#ooc ;| turns out I'm 100% that bitch |

[noprodigalson]

I can't believe I still remember my log in info. Anyways. Not dead. Still in the frozen north of Alaska. Still suffering with the trails of life and all the bullshit it keeps throwing at me. Also still causing problems for the general public. Why they let me go out unsupervised, I have no idea.

[who1ssheesh]

NSFW Xanxus with s/o? 👀

Xanxus NSFW Headcanons

Warnings: seks and swearing; fem!reader; huge OOC; 100% wrong grammar, english still is not my native (it will be one day is this how it works idk); no beta we die like tyl tsuna

Note: tbh, this is really short since I'm still holding back my filthiest thoughts?? The add-on section with sub Xus can be NOT considered serious but those make me raaaaaaaaaawrrr aooga

• Fucking horndog end of the story leave lieks uwu

• No really, he riles up in a second and in the most inconvenient situations. And if you don’t give him what he wants, Xanxus will be very broody for the whole day. Good luck, you will need one ngl

• Xanxus obviously likes (LOOVES) seeing you in revealing tight clothes, this bitch will drop stuff on purpose just to see your bottom if you're wearing a short skirt that day. He will not hide it, man will just be sitting with the nastiest smile, and you know you have to get that thing up since he won’t

• More of a thighs and ass type tbh. Any breast is good if he can see a nice cleavage.

• I really imagine Xanxus as a big juicy man despite Amano’a art style. His thighs worth dying between, his tiddies look heavy I can hold them bb. And I think he also enjoyed someone not really slim? He loves something to GRAB

• Not even in a sexual way. He will always grab your ass even around people and he can't even give you a coherent answer why. He just stares zero brain head empty - he can't admit out loud he loves your body, what a loser

• HUGE size kink. The nastiest, craziest size kink, he is going to be feral with a small s/o like he really means to snap them in half

• Also has a big dick, so……..can’t complain

• Choke him. Never in your life you can even choke him a little bit, but Xanxus appreciates the effort. Your both fragile feminine hands cannot do anything against him and even grab his neck fully, and that feeling of power over you gets him going.

• Then you feel his hot touch around your throat. He is going to show you how it is done

• Enjoys the fight. Someone too obedient is not his type at all, he gets bored quickly, he loves his girlie to has temperament. Scratch him, grab him, bite him and never hold back. Xanxus enjoys smell of blood, seeing your marks all over him after

• Touch. His. Scars. I’m sorry for involving feelings, but he will like it

• You can never dumbfound him with love-bombing btw. Unlike SOMEONE ahemsqualoahem

“I-i love you”

“Yeah, who doesn’t”

But he still thinks that’s lame and kills the mood

• Yes to power play but GOD FUCK NO WHAT ARE YOU DOING GET THE FUCK OUT YOU FREAK to Daddy kink. He has too much going on with parents and has big issues, especially with fathers. But props to being the first person Xanxus calls a freak

• Get on your knees for him and he’s so WEAK

• Speaking of weak. Xanxus thinks too much with his dick, and you won’t have much problem convincing him about something through a good blowjob (or sex in general). He knows your trick but doesn’t mind, since he’s had a good time, nay? Though sometimes he’ll fuck around and just go away “well, bye now”

• Corruption kink and no one will convince me otherwise. Having a confident skilled woman is good. But how about the most stoic, morally right woman turned into the filthiest nastiest whore just for him? Bonus point if she's a virgin, something clicking in his head. Xanxus enjoys the fact he's one and only or at least, if you break up, he's still your first and no other man will satisfy you she same way (those are his words, not mine)

• Such a dirty talker. But usually Xanxus tries to get an answer from you and just laughs and your fucked-out pathetic state. He won't stop until your eyes are glossy and absolutely empty, his dick is the only thing on your mind.

• Xanxus is shameless but still gets really angry when you two get caught. HOT TAKE. It's not about him btw, he doesn't give a shit about being seen with some one-night-stand but YOU as his partner are different. He wants people hear you and know how good he's making you feel, he wants then to see how hot, awesome, smart, pretty, confident you are BUT! Xanxus is the only one who sees you in the nastiest, most vulnerable state.

• Hot take again - he's not against eating you out. First - being between juicy thick thighs worth dying for, second - he again turns it into a dominating moment, where HE decides if you're having an orgasm.

Secret-secret headcanons I myself BELIEVE

• Sit on his face. Xanxus will act like a bitch but in the end you will notice he likes it WAY too much and even has some shade of pink on his cheeks

• Just try to dominate him in general. Use the same dirty words he uses for you, don't be scared to insult him. You both are too fucked up and horny at this moment anyways, Xanxus' brain won't even comprehend what you are telling him and that actually he's supposed to get angry

• Xanxus didn't know this is his kink - a beast being tamed, huh?

• After the first time this idiot didn't even talk to you, trying to process what the hell happened. But seeing you the same as always, still treating him as a big smart boss, and that's what everyone believes, makes him hard instantly.

• Xanxus doesn't like sex toys at all (he can make you see stars without any help) but JUST MAYBE that's the first time you get whips? Question mark?

• Nah, he won't just become suddenly submissive, that's not the point. He will insult you, bite you, scratch, choke you, fight against you. If you can't handle him, you don't deserve him in this state, okay?

[https-furina]

KAEYA + 19 PLS 🥹🥹🥹🥹 CONGRATS AGAIN <3

✎ nothing else matters.

ft. kaeya x gn!reader

prompt: "when i'm with you, nothing else matters."

w.c. 666 words

content: fluff, confessions !!, kaeya is 100% ooc my bad, maybe it's a little too sweet, reader is a little dubious, mentions of alcohol, one curse word

notes: shshshfjfff thank u (again) my lovely <3 mwah i hope i didn't butcher kaeya too badly! THE WORD COUNT WASN’T INTENTIONAL I’M SCREAMING AHAHAHA

considering your role at the knights of favonius is nothing to do with the cavalry captain, you spend a lot of time with him; whether you're out dealing with commissions together or you're simply hanging out with him out of work hours - don't question, he roped you into joining him at the tavern one night regardless of whether you drink or not. you spent majority of that night gossiping with master diluc about the blue haired male as if he wasn't right beside you. ever since kaeya likes to call you inseparable, joined at the hip if you will. you like to joke that he has you trapped but you heavily enjoy his company, so much that you drown in the blue of his eyes every time you get a moment.

kaeya doesn't admit it to no one but he rather spend time with you than do his job. it becomes apparent when kaeya begrudgingly has you in his office at the end of the day, the sun beginning to set on mondstadt as you reprimand his piles of paperwork littered across the mahogany desk.

"you really need to stop procrastinating paperwork like this, alberich," you sigh in what sounds like disappointment, fingers flicking through some extremely outdated papers, "jean is going to have your head soon - hey! this is the book lisa keeps bitching is overdue…"

kaeya chuckles as you sift through the papers, he's not helping in the slightest but in all honesty the situation overwhelmed him a little which was why he called upon you in the first place. there was that reason and there was also the way the sun painted you in a golden glow as it filtered through the large glass window in his office, setting behind starsnatch cliff in the distance. kaeya was soaking in every second of your beauty, from the way your eyes glitter like rare gems and the way the sun kisses your skin in hues of oranges and pinks.

"stop staring, alberich and help me with your paperwork." there's heat in your cheeks from the blood rushing and your ears feel warm under his longing gaze.

"why should i do it when there's so much more important things?" kaeya hums, chuckling slightly at the stern glare you send him with sharp eyes. it doesn't convince him to move in the faintest from where he's stood to your left.

"what in teyvat could be more important than all these confidential papers? like this one, it's about klee-" you shake your head, pausing your complaining as you continue to work on organising his mess. kaeya swallows a lump in his throat, suddenly closer to you as he lingers to debate helping.

"well, when i'm with you, nothing else matters." kaeya mumbles, hovering next to your ear as he leans past you to grab the sheet regarding klee you had mentioned. the room is suddenly spinning and you're staring out the office window in confusion.

"you didn't mean that," you scoff, shaking your head once more as you try to shrug his words off but they echo in your head, "that bard hasn't sneaked you wine, has he?"

kaeya doesn't respond, leaving you to slowly turn and look at him. there's a thought hanging in his head as he meets eyes with yours. your eyes are glittering momentarily - no longer from the sun but from a sharp sting of tears threatening to spill at the situation kaeya has thrown into the air. he pauses, considering if he should be doing this - it doesn't count as work hours anymore, jean can't have him for this, he thinks as he leans down to press his lips to yours.

you're soft, the taste of sunsettias is lingering on your lips - kaeya knows your routine well enough to know you had a sunsettia before you came to his office. you're addictive but he finds it in him to pull away with a smug grin on his face, "do i mean it now?"

© https-heizou 2023.

[mintteapullet]

Just finished The World that Stood Against Us (Made Us Mean, to Fight for You) it was fantastic.

Love literally everyone else immediately understanding the danger of Yuuji getting hurt even has Yuuji doesn’t understand beyond that he’s bleeding and was pushed because he’s a child and one of the other people in the world who will never have anything to fear from Gojo is so good.

“Yuuji, because he's a pup and doesn't know the beast who sits in his mother's skin, turns, and upon seeing Gojo-Sensei begins to openly weep.” << Obsessed with this line

Feral Omega Gojo is a gift. Love Megumi sweating bullets along with everyone else even though he’s the safest after the twins. Also someone get Ijichi a raise that man deserves one before his heart gives out from all the stress Gojo causes him.

Megumi getting angry about Todo calling himself Yuuji’s brother is also so good, that’s his little brother how dare you put yourself on his level. Calling him a suck up, Megumi being bitter about it I love it.

Also Yuuji being completely oblivious to the danger everyone else is in >>> only second to feral omega Gojo tbh.

Megumi over exaggerating and stepping in so no one starts that back up is so clever. His pride may never recover but it probably saved someone’s life considering how easily Gojo could be set off again if he hadn’t stepped in. They should all thank him. Not me though I was hoping Gojo was gonna spill blood. But the rest of them should.

Nobara hiding behind Maki is so sweet, Maki is her favorite and she’s not subtle about it nor should she be. Also please let Yuuji get his steak!

Love the Second years, Megumi, Gojo, and the twins hanging out. Gojo shielding the twins with Infinity after also goes hard. Of course he is one of his babies got hurt, he’s being overprotective but also it’s Gojo and that should be expected. Also there’s no way Megumi didn’t also have Infinity on him right? Your his pup too dude no way he’s not keeping Infinity on all three of you. Gojo teasing Megumi is also so good.

Loved this very much but I am left with one question: Who pushed Yuuji?

Ah!!!! Thank you so much!

Exactly! Yuuji is just a little kid, so any understanding of the world is gonna be centered around "I'm hurting and I want it to stop". He has no understanding that everyone else would have a reason to fear Gojo. His mother has never been a threat to him, so it isn't even a option

Im not even gonna lie, it was my favorite line to write. I love it when parents go from 0 to 100.

Im terms of Gojo's priorities it's basically categorized at the moment as "My pups and students" and then "everyone else". Tsk-tsk, Megumi should know better than to be even worried about his own safety. The twins and him are the ones who have zero chance of getting a scratch.

Megumi is such a bitter bitch (this isn't a drag against his character, I love that about him) and is still bitter about getting his ass kicked. And calling Todo a suck up was another favorite of mine to write. Megumi, while he tries to keep his distance, definitely gets a lot more privileges than he even realizes when it comes to Gojo

Even better when they go hand in hand. I needed more feral omegas who'll rip oit throats for their babies, and I suppose be the change you wanna see, lol

Maki is basically the coolest person in the universe to Nobara (and yes, Megumi was bitter about losing his little sister's admiration to his upper classmate). I like to think to satisfy both pups Gojo took them to some restaurant that served both

The second years are pretty used to their teacher and the pups, so this is probably a common occurrence. Gojo is very much a overprotective parent, but in his defense, assassination attempts on heirs are common as HELL and he's pretty shaken up from earlier. Usually his presence alone is enough to deter threats. I'm glad that Gojo teasing Megumi was enjoyable, I was a little worried it mightve been ooc and that I pushed it a little too far. It was fun to write though, especially Gojo complaining about what a grump Megumi had become.

I actually hadn't thought about who was the one to push Yuuji, cause I didn't want anyone maimed (though, Mai or Noritoshi would probably be a no, considering their involvement with other clans would immediately be taken as hostile action)

[sugar-glaze-donut]

HI HI IT'S ME AGAIN!! hope you don't mind me sliding into your asks again. :D

continuing the topic of touch-starved butlers... what do you think would happen if aruji-sama was VERY affectionate? like, they wouldn't even mind publicly hug their butlers or hold hands with them. (probably flustering the hell out of them)

OR EVEN BETTER IF IT'S PRIVATE. like god. like imagine. private cuddle sessions before you doze off to sleep. or unplanned hugs from the back while they're doing something.

MHMHMGMMF KISSING THEM GOODNIGHT>>>

they deserve all of the kisses and hugs. you can't argue with me.

anyways!!! may you have a great day!! love you!! (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡

OMG A RETURNING ANON!?!? I HAVE BEEN GRACED BY YOUR PRESENCE ONCE AGAIN :D

ofc I don't mind getting another ask! Fuck school, I have an anon request to write!

TW: OOC butlers

Aruji-sama being very affectionate in public and private is 100% just like me! (I just have to restrain myself to not touch people too much or they’ll get annoyed :,) )

~👒-💐-In Public-🐾-📚~

Just imagine giving the butlers head pats out of nowhere and holding their hand while in public! Cuties like Lamli, Lono, and Lato will definitely lean into your touch and squeeze your hand too.

Flure might flinch and pout at you saying it's really embarrassing (but he doesn't want you to let go of his hand 🥺)

Some other cuties like Fennesz and Berrien are exploding with blush. Their reactions are so cute! “wh- ah!? Aruji-sama is holding my hand!!???!!?!??1!???” I bet they’ll be covering their face and struggling to keep their composure 💕

And our usually bold Ammon might blush from all the attention they're getting from you. He might even avert his gaze away from you when you turn to look at him. Lmao who’s blushing now~ >:)

Overall public the butlers wouldn't be that affectionate, considering how they have to keep the "butler and master" role thing in check.

~💌-🏰-Private-🍰-🥀~

Oh yes, I did go crazy when writing this. You can't blame me though, GIVING THE BUTLERS KISSES SFKJBSKJFBKEJSNBFOJN

Giving the butlers head pats and hugs after their training HNNGGGGG--

Aruji-sama: Good job today (｡･∀･)ﾉ(._. `) The butlers: (.////. `)

And giving your main butler the ✨special treatment✨ (CUDDLES AND KISSES)

Hugging them behind their back when they least expect it... oh my god anon... what have you done to me? Like, after a long and tiring day... You just want to cuddle with your favourite butler, inhaling their scent... ok I sound like an absolute creep here (sorry 😨) But it'll be funny seeing their reaction. For example, Fennesz, Berrien, Flure, or any of the shy butlers: SFBHGDLHBSHLHDHF *internal screeching*

Butlers made for cuddling 101: - Lamli and Lato: Snuggles into your arms. They're like little puppies! - Flure: Smol and just right for cuddling (depends on your height? I'm taller than him so I'll write it in a tall Aruji-sama perspective). You can braid your hair while cuddling. Smells really nice- *bonked* - Hanamaru and Haures: Older brother material here folks. Smells sweet like the pastries they eat *gets bonked again*

And kissing them! Kissing their hands, their scars, to even the devil's contract crest on them too! (But for characters like Lono... you're not going to kiss the place where his crest is right...? Right...!???) I know this is really mean, but these men have gotten no bitches (except for Lucas but let's ignore that) *VINE BOOM*, no maidens *VINE BOOM*, and no lovers too 😞 *VINE BOOMS* But YOU! Yes, YOU! YOU CAN BE THE ONE TO GIVE THESE MENTALLY UNSTABLE MEN AFFECTION!!!

You don't even need to hold back! Are there weird townsfolk here to make fun of us? No! Are there snobby nobles here to judge us? No!! Are there any angels here to disturb our time? NO!!!

PAMPER THEM WITH AFFECTION!!! GIVE THEM KIND AND REASSURING WORDS!!!! JUST DO ANYTHING TO MAKE THEM HAPPY AND RELAXED!!!!!

COMFORT THE ONES WHO GOT DEMONISED! HAVE A SLEEPOVER WITH THEM AND CUDDLE THEM TO SLEEP

FBHBFEHDJHREDSJKXCNBVFHD

(dear anon... I'm not the same person I was before I wrote this fic... what have you done to me... /hj)

[vaicomcas]

Expendable from beginning to end

This is just a rehash of bitter Cas feelings that's already been discussed, but I can't help it after reading this 5x21 dialog. It's unreal if you really think about the situation.

CASTIEL: Dean? DEAN: Cas? DEAN: We all thought you were Dead. Where the hell are you, man? CASTIEL: A hospital. DEAN: Are you okay? CASTIEL: No. DEAN: You want to elaborate? CASTIEL: I just woke up here. The doctors were fairly surprised. They thought I was brain-dead. DEAN: S-so, a hospital? CASTIEL: Apparently, after Van Nuys, I suddenly appeared, bloody and unconscious, on a shrimping boat off Delacroix. I'm told it upset the sailors. DEAN: Uh, well, I got to tell you, man -- You're just in time. We figured out a way to pop Satan's box. CASTIEL: How? DEAN It's a long story, but, look --we're going after Pestilence now. So if you want to zap over here...

@lerry-hazel pointed out in a comment: "they cheerfully went with "I guess Cas is dead" instead of trying to figure out if he needs help - even though they had no reason to believe an angel can die from banishing sigil."

Yeah... If they all truly believed Cas was dead, it was pretty callous that they didn't express any sadness about his death in any way in 5x19 or 5x20 (funny though, how it would then parallel 15x19 and 15x20).

What's more, Dean banished Castiel in 5x18. If he believed angels could die from banishment, that means he meant to kill Cas just to get his way (or at least OK with the possibility).

However, and not because that would be OOC of him, I don't believe that Dean really thought Castiel was dead. It was a convenient lie the three humans told each other to justify not giving a damn about Castiel's life.

Then, when Castiel turned up alive, there was not a hint of relief, just hostility. "We all thought you were Dead. Where the hell are you, man?"

Wouldn't the normal (decent) reaction be, "We all thought you were Dead. Glad you are not, man."

No. Dean was angry that Castiel had the audacity to be alive yet not at his beck and call.

Then Castiel explained that he was basically "brain dead" since Van Nuys. Dean did not even say one word to acknowledge what Cas went through. Cas woke up "just in time" to be ordered around by Dean.

Castiel was gravely injured, comatose, powerless, stranded (from helping his friends); the sailors were upset, the doctors were surprised, but these "friends" had zero reaction to any of it.

They had less than zero reaction to it. They demanded that he immediately get out of his hospital bed and help them half way across the country. Once he did that, and saved their lives and their cause yet again, Bobby berated him for being sad over losing his powers. "Are you really going to bitch, to me? Quit pining for varsity years, load the damn truck".

We sometimes say the Winchesters used Castiel as a tool. But people show more concern and care even for their tools. Castiel didn't need to wait till season 11 for Ambriel to declare him as "expendable", or till season 15 for Belphegor to point out the same; if this scene isn't proof of that I don't know what is.

--------------------------

Bonus 100% unnecessary footnote: How long was Castiel comatose for (from end of 5x18 to here, beginning of 5x21)?

I estimated 1-3 weeks. Castiel had been unconscious for 1-3 weeks.

I mapped the locations of each episode between Van Nuys and this moment: southern CA; Munice Indiana; western Nevada; sioux falls Indiana. If they drove without stopping it would take 80 hours. Considering they would need to stop even assuming they took turns driving, and also had to do a lot of things in the plot like staying a night in a hotel with all the gods of other religions and killing some of them, I very conservatively doubled the time to 160 hours, about 1 week.

If we go with episode airing dates then it's been about 3 weeks.

[blakbonnet]

8, 9 and 14 for the ask game cause I'm curious what you think

/rubbing my hands like I'm a fly

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

The back and forth about Izzy as if he matters 💀 this isn't izzy hate, hear me out

when I watched the show for the first time, I came out of it not really thinking *anything* tangible about him. I took him as just another antagonist - a badminton or a CJ or any one of those fuckers, but largely, just not someone I'd ever spend hours thinking about in general lol? He was a mean antagonist played up for laughs to me but a side character 100% who doesn't really have enough meat to him to actually deserve the million dollar discussions and fights and 💾 🐎 we spend on him ✌️

Don't get me wrong, I 100% understand why people do it, but I also think that both the people who hate him and love him (for a variety of reasons) tend to forget that he's not really the main character??! And that's why most of his meta ends up falling flat. He can't do xyz and he can't be xyz because he just isn't important enough 🤷🏽‍♀️

He's an incredibly interesting character (to some) and I hope they do good by him and his fans ✌️

9. worst part of canon

My god, the CJ "big gal" comment, like I physically cant watch it without wanting to throw up a little and the gay little jock jump Ed does afterwards 🥲 I know why they put it in, doesn't mean I'll ever warm up to it. The other is the "ooh daddy" which makes literally no sense and seems so ooc to me lmao, and just NO‼️

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

Stede getting all his bitchy edges sanded off, my beloathed!! See, Stede is such a complicated and often asinine character and that's what makes him so incredibly lovable too! Being a bitch is a part of that boy's personality, he can't hold that in and people shouldn't separate them! And that's why Ed loves him too (one of the reasons anyway). I see it everywhere, Stede turning into a saint who hasn't said a bad thing in his life, and while it's appropriate in certain settings, it's sorta like reading a mewling izzy lmao - just doesn't work for me 🤷🏽‍♀️

[loyaltyworn]

there's so many dibs that the world need to invent a new word for it!!!! a crapload of dibs from me to you, dixon. good luck getting rid of me at this point, ok?

@gcroinya || shameless dibs if you’re attached! gimme some love! || accepting!

// ha ha! joke’s on you. cause you are stuck with me like a bad fungus. i’ma cling on and if you get rid of me.. i’m coming right back! so.. there!

[eldritch-spouse]

Hey friend! sorry if ill be ask spamming your blog but I recently fell in love with your universe and I feel like we were born under the same star. But wit that out of the way... here it goes

Some new strange phenomena have been sweeping the clergy

The Admin is popular with regular clients! Some have even tried to request some personal services. Admin has had enough! She's also sick of trying to act kind while she refuses the clients.

She had an idea though! She could take advantage of her recent popularity and gain the Clergy an extra buck or two. With the help of Patches, the admin released a life-like chibi doll to sell to customers for a limited time only! The price might be a little high, but plenty of customers are still willing to buy. (Is this OOC? Maybe, but I had so much fun with the idea so roll with it please)

I also thought it would be funny if the plushie had a little butt when you removed her dress, like this. With the adorable stiched eye staring at them, the staff couldn't resist! But what exactly do the staff do with their admin doll? (descriptions and NSFW welcome)

[I wasn't born under a star, I'm pretty sure some forest fiend thing laid an egg on my mom's doorstep and she just rolled with it. :)) That's a cute interpretation of her btw.]

I like the idea of a little merch line being started, though it decidedly has to be a little OOC, because Krulu probably wouldn't agree with such childish depictions of his host. Symbolism and imagery are important to siadar, an offensive or disrespectful (even if unintentionally so) illustration can register as an attack.

Some of the staff would be normal about this, emphasis on would be, if the doll didn't somehow smell like you. How did Patches achieve this? Irrelevant, the bigger question is why the pervert thought that would be a good idea...

Morell is decidedly less creepy about it. He'd keep the doll in one of his pockets or his scarf, giving it a squeeze every now and then. You might catch him cooing to it on occasion. If anyone catches him doing this, the shroom will die of shame.

Gallon actually keeps the doll on one of the higher shelves of his bar, maybe the glass rack that hangs from the ceiling. That way, almost no one can reach it. He feels like you're watching over him while he works.

Patches feels mildly gross about it, but he'll hold the doll up to his face when he's trying to get off while thinking of you. It's just comforting, he can almost pretend you're around him, holding him maybe. Hey, at least the doll stays clean.

Vinnel is customizing it. That's his thing. He's going to make a little jester suit for it, and get a little nose, maybe paint her face. It'll be the cutest one by far. Of course, he'll show it to you in hopes that maybe you'd enjoy actually dressing that way.

Santi (I'm sorry, I can only think of this lmao.)

Grimbly would love it if there was a pinker version, but beggars can't be choosers, right? He's going to hold mini you to his chest when he comes home from long shifts, get in his plush nest and rant about how the day sucked and you should be dating him by now.

No one knows Nebul has one until they see him running after Purpur, who is constantly stealing Admin dolly away to play with. It's kept in an elegant glass case nowadays, spotless.

Belo loves it to pieces, it's probably full of his fur. He keeps it in his room and nuzzles it whenever he can. The angel once was depraved enough to jerk off over it, immediately washed it and didn't touch the doll for a week in total mortification.

Fank-e is not thwarted by the price. He can buy one and find a way to ship himself like 100 3D prints! Hah, checkmate bitch. His doll is covered in stickers and weird stains. It feels mildly radioactive.

Sybastian's poor doll is drooled to not end. It smells like you, so he can't help licking it, which in turn becomes a masturbatory motion because mimic tongues are highly sensitive. So, in the end, you're likely to see him jerking off with the plush in his mouth.

[noprodigalson]

I swear I'm a serious line cook. Also I had to move into a new apartment so that was stressful. Still alive though. Miss you guys.

[ein-liebloser-wanderer]

Yandere Abnormalities — Punishing Bird Snippet

(A Yandere AU of Lobotomy Corporation. If you don't like OOCs and fanon, discretion is advised.)

I decided to write this down since it has been nagging me for the past few days and college is a bitch that won't let me write anything else.

This bird could kill all my agents in the game, and I will never stop loving it.

Warnings: Slight gore and blood

Word Count: 1 100+

Adorable. Just absolutely adorable.

When you first saw him, you just had this irresistible urge to pinch him, hug him, pet his head, and run your fingers through his baby blue hair. But of course, you didn't since that was a sure way to get killed by any Abnormality.

The first time you were ordered to work on him, it was for Attachment. You didn't mind since who could deny such an adorable little guy? From what you could tell, he was barely taller than your chin! If it wasn't obvious, you were more than happy to be with him!

Sure, he mostly just glared at you (if he wasn't outright ignoring you). But how could you hate him for that when his own sulking looked cute?

Without a single bit of shame, you said that to his face, and much to your amusement, his cheeks only puffed up even more, growing pinker by the second!

Was this Abnormality even capable of looking intimidating?

After that, you haven't been called to work on Small Bird, but it's not like you had to. He often breached his containment unit, and by now, hardly anyone batted an eye when warnings set off because of him.

But unfortunately for you, that meant he was bothering you more often. Initially, it was thought that he breached only whenever an agent panicked, so when others saw the tiny bird pecking away at your forehead, everyone immediately ran to suppress you.

As much of a pain in the ass as it was to deal with the countless bruises you received, it wasn't entirely bad since you finally saw him in his avian form So, that's why you're called Small Bird, you mused.

You had always known that the boy wasn't sweet. Far from it, really. But you didn't expect him to be mischievous. Like a corvid, he would steal your food, sometimes even your personal belongings, just so he could hoard all of them in his little perch.

When he told you that you would have to climb up to get your things back, he just smirked at your irritation.

He knew that there was no way that perch would be able to hold your weight. And if you were to break it? Well, would you really risk angering him? You may find him irresistible to hug, but that will never make you forget that he's a TETH class Abnormality.

And much to your detriment, your fear of him only ensured that he would keep causing mischief around you since there would be no consequence. It was made even worse by the fact that his amusement at your suffering produced more PE boxes than usual, so there was no way the facility would help you with this one.

When you both walked across one another, the look of exasperation was instinctual. Before you even realized it, you were groaning at the sight of him. Naturally, that only delighted the avian even more.

"Sucks when I'm the one annoying you, isn't it?"

Your eyes widened. Was that really the reason why he kept breaching his containment unit? You ruined his day, so now, he is hellbent on ruining every single day for you?

But then, the time came that Small Bird breached for a good reason. It was one of the agents. They had gone on a murderous rampage after a particularly bad work with one of the Abnormalities.

You were one of the agents sent to suppress them, and unsurprisingly, Small Bird had come along to help. But then, things got out of hand, and you wound up being thrown to the floor so hard, you had whiplash.

That was when Small Bird's eyes began to turn red.

You were equipped with the right weapon for this, but why couldn't you bring the agent back to sanity? It was as if every hit you made only hurt them rather than help. But you weren't going to give up. Enough people die everyday as it is, and you weren't going to let this one go.

Then, you saw their eyes light up again, the fog vanishing as they began to regain consciousness. "Wh-what? I..."

They looked as though they were on the verge of tears. Remorse and self-hatred, two emotions that had overwhelmed them to the point of breaking down.

"I'm sorry!"

You kneeled down on the floor beside them, crying as well. "It's okay. It's going to be okay." Was it, really?

You two stayed like that for a while, with the other agents joining in to form a sort of support group. Together, you all huddled together, hugging and sharing comforting words. Someone was even clever enough to be humorous about the situation.

But the heartfelt moment had to end.

One of the agents was flung to the wall, away from the agent you had just saved. Your entire body went into overdrive, and before you could even understand what was fully happening, you were hurrying to pull the agent away from danger. Away from anything that could hurt them again.

Too late.

One moment, the agent was just standing there, eyes still wide from shock as she looked at the man who had been flung to the wall. Next, they were gone.

You could only stare, shell-shocked, as her body was torn to shreds. His mandibles and neck had split open to accommodate such a large bite, revealing the several jagged teeth that lined his throat, his mouth, and even his tongue.

The other agents could only watch in terror as they watched the boy, the one they had all considered too cute, too soft to be any real threat, tear their friend apart, eat them from limb to limb until nothing was left.

When he finished, he began to walk towards—

You crawled back, trying to get as much distance between you and him. But your legs were too shaky to stand on. You could only cry as you watched him tower over you.

His mouth—if that could even be called a mouth—was now closed. Now, he looked just like he did before. Adorable, harmless, with pink lips that couldn't hurt anyone.

He crouched down before you. Like this, you could see it clearer. The little bits of flesh and sinew that had fallen from his mouth onto his blue-feathered sweater when he was eating.

"Aren't you being too lenient, [Name]?" He tilted his head slightly to the right, the way he often did as a little bird whenever he watched you do something. "They didn't deserve your mercy."

"You...you killed them," you said, too mortified to say anything else.

"I did."

A wide smile contorted his face. For a moment, you thought that thing was going to open again, but no. All it revealed were sharp red teeth, your deceased colleague's flesh stuck between them.

"Now that they are punished, they could never hurt you ever again."

'Blood Feather' by Jeremiah McAdams

'Strands of a Feather' by Artem Podrez

[tabithahallows]

I'm bored so imma rant about my hp o.c and no one can stop me :)

Meet my salty snake child Val (aka, Valentine Lestrange) (aka Valentine Elladora Druella Lestrange) (aka that %100 that bitch) She is the star of an ongoing fic of mine beware of spoilers (TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of abuse and violence)

If the name didn't give it away, she's only child of them crazy mofos Bellatrix and Rodolphus

Yes I am aware that it's kind of an overdone trope but it's overdone cause it's awesome (also I made her when I was like 13 so shut up)

Lives with the Malfoy's cause her rents are rotting in a cell duh

When she was 8 Dumbledore randomly appeared in her garden and was like to wanna buy some drugs join my evil snake man killing and Chosen One protection team cause you're such a badass and she was like lol ye okay and it shapes the entire plot

It's a secret so Val has to act like a crazy sadistic blood purist but sike it's all an act. She just keeps up the appearance so one can guess she's actually just tryna protect Harry all the time cause plot and she's actually rlly good at it btw (all the fun of a villain while still being a good person)

Her besties are her shitty cus Draco, life long irritation Leah Lovat (o.c), sweetie angel child whom they all love and protect Olivia Benson (o.c), basic but charming ass kid Liam Highcourt (o.c) and Blaze Zambini yea you read that right I don't spell his name correctly it's a long story (cannon honestly written so ooc that it doesn't matter at this point)

They are all basically nuts. Just overdramatic twats with questionable upbringing's. They are all trash but you will love them. You have no choice

Val is a genius, like a for real prodigy type deal in both academics, magically ability and wit. Legit %89 percent of the stuff that comes out of her mouth is just sarcasm

She only wears black cause she's a melodramatic dumbass but would never admit it

She's also scary af. Has half the school traumatized within a week

Sinnamon roll™

What's shorter? Her or her patience? We will never know

Actually has morals and doesn't agree with her fams purist views

Has the best dynamic with Snapey Kins from a writers point of view. He knows that she's involved with Dumbledores Plan™ and before you freak there is NO romantic/sexual relationship between Val and Snape (it's legit just a slow burn friendship that neither of them wants to admit to)

Val and Snape openly hate each other's guts and can't be in the same immediate area without screaming at each other. He's petty and she's vindictive so shit hits the fan often and quickly. They're basically just as bad as each other when you really get down to it. Val pretty much tells Snape that he's a useless bitch (paraphrasing) on the first day of class and the rest is history

Everyone gets used to it super quick and just lets them go for it because it's not worth getting caught in the crossfire. Dumbledore finds it amusing but only for the first couple of years cause come one guys can you stop screaming we got shit to do

It's her job to protect Harry so can you imagine can you fucking fathom how stressful that shit is? cause the boy is always in trouble or some kind of danger and Val is just like BOI STAPH standing in the Quidditch stands hoping he don't die

Val and Snape slowly very slowly develop into having a seriously convoluted and overprotective friendship while still managing to hate each other so they would kill for one another but would also still kill each other. They do end up genuinely caring about one another an it's h e a r t b r e a k i n g

Yo I never said it was a healthy friendship we are dealing with two very fucked up individuals here in a high stress high stakes situation, my lads. I'm not trying to write the kind of friendship ppl should actually have (Val and Snape need so much therapy tbh)

Val's a badass that can handle anything and more but like she's also human so after while things get a lil you know

t r a m a t i c

She didn't have a fantastic childhood btw cause Lucius Malfoy is an abusive prick and Narcissa means well but needs to do so much better.

She will fight you anywhere anytime and she will win because she's kinda overpowered for a literal child but it fits my aesthetic so whatever

She's aroace (so no romantic plot involving her in sight) she just doesn't know for a while cause her life is a constant shit show

Has a proper upper-class aristocratic lady upbringing but still turned out to be a feral child

She is super short by the way literally doesn't hit 5'0 until she's like 14 (Blaze is in the same boat). Cause Snape is like 6'0 or something he can just pick her up and throw her if he wants but she starts fighting like a feral cat the second he touches her

She's really protective of her friends and her cousin and will kill you if you so much as look at them wrong. She knows they are trash but they are Her Trash™

She's actually a super lovable character and you will want to adopt her because she's amazing and no I will not accept hate because she is MY CHILD OKAY

There is so much angst going on oh my god Val never gets a fucking break cause life be like that sometimes

Okay that's it folks I swear it's so much better than it actually sounds or maybe it's not meh

@fandomssaremysoul @incorrect-pretending-to-hate

[soraavalon]

DM: And very reluctantly, he slowly comes over.

Finale: Hi.

Nymera: Hi.

Niklaus: *snickering*

Doubles: Hola.

Finale: I hear you shot my friend here.

Doubles: Me no speak Common.

Finale: Right, of course. I switch to Infernal.

[conversation between Finale, Nymera, and Tiefling is in Infernal]

Finale: I hear you shot my friend earlier.

Nymera: Yeah, what's with that?

Doubles: He gave me the finger. He insulted me and my honor and my family.

Finale: So?

Doubles: So I shot him.

Finale: *flips him the double bird and waves them*

Nymera: Oh look, she flipped you off.

Finale: Twice.

Doubles: You're a spicy bitch.

Finale: Mm-hmm. Now who are you and why are you following us?

Doubles: Umm, *looks at his wrist* You know, look at the time and the weather's getting...

Nymera: Nope!

Finale: I'm gonna draw out the Rosecutter dagger and make sure he can see it, the mark, as I pull it out. "Start talking."

Nymera: And I try and like get behind him so he can't easily run away.

Niklaus (OOC): I feel so bad for this guy.

Finale (OOC): I don't.

Nymera (OOC): Nope.

Niklaus (OOC): You two are scary.

Finale (OOC): That's my shitty dad. I don't care.

Niklaus (OOC): I know, but you two are scary.

Finale (OOC): Yeah.

Doubles: Hello Illiad, your father says hi.

Finale: Thought so.

Doubles: Umm, has a gift for you.

Finale: Tell my father that I don't want anything he has to offer me.

Doubles: *pulls out a bag* Not even 100 platinum?

Finale: Not even 100 platinum. I don't need shit from him.

Doubles: *turns to Nymera* Would you like---

Nymera: No.

Doubles: *puts the bag away*

Nymera: So why don't you and Hendrix fuck off. Leave us alone. Or more importantly, leave Illiad alone.

Niklaus (OOC): I'm so sad that I can't understand Infernal.

Finale (OOC): It sounds terrifying though because we are straight up speaking devil language.

Nymera & Niklaus (OOC): Yep.

DM: People who are walking by are just kind of staring looking concerned, at one point you think you hear someone call for the guard in Elvish.

Finale (OOC): I do have a knife out.

Nymera (OOC): Oh yeah, she does.

Finale (OOC): That's a valid response.

Doubles: What if I don't do that and we say that we did.

Finale: What if you go back to him and tell him I want nothing to do with him and that he has no business knowing what's going on in my life.

Doubles: Umm, because he knows the first and doesn't care that much about the second because you're his kid and he's worried about you.

Finale: Then where the fuck was he for the first twenty years of my life?

Doubles: You know, he kind of killed a guy for asking that.

Finale: I don't give a shit. Tell him to fuck off and that I'm not interested.

Doubles: Cool, I'm not going to say that because he will kill me, but I will pass the message along.

Finale: And any of your other little friends who are keeping their eyes out for me, pass that message to them too. It's none of his business to know what I'm doing.

Doubles: We're just doing our job.

Finale: I don't give a shit.

Doubles: We're still gonna do our job.

Nymera: Well then you're gonna expect some...*chuckles and claps* 'happy accidents'.

Niklaus (OOC): Oh my god.

Finale: It's really hard to spy on somebody without your eyes.

DM: Roll an intimidation check! Let's see if she can do well for once.

Finale (OOC): I'm helping her, right? So she technically gets advantage.

DM: Yeah, she has advantage.

Finale (OOC): Because I'm threatening to cut this dude's eyes out. It's hard to spy on somebody without eyes.

Nymera: *rolls* That first one is an 18.

DM: Oh my god.

Niklaus (OOC): Nym's grown up. She can intimidate people.

Nymera: That second is a 19! 19+7!

Finale: YEAH!

Niklaus (OOC): Goodness.

DM: You're not sure if it's because of the cold, but he kind of starts shaking.

Doubles: Umm, cool. Well I'll do that, by the way could you pass a message to Samael for me?

Finale: Sure.

Doubles: *whispers* Tell him to watch his back.

Finale: Will do. And just rememeber, we're also watching his back.

Nymera: And you know what, just to get the message across; Have you heard of Ba'tist-ah?

Doubles: Yeah, everybody knows who Ba'tist-ah is. He's fucking scary.

Nymera: Yeah, guess where he's at now.

Doubles: Where is he now?

Nymera: His skeleton is at the bottom of the Ebonreach sewers.

Doubles: Cool, that's super specific.

Finale: *taps her shoulder pauldron*

Doubles: Oh. You know what, nix that message to Samael. I think, I think we're good and I'm going to... go now and tell my friends that thing you said.

Finale & Nymera: *nods in approval*

Doubles: Can I go?

Finale: Have a good night, dear.

Nymera: Have a wonderful rest of the night.

[generalfoolish]

thanks @boxdyeblonde 💕 missed you babe!

Confess five things about Star Wars

I'll drop mine under a cut so it doesn't get too long!

1. This is more personal, but I was blissfully unaware that "girls couldn't like Star Wars" for most of my life. I grew up watching all of the films, and then the clone wars, and was veritably obsessed. (also with LOTR but that's another story). It wasn't until high school that I started to see and understand the fanboy world. Even Tumblr at that time did a fair job of hiding toxic fans. The hate women get in regards to SW is pitiful. Leia was a HUGE role model for me, and I love Rey being such a strong character for little girls now.

2. I don't really love Anakin in ROTS. Not because he turns to the dark side, I think we had warnings throughout the prequel. But, specifically, order 66 is so OOC for him. Yes, I know he slaughtered those tusked raiders when he learned of his mother's death. I don't feel like he would straight up kill those younglings for nothing. And that's before we even talk about the clones.

3. Padmé was a strong bitch. I think she gets reduced to just the love story a lot, but, especially in The Clone Wars, we can see her risking her life, taking charge, caring for others, and really trying to avoid violence as much as possible.

4. Obi-wan breaks my heart. Him and Satine should have been together. In the Clone Wars, when he said he would have left the Order if she had asked I died. I haven't recovered. I'm still dead. Send me happy Obi and Satine to heal me.

5. Mandalorians famously don't gaf about gender. Din is *probably* bi. (MyHC is that he is 100 % bi, Pedro just gives every character big BI energy but I could be projecting) I am interested in how they play out S3. If we'll see Omera again, or if we'll see Din still not be interested in anyone romantically OR if we'll see him pursuing a new romantic interest. The confession here is that most of my pandemic days have gone to thinking about Din holding someones hand.

^^Ahsoka is def bi. Actually, every sw character is bi. There's a bonus confession 😂

no pressure tags: @mouthymandalorian @novemberrain221 @djjarins @oonajaeadira

Star Wars Confession Tapes

thanks for the tag 🥺💖 @maulpunk

Confess five things about Star Wars

oh man ill try 😅

1)anakin, padme, and leia had huge impacts on me 😂 really induced the bi panic at a young age

2)there was a period of time where i just watched revenge of the sith over and over because of anakin’s turn to the dark side 😌😂

3)now that im older and dilf’s have a major effect on me Din and Obi Wan have been on my mind A LOT

4)i havent finished the clone wars yet, i saw a spoiler for my next episode (s6 ep4) and im too sad to watch it

5)and going off that, another reason that i haven’t finished it is because anything having to do with order 66 makes me SO SAD im not prepared to handle it

no pressure tags: @buffahsoka @jehdi-knight @sam-wilsonnn @generalfoolish @katekatiehawkeyes

[noprodigalson]

I'M BEING BULLIED BY SOMEONE I USED TO CALL A FRIEND.

[noprodigalson]

Me, on my knees before my boyfriends:

Will you commit arson with me? 🥺