#op fully derailed any plans i had the moment this was on my dash

[sea-buns]

Okay the first and last verses are immediately so clear. Both are very finale episode coded. And then everything in the middle reads to me like both of their reflections post-separation.

To break it down:

I originally saw "You and I are friends of empty graves" as referring to the deaths of Raphaniel and Karna, but I can also see it as a reference to the events on Glucian Road. Either way, both are stating that the binding thread between them is the death of others. And while the assassination is what drove them apart, the deaths of their comrades were a contributing factor to them sticking together in the end. "Am I the only thing that keeps you safe when the light is gone?" reads so strongly as Colin's thoughts prior to leaving Deli. In his eyes, no secret is worth this. So as the realization of what's been done washes over him, and he looks at Deli who is otherwise unaffected by the cruelty they've committed, he finds himself reconsidering his role as Deli's protector. Questioning if Deli even needs the help anymore; wondering if he'd even want to stick around either way, now that he's lost all sight of the light at the end of this tunnel.

The second verse reads like the moment Deli commits himself to this call of destiny. It is the nail in the coffin of his spiral into ruin. "I'll be worth more than all the silence left in my way". He's been given a taste of what being important feels like, and has latched onto it as his one-way-ticket to greatness. It's a stark refusal in becoming the same wall of useless silence and ignorant uninvolvement as the ones who preceded, and stood alongside, him.

I can't help but read the third verse and immediately picture Deli sat in the hold of a ship, alone, holding the cheese-rind dagger to his chest as Evanescence plays in the background. He never regrets the blood on his hands or his decision to hold his ground in the argument with Colin, but it does nothing to abate the fresh pain of being so suddenly all alone. The open wound of having your best friend look at you with so much sadness and disappointment, never break from speaking with such a calm despondence, throw his weapons down at your feet and leave. Deli is committed seizing destiny now more than ever, but there is always going to be a space in the back of his mind that is occupied with the grief of separation and constant thoughts that it was him, his actions, his words, that pushed away someone that he held in such high regard and cared for so deeply.

The first half of the fourth verse, "But I still hold out hope that maybe someday / I'll be worth more than all the silence left in my way", sounds like Colin's version when he chooses to become a Bulbian Knight in pursuit of ending the FDA. It's a motivation born from saying "fuck it" after living your entire life in fear and then doing a terrible thing because you needed to keep running. If the secret that he'd been so scared would pop out and melt him alive at any moment hadn't been held over his head, he never would have gotten involved in all of this. But now that the truth of both sides has been exposed, he figures he might as well do what he can to make all those mistakes mean something.

"And when you break the surface oh without me / Please don't return me to the dark of all the memories" is a reflection of their reunion in the tunnel. It's the lingering longing and pang of jealousy that comes from watching each other in battle, fighting seamlessly alongside their respective trusted companions, and realizing that the other emerged on the other side successful, and accomplished, and without you.

I am so in love with the way that the last verse circles back to the first. "You and I are friends of empty graves, black air and black, black lungs" speaking of both of them losing the people they "replaced" the other with, the ensuing panic as they sprint through tunnels clouded in toxic spores, the reminder of the deaths that led them to this destiny. "Let the dirt hang heavy in your chest / Drag me deeper down the long, dark ground" the heavy burden of grief that quickly overshadows any sense of relief from what can hardly qualify as victory.

"Am I the only thing that keeps you safe when the light is gone?"

vs

"Know that all my love will be your breath / I will save you when your lights go out"

Colin repeatedly making the choice to turn around for Deli even if it gets him killed. To go from the hesitation to remain as his protector, to being so utterly stripped of any grudges or bitterness between them that at his very core all that exists is the love that he holds for Deli. The love that overrules any thought that isn't "I will save you", circumstances be damned.

colindeli edit with canary in a coal mine by the crane wives

there's something there I know it