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miiserableee · 2 years ago

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( POLAR MYSTIQUE ) ▸ TRES : ! ( dos ) / ( quatro )

scaramouche × fem!reader ! ( summary ) in which two persistent people's story is shared and discussed , a hopeless sinful love finally dimming its dwindling light . ( mentions ) of reader having an older brother , being perfect , smart athletic u know the drill , xiaoven ! unrequited feelings ! rejection ( xiao receiving from reader , sob ) toxic (?) relationships ! ooc xiao , venti , scaramouche ! drunk reader ! reader w/ abandonment issues ! reader kind of a bro-con ! reader is weak to alcohol ! this is uh , kind of in a 2nd person viewpoint of xiao ! transparent cheating ? xiao mentioned to be in love with reader and venti ? ( 7k words ) modern!au!

also might feel like a xiao x reader cause , cause yes i kinda felt like writing him these days i hab no idea why , using him as a semi-reference for a character im doing in a orig taglish series maybe one of the reasons but yes , im getting off track again . MIGHT FEEL LIKE A XIAO × READER IF U SKIP CHAPTER UNO & DOS ! cringe level of this broke my records so beware ! yes , please-ism .

𖥼 , MESSY STRAYED BLOOMING YOU'VE DONE !

HE STARES . at his phone's screen . he's been staring since earlier actually . almost looking as if he's glaring at it now . what exactly was the object of such serious peering ? well , it's one of your messages . a hastily typed , come if u can—!! standing as the last message in said message box . he had been staring at it , even got so mad when a classmate of his , taking the same class asked him why he was so occupied . well , mad wouldn't really fit it , enraged maybe , his amber eyes gleaming darkly at that guy's greens . xiao was sure the classmate with a name he had never heard or bothered remembering before felt offended and scared enough to spout half-baked insults as he drags away his things to flee .

was in such a hurry that he didn't know his bag wasn't zipped and most of his pens dropped down the white of the marbled flooring . xiao didn't bother going to fetch the pens and chuck it back that guy's bag or something . he just pushes his phone away on the large of the desk . the lecture hall , now empty , the lecture ending about a few dozens of minutes ago . his last class was this one so he didn't bother packing up right away . not like he even did put out any of his things . no more class seem to be planning on using this hall for now too . he grunts .

leaning back his head on the seat , staring at the ceiling and muttering unintelligible nothings . "Should I go ?" he sucks on his tongue and settles it between his teeth . "I shouldn't ," remembering your face and to keep himself from biting into the poor pinkish pierced muscle , he just shuts his eyes . inhaling deeply . "Wanna see her ."

"Really ?" ticklish against his pale skin were trails of hair , all soft and smooth , smell all too familiar for him to feel wary . he sighs . the question floating around until he catches up with it , a butterfly net , snuggling it in a jar with his answer , "Hm , sorry ." he helplessly mutter , eyes of greens , almost too blinding , seemingly flash a set of relief . venti chuckles , pressing a kiss unto his forehead , "It's fine ."

xiao sighs at the feeling of those lips pressing up at a space on his tattoed skin , almost sending tingling electric volts in him . venti pulls him up from how he slouch himself into his seat . his black coat straightening up , his sleeveless turtle neck suddenly having him feel , just a teensy bit , stuffy . chains dangling and earrings gleaming with the lights suddenly emitting , the clouds are making way . the smell of apples slapping his worries away . "Go , pick her up . I'll be waiting at the cafe ." there wasn't a hint of worry . a hint of doubt . a hint of envy .

and as much as that should impale xiao , it relieves him .

"I'm sorry ." he so repeats , venti giggling one last time , one last squeeze on both his palms before muttering a low , "As I said , it's alright !" xiao smiles softly at the reassurement , though of course , not at all convinced , he knew he had to turn a blind eye to it , again , like he had been doing for two years on start and end . since , deep rooted feelings aren't that easily erased . grabbing his phone and slinging his sling bag over his shoulder , he was ready to go .

"I'll get going now ."

the considerably bubbly alcoholic nods and wave . watches as his lover turns his back to leave . a low hum leaving him as he fetches his phone from his own coat's pockets . "Ah , I forgot to the end the call ."

"So it seems ."

venti laughs , a bit heartily , quite not what diluc wanted to hear but he kept his mouth shut . this wasn't his business , none of his business . he sighs against his phone . venti knew what was coming , he even has his answers ready . "I didn't at all think you'd be this generous of a being ."

"I'm not ." venti grins , his tone lively , voice full of blissful melody . not even a hint of melancholy . despite what come may , despite the potential tragedy . diluc strikes a light glare , maybe intended for his regular costumer , but only ever landing on an empty seat on the other side of the counter . "Then are you just foolish ? Allowing him to remain by your side despite how he's already admitted of having feelings for someone else . It's either some bad case of over brimming stupidity or generosity ."

diluc pauses , oh right , he doesn't have a say in this . his sentence ended with an obvious falling cut , venti doesn't say a thing for a while . an unlikely thing for him to do with that loose mouth . he's always been a talker , be it drunk or sober . "It's neither ." he finally answers , stepping down the stair case to leave the hall . "I'm just sure ." diluc rolls his eyes .

"That he doesn't have a chance !"

venti would also comment on his tones and choice of words and voicing but , he doesn't really mind , so long as he pushes his message on . he needed to be pushed on with that message too . to say that he wasn't worried , would be a lie , really . xiao is one to be rather devoted . be it by the act of loving or hating , doing anything . it's hard to say that he'd even be able to get over you . seeing as , you've rejected the guy already but there he was still .

helplessly in love with you .

maybe even , stupidly in love with you . venti would hate on the thought , on the idea of his lover's persistence , but that devotion was also the reason he fell in love with him . venti couldn't say no when xiao asked , no , begged for him to not leave . but in truth , he didn't want to leave him either .

he even went as far as to act like he wouldn't mind you being in their relationship . like a throuple per say . you were one lovely girl after all , it's hard to not trip , not fall for one like you . especially applicable theory to one like xiao . if he was really giving , then he would've given xiao to you , done something to make things for you two work . seeing as how things with you and scaramouche is going , it wouldn't be that hard to forcefully make you turn over a new leaf .

turn over past feelings and start developing new ones . but venti didn't . venti couldn't . it'd hurt , hurt so bad . he can only hope that you wouldn't somehow find the path to this turning over a new leaf maze shit , that'd be bad . super bad .

just as bad as how xiao's feeling right now . heart raging in his ribcage , somewhat pounding and hitting its veins within said premise that he so vividly felt it . he shakes his head , he hasn't even seen you yet . just why is he so excited ? well , there is the idea that he'd be able to see you again . considering how you were so occupied with things these last few weeks he couldn't really get a hold of you , not like he tried to anyways . with his circumstances , even if he could , he still really shouldn't .

y/n l/n

im at the benches near our department !

are you sure abt picking me up ????

i can go by myself !

a feeling akin to that of buds of cotton blooming into his chest , he imagines how you'd say those messages in person . probably with small expressions and barely any big-on emotion . he doesn't bother reply . already seeing you seated by one of the benches . still staring at your phone , probably waiting for him to reply now that he's got it on read . hm , he should walk to you faster .

he does . almost sprinting to you .

"Hey ." almost a whisper , his voice sounded as so . but you heard him , he's made his presence known , holding you by your shoulder . crisp looking top , looking a bit crumpled . you turn to him , already knowing who he was , a look of mid glee proposed to him . he scanned your face , amber eyes sticking at your visage . you didn't mind , immediately standing and having his hand feel lonely with the way it didn't have your warm shoulder to clasp on anymore .

"You're not wearing a coat ." he says , it's cold season , he would've said as well . you just smile , "I like feeling cold ." and he nods , he's heard you mention that before , but he can't help but worry , seeing as today it's particularly really cold . he planned to take off his coat , put it over your shoulders , have his scent mixing with yours . but you hold at the back of his hand before he can , "You don't like the cold ." you say , looking at him with the words , so don't give me your expensive looking coat , etched at your e/c eyeballs .

he chuckles , you must've caught glimpse of his bare arms under the thick of said coat . "Hm ." putting it back on , you whisper a "Let's go ?" which he answered with a silent nod . "I'm reaaaally sorry you had to go , the cafe I work in is really weird . Having such requirements mandatory for us employees to meet ." you whine , undeniably , sounding as though you felt bothered , which was expected . you only ever felt such sensation during moments you felt like you're bothering others . he doesn't keep silent , knowing that you'd go on and on and bury yourself too deep again .

"It's alright , classes ended early and I had tons of free time ." he mouths , the cold fogging up the air he breathed out , "Venti too , he ," pausing to stare aside and breathe in this time , you patiently wait . "His ended earlier than mine so he went ahead to the cafe ." you glance at him before nodding , bottom lip chilling between both lanes of teeth , "Did you bring your motor bike ? Are we going to take the bus ?"

since the store is about three long ass streets away . though he knew you knew he doesn't do buses , you still put it out there . as if knowing he would ride on one if ever he has to for you . he shakes his head , the thought drifting away with the shaking . "I bought a car last week ." he says , which you just smiled at , "Nice ! Does that mean I can hit up a ride ? Or do I go by bus ?" your questions could be regarded idiotic and unexpected to be questioned by one of your kind , someone supposedly acing the hardest exams of every difficult class . but he liked the contrast .

"Yeah , it means you get to hit up a ride ." he answers , noticing soon then that your attention wasn't on him anymore , as normal as that is for him from you , he still opt to know the reason for your distraction . and won't you look at that , it's an arcade machine . a claw machine to be precise . mounds of soft looking stuffed toys inside , animals like bunnies , cats and what others there are , all in pastel light colors . shining were they , and he bets you were blinded enough by the sheen that you forgot all else . just staring at it . he stares too .

couldn't find anything special about it . but it seems that you have . so he should probably try and find it too . to be better in the field of understanding you , to better himself enough to compensate for the years he couldn't get to spend with you , for the mere reason that fate decided you meet him too late . literally , too late .

"Can I try ?" you ask , pointing at the machine and he looks at you before slowly nodding , why are you asking him ? it isn't like he owned the thing . he had a few of the kind at home but he obviously wouldn't own something so cute-looking . he lets it slide seeing how cute you are simply pleading for him to tell you that yeah , you can , go ahead . is it some sort of wealth-rank complex ????? he just watches you clutch at the joy sticker , the red nub being a stopper . you held unto it so tightly he almost felt bad for said part .

moving the crane , you seem to want the meaty cat one , almost looking like some low budget edition totoro , but he keeps his mouth shut . watching you push the button looking all sure that you'd get it . the way it didn't at all grab the thing and just lifted back up looked akin to how quickly the edges of your lips risen , dawned down at the sight . he stares , "One more time ." but oop , you failed again . maybe there are some things ms. perfect can't do . though he didn't expect this one since you often frequent an arcade somewhere near the area . he figured you still haven't gotten the hang of it .

"Let me try ." he offers , which you look at him questioning at first at before your jaw slacked upon some inner realization . boy he wished you didn't just think what he thinks you did . you make way though . and decidedly , he was now the maneuver of the machine . the machine's sound effects as it moves the crane almost sounded like screeching as he moves the joy sticker , the machine anticipating the chances of ripping you off slipping . said machine had amazing future-looking skills ! the crane lands ! and the claw ? snatched that cheap ass totoro ! you were silently gaping as it moved from where the low budget built totoro is , to that open slot . when it was on the price out you looked at it with a look of holy shit . almost as if you've just seen michael jackson rise from the dead . xiao was the one to take it from the slot .

also was the one that handed it over to you , its size being just , perfect ! you couldn't believe he actually got it on the first try , or so he thought you thought from the way you looked . you did mention a few times , that you take three to four tries to get one stuffed toy .

he would've bought the machine and given it to you then and there instead but with how you look now by just the toy itself , maybe it was wise that he didn't at all propose such idea aboard . "You don't want it ?" he questions , as you just let him flail it between you two . you took it at hand right away , "Man , that was so cool ! Thank youuuu !" he shyly nods , but he bets that nod deemed like one of his usual ones , which he'd prefer .

"Yeah , let's get to my car ." he pushes you gently with a hand pressing at your shoulder since time seem to have meant nothing to you anymore as soon as the toy landed on your palms . guiding you to his said car . you just blatantly follow .

"Pretty car . It suits you ." you fastened your belt , you tried at least . where the fuck is it . you seem to fume out . he waits for you to put it on and just like with the claw machine he just offers to help you get it over with , though this time there was no warning . just putting an arm in front and finding the thing quickly . fastening it over you and you thank him again .

"Venti helped , picking it out ." you nod , holding the stuffed toy up your bag down your lap . "How's things going for you ?" he starts the engine , "Alright , Diluc's new bar near the area is opening up tonight . Been helping out ." looking back to get the car out of parking . "Mr. Ragnvindr opened up a new branch ?"

"Mhm hm , the one we went to two years ago had been doing well so he had a chance to open up a new one by the opposite area of it ." he starts to drive , and he was glad he picked up on how quite quickly . "Nice , are you gonna start working there too ?"

"Nope , the one we went to two years ago is nearer my dorm , but I'll be working there for a bit after the opening to , hm , he said something about attracting customers ." unlike him who didn't at all understand what that meant yet just agreed to it cause fuck further discussions , the context seem to click on you quicker than the moment he just agreed to it . "Mr. Ragnvindr sure is smart ." xiao doesn't at all try and question what you mean anymore and just drove . "What about you , how's it been going ?" you shrug , "Been alright too . Same old same old ." you smile , "Thank you for coming again , must've sucked . You could've gone to a date with Venti or something ."

he blinks , turning the wheel , "We'll consider our time there as a date , don't worry about it ." you laugh at this , shoulders jittering , "Me third-wheeling your moments , yay ." though sounding sarcastic , with the laughs your emitting , he couldn't tell . "Throuples exist you know ." he mutters , you hear . "Yehp ." he knew you knew what he meant , but you shoved it down the back of your head . just as he should have .

"We're here ."

and so you were . the drive went on with more talking , not like the silence was in any way awkward . but he felt the need to hear your voice as much as he can , so he kept going on with questions masked with a sense of concern . what a joke . though aware , you answer anyway .

it was the usual small cafe , in front of the small bookstore , beside the antique shop . resting rows of flowers in small black pots , some hanging , some just there on the floor . he knew you watered those plants during your shifts , you also are the one who picked out most of the seeds . you've said once that the pay here is good , due to being run by some wealthy old married couple , living by the same street . i sure am surrounded by rich people . you joked once .

he walks the path of shining stones , they were flat but you'd mistake them for being bumpy . he twists the knob of the glass door , the sign welcome ! swaying and the chime bells ding . he steps aside and urges you to go in first , you just smile at this and does just as he motioned you to do .

you're walking in as a fellow customer today . bringing two friends in . to somehow bring up the sales a bit . though this cafe is already pretty famous around here . maybe the bringing of a friend is to pledge some sort of loyalty within the employees ? for the employees to see more benefits since for the friend they bring the prices lowers ?

ah well . he couldn't tell . he just wishes to see you in that usual shop-uniform though . you always looked cute in it . though with now looking the most comfortable , maybe its for the better . "Y/NNNNNN ~ !"

the shouting of your name was indeed loud , but melodious nonetheless , you seem pleased with the welcoming gesture of pressing hugs as well . "Venti !" your take on his greeting is well , pathetic , but venti did not mind , simply snuggling more into you . oh how xiao wished he can do that too . "I missed you so much ! It's been real long !" he presses on and xiao was now busy wondering if the jealousy pent in his heart right now is because you're hugging his boyfriend , or because his boyfriend is hugging you .

"It really has been long ! I missed you too !!" you beam back , its been like , 2 months since the two of you got together after all . part of the reason why venti was real hyped to this bring a friend or more thing . which xiao felt totally not so jealous about , totally . venti pressing kisses on your cheeks which you just giggle at and in terms of giving back you just press your cheeks against his , xiao stared . if you were dating , could he do that too ? he shakes his head . fucker , venti's right there .

"Anywho , I'll take your orders . Which here do you two want ?" you seem to be planning to take the menu for them to pick but xiao got a hold of your shoulder again so to speak . feeling like your shoulders were the only place he's allowed to lay hands on . "I'll go ." he offers again , stealing a glance at venti who just excitedly puts up thumps ups . your e/c eyes bore into his ambers before you cease to a light grin and nod , "Mmkay , I'll pay for my share though ."

he'd like to pay for the three of you , but seeing venti just shrugging and doing those just shoo shoo and do as she says gestures , perhaps he should just let you pay this time .

the girl in clothes you usually wore , behind the counter , looked particularly flustered when he was the one to take order after the earlier guy . he bats no mind to the blushing or gushing of hearts and speech bubbles of kyakya !! he also just waits there by the other side since supposedly that's where you wait for your order .

he looks back and sees you and venti talking , your h/c hair drifting with its strands here to there . he wonder why some still fall off though you've got it tied already . he stares at the way you giggle , your eyes looking the most lively . you are the kind to mirror your companion at a certain degree after all .

he stares , now that he thinks about it , when did these sinful feelings start to explode in him . he couldn't really pinpoint when , or how . it just came about . like the dwindling sunlight outside , you just engulfed him like that . a feeling so sudden , a feeling he should have expected , a feeling so , so faltering . even he didn't get most of what he just thought . but it felt like that .

he's seen you a lot before though . a lot . one would think , venti was the bridge and he was forced to cross to get on good terms with you but it was the other way around . xiao was the one to have met you first , both taking unneeded but frequent classes . he always finds himself seated somewhere near you , and he never even intended to do as so back then . he's seen you so diligently listening into classes . he's received multiple pens he's dropped and you picked up . it came to a point where you probably noticed just how much he's observing you every class every other day . and that noticing led to you smiling and nodding to him , accommodating his existence . which he somehow felt fuzzy about .

he started talking to you after then , started going on about your notes , if he could borrow and copy them . if you'd like to meet venti , if you'd want to have lunch together , if you had classes after , what major you're taking , all those and for what ? because you were poking at his interest .

poking so unintentionally .

the poking pushed buttons , buttons that switched him from being the epitome of winter , to that of autumn , then somehow naturally shoving him to be one with spring . he doesn't speak much to anyone , not really finding the benefit of such trivial exhange of words . he believed that all the changes he's built were enough and all just for venti . but you came . and smashed such belief to millions of pieces he's struggling to find and put to one again .

he's not one to talk about things like , I've actually grown taller you know . to someone like you , who just looks at him surprised and laughs . he doesn't know but somehow letting you know about certain things concerning him felt natural . he liked to share his day's happenings , especially those days were you two couldn't get even a class in together .

he didn't think it was love .

considering his past with some friends , he thought he was finally receiving his luck with you . he enjoyed being with you , a friend . a good friend . someone he liked to protect , some he liked to be around with all the time ! but it was just a farce set up by his mind , and that farce soon fell down enough , "You like her ." it hurts that venti was the one that said that .

xiao felt like a part of his heart crumbled .

he liked you ? looking at it with that sense in mind maybe he did ? does that explain why he get the feeling of wanting to hug you ? of wanting to hold your hand ? of wanting to always be there for you ? of wanting to be the one owning the shoulder you cry and lean on ? is that why he felt so infuriated to see that all those , those are all scaramouche in one , for you ?

infuriated enough that he muttered about it to venti .

his boyfriend . his lover . his significant other . does that make him a piece of shit ? loving another ? do they need to break up now ? because he likes someone else ? but he still loves venti . he still loves him . he still do . he knew he shouldn't like you , he doesn't have a chance or even hope that you'd be able to feel the same anyway , and he was sure he loved venti more .

so he begged .

looking so regretful . knowing full well the thorns of his words . knowing full well the impact . knowing full well that pity could be a stronger feeling than pain . he still remembers how venti looked at him with a look so accepting , "Hm , I'll wait , yeah ?"

yet two years passed , and what he wished was just some infatuation blast , continued to persistently last .

it was an endless struggle of not knowing what is hurting him anymore . is it that you loved another and would never look at him that way ? or is it that he loved another despite the presence of his significant other for long half a decade ? venti never outright said it , even proposed something along the lines of forming a poly-relationship , all for supporting xiao with this transparent cheating , but he knew , somewhere along those wordings ,

venti was losing all those godly patience too .

running low , while his love for you continuously grow , he felt disgusting . disgusted and repulsed , at himself , at his feelings . for not having properly account it to what it is , for underestimating it . it wasn't supposed to be that hard to let you go .

seeing as he had the right heavy reasons to do so .

"How are you and Scaramouche doing ?" venti downright asks , the topic at hand was more interesting than all discussions going on this evening , interesting enough that it pulls xiao off of his though trail of thinking . it was getting too dark there anyway . "Same same ." your answer is always as doused with mundane as this so called special deluxe , worth fucking almost 250 mora and for what . maybe for the dandelion wine infused ganache drizzled over it . chocolate drippings he's been avoiding like the plague .

"Still not on the dating stage ?" he asks again , xiao continues to munch on the ice cream , he hopes someone creates almond tofu flavored cream iced and frozen too . maybe that'd taste liken shit , like he's feeling right now . "I heard he's just broken up with a girl from the Business Department ." that was a way to say , I can't possibly do anything right now . And it's obvious he wouldn't be advancing anytime soon either . which is just an assumption of a thought , really . but xiao has it canon-ized in his mind as he steal a glance at you sip your smoothie .

"How sad , it's surprising that you've invited us though . I thought you'd bring the wanderer and Scaramouche for sure ." unlike xiao is venti whom was scraping all of the custard ice cream for it's alcohol-contaminated parts . "Yeah , since they originally always hang out here . More than us too ." xiao contributes into prying more out of you . since you're like that .

it's either they shovel the 6 feet of soil for you to fish out at the presented coffin what they want to hear , or you just leave it to rot there and become fertilizer to then help grow your urge to keep everything under your deepest depths within .

"Scara is ," you weren't one to be particularly gentle , but you weren't at all that harsh , "Being a piece of shit right now so I didn't really feel like asking him for this favor , yeah , hm ." or maybe that's just one of xiao's canon-ized assumption right there , though he'd have the guts to actually bring up that isn't he already a piece of shit on a regular basis ?

he didn't at all have his guts steeled enough right now to actually be able to handle having your pretty self down drunk again and just by arm's length . he closes his eyes again and sighs . you continue chugging at one more huge glass , the numbing to you so quick that the burn on your throat probably wasn't even a thing to bother expressing or feeling anymore .

venti just had to invite you to the grand opening of the bar mentioned earlier . well , seeing how sad you looked earlier and how careless you look now , maybe it was for the better . still though , why does he have to be the one to watch over you . he's been doing his best to not spend more than 3 hours with you today but venti just had to—

he heaves in a breath now , and tugs at the tie of the uniform he wore . he would rather start blending mixes of cocktails right now than feel his innards sear along the scalding burning feeling in him . a bit more pull at his once thick rope of patience , and he'd really flip those innards of his out for you to see . maybe the idea that he's feeling like that would finally get you to consider a life with him .

it's not like he can do that . it's not like he can do anything . even when he's the one here with you right now , he knew you were thinking of someone else . how ? well , you've been mumbling about it since earlier , slurred whines and complaints becoming more and more dented in his brain with all the repeating .

he pushes down a hand of yours that plans to chug another mug , he's heard you speak of the foam looking rather tempting and yummy but no , he can't let your liver suffer any more . "I think that's enough , Y/n ." he says , also pushing aside the other mugs , some spilling .

"It , it's not ! I need more ! Why are you putting it , putting it away ! Gimme !" two years ago , you were a crying drunk . two years after , you're an angry drunk . brows furrowed and lips down on a displeased frown , he stared , your puffed cheeks , all red looking cute . "Any more and you'd pass out ." he says , and you scoff , "No , I won't ! Liar ! I drank like , like 105677 mugs . . . last year ! The fuck you mean pass out ?????"

if that was true then you wouldn't have just passed out you would've probably died on spot . he says nothing and just shows you a bottle of water . his stretched arm on your waist as you leaned down the huge brown table , pushing you back as you try to reach the mugs . "I no want that tastless shit ."

"I bet the beer doesn't taste like anything anymore to you too ."

"I want the burn !"

"Can you still feel the burn ?"

". . . No , but I bet I will , I will when I drink one more mug !" well , aren't you stubborn . "The more you drink , the more it blurs and numbs everything . Have some water and sober up . Let's get you home ." you finally take the bottle and jugged up the whole contents , how , cool .

"It's no good , Xiao ." you sulk , crushing the plastic of the bottle and straightening your arms to then fall into the table , your face stuck on the surface . he retreats his arm , "What is ?"

"I'm not forgetting , I want to , forget ." he hears you sniffing , crying again . he guessed that in the end , you fall into crying drunk after all . "That Scaramouche told you he doesn't care whichever or whoever it is you date ?"

"Hm , it's so , annoying ."

"Why ?"

"Because I like him ."

he knows . why'd he even ask . "Right , like him . You like him ." he wished the bitter in his tongue remained there and didn't at all slip itself out and covered the whole of his statement . "Why not tell him ?" since , he obviously likes you back . you shake your head , "He'll reject me ." he fucking won't . he settles down the way his breath clogged in on his throat , chains clamping at his heart , now also , heating up . "How about this ," you immediately look back at him , your cheek pressing at the table now , half-lidded eyes looking drowsy enough that he lost himself in them for a second . "You don't forget things when you get drunk right ? But it's also common that people forget things they do and say when they're not sober ."

no . stop . stop talking .

"Are you telling me to , confess to him ? Then if he rejects me I can just , act like I was just drunk and it was just a joke and I didn't even at all remember it even if by fact I do and with that method I can be free of the wonder that he might reject me ?" for a minute , he was sure you were sober , not drunk , not wasted , sober . he bites at the inner parts of his bottom lip . it bled , bled a lot . "Yeah ." this is for the better .

you slowly sat up properly . "Xiao , you so weird ."

you laugh lowly , "Very nice though ."

"You said that before too ."

he felt his heart shrink , his entire being falter , his inner sanity walking out , he heaves in a breath . "You said that before too ." he repeats . he remembers it well , the first time he confessed . the first time you joked to him with doubt as a sideline , the first time you looked like you wished he was just joking . he still remembers the way you rejected him , not saying that you liked anyone else , not at all mentioning anyone else , not trying to just push your way out of it through someone else .

you looked like you wanted to cry back then .

when you said that you didn't want him to like you . when you said that he shouldn't like you . when you said that he's wrong for liking you . but still told him that he was nice , that he was kind , that you liked being with him . but any more tha friends or pals , is not in your options or choices . because he had venti . and you aren't supposed to be the one receiving all that attention and affection .

he knew you'd say that . but he still hoped .

he hoped hard enough that even when you crushed it with your words and statements and attempts of leaving , he still couldn't let go . "You have Venti , Xiao ." there's no way you were drunk . he shakes his head , "He already was alright with the idea of us being a throuple , some poly relationship , he said he was—"

"You know he doesn't mean that ."

of course he does , of course , of course , but couldn't you just , "Sorry ." he mumbles , his head dropping down , his eyes falling to stare at the way his fists have clenched . you have always been like this , all calm and direct , the faltering you once showed just bringing alight another form of interest .

"There are , two . Two Xiaos . Man , can't see straight anymore . . ." you meant that , literally . the absence of the alcohol in your system coming back in your veins with tenfold impact , you jelly plop your head and whole weight back on the table . still supposedly facing him . he looks at you , "I bet ." he release a heavy breath , said air let out probably had all his feelings drenched along every molecule of it , he'd like it if that was actually happening .

but no , it wasn't .

it stays there , no matter what he does , no what he thinks he need to do . like how he stays there looking at you , he's got his hair all messy now from the many times he's been ruffling it . "Let's get you home ?" you huff , turning your head to the side . "Home , naur ." your slurring more evident now .

"Call . . . Scaraboobies !"

his eyes squint , his heart jitters , he loses it , but just breathes it out . "Can't you do it ?"

"Can't . See straight anymore ."

"Hand it over ."

and like a suddenly called on student from their day-time dozing off , you shuffle your whole entire outfit for said phone . hands it to him and he immediately goes to dial and phone him . the ringing almost sounded like the sand drizzling down the sand glass . he kept it in , just a bit more , maybe he wouldn't answer , maybe he can be the one to take you home .

the ringing stopped , and a few faint cussing and laughing was heard . xiao bites back a cuss . "Hey , uh , Scaramouche . Yeah it's , hm , us again ." he says , almost sounding too tired that anyone that hears him just heads on to patting his back , a good job to keep him going . "Xiao ? Why are you on Y/n's ," he pauses , realization hitting him . "She drank again ." xiao nods , "She drank again ." repeating his words , tone just a bit more sure , though somehow scaramouche sounded sure-r . "And I'm supposed to drive her home ."

xiao turns and sees you expectantly staring at him , silent and just looking . he turns back to the front , "She seem to want you to . But if you're busy ," he silences himself for a moment , to somehow indent the loud of the one on the other line's background . "I can do it ." scaramouche scoffs , a few clinking heard and the background noises diminishes with a bleep . "She most likely wishes you not to even dare ."

what confidence . not wanting to admit how right scaramouche is , xiao turns to look to you again and your head's already turned back to the other side . he clicks his tongue . "Right ."

"I'll be there in a bit . Don't touch her ."

it's not like he would . well , he could . scaramouche ends the call , which somehow pisses xiao off . how can he have the actual assurance that xiao wouldn't touch you—ah , he groans . pushing back his weight and leaning on the black couch ,

"Confess to him ."

"Is that an order ?"

"If it is would you do it ?"

"Nooope ."

you both keep silent for a while , since he says nothing more , which is rather unsettling , not for you but for him . you seem to have dozed off . he watches as quickly as it happened , how his putting of his coat that have already draped down your waist back up your shoulder blades , have been disregarded by it falling down naturally down the couch when he arrived . you were dazed , looking drunk , smelling drunk and sounding drunk , "Scara !" which the man of said name just scowls at . "Y/n ." and you beam at him , holding on his forearms as he held unto your elbows .

and xiao watches . heart aching , eyes wanting to wander away , stray the gaze yet he didn't . he's seen scenes far more worst , worst being more affectionate and loving looking . this much shouldn't hurt , but it did . way more too . he notices that you were about to be pulled away , like the first night , like all those time . now was the only time he had the courage to try and make you stay , the way he latched at your opened palm too sudden , his skin touching yours bringing shivers .

"Hn ?" you look to him and he sees that familiar glow in your eyes , shining bright , like tides so high , since her moon has come . he wince at the revelation , hand clutched , not wanting to let go . but maybe it's in those eyes of yours , e/c and doe , a lot different from the dead dull looking ones , your pair seemingly glossed . reflecting his stature . reflecting his pleading eyes of amber . ah , he has to let go .

"You don't wanna go home ?" scaramouche aids , and your drunken eyes shift , the confusion's drip faltering and there it was again . that gaze , so comforting . "I'll get going now , Xiao . Thanks for today ." he would mistake you sober , if it weren't for the way you sway back your legs and wave your hands at him , as scaramouche finally pulls you out of that secluded area , into the crowd , and away from him . away from xiao .

he watches , the partying swarm you disappeared in .

SCARA-LiNE ! / WORK NAVi ! 7k ampota (;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

falling in love with you , the sweetest sin he's ever committed . he doesn't regret it , as wrong as it is . he's glad it was you . it's hard , knowing that since the beginning , he had no chance , really , none . he could be everything you want him to be , the kind of guy that would bend himself for your own wishes and conveniences , would you love you for all your worth .

he would do everything , anything , whatever there is to do . however he can , whenever he can . he'd give you everything , offer you all things , there was nothing he couldn't give , nothing he's lacking . all that , he was willing to sacrifice just for you to give him a chance . but he knew ,

the moment your eyes first glistened with tears right in front of him , the moment your e/c's shone in a manner that ached at his heart and slowed its beating . he figured , that even if by chance he was capable of saving you from an ending world , you'd just give him that same look , and choose to meet an end with someone else .

perhaps this was one of the reasons why he's fallen for you . for being so capable of a love so stubborn , a love so persistent , a love that wouldn't give up no matter the preface or epilogue . perhaps he wanted to be at the receiving end of that .

he shuts his eyes close . if by chance you and that lucky guy still aren't a thing by the end of this day , he'll really consider being a bit more forceful .

"Would that also mean you'd finally let her go if they do end up dating by the next time we hear from them ?" venti can't read minds , xiao just mumbled the last part out unconsciously . golden eyes dim at the thought , glass being wiped almost cracking but he heaves a breath out . trying to calm himself , some part of himself at least .

"Hm ." he'll try . for you . for him too .

maybe this was his karma , for falling in love again while being in a relationship . for not wanting to let any of the two go . for persistently being selfish . for being so head-strong . he really , should've thought things through before he associated anything he felt for you with such heavy phrase like , i love you .

#x female reader #x fem!reader #genshin impact #genshin x reader #polarmystique!scaraseries!#genshin scaramouche #scaramouchexreader #scara x reader #xiao #scaramouche

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