#ooooh pretty snake!

[yanderenightmare]

ooooh what kinda mythic creatures are the jjk boys?

Gojo, Sukuna, Toji

TW: implied noncon, yandere, the supernatural?

gn reader

Gojo Satoru Hybrid between angel and human

His hair is pearlescent and so are his wings—soft feathers, sharper than blades when he wants them to be. His halo can only be spotted when the sun shines extra bright—like a ring of stardust slowly orbiting his crown.

He doesn’t know his parents, nor which one of them was the angel. But it’s not something he cares much about. People call him Icarus, and he tries to live up to it the way he drowns himself in another’s embrace every new night—never the same one.

Never the same one until you. Another hybrid. No part of Angel, though…

He falls in love with it—all of it—the points of your teeth, the tiny horns that protrude from your hairline, the slim tail adorned with that pretty arrowhead, and the equally sharp look in your eyes as you glare at him with disgust.

He wants to know more. Do have markings in unseen places? How far does your tongue stretch, and is it split down the middle like with a snake? Is it venomous? Is it sweet? Does your skin burn to the touch like the sun does when he flies too close? Or will it be warm and soft and pliable?

He and his angel eyes freak you out. You advise him to leave you alone, the point of your tail threatening to slice his throat open. You’ve been shunned enough by humans—you don’t need to add a snooty angel boy to the fray. 

But then he calls you beautiful. And no one’s called you beautiful before.

Ryomen Sukuna Hellhound

The few times humans have dared try to tame him have all been devasting days of fire and death. Silly humans, thinking they can make him do his bidding like another mutt on a leash—he’ll make them all burn.

But then there’s you. You’re not like the other humans. You don’t come to him with any intention of collaring him. Instead, you have your hands folded together in prayer—sweet scripture leaves your lips, soothing his singed skin until it stops burning.

You wear holy robes and a kind smile on your face, you don’t avert your eyes even as he glares at you with the embers in his own, even as he growls and bares teeth. You don’t ignore him when he speaks, either, even when his tongue comes out split through the middle and all his words reek of smoke. You bathe him in holy water and rinse the soot out of his fur—telling him he’s a good boy.

He feels no desire to bite your hand as you pet his head and stroke his ears—he just ends up wagging his tail. But then again… he is still a hellhound. And you should know better than to feed monsters in the dark…

He leaves his room in the chapel and sniffs yours out—nothing, not even so much as a seal on your door to keep him out. You have too much faith. Your door creaks open, but you remain peacefully asleep—all soft snores as he mounts you with drool dripping down his canines…

Fushiguro Toji Hunter

Rumor has it that something far worse than ogres and trolls travel the forest. Beware of the hunter—all you little nymphs, fauns, and fairies. Some say he’ll stuff you in a bag and sell you, while others argue it’s his appetite that makes him hunt—some even mean it’s just for sport, that he’ll kill and stuff you and mount your head on the wall.

You, a poor forest nymph, are unfortunate enough to get yourself caught in one of his nets. You’re a crying little mess by the time he comes around—begging him not to sell or eat or skin or harvest your wings, barely breathing between the words.

He chuckles and promises you he won’t do any of that stuff, but the smile on his face is enough to convince you he’s possessed by some sort of demon. And as he hauls you up on his shoulder and starts carrying you further into those places you’ve never dared venture, into the thicker parts of the forest where the trees all seem riddled with some type of disease—you can’t help but believe all those rumors you’d heard.

He tells you that his snares and nets are meant for rodents and that he didn’t think fae-folk were dumb enough to get themselves caught by them as he starts cutting into the net to free you—only, he doesn’t stop at the net—but goes for your slik garb next. Whistling as he bares your pretty skin while pinning your small wrists above you in one meaty hand.

His grin is sharper than his knife when he advises you not to struggle, saying he would feel awful if he were to accidentally cut you.

♡ Nanami, Fushiguro, Naoya ♡ JUJUTSU KAISEN masterlist

[fairytsuk1]

going multiple rounds with alex (AND he cums inside every time) 🙏🏼

going multiple rounds with alex<33

“i-i can’t, alex!”

“come on, baby,” he groans and a bead of sweat trails down his jaw. you eagerly suckle on the skin to his dismay, and his hips stutter inside you with a deep moan.

alex loved having you like this; client with the squish of your thighs under his fingertips as he drove his thick cockhead in hard before languidly pulling out.

you’d already gushed around him twice, leaving a creamy ting around his base as a broken wail escaped you, “oh—ooooh! shit, ‘lex!”

“yeah? oh fuuck,” the wet squelching of your gummy walls is all you can hear while you boyfriend folds you like a chair. “can feel myself in your tu—ungh, your tummy, baby.”

his dick is in your guts, fully nestled right against your womb as his precum messily mixes with your cum. a line of drool pools and spills from the corner of your lips. it feels too good, the heavy coil in your stomach furling into a red, hot snake of pleasure.

alex’s hands fist into the pillows and his hips punctuate his words with deep thrusts that leave your eyes rolling back. sticky strands connect the two of you as he dives in for a kiss and rolls his body on top of yours.

“gonna cum? yeeeah, you’re fucking gripping me,” he pants with his gaze locked directly on yours. your face twitches and screws up as your walls squeeze him. he’s barely moving, just humping you desperately as your back arches. “that’s it, you’re so pretty. fuck, fuuuuuck.”

“‘m gonna cum! wait, ah-ah-ah! w-wait—!!”

your trembling lips part in a wide ‘O’ as you squirt on him. your legs threaten to squish his sides into oblivion, your gossamer fluids drenching his waist as you cum hard. alex can barely hold himself up with flexed biceps as he nestles inside you, “ohmy—god.”

his smoky groan leaves you whimpering as he fills you with each white spurt of cum. alex’s hips buck up into you and you’re pawing at his chest, desperate for relief.

“fuck.. mami, you’re so fucking gorgeous for me.”

you can barely respond as you struggle to catch your breath in alex’s arms. he doesn’t move, softening inside you as blurts of his release spill from your twitching hole. he hums and gently lays his body weight on you, a satisfied sigh escaping him.

“next time, we go for four.”

[fisheito]

wanted to get my thots about mirage of scales in one place so let's go thru this thang again and see if i can ,like, feel things

(gonna list my highlights of each story section so yes, it's gonna be. long.

FIRST OF ALL, WHAT A POWERPLAY TO SHOW US THE SCALE RELIC AS EACH PART OF THE EVENT PROGRESSES ooooh i was getting so excited when the relic was clearing up but they HURT ME IN THE SECOND HALF

WHY IS IT TURNING BLUE. NO. NO DO NOT DO THIS . DO NOT !I SWEAR TO DDOG MAKE IT GO BACK *bacskspacebackspacebackspace*

then Scales-13 is sitting there all glittery and sooo pretty upon a plush purple cushion like wooow isn't that nice?? look! we made the scale so shiny and vibrant and it's got lively streams of beautiful wisps-- NO SHUT UP DON'T HSOW ME THAT 😭i'M GONNA THROW THAT THING BACK INTO THE SEA (now i'm wondering why they made the final cushion purple. i mean, yes, purple simply does not miss, and it is the most regal of hues, but also. puplelkl? kuya? he's propping up umi in his last act? hm. hmm.)()

Let's get tooo ittt

SCALES - 1

Eiden, yaku, and oli looking for recipes together = me kicking my legs and giggling, looking adoringly, eyes sparkling, soaking in the warm softness and comfort of it all, rolling around in my eternal fascination for finding new things to eat

kuya: lol u thought *(kicks down the fluff with his chunky heels* yakumo: {={pP=P=PPEOPLE EAT YOKAI MEEEAT????!??!?!! kuya: :) oli: dont be scare lil buddy it's just an outdated rumour 💦 kuya: bet u they used to eat them with forks made out of their victims' spines yakumo: {{{{SHAKING}}}}}}

I SWEAR THE MOMENT I SAW THEM INVITE OLIVINE

I KNEW LOGICALLY THAT THEY WEREN"T GONNA HAVE OLI IN THE EVENT BUT IDK MY DISBELIEF WAS SO SUSPENDED AND MY DREAMS WERE SO LOFTY THAT MY HOPE SOMEHOW SKYROCKETED AND I GOT SO EXCITED FOR OLI TO SAY YES

CURSE YOU UNSPECIFIED TEMPLE THINGS!!!! TKAING MY JOY AWAY!!!!

nvm my joy returns thanks to the hilarity of oli's referral i like to think that these two developed a mutual understanding during elysium so oli , with a respecvt for kuya, offers him up as a worthwhile companion..? alternative.lyy, oli trolling like, i don't want kuya stirring up trouble without eiden around (because the universe knows how much of a sulk he'll go thru without his fave plaything around) and the old man is just fidgeting in the corner looking so bored and jUST waITING for someone to invite him on a little trip so why don't i take initiative here ✨✨ invite him for you ✨✨✨

maybe one day i'll get a yakuyoli event11..... one... one day.......... *deflates(*

SCALES - 2

surprised that peepaw endured an entire boat journey without setting the thing on fire. my headcanon that he gets seasick or whatever is shot down. alas. he CAN stand on a boat and not vomit all over the poopdeck. my jokes are in shambles. fine. maybe he got better after all his boat trips with huey. you win this time, foxyboy......

once again, my stupid little optimism was sOOOOOO glad to have the village chief interrupt the villagers hostility to be like "heeeyyy it's ok.... we're not used to strangers but we should let these guys help with the ceremony" i went, oh!!! maybe the elder is indeed wiser than the masses!! and he'll help talk sense into these xenophobic ppl!! ahahaha. oh, me. naive as the snake....... anywa.y.

eiden, i love you for being such an excellent mediator. you speak for the shy but easily shutdown-able yaku and the "first resort: burn it down" lavender diva. thank you for existing, and being here, and knowing words. lov e u. mwah.

SCALES - 3 i ahte these villagers but i love their fabricular gifts unto us (the event outfits) amen. thanks. brb getting yakumo that light rainproof jacket that he will surely need because he's cold all the time probably .

i am now of the belief that not ALL the vilalgers were pure megadouches. some of them had the foresight to offer *just the right* fits for the three of them. Or maybe they just grabbed 3 vaguely-similar-sized outfits and threw them at eiden, who then got to choose which one kuya/yakumo wore ..... what if it ended up switched and kuya got the fish bikini abnd yakumo got the fluttery deity gear? ...gonna think about that for a while.

SCALES - 4 once again, i was delusional when i thought that kuya was the one to jump into the water to save the kid. inhuman speed? yeah sure kuya can do that! saving a child? uhh,, maybe kuya would do that... if there were no witnesses? saving a human child? uhhhhhhhhhhh ok maybe not kuya why did i even think it would be kuya. he's got his fancy threads on (that eiden might have handpicked) . no way is he getting those wet

it's cvuzz i didn't expect THEIIS THIS!!!!!!

BRO WHAT YALL NEVE R MAKE NPCs LIKE THIS by which i mean this guy is protagonist coded and yall have only been making neutral-to-evil NPCs with a few exceptions lik.e. water consul. l(whispers: love u) so now you're presenting me with NPC, who has a FACE, and FEATURES, and just SAVED A RANDOM CHILD, AND HE'S BEAUTIFUL? ofdmgidrefgsjidokrdglsjrdhgsoliioldjeiuirhedkjsda let me stare at him please can i add you to my collection i promise i'll give u only the qualityest of feed. what do u want. bloodworms? live snails? fresh crab? I'll fight those crabs for you. i'll pick their finicky flesh from their carapace. whatever you want i'll get it for you

i'll never tire of this, btw. eiden, who is just a guy, trying his best to be approachable and nonintimidating with gorgeous dudes decorating him like a wreath. it's fine. everything's normal. no need to be alarmed, hydrodynamic stranger

and for the second time this event, yakumo's yokai sense tingles and kuya offers a (patronising?) "GOOD FOR YOOOOUUUUU guess you're not completely human-washed after all"

SCALES - 5 girl, what?

for a solid minute i thopught we got ourselves into another cult situation like, lining yakumo and eiden up for human sacfirice or smth. toss em into an active volcano style i just thought PLEASE SIR NOT THIS AGAIN WE CANNOT LET YAKUMO BECOME A CULT MAGNET HE'S GOT ENOUGH TRAUMA FROM THAT

....then they end up just putting their hands on the fish scale to make a wish and i feel a bit of relief that this isn't going into maiden sacrifice territory

THE SCREAM I SMERCEAMT

IT"S HAPEPPPNIGNINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG THE SCALES ARE OUTTTTTTT NO WAY YOU GONNA PUT KUYA AND YAKUMO IN AN EVENT TOGETHER AND NOT TOUCH ON THEIR ANIMAL SIDES I WOULD RIOT YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THEY BETTER ALSO TOUCH ON THIS IN THE INTIMACY ROOMS YOU CAN'T JUST CREATE A SPRITE FOR THAT AND NOT USE IT OUTSIDE THE STORY I'M ONTO YALL YOU'RE GONNA COME THROUGH I JUST KNOW IT YESSAAAHSHSHSHHHH o wait yakumo's in pain and the villageres are about to berserk ok focus stop projecting into the whateer we gotta FOCUS ahahahaha look at em scramble around all scared of scaly yakumo

no. go back to being panic. no brazen. do not eene cen THINK o fit

[[they surround yakuei]] NOT THIS AHGTIJT AGAIN oh thank heavens ok at least the village chief is semi reasonable . not immediate bloodshed. we're fine. probably.

SCALES - 6 eiden: yakumo!! how are you feeling!! that relic really messed you up, huh? yakumo: getting away from it helped. my skin's back to normal me: 😒tsk.

and of course kuya is not going to be a convenient plot device and HELP YOU out of a situation. no. he's gonna lounge in a tree somewhere and watch umi be a Very Good Lad and sneak you out of house arrest. dreamy sigh. thank you magic jailbreaker umi!!!!!!

and all it took was umi acknowledging yakumo's existence for me to hop back on the yakubicycle ring the bell dingding!!! all aboard!!!! UMI GET ON !!WE GOT A BOY TO GRIND INTO DUST *slaps a helmet on him* *makes my YakUmi dolls touch tails*

and of course

kuya switching between "ok little one i'm about to give you the schooling of a lifetime because CLEARLY you don't understand how this savage world works" and "oohhhh how could i, a humble little fox of generic stature and lineage, possibly measure up to the greatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgreatgrandchild of the Biggest Snake Ever? oh nooooo. i'm but a widdle boy. don't look to me for answers :3" sassy little......

SCALES - 7 yakumo: what,, what if we all just hugged and held hands with the humans??? umi: 😔 kuya: lol nah get a load of this *turns on the projector so that horrifying visions of the past play on the walls* eiden, yakumo, umi: 😨😨😨 MY FISH FRIENDS! NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -> had to lie down for several moments after this section. dude.... the massacre... the one-sidedness... th savagery o f those indigenous to the island... euuuuuuuggrrrhhhhhhhhhhrhrhhrgghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *holds a tiny umi in my palm* WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO... WHEN YOUR LIFE EXPERIENCE IS AT ODDS WITH HISTORY... WHEN YOU LIVED FOR SO LONG PROTECTING THE DESCENDANTS OF PEOPLE WHO DID THIS TO UR ANCESTORS... WHO MAY NOT HAVE COMMITTED THE CRIMES THEMSELVES BUT THEY DON'T ... do they try to atone for it? did they learn from it? does it matter?? jdoSJDAUDAWKDJAWWLAWWOPAEWAEPORL:FKS

oh frick story is happening wait recalibrating

villagers: THEY'VE COME FOR OUR BLOOD yakumo: (visibly shaking) i don't hate humans!! i... i've never wanted to hurt humans! please, we may be different, but-- kuya: (smiling while the storm rages around him)

me: steadily inching toward kuya in terms of "i agree with this one i'm kinda excited to see yall suffer"

>!>!>!>>!??!?!?!?!??! YAKUMO??? WHAT R YOU DOING??? DID YOU JUST MAKE A GIANT SHIELD?!?!?!?!?!?!? BABY BOY WHAT IS WITH YOU AND THE SHIELD.S. YOU ARE SUCH A SHIELDER. DIDN'T YOU DO THIS RECENTLY IN THE STORY WITH BERSERKER OLI? OHHHhh, i'm so proud of you you couldn't have done this 2 years ago!! you've come so far in terms of essence control and you're always using it to protect people you're doing so good and i-- CLIFF HANGER??!??!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!

a moment to breathe, if you (i) please. a moment to consider: what does yakumo's shield technique look like? hm/ / . more on that later.

SCALES - 8

WAHT IOSWRONG WITH YOU!!! DUMBASSES!!!!!! no, not dumahzsss. estupido. gonk. IDIOTA

YEAH!FILL THEIR LUNGS WITH SOUR GUMMIES, EIDEN

WHAT IS WRORNG WITH YOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

THESE ppl are so incredibly stupid that i cannot even fathom............ this boy is saving yalls asses with a giant shield (tbh, if he can make such a giant shield he could have chosen to make a smaller bubble shield or smth that only saved eiden/kuya/umi . but he consciously chose to protect ALL of u)

YAKUMO MAY HAVE MERCY ON YOU BUT I WON'T *clambers over the giant wave with my supersoaker full of piss and who-knows-what-else-concoction*

SCALES - 9 imaginging umi sneaking into the lighthouse at night to feed the fish scale his lil blood drips like a pet a pet thats keeping all these ungrateful humans alive

umi: um. why is it doing that. *points to village chief kneeling befor ehim* kuya: what did i mcfkin tell you. humans suck eiden: hella yakumo: my worl d is crashing down was mmy life a lie can humans and yokai really coexist with each other ? yes of course they have to be able to there's no way that humans are evil and to doom them would be too cruel-, adn yet how will the complicated history between umi's ancestors and- umi: i'm not sure how i can help kuya: i mean it's totally your choice. what does it matter to me ? you can do wahetevr you want and ultimately, it's not like any of our opinions matter because nature will reclaim us as it so forcefully reclaims all. why fuss over such trivial decisions when we are but pawns of fate. but yeah. killing them sounds pretty peachy right now ngl

SCALES - 10

you are too nice umi the paths that require the least amount of effort from you will let the villagers wipe themselves out

the fact that kuya is willing to drop the origins of the relic and how to potentially make a new one?? i guess he's not being such a hermit crab about info... so he's being generous in his own way by sharing knowledge... and umi can make an informed decision.

i gotta say that i was mini-spoiled on this part of the story, compeltely by accident on someone else's part... there were multiple tumblr ppl posting about their reactions to the story and going "IF UMI DIES I'M GONNA BE SO ANGRY" and i, living in a lala ideal world of my own, had never even CONSIDERED that a possibility but once i read other's fears about that potential future i was like NOOOOOOOOO AND NOW THEY'RE GIVING UMI AN OPTION *LIKE THIS* OH NO OH NO OH NO THEY'RE REALLY GONNA DO IT THEY'R EACTUALLY GONNA KILL A NICE NPC WHY WOULD YOU BLESS ME WITH THIS BEAUTIFUL FISH AND TAKE HIM AWAY FOR SOMETHING AS STUPID AS A PROMISE OR WHATEVER

SCALES - 11 cheering, whooping, hollering as kuya sets the village chief on fire

umi: i;'ll protect these humans with my own blood because i loved one centuries ago yakumo: humans have been kind to me so i'll protect them from a tsunami even when they're threatening my life kuya: idiots. babies. sentimental little fetus yokai. let me bring some consequences back to ur actions mr greedy wretch of a human *starts turning SUPERPURPLE*

hOL Y SHIgha kuya let him go? i was prepared to see some new bbq on umi's floor.. surprising........................... not as vengeful as i thought, kuya.... or rather i guess your senpai senses are tingling and you're ultimately leaving this business up to umi cuz, really, this IS umi's business and not kuya's 😞

SCALES - 12

sigh... yeah... you're right, eiden.... i need you to inject some Good Sense back into my violent tendencies... biggersigh... i would have loved to doom those villagers to sopping wet destruction but... right, right umi's lived for a long time... and eiden's crew have only known him for this TINY window on that timeline... we dont know him.. we dont know his life ☹ we AREN'T in a position to interfere with his decision...

*slams fist on the desk again* GOAWDH, UMI, WHAT WAS SO HECKIN SMPECIAL ABOUT THAT DUDE YOU KNEW THAT YOU'D GO THIS FAR FOR HIM??? UGH THIS POOR LONELY GAY FISH I'M so anGYYYYYYYY 😫😭😭😭😭😭😭 *watching umi fade into the white screen* this is stupid my chest hurts 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

SCALES - 13

SCREAMS BEAUTIFUL FSIIH *POINTS*!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BLUE GREEN SCALES!!!!!!!!!!! UMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII YOU'R EFISH AGAIN??? REINCARNATED? RESET? CYCLE ANEW? kuyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i hope you used your bonkers godmode gamebreaker powers to somehow scrape the barrel of umi DNA and remake him or like; f;just;;; idk reset the clock on him even tho you don't approve of his decision

GAAAAHHHHHHHH this event!!! suffering!!!!!! suffering ana dammdbiguity!!!!!!! no giggles!!!! only existential crises and racism and reminding us of the different lifespans of humans vs yokai and now i bet all the frreaifsjsekles long-lived boys on my screen right now (yakumo and kuya) are gonna have to make some decisisons about how to deal with their incoming grief about EiDen leaving this plane of existence well before theyre ready tio part a and nOOOO i'm not gonna think about that umi is ok and fish again and he's gonna outlive all the predators and be so super cool and resplendently scaled and shiny the whole time that he gains enough magic power to become a yokai again and then he'll live a happy life with people who don't suck and and and eiden's gonna live forever witht eh power of gay neon gemstone and the elemental spirits kissing him gently on thecheek and nobody will have to sob fat tears over their beloveds ever ok goodbye

[boopshoops]

Ooooh Shoopy I think I got a good one!!!

Snake or treat!

hi nette!! :DD

I bestow upon you...

a snake treat?!

[tiny-xander-adventures]

can you give terrarium xander a snek fren?

ooooh… that’s a pretty big snake… do we think Xander can befriend him?

[fanfiction4sooya]

Thoughts on somnophilia mimin ??????

cw: smut, noncon, dubcon, fingering, masturbating, somnophilia, porn without plot, + 18, etc

ooooh anon, your mind.........

I think they both unknowingky have the same kink!! but of course miyeon is too scared to act on it, but not minnie. I really get the vibe "i get wahtever i want" from minnie, so it's not even a surprise the first time minnie sees miyeon with pink booty shorts and goes insane, quietly breathing on her ear while she sleeps.

minnie's hand first snake through her pajama top, lightly grazing her nipples, getting them stiff with just a few touches. She loves the little noise that comes out of miyeon's pretty lips and how she brushes her thighs together in her slumber; next thing minnie knows her fingers are tracing small patterns on the other's clothed clit. She can feel how it gets sligtlhy hard, miyeon's eyebrows knitting together, that feeling growing inside her; she whimpered ever so soflty when her friend's hand pushed past her shorts and directly touched her wet slit, soflty inserting one digit inside her

she's wide awake now that minnie is pumping her fingers in and out of her but it feels so good to know minnie couldn't hold herself any longer :( and she knows it's wrong but her pussy clenches so good when she is being used like that and her brain is so foggy she can't even pretend she ins't enjoying every single thrust inside...

minnie has to really contain herself so she won't slip three fingers into her pussy, the feeling of having miyeon like that felt surreal and so fucking arousing it's insane she hasn't done it before.

it takes no time for miyeon to cum, her wetness leaking onto her pajama pants and minnie's hand. She gathers everyhtiing she can and puts it in her mouth, using her free hand to touch herself besides her "uncounscious" friend and cumming so hard she has to bite her fingers not to scream, tears rolling down her closed eyes as she shakes on the bed trying hard not to wake the other up from her slumber

from that day on they spent a lot more time "sleeping" together. and funny enough miyeon started to wear nightgowns way more often...

[sephirthoughts]

favorite character asks: vincent valentine/18 & raiden(MGS)/3 please!

ooooh thanks for the ask!!! (from this ask game)

18. Do you prefer to see this character suffer or know peace? Angst or comfort? Both?

poor Vincent I just want him to be happy!!!! but honestly, all his horrible trauma and guilt and the eternal torment of immortality that awaits him in the future are all part of what makes him a compelling character. if he was just some guy with a pretty ok life, there'd be no story. he'd still be pretty though.

3. What first drew you to this character?

oh, Raiden, i had such a complicated relationship with him 😂. when you first meet him in metal gear 2, he's this lame little tryhard Solid Snake fanboy who wants his codename to be Snake too, and they tell him NO which is just...fucking priceless. i was like who is this dweeb.

then you get deeper in and there's his absurdly melodramatic backstory as a child soldier who had to kill enemies on his birthday to prove he was worthy to live, on top of all his hyper-edgy "there was lightning on the night i was born" broodiness, which turns into the whole "I AM THE LIGHTNING" thing. fucking. i laughed till i cried over his edgelord theatrics. i already loved him so much for being an adorable loser but THEN

THEN

you're playing as old snake, in metal gear 4, who is literally dying, and at one point you're way out of your depth and he's exhausted and out of ammo and surrounded by enemies but…oh? what's that??

FUCKING RAIDEN DESCENDS FROM THE HEAVENS IN FULL ROBOT BONDAGE GEAR LIKE THE GOD OF CYBORG SLUTS AND KICKS ALL THE GIANT ROBOTS' ASSES IN HIS CYBERNETIC HIGH HEELS (which by the way he uses TO WIELD HIS SWORD WITH HIS FOOT)

after that he proceeds to have history's most homoerotic boss fight with Vamp, during which they both end up soaked in weird white fluid (not joking even a little bit)

AND THEN

and then there's Revengeance, in which they double, triple, and quadruple down on the gay theatrics, until the edgelord graduates to edge-emperor and cements his place in history and my heart forever.

pictured below: raiden serving so much cyborg cunt it's literally illegal

note that he's still wearing the high heels

thank you for the ask!!!! 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

[wisteria-lodge]

bird primary + burnt snake secondary

 tl;dr: Fairly sure I'm Lion primary (maybe burned Badger since I sort of envy the idea of close communities, or hedonistic Snake, not sure where that line is)

(the way that divide works out is that basically, Burnt Badgers look like Snakes. They have the Snake's small community, but wish they could cast their net wider. Hedonistic Snakes tend to be more solo, and much more focused on /stuff/. Also, both options make pretty good short-term coping mechanisms.)

but unsure whether my secondary is Bird, Snake/burned Snake, or burned Lion.

I love researching and reverse-engineering and my immediate response to situations is to Google advice, but reactively, not proactively. I am allergic to planning, and prepwork feels stifling and unnatural.

Ooooh, have we got a single-player Environment Snake? (I also think of these as MacGyver Snakes.) Basically just pulling at the things around you in order to solve the problem at hand.

I studied math in college then did a coding bootcamp, and I always felt adrift because both only taught memorizing solutions to individual problems/proofs, not how to solve unfamiliar ones -- i.e., really learning. 

However, I neither consider myself flexible nor want to be, and singleplayer Snake is wayyyyyyyyyyyy more comfortable than stuff involving other people. (Complicating factor: not neurotypical.)

I think I can say, pretty confidently, that this system works just fine if you're not neurotypical. :) There's no reason you have to use the multi-player version if you don't want. The most dramatic single/multi player divide is probably Bookkeeper Badger vs Courtier Badger, and there are lots of people who prefer being just one or the other.

I do the "faces" thing reflexively, in the moment, but it doesn't feel like "shifting" or "becoming" anything: just me, lying.

That's Snake. "Becoming" is more of a word that a Courtier Badger would use, they kinda do have to believe it, or it doesn't work. Snake secondaries are a lot more aware of what they're doing, in the moment.

It's interesting that you are just straight-up using the word lie though. In my experience, Snakes are more likely to conceptualize that particular problem-solving strategy as "say it in a way they'll listen to," or something like that. You might just be super direct (and/or like hanging out in Neutral) buuuut... the negativity of "lie" can sometimes point to a Burnt secondary. No sign of that yet, but I'll keep an eye out for it.

I don't have a moral problem with lying; it's often even right since a) telling the truth often hurts people, and b) people do prefer it: most people want to hear what they want to hear, and if that happens to be the truth that's great.

Hmmm. This is sounding like primary stuff. And it's quite reasoned out, which makes me interested in hearing why you went for Lion primary instead of Bird.

But deep down, I guess I resent it. I wish that when I say what I mean it would convince people rather than create problems. I try to ration that to only things that REALLY matter to me, but tbh many things do. I hate arguing.

What I'm hearing here is the Bird primary fantasy of "If I was only able to explain it exactly right, in precisely the right words, then everyone would agree with me." And as you say earlier, it doesn't actually work like that. It sounds like you're feeling a bit cynical in regards to other people a the moment, and I can't exactly blame you.

I would love to be an inspirational secondary but I am bad at inspiring people.

There is definitely some burnt secondary talk going on here.

Family: I'm not close to my father -- he’s a terrible person, serial cheater, racist, etc. I'm closer to my mother, and don't think she's a bad person, but both parents were hypercritical and have horrible tempers, so my childhood felt horrible to live through since I was always getting yelled at or having corporal punishment used for doing something wrong.

Definitely seeing where the burned secondary energy is coming from, if so many of your formative experiences involved being told that the way you were doing things was wrong. I also see why you might have at least a fascination with the confident, firey, speak-your-truth-and-damn-the-consequences Lion secondary.

(On paper this could be called abusive, and anyone else being subjected to this makes me furious, but I'm not fully comfortable with the label for my situation, even though I know that's inconsistent.) 

I understand, and I appreciate that. I also appreciate your carefully articulated position, and it's slanting me in the direction of Bird primary. Even though this is obviously a topic you are very emotional about, all those emotions are arranged within the framework of thought. You're aware of and okay the fact that you feel all kinds of different ways about what happened.

Any secondary model came from my mom, but I don't know about primary. She always says my sister and I are "the most important things in her life." (One of the reasons I don’t want kids is that I don’t think I could ever believe or promise them that.) She ostensibly also hates my father and their divorce was vicious, but she kept working for him until he retired, goes on trips with him to see my sister or me, and pressured me for years to un-estrange him because “after all, he’s family” until I gave in and now pretend to have a relationship just enough to placate them. I don't have any ethical problems doing this, it's just irritating.

That is very, very unusual family dynamic. Have to get my head around that. Your mom may have some very intense Badger going on, especially with the the whole "after all, he's family" thing. That could fit go with a nasty divorce, especially if she thought his presence was a threat to you and your sister. On the other hand, she might just be able to compartmentalize to an insane degree, which would probably point to Bird secondary.

I don't understand this aspect of my mom; I observe it happening, but I don't understand it. It feels kind of sad, in an existential way. 

Honestly, I agree.

(Another way my dad sucks is that he played favorites with my sister and I, me being the favorite.

Being the Golden Child sucks just as much as being the Problem Child.

The shitty resulting dynamic is I only "care about" his approval to avoid him creating drama that ripples to everyone around him -- he's gotten better but he has literally started shit when I didn't end emails with "love" -- but my sister actually cares about his approval, and it hurts her.)

Secondary-wise, my mom would always harp on me to "pay attention to the people and things around you," and whenever I tell her about solving problems in Snakeish ways she's like "way to go, [me]!" But she also is meticulously planned and scheduled and organized, and hates surprises and not knowing exactly what will happen. She's the kind of person who gets frustrated in April when I haven’t told her my Thanksgiving itinerary, which, like... I don't want to think that far ahead.

She could be either Prep-work secondary, Bird or Badger. If she's a Bird, "pay attention to the people and things around you," points to a a Rapid-Fire Bird (which can look *very* Snakey.) Or it could be a way of describing Courtier Badger. Being that scheduled is more often a Bird thing... but I could also imagine a Badger manifesting like that, especially if she is so concerned with specifically planning holidays.

Low-stakes/high-stakes problem that felt good: This is a high-stakes problem containing a low-stakes problem. I'm rolling them together because they illustrate both aspects of my problem solving.

Higher stakes: That coding bootcamp required being on Zoom 8 hours every day. But I had 3 roommates (part of why I did it was to not have 3 roommates), and they didn't want me there that much. I can't go to coffee shops because either they're loud, or I will make them loud by talking for 8 hours, thus becoming the problem. Coworking spaces are expensive af. I even consider renting a storage unit but I don't think they have power and wifi. The idea I settle on is sneaking onto a nearby college campus: preferably the CS building, to blend in. I scour the college subreddit for posts about what buildings let students in without ID, then scout them out (this is March, the thing doesn't start until May, I'm just high on must-solve-now energy). After ~15 minutes (lol) of walking through campus I decide I've had enough, seems doable. The day of, I leave early in case I have to give up and go home, but that turned out to be completely pointless because tailgating in is shockingly easy. Like it's scary how easy it is. One day a security officer stopped me but even he eventually let me in after I acted increasingly frazzled and panicked -- not ENTIRELY an act but I definitely was playing it up.

I like this story. And I feel good about saying that it is QUITE snakey: what do I have immediately around me, and how can I use it to get what I want in this moment? Even little details like - you're not bothering to come up with a cover story or borrow/forge someone's ID. If you're caught you'll talk your way out of it. You did a little research, then scoped the place out, then were good to go.

Lower stakes: I usually did classes from an empty auditorium (students weren't supposed to be there but no one checked, and also I'm not a student right?). The whiteboard's eraser stand was a few inches away from the wall, and one day I drop my phone in the gap. Shit. The gap's way too high to reach down. I can't ask anyone for help because I'm already 2 layers deep of being somewhere I'm not supposed to be. The stand screws to the wall, but I don't have a screwdriver because who just carries a screwdriver around? (For whatever reason, going to a hardware store didn't occur to me.) I stare at the thing until I realize: I am literally in the ENGINEERING building. I search various offices, ask people for a screwdriver, but no luck. Then I see a board listing the departments. One floor has a "makerspace," and somehow, its door is wide open (the student lounge is locked down but the room with deadly power tools isn't, ???) I grab 5 sizes of screwdriver, then also grab duct tape and a ruler to fish my phone out in case the screwdrivers don't work, which turned out to be a good idea because they didn't

Sounds to me to me like you just MacGyvered a solution :D

One thing I am picking up on is your subtle critique of the existing rules/systems. Getting in via tailgateing is easier than it should be, talking your way past the guard was too easy. The door with the powertools really should be locked, etc. It's making me (again) think Bird primary for you. You've very tuned into the way things run, and how well designed (or not) that is. There's also just a little bit of Birdy rules-lawyer in "Students aren't allowed in this room, but I'm not a student (because I snuck in.)"

Hard decision-making process…. I don’t know. I don’t experience many decisions as hard. I often know what I want to do right away; the difficult part is doing it.

In the language of this system, that's a Burnt secondary.

Or I know what I should do, am obligated to do, have no choice but to do, etc., though sometimes it feels miserable or wrong, like resignation.

Unfortunately that is what it feels like to have a Burnt primary - you just use whatever problem-solving strategy you can at random, since they all feel like a chore and it doesn't really matter.

I can feel proud of making certain "right" choices in an abstract self-congratulatory way, but I never like it or really feel good about it. I either act on something immediately or put it off until the decision makes itself, a drop-dead deadline approaches, I get bored/impulsive enough to do it on the spot, or I suddenly swerve my life toward something I like better.

You're definitely an Improvisational secondary. Which is really fine, even though I know it doesn't feel that way all the time when you come from a family of intense Prep-work people. Just keep an eye on that 'wait until the deadline' impulse. It's very, very common for neurodivergent people to use that last-minute stress adrenaline to kind of hack their brain, and it's not sustainable.

I'd wanted to change careers for years but the actual decision to do the bootcamp was an impulse based on ~3 hours' research the day I encountered it.

That can absolutely work though. You *are* working on the problem and mulling it over in your head long term, even if you are (in the words of another snake secondary) "waiting for the opportune moment."

This is all healthy and well-adjusted, and it definitely has never caused any predictable problems! (Did get a job though.)

Hey, if it's stupid and it works, it's not stupid.

My fantasy: To be successful and well-known in my field; to create the kind of art I want to create and have it be respected/influential. To live the life I want, with the aesthetic I want, and the opportunities from others and follow-through from me to achieve that. The details vary based on the field but that's the general template. 

I'd say that's a very human fantasy, without too many details that slant me one way or the other, in terms of this system. There's definitely a focus on the community around you and how you relate to it/integrate into it. And that makes me think Bird (the external primary) is more likely than Lion (the internal primary.)

Characters: I relate to characters who are flawed in the same ways I am -- they feel like cautionary tales -- or sometimes via empathizing in a way the story doesn’t (Carlotta from Phantom got done DIRTY).

It's interesting that you respond to characters who the narrative framing doesn't support, because the narrative framing doesn't support them. I guess that does fit with your interest in constructed systems, and if they're useful/functional or not. Which points to Bird.

On that big pop culture character test I always get Hannah from Girls and Gaius Baltar from Battlestar Galactica: harsh, but not wrong.

(I always get Inara from Firefly and Céline from Before Sunrise.)

It's been a second since I've seen Girls or Battlestar Galactica, but I do think that both of those characters are Bird Snakes, which is honestly impressive since Bird Snakes are easily the least common fictional archetype.

Baltar is clever, adaptive, reactive, he pulls from around him. He also bluffs and will *act* like he's an expert when he really isn't. A lot of his internal conflict revolves around extremely Bird primary rationalization - is this situation really his fault? and if it is, what is he morally/rationally supposed to do about it (if anything?) "Voice of *a* generation" Hannah also has this way of getting caught in her own feedback loops when trying to figure herself out. One of my favorite moments is the bit where she loses her purse on the way back from the wedding, and then rides the train all the way to Coney Island, sits on the beach and eats the slice of wedding cake while watching the sun rise. I think that's beautiful, and a very Snake secondary response.

I also gravitate toward a specific archetype: Blanche from A Streetcar Named Desire, Madame Bovary, Violetta from La Traviata. People who desire an impossible thing deeply and unshakably, temporarily achieve it, and are taken down dramatically.

Now that, I'm thinking is a story structure that you like. And/or you're drawn to these tragic great ladies, living most of the way in a fantasy world. It's a good, cathartic archetype.

What makes me feel powerful: I don’t really resonate with that framing. The closest is that feeling like I have no options is the same for me as feeling powerless.

Okay, "not feeling powerless," I'll take it. And we're back to that Burnt secondary again. I'm hoping you'll leave your Snake a little more room to breathe and play, because it seems like you're a pretty capable person. You manage to do the things you want to get done, and you have an excellent awareness of what are good and bad situations, both for you and just in general.

Thank you to anonymous for such an excellent submission. If you'd like a Sorting of your very own, commissions are open on my ko-fi. :D

If you'd like to read more about the system I'm using, my explanation is right here.

[brandwhorestarscream]

I think brainstorm probably would be in one of the brothels to help fund his unofficial lab/science projects

Ooooh!! 👀 yeah alright, I'm down with that

He's pretty, and he's a flight frame, which are always in high demand. I could definitely see him snaking his way into one of the nicer places--nothing name breaking, not any of the super super high end ones--but he trains rigorously and entertains customers during the day and takes classes at night. Its how he paid his way through school 😌

And even after getting his degree, he found funding for... anything, really, to be extremely limited. The powers that be are stingy, who knew? So he continues working at the House, much to the delight of the manager 🤭

How long until someone he knows finds out he works there? How long til someone he knows books an appointment? 👀 only time will tell

[contentfarms]

i'm new here so i'm sorry if you've been asked this before but is there any genre of content farm you dislike? also do you prefer to watch content farm videos involving media you're actively into or will you watch things even if you're not familiar with the media being farmed for content?

ooooh no i haven't really actually! these are good questions thank you!!

this got long so

first question:

cute animal posting farms on social media. that genre of content farm actively enables and performs animal endangerment, abuse, and cruelty for viral content. go on one and watch for a small prey animal interacting with a dog or cat, or a reptile slumped forward as if sitting up straight, a "rescue", etc.

i do not like them, i REFUSE to watch them because i do not want to give them even my adblocked clicks. there is a subgenre of youtube channels that own pacman frogs, snakes or other large meat-eating herps for the sole purpose of feeding them assorted live animals and record it. these are content farms that are actively committing animal cruelty and absolutely sadistic shit at that. they make me sick.

second question:

this is a really fun qurestion because the answer is... uh. BOTH! because my other special interest that is a media is a manga that has a youtube anime content farm adaptation, and another sp/in that's the specific animation company behind that content farm and several other youtube anime content farms

and i went so long watching digital circus content farms without seeing the actual shwo that my friends started begging me to just watch it

also one of my friends was just. being psychologically tormented by the fact i was watching HHMC without having seen the actual hazbin series. the reasons for that are 1. i can't fucking stand alastor but he's pretty funny in HHMC, 2. it's in general funnier than the show is

i got off track i had to cut a large rant about why alastor as a character pisses me off

[tobyfoxmademeascaly]

Dawntrail Part 11

second dungeon lets go besties

you are a vicious little creature and so spirited and I love you

ohhhh pretty

... im not sure if i trust this party comp

welp that's my first dungeon death.

YOU ARE A VILE BEAST.

SHITHEAD. GET DOWN HERE

oh hey this guy gets to have unique hair

not only is he taller, he's fucking BUILT. just look at those forearms compared to the guys down below!

with people both bringing up how wonderful the golden city of legend is AND how nobody has been to it and returned (except gulool ja ja maybe? Can't remember off the top of my head if he actually entered or if he just located it.) I'm thinking its a case of either the residents being violently xenophobic OR the whole thing being a Lotus Eater situation.

ANOTHER FRUIT GUMMY OBTAINED. hey how stressful was it for gurfurlur to hold onto that tiny little thing for all this time. itd be like being tasked to hold onto a grain of sand for him

probably trying to get one of you to break off to be harassed without backup. wait. WAIT WHERE IS ALPHINAUD WE LEFT HIM AT THE FOOT OF THE MOUNTAIN. HE'S UNATTENDED

I would call you a snake but that would be an insult to snakes

That's your mom, I'm guessing?

go shonen protagonist go

okay good. not kidnapped

... less good!

EVIL FUCKING LIZARD(S)

oh first echo vision of the expansion

hey. how about you let me take your heads, since you don't seem to be using them.

...i have been emotionally smacked with a trout. Never change, Critically Acclaimed MMO Final Fantasy XIV.

This Game is An Experience sometimes

i love you shonen cat. You are cringe but its out of sheer earnestness

ooooh pretty

love how the trust npcs have running commentary and fuck up mechanics the first time

I love her your honor

Another fruit gummy obtained!

Also we got a bit more info on the Golden City, but I'm out of image space for this post. The more we learn, the more convinced I am that it's a Lotus Eater sort of situation. Also I'm pretty sure the "goddess" they mentioned is gonna be that hyur lady on the poster.

Next up, Yak T'el!

[missterious-figure]

Mamba Mama Gen has been drawn!

She is basically the same as her crow counterpart, only more cold blooded and venomous! She is a Black Mamba whose words are as venomous as her bites at times. She is still a sweet mother to many though. In this versions she would be like 6’7 so tall af but smol compared to other reptilians.

I decided to change her from going from a common bird to the deadliest snake ever because I thought it be fun. As in W&F, she be one of the oldest reptiles, would be retired from performing and helps out with the hatchlings and would enjoy being around Sun, Moon and Eclipse and seeing them interact with Baby Snek Tia. She would love finding warm spots to sleep in and take naps while Tia slithers around the place in her curiosity

OOOOH!!! Pretty mama snake!!! Now I've got to stop all these gremlins stilling my Suns, Moons, and Eclipses!!!

[winterweary]

Mammon + 🍓🦇 MC?

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, babe, it’s pretty n’ all but what are we waitin’ for…?”

“Shh, be patient! You’ll see.”

You grin at the face Mammon makes, ‘Be Patient’ one of his least favorite phrases, right after ‘Compounding Interest’ and ‘Stay’. The two of you are seated on a grassy hillside in the human world, looking out over a small park through which a rugged river was slugging through.

“I want to bring somewhere special,” you had told him, “Somewhere I used to go when I was a kid.” Mammon of course was happy for any excuse to get you all to himself, and chance to go off on a proper date with you sealed the deal. He’d been buzzing all day, trying to guess where and what this special thing was as you’d biked through town, ate a lazy lunch and just did…normal date stuff. It was almost breathtaking how comforting it was, to get him alone and just be a couple like any other for a day.

“Ooooh, do we get to eat those now?” Mammon lit up as you pulled out the strawberries you had picked out at a farmer’s market with him.

“Mammon, I saw you sneak at least three before we even got here.”

“Whaaaat? Me? Nah, must be some other Mammon you’re thinkin’ of…”  You rolled your eyes playfully, and he grinned, snaking an arm around your waist to pull you into his side. Lifting a strawberry to his lips, you watched him nip it from your fingers then picked up another for yourself. They were delicious, both sweet and tart, right at the end of their growing season and warm from baking in the sun all day.

“Mmm, not bad,” Mammon hums, nuzzling even closer to you, “Reminds me of somethin’ else sweet I like…”

“Not now!” you laugh again, shoving Mammon away as he fought you cover your neck with messy kisses, “Mammon! We’re gonna miss it! Look…”

With a dramatic, beleaguered sigh, Mammon lifted his head and loosened his grasp on you, following your indication to note that the park had begun to fill with other onlookers. The spot you’d brought him to, however, remained rather private, the secret location well-kept in your family.

“Everyone’s here to watch the sunset?” Mammon asked curiously, noticing now that the sky had begun to burn with oranges and golds.

“No – oh! Look! There was one!” you gasped, grabbing his knee and pointing again. There, from a crooked point in the riverbed, a single black shape came tumbling up into the air. Mammon leaned forward curiously, squinting to try and mark what it was.

Then, with a cheer from the gathered crowd, there was a rush. Spilling into the sky, tumbling together as one and many, bats gushed from their cave. Their chirps filled the air, the sheer volume never failing to surprise, and for a moment the sunset was obscured by their dance. Mammon, squeezed at your arm, and you tore your gaze away to take in his look of awe (with a hint of nervousness). It reminded you of the first time your mother had brought you here, when you were small enough still to be carried. How magical it had seemed, watching these creatures tumbling and twisting, a throng never crashing into one another or falling to the earth.

The moment stretched on, the movements hypnotizing. Then there was a softening, almost like an exhale, and the bats dispersed into the night. You and Mammon continued to watch silently, until the sky had darkened to blue twilight and you could no longer pick out any bats in the sky. Only then did Mammon move to pick up a strawberry and bring it to your mouth, waiting for you to bite the sweet fruit before dipping his head for a long kiss.

“Worth it?” you asked softly, wrapping your arms around his neck as he set the berries aside and dipped you down over the grass.

“With you? Always.”

-

Send me an Obey Me Character and an Emoji (or two) and I'll write a ficlet or HC post for them.

[hotchshands]

fave cm eps

* these hit different

a list of cm eps with my reactions/comments about each and the occasional pic of hotch

s1 e6: LDSK

- i’m a whore

- hands on the hips😫

- the suit, the fluffy hair, the sunglasses🥵

- him teaching spence to shoot🥺

- him being a bully to spence to get to the unsub 😓 but like it’s hot…

s1 e7: the fox

- “is this your daddy” lol yes he’s my daddy😩 (9:30)

- derek in a suit

- 😳 why gideon screaming like that (14:11)

s1 e10: the popular kids

- reid i beg you please stop putting that much sugar in your coffee😭

- derek in a suit again😩

- hotch and elle 😳 they are the reason for my bisexuality😭

s1 e16: the tribe *

- the way he pulled out his baton…🥵 (38:28)

- him without his blazer/suit jacket on!!!

- i want him to toss me around like that and throw me on a table😩

s1 e19

- happy birthday daddy🥳

- …marriage troubles 👀 👹

- lol him sitting on the plane pouting like a baby🥺 (6:30)

s1 e21

- they go to the CIA😩

- princess diana’s death was definitely not an accident… penelope’s right

s1 e22

- hotch in a pirate hat🏴‍☠️

- him & haley 🤢 THAT SHOULD BE ME😤 smh

- smily hotch tho🥺

- spence and his mom🥺

- i’m just gonna pretend that that’s me being all lovely dovey w hotch and well you know😉

- i can see his right boob😮‍💨

- not her showing up at the BAU

s2 e1

- hotch sitting like a whore… sir i will come over there and jump you😩

- he did the tie thing😩

- not spence having his mom to help them on the case😭

- spencer’s mom >>>>

s2 e2

- spence with glasses🤓

s2 e5

- hotch standing like a whore (30:10)

- elle said fuck the law

s2 e9

- emily arrives!!

s2 e10

- imagine waking up next to hotch😩

- sir-😳

s2 e12: profiler profiled

- reid being a goofball

s3 e14: damaged

- 👁👄👁

- sir-

- ooooh divorce 👀 rip

s3 e19

- i hate to say this but i feel like that blonde lawyer and hotch probably had some 🌶 but for the stake of my sanity… i’m paranoid and they did nothing together☺️

- derek calling penelope babygirl for the first time🥺

- hotch calling out some lawyer for wearing a fake rolex 😭

s4 e16: pleasure is my business*

- megan kane my love🥰

- “how am i a whore?”

s5 e6: the eyes have it

- his tan skin with that suit🥵

- his hair has finally grown a bit thank goodness

- his face is so pretty 🥺🥴

s5 e10: the slave of duty

- hotch helping jack with his tie🥺

- lol not the bau carrying haley’s coffin rip girlie

- also emily i can see your boobs😩 i’m looking respectfully

- his voice is so sexy🥵 daddy? i’m sorry daddy? 🥺

- spence’s long hair… a flop🤢

- i know he’s talking about his dead ex-wife but god damn sir😩 i beg of you

- jack looks so sad😭

s5 e22: the internet is forever

- “what did you do, join a boy band?”

s6 e6: devil’s night*

- dad!hotch

- jack is soooo cute🥺

- i wanna crave pumpkins and go trick or treating with them😭

s6 e9: into the woods

- he’s wearing his quarter-zip😩

s6 e22: out like a light

- soccer coach! hotch 🤪

- 💦💦💦💦

s7 e1: it takes a village *

- beard!hotch 🥵💦

- bark bark woof woof grrrrr 🥴

- his hair grew 😩

- him sitting in front of the chairman in court 👀

s7 e2: proof *

- cooking lessons🍝

- i wanna be mad at him but he too sexy🥴

- is it just me or did he lose weight??? he looks skinnier 👀

s7 e4: painless

- jack + hotch 🥺🥰

s7 e6: epilogue

- he looks so sudjbdjd this season🥵

- ARMS

- rolled up sleeves 🥴

- “hotch rocket” 😭 yes penelope!!!!

- please shot me sir 🥺🔫

s7 e10: the bittersweet science

- not beth🙄

- smily hotch🥺

s7 e11: true genius *

- saw a gif of hotch’s hand from this ep so i’m adding it to the list🤰

- ok but his hands!!! 😩 oh and don’t forget the rolex🥵 (8:06)

- spencer speaking at some event lol he looks so cute — oh and emily’s there too for some reason

- spence girlies come get y’all’s juice

- he’s so socially awkward… me too😔

s7 e13: snake eyes

- derek and penelope 🥰

- ok but like derek… 💦💦💦

s7e14: closing time

- smily hotch 🥺

- …beth again🙄

- valentine’s day!!!

- date night things

s8 e10: the lesson

- he’s so pretty🥰🥰🥰

s8 e12: zugzwang *

- the way he just pushed reid into that hallway😩 that should be me!!

s9 e5: route 66

s9 e22: fatal

- hotch with kids👀

- not that teacher having a crush on him but like i don’t blame her cause bitch me too… however imma find where she lives 👹

s10 e5: boxed in *

- 🌧🌧🌧☔️☔️

- 🎃🎃🎃🎃

s10 e13: nelson’s sparrow *

- cabin in the woods🪵

- rip the best founding father of the bau

- he looks so BIG🥵

- 🥹🥹🥹🥹

s10 e19: beyond borders *

s10 e20: a place at the table

s11 e9: internal affairs *

- hotch sitting in a chair

s11 e22: the storm

- hotch gets arrested rip

[jacklucian2000]

୨୧ Javier Escuella x John Martson ୨୧ Boat ride ୨୧

Warning Smut !

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

       Javier sat down cocky and full of himself. Five dollars in and John still thought he had a chance at beating him in knife play. Javier's hand moved fast and quicker 

than the last time. John coughed up the money and then stabbed the knife down on the table. 

       "Alright, you win, cheater." 

       "Hey I'd rather be a winning bragger than a sore loser." 

       "Watch you're back Javier, I'll be coming." 

       "OoOoh! Sneaky like wolf. I'm sure you were taught well." 

       "Shut up!" John yelled. John stormed off leaving Javier to be. Javier walked off picking up his guitar smooth like as he rested by the fire. His songs, no louder than usual, hummed through the camp. John cooled off steam, losing a game of solitaire to himself. He mumbled profanities while Javier sang them. It wasn't a fast night there just wasn't much to notice in the slow repetitiveness of it. Javier sang and John entertained himself across camp. Unknown to Javier, John had a sharp eye on him. Night began to fall the sky now becoming darker and darker. 

       The singing died as Javier went to his open tent. It was dark enough to sleep and quiet enough for no one to notice. Javier began to unbutton his garments to prepare for sleep. The thin barrel of a gun was placed on his back. A suburban accent spoke at a distance. 

       "I hope you didn't expect we wouldn't find you." The voice spoke sternly and terrifyingly. 

       "I didn't," Javier accepted. "I didn't know a bad actor would be robbing me tonight." 

       John sighed. "I think it's less about the money." his voice returned to normal but his Mauser pistol stayed pressed against Javier's back. Javier turned around pushing John's gun to point upward. He gripped John's hand and brought the gun down lower. The pistol faced upwards at eye level. Javier licked up the barrel. 

       "Let's stay quiet. I don't want to attract any wolves." 

       "Shut up. We can't do it here anyway. We'll wake up the whole camp." 

       "Then... where?" 

       "Let's try on the boat." 

       "I..." Javier questioned the idea with firm and confused brows. As he entertained the idea his brows rose. "I think that is not a bad idea." John accompanied a smile with a laugh. They made their way to the boat with sensual walking and flirting. Javier hopped onto the boat and was turned off by John trying to push the boat into the water. 

       "John."   

       "I don't need your help, gigolo."  

       "¡Oye-!." Javier lowered his voice as soon as he raised it. In a harsh whisper, he insulted John. "Te voy a freír la verga." He looked above the rocks to see any awoken camp members. His head came down into another whisper. "No duermas esta noche." 

       "Like I speak Mexican." John rolled his eyes. Javier's Spanish was more amusing to people who didn't know him. His Spanish was sometimes rusty so he always tried to keep his mouth in check. To forget his native language was a great fear. 

       "Necesitas aprender español. Si sabes lo que digo, ¡entonces puedes saber que el barco está embistiendo el puerto!" 

       "I don't speak fast Spanish!" 

       "Pull the ship AWAY FROM PORT!" John looked over. 

       "So you can speak English." John shifted the boat now finally able to push it into the water. He jumped in, rocking the boat, Javier's body rocked with it, back and forth. John sat back and smirked. He pulled his Mauser pistol back out. 

       "Take off those clothes pretty boy." 

       "Put the gun down before you actually shoot" 

       "Saftey's on." 

       "Saftey?" 

       "Just relax and strip." Javier snaked-eyed the gun, he began with his vest. John watched with a goofy smile. His eyes followed Javier's classy charm. Javier stood up, balancing on the boat making sure removing his pants would strike arousal in John. He stripped entirely and then waited for John to do the same. 

       "Hey, you owe me, thief. But I will help you." John unzipped his pants his erection rising. 

       "I thought you liked being dominant." Javier got to his knees and then licked up from the base. He swerved his head ending at the tip. His eyes met John's. John's hand twitched anticipating something fast, something exhilarating. He pushed Javier down and licked his neck. He grinded down on him the boat shaking. Javier's erection rubbed against John's clothed stomach. John bit down on the muscle stretching from Javier's neck to shoulder. He moved his mouth to Javier's Adam's apple and sucked. 

       "Sing for me," John growled, muffled by his neck. Javier didn't want to detest, he wanted to be dominated, to be obedient. He softly groaned his larynx vibrating against John's teeth. John stuck his hand out of the boat but was stopped by Javier grabbing his wrist. 

       "You touch me with that dirty lake water." Javier threatened. 

       "Don't you like me dirty~?" John licked up the side of Javier's face then rested his body on top of him. His hand reached down and massaged Javier's taint moving down to press on his entrance. The weight of John pressed down on Javier. He looked up at the stars. John's fingers intruded into his mouth. John stuck those fingers into Javier's hole but the saliva wouldn't lubricate. John pushed Javier to sit up. Javier's back slid against the splinted wood. He cried and then cried louder in reaction to being penetrated by John's tongue. John used a mix of his tongue and fingers to lubricate and stretch him. Javier panted, his breaths infused with moans. John gave up and rose. Javier looked up at John his bulging erecting just at eye level. John's grabbed a chunk of Javier's hair and then penetrated his mouth. Javier's body weakened as he gagged and moaned. Tears welled and he began to suck hard. He worked fast hoping for John's release. Hot slippery fluids mixed with his saliva before he knew it. Javier fell back waiting for John to penetrate a different hole. The wood softly creaked. 

       "You do the rest of the work, Javier. I'm getting tired." John slumped back onto the bench. 

       "What? You-! You-!" Javier started an insult but only pulled blanks, "Damn!" Javier mounted John stroking his erection. 

       "I don't think I can take this without preparation." 

       "Turn around, I want to see your ass." Javier cringed but still shifted positions. He tried to force the hard-on into his ass. He pushed and pushed fitting only a small portion. His hands dropped to the floor as he panted. He could feel John's hands move their way to his hips. Javier gyrated his ass by moving his hips in a circle. John rubbed his fingers against Javier's hips in the form of a gentle caress. Unforseen by Javier he then harshly pushed down. Javier groaned and then started to arch his back while whirling up and down the shaft. John's dick lubricated him more and more. John stood up and then fell on top of Javier pinning him. His hand pressed down on Javier's back as he rammed in and out. Javier couldn't keep silent. John kept ramming into his prostate causing almost a scream to arise down from Javier's throat. They were breathy groans mixed in his cries. John was strong. His hands felt like steel chaining down Javier. His body was so sensitive and now stimulated. His body twitched and shook under John's firm hold. He couldn't last feeling his prostate pound in a repeated motion. Javier's groin convulsed as he squirted first. His body fainted as fell. John continued Javier's muscles tensing each thrust. Javier kept splashing in his lewd fluids, waiting in overstimulation as John was finding his finish. John's semen touched every wall of Javier's rectum, Javier feeling its steaminess inside of him. John fell second, his body aimed next to Javier. His shoulder hit the ground and BANG! John wrapped around Javier the boat becoming wet. John turned around to see his Mauser pistol that had gone off. 

       "Who's there!" It was Lenny. 

       "Nothing! Stupid pistol went off!" 

       "That you John?" 

       "Yeah!" 

       "What are you fishing in the middle of the night for?" 

       "Fish. Now go before our base is raided by O'driscolls." 

       "Alright." John listened in on Lenny's steps. Lenny was now gone and when John looked down he found Javier trying to put his pants back on covered in water. John was already knee-deep in water. The water was cold and murky. The two of them swam back to shore cold and wet. 

       "I lost my ascoat." 

       "You mean ascot?"

       "Yes." Javier had an angry countenance but John laughed.

       "You think we woke anyone up." Javier smiled and just at a glance at each other they both began to laugh hysterically. They walked back to camp and sat by the fire until dry. They hoped for a tent, together, after tomorrow.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

[newtsnaturethings]

Your opinion on newts?

Ooooh buddy you have opened the floodgates.

Newts are great. 12/10 animal.

They are shaped. Like. They are long. They can wiggle. A newt is basically a lizard shape but squishy (and no lizards didn’t evolve from salamanders or newts; convergent evolution happened and that shape just happened to be successful. Wiggly noodle with legs. Here for it).

Their tails are long and good for paddling in moving water.

They have semi-permeable skin. Yes this means they need to stay close to water, but seriously. Creeks and rivers are some of the most pleasant places to just hang around and listen to the sounds of nature…mosquitos notwithstanding.

And speaking of water - newts spend some time in the water and some time out it. They can breath in both. That’s cool as hell.

They have three distinct live stages, the final form being the adult newt we know and love. Their juveniles are called efts which is just objectively adorable and cool.

Their skin releases a neurotoxin so that bigger stuff doesn’t eat them (garter snakes being the exception…evolutionary arms race babyyyyy). Literal touch of death. They also will do a display if you tick them off to show like “hey bitch just TRY to eat me you’ll regret it”. Newts know what they’re about.

Some of them have a yearly migration. Migrations are cool. I spent a good amount of my undergrad studying animal migrations. Literally the coolest shit ever.

Also newts are just. Objectively so pretty. My personal favorite are the newts in genus Taricha, which have deep brown skin and bright orange bellies. And of the four newts in genus Taricha my absolute favorite are the Sierra newts, cause they hang around in my favorite mountain range of all time. Their just little guys. Hanging in streams. Wiggling through the undergrowth. Doing their thing. Love those funky little dudes.

So yeah. Newts

Thanks for the ask