#ophion is fucking dead

[cyber-beast]

Real hot take coming in because I literally cannot hold this in any further

I genuinely think LifeWonders should cut all ties with Gamma-G and hand off his characters to be drawn by someone else. He’s shown to be unreasonably difficult to work with and the characters drawn by him are clearly suffering the consequences of it with how neglected they are.

If what has happened with one of his characters in Eidos isn’t a massive red flag for companies to know it’s not worth trying to work with him, I don’t know what is.

Edit: For those who want a tldr with Eidos’ situation, I mentioned it because they tried to contact Gamma to make new sprites and for whatever reason he wouldn’t respond and they had to get another artist to make new sprites for said character. So considering his past record with other games, this doesn’t give him the best history that does him any favors.

[just-call-mefr1es]

more factS!!!1!!1!! -Hypnos' moons are all hypnotized, made to follow her orders. She hypnotized them for territorial reasons, but she doesn't harm them. -all planets can adjust their size to their will, which is why some are HUGE and some are small af -True to his species-sake, Kamu can bite and drain star energy. (Star Energy is Plasma, which equals to human blood.) -Chloris and Eros used to be dating (Eros got dumped due to his bigger ego) -Eburonia is disliked by my friends (not a system fact just a thing i wanted to say LOL) -The Ring bearers are Eburonia, Eos, and Hera. -The Gas Giants are Eburonia, Galileo, Eos, and Chloris. -The Rockies are Amechania, Eros, Ophion, and Prometheus. -The Ice Giants are Hecatia Eros (thats right, Eros is BOTH!) -The only water giant is Hypnos! -Hypnos is able to hypnotize moons from other planets and make them her own, usually out of jealousy or interest. From my sayings, she would take Callisto, Europa, Titania, Ariel, Miranda, Dione, Rhea, Umbriel and Charon. (She's a women moon collecter HELK) -Hypnos can also hypnotize planets, with one example being a planet from the Proto-era, named Phanes. -Eburonia's psychic abilities predicted the death of 5 of her moons. She does not wish to gain any more moons out of respect for the dead moons. -Galileo's moons are all trained in archery, as respect for their protector and caretaker. -The moons of Chloris have a one-sided hatred with Chloris. Chloris dotes on them, while the moons dislike him. -Ophion's moons are his other three friends! They manage his therapy appointments with the other moons (He's the Taenarum Therapist, like how Mercury is with the Solar System.) -Prometheus's moons are like tiger cubs; sticking close to their parent. They're always near Prometheus, only gone to hang out with friends. -Amechania's moons are one of the only ones who remember her. -Hecatia's moons are usually with other moons; Hecatia doesn't care about them much, unless they get hurt. -Eos's moons also take up alchemy, always trying to make new recipes for Eos, with most of them ending in failure. -Styx's moons always try to calm her down, but she's also scared of them most of the time. And now, for the big shocker.. THE TAENARUM SYSTEM HAD ITS OWN MOON REVOLUTION!

The Taenarum Moon Revolution was caused by one of Hypnos's moons getting mad that the planets didn't have restricted orbits. With her resolve, she gathered some of the moons who agreed with her sentiment and led an attack. Thankfully, it ended like the revolution in Solarballs. And fun fact, it happened because the Taenarum System moons heard of the Solar System Moon Revolution! In an AU, where the Solar System planets inhabit the Taenarum System, it would be stopped by Titan, since he doesn't want a repeat of his actions to happen again, lest in a Planet System with a planet with 1000+ moons. (answer each individually!)

(ill try lmaoo)

aaaaa hypnos’ moons bein hypnotized is so fucking awesome and deadass makes sense??? no wonder girlie has a whole ass collection of moons😭well atleast she doesnr hurt em💗

i think its rlly neat how the planets can change their sizes!! thats a rlly unique detail! ,,also, kamu draining tue star energy?? so fucking badass?? holy shit?? and damn chloris rlly gave eros the L with that💀💀 dont blame em ngl

end this eburonia slander NOW💔💔⛓️⛓️🙏🙏 shes done nothing🤬🤬 (and damn eros trying to catch em all by being both rocky and ice giant)

hypnos wqntinf all the girl moons is honestly relatable, i feel her. and WOAHG?? she can hypnotize planets too?? yikes f in chat for phanes💔 eburonia ilysm, actually💞💞 can i just say i love all the relationships of all th moons n their planets?? thyre literally so interesting and the dynamics just MWAH😵‍💫 i live for moon n planet relationships, positive or not. i think galileos relationship with her moons is honestly so cute like?? omgggg >w< SAME GOES WITH PROMETHEUS’??? thats so fuckij cutee DIWJSKSMDM

woooo moon revolutionn🗣️🗣️🗣️ we repeating history with this onee🗣️🗣️🗣️

LMAOOO the moons hewrinf abt our solar systems moon revolution is crazy i lvoe it (imagine the taenarum moons write fanfiction abt the solar systems moon revolution lolololol)

thar was a long list u sent but i love readinf so:3 i rlly like these facts/lore drops u send me! feel free to send more if ud like^_^

[superchaipa]

Gosh! I can't wait for Zeus to awaken in Housamo. Ophion is going to make a comeback. Perun is going to be most likely dead. Triton will have to deal with his slut of a brother/siblings/whatever the fuck they are. Shinya is going to cuck Zeus extra hard. He'd be like, "No. MC is MY friend! Back off, slut!" And Mc will be like, "I thought I was the slut?". Triton is going to try and protect MC's virtue that they don't have any more and have a meltdown every time Zeus tells him he held MC hands or something.

I can't wait for all this telenovela drama.

[dorokora]

Previous post fucked up X_X

Ophion: That monkey's gone. And he took off with my dragon balls! Aizen: Lord Ophion I found a note!

Ophion: Let me see that!....

Ophion: It just says "Dead Ophion," and there's a picture of a butt!

Aizen: Can I see it Lord Ophion?

Ophion: HANUMAN! DRAGON BALLS!!! NOW!!!

Aizen: Yes sir!

[neapocream]

Me Rating Housamo Guilds base on if I would enjoy being in there or not.

Shinjuku Summoners: 4/5

The most normal but mostly most enjoyable in my opinion. It basing an after school club with people I would like to hang out with.

Members with different past come together and just hang out as friends.

Ikebukuro Berserkers: 2/5

I would not survive this guild. Absolutely fucking not.

I’m not a fighter unless I have to defend myself and if you put me in a ring to fight someone I’m gonna use every dirty trick in the book to win.

I’m not a fighter, I’ll soon pop a cap in someone ass before I raise my hand.

Plus you only seem to get treated well in you’re are able to win few matches. The only time I will fight if I had MC power, but if I don’t I raising my white flag.

Aoyama Missionaries: 2.5/5

Honestly, the main problem are the angels in the guild. During the chapter 4 these angels was disrespectful to so many including their own guild master.

They are very judging and would treat those with bad background very differently. And they quick to jump Kengo after his fight with Zabaniyya.

And the only reason they been acting out of pocket because Arsalan let himself get kidnapped which honestly piss me off back then but still!

The only people I would even bother to hang out with is Maria, Jacob, Gabriel, Azazel and Choji. That it.

Roppongi Tycoons: 1/5

I would not survive a SINGLE day with them. Probably not even a full 24 hour. I’m not rich and I’m gonna be treated like a slave there.

Now I can hold myself back from saying anything, but if they even think of going low then I’ll go lower. I’ll bring up Ophion’s dead wife and shit.

Probably end up in a hospital bed though…

Kabukicho Outlaws: 5/5

Despite their names and how territorial they are, they accept thought who seek a place and doesn’t judge anyone with terrible background.

I honestly like all of them, especially Tetsuya. They treat others like family and I think that sweet.

Plus they don’t bother getting involved with others guilds bullshit and honestly same.

Hongo Wisemen: -/5

I honestly don’t know anything about this guild to judge what it will be like. I honestly know that we fought Shuichi and his fan girls with Shiro when we were in his turf, but that all I can recalled.

So no points

[siderealxmelody]

The Forever War Part III

Rigelus and Bryce were tired of running, tired of the world ripping everything from them again and again. So they made Midgard after Theia was dead. It would be an island for them, for those Daglan who wanted to exist without the poltics. A place for leisure, learning, and pleasure.

Alana moved some of her gladiatoral pits and pleasure stables there. She and Vincent slowly rebuilt Vaalbara, Sebastian, Natalia, Sarai and Viren helping them. Maeve and Athril stayed behind helping Achlys and Korok with their war.

Achlys was a paranoid female, Maeve was a beautiful and brilliant threat to her growing power. It wasn't long before Maeve and Athril left for Midgard, unable to keep working with her.

Isaiah sent Julius and Juniper to Midgard at Bryce's invitation. She understood, as painful as the lesson was that - this cycle of violence would never end. Perhaps Rigelus would seen reason one day, perhaps if he didn't Isaiah could finally kill the brat and be done with it.

After Orion and Shahar's failed war Julius made Ophion, leaving to become one of Achlys toys - hoping to continue gathering intelligence on them from the inside.

Isaiah helped the Alliance flourish here, Anaxia, Orion and Shahar grew to be friends with some of the younger kids - Ruhn, Seraphine. As this second wave of war grew closer, Isaiah wondered if this would finally turn the tide.

Especially as Emelin arrived with Aleksander, Anastasiya and other friends from Wendlyn.

Nothing would force the Wild Ones out of retirement quite like having their children dragged into this war too.

The Changelings would get free - he'd make sure it.

Maybe that's why they manipulated Merka into finally shattered. She'd been Kaden's enforcer for centuries, Kaden had helped grow Alana's empire here.

Merka's rage was easy to manipulate - the plan was simple - spread rumors that Kaden had ran to Achlys court - she'd decimate it for them.

That was till she and Samkiel met, till Samkiel felt the Mating mark sing under his skin.

They didn't need fucking Samkiel getting involved, he'd drag the others like Thurr or Imogen in.

He'd insist on trials and restraint.

He'd insist on fucking speak talks.

They didn't have time for that shit. Achlys needed to fall and Isaiah would make sure she did even if he had to drag her off that throne kicking and screaming.

With Creon and Alys now with in their stronghold they were so close.

@luxmaeastra

@starlsssankt

@sankta-alina-s

[luxmaeastra]

Orion stared at the ship, at Bryce. The lighting in him burning him up. He was going to die here, he -

How could Lidia be good? How could she be anything but Pollux's fucktoy and Sandriel's Hind. Why would she help them? Why -

He barely heard anyone, Bryce, Ruhn they all blurred in his mind. He remembered battles and wars he knew he'd never been to. What was happening, why -

"Orion."

Sebastian knelt before him, forcing his mind to focus on him. His grandson stared at him, confusion giving way to despair. Sebastian held him as he broke down. It had been a long time since his magic had gotten like this, like he couldn't think beyond it.

He waited till he calmed down, till he could focus on him.

Orion blinked at him, gripping his wrist.

"Grandpapa? Where - my parents, Mama -"

"They've been searching for you, I volunteered to get to you -"

"It's not like he was fucking hiding. Where have you been?"

Sebastian glared at Bryce, she glared back crossing her arms.

"Look thanks for the help, but we don't know now get away from my fucking mate."

Sebastian mentally winced, Orion stiffened. His grip tightening, he acted like he hadn't heard Bryce.

"Shahar she's -"

"I know. Look, we need to get you and Creon and -"

"Bryce is at risk too she can't - I can't leave her behind."

Sebastian sighed and nodded, gently helping him stand. He gave them space, let Orion be lead away to rest. Bryce of course found him easily enough, Ruhn close behind her.

"Who the fuck are you? What the fuck just happened?"

Sebastian exhaled and looked to them, so young.

"Midgard was made on a dream of equality, the dream soured quickly under the reality. Orion and Shahar's war was done to stop the Asteri from encroaching into their home across the Northern Sea. The last anyone heard from them, they'd been captured. Orion is a Prince of the Valg - I suppose you call the demons yes? His parents rule that land. I suspect Orion's memories were tampered with, made into their tool. I need to get him home. As for where I've been - who do you think started Ophion? It took time to get it up and running without my help."

He looked to Ruhn who simply crossed his arms. Sebastian sighed and clasped his hands behind his back.

"I'm happy to take you out with us Bryce. But -"

"What? Don't think a half-breed is good enough for your grandson?"

His lips twitched, Ruhn teeth grindined it looked like a pitying smile. If Bryce didn't insist on listening to this old man he'd kill him.

"I think I've never heard of a male or anyone having two mates, even if we say Shahar is dead, I've never seen it happen unless they're a Reborn. Which you are not, no I'm not explaining what that means. Shahar is alive and I find it hard to believe you both could be mates considering...."

He looked like he didn't want to finish it. Ruhn stepped closer, his magic spiking.

"Finish your fucking story Old Man."

Sebastian's eyes narrowed but he slid to Bryce. There was definitely pity there.

"I attended Shahar and Orion's mating ceremony before they went to war. I took their child in when it was smuggled out of Midgard after they were both captured."

Sebastian rubbed at his wrists, Ruhn saw lightning flicker in his veins.

"I need to tell him that Bryce. I need to tell him everything and we need to get Shahar....if you're coming to Hel I need to let you know what you're getting into -"

Everything was unraveling, everything was being torn apart from what she knew. She had built this life here, with him. They built a life on what they knew, what they had discovered as they had gone along the way. Now he was advising that it was all wrong? That Hunt of all people -

Orion, he was calling him Orion. She had heard enough about his life to know that was his real name, but that didn't make this any easier to deal with.

The story that was being laid out by this laid, the truth she didn't expect. Her hand tightened at her side, her nails digging into her palm as her gaze turned to her brother. She watched him, taking in what she could see. How he was watching the other, how he was reacting.

She was thankful she had him of all people, she was glad he was there to help her through this. She felt as if she was frowning, she felt as if she was losing control and she couldn't see a way out of this.

Bryce looked back to Sebastian, she raised her chin slightly. "Fine, but it is his choice. He has had his freedom taken away before now, he can't have anyone else dictate his life or what he must do."

[anonymous-20-16]

bryce is so reckless

Bryce said, “Well, we’re going to have to beat her time.”

They all faced her. Bryce’s attention remained fixed on the screen, though. On the young woman walking out of the ancient library.

Hunt’s stomach twisted. He had a feeling he knew what she was going to say even before Bryce declared, “We need to get to the Eternal City—and into those archives.”

“Bryce,” Hunt started, dread rushing through him. He might have made peace with their involvement with Cormac and Ophion, but this … this was on a whole new level. Perilously close to what he’d done leading the Fallen.

“I want to know what Sofie knew,” Bryce said through her teeth. “What Danika was willing to risk so much to discover.”

After the truth Baxian had dropped, she needed the full story more than ever. It didn’t only have to do with wanting to use the intel as leverage against the Asteri. Danika had thought this information could change the world. Save it, somehow. How could she walk away from it now?

-----------------

she doens't care about anyone, and if anybody tell her anything or say to be careful, she calls them alphaholels and is rude to them.

fuck she knows both sofie and danika got killed for this shit and yet she wants to put herself and other in danger of doing that same shit

you can walk away by letting the dead stay dead and move on with ur life. goddammit. she's so reckless and stupid sometimes

hosab 172

[felswritingfire]

Hey, everyone!

Have some housamo dad hcs that no one asked for! This guys kind of a monster (7978 big) so it goes under the read more. I just,,,, I really like domestic parent hcs ajlskfjlksdj

I kept the kids older years vague and just kept to biological gender because I didn’t want to complicate anything, if that makes sense, just give a little personality to the kiddo/kiddos but mostly focus on the dads, you know? Anyway Enjoy!

(Also so much thanks to @summonerscenarios for helping me with some of these and reading the beta, much love!!)

(Reader is gender neutral btw)

Arsalan

OIL DAD- OIL DAD-

He’d probs have one and then ask for two more- a weird lion thing you know? So, under the assumption that you’re A) down to give birth to three or B) end up adopting three kiddos, he’d most likely end up with two girls (both a year apart from each other) and a boy (who’s three years younger than the middle girl, making him the youngest and gentlest out of his sisters)

He honestly has a bit of a “Oh shit” moment when you guys gain a kid by either a series of events or you getting pregnant, he’s lowkey freaking out

He’s never had a kid before, I mean, sure, he’s been a role model to young people for a long time, but it’s not like he’s had to raise them from when they were in diapers; and honestly, he has this vague wondering if he’s even too old to be a dad- but then she looks into his eyes and it’s like all his worries wash away and then he’s thinking out loud: “if one can do this to me, Y/N, what do you think five more would do?” 

You’ve never seen him so happy and you’re almost sad when you have to shut him down. Almost. “We’re not having six children, Arsalan.”

                       “Ok, what about two more then?”                        “Arsalan.” 

Jokes on you, Y/N, you have two more.

He’s super involved with all of the babies, like, there isn’t a time where Arsalan isn’t seen with them when they’re babies, since the girls are older than their brother, they were with their papa while he was with their baby brother- btw, despite them being four and three respectively, they still loved him to death- and there wasn’t a time when he wasn’t holding or touching them when they were babies

OH! He doesn’t wear any oil when he’s holding them! Since he almost shit a brick one of the times he was holding your oldest girl because he almost dropped her. His hands were so fucking oily because he just finished a riviting round of ✨Turkish Oil Wrestling✨, that he ended up flailing with her like a melted stick of butter in his hands until he managed to get her into the crook of his arm (she was giggling the entire time). Never again. He learned his lesson the first (and last) time. 

Btw, you weren’t there for that, but if he ever looks at you with guilty eyes you know why

He hates diaper duty with a passion and will vehemently try to get out of it. Though, he’ll do it if you really can’t and he’ll silently accept his fate, even the girls will steer clear when he has to change their brother’s diaper. A lonely soldier left to his fate

He baby talks to them when they’re babies, like, straight up, every one of the kids gets baby talked 

No and’s, if’s, or but’s. They get the baby talk

The girls help you guys out a lot with their little brother, or at least they try their best and that’s all that matters. It’s actually really heartwarming??? They’re so attached to this little bundle in your arms, they love him so much

The two girls weren’t fussy babies, but they were very curious, and they kept that curiosity for their entire lives, so they would get into a lot of things that would cause you and Arslan to panic, while their brother was a little angel, he was very quiet and he rarely cried. Though, he didn’t like when you or Arsalan were away for too long, this was a problem for when you guys needed a babysitter for them, not with the girls though, oh no, they love everyone in the Aoyama Guild, especially Maria and Gabriel (the middle one might have a crush on her, but who knows 💅💅). But your guys’ little boy is a whole other story. He’ll start crying and none of them can calm him down, their only saving grace is surprisingly Nyarl. Which Arsalan dislikes with an immense passion

He’s so afraid Nyal’s going to feed his kids to some eldritch horror or teach them bad habits- *GASP* WHAT HAPPENS IF HE TEACHES HIS LITTLE BOY HOW TO SAY FUCK??? OH NO-

He has entrusted the girls with keeping Nyarl in check and the hyena actually listens to them (of course Maria or Zab is there to keep him in check too, they just don’t let the girls know that they’re actually the ones giving Nyarl The Look behind them)

When they’re toddlers, Arsalan starts teaching them strategy and starts wrestling with them so that they can know how to defend themselves with different fighting techniques 

You know that thing that papa lions do where they’ll feign getting hurt when their cubs bite them to build their confidence??? Yeah, he does that with the little ones. The girls are all proud of themselves each time they manage to “beat” their papa, but your little boy is devastated the first time it happened because he thought he actually hurt Papa Arsalan and he started crying and was too afraid to touch anyone for a good two days before Arsalan managed to convince him that he was perfectly fine and the way for him not to hurt someone is to embrace his strength and learn how to use it for good! Luckly, your little boy accepts the answer and goes over and gives his papa a big hug and Arsalan gives him a big ol’ kiss on the forehead

You still have the video- it’s cute- you’re never getting rid of it

Arsalan definitely takes them to the guild and everyone LOVES THEM

The girls get along best with the angels, the more aggressive ones specifically while your little boy gets along best with the healers of the guild; they listen to all of the stories that anyone is willing to share with them and they LIVE FOR THEM

They all swear up and down that they’re gonna join the Aoyama guild when they get older and protect their dad and Arsalan tears up

They MEET (officially) ZABANIYYA AND YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN MORE STARSTRUCK CHILDREN IN YOU LIFE (He met them when they were babies, but he was always too busy to actually swing by and say hello to the little ones frequently)

They think he’s so cool and he feels a little awkward around them, but he’s accepted his fate as Uncle Zab

By the time they hit their tween years, Arsalan is more in his element, he’s an amazing listener, and coupled with the fact that his advice is some A++ shit, his kids feel at ease telling him their woes. Also he’s always open with his affection so if they need a hug, he’s there for that too!

The girls, at this time, are much more similar to Arsalan, their brother on the other hand is very shy, so they take it upon themselves to act as “bodyguards” for their little brother

Your guys’ kids in general are pretty independent, so they’re pretty self aware of themselves; Arsalan made sure of that, especially since he was in the mindset of “making capable kings and queens”- he was a king after all

The girls would go into sports, something like volleyball or softball, while your boy would take up a lot of writing/medical classes in high- if he has the opportunity, he’d probably go into a philosophy class

Your guys’ oldest girl has a bit of a problem with butting heads with people, she’s opinionated and backs them up with facts, she knows what she believes in and will defend it, so she’ll get into the occasional fight

Your middle girl is your social butterfly and gets along with everybody; she’s super sweet, but she has a temper and strong sense of justice which gets her into trouble every now and then

They both team up to take care of their little brother, it’s actually really cute to watch them 

Your boy is the peace keeper of the group; he’s very passive and fights with his words rather than his fists, but he really wants to go into the medical field 

HAVE FUN DEALING WITH THE FACT THAT THEY ALL GET INTO SHIT LIKE THEIR DAD. You and Arsalan had to go and convince the Tycoons not to hang your oldest by her toes because she punched Ophion straight in the jaw and suplexed Lucifuge (Hakuman was having an amazing time- the other two were not)

When they graduate, Arsalan doesn’t cry, but it’s still super evident that he’s proud of his kids, each one gets a huge ass bear (lion) hug that squeezes the breath out of them

He may be a little shocked at first, but he takes it in stride like everything else in his life; he marvels at the way that your guys’ kiddos grow up so fast. Honestly, having a family was one of the best experiences of his life.

Ifrit

I like to imagine that Ifirt would end up with more than one kid with you, being that if you can actually have a baby/babies or if you guys adopt, he’ll want one right after the other, but only if you’re comfortable with that.

We’re going with the route that you’re comfy with having/adopting at least two children:

He’d probs end up having two little boys that are two years apart.

When you guys bring home your first little boy, Ifrit is a mess of tears and snot and he gives you the wettest and biggest smooch he possibly can on your lips. He’s always wanted a big family (but he was afraid he would never be able to really start one because of his debt until you came along and, thanks to your more skeptical nature and eye for seeing through scams, he finally got financially stable!) and now it’s the start of one and he’s so excited! 

SPOILER ALERT, HIS KIDS ARE EXACTLY LIKE HIM.

They are rambunctious little babies and are loud just like their father; I’m so sorry.

Speaking of loud- Ifrit does not help with the volume- if anything, he amplifies them; riling up the boys when he plays with them.

When he does play with the boys, he’s super soft about it with them. He’ll go down easily for them and play dead when they play any sort of game that includes a big scary monster.

 The first time he did play dead, his boys started crying and then he started crying after he couldn’t get them to calm down because he was overwhelmed with so much emotion for accidentally making his kids cry- you walked in on the three of them, with groceries lining your arms, cuddled up together on the floor crying their hearts out.

IFRIT DRESSES UP HIS BABIES IN MATCHING OUTFITS TO HIM-THEY’RE LITTLE ROCKSTAR BABIES

IT’S SOFT SHIT

YOUR EYES? BLESSED

YOUR HEART? STOLEN

IFRIT? BEST DAD

UM, HAVE YOU EVER REALIZED THAT IFRIT HAS A TAIL???? (because I sure as hell didn’t, but no surprise there I’m blind-) YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS:

BABIES KOALA CLINGING TO HIS TAIL

LIKE, CAN YOU IMAGINE THEM JUST HOLDING ON WHILE HE TIDIES UP THE HOUSE WHILE THEY’RE GIGGLING AND TEETHING ON THE SPIKES OF HIS TAIL????

He was a tad nervous when they first started doing this because he realized that he’s a pretty loud and expressive person, so he didn’t want to accidentally knock one of the boys off when he was super excited or he got angry; after you assured him that he was in fact, not going to hurt the boys, he started letting them cling to his tail. And, hey, you were right. He has never once knocked the boys off since, despite his excitable nature, his tail keeps relatively still when he feels the boys on there

Speaking of tails, if any of the boys ends up having tails or horns or fangs like him (especially if they’re biologically his and they get hit with all three), he’ll have you guys invest in a lot of… chew toys for dogs and scratching posts for cats

                    “Why are we getting dog toys for our kid again, Ifrit?”                     “One fucking word, babe, growing pains”                     “That’s two words-”                     “YOU GET WHAT I MEAN.”

Um, I’m so sorry if you wanted your kid’s first words to be “mama/papa/nano” (I read on reddit that’s a gender neutral term for parent, but like, real talk, if you have any other ones, just hit me up and tell me! I love learning new stuff in the LGBTQ+ community!) you ain’t gonna get it chief. It’s gonna be a cuss word because, let’s be frank Ifrit’s got a potty mouth from Hell (me too, man) and it isn’t going away anytime soon

So your kids are most likely gonna be cussing like sailors by the time they get into middle school/high school 

Ifrit is a pretty great multitasker in general, the other bonus is that he’s not afraid to change diapers, so when the boys were babies he was always ready to go when you needed a break

Just let him slap a clothing pin or shove a couple tissues up his nose and he is ready to go, babe

The kids usually cling to him, though, I feel the younger of the two would cling to you more so than Papa Ifrit, while the older one is attached to Ifrit: he copies everything that Ifrit does and is basically a carbon copy of him personality wise

It was kinda hard to convince them to let you guys go out for date night, but they’re super attached to Ebisu and Fenrir, and then Auntie Benten comes and tuckers them out since she has the same amount of energy as the little balls of chaos. So you guys usually call on them to come and watch the babies; once in a while Ahab and Aegir will join and the boys L O V E THEM (you two are honestly a little jealous tbh)

Ebisu is in charge though. Ebisu is always in charge

He’s a little lost in the tween years, but he figures it out pretty fast, luckily, your kids are pretty easy going and simple minded like Ifrit, albeit more aware of their surroundings since you beat it into their heads since you and Ifrit wanted to avoid some punks taking advantage of your kiddos, so they’re pretty straightforward in their thinking- though, your older boy has a hard time handling his emotions, while the younger boy has a hard time expressing his emotions, so you both have to take your time with them and talk it through with them and see how they’re feeling and to understand their problems. Which really isn’t that big of a problem for Ifrit, he’s a good listener and it’s easy for the boys to express themselves around him because, hey, he gets it. He usually let’s his anger control his decision so, he gets it, man

ONE THING THAT HAS ALWAYS CALMED HIS KIDS DOWN IS IFRIT’S FIRE TRICKS AND THIS STICKS WITH THEM THROUGHOUT THEIR LIVES

THEY LIVE FOR THAT SHIT

One thing that Ifrit never taught them, and you don’t know where they got it from, if they have horns, they’ll headbutt each other

This has lead to Ifrit, more than once, having to come and untangle their horns, due to the fact that he’s the only one who knows how horns work, because they got locked together, especially if they have Ifrit’s horns (also thank you Juno for giving me this headcanon, I love you-)

If you two ever hear frustrated yelling, you know exactly what’s happening and Ifrit sighs as he gets up while yelling, “again?”

Teenage years are actually quite chill, the boys don’t really go through that phase where nothing feels right or they’re embarrassed of their parents- they’re comfy in their skin and Ifrit and you provide a solid and understanding home for them, so they actually have the tendency to brag about you guys to other people- especially your oldest

What does cause a lot of problems, even when they were little, is fighting

The boys tend to throw themselves head first into fights because A) they have their papa’s temper and B) they can’t stand bullies

So they kinda act as the designated “Protectors of the Weak” if you will and usually it doesn’t end in a fight, their sheer volume and confidence usually makes people back off pretty quick, and if they’re biologically Ifrit’s, then, like, they also have the height and build along with them- or if they were adopted and they had big ass parents, it goes either way

But when they get into a fight- they throw down H A R D. T O G E T H E R

So, once in a while you two get calls to come and pick up the boys, since they got into another skirmish again with that Billy kid- 

Honestly, the first time it happened, Ifrit was pissed because, what the fuck you two? And then he got their side of the story (because of course he would, he’s a GOOD DAD) and he was like, “WELL, FUCK, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE MAD NOW??” So instead, he goes and gets them ice cream every time they get into a fight because he knows your boys would never start a fight unless absolutely necessary. Also they beat up a bunch of bullies HOW THE FUCK IS HE NOT PROUD? HE RAISED THEM RIGHT

This might be one of the only serious arguments you ever have if you’re against the boys fighting at all (but like, I wouldn’t, they beat up bullies. FUCK BULLIES)

When your sons graduate from High school, Ifrit will cry at each of their ceremonies. Full blown sobbing- he’s so proud of his boys and he’s so ready to see what they make of themselves. 

Ifrit dad rating: 10/10, he’s amazing, please let him be a dad; he’s really matured from his younger days, especially now that he has kids. Being in a family with you has really made his life complete

Ophion

Ophion, to no one’s surprise, has a lot of experience under his belt. At least we would presume, but plot twist: this dragon is used to dealing with older creations rather than little baby ones. Not to say he doesn’t  have any experience with babies, he’s just… used to his kids being independent on their own. It’s a luxury when you got an egg that pops out Wyvern children who are fully developed left and right

He is totally down for babies tho, please, he actually really likes kids a lot and, when he was the older version of himself, he’d try to covertly play with them out in public if he’s with the Tycoons for whatever reason (they knew. They fucking knew what he did, none of them told him jack shit because Hakuman does the same exact thing and Lucifuge thinks his buddy is adorable when he plays with the babies, so like shit he’s gonna say anything. And Licht holds onto this as blackmail, just in case Ophion decides to really piss him off), younger Ophion gives zero shits about playing with babies in front of the Tycoons. He loves hearing babies laugh, so he’ll make some cool ass light tricks and babies and toddlers alike are in awe

Also, he has this tendency to try to give kids life advice and teach them philosophy that their little heads just do not comprehend, but they think he’s the coolest thing to ever exist so they just nod along and pretend they understand (he knows they don’t he just thinks they’re adorable 

He’d try to convince you to have a horde of children; it’s up to you to talk him down because, holy shit, Ophion we are not repopulating a planet. That’s a lot of kids to take care of-

You manage to talk him down to having two and seeing how it goes from there

Plot twist y’all end up with four children: split even boys and girls

Ok, so, I apologize but I’m gonna be drifting away from the gender neutral territory for a hot minute because, like, Juno pointed this out:

Giving birth to Ophion’s baby would be a nightmare: Ophion is a big dude, if I remember right he’s 6’10”, that’s huge if you didn’t know, can you imagine how big that baby is gonna be inside of you???? And the other thing- if they have any draconic characteristics then, like, have fun pushing out a baby with wings, my dude. So it’s either: pray that the little guy is baby baby sized or C-Section

Which is fine- you have options, so that works out great! Double bonus, you never have to worry about medical bills because Ophion is fucking LOADED; TRIPLE BONUS, SINCE OPHION IS LOADED YOU WOULD BE PAMPARED HALF TO DEATH AFTER THE ENTIRE DEBACLE

SPEAKING OF LOADED, your babies have all of the best shit ever since they were born into a rich family.

I’m talking about gucci onesies all the plushies they can imagine

Now, you might be thinking: shit. That means I have to be the tough parent.

Not necessarily

Ophion is particular about how he wants his kids to be raised up: he wants them to be smart and aware, not spoiled and useless. He honestly expects some sort of perfection out of them since, you know, the whole mindset of: well, they’re my children. Of course they have to be perfect

Which, no, bad Ophion. We don’t hold our children to unrealistic standards in this house, it’s up to you to knock him off his high horse. The good part is that he’ll listen to you and actually reflect on his expectations for his kids, he’ll even work on taking said expectations down a couple of notches which is great. 

You’ll probs still have to remind him once in a while, but he’s pretty good at chilling the fuck out when he needs to

Your kids go in the order of girl, boy, girl, boy; all of them a year or two apart, because of course

The first baby was a very rambunctious baby and Ophion threatened to chuck her out the window more than once- IN THE MOST LOVING WAY HE POSSIBLY COULD, I SWEAR- when she’d wake up crying in the middle of the night, because then he’d come and get her and she’d immediately start giggling and trying to grab his finger

He could never stay mad her and he’d end up staying up and rocking her until she fell back asleep 

The crib was barely used for your guys’ second and third baby- they were both easy babies for the most part, only really making a peep when they were away from one of you. Your boy was quite attached to you while the second girl was attached to Ophion; but your oldest girl and boy’s rooms weren’t really used until they each turned five respectively because they’d just climb into bed with you guys and set their younger sibling in between them- these were some of Ophion’s favorite moments tbh. It was so soft and gentle, it soothes his soul when he thinks about it

Your youngest was another rambunctious baby, not in the sense that he cried a lot, but in the sense that he was very… He had a knack for getting into things that shouldn’t have been possible

Like, you, Ophion, and your eldest daughter almost shit when you found your baby boy on top of the counter; no one put him there- you set him down for two minutes- but there he was, giggling as he crawled all over the polished countertops 

Also, PS: each of the babies has their own designated “nanny Wyvern” that takes care of them, but they’re more like, just huge ass guard dogs because they’ll try to make the babies a bottle of milk and it just… it does not work out so well, because sharp claws and microwaves don’t mix as you’ve come to learn

All the wyvern’s love your kids to death tho, they’d die for them. Nobody touches the babies unless they want to get fucking mauled to death by a thousand basically siblings

Each of the babies has gone with him on business meetings with the Tycoons, not that he was very thrilled- Ophion is quite the possessive dragon when it comes to his family- but you needed the load off, especially when you guys have four kids running around? Yeah. He isn’t gonna let you deal with that responsibility alone. 

So he brings them and the Tycoons were a little hesitant about the kids at first because, I mean, they’re Ophion’s kids, they have to be prideful little shits right?

Lucky for them, you keep what Ophion rubs off on his kids in check- especially the pride shit

So, turns out, that your kids are really sweet, maybe a little too confident, but sweet to everyone, and, surprisingly, Ophion’s kinda stickler for manners so they know how to behave themselves

BUT HOLY SHIT DO THEY LOVE GYUMAO????

YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY OR HOW- BUT THE KIDS ARE LIKE???? COW MAN IS BEST MAN

Ophion is lowkey pissed about it because those are his babies, fuck you, Gyumao

But you’re jumping for joy because um? Babysitter who is legit big enough to handle all of the kiddos in one room???? YES PLEASE

The second oldest really likes Lucifuge and will ask if he can comb his hair and Luci always says yes and convinces the kids to call him Uncle Luci; Ophion also hates this

Hakumen is honorary Auntie, they love her to death, especially the two youngest ones, and she likes to spoil them to piss of Ophion

The youngest really likes Licht and Melusine (all the kids are in agreement that Mel is super pretty and the oldest always asks her if she can hold her tail)

When your kids become toddlers, they’re all curious little things and like to hang around Papa and watch what he’s doing 

They’ll try to mimic him, so you’ve walked into a room and witnessed Ophion standing there looking over Tokyo majestically with a wine glass in his hand and all four of your kiddos lined up next to him trying to mimic him, all with their own respective juice cups (youngest to oldest, all trying to look like their papa??? It’s some soft shit and I will forever love Juno for adding and making this scene even cuter)

IF- IF HIS KIDS HAVE WINGS- WATCHING HIM TEACH THEM HOW TO FLY IS THE MOST WHOLESOME THING?????

He’s got a surprising amount of patience with them, so if they're scared to jump off the top of the couch, he’ll reassure them that he’s there and he would never, ever let them fall- and when they do jump? He catches them and praises them for being so brave and it’s just- *cries*

He’ll also take them out on flies so they can get used to the feeling of the wind on their faces and under their wings; they all get super excited if he does a cool twist in the air with them or something like that

The wyverns are usually out and about with them too, so they get two comfort buddies for the price of one fly!

Like with Ifrit, this dude has a tail, so the kiddos will grab onto it, and if they have tails, they’ll make a train of them holding onto each other’s tails as Ophion walks around the house or the Tower- everyone almost dies, because???? That shit cute.

You have so many photos of them doing this

Once your youngest girl fell asleep on his tail while he walked around and you almost died

When they hit their tween years, since they are confident kiddos, especially your two eldest, they have a tendency to push back with Ophion. And Ophion really doesn’t mind? 

He views it as them developing a true identity for themselves, but if they ever cross a line, pray for the kiddos, because he will put the fear of a god in them. He’s very scary angry

It’s even scarier because he doesn’t lift a finger, it’s just a look. A hard, narrowed, disappointed look. It shuts them up real fast

They don’t fight with you though. They’d never fight with you lmao they love you too much

Your two youngest are relatively easy because they don’t have as dominating personalities as their big sister and brother do. So they’ll still stick close to Ophion and listen to what he has to say

You’re eldest ones have an easier time talking to you about their problems while the little ones go to their papa

Though from time to time they’ll talk to the Wyvern that they grew up closest to and rant to them, all the while said Wyvern is squawking and cooing at them in understanding 

In their teenage years, they’ve been humbled a bit by their experiences, so they’re not as.... Over the top. They’re still dramatic tho

Honestly, they’d probs all go into theater. AND THEY’D BE INCREDIBLY GOOD AT IT

And Ophion would obviously brag about this because of course his offspring are amazing at anything they do

Your oldest girl is probably going to play a sport, probably swimming unless she has wings then she’d most likely play something like Lacrosse; you’re eldest boy would probably really into fashion because of Lucifuge so he’d take any fashion classes he could get his hands on; your youngest girl would be into business, courtesy of Auntie Haku and Uncle GyuGyu; and your youngest would most likely stick to theater and the arts; he fell in love with acting and I have this hc that Ophion is really into art in his spare time (especially since, hello- Old Greek God, where do you think they learned it from???) so he runs with the talent he has and just floors it

They all end up kinda, lowkey, running the school, their personalities just cause them to be natural leaders

When they finally graduate highschool, Ophion, if they can’t fly, will take them in his arms after the ceremony and they’ll fly around Tokyo just talking about everything and anything; if they can fly they’re doing the same thing, just instead they’re both doing kick ass tricks in the air! Either way, Ophion is proud and there’s the Wyvern they were closest to crying and nuzzling them because their basically little sib is all grown up

Ophion would kill for a big family with you and he’s such a good papa??? He’s naturally a good dad, it’s a little freaky- but he has so much fun raising this family. He holds all the memories he’s had with you and them close to his heart

Tadatomo

Tadatomo and you would probably have one baby in general, a little girl who’s very bubbly- though if you wanted a bigger family, Tada isn’t opposed to the idea

I feel like with Tada the baby, if you have the ability to have children- Hell, even if you don’t have the ability to have a child- you two still probably end up with having a surprise kiddo: they probably wind up being placed in front of your guys’ door by some random person-

Long story short, he freaks out

He definitely doesn’t know how to take care of a baby- he can barely take care of himself- Y/N, what does he do? Please-

It takes a lot of google searching, Youtube videos and phone calls to get Tada to calm down about the baby

After he gathers his bearings, he actually steps up to the plate pretty easily

Except for diapers, I’m so sorry, but you’re on your own for diapers. He’ll get you the stuff and everything, but, he just,,, He can not handle the smell

You guys don’t ever get a crib, if anything someone else gets you said crib (probably Mori) but you guys never use it because Tada places the baby between the both of you when you two go to sleep and, since he’s such a light sleeper, he’s usually the one to tell when she needs something before she even makes a peep

Not that I think she makes a lot of noise in the first place aside for her laughing- she’s just a happy and easy baby in general

Btw, Tada totally shed a tear when she laughed for the first time, he’ll never admit it but she gives him so much L I F E

He lets her play with his ears/tail, doesn’t matter if she pulls on them (which she doesn’t, she’s a gentle baby) no matter what time or place. He could be threatening someone with a knife and she’d be playing with his ears and everyone is like????? That’s kinda cute????   

He binge watches Naruto with his baby despite them not knowing what the fuck is going on and even gets them an Uchiha onsie because obviously Sasuke and Itachi are the bast characters in Naruto and no, he doesn’t take constructive criticism, thank you very much

He probably tries to convince you to name her after Tsunade, it’s up to you if

 you’re willing to go with it

(you’re kid probs has a hardcore anime phase in middles school and Tada and Shino NEVER LET HER LIVE IT DOWN)

For someone who was terrified of babies at first, he takes baby proofing the house/apartement very seriously; you’ll honestly have to stop him- he’s going crazy:

                 “Tada, for the last time, you don’t need to sand down the corners of the wall.”                  “But what if she runs into it?”                  “Tadatomo Inuyama, if you don’t put down that sander, I will have your head.”

You’ll sometimes wake up in the middle of the night just to find your baby isn’t there, it almost gave you a heart attack the first time because, I mean, HOLY SHIT WHERE’S YOUR BABY???

But when you look over and see Tada resting with her by the window and humming/singing her a little lullaby- your heart has never been more ready to burst in your life

Moritaka and Shino are the main babysitters, she absolutely adores Mori to death and Tada feels a sense of betrayal everytime she clings to him 

Moritaka has so many mixed emotions about it because on one hand: !!! My favorite basically niece! But on the other hand, Tadatomo has been glaring at the back of his head for the past 30 minutes, please, help him-

Shino also spoils her a teeny bit and Mori and Tada will stare at him with wide eyes, like, “dad, WHERE’S MY HUG???”

He starts her training early, because you know he wants his little girl to be able to take care of herself if he isn’t there to protect her, which, that’s not gonna happen, Tada will kill an entire city, don’t test him (also Mori and Shino and you’ll be there and like, nobody wants to open that can of fucking worms)

She’s clumsy at first, but she’s a really fast learner and he cannot be more proud when she starts to pick up stuff, he almost starts crying but, again, denies it if you try to bring it up

If she ends up having fangs of any kind, he will, like Ifrit, invest in chew toys as well, because have you seen puppies when they teeth??? It’s chaos, you will lose so much furniture that way, let me tell you

She develops a really good sense of balance, so it’s a fight to get her to stop breaking into the snack cupboard when she wants a treat; she’ll give it up without a fight, but she will break in again if you don’t watch it

She’s a pretty big ball of sunshine so she makes a lot of friends and invites them over; they all think Tada’s super scary because he’s glowering at them, if you tell them that that’s just how his face is, he’ll be mildly offended, but then you also throw in the fact that he’s a super cool ninja and then the kids are all over the poor transient 

He’s in heaven, but he won’t tell you that. Your guys’ daughter is all too happy to tell you guys all about how people think she has the coolest parents in school

Despite him teaching her how to fight, he’s a bit of a helicopter parent, especially when her tween/teenage years roll around

She’s a pretty easy kid in her tween years too, though Tada has a heart attack when puberty hits her and Aunt Ruby comes a knocking and he calls up Shino of all people to explain it to her, which he does, you’re honestly a little shocked when you get home and you see Shino with a whole powerpoint slide explaining in excruciating detail what a period is to your horrified daughter and your, as equally horrified, husband

He gets her everything she needs or asks you to get it if he can’t BECAUSE YOU GUYS ARE GOOD PARENTS

Tadatomo isn’t the best with emotions so he’s shit with advice, but he’s a really good listener. So, sometimes your kid will just info dump to him about everything that’s bothering her 

When she starts getting into the dating scene Tada HATES IT

He’s always glowering at the partner she brought home because he already hates them, he wants them to go away. She’s his little Shinobi- DON’T TOUCH HIS LITTLE SHINOBI-

You have to be the one to calm him down tbh because he will kill a child with zero hesitation 

Her teenage years are also pretty easy, she’s a rather laid back and optimistic kid and she has a solid relationship with both you and her papa so she doesn’t really have a lot of negative emotions inside of her 

And if she ever gets angry or anything, you know Tada installed a gym in your guys’ home, so she’ll punch the punching bag or work out her emotions

Tada will join her if she’s feeling up for it 

She’s most likely into sports and Tada and you go to all of her games; Tada cheers the loudest but he will DENY IT 

When she graduates from high school, Tada will openly cry. He’s super proud of his little girl and she’s a step closer to being an adult, she most likely got a scholarship for whatever sport she was most excited for and a dozen other little scholarships as well. Tadatomo will give her a big ol’ hug and tell her how proud he is of her, honestly, you’re probs gonna cry too

He is another excellent papa, who would give the world to his kid- he’s honestly so happy that you’re with him because he feels like he would never be able to take care of her as good without you 

Xolotl

XOLOTL WOULD BE AN AMAZING DAD I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

I feel that he’d have one child, maybe two, but definitely one; a little boy

It’s most likely you who brings up the idea of having a kid with him; and he is both a nervous wreck and an excited mess because A) Oh! A baby! And you want to have one with him??? WHY??? And B) OH! A BABY! I LOVE BABIES AND I LOVE YOU

He’s a pretty gentle soul, so when you bring home the baby, Xolotl gets the kid to go out like a light every time he starts crying

It relieves both you and Lotl, but definitely Lotl, like, the poor guy always has a mini heart attack when his baby is crying

The baby is a bit of a fussy baby so, he tends to cry if he feels like he isn’t getting enough attention or he wants to be held 

Lotl is super attuned to your kids’ emotions?? Like, to a freaky degree, he can tell just what your baby wants

He records all milestones in your babies life and you know it’s him because you can hear his sniffles in the background

IF (and most likely) YOUR BABY’S FIRST WORD IS DADA, XOL WILL FUCKING LOSE HIS SHIT

                “Y/N! Y/N! Our baby said ‘dada’! Our baby said ‘dada’!”                 “Yes, Xol, that’s great! Don’t cry on the camera though, please-”                  *Incomprehensible blubbering ensues*

He’ll actually take the baby with him to work if you’re too busy to watch him or if you can’t find anyone to watch him 

AKA: Maria is super busy and can’t watch the baby, which kills her inside because she loves the baby and Xolotl, as much as he loves Garmr, isn’t about to trust him with his baby’s life because that is… a very foolish decision to make, unfortunately

Hakuman got mad at him the first time for this and started yelling at him when the baby started to cry, her maternal instincts kicked in and she was on it; like she snatched him out of his little baby carrier and cradled him, cooing at the baby until he calmed down and then she gave him back to his papa, who was mildly miffed for once in his life, thank you very much (his fur was standing on end, he was ready to throw down with the mistress). She even apologized for taking your guys’ baby without permission and startling him- don’t get her wrong, she was still very much against the idea of Xol bringing his baby to work. It can, afterall, be a very dangerous place, especially the casino, but what could you do? Obviously this little baby needed a place to stay and what better place than with his papa, her top bodyguard, and of course the one and only her!

She ends up convincing him to bring the baby a vast majority of the time he comes around now, she’ll have him take him into meetings she has with the Tycoons and they get nothing done. NOTHING. They’re all too busy playing with the baby. He has a tendency to get really antsy when Ophion comes near his baby, fighting the urge to snap at him, but he learned that Ophion just really likes kids and holding them. Though he did make the jab that you and him would’ve made much cuter children and Hakuman was terrified of Xolotl in that moment because he almost lost his shit 

When the baby becomes a toddler, Lotl is much more confident and experienced, but he’s still nervous, your little boy is still very attached to his papa despite this

When he meets new people that he doesn’t know very well, he’ll hide behind your’s or Xolotl’s leg and peek out at them

It’s really, really cute???? Lotl almost starts crying

SPEAKING OF CRYING, your little munchkin cries a lot

But Lotl never yells at him for it or anything, he just kneels down and rests his hands on his shoulders and asks what’s wrong, more often than not, your kiddo just gets nervous and starts crying, not loud and obnoxious, but those silent tears of stress. But then he gets a big ol’ hug from papa/you and he’s alright 

He likes to try and copy what Lotl does so he’ll pretend he has a tie and fix it whenever Papa Lotl does and he almost screamed when he caught your kiddo mimicking him

He’ll also steal Lotl’s glasses once in a while and wear them, pretending to be a kick ass agent like his dad

LOTL MADE HIM A MATCHING BRACELET TO HIM AND I SHIT YOU NOT WHEN I SAY: THIS BOY NEVER TAKES IT OFF, EVEN WHEN HE’S A TEENAGER THAT STAYS NO MATTER WHAT

Lotl gave it to him when it was his first day of school and told him that papa put some of his and mama/papa/nano’s bravery in it so he’d always have some of his own- and he just- AHHH-

As your little boy grows up, he develops a bit more of a bite than his dad has, so he’ll try to defend you guys from anyone if they try to say anything about his dad crying and hitting on you, they have one pissed off toddler on their hands and he fucking bites, it doesn’t matter if he has the fangs or not, he’ll bite someone

(You guys honestly don’t know where he learned that from-*looks at Garmr*)

When he hits his tween years, the boy is an anxious mess, but he’s not afraid to cry about it, he’s learned that crying is perfectly fine from his papa and it’s actually super healthy to get rid of all that pent up emotion, so you bet your ass when I say: your little boy knows a lot of healthy coping methods, which is awesome

It actually helps his transition through puberty a lot 

Real talk, he almost shits himself when he speaks and he realizes how deep his fucking voice is, even Lotl is freaked out. But then he gets real proud of it and so does Lotl and it’s a cute father-son moment

If he ever gets to be the same size of Lotl, he’ll still get plenty of head pats from his papa

His teenage years are pretty smooth sailing aside from him being a tad anxious and socially awkward about things, but he’ll get through it! With the power of support and him having a safe place to explore himself he’ll learn healthy coping mechanisms to handle his anxiety!

Though if he ever does get really emotionally constipated or it just becomes too much, he’ll go to Lotl or you and ask if you can hug him and he’ll just cry and let it all go, rambling into your shirt, you can barely make out the words, but still nodding along with what he’s saying- it really helps

He has a first job already in the bag: at the water park that Hakuman runs! Because like hell was he gonna work at the casino as a first job, over Lotl’s, your’s and Hakuman’s dead bodies. It really helps his social anxiety and he learns that he actually really likes to interact with people (also everyone loves him over there because he’s such a gigantic teddy bear)

He’s probably super into art and Lotl gets him everything art related that he can get his hands on, he really wants to support his kiddo 

Lotl and you go to every gallery that your son’s art features in and it’s always great because that’s where you get to see him shine the most

When your guys’ son graduates from high school with a fully paid scholarship to his dream art school for his portfolio, you're all crying. You’re all so proud of your guys’ little boy

Having a kid was really good for Xolotl- having a family was really good for him; it helped build his confidence and become more secure with himself. He only wished his brother could be here to see his nephew, but this was fine, he could probably see him know and see how good of a dad Lotl was

Bonus HC for Lotl: he’d be, hands down, one of the best characters to be a single parent. Change my mind

[notspoondere]

The Mechanical Flavor of the World Legacy Characters

[This blog post discusses “flavor” with respect to the card design in Yu-Gi-Oh!. If you’re not already familiar with this term, it’s captured pretty well in this article by Mark Rosewater. Just keep in mind that flavor may also describe card effects.

Also, all of the images embedded in this post can be viewed full-size here.]

With the printing of Girsu, the Mekk-Knight Orcust in Eternity Code and the full spoiler of Rise of the Duelist, it is looking more and more likely that we’ve reached the end of the World Legacy storyline. It’s possible that new story-focused cards for these archetypes will be printed in the future, but it’s probably going to take a backseat to functional legacy support, similar to what happened with the Duel Terminal archetypes that received support in the Link VRAINS sets. As a result, I figure this is a good time to talk about their overall design and point out what I feel is its biggest success over Duel Terminal: flavorful designs.

To illustrate this difference, let’s consider a pretty key player in the Duel Terminal storyline and keep track of his effects as he changes forms throughout the story. (Consult the translations for Master Guide 4 if you’d like evidence that the first three monsters all portray the same character.)

We can see a pretty linear increase in stats from Sentinel to Roach, and he has a theme of caring about level 5 or higher monsters. This gets a pretty nice followup, becoming a Vanity’s Fiend for lv5 or higher monsters in... Evilswarm Ophion, which is a totally different card not present on this chart, because the powers of the Sacred Tree let him nuke the field instead!!

He then inherits the powers of Sophia and ends up weaker because Exciton got banned. Bravo. (It’s worth mentioning that the original form of Ophion, Gungnir, Dragon of the Ice Barrier, has a completely unrelated effect of discarding cards to destroy cards, and Evilswarm Bahamut steals monsters instead of bouncing cards like Brionac, but Evilswarm Ouroboros at least tries to approximate Trishula.)

Can you see the problem? I was going to make another image showing this off until I realized that following Gem Knight Lazuli all the way through Construct’s various forms would take way too much horizontal space, but feel free to construct an explanation in your head for why combining Apoqliphort Towers (the real one) with El Shaddoll Construct (foolish a Shaddoll/Catastor eff) makes Shekhinaga (Divine Wrath on a fusion) or why adding in Infernoid Devyaty (wipes backrow, also tributes to negate a monster) and some ice turns that combo into Anoyatyllis (Konami said fuck Nekroz). It’s because these cards are either not designed for flavor, or are designed around the flavor of their archetypes rather than that of their characters, so the characters in general have a pretty weak identity.

You could maybe say that’s because Duel Terminal is a grand-scale war story, so none of the characters are meant to stick out. That would make sense, sort of, so what about stories with fewer characters that change forms multiple times? The Dracoslayer lore did that.

I’m not typing out all of what Master Peace 2 does, but in case you weren’t around from May 2017-2018, you can read that here. He’s a Wyrm because all the True Dracos are, except his previous form wasn’t, except all of them probably could have been without hurting their chances of seeing play (until we got Guardragons Elpy and Agarpain).

The sole thing that ties all of these cards together is that they supposedly feature the same character, and all have effects that destroy cards. They have about twice as many differences. Master and Luster are both Pendulums, while the other two aren’t. Master Peace 1 is a Special Summon by Tributing, but Master Peace 2 requires a Tribute Summon to gain effects. Master Peace 1 has a negate, for some reason, even though none of the other forms have it, so if he gained it from the Dracoverlord tributed for his summon (these are his enemies, by the way), then he apparently forgot it by the time he reappeared in the story. Speaking of which...

In the lore, he essentially aids three tribes (Majespecter/Dinomist/Igknight) trying to fight off the Amorphages, and the Extra Deck Dracoslayers represent their powers combined. True Dracos exist because, in a totally different world, three completely different tribes (Zoodiac/Crystron/Metalfoes) are being assailed by the True Kings. They form a summoning circle (Dragonic Diagram) to summon him for help, and he accepts the power of the other True Dracos or something. The other True Dracos (who are also based off of the first three archetypes, like the Dracoslayer extra deck... for some reason) are disciples of Mariamne, the True Dracophoenix, who mechanically is a True King and shares minimal synergy with any of these cards, and the one who seemingly gets things done is Metaltron XII, the True Dracocombatant, who probably is just the three tribes’ power combined. Who also gets protection from effects by being Tribute Summoned and also floats into anything from the Extra Deck that isn’t LIGHT/DARK. And Konami says he’s a Zefra now. And who the fuck is Dreiath III supposed to be? He’s not even good?

I have many problems with True Draco. Anyways, let’s get to the point. (Nin/Long/Din)Girsu’s character arc, as shown through monster cards in the World Legacy story, is much more internally consistent.

Let’s assume that Girsu, the Orcust Mekk-Knight is a de-powered form from after the battle inside the World Gears (presumably he lent this power to Avramax, though this isn’t shown in the artwork; also, he has Ib’s ribbon on his arm). It’s understandable why the maindeck cards and extra deck cards should do something different, and the first maindeck monster is a vanilla anyways, so I wouldn’t consider it that bad of a break. No idea why he’s a Mekk-Knight though.

These effects form a pretty clear pattern. Girsu here sends things to the GY without targeting them and eventually gains protection effects as he grows in power. His ultimate form is the only one that lets him protect other cards, which is maybe a statement on his goals given how long he spent trying to revive his dead sister, and if that holds water, Mekk-Knight Orcust Girsu is evidence of his eventual success. After all, this card by itself can summon every single one of Ib’s forms except her vanilla and Knightmare incarnations.

That is to say, we gain a bit of understanding of Girsu’s abilities, goals, and bond with his sister through the mechanics of his cards, and if you don’t think that’s the tightest shit, well, I just made you read nearly 1k words on why it is. Better yet, there’s more:

Auram’s extra deck incarnations all have ATK-boosting effects, and his World Chalice form translates him getting more powerful with the World Legacies. Both Blademaster and Crusadia Equimax activate effects by tributing monsters they point to, suggesting how he calls upon his allies for help--there’s a reason Ningirsu went off and ended up with a bunch of brass instruments as his only company while Avram wandered the world with his best friend (who is a fucking dragon) and scored himself a choice elf harem. They call him King because he wears the crown, you see?

On the topic of Crusadia, let’s take a closer look at how Equimax is typically summoned. Typically you’ll try to get a Normal Summon on board, hope it sticks to make Magius, summon again to search Draco, and build your way up with Crusadia monsters to make Equimax. Afterwards you’ll want to boost his damage with the effect of Maximus, summon a large monster to one of his zones, or buff him with the spell you searched off of Regulex. Any two Crusadia monsters with different names can do most/all of this, so think of it as an “all your powers combined” thing a-la Metaltron XII, except executed much better.

(Sidebar: If you’re willing to entertain a bit of theory, the Crusadia maindeck is the epitome of a successful flavorful archetype design. Pretty much every Crusadia list maxes out on every monster in the main because they’re all interchangeable, even though they all have different effects. You could argue that Draco and Reclusia are way better monsters than Leonis, but fundamentally it doesn’t matter; you need two of them and it doesn’t matter which two. This lends them a sense of uniformity without erasing their uniqueness, which suggests that the Crusadia are an army of equals and Maximus may be the leader “de facto”. I highlight this because World Chalice tried to do the same thing, except that deck eventually cut its normal monsters down to a single copy of Chosen, and nobody ever played Crowned.)

Meanwhile, Avramax sports his ultimate ATK-boosting effect, protects other monsters from attacks, is immune to targeting (these two might seem out of line, but they’re upgrades of the protection effects that the previous two Mekk-Knight Link Monsters have), and non-target shuffles a card if he dies.

This is where I’d like to shift the direction of this discussion towards power levels and, implicitly, gameplay balance. Yes, I’m about to get into a powerlevel discussion about fictional characters portrayed on Yu-Gi-Oh! cards which have actual power levels, but hear me out.

Based on their original incarnations, Auram is ostensibly the main character, but strictly weaker than Girsu. Both have 0 DEF as Normal Monsters and Girsu has an extra Level and 200 ATK over him. With the power of the Chalice, Auram can revive allies and potentially gain more ATK than Girsu, but there were hardly even 5 World Legacy cards in the game at that point, and Ningirsu actually has removal. Later on, World Legacy’s Nightmare shows Girsu holding his own versus all of the Knightmares, but when it comes down to the climax of that arc, Avram inherits the power of Mekk-Knight Blue Sky and promptly gets overpowered by Iblee anyways, leading to Ib’s death and the scattering of the party (He is also still weaker than Ningirsu here). Auram and Girsu end up at odds several years later as Crusadia Equimax and Longirsu, the Orcust Orchestrator. If you look at the way these two cards might interact as enemies, it tells us a lot about this matchup: Equimax doesn’t start with enough ATK to hit over Longirsu, and Longirsu seems to have the upper hand thanks to removal, but with the power of friendship, Equimax can safely negate Longirsu’s effect and even swing over him. Finally, as Dingirsu and Avramax, Dingirsu loses or goes even at best: Dingirsu sends Avramax to GY, Avramax spins Dingirsu when he dies, both parties end up with nothing. Keep in mind that Avramax no longer needs support from allies to do this and Dingirsu absolutely cannot swing over Avramax at any point in time, so if the resource game isn’t in consideration, these cards will either trade or Avramax will always win.

That’s a cool interaction, but why did I bring up card balance? This interaction was only uncommon in tournament play because Orcust was an insanely popular deck. Playing Salamangreat, I’d regularly make Avramax versus Sky Striker and expect it to stick for a while, but versus Orcust? That boy would be gone in a second, and I’d rather not commit a link-4 worth of material to have a monster die and only get to spin a card. Keep in mind that going card-for-card is maybe not always favorable for the player.

What I mean to say is, Avramax would be a pretty insane card in a format without Nin/Long/Dingirsu’s non targeting removal. Consider the following scenario: Girsu’s extra deck forms do not exist. You are going second versus old Danger! Thunder playing the Trishula fusion. They half combo you, ending on something like Colossus + Avramax made with I:P Masquerena, and in doing so, banish the Borreload out of your extra. Do you even play a card that can out an Avramax otherwise? Probably not. Avramax could have put us into another Dark Destroyer format where targeting sucks, but Girsu kept us safe.

If anything, I hope R&D puts this level of thought into their flavor moving forward. World Legacy was a pretty big success on most fronts and I’d like to see what they do going foward in the next OCG series.

Thanks for reading. This is my first time writing about the game from a non-competitive perspective, so let me know how I did.

[wavering-eyes]

Test Port 1

[This blog post discusses “flavor” with respect to the card design in Yu-Gi-Oh!. If you’re not already familiar with this term, it’s captured pretty well in this article by Mark Rosewater. Just keep in mind that flavor may also describe card effects.

Also, all of the images embedded in this post can be viewed full-size here.]

[Originally posted on notspoondere.tumblr.com. I am the original author.]

With the printing of Girsu, the Mekk-Knight Orcust in Eternity Code and the full spoiler of Rise of the Duelist, it is looking more and more likely that we’ve reached the end of the World Legacy storyline. It’s possible that new story-focused cards for these archetypes will be printed in the future, but it’s probably going to take a backseat to functional legacy support, similar to what happened with the Duel Terminal archetypes that received support in the Link VRAINS sets. As a result, I figure this is a good time to talk about their overall design and point out what I feel is its biggest success over Duel Terminal: flavorful designs.

To illustrate this difference, let’s consider a pretty key player in the Duel Terminal storyline and keep track of his effects as he changes forms throughout the story. (Consult the translations for Master Guide 4 if you’d like evidence that the first three monsters all portray the same character.)

We can see a pretty linear increase in stats from Sentinel to Roach, and he has a theme of caring about level 5 or higher monsters. This gets a pretty nice followup, becoming a Vanity’s Fiend for lv5 or higher monsters in... Evilswarm Ophion, which is a totally different card not present on this chart, because the powers of the Sacred Tree let him nuke the field instead!!

He then inherits the powers of Sophia and ends up weaker because Exciton got banned. Bravo. (It’s worth mentioning that the original form of Ophion, Gungnir, Dragon of the Ice Barrier, has a completely unrelated effect of discarding cards to destroy cards, and Evilswarm Bahamut steals monsters instead of bouncing cards like Brionac, but Evilswarm Ouroboros at least tries to approximate Trishula.)

Can you see the problem? I was going to make another image showing this off until I realized that following Gem Knight Lazuli all the way through Construct’s various forms would take way too much horizontal space, but feel free to construct an explanation in your head for why combining Apoqliphort Towers (the real one) with El Shaddoll Construct (foolish a Shaddoll/Catastor eff) makes Shekhinaga (Divine Wrath on a fusion) or why adding in Infernoid Devyaty (wipes backrow, also tributes to negate a monster) and some ice turns that combo into Anoyatyllis (Konami said fuck Nekroz). It’s because these cards are either not designed for flavor, or are designed around the flavor of their archetypes rather than that of their characters, so the characters in general have a pretty weak identity.

You could maybe say that’s because Duel Terminal is a grand-scale war story, so none of the characters are meant to stick out. That would make sense, sort of, so what about stories with fewer characters that change forms multiple times? The Dracoslayer lore did that.

I’m not typing out all of what Master Peace 2 does, but in case you weren’t around from May 2017-2018, you can read that here. He’s a Wyrm because all the True Dracos are, except his previous form wasn’t, except all of them probably could have been without hurting their chances of seeing play (until we got Guardragons Elpy and Agarpain).

The sole thing that ties all of these cards together is that they supposedly feature the same character, and all have effects that destroy cards. They have about twice as many differences. Master and Luster are both Pendulums, while the other two aren’t. Master Peace 1 is a Special Summon by Tributing, but Master Peace 2 requires a Tribute Summon to gain effects. Master Peace 1 has a negate, for some reason, even though none of the other forms have it, so if he gained it from the Dracoverlord tributed for his summon (these are his enemies, by the way), then he apparently forgot it by the time he reappeared in the story. Speaking of which...

In the lore, he essentially aids three tribes (Majespecter/Dinomist/Igknight) trying to fight off the Amorphages, and the Extra Deck Dracoslayers represent their powers combined. True Dracos exist because, in a totally different world, three completely different tribes (Zoodiac/Crystron/Metalfoes) are being assailed by the True Kings. They form a summoning circle (Dragonic Diagram) to summon him for help, and he accepts the power of the other True Dracos or something. The other True Dracos (who are also based off of the first three archetypes, like the Dracoslayer extra deck... for some reason) are disciples of Mariamne, the True Dracophoenix, who mechanically is a True King and shares minimal synergy with any of these cards, and the one who seemingly gets things done is Metaltron XII, the True Dracocombatant, who probably is just the three tribes’ power combined. Who also gets protection from effects by being Tribute Summoned and also floats into anything from the Extra Deck that isn’t LIGHT/DARK. And Konami says he’s a Zefra now. And who the fuck is Dreiath III supposed to be? He’s not even good?

I have many problems with True Draco. Anyways, let’s get to the point. (Nin/Long/Din)Girsu’s character arc, as shown through monster cards in the World Legacy story, is much more internally consistent.

Let’s assume that Girsu, the Orcust Mekk-Knight is a de-powered form from after the battle inside the World Gears (presumably he lent this power to Avramax, though this isn’t shown in the artwork; also, he has Ib’s ribbon on his arm). It’s understandable why the maindeck cards and extra deck cards should do something different, and the first maindeck monster is a vanilla anyways, so I wouldn’t consider it that bad of a break. No idea why he’s a Mekk-Knight though.

These effects form a pretty clear pattern. Girsu here sends things to the GY without targeting them and eventually gains protection effects as he grows in power. His ultimate form is the only one that lets him protect other cards, which is maybe a statement on his goals given how long he spent trying to revive his dead sister, and if that holds water, Mekk-Knight Orcust Girsu is evidence of his eventual success. After all, this card by itself can summon every single one of Ib’s forms except her vanilla and Knightmare incarnations.

That is to say, we gain a bit of understanding of Girsu’s abilities, goals, and bond with his sister through the mechanics of his cards, and if you don’t think that’s the tightest shit, well, I just made you read nearly 1k words on why it is. Better yet, there’s more:

Auram’s extra deck incarnations all have ATK-boosting effects, and his World Chalice form translates him getting more powerful with the World Legacies. Both Blademaster and Crusadia Equimax activate effects by tributing monsters they point to, suggesting how he calls upon his allies for help--there’s a reason Ningirsu went off and ended up with a bunch of brass instruments as his only company while Avram wandered the world with his best friend (who is a fucking dragon) and scored himself a choice elf harem. They call him King because he wears the crown, you see?

On the topic of Crusadia, let’s take a closer look at how Equimax is typically summoned. Typically you’ll try to get a Normal Summon on board, hope it sticks to make Magius, summon again to search Draco, and build your way up with Crusadia monsters to make Equimax. Afterwards you’ll want to boost his damage with the effect of Maximus, summon a large monster to one of his zones, or buff him with the spell you searched off of Regulex. Any two Crusadia monsters with different names can do most/all of this, so think of it as an “all your powers combined” thing a-la Metaltron XII, except executed much better.

(Sidebar: If you’re willing to entertain a bit of theory, the Crusadia maindeck is the epitome of a successful flavorful archetype design. Pretty much every Crusadia list maxes out on every monster in the main because they’re all interchangeable, even though they all have different effects. You could argue that Draco and Reclusia are way better monsters than Leonis, but fundamentally it doesn’t matter; you need two of them and it doesn’t matter which two. This lends them a sense of uniformity without erasing their uniqueness, which suggests that the Crusadia are an army of equals and Maximus may be the leader “de facto”. I highlight this because World Chalice tried to do the same thing, except that deck eventually cut its normal monsters down to a single copy of Chosen, and nobody ever played Crowned.)

Meanwhile, Avramax sports his ultimate ATK-boosting effect, protects other monsters from attacks, is immune to targeting (these two might seem out of line, but they’re upgrades of the protection effects that the previous two Mekk-Knight Link Monsters have), and non-target shuffles a card if he dies.

This is where I’d like to shift the direction of this discussion towards power levels and, implicitly, gameplay balance. Yes, I’m about to get into a powerlevel discussion about fictional characters portrayed on Yu-Gi-Oh! cards which have actual power levels, but hear me out.

Based on their original incarnations, Auram is ostensibly the main character, but strictly weaker than Girsu. Both have 0 DEF as Normal Monsters and Girsu has an extra Level and 200 ATK over him. With the power of the Chalice, Auram can revive allies and potentially gain more ATK than Girsu, but there were hardly even 5 World Legacy cards in the game at that point, and Ningirsu actually has removal. Later on, World Legacy’s Nightmare shows Girsu holding his own versus all of the Knightmares, but when it comes down to the climax of that arc, Avram inherits the power of Mekk-Knight Blue Sky and promptly gets overpowered by Iblee anyways, leading to Ib’s death and the scattering of the party (He is also still weaker than Ningirsu here). Auram and Girsu end up at odds several years later as Crusadia Equimax and Longirsu, the Orcust Orchestrator. If you look at the way these two cards might interact as enemies, it tells us a lot about this matchup: Equimax doesn’t start with enough ATK to hit over Longirsu, and Longirsu seems to have the upper hand thanks to removal, but with the power of friendship, Equimax can safely negate Longirsu’s effect and even swing over him. Finally, as Dingirsu and Avramax, Dingirsu loses or goes even at best: Dingirsu sends Avramax to GY, Avramax spins Dingirsu when he dies, both parties end up with nothing. Keep in mind that Avramax no longer needs support from allies to do this and Dingirsu absolutely cannot swing over Avramax at any point in time, so if the resource game isn’t in consideration, these cards will either trade or Avramax will always win.

That’s a cool interaction, but why did I bring up card balance? This interaction was only uncommon in tournament play because Orcust was an insanely popular deck. Playing Salamangreat, I’d regularly make Avramax versus Sky Striker and expect it to stick for a while, but versus Orcust? That boy would be gone in a second, and I’d rather not commit a link-4 worth of material to have a monster die and only get to spin a card. Keep in mind that going card-for-card is maybe not always favorable for the player.

What I mean to say is, Avramax would be a pretty insane card in a format without Nin/Long/Dingirsu’s non targeting removal. Consider the following scenario: Girsu’s extra deck forms do not exist. You are going second versus old Danger! Thunder playing the Trishula fusion. They half combo you, ending on something like Colossus + Avramax made with I:P Masquerena, and in doing so, banish the Borreload out of your extra. Do you even play a card that can out an Avramax otherwise? Probably not. Avramax could have put us into another Dark Destroyer format where targeting sucks, but Girsu kept us safe.

If anything, I hope R&D puts this level of thought into their flavor moving forward. World Legacy was a pretty big success on most fronts and I’d like to see what they do going foward in the next OCG series.

Thanks for reading. This is my first time writing about the game from a non-competitive perspective, so let me know how I did.