#one thing about max is that he WILL be bullied by charles but still smile bc its the best day of his life

[thearchercore]

divorce allegations on main, max apologizing in 4k, safety car ruined his race and THIS is how charles decided to respond??

[thepersonnamedsam]

learning how to drive - sv5

pairing: sebastian vettel x genz!driver (platonic), 22 grid x genz!driver (platonic)

summary: you may have your super license to drive your f1 car, but driving outside the paddock? not really your thing

word count: 1k

warnings: nothing really

note: the genz!driver is maybe 17/18 and does not have a drivers license. i have no idea about driving a car, so just ignore that part

masterlist / taglist

The second the grid had found out that you had not yet made your driver’s license, they were joking about it. You’re driving at 300 km/h every second Sunday, but you are not driving at a normal speed on the roads? What was wrong with you? Actually, you had a fair reason not to drive on the streets, you were scared. You feared hitting another car, or someone hitting you. You were scared of ignoring road signs or missing a stop sign. 

“Our youngster is scared to drive, are you not racing this weekend?” Lando had made fun of you the most, finding it funny that the younger driver was not driving a normal car. Daniel had a laugh or two with it as well, but always hoping you’d know he was only joking. Even Max cracked a joke, never really participating in bullying the driver, as he respected you very much and saw himself in you at some times. But when Danny starts to joke, Max was fast behind him laughing silently along.

George, Alex, and Charles were trying to be encouraging but they were still making jokes about it. “Should I get you tomorrow? We can share a ride, as you can’t drive”, George laughed, and you just stared at him annoyed. You still agreed, every single time he asked you. 

You were grateful for your friends, but they were still annoying like nothing in your life was. So, when Seb noticed your fear, he felt bad for you. He wanted to help you; that’s why he offered to teach you how to properly drive. Not in an F1 car, but in a worn-down Subaru Outback H6-3.0. The car belonging to his father and was the perfect car to learn to drive in. It was a manual car, it’s important to know how to drive stick. The car was old, so if you kissed a wall, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal.

“Seb I’m scared, what if I hit someone?”, your concern laced your voice. Seb sighed, already explained to you that you were first going to practice on an empty parking lot and not actually going on the road. You had done your theoretical driving test and passed, with flying colors, but starting your practical driving lessons? You just couldn’t do that. 

You sat in the car, both hands on the steering wheel, arms so outstretched Seb’s arms were hurting. “Just relax, y/n, everything is going to be fine. You are fine and you got this, it’s not your first time driving, remember? It’s your job to drive”, Seb tried to calm you down. His left hand touching your right arm and guiding it to a comfortable level. 

“Okay, now first press the coupling and shift the stick to neutral. That’s it, good job”, he told you, telling you what to do. “Now you step slowly on the gas, slowly, yeah?” You were doing it; you were driving the car! And the more time you spent in the car with Seb, the easier the driving got. You were just so happy. 

The next time someone mad a comment about your normal driving, you bit back. When Carlos approached you, already smirking you knew what was going to happen. “Hey y/n, do you think you could drive me to the paddock tomorrow?” His eyebrows wiggling like crazy. You had to hold back your smile. “Uh, yeah sure, I mean I can try, right?”, you answered him. Carlos looked at you with surprise in his eyes. He nodded; nut sure what to expect the next morning. 

When you texted him, that you were outside, he didn’t think you would be waiting for him in a Ford Mustang 1966, your first self-owned car by the way. He looked pretty stunned as he opened the door to the passenger seat. He whistled at your car and made a comment such as ‘Nice one’. So, you started the car and drove him and you to the paddock. The hotel wasn’t far away, but there still enough time to show him your new learned driving skills. You still weren’t technically allowed to drive on your own, not having attended the driver’s test yet. But no one had to know that you drove five minutes without supervision. Carlos was now there to supervise you. 

You passed him your phone; it was connected to a Bluetooth speaker. “Choose what to listen to, but don’t play Smooth Operator, or I’ll be singing to you the whole time”, you laughed at him. He was just aimlessly picking a playlist and pressing play. Kilby Girl by The backseat Lovers started to play. Nodding your head to the beat of the song, Carlos was actually a bit scared of you losing focus. But you didn’t, you arrived safely at the paddock where Seb was waiting. He had a huge grin on his face, proud of you to actually drive with someone else other than him. He hugged you, whispering how proud he was of you in your ear. You smiled; Seb was definitely your comfort person. 

Later that day, when an interviewer asked about your driving skills off the track, it had become a meme, thanks to some of the drivers, you answered honestly: “Sebastian has helped me learn to overcome my fear of driving outside the paddock. He sat with me in a car, for hours and explained everything to me. It’s hard to believe I got my super license before my actual driver’s license, but it’s fine. It’s something more to add to my resume.” 

Seb was standing behind the camera, smiling and feeling proud. He held up his two thumps and outstretched them to you. You smiled as well and bid your goodbyes to the nice interviewer. You were glad to have Seb as your mentor and you made sure to tell him that enough. 

[smoooothoperator]

What Was I Made For?

01: Crossfire

Charles Leclerc x driver!OC (Dafne Morelli)

childhood enemies, forced proximity, accidental pregnancy, enemies to lovers

a/n: Hi!!! First chapter! Are you guys excited? What do you think that will happen?

Masterlist

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Every way of feedback is very welcomed

Monza. One of the two most important races for Ferrari in the calendar.

And my home race as well. 

The weather is still warm at the end of August, the sky is blue and every house has a Ferrari flag hanging from their windows. Every person that lives in Milano or in Italy knows that this weekend is important, that this weekend is their weekend.

“Do you think they will give you a chance to be the priority today?” 

Erica, my older sister by only two years. She was completely different from me, with blonde hair and skin easily tanned. She always came to my races, being the one that takes care of my flights and to rent cars to have during the weekend. Not like Soleil, who was actually a little version of me and my nutritionist.

“I mean, I'm ahead of Leclerc. They should” I said, shrugging my shoulders as I ate my breakfast. “The only person in front of me is Max, I don't think they want to risk and fuck up things right if front of all the Tifosi. They are idiots, but not that much to make me and Charles switch positions just because I'm the second driver”

Erica looked at me with a smile, nodding as she tied the strap of her dress in the back of her neck. Every time she came to the races she made sure to be dressed with the colors of the team, always wearing red since I was contracted by Ferrari and then white, red and black when I was in Haas. Today, for my homerace, she was wearing a nice cherry red dress from Meshki, a brand I made collabs with some months ago. 

“If they were smart they would do a good job and instead of letting Charles fight, they would order him to defend you from Lando” Soleil pointed, helping Erica to tie the dress. “Is not the first time they order you do that for him, and for once that you are in front of him they should give you a chance”

“I just want to end on the podium, that is the goal today” I sighed. “What Charles does is all his business”

“At least you should talk about the strategy…” Soleil sighed. “Only to make things clear. This is your home race, he should respect that”

“Hah! Sure” I laughed. “It was my home race last year too and he didn’t think twice to overtake me in the last lap even if his engineer was screaming in his ears to not do that. That’s even more cruel that overtaking me in the middle of the race” 

“But last year you two didn't have a warning like this year” Erica sighed. 

“Whatever, he’ll be an asshole anyway”

My sisters looked at each other and rolled their eyes, probably tired of the rivalry between Charles and I. But they don’t understand, they don’t understand how it feels to always be challenged by him since the first time he saw me. It was like he was a bully and I was his victim.

“You two are twenty six, when will be the day you two fix things?” Erica asked. 

“When one of us dies” I stated, making both of my sisters groan.

“Drama queen” Soleil sighed.

“Yes I am”

Getting out of the hotel was something that took us half an hour, being stopped by fans that waited for the drivers to start their way to the track. They called my name and the nickname they gave me when I got famous.

“Princepessa”

The good thing about being half Italian was that they didn't care if my other half was British. They cared about my Italian roots, feeling proud that someone from their country is driving for Ferrari. A Tifosi driving for the Tifosi.

“Today will be your day” a fan said. “You'll win this race”

I smiled at them, letting them put the friendship bracelets on my wrists and taking pictures with them, somehow wanting to believe all the words they said.

Some meters in front of me was Charles, signing caps and shirts on his way to the car. I recognized Andrea (his personal trainer), Joris (his photographer) and then a girl, probably his new fling. They were waiting for him already inside of the car, the three of them looking down at their phones.

“Is that his new girl?” I whispered to Erica, looking at the car Charles was walking to.

“I think so, she was in the hospitality yesterday” Erica answered, nodding. “I would say she's nice, but the only things she did was make tons of Tik Tok videos and pictures for her Instagram”

“Are we gossiping about his new girl?” Soleil smiled, stepping between us. “She's not nice. She thought I was one of the restaurant crew and just ordered me to bring her a coffee! And her manners? Uhg, non existent”

“His taste in women is really suspicious” I joked, looking at that girl, who actually looked like me.

The three of us walked towards the car that was waiting for us, walking in front of Charles' car and looking at the girl that was sitting in the front seat on the passenger seat. She was looking at her phone, recording a Tik Tok probably, while Joris and Andrea tried to not make obvious eye rolls.

“Yeah, neither his friends like her” Erica pointed.

I sighed, walking to the driver seat of my rented car and got it, turning on the engine while my sisters got in the car. People noticed us and started to wave at me, all of them holding the shirts and and even flags and waving them as I drove next to them.

“They want you to win” Soleil said excitedly, watching the Tifosi wave their hands.

“They want Ferrari to win” I corrected. “They don't care of it's me or Charles”

I heard them sigh and I just shrugged my shoulders, driving towards the track while the police guided us, somehow making sure neither Charles or myself suffered an accident before arriving.

If we have an accident during the race it’s no longer their problem.

After I parked the car, I saw Charles parking right next to mine, opening the door and looking at me. He sighed, rolling his eyes when I waved at him and immediately placed his hand on the back of the girl that was with him in this race.

I walked with my sisters, just a little faster to enter the paddock first, and when I looked at his girl I nearly laughed right on his face.

She was dressed with a top that only covered her front side and a skirt that had an opening on the side and let you see all her leg. 

“I think you went to the wrong place” I smiled at that girl. “Coachella was on April and Tomorrowland was on July”

“It's fashion” she frowned, her voice sounding too high. “You wouldn't understand”

“I do understand. At least I went to the Met Gala” I smiled, walking away and pressing my Paddock Pass on the ID scanner.

I could feel Charles' eyes on my back, probably thinking about ways of how to take me off of the track in a few hours, or how to poison my lunch. He would do anything to make sure I won't perform better than him.

Cameras and reporters followed me, making my sisters walk some feet behind me, taking pictures of me and asking things related to the race, which I always replied with the same answer.

“I'll do everything I can to win. It's an important race for me and for the team”

When they were satisfied with my answer and after they had enough pictures of me, they walked away to focus on other drivers that were around the paddock too.

As soon as the red building was close enough, the media managers and content creators of the team started to fly around me and soon after Charles, asking questions and doing the trends that were famous on social media.

Let's start the act.

The smile on my face was half real, half fake. Having Charles near while we were inside of the hospitality meant that the rivalry we had since kids had to be left outside the building, making us act friendly and fake just to make the team and sponsors happy.

“Hey Daf!” 

He knows I hate that nickname. He knows that every time he called me like that I ended up screaming at him, telling him that he's not allowed to call me that way, only one person and he is dead.

“Charlie!” I smiled, fakely, watching how he fought to not roll his eyes or look daggers at me. “Those jeans again? How many of them do you have?”

In moments like this I enjoyed teasing him, giving him nicknames he hated and making sure he couldn't fight me. 

“This jeans, dear Dafne, are my lucky jeans” he said, smiling. 

“Mhm, I wonder when are you going to burn them” I said. “But seems that your girl has the same taste as you, now makes sense”

I saw him clench his jaw and fists, taking deep breaths and looking at him with his eyes furrowed. He knows he can't do anything, so he simply smiles and nods, walking away to his room followed by that girl.

“What was her name?” I asked Soleil. “She has face of Karen”

“I think it's actually Karen” she laughed. “I wonder where he met her”

“I'm sure it was on Raya” I chuckled. “Maybe a summer fling that stayed for too long and he doesn't even know how to say no to her”

“I don't know who I should feel sorry for” Soleil sighed. “Him because she clearly is with him for the money, or her because she will probably be replaced soon”

I shrugged my shoulders and looked at the room with his number on the door, wondering what they would be doing. Ignoring each other? Her looking at the phone and taking pictures while Charles got changed? Probably that, or she would even be using him to take pictures of her so she could post them on Instagram, hinting that she's with him.

“Whatever, they are adults” I sighed, getting up. 

When I opened the door of my room and sighed, hearing how they talked, or most likely argued.

“What is her fucking problem? Why did she talk like that to me?” that girl exclaimed. “How dare she?”

“Come on, it wasn't that bad, Melanie…”

“Are you going to defend her or me?” her voice was too high, piercing into my ears. “Charles!”

“What! Fuck off, Melanie! You knew where you were coming, don't cry now. I told you what clothes you had to pack and, as always, you did whatever you wanted” he groaned, and I could hear how he closed the door of his closet.

“God, sometimes you are so stupid”

“Whatever”

I smiled, changing my clothes to my racing suit and folding my clothes, stretching my back and arms before walking out of the room, just at the same time as Charles. His jaw was clenched and I could see the vein of his temple a little swollen, something that always happened whenever he was angry or stressed, and probably now would be both reasons.

“Next time you bring a girl, make sure she knows where she's coming” I whispered.

“What about you won't open your mouth next time I bring a girl?” he frowned. “You are giving me a headache”

“Oh really? That's nice!” I smiled, winking at him and walking away. “You should have a painkiller, anyway”

“What I should have is a good race without you in front of me” he groaned.

“Too bad it won't be possible” I said. “Get used to it, I plan of being in front of you as much as I can”

That smile. 

God, I hated that smile.

I hated that she always knew what to say and how. 

“We'll see soon” I frowned.

She rolled her eyes and walked away, making me follow her with my eyes. Melanie walked out of the room and stood next to me, never letting go of her phone.

“Should I go to the balcony? I think there are nice views of the… How do you call it?” she said, making me take a deep breath and fake a smile.

“Paddock” I said.

“Oh yeah! That” she smiled.

“Look” I sighed. “I have things to do, I'm not your photographer”

Before she could say something I already was walking away towards the restaurant, sitting on a table and looking at my phone. Just a small lunch before doing interviews and then getting ready for the race, an ice bath and some stretch outs.

“Where did you leave that girl?”

I turned around and sighed when I recognized Erica's voice. She sat next to me and placed the cup of coffee in front of me.

Dafne's older sister always tried to be out of our  arguments. When we were kids, she always avoided our fights and stood away with my brother and Jules, ignoring us. I always believed that Jules and her would end up together, and somehow maybe they were for some time.

Maybe that's why she always tried to befriend me too, to make me feel that Jules was here too, and for her to have someone that reminds her of Jules.

“Last time I saw her she was asking me to take pictures of her” I sighed, grabbing the cup and drinking it slowly. “She was getting annoying”

“And why did you bring her, then?” she sighed. “I thought you were smarter”

“Did Dafne send you so she could just use this against me later?” I said looking at her, watching how she shook her head and smiled weakly.

“I came here because I care for you, Charles. I don't care if my sister and you can't stand each other” she said, resting her back on the chair and crossing her arms in front of her chest. My eyes went to the small tattoo of her wrist, one of many she has. The little 17 was facing me.

“A guy has his needs” I sighed. “And she was there on vacations”

“Sure, but you know what she has been doing while you were out of the hospitality?” she sighed, but I already knew the answer. “She thinks she's your girlfriend, Charles, only because you let her be in your bed”

“And what if she is?” I frowned, and somehow that tattoo got darker than it already was.

Jules would be disappointed, right?

“Look, I just…” I sighed, but immediately shook my head. “You wouldn't understand”

Of course she wouldn't. Because I don't understand it either.

“Then explain it to me, hm? I might be Dafne's sister, but I'm your friend too” she said. 

“Not now, okay?” I sighed. “I have things to do, a race to make”

“Alright” she sighed. “Good luck today, Charlie. Just… don't kill my sister”

She stood up and walked away, not after she messed my hair softly.

Jules and her would have made a really beautiful couple.

I took a deep breath and sighed, getting up and walking to my room again. I looked inside Dafne's room and frowned when I saw a fruit basket on her table, finding a big amount of peaches on it.

“Fuck” I sighed, walking in and grabbing that fruit.

I might hate her, but I don't wish her death.

“What are you doing?”

I tensed and took a deep breath, turning around and finding Dafne leaning on the door frame, watching me with the peaches in my hands. 

“Nothing” I said. 

“Putting a fruit you know I'm allergic to in a basket?” she frowned. “I thought you were stupid, but this? This is crossing the line”

“No! Hey!” I frowned. Did she really think I put them on purpose? “I just grabbed them because I know you are allergic to the peel of the peach, asshole. You are welcome”

Before she could say anything I walked out of her room and went to mine, locking the door and groaning. 

The Italian anthem echoed through the stands of Monza, reverberating in my chest as I stood in front of the grid. My heart pounded in time with the fervent claps and chants of the Tifosi, their energy a palpable force lifting me higher. The sea of red around the circuit was a sight to behold, with their flags waving, faces painted, the roar of their passion almost louder than the melody of the anthem.

This was my home, my people, and today, I was going to give them a race to remember.

After the final notes finished, I walked back to my car, in the first line of the grid, next to the navy blue Red Bull. No one was in front of me, the only car to beat was the Red Bull. I looked to the car behind it, the other red one of the grid, Charles’ car. I felt his eyes on me, and the only thing I did was put on my helmet and remember that today was my day, not his.

This is my race.

The formation lap felt like an eternity, each second stretching as I warmed up the tires, feeling the grip, the balance of the car. As we lined up on the grid once more, the tension was almost unbearable.

Five lights.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

Lights out.

I launched off the line, my tires gripping perfectly as I sped towards the first chicane. Max had a strong start, but I was right on his tail, the slipstream pulling me closer. Behind me, I could feel Charles trying to find an opening, but I shut the door firmly at every opportunity.

Lap after lap, I pushed harder, feeling the car’s every response. I stayed within striking distance of Max, waiting for my chance. And then, halfway through the race, it came. Max made a slight error going into the Parabolica, his line not as clean as usual. It was all the invitation I needed.

I dived down the inside, my heart in my throat, and for a moment, we were side by side. But I had the better exit, my car flying past him down the main straight as the tifosi erupted in a deafening cheer. The lead was mine.

Now it was a matter of maintaining it. Every lap felt like a battle, not just with the track but with my own nerves. I could feel Charles gaining behind me, his pace relentless. But I focused forward, hitting every apex, every braking zone perfectly. The laps ticked down, and with each one, my confidence grew.

The final lap was a blur. I could feel the tears in my eyes, barely letting me see the track, but I kept driving, pushing and turning the wheel until I crossed the finish line. 

“Dafne Morelli, you are a race winner!”

I did it. I finally did it.

As I parked the car in the pit lane and got out of the car, I heard the roar of the crowd, all of them waving the Italian flag over their heads. I saw my team, all dressed in red and jumping, cham¡nting my name. I felt pats on my back and helmet, some drivers coming to congratulate me.

But I felt that gaze too, the one that always burned me alive whenever I won him.

And it felt so satisfying knowing that I won against Charles Leclerc.

taglist

@racinggirl @elisysd @alltoomaples @ssprayberrythings @rach3164 @yvonne-dump @deliciousfestsalad @janeh22 @hc-dutch @ninifee1802 @kakorrhaphiphobia @ssararuffoni @itsjustkhaos @scaramou @tapedeck-hearts @apollosfavkiddo @sltwins

[f1girliefics]

A Difficult Start

Charles Leclerc x Reader

Warning: mention of injury

Summary: You were a sweetheart, but he was taken.

When you became the social media manager for Max Verstappen, a new door opened for you and you met the other drivers.

Working for Red Bull and Max was amazing and exactly what you were looking for.

Helping and managing social media accounts, and taking pictures at times, you quickly became a part of the team.

When your eyes met Charles for the first time, it was strange. You felt a connection you couldn’t describe. 

It was as if you met your other half.

The problem?

The problem was the tall woman by his side.

The woman he probably didn’t even fully know.

That night, during your first meeting, you went to the bathroom when she came in with her friend.

The things she said about you.

You were disgusted. 

And you should have known to trust your instincts, she was indeed a bully.

And she further proved your point when she decided to pour her wine all over you.

She apologised but still couldn’t keep the smirk off of her face.

Nah, you won’t play her games.

Back then, you promised yourself that you wouldn’t allow her to do anything else to you.

And so far, you have managed to do just that.

Avoiding her and the Ferrari team was a good start.

But fate often had other ideas.

Somehow, no matter what you were doing, you ran into Charles.

You have been taking photos of the team for a year-book you wanted to have as a gift for everyone when you ran into him by accident. 

“Oh, sorry.” you said even before you saw who it was you ran into.

“It’s all good. Are you okay?” the accent was unmistakable. You looked up and nodded at Charles.

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay, you seem busy.”

“Oh, I’m taking pictures of the team.” you showed him your camera.

"That's nice! You always take such good pictures. I would hire you myself if I could but you are already... taken." it felt as if his words had a deeper meaning, but you tried not to search for it.

"Thank you very much. I'm glad my work is paying off." you smiled.

“It really is. Sorry, but I have to go, take care.” he smiled. He had such a gorgeous smile.

Then, everyone was invited to celebrate Max’s win. Or should you say another win?

Charles and his girlfriend was there of course and you could feel her eyes stabbing daggers into your back from afar.

She really didn’t like you, and you had to be ready in case she would do something.

You went to the bathroom and on your way back you noticed Charles standing alone, he looked at you as you got closer.

“Enjoying yourself?” he asked but the music was so loud you didn’t hear him, you leaned in closer as he leaned into your ear and asked the same thing.

You quickly nodded as an answer and he smiled.

This, apparently to his girlfriend, looked like flirting… her insecurities were showing.

“Don’t flirt with my boyfriend.” she said as she tried to pour another glass of wine on you, but your hand came up and the glass ended up on her.

You quickly spoke up.

“Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t see your hand there!” you said and you just knew she would use this against you.

Make you out to be the jealous one and ruining her dress.

She stormed out with Charles following her.

You looked across the table and saw Carlos looking at you.

“I saw it.” he told you and you smiled. At least someone was on your side.

But your evening didn’t end there, why would it?

After her attempt at ruining at your dress, now it was suddenly her mission to break your ankles.

She tried to trip you up at least five times already, and it had been only two hours since you arrived.

But then, she took it too far.

She pushed you down a flight of stairs.

“Oh my Gosh! Y/N!” you heard her yell. “Someone quick, she fell down! She had too much to drink!” you would have cared if it wasn’t for the throbbing pain in your wrist. But the red blinking of a camera pointing right at the stairs did give you some ease.

You were taken to the hospital where they determined that you had broken your wrist.

As you thought back the noise of your bone breaking kept on making you cringe.

“There was a camera, check the footage, I didn’t fall, she pushed me.” you informed the police after you called them into the hospital.

You were there when they arrested her.

Her story went from blaming you for drinking to saying she was trying to catch you and finally, she said it was all an accident and she never touched you.

They saw the footage, but her constantly changing story was also raising many red flags.

“The footage from the club clearly shows you pushing Miss Y/L/N. You are arrested for assault and will be brought in for questioning.” said the officer once he had enough of her drama.

You quickly turned and walked back to work.

You avoided everything expect for the police when they came to interview you or called you for updates.

You just worked.

Then a week passed.

Two weeks.

A month.

Now, you were in Monaco getting ready for the next race.

You had your laptop as you posted more photos of the Team and Max, you all were excited for the weekend as usual.

It was difficult to find a quiet corner but when you finally did, you were very glad.

You worked for about two hours in silence when you heard someone approaching.

“Hi.” he said as he came around the corner.

“Hello Charles.”

“I see you needed a quiet moment as well.” he said as he sat down at the table across from you.

“I did. I can leave if you need yours.”

“No, you can stay.” he said, silence followed, rather uncomfortable silence which he ended up breaking. “I’m sorry. I should have said this sooner, but I’m sorry about my ex.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“She told me you were jealous of her, I found it strange, you don’t seem the kind who would pour wine on a person for that… And then the police showed me the video. I am truly sorry, Y/N.”

“She thought I would steal you from her.”

“All she wanted is my money. She always asked me to buy her new things. I later found out she sold a couple things and the others she kept, she went around and showed it to everyone.”

“She was a bitch.”

“Yes.” he agreed immediately. “I just hope we can start a friendship.” you smiled at him and nodded.

“I’d like that.” he smiled as well.

— a year later —

As usual, the Pit was loud, with people talking, engineers checking the cars, and teams discussing the strategies, you even saw Carlos a couple times talking to everyone in the Ferrari pit.

You were walking from the AlphaTauri pit back to the Red Bull Racing one when someone grabbed you.

“Gosh! Stop scaring me like that!” you said as you almost dropped your camera.

“Sorry.” Charles laughed at you. 

“Excited for today?” you asked and he nodded like a child in a candy store.

“I have a great chance at winning I feel like.”

“I hope you do. But even if you don’t we will have a party.” although your relationship with Charles started with turbulences, you two managed to work it all out.

“Will you wear the red dress?”

“Only if you win.” you smiled with mischief as he pulled you closer and placed a quick kiss on your lips.

“I will win. I have to see you in red.” you pulled him in for one last quick kiss before he had to leave. "You will see."

You were certainly looking forward to seeing him on that podium. 

[sweetmusingss]

“So, all I am hearing is that you would have bullied me if we were in school together,” he teased you before giving you a playful smirk. He didn’t really regret not having a normal schooling experience. He never let people’s opinions of him get him down too much but he did care more when he was younger. It used to bother him that he felt like he struggled to fit in. Oscar shrugged when you offered to throw his ex-girlfriend overboard. “I am over it now. Besides, you are way too small to be doing something like that. I would be impressed if you had that kind of strength in you. I figured that is why poisoning is your typical ammunition,” he said before taking another sip of his wine. He looked back at you, his brows furrowed as he heard what you said to him. “That still really sucks.. I mean, long distance is really difficult honestly,” he said, thinking about how his own girlfriend and him were practically long distance. She didn’t really like all the traveling so he was partly used to being on his own but it still sucked to have your partner so far away all the time. “I can’t blame you though. But I mean, at least your ex cared that much?,” he said, not really thinking about his words and how he was hinting at how his girlfriend didn’t seem to care what he was doing and who he was with.

“I was not a bully and no I don’t think I would’ve bullied you. I probably would’ve flirted with you, but you were probably that really smart guy who didn’t care about preppy dumb cheerleaders. Maybe you would’ve been my tutor...” I look up at him, giving him a flirtatious look, giggling quietly. “I may be small, but I could probably throw you overboard so don’t tempt me. I’ve beaten Charles, Max and Lando at arm wrestles... don’t fuck with me, Piastri.” I poke his side, not realizing that we had inched closer to one another as we talked, my arm almost brushing against his now. “I didn’t mind the long distance... it made me miss him and appreciate him more when I saw him. He was just too insecure. I mean, yeah, Charles is really hot so I get it but still... I trusted him enough even though he had pretty girl friends. I guess it just showed that I was more mature. Considering now I spend all my time with really attractive F1 drivers, I don’t think we would’ve lasted too long anyways. Just not meant to be.” I shrug, clearly not too fussed about it. I take a long sip of my wine before looking up at him again when he mentions the caring bit, shaking my head. “I think caring and being jealous are two very different things... it seems like your girlfriend isn’t the jealous type, she trusts you enough to let you come on this boat with a bunch of girls she assumedly doesn’t know, where you’ll be drinking and partying... There’s no way my ex would’ve been okay with me laying in a guy’s bed, drinking wine and watching a ‘romantic’ movie... but your girlfriend obviously trusts you enough?” 

__

“I can make the cookies for you any time, baby. Win or lose. But I will always be rooting for you to win and I know you have it in you. There’s a reason everyone who has worked in this sport for years and years talks about how naturally talented and gifted you are,” I say, kissing the top of your head gently. “You don’t have to thank me though. I will always be here for you, I promise,” I say, keeping my arms wrapped tightly around you. You were so different for me than any relationship I had been in before. Yeah, some of my exes didn’t treat me great but I also always had walls up just because of how I was raised. With you though, I was completely myself and I let you in so easily. And I wanted to spend all the time with you that I could. It was important to me to be there every single race weekend too, never feeling like I had to show up for you but because I wanted to.

“Cookies probably taste better after a win... but I am glad to know that the potential of homemade cookies is always on the table.” Max chuckles softly, smiling as you kiss the top of his head. Max usually felt a sense of dread or emptiness when it was time for the vacation, being such a workaholic that he didn’t want to step away from training and all that, he loved driving and being in the car. But this year, he was so looking forward to relaxing with you and spending every moment of the day with you and not worrying about schedules or flights or timezone differences or having to be away from you. He was also excited to spend time with Renee and Charles, happy that he had you now and the dynamic just felt different, better now. He was always the 3rd wheel with them, and now he didn’t have to be and he was just excited to turn his brain off and drink and just relax for once in his life.

[williamsmybeloved]

F1 drivers as types of students

Kimi Räikkönen-the sleepy one

Classes at 9am or 3pm; these kinds of students are found with their eyes sagging or in deep sleep when the class is still on. Either they had too much beer or they had too much beer.

Antonio Giovinazzi- overactive

He always has a question to ask and comment to make. He joined a book, science, math, chess, debate, or glee club.

Pierre Gasly- the intelligent friend

He never lets you down, if you somehow forgot about exam, he has your back and lets you copy his.

Or if you just simply dont know something, he will teach you this thing better than the teacher would.

Yuki Tsunoda-the cudder

There is always one student who never has his teeth at rest. He has a gum, chocolate or bits of snacks in his pocket; to eat in the class.

Fernando Alonso- “failure”

the one failing all of his classes, but helping his friends with their homeworks and everything

Esteban Ocon- drama queen

This person wants to get some attention at any cost. And really loves dramas. You don’t have to join a drama club to be a Drama Queen.

Sebastian Vettel- good from the heart

he always ask his teacher how are they feeling, makes sure that everybody is feeling fine

actually has pretty good grades

Lance Stroll- the teacher’s pet

These students take front seats in the class and laugh loudly at teachers’ jokes.

They haunt teachers in school halls or torture them after class is over.

Charles Leclerc- clueless

Clueless students have no idea what they’re doing over here.

Carlos Sainz Jr. - the day dreamer

Facing the board, or the wall, or the floor or gazing at the teacher, whatever! They have the ability to adapt themselves in the voluble classroom and still – dream!

Nikita Mazepin-

the one that barely shows up to any class

Mick Schumacher- the descendant

He is actually a good student, but he’s constantly compared to his dad. Teachers always ask him if he is son of his dad, and those teachers give him the feeling he will never be as good as his dad

Daniel Ricciardo- smiley

the one always smiling, sharing good vibes with others, kinda like the class clown but more intelligent and actually funny!

Lando Norris- artist (youtuber/streamer)

They have a kind of a separate world where creativity and inspiration rule.

Lewis Hamilton- natural leader

Natural Leaders have an inborn capacity to stand out like a sore thumb. They always have good ideas and know how to attract people. They are great examples to follow.

Valtteri Bottas-nerd

Nerds prefer books to social life. Books are clever. Books don’t bully you. Books don’t ask stupid questions. What’s more, books fertilize your mind with superb ideas and make you monstrously intelligent.

Sergio Pérez- grey mouse

really intelligent student, but in class there are a few smarter than him so he always has to deal with their shades.

Max Verstappen-star

School celebrities are just fabulous, no matter what they actually do. They have groups of both fans and haters.

Nicholas Latifi- intellectual outsider

This outcast usually takes the back seat. He got used to the fact everyone in the class ignores him.

He seems to be quite odd and misanthropic. Nevertheless, when talking to the Intellectual Outsider, you can be favorably impressed that this student is very smart!

George Russell-hard worker

This student is highly motivated. He knows what he wants and how to achieve the goal.

Even though that he is not always the smartest in the class, he still tries hard and really gets what he wants.

[dark-imagine-robots]

FNAF canon and TOTC FNAF au 1: Won't you be my Friend?

This is the AU of which the canon and TOTC FNAF stories prexist together. In other words, they are one story rather than a real collusion. "A dear of light, that's what you are." that is what Timothy's mother, Anna Whidden, use to say to him. Before...she parished. One may moarn, one may pass on, and one would be vengful. In 1982, Anna passed leaving her two children behind, Timothy Michael Whidden and Maxwell Ernest Whidden. Timothy was 8 years old, his brother was 10 in 1982. Their grandparents, their decease father's parents, were meant to keep care of them. They were under custody, but never took them in. The grandparents would only pay the bills for the house the two children sleep in, and only come to give them money for food and clothes before leaving again. It is unclear why it was this way, it could have been so many things. Timothy was always in his home, with only the company of his dear bear. A special, gold bear, a plush Fredbear. One that his mother has given him a long time ago. This bear is his only friend when it came to being home, but among other friends, he will always the best friend. Timothy had two other friends, Charles Emily and William Afton. Both boys were the same age as Timothy. Charles was a very playful boy, he loved to play games of all kinds, but he always loved to play toys with the two other boys as the favorite game. William was a smart boy, quite imaginative within a world of his own. All though William was not spry boy, due to his weight, he was never left behind by his friends. A trio of a perfect childhood friendship. That is, until 1983. The Fazbear company was rather a busy company in the 80s and 70s, having two locations and one under way as of 1983. It is owned by Fredric Cawthon, under help with co-owner Dan McFly Whidden and Tech/robotics maker Peter Calvin Whidden. However, the Whidden brothers seemed to be the true heart of Fazbear's. The main Fazbear loction, of that time, would be Fredbear's Family Diner, which is the location where the brothers mostly worked. These brothers are Timothy's lost uncles, or uncles he was never introduced too. They would only find out about Timothy until October of 1983, Peter was the one to find Timothy locked away and frightened in his workshop. That day, is when Timothy and his uncles grew as familias relatives. Maxwell was found out as well, but rather furious. Not because he was not being given any attention, but because this would mean he wasn't going to be able to control and torment his brother anymore. Maxwell wanted to always be undercontrol for his own gains, he was young. With the death of both his father and mother, he blamed Timothy since there was no one else to blame. Such young mind like his could not comprehend the fact that life takes, it always has to be someone's fault. It felt quite nice to blame someone you least favor, so that is what Maxwell did. This control lead him in wrong directions, as well as becoming a troublesome child with a group of very troublesome children. Which he did have a rather mischievous that always followed his lead. It was nearing Timothy's birthday in November of 1983, but things were very rocky. Charles was at the hospital to treat a cancer he had, and William's family were going through a rough patch of divorce and separation. Timothy was alone on the days nearing his birthday, scared and alone with only his bear. But even his bear could not stop what happened next. Maxwell, Timothy's own brother, and the children that followed Max stuffed Timothy between the jaws of the Fredbear animatronic. Thus crushing Timothy's skull. William saw it all, as he and his mother just walked in as a surprise for Timothy. They came in just a moment befor witnessing Timothy's skull being crushed. It was quite the scene, seeing a friend's relative remove him from the jaws of a robot. Witness the relative screaming and crying out in pain, as they held your dying friend in their arms. William was in shock, disbelief, he never seen such a loss nor felt it ever in his life. He never seen so much blood, nor has he seen a man in so much pain. Will was never the same after that, on the inside. After the death of his friend, he had to share it with Charles once he was out of the hospital. They both moarned, but could not do anything. Slowly and eventually, William and Charles began to drift apart. Then one day, Charles was just missing entirely on 1984. Rumor went and gone that someone took him, or killed him. But William could not share anything about Charles because of how far apart they already were. In 1985, on William's 10 th birthday, William was brought to Fazbear's second location since the first was promptly shut down due to low costumers. William was not a fan of the toy animatronics, but did not hate them. He always loved the Fazbear robots and mascots, they always striked him curious and made his mind wonder. On William's birthday, he was registered for a personal party. His mother wanted it to be a special party, so William would not feel any less due to lack of friends. William's mother would leave Will alone to not make him feel restrained in a Fazbear place, she knows how much he loves these things. He felt alone at his party at first, until a gold rabbit with a purple bow and starey purple vest came along to greet William with cake. William was overwhelmed with joy, he never seen the mascot before and it was not at all robotic. It sparked hope in William, and made him feel, truely, special. William wanted more company from this version of Bonbear (springbonnie), and so he did. The rabbit sat by his side and told William fictional stories of many sorts. Then the rabbit offered William a "breif tour" of the place. William, of course, agrees to it. It was indeed a tour, but William got to even see the original robots that were pushed out for the toys. They were withered, but William was not petrafied. He found it very interesting that they were in this state. Out of curiosity, William would try to look inside of them, which he would breifly see something he wasn't suppose to see before the rabbit stops Will. The rabbit had not a single disturbance in its tone of voice, it just simply told will that the tour is over and it is time to go home, in a playful tone. Will was then brought back safely, and after that party, Will never came back due to his family moving around. William had a rough few years of elementary and middle school, since his family kept moving. Once settled, high school was only hell. The school work was rather a breeze for Will since he is rather intelligent, but the students always bullied him due to his weight and smile. Will only smiled just to seem friendly and maybe gain friends, yet he gets punched for it and ending up with a chipped tooth. After high school, he tries to find jobs since colleges were just too costly to afford right away. Which he had factory jobs, it was enough to get by and he gets into a Technology college. He was young, but unhealthy, he was told he might become diabetic if he doesn't fix his eating habits. He gets to it, going through a keto diet until he got better, yet he lost track of eating sometimes since he has college, a factory job, and an unstudy money balance. So he was both thin and had dark eyes to match. William was tired of his old name, he is not the William he once was so he gave himself the new name of Dave Miller. He thought it would be better that way. After graduating college, Dave quit his factory job to find a better job. Despite his smile, he was not sound of mind. His tired psyche, and his mind of wonder truely became mixed. So his applications had rather strange fill-outs. At this time, Fazbear was long gone, until it started to spark back to life again. Dave finds this out rather quickly, his mother always knew he loved that place, so she was the one to give the news. However, his applications were always rejected. Years and years his applications were rejected. So long, in fact, he was there when both the official and fan websites of the Fazbear company were started. He learned and studied both websites tiredlessly, since he had nothing else to do but wait and only test out his tech skills here and there. Then... One faithful day, Dave was finally up to interview and the next he was hired. His happiest day will continue on to the happiest days. But he would be rather odd under all of this satisfaction, he knows there is something wrong that makes him believe it is something right. He is not a murder, he is strange, just compeled towards more, dark areas and cracks. Simply attracted to the mysteries, knowing full well that they may be true. Even attracted and has addmiration for the one that made his childhood wonders come to life, which somehow that one, that man, is still walking on earth and among the living.

[angryhausfrau-writes]

I Travel Troubled Oceans: Chapter 7 - In Which Jack Has a Minor Crisis

“Does it ever bother you that they're just using us?” Jack asks once they get back home.

Charles is brushing his teeth in the palatial en-suite bathroom off Jack's equally palatial bedroom where Jack is lounging on the mountain of pillows he's piled on the bed. And the reason they're not down the hall in Charles's bedroom or in the upstairs sitting room or something is because the girls are sleeping in Anne's room and he doesn't want to wake them. Anne gets quite cranky when she's woken up in the middle of the night – or early hours of the morning, as is the case now. And Jack has absolutely no desire to find out how Max would react to such a thing.

It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Jack feels rather on an uneven keel still and had asked Charles to stay with him a little longer.

Charles spits his mouthful of toothpaste into the sink. “This is what crawled up your ass tonight?” Because sure, he's spent better nights – better nights at strip clubs, even. But no one puked in his shoes, so he can't complain all that much.

Jack gestures evasively. Who's bothered? He's certainly not.

Charles snorts. “We're using them too, right? That was your whole speech about making ourselves underestimated – so they wouldn't look too close while we rob them blind.”

And it's never been Charles's approach, that's for damn sure. He's much more blunt and straightforward than Jack. A sledgehammer compared to his rapier wit. But Jack's running the crew now, not Charles – his word goes.

And he's honestly learned to appreciate the approach, even if it'd taken a while. There's something to be said for this quiet kind of power over other people. The kind that doesn't need to flex itself obviously because it's so absolute.

The kind of power Eleanor had aspired to. The kind of power Max has worked to accrue. Jack's is a different kind of strength than the kind he's used to, but it is strength. And Charles will follow him - the rightful leader of their group, won in blood and the grit of the street, even if they're working to leave it behind.

Jack squirms a little uncomfortably, which is surprising. He's usually the last to admit discomfort – even if he feels it a hell of a lot more strongly than Charles or Anne – or even Max, probably.

“You don't mind selling yourself like that? As some rich bitch's fucking Ken doll or whatever.” It's galling for Jack himself. And given Charles's history...

Charles bares his teeth in something that's not really a smile. Selling himself is something he's intimately familiar with. “We're all selling ourselves one way or another, Jack. That's capitalism.” At least in this line of work he's gaining more than he's giving away.

Jack laughs. “Thanks Karl.” A pause. “Where'd you even pick that shit up anyway?”

“I read it in a book.”

Jack gives him a look of such pure “No shit, Sherlock,” that Charles has to laugh. Even if the sarcasm of it is ruined a little bit by Jack hanging upside down off the end of the bed.

“I went away for two years, Jack. Had to do something with my time.”

Jack is a little ashamed because he'd sort of assumed Charles had spent his entire prison stay lifting heavy weights and intimidating other street trash out of their cigarettes like some sort of overgrown schoolyard bully.

“I didn't even know you knew how to read, Chaz. Good for you.”

“Fuck you, Jack.” Charles flops down next to him on the bed, though, so he can't be too insulted.

“Not tonight, darling. I have a headache.”

Charles snorts. “That's what you get for staying up all night.”

A pause.

And then, because Charles apparently isn't in the mood to let Jack prevaricate and just go the fuck to sleep, he says, “I know you got this need to prove yourself to everyone – even the rich asshole pieces of shit we're trying to rob. And I think it's stupid as all fuck. Who gives a shit what they think?”

Jack already has him and Anne and Max and Mary. Who gives a fuck about anyone else? Who's opinion even matters outside of them?

“Caring about that shit just -”

“Makes you weak. Yes, Charles, I know.” Jack sighs. “God, but you're fucked up.”

Charles just shrugs. He might be fucked up, but at least he's less stressed out.

“I know, I know.” Jack waves his hand, floppily dismissive. “But I can't just let it go like you – like Anne.”

It matters to him that he's seen, that he's valued. And maybe it's stupid. And maybe it stems from a dead mother and an absent, alcoholic father – or whatever else armchair psychiatry would ascribe. But it's true nonetheless. Jack cares.

“I guess you're just going to have to make your mark on the world with poncy clothes instead of criminal enterprise, Jack. Good thing you got that friend with an art gallery.”

Jack snorts. If she remembers her drunken promises tomorrow, he'll be shocked. But at least he knows who to drop leading hints around, and that's something.

“Better get to sewing, Jack. You're gonna be a star. Dressing all the stupid little celebrities for the red carpet and shit while me and Anne and Mary do all the actual work.”

“Oh fuck off, Chaz. I'm going to be a fucking superb fashion designer.”

--

Jack might have been slightly more sleep deprived than he thought, when he wakes up around two in the afternoon and starts remembering his conversation with Charles from the night before. A Charles who is still passed out in Jack's bed and doing something that might be construed as snuggling.

And Jack should really leave – get out of there before Charles wakes up and realizes that they're spooning. But Mary brought him a thermos of coffee, because she's an absolute saint. And Anne, because she loves him and he loves her and she's the other half of Jack's soul, brought him a full English, kept warm in one of those little insulated pizza delivery bags she must have stolen off of some poor sap at some point.

So he stays in bed, with Charles sleeping at his side, and starts sketching out runway fashions.

[theyellowsubmarinefanremakeblog]

Part 11

(Cut to the Blue Meanies charging across the landscape. The sub arrives just as the Pepperlanders are preparing themselves for musical battle.)

George: There’s a war on, here.

John: Then brothers in war, to the skirmish. Must we 'ence? 

Other John: Shall we 'ence?

Paul: Let's not waste anymore time sitting on the 'ence. BEATLES TO BATTLE! CHAAAARGE!

(Ringo blows a fanfare on his trumpet. They then proceed to courageously leap into the fray... and are chased by the Meanies.)

Ringo: AHH! The battle’s come to the Beatles!

(One Stormblueper brings along a bulldog.)

John: We're surrounded.

Ringo: Nice dog, though.

(As the Beatles and SPLHCB confuse the dog, cometh another song.)

SONG: Hey Bulldog

Sheepdog, standing in the rain Bullfrog, doing it again Some kind of happiness is Measured out in miles What makes you think you're Something special when you smile

Childlike no one understands Jackknife in your sweaty hands Some kind of innocence is Measured out in years You don't know what it's like To listen to your fears

You can talk to me You can talk to me You can talk to me If you're lonely, you can talk to me

Big man (yeah) walking in the park Wigwam frightened of the dark Some kind of solitude is Measured out in you You think you know me, but you haven't got a clue

You can talk to me You can talk to me You can talk to me If you're lonely, you can talk to me

Hey hey

Roar

Hey, bulldog (hey bulldog)

Woof

Hey, bulldog Hey, bulldog Hey, bulldog

Hey man

Whats up brother?

Roof

What do ya say

I say, roof

You know any more?

Ah ah (you got it, that's it, you had it) That's it man, wo ho, that's it, you got it

Woah

Look at me man, I only had ten children

Ah ah ah ah ah ah ha ha ha ha Quiet, quiet (ok) Quiet Hey, bulldog, hey bulldog

Paul: Look! Reinforcements!

John: That’s what we need. Sgt. Pepper, reinforce our music!

(And so, the final battle begins as the Pepperlanders, with the Beatles and Sgt. Pepper’s Band playing, advance.)

Cerulio: DO SOMETHING!

(Max lies down on his belly and plays dead. Frank the Stormblueper throws up his hands.)

Frank the Stormblueper: That’s it! That does it! I’m OFF! I’m done, ya hear?! I’ve had enough! I’m going back to bed! (leaves)

Cerulio: GET BACK HERE, YOU SPINELESS TWIT!

(The Pepperlanders begin to fight back against the Meanies. Cerulio whips out his pistol, points and shoots... but a flower pops out. He throws it to the ground, grabs a machine gun from the nearest Stormblueper, and opens fire, but even more flowers come out of the barrel.)

Cerulio: IT’S NO USE! THE BULLETS ARE JUST BURSTING INTO BLOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

(He then throws the gun to the ground and begins to strangle the Meanie he got it from. Meanwhile, as we see a Pepperlander playing a marching band drum and kicking a Meanie while goosestepping, Clef, Charles, Princess Pepper, Jeremy and Vannessa all jump down from the Rhapsody.)

Pepper: GERONIMO!

(They land and join the battle. A bunch of Meanies rush toward Clef and Charles, who make a run for it, but are cornered. Thinking quick, Clef grabs a large flower, cocks it like a shotgun and points it at their adversaries.)

Clef: All right, nobluey move! This thing’s loaded. I’ll let ya have it! 

(The Meanies scream girlishly and retreat, while Clef twirls the flower. Cobalt runs up to Vannessa and kicks her. Her response is to take out a didgeridoo. Cobalt takes one look, then tears like heck across the battlefield, Vannessa chasing after him. A Stormblueper and a Pepperlander run towards each other, as if about to fight. The Pepperlander suddenly turns tail and flees, while the Stormblueper skids to a stop. The Meanie stops in front of a big Pepperlander who squashes him between his cymbals. A commentator watches from the sidelines.)

Commentator: Oh my GOD, this is exciting! Pepperland is on a roll, while the Meanies... (Cut to a traumatized Stormblueper on the ground in a fetal position, sucking his thumb.) Well, they’re not having much luck, there.

(Princess Pepper is confronted by a group of Meanies, one of whom has a rapier. Meanwhile, a group of Pepperlanders, led by the Lord Mayor, roll in a cannon and light the fuse. Instead of a cannonball, a cluster of music notes shoot out and blast the Meanies, sending them flying with a bowling pin sound effect.)

Lord Mayor: Wonderful!

(A crowd of Pepperlanders scatter as Shyaman drives a blue battletank onto the battlefield. He sees a discarded triangle.)

Shyaman: Ha HA! Do you really think that will stop ME? 

(He attempts to run over it, but as soon as the wheel touches the instrument, BOOM! The tank explodes, leaving him sitting in a scorched crater, singed and still holding the controls. He coughs up a smoke ring. The triangle is untouched. Aboard the submarine, Coco searches for one particular button.)

Coco: This has gotta be the amplifiers!

(She presses the button. Immediately, the sub shoots upwards, leaving Coco behind. She watches as it vanishes into the etherium.) 

Coco: (sheepishly) Maybe not.

(Back with Clef, Charles and Jeremy...)

Clef: Quick, put your book on fisticuffs to work!

Jeremy: Ah, yes! My tome on pugilism! It comes in most handy! The results, just dandy!

(Jeremy takes out a fighting handbook and runs up to a Stormblueper.)

Jeremy: Hello, Blue Meanio! If I may... Ahem! Left to the nostril, right uppercut, right to the eyebrow, left to the gut!

(He throws a punch, but ends up missing and running into an apple tree.)

Stormblueper: Nice try!

(The apple comes loose and falls, hitting the Stormblueper on the head and knocking him out. Ringo runs to Jeremy’s aid.)

 Ringo: Jeremy!

(Jeremy looks at the unconscious Meanie and smiles. He jumps to his feet.)

Jeremy: Come on, Ringo! (skips off confidently)

Blue Meanie: RUN AWAY!

Blue Meanies: RUN AWAY!/Run!/ HAAAALLLLPP!!!

(The Blue Meanies are finally forced into a retreat as the Pepperlanders cheer in victory. Cerulio tries to rally them back into battle.)

Cerulio: Get back! GET BACK! Once more unto the breach, dear Meanies! You’re advancing the wrong way! Retreat backwards, you FOOLS!!! Get back there NOW!!! I’m not losing this nation-

(He is run over by a herd of frightened Meanies. After they’ve passed, he breaks down crying.)

Cerulio: (sobs) My kingdom for a horse! (wails)

(Who should come across Cerulio but Jeremy, who stops once he sees the miserable prince. Cerulio stops once he sees Jeremy, then dons a Slasher Smile.)

Cerulio: I think I’ll tear him up into little pieces.

Jeremy: Oh, he does, doesn’t he?

Cerulio: I think I’ll make a blue burger out of him.

Jeremy: Ha-ha, I don’t care what you think!

(Just as Jeremy is about to throw another punch, he is grabbed by Cerulio, who holds him up by the tail.)

Cerulio: Oh, you don’t, eh? We’ll soon see about that!

(Vannessa, seeing this, runs over and tries to pry Jeremy free of Cerulio’s clutches.)

Vannessa: Leave him alone, you big bully!!!

(Cerulio just snarls and throws her aside before attempting to punch Jeremy. However, the boob grabs onto the Blaumiesen’s leg.)

Jeremy: He does in truth seem quite annoyed. Some reference material, be-be-before I’m destroyed!

Cerulio: ENOUGH POETRY! I’m going to blue-pencil you, FOREVER!!!

(He succeeds in pulling Jeremy off of himself, holding him by the scruff of his neck. Jeremy reads from “1001 Ways to Defeat a Meanie”.)

Jeremy: Where ground is soft most often grows... Arise! Arise! Arouse, a rose! 

(He pokes the tip of Cerulio’s nose, and in an instant, a pink rose pops up on the spot.)

Jeremy: Ah, a rosy nose??

(Cerulio, enraged, throws him to the ground.)

Cerulio: SPEAK YOUR LAST PIECE!!!

Jeremy: Piece, Peace! Supplant the doom and the gloom. (dodges Cerulio as he pounces) Turn off what is sour. Turn into a flower and bloom, bloom, BLOOM!

(So saying, Jeremy pokes the screaming Cerulio here, there, everywhere. Wherever he touches, pink roses pop up, until finally...)

Cerulio: CAAAAARRNAAAAAAATIIIOOOOOOOOONNNNS!!!

(...Cerulio is covered with flowers. He lets out a final scream upon seeing himself.)

Ringo: First time I saw that Nowhere Man… That nobody, I knew he was somebody.

John: You’re right.

Cerulio: NOT SO FAST! (holds up a detonator) Need I remind you that there are BOMBS under this land?! (The Pepperlanders look terrified.)

Vannessa: Actually, I disconnected them before I rescued Jeremy. You push that thing and nothing happens. (The Pepperlanders are relieved.)

Cerulio: ...I don’t believe you! Once I push this, we’ll all get blown TO KINGDOM COME!

(There is a dead silence. The Beatles are not really worried at all.)

Cerulio: Very well. For the honor and glory of all of WATERBLOO!

(He pushes the button on the device. Max cringes. After a few seconds, still nothing has happened. Max cracks open one eye and looks around. Cerulio looks worried.)

Cerulio: (weakly) Ka-boooooom!

(He breaks down again. The Pepperlanders cheer.)

Lord Mayor: They’re beaten! They won’t violate our land ever again!

(Suddenly, a familiar voice rings out.)

Rita: There’s been a violation here! I’m taking Old Fred to court for desertion!

Fred: Aw, Rita, I was coming back to you!

Rita: I don’t mean deserting me, Old Fred. I mean deserting that!

(She gestures to the towed Rhapsody.)

Lord Mayor: Holy crescendo! Our national monument! How can we get it back?

Rita: Pay the fine. I want Old Fred’s hand.

Lord Mayor: Right or left?

Rita: Both, in marriage.

Coco: Well, dang!

Fred: That fine’s fine with me!

(The couple turn to leave.)

Fred: Ta-ta, Lord Mayor!

Lord Mayor: Wait, Young Fred! You’ve got to conduct the victory concert! Who else could lead it?

(The Beatles come over.)

Paul: What happened to Old Fred?

Lord Mayor: I had to trade him for a yellow submarine.

Ringo: Somebody got swindled.

George: It’s back and look at Rita’s meter!

(The meter says “LOVE”.)

Lord Mayor: What a mess. Who could possibly lead the concert now?

(Cut to Clef onstage.)

Clef: Aw man, am I gonna make this introduction. Ladies and gentlemen...

(A little man dressed in brown and pink, and wearing a hat saying “OLD BOOB”, steps onstage next to him.)

Jeremy: Ad hoc, ad loc and quid pro quo...

Clef: Wh-JEREMY?

Jeremy: Yes?

Clef: You can do that, too? Why didn’t you tell me?

Jeremy: You didn’t ask!

Clef: ...Anyway! Ladies and gentlemen, playing alongside Sgt. Pepper, direct from somewhere else, where they are absolutely something else, we’d like to present our four guest soloists: our friends! Take it away, guys!

(The audience cheers, and with Jeremy conducting, two bands begin to play.)

SONG: Yellow Submarine

In the town where I was born Lived a man who sailed to sea And he told us of his life In the land of submarines So we sailed up to the sun Till we found a sea of green And we lived beneath the waves In our yellow submarine

We all live in a yellow submarine Yellow submarine, yellow submarine We all live in a yellow submarine Yellow submarine, yellow submarine

And our friends are all aboard Many more of them live next door And the band begins to play

We all live in a yellow submarine Yellow submarine, yellow submarine We all live in a yellow submarine Yellow submarine, yellow submarine

(Full speed ahead Mr. Boatswain, full speed ahead Full speed ahead it is, Sergeant. Cut the cable, drop the cable Aye, Sir, aye Captain, captain)

As we live a life of ease Every one of us has all we need Sky of blue and sea of green In our yellow submarine

We all live in a yellow submarine Yellow submarine, yellow submarine We all live in a yellow submarine Yellow submarine, yellow submarine We all live in a yellow submarine Yellow submarine, yellow submarine

[sweetmusingss]

Oscar was surprised to hear what you said about Charles, figuring most girls probably liked when a guy wanted to relate to them. To be fair, he never pretended to be something that he wasn’t and maybe that was part of why his relationship had gotten to be to the place it was in today. He still considered himself a good boyfriend though so he was confused as to why things had gotten so bad. He shook himself out of his thoughts before awkwardly smiling at you. “I will definitely keep that in mind for the future then. It’s nice to have a list of who likes to cuddle and who doesn’t,” he says, immediately kicking himself for how awkward and borderline creepy that sounded. He was thinking about how you and Lando cuddled though and there was nothing romantic between the two of you. Maybe there was a way he could get a new platonic cuddle buddy. He didn’t even think about how he was looking for loopholes and ways he could get closer to you without it seeming weird.

“I mean, we are on a boat for the next 6 days... if we end up capsizing and you want one last cuddle session, you know who to call.” I smile at him as I say the words, giggling. I cuddled with Lando and other guy friends back home many times and it never meant anything. Maybe I could spin this and somehow end up in bed with Oscar, in a strictly platonic way. “Or if you just want an excuse to get cuddled really well... I’m a great cuddler. No one has complained about my cuddling skills. I will also be big spoon, so I’m versatile and flexible. Fuck gender roles.” I say back against the chair, putting my legs up and letting the sun hit my body, having put some tanning oil on so my skin was glistening in the sun. I used to feel this intense need to cuddle with Charles, but now I could careless if Charles was here or not... all I wanted was to bury my face in Oscar’s neck and find out where he was ticklish and where his sweet spots were. I chug nearly half my iced coffee to cool myself down, not needing to be secretly drooling and fantasizing about the guy who was sitting right next to me... who had a girlfriend.

__

It was the day of the race and I had opted to wear a cute dress instead of my usual Red Bull gear because your parents were going to be around. I didn’t care so much about your father but I wanted to make a good first impression on your mother. I had a blue bow in my hair, still wearing MV1 socks with my sneakers. I ended up staying close to your mother throughout most of the race, your father giving me the cold shoulder. I hadn’t let it get to me though because he wasn’t really someone I respected either. When the race was over and you finished P5, your father went in on me though and he was yelling in my face about how your recent performances were ‘my fault’. I just stared back at him, not letting his words get to me even as he called me a tramp and a distraction. I swallow hard when you walked up and your anger was incredibly noticeable. I hadn’t even defended myself with your dad, him not being worth my time. “I am gonna go see Renee and Charles,” I say to you, kissing your cheek gently before whispering to you. “It’s okay,” I say, squeezing your hand gently, hoping it would reassure you.

Max was already in a bad mood, he hated that he was doing so terribly lately and his adrenaline and anger at himself were at an all time high since he just got off track so walking back to the paddock and seeing his dad in your face made his blood physically boil in his veins. He had never experienced anger like this before. It was taking Mad Max to an entirely different level. He barely even registered that you were speaking to him, his eyes honed in on his father who was still glaring at you. “Don’t you ever speak to her that way. You can get away with bullying me and your other wives and your other children, but if I ever hear you speaking to Katie like that again, I will not hold back, do you understand me? I don’t care that you’re my father.” Max spits at his dad, speaking in English which he knew would just piss his dad off more. Max was seething, his fists balled up by his side. He had never been physical with his father - sure, his father had hit him a few times, but he never retaliated or fought back but he felt his composure slipping right now. He would easily punch him right in the face if he poked him again.