#only to find my abandoned account following this dude i had never even heard of

[deus-ex-mona]

this dumb site has got to s t o p doing this, man. smh

[sckyie]

word count: 1.9k

genre + warnings: bittersweet fluff + some angst?; timeskip!sakusa, drunk sakusa, kabedon, alcohol mentions

pronouns used: they/them

a/n: im sleepy omfg anyways hi im writing stuff on my other account after this

You were always the more affectionate type in the relationship between you and Sakusa. Well, that's what you would call it. Nothing was ever official the two of you but, he never minded when you held his hand in private, cuddled beside him, or even called him cutesy names. He was comfortable around you, it was almost as if he were a different person altogether.

Though he didn't mind the unofficial title, it did sting in your chest that you didn't technically matter enough for anything to be set and stone. It was hard to bring it up but also keep a cool head when talking about it. You wanted to be known as Sakusa's significant other, not just his best friend.

An upcoming MSBY dinner before the big game was approaching and Sakusa had asked you to accompany him as his date. You doodled on your notes as you looked at your calendar on your desk. Your mind wandered thinking about Sakusa. Why hasn't he asked you to be his yet? What would his teammates say when he introduces you as his best friend?

A few days before the dinner, you invited Sakusa out to a small lunch. You dragged him along to the grocery store to buy the food and drinks. You had your arm looped around him up until you arrived at the steps of the doors of the store. He shrugs you off him and looks away from you, something he always does. You sighed as you tugged his sleeve to drag him to the proper aisles.

He was distracted, to say the least, as you were picking out the different ingredients for your lunch date. Sakusa didn't even take notice when you disappeared into a different area. It wasn't like him to do such a thing but once he realized you were gone, he was sent into a panic. He quickly drifts into other sections, searching for you.

That's when he found you speaking to someone else. Speaking to another man in particular. You weren't flirting with him or anything, you were talking to him about which brand of spice would taste better for your dish. Turns out, the guy you were talking with worked as a head chef at a local restaurant. You say your goodbyes as you place your goods in your basket before turning to find Sakusa staring at the stranger. "Oh, sorry Omi, I lost you back there. I thought you were following me," You say.

"It's...fine- who was that?" He whips his head to look at you.

"Oh, no one, I asked him to help me find some spices for lunch, come on, I have to get a couple more things then we can leave okay? I know you don't like going out as much," You say.

Was he jealous? He was lost in thought as his eyes followed where the stranger left off. He denies that he ever felt that way yet he didn't notice you tugging on his sleeve."Omi?" You ask.

"Hm," He hums through his mask. He looks down at you, his chest pressed against your back.

"You seem like a puppy clinging onto its mom, you're never this close to me in public. Is something wrong?" You chuckle looking up at him. He takes a step back and tries to look away. You smile up at him before picking your final ingredients.

"Sorry Y/n, just..." You pat his side lightly before heading over to the cashier. He sighs before trailing behind you.

The entire lunch date it seemed like he was quieter than normal, uncomfortable to talk to you even. While you two shifted into watching a movie, he held your hand tighter than usual as you snuggled beside him. It was foreign to be this close to Sakusa, but you didn't mind the comfort being held in his arms. So much so, that soon after you found yourself slowly drifting off to sleep engulfed in his warmth.

Sakusa looked down at your now sleeping figure, his cheeks burning red, as he lowered the volume of the movie. How did he end up in this situation? Though he did like you having you beside him, he was thinking to himself. Why was he so clingy to you? Was it jealousy? It couldn't be, you technically weren't his significant other.

The next day, the two of you didn't talk about you falling asleep beside him. It was the first time he had let you gotten so close to him. Besides the point, tonight was the MSBY dinner at a night bar and restaurant rented out to the entire team. You joined the team and their respective invites to the tables as everyone greeted one another at the tables.

You sat beside Sakusa and across from Atsumu with his brother beside him. You smiled at the twins before turning to look down at the menu. "So how do you know Sakusa?" Atsumu asks.

"Oh, we're childhood friends, we were neighbors as up until we graduated. We reconnected recently when I moved back for college," You explained.

"So yer not...dating?" Atsumu raised his eyebrow. Osamu nudged his leg against his brother's but you paused to respond.

"No, we're not," Sakusa says, seeing you hesitate. You looked away from him, and awkwardly smiled back at Atsumu. "They're just my best friend."

Just a best friend. You couldn't wrap your head around those words. It was true, you were his best friend, but the feelings you had for him stung in your chest. You pinched your thigh to ignore the unsettling feeling in your stomach. You tried to make conversation with the boys, more so with Atsumu. Sakusa raised his eyebrow at this, but never saying a word to you.

When the dinner at the table ended, the team moved to the entertainment bar upstairs. You quietly followed behind Sakusa to where Atsumu and Osamu had gone to play pool. "Do you play?" Osamu asked, you shook your head as you watched Sakusa walk away to go get a drink.

"What's on yer mind? You seem down all of dinner," Osamu says. Atsumu seats himself beside you as his brother takes his turn at the pool table.

"Sakusa...He's..." You trailed. "To me, he's more than just my best friend. But I guess, that's all I'll ever be to him." You sighed.

"Oh he doesn't want to make it official, huh?" Atsumu nudges. You nod.

"He cuddles me, holds my hand- hell, he got jealous yesterday over a dude helping me buy spices, I don't get it. Now, look at him," You gesture. Sakusa sat himself beside Meian and the other players at the bar to drink almost as if he had forgotten about you. "It doesn't make sense. Now I just...Just wanna forget about my dumb feeling and move on."

You let out a sigh as Atsumu pats you on the back. The rest of the night, the twins spent playing while trying to cheer you up. It worked as you found yourself as well as two more players joining in, joyously playing pool and casually drinking.

Sakusa on the other hand, had decided to drink as he never wanted to admit he was jealous. He wanted you. He did, but he didn't want to tell you to stop talking to his teammate. Why didn't he tell Atsumu that you were his significant other? He takes another sip of his dark liquor before glancing behind him to see you and Atsumu leaning against a wall.

You two were smiling, laughing, being the happiest in the room. Why were you smiling so big? Only Sakusa was supposed to make you smile like that. No one else. His eyes watch as you playfully nudged Atsumu and that's what upset him. You weren't falling for him, were you?

Sakusa found himself walking towards the two of you. His cheeks were bright red, his steps were slightly off for his drunk stature. You turn to see the wobbly figure but before you could stop him or say anything to him, Sakusa had his mind set on one thing.

He had stood in front of Atsumu, nearly a step away from him. You feared for your life that Sakusa would hit him but you were frozen. Sakusa takes his hands and slams it against the walls behind Atsumu, encasing the setter in between his arms. You take a moment to pause.

"Who the fuck do you think you are talking to Y/n?" Sakusa mutters. Atsumu could smell the alcohol in his breath.

"Omi-kun it's not what ya think I- I-" Atsumu stuttered.

You couldn't make out what the two were saying but you were concerned. You heard the muttered arguments and you turned to Osamu who was talking to Bokuto. You tugged at his sleeve before showing him what was happening.

"Did- did my brother just get kabedoned by Sakusa-san?" Osamu tilted his head. You nodded and asked what to do. "Break it up. I'm not helping ya."

You approached the two conversing to overhear what they were saying to one another.

"I swear to fucking God- I'll break- I'll break-" Sakusa threatened. "If you were flirting with Y/n."

"I wasn't! I wasn't!" Atsumu pleaded.

"Hey hey! Omi!" You called out, trying to get Sakusa's attention. He glances at you but he turns back to Atsumu. This time his right hand moves closer to Atsumu's body to grab it. You approach the two. "Omi!"

"Omi-kun, we were just talking not flirting I swear! Just ask them!" Atsumu was sweating bullets. He had never been this close to Sakusa nor has ever seen him this infuriated. Sakusa had enough and grabbed Atsumu's shirt.

"Omi! Look at me, not him!" You called out, ran over grabbing Sakusa's wrist off Atsumu. He pulls off the fabric, allowing the setter to stumble away from the wall. "Omi, we weren't flirting. He was just cheering me up."

"Cheering you up? Why?" Sakusa scratches the back of his neck.

"Why? Because of you dumb dumb," You huffed.

"Because of me? Why because of me?" He asked.

"Oh my god," You groaned. You placed your hands on Sakusa's cheeks before pulling him down and placing a sloppy kiss on his lips. His mouth was soft despite what you'd expected. After waiting months, finally pressing your lips against his was a wave of relief. You could taste the bitter liquor leftover on his lips as you pulled away. "Because you...you failed to realized that I'm in love with you and you just abandoned me to hang out with your teammates and their guests. Now..will you hang out with me or are you gonna keep denying your jealousy like yesterday?"

Sakusa looks at you for a second before snaking his hand around your waist. He pulls you in for another kiss, prompting the team to give him a round of applause. His slips his tongue this time, letting you taste more of the alcohol in his system. You pull away, smiling and notice how much he was smiling too. "Sorry for being jealous," He says. He looks up to Atsumu who was now standing beside Osamu. "I may be drunk, but if you- if you flirt with Y/n for real, I'm break your nose Miya."

You giggle as you dragged Sakusa to an empty table by the bar where you'd sober him up. "Do you really mean that?" You say as you bring a glass of water to Sakusa. He leans against you, resting his head on your shoulder as he sips the water. "You'll beat up Atsumu if he flirts with me?"

"I'll beat up anyone. Do you really mean it when you say you love me?" He asks.

"Shhh, you're drunk," You laughed.

"Hey, I'm not that type of drunk, tell me," He persists. You take a beat of silence to answer.

"Indefinitely," You say. Your hand laces with his, thumb rubbing the back of his hand. "I can't see myself falling for anyone else."

"Me neither," He says.

taglist: @amillionfandoms-onlyoneme @just-a-siiimp @d0llpie @elianetsantana @snowsmuse

[miraclekittyandbug]

Ten Questions With A Twist Chapter 4

Here’s the next chapter! We’re now more than halfway through the series now, and WOW this is an eventful chapter. 

I hope you enjoy and don’t forget to give me a follow and let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future chapters!

~ Chapter 1 ~ Chapter 2 ~ Chapter 3 ~ This Chapter ~ Chapter 5 ~ Chapter 6 ~ Chapter 7 ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night was cool, simply a perfect patrol night. Ladybug had gotten to their spot on the Eiffel Tower first, leaving Chat to find her looking very frustrated. 

“What's wrong, Bug? Didn’t get a chance to ask any of those questions today?”

She huffed. “Well I managed to get one answer, but I need to figure out a better way to go about this. The way it was asked today isn’t gonna work for the whole list.”

Chat was startled. Had she overheard Alya ask her the vacation question? He took his seat next to Ladybug. “You could get a friend to help you out.”

Ladybug looked surprised, but quickly covered it up. “Yeah? And what would I tell this friend? ‘Oh yeah, my crime fighting partner thinks that he knows the answers to these questions that I have to ask this boy I like’? No chance. I’ll have to find a different approach.”

“Asking questions shouldn’t be too hard. They’re also pretty easy getting-to-know-you questions. If you know him well enough, he shouldn’t find it too difficult to believe you want to get to know him better.”

Ladybug’s face lit up with a revelation. “I’ve got it! Thanks, Chat. I’ll have all the answers soon enough. And that means you’ll finally have to admit that puns are terrible.”

“Alas, my lady, the only thing you’ll be winning is a date with me! I can just see it now: You, me, a high-up rooftop, and a romantic meal prepared by some of the finest cooks in the city.”

“We’ll see about that, kitty. For now, though, the rooftops of Paris are calling our names. Shall we?”

“After you, my lady.”

The roofs and balconies of the city felt the footprints of two heros, but Chat could only pray that soon enough, he would be sharing a date with the love of his life- out of the masks they wore. 

Despite the confidence he showed his lady as Chat Noir, Adrien only became more and more unsure of himself as the night progressed into the next day. And so, Adrien went to school without the usual pep in his step. He could practically feel his lady getting further and further away from him, all the while she was growing closer and closer to the person she actually loved. He felt like a fool. He had let a single coincidence go to his head and went on assuming that he could be the person his lady adores. He went and gave Ladybug questions that were designed to make her fall more in love with him, he just hadn’t considered that it wouldn’t be Adrien she was falling in love with.

He managed to meander his way through the first half of his classes, only half paying attention. At some point he vaguely remembered agreeing to have lunch with Nino, who had agreed to have lunch with his girlfriend, who was invited by Marinette.  Lunch continued to bore him, only bringing his thoughts of his lady and another man closer to the front of his mind. It wasn’t until about twenty minutes into their meal that Marinette finally said something that interested him.

“Hey, guys, I found this cool questionnaire, you wanna answer it with me?” Affirmations came from everybody at the table, including a casual shrug from Adrien. Definitely not the questions I want to hear. But anything to keep my mind away from the obvious.

“Alright,” She started, sitting up straighter and clearing her throat, “If you were stuck on an abandoned island, what three things would you bring?”

Adrien’s heart stopped. That was his question. One of them anyway. And for the second time this week, he started to try to talk himself out of being excited. Because those questions that he had given Ladybug, they were pretty basic questions. Questions that would be found in a million other places for much the same reason. But everybody was staring at him and he suddenly feared that he had thought all of those thoughts out loud. 

“What about you, Adrien?” Marinette asked, looking concerned that her friend had zoned out so quickly.

“Easy. You three. Who would want to go it alone?” His answer was honest, for the most part. In reality, he would never be able to choose just three people. While his friend group meant the world to him, he would be lost without his Ladybug. 

Marinette put her hand over her heart and sighed, but Alya quickly cleared things up, “You would just want us there so we can show you how to build a tent.”

They all chuckled and Marinette continued, “What’s your favorite animal?”

“Fox!” Alya said, though Marinette didn’t seem too surprised.

Nino chimed in, saying he liked monkeys a lot growing up, but he much preferred turtles now. 

“Cats,” Adrien heard himself respond, but his mind was elsewhere. Suddenly, he wished he had paid more attention in math class. If I were asked three questions over the last two days, what’s the probability that all three would match up with three of the ten questions I gave ladybug? Three doesn’t go into ten evenly, and should I take into account the trains leaving opposite sides of town travelling at different speeds somewhere in America?

“Okay,” Marinette said, keeping one eye on Adrien, “And if you could have any pet in the world?”

“Well that’s just the same question twice,” Alya pointed out.

“Not really,” Nino interjected, “I’d rather have a dog than a turtle. Dogs travel better.”

Adrien had to hold onto the table, for fear of falling out of his chair. “I’d definitely get a pet cat. A black one. I’d name it The Plague.”

“That’s a sick name, dude,” Nino approved, “What about you, Marinette?”

“Hamster. But I wouldn’t mind a black cat for myself.” She paused, but when it didn’t seem that anybody else would add anything, she continued questioning. “What is your biggest fear?”

Adrien mumbled, “This. Right here, right now, these specific questions, in this exact scenario.” 

“What was that, dude?” Nino asked. 

Adrien just looked at him with a hollow look in his eyes, “I, uh, I said my worst fear is working for my father for the rest of my life.” 

Marinette could barely be heard, “That’s… heartbreaking, Adrien.” The others just watched as Adrien tried to lighten the subject.

“Nah, that’s just my worst fear. It’s not what’s gonna happen.” He managed to focus on making eye contact with Marinette, “There’s nothing on that list about dream jobs, is there?” He hoped aloud.

“Actually, there is! What is your dream-”

“And THAT’S where I’m calling it in,” Adrien mumbled, his eyes bulged out of their sockets and he took a deep breath that filled his cheeks. He stood and started to walk away. “Alright, guys, I’m not feeling well, I need to leave. Right now. Immediately. Thank you. Goodbye.”

He was halfway across the courtyard in under thirty seconds. He ducked into a doorway and opened his shirt so he could see Plagg in his pocket, who was laughing incessantly.

“I don’t see what’s so funny, Plagg!”

“I do!” his Kwamii stated, “I think you found your girl!”

“Who, Marinette? No she can’t be Ladybug.”

Plagg’s face fell. “Why not?”

“Marinette is just a friend.” Plagg paused for a split second to stare at his chosen, then started laughing even harder. Adrien was about to tell him to quiet down when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He closed his shirt and whirled around, surprised, but not too surprised to see that Marinette had followed him. 

“Hey, Marinette!” Adrien put on his best “everything is fine” face, but even he could tell he wasn’t pulling it off. 

“Hey, Adrien. Are you okay? Over the course of, like, one minute your face lost all of its color.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he responded, “I just don’t feel well all of a sudden.”

Marinette made a face of understanding, but eventually spoke, “Are all these questions rubbing you the wrong way?”

Adrien was in shock. Not just from the questions, but from the company in which he answered them and the honest concern he felt from Marinette. Shit, maybe he did like Marinette as more than a friend. That thought alone freaked him out. How could he love two people at the same time? He didn’t think he was polyamorous, and thinking on that further, he was certain he wasn’t. He didn’t want two girlfriends, he just wanted one. Whether it was Marinette or Ladybug that he wanted, well that was too much to think about.

Before he could consider how to respond, Marinette interrupted his thoughts.

“Yeah, I just, my friend and I made this bet. This friend thinks they know all your answers to these questions-,”

Adrien was sure there was an end to that sentence, but he didn’t hear it.

Suddenly everything made sense. Her obsession with akumas. Always disappearing around the same time he did. The similar times of their arrivals to the site of the akumas. It could only be one person.

“Alya,” he said, breathless. 

“What?”

Adrien responded, “What?” He mentally slapped himself. Of course it wasn’t Alya. Jeez, she had been akumatized! She had been used as bait for an akuma. Adrien must have been losing his mind. But even though he guessed wrong, he was on the right track. Whoever Marinette’s friend was, had to be Ladybug!

I guess it isn’t true that opposites attract, he thought, those two are so similar.

“So who is it?”

Marinette seemed confused, “Who is Alya?”

“No!” he corrected, “Who’s this friend? The one with all the answers.” 

“Oh,” Marinette panicked. She didn’t seem prepared to answer this question, which only solidified Adrien’s belief that this friend was his Lady. “I actually don’t know his name.”

Adrien blinked through his confusion. That was odd. He and Ladybug had talked about this before. Ladybug was born a woman. She identified as a woman, as well. So was Marinette trying to protect Ladybug’s identity? Pretending that her friend was a man? Smart, he guessed, just very confusing.

Marinette seemed to notice that he hadn’t responded, so she continued, “Yeah, we’re actually…. Internet friends! Yeah, we’re friends on an internet. The internet. An internet site. Yeah. We go by screennames, that’s all.” Adrien found that explanation to be a little too convenient. 

“Oh yeah? And what do you call this… boy?”

Her face drained of color, but she choked out her reply, “Black cat.”

A moment of silence later, Adrien replied. “What?”

“You know, that’s the, um, American, er English, for Chat Noir. He’s English. Well, he speaks English, he is… American.”

No… Adrien thought, But that would mean… no way!

“What’s the bet?” he asked, surprised at how sure he was.

“Oh, that? He thinks he knows all your answers to these questions. And if he wins,” she quickly added, “which he won’t! If he wins then I have to go on a date with him.”

Adrien couldn’t seem to think properly, but he was slowly realizing that his ‘liking two girls at the same time’ problem might not be much of an issue. “A date. Him and you? You specifically?”

“Yeah,” Marinette shrugged, “It’s just a stupid bet, but he seems really certain that he’ll win.”

“Well, if he does win,” Adrien sighed, letting his shoulders drop and his eyes glass over, “Then he is one lucky guy.”

Marinette stared at him. Adrien enjoyed their first bit of real eye contact. Normally looking somebody in the eyes was nerve-racking, but when those eyes were that specific shade of blue? He noticed how comforting they were. He realized maybe why. 

Because those eyes weren’t just the blue of his friend who sat behind him and always had his back in his everyday life. They were also the blue that had his back in combat. That sat with him all night long when he didn’t know which way was up. That made him laugh under the stars when he couldn’t find the humor in life anymore. All of the times he came home to a cold house with no family, he felt lonely despite his friends at school. And on those days, blue eyes, the same ones that were in front of him right now, sat with him on a ledge of the Eiffel Tower and talked with him until he felt whole again.

Marinette’s face went pinker than pink instantly. Adrien enjoyed seeing Ladybug like this. Not just with a blushing face, though he liked that too. He liked seeing Ladybug whole. All of her. Without the masks, she could actually be herself, all of herself with him. 

They stood there, both speechless, for what felt like an eternity. And then… the bell rang. Signaling the end of their lunch period. Adrien just chuckled, but his crime-fighting partner was still frozen. Alya walked up to the pair and Adrien just shrugged. Alya took Marinette’s shoulder and ushered her away. Nino did the same with Adrien, but he couldn’t pay much attention to the conversation his friend was trying to start. 

His world had just changed.

~~~~~~~~~~~

There ya go! Only three chapters left and next chapter is one for the history books! Stay tuned!

~ Chapter 1 ~ Chapter 2 ~ Chapter 3 ~ This Chapter ~ Chapter 5 ~ Chapter 6 ~ Chapter 7 ~

[monkey-network]

My Issues with Butch Hartman

Call this the sequel to my post on Mr. Enter. But honestly compared to Enter, Butch Hartman has made himself look far worse in so little time. Not only with how he uses his influence, but he basically showed his true colors not long after he left Nickelodeon. With Enter, the worst you can say about him is his opinions on media and his politics. With Hartman, there is a surprisingly lot more under his belt that made the hate towards him .

To preface this, while I’m gonna shit on this dude, I’m not shaming anyone who still likes his past content. With that said, bibbity Boppity boopity. Let’s look at the fucking scoopity.

The Telltale Oaxis

This really takes the cake as the scummiest thing Butch has done. Words and opinions can be one thing, but using your platform to basically trick some people out of their money for a project you abandoned for the most part grinds me gears a lot more. As bad as his marketing strategy was, at least Enter provided effort in his indiegogo project beforehand for god’s sake. Oaxis is one of the most pitiable crowdfunded projects I’ve seen.

It’s nearly two years since Butch got Oaxis funded and what have gotten beyond pure dead silence. Nearly two years and little to no significant updates for Oaxis’s Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, his Youtube, or the site’s official account. No wait, that last part’s kind of a lie. They had monthly updates on the official site up until September 2019. Could’ve posted this on their social medias but you take what you can get. 

The major takeaway from the updates, in all fairness, was that the kickstarter wasn’t enough and they still need to raise more funds for the service. The “capital-building” stage he calls it where he’s looking for more investors in addition to getting actual programs onto the service. That and Oaxis is a big vision for Butch and his wife in spite of not only giving up the monthly updates and basically secluding any mention of Oaxis from any place else. That’s basically it and I legit feel sorry for everyone that couldn’t get their refund back.

This isn’t HBO Max or Disney+ where you just expect them to have something together after their initial announcement because they’re already media conglomerates, this is an independent project. One that people, your fans included Butch, put over 200K thinking you would at least give people something. But beyond a “sizzle reel” that said nothing aside from Oaxis going to be a thing, you have presented jack after two years. I don’t expect the ins and outs of every business meeting with executives, but staying silent about everything except for monthly newsletters that offer very little encouraging progress and hasn’t updated since September of last year is not a good sign. And I’m especially hard on this topic, Butch, because this is the biggest point where it is seriously hard to trust you. It’s not criticizing your ego when after having too many cracks in your story, you really haven’t put your money where your mouth is.

I don’t wanna presume the guy’s given up on it, hoping everybody would forget it after a while, but he’s really put the effort in to make Oaxis feel like a afterthought. I’m not an expert in business, but even I can believe that after his non-apology for not being upfront with his initial intentions, that he’d try to provide updates on the project to not come off as the scam artist people have accused him as. Even with his Youtube channel that I’ll get to later, I don’t think it’s hard consistently posting about your so called vision if you have that much faith in its success. You’ve already gotten thousands of bucks initially with the crowdfund, people deserve more than your pitiful wishful platitudes and I unfortunately can’t believe you’ll have anything after a few years. It’s not that everyone forgot about it, but you mostly took the money and ran. If Butch pops up with something if he sees this somehow, I’ll eat that crow, but I sincerely doubt it after this long. Like at least post something on the Twitter, I get depressed just looking at it; that account is the textbook definition of famine.

The Childhood Reposter

I’ve brought up Butch’s youtube channel a couple times, and it’s when every time I look at it, it’s a little sad. When it comes to major creators, I typically think that after finishing their projects they’d move to newer things. People like Lauren Faust, Mike Judge, CH Greenblatt are all continuing to make new works under differing studios while new creators are getting the spotlight. Butch though? I mean, he has a new cartoon that I swear you’ve never heard about but other than that, the dude looks like he has little to say for himself nowadays beyond the 2 shows he’s famous for, Fairly Odd Parents and Danny Phantom. I would’ve added TUFF Puppy and Bunsen is a Beast but I can see that those two aren’t his major players seeing as how they’re rarely ever mentioned on the channel.

If it’s not some watchmojo level meme video, almost every other video is about either two of those shows in some varied fashion. I get that he “created your childhood” and made credulous bank from Nickelodeon, but it’s like Danny Phantom is all that stands between him and having an audience. That and drawing anime characters in his style which is... y’know, I’ll leave that to you. It’s like he retired and yet goes on about the good old days like a fluctuating ego. He’s still making a cartoon but to him that’s hardly a factor compared to his known successes.

Personally, I wouldn’t want to just be known as the guy who made two of your countless beloved cartoons. Not that that’s all he talks about, but it’s the insistence of his legacy that unfortunately gives me Bojack Horseman vibes. He no doubt has a good thing going but I believe that this isn’t gonna last. Just saying, dude has 850K subscribers and unless it’s a real hook like with the recent Danny Phantom/Jake Long death battle, he’s hardly getting a good fraction of views anymore. There’s only so many times you can milk Danny Phantom as your masterpiece before everyone moves on.

The Holy Boast

I wanna make this short because I’m not a huge talker of religion, but I stand to say that you should NOT, under any circumstance, believe BPD, PTSD, autism, fucking heart & kidney failure can be “cured” or “healed” through sermons of prayer. This here? This is genuinely something else.

https://www.healingjourneys.today/

For clarity, this was a gospel conference hosted by Butch and his wife and yes, they openly proclaim that BPD, austism, and heart disease can be cured through prayer of holy worship.

Now, I’m gonna give a full disclosure right here because this most certainly biases my point here, like I’m gonna own this. But my grandpa was a religious man that suffer from health problems. He notably prayed to carry on, yes, but at the same time he sought medical help. Even he told me that prayers wasn’t gonna keep the pacemaker going, he went to the doctors and actually did more than read the bible to improve himself. He unfortunately passed, but he was in his 70s and I honestly couldn’t believe, as hard as I try, that he was gonna live forever. My grandpa would’ve no doubt died far earlier if he followed this conference’s logic.

My point is that this is personally unsettling. I seriously cannot believe this is how autism and religion works and it blows my mind that him and his wife thought this conference was a suitable idea. I’m not bashing them as christians, but thinking mental disorders and bodily diseases can be done away with motivational seminars because that’s basically what they are is a legit slap to the face. And the seedling idea that they’ve done this before blows my mind.

The Financial Flaker

This is very recent and everything is generally explained in the 12 minute video but long story short: Butch hired an artist and never paid them for their work. The artist in question, Kuro, describes what happened between him and Butch in this video and provides receipts. Can’t really add anything to this myself beyond this just builds to the idea that Butch cannot be trusted as a professional business maker. I believe he still has people working for him but from this video, it tells me that Hartman will gladly use those lower than him in favorable pursuits and will gladly throw ignorance when he wants to because his cartoon veteran status presents that shield from thinking he can do no wrong, which can mean throttling his hires.  Let’s end this.

The Conclusion

When I get down to it, Butch is almost a Machiavellian character in a way. It’s amazing how much the trust people have had with Hartman have evaporated in less than a couple years. It’s amazing how much his ego has truly shown after he stopped being a namestay in Nickelodeon. Haven’t even mentioned the times he arrogantly deflected criticism because he was a namestay at Nick and how a couple who’ve worked with are well aware of his ego. I can’t help but believe that even after everything, he claims ignorance to his fall from grace and keeps going. Even when more and more are knowing his true self, he’s mostly just doing what he’s been doing for the past few years.

It’s respectable in a way, but shows that the world will move on without him. Again, if you like Danny Phantom and Fairly OddParents, I won’t judge you for it nor say you should be ashamed. This isn’t about cancelling Butch, or get him to stop spreading whatever wacky things he believes in. It’s my personal take of how this man whom I once respected because of what he made before has lost every bit of that from me. It really feels like he grew up with that “I Created Your Childhood” mentality being a 4 time showrunner for almost a couple decades. And when he finally left Nickelodeon, I guess the chance to be that stand out self-made success got to his head and he finally showed his true colors. I now find it hard to believe Butch cares about the little guy that were his fans as much as he rides off his success and others who tolerate him. As such, like JK Rowling, more are seeing this side of him and leaving him behind. Meanwhile Butch is gonna chug on until he just loses steam. It’s kinda like Icarus where the guy will make every effort to fly to the sun. But sooner or later, he’s gonna fall, and in the end I doubt anyone’s gonna care to see it. I know he won’t.

[littlebird-99]

Hate Being A Legacy

Summary: She is a hunter in a family as notorious as the Winchesters- John and her dad even worked together sometimes. She saves Dean and Sam’s asses on a case and they go to her big mansion to rest. Her house has everything a hunter could need: cars, weapons, a training room, an information room where all the hunters in the states can communicate for information or help. Dean starts to fall for her. She is younger than Sam.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: language

The Y/L/N family, the worlds most notorious hunters. Hunter's would call if them if lure didn't match up, or if the monster they were hunting didn't seem right.

That wasn't the same with Y/n, their youngest. She hated her family, she was considered the black sheep, she was the only girl in the family and with the Y/L/N's, women are not hunters. She broke that one cardinal rule and became a hunter shortly after her cousin Jenny was murdered by a werewolf.

But, with the Y/L/N family, came responsibilities, you'd help other hunters, or you were the best.

So she was currently watching an abandoned house, waiting for the leader to show. She sat humming along to her music, groaning as it was slowly hitting 4 in the morning.

That was until she spotted a car, she shakes her head, "fucking christ" she groans, she noticed that car. Fuck, every hunter noticed that car when it drove past them. "Fucking Winchesters…"

She was currently working a case in Omaha, Nebraska. Vampires from the looks of it, maybe about 10-15 heads. She hated working on vamps alone. But her family never sent anyone to help.

She exited her car, walking toward the house. Watching the boys exit the car before they head in.

Dean's POV

"This hunts gonna be easy, I mean, only a few vamps, we'll be done and heading for the bar quicker than you reading a book Sammy" he grinned. Sam rolled his eyes, his machete raised as they entered the house.

As soon as they stepped in both boys froze, "dammit" he muttered, there was more than they thought there'd be. He noticed one sneaking up behind Sam, going to warn him. Until everything around him went black.

A groan erupts past his lips, his eyes slowly opening.

"Sammy?" His voice croaked.

"I'm here Dean" his brother's voice sounds off, making his heart kind of calm down.

He looked around, trying to find anything close to undo his wrists. That was until he heard the sounds of fighting erupting around him.

He shakes his head, looking around for someone to show their face. He was not expected a woman to appear from behind the wall.

Her Y/h/c was tied up into a pony and he didn't know how to feel about her saving him, considering how hot she looked.

He shakes his head, "come on, you need our help killing--" Her laugh made his heart stop, and he watches her closely.

"I killed the vamps doll," she says, "just to save you cute brothers" she spoke, her voice music to his ears. 'Dammit Dean, knock it off' he thought to himself, 'she's a random woman, and a hunter, you don't fuck with that' he growls.

She quickly untied them both, before handing them their machetes and begins walking back out the door. What he didn't account for was his brother chasing after her, "Sammy!" He runs after him.

He follows behind them as Sam talks with her, he didn't even know her name, but God damn her ass looked good in those jeans. His eyes traveled her body as she walked, it almost seemed like she was putting effort into the sway of her hips.

He stopped watching her ass as she stopped walking and quickly looked up, "Dean? You alright?' His brother asked. He looked up, shrugging, "nothing," he says quickly.

Sam laughs, rolling his eyes, "alright, well Y/N was just inviting us back to her place, do you wanna go?' He asked his brother.

Dean shrugged, "sure, we'll follow you," he says, smiling at her, Y/N, finally knew her name, he'd have to do some research on her, figure out who exactly she was.

She had started walking away again, and he turned to get into his car until he stopped to see what car she was driving. It was a beautiful, old 1967 Chevy Camaro, black just like his baby before he moves and gets in the car.

"Dude, you're so done" Sam laughs, once he was in the car. He glared at him, "I'm not done, so fuck off.." He growls, he starts the car and starts following Y/N's car down the road.

After a few hours of driving, they approach a gate, making the boys look at each other.

"there's no way…" Sam spoke first, breaking the silence that had started when they pulled up. Sam quickly pulled his phone out, deciding to look Y/N up.

"Dude… she's a Y/L/N…" he says, looking at Dean with his eyes wide, "the best hunters known to well… everyone" he says lightly.

Dean shakes his head, "no fucking way…" he says. He parks the car and gets out, looking at the house, before looking at her, 'damn woman. Stealing my heart and shit, fuck' he thinks as he walks up to her, "so, you're a Y/L/N?" He asked.

She frowns, not what he was expecting, but she did, "I am.." She says softly, "I'm the best hunter in the family, but can we please not? I hate that that's the only reason I'm known for" she says.

He nods, watching her, she was good. Good hunter, beautiful body, hair, fuck her eyes, her beautiful Y/E/C. He shakes his head quickly and follows her inside. Sam smirks watching Dean, "dude, you totally like her" he laughs.

Dean glares, shaking his head and moves, "so, you live here by yourself?" He asked, following her around. She nods, "usually I'm just driving around and hunting, looking for cases" she states.

She shows them around, telling them.about each of the rooms. Dean could tell she hated her family, she didn't want to be a legacy, not that she was like Men Of Letters legacy, but the Y/L/N had quite the legacy to uphold.

Y/n POV

She showed the guys the rooms they were staying in then went to her room, she shakes her head as she stops in front of a painting. It had her whole family, well, minus her. To any and all outsiders, it was almost like she was adopted, which she wasn't, not by any means was she adopted.

Standing in the bathroom, she strips her clothes, deciding she was definitely going to throw them out because she hated how much vamps bleed, and didn't want that.

She looked in the mirror, years of hunting had taken its toll on her body, she was attractive yes, but she had scar after scar the riddled her body, she had a little bit of a stomach, from fast food because who didn't, and she had thighs, she loved her thighs, the stretch marks that came with them too. She didn't care what others thought, especially her family.

She pulled her hair out and climbs into the shower. Turning it on, she let the waterfall down her back as she closes her eyes, taking a deep breath, "another hunt done. Soon I'll be on the road, and won't be here.." she whispered.

After throwing on some different clothes, she walked downstairs and started looking for something to make for dinner, she was here, she might as well make a home-cooked meal.

"So.. I.. well" she turns, looking at Dean, a smile on her face as she noticed he had a hard time getting his words out.

"Cat got your tongue, Winchester?" She teased, throwing her head back as he glared, crossing his arms. He shakes his head, "what're you making for dinner? Was what I was gonna ask ya doll" he smirked

She only nodded, rolling her eyes, "uh huh.. sure you were, doll" she smirks. "And I'm making spaghetti and garlic bread" she smiled.

He nods, watching her cook as he leaned against the counter, his eyes scanned over her body, she had on leggings, but they were like capris, and a tank top, showed off her curves and he just wanted to-

"Dean, earth to Dean" his eyes shot up, glaring at Sam who had just walked in and caught Dean staring, making him laugh as he sits down. "I was just saying, maybe Y/n could join us" he suggests.

Dean looked up, watching Y/n reaction, biting my his lip.

She shrugged, "I don't. I don't know guys, I usually hunt alone, and I don't want to bug you' she says.

"You won't," Dean says a little too quickly, "I mean.. It'd be nice to have someone else to take to besides boring sasquatch here" he jokes.

She shrugs, "I'll think about it. But I will let you both have my number, in case I say no, but I'll still help you boys out" she smiled.

They had enjoyed dinner, talking about different hunts and what's been going on in the world of the Y/l/n's and the Winchesters.

A few months later.

Y/n, of course, didn't go with the body, she couldn't bring herself to do it, but, she still talked to them. The oldest Winchester more than the youngest one, they had talked, and texted, even randomly met up for a beer and a bite to eat. And he'd never admit it to anyone, but he was falling for the huntress.

He never knew what it felt like to actually love someone, other than his brother, but he knew he had fallen deep, when he got a call from Jody, saying a hunter had gone missing from her vehicle, what broke him, was Y/n hadn't texted him for the past week.

Tags:

@maddiepants @donnaintx @gipsyjucar

[everyman0]

WALLS TO BREAK US

so i know i dropped all communication for the past several months...and evans fucking journal might have you believe i sat on my ass the entire time but that isnt the case. I didnt intend on sharing this information, frankly. but my time is running out now, evans already gone. this account of events will be all i have left.

i cant leave this place. i dont even know where the fuck i am supposed to be to begin with.

there is a house. a neighborhood. stores. a town. but nothing has a name.

there are people, but despite the gift of sight i was given, i see nothing of them. like empty thoughts given a shell to walk around in.

i thought at first, a couple months ago when i was first allowed to walk outside again, that they were real and that i was simply too overwhelmed with shock to really notice what was wrong here. but now i see it. i see it because there is nothing to see. these people aren't people at all, more like ghosts. 

at least im not entirely alone. there's still the house and asterion.

ive walked to the store many times, even got assaulted in the parking lot. Was that guy a ghost too? I dont know. but i havent only gone to the store - ive walked around the entire town. know what i finally realized, several days after i had made that exploratory journey?

there are no cars here. none being sold, none being driven, absolutely fucking nothing. no bikes either. no skates, no skateboards, no heelies wheelies or fucking feelies. not a single mode of transportation of any kind.

theres a bus stop though! thank fuck for that! oh wait, it's fucking useless. i have not once seen a bus in this god forsaken place.

imagine the anguish i felt upon realizing that despite being able to steal groceries just fine, i cant even hope to steal a car to drive as far away as i can from this hellhole. but it doesnt stop there.

of course it doesnt.

so alright, no cars. but i still had my legs, right? (and still do, somehow.)

so i figured if i cant drive away, i could at least saunter the fuck out of this place and maybe determine some sense of location on planet fucking earth. i set out. i walked in one direction from the house to the town and onward. and onward. and onward. for five fucking hours.

i found nothing.

but it wasnt your average nothingness like that of a long rural road, as it had originally appeared to me. no...instead, i eventually encountered what i call the Edge. here, the road stutters into an impossible blackness. here, if you turn your head, you can see how the blackness runs parallel to the world around you, bordering everything for miles. real truman show type shit.

the real kicker is when i discovered that only i can see it.

like any good scientist, i did some experimenting. kicked some cans, threw some rocks, all hurtling in the direction of the black wall. to my surprise, the items phased through it. swallowed might be a better word. i couldnt see or hear if the objects landed on the other side, if there was even a side to land on beyond the boundaries of ink. so then i decided i needed an extra set of eyes, and brought evan along a few days later.

this is the first and last time i let him outside in my care, and for good reason.

we arrived at the Edge, and evan was immediately annoyed at me as i had stopped walking just a few feet before the black wall. i asked him to explain what the problem was. he was like, "dude, you told me there was some shit i had to see and we have been walking forever. where the fuck is it? is this it? because it looks like a whole lot of fucking nothing."

i then asked, "what does this nothing look like to you?"

evan was growing more confused and angry, but i didnt want him to know what i did until i knew what he did first. i didnt want to contaminate his perception by revealing my own. i needed to be thorough and absolutely sure of our experience.

he threw his arms in the air in frustration, "a road, vin. it looks like a road, the same fuckin' cracked asphalt we've been following for miles. forwards and backwards, road."

evan took a step forward, into the blackness. i saw the tip of his foot disappear, sliced by the unfathomable wall. evan didnt seem to notice anything different, standing there with his arms crossed. so then i knew at least one thing for certain: only i could see the wall.

however, until seeing evan's foot just barely phasing through the wall, it hadnt occurred to me if i could pass through it too...or at least touch it. before, when i had been throwing cans and such, i didnt dare get too close to the black edge. i had no idea what would happen, and wasnt particularly interested in finding out at the time. all i could gather was that, just like the rest of the town and even the house herself, it was designed to keep things inside.

as it turns out, evan was not one of those things intended to stay. i stood there pondering silently, and watched as evan began an impatient pacing along the length of the wall. an imperfect, wobbly hobble across the street and back; i saw arms and legs flash in and out of the blackness as evan walked, still taking no notice. evan couldnt see the difference like i could, and he wasnt the prisoner these walls were meant to encase. so who was?

well obviously it's me. at least, i'm somehow a part of the equation i think. and then i figured now was no better a time as any for me to make my approach and reach out - touch the wall, see what happens, inwardly hope it just kills me on the spot, and so on.

but right as i had decided this, i hear evan angrily spitting an expletive and turn, marching off beyond the pitch black walls. guess he was tired of waiting on me, and you know ev - always runs in head first. i word this story now as if this is something i remember fondly about evan, but let me be clear: in that moment of time, standing in the middle of some fucking road behind a maliciously black prison wall, a wall of which evan was now beyond and impossible for me to see any longer? leaving me, alone?

i fucking hate how much of a hardheaded ass evan is sometimes.

i was so caught off guard by evan's sudden disappearance beyond the veil of the Edge that what that meant didn't register until several seconds later when i found myself clamoring towards the wall. i yelled for evan, then screamed for him. my hands meet the black surface with a loud plang as if the wall was made of glass, but the way the wall felt against my skin is indescribable. i wailed my fists against the presumed surface, the noise of the impacts reverberating loudly. this lasted a few minutes.

evan eventually came back...and he seemed just as he were before, except maybe even more annoyed as he began to once again pester me on why i was just standing there wasting time. he got his first round of bitching out before he noticed that i had tears running down my face, looking disheveled.

he changed his tune and asked me what was wrong, what the fuck happened. his confusion was telling - he hadnt heard me screaming for him to come back. i wiped my eyes, faked a chuckle, and told him it was nothing to worry about and that maybe it was best to go home for now and try some other time when im more 'in the present.'

i decided that i wasnt going to tell evan about the Edge, at least not right then. i needed time to gather myself back together, since the resulting panic attack had taken a lot out of me for one day. But even after i had taken that time...

i didnt want evan to know about the wall. fuck, i know its selfish, but i didnt want evan to know that he had the ability to leave this wretched fuckhole but i didnt, that i was trapped and he wasnt. its not because i wanted to spare evan the heartbreak of knowing his friend was doomed...but because i didnt want evan to get the idea that he could abandon me without consequence.

i didnt want evan to use this knowledge as an escape plan to get away from me.

not wanting evan to leave me wasnt the only reason i didnt tell him though. there was still so much i was uncertain about; hell, i still wasnt sure if just being outside the house put evan at risk. i took a chance in taking him to the wall and he lasted well enough during that time...but given what was discovered, even if evan could sit out on the lawn every day and not a thing touch him...the very existence of the wall was a dangerous game of chance.

this is why i did not want evan to go back outside again after this incident. i couldnt trust that he would truly be safe...and i couldnt trust that he wouldn't just run away on me. i completely fucked myself in both ways, though. he's out there getting hurt or dying or already dead because i pushed him far enough to truly fucking hate me.

even now, ive no idea what happened to evan after he ran out of the house. Maybe he never made it past the wall again.

maybe this post is the first time he’s hearing about it.*

*IT IS, YOU SMART BOY. I COULDN’T JUST KILL HIM BEFORE YOU EXPOSED YOURSELF AS A HIDEOUS EXCUSE OF A FRIEND. THE PAIN WILL ADD FLAVOR! MAYBE I’LL GIVE YOU A TASTE.

>>

[dearericbittle]

Fit hot guys have problems too (don’t objectify us with your male and female gaze)

(Also on AO3)

To Cora, 1:24 AM: im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??

After rejecting indecent proposal #17 of the night, he is ready to drown his frustrations in a bottle of tequila. Even though he doesn’t exactly have the best relationship with tequila after that one time in New York.

Complaining to his baby sister about how all the men at Jungle just wanted to fuck was a real low point. But it isn’t like he has any actual friends that he could commiserate with - because that is the actual rock bottom reality of his life.

He’s only just returned to California after years of living on the East Coast, and his resting bitch face (complete with Murder Brows) and complete inability to talk to people has made it impossible to make friends. That and he doesn’t like most people - and people seem to be determined to prove him right on that account.

“Fuck, you’re hot,” another random stranger makes an approach.

“No,” he growls, making the guy take a couple steps back.

Derek doesn’t even bother looking at the guy, because if that was his opening line… He is just going to be another superficial asshole who doesn’t care about anything but Derek’s looks. And Derek has at least some standards, even when he is on his way to getting a good buzz going. (Which he will be, soon, hopefully. He’s too sober for this shit.)

He is just about to get the bartender’s attention, because he really needs a damn drink after #18, when he is rudely interrupted yet again.

“That’s cold, dude,” another voice sounds, this time from his left. “You didn’t even look at that one. Efficient, though.”

Rolling his eyes at the nickname, Derek turns to see the guy who’s deigned to comment on his rejection protocol. And he stops in his tracks, because well…

The guy is a mess. There’s glow in the dark lipstick prints on his face (several of them matching the drag queens up on stage), a rip in his t-shirt that’s close to exposing a nipple, and his eyes are alert even though the bags under his eyes speak of serious sleep deprivation.

He’s the most interesting person Derek’s met in ages.

“Don’t call me dude.”

And he’s fucked it up in about five seconds, as is his wont.

“This is going to sound like a line, so bear with me,” the guy grins, briefly drawing Derek’s attention to his mouth. “But you have to give me your name for me to stop calling you dude.”

Mr. Interesting is right - it does sound like a line. So Derek just gives him an unimpressed look before trying to get the bartender’s attention.

“Fine, I’ll go first,” the stranger takes another sip of his ridiculous cocktail, practically molesting the straw. “I’m Stiles.”

What the hell is a Stiles? That is a terrible name, but he’s probably heard worse in New York, because Brooklyn is hipster central these days.

He nods. “Derek.”

Mentally starting a timer for how long it takes Stiles to start commenting about how he’ll be screaming that name later, he stares down at his water bottle. Fuck, he still hates tequila - does he really want do that to himself?

Maybe he should ask the bartender for something else, when he finally gets the guy’s attention.

“Good, now I won’t have to call you dude, dude,” Stiles smirks, and it’s infuriating.

Derek rolls his eyes, determined not to enjoy that terrible joke. He knows that this is probably the end of it, and Stiles will either hit on him or stop talking to him - this is just about getting the unattainable guy. It’s a tactic, something from the playbook.

Cynical? Yes, he is.

“Wars or Trek?” Stiles turns fully towards him.

And he’s still being pornographic with that drink - Derek’s trying not to look at it too much, because even though it’s a cheap ploy, he’s only human and Stiles’ mouth is just sinful.

“What?”

It takes a while for his brain to process that inane question - and no, that has nothing to do with the single beer he had about two hours ago.

“Star Wars or Star Trek?” Stiles acts like this is a normal question.

Abandoning his quest to get the bartender to service this corner of the bar, he decides that he might as well continue talking to Stiles. They can chat for a bit, and then Stiles can get his awkward come-on out and Derek can reject him and he can go the fuck home and jerk off to porn. Because that is more satisfying than any of the men who propositioned him.

“That’s what you’re going to ask me?” He scoffs.

“Yes,” Stiles’ hands are in motion now. “I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in about a week, and since Danny has bailed on me to grope his boyfriend and the queens are still hard at work, this is the most stimulating conversation I’m going to get. Or would you rather talk about DC versus Marvel?”

That explains why he looks like he’s about to crash. If Derek cared, he’d ask why Stiles hasn’t been sleeping. But Cora’s called him an asshole since she was old enough to know that she shouldn’t use that word, and she is not wrong.

“C’mon, Derek,” Stiles goads him. “Or if you’d rather reject some more brave souls, I can just move away and leave you to it.”

He snorts, because brave souls? Really? Drunk idiots is his preferred synonym.

“Fuck no,” is what he ends up saying.

“Poor baby is tired of being the object of everyone’s affection,” Stiles is clearly an asshole, and Derek should not be charmed by it.

So he snipes back. “Jealous?”

“I don’t know about your life,” Stiles just goes in. “Sure, you’re hot like burning, but you’re an asshole who’s too embarrassed to talk geek with me. I’m expecting you to keep up - you look like the guy who owns both a leather jacket and a thumbhole sweater. You have layers.”

What the fuck would that kind of guy even look like? Like Derek, apparently, because Stiles is fucking right about this and it pisses him off. He doesn’t get to wear his leather jacket much, because California’s weather is a lot hotter than he’s used to, and he’s already looking forward to the upcoming winter. Even if he only wears his favorite sweater in the comfort of his own apartment.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” And he’s smug about it too.

“I’m like an onion,” Derek is annoyed enough to stick with the conversation.

Sarcasm drips off his every word - he’s expecting Stiles to have at least enough intelligence to grasp that.

And he’s proven right when Stiles laughs.

“So much more than just a pretty face,” he nods emphatically, almost like he’s his own bobblehead. “I respect that.”

This guy is completely ridiculous, so why is Derek still here, staring at his hands and long fingers and contemplating what they’d feel like on his skin? He’s pretty damn close to kinkshaming himself at this point. Because really, this is what does it for him?

Because yes, Stiles is attractive, tall and slim with eyes that make him think of honey, a mouth that never stops moving - just like his hands. Still, he’s dressed like he just lost a fight with someone or something, and he isn’t doing what Derek expected he’d do.

And that’s the thing, right there. Stiles is a fucking breath of fresh air after eighteen guys pulling exactly the same trick.

“You’re an asshole,” he tells Stiles, unable to hide how delighted he is by it.

“Ditto,” Stiles shoots back, also grinning.

He’s jostled a bit by the people trying to get closer to the bar, but no one uses the opportunity to get all up in his business - which is a new experience. Because he’s been so caught up in Stiles, no guy has dared to come over with yet another awkward come-on. That’s a bonus.

“Fuck, I’m so tired,” Stiles lets his head drop onto the bar.

Derek hopes it sticks, because the bar is covered in sticky drink residue and other fluids he does not want to examine too closely. At the same time, he just wants to carry Stiles off somewhere to make sure he gets some fucking sleep.

Which… He doesn’t do nurturing well. It just doesn’t come naturally to him.

“Why are you still here?”

“Only so we can have these moments,” Stiles’ wit doesn’t suffer, somehow. “Because Danny’s my ride and he’s not done riding Ethan yet.”

Stiles motions in the direction of the dancefloor, and Derek pointedly does not look at what he’s pointing at. Because the vultures will descend the second he makes eye contact with someone.

“I’m taking you home,” Derek’s mouth is moving before his brain catches up.

“Oh, Derek,” Stiles bats his eyelashes at him like he’s a Southern Belle. “I thought you’d never ask. But seriously, as much as I’d love to get all up in that, I’m way too exhausted to do you justice. Raincheck?”

Cora is going to die laughing when she finds out about this - and she will. She always does.

“I’ll take it,” Derek finds himself saying. “But I’m still dragging your exhausted ass out of here. You’re drooling on the bar.”

Of course Stiles almost trips as he pulls himself back into a normal standing position, and of course Derek isn’t stupidly charmed by this idiot. Only he is.

“So you have been looking at my ass?” Stiles’ smile is sleepy and fond now.

“Just as much as you’ve been looking at mine,” he shoots back, motioning for Stiles to follow him.

Stiles laughs, almost elbows Derek in the gut and proceeds to take the lead.

Never a dull moment.

[timeisacephalopod]

Playlist

I figured I’d write more of the YouTube AU with Peter/Stephen/Tony. Honestly, I should do some kind of other AU with them but for now we discuss Peter’s playlists lol.

“Wong has abandoned me,” Stephen says dramatically. Tony and Peter don’t even react because Wong would never abandon Stephen but he seems to think they should be a lot more invested. “Did you two not hear me?” he asks and Peter bites the bullet, sighing.

“We heard you, but we think you’re being dramatic,” he says. How nice of him to take one for the team like that.

Given how offended Stephen looks he’s probably going to regret that. “You think being upset about being abandoned is dramatics?” he asks in a haughty tone.

“Considering you decided Tony being on a business trip and me sleeping was you being abandoned, yeah,” Peter tells him.

Tony probably shouldn’t risk laughing but that’s too good not to laugh at.

*

“I love when people know shit-”

“Yes, me too but it happens so rarely,” Stephen says, cutting Peter off.

Peter sighs. “As I was saying I love when people know shit about the development of a project because this random person tweeted ‘the best thing about going to see Consuming Fire is that you know at one point it was a monster fucking movie’ and that’s hilarious,” he says.

God, yeah. And Peter fought about it for awhile too, which resulted in him nearly getting fired twice until Stephen had made a casual comment about making one of the characters a musician. With an in like that Peter had had a much less difficult time writing something that wasn’t total garbage, even if it was straight people. Then came the fight to cast Kamala and mini Peter in the roles, which resulted in a bunch more rewrites, but the interest generated from his casting choices alone seemed to appease pissy studios and audiences alike so.

“Imagine if Kamala was the fish man from The Shape of Water,” Stephen says, shaking his head. “Absolutely awful. Unpopular opinion, that movie was awful,” he adds.

“You have no taste,” Peter tells him.

“I thought the fish man was romantic,” Tony says and Stephen wrinkles his nose.

“White people are monster fuckers,” he mumbles. “Something went wrong in Europe.”

Peter starts laughing and Tony sighs, “dude, Sam dresses up as a furry on a regular basis. This isn’t just a caucasian problem- every race of human is into some weird shit.”

Stephen shakes his head, “Sam is an exception and should not be counted and when did he decide he was a furry?” he asks, frowning.

“Dude dresses up like a bird all the time,” Peter points out. “Calls his alter ego Falcon and he doesn’t even fucking dress up as a falcon.”

“He should dress up as a great tit,” Tony says and Stephen looks like his soul has died a little.

“We’re not talking about furries or monster fuckers anymore. We’re talking about Peter’s strange ability to make a playlist for every possible situation,” Stephen says. “Shall we go through the stranger ones?”

He pulls Peter’s phone out of his pocket and Tony snatches it, scrolling through the absurd amount of playlists. “Oh here’s one. ‘That feeling you get when you fuck at three a.m but actually you want to die.’ I don’t know what that means.”

Stephen pulls the phone back and starts scrolling. “Oh lovely- ‘for when you’re in Medicine Hat, Canada and the Tim Hortons is being held up.’ Are these built on personal experience?” he asks, squinting.

Tony takes the phone back and scrolls a little before sighing. “Seriously? ‘The feeling you get when you look at Tony Stark’s ass’? Is that a real thing?”

Stephen takes the phone back and laughs, “it was made three years before he met you,” he says. “That’s funnier.”

Peter snatches his phone. “I don’t even know how you two got that,” he mumbles. “And by the way- okay you know what, I will give you ‘Frankenstein vore playlist’ because I don’t even know what that means,” he says.

Stephen pulls a list from his pocket, “I’ve made a list of the strangest playlists though I did manage to somehow miss that one,” he says, wrinkling his nose at Peter. Tony leans over to look at the list and snorts at what he finds there. Honestly only Peter would have a playlist dedicated to making egg salad in someone else’s kitchen while you rob them.

“You have an ‘evacuate the building in case of fire’ playlist. No one will be listening to these, they’ll be exiting the damn building,” Tony says.

“Wedding in a classroom in rural Alaska- why is that a playlist?” Stephen asks.

“You went with that over ‘tickle my ass with a feather’ playlist?” Tony asks, giving Stephen a judgmental look.

“That one’s for Rocket,” Peter says, giving them more information than they wanted, Tony is sure.

“Got my ass kicked by a ballerina with teeth for a face- what? What does that mean, Peter?” Tony asks, baffled.

“What’s on the tin- it literally says it all in the title.”

Stephen rubs his temple and sighs. “Accidentally laughed at a funeral?” he asks.

Peter shrugs, “its been known to happen.” Even Stephen, the most cold hearted person Tony knows, clearly thinks that’s a dick move.

“Got caught in a government scandal?” Tony asks. “You don’t even understand politics.”

“Its worse because he has political opinions,” Stephen mumbles.

“Oh like that makes me any different than politicians,” Peter says and just because he’s right doesn't mean he should be.

“CIA mind control playlist?” Stephen asks.

“Are we going to read these all day, I feel like we’ve got better content than this,” Peter says.

Stephen squints at his list, “workplace serial killer playlist? I get work place shooter because that happens. I get disgruntled employee because that happens. I get serial killer because those are a thing. But in what world does a person have a problem with a work place serial killer?” he asks in a haughty tone.

“Well when you say it like that it sounds ridiculous,” Peter mumbles.

He gets a look from Stephen for that, “it sounded ridiculous the whole time. Like your damn monster fucking romcom.”

“It could have worked, we have vampire shows,” Peter points out.

Tony rolls his eyes, “that’s not monster fucking, that’s a cop out. You better be fucking something only vaguely human looking or you’re a pussy.”

“Structurally speaking female genitalia is the superior design, I don’t know why we use those as an insult. We should be calling people gonads on account of the poor design choices evolution made there. Or backs. The spine is basically a pixie stick holding up your meat sack- its an insult to biological architecture,” he says like that’s a phrase anyone but him has thought up.

Peter starts laughing and Tony decides to call it a day because there’s no coming back from that.

*

“So people have been writing meta on why our dynamic is so watchable,” Peter says, “and I honestly never thought I’d hear the phrase ‘Tony Stark is the straight man’ but here we are.”

Tony frowns, “I’m bisexual,” he says. How is it possible to fuck two whole assed dudes and still end up being called straight? Though there are those conspiracies about him being brainwashed and held captive because that’s the gay agenda these days, he guesses.

Stephen lets out a long sigh but Peter explains. “Its not a sexuality thing, its a comedy thing. There are the nutty characters and then the normal one who grounds them all- the straight man. You’re the one who grounds me and Stephen,” he says.

Tony squints, “cite your sources,” he tells Peter. Pepper is the straight man normally. Rhodey, he might be straight man passing if he didn’t always go along with Tony’s dumb plans. Pepper though, she lives and breathes common sense and forces him and Rhodey to also live and breathe common sense. Tony can’t imagine how he’s the straight man.

Peter nods, “yeah, so normally that’s not what the fuck you’d be on account of being a quirky billionaire genius who casually blows shit up on such a regular basis that its normal to you. But you hang out with a man who once faked a haunting to get rid of a roommate, casually refers to his coworkers killing people and how it inconveniences him because of hour cutbacks, and is sometimes actually magical. Couple that with your other partner in crime, me, who got into a several months long fight with a studio over whether or not I can make a monster fucking movie because I can’t write straight people, who got famous after writing a sci-fi musical space opera about his daddy issues, has a playlist for being murdered by sheep, and literally has a friend named ‘Rocket Racoon’ and your shit is no longer weird. You are the straight man only because the two people you’re with are so weird that your weird no longer looks weird in comparison,” Peter says.

They all sit on that for a long moment before Tony crosses his arms and glares straight ahead. “I don’t want to be the straight man,” he mumbles.

Stephen pulls a handkerchief seemingly out of nowhere and throws it at him. “Go cry me a river,” he says.

He picks up the handkerchief and frowns. “This is monogramed. And where wee you hiding it?”

*

Wong scrolls through the comments nodding to himself. “My favorite thing about these videos is my strange but adorable cult following,” he says.

Yeah, Wong is kind of a series regular but people have grown to like him with a surprising amount of enthusiasm. Stephen, however, looks irritated with this. “They have poor taste,” he mumbles.

Peter pets his head, earning a dirty look for his efforts. “Don’t worry, only about half the audience hates you now,” he chirps in an overly cheerful tone.

“Half the audience needs standards,” Wong murmurs, taking a sip of Stephen’s coffee.

Stephen pulls his cup back, “yes, half the audience needs to grow up and come to the conclusion that I’m far superior to Peter,” he says. “And on par with Tony, I suppose,” he adds.

Wong takes the coffee back, “that wasn’t that half of the audience I was referring to, Stephen, and we both know that. And Peter is superior to you on account of having a personality that isn’t the equivalent of sand paper on the senses.”

“I have a playlist for that too,” Peter says, grinning.

Tony rolls his eyes, “you have a playlist for drowning in quicksand in the middle of a forest on a planet in another solar system. We fucking know you have a playlist for it,” he says.

“Have a playlist for when your irritating best friend all but forces you to pick up his questionable boxers in the morning and you feel a little bit of your soul slip into another dimension?” Wong asks and Peter frowns.

“I uh... no, I don’t,” he says, looking lost and confused.

[quatschmachen]

Reconcile

This follows Deliverance.

1980s fic. Masterpost.

XXXXX

“Étienne.”

“Édouard!!!” his name had become a whoop as Étienne forcefully pulled himself up onto the table, his boot thunking onto the heavy wood tabletop. With a feline like grace he stood and took the two direct steps across it to Edward, crouched down, looked him directly in the eye. His eyes had a slightly manic light to them as he leant forward and cupped Edward’s face; he studied the man intently, almost as if he half expected it not to actually be him. Étienne’s hands were warm, pressing into Edward’s cool cheeks a little too firmly.

“It is you!” He turned to his group of friends, “I’VE FOUND HIM!” who in turn cheered. With little to no grace, Étienne slid off the table and onto Edward’s lap, his bony ass digging into Edward’s thigh, with a plop. Back pressed into Edward’s side, sitting sideways, legs slightly sticking out from the booth, Edward instinctively wrapped his arm around the man’s tiny waist, feeling how his bones prominently pressed into him.

Turning back to Edward he began to excitedly babble, his words almost not processing in Edward’s daze as he was still trying to catch up on finding Étienne again. “I saw you were having a lot of fun with Albert at the orgy --- how was it? I assumed you left with him, and you know how it goes, figured I too would have fun,” Étienne cast a glance at a handsome fellow sitting across from them, “Gregoire is quite an ample lover, spent the rest of the night and morning at his place, I strongly suggest him as a good fuck if you wanted to try. Hung like a horse and knows what to do with his mouth.”

Tuning in more, Edward frowned slightly, “You left the orgy?”

“Of course, why not?” Étienne laughed, “You know how to take care of yourself, you had disappeared as well… might as well have fun while we’re still young right?”

Looking at his sharp profile, Edward felt a torrent of emotions swirling inside of him, the questions heatedly bubbling inside. If he waited too long, he felt like all the words would get sucked down into the watery grave of Charybdis, the yapping dogs of Scylla in the distance echoing all the words he should have said. Words like ‘why did you leave me’ seemed insufficient. He had planned to yell at Étienne, to ask him why, to question the abandonment. A part of him wanted to make Étienne feel just as shitty as he had felt over the past 12 hours or so. Another part of him cautioned that if he were to act like the stroppy boyfriend now, Étienne would never invite him again. Étienne did not want someone who wanted to hold him accountable, and Edward was terrified if he let the other man know how upset he really was, his entire heart would be laid open, beating in the cold night air, steam rising with each thud,  thud, thud, only to be scraped raw by the snowplough of Étienne’s indifference, covering the raw bleeding organ with the dirty icy shards of the road, the salt burning holes into nothing would be left.

Suppressing his boiling feelings, realizing that even if he were to bring it up, ask about the abandonment, it wouldn’t matter. Étienne had simply assumed he had gone off to have his own fun, a situation that was not out of the norm. Étienne was not his keeper, lover, or parent. Simply a friend. An old friend. One who seemed to think that Edward Augustus Murphy had enough suaveness to pull off getting taken home by some dude whom he only had indistinct memories of. The green in Étienne’s eyes caught in the changing club lights, easy to see as the other man was not wearing his glasses, and Edward realized how absolutely tired he looked. If Étienne opened up a couture shop, he could sell the bags out from under his eyes. His cheeks were pale, and his body was trembling with drugs.

“Yeah you’re right,” Edward managed to grin, his gaze lingering on Gregoire in what he hoped could be read as desire and not him wanting to simply tear the man apart. Good time, huh? Étienne looked like shit. Once he was certain he could have his emotions under control, he nuzzled Étienne’s neck, feeling the man shudder, as he murmured, “Don’t want to be a drag, but do you have anything to give me a really good buzz? My coke’s wearing off…”

“You’ve asked exactly the right person,” Étienne purred.

XXXX

In between here and there was simply sensations; the light on skin, the salted taste of a kiss, the ache in the calves from dancing, and a warm hand on his ass. The room of the club seemed to expand and contract, becoming a space of echoing noise where whatever was spoken was lost in the fray. Edward found himself out on the street calf-deep in the continually falling snow, dragging the scarf tighter around his neck. Étienne was next to him, humming some tune that was so out of date Edward could remember how to play the fiddle to it.

“Do you think we should cab it or walk?” Edward slurred, as Étienne finally seemed to focus back on him.

“Seeing as we do not have the devil around to make any deals with to fly home, I suppose a cab would be best,” Étienne stated, as he started humming again, the tune infectious. Edward found himself humming along, until at some point, neither of them knew when, they were singing the lyrics, arms linking, partially to be steady and partially for warmth.

Étienne’s voice abruptly trailed off as he flagged down a cab. Clambering into it, Étienne gave his address, and the vehicle after a moment started slowly down the snowy street.

If his brain was functioning properly Edward would have rebelled against Étienne’s arm continuing to be linked in his, inside the cramped space of the cab, but with the snow falling, the radio inside the nicotine interior of the cab softly playing, and the smoke curling from the cabbie’s cigarette, he found himself not caring.  He shifted his fogged-up glasses, irritated at the condensation, knowing that if he were to rub them it would only leave a smear, so he compromised by moving them to the top of his head, leaving the world with the soft edges of his imperfect sight. This was nice, this moment in between, where he could let his brain go blank as he looked out to the moving city, the lights twinkling in the distance, the other vehicles of the night moving past. In the distance the mountain loomed, dark enveloped in the snowy cover, the top hidden by heavy clouds and the inevitable invisibility given by the fat flakes falling out of the sky.  Glass cold against his cheek, Edward could feel Étienne shift, head resting on his shoulder, his body going loose in sleep. Tilting his glasses down, Edward looked down at the man, the vision still slightly hindered by the condensation, but he could see enough. Enough to look back out the window, until finally they pulled into smaller twining streets, where the houses connected and whose metal staircases spiraled up, icy steps of death, beautiful in the falling snowlight.

Paying the fare, Edward roused Étienne. Getting out of the vehicle was the awkward dance of trying to open the door being unable to due to the giant snow mound, the cabbie having to pull off more to the middle of the road, opening the door again, and setting foot down into more snow. Étienne had perked up at the freezing cold air, stepping out onto the road, scolding Edward for paying, and then with balance that shocked Edward, leaping over the snow pile, and then letting out a shriek of surprise as the snow puffed up his pants.

Laughing, Edward more carefully crossed the snow mound, enjoying the string of swears issuing from the other man.

Étienne scowled at him and with inhuman speed bent and threw a spray of snow at Edward, letting out a laugh as it hit him in the face.

“Hey!”

Étienne was already trying to quickly move through the snow towards the door as Edward bent and picked up the snow, knowing it was not the right type of snow to be formed into a snowball, but trying anyways. With a disappointing puff it missed Étienne by a wide margin.

Spurred on by the other man’s taunting laugh, Edward hurtled through the snow, and tackled him into the nearest snow mound, Étienne shrieking in surprise and laughter, the actions knocking Edward’s glasses askew, as they each began to pile snow into every open crevice possible, wrestling and rolling, the snow falling down the exposed necks, and shifting up the untucked pant legs. Washing Étienne’s face in the snow, Edward gave an ‘oof’ of surprise as Étienne flipped him, returning the favour.  Squirming and trying to escape each movement managing to get more snow up and down his jacket, he finally pleaded defeat.

With triumph Étienne let him go and flumped on his back onto the snow beside him grinning. “You should know better than to even challenge me.”

Raising his eyebrows at that, Edward shifted and swiftly jammed a large fistful of snow up Étienne’s jacket, aiming perfectly to not only get it under the jacket but under the man’s shirt.

Shrieking bloody murder, Étienne struggled, his sounds of protests turning into rather hysterical laughter, which Edward answered, as their frozen red hands continued to try to smother the other in snow, until finally, exhausted they lay there tangled, Étienne’s curls tickling Edward’s nose, the only sound an occasional bubble of laughter.

“My god I can’t feel my hands… or my face,” Edward murmured.

“I think my entire ass has frozen off,” Étienne replied.

“We should probably move.”

“Are we physically capable of such a feat?”

Edward attempted to shrug, and then, with a groan, managed to lift himself up. “We are capable of anything if it means I can pee without freezing my dick off.”

“That is the most common-sense thing I’ve heard all week,” Étienne responded as he sat up, and then made grabby hands at Edward to help him up.

Managing to pull the other man up and not entirely losing his balance, Edward leant on Étienne as they made it the few final steps to the man’s front door.

Struggling with the key, Edward helped steady Étienne’s arm to get the key into the lock. Together they unlocked the front door and pushed inside the warm habitation.

Edward’s glasses immediately fogged up as the door shut behind them. Stomping and knocking the snow off his boots, he began to undo the zipper of his jacket, his cold fingers not easily following his commands.

“Let me help,” Étienne’s hands somehow were slightly warmer, and together they unzipped his jacket.

There was a silence, one which Edward was not sure how to interpret, he could barely see the frown on Étienne’s face through the tiny defogged portion of his glasses.

“Edward… why are you wearing two jackets?”

“Hm?” Looking down he frowned, lifted his glasses so he could see, squinted.  “Where did my jacket come from? Why am I wearing it?”

Étienne’s fingers had grabbed onto what was visible of the grey wool jacket, “You’re wearing one of my jackets! How? What?” “Well I stopped by today and got a jacket because I lost my jacket, but you haven’t explained why I’m managing to wear both of them?”

“Shit, it was dark in the bar and I gave you your jacket and you put it on…”

Edward attempted to think back to the bar, it was simply a blending of situations, where at some point the two of them had decided to leave, getting the jacket from the check, and then simply taking the jacket Étienne handed him, actions he hadn’t even thought about, his mind swimming with alcohol and drugs, simply accepting things without question.

“But how…”

“Because I had it?”

“How the hell did you have my jacket? I thought I’d lost it.”

“I had it. If I had it, I would find you again,” came the simple answer. “How did you get into my place? What happened to Albert?”

“Oh y’know I woke up and wanted to go back to your place so I did… Élyse was here…” Edward avoided Étienne’s probing gaze as he continued to undress, “It worked out.”

Shrugging off his jacket he hung it on the hook, his cold fingers grasping at the buttons of the other one.

“Hm. Good thing Élyse was here…” Étienne made a low hmming sound as if he was trying to think of something, “I should see if I have a spare key for next time in case we get separated again, I don’t want your ass frozen to my front step.”

“Yeah I s’pose,” Edward yawned as he struggled to get out of the second jacket. Étienne helped him out, and then finally hung that one up.

As they finished undressing, Étienne kept frowning slightly, as if the words he had said weren’t the ones on his mind, and as Edward moved out away from the front, he wondered if he should bother asking. Sometimes with Étienne it was better to leave things unsaid.

[jaineym]

Celebrity Crush

Prompt: BTS is in America for yet another awards show, and Jung Hoseok expresses his liking towards you in an interview, only for you to do the same with him a week later in an interview of your own. The two of you are then seated next to each other at said awards show.

Pairing: Hoseok x Celebrity!Reader

Genre: Fluffiest of fluffs

Word Count: 2,683

Your POV

You checked your phone, scrolling through your twitter notifications as you saw thousands upon thousands more mentions than what you would usually get. Furrowing your brows, you sifted through the mess to find the cause, finding a video of an interview that the famous kpop group, BTS, had done recently in America.

You clicked on the video, only giving half of your attention to the very good looking men on the screen as you took a spoonful of the cereal on front of you, shovelling it into your mouth.

“So we all know you guys are going to be performing at the awards show coming up in two weeks,” the interviewer spoke, “But are there any celebrities that you guys are excited to see perform?”

“Y/n,” the red haired boy half yelled, catching your attention as you watched intently, his smile shining bright to match the rest of him.

“Jhope over here has a massive crush on Y/n,” the man who you knew as the leader of the group pointed at the bubbly boy, “He literally has their music playing all the time around the house, even when going to sleep.”

“They are quite a talented musician,” the interviewer replied, “Very good looking, too.”

The man, Jhope you believe he was called earlier, nodded happily, his cheeks tinging the lightest shade of pink that it was almost not there at all. Almost.

The interview continued on and you watched as the boys all spoke, their humorous personalities shining through as it ran smoothly. Once the video ended, you decided to go on YouTube and search for more content of theirs, completely abandoning your breakfast.

Your attention was almost completely on the ‘sunshine of the group’, watching as he joked around with his band members, being the mood maker of most videos you watched. You found yourself enjoying his joyful exterior and wanting to get to know the boy, as well as the other members of BTS.

Minutes went to hours and you found yourself binge watching this group, listening to their music and falling into the hole that is being a fan of this extremely talented and beautiful group of young men.

Hoseok’s POV

“WHAT THE FUCK NAMJOON?!” I screamed at the younger man as we got in the car after leaving the set of yet another interview, steam basically pouring out of my ears as I fumed.

“What?” he spoke back, a smirk playing on his lips, “I was just telling the truth, you are obsessed with y/n.”

“That doesn’t mean I want the world to know that I have a gigantic crush on them and listen to their music while sleeping! I’m going to look like an absolute creep if they see that, which they most probably will,” I sulked, dramatically throwing my head back to hit the head rest with a thump.

“It’s not that deep dude,” Namjoon tried to reassure me as we drove back to the hotel, Taehyung quickly changing the conversation to something lighter, joking around with Jungkook.

Your POV

You sat in the dressing room, Awake playing from the speakers connected to your phone as you got your makeup done. It had been a week since you had become a fan of BTS, and you would be lying if you said that you hadn’t spent the entire week surrounding yourself in their content.

Today you had an interview for the upcoming awards show that you were performing at, and the interviewer just happened to be the same as the one who hosted the interview that brought your eyes to the group of boys.

“MAYBE I I CAN NEVER FLYYYY!” You exclaimed as the chorus hit, your makeup artist sighing with a smile as she waited for you to regain yourself before continuing to do her job.

*

“Y/n, it’s wonderful to have you here today,” the interviewer spoke, his smile bright as you nodded.

It’s wonderful to be here,” you replied, plastering a smile on your face as you mentally prepared yourself for another interview.

The topics were the same as every other interview you’d had recently, talking about how excited you were for your performance, what music you had in the works, etcetera.

“So y/n,” the man spoke, “Are there any celebrities that you are excited to see perform next week?”

“Well I really like the kpop group ‘BTS’, they’re amazing performers,” you replied, your smile growing as you thought of the seven boys.

“Oh, is that so?” the interviewers eyebrows rose slightly for a second, “I had them on the show last week and they said that they were anticipating your performance, which I’m sure you’ve seen then,” you nodded in response, “So who’s your bias then?”

“Jung Hoseok,” you said instantly, your cheeks reddening as you spoke quieter, “Jhope. I haven’t been a fan of theirs for very long but he has always been my bias.”

“Why’s that?” the man questioned you, your words spiking an interest to him.

“Well, it’s not anything in specific,” you explained, “He’s very funny, happy almost all the time, an amazing dancer, rapper, singer and much more, not to mention incredibly handsome.”

“You sure sound fond of him,” the interviewer smirked as your cheeks reddened further after your little fan session.

The interview then went back to regular questions, your face returning to it’s natural colour. Once it was over, you mentally hit yourself for pouring out so much about your love for the seven boys, specifically Hoseok.

Hoseok’s POV

“Hyuuuung,” Jungkook sang, entering my studio with a bright smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners, “I have something you might want to seeee.”

“What?” I narrowed my eyes at the maknae, suspicious of what he had to show me.

“It’s about your lover, y/n,” he shoved his phone in my face, an interview video displayed on the screen, the title being ‘Musician y/n talks about their upcoming music performance, music in the works and Kpop group, BTS’.

“LET ME SEE! LET ME SEE!” I screamed, snatching the phone from his clutch before pressing play, watching the interview intently.

My knees felt weak as my celebrity crush spoke well of me, expressing their interest towards me and the group, literally screaming as I listened to her talk about how ‘talented and handsome’ I am.

“Is everything okay? Did someone get hurt?” Namjoon questioned, his eyes filled with worry as he entered the studio room.

“They- me- bias- handsome-” I poke breathlessly, my eyes basically forming the shape of hearts as I struggled to gather a coherent sentence to the concerned leader of our group.

“I assume you showed him the interview,” Namjoon looked over at Jungkook who nodded in response, his bunny smile still taking over his features, “Yeah, the whole internet is kind of exploding with things surrounding the two of you.”

“Of y/n and I?” I questioned confusedly, pointing at myself as Namjoon just nodded.

”I need to lie down for a bit,” I mumbled, excusing myself before heading to my bedroom, my mind not wandering from y/n.

Your POV

It was finally the day of the awards show that you were set to perform at, your past week having been a mix of intense practicing, interviews and watching and listening to BTS.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, admiring what you saw. Your outfit consisted of pale yellow articles of clothing, white accessories and shoes accompanying it well.

It was almost time for the red carpet, and as you were being escorted to your limousine, you quickly went on twitter. You went onto BTS’ official account to find a new post by Hoseok, the red haired boy sporting a black blazer and white button up, a pale yellow bow tie secured around the collar.

You smiled at the beautiful photo that was worth of being hung in an art gallery, liking the post before locking your phone and heading inside the large black car.

*

After what seemed like an eternity of flashing cameras and reporters eager to ask you - sometimes rather personal or rude - questions, you finally headed into the venue, finding your seat in the front row. Funnily enough, there were seven reserved seats beside yours that had papers that read ‘BTS’ on them, laughing softly as you assumed that this was planned due to the large amount of publicity you and the group have been getting involving one another lately.

More and more people began to find their seats in the theatre, the screams of fans of the people who walked in filling your ears. Suddenly, those screams grew incredibly loud, turning your head to see the seven incredibly handsome members of BTS walk towards you.

You turned your head back to the front quickly, focusing on your phone momentarily, pretending that you hadn’t noticed their arrival as you scrolled through your twitter feed, most things being about the awards show. You then heard a small gasp followed by hushed bickering.

“Just sit next to them,” one voice spoke, to which you believed belonged to Seokjin.

“I’ll just embarrass myself, why don’t you?” Hoseok retorted.

“You won’t get a chance like this again, just go sit down,” Yoongi sighed.

You heard a huff followed by shuffling of feet, looking up to see Jung Hoseok taking a seat beside you, his eyes meeting your own as he smiled shyly, returning the gesture yourself.

“Hi, I’m Hoseok but you already know that but we’ve ever met so I feel inclined to still introduce myself,” Hoseok spoke quickly shaking his head after, “I said too much, sorry.”

You laughed softly, offering him your hand to shake, “It’s fine, I’m y/n. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

He looked at your hand, questioning whether or not to shake it for a second before wiping his hand on his suit pants, taking your hand in his and shaking it gently, still holding your hand for a moment before gently slipping his into his lap.

“I like your tie,” you said, your cheeks reddening at your attempt to keep the conversation alive.

“Thank you, I picked it out myself,” the red haired boy beside you smiled down at the accessory before looking back over at you, “Hey, we’re matching! Yellow!”

“It’s as if someone planned it,” you smiled back at him, noticing that his eyes were focusing on your cheeks, embarrassment washing over you instantly as you covered your face with your hands, “Do I have something on my face? Sorry.”

“No no no!” Hoseok rushed, taking your hands in his as he pulled them away from your face, “I was just thinking about how cute you look when you’re shy and your cheeks turn pink.”

Your face reddened further at the compliment, your gaze lowering to your hands as you noticed that they were still in his, looking to the ground quickly but not moving your hands.

“That was very smooth,” you heard Jimin speak from beside Hoseok, his words coated with sarcasm.

Hoseok let go of your hands, looking over to the blonde haired boy before whacking him on the back of the head lightly, “Shut up, you idiot.”

The group of boys spoke to each other, including you in their conversation very often, and you thought to yourself about how genuine and nice they all seemed; their gentlemen image sure did hem justice.

Your focus turned to the stage in front of you as the host walked out, signalling the beginning, and you began to watch the show unfold.

*

You were nodding along lightly to a popular song being performed when a dark figure walked over to Namjoon, whispering something in his ear, to which he nodded. The message was passed down by each member before they all stood up.

“We have to go backstage now, we’re up soon,” Hoseok spoke, offering you a soft smile, to which you returned, “I look forward to your performance.”

A few minutes later, the same worker spoke to you, telling you to head backstage. You stood up, brushing off your outfit before following the man.

You put your focus onto the live screening of the performances, watching the talented performers as you anxiously awaited backstage to be called to the stage.

You were given a ten minute warning and began to make your way to the wing of the stage when you heard the familiar angelic voice that belonged to Park Jimin, looking over to the stage to see BTS performing Blood, Sweat and Tears.

It was as if you were in a trance. You had seen them perform this song several times, but seeing it in person right at this second, it was amazing to say the least.

You found your attention always wandering to Hoseok, his body moving in perfect rhythm as their beautiful voices sounded throughout the theatre, his parts making your knees weak.

The last chorus came to an end and the music faded, the boys holding their poses on the stage for a few seconds as the crowd roared with claps and cheers, walking off in the opposite direction of where you stood as the host came back on the stage, about to introduce you.

Performing on a stage wasn’t something new to you, but it still gave you the same amount of adrenaline each and every time, which is another reason why you loved what you do.

The music began to play, and you drowned out the crowd slightly, focusing on your performing. What felt like seconds was actually minutes, and before you knew it, you were already walking back off the stage.

Hoseok’s POV

I panted softly, still trying to catch my breath from our performance as we sat in the dressing room. I patted the towel along my neck, swiping the dripping sweat away as I heard a familiar melody begin to play.

“Wait, shut up!” I hushed my band members as my attention focused on the television that played the live performance, y/n standing on the stage as they performed their song that I had heard so may times over and over. It was different now though, I could hear their passion ringing throughout the theatre as they performed with such raw emotions on display.

It was at this moment where I saw just how beautiful and talented they were, more than I could have ever fathomed; it was at this moment where I realized just how much I loved y/n.

The performance ended and they walked off the stage. I sat there for a moment, so many thoughts bouncing in my mind. Without a single word, I jumped up from my seat, racing to the door.

“Where are you going?” I head Yoongi speak as I opened the door, slipping out of the room and into the hallway quickly.

I looked around at the many doors, my heart beating faster as I found the one I was looking for.

Your POV

You walked off the stage, a sigh of relief escaping your lips as the spot light was taken off of you. You continued walking backstage, met by a hallway of rooms, each door having a name written on them. You searched for your own, opening the door before walking in and closing it behind you quickly.

“Y/n,” your gaze shot up quickly over to the couch, Hoseok standing from his seat with a wide smile, “Your performance was amazing.”

“Thank you,” you spoke quietly, your gaze lowering to the carpeted floor, “What are you doing in here, Hoseok?”

“Call me Hobi,” he made his way over to you, laughing softly, “Hoseok sounds so formal.”

“Hobi-” you were cut off by the red haired boy wrapping his arms softly around you, surrounding you in a comforting hug. You hesitated for a moment before placing your arms around his slender waist, hugging him back.

He sighed into your hair, contentment surrounding you. The two of you stayed like that for a while, a comfortable silence filling the room.

“So I was wondering,” Hoseok mumbled, swaying gently from side to side, “Can I get your number?”

[once-upon-a-ouat]

OUAT Rewatch 1x19 “The Return”

OUAT has returned with another great episode. Don’t believe me? Head under the cut to find out what’s the deal of this episode and why it is so good.

The flashbacks fleshed out Rumple’s character even more (how is that even possible?). We saw how much and how quickly power had corrupted him. His total disregard for Baelfire’s pleas was just horrifying. And he killed a mute woman in oder to keep his secret. It showed very well that even despite his newly-gained power, he was still a coward, which played a major part a bit later on in the story. I, personally, loved the implication that the deal he made with Bae was the first one and it was what started his tradition of making deals. And all the deals he made subsequently were supposed to help him fix the consequences of that first deal he broke. I loved how he made it a rule not to break a deal ever again but he still used all the loop holes he could find. He also tried to do that with Bae but he was having none of it. The tragedy of that portal scene is even bigger when you know Rumple’s whole story. I love how OUAT’s characters always follow in the steps of their parents even though they’re completely different people. And I loved that we finally got to see why Rumple needed the Curse so much.

Bae was just adorable in this episode. It can’t have been easy for him to watch his father get consumed by his powers, but he still didn’t give up on him. His determination to find a way to rid Rumple of his powers and his readiness to leave everything behind if it meant he could be with his papa showed the strength of his love for Rumple. So the scene with the portal was really heartbreaking. And his lines showed very well how betrayed he felt so that we can understand him the next time we see him as Neal. “You are the part of him that keeps him human.” While that was true initially, after Rumple lost Bae, his desire to find him only made him fall deeper into darkness and lose more and more of his humanity.

I kinda liked Blue in this episode. That is not to say that she didn’t annoy me a bit because she did. “Because there is good magic and dark magic, and I’m on the right side.” Confident, aren’t you? I can think of a few instances when you were a major bitch but okay. I want to know why she didn’t deny when Rumple asked if he could get to Bae with a curse. Can’t fairies lie or did she just not want to do it? If it’s the latter, well then, good job, Blue. If you had told a little white lie, maybe none of this would’ve happened. I loved the offended look on her face when Rumple tried to hit her though. Why did they feel the need to give her the name ‘Rheul Gorm’ if they never used it again? Did that serve any purpose (because I don’t think it did)?

Morraine was a nice addition to the story. It was good to see her back. Safe and sound nonetheless. Thanks to Rumple (I have a feeling he put an end to the war because he wanted to show everyone that he wasn’t a coward anymore which the episode undid quickly). I liked the fact that she wasn’t afraid of him and believed that Baelfire would protect her from his father if necessary. She didn’t think Rumple was that big of a monster and it was nice to see a different point of view.

I absolutely loved Gold in this episode. His suspiciousness was awesome to witness. I loved the fact that he asked Emma for her opinion on August (and the little genuine moment at the beginning of their conversation). He trusted her judgment when it came to people. But it still wasn’t enough to calm his suspicious mind. Gold picking a lock is another thing I didn’t know I needed in my life but I can’t live without now. His expression when he saw the drawing of the dagger though. I think Emma should’ve taken him on a stakeout (he’s a lot more patient than Regina).

His chat with Mother Superior was awesome (I loved the mutual dislike between them). “And I don’t have to not double you rent.” Gold, you’re a dick and I love you. It was a power move on the writers’ part to make Blue a part of both Rumple and Pinocchio’s stories. That way they could lead us (and Rumple) on and make us believe August was actually Baelfire.

I loved that even when he went to Archie to seek help, Gold was still controlling the situation. “Honesty has never been the best color on me” though. I feel like he’s scared of letting people see him as who he really is because they’d be turned away which was why he kept lying and that was what turned them away. It was really sad that he thought his son might want to kill him. “Perhaps I’m just seeing what I wanna see.” You have no idea how right you are.

Gold’s apology melted my heart and the realization that he was deceived broke it. But damn, he physically overpowered August so easily. Gold doesn’t strike you as the physically strong type but he’s proven more than once that his devious mind is not the only thing you should be afraid of. It’s as if his anger gives him strength (and suddenly Gold is Hulk; well, a much finer version of Hulk but Hulk nonetheless). He managed to rein in his emotions though and made the best of the situation.

Gold’s conversation with Regina was very amusing. I love how he keeps driving her towards her defeat and gradually weakens her. First, Emma became sheriff and Regina lost control of the police force. And now Emma was out for Regina’s head and Regina also had to sacrifice Sidney if she wanted to walk out of the mess clean. “You and I, we’ve been in this. Together. From the start” means much more when you’ve watched 2x02.

I can’t believe that the writers managed to make August even more mysterious by giving us more clues as to who he is. His claims that he’s not a liar fell short here. The writers once again reinforced the idea that desperation causes us to make the biggest mistakes. August and Gold were essentially the two sides of the same coin. They were both desperate to be reunited with the ones they loved and that caused them to make mistakes. The “I was gonna make the Savior believe but that woman... “ part though. You know it’s true but it sounds horrible. Also, if he had kept his promise and taken care of her, maybe he wouldn’t have to go through all that trouble now. And can they all, please, stop using Henry. I would really appreciate that.

I absolutely loved the scene between Sidney and Emma. I liked how Emma approached the situation and tried to get him on her side. The moment when she realized why he was helping Regina was so awesome. Emma’s face was just the best. I feel like she was thinking “Not you too”. Mary Margaret already got into a big mess due to her feelings, and now Sidney was making the same mistake. Also, I hate to break it to the Swan Queen shippers, but her expression was practically screaming “How can you fall in love with someone so sick?”. It was an understandable reaction because Emma hasn’t seen Regina do anything besides ruin people’s lives (it makes me wonder what Sidney saw into Regina though). The scene also showed the contrast between Emma and Regina’s characters even though Regina wasn’t physically present (a parallel of Cora in the last episode). Emma was trying to help Sidney and get him out of trouble while Regina was only dragging him in deeper.

Emma’s chat with Gold was awesome. She was onto him but he brushed it off as if she couldn’t be farther from the truth. I loved the way she described August, and the way she ended the conversation. I also loved how she got rid of David. It was power move after power move on her part in that scene.

Talking about David, too little, too late, my dude. I am not as annoyed with him as I was in the previous episodes but I absolutely support Mary Margaret in her decision. I loved how fierce she was in that scene. She heard him out but didn’t take crap. I loved how strong she was because it can’t have been easy for her but she did it anyway. We can see how much impact the whole experience had on her and that she came out of it a little jaded, a little rougher around the edges, but also a lot stronger and with more self-esteem than before (that “It didn’t feel like that yesterday” in response to Emma’s “You have a lot of friends” though; Mary Margaret, I love you). I also loved the fact that she took into account Leroy’s words, reflected on them and accepted them as her own truth. It was awesome to see how her character has developed during those last five episodes.

Kathryn is just the sweetest, kindest human being that ever walked this earth. I was practically squealing during her scene with David because it was the cutest thing ever.

Archie was awesome in this episode even though he didn’t get that big of a part. I wish he had told Gold why everyone asked about the rent but it would’ve been a little redundant storywise.

Favorite scene: Gold and August’s ‘reconciliation’. I loved Gold’s honesty in that scene. He knew he had been in the wrong but he showed how much he regretted his choice. I loved how August couldn’t look at him. Gold interpreted it as him still being angry that he abandoned him but I think August felt guilty for using Gold’s love for his son. It made August much more likable given his course of actions. And you could tell how much he wanted to be reunited with his own father.

Least favorite scene: The last one. Regina was just the worst in that scene. Poor Sidney! I can’t help but wonder how she convinced him to take the blame. This scene really canceled out all the sympathy you could’ve felt for Regina during her scene with Gold. But I also can’t really sympathize with Emma here. She’s all out for blood which isn’t the Emma we’ve seen throughout the season. Emma was the person we were supposed to look up to. She did the right thing no matter how hard it was (think 1x08) and I feel like this scene unraveled that a little bit. And that “I’m gonna start playing an entirely different game” sounded more like “I’m gonna stoop to your level because there’s no other way to beat you” (which was exactly what she didn’t want to do). I do realize that even the best people can lose their footing when pushed (and Regina did push with all she had) but I still don’t like it. That scene made me sick to my stomach. By the way, Regina’s face in that scene is the one thing I liked because Emma just threatened to take away the thing she loved most, but her mask didn’t crack even for a second. Here we saw how well she’s mastered the theatrics she was only beginning to get into in the flashbacks of the last episode.

Favorite line:

Archie: Are you here for the rent?

Gold: Why does everyone ask that?

Maybe because that’s the only reason why you initiate interactions with people? I love how much that tells us about Gold’s cursed persona. We didn’t get to see much of him while he was under the Curse and this was a great way to give us a peek without actually doing it. They established his relationship with the entire town with just one line (that built off of two others but still).

Least favorite line: “You tried to take away someone that I love. And now... I’m gonna take away someone that you love. I’m taking my son back.” - Emma to Regina

It sounded like she was doing this as revenge and I’m sorry but I can’t support that. I love how Henry is very suddenly her son now. Newsflash, Emma, if you hadn’t given him up, you wouldn’t have to take him back now. Regina might not have been the best mother (they didn’t show any interactions of her and Henry during that specific period of time that made Emma flip out though and I feel like they should have) but she was still Henry’s mother which Emma seemed to discard completely in that scene and I just hated that.

This review was a real struggle. Why is it so much harder to pinpoint what you liked than what you didn’t? You know you liked it, you have so many thoughts about it, but you can’t put them into coherent sentences (btw, I’m sorry if this review is messy (I mean, messier than my other ones)). What I loved about this episode is that it found the perfect balance between telling its own story while also moving the main plot forward. Robert Carlyle left me speechless once again with his acting. Rumple’s character development was awesome and the mystery around August got even bigger (how did they do that?). Next time we’ll finally find out the true identity of this stranger though.

[sending-the-message]

I've been wandering through Aokigahara Forest, where bodies hang all year long by Ra1n_Walker

Hi guys. This is going to be long, because I'll just be as thorough as possible. I don't think leaving out details will contribute to the story, so bear with me. Or don't… I was wondering how many of you are aware of the existence of this forest. The Sea of Trees, as they like to call it, or, on a less brighter note; Suicide Forest.

I have a mildly unhealthy obsession for the obscure and unsolved mysteries, which often leads me to venture to lost and forgotten places. Abandoned asylums, hotels, evil looking buildings. I love to scour the internet for strange occurences and events that seem to involve anything going from ghosts to murderers or aliens. People will believe anything to feel excitement.

I wouldn't call myself a believer. In fact, I think it's funny how people can get all serious and worked up about some weird theory that sounds creepy, but has not the slightest proof or link to a plausible explanation. What I do believe in is that people have a tendency to do some really fucked up things. Guess everyone knows to what extent, but the real atrocities are preferably kept a bit further in our daily lives and rather not thought of.

It litterally turns me on. I can get goosebumps hearing about gruesome scenes, imagining someone's pain or finding truly disturbing things. The 'this-song-makes-me-wanna-cry' type of goosebumps. I can't ever get enough. So I heard of this forest and read about it on the web. Reddit also has some accounts on this and there's even a few movies based on its reputation and stories (which I haven't seen yet as I don't want to ruin the experience) so it really isn't hard getting a bit educated about it. I had to fricking go there.

So that was that, and I was off to Japan only about a month later. I always thought Mount Fuji might be worth seeing and I definitely had a strong passion for the Japanese culture. And their anime and manga, obviously. Being on a plane towards my long awaited destination, I had enough time to go through the available information and read up on the forest. I probably read it all already, being the special person that I am, but it amused me. 

It definitely was a cool mystery anyway. The 'facts' were often disturbing and the assumptions made around the place were even more so. There's a few of those that really stuck with me that I think are thought provoking or at the very least interesting. I read about a lot of aspects. Locals would believe they could pin point the exact type of visitor to the woods.

There were the ones trying to snap pictures of Mount Fuji and its impressive base and flora around it. Some would go in there and hope to find something dark or scary. Thrillseekers if you will. And then there's the obvious type, the type that make the forest famous; the suicidals that don't plan on coming back out. What the fuck

The thing that struck me when I first heard about it is that it would have to be littered with corpses, seeing as over 75 people were found every year. Most of them hanged. They even reached over a hundred victims a few years back and decided to stop reveiling numbers to avoid making it more popular, thus resulting in more suicides. So yeah, there's a fricking cleanup crew. Every year locals search the forest for bodies or what's left of them.

According to what I'd read, they would drag decomposed bodies or parts of them, skeletons and personal belongings scattered around the sea of trees back to some kind of room where they'd store them. There's accounts of people staying in a room with the bodies, because according to local folklore, it would mean bad luck to leave those  alone.

I landed after a long flight and needed a good night's rest. I always admired people who were able to sleep on a plane, I was too nervous to achieve that. I'd never been too keen on flying and this time was no different. It felt good to get out of that bird. I called a cab and made my way to my hotel, about an hour drive from Shizuoka airport. I would've loved to chat with the driver and learn more than I already knew, but guess what. The dude didn't speak one word of English. 

"Yessir."

Good talk...

I dozed off in the car, face against the window and coat over my head to block out the light of the evening that still shone bright. When I woke up, the cab had stopped and I was in... Shimizu? My Japanese was about as good as the cab driver's English, so I didn't bother even trying to ask. I got out, stepped inside the hotel and was pointed to my room. I stayed there the whole evening to fall asleep quickly. Next day; alarm at 6am, breakfast with some documents and brochures to re-check my way to Aokigahara and what to look out for.

After speaking with the hotel clerk, whose English was good enough to be able to make out key words. It only took me half an hour before being on a train towards Mount Fuji. Shizuoka airport was about 80 miles from Aokigahara  and I was about half way going from where I was right then. An hour drive before getting there and I had to walk quite a bit before arriving at the area I was trying to get to, after even taking an extra bus.

And that's when I finally got to the place I had been looking forward to for the last weeks. I had Mount Fuji looking over me from the distance, like a titan contemplating the world beneath, and the forest of Aokigahara in front of me. The Sea of Trees. Suicide Forest... I was standing at the beginning of a path that lead into the woods. The path seemed to be an easy one to follow, it was clearly maintained regularly and countless footsteps were printed in the slightly muddy trail. Heart racing and adrenaline pumping, I took off hoping for adventure.

The path continued for much further than I had imagined and started twisting and turning the more I got into the forest. I knew it stretched about 13 miles and I wasn't helpless at all when it comes to navigating. I know how to use a compass and I have a good sense of awareness, so I never worried once. I just thought it was a bit weird that people tried to maintain this, as if they were trying to shake the woods' reputation and attract more tourists and less suicidals.

I have to say, after an hour or so, my surroundings felt a bit darker, a bit scarier if you will. One of the reasons for this is that there were multiple ways to go from the main trail. Dozens of paths leading deeper through the trees that were everywhere. I mean it's a forest, but goddamn this forest was dense. A lot of those paths were marked with a sign or a carving in a tree. Messages saying things I couldn't read, others in English saying life is precious and I shouldn't give in, a plea to return to the town and talk to someone... They really tried hard to stop you from killing yourself. Those signs were well intended, but I couldn't help thinking this shit was spooky and so out of place.

Honestly, it was creepy, but nothing I couldn't handle and definitely not enough to satisfy my need for excitement and adventure. I noticed more turns and twists in the trail I was following and I looked behind me on a few occasions just to make sure I kept my bearings. Plus, I was slowly getting a bit paranoid. The forest got darker the more I ventured in and I thought I heard footsteps every so often. Don't get me wrong, I love this. But yeah, shit gets scary when you go looking for it.

At one point, I decided I'd take a break and drink some water while checking the compass, just to be sure. And of course, my compass was acting up and desperately looking for north, while I looked at it and sighed. No biggie, I just have to turn around and follow the trail back, should I want to leave. Problem is, I turned around to find myself standing on an intersection. I had three possible directions to go and I doubted a little when wondering which one I came from. I couldn't remember seeing any paths starting from the one I was walking until then and I felt a lot less confident all of a sudden.

Shit

I was used to the feeling of panic rising and that was also part of the thrill I wanted to find every time I went looking for it. So I took some time to take in my surroundings and thought about what to do now. I hadn't seen anything really exciting so far and I was slowly doubting to go back. But the day wasn't over and I was dedicated to my trip. So I looked up to see if I could see the sun's position and nearly screamed like a girl. The foliage was way too dense to see through, only a small amount of light pierced through the canopy. But hanging practically right above me was a little girl, eyes missing and legs bitten off to the knees. Her head was hanging down rested on her chest and I gagged.

I jumped back and fell down, tripping over and hurting my wrist in the process. I cursed at myself while looking at the grim scene before me, but I can't say I wasn't excited. THIS was the thrill I liked and I was proud of myself for getting where I was trying to get, the small border between adrenaline and madness or insanity. But when you're looking at a dead body of a hanged little girl, there's some things you don't expect/want to happen, because you might just get a heart attack like I almost did.

"Hoshi."

Guys. No shit. I sharted then and there and I'm not even ashamed to admit it. It was the voice of a little girl that sounded like she was playing with her dolls or having an imaginary tea-party. Except she was having it in the middle of a dark forest all alone with a dead girl as a view... It came from right behind me and I turned around with eyes wide open and a scream ready to escape my mouth. There was no one there and I started to feel watched and incredibly nervous. I could hear rustling from behind me and I prayed. I wasn't superstitious, but I think I knew what was coming. I turned around and felt myself turn pale.

"We are the doo doo doO dOO DOOO you help me sir sir please sir for the I want to down down me or you"

The girl was still hanging in the trees when she said it and her empty eye sockets seemed to be shimmering in the dim light. Her mouth didn't move, but her head was straight up and looking forward, completely immobile. It was the most unsettling thing I'd ever experienced and I honestly stood there nailed to the ground, unable to think or move. I didn't understand the first word I heard coming from behind me, but what she was repeating now was so chaotic and abnormal that it scared the living shit out of me.

I stepped back even more and rubbed my eyes, hoping I was dreaming (which I definitely wasn't) and I tried to set my mind straight.

""We are the doo doo doO dOO DOOO you help me sir sir please sir for the I want to down down me or you"

This time it was MUCH louder and coming from much closer and I felt my heart pumping in my head, scared to open my eyes. When I did, I could've cried. The girl was now standing a few feet in front of me, pieces of flesh dragging behind her while her legs, or what was left of them, carried her lifeless body towards me. Saying the same thing over and over again with the rope still tied around her neck, tight.

I stood there watching her, never blinking. She was really frightening with her deep empty eye sockets, her mutilated body and the fact that she was so little. Despite all of that, the sensation of fear and the desire to run became less urgent. I started feeling more sad than scared. A girl that age committing suicide was just above me, it blew my mind and I couldn't shake the feeling this was wrong. Well, of course it was, but isn't it more than just weird to see such a young child here? I looked up and saw the rope going from her neck towards the canopy and realized what was bothering me that much. How the fucking fuck does that rope even get there.

Not kidding, the trees were high. Like, really high. You'd have to use machinery to get all the way up or be a damn good climber and I couldn't for the life of me picture this kid doing that. It was so high up I couldn't even exactly see where it was attached and when I looked back at her, she was holding out her hand as to motion me to grab it. I reluctently took a step forward and held out my hand, watching her getting closer.

Before I continue; what would you do?

Seriously. I'm nearly 30 years old, I'm the biggest horror fan I can think of and I have a tendency to question everything that doesn't have a reasonable explanation. So, what would you do?

I stood there watching her as she stopped in place and looked right back at me with those black, hollow eyes. Despite the obvious fucked-upness of the whole situation, I just couldn't shake the feeling I was having. Unable to explain it, I'd have to go with sheer empathy… This girl had to be, what? Six? Seven years old? I'm not a pro, so ten probably would've done it as well, but you get it. No kid this young should be thinking about suicide, nor should a girl this young be here in a forest so dark and dense you can't hear any birds or other animals. I only heard the sound of the wind rustling through the leaves as I looked at the first person I encountered in these woods; a girl that was so young and looked so innocent that I got sick thinking about the undeniable fact she was here. In these woods that carried its name so clearly and casually, forgotten forever.

"Hoshi."

That word snapped me back to my senses instantly and made me feel like I lost something that I never had. Who the fuck leaves a kid in here, or who the fucking fuck makes a kid feel so bad that it makes her ending up here with a rope around its neck in the Aokigahara forest? Or where the fuck ever. So I don't know what you would do, but tears were almost running down my face when I practically lunged forward and grabbed her hand as firmly as I could.

I guess the world stopped

I was somewhere else, feeling like someone else and thinking like someone else. I was afraid.

If only…

I was scared as I had never been before. The world around me was pitch black and I couldn't hear anything but my frantic screams and the drumming of my blood pumping in my brain, making me feel like I was going to explode. The feeling I had persisted until a loud bang made me jump up and nearly gave me a heart attack.

My blindfold was taken away and the light that attacked my face stung like a thousand wasps. The smack on my jaw made sure I wasn't distracted by the stinging of the air in my nostrils and also made me open my burning blue eyes to watch what was causing me to feel like this.

The guy I was watching looked far too happy to be sane.

I was sitting down in a corner of a room, hands tied behind my back to a chain that was attached to a radiator, the only thing in the room besides me. My wrists were on fire and I saw my little feet twisting in front of me as I cowarded backwards against the wall, trying to escape his filthy hands. The knife in his right hand was all the more threatening when he grabbed my neck with his left and started applying pressure.

Panic, fear, anger, loss, despair. Those are but a fraction of the emotions flooding me at that time and I wouldn't even know how to begin to describe the rest of them. As if the lack of oxygen wasn't enough, the pressure on my neck felt like it was going to make it snap and the fact that my legs were everywhere and arms flailing made sure to make me lose all hope. The world went dark with the last image of a lunatic smiling at me as I drew my last breath.

Then I woke up

I was in the middle of the forest at an intersection and it didn't take me more than a few seconds to realize I was right where I was before I started dreaming. Panicked, I turned to look around me and above me, only to see I was alone in the woods. But the fucking rope was there. Right in front of me, where the girl had been standing, there was a rope on the ground heading deeper into the woods.

Safe to say everything was already fucked up and I didn't even think straight when I bent over to grab it and started following it into the forest.

Stay. The fuck. Out of there.

Guys, I followed it and walked for an hour (approximately) and from the very first minute I was surrounded by a sea. Not of trees, but bodies. Kids hanging from trees, some mutilated, some unharmed as if they were sleeping. Others decomposed to almost nothing but bones, fallen down as their ropes were still ominously hanging from the invisible canopy… it kept going for as long as I was. When I got to the end of the rope and thought I'd shed every tear and consumed all the fear that was hidden inside me, I was standing in the middle of a clearing and looking at a guy.

An asian guy standing by some kind of enormous plastic bag and hoisting something up in the trees with a rope. I started shivering and I felt like all power was taken away from me when I saw an arm sticking out if the bag. The boy he was hanging couldn't have been older than five and the fact I was watching this as if I'd be watching a street musician suddenly put me in a mood I hadn't yet been in.

Tears running down my face and legs unable to take a step in whatever direction, I felt a hand grabbing a hold of mine. The little girl, the one I could watch now without being scared, the one that showed me and asked for help was standing next to me. Although they were blue, she didn't have eyes, but her smile was worth a thousand words.

What happened next took five minutes at the most.

I anonymously notified the police when I found my way back out of the forest almost a full day later and I went back home immediately. I know that nobody there likes to talk about the reputation of the forest and I know that other things have been covered up, so I have no way of knowing what happened or if anything got done.

Don't fucking touch children, because I might be the last thing you see. I looked up what she said -hoshi- and I guess she meant hoshii… I'm not Japanese so I might be wrong, but I believe she wanted/needed someone to help her

[askguyslikeus]

oh shit yall send lots of questions hoo nelly answering almost all of them under the cut ,,, im gunan try and answer more technical ones first then fun ones and ones about the mod later so u dont gotta scroll all the way to the bottom for the good deets

Hi! I'm still kinda new to the blog and I was wondering what are the 'do and do-not' kind question I should do? Because im sure theres always that one ask thats just Innapropiated, like that one of Michael 'taking advantage og high Jeremy' that was just not cool.  i got this ask a lot so ill be clear with yall. im just not a big angst fan? so sending michael asks about his anxiety nonstop and about how he had a panic attack in the bathroom over and over again wasnt that fun. usually if it pertains the musical though you should be find sending an ask about it? but sometimes i get asks that are like “jeremy ur nothing and how does it feel knowing u fucked everything up” like homie how i think its feels? how u think hes gunna react to that? i made this blog to negate a lot of negativity in my own life so i can promise u im going to be answering asks mostly positive always forever. that being said tho i sometimes get asks pertaining to a few things that ive dealt with in the past and these topics make me very very uncomfortable. dont send asks about these topics please. this is the no no list

-self harm, cancer, suicide, rape, parent death, car accidents, sudden death.

What was your inspiration for this blog? hoo boy well,,, ultimately i thought of them rooming together and got emotional and made a huge list of headcanons and was like ,,, why not run an askblog for a bit ill just abandon it after three asks lets have some fun. but somehow im still here and i got sucked in by the complexity of michael and jeremy. i know that sounds kinda silly but just, as someone who is dealing with a lot of similar things, like dependency issues and abandonment issues and depression and anxiety, having these fun functioning character to explore was such a gift for me. i believe honestly thats why im still here and doing this. being able to try and portray a healthy relationship and a healthy way of coping and growing has helped me a lot this past month and given me an outlet i didnt have before. TBH THO the main reason i made this blog if imma be real with u guys id because i didnt like the treatment of a lot of these issues in the fandom. it made me very upset to see depression used as an plot device and michaels dependency issues treated as romantic so i wanted to make a blog that had little to no angst. ANYWAYS somehow im still here ,,, gvrkjvrnkjfd sorry i rambled

honestly I just wanna say first that I love his blog and your art and you're so cool and kind!! a question would be (I'm not sure if you've answered this before or not) but is there like an on going story here, or is it mostly just answering questions with the characters set in this universe? (if that makes sense I'm sorry!) thank you, you're super awesome! ❤️  djrnjg first off thank u so much aaaa,, ive kind of answered this before but its ok its been a while since then! but um i do kinda have a story but how howdy i sure am dragging my feet. the story isn a hUGE OVERARCHING EPIC OF WOE AND THIS PERSON IS UPSET AND THIS PERSON IS MAD AT THIS PERSON its just michael and jeremy getting together. i have a plan and ive talked to a few people on how i want it to happen but ive gained like ,,,, 6,000 followers since then and im kinda nervous BUT ILL DO MY BEST but also please understand that i do this for fun for myself and if i dont get to it im so so so sorry woops

i know this has been said before but i'm really really happy w how you're handling so many aspects of their characters. i.e. michael being trans, michael and jeremy's anxiety, michael's dependency issues, and other stuff i'm too tired to think of. you made the characters have even more depth than they did in the play and i'm rly grateful for the way you're dealing w my favorite boys. (also your richjake is suuuper adorable) ahhhhhh thank u so much? i talked a bit about this on my main but im really glad people are happy with my decision on this blog because im suPER SUPER NERvous anytime i post an ask dealing with these things. (ask hachi or nate i always message them like freaking out and send them my scripts and asks and wait for them to tell me its ok before i post it omg) also like i talked about before i love,,, having these fun stoner gamer boys to explore these issues with. im honestly shocked by how many people also deal with dependency issues because when i first listened to the musical i was so overwhlemed by the song michael int he bathroom because i had never heard someone basically write “dependency issue: the song” and it felt so so so good to realize i wasnt alone in this pit of despair i fall into so easily aha. but im!! glad everyone is ok with this wild ride im on right now (also thank u so much i struggle writing rich and jake but i get so emotional cause they would TOTES call each other babe)

how come you just use sketch form for most of your drawing (sketches and uses sketch for the final result)? im ,,, not really sure what this is asking but i thnk its along the lines of why do i only sketch my answers?? and i do that because dude do u see how often i post and how lONG some of them are. i made this blog for fun and i love doing comics but i hate lineart and coloring and if i tried to churn out finished pics for every post id defs have given up a few asks in,, shrugs

I want to say I love your little comics they're so funny! How long does it take you to make a comic? Are any of them based on your experiences? Ok have a nice day!  thank you! i love my little comics too! it usually takes me anywhere from an hour to five hours if im dragging my ass or talking on discord while im drawing. it can be kinda exhausting but since i took my break ive also been like, starting long comics one day and finishing them another day which, before i would do it all in one sitting then post it hahha. AS FOR EXPERIENCE the first half of the lifeguard comic was based on real life! we were stuck stoned up there for like an hour or two? but we didnt have anyone to help us but we got down eventually!! the wendys comic is also something i did because man!! i need to compliment food workers if they do a good job!! ummmmm just like jenna i also have a friend that said HAHA BYE and moved to cali and she is also lIVING IT UP and doing really well for herself and shes very independent and shes very inspiring to me! hmm i think thats it besides i used to have movie nights with my dad all the time too except we would watch my fave animated movies and sometimes lord of the rings cause my dad loved that

What kinds of things can we NOT ask ? What kinds of things do you WANT us to ask ? i covered the what not to ask in the first question so!!! um if my askbox is open and u want to respond to previous asks ive answered for the boys that would be so so so rad. sometimes im done with a certain ask and i have nothing to add but sometimes ive got more to say but am looking for an opportunity! that being said it made me really happy that i got a lot of asks about pj? shes not going to the main focus of any more asks but!!! i was nervous to introduce her and im glad u guys like her shes fun to write. but overall just general asks i can make a big ol fun story out of so!! dont worry too much about what to ask, if its something ud ask a real person and not like “lol what if ur dad died” ur gunna be fine probably

Hi! Not a question but your blog is so sweet and refreshing! I actually really appreciate that you refuse angst, that stuff tends to rub me the wrong way in fandoms... Keep taking good care of these boys ! gggg thank u!!! it means a lot to me that a lot of people are backing me up on this! i mean if u are an angst fan there are a lot of askblogs that explore that!! so its not in short supply bmc askblog fandoms got something for everyone

Which drawing program do you use?? i use paint tool sai and my tablet is a cintiq !!

this isn't really related to the faq but that bakunawa boy reference was great I LOVE THAT FIC MAN!!! the line was originally a little diff in that ask but i changed it cause ,,,, i could,,,,

an art style question. how do you keep the design of characters consistent from frame to frame? my characters they look a lil different every time I draw em (or a lot different) and it tends to disrupt the flow of my comics/animations ohh boy hoo wee props for doing animations im too scared to give that a whirl but!! it helps that i draw all the panels for an ask on one canvas! so if my next panel is going to be the same character in the same spot just in a diff pose i keep the lower layer on just at low opacity so i can use it as a ref! that helps me a lot!

Sorry if I'm nosy or rude, but are you reflecting Micheal Anxiety, Panic attacks and depence? iii think this is asking if i reflect my own issues onto them boys? and if so then yes i do. i dont place any of my own personality or anything on the boys but i do use them as a way to help me learn how to cope with my own shit and i try to deal with their issues in the healthiest way possible while also keeping in mind they are flawed individuals aaa

what are your pronouns??? and maybe your main blog??  im a cis girl so she/her is good! and my main is squigglegigs! also that being said IF YOU SEE THE USERNAME SQUIGGLEGIGS ANYWHERE JUST?? ASSUME ITS ME?? i have a twitter and an instagram and my tumblr account 

((Hello mod will Michael and Jeremy eventually someday get together. I love them.)) if all goes according to plan yes! if i get overwhelmed and stop having fun on this blog then no! sorry thems the breaks but! i do want them to get together so HOPEFULLY

going off on that confrience on pornogrefy for birds, Im geussing jeremy has played Hatoful Boyfriend. am I wrong? well it wasnt intended as that ref and i dont know anything about hatoful boyfriend but i can see jerm finding it and playing it so, sure homie! the pornography for birds thing is a my brother my brother and me reference! i love that show and them boys so give it a scope!

I'm crying bcuz Michael said he's in love with Jeremy and it's beautiful yeah that boy is DEEP IN love with his bro bro

Any advice for running an ask blog?? (Ps i love this blog keep it up) personally whats worked for me so far is doing just sketches for art. honestly ive been able to work so much more and post so much more often while also trying to work on my expressions and poses! also taking my own experiences and shaping them to fit the characters has been SO MUCH FUN. th most important thing tho is,,, dont overwork urself dude. if ur having a fun time it shows. if ur just forcing urself to churn out material and its not fun? like shit we doing this for free dont push urself? idk idk overall being looser with my art and writing the dialogue before hand has been the most helpful for me for this askblog! ive run a bunch before including @ask-maz and ive run that sporadically for ,, three or four years? its so funny cause u can see my art style juMP AROUND SO MUCH but i love that blog and i only update it like every other month or so but?? i still like doing it and no on likes those posts but it makes me smile so ANYWAYS

~ok from here on its mostly just me replying to nice messages or people asking me personal questions that dont pertain to askguyslikeus so!!~

I just wanted to say I really really love your blog and just your art in general!! Keep up the good work and hope you're having fun! thank u!!! i am having fun and im glad u enjoy it!!

What other musicals do you like? :0  i really like heathers A LOT. i also like doctor horrible i know thats not technically a musical but i just relistened to it and im emotional. i like dear evan hansen but it makes me really sad so i can only take it in moderation! ummm rent? chicago?? music man? now im just naming musicals i was in rip. being in a musical fandom is a new thing to me? i was really into heathers last year but didnt really interract with the fandom at SO THIS IS SUPER NEW?? ive never been into a musical as much as im into bmc and heathers tho

tell us a little bit about urself!! u seem v cool i am squigs or fork!! im 24 and work fulltime as a barista at starbucks! i get high on the beach with my friend gwen a lot and drink wayy to many slushies, my tv shows are brooklyn nine nine and bobs burgers right now! i table at conventions sometimes and sell my art as merch and whatnot and i cosplay as a hobby as well. im pretty boring but i draw a lot and always carry my big sketchbook with me and im pretty sure its given me back issues BUT OH WELL HAHA also i am very not cool THE TRUTH COMES OUT

Who do you most relate to from bmc and why? like ,,, a mix of michael and christine with a sprinkle of jeremy i guess ahaha i relate to michaels dependency issues and overarching positive attitude and love of music, i relate to christines bright disposition and the need to not stick to one set thing? like she loves theater cause she can be sO MANY PEOPLE and like same homie thats why i cosplay. and jeremys need to be likes while also ability to put himself out there is very relatable. i also identify strongly with his dad issues idk idk whats good

Also -- just thank you for how you handled all the panic attack and anxiety attack asks. I used to deal with anxiety attacks multiple times a day and it just was really nice that it was positive and not them having one. Thank you, sincerely. ahhhhhh ur so welcome i,,, have anxiety and it sucks and i deal with panic attacks like everyday at work so i dont really wanna come home and draw someone having one i guess? im glad its helping other people too tho!

Dude- I love your art? Actually so much? It's... I love it. The whole sketch-ish way your art style is, and the way you color, and the expressions! I'm so glad I found your work - you've given me so much inspiration. Keep doin what you're doin and I hope you have a good day! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ANytime any one compliments my expressions i die cause i legit made this blog to help with that as well ,,, like dam

im lvoe ur art style b o i :0 !!!!!!

Mod, I love you so much I love you you have my soul and my love and my eternal gratitude thank you and I love you (This is the guy who was excited about PJ on your ig live stream a while ago and I love you) !!!!!!!!! im so happy u like my content omg and that u like pj im so glad!! shes a good bean

I just wanna say... I'm crying over that post about Michael and his anxiety? cuz I know how it can feel that you're only your flaws and weaknesses, but Michael just tells that to screw off in the most wonderful way and I'm?? thank you so much for that post, I bookmarked it for future times when I can't look past my depression... honestly, that post made my day (along with every other post on this blog), thank you for being such a lovely part of this fandom ,,,, im,,,, im scared of a lot of this fandom tbh but if i can be something good that come out of it and my love of these boys and desire to show them functioning together in a healthy way can help other people its so much more than i ever thought id ever be able to do. i am blown away everyday by the support ive been given on this blog and i might be crying right now because i never thought id be able to touch other people like this and i just. im really glad yall are here with me for all this.

(To the mod: You are a beautiful person that I highly respect. I love this blog and what you set out to do. thanks for giving something that makes me smile and gives me something to look forward to everyday, keep up the good work! ❤ ) hey im still crying from the previous ask aaaaa im honestly so emotional

what are ur true feelings for wendy's??? i fucking love wendys man thats some top tier fast food right there

what fast food restaurant do you think has the best nuggets WENDYS HANDS DOWN

do you have a favorite movie? paranorman makes me very nostalgic and ive seen it like eighty times and used to watch it with my dad a lot and i love it

I would just like you to know that your Wendy's comic prompted me to pull the same thing with a bakery in the town I'm visiting and the baker got so excited and happy, so thank you for making that comic because I made that woman's day. GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE COMPLIMENT ME WHEN IM WORKING DUDE LIKE IM SO GLAD IT MADE U DO THIS!!! IM SMILING REALLY BIG!!

chocolate milk or strawberry milk? or plain? woops i hate milk im so sorry

do u love michael mell with all of ur heart, mod?  i really truly do man what a fucking good ass character

hi squigs i love you! i love your content too and i hope u have a good day pal :>  WHAT A SWEET BEAN!!! THANK YOU?? OMG

I'm just saying that recent ask you did with Michael really hit me hard because I really related to it and I started crying because it made me realize that I've been pining my self worth on everything my anxiety causes and I'm so much more than that. Thank you, so much for that I really needed it because I'm in a really bad place right now. <3 -for the mod i legit cry everytime i get asks or dms like this cause once again the idea that im helping other people is so ovwehelming i love you??? i let myself just be”depressed” for ahwile and by that i mean i just,, let my sadness consume me and i was scared of getting better cause the sadness was all i knew for so long and just. its so easy to think u are ur illness but you are so much more. soooo much more man.

I relate A Lot to Michael so the way you portray him in the blog is really good, and I think it's really awesome you refuse to like?? do terrible stuff and answer bad questions just bc people wanna see that. You run this blog really well 👌  AHHHH THis is the biggest compliment thank u so much ,,, i get real anxious bout this blog soemtiems but then yall send me sweet things like this and its worth it man

Hey mod, just know you're a really cool person. Thanks for running this blog in the first place. Keep doing the great work.  thank you!!!! for ur support!!!! 

not really a question!! i just wanted to say your posts on this blog always brighten my day and you're really an incredible artist and person, keep rockin on my dude!! *clutching my heart* the fuck this is so sweet

1 .I just wanted to say your blog is really awesome! It's very lovely. I also like how you made michael trans and like handled it? (just with how all the characters treat him and stuff its v nice). Your art is super duper! Thanks for running this awesome blog! 2. Hey! This isn't a question but I wanted to say that I appreciate michael being trans!! As a trans boy it's just rly awesome to see something like that casually thrown into an ask blog without making it a huge weird deal :D immm,,, i kinda really love the idea of michael being trans cause a lot of my trans male friends are actually pretty confident in their skin and michael is a very confident character? and u rarely see that with trans representation and its so refreshing to see it portrayed well. im trying to do that here but again if! i do anything wrong let me know!

how did you first get into art? (also i really love your blog, it's amazing!) ive been drawing as long as i remember! ive got mad adhd and wasnt diagnosed until late in ym life so i would just draw nonstop in my classes ahaha i used to read the sunday comics a lot and they really inspired me to try and make comics of my own too!! (and omg thank u) 

someone also asked me if i went to church or was religious but tumblr ate the ask but i used to go to church a lot as a kid but im currently not religious at all aaa

ok holy shit that was a lot but thanks again to everyone i legit cry a lot about how supportive u all are thank u so much aaaa

[zaney-hacknslash]

Hakkai’s Birthday

           Skeptically, I looked at him. “I think this may be a bad idea.”

           Looking more mischievous than usual, Gojyo grinned back at me. “Why? It’s your birthday.”

           “Yes, but consider what happened to you on my last birthday.”

           With a short pause, he rubbed the back of his neck and then admitted, sheepishly, “I don’t remember.”

           “That’s no surprise.” I, of course, remembered clearly, but I decided to exclude some of the messier details, and said, “You drank your weight in hard alcohol, threw up nearly twice that amount—somehow—and passed out in the back yard.”

           “Yeah, because it was your birthday.”

           It bothered me that what I’d just said didn’t bother him in the slightest, so I shook my head, wonderingly, and said, “All I’m saying is that I would much prefer a quiet evening to myself, and perhaps some sake and cards, later, at a more appropriate hour. It’s only just five, you know.”

           Gojyo frowned. “That’s so boring though.”

           “To you, perhaps. To me, it sounds just right.”

           “C’mon, Hakkai, be nice—it’s your birthday.”

           I raised an eyebrow. “So you keep reminding me. Pray tell though, why do I have to be nice to you on my birthday? I should think it would be the other way around.”

           Gojyo shrugged and took a quick drag off his cigarette. “I just mean I don’t wanna fight with you about what happened last year anymore.”

           “Yes,” I smiled. “Losing gets quite tedious, doesn’t it?” I hoped he really would let the issue lie now. Every year he saw fit to harass me on my birthday, ignoring the fact that I’d rather keep to myself. I supposed he failed to consider that, once, I’d had a twin, and she’d been everything to me, and that I’d lost her. How could I possibly enjoy anything even resembling a celebration? Particularly when his way of celebrating was so distasteful to me.

           Trying to sound apologetic, I added, just so he’d really understand, “I’m sorry, it’s just that I’d rather not spend my evening watching you get hammered and then babysitting you through the rest of the night.”

           His otherwise perpetual grin melted at once into a scowl. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

           “Well, it’s just that…if we start drinking now, I’m sure I’ll be carrying you to bed around midnight.” That would be the least of it, I knew. I’d also be holding his hair back while he was sick, and I expected I’d be cleaning up vomit at some point, and frankly I didn’t want to indulge his drunken prattle either, nor tolerate his incessant complaining the following afternoon. I couldn’t even guess how many times I’d have to pick him up off the floor.

           However, I kept those thoughts to myself.

           Just as quickly as it came, the scowl was gone, and the grin was back. “Not if you’re hammed too.”

           “Gojyo,” I sighed, losing patience. “For two years now, you’ve done everything you could think of to get me drunk on my birthday, and for two years you’ve failed. Isn’t that enough?”

           His eyes gleamed with sudden and rather disquieting triumph. “This year’s different, Hakkai. ’Cause I got you a damn sweet birthday present.” And then, with a flourish, he produced a large, green bottle from inside his jacket, and thrust it toward me. “Tah-dah.”

           Reluctantly, I took it and looked it over. “Absinthe Verte.” I sighed and shut my eyes for a long moment. “Please tell me this is a joke.”

           “Nope. Happy birthday!”

           I opened my eyes again to give him an equally long, disapproving look. “Do you have any idea what this even is?”

           “Some western, import thing, right? Cost me an arm and a leg. Check it out though—I’ve heard it’s bad ass: seventy-five percent alcohol. I heard it makes you hallucinate, and all kinds of crazy shit—it’s gotta get even you fucked up.”

           It was very difficult now to keep my frustration to myself, and I knew that meant I absolutely had to remain calm. Still, I rubbed my forehead wearily. Of all the idiotic…

           Forcing a smile to my face, I reminded him, “Oh, but I was so looking forward to the new rice cooker and gardening tools I requested. Weeks ago. When you came hounding me about what I wanted.”

           “What, you scared you might actually get drunk?”

           I hesitated to look the bottle over again. It seemed common enough, with its French label and its thick glass. The graphic of a naked fairy woman winked back at me, simultaneously coquettish and risqué. Still, it had been rumored to drive men mad, back in the day, and I couldn’t deny its potency.

           “Not at all.” I handed it back to him, abruptly, and I could feel the smile threatening to fall jaggedly from my face and collapse into a frown. “I just think this is more along the lines of something you would want for your birthday. So you may as well keep it, and save me some outrageous amount of money.”

           Gojyo looked a bit put-off at being so utterly denied. “Oh, come on, really? You’re not even going to have like a shot of it.”

           “You don’t shotgun absinthe, Gojyo, and no, frankly, I’m not interested.” I said the words, but I couldn’t deny I was curious. If nothing else, it was something I’d never tried before.

           “That really hurts, man. I spent a lot of money on this.”

           I shot him a sharp look. “Don’t try to guilt trip me. It’s not my fault you didn’t listen, or that you spent too much money.”

           Looking half-way to devilish, he smiled again. “Admit it, you’re scared. You haven’t been drunk in years, and you don’t remember what it’s like, so you’re freaked out to try this really cool, foreign, green shit.”

           At that, I couldn’t help rolling my eyes. Here I’d always thought that someone who purchased a bottle of absinthe would be cultured and sophisticated.

           “Well, you don’t want any. Fine. I get it. I’d be scared too if I was turning twenty-two and I hadn’t been drunk in years. But I’m not wasting my money.”

           My stomach tightened with outrage at the sound of his obnoxious tone. That was the voice he always used when he wanted to peer-pressure me, and I hated it, because I could never quite predict whether I was going to give in before he did or not.

           For one thing, in the face of my birthday, with memories of Kanan lingering in my head more tangible than usual, I couldn’t deny abandoning myself to the recklessness of intoxication sounded inviting.

           That was certainly a bad reason to get drunk, so I did my best to stay strong, and I tried not to sound too irritated. “I’m not scared, Gojyo. Not for myself, at least. Though I am a bit nervous about what the notorious green fairy might do to you.”

           “Let’s find out.” Before I could think to stop him, he was popping the bottle open, tilting it back to take a swig.

           My eyes nearly fell out of their sockets. “Gojyo.”

           He made a face. “Tastes weird.”

           “You aren’t supposed to drink it like that.”

           “Who says?”

           “No one. Just culture.”

           “You can though, right?”            “You can, yes. But it’s not exactly the right way.”

           He shrugged. “There’s no wrong way to get smashed. C’mon, man.” He offered me the bottle. “Just live a little.”

           I glared at the bottle, and the flirtatious fairy simpered back at me. Her eyes were green, like Kanan’s.

           Sighing, I took the bottle from his hand and sat down at the table. “I need water, sugar, and an absinthe spoon. Not to mention an appropriate glass.”

           From the grin on his face I could tell he was trying very hard not to gloat about his victory. “What’dya wanna wreck it for?”

           “That’s the right way to drink it.”

           “Yeah, if you’re Earnest Hemmingway, or whoever.”

           I raised an eyebrow at him in surprise.

           His shot up as well. “What?”

           “I’m surprised you know who that is.”

           Gojyo laughed, “I don’t!”

           Sighing, I turned the bottle around on the table in front of me, trying to make sense of the French words, but that wasn’t a language I was familiar with, and I could only make out a handful of them. Of course, the recipe for Hemmingway’s notorious death in the afternoon was on there, but we had no champagne either.

           “C’mon, Hakkai.” Gojyo slammed me on the shoulder. “Let’s get the knot out of your panties—just for tonight.”

           “On your birthday,” I muttered, “we’re going to do what I want to do.”

           And then I tossed the bottle back.

             I stared up at the clock, and its blurry face stared back at me. I blinked, trying to make sense of the time. Next, I stared down at the absinthe bottle, where the green fairy seemed to dance, even though I had thought Gojyo tore the label off long ago. When I studied the fridge, I saw it tacked up there, swaying in a graceful rhythm. Our absinthe was more than halfway gone, but I couldn’t account for where it had disappeared to. I looked up at the clock again, watching the minute hand go around, seemingly backwards.

           “Dude,” Gojyo called. “What’s up?”

           Slowly, I turned to him. There were two of him now, and I didn’t know if I liked that. Two Gojyo’s meant twice as much mess and twice as much chaos.

           “Is it really almost eleven?”

           He twisted around in his chair to face the clock as well. “Tha’s what it says. Hey, you were tellin’ me somethin’.”

           “Where on earth did the last six hours go?” I gazed down at the bottle between us again, scowling at the green fairy, and she beamed, as if she knew where the time and the drink had gotten to, but wouldn’t tell. I still couldn’t understand how she could be in two places at once.

           “We’ve been sittin’ right here.” Gojyo leaned back in his chair, blowing smoke rings. “What were you tellin’ me?”

           “Oh…” I did my best to wade back through my thoughts, but they seemed hazier than usual. “I was telling you about my eighteenth birthday, when Kanan and I went to the… Where did we go?”

           “Some museum.”

           “Ah, yes, the museum.” When I thought back, I could picture that day easily—late September, and the leaves were changing, blowing across the streets of the city. There’d been a distinct scent of fall in the air, and the wind had whipped Kanan’s loose hair. She’d worn her prettiest dress, and I could almost remember the warmth of her hand in mine. “It was the science museum, if I’m not mistaken. We had lunch in the food court there, and then we spent the whole day getting lost in the exhibits. I remember she really enjoyed the animal displays…especially the foreign ones, like the African ones. Do you know how dangerous the hippopotamus is? It’s possibly the most dangerous animal in the world. Fortunately, we don’t have them here. Of course we have plenty of creatures that are terribly dangerous as well. Animals are strange. You know, I think the ones who don’t kill for food—take the moose, for example—are particularly deadly, because when they take it into their head to attack you it isn’t because they’re hungry. A hungry predator might let you go simply because it’s recently made a separate kill, but things like moose and hippos must have some entirely different reason for attacking human beings. It seems they’re simply irascible. If you encounter one, you have such a likelihood of being killed for no particular reason. And on the other hand, there are so many animals that are willing to cooperate with man—such as the Indian elephant, or the camels of the Sahara, and God I’m talking a lot, aren’t I? Why am I telling you any of this?”

           Gojyo burst out laughing. He laughed so hard I worried he’d fall out of his chair. “Damn, dude, I don’ remember! I think I asked ya what your best birthday ever was.”

           “Oh, that’s right. Well, in any case, it was the day at the museum with Kanan. She treated me, of course—she was quite a lady when it came to things like that—she even paid for my lunch and for ice cream from the stand outside. She was a true lady.”

           Picturing Kanan standing out in front of the marvelous museum, indelicately licking a strawberry ice cream cone while the wind tossed her hair and skirt around, made my small heart ache unbearably. I downed another large gulp of absinthe and then blinked at Gojyo. “What about you?”

           “Me?” he echoed, sounding caught off guard.

           “Yes. What was the best birthday you ever had?”

           He chuckled, starting a new cigarette. “Hakkai, ya don’ even wanna know ‘bout that. There’s a ton of sex in that story.”

           “And that’s what made it the best? Obscene amounts of sex?”

           “Unprotected sex,” he added, smirking at me.

           “That’s gross,” I decided, taking another swig of absinthe. It really did taste terrible. I looked around, not for the first time, trying to think of some way to improvise the sugar water I would need to make it right. “This is terrible, don’t you agree? This must be one of the top five most disgusting things I’ve ever put in my mouth.”

           Gojyo grinned, leaning closer, eyes gleaming with intoxication and cheekiness. “Tell me what the other four are.”

           “None of them are what you’re thinking of.”

           He fell back at once, laughing harder than ever. “Hakkai! Shit, man, I wasn’t thinkin’ ‘bout dick! Fuck, you’re nasty!”

           “I said that’s not it.” I frowned at him. “You really can’t listen worth a damn.”

           Ignoring me, he took the bottle so he could have a swig of his own. “For not likin’ it, you’re sure drinkin’ a lotta it.”

           “We’re sharing,” I reminded him. “That’s part of sharing. I drink half, and you drink half. Isn’t that the unspoken arrangement here? If I let you drink any more than that I’ll likely be planning your funeral tomorrow. Though, I suppose planning your funeral will become inevitable, eventually. You act as if you’re determined to drink—or smoke—yourself to an early grave. At the rate you’re going, it can’t be too much longer now. That’s not especially fair, by the way, expecting me to plan your funeral after this lifetime of irresponsibility. If you were really my friend you’d at least attempt to restrain yourself, considering I’ve seen more than enough death already.”

           Gojyo shook his head. “You are talkin’ a lot. Is it hittin’ you?”

           “No,” I lied. “I’m bored. We should go somewhere.”

           His eyes widened. “You wanna go somewhere? At ‘leven ‘clock at night?”

           “What difference does the time make?” I wondered, getting up and walking very steadily to the coat closet to retrieve my jacket. “It’s the weekend, and it’s my birthday.”

           “I thought ya wanted ta stay here.”

           “Staying here is useless now that you’ve gotten me… That is, now that I’ve wasted so much time drinking with you. We may as well go out and see what goes on around here on a Friday night.”

           “See?” A grin slipped slowly across his lips. “I knew you’re my age too. I fuckin’ knew it.”

             Side by side, we clipped through the busy town, surrounded by people—old and young—bustling down the streets, chattering and laughing. Lights flashed and music blared, but I spent most of the walk paying close attention to each and every step I took so I wouldn’t as much as stumble, while Gojyo half-swaggered half-staggered next to me, and by the time I started to notice our surroundings again we’d reached downtown, where the noise and excitement was at its peak.

           “No fighting,” I told Gojyo. “One thing I will absolutely not do on my birthday is break up a fist fight between you and some drunkard—not like last year. Last year, it seemed I was fishing you out of a fight every five minutes. I’m not doing that again. I will stand by and watch as you get your ass handed to you if I must, and I’ll even drag you to the emergency room if I have to, but I’m not stepping between you and someone else’s fist when you try to pick up someone else’s woman. I don’t think that’s unreasonable, do you? I wouldn’t expect you to do it on your birthday. All I’m asking for is a little common courtesy.”

           Instead of answering, he wondered, “Wha’s with the swearing? You never swear.’

           It must be because of the absinthe, I realized, but I wasn’t about to tell him that, so I said, “It bothers me that you didn’t answer me.”

           “Duh. ‘Course, not gonna pick fights on your birthday. ‘Kay? Chill, Kai.”

           I studied him. He didn’t seem all that drunk yet. Yes, he was slurring his words and walking unsteadily, and he had that unquestionably altered look in his eyes, but he wasn’t falling-down-stupid like I’d expected him to be, which made me question, again, where all the absinthe had gone. There was only a quarter of it left, and I couldn’t remember if I’d passed it to him even once on our way into town.

           I hoisted it over my head suddenly to inspect the bottom, thinking there could be a leak. “Where is all this devil’s piss going?”

           Gojyo paused to wrinkle his forehead at me in consternation. “Devil’s piss…”

           “The absinthe, Gojyo.”

           “I know. Jus’ not used ta hearin’ you talk like that. Uhh. What’dya mean? Where’s it goin’… We’ve been drinkin’ it.”

           “Yeah, but…” I paused and started over. “Yes, but I mean… You’re drinking it too, aren’t you?”

           “We’re sharing,” he told me, mimicking my voice and tone. “That’s part of sharing. See? I listen.”

           “You’re insufferable,” I grumbled.

           “I’m tryin’ ta drink it, but you’re bogarding it, man. I dunno where it went. I think ya drank a bunch of it.”

           “Here.” I handed it to him suddenly and tucked my hands in my pockets. It was a cold night, and I wished I’d brought my scarf. “I don’t want any more.”

           Dutifully, Gojyo took a sip and wiped his lips on his sleeve.

           Immediately, I snagged it back from him. “Never mind. I just remembered—if you drink too much of this you’ll ruin my birthday, if you don’t just die.”

             We popped into a club of Gojyo’s choosing. I was so intent on keeping myself under control—watching the way I walked and spoke and moved—I didn’t even notice the name of the place, and the next thing I knew I was standing against the bar, shoulder to shoulder with a sea of strangers, the low lights making every face mysterious, and the music was so loud I had to shout at the bartender to order a martini.

           “Dirty!” I screamed at him, as he cupped one hand around his ear. “Very dirty!” I jerked my thumb at Gojyo. “He’s just having water!”

           Gojyo rammed me with his shoulder, very nearly knocking me off-balance, and growled, “Don’t order for me, dick head!”

           I received my martini and turned to look around the club, desperate for a place to sit, but there didn’t appear to be any chairs at all—it was just a massive dance floor, wall to wall with people grinding against one another.

           “Why are we here?” I demanded.

           Gojyo looked coolly at me through the haze of his cigarette smoke. “Ya wanted ta go out!”

           “Yes, but why here? You know I’m not overly fond of places like this!”

           “I was just cold! What did’ja want? The library?”

           I glared at him. “Why are you fighting with me?”

           “I’m not fighting with you, Hakkai! Drink your fuckin’ martini an’ chill the fuck out!”

           Scowling, I sipped my beverage. I didn’t see how I could chill out at all with all the people jostling against me and screaming in my ear, and the god-awful music blaring, and the flashing lights threatening to send me into a seizure, and Gojyo being difficult.

           Gojyo hooked his arm roughly around my neck. “Dude! Quit frownin’ like that! You’re gonna scare all the chicks away!”

           “Is that why we’re here? To pick up women!”

           “No! I’m teasing you! Chill!”

           Before I could make my response, a woman crawled out of the crowd on the other side of me. She took a moment to hitch up her halter, seeing how she was just about to fall out of it—in fact it appeared to be a size too small—and then she smiled up at me with her ice-white lip piercing and glitter-coated eyelashes. “Hey, there!”

           Immediately, Gojyo took his arm off me and turned away, engaging in conversation with the patron next to him, abandoning me in yet another awkward social situation.

           “Hello,” I said back.

           The woman proceeded to dance next to me, bumping her broad hips against me and pressing in close. “What’s you’re name?” she shouted to be heard over the music.

           “Gonou—Hakkai! Cho Hakkai!”

           That was my name. I’d picked it. Where on earth did I even get it? Destruction, that was me.

           “Hakkai.” She giggled. “I like it! Do you wanna dance?”

           I shook my head. “No, thank you!”

           “Oh, c’mon!” She attached herself to my arm, fingers gliding up my bicep to my shoulder. “Don’t be shy! Dance with me!”

           “I don’t dance!”

           “Sure you do!” She slammed lightly against me, kinetic energy forcing me to sway in what was almost a rhythm.

           “No, really! I don’t! It’s flattering,” I forced myself to add. “Very flattering! But no!”

           She pretended to pout, but her eyes were bright with a hidden smile. “Buy me a drink then!”

           “I’m afraid I don’t—”

           A hulking man emerged from the crowd and stood behind her, bald head looking particularly shiny in the odd light. He had a huge septum piercing and his disgustingly long beard was damp from drinking. He glared down at me, booming, “What’re you up to, punk-ass? Tryin’ ta steal my girl?”

           “No, I—”

           She turned to him. “Oh! Don’t be such a Neanderthal! I was just talking to the guy!”

           “Looks like he’s tryin’ ta pick you up!” he growled, moving in closer to tower over me. “Right, you little shit? Pickin’ up on my girl!?”

           “As I said, no, I was just—”

           “Smart ass son’vabitch!” One meaty hand snagged the front of my shirt, dragging me forward, while the other bunched up and cocked back for a strike.

           I dropped my martini, ready to rip his arm off. My reflexes though. They weren’t as quick as—

           His fist smashed into my face, knocking me back, and the next thing I knew I was slumped against Gojyo, staring up into his screaming face.

           “Hakkai!”

           I felt him holding me up, but I couldn’t make myself move for a few seconds. I counted them.

           One, two, three…

           Gojyo’s eyes flashed and turned dark. He heaved me to the side.

           I made a grab at him. His slick jacket slipped through my fingers as he darted forward.

           Disbelievingly, I watched him knock the huge man’s block off. The brute fell over backward and vanished into the crowd, likely out cold on impact. His girlfriend screamed. The crowd gasped, and everyone around us fell silent. Several more men surged forward—they were dressed as bouncers.

           I got shuffled to the side all too easily and lost sight of my roommate in the chaos.

           Someone gripped my arm. A concerned but unfamiliar face stared at me, yelling, “You okay?”

           I pulled loose and stumbled away, looking around as if I was lost. I felt blood trickling down from my nose.

           What the hell just happened?

           My heart started to race. The crowd was in a frenzy, shoving against each other and screaming, running away and moving in closer, rolling back and forth like tides at the ocean, pushing me out and threatening to drag me back in.

           When I finally had my senses again and was just beginning to charge forward to find him, Gojyo burst out from between the wall of people and grabbed me, shoving me ahead of him through the crowd. “Go, go, go!”

           I heard tremulous voices cracking over the general din. Faces appeared in front of me, staring wide-eyed with gaping mouths, and then disappeared again as I was pushed past them.

           Gojyo propelled me through the exit, out into the dark cold, and I nearly tripped down the stairs. Before I could right myself, he snatched the lapel of my jacket and dragged me around the corner, slamming me against the wall.

           Face full of shock and looking pale in the shadows, he stared at me, cigarette busted in half and hanging from his mouth. I felt him grip both my shoulders. “Hey, you okay?”

           Jerking away from him and cupping my bloody nose, I turned my back to him. Blood spattered the front of my sweater. I realized I was shaking and breathing hard, but I couldn’t understand what happened. I’d just watched that half-wit punch me in the face. How?

           A voice bellowed through the quiet, “Don’t come back, if you know what’s good for you! Fucking gutter trash!”

           “Shit.” Gojyo bumped me with his shoulder. “Let’s get outta here.”

           Taking hold of me again, he led me several blocks away, to a less crowded part of the street, and then paused in an alleyway. “Are you okay?” he asked again.

           I stared down at the puddle of blood in my palm. “That…miscreant hit me…”

           “I saw…” He popped a new cigarette in his mouth and chewed anxiously on it. “Are you all right?”

           Suddenly, I turned on him, shouting, “This is all your fault, Gojyo! I told you I didn’t want to be in there!”

           “Hey, I didn’t know somebody was gonna—”

           “No! But you knew I just wanted to stay home tonight! You knew I didn’t want to drink absinthe and go to a club and get hit on by STD-infested women! You know that’s what you want to do—not me! You’re so incredibly selfish!”

           “Hakkai, woah!” He raised his hands. “I—”

           “What’s wrong with you?” I insisted. “You just had to know what I wanted for my birthday! I told you again and again I didn’t want anything from you, but you kept pushing and pushing, and then when the actual event arrives I find you didn’t get me any of the things I asked for! You give me a bottle of alcohol I never wanted and a bloody nose from a bar fight in a club I didn’t care to go into! Why?”

           “Hakkai—”

           “No excuses, dammit! I understand why you don’t listen to me when I ask you to do something—you’re lazy and immature and stubborn—but why do you just ignore me when I ask you not to do something? Is this funny to you?” I wiped my bleeding nose, suddenly feeling like I just wanted to cry. “Did you just want a laugh at my expense?”

           He stared at me for such a long time I felt sure he wouldn’t have anything to say at all. I felt sure he’d simply turn around and walk away without a single word.

           Instead, he gave a heavy sigh, reached up to unwind the bandana from his forehead, and pinched it to my nose, too quickly for me to stop him, and so gently it didn’t even hurt. He tapped his head against mine. “Sorry,” he husked. “I don’t have an ‘cuse, Sunshine. But I’m sorry.”

           Slowly, I took the bandana from him, applying pressure to the bridge of my nose. It smelled like sweat and cigarettes.

           Suddenly, my head felt light, and everything seemed to spin. I leaned back against the cold wall, murmuring, “Why…does everyone think I can get you to do whatever I want? You’re the one who convinces me to do all sorts of things I don’t want to do.”

           “I know,” he said quietly, lowering his eyes in guilt. “I’ma jerk.”

           My best friend, who’d just demolished a man nearly twice his size like a wrecking ball against a building, for my sake, and who’d given me an article of his own clothing to stop the bleeding of my injury, was not a jerk. He was a lot of things, but that wasn’t one of them.

           I threw my arms around him suddenly, pressing my bleeding face to his shoulder, and he held me up easily, while the world spun around and around. My stomach turned, and my knees buckled with weakness, and he’d never seemed so strong before. “I…miss Kanan…” I grated out, eyes stinging. “Even after all this time…”

           Gojyo squeezed me carefully. “I know, Hakkai.”

           “But I…I would never give you up…”

           “Okay. I’d never give ya up either.”

           Biting back tears, I held onto him all the tighter, and he let me.

           After a few moments, he said, “So…this’s what you’re like when you’re drunk…”

           “I’m not drunk,” I argued into his collar. “I’m just a little…”

           “You’re drunk, Hakkai. Ya drank most that bottle by yourself. I mean, you ain’t human an’more, but you ain’t a machine…”

           “I’ve drank much more than that in one sitting.”

           “Yeah. Like I said though, that shit isn’t like normal booze. Give yourself a break for once.”

           “Fine.” I snorted, standing up again, and the spinning worsened. “I’m drunk. You succeeded. I hope that makes you happy.”

           “Not really. I didn’t know it was gonna be sucha shit storm. Shoulda known…” He gave a sad, wry, little smirk. “You’re a damn mess.”

           Slowly, I looked away, watching the people passing on the street. Some of them gave us strange glances, but they continued to shuffle by, as they always had, not caring about the two of us. “I never thought I would be. I thought I’d be so much more than this.”

           “There’s nothin’ wrong with you, okay? It’s just that ev’rybody can only take so much. An’ you took a lot, Hakkai. That’s all it is.”

           I faced him. “How much more can you take?”

           His already serious expression darkened a shade. “Not much, lemme tell ya.”

           “I’ve always assumed I’d be in a padded room if I were you.”

           Gojyo rolled his eyes. “It wasn’t that bad.”

           “It was though. You—”

           “I’m hungry,” he cut in. “Let’s go get breakfast.”

           I let him guide me out onto the road again, absently dabbing at my nose. “It’s not time yet for breakfast.”

           “Nah, but that’s what ya do when you’re drunk—eat breakfast.”

           “That hardly makes sense.”

           All the same, we walked a few blocks to a twenty-four-hour diner, and by the time we reached a booth in the back corner of the building, we were both stumbling rather badly, and I felt sick to my stomach. I rested my spinning head in my hands while the waitress served us coffee, and Gojyo perused the menu.

           “Why did you let me drink so much of that awful stuff by myself?” I demanded quietly.

           Gojyo lit a cigarette and even ashed a few times before answering. “I was tryin’ ta get ya drunk.”

           “That…is so…uncool of you…”

           “Like I said, I di’nt know it was gonna be like this. I just wanted ya ta forget ‘bout it for a coupla hours… All that nasty shit that happened.”

           “How gallant,” I muttered dryly.

           “Sorry. Really. If I knew you were gonna get all ‘gressive—”

           “I’m not aggressive.”

           “’Kai, you’re ‘gressive when you’re sober. Ya just hide it. Ya hide all kindsa shit. If I knew ya were gonna be ‘gressive, an’ moody, an’ sad I wouldnta done it.”

           I glared up at him. There was three of him now. “As you pointed out, I’m like that anyway.”

           Gojyo nodded, still skimming the menu. “I jus din’t know, ‘kay, dude? I wasn’t tryin’ ta…hurt you.”

           Of course I believed that. Gojyo would never try to hurt me intentionally.

           “Well, please don’t do this again. I don’t like feeling this way.”

           His eyes flickered over the menu to meet my gaze. “I won’t,” he said flatly. “Drink your fuckin’ coffee.”

             We ate our meals in relative quiet, and after I had some food in my stomach I did feel a bit better, so we struck out for home. The walk seemed to take twice as long as usual, and I had to try extra hard not to stagger as we went, so we spoke very little on the trip as well.

           Back at the house, the lights were still on. Apparently I was intoxicated enough that I’d neglected to turn them off.

           Inexcusable.

           I dropped onto the couch, face first, trying to collect myself before going to bed. “When does the spinning stop?”

           “Dunno. Whenever.” He sat down on the floor, leaning back against the couch. “You gonna be okay?”

           “Presumably.”

           “I’m really sorry, man. You’ve never been drunk like this before, huh?”

           “Not exactly, no.”

           Gojyo sighed. “Guess I fucked up your birthday—again.”

           “Your intentions weren’t altogether horrible.”

           “Right… Well, no worries. I won’t tell an’body I saw ya drunk. We can just pretend this din’t happen.”

           “That would be nice, Gojyo.”

           We fell silent again. I tried to focus on sleeping. To hell with shambling my way to bed—I was going to sleep right where I was, with my clothes still on, just like he did all the time.

           When I’d nearly dozed off, Gojyo hissed, “Hey, ‘Kai. You ‘wake?”

           “Mmhm.”

           “Can I tell ya something?”

           “Mm. Sure. Why the hell not?”

           “I lied to ya earlier…’bout the best birthday I ever had.”

           “Oh?”

           “Not ‘cause it was the wrong birthday… It was still that one—with all the nasty sex.”

           “I see.”

           “I lied ‘bout the reason.”

           “Ah.”

           “The real reason…” He took another pause, and I detected familiar insecurity in his tone. “Is ‘cause…when I fin’ly dragged my ass home after all that, super fucked up, feelin’ like a pieca shit, you were there. Ya came to find me. Remember?”

           “I remember I made plans to have dinner with you and you broke them. I went out looking for you so I could give you a piece of my mind.”

           Briefly, he chuckled. “Yeah. That. We jus’ met right? Ya din’t know what a fuck job I am yet.”

           “Goj,” I sighed. “You’re not—”

           “It was shitty. An’ t’night’s shitty. I always do shitty stuff. That ain’t the point. The point is, when ya saw how blasted I was ya din’t yell at me for ditchin’ you. Ya took care of me. Ya din’t even make me say sorry. Ya made me feel like I mattered. And…I dunno… Havin’ all that, for the first time ever, meant a lot to me.”

           I opened my eyes finally to look at him, and he half turned his head to look back from the corner of his eye.

           Quietly, he added, “I always wished I could do somethin’ that awesome for you…but I know I can’t.”

           “Gojyo,” I shut my eyes again, putting my arm around his neck. “Shut up. You do that for me all the time.”

[mikeswheeler]

I was tagged by the lovely @finnxwheeler​ and @jewishstanuris​ ♡

Okay so answer the questions and then tag 8 people!

What made you sign up to Tumblr? HOOO BOI well i’ve been on this site for,,, a long time lmao i signed up with my first account aka my main, personal one in around early 2011 ??? and it was honestly just bc i wanted to see what this site was all about bc i kept hearing ppl talk about it on other sites and reference it and i was like ???? what is Tumblr anyways ?? (like it was all bc of that “What is air?” stuff that was happening and i was so confused bc i was like why is everyone asking about air and then my older brother was like oh it’s a Tumblr thing so i was like what’s that and well,, the rest is history)

What did your blog start off as being? WELL my first account was basically cringe-central, like this was in 2011 so my content was basically Memes and Tumblr-esque inspirational quotes and cheesy, basic lookin’ photography (i was also really into anime and Harry Potter at the time so that was another thing) (oh and for some reason i had a Lolita phase where i was super into that style of fashion) (i was a weeb as a child)

Have you ever received any creepy asks, and if so, what did they say? Ehhhhhh,,, kind of ??? like i’ve definitely gotten a couple that i either wanted to deflect or i just kind of conveniently deleted it from my inbox and pretended it never happened lmao 

Have you ever had a bad experience on Tumblr? All the pornbots like it’S SO ANNOYING ??? AND GROSS ?? it’s especially apparent on my personal blog idk why but i have to block so many at a time smh 

If you had to pick a favourite English monarch, who would you pick? This is like a question i’ve never had to think about so I’m not really sure what to answer... 

Do you prefer hot or cold? COLD COLD COLD i’m also in California though so our cold isn’t like...... unbearable ya know ??? but i can’t stand being super hot and sweaty, it’s so uncomfortable !!! 

Do you have a special skill or talent? UHM I GUESS ACTING ????????? idk i kinda don’t wanna say that bc that’s implying i’m like ‘good’ at or whatever, but i have been in multiple plays/musicals before and even gotten an award for one of my roles so i guess that counts for something !!! 

Do you have a phobia of anything? Tight spaces, spiders (or just bugs in general), the dark, heights, anything medical related so blood and needles and hospitals and what not, aliens/the paranormal/supernatural (it’s not such a wild concept ok like it’s all totally plausible)... uHM yah i’m a big baby about a lot of things 

If you had to pick a favourite real life villain from history, who would you pick? Again, never had to consider this question before in my life so i’m not really sure !!!

Do you have any dark traits?

There are times where i’m pretty withdrawn and moody and easily irritated 

If you could do anything, literally anything, like fly on a unicorn or something, what would it be? 

Is it weird if it’d be something like,,, be cast on Stranger Things ??? like i think i fantasize about being on that show ten times a day, i just...... i really wanna be on Stranger Things gOD IMAGINE HOW AMAZING THAT WOULD BE 

What is the scale of the worst argument you’ve ever had? Slamming doors, raised voices, lots of crying...... fun times !!!

What is your favourite slush flavour? Not really into slushies tbh 

If you could bring back any food or drink from your childhood that has been discontinued, what would it be? DUNKAROOS ????? i feel like any snack from the 90s tho like we just don’t have anything as fun as what we had back then 

What is your favourite and most vivid childhood memory? Nothing specific but i remember playing outdoors with my siblings A LOT like we had a pretty big backyard so we’d constantly be out there, being imaginative and coming up with fake scenarios and acting them out, or like playing with the hose in the summertime or THE POOL omg we had this pool and we’d be in it so much...... also video game battles with my older brother ! my childhood was kinda shitty but at least i have those moments to reflect back on 

If you could bring anyone back from the dead who would it be? My first theatre teacher from high school... he passed away due to cancer around my sophomore year... he was really inspiring to me, i mean he’s kinda the reason why i stuck with that class and didn’t totally give up (thus resulting in me finding out that i love acting and that’s what i wanted to do with my life) 

If you could go back to any time period and live there for a week, which period would it be and why? GIVE ME THE 80′S OH MY GOD my mom grew up in the 80′s as a teenager so i always hear all the stories from her about what it was like and it seemed like ??? so cool ?? especially if you were a teen like what a dream ! give me my 80′s teen movie memories !!!

If you could visit any abandoned place to take pictures, where would it be?

Wow, this is actually a good question....... maybe like a retro arcade or art museum or amusement park ???? i feel like those could make for some Neat Photos (the aesthetic tho)

Do you have any particular, peculiar interests? Hmmmmm psychology interests me ?? i took a psychology class my junior year of high school and it was really fascinating, learning about human behavior and those stories of old psychology experiments (so Wild too like damn, i can’t believe they got away with so much shit back then)

Do you have a creepy/scary experience that has happened to you, and what was it? Not necessarily to me personally like, i’ve heard things before but idk to what extent that could mean so i never really looked Too Much into it bUT UHM i know my family has, especially in my childhood home (that place was straight up haunted like i swear) ALTHOUGHHHHH one night my mom was talking to us about something she saw in her room and all of a sudden a bunch of weird shit started going on in our apartment like our printer kept turning on and off and noises came from the kitchen like a cabinet shutting and things like that IT WAS CREEPY OK 

Do you like/read creepypasta stories? If so, what’s your favourite story? Don’t really have a favorite, but i have read creepypasta stories in the past before - they’re pretty intriguing ! (i’m a total wuss tho!!!! which is why i don’t read enough to have a personal favorite)

If you were in the Wars of the Roses, would you be a Lancastrian, or a Yorkist? Haven’t given this any thought before to decide so I DON’T KNOW !

What is your recurring nightmare? Don’t really have any ????? 

Have you ever had a lucid dream? Nah, because the moment i become aware i’m dreaming and i can do whatever i want, i wake up !!! it’s so frustrating lmao 

If you could go to another planet, which would it be? UHM i just really like the way Saturn looks lmao also Venus bc it sounds Nice but in terms of living conditions, i’m sure none of those are suitable  

What is your religion, if any? Don’t really have one !!!! (in the sense of actively practicing) although my mom is Jewish so i have always felt the most connected to that one 

Have you ever got so drunk, that you did something really embarrassing, and if so, what did you do? i’ve never gotten drunk before so lmao 

Mike, Dustin, Lucas, or Will? THIS IS ???? NOT FAIR ??? THEY’RE ALL MY SONS HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME CHOOSE JUST ONE but fine, i pick Mike just bc i feel the most related to him in the sense of personality traits 

Do you like Marina and the Diamonds? SURE ??? she’s got some good stuff 

Charli XCX? YAH SURE WHY NOT i like some of her stuff !!

Tag a blog that you’ve seen, and you love their posts, but have never told them, and would like to talk to them. @miliebobbybrown HER EDITS ARE ALWAYS SO ??? GOOD ???? her whole blog is total #goals just bc of how Nice everything is like wow i am,,, Intimidated but in the best way possible

Pick one thing you like/love from the 80s. The pop culture :^) (movies, music, fashion...... like wow, i just love it all so much)

What year were you born, and name something cool from that year. 1998 and Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets was published 

What was your blog name originally? (If you had another blog name) This one was originally lifeisdefinitelystrange (rip) 

Do you follow any blogs that you know the user in real life? KIND OF ?? I JUST MET @telekineticeggos FOR THE FIRST TIME IN REAL LIFE LAST NIGHT SO LMAO but we’re also planning on doing more things together in real life in the next few months so YEET 

If you are in the ST fandom, which is your favourite song off the ST soundtrack? Africa by Toto (duh), Atmosphere by Joy Division, Heroes by Peter Gabriel, and When It’s Cold I’d Like To Die by Moby (those last two songs were too emotionally impacting to not name) and from the score itself i LOVE KIDS THAT ONE IS SO GOOD TO ME LMAO but tbh i love the entire score and soundtrack ???? it’s so hard to pick just One Favorite

Finally, give your opinion on the person who tagged you! @finnxwheeler - YOUR WRITING NEVER FAILS TO AMAZE ME WOW ??? i’m always in tears over how flawless your fics are like Whiskey and Broken Hearts destroyed me my dude like oh my goddddd i love your characterization of Mike and Will in all your fics :’) one of my favorite byeler blogs ♡ (also you’re super cool in general like wow what a Neat Person)

@jewishstanuris - I LOVE TALKING TO YOU !!! you’re so nice to me and understanding when i take ten years to reply LMAO also your writing is also super good ??? you should do it more often tbh like i swear you don’t do it enough bc i remember only seeing a few things written by you on here in the fandom buT LIKE THEY WERE SO GOOD AND LIKE ???? DO MORE OF THAT MAYBE ??? another rlly good blog apart of the byeler ship ♡ :’) 

OK SO I’M GONNA TAG THESE GOOFS - @telekineticeggos, @dadharbour, @baileytsample, @elevenknope, @nessa007, @theamiableanachronism, @eggo-my-leggo, and @ghost-grantaire ♡ (obviously you don’t have to do it if you’re not interested or if you’ve done it already!)

[bluestonewings]

tagged by @rik-u​ !!!! woahhh

“KINGDOM HEARTS” SURVEY

PSA I HAVENT PLAYED ANY KH GAMES EXCEPT OF BBS(i’m WORKING ON IT) and KHX SOOOOO

IT GOT REALLY LONG BUT IT WAS FUN!!!

SECTION ONE

1. Your favorite KH guy? UHHH DEMYX, MY WATER MUSIC MAGIC BOY, WHAT A GOOD BOY, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH (i’ve given him such a sad characterization recently i’m sorry), riku(good boy), repliku(deserves better), Zexion/Ienzo(sneaky nerd boy), Zack(he’s final fantasy but i love him regardless), sora(everyone’s favorite sunlight boy), terra(DESERVES BETTER, YOU GO FIGHT THAT DARKENESS YOU), vexen/even(shitty science man), AnsemSoD(best ansem), ISA (A GOOD BOY)

2. Your favorite KH girl? namine(pure), kairi(GIVE ME MORE), xion(good girl), aqua(QUEEN), olette(I LOVE HER), larxene(MMmmmMMMM) jokes on you i love everyone (@ square what is this shitty gender balance you sexist morons)

3. Your least favorite KH guy? Why? Xaldin’s a dickwad and I hate him for bein a lil shit. Dilans’ cool though. Actually Xemnas goes on this list too, screw you buddy

4. Your least favorite KH girl? Why? screw this question >:0

5. Favorite World? (Includes both KH1 and KH2) radiant garden n daybreak town! pretty home worlds

6. Least Favorite World? agrabah probably?? i’m tired of it.

7. Favorite Weapon? (Includes both KH1 and KH2) like,,, a keyblade design or a weapon or a weapon design? Anyway i like the look of xaldin’s lindworms (DRAGON SPEARS), zexion’s indescribable lore is pretty, saix’s gibbous, mickey’s moon keyblade! Also everyone’s alternate weapons in 358/2 are underrated and everyone should check them out!! (I am willing to pay real money to get a guitar shaped like any of demyx’s alternates just fyi)

8. Least Favorite Weapon? why. does. xemnas. have. lightsabers. (personal headcanon they make the ‘vmmm vsshhhhh’ noises when he moves around)

9. Fave. Summon? (includes both KH1 and KH2) *jazz hands* i’ve never played these games…!!! nico used bambi a lot so I’ll go with that

10. Fave. Form? (aka. Sora’s Forms) wisdom!!! i love it when he just zips around and shoots things

11. Favorite Pairing? (includes yaoi coupling) Why? ummm, not much of a shipper but lexvex! a lot of other things as a joke, probably! I’m a liberal shipper. zemyx but like partially as a joke. literally almost anything flies in my book.

12. Least Fave. Pairing? (includes yaoi couples) Why? *deep inhales* anyways if you ship little kids with not little kids you can mcfuck off

14. Weirdest Pairing(s) You’ve Ever Heard Of? @marlushion​ @rik-u​ vexdem??? what???? i was going to say vexen n saix but what???? what?????????????

15. Any “KH-pet-peeves” you have? i’m….. so bad……….. at the actual………….. games………………………. ;-;

16. Fav. Partner in KH? (includes both KH1 and KH2) you don’t get partners in khx but skuld and ephemera are Good

SECTION TWO

17. Do you believe in the Xemnas/Saix theory? whats this theory? I mean Isa got the short stick when xemnas norted him so I don’t really think there’s too much of a choice going on here. anyways xemnas give me back my BOY

18. Do you believe that Zexion is emo? no he’s just a backhanded sneaky little shit who gets screwed over which isnt exactly fair, but not unfair either. I still like him though

19. Do you believe that Marluxia is gay? well personally, i think- oh hey look a butterfly

20. Do you believe that Kairi is the most annoying character in KH? Have you forgotten about the fact that you couldn’t skip cutscenes I think we can forget about characters

SECTION Three

21. If Roxas had to choose either Naminé or Olette, who would you root for? Why? like as a date??? um, olette. why not. go for it my dude.

22. What’s your theory on “Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep?” ITS THE ONLY ONE I’VE PLAYED…. IT’S GOOD SO FAR… TERRA’S GONNA PUNCH SOME THINGS… YEAH

23. Was Chain of Memories a waste of time? I don’t think so? I feel like the plot was kinda shoehorned in but then that means all of KH2 was also shoehorned in so eh

24. If you had the choice of meeting ONE (and ONLY ONE!) KH character, who would it be? Um Terra because I need to tell him I believe in him also he’s so strong and I desperately need a hug. Also to buy him new pants

25. Which KH character do you relate to the most? Why? it’s weird to say but honestly even/by extension vexen?? Like i’m a social disaster and I like science and i have a large fear of being abandoned/forgotten/dismissed and i really really suck at communicating also I’m apparently team mom for most of my friends and i like doing nerd things alone by myself and i just really feel for what vexen has to deal with when he knows that he’s just there to do a single job and he’s disposable and nobody really cares too much for him as a person even if he does also i’d like to not die by rapid combustion/explosion so we both have that in common too ha ha

26. What’s the most embarrassing moment that ever happened to you that had something to do with KH? IRL PEOPLE FINDING MY INTERNET ACCOUNTS IS DEEPLY LINKED TO THE FEAR THAT THEY WILL REALIZE THAT I AM A GAMER GIRL- THE ACTUAL GAMES

27. Have you ever cosplayed as a KH character? If so, who? If not, who would you like to cosplay as? I WANT TO COSPLAY STUFF SO MUCH!!!!! i don’t really know who i’d do though... maybe xion?? I don’t fit anyone very well lmao (i do want to cosplay the two versions of shiki from TWEWY with a friend if that counts)

28. The Funniest Moment in all of KH would be…? sora getting punched in the face in cutscenes

29. The Hardest Enemy/Boss was…? I haven’t fought too many bosses (see: I havent played) but vanitas is gonna be a doozy probably (unless i’m 20 levels overleveled, like now)

30. What was a good addition in KH2 that made it oh-so-addictive? I don’t know what normal KH2 is like but I like the game a ton

SECTION THREE: Decisions, Decisions…Only One…

31. Hayner or Pence? hayner!!! good boy

32. Zexion or Marluxia? zexion. which is funny bc i’ve done marluxia in a finished art project but never zexion... hm.

33. Riku or Roxas? BOTH OF THEM DESERVED BETTER but if i had to pick one.... riku

34. Roxas or Sora? roxas! sora’s a good boy though

35. Axel or Demyx? DEMYX, THE BEST WATER MUSIC MAGIC BOY!!!! LOVE

36. Kairi or Larxene? mmmmMMMM Larxene bc she honestly has more screentime than kairi also she’s just so fiece and mm!!!

37. AkuRoku or SoRiku? *stares, for a long time, at the first one* soriku

38. Namixas or Namiku? Namiku! I think it’d be cute over the course of the year between CoM/KHII

39. Zemyx or AkuRoku? *stares, for a long time, at the second one* Zemyx

40. SoKai or SoRiku? SoRiKai, screw you

41. Sea Salt Ice Cream or Paopu Fruit? Sea salt ice cream! I feel like paopu fruits are really sugary and I like slightly tarter fruits

42. Cloud or Leon? Mmmmmmm Leon

43. CloTi or Clerith? cloud n tifa or cloud n aerith? clerith then

44. Simple and Clean or Passion? PASSIONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

SECTION FOUR

45. List all the KH characters you’ve fallen for. (This includes Final Fantasy characters as well) like, i’d want a nice date with? demyx (my boyyyyyy), ienzo/zexion, Isa’s cute, terra’s HOT (but a dork), but like lets be honest I’d rather be friends with everyone since i’m a nervous wreck

46. What crossovers would you like to see with KH? give me the princess and the frog... it’ll be such a nice culture....and moana.... looking forward to rapunzel and big hero six.... really like to NOT see frozen..... 

47. Does anyone in KH look like another character? List ‘em all! too bad you cant make npcs in stardew valley date each other *small tear*

are you seeing this shit i refuse to believe this was an accident the creator of stardew valley is a 1000000% confirmed KH fan and probably ships zemyx

It’s actually great bc demyx’s counterpart is a guitar music boy as well as a total dork (i love him... so much......) and zexion’s counterpart is an actual emo kid who plays dnd and codes stuff in his basement and likes cool rocks (also love) also his dad is a scientist and his mom is a carpenter so that’s aeleus and even and his sister is kairi now can i interest you in my AU

48. Which new KH game can you absolutely NOT wait for? 3′s the only one coming out? but I’m looking forward to finishing BBS so I can start watching DDD

49. Do you like KH1 or KH2 better? Why? *jazz hands* i have no idea since i’ve played neither, but KH2 lets you see the emo squad so that probably 50. LAST QUESTION! What makes Kingdom Hearts one of the best games in the world!? not the plot, that’s for sure. Probably the characters and just the concept of the entire world, and the worldbuilding behind it! Like I’d love to be in a world with magic and giant keys and stuff. Definitely the worldbuilding

i dunno who to tag! um, @fang11803​ @zexio-n​ @soramizuhara​ (hi!!! you’re new) and whoever else that follows me that likes KH, since i honestly don’t know