#online cheap invitations

[mauricemylittlemeowmeow]

*deep sigh* i wanna cosplay as the sacrificial maiden from le sacre

[wackykracker]

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[ellierenae]

SUPER UNIQUE writing ideas for hobbyists and professionals looking for fun, personal projects to get their inspo back

get a fictional pen pal (ask your other writer friends!) and spend time decorating envelopes, picking out a handwriting style, maybe buying a cheap perfume/cologne that smells like your character to really get to know them and feel their presence. if you have hand tremors or bad handwriting like me, you can choose a handwriting font for them and print their letters out!! more examples: save the dates, wedding invitations, birthday cards, party invites, etc.

use old calendars in character (there are many "expired" planners on sale around the end of the year, usually August) personally, i use them to record major life events like first band tours, trips abroad, holidays, birthdays... even trash pickup days and when they forget to roll out the bins!

sketch floor plans this can be on graph paper if you have the know-how when it comes to scaling down, but there are also tons of simple apps that allow you to both create the floor plan a builder would use and add furniture like an interior decorator. some even let you rotate them afterwards and see the furniture and walls burst to life in 3D! you can think of them as the sims but where everything is actually to scale

make an architectural model if you have some scrap cardboard, paper, and glue, you can easily bring the floor plan you just made to life (you'll need practice if you want to get really fancy with it of course! window panes and railings are the gnarliest part for me, haha)

make a playlist as your character maybe the most accessible one on this list, you can make the playlist your character listens to. sometimes this can be fun and surprising, like when my little guy Possum from Violence Without Plot is covered in tattoos and plays punk music on stage but listens to nothing but spa music to wind down between shows

write something your character can see this one is so weird to summarize but what i mean is like... a school essay for your teacher character to grade. cryptic street signs warning about danger by the lake. a memorial plaque beneath a statue. a character's online blog. a few of the cards in a grandmother's recipe box. a business card for a smooth-talking lawyer. things you can write that make everything feel so textured and real

these are all things i do on the daily, and it makes my life as a writer a thousand times more joyful and fulfilling. so have fun, be safe, and don't forget to unplug the hot glue when you're done <3

[badlywritingmagazine]

Wanna help a by-and-for transfem journal?

Wanna get involved?

Thank you everyone for your interest so far! If you have a sec, I’ve written a quick post about a few ways you can help. 

Lili Elbe, painted by Szív királynő, serving “journal reader” realness Do you have trans female mates?

Let your girl friends know. Share it amongst your networks. 

Can you read? 

Wonderful. Subscribe to this substack to be notified when an issue is released. 

Can you think?

If you’re a trans woman and you have feelings about something, send it to us. If you’re developing an idea, come chat with us over email (or arrange a phone call) and let’s figure it out together. 

Do you sell books and zines? 

Wonderful. Email me. Stock it. Perfect. I can also send you a poster version of our invitation to submit to print out. 

Have you written?

If you’re a trans woman who writes about things relevant to our lives, send it to me. If it is online and you worry that it won’t stay up forever, it’s affecting your job and life prospects, or that it is a reflection of its time and not 100% wise anymore, send it to me and get it archived. Archiving is part of the goal here. We’re not uncurated, but that doesn’t mean you should shrug and let the internet, time, transmisogyny and linkrot eat your hard work. 

If you’re a trans woman with jobs and obligations and you don’t like having your essay ‘Why dickgirls should commit more assassinations’ or ‘transgender materialism: towards a de/coterminous understanding of post tipping point transmisogyny’ or whatever attached to your name then send it to me and get it re/published under a pseudonym.

If we get a large number of submissions like this we will publish it as a separate supplement, but else it will come as a section within WBM.

Do you know grants?

Rates for unfunded zines and pamphlets suck. We want to pay the women well. Let us know if you know of funds or grants you think we fall under. We’ll be sending off applications. 

Can you help us host a launch party in a major city?

We envision low-cost evening events with discussion, trans women, and piles and piles of essays to talk about. (Can we crash on your couch?) We’re based in the UK, but are happy to come anywhere Ryanair goes where there’s a willing audience. 

Got an idea I don’t have? 

Ultimately, I want to keep this dirt simple. Essays come in, paper goes out. No columns, shite graphics. Couple core editors. Schedules loose enough to spend half the year depressed and still get it out. Stolen printer paper. Something that won’t collapse after two years. Posterity. 

That said, if you have an idea (and maybe if you want to do it), email us. Think you know enough people to get this translated and shipped somewhere else? Can you translate and know of a non-English language transfeminist text that’s not got much attention in the anglosphere? Maybe we can submit an application for a grant and distribute your translation? Understand distribution better than me? Do you have the wherewithal to manage a personals board? Something else? Anything except an agony aunt section. I’ve called dibs on that one. 

Do you have agonies? Issues? Want bad advice?

Write to the agony aunt. writingbadlymag snail symbol gmail dot com.

Do you have something to say which won't make a whole essay but is still worth saying?

Write a letter to the editor. Same email.

Addendum: Can you help us set up a website?

Websites we think are beautiful are dirt simple. Low-tech Magazine has a beautiful low-energy website. Filmmaker Margot McEwan has a lovely fitting website. Any thoughts or suggestions should be sent to the same email.

(update: we're all set now! Check out badly.press!)

See a good stack cutter?

If you see a cheap paper stack cutter for cheap, let me know. :)

Thanks all!

Forthcoming posts: information for writers, extracts from the issue.

[overtake]

Was on a train from Berlin to Amsterdam after Euro quarters and thought what if backpacking Daniel (late 20s, mild crisis about what he wants from life has led to him bumming around Europe) and football fanatic Max (just finished university, his teaching job begins next school term) were also on a train from Berlin to Amsterdam after Euro quarters

Daniel’s greasy curls are matted against his oily face and he can still catch pungent whiffs of last night's nauseating adventures, despite the two showers with gritty bars of hotel soap he’d taken before running for this train. His hair has dried down gross and stringy, crushed against the hood of the jumper he should not need in July. Suffice it to say, he is not looking nor feeling his best, and it manifests in his arms trembling as they weakly attempt to throw his oversized duffle bag onto the train rack.

“Jesus fuck,” he mutters. He’s never been this hungover in his life, probably. His mouth tastes like stale beer and his eyes feel like sandpaper, and he’d really like his body to stop shaking.

“Do you need help?” A voice says from behind him, sounding lightly amused at his suffering. He turns — too quickly, very bad idea for his dizziness — to see a guy around his height but twice as broad, an orange Dutch national team kit stretched tight across his wide shoulders and showing off the round shape of his soft chest. There’s remnants of last night’s face paint still on edges of his cheekbones, the heavily smeared lines vaguely resembling what was once Holland’s flag. Blond-brown hair pokes out the edges of a garish bucket hat, and a crowd of friends in their own patriotic attire behind him are observing them with interest.

How these guys escaped the Euros viewing less fucked up than an Australian watching the sport for the first time is beyond Daniel’s comprehension, but he’s too grateful for the assistance to do much more than grunt an assent and thank you as the guy reaches up and pushes Daniel’s bag up the final few centimetres.

Daniel heaves out a grateful breath and collapses into the open seat below his settled bag, prepared to curl up against the window and contemplate all his life decisions on the six hour train journey and attempt to not spew in a public and embarrassing manner.

Dutch guy glances over at his friends, who have taken up three of the four seats at a table, and then, insanely and without invitation, seats himself right next to Daniel.

“Big night last night?”

Daniel stares at him for half a second, trying to make his brain come online enough to form words. “Uh, yeah. Was in the fan zone. Don’t think I stopped drinking until two hours ago.”

The guy offers him a big, crinkly smile. “Oh, same. Haven’t slept yet.”

“How are you so put together?” Daniel asks. He grimaces as the train begins to move, throwing one arm over his eyes and squeezing them tightly shut until the motion sickness eases ever so slightly. “I’m going to die, I think.”

“Practice,” the guy says solemnly, patting Daniel’s shoulder sympathetically, then letting it linger for a few seconds longer. Oh. Oh. Daniel’s too hungover to even think about the movement involved in sex right now, but like, yeah. This guy is big and strong and hot, and he’s quietly pleased with himself that he can pull even looking and smelling like this.

“I might need some of your training,” he says, flashing a big smile and then remembering the food stuck between his teeth that he couldn’t get out with brushing, floss long lost in the depths of his hellhole bag. He purses his lips together quickly, trying to hide the evidence.

Hot Dutch boy doesn’t seem to notice anyway. He just pulls a water bottle from his blue backpack, propped carefully on the fine hair dusting his delicious thighs, and offers it to Daniel. There’s a fancy luggage tag on his bag, and Daniel steals a glance at the MEV spelled out in delicate gold letting. Very cute, him branding a cheap backpack like that. “Thirsty?”

“Very,” Daniel says, gratefully taking the bottle — opened, he notices, which means these little plastic coils have been sucked between the plush pink of this guy’s lips and rested against the cute freckle decorating the top one — and swallowing down a long gulp.

“I’m Max, by the way,” he says when Daniel is done drinking, careful to ensure his fingers brush against Daniel’s hand when he takes the water back. He’s not aiming for any subtly in his intentions, particularly not with the intense stare he’s directing at where Daniel licks the remaining droplets of water from around his mouth.

“Daniel,” he responds in kind. When Max has placed his water back into its pocket, he takes Max’s hand and pumps it dramatically. “Enchanté, Max.”

Max has long fingers, his nails short but well-groomed. They’re a sharp contrast to Daniel’s bitten stubs, the edges of his thumbs permanently red and half-bleeding. The dark hair of Max’s arms trails up to his hands, which are moisturized, strong, and big enough to wrap around the expanse of Daniel’s throat.

“Will you be staying in Amsterdam long?” Max asks.

Daniel shrugs, tapping one worn-down, stained Van against Max’s navy blue sneakers. “Dunno. I could be convinced to extend my trip if I had a good tour guide.”

He knows Max’s friends are listening in, can see them whispering and giggling and taking photos to probably send in a larger group chat, but he focuses his attention on Max’s pretty blue eyes and the way Max’s hand is still loosely holding his.

“I don’t actually live in Amsterdam,” Max admits. He bites at his lower lip, dragging it through his straight, pearly-white teeth. “But I don’t mind sticking around for a bit.”

One of Max’s entourage leans over, says something to Max in Dutch that sounds like a protest, but a dark-haired boy slaps him in the stomach to shut him up and rolls his eyes at Daniel as if to apologize for his friend’s behaviour.

“You can rent a car and drive yourselves back,” Max snaps at him in English, then turns his soft attention back to Daniel. “So, tour guide. I better work on a good list while you sleep.”

Daniel drops his head down to Max’s shoulder, already making a plan for how he can casually rearrange his body to end up with his head on those plush thighs. “I guess we should find a few things to do around the city while the cleaners replace our sheets, yeah.”

Max laughs. “Do you enjoy football? We can go out and watch semis together, maybe.”

“To be honest, I’d never watched before,” Daniel admits. “I’m mostly into UFC. I just thought it seemed like a good time.”

Max brushes his fingers through Daniel’s gross hair as if it’s something soft and precious. “I’ll explain it all to you. It’s really such a good sport. Do you know anything about English football? Virgil plays for Liverpool.”

He’s off after that, explaining leagues and players and rules to Daniel, doing all these cute hand gestures and making himself laugh with all his little jokes. Daniel doesn’t even mind that he can’t drift off to sleep. He’s content listening to the rumble of Max’s voice, steady like the movement of the train, as he curls himself up into a tiny ball to rest his cheek on the smooth, pale skin spreading out of Max’s terrible khaki shorts.

He thinks he’ll like Amsterdam.

[writingoddess1125]

Modern AU Buggy X Reader

Buggy x GnReader

Just fluffy Headcanon!

• Buggy is the leader of a budget theater group that he spends nights writing or getting his people to practice for local shows- during the day however he has his own Boat Charter company and a second business of a delivery company.

• Has Rhinophyma and Roseaca which is why his nose is so large and red. Hates it and has been to so many dermatologist to get it fixed- but due to blood flow and other things will have it for life.

• Has a deep anger towards his half brother Shanks- He feels like their mentor Gol D Roger's who owned a large shipping company when he died it should have been Shanks who owned the shop to keep the legacy alive. Buggy would have been willing to follow Shanks if he did this since he knew he cohldnt- But Shanks ended up just leaving town and Buggy trying to keep it together before it finally went belly up.

• Secretly wanted to be an actor but never got the chops for it due to his nose-

• When you first meet Buggy its at one of the plays, it's a fun improve night. While not many people are there you go with some friends since you found the tickets online.

• You're one of the few people that actually play along with the act and seem to be enjoying themselves. Instead of half drunk college students that got the tickets off groupon-

• He has you come down to the stage and does a whole improve act with you, Being such a good sport you end up helping him get the crowd more engaged.

• Buggy invites you to do shows with him which you agree to. Hum giving you his number in exchange

• Showing up every Thursday to the improv nights and you start becoming friends with his theater group. Noticing how Buggy seemed much happier as you got along with everyone-

• After a few months he works up the courage to ask you out on a date, which you gladly accept.

• At first he tries to take you to the most expensive places but when you express he doesn't have to spend money to show he lives you- He gets more creative and thoughtful.

• Walks through the beach, coffee dates, going to musicals together.

• His favorite are movie nights, He will show off his limited cooking skills aka Hot Dogs and a assortment of junk food while the two of you watch mostly terrible F Tier movies together.

- "Which one did you find?" You call out from the kitchen getting some soda for yourself and Buggy.

"It's called Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter {OP note: This is a real movie- absolutely awful}" Buggy yelled out, laughing at just the name as you jump onto the big couch and hand him his drink as he eats some chips.

"That sounds absolutely awful" You say, looking at the cheap movie cover and reading the back with a snort. Buggy nods, patting himself on the back for finding such garbage.

"It truly is, I've outdone myself" He says proudly before the two of you start the terrible adventure. Having to pause the movie at times for laughing so damn hard-

"This is so bad!" You say as you laugh and roll on the floor- Buggy no better. However he wiped the tears from his eyes as he caught his breath.

"While we can laugh at least he made a movie-" He pointed out with a shrug, you sitting next to him and raising a eyebrow at the oddly kind words from Buggy.

"What do you mean?"

"I always wanted to make a movie- But I doubt anyone would watch them.. they barely watch my shows" He muttered, his insecurities getting to him as he subconsciously touched his nose. You reaching over and grabbing his hand quickly, kissing his lips to snap him from his terrible thoughts.

"What are you talking about?! I think your shows are great and I know you'd do a fantastic job making a movie!" You proclaimed loudly with a smile, your Boyfriend turning and staring hard at you.

He stares at you- like youd said the craziest thing ever. You feeling a creep of worry going up your back at how he was looking at you

"What is your ring size?" He finally ask and gestures to your ring finger making you blush deeply red.

[silentglassbreak]

if you’re still taking and writing delulu fantasies could i please request one where you meet noah (say you know people working in the scene so you meet them backstage after a show when your friends invite you to spend time with them?).

you’re used to meeting band dudes so it’s nothing but noah tries to appear chill in his pursuit of you. you think he’s cute so you go with it but the most awkward flirtation and cringy smut ensues. (my kink’s an embarrassed noah 😌) thank you so much! <3

Cringey, embarrassed smut? That’s a first for me, and I’m kind of excited LOL. Hopefully this is what you’re looking for!

After Writing Notes: Yaknow, every time I start one of these things, I tell myself I'm going to make it shorter...Anyway, here's 9000 words. Hope you enjoy! Also, huge shoutout to @notyourmomsromancenovel for helping me come up with ideas for cringey smut.

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: injury, fainting, smut (in the goofiest way ever)

Beautiful Mistakes

When you pictured Noah Sebastian - front man and lead vocalist in the viral metal-core band Bad Omens - you pictured something way different.

You had been following the band’s work for a while and, like everyone else, had noticed the immediate shift in their persona and presence. You had been a softcore fan of theirs since 2018, and spent many nights on Twitch, playing Elden Ring and listening to his streams as background noise. Sometimes you had been one of the only people in the chat, listening to him produce his beats or record rough vocals. Other times, you sat and chatted with him while he idly played guitar.

Once the pandemic hit full force, there were plenty of nights you sat and talked to Noah, watching the hilarity that ensued. Cat-eared headset on and music playing, Noah would stare at his screen, munching on the Body of Christ and making ridiculous noises.

“Where are my regulars? I need someone to talk to!”

/CrossContaminate/: I’m right here, calm down.

“Hey! Cross is here! I haven’t seen you in a while.”

/CrossContaminate/: I have a job, Noah. You wouldn’t know about that. 😝

“Woooooow…” He pressed a hand to his chest and stared straight into the camera. “That one stung, girl.”

/CrossContaminate/: How do you know I’m a girl? I could be a 50 year old dude, yaknow.

He raised his eyebrows at that. “You’ve got a point. Maybe you should come on video chat with all of us so we can be sure.” He lowered his glasses down on his nose and looked dead into the camera. “For my own safety, of course.”

You cackled loudly at this, typing out your response.

/CrossContaminate/: Nah, I don’t vid chat. You’ll just have to take my word for it.

He rolled his eyes, and smirked. “Same old Cross, I see.”

Noah tried to get you to join video chat regularly often over the years. He had DM'ed you a few times when he saw you were online, wanting to voice call or join a Discord with him, to which you always declined.

You didn’t have a hard and fast rule against chatting online with people via voice or video, you just didn’t do it. Your life was busy and hectic. You didn’t have a ton of time to yourself, so the nights where you got to sit and just not exist in the real world, and only online, it was nice to just remain anonymous.

You had stumbled across Noah’s Twitch by accident once, when looking for something different. His face captured you, however, and once you clicked into it, you were hooked. It wasn’t so much because he was good looking - he was definitely a cutie - but he looked ridiculous.

His hair was long and haphazard. He was wearing an oversized hoodie, drinking cheap wine straight from the bottle, and he was wearing huge bottle cap sunglasses. It was, by far, the goofiest thing you had seen in a long time. He was playing Dead Space, and would jump at the smallest noises, nearly screaming anytime a monster popped into the frame.

But, as all things, time moved on, and he changed. Once the pandemic was waning down, he had began preparing for the release of his next album. The streams became less frequent, and he put his account on a permanent hiatus.

It was a bummer, so you couldn’t help but try keeping track of him on socials. He was decently active on Twitter and Instagram, but even that began to slow down. He had enough followers that your personal account went unnoticed by him.

Aside from his online presence, his appearance also changed pretty dramatically in a very short time. He cut all of his hair off, which, to be entirely honest, broke your heart some. You had always loved the innocence he seemed to maintain by having the long hair. It hurt your feelings to see it go, but you had to admit, the short hair was something else entirely.

Before, Noah typically stuck to regular t-shirts and jeans, simple and timeless rock and roll fashion. Once they started touring for TDOPOM album, you noticed the dramatic change in their stage presence. Ski masks, all black clothing, track pants, and heavy coats. Noah usually ended the set in a black wife-beater top, and you noticed the other change.

He was fucking stacked, now. Noah had always been skinny and long - like a toothpick. Not anymore. His shoulders had broadened, his neck was thicker, and his arms were defined and muscular. That was a change you didn’t mind at all.

What happened? Was second puberty a thing? Because you swore that could be the only explanation for such a drastic difference in Noah in such a short time period.

Although you watched the band from afar, you never had made any time to go see them live, always working anymore. That sucked, because even if you had, it’s not like you’d be able to see him. He was too big of a celebrity now, and you were far from. He likely wouldn’t even remember you, so you never bothered.

As silly as it sounded, it almost hurt your feelings the same as watching an old friend change and grow apart from you over time, even though that wasn’t exactly the case here.

Although, you rationalized that you and him did speak nearly every day for almost two whole years - so it wasn’t that silly, was it?

So you were absolutely floored when your best friend called you, random Friday evening, and asked you for a favor.

“I booked a gig for tomorrow, and I know it’s last minute, but the guy who was supposed to be helping ate some bad sushi or something, and I could desperately use a hand.”

You groaned, rolling your eyes, trying not to be too loud in the Target checkout line.

“It’s my only day off, Iz.”

She huffed. “I know, I know, but I promise it pays really well!”

You growled into the receiver. “Dude, I just did a gig last night, and I have another to do tonight!”

“It’s only four hours! And it pays twelve hundred.”

You were ready to protest, but stopped. “Total?”

“A piece.”

“Fuck, dude. That’s more than double what a normal gig that long pays.”

“I know, that’s why I’m saying, worth the exhaustion.”

You finished scanning your items, pulling your card out to pay. “That kind of money, probably a big band. Who is it?”

“Bad Omens, have you heard of them?”

You stopped, eyes snapping up and fingers stalling at the card reader. “No shit, huh?”

“So, you have heard of them?”

You grabbed your bag, making your way outside. “Yeah, actually. Remember that guy on Twitch I used to talk to?”

“Noah?” It took her a second to put the pieces together, so you stayed silent while she did. “Oh, Noah! As in Noah Sebastian!”

“Bingo.”

“Well shit! Maybe he remembers you!”

You shook your head, taking a long gulp of your iced coffee. “Mm-mm,” You set the drink down. “he never saw my face or heard my voice. Didn’t even know my real name.”

“Seriously?”

“Yep. Only knew me by my tag. He called me ‘Cross’ for short.”

“Ah, okay, so he’ll have no idea who you are!” She laughed at this.

You switched the call to your Bluetooth and sighed. “I guess, since you asked so fucking nicely and I need to pay my rent, I will agree to do the gig with you.”

She squeaked in appreciation. “You’re saving my ass, dude.”

You shrugged. “Pick me up at least two hours before. We need time to prepare.”

“Noon, then?”

“I’ll be ready.”

You and Isobel were known, by the official term in the industry, as Venue Assistants. You were independent contractors who were recommended to acts by the venues, and hired by those bands for specific occasions to help ensure a smooth, easy show. This could mean anything from stocking the green room, switching out instruments, helping with outfit changes, grabbing anything the artists needed. It was an exhausting job, and you had been doing it for about five years now. As tiring as it was, it paid well, and it was a lot of fun. You had the opportunity to meet some of the best bands in the industry - and some of the worst. You had more stories to tell than anyone, and you wouldn’t change careers if you were paid to.

At the venue the following day, you had received word from the stage director that the band was running behind, and they needed you both to grab food and coffees for all of them. Typically, you’d roll your eyes at this, but you didn’t immediately, as you knew life happened, and it could’ve happened for a lot of reasons. You had gone and grabbed the guys their Chinese food while Iz picked up the Starbucks order, and arrived back at the theater just before the band did.

They came in, all looking rather tired and irritated. Noah was the last to enter, baseball hat on his head and wearing basketball shorts under his large hoodie.

“All I’m saying is, I don’t know how you had no idea the window would break.” The man who you recognized to be Jolly was still lecturing Noah as they came in, dropping their bags down.

You and Isobel were in the back of the room, speaking with the crew who were preparing to bring in the instruments and equipment. You planned to help unload it all, so you were listening to the stage director instruct them on where to place everything.

“It was a stress ball! Why would I think it would break the window?!”

“Because it was hard?” Folio piped up as he sat down, tearing into the food.

“Look, it’s not a huge deal. Safelite said they can have it fixed before tomorrow. It’ll be fine!”

You shook your head, sincerely wondering what the hell they were talking about. Your attention, however, was pulled back to Isobel. You followed her out to the truck where the loading ramp was being pulled down.

“You going to talk to him?” She asked as she began pulling a mic stand out. You grabbed one of the smaller amps, and followed her back to the delivery door.

“Probably not. We’ve got a lot to do.”

“I mean,” She set the stand down and looked over to where the band sat, apparently still arguing amongst themselves, and looked back at you. “you could go talk to him now? I can unload this with the guys.”

“I need to earn my paycheck too, Iz.”

“Why don’t you want to talk to him?”

You stopped walking away, turning to look at her. “I never said that.”

“So go talk to him? He’s just a guy.”

You sighed, narrowing your eyes at her. “Fine, I will.”

Stomping back toward the couches of the green room, you heard her laugh behind you. It wasn’t any big deal, you didn’t see why she was bugging you about this. You inhaled a big breath, and walked straight up to the group, noticing they were all now sat and eating.

“Hey guys.” You waved a hand at them. “I don’t mean to bug you while you’re eating. I just wanted to introduce myself. I’ll be one of your VA’s for the evening. If you need anything at all, or have any preferences I should be aware of, please don’t hesitate to ask.”

They all set their food down and stood, pushing their hands out for you to shake. You took each one gracefully, hearing them tell you their names, which you already knew.

The last to introduce himself was Noah, who, while leaning over the table to take your grasp, knocked a bottle of soy sauce down, causing you to jump back. It was too late, and your dark blue jeans had black splatter on them.

“Fuck! I’m so sorry!”

You grabbed a napkin and patted at the spots quickly, waving. “No, it’s okay. It shouldn’t stain.” Hopefully.

Nicholas grabbed a roll of paper towels from the back table and cleaned it up quickly, smiling sheepishly at you. “You’ll have to excuse Noah. He’s as clumsy as they come.”

Noah smacked a hand at his shoulder. “Not true, dick.” He looked back up at you apologetically. “Again, I’m so sorry.”

Moving around the table to approach him, you took his hand. “It’s really no problem.”

“I didn’t catch your name?” You gave it to him, and he smiled brightly at you. “That’s different?”

Smirking, you nodded. “It is. You can just call me Cross.”

For a second, you weren’t sure he was going to get it. His hand continued shaking yours for an unnecessarily long time while his brow furrowed, staring at you. After a moment, he cocked his head to the side.

“Cross…” He strung the word out on his tongue. “As in…” You could actually see the light bulb go off behind his eyes, and they popped open wide.

“Oh shit!” His hand let go of yours, and suddenly he was grabbing you by the forearms, startling you a bit. “No fucking way!”

He was smiling way bigger than you expected, but in that smile, you saw that same goofy guy that used to sit with you for hours, chatting online and dicking around.

“I wasn’t sure you’d remember.” You grinned back at him, trying to push down the little bit of butterflies that started trying to scoot their way into your chest.

You noticed how his face fell just slightly when you said it, likely remembering quite how long it had been. “Of course I remember.” His voice was even, but he still looked enthused.

“Well, it’s good to finally meet you.”

He looked up and down at you, taking a step back for effect. “Yeah, same here. I guess you aren’t a fifty year old dude after all.”

Your face flushed at that, and you shook your head. “Nope. Sorry to disappoint.”

“Care to introduce?” Jolly stood behind you, and you turned to see him stand with a raised eyebrow.

Noah took the initiative to push you slightly toward the rest of the band.

“You guys remember when I used to stream all the time? And I had that one chick who used to join every day and chat with me for hours? She was the one who used to tell people I was a Billie Eilish fan page.” He looked down at you with an eyebrow raised, and you broke out in hard laughter.

“Well, you practically were, Noah!”

He shook his head, turning to tower over you. “I was not! I just like her music!”

Folio stood up, smiling wide. “Oh, dude I remember that! Didn’t she hack into your account and change your profile photo and everything?”

Noah glared down at you, which caused a whole new fit of giggles to erupt.

“What?! It got you more subs!”

He rolled his eyes and pulled your arm, moving you to sit on the couch next to him.

“How have you been?” He shoved a mouthful of chow mein and spoke around his food. “I know it’s been a while, I’m sorry.”

You just shook your head. “No need to apologize. You’ve been busy.”

He beamed at that. “Have you heard the new album?”

“I have. It’s really great.”

“You think? I appreciate that.”

You sat back, watching how he inhaled the food in front of him. “Also, I’ve been good. Also keeping busy.”

Wiping his mouth on a napkin, he nodded. “This is what you do? Full time?”

“Yeah, been doing it a while. I like it.”

He leaned back also, arms falling into his lap. The other guys had began to disperse, heading to different parts of the building to begin their preparations.

"That's cool."

The conversation fell silent between you both, and you cleared your throat. "Well, it's really good to see you, Noah."

He affirmed with a nod, chewing on his lip. "I feel bad for not keeping in touch."

"Oh stop. You had no way to reach me other than Twitch."

"That's true. I don't have social media anymore, either." He shrugged his shoulders.

"Yeah, I saw that."

The quiet was strange and uncomfortable, and you decided not to stall your job any longer. "Well, I'd better get back to work."

He stood too, bumping into your shoulder as he did, nearly knocking you back into the couch. Instantly, his hand reached out to grab you.

"Shit!" He exclaimed, and in his attempt to hook your arm, his hand missed, and grabbed a full hand of your right breast.

A sharp gasp tumbled out of you, and he pulled his hand back with haste, causing you to lose your balance again, and fall backward, the back of your head smacking the arm of the couch.

"Damn it!" He crouched down to grab you, but your hand came up in front of you.

"Uhm," You squeezed your eyes closed, clearing the spots that formed in your vision. "I got it."

Sitting up, you rubbed at the back of your head. He sat down again, keeping about a foot of distance between you.

"I'm so fucking sorry."

Your eyes opened, seeing the look of absolute shame and guilt painted on his face. It was comical.

What a fucking doofus.

"Noah," You turned your head back and forth to assess if your neck was injured. It wasn't. "I think your clumsiness is spreading."

His face fell in his hands. "I'm so sorry." He apologized again, groaning loudly. "I don't know what's wrong with me today!"

"Everyone has off days." You assured, taking a moment before you stood back up.

"Not like today. I broke a window in the tour bus this morning, that's why we were late."

Your mouth fell open. "You broke the window?"

"I didn't mean to! I had one of those squishy stress-ball things? It was real firm, cause it was new. So I was trying to soften it up by squeezing it, and I thought, maybe if I bounced it a few times, it would get softer..."

Your eyebrows shot up in disbelief. "You didn't..."

"I just tossed it gently and the fucking thing broke a hole clean out of the window!"

Maybe it was the near-concussion or the obscenity of it all, but a guttural laughter came out of you, making you fall back onto the couch clutching your sides.

"It's not funny!" Noah tried to argue, but ended up laughing with you, his bravado deflating.

"Ah, Noah," You wiped the tears spilling from your eyes. "you really haven't changed."

After your unfortunate accident earlier, Noah had insisted on exchanging numbers with you, so he could check in and make sure you were okay throughout the night. This was after he failed to convince you to go get checked out at an ER, and swore him to not tell anyone what happened. The last thing you needed was an incident in the workplace.

Noah was half an hour from going onstage, and you were on the side stage, checking the battery level of all of the microphones. Your phone buzzed in your back pocket and you rolled your eyes. It had been nearly constant for the last three hours.

Noah: Checking in. How's the head?

You sighed, typing a quick response.

You: Same as it was twenty minutes ago - normal.

Noah: Any pain?

You: No.

That wasn't entirely true. You had a dull throbbing at the base of your skull, but you were doing a great job of ignoring it.

Noah: Okay. Where are you?

You: Stage left. I'm covering you and Folio tonight, so I'm checking the mics and making sure all your stuff is ready.

Noah: Cool. Need any help?

You: Shouldn't you be getting ready?

Noah: Yeah, probably.

You snickered, staring at your screen before sending the next message.

You: If I didn't know better, I'd think you concussed me just to ask me for my number.

It was stupid, but you couldn't help but fuck with him a little bit. His response came quickly.

Noah: Maybe I did. ;P

You scowled down at the phone. What the hell?

His type bubble appeared quickly, another message coming in.

Noah: Wait, that sounded creepy. I'm kidding, I swear.

You: Suuuuuuure

He read that message, but didn't respond. You had definitely caught him a little off-guard and it made you laugh. You stared down at the winking face emoji, and it dawned on you that he was flirting with you. You visibly shivered, somewhat stunned.

Noah Sebastian was tall, dark, and sexy in almost every video and interview you had watched of him since he went dark over a year ago...but inside, it appeared he was still just as dorky and uncoordinated as you always knew him to be. You didn't realize it was quite this bad, however.

And not only was he clumsy, he was bad at flirting too...

You shook off the feeling, trying your hardest not to smile at the thought. Despite the ickiness of it all, you were flattered. He may be kind of Scooby-Doo-ish, but he was handsome, and talented. He also had a soft, deep side of him that you had the pleasure of seeing on more than one occasion.

Maybe he was just nervous? Maybe you could just go with it and see how it turned out?

You resolved to push it to the back of your mind for the time being, placing yourself back into your professional work mindset as the show began.

Noah was entirely different on stage, completely in control and flowing effortlessly through the songs. He looked like an entirely different person out there. He would pop back to the sides here and there to get some water, switch out his mic, or wipe the sweat from his face. Each time, he'd give you a look of concern, and ask about your head again. You would just shush him and push him back out onto the stage.

You were also covering Folio, who was up on the riser, beating away at his drum set. The stairs you had to climb were tall, and after the third trip up here, you felt the room tilt like it was turning on it's side. You held the railing, catching Folio's eye as the darkened room began lighting up again.

He mouthed at you a quick 'You good?' and you just nodded, throwing him a thumbs up, and heading back down the stairs. Noah was stood, gulping his water, and staring at you.

"I saw that. What's wrong?"

You shook your head. "Nothing, go, the next song is starting."

He pressed a hand into your shoulder, now looking much more stern than worried. "I don't care. Are you okay?"

Still trying to brush it off, you grabbed hold of his arm, trying to push him away. It didn't occur to you that it was also instinctive, as your feet were starting to feel a little numb. "Noah, you don't have time for this."

He stood square in front of you, eyebrows raised and arms crossed over his chest.

"Are. You. Okay?" He enunciated each word, but he suddenly started to look so much taller than he did a second ago. And when did he become so fuzzy?

Your hand squeezed where it was hooked onto his bicep in an attempt to stop the inevitable, but, unfortunately, before he could manage to reach for you, the room went dark.

Your eyes cracked open, a harsh light shining in them, and you squinted against it.

"Hey, you with us?" A blonde man you didn't recognize stared down at you, a stethoscope around his neck and gloves on his hands.

A paramedic. Amazing.

When you looked around, you realized you were on a gurney, sitting in the back of an ambulance with the doors open, in the parking lot of the venue. It was the paramedic that was on call at the theater that night.

"Ugh, no fucking way." You tried to sit up, but a hand pressed onto your shoulder. You shifted your eyes to see Isobel sitting on the bench next to the stretcher. "Iz? What happened?"

The EMT spoke for her, putting his light back in his shirt pocket, and began moving his fingers back and forth in front of your face for you to follow.

"Well, you passed out, and cracked your head on the floor pretty good." You squeezed your eyes closed in frustration. "Big guy in there told us you hit your head earlier, too? That's probably what caused you to faint."

Yeah. Big, dumb, gargantuan guy.

"My head hurts." You winced as the medic turned your neck, checking your range of motion.

"I'm sure it does. You're all intact, it appears, but given that this was the second impact today, I strongly suggest going to the ER to get a scan."

You rolled your eyes, trying again to sit up. "I don't think-"

Isobel cut you off. "We're going."

The EMT nodded, and reached to begin shutting the doors. Admitting defeat, you carefully laid your head back down. The vehicle started moving and you let out a hard breath.

"We're so not getting paid for tonight."

Iz laughed, shaking her head. "I think it'll be fine. Noah was in a near panic attack when he moved you to the couch. Kept saying it was all his fault."

You snickered. "Kind of is."

"He wanted to cancel the rest of the show, but I told him you'd have a full stroke if he did that because of you."

Your eyes popped open, and you tried to sit up. "He didn't do that, did he?!"

The EMT pressed you back down. "Easy, easy."

Isobel patted your shoulder. "No, he didn't."

You melted back onto the bed. "Oh thank fuck for that."

The ride to the Emergency Room was short, and the nurses made quick work of getting you into a rollable bed and carting you off to get a CT scan of your head and neck. That was mundane, but they had given you something decent for the pain, so it wasn't so bad. You hummed to yourself as you were rolled back to your room, and Isobel was missing. You whipped your head around, looking to see if she was anywhere to be found, but a voice came from the opposite side.

"She went to get a snack."

Noah stood by the doorway, hands in the pockets of his cargo pants, white t-shirt on, and a beanie over his hair. He had cleaned up since the show, you could tell.

"The show is over already?"

He huffed out a laugh, stepping over to the end of your bed. "Yeah, for a little while now. You've been at the hospital for two hours."

You raised your eyebrows, but it didn't phase you too much. "Time flies when you're on morphine, I suppose."

His hands gripped the rails at the end of the bed. "How you doing?"

You nodded, sinking against the mattress. "I mean, I've been better, but I've been worse."

He lifted an eyebrow at you, and moved to perch himself on the very edge of the end of the bed. "Yeah? That's...better than nothing?"

You nodded, looking him up and down. He looked more like himself in this outfit, and you liked it. It felt more genuine.

"How did the rest of the show go?"

He shrugged his shoulders, hands still in his pockets. "Good, I guess. I was stressed, so I felt like I kind of rushed through it."

You brought your arms up behind your head, getting comfortable. "You shouldn't have. I'm good."

Noah deadpanned at you. "Obviously you weren't. You should've gone to the hospital earlier."

You scoffed. "Oh well. Doesn't matter now."

He was leaned over, his shoulder pulled in and he looked nervous.

"What's wrong?"

"What?" He looked bewildered.

"You look upset or something?"

He snickered, readjusting his feet on the floor. "Well, I gave you a concussion, couldn't convince you to get checked out and agreed not to tell anyone, which led to you getting an even worse concussion, and you're now potentially bleeding into your brain... That's probably got something to do with it."

You waved a hand at him. "Details. It's not a big deal."

He shook his head, looking at the wall adjacent from him and not at you. "This is not how I pictured us getting to meet."

This interested you, so you probed. "You pictured us meeting?"

He smirked. "We talked for a couple years, Cross. Of course I did."

"And how was that supposed to go?" High or not, you were curious.

He chuckled, still not looking at you. "Not like this."

You rolled your eyes. "Well, duh. But what did you expect?"

"I don't know. Something normal? Hanging at a movie or getting food? Like normal people?"

You cackled. "Well, you're not normal, Noah."

"Clearly." He said through grit teeth.

Leaning back again, you relaxed, and pursed your lips. "Were you trying to flirt with me earlier?"

You could tell this caught him by surprise, as he began looking nervous again. "What do you mean?"

"Well, either your were trying to flirt, or you actually gave me a concussion just to get my phone number."

He bit back a laugh, looking at you sheepishly. "Yeah, no that wasn't on purpose. Just a bad joke."

"Well, you could've just asked for my number, is all I'm saying."

He shook with soft laughter. "Noted." He stood then, turning toward the doorway where Isobel could be seen coming down the hallway. "Well, I mostly wanted to make sure you were okay. I should go."

Something about that didn't feel right to you, and you sat up a little quickly, your brain sloshing slightly in your skull, but you ignored it.

"You're leaving?" In your inebriated mind, you pictured yourself looking silly and desperate, but your logic knew that likely was just the drugs talking.

“Yeah, well, you don’t need a disaster magnet hanging around.” He said looking timid.

Isobel had joined you back in the bedroom, and was turning to look between the both of you.

“Everything okay?” She stared at Noah, and he reached a hand to palm the back of his neck.

“Yeah, I was just getting ready to head out.”

Your mouth moved before you could stop it. “No he wasn’t.”

Both of their heads snapped to look up at you, and he looked so puzzled. “No?”

You shook your head, soft smile adorning your face. “No, not unless you have somewhere to be.”

Isobel picked up on the tension in the room and made a show to look at her smart watch.

“Oh damn, look at that, I’m getting a call. Be right back.”

She slipped from the room and Noah focused his stare back on you.

“You want me to stay?”

You nodded, crossing your legs in front of you and sitting straight.

“That could be hazardous, you know?” He joked, but rounded back around by the bed, sitting a little closer to you on the edge.

“I don’t care.”

It took what felt like forever for the doctor to finally enter the room, interrupting yours and Noah’s game of hot hands you were playing while Iz sat in a chair on the side, chatting idly about the next gig she had booked for Motionless in White.

“Ah, I see your coordination is no issue.” The doctor spoke right as your hand came down to slap the back of Noah’s hard, forcing him to pull away hastily and hiss in pain.

You giggled, and turned to face the physician. “How’s my head?” He looked down at his paperwork, nodding in approval. Noah moved off the bed so the doctor could come around and shine a light at your eyes for the hundredth time.

“Looks good. No bleeds, no fractures. You shouldn’t have any lasting side effects aside from some headaches for a few days.” You smiled and glanced at Noah, seeing the physical relief he breathed out.

“You need to follow up with a neurologist in one week, and you need to stay in bed for at least five days.”

You grunted in disapproval. “That sucks.”

He sucked his teeth. “I know, but it’s just a precaution. Do you live with someone? Parents? Roommate? Boyfriend?”

If Noah were a dog, his ears would have been perking at that last word.

You shook your head. “Just me.”

He shrugged. “I don’t like the idea of you being alone. Can you stay with someone until you can go to the neurologist?”

I sunk down. “Not really? I have a cat that needs to be looked after.”

“I can come stay with you.” Isobel spoke up from her side of the bed, and I smiled at her appreciatively.

“Okay, good. I think I can get you out of here, then. No blood thinners for a few days, just Tylenol for pain. You experience any odd symptoms or pain that’s unbearable, you come straight back, yes?”

You nodded, and he smiled.

“Great, I’ll put in for the discharge.”

You turned to look at her, reaching out for her to take your hand. “You didn’t have to do that, Iz.”

She smirked. “Someone has to.”

You laughed. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Can we just stop by my place? I’ve got a couple things I need to do, it’ll take a couple hours, probably. Or I can drop you off and head back over?”

“She shouldn’t be alone, though, right?” Noah piped up from where he stood on the opposing side of the bed.

You sighed. “I’m so tired though. I want to go home and get in my sweats.”

He pursed his lips, mind working while looking at your face, before glancing back up to Isobel.

“Why don’t I take her home, and I can hang with her till you get there? That way you can do what you need to, but she can go home and get comfortable?”

Isobel eyed you, wanting to hear your thoughts on it before she answered. You just shrugged in response, and she slowly tore her eyes off of you to look back at Noah.

“Alright, but be careful driving her home.” She smiled in a patronizing fashion. “You can understand my hesitation after today.”

He clenched his jaw, knowing exactly what she meant, and looked back down at you. You felt your cheeks heat up under his gaze.

His eyes fell back to Iz, that sternness returning in his tone.

“I‘ll be careful.”

The drive back to your apartment was silent, the air hanging with uncertainty. The only sound above the whir of the motor was you giving directions to your place, and Noah humming his understanding.

It took until you were over halfway there for him to look at you, eyes looking sad.

“Feel like the morphine’s wearing off?”

You were rubbing at your temples, and you snorted. “How could you tell?”

He smirked. “I’m so sorry.”

You groaned. “Noah, if you apologize one more time, I’m going to slap you.”

He sucked his lips in and looked back out the windshield.

“It wasn’t your fault, it happens.”

His knuckles flexed on the steering wheel and he inhaled a long breath. "It's actually, technically, one hundred percent my fault." He admitted, gritting his teeth.

He pulled into the parking lot of your apartment complex, and his vehicle came to a stop just outside of your building.

"I don't suppose you live on the first floor?" He chanced, but you shook your head.

"Third." He looked like he was about to start stressing, but you smiled. "There's an elevator."

This made him relax back in his seat before he stepped out, moving quickly to your side and letting you out.

He carried your bag and sweater in his arms as you led up to the elevator, and down the hall to your small one-bedroom apartment. Once inside, your white, short-haired cat bound up to you both, meowing with fervor.

Noah looked down at her, and back up to you. You reached down and scooped up her small body with one hand, holding her to your chest.

"Noah, this is Narcissa."

He smiled, petting her head with one finger, which she accepted graciously.

"She's probably starving, I'd better feed her." Before you could move toward the kitchen, he put a hand on your arm.

"Let me. Where's her food?"

You pointed him in the right direction, taking the moment to head into your bedroom, kicking your shoes off and reaching for a t-shirt from the closet and a pair of shorts from the drawer of your long dresser. He appeared in the doorway right after you had slipped the shirt over your head, and he leaned against the frame.

"She's fed. Anything I can get you?"

You panned around the room, thinking for a moment. "I've got some chips and salsa in the kitchen. Chips in the pantry and salsa in the fridge. Want to grab it and meet me in the living room?"

He nodded, heading to complete his task. You padded over to the couch, dropping down onto the soft cushions, and pulled your sofa blanket over you. He joined you after a moment, setting the food on the coffee table, your phone next to it.

"Thought you'd want that."

He sat and watched the television as you flipped through Hulu, looking for something to watch. You could feel how uncomfortable he was, trying so hard to keep a wide distance from you, likely so as not to hurt you.

"Noah?"

He looked over, eyebrows raised. "Hmm?"

You made a show of relaxing back on the couch, and motioned for him to do the same. "Take a breath. I'm fine."

He tried, leaning back and exhaling loudly. "You okay with Evil Dead? It's one of my favorites."

"Sure. I've seen it a couple times."

You sat back, now munching on some chips, and offered him the bag. He grabbed some, crunching on them loudly.

The movie played, but you could feel how, as he finally did begin to relax, he was moving somewhat closer to you. It was fascinating. He wasn't doing it on purpose, it was almost as if he was a magnet, and you were the pole it attached to.

"Can I ask you a question?" He looked over at you, listening. "Why did you go dark?"

You could see he was baffled by the so off-topic ask, and he took a moment to gather his thoughts.

"Uh," He looked back at you. "A lot of reasons, really."

"Mm." You nodded, setting the chips back on the table. "Why did you go dark on me?"

This caught his complete attention, and his body turned to face you. "What?"

"You didn't even say bye or anything. You just...stopped coming online. And I had no way to reach out."

He furrowed his brow. "I'm a little surprised you wanted to, Cross."

"Why?"

He made a noise that sounded nearly annoyed. "Well, you never wanted to talk on a call. You never showed your face. You wouldn't even tell me your real name."

Guilt sunk in to your gut, reminding you that he was absolutely right.

"I just figured you weren't interested in maintaining the friendship beyond what it was, so I didn't think about it."

You nodded, understanding. There was nothing wrong with it, but it still sort of hurt your feelings.

"I get it. I was just curious."

"Why didn't you ever reach out?"

You opened your mouth to respond, but had to stop, because you realized...you didn't know. There wasn't a clear, concise reason why. Maybe you liked the idea of Noah being just an idea? A friend? Someone who didn't know you, and all that came with? Maybe it made it easier to feel safe talking to him?

He noticed you were uncomfortable with the conversation, and waved it off. "It doesn't matter now."

You had to agree with that. It wasn't going to change anything.

"Well, let's just watch the movie and you can rest."

You leaned back on the couch, and it wasn't lost on you that Noah was slowly scooting closer still, only now, you were pretty sure he was doing it on purpose. The room felt warm, and you adjusted under the blanket to kick a leg out, it being pressed against his. His eyes darted down to where you had touched him, and back up to your face. You kept your eyes straight ahead, smirking at the situation.

He leaned forward, pulling his beanie off and running his hand through his hair. "Is it warm in here?"

You smiled, just dropping your shoulders. He leaned back, and tried so desperately to smoothly slip an arm on the back of the couch, stretching at the same time.

He wasn't actually doing this, was he?

He was adorable, despite how absolutely ridiculous he was. He was nervous, and you knew that, but you worked overtime to hide your amusement, just shifting so you were pressed into his side.

His hand hesitated on the back of the couch, twitching as if he wanted to just wrap it around your shoulders, your head now resting on his chest.

You sighed loudly. "Noah, just put your arm around me."

"Yup." He gripped you, and adjusted to curl into him closer, leg falling over his. You giggled at him, and he pressed his face into the top of your head, embarrassed. "Clearly, I'm not good at this."

The movie played on, and at the scarier parts, you gripped his shirt tightly. You weren't very spooked, but it was what you did when snuggling on the couch with a cute boy, so you just went with it.

"Cross?" His voice was small, and you pressed in closer to hear him better.

"Hmm?"

"I really want to kiss you, but I'm kind of," He cleared his throat. "afraid?"

You scrunched up your nose and lifted your face to look at him. "Afraid?" His eyes were so big and doe-like, it pulled at something in your chest.

"Yeah, after all that's happened today? What if I miss and...I don't know...break your nose, or something?"

It took a second, but your face broke out in a large grin and you started laughing like a hyena. It was so absurd.

"What?!"

You had to take a breath, the ache in your head beginning to throb a little harder with your labored breathing. "I'm sorry!" You squeaked out, trying to contain yourself.

"Is it that hard to believe?"

You shook your head. "It's not." You could barely hold the giggles in. "That's why it's so funny."

He narrowed his eyes, pulling his arm from where it was wrapped around your back, but you pushed in closer, finally halting your laughing and looked at him.

"Noah," You lifted one hand to press your palm against his cheek. "if you want to kiss me, just do it."

His eyes flipped between both of yours, considering, before he leaned in and you closed your eyes.

Problem is, so did he...

His top teeth collided into yours making a harsh clacking sound, and causing you both to pull away hastily.

"God damn it!" His hand pressed into his gums, and he stared at you. "Are you okay?" You were laughing again, and he growled. "Maybe we should just not even try."

The tears in your eyes glistened, making him look glittery in your vision, and you just smiled brightly at him.

"Fucking hell, Noah."

You lifted yourself up, grabbing his face, and pressing your mouth to his, this time without incident. Your lips molded to his, and you felt him let out a breath he had been holding. His hands cautiously grabbed you, gently moving you to position so you straddled him, lips not disconnecting as he did.

Your hands gripped his hair, pulling his head back and exposing his neck. Your lips went to work laying featherlike kisses on the soft skin when you heard his voice.

"Uhm, Cross?" He was out of breath, and his chest was heaving. "We probably shouldn't do anything too crazy, on account of the concussion." His voice sounded unconvinced, but still, you pulled back, raising an eyebrow at him.

"My brain is fine. Now, let me have some fun, for fucking once."

His fingers dug into your sides, and your tongue was tracing his tattoos on the side of his throat.

"B-But, I really don't know if we should. The doctor said-"

You pulled back again, this time becoming annoyed. "The doctor said I needed to stay in bed. This counts."

"Okay, but, what if it makes it worse?"

You deflated a bit, hands falling down onto your lap. "Do you not want to do this?" Your voice had cracked just slightly, and you silently cursed yourself for it.

His eyes bulged, and he grabbed you harder. "No, I do! I really, really do. I just don't want to hurt you."

Even with the concern and empathy in his voice, you couldn't help but grind down onto his hips, noticing his pants were significantly tighter, and pull a moan straight out of his chest.

"You won't Noah. At least, not in a bad way." You wiggled your brows at him and gripped the sides of his neck.

He looked confused. "Is there a good way?" Incredulously, you dropped your forehead on his chest, his mind catching up a second later. "Oh! Oh right! Sorry, I don't know where my mind is right now."

You just kissed him again, tired of talking - or whatever that was - about it. Noah lifted his hips to push into you, which was the first thing he had done right all evening. You felt his erection beneath the layers of fabric between you, the friction delicious against your crotch. This time, he began placing soft kisses on your neck, barely touching the skin and teasing you.

His fingers loosened around your hips and wandered up to your shirt, slipping underneath and goosebumps rose on your skin where he touched. His hands found your breasts and took them in handfuls.

You couldn't help but giggle at the memory that flashed through your head, which caused him to look up at you.

"What?"

You smiled down at him. "Nothing, it's just that you grabbed my chest earlier when you tried to catch me. I was just thinking, I like this better."

He sighed, his head falling back. "I was hoping you hadn't noticed that."

You kissed him again, pressing back down on him, and regaining his attention.

"Noah?" His eyes looked at yours, his body now rhythmically pressing into you. "Fuck me? Please?"

You didn't mean to sound quite so needy, but it just came out that way. You were aching so bad for it, and you felt as if he didn't slip inside you soon, you may explode.

His eyes darkened, and he smiled back at you, his arms flexing around your waist and lifting you gently to lay you down on the couch. Hands making quick work of your shorts, pulling them off and staring at you. You may have forgotten to put panties on when you changed earlier, so he was marveling at the sight in front of him.

His tongue darted out to lick his lips before he pulled his own pants and boxers down, exposing his cock. You were impressed. Where Noah lacked grace and technique, he made up elsewhere. He slipped his hand into his pocket, fishing his wallet out. He located the condom quickly and applied it, giving himself a few long strokes as his free hand slid down your stomach, fingertips running through your folds for a second.

"You're sure it won't hurt you?" His mouth was hung open, and you rolled your eyes in response.

You reached your arms up, grabbing at him and pulling him down toward you. He fell forward with you, and his hand came down hard on the edge of the coffee table by mistake. He pulled it back, yelping.

"Fuck!" He shook out his hand, and you grabbed his face, forcing him to look at you.

"It's okay. Just look at me." Doing as he was told, his dick pressed against your entrance, nudging for approval.

You rocked your hips up, assisting him as he slipped partially inside of you. The stretch burned incredibly, your eyes rolling back with it.

"Oh, wow." Your words were just breaths, arms wrapping around his neck. "T-That's...wow."

Noah's hips pulled back before snapping forward, driving into you with force. Your body shook with the feeling, clenching down around him. His lips were pressing kisses into the skin on your jaw and collarbone, adding to the lovely sensation.

"Holy fuck, Noah." You lifted your legs to lock around his waist, pushing your hips up. "Harder."

He rammed your body into the cushions, the back of the couch smacking the wall loudly.

"J-Jesus. So good." His words were so quiet, you almost didn't hear. His face was buried in your neck, sweat forming in his hair. "You're so tight."

His whispers were pushing you off the edge. "Ugh, keep talking to me." Your hands gripped his hair, pulling at the roots.

"Fucking can't take it, it's so good. So perfect. So wet." He was railing you so hard, you felt as though you may cry from the sensation. "Just want to stay buried inside you all night, baby."

His words came out so softly, so soothingly that you let your body relax and let go, orgasm ready to tip.

That is, until...

"Ow..." It was almost silent. "Oww..." That was louder. "Ow! Ouch! Fuck!" He sat up suddenly, falling back on the couch.

You sat up, your head still spinning. "What's wrong?!" Your hands wandered over him, but he lifted his leg up on the couch, gripping his calf.

"Fucking leg cramp." His fingers pressed into the visibly tight muscle, and you fell backward, orgasm officially lost.

"I'm sorry!" He tried to reach for you, but you lifted your head, shooting him a warning glance. He pulled back, face turning a deep shade of red.

His cock, however, was stood at full attention still.

Rolling your tongue around in your mouth, you swung your legs off the couch and stood. You pointed to the cushions, and demanded him. "Lay down."

Without hesitation, he did as he was told, laying flat on his back, and stared at you longingly.

Wasting no time, you sat down, sliding onto him with ease now that you'd had a chance to adjust. The angle made you feel so full, so satiated. You let out a long, comfortable moan.

His hands grabbed you, and you began to rock back and forth, begging to chase that lost climax. He peered up at you through half-masked lids, fingers gripping your thighs now.

"Is that better, baby?" You nodded, fingernails scratching down his chest. "Going to come this way? Make a mess all over me?"

Just like Noah was on stage, when he was fucking, he liked to be in control. He was good at it, too.

You nodded, pressing your clit into the skin of his pubic bone. The friction combined with the pressure he was putting on that spot inside you had your thrusts more erratic.

"Can't last like this, honey. You're going to make me come if you keep riding me so fucking good."

His hips were rocking up into you, finding the wave you were riding and helping it wash over you.

"Noah..." You whimpered, hands digging into the skin of his sides. "I'm going to come."

"Yeah, baby, come for me."

His voice, so deep, raspy, sultry, shoved you over that edge, your body slowing down and spasming around him. His hips only had to buck up two more times before he was groaning, leaving fingerprint bruises in your thighs.

You both stayed still, breathing heavily, staring at each other. A grin creeped up onto your face slowly, a matching expression on his.

Both lost in your own universe, neither of you had heard the front door unlocking...

"Hey! I got finished quicker than I expected, so I-"

Both of your heads whipped to the front door, where Isobel had stepped in, duffel bag on her arm and food bags in the other.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" She turn around, covering her eyes with her hand. "What the fuck!"

You and Noah promptly jumped together, scrambling to right yourselves. He pulled at his pants that were still wrapped around his ankles, and you grabbed the blanket from the couch. He sat upright on the sofa, and you pressed against him, pulling the blanket over yourself.

Mortified, you both waited for her to turn around, which she did, eventually.

"Sorry about that, Iz." You said as you interlaced your fingers with Noah's, who was using his other hand to fully cover his face in humiliation.

"Not what I was expecting to see today!" She squealed, walking past the couch toward the kitchen. "I have food, you fucking pervs."

Once she had left the living room, you and Noah looked up at each other, both blushing furiously at having been caught in the act.

Even with the added mishap, you both broke out into large, shining smiles, laughing at the situation.

What a fucking doofus.

[crowbraincoin]

Where to make friends as an adult.

Recently I saw a devastating citation stating that most adults find it hard to make new friends as it feels like there is a lack of community and resources to do so. It takes nearly 50 hours of time together to move from mere acquaintance to casual friend. For more advanced levels of friendship, it can take more than 200 hours before you can consider someone “close”. (source)

So, though I'm not an expert by any means, I thought I'd offer some examples, ideas, and tips on finding and making friends as an adult! Check below the break :>

Ideas on where to find friends:

🆓 Local free (or cheap) events. I went to a presentation that included a free beer in the ticket cost and I had a blast! Most cities have an events calendar you can look at. Soon I'm attending a free event for the transgender community honoring those that came before us. 📖 Library programs. Most libraries that I've seen don't even require a library card, just your email or phone number to sign up for a program! Be it a presentation, class, or event, the library is the place to be!

❕Events of interest. I think about what I'm interested in and what I would like to connect with people about, and I search around to see what I can find. I use sites like Eventbrite to help me search.

💻 Online Communities. For those who can't make it out very often, consider joining online communities by searching for fandoms or topics of interest and see if there is a discord server, bluesky feed, tumblr community, or other communities on socials!

How to make friends:

Consistency. Once you find a place you enjoy going to, an organization you whose events your enjoy attending, or a series of events that takes place KEEP GOING!! Consistency is key, you have to keep interacting with folks to become friends with them.

Transparency. Just be yourself, but that doesn't mean you should be trauma dumping! Sharing personal detail allows us to feel closer to people, but make sure you're not sharing too much information! That can always come later when you're closer friends.

Confidence. You have to believe that you're someone that people want to be friends with. Don't believe it? Well ask your current friends why they are friends with you! You'll not only get a confidence boost, but also hopefully share a touching moment with your existing friends.

Follow up. If you want to be friends with someone you've met, you have to build up the nerve to further connect with them. This means sharing phone numbers or socials.

Start talking. The best way to do this is by asking questions or by giving a non-threatening compliment. Try not to make it all about you, though it is easiest to talk about the one thing we know best (ourselves) it typically won't help you make new friends! Show that you're interested in them, their thoughts and feelings on the topic of the event or a neutral topic such as musicians or food.

Questions. Ask open ended and non-invasive questions and follow through. Examples below!

Invite them out. Once you've established an acquaintance, invite them to hang out! BUT if you're the one inviting them out then you need to make sure you have some plan in mind. This could be going to a trivia night, a local event, or going to a new place together.

Further questions or topics of discussion:

I'm new to this [place or reocurring event] how long have you been coming here? Do you like it so far?

If you could be a crab or a lobster, which would you be and why? (make sure you have an answer ready!)

How long have you known about [place or event theme]? What got you interested in [place or event theme]?

(If at an event with drinks or food) I'm having trouble deciding what to choose, what should I try?

What superpower would you want and why?

What do you do for work? Do you like it? (follow by asking non-invasive questions about their job. This is easier when you have no clue what the job position actually is, lol).

Hey, I really like your style! Where did you get your outfit?/Who or what are your fashion influences?

What questions or topics of discussion do you typically go for when meeting new people?

[hystericalgynophobia]

i'm no longer fearful. men are all seemingly rapidly becoming like this. if they can go full radical (extremist term) why can’t we go full radical (root term) too? check this blog for updates over the next coming day/weeks/month. a big change is coming. we are stronger together, by the way. let them be distracted by tearing each other down over race/class/sexuality etc and other minor differences. the old “die heretic!” joke has never been so accurate. let’s focus on our commonality for now. that’s how resistance works, it cannot work in isolation. it needs community and solidarity. i’m considering a book, for free, online, drm free, no profit motive. donate if you want, it’ll go straight to the resistance. i’m making huge lists of recommendations (books, documentaries, etc. anything that isn’t PURELY fiction for the fiction website to read something else for a change). i’m making lists of links of terms and people to look up. if you don’t want to look, fine, it will still be there if/when you do. i’m turning off my privacy blockers and re-enabling search. i’m purging my blocklist, all 11 years of it. i’m making a community, maybe communities. join if you want. there will only be limited moderation to prevent predation and sadistic cruelty. it will be 18+, not for nsfw content, but because <18 need to socialize with their own. if they want to lie and sneak in like i used to, fine, but that’s up to and on them. maybe i’ll blaze them when it’s ready. 11 years with an account on here and 2 more before that and i still can’t pony up any money besides the monthly ad free fee? it’s given so much, why not? it’s under attack too, like the internet archive. why not?

in the meantime, i’ve switched to ecosia (both search engine and browser). go check it out. there’s an invite link at the bottom. it doesn’t do anything other than say how many people have signed up using it. it doesn’t cost or confer anything. all ad revenue supports the trees they plant after every whatever number of searches. your ad blockers don’t fully work anymore anyway. the privacy toggles are equivalent to duckduckgo and much better than chrome.

the link below will take you to the android or ios app or pc. whatever.

Check this out: Ecosia plants trees when you search the web! 🌳

Join me and 20M+ others and start planting today.

https://ecosia.co/app?referrer=friends-93lihr

If you’re using an iPhone or iPad, tap here to confirm you’ve joined:

ecosia://invite/friends-93lihr

/e/os is an os running on the android open source kit. no google, no apple, all functionality.

go get it on a freephone, the completely modular and right-to-repair smartphone made of ethically and sustainably sourced recycled materials.

all of this is the same functionality you already have but free, except for the fairphone obviously. think of the discontinued amazon smile program. speaking of. this third one (raiseright) even lets you buy an amazon giftcard and use between 6-20% of the money for the nonprofit of your choice with 100% same value, if you absolutely must purchase from amazon.

of course, bookshop is always better for books.

don’t see it there? older title? go check thriftbooks.

but first check your library. this extension will automatically check any and all libraries you choose for physical, ebook, and audiobook copies.

there are always alternatives. “no ethical consumption under capitalism” is true, but you still have a choice. you always do. a new world is possible. i hope to see you there. i’m pinning this, btw, because it is 4:30 am and i doubt many people will see this. maybe blaze it later without the top screenshot portion.

[cauldronblssd]

Morning edition -

Read on AO3

For @elucienweekofficial Day 7 - AU

Thank you to @panicatthenightcourt for helping me with a smutty idea for this fic! I hope you like it. 💚

The sound of claws scraping against the fabric of her headboard alerted Elain that her morning had begun. She groaned, covering her face with a pillow to drown out the sound of her cat’s insistent alarm letting her know that he was ready for breakfast. Faint sounds of morning traffic buzzed around her, another sign of the inevitability of the start of her day.  

Elain drowsily padded to the kitchen. She filled the coffeepot with grounds and water before turning her attention to her cat. Suri hopped up on the counter, circling her as she reached for a can of wet food, his paws tapping out a little dance. He nudged her hand with his soft cheek, urging her to move more quickly, as she popped open the putrid smelling can of wet food and dished it out onto a plate.  

The steady drip of the coffeepot began as she turned on the radio she’d bought for cheap at a thrift store. She’d rushed to buy it in excitement when her sister, Feyre, landed her first job at the station as an arts and culture reporter, insisting that it wasn’t enough to hear her voice over the online stream - she needed to hear it on a physical radio.  

Since, she’d grown into a habit of listening every morning, though her sister wouldn’t be on for another forty-five minutes. The familiar sound of her favorite news reporter filled the room, his voice smooth and low as he spoke of some bill to raise sales tax for the benefit of real estate developers.  

Generally, listening to the news would set her on edge, there rarely being anything good to say. But listening to the deep lull of his radio voice as he interviewed a city council person, serious and yet inviting, soothed her. It had become part of her morning routine, something that she looked forward to as surely as her cup of coffee. She’d tried to imagine him, from time to time, as equally handsome to match his deep velvet voice. However, whenever she tried, she remembered the droll dinner she’d been to with Feyre’s boss, a man probably four decades her senior, wearing penny loafers. She’d liked him all the same, and he’d sent her free tickets to a local jazz festival.  

Elain continued to listen absently as she drank her cup of coffee and watered the myriad of plants lining the windowsill of her kitchen. Every room of her house had a few, but her kitchen got the most sunlight, something she took advantage of by something placing green and growing on every available surface.  

She looked in her fridge, unfortunately empty of food after hosting her sisters and their friends for a movie night earlier in the week. Nesta and Emerie had been training for a marathon, and needed a constant intake of carbs to make up for it – or so they claimed as they scarfed down everything in her apartment. Her phone made a vibrating noise against the hard linoleum of her counters.  

Feyre: Good morning 😇  Elain: ...  Feyre: What, no good morning for your little sister?  Elain: How good the morning is depends on what you want, Fey  Feyre: Would you pretty, pretty please bring me a coffee at the studio?   Elain: Doesn't your work have coffee?   Feyre: Yeah and it’s very economical and tastes terrible. This is PUBLIC radio.   Elain: Isn’t your workday over in a couple hours anyway?   Feyre: Yes, but I have a date after work...  Elain: With that rich guy?   Feyre: Rhys!   Feyre: Please he’s so hot and I don’t want to fall asleep and drool.   Feyre: He’s taking me to the opera and he’s got box seats.   Elain: FINE but you’re taking me to the craft festival this weekend.  Elain: And you’re buying my beer.  Feyre: DEAL  Feyre: Iced oat-milk latte with extra foam pls 

Elain shook her head, setting her phone back down to hop in the shower. After visiting Feyre, she planned to visit the community gardens. She had a small plot with some lettuce and cucumbers growing that would need watering and her flower bed would need weeding. With that in mind, she threw on a pair of denim shorts and a loose t-shirt. She braided her hair back away from her face in hopes of keeping the dirt out of it. It wasn’t much, but she planned to just run into bring her sister the coffee and get out as quickly as possible before the afternoon sun started to kick in. Chucking on her sneakers, she grabbed her keys to head out of the house, giving Suri one last kiss on the head.  

Elain walked to the coffee shop near her house after stopping to talk to her elderly neighbor, Pam, who liked to have her morning coffee on her porch steps and chat with anyone that passed. She tended to talk for too long, but Elain didn’t mind listening. After growing up with Nesta and Feyre, she felt used to it. After hitting the walk sign at all three intersections she had to cross to get to Scythia, Elain had decided it was her lucky day.  

Elain popped open the glass door, entering the air-conditioned chill. She immediately spotted the familiar vibrant red hair of Vassa as she stepped inside. Vassa always changed her appearance, and she currently had it cut into what she assured Elain was a trendy mullet - short on the top with longer strands in the back that reached the base of her neck. Her arms, covered in brightly colored tattoos, flexed as she tamped down on some espresso.  

The room was loud, between the music Jurian always had blaring over the speakers, the screeching sounds of steaming milk, and the chatter of people seated at the tables throughout the shop. At the back, Jurian perched on their brightly colored pink couch as he crouched over a laptop screen in front of him, paperwork piled to the side. She offered him a friendly wave before walking up the counter to her friend.  

“Hey beautiful!” Vassa smiled broadly at her. “You’re not usually in here this early.”  

“I’m headed to check on my romaine, but I promised Feyre I’d bring her something at work.”  

“That’s generous of you.” Vassa quirked one eyebrow as she took the two empty glass jars that Elain handed to her.  

“She was up late. New boyfriend.” The last part she said with a conspiratorial whisper as she leaned towards the counter.  

“How’d she meet this one?” Vassa turned to look at her as she measured out the milk for their drinks. 

“Some work thing. His company donates to the station.”  

“Scandalous.” Vassa offered her a cheeky wink. “Does he have any rich brothers?” 

“Planning a backup boyfriend?” Vassa and Jurian had been together for three years, and despite their constant arguing, they never wavered, living together while also running the shop.  

“For you, dumbass.”  

Elain swatted at her. “Thanks for the lookout, but I don’t need my little sister to set me up.”  

“How about me then, Jurian knows this guy who...”  

Elain cut her off with a hand in the air. “I love you, Vass, but after you set me up with that guy obsessed with birds, you’ve lost your credibility.”  

Vassa handed her two jars now filled to the brim with coffee, the milk swirling cloudlike in the glass. “He was hot, but point taken.”  

Elain shoved a generous tip into the jar at the counter before waving to a half-distracted Vassa, already in the midst of preparing a particularly sugary drink for a teenager waiting patiently.  

***** 

The walk to the radio station where Feyre worked was long and the ice in Feyre’s drink quickly began to melt. Elain held the overfull drink carefully as she stepped towards the door of the studio. She fumbled as she reached the door, her hands full and her grip precarious.  

“I’ve got it” a familiar voice called from behind her. Against her will, Elain shivered in response. God, she was acting like a weirdo in front of this probably middle-aged married man on his way to work.  She focused her gaze on the cement pavement of the sidewalk, blinding as the sun gleamed overhead. She watched his shadow as he came closer to her.  

It took but a few long strides for him to reach her, a broad elegant hand reaching to grasp the door. His body was close behind hers, allowing her to scent the warm spice of his cologne. His wife probably bought it for him, she reminded herself. But as she watched a tendon in his muscled forearm flex with the movement, she couldn’t help but scan his unadorned hand for a wedding band.  

“Do you know where you’re headed?” The door opened, and she shut her eyes to adjust the dull fluorescent lighting. His body stepped closer to hers, the heat from his hand approaching her back without ever touching.  

Her voice squeaked when she spoke. “Just dropping off coffee.” She lifted one as if to prove her point.  

“Ah. Delivery?” He’d come to stand beside her, but Elain wouldn’t let herself to look up. She didn’t want to break the spell of his voice so close to hers, afraid of what she might find.  

God she must seem like an idiot. “OH. Uh no, actually. Just for my sister.”  

“I should have known. You must be Feyre’s sister.” She looked up, finally, forcing herself to act like an adult and not a shy adolescent who had never spoken to a crush before. She was forced to crane her neck to meet his gaze and OH.  

Lucien Vanserra was a god, easily the most beautiful man she’d ever seen. His tall frame was equally broad, the muscles of his chest seeming to strain against the smooth fabric of his checked shirt. He’d left only the first two buttons open, a professional, and yet just the hint of his gleaming brown skin underneath caused her mouth to go dry. He smiled widely at her, causing a scar over his eye to bunch at the corners. His eyes were a beautiful russet brown, mirthful as he watched her stumble for words.  

“You know her?” Elain offered dumbly.  

“Against my own will, I assure you.” He gestured one hand in front of him to indicate that they move.  

Elain’s feet felt too heavy, stuck to the ground as she struggled to recalibrate her mind. This could not be the same man who just spoke about taxes of all things. His full lips were too beautiful, his voice too sultry, to be bogged down with such tedious minutiae.  

They wandered through a hallway covered in scuffed linoleum tile, clearly a carryover from decades prior. Elain paid no attention to doors they passed or where they turned. She felt as if her world had been turned around, her mind turning to accept this new piece of information. Lucien, the man who mediated a debate for city council, who reported on the new wastewater plant, who she’d fantasized about on more than one occasion, was gorgeous and walking next to her and – Elain cursed herself, clearing her mind of her spiraling thoughts.  

It had been too long since she’d broken up with Graysen, a dry spell that had had all but turned into unwilling chastity. She feared her summons for the convent would come any day. Could one be recruited for that sort of thing? The cheerful laugh of Feyre brought her back to her senses, followed by an unfamiliar voice muttering something in response.  

Next to her, Lucien sighed dramatically. “Rhysand is here.”  

Elain bit her cheek to keep from laughing. “You don’t like him?” She couldn’t look at him, fearing the flush already forming would give her away.  

“I do, he’s just been here...a lot lately.” He looked at her with a pointed lift of his brow.  

She smirked, but said nothing. Far be it for her to reveal a torrid workplace affair her sister may or may not be engaged in. Though technically, she supposed, Rhysand didn’t work for the station, he just...sponsored it. She wasn’t sure if that was better or worse. Would Rhys pull his funding when Feyre inevitably got bored and moved on, as she always seemed to do?  

Lucien knocked pointedly on the open doorway with a sharp rap, announcing their presence before entering. What could they be doing in an office to necessitate that?  

“Feyre, a visitor for you.” Feyre turned her face towards Elain and immediately winced apologetically. Not comprehending, Elain scanned her sister, wondering if she had been caught in something scandalous after all. That’s when she saw. TRAITOR.  

Feyre stood with a large plastic cup in hand, holding some kind of sweetened drink concoction laden in caramel drizzle. She didn’t even like sweet drinks! She had teased Nesta mercilessly for her preferences, had labelled her as basic on more than one occasion.  

Elain smiled with chagrin, not letting her ire seep through in front of Rhys and Lucien. “I see you’ve got your caffeine covered.” The condensation from the glass began to drip down her hand uncomfortably. She turned towards Lucien, leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed in amusement.  

“I don’t suppose you like an oat milk latte?” He was polished from head to toe, his shirt pressed and his large black watch gleaming like the shine of his auburn hair. She became very aware of her own lackluster appearance, her shirt advertising Gwyn and Emerie’s gym that she admittedly rarely visited.  

“I’m more of a tea guy myself.” A frown began to pull at the corners of her mouth, her irritation at her sister unfairly cast in the direction of this innocent bystander.  

He smirked, stepping towards her. “But I can’t say no to a free drink.” His hand brushed hers as he took it from her hands, and she bit her lip to contain the gasp caught in her throat. She watched with lurid fascination as he lifted the jar to his lips, the clear glass allowing her to see his tongue as he licked some water off the side before taking a sip. His throat bobbed as he swallowed, and she couldn’t tear her eyes away. His eyes met hers as he pulled it from his face, their gazes locking before Rhysand interrupted.  

“Nice of you to escort her, Vanserra.” His tone implied that it was not nice at all. If Elain had more sense, she might have unraveled whatever male bravado was taking place in front of her, what tangled web her sister might be weaving. Instead, she stood dumbly, all words gone for the moment.  

“Oh, um.” she fiddled with the tail of her braid, twisting it between her fingers, “Yes, thanks.”  

Feyre cringed, as if embarrassed at her sister’s poor social skills. Normally, Elain would be the one to smooth things over, to offer whatever polite phrase a situation required.  

“Anyway, I should go. I’ve got to check on my lettuce.” God, she sounded like an idiot. Rhysand grinned devilishly, his smile revealing his unusually sharp canines.  

“Wouldn’t want to leave that lettuce unsupervised, Elain. It was nice to meet you.” Elain silently cursed him even as she had to admit he was handsome. He exuded charisma, the cut of his sweater too sharp to truly be casual. He was different than Feyre’s usual type, a challenge to which her sister would certainly rise.  

Elain only nodded before quickly exiting down the hall. Damn her and her lusty brain, she hadn’t paid attention to the direction back to the entrance at all. Each hall was the same dull gray, covered in tacky textured wallpaper from the eighties. The old scent of cigarette smoke clung to it. Elain needed fresh air, needed the green of her plants and the scent of fresh soil. Just as she was considering how ludicrous it would be to airdrop her location to her sister in an office building of all places, she startled to attention as an older person with a badge labelling them as Bryaxis, stepped from the shadows. “Exit is first door on your left.”  

Elain waved half-heartedly, “got it, thanks!” before moving her short legs at a brisker pace towards the exit. If her sister wanted coffee delivered to her desk again, she could call Nesta.  

***** 

Elain was sorting through her, admittedly cluttered, closet for a tote bag to bring to the craft fair when she felt her phone vibrate.  

Feyre: Downstairs  Elain: Almost ready, come up?  Feyre: In a tow away zone  

Goddammit. Elain reached her hand in and grabbed the first bag she could find before slipping into a pair of shoes and rushing out the door and racing down the creaky stairs. Her sister awaited her in an old Honda civic, something poppy blasting from her staticky stereo system.  

“My neighbors are all retired, you’re gonna get me a noise complaint.” 

Feyre, ever stubborn, turned up the music one octave louder. “Please, they are too busy ogling you.” Elain scrunched her nose in disapproval. “You look cute, by the way.”  

Elain smoothed out the cotton of her dress. “What did you do?” 

“NOTHING! Can’t a girl be nice to her sister?” Elain narrowed her eyes but shrugged, noting her sister taking the side street leading towards Scythia.  

“Coffee first?”  

“Always.” Elain said nothing about the dark bruise that looked like a bitemark clearly visible on her sister’s neck beneath her wavy hair.  

“Good time with fancy pants?”  

“Rhys!” She admonished her. Elain shrugged, a clear indication that she had no intention of calling him by that anytime soon. “And yes, the opera was...interesting.”  

“Interesting how?” While her sister had an artistic spirit, she’d certainly never expressed an interest in the opera before. That was more of Nesta’s scene. Feyre grinned mischievously.  

“GOD never mind, don’t tell me.” 

“Boring” Feyre scoffed, rolling up with a smooth glide to parallel park. Elain would not admit that she was impressed, that she would walk to the shop in almost any weather to avoid this very parking situation.  

“Come on, my little deviant. Coffee awaits.” Elain flipped her hair dramatically as she stormed into the coffee shop with a flourish. Vassa would side with her, she was mostly certain. She grinned as she saw her leaning across the counter, her laugh resounding throughout the small space. That smile fell short when she realized who she who was making her laugh so gleefully.  

Feyre, unperturbed, bounded up, bumping her shoulder with Lucien’s almost aggressively. Lucien didn’t flinch, his body unmoving as he glanced down at her. His mouth opened to say something to her when he turned, catching Elain in his vision. He watched her for a moment, his eyes moving up and down to take her in, before turning back to Feyre. Vassa’s own eyes widened as she looked towards Elain gesturing between Lucien and Feyre in question. Lucien caught the motion and scowled at Vassa. 

Feyre, less subtly made a gagging sound. “Him, god no!!”  

Lucien placed his hand over his heart dramatically. “Ouch, Feyre. My ego is fragile.”  

“Please, your ego is the size of the state of California.” Taking the distraction as the time to approach, Elain sidled up to the counter to face Vassa.  

"No jars to return, sorry! I’ll bring them next time.” Vassa half-heartedly gave her a stern look, before one slid down the counter.  

Vassa glanced once again assessingly before beaming a broad smile, her blue eyes shining brightly. “You’ve met Lucien as well?”  

Lucien cleared his throat. “Briefly, she came to see Feyre at work.”  

“Ah.” Vassa smiled knowingly, not seeming dissuaded from whatever she was scheming.  

Feyre looked at Lucien and then at Vassa.  “Did you tell her your dirty secret?” 

Lucien’s eyes widened and he glanced towards Elain. “What secret?”  

“You’re a tea drinker.”  

Vassa nodded solemnly. “A fate worse than death. But we keep him around for his good looks.”  

Feyre rolled her eyes. “If you say so.”  

Vassa nodded towards Elain’s empty bag. “Where are you two pretty ladies headed?” 

Elain smiled, about to explain about the macrame planter she planned on buying when Feyre chimed in, “Want to join us, Loosh?”  

She ignored the irrational spike of jealousy at Feyre’s close relationship with Lucien. Lucien, looked towards her.  

“Don’t call me that. I have plans with Jurian, if he ever gets off his ass!” The last part was yelled pointedly to where Jurian sat perched atop his pink sofa cursing at his computer. He threw up his middle finger towards Lucien without so much as a glance.  

Elain laughed, “With company like that, I can see why you can’t tear yourself away.” 

Lucien grinned as he looked her over, as if he might consider bailing on his friend after all. His eyes paused at her hands holding her empty tote bag ready to be filled with stickers and knick knacks she had no space for in her tiny apartment.  

“Nice bag.” He said it with his brows lifted and a cocky grin on his face. 

Elain furrowed her brows in consternation, wondering what could arouse such a response before she looked down at the beige bag hooked under her arm. Her face flushed with embarrassment as she stared at the I love public radio bag she’d earned for free at an event she’d volunteered at with Feyre. She reminded herself he couldn’t possibly know that it was his voice she thought about, he was just being playful.  

Still, she could have kissed Jurian when he trounced over, slinging an arm around her as he rolled his eyes at Lucien instinctively. “Are you bothering my favorite customer, Lucien?”  

“What am I then, you ingrate?” 

“A nuisance, clearly.”  

Feyre had become absorbed in her phone as she chewed on the corner of her lip. Only when the group had come to a comfortable silence did she look up. Elain stared at her drink sitting on the counter and reluctantly extricated herself from Jurian’s arm to go claim it.  

Despite having looked forward to the craft fair with her sister all week, a part of her was disappointed Lucien couldn’t come, that she might not have an excuse to see him after this. As they walked away, she found herself turning a half step back to look at him, some words lost on her lips. He too, turned to watch her, his jaw flexing as he waited for her to say something. Instead, she just turned and walked away with Feyre, squinting at the bright glare of the sun.  

**** 

Elain was lounging on the couch, Suri curled up by her feet as she half watched reality TV and scrolled through her phone. It wasn’t the most exciting Saturday night, but after a long week at work and a day out in the sun, she couldn’t bring herself to leave. Open containers of rice and tofu still littered her coffee table that she’d had the foresight to pick up on her way home, knowing she wouldn’t want to leave once she enveloped herself in the blankets on her couch.  

Her view of the recipe blog was interrupted by a text from an unknown number popping up on her screen. A spam text, she reasoned, or something equally boring from her pharmacy. Still, she opened the message and her heart skipped a bit.  

Hey, it’s Lucien  Elain: Oh, hi it’s Elain. But you knew that already ☺️  Elain: Unless you were hoping for Feyre 👀  Lucien: Talking to Feyre during the work day is more than enough.   Elain: She wouldn’t text you back unless you were Rhys, anyway  Elain: Speaking from experience here  Lucien: Good thing I’m talking to you then 

Elain struggled to formulate a response. Was he flirting with her? He messaged her on a Saturday night, which certainly suggested more than a friendly message with his friend’s sister. The idea of flirting with Lucien Vanserra both excited and terrified her. After all, this was the man whose voice she woke into in the mornings, the same voice that sometimes visited her at night in her dreams. He’d seemed charming in the briefest moments she’d talked to him at his work and at the coffeeshop, but not alone. What if he was a creep? He did clearly get her number from someone else after all...probably Jurian. If he gets to be at the center of gossip, he’ll give any information away.  

Elain: A pleasant surprise...I think. Unless you’re trying to rope me into helping Vassa re stain their back deck, in which case, get lost. I already told her no three times.   Lucien: Damn, I never tell her no.   Elain: A dangerous state of affairs.  Lucien: I guess you’ll be sitting pretty next weekend while I’m sanding and staining.   Elain: She’s a micromanager too. Get ready to have your technique corrected.  Lucien: I don’t usually get corrected on my technique.  

Did he just? Elain couldn’t tell if he took his home remodeling tasks that seriously, or if he really was inserting a sexual innuendo into a conversation with a stranger about routine deck maintenance. Well, a little confidence doesn’t hurt, she supposed.  

Elain: Feyre did say today that you have a big ego.   Lucien: Casting aspersions on me already. I’ll remember that when she asks me to look the other way while she sneaks off with Rhys during work hours.   Elain: It’s sounds like you’re getting pushed around left and right.   Lucien: Your turn next.  

There was a pause, while Elain calculated what to say. Whereas before, she wasn’t sure if he had been flirting, she didn’t know how she could take this message another way. She wasn’t used to this. She’d been with Graysen for years, and for the last several he hardly noticed her at all, let alone took the time to flirt with her. Then, since their breakup, she’d taken time for herself, unwilling to give up her independence. Lucien, though... 

Lucien: What are you doing tonight?  

Elain bit her lip, taking a picture of her cartons of food and the reality TV in the background and sent it to him.  

Lucien: A wild Saturday night then? Let me take you out.  

Elain couldn’t help but laugh. It would take a fire to force her out of her pajamas right now.   Elain: Now? I’m in my PJ’s.   Lucien: Drinks on me. You can come in your PJ’s if you want. Fuzzy slippers and all.  

Elain thought about correcting him that she worse fuzzy socks, not slippers, but supposed it was semantics. The idea of getting dressed exhausted her, but she couldn’t deny the thrill of seeing him. When was the last time she felt, young, did something reckless?  

Elain stepped off the couch, extricating her feet gently from their warm spot under her cat. As she acclimated to her vertical position, she mentally calculated what it would take to make herself presentable.  

Elain: Nothing fancy  Lucien: Perfect, the bar down the street from Scythia’s? Rask? I can pick you up.  Elain: That’s alright, I’ll walk. See you there in an hour?   Lucien: I’m looking forward to it.  

Elain added a little heart to his message and then began frantically throwing apart her closet for something to wear. When did she buy so many cardigans? Everything in her wardrobe looked like it could have just as easily fit in at a retirement home.  

Under normal circumstances, she might have bothered Feyre or Nesta for something sexy to wear, or even Vassa, whose clothes were less sexy and more edgy and cool. But Elain did NOT want to admit what she had planned to Feyre, or Nesta by proxy, who would immediately reveal her secrets to their group chat, not to mention her friends. Vassa, too, would be left out of this given her and Jurian’s possible involvement. She couldn’t encourage them after that Koschei incident.  

Instead, she dug through all of her dresses, looking for something that looked appropriate to wear at night. She pushed past all her pastel dresses to one clingy number she’d bought on a whim and rarely worn, preferring loose styles that let her move freely. It was a deep green, simple, and yet it clung to her somewhat non-existent curves, giving her the illusion of breasts. Her hair was mussed from rolling around on the couch, she raked her fingers through the waves and hoped it appeared tousled rather than the bed head it truly was.  

It would have to do. She didn’t bother with makeup, deciding that if he wanted to bother her so late at night, he could see her barefaced. She spritzed on some perfume that she walked through as she headed out the door, grabbing her “I love public radio” bag along the way.  

It was a long walk, but the arm was warm and a breeze brushed against her cheeks. It smelled of the streets, cement and trash and that faint scent of something she didn’t care to imagine. She followed all the street laws, despite the diminished traffic in the evening, waiting at every crosswalk for the flashing sign to proceed despite the absence of any cars. Each pause had her rethinking, half tempted to turn and run back to the safety of her home and the comfort of her plants and her cat.  

This is what Vassa always teased her about. When they’d met, she’d been as social and outgoing as Vassa, able to match her energy from one house party and show and bar to the next. Recently, she’d become more of a homebody, favoring her plants and creature comforts in lieu of time in the outside world. She tried to remind herself she could do this, she’d never had a problem attracting men, besides.  

Lucien was an NPR reporter, an enthusiast of local politics and an active participant in the fall and spring fund drives. Surely, he couldn’t be a party animal either, with a call time of five AM or something else equally absurd. Still, it had been him who suggested they meet at the last minute. Was this a booty call? Would he still buy her drinks, then?  

It seemed a strange move to select your coworker’s sister for such an arrangement, but perhaps she was naive. She’d have to keep her head on her shoulders, even when he spoke to her with that low seductive voice or wore another well-fitted shirt that showed off his expansive chest. Elain squared her shoulders, resolving herself to be firm in her resolution not to go home with him that night as she entered the chaotic noise of the bar.  

Dim lights lit the space crowded full of people flanked at the bar and filling most of the tables. Along the back entrance, a group crowded around a pool table and the loud clank of balls rattling in the pockets reverberated against the cement walls.  

The low rasp of Lucien’s voice saying her name next to her ear startled her and she jumped, nearly falling over herself. His broad hands clasped her shoulders, holding her firm as he stood behind her.  

“I didn’t mean to startle you, I wasn’t sure you’d hear me if I called your name.”  

Elain turned to look at him, despite the part of her that wanted to lean into his hold, rest her head against his chest and allow herself to let go. Even in the grim lighting of the bar, he looked beautiful. His auburn hair cascaded around his shoulders, falling against his strong shoulders constrained within the fabric of his white shirt. He’d left more buttons loose than at the office, allowing her an unprecedented amount of skin. She wanted to reach for it, certain that his whole body ran hot, somehow. His hands on her arms had felt scalding against her skin.  

He looked at her, as if sensing the battle she had with her instincts. A smirk grew at the corner of his mouth as he stated “Cute pajamas. I almost wore my garfield pajama pants, I’m glad I changed my mind.”   

Elain laughed, feeling relieved to be more at ease. “You do not wear garfield pajamas.”  

“You’ll see.” She hoped she did, though she wouldn’t say so. Though she’d much prefer to see him out of the pajamas. “Should we grab a drink?”  

Elain nodded as he placed his hand at the small of her back, leading her towards the throng of people vying for the attention of the sole bartender. He towered over the crowd easily, an advantage Elain envied as everyone easily blocked her from view. He made some kind of gesture with a simple lift of his chin, and suddenly the bartender was in front of them. He motioned towards her, allowing her to order for herself.  

After Elain ordered a simple gin and tonic, he ordered his beer and they were seated at a table as far away from the exuberant noise as they could manage. Still, they leaned across the table to talk to each other, and Elain couldn’t help but breathe in the warm, woodsy scent of his cologne. His hair fell in front of his face as he spoke, and she longed to touch it, to tuck it behind his ear and see the scarred side of his face more clearly. It made him all the more beautiful, cruel and rugged despite his well-dressed appearance.  

“Well?” Elain looked towards him expectantly. He had invited her out to drinks, after all. Surely, he had some plan in mind.  

“Well, I’d like to get to know you, Elain.” He said this with a sultry tone that implied something different than the casual acquaintance he was offering.  

“Get to know me.” Though it was a question, the flatness of her tone implied that she doubted his claim very much. He wanted to sleep with her, and despite her earlier determination that she would not go home with him tonight, she found herself imagining undressing him, gently unfastening each of the buttons on his shirt and licking her way down as she went.  

“You seem surprised” He offered with a lift of the brow. “Is there something else you had in mind?” 

Elain huffed. “It’s you who invited me here tonight, Lucien. Get to know me then. Isn’t this what you do?”  

“Alright, you garden. Why?” He crossed his arms in front of himself, readying to rise to the challenge. 

“Why not? The world needs gardens.”  

Lucien smiled broadly at that. “Tell me more about that.”  

Elain bit her lip, thinking as she formulated a response. “It feels good to grow my own food, and to have some left over to share.” She paused, unsure if she wanted to share more. Lucien placed his hand face down on the table as if he might reach for her. “My family didn’t always have enough to eat growing up, and I couldn’t help” she corrected herself “didn’t help. I didn’t try. I don’t ever want to feel helpless like that again.”  

Lucien nodded, absorbing her words. “Food is what you like to grow then?”  

Here, Elain couldn’t stop her smile. “And flowers. The world needs some beauty, too. I grow native plants, so I can help the pollinators in the process. I help plant trees, too, once a month or so.”  

Lucien looked at her, his eyes full of warmth. “You’re incredible.”  

The flush on her cheeks bloomed, creeping down to her chest and up to her ears. “What about you? What do you like to do when you’re not on the radio?”  

“I like to be outside too, though I guess I take the more passive approach. I hike, swim, anything to be out in fresh air and sunshine.” Elain half laughed to herself, forcing down the joke about fresh air she was sure he’d heard too many times since working for public radio. “There’s a pond, outside of town, it’s beautiful in the spring. The water is a deep blue and I swear it shines like starlight. I could take you, sometime.”  

“I’d like that.” Elain didn’t hesitate, the offer of the clear pool and the company too enticing to feign resistance.  

After that, things were easier. Elain described the ill-fated hike she went on with Nesta and her friends, in which she’d vastly underestimated the training required to hike the Grand Canyon. Gwyn and Emerie completed the hike and Nesta very begrudgingly stayed behind with Elain after the first day when she couldn’t continue with her sore legs and the blisters on her feet. Nesta still didn’t let her live it down, promising never to take Elain on one of her trips again.  

That was just as well, Elain preferred the sort of vacations that involved exploring new cities and seeing sights to those that involved equipment and a rigorous fitness routine. She could see the Grand Canyon without climbing it, she reasoned.  

Lucien too, had stories of ill-fated travels, particularly those that involved Vassa and Jurian. Vassa once went missing for two days, apparently of her own choice. He laughed easily at her jokes, and sometimes his own, putting her at ease. It felt like she’d always known him somehow, rather than just the hour or two it had truly been. When there was nothing but the sound of ice clinking in her glass, Elain felt unsure of her next move. Should she offer to buy the next round of drinks? Invite him back to her apartment? While she weighed her choices, Lucien took action.  

“Should I get you another drink? Or do I risk the wrath of your bunny slippers?” He looked all too pleased with himself, and Elain huffed as she considered her response. 

“I’ll have you know they are socks, not slippers. You can come back to my apartment and see for yourself, if you’d like.” Her stomach twisted the moment the words left her mouth. The proposition was bold and entirely humiliating at the same time. Was there a less sexy way to ask a man back to your apartment than with the promise of fuzzy socks? If there was, she couldn’t think of it.  

Lucien, undeterred, leaned forward on his crossed arms. “Are you asking me to come home with you, Elain?”  

Elain stuttered, unable to form coherent words. Lucien, placed a hand on her wrist in encouragement. Thoughts of him holding her down by her wrists encouraged her to continue. “Um, yes?”  

Lucien didn’t wait any longer, dropping off their empty drinks at the bar before placing his hand again on the small of her back. “Let’s go.”  

The car ride was brief and Elain was both amused and unsurprised to learn than Lucien drove a very practical and environmentally friendly Prius, rather than something showy he surely could have afforded however he afforded the nice clothes one certainly couldn’t buy on a public radio salary. His hand found her thigh as he drove down the quiet streets. When he parked in front of her apartment building, her nerves caught up with her again. Casual sex was not Elain’s forte. She had a feeling Lucien had more experience in that arena, judging by the relaxed way he touched her or his boldness in leaving the bar.  

He stood closely behind her as she jingled her keys in the door, unlocking the several deadbolts she had in place from living alone. She could feel his breath on her neck. The moment they entered her small apartment, Suri raced to the door, weaving between Lucien’s legs. He didn’t react, standing in place taking in her apartment.  

“You like cats?” She tried not to squint her eyes as she reassessed his character. His first red flag, not immediately adoring Suri like most people who entered her apartment.  

“I’m allergic” he winced.  

She crossed her arms in front of her chest, her voice coming out haughty. “How allergic?”  

He held up his hands in defense. “Not that allergic.”   

“Suri’s not leaving, so.” She raised her brow as in indication that he could leave if he had a problem with it.  

“Dually noted. I’ll take some medicine in the morning, it’ll be fine.”  

“In the morning, huh?” Elain placed her keys on the hook on the wall and kicked off her shoes.  

 “I’ll be busy until then.”  

Elain was about to make a joke about him being over confident, when he stepped in front of her, placing his hand on her jaw. She gasped, leaning up to him instinctively. He met his mouth with hers, all force and heat. She reached up, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck as she had to stand on her toes to lean into him properly.  

She’d only just kissed him, and already she felt desperate not to stop. His lips felt plush against her own, his hands on her face both firm and tender. When his teeth grazed her bottom lip, she let out a whimper, her mouth parting. The slide of his tongue into her mouth might unfurled something in her. She understood why he promised to be busy all night. If he used his tongue like this, she would lock him in her apartment if she had to. She felt desperate, greedy for him to touch her, to her body align with his own.  

Elain gently pushed at his chest with the tips of her fingers and Lucien froze instantly, his body going still as he looked down at her in concern. “Sit” she ordered with more force than she anticipated. He turned his head towards where she gestured, walking silently to the couch next to her still open containers of food. He raked his hands through his hair, as if nervous the kiss had already ended poorly.  

“Elain, I” She cut him off as her knees dipped into the soft cushions of the couch straddling his lap as she settled on top of him. Her face cupped his cheek as the other roamed any exposed skin around his collar.  

“Lucien.” It was a plea, one said with half a breath, all she could manage when she felt the heat of his skin under her palm. The moment felt surreal, happening too quickly, and yet there was an anxious flutter pulsing in her that demanded more, faster. She didn’t have to wait long as Lucien pulled her closer by the waist. Unlike her own roaming, his fingers stayed where they firmly gripped her, the other settling on her calf where it rested on the other side of his thighs. Her dress pulled up higher around her thighs from the wide spread of her legs, revealing more skin. Yet he remained still, focused.  

His mouth began to move more freely as he licked a broad stripe along the side of her neck. She gasped and he nipped at it, before pulling her earlobe between his teeth. “Elain” he repeated, this time with his lips brushing against her ear. The feel of his breath and the desperation in his tone, almost whimpering, sent goosebumps along her arms.  

This was not just any voice in her ear, but Lucien’s. It was the same voice she heard every morning, and not. It had taken on a gravely tone, his voice raw instead of the smooth rolling tones that he used on the radio.  

She wanted to draw every note out of him. Elain rolled her hips, testing his reaction. It was her that moaned first, when she felt how hard he was underneath her. She wanted to look down, to guess at the size of him through his well-tailored trousers, but that would pull her away from the way he panted in her ear. She found she wanted that, more.  

She sank down further, grinding against him with force, allowing some of the friction to rub against the lace of her panties. The pressure sent jolts of pleasure directly to her clit. The chaste hand on her calf moved up then. Lucien slid his broad hand from her calf up her thigh to her waist, guiding her as she moved. “You’re perfect.” He groaned into her ear.  

His hips rolled up into her hers in a smooth, undulating rhythm. Every movement he made was easy and graceful. She’d hardly have described dry humping as elegant, but with Lucien, his soft hair curling around the scar on his face and the luxuriant tenor of his voice, it was. She felt more beautiful too, from the way he looked at her reverently. His eyes were half lidded and a hint of a smile at the corners of his lips as he watched her. He toyed with her hair, pulling gently at the nape of her neck to bring her lips back against his own.  

Instead of the soft, wet slide of before, she sucked a bit. He was completely in control, but his movements were never rough or sloppy, but exacting, each one edged with promise. Elain whimpered into his mouth, her nails digging into his shoulders. She needed more.  

“Take off your dress for me.” The words were a demand in her ear.  

Elain didn’t think before she complied, pulling her hands back from where they pulled at his shirt to grab at the edge of her dress, lifting it over her head with the arch of her back. He didn’t hesitate, moving his hands over every new exposed bit of skin. She watched his eyes as she unclasped her bra, revealing her admittedly small breasts. Lucien palmed each in a broad hand before roaming his thumbs across her nipples. He pinched one sharply, pulling another gasp from Elain.  

She liked the way Lucien took his time with her, never rushing to the next step, needing to take his own pleasure. Instead, he let his hands trace her body as his mouth dropped to one breast, laving at her nipples softly while he tweaked and pulled at the other. The combination of the sensations, both tender and demanding drove her wild. She’d never been so wet, all but slipping against her panties as she ground against him once more.  

She found she didn’t want to rush him, excited to see what he would do next. She did, however, begin to toy at the buttons of his shirt, almost hoping he wouldn’t notice as she undressed him. When she got half way to his abdomen, she couldn’t reach around his arms and huffed in frustration.  

Lucien, pulled back, smiling lazily up at her. “Did you need something, love?” 

“Yes, take it off.” He raised his eyebrows in question. “Please.”  

Lucien made quick work of the buttons before all but ripping his shirt off. Instead of the chance to ogle at his very muscular chest as she intended, Lucien lifted her easily by the legs before placing her back down on the couch on her back.  

Lucien didn’t crawl over her like she expected. Instead, he sank to his knees, pulling her legs over his shoulders. Elain flushed, embarrassed at how exposed she felt and yet unable to look away as his eyes roamed her body from this angle, taking in her face and breasts before looking at the obviously dark spot of red lace between her legs.  

“You’re so pretty, baby.” He praised as he began to run his knuckle up and down the wetness through her panties. He pulled, causing the fabric to rub almost uncomfortably against her clit. “Look at this pretty, pink, pussy.” 

“Lucien” she groaned. She didn’t want to rush him, but... She could feel his breath on her, and his hands running tantalizingly along her inner thighs. She needed something and she feared she’d lose control soon.  

Lucien lifted away from her legs as he pulled her underwear down her thighs tantalizingly slowly. He began his casual perusal again, soaking a thumb through her wetness. Just as she was sure he was about to start rubbing in earnest, he looked at her and gave one sharp slap against her pussy. Elain gasped, uncertain what would come next.  

He wasted no time, licking softly at the hurt, her clit now even more sensitive and desperate for his touch. His tongue licked broad stripes between her folds, moving down to circle between her opening. He felt warm and soft and wet and Elain already had to cover her mouth to contain herself from making noises that would certainly wake her elderly neighbors. Her other hand found his hair, pressing his mouth firmly against her as he sucked in sloppy open-mouthed kisses. The wet noises were obscene, ugly in a way she found satisfying from composed and debonair Lucien.  

Every time Elain felt her orgasm begin to crest, Lucien would pull away, sucking on her folds or delivering sharp bites to inner thighs. She began to feel frustrated, huffing and whining in hopes that Lucien would give her what she wanted. She knew he could and yet, he chose not to do it.  

It was different with some men, who could never make her come until she begrudgingly touched herself. Lucien circled the outside of her clit, just the barest of brushes, letting his saliva drip down until it collected with her own juices. He was completely in control, choosing what he would give her, all she could do was take. It frustrated her, and yet letting herself go to it felt better than she’d expected. Her thoughts were a blur, just heat and desire and that frantic feeling crawling up her spine. She couldn’t hold still, Lucien pressing her down with one firm hand. Her cunt ached, her clit throbbing. Lucien’s thumb continued to toy with her entrance while he lapped softly at her clit.  

She said his name over and over, begging. He looked up at her from between her legs with a wink. She watched with surprise as he moved one hand down to his own body, the sound of the zipper of his pants ratcheting up her excitement once more. Instead of moving on top of her as she expected, she saw the telltale sign of his arm pumping as he stroked his own cock as he continued to lick her. He began to groan as he licked, his breath hot against her skin.  

“Let me touch you.” She gripped the upholstery of her couch, trying to hold herself back. She couldn’t even see him, and she wanted to watch, at least.  

He flicked at her clit. “Do you want to come or do you want to touch me?” 

“Both” Elain answered immediately. What kind of question was that? You’d think he didn’t know her at all. Which, she supposed, he didn’t.  

“Lay back and be a good girl, Elain. You’ll come when I’m ready.”  

Lucien made a big show of increasing his own movements of his cock, cursing to himself as he sucked on her clit sporadically. Elain must be drunk on her need for an orgasm, because she could have sworn Lucien was the sexiest man she’d ever seen. Just watching his face and listening to the noises he made as he touched himself was intensely erotic.  

“Fuck, Lucien.”  

“Yes, Elain?” He lifted his face from between her legs, turning his head to the side to eye her curiously. 

“You’re so hot.” was all she managed. Like a god damned idiot. 

Lucien rewarded her with a broad smile, kissing the side of her knee before leaning back down and sucking at her clit. His tongue continued to stroke at her as he sucked and Elain’s orgasm arrived at last, her whole-body rocking with pleasure, her back arching and contorting, like she’d never experienced. His large hand came to cover her mouth, containing the unearthly noises she was releasing.  

When her body began to relax, Lucien came over her, kissing her as he ran soothing strokes up and down her arm. Elain, embarrassingly, clung to him with her arms and legs. He hummed a soft sound as he continued to press his lips against her own in a series of soft kisses. At last, Elain began to relax and came to the disturbing realization that Lucien hadn’t come. She reached between them to fumble for his cock, ready and eager to take over the job he’d already started. Lucien gently grabbed her hands, interlacing their fingers before holding her hands out to the side.  

“Next time.” He kissed her again, this time his tongue danced inside her mouth, his movements certain.  

He wedged his body besides hers on the narrow couch, and she shifted to make room, all but laying on top of him as her head rested on his chest. Still, it felt nice, her body relaxed and content as she nestled into him. His arm wrapped around her, his hand toying in her hair. It all felt intense and intimate for a random hook up. Still, he’d said next time.  

She would unravel it in the morning, she decided. Instead, she let her mind lull into nothingness, her hands focusing on the warm feeling of Lucien’s skin and tender way he pressed his cheek against the top of her head as his breathing slowed. 

When Elain woke on the couch the next morning, her first thought was that her neck was broken. She’d twisted into an especially uncomfortable position, her head at an unnatural angle and her leg all but falling off the side of the couch. Next to her feet sat a very angry little cat, who seemed perturbed that she did not sleep in her assigned place and she did not feed him on time.  

It was only after Elain began to sit up and realized that, yes, she was naked, that she remembered why she had slept on the couch at all. Lucien had been there, and apparently, left. She tried not to wince at the sting of rejection. Of course he left, there were all but strangers. Just because he’d eaten her out didn’t mean he wanted to stay for breakfast.  

Elain tried to calm herself, fighting the simultaneous outrage and disappointment as she fumbled to the bedroom for a t-shirt to throw on before beginning her morning. She looked at the radio, taunting her. It was the weekend, Lucien wouldn't be on the air, still it felt like an insult.  

Would she ever be able to listen to the news again? Perhaps she’d just become willfully ignorant of the world around her so that she never had to think of the news or reporters again. Or worse, she’d watch one of those exhausting twenty-four-hour news channels that grated on her nerves.  

Elain walked over to the drying rack to grab a clean bowl for Suri’s food when she saw the dishes from her Chinese food last night, washed and in the sink. She opened the fridge, eyeing her boxes of food neatly lined in the fridge. Well, if he meant to let her down easy by doing her dishes, she supposed there could be worse ways. Perhaps he hoped that she wouldn’t tell Feyre about it. Not that she would, she’d never live it down with her sisters. As she walked over to start her morning coffee, she saw a note scribbled on the back of a piece of mail set atop it.  

Elain -   I’m sorry I had to leave early. I’ve got to get home and walk my dog and I didn’t want to wake you.   I need to see you again.  -Lucien 

Elain smiled as she turned on the coffee pot and turned on the radio, an old episode of Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me playing as she went about caring for her plants. Was Lucien the kind of person that knew the answers? He seemed like he would be. Lucien seemed like the sort of person that would know the answers to all the trivia questions and be entirely too smug about it. Nesta would either love him or throttle him. She couldn’t stop herself from smiling.  

***** 

Elain had never listened to the radio as avidly as she had the last few days. The thrill of a text from Lucien arriving mere moments after she stopped hearing his voice on air was something that wouldn’t get old. Was it normal to feel aroused while you listened to someone talk about air quality on the radio? Probably not. Still, Elain could have touched herself from listening to his voice alone. Every sound and clearing of his throat made her think of the way he moved his lips, how his tongue danced endlessly across her body. Whenever he took a particularly deep breath, she thought of the way he moaned into her as he stroked himself.  

Her life was a golden wash of Lucien, Lucien, Lucien.  

When Feyre texted her asking her to bring her coffee again at the studio, she all be leapt at the opportunity. Would it look desperate? She wasn’t sure she cared, as long as she got a glimpse of him from a distance, a sidelong glance where she could appreciate his tall form and the contours of his face.  

Everyone seemed too invested in her whereabouts and activities, and she all but pried herself away from Vassa, who asked her too many leading questions. Lucien must have let something slip, she supposed. Good friend though she might be, Vassa generally much preferred to talk about herself rather than hold an interrogation over Elain’s upcoming schedule.  

Feyre, too, seemed unnaturally happy to see her. She’d hardly heard from her at all in their group chat with Nesta the past few days. Feyre was busy with Rhys, swept up in her new relationship and ignoring the outside world entirely. Nesta never liked Feyre’s boyfriends and was already suspicious of Rhys, especially after she met his, apparently very annoying, friends.  

She brought the coffee to Feyre in her office, chatting with her about some black-tie event that Rhys planned to take her to, when she felt the recognizably warm presence of Lucien behind her.  

“None for me, hmm?” He said jokingly as she turned around.  

“You don’t drink coffee. You drink tea.” She said the last part with the appropriate emphasis of her disturbance at the idea. Who didn’t love coffee?  

“Don’t you have to finish your recording?” Feyre sniped at him from her place at her desk.  

Lucien smiled good naturedly, not taking his eyes off Elain. “Join me?”  

Elain didn’t know what she was agreeing to, would have said yes to anything, as she followed him through those gray carpeted hallways. They entered a small room with fabric paneled walls, with sound equipment set up along the sides as well as placed on a desk in the center of the room with two microphones.  

“Wow, this is neat. Is this where you usually record?”  

“For prerecorded stuff. There’s a bigger room for the morning when I have someone with me.” He grabbed her waist, pulling her gently towards him. “Now, I have a guest.”  

She craned her neck up to look at him as she stood closer. Lucien cupped her cheek, leaning in to kiss her, nibbling at her lip. Elain had all but forgotten where they were or what they were doing by the time he released her.  

Lucien turned, fiddling with the equipment and plugging things in as she watched in fascination. His face was casual, confident as he adjusted dials and made some kind of calculations she didn’t understand. He stepped back towards her and she watched as flipped on a switch on the wall labelled “recording”.  

“So no one bothers us. It turns on a light outside.” Elain nodded wordlessly as Lucien sat the chair in front of the microphone, taking a dramatic and pointed sip of his steaming cup of tea before flipping on the switch. Elain couldn’t help but smile and roll her eyes.   

Elain had heard Lucien’s voice many times by now, joking with his friends or the filthy words he murmured in her ear. This was different. Lucien’s voice was deep, smooth and authoritative as he recorded a segment on something she didn’t even bother to pay attention to.  

If he’d asked her for her opinion afterwards, she would have to admit her only opinion was on the way his mouth moved when he annunciated or the way his hands rested on his muscular thighs. What did a man on the radio need with muscles like those or a face like that? Whatever the reason, she was grateful that it benefited her, that she might get to experience if again if she played carefully. He’d said he wanted to see her again, hadn’t he? Hopefully he wouldn’t be too put off by her all but stalking him at work.  

By the time he was signing off, Elain’s thighs had grown slippery, her excitement palpable just at the sound of his voice. The whirring movements of the recording equipment could have just as easily been her, for how tightly wound she felt. When he leaned back in his chair to look towards her, Elain pounced. She strode over to him, standing between his spread legs to lick at his neck and wind her fingers through his long hair. Lucien didn’t miss a beat, his hands grasping at her ass as she nipped and licked at him, nothing but a smooth liquid glide against the satin material of her skirt.  

Lucien grasped at her chin, locking her eyes with his and taking control of her frantic exploration with her mouth. “Did you miss me, baby?”  

Elain nodded as he lifted up her skirt, trailing his fingers up and down her legs. Surely, he wouldn’t tease her again, here. They hardly had the time for it. It was the middle of the day and in other parts of the office people were filing paperwork and editing sound while Lucien dragged his hands up and down over her. When he arrived at the wetness gathering on her thighs, he hissed.  

“What's all this for? Did you like watching me?” Just like the night before, he gave her cunt a soft slap, the sound clear and crisp in the perfectly insulated room.  

Elain let out a sharp groan, arching up into his hand. He squeezed her waist before he turned her, tugging gently with her hair as be balled it into a fist. Every huff of his breath or the sound of her rubbing against him only drove her closer to losing her mind completely. She had no words for what she was feeling. She arched her back, letting her backside press up against the hardness she could feel. 

 She still hadn’t seen him or had the chance to touch him beyond the dry humping she’d engaged in on her couch. Holding her by her hair, Lucien pressed her forward, so that her chest was pushed against the desk. The knob of some piece of equipment or other pressed uncomfortably against her ribs, but she didn’t care. The pressure of the cold table against her sensitive nipples caused her to groan again, and she pinched at one absently through her clothes.  

Lucien lifted her skirt up over her hips, palming at the globes of her ass as he all but purred in appreciation. “Well?”  

He was asking her something, and Elain knew she would agree to anything he said right now. If he asked to fuck her live on air, she would have nodded her head just the same.  

The sound of a slap cut through the room as Lucien’s hand landed on her ass. Elain gasped her mouth open and drool dripping on to the table as he slapped again on the other cheek. She wasn’t sure she wanted to answer his question, wanted to see how long he would keep going like this. The pain was just enough to truly sting, though she knew if he kept going she would start to feel sore.  

One more hard slap left her rethinking her decisions and Elain craned her neck to look at him as she answered a simple “Yes.” 

“Yes, Daddy.” He demanded as he offered her another sharp slap to the other cheek. The recording light was still on, would warn anyone in the hall not to disturb them, and yet Elain’s cheeks flamed with embarrassment.  

He rubbed at her inflamed cheeks, which she could now see bore bright red handprints. “Yes, Daddy” 

“Good girl.” He leaned forward, his body over her as he kissed her deeply, his tongue moving languidly in her mouth. Elain whimpered as his mouth covered hers and she could hear the jingling sound of him unbuckling his belt. He pulled back to standing as she listened for the distinct sound of the ripping open of a foil package.  

Elain craned her neck to watch, taking in a full view of him naked in front of her for the first time. His cock bobbed in front of him, flushed a deep reddish purple from his arousal with swollen veins running up and down the length. It was long, the head of him reaching up to his navel, already wet and dripping down towards the thick base of him. Elain bit her lip, her mouth watering as she fought the urge to taste him.     

“Are you going to watch me fuck you?” Lucien asked as he lined himself up between her legs. Elain spread them wider, lifting her ass into the air in invitation.  

“Yes, Daddy.” Though she still felt a bit embarrassed, she spoke more confidently this time.  

Despite his tone, Lucien took his time pushing into her, allowing her to adjust to the stretch of him. He watched with open mouthed fascination, though he lifted his eyes to look at her and make sure she was comfortable. Elain couldn’t look away either, staring at the way the muscles in his abdomen tensed as he held control, moving slowly. At last, when he was pressed fully against her, he leaned forward, pressing his body on top of her own, avoiding the tangle of cords on the table as he paced his hands on either side of her. 

“Fuck, you feel so good Elain. You’re so tight on my cock.” He began to move in and out, the wet sounds of it the only thing she could hear.  

“Is that why you’re here, pretty girl? So, Daddy can fuck you?” Elain gulped down a yes as she panted out a rasping breath.  

“Next time, I need you to come on my face, too.” He began to pick up his pace hitting against her so sharply it almost hurt as his other hand pressed against her clit. She craved it, the sharp bite of each slap of his cock against her just enough to bring her close to the edge.  

“Be a good girl and come for me, Elain.”  

She did, her pleasure pounding and reverberating through her body as she shook. Lucien cursed and repeated incoherent praises in her ear about how wet and tight she was, what a good girl for coming when he told her to, as he lost his rhythm, his hips moving frantically as he came. Elain watched his face eagerly, pleased to see the feral snarl in his expression and the whimpering groan he made when he finished.  

He didn’t move as he kissed her softly, brushing his fingers through her hair before reluctantly withdrawing from her body. It felt wrong to suddenly be so empty, she found herself craving him again already. Lucien discreetly disposed of the condom before rushing back over to her, placing soft kisses along her cheek.  

“You’re beautiful.” Elain and answered with an affectionate touch of her own along his jaw. Gone was the feral man of a moment before, replaced by a softer Lucien, who drove a prius and left early in the morning to walk his dog. She rather liked both, she decided.  

Lucien let it a sudden sharp intake of breath, and Elain’s blood ran cold. If they’d been discovered, if someone walked in on her clearly fucking a man she just met in the middle of an office building, she’d never recover. She’d ask Nesta to take her out, a mercy killing. Instead, Lucien switched off the microphone in front of them.  

Elain gulped. “That’s not...” 

“Recording? Yes. I didn’t shut off the mic before we” he indicated to the space between them. Elain’s pussy clenched with arousal even as she stood, straightening out her dress and combing through her hair as if making herself presentable would make any difference. It’s radio for god’s sake.  

He must have seen her wide-eyed panic, because he squeezed her hand. “It’s not live. Thank god! Just recorded. I’ll take care of it, delete the recording and re-record my spot in a bit.”  

“Oh, okay.” It all happened too quickly. She wanted to go back to the way he’d been holding her tenderly, to the honeyed words dripping from his lips in the wake of his orgasm. Instead, he explained the logistics of how the audio was recorded, how he would most assuredly remove of all evidence.  

She trusted him, it was his job after all. It was one that would not be easily replaced, the city only had one public radio station. He looked a bit frantic, and Elain took that as her sign to leave, feeling suddenly awkward and a bit out of place.  

She reached up on the tips of her feet to place a kiss along his jaw, offering him a reassuring smile. “I’ll walk myself out.”  

Lucien pulled her in for a hug, his arms wrapping around her body. “I’m sorry about this. I’ll call you later, okay?”  

***** 

Elain calmed herself down with a trip to the garden center, wandering the aisles of newly sprouting plants and running her fingers through the damp top soil as she listened to Nesta on the phone, complaining about a coworker named Eris who apparently stole her reserved parking space. She didn’t need to say anything, just listen as she touched the leaves and breathed in the fresh air.  

She wandered home with a new plant for her windowsill, still feeling a bit out of her sorts. When she arrived at her apartment door, she found a bouquet of flowers sitting on her doormat, along with a simple brown paper bag. Elain took a moment, unlocking her door as she wandered inside to the chirping sounds of her cat.  

She leaned against her counter, flicking on the radio as she set down the flowers, her plant, and the mysterious bag with her name scrawled across it.  

She opened it to find a note from Lucien and a blank CD. Her face flushed immediately, understanding what it must be.  

Elain,  I’m sorry again for earlier. I’ve taken care of it, yours is the only evidence. You sound beautiful, by the way. You have a voice for radio.  Yours,   Lucien  

[josephquinnswhore]

Hi! I'm not sure if you're taking requests but i wanted to ask if you could write one with Pedro where they're dating but reader is not famous, she is actually a young artist that runs a small business on Instagram. And everyone is shocked that he's with her, but he is so proud of being her boyfriend and is VERY supportive of her both in private and in public. That's, thank you 😊💕

the actor and the artist - pedro pascal x artist! female reader

Summary: you’re hosting your first ever art show and the paparazzi make you wonder if you’re good enough.

Word Count: 1.4K

Content Warning: age gap relationship, insecure reader.

Note: I fking love this request @rosaliedepp *kisses your forehead* I hope you love it. 🫶🏼💜

You remember where you first started, selling your artwork on Etsy, your prices were so cheap they undermined the hours of hard work, pain, sweat and tears that went into them, still you only managed to sell 3 works in about 12 months, you were stumped. Feeling like you should just give up, like it was a lost cause and your art wasn’t really as good as you originally thought it was. Until it happened.

You thought it was a scam at first, these scammers were getting crafty these days and the Pedro Pascal, messaging you on Etsy wanting a custom piece? Come on, didn’t seem likely and you weren’t stupid. You remember asking him to DM you on Instagram, his offical page, giving the email your username on Insta and within minutes receiving a direct message from the Pedro Pascal’s offical Instagram page that at the time, had 2.4 million followers, the white tick surrounded by the blue circle was confirmation it was really him and not some bot, or scammer.

He had been generous in his compliments on your works, even suggested making a business Instagram account to gain more traction, within the hour of messaging he had placed an order and left a very generous tip, he had even followed you and kept in contact regularly upon the arrival of his artwork, you figured it was because he didn’t trust you after he had sent that much money.

It was the opposite of what you thought that kept him talking with you, he thought you were sweet, talented and had real potential and knew he could help you where you needed it; not lacking in talent but recognition. If people actually saw your artwork, people would buy them. And they did, once they saw that Pedro had uploaded an image of your artwork in his house, that he followed you, your page blew up overnight, and you had Pedro to thank for it.

Which leads you to the present, two years later and 12 months of you two officially being a couple, even though things were fairly ‘new’ for the two of you, people had suspected things had been going on for longer. People of course had said their two cents online and you opted to ignore it.

Here you were in the cold evening of New York City, in a gallery room that was cleared just for your artwork, which would be showcased then auctioned, you had heard some big names were invited, ones in which you were terrified to see, let alone meet.

“You doing okay sweetheart?” Pedro’s voice scared you, pulling you back to reality as the room was half filled with people, something you’d failed to notice in your dissociative state. You offer him a smile as he hands you a glass filled with champagne.

“A bit nervous, hoping this will help.” You take a sip, your red lipstick that matches your ruby red silk, spaghetti strap dress, smears on the rim of the glass, you clutch your purse as a last resort for stress relief, feeling the tension build as more people arrive.

“I’m shitting myself, what if they don’t sell, what if they don’t like it? What if they don’t like me?” Your rambling makes Pedro chuckle, he steps towards you, his matching burgundy suit presses against your dress clad skin. His free hand caresses your hand and your hair tickles his fingers as you lean into him.

“They’ll be stupid not to love you, or your artwork. You’ve got this sweetheart.” You look at the genuine look on his face and can’t help but fall in love all over again, this man was truly a blessing in your life.

“You’re right, I’m powerful and wonderful and a fucking great artist. To us baby.” You clink your glasses together before throwing your head back, swallowing the liquid for courage before walking to the stage that had a microphone and your most iconic artwork on the wall behind you.

You’re standing in front of dozens of well known celebrities, but the champagne gives you the courage to smile at them as they watch you with wondering eyes. “Thank you all so much for joint us this evening. It’s truly an honour to host this event and to have you all here. Just a reminder that 35% of all purchases goes to the highest sellers choice of charity.”

The group cheer as you welcome them, pleased by your selflessness to give away money to donate to charity, Pedro is standing by himself off to the left of the stage and you give him a sweet smile.

“I wouldn’t be here without my biggest supporter, he’s changed my life for the better. This is the biggest moment of my life and thank you all for joining me along on this journey. The auction begins in 15 minutes so please don’t go anywhere. Stay and enjoy as long as you like, have a wonderful evening everyone.”

The applause goes straight to your head, people clapping and cheering for you as you walk off the stage, meeting Pedro at his side and giving him a kiss on the cheek, he doesn’t mind that you leave a lip shaped lipstick stain on his skin.

The auction is intense, your latest piece was the biggest success, it was sold for $360,000. That to you, was insane, you had earned that much money on one artwork. The years of hardworking was finally coming to pay off, not to mention one charity of a buyers choice was going to have received a very hefty donation.

“I can’t fucking believe it, that was insane. Thank you so much for coming with me, I couldn’t have done it without you.” You muse as you’re locking up the store, Pedro blushes at your compliment. “You did this all yourself sweetheart, money can’t buy talent.”

You shiver as the cold air hits your bare shoulders, the skin forming goosebumps immediately, your teeth are chatting at the freezing temperatures, curing yourself for not bringing a jacket. Pedro takes off his suit jacket, leaving him in his long sleeve-white button up dress shirt as he wraps the jacket around you, the smell and warmth of him bring you back to reality. The warmth holds you in its grasp.

“You didn’t have to do that, thank you.” You look up at him, thankful for the kind gesture. “Of course I did sweetheart, let’s get you home.” The perfect moment between you was spoiled as you see and hear paparazzi come swarming and shouting in your direction, probably after seeing the event posted online.

“Hey Pedro Pascal! What’s it like dating someone not talented on your level? Is it because you want a normal life?” The man snaps pictures of you and Pedro together, holding hands and Pedro shielding you from the cameras as the flash is blinding you.

“She is more talented than me. She’s an incredible artist, not that I have to justify it. Please leave us alone we’re very tired.” Pedro takes your hand and you try to walk away to get to his car which was parked right outside of the gallery, was it a good idea, no. Was it convenient, yes.

“What’s it like dating someone significantly younger, do you think she’s dating you for the money?” Pedro opens your door and puts your seatbelt on for you, before shutting the door and turning to the men following him.

“She’s the most genuine person I’ve ever met, not that it’s any of your business. Goodnight.”

He turns and makes his way to the car, starting it and driving off away from the flashes that blinded his eyes only moments ago. He notices you’re quiet, too quiet.

“Are you okay?” He seemed to be asking that a lot lately.

“I don’t know. They’re just mean, I love you Pedro, I do. I just don’t know how you deal with that- it’s so invasive and just horrible the things they’re saying about me, about us.”

His hand rubs your bare knee as he drives, his eyes not leaving the road until he comes to a red light mere streets from your shared apartment, “don’t listen to a word they say. They’re just looking for a reaction. If you’re happy then we’re good. I know I’m the happiest I’ve ever been with you.”

“You always know the right things to say Pedro.”

“I gotta keep my girl happy, don’t I?” You can’t help but smile at the comment, he truly was a blessing.

[octuscle]

Im now at my late 30's wondering if i took the best choices... Seeing these beach hunks while im balding with a dad bod, i wish i could go back in time and be like them when i was in my early 20's

Do you remember when you were 19 and decided not to start an apprenticeship at the bank straight after graduating? Instead, you decided to travel the world for a while… That was almost 20 years ago. Today, you would probably be a great Instagram or TikTok influencer. Back then, you wrote a blog. A pretty unsuccessful one. But at least your parents always knew where you were. And every now and then you were invited to give a talk about your travels.

Your dad bod is getting flatter. Harder. You suddenly feel… Somehow much fitter…

You visited this amazing beach when you were 21. Where the waves were supposed to be the best. But you weren't even a surfer back then. And you were actually on your way home because you were running out of money and you had promised your parents that you would start university the next semester. Damn it. The first time a wave knocked you off your board and you swallowed a liter of seawater, it was all over for you.

Your hair gets fuller. And longer… With blonde streaks… Your skin takes on a healthy glow.

You had the beach stall with the surfboard rental for almost ten years. Sometimes it went well, sometimes it went badly. You never amassed any wealth. But you wrote two very successful books… And you never needed a lot of money. And when you had enough of the beach and of surfer dudes who spent more time with their cell phones than with their boards, you sold your place and went back home from one day to the next. You hadn't seen your parents for almost eight years.

Your apartment becomes a cheap hotel room. Your belongings fit into a large backpack. There might be one or two gray hairs in your beard. But otherwise you look ten years younger. Tattoos appear on your skin.

You've tried to start an online travel agency. For surfer trips. It was reasonably successful, your parents were proud of you. But you didn't have any fun. Discussions with banks and investors were a horror for you. When the first opportunity arose to start your own business, you jumped at it. The process took almost half a year. But now you're free again. Not a rich man, but a wealthy one. And free as a bird.

The sun feels good on your skin. You want to go back to the sea. You miss the noise of the roaring waves and the smell of salt on your skin. Everything you own is in your rucksack. Do you have your own car? What for? Someone will give you a lift. It usually doesn't take long. And if you're lucky, the driver will be just as hot as you are.

[fatallyaddictedtofiction]

If i was in charge of making Supernatural into a video game

Open-world single/multiplayer via invite but not online

Set in early seasons (1-5)

There's a case in every town you go to, and you can go into the area to "research" or "hunt", so you can either know what you're going into or not

Research is when you talk to the witnesses or look for clues, which you can compare to your hunter's journal

Hunt is when you use the weapons you've collected, bought or made deals to get to fight the monster in the area

1st and 3rd person pov available

You have a bar that goes down the more you make deals/interact with demons/other monsters which makes other hunters like you less (especially in Roadhouses)

You can collect teeth or other parts of monsters to trade with other hunters to get better weapons, or if you get money you can buy them. You can steal monster's weapons if they have them

Reference is made to the characters in the show but they don't actually appear, for example in a roadhouse you can hear, "Did you hear John Winchester's left his kids high and dry lookin' for that demon?"

There are also sleep bars that go down if you choose to research through the night and if that gets too low you're slow when it comes to the hunt

Some sort of bar that the more people you save the more respect you have with other hunters, because you shouldn't gain points for killing the monsters, so it pushes players to save first-turned werewolves and vampires

You can set up a base but if you dont ward it, windows often break, cheap ammunition is sometimes stolen etc

Demons & angels are the super powerful big bads. Angels are worse than demons because you cant exorcise them

It is possible to track Chuck down somehow, maybe he gives you some sort of reward

You can make NPC allies that will give you weapons, ammunition, tips or other bonuses before you go on a hunt

[nethercomfies]

Streamer Xiao headcanons

Content: Some general hcs, some stuff specific to a relationship with him (separated so you can just skip to whatever you like), gn!reader

General:

Started streaming kind of on a whim because he was bored one night, but then he actually enjoyed it so he kept going. Back then he had a super sucky microphone and the camera quality of a potato, but over time things improved and now his streams are pretty high quality

He's famous for playing nothing but horror games, particularly because he never gets scared and stays completely composed, no matter how bad the scares get. The whole "totally deadpan guy who stays calm no matter what" thing has kind of become his online persona over time

Because of this persona he prefer to stream alone because he feels like it wouldn't be a great match for collabs

His favourite game of all time is Omori, which is famously the one instance where he completely broke out of his usual unimpressed state and was going through it because the game got to him

Generally speaking, he's more into niche indie games than whatever horror game is currently "in", although he will give more conventional horror a chance as well

Overall he prefers games with a good admosphere over ones that are littered with cheap scares

Also doesn't shy away from games with darker topics. If he does play some heavier stuff, he always makes sure to treat it with all due respect and actually try to start a conversation about whatever the topic is because he thinks it's important

He doesn't really have a set schedule and just streams whenever he feels like it. Sometimes he starts in the middle of the night just because he found a cool game he wants to share right away

Because of this he usually doesn't have a massive audience because people didn't know he was streaming beforehand, but he prefers it that way. He likes the more chill atmosphere caused by just a couple of people watching him play rather than having to entertain a huge amount of people

He usually gets straight to gaming and doesn't do a lot of casual chatting before or after the game. Just every once in a while he might show off his pet birds on stream, particularly when he (or you) recently taught them some new cool trick

In a relationship:

He's always been very open about him being in a relationship and frequently mentions you in offhanded comments

He actually let you design his stream alerts, stickers, etc. (Bonus points if you picked something super cute because it's like... Xiao playing a dark, scary horror game while a chibi catboy version of him is dancing in the corner announcing the latest subscriber)

You'd never guess so based off his online persona, but he's actually really soft and affectionate with you in private. He adores you and always makes sure to remind you of that.

Even if he has a stream planned, he'll drop that in an instant for you, no matter if it's because you had a bad day or just because you really want to spend time with him

But also, he'll sometimes invite you to just sit with him while he streams, which is usually very cute to watch with you freaking out and clining to him while Xiao is just cliff-faced as usual

That being said, he'll break out of that persona if he notices that you're getting too scared. Then he'll usually take a break and make sure to check in on you, see if you're doing okay or if you want to stop and hold you close to comfort you

If you're not sitting next to him while he streams, you always make sure to be in the audience. It's become a fun little game to you to try and get him to break character by subtly teasing him or flirting with him in chat. You're usually pretty succesful at getting him to crack a smile or at least blush a little (But he doesn't mind. He knows you think it's cute and he cares about you being happy more than keeping up some online persona)

Liked this au? You can find more of it here

[deancaspinefest]

Significant severe

Author: Tossukka | Artist: girlinthemirrorbluenight

Posting on Monday March 25

A TV meteorologist Castiel Novak believes storm chasers who livestream their adventures online must only be looking for adrenaline rushes from dangerous situations. When an attractive storm chaser Dean Winchester and Castiel meet at their shared alma mater’s alumni event, they end up arguing over the issue. To show Castiel the realities of his work, Dean invites Castiel to join him on a chase for a few weeks. Castiel is intrigued, and unexpectedly, his employer agrees to let him count it as field work. After their disastrous first meeting, Castiel expects to share a civil but distant working relationship with Dean. And yet, in the volatile atmosphere of the tornado season, both the storms and Castiel’s attraction to Dean grow more intense day by day.

Keep reading for a sneak preview!

“Now, now, storm chasers are an important part of the weather industry. You know that as well as I do, Castiel,” a man said speaking in a British accent. “Personally I just don’t think the people who voluntarily drive themselves in the middle of what is often hell on Earth can be in their right minds. They end up blocking the roads and making an already dangerous situation even more so,” the one who had been called Castiel said. Dean frowned. “But they do good too. Collect data, confirm warnings, save lives.” “I’m only saying I believe they must have some self-destructive tendencies, that is all.” Dean couldn’t listen more without interrupting. “Excuse me?” he said and pushed his way to the two men. “Sorry for pushing my nose where it doesn’t belong, but I couldn’t help overhearing the discussion.” The dark-haired man’s bright blue eyes widened a little as he saw Dean. There was a hint of recognition in them, and Dean suspected the man already knew who he was. “Heh, my name is Dean Winchester. Well, I work as a storm chaser among other things. Your discussion sounded interesting,” Dean introduced himself. “Oh-ho! There we go, Cassie. You can talk to a professional about your suspicions,” the British guy said. “Call me Balthazar, Dean. Nice to meet you.” Even in the middle of his annoyance, Dean couldn’t help noticing Castiel was just his type. Except that he was clearly an asshole. Well no, that also had been very much Dean’s type over the years. Shit. “So Cas, you think I like risking my life for cheap thrills then?” Dean asked, not bothering to beat around the bush. Castiel frowned. “Don’t you?” “Oh dude, it’s so much more than that. I can admit there’s an element of thrill being so close to the greatest forces of nature, but just so you know, storm chasers take a lot of cautionary measures to keep themselves safe during chasing,” Dean said. “It’s not just aimlessly driving around like maniacs and blocking roads from other citizens. There’s a lot of science connected to it, and a bit of experience needed to keep yourself and others out of trouble.” “I don’t doubt that, Dean,” Castiel said. “I’m sure you are very good at what you do. But you are putting yourself needlessly in danger.” “I’m not,” Dean said. “Listen, have you ever been storm chasing?” “No.” “Okay then,” Dean said. “How about this? Do you want to join me for the peak of the Southern Plains tornado season? Let’s say May? Two weeks, full month, whatever works for you. Get a taste of the cheap thrills.” “I…” Cas hesitated. “I don’t think I can take that much time off work.” “I’ll give you some time to consider,” Dean said and pulled out his business card. Charlie had designed them, and they had a little drawn picture of his beloved Impala driving towards a looming comic book version of a tornado next to his name. “Call me if you want to try it.”

(continue reading on Ao3 on Monday March 25)