#one year after my Cirkus experience

[the-words-we-sung]

[veilingofthesun]

Quarantine tags!

I was tagged by the lovely @starlene to answer these tag games. it took me a while, but I really enjoyed them. It took my mind of other things for quite some time. So thanks a lot for tagging me!:)

Music list tag game

Rules: list ten songs you’ve been listening to recently.

In no particular order:

Carry you - Missy Higgins

You learn to live without - If/Then cast recording

Use well the days - Annie Lennox

My House - Matilda the musical cast recording

Wear it like a crown - Rebekka Karijord

En sång till livet - Så som i himmelen cast recording

Stay Gold - First Aid Kit

En stund på jorden - Laleh

Gold - Once soundtrack

That I would be good - Jagged little pill cast recording

Quarantine Tag Game

Are you staying home from school/work? No, here in Sweden not everyone has to work from home. If you can, you’re advised to work from home. But my job can’t really be done from home..

If you’re staying home, who is there with you? -

Are you a homebody? Yes, definitely. I’m an introvert and and I need my space and and time to just be at home. So this quarantine thing feels kind of surreal to me. For starters, we’re not in lockdown here, so I’m not restricted in the same way that a lot of other people are. Since I’m going to work as usual (except for some schedule changes) my days feel very much as they did before this pandemic. I get up, go to work, come home, do almost the same things as I did before.... I don’t go to stores, cafes or the cinerma at the moment though. The things that I was really looking forward to and love to do (travelling to different cities and see musicals) I can’t do...

An event that you were looking forward that got cancelled? It’s kind of hard for me to write about this, because I’m getting upset just by writing about this. It’s been a long and rough winter and the things that kept me going and gave me something to look forward to was going away with my sister on our musical trips (it’s my favourite thing to do) I’m missing out on both Groundhog day and Next to Normal. N2N pains me the most. I’ve never seen a production of N2N before and I’ve been patiently waiting for many years now. N2N means so much to me (More than I can ever explain) When I found out that they were doing it and with Helen Sjöholm (my dream Diana for years) I was so excited and happy. After seeing bits of rehearsals, pro pics, the trailer and hearing what people thought, my excitement just grew...  I’m trying to stay positive and hope that they might bring it back. But the realistic side of me knows that they can’t just pick up where they left and keep going. But the cast wants to do it again, and Uppsala Stadsteater has said that they’re looking into putting it up again in the future, so I’m allowing myself a slight hope... Wermland Opera won’t be bringing GHD back, so I just have to hope that another theatre will put it up some time.

What movies have you watched recently? And then we danced (A Swedish/Georgian movie) and Little women were the last two movies I watched in the cinema. I loved them both and I can really recommend them. I know that Little Women is easy accessible, but if you manage to find And then we danced, definitely give it try. It’s a beautiful and touching movie in so many ways. Most recently I watched an Icelandic movie called Woman at war (I try to broaden my movie watching horizons) It’s a very special movie (kind of hard to explain) but I really enjoyed it. Very well acted, both dramatic, funny and smart.

What shows are you watching? I’m rewatching Good Omens (it’s based on one of my favourite books and a TV show has been a long time coming) I love it so much, it captures the feel of the book and the characters perfectly. It makes me happy and makes me laugh. I’m also watching season 2 of the British show The Split. It’s a female driven show about family, sisterhood and a family law firm. The feel of it is very different from other law shows, because the focus is on family law. I also love how it’s written and the very different, very well written interesting female characters. Plus Nicola Walker is just amazing.

What music are you listening to? See above. Also, a certain audio that a very kind person sent me...

What are you reading? I’ve just finished reading Kindred by Octavia. E. Butler. It’s definitely a new favourite of mine, I love the way she writes. I didn’t want to put the book down and read it almost in one go. I love when I find books like that. At the moment I’m reading The wit and wisdom of Discworld by Terry Pratchett and Stephen Briggs. . Or not really reading, more flickering through and reading bits and pieces.( ( I needed to digest Kindred properly before starting on a new book) It’s filled with quotes and pieces from the Discworld books. Terry Pratchett has a quote for everything.

What are you doing for self-care? Hmm, well I walk and bike almost everyday since it’s part of my route to and from work, so I get some fresh air. During the weekend I try (I don’t always succeed, sometimes I just can’t make myself go for a walk) to go for a longer walk. It usually helps to go somewhere else and see something else. I’ll make it a mini trip and bring something to eat. It doesn’t happen every weekend though.. What else? Reading is self care to me. It’s very important to me, it calms me and gives my brain a break. Also working on @musicals-in-sweden is a kind of self care for me..

Nameless tag game

Top 3 Ships: Hmmm, this is a hard question... I don’t ship characters as much as I used to... I don’t really know why. Plus I find it hard to rank them so this isn’t really a top three...  I’ve always had a soft spot for Natalie and Henry from N2N, so they’ll be on my list. Who else? I think I’ll go with Miss Honey and Mrs Phelps from Malmö Operas production of Matilda the Musical. I know that a lot of people ship Miss Honey and Mrs Phelps based on the musical, and I see why. But for me, it didn’t happen until I saw the Swedish production. Their chemistry and the way they acted together and opposite each other was so special. (It was probably the fact that they had some added lines and that their relationship and admiration for each other played a bigger part in this production that did it for me and of course the actresses beautiful and very natural chemistry) Then there’s the If/Then couples (Elizabeth/Josh, Kate/Anne and Lucas/David) but since I love them all, I can’t possible pick one to be in the list and let the others go, so they’re all staying.

Last Song: Hope from the Groundhog Day cast recording. There’s something very special about that song and it seems fitting at the moment. I just love the way Tim Minchin writes.

Last Movie: Since I answered the movie question above I have seen Lost Girls.

Reading: I’ve kind of already answered this, but I’m thinking of rereading Good Omens next, since today is it’s 30th anniversary... I’m about to order a batch of books from my favourite book store since I won’t be able to travel to any of the cities it’s located in for a while. They have a lot of new releases and new parts of series that I’m interested in.

Three Random Things that Make Me Happy: That spring is finally here and the lovely warm, sunny days we’ve had in april, First Aid Kit’s live streamed livingroom concerts and that Cirkus Cirkör (A Swedish new circus company)is streaming a recording of their 2010 production Wear it like a crown. It was the first Cirkus Cirkör production I saw and I was blown away. I’ve been wanting to experience it again ever since. I’m happy to say it was as magical as I remembered it.

I’m tagging @amaliatheartist @mrs-tap-toes @miyacantdecide @thecitykeepsevolving to answer as many of these as you can/want.

[thewidowstanton]

Esmeralda Nikolajeff, flyer and acrobat, Barely Methodical Troupe: Shift

Swedish circus artist Esmeralda Nikolajeff – who comes from Stockholm – knew she wanted to be an acrobat from the age of two. She started circus as a tiny child with Circus Cirkör, and at 14 took part in Monte Carlo’s 20th Première Rampe festival. She went on to train at DOCH School of Dance and Circus in Stockholm and, since graduating in 2014, has appeared all over the world, working mostly in duos or trios and “learning new ways of being thrown and getting caught”.

Esmeralda chats to Liz Arratoon before her appearance in Barely Methodical Troupe’s third show, Shift, which also features Elihú Vázquez and BMT co-founders Charlie Wheeller and Louis Gift. It was commissioned by the Norfolk and Norwich Festival – which co-produced it with DREAM – as part of the celebrations for the 250th anniversary of the birth of British circus. Shift has its world premiere at the Spiegeltent in Chapelfield Gardens in Norwich. It runs from 16-27 May 2018.

The Widow Stanton: Is Stockholm your home? Esmeralda Nikolajeff: More or less. I have a home there but I’ve been renting it out for two years, so I’m more or less living on the road. It’s a love/hate relationship… it’s complex… it’s great and it’s nice to not have to pay rent. It allows me to travel more. But little by little I’m getting a bit worn out by it. I’m starting to miss my home and my own things and my own space, but it’s fine. It’s still working out.

Had you seen any circus at two to put the idea in your head? That’s such a good question that my parents also ask themselves. They don’t really know. I guess I must have seen something, like picked something up from somewhere. But it wasn’t like we went to a circus show and then I knew. When I told them I wanted to be ‘aerial acrobat’ they were like: “How does she even know those words? Where did it come from?” No one knows.

Is there any showbusiness in your family? Yes, when I was a kid my dad was doing theatre and my mum was creating and producing music. When I was around seven my dad actually got into circus himself because he got quite inspired by me doing it. Then he was out of work and he got an opportunity to work in this Swedish circus, Cirkus Cirkör, in the offices and teaching kids how to do forward rolls and cartwheels and stuff like that. Then he got into the circus scene and he thought it was way more fun than doing theatre. So he just started to practise and now he’s a knife-thrower and a chainsaw juggler. He’s called Jesper.

Where is your name from? My dad’s father was from Russia. He came to Sweden by train when he was four years old during World War II. He was a child in the middle of the war zone so he was evacuated and went into a foster family in Sweden.

Do you do any other disciplines? I do a bunch of different things. At DOCH my main discipline was duo trapeze, so trapeze flyer is what I do the most. And then lately, the past two years, I’ve been doing a lot of flying in Icarian Games [Risley], basically flipping on people’s feet. As my side discipline I’ve always been an acrobat. I love doing floor acrobatics and movements, and as I’m quite a tiny person I’ve always been a flyer in all kinds of scenarios… banquine and hand to hand and things like that.

Before you went to DOCH, how did you start doing circus? First I went to a circus course in Stockholm at Cirkus Cirkör. I started when I was four years old in this little kids’ circus place. Then when I was around seven I told my dad that it was frustrating for me to just train because I wanted to perform. He was like, “Ooh, OK,” and he found a bunch of other kids who also wanted to perform, and we created a youth circus group. So it was like, me and between 10 and 15 other kids who were the youth circus group of Cirkus Cirkör, for some years. Then we kept on growing as a youth circus. My dad was in charge of it and we were training like two or three times a week, and then we did quite a lot of shows. All the money we pulled in with the shows went to the teachers and the facilities at Cirkör, so on Sundays we had the whole training space to ourselves. For the kids it was free to go to the circus classes but we performed a lot.

I did that from when I was seven to about 15, and then I did Circus Cirkör’s circus high school as well. My trapeze catcher is three years older than me and I was a bit tired of normal school so I really wanted to start the circus university with her. But at most circus universities you need a degree from high school, so I was thinking, ‘Maybe I can do it faster?’. I asked my school if I could just go faster and they were like: “We don’t really know but I guess you can try.” [Laughs] So then I did four years of school in two years, and yeah, I graduated early and started DOCH when I was 17.

With your trapeze partner? Yes, Mira Leonard.

Were you with her at the Première Rampe? Yes, it was the youth version of the Monte Carlo circus festival, which happens a month before the adult one. We didn't win gold, silver or bronze, but we did receive some kind of trophy. I think they gave everyone one as a prize just for taking part. I don't really remember how it went, I was so young [laughs] but it was a very interesting experience; all these Chinese, Russian and Mongolian children, and us! We were amazed by how heavily drilled all those tiny kids were, because we just did circus for the fun of it.

Was it because you were tiny that you became flyer or what made you choose it? Being tiny helped a lot. I was always the smallest and lightest person in my class, so I was just used to climbing on people. But then I was also just this little reckless child. I would stand on the highest furniture and jump off and be like, ‘CATCH ME!’. And my parents would have to run through the apartment and slide on the floor and save me from dying. [Laughs] So I guess I had like the adrenaline-rush-addictive part of me already as a child.

What advice would you give to someone wanting to take up flying? You have to be brave… For sure, you have to be brave but more so you have to be a very trusting person. What I see with a lot of people who aren’t that good at flying is that if someone says: “It’s fine, I’ll catch you,” they don’t believe them. But for me, if someone says that, I trust them to have the good judgment of knowing that they can catch me; maybe not perfectly but so that I don’t injure myself gravely. So [laughs] it’s a lot about just believing in what people say. Hearing: “Yeah, I think this is safe to try,” I go, ‘You think so? OK, then I think so, too’. That’s a very big part of it.

We’ve noticed that DOCH produces really excellent artists; why do you think that is? When I was going to choose circus schools I was really doubting whether I wanted to do DOCH, because in one way I wanted to move aboard and experience a school in a different country. But in the end I chose DOCH because there’s something about the vibe there that is very welcoming; it’s kind of a light, happy vibe that I get from that place, and my coach in trapeze – Christian Vippen Vilppola – was very positive and very encouraging, whereas a lot of coaches… because we auditioned and we got into other schools and other coaches were a bit more Russian style, never say that anything’s good. If someone’s more or less OK, then you know you did it really well. I don’t really believe in that method of learning things, and that’s one thing that really helps at DOCH that in general it’s quite a positive vibe.

Then it has good reputation so the people applying there are already quite good, and the level of the students has to be pretty good before they start. And then we had quite intensive training. We’d have a lot of different ways of doing things and the school is constantly adapting to each year. They don’t have one way of doing things. For example, our class was really into movement and dance, and we had a lot of ideas about different dance teachers and choreographers that we’d like to have as guest teachers. So we students could suggest: “Oh, this person, from this country is really cool, could we maybe have a workshop with them?” The school would be like: “We’ll look into it,” and after that it would happen. Then we’d have a block of two weeks with this teacher, and I think that’s something that’s really special about DOCH that they do listen to their students’ feedback a lot. They constantly try to adapt to the students’ needs. The year below us was more into theatre and stage acting so they had more of that.

We also had a lot of discipline hours, I think two hours a day of our main discipline and then – I don’t remember – some hours a week with our second discipline, and everyone had acrobatics and I, as a flyer, had two hours a week of trampoline for a year or two to practise the different things I do in the air. Also what we did a lot, we had a lot of presentations. Basically we’d have presentations every other Friday, and we’d get different tasks each time, so we learnt that we had to produce material and ideas. Of course, it cannot always become something good if you have to do it every other week and you’re always tired from training all the time. So then it forces us to learn to fail, and it’s OK and that you can learn a lot from failure. I think that’s such an important thing for artists in general, to not be afraid of trying out ideas that could fail. That’s something they really encourage us to do as well; to not always succeed.

What sort of things have you done since graduating? I graduated almost four year ago and since then I’ve been doing so many different things. Like, each project has been quite a new experience, so I’ve done everything from… the year I graduated I was working quite a lot in Sweden at Cirkus Cirkör, with the Christmas show, and then I did a show called Borders with them, which celebrated their 20-year anniversary. But also they thought: “We can’t only celebrate in times like this,” so it was a show about borders and refugees. There were 19 people on stage and it was a mix between actors, circus artists and musicians. It was a sort of WOW project that lasted four months and then it was over.

Then I did a site-specific show on an island in Denmark. It’s an island that was man-made to build ships on, so we were exploring it. We did a bit of acrobatics but there wasn’t much circus; it was a dance choreographer who made the work. It was really interesting and we learnt a lot about how to take in different environments and how to relate to them. It was a promenade show. Then I did a show in Berlin for six months…

At the Chamäleon? Yes exactly. It was called Roots with the Czech company Cirq La Putyka. We played it in Prague maybe 50 times as well. Last year I had more of a year doing my own projects with my friends. We did one show that we performed a bit in Berlin and a bit in Oregon. We were called The Leftover Company. It was something that happened after performing a lot in Berlin and seeing all these leftover people everywhere so we took inspiration from that. We thought how can we make Icarian Games more leftover-y; we created a lot of crash acro, basically, and wobbly acro.

Wobbly is a bit of a trend… Yeah, I feel it has to do with people being a bit tired of being so rigid and perfect. They just want to be a bit more loose. It’s fun because there are so many different ways of doing it. We have a trapeze act where I’m kind of all limp, which we did in Roots, but this crash acro is really more explosive, like, kind of aggressive crashes. [Laughs]  

How did you get involved with Barely Methodical Troupe? I met those guys at the wedding of some friends of ours in Australia. It was Dan and Rhiannon Cave-Walker’s wedding, who were in my year in DOCH. After the wedding we hung out for a bit and were acro-jamming on the beach. Then BMT contacted me and asked if I might be interested in joining their next show. I was like, ‘Yeah!’.

Have you seen their other shows? No, I haven’t but as the circus world is so small, and so many friends of mine have, it seems like I have and I can imagine what they were like. I’d really like to see them. They are very fun to work with, very easy to work with and very encouraging and motivated. In general there’s this positive, fun, playful vibe going around, which, without seeing their shows, I can imagine translates to the stage.

Are you able to you tell us anything about the new show? I won’t say too much. We’ve been inventing new acts and working a lot with elastic bands, Thera-bands, the kind they usually use for rehab. So we have quite a lot of them in the show and in general we’ve been working a lot with elasticity. Throughout this process I actually learnt how to say that word because for me it was a very hard word to say [laughs] so I’m very proud every time I manage it.

Can you pick out some highlights from your career so far? Yes, a lot of things, but I must say the Chamäleon contract in Berlin was a really life-changing experience, also because I got to stay in one city for half a year and have stable work and do 180 shows in a row. That’s a quite insane thing to do. I don’t know if I could it again but I’m very glad I did it. So that was one highlight and then this past year I’ve been doing a show – Knekke Greine – together with my friends in the forest. It’s a show where we encourage people to remember that we have go out into nature and explore the woods even though you live in the city. It’s a very interactive performance and it’s more of a forest/nature guided walk with a lot of crazy interactions happening all around. The creation was just in the woods in Sweden so that’s been really fun.

Esmeralda appears in the world premiere of Barely Methodical Troupe’s Shift at the Spiegeltent in Chapelfield Gardens during the Norfok and Norwich Festival from 16-27 May 2018.

Picture credits: Headshot, Di Robson; Shift, Chris Nash; wobbly trapeze, Einar Kling-Odencrants

For Shift tickets click here

Esmeralda on Facebook and Barely Methodical Troupe’s website

Twitter: @BMTroupe @NNFest

Follow @TheWidowStanton on Twitter

Read our archive interviews with BMT’s Charlie Wheeller and Louis Gift

[thefeministherald]

how Sweden's #MeToo movement aims to tackle sexism in the industry and elsewhere.

Unlike Saga Norén in The Bridge, Sofia Helin can smile when she feels like it. I've seen her smile and it's great. The thing she hates is having to smile. Notably on the red carpet, where you are besieged by photographers. "You want to know what the worst thing is? When they say: 'More teeth, please!' What am I? Some kind of horse?" Smiling is okay, but it has to be consensual, not coercive.

Which explains, in part, why, when Sofia Helin made her entrance the other night at the Guldbaggen ("The Golden Beetle"), the Swedish Oscars held at the Cirkus in Stockholm, she was not smiling for the camera. Nor were the other hundred or so Swedish actresses she was hand-in-hand with. They were all wearing the black #tystnadtagning t-shirt. The slogan means "Silence, action" and it's what the director says in Swedish when the cameras start rolling. It's also the hashtag of the Swedish #metoo movement, protesting about sexual exploitation and discrimination in the film industry and beyond.

"We were also wearing comfortable shoes," said Helin. She hates anything that stops her running. "There is no fashion statement that is female that is not uncomfortable," she added. When she watched some of her colleagues recently: "I could see they couldn't breathe. Everything was too tight. Like they were wearing corsets."

Also unlike Saga Norén, Sofia Helin is articulate and funny and good company. She doesn't normally drive a Porsche 911 or wear leather trousers, like her screen alter ego, but she does still have the Saga Norén scar. This is the scar on her upper lip that viewers are able to inspect one more time as the fourth and final season of The Bridge airs. The scar is real. She picked it up in her 20s when she fell off her bike, but it has become part of her persona now and makes her look like a tough yet vulnerable warrior who has been through a few battles. Which, in fact, she has. I asked her about her own experience of sexual harassment in Sweden. "I simply quote the marvellous Sharon Stone," she said. "I've seen it all."

One fan in Australia once got in touch with her via Instagram (where she is "actress_sofia_helin") and wrote that he knew of a clinic where she could go and get surgery for her scar and get it "fixed". It would, he said, be "life-changing". Helin wrote back to him: "I love my scars. Do you love yours?"

Challenging structures

An ex-student of philosophy, Helin is now in her mid-40s, married to a minister in the Swedish Lutheran Church, with two children, a boy aged 14 and a girl aged eight. She is quizzical about the contemporary obsession with personal "happiness" – "What is that anyway?" – and passionate about effecting change in the world. "When I'm old I will look back on my life and reflect on my choices. It will be a pleasant thing to feel I did some things."

Sofia Helin at the Guldbaggen. Photo: Andy Martin

Helin invited me to meet her at the Grand Hotel on the waterfront in Stockholm, accompanied by her friend and "film sister", Moa Gammel, who wrote a refutation of the recent Catherine Deneuve anti-MeToo manifesto.

"It's not sexual freedom if someone is raping you," she said, succinctly. They both had a hand in the front-page article in the Swedish daily, Svenska Dagbladet, drawing attention to the asymmetry of "money and power" in the Swedish film industry. They also share a fondness for the Swedish tobacco product Snus – which you can see Saga Noren popping into her mouth and shoving up into her gums. "It's good for writing," they assured me.

By chance, they also introduced me to Björn Ulvaeus of Abba, the classic Swedish pop group, now bespectacled and scholarly-looking, who was enthusiastic about what they were doing. "We are living in a post-patriarchal era", he said. "Thanks to you."

Stockholm in January 2018 feels a little like Paris in May 1968, with the same fervour and ferment, but more snow. "It's like a revolution," said Moa Gallen. "Only a peaceful revolution."

The movement counts 70,000 women supporters in Sweden. And it's going global, too. After Helin and #tystnadtagning staged a public reading of personal testimonies last year, they received a message via their FaceBook page from some female Peshmerga soldiers, at war with ISIS. "We are fighting the same fight," they said.

Helin has just returned from Cambodia, where she was an ambassador for WaterAid. And they have links with Time's Up in Hollywood, too. But there is no naming of names in Sweden. It's all about "structures" that have to be changed, not about demonising individuals like Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey. "Creating a monster absolves us of responsibility," says Helin.

Changing the script

When I spoke to Stellan Skarsgård (the bad guy in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) who won the Best Supporting Actor award for Borg (about the tennis player Björn Borg), he said that Hollywood had "shone a light on the problem, but now we need to find the solution. You have to start thinking about what to do next." Helin and her colleagues are changing the script in very pragmatic ways.

Helin loved working on The Bridge, which was always filmed during the long winter season. It has to be bleak and grey and they stop filming as soon as any buds start to appear. It's noir, not green – so daffodils are out.

The Bridge was conceived and written by Hans Rosenfeldt, who also wrote Marcella. Together they came up with the character of Saga Noren who is an outsider figure among detectives, socially inept, with a dash of something like Asperger's and whose most famous chat-up line is, "Vill du har sex?" ("Do you want to have sex?")

But Helin is now more committed to projects that are created and written mainly by women for women. She listed and derided all the plays and films and stories, written by men, in which women either go mad or commit suicide or both: Madame Bovary, Anna Karenina, Miss Julie, Hedda Gabler, a lot of Shakespeare.

Sofia Helin is both a neo-Ingrid Bergman and a creative force. Inspired by her experiences in Nordic noir, she came up with the original idea for Honour, a television drama series involving four women lawyers, due to shoot later this year. She is quick to point out that, globally speaking, she is in a privileged position.

Actresses in Sweden are really very fortunate. But we are having an impact on women around the world who are not quite so fortunate. It shouldn't all be about appearance. How you look. It's about the stories you have to tell.

Waiting for wonderful

Helin cites the tragic fate of Marilyn Monroe: "She was an intellectual who was forced to appear as an air-head." Nor, she thought, should fellow Swedish actress Greta Garbo have been known as "The Face".

"To be reduced to your face, as if that is all you are. Known only for your looks. No wonder she dropped out at the age of 35," she said.

Helin doesn't want to be "The Face", with or without scars. On the other hand, she doesn't want to "become invisible", which is what happens to so many ageing female stars. "You shouldn't have a 'best before' date," she said.

Garbo famously said, "I just want to be alone." Helin is the exact opposite. She is collectively-minded, gregarious, and is reluctant to talk exclusively about herself and her own career. "We stand there in the spotlight and it's like there is a competition between us, one woman against another." But now actresses have discovered solidarity. "Our power comes from coming together with other women. I am grateful to acting, but it's lonely. I long for the female family."

In her speech on stage at the Golden Beetle, Sofia Helin referred to Nora's speech at the end of Ibsen's A Doll's House. Finally dumping her stupid husband, Nora says she has been waiting for the "vidunderliga" to happen, but it never did – and now she is leaving and we hear the door slam behind her.

Helin and I try to work out the right English equivalent for vidunderliga. Helin originally suggests "the prodigiously" and we narrow it down to somewhere between "wonderful", "magical" and "sublime". She says: "Maybe it's not possible to describe it with words, but when we meet it, we always recognise it." Whatever it means exactly, I definitely recognise it whether I'm sitting in the lounge of the Grand Hotel in Stockholm or at home watching Saga Noren.