#one year later and these guys STILL have a death grip on me. hearts were definitely stolen | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

biffhofosho · 1 year ago

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A Shot Through the Heart

Fandom: Monsta X

Genre: Smut, natch.

Word Count: 17k (yeah, you read that right >.>)

Pairing: Hyungwon x OC

Trope: Anonymous sex, strangers to lovers

Synopsis: “You can’t catch feelings sucking tequila out of a stranger's bellybutton.”

The Vibe: Hopeless romantic OC meets shameless Miami Beach party, sweet and sincere Chae Hyungwon (who’s also a bit of a pathetic loser sometimes, and I love that about him, so that’s here also), probably cringey meet-cute, definitely cringey rom-com title because obvious cheesy rom-com overtones, well-meaning friends who actually have no clue what they’re talking about, body shots, stepping out of one’s comfort zone, instant chemistry, trying (and failing) to keep things casual, unprotected (not-so) anonymous sex (thank you, dramatic irony), far too romantic for what it’s supposed to be, the usual unrealistic rom-com expectations, cute ending because the author is also a hopeless romantic

A/N: Continuing the Wonnie love agenda since no one else wants to do it for me. This was most definitely for me because I’m hyper-obsessive about Hyungwon’s every charming feature and the Unseen promotion as a whole, but I hope you enjoy it, too.

You are here for fun.

As Gwen danced from foot to foot in the raucous line, she repeated the words over and over.

You are here for fun.

With searing clarity, she could hear her roommate Marie as though they were still in the car on their long drive down from New Jersey.

“It’s Miami, okay? You’re not going for a relationship. You are here for fun. Grind up against random hot guys. Make out with a stranger. I love you, but be a little fucking unpredictable for a change. Whatever, just no crushes because, I swear to god, if you even say to me, ‘He’s really sweet, Marie! I could see myself going out with him!’, I will throw up. And if the words ‘boyfriend material’ come out of your mouth, then so help me,I’m leaving your ass in Florida.”

You are here for fun.

She couldn’t even fault her friend for the rant. Gwen formed attachments, real and imagined. Hell, she was about to celebrate her 11th anniversary of fake marriage to Dylan O’Brien even though she hadn’t watched anything with him in it in years. Almost every man she’d ever gone on a date with had been followed with a relationship that left a crater of ruinous magnitude. It drove perennial bachelorette Marie crazy considering she was always the one left behind to rip the empty cookie dough tub from her roommate’s death grip and hazmat the ground zero of all the balled-up tissues.

After the latest of Gwen’s embarrassingly short-lived “sure-thing” relationships blew up spectacularly in her face, her friend had taken her under her wing and planned to show her once and for all “how to put distance between your heart and your lady parts.”

“Let’s have a little fun at men’s expense,” Marie had proposed when she’d flaunted the extravagant hotel deal she’d scored in Gwen’s face.

Now a month later, and here they were, three nights in at a palatial hotel on Miami Beach with a pulsing club in its heart and a raucous party that trickled out onto its grand pool concourse.

Their deal had been a simple one. In exchange for saying “yes” to three bullet points on her roommate’s “good time list,” Marie would pay for the hotel rooms for their bachelorette weekend. The only other stipulation on top of that was absolutely, positively no relationships.

So far, Gwen had passed with flying colors. She’d let a man buy her a drink at the hotel bar, and she’d danced with a few strangers, all without a hint of attachment. The guys were an eclectic mix of hot that had Marie rubbing her hands together and muttering “Taste the rainbow” on ludicrous repeat, but that’s all they were—eye candy. Gwen could compartmentalize that. Her friend’s plan was working. She’d felt beautiful. She’d felt powerful. She’d felt in control of her heart for once. She was ready to conquer one last, more challenging bullet point.

“You’re young, you’re hot, but you’re too damn romantic,” Marie had scolded as she’d helped her friend accessorize before heading down for the night. “Tonight, remember your mantra. You’re here to have fun. You’re not going to invent a backstory for everyone you meet. It’s okay to be a little superficial sometimes.”

“I’m doing pretty good, aren’t I?”

“Killing it, in fact,” the spicy brunette agreed.

“Damnit, I’m still so nervous every time though,” Gwen admitted as Marie had smoothed out her friend’s blonde beachy waves.

“Yeah, I know, babe, which is why I keep urging you to dip your toe instead of deep-ending everything. Contrary to what your Nora Ephron-mutated heart tells you, ninety-nine-point-nine percent of the guys you meet aren’t marriage material for Gwen Goodwin.”

“What about the one who is?”

Marie bent down and kissed her friend’s cheek. “I don’t know, but I promise you this. You didn’t meet him last night, and you’re not going to meet him tonight.”

So it had all led up to this bullet point—a ridiculous line for body shots poolside.

“Come on, you picked the best one on the list! It’s harmless,” Marie had laughed as she escorted her friend into the line. “You can’t catch feelings sucking tequila out of a stranger's bellybutton. Now, I'm going to go hit on that guy over there, and, god willing, have his beautiful, obscene mouth on mine for a bit, and you’re going to spin the roulette wheel of hot and put your beautiful, obscene mouth on someone’s sexy stomach. No regrets?”

“No regrets,” Gwen agreed.

“I’ll have my eye on you, babe. If you need me, text me,” she said as she flashed her smartwatch at Gwen.

“Will do.”

“Have fun! Love you!”

“Good luck!”

Gwen watched as Marie zig-zagged through several clusters of partygoers until she reached her target, a rather burly guy with stupendous shoulders accentuated by a compression tee. Gwen couldn’t see the guy’s face, but she could see her friend’s, and it was lit up with a smile the likes of which she had never seen from the girl. She kept her fingers crossed that things would pan out as her friend hoped.

Meanwhile, Gwen turned back to her line where the shot-takers waited alongside the line of human shot glasses. She was at least twenty people back from the table, so there was no way to know with whom she might be paired. There were just as many women in the shot glass line as there were men, all of them attractive at unprecedented levels. She was grateful she was in the line she’d chosen because she didn’t think she could survive someone of their sexiness putting their mouths on her stomach.

That’s when her eyes fell on him, the shot glass with the round face and flushed lips. He was tall and slender, dressed unassumingly for someone in his decidedly sexier line. He wore a plain black tee and a pair of slim fit jeans on legs that seemed double the length of the rest of him. Other than a few silver rings on his spindly fingers, his only accessory was a pair of now-pointless sunglasses sitting on top of his fluffy dark hair. There was nothing flashy about the guy, yet she somehow wished she had a pair of her own sunglasses just to look at him.

His toned arms were stacked loosely over a wide chest that pulled the tee at his shoulders. Pretty as he was, the man didn’t talk to a soul; if he knew any of the people around him, he didn’t let on. Instead, those big, inquisitive eyes busied themselves scanning the party like a prairie dog.

He looked at her suddenly then, and the weight of his attention made Gwen’s ankle give out in her stupid high heels. She wobbled back with a yelp, but, luckily, the girl behind her caught her elbow and helped her regain her balance.

“You all right?” the girl asked.

“Yeah, yeah,” Gwen mumbled along with an apology and her thanks.

“Walk much?” said some generic bro a few people back in line, and it felt like everyone at the party was looking at her.

Humiliated, Gwen risked a glance over at the shot glass, but he seemed to be the only one who had turned back, though she couldn’t help but think that a proud smile tugged at his lips.

She would give just about anything for her pajamas and a romantic comedy right about now. She contemplated slipping out of line and heading back to her room, but she’d have to clear it with Marie first because she didn’t want to just leave her friend in such a big crowd of strangers, so instead, she stayed the course with plans of making a hasty retreat right after.

As the EDM pulsed across the party deck and the palm trees shimmied overhead in the steady sea breeze, the lines dwindled quicker than she ever expected.

And of course, it was becoming abundantly clear that, short of someone passing out or running off at the last possible second, Gwen was going to be lapping tequila from the navel of the pretty boy with the prettier smile.

When there was just one couple left ahead of them, she thought about offering her spot to the nice girl behind her as a thank you. The ponytailed babe behind the pretty boy sported a crop top and a great set of abs, so technically, it would still be fun for Gwen without the creeping dread, but before she could ask the girl behind her to switch places, she heard the call from the bottle girl.

“Next!”

With a lump in her throat, Gwen approached the table alongside the man in the black shirt. He nodded to the girl behind the table and then to Gwen.

“Hey.”

“H-hey,” she said.

The bottle girl continued all business as she had that night, though she did offer the man a smile she did not offer Gwen.

While she paid for her shot, he climbed onto the bar counter easily and shimmied himself into the most comfortable position the hardwood would allow.

Everyone waited for the hem of his shirt to reveal his stomach, but it didn’t. Instead, he looked to Gwen.

“You want it, you have to do it,” he said with a toothy grin as his eyes flicked to his clothed torso.

Gwen glared at his stomach and then at his face. “Excuse me?”

He laughed and waved in surrender. “I’m kidding, just kidding!”

But it was now patently clear he knew he’d been the reason she’d stumbled, and she wasn’t going to let him halt her momentum.

You are here for fun.

Finally, the attendant grew too annoyed to keep her mouth shut and griped, “If you’re not going to take the shot, I have to—”

“Okay, okay, I’m doing it,” Gwen insisted, though she’d meant it more for her shot glass than her bartender.

With a glower at the long man stretched out before her, she pushed his shoulder back so he flattened out on the table, the grin still playing at his luscious lips finally disappearing with her determination. Her fingers curled around the hem of the t-shirt resting far too near the apex of his thighs, and, slowly, she pushed it up his abdomen. She could have just yanked it up, but she wanted to punish him for his teasing as much as she wanted to savor the reveal, so she let her palm drag across the yielding skin of his stomach.

A swath of flawless flesh appeared beneath her, tensing instinctively along the path her hand had set. Like the rest of his features, it was soft and inviting. He didn’t have washboard abs like many of the men who’d showcased on the table already; instead, she found a narrow waist flaring broader and broader the higher she pushed the shirt up his chest. His freshly tanned skin featured the gentlest dips and smoothest waves of skin she’d ever seen. His navel was delicate, cute even, though she’d never considered a bellybutton particularly cute before. All of it made Gwen’s throat feel far too dry.

The bottle girl didn’t even try to hide the way she chewed her own lip, but she poured a shot of crystalline liquid into the appetizing little divot anyway. Gwen’s shot glass laughed, borderline giggled, at the sensation, sending a slender river of booze cascading over his naked waistline.

“Cold,” he confessed.

“You’re up,” the bottle girl said to Gwen with a bitterness she also didn’t try to hide.

Gwen nodded and stole a quick glance at the man’s face. He’d propped his head on his hands now so he could watch the show and grinned so hard she expected his laugh to follow any second.

Her brow wrinkled. If he was going to play games with her, then she could damn well return the favor. Gwen splayed her hand at the hem of his jeans, her fingers spread between the contrast of silken flesh and harsh denim. She bent over and pressed her bottom lip into the pouch of skin at the edge of his navel and closed her top lip around it to form a seal. She sucked quickly, a little of his skin suctioning between her lips.

The man gasped, and his hand clasped reflexively to the back of her head as she drained the last of the liquor from his navel. The urge to kiss his tummy overwhelmed, but Gwen fought it off, though she couldn’t quite stand up with his hand still in her hair. Instead, she rolled her head to the side and caught his eye. The motion surprised him, and he yanked his hand back.

Gwen stood up and licked every honeyed droplet of booze from her lips. He tried to sit up, too, but distracted by the trail of her tongue, his hand slipped in an errant splash, and he fell back onto his elbows. It was her turn to savor a proud smile.

“One more?” asked Gwen hopefully.

He didn’t hesitate. “Okay, sure.”

“Another shot please,” she said to the bottle girl, thrusting out her card.

“Sure,” said the other woman with a well-practiced smile. “See you shortly.”

“What?”

“You can buy another shot, but you’ve got to hop back in line.”

“But we’re already here?” Gwen noted with a poignant look at the man’s exposed stomach.

“Not how it works, sweetie. See you in a bit. Next!”

With a resigned sigh, Gwen rejoined the crowd. There was only a slim hope of being paired up with the same guy again, but not knowing what else to do, she followed the snaking line to the end only to notice the man was nowhere to be found.

Gwen looked for Marie, but the crowd had swelled as the night had worn on, and she couldn't find her friend anywhere. No doubt, the girl was twirling in some random hot guy’s arms somewhere in the thicket of dancers at the other end of the concourse, but Gwen didn’t really feel like braving all those sweaty bodies.

You are here for fun.

It had been fun, she realized, but it was so short-lived that now that it was over, she also realized how little fun the rest of the night had been in comparison. Rather than spoil Marie’s good time, too, Gwen made her way to a poolside recliner and sat down to people-watch.

There were hundreds of beautiful people here, not that that was a surprise; short of some place like Los Angeles, she wasn’t sure where there was a more concentrated percentage of objective hotness. Everyone rocked a beach-ready body, many still clad in their actual swimsuits, and thanks to the tropical air, they all smelled of a perfume of sunscreen, booze, and sweat. Laughter and cheers crescendoed around her as drinks were downed and the music pumped up. Tiny asses nestled in gyrating groins as limbs snaked up and down strangers’ bodies.

But as much as there was to see, the truth was the one person Gwen wanted to watch was gone.

Another ten minutes or so had passed with her eyes firmly fixed on the body shot lines, but her shot glass never reappeared, and she found herself so painfully far from the “fun” she was supposed to be having that when a new guy sat down beside her and started to chat, she decided to invent a new backstory of her own considering Marie had banned her from inventing them for bachelors she’d met.

“I only found out mid-way through the pregnancy that my cousin was having my fiancé’s baby. So I said ‘screw them all,’ packed my shit, and drove straight down here to start having some of my own fun for once,” proclaimed Gwen with a whip and toss of her hair over her shoulder.

“Heavy,” said the bearded man with a smug, approving nod next to her, and she snickered to herself at the anticipatory predatory flash in his eyes.

But her fun at the stranger’s expense was also short-lived when she heard over her shoulder, “That’s some story.”

Gwen swiveled on her chaise to find the lithe stranger from the body shot line holding a mostly empty bottle of tequila with a spout already stuffed in its neck.

“Oh, hey,” she fumbled. “You’re still here.”

“I am.”

An awkward silenced stretched between them as she scrambled to figure out which version of herself she was supposed to be presenting.

Miraculously, the bearded man saved her at the last second. “Is this your friend?”

“Best friend actually,” said her former shot glass, “here to make sure she has all the fun she wants.”

Knowing his window had closed, the bearded man nodded and faded back into the crowd without so much as a wave goodbye, not that Gwen had room to spare another second for him now that pretty boy had returned.

“Was any of that story true?” her handsome stranger asked.

Gwen shrugged. “The having fun part is true enough. The rest might have been part of said fun.”

He smiled gently, his cheeks two kissable meringues as he added, “Sorry about before.”

“For what?”

His eyes cast down her leggings to her feet. “Is your ankle okay?”

“Oh.” Gwen wrinkled her nose and protested weakly, “Hey, that wasn’t you, you know.”

“No, of course not.”

“It was these stupid heels. I’m more of a sandals girl. I’m just not used to wearing them.”

He nodded though he was clearly suppressing a laugh. “I see. So I’m off the hook?”

Gwen cocked her head in mock consideration as she eyed the bottle in his silver-clad hand. “That depends. How are you going to make up for exposing a very tragic girl after she thought she’d gotten away with it?”

One of those rings clanked emphatically against the glass, ringing even above the club music. “What about offering a second shot like you wanted?”

He waggled the bottle for effect, the liquid inside splintering the pulsing lights.

Gwen squinted at him. “How did you…?”

He brought his finger to his lips and bent down to her ear. Thanks to the blaring music, even this close, he nearly had to shout, “I stole it.”

“What a rebel.”

“Yeah, well, I’m really motivated.”

“Uh, okay, sure. I guess that’s fair.”

“Good, because I’m all about fair. Come on. I’ll find us somewhere where you can take it.”

The innuendo simmered between them until Gwen’s thirst had expanded beyond the restraints of mere drink.

“There’s a lounger right here?” she suggested as she looked at the chaise, but he shook his head.

“That would draw to much attention. I’m a rebel and thief now, remember?”

“Oh, yeah, of course. How could I forget?”

“Maybe we can head out to the beach, or,” the stranger hedged slowly, “I have a room upstairs if you want?”

His tone was matter-of-fact, considerate even, yet sin infused his bottomless brown eyes. It was a proposition Gwen had never considered. She was a fall-in-love not a fall-in-bed kind of girl.

But.

She was not going to fall in love on this trip, and she had never seen a man who looked like this one.

She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she pretended to mull it over and shrugged a shoulder to sell the act, though there had only ever been one possible outcome the moment her eyes had met his.

“Maybe it’s better if we go upstairs… I mean, we don’t want them to lock you up and throw away the key.”

“I appreciate that,” he said with a smile that left little doubt how well he understood everything.

“Let me just make sure my friend is okay with it.”

He nodded, unfazed. “I’ll do the same.”

Both of them pulled out their phones, and Gwen sent a quick message to Marie.

When Gwen put away her phone, she found the man waiting with an expectant, squishy grin on his face.

“Is your friend all good?” he asked.

“All good. What about yours?”

He motioned through the crowd back toward the hotel, and as they walked, he said, “They’re all good. Turns out they all knew already. The friend who helped me distract the bartender told the rest of them anyway, which I should have figured, I guess.”

Gwen perked an eyebrow. “They knew when I didn’t, huh? You’re not just a rebel, but a cocky rebel.”

Her companion laughed and rubbed the back of his head in his chagrin. “Maybe I’m just more of a hopeful rebel. Or a lucky one seeing as I almost lost my chance.”

She laughed now, too. “Who? That guy? No way. I think I was just amusing myself since I was bored.”

“Bored? Here, I half-expected I’d find you back in the body shot line.”

“Well, I whole-hoped I’d find you back in it, too, but since you weren’t there, that poor guy had to hear a story I’m pretty sure I stole from a soap opera.”

Her companion smirked. “I guess that makes you a rebel and a thief, too.”

“I guess so.”

They chatted easily across the busy pool deck and all through the lobby, but the second the elevator doors closed them in alone together, the conversation clotted up. It was a long and mortifyingly unbroken trip to the twenty-second floor, and the only sounds were the shush-shush of the elevator and the dull thunk of the bottle as he tapped it against his thigh.

Suddenly, he cleared his throat. “Uh, kind of embarrassed to admit this, but it occurs to me I don’t know your name. I’m—”

“You know, let’s keep it that way for now, okay?” Gwen interrupted with a tight smile.

“Huh? Oh, sure, sure…” he agreed though he couldn’t have looked more floored.

“It's nothing personal. Actually, that’s sort of the point. I have a tendency to get carried away. It’s a long, boring story, ha. And a lot less colorful than my made-up ones.”

“I'm a good listener.”

“Yeah,” she said solemnly, “I can tell that about you. Which is definitely why I need to keep things firmly in the here and now.”

“Live in the moment, I can get behind that.”

“Cool.” Gwen turned hesitantly to him just as the doors to the elevator split wide. “So, is that okay with you? Because if it’s not, we’ll just toast to this super awkward elevator ride.”

The man motioned for her to go ahead of him into the hallway before he added, “I’m not the kind of guy to turn back.”

I can tell that, too… she thought resignedly.

He led Gwen down the chic hallway to his room, where she stopped short and pulled out her phone.

“What’s up?” he asked.

“Just letting my friend know where I am.”

“That's smart,” he said with a nod. “I’m on notice now, huh?”

“You got that right, buddy.”

They shared a laugh, and again, Gwen was struck by how brightly the man’s face glowed and how engaging his laugh was. Another thought popped into her head just then.

“Speaking of...” she started as she raised her camera. “Smile?”

Without a trace of surprise or curiosity, he did, and it was so blinding, it threw off the exposure in her phone, which gave Gwen the perfect excuse to snap a few more.

“How did my mugshot come out?” he asked and craned his neck to steal a peek.

“You’re a matter of public record now, sir. But I imagine it will be the first mugshot to grace the cover of Vogue.”

“Nice.”

She stashed her phone without hitting send, with a small grin for her white lie. For some reason, Gwen couldn't bring herself to share him. But he didn't need to know that.

Meanwhile, the man fished his key card out of his too-tight jean pocket and ushered her inside. He took off his shoes as soon as he walked in, much to her relief, since it meant she could finally get out of her damn heels. When she looked back up, she was at a loss.

“Shit…”

His head whipped toward her, eyebrows pinched with concern. “Everything okay?”

“I mean… Your room is so much nicer than mine.”

He clutched his heart in mock relief before he said, “What’s your room like?”

“Not like this. Small and bayside. You have a balcony!”

“Oh, uh, yeah. It’s my friend’s bachelor party this weekend, so we all kind of went all out, I guess. You want to go out?”

“Hell yeah, I do!” Gwen squealed. She made a bee line past the enormous bed and whisked open the door.

The wind was stiffer twenty-two floors up, and it bombarded her skin, fresh and salty and a little sticky but uplifting. She breathed in deeply, a smile splitting her face. The half-moon shimmied across the Atlantic swells in time with the electronic beats filtering up from the party at the pool below. She couldn’t help herself—she waved at the partygoers even though they were far too small to see much this high up.

“Aw,” her companion said sweetly. “Waving to your friend?”

“Yeah,” replied Gwen with a blush. “Not that she’ll see me.”

He joined her in leaning on the railing and waving at his friends, too. When he looked back up, his smile shifted slightly, less silly and a lot sultrier. She cleared her throat lightly and headed back inside.

With her back to the huge bay windows, Gwen could finally take in the rest of the room. It was modern and cloaked in the same jeweled beach tones of her own, but it was much more spacious, with a desk and a sofa plus a pair of chairs, while, to the left behind a half-wall, the enormous bed stretched out beneath a large padded headboard.

With a tiny yelp, her companion scrambled over in a hurry to straighten the still-crumpled covers and even out the pillows.

“Sorry,” he mumbled as he worked, “I wasn’t expecting company.”

“It’s fine. It’s not like I make my bed on vacation. Or ever really.”

Gwen meant it, but that didn’t mean she could shake the undeniably sexy implication of those tossed sheet or the image of this beautiful man stretched out naked and languid in them.

Still, he dressed the bed as quickly as he could and turned around with a flushed face. Again, he mumbled, “Sorry.”

“No worries. Hey, do you care if I use your bathroom?”

“Sure, it’s right around there,” he replied, gesturing toward the other side of the bed.

It was really just an excuse to see how much fancier it was than her own, and it did not disappoint. Instead of just a shower stall, there was a huge walk-in surrounded by glass, and instantly, images of fogged windows with desperate hand smears flitted across her mind. Just around the corner was a deep jacuzzi tub that conjured just as many filthy thoughts.

This was progress, Gwen thought. Her libido was on overdrive, which meant she could safely put her heart in the backseat. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her waves had regrettably frizzed, and she’d sweated out a fair bit of makeup, but it did make her skin glow, even under the harsh LED lighting. After a quick freshen-up and a primp to make her chest is best perky self, she returned to find the man waiting in front of the main window, adjusting the tuck of his tee in his tiny waistline.

There was just something about him—his every gesture was sweet and sincere, completely without artifice. And just like that, her heart was threatening a comeback.

You are here for fun.

Gwen shuffled in with a short wave. “I think your bathroom might be as big as my hotel room.”

He grinned. “I think it’s bigger than my apartment honestly.”

“You mean you don’t live like a high roller every day?”

“Actually, I moonlight as a broke New Yorker.”

Oh shit, he’s not far from you, Gwennie…

“You’re ruining my fantasy of the millionaire playboy in town for a big business deal.”

“My apologies,” he joked with a bow.

“So, when’s the wedding?”

He cocked his head, and it was painfully cute. “The what?”

“Your friend’s wedding.”

“Oh, next month.”

“And the groom’s not going to be mad that you’ve abandoned him?”

The man smirked. “On the contrary. Pretty sure he’s looking for any excuse to get rid of me.”

“You really are public enemy number one, huh?”

“Oh, yeah, undisputed.”

As they came down from their laughter, Gwen realized how close they were standing. This close, those lips loomed like a full moon, and she basked in their plumpness. The heat between them brought the intoxicating tendrils of his cologne forward, a fresh brightness that matched his smile, though it occurred to her he may have stolen a moment to reapply it while she’d been in the bathroom. The thought made her swallow hard.

“You’re easy to talk to,” he confessed abruptly, and Gwen tensed all over.

You are here for fun.

“Even though we haven’t really talked about anything?” she retorted.

He shrugged one thick shoulder. “Maybe that’s why. I’m kind of a wallflower at parties. I mean, that whole body shot thing was just a dare from my friends anyway.”

“Mine was like that, too!” she blurted and immediately regretted it, the way he seemed to soften all over. It wasn’t just how gentle his already-round features looked, but he relaxed against the desk into a cool lean as his usually petal-shaped eyes widened with interest.

No backstories, Gwennie, she scolded herself. Put that distance between your heart and your lady parts!

“So that’s how it happens, huh?” she continued in a sultrier voice as her finger stroked the neck of the bottle. “You do one dare, and now, you’re a full-blown criminal mastermind?”

His voice had dropped, too, along with his eyelids. “Looks that way.”

“Are you a liar, too?”

“No! What?”

She chuckled and waved the bottle between them. “What about my second shot?”

“Oh, you were serious?”

Gwen gaped at him. “Aren’t you the one who stole the tequila?”

“That was just so I had an excuse to talk to you again.”

Oh no… He was painfully, unforgivably, patently cute. Gwen could practically hear Marie threatening to leave her in Florida.

“Ah,” she said to deflect, “so you did lure me here with empty promises.”

“No! I—"

“I’m teasing,” she assured, and as she studied his saucer eyes, she risked resting a hand on his bicep, which she had to stop herself from just straight up groping when she felt the twitching muscle beneath.

“Sorry,” he said. “I just… I never do stuff like this.”

“Like what? We haven’t done anything.” He looked helplessly at her, and Gwen chuckled again. “Sorry, still teasing. When I'm awkward, I make awkward jokes. I've never done anything like this either.”

“Like what?” he echoed, and they shared a tight smile, but it vanished when he looked at her much softer this time. “Seriously, I don't expect anything.”

You can't catch feelings sucking tequila out of a stranger's bellybutton…

“I know, but I do.” Gwen swished the bottle back and forth, and he offered what she could only type as a giggle.

“You’re right, you’re right. So, um, how do you want to…?”

He spun in a circle until he nearly made himself dizzy, and she grabbed his shoulders to steady him.

“Maybe, um, you should just lay on the bed?” she suggested.

“Oh. Yeah, that makes sense. So, I’ll just…”

“Get on the bed?”

“Get on the bed, yeah,” he repeated. The man spared a quick moment to smooth his shirt over his chest and run a hand back through his thick black hair, which had the most fatal way of feathering back across his forehead in a very regrettable heart shape.

Since the moment she’d met him, the man had possessed a magnetism that had set him apart from all the other hot people at the party, but here in his room, he was borderline pathetic, tromping around like a lost giraffe between the living room and the bed as he emptied his pockets between the desk and the bedside table. When, at last, he was ready, he walked to the foot of the bed and plopped down. He looked back at Gwen with a sheepish grin and comically high eyebrows.

“Ready?” she asked as she raised the bottle.

“If you are.”

She nodded and followed into the bedroom, and the air shifted. In here, it was hotter and even more humid than down at the beach but without the benefit of a breeze.

He sat down at the edge of the bed, and Gwen crawled on the bed beside him. She strategized on how to best take her shot, and while she positioned herself, her knees pressed into the mattress as she sat up, he untucked his shirt and raised it himself.

At the party, body shots had been a game. Here, it was foreplay. Judging from the blackness in his eyes, he knew it, too. He laid back and propped up just a bit on his elbows, which cupped his stomach just the right amount into the sweetest little bowl.

“It’s different,” he murmured.

“Yeah, it is,” she whispered, too, because somehow every thing, every word, felt very loud. “I can take my time now.”

He didn’t say anything. He just waited.

Gwen lifted the bottle, and, as carefully as she could, she tipped it until a golden thread puddled at his belly. He didn’t flinch this time. Instead, he sucked in a breath which deepened the cup at his navel, and she was only too happy to fill it to its tasty brim.

“Perfect,” she said as she set the bottle on the floor. “Don’t move.”

She braced her hands on his thigh and his ribcage and bent forward. Her lips glossed the velvety skin there before she opened her mouth and sucked up the sweet, smooth liquor all too quickly. This time, though, she spared a moment to dip her tongue into the divot, and this made the man beneath her hiss.

She licked her lips and ventured a look up his heaving torso to find him totally expressionless save for his overblown pupils.

“Satisfied?” he asked in a voice swollen with the same darkness.

Gwen shook her head lightly. “Still thirsty.”

But she did not reach for the bottle. Instead, she put her lips to his stomach and sampled a new patch of skin. It yielded beneath her, and so did he. He let out a low groan that tightened the muscles under her lips.

Another kiss led to another and then one more as she nipped and nibbled at the tender flesh. There was something about the man that was simply and undeniably edible, and no matter how much she tasted, she could not get enough. Gwen helped herself all the way up to the delicious flare of his rib cage, and at the swell there, she risked a swirl of her tongue. His head snapped up as he panted out a heavy pair of breaths.

“You're driving me crazy,” he said with a slanted smile.

“I could say the same,” she agreed, and when she brought attention back to his stomach, she noticed a lonely freckle at his hip. Her lips raced to devour it, this time adding a graze of her teeth. He jolted.

“That tickles!” he exclaimed though it was followed by another groan.

Gwen responded with another twirl of her tongue to savor the salt on his skin, and the groan became an outright moan. Emboldened by each grateful sound, her hand slid slowly up his thigh, and soon, it bumped a rigid hill smothered by tight denim.

At the first graze, he jolted again but followed it with a simmering hiss as his hips bucked reflexively into her hand. His eagerness was going to Gwen’s head. She wanted more of his pretty moans. She wanted more of his pretty body.

Her hand moved more brazenly to stroke the outline of the intensifying hardness, but this time, she was the one moaning at the way his bulge filled her palm. Her forehead pressed into that gentle stomach as she rested her lips lazily at his hip bone. Meanwhile, her fingertips traveled up the zipper to the waist of his jeans and swept back and forth before her thumb centered over the button there.

“What are you doing?” he whispered.

Gwen kissed his hip again before she answered, “You told me if I wanted it, I had to do it.”

“Ah, I said that, didn't I?”

“You did. And I want it.”

He sat up higher now, expectation on his face. He drew his lush bottom lip between his teeth, and that alone set Gwen’s blood aflame.

Without another thought, she placed a garland of kisses along the waist of his jeans, and when she undid the button there, her lips raced to taste the secret skin she’d exposed. Dimly, she realized she was getting too carried away on a chance encounter, but she couldn't stop.

She couldn’t stop.

The further her mouth charted down the open zipper track, the more powerful her desire grew. She smelled his cologne here, too, bright like the tropical air but deepening down to dark woods on a second, greedier inhale. And beneath all that was the smell of him.

Too hungry now, Gwen hooked her hands in his jeans and tugged down. He lifted his hips with zero hesitation, and soon enough, she had full access to all that she desired. She swept her hand over the black fabric still sheltering him and felt him lurch. She hummed.

Slowly, she peeled down the hem of his boxer briefs, and his cock sprung up gratefully. Above her, her pretty boy exhaled hard, which only grew raspier as her skin touched his rawness at last.

Gwen’s romantic heart had drawn her to a number of beds over the years, and she’d enjoyed some decent sex in that time, but even without entering her, she knew this man was special. All his skin had been babied, but here, he was silkiest, like satin over marble. One touch was enough to fuel an addiction that sent a blaring alarm of dread to the back of her mind that she might never touch another cock that felt like it was made just to please her.

She danced her fingertips down his wickedly hard length until she got to his base, where she squeezed appreciatively. He hissed and hummed and arched his back before he mumbled something low and deep that she wished she could make out because just the echo of its echo sounded devastating.

Gwen didn’t intend to take things so leisurely—she knew she shouldn’t be—but it seemed foolish to fast forward through what had to be the sexiest man she’d ever met. Her friend’s rules be damned, she was going to enjoy every second for as long as she could make it last.

He was watching her, open-mouthed, as she held him. Their eyes met. Her breath caught.

Gwen wet her lips and pressed them to his hot, red tip and let her tongue curl into the smooth channel underneath. Her beautiful stranger let out the raspiest groan as his face disappeared from her view to sag under the weight of pleasure.

Spurred on, she invited him into her mouth now, shallow at first, but a little greedier with each pass until she could take what she could of him to the back of her throat. When she was comfortable, she found the perfect rhythm to have him singing for her with every eager suck.

And he was so noisy. It wasn’t filthy words or heaps of degradation like she’d heard plenty of times before. Between his moans and the grunts and the achy sighs, Gwen realized she’d never been with a man who had appreciated her more. It was filling her up with not just pride but confidence, and it made her want to ruin him even further.

His hand came to rest on the back of her head, but she quickly plucked it aside and pressed it into the mattress. For the briefest of moments, she released him to mumble, “Stay still.”

His shaky “okay” made her chest feel swimmy, and, instead, he balled two handfuls of sheets. But the man couldn’t help himself. Though he was hanging onto the bed with white knuckles, his hips took to lifting from the mattress, and she had to force them back down, too. She knew with just a little more speed and the addition of a helpful hand, she would get him off in no time, but she was having so much fun.

It didn’t hurt that all his whining was getting her off, too, even without a single touch. Gwen couldn’t remember a time she’d been so wet or so turned on.

Again, the stranger moaned, but this time, he added with a thick rasp, “You’re incredible. You might be my dream girl.”

It was her turn to whimper, but the vibrations traveled not just through her body and straight to her throbbing clit, but they also traveled down his length in a circuit of pleasure. He sucked in a harsh breath through gritted teeth as his legs tensed and struggled in the confines of the jeans still cuffing his knees.

“Can I—” he said before another grunt cut him off. “Wait. Can I just—fuck—can we take these pants off? I want to feel more of you.”

Gwen startled. She sat up on the bed and watched, numb with anticipation, as the man practically had to peel off his skinny jeans. He worked as quickly as he could, but it afforded her a flash of an ass as cute and smooth as his stomach and legs as long and delicate as his fingers. When he sat back down at the edge of the bed, he pulled off his shirt, too.

When she came to his room, Gwen hadn’t really known what to expect. It was clear they would end up in bed, but, for some reason, she never expected them to be fully naked. Now that things had taken a much more intimate turn, the casual momentum she had built quickly siphoned away.

This time, he didn’t lay back.

Here, he sat—breathless, naked, gripping his glistening cock, and staring hopefully at her.

“I’d really like to see you, too,” he asked.

As soon as he voiced his throaty wish, a fresh torrent of lust leaked between her pressed thighs. If she had worn the minidress Marie had pitched, there would have been no hiding it.

Gwen wanted to be coy or funny or anything other than tragically eager for this man, but how could she say no to such hopeful eyes and freckled lips?

With a red face and sweaty hands, she slipped out of her shirt, leaving her in her bra and leggings. She’d been wearing the same damn burgundy lace piece for two years, but now her hands were shaking so badly that she couldn’t undo the last clasp she’d put on hundreds of times.

He smiled knowingly and leaned in to wrap his arms around her. It only took him a moment to rescue her, but in his arms, time had stopped. Skin to skin changed everything. Gwen was spiraling, and the only way to make it stop was to steer into her tailspin.

Their lips met not in a clatter, but gently and with curiosity. Even at first brush, the way his puffy top lip notched into the crease of her lips felt like habit, like it had been there many times before and should return countless more times.

His hands cupped her cheeks briefly before they slid back in tandem to tangle in her disheveled waves. Only then, as he held her fiercely, did his tongue slip into her mouth to their shared whimper. One of his hands glided from her hair, down the back of her neck and over her shoulder, fingertips dancing like raindrops with the same biting chill thanks to the metal at his knuckles. He traced the side of her breast and then its underside all while his lips meshed with hers and his tongue curled deliciously against the roof of her mouth.

Trapped in the riptide of the moment, Gwen reached for him, too. His skin was just as soft at his neck and shoulders as it was at his waist, and she couldn’t stop stroking every inch she could access. He was only too happy to encourage her touches, even going so far to redirect her hand from his ribs to his hair like he wanted her to pet him. She let out a needy sigh that his mouth immediately gobbled up.

It wasn’t a surprise that the man was an attentive kisser. What surprised Gwen was how much she felt in the kiss. He was pouring something into her even as he seemed to drink from her, and she didn’t want it to stop.

She didn’t want it to ever stop.

You are here for fun.

Marie’s voice in the back of Gwen’s head was the ice water the blonde needed to disentangle from her beautiful stranger. Because that was all he was.

A beautiful stranger.

Gwen pulled back. He blinked slowly at her, but she kissed his flushed lips briefly to soften the transition. The hand of hers he’d placed in his hair drifted down his arm to his thigh, and whatever emotion had knitted his brows a moment ago corrupted. With a gnaw of her bottom lip, she slipped off the bed to the floor. His eyes followed.

He didn’t ask Gwen to kneel between his legs, but he didn’t have to. She was getting good at telling exactly what he’d like best—far too good at it.

His thighs were much creamier than the Florida caramel that warmed the rest of him, and as she shuffled into position between them, her hands worked higher and higher up their breadth. His knees tightened at her shoulders. Now that she was shirtless, she had no defense against the zaps of electricity that came with each stolen moment of raw contact.

His cock strained between his hips, the head shiny with lust and the veins pulsing along its length. Gwen gripped his hilt and stroked a few times, and he sighed in relief.

Now that he was sitting up, their dynamic swapped. He loomed over her. Shadows darkened what had always been a bright face. His enormous hands braced at the edge of the bed, firing prominent veins along his forearms. His shoulders corded with heavy muscle previously concealed by his round edges. The planes of his stomach creased as he bent over her. He wasn’t about to neglect even a second of his front row seat.

Gwen brought her lips back to his member and picked right back up where she’d left off, only this time she was noisier. Wet slurps and hungry hums echoed up from between his legs, and with each one, he got a little louder, too.

This time when his massive hand curled around the back of her head, Gwen reveled in it. His nails scratched deliciously against her scalp as he threaded her hair through those elegant fingers and tugged mindlessly. She was grateful she’d forgotten to strip off her leggings or she would have been dripping shamelessly on the carpet.

At last, she picked up speed, so she closed her eyes and concentrated on her seal around his demanding thickness. Her lips chased her fist up and down his shaft so he was never without a moment of her full attention.

The messier she savored him, the more urgent his whines got and the more he bucked underneath her. The hand in her hair was now a fist full of a makeshift ponytail. Mouth full, she raised her eyes to his face. A swirl of her tongue around his tip was all it took to rip a cry from his hunkered chest.

“Wait, wait, wait!” he demanded and pushed her shoulders back. “Wow, okay, you have to stop. I’m going to cum.”

“That’s the idea,” Gwen replied as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

But the man shook his head. “I want to make this last, and I definitely don’t want to disappoint you.”

“You’re not.”

“Good… Good.”

A pregnant silence fell between them. Both of them considered where to direct the needle of their night next, but he was faster.

“You know, the view from up here really is something,” he said.

“Ha ha,” Gwen said drily, but the earnest look on his face knocked her sarcasm down a few pegs.

“Come up and see.”

He offered both his hands, and once she took them, he helped her up to the edge of the bed. When she was seated beside him again, he kissed her sweetly.

When he stopped, his forehead rocked against hers, and her eyes fluttered open.

“I really want to taste you,” he confessed in a whisper.

Gwen swallowed hard.

“You do?”

“Desperately.”

“It’s just—” she fumbled, painfully aware of the panic in her voice.

“You don’t want me to?”

She didn’t know how to explain herself without pitiful embarrassment. Most of the men Gwen had dated were keen for a blowjob but always had a dozen reasons to move things along right after. Over time, it had given her a heavy insecurity, which Marie had always assured her was utter bullshit, yet still it persisted. Gwen didn’t think she could recover from someone this desirable rejecting her, even if he was a total stranger.

“No, I mean, yeah, if you really want,” she blundered, “but… it’s just—”

She bit her lip, and he cocked his head patiently. His hand squeezed her knee, and the words came tumbling out of her mouth.

“I’m kind of a mess down there.”

“Yeah?” he said hopefully—to her complete and utter shock. “Come on, you can’t tease me like that. Now, I have to taste you.”

“What if— It might take me awhile,” she admitted from behind her hands.

Gently, he lowered them from her face to her lap, where he held them like a friend, though his hooded eyes and honeyed voice told a very different story.

“I hope it does.”

Gwen gasped and closed her eyes to steady herself. “What about you?”

He laughed. “This is about me.”

The best she could manage was a slow nod, but that was all the stranger needed.

He dropped to his knees on the floor and spread her legs enough to rub his huge palms up her thighs and back down again. The more he soothed her, the more her legs parted on their own so he could sit taller—and closer—between them. On the next sweep up, his hands lingered at the crest of her thighs so his thumbs could stroke over her swollen sex still imprisoned in her leggings.

“Feel good?” he asked.

“So good,” she replied as she collapsed onto the mattress and threw an arm over her eyes.

“Good. You can watch if you want, you know.”

“Yeah, I’m not sure I’d recover from something like that. You’re, like, the hottest guy I’ve ever seen as it is. That might actually ruin me for life.”

He chuckled, but it was tainted with pride. “Maybe that’s the idea.”

Gwen shot up to her elbows to argue, but that was the exact moment the man wriggled his slender fingers under her waistband and then her underwear to peel them both off. Cold air attacked her core, and though it was a relief to finally be free of her sticky prison, she was unprepared for the pad of his finger to graze over the seam of her lips. She shivered and whined.

He hummed. “You’re really feeding my ego here, sweetheart.”

His thumbs resumed the same stroke as before, but since it was over her bare lips this time, the intensity amplified exponentially. Each wave parted her folds a bit, and there was no escaping the knowledge that her arousal leaked heavily every time.

“What a pretty sight,” he murmured.

Foolishly, Gwen stole a look at the man, and the image of his keen eyes fixed on her wet cunt branded her brain just as she’d feared. She whimpered, zipping her bottom lip between her teeth to near shreds as he played with her.

She felt the first brush of his lips against her not in the careless rush of an obligation but as a leisurely kiss of a seasoned lover. There, his mouth lingered only to part for his purposeful tongue. He licked up along her seam once—twice—and on the third pass, his fingers parted her core wide. The exposure had her keening mindlessly, but when his tongue swiped through the secret skin, she cried at the top of her lungs. Her arm pressed over her eyes hard enough to create starbursts behind her lids while her other arm pressed over her mouth.

For just a moment, he pulled back. Another burst of cool air blasted her core as he hummed again, this time dreamily. “Perfect.”

He kissed the meat of her thigh once, and then drove on heedlessly. He teased her entrance for a moment before he swirled that wicked tongue around her clit with a mind-numbing rhythm. Through all of it, Gwen sank deeper into pleasure. As vocal as he had been, she managed to outdo him even with her makeshift gag. It was completely mortifying but also completely out of her control.

He didn’t try to stop her writhing or her moaning. Instead, he used them both to his advantage. Whenever she squirmed, he chased, and it made the promise of release a near certainty.

It was incredible. It was terrifying.

It shouldn’t be this easy. It had never been this easy before.

Gwen felt the blossom of his lips nibbling at her aching clit, and before she could brace herself, he’d taken her in his mouth. It wasn’t just his delicious suction that made her lungs seize but the way his tongue undulated across her eager bud.

And then he pressed a fingertip to her entrance.

Gwen’s hands flew to the sheets and dug into the mattress. Her head snapped up as she screamed, “Oh my god!”

Her eyes flew open. He was waiting.

Damn heart-shaped hair and damn heavy eyes stole what was left of her sanity right before he eased his finger inside her.

At least the unprecedented bliss gave Gwen the small mercy of forcing her flat to the bed. Her back arched, her nipples tightened, and her voice gave out. The only thing she could do was pant like some unbound creature.

His fingers were so long—world-record long, she thought drunkenly—and they explored parts of her she’d never even known were there. He didn’t race through her either, but primed her the same as she’d primed him, the devil. In only a matter of a few plunges, he knew her in ways she’d never even known herself.

In and out, in and out, he pumped that perilously long finger, each stroke sealed with a kiss of metal and knuckle. Her body hungered louder and messier, worse even than she’d promised him. Her shameless pussy dribbled like it had never been touched before, and Gwen was very, very glad she could hide in the crook of her arm.

And then he added a second finger.

The stretch was vision-whitening, the depth dizzying, but still his tongue insisted on speeding her to her ledge. Even with her face covered, she turned away because looking at him was like risking looking into the sun.

“I’m going to— I’m going to—” she stammered.

His mouth lifted then, but before Gwen could protest, he brought his other fingers to her clit. There, he kept a thorough pace just shy of what she needed. No doubt, he knew it just as she had known it with him, but with the tables turned, it felt unexpectedly cruel.

As if to contradict that, he tenderly kissed her thigh, and basic instinct drove her to look at him.

He smiled at her, and, with grit in his voice, he asked, “You going to cum for me, beautiful?”

“Yes!” cried Gwen, shuddering on his fingers. “Yes, yes, yes!”

His fingers moved faster now, across her throbbing hill as well as inside her. Pressure like she’d never felt built between her hips. It was hard to breathe. It was hard to think.

And it all happened faster than she could ever have imagined.

She unwound.

Eyes winched shut, Gwen tore at the sheets as she arched, every muscle clamped in ecstasy, before everything released and she slumped glassy-eyed onto the mattress. Somewhere below her, she heard a little refrain of happy hums and dimly felt the slick circle of a tongue collecting all that she had released.

She panted as she came down from her high, her arm flung over her face once again, feeling everything and nothing all at once. As she worked to center herself, Gwen shivered.

“That was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen,” said the stranger who was once again idly massaging her thighs, this time with the most delicious domesticity. “You kind of glow when you cum.”

“Oh, shut up!” she wailed as she curled into a ball.

“What? Sorry, but I mean it. You do this cute little thing with your toes, like a kitten paw.”

Gwen heard him pantomiming something in the sheets, but she was too busy cringing into another universe, one where she’d kept at least a little of her dignity. She burrowed her head deeper into her arms to fight back how endearing she found him.

“Hey,” he said with the sincerity of concern. “You okay?”

“Mm-hm.”

“You liked it, right?”

Gwen peeked out through a small window behind her arms and found the man seated beside her on the bed. He looked down at her with eyes no longer blackened exclusively by desire but softened with care. She bit her lip and lifted her head as she held his gaze.

A beat passed before she said, “I loved it.”

“Well then, if that’s the case…” he said softly.

He leaned down and kissed her as lightly as a feather brushing skin. When he pulled back, there was the sweet temptation of darkness tinting his eyes once more.

“Will you let me inside you?”

“Why did you have to say it like that?” whimpered Gwen as she flopped back onto the mattress.

“I’m sorry,” he said though he sounded anything but. “Is this better? Please let me fuck you.”

She hissed. “You’re a terrible, terrible man.”

“Yeah, but I’ll make you feel so good, and I did ask nicely.”

“You did…” she murmured as she leaned up.

Their lips barely had time to fully enmesh because he had to help guide her up to the pillows since the only thing she could manage for the moment was a beached fish, half-hearted wiggle.

If Gwen thought she’d have a moment to recover between heated kisses, she was dead wrong. He caged her in beneath him, his heavy cock thudding unmistakably against her mound as his body flattened against hers. Her legs spread instinctively. Perhaps she should have taken the many, many hints that she would never have any control over herself with this man, but the way her body simply opened for him was more than a little pathetic.

At first, she threaded both hands in his hair, and he groaned into her mouth, but every little thing he did made her restless for more. She kept a hand fixed in his hair while the other now squeezed and groped the length of his back. Even if she couldn’t see it at the moment, his shape drove her wild. Not only did his definition heat her hotter than she’d ever felt in her life, but, fully pressed against hers, his skin was as decadent as cashmere.

His member, on the other hand, was as heavy and demanding as a stone on her mound. Every time he rutted against her, the base of his shaft brushing her engorged folds, she lost a little more of her sanity. She could probably cum again just like this, completely empty and yet feeling so fulfilled.

They passed some time in each other’s mouths without further expectation, but the weightier his cock pressed, the more impossible it was to ignore her basest needs. As he’d been able to do all night, he read her easily.

Unwilling to leave her lips, he groped blindly at the nightstand until he’d found what he was looking for and had to break their kiss. He held up a condom, his eyebrows up on his sweet, swollen-lipped face with the unasked question.

“Forget it,” Gwen said with a huff. “We’ve already crossed the line, I’m on the pill, and I really just want to feel you.”

“Oh, shit, are you—” he said, but she cupped his cheeks and kissed him hungrily.

She was being stupid, but the fuck if she cared.

Gwen whimpered with every sweep of his tongue, but those gave way to hitching cries as his long fingers trailed from her cheek down her arm to her hip where they danced in unreadable designs across her flesh. It was so playful, so charming that her heart fluttered to a totally different rhythm than it had all night. And that was dangerous. She needed to move this along at last.

You are here for fun.

Her hips jerked beneath him, tilting up in a kiss far filthier and needier than even their mouths’, and he pulled back with a ragged hiss.

“You are so wet again,” he growled with a glance down between their bodies.

“I can’t help what you’re doing to me.”

He cocked his head to the side, looking handsomer than any man really had a right. “Yeah?”

“Yes…” she sighed. “You make me so desperate.”

She drove her hips up again, her overheated sex grazing his base once more. His eyes flared, and Gwen felt the urge to cower.

Suddenly, he grabbed her arm and pushed it above her head, pinning it there by her wrist.

Dimly, the bass from the music far below drummed through the walls, but it was little more than a backing track to their tattered breath.

His stare was more commanding, more powerful even than the hot-forged iron branding her just shy of her center.

“I—”

Despite how badly Gwen yearned to hear the rest, he let whatever thought it was simmer on the heavily perfumed air enveloping them. His eyes searched her, from his ring-clad hand clasping her wrist to her sweat-studded breasts and back, at last, to her parted mouth.

He dove back down to her lips with another growl while his other hand fumbled between their bodies. After a moment, his hips lifted, and she felt the blunt head of his cock at her entrance at last.

She needed air to calm her ragged nerves, but thief that he was, he stole everything from her with another nibble of her lips. As his tongue entered her mouth again, he pushed his length inside her walls.

Gwen tore from his kiss to unleash the reediest moan of her life.

“Oh fuck,” he grunted. “Did you feel that?”

She had no idea what he meant, which made it all the more dangerous because she knew exactly what she felt.

Everything.

Why did he have to kiss her just then?

Why did he have to fill her like he was the only one who should ever do it again?

You’re idealizing, Gwennie, she scrambled to remind her sex-saturated mind, but she couldn’t convince herself to stop even if she knew she was. This was a man who was every bit as perfect as her stupid romantic self wanted to believe.

All Gwen could do was moan and grasp the back of his head.

He followed the weight of her hand and pressed his face into the juncture of her neck to kiss her reverentially.

“Go slow,” she implored.

He hummed in agreement and eased his hips back to draw his length to its limit before gliding back in as though he were savoring her. The moment he bottomed out, her mouth fell open in a silent wail. Gwen had never felt so full.

“That’s it, sweetheart,” he murmured. “Open up for me.”

His voice penetrated as deeply as his cock and rendered her putty in his hands.

Each sweep of his hips was catastrophic, but it was even worse since his body smothered hers. It was too much and not enough all at once, and Gwen was glad she didn’t have use of her other hand or she’d have wrapped him up in her arms already.

She thought after the first few strokes that he’d pick up speed, but he seemed content to while away their night just like this. The only change to his smooth rhythm was the rough emphasis he added to his every thrust that drove the air out of her lungs each time. It was like he was trying to drive deeper and deeper and deeper inside of her.

Each penetration afforded her the sexiest view of the horizon of his body, and now that she was this far gone, she lifted her head so she wouldn't miss another moment. He moved with the grace of water, and the current threatened to drown her just as easily. The swell of his ass rose and fell over the heave of his back.

His whines and grunts came back with a vengeance, with the added mercilessness of being uttered along her skin. It was a devastating reminder that as much pleasure as she drew from him, he was just as greedy for her body, too.

“Need to fuck you harder,” he warned in a voice heavy with gravel. “I need to.”

“I want you to,” Gwen echoed.

If she thought this would be the reason he pulled back from this ridiculous intimacy, she was dead wrong. Instead, he stilled inside her as he lifted to his elbows, but it only brought his searing gaze to her. His enormous hand soared up to cup her cheek. His thumb traced her bottom lip before, at last, he planted his hand firmly on the mattress.

His first few thrusts stayed slow, but soon he gained speed and, with it, power. His hips slapped against hers, and each time, it sounded wetter and wetter, but it all should have been louder.

The difference was, now that they couldn’t tear their eyes away from one another, neither seemed capable of making a sound. It was all Gwen could do to remember to breathe.

Harder and harder, he drove into her until her tits were bouncing and each fuck pushed rhythmic, vibrating cries from her. Still, she could tell they were both holding something back from one another.

They knew the moment they ended, whatever this was had to end, too.

His luscious mouth parted. There were words there, half-formed, but those he held back, too, though she starved to know them.

The next thing Gwen knew, he released her wrist to push her knee up and back. The angle shifted, and she had no choice but to rip her eyes from his to watch as his cock disappeared inside her greedy cunt.

She let out a tattered moan before she hiccupped out, “So. Fucking. Good.”

“I want to be deeper,” he answered back.

Gwen’s eyes rolled back in her head. “You’re—ah—you’re already so deep.”

But he didn’t seem to hear her. He dropped to her chest again, his hips rutting truly desperately at last. He buried his face in her neck and his nose in her hair as his lips glanced across her skin in the unintentional kiss that came with every thrust.

“Deeper…” he murmured as though hypnotized.

“Oh my god!”

He hitched her thigh higher up his side so she could feel with devastating consequence the way his ribs flared with every frantic gulp of air.

“Wrap your leg around me,” he instructed.

Gwen dug her heel into the meat of his back, and he grunted, but it still wasn’t enough for him.

“Hold me tighter, please.”

As she’d feared, it was a mistake the moment she wrapped her arms around him. Strangers fucking didn’t embrace. Yet here she was, clinging on with the last of her sanity to his sturdy shoulder blades.

He smelled so good—like sex and summer—and it imprinted on her mind.

“So. Deep,” she stuttered.

The way he stretched her out clouded her mind until the only thing she could find through the fog was him.

How could he possess her so fully but make her so desperate for more of him?

Him.

“Give me your hand,” he demanded in a rush.

Gwen let one hand fall from his back to the bed, and he grabbed it quickly and pushed it up over her head again, only this time, his fingers threaded through hers and squeezed as tightly as her walls squeezed his shaft.

His thrusts switched to shorter, shallower, much faster now. Each time, his cockhead brushed over a spot inside her that robbed her of all sound and all thought. Just like that, he’d reduced her to nothing but quivering nerves and trembling muscles.

Gwen dug her nails roughly into his back same as she squeezed his hand and let him ride her for all she was worth.

Since his cheek pressed against hers, she heard his every grunt in relentless stereo. He was too needy, too desperate. It was only magnifying those same feelings inside her.

Her skin burned with sweat. Her eyes burned from squeezing them against the overwhelming pleasure. Her core burned from the friction of his perfect fucking.

He was panting in her ear, and she could feel the curl of his lip as he snarled.

Gwen moved her free hand into his hair as she clutched his head to her like a lover.

“Baby,” she cried, “baby, I’m going to cum again.”

He let out the most pitiful whine she’d ever heard in her life as his hips spurred even faster.

“Baby.”

The pull was there, starting at her chest and dragging her down.

Down.

“Give it to me,” he urged, the words nearly broken under the crushing weight of his desperation.

“Baby!”

This time when Gwen said it, it was a strangled little thing, the last breath of a woman before she disappeared beneath the waves.

It was different, cumming with his cock inside her instead of his fingers. Her walls frantically beckoned him to disappear within her, willing him to never leave. She shivered and shook and screamed with the power of a release she’d never thought herself capable.

He fucked her through it all, the smoky curl of his self-satisfied “yes…” unfurling across her skin.

And when at last Gwen had no more aftershocks to give, she laid there too limp to hold on to him at all. Her leg slipped to the bed and her hand from his hair and her fingers slackened in his, though he refused to let her go.

His strokes had grown erratic, each one accompanied by the sloppy sounds of her catastrophic release.

“Where do you want me to cum?” he said hurriedly.

Gwen knew what she wanted—what her body was demanding. She wanted him to fill her up. She wanted this perfectly handsome perfect stranger to cum deep inside her so she should could hold on to a little bit of him even after she walked out the door.

But this was the end—not just of their passionate sex but their time together. If she didn’t put distance between them right now, she was in for an even more terrible fall.

No feelings, just sex.

“My face,” she blurted.

Gwen regretted it instantly. That wasn’t what she wanted at all, and she braced for the humiliation she deserved.

But, instead, he pulled out with a strangled cry and came in the tangle of bed sheets beside him.

“I’m sorry,” he managed between heaves of breath and frantic jerks of his spasming cock. “I’m sorry.”

She watched his broad, glistening back flare as he hid himself from her, and she couldn’t stop herself from reaching out to touch him. Her fingertips slipped in the sheen of sweat there, and his head whipped back toward her.

“I couldn’t do that,” he said dejectedly. “You’re just so pretty, I’m sorry. I know that’s what you wanted, but—”

“I didn’t mean it anyway,” she said. “I don’t know why I said it.”

Something fluttered across his dark features before his brow furrowed, and he turned away again. “Damnit, I should have never listened to my friends.”

Gwen quirked her head even as she covered up with the sheet. “Your friends?”

The man tumbled onto the mattress and spread out like a winded starfish without a single care for his nakedness, and she felt a little shame at the way she ogled that delicious stomach and his softening length now glossy and still leaking onto his thigh.

He sighed.

He was so different now from the dark, intense man he’d been only moments ago. Back was the brilliance that emanated from within that almost compelled Gwen to close her eyes when she looked at him. She could hardly believe it was the same man who’d brought her to two earth-shaking orgasms in no time at all.

“Can I confess something to you?” he said.

Gwen tensed all over, but she managed a nod of her head. “Okay.”

“This isn’t really my thing,” he continued, and her heart plummeted in ways it shouldn’t considering she’d just fucked a total stranger.

“Oh…”

Gwen realized too late how apparent the disappointment in her voice was when the man shot up and swiveled to her, his hands waving in defense. “I didn’t mean it like that, I swear! I mean, I have a hard time keeping things… simple. It wasn’t just the body shot thing that was a dare. Tonight was kind of my friends’ idea. They want me to be more… unattached, I guess?”

“That’s what my friend said, too,” Gwen laughed.

“Really?” He joined her laugh until, finally, his shoulders sagged with a light sigh as he covered his lower half with the sheet at last.

“Yeah.”

“I thought I was doing pretty good there, too, but— That was just so much more than I ever expected—you’re kind of more than I expected—and I really don’t want you to think I was just using you.”

“I don’t.”

“Good. Because…” He paused then, massaging his lips together as his eyes fell to his lap. “I think their dare kind of backfired anyway. Or it’s entirely possible I’m a hopeless case. So… I was wondering if you wanted to hang out tomorrow?”

At this, Gwen stiffened. Her eyes snagged on his naked frame. Though the sheet swaddled his hips and thighs, it did nothing to hide his tummy or his shoulders or his bowed head, nor did it conceal his pencil legs and feet poking sweetly over the edge of the bed. And then she realized they were both tucked under that sheet, and it would be so, so easy to just lay back and fall asleep with him.

There it was again, that urge to romanticize someone she didn’t even know, yet everything about the guy screamed boyfriend—or worse.

Oh no.

Boyfriend.

The one word Marie had made Gwen swear not to use this weekend.

And damned if her roommate hadn’t been right all along. The hard truth was, Gwen didn’t know this man. She didn’t know what he did, she didn’t know his past, she didn’t know his ethnicity or even his damn name, and that was all there was to it. To assign any more meaning to it was every bit as foolish as everyone always reminded her she was.

Dread welled in her stomach and weighted her limbs. The best Gwen could do was offer a tight smile. “I’d really like that, but my friend has our whole day planned.”

“Oh.” He looked crestfallen, but he picked himself up quickly and slipped out of the bed in a shy, awkward rush while trying to keep his modesty with the edge of the sheet still draped around his hips. He stretched out his leg as far as he could to hook the band of his jeans with his toe. He tried to keep conversation flowing even as he struggled with the cutest little grunts very different to the ones that had just been uttered for her ears only. “Oh yeah? Going to check out the beach or the city?”

“I’m not sure,” Gwen said. The truth was they had no plans, but she had to lie because her whole body screamed to meet him again, and if she did, there was no way of keeping things superficial. The man was too cute, too sincere, and far, far too sexy to turn down a second time. “I’m not one for itineraries. I kind of go where my heart leads me.”

He stopped, jeans sagging in hand as he looked at her with a gentle smile. “Yeah, same.”

But then his smile fell away, and he raced to shimmy into his jeans, too in a hurry to even bother with his underwear, and Gwen turned her head and busied herself poking at the remote on the bedside table.

Over her shoulder, she asked, “So, what will you guys get up to then? More bachelor party stuff?”

“I never can tell with them. Even when one of the guys makes plans, the others always seem to change them. I’m just along for the ride.”

“Easiest way to get through life,” she agreed. Gwen wanted to flinch at her own voice, but she didn’t want to call any more attention to her terrible bedside manner than she already had.

In the end, it didn’t matter. The man beside her was too perceptive, and he picked up her cues instantly. “Let me just grab the rest of my clothes and clean up in the bathroom so you can get dressed.”

“Would you mind if I go first? You know, since...”

Maybe if she tried hard enough, her awkwardness could compact her into a handful of atoms, and she could just disappear.

“Oh, of course, duh. Sure. Absolutely,” he bumbled.

Gwen grabbed the haphazard pile at the foot of the bed and practically sprinted to the bathroom where she tried to lose herself in the repetition of cleanliness. At least that was automatic.

Against her better judgment, she checked herself in the mirror. She looked every bit as undone as he had made her, and she hastily combed her fingers through her bed head so she didn’t scream “harlot” when she made her way back through the hallways. She rinsed her face and neck and swished some water to freshen her breath, and when she was done, she felt brave enough to face the music.

When Gwen returned to the bedroom, she found the man dressed as he had been, though all his clothes bore the same noticeable wrinkles and bagginess that hers did.

He smiled at her, and she swallowed roughly.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey.”

It was agony. She just wanted to kiss him again. She wanted to feel him again. She wanted to hear him in the shell of her ear again.

“So, this was really fun,” she said lamely. “Thanks for the drinks and, you know, everything else.”

He laughed shyly.

This time, as she faced his open complexion and expressive eyes, she had no choice but to be sincere. “I had a really great time.”

“You did?”

She nodded. “I really didn’t expect to meet someone like you either, but I’m glad I did.”

“Ah!” he exclaimed before he unexpectedly bowed to her. “Thank you. I feel the same.”

Gwen burst out laughing, which helped ease the pang in her heart at having to pull away. “You’re cute.”

He shrugged a shoulder and laughed, too, though his was much more forced. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out, and the pair stood there in a stalemate. At last, he took a step back, and she took one forward.

“So…”

“So…” he echoed.

Gwen bit the inside of her cheek roughly in the desperate hope it would wake her up, and, thankfully, the flare of pain combatted the butterflies before they could overtake her. Tightly, she began, “I’m going to head out, I think.”

“Sure, yeah,” he said as he ushered her back into the living room to the door. “Yeah, you probably should. Are you good to walk back to your room? Wait, this is your hotel, right? Do I need to call you an Uber?”

“Yeah, I’m here. All good.”

“Good.”

They exchanged another round of confused smiles before Gwen, fool that she was, lurched up onto her tip toes and placed a kiss on his cheek. When she pulled back, his smile slanted with an irresistible dopiness.

“You sure you don’t want me to walk you back?”

“You probably shouldn’t.”

He nodded as though he understood, but Gwen wasn’t sure she did even though she’d been the one to say it.

“Goodnight,” she whispered.

“Night,” he replied. “Take care.”

He opened his hotel door, and with a nod of her head first, Gwen turned and headed down the hall with the burning notion that he was watching her walk away.

She barely made it to the elevator before she had her phone in hand, intending to text Marie that she was headed back, but Gwen got sidetracked by the memory of what now lurked in her gallery.

She opened her camera roll only to be assaulted immediately by several snaps of his heart-shaped hair and buoyant cheeks framing his dazzling smile.

“He's cute. Is that your boyfriend?”

Gwen’s head shot up. She hadn’t even realized the elevator had stopped to acquire another passenger at some point. The bleached blonde girl smiled, her wild gold eyeliner glinting in the lowlight like some forest sprite sent there just to taunt her.

Gwen locked her phone and stuffed it in her leggings pocket with a shake of her head. “Uh. Oh, no, he’s just a friend.”

“Cute friend.”

“Yeah.”

The elevator dinged at the fourth floor and Gwen nodded to the other woman. “This is me. Have a good night.”

“You too!”

Back at her room, Gwen showered quickly, hoping it would be easier to distance herself from the forbidden word now buzzing in her brain like neon.

Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Boyfriend.

She considered a shower, but that meant too much time to think just as much as it meant washing off the remnants of his cologne. She could do that in the morning once her heart had sobered up from its dopamine surge.

Gwen dressed for bed the same mechanical way she had back in Room 2281, and once she was safely into her pajamas, the familiarity brought the exhaustion in her muscles to the surface. She was only too happy to climb into bed after that, and tired as she was, she remembered to send her text to Marie.

Her finger hovered over the gallery icon again, but at the last second, she forced her phone off and let the night take hold of her.

Gwen woke to banging at her door. She blinked, rubbed her eyes, and sat up slowly since her muscles ached from head to toe. She glanced at the thick drapes and caught the wan strip of light along the edges, but she had no clue what time it was until she grabbed her phone to find that it was just past noon. Even more surprisingly, she noted the slew of notifications.

Nine texts and four missed calls, all from Marie.

The banging continued, and Gwen groaned. “Give me a minute!”

At last, it quieted, and she shuffled like a geriatric over to the peephole. There, warped in the fish eye lens, was her roommate looking the perfect cross between annoyed and desperate. Gwen unlocked the door, and Marie rushed in.

“Finally,” the brunette said. “I was getting seriously worried.”

“I told you I made it back,” Gwen corrected.

“Yeah, but then you didn’t answer me at all, and I thought maybe you were passed out or something.”

The blonde squinted as she studied her friend now pacing the length of the hotel room. “Are you sure that’s it? Seems to me you’re the one who’s not okay.”

Marie shrugged a shoulder.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” her roommate said, still pacing. “Everything.”

Still exhausted, Gwen sat back on the bed and waited.

“Shit, it’s just— You know what, let's go to the pool. Maybe it will wash that guy out of my system.”

“That guy? The one from the party last night? Did you have a bad night?”

“No! Worse!” Marie wailed and flopped onto the bed. “He wasn't just scalding hot. He was likable! Ugh, I'm devastated. Catching feelings is your thing, girl, not mine. Damnit, I need a distraction. Tell me about your night. Please, don’t spare a single fucking detail.”

It was Gwen’s turn to shrug a shoulder. “I had fun.”

“So much fun you're not even going to tell your friend a single detail?” But then Marie's eyes narrowed, and her roommate’s skin bristled. “Or you had too much fun?”

“Hey, I slept in my own room last night, thank you.”

Marie whined. “Shit, I know. I must be projecting.”

“So what the hell happened with you last night?” Gwen said, only too happy to turn the attention away from her as she shuffled into the bathroom for her usual morning routine.

“I hardly know. We were dancing and drinking, no big deal, so I figured it was just going to be the usual fun, and it was fun, but, shit, he was just different, you know? He was like one of those lead guys from your movies, all gentlemanly and shit but more, too. Like he’s got secrets, but not the kind you want to run from, the kind you want to know. Oh my god, what am I even saying?”

Gwen smiled. “So, he was hot and charming? How is that different from the other guys you hook up with?”

“Gwennie, I didn’t even tell you about the sex. Shit, the way he moved his hips! There should be a law. And he was so diligent. He knew exactly what I wanted, and I didn't have to say a word, which was good because the only ones I could utter were swears. And I just couldn’t keep my hands off of him, you know? Fuck, not just his muscles, but his hair…” Marie laid there slack-jawed at the memory, her hands pressed over her belly.

“Sounds like you got the unforgettable night you were gunning for.”

“You don’t get it, babe. Even as he was giving me the dicking down of my life, this guy—he was, like, quietly sweet and funny? I don’t know how to explain it. He could just… smile, and it would make me laugh, like, even when he was inside, and somehow that was still super hot, you know?”

Gwen burst out laughing.

“See!” said Marie, gesturing at her roommate as she exploded up from the bed.

“I see,” the blonde teased with a lingering grin.

“What?”

“Nothing, it’s just, you know who you sound like?”

“You.”

“Me.”

Marie sighed. “Shit, I know. You know the worst part?”

“What?”

“This guy asked me to stay after.”

“Oh…”

“I mean, it’s not the first time, but it’s the first time I considered staying. Ain’t that some shit? But what would be the point, right?”

“Yeah…” Gwen said slowly as she thought of her thick-lipped lover. Marie’s unexpected dilemma had been just what Gwen needed to forget the ache in her core and the bigger ache in her chest, but now, it was a mirror reflecting things back far too vividly.

“Shit, huh?”

“Yeah. Shit.”

“You know the only thing to do, right?”

“Don't you dare,” Gwen warned.

But Marie was already up and moving to the door. “We’re going to the pool, and I'm going to find another hot guy because hot guys are a dime a dozen in Miami, right? I'm going to cleanse the palate.”

“Yeah, that's not how that works.”

“Look, I've never thought a guy was husband material before, let alone a one-night stand, so what do you suggest I do, Ms. Ephron?”

Gwen scowled. “Don't ask me. I've been getting it wrong so long that I'm not even sure I could trust myself to know when it was right.”

“Okay then. For lack of absolutely any other plan, this is what we’re doing. Put your swimsuit on, gorgeous. Let’s see how much Vitamin D we can get.”

Gwen sighed, but the truth was Marie’s distraction did help her forget the feeling of being surrounded by the stranger she couldn’t shake, so she slipped into her bikini, fought hard not to open her gallery yet again, and decided to dive headfirst into something new like her friend suggested if only to prove to herself once and for all that she’d idealized everything about last night.

Marie joined her in the hallway decked out in her cutest Miami-approved string bikini, already smelling of sunscreen and Flowerbomb. “Let’s do this.”

The pair chatted about their day and where they might go for their last night in town, all while studiously avoiding the topic of last night. They padded through the extravagant lobby along with a sea of other swimsuit-ed guests, their flip-flops smacking across the marble like theme music, until they emerged into the blistering Florida sun.

The pool looked very different in the daylight. There was no trace of the stage or the bars, and there was certainly no body shot table left out. It was just an ocean of sun-bleached concrete thrusting straight up to the white sands of Miami Beach, broken only by an enormous aquamarine pool, dozens of lavish cabanas, and a manmade forest of towering palms.

“Wait,” said Gwen as she scouted the bustling crowd stretching all the way out to the blue sea beyond, “you want the pool or—”

“Oh my god!” shouted Marie as she squealed to a stop and slipped behind Gwen. “It's him!”

“Who? The guy from last night? Where?”

“There, right at the edge of the pool. The one who’s shaped like a yield sign telling me slow down and give in to him again and again and again…”

“Marie!” she shouted and whirled around to face her friend.

“Oh my god, Gwennie, you have to hold me back or I am going to do irreparable damage here. Shit, shit, shit! I can’t believe I’m the one saying this. Fuck. He's looking right at me now, and he's waving with that stupid cute teddy bear smile, fuck. What do I do! What do I do!”

Gwen grabbed her friend’s shoulders and shook her until Marie looked at her. “What do you want to do?”

“I want to go over there, and I want to talk to him, and I want to hear his whole entire life story and what he wants in a woman, and then I want to take him back to my hotel room and be that woman.”

“Oh, girl,” Gwen laughed, “I never want to hear advice from you about this ever again.”

“That’s fine, just please come with me. I don’t want to talk to him alone.”

“Who are you, and what did you do with Marie?”

The brunette grimaced as she squeezed Gwen’s hands. “I don’t know! Help me!”

“Okay, now, I need to see the guy who broke my friend.”

Gwen turned from Marie toward the pool in time to catch the man who’d unmade her roommate over the course of one night. He was every bit as hot as Marie had described, with a chiseled jaw and even more chiseled abs, and he was indeed shaped like a triangle, which could be appreciated even easier since he was only in swim trunks. His skin had been worshipped by the sun, and he was sparkling thanks to a fresh dip in the pool. He lowered his muscular arm to sweep his fingers back through his sopping wet hair, and somewhere beside her, her friend whimpered.

But the blonde could only spend a fraction of a second on everything else around her because beside Marie’s hunk now was the very man who had unmade Gwen last night.

Time stopped.

He, too, was fresh out of the pool, with a towel ringing his neck and shoulders as swollen droplets rained down from thick, haphazard locks. He was out of breath, his chest heaving from his swim and his pale lips hanging open as he gulped air, just as they had when he’d fucked her to the brink of insanity.

But his eyes were as steady as ever, and they were fixed firmly on Gwen.

“Should we go over?” asked Marie, but her friend couldn’t move.

Instead, the two men began to walk the long perimeter before the bronzed man cut out the inconvenience and hopped back in the pool to wade across. Gwen was pretty sure she’d never again see anything more life-altering than these two shirtless heartthrobs pressing determinedly through the water with the ripples surging around their matching narrow waists.

The pair climbed out in horrible, horrible unison, their wet thighs flexing in time with their arms as water rushed off in diamond falls, and it was all terribly loud in Gwen’s ears. It only amplified when her stranger smiled in his darling tight-lipped way.

They padded across the concrete to the little swath of grass under a palm where the two ladies had been paralyzed.

“Hi, hello,” said the deep-voiced bronzed man. “It’s nice to see you again, Marie.”

“Hey, Hyunwoo,” she replied. Maybe it would sound casual to the strangers, but Gwen didn’t miss the uncharacteristic tremble in her friend’s voice.

“Good day for a swim,” he observed as he glanced up at the sun through the palm fronds and rubbed the back of his neck. “You planning on the pool or the ocean?”

“We hadn’t decided.”

“Ah, is this your friend you told me about?”

Marie nodded and took the chance to cling to her roommate’s hand, and with that, gained some strength. “Oh, yeah, this is Gwen. Gwen, this is Hyunwoo.”

Gwen felt the sharp squeeze at her hand, which was the only thing that made her realize she’d been staring unceasingly at her own pretty boy. She whipped her attention to Hyunwoo to smile and wave, but she could feel the burn of the other man’s eyes until she felt more naked than she had in his bed. She didn’t dare look back.

“Nice to meet you,” Hyunwoo said with that teddy bear smile, as Marie had called it. He turned toward his shirtless friend and added, “This is—”

“Hey!” came an exuberant call from across the pool in one of the loudest voices Gwen had ever heard. There stood yet another handsome man with hair dyed honey blond and chipper eyes waving at them with both arms like a used car lot inflatable. “Hey! Ask them if they want to join us.”

“Minhyuk,” scoffed the remaining stranger with a roll of his eyes, but Hyunwoo shrugged his mouth.

“What do you say, ladies? We have a cabana over there. Lunch is on its way, and we ordered lots.”

Marie giggled nervously and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Yeah, I remember how much you said you like eating. I mean, if it’s cool with everybody…”

The brunette looked desperately at Gwen and squeezed her hand tighter than ever, and all eyes looked to the blonde.

“Sure, that’s cool,” said Gwen though she was anything but.

She was burning under the sun though it was nothing to the way she burned under the magnifying glass of cruel fate. Here, before the gentle gaze of the man she had forced herself to walk away from, everything came into calamitous focus.

His laugh, his easiness, his openness, his beauty. Their chemistry, their connection, their compatibility, their flaws.

Maybe Gwen had been a fool in love an embarrassing number of times, but she realized now that maybe all those mistakes had served a purpose. She could see clearly for the first time what all those men had lacked, and she’d be a much bigger fool to turn back a second time from something that felt undeniably different.

“You coming?” Marie called, and only then did Gwen realize Hyunwoo and her friend were already on their way to the cabana.

Beside her, her shot glass waited, smiling as he always seemed to be in her presence with that delicious bellybutton still glistening though this time it was from lingering pool water.

“Didn’t think I’d be lucky enough to ever see you again,” he said.

“We’re really bad at this, aren’t we?” Gwen laughed awkwardly as she took the lead and followed her friend.

With his long legs, he caught up in a single stride, and together, they walked the long perimeter of the pool without any complaint.

“Bad at what?” he asked.

“Keeping promises to our friends.”

“Nah. Maybe it was just a dumb promise to make in the first place. And anyway,” he said, looking at her keenly over a bare shoulder, “aren’t you the one who told me no itineraries?”

“Oh yeah,” she said with a red-cheeked chuckle.

I go where my heart leads…

“I take it Hyunwoo’s a part of the bachelor party?” Gwen said.

“Yup. There’s eight of us, including the groom and his brother. You’ll like them, just hopefully not as much as you like me.”

She cocked an eyebrow at him. “And who says I like you?”

“I do. At least, I hope you do. Or maybe I’m just trying to manifest it.”

Gwen smiled shyly and nodded. “You’re right. I do.”

“Kind of funny how this worked out, huh? Your friend and my friend meeting up. Kind of feels like…”

“Blind dumb luck?”

“Destiny.” He studied her for a moment and then returned his eyes to the path around the pool. “I was going to say destiny.”

Her heart was beating out of her chest again, but this time, there was no scolding voice inside her head to temper it.

“You’re still cute,” she blurted.

“And you’re still driving me crazy.” His eyes roved over her skimpily clad figure, and he pressed his lips together. “So… Gwen, huh? That’s a beautiful name. It suits you.”

She was not prepared for the way it would feel to hear her name from his exquisite lips.

The front of her flip-flop rolled, and she stumbled forward with a cry and a flail before he grabbed her wrist and pulled her into his arms.

“I’ve got you,” he assured. He stared down at her fondly as she sheltered in the shade of his wide shoulders. Slowly, a smirk crept onto his lips. “Last time, you said it was the heels and you were a sandals girl. What’s your excuse today?”

“I’m clumsy, okay.”

“For everyone or just for me?” he teased. He leaned down, his lips to her hair, and added, “It’s okay if you say just for me. I’m kind of hoping for it.”

Gwen looked up into those brown eyes. The night had brought out their smoky depths, but the day brought out their playful hickory dimensions. So, too, had the merciless sun illuminated the finest spray of freckles dappling his cheek to puffy cheek, to devastating consequence.

“Maybe I’d admit it if I even knew who you were,” she said.

He stopped, and she stopped, too. Gwen looked at him with nervous eyes and an even more skittish heart.

She could forgive herself for all her stupid mistakes if it meant she could just get it right this one time…

Please. Just this once…

He lifted his head, caught her gaze, and closed the gap between them with one big step.

“In that case…”

Slowly, he bent down as his large hands gripped her cheeks, and just as his lips grazed hers gentler than the sea breeze, he spoke.

“So nice to finally meet you, Gwen. I’m Hyungwon.”

A/N: I know, I know. The muse obviously tried to turn this into a whole rom-com novel, but instead, I remained resolute to close this on the whimsical romantic open ending I originally intended. It got too out-of-hand as it was, if you couldn’t tell lol, so let your own romantic hearts take it from here, loves. <3 Thanks for reading!

#monsta x smut #hyungwon smut #oneshot #third person #oc

79 notes · View notes

jessicas-pi · 1 year ago

Text

I Am A Little Addicted To The Incorrect Quote Maker.

Anyway. Twin Blades And Beskar (Lifeswap) AU?

Inquisitor: Well, aren’t you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you’re out to save the galaxy! Kanan: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment. Sabine: More or less, I guess... Ahsoka: That sounds awesome! Let’s do that! Ezra: I’m new here, but I am open to the concept. Hera: I thought that’s what we were doing, guys, come on!

---

Sabine: My aesthetic is "would be suspected of witchcraft by small town citizens."

---

Ahsoka: Throw lamps at people who need to lighten up, and throw handles at someone who needs to get a grip. Kanan: Throw a refrigerator at someone who needs to chill. Sabine: Throw scissors at someone who needs to cut it out! Hera: Throw a clock at someone who needs to get with the times! Okadiah: Throw matches at someone who needs to get fired up! Ezra: Throw a brick at someone to kill them!

---

Ahsoka, making coffee: This is going to fix everything.

---

Sabine: Rules were made to be broken. Kanan: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken. Ahsoka: Uh, piñatas. Chopper: Glow sticks. Ezra: Karate boards. Hera: Spaghetti when you have a small pot. Sabine: Rules. Kanan:

---

Ezra: I hope no one lowkey hates me. Ezra: Highkey hate me. Hate me with every fiber of your being. Ezra: Go big or go home.

---

Chopper: Drink your school, stay in sleep, don't do milk, and get 8 hours of drugs.

---

Hera: Just be yourself. Sabine: Really? Hera, I have one day to win over Ezra’s clan! Sabine: How long did it take for you guys to like me? Okadiah: Couple of weeks. Kanan: Six months. Chopper: Jury’s still out. Sabine: See Hera? ‘Just be yourself,’ what kind of garbage advice is that?!

---

Okadiah: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life. Ahsoka: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back… Hera: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this. Ezra: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years. Kanan: I knew I lost that potential somewhere. Sabine: Mental stability, my old friend! Okadiah: Force, could you lighten up a little?

---

Ezra: Of course I have a lot of pent-up rage, you fool! I've been the same height since I was twelve!

---

Okadiah: If you got arrested what would be the charges? Ahsoka: Theft. Hera: Disturbing the peace. Kanan: Aggravated assault. Sabine: Arson. Ezra: All of the above. In that order, probably.

---

Ezra: So, what’s Sabine's type? Kanan: Awkward, overprotective, oblivious, terrible sense of humor, Mandalorian. Ezra: Sounds kind of like me. Too bad she loathes me. Kanan: Did I mention oblivious? Ezra: Yeah, why? Kanan: Just making sure.

---

Sabine: If I die, you can have what little I own. Ezra: Wait. What do you mean "if" you die? Sabine: My unending existence is fueled by pure spite, that of which the painful experiences of life have rendered me full. Ezra: Ezra: *Sighs* You need a therapist.

---

Chopper: All of your existences are confusing. The Spectres: How so? Chopper: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me.

---

Kanan: If you put 'violently' in front of anything to describe your action, it becomes funnier. Kanan: Violently pilots. Hera: Violently lightsaber trains. Ahsoka: Violently sleeps. Ezra: Violently murders people. Okadiah: Violently worries about the previous statement.

---

Sabine: Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices. Sabine: Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.

---

*The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one* Hera: I will not let you down. Ahsoka: Sounds fun. Kanan: K. Sabine: Like kriff I am. Okadiah: Do I have to be? Ezra: Please manda I am so tired

---

*after a perilous life-or-death escape/rescue* Sabine: Oh, gods, I could just kiss you right now. Ezra: ... Ezra: Neat. *later* Ezra, lying face down on his bunk: I said "Neat," Kanan. Who says neat? It's not neat to say neat but I said it anyways because I'm kriffing stupid. Kanan, reading a book: Don't beat yourself up too much, kid. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Did Oke ever tell you what I did when Hera confessed her love for me? Ezra: Didn't you thank her? Kanan: *closes the book and looks at the ceiling* I thanked her.

---

Kanan: I have met some of the most insufferable people. But they also met me.

---

Ezra: Capitalizing every word in a sentence is vomit inducing. Sabine: Enjoy Your Trip To Puke Land, Boy!

---

Hera: I think my guardian angel drinks.

---

Ezra: The only thing I'm guilty of is being adorable... ...and also assault with a deadly weapon.

---

Sabine, at the slightest provocation: I came into this galaxy screaming and covered in someone else's blood and I'm not afraid to leave the same way.

#twin blades and beskar au #sabezra #incorrect quotes #jedi sabine wren #mandalorian ezra bridger #i am going to be so insufferable with this incorrect quote thing you have no idea

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theswaggyrat · 2 years ago

Text

Knotted Strings

Joel Miller x F! Reader // The Last Of Us cw ~ spoilers // angst // comfort // unedited tw ~ vulgar language // mentions of death plot - he was angry with you. then you were angry with him, and he was not good at communication.

Ellie grasped your hand in hers as you entered the town in which Bill lived. You had fumbled earlier, mumbling something about forgetting where he set his traps. It had been years since your last visit, and albeit Joel was generous enough to guide you around each trap, the nausea in your gut had not left.

You could see the ache in Joel's shoulders with every step, the crinkle in his eyes at the doubt coursing through his veins. There had been nothing the two of you could do when Tess got bit; and maybe that was the cause of the ill in your stomach. Yet it was so recent, you could hardly believe Joel was still pushing through. His loyalty for the woman went farther than you believed his hardened heart could ever go.

Ellie's fingers were soft from her time hiding with the Fireflies. Ellie's soul was soft from her time with the Fireflies. Joel, in a state of anger and grief, directed all of his newfound emotions upon the girl. You shunned him fairly quickly, to which he waved you off with a scoff and the usual shake of his head. The reaction was normal — you knew he wasn't to blame — but the girl was simply trying her best to live alongside them. She wasn't to blame either.

And acknowledging that fueled Joel's anger.

At first, you had presumed any anger Joel had towards you would soon vanish — you thought he was upset that you felt differently than him. Unfortunately, each misplaced step and stumble you made riled him up enough to curse you out multiple times. It was confusing before, but now infuriating as you recovered from almost tripping over a small rock.

"That could've gotten us killed," he hissed, gripping the handle of his gun tight enough to strain his fingers. "How many times do I gotta tell you, woman? Watch your step."

"Watch your tone," you grumbled, clenching your jaw as you pressed forth. From beside you, Ellie quieted, kicking at loose pebbles in the ground. They skittered off and cracked into pieces.

Joel grit his teeth together, slowing his walk and turning around to face you. "Am I the only one who wants to get us there alive?" He asked, eyes alit with spite, "or are you going to put on your big girl pants and help?"

Your fingers fell from Ellie's and you cocked your head at the man, completely and utterly disgusted by the word's that had fallen from his lips. "Excuse me?" A laugh erupted from your throat, echoing throughout the surrounding alleyways. "And who the fuck gave you the right to talk to me that way? You don't think I'm trying my hardest to get us to safety?" You questioned. Being beneath his hardened gaze left you uneasy. "It isn't our fault Tess-"

"Yo!" Ellie interrupted, "can we, um, pick this up later?" Her voice fell meek as angered eyes darted to

her figure. If not for her, you might have been doomed. A chorus of mangled screams sounded from a few miles behind. "You guys can argue like kids after, when we're alive."

Joel's eyes flit to you once more before he grunted and turned back around. "Let's go."

Finally, a down moment came where you could rest your head and soothe your uneased nerves. Ellie was peering into her bag at a stack of comics she must've stolen from Bill. On the other hand, Joel was discussing their problem with Bill. You wondered if he said anything about Tess's death.

Bill was not thrilled to lead you on this quest for a car battery, and was more so reluctant to allow you into his home — or base, whatever he wanted to call it.

Eventually, Joel shuffled away from Bill, hands stuffed into his jean pockets.

"We go now. We're going deep into town, so don't do anything careless," Bill stated bitterly. "And then you leave and you do not touch any of my things." His eyes drifted toward Ellie with his last statement, who huffed and jumped to her feet.

"Yeah, yeah. Got it."

Bill folded his arms over his armored chest and turned away. "Good."

You pressed your palms into the cool pavement and stood up. Wind hollered through the cracks in the old base, its whistle sending chills up your spine. Joel clenched his jaw before ambling over to you as you dusted yourself off. He took a glimpse at Bill and Ellie; the girl was off in the corner, toying with Bill's equipment, whilst the man himself was grumbling something furious about them as if they couldn't hear him.

"You good?" Joel asked, his voice quiet against the wind. You shrugged your shoulders, averting your eyes off to some pile of hoarded junk. His lips parted to sigh and the man grumbled, "come on, y/n. Don't be like this."

"Oh," you spoke, "so I don't get to be like this. But you can." Your soles scraped against the ground as you shifted a step away from Joel. "I don't get what your problem is. I know you've got an attitude-"

"y/n," he warned.

"-but something's up," you whispered, taking a more subtle approach to the issue as to not rile him. "If it's Tess, you've got to let it go. But if it's something else, please just tell me."

Your beg struck something inside Joel, his mouth twitching down painfully. His tattered plaid shirt reflected the dampened look in his iridescent orbs. Joel's eyebrows synched curtly, but then his eyes softened. "We can't talk about it here." Your eyes found his in a peaceful gaze. "We can't."

You nodded accordingly before responding, "then let's talk about it somewhere else."

Joel sat on an old musty couch, colored a dusty navy blue. It's furnishing had been scraped and ripped apart from it's days of abandonment. He patted the space beside him, to which you reluctantly accepted and plopped down. A loose spring popped up by your side, aiding you with assurance of a fortunate fortune.

"Do you..." Joel drawled, fixing his hands atop his lap. They were calloused with the work of time, bruised and beaten. The man searched for his next words expectantly, as if they'd just appear out of thin air. He was no good at communication, but he did not want to lose you. Not like he lost Sarah; not like Tess; and certainly not like Tommy.

"Joel," you called. His eyes darted to your own, a plea hidden within those entrancing orbs. "No one is judging you. It's me — you know me. Just say it."

He did know you.

"D'ya ever get scared you'll lose someone? So much so that you might else well be losing them anyway?" He murmered. It's meaning was slow at first, but eventually realization smacked you stark in the face. Joel noticed in the way your cheekbones sunk that you had gotten the message. He swallowed thickly.

Your hands found his in a silent connection. "I think 's just you," you teased quietly, "you suck at communication." The man grunted something rough before turning away from you, earning him your bubbly laugh.

"I get it." The pad of your thumb brushed against his chafed knuckles and you squeezed. "Unfortunately, I don't plan on going anywhere," you whispered solemnly. Joel returned his gaze, his lips crinkling up into a small smile.

"You gotta swear it."

"Oh, come on, Joel."

He offered you a pointed look. "Do it."

The couch squeaked as your weight shifted above it. "I swear it, Joel! I swear it."

Those soft orbs of his came circling back, encasing you within it's trance; telling you, "I love you", and you received the message well enough.

"Mmh, I get it," you sighed, "now you best get up and get to it before your puppy eyes start something you won't be able to stop."

He chuckled briefly and gave your shoulder a harsh pat. "Next time."

#joel #joel miller #ellie #ellie williams #tlou #comfort #angst #fluff #joel x reader #romance #fanfic #fanfiction #joel miller x reader

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lunamochii · 2 years ago

Text

I’m here for you || Lo’ak x omatikaya!fem reader

content warning; Lo’ak is 20 and reader is 26, fluff, a little bit of angst. Y/N being a knucklehead, slowburn romance, a rush ending(?), wrong spellings and incorrect grammar.

a/n; this was stuck on my brain for days trying, took me days to finish and now finally it is! Might do a part 2 if I get good feedbacks, like real feedbacks🥹 please tell me what are your thoughts on this and how you guys felt. Like, did I manage to tug on some nerve? Hahaha please let me know!

Synopsis •

+ You’re mate got killed during the hunt, strike by a bullet straight to his heart. You were left devastated, feeling all alone in this world however Lo’ak, who have been admiring you from a far decided to let his presence be known.

4.5k words

part 2

—

“Please great mother, not Atrice!”

Your mate cough blood once more making you cry out as you hug his body close to you. He reach out his hand and cup your cheeks making you look at him

“My love, I will always love you. Although this is our goodbye, let’s meet each other again in different life”

“No… don’t! Please Atrice!”

He only smiled before he slowly close his eyes and you can feel the heat of his body fading, his hand slump down and all you could do is cry out. Filled with anger, you laid him down and grab your bow as you called for your ikran, flying high through the sky, you joined the party and killed many sky people. Avenging the death of your lover.

one year later

It is said once a na’vi loses it’s mate, they will also start to lose their self. You’re showing the sign of it.

“Perhaps you should refrain from getting close to the enemy.”

You turned around to face the clan leader and you only gave him a blank expression. You did try your best to show an emotion but failed miserably.

“How will I know if they are dead? It’s better than to be sorry”

With that you left and Jake just let out a sigh, he fully understands you. If Neytiri also dies infront of him, he wouldn’t know what to do. He watch your disappearing figure before turning to gather the warriors, in a short time you have become one of the strongest warriors in the clan. Proving yourself, you always fly next to the olo’eyktan to aid if something ever comes up.

——

Today, the clan plan to ambush the vehicle that is carrying the supplies. You stared at the bow you always use, the bow that belongs to your mate. Something ignite in you once again as you grab it along with the arrows and walk out from your hut to join the others.

“I want this operation to be fast. Make sure everyone of you comes back in one piece.”

Gripping the bow hard as you cheered with the clan, you were about to ride your ikran when you felt a hand touch your shoulder. Looking at your side, you saw Neytiri looking at you soft eyes.

“Your wounds hasn’t healed up yet. I suggest you must not go with us.”

You huff before answering

“Nonsense. This wounds is my reminder that these demons still exist and needs to be killed.”

“But—“

“Yah!”

You ignored her words and flew away, Neytiri turned to to her younger son and held him tight on the shoulder.

“Son, you know what to do”

Lo’ak nodded and immediately mounted his ikran, flying away to catch up with you. With the lead of Jake, all the omatikaya decided to start attacking. Flying above them as you strike each to their doom. You cheered when the vehicle blew up as you fly down to strike those sky people that is on the ground.

Jumping down you rolled and immediately got up and stretch your bow, killing everything that doesn’t belong to your clan. Everything that doesn’t belong in Pandora. Wounds opening up again, you hiss when a bullet graze your arm and when you were about to shot. Another bullet came and it hit your knee, you let out a cry even at your state you tried to strike but your consciousness is slipping away.

“Y/N!!!”

Lo’ak came in time and shot the man who was holding a gun and is pointing at you. He ran to where you are and notice that you’re breathing is slow. He click his tongue before carrying you over his shoulder and rode with his ikran. Jake instructed them to fall back as everyone from the clan starts to fly back to their home.

“Shit shit! Hang in there!”

Jumping down from his ikran with you in his arms, he ran to where his grandmother is. Mo’at saw your injured body and quickly help Lo’ak on laying down. Each time the tsahik put herbs on your wound or apply some ointment, you wince in pain.

“Help me turn her around”

Lo’ak nodded and carefully lay you on your side. Unexpectedly, you grasp on his hand when Mo’at cleaned your wound. He held your hand and wish for this to be over soon. After some minutes, the older woman is done and let you rest inside her tent.

“Watch over her. Make sure she doesn’t move or her wounds will open up again.”

He stared at you and push back some strands of your hair back on your ear, he trailed his fingers down to your face then quickly pulled away, sighing to himself.

“What are you doing Lo’ak…”

He ask towards his self. It’s still clear from his memories how he watch you mourn for your mate. He witnessed you smile so sweet towards him, how your always clinging to him. The both of you are admired in the clan for being the most skilled warriors. But now, you are slowly losing yourself.

He hates it. The way how you basically throw yourself on to the enemy. How you always comes back injured, he doesn’t remember a day ever since you lost your mate that you come back without a scratch.

“Where am I?…”

“Y/N! How are you? Grandmother said you shouldn’t get up yet.”

You tilt your head on the side a young man squat on the side. You recognize him, his the son of the olo’eyktan. The second youngest Sully.

“I am fine. I prefer resting on my own hammock.”

Lo’ak’s jaw clench as he glared at you

“It’s the tsahik’s words.”

You glared at him back and almost hiss at him but you rather not. Not wanting to be on the bad side of the Sully family.

“Then I wish to rest alo—“

“No, she also said that I look after you.”

You let out a loud sigh and turn your back at him. Maybe the words about being so stubborn is true, always giving his family a hard time in every chance he got

You let yourself drift off to sleep again thinking that by the time you’ll wake up his gone. BUT NO, his still there. Arms crossed on his chest, his head bobbing up and down as he tries to stay in position. You slowly got up and walk away from the hut not batting an eye back to Lo’ak’s sleeping figure.

——

Morning came and there’s no hunt for today. Deciding to stay in the forest until eclipse you brought foods with you, your bow on your back. You walk out from your hut and saw Lo’ak. Immediately your brows furrowed.

“Why did you leave? Where are you going? Your wounds aren’t that healed up yet.”

One thing you hate is when other people sticks their noses into other people’s business. You stood infront of him, head held up high as you scowl at him.

“The fuck you care?”

Lo’ak was hurt by your words but he didn’t show it but instead he grab at your arm and you didn’t hold back and pulled it away, hissing at him.

“Kalweyaveng! Who are you anyway?!”

You scream earning some stare from the other people, you huff and called your ikran.

“Y/N!!”

Lo’ak called out but you didn’t abide by his words and with a groan he also called his ikran. He followed you and notice that you’re going to the same spot, your spot with Atrice. He silently curse himself for being an idiot on following you. But what can he do? He doesn’t want to see you hurt anymore. Even if it makes you despise him.

You land your ikran and got down, stroking it’s head you feed it with a meat of the fish you brought with you.

“I will call for you again, Lika”

Your ikran let out a soft growl before flying away, you walk deeper and when the river showed it self before you. Dropping all your items you decided to dipped yourself. When you got up to catch some air, you notice a pair of eyes staring at you, mentally rolling your eyes. You swam towards the other part and decided to sit down and let your feet be the only thing dip on to the water.

“Why do you follow me? Did I not make my self clear?”

Lo’ak flinch. Ofcourse you know, he sighs before coming out and your already staring at his eyes. He didn’t know where to look so he settled down to look at the things you brought with you, scattered on the ground.

“Your wounds…”

“What about it?”

You replied and Lo’ak gulp before answering again

“It would be bad if you get attack and your wounds opens up again causing for you to pass out.”

You click your tongue and averted your gaze at the fish that is swimming by the river

“Nonsense. I can handle my self.”

Lo’ak’s brow twitch, he knows damn well you don’t. He looked at you and was abou to scold you but hearing the words you uttered next made him froze

“If I can’t handle my self then that means I’m showing the weak side of me.”

His fist clench tight. He wants to comfort you. Hug you. Let you know that his here. You notice that his awfully silent and you look up, you saw how he look at you. It made you remember about Atrice, he also used to look at you with that expression.

“Stop looking at me like that.”

He blink before deciding to sit down, the both of you sat in silence. The small stream and the noise it makes is the only you can hear. This place used to be your hangout spot. Atrice and you would look at the fish and tries to name them, remembering how silly you are it made you laugh and Lo’ak didn’t miss that.

He glance at you and he finally saw you smile but it was only for a second. Although it is already engraved on his mind.

“I’m sorry for my words today. I just don’t like people not respecting my personal space.”

Lo’ak shook his head and decided to dip his hands on the water, the fish immediately gathered and the man before you chuckled

“It’s okay Y/N. I’m only worried about you..”

You raise your eyebrow at him and decided to go to him. You swam towards him making the fish that is gathering on his hand swim away. You look up at him.

“Why are you worried about me?”

Your close. He can feel his legs touching your upper body, he gulp hard before looking away.

“Why not? I don’t want one of our best warriors to get injured and not be useful..”

WYou merely scoff at what he said and motion to move aside as you get yourself off from the water. Standing beside him, you squeeze the water out of your hair and turned to look at him

“Scars are nothing.” You said and Lo’ak sigh and got up, you notice that his taller than you but that didn’t let you take a step back

“Just try not to comeback injured always. It also helps my grandmother to stop worrying about you, she said you’re always the hard one to treat.”

You rolled your eyes and push him down on the river, when he swam back up he glared at you. Making you chuckle softly

“What was that for?! Can’t I get a thanks?!”

“You’re such a skxawng!”

You walk over to your things and grab the fruits, when you walk back to where you were standing. He already got out and is rambling how his all wet now.

“You’re like a baby.”

“Well if not for someone to push me on to the water.”

You smirk at him and handed the fruit, he look at you then to fruit and back to you again

“My peace offering. I said mean things to you and I didn’t even thank you for taking care of me.”

Is this the start of your friendship with him? He hopes so. He also hope this will turn into something more. The two of you sat by the river and just talk about random things. Lo’ak kept on stealing looks from you and everytime you smile, he carves it at the back of his mind. Today will be forever on his mind, you close to him. Him close to you.

“Does this mean I can enter your personal space?”

He ask and you gave it a thought

“Yeah, friends?”

You offered a hand and Lo’ak grin

“Hell yeah!”

He successfully entered your life now, your personal space. You have let him in, thinking it’s not so bad to have someone to talk to.

——

five months later

You ask Jake where is Lo’ak since you always see him causing trouble during the hunt but today the hunt went so smooth that you almost thought, Eywa must have taken some sides.

Hearing from Jake that Lo’ak was task to stay back at home and help his grandmother it made you sneered, you can’t imagine the young man grinding herbs. Lo’ak is way too energetic, too thick headed. You sometimes mistake him as Angtsík.

The war party decided to go back before eclipse, Neytiri fly beside you and told you how she’s happy that you aren’t that injured. Just a few grazes here and there. After some time you arrived back and landed your ikran. Jake dismissed you right away to have your wounds treated, you decided to go to Kiri.

You have gotten close to the Sully siblings, especially Tuk. You sometimes take her for a ride, ofcourse with the permission to Neytiri. You took a peek inside Kiri’s hut and saw she’s just finishing on patching someone’s wound so you decided to wait outside.

“Y/n? Is Kiri busy?”

You look at your side and Neteyam, he seems injured. More injured than you. You were about to reply when the person from inside got out and you look at Neteyam

“Get your self treated first. I will just go find another person.”

Before he can even reply you walk away, maybe you can patch yourself up. Deciding on that, you walk back to your tent and immediately grab the kit and started to treat yourself, tail swishing softly, your ears lay flat as you let out wince.

“You suck at treating yourself, y’know?”

Hearing that familiar voice, you look back and raise your eyebrow at him.

“Then patch me up? Make yourself useful.”

Lo’ak laugh at your words and immediately went to your side as he snatch away the kit from you. For a warrior like him, he has the talent for healing.

“You should become a healer..”

“Ha-ha-ha very funny”

You huff and slap his hand away when he suddenly press hard on the wound in your arm

“That hurt!” You said only to get a grin from him as a reply

“Such a baby”

He said and you let him continue his work, silence sit between you and him. Lo’ak can already hear his heartbeat and can only hope that you don’t.

“Aight! Done!””

You let out a sigh and stood up. You’ve already planned to go to the tree of souls today. Wanting to meet Atrice, you felt Lo’ak’s gaze so you turn to look at him.

“I’m going to Tree of Souls.”

“I just patch you up, it is best you rest for now.”

You shook your head

“No. I promise Atrice that I will visit him today”

Lo’ak can only watch you walk out and he was left there, it was only a fleeting moment but the time you guys shared, he will forever treasure it. He let you go this time, respecting your wishes.

——

You arrive at the tree of souls, taking in the fresh air you exhaled and sat down. Grabbing two roots you connected your queue and when you opened your eyes again, greeted by a flashing light. A hand touch your arm, it felt warm and you knew right away who it is

“Atrice!”

“Hello my love, you look beautiful”

Lips curve into a smile as you engulf him to a embrace. You led him closer to the river, both of you sat down and your head is resting on his shoulder.

“I notice your wounds, have you been hard to yourself?”

“I’m a warrior my love, it is my duty to do my job. That’s why it’s natural for me to get this wounds.”

You felt him shift and now you are facing him, his hands cupping your cheeks as he kiss your forehead.

“Take care of yourself. I wouldn’t want my mate to be coming back to me covered with blood”

You smiled bitterly and lean on to kiss him on the lips. It lasted to you for eternity but you were stopped when he pulled back and embrace you.

“Be happy, ma Y/N”

“Atrice?”

He smiled, wiping the tears that is streaming down from your eyes.

“I want you to be happy.”

You were about to protest when you were engulf by a light and when you came back, you saw Neytiri holding you on the shoulder. Her eyes full of emotions that is hard to describe.

She motion you to follow so you did, you immediately saw Jake along with Neteyam and Lo’ak. All of them look mad.

“What happened?”

Jake whipped his head towards your direction, he immediately put his hands over your shoulders.

“Kiri and Tuk are kidnapped. I know you might be thinking that we can do this but no… we need you. I want you to go with Neteyam and do some scout. Find where they are and make sure to report.”

Lo’ak is heavily against this and he tried to reason to his father but it didn’t work. He look at you and your eyes is full of determination. In an instant you called for your ikran

“I want to go with them dad!”

“No! You will stay with us.”

Jake said sternly and you called the attention of Lo’ak and smiled at him

“I’ll be back”

Lo’ak bit his lower lip and look away, how much more does he need to do just to prove to his father that he can also be useful?! He watch your figure disappear through the clouds together with his brother.

“Oh Eywa, please keep her safe.”

——

“Yip!”

Neteyam signaled you that you guys will be flying behind one of the rocks, your eyes caught the glimpse of the ship controlled by the sky people. You cock your head to the side and the both of you landed on one of the rocks.

“Should we call this in?“ Neteyam ask

“No, let’s get more closer.”

“But Y/N, dad said not to—“

You shook your head and told your ikran to fly again but this time you went higher. Flapping it’s wings and steadying, you grip your knife that is place on your hips. This was a bad idea to agree on this task witho V your bow. You heard Neteyam’s ikran behind your back so you extended your hand to tell him that you are landing on the rock, just above where the ship is at.

“Y/N! Let’s call this in.”

His words are firm and you nodded, you eyed the ship and notice a familiar symbol. It’s the same ship that killed your mate. You felt your blood boil. Neteyam was quick to notice the change of your expression. He looked down and curse himself when he also notice the symbol.

“Whatever you are thinking don’t do it.”

“Hah!”

You let out a frustated sigh and when Neteyam is done the both of you fly back to the camp. With your sour mood you ignored the people asking you questions.

Lo’ak saw you and approached you, he tap your shoulders but you shook him off.

“Please leave me be.”

“Bro don’t. She’s upset.”

Neteyam held his brother back and that stopped you from walking, you turned around and face the older Sully

“There was only three of them! We could have attack and take them down!”

Neteyam shake his head

“Three? Those three can easily kill you, Y/N. Our task was just to do some scout, we aren’t even sure if Kiri and Tuk is there.”

“Clues might be there… just say that you are a cowa—“

“My brother is right. They could have killed you easily. What’s up with you? Why do you always throw yourself to every danger you see? His not a coward his just worried for you. WE ARE ALL WORRIED FOR YOU! Atrice died but it doesn’t mean you will also kill yourself!! What about the people that are doing their best to keep you out from danger? What about ME who is constantly worried if you are gonna comeback injured or worse!”

Lo’ak finally catch his breath and look straight into your eyes. He saw you waver for a moment then the stern look you had is back again. He watch you walk away not bothering to answer and he rub his forehead.

“You’re madly inlove, bro..”

Neteyam pat the head of his younger brother, he salute his brother for being the most understanding man he is towards you. He just hopes that everything goes well. Two knuckleheads is quite a challenge.

——

No one saw you after the quarrel you had with Lo’ak. Everyone was wondering already on what happened, have you finally go nuts and charge on your own.

Today, Jake is planning to attack the sky people to get his daughters back. With or without you his gonna do this. Except you showed up, FINALLY, but your complexion looks off.

“I can’t let you go on this state.”

You shake your head and Jake let out a frustated sigh

“For fucks sake Y/N! Stay put because if you go, you’ll be just a burden!”

Blinking twice, you felt your chest tightened. Lips form a thin line, head hang low as you uttered a soft ‘okay’ and quickly ran away.

Jake slam his hand on the table, he might worded it wrong, he knows how close you have gotten with Kiri and Tuk. He look at his younger son and Lo’ak just nodded and went after you.

He found you sitting on a top of a tree, your tail hang low while swaying back and forth. You were hugging your knees, face buried on your folded knees.

“You know dad didn’t mean it on a bad way..”

He said and you just hum, sighing he sat down beside you and pat your shoulders.

“He might be harsh but he means well”

“I know… ugh, I don’t know what is happening to me…”

You said while wiping the tears away and you’re head is laying now on your arms. Eyes staring at the sun.

“You know… I pondered over your words and you’re right. I should not have neglected the people that just wants to keep me out from danger. All this time I thought that if I do all these things, it will keep the clan safe..”

“Yes you are keeping the clan safe but Y/N..”

He reach out to touch your cheeks and you let him. His warm palm settled on your cheek and caress your face

“At the process you are slowly killing yourself. I know losing someone you love is hard but we are here for you…”

He lingered and you turn to look at him, raising your head but his hand is still on your face

“I am here for you”

He spoke with so much sincerity, his words makes you feel safe. Moving your hands away from your knees as you use it for support and lean towards him. Your breath fanning over his face, Lo’ak look at you with half lidded eyes and the both of you and close the gap. Your soft lips met his as he let out a sigh on between kisses. You moved away and once again your body heat up

“Atrice he… he said that he wants me to be happy. Lo’ak I��“

Your vision black out and your body went limp as you crash to his chest. He quickly got a hold of you.

“Y/N? Y/N! Shit, you’re burning!!”

He carried you back and notice that the camp is practically empty, with a very few na’vi left. He decided to bring you over to his hammock. He laid you down and decided to hug your shivering body. He learned from his dad that when a person is cold, all you have to do is to be close and make sure your warmth is being transferred to them. He just hope he wakes up with you in his arms and for his sisters to be back. As much he wants to join, he just can’t leave you.

——

It’s been months now ever since that day. Kiri and Tuk is finally back, thank Eywa the fight wasn’t that big as the sky people who kidnapped them run away. As they should.

Time to time you still visit Atrice except you have a company now. Lo’ak trailing behind you as he wants to go with you. Holding his hand, you smiled at him and the both of you connected your queue to the tree of souls.

“About time!”

Atrice exclaimed seeing your hand intertwined with Lo’ak.

“Atrice!”

Both men laugh at your reaction and Lo’ak let you hug Atrice, he smiled seeing how happy you are. You have shared with him that you have told Atrice about you guys. Your ex-mate, that made the young sully laugh at the back of his skull. Back on the topic, Atrice was happy for the both of you and even threatened Lo’ak that he will beat him up on his dreams if he ever hurts you.

“Now, I know you guys must be on a date. I wouldn’t want to get on the way..”

You and Lo’ak laugh and bid your goodbyes to Atrice. When you disconnected your queues, you felt him held your hand tight. He is still courting you, it will take some time to answer him but Lo’ak made sure to let you understand that he will wait. No matter how long it takes.

“I see you, Y/N.”

“I see you… Lo’ak.”

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mirror-to-the-past · 1 year ago

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Hi. Boom. Here's long assorted sleep deprived thoughts I'm gonna be face palming at later about my current KH3 impressions.

Finished Olympus, Corona, now I'm on Toy Box.

PUNTING DONALD INTO ORBIT. And low key, Goofy, too. Like, on one hand, they're just Some Guys and also cartoon characters that make me giggle every cutscene they're in and they just try to lighten the mood or whatever. On the other hand, narratively, NOBODY is getting off Sora's case oh my god. Like, they've teased him before but it feels much more frequent and pointed this game towards the things Sora is insecure about. "Haha, you know Sora, our forgetful, stupid, careless, rash, powerless, weak, codependent idiot! We love him. <3" (exaggerated for comedy but they really don't stop with the punches and it's so uncalled for lol) And he either takes it or lightly goes "hey..." half the time. Donald keeps talking shit, Goofy just lets it happen and whenever there's actually disputes where Sora sasses back a 'lil then he steps in and it gives off vibes of "now don't make your mother angry." They're questionable guardian figures. Rehoming Sora to Supportive Dad Mickey Mouse real quick out of saltiness. That said, Goofy kind of laying a steadying hand on Sora on the Trinity Sled and when he was upset about Eugene's "death" in Corona is sweet.

The face of someone doing completely well who says "I can take it" twice in a row just to prove how well he's doing:

Bestie. You're fifteen years old and running around in a world where tripping acid on identity issues, amnesia, and listening to vague monologues from strange predatory darkness men is another Tuesday.

Sora keeps spacing out and giving thousand yard stares especially throughout this game, and when Ienzo told him "yeah, your heart's not entirely yours!" And Sora just stared blankly at the phone like "figures." I just laughed, lol. He's just constantly pivoting between being occupied by and amazed by the Wonder™ of the world/absorbed by the hype of meeting new people and the Horrors™ presented by the constant tumult of foreign emotions and memories running through his little head, clearly to such a degree that it's no surprise to be told that there's whole fuckin people within him. Teenage experience, honestly. Love coming of age narratives that are just crazy fucking magic bs manifesting in dissociation central. What a guy.

I was in tears laughing when Sora was hearing voices in Twilight Town and thought Hayner and co. were those same voices for a sec and very enthusiastically, as though to prove himself went: "See?? :DDD Voices!" SORA, HONEY.

In other news of AAA-

Way to the Dawn just fucking broke? Why was everyone so calm? Am I missing something? Riku's like "aha gives me an excuse to skill up and get a better one-" child, I am gripping you by the shoulders. This blade is manifested as an extension of your heart, they don't just BREAK. Should I be concerned about the integrity of your soul, brother?

THE SCENE WITH KAIRI AND LEA/AXEL WAS SO SWEET, I WANT MORE OF THEM. NEED MORE OF THEM, ACTUALLY. When Kairi was like ":3 hehe I'm gonna beat your ass in the ring," and when he started CRYING because he caught a glimpse of Xion in her. 😭 Her letter to Sora was so fucking sad I am heartbroken how she becomes more alienated from her friends as time goes on. She went from sending the letter as a waypoint in KH2, like "please come back, here I am" to "you know where I am, but I'm still here talking to myself anyway." I. 👏 NEED. 👏 CLOSURE. 👏 Preferably for Kairi with both Sora and Riku, but they'll probably do just Sora but I dunno I don't want to get my hopes up or down. I just... I dunno, even if things aren't necessarily the same with all of them, I'd just like there to be something affirming where they stand because like even though the care they have for each other is obviously there, you can see it with all three of them in KH1 and KH2 (drives me up the walls bonkers when Riku shielded her with his body and Sora caught her when they were flashbanged), it's also like that feeling of a dwindling group chat kind of scenario. "That's right, no more waiting for you to come back from your adventures..." Props to VA that line was delivered so laden with hollowness. I hold Kairi in hands. Devastated.

THE FOCUS ON SAVING ROXAS HAS ME EXCITED. THAT IS ALL. I WAS YELLING AT SCREEN FOR FOREVER LIKE "USE A REPLICA" and then Riku finally was like "🤔✨...Replica?" And I went and mentally hoisted him onto my shoulders for a little "hip hip hooray" because the dots are connecting with the characters, fellas. I might see at least one of my peoples, soon.

Riku's VA just sounds like he's given up for this game and it's killing me, lol. Voice direction just hasn't been in his favor so far.

Mickey Mouse and Riku bonding time in hell. Riku's like "wow, mouse dad, I feel less riddled with self doubt these days. It's pretty nice to feel like a go-getter, haha, wonder why tho?" And Mickey Mouse is like... "Well... 🏳️‍🌈...! :D" Riku goes: "🤔... 🏳️‍🌈👍." strength to protect what matters And then that's that. Back to reconnaissance mission for lost veteran. Cinematic perfection.

Sora is still a certified Disney princess, if anyone's curious. He got his dance number in for this game, and he had birds gently circle around him and land on his finger.

Marluxia: "Ah yes, we finally reunite." Sora: "who"

I still can't tell if anyone has debriefed Sora, Donald, and Goofy about what happened in Castle Oblivion yet in any way. I'm wondering why they're (writers) playing that particular plot line so close to their chest.

Adorable how well Sora and Rapunzel got along. While Sora is a friend to all and shit it's really sweet seeing how he still seems to have bonds where he personally clicks with some characters more than others. And all for good reasons- like matching with his traits. I imagine him, Rapunzel, Ariel, and Hercules get brunch at the Bistro now, and no one can take this from me. Also Hercules is such a Sora hypeman, cheering him on even when he's getting crushed by a building. He passes the vibe check 100%.

I manifested my gag attack concept from my BBS post halfway into being and I'm so happy about it, lol. Thank you Hercules from hit movie Hercules for swinging Sora around in a circle like a broadsword in your special attack. I think more people should use him as a broadsword for enrichment reasons.

THEY CUT OUT THE SNUGGLY DUCKLING FROM TANGLED. SO MUCH POTENTIAL HAS BEEN LOST FROM CANON. I WILL NEVER RECOVER.

"how do I get power of waking when it didn't work the normal way Hercules," "idk Sora maybe you've got to be in love like I am," "well shit. guess I should get me some of that love superpower. Oh btw how come happily married Mickey Mouse and my best friend Riku are the only dudes that have the power of waking I'm confused," "...idk Sora" "okay, bye herc" (can you see my sleep deprivation leaking yet, I'm connecting the dots though, I promise, trust my methods 🤣)

IT TOOK ME 7 TRIES TO CRACK A FUCKING EGG. Remy Ratatouille looks at me like a disappointed father

Weaponized amusement park ride powers are so badass actually. I love the teacups and wish I could inflict them on my enemies, too.

Sora now has GUN. "Shooting" Star, indeed.

Sora and Rapunzel splashing in da water. 💦🥰 So cute.

WHY DID THEY PUT THEIR WHOLE ASS INTO THE FAKE VIDEO GAME TRAILER IT LOOKED SO SICK. I was so confused though I saw the dude and was like... Riku?? Wtf you're HD, my guy! Wait, you've got heterochromia and are chasing after a girl, mistook you for someone else, my bad.

There is a dog on my gummi ship roof and he will stay there until I finish the game.

Twilight Town is gorgeous and I now know the answer for "if I could pick a video game place to live" that's not just Stardew or Pokemon or something.

"I can't computer so... do that." Me too, Sora. Helping him learn his phone by having him take a ton of pictures, though. I'd like to imagine he sends them to his buddies or is excited to show them later or something. That would be so <3

The Kingdom Hearts social media posts are so funny to me for some reason btw. You get surreal shit like Riku pain-posting "I wonder if I'm the reason Ansem looks the way he does :/" and. The sideway frown just sent me. No, I can't explain why. Just comedy gold. "Mfw when possession :/" "sometimes I think about when my friend was in a coma for a year :/" "y'know I wonder what my family felt when my home was overcome with darkness because of me. Did it hurt? Were they afraid? Well they're back now but I wonder that sometimes. :/"

Maleficent is me trying to track down Luxu and shake him for answers. I don't even care if it's bad she finds it, I need to know what's in the damn box.

Buzz Lightyear going "this plot sounds ridiculous and absurd. Of course you're acting like this is normal, pitiful JRPG character." Sora: ":'D"

GET IN THE ROBOT, SORA.

#kingdom hearts 3 first playthrough #kingdom hearts #kh3 #kh sora #sora

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the-one-blog-to-rule-them-all · 10 months ago

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FF7 spoilers under the break you've been warned

So here’s my official writeup on my thoughts and feelings on FF7 from start to finish. I’m sure I’ll skip some parts but I just neeeeeed to talk about this and I have nobody to talk to about it now bc my irl friends are not the fandom girlies I typically associate with lol. For anyone who reads this, bear in mind that I have somehow not been spoiled for literally anything in the OG game (and haven’t played it) aside from the one obvious big thing (and even then, I didn’t know when it happens or any of the circumstances surrounding it).

The start of the game is hype and exciting because WOW NEW LOCATION!!! But honestly I had a bit of doubt going in. I was incredibly excited just to get back into the world I hold so dearly to my heart but there’s always this nervousness that comes with any piece of media you look so forward to because if it sucks then it just… ends. You don’t get a redo of something, ya know? So there’s always that preliminary anxiety when I’m starting something new because I’ve really put all of my emotional eggs in this basket and I need it to be good.

But yeah you start off in Kalm and let me tell you the fucking cornfusion I was having with Cloud retelling this story to all of his friends… The Nibelheim Incident. And the whole time he’s retelling the story I’m like man I just don’t remember any of this and I’ve played the hell out of Crisis Core and I could have sworn this was Zack, Sephiroth, and Cloud (as a hidden shinra soldier, not out as Cloud). Like I remember the photograph they took with Tifa on the way up the mountain and it was Zack and Sephiroth and Tifa, no big Cloud moment. I remember thinking “But wasn’t Zack paired up with Sephiroth?” so I was incredibly confused by the end of this segment. But then Tifa validated my confusion by being incredulous herself so I was like oh okay, I’m not fucking crazy. Although I was still super confused!! Like why are they both remembering different things and not mentioning Zack at all (that comes later) and is Cloud lying? And is he doing it on purpose? That’s not the Cloud I know, the Cloud I know is a SOLDIER and seems pretty honorable (that’s my fucking bad by the way, I do NOT understand how playing Crisis Core three times, watching Advent Children countless times, and consuming so much fanfic and other media around this universe has allowed me to blow past the fact that CLOUD WAS NEVER A FUCKING SOLDIER. He couldn’t pass the mental test so he was just a regular Shinra grunt this whole fucking time and the only reason he has the Mako eyes is because of that fucking four years of tube testing Hojo did on him and Zack!! And then he just mentally checked Zack out after the trauma of his death and was like “yep, actually I did all of these things and Zack isn’t real”. LIKE WHAT??!?!?!?!!?!?! HOW DID I MISS THAT LMFAO)

To be honest the first half or so of the game kind of blurred together because it was very very very light on the story and that was really brutal for me. I think the first time I played Remake when it came out I blew through the story in like… 25 hours. I didn’t do AAAANY side quests because I was just so excited for the story stuff. So this time I really wanted to enjoy the story correctly and play it right the first time so that first half of the game was me doing the Rumplestiltskin toe gripping thing while I fought my way through all of the little side quests. But they felt fulfilling honestly. I really do love building a relationship with these characters but holy farking ship, I kept talking to Tifa all wrong and I was so scared lol. I swear every time I’d have to make a dialogue choice I picked the wrong one and he would say some dumbass shit to her. I was building a relationship with Barret easy fucking peasy we were just a couple of guys being dudes. And boy do I love Barret. I’ll always love the trope of a big scary man with a heart of gold and he’s honestly the model for that now. Every time he’d mention Marlene I’d feel my heart swell with joy that this imaginary character has so much love for that little girl. And I love Red XIII so much too, although slightly less now that his personality changed COMPLETELY, but I still can’t help but love him. I spent the whole first half of the game anxiously waiting for Cid or Vincent to show up (AS WELL AS FUCKING RENO, and although I understand why they cut his character for the ENTIRE GAME I cannot help but be heartbroken that one of my favorite characters was just left out) and forgot completely about Cait Sith!!!! So when we got to the sauce and I saw him my little heart completely leapt out of my chest I was so excited!! He was such a really truly amazing and wonderful little guy and I can’t believe I forgot about him. I didn’t know he was a little robot though which was shocking to learn, but it doesn’t matter. His little sacrifice at the end of the game made me tear up regardless of that. Yuffie was there too but she made me sooo mad at first lmao I ended up enjoying her character a lot though!

Queen’s Blood fucking rocked btw, that was insanely addicting and I wish they had more people to play lol.

Cloud is insanely loveable and crushable. I absolutely adore him and always have and always will. He’s such an endearing protagonist and to see him go through so much in this game was a lot to take in. The scenes he had where he was feeling joy were so important and added so much. I also love the Tifa cat side quest.

So yeah the story is kinda slow up until a little after the halfway point I’d say? It was a lot of just moving from place to place and slowly building things up but I think it worked. I will say that the Zack segments were short and confusing because of their scarcity and length. I would play as him for 3 minutes after 20 hours of doing other shit and then be like “wow! I still know nothing!” lol. Which isn’t a bad thing necessarily but it was disappointing when I felt like there was a lot of marketing in this game about Zacks part of the story. But once the story picked up I was so fucking in dude. Also once I got my Cloud/Tifa date outcome on the first try it was like the game allowed me to give 0 fucks about finishing the rest of the side quests I had left by the wayside lol. Which was nice. And their date was absolutely everything my shipping heart wanted. The Loveless Play was SOOOOO AMAZING OMG the set and how they put all of the characters into it! Was so good. And I’m a sucker for that kind of thing. AND THEN THE FERRIS WHEEL?!?!?!?! Their entire conversation the entire date was so like warm and “natural” for them and it was so nice to see Cloud be a little more open and see Tifa also be more vulnerable. And the kiss was so magical I felt like a little fly on the wall and I cheered and cheered out loud when it happened cause I really did NOOOTTTT think they’d actually put a kiss in the game since I know there’s a lot of “Aerith vs Tifa” drama in the fandom (always has been). Ahhhh I’m so happy lol it was so awesome.

By the way I didn’t know that Cloud had this possession/degradation thing going on either. So when that started happening that was totally alarming. When he knocked Tifa into the mako reactor in his evil little way I was fucking shocked. I truly thought they were rewriting the game to kill Tifa off or something, but that whole segment was absolutely gorgeous and I’m surprised they didn’t touch on it more later on. Just because it seems like it would be a life impacting moment for Tifa. And also cannot believe that after that incident Tifa didn’t go to the others and say “hey uhh something’s fucking wrong with him right now, if he starts being super weird make sure you stay away from him cause he might actually try to kill you” lol. But man it broke my heart sooo bad seeing Cloud like that. Especially because in this game I feel like they really let his goofy personality shine a little bit more so it felt like he was truly not himself.

Meeting Vincent and Cid was a dream. I’ve played Dirge of Cerberus ages ago but I don’t think I beat it, but I love Vincent and Cid lol. Cid is just a goofy redneck so that always resonates with me and everybody loves a super serious vampire. Cait Sith’s betrayal stung like a bitch because he was kinda my favorite “new” companion and I loved his positive attitude and outlook. But like I said earlier, his redemption was really beautiful.

Leif was so convinced they would change Aerith’s death to Tifa to just subvert and change things but I don’t think he was quite understanding of the impact Aeriths death has. Her sacrifice because she’s a Cetra and how she can change the fate of the world and her friends with this one incredibly selfless decision. She’s never had a normal life and finally makes the friends she wanted so badly and went on an incredible adventure and now she has to give all of that up after not enough time with them? Powerful and painful. And like I said, I didn’t know the circumstances surrounding it or when it happened so the entire game I was on edge wondering if it would happen this game or not and well… sure did lol. I figured it would be at the end of this game to give them all the motivation to really end it all in the next game but it still hit me like a train. That entire sequence at the beginning of chapter 14 where Cloud and Aerith are in the sort of “after life” or the “acceptance” area had me crying like a baby. The way everyone was just happily accepting their fate and their one last chance to do the things they did in regular life. Blegh. And when they got to the church and he was still confused and she was just thanking him and telling him not to blame himself and he falls into consciousness again as Sephiroth is walking into the church in the background. I made this weird audible sob because I knew it was coming and I was so scared for her. I’m telling you this game was really immersive. I have never felt myself just totally disappear in a game like that ever.

So yeah, then that happens. And it was such a sad scene but really so beautiful and impactful. Bro I’m tearing up again just typing this out hahaha. And the quick time events they have you do to try to stop Cloud from being the one who kills her was so difficult and that just added so much to the immersion, and then it’s all kind of for nothing (or so it seems? But yes for nothing) when sephiroth kills her, and it shows everyone crying and the music is insanely gorgeous during this entire time by the way. From the second they took to the afterlife in Midgar together to now the music has been non stop amazing. And then I’m just thinking back to Aerith singing her song on the Loveless stage and her crying and GUHHHHH. I truly wanted to destroy Sephiroth, fuck that guy I’ve had way more than enough of him. The whole scene was devastatingly beautiful. I can’t put it into words at all.

And then to see that Cloud is still poisoned at the end of the game was also heartbreaking. Watching them all prepare to fly away and “leave” Aerith behind was heartbreaking. Watching Aerith become their guardian angel was heartbreaking. But my god what a fulfilling game. I feel broken on games forever.

But that part where you have to throw boxes as Cait Sith and Fat Moogle? Fuck that shit.

Anyways 10/10

#today in kristory #i love this universe so much

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tojikai · 3 years ago

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FIX YOU

PART I: Fix You | PART II: The Sun Will Rise | PART III: Closest to Heaven | PART IV: Open Arms

Pairing: Toji x Reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings: explicit smut, insecurities

"But you are here, right in front of me."

"I don't know, Megumi. I don't want to talk about it." You heard Toji as you were walking down the hallway of the house. You adjusted the laundry basket that is sitting on your hip.

"Why not, Dad? She's your girlfriend; she's a great person." Megumi answered, his voice just a little louder than a whisper.

You were about to step out and join in the conversation when Toji's following words halted your steps. No, not just your steps. It halted your heartbeat. It halted the blood in your veins. It halted the spinning Earth that you are standing on.

"It's not that deep."

The sound of a wooden chair scraping the floor filled the quiet house as you stood there with cold hands. Are you really listening in on this conversation? Should you run away and stop yourself from confirming what you already know? You don't know precisely what their topic is, but one thing's for sure:

Toji was referring to your relationship.

"It's been 3 years, Dad. How can you say it's not that deep?" You heard Toji sigh at his son's persistence. The click of his tongue bounced at the walls of your home. It entered your ears and bolted straight to your heart.

He's upset. Why is he so upset?

You were getting frustrated as you tightly gripped the handle of the basket. It would leave marks, and he would scold you later for carrying something heavy enough to stain your skin. That's how this night would end. That's how this night should end.

"It's not that easy," Toji spoke a bit harshly to Megumi, but the volume of his voice lowered as if not wanting anybody else to hear him. It's only the three of you in that house. And it's definitely you who wasn't supposed to listen to that.

The waterline of your eyes started to itch as you bit the inside of your cheek. You don't wanna hear any more of it.

"You guys done?" You smiled at them as their eyes snapped to your figure, putting down the basket to clean up the tables.

"Your cooking was good as usual, Y/N." Megumi showed a slight smile up at you as you wiped the table. The boy was close to you. In fact, he even said that he sees you as his stepmom already, despite not having married his father yet.

"Okay, what do you need?" You joked, thinking he's about to request something cause he complimented your cooking. He rarely asks for anything to be done for him, though. Toji raised him to be independent, and you admired him for that.

Despite the time you and Toji have been together, you don't know much about his wife. Megumi said that his Dad avoids the topic 'cause her death still hurts him.

You could only imagine the pain he went through during those times. He had to raise his son alone, and they weren't very financially stable at that time.

"It's nothing like that! I just said it's good." Megumi raised his hands while giggling as if to prove his innocence. You chuckled at him, shaking your head to look at Toji.

He's already staring at you. You wondered if he's thinking if you heard their conversation. You hoped that he wasn't. Because you're ready to forget it. You're prepared to forget what you heard. You're prepared to just let it go and continue your life with Toji. As usual.

You still don't know what they're talking about, but you have your guesses. You just don't know what to do with them. Should you try to covertly find out what it was?

Are you even ready to find out what it was?

After a little while of chatting and playful bickering between the three of you, Megumi decided to head to bed. You and Toji are now alone in the kitchen with his hands gripping the counter on either side of you as he kisses your neck.

"Missed you." He murmured, cupping your covered breasts before kissing the top of them. There was something different about this. His kisses, his touch, and his eyes are eager. Too eager for someone who does it almost every night.

But not too eager for someone who's trying to distract you.

You sighed as his hand cupped your pussy, rubbing your clothed womanhood as he caught your mouth. You grabbed his wrist and put a hand on his chest.

"Not here. What if Megumi comes down?" Toji sighed as he pulled your hands, heading towards your bedroom. He took his shirt off, tossing it somewhere around the room before going back to kissing you, harder this time.

He lifted you by your thighs, not breaking the kiss. He moved to the bed and lay you down. He wrapped your legs around his waist as he groped your body, grinding his crotch against your core. You whimpered to the kiss as he pushed his tongue deeper into your mouth.

His kisses then trailed down to your neck, collar bone, chest, and stomach. His hot breath sent chills down your spine, making you arch your back as he kissed your hips.

Your mind was getting hazy but not enough to cover the earlier events. The tenderness of Toji's kisses opposed the sharpness of his words that reverberated inside your brain.

Your eyes traveled down to his as he stared up at you. Why is he staring at you? Only then did you notice that his caresses had fully stopped.

"What's wrong? You zoned out." Toji got up, leaning on his arms as his previously lustful expression changed into a serious one.

"I was just...I was thinking..." You trailed, looking anywhere but his eyes. Why'd you had to space out at a time like this? You already ruined the mood but still couldn't bring yourself to ask.

"Are you worried about something?" He moved closer to you, waiting for an answer. You don't know how or where to start. But your thoughts wouldn't grant you peace, and the only way to know is to ask.

"I heard you and Megumi talking earlier." You started to sit up on the bed when you noticed how Toji's jaw tightened.

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but—" Toji cut you off by sighing, turning his back on you as he sat on the side of the bed. You stared at him, waiting for an explanation, but he was taking too long, and your heartbeat felt like it was only getting faster and faster, louder and louder.

"Babe, I didn't hear all of it. I only heard the—" This time, he turned to you. The expression on his face was cold as he spoke.

"It's about marriage, okay? He was asking me if we had marriage plans. I...I don't really want to think about it, Y/N." He got up from the bed. You felt the back of your eyes get hot as you watched him pick up the shirt he discarded earlier.

"Why not? We can talk about it." You sounded pathetic. You know that, but this is about you and Toji. You pushed this topic to the back of your mind a year ago because you thought he'd ask you when he was ready.

Will he ever be ready?

You and Toji live like a married couple. Everything that a married couple does, you and Toji do too. So, why does the idea seem so bad to him? Does he not see a future with you when you've already been together for 3 years?

"Why? Do we have to? We're fine like this, Y/N." He let out an exasperated sigh, turning back to you just as he was about to grab the door handle.

"It's just that...my family's been asking too." You put your feet on the floor, standing up to go closer to him.

"Is that why you want to get married so bad?" He snapped, glowering at you, and you felt like crying cause you hate it when he's angry. You hated having situations like this with him.

Because he forgets that he loves you when the two of you fight.

"Y/N, this shouldn't be about them. They cannot decide or force us to do something just because they want it." He added as he started to prance around the room. Frustration was evident in his features.

"It's not just them. It's not just because they want it. Babe, I want it too and—"

"Well, I don't!"

Silence.

There was a long silence. You couldn't bring yourself to speak after what he said. You struggled to contain your sobs as they erupted from your throat. You stood there, staring back at him with glassy eyes.

"I can't, Y/N." He sighed. His gaze on you softened as he took in your state.

You didn't know when the tears started to fall down from your eyes, when your breath started to shake, or how you ended up hugging your knees as you sat on the cream-colored carpet of your bedroom.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I just can't. That. Marriage. I don't know if I," He paused, taking a deep breath, and slightly shook his head.

"I don't know if I want something like that with you." He continued as he stared at the bedside drawer that contained his ring.

His and his late wife's ring.

You weren't that surprised anymore. She was his rock during his toughest times. She was with him when he was alone. She's the mother of his child. She's the love of his life.

And you? You're the girlfriend of 3 years, but where does that put you?

You remember him telling you not to expect so much. You promised that you won't. And you broke that promise tonight. You cannot blame him. It's not his fault that he cannot love you the way he loved Megumi's mom.

It's not his fault that he cannot put you first in his heart.

And so, you got up. You wiped your tears, controlled your sobs, and picked your broken pieces up. There was nothing to talk about anymore. You don't have to fight with him anymore.

You understand, and you will always understand. Because it's him. And to you, it will always be him.

You fixed yourself before walking to him and hugging him. You bury your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent as you try to ignore the throbbing pain in your chest.

"I'm sorry, babe. I shouldn't have brought it up." You whispered to him as you felt him relax a bit, taking a deep breath.

"Let's just go to sleep. You have work early tomorrow." You rubbed his shoulders, watching his face. His eyes looked into yours, and though they looked calmer now, the annoyance was still there. Sighing, he walked away from you and took off his shirt as he walked towards the bed, not waiting for you before getting under the covers and turning away from your side.

Does he really hate the idea that much that even though you took it back, he's still mad? Tears were about to fall from your eyes again, but you did your best to stop them.

You got under the covers and moved closer to him, embracing him. Your chest was pressed against his back, and your lips were on his shoulder blade.

"I won't stop you if you want to go and look for someone who wants to marry you." The words he spoke to your heart only wounded it more.

You know that he still hasn't fully moved on from Megumi's mom. He yearns for her every day, every second you spend with him. He sees her in everything that you guys do.

He calls for her name in his sleep. He called for her name a couple of times when he fucked you while intoxicated. He cries for her at night when he thinks you're far into the dreamland. He has her picture in his wallet, and he kisses it good night with the gentlest 'I love you' you've ever heard from him. You know all of these, yet you still stayed.

And you will always stay.

Because you know that the person he is calling for is no longer here. Because you know that the person he is crying for will never come back. Because you understand that this is the only thing he could do to feel a little closer to her. Because you know how strong love is, and you know that the intensity of Toji's love for his dead wife is as profound as your feelings for him.

It will never die.

"I'm sorry, but I just don't see us like that, Y/N..." He trailed with a small, exasperated sigh. As if that short talk alone drained every bit of energy in his body. And it probably did. He's this vulnerable when it concerns her.

"Then how do you see us?" Your voice cracked as you held him tighter, afraid that he'd leave you and never come back if you let go of him now.

"I don't know, Y/N. If you're trying to take my wife's place, then just...just stop. We're fine. I love you, you're my girlfriend, and I'm your boyfriend." He paused, trying to think of the right words to deliver the message.

"We're good like this. Just... know your place. Don't get your hopes up so much." And this was what completely shattered you. You closed your eyes tight as you quietly sobbed on his back. But he never turned to comfort you.

That night you slept with a broken heart and a broken hope of building a family with the man you love the most.

-----------------------------------------

Your arms were wrapped around Toji's waist, and your legs were tangled with his under the covers when you woke up. He's now facing you, and you can't help but admire his features. You brought up your hand to touch his jawline before leaning in and pecking his lips.

You remembered the fight you had the night before, and the pain in your heart came back along with its memories. As you stared at his face, you wondered how it feels like to be someone he dreams about every night.

She must've been a wonder.

You thought as you slowly retracted your hand, feeling like you were touching someone else's belonging. You don't want to compare yourself with his late wife.

You can't compare anyway.

A voice whispered in your head, and this time you completely detached your body from his. It felt like you were trespassing on someone else's property. It suddenly felt wrong to touch him like this.

'Know your place.'

You got up from the bed just as the tears started to form in your eyes. Maybe you're really trying too hard. Or perhaps you're just trying when there's no point in doing so at all.

He's right. The both of you are doing fine. You will be fine as long as he's staying with you. You will be fine as long as he wants you by his side.

You started preparing for breakfast, and not long after, Megumi already came downstairs complaining about some assignment their teacher gave them last minute. You appreciate that he could vent to you. It made you feel accepted.

Megumi can't really tell you much about his mother. The only reason for it was that he didn't remember much of her. He only tells you what his Dad told him. She's a sweet, kind, and loving person. She made him a better man.

You can't help but wonder if you have the same effect on Toji. He was never cold towards you. He's never over-affectionate, either. It was fine with you because you're the type of person who wants to take care of others rather than get taken care of.

But... what is it like to be taken care of by someone like Toji?

"...with Dad yet, Y/n?" Megumi's voice cut your thoughts as you turn to him but not before checking the hotdog on the pan. Thankfully, they aren't burnt yet.

"Huh?" You asked the kid as he tapped his fingers on the table listlessly.

"I said, don't you have plans with Dad yet?" He repeated, and the night before flashed before your eyes. The words he said echoed in your head, and the look on his face made you take a shaky breath as you thought of an answer to give.

"Plans?" Despite thinking hard, that was the only thing that came out of your mouth. Once again, you remembered what Toji said. You should know your place.

"Yes, plans. Like are you engaged? or are you planning on getting married already or...?" He trailed as you stared at him, worried that you might say something wrong.

"Maybe... a baby? I won't mind a half-sibling, really." He giggled a bit as Toji's figure came into view.

"You asking for a sibling, kid? Think you can take care of one?" He reached to ruffle Megumi's hair from across the table as he walked towards you.

You swallowed as you turned around to switch the stove off. His arms snaked around your waist as he gently turned your face towards him to give you a peck on the lips.

"Morning." He murmured. He pressed his lips to yours for a couple of seconds before pulling away and sitting down in front of Megumi.

You put the food on the table and started eating. You were about to put food on their plates like you always do but stopped yourself from doing so.

You did not want to seem like you were trying to replace his mother.

"Let's eat. There's a long day ahead." You settled down with the simple phrase, smiling at Megumi. He stared at you with a hint of perplexity in his eyes for a couple of seconds before putting food on his plate.

The clinking of silverware on the plate echoed in the kitchen as all of you ate in silence.

"How was your sleep?" Toji asked Megumi as the boy stuffed his mouth with food. You can feel Toji taking glances at you as he waits for his son to swallow his food.

"It was good. Except for the messages my teacher left in our group chat. It's all last-minute school work." He sighed deeply, taking his glass of juice before looking at you.

"You got something to do tomorrow? There's going to be a meeting for the upcoming school tour." His hopeful gaze was directed at you, and you don't know if you should say yes because... it's a parents' meeting.

Can you really come to a parents' meeting when you're just his father's girlfriend?

"You attended once for me before, right? If you're not busy tomorrow, can you come again?" You can feel Toji's eyes burning holes in your face as they wait for an answer.

You don't want to overstep your boundaries.

"Uhm, I..." You glanced at Toji before looking back to Megumi. You thought that it's best for the real parent to decide.

"What about your Dad? He can come this time, if...if he's not that busy. Right, Toji?" You nervously looked into his eyes as he stopped chewing on his food. You gave Megumi a small smile in an attempt to hide your awkwardness.

"Uh...yeah, I guess. What time is it?" You can see Toji glance at you as you continue to eat, letting the two converse.

You don't want to turn Megumi down. You want to be there for him. But you also don't want to look like you're trying hard to act like his mother.

You aren't. Toji made that clear.

-----------------------------------------

When the two left, you didn't see them out in the front door like you always do. You gave Toji a peck on the lips before he went out to start the car and a small 'good luck on your day' while they picked up their lunch boxes and bags. Megumi looked back at you before going out, and you gave him a smile of encouragement as you wiped the kitchen table.

"She didn't see us out today," Megumi spoke to his Dad as he sat down in the car. It became weird for him not to see you waving goodbye as they pulled out of the driveway.

Toji cleared his throat as he pretended not to hear before changing the topic by pointing out something across the street.

"Is Y/N going somewhere tomorrow? Why can't she come?" Megumi brought you up again, looking at his Dad through the mirror. Toji glanced back at him before answering.

"Why? Don't you want me to attend your school meeting this time?" The light turned red before they could cross. Megumi recalled the last time you attended the school meeting for him, and his friends were asking him about who you are.

'My stepmom.' He answered, seeing you smile at him fondly. That was the first time he introduced you to his friends. He wasn't taking those words lightly. He definitely knows what he was saying. He just thought that if he's going to have a stepmom, it should be you.

He doesn't really remember his mother. That's why it's not that hard for him to accept you. Plus, you're a lovely person. It's impossible not to get attached to you.

Megumi wouldn't say it, but he longs for the day he could officially call you 'mom.'

"It's not that. You have work. I thought you might be busy." He looked out the window as the people crossed the street.

"Not really. I'd be there." Toji answered curtly, nodding at him as they waited for the green light to appear. The rest of the ride was spent in silence.

-----------------------------------------

A couple of days have passed since the argument between you and Toji. He'd be lying if he said that he did not notice the changes in your behavior. You still do what you always did for them, but he could tell that you were limiting yourself this time.

Megumi's been asking him about it. He knows that his son sees you as his mother already. He was just a baby when his mother passed, and he understands that he's looking for that affection that you unconditionally give him, them.

"Can you make my plate for me? I kinda miss it." Megumi asked you one morning, with a slight pout on his lips. Toji's eyes immediately flew to you, watching how you'd respond to Megumi's request.

"Uhm, yeah. Of course, what do you like?" You smiled, taking Megumi's plate and waiting for him to answer.

"You know what's best for me." He answered, leaning his hand on the table. Megumi was right. Toji knows that you know what his son likes and needs.

Toji was deep in thought when the sound of the door closing snapped him out of it. You stepped out of the bathroom in your robe while drying your hair with a towel.

"Dad, I'm going now." Megumi knocked three times on the bedroom door before entering. Tonight, he'll be sleeping over at his friend's house.

"Yuuji and his dad are here to pick me up." He spoke to Toji, spotting you in front of the vanity.

"Bye, Y/N. See you tomorrow!" He walked towards you, kissing you on the cheek before quickly running out of the bedroom. You avoided Toji's gaze as he stared at you through the vanity mirror.

"See you, have fun!" You called as you heard Megumi run down the stairs. Toji watched you as you brushed your hair.

Toji always finds himself smiling a bit whenever you and Megumi interact like this. It makes his heart swell and ache at the same time. It made him question why he hasn't made any future plans with you yet when nothing's in between you right now.

Nothing but the memories of his dead wife.

"C'mere." He spoke, which made you look at him through the mirror for a couple of seconds before seeing him beckon you over. You walked towards him, about to sit on the edge of the bed, when he grabbed your arm and sat you between his thighs.

"What is it?" You asked him, feeling him wrap his arms around your robe-clad waist. He placed his lips on the shoulder, inhaling your scent as his hand traveled from your waist to your side.

"How are you?" You felt his hand caress your thigh as he kisses your shoulder.

"Work's a bit more hectic these days." You answered him, holding the arm that he had wrapped around your waist before leaning your head back on his shoulder, giving him access to your neck.

"I'm asking about you, not your work." He kissed from behind your ears traveling down to your neck, making you place your hand on his head, letting your fingers play with his dark strands.

"I'm okay." You replied shortly, feeling his kisses on your skin stop.

"You're not." He grabbed your face gently, turning your head towards him and kissing your lips. He licked your lips before letting it explore the inside of your mouth, making you moan. He grunts in your mouth as his hand snaked to the inside of your thighs, kneading the soft flesh.

"I was awake that morning you withdrew your hands from me." He whispered to you as he pinned you on the bed, "You are not fine, Y/N." He continued, undoing your robe while he kissed your jaw. He pushed the robe out of the way as he left marks on your chest.

"Toji..." You were about to stop him when he took a nipple in his mouth, looking up at you. You moaned, running your fingers through his hair as he growled, playing with your other nipple with his fingers.

"What's going on in your head? Y/N, you have to tell me." He parted your legs as wide as they could go, making you blush when you realized the exposure.

Toji was aware of what happened that morning after that argument. He's aware that you stopped yourself from caressing him, almost afraid. Like he was something you're not supposed to lay your hands on.

He realized the weight of his words and how they must've crushed your heart and all the plans you always shared with him. He didn't mean them. He loved Megumi's mom, but he knew she was not coming back.

You do not deserve to be treated like this when all you ever did was try and give them the home they have been deprived of.

What he had with his dead wife is nothing but memories now. Her memories will always be in the back of his mind, but you are here, and he knows you will always be here right in front of him.

"You need to tell me, baby." He pushes his clothed crotch to your heat. He switched to your other nipple, kissing around it before hungrily latching his mouth on it. The feeling of his wet tongue circling your bead and the growing tent on his pants rubbing on you made your body heat up.

Toji doesn't know how else to get you to talk. He's not the 'roses and romance' type of guy. But he doesn't want to live with you like this. He hates it. He hates that you prioritize him over yourself to the point that you disregard your own feelings for him.

You've been on edge since that night, and he knows it. He knows that even if it bothers you a lot, you still wouldn't tell him about it. It terrified him that you'd get tired of all of it soon—of him.

The thought of you growing distant and cold and leaving made his head spin. He'd probably go insane because he knows that he's too much, but nobody can handle him as well as you do.

"Tell me where it hurts, love. I'll fix it." He looked into your eyes, almost begging. The pain that you've been ignoring during the past week suddenly intensified. The realization that this—this heated moment—this body and skin is all you'll ever get from him destroyed you even more.

Toji kissed your lips hard, and your hands roamed around each other's bodies. You tugged at the hem of his shirt, making him break the kiss to take it and his boxer off. You took his large member into your hands, spitting on it before starting to stroke him up and down.

"Fuck. Y/N." He hissed when you licked and sucked his tip. Toji's plan was to make love to you while talking this problem through, but when you licked the underside of his cock up and down and sucked his balls, he could only throw his head back and grunt.

You're going faster than you usually do.

You swirled your tongue around the head before taking his whole length into your mouth, making his hand grab your hair and his hips thrust into your throat as he chased your warmth. You hollowed your cheeks as you bobbed your head up and down. He slightly tugged on your hair to make you look up at him. He locked eyes with you, staring deep into your teary ones. You're so fucking beautiful like this.

But Toji couldn't tell if the tears were from taking him deep into your throat or because of the pain he's causing you.

"No. Don't wanna cum yet," Toji grunted, stopping you and pulling you up to kiss your lips again. Your lips were swollen, and saliva ran down your chin as he completely took your robe from your body.

"Wanna be inside you." He flicked and pinched your nipples as he nibbled on your bottom lip. You turned around and got on all fours. You arched your back, pressing your head onto the mattress. Your ass was in the air, and your glistening holes were both exposed to him.

Toji was a bit shocked. It's not like you haven't taken it from behind before, but for you to want it before any other position is new to him. As much as Toji loves the sight of your ass bouncing with his every thrust, he also wants to see your pleasured face.

You felt his tip rub against your folds and swollen clit, making you whine. Toji pulled your legs farther apart before plunging two fingers into your hole to make sure you were ready to take him. He's big, and he knows that it will hurt if he just slams into you.

You moaned, feeling his long fingers massage your spongy walls. Your wetness trickled on his hand, and it only made him harder. He sucked his fingers when he pulled out, humming at your taste. You felt him put his tip inside you, slowly pushing his length all the way in. It burns, and it burns so good.

"So fucking tight." He kneads your ass cheeks, thrusting slowly at first before gradually increasing in speed. You were already screaming his name after a couple of thrusts. You felt so full as he slams into you. You reached for your clit as you buried your face into the pillow.

"So good…" You cried out as you rolled your ass to his hips, his hard cock reaching the deepest parts of you. Toji flipped your body without warning, and your arm immediately flew to your face.

Your moans got louder as Toji rammed into you, replacing your finger with his to rub your pearl. You turned your face away from him, not knowing that he's been observing you.

This is the first time you've had sex since the two of you fought, and you've been hiding your face the whole time as much as you can.

"Don't…I want to see your face." He grabbed your hand to move them away, and Toji felt a pang in his chest when he saw your swollen eyes and tear-stained cheeks. You were sobbing underneath him, and he knows that this one's not just because of pleasure.

"Please… Just make me cum. Toji, please." You begged him as you rocked your hips against him, desperate for release. Toji stared at your face as you looked down to where you two were connected.

You look so broken, so sad, yet still craving for him. You were breaking your own heart as you yearned for him, his heart, and his love, and Toji could tell that you have been keeping it all inside you. He didn't know that it's been killing you like this.

The words he said that night completely shattered you, and he's only seeing the severity of the damage now.

"Baby, tell me how you feel." He urges you. His thrusts are unceasing as tears continue to fall down from your eyes. He intertwines your fingers, kissing your eyelids as he feels your walls spasm around him, sending him to the edge.

"Y/N..." He growls into your ear, kissing the side of your head as you clench around him. Your orgasm hits you hard. Your toes curled as you cried out his name. Your walls were squeezing his cock. He grunts at how tight you feel around him. His hands were gripping the back of your knees as his hips stuttered, signaling his climax.

He slams his hips into you, burying his throbbing cock deep inside you as you feel his thick, hot load fill you up. Your whole body was shuddering underneath him as he continued to sloppily thrust into you.

His lips were on your forehead as your thighs trembled around his waist. After Toji caught his breath, only your restrained sobs could be heard around the room. Toji despised himself for making you feel like this. He plops down beside you, pulling you to his chest.

"I'm sorry. Y/N, I'm sorry." He made you look up at him, kissing your lips as you continued to softly cry. Toji furrowed his eyebrows. He never knew that seeing you cry like this could hurt him this much.

"I was caught off guard that night. I didn't mean it like that. Listen, baby. She's gone, and I know that she's not coming back. But you are here, right in front of me." He tried to convince you, desperate to make you believe that he's not letting the past hold him back anymore.

"It's okay. It's not your fault. You don't have to force yourself into that. It's alright, I know where I should stand." You answered him, hiccupping as you pulled the covers to your smaller frame. He could only watch as you caressed his cheek and kissed his forehead before turning away from him, curling to your side of the bed.

You looked so fragile. Your shoulders were still shaking as you hugged the blankets closer to you as if trying to console yourself. The sight made Toji's throat constrict, his heart clenching every second he spent looking at your broken figure.

He pulled you close to him, his chest pressed against your back as he whispered sincere apologies. He was peppering kisses on your shoulder blades. Like how you did with him the night you fought.

That night, Toji slept with a broken angel beside him, leaving him the heart that he shattered.

#angst #smut #toji #toji fushiguro #toji angst #toji smut #toji x reader #toji x you #toji zenin #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro x you #jujutsu kaisen angst #jujutsu kaisen

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haitaniapologist · 2 years ago

Text

YOU DIDN'T TEACH ME HOW TO FORGET YOU. ( childe x reader, part one )

╰┈➤ you never thought you would find the boy who haunted your childhood in a trip to liyue.

pairings — childe / tartaglia x fem!reader.

warnings — reader is a ragnvindr (not specified whether adopted or not, so it's up to you), reader have an anemo vision, reader and childe are 20, kaeya is older than diluc (personal headcanon of mine lmao), lumine is the traveler, a little bit of angst but overall fluff (yet), childe is smooth and lovesick, a bit of yandereish behavior, possessiveness.

word count — 7.1k

notes — my first time writing for genshin!!! im a bit nervous, but since i noticed childe has only one earring i couldn't stop thinking about it. this is a bit inspired by the relationship between lacie baskerville and jack vessalius from pandora hearts, eheheh. anyways, i hope you guys will enjoys!! reblogs and comments are so so appreciated <3

part two.

being in liyue harbor always brings fond memories to your heart.

it was a place where your father used to have great business deals and, whenever he needed to make a visit to see if things were under control, you and your brother — some time later, brothers — were always at his feet, begging and asking if he could take you two to such an adventure.

dawn winery was beautiful and it was your home, the place where generations of your family grew up and learned how to handle their visions, but liyue harbor had something else — it was more alive, more crowded, more colorful. you were always whisked away by the lanterns and the waterfalls, even though your father, and later your older brothers, kept an iron grip on your hand.

but one day diluc was too occupied looking at a blacksmith making a sword and you used such an opportunity of freedom — it was funny, wasn’t it? that you hailed from the city of freedom yet had your father and brother kept you locked up — to explore the harbor. you ran around, mouth slightly agape in awe due to the city lights and the fishes dancing on the artificial lakes around the stairs. you were living your best life, and you knew that. some old lady treated you to some tea and a piece of your favorite cake, and only when you left her company and walked a bit more around did you notice you were lost.

being lost that day made you meet a ginger haired boy with eyes filled with mirth, and a smile that would never leave your thoughts even after years since the last time you saw him.

“y/n? is everything alright?” you heard paimon’s voice, her small hands waving in front of you. a giggle left your lips seeing her expression, and even lumine gave you a small smile.

you were still in awe in how quickly diluc agreed with you accompanying the traveler on her journey to liyue — he hasn’t said anything about inazuma, so you were still hopeful he’d agree with you visiting the eternal city too — as, since your father’s death and everything that happened with kaeya, he had been even more protective than normal. but he seemed to trust lumine enough to handle her the task of protecting you, and you couldn’t be happier. it had been ages since the last time you went to harbor, but it seemed that nothing had changed much.

yet, you couldn’t help but have the hope of seeing that boy — ajax was his name, that he told you when he first made you laugh — once more. you wondered if he still had the earring you gave him, since it would be the only way you would be able to recognize him for sure. you had changed a lot since you were a child, and you were sure he had changed too. but you never took the earring off, always hopeful that someday he would appear in the winery searching for you.

“yes, thank you for the concern, paimon.” you smiled at her, stretching your hands above your head. “i just have fond memories about this place, that’s all.” you explained, feet already walking a little faster to finally be at liyue harbor once more.

“is that so? that’s why you were so eager to come with us when we said our journey would take us here?” you hummed a quiet confirmation to her questions, eyes scanning the crowd. you never went to liyue when the rite of descension was happening, only hearing stories about it from the merchants and from your own father — lord barbatos wasn’t like rex lapis, and sometimes you envided liyue for having such a close relationship with its deity. having an anemo vision always made you want to meet the god who granted you such a blessing, but nobody has seen the anemo archon since mondstadt founding days. “oh, paimon thought so!” the small girl nodded at you, starting to fluctuate before you and lumine.

maybe she was anxious to reach the city, too.

—

“but papa!” a child’s voice could be heard by those who passed near the unfamiliar group of people, all of them dressed in black and white, surely not from the harbor — the man and the boy’s bright red hair was enough clue that they were from the family who kept their taverns full of wine and other drinks, but also someone they weren’t supposed to mess with.

crepus ragnvindr had a reputation beyond him, but the way he was crouched to listen to his daughter’s complaints, made it shrink a bit. “papa, i do not want to be with diluc.” you tried to plead with him, small hands grasping his white shirt. “‘luc is a meanie, papa! he was yanking my braids a few minutes ago!” crepus sighed, and you turned your head back to show your tongue to your older brother.

he just showed his in return, red-hair long enough to cover his face and the smirk behind it.

“y/n, my dandelion.” your father called you and you returned your attention back to him, his red eyes kind but shining with authority. “i will be having some meetings with important people, in a few minutes. you will be bored and i am sure of it.” he explained, heart breaking at how crestfallen you looked. “i am sure being with diluc will be more of an enjoyment for you. you both can explore the city, and i’ll make your brother promise he will do something that you want, alright?” his big and warm hands cupped your cheek, trying to wipe the few tears that spilled from your eyes.

ever since your mother died, you noticed your father started to be more touchy and considerate of you and brother. once, he used to stay locked up in his office, from breakfast to dinner, and your mother was the one who made sure you and diluc were enjoying your childhood. but now he was the only one who could make it.

“you promise you’ll buy me a new dress and some inazuman dango, papa?” you pleaded.

he kissed your forehead. “of course. now, go. papa has his meetings.” he let go of your face and you snuggled at your brother’s side, small hand intertwined with his. diluc was only two years older than you, but his height made him seem older and more mature.

“you’re such a brat.” he whispered, long legs already taking him to a working blacksmith he was eyeing when you were bickering with father.

you pouted, but failed to see the fond smile on your brother’s face. since mother’s death, he had changed, and you couldn’t blame him. mother was always with you two, and her absence made you both lonely — you two were the only children in the winery, and you couldn’t leave it as freely as you would like, having tutors and duties the other children nearby didn’t have. the ragnvindr clan was one that still held some status as nobility, and your father wanted you and diluc to be educated as such.

you rolled your eyes as soon as you noticed that diluc would never honor his deal of the promise, frustrated tears already making your vision glossy. your brother had always been mean, but he seemed to be worse now — even letting go of your hand to ask the blacksmith about what kind of ore he was using. that was your opportunity for freedom and, just like lord barbatos did, you started to distance yourself from diluc, until he was nothing but a small red dot on your vision, and you started to run free through the streets of liyue harbor.

you ran through alleys, fed some fishes and talked with some elderly people, all of them excited to give you local delicacies. but the kindest of them all was an old lady with an odd teapot, who offered you a piece of cake and tea. you weren’t the most found of the hot beverage, but that woman had such a calming aura — she managed to coax from you why you seemed so upset, and you even sobbed between her arms about how mean your big brother was being. but nighttime was arriving and you needed to go back to diluc, waving goodbye to her with an easy smile on your face.

but as soon as you saw yourself alone again, you noticed you were lost. liyue was huge, even more huge than mondstadt — you knew how to navigate in your birth town as easily as a bird would do in the sky, but nighttime in liyue was scary. the lights weren’t too bright and you could see shadows everywhere you look.

before you could start crying for your father, a calm voice took you from your spiraling thoughts.

“are you lost, stranger little lady?” it was a boy, probably your age, just a few centimeters taller than you, with big blue eyes that had a bit of mirth dancing on them and a nervous smile on his face, ginger locks that beautifully adorned his head and freckles that looked like stars on his cheekbones. he was dressed in an unfamiliar fashion for you, too different from what you were used to seeing both in mondstadt and liyue. you felt like in the books your mother used to read for you, meeting your knight in shiny armor.

you sniffled, cheeks hot from embarrassment. “yes.” you admitted, eyes looking everywhere but him. you heard him giggle and your cheeks seemed to be even hotter than before. you crossed your arms over your chest, pouting. “this is not funny! i am from mondstadt, i do not know how to navigate here.” you started to walk away, but soon you heard footsteps behind you. “if you are not going to help me, i don’t want you near me!”

the boy chuckled again. “it’s fine. i’m not from here too.” he explained, and the fact that he wasn’t from liyue caught your attention. he seemed to notice that, his cheeks now with a rosy color on them. “i’m from snezhnaya.” you just nodded, and it seemed that he was waiting more from you — but you only knew that snezhnaya was cold.

“do you know where we are going?” you asked innocently, and he just shrugged, but you could see that his eyes were hesitant and showed even a bit of fear despite the mirth on them.

“no. my father and older brothers just told me to stay there and wait for them.” he explained and you stopped in your tracks.

“i ran away from my brother.” you admitted, now making the way back to where you were previously. “i can’t make your family worry about you.” you couldn’t see his reaction because he was walking behind you once more, but you felt ashamed. shouldn’t you be a good girl and stay with diluc even if he was mean and boring? that boy seemed to be more obedient than you were.

but, for some reason, he held your hand, making you stop. “i want to be a hero. i don’t mind exploring things with you around here and helping you find your family.”

the intensity of his blue eyes made your little heart race. you could only nod.

“how they are? physically?” he asked, and you noticed that he didn’t let go of your hand.

you scooted closer to him. “my papa is big and strong! both him and my brother have big and curly red hair, and their names are crepus and diluc.” you explained, voice an octave louder because of your excitement talking about your family. “papa is the owner of dawn winery back in mondstadt, and he’s here to sell dandelion wine, our specialty!” you giggled, turning around to face him, hands still connected. “the last time i saw my brother was at a blacksmith.”

the boy nodded and started to walk in another direction, saying he knew some blacksmiths he could take you to so you could see if it was the one.

during the walk, you both warmed to each other. he told you his name, ajax, after making you more at ease with his presence after he made you laugh over some jokes, and you told him yours in return, giggling when he said his father named him after a hero and that his hobby was to fish. you told him about your life in the winery and about your mother, and he told you about his siblings, especially tonia and baby teucer. in the end, the blacksmith wasn’t the one diluc was talking with, but you felt safe being with ajax.

safe enough that you stopped in the middle of your track and took one of your earrings. they once belonged to your mother, a gift from your father when the two of them were still in courting days, and she handled them for you on her deathbed. your father deemed you too young to wear such earrings, red as the color of his and diluc’s hair, but your mother just laughed at him. “open your hand and close your eyes!” you said to ajax, a big smile on your face. he did as you told you with a puzzled look on his features, and as soon as his blue eyes were closed, you gently put the earring on his palms.

when he saw your earring on his hands, noticing you took it from your ear, his look became even more puzzled. “... why?”

“because you are my friend! i want you to wear it so we can match, alright?” you explained, giggling when he promptly put it on his left ear — the one opposed from your piece of earring rested. “they once belonged to my mother, so take great care of them!”

but before ajax could say anything, your heard your father’s voice. “y/n, my dandelion!” you turned around, a big smile on your face, running to meet your father’s awaiting arms. you jumped on them and he held you against his chest, his hands bringing you even closer to him. you could also feel diluc’s smaller hands on your back, and you smiled. “where were you, for barbatos’ sake?” your father asked when he placed you on the ground again, but as soon as your feet touched the ground, diluc’s arms were around you.

“i ran away from diluc.” you admitted, embarrassed, and diluc’s arms tightened around you.

“that diluc told me.” your father added, a stern look on his face.

you averted your eyes from him, looking at the ground. “i started to roam around the city until ajax found me! we stayed together until you spotted me, papa.” at the mention of your new friend, you looked at your father’s face again, a big smile on your face.

“ajax? the boy you were with?” you nodded excitedly at your father’s question.

but when you looked back to introduce him to your family, ajax was long gone.

—

“here we are!” you heard paimon’s excited voice, taking you from your memories, her little legs and arms doing the little dance she always did when she was excited. you briefly smiled at her, before your eyes were scanning the sight in front of you — liyue harbor was exactly the same from your childhood memories and, albeit involuntarily, you started to look for ginger hair and blue eyes. ajax was someone that would stand out, but your brief scan for him proved to be fruitless.

when your attention returned to your traveling companions, they were already chatting about the rite of descension. you hoped lumine would be able to have some answers about her brother’s fate or where he was currently — you couldn’t phantom a world where you woke up without diluc at your side, and you understand her motivations.

“okay, so paimon and the traveler are going to ask about the rite of descension for locals, and y/n looks for a place for us to stay!” paimon clapped, proud of the outcome of hers and lumine’s discussion. it was something that you had already discussed with both of them prior to reaching the harbor, as you faintly remembered the inn you used to stay with your father and diluc when your father’s negotiations would take more than a day to be resolved. it was a relatively cheap place, yet still comfortable and with good food.

you bid farewell to your companions, with the promise of finding them at the same place in about five hours, the sunset being your indicator. none of you knew how much time the rite would take, and if lumine would be blessed with some words from rex lapis, but you thought five hours were more than fine.

your feet knew the steps to the inn like you knew the steps for angel’s share, as you no longer were the lost and scared girl of when you first met him, even though such steps were deviated when you passed through some shops or relatively known people.

when kaeya first knew about the little incident you were caught in, in the first time he came to liyue since your father took him in, he made sure that you started to knew your way around the harbor — as the oldest of the, now three, ragnvindr siblings, he didn’t quite share the same vision your father and diluc had about you; you weren’t just a little and helpless doll, that needed them for everything. you were quite brave and adventurous and, as your new oldest brother, kaeya encouraged those behaviors. that’s why you knew your way around liyue, even though your memory was a bit rusty.

but you managed to reach the inn, in one piece nonetheless. kaeya would be proud.

the owner remembered you from your childhood days, even offering his condolences due to your father's passing — it had been four years ago, but you would never be able to move on properly. that day you hadn't just lost your father, but also a brother, and also gained the biggest blessing celestia gave to teyvat's people.

the anemo vision was a reminder of everything you lost that day, yet, it was the marking of a new chapter of your life.

after booking rooms in the inn and placing yours and lumine's things in a safe place, you took the opportunity to explore the city. it has been five years since your last visit to liyue, and the streets had already changed — however, you still could hear the incessant bickering between diluc and kaeya, and the giggles from your mouth that followed their words. you would do anything to have them like that again, but you also couldn't blame them for their own feelings. everything was now so complicated.

yet, liyue still amazed you. the changes were for the best, and not even the rumors of an archon's death could be able to take you from your state of happiness — even though it worried you, deep down. those from mondstadt were used to living without the guidance of their god, after all. liyue would learn, too.

too lost in your thoughts, you almost lost the sun's farewell — your companions would be waiting for you. the path you took to the meeting place was familiar to you, and if you squinted enough, you could see you and ajax running through such steps, both of your laughs loud enough to awaken sleeping deities. you had tried to look for someone with characteristics alike to him, not losing hope of seeing him again. but he was probably back at his homeland, taking care of his family, not even thinking about you like you did with him.

you chose to believe he was happy, because, if otherwise, your heart would be shattered.

arriving at the meeting place, you frowned. both paimon and lumine weren't there to be found, and just a man was there — a man that, with every step you took and saw more and more of him, made your heart race and your hands shake.

ginger hair. blue eyes shining with mirth, and freckles adorning his cheeks like the stars in the sky. a lazy smile, that still had a bit of the hesitation you remembered fondly while you grew up. and most importantly — the matching pair of the earring that rested on your right ear, hanging from his left one.

were your eyes deceiving you? were you hallucinating? how the odds were that you would find him there, instead of your friends? were the archons blessing you after all the pain and suffering you went through since your father's death?

ajax said nothing, just a smile on his face and open arms waiting for you to nestle between. and you did exactly that, running to meet them — he promptly wrapped them around your form, a safe cage of warmth. ajax was taller and sturdier, but his hands still felt the same. you closed your eyes, trying to ease the errant beating of your heart. he was finally here between your arms, after so many years of wondering why he ran away from you and your family and how he was faring. you didn’t need to worry anymore, didn’t need to search for him through a crowd of strangers.

your heart could be put at ease.

“i found you.” he whispered, hands now holding your face, forehead to forehead. you giggled, a loving smile on your face, one that made his own lips mirror yours and a faint blush cover his cheekbones. his eyes were exactly as you remembered them to be, though now they seemed… emptier. without the innocence that a child would have, and you swore you would make pay whoever made such a thing disappear of him. “y/n. my y/n, i found you.” he whispered, his warm breath tickling your face.

“you did, ajax. and i found you, my knight in shining armor.”

he chuckled. “you can’t possibly think of myself like that after all those years.” he replied, his gloved hand caressing your face, as if he didn’t believe you were still real.

because ajax didn’t. he didn’t know even if he already fulfilled the promise he made to himself when he watched your family gush around you, when he was still the son of a fisherman, and not the eleventh harbinger. but, maybe the tsaritsa found him worthy already, and wanted to grace him with such a blessing — or even barbatos, the archon that looked over you and your city. he didn’t know and he didn’t care, not when it seemed that you were made perfectly to fit between his arms.

“why not?” you asked, curiously, hands grabbing his red shirt. “you looked like one, appearing from nowhere to save me.” the way the red on his cheeks intensified made your giggles even hard, and you didn’t care if strangers were watching such a loving reunion unfolding between them — none of them knew who you were, after all.

ajax sighed. “i can’t fight with you, can i? not even many minutes have passed after we’re reunited and you already have me wrapped around your fingers.”

it was your time to blush.

you hid your face on his chest, smiling when you felt his chest rumble with his laughter. it was a sound that you tried to remember every day, to not forget about it — because, as soon as you looked at his eyes, you were struck with the realization that you had forgotten the exact shade of blue of them. but now you would never forget it again, because they were the most beautiful shade of the color you ever saw.

“despite the happiness i feel for seeing you again.” you started after some minutes of silence, just enjoying each other's presence, head still resting on his chest. “where’s lumine and paimon?”

“the blonde traveler and her flying companion?” he asked, cradling your face between his hands once more, and you nodded.

then, ajax explained what happened to you. how rex lapis had been killed and lumine was now one of the main suspects, how he helped her and paimon escape liyue's militia, the millelith, and the steps he advised her taking, which she was going to do so — talk with each one of the adepti and make them believe she wasn't the killer. before parting, lumine asked for him to meet you on their place and explain the situation, though he would never believe her friend would be you.

“and one more thing, y/n.” you heard his voice when you two were already walking back towards the inn, hand in hand.

“yes?”

“people around here know me as childe.” you gave him a puzzled look, and he felt his heart to be poisoned for having to lie to you. childe didn’t want to, of course, because he wanted to trust you — but he couldn’t be sure of it yet. “just an alias. it's not good to give strangers your real name, you know?” he needed to know first if you would accept the truth well and not hate him for staining his hands with blood for his country.

“very well. nice to meet you, childe.”

—

you came to learn that ajax was someone very stubborn.

at first, he didn’t want to let you sleep in the inn. he had a place big enough for you two to be, and being with him would make it easier for him to protect you — and, of course, spend more time with you. but you didn’t want the inn’s owner's efforts to be in vain, as you just had booked the room for one night, thinking things with the god of contracts would be easier than with the god of freedom.

you were utterly wrong and, after some sweet words to convince him and the promise of staying with him until lumine and paimon came back, he gave in and accepted your decision.

“good night, childe.” you whispered after your lips graced his warm cheek with a shy, albeit tender kiss, your face mirroring the red his own was displaying. “dream of me, alright?” you teased, getting away from his warm embrace — already missing his arms around your form and his smell clouding your senses.

he chuckled, taking your hand on his gloved one and pressing a kiss to your knuckles. “i’ve dreamed of you every day since we met, my beloved.” with such words he left and started to walk away, and you stayed at the inn’s entrance until he was just a small black point in your vision, your heart beating loudly inside your rib cage and your cheeks as warm as if you had stayed in the sun for too long.

the next day, you kept your promise.

you two had agreed to meet for dinner in the liuli pavilion, one of his favorite restaurants in the city. you spent the day anticipating such a moment, while still trying to explore the city and help the traveler and paimon gathering information from locals. you hoped their journey was being kind to them, and that the adepti were far more understanding than the people in the city. unfortunately, you didn’t pack many fancy clothes — apparently, liuli pavilion was quite the fancy place, something you weren’t used to going to.

the fanciest place in mondstadt was angel’s share, your brother’s tavern.

but you at least knew some etiquette, from all the classes your father made you take, and you were now glad for it. even though you didn’t know how to use chopsticks, and apparently ajax wasn’t the most skilled in such activity, you had the dignity to pretend nothing was happening.

but at the end, both you and ajax fell into a burst of giggles. “these things weren’t made by the archons, i’m sure of it.” you commented after the laughter died down, cheeks red from the looks of other patrons, but a warm and fuzzy feeling inside your chest quickly overtook the embarrassment — seeing ajax like that was the cause of it, of course.

“someday you’ll learn the art of eating with them, y/n, i’m sure.” he replied, a smile on his face. you raised your eyebrows at him, as if asking why he was so sure of it, while trying to bring another delicacy to your mouth. “you are the most intelligent girl i ever met, do you know that? that’s why i know the chopsticks won’t be a challenge for you.”

“you are flattering me.” you averted your gaze from his eyes, feeling quite shy upon his words. “i’m sure you know far more intelligent people than i.” if he worked with what you thought — after all, you were in liyue harbor, and merchants were all over the place — he probably met people from around the world. you couldn’t be the most intelligent of them.

he chuckled, that sweet and melodic laugh that always made your heart race whenever you heard it, his gloved hand holding your jaw. “how can they be intelligent if they’re not as beautiful or as kind as you?”

“aj— childe!”

you two fell in another burst of giggles, and so dinner time went. you noticed that he avoided speaking of personal matters, such as his family and life, and you respected that. liyue wasn’t like mondstadt, after all — there, you knew you could speak whatever you wanted at any time, that no one would use such information for their own benefit. but liyue was the land of contracts, and what was a better way than to make a contract if not using personal information against someone?

he helped you retrieve your things from the inn, carrying them as if he was the most gentlemanly man in the world, smiling and laughing at you the whole way back to his place — ajax could feel how tense you were, but the preferred to have you close to him, at arm's length, where he could protect and dote on you like you deserved, instead of having you at some old inn, not suitable enough for you.

and, of course, if signora would know about your existence, and especially your surname, childe preferred you under his wing.

“i hope i’m not overstepping any boundaries.” he stated, voice more solemn than you ever heard, and you couldn’t help but feel your heart skip a bit at how considerate he was being.

“no, not at all.” you explained, a small smile adorning your face. “it’s just… strange, being at a man’s house that isn’t from my family.” in the years that diluc spent searching the fatui and trying to find clues about your father’s death, you had lived with kayea in mondstadt, far away from dawn’s winery — only returning to your childhood home when diluc asked you to, perhaps because of the heavy memories the mansion had. you didn’t mind sharing this heavy burden with your brother, happy that at least one of them you could take from his shoulders.

childe nodded. “i want you to know that… that i won’t do anything you don’t want to.”

you knew what he was implying, and you were happy to hear such words. you heard stories of women in the tavern before, and they were grotesque.

“it’s alright, childe, i trust you.” you replied, leaning on his side.

ajax’s heart broke a little hearing that. you shouldn’t trust him, no. but he was selfish and a hypocrite, and even if you asked the truth, only lies would leave his lips — and he dreaded the day the castle of lies he built around himself would fall. but you could be different from your brother, couldn’t you? maybe diluc hadn’t told you anything about his investigations on the fatui.

but ajax came to learn that the same hatred that ran in your brother’s blood, ran in yours, too.

you, inside his house, was a sight to see. it was as if you had always belonged there, as if you were destined to live with him — even if just for a few days. childe could pretend the daydreams he had when fatui’s meetings were too boring were now a reality, that you and him were a couple, exactly like his mother and father, like your mother and father, that the domestic setting and intimacy was something he would have forever.

but, sitting with you in front of the fireplace, your face resting on his chest while your body was nestled in his arms, just a white nightgown preventing his wandering hands from touching your warm skin, his worst fears became a reality.

“why you run away that day, ajax?” you asked after some moments of silence, just basking in his warmth. it was a question that plagued your mind every day, because you tried to search for him in the remaining days you stayed in the city with your family back then — but you never saw them again, and the ghost of such an answer haunted you for more than ten years.

you felt his fingers on your temple, them at the bridge of your nose, as if he was trying to memorize you. but this time, however, you wouldn’t let him go that easily.

you could not.

“i… i was scared.” he admitted, and you furrowed your eyebrows. though a lot of questions wanted to drop from your lips like a waterfall, you remained silent. “when you first told me your brother’s and father’s name, i wasn’t able to match name and face.” and reputation, too. “and when i saw you running towards the arms of dawn winery’s owner, i… i just couldn’t be there. i was, i still am, just the son of a fisherman. how could i be worthy of mondstadt’s royalty?”

“i’m not royalty.” you whined at his chest, and childe chuckled.

“child me thought otherwise. i still do.” he kissed your forehead and you felt like melting, making both of you become just one person. it was overwhelming how much adoration, borderline love, you could feel for someone in just a few days — ajax was merely a stranger, but a stranger that you could recognize by warmth, by the way he breathed fresh air. you could recognize him by touch alone, and you were sure that you would recognize him at the end of the days, too. maybe he wasn’t a stranger anymore.

“so, now you think you’re worthy of me?” because you were sure he was.

he shook his head, his voice with a sadness that you never heard before in anyone else. “how could i? i’ll never be worthy of you, my beloved.” he chuckled at the sound of indignation that left your lips. “i promised myself as a child that the first time i saw you again, i would be. maybe the gods think i already am, who knows.”

you nodded, another question — albeit this time one that didn’t haunt you for too long — falling from your lips. “then, what is your job?”

“i work at the northland bank.” ajax answered more quickly than you thought, and dread was installed in your stomach. could that be…? as if sensing the way you tensed on his lap, he continued. “i’m one of the few civilians that work there.” you almost sighed in relief, once again melting on his warmth. you didn’t know what you would do if ajax was a fatui — it would be the biggest heartbreak of your life.

“it’s alright.” you tried to comfort him, for maybe doubting his principles. another comfortable silence fell between you two, before you gathered enough courage to explain yourself for him. “the fatui, they… they were behind my father's death.” tartaglia knew that very well, looking horrified at dottore’s paper which had your father’s name on it. “i don’t know the extent of his affiliation with them, but… i hate every single one of the harbingers for the misery they brought to mine and my brothers’ lives.” you finished with a tremble of your body, unshed tears glossing your vision.

ajax hugged you even tighter on his chest, and his warmth was enough to take the thoughts your father’s death always brought to your mind away from it. he started to talk about his family instead, trying to lighten the mood once again with teucer’s pranks and tonia’s harsh words at him whenever he returned home. in return, you told him everything about diluc and kaeya, specially their estranged relationship — in the beginning, it was something that broke your heart, but now it was almost funny how they pretend they didn’t care for each other. he laughed alongside you, and you didn’t imagine the terrors ajax’s heart was being consumed by.

sleep time made itself known by the yawns both of you were being affected by, and, reluctantly, you got up from his lap, making your way to the couch behind you both.

“nu-uh.” you heard ajax’s voice behind you, his arms sneaking around your waist and bringing you close to his chest. “you’re going to sleep on my bed. i can’t let mondstadt’s royalty sleep on my couch, can i?” he teased, maneuvering you to the direction of his mistress.

you yelped at the feeling of being carried so easily. “and you will sleep where, ajax?”

“on the couch, obviously.” he answered your question, lying your body on his fluffy mattress. you noticed how close your faces were, heart beating loudly inside your chest – you were sure he could hear it, feel it, by the way his lips rose up in a smirk. his fingertips started to travel on your face once more, as if you were a poem he was trying to memorize, while your eyes kept glued to his, watching as the hues of blue danced on them.

his eyes had always been beautiful, from what you remember — back when you first met, they were round and big, more hesitant than mirth shining on them, but now it was the complete opposite. you didn’t see any trace of his childhood emotions on them, and now the mirth took complete control of them. but more than that, now it also reflected love — love for you — but also a sadness that you couldn’t understand why was there. you would do anything to punish however made him feel this way, even if it was yourself.

ajax stopped his ministrations when his thumb reached your lips. “do you want me to kiss you, my beloved?”

you could only nod, not trusting in the strength of your voice to say what you wanted.

a chuckle left his lips when you closed your eyes, giving him permission to do whatever he wanted with you. you first felt his lips on your forehead, then between your eyebrows, then at each cheek — he took his time to worship your face, making sure every single one of your features knew how much he cherished him. you pouted, wanting to feel his lips against you own. “impatient, are we?” he teased, his lips ghosting over your own.

“how can i not be?”

it was what it took for him to give in to his desire and claim you as his.

ajax kissed you as if you were made of glass. one hand cradling your cheek, while another one bore his hold on your hip as if he was burning you, but not in a painful way — far from it, actually. your hands were gripping his pajama’s shirt, bringing him impossibly closer to you. but a switch turned inside him after a faint moan left your lips, and his soft mannerisms gave place to a more feral side of his, his tongue now exploring your wet cave, and his grip on your flesh stronger than before.

he finished the kiss with a tender peck on your lips, and you hid your face on his hair, while he rested his on your neck, a smile gracing your now swollen lips.

“i should go to sleep.” he murmured against your skin, after sucking a mark on your skin. “but i don’t want to leave you.” you giggled at his childish tone, hands caressing his hair. he probably dealt with a lot of stressful situations at his job, and you would be happy to be there to help him — even after lumine and paimon are back. it wouldn’t hurt if you stayed in liyue a little more than expected, right? you could even be useful for the family’s businesses, being the winery’s representative in the harbor.

“then don’t leave.” you whispered, even though he was already leaving your embrace.

he chuckled, his boyish laugh filling the room with warmth. “la signora will kill me, my beloved. do you want me to get killed then, hmm?”

even the mention of one of the fatui’s harbingers wasn’t enough to make your mood sour. it only made you worry more about him, but if he managed to survive already, he’d continue doing that. “of course not, ajax. you need to come back to me tomorrow, alright?”

childe kissed your forehead, tucking you under his covers. “of course. sleep well.” it was hard to not give in again on his desires and just forget everything and sleep with you on his bed, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop himself if he did — and archons forbid him from making you uncomfortable with his presence.

“dream of me, will you?”

ajax wished he had, but he wasn’t able to close his eyes and have a peaceful sleep. he kept observing you, watching the soft breaths leaving your mouth, how cutely you hugged your pillow. he felt horrible, like he could throw up all his guts, whenever he thought about your reaction when knowing he was, in truth, the eleventh harbinger. it wasn’t fair, was it? that the girl he loved for his entire life hated what he was — although you had your reasons, reasons that resonated with him, because he would hate whatever organization that was the culprit of his father’s death — and would leave him as soon as she discovered his true identity.

the archons were playing a game, weren’t they? maybe the tsaritsa wanted to punish him, somehow, but he couldn’t understand why. he should leave you without a word again — maybe it would hurt less than knowing his true identity.

but how could he? how could he leave you after years of a meaningless pinning that finally was having fruits? how could he leave you now, that he woke up with you between his arms on his small couch, even though you were supposed to be sleeping on his bed?

ajax was cursed, with the worst curse to ever exist on this world — love.

end of part one.

#childe x reader #genshin impact #tartaglia x reader #genshin x reader #childe angst #childe fluff #childe #tartaglia #genshin angst #genshin fluff

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sacredsorceress · 4 years ago

Text

Cake || Bucky Barnes

pairing: bucky barnes x avenger!reader

summary: you and your boyfriend bucky barnes head down to the wilson residence for a barbecue. sam’s nephews adore the both of you and as you watch bucky play with the kids you’re ready to tell your boyfriend that you’re pregnant

a/n: gif credit- @davidsfincher ; i will never get over this scene. reblogs and/or replies are super appreciated!!

word count: 2.7k

warnings: pure fluff based on episode six, mentions of pregnancy

masterlist || request || taglist

“I say we get the vanilla one.”

Standing besides you in the supermarket aisle with his arms crossed, your boyfriend turned to look at you with disgust written all over his face.

“Vanilla?” Bucky said, shaking his head. “Are you kidding, Y/n? All kids like chocolate.”

As he was speaking, Bucky reached out to pull one of the chocolate cakes off of the shelf it was sitting on, but you swat his hand away.

“Oh yea?” You asked. “And what makes you the expert on what kids like?”

Uncrossing his arms, he waved his hand in your face.

“Metal arm.” He said. “Also don’t pretend like Sam’s nephews didn't love me last time we were there.”

You couldn't argue with that. The last time the two of you had been to the Wilson residence in between missions, Sam’s nephews absolutely adored the super soldier. They couldn't get enough of the one hundred and six year-old man with the vibranium arm and the fun they had messing with him.

You had just as much joy watching the interactions between the three of them. You couldn’t help but entertain the idea of starting a family of your own with Bucky.

The two of you had been dating for years- not including the five year blip the two of you had been snapped from existence in- and had often discussed the idea of getting married and having children in the future. You didn’t think you would be ready yet, but as you watched children be in absolute awe of your boyfriend, you felt as though the pieces began to fell into place.

And funnily enough- they did.

You had been feeling sick and exhausted for the past few weeks, but you figured it was on account of the missions you had been going on with Sam and Bucky. When the symptoms continued while you stayed at the Wilson’s home for the weekend while Bucky helped Sam fix the boat- you had taken pregnancy test.

It was positive.

Although you knew that you and Bucky could handle it, you were still in absolute shock realizing that you were going to be starting a family- you were going to be responsible for more than just making sure you and your friends didn’t get killed fighting bad guys- you were going to be a parent.

The only person who knew was Sam’s sister, Sarah. She was the only one inside the house when you had taken the test and when she had heard you pacing around the bathroom, hyperventilating, she opened the unlocked door and immediately saw the pregnancy test in your hands. You had sworn her to secrecy, making sure she didn’t tell your boyfriend or her brother, promising her that you would tell them when the time was right... but with the mission in New York City coming immediately after your stay, you hadn't found the right opportunity to tell Bucky yet.

However, you told yourself that you finally would tonight... after attending the barbecue.

“Yeah, yeah.” You rolled your eyes. “I can’t argue with that. They did love you, but that doesn’t mean you know anything about cake.”

Reaching his hand out for the chocolate cake again he scoffed. “I’m not taking advice from someone who wants to bring a vanilla cake to a party-”

You swat his hand again. “We’re not getting the chocolate.”

“Yes,” He insisted, inching his face closer to yours. “We are.”

“No. We’re not.”

“Can I help you guys with anything?” You heard a worker ask from behind you.

Backing away from your boyfriend you smiled, shaking your head.

“No, we’re fine. Thank you.”

As you watched the worker nod before walking down the aisle, you turned back to your boyfriend.

“Okay fine.” You said. “We’ll compromise. Ice cream cake?”

You watched as Bucky’s eyes widened. “Wait! There’s ice cream cake?”

Twenty minutes later you and Bucky had arrived at the barbecue, your boyfriend taking the cake out of your hands as he stepped out of the car.

As you made your way around the front of the vehicle you watched as Sam’s nephews bombarded Bucky, play fighting with him as he faked attacking them back, making sure to dodge their fists from knocking over the cake in his hands.

You couldn’t deny the way the sight made your heart fill so much you swore it could’ve exploded right in your chest.

As you watched the scene unfold, hearing the laughter erupting from the children around him while he faked getting hurt, you heard Sarah come up behind you.

“You know,” She said, crossing her arms and standing beside you. “You almost scared me to death watching you on the news.”

Glancing at her beside you, you shrugged. “I was fine.” You said. “That wasn’t the first fight I’ve been in.”

“I just can’t believe they let you go.” She said.

“What? What do you mean?”

“What do I mean?” She laughed. “I can’t believe they would let you go do something so dangerous like that knowing you’re-”

Before she could finish her sentence you swat at her arm, rapidly shaking your head, checking around you to make sure no one was listening to your conversation or had heard what she had just said.

“I didn’t tell them yet.” You told her in a hushed voice.

“What?” She asked. “Why not?”

“I couldn’t tell them. If I did they would have never let me go- especially Bucky- but I couldn’t let them go in by themselves like that. You’ve seen the Flag Smashers, Sarah.”

“How long are you going to keep this a secret?” She asked.

“I was going to tell him today.” You told her. “We just needed to sort out the Flag Smashers before I could even think about telling him I’m pregnant-”

“You’re pregnant?”

At the sound of Sam’s voice, you and his sister immediately spun around to be met with Sam standing behind you, only a foot away.

You watched as his mouth dropped and his eyes grew wide and you felt your heart began to race in your chest, knowing that you had just exposed your secret to Sam- you and Bucky’s shared best friend.

“Sam...” You said.

“I-” He stumbled over his words, trying to piece the information together. “You’re pregnant?”

“Yes, but you can’t tell Bucky.” You pleaded, gripping his bicep. “I haven’t told him yet.”

“What?” He exclaimed looking between you and his sister. “How long have you known? Why haven’t you told him yet?”

Playing with one of the rings on your fingers, made anxious by the conversation, you focused your gaze on the water behind him, not able to meet his eyes.

“I found out last time I was here.” You said. “So I found out like a week ago. You can't blame me though, Sam, if I told him he would of never let me go help you guys in New York.”

“Yeah!” Sam nodded. “Neither would I. You could of died!”

“But I didn’t!” You said. “Just don’t tell him okay, Sam? I’m going to tell him tonight.”

Before anymore could be said, you heard the sound of your name being called by Sam’s nephews and spun around to find them running in your direction.

“Hey guys!” You laughed, a smile reaching your face once again.

Watching them run towards you, you knew what they wanted before they even had to ask. Stretching out your arms, you moved your hands in the direction of each of the boys, using your powers to lift them a maximum of three feet above the ground- not wanting to upset their mother. You smiled as you watched the boys laugh about how “awesome” it was in awe as they looked down at the ground three feet below them.

You felt Sam’s hand land on your shoulder.

“I’m happy for you, Y/n.” You heard Sam say, leaning in closer so no one outside of your current group could hear him. “You both are going to be great parents. Just tell him soon, okay?”

He pat your shoulder one last time before walking past you and his nephews you were still currently floating midair.

“How come when I ask you guys if you want to fly you say no?” Sam asked.

“She’s using magic!” Cass exclaimed.

“Yeah, Uncle Sam.” AJ agreed. “That’s way cooler.”

Sam threw his hands up in the air, walking in the opposite direction and as he did you lowered the boys to the ground, much to their disappoint. When they scurried off in the direction of their uncle, your eyes met Bucky’s staring at you, smiling from across the way of where you had just been levitating Sam’s nephews.

“Look at you!” He said, smiling, reaching out his arms for you.

“Me?” You laughed. “You just had a whole choreographed fight scene with the boys. You’re like their cool uncle.”

You watched as your boyfriend pulled off his sunglasses and smiled at you, resting his vibranium hand on your waist.

“Only if you’re their cool aunt.”

You smiled. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

Afterwards the two of you went to eat and spent the remainder of the meal sharing a table with Sam, his sister and his nephews. Despite the dangerous mission the three of you had been dealing with the past week, the table was full of laughter and joy that you were happy to welcome in.

Even when the cake that you had brought was sliced, you and Bucky smiled at each other from across the table when the boys scoffed down their slice of ice cream cake that contained both vanilla and chocolate- your compromise having worked in the end for the better. At times you even used your abilities to pull the fork out of your boyfriend’s hand just as he was about to bite down on a slice of cake, hearing the boy’s laugh as they watched the super soldier roll his eyes at you.

“Ha ha.” Bucky would say. “Very funny... what is that? Three times now? Really, Y/n?”

But he knew you would continue to do it as long as you continued to hear the sounds of awes coming out of the boys’ mouths and he couldn’t fault you for that. Instead sneaking you a smile when you brought the fork back into his grasp.

At the end of the evening when everyone had began to make their way home, the sun setting over the horizon, you helped tidy up with the Wilson siblings. When the tables were all wiped clean, you brushed your hands off on your bottoms, watching as Bucky sat on the edge of the dock, the golden hue of the sunset setting on his features.

Glancing over your shoulder as Sarah ushered her children back home, you saw Sam throw you a thumbs up. When your eyes met his you smiled, mouthing a “thank you” before he turned in the direction of his sister, following her path back home.

Sighing to yourself you turned back to your boyfriend.

You were going to tell him. You were going to finally tell him you were pregnant.

You took one last deep breath, taking in the last moment before Bucky and your’s life changed forever.

Making your way towards your boyfriend you kneeled behind him, your chest meeting his back as you wrapped your arms around his chest.

“Hi.” You whispered.

“Hi doll.” He hummed, moving his hands to hold yours that were resting against his chest.

“Had a nice day?” You asked, leaning in to press a gentle kiss against his cheek.

You felt as his chest rumbled when he chuckled, staring out over the water while the sun continued to set, its reflection turning the water gold.

“Yeah.” He said. “I wish it could be like that every day, you know?”

You knew what he meant. You understood that he was talking about the peace, the joy, the laughter- the normalcy. You understood that he was talking about how your lives were so hectic and always would be due to the hand you had been dealt with super human abilities. You could never have a normal life, but you also understood that it was more than just never having to fight or go on a mission again- it was the feeling of family, of caring and of love.

“I know it can’t be like that every day.” You said. “But would you... would you settle for most days?”

You felt his hands squeeze yours a bit more, tilting his head back to get a better look at you.

“What are you talking about?”

“Would you settle for most days, Buck?” You asked again. “Would it all be worth it even if you still had to fight?”

He answered in a heartbeat.

“Of course it would.” Bucky said. “I’d fight for one day of this.”

You unwrapped your arms from around his chest, moving to kneel besides him on the dock so he could face you. Knowing what you were about to say, you took in the moment, breathing in the fresh air and memorizing the way his face looked in the golden hour.

“I’m pregnant.”

You watched as his face dropped and you were almost worried until a wide smile reached across his face.

“You’re pregnant?” He asked, so in disbelief he sounded as though the wind had been knocked right out of him.

You smiled, nodding your head and took his hand in yours. “I am. I found out a few days ago-”

“Wait.” He cut you off. “A few days ago? Did you know you were pregnant when we fought in New York City?”

Staring at his face now, confronting the issue, you were suddenly very interested in the frosting he had somehow gotten on the bottom of his shirt, tugging on the hem and scratching it off.

“Y/n?”

“Okay, yes. I knew.” You confessed.

Rather than the fed up, overprotective reaction you were expecting, you felt Bucky’s hands reach to cup your face, forcing you to look at him. Rather than anger in his eyes, all you saw was worry and you were wishing you had never gone and fought just so you could save yourself from seeing him like that.

“Promise me you won’t fight anymore.” He said. “At least until the baby’s here- God I can’t believe we’re having a baby- just promise me okay? If anything happened to either of you I wouldn’t know what to do with myself-”

“I promise, Buck.” You assured him, smiling and beginning to feel tears prickle in your eyes. “We’re gonna have a baby.”

You watched as he began to smile once again and the two of you couldn’t help but laugh- so consumed in complete and utter joy. You and Bucky had gone through so much- especially within the last few months- but as you both sat there, so happy you couldn’t help but laugh, you realized it was worth it and you would go through it all again if it meant that at the end of the day you two would come back to each other every single time.

For the first time in your life, you watched as tears of joy began to fill his eyes, almost as if they had begun to wash away the years of pain that he had suffered previously. Although he was sure he hadn’t fought his last fight... he was sure he was going to be okay. He was happy. He was going to share his life with you. He was going to be a dad.

“We’re gonna have a kid.” He repeated the words, almost as if to convince himself that they were true.

“You’re gonna be such a good dad, Buck.” You told him, laughing through the tears that had begun to fill your eyes. “If you’re half as good at being a dad as you are the ‘cool uncle’- our kid is in good hands.”

“You think so?” He asked.

“I know so, Buck.”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes oneshot #Bucky Barnes drabble #bucky barnes blurb #bucky barnes fluff

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vquacki · 3 years ago

Text

It's My Fatherly Duties!

Short DAD Scenarios

Characters: BONTEN - Rindou Haitani, Ran Haitani, Sanzu Haruchiyo

~ Inui Seishu, Kokonoi Hajime, Izana Kurokawa,

~ Souya Kawata (Angry), Nahoya Kawata (Smiley)

Warning ⚠︎︎ : Mature content, cussing, MINORS DNI

Note : requested, I added some characters. Hope ya don’t mind! These are pretty short, just little things I put together. Word barf kinda..? Anyways- I hope you enjoy :))

R I N D O U

His lashes fluttered open when he heard a loud crash coming from the hallway, along with a string of cuss words sounding like his daughter's voice.

“What the hell was that?” You groaned, not a single word was uttered from your husband when he sprung out of bed, bolting to the bedroom down the corridor.

“Tohru?!” Rindou yelled, flinging open the door. Revealing your teenage daughter fully dressed, half way through her second story window. A facade of pillows under her blanket seeminging meant to be her ‘sleeping body’.

“Oh dad, I-”

“What the hell are you doing” The man was fuming by the ears, pajamas ruffled when he jolted out of his slumber.

“Is Tohru okay?” You peeked from behind the broad shouldered man.

“I was just going to get fresh air!” Your daughter lied, making up a somewhat excuse to appease her angered father.

“Hey Tohru! Hurry up and get down here!” You heard a boy's voice call out, looking over at Rindou’s face to see the man's darkened expression.

“Who the fuck is down there? Is that a boy?!” He growled, stomping his feet over to the glass. Pushing past his daughter to take a look.

“Oh shit- her dads here. Let’s book it!” The kids whispered, but loud enough for Rindou to make out, hastily running down the dark street.

“You little shits! Don't you dare come back here!” Rindou growled, slamming the window shut in the process.

“What! Dad!” Tohru whined,

“You're so grounded young lady!” Rindou shouted, not caring for the sleeping neighbors beside his shared condo at three in the morning.

“Rin, she was just having some fun!” You defended, you were also like her when you were her age, trouble makers run in your blood. Actually Rindou couldn't even talk- he was running roppongi at her age.

“No! She's just too young to be hanging out with boys!” Rindou’s brows joined together as he withered in front of you.

“But we dated when we were her age-” You deadpanned at him,

“Grounded! My final answer!”

R A N

Ran was coming home from a late night bonten meeting, mouth agape when he saw his daughter’s feet dangling out from her window.

Fearing the worst he sprinted to the ground below his child, hands outstretched to catch her if she were to misstep.

“Mitsuri!” His voice boomed,

“Eh? Dad?!” His daughter stuttered, slowly slid out the window, climbing down like she had done this many times prior to this awkward occurrence.

Toes easily touching the grass with ease, not a scratch upon the females porcelain skin.

“Ran?” You yawned, cracking the door ajar. It was late, you waking up to your husband's screams outside your house.

“Mitsuri, what are you doing climbing out your window like a maniac?!” Ran scowled, hands running through his messed up hair. Sweat dripping down his temple from the not so pleasant adrenaline rush.

“I was just gonna hang out with some friends..” your daughter answered, fingers gripping the edge of her shirt, scarily waiting for her dad’s reaction.

“At this time of night? .. out your window?”

“Ye-”

“Phone privileges. Give me it.” Ran demanded, palm stretched out.

“But-” no question she was a tad bit spoiled by her father. You being the bad cop, while your husband played the good cop for his beloved daughter.

“If you want to go anywhere all you got to do is ask!” Ran plucked the phone from his daughter's hand, a wave of relief washing over him. Secretly thanking whatever being watching over him that it wasn't some sort of gang related subject.

“This is what you get for spoiling her!” You laughed from the sidelines, hand clutching your stomach.

“This is your fault too ya know!” Ran argued.

“I’m the one who tries to discipline her! But someone always lets it go!” You emphasized the special somebody.

“Whatever” Ran sighed, This was a lesson for the usual carefree man, a special lesson he wouldn't forget in the many years to come with his unborn future children.

S A N Z U

It was Sanzu’s best day of his life when his daughters were born, the two only being about one year apart. They were spoiled to the core, anything they wanted their money liberl father blessed them with. He thought they were the sweetest things ever, them both being a daddy's girl after all.

He never would have expected to see both of his daughters outside his humble abode, standing beside two boys, most likely a double date.

He stared in shock, hands pressed firmly against the glass, teeth gritting.

“Huh? I tucked them into bed an hour ago” You rubbed your eyes, riding yourself of the sleepiness threatening to drown you. The pink haired only tutted his teeth, swifty twisting the door knob to confront the four children outside.

“Oh you better run” your oldest daughter whispered, gesturing for the boys to make haste from her deadly father.

“You better not come back here, unless you want trouble you fuckers!” Sanzu yelled, red in the eyes from anger. Not bothering to chase after the two scoundrels.

“Dad, mom! What are you guys doing awake?” Your youngest asked, sheer panic in her eyes, watching her insane fathers unpleasant smile.

“I swear you two will be the death of me” Sanzu uttered, shoving his hands into his pockets. A irked gleen in his orbs as he stared them down.

“They were just friends dad, stop overreacting” the older daughter said,

“I- You little shi-” He bit his lip to suppress his anger fueled words, knowing well it would definitely hurt his precious children's feelings. Having regretted it later if he were to say those sinful words.

“Now now Sanzu, let's head to bed” You wrapped your arms around your lover, dragging him inside the house.

“You can sort out their punishment tomorrow, after a good night's sleep” , coating him with reassuring words. That day he learned how misjudged he was of his children, even so he still loved them with all his heart.

I Z A N A

Izana had his feet kicked up, relaxing in his office while he watched the moon. He had a clear view, the street lamps positioned next to the sidewalk, the side of his beautiful house facing his office window. He was enjoying his free time, mind taking over his body while he thought about his life choices. He was in ease until he saw his son's window light up, a long string of rope being tossed out the opening.

Sitting up from his chair, he rushed over to his clear casement. Throwing his window open, a boy and girl standing beneath his son's window. The two holding the rope still as your child tried to slid down.

“My my Yuki, where are you off to?” Izana laughed, nerves finally relaxing when he figured out what was going on. Calmly settling into the frame, head leaning on his chin. It wasn't like he had the right to be upset, he did much worse when he was his son's age. Robbing, fighting, killing. You name it, Izana’s done it.

Sneaking out was nothing compared to what he did, but he wasn't gonna just let his son go. He was more wise now, he knew for a fact he didn't want his son to end up anything like him. Sure, he wanted the boy to have fun, but in a normal kid way.

“Dad! Um- I”

“You better get your arse back up that window before I drag you around with that rope” Izana smiled, Totally different from the sentence he was portraying. Not forgetting his manners, giving a nonchalant wave to the other two kids.

“Zana? Who are you talking to?” You asked, placing a cup of tea you had prepared for Izana on his desk.

“Oh no one doll” Izana answered, closing the window before walking over to you.

“Let's go to bed, yeah?” He proposed, trailing his hands around your shoulders, guiding you to the door.

“But the tea I made”

“Im tired~”

Overall the male wouldn't want to talk further about the situation, nor would he discuss it with you. Trivial matters held no place between you both, as long as the child did not dare do it again.

I N U I

Inui wiped the sweat dripping from his forehead, the AC wasnt working at the motor shop. Him, draken and yourself were sweating bullets, the hot material around you not helping. You had decided to help the pair around the shop, cleaning what you could. Or helping with cashing every customer out, it would've been an easy task if it wasn't blazing hot.

Leaving your daughter home alone, obviously thinking she’d stay and do her teenage things. You couldn't be more mistaken, astounded as you watched her fiddle around with a boy across the street at the ice cream parlor.

“Y/N please don't tell me that Kagura..” Inui’s jaw dropped, the wrench that was once in his clasp dropping to the ground. Startling the concentrating Draken that was crouched over a motorbike.

“What's wrong Inui? Y/N” Draken twisted his body around, raising a brow when you two just started muttering to each other like two creeps.

“Is that... a boy” Inui held his chin between his fingers, squinting to get a better view of his kid.

“You trying to catch flies with your mouth Inui? Close your yap” You whispered,

“Y/N! She's too young, I feel like I just held her in my arms not too long ago. She can't get married just yet!” Inui argued, he would've been on the verge of tears if he didn't have a reputation to uphold.

“What? The fuck are you on Inui? She's probably just with a friend!” You patted his back, reassuring the man.

“Boys and girls can be friends ya’know” you added.

Cueing the two children across the road from you, feeding scoops of ice cream to each other.

“I don't think friends do that..” Inui looked over at you, eyes widening when you swung the motor shop’s door open. Hands coming around your mouth to amplify your words,

“Kagura, is that your boyfriend?”

“WHAT?” Inui almost fainted, the ledge behind him holding his wobbly frame up right.

“I didn't know you guys would be here!” Your daughter jogged across the street, leaving the boy sitting by himself.

“And no! Just a friend” She answered your embarrassing, blushing as she stared down at the ground.,

“I sense some lies” you wiggled playfully at the flustered girl.

“What! Anyways, Sorry I left the house without telling you” Kagura apologized,

“Just don't do it again, without my permission..” Inui stated,

“Especially not with a boy.”

K O K O N O I

Bribing people is his forte, and if they did not obliged? Threatening always did the trick.

And that's exactly what he did when he saw his descendant out with a male. All was dandy until the boy came running back, babbling about how his girl was the so called ‘love of his life’.

“Hey brat, you got a death wish?” Kokonoi asked, leaning against the door frame.

“Koko go easy on him, he’s just a kid” You nudged the man, a mischievous grin plastered on the males face.

“And I kinda think it's cute” You said, a small smile erupting from your daughter that was not so far behind her parents.

“I approve, kid! I like your romantic drive!” You clapped,

“Y/N!” Kokonoi pouted,

“You better not try to bribe him with money again” You threatened, waving a finger at the whiny man.

“Yeah! I like him too, dad!” Your daughter agreed.

“You're like twelve, go play chess or something” Kokonoi barked, crossing his arms in disapproval.

“Dad, I'm sixteen!”

“That's what I said”

S O U Y A

He almost had a panic attack at the sight, having to shield the man from the scene playing out. Your twin daughter saying their goodbyes to their dates, followed by a kiss. You removed your hand when the boys were no longer in view, riding off in their motorcycles.

“Shira, Nihra” You held Souya up by the shoulder, the light headed male limping towards the worried kids.

“What's wrong with dad?” Nihra questioned, eyeing her ghostly pale father.

“He's out of it” You giggled,

“I'm not crazy am i?” He stood tall, letting go of the arm you had draped around him.

“There was boys-” His voice cracked.

“You saw that dad?” Shira sweat dropped, watching as her fathers should leave his body.

“Next time ask before you go out” You smiled, you weren't too strict on the two. They were Souya’s children, earning most of their adorable traits from him. Even his fighting skills.

“This better not happen again, i'm trusting you” Souya grumbled.

“Sorry pops” The two girls remorsefully sollied the man, both hooking onto one of Souya’s arms as they helped his shell into the house.

N A H O Y A

Nahoya was beyond pissed, infamous smile widening. Taking fast steps towards your daughter and her significant other.

“Look boy, I don't know who you are. But my daughters not up for grabs” Nahoya grinned, cracking his fingers.

“O-okay sir” the boy was jittering, body trembling from the males intense arua.

“If I catch ya here again” he used his finger to slash his neck, motioning to the death that would happily greet the boy if they were to ever meet again.

“Yer dead meat kiddo” Nahoya laughed, watching as the boy ran for his life.

“Dad, that was really extra!” Your daughter sneered, a pout on her lips.

“Shut up!, you're grounded rat!” Nahoya shouted.

“Yeah Nahoya, there was no need to threaten the poor kid. He looked like he was gonna piss himself.”

“Exactly the effect i wanted”

End Note : as I said this was a word barf T-T, so it’s quite short.

Reblogs & Notes are always appreciated! Take care! ♡︎♡︎

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bumbleklee · 4 years ago

Note

HELLO!!! Can you do the reader that feels like a second choice for zhongli, kaeya, Childe, and xiao?

baby ur a shining star (cut for length + reader is gn)

zhongli

after hearing about guizhong and her relationship with zhongli, you had a sinking feeling in your stomach

you couldn't help but wonder if he was still in love with her and you were being used as a place holder to pass time

around the anniversary of her death, zhongli became distant from you and it sent you spiraling

for days, you didn't come out of your apartment and you weren't planning on it anytime soon until zhongli came by to see if you were still alive

He had a key to your apartment. You knew that - you gave it to him - and yet, you were still surprised when he sat down on the edge of your bed.

You nearly jumped out of your skin when you felt a large hand caress your shoulder over your duvet. "Zhongli?"

"Are you sick?" He asks instantly, reaching forward to touch your forehead. You lean out of his touch and sit up in bed, grasping the blanket still. You keep your gaze down.

"No," You say quietly.

"Then, where have you been?" He asks.

"Where have I been? Where have you been?" You demand, frowning. Zhongli had been more than distant to you over the past week. You could hardly see him for more than five minutes before he was rushing you away so he could take a walk through the forest alone. And he had cancelled your dates!

Zhongli frowned himself and looked away, "I apologize. I've had a lot on my mind."

"So have I," You say. You cross your arms, "Is there someone else?"

The words float of your mouth to carelessly and Zhongli looks taken aback. "Someone else? Of course not."

"What about Guizhong?"

There's a silence in the bedroom and Zhongli peers at your face for a moment. His expression is unreadable and you wish you hadn't spoken the words you did. Suddenly, his hand reaches out again and lands on yours this time.

"Y/N, Guizhong was a good friend of mine many years ago. I mourn for her passing but you are my future," He tells you, "Please understand that you are the only one I care for now."

kaeya

dating kaeya came with anxiety and worries

he was a very attractive man and his personality was more than flirty at times

it wasn't rare to see him shake off multiple women or men at the tavern or on the streets of mondstadt after they had drank a little too much

you knew he would never betray you, he loved you too much, but when you saw how much affection he received from strangers, your heart couldn't help but ache

You knew going out to the tavern with Kaeya would only end in an argument. He was by your side for no more than ten minutes before some Knights pulled him to their table. You clenched your jaw and sat at the bar alone, Diluc sending you a sympathetic smile.

Your eyes ghosted behind you often and the sight of a woman wrapping her arms around Kaeya's waist had you fuming silently. You gripped the glass in your hand and your feet moved on their own. You grabbed Kaeya by his arm and dragged his tipsy body out the door without a word.

"What did I do?" He slurred, "I wasn't done hanging out."

You gave Kaeya the silent treatment as you walked home and he lingered like a lost puppy behind you. When you both had changed into your pajamas and Kaeya tried to spoon you like he did every night, you pushed him away.

Dejected, Kaeya sat up. "What did I do?" He asked again, more sober this time.

"Why don't you go ask your girlfriend from the bar?" You snapped.

"Come on," Kaeya groaned, "We've talked about this. I can't control what other people do."

"I don't care."

You crossed your arms tightly and laid down in bed, your back facing Kaeya. You felt a familiar warm feeling in your chest and your bottom lip quivered slightly, your eyes filling with tears.

Kaeya's arms were around you the second he heard you sniffle. "What's the matter?" He asked seriously.

"You're not going to leave me, right?" You asked, spinning around in his arms.

He cocked an eyebrow at you, "What? Of course not." He leaned close to your face and pressed his nose against yours. "Is this what this is all about?"

You only nodded.

"I love you," Kaeya continued, "And no one, not even that lady from the tavern, is going to come between us. Got it?"

childe

when you first started dating childe, he made you promise that you understood that his work came first

and you did because, frankly, you didn't think you would ever be second choice to the duties of a fatui harbinger

but the more involved you became with childe, the more you realized that maybe you had bit off more you could chew

Childe had stood you up the second time that week. You waited at the Liyue Pavilion for over an hour until you realized he wasn't coming and went home, utterly devastated.

When he finally returned home to you, it was early in the morning and you were half asleep on the couch. The sound of him closing the door woke you up and you only frowned at him. Childe tried to reach over to you to give you a kiss but you peeled away from him.

"I'm sorry for not making it, Y/N," Childe began, "I just -"

"Got caught up with work," You finished.

He looked down at his shoes and you looked elsewhere too. This exact scenario was happening too often and you weren't sure how much you could take of it. And Childe seemed to have similar thoughts as he sat beside you on the couch.

"I'm really sorry," He tried again.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better, Ajax? Because it doesn't."

He clicked his tongue. "You're right," He said, "Listen, Y/N. I think we should end things before I really can't be there for you. Things are only picking up from here."

There was a silence. "Yeah," You agreed.

"You'll find a nice person one day that won't be so involved with what I do," He chides, "Anyone would be lucky enough to call you theirs."

You wanted that person to be Childe. Except, Childe was just like every other guy out there. He told you he loved you yet couldn't even make you his priority.

xiao

similar to childe, it isn't a person that makes you feel like second best

in xiao's case, it's his duties as the yaksha that bury worries deep in your heart

he's not around most nights and during the day, he's always on edge and distant

you've become accustom to his routine but you weren't sure how much more you could take of it

For once, Xiao stayed home with you at night. You had cooked dinner and even though Xiao hated mortal food, he shoved it down for you. The two of you stayed up to watch the sunrise on the roof and you fell asleep in his arms.

When you woke up in a cold sweat hours later, Xiao was gone. Your window was open, the wind rushing in, and you frowned deeply. You sat up in bed, rubbing your forehead. He couldn't even stay the night.

"Xiao..." You whispered into the night. "Xiao?"

In a second, your partner stood in front of the bed. "What's wrong?"

"You left me," You scowled, standing up to shut the window. Your feet stomped against the cold floor with too much emphasis. Xiao didn't respond so you snapped your eyes towards him. He was just staring at you. "Do you even love me anymore?"

He was taken aback by your words, "Huh? Of course I do."

"Then why don't you show it?" Your tone had fell drastically and you held back your tears.

Xiao was beside you in moments, his hands cradling your face gently. His eyes searched yours crazily and you felt the urge to pull away but refrained.

"I'm new at this," He whispered, "I'm trying."

You sighed, "Well, try harder."

He nodded, "I will."

Once you had vented a bit longer, Xiao lead you back to bed and wrapped his arms around you once again. When you woke up in the morning, you were throughly surprised to find him next to you still.

a/n sorry u break up in childes

1K notes · View notes

nohoney · 2 years ago

Text

is it so bad if you need me?

notes: oof i kid you not i changed this story like four times to fit what i think i wanted out of it and that’s partly why it took so long. there were three different drafts i made and did a lot of revising. two of them too wordy and one another that was too complicated but whoo, it’s finally released. childhood friend keigo had my heart in a death grip for a while and i just want to be so soft with him, especially after seeing the side chapter about him coming home to no one (cries for him).

warnings: 18+, angsty if you squint your eyes you might be able to see some fluff, pining, slight age gap (3 years), reader has low self esteem, drug use, one mention of domestic violence, somewhat unhealthy relationship (but not necessarily toxic), sort of dubcon, soft-ish sex

words: 11.1k

summary:

“I love you.”

You choke back a sob and shake your head, brokenly asking, “Why?”

Does he need a reason to give?

He just does.

When he was a kid, a gap of three years made the biggest difference to Keigo.

He’d seen you like an older sister to him, holding his hand to lead him around, petting his head and telling him good job when he showed you the scribble of his name on paper, and even carrying him on your back when the two of you got tired playing at the park and it was time to get back to your neighborhood. You seemed like the most amazing girl on the planet to him as he remembers fond memories of you climbing at the top of the jungle gym or also buying him an ice cream bar from the nearby convenience store. Even despite your shitty home life, Keigo never thought you were anything less than the smartest and prettiest girl he had ever met.

You were seven and he was four, the two of you peeking your heads out your neighboring windows late at night to ask each other what you managed to eat for dinner or if either of you thought the adults in your life would let the kids get a bit of rest. If it was really bad, sometimes one of you would sneak into the other’s apartment so the two of you could comfort each other though it was mostly you who would make the climb to his room by the thankfully large enough ledge because you didn’t want your young kid neighbor risking his life to get to you. You were always okay going to Keigo, looking so brave and fearless when you’d climb out the window on the second story from your room and scale the ledge to get to his and looking so proud when you’d land in front of him. “See kid, you didn’t have to worry ‘bout me! I’m older than ya so I got more balance to do that!”

When he was that age, Keigo would dream about doing the things you seemed to pull off effortlessly. You ran so fast through the park, you were the best at hide and seek, you knew exactly which spots to put your foot on the tree you were climbing on to get to the lowest branch, he thought you knew it all. Those memories make him smile still and you were everything to him, the best person the world ever gave him.

But you were just a kid too living in a shitty apartment with shitty parents and just barely able to make it along. As many memories he has of you smiling and laughing, there’s so much more of you when you were sad and so tired of the world. He could see your sadness when you’d come out after getting yelled at by your parents, he’d watch your shoulders sag with exhaustion when you’d find your father passed out drunk at the front door after you came back from school, and Keigo remembers you holding back tears watching your father walk out of your life at the age of ten.

You would later climb through the window of his room that same night, telling him to scoot over and make room for you in his small bed. “I hope you’re always there for me, you’re the only good guy in my life Kiego.”

Keigo promised you at seven years old, taking your hand in his smaller one and saying, “(Name) I’ll always be here for you.”

Because you were his best friend so of course he was going to be by your side no matter what.

But three years makes such a difference when you’re a kid.

When you went off to middle school, you and Keigo were no longer walking together. You were seeing him less, not as eager to hang out with him when you came back from school and suddenly it felt like he didn’t know you as well anymore. The invisible wall of differences had been built up before he could realize it and he didn’t know how to reach you. When he was ten and you were thirteen, Keigo remembers sitting next to you at a bench in the park you and him always used to play at. And you looked out indifferently at the jungle gym you had outgrown playing on and let out a wistful sigh up to the sky. He remembers feeling awkward because he didn’t know how to talk to you anymore, you didn’t want to talk to him when he asked you what was wrong. He didn’t understand the beginnings of teenage angst and he certainly didn’t understand being a thirteen year old girl. “(Name)… should I go?”

And you had looked at him with tired eyes, your hands shoved into the pockets of your jacket and shrugged your shoulders. “Up to you kid, I don’t care.”

You said that but Keigo saw that you did care, that you looked ready to cry if he were to walk away. And he promised you that he would always be there for you so he stayed, tentatively reaching his hand out to your hand shoved in your pocket and held it in his. You didn’t talk to him like you used to but the silence of his gesture to you spoke so loud, your hand squeezing his and sitting together until it was time to go back home.

Keigo remembers hearing you and your mother arguing through the walls, you had just learned to curse at the age of fourteen and screamed at her, “I wish I had never been born from your evil cunt!”

And there was a loud slap and a deafening silence that followed after. You didn’t leave the apartment for three days and refused to open the door when Keigo knocked on it or was sent away by your mother. And he worried for you, climbing the ledge to get to your bedroom window and gently knocked on the glass. When Keigo was so much younger the ledge seemed like the biggest obstacle that you wouldn’t let him climb and at eleven years old, he learned bravery from you so that he could climb that ledge to reach you. And he thought you would send him away but you let him in, telling him to be quiet as he stepped into your messy bedroom.

Keigo laid facing you on the floor of your room, a fading bruise on your cheek that even though he tried to be gentle when touching it you still hissed. But when he tried to take his hand back, you let him hold your cheek and placed your hand over his. “You’re still the only good thing in my life Keigo, I want you to know that.”

“I’m still here for you (Name).”

You weeped in front of him until you fell asleep and Keigo put a blanket over you, caring more for your comfort rather than his. Because you were important to him and despite how different you were to him, Keigo still cared and he wanted nothing more than to grow up fast so that he could protect you.

But you were still three years ahead of him, making experiences in the wrong places.

The first time you took a pill was when you were seventeen.

He didn’t see you for two days after some party you said you were sneaking out to but when he knocked on your door and you opened it, Keigo could tell that you were different. You had told him all about it, your first roll that lasted two days and you were sluggish from the comedown. “I hadn’t been happy like that in a long time, Keigo it was crazy good.”

He listened to you go on about your first roll, how connected you felt to the people around you and that you were so in touch with your feelings you cried a few times. It sounded exhilarating, like you had the time of your life so Keigo was curious and asked if he could ever try rolling too. But you shook your head and gave him a weak smile. “Nah, this stuff isn’t for you. You’re a good kid, best to stay away from doing those things.” You told him and then made your way over to the couch in your living room, holding up your arms to him and beckoning him over. “C’mere, let’s snuggle. We haven’t done that since we were kids.”

But it was different when you were kids, it felt different now as teenagers as you rubbed your hand over Keigo’s back and cooed over how soft his hair felt. “You should let me style it someday, I bet if I did you’d get lotsa girls after you.” You said when you swept his bangs back from his forehead. “You were such a cute kid, I know you’re gonna be such a heartbreaker once you’re finished with puberty and shit.”

And despite how tired you were, the exhaustion is so evident in your voice but you tell him this with such soft sentiment that Keigo would only believe it coming from you.

When he’s right at the edge of eighteen and you’re twenty-one, Keigo frets over if you will ever see him as more than just your kid neighbor. When you call him kid despite being taller than you now, it leaves him both soft for you but also annoyed. Soft because that was your name for him and you’d never called anyone else that; annoyed because well… he’s not a kid. He wanted you to see him as a young man, to see him the way you saw your fuck buddies and the assholes you’d stay late out at night for and come back in the morning from a walk of shame.

But you come home still to the dingy apartment complex the two of you had always lived in, you came back to Keigo when you were crashing from snorting lines, when the molly is out of your system and you’re too depressed to even eat, when you’ve been up for more than 24 hours and needing someone to talk to, you lean on Keigo and tell him he’s still the only good thing in your life when dumbass exes accost you or when canceled fuck buddies come back hoping to start anew.

“I’m such a mess, I feel like a fuckin’ mess Keigo.” you mumbled into a pillow as he stroked your hair. “I’m so frustrated! I-I don’t like myself…” you peek your eyes up at him and his heart thumps in his chest when you tell him, “You’re so good kid, you know how amazing you are? How did I get so lucky to have you?”

Keigo frowned at you, he never once thought of you as anything but the girl he loves. You talk down on yourself all while uplifting Keigo, you think he’s such a golden boy since he’s going to university on a scholarship and you always tell him that he’s been a good kid. But you don’t know how he picked up smoking cigarettes from his mother to deal with his own stress, that he fucks girls wishing they were you and drops them with no explanation, that he dreams of hurting all the men that hurt you in your life and he wants to be the only man in your eyes.

You’ve told him yourself, he’s the only good guy in your life.

One day when was taking care of you while you were hungover, a memory surfaced to his mind. “Do you remember when you used to cross the ledge to get to my room when we were kids? When our parents wouldn’t let us see each other after seven but we still wanted to play, you’d cross that ledge and tell me that one day I’d be able to do it too.” he asked quietly. You nodded your head in confirmation and he said, “I thought it was one of the coolest things you did for me back then.”

“Keigo, I was actually terrified to climb that ledge when I was kid. I was always scared that I might fall to the concrete whenever I did it.” you admitted to him.

All those times you put on a brave face, but if you were scared then why did you still do it?

“I was scared to climb that ledge but I did it because I wanted to be with you. I loved you enough to do that for you.” you peeked up at him and told him, “I love you, you know that kid? I love you.”

I’m not a kid.

“I love you too dove.”

The nickname caught you off guard and you looked back at him, almost with uncertainty and you appeared to be a little nervous the more he stared back at you. “Dove? Is that supposed to be me?” You asked with a little laugh to try to ease yourself.

“Do you not like it?” He asked with a little tilt of his head.

“Well… it’s not that. I guess maybe it’s just… it doesn’t fit right for me? Don’t they symbolize being pure or something?”

“Purity, gentleness, beauty.” Keigo answers without hesitation. Deep beneath the layers of hurt you’ve gone through, he still sees that little girl he grew up with that wants freedom and was so brave and his best friend at heart. He sees past this party girl that you’ve become and knows that you’re just trying to hide the pain you’ve gone through, getting lost in temporary highs and running away from the sadness that hadn’t gone away since it first arrived. “Peace and love too.”

Again, you appear uncertain as you glance back at him before you laugh to ease the tension you feel. “I don’t feel like it fits but if you wanna call me that, I won’t stop you Keigo.”

“If you really don’t like it, I won’t say it. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” Keigo stands a little closer to you, his heart thrumming in his chest so hard but he’s composed on the outside. “You can be honest with me, you know. I’m not like those guys you date.”

I’m better than all of them, I’m better for you.

You seem to mull it over before nodding your head, gently nudging your shoulder against his and giving him a small smile. “Hm okay, only just because it comes from you. You’re my special guy, the only good guy in my entire life.”

“Swear to me?” Keigo chuckles and dares to put his arm around your shoulder. When he feels your arm curl around your waist and you tuck yourself against his body, he feels like the luckiest guy in the world. He still has some growing up to do but he’ll mature fast so that he can take care of you. You may be three years older than him but the numbers matter a little bit less now that he’s turned twenty and you’re twenty three. He’s grateful that the age gap isn’t too big between you and him. “You know I’m always gonna be here for you, right (Name)?”

“I hope so kid, I hope so…”

Keigo loves you, but one of the difficult things about you in the last few years is how you come needing him and then pull away so suddenly when he tries to care for you. You play this hot-and-cold game with him at times that leaves him wondering what exactly you want from him. He knows what he wants: He’s trying to be a good man for you, being with you is his end goal, but it hurts when you push him away. Keigo refuses to be one of those pushy guys that you’ve cursed out before in front of him, choosing instead to be patient and wait for you to come to him. “I’m here for you, you can talk to me.”

“I know but…”

“But what?”

“… You wouldn’t get it. You’re too young.”

Now that he’s older, three years doesn’t make the biggest difference to him but to you it matters, pointing out the gap whenever you want to claim silence on a subject and that he’s ‘too young’ to get it.

You were silent for two weeks after that, worrying him to bits and pieces and not letting him in once more. Keigo was sitting in front of his shitty laptop and typing away when his phone rings and your name is at the top. He had never grabbed his phone and answered so fast before, “Dove, are you okay?!”

“Keigo, Keigo, Keigo come see me!” You shout through the phone.

You sounded… happy.

He surmised that you’re on something again and it’s disappointing but he’s happy that you’re contacting him. Keigo abandons his schoolwork in favor of going after you, driving up to a house in a ritzy neighborhood that he would have never dreamed of stepping foot in. He thought for sure that him crashing would be a problem but no one seemed to question when he came in through the front door. Instead he gets lustful looks from the girls and a few judgmental glares from the guys, but no one dares to approach. The last text he got from you was you saying that you’d be somewhere upstairs but when he texted back to let you know his arrival, his message went unopened.

So Keigo has to search upstairs, jiggling the doorknobs and awkwardly knocking while asking for your name. And he hears you giggling behind the very last door at the end of the hallway, he can recognize it anywhere, and he knocks to announce his arrival.

You’re laying on the floor with several people surrounding you, a slight haze in the room from some of the people vaping inside the room. “Dove, I’m here.”

“Keigo!” You sit up quickly and turn towards him. He recognizes your blown out pupils and your dopey, lovesick smile. “I’ve missed you!”

You’re on ecstasy again.

He leans down and holds out his arms for you to grab onto. This is no place for you, despite these parties being your scene, and he’s going to take you back where you are safest. “C’mon, I’m here to take you home. Grab onto my arms and let’s go.”

Some of them beg that you stay, noticing how they reach out to try to tug you back into the circle. Keigo is thankful that you’re more interested in being with him instead and that there’s no fighting from your end to stay with this crowd. As he’s making sure that you have everything that you’re supposed to have on you, he hears one of the people in the circle say, “This is him huh? Your neighbor friend that you always gush about.”

Keigo’s heart skips a beat; you talk about him?

You giggle and lean onto him after you’ve pulled on your shoes. “Look at him, he’s my best guy ever. Kei is sooo smart and handsome and he’s mine.”

Mine.

He knows it’s the drugs that are making you extra lovey, what you’re saying isn’t necessarily new information, but it’s how you say it that strikes a chord with him. It’s the way that you say that you’re his that makes him fall even harder for you, Keigo would have kissed you silly if it weren’t for all these strangers around. He does want to be alone with you as soon as possible, even if you’re rolling he hopes to have a one-on-one conversation with you and maybe the pill that you took will make you more honest with him.

Keigo’s sure to buckle you in the passenger seat first before he gets on the driver’s side. He’s handled you before when you’re on a comedown and crashing but you’re at the peak of your roll, still doped up and you’re so touchy that it’s distracting him. You’re leaning over to his side, cooing over how pretty his eyes are and wanting to lay your head down.

“Dove, dove please sit in your seat.” He pleads to you, getting more nervous the more handsy you become. You thread your fingers through his hair, you touch his arms, lean in to kiss his cheek, and you can’t stop babbling about how much you love him. When you whine about wanting to lay down, he offers to pull over and lay you down in the backseat but you whine petulantly and insist on staying by his side. “C’mon, we’ll be home soon and then you can lay down.”

“No Kei, wanna lay my head in your lap…” you mumble as you unbuckle your seatbelt and lay down as comfortably as you can, mindful of the emergency brake in the middle and make yourself comfy with your head in his lap. “Pet my head please.”

What can he do but let you do as you please, hopeful that he doesn’t get pulled over as he smooths his hand over your hair per your request and drives a little slower.

It’s the usual routine of him taking care of you, only this time it was the very first time he was caring for you while you were rolling. The only thing he knows from what you told him is that you need to stay hydrated and just be watched over.

When he leads you to his room, he checks his mother’s room quickly to see if she was sleeping only to find her not in bed. It’s nothing unusual and he knows that she’ll most likely return in the morning wherever she’s at. He’s indifferent to her whereabouts as long as she returns safe and sound. Right now his focus on is caring for you and he needs to stay awake to watch over you.

His eyes naturally follow your movements when your hands move to your hips but he realizes quickly that you’re pushing your pants off your legs so he looks away to give you some decency. “I can go to your apartment and fetch your clothes for you.” he offers.

You shake your head and mumble, “S’okay, this is fine…”

It’s really not, Keigo’s never seen you in an undressed state the entire time you and him have been neighbors.

You kick off your pants but thankfully you keep your t-shirt on, although not without peeling your bra off from underneath and throwing the flimsy white lace somewhere in his room. You smile at him and tilt your head, pointing your leg out towards him and circling your ankle. “Massage please?”

Keigo sighs as he glances over at his laptop and knows that he’ll have to spend another day working on his assignments. He’s already a little ahead so one night of slacking won’t kill his GPA so quickly. What’s more important is watching over you and being alongside you until your roll is over, which won’t be for another few hours. So he kneels before you, gently grasping the leg you had pointed out and carefully runs his hands over your calves but tenses when you let out a moan and your hips shift in a certain way that makes him think-

“More Kei, please? Feels good.” You ask breathily and nudge your leg against him.

He does so again but with less pressure in hopes that you won’t make such a tempting sound in front of him again. At first he’s silent, not knowing how to start a conversation with you. You save him the trouble when you admit out loud, “I missed you kid.”

“Missed me?” He echoes back in question.

“Yeah, missed you. I jus’ was kinda in my head again, ya know?” You tell him this and pull back the keg he was holding to switch to the other one. “I know you’re here for me but sometimes I just sorta break down and gotta have some space. But I always want you Keigo, I always do. I hope you know how much I love you.”

He wants to confess how in love he is with you but he’s not sure if this is the right moment. So he reciprocates the sentiment and lays your leg down, deciding that if he’s gonna be up to tripsit then he has to make himself some coffee. “I’ll be back (Name).”

“Okay.” You sing out and lay back on his bed, rolling your head back and forth on his pillow and staring up at the ceiling.

Keigo starts up a pot of coffee and runs a hand down his face, unsure if he’ll be strong enough to resist you and all your sentiments that are going to come pouring out. You have no idea how badly he wants you, you have no clue that it hurts him how you sleep around to forget your sorrows, and he wants you to see him as more than just your kid neighbor. Now that he’s older he understands your depression and your desire to feel loved, even if it’s through unhealthy coping mechanisms.

“Not now, not while she’s like this.” He whispers to himself, combing a hand through his blonde hair. Maybe he can touch on some topics but for the most part, he’s aware to tread carefully over what he speaks about. There’s a time and place to bare himself open and have an honest conversation; he just doesn’t know when is ever a good time. When you’re sober you’re all clammed up, but when you’re high or drunk he sometimes can’t have a proper conversation with you. And of course on a comedown, all you want to do is rest and have some space to gather yourself together again.

With a hot mug of coffee in hand, he makes his way back to his room and gently shuts the door behind him. He takes a sip of coffee, tasting the vanilla creamer he splashed in with his beverage, and hopes that it will be enough to keep him awake.

“Hey, close your eyes.” You hop up on your feet from the bed and stand directly in front of him.

“What?”

You take the mug from his hands and set it down on his desk. “Close your eyes.”

“Uh okay…” Keigo follows your command and shuts his eyes. He twitches when he feels your hands circle around his neck and he thinks that you’re just giving him a hug. When your lips touch against his, Keigo is startled but not enough to push you away. He’s frozen and when your tongue prods his lips, he opens without thinking and he deepens the kiss. This wasn’t what he expected from you but he doesn’t want to dare stop it. Who cares that you’re on a pill?

Before he can even pull you even closer to him, you separate yourself from him.

“(Name)...”

“I’m sorry, that was so stupid! I didn’t…” you say softly and with a look of guilt, just now realizing your actions and that there wasn’t a way to turn back. You pull away from him and wring your hands together, your eyes struggling to focus on him as you look anywhere else but at him. “I’m so sorry Keigo, I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay, don’t be upset.” he assures you but he’s also struggling to hold back the biggest smile on his face.

“No, it was wrong! I shouldn’t have done that! I’m so dumb!” You are adamant in chastising yourself and Keigo is aware that the more you spiral, the worse you will get. So he decided that since you crossed that boundary then he’s not going to bother to uphold his end; he kisses you.

You’re tense at first when he first presses his lips to yours. When he pulls back, you seem uncertain at first from the kiss but the more you gaze into Keigo’s eyes, your inhibition lowers and you pull him down by the collar of his shirt to kiss again. Your lips are soft, softer than he had expected and when Keigo pulls you into him by your hips, he can’t help but feel that your body is a perfect match for him.

He knows that you are meant for him.

“Don’t be mad at me Kei, please don’t be mad.” you whisper against his lips.

Never, he could never be mad with you.

You’ve hurt him before though, time and time again.

He’s never craved a large circle of people to be his friends, he much prefers to just be more to himself and he wants to be around you. But you have a life outside of him, partying with men who promise you an extra half gram if you just be extra sweet to them, they prey on you when you’re frustrated and feening when you’re down in the dumps and you’re searching for something to uplift you. He’s watched you break down white powder underneath a bill and cut neat lines before you snort them, letting out a satisfied sigh and bask in the short euphoria.

“Come here (Name), come here…”

You can’t stop calling his name, switching between the insecurity that he might be upset with you and then showering him with the kindest words you’ve ever given to him. It’s more than just your average fondness between two kids who grew up together; it feels like so much more than that. Keigo’s never dared to touch you so close until now, had never done more than just a lingering hug or a reassuring hand squeeze, he presses you so close to his body at your insistence when you need to feel the close. And when you pull back, suddenly reluctant and conflicted over how you fuss over him, he pulls you back in and says, “Stay.”

And when you try to protest, he kisses it away and repeats his command.

Stay.

He wants you to want him, not just when you’re on a comedown from coke or a pill, he wants you to want him the way you want your drugs. He wants you to want him in the way you’d do anything for just the smallest taste to satisfy you when you’re going through a rough time and overwhelmed with emotions. You rant to him about your woes, he’s wiped away your tears when you were frustrated, he holds you when you ask for his embrace, Keigo does anything and would do everything for you in the hopes you’d see behind his actions was more than just long standing fondness for you. But you leave him behind to indulge in things that you think will make you happy, you love the parties and the high that comes along with attending them and what’s passed around to you after slyly slipping some cash in hand or in a pocket, and Keigo waits for you to come back to care for you all over again and hopes the next time you’ll see his affection that he’s too shy to voice but it shouts so loud with every service he gives you.

His love for you is so evident in his eyes but you don’t see it, you don’t see it because you fall asleep with him when you’re sleeping off the alcohol or need to rest from crashing off whatever you took. You don’t see how he looks at you with so much affection as he puts a blanket over you and pets your head while you snooze. Keigo wants you to know that his feelings aren’t just a fondness for you or the admiration of a younger person to their senior; he wants you to know how in love he is with you.

Keigo always has been.

It’s just you and him in his room, holding each other so tightly despite your feverish body, his hands running over your tense muscles and crooning sentimental words to one another. He won’t lie that he’s slightly unnerved whenever he sees your eyes twitch and roll to the back of your head unnaturally sometimes. This is one of the ugly sides to the pills you always insisted he never ever take part in.

But there’s still the beautiful part of it which is how loving and affectionate you’re being and Keigo wishes he could drown in it.

“You’re so good kid… so fuckin’ good.” You mumble against his lips before going in for another kiss, scrunching your hand through his hair and nuzzling his head against yours. “I jus’ wanna— I wanna stay like this forever with you!”

It’s the pill that is making you so gooey with affection but Keigo knows that underneath it that you would always turn to him to remind yourself of the very few things in your life that have stayed by your side. That as far away as you have run, you’ve always come back to him and remind him how much you cherish him.

He’s always kept his promise to you.

I’ll always be here for you.

Keigo takes charge of the kiss, not the slow sensual ones you and him have been sharing but a kiss that he pours his soul into.

A kiss that tastes like the love he’d been holding onto for years.

He wants it shoved into your throat and for you to choke on it.

Even despite the euphoric haze from the pill, you’re startled by the intensity that’s pouring out and it makes you pull back. You barely manage to stutter out his name before Keigo hushes you with another kiss, he kisses you with no hesitation and finally finds bravery within himself to finally do what he had been dreaming for years to do. There’s reluctance from your end but you don’t dare pull back again, falling instead into him and accepting it wholeheartedly.

Keigo won’t allow you to think that this is happening just because of a pill though.

“I love you.” He confesses, pulling back to look into your eyes. The iris of your eyes is mostly taken over by your blown out pupil but he can still see the ring of color that he’s always thought was beautiful. “I love you.”

“I love you too kid…”

Wrong, wrong!

He knows what kind of love you mean when you reciprocate the words, you had been saying it for years but this isn’t what he wants from you.

He can’t help shaking his head, a little frustrated but unable to really express it. “No, I love you.” He repeats in hopes that you’ll understand.

“I know, I love you too ki-“

Keigo reaches up and he cradles your face in his hands, setting his eyes on you and he tells you, “I’m in love with you.”

The air between the two of you is delicate after the confession.

A mix of emotions courses through you but you can barely express them. You can’t help looking both dazed and unsure at the same time, quietly processing the words of your childhood friend while your brain is fuzzy from the pill. When you open your mouth, it’s only to ask, “W-water?”

The water bottle you and him have been sharing is presented to you, you’re uncomfortable as you take a few sips and then pass it to Keigo who sips from the plastic as well.

And he’s always been patient with you, no matter what, but Keigo can’t help but to ask if you had anything to say.

Maybe it’s the wrong time to do such a thing but there has never been a right time either.

You would have ended up doing the same cycle you always do and Keigo would have always ended up waiting until the next time you’re crashing to get another opportunity to stare forlornly at you.

Keigo is tired, he’s tired of holding this in.

“It’s so hot…” you mumble as you gently push away his hands.

You’re scrambling to get up on your feet and keep your eyes down on the ground, picking your bottoms up from the carpet. He follows behind you, wondering if he did the wrong thing confessing to you in this very vulnerable state but he only has so much time to think on it as you slip out the front door and wander to the outside.

In the complex you and Keigo lived in, in the very center was a pool that you, him, and the other neighborhood children would flock to when it was summertime. There’s a sign that clearly says what times the pool is available for use but you ignore it as you easily undo the gate lock, something you had learned to do since you were ten and the maintenance staff hadn’t bothered to ever change it since they were none the wiser.

Keigo stands by the gate as you slowly climb into the pool, watching in a haze even though he is aware that he should be trying to reprimand you for going into the community pool at such a late hour. You float to the center of the pool, apparently not even bothering to take off your clothes, only sighing in relief from the cold temperature of the water.

He goes to the edge of the pool, squatting down calling out to you, “(Name), you gotta get out of there. We can’t be here.”

You disagree with a small hum and shake of your head, keeping yourself afloat and seeming to think that this was the only way to give yourself space away from him.

“C’mon, swim to me and I’ll pull you out.” He insists to you with a hand stretched out towards you.

Still you remain in the water.

So having no choice since you would not go to him, Keigo decides to join you in the pool to retrieve you himself. He ignores your whines as he swims closer to you and is able to pull you into his arms. “No, stay away Keigo!” You whine and weakly push against him. “Stay away!”

His brows furrow at your sudden coldness but he refuses to let go of you. “No, I’m here for you dove. I’m here for you and I’m not going anywhere. I promised you, didn’t I?”

You shake your head and still try to push him away but he’s got you locked in tight. “That was something we used to say when we were kids! Just go away now! Leave me alone!”

He doesn’t know why you’re so stressed out all of a sudden.

Keigo recognizes the signs of your anxiety coming up but they seem to be amplified on the pill. Your roll must be ruined and he has no idea what he’s supposed to do. “What’s wrong? Why are you like this now?”

“You… you’re so good Keigo. You’re too good to want someone like me…” you admit with a shuddering breath, your eyes struggling to focus on him and looking so sad that it broke his heart. “You think you love me just ‘cause we’ve known each other forever.”

Is that what your anxiety was about?

He shakes his head and gives you the best smile that he can muster. Truth is that his emotions are a bit all over the place too but there’s no taking back what he said and just like the roll, he has no choice but to go through with it. “I love you because we’ve known each other forever. There’s been no one else but you dove.”

There’s never been a shade of doubt in his mind about you.

“Fuck,” you curse quietly and inhale in as deeply as you can to prevent yourself from crying, “I’m not good enough for you…”

You push Keigo off for you and swim your way to the nearby ladder to climb out of the pool. He’s not that far behind you and asking what you mean by that, not letting this moment slip away because he wants some answers as well. He’s already kissed you and told you he loves you, he wants no more obstacles to stand between you and him. Being patient and waiting for you to realize that he’s the one for you hasn’t panned out in his direction at all so Keigo will just have to be direct with you.

It’s difficult for you to try to out walk him when your wet clothes drag you down along with the pill clouding your emotions so you’re more focused on keeping yourself together rather than the direction in front of you.

“Dove, please don’t ignore me!” Keigo pleads to you and manages to catch your wrist in his hand and pulls you back into his apartment. “Your clothes are wet, you need to change and get out of them.” His mind is still on what you said at the pool but he has to set that aside for now. “C’mon, let’s wash up. You can go first.”

He’s gentle when he takes your wrist and leads you to his bathroom, pushing you towards the tub and telling you to clean yourself up. You turn the knobs to fill the tub up with warm water and as the water slowly fills the porcelain, you look back at Keigo who’s leaning against the wooden door. “Undress.”

“But you’re-“

“I’m not letting you out of my sight in case you run away again. Undress and get yourself clean.”

You surprisingly obeyed when he thought for sure that you’d put up a fight. He at least gives you the privacy of turning around and also undressing, wearing only his boxer briefs for some modesty, listening to the rustle of your clothes as they drop to the floor, the splash of water when you enter the tub, and the squeak of the knob when you shut off the water. When he turns around, you briefly take a breath submerge yourself under the water for a few seconds before coming back up. Then you bring your knees to your chest and curl into yourself, looking up at him.

Keigo walks to the tub and kneels down to ask you, “Why did you walk away from me? Why won’t you talk to me?”

You purse your lips and look down at your knees.

“When you were sad, you’d always come to me wanting affection and care. I’d do what I think that you needed and once you got what you wanted, you always just up and left.” Keigo starts to speak, “Sometimes I worried if there was ever going to be a point that you would never come back, but then I realized that it was never going to happen. And do you know why that is?”

He doesn’t wait for you to answer.

“It’s because you’re always going to need me so you’re always going to come back.”

You look up at Keigo, taken by surprise from his words and looking offended. He has to remember that you’re not completely lucid right now and you can barely grasp your own emotions. He has to be gentle with you, he has to be. “I know you as the girl that’s always lived next door to me. When your mom hit you, you came to me and told me that I was the only good thing in your life. Every time you break up with a shitty boyfriend or fuck buddy, you always come to me. And I promised you that I would always be here for you.”

Keigo has always fulfilled his promise to you.

“I love you.”

You choke back a sob and shake your head, brokenly asking, “Why?”

Does he need a reason to give?

He just does.

But the question he needs to ask you is, “Why won’t you let yourself love me? Is there something wrong with me?”

It was a question that also bothered him throughout the years. He wondered if you wouldn’t love him back because there was something about himself that only you saw. Perhaps there was something unloveable about Keigo that prevented you from ever considering that he could be the man in your life. It preyed on his own insecurities, he liked to believe that he was a decent person with some minor flaws but he thought he was good enough for you. Would he always just be your kid neighbor?

You sob again, the euphoria from the pill long broken and now you struggle to piece yourself together. You always avoided conversations that needed you to look within yourself and dig out the ugly parts that you didn’t want to touch.

“There’s nothing wrong with you Keigo. It’s… it’s me.” You whimper and wipe away tears. “I’m older than you and you always used to look up to me. I wanted to keep on being that girl you could admire but I’m… You thought I was so cool for being able to climb trees and run through the grass. But we grew up and everything became hard and I… I wasn’t the smart and cool girl I hoped I would be.”

It’s sad, you’re sad.

“You’re the only good thing in my life, I always meant that. But seeing you do so good for yourself made me think about how I just didn’t do enough. I was embarrassed over how much I leaned on you whenever I got fucked up, and then I’d run away only to do the same thing all over again.”

He knows, he knows that.

You think that because you’re three years older than him that you have to be this strong girl with her shit together.

But three years doesn’t matter to him anymore and he tells you again that it’s okay for you to be weak in front of him.

“You need me, it’s okay to need me. Don’t push me away because you think it’ll make you stronger. Be weak in front of me.” And you cry in front of him and he lets you. Keigo puts his arms around your shoulders, uncaring that some of the tub water spills over, and he hugs you. “I can take care of you, you know? I have good grades and I know I can get a good job when I graduate.” He pulls back and tucks a wet strand of hair behind your ear. “Will you stop partying for me? Can you stop drinking? Doing drugs?”

You sniffle and wipe your tears away. “I can stop going to parties and drinking. But please, I don’t want to go without the pills. I can do them less but I… they make me happy Keigo. I won’t abuse them, I’ll even let you hold onto them and decide when I can have them.”

Maybe it was too much to ask at the moment but if this is the best compromise he can get from you, Keigo will just have to take it.

“Okay, we can do that. Maybe even one day we can do it together.”

You manage to let out a small laugh and he’s grateful to have gotten that out of you.

He leans over to kiss you, not being able to help himself and he’s happy that you return the kiss. He takes it over and leans you back against the tub, distracting you as he licks the inside of your mouth and his hand dips into the water. It’s a bold move on his part but he’d been wanting you differently for the past few years. He’s still a man and he wants to know the most intimate part of your body.

“K-Keigo! That’s-!” You pull back from the kiss when you feel his hand on your lower stomach.

“Just let me touch you… please.”

Keigo has pure, genuine love for you, he honestly does. There’s also the desire that has grown over time to know what it’s like to touch you and be intimate with you. He wants you in the way a man wants a woman, but he’s not going to just say pretty words to get what he wants out of you. What he wants is for you to be completely honest with him the way he’s honest with you. There’s nothing nefarious about his intentions; he just wants you.

So his hand slowly moves down and he keeps his golden eyes on you, keeping your gaze when the tips of his fingers touch the petals of your pussy. It’s only a gentle rubbing and curious touching to get to know this part of you, nothing to scare you off. There’s only the sloshing of the water and your quiet whimpers that are the sounds in the air. He wants to feel how warm you are inside, feel how tight you are and hear all the sounds you make.

He wants your everything.

“Will you let me put a finger in? I’ll be slow.”

You look a little uncertain at first but you nod your head to confirm your consent.

So he dips a finger carefully inside you and marvels over how you’re squeezing around him. Keigo’s careful to twirl his finger in you and watches your expressions to see what you like. Part of him is aware that this isn’t completely genuine, you are on a pill after all, but so many boundaries have already been crossed and the opportunity to turn back was long gone. Just as long as you keep on saying yes then Keigo is going to go even further.

“Does it feel good? Is it okay?” he checks in with you and hopes that you don’t have any protests, “Do you want me to stop?”

You shake your head and roll your hips slightly. “Can you put ‘nother in me? Please?”

He cherishes the soft ‘oh’ you let out when he puts a second finger inside of you. He curls his fingers in you, stroking your walls and reading your reactions to see what you respond well to. You’re huffing quietly and grasp your hands at the edge of the tub, widening your legs and moving your hips as you revel in Keigo’s touch. It’s fascinating how sensitive you seem but he still has to keep in mind that your reactions could be because of the pill.

“You love me?” You asked Keigo, trying your hardest to focus on his eyes, “You really do love me?”

“I do.” He affirms his answer to you.

“I… I need you.” You admit.

Drawing in a deep breath, he breathes out slowly through his nose so that he can calm himself. He needs you to clarify, “You need me for what?”

You sink a little further down the tub, the water just at your collarbones and you take one hand to join it with Keigo’s under the water. With a little nudging from you, he sinks his fingers knuckle deep in you and you let out the cutest mewl from how deep he’s in you. “Need you with me, need you to keep me sane… need you inside of me.”

His fingers curl ever slightly and he tells you, “I am inside you.”

A soft whine leaves your lips as you shake your head, a slight desperation to your tone when you repeat once more, “Need you inside of me.”

Oh…

Oh.

Keigo won’t deny that the second he sunk his first finger in you, his cock twitched. Then when he asked to add another finger and you allowed it, he was half-hard. Now when you ask for that, he’s rock hard to the point that it aches a little. He only wanted to finger you a little for himself and didn’t have plans to go any further beyond that. All he wanted was just a bit of touching to sate his curiosity.

But this… this…

How many more boundaries will be broken tonight?

“Dove, I don’t think I should do that.” he tells you but it’s more to convince himself. “This is fine but we shouldn’t do anything more until you’re sober.”

Your head lolls against the tub and you whine again. “I don’t want to wait until I’m sober. I want you now Keigo.”

Tempting…

The smartest thing to do would be to just stop and he leans towards that decision, but the hand that was under the water with Keigo’s breaches the surface and reaches up towards him. You put your hand on his bicep, the furthest you are willing to reach, and call his name softly. It’s so delicate the way his name rolls off your tongue that it leaves him a little speechless. “I want you Keigo, wanna be with someone who loves me.”

Keigo’s always avoided saying this out loud to you but you were selfish in a lot of ways.

And it didn’t help that he never called you out on it.

He should call you out on it, even now because you know that Keigo gives you what you want. You’ve always gone to him to take care of you when you wanted to be cared for and you almost always left without giving anything back in equal value to what he’s done for you.

“Wanna be with you Keigo… please?”

He shouldn’t… he shouldn’t… he’s not going to…

“S’okay you know? I never fucked anyone while I was rolling.” you say to him, “Lotsa people wanted to fuck me when we rolled but I wouldn’t let them. But you can do it Keigo, I want you to ‘cause I trust you. Please? Are you going to make me beg?”

You are selfish.

“Get up from the tub and go to the counter.”

And Keigo just enables you again.

Water drips from your body as you step out of the tub, at least you dry your feet on the mat first before you make your way to the counter. You lean back against it and wait with your eyes focused on Keigo. Your eyes follow his movements, watching as he drains the tub of the water and kicks the wet clothes to the side so that they’re out of his way and he stands in front of you.

When he stares into your eyes, the pupils haven’t gone down in the slightest. Not that he expected them to, he’s seen that it takes a few hours for your eyes to return to normal even when the roll was finished. He’s read up on your favorite little pills so he’s got textbook knowledge of it and the other half of what he knows is from your own anecdotes. If he were to split a pill with you, would the love he feels for you flourish even more?

Because Keigo already feels like it swallows him whole.

“Sit on the counter and open your legs.”

You do as told, leaning back slightly with your head bumping gently against the mirror and opening your legs for him. You wait with baited breath for what Keigo’s going to do, he touches gently again and looks down like he’s inspecting the most intimate part of you. It makes your skin prickle, sighing quietly when the pad of his thumb gently rubs at your clit.

“Hold your legs.”

Your legs are drawn up and you hold them by the back of your knees, still waiting in anticipation for what’s next. It’s too quiet in the bathroom as Keigo takes his time with you. He’s touching very gently still that it almost makes you decide to take control.

He holds out two fingers and commands, “Make them wet.”

Keigo watches as you draw his fingers into your mouth, sucking and licking your tongue all over them. It makes his spine tingle with how lewd you are, pushing just a little further but carefully to the back of your throat. Even the way you gag is cute and a fresh wave of saliva wets his fingers, he cherishes the cute ‘ah’ when he pulls them out and pushes them into your pussy.

“You feel tight, is this pussy tight for me dove?” he asks you, his voice dropping an octave lower with desire. “How much prep do you need?”

“N-Not a lot, don’t need you to take too long…” your voice wavers as you watch the sight of Keigo’s fingers disappearing inside of you. “Th-that’s good enough, just please put it in now!” When Keigo asks one more time if you’re sure, he sees you get annoyed and whine petulantly, “Yes! Just want you inside!”

Oh, you are a brat.

Keigo’s a little surprised to be honest but he’ll play it to his advantage. Maybe he will teach you some manners after all.

He curls his fingers inside you and uses his other hand to pet your clit, some of your slick oozing out and dripping onto the countertop. Maybe it’s the pill making you sensitive right now but that’s not really on his mind right now. You desperately babble on about wanting Keigo inside you, switching from your bratty demands to sweet begging when you realize that he’s dangling you on the edge of an orgasm.

“Don’ wanna cum on your fingers! On your cock Keigo! Please!” you’re gasping as you feel an orgasm approaching.

“Yeah? You wanna cum on my dick?” Keigo cruelly asks you, relishing in this just a little too much. “Not on my fingers?”

“Yes, on your cock please!”

Keigo leans in real close to you, his lips just a breath away from yours and he commands you to say, “Tell me you need me.”

“I need you!”

“Tell me you love me.”

He’s going to remember forever how precious you were when you choked out your very first ‘I love you’ to him.

He doesn’t glide in as smoothly as he hoped he would, pushing the tip in and feeling some resistance when he tries to go further. He considers pulling out to finger you more but you tell him not to. Apparently you like it when a cock gets bullied into your pussy, just a little bit of roughness mixed in with how you like your pleasure. Keigo thought for sure you’d be a bit more romantic but maybe romantic isn’t the mood right now.

“Fuck! Like that!” you gasp when Keigo breaches inside of you and he’s pressed his base to you. Your pussy flutters around his cock and he can not believe just how sweet it is to finally be like this with you. “Move slowly please, wanna feel it all.”

Now you want it sensual even though Keigo wants it differently.

Selfishly, he wants to ruin you right here and now. He actually wanted to make you beg to tears for him and make you scream his name. He’s rooted more in this moment while your head is swimming in your doped up sea. There’ll have to be another time to fuck you the way he wants; it took a lot to bring you back to this level and he didn’t want to ruin it by breaking your spell.

Fifteen minutes ago you were crying over your insecurities and now you’re hiccuping for Keigo to be gentle with you.

“Look at you dove, you take me so well. It’s so fucking—fuck—soft inside you. So warm and wet, you’re sucking me in.” Keigo croons to you, holding your gaze as he moves into you. His own head lolls back momentarily before bringing it back, catching a glimpse of where his cock disappears into you. “You’re so pretty…”

“I’m pretty Keigo?” you giggle, “I’m pretty?”

Yes, you’re the prettiest.

“My pretty girl, you’re my pretty girl…!” Keigo grunts out the last word when he thrusts hard into you.

You sigh dreamily and bring your arms around his shoulders, pulling yourself closer to him with your ass hanging off the edge of the countertop. Your legs hook around his waist and you clumsily push his underwear completely off, Keigo only pulling it down enough to free his cock, the material lands to his feet and he quickly kicks it away.

His words from before swirl around in your mind and breathily sigh out, “I’m your pretty girl…”

His girl… his… his!

“I know we’ve lived here forever, but let’s move far away from here once I’m done with school.” Keigo tells you, suddenly feeling the need to tell you all the fantasies he had stowed away in his heart. “It’ll be forever for us to get a house but we could live in our own apartment together in the meantime. We can share a bed, sleep next to each other and fuck in it whenever we want.”

It’s heartfelt, what he tells you.

“Would you let me fuck you whenever I want in our bed?”

“Yes!”

Keigo imagines cotton sheets to sleep on but silk pillow cases for you to lay your head on. Matching coffee mugs and taking care of plants on windowsills. A nice dining room table that’s sturdy enough for a big spread of food and can take you bent over when he fucks you from behind. A nice comfy couch to cuddle on and he could eat you out from when you sink into the cushions.

He’d live in a modest little place with you, inviting friends over for game nights and they’d never know how nasty he would fuck you just minutes before they arrived.

You sing praises to him over how good he’s making you feel, scrunching your hand in his hair and telling him over and over that you want him. You’re practically melded to his body and it’s not possible to get any closer than this.

Abruptly, Keigo pulls out and helps you off the countertop only to turn you around and make you brace your hands on the smooth marble. He kicks your legs open before pushing back inside of you, the brief coldness that swept over his cock when he pulled out gone as soon as your pussy clenches around him. His hand comes around your front and holds you by your neck, not intending on choking you but just needing to grasp you in an intimate way, and he practically hugs your body against his.

Keigo wants to watch your reflection and he hisses into your ear, “Look.”

He watches you, the way your mouth drops open and your cute little moans and gasps exit your lips. He watches how your eyes look at his reflection and the way they’re glazed over in pleasure. He watches how your tits bounce as he fucks you and he wishes he could pound you the way he wants.

But he still cherishes the way this moment is happening as it is.

Your whole body shudders and suddenly pussy clenches tight around him, almost trapping him in, he feels fluids squirt out and he looks down to his cock, seeing a ring of cream around his base and how your legs shake.

You came.

“Keigo, cum in me please? Need it please!” you whimper out, gasping a little when his hand tightens around your throat, “S’okay if you cum in me, s’okay!”

That makes Keigo fuck a little faster behind you, focusing more on himself as he builds his release. No other girl he fucked before compares to you and he’s going to be the only one you let inside of you from now on. Because he’s already gone this far, he waited patiently for years for you to come to your senses and realize that he’s the one for you.

“I’m fucking cumming! Fuck, fuck I’m cumming!” Keigo hisses as he rides out the wave of his orgasm, his hips slapping against your skin until he’s emptied out and filled you up. He happens to look at your reflection to see you all love drunk and fucked out, gasping for breath and brokenly telling him ‘thank you’ before your body slumps down. He catches you, still holding you close and whispering one more time that he loves you.

Fuck three years, it doesn’t matter now.

He’s going to have you for the rest of his life.

You’re sitting on the bed and waiting for Keigo when he comes out from the bathroom. He had to wash the smell of chlorine off his body and out of his hair, a little uncomfortable over the fact that he smelled like pool chemicals when he had sex with you. Your hair is still wet but he leant you a clean hoodie and fresh boxer briefs for you to wear, needing to stop himself from staring because he never pondered over the idea of you wearing his own clothes and he realizes how much he likes it.

“I’m way past my peak so I can probably rest in another hour.” you inform him, speaking a bit more clearly and he can see the exhaustion setting in. “But listen… can we just not talk about what happened?”

His body stiffens and his heart drops down into his stomach.

“I meant let’s talk about it later when I’m on the come down. I’m sorry, I should have worded that differently.” you corrected yourself quickly after seeing his reaction. Patting the spot next to you as an invitation for Keigo to sit next you, he lets you take a few seconds to gather yourself before you speak again. “What happened is going to be a long conversation, we both know it. But I can’t have it right now and I just want… I wanna sleep.”

Keigo nods his head in agreement, he’s just been running on his own energy to keep him up but he knows that you need to rest as soon as possible. But a part of him has to express his worry, “You’re not going to run off on me, are you?”

You shake your head in answer. “I won’t lie, part of me thought about leaving when you were washing up. I thought about leaving and hitting up a friend to take me in the for the night. But I knew that if I did that to you after what we just did… I think I would lose you. And I…” you take in a breath and look away from Keigo when you finish your sentence, “I need you.”

His hand reach out, gently cupping your face and making it so that he can look you in the eyes. You’re slightly more lucid but the pill is still lingering in your blood, your pupils still wide but Keigo sees that you’re earnest.

“I need you Keigo…”

He knows, he’s always known.

“We’ll talk about it in the morning, okay dove?”

Your head nods and you lean forward, wanting to curl into him and finding safety in the one place that you always returned to.

“Okay, in the morning.”

#hawks x reader #takami keigo x reader #takami x reader #hawks angst #hawks smut #tw drugs #tw dubcon

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