#only Misha would hang out and make things

[saywhat-78]

This mfr at the con doing arts and crafts side quests.

[winchesterwild78]

Behind the Scenes pt 2

Master List

Minors DNI 18+

Warnings: jealousy, sex scene filming, language, SMUT

A/N: You are newly hired on Supernatural. Your character was supposed to be a one and done but the fans loved you so they wrote you in the story. You were supposed to play Sam’s love interest, but things get complicated when you fall for someone behind the scenes. This is a work of fiction. No disrespect to Jensen or Jared or their families. *kinda a long chapter, just wanted to set up the story*

I edited this fast- please forgive any mistakes

This is my original work, do not take it.

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The next few days were somewhat relaxing. You hung out with Jared, Misha and some of the other cast and crew. Noticeably absent from the get togethers was Jensen. One night Misha joking around said Jensen must be held up at his apartment with his latest flavor of the month. You looked at Jared and he offered you an apologetic look. You smiled softly and turned your head, tears pricking your eyes.

You got up to walk in the kitchen to grab a water and Jared followed you. “Hey Y/N, you okay.” He questioned. You told him what happened the other day before Jensen left and he was just as confused as you were. He sent Jensen a text.

Jared: Hey man. We are all hanging out at Misha’s if you’re around.

Jensen: We might swing by. Not sure yet. I’ll let you know.

Jared: “we” who’s we?

Jensen: Katie. You met her a few months ago. We ran into each other the other day and have been hanging out.

Jared: Yeah I remember her. Um, what about Y/N? I thought you liked her.

Jensen: Yeah, it didn’t work out. It’s for the best. She’s your love interest on the show and I just think it would be for the best if we didn’t hook up.

Jared: okay man. Whatever you say. Maybe see you later.

Jared looked at you and said “I’ve been friends with him for years and I don’t know what he’s thinking. He’s out with some girl right now. He said they might come by. I’m so sorry Y/N. I swear he told me he wanted to be with you.” A lump formed in your throat and you felt sick. “It’s okay Jared. I mean we only kissed and I guess he decided he really didn’t want to see where we went.” You said fighting back tears.

You took a sip of water and went outside to the deck. You sat listening to the crickets and the laughter from inside. You couldn’t believe your heart was breaking. It was just a kiss. He changed his mind. He’s allowed to do that. It’s for the best. Getting involved with a coworker is always a bad idea. You kept telling yourself this over and over. Then you heard his voice. You turned around and saw Jensen with his arm around a very attractive, slender, blonde woman.

Everyone was greeting Jensen and her. You noticed he kept looking around. You wondered what he was looking for. You heard Jensen introducing the woman as “Katie” and she seemed really sweet. You stayed on the deck unable to move. Jared saw you and made his way outside to you. “Hey, you okay” he asked throwing an arm around your shoulder. “Yeah I’m good. Just wanted to get some fresh air. I’m not feeling great so I think I’m gonna head home.” You said fighting back tears. Jared nodded and walked back inside with you.

You made your way through the people saying goodbye as you walked. You were almost at the door when Misha stopped you. “Hey, Y/N. Where are you going” he asked. As you turned to tell him goodbye you saw Jensen with Katie standing next to him. “I’m heading out. Not feeling too good. I think I had a little too much to drink and not enough to eat.” You said not making eye contact with Jensen. Misha completely clueless said “oh okay. Yeah that sucks. Before you leave did you get a chance to meet Jensen’s girl, Katie.” “No, I don’t think I have. Hello, I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you Katie. I don’t mean to be rude but I really should be going.” You said after shaking her hand.

You looked up at Jensen and nodded. He looked at you almost apologizing but you had to be mistaken. “Well good night everyone, nice to meet you Katie. I’m sure I’ll see you around again soon.” You spun on your heels and went out the door.

Jensen followed you outside. You knew he was there. You could smell his cologne. “Hey, Y/N wait a second please.” He almost whispered. You looked at him “what Jensen”. “I need to explain. I” “No! (You cut him off) You don’t need to explain anything. You kissed me, wanted to be together, then you said you didn’t. There’s nothing to fucking explain. Go back inside to your girlfriend. I’m going home.” You hissed at him. You climbed in your car, slammed the door and took off.

Jensen stood in the driveway for a few minutes then went back inside. He went over to Jared and asked for your number. Jared hesitantly gave it to him.

*Time jump 3 weeks*

You started to become more comfortable with the set, the cast and the crew. Today however was going to be a more challenging shoot. Your character and Sam have sex for the first time. You’ve read over the script multiple times, met with the crew who would be present during the scene and Jared. They explained everything to you and assured you none of your body would appear on screen. Just your bare back and the only crew on set would be the director, Jared, you and two female assistants to help you in any way you needed.

Your wardrobe was flesh colored intimate covers and your robe to get you to and from set. Jared’s was pretty much the same thing. You were in your trailer reading over the script trying not to be nervous but you couldn’t help it. There was a knock at your door and it was Jared. “Hey, um Rick is sick and can’t direct the shoot today. They have called in another director.” He said reluctantly. “Oh, okay. Are they aware of the scene today and everything we have in place for it.” You asked. Jared nodded. “So Y/N, the director is Jensen.” Jared said. “Wait, what?!?” You exclaimed. “This can’t be.” You said. “Why would they have him direct?!” You practically yelled.

“He has experience and he was available today. The studio didn’t want to push the schedule so we were behind. It’s going to be okay. I promise. Jensen is very professional and I’ll be there.” He assured you. You sighed. “Okay Jared. Let’s get this over with.” You stood heading towards the door.

As you and Jared approached the set you saw Jensen looking incredible. You instinctively bit your lip. He was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt that hugged his chest and biceps. It wasn’t fair how this man could look like sex on two legs no matter what he was wearing.

Jensen’s voice boomed over the set asking for everyone to clear out unless they were part of the scene. He approached you and Jared and asked if you two were ready. You both nodded. He went over the scene and how he was going to get multiple angles and shots so they can piece together the best ones. He called for places. You and Jared removed your robes. The assistant helping you held up a sheet to wrap around you until you got in the bed. You climbed in and snuggled to “Sam”. “And action” Jensen called.

The beginning of the scene was you laying beside Sam and he was making sure you were ready for the next step. You nodded and he cupped your face kissing you. Things started heating up and the scene moved on. Sam was hovering over Lilah. “God you’re so beautiful, Lilah. Are you sure you’re ready” Sam asked. “Yes I am. Take me Sam. I need you” you said. Jared positioned himself in between your legs and “pushed in” as he started to move and you moaned you heard Jensen yell “cut”.

“What’s wrong” Jared asked. “I don’t know. I just don’t think she’s giving a convincing scene. I need more from you. Sam is a moose and he’s big. I need to believe it.” Jensen said. “Okay” you said in a small voice. Jared leaned down and said you did great but to follow his lead. You shook your head in agreement.

“Action” Jensen yelled. Sam pushed in again and you gasped loudly grabbing his shoulders. Moans from you and Jared filled the room. It was very convincing. Jared leaned down and said in your ear “you’re doing great. Now let’s get this party started”. You stifled a giggle. Jared sped up and flipped you over on your knees. This took everyone by surprise. Jensen’s jaw was on the floor but he couldn’t call cut. The way the sheet laid over your body and the moans falling from your lips turned him on more than he cared to admit. If anyone had been looking at his they would have noticed he was getting hard.

Sam and Lilah were moaning and filling the room with the sounds of pleasure. Jared moved and had you straddle him. The sheet pooled around your hips exposing your breasts. Jensen bit his lip but kept rolling. You started to ride Jared and ran your fingers in your hair. Your breasts were bouncing up and down and Sam sat up cupping them. You moaned his name as he took a nipple in his mouth. You knew he couldn’t really because the covers on them, but your moans were pretty convincing. So convincing Jensen yelled cut.

“Jared what the hell man. None of this was part of the scene” Jensen yelled. “You know we improvise a lot of these scenes. What the hell is your problem man. You keep stopping the scenes” Jared demanded. You looked over your shoulder and saw Jensen had a noticeable bulge in his jeans. Jared saw it too and reality struck him. Jensen was jealous. Jensen called for lunch and everyone cleared the set except you, Jared and Jensen. You covered up with the sheet and Jared got up to talk to Jensen.

“Dude what the hell is wrong with you. The scenes are going great. She’s an incredible actress. Give her a break. You’re the one who decided not to pursue her.” Jared reminded him. Jensen ran his hands down his face in a frustrated sigh. “I know. The scene was perfect. You guys have incredible chemistry and I guess I got jealous. I want her to moan my name and be mine. I fucked up man. She wants nothing more to do with me. Not that I blame her.” Jensen said. Jared looked at him and said “Man you have to figure out what you want. If you want her then tell her. Stop being a coward. If you don’t want her then let her be. It’s not right man.”

“You’re right man. Can you give us a minute to talk” Jensen asked his friend. Jared nodded and left the building. You sat on the bed covered up as Jensen approached you. “Hey Y/N. Can we talk” he asked. You nodded and he sat on the bed. “Look you were doing an incredible job with that scene. I’m so sorry for being an ass.” “If I did so well why did you keep interrupting the scene” you asked. “Honestly, I got jealous. I wanted you to call my name out and me being the one having you. I’m so sorry.” He said as he put his head down.

You took his hand and said “I don’t understand. You’re with Katie and you made it clear you didn’t want me. Why would you be jealous.” “I’m not with her. I don’t want her. I want you. I’ve always wanted you. I was scared. I’m sorry.” Jensen said kissing your hand.

You took your hand and lifted his chin staring into his green eyes. You leaned in and kissed him. At first it felt like he was hesitant but then he deepened the kiss. Pulling your body flush with his. His hands dancing up and down your bare skin. Goosebumps erupted all over and you moaned into his mouth. You both pulled away gasping for air and as soon as you both caught it you were kissing again.

Jensen pulled away and looked at your still naked body and bit his lip. “Can we take this to my trailer” he asked. “Yes. Please Jensen I want you”. He helped you up and you put on your robe. He took your hand and the two of you walked to his trailer. As soon as the door was closed and locked his hands were on your body again.

He led you to the bedroom and laid you on the bed. He helped you out of the robe and body covers from the scene. Jensen stood back admiring your body. “Fuck you’re sexy baby”. He said and your face flushed. You bit your lip and told him he was overdressed. He smirked and said “yes ma’am” and he removed his clothes. When his rock hard cock sprang free from his boxers you gasped at the size. You made eye contact with him and he smirked.

He licked his lips “I want to taste you sweetheart”. He parted your legs and crawled in between your thighs kissing all the way up to your dripping folds. He took his fingers and parted your folds. He smirked when he felt how wet you were. “You’re dripping baby”. He stuck two fingers in and hooked them. You gasped and your walls clenched around his thick fingers. He moved them in and out getting you ready to take him. He leaned down and started to lick your engorged clit. You moaned his name as you arched your back. Your fingers found his hair and you pulled him into your dripping pussy. He was licking and sucking like a man starved. You felt yourself close to the edge. “I’m going to cum Jensen. Oh fuck. Right there baby” you screamed. He licked faster and pushed you over the edge. As you came you screamed his name and he kept licking and sucking as your body grew more sensitive. You screamed again as another, more intense orgasm hit. Jensen grinned as he pulled his fingers out of you.

“Damn baby, you taste delicious and you came so hard.” He said smiling. “Oh my god, Jensen. That was amazing.” You said as you laid back. “You sure you want me, Y/N” he questioned. “Yes, please. I want you in me” you begged. Jensen grabbed a condom and pumped himself a few times before rolling the condom on. Once it was on he lined himself up and asked if you were ready. You shook your head yes. He pushed in slowly. You gasped and grabbed his shoulders. Jensen leaned down and kissed you as he pushed further in.

Once he was all the way in he lifted your legs and set a steady pace. Moans and the sounds of pleasure filled the room. Jensen and you were exploring each other’s bodies with every thrust and movement. He felt incredible and he fit perfectly inside you. The perfect combination of pleasure and pain.

He moved at an easy pace and each thrust he hit a spot inside you nobody ever had.

He pulled out and laid down having you straddle him. As he looked up at you he said “damn this is an incredible view”. He cupped your breasts as you lined him up and sat down on him pushing him all the way in. The new position had you seeing stars. He was in so deep and when he lifted his hips he pushed further in. You grinded down on him and arched your back. You threw your head back moaning and gasping in pleasure.

Jensen leaned up and kissed your lips and made his way down to your nipples. Each bounce brought him closer to his release. He bucked his hips into you causing you to gasp loudly. “I’m gonna cum Y/N” Jensen said in a low voice. “Cum for me baby. Fill me up” you said with a seductive tone. He grabbed your hips pulling you down onto him. He grunted and came hard. Filling the condom with his hot seed. You climbed off of him when he finished and he got up to clean himself up.

When Jensen got back in bed he pulled you close to him. He kissed your head and you snuggled into him and giggled. “What’s so funny, Y/N” he asked with a smile. “So this was taking it slow” you laughed. Jensen laughed and said “I guess for us it was”.

You laid in his arms as he pulled you tight. “How much longer do we have on lunch, Mr Director” you giggled. “About an hour. Why what did you have in mind” he asked smiling. “I can think of something to fill that time” you whispered in his ear. He smiled, growled and pulled you to his lips. Giggles and laughter filled the room as you and Jensen kissed and held each other.

Your heart leaped with every touch, and kiss. You could see yourself giving him your heart, you just hoped it would be safe in his hands. Your y/e/c eyes looked into his green as the giggles and laughter quieted. He brushed a stray piece of hair from your face and his hand ran down your face. “So beautiful” he whispered as he placed a soft kiss on your lips. You smiled, blushed and knew in that moment you could definitely fall for Jensen. It was exciting but so terrifying. For now though, you were perfectly content just lying in his arms.

Forever tags: @nescaveckdaily @kr804573 @k-slla @jackles010378 @jawritter @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @roseblue373

[eisforeidolon]

I am sorry but I just need to vent about misha being an absolute creep. I am so goddamn tired of him constantly trying to insert himself into jensen and danneel's relationship saying danneel is his girlfriend or in the recent purgatory 8 con, his wife. It's so disrespectful towards their marriage, kids and family. I understand it may be a joke but there's a limit and misha always seems to cross that. It's like he's in love with the idea of having a threesome with the ackles. He always has something or the else to say about danneel sexually which is honestly creepy to me. And I've noticed how that makes jensen so uncomfortable, like dude that's his wife back off. He has done this soo many times over the years. Ughhh I strongly dislike him, idk how the others stand him after he makes such crass jokes. And the fans who ship the 3 together are soo toxic and delulu like which sane couple would want to include such a problematic person like misha into their relationship and make it an unhealthy environment for their children to grow up in. I'm sorry for the vent, I'm just very disgusted by him😶

No apologies necessary, because I agree, it's just so fucking weird.

We know the the Ackles primarily (if not exclusively) only hang out together with Misha around work-related events. On the one side, while Danneel has made some vague noises about being a fan of Misha/Castiel, and Jensen does talk about him as a friend? Most of Jensen's comments about him are dunking on him for being awkward, for saying shit he can't back up, and just generally ribbing him for the weird shit he gets himself into and what a strange guy he is. Then on the other side you have Misha frequently making these very sexual and/or suggestive quote unquote jokes about both of them. Like, I'd still think it was odd if they were all publicly sharing that kind of sexualized banter back and forth on a regular basis, but they aren't. It's always Misha starting it and often Misha doing it alone, metaphorically behind their backs. Which is a huge part of what makes it so creepy, because it makes him come off more like some weird invasive fan failing at boundaries who they have to publicly be nice to because ~*SPN fambily*~ rather than it being an understandable friendship that genuinely exists between them.

Which is bad enough, but you can't separate his behavior from the context of the fandom he's pointedly doing it for. The loud majority of people still buying his crap (ops/autos/merch) and potentially following any future projects he might have? Are hellers/cockles shippers. Who only really care about him in terms of fantasizing about him and Jensen together (and pointedly include Danneel to contrast themselves against the wife haters in the extreme J2 tinhatter camp). Which takes the whole thing from just awkward creepy into a very calculated, opportunistic user kind of creepy.

I'm not sure there's anyone or anything Misha wouldn't "joke" about being intimate with if he thought he could make a buck off it. He's shown over and over he has no integrity and blatantly lacks respect for other people if throwing them under the bus (or talking about them as a sex object) will play well with his audience.

[dotthings]

spn 6.03 rewatch. Oh there's a lot going on in this one.

I know at the time production said the makeup department forgot to add Cas's handprint scar onto Dean's shoulder, and Jensen and Misha had to pad that with talk of how Cas healed all of Dean in 5.22 so the scar is gone. I'm going to suggest a third thing, which is about subtext, and the fact that in Dean's dream where he's having sex with dream Lisa, the scar is gone, and it's like Cas has to be erased for that, and why would Cas (his mark on Dean's body) have to be erased for Dean to have sex with his girlfriend. Just saying. The subtext there is loaded.

Cas and Sam are both in kinda cold places, but Cas still cares and it's obvious he does. He's anguished, but having to be ruthless, when he doesn't want to be. Whereas Sam is Soulless Sam and actually doesn't care. With Dean in the middle, acting on his compassion and keeping things grounded.

LOL the way Cas goes from Dean and I do have a more profound bond to switching over to a sarcastic "you think I came because you called" as if Cas had given too much away, as if he has to distance himself, there's so much at stake, he can't get too close, and that was getting way too soft and he can't afford it. Cas avoids Dean a lot in S6 and we know Cas is keeping secrets and why he's doing this, and he has a good reason, but there's this component where he's avoiding Dean because feelings, and that would make him vulnerable in ways she cannot afford. Dean is very complicated for Cas in S6.

When Dean prays, Cas answers. Oh sure he has his bigger agenda. But are we really going to pretend this isn't personal. Likewise Dean does the same kind of thing. Calls Cas when they have something biblical to deal with, but actually misses having him around and wants to see him.

The way Cas just grabs Dean's hand and cuts his palm then doesn't even heal it afterwards. This is Cas in his anguished ruthless mode, but it's also that by this point, Cas is still very feral angel. In S6 he's being devoured by a lot of feelings, but he's spend a year as a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent and some of what he's learned from hanging out with Sam and Dean in S4/5 has receded a little bit, and he cares a lot, but he's also...ruthless angel still. And I'm torturing myself thinking about how Cas grows over the course of the series and the tenderness that develops in him and how much S6 Cas is very much S6 Cas but not later Cas and specifically Cas healing Dean's hand after it was cut for a ritual, without Dean even having to ask.

Even with all the ruthlessness, Cas is still Cas, and his softness is showing, he sides with humans, helps Sam and Dean, sticks up for Dean fiercely with Balthazar--"I believe the hairless ape had the floor." Yet also gives his old friend Balthazar a chance to run.

Cas in this ep is just. He is so!!!!!!!!!! "Why don't any of you listen" he's trying to save everyone. His human family, his angel family. There's a power vacuum in Heaven and civil war and it's chaos. And he can't hang around with Dean even though he wants to and he just vanishes.

The souls. It's all about the souls. The only currency worth having. It's all!! About!! the souls!!!!

Dean knows Sam very well and knows something's off and it's interesting how this ep, in dialogue, presents it as if Sam somehow has more ability than Dean to mentally bounce back from torture, and Dean says "do that means you're stronger" and oh it turns out to be nothing of the kind. But that is how it's presented as of this episode.

[narrynukezankielover]

Finally got to the siren ep. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. I completely understand why people are obsessed with this ep. A few things tho that got me. When the doctor misses was explaining oxytocin to Sam she said you get it when you are giveing birth, lactating or sex. She even described falling in love to explain her point. Then after Sam specifically said that the siren goes after guys sexually Dean says “whatever floats your boat that’s what it looks like.” They didn’t say anything about people you love like family members or friends them and the doctor specifically were talking about sexual relationships. The siren suggested going to a strip club which obviously is not a Sam thing it’s a Dean thing so it definitely was aiming for Dean. Dean and the siren hanging out wasn’t sexual but when Dean got the spit in his mouth the siren got very flirty. Dean obviously wasn’t giveing birth or lactating the only other thing was sexual arousal. Yes Sam gets under the sirens power too but he had just had sex so the oxytocin is probably still in his system. Plus at the end the siren said he wanted to fall in love again and again. He didn’t say he wanted to experience love he said fall in love. Who the f*ck says they’re in love with their brother. If you are you need help that’s disgusting. The writers tried to make it sound like it was a brotherly love thing but they didn’t succeed. I was actually thinking ok maybe it is just a brotherly thing until I heard the siren say in love.

I also watched On The Head Of A Pin (season 4 ep 16). I found it cute that when Dean and Sam walked into the room Sam had no idea anything was out of the ordinary yet Dean took one look at Cas and knew right away something was wrong that Cas wasn’t the one up front like the other times. I love how much they protect each other when they’ve only known each other a short while. I think Dean only did the tortureing because after talking to Cas and finding out Cas really doesn’t want him to do it he only did it for Cas. He didn’t want Cas to get into trouble and Cas even came to his rescue. Only thing I don’t really understand is why Uriel thought Cas would let Dean die. He was the one that said that Cas has a weakness and that was that he likes Dean. He seen them protecting each other yet he thought Cas would just let Dean die?

Sorry for keep putting up my opinion of the eps but I only have 1 friend who has watched Supernatural and she can’t even remember most of what happened. She literally has Mishas bad memory. Plus she’s half homophobic (she’s not against it but she doesn’t want to see it) so I can’t really talk about Destiel to her.

[cosmicheartz]

Kinda disjointed ramblings abt future au Raz and his relationships with the new interns/former campers ( and the former interns/JAs )

So I personally hc why Raz in pn2 was a lot more softer was bc the motherlobe is an extremely diff environment from camp along with being around people a lot older than him plus it being the headquarters of the psychonauts which he idolizes and dreams of becoming one. ( I also think he was lowkey masking in a sense )

As he gets older he becomes.. I don’t wanna say fully disillusioned but like he’s been around the block and knows all the positives and negatives of being a psychonaut. He’s also a lot more comfortable with the former interns/JAs in terms of being able to joke around with em ( also he and Norma butt heads like a lot )

When the new interns/former campers arrive at the motherlobe his relationship with them varies so here’s like a rundown of it

DOGEN: they’re like the ultimate bros/besties. You often see them together hanging out, doing psychonauts stuff etc.

I also think Raz helps Dogen out with controlling his blastokinesis and all that stuff and Raz is like Dogens unofficial mentor in some aspects too.

CRYSTAL: so I think the gravity of the whole suicide pact thing she and Clem had didn’t hit Raz until he was like.. 13-14? So he ends up feeling really really bad about it and when Crystal enters the program he sorta walks on eggshells around her at first and is overly nice to her.

Crystal catches on and she and Raz have a whole talk about it and how she’s doing a lot better and he doesn’t have to act like she will break at any moment. After that their relationship is pretty close. I wouldn’t say they’re like super best friends but they hang out often and Raz tries to help out Crystal if she’s having a rough mental health day ( and vice versa bc I think Raz should have some comfort )

PHOEBE: outside of Phoebes one sided jealousy/grudge thing against Raz during her first few months as an intern they’re pretty much just acquaintances/co workers.

They do sorta hang out since Crystal is very close with Phoebe but outside of that they barely talk/interact unless it’s for work

QUENTIN: also just acquaintances but a little bit more close/friendly with eachother. After Quentin decides to drop the intern program they barely interact unless their paths cross with eachother ( like at a bar where Quentin would be like “ Yoo Raz! It’s been a while my man “ and buys him a drink or something and they catch up a bit )

KITTY: pretty much their camp dynamic but worse. Raz doesn’t like her and Kitty doesn’t like him and they constantly butt heads/insult each other if possible.

Usually Kitty makes a snide remark at him and he shoots one back but sometimes Raz will be the instigator just because he can. When she eventually leaves the intern program Raz is very happy about it.

And Since I hc that Kitty is sort of double agent esque when she’s older ( while she’s not affiliated with the Psychonauts anymore she sometimes will help them but will also sometimes help the villian/antagonists if it benefits her ) their paths cross semi frequently and while their dynamic isn’t as hostile as it was during camp/the intern program they still don’t get along and Kitty will take any given opportunity to mess with Raz

The closest comparison I have is the dynamic between Tanya Keys and Mao Mao but without the ex romantic partners undertones

FRANKE: they have a mutual dislike of each other but aren’t as harsh to each other like Raz and Kitty are. Honestly I think Raz sorta pities Franke for sticking around with Kitty.

VERNON: Similar to Phoebe tbh though Raz does get annoyed with Vernon’s story ramblings sometimes.

MIKHAIL: Raz and Misha didn’t really interact before Misha’s disappearance. Only occasionally interacting since Sam was Mishas mentor and bc Raz is friends with her and close friends with her brother sometimes Misha would be there when Raz hung out with one/both of them.

idk how theyd be when they cross paths as adults but Raz is kinda relived Misha didnt fucking die

ELKA: relatively similar to their camp dynamic. They don't get along and while their dynamic isn't as bad as Raz and Kittys it doesnt stop them from making snarky remarks and thinly veiled threats at eachother. And since theres the added thing of Elka and Dogen being close they sometimes are forced to be in proximity of eachother and they have to force themselves to tolerate the other.

CLEM: oh boy this one’s a doozy

To start I hc Clem joins a bit late ( around 16 ) so Raz doesn’t do the walking on eggshells thing like he did with Crystal. He does however try to help him bc teen/intern Clem is a hot mess but bc Clem is rude/cold to almost everyone he doesn’t really get anywhere.

Raz keeps trying though ( a bit of a savior complex thing tbh ) but over time Clems attitude starts to wear him down ( extra note: Crystal also went through the same thing with Clem during his last years at whispering rock )

Then one day Clem goes too far and makes a really nasty remark about Razs family which causes Raz to snap and go off at him ( which then results in a fight ). After that Raz and Clem do not like eachother and actively avoid one another.

( they lowkey have bitter exes energy tbh and it’s not rlly helped by the fact i hc Clem had a crush on Raz at some point )

Eventually Crystal convinces Raz to go with her into Clems mind in a last ditch effort to help his mental state and he agrees. Afterwards when Clem is on his mental health recovery journey they make up and become friends.

And tbh that’s about it. Maybe I’ll get into his relationships with the campers who didn’t do the intern program but idk.

[a-vivid-dreamer]

So, about your Mirror Image AU, I would like to ask you more questions if you don't mind. I just got so into this AU that I want to know more about it! I hope you draw more comics of this AU! It's fantastic and an interesting concept! ^^

1. So what happen to Yanqing and Misha once their powers took over their place after becoming Sentimental?

2. Will there be other characters like Jing Yuan or the Trailblazer that will appear in this AU? If so, what will they think about Yanqing and Misha's powers taking over their bodies?

I hope you notice my ask to you! I will be more then happy if you happen to respond to my questions! ^^

Haha, I don’t mind at all! Feel free to ask. I also may draw more comics but I will overall be making more art in the future. Though, for the full story/plot for any of my aus I prefer writing fics since it’s generally quicker and easier to get descriptive.

1. Misha and Yanqing have a cooperative/symbiotic relationship with their “other selves”. And they can always communicate mentally with their other self regardless of who’s in control. When it comes to their memories and thoughts, all of them have the authority to hide info from their other self or allow everything (or certain things) to be shared. However, what none of them can ever block out are emotions. Emotions will always be shared/felt.

Naturally, with only one body, they can only have one of them in control at a time. And this is as simple as breathing for them and they can switch control at any time. Whoever is not in control (or both not in control if they’re sleeping/unconscious) sort of hang out in an endless mindscape “room”. Though this is a mixture of literal and metaphorical.

Other than seemingly displaying a different personality (from the perspective of other people who don’t know), Ahsim and Qingyan have finer control over Misha and Yanqing’s powers and know how to handle the full potential of these abilities. After all, that’s literally what Ahsim and Qingyan are “born” from and made of. Additionally, they can also prevent Misha and Yanqing from using their powers partially or entirely. This is typically done as a safety feature since Misha and Yanqing could risk harming themselves or others if no limitations are put down. And of course, Ahsim and Qingyan have to be mindful of the bodies of their hosts.

2. There will definitely be other characters. For Jing Yuan, he found out about Yanqing and Qingyan later on in their life but still before HSR starts (he doesn’t know about Misha since he didn’t get to meet Misha yet). Other than that, Jing Yuan is the only one who is fully informed about the Yanqing and Qingyan situation and doesn’t mind it at all. Meanwhile there are some select few such as Fu Xuan who suspect something is going on but still don’t actually know.

As for the Trailblazer, currently they don’t know about either. And, depending on how the rest of Penacony’s current story goes, I’d imagine them learning about Ahsim and Qingyan sometime during it (since Yanqing went to Penacony in this AU). Ahsim and Qingyan have been keeping some things solely between them and with both of them highly protective of their hosts, it’s only natural they’d take control if the situation is getting a bit dangerous. The trailblazer may be in for quite the shock haha.

I hope that answers some of your questions! Sorry if it’s a bit long. ❤️

[crashdevlin]

Permission Granted 3- Too Much

Author’s Note: This is the third chapter of Permission Granted, the first part of To Have it All. This is Open...from Jensen's side!

Summary: Jensen tries to do the right thing, but sometimes the right thing is too difficult.

Pairing: none yet, eventual Jensen x Reader

Word count: 6757

Story Warnings: Y/n's poor self esteem, Jensen's sexual imagination, mentions of an open marriage, mentions of depression, mentions of cheating, mentions of drinking to deal with depression

~~~~

I don't think I've ever put in the effort to befriend someone the way I put it in for Y/n. And I mean 'befriend'. That was the whole plan. Friends was the only thing I was going for, but the more time I spent with her, and I made sure to spend as much time with her as possible over the next few weeks...the more time I spent with her, the more often I was fantasizing about her. It was a bit embarrassing, actually. We'd be sitting at craft, having a nice lunch. I'd say something to make her laugh and then I would spend five minutes in my head thinking about her smile. Jared would make her turn shy by teasing her about Tara's on-camera flirting, she'd hide her face and I'd start thinking about how that innocent energy would translate into the bedroom.

And speaking of Tara, when she flirted with Dean, it was like Y/n was flirting with me. Every time, it fueled my fantasies. Hearing her call Dean "Pretty Boy" and "Handsome" and fuckin' "Cowboy" was so good because I knew that I was never going to hear Y/n say those things to me. 'Cowboy' was a personal favorite, and I made sure to let the writers know they should make that Tara's go-to nickname for Dean.

Y/n didn't flirt with me. Y/n still turned into a stuttering mess just talking to me sometimes. I would sit there, watching her freak out about the Pam-level flirting Tara had to lay down, wondering what it would be like for her to actually flirt with me. It would be something completely different than what Dabb and the boys in the writers' room put down. It would be sweet and wonderful. It would be uniquely Y/n.

I started flirting to try to get her to flirt in return and I tried, believe me I did, to keep the flirting to the same friendly manner that I flirt with Jared and Misha and Christian. But with her, it never came out that way. With her, it seemed…like too much, maybe. And maybe that's why she stopped hanging with us after a few weeks; I was too pushy. God, that was like a suckerpunch, though. First time I invited her to have a drink after work and she said 'no'? I was about two steps from demanding an explanation as to why. She didn't owe me an explanation and I knew that but it took Jared grabbing my phone out of my hand and holding it behind his back for me to register that.

"Ackles, she's allowed to say 'no'. She can do other shit," Jared reminded.

"I fuckin' know that, man, but she-" I reached around to try to grab my phone but he twisted away from me. "Gimme my phone!"

"Only when you promise not to call her or text her demanding a reason for her politely declining your invitation."

"Fine!" He raised his eyebrows and I let out a huff of a sigh. "I promise I won't demand anything out of her, okay? I'll just tell her that I'm sad she won't be there but I understand she can't always come out with us. Okay? Now gimme my phone."

"You can't get that upset just because she's got other plans," Jared said, handing my phone back.

"Well, she doesn't know anybody else in Vancouver so how could she have other plans?" I asked, my neck heating up at the thought of her meeting some Canadian dude and making plans with him instead of me.

"She's nice enough. Cute enough. Maybe she met a guy who-"

"I'm trying not to think about that possibility!" I hissed as I typed out a text expressing my disappointment at being declined.

"Hey, she's our friend now, isn't she? New friend but still. Shouldn't you want her to find some happiness? Way she talks, and doesn't talk, about her ex-husband...she probably needs something good."

He was right. Of course he was, but even though I couldn't give her anything, because holy shit that would be so bad, I still didn't want to think about her finding something good with someone else.

"She hasn't met anybody. She told us when the barista remembered her name a few days ago. She would have said if she'd met somebody who asked her out."

Just for good measure, I added "Hope your plans are more fun than ours" to the end of the text before I sent it out.

"Wow, is that denial or wishful thinking?" I rolled my eyes and started to walk away toward the wardrobe trailer to drop off the dirty Dean clothes. "Seriously, why don't you talk to Dee? I'm sure you could get her approval on-"

"Jared, stop." I turned to him and shrugged. "We talked about this. She's not gonna be around long enough to be worth the risk in even asking to start something with her. She's a fan. She's a friend. I can't see-"

"What if Dabb keeps her around? And what if Creation brings her in on the conventions? She'd be around a lot then, right? Would she be worth asking, then?"

I sighed and licked my lips. "Yeah...maybe...I don’t know. She's...she's…"

"Driving you crazy and we can all see it," he said, laughing.

"Shut up." I rolled my eyes and started walking to Wardrobe again. "Why are you pushin' so hard for this?"

"Because you haven't been getting any and you're a bit of a grump...and you're moving from 'grump' to 'asshole' and no one wants that. I love you, brother, but you get a bit hard to deal with when you're not-"

"Okay, okay, I'm not that bad," I argued.

"You practically growled at Misha yesterday when he asked you to get him a coffee," he argued back. "You nearly threw hands with Dabb over a line of dialogue in the newest script."

"Dabb's an asshole and Dean would give the damn kid a chance, okay? Only time he wouldn't was when he had the Mark of Cain. And Misha has legs, he can get his own coffee and fuck, you're right, I'm being an ass but who says it's because I'm sexually frustrated?"

"Me. And Danneel...because if it's not that, then you need to get your hormones checked because you're going through male menopause, old man."

I turned to him again, glaring up into his face. "I'm not old and I'm not going through menopause. I've just...shut up." I had nothing to say. He was right. Jared knows me better than almost anybody.

"Well, maybe you should buy a Fleshlight...or get better at masturbating."

I rolled my eyes as he laughed. "Seriously, shut up."

~~~~

Y/n kept avoiding me. For a little over a week, every time I tried to get her to hang out or have a drink, she declined. I bit my tongue to keep myself from throwing a fit over it but it made me feel like I’d done something wrong.

“Did I do something? Has she said anything to you?” I asked Jared as she sent me another kiss-off text.

“No. She seems okay with me, though. We had lunch earlier while you were-”

“Are you kidding me?!” I exclaimed, trying to keep my anger to a minimum. “What did I do? Why is she avoiding me?”

“Maybe she’s uncomfortable with how you flirt with her,” Jared suggested.

“I flirt with all my friends!” I scoffed. “I mean, I flirt with you. I flirt with Misha. I flirt with Chris and Kim and Bri and…” I licked my lips and looked away. “I flirt with everyone. It’s just lighthearted fun.”

“But it might be different for her. She’s shy, Jay, and you are an attractive man that she still gets nervous just talking to. You can’t flirt with her like that.”

“Yeah.” I hated that he was so right about every aspect of the situation with Y/n. “Yeah. You’re right. I will...stop flirting with her. Keep it professional.”

“Don’t keep it professional; just keep it friendly.”

“Yeah. Okay. Um...I’ll fix this. I’ll fix it. Can you…” I cleared my throat and smiled at him. “Can you invite her to hang out on Thursday? We’ll have a few drinks, live tweet the premiere, and I will not flirt. Just a couple friends and a couple drinks.”

His eyebrows went up. “‘Just a couple friends and a couple drinks’, huh?”

“Don’t get that look. I’m gonna be a friend. Nothing else.”

“Sure. Your trailer?”

“Yeah. My trailer. I’ve got the better recliners.”

He nodded and pulled out his phone, walking away as he tapped out a text to her. I wasn’t jealous about the way she immediately responded to his text with a smile emoji and acceptance of the invitation. Not at all.

I made sure to stock the trailer with several kinds of liquor and beers and bottles of water. I ordered pizzas and snacks. Jared was in my trailer for half an hour, chuckling about me trying to clean up despite the fact that I had already cleaned the place. Y/n showed up fifteen minutes before the East Coast showing, wearing a cute pink blouse and a pair of tight jeans that hugged her hips just right. I had to stop myself from making a comment about the way she looked, directing her to my favorite recliner and handing her a Cosmic Cowboy.

“You tweeting the West coast premiere or just East coast?” she asked, getting comfortable.

“Both,” Jared announced, flopping into the second recliner. “We’re usually working on premiere nights but they gave us tonight and half of tomorrow off. We are partying!”

“We’ll probably be shooting ‘til four in the morning tomorrow to make up for it but tonight we are going to enjoy ourselves.” I sat on the right arm of Y/n’s seat and looked down at her. I was trying to keep my distance a bit, but I still wanted to be near her. “So where’ve you been? You’ve been a bit of a ghost the last week or so. Are you okay?”

She pursed her lips a bit and nodded. “Yeah. Just homesick.”

I understood that. Homesick was where I lived. I reached out to pat her shoulder. “Yeah, I get it. You never get used to it but it does eventually get a little easier. Facetime is your best friend.” I pulled out my phone to show her my Facetime app, but thought better of it. She was right there next to me...we needed to have a picture. “Picture time.”

She immediately ducked out of the way, escaping the selfie. “No, wait, what?!”

I chuckled at her reaction. “Oh, come on. Your television debut is about to air. We need documentation.”

She leaned back into the shot and Jared leaned our way. I took a pic and smiled as I tapped out a tweet, attaching the picture and tagging Y/n in it.

“You didn’t say you were documenting on Twitter!” she shrieked when her phone went off to let her know I’d tagged her.

I put on a grumpy face, but I was smiling inside at her reaction. I leaned down closer to her, careful not to take on a flirty tone. “We’re live tweeting,” I reminded her.

“Yeah, the premiere, not the party!”

“You are just determined to not enjoy this fame thing, huh?”

She looked all shy again and shook her head. “I just...I know how this could go, ya know?” I knew exactly where she was going with this. “I am not looking forward to seeing a bunch of hate on my Twitter feed or...ya know, the ‘who the hell is this chick’ stuff. I was just…”

I nudged her shoulder with my elbow. No real contact. “Hey, lil’ Miss Fortitude...we’re here to support you. Some fans are gonna hate it no matter what we do.”

“Can’t please everyone. It’s an important lesson. Don’t hold back just because you’re afraid someone’s gonna hate it,” Jared offered.

She needed to see herself for who she really was. She really did think that people were going to hate her. I didn’t understand why she thought so poorly of herself. Honestly, I thought she was one of the most amazing women I ever met. So, as I watched the episode, tapping out tweets about what was happening on screen, I was trying to think of ways to do something about that self esteem of hers.

She didn’t seem to like the Cowboy much, so when she finished the beer, I got up and made her a Vodka Cranberry.

When a new set showed up on the screen, I looked over at her. “This you?”

She nodded and hid in her drink as her scene played. Her acting was perfect, moving seamlessly from sweet to serious, berating the teen witches about their lack of determination. I looked over at her, discreetly, as we watched and her eyes went so damn wide. I swear she wasn’t breathing the entire time she was on the screen.

“That was amazing,” she finally said when it went to commercial. “I was on TV!”

She seemed really happy and I loved that. “See? Hold onto that feeling, Baby Girl. Who gives a fuck if the fans like you? We like you,” I said, wrapping my arms around her and hugging her tight.

She loosened up a bit after that, I guess from the adrenaline of her performance, and she loosened up a lot more as the alcohol hit her. I won’t lie that I was happy to keep providing her drinks: Tequila Sunrises and Vodka Cranberries. I liked the way she was smiling and laughing and joking with us as she got drunker. I didn’t even think about the fact that she had to be sober enough to get back to her motel room...until Jared pointed out that it was 2am and we needed to get some rest before we made it back to the set at noon.

Watching Y/n pull her keys out of her purse made me step forward and wrap my hand around her wrist. “No.”

“What? I’m fine to drive,” she argued, before stumbling over her feet and grabbing the back of my recliner to stay standing.

“You are not. You are way too drunk to drive, Baby Girl, so you’re gonna get in the SUV with me and Jared. Clif can drive you back here in the morning,” I demanded. I waited for her to nod and put her keys back in her purse. The look Clif gave me when I helped her into the back seat of the SUV was like he knew exactly where my fantasies were leading me. The look Jared gave me when he got out of the SUV at his condo, leaving me and Y/n alone, said he was going to have a talk with me the next day.

I was so close to doing the right thing and telling Clif to take her to her motel...but then she laid her head on my shoulder and snuggled close to me on the back bench, muttering under her breath about how good my cologne smelled and the right thing just flew away. “Hey, Clif, just drive us to my place,” I said, quietly.

“Sure.”

“I don’t wanna hear it.”

“I didn’t say anything, Jensen.”

“Well, keep not saying anything.”

Clif opened the door for me and Y/n and told me to text him when it was time to head out in the morning. Y/n stumbled as we got into the elevator, so I wrapped my arm around her waist. As I was holding her to my side, helping her into my condo, it became completely obvious that I could not keep things professional with her. I couldn’t keep things friendly. I wanted her...so badly.

Of course I wasn’t going to do anything that night. We were drunk, very drunk, and I hadn’t even broached the subject with Danneel. That was the rule: Dee approves or nothing happens. But I wanted her...so I had to start making it happen.

“No, no, you don’t wanna sleep on the couch, Baby Girl,” I said as she sat down on the couch. “Your muscles will hate you in the morning. I got a big bed.” I offered my hand and she took it without comment, getting back to her feet and following me to my bedroom. I took her shoes off and helped her into my bed, before grabbing a pair of sweatpants and heading into the master bathroom to change. I slipped into the bed on the opposite side. She was already asleep...or passed out might be more accurate.

I slept for about three hours before the movement of her sitting up woke me. I knew she might be confused, probably a little drunk still, so I rolled over and put my hand on her shoulder, pushing her to get her to lie back. “We don’t gotta be at work ‘til noon, Baby Girl. Sleep off some more’a that tequila.”

She sighed and turned away from me, snuggling into my extra pillow. “‘Kay, but if your wife puts a hit out on me, I’m blaming you.”

I slipped my arm around her and pulled her against my chest. Just a little bit, get closer to her. “Trust me. Dee isn’t the jealous type,” I whispered.

I fell asleep holding her, my hand over her ribcage, just under her breast. I wanted more. I wanted to know what she felt like, what she sounded like. I wanted to know what she tasted like. But I would have to settle for my hands staying in neutral zones and my dick staying in my pants...for a little while.

When she woke up again, maybe prompted by my morning hardon poking her in the ass, she immediately rolled out of my bed and rushed out of the room. I stretched and grabbed clothes for the day, walking into the bathroom to get a shower. The erection went away without me having to take a hands-on approach. I brushed my teeth, put some of the Tom Ford on, and grabbed one of my watches out of the watch box. I called Clif, who said he’d be there to pick up me and my ‘girlfriend’ in ten minutes. I rolled my eyes and told him to keep that shit to himself.

I found Y/n in my kitchen, drinking a glass of water. “Clif’ll be here in about ten minutes. He’s gonna drop us by your motel so you can get showered and changed. How’s your hangover?” I asked.

“Oh, I don’t have one,” she said, dismissively. I could not believe that shit. “I drank a lot of water last night. You’ve probably got Nestle bottles strewn across your trailer. I always make sure to drink twice as much water as alcohol. It stops the headache and light sensitivity. So I just end up a little sick to my stomach, which can be remedied with Dramamine and a good sandwich.”

I was surprised by that wisdom coming out of this young woman. “Wow. You know how to drink.”

“Yeah, well…” She looked down at the floor and licked her lips. “I used to drown my depression in rum, so…”

That sentence hit me with a pang of empathetic sadness. “You’ve got depression?” I asked quietly. Jared’s got depression. Some of the best people I know have it. They don’t deserve to feel like that.

“Not Chemical Depression. It’s Situational. My old therapist was very specific about that.” She took a shaky breath before she continued. “When I get low, I get really low. It was at its worst when I was married...so I had five years of really low.”

There it was. Jared said it: she didn’t talk about her ex. I walked over and leaned against my fridge, arms crossed over my chest. “Yeah, ya know...you talk about your daughter all the time, but you barely ever mention her father. What happened there?”

She was obviously uncomfortable and unhappy to think about it, but she licked her lips and moved on with the conversation. “He was...ya know, he was my first real relationship. My only real relationship, actually. We married young. I told you that I was twenty when we got married. Well, Nate was only twenty-one. He wanted a woman who would worship him and...for a very long time, I did.” She cleared her throat, seemed like she was fighting back tears. “But he hurt me...emotionally. I was miserable for years and I couldn’t even tell for a long time. That pain became my normal.”

I didn’t even know what he’d done, but I could see the weight on her. It suddenly clicked for me, the self-esteem problems she was fighting. Whatever he’d put her through, it broke her self-worth.

“It was honestly the best thing that could have happened to me when he left me for...this friend of ours.”

“Shitty friend,” I said.

She nodded once, obviously fighting more tears. “You are not wrong.”

I didn’t want to make her feel self-conscious about letting her walls down, so I turned to get a cup of coffee and tried to make her smile. “You don’t seem like the type to worship a guy. You don’t even worship me and I’m totally worth it.”

“Oh, you’re the closest I’ll ever get again, Ackles. But back when I met him, I was different. I was…” She sighed. “I was fat and I honestly thought I was the ugliest chick in town and I hated myself and the fact that this guy was paying attention to me, saying that he loved me...I wanted so badly to keep that feeling that I ignored all the bad feelings.” I wish I’d known her back then. I wish I could have helped her see herself. “He kept me low on purpose, and as soon as I wanted to better myself. As soon as I decided that I needed to be a strong woman so that my daughter would be one, he stopped wanting me.”

“What, because he knew you were gonna realize what an ass he was as soon as you came out of the darkness?” All I could do was wonder what sort of man would do that to a woman. Any woman, really, but definitely a woman as great as Y/n.

I could see her nod from the corner of my eye. “That’s the theory.”

I turned to her and smiled as bright as I could. “Well, look at you now. Bet he’s kickin’ himself.”

“Oh, yeah. I’m on TV now. I’ve got almost ten thousand Twitter followers. My star is on the rise,” she joked...but I wasn’t joking.

I set my coffee on the counter and turned to her. “Not what I mean. The person you were when you married that jerk, she never would have sent that audition video in, would she?” She shook her head. “You never would’ve been able to befriend Jared and me. You never would have ended up part of this family. If you were still with him, you'd probably still be overweight and depressed and self-medicating with alcohol. You woulda only touched this world at the conventions."

She shook her at that. "Not even that," she disputed. She let out a little scoff. “I never did anything for myself when I was with him. He could buy Legos and trading cards and a thousand dollar special-import Playstation, but I couldn’t...I always looked at the cons, but I never went to them. Not just Supernatural cons either. Everything.” She licked her lips and ran her hand over her hair. “You know me well enough now that you know I’m a fairly well-rounded geek and I never went to a single convention until Nate left me. Not a single one. When I wasn’t worrying about taking care of him and his wants and his needs, I was able to finally do something great for me.”

Her smile went wide and bright. “That con in Atlanta was life-changing. I did things I never would have when I was married. I drove five hours, by myself, to a city I had literally never seen. I walked a mile and a half from my hotel to the con hotel and back, alone, every day.” She laughed an intoxicating laugh. “I walked to that bar in the dark and actually got up the nerve to talk to two guys that I looked up to. I talked to people at the con that I’d never met and I made friends. I got up and sang karaoke in front of two hundred people and I fucking rocked it.. It was like I was the old me again. I had the time of my life...which is what prompted me to go after the other things I wanted in my life...and that’s how I got to meet you.”

That convention made everything happen.

“Well, I’m glad you did it. You deserve to be here.” In my life, in my condo, in my bed.

My phone went off, Clif letting me know that he was waiting in the parking lot. “Clif’s here?” she asked.

“Yep. Let’s get outta here.”

~~~~

Her motel looked nasty even from the outside. I’d heard horror stories, but I hadn’t seen it myself...so when she got out of the truck, I followed her. “So, this is your temporary pad, huh?”

“Yep,” she said, grabbing clothes from the aged wood wardrobe. “Don’t snoop, Jensen.” She disappeared into the bathroom as I started looking around.

“If I snoop, what am I gonna find?” I called.

“A shrine to Misha! Leave it alone! It’s a GISHWHES item!”

I scoffed and shook my head, walking over to her wardrobe and looking through her clothes. “You’re ridiculous!”

“I think you mean ‘abnosome’!” she said as the shower turned on. Another one of Misha’s made up words that caused me to laugh. He’d be so happy.

I kept looking around her room, finding bits of fandom stuff and dead bugs and a picture of a cute little girl smiling in a frame on the bedside table, before finally coming across a familiar white cap. I chuckled as I ran my fingers over the many metal buttons with Supernatural characters and actors on them. I fitted the cap on my head and waited for her as she finished her shower. When she opened the bathroom door, I could see pillows in the tub. She wasn’t joking about the bed bugs. Nasty.

"I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm pretty sure this looks better on me," I said, turning to the mirror behind the TV.

"Of course it does," she agreed. "Everything looks good on you."

"Not sure how I feel about the buttons, though."

“If you don’t like it, don’t wear it!” she exclaimed, jumping to grab it off of my head. Not that she could reach it., especially when I ducked back away from her.

“Nah, I’m gonna hold onto it. Gotta make sure you don’t ghost again. I’ll give the hat back when I’m sure you’re not going anywhere.” I nodded at the door. “Come on, Clif’s waiting.”

She got her shoes on before we headed out to the SUV. She looked cute, in her completely plain clothes and her pink and black sneakers. She looked out the window as we drove toward the studio, biting that bottom lip. Shit, that made me wanna know what that lip tasted like.

She was stuck in her head, I could see it in the way she was chewing on that lip. I couldn’t help wondering what was going on in her head. “You okay, kid?”

“Um, yeah. Why?” It was the first time she didn’t take offense to me calling her ‘kid’. She was definitely in another world.

“You just look like you’re deep in thought is all.” My eyes found her bottom lip and I smirked a little. “You gotta stop bitin’ your lip, Baby Girl. You’re starting to bruise.”

She gasped as her hand shot to her mouth. She immediately pulled her phone out to look at herself in the selfie camera. “Shit. They’re gonna love this in the makeup trailer. Might have to actually put lipstick on Tara.”

“I kinda like it,” I admitted, licking my lips. “Makes it look like you had a lot of fun last night.” I wished she had the kind of fun I was thinking of.

“Well, considering I went home with a married man last night, Ackles, that may not be a good thing. Don’t encourage the rumor mill."

She was right about the rumor mill, but damn, I wanted to do something worth a rumor. I was good at staying out of the tabloids. I knew how to be discreet, but I wanted something with her.

"I think I'm gonna talk to Dee," I told Jared as soon as we were alone, riding toward Abbotsford to shoot the Chicago episode.

"'Bout damn time," Clif said from the front seat.

"She's only been here a month! Shut up!"

Jared laughed and slapped my chest. "Yeah, it's been a month of you pining over her."

"I have not been pining. Who says 'pining'? This isn't a medieval romance. I was trying to be her friend, okay?"

"You were trying to be her friend so you wouldn't have to admit how much you wanna bang her," Jared accused.

"That’s not why I was trying to be her friend!" I shook my head. "Dude, she is...she's got no self esteem. She has no confidence. She's amazing and she doesn't see it, so I thought if I made friends...if someone she admires was able to see her worth...maybe she'd be able to."

"Right," he agreed. "But you also wanted to bang her."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, so? That's not why I made friends with her."

"So, what's the plan? How are you gonna butter her up?" Clif asked. "And how are you gonna butter up the Missus?"

"Danneel doesn't need butter. I'm just gonna ask her to look into Y/n and tell me what she thinks." I looked out the window at cars passing in the opposite direction. "Y/n will be harder. Assuming Danneel gives me permission to pursue it, convincing Y/n that it's real and everything...convincing her to sign up to be my dirty little secret is gonna be...really difficult and I'm not even sure how to make it happen."

"Wow. You sound almost nervous, Ackles."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm trying to not be an asshole. Asking a great woman to be your sanctioned side chick is...not the easiest thing to navigate. I mean, Isabella was-"

"Not anything like Y/n."

"Yeah. I mean, Y/n thinks my marriage is perfect. She said that shit last week. She might not take this-This might destroy her opinion of me and Dee. I don’t know if I want-” I threw my head back onto the headrest. “Shit, I shouldn’t even do this”

“Yes, you should. You need to at least try, right?” Jared said, turning to me fully. “Look, I’m not gonna tease you anymore right now. Gonna be serious. Y/n is shy and sweet and she will never turn you down. Never. The very idea of you being sexually interested in her is going to be mindblowing to her. But...you have to approach it softly. You have to get her completely comfortable with you before you even bring it up to Y/n...or it’ll be too much.”

I opened my mouth to respond, but Jared kept talking. “She is so enamored with you but she gets really uncomfortable when you flirt. So you have to calm that down, approach it softly. Keep workin’ her, but do it with more tact.”

I licked my lips and pulled my phone out, opening my text chain with Dee. “More tact, huh? I’ll try.”

>>When I get done here, I’m gonna call you. Try to stay awake, please, babe.

By the time we got to location, she’d responded with an I’ll try! I went to find Y/n as soon as I got out of the truck and I found her running her hand over the hood of the quieter Impala, looking at it with all the love and admiration that beautiful car deserves. “Stop pretending you haven’t sneaked over and drooled over Baby before,” I said, walking over to her. I put my hand on her back, between her shoulder blades because that’s not so bad. It’s not too much. It’s not overwhelming.

“No, I have,” she admitted, turning and looking up at me. “I’ve just always admired the Impalas from afar. You know how the props guys are about the cars...a lot like you are.” She turned and leaned against the hood. “I get to ride in her. Like...seriously? That’s so amazing.”

“Did you ever imagine just how much sex has happened in the back of this car?” I asked.

She looked down with all of that adorable shyness before pulling herself out of it. “Don’t misquote my character to me, Ackles.”

I laughed a little. “I wasn’t talkin’ ‘bout the show. How many actors or crew members do you think have been in this car after dark just to mess around in the Impala?”

Her face went from shy to innocent in a flash. “I don’t know. How many times have you opened the door and smelled sex?” That innocent thing was an act. Had to be.

It took a few seconds to count them out in my head. “Half a dozen or so.”

“Why are you smirking? Did I miss something?” she asked, and her innocent mask almost fell apart on her.

“Ya know, sometimes I am completely baffled at how innocent you are...especially for a chick who’s got a kid at home.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked, putting her hands on her hips all indignantly.

“Well, you always act completely oblivious when I try to bring up sex in conversation. You pretend like I just asked you what color your shirt is or something...and let us not forget the fact that you woke up in my bed today, and you didn’t even make a joke about morning wood.”

“You think that’s probably by design, Ackles?” I don’t know why it seemed so much less fun when she called me by my last name. Jared had been doing it for years but out of her mouth, it hit a bit wrong. Probably because I wanted to hear her call me 'babe' or 'honey' or…'cowboy'. "You talking about sex forces me to think about you and sex. So for the sake of my own composure, I shut that shit down as fast as fucking possible."

She was too shy to think about me having sex and I was literally daydreaming about having sex with her. Crazy world. “Aw! Somebody’s embarrassed!” I teased, laughing out loud. “Man, I’m gonna get you to flirt back eventually. Tara shouldn’t be the only one who gets to make comments about my ass.”

“Oh, come on!” she shrieked, practically running away from me.

“What did I say, dude?” Jared walked over as she found herself in front of Misha in full Cas garb. “Tact, Ackles! Tact.”

“I…” I hummed and nodded. “I’m tryin’, Jare. It’s just not fuckin’ easy with her. She’s just so...she’s this mix of innocent and...she’s so shy and I just wanna crack open that shell and…”

“Chase her away?”

“I’m not trying to chase her away! I’m just…” I looked over my shoulder at her and Misha. “I don’t know. I can’t not flirt with her. I have to keep trying but...I really wanna see what it’s like when she flirts back.”

“She’ll flirt back when she’s ready. She’s not ready.”

“Right.”

He patted my back and pointed toward the alleyway we were going to be shooting in. “Focus on the job for now. Come back to it later.”

I did what he said, focused on the job and not the way Y/n was flirting so heavily as Tara, not the way she looked so cute sitting on a barrel and kicking her feet. I focused on the job...and so did she, but as soon as we cut for dinner, she was in her head. It seemed like she was doing her best to avoid looking at me, but every time I caught her actually looking at me, I could see where her eyes were...on my lap. I felt a bit of elation at that. Something finally got through.

“She’s thinking about my morning wood,” I whispered to Jared.

“What?!” she exclaimed. “No, I’m not!”

“Jay, leave the poor girl alone.” Jared’s words were soft, just a little bit of a warning on them. Maybe he could see that I was starting to break through to her, I don’t know.

“Yeah, Jay. Leave the poor girl alone,” she agreed with a big smile. That, I liked. Not a large group of folks call me ‘Jay’ and hearing her pretty voice on that single, simple syllable was awesome.

“But she’s so cute when she blushes.” She ducked her head, obviously blushing more. “See? Isn’t that adorable?”

“Oh, screw you, Ackles,” she snapped, the fire in her cheeks moving to her eyes as she glared at me. Not back to ‘Ackles’.

“That an offer? ‘Cause we got some time before we start shootin’ again and-”

“Oh, shut up, you giant child.”

“Hey, you’re the one who keeps checking to see how giant I really am.”

“Oh, my god!” she squeaked, covering her face with her hands. “Jared, please control your boy,” she begged from behind her palms.

He chuckled and smirked, taking a drink of his iced coffee. “You know you’re talking to the wrong guy if you want to control Jensen, right?” He gestured between us, but gave me a high eyebrow. “Because I’m finding this whole situation hilarious.”

She pulled her hands away and looked over at him. “Some friend you are, Padalecki.”

“Oh, he’s a great friend...to me.” I shrugged and winked at her. “I got thirteen years on you, Baby Girl. J-pad is always gonna have my back.”

She stood up and stuck her tongue out at me before stomping away. Pretty tongue. Long, pointed...I wanted to taste it.

“And she called you a child?” Jared commented.

“Nice long tongue though,” I responded, picking up my coffee cup.

“Tone it down,” Jared whispered. “You’re gonna chase her away again.”

“Still too much?”

“Yeah. Just a bit,” he answered, pointedly. Yeah, it was a bit more than a bit, but...what could I do? “She’s sensitive.”

“Yeah, some folks don’t like to be teased so much, Jay,” she said, sitting down.

There it was again. ‘Jay’. I really did like that a lot. I couldn’t hold back the smile that broke out across my face. “All right. I will tone down the teasing. I’m sorry, kid.”

“Okay. Forgiven.” She smiled back and her whole face lit up and my heart just sang over it. “And I’m still not a kid. The other thing is okay, but I’m gonna get upset if you keep calling me ‘kid’.”

“Oh, the other thing’s okay?” Jared asked. “You’re cool with ‘Baby Girl’, but not cool with ‘kid’?”

“Baby Girl makes me think of Criminal Minds. Derek Morgan always called Garcia ‘Baby Girl’. I like it...but ‘kid’ is like...like I’m less than because I’m younger than you?”

“That’s absolutely not how I mean it. Not how I’m usin’ it, I promise.” I licked my lips and leaned forward. I’d have to stay away from ‘kid’ for a while, because I didn’t want her to even think that I saw her as less than. “I just like nicknames and ‘kid’ seemed to be a good one, but I don’t see you as anything less than me.”

She looked down again, but a smile found its way onto her lips. “Okay,” she whispered. I was getting through her shell.

The Kitchen Sink Tags- @flamencodiva @sacriceria @lyarr24 @440mxs-wife @nancymcl @mariekoukie6661 @alwayskeepfightingsweetheart @cosicas-cuquis @queenoftheunderdark @myheartbelongsintz @squirrelnotsam @akshi8278 @muhahaha303 @agirlwithdemonblood @this-is-me19 @mrswhozeewhatsis @leigh70 @maliburenee

[thefirstcourtesan]

Little Joys (Bryce/MC, past Ethan/MC)

Little Joys

By Misha

Disclaimer- Note Mine.

Author’s Notes- So I was inspired by this ask I saw @jerzwriter reblog and how Meredith and Bryce would celebrate international surfing day and I realized Meredith is extra enough that she would celebrate every single little holiday. I took her list of holidays from this site (even if it doesn’t have International Surfing Day on it ���). This is set a year after Book 3. I have a full, complicated history for Meredith (and why she and Bryce took 3 years to be official) but have not written very much of it. All that is relevant for this story is that she and Ethan did have a thing, but never officially, and in the end she chose Bryce but she still had some wariness, commitment issues and they were taking things at her pace. Also, she is on the diagnostic team, but turned down running it and let Tobias take the job instead.

Rating- PG-13

Summary- There is a holiday for everything and Meredith Pierce makes it her mission in life to celebrate them all and to find as much joy as she can.

Word Count- 4170

“You are the only person I know who would schedule a girl’s night on a random internet day,” Jackie grouched as she settled into the sofa of Meredith and Bryce’s apartment. 

June 1- Dare Day

“I think it is fun!” Sienna said brightly, giving Meredith a beaming smile. 

“Sorry, I stand corrected, you are one of only two people,” Jackie aid dryly. She looked at Aurora, “why do we hang out with them?”

Aurora hid a smile by bringing a drink to her lips. “Sorry, Jackie, I think ‘dare day’ is kind of a fun excuse to get together.”

Jackie groaned. “I need new friends.”

“No, you need to do your dare,” Meredith told her, “Now write Tobias a text with ten things you like about him.”

“I can’t believe you are making me feed your boss’s giant ego,” Jackie grouched, but she picked up her phone. “Next year I am checking out your stupid calendar, so I can busy be all year.”

**

June 2- National Doughnut Day 

“Doughnut?” Meredith offered Ethan as she entered his office, a bakery box in her hands. 

He looked up from his paperwork. “Do I want to know the occasion?”

“It’s doughnut day!” Meredith said brightly, “so I picked these up this morning.” 

Jackie might have grouched about Dare day, but she had been pretty happy to receive multiple doughnuts that morning. 

“Of course it is,” Ethan said, rolling his eyes even as he reached into the box. “I assume this is not the only reason you are bothering me?”

There was a fondness in his voice that contradicted his words. Ethan and Meredith might not have worked as a couple, but Meredith knew the gruff man sincerely cared for her. 

“Tobias sent me to remind you that the diagnostic team is going to need temporary help the weekend of June 16-18.” 

Ethan glanced at his calendar. “Oh yes, Because he and Harper will be at a conference and you have vacation booked.” He looked at her, “I can’t persuade you to change your dates?”

“Nope,” Meredith told him, “Bryce and I are going to California. It is International Surfing Day and I am surprising him.”

“Of course it is,” Ethan muttered, “does Lahela enjoy being surprised by random holidays?”

It was a loaded question and they both knew it, but Meredith forced a bright smile. “He does, because he loves me.” It was a low blow and she knew it, but she also didn't care. Ethan had started it. 

Her response hit the mark and Ethan’s face immediately went blank. “Tell Tobias I will take care of the schedule.”

It was a dismissal and Meredith turned to leave, but paused at the door when Ethan called out her name. 

“Meredith.”

She turned around, but didn’t say anything. 

“Thanks for the donut.”

**

June 3rd- National Trail Day 

“This is a perfect Saturday,” Bryce commented with his trademark easy grin, “my favorite girls and a beautiful trail.” 

Kiki rolled her eyes. “You are so corny.”

She was visiting for the weekend, which was one of the reasons that Meredith had planned the hike. The other being that it was National Trail day. 

“You love it,” Bryce said, pulling her into a one arm hug.

“Gross,” Kiki muttered, but she was smiling. 

**

June 4th- National Cheese Day

“Have I ever mentioned you’re my favorite?” Tobias asked as Meredith came into the office carrying a cheese platter. 

“Meredith is everyone’s favorite,” Harper said with a warm smile, “what is the occasion?”

“National cheese day,” Meredith answered, setting the platter on the table, “it is also national applesauce cake day.”  She pulled a cake tin out of her bag. “Kiki and I made this last night.”

Bryce had had to go to work after their hike, so she and Kiki had been on the other. The younger girl had grouched a bit but she had actually  seemed to enjoy the activity. 

“I don’t care what Ethan says, I think all these national days are delightful,” Tobias told her, reaching for a piece of cheese, “I am especially fond of ‘dare day’, I’m thinking of printing that text from Varma and framing it on my office wall.” 

Meriden laughed. “She’ll murder us both.”

“Might be worth it,” Tobias joked, “but seriously Meredith, thank you for the snacks. It really improves the mood around here.”

Harper smiled. “Tobias  is right, I know I appreciate  your guestrues and I can’t wait to try that cake when I have my coffee later.”

“Did someone say cake?” Damien Blake, the fourth member of their diagnostic team, asked as he entered the office. His eyes widened as he saw the cake and cheese platter. “Cheese too, this is the best day.” He grinned at Meredith. “I assume, we have you to thank?”

Meredith nodded, pleased by the warm reaction of her colleagues. 

**

June 5th- World Environment Day 

“I heard this was your idea,” Ethan commented as he approached Meredith outside the hospital where employees were cleaning up the grounds. 

“I might have suggested it,” she admitted, noting  with pride at how many people had signed up for the activity, “it is World Environment Day.”

“So naturally, an employee trash pick up day makes sense,” Ethan agreed, he looked at the crowd, “it looks like there were a lot of volunteers.”

Mereidth smiled. “I guess a lot of people here care about the environment.”

“Or perhaps, it is the organiser,” Ethan said softly, “I think you underestimate your effect on the morale of this hospital, Meredith. I might grouch about your obsession with pointless holidays, but I have been told it brings smiles to a lot of people's faces.” 

Meredith blushed. “That is why I do it,” she said softly, “a hospital can be a bleak place and if I can bring a little joy to people’s lives, then I want to do that.”

“It is what makes you special,” Ethan told her softly, gazing at her with an intensity that made her bite her lip and look away. 

“I just do what I can,” she said softly, “and I should get back to the garbage clean up or Jackie is liable to start chucking it at my head if she thinks I am slacking off.” 

She hurried away from Ethan. She didn’t regret choosing Bryce a year ago, but sometimes she was very aware of what might have been. 

**

June 6th- National Gardening Exercise Day 

“This community garden is so cool,” Inez commented, looking around. “Thank you for inviting me along, Meredith.”

“You’re welcome,” Meredith said with a smile, “our apartment doesn’t have any green space, but I love gardening. Sienna and I try to come here at least twice a month.”

Sienna had been working that day, so Mereidth had to find someone else to accompany her on National Gardening Exercise Day. Inez had seemed like a natural choice and the other woman had eagerly agreed. 

“I can see why,” Inez commented, “there is something  very relaxing about working with nature. I will definitely be back.” 

**

June 7th- National Chocolate Ice Cream Day

“What’s this?” Meredith asked in surprise as Bryce handed her a bag. She looked inside, it was full of cartons of chocolate ice cream. 

“Happy National chocolate ice cream day,” he told her with a smile. 

She shot him a surprised look. 

“I peaked at your calendar,” he admitted, “I felt like someone should surprise you for once.” 

Meredith put the bag on the counter and threw her arms around Bryce, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he told her, holding her close, “and I am so in awe of you. You go out of your way to make every day special,for the people around you and I just wanted to give you back some of that energy.” 

Meredith blinked back tears, feeling unexpectedly emotional. She snuggled against Bryce’s chest, soaking up the feel of him. 

After a moment, he pulled away teasingly, “not that I ever get sick of holding you, but my grand gesture loses some of its impact if it melts all over the counter.”

**

June 8th- Best Friends Day 

“I approve of all the ice cream,” Sienna commented, lifting a spoon to her mouth, “Bryce did good.”

Mereidth smiled, “he did. And luckily today is National Best Friends Day, so I don’t have to eat it all myself.” 

She bit her lip. “But I had another reason for asking you over.” She got up and grabbed her purse, taking a box out and handing it to Sienna. 

Sienna looked at it and her eyes widened. “Really?” 

“Well, I haven’t taken it yet,” Meredith yet, “but I have been feeling a little off and emotional and my periods are always all over the place, so…” 

“Oh My God!” Sienna said, jumping up to hug Meredith, her bowl of chocolate ice cream forgotten. “You have to take the test now!”

Meredith nodded. “Yeah.” She took the box back. “I just didn’t want to do it alone and I didn’t want to tell Bryce yet.”

“He’ll be thrilled,” Sienna assured her, “as long as you are.”

“I am,” Meredith said,”I mean I will be, if I am. I want this, Sienna. I told you I was going to tell Bryce that I was ready for more when we are in California. So if this is real… I want to wait until then.”

Sienna squeezed her hand. “I think that sounds perfect, now go take that test and let me know if I am about to be an aunt!”

**

June 9th- National Strawberry Rhubarb Pie Day

“There’s my favourite doctor,” Nurse Sarah commented, greedily eyeing the pie in Meredith’s hands. 

“I heard that,” Bryce commented, detouring towards the nurses station. “I thought I was your favourite, Sarah.” 

She rolled her eyes. “Meredith brings me pie, what do you do for me?” 

“I am a big fan of Mereidht’s pie,” Bryce agreed with a lecherous grin that had Meredith smacking him. 

Sarah shook her head. “I don’t know how you put up with him.”

“Hey!”

“He is very pretty,” Meredith said with a grin. 

“You can have your pretty boy, I’ll stick to pie,” Sarah told her, “it’s a lot less trouble. What flavour did you bring me?” 

“Today is National Strawberry Rhubarb Pie day,” Meredith answered, “Sienna and I went strawberry picking yesterday and then baked the pie.” 

“You and Dr. Trinh are treasures to this hospital,” Sarah told her, eagerly taking the pie. 

“In that, we are in agreement,” Bryce said, placing a kiss on Meredith’s head, “Meredith is definitely a treasure.”

Sarah smiled at him. “And that attitude is hey you are my third favourite.”

“I‘ll take it,” Bryce said with an easy grin, “and now that you have your pie, I am going to steal our mutual favourite doctor away.” 

“I’ll warn everyone to avoid the supply closets,” Sarah quipped, causing Bryce to laugh and Meredith to blush. 

**

June 10th- Ball Point Pen Day

“Thanks for agreeing to this,” Meredith told Tobias as she unpacked the boxes of ballpoint pens. 

“Yes, because it was a hardship to agree to a clever marketing strategy for the diagnostic team that I didn’t have to do any of the work for,” Tobias said with a smile, “I definitely should be the one thanking you, Meredith. This is a great idea.”

“It’s not too cheesy?” She asked. She would never have suggested it when Ethan was in charge of the diagnostic team, but Tobias was not Ethan. 

“It is definitely cheesy,” Tobias told her, “but it is also clever. I had been meaning to order us pens for a while, handing them out on Ball Point Pen today, just makes it better. Plus the whole hospital waits to see what your holiday of the day will be, so these will definitely be widely received.” 

“That is not true,” Meredith said, trying not to blush, “I don’t think that many people pay attention to my silly little holiday thing.”

“Oh, they definitely do,” Tobias told her, “and it’s brightened up this whole place. People have even been searching the internet and taking brts over which holiday you will choose for what day.”

Meredith blushed. She had no idea that people were taking it seriously , she had just started doing it for fun. 

“I mean it when I say you have brightened this place up,” Tobias told her, “and on that note, lets go hand out pens.”

** 

June 11th- National Corn on the Cob Day

“So Meredith goes all out every single day?” Elijah commented, a cob of corn in his hand, “apparently I am missing out.”

He had come for a visit and Meredith had decided to throw a cook-out to celebrate, as part of National Corn on the Cob Day. 

“That is one way to put it,” Jackie said with an eye-roll, “or we could argue you are the lucky one because you miss all the corniness.” 

“Technically, I am not missing the corniness, just everything else,” Elijah said and Jackie groaned while everyone else laughed. 

“I hate you all,” Jackie muttered, even as she grabbed another ear of corn. 

**

June 12th- Red Rose Day

Organising enough red roses to give a single rose to every single on duty employee at Edenbrook was not an easy task. She’d had to do-ordinate with HR to get a list of who would be on schedule and she’d gotten a couple of the maintenance guys to help her meet the florist and distribute them. 

Although Meredith had been surprised by how easy it had been to get the flowers themselves. The florist had even offered a steep discount when she’d explained why she wanted them. 

“What a sweet idea,” the woman at the shop had said, “I am sure it will brighten everyone’s day and working at a hospital, they definitely need it.” 

And so Meredith got the flowers she needed and made sure they were distributed to all the employees. She hadn’t bothered to assign herself one, the point was doing this for others, which is why she froze when she got to the diagnostic office and saw the table literally covered in roses. 

“Did people give theirs back?” She asked, a little crushed by the thought. 

“Why don’t you go look?” Tobias asked with a grin. 

Meredith took a cautious step, realizing that there were various arrangements and not just loose flowers and that many of them had cards. 

Her eyes watered as she read all the cards. There was a boquet from Bryce (which was definitely unnecessary because he hadn’t already surprised her with one at home that morning), one from the diagnostic team, from Jackie, Aurora and Sienna, from the nurses,  from HR and even one from Ethan. 

“This is too much,” she said, taking in all the flowers. 

“So says the lady who made sure every single on-duty employee got a rose and who frequently brings in baked goods,” Tobias told her, “you deserve a little appreciation, Meredith, and apparently most of the hospital thought so.”

Meredith just nodded, taking in all the flowers (although mentally she was already figuring out how to divide them between in-need patients, but the cards she would keep and treasure). 

**

June 13th- Pigeon Appreciation Day

“Why are we throwing bread at winged menaces?” Zaid asked with his usual frown. 

“Because it is pigeon appreciation day,” Meredith said, although honestly she was shocked Zaid had agreed to accompany her to the park. Although, she knew it was mostly because  of Inez. 

Bryce had been going to go with her, but he got called into surgery and everyone else was working. She’d mentioned to Inez that she would be going alone and an hour later Zaid had appeared and grumpily told her he would be going with her to the park. 

So here they were.

“There really is a day for everything,” Zaid muttered and frowned as a bird came too close, “can’t we appreciate them from a distance?” 

**

June 14th- National Nursing Assistant Day 

“Thank you so much, Dr. Piece,” Hannah, one of Edenbrook’s nursing assistants, said as she took the package of baked goods that  Meredith handed her. Meredith and Sienna had teamed up to make care packages for all the nursing assistants for National Nursing Assistant Day. 

“No, thank you for everything you do,” Meredith told her, “you and the other nurses assistants are one of the reasons Edenbrook runs so smoothly.”

Hannah smiled shyly. “It is really sweet of you to say so. Can I tell you something?”

“Of course.”

“The other NAs and I, we were more excited to see what you would do than what the hospital would do,” Hannah confessed, “the lunch the hospital provides is mice, but we all really love it when you and Dr. Trinh bake.” 

Meredith felt a warmth fill her at the compliment. “Thanks for telling me that, Hannah, I really appreciate it.”

**

June 15th- National Nature Photography Day

“Do I dare ask what you are doing?”

Meredith turned at teh sound of the familiar gruff voice. 

“I am trying to take pictures of birds for national nature photography day,” she told Ethan, “but it turns out nature photography is not my calling.”

“I guess you’ll have to give up your dreams of a career in photography and settle for medicine,” Ethan said in a dead-pan voice. He sighed. “Hand me the camera.”

Meredith did as he asked, handing over Bryce’s precious camera (she swore he had winced when she’d asked to borrow it, even though he tried to hide it). 

Meredith watched as Ethan evaluated the camera. “This is a nice piece of equipment,” he said after a moment, “I take it, it’s not yours?”

“No, it’s Bryce’s,” Meredith answered, “he likes to takes pictures as a hobby.” 

“Photography can be a rewarding hobby,” Ethan agreed, fiddling with the settings on the camera. He looked at the tree in the courtyard critically, obviously considering his angles. A few minutes later, he handed the camera back to her. “I think I got some Swiss story shots.”

“Thank you,” Mereidth said sincerely, “I know you think my holiday of the day thing is silly.”

“Perhaps,” Ethan agreed, “but it is important to you.”

Several unspoken things hung in the air before Ethan broke the silence. “If I don’t see you before tomorrow, have a good trip.”

Meredith nodded. “Thanks, Ethan. For everything.”

He looked at her for a long moment before turning and walking away. 

Meredith watched him go and then turned her attention back to the camera. Now that she had her photos, she should get it back to Bryce so he could stop secretly fretting. 

**

June 16th- Take a Road Trip Day

“Bryce,” Meredith shook her boyfriend gently and then with more force, “Bryce, wake up.”

He blinked up at her. “What time is it?”

“6 a.m.”

Bryce sat up with a scowl. “Meredith, baby, I love you more than anything, but why am I awake at 6 a.m on a day when I don’t have to work until 5?” 

Even as he complained, he was reaching out to grab her and settle her on his lap. 

“Because we’re going on a trip,” Meredith explained, “today is take a road trip day. I mean, technically we’re flying, but I have a rental car waiting for us, so I think it counts…”

“Babe, I have to work all weekend,” Bryce reminded her.

“So, actually, you don’t,” Meredith told him, “I arranged for you to have the weekend off ages ago. Julie in HR helped clear your schedule and also agreed to keep it a surprise. Harper helped too and Dr. Tamaka.”

“I guess it helps to be the hospital's favorite doctor,” Bryce teased, “and obviously I am referring to myself, not the woman who keeps the whole hospital in baked goods.” 

“It has it’s uses,” Meredith agreed, smiling down at him, “tomorrow is International Surfing Day and I couldn’t imagine my surfer boy trapped in Boston, so we are going to Califronia.”

Bryce shook his head in awe. “I love you so fucking much. You are amazing, you know that?”

“I like it when you tell me,” Meredith admitted, leaning forward to kiss him. 

Bryce gripped her hips as he deepened the kiss. “How long do we have before we have to leave for our flight?”

“Long enough,” Meredith assured him, rocking into him with purpose, enjoying the groan he let out. 

“Good,” Bryce said, his grip tightening as he suddenly reversed their positions so that he was on top of her. “Because I want to show you just how amazing I think you are.”

**

June 17th- International Surfing Day

“Are you sure you don’t want to surf with me?” Bryce asked as he prepared his board. 

Mereidth shook her head. “No, I am happy to watch.” 

When she had booked the trip, she had planned on surfing with Bryce, but then things had changed. So instead she would play spectator. 

Bryce nodded and disappeared into the waves. 

They had a satisfying day on the beach. Meredith enjoyed the sun and the sand and watching her hot surfer boyfriend. 

Later, when Bryce had finished for the day and they had returned to their hotel, he pulled her in for a long, steamy kiss. “Thank you for doing this for me,” he told her, holding her close, “the fact that you went to all this trouble, I still can’t believe it.”

“I would do anything for you, Bryce,” Meredith told him sincerely. She took a deep breath and then gazed into his eyes, “international surfing day isn’t the only reason I planned this trip. I’m ready, Bryce, I’m ready to be all in, forever.”

It had been almost a year since he had told her what he wanted for their future and then promised to wait until she wanted it too, until she was ready to go all in. 

Bryce’s eyes widened and then he pulled her towards him, kissing her deeply and hungrily. 

“I love you,” he told her. He suddenly let go of her and quickly crossed the room to his suitcase, pulling out a familiar black box. 

Meredith gasped. She knew he had a ring, but she hadn’t imagined he would bring it with him on this trip. 

“When you told me about this trip, I guess I hoped it might mean you were ready for this,” Bryce told her, taking her hand before popping the ring box open, “Meredith Pierce, will you marry me?”

“Yes!!!!” Meredith said immediately, her eyes filled with tears. She had spent a lot of time afraid of the future, of commitment, but now standing here with this man who loved her in a way she had never imagined possible, she knew that love was worth the risk. 

She was all in. Forever.

**

June 18th- Father’s Day

“Are we going fishing or out for sushi?” Bryce asked the next morning as they lay cuddled up in bed. He grinned at Meredith’s frown, “8 told you, I check your holiday site. I am prepared.”

Meredith shook her head. She loved this man so much. “I actually had a more mainstream holiday in mind,” she told him, wiggling out of his arms to grab the card she had out on her night table the night before,

Bryce took it with a puzzled look, his eyes widening as he saw the Father’s Day card. “Mer?”

“Open it,” she encouraged, watching him carefully.

She watched as he carefully opened the card, memorizing the expression on his face as he spotted the sonogram she had tucked in there. 

“You’re pregnant?” He asked hesitantly, his eyes glued to the sonogram. 

“6 weeks,” Meredith confirmed, “it’s not why I planned this trip.  

I had this weekend planned long before that, it was just a nice little bonus.”

Or she hoped he would see it that way.

“I’m going to be a dad,” he said in awe and then he let the card fall from his hands as he grabbed her and kissed her deeply. She sank into the kiss, wondering if it was possible to be happier than she was at this moment. 

“I love you,” she told him when they finally broke apart for air.

“You are everything,” he told her, his hand moving to rest on her belly, “I can’t believe how happy you have made me.”

“Hopefully as  happy as you have made me,” she told him, “because I feel like I am so happy I might burst.”

“That makes two of us,” Bryce assured her and then he sighed, “although, there is one downside, I was really looking forward to that sushi—ooof.” He groaned as Meredith hit him with a pillow. “You’ll pay for that.”

He grabbed her by the waist and tackled her to the bed, both of them giggling, all holidays forgotten as they got lost in each other and the life they were building together. 

The End 

[seeingteacupsindragons]

Canvas, Adhesive, Finger painting :)

One day, us Tumblrites gotta take a stand against "weird question names that require you to consult the question list 1000 times when answering because ???"

Anyway.

Canvas: Do you ever "prep" your fics with outlines or warmups before you start writing, or do you just dive right in?

Yeah, no. Very occasionally, I will make a notepad document I call "squishy red crap" (because it is the viscera and organs and lifeblood of a story all kind of blended up into mush) before writing a thing.

They, uh, look like this. After I clean it up.

I prefer to write the way I prefer to read, which is that I slowly put things together by what details I have, and editing is when I clean this up into a sharp, pointed blade to actually accomplish something.

Adhesive: When you write, do you usually "stick" to one character or story for a while, or bounce around various characters and ideas?

I do now, because I have less time for things, but I used to have at least two or three things running at a time so I could take breaks when my brain wanted to focus on a different type of project for a while. But now it's harder to make time for all of that at once, and I'd like to finish things, so I focus more.

Finger Painting: Share a small snippet from your earliest work (or the earliest that you can get back to). How would you rewrite it today? Either share the rewrite itself or just describe how you'd do it.

HRM. Okay, I'm going to do this in two parts: The oldest thing I can find on my computer, and the oldest thing I have hanging around on paper. But I'm not retyping the paper, so you'll have to see a pic for that.

This is the oldest thing I currently have handwritten. I was 12 when I wrote this, so have some mercy. I actually tried to throw this out at one point, but my former best friend saved it and got it back from her in college, at which point it was more funny to keep than anything.

The first most major changes I would make are start this with Misha in the bathroom mirror sort of explaining what all led her to get there.

Actually, no, the first would be getting rid of these names, which are far from the worst at the time, but ah, I had a "faux Japanese name" thing for a long time.

Mostly, this just has to be cleaned up. There's a very stilted, childish voice I can hear inexpertly telling this story.

Although props to little me for shoving "futile" in there properly at age 12. Just hanging out there, lmao.

This is the oldest thing I can copy-paste from my computer. I was 14 or 15 at the time, and only have this because I'd been emailing a friend updates as I wrote them. The 16.5k words I have weren't all that was written, but it's what I have salvaged.

“Hey, cutie. What are you doing around here?” Seitou whispered suggestively to me. “Oh, screw you, Seitou,” I shot back. “You know I’m taken.” “Aw, but sweetie, you’re just too cute. That girl doesn’t deserve you,” he answered, sweet as honey, but I could taste the venom under it. “Unfortunately, I’m not interested in other males. So find someone else to prey on,” I snapped. Seitou has had a fixation on me for as long as I can remember. Even though I’ve told him I am not interested in guys from the second he started hitting on me, he seems to be too thick headed to get it. I am completely straight, and I have a long-term girlfriend to prove it. Reisha is the most unbelievably beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, supermodels included.  From her long black hair to her perfectly almond-shaped blue eyes. I’m not the only guy infatuated with her. Seitou is a completely different story. Besides being apparently gay, he has never had a known relationship, even with another guy. I have to admit; even though I’m straight, - which means don’t take this the wrong way- he is pretty decent looking. He has shaggy brown hair that is just a little long. And his piercing green eyes unnerve me just a bit. Myself, well, I consider myself average looking. The name’s Hakiro. I can’t figure how I nailed both a hot male and female. My own black hair never behaves the way it should, my brown eyes are a pretty bland color. Sure, I’m definitely my own person, never really fitting in anywhere, but will someone explain how that’s attractive? But even though I don’t fit in much, I have plenty of friends. As I was mulling over these thoughts, I noticed Reisha walking up to me. “I have something to tell you.” She said, sounding slightly grim. Even though I was completely secure in our relationship, her tone concerned me. My instincts proved to be functioning correctly. “I think we should end this.” She announced.

Okay, aside the fact that good lord is there some grammar fuckery going on here, and the names, good lord the names, there's some interesting growth you can note over the two-three years between these. Obviously I, ahhhhhh, had read some BL by then. Because wow is this BL tropey from the time.

But it also just starts straight in the action this time. It's much more active, despite the fact that Hakiro still spends a bunch of time navel gazing. Hakiro is pretty voicey--it's not the best voice, but you can start to see my real knack for dialogue and mimicking speech patterns starting to pop already. The, ah, dialogue tags are not as good. But there's some good things happening on this front that will continue to develop as I continue to write.

I think I would (after changing all the names), importantly change this story to make Hakiro a clearly bisexual kid who doesn't know that yet instead of this gay-for-you thing, because Jesus Christ is he bisexual.

I would also...not start the story here? I don't think this is where the story of Seitou and Hakiro's romance even starts anyway. And almost nothing about this scene makes sense.

Also, the way this is written just has so much unnecessary exposition and description that could be handled much more expertly.

[amberjazmyn]

instagram

𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮 - instagram

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 - legit none, just some fluffy couple instagram posts

𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 - a series of instagram posts from users alexandercalvert and yourusername.

𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮 - i just wanted to get another chapter out so i thought this would be a cute idea but if anyone has any ideas, please let me know as i am struggling to come up with original ideas rather than recycling older chapters. 

masterlist part two

- - - 

liked by yourusername, misha, jaredpadalecki, jensenackles, genpadalecki and 89,4k others

alexandercalvert who needs wine tastings when i have my own private tastings every day👅

view all 200 comments

yourusername alcal has gone rouge y'all 

alexandercalvert you like it

misha i don't know if i should be proud or slightly disgusted...

alexandercalvert misha honestly, this isn't my proudest moment right now so i don't mind if you say that you're disgusted 

jaredpadalecki who knew alcal was a kinky bastard? 

jensenackles i'm mildly amused by this and i feel ashamed of myself 

genpadalecki gorgeous couple 

liked by alexandercalvert, jensenackles, danneelackles512, robenedict, dicksp8jr and 76.5k others

yourusername aunty y.n duties with the eldest ackles baby 🤍

view all 300 comments

alexandercalvert you and jj are just adorable together babe

jensenackles and i thought jj was a mini mummy but, she's more of a mini you, y.n 🤍

danneelackles512 this is such a sweet photo, y.n. jj absolutely adores you and is always excited to hang out with you 🤍

robenedict one of the best aunties in the world

dicksp8jr am loving the matchy match you two! 

liked by alexandercalvert,jaredpadalecki, jensenackles, misha, ruthie_connell, robenedict, genpadalecki and 99.9k others

yourusername hey, alcal, should we get married alexandercalvert? 

view all 1,000 comments

alexandercalvert i'm so pumped baby! 

jaredpadalecki hold up, pause, what now? i think i may have missed a couple of chapters! 

jensenackles hold the fucking phone, what?!

misha are y'all serious? cause if you're joking i'm gonna be so mad! 

ruthie_connell it's happening, stay calm everybody! 

robenedict wait, is there seriously going to be another spnfamily wedding?!

genpadalecki omg what?

liked by yourusername and 2,350k others

alexandercalvert y.n y.m.n y.l.n you are the love of my life and my soulmate. 

you are the only person that i've loved this seriously like this. i am in love with you so much that i think half of my brain is actually just images of you and the future we're going to have together. you are my favourite person in the entire world and the best distraction when my mind gets too busy. you always know how to make me happy and laugh. but you still remind me that i don't have to be happy all the time. you always remind me that i can cry, get anxious, get scared, etc. you never force me to always be one thing or feel one thing all the time. i knew the day i first met you before we reunited on supernatural that i was going to fall in love with you and one day marry you. you take care of me in your own way and it's now the only way i know how to be taken care of. you have your own special way of calming me down, treating me, loving me and it's the perfect way for me and only me. i love the way your eyes and nose crinkle up when you smile or have a laughing fit. i love how you are so good at your job as an actress but as an author and activist. i love the way you pull your hair back with one of the many colourful claw clips that you have an extensive collection of. i love how you try to blow strands of hair from you face when i mess it up on purpose. i love how you distract me when we're supposed to be filming a take. i love how, even though you find it difficult at first, you always maintain eye contact when you're in conversation with somebody you don't know. i love how kind you always are to everyone, no matter if they were rude or if they were nice. i love how positive you are. i love how you take care of your nieces and nephews, i can already see what an amazing mother you'd be to our future children. i love how fearless you are. i love the way you always steal my clothes. i love the way you always wear the same colours that i do even if it's on purpose or unintentionally when it's not my own clothes you're wearing. i love how you always have to wear at least one of my own clothing items in your outfit when we're on set in vancouver because it truly does look better on you always. i love the way you always defend me when anyone feels the need to say things that you don't like as though they expect you to be disgusted by me. i love how you aren't embarrassed by the weird things i do. i love how you love me for me and nothing else. 

view all 1,000 comments

yourusername i love you even more alcal and i cannot wait to marry you, you gorgeous man

jaredpadalecki y'all were serious! congratu-fucking-lations! 

jensenackles my phone is held and i am shocked! congrats y'all 

misha you were very serious and i am so happy! congratulations you two

ruthie_connell i am so happy that you guys were serious! congratulations my lovelies

robenedict i'm so happy there's another spnfamily wedding! 

genpadalecki i'm screaming!!!!

danneelackles512 omg this is so exciting! congratulations alex and y.n! 

- - - 

this was so much fun to write again but for alexander calvert and now, part two will be up shortly as well! 

ok bye ily xx

wc; 1018

[thelibrarylesstrektraveled]

Nightingale Chapter Ten - The Brand New Day

Summary: Jensen Ackles seemed to have it all. A hit television series fifteen years running, a budding music career and a stunning wife. To the casual observer, his life was perfect. But it was a façade. No more real than the supernatural world created on a soundstage.

That day on the lake had started with uncertainty, but when he pulled you from the water everything became clear. The truth was, he’d been the one drowning.

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Jensen x Reader, Jensen x You

Characters: Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Genevieve Padalecki, Misha Collins, Reader

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Hospitals, Drowning, Fluff, Angst, Smut, unprotected sex

Chapter Ten: The Brand New Day

Word Count: 3117

Author’s Notes: This is a complete work of fiction about a real life person. The circumstances are totally made up and are in no way a commentary on the fantastic Jensen Ackles or his family.

This is also a unique reader insert story as I have given the reader a physical description including hair color, eye color and body type. Hopefully you can still lose yourself in the utter fantasy where Jensen is the hero and you are ripe for rescuing!

Additional Notes: The response to this story has been beyond my expectations! You guys have been the best! Thank you for continuing to read my work and encourage me, its kept my eye on the prize :)

Additional Warnings: I would be remiss if I didn’t say right upfront that this chapter has all kinds of sexy pay off in it. Seriously, its all there so if that’s not your bag or if you are not of age, steer clear. No hard feelings.

Masterlist

Nightingale Masterlist

It took exactly twenty-seven minutes to get from your front door to Jensen’s and you were grateful for every second as you poured over recent events. You’d spent the past few weeks desperately trying to figure out who you were. Devoted every waking hour to chasing the ghost of your past self only to have it slip through your fingers like smoke. Now you knew why. You’d gone about it all wrong, put your focus in the wrong place. You’d been so distracted by what was missing that you were blind to gift the universe had dropped right in your lap.

Maybe that was why you seemed so unhappy in your old life. Maybe that was why the prospect of getting your dream job sent you into a panic. Maybe you had a habit of failing to recognize the good things that were right in front of you. Regardless of the reason, Jensen was right, the choice was yours. If you were brave enough to make it.

Something was released in that moment, and you felt free. Suddenly, it didn’t matter that you hated your apartment or that you couldn’t remember your high school graduation. All of this worry over your past had nearly robbed you of the possibility of a future. You’d kept yourself in limbo, unable to go back and unwilling to move forward.

You were through waiting, through worrying. You chose Jensen and with every passing moment you felt stronger. So confident that you were nearly drunk with it. By the time Jensen unlocked the door, you were ready to take on the world.

He watched you shrug out of your jacket and hang it up in the entry closet, then followed suit. He wasn’t sure what to do now. He knew what he wanted to do; he’d known what he wanted to do for weeks now. He wanted you in every way there was to want another person. Now that he knew you felt the same way, he was nervous. He felt like a teenager, even his palms were sweaty. It was ridiculous!

“Big day, huh?”

“Great day.”

“Yeah?” he asked, eyeing you.

You lit up in a smile, “Yeah.”

Jensen smiled back softly, searching your blue eyes for any hint of regret. “Are you sure?”

You felt weight of all those unasked questions just under the surface of his simple query. He was always worried about you, always taking care of you. That was just part of who he was, but this was different. He was as keenly aware of the change as you were and always the gentleman, he wanted to make sure you were good with it.

This was the dance, the prelude. The nervousness that came hand in hand with risk. This was good, old fashioned, do you like me check-one-for-yes-two-for-no.

Who would have guessed that Jensen Ackles, who had millions of fans weak in the knees with no more than a wave and a smile, would be nervous?

God, he’s adorable!

“I’ve spent so much time being unsure about everything from my name to the day of the week that I’ve been absolutely paralyzed. And I’ve been blind, and I’ve been stupid. I’ve wasted all of this time chasing my past thinking that it would give me answers and magically fix everything. Instead, I found that I was paralyzed there too.”

You reached up and cupped his face in your hands, riding the sudden wave of boldness. “I don’t care if I ever remember another thing about my past. I love you and I’m not going to let another moment pass me by without saying it. I’m not going to let you spend another second of your life wondering how I feel. I don’t want to waste any more time. Do you?”

The words were hardly out of your mouth before he kissed you. The pure heat and passion of it lit a fire deep in your belly. It was one of those kisses that short circuited your brain and switched your thoughts off, leaving only your instincts to respond. You clung to Jensen’s solid shoulders for balance while he kissed you senseless. He was expertly maneuvering that tongue of his in ways that were utterly distracting and promising of things to come. You didn’t realize you’d forgotten how to breathe until your lungs started to burn right as he pulled back.

He grinned, that Winchester-esque grin at your slightly dazed expression. His thumb ran over your glistening bottom lip that was swollen from his attentions. “I love you too.”

Your heart soared and another feeling of rightness clicked into place. You couldn’t help but repeat Jensen’s earlier words back to him, “Are you sure?”

Jensen could be incredibly quick, if properly motivated. In a one swift motion, he swept you off your feet. His hands scooped you up right under your backside, causing you to yelp in delight! You wrapped your legs around his waist as he ran with you to the bedroom, playfully growling into your ear.

You laughed out loud as he dropped you onto the bed, making your bounce slightly. In another impressively fast move, he was hovering over you. His biceps straining in his shirt sleeves as he held himself above you. His intense gaze stoking the flames.

He traced a single finger down your cheek in a touch that was so tender it had your breath catching all over again. “I’m sure.”

Time was all about perspective really. It truly only existed because humans decided to mark its passing. On the floor of your closet, you felt the weight of it. It was a precious commodity that you’d wasted on useless endeavors. Here, in Jensen’s bed it seemed to disappear altogether. Either that or the man had an endless supply because he seemed to be in no rush.

He savored you, inch by tantalizing inch. With anyone else, it would have made you wonder if they felt the same desire you did. But with him, there was no lack of heat. It was as if he were experiencing the sensation of touch for the very first time and testing it on you.

Those hands of his!

Those clever, talented hands that were always so warm traveled over your body. They found secret places that worked like a series of tumblers. Every time he tripped one, your pulse would pick up pace and he was that much closer to unlocking something that was quickly building inside you.

All of that, and you were both still fully clothed.

Jensen was still exploring that ultra-sensitive spot just behind your ear when you began tugging on his shirt in earnest. Your slim fingers found the bottom hem and worked it up while you pressed hot kisses along his jawline, finally capturing his bottom lip and sucking hard.

The shift was immediate, and he groaned in appreciation. In one of those simple moves of his that you found so sexy, he pulled at the back of his t-shirt and worked it up over his head. Your eyes traveled over the solid wall of his chest and the broad muscles of his shoulders. Those delectable freckles were scattered across his collarbones and down the tanned lines of his abdominal muscles.

If God truly made people for one another, Jensen must have been made for you because there wasn’t a single part of him that didn’t appeal.

Your hands wandered up those impressive biceps and he grinned. “Better?”

“Mmm hmm,” you nodded.

He brushed his lips over yours then cocked an eyebrow as he traveled down to kneel at your feet. His hands slid down your body and stopped at the suede, knee-high boots you wore over your leggings. First the left, then the right. The intimate action of sliding the down the long zipper that rested against your calf was far more erotic than it should have been. It was Jensen, everything he did was just so sexy!

When he finally ridded you of your boots and jeans, he simply stared. The line of you was gorgeous! Graceful. Long and silky smooth. Your hips gently flared out and your simple black panties rode high over the curve.

“I’ve been dreaming about these legs.” He ran a hand up the back of your leg and hitched at your knee. “God, they’re gorgeous… just go on for miles.”

“Meters,” you said, struggling to concentrate as he continued to explore.

“Meters?”

“Canada,” you managed to breathe out just as his lips found the inside of your thigh. “It’s meters in… Oh God!”

Jensen gently trailed hot kisses up the satiny skin of your inner thigh, making note of how the sleek muscles there flexed slightly at his touch. “They’re miles to me, Sweetheart.”

He found your center and sucked you right through the already damp fabric. You would have arched right off the bed if he hadn’t been holding your hips firm. Every one of your nerves fired, lighting across your body like and electrical storm. You couldn’t keep track of exactly what he was doing, your mind was overwhelmed by the sensations he was coaxing out of you. At some point you realized your underwear were gone and there was nothing to prevent him from having complete access to you.

He watched the play of emotions on your face as he slipped a single, thick finger deep inside of you. Then another. He explored deeper, mapping you from the inside out. Finding more of those elusive tumblers and tipping them over. Watching you come apart in his hands was the single most erotic thing he’d ever witnessed. Your breasts strained against your sweater as you got closer to that edge. Those incredible legs of yours came up around his neck and your head fell back on a moan of his name. The last tumbler fell, and you followed right behind it.

You were still floating when he was over you again. He was kissing you again, his hands caressing you through the fine cashmere. His thumb grazed your nipple and you gasped into his kiss. Again and again, over and over as the heat in your core started to build. In a miraculous twist, your thoughts came back just enough for you to gain a tiny bit of control. You wrapped one of those legs he liked so much around his hips and maneuvered him so that he was flat on his back.

You straddled his pelvis, enjoying the feeling of him already hard and straining against his jeans. He looked up at you in wonder as you drew your shirt over your head and tossed it to the ground, leaving you in a silk bra and a grin.

His hands came up your sides to span your ribcage. You shook your hair so that it fell over your shoulders and cascaded over him when you leaned down to press an open-mouthed kiss over his thundering heart. When his hazy green eyes, found your blue ones, you winked. He was at your mercy as you trailed kisses down his chest and stomach. You stopped just above his waistband, your fingers made quick work of the belt buckle and when you tugged the jeans down his legs, his briefs came down too.

Jensen certainly didn’t disappoint. Built didn’t quite capture it. Narrow hips, well-muscled thighs, and a rock-hard length.

God, he’s so sexy!

You didn’t realize you’d said that aloud until his rough voice reached your ears, “I’ve got nothing on you, Sweetheart.”

When you touched him, his eyes shuttered, and his breath came out in a telling hiss. You closed your hand around him and stroked, earning a groan of appreciation with each pass. Velvet over steel.

“Christ, Y/N… you gotta stop, or this’ll be over before it even gets started.”

“We haven’t started yet?” you teased, reaching behind your back to undo your bra clasp.

He cupped both your breasts at once, palming you with delightful friction. You’d always thought yourself lacking in that department, always wished you had more of a bustline. The hint of latent self-consciousness was whisked away when Jensen gently massaged your breasts, dwarfing them with size of his hands.

He shook his head in wonder, “Perfect. How can anyone be so perfect?”

“I should be asking you that question.”

Softly, with reverence, he kissed each breast in turn then kissed your properly again. Laying you down in the middle of the mattress, his lips grazing past your earlobe to whisper.

“You are the most beautiful, gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen.” He kissed down your jaw.

“So sexy.” He kissed down the hollow of your throat.

“So perfect.” He kissed across your collarbone.

Your breathing labored as he continued his path down the very center of your chest and his fingers slipped inside your core once more. Your hands raked urgently through his hair, and you bucked up against him.

Suddenly, his lust blown eyes locked with yours and time expanded again. “If you don’t believe that by now, then I haven’t been doing my job.”

Somehow you managed to form a coherent sentence. “You always do your job.”

“Damn right,” he growled and buried himself to the hilt with one solid thrust.

There he stayed, unmoving for a moment. His face buried in the crook of your neck, his ragged breath heating your skin. Your fingers dug into the broad muscles of his back, and you let yourself thoroughly enjoy the feeling of Jensen pinning you to the mattress. The fantastic, masculine weight of his body atop yours. The thickness of him filled you up entirely.

You didn’t need your memories to know that you had never felt as complete as you did in that moment.

Then he moved. Slowly at first, building up his pace, finding that perfect angle. The rhythmic thrusting underscored the primal sounds coming from you both. The friction caused a frenzy. Teeth grazed sweat-slicked skin. Names fell from lips like prayers.

You shifted to take him deeper still. You wrapped your legs around him, hooked your ankles behind his back and he found the sweet spot.

Your toes curled, “God… Jay, don’t stop.”

He kissed you deeply, his tongue swept inside your mouth. Groaning as you tightened and fluttered around him. He had you on the edge of oblivion again, and you weren’t there alone. “Come with me baby… come with me.”

You couldn’t have denied him if you tried. The climax hit you both together. The world exploded and shattered around you, leaving the two of you clinging to each other in its wake. Adrift, floating in a sea of stars and bliss. Two pieces made whole.

You would find each other twice more that night before sleep finally claimed you in sated exhaustion. Neither of you dreamed, for when you woke, reality would be far better than anything your sleeping minds could conjure.

The following morning, you slept late. But to your surprise, Jensen did not. The bed was much bigger without him to share it with. You stretched beneath the covers; a feline smile curved your lips as you felt a reminder of last night’s activities aching deep within. The tantalizing smell of fresh coffee had you up and out of bed. You snagged one of Jensen’s button-down shirts off the back of his chair and padded out to the kitchen.

He was at the breakfast bar in black track pants and a t-shirt. His hair was damp, and he’d already shaved. His brow furrowed slightly as he hunched over the laptop on the counter. Finally feeling your gaze on him, he looked up and broke into a wide grin.

“Hey, there she is!” He was on his feet and kissing you before you could blink. He beamed down at you. “Morning, pretty girl.”

“Morning,” you said, wrapping your arms around his neck. “You look chipper today.”

“So do you,” he replied, resting his hands on your hips. “You’ve got that morning after glow about you.”

“Some people call it bed head.”

“I call it gorgeous.” He stole another kiss before releasing you. “Coffee?”

“God, yes.”

When he turned around with the mug in his hands, he stopped and stared. You were perched on one of the barstools, wearing one of his favorite flannels and presumably nothing else. Those legs he liked so much were bare and crossed at the knee, bringing all kinds of ideas to mind. Your dark hair was a tangled cloud and a pretty, pink blush colored your cheeks.

Those bright, bluebonnet eyes shone with promise. It was a brand-new day.

You raised your eyebrows expectantly at him, “Am I going to have to barter for that coffee?”

A hint of Dean Winchester flashed across his face, “What are you offering?”

“The pleasure of my company,” you held up a finger in anticipation of his enthusiasm. “After breakfast.”

His counteroffer was a platter of croissants with apricot jam from your favorite bakery along with fresh cut fruit.

You closed your eyes in appreciation as you savored the buttery layers of pastry. “If this is why you’re up so early, I approve.”

He chuckled and took a seat across from you, “Actually, that’s just a bonus. How do you feel about the mountains?”

You peered at him over the rim of the coffee cup, “I’m a fan.”

“I know this little place, cabin in the woods. Mountains all around, billions of stars at night. It’s only a couple of hours drive. How about we take a road trip?”

The man was full of surprises! “You’re whisking me away to your cabin in the woods?”

He waggled his eyebrows, “If we leave now, there’s a good chance we’ll get snowed in. We could be stuck up there for days. Just you and me.”

“I’ll pack a bag.” You leaned up on your elbows and kissed him loudly, smiling into it. “I just have one request.”

“Mmm. Name it.”

Your lips brushed the curve of his ear, “Can we have sex before we leave? I don’t think I can keep my hands to myself for a whole two hours.”

Those words had him instantly at attention. Vibrating like a plucked guitar string. “You’re going to be the death of me.”

“Christ,” he growled when your teeth nipped at his earlobe.

“There are worse ways to go.”

You caught a look of challenge on his face before he plucked you up and tossed you over his shoulder. You could only giggle as he marched towards the bedroom, swatting you playfully on your backside.

He laughed too. Sex came in many flavors; fast, slow, hot, sweet, intimate, even detached. But for the first time, it was fun.

[vendettamuses]

⚔️ Why are you here? ⚔️

RAYN WILDER

⚔️ To make things right

You've known for a long time this world is cruel. The fact that life isn't fair might be the first thing you ever learned. You've been hurt deeply, dealt a great injustice that's been engraved time and time again in the scars that litter your existence. Victimhood is a home to you, a familiar place that you always seem to find yourself returning to. Perhaps you've come to believe this is because you're cursed, that it's just your fate to suffer. In your worst moments, you probably think you earned this, because the idea that this is just makes it all hurt a little less. That's not true. Don't ever let yourself think this is your fault or convince yourself it's what you deserved. Remember the very first time you were wounded and recall the child who cried out and screamed it was unfair, who knew that the world should be kind and just and that it is unacceptable that it is not. It hurt so badly then because you were wronged and you understood that. Maybe others have tried to convince you since that what you went through was only natural, that you had to accept this is how things are, that your trauma was just part of growing up. Don't be fooled. There's a reason you've made it this far, that you've persevered in spite of everything. It's because you're the only one who can start to make things right. You deserved better—the child inside you has always known that. That's why you seek to escape into fantasy, to reject the harsh truths you don't feel strong enough to face. It's fine to indulge in these respites, as they are necessary to survive, but don't let them be what you live for. Hang onto your rage, but do not let it make you bitter—instead, dedicate your life to bringing this world a little bit closer to the one you deserved. Give yourself the love and kindness you were denied when you needed it most, and extend that gift to others. Do not ever let yourself grow complacent, becoming the kind of adult you always hated who shrugs their shoulders and says "that's just the way it is." It doesn't have to be. So, be the kind of adult you wished you had, the one who would have gently wrapped you in their arms and protected you from harm. Use your intimate understanding of injustice to live in opposition of it and start to heal yourself along with the world's brokenness. Make recovery what redeems every moment of misery and don't waste another minute of your life regretting that it hasn't been a happier one. Your existence is not worth less because of its struggles or suffering. You deserve to be saved. Don't let yourself be the one who denies you that.

Tagged by: @warpaiint (thank uuuuuu!)

Tagging: @maximuses (Adam) @ineffablemuses (Toni) @fledermuse (Phil) @audaciious @motleysort (Misha) @goblxneyes @fitzjxmes​ @rathalascendant​ @unlikely-valentine​ @unrclypirxte​ (Beth <3) and anyone else who feels up for it!

[savetooru]

balancing act

one of my new year's resolutions was to do a light workout everyday for three months and i am currently on day sixty-four of the challenge. (two-thirds of the way there!) wish i could say i got to this point out of a real concern for my well-being, but in truth all i have is pride. if i'd been left to my own devices, i wouldn't have made it past the first week of trying. no matter how great it feels to maintain healthy habits i always struggle to commit longterm. the only thing that keeps me bolting upright out of bed at 11:30 p.m. to lift weights is the fact that i publicized my counter on an account with, like, fifty of my friends max. 1 social media is definitely a disease but it’s crazy what i can get myself to do with some forced accountability. i’m a simpleton at heart. proclaiming goals feels herculean because i’m deathly afraid of looking lame, or coming off too headstrong. i've got to make an honest effort at whatever comes out of my mouth or i'll end up feeling super embarrassed for no reason. it's a bad case of a big ego. exceeding expectations is the quickest route to seeming like you've got your shit together, so i'm prone to keeping my ambitions to myself in the hope of... i don't even know. being perceived as larger than life and endlessly indifferent about it? i forget how cool it is to just do the thing you said you would.

still, it's tricky. holding myself to a higher standard often feels like walking on a tightrope. i know too much pushing could take me out of the race completely, but too little won't get me anywhere at all. i wanna believe i'm over the bulk of my hang-ups, but god is it hard to unlearn the fear of wanting. 2 like, when you’re a kid they tell you that if you say a wish out loud it won’t come true, and that's the kind of thing that stays with you forever. but realistically speaking? i'm pretty sure i’ve only ever gotten what i wanted by clamoring for it actively— often desperately. much to think about... in any case, i feel stronger physically and am psyched about this! the whole thyroid issue i have made it so i could never hold on to muscle before i started taking medication; i'm happy to report this is no longer true.

don’t know if i’ve got the space for it, but i’m thinking about starting another accountability thread for drawing practice every week. i’m worried it’ll interfere with getting my workouts in since i still have a month to go before the all-clear, but i really want to move forward this year; take this bravado that doesn’t feel like my own and run with it as far as i can.

1: none of whom would judge whether i’m updating it consistently anyway lol 2: my friend misha wrote a really thoughtful post about this exact sort of feeling recently and it's been stewing in my brain for a hot minute ><

[wigglebox]

It saddens me that there's discourse posts going around about Misha’s past behaviour around joking (or otherwise) attraction to men. On the one hand I get it, if “gay lol” is the entire punchline to your joke it leaves a bad taste in my mouth too, but by the same token I've always appreciated how openly affectionate the cast are with each other. Not just Misha but obviously especially Misha. I think being limited to joking around only with people you would ACTUALLY sleep with is very limiting and also very weird to be honest if we stop arbitrarily enforcing it along gender lines and go right down to individuals. Being secure enough in your relationships with people to play around a little is an enviable position and I don't want him to suddenly dial all of that down out of fear people will misinterpret further. Close enough everyone thinks you're dating and so close because you both desperately wish you were dating are both great and one does not invalidate the other. I've BEEN both for different people and mutually played it up with people I had zero sexual attraction to on both axes of “attracted to this gender” and “not attracted to this gender”. Men should be allowed to kiss men for whatever reason they like regardless of what they are currently labelling themselves.

i understand where this criticism is coming from, it's very easy to read "straight = enemy" and that everything that's happened was just a 'lol that's gay' joke.

but i don't think anything was ever malicious coming from him. and people were fine with him being unlabeled either way and making those jokes, but now he's forced to label himself and now there's a panic that everything he's done was just a big 'lol fucking gaaaayyy' joke, which i understand, but i also don't agree with at all.

he really validated queer fans of this show, and that's not malicious. he engaged with us, fought for cas' story, etc etc. he provided safe spaces, always wanted us to have a good time, and helped spawn more communities because of it.

it's unfair, imo, this specific criticism.

and if he really is a 0 on that scale and as straight as straight can be, i do actually find it comforting that he has no issues being as affectionate with other men. it's hard finding straight men to be like this, for FEAR of being called 'gay'. he clearly didn't care. i agree, men of any sexuality, any number on the scale, any whatever queer whatever they are, should be allowed to hang all over each other, give a lil' smooch, good hugs, be affectionate, etc etc.

it's hard to say either way. it's like our eyes are reading one thing but our hearts feel something different re: his sexuality but the fact of the matter is publically, he happens to be straight. that's it.

he can't go into nuances. he can't get into a discussion about it anymore. so we're left with the options that 'straight' is a shield and defense, or 'straight' is legitimately honest to god where he lands and, nuance or not, that's that.

regardless, the things that endeared him to us over the years don't change.

[trektraveler]

Nightingale

Chapter Ten: The Brand New Day

Summary: Jensen Ackles seemed to have it all. A hit television series fifteen years running, a budding music career and a stunning wife. To the casual observer, his life was perfect. But it was a façade. No more real than the supernatural world created on a soundstage.

That day on the lake had started with uncertainty, but when he pulled you from the water everything became clear. The truth was, he’d been the one drowning.

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Jensen x Reader, Jensen x You

Characters: Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Genevieve Padalecki, Misha Collins, Reader

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Hospitals, Drowning, Fluff, Angst, Smut, unprotected sex

Chapter Ten: The Brand New Day

Word Count: 3117

Author’s Notes: This is a complete work of fiction about a real life person. The circumstances are totally made up and are in no way a commentary on the fantastic Jensen Ackles or his family.

This is also a unique reader insert story as I have given the reader a physical description including hair color, eye color and body type. Hopefully you can still lose yourself in the utter fantasy where Jensen is the hero and you are ripe for rescuing!

Additional Notes: The response to this story has been beyond my expectations! You guys have been the best! Thank you for continuing to read my work and encourage me, its kept my eye on the prize :)

Additional Warnings: I would be remiss if I didn't say right upfront that this chapter has all kinds of sexy pay off in it. Seriously, its all there so if that's not your bag or if you are not of age, steer clear. No hard feelings.

Series Masterlist

It took exactly twenty-seven minutes to get from your front door to Jensen’s and you were grateful for every second as you poured over recent events. You’d spent the past few weeks desperately trying to figure out who you were. Devoted every waking hour to chasing the ghost of your past self only to have it slip through your fingers like smoke. Now you knew why. You’d gone about it all wrong, put your focus in the wrong place. You’d been so distracted by what was missing that you were blind to gift the universe had dropped right in your lap.

Maybe that was why you seemed so unhappy in your old life. Maybe that was why the prospect of getting your dream job sent you into a panic. Maybe you had a habit of failing to recognize the good things that were right in front of you. Regardless of the reason, Jensen was right, the choice was yours. If you were brave enough to make it.

Something was released in that moment, and you felt free. Suddenly, it didn’t matter that you hated your apartment or that you couldn’t remember your high school graduation. All of this worry over your past had nearly robbed you of the possibility of a future. You’d kept yourself in limbo, unable to go back and unwilling to move forward.

You were through waiting, through worrying. You chose Jensen and with every passing moment you felt stronger. So confident that you were nearly drunk with it. By the time Jensen unlocked the door, you were ready to take on the world.

He watched you shrug out of your jacket and hang it up in the entry closet, then followed suit. He wasn’t sure what to do now. He knew what he wanted to do; he’d known what he wanted to do for weeks now. He wanted you in every way there was to want another person. Now that he knew you felt the same way, he was nervous. He felt like a teenager, even his palms were sweaty. It was ridiculous!

“Big day, huh?”

“Great day.”

“Yeah?” he asked, eyeing you.

You lit up in a smile, “Yeah.”

Jensen smiled back softly, searching your blue eyes for any hint of regret. “Are you sure?”

You felt weight of all those unasked questions just under the surface of his simple query. He was always worried about you, always taking care of you. That was just part of who he was, but this was different. He was as keenly aware of the change as you were and always the gentleman, he wanted to make sure you were good with it.

This was the dance, the prelude. The nervousness that came hand in hand with risk. This was good, old fashioned, do you like me check-one-for-yes-two-for-no.

Who would have guessed that Jensen Ackles, who had millions of fans weak in the knees with no more than a wave and a smile, would be nervous?

God, he’s adorable!

“I’ve spent so much time being unsure about everything from my name to the day of the week that I’ve been absolutely paralyzed. And I’ve been blind, and I’ve been stupid. I’ve wasted all of this time chasing my past thinking that it would give me answers and magically fix everything. Instead, I found that I was paralyzed there too.”

You reached up and cupped his face in your hands, riding the sudden wave of boldness. “I don’t care if I ever remember another thing about my past. I love you and I’m not going to let another moment pass me by without saying it. I’m not going to let you spend another second of your life wondering how I feel. I don’t want to waste any more time. Do you?”

The words were hardly out of your mouth before he kissed you. The pure heat and passion of it lit a fire deep in your belly. It was one of those kisses that short circuited your brain and switched your thoughts off, leaving only your instincts to respond. You clung to Jensen’s solid shoulders for balance while he kissed you senseless. He was expertly maneuvering that tongue of his in ways that were utterly distracting and promising of things to come. You didn’t realize you’d forgotten how to breathe until your lungs started to burn right as he pulled back.

He grinned, that Winchester-esque grin at your slightly dazed expression. His thumb ran over your glistening bottom lip that was swollen from his attentions. “I love you too.”

Your heart soared and another feeling of rightness clicked into place. You couldn’t help but repeat Jensen’s earlier words back to him, “Are you sure?”

Jensen could be incredibly quick, if properly motivated. In a one swift motion, he swept you off your feet. His hands scooped you up right under your backside, causing you to yelp in delight! You wrapped your legs around his waist as he ran with you to the bedroom, playfully growling into your ear.

You laughed out loud as he dropped you onto the bed, making your bounce slightly. In another impressively fast move, he was hovering over you. His biceps straining in his shirt sleeves as he held himself above you. His intense gaze stoking the flames.

He traced a single finger down your cheek in a touch that was so tender it had your breath catching all over again. “I’m sure.”

Time was all about perspective really. It truly only existed because humans decided to mark its passing. On the floor of your closet, you felt the weight of it. It was a precious commodity that you’d wasted on useless endeavors. Here, in Jensen’s bed it seemed to disappear altogether. Either that or the man had an endless supply because he seemed to be in no rush.

He savored you, inch by tantalizing inch. With anyone else, it would have made you wonder if they felt the same desire you did. But with him, there was no lack of heat. It was as if he were experiencing the sensation of touch for the very first time and testing it on you.

Those hands of his!

Those clever, talented hands that were always so warm traveled over your body. They found secret places that worked like a series of tumblers. Every time he tripped one, your pulse would pick up pace and he was that much closer to unlocking something that was quickly building inside you.

All of that, and you were both still fully clothed.

Jensen was still exploring that ultra-sensitive spot just behind your ear when you began tugging on his shirt in earnest. Your slim fingers found the bottom hem and worked it up while you pressed hot kisses along his jawline, finally capturing his bottom lip and sucking hard.

The shift was immediate, and he groaned in appreciation. In one of those simple moves of his that you found so sexy, he pulled at the back of his t-shirt and worked it up over his head. Your eyes traveled over the solid wall of his chest and the broad muscles of his shoulders. Those delectable freckles were scattered across his collarbones and down the tanned lines of his abdominal muscles.

If God truly made people for one another, Jensen must have been made for you because there wasn’t a single part of him that didn’t appeal.

Your hands wandered up those impressive biceps and he grinned. “Better?”

“Mmm hmm,” you nodded.

He brushed his lips over yours then cocked an eyebrow as he traveled down to kneel at your feet. His hands slid down your body and stopped at the suede, knee-high boots you wore over your leggings. First the left, then the right. The intimate action of sliding the down the long zipper that rested against your calf was far more erotic than it should have been. It was Jensen, everything he did was just so sexy!

When he finally ridded you of your boots and jeans, he simply stared. The line of you was gorgeous! Graceful. Long and silky smooth. Your hips gently flared out and your simple black panties rode high over the curve.

“I’ve been dreaming about these legs.” He ran a hand up the back of your leg and hitched at your knee. “God, they’re gorgeous… just go on for miles.”

“Meters,” you said, struggling to concentrate as he continued to explore.

“Meters?”

“Canada,” you managed to breathe out just as his lips found the inside of your thigh. “It’s meters in… Oh God!”

Jensen gently trailed hot kisses up the satiny skin of your inner thigh, making note of how the sleek muscles there flexed slightly at his touch. “They’re miles to me, Sweetheart.”

He found your center and sucked you right through the already damp fabric. You would have arched right off the bed if he hadn’t been holding your hips firm. Every one of your nerves fired, lighting across your body like and electrical storm. You couldn’t keep track of exactly what he was doing, your mind was overwhelmed by the sensations he was coaxing out of you. At some point you realized your underwear were gone and there was nothing to prevent him from having complete access to you.

He watched the play of emotions on your face as he slipped a single, thick finger deep inside of you. Then another. He explored deeper, mapping you from the inside out. Finding more of those elusive tumblers and tipping them over. Watching you come apart in his hands was the single most erotic thing he’d ever witnessed. Your breasts strained against your sweater as you got closer to that edge. Those incredible legs of yours came up around his neck and your head fell back on a moan of his name. The last tumbler fell, and you followed right behind it.

You were still floating when he was over you again. He was kissing you again, his hands caressing you through the fine cashmere. His thumb grazed your nipple and you gasped into his kiss. Again and again, over and over as the heat in your core started to build. In a miraculous twist, your thoughts came back just enough for you to gain a tiny bit of control. You wrapped one of those legs he liked so much around his hips and maneuvered him so that he was flat on his back.

You straddled his pelvis, enjoying the feeling of him already hard and straining against his jeans. He looked up at you in wonder as you drew your shirt over your head and tossed it to the ground, leaving you in a silk bra and a grin.

His hands came up your sides to span your ribcage. You shook your hair so that it fell over your shoulders and cascaded over him when you leaned down to press an open-mouthed kiss over his thundering heart. When his hazy green eyes, found your blue ones, you winked. He was at your mercy as you trailed kisses down his chest and stomach. You stopped just above his waistband, your fingers made quick work of the belt buckle and when you tugged the jeans down his legs, his briefs came down too.

Jensen certainly didn’t disappoint. Built didn’t quite capture it. Narrow hips, well-muscled thighs, and a rock-hard length.

God, he’s so sexy!

You didn’t realize you’d said that aloud until his rough voice reached your ears, “I’ve got nothing on you, Sweetheart.”

When you touched him, his eyes shuttered, and his breath came out in a telling hiss. You closed your hand around him and stroked, earning a groan of appreciation with each pass. Velvet over steel.

“Christ, Y/N… you gotta stop, or this’ll be over before it even gets started.”

“We haven’t started yet?” you teased, reaching behind your back to undo your bra clasp.

He cupped both your breasts at once, palming you with delightful friction. You’d always thought yourself lacking in that department, always wished you had more of a bustline. The hint of latent self-consciousness was whisked away when Jensen gently massaged your breasts, dwarfing them with size of his hands.

He shook his head in wonder, “Perfect. How can anyone be so perfect?”

“I should be asking you that question.”

Softly, with reverence, he kissed each breast in turn then kissed your properly again. Laying you down in the middle of the mattress, his lips grazing past your earlobe to whisper.

“You are the most beautiful, gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen.” He kissed down your jaw.

“So sexy.” He kissed down the hollow of your throat.

“So perfect.” He kissed across your collarbone.

Your breathing labored as he continued his path down the very center of your chest and his fingers slipped inside your core once more. Your hands raked urgently through his hair, and you bucked up against him.

Suddenly, his lust blown eyes locked with yours and time expanded again. “If you don’t believe that by now, then I haven’t been doing my job.”

Somehow you managed to form a coherent sentence. “You always do your job.”

“Damn right,” he growled and buried himself to the hilt with one solid thrust.

There he stayed, unmoving for a moment. His face buried in the crook of your neck, his ragged breath heating your skin. Your fingers dug into the broad muscles of his back, and you let yourself thoroughly enjoy the feeling of Jensen pinning you to the mattress. The fantastic, masculine weight of his body atop yours. The thickness of him filled you up entirely.

You didn’t need your memories to know that you had never felt as complete as you did in that moment.

Then he moved. Slowly at first, building up his pace, finding that perfect angle. The rhythmic thrusting underscored the primal sounds coming from you both. The friction caused a frenzy. Teeth grazed sweat-slicked skin. Names fell from lips like prayers.

You shifted to take him deeper still. You wrapped your legs around him, hooked your ankles behind his back and he found the sweet spot.

Your toes curled, “God… Jay, don’t stop.”

He kissed you deeply, his tongue swept inside your mouth. Groaning as you tightened and fluttered around him. He had you on the edge of oblivion again, and you weren’t there alone. “Come with me baby… come with me.”

You couldn’t have denied him if you tried. The climax hit you both together. The world exploded and shattered around you, leaving the two of you clinging to each other in its wake. Adrift, floating in a sea of stars and bliss. Two pieces made whole.

You would find each other twice more that night before sleep finally claimed you in sated exhaustion. Neither of you dreamed, for when you woke, reality would be far better than anything your sleeping minds could conjure.

The following morning, you slept late. But to your surprise, Jensen did not. The bed was much bigger without him to share it with. You stretched beneath the covers; a feline smile curved your lips as you felt a reminder of last night’s activities aching deep within. The tantalizing smell of fresh coffee had you up and out of bed. You snagged one of Jensen’s button-down shirts off the back of his chair and padded out to the kitchen.

He was at the breakfast bar in black track pants and a t-shirt. His hair was damp, and he’d already shaved. His brow furrowed slightly as he hunched over the laptop on the counter. Finally feeling your gaze on him, he looked up and broke into a wide grin.

“Hey, there she is!” He was on his feet and kissing you before you could blink. He beamed down at you. “Morning, pretty girl.”

“Morning,” you said, wrapping your arms around his neck. “You look chipper today.”

“So do you,” he replied, resting his hands on your hips. “You’ve got that morning after glow about you.”

“Some people call it bed head.”

“I call it gorgeous.” He stole another kiss before releasing you. “Coffee?”

“God, yes.”

When he turned around with the mug in his hands, he stopped and stared. You were perched on one of the barstools, wearing one of his favorite flannels and presumably nothing else. Those legs he liked so much were bare and crossed at the knee, bringing all kinds of ideas to mind. Your dark hair was a tangled cloud and a pretty, pink blush colored your cheeks.

Those bright, bluebonnet eyes shone with promise. It was a brand-new day.

You raised your eyebrows expectantly at him, “Am I going to have to barter for that coffee?”

A hint of Dean Winchester flashed across his face, “What are you offering?”

“The pleasure of my company,” you held up a finger in anticipation of his enthusiasm. “After breakfast.”

His counteroffer was a platter of croissants with apricot jam from your favorite bakery along with fresh cut fruit.

You closed your eyes in appreciation as you savored the buttery layers of pastry. “If this is why you’re up so early, I approve.”

He chuckled and took a seat across from you, “Actually, that’s just a bonus. How do you feel about the mountains?”

You peered at him over the rim of the coffee cup, “I’m a fan.”

“I know this little place, cabin in the woods. Mountains all around, billions of stars at night. It’s only a couple of hours drive. How about we take a road trip?”

The man was full of surprises! “You’re whisking me away to your cabin in the woods?”

He waggled his eyebrows, “If we leave now, there’s a good chance we’ll get snowed in. We could be stuck up there for days. Just you and me.”

“I’ll pack a bag.” You leaned up on your elbows and kissed him loudly, smiling into it. “I just have one request.”

“Mmm. Name it.”

Your lips brushed the curve of his ear, “Can we have sex before we leave? I don’t think I can keep my hands to myself for a whole two hours.”

Those words had him instantly at attention. Vibrating like a plucked guitar string. “You’re going to be the death of me.”

“Christ,” he growled when your teeth nipped at his earlobe.

“There are worse ways to go.”

You caught a look of challenge on his face before he plucked you up and tossed you over his shoulder. You could only giggle as he marched towards the bedroom, swatting you playfully on your backside.

He laughed too. Sex came in many flavors; fast, slow, hot, sweet, intimate, even detached. But for the first time, it was fun.