#only thing abt my body i would consider plastic surgery for if it were an option

[dykeseinfeld]

my teeny tiny baby hands my fucking behated

[watermelinoe]

Do you think plastic surgery in general is a bad thing for women or are there some gray areas? I've got a friend who wants lipo (who I know has body issue problems) and another who wants a breast reduction. I've made it clear to friend 1 that she doesn't need lipo but idk how to feel about breast reduction. Is it a better surgery because the boobs were negatively impacting your life? Couldn't she argue that having a bit of fat on her body is negatively impacting her?

i feel like i can't be very unbiased here because i had a breast reduction myself almost a year ago and i don't regret it at all. it was covered by my (mom's) insurance, and there were a lot of benefits, some financial, some physical..... and some purely cosmetic.

i specifically went out of state so that i could have a female surgeon, and we talked both about my neck/back/shoulder pain and also about my body image. and like, ngl, my chest looks fantastic now! but more importantly, it is no longer the only thing anyone will ever notice about me and comment on :)) i am finally free :)))

so i mean... it isn't unreasonable to want to be more attractive. feminist ideology doesn't tell us that we're all beautiful no matter what - it tells us that our worth is not derived from our beauty. we aren't born here on earth to be looked at by men and assigned value based on their judgment. it's true that all humans are naturally shallow, and we do prefer attractive faces and bodies to unattractive ones. two things, though: one, good looks are subjective on like, temporal, cultural, and individual levels, and two, we coddle the hell out of ugly men. we put them in movies where beautiful women inexplicably fall in love with them, never the reverse, we put them on television, we put them in government, we let them be horribly unfunny and ugly and still be wildly successful.

if our culture was permeated with overweight, unattractive, unfunny, unlikeable loser women who are always rewarded with the love of a brainless male supermodel half her age, this ask probably wouldn't be in my inbox.

unfortunately.. that isn't the world we live in, especially not as women. our appearance does matter a lot. and plastic surgery can increase quality of life outside of a purely medical metric in some cases. for example, reconstructive surgery for victims of disfiguring incidents. but the industry also feeds off of insecurity and misogyny.

you have to ask yourself, how is this bodily feature harming me? physical pain or health risk, financial burden (do not even talk to me abt how much i used to pay for bras lmao), social burden (do people constantly react to this feature?)

if those issues outweigh the potential risks and consequences of the procedure, then it's worth considering seriously. but imagine if your best friend came to you and said, "i need surgery to fix (your own perceived flaw), it's so ugly," would you agree with her? if not, then you're being unfair to yourself, and that feature isn't the root of your unhappiness.

so i know this was long and rambly and not a particularly feminist take, but i think one thing you can do is give your friends the tools to do that introspection for themselves. i think it's important to understand what your motivations are, and to accept both that appearance is a motivating factor, and that ultimately you will be supporting the plastic surgery industry, good and bad.

[imbruedinfear-a]

@undeadrphub​ asked: ALL OF THEM FOR JAY

🍍  :    how comfortable is my muse in their body? how do they feel about their height,  weight,  strength,  and body type?  how important is being attractive to them? 

this man would kill to be taller in .0002 seconds if he could. he was bullied for his height, bullied for being severely underweight, bullied for feminine hips, for.. literally anything. he hates it all. as an adult, he’s managed to pull himself out of the underweight category, but it’s solely from muscle. he’s still incredibly thin and small, just as he’s always been. you can’t get him to be comfortable without an oversized hoodie to hide in. he vaguely cares about being attractive, but it’s more ‘i don’t want them to be embarrassed to be hanging out with someone as fucking ugly as i am’ than anything else. if he’s not working or going out with people, he won’t even think of trying to improve appearance.

🍅  :    how does my muse feel about plastic  /  cosmetic surgeries   &   procedures?  is it something they have done or would do?  do they mind if others do it? 

dislike. who the fuck cares about their appearance that much? granted, he’s had a nose job, but it was so he could still fucking breathe rather than cosmetics. he won’t dislike you as a person for it, but he’s going to instantly find you unappealing. it just bothers him for some reason.

🍏  :    how stable is my muse’s physical health?  do they go for regular or semi-regular checkups by a physician?  do they have any diagnosed illnesses and / or take any medication?  how often do they get sick?

stability whomst? he has two modes of health: sick once a year or sick every other week. it depends on how much food he’s been eating and whether or not he’s blown food money on beer. fuck doctors. his overall health is fucked. doctors cannot explain why he doesn’t have x problems and how he’s even still alive after all of the beatings he’s had, especially when it comes to the brain damage. he has seizures, sometimes an arm will stop working for a bit, sometimes he can’t hold anything, sometimes he’ll have a burst of amnesia. he’s a medical mystery to the point there are literal scientific articles on his case, and 98% of the time if he lands in the hospital for something they’ll just shrug it off. it’s gotten to the point he’ll break bones and still not go, because he learned how to fix that fucking problem himself when he was like 12.

🍎  :    how stable is my muse’s mental health?  have they been diagnosed with any mental illnesses and  /  or conditions?  do they have any undiagnosed mental illnesses and  /  or conditions?  do they or should they attend therapy? 

:^) he’s gotten away with murder ( though it was self-defense ) through the insanity claim, which is actually really fucking hard to use. that should give you an idea of his scores on mental exams. but again, he has brain damage, and every single psych he’s ever interacted with has mentioned that they can no longer determine what’s an actual mental illness or what’s just his brain being physically unable to function correctly. he’s never been to therapy, but he’s been tested several times. his scores changed every time, for every section. the only thing anyone’s certain on is PTSD. Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder, General Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder, and Schizophrenia have been heavily considered, but even professionals argue with each other. he’s a medical mystery even in mental health. he needs therapy, but his disorders make him extremely avoidant of it. that is not to say everything i listed is true, nor is it to say there isn’t anything unlisted here.

🍑  :    how meticulously does my muse look after their physical appearance?  do they spend a lot of time on their hair,  makeup,  grooming,  and clothing?  is there a particular reason why they do or don’t?  

oof. how anxious is he? if he’s anxious, he’ll fix himself 1000x times. if he’s not doing anything special, he’ll walk out the door without a second thought. he doesn’t spend a lot of time on anything, but he does make sure he’s well groomed and put together. it should be noted, though, he doesn’t look in the mirror. his own apartment doesn’t have one, and he avoids public restrooms like the plague. his own reflection is a fucking trigger. this is probably why his eyeliner is always smudged.

🍒  :    how much does my muse value companionship?  do they constantly keep people around them,  or do they prefer to be alone often?  do they have or desire to have many friends?  do they see every meeting as an opportunity to make a new friend?  

confusing as fuck. he’s lonely as hell and constantly wants to hangout with people, but he also will have periods of avoiding them like the fucking plague. he loves hanging out! he fucking hates being out! who knows! for the most part, he has a lot of friends in a lot of places and will gladly drink with any group of strangers, but he’ll yeet the fuck out if you try actually getting close to him. he’s alone, always, at home and only around people when working or getting fucked up. having other people around too often, like a roommate perhaps, will make his mental health act the fuck up.

🍇  :    how would my muse describe their childhood?  how much has it impacted the person they are now,  or will become as an adult?  around what age did they or will they start to mature,  and why?  do they wish to go back to their days as a child,  or have they embraced adulthood? 

in his words, it was a great big pile of horseshit on fire. he literally has brain damage from it. he can’t leave his own room without convincing himself it’s going to be his living room, not his childhood home, and sometimes he’ll open the bedroom door and see his father standing there, and then he’ll fucking yeet back into bed. obviously it’s impacted him just a smidge. definitely not full of self-hatred and constantly fighting himself to do shit he likes, absolutely most definitely not traumatized in a million forms and continues to trigger himself because how the fuck do you go about your day not panicking half of the time. IN OTHER WORDS, he was a fucking parent to his brother when he was only 4, he would rather die in the most slow, most painful death than return to childhood. is he even still alive bc he doesn’t know

🍐  :    how intelligent is my muse overall?  are they smarter than the average person,  or less than?  are they primarily self-taught,  or did they acquire most of their knowledge in school?  are they more street smart or book smart? 

if you knew him before his skull was caved in, you would call him a freak for how fast he could think and solve problems. he was the type of genius you’d only heard about in stories, and he pissed off his teachers because he never even needed to be taught. show him the super simple problem once and he knew how to do everything for the next three weeks. he grew up on the streets and read shakespeare for fun. he lost it all. it now only shows rarely, on really good days, when the stars want to align.

🍉  :    which of the four seasons suits my muse best,  and why? 

summer. he literally lived outside most of the time since he was a kid, and summer nights were easiest. outdoor concerts, parties late at night, cookouts and campfires. he also loves storms.

🍌  :    is my muse inclined to help others,  or will they only do it when it benefits them,  if at all?  what makes them this way?  has it ever gotten them into trouble,  or inconvenienced them?

which personality is showing most at the time? he’s gotten accused of rape for helping a woman once. let that sink in. but also, he’s helped so many people he’s protected by half the city’s underworld. who knows.

🍊  :    does my muse desire romance?  is it something they would actively seek out,  or prefer to happen more  ‘ ��naturally?  ’  what is their love life like?  do they have any exes or past flings,  or crushes? 

o k a y listen. these r getting too hard i literally don’t know ok can i asked which disorder or which personality is showing most at the time for this bc IT CHANGES like everything always does. mostly, he’s,, weird. he actively seeks it out in the sense he’ll go on dates regularly, but he’s not actually trying to find a girlfriend. he’s carefree. also traumatized. really wanted romance until his heart was ripped to shreds and now he’s convinced himself he’s not lovable, too complicated, extremely undesirable, and especially undeserving of it. he won’t let it happen. no one should have to suffer by having to deal with him. if you’re including things that were just for fun and both parties knew it wasn’t serious, he’s had a few girlfriends. if we’re only including serious things, then he’s only had (1) serious boyfriend. They were together for nearly two years, and they split solely because Jeremiah a) didn’t want sex as much and b) didn’t want to try any kinks. def no trauma from that, absolutely doesn’t panic abt not being good enough or wanting it enough or being pleasing or being fun or attractive or too scarred. nope. also totally doesn’t do shit he doesn’t even like / triggers him just bc they want it gotta give it to them. perfectly fuckin’ fine after one relationship.

🍓  :    how is my muse typically seen by others?  does it ring true to who they really are?  does their reputation matter to them? 

our options: 1) aggressive 2) smooth n flirty 3) soft n adorable. he is all of the above. if you’re from the city and connected to the drug world at all, there’s a big ass chance you’re aware he was a major dealer at one point, the son of a psycho serial killer, and connected to damn near every gang in some way. there are few people who would be stupid enough to hurt him, just because there’s probably some member somewhere who’s going to get revenge for it. his rep is pretty positive if ur aware he basically turned the outskirts of the city from a shithole to a really good community. otherwise, u probably just think ‘criminally insane deliquent’. he doesnt rly care about it unless u start asking about his fucking dad.

🥝  :    does my muse have any  ‘  unusual  ’  habits, interests,  and  /  or talents?  do they hide it,  or are they proud of it? 

b r u h i dont fuckin know im skipping this one, he’s just obsessive compulsive about the oddest things

🍋  :    what kind of diet does my muse have?  do they eat regularly,  or the standard 2-3 meals a day?  do they have to be reminded to eat,  or are they likely to remind others?  do they cook,  or have others cook for them?  do they eat healthily,  or not so much?  

no diet. no food. eat if money, starve if none. remember to eat who?? o u mean eat everything. who fucking knows. he can cook really well, sometimes, maybe. pizza and taco bell 4 life. fuck vegetables. fruits are delicious and to be treasured. he mostly eats like shit, if he eats at all.

🥭  :    how important to my muse is their hometown,  or where they’re from?  are they proud of it,  or considered a hometown hero? did they move away,  or do they wish to?

none. no fucks given. still here bc no money to move. would happily fuck off to Paris or something.

[nonbinary-support]

Hey so I was wondering if I could have someone who has had experience with top surgery explain the hardest part about before or after? I'm considering it but I've never gone to surgery before and it's a bit intimidating. I've looked at the potential health concerns, like side effects of anesthesia and infection, but I'd like to hear it from someone who's gone through the process and what it was like afterward.

theres really not much to it. if you can give me specifics on what youre worried abt or wondering i can answer that

i went in and waited in a lobby and then was called in. i went into this bay area that had a bunch of hospital beds separated with curtains. they gave me a plastic bag with a gown and socks and hairnet and i went into the bathroom and changes and put my normal clothes in the bag for later. try to tie the ties well because my back one undid and my (underwear-covered thank g-d) ass was hanging out.

then i chilled on the bed till it was time and i walked into the room. they didnt wheel me. oh yeah at some point in between changing and going in they put in an iv but it was either just fluids or nothing hooked up then.

so i walked into the room, the nurse/assistant and i talked about greys anatomy, and i hopped up onto a metal table lol. there were arm rests but she hadnt moved them yet for me to put my arms on them so i just held them up. she put the Sleepy Meds into my iv and i didnt know they would work so fas because i dont remember stopping talking but i must have because next thing i was waking up back in that bed in the bay. i think i could tell time had passed like when you go to sleep and wake up you know times passed it doesnt feel like the same moment.

i guess i had been in and out for about an hour but i had no memory of that. they brought my mom back in after like maybe 10 or 15 minutes. they gave me water from one of those small bottles with a straw. i put a big button down shirt on and my pj pants back on.

i think they wheeled me in a wheelchair out to the car. it was a little hard to get in bc i was worried abt everything. i kept the bottle but they didnt give me the straw but fyi thats a good combo i drank like that for the week. i put a pillow between my chest and the seatbelt.

the only bad parts were that i was really rally itchy. i didnt realize you could be allergic to codeine and have that manifest as super intense horrible itching so i thought it was just normal itching. nope i was allergic. pro tip read the surgery packet well that was the one thing i missed and it was the first thing on page 1 lol.

after that things were a lot better. the binder wrap thing ended up digging into my back and armpits really rly bad and even making me bleed so we got gauze and padded it. backscratchers down the back are a life saver.

yeah the whole time i was on a bunch of meds, the codeine, tylenol, benadryl, and eventually claritin. each time i stopped a medication i thought my headspace was normal again but it wasnt until i was off everything. bc of the codeine i was up itching non stop like in the middle of the night and stuff. that was the worst part it was so bad. it went away within a couple days after stopping though once we talked to my surgeon.

i didnt have drains and that made it a lot easier and less painful i think.

oh yeah the other worst part was once i got the binder off and had to do my nipples, which i did like an hour before we were meant to leave for the airport. apparently im not good with that stuff because i vomited and passed out (fainted? the difference?) and that kept happening so my mom had to do that for a while for me.

in terms of pain and like, your body just got cut up and sewn back together, it was rly pretty fine for me. everything that sucked was just medicine side effects and being stuck in a binder for a week and having limited mobility. the twinges when you start getting feeling back kill but those are short and i cant remember if they started before or after i went home.

but yeah lmk what more youre interested in bc this probably wasnt it haha but this is what i wanted to know going in

-emma