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queenimmadolla · 2 years

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𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈

(Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader)

summary: You cancel on your plans to hang out with your crush, Eddie, and your friends when you realize your competition for his affections will also be there. So, naturally, Eddie comes to you.

warnings: misunderstandings, little bit of hurt, little bit of angst, a lot of fluff and a lot of comforting,

a/n: little companion piece to In My Dreams. inspired by Hozier’s song Would That I, my re-watching of grey’s anatomy, my love for Lexie Grey who heavily inspires Reader’s personality in this, and that confession. for creative purposes we’re gonna pretend Halloween 5 came out before 1986, Eddie got held back like twice maximum, and everyone is alive/lives in Hawkins because this is an ideal world. probably won’t be able to post much in the coming weeks so enjoy and let me know what you think (don’t be a jerk)! mistakes will be fixed later.

You open the sliding door of the shower with a sigh, arm curling around your body at the slight temperature change as you yank the towel off the bathroom counter where you had set it and wrap it around your body, quickly drying off your limbs. Once you’re dry enough, you step out of the shower, towel now wrapped around your body as you grab a clean t-shirt to wrap around your drenched hair.

You swipe the condensation from the steam off the mirror, staring at your bare, disappointed face before the steam fogs it up again.

Your body heaves out another sigh as you prepare to go through your routine in a failed attempt to not think about all the fun your friends are having without you at that very moment.

It wasn’t like they hadn’t invited you, because they had. Heather had come bounding up to you during break on Tuesday to tell you about the group’s plans to hang out on Friday night, go to the mall, head to the movies then grab a bite to eat and probably hang out at someone’s house. You’d agreed immediately, loving nothing more than spending time with your friends. But then you had found out two things that had certainly rained on your parade before it even started:

1.) Roxy Campbell was going. Heather knew how much you two didn’t get along (a dislike that had been mutual since elementary school but had only spiked in animosity in recent years) and had hurriedly explained that it hadn’t been her that extended the invitation to Roxy, which lead you to reason number two.

2.) Chrissy Cunningham would be there. There wasn’t any bad blood between you and Chrissy, far from actually. You didn’t interact with her too much, she was more Heather’s friend than yours (and you sometimes wondered about that, they often cuddled up during big sleepovers, and disappeared at gatherings) but the common factor between Roxy, Chrissy and you was the real problem.

See, you wouldn’t have a problem being in the same place as Roxy on her own, and same goes for Chrissy, but together, they would just be too much for your insecurity, because Eddie was going.

You’d had a crush on Eddie since the fourth grade (he’d been a couple of grades ahead of you at the time, but now he was attainable, or you had thought he was) but it was when Heather had sucked you into their rag tag group consisting of a bunch of social misfits (Steve, Jonathan, Nancy, Argyle, Barb, Robin, Eden, Eddie and a partridge in a pear tree) during junior year that you actually fell in love with him.

He’d been the one you had bonded with the most, you had almost nothing in common—but it didn’t seem to matter because he made you feel like you mattered. He made you feel seen when you thought you were invisible, made you feel heard when you thought no one was listening, and you just. . .you really loved the way he made you feel.

And you were stupid enough to love him. Stupid enough to love his long curls, his smile (the crazed one was a favorite of yours, but it was topped by the shy one he’d always exchange with you when it was just the two of you in your own world—regardless of your friends surrounding you, or when you were in class and you’d turn in your seat to look back at Eddie and he’d already be watching you, he’d give you that same, beautiful smile), the way he’d doodle silly little things all over his hands (and you could go super into depth about your admiration for those hands), how he resembled a Gremlin when he ate, how he couldn’t seem to sit like a normal person in most public settings unless he was mentally exhausted, his dramatics and the stupid faces he’d make, the way he’d bark at Tommy H. when the jerk dared to try and approach Steve or if he was simply annoying Eddie, how much time and effort he put into campaigns, how he never seemed to get mad during the rare campaigns in which the Hellfire Club managed to breeze right through his monsters, mazes, and obstacles. You could go on forever and that was the problem.

Roxy started liking Eddie right around the time you fell in love with him—because she always has to have whatever you want—and Chrissy was the last girl you were aware he’d had a crush on. A crush he’d had since the seventh grade. Given the current strength of your feelings for a crush you’d had for far longer, you didn’t have any hopes that he’d moved on, since you—ya know hadn’t. Roxy didn’t really intimidate you, but if you were sandwiched between the two girls—or worse, if Eddie was, you’d be forced to watch either another girl flirt with him or watch him flirt with another girl. Both of those options sounded terrible to you and you were positive you’d just end up with a stomach ache that had you nearly bedridden like you always did when it came to heartbreak.

After three days of debating, you’d called Heather before you were all supposed to meet up at the mall and had used your mom not letting you go out because you had chores to do as an excuse. Your mom wouldn’t have appreciated being made the villain but they had all seen you looking perfectly fine at school only a couple of hours earlier, meaning you couldn’t play sick, so she’d just have to take one for the team.

Heather had sounded disappointed but understood and told you she’d let the rest of the group know.

Then you proceeded to have a breakdown, you’d cried and cried, crawled into your shower, cried so much and let the reality of not ever being able to love Eddie and be loved by him crash down on you, your chances of being the reason he smiles and feels loved circle the drain before washing away as your body shook with your sobs. At one point you had thought you might suffocate with it all, but you hadn’t. Once the hot water had begun to lower in temperature, you forced yourself to get up and get yourself together. Eddie should be able to be happy with whoever he wanted and if you were really his friend, you would have to be happy for him and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

So, here you were. All alone on a Friday night while the rest of the teenagers in Hawkins got to be, well, teenagers.

You try cheering yourself up by doing a full body shave since you have the time, moisturizing heavily with sweet smelling lotion, shaping your eyebrows, doing a ton of face masks—you may be feeling pathetic but your skin sure wasn’t—and painting your nails and toes. You’d gone with a metallic green this time in an effort to be daring. You even put your earrings back in, just to feel a little less naked.

Once the polish is dry and you have done all the self-care you can think of, you’re left with nothing to do and no one to keep you company. Even your mind is quiet and your thoughts are whispers, if anything. They’re not nice whispers, so you decide to watch a movie. You throw on one of your comfy sweaters and a pair of boy shorts before running downstairs to sort through the rentals your family still has. Normally, you wouldn’t go running out in your underwear regardless of how similar to shorts they appear, but even your parents had plans tonight, Fridays were date night. They’d come home sometime after 2 am, giggling and so in love as they tiptoed—incredibly loudly, somehow—past your room to try and not wake you up while you listened to them trip and stumble down the hall because you couldn’t help but like to listen and imagine it being you and Eddie one day; drunk, in love and without a care in the world because you’d have each other and maybe a slightly sleep deprived teenage daughter.

The movie selections aren’t too vast, most of yours had been returned on Wednesday—WAIT, SCORE!

You admire the VHS cover of The Last Unicorn with a smile before tucking it under your arm and disconnecting the VCR from the TV in the living room. You carry the bulky thing and its wires up to your room, quickly setting it up to your smaller tv and popping the tape in. While the previews play, you pull the soaked t-shirt off your head, your hair is still damp but as you look at yourself in your bedroom mirror, you can’t help but smile. Your face is glowing, you smell amazing, you hair—while still somewhat wet—looks promising to dry and set satisfactory. Hell, the damp look is working for you on its own. With a smile on your face, you feel and look beautiful.

The t-shirt is tossed into your hamper and you dig out a couple of your favorite snacks from your hoarding place under your bed before you settle on top of it, belly down and your comfiest pillow under your chin as the movie begins.

The movie is comforting and provides you a sense of nostalgia, though it hadn’t come out too long ago. You chalk it up to its dated terms and the general setting of it.

You’re completely invested in it, mind filled with nothing but commentary. You’re wondering why the animators made Celaeno the Harpy’s three titties so big and bouncy when the sound of knuckles rapping on your window surprises you. You push yourself up on your arms, craning your head to look even though you have an inkling who it is, the only person to regularly visit you via window pane.

Sure enough, Eddie is grinning at you from the other side, gesturing down to your window locks. You hadn’t been expecting him so you’d left it secured. It was only a little past 8 pm and hang outs nearly went on to 1 am, why wasn’t he with everyone else?

You move your snacks aside and abandon your pillow in favor of climbing off your bed to pause the movie before you make your way over, unlocking and opening the window for him.

“FINALLY!” Eddie grunts out as he tumbles in, rolling a little ways away before he jumps up and stretches his arms out so high he’s almost touching your ceiling. You roll your eyes, a small laugh slipping past your lips as your fondness for the silly boy quickly rises to the surface.

“Oh, quit it, you faker. You weren’t out there that long.”

Eddie scowls at you, eyes narrowed playfully. He won’t bother telling you that he’d been there for ten minutes (after he’d struggled to get on the roof for the same amount of time, Jesus H. Christ, it never got easier scaling your home, but he’d be damned if he stopped doing it, it was romantic and he was in the middle of wooing) watching you in a non-creepy manner, you’d looked so beautiful and peaceful; he hadn’t been able to take his eyes off of you or even consider making you aware of his presence until the overwhelming urge to hold you had taken over. He didn’t know if he’d finally be able to work up the courage to do so but the distance between you, and the physical separation started to give him anxiety so he’d knocked.

“You still took your sweet time getting off your butt to let me in,” Eddie teases as he makes himself comfortable, kicking off his shoes and shrugging off his jacket to hang on your desk chair. He even takes the chain off of his jeans, tucking it into one of the jacket pockets.

“I wasn’t expecting you!” You throw your hands up in defeat after you shut the window again.

Eddie’s grin turns sly, “Did I surprise you, kid?”

Now it’s your turn to narrow your eyes at him, because you know he doesn’t have the audacity to bring this up again. “Do. Not. Start.”

“It’s just pretty interesting for a guy whom you referred to as predictable today, at 10:06 in Mr. Bellow’s class, to surprise you in a manner that is evidently not so predictable.” He’s smug, so very smug as he crosses his arms and smirks.

You groan, though there’s no annoyance to it, in fact—you’re fighting off a smile. If you smile, he wins and that’s what he wants. You can’t give him that, it's the little teasing game you have going on. You will not break.

“You accuse me of holding onto grudges─”

“Because you do.”

“—yet here you are, bringing up something from the past!”

“It happened today!”

“Yeah, earlier today, as in not right now, meaning the past. Besides, I wasn't wrong. You always climb up to my window and you always try to be unexpected, so really, this was very much so an Eddie thing to do and I am—in fact—correct about you being predictable.” You state as you make your way back to your bed, climbing back on top and folding your legs criss cross style.

Eddie stares at you from where he’s standing, amusement clear in those big beautiful, Bambi eyes of his. The smirk is still there, but it’s not so sly or smug anymore, more gentle and you can tell he’s trying to not let it break into a grin but he’s smiling, nonetheless, so you win. And he knows it.

He shakes his head, turning to look at your poster and art covered walls so you can’t see just how big his grin is. When he finally composes himself, his body is relaxed, arms dropping to dangle by his sides as he stalks towards your bed.

“You’re delusional.”

“Am I wrong, though?” You beam up at him and he can’t say no to you, ever.

With a heavy sigh, he drops his weight onto your bed, falling onto his back. Your poor snacks go tumbling but you don’t care, leaning an elbow on your knee as you rest your chin in the palm of your hand while you peer down at him.

“No. What are we watching?”

“You didn’t answer my earlier question.”

“You didn’t ask a question.” You know he knows what you’re referring to.

“I could smother you right now.”

“Mm, but you won’t.”

You drop your hand from your chin to dart forward and tickle his side. Eddie yelps, letting out a loud laugh as he tries to wrangle your hand in his, securing your wrist in his grasp.

“Okay! Okay! Fine, what’s your question?”

“Why aren’t you with everyone else?” You exclaim, in your rush of adrenaline, rather than ask.

Eddie answers like it’s the most simple question in the world, blinking up at you as though the answer should have been obvious to you, “Because you’re not there.”

Your brows furrow, a confused smile crossing your lips and Eddie wants to lean up and kiss the spot between your eyebrows to ease them. You smell so good, too. He just wants to bury his face in your neck, your hair, suffocate himself with you ‘til his lungs refuse oxygen in favor of needing you to breathe.

“I’m hardly the life of the party, Eddie.”

Not when Roxy and Chrissy are around, you think to yourself. If you’re being honest, Chrissy seems more fun than Roxy, and so are you. Anyone is better than Roxy. You can’t help but briefly wonder how Roxy can be friends, acquaintances, whatever, with Chrissy—not that there’s anything wrong with the sweet blonde—but if it was obvious to you that Eddie liked Chrissy, it should have been obvious to Roxy. Roxy loathed you even more than she had before for being friends with Eddie, you figured she’d hate Chrissy since she was the object of his affections.

“You’re spacing’ out on me, kid.” You’re literally shaken from your thoughts when Eddie puts his giant freaking hand on the top of your damp head, giving it a gentle shake. He laughs at your expression when you swat his hand away.

“Sorry, was just thinking about something. Did you say something?”

“I said you’re the life of my party,” Eddie repeats, trying to maintain his cool, despite how fast his heart was racing. He’d do that a lot, drop little hints to see if you picked up on them with hopes you would. Then, he’d have the perfect opportunity to finally tell you how he feels; like how his heart had just about dropped out of his ass when Heather had come on her own and told them you wouldn’t be joining them. He’d been sullen and mostly quiet as they walked through the mall. Steve and Argyle had tried to cheer him up, but it was useless. Chrissy had even tried to strike up a conversation but he couldn’t think about anything but you, so that had dropped pretty fast and he was sure he’d come off as rude, only he couldn’t care right then but he’d apologize next week at school.

Eddie couldn’t even recall what movie they had ended up watching. Even if he had been trying to pay attention, Roxy was constantly trying to talk to him during the movie so he wouldn’t have been able to hear it anyways. The entire time he was trying to think of why you hadn’t shown up. Heather had mentioned something about your mom, but Eddie knew your parents had date nights on Fridays so you were pretty much free to do whatever you wanted. Were you sick? On your period? Suffering? And here he was, albeit not having an even decent time, hanging out with his friends when he could have been comforting you or just with you. He left before the movie hit the halfway point.

“Coolest person I know, kid.”

You smile, sinking back into your shoulders shyly, you may not have been the apple of his eye, but you were still cool in his, “Thanks, Eddie. You’re the coolest person I know, too. Maybe even the best person I know, in general. Don’t tell Robin or Eden I said that.”

Eddie chuckles, still hyper aware of your wrist in his hand, if he plays this right he could just slide it up ‘til he’s palm to palm with you and intertwine your fing─

“The Last Unicorn,” You announce, finally answering his question as you sit up only to lean back into your pillows, pulling your wrist out of his hold just as Eddie had been about to trail his hand higher. You pat the spot next to you as you pull your knees to your chest. “We lost the remote so you’ll have to go press ‘play’.”

“Oh, I’ll have to go press ‘play’, huh?” His amusement is back as he shifts onto his side to face you.

“Mhm,” You nod innocently, placing your finger on the tip of your nose. “Nose goes.”

He stares at you, incredulous, before he reluctantly pushes himself up even though you both know he would have done it regardless.

“That stupid game doesn’t even make sense, if it’s gonna be called ‘Nose Goes’ shouldn’t the first person that touches their nose fucking go?” He grumbles as he presses the button on the VCR before climbing onto the bed, making himself comfy next to you as the movie resumes.

You shush him, eyes fixated on the screen again, on Celaeno, “Look at her boobies.”

Eddie does as you say, guffawing once he notices. He’s more amused with your thought process than he is with the harpy, for obvious reasons. One being that he’s in love with you and how cute you are and the other being that the harpy is far from appealing to look at.

“Wait, does she have three tits?”

“Yeah.”

“Why, though?”

“Because Harpies have three titties, I don’t know, Eddie, I didn’t make the movie.”

“Well, like—does she need the extra one?” He never noticed it before.

“I don’t know, I’m more concerned about how human they look. I get that harpies are kinda supposed to look a little human, but she’s really fugly and not at all human in appearance. They really gave her three human boobs and called it a day. Could have at least given her a human head or some hair but no.”

Eddie’s focused on you, watching you from the corners of his eyes as you rant. One of the things that had broken the awkwardness when you first met was your love of fantasy. You weren’t as obvious about it as he was with his, but he’d seen you reading your copy of The Sword in the Stone after you’d finished a test early, in the English class he shared with you, right before the end of your sophomore year. He’d spent the whole summer wondering about you and he’d been grateful when Heather had been inducted in the group, bringing you with her in the fall. When he failed, he’d been bummed but knowing he got to spend more time with you, learn more about you eased the ache. Falling in love with you had just about healed it completely, and with your encouragement, he was on track to graduate alongside you this year.

When Eddie doesn’t respond, you turn your head to him, raising your brows when you notice his gaze is fixed on you, “You okay, Eddie?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, kid.”

He really is, he’s thinking about all the things he loves about you. How animated you get when you’re excited about something, the way you get all shy when you realize just how excited you’d been, how optimistic you were even when you were having the worst of days—you never lashed out at anyone because of it, how you always put others first (you always claimed to be selfish but the moment you realized you could help someone instead of yourself, you did it), how forgiving you were (Steve had been somewhat of a jerk to you when he was still King Steve but the moment you realized he was genuine in his redemption, you never brought it up and always made sure to mention how he’s grown as a person when someone else brings it up and yeah, Eddie was a little jealous about that). How unapologetically yourself you were, silliness and all (like how you’d gone as Jamie Lloyd in her clown costume with the red nose and mask, from the Halloween movie while everyone else was dressed as provocative as possible for Zoe’s halloween party—and then you’d gone to Tina’s party as an angel with very little covering you up, because you could do both, and Eddie had to spend the entire night hiding an erection). Or how you made the wall flower kids, that Steve and the others sometimes couldn’t see needed attention, feel seen; Lucas, Will and Jane loved it when you came around. They always referred to you and Jonathan as their play parents and yes, Eddie got incredibly jealous with that, too.

And then there was the way you made Eddie feel. Despite his growing friendships, he had still felt a sense of loneliness, still needed his alone time because they overwhelmed him a bit. But not you. You snuck up on him, came into his life so quietly you hadn’t disturbed any of the foundation he’d built around himself to keep the world away, yet still somehow ended up on the same side of the wall with him. When his head got loud, you were there to hush all the thoughts, bringing him a sense of peace. He hardly had to even defend himself to verbal lashings anymore because you were putting whoever it was in their place without even being mean about it, which made him feel like people really were just messing with him to be jerks, like he wasn’t actually a freak. You made him feel like they were the problem, not him. When you looked at him, he felt like you were actually seeing him. Not Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson, not the frontman to a band everyone thought was going nowhere, not some high school repeat, not some drug dealer, not trailer trash, just Eddie.

God, and the way you said his name! You’d beam, sit up straighter while you flashed him that beautiful smile and Eddie felt like he somehow lit up the room for you, despite you already being the brightest thing in any room.

He’d had crushes before, on Chrissy Cunningham, on Ally Citronni, Tammy Thompson—she talked to him, okay? He was lucky if a girl didn’t walk away giggling with her friends and not in the ‘I just talked to a cute boy’ way and she was a nice girl—even the fucking counselor and yeah, he’d had one on you, had expected it to go away like it had with the others, but it hadn’t. Instead, it blossomed into something so intense he couldn’t eat, he couldn’t fucking sleep, he couldn’t think about anything that wasn’t related to you.

Love on the fucking brain.

He’d even been forced to talk to Wayne about you when Tommy H. had asked you out in an attempt to make Carol jealous during one of their break ups. Even though you’d flat out said no, it had been a reality check for Eddie. Someone could easily just steal you away. Eddie hadn’t been able to sleep right for a week, and he hadn’t even touched his guitars, prompting an Uncle Wayne intervention, that conversation led him here. And all of the other times he’d tried—failed—to tell you how he felt.

You went back to watching the movie, but not Eddie. He was ready for this, fuck the hints.

“I’m glad I’m not in this movie cause I would have started sprinting, then she’d kil─”

Eddie had placed a finger on the side of your chin, directing your face to his instead of the TV while you had been talking and you hadn’t been able to drag your eyes away from the action on screen but that didn’t stop him from kissing you, lips pressing firmly against yours.

That caught your attention.

Your eyes widen as you realize what’s happening and when it becomes clear Eddie won’t be pulling away, you melt into him, eyelids fluttering shut while you return the kiss with the same amount of fervor. The rest of his hand comes to cradle your jaw, thumb stroking your cheek as he licks at your lips. They part for him almost instantly and he moans at the first taste of you, tongue swiping against yours.

Eddie dominates the kiss and you’re helpless to do anything but respond as he explores your mouth, licking any chance of coherency right off your tongue. His other hand slips around your waist, pulling you flush against him, onto his lap and you can’t quite believe that he’s cradling you like this, as though you were something important to him. You can’t even believe he’s kissing you, let alone this thoroughly!

When Eddie finally—and very reluctantly—pulls away, there’s a string of spittle connecting your lips. You lick it up and Eddie nearly creams his pants right there.

You stare up at him, eyes wide and vulnerable as Eddie leans down to press a kiss to your forehead, thumb still stroking your cheek.

“I love you, kid. I’m in love with you. Messed me up the moment Heather dragged you over to the lunch table and you wouldn’t let go of the seat you’d been sitting on at your old table. Had a feeling it’d be you, I hoped it would.” He confesses, voice gentle and nearly a whisper into the charged air between the two of you.

You want to cry the happiest of tears as you finally confess during a moment you genuinely thought wouldn’t come, not after the circumstances of how the night had started for you, “I love you so much, Eddie. You’re all I think about; I can’t sleep, I-I can’t eat and when I didn’t think you could love me I couldn’t breathe. I love you, I love you so much and I wanted to tell you, I did but I was so scared you wouldn’t love me and I’d ruin it all but I do! I love you.”

Eddie’s on you in an instant, lips insistent against yours and you can’t help the few tears that slip out but Eddie’s quick to wipe them away, trying to convey just how much he loves you with his kisses. When he pulls away again, he rests his forehead against yours.

“I’ve tried to tell you so many times, baby. I just—I fucking suck. That’s it,” the way Eddie says it makes you laugh and he smiles at the sound, leaning forward to press another kiss to your lips. “I fucking suck. I have loved you for so long, and I should have told you a long ass time ago, a fucking year ago. You really are the life of my party—love of my life, actually. You’re it for me, like—fuck.”

He’s quiet for a few moments, but you can be patient now, you’re willing to wait for him forever.

When he speaks again, the playful edge is gone, “I want to marry you.”

Your breath hitches along with your heartbeat and Eddie continues, “Not yet, not while we’re in school, but I’m positive I want to marry you. Hell, if I didn’t think I’d distract the shit out of you, I’d carry you to the courthouse right now—don’t be a smart ass, I know what you’re gonna say and I’m very aware they’re not open right now—but I’d sit there and wait. That’s how sure I am. So when we’re ready, when you’re ready, if you’ll have me, I’m gonna marry you. But for now, would you—I don’t know, wanna be my girlfriend?”

You yank him down for another kiss, multiple before you’re pressing them all over his face and you’re sure he’s smiling, can feel his cheeks pull up when your lips pass over them.

“Yes, yes I want to marry you someday and yes, I want to be your girlfriend. I want you, Eddie, and I’ll take you anyway I can have you.”

Eddie pulls you even further to him, something you didn’t think was possible, as he hugs you, the hand on your cheek traveling up to cradle the back of your head.

You can’t see his face in this position, your face is pretty much pressed into the crook of his neck, but you’re sure he’s crying, can feel the wetness on the side of your forehead.

Your arms wrap around his middle, inching the fabric of his shirt up so your fingers can press into his back. Despite the seriousness of your conversation, Eddie lurches forward into the bed and you squeal as you go with him, back meeting your blankets.

“Eddie!” You’re pinned underneath him, and Eddie has no plans on moving.

“Hm?”

“Get off!”

“You just told me you’ll have me any way you want me and now you want me off of you? I am all for the chase, baby, but you really gotta make up your mind.”

“Ugh,” you groan, admitting defeat as your arms wrap around him once more to hold him and he lets out a content sigh, nose nudging your head. You turn your head in the direction and he presses another sweet kiss to your lips before nuzzling his nose against yours.

“I’m gonna run down the halls on monday and tell everyone you’re my girlfriend.”

“How predictable of you.”

“Kid, I swear to God.”

You and Eddie will have to save The Last Unicorn and the harpy with three boobs for another time, too swept up in each other to pay it any mind.

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dailyreverie · 1 year

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We fell in love at the end of the world

Part of the Your Wish is my Command universe

A/N: ...well this took a while didn't it? To makeup for it here's a long-ass update with like a thousand taylor swift song references because that has been my personality for the past two months. Title comes from the song with the same name by "Hozier" (Give it a listen because it has huge Poe vibes)

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Solo!Reader (fem.)

Word Count: 3.9k words

CW: A lot of feelings. Bar setting, alcohol and drunk people mentions, reader drinks alcohol, s3x mentions.

SERIES MASTERLIST

There were so many factors of why you couldn’t be with Poe that you didn’t even know where to start enlisting them. The heart-crushing feelings you had for him were becoming unmanageable; you couldn’t look at him, couldn’t speak to him, couldn’t think of him without feeling your limbs and organs moving in a giddy flutter, so you did the only thing you could do: avoid him at all costs.

It’s hard to do so, ignore your favorite person in the whole galaxy, but maybe if you did for a few weeks you could get over all those feelings… right? And yes, it’s hard to do so, even more so when you are summoned to a briefing only to find him going in at the same time.

“Hey!” Poe sounded happy when he saw you, relieved even, his features even lighting up when he looked at you after taking a double look. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Poe!” Damn you, Dameron, was all you wanted to say when his arms opened to greet you with a bone-crushing hug. “You know how this gets…” Your vague answer made his smile turn into a tucked-lip grin, almost as if he were disappointed by your answer.

“I know,” was all he said. “So are we both in trouble, or are we going on the same mission?” Being in trouble sounded like the better option. You couldn’t know, but Poe thought so too.

An infiltrated spy in the government had reached all the way to the Resistance, and of course, in order to give away more information, the spy needed an in-person meeting. Even knowing that, when the General told you who was assigned to the mission, that news alone terrified you more than the actual meeting.

“I’m sending you two”. You couldn’t know who was more nervous about it, you, or Poe, who kept looking at you without really knowing what to say. Your blood turned cold in your veins. You looked at Poe as he looked at you, and you both turned to look at the General. “Why?” You asked, trying to remain as cool as possible even though you felt like your knees could give up on you at any moment. You failed, clearly, since your own mother looked at you stranged at your uneasy tone. “I mean… why send two people? Isn’t this a- uhm- one-person job?” You saved yourself quickly while looking at Poe, who seemed like a lost porg with wide eyes avoiding yours.

She glared at you as if she knew more about you than you did - and she probably did. “I’m sending you because they are expecting an Organa, and I’m sending Poe as your protection.”

The General walked past you, leaving no room for protesting. All Poe did when you exchanged a look was shrug.

“Protection?” You asked after a beat, once the General had walked past you, and from the look on her face, you may have asked a bit too harshly. Poe looked down, hiding a hurt smile that twisted your insides from guilt. “What I mean is- You don’t have to send your best pilot to this mission, I can handle it on my own. It’s just intel, after all.”

“Well, then…” Leia looked between the two of you; you with your panicked eyes hiding a thousand feelings, and Poe a couple of steps behind, uncharacteristically quiet, watching it all unfold. “...then consider this a fun friend getaway, in which your friend is also there for your safety.” She patted your arm and left the room.

“Hey!” Poe called you as you began to walk outside, and as you stopped and turned around, facing each other and waiting for him to speak, you got a glimpse of the hurt from before mixed with something else, something warm; right there, all over his eyes, you remembered why you couldn’t be sent alone with him. “Are you okay?” Was all he said.

“Yeah.” You said almost instantly. “Why wouldn’t I be?” A chuckle came right after.

“You seemed a bit… I don’t know.” His voice turned to a quiet whisper at the last words, as if he were questioning his own self. “Are we good?” He sounded hurt, and you hated yourself. A nod was all you could do without giving away your almost exploding feelings.

“We’re good.” You confirmed. It wasn’t his fault, he didn't deserve to be ignored by his best friend.

Poe nodded back, convincing himself about it. “I thought you were avoiding me, I just- I wanted to make sure we were good.”

Damn. Damn him and his perceptive, smart, beautiful, brain.

“Don’t be ridiculous, I would never avoid you.” You smiled, with an apology between the lines that you hoped he would get, but a real smile after all. You can’t be away from him, it doesn’t matter how hard you try.

“Well, then I should get some rest. Can’t be easy being your personal security, I have to be well-rested.” You pushed his shoulder, scoffing at his dumb joke. You felt almost relieved to be back to laughing with him, not realizing how torturous the past couple of weeks of avoiding him had really affected you. “I’ll see you in the morning, Lieutenant.” He shouted as he turned his back to you, finally, letting you break into the enormous smile you couldn’t contain anymore.

It was going to be a hard mission.

******

In another life, this would have been the most beautiful trip. You arrived well into the afternoon, with a smooth flight with Poe as your pilot soaring you amongst the clouds of the waterfall-filled moon you were sent to. Poe and you were back to being your ridiculous selves with each other, making the job of not falling anymore for him harder.

You laughed together at Poe’s dumb comments and jokes about being your bodyguard, walking side by side along the streets lined up with stone walls that paved the way to your secret meeting. “I need you to stop looking at me, ma'am, you can’t be distracting your security guy on times like this.” He faked a deep, serious voice, failing miserably at it since his lips kept turning upwards at the sound of your laughter.

“Shut your mouth, Dameron.” You rolled your eyes, but in all honesty, you couldn’t stop looking at him. You had to lay low for the meeting, no uniforms or clothes that could give away who you were, and Poe’s choice of clothing had you mesmerized since the moment you saw him before take-off; with his hair pushed back and his relaxed white shirt that hung loosely from his shoulders while still showing the built frame that the pilot suit usually hid, you were having a hard time to focus on what had to be done. Not that it was any easy for him either, since what you had modestly called a disguise happened to show your body in a way that was giving Poe a hard time to even turn the engine of the ship on.

Sure, you were there to see a potential spy and anyone could come around the corner and attack you, but for a few hours you felt like you could forget about all that; for a few hours, it didn’t seem like you were falling in love in the middle of a war.

Meeting the spy was anything a meeting with a spy could be, or so you thought, since you had never done it by yourself before. As soon as you reached the cantina he mentioned you spotted the guy, immediately tensing as a sharp breath came in through your nose. The realization of why you were there came upon you then, when you saw the blaster hanging so freely by the guy’s hip. Thank the Maker your mother insisted on sending Poe with you, who so gently reached for your hand and squeezed it gently. “I’ll be right beside you, I got you” he whispered, nudging his head towards where he was already holding his blaster by his hips.

You were spotted and greeted with an acknowledging head tilt and a hand urging you to reach the table. “I was expecting the General, not some kid and a flyboy playing war.” His voice was a whisper, yet you could still hear the raspiness of it, one that came with the age his graying hair and experienced eyes showed.

“The General has more important matters than meeting a self-acclaimed spy.” Your reply made Poe hide a proud smile with a bite on his own cheek.

“You talk just like her.” He asked, knowing quite well who you were. “Little Solo, aren’t you?”

“Are you giving us what we came for or should we just tell the General we wasted our time?”

“No!” He said in an instant. “I can’t say much, but everything you need to know is here,” he placed a drive on the table that Poe quickly went for, examining it before putting it in his pocket.

“What’s in it?” Poe asked urgently.

“Mission logs. Everything you need to know about their locations, positions, and next attacks.” He stood up then, looking at both you and Poe with the surprised look on your faces.

“How do we know you are trustworthy?” You did your best to read him, but he gave no sign of being either on your side or on the other guys’.

“Who would be crazy enough to meet the Resistance, anyway?” And with that, he walked away.

“Well, that was fast,” Poe spoke first, signaling the waiter for a couple of drinks not before putting the drive safely kept in one of BB-8’s compartments.

“This better be real,” You couldn’t shake the nerves away from your body, only then realizing how risky everything could have been. Who knew, maybe you were distracted by your security after all. “What if this is a fake thing? Or a drive that will read into all of our files and all our missions and-”

“Hey, sweetheart,” Poe’s hand reached yours on top of the table, but even without the touch, the way he interrupted your dooming thoughts so sweetly, calling out for you in that way he hadn’t done before, was enough for you to land on your feet again. “It’s all going to be okay, we’ll check it before giving this to the General, ‘kay?”

You nodded, that’s all you could do, since words had left your brain for a good minute already. If his words weren’t enough before, Poe smiled at you reassuring you everything was going to be alright. And how could it not with Poe by your side?

After one more comforting hand squeeze from Poe, he leaned back, taking his surroundings in as you took the chance to admire the view before you, it was not every day that you got a relaxed, loose-curl Poe all for yourself. “Let’s get drunk, what do you say?”

“Huh?” His proposal caught you by surprise, you were too busy thinking of… other things.

“We’re already here, the night is young, and that was stressing enough.”

You laughed at his words, murmuring a so-not-convincing “You are terrible, Poe,” covering your face long enough to not see the way he lit up at your giggles. His mission was accomplished. “Alright Commander, let’s get drunk.”

A couple more drinks flowed for each one of you, enough for both of you to be comfortably tipsy, laughing, and living that night without a care in the world. Poe was in the middle of recounting a ridiculous story about Snap, something involving his ship becoming the nest of a family of tiny rodents on their last trip to Endor and him being terrified of them, when you realized how drunk you both actually were, laughing your asses off without really being able to pay enough attention to the story.

“I swear, he kept squirming away and begging me to take them out of his ship,” Poe managed to say in between laughter.

“Oh poor Snap,” You tried having some sympathy for the guy, but in between the alcohol and Poe’s laugh, you really couldn’t feel anything other thing than an exploding amount of happiness. “How come you had never told me that story?”

“It just happened las week,” Poe’s laughter began to die down. “And you were too busy not wanting to talk to me.” He raised his eyebrows at you from behind his glass. You had no words to justify it, not this time, yet your mouth still opened and closed without a sound coming from it. The one thing you were working so hard on not bringing up was laid on the table, displayed for you in the shape of Poe’s whole heart.

“I was not- ugh, I know what it seemed like but I promise it’s not-”

“This is not just me, right? I mean… you feel this too, right?”

“What are you talking about?” You almost believed yourself, asking unknowingly as if your heart wasn’t hammering against your chest all of a sudden.

“You know what I’m talking about.” Poe was so sure about what he was saying you could be mad. But you weren’t, you couldn’t be.

You could keep quiet. You could stand up and leave and never acknowledge your feelings anymore. The thing is, you couldn’t, not when looking at him at base and much less with the stars ant the moon reflecting in his eyes. “It’s not just you, it definitely isn’t.” You stated, simple as that, but the look in his face, hopeful and gloomy all at the same time, told you that you hadn’t answered his question at all. After a sigh, you spoke again. “We can’t, Poe.”

“Is this why you’ve been avoiding me?” He almost hoped, because that was way much better than any scenario he had played in his head.

“Yeah,” you shrugged, doubtful, not knowing how to tell him. Poe smirked, laughing at the situation you were both in. “I’m sorry, and I’m sorry for lying to you about it yesterday. But this, whatever this is, is something I never felt before.” The tiny smile he sent your way was enough to make you smile too. “Great timing, huh?”

“It’s not the best.” Poe nodded without ever breaking his stare from you.

“When Leia assigned us both, and I knew we were going to be sent away together, I- I knew I would not be able to hide it, but I had to at least try.”

“I know. I-” His own laugh interrupted him, meeting your eyes with a shimmer in them. “I felt the same way.”

You shared a silent smile, taking in the fact that you had both just confessed how bad you had fell and how you couldn’t do much about it.

“I don’t know if I’m brave enough to risk it.” The happiness you had felt mere seconds ago left the table, breaking both your hearts almost instantly. Poe understood, you saw him nodding, but that didn’t meant he agreed with you. “It’s just- It’s hard, Poe, and just imagine us trying to work this out in the middle of a war. There’s so much at stake and-”

“Hey, hey-” He cut you off, grabbing your hand over the table in a soft grasp in the process. “I know.” When he sighed you realized he felt the exact same way. “Let’s just finish this mission, ‘kay? We already have the intel, so let’s enjoy this dinner, get the job done, and when we get back we can continue our own lives forgetting about each other. Deal?” A pained smile painted his face. Poe’s eyes spoke a million words and reflected even more galaxies. You wanted to explore them forever.

No!, you wanted to scream. No deal, no way. How could he even suggest that when he knew damn well it would be a lie to you both? “Deal.” you said against yourself matching his sad smile, thinking of all the possible ways this could have ended if your lives weren’t so complicated.

The inn they had put you at was as lovely as the rest of the town, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to enjoy the night away with an actual bed instead of the hard mattresses you had back at Base. The report of today’s encounter was half-filled on your pad, which was long forgotten on the bed as your eyes got lost in the sight outside your window. Your nails couldn’t resist any more picking and biting, but you couldn’t take Poe’s words out of your mind.

He felt it. He felt it too and there you were like an idiot trying to avoid the most real thing you’ve both ever felt in years. “Fuck it.” you spoke into the silence of your room. You didn’t think twice when you began walking to the door, headed straight to Poe’s room across the hall and set this straight once and for all. You couldn’t ignore your feelings anymore.

But as soon as you opened the door you were met with Poe’s disheveled curls and his uneasy eyes. “Poe.” You greeted surprised, not knowing what else to say, the practiced speech you had planned was nowhere to be found anymore.

“I can’t,” he said firmly. “I can’t go back and live life without you. You have no idea how hard it has been for me too.” You were speechless. When you made up your mind to go and confess your feelings to Poe you never expected this, never expected him to be already at your door with a desperate confession of love. “I think I’m in love with you.” He added when he saw you were not talking. “I’ve been for a while, and I can’t pretend anymore that I’m not, especially when I know that you feel it too.”

He took a step back from your door when he saw you were quiet, muttering a quiet apology, but the lightning bolts you felt on your fingers couldn’t let him walk away.

“Wait,” Your hand reached for his wrist and stopped him, pulling him to be close to you again, close enough for your chests to press against each other with every quick breath you took. Poe smiled, that stupidly gorgeous smile of his.

“I’m in love with you too.” You barely finished the sentence when his lips crashed against yours, backing you into your room and closing the door behind him as his lips moved in sync with yours. Tender and soft, just as you had pictured them so many times, they molded perfectly with yours, all while his hands held your back letting yours cling around his neck, up and down his back, around his arms… anywhere they felt like going, making up for all the times you could’ve kissed him and you didn’t. His lips found their way to your neck not long after, making the most beautiful gasp leave your lips. You could feel the smile on the kisses he was peppering all over your neck and jaw, your fingers tangled in his curls to hold him firmly against your skin.

“Poe,” You breathed, and whatever it was you were going to say was cut short when he started kissing your lips again. With expert hands, firm and rough moving along your back, he walked you backward until the back of his knees reached the bed, lowering slowly to let you straddle him. Breathless, you parted your lips and found each other’s eyes. You couldn’t help but laugh, an incredulous laughter that forced you to hide your face in his neck. His fingers turned delicate as he traced circles on your back. If this was what kissing Poe was like, you would’ve kissed him the moment you met him at that bar.

“There’s no going back from this, isn’t it?”

“There better not be.” Poe shook his head with a lovestruck smile all over his face. Your fingers reached up to trace Poe’s eyebrows, soon your lips replaced them and traced down his face, to that spot in between his eyebrows and the hard edges of his nose that you’ve always loved. Your hands traveled down his chest and began to lift his shirt, there was no hurry in your movements, all you wanted was to enjoy each minute you had together.

“Are you sure?” Poe whispered as you began to lift your own shirt.

Once it reached the floor and your hands were back to each side of his face, you replied with a smile on your face: “With you, I’m always sure.”

The night passed in a blur of soft touches and tangled limbs. Poe took his time, never rushing anything, letting every exploding emotion take over your bodies whenever it arrived, every time it arrived. It was everything you had ever dreamt of and more, it was the man you loved with every bit of your heart loving you back as if both your lives depended on it.

You were still wrapped in each other when the sun came up, the silence of the couple hours of sleep you had filling the room in a quiet haze. “What’s going to happen when we get back?” You broke the silence. “When people find out it’s all going to be a mess. My mom is going to freak out, everyone is going to talk, and the ranks are definitely going to come up…”

Poe turned his head to kiss your forehead as a way to stop your rambling mouth, which for some reason, has happened a lot in the last few hours. “Why don’t we take it slow? With telling everyone, I mean.”

“Sure, because the last 5 hours were definitely us taking it slow.” You commented with sarcasm, making Poe tickle your side. “Are you talking about a secret relationship, Commander Dameron?” Resting your chin on his chest you turned up to look at him.

“Maybe.” He met your impressed stare, and as you began to break into a smile he quickly turned around to lay on top of you. “I would want nothing but to scream into the galaxy that I’m madly in love with you,” He squeezed your side, making you squirm. “But for now, just for a while-”

“I know, I know. We should enjoy having this for just us, just for a little while.” You finished, pulling him in to kiss him. “You’re going to have to keep it professional, though.”

“What are you talking about? I’m always professional.” Much in disregard of his own words, his lips started attacking your neck leaving delicious open mouth kisses on it.

“I mean no cute little nicknames, no calling me ‘sweetheart’ in public, no sneaky looks,” Poe whined, writhing his hips against yours as he complained. “Definitely not that.” You whispered that last part, fingers sneaking up to his tangled curls.

“I can behave, sweetheart, if that’s what you’re worried about.” The way he said that, with that love-drunk smile on his face, told you just how much trouble you were in. “Can you?”

You matched his daring smile, quickly thinking and catching him off guard as you pushed him to his back and straddled his hips. “Of course I can.”

You could deal with the rest of the galaxy some other day, because right then there was nowhere you’d rather be than in Poe’s arms.

🚀✨🚀✨🚀✨🚀✨🚀✨🚀✨🚀✨🚀✨

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#poe dameron x reader #poe dameron imagine #poe dameron fluff #poe dameron x you #poe x you #poe x reader #poe dameron x y/n #poe dameron au #poe dameron fanfiction #poe dameron fanfic #poe dameron fic

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thegirlwiththeblush · 5 months

Text

Soft and As Pure As Snow

Thirteenth Doctor x Yasmin Khan

Word Count: 2.9k (insane)

Fandom: Doctor Who

Song Inspiration: Would That I by Hozier

Summary: The Doctor and Yaz travel to the final Frost Fair of 1814, with a couple of inconvenient tag-alongs.

a/n: Apologies to all for the desperate attempt at fluff, but I hope you enjoyed it, and that all of the Thasmin shippers get some well-deserved recognition here. Now I go back to hibernating and not writing for another six months. Special thanks to my dear friend Heidi for proofreading this within twelve hours of completion (the dedication!), and to @vorsdany, my best friend and writing inspiration, for encouraging me and providing prompts for me to write this.

It wasn’t often that the Doctor had time off from saving the universe throughout time and space, and she was going to make the most of it. Whether she’d admit it to herself (or to anyone) or not, her first thought was to take Yaz on a trip somewhere special, somewhere she reserved only for very important companions. The problem, however, was not convincing Yaz to come along, but to make sure it was only Yaz.

“What, do we only get to come along when we’re doing your dirty work?” Graham folded his arms in a dramatic display of indignance. “That ain’t fair, how come only Yaz gets to come along?”

“Maybe the Doctor’s just in the mood for a girls’ trip,” Yaz suggested, and the Doctor smiled at this upstanding gesture.

“Well, isn’t that sexist,” Ryan chuckled. The Doctor knew he was only kidding, but she was growing more frustrated by the second.

The four of them were seated around Yaz’s family flat, with Yaz’s family away for the week. The Doctor couldn’t have been more pleased with how everything was lining up, but Ryan and Graham were about to ruin everything.

“Listen, fam-”

“I thought I told you I wasn’t too fond of that term?” Graham grunted, instigating an eyeroll and small smile from Yaz.

The Doctor gave a small sigh of exasperation. “I love all of you equally, but I don’t think you’d be keen on this particular spot I’m taking Yaz to. It’s just not that...interesting.”

“Well, what is it then?” Ryan asked.

“Just the Frost Fair of 1814.” She glanced around the room as she half-mumbled the words, trying to come off as nonchalant as possible.

“Yo, does that mean ice skating?!” Ryan sat bolt upright, a grin spreading across his face. “Not that interesting. What are you on, mate?”

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. “Wouldn’t that be difficult with your dyspraxia?” She wasn’t one to practice ableism, but her desperation had her grasping at straws.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t give it a shot,” Ryan protested, standing up from his seat. “I’ve been learning to ride my bike, haven’t I? I’ve climbed huge ladders, I’ve faced robots and aliens, for crying out loud. I can at least have a go.”

The Doctor was bewildered. This was a burst of self-confidence from Ryan at a time that most inconvenienced her.

“Yeah, and don’t count me in as uninterested,” Graham joined in. “They’ve gotta have some bloody good shish chicken there, and I’d be keen to have a taste of 1814 gin. Not to mention, weren’t there sword swallowers there? I wanna figure out how they do it.”

The Doctor blinked, and Yaz voiced her exact thoughts. “Suddenly you know everything about the 1814 Frost Fair?”

Graham shrugged. “Well, you gotta do your research when you’re travelling with the Doctor.”

The Doctor couldn’t believe it. It was already impossible to have any alone time with Yaz on their journeys, but now, even in their free time, she couldn’t have one day to explore the feelings that had been growing in her chest with every passing moment.

Throwing up her hands in resignation, she raised her eyebrows and smiled tightly at the boys. “Fine, we’ll all go then.”

The two of them whooped and high-fived, and Yaz smiled knowingly at the Doctor; although, the Doctor didn’t think Yaz could possibly have understood her intentions. She wasn’t even exactly sure of her own feelings, and she certainly didn’t expect the young officer to reciprocate them.

The four clambered eagerly into the TARDIS, the Doctor dawdling behind with a slouch and a pout. She noticed Yaz watching her out of the corner of her eye but thought nothing of it as she made her way to the control console. Forcing herself to regain her focus, she began inputting coordinates, biting her lip lightly in concentration, and, in part, to force down her vexation.

“Oi, Graham,” Ryan said, a small smile playing across his lips. “What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?”

“What?”

“Frostbite.”

“That was a crime,” Graham groaned.

“That was pretty bad,” Yaz agreed.

“No, I’ll tell you a real good one,” Graham continued and Yaz sighed. “I thought it was going to be frosty, so I plugged my electric blanket in beside my toaster. I kept popping out of bed all night!”

“Not the time for jokes, fam.” the Doctor interrupted before the boys could continue their tirade. “Everyone hold on to something, I’m having to reason strongly with the TARDIS right now, and I can’t predict how she’ll react.”

“What’re you reasoning with it for?” Ryan asked, grabbing onto the nearest time rotor crystal, unsure of what exactly there was to hold on to.

“I’ll explain later,” the Doctor replied hastily, still irked by his and Graham’s presence, and her concentration fixated on preparing the TARDIS.

The TARDIS began its all-too-familiar whirring and vworping, and the Doctor allowed herself a small, satisfied smile. Humans may be difficult and inconvenient, but at least the TARDIS was constant and, while not always predictable, predictable in its unpredictability. She ran her hands over the console, soaking in its mechanical warmth and finding grips as the ship began to take off. She grinned in relief as she sensed the vortex energy giving in, and widened her stance in preparation.

After a short, bumpy flight, the four of them released their holds, and the companions turned to the Doctor for guidance.

“Doctor,” Yaz murmured, approaching the blonde with her hands folded. “This is 1814, yeah?”

“Yes, yes, it is.”

“What are we gonna do about, um...” Yaz trailed off, unsure of how to address the subject, but instead gesturing to her face in a circling motion, and then Ryan’s.

The Doctor bit her lip in acknowledgement. “Don’t worry, I’d thought of that, this ain’t my first rodeo with the terrible man-made creation of racism. Unfortunately, I can’t do much to protect you two, but I’ve got a closet full of clothes to dress you up, and you’ve got me to protect you every step of the way.”

“And me,” Graham butted in, puffing his chest proudly. “I’ll protect you with my life.”

“No offense, Graham, but I feel much safer with the Doctor,” Ryan replied, earning an indignant pout from his grandfather.

“If you want to find the wardrobe, just head down that corridor,” the Doctor continued. “It’s the first door on the left, then the second right, duck under the stairs, go past the bins, and it’s through the fifth door on the left.”

Ryan blinked, Graham raised an eyebrow, and Yaz bit her lip to hold in a chuckle. The Doctor sighed in amusement and waved a hand towards herself. “I’ll just show you the way, eh?”

Once the four of them had decked themselves out in 19th-century-style clothing, they returned to the control room, Graham visibly uncomfortable in his tight waistcoat and tailcoat.

“Glad we evolved from this uptight garb,” he mumbled grumpily as the Doctor opened the TARDIS door, allowing a blast of cold air to rush into the room, blowing Ryan’s top hat off. The four of them stumbled back a little, before peeking out into a world of white. Snowflakes drifted lazily around them as figures, young and old, wandered up and down the frozen River Thames, barely any unsmiling faces to be seen.

“Doctor, this is beautiful,” Yaz murmured, taking in the view, her mouth slightly agape. Despite having seen countless regions of space and lands she’d never anticipated seeing in her lifetime, this winter wonderland was still enough to leave her almost speechless.

The Doctor couldn’t help but smile to see her eyes so full of fascination, but after allowing herself only a moment of adoration, she dragged herself back into the present. “If I’ve calculated the coordinates correctly, we can’t possibly collide with one of my previous incarnations,” she said. “Ten points if you counted how many c words I said in that sentence.”

Ryan choked on a short laugh, but Yaz raised her eyebrows. “You’ve been here before, Doctor?”

“Oh, yes, few times,” the Time Lord replied. “I took another companion, Mai, ice skating, three generations back; came here twice with two different friends in my last one; I even came here when I first ever started traveling; and finally, I took my, er, dear friend River here to hear Stevie Wonder sing under London Bridge.” She wasn’t quite ready to explain the nature of her relationship with River, especially not to Yaz. Not that she fully understood or acknowledged why it was so tricky to tell Yaz.

Yaz’s eyebrows shot up even farther. “So, this is quite a special place for you, Doc?” Graham said.

The Doctor kicked around at something at her feet, shrugging. “Yeah, I guess so.”

Yaz opened her mouth to say something, but Ryan interjected with, “Well, what are we all standing around for, come on now, let’s check it out!”

They headed out, the Doctor locking up the TARDIS, and the cold air swelled in their nostrils, their throats and their lungs. Wrapping herself up tighter in her coat, Yaz turned slowly as they walked toward the stalls, taking everything in.

Dim rays of sunlight glimpsed through the thick cloud coverage, and Union Jacks were draped from makeshift pubs and food stalls, some of them adorned with the red ensign, presumably to represent the boatmen who could no longer travel down the river.

Children chased each other across the ice, dodging and diving between traders and their customers. Small fires were lit near food tents, meat roasting on spits across them, the smell wafting through the chill and tantalizing her senses. The subtle scent of brandy mixed with it, as well as bitter hints of tobacco, but Yaz breathed it all in, grinning as she absorbed the final Frost Fair in all its grandeur.

It warmed the Doctor’s heart to see her dearest companion so happy; she didn’t even register her own smile growing as she watched her.

“Is that my shish chicken?!” Graham cried, turning to the Doctor helplessly. “You don’t happen to have a couple quid that’d work in this century, do ya, Doc?”

The Doctor turned to him, amused, and dug around in her pocket. “I always come prepared, Graham,” she replied, pulling out a few pounds and shillings. “Who am I to deprive you of your shish chicken? Share these with Ryan, and don’t spend it all in one place!”

“You got it, Doc, much obliged!” He sauntered over to a wide-eyed Ryan, hooking an arm around his and guiding him towards an aromatic tent, his face upturned to soak in the smells.

The Doctor couldn’t believe her luck. Maybe her plan wasn’t completely spoiled after all.

“So, how was it exactly, you got Stevie Wonder to sing in 1814 on the River Thames?”

The Doctor turned to see Yaz, her hands dug in her pockets and a small smirk playing across her lips.

“Well, I can’t spare all of the details on that,” she replied, “but let’s just say he was entirely unaware of any time travel.”

Yaz chuckled. “Isn’t that a little mean?”

The Doctor pursed her lips, considering this. “In hindsight, maybe, but no harm was really done. He got to visit an exciting point in history. He’ll just never know it.”

Rolling her eyes and grinning, Yaz copied Graham’s move and hooked an arm through the Doctor’s, making both of the Time Lord’s hearts skip a beat or two. “Show me around, Doctor, since you’re clearly so familiar with the place.”

Taking the opportunity with no hesitation, the Doctor led the way towards a wooden barricade, weaving deftly through the crowd while Yaz had no problem keeping up. She looked around keenly, before emitting a relieved ‘ah!’ and dragging Yaz to a small booth, pulling out more coins from her pocket with the other hand. Handing them to a short, bespectacled man who appeared to be running the stand, she grabbed two pairs of ice skates off the counter, handing one to Yaz. “Hopefully they fit alright!”

Yaz inspected the skates, the long metal blades sharp and shining, the boots made from starchy leather, unlike any she’d find in her own time. She looked up to see the Doctor hopping from one foot to another, trying to remove her shoes and replace them with the skates without having to sit down in the snow. She chuckled at the sight, and offered her arm to steady the struggling blonde. The Doctor took it gratefully, and once she’d donned the skates, offered her own for Yaz.

Tossing their regular boots to the side, they slipped through a gap in the barricade, where snow had been shovelled away to create a rink. Children, young and old couples, and solo skaters glided around the two of them as they struggled to gain their balance.

“How likely d’you think it is that our boots will be snatched up?” Yaz queried.

The Doctor shrugged, giving her a small apologetic smile. “Probably.”

Yaz shrugged back, and the two clasped hands and began moving slowly across the ice, their skates scraping viciously as they tried to create a rhythm.

“If you let go of my hand, I’ll kill you,” Yaz said, giggling.

“You would need to be able to skate on your own to catch me.”

Yaz’s jaw dropped in amused shock as the Doctor snatched her hand back, skating away at what she probably thought was a rapid pace. The two of them laughed as they began a clumsy game of cat and mouse, wobbling and trying unsuccessfully to maintain their footing.

Eventually, the Doctor made one false move, sending her foot flying out from beneath her, and she fell on her back with a small thud. Yaz, in a desperate attempt to stop herself from crashing into her crumpled form, felt her weight shift forward as she plummeted down. She threw her hands out just in time to catch herself, hovering mere millimetres above the Doctor’s panting form. Their eyes met, both at a loss for words as their shared body heat became overwhelming and Yaz struggled to keep herself up.

“Here, let me-” The Doctor gently pushed Yaz up from under her arms, sitting up as she did so. They shuffled themselves to the edge of the rink and sat back against the barricade, grinning shyly at each other, hoping the other skaters wouldn’t be inconvenienced by their respite.

“So, waddya think?” the Doctor asked, kicking at the ice timidly.

Yaz smiled. “No Stevie Wonder in sight, but this certainly is nice.”

The Doctor opened her mouth, then closed it. She wanted to say that Stevie Wonder was entirely unnecessary when Yaz’s presence was a delight enough for her; but there was no way to know she felt the same way. Unless-

“Doctor,” Yaz interrupted her thoughts; it was her turn now to kick nervously at the ice, her eyes drifting anywhere but towards the Time Lord’s familiar gaze. “You- you said you brought your dearest friends here, a- and you didn’t originally want Ryan and Graham coming along with us.”

The Doctor couldn’t look away from Yaz’s shivering form despite the confrontation in her tone. Something about her being so vulnerable, so comfortable with her, although nervous, made her even more beautiful in that moment. She bit her lip lightly as she shifted her weight, and Yaz finally turned and locked eyes with her.

“Is- is there something you want to talk about, Doctor?”

It was rare that the Doctor was at a loss for words, but in this moment, she had nothing but love in her hearts, and it was a difficult thing to speak into existence.

Instead, she reached a hand out to caress Yaz’s cheek, cupping it, holding her gaze, her face inching closer. She waited for her to pull away, to protest, but she didn’t; in fact, she seemed to be moving in in time with her.

“... You’re good to me, Yaz,” she murmured, before their lips met tenderly, and heat blossomed within her chest. Nothing had ever felt so long-awaited and so right, and as Yaz’s hand crept around the back of her neck, the fire inside of her blazed brighter.

Her lips were impossibly soft, and the Doctor’s hearts fluttered with every movement of their mouths, her hands near losing feeling with the bliss that overwhelmed her. It felt far too soon when they inevitably pulled away, hands lingering around each other’s necks.

The Doctor almost felt relieved to see the beaming smile on Yaz’s face, both of them slightly breathless, their eyes drifting back helplessly to the other’s lips.

“We should probably go find the others,” Yaz murmured, and the Doctor blinked, bringing herself back to earth.

“Of course, yeah,” she agreed hastily, worried that she’d somehow read it wrong. She scrambled to her feet, but Yaz pulled her back down to her level.

“We should absolutely revisit this later, though,” she whispered, “Doctor.” Pressing another chaste kiss to her lips, Yaz rose to her feet, using the Doctor’s arm as a brace before the besotted Time Lord could even process what just happened.

Much to their surprise, they found their boots exactly where they’d found them, and in no rush, they replaced their ice skates with them, eyes flitting back to each other, lips still tingling and embers still glowing in their breasts.

They returned the skates, smiling first at the bespectacled man and then at each other, as if they shared a scandalous secret. They wandered through the fair in search of their friends, the snow falling around them as they disappeared into the crowds, hand in hand.

#thasmin #thirteenth doctor #doctor who #yasmin khan #yaz khan #jodie whittaker #mandip gill #doctor who fic #doctor who fanfiction #i barely know these characters i have no business writing for them wtf is wrong with me

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billieb0i · 9 months

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You're My Gift (Silrah fic)

(here's my gift to @lottiehenrietta for the Fate: The Winx Saga holiday exchange! I had a great pleasure writing it! I hope you'll like it. 🩵🩷)

(you can also read it on AO3)

24th of December. As the snow was falling heavily outside and night was falling on Alfea, Saul and Farah were busy baking Christmas cookies. And not just any kind: German hazelnut cookies. Of course Saul and Farah didn’t know a single thing about… what, Germany? It was a land from the First World and neither of them had ever been there before. Bloom had told them about this faraway land, but which seemed to be utterly enchanting. She told them that one didn’t speak the same language in Germany as in the Other World for instance. Most of all, she told them about the food. On a trip to Germany a few years ago, Bloom discovered the much-vaunted hazelnut cookie recipe at the Christmas market. It was her favourite.

“You should try that one,” she said to the couple the week before. “It’s a must.”

Saul had rushed off to buy all the necessary ingredients for the cookies, whereas Farah had unknowingly purchased his gift. She hid it in one of her desk drawers, where she knew Saul wouldn’t interfere in. Yet she was unaware of Saul’s gift for her. He was thinking about that while baking the last cookies. He couldn’t help but admire his partner. She remained astoundingly beautiful, elegant and smiley. Her golden hair cascaded over her shoulders and she handled the cookie dough delicately. “How lucky I am to know her,” he thought. Hozier’s Work Song was playing on the radio. Saul whistled to the rhythm of the song. It was their song. He refrained from dancing and instead busied himself with putting the cookies in the oven next to a salted caramel Christmas cake.

“I know you feel like dancing, but be patient. We’ll have a slow dance tonight,” teased Farah.

“I feel like a kid, Fa. It is the best night of the year,” whinged Saul.

They both beamed, then they prepared the tea. Bloom, Sky, Terra, Sam and Ben will be coming in a few minutes, so they set the table with a Christmas-coloured tablecloth, arranged small dessert plates on which they placed black and gold paper napkins.

They barely had time to put the spoons down when someone knocked on the door. Farah opened the door and let her guests in. Everyone greeted each other warmly, taking care not to crush the presents. It was a family tradition: everyone gave each other their presents on the 24th at teatime, then Saul and Farah celebrated Christmas alone, Bloom and Sky on their side and Ben, Terra and Sam all together. But at the moment everyone was chatting happily over delicious freshly baked cookies and cake. And now it’s time for the Christmas presents.

Farah and Saul had a great evening in their friends’ company, who had given them incredible gifts such as a state-of-the-art Polaroid camera, a large recipe book and board games. Nevertheless they couldn’t wait for their friends to leave, as they wanted to give each other their present in privacy. Not that it was sex toys, only Farah and Saul liked to be just the two of them. These moments were so rare that they cherished them even more.

“I’ll get your present, close your eyes,” Farah smiled.

“Just let me look for mine and I’ll close my eyes,” Saul teased her, smirking.

He went into their bedroom, slightly trembling with fear. He’d never given a present like this before, for the simple reason that Farah was his first –and perhaps only– love, and he was dreading spoiling the moment due to anxiety. But he pulled himself together; he was going to do everything in his power to ensure that Farah was happy with his gift. He lifted a board from under their bed, which only he knew one could hide things underneath, and took out a sheet of paper. Then he returned to the living room.

Farah had only just returned from her office, but Saul had already closed his eyes. She handed him the small package, which Saul hastily unwrapped after reopening his eyes. It was a small jewellery case containing a magnificent silver signet ring with a labradorite stone. ‘This stone is supposed to bring protection to its owner. I thought it would be appropriate for you.’ A tear of joy rolled down Saul’s cheek. He went over to her and kissed her tenderly, giving her a big, warm hug. Then she said: ‘Come on, give me your gift!’. Her partner told her to sit, then Saul knelt down and started to read his paper with the best diction he could muster:

“With you I am at ease:

the faint clocks idly strike,

just as in olden days.

Come tell me of a love -

but simply not aloud.

Somewhere a gate's unclosed

out in the flower breeze.

Night listens at the panes.

Let us stay quiet now:

no one knows us so.”

“It’s a German poem originally. Bloom gave me the idea and she translated it for me.”

Farah’s heart began to pound wildly. Saul had just read her a poem. She didn’t know Saul had this poetic side and she was all the happier for it. She didn’t have the words to express what she was feeling. All she could do was hold her partner as tightly as she could. They were in their bubble of comfort and love and nobody could take that away from them.

They spent the rest of the evening playing their new boardgames, listening to songs that were dear to both Farah and Saul and eating cookies. It was just fine.

#winxsource #fate the winx saga #ftwsholidayexchange #farah dowling #saul silva #bloom peters #sky of eraklyon #terra harvey #ben harvey #sam harvey #fluff #fanfiction #silrah

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demoniccak-e · 8 months

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proving ever hozier song is good omens

first album: hozier (expanded edition)

Take Me to Church

My lover's got humor She's the giggle at a funeral Knows everybody's disapproval I should've worshiped her sooner:

The way that Crowley is, as a demon, seen as the bad guy. That that's what his image is supposed to be and taking it from like the demon's and the angel's pov, Aziraphale finds that intriguing. (he does but not in the way that the angels/demons are thinking). The Aziraphale sees Crowley isn't the fact that he's evil and like he's bad but he finds that the way he bends the rules, or does what is seen more as morally good. That's the part that Aziraphale likes and that's what Crowley's evil his to him. (This probably sounds like nonsense but like stick w me here)

If the Heavens ever did speak She's the last true mouthpiece Every Sunday's getting more bleak A fresh poison each week "We were born sick", you heard them say it:

I think that this can be seen either way, either how they were going to execute Aziraphale for being w Crowley or as Crowley being casted down to hell because she was not worthy or good enough to be an angel. Heaven saw the two of them as poison.

My church offers no absolutes She tells me, "Worship in the bedroom" The only Heaven I'll be sent to Is when I'm alone with you:

I think this could be applied to both of them but it resonates more with Crowley because like "my church offers no absolutes" is like saying that "Heaven doesn't actually know a good or evil, they only see things in black and white" but the gray that Crowley sees is that "The only Heaven I'll be sent to / Is when I'm alone with you" That Aziraphale is Crowley's idea of Heaven yeah sure in a romantic way but also like it's actually giving "angel" a description.

I was born sick, but I love it Command me to be well A-, Amen, Amen, Amen:

Whenever I hear this line I always think about the season one ending, the one where their dining together. That they just want each other's company, that their "sickness" that heaven claimed that they had wasn't really a bad thing. It was just them, they were fine with it. They didn't feel sick. (Lovesick? Absolutely.)

[chorus]

Take me to church I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife Offer me that deathless death Good God, let me give you my life:

The first 2 lines, I think about Crowley obvs, like he's heard so many lies about Heaven or like the "truths" that Heaven gives. That there is only good and bad. And the fact that their idea of "bad" was asking a couple of completely valid questions is like- insane. Just insane. Then the last 3 lines I think about Aziraphale, like that day where they sat on that rock. He was ready to go to Hell, and he was probably ready to give up his existence that day when he didn't know what Agnes's last prophecy meant. Like their both ready to drop everything for the other and the reason that they aren't together after season two is because they never told each other that. (miscommunications)

If I'm a pagan of the good times My lover's the sunlight To keep the Goddess on my side She demands a sacrifice Drain the whole sea Get something shiny:

I think this part is sort of how Aziraphale sees what Crowley is saying during the confession scene. I think that Crowley was asking for him to make a choice, him or heaven. This is sort of the miscommunication part of it.

Something meaty for the main course That's a fine looking high horse What you got in the stable?:

This feels like the Crowley part to me for some reason, like the part where like he's like frustrated that Aziraphale won't let him talk but what are you saying rn (I have no idea if this makes sense or not)

We've a lot of starving faithful That looks tasty That looks plenty This is hungry work:

When Aziraphale wants that life with Crowley. He wants to take his hand and runway. And it's also like that metaphor, that Aziraphale never knew he was starving, he never knew he was starved of pleasure. And it's also what I think Aziraphale views his love for Crowley is, like "hungry work".

[chorus again]

No masters or kings when the ritual begins There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin In the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene Only then I am human Only then I am clean Oh, oh, Amen, Amen, Amen:

I think that this is sort of what I think season three is, like not the part where they're not talking but if they were (THEY WILL) to make up, then it would sort of be the realization that they're not actually doing something wrong, they're just wanting to be together and just enjoy each other without the fear that some danger will come after them.

[chorus]

first song done my god

#good omens #aziracrow #hozier

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siena-sevenwits · 2 years

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My first year using Spotfiy as my music source of choice. My Wrapped playlist is a little wonky, because I have tended to use the app for discovering new music rather than replaying loved songs. Not much classical or instrumental or hymnody on this list, because I tend to put them on shuffle without catching the names of the tunes so that I can return to them. And some of the top songs are there because I was fine-tuning a playlist inspired by someone else's writing or because I was DJ'ing a dance, and my brain makes playlist decisions only by hearing the songs a million times. But if I filter those out and I look at the ones where I kept going back to them because I loved them and needed more of the them throughout the year, here are some of the top picks on the list. They tend to be pop and folk.

"King of the World" by Young Rising Sons

"I was a stranger, held my hand to my eyes Blindly walking on a street full of lies But I found truth buried deep inside of my bones."

This one is so hopeful and adventurous and bursting with life! So victorious and motivating.

2. "We'll Meet Again" by TheFatRat and Laura Brehm

"The oak tree where I met you And the writing on the statue I still remember every word you said..."

This song is really a leftover from a difficult time last year when I ended up instilling this song with the hope I needed to get through. It remains a favourite, and a reminder that we made it to the other side.

3. "Inventor's Daughter" by Branches

"And she is like a stick laid down And a white flag torn from a wedding gown..."

The lyrics in this song blow me away with their poetry. I started to like this song by association with a couple of fictional characters, but now I enjoy it so much better letting it stand alone on its own merits, and the Inventor's Daughter and the Beggar's Son join the cast of stories in my mind.

4. "Hoist Up the Thing" by the Longest Johns

"Fresh out of college with grades straight from Hell I browsed for a trade at which I could excel An ad for a ship in need of some manning Men, sails, and purpose, but lacking a captain..."

It's good fun. Not necessarily a true favourite, but of the type that if it turns on I won't stop it. This is what I get for turning to that random Monkey Island playlist I found when I want something cheerful but am not sure what. Feels a bit like @fictionadventurer's imaginary book rec for Mercator Must Walk the Plank crossed with the Arrogant Worms.

5. "Oak and Ash and Thorn" by the Longest Johns

"Elm, she hates mankind and waits, 'til every gust be laid To drop a limb on the head of him that anyway trusts her shade But whether a lad be sober or sad, or mellow with ale from the horn He'll take no wrong when he lyeth along 'neath Oak, and Ash, and Thorn."

Ah, a Longest Johns song I can really respect. This one has good bones.

6. "Be Somebody" by Boyce Avenue

"So please Be somebody with me If you feel like running The grass is greener inside your heart And I'll be there if it falls apart Love who you're becoming Sometimes we win but sometimes we fold Story still remains untold"

Found this one while listening to a favourite playlist by @telthor and it became one of my "doing the dishes" songs, then I put it on the dance playlist for my sister's wedding. Love it.

7. "King of Anything" by Sarah Bareilles (Strings version)

"Let me hold your crown, babe."

I have been familiar with the original version of the song a long time, but something about the strings version made it that much more reminiscent of my two novel protagonists.

8. "Shine" by Vienna Teng

"Shine with all the untold Hold the light given unto you Find the love to unfold In this broken world we choose"

When I asked for secular advent recs last week, and @valiantarcher suggested this one, it made me smile, because it was one of my most loved songs of the past year (though I didn't realize it was one of my top played!) Gentle and so, so good.

9. "Like Real People Do" by Hozier

"What did you bury Before those hands pulled me From the earth?"

Didn't think I liked Hozier till I heard this song. Still haven't looked into him much, but this was a winner.

10. "Runaway" by Aurora (piano acoustic version)

"And all this time I have been lyin' Oh, lyin' in secret to myself I've been putting sorrow on the farthest place on my shelf La-di-da..."

The song itself is overplayed. But it's a good good song, and hearing this version breathed new life in it. Her voice is fascinating.

#spotify wrapped #top ten #music

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redgoldblue · 2 years

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hozier & lake street dive titled ones please heehee 🍓

love won't you be as you've always been (Good Omens)

I refuse to acknowledge that this one may well never come to completion/publication because i love it too much. it's set a couple weeks post-canon (book canon, ignoring anything that may happen in show s2) when Crowley and Aziraphale decide to go on their first proper date only none of their ideas for Proper Date Activities People Do On Dates work out until they finally go 'fuck it let's go watch the ducks'. it has footnotes.

“This is fine. Thisss is fine. Right?”

When there was no reply, Crowley directed a menacing stare and an equally menacing mister at the plant he was talking to. “Right?”

It wobbled slightly in response.

“Ssss.”

Crowley was definitely not nervous, because demons didn’t get nervous, especially not Anthony J. Crowley.[1] And especially not about spending time with someone he had been spending time with for approximately 6000 years. However, he had been hovering in the greenhouse for the last 20 minutes, before which he had been hovering in front of his closet. And the plants were all rather unsettled by the way in which he’d been talking to them, namely, with very little authority and a lot of questions. Most of which he then answered himself, but nevertheless. These were trying times for plants which couldn’t communicate beyond the occasional leaf shudder.

[1] This was a lie. Anthony J. Crowley got nervous every time he jaywalked.

you're in a state of disrepair, you're an answer to my prayers (H50)

heh. well. i've been talking about this one in tags and dms (to people who care about h50) for. a while now. it's currently almost 16k and i'm predicting will probably be 25-30k when it's done which will not be until mid-2023 at the earliest so i will continue seizing any opportunity to ramble about it until then bc it is like a spouse or a neurological infection to me at this point. I've given the basic premise on here before but essentially it's... an unspecified amount of time but probably something like a couple of months post-canon, Steve's still on his Mental Health Trip with Cath when he passes out and gets hospitalised while they try to figure out which of his myriad medical issues caused it. Danny, obviously, flies out bc to quote Steve in it, "When have I ever gone home without you coming to get me?” (although, also to quote Steve later in the same conversation, “I would’ve come home to you anyway.”). They spend basically the entire thing pretending to be a couple in front of the medical staff and pretending not to be a couple in front of friends and family. the latter is much more of a pretense and they're much worse at it. as shown in the two snippets below:

(1)

[...] Danny turns to the nurse, and tells her, “Sorry.” He’s not sure specifically what it’s for, but he’s pretty certain she deserves some sort of apology for having to witness all that.

She smiles and shakes her head. “It’s fine. It seemed to keep his BP steady and lowering, actually.”

“Really?” He doesn’t wait for an answer, just turns back to Steve. “You’re fucked in the head, boy.”

Steve laughs, easy and loose, and pulls Danny closer by the front of his t-shirt. Danny moves with it, because it’s easier than the alternative and also maybe because he wants to be closer, and ends up sitting on the bed next to him. “Yeah,” Steve says, “I’m sure hearing that your partner loves you inevitably raises most people’s blood pressure.”

“That’s not-” Danny says, then gives up before he can even start trying to explain what he meant. Steve knows, anyway, he’s just being difficult. And anything that helps get him through medical crisis number two thousand and three can only be a good thing. “Yeah, okay. If I keep saying it, do you think it will keep bringing it down?”

“Can’t hurt.”

Danny rests his left hand on the back of Steve’s neck, holding him steady, and says, “I love you,” before kissing the top of his head. “I love you,” he repeats, and kisses him again. “I love you.”

(2)

“What’s wrong with your shoulder?”

“Landed on it when I fell,” Steve explains, and wipes the wince from his face like that’ll get Danny to forget about it. “It’s fine, just bruised.”

“Let me see.” He’s already reaching over, so Steve’s faint, “The doctors already looked at it,” falls on, if not deaf, at least uncaring ears. It’s not like he makes any move to stop Danny from pushing the stylish little number that is his hospital gown off the shoulder in question. Everyone here’s seen it all already.

He wasn’t kidding about the bruise. It’s spread across the peak of his shoulder, stopping just above his tattoo, and it’s starting to come up purple. Even apart from how painful it looks by itself, it suddenly drives home the fact that Steve had fallen. This wasn’t a staggering collapse kind of a bruise, it was passing out, all the way into unconsciousness.

“They gave me painkillers,” Steve says, and Danny realises he’s skimming his fingers across the edges of it. He pulls his hand back, an apology on his lips, but Steve reaches up and takes hold of his hand before it’s halfway across his chest. “It’s okay,” he tells Danny.

Danny accepts that Steve had heard what he hadn’t actually said yet, and clarifies, “I wasn’t gonna say sorry for wanting to see it. I just thought touching it might have hurt. That’s a motherfucker, Steve.”

“Yeah, I think that was what the doctor put in the file. ‘During bout of syncope, patient sustained a motherfucker.’”

Danny laughs, and Steve smiles at him, muted and warm and satisfied, and lets go of his hand.

When Danny looks away from Steve’s smile, Cath is watching them with an odd expression.

“What?” Danny asks.

She shakes her head. “Nothing. I heard you’ve been living in Steve’s house.”

send me a wip name and i'll tell you things about it/present a snippet! show and tell!

#Hawaii Five 0 #Good Omens #Ineffable Husbands #McDanno #state of disrepair #my writing #babe should i make your tag a strawberry emoji i feel like i should make your tag a strawberry emoji #🍓#mine

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niennawept · 2 years

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TAG GAME

Because I’m tired of the same one going around but I really like them! Feel free to chain this one or not, up to you!

tagged by the lovely @elithilanor!

Favorite book series:

Hmmm series... I'm gonna go with Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson. It's not finished yet, but the man writes super fast and I'm a sucker for outrageously huge fantasy realms with really deep world-building for cultural and political systems (I mean, hence why I love Tolkien).

Favorite stand-alone book:

Circe by Madeline Miller. No, I will never stop gushing about it. I love her prose and I love her interpretation of myths and I love the protagonist.

Which movie did it better than the book:

The Princess Bride. I love both, but the film is better.

Pick: Times New Roman or Arial font

Arial, because it's better suited to how most people read these days. Times is designed for narrow newspaper columns and I find it hard on the eyes for a wider-formatted text.

Florence and the Machine or Hozier?

My love versus my other love? Rude. I'm gonna have to give this one to Florence and the Machine though. There's more variety of mood, so I get upbeat songs and rip-out your heart ones in more equal measure.

Do you prefer handwritten or typing?

Typing, if only because my left wrist has a repetitive stress injury and is my dominant hand. At least typing distributes the work. That being said, I remember things better if I physically write them out and I've been practicing tengwar so *shrug*

Favorite month of the year?

October. It's been my favorite month since I realized as a three-year old that it was the month that contains Halloween. Have always been a little bit spooky.

Song on repeat this week?

Fair by The Amazing Devil. It's got serious ~vibes~ for my long-fic WIP. Or it would in a modern AU, I guess.

Pick one: Cats or dogs?

If I must choose, dogs. But you must understand that this is a very near thing. I love both, but I am only allergic to cats (not that that's stopped me before).

Hot drinks or cold drinks for the rest of your life?

Can't drink hot drinks in the summertime here. Regularly gets to 100F/37.8C. Nope, cold drinks forever (sorry throat when I'm sick).

Bonus: favorite book as a child (0-12)

I'm gonna go with The Hobbit, because it was consistently my favorite since I was eight and I don't remember the books I read before it very well.

Extra bonus: when was the last time you went to your local library? (Digitally or in person?)

Couple of weeks ago to return some books. I did not check out any new ones because I got a haul of Legendarium books for my birthday.

No pressure tags: @dwarveslikeshinythings, @brynnmclean, @thenookienostradamus, @astro-gnome

#tag game #this was so fun #thank you for the tag friend!

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sissytobitch10seconds · 1 year

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All the Fear and Fire, Of the End of the World

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy Summary: As if living in an apocalyptic wasteland while desperately trying to get back to their family to stop them from dying isn't enough, the universe decides to surprise them with even more push to get back to their own time. Warnings: Pregnant trans character, malnutrition, mentions/discussions of abortion, and canon typical child abuse Word Count: 7,368 Ship(s): Five Hargreeves/Viktor Hargreeves

Archive link!

A/N: So I heard this song one too many times when I was listening through the entire Hozier discography and then I couldn't get this fanfiction out of my head. I decided that I didn't want to split it into a chaptered fic since it takes me forever to upload them and I didn't want it to be another one of my 30k oneshots since those seem really daunting for people to read, so I decided to split it up into a series. Please pay attention to the tags and the warnings hidden inside there, this fic is a little bit dark! Thank you all so much for giving this fic a chance and reading. Stay sissy and bitchy everyone <3

Almost five years ago, about three months after their fifteenth birthday, Five had decided that it was imperative that they try out his time traveling abilities. He had been reprimanded, punished, and even sedated by their father to try and stop him from doing so but that had only driven him to wanting to do it more than even his insatiably curiosity for knowledge. They had slipped away in the middle of the night in between the routine checks that Grace did to make sure that her wards weren’t doing exactly what they were in the process of doing.

Viktor had more free time during the day, so he had been able to pack them a bag with several fluffernutter sandwiches and an apple for each of them. He knew how exhausted his partner got after he did any kind of rigorous exercise, so he made sure that he was going to be able to take care of him.

They had stolen away into the night until they were in front of the Academy. Five bent time and space around them as they walked until they stepped a little bit too far. It had been fun up until them, the change in weather and the locations of the passers-by exhilarating in a way that was nearly indescribable. The seconds that followed after they stepped out of the last wormhole that Five had been able to create were crushing.

They were children, fifteen years old and sheltered from the world in a way that few ever were. They were standing outside of the theater that Viktor had always dreamed of playing in, watching as the ash and soot fell down from the sky and onto the stones of what had once been the world.

Something had happened, something that neither of them had been able to figure out in the years that they had spent in the wasteland. They knew that there had been a massive disaster that resulted in every animal other than the most hearty of mice and, of course, cockroaches, hadn’t been able to survive. They had found the adult bodies of their siblings, mutilated and twisted from what they had remembered seeing earlier that day before they went to bed.

The next several days after they arrived in the wasteland had consisted of them burying their siblings and then trying to get a shelter set up for themselves. They had done it, and begun cultivating it so that they had somewhere at least a little bit pleasant to live while they were trying to get back to their family.

Then had come the revelation of Viktor’s powers, and a couple of weeks after that his gender. When he had packed the bag so that they could leave the house together, he had enough of his pills that they were able to ween him off of them slowly in fear that going cold turkey- if they weren’t able to go home in time- would result in something bad happening. They had been able to figure out his powers fairly quickly and Five had divided his time between researching through old textbooks they found from a ruined university on the outskirts of town and helping Viktor figure out how to use his powers.

They had settled on mostly just letting him use his excess energy on bringing storms that helped them grow a small garden. The garden was the only thing that kept them well fed enough to live throughout their half decade in the wasteland, even if it wasn’t giving them all the nutrients that they needed to live.

Despite the lack of the moon in the sky, the sun still turned around the earth. The nights were darker than both of them remembered them being, but there was very little still alive in the world that could hurt them, so they didn’t mind.

Viktor was sitting on the edge of their little shack as he watched the dark sky around them begin to brighten into purple and pink hues while the sun peaked over the edge of the skyline. He loved early morning like this and he had ever since they were kids. He had liked it more when he could hear the world coming to life after being asleep the entire night, like the sounds of car horns in the distance and the creaking of his sibling’s floors as they began to wake up as well.

He turned his head up towards the sky, wishing for once that the sky would begin to collect stormy black and gray clouds on its own. He had been a lot more tired recently and he couldn’t help but wonder if it was because his constant use of his powers was beginning to catch up to him.

The door opened behind him as Five exited and walked over to his partner. “How are you feeling this morning, beloved?” he asked, his hand dropping down onto Viktor’s shoulder as he moved into a sitting position.

Viktor reached over and grasped the other man’s hand to bring it up to his lips. It was no surprise to either of them that they had fallen into a romantic and sexual relationship with each other. They had been the closest out of all the siblings when they left and they were the only one that the other could rely on when they were out here. That being said, Viktor knew that he would choose Five again and again even if there were other options. His heart was made for Five and his soul had the other man branded on top of it.

“I’m doing alright. Still tired,” he sighed. He had a bout of sickness a week ago and they had both been very cautious since then, worried that it would turn into something more. No matter how many times that Viktor reassured Five that it had only been once and he had felt immediately better after vomiting, Five still fretted and worried about him at every turn.

“Take it easy today. We only need a small storm to water the garden,” Five said lightly as he pressed a kiss to Viktor’s shoulder. It was placed directly over the bony ridge where his collarbone met his arm, one of Viktor’s favorite places because it was so close to an erogenous zone and yet also so far away.

They were both fairly malnourished and thin since they hadn’t been able to have a varied diet in almost half a decade. They subsisted mostly off of seasonal berries, root vegetables, and mushrooms as well as the occasional cockroach and canned good that they were able to scrounge up from around the ruins. They were doing better than they would be had Viktor not been able to figure out how to make rain in their almost stagnant world, but it was still a difficult life to lead.

“Are you studying or going into town today?” Viktor asked as he leaned further back into the secure warmth of his partner. He reached behind him with one hand so that he could thread his fingers together with Five’s in a display of intimacy they had shared even before they had come here. He wished that he was able to feel the weight of cool metal against his hand when they did this, that he could hear rings clinking together when they held hands while walking around the rubble of their city. They had been unable to finds something as small as a wedding ring when they got married at eighteen, and even when they did find small bits of jewelry there was too big a chance that it had belonged to someone else and they could be sullying the memory of the dead.

Five hummed for a moment as he thought about it. “I think I’m going to try studying today. We’re running low on canned goods but it’s something that can wait until tomorrow. I want to spend some time with you today as well,” he smiled gently and placed a kiss on the side of Viktor’s face.

The other man giggled and moved his head back so that he was leaning up against Five’s shoulder more than he had before. They had their issues, it wasn’t easy completely relying on another person while knowing that they were technically the reason that they were trapped in the desolate wasteland. While they had struggled at some points in their relationship and marriage, neither of them could imagine what their lives would be like without the other in it.

They stayed on the porch for a while longer as the sun continued to drift over the skyline until it was blazing through the dust-filled sky and down onto the ash-covered earth that they had found themselves in. As soon as he realized that he couldn’t waste any more time within the arms of his lover, Five got up to make them some breakfast with the fixings that they had left over from their last supply run and some fruit from their garden.

Viktor rose and drifted back into the little house that they were living in. While they tried to stay away from the places where a lot of people had been laid to rest under rubble and homes of strangers, they had come across a shack that had been abandoned years before they found it. They figured that it wasn’t the kind of place that would be disrespecting any past lives if they used it as their home. So they fixed up the window and the roof with some boards that they were able to make out of a tree from the park nearby and had been using it as their homebase ever since. They had a mattress big enough for the two of them in one corner with as much bedding as they had been able to find so that they would be comfortable. Against the wall adjacent to the door was all of the supplies that they needed and wanted to keep safe, including the rifle that Five insisted on carrying around with him whenever he went into The City despite them never having come across another living thing since they got there.

Carefully, Viktor removed his sleep shirt and folded it neatly. He placed it inside of a pillowcase and then did the same with his sleep shorts. He ignored the way that his chest ached when the fabric slid across it, figuring that it was because he had done away with bras a little while ago. For some reason, the supportive garment had been bothering him and making his already small breasts hurt. No one was out there to see them, so he figured that it would just be for the best to not worry about it.

He pulled on another shirt so that the cold air would stop pebbling his nipples, an uncomfortable sensation only because of the aforementioned sensitivity. He had stopped caring about the shape his body came in not long after he discovered that he was a boy and got Five to change the name and pronouns he used for him. There was no way that he could medically transition in the wasteland and he didn’t really feel any different than any other man because there was no one to compare himself to.

Viktor let a small smile fall over his face as he could hear his husband bustling around in the garden next to their house. That was the main thing that they wanted to protect, always worried about huge storms that might come and take away the crop of food that was helping to keep them alive. They were both gaunt with malnutrition, but it would have been far worse had they not had some amount of fresh food to eat. With their garden they didn’t have to worry about scurvy, rickets, or any other such diseases. It was one less thing that they had to deal with in their quest to get back home.

He dragged out a pair of relatively clean pants and then pulled them up over his legs. He paused when he got up to the waistband, desperately trying to tug the two sides shut so that he could continue on his way. While he didn’t have a lot to do today, he wanted to get it done as quickly as possible so that he could serve as a soundboard for Five’s ideas.

He released both sides of his pants around the button and zipper for a moment before he grabbed them again. Viktor tugged on the fabric a little bit harder to try and bring it closed over his lower stomach and hips. They fit fine when he was dressed in them last week, so he couldn’t figure out why he was struggling so much with it now.

The door to the hovel opened up as Five walked in with a plate of food for them to enjoy that morning before the daily chores took over their life. “Beloved, is everything alright? You’re not finished getting dressed yet,” Five noted as he placed the plate down on the edge of the crate that served as their table.

“My pants don’t fit anymore,” he groused as he turned around to show his lover the almost comical attempted stretch of the denim across his hips.

“Maybe they shrank in the wash?” Five asked. He shooed his lover’s hands away from the fabric and then tugged the two parts together himself. It caused Viktor to be lifted a little bit off the ground and into his husband, which made him giggle.

“I hate to break it to you, love, but I don’t think that’s possible anymore. We wash all of our clothes so rarely and in such a specific way that I’m not sure that they can shrink. I think it has something to do with me,” Viktor explained. They collected some rainwater and then spot-washed their clothing to keep from feeling disgusting while still having a healthy amount of water for other things.

Five took a small step back and then looked his partner up and down. Viktor could feel the places that his eyes were lingering, specifically over where the skin stretched between his hips and his ribcage, as well as the ridges that lay just above there. His collarbone and shoulders were next, as well as his wrists and hands. “I don’t think it’s possible for you to have gained any weight, my dear. We just don’t have enough variety in our diet or food in the garden for either of us to be up to a healthy weight.”

Viktor shifted a bit uncomfortably. Their weight and health was one of his least favorite topics because it was the one that seemed the most grim. They had been fighting to get back to the time that they had originally come from, but it was slow going because they had to figure out so many things to keep them alive. The longer that they stayed in the wasteland the more likely they were to die from breathing in the hazardous ash from the rubble, but to get back home they had to stay there for longer so that they could safely figure it out. They were playing a very dangerous game and both outlooks were poor, but it was the only thing that they couldn’t just stop doing.

“It’s going to be okay,” Five promised as he brushed his fingertips over the side of Viktor’s head. “We’ll figure out what’s going on and then you’ll be okay.”

“God, Five, this whole thing is so scary sometimes,” he felt like crying. Viktor had done a lot of work in the last half decade while trying to figure out how to have emotions now that he was off of his medication, but it was difficult sometimes. Five had grown accustomed to his emotional outbursts when he was closer to his cycle and his huge meltdowns that resulted in massive power spikes. It was another reason that they were good for each other in a way that others might not be.

“Wait,” Viktor whispered as a thought finally stuck to his sadness-riddled mind. “Five, I don’t think I’ve had a period in the last couple of months.”

“Okay, that’s not unusual though,” Five stated. He glanced towards the calendar as well, where they usually kept information like that. It was a piece of paper that Viktor had carefully written all of the dates on so that they could keep track of how long that they had been in the post-apocalypse.

He was right about saying that Viktor’s menstrual cycles didn’t come regularly. He would have a very aggressive, painful, and messy period every six months or whenever his body deemed that it was healthy enough to restart the process. That was what his first ever period had been like so whenever he had enough nutrients in his body to create uterine lining and release an ova, it was like he had been shunted back to the beginning of puberty again. Them getting enough food for that to happen was so rare that he had stopped counting down the days until his next planned cycle and instead just waited for his body to start showing the warning signs, something that he had become very familiar with since they had come here.

“Do you remember a couple of days ago when I got sick? And now my pants don’t fit and I haven’t had a cycle in months,” Viktor said. He was too scared to say his suspicion out loud so he was beating around the bush in the hopes that his husband would pick up on it himself.

“I don’t follow. Do you think that you have a parasite?” he asked, his brows furrowing together with worry and confusion. It was adorable that he was that oblivious, especially with the massive amounts of intellect that he possessed, but right now Viktor was too stressed to think about how much he loved his husband.

“We don’t use protection, Five,” he whispered the words so quietly he wasn’t sure his husband would be able to hear them. Because of his varied menstrual cycles as well as their isolation, neither of them had ever thought too hard about the fact that they stopped being able to find condoms a mere month after they got together. It wasn’t like they had to protect themselves from STIs, and they figured that when they didn’t want to have to deal with the mess that came with cum, Viktor just swallowed. Something like this had never crossed their minds, so they had never looked too hard for contraceptives.

Five seemed to realize the same thing that Viktor had. The color drained from his face as he slowly sunk down so that he was sitting on the bed. Viktor turned and sat down beside him, reaching out so that their fingers were interwoven as a show that they were both still there and breathing. This was something scary, maybe even more so than being stuck post-apocalypse because of one poorly done math problem.

“But… how?” Five asked as he turned to face his husband. There was no anger in his tone, just fear and wonder and absolutely unadulterated confusion. Five hated not knowing things, he had their entire lives. He had always asked the most questions out of all their siblings so that he could make sure he fully grasped all the details on a topic. Their siblings had found it annoying, but Viktor had found it endearing.

“Well, Five, when two people decide that they need to have se-” Viktor started, a grin pulling at his face. The situation may have just turned even more grim than either of them thought was possible, but he still had to bring some humor to the moment. It was the way that they had survived in the wasteland for so long, if either of them got too serious then it was the unofficial job of the other to bring some levity.

He groaned and flopped back onto their bed. He reached out and grabbed his husband so that they were both laying flat against the pile of pillows and blankets, their hands still holding onto the other like they were going to disappear. “I know how babies are made but your body shouldn’t be healthy enough to sustain a pregnancy.”

Viktor felt his heart sink when he was reminded of that. They may have just finished talking about the weird way that his cycles were now that he wasn’t getting enough nutrients to be properly balanced, but it was another thing to realize that he either lost several pregnancies before this one or that this pregnancy wouldn’t last because he wouldn’t be able to care for it properly. Even if he managed to make it to term and deliver a semi-healthy baby, there was no way that he was going to be able to get enough food to make milk so that they could help their child live. This was a doomed endeavor, and something that neither of them could do anything about.

“What are we going to do?” Viktor asked softly once the thoughts had finished swirling in his head enough that he could think a little bit more clearly.

“What do you want to do? It’s your body,” Five murmured. He turned to the side so that he could brush some of the messily cropped locks away from the front of his lover’s face.

“Regardless of what we want to do, we have to get back home. There’s not a single aborteretic out there that I would put into my body on purpose. Everything that we’ve found that isn’t a touchy medicine like that is expired or corrupted so that’s just not a very good idea,” Viktor shook his head. He didn’t really like the idea of having an abortion, but he knew that there was very little chance that the baby he was carrying was healthy. For all he knew the bundle of cells had already stopped multiplying and his body simply hadn’t expelled it yet.

He wished, desperately, that this had happened when they were back home. They would have had to suffer three extra years at the very least under the watchful eye of their father, but then they could have been released to the world. He was sure that he would have gotten off of his medication eventually and discovered who he really was. He and Five could be married under the eyes of the law and their family instead of just saying that they were husbands because they preferred to think of themselves as bound in a more meaningful way than being the last people alive on earth.

If they were back home, in the time when they belonged, then he could have gotten pregnant in a planned manner. He and Five could have had the excitement of taking pregnancy tests and nervously waiting for the results instead of figuring it out because it was the only explanation. He could have check ups with a doctor that could reassure them that the baby was healthy and could show them pictures of the unborn fetus as well as play the heartbeat for them. If he had been back home when he had gotten pregnant then he wouldn’t be wasting away with the now very likely chance that he was a skipped meal away from miscarrying and his unborn babe would most likely die.

Five sat up on the bed enough that he could lean over so that Viktor was looking at him without having to turn his head. “I’m going to get us home, Viktor. I promised that I would and I’m not going to break that promise. I’ll do it before anything bad can happen to either of you,” he was deadly serious as he spoke. His hand moved to Viktor’s stomach where the hard stretch of his baby bump was formed over his hips.

That was enough to really start the waterworks from the pregnant man. Tears streaked down his face as he placed his own hand over the top of Five’s, as if that would somehow protect their unborn child from the harsh reality of living as they did.

---

Their schedule changed after Viktor’s revelation, but it would have regardless of the time or place that they were living. Five had to spend more time studying and working on the equations that would bring them backwards through time to a place where they were safe, which meant that Viktor was picking up the slack in the other places. While Five’s job had primarily been to work on getting them back home, he had still helped with things like going into the remains of The City to search for the supplies that they needed. Now that he was pouring all of his time and energy into the math, that had been passed down to Viktor.

He hated it, but he knew that it was necessary. He wanted nothing more than to spend lazy mornings with his husband on the rare days when they were both just planning on doing things around their home. Over the past two months that they had been trying to speed up the process they had none of those. Five stayed up very late into the night and Viktor was always tired, so that latter went to bed early and woke up after Five had already returned to his work. It was almost like he was alone again, but he also couldn’t bring himself to hold that against his husband.

Five was working very hard to make sure that Viktor was in a safe place to bring their child into the world.

That by itself was enough to give Viktor a little bit of hope about their growing family. If Five managed to get them back to the world before the apocalypse then there was a small chance that if the fetus was still alive, which he suspected it was based on the way his stomach kept swelling, that he could have a viable baby. Which meant that they could actually live out their dream of being a family.

Neither of them were willing to think about how far into the future they had traveled and whether or not they would have to fight away an apocalypse to keep that dream from ending in another half decade.

Whenever Viktor thought about that, he had to remind himself that they were taking everything one step and one day at a time. If they did it too quickly then they would both get overwhelmed and stuck before they even started. That might have been part of the reason it had taken them so long to get to where they were before the pregnancy happened.

He had just finished a run into town when he came back to the hovel that they called their home and saw that Five was sitting outside. His legs were caked with dust and he was staring up at the spot in the sky where the moon should have been. It was something that he had done often, usually at night, after they first arrived.

Viktor tugged down the mask that he wore whenever he was scavenging things in The City. Most of the desolate rubble was covered in a thick layer of dust and ash from when the fires had been raining out of the sky. When they had first arrived they were in the middle of it. After they had recovered from the shock of watching huge flakes of what used to be homes and buildings, they realized that the stuff was coating their lungs. They had both gotten fairly sick from it until they figured out that they could fashion face masks out of some of the clothes that they could in a nearby department store to prevent themselves from breathing it in. It was even more important for Viktor now that he had the life inside of him to protect as well as his own.

“Is everything okay, love?” he asked as he crossed the space between them. He released the backpack from where it had been hanging off of his shoulders so that it fell down to the dusty ground outside of their home harmlessly. All of the cans inside were wrapped up with fabric in a way that would prevent them from cutting into each other or bursting. It had taken a lot of trial and error, but they had both gotten quite good at figuring out how to handle living in the time that they were.

Five shifted so that he was sitting with his arms propping him up. His face was a mix of emotions that Viktor wasn’t able to decipher upon the first glance. His brows were furrowed together but there was a sparkle in his eyes, the kind that he only got when he had a breakthrough. His mouth was pulled into a tight line, his lips pursed as he thought about what he was going to say.

While he was mulling over whatever it was, Viktor moved so that he was sitting down beside his husband. He pulled his legs up so that they were crossed in a way that would support the ache in his hips and his quickly growing stomach. One of his hands brushed over the top of it, running all the way down until it rested on the bottom crest where the majority of the weight was. Neither of them had been around pregnant people before, so it was a surprise to both of them that his belly was more teardrop shaped that the classic half-circle they had seen in movies and read about in books.

“I figured out how to get us home, Viktor,” Five informed him in a quiet tone. It was as if he was whispering a secret that he wanted to keep hidden from the people around them. Only it was only them, and Viktor knew that there was more hiding behind his teeth.

“What’s the catch?” he asked. The only reason that the news that they finally had a way home wouldn’t come with a myriad of kisses and his husband spinning him around in a circle was if there was something more to it than just Five using his power. Viktor had prepared himself for this eventuality, just in case it came to fruition, but he couldn’t help but feel a spike of disappointment that he had been at least somewhat right.

Five sighed. He sat up properly and then ran a hand through his hair. While he was thinking about how to phrase what he had to say next, he shuffled closer to his husband. He placed both of his hands over the top of the other man’s baby bump, as if that would be able to protect the child from the seriousness of their situation. “I did all of the calculations about how to send us back in time to where we’ll be safe, and it’s going to take more energy than I have. Maybe if I had bulked up or even had access to a lot of caffeine I could swing it, but there’s no way that I’m going to be able to do it in the state that I’m in,” he explained.

It felt like that caused the world to come crashing down around him all over again. He didn’t know how he was supposed to deal with obstacle after obstacle when what they wanted was so closely, tangibly in front of them. He leaned forward so that his forehead was pressed to Five’s and they were almost interwoven, heart and soul. Viktor pursed his lips and tried not to cry as he felt his husband’s thumb grazing over the top of his bump, where their child was currently being kept alive by the skin of their teeth.

“What if…” he trailed off, unsure that the idea wouldn’t sound completely ridiculous once it was hanging out in the open air between them. He pulled back so that they were looking at each other and then said, “What if I gave you some of my energy? My ability is to turn sounds into energy, which is how I can make the storms, so hypothetically I should be able to funnel some of that into you so that you have enough juice to get us home.”

“What about the baby?” Five asked, his brows furrowing together even more than they had before, not that Viktor had originally thought that was possible. The smaller of the two superpowered men let out a small sigh. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the center of his husband’s forehead to ease some of the tension there.

He shifted on the ground so that he was sitting in Five’s lap with his legs wrapped around the other man’s waist. In that position, their baby was huddled between the two of them in the closest way that they could be in utero. “Five, you know that there’s a chance this pregnancy isn’t even viable. We have no idea if there’s something wrong or if there’s even a good heartbeat.”

“You could check,” he whispered as he brought his hand up to cup his husband’s face. “You know how.”

“I…” They hadn’t talk about that, not in their scramble to get back to a place where they could raise their potential family safely. Viktor had the ability to hear inside of his own body and had even used his powers to get them out of a collapsed building when they were seventeen because he had been able to hear his own heartbeat. It was something that took a lot of concentration, which meant that he couldn’t do it on accident. He hadn’t tested to see if he could do it on the growing baby because he was too afraid of what the answer could be. Knowing for certain that his baby was dead would do too much to him and he would become useless to Five, so much so that they would never get home. He didn’t want to deal with that kind of grief until he absolutely had to.

Five seemed to pick up on this relatively quickly, which was a massive relief. He really didn’t want to explain the thoughts that he had been having over the last two months since they had figured out that he was pregnant. He knew that he was going to have to tell his husband eventually, but for now the only thing that he could do was deal with each thought on his own as they came to him.

They thought about it for a moment, the silence of the world around them both comforting and eerie in a way that neither of them had ever truly gotten used to. Finally, Five gave a small nod of his head, “Alright. We can try it. Because if it works and we both get back to 2010 where we belong then there’s a chance that we’ll get to be the family that we always wanted to.”

It was reassuring to the pregnant man to know that his husband was also clinging to the whispered fantasies that they had shared back when they were thirteen. It felt like that had been eons ago, even if they still cuddled under a shared blanket and whispered words only meant for one other person years later.

“We’ll try it,” Viktor beamed. He brought both of his hands up so that he was holding Five’s face and then gave him an adoring kiss on the lips. He couldn’t ignore the sprig of hope that had taken root in his chest like it was going to live there until the end of time. He never wanted it to be plucked, he wanted to continue to believe that the world would have a place where they could live without fear waiting for them somewhere.

Slowly, he detached himself from his husband and rose to his feet. It might have been because he had barely any weight anywhere on his body, but the action of standing with his newly developing baby bump made him sway slightly. Five was on his feet and holding both of his husband’s elbows to help steady him in an instant. They gave each other a private, dorky smile as they found themselves upright but still staring directly at the other.

Before they could begin the process of really getting back home, they had to pack a bag of necessities just in case they ended up in another place that they weren’t supposed to be. Viktor had a backpack full of canned goods and some of the vegetables that they had grown in their garden as well as several bottles of good drinking water and one of wine. Five’s bag was lighter since he would be doing the heavy lifting during this part. They had packed their day clothes for the next day as well as some sleep necessities like their blankets. He was also the one to have the first aide kit so that it wouldn’t get damaged by anything that Viktor was carrying.

They walked away from their home to the clearing that Viktor had used to practice when he was first trying to figure out his powers. They stood across from each other in the center of it, facing one another. Slowly, Five took the necessary step forward so that Viktor was able to grasp his hands and try the energy transfer that they had been talking about.

Once their fingers were intertwined so that there wasn’t a way for them to be easily separated should Viktor’s powers go rogue, the pregnant man activated his abilities. He felt the star that lay underneath his heart come to life so that the air around them stood still with how heavy it was. The molecules and remaining ash in the air sparkled and shimmered as he focused on turning the sound of Five’s breathing into energy. He then directed it so that it was funneling directly into his husband’s chest so that they were connected in a line of white-blue light.

Five let out a little gasp when he felt the pure, unadulterated energy being funneled into his system. It was like his abilities were being sent into overdrive and he was going to have to burn some of the excess power. As soon as that feeling had almost consumed him, he activated his own powers. It pained him to have to put the thoughts of his lover and unborn child out of his mind, but he knew that it was necessary.

He let out a small grunt as he focused only on the equations that had overwhelmed his entire consciousness. He had worked for half a decade on this, he had let it consume every moment of every day so that he could get his family back to where it belonged. He wasn’t going to let it go now.

He felt the space-time continuum warping around them like it did every single time that he used his powers. He pulled it so that they were whirling back in time, something that made his muscles ache with the force of it. His mind processed every single day that ticked backwards. He could feel the overwhelming rush of emotions that came with reliving the half decade that it took them to figure out how to get back. He then assessed the fifteen years between when they had jumped and when they had been dumped into the apocalypse. Finally, he found the day that they existed with their current age so that they’d be reunited with the proper timeline.

He then pushed them around The City so that they were back where they had come from. He was less precise with this than he had been with the time, only making sure that they were back at the Academy where he knew there would be someone that could help them.

Finally, he was able to let it all go and they were both back where they should have been. Every single one of his muscles was screaming in pain and his nerves spread fire and ice throughout his entire soul at the same time. He didn’t know that it was possible to feel like this, as though his entire body was coming apart.

Five barely knew what was going on as he felt his feet touch the wet ground of the April dewey grass in the back of the Academy. His eyes rolled back into his head and his body collapsed forward. The last thing that he heard was someone screaming his name and his face falling into the soft mud of the training grounds that Reginald had formed in the back of the building.

Viktor had been focusing on turning the small amounts of sound into the power that Five was relying on to send them back where they belonged. As soon as his lover stopped using his power, he released his own. The excess energy flared out into the world so that it began to gather the water in the air and turn it into rain. This storm was so much bigger and more aggressive than the ones from the last half decade had been because there was already some amount of energy in the air.

He whimpered as he felt the exhaustion begin to sag at his body. He had already been far more tired than he had been in a long time because of the pregnancy, but funneling that much of his power into his husband had drained him from everything. Being whirled through time and space also mande him feel sick, so he turned to the side and vomited aggressively onto the damp grass while Five fell away from him.

The door to the kitchen opened and the two people that had really served as their parents poured from the house. “Number Five?” Pogo called when he saw the one person that he was able to easily identify. Five hadn’t changed all that much from when they left. His face was gaunt and his body slim because of their lack of food, but he had already been losing his baby fat when they were fifteen. He had kept his hair in the same style because it was easy to maintain and for Viktor to cut. He had also been the one using his powers when they arrived.

Viktor looked a lot different than he had when they left, mostly because he was presenting himself as male instead of aggressively feminine thanks to the nature of the uniforms they had been stuffed in their entire childhoods. Now he had short hair that Five had cut himself and he had grown into a bit of a boyish frame because puberty had been awkward to go through while also starving.

It wasn’t long before one of his parental figures identified who he was, though. Grace had been programmed to watch over her children and help them to the best of her ability, so that of course meant that she was able to figure out who there were after a few seconds. “Vanya? Dear, what happened?” she asked.

She quickly hurried outside alongside Pogo, both of them ignoring the way that the rain was pouring down from the sky and soaking into the earth. Viktor ignored the way that he was wavering back and forth from exhaustion as he tilted his head up towards the sky. The raindrops fell onto his hair and face, running down the heated skin and dripping down onto the ground. It had been so long since he had felt the rain on his skin like this, since he had been drenched by a storm so powerful that it soaked him down to his bones.

The last thing that he remembered was tilting slowly, slowly backwards until he was cushioned by a pair of arms and all he could feel was the tiny icicles of rain hitting his face.

#fanfiction #fanfic #writing #ao3 #archive of our own #tua #the umbrella academy #fiktor #fiktor fanfiction #viktor hargreeves #five hargreeves #pregnant viktor #all the fear and fire of the end of the world fic #oneshot #wasteland baby (i'm in love with you) series

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kyberblade · 2 years

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Hi bestie! It’s officially your birth month 🥳 (it’s super cool that you get the spooky month as your birth month, I’m incredibly jealous) and you did ask for people to talk about songs or just our fave idiots in love which I’m more than happy to oblige.

First on song recs (I haven’t gotten around to looking at the playlist yet, I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll give it a look but I’m actually typing this while on a break from crocheting an entire cardigan as a present for my friend’s birthday and it’s eating up all my free time. Plz send bandaids for my fingers 😵‍💫) but Like Real People Do by Hozier screams the cute dummies so well I’m my head. It’s just so dreamy and sweet and ugh I have to link one of my favorite songs to my kiddos. Also, This Side of Paradise by Coyote Theory is definitely something I hear and go “it’s tHEM” so yeah ☺️ (honorable mention to one of my most played songs of the year Simple Things by Ziggy Alberts but it’s not completely perfect. I just love it and I’m a sucker for cute love songs and thinking of ideas to do with my ships even if they exist only in a fic)

And I could talk about the big dumb idiots (I love them so much-) all day without pause. I think about them a lot ngl especially when I’d rather be reading on tumblr than doing other things. I genuinely get excited when I get notifications for your account. I’m fairly softhearted so they really fuel my serotonin with all the fluff. I actually started reading the series way before I got into anything in the Star Wars franchise (I legit just watched my first Star Wars movie a couple weeks ago. My nerd parents have been disappointed by me for the past 22 years oops-) because it was in my recommended on my main page and it looked promising so I gave it a shot. I love the relationships and chemistry you’ve given them and I fall into the headspace of actually having a Mando in my life while reading (I seriously wish I did, I mean look at him) and while I’m not a fan of kids, my heart just melts at the sight of Grogu so them coparenting him makes me smile until my cheeks hurt. I swear it’s so cute and sweet, I can’t handle it.

I adore you and you’re such a joy to talk to, you’re probably the nicest person I’ve met online and I enjoy our convos so much. Happy birth month, I hope every day is filled to the brim with only the best things and ideas and vibes! You deserve it 💛

🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 <—- Okay, but no really, this is the face I was making while reading this.

Thank you! Oh man, I’m not all into the spooky part, but I absolutely love Fall, it’s my favorite season I think.

Absolutely no problem that you haven’t listened to it, I haven’t even linked the second one yet. Oh my gosh, I would send you all the bandaids! I can crochet a rope, and that’s it! 😆😂🤣 I’m jealous…. 👀

Oh my gosh, I LOVE all those songs, I’ll add them! Simple Things is 🤌🏻👌🏻 because it makes me think of how all the reader really wanted (and is fascinated by) is stuff on various planets, like the ocean, and all Din wants is to make that happen, to make her smile, because it makes his day a little brighter when she does. Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!! Perfect song is perfect. (I almost exclusively think, “How could I fic this?” when I hear songs lol! So I get it.)

You say the nicest things…. ☺️😊 Thank you, and I’m glad you are enjoying my idiots as much as I am. And I’m honored to be your SW intro. It’s a blaster shot right to my nerd heart that became obsessed with SW when I think I was 12 if not younger. Which movie did you see? (I was on your recommended page??? 👀 👀 👀 👀) You’re the second person to say that I’ve made them look at Din differently, and Grogu, and that makes my writers heart so extremely full and happy. 😁😄

Thank you! 🥹🥹

Again, this is honestly one of the nicest messages I think I have gotten in my many years on this hell site, and I completely screamed and flailed and just stared at my phone when I read it. Thank you for making my day, and I hope the rest of yours is utter fantasticness. (It’s a word. Because I said so. There.)

#i said something #back to you #sometimes people talk to me #my bday month #how do i encounter such amazing people

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crisishauntline · 1 year

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I think she finally heard me.

After spending all day processing on my own and with my therapist, M, Y, and my mom—while also checking in multiple times with L over the phone—I finally came to the conclusion that this shit has to end. I have been expressing my needs this whole time, and she can’t meet them. She is not a bad person but we’re not the right people for each other. And no matter how deeply I love her, or how deeply she thinks she loves me, she can’t force or blackmail me to be with her at my own expense.

So I told her that. Everything in my post from yesterday, everything I realized while processing with others about how she has been truly manipulative, narcissistic, and cruel—even though she doesn’t mean it. Intent does not equal impact. When I pointed out how my boundaries (therapist, drinking, personal space/time) have remained unchanged since the beginning and yet have to constantly be renegotiated and adjusted and apologized for each time they come up, while hers are constantly shifting and unsatisfiable, she took a breath. She said the way I explained it made it all just “click.” She said she felt stupid and like she had wasted so much time. And that she didn’t understand why it had been so hard for her to just believe she was loved by me, despite all the ways I have been telling and showing her—and that she finally believed me when I say I cannot physically, emotionally, or spiritually give any more than the 100% I have been giving her, and that it is both fair and necessary for her to find other sources for the support that I can’t give.

The only part I took pains not to say was that I was close to ending things, not because I felt forced to reassure her (or at least not just that), but because I’m still not sure I do. As I told her, I want to see her try. I want to see her healing. I want to see her thriving and whole. But I also need to be free to leave if that doesn’t happen. What she needs is to be chosen, and I can’t give that to her if I’m not free to choose something other than her.

And she understood, I really believe it. She repeated it all back to me and took accountability.

She’s going to take care of herself and give me space until I'm done editing this book. That means I have now through Tuesday to regain my balance and hopefully get this work albatross off my neck. Then she’ll come to my place Wednesday night, we’ll do couples counseling, go to bed, I’ll take her to her surgery in the morning, and then we’ll stay at the AirBnB for the next couple days while she recovers. We’ll figure out where to go from there.

I am cautiously optimistic, but I am trying to temper it by remembering how my loved ones have reacted when I share about this relationship. Today Y even called it emotional abuse. That feels strange. I feel lucky to have so many people looking out for me and ready to throw hands to stop someone from hurting me in the way she has been. But I don’t like the abuser/abuse framing. I don’t want this pattern to define her in that way, even if just in my mind.

All I know is Hozier’s Unreal Unearth is HITTING like no other this week.

#love life #personal #Spotify

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liseenle · 2 years

Text

𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐄

FLUFF and a tiny bit of angst Eddie Munson x reader

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚: Y/n accidentally hears Eddie playing a new song to his friends

A/N: based on Cherry Wine, by Hozier. I imagine the song being a bit more rock or something to be more in tune with Eddie’s taste.

It was Thursday night. Y/n had just finished practice and was making her way through the empty corridors of Hawkins’ high school, to the car park outside.

She turned left, walking slowly as she put her jacket on, already thinking about dinner.

And then she heard it.

Someone was playing the guitar.

“Intriguing” she thought, “why would anyone still be here at school at this hour?”. She cautiously walked towards one of the classrooms on the other end of the corridor, peeking through the small windows on the doors. “Ah! That’s why”. The music she was hearing was coming from Hellfire’s club’s meeting. Y/n knew most of the guys in it, and she knew that they met there sometime every week. What surprised Y/n was the lack of conversation and screaming there usually was, which was now replaced by a soft and seemingly comfortable silence. They were all listening attentively to the music. Y/n moved swiftly next to the door, listening hard. “Okay uhm… the second and last song I will be playing for you is a new one. I need a sincere opinion on it, okay?” Eddie. Y/n didn’t really know him that well. She actually had only started talking to him these last couple of months. But she liked him. Not in that sense (...maybe), but she found that he was an interesting guy, different than what she had expected him to be, different from what everyone else had been saying about him. “Yeah, come on man, let’s hear it”, Dustin’s strong voice echoed all around you. Eddie started to move his fingers on the strings of his guitar. Y/n’s mind instantly fell silent, all of her thoughts disappearing under a feeling of utter disbelief. Eddie had a wonderful voice. Not that she hadn’t already figured that out, but it was really nice listening to him singing. “Her eyes and words are so icy Oh, but she burns Like rum on a fire Hot and fast and angry as she can be I walk my days on a wire […]” Y/n frowned. This song he was singing. This was a song about a girl. But Y/n didn’t like him, she was sure of that… so why was her heart stinging so badly? “[…] Calls of guilty thrown at me all while she stains The sheets of some other Thrown at me so powerfully, Just like she throws With the arm of her brother But I want it It’s a crime She’s not around most of the time […]” It was beautiful. Painfully beautiful. But in some way she was still really happy for him. She wanted for someone to finally notice him, to give him the chance he deserved. And God knows how much he needed to be loved and to love someone back. He was lonely, she had seen it right through him, maybe because she felt so too. She sometimes felt like Eddie was so similar to her. Like he could really get her. But maybe she didn’t have the same effect on him. “[…] Her fight and fury is fiery, oh, but she loves Like sleep to the freezing Sweet and right and merciful, I’m all but washed In the tide of her breathing And it’s worth it, it’s divine […]” Fuck. The lyrics were so… meaningful. Y/n smiled, she already knew how clever Eddie could be with words. She had even imagined him telling her sweet nothings a few times (…every night). The girl he loved would be so lucky, she wasn’t going to need to imagine any of it, because she would have him, right beside her.

“I have this some of the time The way she shows me I’m hers and she’s mine Open hand or closed fist Would be fine The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine” Y/n imagined his beautiful hands moving for last time the strings of the guitar. Silence fell, and then a row of applause. “Is this for her?” asked Gareth “Yeah, is it a love song?” Implied Mike “Does this mean you’ll finally tell her how you feel?” Dustin asked. Y/n could hear Eddie chuckle lightly and she started to think about the little smiles he usually gived her through out the day. That girl must love him back or y/n was really going to have to talk some sense into her. “Yes, I’ll tell Y/n I love her… through this song” he replies, as if it was obvious from the beginning. As if it was obvious that Y/n had been the girl all along. Y/n’s mouth fell open, no, it fell to the ground. She started screaming internally. But she was going to have to wait, until he was ready to tell her, by singing that beautiful, wonderful song.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #stranger things #stranger things x reader #hellfire club #hozier

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sambvcks · 3 years

Text

crawl home to her, b.b. x reader

chapter one // body’s working on empty

summary: bucky isn’t as receptive to this new life of his as everyone had hoped. he’s cold, sharp-tongued, and closed off. except to the tenant across the hallway from him, who always wears pajamas and bakes a dozen too many of his favorite cookies

warnings: food, nothing too bad this chapter!

word count: 1.5k-ish

author’s note: i thought my marvel phase ended five years ago...here we are again. i haven’t written in awhile so please be kind! title and chapter titles taken from hozier’s ‘work song’.

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Five minutes into their first session, Bucky decided he was going to make Dr. Raynor’s job as difficult as he possibly could.

It wouldn’t be an impossible task, seeing how this whole ordeal depended on him opening up and talking, two things that he had abandoned decades ago. Her unwavering stare was nothing more than a challenge, these fifty-minute sessions once a week were nothing more than a slight inconvenience to his lackluster day to day routine. He would play along, do whatever exercises she asked, and feign stability until he never had to see her again.

“Since this is our first session together, we’ll take it easy.” She promised with a forced upturn of her lips before whipping out her notebook.

Suddenly, it felt like he was encased in bulletproof glass in Berlin again. He remembered that the last time he had been forced into receiving psychiatric help, it hadn’t exactly gone to plan. His chin fell to his chest, hands wringing together as he thought of any excuse to request a different doctor.

“Let’s begin.”

It was already getting too hot to wear leather gloves and his heavy jacket. New York’s heatwave was supposed to be the highest on record this year and while kids popped open fire hydrants in the street, Bucky would be settled on the hardwood floor in the back corner of his apartment, waiting.

Waiting for what, he wasn’t quite sure.

It was a fairly nice apartment, newly renovated and practically barren. Government issued and funded, of course, and he had spent the first night pulling the furniture from the walls to the center of the room in search of bugs and cameras. He found thirty-four, destroyed them under a rolling pin, and they hadn’t come to replace them. Message received.

The one thing he really liked about the apartment building were his neighbors. The price tag for a one bedroom was substantial to say the least and only older couples could really afford it. No children, no dogs, no outsiders. The only break from his undisturbed routine would be occasionally helping Mrs. Johnson down the hall carry her groceries as she struggled to get the door unlocked with her brittle hands.

They affectionately called him James and the older women were quick to get a hold of his arms, saying things like “They don’t make them like you anymore, James!”. He swallowed the bile prickling at the back of his throat as he nodded, and they moved on to telling him about their single granddaughters.

It was almost nice, his routine. Almost.

Outside of those small encounters, he spent most of his waking hours jogging in the park and cooking the same three meals. He had his appointment every Wednesday with Dr. Raynor, but that was it. He’d take two trains back to his apartment and wouldn’t emerge again until he needed groceries two days later.

It was when he was returning from one of his biweekly grocery trips, a paper bag settled on his hips, that he spotted you outside his door.

He stilled in the hallway, taking a quick step back to peek around the corner without being spotted. His breath stalled, his ears picking up your soft humming and the crinkle of plastic as you set a bundle of cookies at his doorstep, the only one without a mat. His eyes flicked to the other doors, where identical bags of cookies sat propped up, tied with blood red ribbons.

His shoulders relaxed. No threat.

The bottom of his grocery bag suddenly gave way, fruit rolling in every direction. Bucky fell to his knees, glove clad hands snatching up everything he could reach as quickly as he could manage. You were faster, though, and scooped up a plum that had rolled your way, offering it over as he tried to balance the rest of his groceries in his arms.

“Thanks.” He was quick to sweep past you, hand digging in his pockets for his key.

“James, right? Ms. Robinson downstairs is like, in love with you.”

“Yeah, but, uh-“ Dr. Raynor’s instructions from their last session rang in his head, as much as he tried to tune her out: make connections. “You can call me Bucky.” He cleared his throat. “And Mrs. Robinson is far too good for me.”

“Bucky it is then.” You trailed him down the hallway, “Y/N.”

Bucky tried to sneak a glance at you from the corner of his eyes, which was harder to inconspicuously do now that he had gotten a haircut and couldn’t hide his wandering eyes behind long tresses. Young was Bucky’s first thought. much younger than the other renters in the building. Bright was next, followed by much too smiley for a Tuesday morning.

Pretty, he admitted as he turned his back to unlock his door. Maybe in another life he would have lingered in the hall, his so-called effortless charm seeping through as you swooned at the very thought of a date with James Buchanan Barnes. But that life was long gone, and instead he rushed to retreat.

“Oh, don’t forget these.” You swooped down to collect the bundle of cookies you had left at his door, handing them to the hand that wasn’t delicately balancing the pile of groceries he still held against his impossibly broad shoulders. “Oatmeal raisin, super-secret family recipe.”

He was back in the doorway of his ma’s kitchen, watching his little sister balance on a wobbling stool as she struggled to crack and egg with her little fingers. He can so distinctly see the pale green of the cabinets, remember the fight his parents had when she begged for that shade of green while his dad had wanted white. Of course, she won.

“These are your brother’s favorite.” His ma whispered to his sister; her flour covered hands reaching for the age faded index card with their grandmother’s script detailing the ingredients. “Our family’s recipe. One day, you will make these for your children. And your children’s children.”

Rebecca, still so young and with a hatred for smelly boys deep in her bones, giggled at the mere thought as her fingers fished out the bits of eggshell that snuck their way into the bowl. She wiped it away on the spare apron tied twice around her waist, much too big for her.

Bucky would never see her grow into it. He would be drafted only a few months later.

In the meantime, he would bundle half a dozen of them in a tea towel and split them with Steve on the walk to the movie theater. Steve would begrudgingly admit that Buck’s ma made the best cookies, but his made the best brisket. They’d sneak in through the back door and do it all again the next weekend, until they ran out of weekends together.

“Oatmeal raisin are my favorite.” He admitted, accepting your offering like a stray cat does to the first scrap of food from a stranger.

“I think you’re the only person under the age on one hundred to ever say that.” You teased, backing away to the door adjacent to his, “Anyway, don’t tell me things like that. I’m a stress baker and with finals coming up…” You winced at the image of the dozens of batches you would surely be whipping up in the coming weeks.

“Finals?”

“Law school, one semester left.” You fished your own keys from your back pocket. Bucky barely held in the scoff at the shiny Spider-Man keychain that dangled from your fingers. “You?”

“Oh, no. I haven’t been in school in what feels like…a century.”

“Well, I’m all alone here and as much as I would love to, I can’t eat everything that I bake. So, expect a few dozen muffins and cookies every few days.”

“No arguing from me, doll.”

You both lingered in the small hallway, only a few steps apart, each leaning against your respective doors. Keys in each hand, with no intention of using them any time soon.

“Law school, you said? How do you afford a place like this?” Bucky was sure he was the only recently pardoned fugitive under this room.

“Well, this used to be my grandma’s apartment and it was handed down to me in a maybe no so legal way. If the landlord asks, I’m an eighty-year-old woman who doesn’t know how to work her answering machine.”

He huffed a laugh, mostly because that wasn’t particularly far from how he felt with today’s tech. The flip phone that Dr. Raynor had described as archaic sat heavy in his back pocket with only three names programed into his contacts. Don’t get him started on his television.

“Nice to meet you, Bucky.”

With that, you each stepping into your respective apartments. Bucky stalled at his door for a moment, listening as you locked and dead bolted your door behind you. He sighed, dumping his half-ruined groceries on his barren kitchen island.

The next day, he’d have another appointment with Dr. Raynor. This time when he’d say I’m trying, as he did each week, it wouldn’t be a complete lie. His phone buzzed in his back pocket.

2 New Messages

From: Sam

You coming up this weekend?

Don’t ignore me this time. He’s getting worse, Buck.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x you #marvel imagine #tfatws imagine #crawl home to her #sab writes

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