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woeisme-iamwoe · 4 years

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an absolutely massive Haikyuu!! fic rec pt. 2

IwaOi this time around. My favorite ship. The world’s favorite ship...there’s so many

Undecipherable, by ioo (4k. G. canonverse)

I’m pretty sure the author meant ‘indecipherable’, nevertheless! I am appalled that this work doesnt have more hits. Y'all are sleeping on it and that's not okay.

The sound of the door slamming against the wall has Hajime startling back to the present. He looks at the source of the disturbance and finds himself face to face with Oikawa, red in the face with breathlessness and a leather-bound notebook tightly clutched in both of this hands. When he spots Hajime, he makes a beeline for the bench and slaps it down right next to him.

"Koi no yokan," he says. "The sense one can have upon first meeting a person that the two of you are going to fall in love."

primavera, by tothemoon (8k. T. canonverse)

All of tothemoon’s works read so beautifully

They say it takes twenty-six years, for certain breeds to fully bloom.

Learning to Walk (So That We Can Run), by ricekrispyjoints (27k. M. canon-divergence)

I've read this work so many times. Like, so many times and I’ve never tired from it. Gorgeous. The shift from friendship to romance felt so natural, love it.

"I'm not healing like I should be."

In his second year of university, physical therapy just isn't cutting it. Oikawa's knee is getting worse, and he can't hide it anymore.

Or: the light angst, project-your-own-life-experiences-on-Oikawa knee surgery fic you didn't know you wanted.

Priorities, by weirdmilk (2k. T. canonverse)

Kissy, kissy.

‘I just -’ Oikawa begins, ‘it might be difficult to get married, sometimes, I think.’ He chews on his lip.

Iwaizumi makes a questioning noise.

‘Ah,’ Oikawa says, and then, in a rush, ‘if I didn't want a wife at all - what then? If I said that to you. If I told you I can’t see it. Like - the wedding dress. The bride. I just can’t see it.’

Iwaizumi swallows again, his heart beating much faster than the conversation warrants. He wonders whether Oikawa can hear it. ‘You’re eighteen. You aren’t supposed to see it yet.’ He snorts. ‘I mean - if we’re sharing shit, I’ve never even kissed a girl.’ He doesn’t mind admitting it. It’s not something that bothers him - he’s never prioritised girls very highly, and despite Oikawa’s largely undeserved status as Miyagi’s most eligible teenage bachelor, he doesn’t think Oikawa has ever wanted a serious relationship with any of his fan club, either.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi can't sleep before their first practice match with Karasuno.

Before Midnight, by fathomfive (2k. G. canonverse)

Reads like a fairytale.

The sky turns, the seasons turn over, and Iwaizumi and Oikawa track the movements of the stars. Nothing is ever quite constant, but it's close enough.

The grass is stiff with frost. They walk in silence past the raked-over vegetable garden and up the back hill, footsteps crackling, and stand side-by-side at the top of an incline that used to seem much bigger. Iwaizumi glances over but Oikawa’s already gone, eyes searching the sky with no hint of hurry, just a kind of reverent patience.

make a bet, keep a promise, by raewrites (13k. M. canonverse)

Bet still on.

Sometimes, in still moments, Iwaizumi wonders why out of all the people on earth he ended up with Oikawa Tooru. Why it’s his face that lingers on his fading conscious in the last moments before he falls asleep, in the first blurry seconds upon waking up again. Why when he looks to his side, he expects Oikawa to be there in the same way he expects to see five fingers on both hands, a natural extension of himself, ever present.

Why he can’t imagine a future without Oikawa in it.

It begins with a bet made between the two boys in the mid-summer of their eighth year. It starts with volleyball, but like with most things involving Oikawa Tooru and Iwaizumi Hajime, things are never quite that simple.

our hearts still beat the same, by knightswatch

two birds, by thelittlebirdthattoldyou (5k. T. canonverse)

Of heartbreaking letters and paper crane wishes.

Five months into the term, two months after he’s stopped replying to Oikawa’s texts, the first package arrives. A small square box, wrapped in brown paper and tied with string, and Hajime almost trips over it on the way to his dorm.

There’s a letter attached.

Oikawa doesn’t know how many times he’ll have to put his feelings down on paper before Iwaizumi believes them.

Through My Eyes, by anchoringsouls (2k. G. canonverse)

Okay! Okay, we were doing great with the soft, happy love up until the last part! That's great, just great!

“I think if you ever saw yourself through my eyes, you would fall in love with yourself the same way the way I did with you.”

in time it could be ours, by deusreks (3k. T. canonverse)

Anyone wanna go back in time and make a time capsule with me only to dig it up years later and we’re actually in love?

Set post Seijou's match with Karasuno. There's a moderate amount of rolling in the dirt. No pajamas were hurt in the writing of this fic.

There, in their joint backyard, was Oikawa Tooru, clad in his silly luminescent space pajamas, digging a hole near a cherry tree.

“What the hell, Oikawa.”

Tooru stubbornly continued digging. He looked pitiful in that moment; everything that was grand about him in daylight was meaningless in the darkness. He was only a boy with a shovel whose broken heart mirrored Hajime’s own.

we can do better than that, by spaceburgers (16k. M. canonverse)

Of course, of course, the IwaOi road trip fic. AnD thErE wAs ONly OnE bED!

Oikawa and Iwaizumi go on a road trip during the summer after their high school graduation. It doesn't go as expected, but maybe that's not such a bad thing after all.

They Say it Rains Diamonds on Jupiter, by exsao (35k. T. canonverse)

I don't know, just gorgeous. Hajime’s so in love.

"You're in love with him."

Hajime considers denying it. He considers deliberately choking on his drink to express surprise, to create a distraction by spitting onto the man in front of him's pristine white shirt and causing a commotion. Instead, he swallows his mouthful of soda and heaves a small sigh once his mouth is free.

"Yeah," he says instead.

He's never been good at lying, anyway.

Midnight boys/sunset town, by carafin (10k words. T. Housemates AU):

The author says they played off of the fact that Oikawa oftentimes forgoes his sleep in order to work, and wrote it so that he doesn't sleep at all. This was so cute, kinda sad, mostly not. Love how Iwaizumi just goes along with whatever crazy stilch Oikawa is on.

In which Iwaizumi Hajime grows a few chili plants, participates in an eating contest, breaks into a park, and falls in love with a man who doesn't ever sleep - not exactly in that order.

5 Reasons Why Iwaizumi Hajime's Flatmate Is A Complete Weirdo (An Incomplete List)

1. He's obsessed with that stupid bucket list of his.

2. He's the proud owner of seven truly ugly, criminally hideous movie posters with aliens on them, which he insists on pasting all over the damn living room.

3. He's always stealing Hajime's sweatshirts.

4. Sometimes, he wakes Hajime up for breakfast. At 5AM. On Saturday mornings.

5. He literally never, ever sleeps.

The Best I Ever Had, by FindingSchmomo (62k words. T. Canon-divergent):

You’ve read it, your mum’s read it, your dog has probably read it (you really need to take facial recognition for him off your phone, he’s got some weird nighttime habits). So basically this fic caused me physical pain and then pumped me full of morphine and now I’m good! Beautiful read, hated Oikawa for a while, Iwaizumi is the only boy I would ever feel safe alone with.

A story of separation and time lost. Oikawa and Iwaizumi lose contact, and life goes on. Now, a decade later and back in Japan, Oikawa wonders if he can pick the pieces back together, despite knowing Iwaizumi has moved on. A story of their past, present and future, pieced together by shaky hands.

darlin', your head's not on right, by aruariandance (13k words. T. canonverse)

Again, I’m pretty sure anybody who's anybody has read this fic and for good reason! Super sweet realizing you're in love fic. Makes me reconsider wanting to get married.

'“Our wedding,” Oikawa says by way of explanation, tapping his finger against his magazine more emphatically. “What colors should we use? Color scheme is important, apparently.”

Iwaizumi feels his lifespan shortening.

“I was thinking our Aoba johsai colors to go for more, you know, softer tones? Besides, I’ve always looked great in that sea foam green color. Oh, and I guess you look decent in it, too.” He grins, saccharine sweet, and Iwaizumi has never been so tempted to knock one of his perfect pearly white teeth right out of his stupid mouth."

or,

Oikawa teases Iwaizumi about a childhood promise he made to marry him when they were older, except suddenly it's not really a joke at all.

the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle, by kittebasu (66k. T. canon divergent)

Is this one of the most famous Iwaoi fic? I don’t know. Looks like it, I know it's my personal favorite. Where Oikawa studies bugs for a living and can’t seem to come to terms with his feelings. Very angsty, love that in a fic.

Tooru is pretty sure he could manage the mating habits of a mosquito. It’s the mating habits of people he can’t seem to get right.

Terrarium, by sausaged (11k. T. Post-canon)

Honestly, I’m so surprised this fic doesnt have more hits! It’s so good! Made me ache! I love the memories and character growth shown through the growing of the terrarium, absolutely adore that kind of symbolism. So beautiful, give it some love because it's one of my absolute favorites.

He's practically a professional at being proactive (lies, lies, and lies when it comes to Iwaizumi).

At this point, is he really happy with just staying best friends forever? Will he be writing journals and collecting rocks forever (he will, he knows, but that is aside from the point)?

Can he really tag his Instagram photos with #YOLO if he doesn't actually put that phrase into practice?

A story about Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime, plants, and rocks.

Lips like sugar, by ohhotlamb (8k. T. canonverse)

Why did my childhood best friend never offer to help me practice kissing only for us to realize we were only interested in each other? I had a fake high school experience.

Hajime is offered to learn the art of kissing from a true professional, one Oikawa Tooru. It's not as bad as he thought it would be.

Falling Slowly, by bravely (commovente) (3k. T. canonverse)

So special, imagine loving one person, and one person only like this for the entirety of your life. This is getting too sappy, I want off of this ride.

over the years, some things change; but over the years, some things stay mostly the same.

(alternatively, mornings with oikawa and iwaizumi over the years).

No sleep in the city, by loveclouds (7k. T. canonverse)

Mass/volume = Iwaizumi, apparently. (Please. If anyone gets this absolutely horrific joke, lets elope).

Along their journey to find Tokyo's best ramen, Iwaizumi finds himself asked again and again why Oikawa is still single.

Time, by surveycorpsjean (5k. E. canonverse)

Growing older together.

When they're twenty-three, their story only begins.

Everything With You, by Ellessey (14k. E. canonverse)

Came damn near to crying, you can just feel Iwaizumi’s pain. Fight scene was probably the most emotion evoking one I’ve read in a long while.

‘Hajime still loves Oikawa, but he understands now. Oikawa can't look at him and see someone he could potentially date.

And that makes it easier to not focus on the little things that used to drive him crazy—Oikawa's long legs, the way he's always hanging off of Hajime, how his whole face changes when he gets ready for a jump serve, and he looks like he could take on the entire world and win.

This new arrangement though, this living together situation, is presenting a new set of variables that must be adjusted to, and the nakedness is one of them.’

For years, being Oikawa’s best friend has worked out fine. Hajime is hopelessly in love with him, but it’s enough. Then Oikawa—who, by all accounts, has never been anything but determinedly, assuredly straight—gets a boyfriend. Or a boy friend-with-benefits. Hajime doesn’t know, and he doesn’t give a shit about the definition.

What he knows is that remaining best friends is starting to seem a bit too painful (way too painful) to be considered a solid option.

The Best Best, by rikke (12k. T. canonverse/future fic)

Takeru is a whole mood. Don’t want kids, but I do want domesticity and this fic feeds me well.

“Congratulations, Iwa-chan! You’re a dad!” Iwaizumi hears as soon as the door opens. He’s dealt with Oikawa for all of his twenty-one years of age now, but this declaration is still sufficiently disturbing enough that he turns from his place on the couch and braces himself for whatever Oikawa has done this time.

Or the one where Iwaizumi and Oikawa babysit Takeru for a week.

cheek kisses, by ohhotlamb (G. 3k. Future fic)

Sooo cute!!

“Every time,” Hajime murmurs, “every time I see you again I remember how fuckin’ crazy I am about you.”

Routine, by snoqualmie (2k. T. canonverse)

Again, anyone wanna be my childhood best friend so we can put face masks on each other and fall in love? I died, truly.

Iwaizumi is fourteen years old, horny too often and angry all the time, and he’s just starting to notice that Tooru’s legs are really long, that his lips are kinda soft looking, and his fingers feel good pressed under his jaw.

Thirty Years and Change (the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad, by sunsmasher (19k. G. canon divergence)

Be wary, I would give this fic an upper rating to probably Teen and the follow-up fic is Explicit. But, Oikawa on the Japanese national team is just a dream as is, but add in a rekindling friendship and an angsty make out sesh? Mwah, delizioso.

It’s July 10th, 2024, and Oikawa Tooru is an Olympian. His smiling face airs on an NHK promo every 45 seconds. He’s captain of the national men’s volleyball team, reigning star of the professional leagues, and he hasn't spoken to Iwaizumi Hajime in two years.

He has, however, sent Iwaizumi tickets for the 2024 Los Angeles Summer Games.

“So go,” says Matsukawa's voice. “It’s only a few weeks. You’ve got a whole city to hide in if it gets awkward, and if it doesn’t get awkward, well…”

It’s like watching the future reconfigure, like being in high school again, watching team after team fall to Oikawa’s faultless planning and shameless charm.

“I’ll get to watch a whole lot of volleyball,” Hajime says, and resigns himself to fate and/or Oikawa Tooru.

“Hey, when you get there, can you bag a gymnast for me?” Hanamaki asks, and Matsukawa squawks.

Chasing Paper Suns, by carafin (10k. T. Future fic)

Again with the growing up and coming back together, this time with more angst than the last. Lovely, really lovely read.

Post-high school, Oikawa makes it to the national volleyball team but Iwaizumi doesn't. The next three years become an exercise in growing up without growing apart.

Some days Hajime likes to think of himself as Oikawa’s counterpart—the two of them blending into a single devastating unit, the invincible setter and his unyielding ace, the bond between them unbreakable and true. Other days he feels like he is chasing after a rising sun, always running and running with his eyes fixed on the distance, trying to cross a chasm that stretches on without end, caught in an endless and exhausting pursuit.

the yellow room, by ohhotlamb (14k. T. canonverse/future fic)

Makki and Mattsun see bullshit and call you out on your bullshit.

“I told you, we broke up like six months ago. We’re not dating anymore.”

Hanamaki eyes him suspiciously. “You live together.”

“Yeah, so?”

“There are pictures of you two kissing stuck to your refrigerator.”

Hajime shrugs. “That wasn’t my idea. Anyways, they’re good pictures. Good lighting.”

the river runs, by tothemoon (11k. T. post-breakup)

My heart ACHES. Happy ending, promise! Just read it.

One year since their breakup, Oikawa Tooru starts a list of daily reminders, tips, and tricks called HOW TO FORGET ABOUT IWAIZUMI HAJIME, and he’s determined to make it stick.

—

This is a firsthand account of how to deal (and rather spectacularly, at that).

I sure hope that guy gets fired, by Xov (29k. T. canonverse/time loop au)

The only thing better than one confession, is MULTIPLE confessions. Oikawa trusts Iwaizumi unshakably, and that's beautiful.

It was the fourth time experiencing the exact same day that Iwaizumi Hajime reluctantly admitted to himself that something was very wrong.

my only friend was the man in the moon (until i met you), by ohhotlamb (7k. T. canonverse)

Just so innocent and sweet. Oikawa said ‘effort’.

In which Oikawa has a life-altering revelation, and Hajime is starting to think it involves him.

Bet On It, by originalblue (13k. E. canonverse)

Tooru being nice for a week? That can only end one way… with a d*ck in Hajime’s mouth.

Hajime knows exactly how shitty Oikawa's personality is, and has no scruples whatsover about betting Oikawa six thousand yen that he can't be nice for an entire week.

especially for tender ones like us, by viverella (17k. T. canonverse/post break-up)

Gods! See? See what I mean? How could I forget about a work as heart wrenchingly beautiful as this? Give it some love, actually, all of the love.

The worst part of it all, Tooru thinks to himself sometimes, is that even as they fought and kicked and screamed and tore each other to shreds, it was never that Tooru stopped loving Iwaizumi any less. The worst part of it all, he thinks, is that loving Iwaizumi turned out to not be enough.

(OR: on finding the right person at the wrong time and learning how to pick up the pieces)

sunset town, by skiecas (33k. T. canon-divergent)

Another work that I just CANNOT understand why it doesn't have more hits. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. I almost cried.

In the summer of 2020, Oikawa Tooru returns home from his first successful stint as captain of Japan’s national volleyball team. In one hand, he holds the undisputed weight of an Olympic medal, and in the other, his unresolved feelings for a childhood best friend.

Two years down the road, reconciling his lifelong dream with his lifelong love proves to be the greatest challenge.

of odd numbers and intimate regrets, by bravely (commovente) (5k. T. post-canon/one night stand au)

Basically, Tooru and Hajime sleep together after not speaking for seven years and of course there’s feelings and angst and a belated chance at happiness and a life together.

Tooru’s spent the last seven years of his life in a carefully constructed schedule that is, he realises now, as much a habit as it was a way to forget about the person in front of him.

[or, the one night stand AU between two people more than friends but not quite lovers, measuring the passage of time in distance and long-gone memories, the expansion and contraction of the spaces between their fingers each time.]

cross my heart, open wide, by acchikocchi (7k. T. canonverse)

Super cute, super short. Realizing you're on a date with the wrong person one-shot.

For a minute Hajime doesn't know what to say. Everything and nothing crowds his mind, leaving no room to think. That he's never tried this. That volleyball's over. That he's graduating in five months. That it would be really nice, at least once, to go on a date with a good-looking guy.

Hajime goes on a date. It's not with Oikawa.

Fernweh, by oikawashoyo (19k. G. canonverse/post time skip)

A mature(ish) Tooru?? I love works that show Tooru growing and living happily in Argentina and this one is just beautiful. (Plus! Plus, Skai did a piece on it as well and I love ALL their work so you can visualize everything). Love it.

Argentina is stretching out before him, an opportunity, a challenge. He is reminded of his losses, his insecurities, his disappointments; sees them form a tall, tall wall blocking his path to success. He takes a deep breath and knows he is going to shatter it.

In which Oikawa's whole life is spent longing for the horizon — in the form of a dream, a home, and a boy.

i breathe easily in your arms, by orphan_account (2k. M. canonverse)

Soft, soft sex

When, after completing their high school graduation ceremony and heading home to enjoy their freedom, Oikawa had pulled him into his room and pressed his lips hesitantly against Iwaizumi’s own, it seemed an inevitable development in the unfolding narrative of their shared existence.

Despite years of having a bed to himself, the sensation of another body taking up space in his sheets, curling against his chest, creating warmth, feels natural in much the same way.

old and new, by Mysecretfanmoments (5k. T. canon divergence)

Finally a fic where they don't freak out on confession and it's sweet.

“You seem—sad.” Was that the right word? Others sprang to mind: desperate, lonely, anxious.

Tooru looked away. “Are you going to make me say it?”

“Say what?”

Tooru folded his arms, sighed. “I missed you, of course.”

Hajime swallowed.

“No need to look that way. I told you, I’m not one of your macho man buddies. I’m allowed to say stuff like that without being embarrassed—”

“You’re being ridiculous,” Hajime complained. “No need to be so defensive. I’ve missed you too.”

“Oh?” Tooru seemed to get a little of his own back, leaning forward on his elbows. “What about me did you miss?”

((Going to separate universities, Hajime and Tooru learn the true meaning of "distance makes the heart grow fonder"))

all i wanted was you, by spaceburgers (6k. E. college/fwb au)

This was more emotional than I thought a 6k friends with benefits fic could be, okay? Okay.

Wherein Hajime and Tooru are fuck buddies, Hajime curses his treacherous heart, and Tooru is bad with feelings.

we shine like diamonds, by whitemiists (26k. T. canon divergence)

I couldn't not include this work. It deals with internalized homophobia so well and I really resonate with it.

In all seriousness, I’m very lucky to live in a country where my sexuality is widely accepted and my heart goes out the LGBTQIA+ peoples who are forced to hide themselves. You are loved and your sexuality and gender-identity are not wrong and never will be.

Oikawa is nine when he first hears the word. The boys on the playground whisper it like it's dirty, like the way they daringly mutter the word fuck and then look over their shoulders to check their parents hadn't heard.

"You know Abe-kun from class?" they snicker, hands cupped around their mouths like they're passing along a filthy secret. "I hear his older brother is... gay."

Look For Him, by Leryline (18k. E. canonverse)

A collection of kisses. I love Hajime’s grandmother.

She laughs gently. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so heartbroken before, Hajime.”

Iwaizumi sighs and prods at the mackerel with a chopstick. “Sorry. I can’t help it. It’s just different, you know? Like Oikawa pissed me off so much that now he’s not here I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“But you weren’t always annoyed with him, were you?” his grandmother smiles serenely and takes a sip of her tea. “My, my, Hajime, old women see everything. I saw you out there with my finches, when you were kissing Tooru’s nose. Your mother and father used to do the very same thing, you know, when they were younger. And look how long they’ve lasted. I hope you and Tooru last, Hajime. He’s very good for you.”

Oikawa has kissed Iwaizumi more times than either of them can count; it’s a constant thing, their lips never really leaving the other’s skin. There are, however, times when they’ve kissed that are burned into their memories. Eight of them, to be precise.

film reel life, arsenicjay (8k. T. canon divergence)

Such a unique and creative idea! Reading from the eyes of a camera, so beautiful!

The only person Iwaizumi is lying to is himself, when he insists: I am not in love with Oikawa Tooru.

how to let your planets align, by tether (tothemoon) (15k. T. end of the world au)

This is the only remotely non-happy ending fic I will be including on here, and it's purely because it's a gorgeous read. And yes, I ached. Your lips, my lips, apocalypse.

It is the last day on earth, December 2nd, 1985, when you realize you're in love with him.

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fic #haikyuu fic rec #iwaoi #iwaizumi x oikawa #Iwaizumi Hajime #oikawa tooru

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maladaptive-ninja-returns · 4 years

Text

It’s The Avengers (03x10)

Loki x Reader Avengers The Office AU (Slowwwwww Burn)

Season 3 Episode 10: Safehouse

Series Summary: Living in the Avengers facility post-apocalypse in a better timeline Tony Stark has decided to capture every moment by pulling The Office on the Avengers. All of housemates are pretty used to the idea except for you, who had just come here to finish her degree, and the newest member- Loki.

Warnings: soft moments

Word Count: It is an achievement to get this chapter out. Imma celebrate it. Oh fanfic Gods! Give me the power!

MASTERLIST in bio, darlings. Tags are open (check bio)

The camera only had space made up with the galactic beauty swirling in deepest green that can put the stars to shame. The black hole seemed to become bigger as the camera has decided to use a snail's pace to zoom out, giving the audience quite the treat into the pool seems to disappear and reappear under the pale lids with unsurprisingly long lashes. Those veritable brows are wrinkled- enough to make one concerned but not enough to force someone to come and sit next to him with an ice-cream sundae as Peter did once- as if wondering something under their hypothetical breaths. The camera panned out more to show those thin lips going thinner, almost into one nearly invisible line. A long breath is drawn in and those long white fingers are made to rest on his chin as he looks up into an endless void and even Javier- who is being recorded by the other tiny drone- is thinking some stuff. The camera panned out further to show him half lying on the pilot seat while his legs rested on the cargo box behind, away from the controls. A true piece of art.

Javier: *signs as he points to his tablet with Loki's live feed* this God could be a fucking model. *fans himself*

It wasn't long before his voice broke the silence. "Maybe it is the food," he contemplates for the room where his only audience is a busy fur-baby licking his nethers. "Or maybe it was the people on Knowhere. Or it was just that...dingy old-" Loki's casually furry brows were now carrying a full frown- "lair. I don't know." The sigh the left his lungs was loud enough to reach to the back while he lifted his legs to ground himself and droop into his own lap, running his hands through his nearly greasy hair. When was the last time he washed them? "Why is she mad, Lulu?" Loki groans, trying to massage his head to get something out of it. Lulu, on the other hand, decided this was the best time to lie upside down and play with the one blue firefly that got stuck in their ship while they were leaving Knowhere. "Why has she locked herself back there?" He raised his head and asked some invisible force before looking at Javier's camera.

Loki: I'm not concerned for her *pretends to shrug* I just *blinks* don't want my ship to be flooded with her tears. Humans just have the tendency to go all out with their hurt and pain unlike some of us. *camera zooms in to his face* *resting bitch face on* Tell a word about this to her and I will cut you.

A click of something in the back immediately heightened Loki's senses to make his elbow slip from the chair, making him look for support long enough to pose in the chair with the nearest piece of reading material like a man lost in a completely different world, doing an award-worthy job of pretending to not see you come in. "Do we have some sort of digestive tablets on board?" Your hoarse voice asked while barely looking around the space. "I feel bloated. It's fucking disgusting." The groan you let out made Lulu sit up and tilt his head in your direction with his fur standing straight on his back. Loki tsked, still not looking up from the catalogue of the best sex robots on the market in Knowhere. "I told you not to eat those Cheese Puffs on Know-" "OH MY FUCKING GOD!!" Your rage-filled outburst caught the god by surprise, making him jolt up enough to be caught by the camera for the amusement of a certain group of people hungry for entertainment. "THosE FUckING chEEse puFFs wOn'T do me as much damage as your BICKERING!!!" The painful frustration that left your lungs made Javier's eyes go wide. Loki turned to look at the camera in pure confusion.

Loki: *a glorious frown on his face* *arms crossed* *bites lower lip* *inhales* *raises finger* maybe she is sexually frustrated? Space can no human touch can do that to you. And she clearly hasn't watched porn since we teleported *scoffs lightly* *rolls eyes* thank Valhalla for that. I no longer have to hear those filthy noises from across the wa- *stops mid-sentence when a mug comes flying to hit him in the head* "Pervert," you call from out of the frame while Loki ruffles his hair to remove the shards of ceramic caught in there. Loki: Okay *stares at the camera* maybe she's not sexually frustrated. *pauses with his lips still apart* *camera pans in* unless this tantrum is a human way of getting my atten- *another mug comes flying*

"Okay," Loki spun around in his chair to put the ship in full throttle for a destination only he knew about, "that's it. I did not want it to come to this but we are landing here." The camera spun to you and your crinkled brows. "We are supposed to get back your juice, man. Stop making unwanted pit-stops." Lulu's camera caught the disgust on Loki's face as he closed his eyes and shook his head lightly. "Stop saying that." "What?" You crossed your arms across your chest, narrowing your eyes while glaring at the back of his head. "Your juice?" "It's my essence." "But it is your juice. You took it out and now you want to put it back in." "The essence was extracted out of me and I need to consume it-" "You know that sounds worse, right?" "..." "Don't worry, baby, we'll get your bad bitch juice." "It's NOT a ju-why am I even arguing." "Because it's a turn on," you muttered under your breath before sitting down with Lulu in your lap and tying your seat belt. "What?" Loki turned his head around. "Nothing." Innocent as ever.

Loki: I think she's forgetting I have good ears. *narrows eyes and puckers his lips*

You: Oh I know he has super-hearing. That's why I leave my laptop on a decent volume with some classic porno on whenever I'm mad at him. *shrugs and leans back in the chair* *camera pans in on your smirk*

On a Planet Unknown The cameras took in the expanse of the barren planet the group had landed on. The ground seemed to have been hit with a drought. There were small hills in the distance and a few craters scattered all over. The star of this solar system shone too far, bright with pink hues on its tails, making everything drown in a tinge of blush. It was hard to miss this strange sentiment on Loki's face. A mixture of nostalgia with a side of something sour. He breathed in this atmosphere, closing his eyes to reminisce something the others did not have a clue about. A serene smile painted on his lips while his skin reflected the baby pink hues with delicate softness. Javier, talented with his work, used his hovering little drone cam to slowly and cautiously pan in on Loki's face, being really patient on the controls in his hands. "So this is where your juice is?" The zooming in stopped as Loki's eyes opened, blinked twice and sighed some of his internal frustration out. "My-" you could see the boiling lines of frustration on his face while Javier caught the suppressed delight on yours- "juice...is not here." "Then why are we here?" "To get rid of you-" You whipped your head faster than he could finish. "-r grey clouds." Suspicion fresh on your face, you waited for him to continue. "When I'd fallen into the wormhole after my... alleged demise, this was the first place I discovered after a series of misfortunes," Loki exhaled, looking at clean nothingness in front of them. It was not much but Javier zoomed in your face that did a slow shift from the barren view to the sharp face that reflected nothing but a painful softness in those melodramatic hues. "This-" your voice was softer than you wanted it to be- "was your...safehouse?" Loki inhaled and turned to give you a thoughtful look. "In some ways, yes." The hints of smile that were on Loki's face seemed to question the expression on your face as your lips parted in slight horror before he was witnessing you jump away from something and right into his arms with a scream. "Something touched my foot!!!" No one really told Javier to focus on a specific genre yet there he was, letting his camera do a slow-mo on the way Loki's arm came to the rescue of your waist, holding you steady. And close to him. Javier neither missed the frantic grasp of Loki's black shirt under his overcoat by your hands as you turned around to watch what menace had bothered to make you their next victim.

Javier: *signing* I do not know how to activate Lulu's stomach music otherwise I would have added a cheesy track too. *smiles* *somewhere on Earth a boy forgets to breathe*

"Relax," Loki soothed you as he looked down at the familiar purple and pink light crawling up through the cracks in the ground, "here. Look." He did not push you away, in fact, he held you just as he did while you followed his gaze to look at seedling sprouting through the ground and growing leaves and a bud right in front of you in real-time; the bonus being the glow-in-the-dark veins and petals that shone purple and pink. A muted 'Woah' left your lungs while Lulu examined the little plant, tapping at it with his paw to be amused by the ripple he created in the bioluminescent flora. Loki leaned a little closer to your ear while you were still gawking at the plant next to your feet. "Look up," he whispered. "Huh?" Your eyes instantly went away from the plant towards the field that now had an abundance of these flowers while trees grew at a distance carrying the same effect in their leaves- with purple fire trapped inside them. "What the hell is this place?!" You could barely breathe. Loki, on the other hand, was having a gala time at the expense of your expressions. "There was once a...lets say a conscious planet that went by the name Ego. Ego created an ecosystem that would survive in the absence of a star and when in the presence of it, it would camouflage itself to keep the biome intact, because, you know, greedy neighbours, bad rocks, invading aliens, yada yada." You look at the camera to shake your head. "What you are standing on right now is a chunk of that ecosystem." You looked around once again. "So, this thing was bigger than what it is now?" Loki was delighted by your interest. "Yes. It was ten times the size of the earth. And-" he added with such a gush of stress that you were scared he was going to burst any moment- "it had dinosaurs."

You: *guffaws* Haha! Nerd!

Loki: *suspiciously stared at the camera* What. I have interests too, you judgy clots. *somewhere outside the frame you softly shout 'It's thots!'* Yes. *does not waver his gaze from the camera* That.

"Damn! I could live in this place forever!" Loki narrowed his eyes in slight discomfort. "Weeeellll-" The camera cut to you looking like you saw a ghost. "EGO WAS PETER QUILL'S DAD????!!!!!" You shout right into the frame before your body freezes and the shock disappears into a blank slate. "Wait a second..." The camera was already turning to Loki who was shaking his head and whispering to himself, "She went there."

You: *confusion level: the white guy who went to India instead of Indiana* How did Quill's parent even have sex?!! *camera pans in on the gasp that escapes you* Tentacles! *the camera pans out to show Loki standing next to you with he arms crossed across his chest* Loki: *tired* Pervert.

"This is a dead rock with the remnant prints of Ego," he continued, "Come, let's go inside." Saying that he started to walk in some random direction according to you while bringing his hand for you to take. Your eyes went from those long fingers open and waiting for you before looking at the back of his head. A step more from him and you rushed your hand to take his, wrapping your fingers carefully around his palm. The camera was quick to catch your free hand going for the back of your ear, scratching some itch while silently walking some distance with the God. "Wh-" you cleared the vibrating disturbance in your throat- "where are we going?" "Just a few more steps." And true to his words, a few steps later, Loki stopped, making you pause right next to him. Letting go of your hand- something that made you grip those fingers in the other hand, trying to wring them dry of secrets only you knew- to feel something in the space in front of him with his palm. And when he did, he grabbed the space and yanked it back, revealing the space to give way to a cottage. A small, dark, probably comfy cottage. In the middle of nowhere. Covered in glowing purple moss. While you stood there gaping at the incomprehensible science happening in front of you, Loki undid the padlock on the front door to open and enter first. "Stay outside till I tell you to come in," he ordered, not realising you were too engrossed in the exterior architecture of this little house to listen to him. Javier sent one of his drones inside while waiting outside with you. "Dude!" You exhaled while punching Javier on his arm, "this is heaven!!!" Turning the camera to face him, Javier looked at it and signed 'is it though?'. "Alright, come in," Loki's voice called for you from inside. "Hiding your porn stash, Loki?" you stated quite rhetorically before the camera found you frozen at the entrance of what looked like a living room. And your eyes stuck on Loki's face softly illuminated by the blue-ish purple flames captured inside a foot long lamp in the shape of a cuboid. You stood there in a ten-second daze, your eyes stuck on the face that worked meticulously with four more similar lamps before turning to look at you, immediately making you throw your gaze at the lamps. "Nice lights," you stated, a little louder than usual, clearly confused by your own pitch. Loki walked around the place, hanging the lamps to help light up the cottage, allowing you, the cameras and Lulu to explore the place more freely. The cottage felt more spacious on the inside. There was a sofa facing a window where you stood, a small but decent workstation behind it next to the wall with small tools stacked by the size and category. The walls were decorated with a league of tools that only Loki knew about. "Is that a Ghili suit?" you had to ask. "Yes," Loki answered without looking from the kitchen, "and no, you cannot try it on." You tsked and Loki smiled. "So-" you clapped your hands and walked around casually, letting your legs stretch with each step- "where the beds at." Loki turned to face you, taking a step towards you, holding his arm up to take the support of the ceiling as he leaned in to get his face close to yours. Javier- clever as ever- zoomed in at the bulge of Loki's bicep wanting to get free of the lone t-shirt that barely got to see the light of the day with that unexplainably fashionable overcoat. There was a split second where the camera looked at Lulu scratching away at the sofa in the living room, drawing his attention with a click and gesturing something out of the frame to make the little furball pause the massacre for a few seconds before pressing his stomach.

Can't Keep My Eyes Off You Lo-Fi version starts playing through Lulu's stomach.

"There are no beds here, darling," Loki cooed with his signature smirk right in your face. "There is only a bed." Your composure might have slipped for a second with his model-like posture but you had seen enough fuckboys in your life to deal with the God's sense of play. "Oh," you stressed sullenly while taking off your jacket and throwing it on the couch over Lulu, "guess we'll have to make do with what we have." You knew your puppy dog eyes won't do much on this creature but that slight distortion in his gaze when he blinked to look down at your sweaty tank top before coming back to your face was worth it all.

You: *chuckling* no matter where they come from they are all horny at some point under it all, aren't they?! *looks away from the lens at Javier* Hmm? *mocking a laugh* What? I was just joking with him. That's how friends joke with each other. *glares at Javier with the smile still smacked on your face* Don't read into it. *camera swerves to show Javier sign* Javier: Will Mr Stark think this as a joke? Just asking? *camera swerves back to the one-eighty your expression does* You: Oh, he'll kill him.

Back On Earth "Ooooh, Tony's gonna murder that punk." Sam's crackling whisper was followed by nods and hums from Peter, Scott and Wanda. Vision was the only one who tilted his head in deep thought. "Is it because Loki held Y/N's hand and holding one's hand shows a sign of affection?" "Yes, our big robot baby," Scott sang while feeding Vision another popcorn. "But Wanda and Natasha hold hands too. But it seems absurd for me to get mad at that," the AI continued while Wanda chuckled. "Wanda and Natasha holding hands is akin to two sisters holding hands," Scott explained, "and that's the only concept we will go with if we all like our necks intact." All the boys agreed. "Now Loki, on the other hand, is seen as a threat by Tony because Y/N, his daughter, is young and still a baby in his eyes whom he wants to protect at all costs. While Loki- thanks to his chiselled looks and accurately hot manners- seems like the boy no father would want their daughter to date. Because a man like that takes seconds to make a girl fall in love with him. Look at the dude. Look at the bod. And that's when he is wearing clothes on clothes on clothes. No wonder Tony wouldn't want him within a hundred feet of his daughter." Now, everyone was looking at a sighing Scott giving heart eyes to Loki on the screen. The camera turned to show a previously busy-with-her-nails Natasha pausing to look at the Ant-Man and wonder. "You are in love with Loki." "Head over heels, woman," Scott smiled without looking away from the screen. "Tell me one thing," Peter asked out of curiosity while chewing on the popcorn, "you learned the word 'akin' today, didn't you?" "It was the word of the day on dictionary.com," he replied without missing a beat.

Space Farm Safehouse One of Javier's camera had followed you up the attic, while you went looking for a place to hang your wet clothes. Unlike the eerie space shown in the movies, this one was spacious, had an entire wall with a window and a sofa set in the direction to enjoy the view of the flora sparkling outside. Putting your clothes on what looked like a wooden chair in the corner, you sat down on the sofa, eyes stuck on the view outside. The camera rotated to capture the wave of purple embers riding the plants and the cracks of the ground. The camera watched you inhale when steps were heard coming up the stairs, a figure out of focus walking behind you, disappearing to let you feel the cushion dip next to you. "Feels one hell of a place hide from the world," you whispered, never blinking for the fear of missing it all. La vie en rose Louis Armstrong but it's raining Loki chuckled. "Who hurt you?" The playful grin on Loki's face turned to ash when he turned and watched you sniffle while huge tears fell from your eyes. The God's face knew a new type of fear when he turned to the camera.

Loki: *raises his hands in defence* I swear upon my own self I meant it as a joke. *looks at the camera* Tony, if you are seeing this, it was a joke.

"Why does it hurt so much?" You sobbed while your eyes never once stopped the tap that had been set free. "Even after so many years, why do all those old memories hurt so much?" Loki did open his mouth to say something but nothing came out. He brought his hand forward to keep it on your shoulder but stopped short, taking it up to your head before receding his hand back to himself. "W-" "I am having a good day and suddenly I cannot stop thinking about the time my mom ripped all my drawing because she wanted me to do something more 'productive'. It's been, what, twelve years and that stupid memory is fucking me up today." By this time you were ugly crying, trying to stop your snot from coming out of your nose. Loki shuffled where he sat, finally bringing his hand up to let his fingers touch your head. "There, there," he sputtered, the pain of embarrassment bright on his face. "Loki I-uh-I am sooo sorry!" You bawled, clearly confusing the God even more. "You don't have to be s-" "I met Frigga on Knowhere," you stated between your tears and jerks, making him pause where he sat. "And obviously she was supposed to meet you but got stuck with me for some reason. And then before we could come to you, I asked her if she was the good guy, you know. To make sure she was not going to hurt you. And she was super sweet and she smiled at me and then disappeared and I am so sorry you were not able to meet her because of me." It felt like ages passed when Loki blinked and brought himself to the current space and time. His brows furrowed and his iris seemed to open wide in some heavy revelation. "Is that why you have been struggling since we left Knowhere?" You sniffled and took the white rag that came out of frame, making the camera pan out to watch Lulu sitting by your feet ready with another rag for you. No one knew where he got them from. "Is this why you did not talk to me the entire trip?" You nodded before blowing your nose into the rag and tossing it into the basket kept in the corner. Loki sighed. "Y/N." He scooched closer to you, taking your shoulders to turn you towards him."Look at me." You did. "My mother disappearing on you is not your fault." You whimpered, forcing him to move each of his hand from your shoulder to your face, his fingers running the length, allowing his palm to anchor itself over your jaw. "Frigga was a Witch. And she was no ordinary Witch. If she found a way to meet you even after her death then I am confident that she will find a way to meet me too. Okay?" He waited for an answer. The camera panned in to look at your tear-smeared face nod in between his hands. "Now I want you to tell me something-" he sang soothingly being as gentle with his words as with those hands still stuck on your face- "did these old memories come up after you met her?" That guilty puppy look you gave him confirmed some fear of his. He said something under his breath that sounded like an alien curse. Almost drooping with his eyes closed, he pulled himself back to face you. "I'm sorry you had to go through that, Y/N." He let his thumb stroke your cheek, neither of you realising how you leaned into his touch. "I think there is something else that made me go through it," you muttered through your hoarse throat. Loki simply nodded. "I think I'm about to start my-" "Period," Loki finished your sentence, sighing and taking his hands away from your face to let one arm move around your shoulder. "I know. I could hear your uterus howling on the ship." You adjusted yourself on the couch to bring your legs up and rest your head on his shoulder. "That must be quite scary for you, hearing my insides like that." "Ehh," Loki answered, looking at the scenery outside while meteors passed through the sky, lighting up when entering the atmosphere, "not as scary when your intestines growling before you let all the air out of your syste-ow!" "It's gas! It's normal. Get over it, you twat!" The sound of his chuckle reverberated throughout the cottage. Lulu slept at the foot of the couch while the two of you talked some more till sleep took over one and the other found a blanket to cover you and let your rest. "Let's find some cure for this bloody situation in the morning," Loki whispered to your snoring figure; finding himself sitting the foot of the sofa for a few more minutes before letting his hand pat your head a few times. Two pats and he moved his hand away, watching the camera entering the space. "What are you looking at?" he softly threw in Javier's direction, getting up and walking past him. "Go to sleep. I'll wake you up just with the first rays."

The Lounge "Oof! These idiots 'bout to fall in love." The camera zoomed out to show Rhodey sipping his morning coffee while Peter and Scott slept over each other on the couch, snoring quite loud while Zuko licked Peter's face while standing on the armrest. Rhodey looked at the duo, judging them and their will to sit there for more than twenty-four hours. "You guys are lucky Tony has another daughter to think about right now." He tsked and turned back to the TV, muttering 'fangirls' under his breath before walking away to get a refill.

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too-scared-to-do-this · 4 years

Text

Of the Devil’s head

Chapter four - Bloody hell!

Sander’s side fanfiction

Wordcount: 1304

Ships: still just prinxiety

TW: mentions of blood, cursing, injury, post-operations stuff talk kinda, imprisonment, a lot of panicking and distress - which kind off resembles an anxiety-attack but not really. I think I’ve got all. As always, if I missed anything, let me know, please. I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. :3

Summary of the whole story: They say, the one that wears the crown rules all - the living, the dead, the walking, the crawling, the rooted, the sane and the mad. They say, once you own the crown, you become the most powerful being on Earth and beyond. Roman’s stolen bigger things - a measly little crown won’t present a problem, even if he has to steel it straight off of the devils head!

-----------------------------------------

Chapter four - Bloody hell!

Not only does time not work in Hell, but apparently physics doesn’t either. Because no matter how Virgil looked at it, there was just no way this weird figure could’ve fallen straight onto him from the place he was situated at.

He was climbing the throne from the back. Reaching from the side. So please explain to him, how the hell was he able of falling fall over and landing directly on top of the king?

Either Hell was truly that massed up, or this person was just unconventionally clumsy.

Virgil didn’t have much time to ponder on it, though. He yelped and pushed the stranger off. Which resulted in poor Roman landing on his back on the hard ground. Broken stalagmites and new once that were just growing out pushed into his back, his head hitting a particularly sharp one.

Dull ache spread through his whole body. “Aw…” he groaned weakly, reaching for his head. Carefully trying to lift himself into a sitting position, the voices around him started to come back to him.

Someone on his right was barely breathing, short fast breaths not enough to satisfy their lungs. And someone on his left was laughing their ass off.

Roman frowned at the general direction of the laugh. This was not funny.

And why was everything so hazy? His vision was fogged and blurry and his hearing muffled and muted down. And oh god, his head!

He pulled his hand away. Even this out of focus, he could make out the big red splotch that covered his palm. Well, this is just great!

He had to get out of there before these things could lock him up, but the room was starting to spin and his eyes got kind off heavy… He just wanted to lay down… just for a little bit….

“Startup immediate! Let’s fucking eat him!”

Well at least that’s what Roman made out of what the creature on his right said. And that didn’t sound like the most pleasant thing. He didn’t feel like sleeping anymore. He had to get up! He had to run!

In reality, what Virgil said was: “Shut up, you idiot! They’re fucking bleeding!”

Panic seeping all the way to his bones he rushed over to the distressed stranger. This wasn’t good! He couldn’t leave them to just bleed out!

Remi paid his master’s stressed-out state no mind. He was too preoccupied leaning over, just barely standing - laughing so hard. “And?”

Virgil couldn’t believe this! “Remington! Go get the fucking healers!”

When Virgil got distressed and needed people to listen, his voice pitched down a few octaves and doubled over. Demons called it his Monster voice.

In this particular instance, the Monster voice was nothing compared to the way he roared at the servant.

He immediately shut up and ran off to find help.

The king was left alone with a very woozy, barely conscious and scared to death Roman. “Oh shit! Don’t die on me...! Please...!”

He didn’t know what to do with his hands. Could he touch the creature? Should he touch them? What if they have a broken rib or something?

They ended up just awkwardly hovering over the wounded figure.

Meanwhile, Roman didn’t even know what was going on. His mind was too foggy to comprehend anything. He just sat there, willing himself to think the one thought he needed to think.

But what was that thought again?

Some-Something about… running?

Yeah, yeah that…

He… he wanted to run. From what...?

Nobody seemed to be nearby… So why did he want to…

Wait, what did he want again…?

Oh, right. Sleep…

Virgil’s hand-hovering came to an end the moment the med-team stepped into the hall. “Your Majesty.” the demons all bowed.

“Stop bowing and get this Human to the med-bay! Immediately!”

“Yes sir.” the main healer nodded shortly and rushed over to the thief. The rest followed.

The devil let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and fall back against the throne. It was going to be okay now. His healers are the best in the under-world. They’ll take care of them.

He watched as they took the now unconscious figure away. Remi walked up to him, not-bothered as always. “I don’t see why we couldn’t just left it to bleed out.”

Virgil was too tired for this. His mind was going three miles per second and he just needed to calm down… He turned his cold gaze at the demon. “You’re a mind reader. Figure it out.”

That shut Remi up. No matter how much fun it would’ve been to see the Human suffer, hearing what ran through his king’s head wasn’t fun at all. He wasn’t about that. “I’ll be throwing down damned souls into the pit. If you need me, just call my name, babe. Byeeeee!!” And with a finger-wiggle wave, he left the room.

Virgil didn’t feel like getting up. The ground seemed comfortable enough for now. (There wasn’t much of a difference between it and the throne anyway.)

A Human being. A living, breathing, Human flashbang. He hasn’t seen a living specimen in… He doesn’t even know when was the last time one stood before him.

And now there was one in his med-bay. Antichrist, this was bad!

What is he even supposed to do with a creature like that? Besides torture, obviously. Sweet mother of evil!

The devil sat there, contemplating un-life until one of the healers walked into the hall.

“Your highness, the Human has been dealt with. We stopped the bleeding, and stitched up the wound best we could. It is still unconscious, though, so we locked it in one of the cells, temporarily.”

“Thank you, Lucius. Let me know when they wake up.”

“Yes, sir.” with that, the servant left. And Virgil finally climbed back on that uncomfortable throne. He pulled his phone out, and started scrolling through Tumblr once again. Things didn’t seem so boring anymore.

Roman came to a few hours later - not that he knew how much time had passed. What he knew though, was that he was in a dark cell guarded by two demons. Even through his hazy brain he could understand the situation he was in - he was a prisoner. ”Oh, holly mother Teresa!” he freaked, standing up and rushing over to the bars. Well, more like he stumbled...

“You have to let me out! Come on! You don’t understand! Let me out!” he gripped the cold stone bars.

One of the guards looked at him, then exchanged looks with the other. The second nodded and left, leaving Roman with a very angry looking demon.

He gulped. “Mr. Ehr, Miss- am… I… ah, please let me go…?”

The guard didn’t even glance at him.

Well, this was going well.

The second guard entered the throne hall and bowed down deep. Virgil rolled his eyes. “I’ve been telling you for thousands of years to stop bowing! It’s betting annoying.”

The demon straightened up immediately, nodding ashamed. “I apologize, your evilness.” Another eyeroll. These titles were getting better by the decade.

“What’s up, Derius?” he leaned on the arm-rests, razing his eyebrow.

“The prisoner woke up.”

Oh. Oh shit. Okay. Okay... “Are they okay?”

“It seems fine. IA bit out of it and scared, but that is to be expected. We did just imprison it in an environment completely different from his natural habitat…”

Virgil nodded, feeling his heartrate spike and slow again. They were all right.

Then an idea popped up in his head. Slowly, a grin pulled at his lips. Remi wanted fun, didn’t he?

Virgil could be fun. (Now that he knew nothing serious was happening with the Human.) Virgil could be very, very fun. He bit his lip and looked up at the guard.

“Bring me that thief.”

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Iiiiiiii can’t even believe it!

Another part, right the next day? I’m kicking this block’s ass, y’all! :D And look where we are! Remember that first anonymous comment that started all this?

But hey, I really hoped you enjoyed it. :3

If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask. If I have an answer I’ll gladly share it. And if I don’t, you just helped me come up with another addition to the story ;D

I’ll be back with a new chapter as soon as possible :)

(I wasn’t kidding when I said this was becoming my new hyper-fixation XD)

Bye, for now <3

Tag list:

@alice-only-me

#of the devil's head #demon/thief au #prinxiety #ts virgil #ts roman #ts remi #ts sleep #remi aka sleep #virgil sanders #roman sanders #thomas sanders #sanders sides #Sander's sides #tomas sanders #anxiety sanders #creativity sanders #Sander's sides fanfiction #what else should I tag?

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duhragonball · 4 years

Note

Yamcha if you're still doing the character meme?

I am still doing these, and I’m enjoying it, so keep ‘em coming. Before I start, let me promote the original post, in case anyone else wants to start their own thing. I’d link to the OP, but I guess they deleted this from their blog, probably because their notifications went nuts.

Give me a character and I will answer:

Why I like them: Let’s be honest, Yamcha doesn’t get a lot of big “hero moments” in Dragon Ball. Or Dragon Ball Z, or Dragon Ball GT, or Dragon Ball Su-- Look, you get the idea. In most arcs, he’s the first one to get benched. In tournaments, he always loses in the first round. He spent the King Piccolo Saga recovering from a broken leg. Against the Saiyans, he was the first one to die. Against the Androids, he was nearly killed and had to sit out the rest of that arc. In the Buu Sagas he was retired. In a number of major storylines, he just isn’t there, because no one called him.

But he remains a fixture in the franchise anyway, because he’s always showing up for more. Let’s take the Buu Saga as an example. It didn’t surprise me to find out he had retired, mainly from a dramatic standpoint. There’s a lot of new characters in the Buu arc, and it made sense for some of the older characters to step aside and make room for them. But he’s still there, because he wants to see Goku one last time, and he wants to hang out with his friends and watch some of them kick the crap out of each other. It was kind of sad to see him stay behind while the others rushed off to follow the Supreme Kai, but he’s retired, after all. Also, they didn’t stop to fill him in on what was happening. I suspect he might have tagged along if they asked.

As it was, he still ended up getting involved, and he was with the Dragon Team right up until Super Buu cornered them on the Lookout. And the next time we see him, he’s on the Grand Kai Planet with Krillin, and King Kai seriously considers sending them in to take on Buu in case Goku and Vegeta can’t get the job done.

And that’s a big deal, because it even comes up in the anime. King Kai tells them that he arranged for them to keep their bodies as a precaution, but he’s totally in favor of letting them remain on the Grand Kai Planet with all of the other honored warriors, like Goku. So you start with this desert bandit, a highwayman without a highway, probably because he’s afraid of all the women that use the interstate. But he gradually overcomes his fears and insecurities, never completely, but just enough to put one foot in front of the other and become a better man. And finally he ends up receiving a place among the great heroes of old.

So why doesn’t that get more attention? You could make a whole epic story out of that, except it’s not Yamcha’s story. He’s a supporting character. So the franchise itself tends to play it down. Even Yamcha doesn’t really take it all that seriously. I don’t know if that’s modesty or cluelessness or Big Himbo Energy or what, but that’s why it’s so easy for everyone to write him off as a loser or a failure. They’re overlooking the bigger picture.

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The best way to illustrate this is with this TFS short that serves as an epilogue to their DBZ Abridged series. Yamcha goes back to playing baseball for the Taitans, only to get fired, because he’s so talented that he’s literally broken the game, and no one buys tickets anymore. But he gets a gigantic severance package, and he still goes down in history as the greatest ballplayer in history. What always gets to me is that they have to explain to him that this is actually a win. As his coach puts it, “you do nothing but win.”

Like Yamcha himself, we often see him from the lens of these insane Dragon Ball adventures, where you have to have glowy hair and a hot cyborg wife to be considered a success. But to the rest of the world, he’s a jacked up millionaire with fantastic hair, and he’s a real sweetheart. Who couldn’t like this dude?

Why I don’t: As you may have noticed, I tend to only use this section to talk about why I disliked the characters initially. I have to think back to 1999 when I was still having trouble keeping track of who’s who. In particular, I found Yamcha’s presence frustrating because he looked and dressed almost exactly like Goku, but not quite, which seemed bizarre. Later, I picked up on the context, and it didn’t bother me as much.

Yamcha does have a bit of an overconfident streak in some situations, which might look like unfounded arrogance, but I think it’s really just his carefree nature and enthusiastic can-do spirit. He was confident about their chances against the Saiyans, but I don’t think that was him being cocky. He just knew they had all trained hard and he was stronger than he’d ever been. But that’s easy for people to jump on as a reason to hate the guy.

Future Trunks claimed that he fooled around while he was involved with Bulma, but come on. Does anyone really buy that? Besides, at best, that would only apply to Future Yamcha, the one who died in the other timeline. Once Trunks changed the past, all bets were off.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): I’m gonna get a little nuts here and go with TFS’s playthrough of Legacy of Goku I, where they decided to level up Yamcha and have him solo Broly.

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Basically, in an RPG game like this, Wolf Fang Fist can do monster damage, so they maxed out Yamcha’s stats to wreck the game’s hidden superboss. You have to skip to 1:40:00 or so to see the successful attempt, but I loved this video. This is where I learned to respect the utterance of “Roga... fufuken!” Broly probably would have respected it, too, except he died from all those hits he took.

Favorite season/movie: You know, that fight with Tien was a classic. Not sure it’s in my top ten, but it’s on a lot of people’s lists, and I absolutely get that.

Dumb as it may sound, I enjoyed seeing Yamcha in the hospital, wrestling with his own despair as he recuperated from his broken leg. And when he shows up at the end to congratulate Tien and accepts Tien’s apology, well, like I said, Yamcha has this great character arc, but it’s easy to overlook with everything else that goes on.

Favorite line: I forget which game it was in, maybe Budokai 3, but one of his pre-fight taunts is “Watch this, Puar! I’m gonna win!”, which always makes me think of Puar sitting just off-camera, watching the action from a little lawn chair.

Favorite outfit:

I may take some heat for this, but I like the Androids/Cell Saga version of Yamcha, with the short, spiky hair. This dude’s long, luxurious rockstar ‘do is a national treasure, sure, but I dig this look more.

Also, I consider Yamcha to be the only guy from the Turtle School who pulls off the slippers and no-blue-undershirt look. It looks off when I see it on Krillin and Goku, but with Yamcha it just feels right.

OTP: This guy gets shipped with a lot of people, probably because he’s one of the major characters without an established love interest. Folks still carry a torch for Bulma, some people ship him with Tien, Frieza hit on him in FighterZ, and I’m still trying to make sense of that. He flirts with your character in the Xenoverse games. Years ago, I considered doing something with that, but I’ve fleshed out my OC enough to where I don’t think that fits.

At the end of the day, I can only see Yamcha getting together with @cozymochi ‘s OC, Marzi.

Brotp: Tien, Krillin, Goku. Hell, I always figured Yamcha was one of the few people Vegeta could get along with to some extent.

I mean, Tien couldn’t stand to be one the same planet as Vegeta, but Yamcha keeps coming over to have hot dogs at Bulma’s place, long after the Namekians have left.

Head Canon: He’s Luffa’s type, don’t get me wrong. I just don’t see any room in my fic for a whirlwind courtship. The stars just don’t align.

Unpopular opinion: I’m not really behind this notion that they should give the humans more stuff to do in future series. When it comes to supporting characters, sometimes they get phased out, and there’s no point in phasing them back in unless there’s a compelling story idea for them.

I think it’s dumb how they teased Yamcha in the Tournament of Power prelude, only to leave him out of the tournament itself. On the other hand, they put Tien on the team and barely used him, which tells me that even if they’d put Yamcha on the team, it wouldn’t have amounted to anything.

I get it, people love these characters and want to see them used more, but I’d rather have one strong Yamcha story than a hundred non-starters. And at this point, I think the only thing anyone can do is rely on fan-created content. Be the change you want to see in the world.

A wish: Crap, it’s after ten pm. I dunno, I wish Marzi was canon.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I feel like the character’s already been through worse than I could come up with for him.

5 words to best describe them: Cat loves food, yeah yeah yeah. That’s six, but who cares?

My nickname for them: Yeah, I don’t have one.

#ask duhragonball #dragon ball #yamcha #yamucha #Anonymous

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ceealaina · 4 years

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Title: Gonna Pick You Up When You Fall Collaborator Name: ceealaina Link: AO3 Ship: IronBros Rating: Teen Major Tags: Fluff and Angst, MIT Era, Meet-Ugly Summary: Jim Rhodes isn’t sure how he feels about having the Stark heir for his roommate, right up until he meets Tony and finds he’s the very last thing he expected. Word Count: 3643

Written for the prompts Engineer, Yearning, and ‘Stop that’ for @rhodeyappreciationweek

When Jim had gotten the letter informing him that he’d been assigned as a roommate to Anthony Fucking Stark, he had almost called up the residence office and informed them that it wasn’t going to happen, and he wanted to be reassigned to literally anybody else. He’d worked his ass off to get into MIT and the last thing he wanted was to be saddled with some rich, white child -- he was only fifteen, for fuck’s sake -- who had been pretty much guaranteed a spot anywhere from birth, just because of who his father was.

He had actually been on hold with Mia in the Reassignment department when his mother had walked into the room, glanced at the phone he was holding in one hand and the letter he had in the other, and had hummed in that way she had.

“What?” Jim asked, eyes narrowing suspiciously.

“Nothing,” she assured him, with a pointed look at the paper in his hands. “I just feel bad for that boy, is all.”

“Bad?” Jim repeated incredulously. “Momma, he’s one of the richest kids in America. He’s had everything he’s ever wanted.”

“Still. Can’t be easy to grow up with that kind of pressure, all those expectations.” She had leaned in, kissing him on the cheek. “I’m so proud of you, Jimmy, but you know I’d be proud of you no matter what you did, right?”

Jim had hung up the phone.

There was no sign of Stark or his family or even any hired help the entire time that Jim and his family were moving his stuff into the dorm. He’d half expected Anthony to already be there, some sort of Early Move-In Day just for rich people. But since he wasn’t there, Jim refused to feel guilty for taking the good bed beside the bigger window. Maybe Anthony had changed his mind and decided to go to CalTech instead, and Jim could have the whole room to himself.

After getting all his stuff moved in, he had to see his family off. Then there was ‘mandatory’ Frosh Teambuilding, which consisted of a bunch of juvenile trust activities that felt more like the kind of stuff white people did at summer camp on TV. And then there was dinner, and then a ‘mandatory’ floor meeting going over all the rules of living on campus, after which he’d wandered over to the student union building and almost immediately gotten pulled into a truly painful conversation with one of the guys from his assigned frosh group.

By the time he was making his way back to the dorm, he was exhausted and had all but forgotten about his MIA roommate. Distracted with thinking about his bed, and the things he had to get done before classes started, it took him a minute to process what he was seeing when he stepped into his room and found the previously unoccupied side of the room fully decorated, complete with a large television and an NES. He blinked a minute, and then spotted Anthony Stark himself, sitting on the window sill over Jim’s bed, thank you very much, leaning out the window to smoke a cigarette. He was wearing tight jeans and a polo shirt, the collar popped, with a pair of expensive sunglasses dangling from the neck, and Jim shook his head.

“Oh no,” he declared.

He hadn’t actually meant to say that outloud, but Anthony didn’t seem offended. He looked lazily over at Jim, lips curling into a smirk around his cigarette as he gave Jim a slow look up and down.

“Hey there, handsome.”

“Oh, hell no,” Jim reiterated. “I’m gonna tell you right now. This? Isn’t how things are gonna go with us.”

Anthony blinked at him, looking mildly taken aback. “I’m sorry?”

“This.” Jim gestured wildly at him. “This whole… Too cool for school bullshit persona thing you’ve got going on? I’m not doing it.”

“Excuse me?” Anthony looked faintly amused which, Jim realized belatedly, was probably good since he likely had enough clout to get Jim kicked out of MIT entirely. “It’s not bullshit,” he added, with a dramatic pout around his cigarette that was entirely too sexy to be on a fifteen-year-old’s lips.

Jim rolled his eyes. “Right, so you’re just actually that fucking cool, huh?” he asked, voice dry. “Whatever you say man.”

Anthony tilted his head a little, eyes narrowing as he looked more closely at Jim. Jim had the uncanny feeling that Anthony was looking right into him, but he just set his hands on his lips, staring impassively back at him.

“Do you know who I am?” he asked finally.

It wasn’t said with an attitude; Anthony sounded genuinely curious, like he thought Jim might have somehow missed that fact somewhere along the way. Jim rolled his eyes anyway.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re Anthony Stark, boy genius, richest kid in America or whatever. I don’t really give a shit, man. I’m just here to get my engineering degree, and move on. I already did this bullshit in high school. I don’t need to go through it again.”

“Huh.” Tony took another slow drag of his cigarette, pursing his lips and dragging it out. It would have been embarrassing, how hard he was trying to look sexy, except he didn’t have that awkward edge most kids his age did. It seemed almost natural, giving him the uncanny appearance of being older than fifteen, even if his features said otherwise, and Jim shifted a little uncomfortably. “It’s Tony, actually,” he said finally, tilting his head back to blow smoke out the window. “And you’re James Rhodes?”

“Jim,” he corrected, grudgingly. Tony nodded, giving him a smoldering look and flicking his tongue over his lips, and Jim glared. “Stop that!” he squawked. “You’re fifteen, it’s fucking creepy. And put that out, while you’re at it. Smoking’ll kill you, and I don’t want your nasty ass smoke on my sheets.”

Tony stared at him and then shrugged, pressing the cigarette against the sill and then flicking the butt out the window. He didn’t bother to shut it before he hopped down off the ledge. “Well, Rhodey,” he drawled the nickname, smirking at Jim with smokey eyes. “Gotta say, I didn’t expect you to be so lame.”

Jim didn’t rise to the bait. “I’m not lame,” he told him, grabbing his toiletries kit to get ready for bed. “Told you, man. I’m just not here for the bullshit.”

When he came back from the bathroom, Tony had stripped down to his boxers, was spread across his bed like some kind of Playgirl model. Jim ignored him, flipping out the light and crawling into his own bed with a contented sigh. He was already starting to drift when Tony spoke into the dark space.

“I’m taking engineering too.”

“Yeah? We’re at MIT, dude. You, me, and half the campus.”

Tony huffed out a sigh. “Electrical engineering, since you asked.”

Jim hummed a vague acknowledgement and hesitated a moment. “Aviation,” he relented through a yawn. “Gonna be a pilot.”

If Tony answered, Jim was asleep before he heard it.

Tony, it seemed, didn’t know what to do with Jim. He didn’t let up on flirting, constantly trying to be sexy, but it quickly seemed to be less with intent and more just to irritate Jim. After the first day of classes, while Jim was getting a start on the five billion readings he had to do, Tony had wandered in from his own classes and immediately started taking apart his NES -- it seemed this was a common thread with Tony. He’d already taken apart and put back together his television and his VCR. It wouldn’t have been so bad, except that he couldn’t seem to stop rambling while he did it, name dropping about fifty famous people he knew, ranging from politicians to celebrities. Jim had just grunted occasionally, doing his best to tune him out, until he yelped when a pencil hit the back of his head. He turned to see Tony smiling beguilingly.

“Hey, did you hear me? That’s Sean Connery. You know, James Bond?” he asked, like Jim lived under a rock or something.

“I heard,” Jim said and then, because the pencil had hurt and he was feeling a little mean. “Doesn’t he advocate for hitting women?”

Tony just looked confused, like he couldn’t understand Jim’s lack of reaction, and he sighed.

“Look man, that’s cool and all, and I love James Bond as much as the next guy, but at the end of the day they’re just people. Unless you’re planning to set me up with Phoebe Cates, my homework is a bigger priority right now.”

So Tony had started leaving expensive things around the dorm room. There were more sunglasses, and platinum cufflinks, and bottles of high quality liquor that Jim had immediately made him shove under the bed because they were both technically underage now. Tony had just looked more and more confused the less interested Jim seemed, and then had come home the next day with an Atari 7800, which wasn’t even supposed to be released until the next year.

That, Jim had to admit, was pretty cool, especially since Tony immediately offered him a controller. And that was what he couldn’t figure out about Tony Stark. He didn’t hesitate to share everything he had. He’d offered up his tv and gaming systems almost right away, was constantly bringing home snacks and junk food and giving half of them to Jim, and when Jim had been running late one day and couldn’t find his own, he hasn’t hesitated to offer up a pair of his ultra expensive Ray Bans, telling Jim not to worry about returning them. He was a twerp, but he was also unfailingly generous, and Jim wasn’t entirely sure what to do with that.

So when he came home to find Tony reading some scifi novel at his desk just a little too casually, and a Rolex watch ‘accidentally’ sitting in the middle of Jim’s bed, he just sighed and dropped it on Tony’s book.

“Oh thanks!” Tony said brightly. “I was looking for that.”

Jim refrained from pointing out that it was the first thing he saw when he walked into the room.

“Hey!” Tony added when he started to turn back to the work waiting for him. “Did I tell you about my Ferrari 288 GTO?”

Jim hesitated long enough to arch an eyebrow at him. “Are you even old enough to drive?” he asked, heading over to his desk.

For a moment it was quiet, and then: “Okay, I give up,” Tony burst out, causing Jim to turn back around to face him with a startled look. “I can’t figure you out. Is it me specifically, or are you just allergic to fun? Seriously dude, does nothing impress you?”

Jim gave him a look. “Have you been trying to impress me?”

“Not like that.” Tony rolled his eyes, ignoring the fact that he’d spent the better part of their interactions flirting outrageously. “Just, you know… That’s how you connect with people, right? Show off your shit and compare notes, and decide what’s better…” He trailed off at the look on Jim’s face. “What?”

“Rich people are fucking weird, man.”

Tony frowned at him. “What does that mean?”

“Just… Sounds exhausting, constantly trying to outdo each other.”

Tony was still frowning, and Jim felt a little bit bad.

“Hey, you know what I’d actually find impressive? Seeing if you’re actually here for any reason besides your name. We’re a week into school and I haven’t seen you do one bit of work.”

Tony’s jaw dropped. “Because I’m a genius!” he protested, and he didn’t sound like he was bragging, just stating a simple fact. “I built a circuit board when I was three!” he added, but there was a sparkle in his eyes now.

“I don’t know…” Jim smirked at him. “That was like twelve years ago, man. What have you done since?”

Tony narrowed his eyes briefly and then he was skittering over to his desk. “I’ll show you I deserve to be here,” he grumbled, pulling the bottom drawer out entirely, and apparently he wasn’t as entirely obsessed with looking cool as Jim had first thought, because the entire drawer was filled to the brim with Lego bricks. “Okay,” he said, grinning up at Jim. It was a good look on him. “We’ve got fifteen minutes to build a Lego machine. Best design wins.”

Jim wandered through the party, wincing against the glare of the strobe light. Despite what Tony seemed to think, he wasn’t actually that lame, and he did enjoy a good party. This, however, wasn’t really his scene. The house was packed dangerously full, men and women alike mostly naked -- he’d touched more random body parts than he ever had before in his life -- and in general everything just had that edge of too wild that usually meant the police were five minutes out. He’d been supposed to meet up with a guy from one of his classes, but he hadn’t seen any sign of him and he was done with looking.

Jim started to make his way for the front door, and then stopped as he spotted a tuft of curly brown hair that was already becoming familiar. “Oh no,” he muttered, letting his eyes fall shut for just a moment.

He thought about leaving Tony there, he really did. He was his roommate, not his responsibility. But then a voice that sounded suspiciously like his mother reminded him that Tony was only fifteen, still a kid. And then he thought about how desperately Tony had been trying to win him over all week with stuff and money, because that was apparently how he thought things were done, and how easy it would be for someone to take advantage of that. When he found himself picturing the pleased smile Tony’d had when he finished his rubber band Lego car, almost startlingly innocent compared to the way he’d been acting, Jim knew he was stuck.

Grumbling under his breath, he started shoveling his way through the crowd to where he’d last seen his wayward roommate. Of course by then he’d wandered off again, and it was a good ten minutes before Jim managed to track him down to some little room that he’d missed at first.

Tony was sprawled out on a couch, his dress shirt fully unbuttoned, and he was giggling as two girls in bikinis kissed their way over his neck. His movements were lazy and his eyes unfocused in a way that suggested that he’d had more than just booze, but his face lit up when he spotted Jim. “Hey!” he slurred. “‘S my Rhodeybear.”

Jim blinked once at the nickname. “Right.” The two girls looked as out of it as Tony was, but there was a guy watching the whole scene with sharp, sober eyes that Jim didn’t like at all. Mustering up every bit of his ROTC confidence, he strode over to the couch and bodily pulled Tony to his feet. “Come on, Tones. Time to go home.”

“Awww,” Tony whined, but he didn’t actually make any attempt to resist. “Five more minutes?”

“Nope,” Jim declared, just as one of the girls reached up and caught Tony’s hand, giving him a half-hearted tug back toward the couch.

“Yeah, jus’ five more minutes? We’re jus’ gettin’ started.”

“And he’s fifteen, so that’s illegal.”

“Rhodeyyyy,” Tony whined, finishing his name with a giggle. “Why you gotta give away all my secrets? C’mon le’s stay. They’re my friends. Didn’t even hafta do anything to impress ‘em, like you said.”

“Yeah.” Jim glanced back over to the corner, where the guy’s smirk had turned to glare. Jim was pretty sure that there was a video camera on the floor beside his feet. “They’re not your friends, Tony.” Heart starting to pound, he slung an arm around Tony’s waist and hustled him out the door before anyone could make a real attempt at stopping them.

Outside, Tony was in even worse condition than Jim had realized. He didn’t think he was in any danger healthwise, except maybe from puking, but he could barely stand on his own, needed Jim’s constant support to walk, and he was frighteningly pliable, happily going along with whatever Jim said. Jim had expected to be annoyed with Tony, at having to babysit him. Fifteen or not, surely he knew better? But mostly he was just pissed at the asshole who had tried to take advantage of him like this. He was just a kid, and clearly oblivious, and using his inability to understand how normal, non-rich humans interacted to try and hurt him had Jim seething. The more he thought about it the angrier he got, and if he hadn’t been busy with having to half-drag Tony back to their dorm, he might have gone back just to punch the guy in the face.

He managed to get them into their room without getting caught by anyone, at which point he’d helped Tony strip down to his boxers -- less awkward than he’d expected -- and slide into the bed. Tony had moaned blearily, rubbing his face against the cool sheets like he was feverish, so after dragging his garbage can close in case he did puke, Jim grabbed a washcloth and darted into the bathroom to rinse it with cold water.

When he got back, Tony was lying on his back and staring at the ceiling, lolling his head back and forth over the pillow in a way that Jim had vague memories of his baby sister doing as a toddler. He passed over the washcloth and Tony closed one eye and then the other, trying to focus on it.

“Wassat for?”

“It’s a cool compress. For your head?”

Tony was staring at him blankly, so Jim folded up the cloth and draped it over Tony’s forehead. “Jesus, Tones. Hasn’t anybody ever taken care of you before?”

Tony shrugged, sighing at the cool touch against his sweaty skin. “Only when they want something from me,” he mumbled, out of it enough that there was no joking, no exaggeration in his voice, just plain, simple honesty. “Oh hey!” His eyes snapped open, just as unfocused as before. “Did I tell you my thesis project yet? Gonna build a robot, one with a fully-functioning, self-learning AI.” He waved his hand in the air. “Thas not the point though. Gonna build myself a friend, Rhodey, like you said. One that doesn’t want anything from me, or expect me to buy them things… Just wansta hang out with me…” His eyes slipped shut again, voice trailing off, but Jim just stared at him with a sick feeling furling through his stomach.

“Shit, that’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard,” he said. “Seriously, are those the only kinds of interactions you’ve had with people? You need real friends, Tony.”

“I have real friends,” Tony protested. “Had lots of friends in school.”

“Uh-huh.” He knew there was no point in arguing, but the sound of his voice seemed to be calming Tony a little, stilling his movements. “So which one of those real friends do you call when you’re in a jam? Who do you know that’s got your back no matter what?”

Tony was quiet for long enough that Jim thought he’d finally fallen asleep. He adjusted the cloth to be a little more comfortable on his forehead and was moving over to his own bed when Tony finally spoke.

“I called you.”

Jim glanced back over at him. Tony’s eyes were closed, but there was a little smile around his lips, like he’d come to some scientific conclusion and was really pleased with the results. Jim sighed.

“Yeah, Tones, you did,” he agreed with his own smile. “Get some sleep, okay? I’ll be right here if you need anything.”

When Jim woke the next morning, Tony was sprawled out on his bed, sheets kicked onto the floor and an arm flung across his eyes. He looked absolutely miserable, but he was breathing at least, so Jim left him to sleep it off, being as quiet as possible when he slipped out to the door so he wouldn’t disturb him.

When he made it back a couple hours later, Tony was awake, though he didn’t look much better. He’d hauled on sweatpants and a t-shirt but obviously hadn’t showered, and he was sitting up on his bed, blinking blearily at the TV as he watched what looked like Indiana Jones on VHS. Hiding a smile at the sight of him, Jim made his way into the room, dropping a wrapped breakfast sandwich on Tony’s lap on his way by.

Tony blinked at it for a too-long moment, looking completely confused. “What’s this?” he asked finally.

Resisting the urge to tease him about his supposed genius, Jim just arched an eyebrow. “It’s a breakfast sandwich. Thought you could use something to eat.”

“You…” Tony’s breath seemed to catch. “You bought me breakfast?”

Jim just shrugged, even though he knew it was a bigger deal than just breakfast.

“Nobody’s ever…” Tony stopped, cutting the thought off, and then smiled at Jim. “Thanks,” he told him, unwrapping it and taking a huge bite with a smile around his lips.

They settled into an easy quiet for a few minutes, and then Tony cleared his throat.

“Hey,” he said, and when Jim looked up, the smile that was around his face was softer and more shy, that overconfident attitude that he used like an armor chipping away. “I know you’ve got reading to do, but… You wanna watch Star Wars with me?”

Jim grinned at him. “Fuck yeah,” he declared, abandoning his books to climb up on the bed beside Tony. “Budge up, man.”

#rhodeyweek2020 #ironbros #james rhodes #tony stark #meet ugly #mit era #protective rhodey #fic #my fic

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oh-my-god-maurice-the-ladybug · 5 years

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GUys

So I wrote this fan theory in class a couple days ago, for MHA.

It’s a ligit (?) essay, and also my first one. As it is my first, I might not have worded or phrased or sentenced it correctly, so if it doesn’t make sense I apalogise.

Also, it’s just a theory, so please don’t claim it’s cannon unless it’s a headcannon or something

Tagging @imasleepdeprivedtransboy because yeah. If you want to be tagged in the future (?) for things like this please ask, I won’t know unless you do.

(pssst, it’s under the blue line)

In the universe of MHA, quirks are theorized to have been caused by a virus caused by mice, causing some sort of reaction within human DNA to cause a mutation, leading to superpower-like abilities. This, while an entirely fictional event for a fictional universe, is strikingly similar to the 1350 even known as the Black Plague, which was spread by ship rats, who carried fleas that held the deadly virus, which could have likely caused a similar event earlier in the MHA timeline. While this is a completely pointless and unproductive endeavor, in this essay I will prove to you that the event that kickstarted quirks was not the first of its kind in the MHA universe.

First, we must establish the timeline of events that I am working off of to establish my theory, the timeline starting in 1348, at the start of the Black Plague’s outbreak. The Plague is known to have spread along trade routes from China, ending up in southern England, reaching northern England in 1350. During the rapid spread of this plague, 4 million people died. The plague also resurfaced again, the dates being 1361 through 1363, 1369 (nice) through 1371, 1374 through 1375, 1390, and 1400. This gives enough time for a gene to develop, or perhaps resurface, which could contribute to superhuman powers. However, in 1450, we have the start of the “witch hunts” (which lasted through 1750 with quite a bit of buildup before this), caused by a number of factors, including poverty, a lack of education, social crisis of the time, and various epidemics. During this time, around 40,000-50,000 people died, although the actual number was probably never documented. Many gruesome practices emerged during these witch hunts, including, but not at all limited too, Sleep Deprivation, Water Torture, Pricking and Scratching, and Pressing. There were also people who profited off the witch hunts, doing things like charging for exorcisms and selling the body parts of the deceased (gross, I know). Then we go on, with a couple more outbreaks of the plague documented in various places, spanning until the start of the series, of which the exact date is not disclosed.

Now, it’s known that humans do have the ability to mutate, and there are two major types of mutations, Hereditary, or mutations that are received from the parent and are present throughout the entirety of a person’s life and body, and Acquired, or mutations that appear some time during a person’s lifetime and are only present in certain cells of the body. Although there will be some focus on Acquired mutations, we will mostly be focusing on Hereditary, as it is more relevant to my point here today. Hereditary mutations, also known as germline mutations, are created when a mutation occurs while both the parent’s DNA are mixing, causing a mutation in the unborn child, which remains present in each of their cells. Examples of this include hemochromatosis, a hereditary disorder in which iron salts are deposited in the tissues, leading to liver damage, severe diabetes, and bronze discoloration of the skin, and cystic fibrosis, a disease caused by viscous mucus clogging up pancreatic ducts and bronchi. While these may not seem like really great examples of this type of mutation, please remember that these are only two examples and that they were at the top of my google search page, so there could be good ones out there if I had bothered to do ten more minutes of research.

So, if we take this into consideration, a Hereditary gene mutation that passes down from parent to child doesn’t seem that far off, because it’s already a reality for those of us who live in the real, actual world. Since MHA is very science fictional with how it goes about it’s hero-ing and plot in general, I am going to safely assume right here and now that it would be very, very easy to apply this real, actual layer of fact to an otherwise fictional universe.

Anyway, the rest of this theory will revolve on the idea that quirks are a type of hereditary mutation, which matches up with the in-text context clues given, being that quirks apparently are passed down in a family, that quirks are different from person to person (like genes, with a few exceptions), and that they seem to mix under certain circumstances. They can act like Acquired genes, for sure, but they still count as hereditary because, even if they pop up later in life, they are still inherited by the parents as dormant genes.

So, going back to the Black Plague, we can see the parallels between it and the unnamed illness that is credited with kickstarting quirks in MHA. First off, the two were both spread by a member of the Rodentia order, as both mice and rats are classified in this category, and, although we don’t know what the illness was or how it spread, we can probably assume the order in MHA started out with fleas or ticks and was spread by some form of bite, as we see in the Plague, which was spread by the fleas on the infected rats. They also, even though this is a stretch, probably killed a lot of people, and in the case of the Black Plague actually killed a lot of people, because no one would really notice a “plague” or “new illness” or even try and research it unless there was some danger involved. (Even if the danger is somewhat small-- See: Coronavirus.)

Now, believe that, in the MHA universe at least, that, while very rare and probably not well understood, that there is a possibility of developing a quirk later in life. I say this because I believe Midoriya said something about “suddenly mutating a quirk” to his mother at some point, although I couldn’t find it on the wiki so I could be wrong about that. Even so, it would be impossible to deny the lack of suspicion placed on Midoriya at the beginning (except by Bakugou, but that was more of a “that bastard lied to me” sort of reaction), and even when he does get suspicion placed on him, it’s not because he was quirkless, but because his quirk is very similar to All Might’s. It’s not even touched on by any higher ups, even in the hero coalition (I believe that’s what they’re called), so there has to be some probability of this happening for this to be ignored throughout the series, especially once Midoriya starts doing things that could potentially cause people to look at him with more scrutiny.

Using this information, it can be very easily understood that there is some sort of gene that controls if you get a quirk or not, separate from the actual quirk gene, which could potentially be activated under extreme circumstances and/or stress.

Now, having established all the background information, we can safely say that, while probably not as pronounced as a fucking glowing baby would be, the stress of the plague could have probably caused some babies and adults to have an active “quirk gene”, causing them to have what, at the time, would have been called magical abilities. People wouldn’t have really noticed or cared at first, because things like necromancy and paganism had been around for centuries at this point and had been integrated into the culture. It was the norm, after all, before people started going ham with cristianity, because a lot of Europe had been at least partially touched by Rome at some point, and even before that there were still paganistic beliefs dating back very, very far into human history. People would not really have cared back when there were, you know, bigger problems to attend to. Like illness, and death, and other things like that.

Over time, however, just as those with power grew alongside those without, the church got more involved, it got more controlling, and thus just a little, just a smidge, just a teensy bit biased towards those members of the population that had powers. They were never directly the cause of anything, but they sure as hell influenced it. Religion has always been a big player in culture, and culture a big part of religion, after all, this goes back far, far into the past, especially around the 1400s, where clergymen, nobility, and the children of the rich were the mostly only ones getting an education. There were even laws banning serfs from getting an education in some places. Once the witch hysteria took hold, and publications such as the Summis Desiderantes Affectibus (1484) and the Malleus Maleficarum (1487) were circulated around, it was basically inevitable that those who had developed powers over the past 4 and a half generations (about as many generations as the amount that had passed in MHA, if you remember, although the population of “quirk-having” people wouldn’t be nearly as big due to lots of factors such as child and infant mortality, illness, lack of food, the amount of people dying young before they had any kids, and medical practices at the time, and also because I see most of the people who had “quirks” as being among the lower class at the time) would be the first ones to take the hit. They were, after all, different from the “normal”, non-power-having humans, so, in the minds of a medieval person, they were obviously up to some shady shit and were in cahoots with the devil, which was seen as a bad and terrible thing at the time, a common thing to be accused of.

This decimated the population of empowered people, due to the 300 years of continuous hunting by people who just didn’t understand what was going on. Most of the people who would have otherwise not done any harm were hung, burned, and drowned, and those few families who did survive must have hid what they were, mostly out of fear for what would happen if the authorities found out. Hell, even people who were “quirkless” could have been wrongfully accused, but no one would have seen the difference. Genetics wasn’t a thing back then, so it really wouldn’t have mattered to anyone at the time, not that they would have checked people even if it did.

Afterward, those families would have passed down fear throughout the generations, from parent to child, even as witch hunts faded into history. It’s part of their history, the reason they don’t share their power with anyone, the reason they hide. After all, fear is one of the best motivators, anyone could tell you that. Some families do inevitably die out over time, that fact is inevitable, but there will be some that persevere, through normal, healthy means or otherwise. Even when “quirks” finally surface as the MHA characters know it in universe, they are still so scared to come out, so scared to admit what they are due to both the immediate fallout of such a thing coming out and what they were most likely told all their lives. Even years later this fear is felt, because it would still be fresh 4 generations later, that’s not that long a time when you’re comparing to the time they would have spent in hiding.

It just makes sense, and all the reasoning provided above gives reasons as to why this wouldn’t have been stated in cannon. If your family has lived in and passed down fear over the generations, probably getting worse as the years went by if it was straight word-of-mouth, you would be less likely to share what they were afraid of with the world, even years after others had come out with the very thing your family was afraid of. It’s not like all that fear, built up over years and years, would evaporate instantaneously.

Even so, we can take this idea a bit further. We know that there were plagues before this (not really even all the Black Plague in particular). Going back farther, to my good old fallback Ancient Greece, we see that there was a plague in Athens at around 429-426 BC, and that’s just one example of the probable thousands of illnesses that were most likely running around at that period of history. And you know what else those Ancient Greeks had? Demigods. Oracles. Demigods who were stronger than everyone else, Demigods who had cool and unique abilities, Demigods who were nearly impervious, Oracles and people who divinated one’s future. Move forward a bit to the Romans, and what did they have? Stories of people with very proto-quirk-esque powers, doing very, very superhuman feats, much like we see in MHA. These, however are just two examples of the thousands of stories of humans with superhuman abilities, used throughout history. Hell, even supernatural entities could be explained within the

MHA universe by using this “proto-quirk” theory, because it’s stated in cannon that sometimes quirks can affect you physically. I have no way to prove this part though.

Anyways, this is just a theory (an ANIME theory) so please don’t take it too seriously, and thanks for coming to my TEDTalk. If you have any questions, ask them, I guess. Remember to Like and Subscribe, and to Ring That Bell for notifications.

Peace out.

Sources (In No Particular Order):

https://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/primer/mutationsanddisorders/genemutation

https://www.google.com/search?q=how+many+died+in+England+between+1348+and+1350&safe=active&ssui=on

https://www.britannica.com/event/Black-Death

http://www.theoccultmuseum.com/fire-5-real-torture-methods-tell-witch/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_executed_for_witchcraft

https://bokunoheroacademia.fandom.com/wiki/Quirk

https://www.medicinenet.com/genetic_disease/article.htm

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/hemochromatosis?s=t

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/cystic-fibrosis#

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rodent

https://bokunoheroacademia.fandom.com/wiki/Izuku_Midoriya/Synopsis

https://study.com/academy/lesson/how-religion-contributes-to-cultural-change.html

https://spartacus-educational.com/YALDeducation.htm

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Summis_desiderantes_affectibus

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malleus_Maleficarum

https://www.bl.uk/the-middle-ages/articles/medicine-diagnosis-and-treatment-in-the-middle-ages

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medieval_medicine_of_Western_Europe

https://www.metmuseum.org/toah/hd/medm/hd_medm.htm

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/323533

https://www.thoughtco.com/medieval-child-surviving-infancy-1789124

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_epidemics

#fan theory #tedtalk?#idk #mha #mha fan theory #stuff i wrote in class #yeet #uwu #1 tagged #learn? nope

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keelywolfe · 6 years

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FIC: Two Degrees of Jeff, part 1

or more properly: Two Degrees of Andy Jeff

Summary: Two days in the life of Andy...er....Jeff, and his skeleton friends.

Notes: I’ve always liked an outside perspective on my favorite boys and Jeff’s is fun to write. Warning for mentions of depression.

Also on AO3

By Any Other Name masterlist, recently updated!

~~*~~

The Beanery was, by far, not the closest coffee shop to Jeff’s apartment. By his reckoning, the bus took him past two Starbucks on the way here. He didn’t mind going out of his way to meet Stretch, though; thanks to the ‘Monster Friendly’ symbol stickered on the window glass up front, they could pretty much guarantee being able to meet in peace for a coffee and a chat.

Not that they’d had any issues past the whole ‘bus incident’ but eh, why take a chance? Plus, they had great coffee.

On this particular morning, Jeff got there early so he could buy his own coffee before Stretch could do it for him. Passive-aggressive, maybe, but hey it worked. He wasn't quite at the same level with the baristas as Stretch was, but she gave him a smile of recognition before taking his order.

Twenty minutes later his coffee was gone, and he was still waiting. The buses in Ebott were pretty dependable and to be honest, so was Stretch. He loved texting, Jeff couldn’t imagine he wouldn’t send one or several if he was running late, probably laced with bad jokes and puns.

He gave it ten more minutes before sending one of his own. hey, you running behind? Not to get on your ass, I know you don’t actually have one

At the very least, that should have gotten him an lol, and more likely a bombardment of terrible jokes. But his phone remained stubbornly quiet.

Jeff chewed his lip, considering. He could text Edge, let him know he was a little worried. The problem with Edge was he didn’t do anything by halves and would probably be on his way home or send out the hounds or something. They were meeting for coffee, not planning world domination, there was no reason to hit worst case scenario right out of the gate.

Option two was to take a ride over there himself. It was only about a fifteen-minute ride and another bus would be here in five. If Stretch didn’t get off the bus, then Jeff was getting on it, he decided. He gathered up his stuff, tossed his cup in the trash and gave the barista a wave before he went out to the stop.

A few monsters got off the bus, one of them he recognized from the wedding and they gave him a toothy grin as they walked past. No skeleton monster though, so Jeff scanned his bus pass and took a seat. With his luck, Stretch was on the next one and they’d be like ships passing in the night, but eh, he’d rather risk acting like a bad romantic comedy than just sit there waiting.

No text came, no sign that Stretch was only running late. At the gate to New New Home, the guards checked his ID diligently even though Jeff was here a few times a week, and Jeff thought he might mention that to Antwan, let him know they were doing their jobs right. It was probably boring hanging out at the guard station all day, they could use some recognition.

The shuttle dropped him off and the brief walk to the house offered no answers. Edge’s car was gone, no surprise there, and a peek in the garage told him that his motorcycle was inside, beneath a heavy dust cover. Not that he thought Stretch had taken it out for a spin or anything; from what he knew, Stretch hated driving which was why he stuck to the bus.

Jeff knocked hesitantly on the door, then a little harder, and waited. The minutes ticked by and after a moment of internal debate, Jeff gingerly turned the knob. The door swung open, unlocked, into the darkened front room. Okay, now he was getting more than a little concerned.

The living room offered no clues, and neither did the kitchen. Not so much as a coaster was out of place, only a coffee cup was drying in the dish rack. The coffee pot was on, at least, half a pot still sitting on the warmer, but there was that faint, burnt smell in the air that said it had been there for a long time.

Jeff had never been upstairs and felt like an invader going up them, every creak accusatory.

The first room was locked and he left it alone. The second was a guest room, the blankets drawn tightly over the bed with military precision and the paint a welcoming sunny yellow. The third revealed a large bed, the blankets and pillows rucked up around a shape beneath them.

Okay, now he knew where Stretch was, so what did he do? Jeff shifted from foot to foot awkwardly, trying to decide. Let him sleep? But maybe he was sick or hurt or something, maybe he needed help.

It felt so completely wrong to walk around the bed, leaning in to get a look at him.

The covers were rising and falling ever so slightly with his breathing and his sockets were closed. It really was fascinating the way their skulls moved; they weren’t pliable like human flesh but somehow it worked. Magic, the universal answer to all Monster questions.

“Stretch?” Jeff whispered, reaching out to gently shake him, trying again, “Stretch?”

He stirred, his sockets blinking open. His eye lights were wide and almost fuzzy, and Stretch looked at him in confusion.

“andy?” Stretch asked, his voice rough. He cleared his throat and sat up. The blankets slipped down and left him bare to the hips and Jeff felt his face warm, looking away.

It was a note on how much his perspective had changed that he could be embarrassed to unintentionally see some naked bone. But then, Edge and Stretch didn’t look like Halloween decorations or science room displays; their bones were kinda similar to humans but not completely. Plus, they were so very obviously alive, their magic was visible in their joints, and the way their skulls were somehow malleable. They were Monsters that looked like skeletons, an important distinction.

“andy?” Stretch said again, and his gaze sharpened, taking in the room. “what...uh…” He hauled the blankets back up a little more modestly.

“Sorry, I was worried,” Jeff said meekly, a little embarrassed at coming all the way out here to creep into Stretch’s bedroom like a fucking idiot. Should have texted again or maybe knocked harder, he should’ve done something. “You weren’t at the coffee shop and…”

Stretch’s groan interrupted him, and he flopped backwards on the bed. “fuck, i’m sorry, i just…i was having a bad day and i went back to sleep.” He didn’t seem worried about Jeff sneaking into his room like an idiot, but then, that was Stretch all the way. His concepts of proper behavior were a hell of a lot looser than the ones Jeff had grown up with. “i completely forgot we were supposed to meet. i’m really sorry.”

“It happens,” Jeff shrugged that off. To be honest, he was only relieved that nothing was wrong. Except— “Is everything okay.”

There was a long pause as Stretch seemed to actually consider the question. “yeah. i think so…shit,” he said suddenly, “i haven’t been outside to see the chickens, don’t even remember shutting off my alarm.”

“You want some help?” Jeff asked, equal parts hesitant and curious. “I haven’t seen the chickens yet outside of Instagram.”

That got him a grin. “sure, handy andy, come on out and live up to your name. give me a minute to get dressed, I’ll meet you downstairs.” He hooked a thumb at the door and Jeff went, sitting on the sofa until Stretch tromped down the stairs, dressed from toes to throat in jeans and a heavy sweatshirt, a bright knit hat on his skull.

The chicken coop looked sort of like a gingerbread house, except instead of Hansel and Gretel, three birds came barreling out of an entrance near the bottom, clucking eagerly as they waited by the wire mesh gate.

“sorry, gals, it’s a little late,” Stretch sighed, gently pushing them back with his toes as he opened the door. The chickens milled around his legs, getting even louder as Stretch poured feed into a little trough. They were bigger somehow than Jeff expected but what the hell did he know about chickens? He was more familiar with them in their nugget form.

Stretch left the door open as he came back out. “give them a minute and they’ll wander out to inspect you properly. c’mon, let’s have a seat.”

Beneath a large tree was a frankly charming little patio that wouldn’t be out of place at a sidewalk cafe, with chairs and a small table. Stretch dusted fallen leaves from both and sat down.

“you’d think the leaves would drive the Edgelord nuts,” Stretch said, stifling a yawn, “and that he’d have them bagged and tagged before they hit the ground, but he actually likes them. tries to say they’re good for the grass.”

“I like them, too,” Jeff admitted. “I didn’t see too many leaves where I grew up.”

“yeah?” Stretch chuckled. “me either. okay if i smoke?”

“It’s your yard.”

“it’s your lungs.”

Jeff shrugged. “It doesn’t bother me, go ahead, just exhale the other way.”

It was chilly out, well into October as it was, but in a good sort of way, the kind you could enjoy on your face so long as the rest of you was bundled up. There was a faint hint of smoke as Stretch lit his cigarette, but the breeze carried it the other direction. They were both in warm sweatshirts in the same autumn colors as the leaves, and it was nice to sit out here and watch the chickens, take in the breezy air.

Or at least Jeff thought it was, until Stretch tapped the ash of his cigarette into an ashtray on the little table, saying quietly, “i really am sorry.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Jeff insisted because seriously? What else did he have to do anyway? Nothing that he’d enjoy more than this, for sure.

“except for how you had to drag your ass all the way out here,” Stretch said. It was his tone of voice that was really bringing home how serious he was. Stretch had, not an accent exactly, but a way of speaking that was sort of laconic, his words rounded and easy. Right now, he sounded more like Edge, all crisp syllables.

“It’s not even twenty minutes and I was coming here later to meet Antwan anyway,” Jeff countered. “I didn’t have to take an Alaskan expedition or anything.” For a minute, he thought that was it and they could move past this, maybe enjoy the morning.

“you should probably know i’m not a very good friend,” Stretch said abruptly, ruining that hope. “i have a fuckton of problems that edge already has to deal with, so i won’t blame you if you want to back out of the whole friend thing.”

“Seriously?” Jeff groaned. “Man, you overslept one time. What kind of asshole do you think I am?”

“No but…look, it doesn’t make you an asshole to not want to deal with me.” He exhaled long and slow. “i have depression with manic episodes, ptsd, plus a laundry list of issues i could put together for you.”

“Okay,” Jeff said slowly. “So, you’ve got a diagnosis. From your therapist?” Something about that made a flash of discomfort cross Stretch’s face and he ducked his head, looking at his untied shoes.

“yeah,” he muttered.

“Good, that’s much better than WebMD. Besides, if you look there, it’ll probably say you have cancer.” It made him laughed a little in a way that sounded more like him and Stretch shook his head as Jeff went on, “We’re friends, okay? Even if you fuck up sometimes. Besides, this gives me an opportunity to fuck something up.”

Stretch gave him a wobbly smile. “you think you’re going to fuck something up?”

“Oh, I know I am,” Jeff said matter-of-factly, “If there’s one thing I’m great at, it’s fucking up. But if we’re both fuck ups then we make the best of friends, right?”

“i’m not sure that theory pans out. might need a little more study.”

“Sounds good.”

The chickens had wandered out of the coop during their stroll through the emotional minefield and were at their feet, shuffling through the leaves. Jeff flailed a little when the largest one hopped onto his leg, riding his wild movements easily and plucking at the front of his shirt.

“Oh,” Jeff stared at it in surprise, his hands rising and falling as he tried to decide what to do with them. “I didn’t know chickens were…friendly.”

“these ones are pretty friendly,” Stretch grinned. “they’re all hens. you can pet her, go ahead, noodle likes it.”

Hesitantly, he did, stroking the soft white feathers as the chicken clucked. “Oh,” Jeff said again, softly, “they’re nice, aren’t they.”

“They are,” Stretch said. His tone was a little odd, a little quiet, but Jeff’s attention was on the chicken in his lap. The other two came over to inspect his shoes, demanding their share of his attention and Jeff couldn’t help laughing, trying to pet all of them at once while Stretch only sat at watched him, lighting another cigarette and smiling.

end part 1

Read Part 2

#spicyhoney #papcest #keelywolfe #underfell #underswap #underswap papyrus #underfell papyrus #by any other name #let stretch have a chicken 2k18

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dreaming-about-fanfictions · 7 years

Text

Accidentally Married - Jim Kirk x Reader

MULTICHAPTER

Pairing: Jim Kirk (AOS) x Reader Words: 1861 Warnings: None.

Summary: Getting married when you’re drunk is a terrible and stupid decision and something you would never ever do. You have self-control after all, right? Especially when it comes to your Superior Officers. Especially when it comes to your Captain.

A/N: I love this trope so much, so don’t judge me. Also, I know the name of the story is very creative. It’s a rather slow burn as well. I tagged a few people who are not usually on my tag list so if you don’t want me to include you, please tell me!

Chapter 1

“I swear to every deity known in this universe, if you follow me again, I am going to ask the Captain to let me transfer to the Farragut,” you announced without looking up from your PADD when you heard the door slide open, voice thick with anger and annoyment. “I seriously can’t believe you’re upset with me! Breaking up was - oh.”

When you finally did bother to see who had come in - it wasn’t your now ex-boyfriend standing in the room, but instead a very confused and at the same time amused looking captain. Your eyes widened, shocked that you had been caught in this room.

“The Farragut?” He asked simply and raised an eyebrow (probably spent too much time with that first officer of his) before going over to the bar.

“Yeah,” you mumbled and sat up straight on the sofa. Well, this was embarrassing on a whole new level.

Kirk shook his head in disagreement. “I take that as a personal offense. There are much better ships than her, I can tell you that. If you want, I can recommend some.”

A small - and for you - rather awkward pause happened. Normally, you weren’t someone who got easily flustered and was shy of words, but tonight had been stressful enough and he was the Captain. The longest conversation the two of you ever had was the day he welcomed you on board. Working as an Ensign in the Engineering Department made it almost impossible for you two to cross paths.

“I wonder who got so on your nerves that you consider leaving the best and certainly most beautiful ship in the fleet.” Finally, he spoke again, and a smirk appeared on Kirks face. It irritated you. “I also wonder what you’re doing in the Seniors Crew Lounge considering you’re not part of the senior staff, Ensign Y/L/N.”

He sounded serious but the smile told a different story and when he looked at you while pouring himself a drink, his blue eyes sparkled in mischief.

A blush crept up on your cheeks and you wished that a hole in the floor would open and swallow you whole. A few hours prior, you had been in an ugly fight with your boyfriend which resulted in a break up. You had just hoped for a little quiet time when you sneaked into the Lounge. At this time, the senior staff wasn’t usually around, especially not since most of them were on shore leave today. You just didn’t think someone would catch you.”

“I would offer you a drink but I can see you’ve already served yourself.”

By now you seriously considered just running out of the room to avoid the whole situation here.

“Don’t look so scared now, I’m not being serious,” Captain Kirk chuckled when he noticed how tense you were. He took his glass and walked over to you, sitting down on one of the couches opposite of you. “So,” he took a big gulp, “I still want an answer though.

“An answer?”

“Why are you here and not joining the others on shore leave?”

“Oh.” Telling your superior officer about your personal ongoing relationship drama was very unprofessional, you knew that. You were aware that Kirk cared about his crew, but you had figured it was only to a certain degree. “Relationship stuff,” you simply said. “I just needed some time for myself.”

“I see.” He nodded, sensing that you didn’t want to talk about it.

“I can go now. I’m sorry, I know I’m not allowed to be here,” you turned off your PADD and were ready to get up when Kirk shook his head.

“I’m not sure if you’re even allowed on this deck.”

You frowned. “Why not?”

“You work in Engineering. We never see you guys, apart from when you get drunk on shore leave or have to visit the Medbay.”

The last sentence earned Kirk an eye roll from you. “Right, your tendency to exaggerate things is not that developed, is it?”

“I’m right though.”

”No, you’re not.”

“I always am.”

“Maybe on the bridge.”

“Do you already feel a bit dizzy, Ensign?” He tilted his head while squinting his eyes, pretending to examine you. “This deck is so far up, some people can’t handle heights very well.”

“Medbay is one deck higher and you already pointed out how frequently we are there.”

“That’s true. I’ll write a letter to Starfleet. They should change that in future ships.”

“A letter? That’s very 20th century of you.” .

“What can I say, I’m an old fashioned guy.”

“Pff,” you blew a raspberry and shook your head.

“Speechless?” Kirk teased.

“Nope, just bored of you.”

“Ouch,” he chuckled. “But no, you don’t have to leave. Stay, please. It’s fine.” Kirk leaned back and closed his eyes for a brief second. He looked tired, you thought. “How did you get in here? You’re not supposed to have the codes.”

That was a tricky question. You got them from Pavel, also not someone who was supposed to have them in the first place, after he lost a bet. You weren’t sure where he got them from. Probably Scotty.

“I’m not sure I can answer that question, sir.” You took a small sip of your whiskey. The alcohol burned in your throat as you swallowed it.

“Probably Scotty, am I right?”

You stayed silent but couldn’t stop the corners of your lips from curling upwards. Jim, still watching you, noticed it immediately and smiled back at you. “That man talks too much.”

“I didn’t say it was him.”

“You smiled. That’s enough of an answer.”

“I smile a lot. Doesn’t mean anything.”

“Well, it’s the first time I’ve seen you smiling since I walked in here, so you’re not smiling nearly as much as you think you do.”

“Tonight is different.”

“How so?”

This time, you didn’t immediately reply. Instead you turned your gaze to the window, looking at the people outside who always seemed to be working in this dockyard. Day or night.

“Because of the relationship stuff you mentioned?” Kirk asked.

You looked back at him and let out a soft sigh. “You are very curious, aren’t you.”

He shrugged. “I am, I guess. Always have been. Sorry, you clearly don’t want to talk about it.”

“Nope, not really.” You sighed and ran your fingers through your hair. “I broke up with my boyfriend. Let’s just leave it at that, okay?”

There was a small pause before Jim agreed with a simple nod.

“Why are you still on board?” It was an attempt from you to try and change the topic. “I hear this planet is like Earth’s Las Vegas. I imagine that’s a place you’d enjoy.”

“My brother reached out to me after years of silence and it ended in a fight.” His bluntness surprised you a little. The Captain hardly ever revealed anything about his personal life. He always seemed thoroughly professional, putting ship and crew first.

“I didn’t even know you had a brother,” you admitted.

Jim shrugged again. “There’s probably a reason for that ... let’s just leave it at that, okay?” He quoted and winked at you.

Silence filled the room again as you both took another sip from your drinks. Slowly, the tension had begun to fade. Part of you actually enjoyed sitting here, talking to him. It seemed so ... easy. You wouldn’t have expected that.

“You know what?” He suddenly exclaimed.

“What?”

Jim got up from his place and quickly grabbed the bottle of whiskey before coming back. He motioned you to give him your glass and refilled it, before doing the same to his own.

“Let us have a drink together. Both our nights have been shit so far, so let’s forget about it, and work, and everything else.”

You chuckled slightly. “Sounds like a good plan to me.”

“Great,” he grinned and his whole face lit up. “Call me Jim tonight.” He raised his glass.

“Alright, Jim.” Not addressing him by his rank felt somehow unnatural. “I’m Y/N.” You said nonetheless and raised your glass as well. “Cheers!”

“Cheers!”

***

“DAMNIT, JIM!”

You groaned when a loud voice woke you up from a deep, dreamless sleep. Slowly you began to open your eyes, not realizing where you were. All you knew was that your head hurt like crazy. In fact, it hurt even more than a year ago when you accidently caught that weird alien disease that pretty much made you feel like your brain was exploding inside your skull. “Oh fuck,” you yelped.

“Lights to a hundred percent!”

This time, you weren’t the only one swearing when the almost blinding white lights hit your face. “Lights to thirty percent!” You shrieked and buried your head in the pillow.

“Lights to sixty percent!” A grumpy voice scolded.

“Ugh!” Your headache only grew stronger with every passing second. Fuck, how much did you drink last night? What had happened? You remembered sitting with Kirk in the Senior’s lounge and drinking and then ... everything was still a little blurry in your memory.

Then another thought shot through your mind: Who the hell was standing in your room? You raised your head from the pillows, blinking a few times (the light was still way too bright in your opinion) and looked around for the first time since you woke up.

Confusion began to grow inside of you when you noticed strange objects. You were pretty sure that your quarters didn’t include a couch. Or man’s clothing scattered on the ground. In fact, it slowly dawned on you that those weren’t your quarters. No, this room was way bigger. And the bed you were lying in way more comfortable than yours - and there was no logical explanation for Doctor Leonard McCoy looking down on you right now.

“What the hell is going on?” You croaked (your throat practically screaming for water), staring at the older man next to the bed.

“I’d like to ask you the same thing, darling.” He replied in a demanding tone and shook his head. “And you too, Jim!” In a swift movement he grabbed a pillow and threw it behind you where it was answered by an annoyed curse.

Jim.

Jim?

Your eyes grew wide with shock and you practically jumped out of the bed.

There he was. Half naked, lying on the other side of the bed, rubbing his eyes and letting out a yawn. “Morning to you too, Bones.” He muttered and got himself up on his elbows before looking over at you. “And to you, gorgeous.”

You just stared at him in disbelief. “Why the hell was I in your bed?!” The only relevant question right now, you thought.

Oh god. You didn’t ... a terrible thought began to manifest itself in your mind. Oh please no, you couldn’t! You’d never ... would you?

But then Leonard McCoy managed with one single sentence to blow all of your fears of having accidentally hooked up with your Captain away, when he turned to you and the following words left his mouth: “I believe the more urgent question is, why are you wearing a wedding dress?”

Masterlist: Accidentally Married

My Masterlist

Tag list: @goingknowherewastaken , @pandigirl19 , @whatif-animagineblog , @imoutofmyvulcanmind , @feelmyroarrrr

Tags for this fic: @dudahmautner

People who might be interested (you were so supportive of the idea so please tell me if you want to be excluded): @thevalesofanduin , @janeykath318 , @kingarthurscat

If you wanna be added to / removed from the tag list, just shoot me a message!

#a gif will be added tomorrow #jim kirk x reader #jim kirk/reader #jim kirk x female reader #jim kirk #jim kirk aos #jim kirk fanfiction #star trek #star trek aos #star trek fanfiction #fanfiction #my writing #bones #leonard mccoy

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