#op is a fan of cultural differences and the hilarious misunderstandings that happen because of them

[sea-owl]

it's featheruary and we have no wing aus. I must fix this, especially since we have the Featheringtons!

As a huge fuck you to his dad (and may have been unknowingly partially inspired by his best friend's huge flock) Simon took his falcon wings and went around traveling to create his own flock. Making a very well known point that they were all his wards and he was not going to mate any of the women of his flock. Some joined to escape their birth flocks, others to help ease financial burdens, others did it because why not? While this practice was unusual in today's age it was not unheard of especially when it was used during times of war or plague.

When Simon told his aunt Agatha of his plan to create his own flock of wards she immediately sent for his first new one in the form of young Gareth St. Clair and his too big for his body canary wings.

"If you are creating a flock then take your cousin." Lady Danbury ordered. "Lord knows he'll be better off with a presumed rake than with that man he calls father."

The next person to join was Kate Sharma with her peacock wings. With the recent passing of her father and the financial strain on her family Kate began looking for ways to help. She knew there was enough money left for Mary to comfortably take care of one daughter and provide her a dowery but not two. Hearing rumors of a duke's heir looking to create his own flock Kate went looking for Simon. Simon agreed to take Kate on as one of his wards, and unknown to Kate he adds to money she sends her birth flock.

Next to join was Sophie Beckett and her silvery wings. Gareth had found her when Simon went to do business with Earl Gunningworth at Gunningworth's country estate. Gareth had came running up to Simon whispering about a young lonely lady. When Simon inquired further with Earl Gunningworth he was only told that Sophie was the earl's ward. Simon immediately knew the earl was just hiding Sophie away and suspected a former mistress was involved. So Simon took a gamble and offered to take Sophie in as his own ward. Just as Simon suspected Earl Gunningworth was happy to get rid of his illegitimate daughter.

The fourth member to join his growing flock was raven winged Penelope. Featherington. Simon wasn't too proud of how she ended up joining but he knew it was leagues better than where she could have ended up. What kind of father bets his daughter over a game of cards? Simon took a quick trip to the club the night before he and his flock were to leave London again. He needed a drink to steel his nerves as he always did when in London. Simon hated being in the same city as his father. There he overheard Lord Featherington betting the hand of his third born daughter in an attempt to win back some money he had lost. Well Simon couldn't let that slide, he knows of several women who would have his head if he didn't do something. Simon took the bet and won, but instead of a future wife Simon took Penelope in as his ward.

Penelope was sent to join her new flock the very next day, and then they were off to Gloucestershire as Penelope made a suggestion for their next new member, Phillip Crane who had wings like a barn owl. Penelope informed Simon that she met Phillip while on a trip to visit her cousin in the country. Penelope liked the boy but hated how his father treated him. Simon saw what Penelope meant when all he didn't even get to finish his sentence about wanting to see Phillip before Sir Crane pushed Phillip towards Simon and claiming Simon could take him.

Michael was the next to join in all his golden ealgle winged glory. Simon still isn't sure how that happened. He just kinda showed up one day when the flock was in Scotland, and then never left. But Michael really helped bring Phillip and Penelope out of their shells. So despite Michael being a pain in Simon's ass sometimes he did like having him as a member of the flock.

Now Simon definitely remembers how they got Lucy whose dove wings still had baby feathers on them when they acquired her. Penelope had gone to visit her sister Felicity, who still resides in the Featherington flock, with Michael and Phillip. The trio left together and then had come back with a small child. They claimed Lucy's parents had passed and her uncle was evil. They couldn't just leave her there! After writing to Lady Danbury to confirm that the trio did not kidnap a child from a loving flock Simon found himself with his final ward.

Once satisfied Simon then proceeded to travel the world with his flock giving them the freedoms he has been so desperately craving for years. Once in a while different members of his flock will go off and visit their birth flocks. But they always make sure to send note of their safe arrivals and leavings.

In the beginning of season of 1814 Simon receives a letter from Lady Danbury that his father has died. He must return to London as the new Duke of Hastings.

You also have three eligible young ladies in your flock. Perhaps it is time to make their debut and for you to find a mate.

Simon debates this, it is true that Kate, Sophie, and Penelope are all of marriageable age, and as the leader of their flock he does have a duty to make sure they are married and matched well, as well as Lucy when she is of age.

He brings it up to his right hand Kate, who wrinkles her nose in confusion. "I suppose it would be right to make sure Sophie and Penelope find good husbands."

Simon doesn't mention how Kate doesn't include herself.

"Edwina wrote to me as well. It appears Lady Danbury is sponsoring her this season. I want to make sure she finds a good match as well."

So off to London the flock went, thankfully Lady Danbury always threw the first ball of the season. So at least the flock would be somewhat comfortable.

Or not.

Kate looked ready to punch someone. The plume on her wings clearly ruffled. Penelope looked plain miserable as she tried to hide herself in her wings. Thankfully Sophie just seemed fascinated with the environment around her, her wings relaxed.

Time for some intervention.

"Phillip go dance with Sophie, Michael dance with Kate." Simon ordered.

Phillip and Michael looked confused. Simon gets it. Usually they paired off by age, Simon and Kate, Michael and Sophie, and Phillip and Penelope. But Simon knows Kate needs Michael to make her laugh right now, and Penelope needs Simon's reassurance or she's gonna try to blend into the walls. Phillip's calmer personality will help in keeping Sophie calm.

Before either of them could say anything Simon pushes them off. "Go on, dance with your flock mates."

Simon offers his hand to Penelope who smiles as she takes it. Leading the red head to the dance floor they start the dance. Slowly Simon watched as Penelope looses the tension in her shoulders. Glancing around the room Simon saw Kate laughing and looking more cheerful at whatever Michael was telling her. Phillip and Sophie looked to be having fun too.

At one point dance partners join in a circle with another pair before they temporarily switch off and then repeat to switch back. The pair that joined Simon and Penelope looked to be brother and sister. Simon would put them about a year a part with the brother being older and the same age as Michael. Their blue jay wings immediately give away which flock they belong to.

"Hello sir," the girl greeted. Her voice was light and musical.

"Hello Miss Bridgerton," Simon greeted her.

"I do not believe we have formally been introduced," the girl said.

"No, we have not, but your wings easily give you away," Simon said.

Miss Bridgerton thought for a moment before nodding in agreement. "Yes I suppose they do. Well since you know my family name it is only right you know my given one as well. I am Daphne."

They twirl and Simon is glancing around for the rest of his flock mates. It was weird, so much blue around them. The only one who wasn't paired with a blue winged partner was Michael who somehow ended up dancing with Edwina.

"Simon Basset," Simon said.

They switched back to their original partners, and Simon raised an eyebrow at the slight blush on Penelope's cheeks.

"Did you have a lovely chat with Mr. Bridgerton?" Simon asked.

Penelope nodded. "Yes, he was quite kind."

The dance ended and Simon led Penelope back to the rest of their flock.

"Basset?"

Simon looked around at the calling of his name. No one here has called him Basset, they've all called him Hastings.

"Basset!"

Through the crowd appeared Anthony Bridgerton.

"Bridgerton!" Simon smiled.

"How are you old friend?" Anthony asked as the two men briefly hugged.

"Learning about how true all your whining was back at Oxford," Simon laughed. "I swear my little wards are giving me gray hair."

"Hey!" five voices shouted behind Simon.

Anthony peaked around Simon's shoulder at the mismatched flock. "When I heard the rumors all those years ago about you creating your own flock I thought surely they had it wrong."

"This isn't even all of them," Simon said. "The two fledglings are at home asleep."

"Trying to copy?" Anthony joked.

Simon played along. "Mine are clearly the superior version." Pointing to each one Simon introduced them. "This is Kate Sharma, Michael Stirling, Sophie Beckett, Phillip Crane, and Penelope Featherington. The fledglings at home are Gareth St Clair and Lucy Abernathy."

Simon turned to his flock. "This Viscount Anthony Bridgerton, some of you already became acquainted with his siblings on the dance floor."

Later on Kate had gone off with her sister saying she will be home tomorrow after spending some time with Edwina and Mary. Simon nodded and after making their farewells to Lady Danbury the flock returns to Hastings House.

"He's trying to fuck me!" Was the only thing the flock heard when Kate came home the next morning.

Several members chocked on their food.

"Kate what are you talking about?" Simon finally asked.

"Your buddy Viscount Bridgerton had the nerve to unfurl and show off his wings in public to me! Right in the middle of an argument too!" Kate exclaimed.

Simon felt his protective nature over his flock creep up, and had to slow his words so he doesn't start stuttering. Something wasn't adding up. Yes it was common that the unfurling of wings and showing the underside of them was part of the mating dance in many parts of the world. Also yes Anthony was one of the biggest rakes he has ever known. But Simon knew, that Anthony knew how to act in public especially with gently bred ladies.

"Kate, tell me what happened exactly," Simon said.

Best to figure this out before the others try to send Penelope out for retcon.

Meanwhile across town Anthony was trying to not strangle his brothers who were laughing at him after accidentally unfurling his wings in a threat display during his argument with Miss Kate Sharma.

[paulisweeabootrash]

New Year’s Mini-Review Pack 2019

Another year is over and I want to make the mini-review pack from last year a yearly tradition to announce it.

Sometimes I watch shows that I have something to say about, but I don't feel like writing a real review of them.  Here are the five I want to highlight this year.

Happy New Year, nerds!

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1. Food Wars (2015)

Episodes watched: 7

Platform: Hulu

Souma is in the family diner business, trained by his father on expert renditions of “low-class” foods.  He expects to continue in the family business, and even rescues the diner (via cooking, naturally) from sabotage by a developer trying to pressure his father into selling the building so it can be replaced with high-rise apartments.  But despite that, his father shuts down the restaurant “for a few years” to go abroad and sends Souma to a fancy boarding school for aspiring chefs.  The school is sprawling and eclectic in a way only anime boarding schools can be.  And, like any self-respecting anime boarding school, it naturally has three things: an absolutely nonsensical student government, an extraordinary level of old-school elitism, and most importantly, duels.  Disputes can be settled through challenges of head-to-head Iron Chef-style cooking, with wagers riding on them ranging from "you have to join this club if you lose" to "you're expelled if you lose".  As far as I’ve watched so far, there are a few episodes focused on setting up the premise and main characters and a few focused on these competitions between students.  Although the latter concept can be tedious because I’m not much of a tournament show person, it is nevertheless fun because this show commits to its absurdity.

Classic W/A/S: 6 / 7 / 3

Weeb: Ludicrous school setups!  The main character progressing through a series of duels!  Tentacles!  In-depth descriptions of Japanese food!  It's not the kind of weeb that makes it incomprehensible to those not familiar with the tropes, but it's certainly very Japanese.

Ass: This show has been described to me by several people as "literal food porn", and... yeah.  The cold open scene to the first episode contains... uh... basically tentacle porn.  I'm sorry.  The feelings of characters' pleasure (or revulsion) in food is depicted metaphorically and absolutely over-the-top, often with the pleasure of delicious food being heavily sexualized.  And there's plenty of sexualization of both male and female characters even outside of these scenes, although it never crosses the line into full nudity.

Shit: Very well-drawn!  The food is particularly gorgeous, as you'd expect, but the other imagery is creative, and the melodramatic writing and music are not bad, even fitting for so outlandish and cheesy a concept.

PS: I haven’t actually tried making it... yet... but the gag dish introduced in ep. 1, grilled squid with peanut butter, sounds good to me, despite the negative results you can easily find... and others seem to agree, since the concept predates the show.  Just make a peanut-butter-based-sauce rather than just using peanut butter and it should be fine.

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2. Hinamatsuri (2018)

Episodes watched: 12

Platform: Crunchyroll

Hina, a time-traveling middle-school-aged psychic, arrives in our time, in the apartment of a very confused yakuza operative, Nitta Yoshifumi, who takes her in.  Shenanigans ensue, mostly centering around hilarious misunderstandings and the dubious life lessons Yoshifumi and other mobsters impart.  Mostly, the comedy and story are propelled by Hina and two other girls we meet early on: another time-traveler, Anzu, who is sent to retrieve her, fails, and gets stuck in our time, and Hitomi, whom Hina meets as a classmate when Yoshifumi enrolls Hina in school under the name Nitta Hina (claiming she is his daughter), and who gets intimidated into taking an after-school job as a bartender that she struggles to keep secret. The show's format is two segments per episode focusing on different slice of life-ish stories (though with solid continuity and more ongoing plot than you might expect for that characterization), and is usually comedic but also veers into drama and incredible sweetness.  Hina is deadpan, bad at conversation, and unable to unable to understand the context or motives of what others are saying, in a way that honestly almost makes me think autism(?), but I'm guessing is probably supposed to just be "she was raised in the creepy time travel organization and they didn't train her to socialize".  Anzu is a different outcome of the same deprivation: after not returning Hina to their own time, she moves into a homeless camp and quickly takes in the life lessons of the residents, becoming earnest, helpful, and incredibly resistant to spending money, but completely baffled and amazed at how our world works.  Hitomi, the only "normal" one, is just... the best.  The episode about her first becoming a bartender felt like a backdoor pilot, and if it were I would absolutely watch that spinoff.  The first segment of ep. 10, also starring Hitomi, is the funniest "compounding misunderstandings"-style comedy I've seen in a while... and I'm a big Arrested Development fan, so that means something.

Classic W/A/S: 3 / 2 / 3

Weeb: There are some distinctly Japanese traditions depicted, but most elements of the show could be moved to a different setting and "reskinned" for different cultures' organized crime, foods, shopping options, homeless camps, etc., without sacrificing any of the plot or comedy.  Mostly, its distinctly Japanese features are that it relies on imagery and exaggerations that absolutely scream "comedy anime".

Ass: Sexual humor and references, occasionally, but not going to far. Recurring nudity, but not full and not for fanservice.  Actually, it seems as if they've taken a cue from Terminator and assumed that, for whatever reason, you have to time-travel naked.

Shit: This show is practically made of reaction images.  Although it's not the best animated, it's very consistent, clean, and expressive.  They do well with how they did it.  The show practically demands a second season in its last episode, and I think it could make it all the way down to a score of 2 or even 1 on here if they do so and upgrade the animation a bit.  The characters are distinctly and pleasantly designed and rarely does a scene go by that isn't hilarious not because of some kind of rapid-fire jokes thing but because each segment is set up so well and characters play off each other.  Hina's lack of affect gets a little tiresome, but the other characters are great, and usually get a large chunk of an episode's screentime.

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3. Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?  Arrow of the Orion (2019)

Episodes watched: n.a. — movie

Platform: in theater

Picking up sometime between the first and second seasons of the main series of Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon (or Danmachi for short, derived from the Japanese title), this follows the main cast of Bell Cranel and his ragtag dungeon-crawling party on a new quest. Artemis, Greek goddess of chastity and hunting, is in search, via Hermes, of an adventurer who can wield "the Orion" (a drastically OP spear with the power to kill gods themselves) to destroy Antares, a monster who keeps wiping out adventuring parties and has become a threat to the entire world because [spoiler].  A love... square... ensues between Bell, Hestia, Lili, and Artemis, and other various shenanigans happen that will make much more sense if you've seen the main show and its companion/spinoff, Sword Oratoria. I personally didn't find the affection between Bell and Artemis particularly believable, and I didn't expect the ending to go quite the way it did, but I try not to complain about a story not being the story I wanted it to be.  Watch it if you're already a Danmachi fan or really really like weird takes on classical mythology.  Skip if not.

Classic W/A/S: 3 / 4 / 4

Weeb: Prior knowledge of Danmachi helps immensely, but is not strictly required as there is a and although the show is another "what if we just mix a bunch of mythologies together?" and "what if a real world functioned on RPG logic?" premise, it does occasionally have an idea thrown in that will be foreign to much of the American audience (even if not distinctly Japanese), such as the Buddhist idea of gods themselves being reincarnated (something that also came up in Noragami).

Ass: As the after-credits interview feature says, they wondered whether or not they should keep -sigh- the panty shot.  And they went with "yes".  Also, peeping on women bathing has, unfortunately, become a running joke whenever Hermes appears in Danmachi, so be prepared for that.  Without giving spoilers, though, let me just say I hope not all of the nudity comes off as sexual.

Shit: The monsters are hit-or-miss CGI, sometimes blending with the 2D animation of the rest, sometimes looking so jarring it's actually funny. The 2D art is usually beautiful, though, and as much as I love the show, this is definitely an art upgrade overall.  The plot has a few dumb elements, honestly, or at least not well-enough-developed ones, that make me wonder if it could have worked better as a story arc in the show itself (actually developing a relationship between Artemis and Bell).  The score is a mix of reused tracks from the show plus some new stuff that sounds pretty Jurassic Park-era John Williams to me.  A few subtitle choices are noticeably different from the show, but not consequential to understanding things.  There were a lot of ugly audio glitches, especially early on, but I hope that's a problem with the equipment at the theater I went to and not the editing of the movie.

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4. Supernatural the Animation (2011)

Episodes watched: 1.

Platform: Hulu.

This show follows Sam and Dean Winchester, who -- yup, you're on the right blog, and yup, that's "Supernatural" as in the long-running American live action series.  For those not familiar, the original is a sprawling drama set in basically "our world except all mythologies and folklores are true", and follows the aforementioned Winchester brothers, who hunt monsters in situations that range from their straightforward monster-of-the-week investigations to meta-humor to multi-season story arcs involving multiple trips to Hell itself.  My wife is a huge fan, so I've seen a lot of episodes just incidentally, and enjoyed some of them, but haven't really followed the show.  She assures me, though, that this anime adaptation is loosely based on the first two seasons.  So loosely that at first she thought it was some sort of interquel or sidestory.  The first episode comes off feeling like you're supposed to already be familiar with the main characters -- that they're brothers, that they're monster hunters, why they're looking for their missing father -- because not much actually gets explained.  It’s unremarkable and badly-executed and ugh.

Classic W/A/S: 3 / 1? / 7

Weeb: Although the source material is American (and further back, European and Middle Eastern, given the influence of European folklore traditions and the Abrahamic religions on the choice and depiction of monsters), it's presented in a very Japanese style. This is especially true in reworking the original's horror tendencies -- the blood splatter from offscreen and the writhing, lurching body horror that is the shapeshifter seem much more like what little I've seen of Japanese horror than American.

Ass: I forgot to write anything for this immediately after I watched it and I don't care enough to go back and check but I don't remember anything that would fall under the headings of fanservice or general nudity.

Shit: Variable.  There are occasional moments of bad CG, occasional low-frame-rate weirdness, and disjointed storytelling compared to what I've seen of the original.  The art style is pretty interesting, though, because it's not something you see animated much -- its angular faces and stark shadows remind me of the darker end of American superhero comics.  Although it's certainly not the technically worst show I've reviewed in either story or art, I find it extremely unpleasant and do not want to continue past one episode.  If you feel like doing so, feel free to tell me if it gets any better.

Content: Violence and horror imagery is somehow both less extreme and more successfully unsettling (at least to me) than those in the original live-action show.