#only for her to reveal he's been wearing clown shoes as well all this time

[taradactyls]

Darcy goes to the Netherfield ball expecting he’s going to spend an evening with the most annoying people he’s ever met but at least Elizabeth 🥰 will be there and he can have one dance with her.

Then her family is worse than ever expected (there’s a COUSIN now too???) and his bff might get tangled up in it all because her mum is trying to throw the eldest sister at him. And Elizabeth spoke positively about WICKHAM!! Yet he’s still so 🥰 about her he thinks it’s a good idea to abruptly bail on the whole neighbourhood for awhile so he doesn’t get sucked into the clown show and can save his bff from the same fate while he’s at it

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

Badass || Bill Denbrough x Reader

Day 2 of Fictober

Pairing: Bill Denbrough x [gn] Reader

Requested: how about you do a bill x reader where the reader is a badass but still in the losers club???? just came up with it!!! btw love ya work and love ya!!!!

A//n: Aw thank you so much! That’s so sweet of you. Love you too darling, hope you like it 💛💛💛 and thanks for being so patient like the rest y'all 😘 [also i am in no way a badass so I’m sorry, I tried lol] edit: OKAY IM ACTUALLY SO PROUD OF THIS, HOLY CRAP?? And again, i finished and pressed saved draft 30 SECONDS before midnight, so fight me this counts lol i just had to set up the title and tags and stuff on my computer before posting. anyways, thanks for waiting for this request, i hope you enjoy this, like i said, im actually surprised at how proud of this one i am!

Fictober Prompt: “that’s the easy part”

Warnings: Blood

“ROCK WAR~!”

The next thing you knew, rocks were soaring across the stream straight for your head. Luckily for your skull, your reflexes were faster than you remembered and you managed to duck before a giant stone could knock you out.

And yet you still heard a thump?

You peek out from behind your arms, looking behind you to see Richie laying flat on his ass, his glasses askew. You winced before you caught sight of a giant rock near his foot and quickly made a grab for it.

Your glare stretches across the stream, settling on the leader of the bigoted pack. You kissed the rock as you met his eye, a devilish smirk stretching across your face as you wound up. Bowers was scrambling for ammo but you had already released. The rock found its target with a satisfying ‘thunk’ leaving Bowers on his ass clutching his bleeding nose. He pulls his hand away, gaping at the overwhelming amount of blood that had already painted his hand before locking eyes with you.

“KISS MY ASS, HENRY!” You hollered with a triumphant smile. “YOU TWISTED FUCK!”

“What the fuck?” Belch and Victor began scrambling back, looking around desperately for rocks of their own.

The Losers spared wide eyed glances your direction as they unleashed a storm of rocks on the now deeply unsettled Bowers gang. Bill was the only one who hesitated, his wide blue eyes frozen on you when you turned to give him a smirk. You had been looking for ammo and it seemed he had the perfect one. You cocked a brow, your devilish smirk still dominating your face as you gestured to the stone in his hand.

“You gonna use that, Billy Boy?”

You threw a few quick glances across the barrens making sure your weren’t gonna get hit. Luckily morale seemed to be growing scarce over there.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t completely gone.

“Ow,” Bill hissed, right hand clutching his left shoulder. “F-f-uck.”

Your head whipped around on your shoulders again to see Victor Criss’s upper lip twitching into a satisfied smile as he looked at Bill. You returned your attention to your boyfriend and the rock he held out for you.

“Let me,” you seethed.

You snatched the rock up, stomping forward with a wild glare in your eyes that was enough to intimidate the bleach blonde. Victor was already on his heels and running, but you weren’t letting him get away that easy. You threw with all your might and watched with pride as it soared through the air and hit him directly on the spine that was poking through his back. He cried out in pain as he fell to the ground, his chin meeting the very rock bed that fueled the fight.

“EAT SHIT,” You spit. “YOU LACKEY ASS FUCK!”

~~~~

“Turn it off!” Beverly cried. “TURN IT OFF!”

The projector in Bill’s garage had quickly turned into It’s stage as It put on a horrific display for you and the rest of your friends. What was just once pictures of Derry, suddenly turned into pictures of Bill’s family - you missed Georgie terribly, having grown so close with him the year before he died when you and Bill first got together. And now you were all staring death in the eyes as It manipulated the very air in the room around you. Every click of the projector put you on edge, the stroking effect and of course the child eating clown tormenting you all.

It was hard to process your own thoughts as they were quickly drowning in everyone’s screams and your own fears. You clutched Bill tightly to your side, your arms linked and your fingers stitched together. Everything was moving so incredibly fast it was near impossible to process until you realized you weren’t holding Bill’s hand anymore.

“Y-Y/n!” He cried, tugging at the back of your shirt before it slips from his grip. “Y/N!”

Mike had already unplugged the projector, that much you knew. But you were fucking desperate. You lunged for the projector, gripping it tightly as you held it high above your head. With a guttural scream, you threw it as hard as you possibly could into the cement floor. It broke instantly into several unidentifiable pieces, the room now completely dark and eerily silent.

Heaving, you finally look up to meet your friends faces. Each of them were gaping at you, an expression they seemed to always be wearing around you.

“Well,” you say finally. “I think it’s safe to say we found It.”

~~~~

“How hard is it,” you seethed, your voice growing in volume. “to NOT wander off? In a FUCKING HAUNTED HOUSE?!”

You took all your anger and fear out on the door Richie was being held in. Your elbows were practically glued to the surface while your fists and forearms repeatedly pounded on the door. First Eddie, now Richie. You swear, these idiots had to me smarter than this.

“Richie!” Bill joined your side, pounding on the door that had closed all on its own.

“RICHARD!” You pounded on the door again, your anger turning to pure fear that was now stinging your throat and eyes as tears began to well. “This is not fucking funny, open the goddamn door asshole!”

Your hand wraps around the doorknob again, and you shake the handle, jostling it around in hopes something will cave. When the door flew open, you didn’t know whether to chalk it up to luck, skill, or it was all still part of It’s torment but you didn’t care. Richie was alive, and tumbled into your and Bill’s grip.

“Richie!” You hugged the boy tightly, then pulled away with your signature glare. “WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING!?”

“N-n-no t-time,” Bill says, looking between you and Richie with determination in his eyes. “L-let’s get outta here.”

A muted thump answered before you could. You, Richie and Bill all looked to the source of the noise to see the moth-eaten mattress from earlier was now shifting by itself. It looked as if it was filled with jumping beans. A melon sized lump grew in the center before the fabric split to reveal the disheveled and muddied up head of your friend.

He smiles at your twisted expressions. “Wanna play loogie?”

Your reflexes are faster than your thought process and you run forward. Just as a strange black goo starts to spill from fake Eddie’s mouth, your leg was swinging through the air. Your left foot connected with the left side of his jaw, narrowly missing the sizzling black ink and Eddie’s head popped off his body as you put it across the room.

It sails through the air, his greasy hair catching several cobwebs as it spins. Specks of the goo go flying landing on the walls and ceiling before the small head collides with a disturbing ‘thunk’.

“What the fuck?!”

“Holy shit,”

Eddie’s head lands in the far corner of the room where it rolls back and forth on his right ear before settling. He was groaning as if all the spinning had made him dizzy. The ooze of black goo came out even faster as if he were ralphing, and it was now pooling across the floor and inching towards their feed.

“Oh, that’s fucking GROSS!” Richie looks quickly to you. “And now you made him angry!”

“At least I did something!”

“Guys,” Bill pleads. “C-come on,”

The pool of black tar is spreading fast and you and Richie don’t have to think twice to listen to Bill. You all turn on your heel, only to find three doors instead of one.

Very Scary, Scary, and Not Scary At All.

Not Scary At All was the winner, Bill and Richie quickly decide. And despite your protest that it was all clearly a trick and the doors were misnomers, they opened the Not Scary At All.

“Where’s My Shoe?”

The light was turned on to reveal the severed body of Betty Ripsom and you had promptly decided you had had more than enough.

“WHERE THE FUCK WERE HER LEGS?!” Richie cried.

“I’ve got a guess but I’m not sticking around to find out.” You growled.

You cast a glance behind you to see the tar had eaten up most of the floor, giving you little room to do what you wanted. Luckily, you didn’t need much. You took a few steps back and looked at the door in the center, your eyes settling deep into the crimson letters spelling “scary.” You were certainly glad you realized when you did that unlike the door that held Richie hostage, this one could easily be broken down from where you stood.

You sighed. “I have to do everything.”

~~~~

“WELCOME TO THE LOSERS CLUB, ASSHOLE!”

Richie’s bat swung through the air and knocked the clown back. Pennywise quickly recovered and lunged for the nearest target with a disgusting growl. You quickly scrambled for a weapon as Mike stepped up to bat. He threw the fence iron rod at the monster but it was stopped midair when It’s jaw unhinged and out came several charred arms holding it in place. More and more reached out from inside It’s throat and made a grab at Mike who was fighting back the force of all the arms.

You never happier to have been too slow to save your friend when you saw Stanley pick up one of several spare iron rods off the ground. With a brave determination, he launched forward with a fierce battle cry as his torch came down on the branch of arms that now recoiled, saving Mike. It stumbled back, the charred arms slinking back into its mouth and disappearing and Pennywise stumbles again when Richie kicks It forward and away from him. Unfortunately that brought It right to Stanley.

“Stan, watch out!” Bill cries from your side.

But it’s too late, It’s head had already changed to the same horribly contorted lady that had you had already found attacking your friend. Only this time it was still wearing It’s clown suit, and it was racing straight for Stan.

“Stan!” You cried, already running forward after him only to stop second later.

Yet again Stanley roared, striking the clown across the face with the most furious look you had ever seen on him. Despite the horrifying circumstances, you were quite proud. You quickly fell back into line, ready to fight with the others and you smiled yet again when Mike followed up Stan’s strike with a devastating blow of his own.

The small moment of victory was soon cut short - a pattern you were currently getting used to - when a pair of red tentacles-turned-crab-claws pulled Mike to the ground.

“Mike!” Eddie shrieked.

Mike was able to barrel roll to safety as as It advanced on him. The end of each gigantic claw striking the earth and narrowly missing him and you and your friends quickly followed not knowing what to do. You couldn’t watch it anymore, and you hated yourself for what you were about to do but you knew you would simply never forgive yourself if you lost Mike, or any of your friends.

For what Bill wished was the first time of the summer, he felt you leave his side as you charged headlong into danger. Another guttural scream left you as you hurled yourself onto It’s back, your iron spike in front of It’s neck, both hands on either side of the rod and you pulled as hard as you could.

Pennywise’s disturbing, maniacal laughter grew even scarier, something you didn’t think was possible as he began to suffocate. You let yourself drop back down to the ground, your grip still tight on your weapon as you used your position to pull It down to the ground. It was still laughing through chocked breathes but it had done what you hoped, and stopped, Mike had gotten to safety with the Losers.

And for one glorious moment you felt indestructible. Until you saw it shift before you’re very eyes and your eyes widened, as did the eyes of your friends and Bill. It’s complete figure changed, starting with It’s head. You and the Losers no longer saw a painted lady, a mummy, a horrible memory, an abusive father, or even a late little brother. But they saw you, their friend Y/n, cowering and crying under the iron rod that pinned you to the ground by the neck.

“Please,” It whimpered, bottom lip quivering horribly. “Please don’t. I don’t wanna die.”

The real you was staring at the sight of yourself, the real fake you that you always tried so hard to push down. You knew it was Pennywise, but it was enough to make you choke completely. You were always so confident, and you were good at sticking up for yourself and the rest of the Losers. At least that’s all they ever saw, that’s all you ever let them see. Deep down you were terrified, and much more than that you were terrified that your own fear would get in the way of protecting your loved ones.

Like now.

“Y/n?” Bill’s soft voice called out to you, breaking you from your spell.

You look down at your blubbering face, tears streaking down your cheeks as you begged yourself for mercy. Several pleas leaving your lips when finally you pulled the rod back. Your eyelids flicker open, gazing back up at you and watch your every move cowering.

“Y/n?” Ben asks.

You don’t answer, you just straighten, your demon double cowering beneath you and it only angers you more to know none of this is It’s own fear. It was yours. It was mocking you.

Which was pretty stupid, considering you still had the spike.

You bare your teeth as you summon your strength, throwing the end of the spike into the ground, going right through your throat.

~~~~

You watched with head on Bill’s shoulder as another drop of blood from your palm fell onto the grass. You were trying to think about anything but the pain, and with everything you had faced this summer, you certainly had the pick of the litter.

“It feels different now,” you say, voice quiet. “And not just cause It’s gone, ya know?”

You even hate to let yourself believe that, but for the sake of your sanity and the chance of every getting another night’s sleep you’d have to believe it. And knowing Bill as long as you did, you know he felt it too.

You pick your head up off his shoulder and look to his gaze break away from the hills in the distance to meet your eyes. For a moment he doesn’t say anything, and you know for sure he’s thinking it too. Beverly was leaving for Portland, Stan said he heard whispers from his parents that they might be moving and that was all on top of the heavy weight of your guys’ trauma that had already begun to drain everyone.

“A-a-at least we-we’ve got each o-other,”

You smiled, nudging his shoulder with your own.

“Big sap,” you chuckled.

He smiled a little, enjoying the small moment between the two of you. But it disappears when his mind returns to image that had been replaying in his mind nonstop since Neibolt. The image of your cowering form that bothered you so much. He had never seen you - the real you, that was being confronted, that is - so distraught. He gulps, gathering his strength.

“W-what made you s-see that?” He asks.

You don’t answer for a long moment, and Bill fears he’s upset you. Or confused you, but he doubts that is the case. Finally, you look up at him, and lick your lips nervously.

“I’m scared Bill,” you croaked, heart pounding wildly at the admission. “I’m always worrying about you, I’m always worrying about Richie, Mike, Eddie, Stanley, Bev, and Ben. I’m always worried something is going to happen. I’m always scared something’s gonna happen to the ones I love, and I get scared that I’m not gonna be enough to protect them.”

You take a deep breath, swallowing all the air you lost in your unintentional rant. Somewhere during your confession, your gaze broke away from Bill’s gaze and now here you were afraid to even look him in the eye.

There’s another silence that Bill finally ends after a small thoughtful moment.

“It’s okay to be scared, Y/n,” he says, pulling your eyes to him. “I-I-It’s part of being h-human.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, trying your best to banish the image of your cowardly form from your mind. Suddenly the sting of your cut didn’t hurt so bad.

You looked back into Bill’s soft eyes, and shrugged.

“I know, but it doesn’t make me feel too great either.”

He nudged you again with a charming smile.

“Well, y-you’re still a badass. Y-You’re always s-standing up for us,”

You chuckled weakly, sending him a smirk.

“That’s the easy part,” you say. “It’s looking out for myself that’s harder.”

“T-t-tell ya what?” You raise a brow at his sudden demeanor. “I’ll be t-the b-b-badass lookin out for you,”

You laughed, leaning in and giving him a lingering kiss that turned his cheeks absolutely scarlet.

You smiled when you saw this. “Thanks Billy Boy. Appreciate it. But I’d still like to work on myself a bit, ya know?”

He smiles again, this time triumphantly. “Deal.”

[spideymarvelws]

Peter Parker fluff- as friends or on a date, the reader and Peter go to target and cuteness, flirting and a lot of fluff happen 🥺

Some ideas ( if you don’t know what to do )

- Peter picks you an outfit to wear

- your in the makeup section shopping and Peter either gets into it or he gets bored

- in the food isles Peter says that you both should bake together

Even tho i’m not taking requests... i still wanted to do a little hc cause this idea was to cute to pass up that and i was feeling in a fluffy mood

Main Masterlist 

I could see it just being something happening out of the blue

Well for Peter at least

He was ready to just chill at your place

Maybe get some last minute work down

But for the most part he was just excited to goof around with you like he did almost every afternoon

Maybe also gather the courage to confess his feelings to you

What he didn’t expect was to be attacked with your puppy dog eyes, asking him to come with you to target

You were already planning on going with a MJ but she bailed last second

For reasons unknown 👀

Definitely not because the constant pinning was getting on her nerves😀

And since it was a last minute decision to go, you didn't have the time to tell Peter your plans

So once he reached you immediately asked him to go with you

He ‘reluctantly’ agreed, coughing away the red all over his face when you grabbed his hand and dragged him out the apartment

Now where I live we don’t have target and I’ve only ever been there once so bare with me here

Peter doesn’t know jack shit about shopping for clothes

His waredrobe consists of the same jacket, two pairs of jeans he just washes every week, maybe a sweater or two and an entire draw dedicated to tshirts with science puns

And while you found the silly puns and jokes cute, especially when he looked so proud and went on little rambles when someone pointed them out

You couldn’t help but wonder how you could do so much better...

Queue the fashion show montage

The classic black jeans, white shirt combo for starters

Definitely trying out the bad boy look with a fake leather jacket over top

Does target sell plaid pants?💀 cause if they do thats a definite yes

We’ve seen how good Tom looks in them

And maybe- possibly you slipped in a crop top 

The second best thing you’ve ever done after embarrassing him in front of the avengers 

And as much as he didn’t want to admit, he liked it too

Quite a lot

But he couldn’t let you know that

Especially since he was acting done with the entire situation, he had to keep up with the facade

Not that it was believable when his face was the shade of the target logo itself

Subtly slipped the top into the cart 

“I thought you didn’t like it?”

“shutup.” 🧍🏻

Picking out some clothes for you wasn’t any better

Because of course you picked the most revealing outfits

Constantly asking how he felt about it, if he liked the colour, the way it made you look

He always answered with the generic answer of you look beautiful in everything or just a quick, high pitched ye-yeah you look great!

Which was true, you could make a potato sack look amazing

But he wasn’t about to call his best friend sexy in the middle of a Target

Nor did he want to get turned on in the middle of a Target

So calling you beautiful seemed like the next best thing

After the absolute torcher mostly on his part in the in the clothes section

It was off to the makeup 

And boy, did you take advantage of him

Using him as your brand new canvas

Countless swatches of eye shadow, lipstick, you name it, littered his arms with the first aisle

Honestly anything that caught your eye and had a free sample you used

Ofc this is after covid

Very pouty boi every time you grabbed his arm

But still looked at you like you lite up the sun

Which was always his downfall

Willing to help

But at what cost?

At some point, you managed to reach to his face

Manz do be looking like a full on clown afterwards🤡

But he was your clown 🥰

*cough cough*

Best friend clown ig 👀🙄😒

Luckily you kept makeup wipes in your bag

Because you were cruel, but not that cruel

And while Peter was relieved, he had to make a mental note to ask if you could do his face properly when you reached back home

Maybe it was because he actually quite liked how he looked with coloured eyeliner or maybe it was because of the close proximity of your face to his

Ig we’ll never know🤷‍♀️

At that point you thought you’d put him through enough

So you rewarded him with going to the toy aisle next

Because you can’t convince me that Peter Parker is not a man child by heart

And that is not the first place he would run too anytime he’s taken to any store like target

You’ve never seen him smile wider that day

Probably because all you’ve been making him do was blush and mumble words under his breath 😇

But he was especially pulled to all the spider man toys

In fact as you both entered the aisle there was already a small boy there, giggling with his parents as he held up packaged web-shooters and playing superhero, adorning a plastic spider-man mask on his face

Peter almost burst into a million pieces of confetti

And as the family left, he turned to you with a bright smile

“Can we get some?”

“THE CHILD??!!”

“WHAT!? NO! Not the child, the TOYS!”

such a weird sentence out of context lmaoo

Fast forward the next thirty minutes, the both of you are giggling and laughing, chasing each other around the aisles with plastic swords and shields

Peter having to hold you back from jumping into a crate of plushies

You making sure he never got any silly string cans in his hands

Just pure chaos

How you both haven’t gotten kicked out? Only bingus knows

Having that moment where he sneaks up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you against him, just muttering boo in your ear to scare you

Him laughing at you

You trying to calm your racing heart

Then realising how close both your faces where

The area becoming quiet

Feeling his breath against your face

His body close to yours

All Peter saw was you and all you saw was Peter

The both of you slowly leaning in, gaze switching from his lips to his eyes, making sure that this was something that he wanted

Feeling his lips brush along yours, reading to fully press them against-

“eXUsE mE? But do you knew where the shampoo is?”

👁👄👁

🧍‍♀️🧍🏻

🦗 🦗 🦗

Peter stepped away and politely guided the lady to the aisle, earning him a pat on the head while you stood awkwardly by your cart

You both strolled to the food area in silence, immediately separating to ‘divide and conquer’ but in reality it was to fully process what just happened

While you were overthinking near the pastries, Peter was working over by the fruits, hating that the moment was ruined and wondering what would’ve happened if you weren’t interrupted

He kept thinking about the fact that you didn’t pull away

That you leaned in with him

That he felt your lips even if it was for a split second

He wasn't about to let his opportunity go to waste

And his sudden burst of courage

So as you both checked out and walked out of the store, he was quick to pack everything in the trunk of the car, pushing the cart right in front of you and blocking you from climbing into the drivers seat

“Get in.”

“Heh?”

“Get in.”

You blinked

“As in, get into the cart?”

“Yes.”🙂

hehe 

you’re in danger😀

But nevertheless you got into the cart, trying your best to find a comfortable position 

You mind immediately went to Peter rushing you across the carpark, sending you both flying into a hospital bed

But you didn’t expect him to pull out a camera along with a bouquet of flowers you didn’t know he bought

He delicately gave it to you, blushing when your fingers brushed along each other

“I just- I just wanted to get some photos for memories.” 

His hand rubbed at the back of his neck, eyes locked on his shoes that tapped on the floor repeatedly

You bit your lip, relaxing into the cart with your leg thrown over the thin plastic and flowers held to your chest

“Like one of your french girls?”

“Okay. Just because we watched Titanic last week does not give you the right to use that line everywhere,”

“Just shut up and take the pictures Parker.”

After a few moments of Peter circling the cart, making sure to get the perfect angles that captured the sun set behind you but kept you as the focus point of the picture, you started to zone out

Instead of focusing on making a certain face or direction, you took in his appearance

Hair tousled and glowing brown, moving perfectly with the wind

His face fully concentrated on taking the pictures

It was a perfect picture

He was a perfect picture

“If this is for memories you gotta get in here too Peter.”

You smiled, waving your hands and ushering for him to come closer

“I- okay.”

He walked behind the cart hesitantly, leaning over with the camera to get the both of you in frame

He had to lean a little bit closer, his face right next to yours

So as his finger pressed the button to take the photo, you took the courage to turn your head to give him a kiss on the cheek

But he turned his head to do the same thing

Resulting the both of your lips connecting, a quick peck that sent to both of your head spiralling and smiles growing

“Never thought our first kiss would be in a target carpark.”

“Can out second one be there too?”

“Damn right it can.”

[kuboism]

Bleach Canon Vs. Studio Clown Episode 1

Intro to the series

WARNING: Long read but theres plenty of pictures

The first deviation we’re greeted with is what the anime presents as the arrival of hollows into the human world. With a likely artistic rendition of them forming from the shadows of Hueco Mundo and dripping/bleeding over into the human world like splotches of ink, after which they disappear - unable to be perceived by humans.

A/N: Which, kubos to the anime, is rather neat.

The anime also decided to incorporate the first volume poem which is the thematic beginning and a great establisher of the mood/themes of Bleach, which roughly translates to: 

我らは 姿無きが故に それを畏れ

“We fear that which cannot be seen”

And then they curiously add a line to this poem? 

姿無き故に敬う

”We revere that which cannot be seen"

A/N: Which, initially seems on brand with the spiritualism of that “which is not seen” - the shinigami, DEATH itself if you will. However, unlike the themes of “fear” and “fear of death/the unseen”, “reverence” is not really a theme prevalent or definitive for bleach. Reverence is not particularly reserved for death or death gods, but antagonists with themes of divinity/the Soul King himself, but I digress.

Next off the bully scene has a couple of missing/reworded lines, as well as some of the delivery changed, but overall it’s not significant enough to mention.

I also wish they’d kept Ichigo’s shit yourself scary face from this moment right here, since it really underlines how serious and personally invested Ichigo is in bringing small justice to the souls of the departed, but I can only pray a future remake does include it.

^ I am disappointed in y’all :/

vs.

v Karma delivery, bitch

Then for some reason the next scene is changed significantly:

In the manga, it builds up slowly to Ichigo’s reveal of supernatural abilities with the iconic TM character profile intros (which I can see why weren’t recreated in the anime, but I sure wish they put them in....)

with him spooking the bullies off with the ghost girl right behind him

Versus his scary face doing the job instead.....

It’s a small change, and I can see why it would be opted for - we don’t really know if they even saw the ghost in the first place (then again you could argue that would spook them anyway). There is a tonal difference in the long run though. The manga emphasizes once again *why* ichigo is scolding them in the first place - he sees the people disrespected by them knocking down the vase, he wants them to acknowledge their actions *because* in his mind, there are real victims he knows from it. While in the anime, since the ghost is not yet introduced, it feels more like “you are disrespectful to the dead” in a more generalized way vs. him actually being acquainted with the dead and treating them like the living. 

(Again, not sure why change it so much at all........the suspense and reveal are in the manga just the same.... but ok)

As well as cutting off this small moment where you can see Ichigo’s very human (and cute!) interactions with the ghosts. To him they’re just as real as the living, and he lends them a hand whenever they ask for help.

Also lmfao this 4kids level of censorship.....

It goes on rather faithfully for a while, no significant omissions, then Pierrot decides to randomly replace Yuzu’s lines with Karin??

Manga:

Anime: 

Which is an odd choice, given that not only does Yuzu sense ghosts just fine (albeit at a much lesser level than her family) and that later comes into play with Fishbone & Grandfisher, but Karin literally later admits that she doesn’t even want to acknowledge their presence, so why the change....?

They also cut short Karin’s little talk about Ichigo’s stats, which is a fair change for screentime’s sake, but mentioned for the record.

There’s a bit of a divergence with Yuzu lore, when the manga explicitly states she sees them, but not “clearly”, the anime focuses on her barely sensing them. I guess it doesn’t matter that much in the long run, since she is not that prevalent in the story, but it’s here for the record nonetheless.

Anime: 

vs. 

Manga:A

Also this next bit was removed, probably for the sake of pacing (which, totally fair!!), but it’s funny and I love the Kurosaki family so here it is:

It does make the flow a bit better in the manga, since this talk of selling his talents distracts Ichigo and creates an opening for his father to strike, in the anime, the same is done with Ichigo just randomly saying 

and thats where his father attacks him, which isnt really an issue, just kind of funny of how the manga is like:

Ichigo’s distracted by his sisters plotting to sell him out and hence Isshin has his chance to strike back

vs the anime being like:

Ichigo randomly thinks about dinner mid convo about ghosts and thats what distracts him from play-fighting with his dad 

gfdkhlgfdg okayyyy....moving on 

In the manga this scene is interspliced with Ichigo’s inner monologue about the nature of his powers (with hip jargon like “for real” courtesy of Viz ) 

(but my beef with Viz translations are for another day)

Also the line about “He told me more ghosts than ever have been haunting me” has been given to Karin for some reason, probably to make her feel more included in the scene/Ichigos life.

Notably, Isshin’s response is changed from “What?! He talks about stuff like that with you (Yuzu, singular)” to “What?! He talks about stuff like that with you guys?” as well, again probably to include Karin more into the dialogue. (Mmmm ok....)

Minor detail, but Karin’s lines has been changed to more “boyish” speech structure in the Japanese dub, which may seem insignificant, but ...... that is for later. 

.....

This little exchange

 is replaced with: 

Which, seems innocuous adaptation differences, but Yuzu’s lines keep decreasing and it’s a short enough moment to like....include and establish how motherly Yuzu is acting towards Ichigo.....but ok...huh. 

And now we get into the big boy changes.

So, probably for the sake of grounding the supernatural element of the series, the anime decided to skip time to the next morning and introduce the hollow attacks with a news report.

Which.....is an interesting choice. I am assuming this is addressing how the real world perceives the hollow attacks, which Bleach doesn’t put too much effort into addressing, but very soon after this we learn about stuff like memory replacement and other various technology to keep things under wraps so this is either redundant or implying that shinigamis have not been doing their job, which hm......

Next off is the bizarre choice to paint Isshin out of the picture for the night

Not sure why, but ok

Again, where’s the shinigami with their Kikanshinki (memory replacement devices)??? Pierrot where’s the lore coherence......

Anyway, Ichigo goes to replace the girl’s vase, but suprise-surprise she’s gone-zo. Wonder what happened to her.....

(And....again, people vehemently don’t want a reboot when the anime looks like this? )

So Ichigo hears a scream and a hollow scream and follows the sound (Ok?).

Totally random hollows attack. Which Ichigo somehow has never seen so far? Mind you, this isn’t like in the manga, where Fishbone was sent by Aizen specifically after Ichigo to make him aware of it. These are random-ass hollows attacking people, so how come Ichigo suddenly sees them. Ya coulda played it safe Pierrot, and stuck to the book, but we got plot inconsistencies episode one so let’s party.

The girl is, of course, not eaten and they run away.

She trips at the most inconvenient moment. (can ghosts trip? Ghost don’t even have legs in japanese lore and Kubo draws them floating around so okkkkkkkk)

(ok ok, im just being petty, bUT YKNOW)

(convenient tripping on deadass levelled ground is convenient)

(also God I really want that bag Ichigo’s got on his shoulder, it looks so nice)

Random-ass hollow closes in and 

BOOM

Rukia

(Now, if the rest of Bleach and the manga didn’t exist I would like this moment. We get a glimpse into Rukia’s abilities, into shinigami as a concept and we don’t really get to see her slice and dice hollows that much overall so the moment itself is rad in isolation.

Now, unfortunately for Pierrot’s screenwriters, Bleach manga exists and so does it’s lore, which again, would not be inconsistent with each other if the adapation was faithful. Now, Ichigo sees a shinigami, for some reason, for the first time in his 15 years of life. All of a sudden. 

You could argue, that much like in the manga, this is all part of Aizen’s plan TM, but like, she literally leaves right after leaving Ichigo gaping in awe ghfkjgdf. Why’d Aizen give him an appetizer, I really don’t understand how this change is benefitting the narrative in any way. It’s ....dare I say....generic.)

Rukia yeets the hollow

(why is this kid suddenly not wearing shoes?)

and goes off on her merry way, leaving Ichigo shooketh

ALSO RUKIA MA’AM THERES A FUCKING STRAY GHOST RIGHT AT YOUR RIGHT????? ISNT IT YOUR LIKE....JOB.......... TO HELP GHOSTS MOVE ON??? i know killing hollows is the fun part, but like ghjkfdlgfd ??? are you gonna ignore her???

( his fucking face ghfjdkgdlfgfd)

So after this wholeass pointless detour (you’ll see why it’s pointless in a moment)  we timeskip again (the filler is strong in this one. These 6 minutes were worth not coming up with something cohesive and removing scenes that actually make sense ah yes)

Ichigo is in deep thought TM about who tf is the stranger he’d just seen. Likely mulling over the monsters and how this person was able to slay said monsters. Probably thinking how unusual they are.

and as if on cue

the stranger makes their presence once more

(my God these faces gfhgkldfg)

....

Now let’s briefly address what happens in the manga instead.

Instead of the whole timeskip scene with the fight, Ichigo simply returns to his room on the same day, and oddly enough recognizes the species of the butterfly he sees? (nerdy boi! nerdy!! boi!)

rukia arrives much the same

(With the little text emphasizing how he’d never been aware of soul reapers, which is unsurprising given their secrecy, and makes sense in the long run since their first meeting is specifically orchestrated by Aizen. Two species that werent meant to interact brought together by his schemes.)

Back to the anime:

Ichigo pauses to ponder who tf they are and why the fuck they’re there.

and then the anime has the gall to suddenly revert to sticking to the manga, which like.... Ichigo kicks her for no reason? I guess because she isn’t answering? Even though Ichigo knows she has a sword and can wield it? Reckless boy.

Manga Ichigo thinks she’s a burglar, therefore, unsurprisingly, is comfortable kicking her outta his house. It’s a silly moment, but it also shows how accustomed or stupidly brave he is with the supernatural.

In the anime Ichigo asks her who she is instead of all that, and she responds pretty similarly to the manga

AND THE NEXT SCENE IS WHERE IT CLICKS WHY THEY WENT OUT OF THEIR WAY TO REMOVE ISSHIN FROM THE HOUSE.

(Ichigo and Rukia addressing the pointless filler, this leads nowhere)

Rukia check him out like she’s checking if the oranges on sale dont have mold on them 

slapstick ensues

and Rukia decides to answer his question.

Vs. the manga in which Isshin doesn’t leave his children home alone for some random conference and is actually used very efficient for two reasons:

1) building up on the burglar gag with actually funny slapstick that is based on a previously established joke

2) Instead of Rukia just saying “oh usually people can’t see me”, we get an actual demonstration of it, the reader gets to see “oh Isshin can’t see her - she must be a spiritual entity,” which further clicks with her surprised reaction at him being able to kick her in the first place.

The next scene is the classique Pierrot censorship.

Ghost girl runs away from what I’m assuming is Fishbone.

Aside from not showing her get eaten, the scene is pretty much delivering the same message, 

bUT

BECAUSE OF THE STUPID ASS FILLER WITH THEM MEETING RUKIA BEFORE THIS, I CAN ACCUSE RUKIA OF NEGLIGENCE.

UNLIKE THE MANGA, where Rukia arrives the night before and is specifically seeking Fishbone, therefore having no time to help this girl pass away, 

This vvvvvvv

could have been prevented if SOMEONE DID THEIR FUCKING JOB THE DAY BEFORE VVVVVVV

(I rest my case. Thank you Pierrot for making Rukia either negligent or an idiot. Awesome, And mind you, these changes were unnecessary. The manga’s pacing is fine. They could’ve extended scenes. But nope, had to go for making them meet beforehand.)

Anyway, we get to see some actual stakes in the manga

The next scene which is this in the manga 

has two changes to it. Firstly, obviously Isshin being consoled by Yuzu isn’t included since he isn’t home in the anime, and even if he were, I can see why that would be removed, cute as it may be.

And secondly, due to them having met prior Ichigo asks two additional questions:

And Rukia nods at both, which means she acknowledges that she had seen the girl the hollow was after and yet did nothing to help her pass on. 

(Reminder the Bleach anime was in production WAAAAY past the first 4 volumes, which gave a good general idea of the series, which y’know, was fine to adapt as is.

You’ll see these changes add up into becoming inconsistent with further Bleach lore. There’s a reason people call Bleach a hot mess, and I’m afraid Kubo ain’t really it.)

(Volume 14 Note from Kubo where he talks about the anime being announced)

Back to the series

Pet peeve time: Wish the anime was half as expressive as the manga

These scenes are supposed to represent

This panel:

(Nitpicking? Perhaps, but idc)

So uh, this scene is odd

Again, because of the addition of that filler with the hollow

Ichigo has seen her in action

And they even added Rukia trying to convince him 

even though, yknow???

LITerally the previous day???

Anyway  in the manga, where Ichigo has reason to be distrustful of her and her claims since y’know hes never seen her or a shinigami in action, but has enough proof that she’s a ghost bc his dad didn’t see her, he simply dismisses her before she can reply, and instead of just getting angry for being called a pipsqueak

she shows both Ichigo and the audience proof of her spiritual powers by binding Ichigo and forcing him to quietly listen to her explanations.

(To reiterate - Anime Rukia  has to verbally try to convince Ichigo WHO SAW HER FIGHT A HOLLOW THE OTHER DAY that shes no ordinary ghost. And because of that, she has no other reason to use Sai on him other than that shes mad she was called a pipsqueak bc she just tried to verbally convince him shei is a shinigami. When they could just adapt the manga and have her both demonstrate her powers and put him in his place at the same time. Wild.)

Also CRIMINALLY BORING SHOT, WITH CRIMINALLY BORING RUKIA

#NotMyRukia

LOOK AT THE MANGA

LOOK AT HER SMUGLY OWNING ICHIGO’S IGNORANT ASS #FuckYeahRukia

Also the subs may not show it if you’re watching it on Netflix, but anime Rukia says “I am not allowed to lay my hands on humans outside orders,” which like, you ARE LITERALLY DOING THAT. Manga Rukia is fine with bullying Ichigo, but she draws a line at killing him, but man Anime Rukia, you give no fucks about the laws huh.

why so cheerful?

(also Rukia be right tho)

(specifcally compared to hell you could say Soul society is a resftul place lmfao)

Also anime salary man gets to rest in peace, even like, pray and shit

Meanwhile the manga

YEET TO SOUL SOCIETY

(also notice how we’ve been robbed of ichigo’s silly socks

I swear the anime knows how to suck the soul out of the manga 

Get it? Soul! haha ....moving on.)

Really Rukia? One of your jobs?

GUESS YOU WERE OFF DUTY HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I’M SORRY BUT LIKE, SEE HOW POINTLESS THIS FILLER IS UGH!!!)

(Again pet peeve but look at how ugly this screen is COMPARED TO THE MANGA)

(What have they done to you, queen)

(also they never mention the name Konso ( or as Viz calls it here -”soul funeral”, thanks Viz)

Next on, not a pet peeve, but an observation:

Anime Rukia keeps her sketchbook in her kimono

Manga Rukia keeps it at the titty

Yep, which you neglected to do the day before,

she literally says “With the konso I did just a  moment ago” like she used the word before. Like you can contextually get it, but why cut that line out of the dialogue if you don’t change the next line it’s referenced in?

There’s also a dialogue change from the manga’s well, Viz uses “vaporize” which is not a bad choice given the specific wording Kubo uses, but the original says 

昇華 • 滅却

sublimate/convert • extinguish

which is a clever little nod/foreshadowing to the nature of souls in bleach and that they can be “converted” in and out of a hollowfied state. 

While the anime just says “to slay hollows”, and albeit it lacks the little nod the manga has to offer, I can’t see how they’d include it in the anime at that stage so I’m fine with them simplifying it to like, an exorcism.

A better question then Rukia - WHY DIDN’T YOU SEND OFF HER SOUL????

also WAIT THE GIRL IS STILL ALIVE?? she’s dead-dead by this point in the manga.

BULLSHIT !!!  YOU LITERALLY EXPLAIN LATER WHY!! ACTUALLY YOU EXPLAINED EARLIER WHY!!! YOU LITERALLY SAID THIS, 1 MINUTE AGO :

Anyway, Fishbone almost grants her the priviledge of escaping this God-awful anime, but is suddenly stopped?

AND CAN TALK??

wait WHY DOES FISHBONE TALK?? GHFJD isnt this supposed to be  a juicy reveal for later when Ichigo realizes “hey theyre not actual complete monsters - but used to be humans!” Hm, ok.

Also leaves her alone? Damn ok...

Reminder:

Moooving on...

Speaking of the manga, this little moment is missing:

Since there is no pointless filler that would make him ask about the ghost girl therefore exposing Rukia’s slacking off of her duty, Ichigo realizes that there must be a hollow nearby bc in the manga he actually has braincells to spare. 

Also wiping off the Baron’s moustache moment is gone 😢

Missing and dearly missed is also this moment, which consolidates how protective Ichigo is of his family. He only needs to hear Yuzu scream to click that the hollow is nearby and his family is in danger. I feel like anime Ichigo should be even more worried since his sisters are alone but ok??

Also foreshadows their dynamic of Rukia trying to stop his reckless attempts at pushing himself to protect his family, bc yknow....she has her own Kaien trauma to process.

Next off....

This is .... a choice....

They were very eager to give Yuzu’s lines to Karin just a couple of moments ago but now this whole exchange:

Where we see a very pragmatic yet soft side of Karin

She doesn’t know what is happening, and doesn’t expect her brother to fight it - he just wants him to be safe, because she loves her family. At least warn him before it gets to him and hurts him.

is replaced with this:

Yuzu, sweetie, what do you think he can do to achieve that.

I guess at least Anime Ichigo tries to get Rukia to do her job as she looks down on Yuzu in silence. 

But compare it to the manga:

#MyRukia stops by Karin to check for a pulse and reassures Ichigo that his sister is alive.

Manga Ichigo is NUMBER ONE oniichan in town and doesnt have time to call out to a stranger to save his family - HES BEYOND READY TO GO FIGHT, RECKLESS AS IT IS, EVEN THOUGH HIS OWN FAMILY BEGS HIM TO JUST RUN. because he cant let himself be unable to protect them. He cant live with himself if he doesnt try his darnest to protect them.

*elevator music playing as ichigo tries to get rukia’s attention but she fucks off downstairs, but instead of doing shit he just does the worm on the floor*

which I guess is more realistic for a teenage boy, but Ichigo is literally traumatized by being unable to protect a family member. Y’all think a ghost he’s never seen before is gonna stop him? 

Yooo, pathetic. #NotMyIchigo

[charlettebffxiv]

Prompt #22 Fluster

The seasons were truly turning at this point. Each sun could go either way, grey clouds hanging above and threatening rain could blow away within a handful of bells and reveal a blistering glow, and that heat may disappear in a gust that brings the grey back. It made for some annoying uncertainty, especially on suns when there was too much to do to really sit and think about it. Charlette had not taken the time to think any of this over, and was left with nothing but a light coat to protect her against the downpour that was threatening. And the thin hope that it would never come. The steel grey clouds above were inclined to disagree.

“Please don’t.” She murmured to herself, looking up at the sky and offering this little request. Maybe the Twelve would be listening, take pity, and hold it off for just one sun. That was utterly irrational, of course, and she knew this. But what else could she do at this point? Charlette was dressed in her best, being caught in the rain would be a swift end to all of that. Bells spent under Chloe’s administration of make-up would wash away, rainwater seeping into the one Ishgardian dress she had allowed herself to buy. Corsets were already tight, and silk isn’t the most inclined to shrink, but she hardly wanted to test it. Worst though, she would have to turn back. It would be a swift end to an evening she had been looking forward to for weeks. It was not often that every one of them were in Willow’s Heart at the same time, her friends and fellow members were constantly being split-up and sent away. And with everything happening, such as her pending hearing and possible exile, that divide had been feeling even deeper. This would be the first time they would all be together, even if it had to be at an event organised by the Order itself. Formal, and filled with interruptions, it would not be quite as good as one spent at the tavern in their own company and none others. But it would have to do, weather willing. A droplet fell, smacking the cobblestones on the pathway she walked. The darkened little patch like a prelude to the mess she would suddenly become. “Shit.” Why did her family have to pick a house so far from the village center. The walk there alone took ages, and now it had cost her what little time she’d had. Charlette turned, planning to go home, disappointment setting in just like the first few taps of rain against her shoulders. Ah well, another evening with her books and in the warmth of her home would likely make-up for it, maybe. FWUMP! Suddenly, an umbrella was above her head. “You’re going the wrong way.” Charlette looked up, and barely recognized him. Loash, the usually gruff highlander stood in a suit of all things. The surprise must have been worn on her face, as he looked down at himself, then back to her and grunted. “Emille made me wear it. Fanciest getup I’ve ever owned. Was a gift.” The way he said that, you’d think Emille had given him bottled rabies. His face was clean shaven, his hair cut short at the sides, long at the top and slicked back. He smelled clean, and perfumed, sandalwood? Perhaps, Charlette didn’t have a nose for colognes, all she knew was she liked it. A long sleeved suit jacket that had been tailored to fit him, slacks and a waistcoat all in a midnight blue. Loash plucked the sides, frowned, then spread his legs, grabbed the crotch and tugged down. It didn’t move very far. “Feel like a fruit roll, all twirled up and stuck together.” He was not comfortable, not in that suit. But Charlette was sure it was not because of pinching or chafing. It was something she was familiar with, being put in a skin you couldn’t wear without losing a bit of yourself. “You look, uh, yes well Emille is always well dressed so, you know. You look like he does, like you know what you’re doing. Uh, is it pinching?” Loash stopped, then let go of the crotch he was pulling at again and shook his head. “Nah, it’s just, too close to my bits. You tryin’ to say I look like Emille? That’s a little like saying I look like my dad. That’s weird.” Charlette shook her head, a little harder than needed but she was also trying to shake off her fluster. “No, no. It looks good Loash, you look really, really good.” And that was perhaps a little stronger than it needed to be. There was an awkward silence that dragged on for several seconds, Loash looking down at the ground, one hand in his pocket, the other holding up the large umbrella that easily covered both of them from the soft rain that had started. Charlette looked to the side, hands clasped in front of her, mouth twisting as she fought to find words. “You look nice too. Real pretty. Like Emille’s wife in the paintings. Fancy like, y’know? That the, ah, Ishgardian dress?” Charlette nodded, he was close to giving a rather nice compliment until he compared her to a widower's late wife. “Yes, ah… yes it is. Nothing too fancy, was not all that expensive but it is from Ishgard.” That was a lie, high-necked, corseted dresses made with silk and subtle volume to the skirts that sat just high enough to show off shoes, but not too far as to go above the ankle did not come cheap. At least not at the time she bought it, since it was the current fashion of that moon. “I like the colour, matches my suit. Looks good on you though, guess you can prove everyone right now.” Charlette cocked her head to the side, confused “About what?” “That you’re the fanciest of us. Could move into Ishgard tomorrow and fit right in. Like you do in that dress. Not tight is it?” She shook her head, nose raising up a little, feeling slightly indignant at the assumption made by her so-called friends. Even if it was a common tease they used at her expense. “Yeah, like that. Got it just right, Emille does it too. Proper Ishgardian.” Loash was far too honest in his well-meaning to give Charlette any room to express her annoyance. Which was even more annoying. “Well… good.” A quick nod, then he jabbed a finger out, over her shoulder. “Wanna go together? Rains gonna wash that pretty face of yours off. Not that it’d make a big difference, but you might look a little clown-like with it all runny.” The rain was only going to get harder now, so they would have to get moving soon. “Might as well. I didn’t come prepared.” Loash held an arm out, and she took it. It was hard beneath the sleeve, and warm, as was the rest of him when they pressed in close to hide from the droplets. A little shiver ran up Charlette’s spine, she could feel her skin pulling tight into goosebumps beneath her silk sleeves. Well, that was a little strange, she was not cold. It’s probably nothing. “What’re you smiling about?” Loash asked, looking down at her. “Nothing, now stop looking at me like that. You do look like Emille when you are all creased up and judgemental like that.” Loash blinked, looked forward, and muttered “Bossy…”

[etheshadowlord]

UNPROFESSIONAL REVIEW OF EVERY POWER RANGERS EPISODE I CAN FIND PART 3!

Spoilers ahead for episodes 11-16. It's been a while I hope this post finds you...I don't know what state it will find you in but it could be Connecticut for all we know. Anyway, it's been a long time so I had to back up pull these out of the drawer and dust them off. I"ve mostly finished season 1 already at this point and started season 2 because the filler was getting to me and then I realized, life is far too short to get impatient. So time to slow down and reflect.

As well as subject ourselves to this madness.

Episode 11: No clowning around.

We start the episode off with Kimberly, Zack, Billy, and Jason at the Angel Grove Fair with Zack showing his hip-hop stilt dancing....yeah no it doesn't really work that well and he takes a short spill only to quickly reveal today's Villain, evil imposter clowns. Meanwhile, we see Trini bringing the kid of the day....her cousin.

Kids are cute, clowns are wholesome and nothing bad could possibly happen. Right.....so short fact I love clowns. I hate evil and monster clowns because they give the noble profession a bad name anyway whoever Pineapple the clown is, the clown council is probably greatly displeased with them.

Bulk and Skull enter the picture to tease the main team and get egg on their face. The eggs came from Billy attempting to juggle eggs on offer from the villainous clown Pineapple...Not sure but it's the thing today I guess.

So we get a segue to hearing the Gloriously Evil plan for her repulsiveness. Magical Pineoctopus that turns people into cardboard cutouts and....a...fake....fair? You know if magic stuff wasn't involved I would question how the fuck the police aren't shutting these stunts down before people get hurt. I wonder if there's just an "it's not my problem" field on these things.

So the monster of the week flattens Sylvia and the rangers convince the park goers to leave thus begins the fight. Meanwhile, Trini saves Sylvia with some water and then rejoins the Rangers in time to Put this clown down....for good. Okay, he's a fruit cephalopod but that's beside the point. End of the episode Vignette and we learn never to go with strange clowns.....or strangers period.

Fun: * * * - -

Rita: Mad

These Clowns: Failures.

Episode 12: Power Ranger Punks

We start this episode with a reminder that Baboo...

This person is actually capable of evil as well. Though not skilled at the practice of monster molding, his specialty seems to be making potions. In this case, ones to make Kimberly and Billy into....Punks.

Meanwhile, Rita unleashes the Terror Toad while they try to figure a way to correct their friends' bad behavior. Through an antidote. It works they beat the toad with a well-aimed arrow to the mouth and save the day. Sorry Baboo, no villain star today for you.

Baboo: Great alchemist....also where'd you get the Rattlesnake Lips? Share your sources please and thanks.

Drinks: Don't leave open drinks Also don't drink open drinks if you're a hero. Even if it was fine earler.

Punk: Not dead.

Episode 13: Peace, Love, and Woe.

So we start off with both Bulk and Skull causing chaos and with Rita demanding Finster to make her....Madame Woe, who is apparently almost as evil as Rita herself. Huh... also love strikes when you least expect it. Billy ends up falling for Marge who asks him to the dance and...Marge gets mistaken for a Power Ranger.

Clearly, because Rita didn't give her loyal servant the proper intel. So yeah Marge and the rangers get zapped into Madam Woe's funky dimension of Woe where she is all-powerful and send the Blue Ranger back to beat her in One on One combat, Madam Woe is defeated and we get a vignette of learning....that Bulk stores his money in his shoe.

Knowledge: Cursed.

Fun: * * * * -

Woe: - - - - -

Episode 14: Foul Play in the Sky.

We start the episode by meeting Kimberly's Uncle Steve who is a pilot and a sleeping potion.

Rita, if Monsters can't kill the power dweebs then what about flat-out gruesome murder. In fact, why hasn't she just poisoned them with a deadly poison at this point? Is it the fact she wants to look upon them as they despair? Is that the game here?

Anyway, Steve is put to sleep and Kimberly lands a plane all the while Bulk and Skull are in the back passed out because obviously you'd faint hearing that the pilot is out like a light and you're probably going to die. Rita's monster of the week is a snake man thing that fires power-draining snakes.

The plane lands and Kimberly shows us some real archery skills with a regular William Tell signature move. And we end the episode on a light note of Shakes on Bulk and Skull.

Fun: * * *- -

Plane controls: * * * * -

Rita: Wanted for attempted murder through sabotage.

Episode 15: Dark Warrior.

So another family member makes a one-time appearance. Trini's Uncle Howard is a brilliant scientist. He even made an invisibility formula. And Bulk and Skull decide to pick on Billy for....quarters for a dumb arcade...game?

Actually, we've seen Billy do some really stellar martial arts so why is he putting up with this? Seriously?

Uncle Howard shows up and....isn't wearing his glasses as he's looking for his niece. So he dumbly puts the formula on the counter. This will cause trouble later I can tell. Also, Rita sends a new monster out to find this formula. The labeled Dark Warrior. Looks more like Camo with a scarf to me. I mean invisibility can also mean camouflaging.

So Dark Warrior being a sadistic monster captures Howard, then tries to extort the formula from Trini. They fight the dark warrior and defeat him with the combined power of friendship and giant robots. Then we see Bulk and Skull get a taste of their own medicine as Uncle Howard shows off the invisibility formula that apparently can be drunk and affects your clothes as well? Weird.

Science: - - - - - WE DON'T WATCH THIS FOR ACCURATE SCIENCE!

Fun: * * * * -

Boxes: Marked with TNT Like this was Minecraft.

Episode 16: Switching Places.

You'll never know a person until you walk a mile in their shoes is usually how the saying goes. I think it works better if they were them for a week. You really get to know someone's life after a week of having to do things the way they do things.

Anyway, we start this episode with Squatt being the little Gremlin he is messing with Billy's Invention....the machine in question is a Machine to allow someone to read your mind...

So first mistake not going through the line of making sure everything is right before the experiment. Secondly, human experimentation is a bit....questionable in ethics.

Anyways, Kimberly and Billy get Switched. Like you know....body swapped. THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD ALWAYS CHECK THINGS BEFORE THE EXPERIMENT!

....The same also happens to Bulk and Skull.

All while this is going on Squatt unleashes a mighty Genie to fight the rangers. Guess it doesn't subscribe to the classic Genie Rules. However, the true power of the genie is in the lamp...obviously and Alpha defeats the genie by zapping it to...wherever he zapped it to. We close out the episode with everyone getting their minds back in their own bodies even Bulk and Skull sorta learn their lesson.

Switch: eroo

Genie: Wished out.

Skull: Pretty dull still.

Thus ends part 3 of this synoptic unprofessional review of every power rangers episode that I can get a hold of at least on Netflix. The next part will be the Green With EVIL special. Hence why I went with six episodes for this part because it's a five-parter coming up. Until then, see you in the next post.

[fakecrfan]

MAG 155 and Jon’s level of culpability

You know, I have always accepted that The Magnus Archives is a tragedy, which means that the characters (all of them!) 1) make mistakes and 2) their mistakes have grave consequences. And throughout season 4, the idea of Jon having choices available to him and being responsible for his actions even with the Eye or the Web exerting influence on him comes up a lot.

“But if you choose to believe in a free will, then yes: All you have done has been of your own free will. They have all been your choices.” (Annabelle Cane, MAG 147)

“What I’ve been doing to these people, it - it hasn’t been because I was puppeted, or controlled, or possessed.

I wanted to do it. It felt good.” (Jonathan Sims, MAG 147).

And there are certainly actions Jon did that deliberately harmed people (especially in season 4 with approaching people on the street and all) but of all these choices I have always felt like... the one ‘‘choice’‘ that I never felt was fair to judge Jon for was the ‘‘choice’‘ Oliver Banks mentioned when he was in a coma.

The thing is, John, right now you have a choice. You’ve put it off a long time, but it’s trapping you here. You’re not quite human enough to die, but still too human to survive. You’re balanced on an edge where the End can’t touch you, but you can’t escape him.

[...] Make your choice, Jon. (Oliver Banks, MAG 121)

But I mean, how could you reasonably call this a choice? The choice seems to be Jon either embracing his power or dying, but Jon was unconscious throughout this! How can you hold someone culpable for a “choice” they make when they weren’t even awake? Plus, it’s literally life or death. How could you expect someone to choose to die?

MAG 155 has an answer to my question.

MAG 155 is about Tova McHugh, a woman who does not want to die.

You’ve got to understand, I have so much to live for. Oh, okay, that’s not quite it. I know most people have plenty to live for, but what I mean is that my life does good. (Tova McHugh, MAG 155)

Tova McHugh really does not want to die, and that is a sympathetic motivation! But then, a tragic Unfair (as she puts it) accident happens to her, and she dies--she then is only able to continue living by taking other people’s lives. It is then that she starts to twist things. Not only is it okay for her to want to live, but she has to morally justify herself--and the only way to justify herself is to come up with reasons that her life is more valuable than the people she takes from.

And I know that everyone’s life has value, but I just need to be clear that my impact on the world is a positive one. My existence does a lot of good, and that’s only gotten more true since all this started. I’ve given more, spent more time on charitable stuff, and helped more people. (Tova McHugh, MAG 155)

She is clearly ashamed of her actions, on some level, but she really doesn’t want to die. So she decides that if she is a Good Person, and she is donating enough to charity and creating jobs (ugh) then that justifies her actions.

A clear parallel is drawn between her justification and Jon’s current discomfort about his own continued existence.

I’ve - (laughs) I’ve saved the world, the whole world. Does that give me the right to take what I need to survive? I’ve been reading nothing but these old, dry statements for so long, I - I feel weak. (Jonathan Sims, MAG 155).

Jon is only alive because he drew on power from the Eye to survive back in that moment in MAG 121 that was framed as a ‘‘choice’‘ in his coma. I don’t think that makes him as obviously wrong as Tova here, though. After all, the eye causes misery but at the time Jon had no reason to think feeding into the power would actually kill anyone. It wasn’t presented to him as a life-for-life choice--and again, he was unconscious.

But, the statement reveals the truth about Tova ‘‘bringing good into the world’‘ by drawing on the power she has been using. Because it turns out that the amount of life someone will give her isn’t equal. Some give her more, some give her less--and what tends to be the measure?

Eventually I realized it had nothing to do with age or health. It was about connection. About joy. The more friends, family, loved ones the person has, the further out the terror of sudden death spreads from me. The longer it keeps me alive. (Tova McHugh, MAG 155)

Tova can’t bring more ‘‘goodness’‘ into the world than she is taking out of it. Because the power she is using--one of the entities--exists to cause pain and suffering.  The very nature of the power she is using will negate or outweigh any ‘‘good’‘ Tova does to try and justify herself, otherwise it wouldn’t continue to use her.

(Sort of like how Gertrude’s utilitarian balancing turned out to be all for naught, but this is a meta about Jon so I will save that for another time :D)

So does Tova realize the obvious and stop? No, instead she doubles down on her self-justification.

Since this became my existence I’ve thrown myself into philanthropy harder than ever, and the world is so much better for me being in it. I’m not saying how I live is right, or good, but it is the position I have been put in, and a decision I have to make. I never wanted to weigh up the value of a life, to set it on the scales against my own, but that’s a choice that I am forced into. And it is one I will continue to make. (Tova McHugh, MAG 155)

Jon is completely aware of the comparisons between Tova and himself, and for a moment he has a crisis over it.

I find myself hating her, her callous self-deception. But am I so different? Daisy’s chosen to resist in her own way, knowing full well it might take her life in the end, Melanie too. I respect them for it, but I - I don’t know if I can follow their path. (Jonathan Sims, MAG 155)

And you know, I don’t think Jon and Tova are morally equivalent. Maybe it’s just that I like Jon and so am biased in his favor, but his choice seems a lot murkier than hers. He doesn’t get to see direct death as a result of his actions--so that makes it much easier to justify.

But I think the real purpose of this statement isn’t to say Jon is Just As Bad as Tova, but to wake him up to the nature of the powers--they can’t ever be used for permanent good. You might want to use them for such, the possibility of doing more good than harm might be the temptation that draws you deeper in to their use, but by their nature they bring harm into the world and negate the good you try to bring in to the world.

And also, while I dislike Tova and love Jon, morally I have to hold them to the same standard. If the only moral choice for Tova is to quit, even at the cost of her own life... then the only moral choice for Jon, also, is to quit.

(So I guess me going ‘‘you can’t just expect someone to choose to die!’‘ when I listened to 121 is just... me wearing clown shoes and the stupidest clown hat you ever did see, because it turns out that is exactly what I expect from characters I am impartial towards).

Jon might not see direct death as a result of his actions--but on the flipside, it is unclear if he will actually die as a result of quitting either. He says so himself, even.

I suppose I have a way out now. One that wouldn’t even kill me, at least, I hope not. And yet here I am still. Am I a coward? (Jonathan Sims, MAG 155)

He doesn’t think he will die if he quits--not for certain, at least. And yet he continues. He doesn’t know why, because examining his reasons is hard. I am sure part of it is that he enjoys his powers (as he has said) or that he is afraid of dying just as much as Tova is. But he ends on this thought.

I just… what if they need me? What if. (Jonathan Sims, MAG 155).

What if the people he cares about need him? What if they are in trouble? What if Martin needs him?

But, ultimately, this idea that he can use the Eye to defend the people he cares about is just as illusory as Tova thinking she can bring good into the world by killing people to extend her own lifespan. Not that Jon’s desire to protect is fake--it is very much real, but it mixes with his desire to continue for his own purposes, because he likes it and is afraid of dying.

I still don’t think Jon should be held responsible for a decision he made in a coma to save his life when he didn’t see what the consequences were. But it’s not just one decision in a coma that caused the apocalypse--he makes a decision to continue his path every waking moment. He chooses not to quit, even when he doesn’t think quitting will kill him, because being powerless when he and his friends are so often in danger scares him.

And you know, that is a sympathetic motivation, but his choices are still a mistake, and he is still responsible for them. When you make a mistake--even for sympathetic reasons, even when you didn’t know it was leading to such a horrific outcome--you still have to take responsibility and make amends.

When someone speeds while driving, for example, and runs someone over. Maybe they didn’t want to run the person over. Maybe they had a good reason to be speeding, like they were rushing to a friend who needed help. But they are still accountable for the choices they made that led to them injuring or killing someone. Same with Jon and the apocalypse.

Or at least, that is the impression that MAG 155 leaves me with. What do you think?

[mhdiaries]

Monster Exchange Marisol Coxi Passport

06.01

There is only one place in all of Monster Picchu where I can buy shoes off the rack that fit me, and when I walked by it today, all the shoes were gone. I went inside and found out that the business is being sold. I clearly voiced my displeasure about this situation to the store’s owner, Señor G., who was cleaning out his back room. “I am sorry, señorita, but I am retiring to the coast in order to be closer to my grandchildren, and to go fishing every day.” I asked if the new owners would be selling shoes as well, but he said they are going to be selling CANDLES! Now I will be able to get all the bayscary-scented candles I can sniff, but now even one pair of anything in a size 42EEE! I was caught totally flat-footed by this news, and in my heart I was feeling very tiny. I could tell he felt bad for me, and as I was about to leave, he asked me to wait for a moment. He disappeared back into the stockroom and soon returned with a beautiful gold box. “Please to be seated,” he said. I sat down on the last bench left in the store as he knelt down and opened the box to reveal a pair of pumps and OHMYGHOUL! They were red and black and clawsome all over! I quickly drew my feet up and turned away. “Señorita, do you not wish to try them on?” I told him that, of course, I did, but I did not want to go for a test drive in something I could not afford to take home with me. He laughed. “Ah, but Señorita Coxi, these were meant to be displayed only, not to be sold. There is not even a price or size on them, but I think maybe they fit you. Besides, if I leave them, the new owners will probably just fill them with wax and turn them into candles.” Cautiously I slipped my toes into them, and THEY FIT! Almost like they had been made for me. I grabbed Señor G. and gave him a ginormous hug. He put the shoes back in the box for me and thanked me for being such a large part of his business over the years. We waved goodbye, and I practically skipped all the way home. When I got there I put the box on the kitchen table and ran upstairs to find Ma to tell her my story. We got down to the kitchen at the same time Pa got home from work, and I put the shoes on to show them both. Pa was looking at the box and pulled out a slip of paper. He looked at the slip and cleared his throat the way he does when he’s about to be angry. “Marisol Coxi! Did you pay this much money for these shoes?” He handed me the slip, which turned out to be some kind of invoice. I saw the price at the bottom, and for once in my unlife I was actually quiet. I told Pa the story exactly as it happened. He asked me what I wanted to do. I thought about it for a moment and then I boxed up the shoes and went back to return them. I knew that I could not keep such an expensive gift. It was too much. When I got to the store, the lights were off and the doors were locked. In the window was a sign that read “Gone Fishing.” As I was standing there wondering what I should do now, a shopkeeper from across the street came running over with something in his hand. It was a note from Señor G. 

Señorita Coxi, 

After you left, and I could not find the invoice for the shoes, I knew that I must have absentmindedly returned it to the box. They really were display models meant to be placed in the window to attract customers, but it just so happens they are a display model in your size. I had intended on leaving the shoes for you without the invoice, regardless, as they are too big for me to wear and to small for me to fish from; plus I really would have hated to see them turned into candles. Please to wear them loud and proud!

Sincerely yours,

Señor G.

06.05

I found out today that I have been accepted into the monster exchange program and that I’ll be attending MONSTER HIGH THIS FALL! I am afraid I may have startled the Head Mistress when she told me the news. I think I whooped rather loudly, and she disappeared for a moment. It is her first year at our school, and she is such a prim and proper spirit, that I am thinking she has never experienced a student who loves unlife as much as me. Once she returned, she congratulated me, and I told her that I would be sure to call her to give her updates on all my new experiences. I could tell that my gesture had touched her because I saw a small tear of ectoplasm roll down her cheek. She said, “How kind of you, but perhaps something less auditory, like an email, or even a handwritten letter would suffice in this situation.” I was going to give her a hug, but she suddenly remembered an appointment she had to keep and disappeared again. There is so much to do to get ready. I must start right away or maybe tomorrow. I think my writing is so loud, it is keeping Ma and Pa awake.

06.13

I wanted to get some more information on the school - wouldn’t want to get off on the wrong foot - so I talked to mi prima segunda Abbey on video chat tonight. We have not seen each other since our last family reunion, and it was good to catch up with her. Abbey is much quieter than myself, but we always have a good time hanging out together. I asked her about her family, she asked about mine, and then we started talking about Monster High. I’m not sure how much I ended up learning, though, since her answers to most of my questions were, “Is good”, “Is okay”, or “Abbey has no comment.” Because her answers were so vague, I finally had to ask her if she really liked the school or not. She got a very strange look on her face and said, “Is beast school in world, haven’t you been listening?” I guess if Abbey is this enthusiastic, it must be the beast school indeed.

06.18

Okay. Usually I like to do my own hair and nails because I think I intimidate most stylists. I am not being boastful, I am being truthful. They either go too subtle or too over the top, so I come out either looking like I did when I walked in or like a lost clown in search of a circus. So when Ma and I left the mountain for a day of shopping on the river down below, we made sure to leave some time so that we could visit our favorite salon. It is a little off the beaten tributary, but it is deadfinitely worth the trip. The main stylist is an encantada who dresses so plain that you wouldn’t think she would know hip from hop, but she is fierce with the styling of her clients. I told her that I was going to MH as an exchange monster and jokingly asked if I could take her with me. She said that she was such a home-monster that she could never imagine going that far away, but was excited for me. She also told me that she would make room in her schedule to get me in for a pre-flight check so that I could be at my big-haired best before I fly out on my big adventure. It was a great way to end a ghouls’ day out with Ma.

06.30

I got a personal email from Headless Headmistress Bloodgood with the contact information for another exchange student who is going to be at Monster High the same time as me. Her name is Lorna McNessie, and she lives in Rotland. I took a chance that she might be up and pinged her for a video chat. Ma and Pa were out for the evening, so I had the music cranked and I was doing my nails in a color so bright you could read by it. I wasn’t sitting in front of the screen when we connected, and I might have missed her if it hadn’t been in-between songs when I heard “Helloooh?” I popped back in front of my camera, and she must have accidently knocked hers over, because all I could see was the ceiling in her room and I heard her say something that sounded like “Strewth!” She straightened out her camera, and I saw red hair, freckles and a pair of eyes with some definite mischief behind them. I introduced myself and told her I would be coming to Monster High at the same time she was. After we got past the “accent barrier” and some problems with the volume on her end, which she kept having to adjust for some reason, we had a killer time. She really loved my nails and I thought the hat she was wearing was to die for. We talked for a long time, and by the time we were done I felt as if I had made a new friend. Now I will know two ghouls when I get to Monster High - which looks like the beginning of a beautiful party. 

[theetangerine]

What it’s real like being a Dyslexic

Today's  post shall be about Dyslexia from  "Dyslexia the Gift". Well I didn't know that I was blessed with such an omnipotent power. Thank you Dyslexia the Gift for Awakening my abilities. Anyways this post is just my rebuttal to this list as an Anthropomorphic Tangerine with severe dyslexia. Here we go: General:

1. Appears bright, highly intelligent, and articulate but unable to read, write, or spell at grade level.

Ahhhhh.......... so I am all those big words that I can't spell or pronounce.

BTW who ever came up with the word Dyslexia is a troll cause you knew damn well I can't spell that.

2. Labelled lazy, dumb, careless, immature, “not trying hard enough,” or “behavior problem.”

Hey I am not lazy just because Suzie spends her the night figuring out Algebra questions and I on the other hand will look at her formula, "Copy and Paste" for myself and even then at the end of the day I stilled will have learned it. Einstein did say there are different types of genius.

3.Isn’t “behind enough” or “bad enough” to be helped in the school setting.

Let's just pretend it didn't take me 3 times to read this inorder to understand it. Anywhose.

The school suggested to my parents to take me to get tested. Although I think it was because they wanted justify their discrimination against me.

 4.   High in IQ, yet may not test well academically; tests well orally, but not written.

Lies. I failed in both.

5.Feels dumb; has poor self-esteem; hides or covers up weaknesses with ingenious compensatory strategies; easily frustrated and emotional about school reading or testing.

*clear throat* In best Beyonce voice "I'm survivor................"

6.Talented in art, drama, music, sports, mechanics, story-telling, sales, business, designing, building, or engineering.

 Ohh.......come on I suppose to be talented in these fields why didn't Dyslexia tell me this.

7.Seems to “Zone out” or daydream often; gets lost easily or loses track of time.

They were in the Zone like in Soul

woahh..... that was a bar.

8.Difficulty sustaining attention; seems “hyper” or “daydreamer.”

 As I type this I peer out through the window wondering if clouds really are made of precipitation or that is what the Illuminati wants you to think.

 9. Learns best through hands-on experience, demonstrations, experimentation, observation, and visual aids.

Crash Course history is my religion.

Vision, Reading, and Spelling:

10.Complains of dizziness, headaches or stomach aches while reading.

 Starts going in the 4th dimension if I pick up a book.  

11.Confused by letters, numbers, words, sequences, or verbal explanations.

Algebra is not for dyslexics. You mix letters and numbers together. Mathematicians were not thinking of dyslexics when Algebra was created.

 12. Reading or writing shows repetitions, additions, transpositions, omissions, substitutions, and reversals in letters, numbers and/or words.

Yes Yes . Truly feal for all of of my teacher who read my essays.

13.Complains of feeling or seeing non-existent movement while reading, writing, or copying.

I am Percy Jackson so I am a god.

 14.Seems to have difficulty with vision, yet eye exams don’t reveal a problem.

 I actually had glasses.

15.Extremely keen sighted and observant, or lacks depth perception and peripheral vision.

Yet another sentence I can't understand. Hold up let me go and look up “depth perception” so I can understand this sentence, real quick.........................This is true.  

 16.Reads and rereads with little comprehension.

Reading number fifteen (15) proves this.

 17.Spells phonetically and inconsistently.

 Hooked on Phonics told me otherwise.

Hearing and Speech:

18.Has extended hearing; hears things not said or apparent to others; easily distracted by sounds.

Being an only child while being home alone this ability doesn't have any benefits.

 19.Difficulty putting thoughts into words; speaks in halting phrases; leaves sentences incomplete; stutters under stress; mispronounces long words, or transposes phrases, words, and syllables when speaking.

 I feel called out.

Writing and Motor Skills:

20.Trouble with writing or copying; pencil grip is unusual; handwriting varies or is illegible.

 I may have changed my writing style multiple times. Some legible, some not.

 21.Clumsy, uncoordinated, poor at ball or team sports; difficulties with fine and/or gross motor skills and tasks; prone to motion-sickness.

But if I am supposed to be talented at sports in the afro-mention point why can't I catch a ball.

Dyslexia being confused since 1877.

 22.Can be ambidextrous, and often confuses left/right, over/under.

Yip...A 20 something that doesn't know their left from their right.

 Math and Time Management:

23.Has difficulty telling time, managing time, learning sequenced information or tasks, or being on time.

Well if I can't tell time I can't manage my time thus I don't have enough time to do tasks so that is why I am never on time.

 24.Computing math shows dependence on finger counting and other tricks; knows answers, but can’t do it on paper.

 Only if Math exam were oral I would have accolades in Math.

 25.Can count, but has difficulty counting objects and dealing with money.

 Y'all I have nightmares about being a cashier.  

 26.Can do arithmetic, but fails word problems; cannot grasp algebra or higher math.

As I said before Algebra not, for dyslexics.

Memory and Cognition:

27:Excellent long-term memory for experiences, locations, and faces.

I wish could forget about that time I fell down in front the entire school. And yes this is not an exaggeration. The ENTIRE school saw this.  

28.Poor memory for sequences, facts and information that has not been experienced.

Subjects dyslexics shouldn't do:

Science: too many big words you can't spell.

History or Literature: reading is detrimental to your health.

Math:  A-L-G-E-B-R-A

 29.Thinks primarily with images and feeling, not sounds or words (little internal dialogue).

Sad truth I wear my heart on my sleeves. It's fricking annoying cause I want to be mad in peace without anyone knowing Goddamn it .

 Behavior, Health, Development, and Personality: 

30.Extremely disorderly or compulsively orderly.

I am Death the Kid.

(If you don't get that reference you are uncultured)

 31.Can be class clown, trouble-maker, or too quiet.

Like I was disliked in school for being too quiet. You would think that it was students oh no no no Patricia it was teachers.

Sorry Mrs. Emily for not giving you grey hairs, so you have the opportunity to go home to your loving husband to complain about how much you hate your job and kids. While you thinking about your affair with the young nextdoor neighbour, who you would end up marrying only to then leave them for a hot 20 yea.............................Ummmm that got a bit personal there lets continue shall we  

32.Had unusually early or late developmental stages (talking, crawling, walking, tying shoes).

 It took a while to learn how to tie my laces.

 33.Prone to ear infections; sensitive to foods, additives, and chemical products.

So wait not only did Dyslexia inhibit my ability to read, comprehend and to tell my right from my left to function normally in society but it caused my ear infections too. That is it I'm done

Moving to Siberia.

 34.Can be an extra deep or light sleeper; bedwetting beyond appropriate age.

 I was a very well trained tangerine.

 35.Unusually high or low tolerance for pain.

Everytime I stub my pinky toes it feels like an aeroplane wheel rolled over it.

36.Strong sense of justice; emotionally sensitive; strives for perfection.

 Facts!

37.Mistakes and symptoms increase dramatically with confusion, time pressure, emotional stress, or poor     health.

2 second Rant

Examiners don't think of dyslexic people, even with extra time. The sheer amount of times it takes just to understand the question then to answer with the best possible Grammar is straight cruelty.

You automatically want me to fail and not finish don't you.

You Demon.

  Mini sidestory:

While writing this I asked my significant other to spell "Exaggerate", dude looked at me and told me to sound it out. Past me knew he was going to say this and I did sound it out  before he asked me to sound it out. I told him that I did and that I don't know what letter comes after "Ex", he was like babe sound it out..................................

Tangerine internal thoughts: (Exsqueeze me) Every time try that a ""H" is coming up in my head. I thought this through ya know.

In conclusion I sound it out to my phone.

 To anyone who don't understand Dyslexia fully I do suggest researching.  

My commentary is completely subjective but if you relate that is good :)

 That's all my Fruits until next time

- TheeTangerine

Proof read by TheeApple<3

https://www.dyslexia.com/about-dyslexia/signs-of-dyslexia/test-for-dyslexia-37-signs/

[notdeadyet09]

The gift

Read on Ao3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/27314749

ship: Wayleka

Warnings : Jeremiah is creepy and Bruce needs therapy. Also some mild gore

Jeremiah was like a cat, Bruce had surmised before picking up the box on his porch. Always leaving dead things on his porch.

It was a pretty box, Bright stripes, and dots tattooed on the skin covering it (he was wearing gloves). A bow and card in red ink detailing a warning that might have been something to fret over 3 years ago.

They weren’t the same people they were 3 years ago either. Now he stood a little bit taller, the need to shave happening more (not as often as he would have liked) and smiles coming a bit easier.

Bruce was still a serious boy, usually dressed in all black and a frown naturally taking over his face but now his eyes lit up more often and he seemed more relaxed. Jeremiah liked to think that he was responsible for that.

He opened the box once he got inside, Alfred sighing about teenagers and clowns. Inside was a red rose, the thorns dipped in what Bruce knew wasn’t strawberry jelly. The blue latex of his glove turned slightly purple with the blood. It was a nice gift, considering the last one was a severed ring finger with the ring still on it (not a proposal, they had both made it clear that they weren't ready). But Bruce was getting tired of burning skin boxes. Alfred was too judging by the look he was giving the 19-year-old.

Bruce hardly noticed, instead choosing to put the rose in a vase. The blood washed away, the clarity of the water showing slightly pink. The petals would wilt in a week unless this was one of Ivy’s little monsters (Bruce doubted it seeing as the girl wasn't in Arkham and never really liked Jerimiah). Turning back around to his Butler watching the slightly disapproving look on his face “You're not going to stop me."

“I’m not planning on it. I’m just worried about you Master Wayne,”

Ever since Bruce had pulled Jeremiah back from the guardrail at Ace Chemicals and the clown had gone to Arkham; the gifts were a constant. They started small of course, a box of chocolates that had been thrown away as soon as they had arrived. Bruce had always wondered what was in those.

The first independent visit to Arkham had been filled with creepy, inherently wide-eyed glances through panes of glass. It had gotten easier after that though

"I know Alfred but I’m seriously ok. If anything goes wrong I can defend myself remember?” Another way these three years had paid off. He could fight, and now he could fight well .

Alfred merely sighed and stepped away from the threshold, Bruce deciding against wearing the heavy black jacket he seldom left the house without. He would have felt bare without it, like a naked babe in the woods, waiting for wolves to pounce had it not been for the plastic knife in his shoe and the iron chain in his pocket. Once placed on the magnets in his rings (gifts from Mr. Fox) they made surprisingly efficient iron knuckles.

He had also taken his phone with him, screen cracked from a run on with a mugger yesterday. She had been easy to take down but he needed to get that fixed

Leaving Wayne manor he looked up, the walls casting shadows along the grounds. The architecture hadn’t changed nor would it ever but it was home. A home plagued by tragedy upon tragedy but it hurt less now, now that Bruce had some people that he knew loved him. But it was still an imposing building, winding stairs and old wallpaper that even if Bruce died, would never change.

The back car, something expensive that would easily identify him waited in the driveway The humming of an engine and soft music were the only things Bruce could hear as he drove to Arkham. A home away from home, not that he’d ever admit it. Despite hating the treatment of inmates (he took them to court a year back and thighs have gotten better) and many people in there wanting his blood, it still held a sense of comfort .

Maybe he was crazy. Wouldn’t Jerimiah love to hear that.

Pulling up the asylum was the easy part, convincing himself to go in was harder. It had gotten easier over time, but he still felt the stab of guilt for all the people that he had let die by the inmates’ hands.

No bruce, you can’t save everyone! A voice that sounded suspiciously like Jeremiah reminded him. It was hard… he was getting used to it.

Walking through the front doors, he greeted the security guard with a head nod. They stiffened up, likely one of the people under Jerimiahs control. As much as Jeremiah hated to be similar to Jerome, there was no denying that they both were very good at getting people to follow them.

He lifted his eyes to one of the workers, seeing Echo’s stare back. She’d been working there for a while under some different name every time. Cold, calculating eyes and a fake warm smile filled her face.

“Hello Doctor Klovn, how are you today?” False pleasantries though they enjoyed each other's company were exchanged and a meeting with Jerimiah was arranged.

“Mr. Valeska will see you in meeting Room 3,” She spoke as if Bruce was then only about to be shoved in a room, chains around his wrists. She thanked him, walking down the hallways, noting the lack of silence. It was another thing Bruce (though he could convince himself that he didn’t) liked about the place. There was no silence, whether it be music that seemed oddly fitting for the old Asylum or screams (he preferred the music) of the less collected inmates.

The hallway was familiar, the same room that he had (for the first time without Ecco) seen Jerimiah in. Though it was easy to get turned around in here, walls looking the same, with the seldom decor to grace its walls. Something Bruce would try to work on. Though as many people had told him, he was not an interior decorator, the latest being Jerome. Jerome was dead, it was no question about it. After the fateful day at the graveyard; Bruce never went a week without checking on the grave, making sure that ginger-haired clown didn’t wake. Some might call it paranoia but anyone who had known Jerome knew that it was a precaution they needed to take. Bruce still had the faint white line on his neck and a few scars from when he had to dive staples out of his arm.

Jeremiah hated that, likely not for the reasons a sane person would. Maybe something about not being the first one to give him such scars or the fact that Jerome was gone, the marks he left on Bruce weren’t. Being an only child and (maybe?) not crazy Bruce never got it.

Entering the visitation room, with its white walls and silver table, Bruce took notice of the security cameras. It was a habit he had never known was one until Jeremiah pointed it out, saying something about looking for people who he didn’t know if they were there. Then he had said something about never having to worry about the camera’s being on him when he was talking with Jeremiah.

He kept true to that promise, the camera’s green light flickering off. Another constant since the beginning of these visits. No surveillance made Bruce feel free, most of his life being surrounded by flashing lights and Paparazzi hounds. He sat down in the uncomfortable chair across from the door that the gift-giver would be walking through.

Drumming his fingers on the metal, the almost silence becoming a little too much for him, he reminisced about the fateful day when they had figured out what this was

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“Y’know Bruce it is rather rude to lie… especially to me,” It was the 8th or 10th visits (numbers always varied when it came to Jeremiah) and they had finally ditched the glass between them.

“I’m not lying Jeremiah I’m just distracted,” Gordon had made an unusual comment about moving Jeremiah offshore, away from Gotham and away from Bruce. It had sent a sickly feeling to Bruce’s stomach. He wasn't sure why then.

“And what’s distracting you? He couldn’t lie, Jeremiah knowing more of his tells than he’d like.

“Something Jim said just made me think” It did make him think. Think about the sickly feeling and what caused it. Luckily the drive had helped him figure it out.

“You know I like it when tell me what’s on your mind Bruce,” Bruce had sighed, not really sure how to word it

“They were thinking of moving you offshore… I don’t agree,”

“And why is that Bruce?” A smile had made its way into Jeremiah's face, adoring and hopeful. This time Bruce knew what it was for. And he wasn’t sure if he’d like to go back to ignorance or confess to his crimes

“I would miss you,” Bruce confessed, not seeing Jeremiah's smile widen. If he had looked up he would have seen the (slightly mad but) Loving Away Jeremiah's eyes spoke. He would have seen the hands reaching for his.

He didn’t, only noticing those pale hands when they pulled his own up to Jeremiah's chest.

“You can feel that Bruce right? You know I would miss you too.” Bruce could indeed feel the frantic pounding of Jeremiah’s heart, the part of his mind he longed to destroy revealing in the notion that Bruce had some power in this dynamic.

“I know you would...Miah,” the nickname came out smoothly, a jump in Jeremiah’s heart to prove that it had worked.

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The opening of the door broke Bruce’s memory, Dark eyes meeting stark green ones.

“How lovely it is to see you, Bruce,” Jeremiah’s tone was soft but happy, almost ignoring the guard that had walked him in.

Bruce simply nodded, not sure what the guard would think. It was foolish in Jeremiah's opinion and a little bit offending that Bruce didn’t think that Jeremiah would let someone not under his control walk him.

“Thank you Mr. Summer but you can leave now,” There it was again, the feeling that Jeremiah was the one in control, not the people who put him in these chains. Bruce watched the guard walk stiffly out the door, and Jeremiah sighed.

“I’m guessing he wasn’t very fun to work with,” Bruce said with no small amount of humor in his voice. Jeremiah peered into his eyes, watching them flicker to life with emotion. The clown always liked when Bruce allowed himself to show that fire, a little voice that still sounded like his brother saying that Jerome was the one who put it there. Jeremiah promptly ignored it.

“He was too easy. All I had to do was tell him how much better life would be if he just followed me and boom! He’s like a sick puppy,” Bruce noted to the obvious line with a sigh, as he had already seen the slight terror on his face when Jeremiah had spoken to them.

“And what kind of boom are we talking about, Miah?” Jeremiah laughed, a cold sound that only Bruce could recognize as genuine. Bruce was straight, of course, I mean what’s a little manipulation with threats. An invisible bomb in his mother's room or a promise of pain if Mr. Summer ever betrayed him.

“I’m guessing you got my gift,” Jeremiah was smiling, knowingly as Bruce bristled. The small part of him that recognized Jeremiah for the mad man that he was really didn’t like the way that Jeremiah looked at him.

“Yes, the skin made it feel especially romantic,” Bruce replied with false anger, the glare all but disappearing seeing the adoring way Jeremiah looked at him. Handcuff shined brightly as he reached up, cold hands taking Bruce’s in a tight grip. Bruce rubbed Jeremiah’s thumb with his own, a feudal attempt to warn them up. It was pleasant Jeremiah thought, the way Bruce openly expressed affection. It was a stark reminder of what they were three years ago when the only way Bruce would touch him was in anger,

“Only a rose, seldom as beautiful and half as deadly as you could prove as a gift to you,” it was poetic, in the way Edgar Allen Poe was, like a clown’s greasepaint, beautiful but slightly off. Something that would haunt a small child’s dreams and nightmare.

“You’re insane Jeremiah,” Bruce said with as much of a loving smile as someone like Bruce Wayne could make.

It was debatable, the insane nature of Jeremiah Valeska. The gas laid as a trapped by Jerome, or the almost offensive love he held for Bruce. Of course, Jeremiah would never call himself crazy as it was easy (far too easy) to convince himself that he was sane. That he was doing all of this for one purpose. One man.

“If I’m insane then you are just as crazy as I am,” Both of them noted the familiar words said by the other Valeska. They ignored it, Bruce because he seldom tried to think about the dead man and Jeremiah out of pure spite.

“How is Arkham treating you?” Changing the subject was something that Bruce was good at. Though it was questioned Bruce had asked every single visit. Always said with the same amount of faked aloofness.

“I’ll be out soon,” A different answer surprised Bruce. He’d be getting out. It wasn’t surprising that we would. No, but it was surprising that he planned to.

Jeremiah, over the course of three years, had only escaped twice. But the general public only knew about the second one. The first, almost 27 months ago. A Private visit (kidnapping Bruce corrected) in an old church.

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They had just had the fateful 8th or 10th visit and Jeremiah wanted answers. He had got them anyway. And Bruce had gotten answers to his own questions

“Why would you miss me, Bruce?” A question that maybe Bruce had the right answer for.

An answer that would mean that Jeremiah was right. That they did have a connection.

“Because… you were my…” Bruce had tired of not wanting to say the words he hadn’t even admitted to himself.

“I was your what?”

“You were someone I loved,” And there it was. Shocking the person who said it and the person who heard it. Loved. Past tense of course, as Bruce wasn’t able to admit that maybe the love wasn’t all gone yet.

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“Back to causing trouble?” Bruce said only slightly exasperated.

“Only for you my dear, always for you,” Another smile that three years ago Bruce would’ve flinched at. Now he met it with a smile of his own.

“I know Jeremiah, I know,”

And Bruce did know, having finally seen it after all of this time. They were all different people, but the most being Gotham’s Dark Knight. Jeremiah’s Prince.

[where-s-all-blue]

Hopeless Heroes AU

Hero Pack

Sanji/Stealth Black/King

Stealth Black has been out if commission fro the past two years (presumed dead by the public) as he was training with a former hero known as Crimson Leg.

He returns under the name "Prince", wearing a prototype of his new suit as Usopp isn't yet done calibrating the finished version to fit his needs.

People start to talk about how similar Stealth Black and this new hero are, causing Sanji to panic and claim that the members of Germa 66 are obviously older as they are taller (they wear heeled shoes to make people believe that they're taller).

Prior to Stealth Black's early retirement, he and Hunter had a fight regarding who deserves to be saved as the previous had been raised to think like perfect Germa soldier while the latter holds all life equally valuable.

Sanji must return to his previous role as Stealth Black momentarily as Germa 66 is threatening to reveal the secret identities of the heroes.

He accidentally reveals that Prince and Stealth Black are the same person to Hunter in the process.

Due to his new suit having a crown at its chest, the public starts to refer to him as King instead of Prince much to his embarrassment.

His entering code is 0302, which just so happens to be his birthday, March 2nd.

As Vinsmoke's questionable treatment on its servants and family members is revealed, Sanji is placed onto a safehouse known as Sunny, Hunter is tasked with guarding him.

Zoro/Hunter

Upon his friend Kuya dying from falling down the stairs, Zoro realised just how fragile humans are and thus he swore to become a hero who'd be able to help everyone.

His mentor is hero known as Hawkeye, who found him practicing sword fighting on his backyard. To this day the sword hero has no idea how Zoro got past his security system nor where his parents are, thus becoming his guardian.

He transferred into a university in France, which just so happens to be the same one Sanji attends to, accidentally becoming Mr Popular due to his exotic background, athletic nature and street smarts.

As he meets Prince, he can't help but to think of Stealth Black and wish him to return. He even talks about how he misses the guy to Prince, who's literally trying to keep the fact that he's Stealth Black a secret.

He's angry at himself for not being able to accompany Stealth Black on his mission because of his cover nearly being blown. He has to make up a good diversion while another hero makes an appearance as Hunter at the same time (it's Bartolomeo, who has learned most of his signature moves).

When Sanji is moved into the safe house, Hunter accompanies him the whole time, learning that not all Vinsmokes are entitled bastards.

Hunter's ability is to cut anything and nothing if he so desires, he also can create several wind styled attacks with them along with something that is called an Asura. The latter is still an incomplete technique.

Perona has accidentally called Hunter her older brother in presence of Nami, which led to both him and her quickly make up a lie about him being Zoro's older half brother of whose existence the greenette has no idea of existing.

Zoro keeps a journal about these lies to ensure that he doesn't accidentally contradict himself.

Ace/Fire Fist

Son of a former (now deceased) heroes, Roger and Rogue, the previous having been a powerful fire ability carrying hero.

He became active as a young teen upon loosing his cool.

He was used as a test subject of project REVIVE which was supposed to be used to research the abilities of the heroes who'd died in hopes of producing one day a new generation of heroes with matching abilities along with a series of pills that were supposed to be used to suppress hard to control abilities, help with mastering them and to switch into another one if the holder' s body wasn't capable of withstanding the original one.

This project was over seen by Steel Fist Garp, who was mortified to learn about the science ward of the time (provided by the United Countries and the Royal family of Vinsmokes) using children as test subjects. He broke all of the test subjects out, providing them with happy families. The test subjects who survived were Ace, Sabo and Chopper.

Sabo/Chief

The wide assumption is that he is Ace's twin brother who just so happens to take after Rouge.

He found out about his ability to control fire during a mission where both Ace and Luffy were hurt very badly.

As Sabo was used in the project REVIVE, his hair changed colour from its previous golden yellow into the same strawberry blonde as Rogue's had been.

Although he was released from the facility by Garp, he wasn't done with being a test subject as his power hungry family continued tests in secret until Dragon (a hero during that time) broke him out at the request of Doctor Kureha.

Luffy/Rubber Man

Originally a water-air powered individual, but as he ate one of the prototype pillers, his DNA was warped turning him into a rubber man.

Though Garp was offered the ability to turn him back into what he'd originally been, the retired hero claimed that it was a good thing to have his ability change as now he couldn't be connected to Dragon nor his wife.

Luffy's mother was a former villain with water based ability. Dragon broke off of the hero union in favour of becoming a vigilante.

Shanks/Red

One of the rare heroes without super powers.

Lost his arm while trying to keep Luffy safe while visiting one of the factories that produced the hero suits and gadgets; he quite literally stick his arm between two gears to keep the kid from getting hurt and had to have it amputated as a result.

To the public, he's an intriguing mystery.

Those who don't work with him, see him as laid back and carefree guy, but when you see him step on the field, you'll immediately know that shit just got real.

He's one of Roger's former pupils.

Red works behind the scene, pulling the strings and covering for the younger heroes.

His family is so well hidden that even if you'd know who he really was, you could only trace him back to the heroes. The closest you'd get to a family would be Luffy, but do you really want to risk having Steel Fist, Dragon, Portgas Twins AND the Surgeon of Death attack you on sight?

As the head of the intelligence, nothing gets past him, if something feels amiss, he'll have it checked.

While his identity isn't a secret, somehow people still fail to believe that he's one of the strongest current generation heroes.

Mihawk/Hawkeye

One of the strongest heroes current generation has to offer, the guardian and mentor of Hunter.

Sword hero, whose abilities have been honed to the level where no matter what he yields, he can cut with it.

He has once used an actual banana in place of a blade during an emergency with rather fruitful results.

Prefers to work solo, but has made an exception for his ward.

Came to adopt both Zoro and Perona upon finding them from his backyard with no explanation for how they got there and who are their parents.

Celebrates the duo's birthdays on the days he found them.

Seems to live only with protein shakes, smoothies and fruities due to being literally too busy with being the only hero with common sense around here.

This has led to an ongoing joke about him being a fruit bat styled vampire.

His habit of sleeping in a coffin (it came with the house and he sure as hell won't be spending anymore time with people than the bare minimum) isn't helping with the vampire image.

He used to work in a team with Buggy and Shanks, there was even slight rivalry between them where they kept score on saved civilians and beaten villains. This came to an end upon Shanks' loss of an arm.

Buggy/Clown

Came from a poor family which led him to retorting to crime as a means of survival.

Was taken in by Roger, who helped him to break out of the villain circle and inspired him to become a hero.

His former ability was so destructive that he asked to be given the still work in progress medicine, but it made him sick and mentally unstable for a long time.

He used to be in the same hero team as Hawkeye and Red before starting to work solo and eventually taking an apprentice himself.

He grew up in a circus where his parental figures were thieving clowns (literal clowns), as a sign of respect and to not forget this past, he incorporated certain elements from that into his hero suit.

He's seen as the grumpy uncle by the young heroes.

His literal vibe is: *high beeper goes off signalling that there's a fight nearby* Buggy: *loud tired groan*

Jinbe

Water powered hero, who's also partially a shark.

Specialises in ocean missions.

He's in charge of public relations thanks to his calm personality and rationality.

Feels responsible for the fact that he didn't recognise Arlong's villainous tendencies fast enough.

The martial arts instructor for the new heroes who usually haven't yet found their own style or have no idea how to protect themselves.

Jinbe is literally his hero name, not a single person knows what his actual name is.

Coby

A new hero, whose mentor is Steel Fist Garp.

He's highly durable and happens to have similar affiliates as Garp, hence he was the perfect protégé for him.

He's supposed to become the fourth member of the ASL and balance their often dangerous antics. He's already proceeded to befriend the youngest member of the team, Luffy, while Sabo and Ace are still uncertain of what to make of him.

Currently, he has no hero name of his own as he is following the tradition of allowing the public name him. However, if Shanks' prediction is accurate, he'll end up with a name similar to both Garp and Ace.

Germa 66

Six member group which prides itself in high level technology and super powers.

Is made up from the Royal family of Vinsmokes.

Judge, the leader, is a hyper intelligent man with naturally high durability and strength.

Reiju was genetically altered to be capable of manipulating toxins.

Ichiji was altered to be able to control fire.

Niji's genetic manipulation led to his ability to cut electricity.

Sanji is the only one without any alterations thanks to his mother's ability to destroy unnatural elements, though it was only for one child. He's naturally durable and has high intelligence, which sadly isn't seen as a super power by his father.

Yonji's strength was amplified to ridiculous levels.

All of the Vinsmokes are naturally blonde, but their raidsuits create a coating that protects their heads, which happens to make them appear to have different hair colours.

Sora, former hero before passing away, was a support styled hero, who could nullify toxic combinations and technology.

To protect the team from being affected too much by the "lower level heroes", they have been banned from being paired with heroes who do not "match their level". Sanji, who was seen as the unnecessary part of the team was the only one who was allowed to meddle with other heroes and even then he had to write extra reports about his team mates and the mission.

Germa 66 is known to be very picky about those who are saved, preferring to keep only "important people" such as politicians safe.

Their methods are often questionable and the rest of the heroes judge both their views and the said methods.

[witchesoz]

After Oz: The Wizard of Oz (cartoon - first four episodes)

For this cartoon I think I will go four episode by four episodes. Today, review of "Fearless", "Crystal Clear", "We're not in Kansas anymore" and "The lion that squeaked" # Indeed, the quality of the animation varies from episode to episode and even from scene to scene. The color of the Witch's magic also strangely change from episode to episode - sometimes green, other times yellow or red # It is quite interesting to see that this show has character-centered episodes. Right now we saw two featuring the Lion - the Lion is a character both lovable and annoying, strangely. He is well developped, and thus he has quite a bit of sympathy to him, and he can be funny. BUT he is also very repetitive, and his voice is a bit annoying for him - he is a sort of new Daffy Duck. And again the drawing inconsistencies appear from time to time - the Lion often passing from lean/svelt to buff/muscular to chubby/fat for no reason. Anyway the two episodes that are Lion-centered actually have really clever and interesting ideas to explore. The first is "Fearless", the Wicked Witch disguised actually puts a spell on the Lion to give him his deepest desire: have all fear removed from him. But as a result he becomes so brave, fierce and desiring thrill, action and fights that he brings his friends to danger and destruction - a very interesting twist of the character, and a clever plan from the Wicked Witch (this episode also introduces Popland, which fits perfectly in the Ozian world). The second episode is "The Lion that Squeaked" - we are introduced to another character with a lot of potential, the Laughing Hyena. A malevolent and cruel prankster who steals the Lion's roar in order to overthrow him as "King of the Forest" and king of the animals, and fights people with all sorts of tricks and clown props. I really like this idea. # Interestingly, the Wicked Witch of the West is given very great illusion powers - something that in the book would rather befall to Mombi. This can give one a lot of ideas about what Mombi could be up to as a witch. In Fearless, for exemple, the Wicked Witch creates an entire fake carnival/fair, just to lure the Lion in and put her spell on him ; while in "We're not in Kansas anymore", she actually creates a fake Kansas to make Dorothy believe she went home, and thus steal the Ruby Slippers easily. # Truckle can be, just like the Lion, a funny character or annoying depending on the episode. Sometimes he can be just... not so much annoying as just plain and un-funny due to his dumbness and simplicity, but in other episodes he has the time to shine and reveals himself a really good character - such as "We're not in Kansas anymore" in which he actually ends up wearing the Ruby Slippers. Hijincks ensues. # Glinda... what is her point honestly? The writers handed her very badly... She appears randomly in some episodes for a few lines before disappearing again, usually merely to expose some facts the characters can't know... She doesn't even help or save the characters, she is merely just there to serve as an exposition, she's not even a Deus ex Machina... she just appears and disappears like "Hey, funny trivia, did you know?" and then leaves the main heroes to face alone whatever threats they need to face. Seriously? However I realized something that might be interesting... You see in this series, Glinda created the "Emerald Star" to help indicate to the protagonists that the Wizard is alive and well. I just realized that it might tie to Glinda's cardinal position, just like how the Wicked Witch can control the West Wind. In this version, Glinda is the good witch of the North, and thus the Emerald Star actually acts as a sort of Ozian North Star! The North Star that all travelers, all sailors, all wanderers look up to to know where they are going, the guide to all journeys! This would be a really cool symbolism. # The episode Crystal Clear at the same time fits and doesn't fit with the Ozian lore. This episode is centered around the Wicked Witch's crystal ball, the same one as in the movie. In the pilot episode it was mentionned that the crystal ball can spy on anything and anyone BUT can be used only once every day (which I think is a cool idea to limit the Witch's powers). This episode explains the backstory of the ball: it was originally crafted by the inhabitants of Crystal Land, a place where all Ozian crystals come from, as a gift for Glinda. However the Wicked Witch stole it for herself - hopefully one of them managed to use his tool to break down the ball, resulting in it malfunctioning. And now the Crystal Land people created a new ball, and of course the Wicked Witch wants to steal it... This fits in the Ozian lore, at least in the one from the MGM Movie. But I have a harder time with Crystal Land and its inhabitants because they clearly aren't from those - they are clear references to all those 80s puppet movies inspired by the works of Brian Froud. They could be straight out of "Labyrinth", of "The Dark Crystal" or of any Brian Froud book. They don't feel Ozian at all. # The Clock Land, or whatever it is, in the episode "We're not in Kansas Anymore" has absolutely no point whatsoever - it is another thing with this episode, they sometimes introduce thing that act merely as weird "plot agents", to the point that some have no role whatsoever and could easily have been cut off - this one was just introduced to do a joke on the nursery rhyme (but again, nursery rhyme don't belong to the Ozian world. To Alice in Wonderland, maybe, but not Oz.) # Finally, I will mention what is probably one of the most interesting aspects of this cartoon - they explain what are the mysterious powers of the Ruby Slippers, and in a way that I find very satsifying. Basically, the Ruby Slippers can grant their wearer's wish or desire whenever they formulate it out loud and click their heels together. Which basically makes them an incredibly powerful magic tool able to literaly do anything. However, there is a catch to it - the wish or desire must be formulated in a precise and clear way. Else, the Slippers will grant the wish in a twisted way. For exemple, when the protagonists were about to crash due to their flying craft falling to the Earth, Dorothy used the Slippers to ask for a "soft landing". The Slippers then merely changed the craft from made of wood to made of feathers. They still fell really hard on the floor, but on a soft material. That is also why Dorothy is reluctant to use the Slippers too much - she always fear that she words her desire wrongs and thus causes the Slippers to turn against her. There is however one weirdness in the episode "We're not in Kansas anymore". Dorothy, trapped in the fake Kansas, removes her shoes and puts them in the cupboard. And suddenly the shoes disappear and reappear later on the Lion's foot, out of everyone. Why? It is never explained. Glinda only says that it is a sign that "something is terribly wrong" but there is no clear or understandable explanation at all. The writers probably just wanted to have the joke of the Lion wearing the slippers.

[gabriel-agreste-has-no-rights]

(Not a new fic, I just keep forgetting to officially post this one here)

Rating: T

Summary:  Ladybug's suit doesn't have any arch support. Luckily, she has a supportive partner who can help.

Word Count:  2262

Notes: Breaking my usual silly reveal fic brand for some ladynoir fluff.  Inspired by lnc2’s tumblr post: https://gabriel-agreste-has-no-rights.tumblr.com/post/190301790972/lnc2-lnc2-chat-noir-has-boots-but-what-about

Please ignore the fact that I may be misinterpreting Mister Bug and Lady Noire’s costume designs as well, it’s vaguely plot relevant lol

XXX

Long-distance akumas were the worst. She and Chat had swung, vaulted, and ran all the way across Paris to catch Cyclone, an akumatized cyclist upset he’d lost his place in the Tour de France.  A very very fast cyclist, thanks to Hawkmoth’s assistance.

“I think we should switch kwamis again,” Marinette grumbled as she dropped down to sit on the roof, her legs dangling off the side like the deadweight they were.  

“You know if you ever want to wear the clown costume all you have to do is ask.” Chat Noir smirked as he plopped down beside her, one foot resting over his knee. “I doubt I could’ve come up with what you did with the laundry detergent, though. I probably would’ve just asked for a jet pack. Or a motorcycle. Ooh, or maybe—”

“The Lucky Charm doesn’t work like that.”

“Maybe not for you. Maybe I just know what I want.” He leaned into her space, and it looked like he might have been wiggling his eyebrows, but it was hard to tell under his mask.

Marinette bit back a laugh and pushed him back by the nose. “Nice try.  I know exactly what I want in that regard, kitty.”

That statement was… not quite as true as it used to be.  She knew she was after blond hair and soft green eyes, after someone who was kind and sweet and selfless.  But before she’d realized it, the model smiles and loose t-shirts in her dreams were joined by teasing smirks and tight leather.

...But it was just because she spent so much time with Chat, that’s all.  For all the distance she’d tried to keep, it was hard to resist getting closer to him.  He was her best friend.

“The akuma right has nothing to do with it though,” she went on before she could fall down that rabbit hole again. “Well I guess it does a little. Sort of. I mean—I want your boots.”

Chat blinked. “I don’t think they’d fit you, Bug.”

“I mean,” she huffed, gesturing to her own suited feet, “I have no arch support whatsoever. The miraculous cure might fix the akuma’s damage, but I’m still left with two slabs of pain hanging at the end of my legs.”

They had (separately) dropped their transformations to feed their kwamis before suiting up again, but that hadn’t eased her aching feet either.  She was still really, really not looking forward to making it all the way back home. 

“Let me get this straight,” Chat said with a stifled snicker, “you want to borrow Plagg so your transformation will give you real shoes.”

“Hey, I’d like to see you run around my suit and not complain.  And your Mister Bug transformation doesn’t count.  Tikki gave you boots.”  She crossed her arms.  

He leaned back on his palms and smirked.  “Careful, Bugaboo.  I’m flattered you’re jealous of me, but green really isn’t your color.”

She shoved his arm, sending him flopping back on the roof with a laugh.

“I regret asking.  You keep the clown costume.”

He tucked his hands behind his head before flashing a wink.  “You just know you’d miss seeing me in black leather.”

“You’re impossible, you know that?”  She rolled her eyes, which kept her gaze from where Chat was stretched out, practically begging to be stared at.  She’d hate for her expression to prove him right.

“Im-paw-ssible, you mean.”  He gave a lopsided grin.  Yep, she could just focus on that, and not the way he was lounging like he was attempting to recreate one of Adrien’s model poses… and succeeding…

(Even best friends weren’t supposed to stare at each other like that, were they?)

His voice snapped her out of ogling him.  “If your feet really hurt, though, there’s always something else you could ask.”

“I already tried.”  She sighed.  If nothing else, the pain in her feet was also a good distraction from her unfairly attractive partner.  “Tikki can’t change the suit at this point.  Not unless I can drastically change how I see myself, but I can’t perform the mental gymnastics to pull that off.”

“I wasn’t talking about Tikki.”  He sat up abruptly and held out his hand.  “You know I’ll support you, even if your footwear won’t.”

Her nose scrunched.  “Sorry, Chat, but I don’t think moral support is going to heal my feet.”

“I didn’t mean moral support.  Foot massage, no strings attached.  For my partner who carries the whole world on her shoulders without even an insole.”

He beamed at her, as if rubbing her stinky, sweaty feet would be a favor to him.  

She shook her head.  “You really don’t have to, Chat.  My feet are disgusting.”  Especially after dashing across Paris all afternoon.  Her soles had to be caked in grit from every street in the city. 

“You could never disgust me, my Lady.”  He grinned dopily.  It should be illegal for him to show that kind of adoration with just a smile.  It was getting harder and harder to remember why she kept rejecting her partner.

Because you’re still in love with Adrien.  Because she couldn’t give Chat the kind of unwavering devotion he already showed her.  And because he didn’t deserve anything less.

...But he did offer the foot rubs with no strings attached.  With the way her feet were throbbing, to turn him down would be nothing but an act of pride.

“Alright, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

She kicked her feet up into his lap.  The suit protected her from the rough concrete and debris her feet were constantly exposed to, but the magical fabric barely dulled the soft touch of her partner’s hands.  All things considered, they’d shared weirder touches—they’d been tied up and tangled together more times than she could count at this point—but something about his soothing ministrations felt more intimate than she expected.  Maybe she’d just expected him to play a prank and tickle her, but this…

“If I would’ve known you’d do this, I would have asked you ages ago.”  Her voice was a little breathless as she laid back perpendicular to him.  His thumbs continued to massage heavenly patterns into the arch of her foot.

“So you’ll admit my hands are good for something besides using Cataclysm?”  His voice was teasing, but she didn’t care. Her foot had never felt this good. How much pain had built up there over the weeks and months of akuma fights?  

More importantly, how could she convince Chat to make this a regular thing?

“Yes,” she breathed.  “Where did you learn how to do this?  You have a side job as a masseuse?”

He chuckled but kept up the motion of his magical hands.  “Old friend, actually.  She always found ways to make me give her foot rubs when we were younger.”

“Lucky girl,” Marinette murmured, her eyes slipping closed.  He moved his attention to her other foot, working his way up from her heel towards her toes.  If this was how good Chat was with her feet…

Nope, nope, she was not letting that train of thought out of the station.

“Don’t worry, LB, your feet are much cuter than hers.”

“Please tell me you don’t have a weird thing for feet,” she blurted, apparently having lost her filter to his hands.

He just laughed, though.  “Only yours,” he said, and then she felt something soft press to the top of her big toe.

“Chat!”  She sprung upright to see him winking again before pulling his lips back from her foot.  “Gross!  You don’t know where that’s been!”

That only made him laugh harder—so hard he was actually gasping for breath.  “Your face!”

She snapped her jaw shut, only then realizing how dumbly she’d been gaping.  “You kissed my foot!  What did you expect me to do?”

“I kiss your hand all the time.”  He shrugged, his grin turning sly.  “So unless you have a thing for feet…”

“Oh my gosh, Chat, shut up.”  She covered her blushing cheeks, mostly just disappointed that there was no way she could both keep her dignity and ask him for another foot massage.

“I wouldn’t tell.  I’d give you alllll the foot rubs you want.”

“Tempting,” she muttered.

“Hmm?  What was that?”

She glared out from between her fingers, but couldn’t tell from his teasing grin if he’d actually heard her or not.

“I was just wondering,” she said, beginning to spin a plan in her mind.  “Foot massages aren’t that hard, really. Of course you’d be good at them.”

His grin fell to a pout.  “What are you getting at?”

“I mean, a real challenge would be giving a good neck and shoulder massage.  It takes a strong enough touch to ohhhhhhhh…”

She was gone.  He’d moved to kneel behind her, his fingers angled to keep his claws from pricking her as he dug into the knots that had been afflicting her for ages.  Anxiety and tension unraveled under the circular motions of his thumbs.

“What was that, Bugaboo?”  He whispered near her ear, sending shivers down her spine—shivers that he could probably feel, considering his hands had moved closer together to massage between her shoulderblades.

“You’re… terrible.”  

“Mm-hm.  I guess I should just stop, then—”

“Don’t you dare.”

Gone, gone, gone.  And from her quick response, he had to know it too.

His hands paused for half a second before starting again.

“As my Lady wishes,” he purred.

He didn’t hold back.  His fingers dug deep into muscles tight from use, pressing hard enough to make her wince at times.  But it still felt like heaven.  Why was she not dating this boy, again?

Bad Marinette, she told herself.  You can’t date your partner just to take advantage of his back rubs.  Or the fact that he’s hot.  Or the fact that he would literally die for you, and has proved so on several occasions.

Or the fact that he’s madly in love with you.  Can’t forget that.

Those reasons were not listed in order of importance, but they were rather compelling.  Particularly with his touch melting away her more rational objections.

She wasn’t sure how long it was (not long enough) when his hands finally stilled, resting with his thumbs gently brushing the curve of her shoulderblades.

“What do you say?  Did I pass the test?”  He asked, sounding a little self-conscious now.

Test of what?  Seeing if he could turn her into a puddle?  The answer to that was a definite yes, but she’d prefer to keep that information confidential for at least a little longer.

“Y-yeah.  Thanks, kitty.”  

Her skin missed his warmth as he drew back.

“Anytime, Bugaboo.”  

It sounded like he really was willing to let that be the end of that.  No strings attached.  But—

“I still owe you,” she said, tucking her legs under her and turning to face him.

“I had a feeling you’d say that,” he replied with a chuckle.  “You never do like to accept help, even from me.  Or maybe it’s especially from me…”

“That’s not it.”  She shook her head, scooting closer.  Was that really what he thought?  “We’re partners, Chat.  I just don’t want to take more than I give.”

“You give me plenty, Ladybug.”  His voice turned serious as his hand inched towards hers, before coming to rest on the concrete roof just a centimeter away.  “Just getting to spend time with you outside of fighting akumas is a treasure.  I wouldn’t ask for anything more than that.”

Despite his usual outrageous flirting, she knew that was true.  If she ever wanted him to stop, he would.

But she’d never wanted him to.  Maybe because she knew deep down, she’d been falling for him all along.

“Hmmmm.”  She looked away, out towards the sunset horizon.  “That’s too bad.”

“Huh?”

A grin tugged at her lips.  “I hear your Lucky Charm gives you exactly what you ask for.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she watched his expression turn from confusion, to shock, to hope.

“And you… know what I’d ask for, right?”

Her shrug screamed nonchalance.  She could only hope it would cover up the pounding of her heart.  

“I’ve got a pretty good idea.”

Maybe she couldn’t give Chat her whole heart yet.  And maybe part of her was being selfish, worn down by his teasing smiles and melting hands.  But… she had a feeling that if she let down this last barrier, it wouldn’t be long before she was giving him the same smitten look he directed at her now.

“Will you go out with me, my Lady?”  His hands were clasped beneath his chin, his tone practically begging.  It almost made her regret what she was about to say.  But she couldn’t let him off that easy.

“That depends.”  

Her quick reply startled him—but not as much as the soft, slow kiss she pressed to his cheek.  

She decided that she absolutely adored the stunned look on his face, the pink blooming beneath his mask, his golden eyelashes fluttering.  He was still gaping when she tossed one last wink over her shoulder.

“Can you catch me now that my feet are feline good again?”

And he was still gaping when she tossed her yo-yo out to the next roof.

“Ladybug, wait—!”

She was done waiting.  Maybe he had a point about the Lucky Charm—he’d always known what he wanted.  She’d always gotten what she needed.

Finally, it seemed those two things were one and the same.

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader- “The Work Wife” Part 6

You’ve been working for The Joker for the past 10 years: you speak and act for him and no matter the circumstances, Y/N is always there to take care of everything he needs.  The King of Gotham might not be married, yet he has a perfect partner: his work wife.

Starts HERE

After 1 Month

The Joker circles the warehouse, inspecting the boxes and crates full of ammo and smuggled goods received with last night’s shipment.

“Hmm…” he eyeballs a decorative vase engraved with gold and silver, wondering if the extravagant object should become part of his collection at The Penthouse. His cell start vibrating and J takes it out of pocket, impatient to hear about his wife’s routine checkup:

“ ‘ello,” he kicks two packages out of the way.

“Hi,” you greet your spouse. “Just got out of my appointment; the doctor said all seems fine. He ordered some lab tests to make sure my blood levels are within the normal range; I should get the results in about 3 days.”

“That’s awesome!” he grumbles while bending over to grab some papers scattered on the floor. “I’m glad you’re ok, I should have come also for moral support.”

Y/N smiles at the confession, choosing not to disclose it makes her happy:

“You have to sort out the cargo; the buyer will be there shortly.”

“Yeah, but this could have waited.”

Your smile gets wider as J fumbles around with several items. 

“Tell you what: I’ll finish up some stuff here and I’ll drive to pitch in.”

The King of Gotham wouldn’t normally decline yet he’s actually worried after everything that happened.

“Nope, I want you to rest; you’ve been too active lately and you need to slow down. Why are you giggling?” he smacks his lips, displeased four trunks look like they’ve been tampered with.

“Nothing in particular,” the bubbly Y/N keeps the best for last.

“I’ll see you home; I found something I don’t like,” The Joker grunts as the heavy lid is lifted from one of the containers. “Stay put and relax!” he orders and you nonchalantly drop the bomb:

“Maybe I will,” and after a small pause: “Oh! By the way, I was given green light for sex.”

“ ‘kay, see you in a couple of hours,” J struggles with the box and waits for your long “Byeeeeee” before hanging up. A few seconds into his task and it hits.

“Holy shit!” he exhales and holds his breath, startled. “Jesus!!” he abandons the precious merchandise, running towards the exit. “Froooossst!!!” he gets his henchman’s assistance. “Take over!!”

“Yes sir!” Jonny emerges from one of the SUV’s parked inside, not understanding why his boss is in a hurry. “Anything wrong?”

“No!!! I have a personal emergency!!” The Joker shouts and pushes the heavy metal door to the side, wishing he was already at his destination.

*************

J enters the code on the pin pad and he is granted access into your apartment. He went to The Penthouse first: you weren’t there and he figured you must be on the 29th floor. He storms inside and rushes towards the bedroom when his enthusiasm is abruptly halted by no other than Jonathan Crane coming out of the kitchen.

Scarecrow almost drops the fresh coffee mug you brewed for him; The Clown Prince of Crime was certainly not informed you had company. Doesn’t matter though, he’s not one to be embarrassed by his current situation:

“May I help you Crane?” a high and mighty J sassily blurs out wearing nothing but his birthday suit.

“I doubt it,” Jonathan is quick to respond. “I dropped by to bring you extra ampules of Liquid Dream like you wanted and pain killers refill for Y/N in case she needs more.”

You suddenly pop up from behind Scarecrow, not being able to stop the question:

“Why are you naked?!”

The Joker opens his mouth because he has a cool explanation, yet the guest doesn’t care about it.

“I think I should bail,” he smirks as he passed by J. “I’m taking the cup, I’ll bring it back next time,” he announces and can’t contain a smartass remark: “Nice attire.”

Your husband bitterly growls and as always, you have to be the catalyst for a better outcome:

“Thank you, Jonathan!”

Scarecrow waves without adding extra comments, 100% positive you’ll burst out laughing as soon as he vacates the premises.  

And he’s correct.

“Oh my God,” you snicker since you didn’t expect such a funny coincidence to unfold within today’s schedule. “That was hilarious!” the amused Y/N finds herself in The Joker’s arms moments after Jonathan’s departure. “Where are your clothes?!” you kiss him and he yanks at your waist, purring.

“The jacket and shirt in the car, pants and boxers in the elevator,” he admits while guiding you towards the couch in the living room. “The socks and shoes are somewhere on the hallway.”

“I was wondering when you’ll realize about the news I shared,” you whisper in his ear as he takes off your summer dress, aroused.

The two bodies plunge on the sofa, Y/N enjoying the intimacy as much as he does:

“J… … J…” you cling to him when his left hand slips in your bikini.

“Mmm? Does something hurt?” The Joker pecks the tip of your nose, ready to quit if you say yes.

“No… it’s not that,” the seriousness in your voice makes him pay attention.

Maybe you shouldn’t bring up the past in these circumstances; here it comes anyway:

“If the Las Vegas events repeat themselves… I won’t forgive you again,” you stare in his eyes without blinking. “I won’t return… ”

The Joker is silent and you wonder what’s going on in his mind; it’s not a secret he was miserable after being abandoned in the City of Lights due to his despicable conduct.

“They won’t.”

“Are you sure?” the doubt in your tone forces him to reveal:

“I’m sure because it felt horrible when you weren’t around.”

You caress J’s hair and remind him you won’t compromise for less than his total commitment:

“You’re either mine or you’re not, ok?...”

“I’m yours,” he grumbles and it’s not very difficult since the woman asking is no casual fling but the only one he ever wanted to marry for reals. “I want the special treatment,” the immediate request makes you snort: it’s so like him to articulate crap like this in the middle of a serious discussion. 

“Do you?!”

“Yes!!” The Joker nibbles on your neck and underlines his affliction: “I’ve been so horny I’m not sure how I still function; I behaved though, I swear!” he’s fast to emphasize while pulling on your bra strap. “You know why?” J throws the question out there, aware the statement will please his wife. “I tolerate you… even if you’ve been nagging me for almost 12 years.”

“Careful,” you admonish. “Uttering such words makes you sound like you’re in love.”

“God forbids! You think so?!” the painful grimace on his face prompts more teasing from your part:

“Yeap, no cure for this terrible disease.”

Your bra ends up on the floor and he’s not content with the epilogue.

“I’m screwed then.”

“Noooot yet,” you wink and his purring intensifies when your teeth sink into his shoulder. “We’re getting there.”

************

Same morning, 11:47am

“There you are!” J exclaims discovering you on the terrace. “You disappeared on me Y/N: I thought you said we’ll have lunch,” the hyper spouse recalls. “What’s wrong?” he frowns seeing you wiping your tears and doesn’t stress the lack of an answer when he notices the ultrasound picture. The Joker quietly sits by you on the swing, kissing your scared cheek in the process. “You ok?”

“U-hum,” you nod. “I wish I didn’t have the miscarriage, you know?...” your bottom lip quivers while placing the image in your robe’s pocket. “I really wanted a baby…”

“My poor old girl…” he sighs and doesn’t expect you to agree.

“I am old!” you keep sobbing and he squeezes you closer to him. “It was probably my last chance to have a child and I blew it!”

The King of Gotham sucks at cheering; he attempts nevertheless:

“Mmmm… You’re supposed to say you’re not old and then I reply that you are old for my standards, which should prompt you to fight back and highlight my standards are crap. Am I to carry on these sort of conversations meant for two by myself now?!” he huffs. “People will think I’m crazy!”

You snort at his monologue and it’s the perfect opportunity to make it clear your opinion is unchanged:

“Your standards are crap!”

“There you are,” the delighted Joker reckons. “I got nervous for a moment,” he chuckles and you elbow him, smiling through tears. “What about we eat something and then we can plan our location for the honeymoon we didn’t get to enjoy?”

J’s plan is working: the little surprise proposition is distracting Y/N and she carefully weighs in his sentences.

“Would you like to elope?” he pushes for a decision and you play with your wedding ring, mumbling:

“I don’t wanna go to Vegas.”

“No Vegas!” he’s fast to consent. “Where to then?”

“Well…” you sniffle, “…what about Reno? We could stay at Solaris Casino; Mark Nessi would accommodate us.”

“He would. If we pack and leave, we can make it there by 7:30-ish pm.”

“You want to leave today?! What about your meetings? You actually have one tomorrow.”

“Meh, Frost can postpone them,” The Joker dismisses your concerns. “I vote we bail and have fun, hm?” he lifts your chin up. “Let’s get the hell out of here, yes?” the impatient Clown wiggles next to you.

“OK…” Y/N elects to grant his plea because escaping town couldn’t have a better timing: it will be nice to spend time together and try to get over the disappointment of his past mistake.

**************

Reno, 8:42pm

You and The Joker are strolling towards the gambling area, excited to have made it here an hour ago. The traffic wasn’t bad and you took turns driving, that’s why you had dinner first and then changed clothes in order to enjoy the night properly.

“I liked the lobster,” you pull at his arm since he’s distrait. “How was your stake?” you seek to chat when he suddenly opens the door to one of the storage closets and shoves you inside. You get trapped against the wall as J claims his special request for the evening.

“I want the special treatment,” he growls and you smirk.

“You didn’t do anything to earn it! This morning I made an exception because it’s been weeks since we had sex. Don’t let my lenience trick you!”

“Don’t nag me!” J cuts you off. “This backless red dress of yours is doing things to me so I want the special treatment,” he slides his arms around your waist.

“Surrounded by shampoo bottles and toilet paper?!”

“It’s quite sexy,” The Joker grins and you compromise a tiny bit:

“I’ll only do the first part! That’s it! I want to go and play poker.”

His face comes close to yours and you start kissing every inch of it, ogling the door instead of paying attention to him.

“You’re not doing it right!” your husband complains. “You’re supposed to look at me!”

You switch your concentration and keep staring in his eyes, abandoning the project when you consider it done.  

“Where are you going?” J stops your movement. “Thanks to you I can’t walk now,” he lifts up your short dress and you dodge his touch, opening the door in order to escape.

“Of course you can! Come on, stop sulking,” you drag him out and he follows, bickering at your indifference.

“You’re mean!” The Joker admonishes and you intertwine his fingers with yours, guiding him in the direction of the VIP room.  

“No, I’m not,” you defend your actions. “I’ve been around you for so many years that those blue eyes and long lashes don’t have any powers over me,” Y/N teases. “I’m immune.”

“Bullshit!” he mutters and you steal a kiss, inviting him to enter the poker room.

“Do you want to sit by the bar?” you point and J doesn’t oppose the choice. “I’m getting a cocktail. Grape juice?”

“No,” he pouts and makes himself comfortable while you fetch your drink.

“Hello Mister Joker,” one of the dolled-up girls swiftly pops up at the table. “I didn’t see you in forever!”

“I’ve been busy,” he avoids the subject and barks when she tries to collapse on the chair next to his. “This seat’s taken!”

“Oh,” she straightens her back. “By whom?!” the envious Ella inquires.

Did another girl get to him first?! It’s common knowledge he’s generous with his flings and she can’t believe another will cash in the benefits.

“My wife,” he taps his fingers on the table, annoyed the interrogation continues.

“You got married Mister Joker?!” the woman doesn’t hide her astonishment: it’s not that his nuptials were broadcasted on the news. Plus… he’s a very weird man, totally not husband material.

“A few months ago,” he sneers and she’s not smart enough to take the hint.

“Who did you marry Mister Joker?” she giggles, more and more convinced he’s bluffing: The King of Gotham is probably messing around to make her jealous.

“My best friend and main nagger,” J bitterly mentions. “Isn’t this what people do? Marry their best friends?”

“You almost got me Mister Joker,” she laughs at his strange acknowledgement, reassured he’s messing with her: an individual like him would pronounce such nonsense only to initiate flirting.

“Excuse me!” you bump into her on purpose, aware why she’s there. “I got you grape juice on ice,” you place the glass in front of your spouse and he opens his mouth in amazement.

“I was literally about to order this! How did you know I changed my mind?!”

“Best friends know,” you bend to kiss him and J pouts, annoyed you overheard his childish affirmation.

“You have such a cool tattoo on your back!” Ella exclaims. “Is that Japanese?”

Y/N turns in her chair, confused to notice the lady is still standing behind them.

“Yes.”

“What does it say?”

You take a deep breath, fed up by her unwanted presence.

“It says that if you don’t get lost, I’ll make sure your body is never found again! And if it’s eventually found, it surely won’t be identifiable!!”

You reprise your position at the poker table, patiently waiting for the dealer to finish handing out the cards.

“I’m so hot and bothered,” J brushes his lips on yours. “Your attitude begs for my undivided eagerness to peel you out of this dress,” he lustfully glares at your cleavage.“What do you say we leave and have a party on our own? We can play strip poker in the honeymoon suite.”

“We just got here minutes ago,” you fix a rebel strand of hair then whisper: “Table seven, white shirt guy.”

“Do you ever take vacations?” The Joker grinds his teeth, nonchalantly gazing at your suspicious target.

“I like to mix business with pleasure,” you wink and accidentally spill a little bit of your cocktail on his pants. “Oops, pardon me; I assume you have to come with me if you need help stepping out of your wet garment.”

“As that old Arkham report specifies: I need all the help I can get,” The Clown reveals to an amused Y/N, excited she’s receptive to his innuendos.

**************

You emerge from the walk-in closet in your skimpy purple lace attire and The Joker gasps, enticed at the view.

“Oh my God! Com’ere!” he gestures for your company and you crawl in bed, pushing aside the items scattered on the sheets:

“What’s with the shampoo bottles and toilet paper rolls?!”

“I’m attempting to recreate the seductive atmosphere in the storage room, maybe it can convince you to continue the special treatment.”

“You don’t give up, do you?” you scoff and straddle his lap, conflicted if you should grant his wish.

“I usually don’t… Are you gonna help like you promised and take off my pants?” J gropes you and the knock at the door interrupts your answer.

“Room service!”

“Did you order from the menu?” you ask and your husband purrs:

“More champagne.”

“Maybe our new friend has arrived,” you wink, hopping out of bed.

“Why don’t we find out?” The Joker spanks your butt as you cover your body with the bathrobe.

Y/N grabs the bottle of champagne from the ice bucket and hides around the corner while he shouts:

“Come in!”

The waiter pushes in the rolling cart in the middle of the lobby, greeting his grouchy customer:

“Hi Mister Joker, would you like one bottle or two?”

“One!”

You creep beyond him and smash the glass against his skull; the man falls on his knees and you take advantage of his dizziness to switch him face up: it is the guy from table seven!

“Who send you?” you ferociously punch him and he struggles to escape when The King’s gun ends up one inch away from his temple. “Who send you?” Y/N shrieks and she’s so absorbed into her job she can’t discern the mesmerized Joker staring at her. It’s not that he didn’t see you in action before, but it finally clicked:

It sure pays off being married to your work wife!

Also read: MASTERLIST

You can also follow me on Ao3 and Wattpad under the same blog name: Diyunho.

[marithlizard]

Ace Attorney: Rise From the Ashes (Day Two, Trial Latter) (part 3)

Wherein I attempt to liveblog a mostly text-based videogame.  The trial continues!  Lunch is over and yet we’re still being fed indigestible statements. 

Court has recessed briefly for information-gathering. The clock says it's not even noon, but I feel like we've heard hours’ worth of (mostly untrue) testimony.

Lana has been called to the judge's chambers for reasons unknown.  Ema is realizing just how much of a, what's the polite word, “freewheeler” she's chosen to represent her sister.  But Phoenix is still flailing about when any other defense attorney in this world would have given up, so she'd best appreciate him.

It's the cowboy!  Who pointedly mentions Lana's scarf, which he saw her wearing on the day of the murder.   Since she wasn't wearing it in the photograph taken afterward, presumably the missing muffler is...in the car muffler?  Was she trying to hide something, or give Edgeworth carbon monoxide poisoning?  And just why is Marshall dropping us this helpful hint?

Court resumes with Edgeworth on the verge of some kind of conniption fit.   The judge lists off his symptoms concernedly - oh NO surely you didn't eat one of the lunchboxes, Edgeworth!  I've already been wondering how Angel Starr resisted the urge to give you food poisoning for two years, and that was before you verbally eviscerated her on the witness stand.

...Hello, who's this?

Peach suit, white hair, pink glasses and an avuncular folksy charm.  You. I don't like you.  

"Udgey?"  Is that the judge's name, or some sort of twee pig-latin nickname for Judge?  And "Wrighto" and "Worthy".  And he can get away with calling people slightly demeaning and offbeat nicknames, because apparently he's the district chief of police,  Damon Gant.  Phoenix is chastised for not recognizing him, which is probably fair.

Okay, that technique of taking away the dialogue box for several seconds while Gant cocks his head and blinks at us is quite effective.  This, we're silently being told, is a character so powerful they can interrupt the flow of the game itself. 

The judge notes that it's been "over two years" since Gant was in the courtroom.  That matches when Angel was fired.   This is all about one case, isn't it?  The case Lana and the victim worked on, the case that got Marshall demoted.

Gant has brought some false sympathy for Edgeworth and also Lana's missing scarf, which was indeed found stuffed in the car muffler.   (So the lunchlady was telling the truth about at least something.)  The scarf was wrapped around a switchblade with a tag on it. So, not a personal possession like Edgeworth's knife, but...an exhibit?  Something from storage? Like, evidence storage?

Edgeworth is justifiably upset that the police investigation didn't notice a scrap of red cloth hanging out of the car muffler inches away from the body.  Gant's initial sheepish admission that "this is embarrassing, even for us"  suddenly turns into that blinking Look again.   I feel like a trap is about to be sprung.

It's the envelope from yesterday, the one delivered by the hapless mailman!  Who told Edgeworth it wasn't related to the case, so he refused to take it.   Ouch.  It is Edgeworth's error, but there's something gleefully malicious about the way  Gant just set him up and then sucker-punched him.  There was no need for this to be a public humiliation.  In fact, it could've been discreetly sorted out before Gant got on the stand.  Or before trial started this morning.

(Why IS he on the stand? He's not a testifying witness. He just kinda...strolled in and took over. )

The judge asks Phoenix to examine the switchblade.  The knife tip is broken off and the blade and handle have bloodstains.    The tag, when I zoom in focus to max, says "S-L 9 2".   As for the envelope, it appears to be an autopsy report on Goodman, and doesn't mention the muffler or switchblade at all.  It also has a much vaguer timeframe than 5:15. 

Edgeworth tries to regain face by demanding an explanation about the missed evidence.  This is a bad, bad idea. I could've told you that even before Gant delightedly agrees  to testify.

Gant says the knife is special, but that he can't say how unless a  "connection is proven between the knife and Goodman."   Um. Doesn't the very presence of the knife, deliberately concealed at the crime scene, in itself mean it's not only connected but vital to understanding what happened?  I don't think you should get to withhold that information.

Nor do I think "we were having a bad day" is an acceptable excuse for not investigating the crime scene properly.  Cops get aggressively motivated when one of their own is attacked, everybody knows that.  Or was Goodman some kind of pariah?  

...wait.  What???   What Gant's saying is so bizarre I misread it.  There was a SECOND murder, at precisely the same time (and that's an awfully precise time),  at the police department?  "Not officially linked to this case" my aunt Fanny.

And Phoenix isn't supposed to ask about it in cross-examination?  I predict that will last about five seconds, because we're going to press every one of these statements hard enough to extract olive oil.

Starting with the knife.  Both Phoenix and Edgeworth push for more, but Gant refuses.  Can I make a connection that will impress the judge?  My inventory contains a phone, a shoe...and a note found in the trunk of the car that says "6-75 12/2".    Which looks a lot like "2/21 SL-9" if you turn it upside down.

Gant is acting as though this is a circus and he's never seen a clown before, delighted at everything Phoenix and the judge say.    This conveys an impression of total contempt behind a fig leaf of friendliness that can't be questioned.  It's a passive-aggressive masterpiece.  Somewhere in the audience Himemiya Anthy is probably taking notes.

And his facade barely flickers when faced with the memo.  The knife was evidence in a case (duh).  Stolen from the evidence room...and that's it? That's all we get?

Oh, this guy is skilled.   Edgeworth quite reasonably asks why he wasn't told about this impossibly coincidental murder, and Gant promptly insinuates that he's incompetent because he didn't proactively ask.  As though a proper prosecutor would have called the department every day with a checklist of possible events.  Why, I bet you didn't even consider a Godzilla attack contingency, did you?   Tsk tsk.

Gant continues to playfully refuse to give information on this second murder (except that a suspect has been arrested).  He offers to give Phoenix one data  point of his choice: where, how or when.  Apparently this trial has turned into a game show.

We already know when, so I choose where.  And Gant makes a curious distinction.  The crime took place in the evidence room (where the knife came from), but he won't say where the corpse was found.    Was the body moved?  As they say, he is playing a game and it is called silly buggers.   I'm absolutely assuming he is behind both murders (though sadly he can't have committed both, unless something paranormal or very complicated is going on).

Phoenix points out that a knife being stolen from the evidence room and then found at crime A, precisely when crime B is committed in the evidence room, is a pretty "duh" link.  Edgeworth supports by mentioning the note.   Whoever wrote it (Goodman, the murderer, or Lana)  presumably either stole the knife or was investigating its theft.    Even the judge agrees this has to count.  Gant just does his blink thing again.

And says his men took two days to assemble that logic.  In other words, he knew. And he STILL wants to play games.  He'll talk "unofficially", but not reveal the name of the victim.  (Why is that so important?)  When pressed, he offers  another one-data-point choice.   I choose ID number which should be easy to link to a name...although apparently Gant doesn't think so.

Victim ID number: 5842189.   The judge looks expectant.  I have a horrible idea, and check the court record.

Yep. It's Goodman's ID number.

Simultaneous murders of the same victim in different locations? That's an impressive level of silly buggers, chief.  And you didn't want this to come out in the trial? If I didn't already know Lana was innocent by video-game rules, I'd know it now.

Even this doesn't faze Gant.   (I really wanted to see him look thwarted. Damnit.) 

Edgeworth keeps on asking "Why didn't I hear about this?"  even though the answer is always "Because Gant has it in for you, and you just gave him another opening to attack."   It's as though he can't quite believe what is happening.  

Yep, there's that trap-springing look again.  With the first honest expression I think we've seen on Gant's face so far!  Just for one frame,  a flicker of anger and malice. This time he claims the police department sent Edgeworth all the information in that envelope delivered by Hapless Mailman Meekins, which Edgeworth didn't look at.

Hang on.  That's not even true.  We have that envelope in the court record, and...*scrolls up*...it's an autopsy report on Goodman.   It doesn't say which.  Even if Edgeworth had read it, he would have had no reason to think there was a second crime and victim.   Moreover,  Gant already raked him over the coals for not reading it, ��in this same trial session!   No...as the trap unfolds,  Gant seems to be claiming this is an entirely different envelope also delivered by Meekins(?)  It doesn't make sense.

But truth isn't going to matter here.  This is a career-destroying maneuver, and it's uncomfortable to watch.  Edgeworth is helpless under the crushing accusations,  protesting vainly that Gant could have submitted all this evidence  when the trial started.   Well, yes, that's what anyone but your enemy would have done...    The flicker of malice is back as Gant rubs it all in with a technicality about evidence law.

(Ah, this detail might be relevant:  Edgeworth  apparently submitted a list of evidence to be used in the trial, which of course did not include things he didn't know existed.    That flies in the face of all Phoenix Wright games past and present, in which new evidence is produced about every five minutes during trial, this one included.)

This morning's Public Career Assassination, I mean trial,  comes to an end with Gant mentioning the rumors about Edgeworth, and even using his own brief status as a defendant against him.  Edgeworth can do nothing but formally grovel.  He begs for one more day of trial to investigate all this new information.   The judge grants it,of course, but joins in condemning him.

I don't know why Gant wants to get rid of Edgeworth, but it's obvious the plan is to fire him after tomorrow's trial no matter what happens.   The only way to save Edgeworth (and oh yeah, our actual client who's barely been mentioned lately) is to bring Gant down.  I am on board with this.  He's a mean lying stinkyhead and he's smug about it.   Get him, Phoenix!

(Rereading my notes from last time,  I'm remembering the moment when Angel Starr told Edgeworth "I might be able to save you".  Did she know this was coming down? )

[reddie-fangirl24]

Richie, The Patient Chapter 2

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“Can you believe it, Rich? We have a full audience!” An excited Steve told him as they walked backstage. Richie did his best to keep up. Normally, he was faster than Steve, considering the height difference. 

Right from the moment, he showed up, there was no time to sit down which was what Richie needed to do. Before the show began they had to check mics, and do countless other tasks in preparation before the audience arrived. 

So far, he met Jack, one of the comedians that he was facing off, but there was no sign of Ronnie yet. To what Richie could decipher, he thought people were trying to figure out if she was in the building. Oh, he was going to figure out a way to roast her. That was if he could get his jumbled mind together.

“Rich, did you hear what I said?” Steve caught his attention. Just like that morning, Richie felt too heavy to even stand, wanting to sit. Smacking his lips together, a foul taste impacted his mouth. There was so much going on backstage that he couldn’t comprehend it all.

“Huh, what?” Richie asked, trying to wake up. His body ached whenever he moved. Especially his back. Due to that hard fall he took after... just thinking about that evil clown made his stomach turn.

“Rich, I’m trying to talk to you about important information, here! Are you all alright? Because you look not alright,” Steve said to him, worriedly. He noticed how pale he looked. From the very start when Richie first became a comedian, he witnessed a couple of times where the comedian had stage fright. 

Breathing in a good breath of air, Richie straightened his back more so he wasn’t slouching. One of the stage managers came over to tell them they had about ten minutes until showtime.

“I’m great,” he answered, smiling through the pain.

Getting backstage, Richie walked to his microphone which was in the middle of the three. He could hear the awaiting audience behind the curtain. Grasping his stomach, Richie cringed, bending over a bit. He could hardly hold the mic. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. 

“Everything okay, Richie?” Jack asked, putting a hand on his back. They only just met an hour ago. Richie noticed that Ronnie wasn’t here. Good, maybe she backed out. Battling against just Jack would be a lot easier.

Richie was so out of it that he wasn’t aware that the curtain opened revealing hundreds and hundreds of people applauding and cheering. That loud noise crushed Richie’s eardrums. Feeling sweat, Richie could only guess that it was because of all the stage lights. Those lights were hot enough to melt a blanket of snow. 

Blinking his eyes to focus, Richie couldn’t look at the audience without feeling his eyes swirl. 

“How are you doin’ this afternoon, guys?” Jack presented, waving to the audience.

Come on, Tozier, get a grip. “We-We have a great show.” Thankfully he was on a mic. He couldn’t speak any louder than his indoor voice which was unlike him.

“That’s right!” Came a woman’s voice. All hope drained out of Richie. Nobody told him that Ronnie was making her own grand entrance through the auditorium. Why didn’t he think of that?

Ronnie was dressed for the performance that was for sure. Wearing hippie-like pants and a crop top, her shoes were purple sketchers. She had the time to style her hair into a mohawk. Wow, were those her hoop earrings, or were her ears bigger than the normal human ear?

Coming right up on the stage, she stared down Richie like a hawk, immediately upstaging him. “I would have been here on time but Tozier’s batmobile is so big that I had to get a tow truck!”

Grimacing, Richie stepped in. Come to think of it, now he couldn’t even remember his own script. Oh well, here it goes. “Says the woman with oversized toes. I guess toes with undone nail polish make great trucks! Are those earrings supposed to be a stop sign?”

The crowd got a big kick out of that one. Maybe this was going to go smoothly.

Or so Richie thought. Most of the show was Jack and Ronnie taking cracks and making jokes. Richie made a few jokes, but he stopped in mid-sentence, feeling too sick to speak. He was only embarrassing himself. Did any of the audience notice that he was being strangely quiet? 

Someone had to be filming like they always did. Most of his performances went on Youtube. That one performance where he completely lost his whole train of thought, the audience was quick to come back at him, throwing out insults. Luckily, he saved himself, cracking a joke, and going on with the show. 

“Do you know how some couples try to pick a channel on TV?” Ronnie started. “Men take forEVER!”

“Is that so?” Jack asked, egging her on. Richie had no energy to speak trying to look away from the bright lights. His stomach...

“What do you say, Trashmouth? Do women take longer to pick a channel?” she battled against the man.

Suck it up, Tozier. “You want to know what I think?”

“Everybody wants to know what you think!” she indicated to the large crowd.

Oh, God, his stomach was on fire. Ignore it, it’s nothing! “I say...”

The audience howled. Not because of Richie’s attempt to roast his enemy. He threw up all over the stage.

Richie slowly stood back up, panic consuming him. He felt a hand on his shoulder. Everybody was in an uproar, disgusted by what they just witnessed, some trying to run out of the auditorium. Feeling his heart pounding, his throat closing up, Richie couldn’t think straight. What did he just do?

“I-I’m sorry...” Richie quivered into the microphone at an attempt to make this situation less embarrassing. What if they thought that this was all part of his routine.

The curtain closed. Immediately, Richie was lead away by a stagehand, and Jack at his side. Steve joined them, asking him questions he couldn’t understand. As he was leaving, he heard Ronnie complaining that he ruined her outfit. And then a voice came over the loudspeaker. Richie was so embarrassed and overwhelmed about everything that he couldn’t make out the words.

Finally, he was back in his dressing room. Peace. Except, Richie’s stomach wasn’t peaceful. He ran to the trash can, crunching down on his hands and knees just in time.

“Jesus, Rich, what’s that matter? Are you okay?” Steve asked, hovering from the scene. A stagehand came over to him and offered Richie a tissue to clean his mouth. He barely had the energy to walk over to the couch. When he made it, Richie curled up, groaning. It wasn’t the comfiest of couches, but at least it was something.

“... I’m sick...” Richie uttered, tears falling from his eyes as he grasped his ailing stomach. His throat hurt. Anytime he opened his eyes, everything spun in disorientating shapes. Everything hurt, aching.

“It wasn’t stage fright or anything, was it? Rich, do you think you can go back on?” Steve asked him pulling up a chair.

The thought of even going back out on that stage made his stomach lurch. Who wanted to see him anyway? “No.”

“Do you want us to call anyone? You should go home,” the stagehand suggested. Steve shook his head at the suggestion, but he agreed that it was for the better.

Richie wanted Eddie. He wanted his boyfriend to come to his rescue so he could save him from this nightmare. But, knowing how Eddie feared germs, he wasn’t going to be happy about this. Besides, he was running around doing a million different things at once. If he put this over his shoulders, Eddie was sure to pop out of his skin.

Trying to get comfortable on the couch, Richie’s eyes were so heavy. “Let me rest for a bit?”

“Are you sure? I can get the limp to send you home,” Steve suggested.

Richie couldn’t fight sleep.