#or a whole tuna

[ndostairlyrium]

Minrathous 🤝 Kirkwall for the messiest places in Thedas

[bitchfitch]

My mother's bf had a fairly major surgery (he's fine and recovering well DW) and he's going to be housebound for his birthday this year, so I've been enlisted to come up with a fancy birthday meal for the special birthday boy that's primarily fruit and veg, sweeter than savory, and is something he's never had before.

Bc I'm making watermelington. It's beef Wellington, but watermelon. bc my mom only found out recently you can use watermelon as a tuna substitute. And I know that you can substitute most higher quality beef cuts with tuna or salmon.... usually. Anyways the idea fascinates her so I'm hoping to use that for bonus points.

Now he's off his ass on pain killers so I can't like. Ask him if he's ever had something before. so to meet my brief I've decided to just. commit a novel hate crime against the British I guess.

Anyways. I'm writing this because I need to walk myself through this process and think it'll be surreal enough to be worth taking y'all along for.

So, Beef Wellington. In its most basic bitch arrangement is a beef tenderloin wrapped in prosciutto/really thin bacon, with a layer of mushroom and onion mush, that has been further wrapped in mustard slathered puff pastry.

We will be ship of Theseusing this. bc beef Wellington is like. the opposite of what he wants. Which is why it's funny.

Puff pastry-> it's still just puff pastry

this one doesn't have to change (aka I can't be fucked to do pastry prep and I'm just gonna use store bought it's Fine.)

the prosciutto is also just going to be prosciutto.

Thin meat

Beef tenderloin-> watermelon,

Tbh this is a pretty 1 to 1 substitution. I'll bake the slices at like. 250-300 for an hour or so ahead of the rest of prep to dry it out a bit. bc you can't like. Sear watermelon to seal in the water like you can beef. By definition it's a very wet fruit (like me when I fall into the lake). Ill Add salt and chili and lime juice while baking maybe. this is the easy part

The mushroom mush-> salsa done bad style

As the word mush implies, this is meant to be a very soft mix. It adds a lot of nuttiness to the wellington that rounds out all of the salt from the meats. I'm replacing it with white person salsa(the birthday boy can't handle spice). Tomato, lime juice, parsley, avocado, cucumber, feta, and maybe mango so I can have an excuse to have a lil mango treat. I said I wasn't making it spicy. I'm still putting a bit of chili in it. bc it'll be better like that. This is also a ridiculously wet bit of mush, Even the original mushrooms have too much water. I'll figure something out.

Mustard -> jelly

He lives in a big city. those preserve sections are massive. I'll find a weird one. maybe apricot.

Prep:

We're in the mind palace kitchen, I have not attempted any of this. We're just thinking real hard about it and I'll edit as needed on the day and post results.

The watermelon

Preheat oven to eh. 300f? We want low and slow to dry things out without it taking a year. but idk what his oven is like. If it's gentle I'll bump it up another ten-twenty.

Slather some watermelon slices in salt chili powder and lime juice mixture.

bake for 30 min on a wire rack or directly on the oven racks (after cleaning thoroughly) if he doesn't have a wire rack. with a drip try underneath to catch the drippage. check frequently. Have one slice that's for being poked to see if it's approaching being meat. Bake longer if needed.

Salsa bad style

chop everything up and add it to a pan with some oil in it. Tbh I don't think the type of oil you use for cooking matters if you're not like, getting near any smoke points. Most people can't tell the difference unless you made your food bland as hell.

Anyways there's some wildly different moisture contents on the list so there has to be an Order to cook off as much water as possible without getting yucky.

Tomatoes and cucumbers go in together with some salt to get the cucs softening, then the mango chunks and lime juice. Once most of the water is gone the avocado feta and parsley can go in. There is a good amount of water in avocados but they're delicate and don't pan fry well, so we're just going to ignore their water crimes and hope for the best. They just need to be evenly mixed through the rest of the mush.

Putting it together

lay out the puff pastry, cut into sections to wrap each watermelon slice individually with.

Slather in jam

Take the prosciutto and lay it out on half of each section of the pastry,

spoon the salsa onto that

Melon

Another layer of salsa

another layer of thin meat

Fold the pastry over the top and pinch the edges bc watermelon slices are not a rollable shape and I don't want to carve a watermelon into a tube for this because that sounds irritating.

Brush with egg wash and more parsley

Cook in oven following the pastry's preferred temp and time. it's fucking watermelon, you're not getting ecoli from it.

watermelington :)

I'm serving it with baked sweet potatoes and spinach based salad with whatever toppings are left over from making the salsa.

anyways thank you for joing me on this thought experiment. I will post updates once the deed is done. I'm sorry to every British person ever.

[whitherwanderer]

Before and after learning that some cactuar fruits in Tural can be used to create a hangover cure.

[just-call-mefr1es]

yippee new luna design>_< +undercooked tuna

[vladdyissues]

workin' on the clone gestation AU, thanks to the kick in the ass you gave me, thought you might like to know one of the ideas in the way too big idea overflow doc now is, and I quote:

-Danny ends up shapeshifting a little to appear as Vlad's age-appropriate partner for something or other and Vlad is completely unprepared for Danny roleplaying as a silver fox while still being a cheeky smartass taking any opportunity to reference personal history in a way that makes Vlad sounf as weird as he is (e.g. "Oh we met when he wanted my collaboration on something personal, so he invited me to his creepy cheese castle and dragged me to his secret tech lab in the middle of the night.")

This could be an episode. I want this to be an episode. One where Danny learns to shift his form, both ghost half and human half, into anything he wants. (And then unwittingly gets stuck in one form and has to undertake some grueling task to change back, or wait for it to run its course.)

In the meantime, he'd be using all sorts of "old people" language and constantly having his anachronisms corrected by Vlad.

"We didn't have microwaves in the 60s, Daniel. We ate real food—suspended in a matrix of lime-flavored gelatin, the way God intended."

[shoku-and-awe]

Complicated anxiety post!

I scheduled a fancy haircut thinking I’d be excited by the time it rolled around, and now the free cancellation window has closed but I’m still :|

I know I *need* a haircut. It’s gotten so long that I hate washing it (it clings all the way down my back and literally makes me whimper with grossness). So I wash it less often than I like, and not wanting to wash it makes me put off swimming and exercise and other things that make me feel good. It also gets super tangled and dry, and I have to braid it every night before bed, and if I wear it up/braided too often, it makes my scalp hurt. (Also, the braid falls on my dog when I pick him up and bothers him.)

I know a haircut is inevitable. Both sides are shaved and the ponytail keeps getting thinner and thinner. Also I have several inches of crunchy dead ends.

I want to keep the length because it looks cool to have shaved sides and just a big messy pile on top. (Also: sunk cost fallacy.) I also feel like it’s a compromise with Japanese beauty standards: I don’t really perform femininity, and societal pressure is so strong, and also having long hair like a pretty lady makes me less threatening as a scary foreigner; I don’t also need to look unfeminine or uncategorizable.

(The pressure here is really next level. People say “I’ve noticed you don’t wear makeup” in the tone I’d use for “I’ve noticed you don’t wear pants.” I once asked my Japanese ex why she did a full face of makeup just to run to 7-11, and she said, “It’s just basic manners.” It’s really hard to not conform! And I already don’t conform. (Should that make it easier? Sure! Does it? Fuck off with your logic—hair does not operate on logic!))

Making it harder is that my face is fatter than the last time I had short hair. (And older.) It probably won’t look good anymore! And even if it does, I don’t think I’ll be able to see it, and I will walk away shaken.

I could make a less dramatic change, but I’m not sure how viable that will actually be. Transitioning an undercut is complicated, and I’ve had hairstylists here respond to suggestions with “Yeah, that’s just not possible” (and Japan = rules do not bend). Also, pricewise, this is not a place I’d go for a trim; I went and called in the experts, and I’m not ready for them.

Also, time pressure. If I’m going back to bangs, I have to do it well before warm weather hits and we’re doing concrete jungle with 80% humidity. I’ve made that mistake before. You need a transition period. Emotionally, and to train your hair!

The one uncomplicated upside is that I have a cool silver stripe in my hair if it’s parted a certain way, so I can finally get my haircut that makes me Rogue! I’ve wanted that for years.

I plan to consult with the stylist, but I’m honestly no longer sure enough to know what to say. And I told him that it was a big haircut but I knew what I wanted!

要するに, it would be so much easier if this war was just society vs. my preferred expression/presentation. There’s other parties begging me to cut: exercise!!! hygiene!!!! scalp pain (grim!)!!! my little dog!!!

[kiutotakulady]

Today is payday & you know what that means.....

PREORDER DATV

[animeshades1]

POV: Everyone in our Discord friends watching me freak in our status about my KinitoPET AU I'm working on

-Eddie🐶

[virgothozul]

My face when I realize one of my favorite AA cosplayers (tunaricebowl) reblogs my little fanarts 😳😳😳

[reporpoisedphantasies]

Do you think the ferryman is the one who takes kids to the Maw? Does he works for the lady? Or is he the gatekeeper of the Nowhere?

The ferryman is a jack of all trades. He manages to make himself Useful wherever he finds compensation (or sustainment), being one of the rather few beings able to trespass the threshold between our world and the nowhere. That being said, his place as a guardian isn’t a calculated, nor a particularly important one. He Happens to be there. He simply is. And it’s not his place to complain. He surely took a liking to the title, but his Role moreso comes from Otto’s obsession with symbolism, and the figure of the ferryman himself. He’s much like Charon; simply doing his job, completing a task: and said task is what defines him in the eyes of others.

About his deal with the lady ; he simply ferries and delivers, much like the janitor, who simply nurtures and works. Him and the maw’s master share an amicable relationship, since the Ferryman is treated as an esteemed guest and business partner. To tell you the truth, he isn’t all that disturbed by his line of work, as he takes human suffering very lightly. For all he cares, it’s an embargo of cattle to trade for a Delectable meal and a sip of Quality ale.

And…a placid conversation with a ‘life-long friend.’

[kayayayayayayayayayayayaya]

I Like when people rant about the deeper meaning of svsss and other mxtx books.

Like they r in a whole other level then me being able to read between the lines, understanding the 11th Dimension of the subtext within the Story.

And then Theres me smoth Brain dylexic Person, who's only Take away from the book IS the fact that arplains and cucumbers r funny tho cucumbers where funny befor for difrent reasins.

U Guys r absolute interlectual geuniues and i strive to be Like U Guys

[maxpaulll]

Now that it's CONFIRMED that other shifter exist, I pose you the question:

What if Aggro is just some 30 yr old cat shifter who has decided "fuck it, things are better as a cat"?

[chainera]

New Fic Drop guys

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/58286575/chapters/148434130

Check it out if you’re interested!

[armynoonas]

진 (Jin) ‘슈퍼 참치 (Super Tuna)’ Special Video

#Jin #진 #슈퍼참치 #SUPERTUNA

[241011]

[belleandsaintsebastian]

i love when my dog tilts his head all the way up to look at me + i love when friends loop their arms around mine + i love when stray cats brush against my legs on the pavement + i love when strangers ask what i'm listening to + i love when pigeons waddle near my ankles + i love when people sit next to me in class + i love when i can catch someone's eye and they smile at me + i love when the world embraces me and autumn is coming and its all going to be okay!!!!!!

[cosmic-tuna]

I want to know what the best rock is!

Logically, probably.... granite? Useful for many things, from road gravel to counters. Good for age dating since it can contain zircon. lots of variety.

But in my opinion the best rock is rhyolite because PRETTY.