#only the REAL monster fuckers know what im on abt

[scatmaan]

ethel is such a silly goose ;)

[sanchoyo]

keep having fucked up nightmares but sometimes I can lucid dream in only its like. semi-lucid dreaming. like i can rationalize stuff to a Point but not quite enough to have FULL control, just like. feelings abt things that influence dream me into doing stuff.

so the other night I had a dream a monster was circling a house in a field that we'd moved into, that had cow pastures around it and a dirt road and stuff, very In The Middle Of Nowhere type place with no way of calling for help. and I could see this Creature Thing circling thru the windows and looking in at me, and kept getting increasingly scared bc whenever id try to tell ppl abt it itd be gone when they looked.

my sister calmly walks me out of the house to look for it to show me its not real ig. and at this point im getting Actually Mad instead of scared bc its making me look like im a liar or imagining things so when I see it yards away standing Ominously In The Dusk at the end of the dirt road, instead of running away or back into the house, i BOOK IT TOWARDS IT SCREAMING. FULL OF RAGE. esp bc when me and my sister had been walking around the house lookng my shoes had filled up with pebbles and the sensation was actually rage inducing LMAO

and my dream insult to this horror beast?? i said 'im gonna rip ur head off and dribble it like a basketball when i catch you you FUCK' AND IT. RAN AWAY. FROM ME. and then I saw one double the other ones size and ig i assumed bigger=the other ones mom?? so I ran up to IT still SUPER mad ranting like 'you nEED to control your child do you know what its been doing?? lurking and being scary?? its been scaring the cows!! do u know cows?? like MOO???' bc I guess I wasnt sure if they could even understand me. and after i started angrily mooing at this fucker I woke up 💀

[commander-snacks]

What do you find most endearing about the Noble? (Physically or generally)

OH!!!! i hope youre prepared for a huge wall of text an images i have so many Thoughts™ abt him

ok reasons why are under the readmore

Generally:

-I love how elegant and strong he is. He moves so quickly and lovely like a dance while also executing a raw strength you can practically feel through the screen

-He and other nobles must have successfully killed a god once, if not many times. His sheer ancientness and power is rly somethin //_//

The nobles possess skill with the sword unmatched by any lowborn. Despite its size, successive attacks from this weapon are swifter than the eye can follow.

----

Once a sign of the gods' wrath, this incantation became a trophy of the Nobles' god hunt.

-His face i feel says a lot about him. his gold-n-grey eyes suggesting he somehow still has some holiness in him, the heavy bags under his eyes, his anger lines, the serious yet forlorn expression

-I quite enjoy spooky culty characters, so it really goes without sayin. The fact that said cult has such fascinating lore also is a plus and reeeally makes me hope we learn more about it (and him)

-The way I headcanon his personality, a dead serious and angry guy but will express gentleness to only certain people(me), is very dreamy IMO. I know it aint canon but it feels so real in my brain ok. I feel he can Protect

-he just looks sooo so tired and god i wanna treat him right

-SLEEPY BOY!!!

ojh so sleepy why you so eepy bby???????? lseepy zzz zz snooze bbbbybybybyby oh my gog

Physically:

-I cannot deny I have a thing for big big boys. and oh BOY is he big big

LOOK AT HIM!!!! His foot is bigger than my torso. His arm is longer than my whole body.

-I like that he isnt quite human, but just a human-shaped monster. It makes him quite mysterious but also hot cuz *holds up monster fucker license*

-While we talking abt his monstery nature pls look at his tail i love love love his tail so much its so pretty and i love how nicely it animates in battle

-HIS BIG BIG HANDS I WISH FOR HIM TO HOLD ME not to mention how he moves them so elegantly

-His face is the most handsome thing I have ever seen in my life idk how to explain it. Its like whoever modeled him was summoning the spirit of an ancient greek sculptor trying to capture the beauty of an angel

-Even if the robes arent part of his body(which I think isnt correct I think its very much a part of his body because he can control it, hitting it hurts him, and the fact that he can assimilate inhuman physiology but iM GETTING OFF TOPIC) he is still a big fuckin guy

-his voice is hot and I hope we hear more of it someday

-His....special abilities. you know what Im talking abt

-DID I MENTION HOW BIG HE IS

[mccnyoongi]

fic teaser ⇢ buttercup

⇢ pairing: yoongi x fem!reader

⇢ genre: smut + slight angst

⇢ au: college!au, fwb!au, stoner!yoongi, asshole!yoongi, fwb to lovers trope

⇢ expected word count: ~10k

⇢ warnings: smut, kind of a slowburn, recreational use of drugs & alcohol, dirty talk, degradation, ridiculously excessive use of pet names, fingering, lots of casual sex talk, reader and jimin are slutty besties, dom!Yoongi, cursing, unprotected sex, semi-public and public stuff, slight dumbification (whoops), hair pulling, breathplay, reader has a thing for Yoongi’s hands because who doesn’t, reader and yoongi are both sarcastic and oblivious, etc. 

⇢ official release date: september 4th 2019, 10:45 pm est !!

⇢ synopsis: Min Yoongi wears leather jackets, fucks you like he hates you, spends most of his days on the wrong side of a blunt, and calls you the sweetest names when no one else is around. And you definitely aren’t falling in love with him.

⇢ author’s note: here’s the teaser for my first fic !! thank u for all the love from posting my first drabble to the announcement of this fic <3 im super excited abt this and all the future pieces ive been planning

If there was a magic lantern hidden somewhere on the campus of this university, you’d find it and your first wish would be to make it so that no one found out about this whole illicit affair you’ve been having with Min Yoongi. The secrecy was fun, sexy like you guys had a whole Mr. and Mrs. Smith thing going on. Or something. Your second wish would be to make his dick vibrate. 

But then he just had to go and go down on you in a bathroom during a party at the Beta Tau Rho house, not even a month into the fall semester, knowing you wouldn’t be able to be quiet or subtle at all. And he was so smug about it too, the fucker.

You can still feel the embarrassment buzzing under the surface of your cheeks from when you walked out that bathroom door and a dozen frat boys and mutual friends of yours and Yoongi’s were out there, waiting for the two of you to emerge and giving you a round of applause when you did. Yoongi had just laughed and rolled his eyes before leading you to the kitchen to get the pair of you some drinks. He’s always been particularly good at brushing that shit off of his shoulder. You aren’t, but you’re pretty good at pretending.

Maybe you should have ended it all that night. Of course, you didn’t. You figured, hey,  you’re young and in school so fuck making good decisions. Of course, the fact that no other guy has ever been able to dick you down nearly as well as Min Yoongi can is probably a huge contributing factor. 

Sure he might be grumpy, and sarcastic, and he tries way too hard to look cool and nonchalant, but he’s also the first guy to ever make you squirt. And you’re pretty sure that the way he waxes poetic about your pussy would make even Shakespeare swoon. So maybe the pros outweigh the cons, but only just.

“I can’t believe you’ve been getting Yoongi dick for almost three full months and haven’t divulged every single detail and vein to me, you cold, uncaring bitch-” Jimin’s voice is far too loud for the student-run coffee shop the two of you regulared every Sunday; a tradition that Jimin always insisted upon. He loves his traditions almost as much as he loves destroying any personal boundaries between the two of you.

“Keep going Park, see if I ever buy your coffee again.”

“Don’t change the subject,” You can’t say you’re surprised that Jimin is reacting like this. Self-proclaimed ‘disaster bisexual,’ Jimin was one of the very first friends you made back when you were a shy, barely functioning freshman. 

He actually introduced you to all his frat brothers, and a large number of the people you now call your friends. Including Yoongi, whose dick seems to be a reoccurring topic between you and… most people you know. Even if they weren’t at that dumb party, Jungkook made sure that every living being that stepped onto campus was aware of the newly found out fuckbuddies.

“We don’t keep anything from each other, Y/N,” He’s whining over his coffee now, full lips perched in that pretty pout that he regularly uses to his advantage. “I even told you about that time I puked on Namjoon’s dick in our second year!”

“Mmm, and I wish you hadn’t told me, Minnie-” The visual still haunts you, but Jimin has never had any predilections when it came to oversharing, especially not with people who have the misfortune of being his best friends. “‘Sides, I didn’t figure it was important, the whole Yoongi thing-”

“His dick, you mean.”

“Because it’s not like we’re getting married,” You carefully ignore him, a useful habit you’ve picked up three years into being his friend. “Just sex, remember?”

“So fucking what? You told me how you sucked Jeon’s cock in a movie theatre less than twelve hours after it happened-” You take a large gulp of your own iced coffee to busy yourself when the shameful memory is brought up. Not shameful because of the promiscuity of the act, no you’re an adult, thank you very much, but rather because of the boy you performed them on. Jeon Jungkook is now more of an annoying younger brother to you than anything. Not to mention he’s got a giant mouth that couldn’t keep a secret even if it killed him.

“Jesus you could’ve picked any other example-” You groan out as Jimin smirked, receiving the exact reaction from you he wanted. You think you’d have learned by now. “I’m sorry, okay? You big baby.”

“Hey, you’re on thin ice,” He points an accusatory finger at you and you have to fight the urge to smack it out of your face. “Now you have to make it up to me.”

You sigh- Jimin can really be exhausting when you’re only half a medium coffee in. “And how do you expect me to do that, Park.”

“Dick details, fucking obviously,” He says it like you’re a moron for even asking. And maybe you are. “Well details in general, I guess. You know, the basics; length, girth, does he make you call him daddy, is he good- I mean he must be un-fucking-real if you’ve been bouncing on it for three goddamn months, you whore.”

“I’m not giving you measurements, Jimin, I’ve yet to take a tape measure to it- and stop assuming everyone has a daddy kink just ‘cause you do.”

“Okay, vanilla bitch. You’re lucky I already know he’s got a monster cock from that time he streaked at that post-mid-term party next year.”

“Then why’d you even ask?”

“To see if you’d tell me the truth. It was a test and you failed.”

“I may be a college student but you’re gonna have to threaten me with a little more than a failing grade to spook me,” You roll your eyes playfully- there’s no real threat in his words, there never is.

“You’re right, I’m sure you’d much rather be punished by Yoongi, huh?”