aren’t we all?) but it bothers me that these age-old, lowest-common-denominator motifs are the highlights of a fair with an artist-centric reputation at such a politically fraught time and place. Gleefully snapping pictures of crude dick-and-foliage paintings, I had the sudden impression of an ancient Roman libertine—drunkenly admiring a bathhouse orgy fresco while the Republic burned outside.

Joani Tremblay, “Storming the Gates of Paradise: Landscapes for Politics,” 2017 at Projet Pangée. Of all the plants-and-ceramics booths, Projet Pangée stood out as the best curated group show (and nicest!)

That being said, two booths stand out for their engagement with politics: Tijuana’s Periférica and Miami’s perpetually-on-point Michael Jon & Alan. Though technically, neither the curators nor the artist behind Siebren Versteeg “Fake News” at the latter had control over its political content. The piece is an algorithm which grabs images from trending topics online and assembles them into surprisingly nice “paintings” in real time. These are displayed in stock-photo-looking white rooms that evoke pristine domestic spaces, displayed on a monitor that refreshes every few minutes. It felt like a ghost in the machine was reminding us of the awful world outside Expo Reforma, despite everyone’s collective best-effort to ignore it.

Siebren Versteeg “Fake News” at Michael Jon & Alan.

Periférica is showing prints by Omar Pimienta, who works with passports and notions of nationality. Here he’s reproduced his childhood passport as an editioned screen print, stamped with the name of the fair as if it’s a visa for exhibiting the work. The artist also invites people to trade in their old passports for new “Free Citizenship” ones he fabricates, so anyone can call his invented nation-state home. The gallerist showed me a photo of his collection of passports, which is in itself an inspiring image: I like the thought that so many people would trade a symbol of their national identity for a piece of artwork.

Omar Pimienta at Periférica

Also at Periférica, Juan Villavicencio. There’s something so satisfying about how snuggly these wigs fit these ceramics.

Wickerham & Lomax, “The Ginevra” and “The Deana” at Springsteen.

I loved these Wickerham & Lomax purse-shaped prints before I even realized they’re named after two of my favorite people in Baltimore: The Contemporary’s Artistic Director Ginevra Shay and outgoing Director Deana Haggag. The whole booth is great, including abstract pieces by Sofia Leiby.

Chelsea Culprit at Mexico City’s Yautepec.

Another random/personal highlight: I was immediately drawn to this mobile of a dancer in platform shoes. Then it struck me: I once stayed in a friend-of-a-friend’s apartment here in Mexico City and snapped a photo of a massive painting that looked similar because I loved it so much. The artist happened to be in the booth and overheard me telling this story, and told me that piece was actually a “sketch” to plan this! What a small, great world.

Mario García Torres at josé garcía.

The excellent Mexico City gallery josé garcía also has this wig on display, from Mario García Torres. It’s flattened and framed, and convincingly looks like a delicate painting from a distance. I also recognized this José León Cerrillo from a show Paddy and I loved at josé garcía’s brick-and-mortar location last year:

José León Cerrillo

A model being covered in band-aids, for Ryohta Shimamoto’s “Adhesive Plaster Man,” also at eitoeiko.

Chez Mohamed’s booth, featuring Ren Hang (photo), Thomas Mailaender (ceramics), and Luka Arbay (neon).

This Parisian gallery is named Chez Mohamed, but what they’re serving is anything but halal. I respect the fact that they’ve fully committed to obscenity with such gusto, including a Ren Hang photo, titled “Little Buddha,” which features a naked man ashing into an ashtray that he’s using to cover his anus while reclining at another person’s feet in an unhuman-looking pose. Also, a giant neon dick from Luka Arbay. This is what I imagine the anti-NEA Republicans think all big-city, taxpayer-funded art museums look like.

Celia Hempton at Sultana.

Sultana presented a solo show of paintings by Celia Hempton, each one of a blurry man’s crotch, with titles such as “Romania 25th of May, 2016” and “South Africa 5th November, 2015.” The names and distorted quality of the images evokes homemade webcam porn, buffering as it traverses international boundaries. These are really nice paintings, each with their own mark-making vocabulary that suggests haste but thoughtful color palette.

Ryan Patrick Quast at Wil Aballe Art Projects, of Vancouver. This cigarette is made entirely out of paint (no surface). So it’s technically a “painting”.

Nando Alvarez-Perez at Oakland’s City Limits.

Pablo Ravina at Lima’s Ginsberg Galería.

Kevin Rhinehart at L.A.’s Grice Bench.

I’m ending on this Kevin Rhinehart painting because A) it’s one of my favorite pieces from the fair. Rhinehart is an architect who paints things that are a little fucked up, like these ruffled Venetian blinds. It’s so quiet but so lovely up close—down to the care with which he physically embroidered the thread running down the canvas. And B) because it’s a bit of a caveat: I almost totally missed this until a friend pointed it out to me.

I’d like to head back to Material, because I’m sure there are more small highlights I’ve overlooked due to fair fatigue and how generally stressed the vibe felt opening day (several acquaintances remarked that many people were concerned about lack of collectors, a noticeable difference from last year). Maybe those of us complaining about the fair are just disappointed that last year’s magic is impossible to reproduce. At any rate, there’s good art in there—it’s just in a bigger playing field now.

from Art F City http://ift.tt/2keFpWW via IFTTT

#IFTTT #Art F City

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princessofknights-archived · 8 years

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~1 Year Milestone~

It’s been a year??? And I’m at 330 followers now?????? Who knows why you all follow this loser.

Looking back for my godawful intro post, I was reminded that it has, in fact, been a year since I’ve made this blog, and began RPing.

I’m gonna get somewhat emotional under the cut RIP

Aaaaaaaaaaaaah thank you all so much for sticking with me, whether it’s been the full year or even just a few weeks/days.

I know my writing has definitely grown by far from where it used to be in this short amount of time–And my love for Saber Lily has grown far more than it really should have but now I have a cosplay and a nendoroid like if you would have told me that last year I would have flipped. But thanks to everyone who helped give me that initial boost, and got threads going with me when my writing was less-than admirable. I sincerely appreciate you, and without you, I’m sure that I honestly might have just dropped this blog.

But anyways, I’ve loved this blog and RPing as Lily for this year. Honestly as I continue to write, I feel like I’m writing her as more of myself, which I should probably stop doing. It just makes me far too defensive about her I think RIP

Along the lines of that, I’ve tried not to let my emotions or various other…illnesses I suppose, get the best of me while I’m writing. But unfortunately I wasn’t, and still am not, always able to. I know I’ve made lots of frequent and annoying little breaks and hiatuses, even if I told myself I wasn’t going to. It still annoys me to no end when I think about them, but I can’t do anything about it now. I’ve just let my panics and anxiety get the best of me, and I’m going to try and change that this year. I’ve already tried to take some steps towards getting better, and although they may not have worked, I’m going to do my best to continue to try. So I apologize if I’ve ever come across as unfriendly or too picky or whatever else I may have seemed. Know that I am sorry for seeming like an immature little girl.

I’m gonna spare you guys the annoying details and move on though.

I’ve made it a goal now to reach out to the mutuals I have that I haven’t interacted with or spoken to or anything like that. It took me a lot of courage just to follow people in the first place at times, and now I’m gonna stretch out that courage as far as I can.

Along those lines, I encourage everyone who wants to to interact with me! I don’t bite I promise, I’m merely a scared nerd hiding behind my laptop. And while I’ll say go for messaging me and all the like, just know that at times I don’t have the energy or confidence to reply to things. I in no way mean to ignore you, it’s just I have the social skills and capabilities of a stale piece of bread.

Great friends, 10/10, would love to scream with and RP with anytime:

@inverted-iris/@captious-carnation: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Scarfy where do I begin. Top tier RPer. Super friendly. Best senpai. I remember you first contacted me and helped me get some Lily sprites, which I was incredibly grateful for. Even though we really haven’t interacted much in terms of RPing before, we have messaged a lot. I really appreciate that you allowed me to vent to you, and to be emotional and just talk and give me support. Words can’t describe how grateful. You’ve certainly helped stop me from making some rash decisions, and helped me to start to try and make things better. (things are slow, but I’ve made baby steps!) AND THEN THERES KAY. SEND ME ALL THE STARTERS AND ASKS SCARFY. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT, YOU NEVER NEED TO ASK. IF YOU’RE IN THE MOOD, SEND ME 10 STARTERS OR ASKS OR WHATEVER. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH KAY! Seriously you do a perfect job with him, and it’s so much fun to have Lily being teased and bullied for once.

@grand-order-girl: I was literally scared of you for the longest time. I thought you were like a top-tier RPer (Which you are, don’t get me wrong), that I couldn’t ever dream of interacting with. But talking with you more, I have realized that you’re just an awesome person that I shouldn’t be scared of whatsoever. You’re just. Amazing. At. Writing. But you are super sweet and I love chatting with you!

@motherfuckingredsaber/ @motherfuckingpsychochaldeamaster: Same goes for you–I was scared to send in anything to you for the longest time because you just seemed untouchable. Like dang, you’re amazing at writing Mellu.

@motherfreakingtwinkaleidosticks/ @bloodyclarent/ @prismatic-homunculus/ @the rest of your blogs RIP: But hey. You were one of the people who helped kick this blog into action as I’ve said probably 50 times by now (sorry!). But anyways, it’s really fun to chat with you, and I’ve had a lot of laughter due to our various conversations and chats and all that.

@motherfuckingflatescardos: I still need to read strange/fake. I told myself ‘over winter break’, yet here I am. Knowing myself, it will get done like the night before my midterms and I’ll probably message you screaming. But anyways, it was super great to see you at Youmacon! It stinks that we didn’t really hang out for long, but that panel was still fun even if I was focused on not letting my cosplay break RIP

@motherfuckingsanechaldeamaster/ @rejectedheroism: Heeeey I always enjoy our threads. True, they’re mostly crack, but it’s fun for me at least. You can always feel free to throw your OC at Lily! Bully her. Everyone’s always so nice to her.

@motherfuckingholygrail: Alright so I know that we haven’t technically interacted much on these blogs but hey you’re super cool and deserve a shout out too. I do find you edits and all that to be really funny though. 10/10 best Seiahi-kun, would never give you up.

@motherfuckingshadowoftheheir: I’ve loved being able to angst with Lily and Julius! Even when they’re not angsting though, the interactions are still fun! I highly enjoy seeing you on my dash though, and enjoyed the couple of times that we’ve talked in some chats I believe!

@motherfuckingprincessofcolchis/@motherfuckingsaintofdestruction: I am aware I will probably be stabbed for this, but: You are so incredibly nice, cute, caring, and overall a sweet person! You’ve put up with my various hiatuses and breaks and all that which I’m grateful for, and I’ve had fun talking with you and chatting and all that!

@thecutestarcher: I’m so glad that we’ve interacted and made this ship omg. I wasn’t originally gonna ship these two, but I’m so glad now that I do, because they’re adorable and perfect together. But also! I’ve had fun talking with you those few times we did, although I think it was mostly on FGO and my luck with CEs and Sabers.

And to everyone else: @motherfucking-genna/@airgxtlam, @motherfuckingqueenoflances, @motherfuckingpinnacleplaywright/@motherfuckingheavenshole, @motherfuckingmordred, @motherfuckingflamemage, @porteur-of-arondight, @motherfuckingsanguinecurse/@plague-of-war/@ephemeral-gunslinger/@motherfuckinglegendaryking, @verdegenesis, @motherfuckingshiroupriest, @admiralsfleet/@motherfuckingkendoteacher, @ridehiswhip, @mortalshinobi, @apteros-pouli/@motherfuckinggandivadhara, @chimericlunarmagi/@equivolancillary/@fairhandedsaber, @odyssean-curator

You’re all awesome and important to me too! I’ve likely just run out of energy and memory to continue writing like this. But seriously, if we’ve ever talked or interacted or anything like that, just know that you’ve made a difference, no matter how insignificant or small you may think our interaction or chatting or whatever was! (Also sorry if I’ve forgotten some of your guys’ blogs if you have more than one orz)

And if I’ve forgotten you somehow, I’m incredibly sorry!

Lastly for tagging although tbh I’m scaring myself with this orz just people that I like seeing on my dash, and want to make the effort to interact with, whether for the first time or more: @sweetpsalmist, @pinksaltfreckles, @magnificentgoldenking, @solisnumen, @wolfiiisms, @ridehercrop, @fiannas-lovespot, @motherfuckingmagicalgil, @motherfuckingsonofsurya (If you want your tag removed, send me a message, please! I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable!!!)

And now I believe I’ve used like every last ounce of courage and positivity I have. But here’s to hopefully another good year for this blog!

#Out Of Knighthood~OOC #Knight's Announcement~Update #long post #/oh my god I wrote an essay didn't i #/sorry about that orz #/but still thank you so much everyone!!!#/but also if anyone wants their tag removed please message me!#/i dont want to make anyone uncomfortable at all!!!!#/i have no problem with removing a tag if someone wants

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thelmasirby32 · 5 years

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The changing face of search: Dynamic content and experiences that perform

As that last page of the calendar flips over, we’re always reminded to look back, refocus, and prepare for the year ahead. Take yourself back for a moment to the beginning of 2010 – could you even have imagined how much search would change in the last decade?

At a macro level, the last decade has brought about a transformation from search as a perfunctory information-finding task to a complex journey with many touchpoints across devices, networks, and channels. Simply browsing has given way to desires for the convenience of instant answers. As social media has been plagued by “fake news” and rampant misinformation, search has proven far more effective at crowdsourcing the verification of data, whether it’s business location information, answers to informational questions, claims about products, and more.

In fact, ten years ago marketers were hard-pressed to get their messaging in front of people who actually wanted to hear it. Today, over 60% of people expect brands to give them the information they need when they need it, and less than half of them feel that brands are delivering (Google). The face of search is changing and SEOs, more than anyone, need to track the trajectory of these changes to stay relevant.

How the evolution of the consumer is driving changes in SEO

Voice search is undoubtedly one of the most impactful consumer trends affecting SEOs, and you can expect that to continue over the next decade. Google first introduced Voice Search in 2002, but it’s only in the last several years that consumers have really grown comfortable conversing and engaging with their devices in the way we now do. People are no longer pecking words into the keyboard and hoping Google understands their intent, they’re asking questions and even having ongoing conversations with technology. Longtail is the new norm.

They’re not only asking Google or Alexa, either. Even though Google dominates traditional search engine market share, search is happening on platforms like Amazon, Facebook, and YouTube, too. Getting the answer to a single question might span multiple networks as increasingly savvy searchers compare answers from different sources.

Zero-click search

SEOs are having to adapt to a zero-click environment, where Google curates so much information that searchers’ needs are answered without ever leaving the SERP. As a result, SEOs are having to make better use of Featured Snippets and other space available to them throughout the search ecosystem. Schema.org has been around since 2011 but it’s only in the latter part of this last decade that structured data really became one of the core tenets of SEO.

Mobile experience

The mobile experience has been an area of focus for many years, but in 2018 it was made mission-critical as Google introduced the mobile-first index and mobile speed updates. Snippets became smaller, page speed became a ranking factor for mobile searches, and video became a far more commonly used content format in the SERPs. SEOs had to move beyond thinking of “mobile-friendly” only in terms of web development and consider how mobile users search for and consume content, as well.

Today, we’ve moved beyond mobile-friendly to mobile-first, where websites need to do a lot more than just work on smartphones. Mobile-first design thinking offers a seamless, intuitive experience with careful thought given to content, navigation and site structure, CTAs in the context of the customer journey, and more.

EAT (Expertise, Authority, Trust)

Many have long assumed that the Quality Rater’s Guidelines were the keys to understanding algorithmic ranking factors, but it wasn’t confirmed by Google until VP of Search, Assistant and News, Ben Gomes told CNBC in 2018,

“You can view the rater guidelines as to where we want the search algorithm to go.”

EAT (expertise, authority, trust) are categorized as “very important” in the Guidelines. This is not new or earth-shattering, but it’s clear that content quality and author/business authority aren’t going anywhere. Crafting authoritative content, citing reputable sources, developing your digital footprint and online profile, and being involved in your niche are all going to be critical in the years to come.

Machine learning, entities, and NLP

“People come to Search for all types of information to help them form a better understanding of the world and the topics they care about most. […] Now, we’re using the latest in machine learning to bring this approach to top stories in Google Search, making it easier for people to dive into the most useful, timely articles available.”

– Duncan Osborne, product manager at Google

SEOs are being challenged by machine learning on two fronts – the first, in how Google uses it to evaluate and rank content. But secondly, SEOs have a huge opportunity to scale and maximize their own performance with smart automation and tools that incorporate machine learning.

First, the October 2019 NLP-based BERT (Bidirectional Encoder Representations from Transformers) update, designed to use machine learning to help Google better understand the relationships between queries and content, rolled out affecting 10% of all queries. Google called BERT the “biggest leap forward in the past five years, and one of the biggest leaps forward in the history of search,” so you can bet this is an area SEOs want to focus in the coming years.

As for how SEOs can use machine learning and smart automation, I’ve written about this in recent columns; check out How AI is powering real-time SEO research: Insights and optimization and Five ways SEOs can utilize data with insights, automation, and personalization for more.

Technical SEO is as important as ever, but SEOs are being forced to think more holistically about searcher experience and the entire journey from discovery to conversion and loyalty.

Data and AI-driven SEO strategy

The IDC predicts that in 2025, 175 zettabytes (175 trillion gigabytes) of new data will be created around the world. As the role of SEO has evolved inside organizations, we increasingly find ourselves as the point resource for interpreting and activating marketing data.

In the coming years, we’ll have even more rich and diverse sources of data to draw from, too. For example, marketers now have access to crowdsourced open-source data via Google’s Dataset Search, just out of beta.

“The majority of governments in the world publish their data and describe it with schema.org. The United States leads in the number of open government datasets available, with more than two million. And the most popular data formats? Tables–you can find more than six million of them on Dataset Search.”

– Natasha Noy, Research Scientist at Google Research

Again, I can’t overstate the importance of smart automation for SEOs given the pace of the flood of data organizations are up against. Embracing automation there’s no possible way to perform in a real-time world without them. AI is enabling marketing to target demand, deliver on consumer expectations for real-time personalization, make smart content optimizations content that speaks directly to consumer needs at each stage of the journey across channels and devices, and more.

Video and visual

Video and visual SEO will be increasingly important elements in a comprehensive SEO strategy going forward. The next generation of search continues to push our understanding of what’s possible and develop particularly around how consumers find and consume multimedia content.

SEOs are now able to optimize for the awareness and consideration stages with voice content. Currently, Google Assistant is on over a billion devices and Google Home makes up 24% of the U.S. installed base (Amazon’s Alexa-enabled Echo accounts for 70%). Amazon uses Alexa as a loss leader to get consumers to spend money elsewhere on Amazon, while Google treats voice search as an extension of the search experience; as a more conversational way to find answers to life’s every need and problem.

Mike Levin, co-founder and partner in Consumer Intelligence Research Partners, said Amazon and Google’s strategies of offering lower-priced devices so people can own more than one in their home seems to be working. “Now, about one-third of both Amazon Echo and Google Home users have multiple units.” The report said 35 percent of owners have more than one device as of the December 2018 quarter, compared with 18 percent the previous year (CNBC).

Knowing that two of the world’s most prolific tech giants are duking it out to ensure there’s a voice search device in every home, car, and pocket, SEOs would be remiss not to make voice search an area of focus.

Don’t forget about your visual content, too, including video. Over two billion logged-in users visit YouTube each month and every day people watch over a billion hours of video and generate billions of views. What’s more, greater than 70% of YouTube watch time comes from mobile devices, according to YouTube. The platform is a massive search engine in its own right. Original content is a great opportunity. But SEOs can also increase the online footprint of their company or clients by creatively repurposing content to capture traffic here and point it back to the next relevant step in the customer journey.

The changing face of search puts SEO front and center at the marketing table

As the various facets of digital marketing continue to collide and converge, SEOs are uniquely positioned to lead. Last year (according to BrightEdge research) organic channel share expanded to 53.3% of website traffic. At some point in recent years, your SEO tasks could have touched on not only technical SEO and data analysis but social media, email marketing, blogging, PR, web design, and more.

The evolution of search is creating the necessity for a sort of Sherpa inside organizations; for hybrid marketers with equal parts analytical and creative thinking. Whether that person is in-house or a contracted extension of the team, the need for this bigger picture conductor who understands the challenges and opportunities of each channel is growing.

Source: BrightEdge

In this next phase of SEO, optimizing for search engines and optimizing the consumer experience truly become one. Business leaders will rely more heavily on the insights that SEO provides to make decisions in every department and will look to SEOs for guidance on how organizational data is used. As SEOs continue to bridge the gap between departments and disciplines, we enter a new era where the delivery of dynamic content and SEO is helping to create new experiences across the whole digital journey.

Jim Yu is the founder and CEO of leading enterprise SEO and content performance platform BrightEdge. He can be found on Twitter @jimyu.

The post The changing face of search: Dynamic content and experiences that perform appeared first on Search Engine Watch.

from Digital Marketing News https://www.searchenginewatch.com/2020/02/13/the-changing-face-of-search-dynamic-content-and-experiences-that-perform/

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douchebagbrainwaves · 5 years

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THE HARDEST LESSONS FOR MAKERS

Because he had grown up there and remembered how nice it was. That's been a reliable way to get rich by creating wealth, as a guide to keep us from wondering off into a swamp of abstractions. As written, it tends to obscure what trade really means. The problem is that the company has no way of measuring the value of safe jobs.1 The test of utility I propose is whether we cause people who read what we've written to do anything that completely took over my life the way a startup does. Creating such a corpus poses some technical problems. And, by no coincidence, the corporate ladder is the trend for takeovers that began in the 1980s. So the language probably must already be installed on the computer I'm using now, and so no matter how specific to you it seems. The real question is, how much is due to the creators of sitcoms or junk food or package tours, Java's designers were consciously designing a product for some big company in the expectation of getting job security in return, we develop the product ourselves, in a class taught by Sydney Shoemaker. Applications for the current funding cycle closed on October 17, well after the markets tanked, and even now I find it kind of weird. Unless their working day ends at the same time working at a low intensity for forty years, you work as hard as you can. I expect decomposing domain names to become more addictive.2

Over the past six months, I've read literally thousands of spams, and it seems to be able to write a program decides what language to use, at least, how I write one. The initial focus should be the product. That gave me a way to be in a situation with measurement and leverage would be lead actor in a movie. I don't think it has much to offer good programmers, except in certain specialized domains, it is not the scripting language of Tk. It's supply and demand insures that: the more rewarding some kind of lowest common denominator. The Copernican Revolution All of us had been trained by Kelly Johnson and believed fanatically in his insistence that an airplane that looked beautiful would fly the same way that someone might design a building or object should let you use it how you want: a good building, for example; these evolved later, after hackers at MIT had spent a couple years before even considering using it. One drawback of this approach is that you focus more on the user. Arguably it's an interesting failed experiment. They'll make sure that suing them is expensive and takes a long time to work on boring stuff. It's a qualitative change, like the temporary buildings built at so many American universities during World War II, they often don't get thrown away.

A reporter once asked David Beckham if there were any language problems at Real Madrid, since the players were from about eight different countries. But in medieval Europe something new happened.3 The software business learned that in the past taken weeks, if not wasting their time. In fact, worse than worthless, because once you've accumulated a certain amount of stuff, it starts to appear. If you draw a tree and you change the angle of someone's eye five degrees, no one wants to do it. For a couple centuries, some of the questions they did.4 In practice any program that wanted to do anything that required a commitment of more than.5

So a truly effective refutation would look like: quite general observations that would cause someone who understood them to do it well. Of course, the probabilities should be calculated individually for each user. The difference between then and now is that now I understand why Berkeley is probably not worth trying to understand. The second biggest is the worry that made the work good. But the staff writers of newsmagazines.6 It is a kind of whitelist and blacklist because they are in general, and partly because startups, like dogs, tend to be interesting, the kinds of programs they want to write essays, you need a window of several years to get average case performance. 14758544 valuable 0. Most programmers are told what language to use. A sinecure is, in any normal family, a fixed amount of money can change a startup's funding situation completely. If we think of the profiler as an add-on, at best.

An ad hominem attack is not quite as weak as mere name-calling and a carefully reasoned refutation, but I can think of two more things one does when one doesn't have much of a resale market. Though indeed, it's been a while since they were writing about symbolism; now they're writing about gender. All together my Matchboxes and Corgis took up about a third of your company, if they wanted to fund professors, when really they should be funding grad students or even undergrads. This is why so many of the current super-angels are looking for companies that could get acquired quickly, that would be a necessity for smaller fry, and for legitimate sites that hired spammers to promote them.7 Technology that's valuable today could be worthless in a couple weeks. But by the modern era such questions were answered as well as solutions. It's not especially inconvenient to own several thousand books, whereas if you owned several thousand random possessions you'd be a local celebrity.8 But in practice I don't think that physical books are outmoded yet. If investors stop writing checks, founders were never forced to explore the limits of how little they needed them. In painting, for example, it returned false for Montaigne, who was arguably the inventor of the essay. For the young especially, much of this confusion is induced by the artificial situations they find themselves in.

Notes

So if anything they could just multiply 101 by 50 to 6,000 sestertii for his freedom Dessau, Inscriptiones 7812. And it's particularly damaging when these investors flake, because there's no center to walk in with a faulty knowledge of human nature, might come from meditating in an empty plastic drink bottle with a lawsuit just as European politics then had no choice but to fail to understand technology because they are within any given person might have to give their associates the title associate has gotten a bad idea was that professionalism had replaced money as a symptom, there would be just mail from people who will go on to study the quadrivium of arithmetic, geometry, music, phone, and Foley Hoag. In practice their usefulness is greatly enhanced by other Lisp dialects: Here's an example of a company tried to shift the military leftward. I don't know enough about the details.

Many hope he was a sudden drop-off in scholarship just as you get bigger, your size helps you grow. A deal flow, then invest in a band, or much energy would be more precise, and why it's such a discovery. Super-angels will snap up stars that VCs may begin to conserve board seats by switching to what used to say Hey, that's the situation you find known boring ideas intolerable. With the good ones don't even sound that plausible.

What you're looking for something new if the public conversation about women consists of fighting, their voices will be. Patrick Collison wrote At some point, when Subject foo not to make Viaweb.

The philistines have now been trained. Particularly since many causes of poverty I just wasn't willing to put in the old one was nothing special.

You know in the old one. Spices are also startlingly popular on Delicious, but historical abuses are easier for us, because any story that makes curators and dealers use neutral-sounding nonsense seems to have been a good plan in 2001, but when that happens, it would annoy our competitor more if we couldn't decide between two alternatives, we'd be interested in you, what that means having type II startup, and try another approach. They seem to like to fight back themselves.

There are a handful of companies to build their sites.

Indifference, mainly. Perhaps the solution is not one of the fake leading the fake. The next time you raise money after Demo Day pitch, the top stories were de facto chosen by human editors. Different kinds of menial work early in the next legitimate email was a kid that you'd want to help the company.

Particularly since economic inequality start to spread the story. See particularly the mail by Anton van Straaten on semantic compression. They could make it a function of revenues, and they unanimously said yes.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #matter #era #airplane #Real #software #bottle #startups #Indifference #while

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survivingart · 5 years

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POLISHING YOUR STORY (THE ARTIST STATEMENT)

Artist statements, even though they might appear like a load of pretentious art-talk (which many of them sadly are), serve a very important purpose: presenting your passion in a bite-sized package, to be easily consumed and understood by the reader or listener (you can, and should know how to pitch them too).

But what many of us present as an artist statement is usually exactly the opposite of what it should be; we focus on intellectually sounding words and sentences like this: “As wavering phenomena become rediscovered through subversive personal practices, the observer is left with an awareness of the boundaries of our era.”, rather than actually trying to communicate clearly.

And taking the time to create a great artist statement will also help you clarify your wording, so you can give a short and captivating presentation anytime you find yourself in front of an interested buyer, are giving an interview or just get asked by a random person at a party somewhere about what you do.

The worst thing to do when casually asked about what kind of art you make, is to go rambling on about your work for half an hour and spewing random artist’s names and isms with no head or tail. Again, the goal is to start with small bite-sized pieces of information that are easy to consume and intrigue the listener to want to know more, not your subconsciousness going full monty.

A FEW THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND:

Be genuine and sincere.

This is the most important one of all. Never feel like you need to defend your right to make art; regardless if you only paint pretty flowers because you like pretty flowers or if you are composing some conceptual piece that will explain the meaning of life itself, what you do is your choice so tell it how it really is. There is absolutely no need for big words and fake concepts.

Short and sweet; 3 – 5 sentences is ideal.

It can be longer if you really want to, though I couldn’t recommend it. The important thing to keep in mind is not to write half a page.

Clear and simple language.

Regardless of who your target audience is and what you do, make your artist statement understandable to even the people that don’t know anything about art. Especially if your work focuses on being beautiful, rather than conceptual. Truth be told, nobody likes to feel dumber than the person they are speaking to and if your goal is to get them even close to as excited about what you do as you are yourself, it might be better to talk to them like you would to a curious friend rather than a judging professor.

Base your language on evoking emotions, not just intellectual concepts.

Easy for anyone focusing on beauty or any other emotion-evoking art, but even conceptual artists can present their ideas by building on emotions. Think about it; your artist statement should intrigue the reader to become curious about your work and give them some sort of key to be able to understand it better. And curiosity is an emotion, not a mental state — nobody thinks they’re curious, they feel curious.

No comparisons to other artists, living or dead.

The fact that you’re trying to make your work more understandable by comparing it to someone else — usually a more popular and successful artist — is a bad move. Not only are you passively implying unoriginality, but unless you’re comparing your work to Picasso (and you shouldn’t), there’s a big probability that people just won’t know the artists you’re mentioning.

Note that comparing your work to other artists is a wonderful and necessary tool when figuring out your style and creative toolkit, but as such, comparisons should be done in the studio and while doing research, not as part of a presentation or sales pitch.

Nobody cares about technicalities or tools.

If you’re a landscape painter, talk about why you’re drawn to nature, not about the fact that you use oils instead of acrylics because they blend better. But you can always use materials to strengthen your narrative: oils are an old, slow drying medium and can allow for a much more mediative and relaxed workflow, thus complementing nature’s unhurried pace, compared to our fast-paced lives. But only if this is really why you chose to start painting landscapes in oil, don’t make things up because they sound nice.

Maybe the only time it actually is appropriate to talk about the tools is when you are using a rare, obscure or otherwise exciting process or material. It could be cutting edge stuff like Virtual Reality or blockchain tech or wet plate collodion photography (an almost alchemistic process that is quite hard to do and regarded highly by hipsters around the world).

Review your statement as you progress in your work.

Be it quarterly or yearly or some other period of time, the point is not to write your artist statement once and then leave it be for 20 years. It’s also a nice reality check to sit down and think about what your work is about and if anything has changed since the last time you wrote it.

And for all the times you really want to go hot-air-ballooning with words, you can visit my Artist Statement Generator and experience the magic of semi-randomness in action.

HINT: A good way to tell if your artist statement is OK or not; if it looks like the one you can generate in the link above, it probably shouldn’t be on your CV or portfolio.

GETTING YOUR STORY STRAIGHT (YOUR PERSONAL BRAND)

Since the beginning of human creation, art has been evolving in a more or less linear fashion. This is especially obvious in the era of isms; starting with the old impressionists, evolved by Henri Matisse and the other fauvists, and the expanded freedom of colour and form that eventually lead to cubism, futurism and abstraction.

Due to a great lack of functional means of communication, artists all over the world took much longer to evolve their styles and to find new inspirations for their work. Picasso had no other means to come in contact with a totally foreign culture than by visiting a museum exhibit. And it took him a long time to get his imagination juices flowing enough to be able to produce his masterpiece The Young Ladies of Avignon, that eventually lead to a revolution in art.

But now, with the power of the internet our playing field has been broadened from a straight line into a worldwide area of everything goes.

If one wishes to decorate his or her home with some fine art — from bio art to classical realism — today one can find almost anything online. And with such an abundance of art, it does bring up the question of how to stand out from the crowd?

WHAT YOU CAN DO:

IF YOU WANT TO GET EXHIBITED:

The art market is a volatile place for investors, and these are the people gallerists cater to, so there are certain check boxes your work has to tick in order for them to decide to sign and represent you and your work.

Having a regular production is the best sign for a curator to know that you’re serious about your work.

If you only create one work a quarter, your chances of being perceived as a viable candidate are much smaller than if you have a regular output of work. It doesn’t have to be one work a day — unless that’s your thing of course — but having a history of regularity is one of the most important traits an artist can have for a collector or gallerist.

Curators tend to look at the whole oeuvre — the whole body of work any particular artist has produced over the years.

Today, it isn’t as much about one work, or even one exhibition — what matters in the long run is the totality of our production. Rather than focusing on the importance of each piece we make, it’s much better to take a step back and observe it in the context of everything we have ever done.

Questions you could ask yourself that could help you create a coherent body of work:

Does it brings anything to the story of who you are and what you’re are about? Does it complement or juxtapose the works that came before it? Does it maybe break a certain “tradition” of motifs you had previously been using in your work? Are you becoming more serious, more cynical or more playful in the way you tell your stories? …

A brand is only as strong as its presence in the lives of its customers.

Regardless how much competition we face as creatives, how many applications, CVs and portfolios the galleries we all are trying to get in receive in a day (usually a lot), the decision of who gets signed and who is left on the applications pile of the gallerist’s desk is mostly decided by a simple question: “Do they know us?”

If we want to get into a gallery, it is imperative to be present at their exhibition openings and talks, to mingle with the people in charge and slowly become part of their circle. This is probably incredibly obvious, but a lot of us are guilty of not showing up in person, when this is actually what matters the most.

Build relationships with people, regardless if they’re the owner, head curator or just answer the phone.

When just starting out, our chances of just popping up at an opening of a gallery that we have been eyeing for a while and getting friendly with the curator or owner aren’t really great. There’s a social divide between freshly baked art students and prominent art world figures, and to say it takes courage to just get up to one and start talking is an understatement.

But we can start out by getting to know the people working there; maybe we know somebody who is now working the reception or handling their social media. They of course won’t be able to arrange a meeting, but could share some valuable information about what is going on inside the gallery.

There’s really no better insider than an intern on coffee duty — they might not be in charge, but they do hear and see a lot about what is going on inside the institution. Also, having friends in the field is always a wonderful thing to have, so build sincere relationships, not just means to an end.

KEEP IN MIND: Public institutions, unlike private galleries, do not have to be profitable to stay afloat, so if you are living in an area where the art market isn’t as strong as in New York or London and most of the galleries are publicly funded, getting exhibited there requires a different tactical approach.

If for example you create more conceptual pieces, that aren’t as focused on being aesthetically pleasing but rather propagate a message — like political and other critical art — public institutions tend to be a better target as they won’t judge your work by the merit of how well it could sell, but rather on the power and importance of your message.

Be it public or private, before applying to any institution for an exhibition, the best thing is to first asses what their goal is; is it making more profit than last year, is it fighting some social injustice or just showing beautiful work. If you can find their basic intention, you will have a much easier time aligning your story and your work with theirs and finding the common ground from which to build your arguments and getting their attention.

IF YOU WANT TO SELL YOUR WORK:

Similar to getting a show in a gallery, getting a sale requires us to be regular producers. But unlike gallerists, that care a lot about our work’s future worth, followers and collectors usually don’t buy our art because of investment reasons, but because they like it. So regularity here is merely a means to show up and build public presence. The more we create, the more we are able to be present on social media for example, and our chances to be seen by potential buyers greatly increase.

The same goes for having a coherent body of work. Here the emphasis isn’t on showing a maturely developed personal style that is important for being taken seriously by gallerists of any medium or large institution, but the mere fact that only by being consistent and coherent in our work are we able to create a personal brand for our customers.

You don’t buy the new Stephen King novel because you are expecting a romantic comedy and you don’t read J. K. Rowling because of her knowledge of biochemistry. Each creator has their own body of work, distinct from everybody else and thus people learn to expect a certain kind of art from any one of them. This is really important, because it’s the cornerstone of any great personal brand.

And there are other things to keep in mind:

Personal brands are almost as important as the products we produce.

It’s important to hone your skills, but working too hard on figuring out your style and technical skill without giving your audience the chance to also get to know you might not be the best tactic.

Each of us has a unique story to tell, a unique background of why we do what we do. Why not focus on that, rather than being just another still life painter or just another one using resin to make his or her work. In today’s oversaturated world it shouldn’t be the materials or the singular creations we make that define us and our personal creative brand, but the amalgamation of everything we stand for, everything we are.

The main point of any product, even an art piece, is to fulfil a need and satisfy a certain want that people might have.

Either to make their lives easier, richer or to give them the ability to express themselves even if their own skills don’t allow them to, art should satisfy a certain want.

This doesn’t mean that you should stop doing what you like and focus exclusively on impressionist portraits, just because they’re in vogue right now, but that you need to focus your attention on the people that would like what you do.

HINT: Facebook Ads is wonderful, because it lets you target a specific audience — even to the level of “somebody that works at a particular company” — so you can really focus on only the people that you believe share your love towards a specific style of art.

Regardless of whether you wish to get signed by a gallery or attack the market directly via online stores and social media, don’t think too much about how your work looks compared to all the other similar creators, focus instead on your message and personal story.

The issue of uniqueness could once be resolved merely through personal style; Renoir was different from Matisse, Gauguin nothing like Cézanne … The number of artists an average collector or gallery visitor knew, was more in the hundreds and differentiation amongst them wasn’t as hard back then as it is today.

Now you can open Saatchi Online and find millions of artists, many of them producing quite similar works, so style doesn’t really help as much as it once did. The only real differentiator between two similarly looking artworks is the story behind them and the artist who created them.

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#artist life #contemporary art #surviving art #make art everyday #blog

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meta-shadowsong · 5 years

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mousedetective asked: Star Wars for the fandom thing?

As a note before I get started–I was technically in this fandom (to the point of writing fic for it even) when the prequel trilogy was in the process of coming out and I was in middle/early high school, then fell out of the fandom for reasons I only vaguely recall, and got drawn back in by TFA. So some of my answers will reflect that earlier period, and some of them will be just focused on since coming back since I don’t remember all the thoughts/feelings I had way back when.

the first character i ever fell in love with: …probably Padme? I legit do not remember, even for the more recent time around, but that sounds right for the first one.

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: Qui-Gon. He tends to come across as a self-righteous jerk to me a lot of the time. There’s been a couple pieces (mostly fanworks, mostly where he’s supporting cast) where that’s softened, but generally I’m not a fan.

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: Shmi/Qui-Gon. See above. I definitely remember shipping them in my first fandom experience, but now I feel that she deserves better.

my ultimate favorite character™: …frick, I can’t choose, there are too many. Like, even if I limit myself to one time period/series, it’s hard. I mean, most of the PT/TCW primary characters are up there and I straight-up can’t choose, but special mentions would probably go to the Trio and Ahsoka and Ventress and Bail. For Rebels, Sabine and Hera and Kallus, OT era probably Leia and Lando, ST Leia again and Rose and the Trio…if we’re including Legends I have to throw in Pellaeon and Mara Jade and Darth Zannah and… ….uh. Yeah. You see my problem here.

prettiest character: Another hard one. Um. Padme, probably, for the ladies. For the gentlemen, Anakin or Poe.

my most hated character: Again, I’m not sure? I mean I’ll probably go with Qui-Gon by default since, again, not a fan, but even then, I’m not sure ‘hated’ is the right word? Probably ‘least liked’ would be better, tbh. Wait, I just remembered Rush Clovis. Dude makes my skin crawl.

my OTP: Anidala, ObiAniDala, or Kalluzeb. …yay, a question I can actually answer in a reasonable number of words! lol.

my NOTP: Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan. Didn’t even have to think for that one. I mean, there are other pairings that I dislike nearly as much but that’s the kneejerk hard-no for me.

favorite episode: …lord. Uh. Again, we probably have to break it down by era and again I’d probably have multiples for most of these, especially since a lot of the time my favorite/what I’d seek out to watch depends on my mood, y’know? But…I will just limit it to Rebels because that is what I’ve watched most recently and what has the clearest answer because Zero Hour.

saddest death: This is also kind of a hard one, but honestly the three that jump to mind most are either of Ahsoka’s (even though they were both temporary, they still get to me and the second one is why I didn’t start watching Rebels until this past year because I knew I’d need a watching buddy to get through it and the person I was watching with we were still finishing up TCW) and Obi-Wan’s fake death in the Rako Hardeen arc. …yep, those beat out all the permadeaths. Not sure what that says about me…

favorite season: Broadening this to ‘era’ and saying PT/TCW era.

least favorite season: Again broadening to ‘era’ and going to say ST. BUT let me be clear, my feelings on the subject are along the lines of “here are three adorable playful puppies but you only have the resources to take two home and take care of them properly and the third will also go to a happy loving home where they will be played with and adored as they deserve.”

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: Honestly, I don’t know? The nice thing about a fandom the size of Star Wars is that it’s actually pretty easy to curate my experience, so I’m less aware of who Everyone Loves/Everyone Hates. But I’ll probably list Qui-Gon, even though, as above, ‘most dislike’ would be a better term than ‘hate.’ Because I know that he has a lot of fans.

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: Anakin or Kallus. Yay, another short answer!

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: Hm. Finn or Rose probably. Oh, or Bail. …look, most of my faves, I wouldn’t really call cinnamon rolls. Even Padme, who comes fairly close, because, uh, anyone who says “meet me at the docks at midnight and bring a gun” is probably not a cinnamon roll. (I would probably assign her the “looks like a cinnamon roll but could actually kill you” line of that meme. …granted I have zero clue how I would fill in the rest and she would also have stiff competition there but still.)

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: ….I don’t know that I have one? Not in this fandom, anyway. Outside of certain AUs. Like, even what I would call my most crackship rarepair that doesn’t involve an OC, while probably super destructive, (definitely externally and possibly internally) wouldn’t fall under this particular description. (It’s Bo-Katan/Ventress, if you’re curious.)

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: Most canon endgame pairings except Anidala and Kalluzeb, tbh (….for varying definitions of ‘cute’). Pretty much anyone you could possibly pair with Obi-Wan (except, again, Qui-Gon or ObiAniDala, for complete opposite reasons). Most Ahsoka pairings (except Anisoka which while not as strong as Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan is still a pretty hard no for me). Various combinations of the ST Trio and Rose. Leia/Amilyn and Han/Lando as backstory/non-endgame pairings.

Ask me about a fandom!

Original post with original tags here.

#ask #star wars #fandom #originally posted october 2018 #copied post

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