#only voice obviously but id love to be able to use the text one day too

[4giorno]

i was thinking id play patho 2 again after getting through this college application crunch time as a treat, but i might do it in russian this time

[spacedikut]

Derek would ask Spencer to explain how he feels about u to try and get him to understand that he’s in love with you but Spencer would just be like... is that not friendship?

god this idea is so fucking good but. i didn’t do it justice cause i went down a way more serious route :p 1.4k words, gn!reader

the team have been trying tirelessly to get spencer to just... see. what the rest of them see. the longing, lingering looks and requests to work together, the subtle touches that are so sweet in themselves but, with the added knowledge that spencer is Spencer, its...well, the team knows what they see. spencer is just lagging behind a little.

they try a whole plethora of methods. everyone talks to him and spencer either doesn’t connect the dots or simply says “we’re just friends!” and emily gets so frustrated she flicks spencer on the forehead and leaves a mark (i ask you picture pure, innocent spencer sat at his desk, watching emily’s retreating form with nothing but a puppy-dog confused expression and a red dent in the middle of his forehead).

penelope is at her wits end, so derek decides to step up and retry a very basic method: talking spencer through how he feels for you. surely he’s self-aware enough that he’ll hear himself and hear how un-friendlike it all sounds and... tada! love.

but it’s never quite as easy as you’ll think it’ll be, is it?

spencer should’ve known something was amiss when derek asked him if he wanted to hang out and let him choose where they would go - spencer? being allowed to choose where to hang out after work? have you ever heard of something called a red flag?

so spencer chooses a cafe which - immediately, the second they step through the doorway - spencer has a joy to him, telling derek about the last time you and him came here and what you ordered and what you thought of it and all these details that even the most attentive best friend wouldn’t think were anything more than trivial matters. he remembers the shape you tore your napkin into, for goodness sake. in what realm is that friendly behaviour?

then, to make matters worse, spencer, mid-walk to a table in the corner by a large window, abruptly changes directions, making derek almost spill his coffee. spencer apologies, then says they can’t sit in that booth cause that’s where you and spencer sit and - well. that’s your and spencer’s place, you can’t disrupt that! friends! friendly things and friends doing friendly stuff. friendship.

derek gives this scoff that spencer is so used to he barely reacts. when they sit, spencer is acutely aware that derek is staring - furrowed brows and this intense, firm gaze that only appears when he’s thinking. spencer’s only slightly intimidated. 

he’s never been able to lie to derek. he’s never been a good liar, period. he’s good at omissions and burying himself and his emotions but, god, if someone asks just the right question, he’ll fold like the cheap deckchair he truly is.

and derek... derek knows spencer better than he knows himself sometimes.

(is there anyone else that has similar qualities? no. of course not. only his best pal derek and not a colleague/very pretty person known as You)

a question. a question is all it takes.

“so, you and y/n come here a lot?”

derek’s starting light and spencer is so enthralled at the mention of you every worry he had about why he’s here with derek and why derek is looking at him like that flies out the window. 

“we do! actually, it’s the perfect meeting spot; the most convenient distance between our apartments and we both have favourite drinks here. we’ve become regulars, actually, so we make a habit of coming at least once a week at a minimum-“

and he keeps going, sweetly reminiscing about the first time you visited to the silly games you’ve created - because you’ll spend that long here, sitting opposite each other and just each other - and derek wonders how spencer doesn’t see it. doesn’t see the way he lights up at the mention of you, rambles like you’re a statistic spencer’s known for years and can’t help but bestow on everyone at every opportunity, not to mention the physical reaction he has to you. you’re not even present and spencer is wide-eyed, rosy cheeked, permanent curl to either side of his lips that looks involuntary.

he’s in love with you. his entire self, from head to toe, from mind to soul. everyone can see it, except you and him, apparently.

“they make you happy, huh?”

“well, obviously,” spencer hehs, “they’re my best friend.”

there’s an opportunity here, shyly gleaming from the corner of the conversation and derek digs it out. “you got a definition for best friend, reid?”

spencer’s taking a sip of his drink, but is happy to share his knowledge. he’s not quite as bright when he’s saying it. “a best friend has many definitions. friendship itself is usually defined as a relationship of mutual affection between people - it is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an association, and has been studied in multiple academic fields-“

derek hums, encouraging him to keep going. he’ll get there.

and he does, after delving a little too far into the nature versus nurture debate.

“id consider you a best friend. jj, too. and garcia, of course. except... except with y/n it’s- it’s different.”

derek pretends to be shocked. “how’s that?”

“well... they have all the qualities id want in a friend - honesty, generosity, empathy...humour-“ spencer smiles to himself, small and intimate, remembering an inside joke between the two of you. “but they’re more than that, too. they’re there for me - not-not that you guys aren’t there for me too-“ derek just raises an eyebrow. “but...it’s different, with them. it always is.”

the shift of topic from friendship to you has spencer unfocused on his surroundings, eyes glazed over as he stares to the side of derek, who feels like he’s intruding - he rarely understands what goes on in that big head of spencer’s, vast in it’s knowledge and memories and self-perception, but right now he’s confident he does. 

it’s you. he’s thinking of you, the moments you have together - perhaps in this very cafe - that are reserved for spencer and spencer alone, a side of you derek will never know because it’s not his to know; it’s spencer’s, just as spencer is yours.

his voice is level but distant, the warning signs of that magnificent mind finding the pieces and putting them together. “i think-i think about them often. how they are, what they’re doing, if they’re thinking of me too. i know they’re only a text message away or-or, on cases, a few feet away... i guess i don’t want to seem clingy. or desperate.”

“they’d never think that. you know that, right?”

“i know. i-i know that. but-i don’t... i can’t.. i don’t want to risk losing them, i guess. one wrong move and they’ll realise what a-what a complete mess i am. ill unravel and they’ll see all the dark inside and they... they don’t deserve that.”

derek goes to interrupt, because god is spencer wrong, but he doesn’t have the chance.

“they deserve love and laughter and everything i can’t give them if they... if they get too close.” now, spencer brings himself to look derek in the eye. there’s a seriousness there, a solemn stand that spencer doesn’t often take. “i can’t lose them, morgan. i can’t.” his hands tighten around his coffee cup. “i want them here, with me, for as long as i can convince them to stay. i don’t want to be selfish, i don’t- i don’t mean to be, but. i want this. i want them. every day for the rest of my life, i want them. i choose them. im just terrified they’ll see me and... they won’t choose me.”

there’s an expected silence that befalls the two of them, the busting background noise of the cafe the only moving piece. does he get it now? does he understand what has motivated every thought and feeling? every worry and action?

“reid,” derek says, softly, in a tone that has spencer straightening his back. “that’s not... that’s not just friendship. you know that, right? you can see that?”

spencer blinks. 

no. you’re friends - close friends, yes, but friends nonetheless.

but he thinks back to what he’s just said - 

he’d say the same for jj, right? for penelope, and for derek. even gideon, perhaps.

except... no. he wouldn’t. it’s for you, he’s for you, all of it and all of him.

and then the picture is as clear as day. no fog, no obscurity, no hesitance - and spencer’s relieved. relieved that finally, finally, he can put all of his feelings into one simple sentence.

“im in love with them.”

“yeah,” derek says, leaning back against the booth. “yeah, reid, you are.”

[biaswreckingfics]

To Be Replaced: Part 1

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 2.5k

“I’m so sorry, babe… You know I want to be home more than anything, but it’s unfortunately not up to me…” your boyfriend sadly tells you through the phone.

“I know, Baek… It’s okay. It’s just one more week and then you’ll be right back home with me.” You hide the sadness you’re feeling from your voice, so he doesn’t worry about you and feel guilty for the toll his career sometimes takes.

He suddenly whines in your ear. “Why does a week feel so long all of a sudden?”

You listen as your boyfriend of three years continues to pout into the phone. Of course, you were sad that he was going to be gone longer than the two of you had originally planned, but you had learned long ago to be understanding in these types of situations. You’ve grown used to dealing with traveling delays when it came to your boyfriend’s schedule. He was an idol and he was certainly “booked and busy”, and often being pulled in eight different directions. You had learned to just go along for the ride to make it easier on him.

This time it was no different. EXO had just wrapped up another world tour, and SM had found time to schedule more appearances for them before they came home. The only upside you could find in this scenario was more exposure for the boys and more interviews for you to watch online which is exactly what you would be doing in your now open week.

“Oh! Babe, I gotta go. There’s this stylist here who has shown me some really cool design ideas, and I think we’re going to collaborate for Privé! I’ll call you later! Love you!”

Your boyfriend suddenly hangs up and you pull your phone away from your ear to look at it. A small smile finds its way on your face thanks to your boyfriend’s antics. Privé was his baby and he had been eager to find inspiration for a new line for his clothing company. Fortunately, it sounded like he had finally found some.

A week later

You pick up the throw pillow on the couch and fluff it up for the third time while you wait for your boyfriend to arrive home. It was an anxious habit you had somehow developed. Whenever Baekhyun was gone for long periods of time, you wanted him to come home to a neat and tidy apartment. It lowered his stress levels and opened up time for the two of you to be together instead of worrying about a dirty house.

You at least hoped he was coming home today. You had hardly spoken to him in the past week, assumingly because he was busy with schedules and trying to finally catch up on sleep. The last you heard; his plane was arriving at 5pm. Which was 20 minutes ago, you note as you look at the clock on the wall.

Your phone rings and you pull it out of your back pocket and check the caller ID. A smile crosses your features as you glance at the name before answering the phone.

“Hello, Oh Sehun.”

“Hey, we’re just about to leave the airport and I’m already thinking about food. Want to go get dinner?”

“My boyfriend, who I haven’t seen in months, is about to be home. I promise you; dinner is the last thing on my mind right now.”

Sehun makes a disgusted sound in your ear. “I definitely don’t need to hear about you and Baekhyun’s dirty sex life. A ‘no’ would’ve been fine.”

“I wasn’t…” you sigh and glance around the apartment while trying to find patience. “Whatever… No, thank you, Sehun. Please, eat something delicious for me.”

You can almost hear the smirk in his voice when he says, “There’s a joke there… but I’ll let it slide this time. Let’s get together soon, okay?”

“Absolutely, but before you go… Baekhyun is with you, right?” you can’t help but ask.

Sehun pauses at your odd question before slowly asking, “Where else would he be?”

You sink down on the couch once you hear the question he bounces back at you. Obviously, Baekhyun would be with them. “Sorry, dumb question. I just haven’t heard from him in a while, so I wasn’t sure what his schedule was.”

“Why haven’t you heard from him? Did you guys get into a fight or something?”

Your head jerks back in confusion. It was rare for Baekhyun and you to get into an argument, and as your best friend, Sehun knew that.

“No? He was probably just too busy to call.”

Sehun snorts. “I doubt that. We had more free time than any of us expected. Horrible planning on SM’s part, but I won’t bother you with the boring details right now.”

Your brows furrow as even more confusion fills you. What did he mean they had more free time than expected, and if that was the case, why hasn’t Baekhyun called or texted you? You quietly voice your thoughts out loud and Sehun hears you.

“I mean… he was with Maya a lot, but I assume he would’ve talked to you too?”

You lean back into the couch and run the name through your head before coming up empty. “Who’s Maya?”

Rustling from Sehun’s end fills your ears before you hear the sound of a car door shutting. Chanyeol’s deep voice is heard in the background before Sehun responds.

“She’s some designer that was working with one of our stylists. She offered to help Baekhyun design some things for Privé. Didn’t he tell you?”

You hear Chanyeol ask why Sehun is talking about Maya before it must click into place who he is talking to, and he’s suddenly yelling hi to you.

From the sounds of it, the boys knew who she was, so she must be legit. Good. You were happy Baekhyun had someone to help him come up with some new designs. Hopefully, she can help him bring his visions to life, and help him design something really cool.

Sehun and you stay on the phone and talk for a while until you hear keys fumbling against your apartment door. Your heart shoots into your throat and you jump up from the couch in excitement, telling Sehun you have to go and hanging up while waiting for Baekhyun to enter. You hadn’t physically seen your boyfriend in months, and you couldn’t freaking wait to have him back in your arms.

Baekhyun pushes open the door and before he can get all the way inside, you’re running for him and throwing your arms around his neck. He lets out a noise at the impact, but his arms quickly wrap around your waist and he squeezes you tightly.

“I missed you, love.” He mumbles in your ear.

You lean back and find his lips, mumbling a quick “I missed you too” before finally kissing him. The kiss turns more passionate than you intend and Baekhyun blindly closes the apartment door with his foot before turning around and pushing you against it.

“God, I missed the way you taste.”

“Well, I’m right here, Baek, and I’m all yours.”

His eyes darken with lust as a mischievous smirk grows on his face. “Good, because we have a lot of missed time to make up for.”

---------------------------------------

A few hours later, Baekhyun and you are laying tangled up in your sheets and catching each other up on everything that had taken place the past couple of months. You told him about the boring things that happened with your work and family, and he shared with you the antics his members pulled while on tour.

When he tells you about Maya, you take in his excitement and the way he’s animatedly talking about all the ideas they were able to come up with, with a smile. It’s been a long time since you’ve seen Baekhyun this excited about anything, and it was nice to see that light in his eyes again.

“I’m telling you. She. Is. A genius. I don’t know how she came up with half of her designs, but I’m so happy she offered to help me.”

The way Baekhyun speaks about her makes her seem larger than life, and almost out of this world cool, and the way his heartbeat speeds up because of how excitedly he is talking is nice. Did it bother you that he was talking so eagerly about another woman while the two of you were naked in bed? Maybe the slightest twinge of something was there, but you were more happy for him than anything else.

“I’m happy you got a chance to work together. It sounds like she helped you out a lot.” You smile up at him from where your head was resting on his chest.

“Oh, we’ll have plenty more chances.” When you stare up at him curiously, he continues. “She’s been hired to be one of EXO’s stylists.”

You pause, slightly surprised with the information. “They hired her just like that?”

“I gave her a good recommendation.” Baekhyun shrugs underneath you. “She’s already said she’s willing to keep working with me, so now we’ll have even more time together.”

You stare up at him and take in his beautiful features. When he looks down at you, his glowing face smiles and he kisses your forehead. You can see his excitement at the fact that he gets to continue working with her and you couldn’t be happier that he found someone else he can bounce his ideas off of. He could only ask your opinion so many times before your ideas became stale, and you knew next to nothing about high fashion, so she would be way more helpful than you could ever hope to be.

The next day, you join Baekhyun at a shoot he and the other EXO members had scheduled. You found it hard to believe SM couldn’t give them at least a couple of days off before making them work again, but the selfish part of you was happy because now you could see all the guys at once.

As soon as you walk in, there’s a flurry of movement as directors and lighting men work to get everything set up. You stick close to Baekhyun like usual to stay out of everyone’s way, and quickly spot the guys hanging off to the side on a couple of couches. Baekhyun and you walk hand-in-hand in their direction before a beautiful blonde intercepts you.

“Hey, Baek. I have some more designs for you to look at.” The strange girl flashes a blinding smile at him as her hand comes up to grip his arm. She pulls him in a different direction without so much as a glance at you and he immediately lets go of your hand to follow her.

You stand there stunned as you try to figure out what just happened before looking over at the pair to see them lost in their own world. Judging by the words she spoke, you assume the girl is Maya, but you couldn’t know for sure because Baekhyun didn’t introduce you. It was almost like he forgot you were even there.

You shake it off and continue your trek over to the rest of the guys who all greet you the second you’re within earshot. You see an open spot next to Sehun and immediately drop down into it, catching his attention.

“I see you met Maya.” He dryly comments.

“Did I?” You respond, using as much sarcasm as you can muster. Could you call what just happened a meeting?

Sehun glances over to make sure he was talking about the right person and looks back at you with a roll of his eyes. “They were like that the whole time abroad too. It’s like she’s fucking sticky tape.”

You look back over at Maya and take a better look at her appearance. She was gorgeous with long legs that seemed to go on for miles. She gave off European model vibes like she was putting “I’m too sexy and cool, so don’t talk to me” in the air. You feel a twinge of insecurity and immediately stamp it out. Sure, she is gorgeous, but Baekhyun loves you and you had no doubts about that.

“She looks like a model.” You comment causing Sehun to snort.

“She was a model. I guess she decided designing was more her passion.

Oh…

You spend the rest of the day hanging out with the guys or playing on your phone. You had hardly seen Baekhyun since you got here. Maybe a quick “hi” once or twice before Maya was pulling him away again, so you were beyond relieved when the crew was wrapping up for the day and Baekhyun suddenly appeared next to you.

“Hey, babe. Sorry I’ve been so busy today. You were probably bored out of your mind.” He says while he leans over the couch and hugs you from behind.

“It’s okay.” You pat his hand before standing up and walking around the couch to him. “The guys kept me plenty entertained… but I’m ready to finally be with you...”

He pulls you into his arms and gives you a tight hug that you want to stay wrapped up in forever. However, you’re pulled out of the moment when you feel someone’s hand graze your arms as they touch Baekhyun’s lower back. A throat clearing has you and Baekhyun looking behind him, and you meet the eyes of none other than Maya.

Baekhyun quickly moves over to your side and wraps an arm around your waist before turning to face the newcomer. “Hey, Maya! There’s someone I want you to meet. This is Y/N.”

Her expression is unreadable as she looks you up and down like she’s appraising you.  “What do you do for the company?”

You blink a couple of times at her indifferent tone while Baekhyun gives her a weird look.

“Y/N’s my girlfriend… I told you about her on tour.”

Her face changes and you see the exact moment a mask slides into place. She gives you a fake smile while she waves away Baekhyun’s words.

“Oh, right. The girlfriend.” She lets out a light giggle that sounds completely out of place. “I guess I just had other things on my mind when you were talking about her.”

You stare at her as her and Baekhyun continue to talk and try to ignore the bad vibes you were getting from the introduction you just had with her. So many thoughts ran through your head, but you take one look at Baekhyun and decide to keep them to yourself. He looked happier and more relaxed than he has in a while, and you didn’t want anything to ruin that.

You couldn’t be happier that he has found someone to share his passion with… but a part of you was incredibly bummed out that it was no longer you.

Tagging: @gyukult @marovekian1 @making-me-blush @softforqiankun​ @sebootyforlife​ @nothingbutadeadesceane​ @cardtak​ @brie02​ @jungkooksworld18​ @insta1010​ @suhappysuho​ @purple-bell​

[taetaespeaches]

“It’s everything to lose.”

taehyung x reader/oc  (but also jimin x platonic reader/oc) genre: angst word count: 6K

a/n: well, this was a process to write lol. Basically, Peaches/reader and Tae are experiencing a mix of feelings due to their best friends’ (Jimin and Dear) break up. Fears of a possible relationship with each other are worsened, plus, Tae and Peaches are just sad because their closest friends are sad. Also, Peaches finally talks to Jimin for the first time after he broke up with Dear, so that’s a big part of this as well. And we get a brief moment between Peaches and Dear, our ride or die duo. Ok, that’s really it. I hope you all enjoy, and thanks so much for reading! :))

Grasping the back of your neck, you massaged your muscles as you yawned, your eyes set on the coffee percolating into the pot. You loved your best friend, and of course you wanted to be there for her, but her post-break up antics were beginning to wear on you as you failed to get accustomed to running on five or less hours of sleep night after night.

Leaning over the countertop, you looked through your most recent texts with your other best friend, Taehyung. The conversation, which started with him bragging about an amazing waffle he had just eaten, had turned a bit sour as you both defended opposing friends in their recent breakup.

It was hard to find common ground with the man these days, as he was on tour with the antagonist of your friends’ little drama, and you were in a constant state of being the shoulder to cry on for the dear protagonist. A sigh slipped from your lips as you scanned through the messages, the grumbling of the coffee pot sounding in the otherwise silent apartment.

You: He dumped her through text while he was away on tour. That’s fucking ridiculous and it’s cowardly.

Tae: You don’t know what’s going through his mind though.

You: There’s obviously not much going through his mind.

Tae: He’s your friend too.

You: And he broke my best friend’s heart.

Tae: I know that. I’m sorry, I hate this whole situation.

You: Me too. I’m sorry and I hate it too.

Tae: Is she at your place again?

You: No, I’m sure she will be but right now she’s out drinking with those stupid friends she has.

Tae: Oh….

You: Yeah. I’m anxious as fuck. I wanted to keep her from going out but you know, I can’t do that. She has to do what she’s gonna do.

Tae: I’m sorry to add to your stress.

Tae: She’ll be ok, Peaches.

You: No, it’s ok, you could never truly add to my stress. You’re my comfort, Tae, you know that.

Tae: I’m sorry you’re caught in the middle like this.

You: I’m sorry you are too. I’m gonna try to get some sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, have a good night, Dearest.

Tae: Sweet dreams, Peaches.

Craving for two seconds away from the ongoing story of your friends’ turbulent romance, you scrolled up on your text conversation with Tae, a faint smile appearing on your lips at the photo of a waffle the size of the plate it sat upon, followed by a photo of Taehyung shoving a massive bite into his mouth.

Tae: It’s definitely big enough for the both of us but since you’re not here I guess I’ll have to manage it alone.

Tae: I miss sharing breakfast foods with you.

Tae: Never mind, this is so good, I’m glad you’re not here to eat it all.

Your brief moment of relief was broken when your screen changed to display a caller you were not prepared to speak to. Guilt and anxiety settled into your stomach as your breathing hitched slightly at the image of his name and photo. The contact ID reminded you of simpler times, the man pulling a silly expression with his chin tucked into his neck to give himself two of them. He had called you a few times the past couple days, but you’d consistently ignored them, trying to avoid hearing the voice of the man you considered one of your closest friends.

You almost didn’t answer again. Looking to the room your best friend slept in, a serious hangover awaiting her on the other side of slumber, your thumb pressed on the green circular button on the right side of the screen.  

Pausing a moment, you shook your head before raising the phone to your ear.

“Hello?” You answered, your voice hushed as to not wake up the girl a few rooms away. A rush of air sounded through the phone, as if the man was sighing in relief, but that was the only response you received. “Jimin,” you sighed.

“Hey,” he spoke quietly, defeat coating his tone. He must not have had the strength to pretend to be ok.  

Another awkward pause ensued, both of you waiting for the other to break the silence first. With another sigh, you stood up straight, turning your back to the counter as you leaned against it. “Can you say something?” You asked.

“I don’t know what to say,” he admitted lamely, you licking your lips which became quite dry suddenly.  

“You called me,” you pointed out, annoyance in your words that wasn’t intentional but was true to your current mood. “You’ve been calling me for days, but you don’t know what to say?”

“I didn’t think you’d answer,” he said shakily, and you were sure there were tears bubbling up in his eyes.

Hearing the sadness in his tone, you chewed on your bottom lip, trying to conceal your own emotions in response to his tone. You weren’t sure your feelings even mattered right then. “Well I answered,” you told him, in a sort of assurance. Assurance of what, neither of you were sure, but it allowed Jimin a small sigh of relief.

“Thank you,” the man whispered, causing you to clench your teeth to hold back your pity and consideration for him as you turned back around to the coffee machine.

“Don’t thank me,” you told him, a slight anger behind your tone. “What do you want to say? I have errands I need to run.”  

As Jimin prepared his words, going through his mind to figure out exactly why he was calling you, you patiently waited, halting your movements as your hand sat on the handle of the coffee pot. You knew he needed time to gather his thoughts, and though you were angry with him, you cared for him enough to give him that. “I just miss you,” he admitted, a crack in his voice indicating the earnest admission.

Taking in a shaky breath, you let it out in a wobbly exhale. “Of course I miss you too,” you said honestly. You refused to lie to him about that. “But I don’t want to talk to you, Jimin.”

His words tumbled out of him bitterly, but it was shrouded in frustration, which you believed to be with himself. “You were my friend first,” he said, uncertain whether he regretted the comment or not.

“I’m still your friend,” you told him adamantly, though your voice was still quiet.  

“Then please talk to me,” he begged, almost desperate for the affection you normally showed him. Well, that you showed him before he broke your best friend’s heart.

“I can’t,” you told him trying to sound stern, but your exhausted state ruining your feeble attempt to put up a front.

A sniffle sounded through the phone, adding to the heaviness in your heart. “Why not?”

Holding the phone to your ear with one hand, you moved your other from the coffee pot to the top of your head as you scratched your roots in frustration and distress. “I can’t risk saying something awful to you,” you confessed through an unsteady voice. And that was it. You were angry with him, but you didn’t want to hurt him. “I love you, you’re one of my favorite people on this entire planet, Jimin,” you cried, your sniffling giving away your emotion to the man on the other side of the phone.

“I’m sorry,” he told you in a rush as you wiped away a tear.

“I see her every day,” you told Jimin in a whisper, ensuring your voice was too low for your friend to hear you if she suddenly awoke. However, you were sure the quietness of your voice was giving away that the woman he still loved was just feet away from you; just feet away from the conversation currently taking place, asleep in your spare bedroom. “I’m so mad at you, Jimin, god I’m mad at you,” your voice suddenly broke, no longer able to hold back the pent-up emotions. If Jimin’s thoughts had strayed to the girl nearby, the sound of your distressed voice surely brought him back to the present conversation; the present state of your friendship. “I need to process all of this before I talk to you because I love you and I can’t say something I’ll regret or something I don’t mean,” you explained as tears spilled over your lash line.

“I understand,” he said roughly, clearing his voice right after as if he was trying to pull himself together for your sake.

“I just-” You paused, holding your breath as you attempted to swallow more tears. “I need time so I can forgive you,” you told him sadly, clenching your fist together as you tried to steady your breathing. “I’m sorry,” you told him, your voice just above a whisper.

“Please don’t apologize,” he begged, choking back a sob. “I get it, take your time,” he assured you. “I’m really sorry for doing this,” he admitted sadly. The man sounded regretful and broken, your pity for him swirling around in the whirlwind of emotions you were currently experiencing. “All of it.”

You knew that was true. You knew he still loved her. And you knew he felt immense guilt for what he did to her, you, Taehyung, your whole friend unit, but mostly her. That much was obvious.  

“I do miss you,” you assured him through a small whimper, choosing to give him the reassurance rather than responding to his apology. “I won’t be mad forever.”

“I miss you too,” he told you sorrowfully. “I’ll be here whenever your feelings change.”

With that, you ended the call, leaving Jimin alone in his hotel room. Setting the phone to the counter, you wiped your face once more before grabbing the handle of the coffee pot, pouring some into the mug you had taken out earlier.

Thinking upon your conversation with Jimin, you wanted nothing more than to scream at him; tell him what an idiot he was. But you also wanted to wrap him up in a hug and tell him that he would be ok. You were my friend first. You scoffed, thinking of his remark, though a tear slid down your cheek. You wanted to be there for your friend, but how could you be when your other friend was just down the hallway, passed out after a night of trying to numb her heartache through the use of alcohol? He caused that pain. You were right to be mad at him… weren’t you?

It was almost astonishing how things, seemingly meant to be, could fall apart right before your eyes. Things weren’t always easy for Jimin and your friend, but they loved each other. One would think that love would be enough to get them through. But maybe love isn’t enough. Maybe fate isn’t enough.

Fate. Soulmates. They’re interesting concepts. Souls destined to find each other. But the rhetoric surrounding these notions don’t suggest that you’ll end up together.

But maybe if Jimin and your friend could see past everything that went wrong, they would find something worth fighting for still. It wasn’t simple, but it could be simpler for them.  

Something also simple but not simple at all was you and Taehyung. More and more recently, you had been realizing how much you love him. Maybe you both were meant to be together too. Tied together by the fate of your souls. But seeing how things can fall apart, perhaps it’s more risk than it’s worth. Wasn’t it better to have Tae in your life in the role of your best friend than it was to complicate things and lose him? You couldn’t lose him. You wouldn’t let yourself.

You sniveled as you brought the coffee to your lips, making an attempt at a deep breath before taking a sip. Your emotions needed to be locked down by the time your friend awoke. However, that concern came too late as two arms wrapped around your middle, the surprise affection causing you to jump in start.

The presence of her limbs were tentative as he she carefully rested the side of her face against your back. Breathing out in a huff, you relaxed a bit. “Jesus,” you spoke softly, but your friend gave you no response. Alarm bells went off in your head as her body trembled just slightly against yours. “You ok?” You asked, setting the mug down carefully.

“I’m so sorry,” she sobbed against you, and as your mind went into high alert, your heart plummeted into your gut. Immediately, you turned in her arms, wrapping your own around the back of her head, holding her impossibly close to you. Sorry?

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” you assured her, leaving a kiss to the side of her head on the top of her hair. “Absolutely nothing.”

“My behavior last night could use an apology,” she admitted, causing you to smile slightly though she couldn’t see it with her face buried against your neck.

“Well, maybe that,” you teasingly agreed, thinking back to the few hours earlier in which you had to drive to the club she was at because she had broken down on the dance floor. All anger, if there was any to begin with, however, had completely dissolved when you pulled up outside the establishment to find her sitting against the wall in the cold, mascara stains down her cheeks as she sobbed about how much her heart hurt. “But are you even apologizing for that?” You asked her, realizing she must have heard you on the phone with her ex.

“Partially,” she cried harder. She knew the strain the breakup had put on all four of you, and though it wasn’t her fault, she still felt guilty. You knew she did. Her heart was too soft for her to not take some sort of blame.

Allowing her to cry in your arms, you moved your hand to the back of her head as you tried to make her feel safe. “You’re gonna be ok,” you whispered to her repeatedly in a gentle tone.

After a few moments, she pulled away to look at you, your thumbs moving to her cheeks to wipe the tears away, though more continued to fall, quickly replacing them.

“How is he?” She suddenly asked you, her lip trembling as she held back a sob.

Scanning her features carefully, you debated your answer. If you told her he was ok, it would make her feel pitiful for not being ok, plus it would be a lie. If you told her he wasn’t ok, it could possibly hurt her even more. Locking your eyes on her pleading ones, you sighed. “About as good as you,” you told her simply, holding back your own tears as she broke down, your arms wrapping around her shoulders to bring her close once again.

Placing a hand back against her head, you held her to you tightly. “Why does that make me feel worse?” She asked against your shoulder, her voice muffled from your sweatshirt.

“Oh babe,” you spoke softly near her ear, a tear slipping from the inner corner of your eye. “Because you still love him.”

You weren’t sure if you should have said that, but it was true. And maybe if she heard it from you, she would face those feelings. As she cried against you, your mind raced over everything that had happened that morning already. Everyone was so broken, and suddenly your mind found its way to Taehyung. Because he was the only one you wanted to talk to in that moment. He was your comfort.

But what if you didn’t have him anymore? Two people as meant to be as Jimin and the girl in your arms couldn’t even make it work. Add in your fickleness in love, and where did that leave your odds at success with Tae? You refused to break him, and you couldn’t lose him. You just couldn’t.

Hauling your groceries through your apartment, your phone started ringing in your pocket. Rushing to the kitchen, you set the bags on the floor before grabbing the device, finding Tae on the other side of the video call.

Accepting it, you waited for his face to appear on the screen before greeting him. “Hi,” you answered in a huff, Tae immediately chuckling at your hectic state.

“Hey,” he greeted, “Are you busy?”

“No,” you shook your head, dropping the phone to the counter just after speaking the word, causing the man to giggle further. “Just got home from grocery shopping,” you told him as you discarded your bag off your shoulder and onto the countertop. Taehyung hummed in response just as you propped the phone up against the side of your bag, situating it so he could see you as you stood in your kitchen.

“Did you get anything fun?” He asked, as you scanned the bags on the floor.

“Um,” you cut yourself off with a yawn, “I got those cookies you like,” you spoke through your exhale, looking at him through the screen to take in his appearance. “You look handsome,” you told him, the man smiling slightly at you as you stared at his still damp hair atop his head, giving away that he had showered recently.

“You tired?” He asked suddenly, being met with your groan as you stared down at the groceries without moving. “What happened last night?”

“Well, she went out with those friends and of course it was too soon for her to be out partying and I had to pick her up at 2 am outside of the club because she had a break down,” you ranted to him as you knelt down to begin taking items out of the grocery bags.

“Jesus,” he sighed, your eyebrows raising at his response.

“What?” You questioned defensively, piling items onto the floor as you emptied all the bags.

“I didn’t mean anything by it,” he tried to evade your anger. “I’m assuming she’s not there right now?”

“No, she went back to her place for a bit,” you told him. “What was with the judgmental tone just now?” You pressed.

Looking up at the phone, you watched as shook his hair out with his hand. “It’s just, that’s not really fair to you, is it?”

Scoffing at him, you stood, not bothering to look at the phone as you brought some juice and a few other items to the refrigerator.

“I just mean, you deserve some rest,” he added. “A break maybe.”  

“Well I don’t get a break because your best friend broke up with mine and she’s devastated,” you said coldly, shutting the fridge door and turning back to face the device.

“He’s your friend too,” he reminded you, his eyebrows raised, causing you roll your eyes.

“I know that,” you said in annoyance. “But you don’t see what she’s going through every day,” you pointed out, feeling protective over your friend and her broken heart.

Reaching to grab a box of crackers off the floor, you headed toward the cupboard as Taehyung told you, “You really should talk to him.”

Letting out a dry laugh, you nodded to yourself. “Tae, she’s my best friend,” you reminded him once more.

“I get that, but he’s your friend too,” he repeated, causing you to sigh. “He’s going through stuff too,” he added. You wanted to scoff, but if you were being honest with yourself, your anger towards Jimin had diminished significantly since speaking to him briefly that morning.

“Well,” you thought out loud, facing the man once more. Folding your arms over your ribcage, you shrugged. “I’m sure he is but he did this,” you said, trying to remain firm in your coldness.

You were met with the sound of Taehyung breathing out slowly as his eyes stayed locked on you. “That’s not really fair, he’s hurting too,” Taehyung defended his friend.

“I love Jimin,” you clarified. “But I don’t have time to think about him when she’s at my place all the time because she can’t handle being alone in her own apartment for a single night,” you told him, staring at him as you waited for him to respond. Taehyung ran his tongue over his bottom lip as you sighed. “I know Jimin is hurting, but she is too. And it’s bad, Tae,” you told him sadly.

Taehyung sighed as you stared at him through the phone, waiting for his next words. “I know, I don’t mean to be insensitive to her. I know he hurt her, I get that. I’m just here with him and he’s a fucking mess,” Tae huffed. “I don’t know what to do,” he admitted sadly, giving you a defeated shrug.

Stepping closer to the phone, you shook your head slowly. “I don’t either,” you admitted. You both sat in silence for a moment, watching each other through opposite sides of the phone, your remaining groceries still waiting on the floor.

Taehyung was the first to break the silence, asking, “What are you thinking?”

Sighing, you ran your hands over your face. “I don’t even know, I’m just-” you stopped yourself, not sure if you should speak your next words; because of the implication to you and Tae.

“What is it?” He pressed, resituating himself on the bed as he sat laid across a pillow, his head supported by his hand. “Peaches,” he said gently, causing you to relent.

“Maybe they shouldn’t have ever gone from friends to more,” you thought aloud, Tae’s silence feeling heavy on your heart as he tried his best to keep his face from giving away any emotion.

“You think?” He asked simply, his feigned indifference covering up the hurt you knew was there.

“It’s just a hard leap to make,” you explained, leaning against the counter on your elbows, holding your chin in your hands. “If it doesn’t work, this is where it leaves you.” Your eyes were glued to the phone as you watched him carefully. Suddenly, you felt angry at these fucking phone companies who couldn’t make a better camera or give you a better connection to be able to read the emotions flashing through his eyes and features more closely.

“Sometimes it works though,” he told you quietly, his voice nearly shaking, almost as if he was meekly defending himself.

A lump formed in your throat that you didn’t believe you’d be able to ever swallow, knowing you were the cause of the sadness he was feeling. “But if it doesn’t, that’s a lot to lose,” you argued, your voice faint as the emotions sat in your vocal chords.

“But it can work,” he said a bit louder than his last comment, his voice more assured as he licked his lips.

“Tae,” you sighed, cocking your head to the side just slightly. You both knew you were no longer talking about your friends’ experience with moving from friends to lovers. There had never been any confirmation from either you or Taehyung, but sometimes it seemed as though there was an unspoken understanding of how you both thought of each other.

“Look at Jin,” Taehyung countered, pointing to the fact that Jin and his old friend had successfully added romance to their relationship over a year earlier. “They’re doing really well, they’re happy.”

“Tae,” you called out to him gently, attempting to swallow as your eyes shined with emotion. When he responded with his silence, his sad eyes scanning over your features carefully, you chewed on your bottom lip as you attempted to hold in your emotion. “It’s a lot to lose,” you whispered, holding his gaze. “It’s everything to lose,” you added, blinking a few times as Taehyung looked down to the bed and began picking at the comforter. A few seconds of silence went by and you didn’t realize you were holding your breath until you suddenly exhaled, feeling breathless and tired. “Dearest,” you addressed him softly.

“No, you’re right,” he said half-heartedly, keeping his eyes directed downward. “It is everything to lose,” he agreed with a small nod, looking up to you.

“Everything, Tae,” you emphasized, hoping he would recognize that he was everything to you.

“You really should talk to Jimin,” he changed the topic, his tone stronger as he seemed to easily move on from your unspoken confessions. Inhaling deeply, you nodded slowly, standing up straight before moving back to the groceries. Trying to shake yourself out of the conversation that just took place, you spotted the cookies sitting on the floor.

“I’ll think about it,” you replied before reaching for the package. “I’m not gonna save you any of these,” you teased, holding them up for him to see as his lips spread into a mildly amused grin.

“Well I didn’t save you any of the waffle so it’s only fair,” he played along, both of you pushing aside the tension between you both once more.

You would think about talking to Jimin, you meant that. But it would be hard to think of anything but Taehyung.  

With your thumb hovering over the call button, you sighed deeply as you tried to muster up some courage. Lowering your digit to the phone screen before you could change your mind, you nervously raised the device to your ear.

The rings were deafeningly loud as you awaited the answer, running your hand through your hair and chewing on your bottom lip; nervous gestures.

“Hey,” Jimin greeted suddenly, his voice appearing breathless as if he rushed to the phone.

“Why’d you do it?” You asked him, skipping greetings and pleasantries. A moment of silence encased the phone call before Jimin sighed.

“I don’t even fucking know anymore,” he said, a sob following the words as if he had been sitting on the edge of a break down for days; weeks. The confusion and heartbreak in his tone shattered your heart, filling you with guilt for evading his calls and texts for so long. “I don’t know if there was even a valid reason and I regret it so much.”

“I don’t understand what happened,” you admitted, thinking back upon their relationship and what they had revealed to you.

“Me either,” he barely spoke through his cracked voice. “I don’t know, it’s like, as secure as we made each other feel, it was like we could never fully rid ourselves of our own insecurities,” he explained through his cries. “I fucked up, didn’t I?” He asked as he held back tears.

“Oh Jimin,” you sighed, realizing what drove them apart. And suddenly, you had the urge to wrap them both up in hugs because in an instant, there was nowhere to place the blame you were previously placing on Jimin. It was both their faults, and also no one’s fault. Jimin had made the wrong move, your best friend didn’t make enough moves, and yet they were both just victims to their own intrusive perceptions of themselves.

“Our own shit just got in the way and-” he let out a harsh breath. “When I sent the text I immediately regretted it and I was just trying to convince myself that it was for the best,” he sniffled. “And I was about to take it all back and beg for forgiveness, fuck, I was thinking about leaving tour and coming back to her so we could fix whatever the fuck was causing all of this shit between us,” he paused as his cries took over.

“Why didn’t you take it all back?” You asked him.

You collected up the patience as you gave him time the time to think back on the breakup. “All of a sudden, she just stopped fighting,” he said sadly. “We were always fighting for each other, and she finally stopped. And I don’t know, I think it kind of cemented the idea that I did the right thing. It hurt, and it felt wrong, but she accepted the breakup and gave up.”

“Fuck, Jimin,” you held back your tears at the defeat in his voice. “She didn’t stop fighting for you, she just didn’t have enough fight left in her to take on your insecurities any longer,” you told him.  

“What’s even the difference?” He asked. “Whether she stopped fighting willfully, or whether I took the fight out of her,” he scoffed, “I became too much for her.”

“I don’t think you could ever be too much for her,” you assured him. “Look, do you want me to speak to you compassionately or truthfully?” You asked, the question being met with a dry laugh.

“You’re always compassionate, but I want the truth,” he told you, you nodding though he couldn’t see it.

“You fucked up,” you told him, “but also I don’t think this is entirely your fault,” you quickly added. With a sigh, you thought out loud. “How do I word this?” you pondered. “You two are two of the most incredible people I’ve ever known and yet, you guys can’t fucking see it.”

Jimin scoffed, making you roll your eyes. “I said I was speaking truthfully, so just listen to me and try to actually hear what I’m saying for once,” you told him, the man agreeing to listen by giving you his silence. “You see how incredible she is and that makes you insecure because you don’t see yourself living up to what she deserves. And it’s the same for her, she doesn’t think she can be what you need and what you want, despite you assuring her constantly that she’s everything to you. And that holds you both back from being exactly what the other person wants,” you paused for a moment, letting the words permeate Jimin’s brain. “If you two could just be who you are and give each other that version of yourselves, you wouldn’t be in this situation,” you explained to him. “She fell in love with you, she just wants you.”

“Fuck,” he sobbed, the pained understanding echoing in his single expression. “But I fucked it up, I hurt her and I don’t think we can fix it this time.”

“I truly do not understand how you can be so wrong about this all the fucking time,” you groaned. “She is in love with you,” you told him, enunciating the words carefully. “You hurt her, and you hurt her bad, but she hasn’t given up on you,” you told him. “Whether she admits it or not, she’s waiting for you to fix it,” you informed the man. “So fucking fix it. Stop holding yourself back and just be happy, Jimin.”

“I don’t know if-”

“Be happy,” you interrupted him. “Stop being so idiotic and just fight for your happiness. Fight for hers,” you begged him, frustration over both of your friends’ moronic actions getting the best of your patience. “You both deserve each other because you’re both the best,” you went on, trying to convey to the man how strongly you felt he and the girl you both adored belonged with each other.

“She still loves me?” He asked, being met with another one of your groans. “Sorry, I just, she does?”

“Do you still love her?” You asked, knowing the answer but wanting him to speak it out loud so maybe he could truly hear it.

“With all of me,” he admitted sadly, a sniffle following the words, allowing you to visualize the tears running down his cheeks in that moment.  

“Do you really think that’s one sided?” You asked him.  

“I really don’t know,” he admitted, a small sigh leaving your lips.  

“It’s so simple but you guys make it so complicated,” you complained, the man giving you the slightest chuckle in the form of a single exhale. “You both lost the fight, but you didn’t lose the fight for each other, you lost it to yourselves. Does that make sense?” You asked.

“I think so?” He said, thought it came out as a question.

“You guys were defeated by your own insecurities. It’s not like you chose to give up on her, just like she didn’t choose to give up on you. You both just feel hopeless right now, that’s-”

“It’s not hopeless?” He asked, and despite the negative comment, there was a renewed optimism in his tone that lifted your lips into a faint smile.

“No,” you shook your head. “It’s not hopeless.” You both sat in silence, nothing but your breaths sounding into the phone receivers. “I’ll talk to her,” you assured him. “If I get any sense that she doesn’t want you anymore, I’ll let you know and I’ll be full of apologies and you can hate me forever,” you told him.

“I could never hate you,” he scoffed.

“But if I’m right, which I know I am, Jimin, I know it,” you assured him, “then you need to find that hope and bring it back to her.”

With a sigh, Jimin agreed with a simple, “ok.”

“Ok,” you replied. “Fix it.”

“I hope I can,” he spoke softly, his voice still sad, but much less defeated than the start of the conversation.

“Hope is enough right now,” you told him.

“Thank you for finally talking to me,” he said, a hint of a smile evident in his voice.

“Thank Tae,” you corrected. “He talked me into it.”

“He really is the only one who can cut through your stubbornness, huh?” He asked teasingly, you chuckling lightly in response.

“I guess he is,” you agreed.

“Speaking of simple but making it complicated though,” Jimin noted, drawing upon your earlier words, and reflecting them back on you and your relationship with Taehyung.

“Tae and I aren’t complicated,” you negated Jimin’s observation, only to be met with a disbelieving laugh. “We aren’t,” you remained firm. “I know it seems complicated but, when it comes down to it, it’s the simplest thing ever.”

“Ok, break it down for me then,” Jimin asked for your elaboration. “How is it simple?”

“Because at the end of the day, we just love each other. So much so, that we’ll do anything to keep one another in each other’s lives,” you explained. “And that makes my relationship the simplest, easiest relationship I’ve ever had.”

Jimin hummed in return, thinking over your words. “That does sound simple, I guess,” he agreed. “But are you happy?”

You paused for a moment, surprised by the question. Were you? Were you fulfilled with Tae’s role in your life as you went and dated other people, finishing each escapade craving for more, anxious for the night to be over so you could call Taehyung and hear his voice as he expressed whatever was on his mind? The truth was, no one was or ever would be Taehyung. No matter how great they were, no matter how smart, kind, funny, genuine they were, they would never be him. But Taehyung was in your life, and maybe that was enough. So, were you happy? Turns out that’s the most complicated question you could have been asked.

“This isn’t about me,” you told Jimin with a small smile.

“Hey,” he said gently. “Are you happy?”

“I’m not unhappy,” you said assuredly. That was true, for sure.

“But is that happy?” Jimin pressed, causing you to sigh in annoyance.

“It’s happy enough,” you told him. “But one of us has to be happy, right?” You turned it back on him.

Jimin breathed out your name, but you dismissed him. “This is about you right now,” you told him. “If you fix things on your end, then we can entertain a discussion about my happiness, ok?” You asked him, though it wasn’t really a topic up for debate which he understood.

“Deal,” he agreed with a light chuckle.

Happiness, you thought. What was it? You were sure it was different for everyone. Just as you were sure it comes from many different sources. For you, though, your main source of happiness was seeing Taehyung smile. His happiness mattered most in terms of your relationship. And if he was happy being your friend and having you as his, then you were happy. Happy enough.

If he wasn’t happy… well, something would have to be done about that.

[2jaeh]

Bubble ♡︎ | Na Jaemin

Genre : Fluff humor

You’re subscribed to Jaemins bubble, excited just like every other fan to recieve his message for today until his new messages don’t seem like the others.....

-—————————————————————————

“What’s taking so long ?” You stared blankly at the LYSN* app while stretching your legs onto your leather couch.

You switched over to the Twitter app and scrolled through your timeline, briefly reading through whatever was the latest topic on nctzen Twitter. One tweet caught your attention which made you chuckle out loud

Nananotifs: “I’m pretty sure Haechan finally threw Jaemin’s phone out of the dorm window bc.......”

All Nanadoongies gathered on Twitter to complain about the absence of Jaemin especially since he was the only one who hadnt reposted Chenle’s beloved pup Daegal.

You sighed and switched back to the LYSN app and noticed you were able to send one more message to Jaemin before the app blocks you off until he sends a new message.

Y/n: nana I miss you please say something

JAEMIN: y/n did you eat today ? I’ve missed you!

Your eyes widened at the immediate message you received from your ult. Was is coincidental ? Ofcourse it was, they don’t get notifications from fan messages do they ?

You immediately switched over to Twitter already seeing the bubble update account sharing Jaemins new message along with the entire timeline screaming over his activity.

~boominana: “how dare he act so normal I’m gonna cry !!!!”

~jaeminjenos: “post a selfie Jaemin don’t be shy”

~dreamies023: “he’s probably busy guys let him post when he wants to”

The last account was right. Jaemin was probably so busy. It was nice that he still found time out of his schedule to message nctzens and that’s what you loved most about him.

Y/n: Jaemin you’re stressing everyone out on Twitter lol let us know you’re doing ok we love you !

JAEMIN: am I ? :/

Was it a delayed message ? You shook your head and decided it was probably just another glitch on the app.

Y/n: yes stop ghosting us !

JAEMIN: ghosting ? ㅋㅋㅋ so dramatic

You froze. There was absolutely no way that from the tons of messages he would be recieving right now that yours would be the one he read and responded to.

The interaction made your heart race and quickly switch over to Twitter, it was probably chaos right now wondering what Jaemins messages could mean.

Silence.

Everyone on the timeline moved on from Jaemins first message and there were no updates on the messages you had just received from him.

PING!

JAEMIN: y/n ~ are you not going to answer me ? How am I ghosting you :(

This could not be real. You felt a lump in your throat as you checked over your other bubble subscriptions which all seemed fine except for his. You had no idea how to feel or what to do.

Y/N: this is weird. Send me a selfie so I know you’re actually replying to me and not a bot -_-

About 15 minutes went by and you stared at the open chat. He had read your message but there was no reply.

“Humh it was a bot after all” you huffed, about to close the app when your phone pinged and you saw Jaemins name pop up.

A voice note.

“Hey y/n, I hope I’m saying your name correctly hehe So long story short I think the chat glitched and your name and profile pic added itself to my own bubble. Weird right ? Mark Hyung told me I should send a voice note because it will make you believe me a bit more and .....well we would know if you posted on Twitter which CANNOT happen hahaha you understand right ?”

What was happening right now.

You pinched yourself to make sure you didn’t accidentally fall asleep on the couch and start having a very eerie realistic dream.

JAEMIN: I know you’re shocked rn but I really enjoy reading your replies haha it was the best part of my day and well I couldn’t help myself today. I wanted to tease you lol

Y/N: wait so how long has this “glitch” happened for ?

JAEMIN: hmmm....about a month now I think...after you renewed your account I think hehe

Y/N: what ??? Omg I’m so embarrassed......

JAEMIN: there’s nothing to be embarrassed about trust me. I’ve read everything czennies have sent me haha I find it amusing.

You exhaled deeply and scrolled through some of the messages you have sent him during this month and thankfully none of them were cringeworthy.

Y/N: so...now what? Should I speak to app support and fix this....unsubscribe or something....

JAEMIN: LOL youre really funny. Imagine finding out you can speak to someone from your fav idol group and you want to call tech support ...LOL so funny Mark Hyung is laughing

You felt your cheeks heat up at the image of Na Jaemin and Mark Lee laughing at your messages.

JAEMIN: please don’t be embarrassed y/n ! I only did this bc well I have your profile now and you’re really cute.

This was NOT happening.

Y/N: Uh......

JAEMIN: what do you have a boyfriend ? ....

Y/N: no I don’t I’m just....it’s nothing never mind

JAEMIN: LOL so cute! So do you have Kakao ?

Y/N: you want my number ? Why ? .....

JAEMIN: to talk to you obviously! What if they fix the glitch and I’ll never be able to talk to you again..

Jaemin wanted to talk to you. He was trusting you wholeheartedly to add him on his private account. Did he have an idea of the kind of person you were ? How could he possibly risk his career to a nobody ?

Y/N: I do have kakao it’s YN_0023.... Jaemin I won’t say anything but are you sure this is okay ?

JAEMIN: yeah I’ll video call you and we can talk about it ...adding you now. Clear this chat after you get my text!

VIDEOCHAT ?

Is he absolutely insane ? Maybe the voice note was fabricated. Maybe this was some weirdo trying to prey on innocent fangirls. Maybe -

Nana00: heyyyyyyyyy :)

Y/n: hi Uhm is this ...Jaemin ...

Nana00: yup (inserts a pic with your username on a sheet of paper)

Y/n: holy shiiiiit

By now you were already pacing across your entire apartment trying to come to terms with what was going on in your life right now. It became a force of habit to constantly check Twitter and make sure by chance somebody mentioned a glitch of some sort or SM announcing that the app is under construction or SOMETHING.

‘This couldn’t be real’ you thought.

Nana00: lol you’re so funny so are you free to video call ?

Y/n: Uhm......are you sure that’s a good idea ?

Nana00: yeah I mean firstly I would like to know you’re real too lol and also I want to know if I can trust you with this information.....it’ll be quick I promise

Y/n: well....okay give me 10minutes please

Nana00: lol sure :)

After scrambling to your bathroom to make yourself a little presentable as if you just won a video call event for your ult, you finally set on a laidback look so it doesn’t look too obvious that you put a little effort in.

You decided to prop your phone on the mini tripod on your desk so the lighting from your bedroom window in front of you bounced off your skin perfectly.

Y/n: okay I’m ready. I’m a little shy so.....sorry if I can’t talk much...

Nana00: you don’t sound shy when you talk about me on bubble hehe ;)

You buried your face in your hands and groaned. The embarrassment was still eating at you and Jaemin was not letting you live those messages down.

Ring Ring Ring......

You saw your phone light up and Jaemins kakao profile picture fill your screen.

With a shaky finger you press the recieve button and watch as the pixelated video start to clear up, presenting a very smiley Na Jaemin.

“Hi there” he said in his high voice and a bright smile on his face. He seemed to be sitting at his desk as well, hair still wet from either a rainy day or a shower.

“Uhm hi” you replied shyly and waved awkwardly.

“So this is the face behind the bubble profile huh”

“I guess so” you replied. It seemed as though you were calm and collected but on the inside you were screaming. Screaming that you were conversing with one of your favourite people right now.

“Good! Sorry to ask this again but did you clear the chat on bubble ? We have to be careful with that” he said in a concerned voice.

“Yeah I did after you sent the pic I finally realized it was definitely you so I went ahead and did it” you quickly said, kinda embarrassed by how fast your words came out.

Jaemin chuckled.

“You still doubted me after the voice note?”

“Just a little”

“You’re so adorable it’s ridiculous you know that ?” He gleamed and neared the screen, his deep brown eyes focusing on yours “ where are you from y/n?”

“Well I live in a lot of places but my hometown is _______. I learnt most of my korean while studying here in Osaka weird enough” you shrugged.

You moved to Japan for your first year of university since it was where you sort of grew up as a kid and took up extra korean classes once settled in the city.

“Osaka ?? Wow I love Japan I can’t wait to go back! Well now I kinda have an excuse to go” he winked sending your heart into a frenzy.

You giggled shyly “is this the fan service everybody talks about ?

“Fan service is a job....this is different I’m sure you know that y/n haha”

“All of this because of my profile picture ?”

“Well” Jaemin bit down on his lip as his eyebrows turned into a frown

“I obviously saw your pic and thought you were very cute but a big part of it was your messages and how you would always message me when I most needed it.”

“My messages are very random” you chuckled.

“Still made me smile throughout my day and that means a lot” he said and ran his fingers through his hair “so it’s kinda selfish of me to say, but id like for you to update me...personally”

“Na Jaemin are you asking me to be your own personal bubble account ?” You raised your eyebrow.

“Yeah pretty much” he shrugged “I’ll repay the subscription when I see you Osaka.”

[wickedpact]

You can't just drop that "I read Forces Multiplied" bomb on us and not give a ten page written reaction.

[cracks knuckles] if u insist

nicky cant drive hc: destroyed. rip. also i loved how andy and nile stole those sports cars and were being badass and driving off the bridge & meanwhile joe and nicky were just absolutely vibing in the van

'heres the thing about power: people who have it think they deserve it' [shot of police car] i see u greg

5 whole panels being dedicated to booker not being able to unlock his door. booker not even seeing noriko sitting RIGHT THERE in the window at first. incredible

noriko being 24/7 horny was surprising. like wow all of the stuff i saw she did out of context was 100% equally horny in context as it was out of context. love that for her

i didnt think the 'andy + slavery' thing was handled as badly as everyone made it out to be when telling me about it. tho from the way it was talked about i had kind of figured the conflict between andy and nile re: slavery would be really racially charged (esp considering nile is a black american and would obvs have Thoughts on the subject in that regard) but like,, done in a cringey 'a-white-guy-obviously-wrote-it' kind of way? but it wasnt that. i mean. it makes sense that andy would be implicit in slavery through the years

i mean, like she says, is that not what people just did to each other in the aftermath of battles for thousands of years? and i really like how its pointed out that it was what she was raised with (in the beginning when you see her put shackles on that guy after the battle) but she also accepts responsibility for it and acknowledges that it was wrong and not just 'what people did'.

i like how from her expressions you can kind of tell baby andy knew it was off but she sets those feelings aside bc she felt angry. it explains how she felt but didnt make her out to be blameless in it. plus i mean. i dont know, the fact that andy was involved in a lot of morally shady stuff for 7000 years is not that wild for me. if you live that long youre just Going to be involved in some shit, and she didnt even have other immortals with her as positive community influences, she literally just did whatever the fuck she wanted for thousands of years

'i was worshipped as a god once' i mean, yeah no shit she wouldve been involved in some seriously fucked up stuff, gods were fucking scary back in the day

tldr it could use some polish but it wasnt that bad

tho everything people said about moose being boring was unfortunately a little true. sorry king i tried to be interested in you

joe and nicky writing verbal fanfiction about nile and moose was iconic. 'you seeing that?' 'i am definitely seeing that'

it was also extremely funny bc that was like 60% of their contribution to the whole comic, besides kidnapping copley. they came, they wrote some fanfic, they left. kings. at least in tog1 they had an excuse to be useless bc they got kidnapped

joe just found out his old friend who he thought was dead is alive (and also probably wants to murder them) and instead of investigating with andy he stopped to help nile up. champ.

nicky shooting noriko through andy was cool. rip to the concept since it wont happen in tog2

wanna see mr ejiofor deliver this line

on that note imo copley was. weirdly enough, more interesting in fm than in tog1. to me at least. the fact that andy let him live and he was so haunted by what had happened that he came back and sought them out despite knowing they would likely kill him for it bc he wanted to not only make up for what hed done but also to tell them what theyd done for the world was admittedly more interesting than andy just kind of drafting him to the cause and him going 'okie'

i like how nicky was drawn in this one. in opening fire he looks like a blob man but in fm he looks more like a very nice grampa with a very good dye job

'theres no pain like a broken heart' andy 🥺

noriko implying andy's never drowned. .. .idk about that one, she musta drowned sometime

joe and nicky came, they waxed poetic about nile's love life, they waxed poetic about grog, and then they left.

sports bras being a reason humanity is good. i mean..... okay, yeah.

i mean. wild but you cant exactly tell her shes wrong

i liked how noriko telling andy that their purpose is to make people suffer coincides with joe and nicky finding out that they actually did good all those years

joenicky in opening fire: jail for booker jail for booker for 100 years

joenicky when copley tells them he knows where booker is: WE'LL KILL YOU WHERE IS HE

joenicky when copley comes back: if your vibes come off as even remotely rancid we Will destroy you

joenicky 2 minutes later when copley helped them find booker: he made up some ground :)))) <3 lov you j cops

theyre forgiving af

moose: how old are you?? a hundred??? a thousand???

nile [vine voice]: I M 2 7 ?

alright andy you got me there

joe texts like my aunt

i dont know why noriko drowning andy in that car tickled me. Bad And Naughty Andromaches Get Put In The Pear Wiggler To Atone For Their Crimes.

the drowning sequence was cool

copley trying to talk to andy while she was like o_o at him was great

ive hit the picture limit but id seen that panel where nicky goes 'forgive me' as he kills a guy out of context and it was HILARIOUSLY anticlimactic for me to discover that there was literally no context to it. nicky just apologizes to random people he kills. i thought that guy was someone he knew or something. nope its just Some Guy that nicky didnt know from adam

nile's complaint that andy was especially brutal to the guys on the boat... i mean. . , how exactly does one kill a man with an axe and not be brutal about it?

it was funny how noriko kissed andy and the only people who seemed surprised by that were nile and also andy

nicky and joe's complete non-reaction to finding out noriko is alive And Evil Now is endlesly funny. they just left her on that boat and neither cared. i get book and nile not caring but joe and nicky knew her, and they just have 0 input on the subject of what to do with her

pinstripe suit guy!

joe and nicky and booker packing up and leaving with nile

andy blowing up at nile was A Moment tho

i dont know, i get why people didnt like the ending but its. .. . it makes more sense in the comicverse. bc the squad doesnt really. .. interact outside of jobs? i mean, think of the moon landing story in ttt. that was booker and joe and nicky doing a job and andy only showed up a for a couple minutes after it was done. or the brunch in the first issue of opening fire. the squad arent as tight in the comic, and andy often seems to do her own thing outside of work, so andy saying 'i dont want to do work anymore' and the squad being like 'alright bye then' makes more sense in this universe than the movie one

also i feel like greg was Trying to set up a thing where nile becomes the Leader of The Squad after andy dies but like. its not very well done since. . . i mean, nile hasnt spoken to booker since opening fire, (and she only knew him A Day). and shes known joe and nicky all that time, but there isnt really anything that indicates that they have any relationship at all, much less one that's grown. in all the comicverse the only time nile and nicky speak is in FM, and in that scene nicky tells nile about noriko. nile goes from someone who needs to be set aside to have background knowledge explained to her to being the Leader of the group with nothing in between. it kind of... comes out of nowhere.

on the other hand tho... i felt really bad for andy thru the whole thing. well, i always felt bad for andy, but in this one she seemed so miserable, especially since it really felt like none of the others actually.... cared about her. when noriko came back no one asked andy how she was doing (big question ik, but it wouldve showed they cared at least), nobody ever expressed any concern for her, no one even really seemed to want to be around her. in opening fire everyone was more distant than in the movie of course, but there were little moments where she would joke with joe, or nicky would try and comfort her, or stuff like that, but in FM it really felt like they just didnt really care about her. & in opening fire it felt a lot like andy's relationship with nile breathed some new life into her, but in FM it felt like all they did was argue. i get theyre not *as* close in the comics but it really felt like the only person who cared about andy at all was noriko (which was probably also how andy felt) but it just seemed to come out of nowhere. honestly i was reading and i was honestly agreeing with andy that she might just be better off if she did just die. opening fire, on the other hand, never make me feel that way

tho everyone made it sound like when the squad split up it was one of those cursed 'the found family leaves each other at the end of the journey' tropes. but guys i mean,,, this is the second installment out of three. that isnt the End. theyll come back in the third one and Dramatically Reunite to fight some baddies (probably those 'others' noriko mentioned). im guessing yitzhak fits into that too somehow.

anyways it wasnt That Bad but it made me kind of sad and the only Sweet Found Family vibes in it were when they saved booker. also they shouldve beefed up that nilemoose romance, it underwhelmed me. 6.5/10

i also ABSOLUTELY understand all of greg's comments about how you couldnt make FM directly into a movie, he always said that it had no plot and. i get it now. it really didnt have a plot sdfghjkl

[the-modernmary]

my best habit || aaron hotchner x reader (ch. 5)

Chapter summary: Aaron and the rest of the BAU finally make an arrest on their case, and you spend the weekend at Aaron’s.

Warnings: SMUT, oral (f receiving), multiple orgasms

prev. chapter || masterlist || read on ao3

I had a few, got drunk on you, and now I’m wasted

And when I sleep I’m gonna dream of how you tasted

- Harry Styles, “Medicine”

 ~~~~~~~

The investigation was slow going, and every day when you got off the metro to get to your internship, you would see the undercover van that you knew had BAU members cramped inside, sitting and waiting for somebody, anybody , to slip up and say something incriminating. 

  It was weird being at work knowing that it was bugged, but it did wonders for your productivity. Whenever Chris or another one of your friends at the office started to ask you about your personal life, you were able to deflect it with a quick “Sorry, I’m in the zone right now, and I’ve really got to focus!” Usually, you had no problem sharing, but you really didn’t want the FBI to have audio evidence of your retelling of you double fisting vodka Sprites the night before until you passed out in your bathtub. 

  You also hadn’t seen Aaron since that first night together, which was almost a week ago now. The two of you had been texting back and forth pretty consistently, but you quickly found that there was a variable that wasn’t there two years ago - Jack.

You should have realized that, of course , Jack would be living with Aaron now, but it never crossed your mind. Jack used to live with Haley, and Aaron rarely brought him up to you. Now that Jack lived with Aaron, it made things a little more complicated. It also meant that you couldn’t just show up at Aaron’s doorstep whenever you were feeling lonely, or vice versa. After a long and awkward phone call, Aaron and you had both agreed that it was best that Jack just didn’t meet you, just in case he got attached.

  “For now, at least,” Aaron had added at the end, and holy shit, you did not have the time to unpack whatever the fuck that meant.

  Especially not with Chris throwing a crumpled piece of paper at you like the two of you were in middle school and passing notes.

  You held up the ball of paper with a raised eyebrow. “Seriously? You have the desk across from me, you could have just said my name.”

  “What are you doing tonight?” he asked you, pointedly ignoring your question. “Nina just got the Catan expansion pack and she wants us all to come over.”

  You pursed your lips as you thought about the offer. You did love game nights with your friends, but it was Friday night and you were still holding out on the possibility of Aaron maybe being free and inviting you over. It was almost pitiful how touch starved you were after just a few days of not being with Aaron.

  “I’m not sure whether or not I’m busy tonight,” you admitted, maybe speaking a little too loudly in the direction of the listening devices, just in case Aaron was listening in. 

  Chris gave you a knowing smirk. “Oh, are you waiting to hear from your secret lover?”

  “Okay, don’t use the word ‘lover’ again,” you groaned. “And what makes you think that it was anything more than a one night stand?”

  “Because when you’re not actively texting, you’ve been checking your phone every 20 minutes.”

  Your face turned red as you sunk into your seat, trying and failing to hide yourself. Maybe if you willed it hard enough, the ground would open up and swallow you whole, just to save you from the embarrassment. You hadn’t realized you were checking your phone so often, but you also didn’t doubt it. 

  “Fine,” you grumbled, deciding that coming clean to your friends was going to be much easier than having to deal with them bringing it up at every moment possible. Besides, you didn’t have to give them all the details. “I will tell everybody all about him, but later . Not now.”

  Chris smirked as he leaned back in his chair, obviously proud of himself. You turned back to your work, mindlessly doing edits as you came up with a cover story in your head.

  Ran into an old friend, you could say. We got drinks, and then one thing led to another. That could work, except you came to the realization that you didn’t have any photos of Aaron, which would be suspicious if he was an old friend. You would have to look him up, which you were sure would just lead to a slew of FBI ID photos and news articles, which would mean that they’d just do some major googling of their own. You had avoided looking up Aaron, maybe in fear of what fucked up cases he had been involved in, but your friends would not hesitate.

  You could come up with something so ridiculous that they would just laugh about it. Yeah, I got a sugar daddy and he made me sign a nondisclosure agreement, sorry! You giggled to yourself just thinking about it. Aaron would probably be mortified at the thought. Although, he did wear a Rolex, so you guessed that anything was possible.

  “Holy shit, Y/N,” Chris mumbled, and you just gave a lazy hum as a reply, not really paying attention. “The FBI is here.”

  Your head snapped up at that . You whipped your head around so that you could face the entrance, and sure enough, the entire BAU team was walking in like they owned the place, with Aaron in the lead. They all had their FBI vests on, a sight which was way more attractive than it should have been. JJ and Reid stayed at the entrance to make sure nobody got out.

  “Everybody, please stay calm,” JJ called out, putting her hands up non threateningly. “Everything is okay, but we need you all to stay sitting exactly where you are.”

  A commotion came from the conference room and against your better judgment, you turned your head to watch what was going on. It wasn’t just one person getting arrested, it was every partner. You watched as Aaron spun Julian DuPont around by the wrist and pushed his face down on the conference table and oh, the FBI vest was nothing compared to watching Aaron arrest somebody.

  If anybody asked you if you got turned on during an FBI raid, you would vehemently deny it, but watching Aaron take out his handcuffs made your mind flash back to all those times you were in that same position, cuffed and bent over, completely at Aaron’s mercy. 

  Just as quickly as they came in, the BAU made their arrests and made their way back out. As Aaron passed your desk, his eyes met yours for a brief second and the corner of his mouth quirked up smugly. It was so subtle and quick that even you barely caught it, but you knew that look.

  At least you weren’t the only one in this situation with your mind in the gutter.

  Once the rest of the BAU was out of the building, JJ and Reid started the process of getting everybody else out of the office so that CSI could come in and finish looking around. When you passed by them, both agents greeted you with a warm smile, like the three of you were old friends.

  “Y/N, we’re going to need to get your statement before you go home,” Reid told you as you walked by, and you just nodded in confirmation.

  Once you got outside, you were immediately greeted by some agent named Anderson. He needed to get your statement on the work you did with the team, and you quickly gave him the PG version of the story. Your mind, however, was more focused on finding Aaron, who you knew had to be somewhere in the crowd. God, how long did it take to write down a simple statement?

  “I’ll take it from here, Anderson. Thank you.” 

  Aaron’s voice sent shivers down your spine and you spun around to look at him. You brought your bottom lip in between your teeth. “Nice arrest, although I’m surprised. Mr. DuPont doesn’t even drive himself to work, I can’t imagine him waiting out to kill somebody.”

  “That’s because he hired hitmen,” Aaron explained. “The victims were all bribing judges to get their cases dismissed, and all of those dismissed cases looked really bad for his prosecuting record.”

  You shrugged, placing your hands on his hips. “Probably not as bad as prison, though.”

  That actually got a laugh out of Aaron, but he quickly composed himself as another agent walked past the two of you. “Yeah, he’s not going to be practicing law ever again.” 

  You opened your mouth to say something - maybe to invite him over? You weren’t totally sure - when one of the CSI’s came over to ask Aaron something.

  Aaron waved him off, telling him that he would be there in a moment, before turning back to you. “My house will be empty all weekend,” he whispered, looking around to make sure nobody was watching. “Pack a bag, come over.”

  Before you could even answer him, Aaron had already taken off. You made your way towards the metro so that you could run home before heading to Aaron’s. You had to fight the smile that was growing on your face when Aaron mentioned packing a bag. Not only was it an unspoken promise of a weekend full of sex, it also meant that he was planning on making room for you to keep some of your stuff at his house. The two of you were quickly falling back into your old routines, and it was weirdly comforting.

  When you got to your house, you made a split second decision to change out of your work clothes into a more casual outfit, although it didn’t matter much what you were wearing. It’s not like it was going to stay on for very long. As you packed your bag, you ordered an Uber, knowing it would get you to Aaron’s place faster than the metro. 

  Sure, you were a little impatient, but it had been so long since you had spent the night at Aaron’s place. It always intrigued you how different it was at his house than it was at yours. You were just staying in a shoebox apartment while you were in college - something liveable and temporary until after you graduated and got a job where you could put actual roots down. Your decor was fairly minimum, an assortment of knick-knacks and photos of your friends.

  Aaron’s place was different. It was a certifiable, adult house with framed art and random decorative bowls scattered around. All of his kitchenware was a part of a matching set and his living room looked like all the pieces were picked out by an interior designer. In a weird way, being at Aaron’s house gave you a glimpse of the life you could have in just a few years. Sometimes, it was easy to imagine that you were a part of his world.

  You couldn’t think like that, though. Especially not when he greeted you at his door with an eager kiss, pulling you in so that you were pressed against him.

  “I’m going to use this entire weekend,” Aaron mumbled against your lips in between kisses. His hands slid up your sides, pulling your shirt off almost immediately. “To thoroughly and completely ruin you, until you can only say my name.” 

  Your fingers tangled in his hair as you smiled into the kiss, your fingers already working on the buttons of his shirt. A soft moan escaped your lips, which only encouraged him to deepen the kiss.

  The two of you stumbled towards Aaron’s bedroom, only detaching your lips when absolutely necessary and leaving a trail of clothes behind you. You needed to be naked, to feel your bare skin pressed against his. His hands were impossibly everywhere all at once - running up your thighs, cupping your breasts, and gripping your hips so hard that it was bound to leave bruises. Your body burned everywhere he touched and soon all you could think about was him and how badly you wanted him to touch you where it mattered.

  Once you got to his bedroom, Aaron pressed you against the wall. You tried to grind against him, but he moved one of his hands onto your hips so that he could hold you in place. His lips moved from your mouth to your neck, sucking just enough to make your back arch. “You have no idea how often I thought of you this week. How hard it was to listen to you and not think about how you sound when you’re begging for me. How badly I needed you.”

  Your nail scratched down his back lightly, just enough to elicit a soft hiss from him. “Desperation is unbecoming on you, Aaron,” you teased, knowing that would get a reaction out of him.

  It worked. One of his hands stayed on your hip, pressing you firmly against the wall, while his other hand tangled itself in your hair, pulling your head back so that your face was lifted up towards him. He kept you at an arm's distance as his eyes raked your body up and down hungrily.

  “I’m desperate?” he said scornfully. “Coming from the girl who is so needy that she couldn’t stay away from her phone for more than a few minutes, just waiting for me to want you. I could have called you at any time, and you would have dropped everything just to let me use you, isn’t that right? You’d let me do anything to you, just like the filthy slut you are.”

  You visibility gulped at his statement but you nodded obediently, which earned you a sharp tug of your hair.

  “Yes, Aaron, fuck ,” you gasped out. “I would have let you do anything at any time, just please…”

  Aaron gave you a predatory grin as the hand on your hip slowly made its way up your stomach until it cupped your right breast, thumbing lightly over your nipple. It wasn’t enough to get any real pleasure, but it made you moan all the same.

   “You did such a good job this week,” he murmured, looking at you almost worshipfully like he wanted to commit you to memory.  “I was going to give you whatever you wanted tonight. But maybe that would make me too desperate .”

  You tried to wiggle out of his grasp, but it was no use. “I- I-” you stuttered out. You couldn’t think straight.

  “I- I-,” Aaron mocked. “I thought you were a lot more intelligent than that. Come on, Y/N, whatever you want. Use your words. Unless pleasure’s turned you into a stupid whore.” He punctuated the last word with a light spank to your clit, which made you cry out and your legs instinctively try to close.

  “I want you to use your mouth,” you begged, arching your back in a pitiful attempt to create some form of contact. Your shoulders pressed against the wall was the only thing keeping you upright.

  “Where?” he asked all too casually.

  Your breathing was still shaky at best, but you forced yourself to make eye contact with Aaron. He looked back at you expectantly, waiting patiently for your answer.

  You slowly raised your hand to point to your left breast, which so far had been woefully ignored. “Here,” you said hesitantly, not sure whether or not he was going to tease you. While Aaron always gave you what you asked for eventually, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t make you beg for it first.

  To his credit, however, Aaron immediately bent down and attached his mouth to your nipple, his teeth gently scraping over the sensitive flesh. His eyes never left yours, he wanted to watch your reaction. 

  Feeling more confident, you cupped the sides of his face and pulled him off you, and the sound it made was obscene. “I want you to eat me out,” you whispered, blushing as you said it. “I want to feel myself cum on your face, please .”

  Aaron smirked as he slid down to his knees, kissing all the way down your stomach. “Good girl, you asked so nicely,” he mumbled against your skin and it sent shivers up your spine. He hooked one of your legs over his shoulder, giving him a perfect few of your pussy, slick with your arousal. “Look at you, dripping down your thighs before I’ve even started. Desperation is unbecoming on you, Y/N,” he mocked. He was using your words against you, and you didn’t even care. You just wanted him to do something, anything.

  Aaron ran a finger through your folds, ghosting over your clit. You hips bucked, desperate for more contact, but his finger was already gone. “Look at me,” he ordered, and as soon as you did, you were greeted with the image of Aaron admiring the wetness that was covering his finger. Then he stuck the finger in his mouth, smirking as he did, and you moaned out at the sight. “You taste so good, Y/N.”

  “Please, Aaron, I need you to- oh! ” you begged, but you were cut off by Aaron licking a strip up your center, still avoiding your clit.

  His hands came around and grabbed onto your ass as he got to work, lapping through your folds. You tangled your hands in his hair, rocking your hips against his mouth, craving more . His tongue teased at your clit, humming every once in a while in a way that sent vibrations throughout you. Without warning, he pushed two fingers into you curling them in just the right spot.

  As Aaron’s fingers pumped in and out of you, his lips focused solely on your clit. He flicked it once with his tongue before sucking, relishing in the way you moaned out his name. You tightened your grip in Aaron’s hair as your first orgasm hit you, your whole body shaking and a string of expletives leaving your mouth. But that didn’t stop Aaron.

  He added a third finger and replaced his mouth with his thumb on your clit. “You’re going to give me another one,” he practically growled. “And then I’m going to fuck you until you’re a whining mess. This is what you asked for isn’t it?”

  When you didn’t answer right away, he turned his head to the side and bit down on the sensitive flesh of your inner thigh, causing you to cry out. He sucked on that same spot for a little before dragging his tongue over the newly formed bruise.

  “Yes, I want that, Aaron,” you cried out. “I want you .”

  He reattached his lips to your folds with newfound vigor, making tight circles around your clit. His free hand snaked up your sides to your breast, pinching and twisting at your nipple. You continued to beg, although you weren’t sure what you were begging for exactly. All you knew was that you were so full of want , want for your second orgasm, and want for Aaron.

  Aaron fucked you with his fingers with ease, as if he had all the time in the world. You ground down on him again, chasing your orgasm the best you could. Your eyes were squeezed shut in pleasure, but you needed more. You opened your eyes, only to be met with Aaron’s blown pupils, eyes full of desire. You could almost feel his smirk as he wrapped his lips around your clit and pulled .

  The heel of your foot dug into his back as you cried out, your second orgasm twice as intense as your first one. Aaron’s fingers kept pumping into you lazily, and even your panting couldn’t cover the filthy sounds it was making. You could feel yourself dripping down your thighs.

  Aaron slowly removed his fingers from you and lightly swiped them over your clit once more as he stood up, which almost made you completely lose your balance, a sob tearing from your mouth.

  He held his glistening fingers in front of your mouth and you opened obediently, moaning as you tasted yourself on him. Your tongue swirled around his fingers, making sure to clean every trace of you off him.

  Aaron removed his fingers from your mouth. “Do you have one more in you?” he asked, and it was softer than you were used to. “It’s okay if you don’t. We have all weekend.”

  “I need your dick in me,” you said in lieu of an answer. “Please, please fuck me.”

  Aaron pulled you to his bed and you all but collapsed onto your back, your legs still shaking from your back to back orgasms. Aaron crawled on top of you, leaving a trail of kisses in his wake, all the way from your stomach to your mouth.

  “You’re so beautiful when you come for me,” he whispered, teasing your entrance with the head of his cock. All of his movements were gentle, bordering on caring. “Yelling out my name so that everybody can hear that you’re mine .”

  He pressed into you slowly, his first few thrusts shallow, and you could see that it was taking all of his willpower to keep teasing you like this. You dragged your nails down his back, not caring if it left marks on him.

  “Aaron,” you whimpered, bucking your hips to try and get more movement. “Please fuck me. I need more.”

  Aaron was always good at giving you what you wanted.

  His hips snapped into you harshly, and you had to attach your lips to his shoulder to keep from screaming out. Aaron thrusted into you hard and fast, wanting to feel every inch of you. He stretched you in all the best ways and your back arched off the bed. You were holding on to Aaron like a lifeline, and all he could do was grunt out your name over and over, repeating it like a prayer. 

  Your third orgasm came fast, spreading through your body like a wildfire, and you could feel the tears prick at the corners of your eyes at the overstimulation. Aaron’s thrusts became more desperate and harsher as he felt you squeeze around him. He dropped his head to your shoulder, his breathing ragged and you could tell that he was so close-

  “Cum for me… Fill me up,” you purred into Aaron’s ear, and that’s all it took for him to finish, holding himself deep inside you as his warmth filled you. The two of you stayed like that for a moment, both trying to catch your breath. You brought your head up to kiss Aaron, slowly and deliberately and filled with… something . You couldn’t figure out what it was yet.

  Aaron pulled out of you slowly and flopped onto the bed next to you, but he reached over and held your hand. The two of you laid like that for several moments, giving yourselves time to come back down to reality. Finally, Aaron rolled on his side to check on you. You admired the flush on his body, especially as it rose to his cheeks and made him look like he was practically glowing.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, his thumb rubbing lazy circles on your hand. “Can I do anything?” 

  You turned your head to smile at him, giving his hand a squeeze, before sitting up. Aaron was always so careful about aftercare, which you were immensely appreciative of. “Oh, I’m fine, I’m just going to go to the bathroom. A UTI might ruin the mood,” you joked.

  When you returned, Aaron was already in a pair of pajama pants and sitting in bed. He had also laid out one of his shirts for you, which caused your stomach to do flips. Despite the fact that you actually did pack pajamas, you chose to wear his shirt. You could feel his eyes watching your every movement as you made your way back into bed, leaning back against the headboard.

  Aaron placed an arm around your shoulders and you leaned into him, catching his lips in another kiss, this one soft and sensual. You placed your hand on his bare chest as the kiss deepened, and Aaron’s fingers ghosting over your skin sent shivers down your spine.

  “So,” you murmured against his lips. “What are your plans for me this weekend?” It was partially a joke, but you wanted to be as prepared as possible for just how sore you were going to be on Monday after an entire three days of being thoroughly wrecked by Aaron.

  Aaron’s lips curved up into a smile as he dropped a kiss on the top of your head, letting his lips linger for just a second too long. “Hm, we can play it by ear. Although, I was thinking Indian for dinner tomorrow night?”

  You were too old to get butterflies, but there was something so soft and so sincere in his reply that it made your stomach do flips. Aaron yawned, probably not even giving a second thought to his reply, and pulled you in closer to him. 

  “Yeah,” you conceded, closing your eyes. “Indian sounds good.” You could deal with the butterflies later.

[css1992]

Guilty Pleasure

[Porn AU]

Summary: Peter and Beck used to be a power couple in the porn industry, but after Beck dumps him, Peter is forced to start over. With no money, no family and nowhere to go, he doesn’t have much choice other than to keep doing porn, so he joins Just4Fans to get back on his feet and then one day he gets a very generous tip from someone under the username of YKWIM.

All the warnings listed on Part I apply.

Read on AO3

Part I / Part II / Part III / Part IV / Part V / Part VI / Part VII / Part VIII / Part IX / Part X /  Part XI / Epilogue

-x-

The last couple of weeks of May flew by, soon June arrived and with it even more sunny days and warmer temperatures. Peter couldn’t help but think that his life fell apart in the winter, and as summer approached, it was slowly getting back on track. He was able to save a decent amount of money every month, his apartment was coming together – he even had a dinner table and chairs by the second week of June –, he was taking on more responsibility at BFF way quicker than expected and he was happier, in general.

He felt comfortable enough to make plans again – with the steady money he was making, he might be able to give up porn in a couple of years and he would still be eligible to apply for some of BFF’s grants and scholarships, meaning he may be able to go to college at 23, after all. Money would be tight for a while, but it was doable. He could always work part-time to supplement his income as well.

Summer also brought some unexpected good news. On a random Thursday morning, he was bombarded with messages on Twitter and Instagram from people asking where they could find his videos now that Beck’s channel was down. He was confused at first, but when he went to check, the channel wasn’t there, it had disappeared from the site.

He gasped. For a total of five seconds, his mind went wild, his heart raced, and his eyes watered. For those five seconds, he felt a mixture of happiness, relief and confusion, knowing those videos weren’t out there anymore, couldn’t be found, couldn’t be seen, couldn’t be remembered. But it was only for five blissful seconds. When his brain turned back on and the first rush of excitement died down, he realized that probably wouldn’t last.

That had happened before, when they first started posting. People mass reported the videos and the channel until they got taken down, because Peter looked very young at eighteen. They had to send a picture of his ID to the website for check several times, it was months before it stopped happening once and for all. Peter assumed Beck was posting videos of his new boyfriend, who he knew looked very young, so it was probably just a misunderstanding and only a matter of time until he got the channel – and the videos – back up.

Still, he allowed himself to count that as a win and couldn’t help but feeling giddy all day, to the point where everybody noticed his good mood – Ned, MJ, people at BFF and Tony.

Tony, who didn’t disappear. As days and nights and weeks went by, Peter stopped waiting for it to happen.

“Someone is awfully cheery today.” The older man grinned at him from the driver’s side that night, as Peter sang along to Ed Sheeran, because it was his turn to choose the playlist. Tony had picked him up from BFF and they were heading to his place for a quiet night in.

“It’s a good day, Tony.” He shot back after the chorus of Put it All on Me and the older man beamed, the corners of his eyes crinkling up.

“It sure is, kitten.” He turned up the volume and Peter sang even louder, causing Tony to burst out laughing.

At some point, he realized life was a little less complicated than he gave it credit for. He realized that if he actually gave things the precise amount of thought they deserved, not everything felt like the end of the world. The minute he decided to just let things happen the way they were supposed to happen, without overthinking every detail, life got so much easier.

He decided not to make the thing with Tony a big deal. Sure, when he thought about it for more than two minutes, it seemed like a huge fucking deal, he was basically dating Tony Stark, one of the richest men in the world, Iron Man himself, the man who had literately saved half the universe from extinction not even two years earlier. So, yes, that seemed like a big fucking deal, but–

But.

To him, he was just Tony. This charming guy who texted him daily to ask about his day and crack acid jokes about his business associates. This kind guy who sent him chocolates when he was feeling down and cooked him dinner every weekend and made sure to e-mail him easy and healthy recipes so he wouldn’t starve to death. This gentle guy who called him beautiful and touched him with such care that he forgot how many hands had left bruises on his skin before.

When he forgot everything Tony was supposed to be and just focused on everything that he was to him, what they had seemed so simple and pure.

He stopped worrying about labels, too. In the beginning, he kept stressing about what they had, what was expected of him, what he expected of Tony, but eventually, he decided none of that mattered. They made each other feel good, they made each other happy, they made each other better, all in all, whatever label he could put on their relationship wouldn’t make any difference, so he let it go.

Weeks later, Peter heard Beck had managed to get the channel back up, only for it to get taken down again in a few hours, then his Instagram and Twitter also disappeared. He wasn’t too surprised, and if he was honest with himself, it was fun imagining Beck losing his mind as he tried to fix it. After all, every day the channel was down, he was losing money. And his social media, specially his Twitter account, was where he promoted his content to thousands of followers, so losing that meant losing money as well, and if there was one thing Peter knew Beck loved, it was money.

He wondered what the fuck the man had done to piss people off like that, it was clearly a coordinated attack, but he wasn’t curious enough to try and find out what happened. He would rather watch from a distance, rejoicing in the satisfaction it gave him to imagine that maybe, just maybe, one of those days Beck wouldn’t be able to get the channel back up and would have to start from scratch, like Peter did. And maybe then he wouldn’t re-upload his videos – that part was a little harder to believe, but who knew, stranger things had happened.

When June came to an end, Peter was surprised with a notification from Tony on Just4Fans. He had almost forgot the man was still subscribed to his account there, they obviously never chatted on the app anymore, and when he opened the notification, his blood ran cold in his veins.

It was a tip.

A hundred thousand dollars tip.

He couldn’t fucking believe it. A tip? For what, a job well done? It wasn’t like Peter was – what did that even mean? Was Tony trying to say something with that, send some kind of message?

He decided not to call him right away, he was too – upset. The older man was picking him up later that evening for dinner, so he decided to wait. Whatever he had to say to him, he wanted to hear it in person. He wanted him to look in his eyes and tell him he thought he was his fucking wh–

“What is the meaning of this?” He asked as soon he got in his car, avoiding the kiss that came his way. Tony blinked in surprise, trying to understand why he got a phone shoved in his face instead of a kiss, and then he finally saw what that was all about.

“Oh, that–“ But before he could answer anything, Peter interrupted.

“I told you I’m not – Tony, why would you – this is so insulting!” He was honestly at a loss for words. They had been seeing each other for almost two months by then, things were going great, they met every week, they made apple pie together, for God’s sake, had he misunderstood all the signs?

“My God, Peter, that’s not that, I just thought – I mean, I’m a billionaire, you know this is pocket change for me, right?” Peter gasped, shocked, and Tony’s eyes widened when he fumbled with the door handle. “Wait! I didn’t mean – Jesus, okay, hold on a second, please!” Tony reached over him to shut the door before Peter could get out of the car. The young man turned to look at him with tears in his eyes and Tony looked incredulous when he leaned back and ran a hand through his hair. “Don’t just assume the worst, have I given you any reason for that?” He sounded hurt, which made Peter gulp. He took a few calming breaths and shook his head slowly.

“No,” he whispered, dropping his gaze.

“Ok, good.” He actually sounded relieved at that. “I am a billionaire, Peter, and this is pocket change for me, which means –“ he raised his voice a little, predicting a reaction from him that didn’t come, “I didn’t realize this would be such a big deal. For me, it’s like giving you, I don’t know, flowers. I didn’t mean this as a payment for whatever you think this is, I just thought this would be a good help. You’re starting your life now, you have that list of yours that you don’t let me see, you’re saving up money, you have your plans for college, I just meant to help. I mean, if we weren’t together, I would have tipped you every month, so I thought –“

“But we are together, Tony, I –“ he was a little calmer then, because that was, in fact, a reasonable explanation and he shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. “Look, I appreciate the gesture, but next time you mean to give me flowers, just give me flowers! I believe you have the best intentions at heart, but it’s just weird for me. I don’t want this to be about money. I just – don’t want that, okay?”

He gazed at the older man as he gaped at him, mouth opening and closing, but no sound came out for a while.

“I just thought – I mean, people usually –“ It was unusual to see Tony speechless like that, but the man shook his head and looked back at him, almost embarrassed. “I just want to help you.”

“Are you kidding me?” Peter poked him in the arm, trying to lighten up the mood in the car. “You’re teaching me how to cook. Yesterday I made an omelet and I only burned one side, I’m getting good at this. That’s a big help.”

Tony didn’t laugh at his joke, like he usually did, he just gazed at him with an unreadable expression, before leaning in to kiss him, which Peter gladly reciprocated.

“I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable,” he whispered, then, resting his forehead against his.

“And I’m sorry I was rude. It won’t happen again,” he promised, and he meant it.

After that night, he removed Tony from his Just4Fans, which came as a blow to the older man, who pouted and whined for about a week, only stopping when Peter showed up at his place one Saturday wearing Iron Man lingerie under his clothes – it was supposed to be a joke, but it worked surprisingly well for Tony.  

By July, it became impossible to keep sneaking around Ned and MJ, as the dates became more frequent. Peter decided to tell them that he had met someone online and that they were getting to know each other. He told them it was nothing serious yet and if it became serious, they would meet him.

He did have to throw in a few lies to get them off his back – he definitely had to lie about Tony’s age to avoid certain comparisons, but he would cross that bridge when he got to it, if he ever got to it. He wasn’t sure if or when he was going to tell them the whole truth, but for the time being, he  felt more comfortable keeping that relationship to himself.

He and Tony didn’t go out much, but when they did, it was always to fancy and discreet restaurants with private rooms; Tony was, after all, a celebrity for all intents and purposes, and at if the press got a whiff of them there would be no secret left to keep.

But staying in with Tony was far from boring. They cooked together and the older man taught him all of his grandmother’s secret recipes – Peter could never replicate them by himself at home, but it was still fun trying. They spent almost all of their time down in the workshop, though, where Tony  had him do menial tasks, like screwing bolts or reaching for a part inside an Iron Man suit. He said his tiny hands were useful for his projects.

He knew he wasn’t really that useful, but he loved when Tony included him and asked for his help, even though he didn’t really need it. He was fascinated by everything the older man taught him in those moments and in turn Tony always looked proud and pleased when Peter put his lessons to use.

He didn’t mind keeping him company when Tony was focused on projects he couldn’t help with, he stayed there anyway, reading a book or watching TV on the tiny couch – Tony kept saying he was going to get a bigger one, but he didn’t believe it, he knew the older man enjoyed the fact that the only way they could fit comfortably on it was if Peter was lying half on top of him.

So after several weeks, they established a little routine of their own. Since Tony had a busy schedule and Peter was still trying to keep Ned and MJ somewhat in the dark, they didn’t meet that often on week days, but they always talked on the phone before bed. On Thursdays, Tony picked him up after his shift at BFF and he spent the night at his place. They had breakfast together on Fridays and then they met again every Saturday after lunch, and finally Tony dropped him back off home every Sunday evening, so he could have dinner with his friends.

In August, for the first time in his life, Peter had two birthday celebrations. One with his friends, when the three of them went bar-hopping and he got home so hammered he had absolutely no idea how they managed to climb the stairs, and another with Tony, when he decorated the workshop with  balloons and put party hats on Dum-E and U.

“Surprise!” He yelled lamely, throwing confetti at Peter when they stepped into the workshop. The younger man laughed, delighted, as Tony hurried to the kitchenette and came back with something in his hands. “I know it doesn’t look good, but I promise it tastes good. Probably.” When Peter looked down, he noticed it was a large chocolate cake with ‘Happy Birthday, kitten’ written on it in bright pink icing. It looked so ugly, but it was so beautiful at the same time. “What did I do now?” Tony frowned, face falling.

He blinked a few times and when he touched his cheeks, he realized he was crying.

“I’m sorry, I’m just – really happy.” He grinned, pulling the older man’s face to give him a kiss. “Thank you.”

It was late October when Tony told him he had to go on a trip to China for two weeks, and even though it wasn’t his first work trip since they started dating, five months earlier, it would be by far the longest one since then, so it was kind of a big deal. Still, he didn’t expect to feel so affected, but on the days leading up to it he was so upset he couldn’t hide it.

They spent their last Sunday together wrapped up in each other doing absolutely nothing. They slept in, Tony brought Peter breakfast in bed, which was rewarded with a lazy and sloppy blow job, and they spent all day in bed, only getting up for essentials, like food and water. They didn’t even turn on the TV, they didn’t even talk much. They just held each other and exchanged slow, tender kisses until their bodies were too warm to stay under the sheets.

Tony ran a bath for them and got in the tub – it was big enough for eight people, but Peter made a point to sit in his lap, clinging to him like a koala. He felt Tony’s arms encircle him gently, as he rested his chin on top of his head.

“I’ll be home before you even have time to miss me, kitten.” He whispered, and those were the first words either of them had said in at least a few hours.

Peter didn’t tell him that was impossible since he already missed him, instead he just held him even tighter.

After the bath water went cold, they climbed out of the tub and Tony insisted on drying him, before dressing him in one of his own T-shirts, even though Peter had a multitude of spare clothes in his closet. He sat in bed, watching Tony pack a huge suitcase that reminded him just how long he would be gone for. He sulked a little – just a little – and that earned him a little kiss on his forehead, which was enough to undo the frown between his brows.

Finally, in the evening, Tony parked his car in front of Peter’s building, turning to look at him with an almost pained smile, before leaning in for a kiss.

“I’m gonna miss you,” Peter whispered against his mouth and felt when Tony’s lips stretched into a small smile. He pulled away a little, just enough to look into his eyes, and cupped his chin in his hand.

“I’ll miss you too, but I won’t be long, ok? It’s just a few days.” He pecked Peter’s lips one more time for good measure and the younger man nodded.

“Call me if you have time.”

“Of course, kitten, every day.” He leaned in for another kiss, this one longer than the previous, and Peter’s heart fluttered. He took a deep breath and slowly let it out, containing the urge to say those three words that had been trapped in the back of his throat for weeks.

“Have a safe trip. Let me know when you land.”

“I will, baby.”

Peter got out of the car and waved, watching as it disappeared down the street. He sighed and his heart ached, he already missed Tony and it had only been a few seconds, how was he going to survive fifteen whole days? It seemed impossible. It was crazy to think how far they had come since March, when they talked for the first time. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

He turned to go inside, but froze in place when he heard a familiar voice.

“So that’s why you’ve been ignoring me, huh? How rude.” He turned slowly to the left, only to be met with Beck’s cocky, arrogant smile, just a few feet away from him. “I tried calling, I tried texting, you’ve blocked me everywhere, I can’t even e-mail you anymore, it appears.” Beck walked slowly and leaned against the rails of the stairs to Peter’s building and the younger man curled his hands in fists, trying to control the urge to just run. “Long time no see, Petey-pie.”

He was paralyzed, muscles rigid, but to his own surprise, it wasn’t fear that he felt, or sadness. It was pure anger.  

“I wonder why,” he answered quietly, but firmly. Beck’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline, before the smile was back in place. “How did you find me?” He demanded, because Beck had never cared to ask where Peter was going to stay after he kicked him out, so how in the hell would he know where to find him?

“Wasn’t easy, I have been following you on Instagram, some of your morning run routes seemed familiar, so I–”

“You stalked me?” He frowned, taking a step closer to the other man, who looked at Peter with indignation and hurt. He shook his head, softened those baby blue eyes and placed one hand over his chest, right above where his heart would have been if he had one.

“I just wanted to see you, is all.” He shrugged, dropping his gaze to stare at his own feet, and Peter wanted to roll his eyes. It was so weird watching his whole act now that the spell had been lifted.

“What do you want?” He asked, making the older man’s head snap back up, a little surprised by his cold tone.

“I just told you, I wanted to see you. I missed you.” He took a few steps towards Peter, who in turn walked backwards to keep his distance

“You missed me?” He scoffed, shaking his head. “Where’s your new boy-toy, you put him away so you could come play with me?” He cocked his head to the side and, for a moment, he could see the shock crossing his features.

“Pete… Why are you acting like this, it’s like I don’t even know you anymore...” His voice broke and he looked away, pretending to wipe away a tear. He wondered how the hell he used to fall for that.

“You don’t, Quentin. I’m not a lost little boy anymore, you should go back to your boyfriend. Or is he smarter than me and dumped you already? Is that what this is all about?” He narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest, and Beck’s mouth hung open like he couldn’t believe his words.

“I made a mistake, Pete. After so many years, I took you for granted, I couldn’t see what I saw the first time I met you. I couldn’t see how beautiful you were, how caring and loving you were, how loyal and reliable and – I don’t know, I was blind. I was so stupid, I shouldn’t have left you.” His eyes were wide, earnest, shining with unshed tears. His face was open, even his body language screamed honesty. Suddenly, he didn’t feel so bad about falling for his act – Beck was good. “Don’t  you miss me, baby? Don’t you miss us?”

Peter snorted, shaking his head, he couldn’t believe the nerve of that man.

“You made a mistake, huh? So you dumped your new boy, right? If I were to go home with you right now, he wouldn’t be there, waiting for you, like a fucking plan B, in case this doesn’t go your way. Right?” It was his turn to take a few steps towards the older man. “Like I was your plan B while you waited for him to turn 18?”

“Peter, c’mon–“

“Is he there, Beck? Just answer me that. Come on, if he’s not, I’ll take you back right now, we can go home together.” He insisted, looking into the older man’s eyes, but he didn’t say anything, he just sighed. “Of course he is. If I said yes, what would you do? Tell him to pack his things in the middle of the night and leave? Would you keep all the money he’s made you and tell him to fuck off? Would you leave him broke and lonely and fucking lost in this world? Would you tell him that he wasn’t good enough and dispose of him like he’s fucking garbage?” His voice grew louder and louder, and when he came to himself, he noticed he was in Beck’s face, their chests almost touching, so he took a step back. “So to answer your question, Quentin, no, I don’t fucking miss you. You fucking ruined me!”

“I saved you!” And just like that, the good guy act was gone. His whole demeanor changed, the soft baby blues widened, his mouth was set in a sneer, he puffed out his chest to intimidate him, but Peter stood his ground. “Don’t pretend you don’t remember who you were before me. You were a fucking loser! An orphan, no family, no friends, no future! I took you in, I took care of you, I gave you a profession – don’t fucking roll your eyes, what the fuck are you doing now, huh? Rocket science? ‘Cause it seems to me like you’re still doing porn, and now you’re clearly branching out into prostitution, would you look at that!”

“You have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about!” He placed his hands on the man’s chest and pushed him away when he got too fucking close for comfort. He held his breath when he realized what he had done, afraid of the man’s reaction, but he just kept his distance.  

“You know what? Fuck you, Peter. I was wrong about you, I thought I knew who you were, I thought I missed you, but you’re just a disgusting fucking whore, after all. You’re a dirty little bitch in heat who likes to get this loose hole of yours fucked by old perverts, I don’t know why I’m surprised, I mean, that’s why I dumped you, you were enjoying those videos a little bit too much for my taste. You weren’t even satisfied with two cocks up your ass, one in your mouth and a line of men waiting to fuck you. You disgust me.” He started walking away, and Peter wanted to say something, he wanted to yell at him and defend himself, he wanted to tell him he didn’t fucking enjoy it, he wanted to tell him that it was all his fault, he threw him to the lions, he let those men fucking–

Fuck!

He rushed inside the building and ran upstairs, eyes clouded with tears. He tripped and fell knees first on the steps, but he didn’t even feel pain, he just got up and kept going, kept running, trying to put as much distance between him and Beck as he could, even though it was irrational. Beck was gone, he walked away, he left him, he left him again, he wasn’t coming back–

“Ned?!” He knocked urgently on his friends’ door. He didn’t have his spare key, it was upstairs in his own apartment, but he couldn’t trust himself to go all the way up there and down again without having a full on panic attack. “MJ?! Are you guys home?!” He was really trying not to sound too desperate, he didn’t want to scare them, but it was hard controlling his emotions when his heart was hammering against his chest and he couldn’t fucking breathe.

“Peter?” It was MJ who yanked the door open. She had a towel wrapped around her torso, her hair was wet, and Peter felt guilty, but she took one look at him and quickly pulled him into a hug. “My God, Peter...” She whispered into his hair when he started sobbing uncontrollably on her naked shoulder. “Come on in, c’mon.” He heard the door closing behind him, but he didn’t let go of her, he felt like if he did, he wouldn’t be able to hold himself together.  

He wanted to tell her not to worry, that she should go finish her shower and change, but he really, really needed her right then. She sat down on the couch, pulling him with her and he promptly laid down, burying his face in her legs. He couldn’t stop crying and sobbing and no matter how many times she asked him what was wrong, sounding increasingly more worried, he couldn’t get his feelings under control enough to give her any answer.

He was there for what felt like hours, when at some point someone lifted him from MJ’s lap and enveloped him in such a tight hug he couldn’t breath for a second, but he sighed in relief, it was right what he needed. Ned’s arms felt like home, it calmed him down almost instantly – his voice whispering that it was fine, everything was going to be okay helped a lot, too.

“I hate him, I hate him so fucking much,” he mumbled into his shoulder, God knew how much time later, and his friend just hummed, patting his back. “I hate that he made a mess of me and I let him.” He couldn’t hold back more tears when he said that, because it was true, it was so fucking true. He let Beck do whatever he wanted to him, he let him ruin his dreams, his future, his fucking personality, until he was nothing but a shell of what he used to be.

“I know, Peter, I know,” Ned soothed him, rubbing his back, even though he probably had no idea what he was talking about. “It’s okay now. You’re okay. It’s over”

“I made tea.” MJ’s quiet voice sounded somewhere from his right and when he turned to look at her, she was already dressed, wet hair up in a bun, with a mug in her hands, which she extended to him. He accepted it but didn’t dare to take a sip, he was positive that if he did, he would throw up, his stomach was all kinds of fucked up at that moment. “Peter, what happened? Did Star – uh, did your boyfriend do something? Did he hurt? ‘Cause I swear to God–” Just the mention of Tony being the cause of his distress made him sick, so he cut her off.

“Beck was here.” He sniffed, looking at the mug to avoid their eyes when he heard both of them gasping.

“Beck? Beck was here? Fucking Beck?” MJ screeched and he nodded.

“He was waiting for me outside.” He rubbed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to gather enough energy to have that conversation.  

“What did he want?” Ned asked calmly, while MJ paced the floor, furious.

“I don’t know...” He shrugged, wrecking his brain to try and figure out what his motive was. “His channel got taken down a few weeks ago and he couldn’t get it back up. I heard he had to start over.” He hadn’t been watching that closely, but he knew something was wrong, even his Twitter and Instagram accounts kept getting taken down almost monthly, it was impossible he was making any money over the past few months. “He said he wanted to get back together, probably because he thinks us making up would be a big hit or whatever. I said no, of course. He didn’t like the answer.”

“Did he hurt you?!” MJ strode back to him until she was standing right in front of him, looking into his eyes. He was almost intimidated by her.

“No, he just… Said some pretty shitty things, is all,” he answered sheepishly, because he hated that that man could still make a mess of him with just a few hurtful words.

“Oh, dude. He’s just mad he’s lost control over you. Whatever he said, he just wanted to hurt you, it doesn’t mean anything.” Ned placed an arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer, and Peter rested his head against his, sighing.

“I know. He was always like that, you know,” he whispered, as flashes of memories crossed his mind. “When I didn’t bend to his wishes, when I didn’t do things his way, he fucking–“ He squeezed his eyes shut, furious, because he had fallen for that again. “He tries to charm me and when it doesn’t work, he attacks me. But the thing is, he really knows what to say to destroy me. It just sucks. But it’s fine. I just need a moment, I’ll be fine.” He sat up straight and looked both of his friends in the eyes.

“Yes, you will. You most certainly will.” Ned patted his shoulder one last time, getting up from the couch. “Why don’t you lie down for a second, huh? I’m making dinner, I’ll even try one of those recipes your mystery boyfriend taught you.” Just the mention of Tony made him breathe a little easier, even though he wouldn’t be able to see him for a while.

“Okay.” He nodded, smiling softly. MJ took Ned’s place on the couch and he lay down, placing his head on her legs, as she ran her fingers through his hair. He sighed contently and closed his eyes, feeling exhausted. He was close to drifting off when he heard Ned gasp.

“Oh my God,” He breathed quietly from the kitchen and both Peter and MJ looked at him curiously from over the back of the couch.

“What?” She didn’t look too worried, but Peter was concerned about how pale he was.

“Ned, what’s wrong?” He frowned, watching Ned’s horrified expression looking at his phone like it was a murder scene. He raised his eyes and gulped.

“Peter is trending on Twitter,” he whispered, after a while.

“What?!” They both hurried over to the kitchen counter, and the first thing Peter saw when he looked at his phone was a picture of him and Tony in his car, kissing. As Ned scrolled down, more pictures showed up, but not only that, clips of his old videos were all over Twitter, people knew his full name, his real name, and they were making all sorts of comments. Iron Man, Tony Stark, Peter Parker, sex worker, prostitute and porn were trending.

The room was completely silent for a whole minute, before MJ turned on the TV.

“… appear that Tony Stark, former CEO of Stark Industries and retired Avenger, was seen kissing a young man in his car earlier this evening. The person in the pictures seems to be one Peter Parker, a twenty-one year old porn actor, who is also said to work as a prostitute…”

Peter’s heart sank to the bottom of his stomach, his vision blurred and he felt bile rising in his throat. He took a deep breath and got up from the couch, ears ringing, as he rushed to the front door.  He heard his friends yelling something, but he couldn’t make out their words, and he just couldn’t deal with all that right then and there.

“I, uhm, I gotta go,” he called from over his shoulder, slamming the door shut on his way out.

As he ran upstairs, vision blurred by tears and chest hurting, begging for oxygen, he couldn’t help but remember his life fell apart in the winter. And fall would be over soon.

-x-

So... It appears that someone has lost the ability to write short chapters... 

Anyways, only three more chapters to go!  🥳

Tag list (please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed from the list):  @sadachmesarthim @iamnotparticularlyproud @staticwhispersinthedark @bluestarker @ whyisthisathingcb

[bonniebelleklyde]

Ahhh I've read your loceit fic like 10 million times and I love how you write them! Do you have any loceit headcanons you'd like to share?

Aw, you’re so sweet anon-- thank you!! OF COURSE I have Loceit headcanons; they take up an absurd amount of room in my brain. Here’s a few:

Janus has been very bothered-- and increasingly vocal-- about the other sides’ tendency to disregard Logan for a good long while now. For a long time, he’s able to rationalize this to himself. Janus’s chief concern, after all, is Thomas’s wellbeing. And he just cannot understand why no one else seems to see the value of listening to the Literal Voice of Reason as far as Thomas’s health and happiness is concerned. That is the only reason it bothers Janus as much as it does every time Logan’s shut out of a conversation. (Shut up, yes it is.)

The fact that Janus once walked in on Logan in literal tears of frustration after being ignored and dismissed for the umpteenth time and felt his heart crack promptly in two has absolutely nothing to do with it.

Logan thinks that Janus is essentially the coolest person on earth. Janus is obviously highly intelligent, and he has a curiosity not unlike Logan’s. And yet Janus can speak in a way that commands other people’s attention-- even against their will at times. Logan would give his left arm to be listened to like that, and he admires the heck out of Janus for the natural ability.

Of course, Logan is listened to--raptly even-- by Janus himself. Janus could genuinely listen to Logan lecture about anything for hours. Janus delights in learning new things but doesn’t have the patience or the attention span to go and read full text books like Logan. He’d rather be taught, and who really but Logan is going to teach him? Plus, there is a very specific, giddy smile that Logan sports when he is particularly enthusiastic about a topic of conversation, and Janus’s heart stops every single time.

Janus will often start word association games in Logan’s presence without warning. He’ll take the last word that someone says and name something in a similar category while watching Logan out of the corner of his eye. Logan figures out pretty quickly what’s happening whenever Janus starts spouting off random words and always plays along. 

[Roman: Never fear! Your savior is-- Janus: Hero. Roman: Wha--why, thank you, I-- Logan: Hercules. Janus: Roman. Roman: ...yes? Logan: Caesar. Janus: Ides. Logan: Fifteen. Janus: Number. Logan: Trigonometry. Janus: Hipparchus. Roman: WHAT IS HAPPENING?!]

There is literally nothing more charming or endearing to Logan than when Janus does this.

After the two pining idiots finally do get together, they both go through a period of disbelief-- neither one can wrap their head around the other having real feelings for them. Logan moves past this first because all the observable evidence points to Janus being smitten. Janus, though...he struggles a lot with it. He manages to convince himself that he inadvertently tricked/manipulated Logan into falling for him and that Logan will leave him the moment he finds out.

Logan catches wind of this and creates a very lengthy, itemized, color-coded spreadsheet detailing every positive aspect of Janus he can put into words. It is alarmingly, sickeningly sweet in a way that Logan doesn’t even realize. Janus has to lock himself in the bathroom to compose himself for several minutes, but things get better after that.

Janus is a secret romantic and has seemingly infinite pet names for Logan. His favorites are dearheart, sweetheart and “love of mine” because he is both Dramatic and Old Fashioned.

Logan is not a romantic in the traditional sense and never once uses an actual pet name for Janus. But he has this very sweet, affectionate way of calling the other “you” that melts Janus’s heart right down to liquid. (Ex: “hello, you,” “good morning, you,” etc.)

Janus has a soft spot for sleepy Logan, and for Logan in pajamas of any kind. It’s no coincidence that Logan can be found in loungewear during the day far more often after they get together.

[smol-and-grumpy]

EUPHORIA - Chapter 5

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: He’s Dean Winchester, owner of a shady night club. She’s a journalist who has been asked to write an article to expose the indecency and debauchery that’s going on behind closed doors. But he’s also Dean Winchester, the boy who sat next to her in class. The boy who was too cocky for his own good.

Chapter Warning: Flangst. Feelings. Yeah, definitely feelings.

WC: 2822

A/N: Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.

Beta’d by @deanwanddamons​​​​​​ <3

Series Masterlist ~ SPN Masterlist

Become a Patron ~ Buy me a coffee

Dean paces around in his office. 

He’s restless and fucking agitated, muttering curses under his breath. Dean has had an awful sleep, if he has had any sleep at all, he doesn't really know. He remembered going to bed and then it was morning and there was still no fucking message. It’s like he’s in his teens or early twenties again, only that it was the other way around back then. He was the one who ghosted all those girls and he can’t lie, it’s a fucking awful feeling. Dean would go back and right his wrongs if he could. He’d be frank with them from the start instead of giving them hope. 

Karma has its own fucking way, apparently.

They should have met yesterday. She should have come around. He waited way too long and was grumpy all fucking night about it. Was grumpy because she didn’t send him a text to tell him that she can’t make it. Which, in hindsight, he thinks was so unlike her, but what does he know? Maybe she changed after all. Maybe she likes fucking with his head. He didn’t want to be like, all over her, so he didn’t call or text either.

Now, it’s close to opening time to a new day, and she still hasn’t contacted him. What’s the fucking etiquette about texting or calling someone? He doesn’t know, and it’s driving him fucking nuts!

He sits himself onto the couch in his office and rubs a hand over his face when his phone vibrates in his pockets. Dean takes it out, looks at the caller ID, hoping that it was her but he doesn't recognize the number. Maybe it’s her? Maybe she lost her phone and has a new number? But if she lost her phone she would have lost his number too, wouldn’t she? He doesn’t know, alright? Dean groans out of frustration before sliding his thumb over the screen to pick up.

“Hello?”

“Yes, hello. Is that Dean Winchester?” It’s a male voice.

“Who’s asking?” He hopes it’s not a fucking marketing call because Dean has zero patience for that and he would give the guy hell.

“This is Rufus Turner, I’m Y/N’s supervisor. I believe she’s been to your club and she reported in three nights ago, but we haven't heard anything from her since and she hasn’t picked up the phone when we have called. It goes straight to voicemail. It’s a long shot to be asking you this, but maybe you’ve heard from her? You were supposed to meet again yesterday, no?” Mr Turner pauses before he adds, “Look, I wouldn't normally do this, but she told me after the first meeting that she knew you from high school and that she was excited to meet you again, so I thought it would be okay to contact you. I’m sorry if I’m out of line.”

She’s really a good girl, isn’t she? Dean should have known that her boss would be aware of their meetings. She had always been a teacher’s pet back in high school.

But now they say that they haven’t heard from her and he hadn’t either. What if something had happened? He doesn’t even want to think about it as it makes his head spin. All of a sudden, Dean’s heart sinks to his balls. 

He clears his throat, “Don’t worry about it, alright? I haven’t heard from her either. She was supposed to show up yesterday, but she didn’t. Have you tried her apartment?”

“I have sent someone around but nobody answered.”

“Right. You mind giving me the address? I’ll follow up on it if that’s okay?”

“Sure,” Mr. Turner said. Dean couldn’t hang up fast enough after he had been given her address. 

Dean floors the Impala, abandoning his work for the night. 

*

She doesn’t live in the safest part of the city but she’s probably used to it. Dean is, too. They grew up not too far from each other after all. The difference between him and her, though, is that he could leave his life behind while she is still stuck here. And that doesn’t really sit right with him. He hoped that she would have gotten out as well. Hoped that she had gone on to be a best selling novelist or a successful journalist. He knew that it was her dream and honestly, if someone deserved to get out, it was her. More so than him. She always worked so hard while he just floated through the shitty educational system.

He takes the stairs, three steps at once. The staircase smells like fucking piss and he has to hold his breath.

When he arrives in front of her door, he needs a moment to compose himself before he knocks. When nobody answers, he tries again, louder this time, and lays his ear to the door. He could swear that he heard something shuffling inside. 

Dean quickly abandons the door and runs down the flight of stairs, almost stumbling out of the building. He runs to the back alley and climbs up the fire escape. It’s not like anyone even cares about him doing it around here. When he’s level with her apartment, he peaks in. The apartment is pitch black and he closes his eyes, willing them to adjust to the darkness quicker to be able to see fucking something. 

Opening them again, he takes another look inside, and he thinks he feels his heart taking a leap. She’s in there, in her bed, blanket pulled up to her chin. She’s obviously asleep but he needs to wake her up anyway because he needs to make sure that she’s o-fucking-kay. 

He knocks at the window and waits.

Knocks again when she still didn’t move. 

Dean tries a third time, and he swears if she doesn’t fucking open her eyes right now, he’s going to break in. 

He exhales when he sees that he doesn’t have to go all Chuck Norris on the window, because he can see her slowly opening up her eyes. He knocks some more to get her attention, “Sweetheart, here, look at me!”

He can see her lazy eyes, can see the sticky hair when she turns her attention to him.

“Can you open up for me? I promise you can go straight back to bed.”

She nods, her eyes empty. But she gets out of bed, walks over to turn at the window knob. She doesn’t wait for him to open it up before she returns into the comfortable cocoon that she’d made.

Dean tries to squeeze his big form through the window, damn near dislocated his fucking shoulder while doing it, but he couldn’t care, his full attention is on her. 

The air is thick inside and Dean decides to leave the window open. 

He quickly walks around her bed to be by her side. He sits down and she curls herself up on her side, facing him.

Dean places his hand to her forehead and quickly withdraws out of shock, before doing it again, “Jesus, you’re burning up,”

“‘M cold,” She mumbles.

“Did you eat anything? Did you drink enough water?” 

Her head lolls around. She’s trying to shake her head, he realizes, “‘M not hungry,”

Dean strokes her hair, leaving his hand on the side of her face. Her heat is almost unbearable, “I know you aren't, come on, gotta get something in your belly, alright?”

“Mmh-huh,”

“Right, I’ll be right back, okay?” He says and gets up from the bed.

“‘K,” 

He walks into her living room, and goes straight for the fridge of the small kitchenette. He finds nothing edible in there but a bottle of water. This is just great. Who knows how long she’s been in this state?

Fishing out the phone from his pants, Dean calls her supervisor. Mr. Turner picks up at the third ring.

“Yeah, Mr. Turner. I found her in her apartment. She runs a high fever. Say, uh, is there anyone I can contact who could come take care of her?”

“I’m afraid not,” Mr. Turner sighs, “I know that her mother is dead and I don’t recall her talking about any relatives,”

Yeah, Dean should have known, “Alright, thanks. I’ll take care of her. I’ll get her to contact you once she’s better,” 

They said their goodbyes and Dean takes a look around. Her phone’s still in the living room, but the battery is dead. Picking it up, he brings it with him when he walks back into her bedroom. He unscrews the bottle and lets her take a sip, propping her up so she can swallow better. 

“I’m taking you to mine, okay? I have plenty of food and water,”

It seems like the most logical thing. That way he can make sure that she’s alright and he can still be close should someone need him at the club. It’s the only thing he can come up with, really.

“‘K,” Her eyes are closing again. 

Dean stands up to close the window before he picks her up and walks her towards the front door. Her body shivers and she tries to bury herself deeper into him.

“‘S cold,”

“I know, sweetheart,” He whispers and picks up a key that’s hanging next to the apartment door. He tries to see if it fits and thankfully it does.

He closes the door and locks it before slipping the key into his pants pocket as well. 

Inside his car, he props her comfortably against the door and drives back to his apartment with a passed out Y/N. 

Dean gnaws on his bottom lip on the drive back, thinks it’s maybe fate that brought him to her. She does not have anyone else who she can turn to, and maybe it’s weird that he thinks that, but he’s actually kind of glad about it.

She’s still out of it when they arrive and Dean takes the back door and gets into the elevator to ride up to his loft.

There, he goes straight for his bed, strips the sheets from the duvets and covers her up with only the thin sheets. She’s still shivering but she’s going to get better. It’s not the first time he’s taken care of a sick person. He took care of Sammy more times than he can remember.

He leaves to call down for Cas, his club manager, to let him know that he won’t be in tonight, and plugs her phone into the charger. He is glad that they have the same phone. He also draws a bath, a little hotter than usual, because he will need time to feed her and the water will have time to go tepid. 

Dean changes into something comfortable and cooks up a soup he knows will help. When he finishes, he places all the things he needs onto a tray and carries it over to her.

Sitting down, he touches her forehead. She’s still burning up.

“Hey, Y/N,” He pulls her up into a sitting position.

“Hmm?”

“Open your eyes, come on, sweetheart, you gotta drink,” He places a straw to her mouth and watches her open up her eyes. Her lids probably feel heavy as hell because she’s fighting to keep them open. 

She takes sips of the water. At least there’s that. Dean tries the soup next. He has already mixed it with cold water so it won’t burn her tongue. The goal is to get something into her that has anti-inflammatory effects. 

He watches her suck at the straw and her eyes are half closed again. She swallows loudly and Dean grins for the first time this evening, “Good girl, that’s good, sweetheart,”

Her eyes are almost closing but the glass of soup is empty and she’s already shifting around in bed, trying to make herself comfortable. Dean has to pull her right up, “We gotta get you in a bath, Y/N.”

She frowns and pouts. He thinks it’s so cute it’s not really fair, “Why?” She whines a little.

“Gotta get you to cool down, baby—” Dean pauses. The word slipped out without thinking and he stared at her but she’s kind of out of it again already, so phew!

He scoops her up, carries her to the bathroom. Once in there, he strips her off her shirt. She’s not wearing a bra so her tits are bare to him but he tries to be good and not stare at them too long. Next, he rids her off her pj pants and pulls her panties down with them. He forgot to take some of her clothes with him and made a mental note to text Cas to get Claire to go buy some clothes for Y/N.

When he has her naked, he tries not to groan out loud, tries to keep his mouth shut and his dick in check because it’s already half hard. Dean places her into the tepid bath water and she whines, “‘S cold,” 

Dean kneels down next to the tub, braces his forearms on the ledge and rests his chin on it, “I know, just a little, okay? We gotta cool you down,”

She pouts with half closed eyelids. Dean thinks that he probably can’t leave her alone for too long because he’d hate if she would fall asleep and drown. So he just goes out quickly to grab his phone. He’s right by her side in a heartbeat and sits down to text Cas that he needs to send Claire out for a clothes run right now while the stores are still open. 

After the bath, he wraps her up in a towel to dry her off, sitting her down to brush her teeth with a new toothbrush he broke off a pack. He forgot a shirt so he runs out, comes in with a simple white t-shirt. He takes the toothbrush out of her mouth to rinse it, puts it back into the holder where his toothbrush already is and pulls the shirt over her head, helping her with her arms. He’s fucking hard by now, even if he tries not to look at her but she’s in his fucking shirt and she doesn’t wear panties. How is his dick supposed to be acting?

Dean carries her back to bed and she buries her face into the crook of his neck. It’s still hot, but it’s much better already. At least there’s that. 

“Dean, ‘m cold,” She mumbles into his skin and it makes all the hairs on his body stand up because it’s the first time that she calls him by name tonight. It makes him happy that she knows it’s him. 

“I know, sweetheart, I’ll get you to bed, okay?” 

“Mmh-hhm,”

She clings on to him and he has to pry her arms from around his neck. He covers her with the sheet, “I’ll be in the living room, you need to rest, Y/N,”

Her eyes are already closed, “Stay?”

Dean lets out a huff of air, his lips curve up into a smirk, “Okay,” He walks around and climbs in with her and she turns herself, curls up against his body in search of more warmth.

 *

 About an hour later, Cas knocks at his door and Dean drags himself up and returns with a bag full of clothes. He isn’t sure if they’ll fit nor is he sure if Claire was the right choice to let go clothes shopping for Y/N but he hopes that at least one of the things would not make her look like a rebellious teen.

Dean takes his laptop and props himself on the couch, thinks about going through some emails since she’s sleeping peacefully but he gets disturbed by a ringing of a phone.

Her phone.

It’s almost midnight, who would call her?

He gets up to look at her phone, sees the name and frowns. 

Jody Mills.

Dean picks up on instinct, forgetting for a second that it’s not his phone and regrets it immediately. 

“Hello,” He says, claps his hand over his face.

“Who’s there?”

“Dean,” He pinches the bridge of his nose. 

“As in fucking Winchester?”

“Yeah,” He says, “that’s not what people call me but, yeah.”

“What are you doing with Y/N’s phone?” Jody can be so fucking loud, he has to hold the phone a little further away from his ear. 

“Listen, if you want to talk to her you might wanna try in a couple of days. She’s sick and has a high fever. I don’t think she’s coherent enough to listen to your whining about your daughter.”

“Oh, my god, you got her under your control too, don’t you?”

Dean groans, “Oh come on, you can’t possibly blame me for everything! I did nothing!”

Jody hangs up before he could. And boy, is Dean mad that he isn’t the one to hang up first.

Chapter 6

[flooffybits]

Invitation From Nightmare City

When imagination and reality blend so well with each other, are you sure you can tell each other apart? Or will you let doubt and fear steer you away from the truth?

So this will be part 1 of the Dreamcatcher series I’ve decided to write. Obviously, since this is only the beginning, there’s barely anything, but once we reach part 2 or 3, I think you’ll all understand what’s happening. While I do have the flow of the story planned out, I will be open to suggestions later on if you have any so feel free to send me messages and feedback!

Start || Next

A month or two after arriving in Seoul, you had to admit that you were still unable to make your way around, often having to rely on maps and double checking your phone just to make sure you wouldn’t get lost somewhere, and you still weren’t able to adapt to the different environment.

Blame it on your new job.

After your boss had you relocated, there was so much on your plate that you could barely catch a break and enjoy your new life. The farthest you could be confident in was the little shops and café that was just a few blocks away from your apartment, plus the cute book shop in the next building. The woman, Seungwan, seemed like an absolutely kind person when she realized you were new in the neighborhood, whipping you up a batch of muffins on your second day there. She also understood your slight struggle with the language after she explained to you that she was originally from Canada.

So far, you’ve only really gotten to befriend her and a few other people, mainly from work -

“Hey, Y/n, good morning!” A dark haired female greeted you when you passed by the park like usual. “Hey, Minji, good morning. Busy day ahead?” You ask when you notice the various paper bags in her arms.

Kim Minji was someone you met by chance. While you tried to familiarize the neighborhood, you ended up walking a little too far away than you should have and it didn’t help that it was about to rain. So when you reached the park, you were almost ready to give up until the angel that stood before you showed up with a worried look across her face and then she’s offering to help you get back home after she realized your situation.

The day after that, on your way to work, you were able to recognize the path better, since you could actually see your surroundings, and end up bumping into the latter once more, giving you the chance to properly thank her.

After that, you’ve both just been able to talk with one another and you were able to consider her as the closest friend you had there, aside from Seungwan.

“Sort of. I have some people coming over, so I have to fix up the place and make sure to prepare everything.” She says with the same cute grin she always had. “Oh! What time are they coming? Do you need some help?” You ask, hoping to give the woman a lending hand, but she smiles in an assuring manner before shaking her head. “No, it’s quite alright. They’ll be arriving in the afternoon, so I doubt you’ll be able to come by since you have work.”

She tries to check on her watch despite everything she’s carrying before she was looking back at you. “And you should be hurrying, too! You can’t be late.” She shoos you away playfully and you chuckle while lifting your hands in defense. “I know, I know. I’ll see you later then. Text me though!”

“I will, now go!”

You show her a little salute before running off to the direction of your work place, leaving the woman to watch after you with a small smile on her face. Only when you were completely out of sight did she decide to walk back to her home and prepare for her friends' arrival.

.. 

"Hey, Y/n! Heading home?" Kahei, one of your colleagues, asked when she got up from her desk and began packing her things. She was one of the few foreigners that worked at the company and it helped that she knew how to speak English. You were grateful that she was kind enough to show you around and explain everything you failed to comprehend when you started.

You offer a smile before shaking your head and sighing. "No, I'm still trying to finish up this report. You know how our boss is." You joked before the girl giggled and patted your arm when she passed by you. "You worry too much. He has a lot of confidence in you, having you move here and all."

"It wouldn't be a surprise if you managed to become a senior officer in your first year. But don't tell anyone I said." You laughed at the playful banter between the two of you and nodded your head while waving goodbye. "See you tomorrow. Goodnight!"

"Goodnight! Don't stay so late. You know how dangerous it can be at night." She reminds you and you nod before she finally exits the room, leaving you alone to finish the task you had at hand.

While Kahei did tell you not to stay up late, you failed to notice the time until security had to come up and tell you that you should leave the building. You apologized before quickly gathering your things and heading home for the night. But a quick glance at your phone notified you that it was already nearing one in the morning.

So you picked up the pace and did your best to get home faster, avoiding any shady looking places just in case, because, like Kahei told you, it wasn’t exactly safe to be roaming around at night and it didn’t help that you were alone.

The bus was nearly empty, save for a few people who seemed to have just gotten off work like yourself. There was also a couple, not too far away, talking between themselves and then an elderly man closer to the driver’s seat whilst you occupied the middle row like usual.

When you get to your stop, you hold your bag loosely in your hand, eyes half lidded and pleading to shut after such a busy day, but you still needed to get home before you could let your guard down and finally relax. It wasn’t too far away now, but still. Anything could still happen in the few blocks you had to pass.

Maybe halfway to your apartment, you could feel your phone buzzing in your pocket and you’re confused.

Who would be calling you at such an hour?

Upon checking the caller ID, you’re surprised to see Minji’s name flashing across the screen. Before you could even answer her call, it ends and you think that maybe she’s called you by accident. But you’re proven wrong when she starts calling you again.

“Hello?”

“Y/n! Thank god, you’re okay.” Her words had caused you to slowly come to a halt, your brows pinching in confusion as you addressed the woman. “Yeah, I just left work a while ago. What’s wrong?” You inquire and she lets out a huff. “Well, it is kinda worrying when your friend hasn’t replied in, at least, five hours.” She shot back and you started walking again with a sigh.

“I’m so sorry, I’ve just been so absorbed with work that I lost track of time.” You tell her, your apartment finally coming into view. “But why are you still awake? It’s one in the morning.” You ask her. “I was worried when you didn’t text back earlier. You usually do so when you leave work.”

Suddenly you felt bad for being so reckless. You found out Minji could be quite the worry wart on the first month of being here. She's always telling you to take care, often scolding you for forgetting an umbrella or jacket on certain occasions, and just being a mother hen in general. It was endearing, especially for someone who's only known you for a couple of weeks.

"I'm so sorry. I swear, I'll make it up to you. But right now, you should get some sleep. It's late and I'm almost home, anyway." You assure the older woman. "I'd rather stay on the line until I'm sure you are home." She retorts and you let out a sigh at her stubbornness. "I swear that I'm going to be okay. I'll text you as soon as I get home, it's not even that far away anymore."

"You're still outside, and I'd rather not risk it." Knowing that there was no use arguing, you eventually gave up and allowed the other woman to stay on the line until you safely reached your apartment.

"How has your day been?" You would suddenly ask her, seeing it was a bit awkward to keep your phone to your ear without actually saying anything. "You had some friends over, yeah? How did it go?" You add and there's a slight hum from her side before she's responding.

The sound of her voice didn’t seem all too enthusiastic, or maybe it was because it was early in the morning and she was tired out. “It was alright, my friends are all filled with so much energy, though two of them are more tame.” She mumbles softly while you finally reach the front of your apartment complex. “But I think you would be able to get along with them if you ever meet them. They’ll love you for sure.” She says with a light laugh that sounds almost a bit forced, like there were more emotions locked away in her heart that she’s afraid of letting you find out.

“Well, any friend of yours is a friend of mine.” You chuckle while stepping inside the building and using your free hand to reach inside your pocket for your keys. “But, hey, I’m already at the complex, so you ca-”

Surprised, you didn’t realize someone was there until your shoulder collided with theirs and you had to stop what you were doing to face them and immediately apologize. “I’m so sorry for that, I didn’t notice you.” You tell them and the woman just stares blankly at you.

Getting a proper look, she had brown hair with the tips painted pink, dark brown orbs almost boring a hole in your forehead, and if looks could kill, you would probably be buried six feet under by now. The woman was most likely thin, hidden under the thick jacket that was wrapped around her. She was a few inches taller than you, probably the same height as Minji, you noted and you knew you would never bump into her like this again with the way she was staring at you.

“Be careful next time.” Was all she said before continuing her way out of the building and you blink after her before remembering that you were still on the phone with Minji.

“Y/n? Are you there?” You hear the woman’s worried voice. “Yeah, I’m here, sorry. I just bumped into someone.” You explain and she goes quiet before asking, “Isn’t it a bit late for someone in your complex to be up?”

Glancing over your shoulder and to the entrance, you let out a soft sigh before making your way up to your apartment. “I guess? Though she seems new, or I just haven’t noticed her until now.” You explain while rubbing the back of your head and then grabbing your keys from your pocket. “Really? What does she look like?”

“Um, judging by how I had bumped into her, kind of like an angry puppy.” You mutter while unlocking your door and Minji breathes out, almost like a huff of air coming from her lips as she turns in her bed while listening to you shutting your door. “Well, annoyed neighbor aside, it sounds like you’re already home.” She guesses while you take off your shoes. “Yeah, you don’t have to worry about me being out and finally get some sleep.”

With the assurance that you were safe and sound, Minji finally relented as she shut her eyes. “Yeah, I think I’ll do that. But don’t forget, you owe me for worrying me like that.” She hears your light laughter through the other line and a smile blooms on her face. “Goodnight, Y/n.”

You can’t help the smile that forms on your own lips before bidding her goodbye. “Goodnight. I’ll see you later.”

When the call finally ends, Minji lets her phone drop to her side as her eyes open again, her smile fading into a small frown as she recalls what you said a while ago, the worry building in her chest as she stared up at the ceiling.

“What are you doing, Yoohyeon?”

Meanwhile, after you had finally gotten comfortable and settled in your bed, it only took a matter of seconds for you to fall asleep, the exhaustion of the day helping you fall unconscious and easing you into dreamland.

However, as your eyes opened, you’re greeted by a dimly lit room. With a chandelier hanging above your head, you could see what little furniture was there along with a few pictures and books scattered about. There were papers strewn about, what appeared to be, a circle of candles around you.

Come to think of it, you were standing directly at the center of the whole thing, yet everything was empty and without a source of life, except you.

Peering around curiously, you take a cautious step outside the circle, being careful not to touch the candles. “What the…” Looking at the large windows to your left, you blinked before looking down at yourself to confirm that you weren’t wearing the shorts or plain shirt you had picked before going to sleep, but rather a white blouse and black dress pants.

You try tapping your own cheek to see if you could wake yourself up, but when you look around, nothing changes. The room is as it is and your clothes don’t change. While you know you’re dreaming, everything feels oddly realistic when you reach one of the desks, letting your fingers brush over one of the few books that was placed on top of it.

Despite being alone, you could not shake off the feeling of someone watching you. There’s a heavy weight that settles on your shoulders, and when you breathe out, your breath is visible as though the room’s temperature had dropped.

There’s a quiet creak in the direction of the archway that probably leads further into the house, and you spin around quickly, catching a glimpse of a shadow before it’s disappeared completely from your sight.

You hold your breath, not daring to call out in the event that someone or something dangerous might be present. With your heart beating faster, you catch another bit of movement, this time by the window. And when you look over, all you see is your own reflection.

Or so you thought.

Your eyes in the window looked a bit different - darker. And when you move back, your reflection’s movement is delayed, forcing you to step away and retreat.

Fear was slowly creeping up your chest and the weight from earlier had yet to go away. While you did your best to keep your breathing steady, the room started to spin around you with your head suddenly throbbing.

And then the whispers began.

You’re not sure where they’re coming from nor do you understand a single word they’re saying. All you knew was that they were growing louder and louder, making you even dizzier. When you move back towards the candles, one light flickers before you feel something grab at your leg, causing you to stumble.

But before your body could collide with the ground, someone had grabbed you by the back of your shirt and you were being shoved back to the circle.

Looking up to who had pushed you, you could barely see their face with how hazy things were getting. The only thing you could tell was that the person was a woman, dressed in a suit with her hair seemingly short, though only at the front because when she gave you another push to have you fully in the circle again, you caught sight of the rest of her hair tied in a low ponytail.

She doesn’t give you a chance to speak nor does she say her name or where you are. She merely stares at you for a few seconds before allowing you to faintly hear her voice. “You shouldn’t be here… at least not yet.”

[needletail]

Nintendogs vs Nintendogs + Cats: a review and comparison.

There’s no doubt that most people want a new Nintendogs game for the Nintendo Switch. But when I see these posts, very few of them are referencing the 3ds variant of the game, but rather the original ds version that everyone continues to know and love.

The addition of cats is Nintendogs + Cats’ most notable feature. It was, while cute and fun for a short period of time, notably worse than its predecessor. But why is that? The formula stayed roughly the same, but the charm didn’t quite hit.

Before we dive into this: these are my opinions on the games, and personal comparisons. Every person experiences things differently, and will likely have different opinions.

We can start with breaking down the original Nintendogs. The graphics have not aged well, but the charm and entertainment factor have. While replaying, I found that the general ambience and the music used endeared me further to the game, and I wanted to play more. The half hour timer on going for walks was frustrating (as was the stamina system), but it otherwise engaged me more to figure out where I wanted to go. The map feels surprisingly big with so much to do, and the side-scrolling walk screen keeps the mystery alive in what you’ll encounter. The competitions were fun and the voice recognition system may have been even better than the 3ds incarnation. The only thing that really suffered were the graphics - but this game is 15 years old and this was advanced for its time, so we can let that slide. The dogs can be a little strange to look at at times, but they’re expressive and distinct, which is what matters in a pet simulator.

The information you can take in is optional, but an exciting part of the game for those who are interested. Your dog’s profile is detailed but easy to understand, going as far as to tell you what it ate last. There’s something so charming about it being displayed as if it were a document you had in front of you - it brings another element of immersion into this sim.

[Image ID: a photograph of the informational sheet on Nintendogs. It includes the name, gender, breed, trainer, time together, coat, hunger, thirst, and things eaten. The trick list and contest results are also on this screen.] 

From cars passing by to horns in the distance and dog barks from somewhere vaguely nearby, the sound design of Nintendogs is audibly aged, but still strong. The few tracks spread in the game are iconic, and stay in my head a lot longer than I’d like to admit. 

The competitions are another huge highlight of the original nintendogs. The banter between the hosts, Ted and Archie, is something that continues to be remembered. Everyone’s seen the line “you make me feel like a man, Archie”, and the banter they keep up in each competition is less like a mindless tapping chore and just more entertainment. The settings are surprisingly realistic - less so on the obedience, but the ring set up for agility certainly is. The balance between realism and fun is another part of why Nintendogs appealed to all audiences. 

Agility is my personal favourite event, and the same goes for a lot of people I’ve met. There’s a level of interactivity here that isn’t met by the successor (something we’ll touch on later). Guiding your dog over hurdles and through tunnels, and later having to balance speed with accuracy - it’s an event that keeps you, the player, engaged. It becomes a sort of fine art once you hit the Championship level, as your dog, by that point, is likely going to be very fast and have a mind of its own, often trying to predict which obstacles it’s going to go through. 

[Image ID: an angled photograph of the starter agility training course. The dog is laying on the green, and the hurdles and tunnels are in view.] 

Disc is in both versions, and is fun in its own way. I, personally, don’t tend to use the disc competition - in the original Nintendogs, the projectiles can be a little speedier than you intend them to be, and the dogs are a little too determined to hold onto their toys. But, with a well-trained dog, this event can be as fun as anything else. In the original, you didn’t have to contend with the other dogs - something that I’ve grown to appreciate over the years. But, like with the event that removed Agility, I’ll be looking at how the changes fared later. 

Obedience is held on a stage, and is a fun event for people who take the time to train their dogs. Your dog can typically learn three or four tricks a day (depending on the dog), and between the tricks listed in the Obedience Guide Book and the unlisted tricks that your dog can learn, you can usually blow the competition out of the park. It definitely requires the most time and effort out of all of the events, and it can be frustrating if your dog suddenly stops listening - but the rewards are surprisingly good. It’s always fun to have a well-trained Nintendog, if only because showing them off when I was a child was my favourite thing to do. 

Obviously, competitions are the main money-makers in these games. Tackle a solid few of them, and you’ll find yourself able to afford another dog or two. Though your room is limited to three dogs, there’s also a Hotel to keep some other dogs in. As time progresses and you gain more of a bond with your dog(s), you’ll unlock more breeds. 

Something that went over my head when I was a child was the method to unlock Jack Russells, specifically. You need to find an incredibly rare book - something which I don’t ever recall doing, and still haven’t. I found this information via the wikia, so I’m not too sure how accurate is, but it is an interesting breed to lock behind a time and patience-based method. 

[Image ID: an angled image of a German Shepherd laying on its side. In the corner is an idea bubble.] 

Overall, Nintendogs is a solid and fun pet simulator, and it’s clear why so many people have such good memories. The dogs are filled with personality (even being expressive enough to show you when they’re angry vs happy), the competitions are engaging, and though the format will become stale after playing daily for a long time, it’s always a fun game to come back to after a period of time. 

Which is why it’s unsurprisingly that it gained a sequel.

I remember being ecstatic when Nintendogs + Cats was shown in advertisements on television. When I got the 3ds, I also got a copy of Nintendogs + Cats. The Golden Retriever version, specifically, but I do own all three. For some reason? As people got bored with it, they usually gifted me them. 

At first blush, it’s almost as charming as the original. The graphics style handles much better than the original, with slightly more realistic movements, and less cardboard-y models. I much prefer the Nintendogs + Cats models to the originals, for obvious reasons - though their movements can be a little repetitive and strange at times, and a lot less expressive than the originals. But that said, I much prefer the Kennel system of petting and exploring the dogs and their behaviours (limited as they are) before you adopt, and I enjoy sorting through colours or getting unique colours/patterns. The rare white variants used to be my obsession, as a child. 

[Image ID: a german shepherd holding a present in Nintendogs + Cats. The model is significantly better than the original Nintendogs model.] 

Immediately, though, there’s a lot less ambience in Nintendogs + Cats. I play with my volume up all the way, and it’s typically just my dogs and cat making noises. I miss the cars going by and the general background noise that the game can provide. It feels just a little too silent, and the music tracks are repetitive and unmemorable for the most part. Obviously sound design don’t make or break the game, so I won’t harp on this point for too long. 

The gameplay is...fine? I’m not a fan of petting a shadow of my dog, but I understand they did that for 3D purposes (something which most people didn’t use, to the point that the 2DS was made. I play on a 2DS). The camera control is an incredibly nice feature to have, the showering minigame is a little more thorough. They didn’t really add anything to the care features, though. If anything, they took away a lot of experiences - reading the care books and instead guiding you through the tricks one by one instead of as you want, forcing you to learn a specific set of tricks before you can move on to the next ones. The game is far more hand-holdy, which can be frustrating at multiple points. But, hey. There’s cats! Let’s talk about the cats. 

What’s their purpose? Not much. Which is fine, although they take up a slot in your three-pet designation. As cute as the cats are, they definitely got done dirty. There’s three selections to choose from (Standard, Oriental, and Long-hair), with multiple colours, but not much depth beyond that. Obviously, the cats were just a cute addition - I do like having my little cat wandering around the house with my two dogs, and I know from past experiences that once you bond with the cat, it’ll go out and get presents for you if you leave your ds on. Gaining affection with the cats is very slow-going and if you’re someone who likes your pet simulations to be more interactive, it might be wiser to stick with the dogs. I’m not complaining against the addition of cats - it just could’ve been done much smoother, with better mechanics enabled. Be it adding some breeds and a proper grooming minigame to maintain them, or the ability to train them but have them be much harder than the dogs. There were many ways to put cats into the game, and I just don’t think they hit as intended. 

So, how did they do with the competitions? Well. 

The short answer: they’re pretty bland, and a downgrade from the original.  The long answer... 

[Image ID: a white cocker spaniel chewing on a banana lure.] 

In the competitions, there’s no more Ted/Archie banter. It’s just Ted. Doing his thing. I honestly do not read the text for this game, and instead tap quickly to progress to the events. 

Replacing Agility comes Lure Coursing. I’m not sure about other countries, but that’s an incredibly niche section of dog sporting here, and it’s also notorious for being...very boring. And in the game, it lives up to that. Instead of guiding your dog through obstacles, you wind the cog of a lure and honk it to get the dog to follow it. Sometimes you honk it to get them over hurdles. I have to admit, I usually space out when I’m training my dogs with this - it’s an easy moneymaker once you’ve trained them up to Nintendogs Cup level, but it’s easily the most mind-numbing event. Anything would’ve been better. If they didn’t want to implement Agility, there are other dog sports that could’ve suited well; guiding your dog through the Flyball course and using its name to bring it back until it could do it on command (maybe even utilising a team of three, for reason as to why you can have up to three dogs), or sledding, using your dog to pull a lightweight sled (on wheels) through a course in a race against other dogs (or, again, even using your trio). There could have even been scenting sport in which you teach your dog how to scent and go off to find a mark, or herding. The point is: lure coursing is the most unengaging thing to put in a game. 

The Disc competition barely changes, so I won’t say much. I don’t particularly enjoy having the other dogs in the ring to compete with as it becomes all too easy for them to interfere heavily with your own dog, but I understand why it was implemented and know that a lot of people enjoy it. I prefer the throwing speed and the control you can have over the disc, and will admit that overall, the Disc competition is generally improved. 

But then you come to the Obedience Trial. AR Cards are mandatory. You don’t have a surface to put your AR Cards on, or lost them years ago? Then you can’t do it. I actually ordered AR Cards, having thrown out my old ones due to damages and general...lack of use. As of this post, I have been unable to play the Obedience Trial, so I can’t say much on whether the system has improved. I do know that AR Cards can work on a laptop screen or something similar, but the 3ds camera is pretty horrible and can glitch out, making it unreliable for screen-based AR cards. Unfortunately. 

[Image ID: a white cocker spaniel standing on an AR Card.]

The walking system is fine. I love being able to go to different routes (as limited as they can be - but the original was no saint to repetitiveness once you knew the whole map), and I like having to go between grass patches, with a chance for a surprise present. I think the addition of the BARC stores are a cute touch, and the Miis walking their own dogs are cute, too. The interactions between your dog and theirs is based on your dog’s personality as well as theirs, which makes sense - but there’s basically three outcomes. More than the original, but meeting with other dogs tends to be to see if you can backtrack when you’re near the end of the walk by having them invite you to the cafe or park, or to get presents from Streetpass miis. I like the cone minigame to test your control over the dog and its leash, and as a rule, I just...like it. It’s relaxing. I don’t prefer it over the original, but I don’t prefer the original over it. They both have their benefits and downfalls. The biggest upside to + Cats’ system is that you can take your dog on as many walks as you want. 

Interactivity isn’t really a thing, with + Cats. Whereas in the original you could legitimately piss off your dog and it would bark and snarl at you for a while before you regained its trust, this game doesn’t punish you for much. I poked and prodded at my dog for a while, and it didn’t really do much for me. This is a game where you sort of just have cute looking models that hold up surprisingly well for their time, and that’s it. There’s not much game to the game, as it were - and that’s from a game where the gameplay was limited as it was. 

Adding multiple accessories to your pets is a very nice addition, albeit expected. Overall, though, the gameplay has been significantly dumbed down and while I understand that kids play it, my generation played Nintendogs as small children and we got by just fine. It’s a very intuitive game, and it’s almost insulting how little Nintendogs + Cats thinks of its audience. 

Another nice addition to Nintendogs + Cats, though, is body type for your pets. There’s a few that your pet can be: underfed, skinny, optimal, plump, and overfed. I usually have optimal dogs, but apparently plump and overfed dogs run slower and as such they do poorer in competitions, which is a pretty neat feature to have in-game. 

In the short of it, Nintendogs + Cats is fine, but Nintendogs (the original) is Good. I have a lot more nostalgia for Nintendogs which may cloud my opinion, but playing it in 2020 is still fun, and I’m especially happy to play the Agility competition.

For an interactive pet simulator with fun competitions and plenty to do, Nintendogs is the way to go.  For a pretty enough game with simplistic gameplay, Nintendogs + Cats is the way to go. 

Both games have their perks, but I certainly have a clear favourite. If a Switch edition of Nintendogs ever happened, I’d much prefer the original style with some of the quality of life changes made in the successor. In the end, it’s all up to what you’re looking for in a game - but as someone who’s looking for a fun time, I’m a sucker for the originals. 

(Note: I have not played the knock-off Nintendogs for Switch, and would appreciate input on if it’s worth buying or not. Reviews are poor at best, as far as I can tell, though.) 

[motherofheckers]

Astraphobia

In which Jestro has a fear of storms.

Pairing: Claytro

Words: 1,227

⚠️There is one instance of strong language in this fic!⚠️

(Trigger warning for thunderstorms, obviously)

Loud. That was how Jestro would sum up the Lavalands. The involuntary gurgle of magma bubbling up to the surface had at first made him nauseous, as had the precarious scraping of rocks. They felt like a premonition for disaster.

However, the jester had gotten used to such noises within a week or two. Now, they simply faded into the background along with the incessant chatter of various scurriers and globlins. Did those things ever sleep? He thought they mustn't.

Tonight was different, though.

The rain felt as if it was attacking the castle from above, an attack with far more vigour than any of the knights' offensives. Static, Jestro thought, it sounds like radio static. Looking out of the window and trying to differentiate the individual drops would be an impossible task - the intensity of the shower had increased instantaneously and was only visible in chillingly cold sheets that would soak any fool who faced them to the bone.

He shuddered at the thought of being alone again during a storm like this. Being sat, huddled into himself under any scrap of shelter he could find: it was a thing of the past, he reminded himself. Hell, he hadn't been stuck like that since his Academy days.

How weird it had been, the first rainy night in that place. Jestro had been wide awake - as he was now - and he could hear the gentle pitter-patter outside. But he couldn't feel it. He wasn't shivering, he wasn't curling up to protect his body, he was... warm. Safe. He had a shelter and, though asleep, a friend nearby. He hadn't been used to that.

For as long as he remembered before, he'd been left to fend for himself. Of course, he figured there must have been someone who helped him through his first few years of life. If not, how could he have been alive? After all, infants couldn't beg or steal food. Whoever had helped him, the boy couldn't remember them. Not their face, not their voice, not their name.

A sudden flash knocked Jestro out of his thoughts. Oh, no. Brow furrowed, he approached a nearby window, however before he reached it he heard the low rumble he was praying he wouldn't.

The jester flinched at the noise. Almost as an angered response, the rain increased in ferocity. Well, he thought with wide eyes and erratic movement, this should be fun. Another flash and rumble emanated from the heavens, closer now. He sat on the floor and sank into himself, trying to keep his breathing steady. He was indoors, he wasn't going to wake up drenched and freezing.

Wait, was he shaking?

A hand brought up to his face confirmed this. Another crash, he jumped. Now his heart was beginning to beat faster. The apparent thunderstorm was surely on top of the castle now. Knowing he was indoors did nothing to soothe the boy, as his breathing hitched and his vision went blurry. He darted to his bed in the middle of the room as hot tears of panic began to drip down his face.

There was no way he could tell anyone. They'd make fun of him. He was evil, for Knighton's sake! He wasn't supposed to be afraid of something like this, he was supposed to revel in it!

And yet.

Jestro frantically crawled his way under the covers, clawing at his face in an attempt to battle the tears that were rolling freely now. He hiccuped and drew his knees to his chest as the storm continued to roar at him. God, what he would give to be able to text Clay. He always knew how to help. He had the feeling that Clay rarely, if ever, slept - he'd always text back within a minute or so.

But not now. Because Jestro had turned his back on his only real friend. He tried to believe the Book of Monsters when he was told the knights had never cared, really, he did! However, the jester's vitriol towards the blue knight was half-hearted at best, and unconvincing at worst.

He curled in further on himself. As the crashes and flashes of the storm went on, he stifled his sobs. Was anyone else even awake? If they were, did they even care? He turned over and stared at his phone on the bedside table. Dare he? Would Clay even answer?

What would Clay say?

What would he say?

...Fuck it.

He reached out an arm, shakier than ever, and grabbed his phone.

Clay's number. There it was. A short, shaky breath. And then:

「can I talk to you?」

Immediately, he cringed and let his mind wander to the worst possible way this could go. Clay would hate him. He was sure he would. God, why did he think this was a good ide-

『Are you okay?』

Well, he didn't plan this.

「no」

「it's the storm」

「there's a huge storm over here」

「i can barely breathe」

「i'm scared」

Silence for a few seconds.

『I'm going to call you, hang on』

His friend's contact flashed up on the screen. Jestro stared for a few seconds, hardly able to see the screen though the tears. Then he picked up and put the phone to his ear.

"Jestro? Jestro, are you alright?" Clay's voice was hushed and hurried, but coherent.

Jestro, on the other hand, could hardly form words.

"I-I-"

"Hey, hey, hey. You're hyperventilating, Jes. I need you to breathe, okay?"

The younger hummed shakily in response, and as the knight breathed slowly and steadily on the other end, he attempted to copy. Eventually, the jester's breathing would be back to normal, bar the occasional hiccup from crying.

"I... can't really believe I'm actually talking to you."

"...Me neither."

For a couple of seconds, only the patter of rain could be heard.

"Hey, Clay?"

"Yes?"

Jestro's tone softened. "Even if I don't know why you're doing it, thank you. For helping me, I mean. I... I really do appreciate it."

Clay's sigh whistled slightly through the phone. "You're still my friend. I do still care, Jes, even if we're on different sides.'

Jestro couldn't help but feel a tug at his heart at the nickname.

"Yeah..." he mumbled, barely audible.

He looked up and realised the raindrops had stalled to an odd little tap by now. A pang of guilt hit him suddenly. Only a few minutes had passed, right? Did he really need to interrupt Clay? Then again, Clay didn't really seem... bothered.

"Jestro, I can practically hear you overthinking over the phone." Clay said in a half-joking tone, "You really don't need to worry about calling me. Again, you're my friend. You can call on me whenever you're struggling, okay?"

He nodded before remembering he was on a phone call, and voicing his affirmation. Even though neither could see it, both boys smiled softly.

Jestro suddenly yawned - he hadn't thought tiredness would sneak up on him - and the thought occurred that it may be a good idea to sleep.

Clay picked up on this, and spoke quietly to the jester, reminding of simpler times in the Academy. As he noticed the other's breath steadying out again, he went to hang up.

But he couldn't help but feel he heard a hushed "I love you" on the other end before he did.

[futurebicon]

Hit

For the many people who requested #12. Finally a long one I’ve slowly been working on forever.

12- I feel sick, so anxious and sick and like my heart is trying to beat it’s way out of my chest

TW- slight panic attack, blood, injury, hurt

“This better be a good game” Logan said as he tossed popcorn into his mouth.

“It obviously will be. It’s the Snakes.” Kacey shook his head and looked at him like he was stupid.

“Everyone shut up it’s on” Talker shushed them, even though they all knew they would start talking about the game in a matter of seconds.

“Are you going to be okay watching this?” Remus whispered to Sirius.

“Yeah. I’ll be fine, amour” Sirius smiled at him. Regulus and the Snakes had been taking jabs at Sirius and the Lions every chance they got.

Remus nodded and cut into the argument between James and Olli.

***

Everyone was on the edge of their seats watching the game intensely. It was a gruesome game, both teams hitting hard. The game was tied 2-2.

Sirius was beside Remus, elbow on his leg, one of them bouncing. He had his hand in a fist in front of his mouth. Remus was rubbing his neck lightly.

Everyone reacted as a fight broke out, all the players on the ice joined in. It took the refs a few minutes to separate them.

When everyone was out of the pile of players. There was still someone laying on the ice. Sirius sucked in a breath. Regulus. Refs surrounded him, waving over medics.

No one was able to see what exactly was wrong or what had happened, but they could tell that it was bad.

The medics were too frantic for it to be a simple knock out. And the blood, there was so much. Too much. It cut to commercial as the audience started screaming.

“Oh god” Sirius gasped and stood up, hurrying up the stairs. Remus followed him up.

“Hey, can you open the door please. It’s just me” He asked quietly as he knocked.

“Sirius come on” he said again when there was no response. He could hear Sirius pacing. The footsteps got closer and clicked the lock open.

“Hey, come here” Remus said softly, stopping Sirius’s pacing and letting him fall into his arms.

“I don’t know why it’s scaring me. He doesn’t care about me so why do I care about-“

“Stop, stop.” Remus said firmly.

“He’s your little brother. You’re allowed to care about him.”

“He’s going to be okay, right? You’re kind of like a medic. You saw the hit, do you know if he’s going to be okay?” Sirius looked at him, his eyes hopeful and scared.

“I don’t-I don’t know, okay?” Sirius deflates. “I couldn’t see it really, there was a lot of blood but you couldn’t see where it was from. Some injuries bleed more than others do.” Remus tried to comfort his shaking boyfriend.

But he really didn’t know. From what he saw it was bad, really, really bad. He wasn’t going to tell Sirius that right now, maybe later but right now he didn’t want to stress him out more.

Sirius pulled back and wiped his eyes minutes later “We should go back down, they might talk about how he is.”

“Are you sure? We can watch up here if you don’t want to be around everyone.” Remus asked.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I’ll be okay.” Sirius nodded.

The team didn’t stare for too long when they walked back down. Just a glance and then back to the TV, even though it was a stupid commercial. Remus laid in the spot they were in before, this time pulling Sirius onto him. He kissed the top of his head and tucked it under his chin, fingers running through the slightly curly hair.

“Commercials have been playing since the hit” James told them.

Sirius tensed slightly, that couldn’t be good. Yeah commercials were long but not that long. After a few more commercials it cut back to the announcers.

“Welcome back folks” they said somberly. “As you saw, Regulus Black took a hard hit in the middle of a fight. Now the next few clips might be a little gruesome so viewer discretion is advised.”

That couldn’t be good.

The screen showed the fight, Regulus shaking over and trying to separate them, unlike his teammates who were egging it on. He was shouting something that couldn’t be heard before a hand hit across his helmet, knocking him to the ground. They showed the bottom half of the fight, clump of skates and padding. Regulus was obvious in his green jersey, caught in the cross fire of skates.

Sirius turned his face into Remus’s neck, unable to watch anymore.

Remus rubbed his back, trying to sooth him.

He couldn’t see much of what was happening before the fight was broken up, and you were able to tell where the blood was coming from. His arm, but apparently it was too gruesome to show on TV, it was blurred out.

“Hey, it’s his arm, okay? It’s just his arm.” Remus whispered.

“How bad?” He asked, his voice gravely and tight.

“I don’t- I don’t know. They, uhh, they blurred it out”

Sirius tensed even more, just nodded and kept his head buried safely in Remus’s neck. Letting it act as a barrier between the things he was scared to know and the comforting smell and feeling of his boyfriend.

The team glanced at them sadly, Lily reached over and patted Remus’s thigh. He smiled sadly at her.

“Are they continuing the game?” Sirius asked, lifting his head the slightest bit. His voice still tight.

“Yeah, I think so” Dumo answered.

Right on cue the game started up again. The ice was cleaned as well as it could be for right now. A section of ice stained red.

The rest of the game was quick, the Snakes didn’t slow down even when the Flyers did. They won 4-2.

At the end of the game they gave an update on Regulus. He was at the hospital, in surgery, in extremely critical condition.

Sirius clung to Remus, his fist clenching Remus’s shirt as he shook his head as if it would get the words out of his mind.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I’m sure he’s going to be okay” Remus tried hard to comfort him. But he wasn’t listening. A broken sob escaped, breaking everyone’s hearts.

The team trickled out until it was just Sirius and Remus.

“Do you want to go up to bed love?” Remus asked, getting a nod in response as he sat up and walked upstairs.

Remus helped him change out of the black jeans and t-shirt he was wearing into sweatpants.

“I love you” he kissed him softly, holding him against his body.

“I love you too” Sirius muttered back.

They climbed into bed, the bedroom silent and swimming in darkness before Sirius spoke.

“What if he dies” his voice smaller than Remus had ever heard.

“He’s going to be okay. He is. But if he isn’t, you have me, the team, James, Harry. All of us. I don’t know what’s going to happen but you will always have us no matter what. I know it will hurt if it does happen, but I can’t have you going back to the way you were before. I need you to talk to me or the team or Heather or someone. You can’t bottle this up and have it shut you down.”

Sirius nodded “Okay” he whispered.

A sob escaped, Sirius covered his mouth with his hand and tried to stop any more.

“Don’t do that. It’s okay. It’s just me, you can let it out.”

Sirius flung himself onto Remus, sobbing.

Remus doesn’t know how long Sirius cried for, but finally he quieted, taking a hiccuped breath. “Love you” he managed to mutter before exhaustion pulled him under.

“I love you too” Remus kissed his hair, drifting off to sleep himself.

***

Sirius didn’t wake up till late into the day. Remus stayed in bed, only leaving to get something to eat. He wanted to be there for Sirius when the memories of last night came back.

Sirius stirred in his sleep, blinking his eyes open.

Remus put his laptop on the nightstand and brushed his fingers through Sirius’s slightly sweaty hair. “Good morning baby”

Sirius hummed before sitting up quickly. “Reg”

“I’ve been checking all day, there’s no update on him yet.”

“Is that good or bad” Sirius asked.

“I don’t know. But we would know if he was-“ Remus trailed off.

“Dead?” Sirius finished for him.

“Yeah” Remus sighed.

Sirius nodded and moved away from him.

“Hey, remember what I said last night? You can’t push us away. You can’t shut down again.”

“I know- I just. I feel sick, so anxious and sick and like my heart is trying to beat it’s way out of my chest.” He confessed.

“Baby” Remus breathed, pulling him into his chest. “I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do to help you?”

“Hold me” Sirius whispered.

Remus nodded and laid down, holding Sirius tight.

Sirius fell asleep again, still tired from staying up last night and crying for so long.

Remus’s phone vibrated while he was asleep. Remus reached over carefully and answered it without checking the caller ID.

“Remus” James voice came through. “Did you see the news”

Remus went to sit up but then remembered the sleeping boy in his arms.

“No, what happened.” He asked not even trying to hide the worry in his voice.

“Regulus is out of surgery” Remus let out a breath, his body relaxing.

“But the damage to his nerves was too bad. They- they had to amputate.”

Remus sucked in another breath. “God”

“Yeah. Is, umm, does he know?”

“No, he’s asleep right now. I’ll tell him when he wakes up.”

“D'accord. Give him our love”

“I will” Remus hung up as Sirius began to stir.

“Hey, who was on the phone?” He asked, still tired but his voice held worry.

“James, Umm.” Sirius tensed, his eyes wide with fear.

“No, no, no. He’s alive” Remus reassured him quickly.

Sirius relaxed a little.

“But they, uh, they had to amputate his arm”

Sirius sat up. “What?”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know. But the nerve damage was too much. I haven’t read anything on it yet but that’s just what James told me.”

“Will he be able to play, if he gets a prosthetic, is that even allowed in the NHL”

“I don’t- I don’t know. He would still be able to play with a prosthetic but I don’t know about the NHL”

“Our parents...” he trailed off.

“I know, I’m sorry. What do you think they’ll do?”

“Disown him. If he can’t play anymore he’s no good to them”

Remus nodded.

Sirius’s phone was ringing and pinging with texts. “Probably the team” he muttered.

“Yeah, probably”

“I don’t- I don’t want to talk to them right now. I’ll talk later but not right now.”

Remus pecked his lips and reached over to turn his ringer off. “Umm, baby?”

“What?” Sirius looked up at him.

“Regulus is calling you.”

Sirius grabbed his phone out of Remus’s hands and quickly answered the phone. Putting it on speaker.

“I’m alive, chienne” A familiar voice announced.

“Jesus Reg, we haven’t spoken in years and that’s the first thing you say to me.” Sirius laughed, he moved around to the other side of the bed so he could rest his back against Remus’s chest as Remus leaned against the headboard. Remus kisses his neck and shoulder.

“Yeah. Umm, about that. I’m really, really sorry about... all of that. I-the Snakes, our parents. They’re awful. They wouldn’t let me talk to you or anyone. I had to say all that awful stuff about you. God I wanted to punch every damn player in the locker room for the shit they said about you. I, they just. I’m so sorry.” Regulus rushes out.

“Hey, it’s okay. I kind of figured. Or hoped at least.”

“I really want you to know that I don’t care that you’re gay. I don’t know if Remus is listening or there or whatever but you seem happier then I’ve ever seen you when you’re with him.”

“I am, I really, really am” Sirius smiled. “And yes he is listening.”

Regulus let out a laugh.

“So, how are you with...” Sirius trailed off.

“Loosing my arm and possibly ending my hockey career?”

“Yeah, that”

“I don’t know. Mom and Dad won’t talk to me. No one from the family will. Well, Andromeda called me but she was disowned so it doesn’t really count”

“Andy? Why was she disowned?”

“Married a girl” You could hear the smirk in his voice.

Sirius barked out a laugh. “Not surprising honestly. Good to know there’s more of me”

“True. Oh and get this, better prepare the puke. Sissy’s marrying Malfoy”

“WHAT” Sirius no less than screamed. “Narcissa?”

“Yep” he popped the ‘p’.

“No” Sirius whined. “I had hope for her.”

“So did I. But at least she doesn’t seem that happy about it. It’s more of a bloodline thing”

“I don’t want to be related to Lucius”

“Neither do I”

“What about Bellatrix?”

“Rudolph Lestrange.”

Sirius groaned again.

“What is up with the names in your family” Remus laughed quietly.

“Stars. All names of constellation.” Sirius explained.

“The Black family will be as old as the stars. Never let the bloodline down. Generations and generations of powerful leaders are in your blood. Traitors to the DNA are not true Blacks. Keep the stars alive, at all costs.” Regulus and Sirius said at the same time.

“What?”

“We said that like a prayer. Every night. What I would give to forget it” Sirius groaned. Remus kissed his cheek.

“Besides our fucked up family, how else are you feeling?” He asked, the playfulness leaving his voice.

“I don’t know. I don’t think it’s really set in yet but I’m getting fitted or whatever for a prosthetic as soon as my stitches are out. A bunch of high school students are working on a design I can use for hockey. They’re having some contest or something like that”

“That’s cool” Sirius told him. “NHL going to te laisse jouer” Sirius switched to french subconsciously.

“I don’t know yet. They’re having a meeting about it I think. The Snakes don’t want me anymore, they made that very clear.”

“I’m sorry”

“Oh no don’t be at all, I hate that fucking team anyway.” Regulus said quickly.

“I’m sure teams will be fighting over you” Sirius smiled.

“Maybe. But let’s not talk about it anymore, how are you?”

“I’m good. You fucking terrified me last night. God Reg I thought you were going to die.” Sirius breathed out shakily.

“I’m okay though. That’s what matters.”

“Yeah, yeah I know” Sirius nodded.

Remus held him tighter, pressing a kiss behind his ear as he remembered Sirius falling apart in his arms.

“How are you and Remus?”

“We’re really good. I love him and, yeah” Sirius blushes, playing with his necklace.

“Awww” Reg teased.

“Oh tais-toi”

Regulus laughed. “I’m not lying when I say I’m happy for you. Remus, just know that if I’ll hurt him I’ll kill you. Prosthetics are metal, tu sais”

“Stop it” Sirius scoffed.

“I promise I will never hurt him. I love him more than anything” Remus assured him, turning Sirius’s chin so he could kiss him.

“I love you too” Sirius told him.

“Awwww wittle Siri in wove”Regulus ruined the moment.

“Je te deteste” Sirius groaned.

“You love me” Regulus laughed.

“Sadly”

“Rude”

The brothers bantered back and forth like nothing had ever happened.

“Alright I’ve got to go get more needles poked into my skin but we’ll talk later, ouais?”

“Absolument”

“Bye, love you” Regulus said.

“Love you too” Sirius told him before Regulus hung up.

“I’m so fucking happy for you right now” Remus squeezed him tightly.

“Me too” Sirius smiled widely. “God I’m so happy”

Remus felt like crying, all he wanted was for Sirius to be happy in life and he finally was.

Sirius was crying, a tear fell down his cheek.

“Hey hey what’s wrong?” Remus picked him up and turned him so he was straddling his waist. “What’s wrong, love?”

“Nothing. I- I never thought I could have this, you know. Never thought I would be allowed to love who I wanted, much less have someone who loved me back. I have the most supportive team I could ever hope for, they’re more of a family then my actual family is. Reg doesn’t hate me- never hated me. I never thought I would ever be able to have this” he confessed, tears slowly falling down his face.

Remus kissed them away. “And you deserve all of it. Everything you’ve been through, you deserve the world baby.”

“Good thing I have it” Sirius smiled as he cupped Remus’s face.

“God that was cheesy.” Remus scoffed with a smile.

“It was wasn’t it?” Sirius laughed, kissed Remus’s lips slowly. Safe in the feeling of his arms on his waist, hair tangled in his fingers, soft lips on his. It was him and it was home.

He was lost in the feeling of it before Remus pulled away. Resting their foreheads together.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” Sirius whispered. “I want to adopt a couple of kids, let them run around the house and take them to family skate. I can’t imagine my future without you. I love you more than I can explain. Every time I think about how much I love you it’s like I can’t breath.”

“God, yes. I want that more than anything.” Remus captured his lips in his. Both of them smiling into the kiss.

@lumosinlove

[sanutopia]

Reacquainted [F,A]

jeong yunho (ateez) x reader

Request: Hi can I request a yunho scenario where it’s been a year since your break up and somehow you guys end up meeting and getting back together

word count: over 1500?? i think

a/n: im sorry if this plot seems overdone or if it seems a little rushed towards the end, i’ve been having super bad writers block but i wanted to finish this before i studied for a final im taking this weekend :( other than that i hope you like it!! also i thought id let you know i miss ateez more than anything and need to see them immediately bye 

fluff, angst

“Seriously y/n? You have to get out more!” 

Your coworker, Collin, has been trying to get you to go out after work with him almost everyday for the past month. Sure, you could say yes just so he’ll be quiet, but he’s always been the wild type and that just wasn’t your scene. You used to have things to do after you got off work, like snuggle with Yunho, watch stupid movies that both of you could quote line after line, and eat all the takeout in the world (plus a whole bottle of red wine). But after you started this job about a year ago, your stress levels were at an all time high and work was catching up to you. The movie nights stopped, your happiness was dwindling, and although you didn’t mean it, the frustrations regarding your job were taken out on Yunho. You came home agitated and tired, and Yunho felt day after day the distance growing between you both. You both cared for each other and had each others best interest in mind, which is why you decided to break up. Since then, it’s been the same thing everyday; you wake up, go to work, come home, and go to bed. You only started getting closer to Collin a few months back, considering your desks are right next to each other. He was distracting, which was what you needed to get your mind off of Yunho.

“By ‘getting out’ do you mean going to the club and getting drunk with you? Not my thing.” You continue finishing your last report of the day, too concentrated to listen to what Collin was saying. 

“Well you need to meet some people! I feel like I’m the only person you’ve spoken more than 3 words to since you started working here.” 

He turns around in his chair and scoots it closer to where you’re typing away on your computer. You roll your eyes and scoff, finally turning your chair around to face him. 

“If I say yes, will you shut up?” he smiles when he hears your answer, “Yes, actually, I will.”

“Me and a few people are getting together on Friday night for dinner. You can bring a date if you want. Casual thing, you in?” 

You sigh and roll your eyes once more. “It’ll just be me, no date.” 

“Cool, then I’ll introduce you to one of my old friends. Don’t think he has a date either.” 

For the next couple of days you contemplate this whole possibly meeting a date thing. It’d be nice to enjoy some time out of the office with some work friends and to meet some new people. At the same time, you can’t stop thinking about Yunho. You weren’t sure that you wanted to get introduced to another guy, seeing as you still weren’t over him even after a year. It just didn’t feel right. Regardless, you go the next few days looking forward to this weekend. 

Come Friday, you get ready for dinner, dressing casual since Collin made you promise to not get too dressed up. You still looked classy, though, because God knows what guy Collin brought to introduce to you. Collin texted you the location of the restaurant and it turned out to be a few blocks from your apartment. It was the restaurant right next to the little diner where you and Yunho used to get chocolate milkshakes every Friday. The memory hits a soft spot and you contemplate bailing, but you wouldn’t hear the end of that at work on Monday, so ultimately, you decide against it. 

You enter the lobby where people are standing waiting to be seated and look around for Collin. You wander around the lobby and decide to stand against the wall, pulling out your phone to ask your co-worker where he is. As soon as you unlock it, you hear a laugh that is oh-so familiar along with a tone of voice that sends shivers down the expanse your back. 

“Oh, there she is- y/n!” you hear Collin shout. You slowly turn around and pray that he isn’t with him. Not that you don’t want to see him, you just hadn’t mentally prepared yourself to see his bright, smiling face again, or what you would say to him if he were in front of you. 

He’s towering over Collin like he does everyone, his hair is a darker shade of brown now, and if anything, he’s cuter than you remember. He looks just as nervous as you do, maybe more. Collin stands in the middle of you two and tries to make conversation. 

“Well, now we’re just waiting on the other two. They’ll probably be late... no shock there. Anyway... y/n, this is one of my friends from college, Yunho. We haven’t really talked but a few times since we graduated, so I figured we could catch up and get reacquainted. Yunho, this is y/n.” 

He softly smiles, as if he’s happy to see you and reaches to shake your hand. It’s warm and so much bigger than yours and you realize then how much you missed holding it and feeling it on your skin. 

“Nice to see you, y/n.” In a way, you’re surprised he’s acting like he’s never met you, but that would be a hell of a backstory to explain over dinner with your annoying co-worker, so you play along. 

Your other two co-workers eventually come, late as expected, and you all get seated at a huge circle table in the back of the dining room. Yunho sits next to you, partly because Collin basically forced him; not that he was complaining. It was awkward for the first fifteen minutes or so before everyone ordered drinks. The waiter got to you for your order and before you could say anything, Collin ordered for you. 

“She’ll have a glass of white wine. She needs to let loose a little.” He smiles at you as if he did you a favor, but you decline and ask for water instead. After seeing Yunho, you won’t be able to handle wine, because then you’ll be a crying slob on the floor. 

Yunho leans over slightly giggling, “You hate white wine.”

You finally let out the breath you didn’t know you were holding and giggle with him. “Red wine is so much better.” 

The rest of dinner consists of your three co-workers chatting about how they despise your boss while you and Yunho are at the other side of the table catching up. His voice is soft and gentle, sort of how it was when things were going smooth between you two. He looks genuinely happy, and that is your greatest wish come true. 

“You look beautiful as ever. It’s great to see you happy and not stressed. I’m taking it the job is going well?”

“I’ve gotten used to it now. Not as overwhelming as it was at first.”

You both spend the evening laughing about old memories while the other 3 slowly get more and more tipsy. The night ends with Collin and the other 2 going to the dive bar across the street so they can have some more beer. As you’re walking out, They invite you and Yunho to join. 

“Actually, I’m just gonna head home, I’m feeling a little tired.” 

You start to walk down the sidewalk until Yunho catches up to you. “Are you gonna walk by yourself?” you nod in response to him to which he scoffs and stays next to you. You know better than to think he would let you walk in the dark alone. He cares about you to much. He’s swaying as he walks, hands in his pockets since he’s not used to holding your hand. 

“Did you go out with anyone after-”

“No. Did you?”

He shakes his head no. That gives you a slight feeling of relief. You couldn’t imagine any other human loving Yunho aside from yourself. He was your first love and you thought he’d be the only one. You just didn’t know if he felt the same way. 

You get to the stairs of your apartment and fish the key out of your purse. You can feel Yunho’s presence behind you, but it almost seems as if he’s nervous. You hear him suck in a breath and then sigh. 

“Would you... wanna do dinner again sometime? Just me and you though?” 

You turn and look at his face. His cheeks are slightly blushed and his ears give away the fact that he’s flustered. He looks more nervous than when he asked you out the first time. 

“Are you asking me on a date, Yunho?” he nods slightly, and when you don’t respond immediately he starts panicking. “O-Or not.. If I got the wrong idea from tonight, or i-if you don’t want to give this another sh-”

You cut him off with a gentle kiss to his cheek which he swears electrifies his whole body. He always rambles when he’s nervous. His cheeks are even more red now, but his bright smile returns when he sees you pulling away, smiling back at him. 

“Does that answer your question?” 

“That’s one way to put it.”

The door is opened and you’re standing inside now staring at Yunho, who is standing on the doormat almost looking sad he has to leave you now. He goes to tell you goodbye and slightly starts to turn away from you. 

“I missed you, Yunho. A lot.”

“I missed you too. More than I could describe.” 

You open the door a little wider and motioned him to come in, to which obviously he accepts. You place your hands on his shoulders and reach up to delicately kiss his lips. He welcomes you and wraps his arms around your waist, then moving them up to cradle your head. As you pull away, his thumb brushes your cheek. 

“Feeling you kiss me again makes me not wanna stop.” 

You put your hand on top of his, “Stay the night...please...” 

He kisses your forehead, “I’d stay here forever if that’s what you asked.”

That night, you were finally reacquainted to the feeling of Yunho cradling you as you slept on his chest, and you swear you’ve never slept so sound until now.

-----END-----

[mccnyoongi]

buttercup ⇢ pt one

⇢ pairing: yoongi x fem!reader

⇢ genre: smut + slight angst

⇢ au: college!au, fwb!au, stoner!yoongi, assholeish!yoongi, fuckboyish!yoongi fwb to lovers trope

⇢ word count: 6k+

⇢ warnings: smut, honestly mostly porn, unprotected sex, recreational use of drugs & alcohol, dirty talk, praise, degradation, ridiculously excessive use of pet names, fingering, dom!Yoongi, unprotected sex, slight dumbification (whoops), hair pulling, creampie??, oral (f receiving), pussy slaping, reader has a thing for Yoongi’s hands because who doesn’t, reader and yoongi are both sarcastic and oblivious, this part is basically pwp.

⇢ synopsis: Min Yoongi wears leather jackets, fucks you like he hates you, spends most of his days on the wrong side of a blunt, and calls you the sweetest names when no one else is around. And you definitely aren’t falling in love with him.

⇢ author’s note: so yes, buttercup is being cut up into two parts thanks to a lot of my life getting uprooted this week!!! ill spare you the details but everything is really chaotic rn so im sorry this isnt exactly what i promised :( thank u for all the insane amont of love ive gotten so far. this is a pretty um... filthy piece of writing skfjsd and it’s definitely not perfect and id love to get better with everything i put out on here but i hope u guys enoy ily xx

If there was a magic lantern hidden somewhere on the campus of this university, you’d find it and your first wish would be to make it so that no one found out about this whole illicit affair you’ve been having with Min Yoongi. The secrecy was fun, sexy like you guys had a whole Mr. and Mrs. Smith thing going on. Or something. Your second wish would be to make his dick vibrate. 

But then he just had to go and go down on you in a bathroom during a party at the Beta Tau Rho house, not even a month into the fall semester, knowing you wouldn’t be able to be quiet or subtle at all. And he was so smug about it too, the fucker.

You can still feel the embarrassment buzzing under the surface of your cheeks from when you walked out that bathroom door and a dozen frat boys and mutual friends of yours and Yoongi’s were out there, waiting for the two of you to emerge and giving you a round of applause when you did. Yoongi had just laughed and rolled his eyes before leading you to the kitchen to get the pair of you some drinks. He’s always been particularly good at brushing that shit off of his shoulder. You aren’t, but you’re pretty good at pretending.

Maybe you should have ended it all that night. Of course, you didn’t. You figured, hey,  you’re young and in school so fuck making good decisions. Of course, the fact that no other guy has ever been able to dick you down nearly as well as Min Yoongi can is probably a huge contributing factor. 

Sure he might be grumpy, and sarcastic, and he tries way too hard to look cool and nonchalant, but he’s also the first guy to ever make you squirt. And you’re pretty sure that the way he waxes poetic about your pussy would make even Shakespeare swoon. So maybe the pros outweigh the cons, but only just.

“I can’t believe you’ve been getting Yoongi dick for almost three full months and haven’t divulged every single detail and vein to me, you cold, uncaring bitch-” Jimin’s voice is far too loud for the student-run coffee shop the two of you regulared every Sunday; a tradition that Jimin always insisted upon. He loves his traditions almost as much as he loves destroying any personal boundaries between the two of you.

“Keep going Park, see if I ever buy your coffee again.”

“Don’t change the subject,” You can’t say you’re surprised that Jimin is reacting like this. Self-proclaimed ‘disaster bisexual,’ Jimin was one of the very first friends you made back when you were a shy, barely functioning freshman. 

He actually introduced you to all his frat brothers, and a large number of the people you now call your friends. Including Yoongi, whose dick seems to be a reoccurring topic between you and… most people you know. Even if they weren’t at that dumb party, Jungkook made sure that every living being that stepped onto campus was aware of the newly found out fuckbuddies.

“We don’t keep anything from each other, Y/N,” He’s whining over his coffee now, full lips perched in that pretty pout that he regularly uses to his advantage. “I even told you about that time I puked on Namjoon’s dick in our second year!”

“Mmm, and I wish you hadn’t told me, Minnie-” The visual still haunts you, but Jimin has never had any predilections when it came to oversharing, especially not with people who have the misfortune of being his best friends. “‘Sides, I didn’t figure it was important, the whole Yoongi thing-”

“His dick, you mean.”

“Because it’s not like we’re getting married,” You carefully ignore him, a useful habit you’ve picked up three years into being his friend. “Just sex, remember?”

“So fucking what? You told me how you sucked Jeon’s cock in a movie theatre less than twelve hours after it happened-” You take a large gulp of your own iced coffee to busy yourself when the shameful memory is brought up. Not shameful because of the promiscuity of the act, no you’re an adult, thank you very much, but rather because of the boy you performed them on. Jeon Jungkook is now more of an annoying younger brother to you than anything. Not to mention he’s got a giant mouth that couldn’t keep a secret even if it killed him.

“Jesus you could’ve picked any other example-” You groan out as Jimin smirked, receiving the exact reaction from you he wanted. You think you’d have learned by now. “I’m sorry, okay? You big baby.”

“Hey, you’re on thin ice,” He points an accusatory finger at you and you have to fight the urge to smack it out of your face. “Now you have to make it up to me.”

You sigh- Jimin can really be exhausting when you’re only half a medium coffee in. “And how do you expect me to do that, Park.”

“Dick details, fucking obviously,” He says it like you’re a moron for even asking. And maybe you are. “Well details in general, I guess. You know, the basics; length, girth, does he make you call him daddy, is he good- I mean he must be un-fucking-real if you’ve been bouncing on it for three goddamn months, you whore.”

“I’m not giving you measurements, Jimin, I’ve yet to take a tape measure to it- and stop assuming everyone has a daddy kink just ‘cause you do.”

“Okay, vanilla bitch. You’re lucky I already know he’s got a monster cock from that time he streaked at that post-mid-term party next year.”

“Then why’d you even ask?”

“To see if you’d tell me the truth. It was a test and you failed.”

“I may be a college student but you’re gonna have to threaten me with a little more than a failing grade to spook me,” You roll your eyes playfully- there’s no real threat in his words, there never is.

“You’re right, I’m sure you’d much rather be punished by Yoongi, huh?”

                    ..............................................................................

Watching Yoongi roll a joint, his long, slender and experienced fingers moving quickly and deftly, has always had this near hypnotizing-like effect on you. His apartment smells like weed, the scent never surprising and would almost be overwhelming if you weren’t so used to it by now. The sight alone is almost enough to make you wet. But you’re stronger than that- except for when you’re not. 

Sexy hands aside, but unfortunately not on you, you’re thankful for his cannabis-related expertise because a) you can’t roll one yourself to save your life and b) despite normally reserving your consumption habits for parties, you feel like you deserve a fat one after the week you’ve had. What with, you know, the stress of having every student on campus knowing about yours and Yoongi’s torrid affair, thanks to fucking Jeon Jungkook. Brat. Plus incessant goading from both Jimin and your roommate, Irene- equally angry as Jimin about your worst kept secret- has only made you sink further into your insecure and paranoid thoughts.

The weed would help, you’d told yourself when your phone pinged with that much anticipated what’re u up 2? late night text from the raven-haired devil himself. Yep, it was the weed, the comforting blanket of getting high. And had nothing to do with the boy that was offering them. Not even his fat cock or magnetic pull he seemed to have on you. 

“Alright, dove,” He says from his spot on his worn-out single-dorm couch- the names don’t tend to surprise you the way they used to. You kinda figured that the affection-starved Yoongi had just you know… gotten comfortable with the girl he had been fucking for the last couple of months. No big deal. Sure they made your heart swell and your panties dampen, but then it could be looked at as a positive. 

He looks up at you from his spot on the couch, where he’s uncomfortably hunched over the table as he works and notices how you’re looking rather spaced out- not entirely rare for you. He’s used to the hundred-mile stare you tend to adopt when deep in thought, though it’s considerably less common for a sober you.

“Dove?” Nothing. “Y/N?” It’s the use of your actual name from his lips that finally grabs your attention.  You finally turn your head to look at him, the glaze of deep thought finally leaving your eyes. An eyebrow quirks to let him know you’ve heard him, but his gaze remains piercing and unwavering on yours. “You need to stop worrying so much, dove.”

“That’s what the weed is for, Yoongs.”

“The weed? You’re just here so I can smoke you out then, huh? No ulterior motives, hm?” His tone is as dry and sarcastic as ever, qualities he had quickly become known for around campus. He shurgs “Fine. Just here to sesh. C’mere then.”

You scoot closer to his side of the couch, not even thinking twice before listening to him. His tongue is tantalizing as he licks the rolling paper, even if he doesn’t mean it to be. He’s almost always tantalizing to you.

“Don’t be grumpy. You invited me over,” Your words are softer than you meant, but your proximity to him makes you feel stilted. He was right, you really needed a smoke, more on edge than ever.

“Well, technically,” He starts, unlit, perfectly rolled joint now perched between his lips. He grabs at your legs before continued so that you were resting sideways on the black couch, legs strewn over legs, thighs touching thighs. “I invited the best pussy on campus over.” You crinkle your nose at his bluntness.

“Yoongi-” You scold indignantly and pinch at a well-toned bicep. “Don’t be an asshole, you asshole.” He grins despite the insult like he’d expected it. Or he’s revelling in it.

“You know I’m just fucking around, angel,” His arm tucks around your waist comfortably, pulling you even closer. “Tryna chill you out. I can tell when you’re all strung out. I know how you,” He pokes you in the middle of the forehead, still grinning, as you pout from being called strung out. “Tick.” 

He really does, doesn't he? The thought is mildly terrifying, and you think that Yoongi might be too smart or his own good sometimes. When he’s not smoking himself into another dimension, that is.

He leans back into his seat, uncurling from around you to finally light up. A few sparks later and the room is fogging up with overly pungent smoke- the cheap smell makes you think that he probably bought it off of Hobi, too lazy to go any further off-campus than his own block of apartments to one of the nice but relatively affordable dispensaries. You crinkle your nose at the scent, grateful he’s too distracted to notice since he’d probably just tease you for liking the fancy shit more. At least you trust Hobi, and he lives only two buildings down from Yoongi. Truly an age of convenience.

A few passes, tokes, whatevers later, and you’re feeling substantially... floaty. You’ve completely relaxed, choosing to lie down rather than put the effort into sitting up, though your legs are still thrown across your equally high counterpart’s. What’s left of the roach is left to burn in one of many strategically placed ashtrays around the apartment, this one being on the living room table.

Yoongi has barely moved in the past while, head resting lazily on the back of the couch, black hair messy and his neck- which is somehow handsome to you- stretched out, and hands resting against your bare knees. You’ve barely paid him any mind, the silence nothing but comforting and easy. 

Which is why you can’t help but jolt just a little in surprise when those hands, the hypnotizing ones you’re so obsessed with suddenly start creeping up your legs, halfway up your thighs, carefully kneading the supple flesh he finds there. He chuckles at your reaction, finally picking his up his head to watch you through heavy-lidded eyes. “Bet you’re extra sensitive right now, huh petal?” He doesn’t have to bet because he knows it’s true, knows how needy you get when you’ve smoked. And he loves it- it’s why he never makes you pay for any of the times he smokes you out.

“Fuck off,” You whine at his light-hearted teasing, but Yoongi just giggles- he fucking giggles- in response, hands still travelling the expanse of your thighs. 

“Be nice,” His words are still jovial, but there’s a gruffness behind them that sends a shiver down your spine, despite the relative stuffiness of his living room.

“I am nice, you’re just a dick,” You pout- childish, but you can’t quite come up with anything more clever at the moment. The jab may be weaker than your usual quips, but Yoongi seems to have decided it’s enough to warrant a punishment of sorts, as he sends a quick slap onto your thigh. It’s certainly not the harshest hit you’ve received from him, it’s more playful than anything, but it’s enough to make you whine, not even noticing when your own hands jump down to grab at him and your now sore flesh.

His eyes take on a new sort of darkness, beyond the dilated pupils from the high he’s in the middle of as he grabs at your wrists, any assault you had planned halting in its tracks. His large hands that you’ve drooled over- figuratively and literally- many a time are big enough that he only needs one of them to hold both of yours steady. He uses his grip on you to yank you back up to a sitting position, where your noses almost touch and you can feel his breath fan across your lips.

“I told you, I know how you tick,” He lets his tongue swipe out to wet his lips, the act distracts you and makes you mimic it with your own tongue and lips. The smirk he gives you is all at once wicked and panty dampening. “Which means I know you like it when I’m mean. I know you like when I treat you like this, like my little slut,” The word makes you draw in a breath as your face reddens in humiliation and tension. “And- and I know you’re probably soaking through your panties right now, all over my couch. Making a fucking mess.”

It infuriates you to no end how right he is as your breaths come out shaky and uneven as you feel your pussy flutter around nothing beneath your shorts and panties. 

“Aren’t you?” His tone doesn’t leave room for playfulness anymore, and you’re nodding dumbly before you can give it a second thought. “Good girl.”

He doesn’t give you any time to bask in the praise before he’s leaning in to capture your lips in a searing and sloppy kiss. He’s domineering even in the way he kisses you, teeth biting and tongue sweeping into your own mouth as he revels in the small sounds that escape you. His hands leave your wrists, freeing them so you can grip onto raven locks with a newly freed hand as his own wrap around your waist. 

Every sense is filled with him, and it is all at once comforting and exhilarating.

He tugs and roughly manhandles you so that you’re properly astride his denim-covered thighs, your lips never untangling in the process. When your lips finally do come apart, it’s with a lewd sound and a gasp from your mouth. He’s still smirking.

“Gonna fuck you so good petal,” Yoongi has always been so blunt and unforgiving, whether in bed or out and it had been one of the things that first attracted you to him, besides his obvious good looks. 

Before the two of you had even gotten together, when you were friends who didn’t fuck on the regular, you had even mustered up the courage to touch yourself to the thought of him speaking to you like this- your own fingers circling your clit and delving into yourself without abandon. You had only been able to imagine up a fraction of his sexual prowess. 

Like the time only a few weeks ago you admitted to him in a foggy haze, high than you think you’d ever been. how you’d brought yourself to climax with images and soundbites of him flitting through your head. He’d immediately made you put on a show for him- recreating those nights, but this time with him sitting feet away from you and ignoring your pleas for him to touch you.

Right now, however, the only things keeping you grounded in reality is the feeling of the muscles in his thighs flexing beneath you, though nowhere near where you truly ache to be touched, and one of his hands brutishly tangled in your hair, pulling harshly so he can have easy access to your neck. Plush lips start soft, kissing and licking at the skin there, before his teeth join in, biting and sucking like he loves the taste of you (because he does).

“Y-yoongi-” You’re trying to keep the whimpers at bay, like maybe if you stop yourself from seeming so turned on so fast it’ll get him to fuck you faster. “C’mon, just fuck me already.”

“So demanding for such a needy bitch,” He has you squirming on his lap and you don’t know why you thought you had any power over him left. “Have you forgotten your place? Can’t think of anything else but getting fucked, huh?”

You nod in agreement, but find out he must want a verbal response when you’re met with a sharp spank to your ass that has you squealing and bucking into his lap. “Yeah, yeah Yoongi ‘m sorry, just need it.”

“I know, baby, I know, you can’t even help it when you get all messy like this, I know,” You can’t decide whether his words are sweet or patronizing when he coos at you like that, but either way he’s got you another pair of panties.

“Need you to fix it, Yoongs,” All pride is out the window when he’s got you like this, and you love pleading with him to give you what you want almost as much as likes making you beg.

“I will,” He gives you one more harsh bite to the junction of your neck and your shoulder that you know will blossom into a bruise just in time for your 10 AM class tomorrow and you hiss at the mingling of pain and pleasure. “Now fucking get up,” He pats lightly at your thigh twice at the order.

You’re in no position to disobey, and you know from experience that not listening to him will end up with a sore ass and no release in sight. You stand up on shaky, doe-like legs and he grins at the sight of you. He stands up with you, his lean form and strong stance making him look taller than he really is. Then his long fingers are pulling at what little clothing you have, stripping you of both your tank top and your shorts and your bra isn’t far behind. Soon you’re clad only in your panties while he’s still fully clothed in black form-fitting jeans and a plain white t-shirt. Thankfully he leaves his cliche, but devastatingly sexy leather jacket at the door.

He doesn’t make any move to undress at all and you hope to god he will eventually- you love seeing his honey-coloured skin covered in a thin layer of sweat as he fucks you into oblivion. But for now, he stays fully clothed and he roughly pulls you by your upper arm until he can bend you over the arm of the couch, panty-covered ass high and perfectly on display for him.

“God, you’re fucking dripping,” He taunts, fingers running over your pussy through the thin cotton, making you whine into the rough cushion your face is resting on. “All this from almost nothing, huh? You’re such a fucking slut for me, shit.” He sounds genuinely amazed by you and when you uncomfortably crane your neck back to get a good look at him you let out a proper moan. He must have stripped his shirt off when you weren’t facing him, because his chest is bare for you to gaze at, or you would gaze at it if you weren’t distracted by the hand that isn’t on you, which is lazily working over his cock, rock hard and aching through his jeans.

He smirks when he notices what’s grabbed your attention, knowing you’re only moments away from quite literally drooling on his pillows. “Is this what you want? Hm?”

“Ye-yeah your cock, Yoongi, need your cock,” Your face burns red and blood burns hot as the crude words leave your mouth.

“And you’ll fucking get it, dove,” The cute name contrasts the second harsh spank he lands on your ass and you moan at the delicious sting. 

You think that he must be about to tear your panties off and sink into you, but that would be too predictable and Yoongi loves to keep you on your toes. Instead, he disappears from your line of sight, a dull thump coming from the hardwood as he drops to his knees, feline gaze now level with your cunt. 

“Yoongi-” You’re whining again, and you even have to hold yourself back from stomping your foot childishly because, god, you just need him to do something.

And then he finally does- he licks a thick stripe, right from your clit to your entrance, still over your panties, and you gasp in surprise. He does it again, twice, three, four times until your hips are bucking and you’re whining because you need more, you need him to actually touch you and not be a giant fucking tease for once in his life.

“Be fucking patient,” He hisses out, but at least he’s finally rolling your underwear down your legs to toss them somewhere across the room. “Or I swear to god, I’ll hold you down just like this so you can’t even squirm while I get myself off all over your messy cunt,” His hand is running up and down your bare pussy as he speaks, spreading the wetness around, to your clit and your thighs and your ass and then back again. “And then I’ll send you home without touching you or cleaning you up, so you’ll have to take the subway home covered in my come and fucking trembling. So be fucking good.” At the last word, he lands a mean slap against your gushing cunt and you let out an embarrassing squeak.

“Shit-fuck- Yoongi, please, just-” You stutter through your words, needing to get them out, though you don’t know why. “I’ll be good, okay? ‘M your good girl, I am, promise, I’ll be good.”

He doesn’t respond, at least not verbally. But you have to assume he’s happy with your desperate response when he finally delves into your pussy like a man starved, tongue licking into you, the muscle sending spasms up and down your legs. You have to muffle your moans by biting into a pillow, not needing another altercation with his neighbours, but you want nothing more than to yell his name as loud as you can until your voice goes hoarse when he shakes his head from side to side, tongue still buried inside of you and one of his hands now roughly circling your clit. 

It’s too much, but it’s not nearly enough. It’s when he switches positions between his hand and mouth that you think you might explode; his mouth latches onto your clit, tongue circling and playing with it and two fingers fucking into you, preparing you for the impressive girth of his own cock.

Your teeth let go of the strong grip it has so you can warn him of your impending orgasm. “Yoongi- gonna come-” You manage to choke out between barely quieted moans.

You know that he wouldn’t be able to respond if he was still suckling on your clit, but you still whine and wiggle your hips as he pulls away, earning you yet another spank to your rear, where you can only assume a nice handprint is forming. “Yeah? Want you to come all over my face, like a good messy whore- gotta come for me before I can fuck you like you need.” 

When his mouth finds your swollen clit again, you can’t help it as your orgasm barrels through you almost violently, every muscle tensing and fingers grasping at whatever they can find, neighbour’s delicate sensibilities forgotten as you moan out Yoongi’s name. He licks you through it, fingers no longer pistoning into you. When the last of the tremors have faded he finally pulls away, using his clean hand to wipe your mess off of his chin, though it hardly cleans him. 

“Good fucking girl,” The roughness with which he was grinding his still covered bulge into your now sopping wet center would be impossible to ignore even if your head weren’t a million miles away. But for now, everything is Yoongi, every single scent is filled with him and you think that that might be making your head even fuzzier than the drugs coursing through your system, but you’re too far gone to be sure. Or to even care.

Because all you can think about is his mouth-watering hands kneading at the slightly pinkened skin of your ass, his mouth-watering cock rutting against you and his mouth-watering, well, mouth pressing wet kisses and occasional bites up and down your spine. “Yoongi,” You meant to speak with at least a little more conviction, but his name comes out as little more than a mumble.

“Hm,” He hums against your skin and even those slight vibrations reverberate straight to your heart, which starts beating faster at the thought of what’s to come. “What, is my babygirl still needy?” 

The use of the word my in front of the affectionate name makes your heart jump, but you don’t even have time to scold yourself for thinking with your post-orgasmic pussy before he continues talking with that sinful mouth of him. “Such a greedy, desperate girl, won’t be happy ‘til you’re stuffed full of my fat cock,” His words have you whining and grinding back against him, where you don’t have to look to know you’re leaving a stain on his favourite jeans.  If you’re unlucky- or lucky depending on your mood- he’ll make you clean it up with your tongue as further delicious torture. 

But smoking makes Yoongi needy too, no matter how much he teases you for the effect it has on you, and he can’t wait much longer, not with his cock so hard he was a razor blades’ edge from losing his mind. He needs to be inside you as much as you need him.

Which is why you don’t doubt him for a second when he’s murmuring things about how he’s ‘gonna fuck you so good, gonna fuck you stupid,’ and you can only respond with even quieter whispers of ‘I knows’ and ‘pleases’ as he strips himself oh the rest of his clothes, hissing from oversensitivity as his cock makes contact with the air. It’s wonderfully overwhelming and he’s not even fucking you yet.

You can’t even explain how grateful you are when Yoongi turns you around because you love just seeing his cock. You’ve never been one to describe guys’ dicks as pretty before- except that TA you managed to fuck before Jimin sunk his claws into him, Kim Seokjin, because, well, you’re not blind. But Yoongi’s dick is gorgeous. It’s not the biggest thing you’ve ever seen, and it doesn’t have to be, not when it’s girthy enough to make you salivate with a curve that points to the heavens. Gorgeous.

He’s pulling you on top of him so he can sit back down and you’re back to straddling him, and you don’t complain because you know he’s tired both from the pot and crouching on his haunches for access to your center not two minutes ago. Plus he loves when you ride him, breasts bouncing in his face, wetness making a mess out of his lap and full access of your entire body for both his hands and lips.

“Need you to bounce on my fat cock before I fucking explode, baby,” And you’d have to be some sort of a madwoman to deny him.

“Need it too, Yoongs,” You don’t know why you feel the need to remind how desperate you are for him, surely he can feel it, your swollen pussy resting only centimetres above his throbbing length. “Can’t think of anything else.”

“I know,” He’s rubbing the angry red tip against your sopping folds, tinges of overstimulation making you jolt. Or you would jolt if his hands weren’t heavy on your waist, keeping you steady so you couldn’t a) get away from his cock or b) properly sink down onto it. “So pathetic and perfect for me like this, all cock drunk and fucked out and I haven’t even fucked you yet, huh?”

You nod frantically, and you can’t even find the energy to be embarrassed when a hand comes up to pet your hair with a condescending ‘awe’ as he pouts at you. You bat his hand away with a whine and furrowed eyebrows, but all that gets you is his hand tangled in your hair, yanking sharply in retaliation. “Careful, slut, or you won’t be coming for the next week-”

“Please, Yoongi-” You don’t let him finish, knowing from experience to always take his threats seriously. “I’m sorry, I’m fucking sorry, okay just please-”

You cut yourself off with a high pitched, tea kettle-like squeak as he uses his hands on you as leverage to have you sink down onto his cock in one fell swoop. “Shit, god, you’re always so fucking tight around me, fuck me.”

I am, is what you wish you were coherent enough to snark back with, but you’re sure no one would blame you if they could feel what you feel right now. And what you’re feeling right now is how well Yoongi feels inside of you, like no cock you’ve ever had. Every ridge and vein on his cock fills you up to the fucking brim, no room left for a pinky or a thought that has to do with anything other than Yoongi, Yoongi, Yoongi.

And then he starts with those devilish moments of his hip, fucking into you shallowly and slowly to start and it’s all Yoongi’s dick. 

“Fucking bounce on it, dove. Fuck yourself on my cock, show me how much you need it,” He speaks through gritted teeth, each word a struggle as he tries not to fuck into you without thought. And it’s with the satisfaction you get knowing he’s just as desperate for you as you are for him that you find the strength to do as he says.

With quivering thighs, you push up and off of his cock, the two of you sharing a harmonious groan at the feeling, foreheads pressed against each other, skin sweaty. And this all just in the calm before the storm. 

It’s not long before the both of you are moving frantically, mere seconds, really. It’s intense and all-encompassing, as you grind and roll your hips, cock deeper than you knew to be possible, and his bucking his own hips into you roughly, no doubt as deeply in some sort of euphoria as you are. His hands are everywhere and so are his lips. He sucks marks into your tits and gropes your ass, controlling your movements to the best of his abilities.

All of that, plus your clit grinding against his pelvic bone every other second and your head just might be in another universe. 

Yoongi’s words are swirling around in your head, though you’re not properly taking any of it in- his velvety voice goes on about how wet you are, how tight you are, how you’re a good girl and it’s all another instrument in your downfall. You’ve never been much for heights but being with Yoongi feels like something akin to what you assume bungee jumping is like, and you’re just about at that point where your cord runs out of length and your heart drops to the bottom of your stomach.

“Tell me you’re fucking close, baby, c’mon,” This is as close to pleading as you can ever get Yoongi but you’re still swimming in pride. He brings a hand off of your ass to cup your cheek, brushing away your now mussed hair and a single stray tear and you drink in the look in his eyes, dark red-rimmed and needing. “Gonna fill you up with my come, just like I know you like, my perfect little cumslut, fuck, just need you to come first, yeah? All over my fucking cock.”

And with a particularly hard grasp at your ass, bringing you to grind your clit against him again, you’re gone. It’s considerably less intense than the previous one, as many second orgasms are, but your head is still spinning and you think you might have drooled a little, but you don’t mind and you know Yoongi doesn’t. Your attempts to stifle your moans are unsuccessful as the name of the man attached to your favourite cock falls from your lips like a mantra.

And where your orgasm is, Yoongi is rarely far behind- he loves seeing you fall apart around him, because of him and you always clench so fucking hard around him in the peak of your pleasure how could he fucking not. He’s grunting, moaning, damn near growling as he spurts his own release as deep into you as he possibly can, coating every inch of your delectable pussy, vague mumbles of how he’s filling you up, just like you’re meant to be that you can just barely hear.

Shakey breaths hit each of your faces as you come down, now still and worn out. Your chests move up and down and you don’t know when you’ve buried your face into the crook of his neck, but the warmth and smell are more comforting than any hit you’ve ever taken off of one of his blunts.

“Shit, buttercup,” He chuckles, the vibrations rumbling through his chest and where you’ve tucked yourself He runs a hand through his sweaty black locks, the other hand locked around your waist. “I don’t know how we’re gonna move without making this couch fucking disgusting.” Mood killer.

“Don’t give a shit.”

“Yeah, but I do. Especially if Joon or Hobi someone finds it and makes a big fucking deal out of it, like no other guy in his twenties has some come stained furniture.”

You pull back from the spot you wish he’d just let you fall asleep in so he can see your pout. He can’t find the sight of you… adorable? Your hair matted, bruises, courtesy of yours truly littering your tits and chest, a thin sheen of sweat making your skin glow and bottom lip jutted out exactly enough to be overexaggerated and so fucking adorable. 

At that moment he’s glad that about three weeks ago the two of you had started to break the unspoken no sleeping over after sex rule because he just wants to clean you up and feel you curl yourself around him like you like to.

You don’t know what time it is, just that it’s late and that it doesn't matter, because this was certainly time well spent. You wonder how much sleep you’ve given up in lieu of Yoongi’s pretty dick. Of course, it does matter... because you have a 9 am class tomorrow morning that you can’t miss, but that’s for future you to worry about. For now, it’s time to try to get up without defiling this Ikea couch (you failed miserably and giggled about it while Yoongi groaned in mock pain), burn out just one more joint, steal some clothes for bed and some snacks from his fridge, and pass the fuck out on his bed, which you think is way better than yours, but that has nothing to do with the boy in it or his comforting warmth and smell.

                     ..............................................................................

Past you is a dumb bitch. Also maybe current you. Point being, you hate you, because you’re sore and stiff and ten minutes late to your dumb 9 am class and it’s all Yoongi’s fucking fault. You texted him this much, calling him a ‘little bitch boy’ for not even waking you up to make you a cup of coffee with his fancy instant coffee machine before you left. He hasn’t responded yet because holy fuck does that guy sleep like a rock. A really cute, cuddly, sex-god rock.

But, as usual, Jimin came in clutch, handing you off a coffee as your paths crossed on campus, each of you heading to your respective classes. He gave you a one-armed-too-tight hug and a comment on how you have that very glamourous ‘I got fucked by Min Fucking Yoongi last night and you didn’t so I’m better than you look.’ You tried to take it as a compliment as you thanked him for the coffee. He gave you a cute kiss to your forehead that reminded you you could never even be annoyed at him for too long.

And now you’re in class. Headache from not getting enough sleep getting worse by the second while you tried not to think about what judgements people must be passing on you, with your sunglasses inside and hickeys you didn’t have time to cover up.

When your phone pings you assume it’s Jimin, with something slutty or sarcastic or both. But it’s not. It’s Yoongi- well, it’s what you have Yoongi’s number saved under, aka the drooling emoji three times over… You’re surprised he’s awake, you’re pretty sure he doesn’t have shit to do until the afternoon. 

You have a fleeting thought that it could be a dick pic- yeah it’s a little early for that kind of dumb fuckboy behaviour, and you’d previously thought that too, but Kim Taehyung proved you wrong last year. 

Yoongi isn’t a dick pic kind of guy anyway. No, he’s the guy that sends pictures of his hand around your throat that one night you let him take artsy photos of you two fucking on his film camera. The kind of guy that sends you audios of him jerking off and moaning your name that you listen to through your earphones in between classes because he knew you wouldn’t be able to help yourself. He’s the guy that drives you crazy because you can never quite predict what he’s gonna do next.

[9:23 am] From 🤤🤤🤤: you could have woken me you know dummy

[9:24 am] From 🤤🤤🤤: subways are gross in the morning

[9:25 am] From 🤤🤤🤤: i could have u know, driven u…

[9:26 am] From 🤤🤤🤤: cant really say no to u buttercup.

You don’t know why you’re heart’s beating so fast so you reprimand yourself for thinking with your pussy. Min motherfucking Yoongi is gonna be the death of you.