#only made sense for me to gif your other bias for you next

[cosmicdreamgrl]

taehyung x season's greetings 2022 🔮 for @taehyunghobi [ cr : namuspromised ]

[kiefbowl]

I was reading an opinion piece on Kate Middleton's cancer diagnosis on CNN by Jamal Baig about the increasing rates of cancer in patients under 50. As far as 5 minutes of googling and JSTORing can lend me to believe, there's nothing illegitimate about Dr. Baig. However, I found this bit in his opinion interesting:

Now, I'm always dubious when reading anything that attributes a very broad generalized idea that changes in diets have caused an increased in cancer, because more often than not it's not pointing to an exploration of, say, increased pesticide use, but the author's personal bias against the quote unquote "unhealthy", especially those who are deemed "fat" by the medical industry.

That being said, I was curious what source he linked, half expecting it to lead to just another op-ed from some other doctor from who knows when, but I was pleasantly surprised! Written by a man named Michael Donaldson, it was an evidentiary review published in a scientific journal called "Nutrition and cancer: A review of the evidence for an anti-cancer diet."

Now I wasn't going to give the whole thing a read, but I stopped in each section, gave a quick skim to get a general vibe, moved on to the next section, etc. I was immediately suspicious that the very first line in the abstract was "It has been estimated that 30–40 percent of all cancers can be prevented by lifestyle and dietary measures alone" as that seems to be a bananas statistic to just posit, but it still had the air of scientific integrity, so I did my skim.

The first handful of sections had things that gave me some moments of pause, that this article was in fact another doctor simply cherry picking data to confirm his own biases, but nothing so egregious as to do a spit take. That comes in a few minutes. The first section that made really go hold the phone was when we got to his Flax Seed section.

Compare how he writes about Red Meat...:

(that's all he wrote, btw)

...with how he starts writing about Flax Seed:

Did I just enter a Flax Seed commercial? Does this guy work for BIG FLAX SEED? on and on he writes about Flax Seed, and I start getting a sense that perhaps this man has a Flax Seed Agenda. In any case, he eventually moves on and I quickly skim to get to the end (because it's boring among other things).

So, who exactly is Michael Donaldson?

Girl are you kidding me

The Hallelujah Acres Foundation is a FOR PROFIT company that sells a """biblical""" based diet program called the hallelujah diet and also sells supplements on said site.

Now, in case you forgot where I started with this, this was the link provided as a "source" to a legitimate doctor's claim in an op-ed about cancer that "at least part of the answer" of why cancer is increasing in under 50 patients are the "changes to nutrition and lifestyle that took hold in middle of the last century." Dr. Baig did not read this article, or if he did was not concerned that it was written by the employee of a company that profits from unscientific research it uses to sell supplements and diets. Which is worse, I don't know.

The point I'm making is that you absolutely need to be vigilant all the time. You need to understand that doctors can not only have biases, but agendas. Researchers can have biases and agendas. Scientists can have biases and agendas. And that magical thinking about real health issues that can affect your future can permeate the scientific community because weirdos write convincing enough evidence that support their already determined world view.

This kind of shit is the reason why women go into doctor offices complaining about pain in their abdomen and get told to go lose weight and come back in 6 months. This is why ideas like moralizing eating have huge effects on women's health and influence medical misogyny, and why it's a feminist issue.

[overtaken-stream]

α!Gagamaru Gin x Gn! β!Reader headcanon

Omegaverse is my guilty pleasure don't @ me.

Warnings: Gagamaru is a bit weird, Silly even(he's insane)

There is always that distinctive scent lingering on you, the smell that you try to explain but your vague ability stops you from pointing it out precisely. It must be strong if your nose can pick it out. So misty, cold, and incredibly familiar. No matter how many times you wash the school uniform and scrub your skin red, it comes back the next day, at what time you can never point it out, however, it's evident that it's from school.

Gin is all-natural through and through (except when it comes to his hair), and the perfumes often irritate his sensitive nose, same with sweet-smelling shampoos and body wash, he believes that they are artificial smells that stain people's true character, he has also found that those who use fake odors have many insecurities to hide, be it their second gender or their natural aroma is an unfavored one in society, it does not bother him, but he has never favored deceit. Gin believes that his smell is quite pleasant, probably influenced by all the time he and his family spent hiking when he was a pup. It reminds him of the scent of rain, petrichor was what the doctor called it when he presented. A compliment that his brain only remembered because of the correct adjective used to describe his recently discovered asset.

He remembers it all too well, the overwhelming mix of raw and false fragrances in his middle school class, packed in a classroom with no windows open. He couldn't help the scrunched nose showing on his face every day, trying to find clean air to breathe without the biological chemicals burning off his nose, for the first time in his life, Gin could clearly express his emotion all thanks to newly flowered instincts and his personal preference. It was a shame it had to be distaste. As a pup, he dreamed of having long limbs to hike with, cross the rivers, and climb on rocks without his father helping him, but if this is what it's like to be a grown-up, smelling all the smelly smells that smell bad or good, he would rather be a pup forever.

His keen hearing and eyesight are no match for his sense of smell, but now he could pick out his parent's residual odor on the school campus, hours after they've left.

Maybe it was his bias that made him favor Betas more than Omegas and Alphas, the natural and soft undertones in a society full of suffocating chemicals were liberating for Gin.

His nose was able to smell the uplifting aroma that you contained, weaker than ever hidden behind countless scents. It stayed like that between you and Gin, him enjoying your smell from the other side of the classroom while you took notes and never glanced in his direction, your nose is weaker than others, never truly being able to sense the intense pheromones swirling around.

His communication is not the best, however, he does not care enough to improve it anymore. Some view his nonchalant attitude and simple words as a negative trait. He wonders what you will think of it.

With a bag tossed over your shoulder, you stroll the chilly hallways, getting closer and closer to your destination. But just as you are about to grab ahold of the handle to open the door to the classroom, it harshly unlocks itself. An unexpected occurrence makes you softly jump on your feet before even noticing the figure standing on the other side, staring down at you with a curious tint in his round eyes, he casts a shadow on you.

``Oh I'm sorry, I didn't expect anyone...`` He says.

``It's okay...`` There is not a lot to say about him, even if you are his classmate, you don't know much about him and are not planning on knowing. As you make room for him to pass, you can feel his shoulder press against yours before he finally frees the entrance and walks away from the class. It was a confusing experience, but nothing to note of.

Gin figures that his favorite activity is scenting, his mother and his father were the first people he tried to scent, and kept their scent on him as an eleven-year-old pup up til the last year of middle school.

He is aware that leaving his pheromones on your clothes isn't the best strategy, but neither is leaving his scent on your skin while knowing nothing of you. He hopes that maybe he can change that, perhaps you will recognize that the cold smell comes from him.

Gin is a person who listens to his instincts, it's a skill needed for his beloved hobbies, however lately as you come to school without his scent, the active feeling of annoyance is hard to miss, he wants nothing but to drag you into his bed and cover you with himself, until your nose smells nothing but him on you the whole week, til someone can't differentiate Gagmaru from you. Gin wants nothing but to become one with you in those mornings. It's a shame he can only touch a part of you "accidentally" for it.

He wonders if his scent ever comforts you.

Gin will always find a way to scent you no matter what, so you might as well stop trying to clean it and start seeking him out since he is the only one whose scent matches with the one clinging to you.

The nonchalant alpha has never taken any bait thrown his way, so when his classmates start looking judgemental of his actions, Gin never remembers their words, he has already answered them once and Gagamarus don't like repeating themselves.

Maybe that's how you got to the bottom of your situation, rumors and rude words about him flying through the school until they finally got mingled with your name. So that's all he had to do to make you approach him? Hmh.

You speak so calmly when he left no roundabout way for you and made you go straight to the point.

You ask him to stop scenting you?

He likes you, maybe even loves you.

You don't believe in love at sight?

That's okay, he'll make you believe it.

The next day he puts his plan to work and brings only the best snacks for you to enjoy during lunch. Try to be nice after all, it's his first time courting someone.

[arsonkoobi]

taekooker to jikooker: my personal experience.

this is merely how i felt and all the things i saw while being a hardcore taekooker for almost a year and a half. if you get offended, im sorry but the unfollow and block button is right there, i dont mind. i love taekook themselves, but i can no longer look at them in the way i used to. now they genuinely look like best friends to me. people change, and their perceptions and views on different aspects of life change. thats what happened to me.

I first joined this fandom 5 years ago in mid january 2018 through my friends. taehyung was my first ever bias, so most of the bts related yt recs i had were mostly of taehyung and ot7, and occasional ship videos among which taekook was the most prominent. me being a curious lil unsuspecting lamb, clicked on one, it also helped that my friends were taekookers as well so i dived pretty deep into the rabbit hole of taekook. im gonna be writing my thoughts and experiences on shipping taekook at different times of the year. i dont remember every single detail clearly (like this was 5 years ago) so forgive me if i sound vague at times plus this will only be a summary. without further ado, lets start, shall we?

february-march, 2018

by this time, i already watched quite a few taekook analysis videos, i also came across a few tkk_lives' videos(i think i came across her vids like much later but i just included it here) as well as other deluded channels. i fell even deeper into the rabbit hole. i thought taekook were the epitome of boyfriends silly in love, i felt like they had the best chemistry and that they were the ones whose ship actually made sense. i feel so embarrassed to admit this but one of my rather major reasons for shipping them was how good they looked tgthr🤦‍♀️(im a changed person now i promise). now i realise many tkk analysis channels tend to heavily edit things to make it look like theres something going on, overanalysing things to no end, it made me see them as if they were closer than they actually are, and as if theyre hiding something, but it was really just heavy and clever editing that forces your mind to get convinced. it was quite literally manipulative. plus back then, i was rather immature and hadnt even been in a rltnshp yet, so i blindly believed whatever they said. i believed every narrative and every theory they put out even if i knew lots of them didnt even make sense. they constantly also put out the jealous jungkook/taehyung whenever the other breathes next to another member..as i now realise, thats one of the biggest toxic traits a person can have. they were always pushing tkk as a toxic relationship without even knowing it(or just ignoring it). i also do not like jikook analysis vids where they are portrayed as the same territorial mfs who cant stand the other interacting with anyone else but himself. bc thats literally pushing their relationship as a toxic one and making them look toxic, and i would rather not do that.

march/april-september, 2018

i only watched taekook vids and funny bts moments for a long while as a baby army. i didnt watch official content very much, i ddint even know how to watch official content..i didnt know bangtantv existed yet💀 this tkk analysis watching continued for around 4 or so months after i became an army before i took an unintentional break from them(analysis vids) and i went on twitter. twitter, was so much worse(as i now realise). i didnt have an account at that time and learnt to browse on twt without one(it doesnt really let you do that anymore). at first, i found nothing weird or unusual and i enjoyed lurking on twitter, but slowly i started to see the ugly side of the community. i found multiple accounts directly or indirectly hating on jimin. i was weirded out. very weirded out. i was quite conflicted but..i only thought of it as jimin haters who were coincidentally tkkrs, maybe i refused to see tkk shippers in a bad light? probably, unfortunately i cant remember much and as i said, i was immature.

october-december, 2018

i stumbled across gcf in tokyo somewhere in october, i think it was in a fanwar on twitter and a jkkr said "at least we have this" or sumn along that line and put a link to gcft . idek how i didnt see it earlier. immediately after watching it, i felt..weird, conflicted, insecure. insecure about my ship. it seemed so romantic to me even then. but ofc i didnt let myself give up immediately, and i searched interviews + info about it, i found tkkrs saying vminkook were supposed to go tgthr and jikook only went bc they had a few days off and tae didnt. that gave me a lil bit of security and i held onto that thread of security and refused to believe or even hear out the actual fact(which i will come to later). as you can see, i was a stubborn mf. inside i knew that even if tae not having time off was the "only" reason behind jikook's japan trip, it was still unusual and suspicious to go on a trip with only your "bro" when said "bro" has told you and the world multiple times that they wanna go on a trip alone with you, when the hotel room you're staying at with your "bro" has a see-through glass wall for the bathroom and when you make a whole love confession in the guise of a travel log for your "bro" while your boyfie is waiting for you at home.

in conclusion, i was very insecure.

did i give up? no, not yet. we're getting there.

so as a masochist and out of curiosity caused by insecurity, i searched up jikook videos on yt, thinking "there's no way they could ever have more chemistry than taekook 🙄" - when i tell you i was wrong as fuck, i mean it. i was HUMBLED. the chemistry and tension between jungkook and jimin was undeniable. i felt uncomfortable watching some certain moments, felt things that i didnt feel while shipping taekook, saw things i didnt see in taekook.

i was confused plus the sinking feeling you get when you've been too loud about what you think and your opinions but then it turns out you were a stupid ass bitch.

there was a plethora of jikook vids, and i think my first jikook video was from Made in Busan, ig it was the "serendipity" analysis? back then it made lots of sense to me, but now it looks slightly overanalyzed (i still believe "serendipity" is very much connected to jikook tho). i slowly got more introduced to jikook in general. this mainly occured in like the first week of october and december as i had my boards in november.

december/january-february, 2019

so its been more or less of a year since ive become a tkkr, gcft is still in the back of my head screaming at me. and then jikook drop another bomb. that is, 2018 MMA.

this..was just, just..i cant explain it in words. jungkook had every bit of his attention directed towards jimin, they were giving each other loving glances, jimin giving jungkook a flying kiss, jungkook giving jimin a finger heart, jungkook subconsciously massaging jimins nape..it was just so domestic and coupley. i've never third wheeled so bad in my life. i felt like i was interrupting something by watching them. imagine how hyunjae next to them felt😔✊not to mention how it very much looked like jungkook was saying "남편"[ nampyeon] meaning "husband" and "형의 남친"[ hyung-ui namchin ] meaning " hyung's boyfriend" in their conversation after jimin pointed to himself and jungkook (forgive me if the spellings/romanizations are not accurate enough, im not fully fluent in korean). plus, after jungkook said it, jimin smiles and shyly looks down..LIKE??

watch from 31:00 to see for yourself. im not kidding.(p.s i love this video so much)

i was bamboozled. i was shocked. i was frustrated. i was feeling stupid. i was begging for taekook to drop something mindblowing or sumn that would regain my secuity in the ship and i found some moments during other award shows but, it didnt feel the same. to me it was really looking like taekook had boundaries and limits between each other, the limits that apply when you're good friends. but with jikook, i couldnt see how their gazes towards each other could be passed off as anything platonic, how their actions+body language could ever be seen as platonic.

so what did i do? did i give up? oh hell no im stubborn as fuck. but we're getting there.

i ignored every jikook moment and brought my focus back on taekook, i started watching analysis and moments again. in a span of a few weeks, the security around my ship had improved after pretending that i didnt feel like a stupid mf after MMA 2018. haha. it sorta worked lol. sorta.

march-may, 2019

these were my last months as a taekooker.

after all that shit, all i wanted was more taekook moments to make me feel better about myself. and i did get quite a few. however, as i said before, they looked like they had boundaries. i couldnt look at them exactly the same.

i was busy in april with my class tests, i doubt i had much time to catch up with the boys. so when the tests ended, it was most likely in the last week of april or the first few days of may.

we all know what happened in the first few days of may, don't we? in case you don't, this is what happened.

surprisingly, i clearly remember the first time i got to know about it.

it was in class, i just arrived and then one of my friends and i start talking and she goes [this convo is all translated from bengali]

"hey did you see what jungkook did at the latest concert?"

"no, i didn’t, what did he do?"

"he went and literally sucked on jimins ear!"

i was shocked once again, my eyes went wide, my heart did a backflip..all that shit. i didnt believe it at first.

"don't joke around like that, you're being absurd" i said.

"im not kidding bro, he sucked jimins ear in the rosebowl concert last week, ill send you a link too"

when i got back home, sure enough, the link was there and i saw jungkooks ear nibbling in all its glory, albeit a bit low quality. but no doubt he took that ear into his mouth and i knew it.

surely i must've given up now? no, but im this🤏 close we're almost there i promise

i went online and found lots of tkkrs denying that jungkook ever took jimin's ear into his mouth and that jimin's ear only got caught on jk's chin. but..if it got caught on jk's chin then that means his chin was behind jimin's ear, and his lips must have been at least kissing jimin's ear, given that we couldnt see them very well. the lip we could see was the upper lip, which again lead me to be believe that jungkook did indeed, suck jimin's ear.

yeah, my faith in tkk was crumbling into millions of pieces. because i couldnt see how jungkook, being in a supposed relationship with taehyung, could do that with tae's best friend. i sure as hell wouldnt let my partner get away with that, nor would i ever do that myself with someone else other than my partner. even if its to comfort them. it just goes way over platonic boundaries.

i was seriously considering shifting over to jikook by now. but before that, i searched lots of shit up abt jikook.

there i saw an interview where jimin talked about the tokyo trip with jungkook. what i believed until now was that vminkook were supposed to go tgthr but jikook were the ones with time off, and tae didnt have time off. jimin said he told taehyung and jungkook that he wants to go on a trip to Japan. he didnt say he wanted to go on a trip WITH taehyung and jungkook. yall, ive told my wishes to go to japan and turkey multiple times to my friends, does that mean im taking their asses with me? no. mind you, jimin has said he wanted to go on a trip alone with jungkook multiple times in their rookie era. on jimin's bday of 2017, jungkook tweeted a pic of him(jimin) with the caption "Its not over yet.." and shortly after, we find out jikook went on a tokyo trip by THEMSELVES with no staff, no managers and no other members. dropped off at the airport by jungkook's dad and brother and jimin's dad. jungkook paid for everything and put a hell lot of time into making the masterpiece that is gcf in tokyo WITH a bgm of a gay fucking song by a queer fucking artist and showed the fucking rainbow colored ferris wheel at the line "love is a road that goes both ways".

also

its clear who the main model of gcf is.

you can deny the trip being only for jikook, but you can not deny the symbolism and significance shown in gcf in tokyo. saying "jungkook didnt understand the song, hes not fluent in english" - is so small minded and belittling.

saying he didnt show jimin on the parts "boy, im holding onto something, wont let go of you for nothing, im running, running just to keep my hands on you" on purpose is not only straight up denial but also understimating jungkook's intelligence and artistic capabilities, saying that jungkook isnt smart enough to get the meaning behind these words. and just because hes korean. thats fucking racist if you ask me.

then i discovered the iconic osaka vlives, i was convinced. it was my last straw along with rosebowl.

alas, after around a week of denial, i gave up and became a jikooker in mid may of 2019. ive never looked back. over the years they've only given us more and more evidence and i doubt my beliefs will ever change soon.

i hope this was kinda fun to read, i had been planning to do this for a long time. im glad i finally got to say my thoughts out here. thank you for taking the time to read this<3

[mysteryanimator]

Animatic Breakdown/storyboard rambles

You can watch it here :D

I know it is super silly but I really like geeking out about media analysis and it's a good wind-down for me since this did somewhat take some creative juice. Also, it acts to look over and kinda reflect over on how to improve stuff!

The breakdown will be slightly of order so I can be more concise with drawing toward specific parallels because there's a bit!

Right off the bat, I had initially planned about 20 seconds for this animatic. It did jump to 2 minutes due to an additional story I thought would strengthen it- but this meant what I wanted to show all had to count. So with that in mind:

This framing was really important for me to hammer into your face. To point out, every time this framing occurs, Mizrak is boxed and trapped in by some external force- until that last frame with his boots, to which his body has control of the frame. I might've gone overboard though I'm not entirely sure HAHAHA.

Even the cameos I wanted to make sure had some intentionality because these people were nice enough to give in ref pics and were interested in it!

You might be wondering "what on earth wdym intentionality with cameos?" Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon, aka frequency bias/frequency illusion was something I really really wanted to play around with super briefly. Which funnily enough, the people who happened to ask, were able to fall into the concept I wanted to play with.

Mizrak's hair is curly. Mizrak's hair is also cropped- by this point I had to bring in an oc to vaguely resemble Olrox to continue that subliminal messaging that Mizrak is genuinely plagued by the thoughts of him and Olrox. While verbally or even mentally, he never acknowledges it- his thoughts are omnipresent. No one is a replica of Mizrak and Olrox, they just make your head turn, and make you think.

Which also, you could argue then that MONK BLUE falls into the frequency illusion because he does end up accidentally adopting the features of Olrox when simplified. I noticed that from the very start and I almost took him out because of the similarities before deciding to just keep him LOL. I still think it's really funny this ONE BACKGROUND CHARACTER has screen time just because he stood next to him and I decided he was going to be the one most suspicious of Mizrak.

(Briefly, I'll mention, MONK RED, is an old OC, he is the head guard in some fantasy world I made up and that's the only reason he's here HAHAH)

This is where I introduce the held shot, and it happens in other shots so bear with me here and it'll make sense, hopefully! So these shots hold for an awkwardly long time. While music does mask how long it is, Mizrak is just standing there. Thinking. Even when he's the main focus he's still. We know he's thinking but he's choosing not to verbalise a single thought- and when he does, we know there's so much more to it than what he says.

This shot was very intentional because this is the last time you will see Mizrak's face unobscured for this animatic. This is one of the reasons why this animatic jumped from 20 seconds to 2 minutes. I wanted the lack of his face (especially his eyes) to leave an impact.

Also, its a hint to "we as an audience will be blocked from seeing Mizrak's personal thoughts, and if we ever do get a glimpse we will be forcibly be shut out as soon as possible"

SO, eyes are an important thing I decided to run with here! Close-ups of Mizrak's eyes are only shown twice. Once near the beginning and secondly near the end. Even then it's a side profile under different lighting condition and different expressions.

Which you might be asking "why is the only frame of Olrox below Mizrak???" In a close up of Mizrak's face, the most detailed thing in it is his eyes, therefore naturally we draw our focus towards it. He's already looking down, which means our eyes will follow to where Mizrak is looking at. This meant putting Olrox where our eyes would naturally land. Olrox looking back up would allow for the eye to go back to the original spot so when I abruptly cut to Mizrak's mouth, it's not too much of a headache.

... I hope that made sense, if not, here's it in gif format!

Like that :D

Also since it is just an extreme close-up, it allows for an open interpretation of this glimpse of Olrox. What is happening here ??? I don't know you tell me :)))) Why is Olrox looking up like that :))))) Sometimes if you leave it to the imagination, the audience is just forced to wonder what happened. I'm not letting you into their most vulnerable deepest moment lol, that's all I'm giving you. Though also I wanted the audience to feel like they were shunted out because it gives the sense of "WE WERE GOING TO GET MORE BUT THESE MONKS DECIDED WALK IN"

SO Mizrak's mouth is important because he barely says a thing.

Also I like to find different ways to portray interactions, specifically reactions to dialogue- so for here I wanted Mizrak's restraint to be a huge focus. Silence and stillness in video and audio formats are very powerful in storytelling. Also also if I were to animate this, I won't though, I am absolutely finding a way to avoid animating little sections so more important sections get prioritized, say if I were to animate a action fight scene LOL. Therefore I personally lean heavily into composition and framing to do my storytelling rather than the choreography of moves. (However that is not to say framing and choreography cannot be mixed, they are an ungodly combo when mixed, I'm not very strong in mixing those yet)

This top down shottttt. I do this a lot in my boards LMAO, it personally conveys a lot for me and it feels like we're an audience perched up in a corner just watching something unfold. Like unseen observers. It also in turn just ends up making the characters in a weaker vulnerable situation. Especially here. I wanted Mizrak to feel absolutely corned, backed into a wall. Not only by characters but by the building too.

Though I'm like 100% sure there are different ways I can iterate on this top-down view I need to find a new dynamic angle to latch onto HAHAHA.

Which to note MONK RED always has his arms crossed, he's not prepared to attack, while MONK BLUE is always resting his hand on the sword from the get-go. Hopefully, this establishes what their dynamic is towards Mizrak from the start without knowing who they are beforehand.

Also yes the shadows are fangs and very subtly a tongue that was super intentional to make fun of the line MONK RED says. It made me lean heavily more into having shadows matter more. So yes, characters are backlit very intentionally. Faces being half shrouded in shadow? Also very intentional.

Yes, it was intentional that a shot of Mizrak's mouth goes to a shot where the shadow makes a mouth shape.

I knew I had to have this shot here, just to make Mizrak's silence so much more obvious to the point it's borderline violent. I think this framing is really cool and it does have the sword show up to continue giving the sense of being prepared to stab someone in the back. Also, this is a slightly high angle. If there was a camera here, it would be slightly tilted up, making the threat more imposing.

So this is the second reason to why my original storyboard jumped from 20 seconds to 2 minutes- I wanted to subvert the original the border frame I was going for because by this point I think subconsciously you can feel it already. I wanted Mizrak's answer to be really odd and let that weight carry on far longer than it should to make the audience go "...huh what was that answer???" and start questioning Mizrak too (hopefully). I wanted him to go around the question, both in a verbal manner and physically having him walk around the characters instead of through them.

The rest of the boards that follow after have all the characters off to the side because something is off. Therefore I wanted the balance of the scenes that follow to be off-center. Even if visually they are balanced for a second, it doesn't last long at all. I wanted people to hopefully feel the shift from the pre-inquiry about why Mizrak was late and post-inquiry.

I think I could've been a lot stronger with the 'off' sense, but also I didn't want to push it too far because I didn't want alarm bells- I just wanted to plant seeds of doubt to fester.

Originally this board was going to be super comedic- but I went with a different route, but it still kinda smuggled itself into a few places!

I wanted the swords to be fully shown, it was really important to me it was in the shot. Yes, that includes Mizrak's dagger. I wanted to just hang over the sense of danger, the ability to just start attacking each other once again, but instead, they're stalking each other like prey.

SIDE TANGENT- all the monks have their swords on the left while Mizrak has his kilij (specific sword he has) on the right. He stands out massively design-wise from all the other monks so I wanted to hopefully have that be really prominent here too, since right now, he's the odd one out in this interaction.

So here, the camera is dragging off the characters, which I hoped to allude that MONK BLUE is not listening at all despite looking at him. We as the audience are the camera, so by forcibly dragging the camera off MONK RED, I am trying to drag the attention off him so we get into the mindset of MONK BLUE.

Also this line, I wanted to jab at Mizrak and I wanted from the get-go to make everyone uneasy. Also also just from ten billion watches of Nocturne, I noticed that Mizrak has a lot of 'guard dog' allusions, so I wanted to throw that here. Especially since the rest of the panels have just been of Mizrak's jaw.

I wanted to experiment with something slightly comedic and I also wanted the feeling of being unwilling dragged back into a conversation we shouldn't be having. I played around with it being a shoe shot, a sword shot because I wasn't to particularly fond of doing ANOTHER face shot- but I wanted to save those other shots for later, also I think it kind of played into it having cut to MONK RED and just having MONK BLUE not following at ALL.

Despite being chewed out by his fellow monk, he still holds a massive presence on the screen in a literal sense, unwavering. Mizrak is just STANDING there until he inveitentivately cracks and says something. He's holding himself back, which I was trying to hark on his behaviors from episode 04 with Olrox.

Ok yipee this frame- so every single time this pole pillar frame thing occurs- its always outside of Mizrak's control. He is now in control of it, to a point where even the camera follows his walk. Also audio-wise it connects back to the beginning with the bell :D because this frame motif was there from the very start.

Also not at me finding myself drawing shoes so much more often now, free me HAHAHA

Oh my god, it's the sword again. Except this time I make it really obvious to pair it with the dialogue. Like I wanted to whack you with that pairing and be very explicit in the message I wanted to portray. Also in the back of my mind, this was a "this foreshadows episode 08" HAHAHAH

Fun fact, this was timed to Granite from Sleep Token originally, then I played around with Playing with God, which my opinion made it more intensive. I ended up with Classical Dragon from Marcin and Tim Henson but I'm not too fond of that either BUT i do not want to have this infest my mind because there's something else I want to go board for fun.

Ok now done HAHAH, hope you enjoyed this longgggg breakdown- this was honestly me trying to get more comfortable with Storyboard pro and also the idea of the monks being suspicious of Mizrak kept lingering in my mind. I look back on these boards and i know i could improve on these a lotttttttttttt BUT hey I'm now a lot more intentional with my choices than say a few months ago AND I have a lot more variety in shots and angles yipee :D

[aectpen]

STRAWBERRY ✯ 𝙕𝙃𝘼𝙉𝙂 𝙃𝘼𝙊!

m.list

synopsis: 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐲𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐥

pairing: Zhang Hao of ZB1 and fem!oc

status: ongoing

chapter 10: she knows

as he had promised, hao secured a front-row ticket to the concert for rina. he chose to deliver it discreetly during her shift at the convenience store, which happened to be at its busiest. whenever these two met in even mildly crowded environments, their behavior became unbelievably suspicious. one might assume that the ticket he was passing to her was a bag of cocaine.

as Rina sat, waiting for the concert to start, she couldn't help but feel a sense of unease. the only other time she had attended a fan event featuring him was when she didn't realize they were acquainted. now, with that knowledge in mind, she felt somewhat awkward sitting with a group of people who were enthusiastically gushing about seeing jebewon. When it came to him, her excitement made her feel a bit jittery.

"hey! do you bias zhang hao?" the girl next to her asked, holding out a zhang hao banner.

"no!" rina replied promptly. her nervousness made her feel as though almost everyone was onto them, even though in reality, only haemin and his fellow group members were privy to their relationship.

the girl gave her a quizzical look. "i just assumed he was your bias since you have his photocard." 

rina hesitated for a moment, then scratched the back of her neck. "oh, yeah, i guess i do like him, yeah." she accepted the banner with a slight smile.

once zerobaseone took the stage, rina tried not to seem too excited. she knew dating an idol wasn't easy, and that there's always a possibility of someone connecting the dots. but 30 seconds in she realized she was about as relevant as an needle in a haystack. and decided to enjoy herself.

several of the group members, including hao, made their way over to her side of the stage to engage with the audience. rina couldn't help but smile and wave with the same enthusiasm as the people around her. she knew that once he had his phone in hand, she wouldn't hear the end of it from him.

hao scanned the area, searching for his girlfriend as he mentally tallied the seats, committing the number on her ticket to memory. when he reached her seat, he immediately noticed the expression on her face. she gazed back at him with a look that clearly conveyed, "i know you were searching for me, you're not slick."

hao playfully formed hearts for the crowd while keeping unbroken eye contact with rina, even adding a few winks for good measure.

"am i dreaming, or is he looking directly at me?" the girl next to her nudged and whispered.

"yeah, totally!" rina laughed.

after the concert was over, rina waited around the venue lobby scrolling though her phone. she wanted to leave when the area cleared up.

"rina?" she recognized that voice instantly. 

"hey," she forced a smile, still feeling a bit miffed about being brushed off earlier. 

"i didn't see you. you must've been far back," haemin chuckled. 

"no, actually, i was far front," she replied, mustering another smile. rina waited for haemin to introduce the friend she had brought along. 

"oh, this is hyemi. hyemi, meet rina," haemin introduced the two.

"nice to meet you! i’m going to the bathroom," hyemi excused herself, leaving them alone. 

"so," haemin began, her tone tinged with a hint of bitterness, "are you sticking around to be with him?" 

rina sensed the tension and decided not to delve into this topic. "i'm just waiting for it to get less crowded, that's all. why do you ask?" 

"nothing, i just assumed you might be staying back to be with him," haemin replied just as hyemi rejoined them. 

rina fell silent, not wanting to discuss her relationship with Haemin present.

"it's okay; she knows," haemin assured, putting her arm around hyemi.

 "she knows what?" rina knew for a fact she couldn't mean what she thought she meant.

"about you and zhang hao." haemin whispered

rina felt tears welling up in her eyes. if you had told her just a few months ago that she would be in this situation, she would have thought you were crazy. she couldn't fathom why haemin would disclose this to someone, especially someone she couldn't tell from a can of paint. the secrecy of dating an idol was challenging on its own, but having people she couldn't trust aware of it made the situation a thousand times more difficult to conceal. haemin's actions now confirmed her initial hesitation to reveal her friendship with hao.

"i don't understand," her voice just barely above a whisper.

"your secret is safe with me." hyemi winked.

unable to handle the information, she simply walked away from them. who knew such a  short interaction would cause such stress.

"rina!" haemin called after her. 

she turned back, her expression still visibly annoyed. 

"goodbye!" hyemi chimed in this time.

later that night, rina craved solitude as she wallowed in her own sorrows. her best friend had betrayed her trust, and it was difficult to comprehend. she couldn't believe she had ever felt guilty about not confiding in haemin about the fact that "strawberry" was, in fact, zhang hao. She had hoped for a typical relationship with him, but now she'd have to be even more discreet.

[facetime] haohao

before accepting the call, rina swiftly wiped away her tears and patted her face.

"hey, baby!" he exclaimed with a wide, beaming smile.

"so, we're using pet names now?" rina chuckled.

 her lighthearted tone couldn't conceal her true condition from hao. 

"what's wrong?" he observed her puffy eyes and hoarse voice.

"nothing's wrong, baby."

"i won't stop asking," he persisted.

"it's just haemin, it's nothing." she shrugged. "she's just been pissing me off lately. let's talk about something else."

"okay, okay. how about we talk about you jumping up and down with a zhang hao banner." hao looked up as if he was recalling something.

"um, no! you  must have me mistaken with somebody else." she shook her head. "i think i saw you making heart eyes at this one girl in the crowd, though. if i remember correctly. "

"you got me there. there was this really hot girl in the crowd and had to stop and stare." he pursed his lips.

rina laughed at his whole bit. "now i do admit i kinda liked this dude named zhang hao. he is talented, cute,  and thoughtful. i just couldn't resist."

"what are you smiling at?" someone called out from behind hao's phone. they swiped his phone and ran away while hao chased them.

"hey! give me my phone!" he shouted, trailing close behind the culprit. the person must have locked themselves in a room.

the person revealed themself to be gunwook with taerae and yujin. 

"hi rina!" yujin waved with a grin.

"so this is hao's girlfriend." taerae emphasized the word girlfriend with a playful tone.

"you are way out of his league." gunwook laughed.

"well nice to meet you too." rina gave an air handshake. rina was amused by the cries in the background from hao begging for his phone back. "i think you guys should give his phone back, he might die."

once he got his phone back he showered her with apologies. "i am so sorry you had to endure that, those little brats."

"i think they're adorable." she poked out her bottom lip.

"traitor!" he crossed his arms.

the two continued their friendly banter throughout the night, drifting off to the sound of each other's breathing. by the night's end, rina had completely pushed her encounter with haemin and hyemi out of her mind. hao had a way of reminding her that they were the only ones who truly mattered in their relationship. despite the potential risks, she had no intention of letting fear of others discovering their relationship come between them.

[you-are-so-much-better-than-that]

Alternative Timeline

So as of yesterday I have been on Tumblr for a YEAR! A WHOLE YEAR being a part of this beautiful wonderful incredible community that we have all built. And it has changed my entire life. I’ve made friends who I hope will be in my life long after we’ve forgotten about these characters and this universe (will we ever though…?). I have crafted and written and collaborated. I have participated in a zine and cobbled together a couple of drabbles. I’ve had so much fun being your unofficial Keeper of the Shameless Timeline, trying to make some kind of sense of season 1 and, more recently, working alongside some of my favourite artists and people to build a whole ass calendar! It’s been the most wonderful year and I’m looking forward to the next! I’m not done doin this thing yet! 

Also, I know I haven’t been active these last couple of months, but I’ve noticed that there are a bunch of new people around these parts. I just wanted to say HI! HELLO! WELCOME!! I’m so glad you’re here! I see you all liking the things people are making and I know everyone appreciates the like, but I’m just gonna ask you to also hit that rb button! People are out here making things! For you! To enjoy! For free! Art and gif sets and fic! They take so much time, and it's so easy to show your appreciation! Just a couple of buttons! You don’t even have to go nuts in the tags (although we love that kind of unhinged behaviour around here). And if you wanna say hi to us, make some friends, I highly encourage it. It was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

Ok I’ll shut up now. Let’s talk timeline!

I have tried my best to follow the logic, though sometimes there is none, and follow the clues, no matter how few! And I have tried to do it with as little bias as possible.

HOWEVER!

You guys, I have a confession to make.

There is a possible other timeline that season one could follow.

I do not like it! But, I am here to give you, my precious timeline enthusiasts, the truth! Even if it hurts me. Even if it makes no sense (because it often doesn’t. JW doesn’t believe in time). Even if it takes away the possibility of a Christmas bang and a New Year’s bang, which, truly, would be a tragedy and is the main reason I refuse to follow this other timeline.

Under the cut you will find the second possible timeline. You decide which you prefer, and tell me why! I need well-formed arguments for or against please!

Thank you all for being here with me this year. It hasn’t been an easy one, but you all have made it just a little bit better. I love you all!

Alternative Timeline

Episode 1: Remains the same at November 15, 2010. There is a calendar. Fiona points at it. No disputes here!

Episode 2: This is where it all could change. Bear with me. There is a possibility that this episode might have taken place on January 28, 2011, over two months after the first episode. Here’s why: Frank gets his cheque the last Friday of the month. In both November and December, the last Friday is a holiday, so this acts with the assumption that this is now January and it’s been 2 months since the first episode. I don’t love this idea because nowhere else in this season do they make such a massive time jump.  A few weeks, maybe, but not two months. This also then changes the entire timeline. No Christmas/New Year’s bang, either. What do you guys think?

Episode 3: As this episode starts the Thursday following the previous episode when Tony Takes Fiona to his award ceremony, it leaves Tony’s deflowering to have taken place on February 4.

Episode 4: If I follow the logic of my original calendar which has episode 4 on the same weekend as episode 3, then this means this episode alternatively takes place on February 6th. This actually works quite well with an upcoming event in episode 6. 

Episode 5: I worked a little backwards here. I had to place episode 6 on February 16th, so the only date episode 5 could take place was February 12th-13th, meaning Kev and Vee got married on February 13th in this alternate timeline.

Episode 6: At the beginning of this episode, Carl hands Fiona a note from last Friday and it is now Wednesday. I initially made the assumption that it is Wednesday Dec 15th, however, in this alternative timeline, I’m placing this episode on February 16th. And there is evidence of this date. If you zoom in quite a bit, it’s got a date on it, February 11, 2011, the Friday before February 16th.  But I hate this timeline because it just doesn’t make sense! There is a calendar change in episode 8, two episodes from now! It goes from December to January in that episode. I can get that the calendar is unreliable, but if they’re gonna change it, why change it to the wrong month?? No. I refuse. But anyway. There is evidence.

This now leaves us three weeks to squeeze in the Bangiversary, Slim Jims, and two episodes of Monica before we get to the last two episodes, which we know for a fact take place on March 18-20th, same as the original timeline. Here is the only way this would work:

Episode 7:  Episode 7 would be on February 18th-19th, making Ian and Mickey’s Bangiversary February 19th, getting rid of the possibility of a Christmas and New Year’s bang. Also, speeding up their entire first bit of their young relationship. We just went from a possible two months of secret fucking before Mickey was arrested to a mere two weeks? No! I don’t like it!!

Episode 8: This puts SlimJims and Milkovich-Ian Sandwich on February 25th-27th.

Episode 9: Frank would call Monica on March 5th and, she’d would show up around March 6th. That same night, Mickey is arrested. 

Episode 10: On March 7th, Ian finds out he’s not Frank’s son and Monica abandons her children again.

Episodes 11 & 12: Remain the same. We know they take place on the Friday-Sunday after St. Patrick’s day.

I will admit, there is an elegance to the end here with the Karen storyline. In the original timeline, if she goes to the ball with her dad on February 21st, and then goes emo child on March 18th, about three weeks later. That doesn’t really fit, either. However, I could be convinced to move the entire Monica saga down so that it all happens in March instead of February. This could work actually. (Yes you are reading me figuring this out in real time, folks!)

WAIT!!! WHAT IF we have an alternative-alternative timeline?? And it looks like this:

We ignore the weird Carl teacher’s note thing from episode 6, and we keep episodes 1-8 the same as is in the original timeline, giving us the very, very important Christmas and New Year’s bang as well as more than two weeks of secret fucking, while episodes 9-12 look more like this second timeline, making the Karen storyline make more sense. Oh I think I like this!

Here are some visuals:

OG Timeline:

Timeline 2.0

Timeline 3.0

WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?? Does anyone have opinions? Do we still care?? Did we ever…?

There you have it folks! Season One all tied up in…a really messy Gordian knot. I hope you enjoyed this journey as much as I have! On to season two! (I promise I won’t take a whole year this time!)

[hopefulatrocity]

From The Ashes Chapter 3

Notes: Small Daryl POV this chapter! They will officially meet not the next chapter, but the one after, I promise. I’m already halfway done with it. I like to be at least one chapter ahead of my posts. 

If you want to be added to a taglist, leave a comment or message me

CW/TW: Anxiety, beginnings of anxiety attack, allusions to past trauma/transphobia

Dividers by: @firefly-graphics & @omiyours

Banner by: @liminal-creations​

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As soon as Pheonyx turned 18, he started donating blood. As a universal donor, he felt a sense of obligation to help in some way. Every few months, he found himself sitting in a sterile office, his hand gripping a stress ball, while a tube drained a unit of his blood into a bag. Blood that would likely save someone’s life in the future. So, when Patricia hooked him up to Hershel’s antique transfusion set–one needle in his arm and the other in Carl’s– Pheonyx felt like a piece of the world from before had been handed to him. It was small but–when the world was being taken over by walking corpses–any bit of familiarity helped ease the constant anxiety. The new world always sneaks back up though. 

The chair beneath him was uncomfortable and he felt vulnerable with the tube sticking out of his dominant arm. If shadows were to show up, he would be exposed. He wouldn’t have much time to disconnect himself and then reach for his cutlass. He tried to ease his anxiety, by going through all the precautions he had placed in the woods and around the property. He would know before the shadows showed up. There would be enough time to prepare himself if the farm was attacked.  To distract his thoughts, Pheonyx stared at the clammy face of the boy, who Rick said was named Carl. Hershel sat on the other side of the bed and took his blood pressure. The light hissing of the pressure cuff, filling the silence. Rick and the other man, Shane, had left a short while ago. Likely to discuss how to get word to the kid’s mother about his condition. 

“Do you think he can hear us?”, Pheonyx asked, not taking his eyes from the boy. 

Hershel was quiet for a moment while he undid the cuff around Carl’s small arm. “I’m not sure, honestly. Research has suggested that we’re able to understand auditory stimulation while in unconscious states. But I doubt we will ever truly know. I’m sure he would appreciate you talking to him, even if he can’t hear you.”, he answered honestly. 

Pheonyx nodded and leaned his head back against the rickety wood chair. Another question bubbled in his mind, “When-When I was in the hospital, did I look like him?”

His stepfather was shocked by the inquiry. In the past 6 years, his stepson hadn’t mentioned anything in relation to the events that led to his need to move states. Those times were dark in every member of the Greene family’s minds. For weeks, Pheonyx’s life had hung in the balance. Every bit of prejudice and confusion that had still resided in his parent’s minds was forgotten and it made them take stock of their treatment in regards to their son’s gender identity. The world was already fighting against him, his injuries and trauma being evidence of that. Did they really want to spend their time stuck in their narrow minded ways, or did they put forth the effort to understand and love their son? It was an easy decision for them. They refused to be another bully in the schoolyard of Pheonyx’s life. Hershel only wished it hadn’t taken almost losing him, to truly appreciate his stepson and to find understanding in the Bible’s command to love without bias.

“Yes, son.” he answered softly, his mind drifting in a sea of darkness from the past. “When your mom and I first walked into your room, we thought you had already passed. You were so pale, you almost blended in with the sheets you were laying on, and you were so still. Your mother is a strong woman. Hardly ever cried. I’m sure you know that. Aside from Bethie’s birth and your Grandpops dying, that was the only time I ever saw Annette shed tears…”

Hershel trailed off, the pain from those days and the mention of his wife making his gut clench. He stood and placed the blood pressure cuff on the nightstand. 

“You know how to remove the needles?”, he asked. When Pheonyx nodded, he continued. “You can go ahead and do that. We might need another unit in a bit, so I would like you to stay here. I need to talk to the boy’s father.” 

Pheonyx began clamping both of the tubes connected to his and Carl’s arm, “Okay. If Maggie is going out to find his mother, tell her to come see me beforehand, please?” 

Hershel assented and left the room, shutting the door most of the way. Pulling the needle from the ditch in his arm, Pheonyx reached over to the first aid kit that was sitting on the end of the bed. He grabbed some alcohol wipes and two bandaids. With those, he cleaned his own arm, placed a bandage on the tiny mark, and moved to do the same for Carl. It seemed slightly pointless to be cleaning the small puncture when the boy currently had a gaping wound in his abdomen. But it wasn't like they could take him to the doctor for an infection. If they had the means to clean a wound properly, they should. Plus, it kept his hands busy and allowed his mind to wander to those days in the hospital. 

“I know you don’t know me. You probably can’t even hear me. But on the off chance you can… You’re going to make it through this. I just met you. Heck, I haven't even talked to you, but I can already tell you’re a strong kid. I guess you have to be, to survive in the world right now.” Pheonyx pulled his chair a bit closer and took a seat. Hesitantly, he took Carl’s hand and squeezed softly. Maybe it was to comfort the boy. Maybe it was more to comfort himself from the memories that haunted his mind. He remembered waking up in the hospital with a gunshot to his stomach–in almost the exact same place as Carl’s– and the pain from the wound was minor compared to the agony in his mind.  

“Daddy said you needed to see me?”, the calming voice of his sister had him dragging his eyes away from the bed. Discreetly, he wiped the tears that had been forming in his eyes. 

“Uh, yeah. Are you taking a horse to find his mom?”

Maggie nodded, “Rick says a little girl got separated from their group yesterday. They were up at the traffic snarl on the highway. He says they split up and his wife is with the rest of the group, headin’ back that way.”

Pheonyx mentally mapped the route in his head. “ Check the map I have hung up in the stable. The green lines are safe routes through the woods. Avoid the red areas, I haven’t cleared those yet. Red stars are the traps. I’ve been taking Koda out when I place them. If you take him, he should take the safest route around them even if he’s going full speed.”

Maggie stiffened, “Nyx, if Daddy knew about what you’ve been doin’-”

“We can argue about it later. The boy needs his mom.”, His voice hardened, “There’s a copy of the map I made, on top of the table by the tack room. Give it to the rest of their group. It might help them while they look for the girl and keep them from getting hurt on any of the traps. I’ll help them more whenever they get here.”

Running a hand through her short brown hair, his sister sighed but relented. “Alrigh’. Anything else I should know?”

“Yeah, tell them to be careful of the barbed wire on the edge of the property.”

DARYL POV

Daryl Dixon had spent the majority of his life in the woods. Even more so since the dead started rising. When Sophia ran into the woods and went missing, he was the obvious choice to lead up the search. Rick and he had followed her trail as long as they could the day before but they lost the light and had to stop for the night. The little girl’s tracks had disappeared a while ago. She was light footed and he was having a hard time picking up her route. The whole group had searched most of the day. Rick, Shane, and Carl had split up to look for a while more while Daryl led the rest of the group back to the highway. He wasn’t too keen on the idea of splitting the group up. The more people searching for Sophia increased the likelihood of her being found. Being sent off to play tour guide to the rest of them–when he could be following the girl’s trail–just pissed him off. He was the only one in the group with a lick of sense in regards to surviving in the woods. Why did he have to play babysitter to a bunch of housewives, an uppity blonde, and Glenn? He should be the one searching for the girl, not Deputy Douchebag, Officer Friendly, and an 11yr old boy. Especially considering the state of the forest they were searching.

From the moment they started the search that morning, his mind had noticed something off about the woods around them. The distinct lack of shambling corpses was the big thing. The few walkers that they had come across were dead, their heads cut in half or arrow holes right between the eyes. Several along their path had met the same fate. Another odd thing were the traps scattered through the woods. During the first search, he had heard the tinkling of metal, but he had been so focused on finding Sophia and listening for the groans of walkers, that he had brushed it off. But not even an hour into the group’s search on the second day, they had found the first trap. A large tree was surrounded by sharpened sticks, stuck in the ground at a 45 degree angle. Dried blood covered the majority of the pointed ends. In the branches above the sticks, were wind chimes. Some were handmade, constructed of small bones or bits of scrap metal, others were the kind you could find at most stores. Nailed on the tree, blood dripping down the bark like trails of tears, was fresh offal. Possum and Raccoon by his best guess. Off to the side of the tree, a small 7x7 hole was dug. Only a few feet deep, the inside was scorched with the remains of burned walkers at the bottom.

Carol started hyperventilating at the sight of the bodies, thinking the worst had happened to her daughter. Lori moved Carl behind her while the others stared at the tree. 

“What is this?”, Glenn finally asked, breaking the silence. 

Daryl moved forward, crossbow at the ready, “Looks like a walker trap. Sound from the chimes draws ‘em in. Smell a’ the blood and flesh keeps their ‘ttention and lures ‘em onto the spikes. Hole’s for burnin’ them. Someone’s keepin’ the woods clear. ‘Splains all the dead ones we’ve found.”

Rick and Shane made sure their weapons were drawn, glancing around the area. The sheriff kept his voice low, “Someone’s livin’ around here. Everybody be on guard. We don’t know if they’re friendly.”

The gray-haired woman let out a small sob, “Oh god, they might have my baby. Or she could be caught in one of these traps somewhere. They could be burning her right now!” Andrea moved forward to comfort the older woman, speaking calming words and assurances.

After that, they walked quieter, avoiding unnecessary chatter. They passed 7 of those traps along the way, checking the hole at each one for a body of Sophia’s size. Some of them had walkers impaled on them, all grasping for the flesh nailed to the wood in front of them. 

The ringing of bells had them all running towards a church, hopeful that maybe the little girl had found a way to signal the group. But all they found was speakers set up to a timer and a perimeter of barbed wire and spikes that surrounded the abandoned building. Several walkers were impaled on the spikes, slowly grabbing for the building when the bells sounded. Daryl quickly dispatched one with his bow, while Glenn and Rick killed the other 3 with hunting knives. The doors to the church were open, blocked by barbed wire and sticks, but the inside was empty. The only signs of life were the dead walkers on the ground, killed in the same way as the others they found. By that point, it was mid afternoon and they needed to turn back in order to make it to the highway before sundown. Daryl had intended to point the rest of the group in the right direction and keep searching, but Rick wanted to keep up the search himself. Shane and Carl opted to tag along with them. Honestly, he was surprised Lori cut the cord and allowed the boy out of her sight for more than a minute. 

That’s how he ended up leading the others through the woods, holding in his anger at the talk behind him. They spoke like Sophia was already dead. Yeah, the girl was a bit weak. She was terrified of everything and had little knowledge of surviving in the wild. But she also had Ed as a father. A bastard who enjoyed putting his hands on his wife and child. As someone who grew up with a parent like that, Daryl knew that surviving those experiences formed a strength and determination to live in most people. He felt it in his bones that Sophia was one of those people. She was physically weak but she was whip-smart and had good instincts. Those things trump brute strength most of the time. 

In anger, he snapped at the group, insisting they would find Sophia. The looks on their faces had old insecurities rising in his chest. The hesitant looks of people waiting for the dirty redneck to blow up. Granted, Merle’s explosive behaviors had certainly colored their views of him by association. And his violent reaction to finding out his brother was left in Atlanta didn’t help matters. Despite his efforts to prove himself to this group, his mind still insisted that he was useless and they’d turn against him eventually. The old voice of his father still haunted the back of his mind. Telling him that he was no good, that no one could ever care for him. Physically avoiding the memory of his father and the subsequent tingling on his back, Daryl turned away from the group and kept moving forward. His grip on his crossbow, white knuckled. 

At some point they heard a gunshot. Only one. He tried to reassure Lori that Rick had probably just killed a walker, but even he knew that was a lie. Rick may be a bit naive to the world now, but he wasn’t stupid. Neither was Shane. They wouldn’t waste ammo or risk noise just for one walker. They continued to walk. About 100 yards from the highway, Andrea’s screams had them running. She had distanced herself at some point during their trek and a walker had snuck up on her. Before Daryl had a chance to put an arrow in the ugly bastard’s head, the sounds of hoofbeats preceded the entrance of a girl on horseback. Bat raised in the air, she brought it down and knocked the walker  a few feet away from Andrea. 

“Lori? Lori Grimes?”, she pulled up on the reins, halting the horse's momentum. Sweat was dripping down her face, making her short brown hair stick to her cheeks. The girl looked between all of them, waiting for an answer. 

Lori moved forward, “I’m Lori.”

“Rick sent me. You got to come now.”, the stranger began to pull out some folded paper from her pocket. 

Daryl, still slightly shocked at the sight of the woman riding in like some kind of superhero, saw Lori’s back tense. “What?”, she asked, her mind obviously snapping to the sound of the gunshot they had heard earlier. 

“There’s been an accident. Carl’s been shot. He’s still alive but you’ve gotta come now.”, at Lori’s lack of response, the girl spoke firmer. “Rick needs you. Just come!” 

As Lori tossed her backpack to the ground, Daryl moved forward to try to stop her, “Whoa-Whoa-Whoa! We don’t know this girl! You can’t get on that horse!”

His warnings fell on deaf ears though, the only thing on Lori’s mind was her son. She deftly jumped on the horse, settling behind the strange woman. 

“Rick said you had others on the highway, that big traffic snarl?”, the woman asked. 

Glenn stared at her, his eyes starstruck, “Uh-huh.” he said dumbly.

Tossing the paper she had pulled from her pocket, Daryl caught it, being the closest one. A quick glance told him it was some kind of map. He could see colored ink marked onto the printed chart. 

“Backtrack to Fairburn road. Two miles down is our farm. You'll see the mailbox-- Name's Greene–”, she glanced between all of them, stopping to linger on him and the crossbow in his hands. Almost as if she knew something he didn’t, a ghost of a smile curved her lips, one that was gone before it could even register for most of the group. “Key’s on the bottom of the map. Be careful of the barbed wire around the edges of the property.” With a flick of the reins pushing the horse into motion, the woman and Lori disappeared into the depths of the forest. 

They all stared after the pair riding the horse. Daryl was angry Lori hadn’t listened to him but was also worried about Carl, if what the woman said was true. If god was real, he sure had a sick sense of humor. They’d almost been blown up a couple days ago, Sophia had gone missing the day before, now Carl was shot? You’d think that their quota of shit to deal with would have been met a long time ago, but apparently not. 

A groan had the group turning their head to the walker that the strange woman had hit moments before. Map in one hand, Daryl used the other to lift his crossbow and shoot the geek between the eyes. 

“Shut up.”, he snapped, needing an outlet for his frustration. Hooking his crossbow over his shoulder, Daryl began to unfold the map. He briefly recognized the layout of the woods around them but his attention was drawn to the detailed marks around it. The whole area was organized into a color coded grid. Some blocks were marked green for safe, the others red for dangerous zones. At least a dozen dark green lines indicated safe trails leading to a property a few miles from the highway. He assumed it was the farm the girl was talking about. Red stars were dotted along the forest and the locations of a few stood out. They stood for the traps the group had found. He counted at least 20 of them throughout the few miles of woodlands. Other marks indicated hunting cabins, farmhouses, old barns, and clean water sources. The hours of hard work and surveying that had gone into this map was evident. Daryl lightly traced the script at the bottom of the map, where the key was located, with his thumb. The scribble was slightly sloppy but still legible. It didn’t look like a girl’s handwriting, but also wasn’t the chicken scratch that most men he knew had. He was oddly fascinated by it, the writing and the map. Glenn and Carol tried to look at it over his shoulder, but Daryl quickly–yet carefully– folded up the thin paper and stuck it in the breast pocket of his shirt. 

Grunting in a typical Dixon fashion, he walked over and grabbed his bolt from the walker on the ground.  “Come on. Need ta get back ‘fore it gets dark. Don’ want the ole’ man to have a heart attack.”

With that, the group made their way back to the highway. No one noticed that Daryl’s hand kept drifting towards the pocket near his heart, brushing against the folded paper through the dirty fabric. 

[ericpshaw]

Like a hard shell to crack with a soft center, Eric had to imagine that she didn’t have many positive experiences in the business which in turn, chilled her to most people. The temperature he got from others was divided. Some liked her, some didn’t- and whether or not that had to do with the type of business they were in seemed to be a non-factor. Because she was a woman, no matter what she did she had to decide which was more important: to be well liked or to do the job and do it well. Having chosen the latter had its downsides he could only assume that how she was being now a direct result of that.

He already knew mid-speech she’d made up her mind already, arms fastened against her chest. It wasn’t that she was defensive or even close to the words most often used for businesswomen, but rather that she probably had little to no experience with people who didn’t want to steal her job right under her nose, or worse. Eric was no stranger to that knowledge and it was half the reason he approached her with such caution. It should have given him no joy to watch her turn back to him with an annoyance, even if for a split second he thought she might relent. Eric wasn’t there to poach jobs and climb the work political ladder, or even insult her intelligence. He knew that nothing but his compliance would please her, and he aimed to do just that.

He fought a smile of his own, way too satisfied hearing how valuable an asset she knew she was, and how confident she was in that fact. Elena was his superior, and there shouldn’t have been a source of pride in the way she was snapping back at him, nor in the way she tightened her eyes and closed herself off from him. It wasn’t as if she needed to prove anything to him he didn’t already know, but he sensed he might have come off as undermining. Whatever the case, it amused him in a way he kept concealed.

He wasn’t often one to refrain from what he wanted to say, of course the range of this ended with his professional life, but even he fought the urge to make comments. If he did he would’ve told her dogs could sense danger before it happened, that he wouldn’t hesitate to do all those things had she asked - as it would be foolish to think his job might overextend to other realms at least once in a while. Eric held back his amusement in her insistence that girls would be faking all over him. It was displaced, a throw of something that was unexpected, like it might have been more a personal opinion than his original intent. “I think I can handle that.” He answered her, remaining straight and narrow, waiting until all she had to say was spent and she seemed satisfied to get it all out.

A small smile sneaked onto his face. “I completely understand.” Whatever new thing he might learn about her would come from her own admission, a patience in waiting for that acceptance from her. Still, the fear of losing his job was not enough to stop him from trying his luck. He kept his space, closing his hand over the wrist of his other arm. “I thought we were being professional. That verges the line of discrimination bias. Are you making an judgement of me based on how I look?” He responded suggestively, trying not to grin, eyebrow raised. “I offered services outside of my role, at your request, and answered your questions about my lack of a personal life.” He said this all calmly, with as much authenticity as his tone could muster. “I’m sure lots of other men would fall over themselves to work under you, but that doesn’t mean any of them are going to really care if you’re safe, as long as the paycheck clears. If you want me to shut up and do my job, I can. Should I refrain from telling you that if we let this go on for too long you’ll be running late for your next appointment?”

It wasn’t a regular occurrence, if ever, that he left this bad an impression on women. Worse when it was your boss who had only just moments prior let the dust settle for once and opened up. Not only had it soured and did so fast, but her body closed itself off from him. What surprised him most of all was the first thing that came from her mouth. It felt coded, tucked in and layered, almost as if it meant something much more - something deeper. It wouldn’t be so out of the ordinary that she might be putting on a front for the sake of authority in a culture for women which had close to none. Eric never considered the idea before, only impressed by her ability to juggle so much at once. Multitasking wasn’t something he was profound at. When he watched her work it felt like someone detangling thick knots of wires, able to connect on every level no matter the cost, able to retain information about others no matter how mundane.

For a brief moment he considered speaking up. It was a natural response, of course, to defend himself and explain, to fix it. It wouldn’t matter. He knew this before his mouth ever fixed itself to open, letting her get her sharp words in. Her eyes were cold, lips pressed and turning upside themselves. Somewhere between the verbal lashings a pout formed in the bottom half of her lips and he had half a mind to stop his eyes from softening at her. She couldn’t have been any less offended by Eric, but it was quite the opposite for him.

Her body was full of an air that only kept building, heat rising to the surface. It made her cheeks and the tips of her ears red. Her arms crossed and then uncrossed again, fingers clenching and undoing themselves as she moved from their side of the elevator to the other. There was no shift in his judgment, still firm in his belief that there should be some level of protection for her when he wasn’t around. He wasn’t persuaded by motivation to climb up a ladder, and wasn’t blind to the chaos her father caused for more than just his employers- herself included. That very thing trickled down to those closest to him, a tumor growing on each of their backs. He figured this was why she was putting on a front that she needed nothing, not a dog, not even him. He did acknowledge her words, a small gesture of a nod between them, but so many followed after that he calmly maintained the silence as he had before.

Seconds after more words had been thrown, Elena stormed from the elevator with a quickness, throwing her hair back in frustration. For short and careful moments he let a smile loose on his lips, somehow delighted by her anger. He wanted nothing more than to change her mind, but the sight of her anger and the direction now facing towards him required more restraint. He hid it before she could see, almost waiting for the next cluster of words. Again, almost comically, she turned her heels to him again. Eric kept his eyes fixed on hers each time she returned to quip at him, wanting her to know that he was listening.

All of her belongings in hand, Eric’s shoulders fell slightly, one hand going over another despite the fact that he could just have put it down. He didn’t want to give her the opportunity to pick them up. “You are absolutely right, I’m sorry. For making an assumption and bad joke, for overstepping my boundaries.” His jaw tightened. “I have nothing but admiration for you, and the work you do.” At the current moment, solely the first. “I didn’t mean to offend you, especially when the words were meant in praise of your qualities, clear decision making that I’m clearly poor with.”

He let that sit for a moment and advanced. She was close enough to the desk that setting her things at her side could be considered somewhat normal, even professional. On that line was the part of it that blurred, the closeness the action invited one he wanted to test with her. Maybe he wound her to a breaking point, but the look in her eyes changed his mind. Now he was looking at her sternly. “I thought you should have some kind of protection once you’re home. I still do. Safe locks, security systems they can only do so much. If you want to replace me with a dog it would even eliminate the worry that you don’t have protection when I’m not around, if that’s what you feel is best.”

He was placing her case at her side, leaning and laying her other things on the end of the desk. The gesture gave access to her scent and how thick it was in her hair. “Elena I want you to know that I’m not here because I need the money. My family aren’t Astors, of course, but I’m fortunate enough to have the option to work. Most of them decide not to, I guess it’s much easier.” He had half a mind to do more than linger close each time he placed her items beside her. He searched her eyes for more anger, finally letting them soften when he was close enough. “I’m not here because I need to be, I don’t have any ulterior motives, no alpha need to put you down just to make myself bigger, I don’t want to play the game. I got the job because I was qualified, and I stayed because of you. I’m here because I want to be. I don’t think anyone could do a better job at this than me. If you feel like a dog would be better, or even someone else, you can tell me and I’ll leave right now. I can stay and be silent indefinitely. Hell I’ll even fetch and sit. Whatever you want, boss.”

[storiesforallfandoms]

and the winner is... ~ eminem

word count: 1784

request?: yes!

“hey, love your writing sm ❤️ I really like the concept where the reader is a young actress with Eminem, so can I request one where they go to Marshall’s award show for the first time publicly, they try to keep it low key but the reader presents an award and when Em wins they share a warm moment on stage and the media loses it? thanks in advance”

description: in which they say they’re going to be lowkey for their first public appearance as a couple, and then he wins the award she’s presenting

pairing: eminem x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

It was hard to keep my hands off of Marshall as we walked down the red carpet. It was our first public outing as a couple, but Marshall wasn’t very into PDA so we had decided to keep it somewhat lowkey. It seemed like a good idea in theory, until Marshall did the unthinkable and showed up dressed in a suit. How am I supposed to not jump his bones when he looks damn fine in a suit?

Every time I so much as glanced at him the paparazzi would go crazy. So many flashing lights that eventually I was seeing spots. It was hard to keep smiling when I couldn’t even see ahead of me.

Marshall put an arm around my waist - which of course led to more flashing lights - and walked me off the red carpet into the venue. The minute I walked through the doors into the dimly lit room, it really was like I couldn’t see. I had to take a minute to let my eyes adjust to the sudden light change.

“Weird how quickly I go from basically a nobody on a red carpet to a hot commodity just because I have attractive arm candy,” I joked.

A half smile tugged at Marshall’s lips. “You were never a nobody. Not to me anyways.”

“Awe, that’s so sweet it’s kind of gross,” I teased.

This earned me an actual laugh as Marshall pulled me in for a kiss. Without any prying eyes around, we felt free to actually be a couple.

We engaged with some others in the industry, including those Marshall considered to be close friends of his. I felt out of place at this music award show as an actress who was still trying to become more than just a side character in the movies she starred in. I was grateful to have Marshall there to help me through it.

When we took our seats as the show was starting, Marshall reached over to take my hand. “Are you okay?”

I shrugged. “Nervous I think. Which I shouldn’t be because it’s just me announcing an award, but it’s my first time on an award show stage for any reason, and it’s a pretty big award.”

“And it’s one I’m nominated for.”

I looked over at Marshall with wide eyes. “What?!”

“You didn’t know?”

I shook my head. Now I felt so much more nervous. What if I pulled a Steve Harvey and said the wrong name because I wanted Marshall to win? Or what if he actually did win but everyone thought I said he did because we were dating? I tried to focus on the stage ahead of me but my heart was beating so fast that my vision was starting to get blurry. I felt warm, like I was sweating, which made me worry that my makeup was starting to run. I was going to look disgusting with my makeup running on live television.

Sensing my new found nervousness, Marshall gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Hey, look at me.” I glanced over to meet his gaze. “It’s going to be okay. You’ve rehearsed this speech so much that you can say it without the teleprompter. It’s not going to be any different just because I’m nominated. If I win, you give me the award and I do a speech. If I don’t win, you give the award to whoever does and they make a speech. It’s not a big deal, (Y/N), don’t worry too much about it.”

I wished I could’ve just let my fear rush from my body, but it was still there. Before I could say anything else, the lights went down and the show officially started.

I tried to just sit and enjoy the show but it was hard when I had my upcoming presenter role looming over me. Of course, it was one of the last awards of the show, so I had to sit there and let my nerves build as the suspense for the winner of the award grew as well.

Every now and then Marshall would give my hand another squeeze and I would calm down for that split second. Having him by my side helped a lot, but every time I remembered that he might be the recipient of the award I became nervous again.

Finally, it was my time to take the stage. They passed me the envelope with the name of the winner and motioned for me to take the stage. I plastered a smile on my face as my name was called and I walked onto the stage. I hoped the cameras couldn’t pick up my shaking, and I really hoped my shaking wouldn’t make my voice sound as bad as I feared it would.

“This award can only go to the best of the best,” I started, glancing at the prompter in front of me to make sure I was saying the words correctly. “The person who worked the hardest and had the best payoff with their release. The competition this year is fierce, and it was hard to narrow it down to just these five artists, as there have been so many amazing works of art released this past year. It has been an even harder choice to pick who of them all is the best, although I might be bias in saying I’ve already chosen my favorite.”

The audience chuckled at my improved addition to the speech.

“Ladies and gentlemen, here are your nominees.”

I watched the video that played of the nominated artists. My heart skipped a beat when Marshall came up, a few clips from the music videos he had filmed playing in a short montage. He had worked so hard on his latest album, every part of me hoped that he would be the winner I was announcing.

As the video came to an end, I turned back to face the audience (and the cameras) to announce the winner.

“And the award goes to...”

I tried not to let my slight fear show as I fumbled with the envelope for a moment. I started to worry that I wouldn’t even be able to open it and completely embarrass myself on live TV. I tried not to sigh with relief when the seal perfectly popped open and I was able to pull the card out. The smile on my face had to have given away the winner before the words were even out of my mouth.

“Eminem!”

The crowd cheered and stood from their seats. A camera found Marshall, who was standing from his seat and hugging Paul and Denaun before making his way to the stage. I couldn’t help but smile proudly at him as I extended the award I was holding - his award - to him.

I was taken by surprise when he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me in for a kiss. It was brief since he had an award to accept, but it was enough to make my head spin, the way his kisses usually did.

When he pulled away I was still so stunned that I almost forgot to give him his award. I could see him trying to hold back a laugh as he took it from my hands and turned to the microphone.

“Thank you,” he said to the still cheering audience. For a minute I forgot there was anyone else in the room, and realizing so many people had watched that kiss made my cheeks heat up. “I’d like to thank my manager, Paul, who for some reason still backs me with everything I do and produce even when it pushes the boundaries a little too much. I also want to thank the good Doctor, who has been supporting me since day one and who has always believed in me and gave me this platform to make music and to push the boundaries that Paul has to deal with. My daughters, my biggest inspirations. And of course, I’d like to thank the beautiful lady who presented this award to me tonight. I may not show it publicly but I am my happiest when I’m with you and I cannot thank you enough for that.”

I blinked away the tears forming in my eyes as I clapped along with the audience. The music started playing as Marshall offered me his arm to walk me off the stage. I felt like I was floating on cloud nine as we walked down the stairs and backstage, away from the cameras and the thousands of people watching us, both in person and on TV.

We were greeted backstage by other presenters and winners who were still mingling and celebrating their wins. Marshall was congratulated and a few of the other presenters told me how well I did with my presentation. I was proud of myself for getting through it, but I was more proud that I didn’t go completely airheaded after Marshall kissed me.

When we finally got away from the large amount of people, Marshall pulled me in for another kiss.

“So much for keeping it lowkey, huh?” I teased when I pulled away.

“I was caught up in the moment,” he said with a shrug, but I wasn’t completely convinced.

“That speech was uncharacteristically sweet,” I said. “For your public persona anyways. I figured you’d keep it short and sweet and maybe get the show into a little bit of trouble with an unplanned curse word.”

He chuckled. “Well normally that would be how things go. But I meant what I said during my speech: you make me the happiest I’ve ever been. When you said my name I just couldn’t help but feel this unfamiliar surge of happiness and excitement at winning. You know I don’t care about these types of award shows, but the fact that you presented this award to me made me care for just a second. I know I’ll be the talking point for the next few days because of this, but right now I don’t care all that much.”

Tears were welling in my eyes again as I pulled him back to me. “Shut up, you’re gonna ruin my makeup.”

His laugh filled my ears as he pulled me for another kiss. The happiness he said he felt coursed through my veins too. I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else in a moment like this.

When he pulled away he put his arm around me again and started to walk towards the door. “Let’s get out of here. I think I wanna celebrate my win with the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met.”

I smiled brightly at him. “I like the sound of that.”

[msfbgraves]

I still can't bear how Cobra Kai writers make Daniel treat his own son

(This gif below is what Daniel actually would do, of course. And they cut it.)

I have a tic that makes it difficult to enjoy franchises. I may be very aware why some writing choices are made that are in no way internally consistent, but I have this internal need to make it make sense, damn it. (And I'm not even in them, imagine how some of the actors must feel.)

And I know Cobra Kai is writing fanon versions of characters. They're very happy to ignore the franchise they're playing off of to suit their own narrative. I know that, I can see it, their bias is so clear it could be flashing on the screen in neon letters and yet.

Why did they make Daniel, a boy who had hangups about fatherhood, sure, but has been canonically shown to be diligent, compassionate, and extremely loving if he could be bratty to those who'd wronged him

A boy who was raised on the mantra "no such thing as a bad student, only a bad teacher"

into a man who shows these traits to every child he interacts with

But not his own son?

At first sight, he raised a brat. Anthony is disengaged, blunt, dismissive of his father and prone to lying and cheating rather than showing any real effort.

Does Daniel try to correct any of these behaviours? No.

Does he spend any time with the kid one on one?

No.

He spends hours training Robby and Samantha, but Anthony? Nope.

Twice, on the show, the blatant favouritism Anthony perceives when it comes to how he feels less loved than Samantha is called out to Daniel's face. Does Daniel do anything at all to correct this? No!

It struck me how Anthony adores his grandmother and spends a whole dinner curled up in a side hug by her side. I really loved both my grandmothers too but could it be that the kid feels a tad neglected? Hm.

Then, Anthony acts out twice again. First, in the dojo, I'm not saying it isn't hugely annoying to pay someone to do his work with his father's credit card, but here Anthony is, trying to spend some time with his father doing something he has no interest in, just to please him, and Daniel immediately leaves him alone to clean bird shit off cars. Yes I know it is a callback. No, Daniel did not have a history of persistent neglect with Mr. Miyagi at that point.

So Anthony gives up again. What's the point? And if this does come with negative attention, well, that is better than none at all.

And then there is the bullying.

Daniel, and I get this, looks about ready to eviscerate him.

Anthony is suspended and has his screens taken away, though what that's supposed to do to address the root of the issue, God knows. And Daniel does come in to - talk at him. In true Daniel fashion, he takes some of the blame, but does anyone ask Anthony what drove him to do this? No. Daniel here might think there is no point because there is no excuse for bullying, but after his lecture, does he ask anything else? No. He was about to leave and congratulate himself on a good talk and then...

Before I say anything else, no, no, I don't think Daniel would ever strike his kids. Ever. Not. Ever. He'll murder anyone who touches them.

But.

Violently breaking things is a major relationship red flag. Anyone who breaks your things, at this point, is telling you they could break you if they chose to, so watch out.

Would Daniel stop himself before he got that far? Sure. Even this weirdly written one. The OOC one that had one of these other strange outbursts at Robby that Ralph disagreed with.

But does Anthony know that? No.

You know what he does know? That his Dad has a black belt in karate, on top of being naturally stronger than him.

And he's terrified into submission. Which he should have been before, many viewers say, because he was a brat acting out to get some attention. Yes he had to escalate that because nothing worked. No, he shouldn't have involved Kenny. But guys. Daniel's reaction only tells him that neglect can turn into physical harm.

In Anthony's next show of deference, he asks to again spend some time with Daniel at the dealership if need be.

Do we see that...?

In season 5, he comes to no one with his severe bullying problems. The only one who seems to be connecting some dots is Sam. He tells her 'I need comfort food', and later she finally presses him to tell her what is wrong.

Wow that only took five seasons!

And the Doylist reason for all of this is that they wanted Daniel to be a bit of an asshole and they only know to write shitty fathers but, God.

The Watsonian reasons for this are...

Daniel, in his own franchise, is not like this. He is a very considerate son, he is devoted to Mr. Miyagi, he was there for his own father, and when they leave Ralph alone to play Daniel, he is patient and inventive in connecting with children, both his and others... except with Anthony.

What makes Anthony different?

Again I feel that, just as Ralph would have seen Daniel marry Kumiko, he would give his son all the time he never got to have with his own father. Just as he gave him everything he didn't have money wise.

But this, what we get, I can only justify...

If Daniel is envious of his son.

His son looks remarkably like him. But he has everything Daniel never got to have. Two parents. No money troubles, all his (LaRusso) family close by, safety, no responsibility, an unstrained relationship with Lucille. He doesn't need to work hard or fight to not be thrown off his bike. Maybe school is even easier for him than it was for Daniel. And Anthony is perceptive, o boy. He's seen the Cobra Kai in his father.

And he likes it.

So here Daniel has this mini me, who has everything that Daniel would have loved to have himself, thank you very much, who doesn't appreciate it, or him (doesn't he?) and he sees the things that scare Daniel most about himself... sees all his worst traits, things he fought not to indulge in, projected, reflected at himself... A son he didn't plan to have but forces himself to raise, because he is too Catholic to consider abortion...

And he shuts him out. Buys him off. Stops looking.

Wow.

That is a level of misdirected anger and self-hatred that would shock Miyagi. Should shock Lucille. Actually does shock his child psychologist cousin Vanessa.

And I am really, really sorry for the writers' collective Daddy issues, but there was no reason to do this. None. Maybe they cannot imagine anything else but... they could simply not have written Anthony into existence. The character assassination of giving us the emotionally worst possible Daniel who lacks any and all will to deal with his pain... most parents would be happy to give their child what they didn't have. Not envious. It's possible but painful, OK?

Does Sam not have enough going on without having to be a surrogate parent for her brother? Isn't it awful that it is Tory who takes one look at Anthony and says "Go. Protect your brother!" where his own parents will not?

Why did they do that? It really hurts to watch. Turn teenage Daniel, with his heart the size of Sydney Harbour, into this terrible Dad? Teenage Daniel would kick this Daniel in the shins and rightly so.

[thetaekookcloset]

I was reading your old posts and one anon talked about business strategy behind bighit like they deliberately do things to share narrative for particular things. So I went to look at last year's Run episodes and I found it to be so true! Last episode is so much scripted in terms of sitting arrangement, what clips will be shown, which people will be in frame at what point. I am surprised I never noticed this. I am ot7 and my bias is Jimin (he is my mochi 💜) but surprisingly rise in taekook content made me search for them and I stumbled on your blog. I never knew they were close. In the beginning, yes but I thought they aren't close anymore.

Well so I looked at last 3 Run episodes and I saw how three ships were subtly incorporated in the show. Jikook, Vmin and Taejin. Nothing was over the top just the choice of clips like v kissing Jin (v said of course army will like this thing). I was expecting v and jungkook's clip when they were in water park hanging and jimin laughing in background because it's so famous. You can always see it all over internet.

Another thing I noticed was seating arrangement and taekook scene cuts. Like in third last epi when they are singing karaoke v and jungkook stand with V's hand on jungkook's shoulder and then you will see them going back to their seats like someone told them or they changed their mind. In last two episodes they never sat together even though there were a lot of chances (not counting when V sprawled at the edge of the couch). I also saw at one point V approaching to sit where jikook were sitting but at next second V is sitting across the couch. I thought they didn't want to put ships with high tension together but looking at how jungkook's and jimin's cute interaction were captured. I am not sure what to think anymore.

Additionally, in Karaoke episode Jungkook would not help V until he saw V was losing points too much but ready to help others so easily. I am not sure what exactly is their bond. Anyone looking at official content will feel they are not close. In fact if I have to rate ppl close to Jungkook, I would go by this rank- Jimin, Jin, J-Hope, sometimes RM or V and then Suga. Yet looking at behind the scenes I am unable to come to a conclusion. I won't go as far to say to say V and jungkook are in relationship or has the best bond but all these cuts and deliberate placements by bighit is sure raising my eyebrows.

If you don't mind I'll be going through your blog silently and I really appreciate your answering approach.

Of course I don’t mind at all!  I hope the blog is a good resource for you if you decide this is a topic you’re interested in and want to keep digging around in.  We have a lot of great discussions here.

One thing that I personally feel pretty strongly about is consuming content -- any content, BTS or otherwise -- with a critical lens.  Anything created for consumption by others is going to have some sort of intention behind it.  Usually at least part of that intention is to communicate something to the viewer.  People like patterns and stories; we’re very susceptible to narrative, and narrative is a good tool to achieve goals where people are concerned.

I’m generally not one to claim any big conspiracy theories where Big Hit is concerned, but it’s only common sense, in my opinion, that as a corporation with money on the line, they’re going to craft specific narratives to give consumers the impressions that will encourage them to spend more money, without taking too many risks.  They use shows like Run BTS, Bon Voyage, and In the Soop at least partially to do that.

In any case, I definitely agree that there are some eyebrow-raising moments in official content where Taehyung and Jungkook are concerned.  If you do decide to keep poking around on this topic, you’ll likely come across a lot of content that doesn’t come from Big Hit, and you’ll be able to draw more of your own conclusions from there.

Thank you so much for sharing your observations, and feel free to shoot me an ask anytime you like!

[lockefanfic]

Aight my boi you know I had to come through- This time with a bit more seriousness other than my usual YOOOO THAT WAS SOME GOOD SHIT AS ALWAYS LOCKE!! (Which it very much was Ofcourse) BUT now it’s time to make my own predictions. So for me I agree with one of the other asks saying it’s possible that sana isn’t endgame. If she is that would be a cool twist and surprise (I’d love to see how you make that work) but I say she may not be only because he seems frustrated with how she is and he may even feel like the way she acts could carry on past all of the BT events. Which is very fair she has a lot to deal with and it’s possible that it all could go away and she wouldn’t be that way but at the same time she may not change. For Nayeon I can see her being endgame because of that old love/nostalgia, yet if she isn’t it would make sense because that was the past and despite how he is sexually with her it may not be what he wants anymore deep down. Momo? That’s tough idk about her yet. She struggling too like sana although to me momo has more of a chance than sana. Jeongyeon has the highest chance in my opinion (Nad not because she is your bias lol). To me she seems to click with OC extremely well. They get along really well plus she is more than fine with him fuckin other girls and even bringing them into their sessions. From a story standpoint it would make sense. Jihyo? She has a chance but like another ask said, since oc doesn’t work in Seoul/Tokyo it would be tough, then again same for Nayeon. I guess the question would be- would Nayeon quit her job for OC? Anyway we all know TRUE endgame is OC x Jisoo’s OC LOL (Looking forward to the next row chapters fam!)

These last few chapters weren't meant to cancel any of the love interests out, and tbh any of the four of them (except for Jihyo, lol, I never really considered her an option) can still be considered a possibility heading into the last couple of chapters.

If there's an argument to be made for Sana it's that dedication can go a long way. It's a pretty big indicator of dedication/love if someone's willing to burn all those bridges for the sake of being with you; the only question is whether you believe the willingness to burn said bridges is an indicator of their character (and hence something that is a turn off) or whether it is something that you find flattering. That depends on the person, I guess.

Either way we'll find out soon! Thanks for reading and for your support as always, I love the long asks <3

[thecreepiestcarrie]

I've been quite bewildered as to how Johnny Depp lost his appeal against the clearly-biased judgement of Judge Nicol so I went through the official Court of Appeal Judgement. And what did I find there? More examples of this bias against Johnny.

I now have an answer to my question of how did Johnny lose the appeal, with all of the knowledge that we gained during this trial taken into consideration - how could it be upheld that the Sun calling him a 'wife beater' was factually correct?

Because Nicol went the way that the money and all of his not-so-covert connections told him to.

It was Rigga Morris, girl. Completely rigged. You don't just take on Rupert Murdoch's empire and win, even if you have the truth and a wide selection of the public on your side.

Basically it's 14 pages of 'Nicol said this and it's true so nyeh' and the court of appeal just dodging the many holes in his logic/judgement. Nicol is right, Johnny is wrong and everything Scum ever did wrong has a reasonable explanation and she's definitely not a gold digger and that's all that matters. No matter what Scamber says at any point in time, she is correct. Did she just contradict herself? No, she didn't, this is actually what she meant...

Page 3, section 1: Mr Depp did extensive damage to a house which he had rented and wrote offensive graffiti about Ms Heard (shown in photographs), some in paint and some in his own blood. While it does not necessarily follow that angry and jealous behaviour of this kind would involve physical violence against Ms Heard, the Judge evidently regarded it as making her allegations more likely to be true. section 2: He does not explicitly admit acts of assault against Ms Heard, but again the Judge regarded the admissions as making it more plausible that he did in fact commit such acts

A heavy feature of this judgment is the shit-ton of assumptions that are made and then stubbornly stuck to without a clear line from the evidence to the conclusion that was reached.

Page 4, section 10: Mr Caldecott’s (Johnny's barrister) first complaint concerned the treatment of what he said were clear admissions by Ms Heard, recorded in taped conversations, that she had more than once herself been the aggressor in incidents of physical violence between her and Mr Depp. [...] he said that the admissions were important because it was Ms Heard’s evidence throughout that she never initiated any physical violence against Mr Depp (as opposed to responding to violence from him): if that was untrue it was bound to put in question the credibility of her evidence about what happened.

Page 5, section 13: The admissions apparently made in these tapes were relied on in the closing submissions on behalf of Mr Depp at the trial as one of the general matters adversely affecting Ms Heard’s credibility, and the Judge addressed the point [...]

Shit Judge Nicol says:::::

"In her evidence, Ms Heard said that she did sometimes throw pots and pans at Mr Depp but only to try and escape him and as a means of self-defence. She also said at times in Argument 2 she was being sarcastic."

"In my view no great weight is to be put on these alleged admissions by Ms Heard to aggressive violent behaviour. [...] nonetheless true, that these conversations [the taped confrontations] are quite different to evidence in court. A witness giving evidence in court does so under an oath or affirmation to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Questioning can be controlled by the judge. Questions which are unclear can be re-phrased. If a question is not answered, it can be pressed (subject to the court's control) and if still unanswered may be the proper object of comment. None of those features applied to these conversations which, in any event, according to Ms Heard had a purpose or purposes different from simply conveying truthful information. (para 175)"

You can't put weight on to the taped conversations/confessions from Scamber because they did not take place in court... Okay, sure, why not, let's pretend that's how you operate. If that was the case, how come the circumstances behind the creation of the evidence for her case isn't questioned/doesn't impact on how much weight he allocates to them? Why does he disallow the tapes to sway him? But then pays full attention to Scamber's evidence of texts to family/friends and writings in her diary? Selective hearing, but more like selective weighing.

Page 6, section 14: Mr Caldecott submitted that the reasoning in para. 175 showed a fundamentally flawed approach to fact-finding because it gave an unjustified special priority to the status of witness evidence. [...] He also said that the Judge’s approach in this regard was inconsistent, because in many other instances he placed great weight on contemporaneous materials when making a finding against Mr Depp.

It's true and I'm glad he said it, but in the next section, the court of appeal knocks this down. They are sticking to Nicol's bullshit story and they are sticking to it until the ship is completely sunk to the bottom of the ocean with Titanic.

Section 15: We do not believe that that is a correct understanding of what the Judge was saying [...] In our view it is clear that the Judge was making a more specific point about the weight to be attached to these particular statements because of the particular circumstances in which they were made.

Page 12, section 40: If the statement in Ms Heard’s witness statement that the $7m “was donated” to charity [...] is to be understood to mean literally that the full $7m had already been paid, that is clearly contradicted by the further evidence, and her statement was accordingly misleading.

But that doesn't call her credibility into question? Nicol believes Scamber when she says her taped confessions were sarcastic, but doesn't believe that Johnny was speaking in exaggerated falsities when texting a friend about his abuser - Nicol picks and chooses which tone to pay attention to in order to suit his own agenda.

-----

These are just some exerts that I thought were interesting and show the nature of the judgement. I'm not sure how much I will be posting about the UK case anymore (I do have some posts about specific issues sitting in my drafts (about the James Cordon appearance casting doubts over all of AH's admissions, about the audio tapes and why they are ridiculously important, about Johnny's MRSA), but nothing like the other deep dives I was doing), because as I've stated before, I have become convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt of Johnny's innocence and because now that this judgement has been handed down by the Court of Appeals, the whole UK case is all over red rover so it doesn't seem super relevant to keep going on about this trial that is now dead and buried. The evidence that I have gone through and posted here, I can make sense of that. But this judgement and any thing in a similar vein, there's no chance of me ever making sense of that, so shall I just quit while I'm ahead? Yes.

[btsandvmin]

I ship Vmin.

I got a bunch of asks regarding ji/kook again and despite me feeling very tempted to just ignore it all together because it really isn’t what I want to do I decided to write a rant in response in stead. I am sorry to my followers and to the person who sent all these asks, I am sure you didn’t mean anything bad, so please forgive me for being quite rude and blunt in this post. 

I don’t really want to indulge and make people ask more about other ships because as I have said many times it’s just not what I want to talk about. But, I got a lot of asks and it made me frustrated so it resulted in a rant from me. If you don’t like to read about other ships or if you feel like getting aggressive because of other shippers just ignore this post.

I repeat one more time. I know about other ships and their theories. Not everything, but enough to acknowledge they do have weird things that could be real. And enough to notice and see when they have moments without having to watch analysis. I know but it doesn’t interest me. If another ship is real then another ship is real and I am wrong. But please stop coming to me to either get confirmation that “vmin is real/superior” or “X ship has these moments and are more real”.

I feel I need to explain what I personally see as the flaws with most believers in ships and how they analyze and feel confident in them being right. In particular I will speak about ji/kook but this could literally be any ship at all. Vmin too. I don’t want this to be seen as a vmin vs. ji/kook post, but it might look like that simply because Vmin is my preference. Everything in this post is just MY POINT OF VIEW. I could be crazy wrong and use completely false logic, but this is the way I see things and I don’t expect everyone to agree.

Anyways, please be nice and don’t read this at all if you are easily triggered.

This is really messy, I am sorry.

First of all, all big fandoms act the same and do analysis about ships they like. It starts out as a preference (if you admit it or not) and gets rationalized for various reasons. 'I didn't use to ship but they are different' or whatever reason and then you find others with the same ideas and all agree together. You get more convinced because you get validation from others and at the same time get more content to prove you are right. The bigger the ship the more people analyze every detail and thus end up finding pieces that fit their narrative. It's also easier to dismiss things that goes against your beliefs the more secure you feel about your ship. This is literally how it works for everyone who believes in a ship (or conspiracy theories in general). The odds of you being right are very slim. No matter how many people join the group and preach the same thing.

Most things BTS do they do with all members or at least many others. Few things are exclusive and thus how can we know it means one thing when one ship does it and another when your ship does? For most people it’s simply because it has a different vibe or tension. It's really like that though, just your own feelings. Only the things your ship does are special. And even if something they do is unique it doesn't really prove anything, because all relationships can work very differently. Basically to begin with most shippers/believers think their ship is special or different. They can't focus on all dynamics and see what they want to see. They add the pieces that fit into their existing narrative, and if something suddenly doesn’t fit they come up with a fitting excuse. 

You will see for most ships the amount of moments will vary, be up one month and down the next. Have a great year suddenly followed by less moments than they are used to. A lot of people even go from believing in one ship to changing to another ship because they suddenly have more moments. So it looks more real because the amount of moments. At least to some fans, who clearly jump between ships or feel insecure when their ship suddenly have less moments. 

Fans of ships also get emotionally involved as if they are partly living through their ship. Happy when they get moments but worried when they don't. Like it has to be something wrong if they suddenly have less interactions on screen. Some even go as far as getting worried from one day to another when BTS or certain members can have millions of reasons for their behaviour. And that's another thing. Everything the two individuals of your ship does must be related to the other person. If A is sad it means maybe he fought with B. Every little thing, word or interaction is proof and people get so invested they can't see anything else. If everything is possible proof, with the amount of things we get, of course it will be possible for almost any shipper to pick the parts that sound good and fit what they want to believe.

This also works for insecurities about other ships. Every interaction of a rival ship hurts or makes you feel uncertain about your ship. Either you ignore it, try to convince yourself your ships makes more sense, or you feel bad about it. When in reality it's usually mostly about focus and I would argue no relationship in BTS being shown more would ever mean another one is suffering. At least not because of a ship being real. Relationships aren't competitions. For me who ships Vmin I have seen things both from tae/kook, ji/kook and many other ships, even straight ones, that makes me think Vmin is probably not real, or that these other ships could be real. But I have seen this with more ships than one, which says a lot. And I have things about Vmin of course as well that I think makes other ships less likely. That’s why it’s important to remain unsure but open. A lot of ships probably cancel each other out. 

If vmin isn't real, they aren't. But because I believe in BTS's words and actions I can feel happy knowing Vmin feel they are soulmates. I can be happy because I truly think their actions and their love for each other is genuine. No matter what kind it is, and no matter if they are together with someone else or not. 

I have seen theories for basically all ships in BTS and from many other fandoms, and they all bring up similar things, have weird reactions or moments that they apply their own meanings to. I do the exact same thing, only I don't act confident about it but keep it as speculation. I am making a huge Vmin analysis because I want to show it can be done and that Vmin have weird moments too. I do find their behaviour odd or I wouldn't have reacted. But I'm just like everyone else who do shipping analysis and have a bias towards my own preference. That’s why I know I can be wrong and that's why it’s important to not act like I have the facts. 

In the end we still don't know, and we should be okay with whatever might prove to be real. For me one very important thing is that I want to trust and believe the things the boys says. So even if it goes against my ship or what I want, I will trust it. Like how Jimin and Taehyung didn't seem to meet at all during their break. But that also means that I do trust it when Jimin and Taehyung call each other soulmates and when Jimin says he wants to be with Taehyung even after their careers are over. So to begin with this mostly removes the idea that a ship would be played up for any other reason than it's something they like to do and are comfortable about. Basically fanservice exists, but nothing is so played up it's completely fake. Which means I also don't think anything Ji/kook or any other ship does is fake. I personally think Jimin is a person who likes to tease JK and that their bickering is misinterpreted. I think Jimin likes to rile up JK by pushing himself close etc. It's also possible Jimin does things because he knows fans will react, but these things still are done because they find it fun, not with some secret agenda. 

The only way I think it is possible to "hide a ship with another ship" is by doing similar things or shippy things with all or several members or to in certain times perhaps distract from a ship by doing something with another member. But still only things they would feel comfortable doing. This is the important part. I don't think any members would do something they themselves, a possible secret lover or the other members would feel uncomfortable with. This is why jealous JK is basically impossible to me to the degree ji/kookers make it out to be. Same with jealousy in general. There could be some, but too much isn't really something to be happy about. If one half of your ship can't touch or interact with another person without being jealous that's just not healthy. The fact that fans want jealousy to prove a ship to begin with is just toxic to me. For me if these things are real (I don’t think they are but they could be) I don’t think I would be able to stay a fan. Because it would mean BTS go out of their way to do things that aren’t authentic despite feeling uncomfortable about it just to fool their fans. If BTS are lying (because they certainly are in some cases) I think they simply tell white lies or omit parts of the truth. I don’t want to think they make up whole relationships or behaviors to create a different image than reality.

Now I will go into a bit more detail about ji/kook and my personal reasoning behind why I think they are a bit weird if they are real. And some of the problems I see with some ji/kook narratives. I know people are complex and there could be many factors I don’t know about or think about, and that I could be completely wrong or partly wrong. But at least I accept that possibility. So again, don’t try to come to me and convince me of another ship or talk about why they are weird. I really don’t need to hear it. Anyways, about ji/kook and at least the way most ji/kookers seem to explain ji/kook...

The first thing is that I don't see ji/kook being very careful. And though I don't know for sure I would think a gay relationship within the biggest idol group in the world would be something to be careful about. Not just for their own sake, but for the whole group. Especially if we look at the Korean society when it comes to lgbt+ in general. I mean, a lot of the ji/kook moments rely on either ji/kook wanting people to know about them and showing actual hints, or them not being careful at all and accidentally exposing themselves. Most of these moments make ji/kook look either dumb or willing to risk everything for people to know about them. If they want to be together, wouldn't it be more important to feel safe and not get exposed than showing off to their millions of fans? Especially at the height of their career? Of course they are young and could want to be able to show their relationship. But consider the actual consequences if it got out. 

Some things ji/kookers claim about ji/kook include:

Sharing rooms and staying in the same room even when one person is doing a live. When they could easily just leave for a while to not risk getting exposed. 

Getting special engagement rings and getting seen at the store together as well as talking pretty openly about it. (This was also debunked even by ji/kookers I think?)

JK threatening Jimin with showing a picture of himself with a hickey and talking about it openly during a live and then actually proceeding to post said picture. Just them giving hickeys at all seems like a pretty dumb move. 

Ji/kook always sharing a car because they live together. Because everyone already knows they are together. Also that they share it even when BTS are all going to the same hotel because they can't be apart even for a second? (Forget the fact that they don't always share a car and in Korea JK more often seem to share with Hobi.) 

Ji/kook celebrating their anniversary. They have pictures of them celebrating it with members at the dorm and post pictures together on twitter to show fans. Because they have to give hints. 

How Jungkook calls Jimin without hyung or speaks informal sometimes means they are together. But when Hobi does it to Yoongi it doesn't mean anything?

Ji/kook going on a private trip to Tokyo yet showing it off through official channels and getting to talk about it and even getting specifically asked about it during interviews. Doesn't seem very private to me. Again, I suppose ji/kook needs to share their love with the fans and Big HIt is kind enough to help them. 

Following that there is having Jimin be center in other gcf and even have Jimin himself joke and say he is the "main actor".

JK getting tattoos that says JM and Jimin matching JK's tattoos with his own. (Also the number 13 is about ji/kook, not BTS debut date). 

Big hit giving ji/kook the unicorn photoshoot to help people see them specifically in a lgbt+ positive way. (Forget the fact that BTS and Big Hit has done other lgbt+ positive things or hints for many years.)

“Jeonleous” and his tongue poking his cheek out of annoyance every time Jimin breathes next to someone else. Let's ignore the fact JK has a ton of nervous habits, that the tongue thing could mean many different things and that he also does it when neither Jimin nor Tae are present. 

Ji/kook is real because they are always together. Which would imply both of them spend all their time together and need the other person’s constant attention? This again feels more like fans’ wanting to glorify possessive behavior. If they are together all the time, wouldn’t it be better to tone things down a little while at work when a million cameras are filming their every move? I think Ji/kook are close, like spending time together and are comfortable in front of cameras because there isn’t much risk involved.

And many, many, many more. Sorry for sounding bitter about these things. For real, some things could be true, I don't know. I guess ji/kook could be real, but if they are they don't act like it's something to be too careful about. At least not from what I see. Could they hide behind fanservice or rely on people never finding out enough to expose them? Absolutely. But seems a bit risky. Also in contrast, why do Vmin (the best friends) act so weirdly and careful about some things? 

People who come to me with proof for ji/kook or other ships and say 'if you only knew or looked at them you would see'... But no. More or less every single thing a ji/kooker have ever tried to come to me with as proof I already knew, at least to some extent. Other things I have looked up because they have tried to show me. Some things have also been debunked. And not once has it been actual proof. It's always a moment that could easily be interpreted incorrectly. The closest thing would show ji/kook are close and maybe they have shared rooms. But proving ji/kook has shared a room doesn't prove they are married. We know Vmin has shared a room many times too and we know Jimin seems to hate being alone and loves to crash the other members' rooms in general. When Jimin or Tae says they want to share rooms I believe that and from what I have seen it seems Vmin has shown a preference to share rooms over any other ship. So if ji/kook is real, in BV4 when they had the chance to decide where to sleep why did Jimin and Tae end up together? To fool fans? Because suddenly ji/kook sharing rooms would be too suspicious? At least it doesn't make sense if JK gets jealous of everything so the extreme jealousy is definitely not a thing to use as proof. 

Sure there are odd things and theories that could make sense, but the same goes for other ships too. So please if you are insecure about your ship then maybe just let it be. Why do you have to come to me to try and find a reason to either believe or not believe? 

People also claim to have inside information and it spreads. Mostly about ji/kook, but for other ships as well. There are rumors of Taehyung having some on and off relationships. Or people saying Big Hit made fake dating paparazzi shots of Jimin with some woman to make him less suspicious. Of Taehyung being homophobic and anti ji/kook. Some sources also say different things. Some of the same people who shares this info also get things wrong or use edits mixed with real information. But never has anyone been able to produce something that could be actual proof for their claims. It could just as easily be put together by good storytellers. Just because some things prove to be right I don't think these people are reliable sources. Because the information always come from second hand sources who say 'someone close to bts' or 'someone at big hit' etc. told this other person who told me. 

Also, why should I trust someone who claims to love a ship and say they have proof for it, and call themselves a supporter, when they are trying to out a couple who aren't out? Something which could have devastating consequences if it got public. And yet many do exactly that, try to show the truth and expose them, but somehow never show the things they claim make it indisputable? All of these people who knows the truth, who has the receipts and use stalker pictures, not a single one wants to show the actual proof? Because somehow that is crossing the line? But all the other things aren't? Also if this information is spread so easily, how come no one who gets to know this would feel angry by seeing them be gay and try to expose them for real? All of them just happen to be understanding supporters? 

In the end I can't believe these things because they have no proof and some things they say just doesn't match with the things BTS show us. So while it could be truth to it and I could be completely wrong, I will personally rather base things on what I see myself than on hearsay. I watch and listen to BTS and do my own analysis based on the things they say or do. That’s it. If I am wrong I am wrong and then that's fine. That’s why it’s speculation and theories, and not proof.

The ji/kookers also seem to have pretty different timelines, but most agree they have been interested in each other since at least 2014 (mostly Jimin) and that they got together either in 2016 when JK became legal, or around 2017-18 when their moments seemed to skyrocket. Alternatively this was when they told the members but they had been hiding it for a while already. Anyways my point here is that many also say them getting together is the reason for Vmin and Tae/kook changing. Which I could buy, except where in this timeline did Vmin actually change in a way that makes sense for ji/kook? 

For me I think Vmin did seem to change around 2016, when they were basically glued together yet avoided vlives and seemed to become a bit more careful. We even have Jimin and Tae themselves talk about this time as when something changed for the better between them. For me they way I see it if Vmin has something between them I feel they get lost in each other sometimes, which is why when they noticed this behaviour started to be a bit careful around each other. Something we still see today though they seem to constantly push the boundaries. 

Just looking at Vmin's behaviour I don't think ji/kook being real explains it. For example to me it seems Vmin have been avoiding being live together since 2016, doing all kinds of odd things to excuse or avoid it. I could be wrong, but let's say Vmin avoid vlives for some reason. Now, let's say they avoid it because ji/kook is real. If Vmin can't have a vlive because of JK that would imply JK doesn't trust Jimin with Tae, or if Tae doesn't want to do it that Tae doesn't like ji/kook together to the point it affects his relationship with the both of them. In some way it would be ji/kook effect Vmin so much they can’t do something they both can do with other members. But if either is true then why would Vmin still have other moments? And why would both Jimin and Tae call each other soulmates? Would JK not be annoyed with all these other things? Or would Tae be completely fine with saying Jimin is his soulmate but refuse to do a live with him? And why would Vmin's intimacy seem to gradually get worse? Why would they force themselves to hold hands in public when Taehyung himself said in 2016 that doing that with a man would feel weird. To redirect from ji/kook? But the only reason they would have to redirect from ji/kook to begin with is because "they are so obvious". Wouldn't it make more sense to just be careful, rather than to have to force themselves to do something neither party wants to do just to blend in better? This is why ji/kook being real doesn't explain vmin to me. Because if ji/kook are so prone to jealousy, why do things to show their relationship that then lead to them having to force things that they don't want to do to be less suspicious again. It's just a weird narrative for me. Of course ji/kookers could be wrong about some of these things but ji/kook could still be real. But personally vmin still act odd when I look at them.

To me it comes down to the fact that Vmin has a lot of weird behaviours, and most of them could be explained by them being careful or private and unsure about what is ok or not to show. Or with them being fairly carefree and hiding behind their friendship label because they know some things are ok to show. Or sometimes even being so lost in each other or happy or sad that they they can't help themselves. And also that things seem to have changed over time, so slowly people got used to their behaviour and accept it as normal between them. Vmin sang a song about them being soulmates and everyone praised them for being such great friends and even "breaking the norm" of how two male best friends usually express themselves and show intimacy. 

Ji/kook being in the same room while one of them are live vs Vmin trying to avoid being live together. For me out of these two narratives (because neither is proven) Vmin seems more likely to have something to hide. And if they have something to hide, it seems more likely to be them being too close than them having fallen apart or JK hating them together so much they don't dare to be best friends. Because first I don't think they are that good actors, and two I see no reason to fabricate lies. If so it makes more sense to omit some parts of the truth. If Jimin and Taehyung says they are soulmates, then that is what they are. If they are best friends I would expect them to want to spend time together, and yet there are enough weird contradictions here for haters to believe Vmin is fake, because they never hang out etc.

For me ji/kook has a great bond and they love spending time together. It seems easy and carefree. I believe it when JK says he keeps no secrets from Jimin. They love to bicker and tease and I think they know fans ship them. What I don't see is them being careful, or vague or having excuses. I also don't see the members acting particularly careful in regards to ji/kook moments (there are possible exceptions, but I have seen 'careful of shipping moments' with many members and ships). Even Jin saying "are you guys a couple" or other similar to comment on ji/kook seems like an odd way to try and expose them. It's like they don't care at all if they touch upon something rather sensitive. Which makes me think it's not something sensitive. So, to me the conclusion I come to is that if ji/kook is real it's not a big issue if they get exposed. Either they really think they can get away with anything and rarely feel nervous, or they simply don’t care if people find out.

With Vmin I personally feel there are things. And I know it's just my feeling and interpretation. I think Vmin says some things and then act the opposite sometimes. I don't see why having a live together is a big deal. I don't see why Namjoon loves to point out that they are 'such good friends' all the time. I don’t understand why they push each other away sometimes, or stop doing things when cameras are on them etc. 

Of course Vmin has a ton of moments too. Even to the point people don't ship them because 'they show everything so openly'. But that's where I disagree, because while Vmin does show a lot, they also act careful or weird a lot. They are oddly private and has some contradicting things that have even made people think they hate each other or that Vmin is fake.

I don't understand why Ji/kook can have a rainbow themed photoshoot and publish a short movie from their private vacation with a song from a gay artist when Tae isn't allowed to sing his Christmas song with Jimin because the lyrics are basically 'too gay'. I also don't see why Taehyung would want to sing a romantic song with Jimin if he knows ji/kook are together. I don't understand how ji/kook can go out to dinner openly or go ice skating together when Vmin who are supposed to be best friends haven't been seen publicly together for years. If ji/kook who are an actual couple can do it, then so should Vmin. After all, they are saying they are best friends and we sometimes get to hear them or the members mention how close they are or when they have done something. And yet we see Namjoon or Hobi or their other friends with them much more often than with each other. It's because of this people even dare to claim Vmin isn't as close as they want us to think. But then we are back to not being able to trust them again, and I just don't see BTS going this far against their own messages to fake a relationship. Thus I come to the conclusion again that Vmin are simply more careful and private. Because if they are truly best friends they should like and want to spend time together. Basically, because I need to trust BTS for me to even like them I will believe Vmin are soulmates and best friends. But if they are, why are there so many strange things, and why do they seem to be reluctant to be seen alone together? It’s just one example, but I think you get my point.

And again I am not saying Vmin don't have things that might seem like them trying to expose themselves. Like the Christmas song for example, why would Tae even mention it? But to me it's more like he said it out of frustration and he also tried to play it off as no big deal. And same with Tata, I think Tae thought it was sneaky enough to be safe to say. In ji/kook's case it's just blunt. And they know people watch their every move too. Vmin we have actually seen be careful. Not to mention now Vmin can literally hold hands in public and sing they are each other's soulmates and people don't even blink because of their platonic label. But they built up to that gradually. 

I mean of course we have bias and I will think Vmin is superior in various ways because of that. But in the end for me I can't shake how I feel vmin's and the other members' reactions to vmin would at least make more sense if vmin is a couple (or has something to hide or feel insecure about showing at least) than if ji/kook is. Though I really think if there is something there it would be super risky to act on it at all and I doubt they would. I still say no ship being real is probably the most likely, but Vmin seems to walk that thin line between friends or romantic more than any other members. And it’s something we have seen more and more of. Like Vmin notice things are okay and then feel more comfortable showing them. Looking at their personalities, their behaviours, how intimate they can be and the fact that Vmin seem to be the closest according to other members and even having the label of soulmates I say Vmin makes the most sense. This is based on what I know myself because I have seen it or heard it from the members. Others will disagree and that's totally fine. I simply base this on the small portions of their lives we get to see, or not see.

Lastly I will answer all the asks I got in regards to ji/kook, but very very briefly because I think I said most of what I wanted to say already. I am pretty sure they are all from just one person, and your English is a little rough, so I apologize if I might have misunderstood something. Anyways, here goes.

Once again with obvious reasons, but I think they look more obvious because you have seen and heard more people talk about it. There are weird moments for sure, and ji/kook definitely have some theories that could make sense, but I wouldn’t say it’s obvious. Or everyone would ship ji/kook.

Also I find it interesting that you think Jimin had a crush on Tae. Personally I always felt it seemed more like Tae was the one with the crush. Beyond that, it’s possible I suppose, but it sounds more like a fanfiction if I am being honest.

If Ji/kook is dating and Vmin is there to cover, why would JK be jealous? If he knows it’s to help him and Jimin? And if it’s a problem, why use Tae as a cover? Why Vmin? Why not do it with another ship where JK wouldn’t be as jealous. Because clearly Hobi and JK can do whatever and sleep cuddled up. Why would it be neccessary for Vmin to get involved specifically? Especially if it makes people uncomfortable?

As for Saipain it looks a bit weird for sure, but I repeat, wanting to share a room doesn’t make a ship real or Vmin would have been real between 2013-2017. It’s possible they shared or wanted to share a room, but they could have other reasons to no want to show it than them being a couple. This would again also imply they are fairly open and probably out to a lot of their crew, aka not very careful.

I think people dismiss tae/kooks bond too much, all members are close and we know the two of them has said they are close and even have deep talks. Just because we don’t see them a lot on camera doesn’t mean they aren’t close. That being said I do actually agree and think Vmin and Ji/kook seem closer, but that’s based on what we see, and we don’t see everything.

I know ji/kook more than a little… And Vmin do spend time together, it just takes them actually talking about it for us to even know about it. Like in the recent vlive with Namjoon, Hobi and Tae where Tae revealed Jimin was actually with him in London 2018 when they took pictures at night. We had no clue, and if Hobi hadn’t said he didn’t remember and Tae had to explain it more, we might not have gotten to know Jimin was there either.

I do agree Vmin seem to be apart a lot and that they didn’t meet during the break etc. But if we use the break as an example, Jimin was gone for most of the time only meeting JK briefly, and yet when they filmed BV4 it seems Jimin was pretty needy and keeping close to Tae like he really missed him a lot and needed to be close. They even chose to sleep in the same bed together when ji/kook just as well could have done it if Jimin just picked a different room. But no, he even changed from the room he wanted because Tae liked the other one.

It’s complicated for sure, but maybe we are all just over analyzing and making things complicated? If you learned more about ji/kook have fun with that. I am honestly not interested. If there ever is a ship that comes out as real I will support it and I will be ok, until then (and I doubt such a day will come) I will enjoy Vmin as soulmates.

Also if JK is jealous of Tae despite them knowing each other for so many years, then ji/kook probably won’t last. Because being jealous because your boyfriend spends time with his best friend just shows you don’t trust your boyfriend.

I have no idea if Sweet Night has anything to do with Jimin, but if it is isn’t it kind of shitty to write a song to show you are in love with your best friend if said best friend is together with your other friend and co-worker? Especially after having a song with your best friend about how you want to be together forever and are soulmates? No wonder JK is jealous with a narrative like this.

The end of that interview is just Jimin being Jimin and teasing as usual to me. It’s similar to when he is fishing for more compliments from Namjoon. Maybe it’s something, but I personally don’t see much in it.

Also if Jimin is using Tae, and especially if Tae is uncomfortable then that is some real sad reality so I see why you would be sad. Strange though how Tae seems to be the one who thinks he doesn’t give enough in their relationship and calls Jimin an angel and the warmest person he’s ever met. Maybe Taehyung is just bad at reading people and don’t mind being used? But that seems to go against his otherwise very rebellious personality. Or maybe he is refusing to play along and that’s why people say he seems to be so cold towards Jimin, but then they have some serious problems they need to sort out because that isn’t healthy.

Vmin have different personalities. For me I think Jimin is loud with everyone and that’s why he allows himself to be loud with Tae too. Meanwhile Tae used to be super loud about his relationship to Jimin, but has tried to tone it down or hold back. Just my theory of course, but there are also times Jimin is the one pushing Taehyung away, so their weird push and pull behavior is something I find hard to explain. Also if Tae doesn’t want to, and if ji/kook get jealous about it why would they try to force Vmin to begin with?

Vmin/kook is weird. Maybe they all do have some drama of weird feelings that need to be resolved, but honestly we will probably never know. And it’s not really something we should need to know either. For me I enjoy all of BTS, and I especially love the bond between Jimin and Taehyung. I love BTS because they are so genuine, so if I start to think they are lying to us to the extent some of these theories would require then I would probably stop being a fan. As you say I refuse to think Vmin’s love is fake, because there is too much to show the complete opposite. You don’t have to try and ease me into a possible future where we learn another ship is real and not Vmin, because as long as their love is genuine I will still love their bond. Also, I always preach we should be open to whatever might be real, so obviously I am aware I could be wrong and Ji/kook could be together. I have said so many times. So again, please don’t feel the need to show me other ships to convince me another ship is real or makes more sense. It’s not what I am here for.

I know many will be sad/disappointed if their ship isn’t real, that’s why we shouldn’t get so fixated on having the right answer to begin with. Not everyone can be right, can they? We should be able to love Vmin without needing to have their relationship be romantic. Just try to enjoy and appreciate them together and the love we know they share.

I honestly didn’t understand this very well, maybe I am too tired. But again, many ships have moments that doesn’t make sense or that look awkward. People just zoom in and interpret some moments a lot more than others. As for Ji/kooks jokes/fanservice I do think it is mostly them trying to rile each other up for fun. They want to get a reaction, but the other one tries to resist. Usually this is Jimin directing it towards JK and getting close physically while JK tries not to react like some sort of showdown, while JK seems to go more for actual teasing like “Jimin is tiny” or playing “Lie” to rile Jimin up. Anyways, I see a lot of teasing between ji/kook for sure, but maybe that’s why they don’t seem like a long term relationship to me as well. Unless they have a kink to do that only for cameras or something. If Ji/kook is real then they shouldn’t have to tease to get attention so much if you ask me, at least not after being together for years. This is why Vmin being more diverse and soft, and their change from their younger more rowdy relationship is the kind of development that at least I personally see as more likely with a long term relationship where both parts grow and adapt together.

Not saying Ji/kook hasn’t gotten close and don’t have really intimate and sweet moments, they do for sure. But their main dynamic seem to be teasing, which makes them an interesting ship for sure, but for me at least less likely to be real.

There you all go. I did something I have avoided for a long time, which is doing direct comparisons and reasons for why I put one ship above another. Please don’t use this as a chance to hate on either relationship or shippers who don’t agree with you. I am sorry for this mess, and I might actually remove it later because I am not sure this is something I want on my blog.

Please, just remember, I have my reasons to ship Vmin. Other people have their reasons to ship other ships. It’s mostly about preference and focus, so let’s just try to enjoy our ships without having to worry or get involved with “rival ships”. Because BTS all love each other, so we should trust in what we see and enjoy it no matter what they might try to keep from us.

Thanks if you managed to read all of this and are still here. This was me being frustrated. Sorry.

I ship Vmin. Simple as that. 95z is love. Good night.

[tae-cup]

Cupid’s Blind Eye | Of Eternity and Euphoria (3)

Pairing: Park Jimin x Reader

Summary: A demigod looking for love meets the god of love himself. 

Warnings: N/A. This might be the fluffiest one so far. wait I lied it’s not fluffy at all. It’s really angsty. I’m sorry. 

Word Count: 5.4k words 

A/N: I have a lot of ideas for this series. So much so, I’m ignoring my other series. Like Hamartia and The Pact which I was s u p p o s e d to start by now. Smh this is what happens when I have too many ideas. I’m planning a spin off series for a Male!reader for this...I also wanted to tie this more into the overarching plot, but it’s okay, I’ll get you more park jimin okay. Consider me your supplier.

AS:ASJFLKWJQ:W it deleted my first draft >:( 

Other:

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Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; and therefore is winged cupid painted blind - William Shakespeare

-

-

Your knees hurt already. It had been all of 15 minutes, but the gravel under your legs wasn’t exactly comfortable. You had spent the last hour praying for the god of love to show himself and you fell to your knees desperately in the last 15. 

“Oh, god of love.” You drawled sarcastically, ready to leave the dilapidated altar. “Answer my prayers.” You practically rolled your eyes, sick of this nonsense. 

You stood slowly, realizing he probably wasn’t going to show himself any time soon. You swiped the gravel off your knees, not noticing the presence behind you. 

“You should know not to be so disrespectful to your gods, darling.” A sly voice called. You froze. No way. When you turned to look, a man leaned against the pillars of the altar. He radiated lust and love, an inhuman aura. There was no doubt this was the god of love, lust, and passion. 

And unlike him, you radiated a sort of pure aura; compared to him, of course. It drove him mad. 

“Oh.” You were at a loss for words. His build was literally of the gods and his face, oh his face. You couldn’t find a single flaw in his face. From his adorable nose to his plump lips. You found yourself staring at his features for way longer than necessary. He smirked. This was a typical response to his appearance. 

“Why do you seek me out?” He stepped forward, peering into your eyes. 

“I want to know my soulmate.” You clenched your fists. Everyone you knew already found theirs. Your friend, Jennie, had explained that the god of love had helped her, but you didn’t believe her. You thought she was pulling your leg. The god quirked his head to the side. 

“Why do you need to know that?” 

“Because I’m sick of being alone.” You admitted, mouth feeling awfully dry as you nervously shifted from foot to foot. 

His gaze softened, heart thumping. 

“You won’t be alone forever.” 

“It feels like it sometimes.”

“You’re a demigod.” It suddenly clicked. Your blatant disrespect of the gods, the odd aura surrounding you. Almost godly, but not quite. Not many demigods had a good connection to the gods. They were often cast aside, looked over, thought of as wannabes when many just wanted to live their lives. His altar wasn’t any different than the other crumbled ones around, the only indicator was the Greek letters above, but only a demigod would be able to read that. 

“And you’re a god. I’ve come to learn that it doesn’t matter who you are, we all die in the end.” You frowned, thinking of your godly parent, one that had faded a long time ago, sentenced to eternal darkness for the atrocity of giving birth to you. However, being a demigod came with its perks. As long as you stayed healthy, you had longer lifespans while staying youthful. You had stopped aging around 25, but now you were around 60. You would likely begin aging around 100 and then die around 200. You had lived a long life so far without finding love. At first you thought it was possible, but as the years went on, no one gave you that spark, that burning sensation, that claimed them as your soulmate. 

“Listen.” You sighed, “I just want to know if they exist. I’ve spent years searching and I thought fate was supposed to bring us together. Are they to be born in another timeline? Shall we never meet?” 

The god of love frowned at your lack of faith in him as a god. He stepped forward, close enough for you to make out his face in detail. He radiated love, lust, and passion. His eyes were intense, but you didn’t find yourself scared. In fact, it was almost comforting. He was the definition of love. 

“Do you have so little faith in me? Fate has brought you here.” He gently reached out and touched your shoulder. He just needed to check. It was silly to think that the god of love, could not seem to find his lover. There. That spark, that burn. It spread like a wildfire, consuming your everything. It felt like your atoms had rearranged, yearning to be completed by him. 

You couldn’t do anything except stare at him. There was no way you were fated to one of the gods whom you so dearly despised. The gods had abandoned you as a child. Was this some cruel punishment? He softened his expression, taking in your frustrated form. Scared, worried, and anxious were reactions he expected from his soulmate, but anger was not one. 

“I don’t have to be with you, you know?” You said bitterly. “I can choose to stay away. Not all soulmates stay together.” 

Your words clearly had an effect on him because he nodded and stepped away. His eyebrows knitted together in confusion and hurt flashed across his face. 

“I won’t force you to join me, but please reach out if you change your mind. You know where to find me.” He gestured to the altar. He, out of everyone, knew that you could put two perfect people next to each other in a room, but you couldn’t force them to love each other. Love was a tricky thing and Jimin knew it best. “Just ask for Jimin.” 

Then he was gone, the wind seemingly taking him away. You rushed forward, looking for that sneaky god, but you couldn’t locate him. You had to admit you felt bad about reacting that way. He didn’t expect this either. With a sigh, you called out to the stones. “I’m Y/N. Lovely to meet you, Jimin.” 

And of course he heard you. His eyes trailed your back as you ran back into your small town. It was one of the last towns who truly believed in the gods, that’s why so many had altars up. A smile made his way onto his face. Now it was just wait and see. 

-

-

“Oh come on. You are way too boring, Jimin.” The fiance (I’m sorry I don’t have accents on this computer >:( ) of Yoongi rolled her eyes. 

“___, You must understand, love just doesn’t work like that, You have to let it happen.” 

“I bet she wants you to chase after her.” ___ continued. “Here, invite her to the wedding. She can be your plus one!” 

“You’re too kind. I fear she may be afraid of the underworld.”

“Didn’t you say she’s a demigod?” Yoongi’s fiance quirked her head to the side. She was a human before a goddess. She had no bias against demigods and Jimin felt she was the best to approach about his encounter. 

“Yes.” 

“Then I doubt she’ll even bat an eye at the underworld.” She viewed her nails, thanking the workers and standing from the salon. “You came all the way to the human world just so you could whine about your love life to the goddess of the underworld. Seems right.” 

Jimin scoffed, crossing his arms defensively. He was at a loss for words, however, and he bit his lip. “I came to you because she seems more human than god and I wanted to know your experience.” 

“Well, Yoongi basically kidnapped me, but not really. I just knew I wanted to go with him. Then he and I hit it off from there. I fought with Taehyung, stirred up some shit, and now I’m going to be the downfall of Olympus.” 

The other gods didn’t like her joking about the downfall of Olympus, but Jimin could always laugh. 

“At least my nails will look good while it happens, yeah?” 

The love god laughed along with her and the two walked over to the park. The park, known as Plyosum Park, was a great hotspot of godly energy. It was the quickest and easiest way to get to Olympus. 

“Now, I must be going.” She smiled, “But, have you ever thought, Jimin, that she’s no more human than she is god? Maybe she just wants to be treated as the person she is; a demigod. That’s why I don’t think I can help you much. I wish you luck, however.” She sent a small wave to him before ghostly hands reached up and dragged her under.

 Jimin sighed. She had a point. He’ll just treat you like any person. He let his wings grow out as he prepared to travel back to Olympus. They were a feathery white with golden flakes scattered in between. Many called him cupid for this, but he preferred the name Eros. 

-

-

You opened the letter with caution. It had appeared on your desk when you arrived home and it definitely hadn’t been there before. The handwriting looked familiar, though you couldn’t place your finger on it. 

Dear Y/N, 

         I am writing to you today because the god and goddess of the underworld are getting married. They have requested I bring along someone and of course my first thoughts were of you. It would be lovely if you are able to join me, but it’s quite alright if you don’t feel comfortable. Please consider my offer, but I will not hold it against you if you choose not to come. 

                                                                                     Best,

                                                                                    Jimin

You had to chuckled at his formal phrasing, but you couldn’t blame him. He wanted to give you space and you respected him for being so cautious to your boundaries. It wasn’t expected of the god. After all, he was a god. He could have just kidnapped you on the spot. Maybe he just understands love doesn’t work like that. That made more sense. You carefully wrote back. 

My dearest Jimin, 

               I would be honored to attend such a momentous occasion. Sadly, I seem to be at a lack of formal wear suitable for this kind of event, what do you suggest?

                                                                                      Best,

                                                                                     Y/N

Of course you had to shoot back with your own formal tone. You hoped he understood the sarcasm in it as you hiked to the only place you knew he visited. His altar was old, crumbling, very un-beautiful for the most beautiful god you knew. Then you remembered that you would be meeting many beautiful gods and goddesses in a short time. 

You placed the far messier letter down at his altar and hurried back to the village. Jimin was waiting, hoping to catch you, but you were gone before he could even speak. He bent down and slowly picked up the letter. He hastily tore it open, smiling fondly at your words. It was a shame he didn’t get to see you properly before you rushed off. 

It was in your nature, as a demigod, to be skiddish around most things; though you seemed to have more of a fight in you than other demigods. The issue was that demigods didn’t fit in anywhere. The gods despised them and regarded them as abominations, hybrids, wannabes. The humans weren’t much better, fearing anything they considered other. Demigods would rarely be able to rest without being hunted by one group or another. 

Jimin looked to the middle distance, thinking about what outfit would best suit you. He wanted you to fit in with the other gods and goddesses. While he was a great believer in “love is love” other gods may try to bring you down simply because you were a demigod. It made him feel ill to think of what terrible things could come your way because of your mother’s mistake, not that you were a mistake. He mentally scolded himself. He was constantly on the fritz of checking himself and making sure he said the right things. 

He shook his head, returning to his place in the clouds. 

-

-

When there was a knock at your door, you jumped in surprise. It was not often that the village people visited you. You lived a lonely existence, but you decided this was fine. 

“For: Y/N.” You read carefully, surveying the package on your doorstep. You glanced around, eyes flicking to the house next door and traveling down the empty road. Hurriedly, you grabbed the package and hauled it inside your house, slamming the door shut. 

The box was more of a rectangle. It was long and flat and there was no return address. You had a feeling you knew who had delivered it. You walked to the kitchen and grabbed a pair of scissors. Then you approached the package, unsure of how to open it. If this was what you thought it was, you didn’t want to damage it. You gnawed at your lip, brows furrowed in concentration as you painstakingly cut through the thin strips of tape. This is ridiculous, just rip it open. You couldn’t bring yourself to do that, however. You didn’t want to rip the contents. So you continued your work before the box flaps finally undid themselves. 

Your breath caught in your throat as you looked at the dress. It was a light pink, an innocent color. You rushed to your room to try it on. Of course it fit perfectly. It had a tight bodice, hugging the upper half of your body in a flattering way. Then the rest of the material flowed from the bodice. Layers of tulle and silk fluttered to the ground. In the box also came a delicate silver crown, headband, thing. The silver was twisted into delicate branches that curved every which way, forming a sort of bramble. It looked so elegant and graceful. The accessories that came with the dress included silver earrings and bracelets. The most important was a necklace. It was an graceful, thin, silver chain, but at the bottom it was weighed down by a light pink gemstone. It seemed to glow, like a beating heart. You didn’t expect anything less from the god of love. You were stunning. 

You couldn’t wait to wear it to the wedding in a few days. Jimin would surely be impressed. You found yourself blushing girlishly at the thought of impressing him. You wanted him to want you. To see his eyes light up when you entered a room. To kiss him. You gently placed your fingers on your lips, thinking of his plush ones on yours. You knew he would oblige you if you asked, but you had only met the once and the soulmate bond was inexplicably strong already. You were worried it would consume you if you let it. Would you still be standing if it did? 

-

-

Days go by and now you stand at his altar. It’s desolate, looking lonelier than ever before. You shift nervously, having done your makeup to reflect the lightness you were sure he wanted to portray. You knew he was trying to get the other gods to like you and you were still wary of meeting them. However, you promised yourself that you would try, even if the other immortals didn’t. You didn’t want to pace, having already painstakingly made sure your dress wasn’t muddied on the way up. Where is he? 

You were beginning to worry. Little did you know, Jimin was freaking out. He was pacing and getting far too worked up for a god. 

“Hyung! What if-what if she gets scared and doesn’t want to see me again?” He whined to the sky god. He strutted up and down the hallway that led to his altar. He knew you were there, he could feel it, he just couldn’t bring himself to step through. 

“Jiminie, she’s a demigod, she’ll be okay.” Jin squeezed his younger friend’s shoulder. Jimin had trusted Jin enough to tell him about you. He thought of telling Namjoon, longing for the elder’s advice more than anything, but there was something sneaky about that god that held him off. 

“What if she doesn’t like me?”

“Why would she show up if she wasn’t interested?”

Jimin ran a hand through his hair and Jin could tell he was about to complain more so he stepped in. 

“Hey, you’ll be okay.” He said softly, pushing the god of love towards the door. Who knew that such a suave man was so...scared of love? “If you’re worried about jumping off the deep end and drowning,” Jin had heard that falling for your soulmate often felt that way. “Then it’ll be okay. You’ll learn how to breathe underwater.” 

The elder god then took the, now quiet, god by the shoulders and steered him down the hallway. The god of love took one heavy step after another. “Go, you’ll be late otherwise and that won’t do any good to lighten the other gods’ positions on her.” Jin said, almost scolding. The younger god just kept his mouth shut, nodding way too easily to his friend. 

“Wait, Hyung-”

“Go.” 

Then he was shoved through the doorway. 

-

He stumbled straight into you, hands reflexively reaching out to stable you. You gasped in surprise, heat rising to your cheeks. 

“Jimin! I thought you weren’t coming.” You said in a huff. The god stood there sheepishly, scratching his head. 

“Right, I’m so sorry, I was...” Honesty is the best in any relationship. “...I was nervous.” 

You tilted your head to the side. Usually it was the other way around with all the assholes you’d dated in the past. They were always entitled, never asking you about anything. 

“Oh, I see.” You said awkwardly. “Well, it’s getting late.” You drifted off. Then you noticed him staring at you. Your cheeks flushed pink again at his gaze. It was intense, searching, as it took in your outfit. You heard him let out a soft breath. 

“You look...ravishing.” He breathed, finally putting into words how he felt. But nothing could describe how you looked. You looked like a goddess. Perfection, beauty, grace, intelligence, all in one. He swallowed, trying to keep himself in check. He held out his hand, “Well?”

You hesitated, looking at his soft hands. Hands that had never worked a day in their lives. You cautiously place your hands in his and he pulled you close. 

“Let’s go.” He murmured. How he managed to make two words sound so enticing was lost on you. 

-

-

“Pleasure to meet you, Ms...?” The goddess in front of you purred, holding out her hand. She somehow made it seem condescending. You and Jimin had been glued to the hip since you arrived, but he had briefly left to get drinks, leaving you to fend for yourself. Every god and goddess in the room was intrigued by you. You just kept thinking back to how extravagant the ceremony had been, but you had been more taken with how gracious the bride was. She was so bright compared to the god of the underworld, but somehow they got along. 

“Y/N.” You smiled, your lips pressed together. You looked, and in someways were, like a goddess, but everyone knew there was something different. Your impostor syndrome was driving you mad. 

“Right.” The feline-like goddess strolled away. You turned, trying to ignore the headache you had, only to bump into another god. He looked startled, jumping back quickly. He had an airy quality of innocence and bright light around him. He was handsome, devilishly so. 

“Oh! I’m so sorry.” You exclaimed genuinely, looking at the god with confusion. He had this air of familiarity about him that you couldn’t quite place. 

“No, no, it was my fault. I wasn’t watching where I was going.” He said shyly. Then an arm wrapped around your waist, a drink being handed to you softly. The man before you got visibly more pale at the sight of the god holding you. He didn’t seem scared, just sad, maybe even heartbroken. “Oh, I see.” He nodded quietly, mood doing a whole 180.

Jimin grimaced as he watched the other man retreat. He felt his heart strings tug, but pushed the pained feeling away. You could sense the tension so you carefully unwrapped yourself, taking his hands. 

“Let’s dance.” You said softly. You weren’t sure what just happened, but it didn’t feel like your place to pry. As you place your hands on his shoulders and he planted his firmly on your waist, he let out a sigh. 

“I know you’re curious, you can’t hide things from me.” He glanced around as you both blended into the crowd of other couples slow dancing. “That was Agape.” 

You nodded slowly. That’s why you felt so familiar. Anyone who was close to Eros understood Agape well. 

“Is that was he goes by?” You knew Agape to be the innocent love, the first love, and Eros to be a more sexual love, one filled with desire. You also knew that Jimin didn’t go by Eros, he went by Jimin. People often got him mixed up with Agape, claiming him as cupid, but Agape usually handled first love scenarios. 

“No.” He said quietly, as if losing his will to speak. “He... he goes by-” He suddenly cut himself off. “Actually, he doesn’t like it when people refer to him by his real name. Just know that I like you now. You don’t need to worry about him.”

You frowned, eyebrows knitting together. “I never thought he would take you away from me? I was just interested.” 

“Ah, yeah, there’s been...tension.” He didn’t give you any more explanation so you sought to change the topic. 

“Tell me about the other gods.” 

He seemed glad to change subjects. Instead, he told you about Seokjin, the friendly sky god who knew of your predicament. Then he went on about his Taehyungie, Kookie, and then his hyungs. You smiled warmly at all his fond remarks, discussing them as if they were his blood relatives. It humanized them, though you weren’t sure if that was intentional on his part. You had just warmed up to the idea of meeting these gods when someone screamed. 

-

-

It wasn’t a happy scream. It was a blood curdling, ear piercing, shriek. A goddess ran from the entryway, clearly alarmed. You jumped and Jimin’s hold on you tightened. 

You could see Taehyung pull his lover closer and Yoongi pushed his wife behind him. Other gods were taking defensive stances, eyeing the goddess warily. She was obviously a low level god, her aura faint and you were sure she was to die out soon. Seokjin carefully approached her like a wounded animal. Being the oldest, he had this responsibility; to meet all threats to his circle with full force. 

“Ah, Ms. Lee, what troubles you today?” 

The entire room stilled, watching Ms. Lee carefully. Seokjin spoke calmly, but there was a fierceness to his voice, a demanding power. 

“We’re under attack up above. They’ll be here any minute!” She was inconsolable. You gripped Jimin’s arm and he held you impossibly closer. And attack? By who? The enemies of the gods were long gone and any god who tried to cause trouble was sure to be eliminated quickly. All the gods seemed troubled except a certain war god.

“Great! Then we’ll go to war!” He shouted, anger in his voice. Being the war god, you were sure it was his natural voice. Jimin started radiating a more dominating aura. You realized then that he had hidden most of it as to not freak you out. Now he glowed a luminescent light pink. You knew he was quite literally a lover, not a fighter. 

“Now, now, how do we know this isn’t just a set up?” Yoongi narrowed his eyes, clearly not wishing to discuss war on his wedding night. 

“Well either way we’d still be under attack.” The girl beside Taehyung breathed. She had a point, you couldn’t deny that. Jungkook’s eyes met briefly with Taehyung’s lover and you could almost see the spark of tension despite being a little ways away. Taehyung put himself between the two subtly. You had a feeling there was a story there. 

“Jimin?” Your voice was a whisper as to not break the very thin surface tension of the room. He squeezed your hand in response to tell you he was listening. “Are we in danger?” Your heart beat rapidly. You knew you were the most human here. You were strong, but you wouldn’t last a second against a god. Okay, scratch that, you might last two seconds, being a demigod, but you were still severely disadvantaged. You didn’t want to a) be a burden and b) be killed. 

“I’ll keep you safe, love.” He murmured quietly, leaning down and pressing a kiss on the top of your head. You felt your body heat up, wishing those lips to be on yours. You just nodded along, not trusting yourself to say anything else. Then there was a bang outside and the sound of the guards running. You turned to him. eyes wide. 

Taehyung was already pushing his lover and Yoongi’s wife together, having another god usher them somewhere safe. You paused, wanting to join them. You even saw Yoongi’s wife turn and look at you expectantly. All the gods and goddesses who valued their lives were running. There was another bang and it was chaos. Those who had been frozen in place were now running and those who wished to fight were materializing their weapons. Jimin looked between you and the door, clearly debating. You gently pushed him towards his friends, knowing he wouldn’t want to leave his brothers. 

Then you pressed a quick kiss on his cheek. He flushed red. 

“Maybe you’ll get a kiss on the lips if you come back unscathed.” You joked, winking playfully as if he wasn’t about to go out and face...whatever was behind that entryway door. He didn’t respond, just nodding firmly. You rushed to join the other two women who were considered V.I.P.s because of their status and relationships to the inner circle. As you were ushered out of the room, you heard the door burst open and you prayed Jimin was safe. 

-

-

You shivered, the dress not doing any good to keep you warm. The women beside you had hardly spoken a word to you except one, who was the bride herself. She had introduced herself to you and then gone quiet. Obviously, she was worried for her new husband. The other woman was shaking like a leaf. You were surprised the relationship between her and Taehyung worked, but you knew love worked in mysterious ways. The bride offered you a small smile, pulling off her pristine white cardigan and handing it to you. You thanked her lowly before resuming your staring contest with the wall. 

It was a nice room, a library somewhere even more underground than the underworld. The goddess of the Earth was obviously more wary of you than the one of the underworld. Though, from what Jimin had briefed you on, she had once been a human too. You were all worried sick for your loved ones, of course. No one could think of much else. The constant shouting was driving you over the edge. You just wanted some peace and quiet. 

Having always been introverted, you didn’t enjoy crowds for long periods of time. Keeping to yourself and staying out of the way was the best. As much as you disliked the gods, you and the women in the room were sharing a bond. A bond of fear. You were quite the opposite from Jimin in that way. He was a very social person, always going out of his way to talk to people, his words always smooth and graceful. You, on the other hand, were just...there. You stumbled over your words, rambled, and had trouble concealing your emotions as well as him. 

There was a knock on the door. You all looked at each other, eyes wide and waiting for the password to be spoken. There was none. It’s not them. You mouthed. The door flew open before you had time to react. You counted your seconds. Two seconds against a god. You had two seconds. 

You were just confused, however, when you were met with a familiar face. 

“Mom?” 

-

-

The long forgotten goddess didn’t even flinch at the anger in your expression, nor the tears that betrayed your pain. It was all too much. She had changed so much. Once the goddess of wisdom, the original goddess long before Namjoon, she held herself with grace. But her frame all bones, no fat, her face was gaunt, and she looked liked she had just walked out of a halloween store. Your breath caught in your throat as she grasped your arm, hard enough to cause a whimper of pain. The other women were forced to follow along as well. 

She escorted you out to the ballroom. You felt yourself go pale, stomach dropping to the floor as you surveyed the room. Blood, everywhere. You couldn’t tell whose was whose. Gods are gods, but they bleed. And when they die, they must wait to be reborn once more. You felt your heart clench, seeing the inner circle on their knees. They looked defeated. Seokjin was comforting a sobbing girl, only to have her ripped away and whisked somewhere else. This made the elder god snarl, but he stopped almost immediately after looking at their captors. And who wouldn’t? 

They were ghastly creatures, looking like demons out of a novel of pain and horror. Some of them had melted skin, others had hollow faces and haunting stares. All brandished with various “K”s on their bodies. You noticed your mother had one on the side of her neck. The gods were arguing with someone, but you couldn’t make out everything, the argument in full on Greek. Then there was a loud cough. Your mother threw forth the other two girls first. You watched Taehyung and Yoongi’s eyes go wide, before going back, completely feral, to arguing. Then your mother pulled you in close. 

“Y/N.” She said coldly, despite her seemingly motherly embrace. “You have disappointed me greatly, I pray Kronos spares you.” Her lips were a thin line as she threw you to the ground too. You tripped over the debris and landed on your hands and knees. You looked up, meeting the eyes of Jimin. 

You saw a quiet fury. You knew Jimin was diplomatic, he wouldn’t yell, but you could feel his anger from across the room. He mouthed ‘I love you’. And you frowned a little. This was not where you wanted to be confessed to. You wanted him to say to you, alone, and secluded. You selfishly wanted that. Now the enemy had stolen your first I Love Yous as well. 

“Put her with the others.” You understood that part. The masked leader gestured to an underling who unceremoniously dragged you over to the other women. You huddled together as they shoved you into a cage with the crying girl from earlier. Yoongi’s wife wasn’t crying, but she did seem to be in a state of shock. Taehyung’s lover was crying, trying to conceal her sniffles. You gently shrugged off the cardigan from earlier, handing it to her. She took it quickly, hiding her face. You even heard the smallest thank you. Underlings surrounded you like specimen, watching you like you were zoo animals. 

“Yoongi!” The bride called out, panicked. You felt it too. There was something bad coming. Then the cage moved and you felt nauseated from the sudden movement. You panicked fully for the first time. Where were they taking you?

“Jimin!” You screeched, hand stretching out. His eyes widened farther. 

“Y/N!” He called back, fighting the restraints and lunging towards the cage. 

Taehyung’s girlfriend sobbed loudly and Taehyung looked over, concern evident as he struggled to reach out, mental focus just on getting to his lover. 

“I love you!” You cried. “Please look for us, don’t give up on us.” Came out your broken plea. 

“I’ll search the ends of the universe just to see your face, Y/N.” You heard him say. The underlings restrained him and you sat back, feeling defeated already. The others knew you weren’t a goddess and they immediately babied you, knowing your body to be far more fragile from theirs. Tae’s girlfriend shot you small smiles of encouragement and you did so in return. Yoongi’s wife rubbed your back and the third mystery woman remained silent as you were driven to gods know where. 

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Last minute A/N: OKAY OKAY I admit it, I didn’t give this...a great happy ending. BUT BUT BUT I promise you a happy ending in the future-