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grownups-are-the-real-monsters · 5 years ago

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C'est La Vie

Summary: “Riding around with the car top down and the radio on. Nobody looked any finer or was more of a hit at the Parkway Diner. We never knew we could want more than that out of life. Surely Richie and Eddie would always know how to survive…” Glimpses into Richie & Eddie’s lives.

Summary is lyrics adapted from: ‘Scenes from an Italian Restaurant’ ~ Billy Joel. Title from ‘C’est La Vie’ by Bob Seger…

Words: 18,691

Ship: Reddie

{October, Senior Year}

School was in session. Leaves were falling from the trees, Freshman were trying to get high under the bleachers and the air was beginning to crisp like maple fucking bacon…Richie was having the time of his life. He sniffled because of course, he was already getting his yearly cold…at the start of October.

“The bleachers are freezing my ass, Eds.” He whined loudly but his little partner only chuckled, still scribbling his pen across the notebooks in his lap.

A breeze passed over them and carried a few pages of Skippy Larson’s chemistry homework across the field just in front of them. The kid darted after them with impressive speed but-‘oh, too much confidence on the catching skills. He misses by a long-shot and falls face first onto the grass!’

Richie chuckled and habitually scooped Eddie’s free-hand up to cradle it into his lap. “In a few short months…we won’t even have to worry about…-” He paused to wave his hands around and audibly scoff “-AP Lit homework and shit.” He flicked Eddie’s pen. “Can you believe that, man?”

Eddie laid his pen down and decided to give his partner the full attention Richie so obviously wanted and in Eddie’s opinion…deserved. “No. I really don’t wanna think about it either, Rich.”

His sniffles were much cuter than any human beings should be. His nose scrunched up and his eyes got all squinty. Eddie didn’t care much for cold season but it drove Richie crazy.

“Why not? I’m so fucking excited!”

“Rich, I’m way too fucking nervous to talk about it. Probably way more nervous than you are excited.” He scoffed, already beginning to shove his books into his backpack.

“Really? Cause I’m so excited that I can hardly breathe!” He smacked Eddie’s hand gently.

With humor suddenly just as dry as Richie’s toast had been that morning, Eddie slowly and obnoxiously reached into his bag for the inhaler and shot himself up to space. His lips were still recovering from the lovely ‘O’ shape he’d had to make but he managed a wide smirk when his chin tilted back down.

“Funny, babe.” Richie rolled his eyes but couldn’t help but giggle a bit. His eyes drifted to the homework tornado again as a sigh built up in his throat. It wasn’t as if he wasn’t going to miss high school. Because in some ways, he would. Lots of great things happened either in that building or because of it.

Richie got to film the best student movie in the history of TV Pro which turned out to be collected found footage of the Losers in their natural habitat. Bill managed to write one killer story after another and really started pursuing his passion. Ben and Bev had their first kiss in Mr. Walker’s Algebra class and made history. The day Stan made the fucking baseball team had been one of Richie’s favorite freakin’ days of all time. And Mike organizing a completely made-up 'cinema’ club just to get the library all to themselves with the coolest teacher ever was a close second.

But the best thing that ever happened within those school walls was during the start of Freshman Year when Richie finally got the guts to ask Eddie out properly.

They’d basically been dating since they were kids. Hell, their first kiss was in a blanket fort in Bill’s basement when they were like nine. Eddie didn’t like to count that but Richie held it close to his heart because it was funny as shit.

Sixth grade had been a big year. Richie would carry Eddie’s books home for him and would stick by him even when the path became out of his way. They took the path that would lead them past the Neibolt Street Church so Eddie could hear a bit of that music he liked so much.

But it wasn’t until Freshman year when the true magic happened. The fact that Eddie agreed to the proposed date nearly killed Richie on the spot that day.

Richie smiled to himself before glancing at his partner who was now following the wind of paper from Skippy Larson too. His eyes were speeding fast to follow every moment of the twirling disaster.

They’d gone to that drive-in root-beer place that Richie had always been dying to try. It was across the street from the now abandoned 7/11 that used to be a CVS where no one had ever shopped. He’d ordered a hot-dog and Root-beer Float that became hard to keep down when all his nerves started shaking him. He remembered being scared that he was going to waste the date just worrying he might blow chunks onto the bright orange vinyl chair. “Honestly Eddie, why did you give me a second date? I mean that first one was so…I mean, you watched me dip my hot-dog into my Root-beer Float.” Richie chuckled, legs jittering up and down.

Eddie quirked his brow and paused. “Yeah and you watched me nearly fight that worker for dropping that order of fries and trying to shove them back on the tray before anyone noticed.”

“Yeah but that was hot.” Richie smirked

“Well, maybe I thought the hot-dog thing was hot…” Eddie shoved some of his papers away and finally gave his boyfriend full attention.

“I’m sure the puke was hot when you slipped on my chunks in the parking lot, ‘member?” Richie smirked and Eddie gagged at the memory.

“Never bring that up again, asshole.”

The two of them playfully smacked each-other around for a couple minutes before a peaceful silence fell over again. From his place above, Richie saw Skippy pick up his remaining papers and high-tail it outta the football field before any players decided practice started early. The question from before still bounced in Richie’s mind like those boxes never quite hitting the corner in those DVD wait screens. ‘Honestly Eddie, why did you give me a second date?’

“What’s your mom making for dinner?” Eddie laid his chin on his palm and smiled in that soft, genuine way that poked at Richie’s heart. In some ways, he felt they were like an old married couple. And he wasn’t using that term to excuse any nasty bickering like some other high-school phase couples. No.

It was just…-He and Eddie knew each other. They were so familiar and extremely comfortable with everything they did. “Mmmmm, Chicken Parmesan.”

They smiled at each other, just thinking about the calm rest of the day ahead of them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie followed Richie inside the Tozier household, taking his shoes off at the door and setting them next to the others as Richie breezed past it, forgetting like usual. Eddie grinned to himself, shaking his head. The home was nothing special, sort of small but fleshed out. Photos on the wall in frames that were carefully thought out as they were purchased at some home goods store. It still put a smile on Eddie’s face to see that he was featured in some of those pictures.

He briefly passed by his favorite that was in the blue frame, the one that was chipped in the corner from when Richie dropped it. It was taken sometime during last Christmas, Richie and himself were having some sort of conversation that must’ve been highly amusing, what is was about Eddie doesn’t remember, but they’re laughing hard enough that Richie is falling forward onto his shoulder, The Tozier parents were actually looking at the camera with grins. Eddie smiled to himself as he glanced at it.

Mrs. Tozier was pouring a few drinks as they entered the kitchen, a warm grin on her face.

“Hello boys.” She smiled sweetly and handed them each a glass of water as she slid a cup of coffee to Mr. Tozier as he came in the room with a smile.

“How’s my favorite son?” He asked in that dad tone of voice that Eddie had only come accustomed to through him.

Richie swallowed a large slurp of the water and set it back on the table, the sweat dripping onto his hand. “I’m your only son…” He tilted his head with a confused but amused expression.

Wentworth blew down into the mug, the steam rising and spreading. “I was talking to Eddie.” He looked up just in time to catch Richie’s gasp of offense. He chuckled, picking up his mug and patting Eddie on the back as he passed him. “Which reminds me Eddie, I’m working on the garage again, can I count on your help-?”

“While I am flattered that you complimented me to butter me up before you asked but-” Eddie smiled, hand over his chest. “I can’t.”

“Ed’s and I are have a special date night tonight, pops.” Richie slapped Eddie’s back gently and stirred his water glass like it was a proper drink.

“Oooh, yeah.” Wentworth shared a small grin with his son and took down some more of his steaming hot drink. “You two kids have a great time. I’ll be all by my lonesome down there and I’ll probably break that damn car…” He pointed towards the garage door with exaggerated glum. “Unless one, Mrs. Tozier would come visit me, later?” He bumped Maggie’s elbow and she chuckled.

“I’ll bring you some dinner later. Make sure you take the laundry basket up to my room before you go off.” Maggie gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before he left that Richie mimicked on Eddie for chucks. It always made his mother giggle, anyway.

“Ok, so Chicken Parmesan for dinner….” Maggie gestured to the oven and smiled. “I’ll let you know when it’s done but for now…” She paused and picked up a dirty old box from the floor behind the counter. “I have some Halloween Decorations, would you boys help an ol’ mother out?”

“Sure thing, Mrs. Tozier!” Eddie stood on the tips of his toes to peek inside while Richie took the ghost string lights out and threw them around his neck like a scarf. With a salute, Richie took off with the box and Eddie darted after him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mrs. Tozier, Maggie, rooted her hands through the sock draw and occasionally pulled out a few pairs and folded them together. Her nails caught on the thread every few minutes, she’d pull and pull until the thin string would just snap. But on the eighth time she grew a little bit restless and snapped the string but quickly shut the drawer afterwards. “Wentworth?”

She turned to her husband, who was still lazing around with his coffee and blowing on it as if it was still hot. She gave him a small smile and walked towards him, putting her hand on his back. He looked up at her, waiting for her to speak what was on her mind. “Do you think-” She paused for a second before shaking her head. “Never mind, it’s stupid.”

Wentworth smiled up at his wife and chuckled, swallowing his first tedious sip of coffee. “I say a lot of stupid things, I won’t mind.”

Maggie gave him a look a lot of wives give their husbands. One of amusement and familiarity. “Well, I was just wondering…” She began again, going back over to the drawers to root around for something to wear to work the next day. “Do you think the boys are starting to get serious?” She asked, a little unsure of herself.

Wentworth cocked his head to the side and looked lost. “Like how?” He asked, swirling his coffee in his hand. Maggie sighed and leaned back on the drawers behind her. Clasping her hands together, she spoke again.

“I don’t know really.” She frowned and folded an old t-shirt from Richie’s younger days…her eyes got a sad little glaze. “They seem….-they remind me of us in our good ol’ days, huh? When we were about to leave home, so in love…” There was a small hole in the shoulder of the yellow dinosaur shirt.

Her husband turned the soap opera off the box TV and crawled closer to where she stood at the edge of the bed, taking her hands. “Richie’s getting older, honey-”

Maggie surprised the both of them by bursting out with a small sob. In embarrassment, she stole a hand back to cover her mouth. “I feel like every-time I-” She broke again and Wentworth rubbed her skin softly.

She collected herself, tilting her chin to the ceiling fan and letting the loose tears fall. “I know that…when we planned this, I had the idea of a girl, you know?”

Wentworth nodded. That was a topic they never truly discussed but for a long while, they were both well aware of in those early days.

“But…He’s my boy. That kid…” She looked towards the door. “He’s what I had been waiting for and I didn’t even realize it. And now it feels like our time together is winding down with his high-school days close to over and Wentworth, I’m not ready to let him go.” Her lips trembled.

He gently shook her arms and rubbed up and down her skin until she grinned through the tears. “He’s still a teenager, sweet-heart. We got time left yet, huh?” He laughed which she returned. “Side-note, we are definitely still in our good ol’ days. As long as I’m with you.”

He stood up, putting his coffee on the old dried up water ring mark on the dresser. Maggie smiled at the back of his head, her hand on her heart as she sighed with pleasure before she stood to walk him to the garage.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Richie still had the ghosts tied around his neck except now they were plugged into the wall behind him and slightly burning his neck. Eddie was digging through the box and pulling out all kinds of Halloween decor that Richie admired as a personal collection of his childhood…their childhood even. Eddie had just as much a right to claim memories to this shit as Richie. The other losers as well with how much time they spent at his home.

“How come people don’t send out Halloween cards…Y’know like Christmas Cards?” Richie pursed his lips and flipped the switch on an old light up haunted house.

Eddie shrugged. “People don’t really do Christmas cards anymore either…” He drifted off in thought. “We should though. It’d be really fucking idiotic.” He giggled and Richie smiled.

The two of them openly discussed their future together many times. It was just always part of their relationship and had never phased them. Maybe some thought of that as childish considering they were still high-schoolers but…it never seemed that way to them.

“Yeah. We’ll send it to all five of our friends.” Richie chuckled.

Eddie handed over some stuffed pumpkins and let his hands rub down his jeans as he sighed. “I can’t wait to annoy you in our own house one day.” He pinched Richie’s arm and handed over the hand-made paper Bat.

His boyfriends heart melted at that, his eyes absolutely worshiping the sight of Eddie. “Shit, Ed’s. Me too.”

Usually there’d be more said between them in moments like this. Maybe a discussion about what their house would end up looking like. But this time they just reached out for each others hands and gently swung them a little with soft smiles. “One of us has to learn to cook.”

“God, yes.” Richie nodded. “I love it but I can’t live off McDonald’s for long. Maybe my mom can teach me some shit. I can’t imagine it’s too hard.” He shrugged, letting their hands fall apart again to get rid of his ghost necklace. Their was a tiny burn mark on the side of his neck that made Eddie chuckle. Richie slapped the spot he was staring at with mock insecurity and a dazzling smirk.

The boy opened his mouth only to be interrupted his mother who came strolling in with a dish towel over her shoulder. Richie let his hand fall from his neck without thinking what that spot might suggest with Eddie sitting so close to him. Maggie raised a brow-

“It’s not what you think, Mrs. Tozier. Richie just burned his neck on the ghosts.” Eddie laughed and leaned over to hold the string-lights up again.

“Yeah, I can buy that.” Maggie rolled her eyes and laughed. “Can I borrow you for a minute, Rich?”

Richie nodded, hopping up and exaggerating a little spill from tripping on Eddie’s legs. He ruffled a hand through Eddie’s hair and followed after his mother.

Maggie messed with some dishes as she waited for her son to trail in and hoped her eyes weren’t still red. But as little Richie (called little Richard affectionately by his father for years) stopped in front of her, she found herself getting choked up again which was just silly. “You alright ma’? You seem like you might pass out or something.” He giggled and took a grape from the bowl on the counter to stuff into his mouth.

“Would you two be ok if your father and I went out tonight?-”

“Hot date?” He laughed and Maggie felt her heart tug.

“Yeah, sure.” She shook her head. “Hot date. Anyway, foods in the oven and should be done soon enough.” She rubbed the pad of her thumb against her nose. “You can make cookies for dessert, you know the number to call if you should accidentally start the house ablaze, do you love your father more than me? And we’ll be gone a few hours.” Maggie rushed her speaking and cringed. She was about to escape the room when Richie realized what she’d snuck in there.

“Wow, you pulled a real Richie Tozier with that ramble, ma. You know I’m the champion at those.” He started with an awkward laugh before raising his brows. “But um, you don’t really think that..do you?”

Maggie felt ashamed for bleeding this insecurity on her son but she sighed. “No. It’s just-…sometimes I worry that our relationship is a little rocky sometimes. I shouldn’t have…” She gestured to the garage door where her husband was and then to the living room where Eddie sat. “Bad timing.” She laughed.

“Ma…..” Richie had never been known to handle serious things very well was panicking a little. “That’s not-…”

“I just let so much precious time go by…not really understanding you quite like your dad does. I’m sure you must have felt it and I hate to think about it.” Maggie frowned, running the towel through her fingers.

Richie looked to the floor and rolled his lips together which was confirmation enough.

“Never-mind this, Rich. Go on back, ok?” Maggie attempted to laugh the conversation off like any good ol’ Tozier knew how. “We should be back later tonight.” With that, she pressed a kiss to his temple and sent him back to the living room.

Richie walked off with a dazed expression and tried to shake his mothers words but found them to be burying deep into his mind anyway.

His eyes met Eddie’s. His boyfriend was just sitting on the old plaid couch, the one where tiny-tot Richie had once fallen from and knocked his front teeth out, and a rush of love went through his body at once. It didn’t cover up the memory of that conversation but it relieved Richie of the guilty feeling some.

So he did what any sane person in love would do, throw his entire body atop Eddie’s. One of them let out a shocked sigh and their voices were too molded together to pin it. “Get off me, asshole!”

Eddie folded his body in such a way that it knocked Richie off him and onto the carpet below the plush couch. He peeked at him from the edge and giggled.

Richie ended up laying there for quite some time after his parents left, playing with Eddie’s legs as they hung over him and occasionally rubbing the soft skin of his ankles. Though he’d realized almost as soon as he started that it was sort of a trap. Every-time he’d take his hand away, Eddie would wiggle his feet again just urging Richie to start on again. And if he refused, he’d make that soft little whine. How could he say no to that?

It lead him to memories of being that tiny-tot version of himself again. On movie nights when Richie would glance through the corner of his eye, away from the show of ‘Aladdin’ to his parents to make sure they were watching. Maggie Tozier’s feet would always be shoved into his old man’s lap and she’d be insisting that he rub them. Though he’d complain, Wentworth always did it.

Richie rubbed another circle against Eddie’s skin and leaned his head against his jean covered leg. When his partners hand came down to run his fingers through his hair, Richie was in such bliss that he missed the first ten beeps of the oven timer.

“Rich, one of us has to get the dinner.”

“Set up the dishes?” Richie tilted his chin up, getting a bit of a static shock from Eddie’s jeans. The boy nodded and they went off.

This was a familiar routine that they had come to know for some time now. Since the beginning of the romantic side of their relationship, Eddie came over for dinner often. The Tozier’s were happy to have the company.

Richie plated their feast once the table was set and they took their favorite chairs across from each other. It was during these little dinners that Richie finally understood the no TV at the dinner table rule. There was no need for a distraction.

“How did none of your mothers cooking talent bleed into you growing up?” Eddie hummed happily as he slid his fork out from his lips.

“You’ve basically known me my whole life, Eds. You know I don’t have the attention span to learn.”

Eddie rolled his eyes and Richie poked his hand with the back-side of his silverware. “How are things with my dads car?”

Eddie hummed again. He’d taken up fixing up the thing with Mr. Tozier some weeks ago as a little hobby. He’d always had a fondness for fixing shit up like that and Wentworth had been thrilled to have a good hand around to help him because after all, Richie was not the best at that. “Good. I mean, I’m not car-genius but…I think we’re getting somewhere. Your dad seems excited but then again…he’s a lot like you.” Eddie giggled.

“What does that mean, Kaspbrak?” Richie reached over to pinch at him.

“Just that he’s excitable-”

“It’s a cuter look for me, right?” Richie teased and Eddie smacked his hands away. They went at it for a solid five minutes before settling back into their dinners.

Silence fell over them, all except the sounds of their dishes. “Hey, Ed’s?”

The boy glanced up, some strands of hair falling over his eyes as he hovered his fork just under his chin. A stray scent of the purple glue they used in their shared second grade class flew past Richie’s nose as their eyes met. “What’s say you & me go on a little road-trip right after graduation? Like the minute it’s done?”

“Little early to plan that. Just you and me? What about-?”

“I’d love to go on a big Losers Club trip but I have this idea…for just the two of us, right? Could be cool.” He waved is fork around and it kept catching the orange light of the hanging lamp above them.

“What kind of idea?”

“Well…hold on to your seat, baby. This might be too big of a kicker.” Richie giggled but it was soaked with nerves. Eddie rolled his eyes and made an exaggerated play of holding onto the chair with a wide smirk. They giggled together. “I was thinking that you and I could drive up to Castle Rock-”

“Ahhh the spot of romance.” Eddie let go of his chair to take another bite of chicken.

“There’s some cute tourist-y trap shops…” Richie started and he’d kinda been hoping for another interruption but Eddie just kept on looking at him. “But there’s also a cute little Chapel…?”

There was a small clink as Eddie dropped his fork onto his plate.

“Ed’s, baby. You’re…” He paused when his stomach turned painfully with nerves. He glanced down at the food. “You’re the guy I gotta be spending the rest of my life with. I can’t imagine a future without you in it and I think that’s reason enough to cut to the chase and get hitched sooner rather than later.“

Richie was expecting one of his partners famous ‘fast talking rambles’ but Eddie stayed silent and instead picked at the chicken on his rose colored plate.

“I mean the backseat of my car is no honeymoon suite but I’m sure it’ll be nice to us, you know? After all, we’ll still be running on our Wedding High.” Richie laughed but it was oh so painful to get out when Eddie wasn’t even humoring him. “Sorry. Fuck. I don’t know what I was thinking. It was a stupid thing to pitch-”

“Let’s do it.”

Richie hiccuped and choked on the forkful of food he’d just shoved in his mouth to keep quite. “What-?”

“I said, let’s do it asshole. I wanna marry you.” Eddie smiled, wide and genuine. Richie would never openly pursue this dream if it were anything but. He knew all of Eddie’s smiles and this one…oh it was his favorite.

“Holy fuck.” Richie let out a long breath and giggled. “Shit, I-…Ed’s-” The boy couldn’t find the right words so he just shoved his way off his chair and rushed to his boy.

Before Eddie could fully process it, Richie lifted him into his arms and he had to wrap his legs around his waist to keep balanced. “Everyone’s gonna say we’re idiots, you know?” Richie mumbled into his neck.

“I don’t care.” Eddie decided. Because for once in his life, he was 100% sure that this was something he wanted. He’d fight for it with no problem if it meant keeping the Loser in his life forever. He’d fight for it just like he’d always fought for his friends. “We don’t have to tell anyone.”

Richie nodded. “Just between us. Our little secret.”

They agreed to that knowing it would truly be a hard task. They told their fellow Losers everything and how could they not share something like this? Something so amazing? But they knew it had to stay a secret until the actual day was done.

A laugh bubbled in his throat and a comment escaped his lips without flickering thought. “I’m so glad I met you, Richie.”

“Me too.” Richie’s voice was a little too soft to not be emotional so Eddie kissed his hair. “If I call you tomorrow and ask…are we still gonna be engaged?”

Eddie pulled his chin back and nuzzled his nose into Richie’s curls. “We’re still gonna be engaged, Rich. All up until Gradation, like ya said.” He could feel the blush dusting his cheeks and the sense of pure joy was just too intoxicating.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{December, Senior Year}

Richie and Eddie didn’t really bring up their engagement again until the fall leaves started turning to winter snow.

Richie shut his front door behind him as he stepped outside, glancing down at his shoes as they walked down his broken concrete steps. He hopped down the last stair, the one with the chip that was just waiting to become an avalanche of rock. He pulled aimlessly at his jacket when he felt the sudden jolt of the wind being knocked out of him and legs wrapping around his waist. He didn’t need to look to know who it was.

"Ed’s, you can’t just jump on a guys back without warning.” Richie tried to glance up, as best he could as Eddie shifted around and looped his arms around his neck.

“As the shorter friend, I reserve the right to get piggy back rides whenever I want.” He heard Eddie laugh against his ear, his feet wiggling.

“Eddie, You’re such an asshole.” He shook his head and tried to hike his boyfriend up so he wouldn’t slip off.

“Your point?” Eddie hummed. “So…you’re walking to my house, what for?” Eddie smiled and Richie rolled his eyes fondly.

“To bother you…which by the way, where were you coming from?” Richie glanced his eyes up. Usually whenever Eddie left his home, one of the Losers was with him so he was more than curious.

“I was beating up Bill in the park.” He felt the boy shrug. -”And before you ask, he deserved it and he’s fine.” Eddie laughed again and Richie could see the incident now. Bill loved to mess with Eddie like he wasn’t aware what the little asshole was capable of.

Bill would make his fun and let Eddie charge him for a round of play-fighting like a couple of brothers in the living room of their childhood home. Man, did it make Bill happy. He’d light up like a damn Christmas tree. They all knew why and they never mentioned it. Georgie had passed away some time ago, an out of the blue accident. Such a shitty world sometimes.

“I was going to visit your mom, anyway-OW!” Richie felt Eddie pinch his neck. He chuckled. “Jealousy is not a flattering color for you.”

Eddie hopped off his back and started to walk on Richie’s left side. It was a habit from their younger days that just never faded. Little Richie used to wander towards the street from the sidewalk because his strut was for some reason…a little tilted. Not so much anymore. But Eddie, Bill and Stan still planted themselves to his left like the memory was still taking place. Richie thank God that Ben, Mike and Bev didn’t have to remember how dumb he was back then…just how dumb he was now. He laughed to himself.

“I was walking over to pick you up. Us Losers are taking a holiday trip to Mike’s place. I wanted to give you your gift before we see our favorite people.” Richie tapped his pocket and Eddie nodded. “Hey, now that I’m looking at your face…” Richie made a show of tilting his head and waving a hand in front of Eddie’s crinkled nose. He got his hand slapped away.

“You look a little glum, baby.”

“That’s a stupid word-”

“Melancholy? Sulky? Morose! You look a little morose, baby.” Richie pulled at Eddie’s arm and wasn’t pushed away this time so he rubbed up and down the boys jacket sleeve.

“You look like a moron, baby.” Eddie mocked and Richie giggled. “Sorry, I’m pissy today.”

“I got that, Ed’s. But why?”

Richie got another light shove. “I couldn’t sleep last night. Felt like I couldn’t breath and…” Eddie tapped his own pocket where his inhaler was once again. “Shit, Rich. I know it’s all in my head but…that doesn’t stop me from re-creating that feeling whenever I get the slightest bit of anxiety about something.”

Eddie sighed, sounding like a tired man some years their elder. “It scares the shit outta me that I just subconsciously do this to myself. How do you stop a thing like that?”

“I don’t know.” Richie shrugged with an honest tone and wrapped an arm around his partner. “But, I know that you’ll get there. Maybe not today…maybe not tomorrow but soon, baby.”

Eddie nodded but didn’t seem to believe him. Man, Richie really hated Sonia Kaspbrak for the shit she had pulled all throughout this poor kids childhood. “I got your back through and through, Eddie my love.” He shook him playfully and pulled back to get the small gift-box from his jacket pocket.

Eddie stopped in front of him and sniffled cutely. “I feel bad. I should get your gift from my house before you-”

“Nah, Eddie. I really wanna do this now.” Richie smiled and handed over a small box. It was wrapped in brown paper covered in mini-vintage Santa faces. There was an obnoxiously large ribbon atop it that he knew Eddie would keep for some odd reason. It was just one of those things he did.

As he tore into the package, Richie nervously rolled his lips together.

Inside was a velvet box that when tilted open, allowed a small silvery band to come into view. It glittered in the winter air and Richie got down on his knobby knee like a true gentleman and smiled up at his man. “I thought I should get you a little ring for our engagement, you remember right?” He teased but surely meant the question at least a little bit.

“Rich-”

“My mom helped me. And don’t worry you’re pretty little head, I told her I was getting ya a promise ring.” He waved his hands a little. “So it’s not a true engagement ring, per se but-”

“I love it.” Eddie slipped it on and slowly kneeled down to help Richie off the icy ground. “Get up and hug me, asshole.”

Richie happily obliged.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{May, Senior Year}

From then on, Richie and Eddie kept on like normal but there was some kind of glowing secret between them. The Losers noticed something, as well they would because they knew their friends too well. But none of them could quite put a finger on what was so different between them.

Eddie was perched on Richie’s desk in Honors Lit. witch was about the only class that every Losers Club member had together. It was the last normal day of school before Graduation Day so the Senior class was basically free to do whatever.

Eddie was whispering things that Richie would seem to consider before writing down on his pad of paper in a list or something. Ben watched them with a curious smile but didn’t ask.

“I say we all drive to Graduation together so we can drive up to the Haunted K-Mart in the town over afterwards.” Bev smiled from her seat.

“Why t-t-there?” Bill asked.

“This might be our last chance to catch a spirit there!” She gestured her hands like that might impress them. “And there’s a Steak ‘N Shake right across the street.”

“Ahhh, the real reason she makes such requests.” Richie snapped his fingers and Bev shrugged.

“Any takers?”

Richie and Eddie shared a private worried glance. They both knew now that if the group agreed to go with this plan, they’d say yes too. They loved their friends too much to avoid plans with them for a big secret wedding they didn’t even know about. Especially considering Graduation night was sorta a big deal for them because soon enough, they’d separate.

It wasn’t so bad. Eddie, Richie and Bill were all headed to the University of Maine campus. Mike, Ben and Bev were all going to another 4-year just around twenty minutes away. But….Stan….he was shipping out to one in Vermont which was a cool, crisp…4 hour drive.

But they still had a whole summer to look forward too. At least that was something.

“Sorry, I can’t. My dad and Grandpa have been planning a dinner celebration at home.” Mike smiled sweetly as he thought about it and gave Bev a small shrug.

“Me t-t-too. My parents want me home.” Bill frowned and they weren’t too sure ol’ Bill was going to have such a great time.

Beverly sighed and turned to Stan who gave her a soft no for just about the same reasons.

“And count us out! Eddie and I will be feasting at the Tozier’s.” Richie slapped Eddie’s nervous hand and they both felt swept under the instant relief.

“My mom would love to have you over for dinner, Bev. She’s been keen on it for sometime.” Ben smiled again and a soft blush took over his cheeks just the same as it did on Beverly’s when she accepted this offer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{May, Graduation Day}

“Eddie, don’t be alarmed but…there’s an old man sitting in the passenger seat of my car.”

Richie narrowed his eyes and shook his head so the tassel on his cap would get out of his eyes. The sun was shining down onto the crisp green summer grass and had provided them comfortable Graduation weather all the day.

The ceremony had been a mess of Losers Club tears and a solid thirty minutes spent afterwards just hanging out in the field in front of the building. They talked to each others families, hung-out and maybe he and Bev smoked a little. There was also the moment where Richie hugged Stan and proceeded to refuse to let go when he had to go with his parents. It took the Losers a good five minutes to get Richie off. Stan pretended he wasn’t having fun and saluted Richie with a middle finger and spun off to his parents car. And soon after, all their best friends had gone off with their families.

The Toziers came for the ceremony but allowed Richie and Eddie some extended time for a ‘date’.

Eddie quirked his brow and crossed his arms. “No…are we sure that’s your car?” He saw the old man but it was still quite far from where they stood. Maybe it was just a similar-

“No, there’s the ‘Honk if you love Bruce Springsteen’ bumper sticker.” He pointed with his spindly finger and Eddie stepped back with confusion.

There was in fact, an old man chilling in the passengers seat of their ‘Honeymoon Chariot’ as Richie had been calling it the past few hours. “Oh, Richie…maybe he’s just confused?” Eddie frowned, eyebrows knitting together in concern. With that, he started walking over to the vehicle. Richie hung back because he wasn’t very good at confrontation or conversation with older people.

Eddie paused a bit in front of the passenger door and smiled. “Excuse me, sir?”

The man was small, wrinkly and kind-looking. He had a baseball cap atop his surprisingly thick curly gray. “Oh…is there a problem? Should we not be parked here?”

Richie stepped a little closer while Eddie dealt with the situation like a pro.

“Oh no, nothing like that.” Eddie inched closer and gave the man his warmest smile as the sunshine cupped his face. “I think maybe you’ve confused this car with your own…?” He made a salute motion to block the harsh sunlight and to maybe to offer a warm look in his eyes that the old man could relate to. Eddie had this kind, sweet nature to him when he wasn’t truly thinking about it. It was a gift blessed onto Mike and Ben too, though Eddie’s wasn’t anywhere near the level of those two.

“Oh…is this your-? I’m so sorry, my…I’m getting pretty forgetful, aren’t I?” The man made for the door and Eddie backed up and grabbed onto it when it opened to make sure there was no swing back. “It looks so much like my wife’s car.” He laughed, an old worn kind that Richie loved.

“Understandable. Once, I was visiting my aunts place right? And I went out for a smoke. When I went back inside…” Richie chuckled, hand on his stomach “It was the wrong house. Boy, were those people freaked out to see this gangly teenager walk into their home flicking a lighter.”

Richie enjoyed the familiar way Eddie smiled at him under the sunshine, he’d heard that story a few times himself. The older gentleman also seemed rightly amused. He took off his baseball cap and waved it as he laughed.

“That sure kicks me out of lonesome town, huh?” He wiped under his eyes which Richie might’ve been ashamed to admit made him feel really good. Not many people laughed that hard at his shit. “Good to know I’m not the only guy making himself a fool, son.”

Eddie happily grinned towards the man as he reached out to shake Richie’s hand. “So where’s the lucky gal who loves you, ol’ buddy?”

The man lit up, smile widening. “Should be on her way to wherever the hell it was we parked. Had a few words left yet to say to our grand-boy.” He stood on his tip-toes to catch a peek of the crowd.

“What’s say we walk you over? A car that looks like mine…should be easy to find, huh?” Richie tipped his chin to Eddie who nodded. So Richie offered his arm.

“What’s your name, sir?” Eddie asked, strolling over to catch up.

“Oliver…” He grinned. “The wife, she’s called Michelle…like that Beatles tune, I always say.” He chuckled. Richie and Eddie leaned a little forward to steal grins from each other. “She’s a real funny gal that kid.”

“Gotta love the funny ones, huh?” Richie bumped him gently and Eddie shook his head, most likely pairing it with a roll of the ol’ eyes. “We sure can make it hard, sometimes.” He laughed again and Eddie carefully reached over to smack the back of his head.

Oliver must have thought that was hysterical because he started joyfully laughing again. It warmed the boys hearts. “Sure can. Michelle…she does this little bit where she takes the quarters outta my ear…magic and all that.” Oliver rolled his eyes but not with annoyance but fond and genuine love. It was a look that Eddie knew oh so well. “Then she turns a whole bouquet of flowers out from her sleeve….” He paused. “No one else for me in the world except Michelle.”

Richie felt himself blush at the mere thought of how he felt just the same about Eddie, who was walking peacefully in the grass with the tassel hanging over his eyes.

“Oh! There’s the ol’ girl now.” Oliver let go of Richie’s arm and started to happily stroll over to the car that did look pretty similar to Richie’s. “Thank you, boys! Been too kind!” He waved and looked like he was far too excited to get back to his lady to stay any longer.

The sky was gold and a breeze was passing through the remaining crowd of graduates. Red gowns blew in the wind and families huddled together for pictures.

Richie leaned closer to his boyfriend. “Remember that old videotape we found in your room? The one from our dumb classroom Thanksgiving play?”

Eddie blinked at the abrupt memory but nodded. That seemed like a million years ago yet didn’t feel very far from them at all. The years bled together these days but that had been the age where the town of Derry felt like the whole world (and what a shitty world). Eddie could still hear the sound of Bill’s father coming home at 6:00 in his head, plastered there from all their sleepovers. Richie turned to fully face Eddie and kicked his leg gently so he’d turn too.

“I’ve been feeling for you, what he described with his wife since about then.”

Eddie felt his heart melt. “Rich, we were like six or seven. There’s no way-”

The man’s eyes were swelled with tears like a gutter full of rain which made Eddie stop in his tracks. Of course, Richie meant that sentiment. He was always so painfully genuine. “Please, kiss me and then drive me to our damn wedding. I’m so ready to be your husband.”

Richie didn’t need to be told twice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{May, Castle Rock’s finest Chapel}

“At least if your face turns blue, we can check ‘something blue’ off the wedding list-”

Eddie lowered his inhaler and smacked Richie playfully on the arm but soon pulled it back to wrap around his body. The summer breeze seemed somehow colder in Castle Rock. They had both paused on the steps of the Chapel, knowing they were feeling the empty spaces of their friends. They should be here but…they weren’t. Because at the time of planning, it seemed to be for the best. But they missed them.

Richie glanced down at his boy. “You ok?”

Eddie clutched his inhaler once more for something like comfort and shoved it back into his pocket. “I’m peachy.” He smiled.

The sun was near setting behind their heads and draped a rose colored light over their bodies. “We can back-out, you know? Just because we said we would, doesn’t mean we have to follow through on anything, Eds. If you want to go home just tell me.” He pulled him closer and laid his chin atop Eddie’s hair.

Eddie pulled off of him, kissed his cheek and took his hand.

They ran into the Chapel and lived a moment they’d hold close to their hearts forever. A private kind of memory. Just for the two of them to share.

Some ways away in Derry, in a car that looked an awful lot like Richie’s, a radio played ‘Michelle’…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{June, Derry. A week later}

The young lovers had been planning to share their news since the big day last week but each time a chance was gifted to them…they both backed out. They were classic chickens.

This night brought all the Losers together and stuffed them into Bill’s car, fresh from a fun little time drinking in his basement. They were all a little buzzed apart from Stan and Richie, who didn’t drink a sip.

Eddie was practically vibrating in his seat yet his eyes kept drifting shut. He usually got sleepy in cars, Richie pulled him closer and asked for the radio to be turned up.

It was getting late and they all seemed a bit restless. Beverly and Mike were having a hushed conversation about a deer they’d just seen on the side of the road and Ben mindlessly caressed Beverly’s hand. “Shit, I’ve been meaning to ask-” Bill started.

“I went over to your house after my dinner on Graduation, Rich. Your parents said you and Eddie weren’t around-?”

Richie glanced up at Bill’s eyes in the mirror and rolled his lips together. It wasn’t hard to just make shit up but he did not want to lie-

“Richie and I drove up to Castle Rock and got married.” Eddie mumbled, his voice in sing-song and his forehead pressed against the window.

“WHAT!?”

The whole car screamed and Bill accidentally hit the brake much harder than he intended to at the stop sign. The group all flew a bit forward from their seats and caused a chorus of restrained choking coughs when the seat-belts pulled. Richie tried to collect himself before Eddie but failed.

“We’ve been engaged-” He hiccuped and pulled out the ring he’d been hiding in his pocket. “Since October.”

Bill drove on, foot hitting the gas pedal with much more grace than before. The car fell silent until Beverly turned from the front seat…a most awful look of confusion on her face. “Eddie, tell me that Richie has just rubbed off on you and that’s a very weird joke.”

Richie scowled. “It’s not a joke. We got married at the Chapel in Castle Rock just like he said.”

Again, the car was full of tense silence apart from the sound of the wheels on the street. “Engaged….since October and you didn’t tell us?” Bill asked from the drivers seat, glancing at them in the mirror every once in a while.

Eddie fell against Richie’s shoulder like he was about to drift off into sleep again so Richie slowly wrapped his arm around him and ran his hands through his hair when he began to speak. “We thought you guys would talk us out of it-”

“Rightly so.” Stan spoke up and Richie snapped his head over to look at him. “Engaged? Married? You guys are eighteen years old.” He shook his head. “And before you go for a low blow, you know everyone in this car agrees that you two are meant to be together but…” Stan paused to find his wording but Richie wanted to jump down his throat.

“But what exactly?” He covered Eddie’s ears accidentally on purpose when he shifted but he figured the boy needed some sleep.

“Jumping into marriage that young is not going to work out. It could very well hurt you two.” Stan’s voice lowered into soft concern but Richie was heated up.

“And you got married.” Beverly turned in her seat again, this time with a nervous cigarette in her hand. “Without us.”

Richie’s stomach turned as a fresh wave of horrible guilt hit him. He really had nothing to respond to that with so he shrank back into his seat. The radio blanketed the riders with a loud distraction.

‘Heard it from a friend who Heard it from a friend who Heard it from another you been messin’ around…’

“All I’m trying to say here, Rich, is that getting married that early on can cause strain on a relationship.” Stan looked down at his hands but it only steamed Richie back up once again.

“You don’t know that, Stanley. You said it yourself, Eddie and I are supposed to be together-”

“Fate doesn’t matter if you make a bad decision, Richie. It’s only plain logic. You two barely know what you’re going to be doing in the very near future! Eddie, you told me back in September that you weren’t even sure you wanted to go to the University of Maine. What happened there? Any of that get resolved before this wedding?” Stan reached out his hand to gesture to Eddie but the boy was looking much paler and more and more like he might break into a sweat. Mike kept a close eye on the kid while the others kept with their noise and the radio grew more intense.

Richie glanced at Eddie and frowned. “You don’t know shit about our relationship-”

Stan looked offended. “Shit, Richie, everyone in this car knows your relationship almost as well as the parties involved.” He flicked his fingers at the happy couple. “You know that. The Losers, man. We’re in this life together, asshole.” He narrowed his eyes. “I’m trying to help you. I don’t wanna see you-”

“Too late, Stan! We’re already married.” Richie laughed, full of pain.

“And happily too, it sounds.” Stan rolled his eyes.

“Hey Fuckhead! We were happy before we told you-!”

“You didn’t even tell us, your best friends, until after the fact. PLUS, Eddie only broke it out cause he’s drunk!” Bill suddenly piped up from the front seat. The screaming match suddenly involved everyone in the car. Though Mike and Ben were trying more so to calm everyone than yelling.

Eddie felt his chest pounding with anxiety, the familiar sensation of a lack of air built up. “Stop the car.” He mumbled, covering his mouth. No one seemed to hear. “Stop the car!” He tried once more with a hiccup of leftover alcohol bubbling from his throat.

Mike glanced over and finally, someone noticed.

“Stop the car! I’m going to throw the fuck up!” Eddie screamed at the same time that Mike shouted a strong ‘STOP THE CAR!’

Bill hit the brakes extremely hard again though the yelling continued even as Eddie opened the car door and hopped onto the curb. He kneeled over himself, palms pressed onto his knees as he dry-heaved. He glanced back into the car at all his friends screaming and bit into his lip…

The sound of loud feet hitting the pavement broke the screaming. The Losers all looked up just in time to see Eddie quite literally take off like a rocket. Richie could almost hear the gun blast signaling a race because the kid was sprinting faster than a speeding bullet. “Holy shit.” Beverly tried to open her car door.

The six of them all hopped out once Bill actually parked on the curb and started off after him. But the thing about Eddie was…he was fucking fast. Richie had a lot of energy but was no sport champion. He so desperately tried to push himself that he almost felt fire coming off his feet.

Mike seemed to be the one outta the group to get the closest but he turned the corner and skidded to a stop. It was so sudden that they almost all crashed together. “He’s gone.” Mike sighed, hand to his forehead.

They all started attempting to catch their breath, hands either over their chests or pressed to their knees like Eddie’s had been.

Richie stumbled and landed his ass on the middle of the street. “Fuck.” he spoke to the sky in his horrible exhaust. A hand hovered above him which turned out to be Stan’s. There was a bit of hesitance but Richie accepted the help up. “Let’s split up. Cover more ground. Our Ed’s is a speedy Bastard.”

Beverly played with her hands which meant she was either nervous or scared. Maybe both. But she nodded like this was the most import mission in her life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ben happened across Eddie first. His friend was sitting on a bench in front of the Gazebo in the park. Ben’s heart melted at the sight of the poor, tired and drunk kid.

“Hey, Eddie.” Ben gently approached like he was a skittish dog or something but Eddie didn’t seem to mind. He just scooted over to make some room on the tiny bench. “I know things got…pretty intense in the car-”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Yeah. I shouldn’t have opened my mouth. I just…-yeah, I’m buzzed but I’m excited, Ben. So fucking excited about this and I just wanted to tell you guys.” He sniffled and Ben scooted closer. “We really didn’t mean to be such shitty friends. You guys always want whats best for us…so we knew you’d try to talk us out of it.” Eddie glanced up with wide, innocent eyes. Ben opened his mouth.

“So yeah, I admit that we knew it was kind of a dumb enough idea because we made that decision to keep it from you. We had to be aware enough to do that.” Eddie shrugged, his jacket now pooling at his elbows. He wasn’t completely sure that he was making any sense. “But it made us really happy, Ben. I love him…so much.”

Ben threw his arm around Eddie and sighed. “I know, Eddie. Trust me on that word. I do.” He rubbed his arm slowly and felt Eddie nod.

“And I feel his love for me every fucking day. Richie loves with his whole being, Ben.” Eddie giggled like the thought of it was enough to send him into a blush. “No one is gonna be in love with me the way that he is. So what’s the point in waiting?”

Ben went quiet because the sentiment was so genuinely lovely that it became hard for him to argue…

The two of them sat on the park bench, not knowing how to move on from the moment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{October, Freshman Year of College}

There was nothing even close to a falling out between the Losers Club after that horrible night. That was just the kind of magic that came with their relationship. Far too much love to ever let them drift away. Though besides the screaming, the other thing to be forgotten after that night was Stan’s statement about Eddie confessing he might’ve been unsure about the University of Maine…

Tension rose on occasion but the happy couple seemed satisfied enough. The Losers were happy, as long as they were.

The Toziers were still not aware that their son had gotten hitched but Richie intended to tell them after completing at least one year of school. Sonia Kaspbrak….well she tried so desperately to keep Eddie right at home and to dig into his personal life. Eddie wanted nothing to do with that. So she also had no clue, Eddie would be lying if he didn’t say it was empowering.

The beginning of the school year had been extremely hard because Stan was ‘leaving’ them but 4-hours felt like forever. There’d been a lot of crying and hugs to go around when it came time for him to leave and boy did he wait until the last possible minute to go.

Richie basically cried his eyes out. Stan took him aside for a few minutes just to reassure him that this made no difference. The seven of them were forever tied together. He even gave him a nice framed photo of the whole group for the dorm Richie and Eddie had applied for together. “Call it a late engagement gift.” He added with a crinkle of his eyes, reminding Richie of an old man. Though there was a still a bit of tension on that subject, he knew Stan might still believe the marriage to have been a bad idea. Richie gladly accepted it anyway because it was a gift filled with genuine love.

They were all a good month or so into their Freshman years and already developed their routines.

And at the University of Maine, Richie and Eddie had already become something of a cool topic. Mr. and Mr. Tozier. The married couple in dorm 24. They would be lying if they didn’t say they enjoyed the attention. They were a couple of losers after all.

“What does he have that I don’t?” Eddie frowned and pushed at Richie’s shoulders.

“Don’t be jealous, baby.” Richie turned back and smirked. “It’s not a flattering color.” He giggled when Eddie tackled him on the bed, the one to the left of them was almost never used. The Bruce Springsteen poster Richie had been admiring watched over them as they fell into a make-out session.

The sloppier kisser between them pulled back and licked grotesquely up from the base of Eddie’s neck to his ear. From the new spot, Richie began whispering which he knew drove Eddie mad because it was a ticklish feeling.

“I got a bad desire. Oh-oh-oh, I’m on fire…” Richie mumbled and Eddie tried to kick him off the bed.

“Don’t sing me the lyrics of the man you’re cheating on me with! You cruel, cruel idiot!” Eddie giggled with insane love and new switched to trying to knee him in the stomach. Finally, Richie rolled off the bed and onto the floor with a loud thud.

“Oh, you are so juvenile, Eddie my dear.” Richie stayed there on the floor with a smirk.

“Me? You licked my ear, which is disgusting, and tried to serenade me with Springsteen.” Eddie fell comfortably on the bed, chin just on the edge so that he could look down at his…husband. Which was still odd to hear when it came rolling off their tongues.

They shared fond looks and Eddie turned to lay back on the bed but let his arm hang over the side so Richie could play with his fingers. “By the way-” Eddie turned his head though he was way above his partner. “Did you fill the gas tank in our car after class last night?”

Richie sighed. “Our car? I’ll have you know that ‘James Taylor’ has been mine since I was sixteen, Eds.” The smirk was present in his tone and Eddie rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, did you fill it or what? It was really low and I need it for my Physics class this afternoon.” Eddie felt Richie pause from petting his palm.

“No, I forgot. Can’t you fill it before class?” Richie pleaded and Eddie ripped his hand away in annoyance.

“Oh so I can’t call it ‘our’ car but I get to pay for the gas almost every time it needs to be filled. Just cause you don’t like getting out of the damn car because ‘it ruins the mood of your drives.’” Eddie scowled.

Richie sat up and scooted so that his back would lean against the bedside drawer. “You’re borrowing my car, Eds. It’s only fair for you to fill it when you run the gas.” He shrugged and watched as Eddie hopped off the bed and started getting his things together for his class even though he had plenty of time.

“You’re parents are the ones who bought it for you. And now I’m paying for gas nearly every-time…so what, pray tell, makes it so wrong for me to refer to ‘James Taylor’-” He paused to roll his eyes “As ours?”

Richie looked up with a bit of a heated expression and sighed with frustration.

“Look Rich, if it bothers you so much, I can try and save up for my own car. I wasn’t lucky enough to get one when we were younger cause…well, you know my mother.” Eddie shuddered and threw his bag aside. “She’d never give me a gift that would only be a gateway for my moving on.” He scowled, completely irritated at her yet feeling guilty as she was not there to defend herself. Richie knew that look all too well and tried to convince his husband that it was ok for it to blossom. It was more than ok to be mad at Sonia. But…how do you make someone understand that their mother deserves hatred? Because no matter what, a mother is a mother in the mind of young Eddie. There would always be a shred of Eddie that would try to defend her because of that ‘A mother & her boy’ complex she had pounded in him.

The air in the room seemed to lose some of the tension and Richie took that as a good sign as he heaved his body off the floor. “No, I’m sorry. You’re right. ‘James Taylor’ is ours.” Richie sat on the other bed and took Eddie’s smaller hand in his own, pulled it with soft shyness and his husband leaned down so he could press a kiss to his temple. “We’re on for dinner right?”

Eddie nodded and rubbed the pad of his finger into the corner of his eye. “Yeah. We can probably splurge on that cool Shawarma place you like so much tonight, if you’d like?”

Richie lit up at that possibility and smiled. “Sounds peachy, Eddie my love.” He reached up to steal a quick kiss and twirled off the bed to see his love out the door if he was going to leave so early.

Richie didn’t have any classes today and thought he’d enjoy such a treasure by calling up Mike because he missed his voice even though they weren’t even that far away. Though, Richie hadn’t seen much of anyone in a while. He and Eddie spent much of their free time trying to get their schedules aligned and making sure they had dinner together in the spots between work and school. The pair of husbands hadn’t had much in the company department apart from…well, each other.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{December, Freshman Year of College}

Bill tightened his grip around Eddie’s body and attempted to tackle him into the snow but the little demon managed to turn the tables and get the advantage on him. He did not let him fall onto the cold snow but was trying to make sure Bill knew who had one this little play-fight. “Alright, I g-g-give!” He chuckled and Eddie backed off with a skip in his step.

“Ben and Bev s-seemed to have found their ideal apartment!-”

“So I’ve heard.” Eddie smiled and wiggled his cold toes in his shoes. “I talked to Ben on the phone for like two hours last night. Told me all about their plan.” He rolled his lips together and felt the bit of winter at the tips of his ears. “They got their apartment to dwell in for the next three years-”

“And than off to Chicago after graduation!” Bill chuckled, so excited for their best friends.

Eddie nodded but fell silent as they stepped into the same pace, walking through campus without a true destination. “How’s the search goin’ for you two?” Bill asked the question he’d been dreading to answer.

“Mmmm-” Eddie hummed and looked off to the side. “It’s going, alright. we’d like to have something to move into by the start of Sophomore year cause the dorm is way too tight. But it’s gotta be in our price range…” Eddie shrugged. The two of them had been doing fairly ok for a couple of college kids. He’d been balancing school and his job at the shop in town. But Richie-

“Man, I’m so fucking proud of Richie, Bill.” Eddie giggled happily at the thought as Bill threaded their arms together so neither of them slipped on any ice. “He’s somehow balancing classes, his job down at the restaurant and he’s doing the radio shows here…” Eddie glanced up at the school.

Bill shook their grip a little and his smile could’ve blinded. “I’m s-s-so happy for you two. Things seem t-t-to be going pretty smoothly.”

Eddie nodded, mind going back to the night he and Richie lingered in the radio broadcasting room after his show. It’d been snowing extremely hard that night and neither one of them had been eager to run on back to ‘James Taylor’ when the weather would surely bite and they’d have to wait forever for the car to warm itself up. So they stalled for as long as they could.

He blushed at the memory.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{May, just before Sophomore Year of College}

The apartment hunt worked it’s magic and the happy couple had been to find themselves a warm building. It was fairly cheap so it wasn’t what one would call paradise but it was miles better then their tiny dorm room.

Their first year of school had passed them by and gifted them a better perspective on their wants & needs, whether they voiced them to each other was a whole separate issue. They moved in towards the end of June and Eddie had been prescribed his anxiety medication a short four days later.

Richie had noticed his husbands anxiety starting to come up on a rise the past few months. Eddie got sick quite a bit more often and seemed to hopelessly latch onto it. Making himself believe it’s still plaguing him when it’s more or less been gone. There’d been an incident some weeks ago where his husband got to his tipping point. He’d stayed up all night feeling phantom nausea because of a simple test. It’d never been so bad for him before.

So Richie held his hand through and through, making an appointment with the doctor who talked with his husband for a long while. And Eddie left with a piece of paper telling him a low-dose of medication to try out would be waiting for him at their local Walgreens.

“I miss the ol’ gang, we need to get everyone together soon.” Richie sighed and poured Eddie some of the red wine he liked so much, which in moderation was good for the heart, he’d always say. The shorter man took his glass and cuddled up against Richie’s chest and nodded.

They were preparing for a nice and calm movie night even though they should’ve been spending their time unpacking. The boxes were taking up a lot of floor space but with the messes that they could be sometimes, they didn’t really mind.

Two paintings from Sears, three from the local thrift store, a funky chair from Ben’s childhood-home basement and a plaid couch from Bill’s were some of their new ‘purchases’. But the apartment was already starting to feel like home, as long as they had each other anyway.

“Stan passed that exam he was so worried about, I damn well told him that would happen.” Richie chuckled into his own glass and fogged it up while the TV menu appeared.

“We all told him.” Eddie teasingly tipped Richie’s glass with the tip of his finger when he went for another sip. This was rewarded with a sloppy, wet red-wine kiss being pressed against his cheek. Eddie giggled and tried to shove his husband off. “I love you so much, asshole. You know that?”

Richie blushed like a lovesick kid and rubbed his nose into Eddie’s hair as he shook his head. “Not as much as I love you.” He spoke genuinely that Eddie felt that familiar melting sensation. So he reached his hand back to pet the man’s cheek and feel his heat.

“I don’t want to fight on our wedding anniversary but you’re wrong. I love you so much more-!” Eddie was interrupted by Richie shoving his tongue into his ear and his gasp of disgust mixed with laughter he couldn’t help.

The idiots began shoving and tickling each other without a care in the world, balancing their wine glasses because they were too focused to put them back on the table. They’d just have to risk spilling.

They might not have been rolling in the money but they had this. And that was all that mattered. It reminded Richie of a song, so he started mumbling the words into the crook of his love’s neck.

“-And even though we ain’t got money I’m so in love with you honey And everything will bring a chain of love And in the mornin’ when I rise Bring a tear of joy to my eyes And tell me everything is gonna be alright…”

Eddie couldn’t help but sing along with him, eyes glazed over with admiration and true, fine love.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{July , Sophomore Year of College}

The sun was always very fond of Richie, at least Eddie always thought so. The light was consistently complimentary to the man and had this way of making him look like the picture of the sunny 70′s.

“What are you doing?” Richie squinted as he walked briskly to the front of the apartment building where Eddie was sat, hands shoved in his pockets. He’d been gone for a while now and the pair may or may not have left on bad terms…fresh from an argument about something stupid.

“I went out after you left….-” He pointed his thumb at the door behind him. “Got locked out.”

Richie rolled his eyes fondly and got his own key from his pocket as Eddie stood and followed behind him. “Where’s your key? And where did you go?”

The man behind him went quiet again in that eerie way could really freak Richie out sometimes. “Forgot it here. And I um…-I went to Marty’s.” He shrugged like it was no big deal but he knew for certain that it was an explosion waiting to happen. Richie looked at him with fury as they got to his door.

“You went to the bar to look for me?” He glared and it felt as if Eddie’s stomach was suddenly tied in a huge knot.

“You can’t blame me!” He went straight into defense and followed the guy into their lonesome apartment. The air grew with tension as his partner chose not to speak and instead went about the place doing small clean-ups. This only made Eddie feel even more angry. “You honestly can’t blame me. You’ve been known to go there a lot, Rich.”

“I’m not some sorry man that you need to look out for, Ed’s. I know I can…drink a bit more than planned but…” He suddenly turned from his position at the sink. “I don’t just go out drinking because we had a fight. The place had an opening for it’s open mic night and I thought I might try to get a spot for my comedy, you know?” He threw down a dish-towel and Eddie swallowed a lump in his throat.

“I feel like the asshole of the year” He ran his hand through his hair and sat down on the couch, hoping that the ‘fight’ would ease up. “I just thought…you were so upset when you left and it reminded me of the night I had to pick you up-”

“I’m sorry about that, Eddie. I…-losing the restaurant job got me all wigged out. I know that’s no excuse to drink myself sick but…it wasn’t that often and that shit is over now.” Richie grabbed Eddie’s hands and kissed him softly.

“This is not a good period for us, Richie.” Eddie got the hint that the fight had basically run it’s course and they sat down on their couch.

Richie opened and closed his mouth, deciding to just tilt his head back and sigh. There was nothing more for them to say. So they just allowed themselves to enjoy being with the one they loved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{September, Sophomore Year of College}

Richie felt a growing pain in his head. It flared every few minutes and he could almost smell the scent of something burning each time it hit him. The quick intensity was becoming harder and harder to ignore considering Eddie pitter-patting the length of their kitchen. There would be a few minutes of soothing silence and he’d think he was safe…just the distant and quiet hum of the television-*Slam* another clatter from the cold cracking dishes. His ache would start from the base of his back, travel up his spine in the form of a chill and then burst into his temples.

“What are you doing in there?” Richie finally broke their record-breaking twenty minute silence. It had been strange and he was glad the opportunity to speak came up. He turned and due to the small space, he could stare right at the other man in the dining-kitchen area.

“The dishes. Y’know. You eat off of them, I clean them. Ever heard of it?” Eddie remarked with snark. That would have usually launched them into a round of their usual playful bickering but for some odd reason, maybe the headache, it just irritated Richie to hear it.

“I do my part around here.” He scowled and spoke harshly, rolling his eyes. Turning back a little away from.

They’d made it through another week and were back at the beginning of another weekend, magically. Richie and Eddie had attempted many times in the past week or so to plan some kind of exciting date night. But the more time went on, they just seemed to forget or become far too busy. It was agonizing and isolating. Sure they had each other but it just wasn’t…fully satisfying?

Richie felt his lunch launch back up his throat, he harshly swallowed it and let himself feel sick to his stomach. And suddenly, he had a burning question in the back of his mind. It had lingered there for the past few nights but he’d been too…well himself to ask it. But it suddenly pained him not to. He turned again, leaning his arm on the back of the couch. “You’re not…mad at me, are you?” He played with his fingers.

Eddie looked up with a confused expression. “Your tone was hardly nice but I’m not mad-”

“No, not because of that, Spaghetti man.” Richie couldn’t help but grin a little. Eddie smiled right back and it was a nice moment. He bathed in it for a few minutes before deciding to explain himself. “I know I’ve been a piece of work lately…”

Neither had spoken that to light but it may have been true. Richie being fired from the restaurant job he loved which had been a whole event had cause some issues. The need for a job search was sudden and a little difficult. And he may have been a little on edge lately waiting for the bar with the open mic night opening to call him back. But Eddie knew the strain was only because Richie was concerned for their life together. In fact, Eddie was more disappointed that Richie couldn’t focus on the radio show at school that he loved so much.

Eddie thought about making another joke but decided against. Rather, he put his dishes to the side and strolled over and slowly sat beside his boy. Instinctively, he reached over to brush his hair back and lingered his hand there.

“And I don’t admit to that…like ever. So, take it while you can.” Richie stole a joke and laughed lightly. But both of them knew he was not too happy and both of them were worried.

“It’s not comforting when you talk like you despise yourself, y’know?” Eddie blinked. That comment hadn’t been one of Richie’s worst in the last week but it sure wasn’t warm. It was hard to ignore the man’s self-deprecating attitude as of late. And Eddie would never want to just ignore it. In all honesty, it was deeply unsettling but not uncommon to hear the other man talk like that.

As long as he’d known him, Richie put on a front that he was some confident, funny man entertainer. It was so smooth and effortless that it was entirely convincing. Hearing him crack jokes and smirk at his own reckless and daring behavior gave the illusion that it wasn’t stemming from insecurity. Eddie quickly saw through the facade after truly getting to know Richie.

“I’m sorry, Eds.”

“Don’t apologize, Rich.” Eddie kissed the top of his head and then trailed down to his temple. Not for the first time, Eddie felt a rush of guilt. Part of him felt responsible for the fact that Richie was stuck at the University of Maine instead somewhere like…California. Maybe if he hadn’t just pushed away that conversation with Stan all that time ago. Maybe if he’d voiced his confusion back then…

“I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Richie sighed into Eddie’s grip.

“Me too, Rich.” Eddie hugged him as tight as he could and dreaded the moment he’d have to let him go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{November, Sophomore Year of College}

Party streamers were burrowed into the carpeting of the apartment, pounded there from all the dancing. From the neat little window where the tiny balcony sat, the low-hanging sun scattered the room in gold flecks of light. The trees were changing for the upcoming season, Richie’s favorite holiday coming with it. The town was soon to be rid of the deep reds and beautiful oranges. Eddie had a fleeting moment of joy when he thought about the smiles Richie would soon get when observing the scenery. It lasted for a second or two.

The Losers Club had been fully reunited for the best Birthday Party one could imagine. Richie had spent ages organizing everyone’s return for Eddie’s special day. Stanley Uris had got past his 4-hour drive with a smile on his face because seeing all his best friends worth it.

But now came the end of the night, where the decorations hung with a lonesome kind of drowsiness. The apartment had once been tuned to an exciting F.M. but when the last guest left, the dial turned to the A.M. radio. Not literally, but that’s just how Richie felt about it…hard to explain the shit his mind compared things to.

It reminded him of the Christmas parties hosted by his aunt that he’d been taken to as a little tot. The holly-jolly music carried all the guests and filled them with their take of Holiday joy. But on the way home, Richie would be long tired and ready to sleep. As he would dowse, his parents played the A.M. stations. It signaled to him the end of fun and that was the energy in their apartment now.

Eddie started whistling a tune as he dug through their bin of CD’s, eyes never leaving his partners which only made Richie hide his blush behind the large wine glass he’d stolen.

‘You know I can’t smile without you I can’t smile without you I can’t laugh and I can’t sing I’m finding it hard to do anything…’

Richie faked like he was tired of this song but truly he was on cloud 9. “My lovely Ed’s loves his Barry Manilow.” He smirked and held out his hand so the exhausted love of his life could dance with him. “And please, don’t give me the excuse that it’s only cause it’s what you grew up listening to. You love him, Eds.”

Eddie pursed his lips and shrugged, accepting Richie’s hand and twirling himself to Richie’s chest. “This song reminds me of you…” He hummed when Richie ran his hand down his cheek. The dying evening sun cascaded in through the window and bathed their bodies in bittersweet tangerine light. They swirled about their living area carpet in the vacuum of dry and unforgiving air because their heater was on the fritz.

“You requested off work for Christmas, right?” Richie asked and Eddie sighed.

“No, sorry. I forgot.” He spun under Richie’s arm and allowed himself to be pulled right back. Richie softly slapped his shoulder and nodded. They were due back to the Tozier’s household soon. After Richie had told them about that runaway wedding and teen engagement…they’d been fairly pissed. But things were better now.

“S’fine, baby.” Richie mumbled into his hair as they swayed together.

“Richie?” Eddie sucked in some air and thought it to be a now or never kind of situation. His man looked down at him with wide, loving eyes and gave Eddie hope that everything would work out. They stayed dancing. “Do you remember the night we all fought in the car after we told everyone we got married…when I ran off?”

Richie nodded, opening his mouth.

“-Remember when Stan said something about my being confused about wanting to go to the University of Maine?”

“Yeah….why-ummm, why are we bringing this up now?” Richie pulled back a little but they kept swaying as the song went on and on. “Has something changed?”

Eddie bit hard into his lip. “I’ve been thinking about us lately.”

Richie was especially good at making himself look smaller. Sometimes, when Eddie looked at him it was hard not to just take the man into his arms. When Richie was upset, he felt it deep within himself just the same. One of the worst parts of this whole mess was having to witness such emotions from the man he loved. Richie was leaning with his back against the couch to better feel the warmth from the sun-spot coming through the window and it was a breathtaking image. Golden sun-rays threaded through his hair and glazed his entire body and there was a peace there that was soothing. As he admired all that it was and all that he would miss, it occurred to him that maybe the man needed to actually hear some of that love that was on his mind.“Richie?”

The man dropped their hands and nodded. “Sorry, sorry. What have you been thinking about, Eddie?”

Eddie swung his arms around nervously and sighed. “Sometimes I wonder if our friends were right…about our marriage.”

Richie felt his heart completely shatter. “Eddie, I-”

“Wait, just hear me out.” Eddie held up his hand to gently pause the man he loved so, so much. “I am so in love with you, Richie. I love being your husband.” He saw a quick picture of the face that old man, Oliver, had made when talking about his wife all that time ago. “It’s just…I think our relationship and later…our marriage kept you from going to California like you always wanted to.”

“Eddie, that’s ridiculous-”

“Is it though? The reason you applied University of Maine was because you wanted to be with me. The reason you ended up actually going was a commitment to our marriage…” Eddie sniffled back some tears and tried not to drown in the guilt. “And the reason I applied was because….I was scared to be far from my mom, not because I wanted to go.”

Eddie admitted that to his shoes and let out a horrible sob. Richie came over to pull the boy into his arms. “Hey, hey, hey…Shhhh, Ed’s. Take a breath.” He ran his hands through the boys hair and they went quiet so Eddie could collect himself. And when he did, Richie stepped back again.

“I love you but I feel like our marriage is holding us back, baby.” Eddie cringed when Richie let out his own sob. “I’m so so so scared that I’m gonna need someone to take care of me for my whole life…” Eddie went on and Richie tried very hard to listen. “I’m such a dependent person sometimes and…I-I don’t think jumping from a dependent relationship with my mother to a committed marriage was a great thing for me…no matter how much I love you.”

Richie’s heart shattered. “Eddie…but I’m not like your mother. I’m not gonna smother you or-”

“I know that.” Eddie frowned. “Damn sure of that. But the problem is me, Richie.” He shook his head and sort of hated himself. “This situation that my mother created for me has made me too comfortable with always having someone take care of me. I let it fucking happen because I’ve been forced to be dependent my whole childhood…my whole life.”

“And I don’t wanna live like that.” Eddie broke into a full sub and fell to his knees on the carpet, smashing more dead party streamers. Richie fell down in front of him and hopelessly pulled him in for a hug.

“Eddie…-”

“I don’t wanna hold you back anymore, Richie. And I gotta…” He hiccuped into Richie’s chest. “I have to get some perspective on life and shit. Be independent for once in my damn life.”

“Eddie, why didn’t you talk to me-?”

“I didn’t really realize this shit until a few days ago, Richie. And I was scared you’d think it was because I didn’t love you. Which is Bullshit. I love you more than anything. You’re the one I’m supposed to be with just…not like this. Not in this situation, right now.” Eddie pulled back, a little bit more relaxed and grabbed Richie’s hands. “So I think I should go. We should take a break. I don’t know for how long-”

“Eddie. We can work this out.” He pathetically begged and tugged his husband’s arms.

“We can.” Eddie agreed. “Just by ourselves first. Separated.”

Richie hiccuped himself and shook his head. “No, Eddie. We need to be together..I-.” He frowned. “If you walk out that door, that’s it. Not a break. We’ll be broken up. That’s it.” Richie stood up and looked down at the love of his life hoping to anything that would listen that Eddie might change his mind because of his juvenile threat.

Eddie looked up with wide, watery eyes. “This is something I have to do, Richie. Something you have to do too. I want the best life for you so if you’re gonna damn threaten me than I’ll have to take it. If being broken up means that you’ll get the life you deserve, well that’s the path we’ll take.” Eddie hopped up and ran to the bedroom, starting to get his shit together in a suitcase.

Richie felt the wind get knocked out of him as he chased Eddie around the apartment, slowly falling apart with everything he threw in the suitcase. “Eddie. Please slow down. Stop-”

“I’m going to Bill’s.” Eddie made it to the front door with a suitcase full of random clothes that he hoped would get him through at least a week. He hovered his hand on the doorknob.

“I mean it, Eddie. You leave and that’s it.” Richie sobbed. Eddie looked at him with all the love in his soul….

He turned the knob and left Richie to crumble onto his carpet and cry his eyes out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{A week later….}

The night was a trying one for Richie. The apartment was practically dead apart from the terribly busy sounding quick taps of a keyboard. And though he was the one making that sound, it didn’t stop it from slowly driving him insane. His stomach turned from the mixture of anger and nerves that were boiling inside. So instead of slamming his head into his palms and letting out the emotions, he composed himself. He sat straight and tall, threading his slim fingers together. He copycatted those relaxing breaths Mike had once taught him.

He was attempting to get some homework done and treated himself to glass of chocolate milk like he was a child. Just as the last drop splashed in the glass, his phone began ringing.

“Eddie’s coming over there in like twenty minutes.” Bill’s cool voice spoke from over the phone and Richie’s hopes climbed so high. “Don’t get t-t-too excited. He just wants to p-pick up some more clothes and his medication.”

Richie nodded and sighed. By now, the news must have traveled to every member of The Losers Club and for once in his life, Richie was glad Stan was far away. He couldn’t face him knowing his best friend had been right the entire time and he had to learn it the hard way instead of hearing him out all that time ago. He’d rather be in his father’s dentist chair than face Stan anytime soon.

“You ok, Rich?”

Richie shrugged even though Bill couldn’t see. “Try absolutely heart-broken, Billiam.”

Bill’s end went quiet until he let out a sigh. “I know this is hard on you guys but Richie, try to understand that this is really i-i-important to Eddie.” Bill echoed Eddie’s sentiment and Richie felt a tear try to escape. He was right. He’d been as jerk to refuse the break Eddie had offered. Living independently seemed like something that meant a lot to his…-to Eddie.

He hated to admit it but he waited around for Eddie pathetically for the whole twenty-five minutes it took for him to arrive. What really put the nail in the coffin was the fact that Eddie buzzed. As permission to enter the apartment building they were supposed to be living in together. He insisted that Eddie not knock once upstairs, just walk in the damn room.

The front door closed alarmingly soft but Richie picked it up nonetheless and his head snapped up. The sight he took in was to be expected but still extremely painful no matter what. Eddie seemed unable to let go of the doorknob, eyes watered to the point of boiling over. He slowly raised himself off the couch and made his way over. He gently reached out and unclasped Eddie’s hand for him which shocked the smaller man. “Let’s talk? Before you go.” He soothed. He then guided him inside.

The pair made themselves comfortable at the kitchen counter and stood their in silence for a few seconds. Eddie’s eyes dragged over the homework scattered around and couldn’t help but smile at the glass of Chocolate milk. It made Richie blush.

“I just want to say that I’m sorry for being such an ass.” Richie swallowed under Eddie’s watchful, wide and watery eyes. “You…you were trying to be honest with me and I-….”

Eddie shook his head. “You don’t have to apologize. I sprung this all on you and just expected you to….-Well, I don’t really know what I expected.” His shrug rolled flawlessly off his shoulders and they both let out a long sigh.

“Ed’s, I don’t want our life together to start out like this-” Richie gestured between them, thinking of the strain lingering there for some time now. “So if this is what you want…-Something we need then it has to happen.”

Eddie licked his lips and looked away briefly. “You should get out of Maine, Rich. You belong somewhere…big in personality.” He chuckled a little.

“Correct you are, Eddie my boy-” Richie habitually grinned before letting it fall off his face. “This place…this school-” He gestured to the homework “They’re not where I should be…where we should be.”

Richie and Eddie’s eyes met once more but both seemed far too nervous to keep the contact. Both opting to stare off somewhere else. “I was selfish to ask this to be a break-to ask you to wait for me…”

Richie stood up straighter and frowned. “Ed’s no-…I was stupid for threatening a breakup…”

The two of them stared each other down again, both barely holding it together. It was pathetic really-the two of them standing in the crappy kitchen with tears just streaming down their faces. “I want you to live, Rich. That good, fast life that’s meant for you. I don’t want you to be waiting for me-”

Richie remembered some Billy Joel song, it played far off in his head. ‘You’re only standing there 'cause somebody once did somebody wrong. But you’ll be sleeping with the television on…’

“I don’t know what to say…for the first time in my life, huh?” Richie pathetically giggled but choked it down when Eddie grew even more concerned. “So, we thinking a divorce…or…?” Richie tried to be falsely cheer but it only seemed to break him in the last possible way. He hiccuped and bent forward as a sob wrecked his body. Eddie ran to him, he always did so.

And the two men stood in a shitty apartment kitchen and gripped tightly onto each other. Crying into Eddie’s shoulder or Richie’s chest. Whichever, didn’t really matter because soon that great option would be gone and anymore tears they shed would be coddled alone.

~~~~~~~

After Eddie left the place, Richie completely broke down in his living room in a mirrored way to Eddie’s breakdown in Bill’s apartment…though it took them both around an hour to truly let it flow…at almost the exact same time…they broke…

A small glass of perfume sat on a dresser in the guest room housing Eddie. It was the small and delicate glass with a large daisy stopper blocking any leakage.

It sat there, absolutely still, as a pair of hands quickly picked and pulled from the array of products sat around it. But with that speed came clumsiness and the hands just darted to fast on the pull-back of some papers and down came the bottle. Knocking it off the counter and revealing the ring of dust that had been living underneath it.

Eddie paused for a moment before peeking over the lip of the dresser to find the tiny bottle. The rounded broken piece was rolling just the slightest bit while the rest of the tiny shards bathed in the small puddle of the scent leaking out.

That perfume had once belonged to his mother, her favorite scent. He’d taken it with him upon leaving for school that first time because…it was a sort of comforting smell. Call it pathetic aromatherapy? It gave him a sense of her old coddling. Kneeling down, he intended to start cleaning the mess up but he hesitated. The tip of his finger laid frozen in the burgundy puddle as a wave of emotion fell upon him. He’d been holding back on truly coming to terms with what his mind and body ached for. But looking at the old shattered tie to his smothering mother on Bill’s hardwood floor…the gate was opened without his permission.

A flood of tears finally broke past his eyes again and rolled down his cheeks, the heat from his previous restrain could almost burn his skin. In an instant he was near hysterical. His breathing was rapid and short as it became harder for him to push-back the devastation. More then anything in his life he wanted to call Richie…he wanted him with him. But at the same time he was desperate to shove him away entirely and gain some damn independence…let Richie breathe.

The palm of his hand curled over his mouth in an attempt to block some of the sound from breaching the thin walls of Bill’s home. He did not want Bill to hear any bit of this breakdown, he didn’t need to see him so…sad. He was already taking him in until he got back on his feet and he didn’t need anymore stress so he just needed to be strong, he was usually extremely good at that. It was enough that he’d broken down when facing the love of his life. There’d be nothing more now.

A deep breath or two and he was off the floor and on his way to collect a dust-pan and broom.

But as always, Bill Denbrough seemed to sense the trouble and came to Eddie.

‘Fuck’ that broke Eddie again. Bill took his second ‘little’ brother into his arms and they both swayed. Bill, who wasn’t scared of anything at all in the eyes of his best friends…feared for these two. He looked up, some of Eddie’s hair catching his eyes, and he hoped to anything that would listen that Richie and Eddie will work it out. The Losers Club had always just assumed they’d be together forever since they were little…just the same as they assumed it for Ben and Beverly when they found each other.

Richie and Eddie were far too young to be going through a divorce.

~~~~~~~

Richie curled up on his couch, going from mindlessly watching the Food Network to sleeping to the sound of ‘Friends’. His eyes burned from all the shitty crying and staring at his laptop screen. He’d even managed to get that homework done. But now he was at a loss.

Part of him ached to call his parents. They’d know what to say but it gave him the same dread that calling up Stan would.

If he came to them crying, it only further hammered in the point that they’d been right all along. Marrying your sweetheart in High School was a bad idea. Who knew?

Richie was awakened by the sound of the buzzer. He shuffled out of bed and let whoever it was come up, hoping it was Mike. He was the best of em’ and he always had something kind to say even if you’d been in the wrong…Mike was always on your side.

When the knocking came, Richie eagerly walked to the door and…

“Hey.”

Stanley Uris hiked up a bag slung over his shoulder and smiled gently. Richie kinda wanted to throw up just the same as he wanted to hug him. “Big Bill told everyone, right?” Richie smirked and nodded to himself, bouncing on his feet. “Come to tell me how right you were-? Tell me that if i’d only listened to you this never would’ve happened-”

Stan took the bag of his shoulder and set it near Richie’s feet. “You know me better than that, asshole.” He frowned but opened his arms wide. It was a sight that drove Richie back into his fucking tears. He fell into the arms of his friend and sobbed again and again until it was time to breathe.

Stan rubbed a hand through his hair and tried to calm him. “You’re gonna be ok, Rich.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So life went on the way it always does for The Losers Club. Best friends. Before the start of his Junior year, Richie decided to take a good ol’ road-trip down to California for a small summer taste of it all. With him, he took Michael Hanlon who desperately needed the break.

But as life would have it, Mike returned to Maine alone. Richie’s summer taste turned into a full-on love affair that lead him to start the hectic process of transferring schools.

Ben and Beverly waited until graduation but left for Chicago the instant it was over. Both of them had worked internships at offices for their respective career choices and earned themselves singing recommendations.

Stanley Uris finished up in Vermont, meeting the loveliest girl in the process, Patty. And the two of them flooded off to Georgia where Stan was eerily 100% sure was the right place. And almost instantly, they seemed to fall into the dreamiest of job situations.

Michael went off to Florida. The place which had been calling him since he was young and became a full-time librarian at one of the finest library’s he’d ever set foot in.

Bill continued with his writing and traveled to New York in the middle of his junior year which funnily enough was where Eddie had been drawn too as well. From there, Bill met and fell for a girl called Audra.

As Eddie started work at a nice office for Risk Analysis, Richie got his dream job at a California Radio Station.

There were plenty of visits, phone-calls and group-chats to keep the love flowing. Because after all, Losers stick together…

Even if a once couple…married couple…seemed to drift away from each other. After the divorce papers were signed…Richie&Eddie became Richie and Eddie.

In desperate fear, they became the most distant of the bunch. Not with the others. No. Just each other. Which was truly devastating when everyone knew how much they loved each other.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{December, Ten years later}

“-And a real famous cat all dressed up in red. And he spends the whole year workin’ out on his sled. It’s the little Saint Nick. Ooooo, little Saint Nick!”

Richie Tozier turned right down the next small street and seemed to forget to use his blinker. He tapped his hands against the wheel as if it were his very own drum-set and chuckled to himself. Being back in Derry was certainly a trip.

But with the Holiday’s, it came time for Ol’ Richie to visit the parents who were still cuddled up in their tiny-town home. Part of him was kind of excited to see the little stop-and-shop piece of shit town again. It’d been a solid couple of years since the last time he’d set foot on Derry’s fine streets.

“She’s candy-apple red with a ski for a wheel. And when Santa hits the gas, man, just watch her peel-”

Richie hit the brake far harder than intended but the minor choking from the seat-belt was worth it. Right in perfect view was…damn Eddie Kaspbrak walking down the side-walk, hands shoved into his jacket pockets. The night air was a bitter kind of chill and snow was beginning to fall. Richie bit hard into the smirk now coming over his face.

He pulled the car close to the curb and rolled the window down. Sticking his head out, he did his best cat-call whistle (not that he did that kinda thing-ha ha). Eddie did not spare a glance, just walked a little faster so-

“HEY ASSHOLE!!” Richie laughed wildly, still cruising slowly.

Eddie stopped in his tracks and snapped his head to the right, eyes widening almost instantly. “Dick! That you? Didn’t recognize you in that…” He glanced over the supremely nice car with something of wonder…wanting to get his hands all over it. “Sweet car, man.” Eddie strolled forward, Richie felt his chest tighten with joy. “What happened to ‘James Taylor’?” he pouted his lips and rested his hands on the open ledge of the window.

“Ah, Ed’s my boy. You see….-” Richie tapped the mirror with charm and tried to hide his blush. “When you’re a successful as I am-”

Eddie hunched over slightly in laughter, bringing their faces much closer together. So close that Richie thought he might lose what little cool he had. “Good to know you stayed just as humble as you used to be.”

They chuckled together before Richie found himself astoundingly nervous again. “Your mom drag you back here for the Holiday’s?”

Eddie licked his lips and nodded. “Something like that-” He rubbed his finger into the corner of his eyes. “My mom died, actually. I’m in town for the um-funeral arrangements and all that jazz, baby.” He pathetically waved his hands in a mock dance. It struck Richie as odd, it seemed like more of something that he’d do.

“I’m sorry, Eddie.” He hoped to sound genuine which in part, he was. But there was that large part of distaste and hatred in his soul for Sonia that only had grown larger over the years.

“Yeah, it’s fine.” He looked away and shivered a little in the night air. “I was just taking a walk to clear my head.”

“Wanna clear it in here?” Richie gestured to the empty passengers seat which was far from the picture of calm. The vehicle was decorated very closely to the way one’s home would be for the holidays. String lights around the ceiling and a Little Tree Freshener spun in fake toy-dollhouse lights hung over the rear-view mirror. It made Eddie unbelievably giddy. Such a Richie thing to do.

“Oh definitely.” Good to know that they were still just as good at ignoring the issues in favor of the natural chemistry they had together. It was a charm that got them into a lot of trouble in the past. But Eddie didn’t mind, he walked around and hopped inside with excitement.

Richie pulled off the curb and leaned over dangerously to open the glovebox where two Santa hats laid. “Wanna be go for matching?”

“Oh, hell yeah. Obviously” Eddie shrugged with his toothy grin that Richie had always adored. So they sat in their seats…in red & white holiday hats…like a pair idiots. But Eddie just had to admire this long lost love of his.

“I’m so proud of you, Rich.” Eddie let that comment slip and Richie blushed. “I watched that comedy special you did-”

“We did the right thing.” Richie interrupted Eddie no matter how hard it was to stop such a delightful giggle. His ex fell silent and time was passed in the company of the sound of the Christmas tunes and rolling tires on loud streets.

“Hey-”

Eddie blinked up to find Richie pulling closer to the curb again and pointing. “That’s the um-that’s that bench where Bill totally flipped over on his bike. Remember? He was distracted-”

“By you and your impression of that cop. I remember.” Eddie giggled again and the tension was lifted once more. “If you go up the street a little…yeah-”

Eddie snapped his fingers as Richie followed his direction, the bell at the end of his hat jingled. “That’s where I ran off to that night I pretended that I had to puke…”

The park looked a little deserted and Richie had to laugh at the picture of his once boyfriend sprinting down the sidewalk, so tipsy.

“Ben came and got me…” He looked towards the gazebo with love in his eyes. “He was really there for me that night.” He nodded and Richie decided to move on with this fun tour of Derry’s hot-spots.

The two of them cruised past so many of the Losers Club’s old favorite places and shared everything attached to them again.

They pulled down a lonesome street and found the sight of the drive-in root-beer place. It was still across the street from the abandoned 7/11 that used to be a CVS where no one had ever shopped. Except now, it was an open Walgreens. Both of them stared down the Drive-in….

“Still open…impressive.” Richie pulled onto the curb a bit and parked. He glanced at his friend who was now opening the car door and climbing out. “Oh, we’re going inside?”

“Hell yeah.” Eddie leaned back down into the window, eyes wide and hoping. Richie was overcome with a great sense of joy. He shut the car off and followed the man of his dreams into the restaurant that held all their first date memories.

~~~~~~~

“Would it impress you to see me eat AND keep down my hot-dog dipped in the Root-Beer Float?” Richie asked, swirling his airborne dog in the open air over the sweet drink.

Eddie giggled. “That’s disgusting. Please don’t do that for the sake of my entertainment.”

Richie set down his dog and leaned back on the orange vinyl, thinking of Skip Larson’s flying homework assignments again. “Why did you give me that second date, Ed’s?” He asked, looking away and at his meal.

Eddie slurped down some of his drink and grinned. “Easy. I was in love with you. No amount of vomit could change that.”

Richie covered his grin with his cupped hand. “Thank you for doing what you did, Eddie-”

“I don’t know that I’ll ever feel good about hurting you like that, Richie. For us drifting apart like that. That shit keeps me up at night.” Eddie shook his head and Richie sighed because ‘yeah, that shit sucked’. He set his napkin down and strolled over to Eddie’s side of the booth.

“The marriage was a mistake…” He nodded. “But you were never the mistake, Eddie.” He stared into his eyes with direct contact for the first time in a long while. It threw them both for a wild shake. “If we didn’t stop it when we did…” He shrugged. “We would have gotten too comfortable with the settling we were doing in Maine. It wouldn’t have worked out.”

“I still feel like shit-”

“Ok so, you feel like shit. But look at you, living a damn good life. You’re successful. You like your job-”

“Love my job.” Eddie added because it was true. It was something he was heavily invested in.

“Love your job. Got to New York, where you were meant to be…your soul place, I think. And hell, Eddie you’re so fucking independent. The guys talk about how proud they are all the time. I’m proud as shit too. A nice fuck you to Sonia Kaspbrak-” Richie paused, realizing how inappropriate that was considering. But Eddie only nodded in agreement.

“A nice fuck you.” He repeated in confirmation. There was still some kind of love and there always would be but…he didn’t have to like her to love her. Maybe that was sad.

“And I-…well, I got my radio show in California and it means so much to me, baby. We never…ever would have got that shit on the path we were stuck on. So yeah, we’ll feel like shit for losing these years but it’s better than the place we were all those years ago.” Richie threw his arm around Eddie and the smaller of the two sighed into it. “Now, I didn’t miss ya much myself-” Richie exaggerated his hand gestures. “BUT My parents, for one, missed you like crazy.”

Eddie giggled. “How are the Toziers?” he asked, a new fry hanging slightly from his mouth.

“Oh, my favorite old people are living it up. My mother and I have never had a better relationship, I swear on it. I talk to em’ like every other day. Just can’t get rid of them! Wentworth asks about you a lot if he’s not distracted by the other Losers which the ol’ Toziers begged me to ask them over for the Holiday’s last week.” Richie shrugged and Eddie realized just how much he missed Richie’s folks too.

“I’m still so crazy about you.” Eddie spoke in soft wonderment and bit hard into his lip.

“We’re in the same boat, babe.” Richie grinned.

“Could you give me another chance, you think?” Eddie asked, still believing he deserved for Richie to be mad. “Forgive me?” He added, looking unbelievably nervous.

Richie dunked the Hot-Dog in the float and grinned. “Eddie, my love, don’t ask such dumb questions.” He took a large chunk of the food and swallowed it down with his happy smile. “I said it before and I’ll say it forever, you’ve got nothing to apologize for. Now please, come make-out with me in the bathroom?”

Richie held out his hand which Eddie gladly accepted. They’d finally found their way back to each other and they couldn’t wait to share the news with their best friends.

#this fic is weird and kinda sad at points #hope you like it??#reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #my fanfiction #it chapter 2 #it chapter two #i dont know #it's weird #please tell me how you feel #christmas #holiday fic

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