#one-sided imodna

[maluspumilaa]

oh lgbtq community weve got a big storm coming

au tag

[uiuishii]

This is what I love about dnd. All is just natural, the characters and their relationships have the time to evolve through the story. I love Imodna being best friends to lovers ! Instead of """"""best friends"""""""" *sapphic wink* to lovers. Because these things happen.

[queerpuff]

The thing I love the most about the imogen x laudna relationship is the huge amounts of potential it has. It can really go any way and I genuinely look forward to seeing which way Laura and Marisha take it and I'll be happy either way.

On one hand, it could be queer-platonic / soulmates. A fantastic representation of two women who were shunned and ostracised for their differences, and found solace in each other's company. Life companions who love each other without remorse and provide each other with the love and reassurance they never received.

There's the potential of heart-breaking one-sided romance. I do believe Imogen has romantic feelings for Laudna on some level (let me have this ok), whereas there's not *much* pointing towards the opposite. It's clear Laudna loves Imogen a lot, but it's it seems more platonic and almost familial in some way. I can already anticipate the heartbreak - Imogen confessing her feelings, finally, after months of bottling it up - to find out that Laudna simply doesn't see her that way. It would be quite interesting to see that portrayed.

Finally, it could be mutually romantic, and it could blossom into a beautiful story of soulmates who realise they're in love with each other. The love they share is so tender and intimate, so personal and so vulnerable, that the lines are already blurred. They realise at their own time and finally confess after a while of bottling it up, scared of losing their friendship, but once they do it feels like home and it's beautiful.

[paperglader]

I don’t remember what my twitch account is and I want to watch 4sd??🧐

[pocketgalaxies]

"if it takes away all of our magic, anything gifted to us from something greater..." imogen. imogen. imogen

[shorthaltsjester]

imodna to me is c3 widojest (i am not a fan of widojest)

[biorust-art]

One day, Imogen washes ashore. Without her memories, she uses a gifted boat and fishes for a living, but what she really wants to do is find the missing puzzle pieces. They're out there, somewhere... Far below the waves where shadows hide sharp teeth, and the fish hum a lullaby in unison. Where the bioluminescence looks like stars and, bones disappear in the silt. What is she missing... who is she missing. And why are her dreams all in red...

Dredging Far Below <- link Is a Dredge AU Imodna fic I've been working on for the past few months. Dredge is a horror/atmospheric fishing game that I highly recommend and ever since playing it and talking with @sweetsilentsteps about it, I've had this story in my head.

Warning, this is a horror fic. It will end in tragedy. But how? What happens to Imogen? What in the deep woke up when she did? What is she missing? Well... you'll have to find out.

But for the love of everyone and everything. Throw it back.

[Image Description: A digital drawing of Imogen from Critical Role. This is a promotional poster-like drawing for a fanfiction called 'Dredging Far Below.' The title is in the game font at the bottom of the drawing and the white letters are edged in red and blue, once again like the game, but shifts to green and purple towards the right side. Imogen stands in the center, leaning against the bow railing, in a pose referenced from Jaws. Her upper half leans to the left with the rolling waves and her hands are resting on a rifle. She is wearing a white shirt, like blue pants, a dark blue overcoat, tall leather boots and her classic yellow necktie. The wind picks up her hair and tosses it to the side, along with her coat. She looks on with a dead expression, her face half in shadow and determined. There is a red glint in her eye and blood on her cheek and white shirt. Behind her are rocks basking in the sunlight and a dark, windy sea. The sky is blue and the while clouds form circles that surround Ruidus, the red moon, in something that looks like a hurricane, or an eye. The moon, and the wispy clouds, are duel rimmed in green and purple. The second image is a closer version of the first, focusing on Imogen's face and the red moon next to her. End ID]

[colealexart]

story time! i met the cr cast this past weekend at mcm london and they were the kindest people imaginable, but my interaction with laura and marisha was just. incomprehensibly sweet and the best thing to ever happen to me.

first up was laura. my friends izzy (@wvearp) and abby (@overnighttosunflowers) went before me in the queue and they got my art signed by her. when they did, she said “oh, best art” and they told her that they were here with the artist. she immediately was like “what?! where?!” and started looking around frantically. i was standing just to the side and i waved awkwardly and she was like “NO WAY! YOU!! i favourite this shit on twitter ALL THE TIME!” which i find hilarious because yeah, i freak out a little every time she does.

when it got to my turn, i said hello and asked her how she was doing. she did not answer my question and instead said “cole, are you kidding me? these are gorgeous” about the two prints i handed to her. (the one pictured and a different one i got signed.) she said she remembers seeing this after the episode aired and i was like “yeah, it airs at 3am here so i drew this in a frantic, sleep deprived stupor at 7am” and she said “you did it so fast, i remember! i sent it to marisha! people are SO QUICK with the fanart, you guys are insane.”

after she signed the print, she held onto it for a moment and just sat and admired it, before looking at me with the BIGGEST smile and saying “you are seriously the best. thank you.” and i don’t know how to handle sincerity so i handed her the dice i got for her. she was so excited about them and immediately rolled the d20 and got a 10 (edit: i misremembered, she got a 3 lol). i then asked if we could play rollies and she beat me. i got a 5 and laura got a 7. i said i’m sorry they’re not rolling well and she was like “it’s fine, they just need charging up!”

i also got a selfie too, but the guy helping her at the table took the photo for us instead of me trying to take it because i suck at taking selfies. she gave me a really tight side hug and when it was done, she thanked me again with the biggest smile.

i also didnt realize until afterwards but instead of writing a character quote, laura wrote “you are everything” on my autograph 😭

next was the group photo op. as we walked up i said hi again to laura and she immediately recognized me from before. she grabbed onto my shoulders and literally spun me around to marisha and was frantically saying “marisha marisha, this is the person that does the amazing imodna art!” but there was a lot going on and marisha was looking at me with the most bewildered expression, until she eventually understood what laura was saying but we had to rush to take the photo. laura held onto my arm and marisha leaned against me and i didn’t realize until afterwards but liam and tal also had their hands on my shoulders lol. it was A Lot. i told marisha i would probably be heading to her autograph queue next so i’d see her there and she was like “awesome, i cant wait!”

so after that, i met marisha. i was probably the most nervous to meet her because she’s just so cool and intimidating but in reality she is just so warm and has such a calming presence about her. she was like “cole, good to see you again!” and i handed her the same imodna print that i had laura sign. she said “ohh, aww this is amazing! this is what laura was talking about, i was so confused!”

then we talked a bit about the live show because her voice was hoarse and i asked her how she was feeling. she said it was just her voice that was gone, but we agreed that it was absolutely worth it because the live show was incredible. i also congratulated her on the how do you wanna do this, then gave her the dice i got for her and we played rollies too. we both got an 18 at first and when we rerolled, she beat me with another 18 to my 16. then she was like “oh these roll really well, i’m definitely gonna use these!”

we took our photo together and afterwards she said “thank you for your art and everything. seriously, you’re so talented” while rubbing my shoulder, and then i headed off to join ashley’s queue.

i’m probably gonna make a separate post about meeting ashley and sam. i just wanted to write this down mostly to immortalize on my blog. i expected them to be kind but i did NOT expect to feel so loved and appreciated. laura was about as excited as i was, and made me feel so special. (this is also a pretty small thing but i dont think i pass very well, so the fact that laura said ‘person’ and didn’t misgender me meant a hell of a lot too.)

i did bring extra prints to give to them as a gift but was overwhelmed and forgot lol

anyway, that’s it! for anyone wondering if the critical role cast are as kind in person as they seem online, they absolutely are and then some. i’ll never forget this past week.

[enbyandearthworm]

One of my favourite things about critical role at the moment (and there's a whole bunch) is that all of my ships are canon/semi-canon. And I know that sounds shallow but hear me out. Like right now I'm shipping Imodna, Dorym and Callowmoore and they've all had at least one side confess feelings.

I don't think people who aren't regularly in fandom spaces understand just how much it means for all of the characters you're shipping to even just openly confess feelings for each other. Especially when that ship is queer. It just doesn't happen. But it does with critical role and that makes me so happy. It's such a weird feeling after being in so many fandoms where you're working off of like 2 canon conversations or 10 years of queer-baiting or whatever, to have ships that are just open and out there. It's actually amazing

[cringefaecompilation]

No but really the Imodna criticism has only made me double down harder. You mean to tell me I lived through 2000s tv that inevitably and reliably buried gay relationships as soon as they were established, so much so that there is now an entire ‘bury your gays’ trope in modern media… only for streaming services to dominate serialized shows and force them into condensed and truncated seasons that air once every two or three YEARS… to then have Critical Role.. with over 1000 hours of its campaigns over a decade… to dedicate enough time to a friendship between two women that actually and organically developed into romantic feelings.. only for people to complain that its codependent or forced or one-sided? Like. Have we grown too online to appreciate how fucking miraculous the sapphic ships CR has given the community actually are?

you know it's a good lesbian ship when straight people or otherwise not lesbians are accusing you of hating platonic female friendship or claiming it's basically incest to ship them

[jadequarze]

https://www.tumblr.com/jadequarze/737009839986933760/a-bunch-of-fun-stuff

I need the individual images of all the imodna ones please 🙏

(These were taken from my side twitter, I'm currently away from my computer. So I don't have access to the chibis)

[unicyclehippo]

ooo maybe perhaps imodna “28. …as a lie.”? love love love your writing style. no worries if this isn’t the vibe! I’m sure anything you write will be phenomenal

‘do you know what your problem is?’ delilah says oh so casually. laudna is busy folding the laundry (lalala!) and her hands keep moving and smoothing each shirt and sock and her magic drips over holes in imogen’s socks and her head turns so she is looking right at imogen with a perfect replica of her smile, over-wide, borderline painful, like all the love in her hurts a little getting out (because? because she has too much of it? because if it doesn’t hurt it’s not love?) but there’s a glint in the gem at her throat and a glint in laudna’s pretty eyes and it could be sunlight but it’s not.

‘you,’ imogen says, like she’s bored. would she buy that, though? can delilah tell how electric she’s gotten? she definitely can. laudna’s eyes go wide and hungry and hot, dragging down imogen’s arms; it feels wrong, like when she was young again and couldn’t get men’s thoughts out of her head (damn the things i’d do to that girl).

‘don’t be nasty,’ delilah laughs, throaty. ‘i’m giving you advice. you should be thanking me.’

‘i’ll thank you to get the fuck out of laudna’s head.’

delilah pulls laudna away from the laundry long enough to wave a dismissive hand. ‘nonsense. she wants me here.’

it sounds true, is the problem. but she’s a liar. imogen shouldn’t be talking to her. it’s early and she wants to be asleep in bed but laudna wanted to wash their clothes properly, the magic didn’t clean things right, it had to be done properly and now she’s folded their small clothes into a bag and delilah is smiling at her like she belongs, like laudna’s just a dress to slip on slip into. and laudna wants her there. does she?

‘your problem, imogen—may i call you that? your problem is a lack of planning. ambition, too. you’re very powerful but what good is power without direction?’ delilah lingers on her scars. the red glow at her fingertips. she licks her lips, or laudna does (lalala).

‘shut up.’

‘you won’t get what you want by hoping. and certainly not by praying these days. why don’t you—‘ she walks laudna’s fingers across the tabletop, across the back of imogen’s hand. vile woman. ‘put all that power to good use? what are you afraid of?’

a city block levelled with a scream. the world gone hot and white, burning away. everyone’s minds open before her like toy chests for her to paw through.

‘are you done?’

delilah sighs. when she speaks again, she’s lost the purr; she sounds more like herself, more like laudna has recently. matter-of-fact. brittle sharp. ‘i’m trying to help you, girl.’

imogen wants to kill her again. laudna’s face doesn’t look like her face anymore; it looks like skull, muscles, skin. eyes. ‘i. don’t. want. your. help.’

‘you’ve scared yourself into standing still. can’t go forward, too afraid of the power. can’t go back because you won’t give up what you’ve gained,’ delilah laughs. ‘you may hate me, dear, but you must know that you’re just like me?’ her hand touches imogen’s cheek, thumb wandering laudna’s favourite line over her cheek, freckle to freckle. it feels like laudna, which is to say, imogen has lost again. ‘she’ll do anything for you. she’s such a sweet girl. and so much more willing to comply now that she has something to lose.’

‘you’re sick.’

delilah tilts her head. a maybe, a yes, a what does that make you? a which one of us hasn’t pulled away?

‘you should ask her what happened to the willmaster,’ delilah suggests. ‘what she did alone in that little hole you all carry when no one was watching. when you do, ask yourself,’ delilah sighs against her cheek, so sweetly, laudna’s breath morning mint fresh. ‘what else is she hiding from you? what else has she given me?’

delilah touches the side of her neck and then—then she’s gone and laudna says ‘oh’ and ‘imogen?’ and ‘i think i…might have lost a moment there, darling,’ and ‘are you alright?’

imogen leans into the hand on her cheek, the thumb that jumps from freckle to freckle. she curls a lightning-warmed hand around the back of laudna’s neck and kisses her, very gently.

‘yeah, honey. all good. you done with the laundry?’

[quietblueriver]

A little Imodna fic re: Imogen’s trip through Ruidus and Laudna’s reaction to it. Angst and fluff and comfort bc they deserve it.

When the dream is over, Imogen has feelings about her trip through Ruidus, about what she wants and whether she’s wanted.

After the others leave, she and Laudna get some time to talk about it.

-

It’s quiet in their room.

Imogen’s curled toward the edge of the mattress, knees tucked up just slightly, the thick comforter keeping her almost too warm. Normally, she’d turn to Laudna, press close so that the cool of her body balanced out the heat of their bed. Tonight, she doesn’t.

She knows Laudna is awake, can hear the push and pull of thread through her latest project, feels the light touch of fingers on her shoulder every few minutes, gentle enough that they wouldn’t wake Imogen if she were sleeping. She’s not sure if Laudna thinks she is sleeping or if she’s letting Imogen pretend. Which is another way of saying Laudna’s either not paying enough attention to notice that Imogen is awake and caught in her thoughts or she doesn’t feel the need to check in. Either way, and despite herself, Imogen feels it like a slight.

A feeling that causes the weight of shame and an ever-lurking sense of failure to rise up and make the heat almost unbearable. She worms a foot out as quietly as she can, ears hyper-aware of the rustle of fabric she can’t stop.

Laudna’s sewing continues uninterrupted. Imogen’s chest grows somehow more full with her feelings and all the words she’s biting back.

Even now.

Even after their trials with Nana Morri, after all that angsting over honesty and communication and trust, Imogen is quiet.

There are options. She’d known that before they’d been thrown into a pit and attacked by murder wasps and tricked into doubt. There have always been options.

She could turn over. She could reach out her hand and grasp Laudna’s wrist and let Laudna see her eyes. She could ask Laudna to talk to her, could tell her about the thoughts circling and circling through her mind, the ones that have been there since that night in the basement with Delilah.

She doesn’t. She’s tired. And she feels, if she’s honest with herself (and maybe that was the exercise they all needed first, because Imogen’s fairly certain she’s not the only one of the Hells who has difficulty living in her own truths sometimes), like she has been the one bridging the gap, or trying to, without any indication that it’s welcome. Like her honesty and vulnerability have recently been met with hesitancy and hedging and eyes toward a future very different from the one that Imogen had thought they both wanted.

The doubt, an old friend, had begun growing louder in that basement with Delilah and had reached its peak tonight.

The question about giving in to Ruidus was genuine. They’d talked about it before and put it to the side, but now that they’re closer, now that they’re getting ready to really go and do this, it felt important to raise again. She wanted their opinions, because they’d just watched what happened if one of them decided to make a choice like that in isolation, and it wasn’t good.

She wanted to know what they thought, wanted to be as smart about it as she could be.

If you’d asked her, though, even the moment before the question left her lips, whether Laudna needed to be there for that conversation, she would have said no.

Because she knew Laudna’s answer. She saw Laudna’s face furrowing in reaction to her offering her soul on the Crimson Abyss, heard Laudna’s violent threats of protection on her behalf, felt the cold of her form of dread spread and snarling over her as they fought. She knew Laudna’s answer, and it was, “No.”

This was a given, because she loved Imogen more than she loved anything, and because even if Imogen wasn’t trying to be unnecessarily self-sacrificial, there was no denying that giving in could be dangerous.

Except it hadn’t been no. It hadn’t been no, and then, when she’d come back to herself, come back to the cold, exhausting world after feeling so warm, so whole in the heart of Ruidus, and told them just a sliver of it, it still hadn’t been no.

It had been, “If it’s what you want.” It had been, “I don’t want to hold you back.”

And Imogen knows that Laudna loves her. She knows, because Laudna shows her, has shown her, every day.

But the deep and sharpening doubt inside of her says confidently that the love they have for each other isn’t the same.

Imogen wants Laudna. She wants her in every way. There is no future for her, hasn’t been for a long time, that doesn’t have Laudna at its center.

There is nothing she wants more than a cottage with a horse or two and garden beds for Laudna, a porch with a little table where she can start her day with the sunrise while Laudna sleeps and they can end their days with the sunset together, a kitchen like Zhudanna’s, with a stove that works and favorite mugs and a window that looks out at the forest. A home that is warm and easy and theirs.

There is nothing she wants more than to be there, with Laudna. To kiss her good morning and good night and anytime in between. To love her for as long as she’s alive.

And yes, Imogen knows that Laudna loves her.

Long before she kissed her in that marketplace in Jrusar, Imogen knew that Laudna loved her in a way that nobody else ever had. A love so deep and steadfast and self-sacrificial that it made Imogen scared to express the nature of her own feelings because she was afraid Laudna would force herself into something she didn’t want just to make Imogen happy.

Without the circlet, she’d been able to hear the flow of Laudna’s thoughts, often, and understandably, preoccupied with the immediate dangers of their lives after joining the Hells. It felt selfish, in light of that, to ask for more, to put one more thing on her.

And she’d been afraid to say anything without certainty, without some kind of hint from Laudna that she wasn’t going to hurt Laudna and herself and everything they’d built together.

She’d gotten close, before the Solstice. The future they were imagining, the roles they played for each other, Laudna’s own words about Imogen and what she wanted—it closed the gap a little. Made it easier for Imogen to think that maybe, one day, she’d know they were in the same place. That it would be safe to tell Laudna that her love had at some point spilled over its neatly drawn box and had only kept spilling, running over the lines between friendship and devotion and desire until it was all one big pool.

The circlet might’ve made it harder. After all, it was the opposite of confirmation. But the split, her time in Uthodurn, it only made Imogen’s need, selfish as it was, stronger, and when she didn’t have the discouragement of what she thought was knowledge, didn’t have access enough to know that her own want, so fierce sometimes she could hardly think of anything else, was unmatched, she couldn’t keep telling herself the same story about waiting. Fear lost to love (to greed, to desire, to impulse) and suddenly she was kissing Laudna next to the bread stall.

And Laudna was kissing her back. And Laudna was touching her and telling her, softly and with the purpled blush that made Imogen warm and light with affection, that she loved her.

Imogen believed her. She had no reason to doubt her.

Except, of course, for the circlet. Except for the niggling, shameful, persistent voice that reminded her that she could be sure, if she just took off the circlet. That she could be sure, if she let herself explore. That it would save both of them pain if she took even just a minute to be certain that they were on the same page, that Laudna wasn’t just doing her another thing to try to make Imogen happy.

She’d never pry. But without the circlet, she could maybe just stumble into the truth. Fall on it the way she fell onto so many thoughts in the world.

It’s the ugliest part of her. The part of her that believed for most of her life that she knew people because she knew their thoughts, that she didn’t need to listen or to watch who someone was in the world because she could see the real them, the true them.

She knows better now. She knows that people can, and do, fight against their impulses and desires and the darkest voices in their minds. That people work to be more, and better, than their base thoughts.

The problem is, though, that sometimes they don’t. Sometimes people let their impulses lead them and they keep their mouths closed and their hands busy and suddenly you’re watching your friend explode into a million pieces, putting themself and everybody else you love at risk.

She would’ve known, if she’d taken off the circlet. She would’ve seen the plans and heard the reasons and she could’ve done something.

And yeah, it’s about trust. Of course it is. But it’s also about reality, and the reality is that people find it hard to talk about things, especially hard things, and with the Hells, that has the potential to be catastrophic. Has been catastrophic.

It’s easy, to let that logic lead her. She needs to take it off. For protection. For the people she loves.

But if she’s honest with herself, if she fights to be honest with herself if no one else, there are other, more selfish reasons why she sometimes wants the circlet gone.

The biggest one is lying right beside her, humming softly to herself as she works through “the difficult bit. Do you think green or orange, dearest, for the tail?” A question asked before Delilah’s appearance, Laudna’s eyes excited as she held out the options and Imogen kissing her in favor of an answer.

Imogen loves Laudna far too much to leave the worst parts of herself an opening, so the circlet had gone back on as soon as it had been just the two of them. Temptation removed. Laudna had watched but asked no questions and Imogen had offered no explanation and now she’s stuck here in this too-hot bed with her own rambling and pathetic thoughts, lonelier than she has been in a long, long time and looking for a reason not to run as fast as she can back toward the warmth and comfort of that place in her dreams.

Part of her understands. She’d sat, broken-hearted and trembling, on a floor in godsforsaken Whitestone and told Laudna that she loved her and that it was her choice, whether to come back. It was her decision, and Imogen would never ever try to take that from her, even as every part of her wanted to beg and plead and crack open in supplication.

Imogen had refused to be yet another person who denied Laudna a choice. If loving her had meant letting her go, then she would have done it, no matter the cost to herself.

So she understands, a little. If Laudna thinks that what she wants is to leave, to…join with? Return to? Whatever, with Ruidus, and she thinks she’s the reason Imogen is denying herself, then sure, Imogen can understand some of it.

But Imogen’s hopes for the future aren’t mysterious. Even before their kiss, she was clear with Laudna that what she wanted was her. She’d said it over and over again. She’d offered those dreams willingly, in defiance of every part of herself that told her it was foolish and dangerous and pitiful, that reminded her that building a future with someone else was a surefire way to end up like her daddy, lonely and bitter.

Her love won out, and, in the biggest gift of Imogen’s life, Laudna understood. Laudna wanted the same things.

Except maybe she didn’t.

She kicks her second foot out from under the covers, less concerned with the noise, and Laudna stops her motion for a moment, reaches a hand out to touch Imogen’s shoulder.

“Imogen?”

It isn’t really a choice, in the end. Laudna has called her, so she will answer.

“Hmm?”

“Are you…”

The bed shifts, sounds of Laudna putting away her things and moving until her body is against Imogen’s, the hand on her shoulder drifting down to rest on her waist. The cool press of her is such a familiar relief that Imogen almost cries.

“Are you alright?”

Yes. No. Of course not. She feels weak as the water gathers in the corner of her eyes and she bites back her instinct to snap. Anger is first, almost always, and tonight is no exception.

Love surges quickly and she lets it win, feels it temper in the form of an exhalation and the moment she needs to settle herself. Laudna’s trying. Imogen wants her to know, and this is the only way she can.

The metal of the circlet presses into her temple as she gives her body what it wants and shifts back, closer, holds Laudna’s arm to her with her own.

“Do you…do you really not…”

She clears her throat, embarrassed at the sadness and exhaustion that fill the gap left by her receding anger. She’s so tired, and she hates that they’re having this conversation. That they have to have it. That she can’t say what she wants. What she needs.

The question about Ruidus wasn’t a test. This one wouldn’t be either, but it also won’t get her what she needs.

She tries again. Starts with what she knows.

“I…I want you to want me here. With you.” Laudna’s grip around her tightens but she doesn’t say anything, and Imogen takes a second. She sighs out, forces tension from her shoulders and the pride from her throat, open and open and open for Laudna. Trust and honesty and communication. Gods, it’s fucking awful. She presses forward anyway. “It hurt me. B-badly, I think. When you seemed so ready to let me go to Ruidus.”

Nails, now, present but not painful through the fabric of her nightshirt and against her belly, and Laudna’s body tense against her back, and still she’s quiet. Imogen laces their fingers and brings their joined hands underneath her shirt, pressing Laudna’s palm to her skin and shivering as she gathers her words.

“I was tellin’ the truth, earlier. It felt good, bein’ there. But Laudna, I…” She squeezes at her hand and then lets go, pulls and pushes and turns until they’re face to face and she can put her palm against Laudna’s cheek, see the worry in her dark eyes. “I don’t know how else to make you understand that I want you. That I want my future to be you.”

Laudna’s mouth opens and closes and Imogen presses a thumb to her bottom lip and kisses her forehead.

“Sometimes I think I understand the way you feel about me. But the last few days especially, I…” She stumbles again, because they’ve already talked about that night, and she doesn’t want to do it again, although she will if she has to. “I just…” She closes her eyes for a moment and reaches past the sadness and into the fire, lets the slow and steady and bright flame of love and determination and want move her forward. “It doesn’t matter how Ruidus feels. Alright? What’s the moon to me if you’re not there?” She kisses her, hard and quick, and holds her eyes again. “It’s not home. It can’t be. Not without you.”

Laudna swallows and licks her lip and says, slowly, “I want you to have all the things I didn’t get to have.” The pad of her thumb runs underneath Imogen’s eye, turning until the nail is tracing her cheek and down her jawline, over her chin until it comes to rest in the center of her throat. She stares at it as she whispers, voice raspy with the strain of a rope long rotted, “Most of all, I want you to have choice.”

Imogen covers the hand with her own and brings it down, cradling it against her chest.

“I know. I know you do. And I do have choice.” She kisses her again, longer and slower. “I’m choosing you. If you’ll let me.”

She watches the emotions play themselves out on Laudna’s face, expressive eyes widening and crinkling, the corners of her mouth twitching with all the words she doesn’t say, preternaturally sharp teeth tearing at the skin of her lip.

“I can never quite believe that.”

Her lips taste of ichor even more than usual, the texture catching on Imogen’s tongue as she soothes the newly broken skin.

“I know. I know you can’t. But it’s true.” She bites her own lip and asks a question she hopes she knows the answer to. “Is it alright? That I choose you? Would you…would you choose me, too?”

Dark eyes soften and soften, a pair to the arm holding her close.

“Imogen. I chose you a long time ago. I’m so sorry, darling, that I’ve made you doubt that.” She runs her fingers through Imogen’s hair, lets them catch at the back of her head. “It’s beyond my understanding how lucky I am that you would choose me, too.”

It would be easy, to let it go. And maybe she could. Maybe they understand each other, this time. But they’re here, and she wants it to be the last time they have to be (at least for a while, gods help her) so she pulls on the last reserves of her emotional energy to say, “Can you…can you believe me? Please? Or…or maybe we can have a signal, for when you can’t? Because Laudna, I…it’s hard for me to understand that you want me, too. And when you…I can’t always convince myself it’s true, when it feels like you’re tellin’ me to choose somethin’ else.”

Imogen watches as Laudna’s eyes move almost absently over her shoulder before coming back, resolved, as the hand in her hair tightens. “Yes. I’m going to try to remember. This is…thank you, dearest. For telling me. I’m going to think about this more. We can…we should talk about it, again.”

Her displeasure at the thought must register on her face because suddenly Laudna is laughing and the hand in her hair has let go to come pat at her cheek as Laudna tuts. “It’s dreadful, isn’t it?”

Imogen groans and buries her head in the crook of Laudna’s neck. Fingers return to her hair as she nods her agreement. She feels a tug on the circlet.

“Thank you for this, as well.”

Suddenly she’s pulling back, because this is important, because Laudna should know that…

”Laudna, I promise I’d never…”

She’s being tucked back into Laudna’s body before she can finish, lips against her temple before words are whispered into her ear. “I know, my love. I know. But you could, and it means something that you don’t. So thank you.”

She relaxes into the hold, noses into the space behind Laudna’s jaw and breathes for a minute before she kisses the skin there. And again.

Maybe it shouldn’t be as easy as it is for her mind to wander away from Ruidus and their mission and the conversation they’d just had. But maybe they deserve it. Maybe this is what it means, to choose each other even at the end of the world—that joy and desire get their time between exhaustion and fear.

So she doesn’t fight the impulse. “We should sleep,” she says, as she bites gently at Laudna’s neck, moves down to lick her collarbone.

Through a very lovely gasp, Laudna asks, “Forgotten the chasm already, darling?”

Imogen grins. “We should.” Her hands press at Laudna’s hips until she’s below her, bracketed by Imogen’s knees. “But I have another idea.”

Laudna laughs. “Can you be quick?”

Imogen pulls off her nightshirt and feels incredibly smug at Laudna’s wide eyes, the way her mouth is still half-open from her laughter, frozen there.

“Chasm answer? Or would you rather I…”

It’s her turn to gasp, Laudna’s mouth against her and her hands braced against the bare skin of Imogen’s back, nails dragging in that way that makes Imogen whimper shamelessly.

“Hush, now. We’ve done quite enough talking, don’t you think?”

It’s breathed into the skin of her shoulder, and Imogen can only nod, pulling Laudna closer and letting herself remember that she can have this, forever, if she chooses.

[notori]

If I was betting on it, I would - regrettably* - put my money on Imodna breaking up on screen, in game. It's something they've floated in 4SD for a while and given what's been happening I certainly wouldn't be surprised.

However, I don't actually think it would last until the end of the campaign. I think the idea of Delilah (aka. The Addiction, The Abuser) 'winning' and ending Laudna, be it physically or by destroying her good-heartedness, is super unsatisfying story-wise. I foresee a break up being the lead in to a Bell's Hells vs Delilah Round 2, where perhaps they need to fight Laudna as well this time.

I fully believe Imogen meant it when she said she would never let go and stay by Laudna's side. The problem is that, perhaps right now it isn't Laudna by her side. So, the story beat then becomes: How do we get Laudna by her (and the Hells') side again? And for that, there is a whole imagination's worth of magic at the group's disposal.

I've long thought that - especially after Imodna got together - their/Laudna's story would end with a permanent True Resurrection type of spell. As much as I would miss the undead aesthetic and AO3 ichor. But such a beat definitely feels more endgame or even epilogue. Which means we still have a ways to go with more conflict. The notion that Delilah Briarwood would just be an idle patron for an entire campaign would also be extremely unsatisfying.

Trust has definitely been broken. And I think there is something important to be said for the message of "I love you, but I don't trust you." coming into play. But these things can be repaired. Rupture and repair is a part of healthy relationships. That doesn't mean we excuse harmful behaviour, but as far as broken trust goes, it can absolutely be repaired. With the added complications (yet, also more tangible ones) of magic, they just need to find or craft a spell which can separate Delilah from Laudna, or revive her permanently as a human. And they now have access to powerful allies in the form of all kinds of spellcasters. If they save the gods, they can ask favours of them. There are so many things.

And so, while I would currently wager on a break up being likely, I will also wager that it will be a storm before the calm in order for there to be a beautiful, healing, reconciliation.

[ilanarose7]

Bells Hells Episode 95 Morning After Thoughts

SPOILERS BELOW!!! (This has become a weekly thing for me to help digest the episodes and I'm probably gonna keep doing it. really helps with my episode memory as well)

New favorite Campaign 3 episode unlocked!!!! The title of this episode has been released on Beacon (I won't spoil that), but I will personally be referring to it as "Shopping and Shipping" in my own head. It just had the perfect amount of everything and felt so incredibly cathartic (then stressful in the best way) after everything that's happened in recent episodes.

Let's break it down:

The Essek v Astrid verbal showdown!!! Essek appears to hold all the grudges that Caleb doesn't (or at least didn't really at the end of M9). When Astrid dropped the "Ludinus has an itch in the back of his neck" lore I was thinking back to when they first learned more about the harness and someone (I think it was either Marisha or Laura) wrote in their notes "We cut off Ludinus's head!!!" that was later read aloud. After that convo, that action seems like a decent play. That or maybe the Cadeuces-style Dispell Magic to the back of the neck. (side note: of course Fearne bought the Vasselheim version of the Kama Sutra 😂)

NEW CLOTHES FOR EVERYONE!!! We know there's new Dorian art waiting to be released since he rejoined the party, but everyone is getting an Aeor-ready makeover! It makes perfect sense, but I was still thrown off by the level of outfit upgrades and am so excited for the art!

Pumat is BACK! Well, his Simulacrum are at least. I don't care, just hearing that voice made me so happy. And also Dorian giving all his money to Orym so he can buy the armor? So what if I was squealing?

Downtime at the Cabaret ❤️ The Imodna kiss as Laudna went back upstairs. The Callowmoore flirting leads to Ashton, for the first time in a LONG time, successfully pick-pocketing Fearne. Dorian and Chetney banter back in full swing. Fearne leaving the EXU group hug to give Dorym a moment together. going back slightly but Iva Deshin made Bells Hells clock that YES, YOU ALL DO GIVE OFF POLYAMOROUS VIBES! So many character moments that have been needed in such a plot-heavy story

Ashton shows their head off to Essek! I have been waiting for this for sooooo long!!! Allura had given some answers, but talking more about how Dunamancy and the Assembly's manipulation of Dunamis has played a role in everything going on. While the cast know this info out of character, its good that they finally can do so in character as well

Laudna, Delilah, and the Sword-Shaped Elephant in the Room. Well, damn. First off, the acting in this last hour or so was AMAZING!! Also incredibly demonstrative of the level of trust at the table. Now to talk about the moment itself. The line between Laudna and Delilah has been getting blurrier and last night I don't think Marisha even knew fully where Laudna ended and Delilah began. The cast and many insightful Critters have been comparing Laudna to an addict and last night is an incredible example. The way Laudna handled it was wrong, this could have been a conversation rather than an initial attack. But was Laudna or Delilah the one making those choices? Or being manipulated into them? In the moment, the calm approach the group tried to take was the right one, but honestly, Laudna needs a harsher talking-to like what Chetney did with Ashton post-shard incident. Taliesin on 4SD said that's what saved Ashton from leaving the group. It might be something that, other than Imogen's love, may be enough of a wake-up call to help her break away from her Delilah-induced magic addiction

TLDR: The whole episode was full of amazing moments that were cathartic, informative, tense, and heartwarming. THE PERFECT BELLS HELLS EPISODE! again, that's just my opinion. I'd love to hear what everyone else thought too!

[falcqns]

the sign on your heart said its still reserved for me

☼ 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: Gymnast!Laudna x Imogen Temult ☼ 𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚: Laudna is a gymnast, and has successfully made it to the Olympics. Imogen, ever a supportive girlfriend, is by her side, in the stands and in her mind. ☼ 𝒂/𝒏: this is my first time writing for Imodna, and Critical Role in general, so I hope I did Imogen and Laudna justice! based on The Alchemy by my motha, Taylor Swift!

Imogen sat in the stands, her eyes locked on one thing, and one thing only: Laudna.

She watched as Laudna chalked up her hands, preparing to compete her beam routine for the event finals of the 2024 Summer Olympics. Imogen could feel the electricity shimmering just under skin, more intense than usual, and her heart thudding in her chest. The entire competition, Laudna had been just a few points away from getting a medal, and every time her score went up, Imogen's heart broke a little more for her girlfriend. Laudna had talked to her so many times about how her biggest dream was to win a medal in the Olympics. She didn't care what medal it was, as long as she got to stand on that podium, she didn't care what place she came in.

The event finals were the last chance for Laudna to get on that podium. The image of Laudna crying in her arms the night before, terrified that she was going to let everyone down, that her dream wasn't going to come true, played over and over in her head as she watched the other athletes.

“You’ve always believed in me, and if I don’t get at least a bronze, it’ll mean... it’ll mean I let you down most of all. I don’t know what I’d do if you... if you weren’t proud of me anymore.”

In that moment, Imogen's heart had broken, unable to bear the thought of Laudna thinking that Imogen would be disappointed and feel let down if she didn't win a medal. Imogen had comforted her as best she could, repeating that no matter what happens, Laudna could never let her down. In a perfect world, those words would have soothed the no doubt intense anxiety that her girlfriend was feeling, but Imogen knew that realistically, Laudna had been feeling this way for a while, long enough for her to believe it with her whole being, and that there was little that Imogen could do to try and change that.

Laudna stepped up to the beam, rolling her shoulders, and taking a deep breath. As she squeezed her eyes shut, Imogen spoke to her, reminding her that she loved her, that she could do this, that she was going to win.

"You're my tether, Laudna. Sometimes I feel like I'm about to float away, but as long as you're there..." she thought, repeating the words she had spoken to Laudna multiple times when the other girl seemed to doubt if she was good enough, if Imogen loved her, if she was worthy of the love Imogen was giving her, something Imogen knew was the result of growing up with the Briarwoods, her former adoptive family. "I believe in you. I have always believed in you. You are strong, capable, talented and so many things. You can do this. Don't overthink it. Just go for it, don't hold back. Show the judges and the competition what you are made of."

She saw Laudna nod slightly, a sign she had heard what Imogen had spoke to her. Imogen watched with bated breath as Laudna saluted to the judges, and began her routine, mounting the beam with practiced ease.

Imogen barely blinked the entire 85 seconds of Laudna's beam routine, watching as she hit skill after skill perfectly, at least in her eyes. there was no wobbling, no stumbling, nothing. Just pure and utter determination and confidence that seemed to grow the longer the routine went on, and the more she hit every skill. Laudna's eyes flickered up to her briefly as she paused at the end of the beam, before turning to face the opposite end. the buzzer sounded, signifying that Laudna had only a short time left to prove herself. Laudna breathed deeply once more, and as she began her dismount, Imogen heard the faint "I love you," echoing in her mind as Laudna flipped down the beam, hit her last big skill, a full twisting layout, and landed on the mat, no wobble or step in sight.

Imogen was the first to stand up and clap, screaming out Laudna's name, pride seemingly exploding from her chest when he saw the smile on Laudna's face; a smile that told Imogen that she had successfully proven her mind wrong - she could do this, she could win a medal. Imogen wiped away a tear as she watched her girlfriend turn and salute to the judges again, and then walk off, the pride she was feeling for herself evident in every single step she took.

After what felt like an eternity, the judges had made a decision on her score, and Imogen sent her one last "I love you, I believe in you," seconds before Laudna's score was posted.

14.465. the highest Laudna had scored the entire competition. Imogen watched with tear filled eyes as Laudna desperately tried to keep it together, to not cry and jump around, no matter how much she wanted to.

Imogen wiped away a stray tear. She was so proud of Laudna. She knew she could do it, and a score this high meant that she qualified for a medal, and Imogen found herself selfishly hoping that it was gold, because Laudna deserved all the gold medals this world had to offer.

------

Imogen only half watched the rest of the athletes. She had wanted to keep talking to Laudna, but the thoughts of the other spectators began to creep in a little too much, and Imogen ended up having to put her circlet back on, in order to preserve her own sanity. Today was about Laudna, and she was going to do everything in her power to make sure that it remains that way.

The one thing that Imogen paid attention to, however, was the scores. Each score that went up just further solidified the fact that Laudna was going to win this; she was going to get the gold.

The final athlete walked off the stage, and Imogen's eyes never left the judges, as they conferred about the score. She watched as one of the judges handed the score off to someone, probably the person who posted them, and her eyes shifted from the judges table to the score board.

A few seconds later, Imogen jumped up again and screamed when the scores showed 13.342.

Laudna was in the lead, and the event was done, which meant she did it.

She had won.

Not just won, but she had won the gold medal, the one thing Laudna kept insisting would never happen in a million years. She managed to tear her eyes away from the scoreboard to look at her girlfriend, who was stood, chest heaving as she looked up at the score board in disbelief. Imogen watched as Laudna's eyes moved to hers, and Imogen reached up, ripping off the circlet, and speaking to her, managing to ignore the other voices creeping in.

"I told you you could do it, baby." She said, and watched as Laudna ran towards her. Imogen got as close to the cement barrier as she could, and opened her arms just in time to receive arm fulls of Laudna as she jumped up to her and wrapped her arms around her neck, the smell of Laudna, mixed with sweat and chalk consumed her.

Imogen buried her face into Laudna's neck, and let her own tears flow. "I am so fuckin' proud of you." she whispered. "I told you you'd win it, baby." she pulled away, and looked Imogen in the eyes. "You did it. You won!"

Laudna didn't speak, her face just crumpling into a happy sob, her tears flowing free. "I proved them wrong," Laudna whispered, and Imogen hugged her to her chest again.

"You did baby." She whispered. "You proved them wrong, showed them what you are made of. Everything they ever said to you was wrong, you are worthy of this. You proved yourself, proved your strength, and the judges saw that. You deserve this the most out of everyone. I am so, so proud of you." She pulled back once more, and pressed her lips to Laudna's. "Go get that medal, baby." She said, and Laudna nodded, giving her another kiss, and walking over to her coach.

Imogen cried as she watched Laudna's name be announced as the winner of the gold medal. She watched through her tears as Laudna walked up to the podium, and accepted the gold medal with the biggest smile on her face, the white streak in her black hair shining bright under the stadium lights.

She was a winner, not only in the eyes of the Olympic Committee, but in her eyes as well. She always had been, but this was the first time that she could see that Laudna was starting to believe everything that Imogen had ever told her; she was starting to believe that she was worthy of everything good this world had to offer to her, and Imogen suddenly couldn't wait to show her just how much of a winner she was later.