#one of these songs inspired me to write a short story!! guess which one!!!

[fallingforfelix]

❛❛midas touch❞

큐피드의 화살은 눈이 멀 수도 있지만 항상 마음 속에 그 표시를 찾아냅니다.

cupid's arrow may be blind, but it always finds its mark in the heart.

.° ༘🎀⋆🩰₊˚ෆ

synopsis: kinktober day #1 — hair pulling (trichophilia)

pairing: roomate!felix x fem!reader

content: 18+/explicit (MDNI tyvm), viewer discretion advised, so highly suggestive it’s probably considered smut, college au, second person view, older fem reader, mature and unestablished relationships

warnings: noona kink, colour word system used, profanities and suggestive language, teasing, bruising and consensual pain, bdsm power play and loss of control, mentions of orgasms, age gap, coercion, whiny kink, dom reader and sub lix, hair tugging, begging kink if you squint, mentions of oral sex, pain kink i guess, dry humping, begging, pet names (pretty boy, angel, doll, good boy, love, sweetheart), hickeys

word count: 2.3K (2392)

note: i wanted to commit to the ‘kinktober’ trend, but…four days in and not looking very strong😓😓 i also wanted to post something for channie’s bday yesterday but that didn’t happen either :( the smut scene was supposed to be wayyyy longer but i kept on having unsystematic bursts of motivation and really needed to upload some content. i think tmrw i’ll try to write smth, maybe fake texts or a short story where the reader/felix/another member comes to terms with their kink but nothing smutty actually happens. i might even be able to sneak in a fluffy kinks drabble later tonight but that’s probably just a load of big talk. anyways i hope you guys really do enjoy this🫶

inspired by: rosy by @rosylix, slowly to me by @jilixthinker, and pretty please by @naeviskz

song reference: midas touch by kiss of life

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“lee felix!”

you had entered the dorm, only a few minutes prior to felix’s arrival. and much to your dismay, the sight of an empty cookie jar greeted you, its desolate state an affront to your cravings.

the racket of keys stirred your senses, and the squeak of his high tops along the wooden floor announced his arrival. you called out, your tone laced with disappointment.

the aussie‘s head protruded from

the around the corner. “is something wrong noona?”

your gaze narrowed. “you know exactly what’s wrong, lix. i’ve been craving those cookies all day!”

a sheepish look crept across his face. "oh, uh, about those..." he began, scratching the back of his head.

you sighed heavily. “you owe me.”

“yeah, yeah,” felix drawled as he advanced towards the couch on which you were accommodated.

as he walked over to you, his blonde locks caught your eyes. felix’s hair was styled in two braids that were gently woven from the crown of his head, cascading down either side of his head like two delicate rivers of gold. each braid was tightly woven, with subtle wisps framing his face.

he plopped down beside you, his nonchalance testing your patience. a lecture about the sanctity of shared snacks brewed on your lips, but a mischievous spark intervened. your hand darted out, tugging at one of felix’s braids in protest.

you expected defiance, not a high-pitched whine that fled his lips as he tried extracting his braid from your grasp.

you stared at him, your heart skipped a beat at the unexpected vulnerability, and it took him a moment to cognise what he just did. felix’s face flushed pink, his relatively small hand rose to cover his pink, plump lips, and he breathed in shakily.

for a moment, the dynamics shifted, and perhaps it was a hormonal surge, or some other weird psychological phenomenon, but suddenly you found yourself conquered by a newfound self-assurance.

felix’s eyes met yours, a flicker of euphoria in his gaze, ignoring the unspoken tension that had just become palpable to him too.

“well, well, well,” you smirked, your vision tracing the blush that now dusted felix’s cheeks. “that was quite the intriguing sound you just made, pretty boy. mind if i uh…hear it again?”

felix’s dark eyes clouded with guilt as he hesitated, but you tightened your grip on his braid, the motion eliciting another sharp whine from his lips.

“n-noona. please,” he spoke breathily.

“captivating,” you purred, the fingers on your spare hand tracing the contours of felix’s jawline. “i didn’t realise you could make such…arousing noises, love.”

“you’re enjoying this…aren’t you?” he asked, his voice trembling.

you chuckled, otherwise ignoring his question. “you know, i’ve never thought about this before,” you mused as you continued to hold felix’s braid. “but these braids of yours really suit you.”

felix’s breathing was now noticeably shallower, his chest rising and falling at a rapid pace. he tried to speak, but the words got caught in his throat, replaced by another whimper as you wrenched on his braid, this time even harder than the last.

“please,” he managed to say, his voice a hoarse whisper, “i can’t...i need—“

your smirk widened as you heard the desperation in felix’s voice. you could feel the heat and tension radiating off of him, and it was clearly affecting him just as much as it was affecting you.

“hearing you like this…it does something to me,” you whispered, voice low and husky, cradling his braid.

“please,” he asked again, his voice thick with need. “touch me. i n-need to aah feel you. please.”

your heart was racing now, the sound of felix’s voice and the way he was begging for your touch driving you wild. you wanted nothing more than to give him what he was asking for, but there was a part of you that wanted to tease him just a little more.

“i think i’ve discovered a secret of yours, angel,” you murmured, leaning closer to felix. his ears flushed crimson as he attempted to turn away.

slowly, you reached out to his other braid, toying with it between your fingers before giving it a light pull. felix involuntarily let out a soft whimper, his eyes widening in surprise at the sudden intensity.

your lips curled into a sly smile, relishing the effect you had on him. “it seems like i’ve got a little weak spot, don’t i?”

felix’s voice dripped with smug satisfaction. “oh, you definitely do,” his words laced with a thick, raspy undertone, which, despite your dominant position, left your head reeling.

you released one braid, your fingers drifting up to softly cup felix’s chin, guiding his gaze to meet yours. his eyes were now visibly darker, a mix of shock and arousal, as he struggled to regain composure.

“you have no idea how much it excites me to hear you making these sounds,” you whispered, your thumb tracing the lines of his parted lips. “absolutely intoxicating, lixie.”

“feels like you’re shre—shredding my sanity, noona…” felix gasped.

“oh but look at you doll,” you purred, your eyes roaming all over his flushed face. “all red and flustered, it’s adorable.”

“i am not adorable. i’m supposed to be…to be hot mm. you’re supposed to be c-cumming at my blissedth state,” big talk for someone who was still trying to gather his thoughts, felix’s mind a jumble of sensations. and with each passing second, your words and touches were making him more and more unravelled.

“hot? you’re incandescent, felix, burning me up with every whimper. but let's see who breaks first—your control or my restraint,” you replied.

“i don't know how m-much longerrr i can...ah, fuck,” another drag at felix’s braid, securing a lewd groan from him.

“i could get addicted to these little noises you make,” you continue, your fingers now delicately outlining his jawline. “i’d make you whimper and whine and beg for more.”

“y-you’re already making me. you’re, you’re playing dirty…stop gloating mm,” he spoke, trembling.

“dirty? you have no idea how filthy i can be. and i'm just getting started. unless you want me to stop? or do you want me to push you further?” you grinned like a crescent moon, knowing felix’s resolve was crumbling with each passing moment.

“you’re insane... but i think i’m cra-zier for ngh wanting more,” felix slurred.

your breath hot against his ear, you whispered. “just imagine how you sound when i do…this.”

with a single, swift movement, you tugged harshly on both braids, pulling his back to expose his neck. felix let out a guttural moan, his eyes fluttering shut as the sensations coursed through him.

“oh, god…” felix whined, his body arching, yielding to your touch.

you took your chance. holding your breath, you leaned towards felix’s exposed neck, and you latched your lips onto the upper edge of his collarbone. gently at first, although the sudden contact seemed to have already aroused him judging by the way his body jerked at your touch.

a stifled gasp slipped from between felix’s lips as your tongue darted across his skin, making his adam’s apple bob as he swallowed heavily, fighting the urge to make any more sounds.

“aw don’t get all shy now pretty boy. let noona hear those angelical noises,” you teased, detaching yourself from his skin with a slight drag of teeth.

you licked a strip across the sensitive skin of where you just kissed him. felix did not hesitate this time, eluding a low groan which contrasted from his whines.

you began to suck at a new spot on his neck, closer to where his adam’s apple was, his braids still tightly in your grasp. you could feel the way his pulse was thrumming though his veins under your lips. felix’s hands, which had been laying uselessly at his side, jerked up to grip at your waist as an act of steadying himself.

his grip on your waist was hard, his fingers practically digging into your skin as he struggled to keep himself from trembling. felix’s breathing hitched in his throat as you continued to lavish his sensitive spot with attention, your tongue leaving a wet path in its wake. 

your hand progressed upwards, solidifying itself at the base of felix’s hair, holding as tight as ever. he let out sobs in pain and pleasure.

he started to feel light-headed, tipsy, overwhelmed by the feeling of heat rushing through him, spreading lower throughout his body. felix’s usually rational mind was fogged by the sensation of your hand in his hair, and your mouth on his throat.

he was losing control, and he knew that he couldn't take much more of this.

and neither could you.

you could feel the heat pooling in your stomach, your own desire growing stronger by the second. you couldn’t resist him any longer. the way felix was unraveling under your touch, the sight of him desperate and needy, was too much to handle. you wanted him, you needed him just as badly.

you gave felix a particularly hard suck, pulling his skin in through your teeth. the whine that followed ripped at your core and you almost combusted on the spot. that had to have been the highest moan you had heard from him, from anyone at that. 

you lift your head up, gazing at the boy below you who was losing all coherent thought.

“colour, pretty boy?” you inquired, your lips throbbing from all the sucking.

“green…d-don’t stop. don’t ahh- fucking stop, noona-yah,” he panted, words illiterate.

your spare hand came up to rest upon felix’s right shoulder, rubbing smooth, consoling circles around the area.

you swooped your head again, your warm breath dancing across the skin of his neck for mere seconds before you latched yourself onto his neck, now directly on top of his adams’s apple.

“ooh…ooh f-fuck noona! ye-yes! mm, harder…” the noises he was making were blood curdling, toe curling even.

you swear you just cummed. you gushed with slick, your own body quivering now. the temptation to let go of felix and please yourself seemed like a losing battle.

instead, you relaxed your full weight upon felix’s lap, rocking your hips onto his erection, and oh boy, he was rock hard.

he exhaled another huff, followed by a string of curses and other incoherent words. you lost suction of the hickey you were forming, smiling lowly into his skin. as if it wasn’t already obvious that you had him right where you wanted him, and still pushing him over the edge.

you attacked his adam’s apple for the second time, opening your mouth wider to tease a larger area of his skin. his hips subconsciously bucked upwards into you, earning a sigh on your end. your warm breath on the newly-formed hickey sent felix into complete overdrive.

his hands slipped past the upper edge of your sweatpants, expertly finding the waistband of your panties, pulling the lace into view and rising it up level to your hip line. you winced in pain as felix began fingering your lingerie, occasionally bumping the side of your hip, where he had left bruises from his tight grip earlier on.

the hand that was on felix’s shoulder jerked up to his braids once more. you ran your fingers through the plaits, unravelling them like you unravelled their owner, leaving waves in his milky blonde tousles.

you kissed the spot where you were marking your possession, moving your placement to the underside of his defined jaw, teeth gnashing at his freckled skin. his laboured breathing echoed through the room, a symphony of surrender.

“s’good…oh you’re so g-good noona. what have i…been m-missing out onn?” felix spluttered.

you just yanked his hair in response, his braids now completely unthreaded. every word and every sound he expressed ignited your nerves, set your heart alight. your oxygen was depleting steadily, but you weren’t going to stop and take a breathe. you were going to suck felix’s skin to the death and die a happy woman.

but as that thought was revolving around your brain like an eagle circling it’s prey, felix came to an abrupt halt, releasing your lingerie and letting it hit your skin like rubber ricochetting. he mustered the strength to grip your shoulders, before gently prising you off him. a look of concern came over you, worry concealing the lust in your eyes.

“felix, sweetheart, i’m so sorry…are you hurt? what did i do?“ you voiced, exasperated.

“noo i’m all good…y-you’re all good, noona-yah. oh you’re fucking, fucking phenommmenal, god. i just…i need a favour,” felix tripped over his words.

“of course. anything, felix, you’ve been such a good boy. just tell me what you need. let me take care of you,” you replied.

your expression was filled with concern, worry, and just a hint of lust as your eyes travelled over his body, taking in his red face, messy hair, and heaving chest.

felix’s heart slammed into his rib cage, as his eyes locked with yours. he took a deep breath, feeling the air catch in his throat as he tried to speak.

“n-noona,” he murmured, his cheeks flushed an even darker shade of red. “i need you to…can you let me…?”

your heart skipped as you heard the hitch in his voice, they way it trembled with need and desire. you knew what he wanted, you had made him fall apart under your touch just a moment ago, but you had to hear him say it.

you leaned closer, moving your body against his, letting your breath brush against his ear as you encouraged him.

“tell me, pretty. tell me what you need.”

a full body shiver ran through felix as your breath ghosted over his skin, sending a wave of heat straight to his core. he closed his eyes, drowning in the sensation of your body so close to his, the weight of your words in his ears.

he swallowed hard, his voice quiet and husky again as he finally spoke.

“…can you hold my hair back…whilst i ea-eat you out? please?”

oh. well, you thought that he was going to ask you to suck hickeys onto him further down, on his chest maybe. or he might’ve asked for you to kiss him.

but when your pretty roommate offers to give you head, are you really one to decline it?

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part 2??

©fallingforfelix, 2024 tag if inspired

[diodellet]

try wishing for it: magical girl au ~author's note~

warning for: Puella Magi Madoka Magica spoilers and more yandere headcanoning

Read the fanfic first before you spoil yourself on my rambling 😇

I did not expect to be able to transition from draft to posting that quickly for a fic of this length (or maybe it just felt faster because the stars aligned for my motivation and brainworms to work together? who knows)

Will I ever continue this AU? Maybe if I get clubbed in the head by more Scarabia brainworms, I might write oneshots/short scenes, but I don’t see myself writing for any of the other twst charas.

Anyways onto the ramblings galore:

Inspirations:

The verse that the fic’s title is ripped from goes: “Saying, ‘it’s like magic!’ / immersed in this sensation, even if I try wishing for it, / I know it’s nothing but playing with dolls //” (tl credits to Releska).

Tbh, analyzing poetry/song lyrics isn’t my biggest strength, but I know that Mahou Shoujo, as a genre, tends to touch on themes of adolescence like innocence vs. jadedness in the face of the real world and its many issues, just stepping into and growing out of adolescence as one of those uncomfortable transitions in life.

Stepping into young adulthood is scary, and most people my age don’t even know what the hell they’re doing. So for Reader, I gave them that highschooler-trying-to-be-capable-and-mature persona, with a tinge of anxieties that a young person would have.

*I’ll elaborate more on the Puella Magi inspirations in a later section, but yes, that was also a major inspiration for this fic

Vagueness:

Compared to my usual long-winded writing style, this fic ended up a bit more short and ambiugous in its prose. Partially because I didn’t want to procrastinate on writing this by rewatching my favorite Mahou Shoujo franchises.

(but also mainly because partial aphantasia lets gooo, detailed visuals are not my strong suit, I’m leaving Reader’s outfit and weapon blank for people to insert anything they’d like)

I mainly wanted to emphasize the character moments between Reader and Kyubey!Scarabia, which ended up becoming more conflicting and interesting than I initially drafted.

(It helps that Jamil is a shady guy, he set up the foreshadowing on his own. Kalim on the other hand, my god, maybe it's just me but I had a harder time characterizing. Why is he so loud and friendly, it makes his manipulation so much more covert grr)

Gold (and Red, I guess):

I lied, there was one visual aspect I wanted to highlight throughout the story, which were Scarabia’s trademark colors of gold and red. Anything gold mentioned in the fic is traced back to them. So every moment of Kalim and Jamil using magic, Reader’s magic, the bangle that Jamil gifts them, the wraith in the beginning having a (formerly) gold collar. (I would've added a description of something gold on each wraith, but I didn't want to be too heavy-handed with the repetition.)

(yes i had thoughts of jamil just giving them a golden collar…but ooo…held off on that instead, it could be a standalone what-if scenario…a corruption arc premise…ooo…someone remind me about this, i might forget)

I also mention jamil++the color red in this fic because I had to put Snake Whisper in, I can’t not 🙈

(that bit of kalim’s healing magic was me trying to make a reference to Oasis Maker, it feels a bit scuffed to me, but i don't think he’d ever get the urge to drown the world. truly sunshine boy's such a covert yandere it almost made me tear my hair out)

Kyubey!Scarabia, Some Difficulties and Omissions:

In Puella Magi, the little satanspawn named Kyubey is actually short for “Incubator,” who hails from an alien civilization tasked with preventing the heat death of the universe. Turns out the emotions of teenage girls is a very potent energy source. So he turns girls into magical girls to fight Witches and when those magical girls succumb to despair, they become the very thing that they fight against, producing vast amounts of energy for them to use.

(Though I changed it from ‘Witches’ to ‘Wraiths’ for this fanfic. I also did away with the Witches’ Labyrinth to lessen the amount of exposition. I jus think Witches work better in a visual medium.)

Another standout characteristic of Kyubey is his eerie sense of apathy to the characters’ suffering, which was Difficult to incorporate into Kalim since that guy’s got buckets of empathy. Until I realized that i could spin this into a kind of “warped” love.

Kalim loved each and every magical girl that he’s worked with, and of course he gets sad that they eventually become a wraith. But as an Incubator, his grieving is more akin to a rich person feeling sad over the death of a pet. He’s very quick to turn his attention to the next shiny thing (that’s you/Reader! Ain’t that great!🥴)

Also @jessamine-rose gave me this hc of Kalim amassing little trinkets from every magical fighter, like a ribbon accessory or a piece of their wand, collecting these little charms. Just, the idea of him saying that he’ll cherish Reader’s own treasure, and the way that could go from reassuring to chilling. (now i’m spreading that hc to yall instead of pingponging it in my brain😇)

On the idea of Jamil and love, I think he just loves holding power over magical girls #MegalomaniacThingz (ignore that growing fondness in the fever scene, he was just playing the part of helpful familiar or sumn /shrug)

There's definitely room for some kind of intense fascination to reader, knowing that they surprised him with their resilience. Yeah sorta like Tokyo Mew Mew's Ichigo and Quiche...

(i was crying so hard at having to axe forehead kissies for the second time, but it was a necessary omission😔)

Misc. Extras:

As a palate cleanser, just imagine plush ball!jamil carrying a plastic bag twice his size… (i was struggling with the dialogue during that fever scene, this was how i kept myself from spiraling too far)

In line with the genie of the lamp story, Kyubey!Scarabia gets the three wishes for their magical girls, with the third wish eventually corrupting the magical girl into a wraith.

I guess the other dorms would have something unique for the magical girls that they create? (not having wi-fi for the past few days gave me some half-baked ideas)

Like Heartslabyul imposing a rigid set of rules on their magical girls, which are of course rigged against the inherently flawed nature of humans and their emotions.

Savanaclaw and Pomefiore are similar, you fight until you can’t. Or in Pome’s case, you fight until you become an unrecognizable monster.

I imagine that Octavinelle and Ignihyde are the most similar to the original Kyubey of Puella Magi. You make a wish, fight the wraiths, reap the consequences of a wish, and eventually succumb to the vicious system they have laid out. Only Octavinelle’s version is Sayaka Miki-core, while Ignihyde’s plays out like a video game-ified version of Hercules’ trials. (Also, Ignihyde deffo keeps a compendium of each magical girl and wraith).

For Diasomnia, it could kinda follow Sleeping Beauty's plot, where there's a curse that the magical girl has to work against, while being aided with blessings from the fairies/Malleus' retinue (tho in this case, i guess Malleus ends up being revealed as the one creating the wraiths?)

tl;dr: This fic was so fun to write, I can almost forgive the usual agonies that plague me. I'm a writer who heavily prefers soft worldbuilding. Scarabia makes me so ill.

tagging: @viperwhispered @twstgo

[my-favourite-zhent]

Writer Interview

Tagged by the lovelies @commander-krios here and @coreene here

Tagging: @dustdeepsea @thisaccountisagainstmywill @fistfuloftarenths

@littleplasticrat @captainsigge @grossestjay

Questions under the cut!

When did you start writing?

I suppose depends what counts? Where I went to school we did creative writing as early as six. The first stories I remember were Halloween stories I wrote with very unhappy endings.

Writing purely for myself maybe not till high school? I dabbled in a little fanfiction and then didn't touch it again for years and years and then suddenly BG3 and Rugan happened, smdh.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

Just like Krios I enjoy horror novels, although I actually prefer horror as short stories/novellas. If you look at my spotify history you will see a lot of NoSleep podcast and Knifepoint Horror so its definitely a running theme. I could never write horror though, would spook myself too much. I did rather like the tiny horror story in one of the books in Baldurs Gate.

I also enjoy reading low fantasy (low magic, more grit, considerably plucky, ensemble casts) which I think comes across in New Tricks, but in contrast the stories I read have very minimal if any romance.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

Nope, as much as there are many writers I enjoy and at times think "I wish I were that talented" I also don't wish to be a perfect copy of anyone's style because what's the point of that?

I suppose if it was something more like "as funny as so and so" or "world-building on level of such and such" then probably Pratchett, Rothfuss, Sapowski or Glen Cook?

I will literally write anywhere, a lot of my ideas pop-up while daydreaming and I have to get them down when they happen or I won't remember clearly later. So at my desk, in bed, on the couch, on the train, standing in the shoppe, literally anywhere.

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Consuming other media. Books, TV, movies, podcasts, etc. Seeing a scene or circumstance and imagining how the characters I write would react under similar circumstances.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

Hmm hadn't considered it before but I guess so far: grey morality, class differences (this likely due to my muse being Rugan) and overcoming betrayal? I suppose the last one surprises me a little, I think I might just like the angst of it.

What is your reason for writing?

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

I mentioned earlier I haven't touched personal creative writing since high school, although I did consume fanfiction on occasion. I originally returned due to a frustration at the lack of Rugan content. I wanted to consume, but at the time there wasn't much, compounded by the fact that I did not have an AO3 account at the time so of the few that existed I could only see half. So I started by writing how I thought getting that drink at the Elf Song might go.

After that I got a bit attached to the OC and was inspired by the works of @dustdeepsea to write something with a little more emotional depth. I was prone to daydreaming these sorts of things before but I never put pen to paper till now.

I'm happy any time someone enjoys my work, but I suppose the best comments are when the reader notices the characterization I've been trying to get across. It makes me feel validated that I'm able to write certain qualities without (hopefully) being too on the nose with it.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

Me or my writing? Myself, hopefully reasonable and open-minded. My writing, I hope they find it funny and exciting in turns, I hope it makes people feel some sort of emotion even if negative rather than being boring. I hope the world I've tried to piece together from bits of Forgotten Realms lore feels consistent and cohesive, that the rules and stakes make sense.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Similar to Krios I think my dialogue comes across the best of all my writing, and it certainly feels the easiest to get down.

How do you feel about your own writing?

It seems to change by day and chapter. There are some things that when I write I'm quite pleased, and then come back a month later and am quite embarrassed by. Other things I didn't like originally but actually enjoy quite a bit on reread. I find myself having to just post things I'm unhappy with at times otherwise I won't get on with the story. I jokingly tell myself "we'll fix it in post!" and I have slowly begun some edits of early chapters so it's not a complete lie.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

It's mostly what I think the story needs at the time. There are times where I feel "augh we've been on this mood/theme for too long, the reader will get bored" but I try to reframe it to myself as "is the pacing good? is this scene necessary right now?" and that helps me make a decision that is hopefully a bit more objective. Sometimes we need that information for later, sometimes we don't. I have been known to go back and adjust a thing here or there if the current chapter is missing a bit of set-up and will continue to do so until the story is over. I'm treating it all as a work in progress.

Thanks for reading this far!

[andithiel]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💙

Aaaah omg thank you for this ask my dear friend �� I loved your list (found here). I did this 1,5 years ago (that list can be found here) and I didn’t want to repeat myself so I’m going to go with stuff that I’ve written since (as if that would make it easier) *cries in ambivalence*

Sweet Desire (Scorbus, just short of 6k, rated E, first person POV) I wrote this for last year's next gen fest. I was in a major writing slump and couldn't find any inspiration until I found the prompt "first time oral sex" and for some reason that inspired me. I had so much fun trying to convey that giddy teenage trying new things together in a trusting relationship, and I hope I pulled it off. Scorbus is pretty tricky for me to write but I really enjoyed spending time with these two lovebirds.

Sinking/Floating (Drarry, 963 words, rated T, second person POV) This was also something that made something click in me when I saw the lovely imovie of @bluebutter-art 's amazing fanart So rest your weary heart with me. I wanted to convey the same feeling I got when looking at Blue's art, and it took me a while to get there but I'm still very proud of how it came out.

Take that ride (Drarry, 1,6k, rated T) Inspired by Dance to this with Troye Sivan and Ariana Grande. I tried to capture the feeling of the song and include some of the elements in it, and tried to focus on the sensory despcriptions (which is something I tend to forget when writing), and I think it's one of the things I'm most proud of.

Let me show you (Drarry, 556 words, it's only on tumblr but I guess I'd rate it T) Sometimes inspiration just hits. You go about your daily chores and thinks about the fuck or die trope and then BAM! You need to write a 500 word drabble about mutual pining and Draco heroically chasing down Harry to offer his services.

microfic for the prompt "Truth or dare" for last year's flufftober I'm just super happy and proud that I managed to get this amount of story into 50 words, go me!

[eshokk]

the great impersonator by halsey (2024)

my favourite tracks from the album and a bit of why!

EGO: hands down, adore this single, it's just so up my alley in terms of sound and is perfectly late 90s angst teen pop rock-punk. lyrics are classic for the genre and halsey. just love it, fun, good song.

DOG YEARS: woahhh. wonderfully angry and such a tightly done song. love the inspiration of PJ harvey here. the "i'm on a real short leash, but i like it tight" is such an interesting image. the grunge sound, it's deepness is fucking great. i love that halsey is almost always successful in creating ATMOSPHERE, TONE. she nailed it.

HOMETOWN: charming song, coming of age, it's so americana, and i really respect it. it's not the best song, but you know i like the country storytelling approach halsey took to it. i like it's loose attachment to dolly parton, but i think this is a clear halsey production and a wonderful example of her ability to be a chameleon and don any genre.

LONELY IS THE MUSE: oh my god this is easily my favourite single, and maybe my favourite song off the record, absolutely floored by the talent halsey comes at this with. she suits this so much, which is what made her previous album so absolutely amazing to me. this hard-rock sound is just fucking amazing. her homage to amy lee made me absolutely giddy evanescence was a pretty formative band for me growing up. halsey just full whails about her mistreatment, her second-guessing and doubts and her utter strength to do so is what makes this track so fucking admirable.

ARSONIST: oh this song is sexyyyy sounding. i like the fiona apple attachment here, but honestly this reminds me more of halsey's older stuff from badlands?! a cool, dark mid-tempo pop-ish song, really cool, big stand out for me, definitely my top 3 tracks off the record. just COOL!

HURT FEELINGS: okay now THIS is the badlands she's truly referencing. cool pop sound! like i haven't heard this kind of sound in a while. true mix of minimalist 2017 pop and maximalism of 2024, halsey understands the strides of music and holds it with her head held high, i think. nothing particularly special about the writing here i think, halsey really loves her metaphors in this record and for the most part, it works. change is weird. she gets that here.

THE GREAT IMPERSONATOR: oh how WHIMSICAL sounding?! björk was such an interesting choice! i quite like this sound for halsey! it's not my favourite, but i really love this kind of music, this odd, theatrical-cartoonish sound. it's charming. halsey retains her usual boldness and maximalism with some really cool layering and refrains throughout the song. the harp, the "ahH!", the questioning of, "does this story die with it's narrator" is such a beautiful contemplation of facing mortality as an artist. i think this could've worked as the opening track to be honest. i really like this closing track, it works.

overall, my favourite tracks as of 26 oct. 2024

ego

dog years

hometown

lonely is the muse

arsonist

hurt feelings

the great impersonator

the rest i don't think are bad, maybe one or two that don't stick the landing for me, they'll need some time to grow on me. as a whole, this project is what i think to be the most innovative record to come out of the mainstream pop scene this year in the face of the tortured poets department and cowboy carter, the great impersonator holds a certain kind of pain behind it like no other, masked with sleek production and outstanding marketing.

a great LP, really loved it!

[dearunreliablenarrator]

Writeblr Interview Tag

thank you, thank you to @sableglass for the tag, you can catch their original post here!

Short stories, novels, or poems?

Novels! Sometimes, I think the ideas i have are too large to stay as short stories or that i couldn't capture what's needed for poems.

What genre do you prefer reading?

I've found myself dabbling a bit more into psycho thrillers now a days, otherwise the toes are buried in sci-fi, romance and the occasional philosophy book.

Are you a planner or a write as I go kind of person?

Girls/Guys/Theys', I couldn't plan a thing and stick to it if my life depended on it. I try to do both, just for consistency sake, but I often go off line anyways, but the most important scenes are always written first.

It does make editing a bitch though.

What music do you listen to while writing?

I honestly write in silence (scary i know). Otherwise, Kitchen Nightmares or Hell's Kitchen reruns are on in the back. And unless, I've already curated a playlist for what's being written, there's nothing in these ears but air.

I guess the easy answer is it depends!

Favorite books/movies?

The Menu (2022)/Bottoms (2023)/EEAAO (2022)

Song of Achilles/ A Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires/ Act Your Age, Eve Brown.

Any current WIPs?

Cherries Under the Sun! A new branch of writing for me, I always kinda felt like I had to stick to romance and burnt myself out. So here, we have a exploration of relationships with God and life (in both destructive and favorable manners) and the horrors of which one would go to achieve what they believe to be a righteous way of living.

I don't know...religion makes people do some weird shit in the name of their god and that something I want to explore. Did I mention there are vampires?!

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you what would your standard outfit be?

wide legged pants or leggings, oversized t-shirt and pair of crocs. although, a lot of the time; i'm winnie the poohin' it.

Create a character description of yourself: 

a fluorescent beige girl with copper sister locs, tortie glasses and a slew of patchwork tattoos with facial piercings. of average height, and my clothes probably have a layer of cat hair on them. i'm probably lifting weights or somethings.

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?

Lol yes, but half of the time its not even on purpose. kid you not, in the first chapter of Where the River Bends, i've actually had a man say that to me; and that was after I wrote it. (might be a soothsayer yall) Quite the experience!

Are you kill happy with your characters?

I have yet to kill anyone, but its in the plans. ugh, its gonna be an old lady. i'm sorry in advance; but yall might not even like her so *shrugs*

Coffee or Tea while writing?

don't shoot me! but i think dr.pepper is the ultimate answer. someone should make a dr.pepper tea. 

it might be too country of me to ask for it to be cold with lots of crushed ice.

Slow or fast writer?

I'd say i have my spurts of fast writing, but i think the slower i write; the more I get out.

Where/who/what do you draw inspiration from?

Real life, i think is the most agreeable answer at the moment. I like people watching or taking my own life experience and stories I've heard over the years and not replicating them but retelling them from my lense on life; which is very...dramatic and mystical to say the least.

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?

Oh, theres so many options for this...but a cook/pub/tavern owner would be the first thing. I love feeding people and making sure they have a place to get warm food, and it'd be pretty cheap too! Or, house staff to some hoity-toity family, maybe get their son or daughter to fall in love with me so I can get some inheritance...but daddy, i love them kind moment

Most fav book cliche:

nerdy girl gets the jock

Least favorite cliche:

misunderstandings/miscommunication; oh god shoot me now! or the "she's hotter without her glasses" move (9x/10 the glasses are what makes them hot!)

Favorite scene to write?

Lore dumping scenes! They may be long and a little tedious to get through but they give so much insight into the smaller behaviors that characters have.

why does character A pick their nose comfortably in public? cause once upon a time; their grammy said it was okay and it's better than having it hang in there all day with people noticing!

I think my favorite so far though, is Warren and Sabryna's talk after a disastrous dinner. It was something in that moment, that they both really needed. Tough conversations equals great rewards in this case.

Reason for writing?

Cause I can! I mean; I'd really come to hate myself if i didn't let these ideas meet the paper or the keyboard in this matter. I think its very freeing to create something of your own, just getting past what others may think is the hard part.

and yall i cant draw for shit besides doodles so i guess writing is it for me.

no pressure tags below! sorry if you were double tagged! @rumeysawrites @inadequatecowboy @lady-grace-pens @tito-sober @shepardsherd @dyrewrites @goldfinchwrites @caninecomplex

[jules-has-notes]

Panic! in Four Minutes — VoicePlay music videos

All singers are performers, but VoicePlay have definitely earned their moniker as the theater kids of the a cappella world. When they decided to create a medley of PatD songs, they wanted their own accompanying videos to have a bit of the same short-film aesthetic as the band's original videos. What ensued was a mid-summer location shoot, a kidnapping scenario straight out of a heist film, and even a dramatic cliffhanger.

Details:

title: Panic! in Four Minutes, part 1

original songs / performers: all songs by Panic! At the Disco — "Victorious"; "I Write Sins Not Tragedies"; "Emperor's New Clothes"; "Miss Jackson", feat. Lolo; "The Ballad of Mona Lisa"

written by: all songs by Brendon Urie in collaboration — "Victorious" with Mike Viola, Morgan "White Sea" Kibby, Jake Sinclair, Alexander DeLeon, Rivers Cuomo, & CJ Baran; "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" with Ryan Ross & Spencer Smith; "Emperor's New Clothes" with Jake Sinclair, Lauren "Lolo" Pritchard, Sam Hollander, & Dan Wilson; "Miss Jackson" with Dallon Weekes, Lauren "Lolo" Pritchard, Jake Sinclair, Amir Jerome Salem, & Alex Goose; "The Ballad of Mona Lisa" with Spencer Smith, Butch Walker, & John Feldmann

arranged by: Layne Stein & Earl Elkins, Jr.

release date: 13 July 2018

My favorite bits:

the rhythm section's crisp beginning

that incredible chord from the end of the "Victorious" intro section doubling as a frightened scream

Earl's focused tone on that falling chromatic line

everyone slumping in their seats during the first transition

Eli's defiant rock grit on "Emperor's New Clothes"

slipping that key change into ♫ "anywa-ay-ay" ♫

adding chair and chain sounds to Layne's already impressive percussion (and using the latter as a radio edit)

J.None's lovely falling run on ♫ "rationality" ♫

such beautiful harmonies on "Ballad of Mona Lisa"

Geoff's subharmonic drop on ♫ "believe" ♫

.

Details:

title: Panic! in Four Minutes, part 2

original songs / performers: all songs by Panic! At the Disco — "This Is Gospel"; "High Hopes"; "Say Amen (Saturday Night)"

written by: all songs by Brendon Urie in collaboration — "This Is Gospel" with Dallon Weekes & Jake Sinclair; "High Hopes" with Jake Sinclair, Jenny Owen Youngs, Lauren "Lolo" Pritchard, Sam Hollander, William Lobban-Bean, Jonas Jeberg, Taylor Parks, & Ilsey Juber; "Say Amen (Saturday Night)" with Jake Sinclair, Sam Hollander, Lauren "Lolo" Pritchard, Imad Royal, Nathan Abshire, Suzy Shinn, Tom Peyton, Tobias Wincorn, & The Budos Band

arranged by: Layne Stein & Earl Elkins, Jr.

release date: 20 July 2018

My favorite bits:

the panicked (ha!) heartbeat sounds

Layne's gentle timbre on the opening of "This Is Gospel"

everyone jerking against their chains as Earl belts out ♫ "let me GOOO" ♫

the soft bell chords under Eli's lead section

Geoff rounding out the low end as Eli sings ♫ "all tied up" ♫

Layne putting his increasing frustration into the percussion through rhythmic breathing

Earl mouthing "What the fu–?!" when Geoff haphazardly tosses the key so far out of his reach

that blazingly high ♫ "SaturDAAAAY" ♫ from J.None

all the others cringing away from the bomb as much as they can when the timer nears the end and Geoff takes a wild guess at which wire to cut

finishing on pure octaves for that last ♫ "vic-tor-i-ous" ♫

Trivia:

These videos were filmed at an abandoned sawmill previously owned by the Wilson Cypress Co. in Palatka, FL. According to the guys' various anecdotes, the place didn't smell great, and there were some wasps flying around. The things they endure for their art.

The original PaTD videos for three of the songs included in this medley — "Say Amen", "This Is Gospel", and "Emperor's New Clothes" — contain a continuous story known as the Devil's Key trilogy. It stands to reason that the key around Geoff's neck is a reference to that.

One eagle-eyed viewer spotted another bit of PatD inspiration in the visuals for these videos.

J.None has said that the B5 wail in "Say Amen (Saturday Night)" is the highest note he's ever hit. Considering that he's a natural baritone, and now sings bass with the SeaChanters, that's darn impressive.

Similarly, Geoff's E1 at the end of "Ballad of Mona Lisa" was his lowest recorded note at the time. (He has, of course, surpassed that by half an octave in the years since then.)

Makeup artist Dana Bracewell from Makeup and Creative Arts provided the fake dirt and injuries. (No singers were actually harmed in the making of this video.)

The cover art was designed by VP's longtime friend and collaborator Rek Dunn.

The guys demonstrated the opening tape pull for production assistants Rek and Hayley in the trailer where they got gussied up. Hayley ended up doing it in the video.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by VoicePlay (@thevoiceplay)

The Facebook upload of "Part 1" racked up two million views in a day and a half, six million in less than a week, 10 million before the end of the month, and 15 million in just over three weeks. After six years, it's sitting just under 30 million.

It also nudged them over 600,000 followers on Facebook.

A fan brought the first video to Brendon Urie's attention on Twitter, and he passed it along to his fans, which certainly didn't hurt.

A few fan artists were inspired to capture the guys' predicament, and speculate about the aftermath.

art by amedamatoame (師旋)

art by Clara Meath & Leon King

VoicePlay's video for "Billie Eilish in 3 Minutes", released a little over a year later, is a prequel to this story, showing how they ended up in so much danger.

Some fans have embraced a headcanon that the video for "Queen in 5 Minutes" is the next episode in this story, and that Earl ends up in the hospital because Geoff cut the wrong wire and failed to stop the explosion.

The unified video was originally only available to Patreon patrons, but it was uploaded to VoicePlay's TikTok account after five years.

During a break in filming, Eli's shared a story about a mishap that occured while he was playing Fortnite.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by VoicePlay (@thevoiceplay)

They also used their break time to practice a little stunt work.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by VoicePlay (@thevoiceplay)

They even created a suitably dramatic trailer for this two-parter.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by VoicePlay (@thevoiceplay)

A single-track audio version was later included on VoicePlay's "Citrus" album, which compiled most of the songs they recorded from 2017-19. Because the individual songs had already been made available digitally, that album is exclusively a physical item that can only be purchased at live shows or through their website.

[jozor-johai]

Do you have any TWOW predictions for sansa's arc?

Thank you for this question! I didn't really before you asked because it's always seemed so complicated to try to unravel. This ask inspired me, though, so I've spent the last two nights trying to work out my thoughts.

i will invoke the old adage here: it took me so long to answer this because I wanted to write you a shorter response. ...Believe it or not this is the short version, I could have written you a longer one. If there's interest, I might post my complete thoughts later.

To start, I think that Harry the Heir will die inconveniently early to punish Petyr in the narrative for committing too hard to killing Sweetrobin.

I do think Sansa will play a major role in taking down Petyr, but it really has to be his own dominos that she simply manages to push over. The Ghost of High Heart prophecy foretells her slaying a giant in a castle of snow, and I think that might be both LF in the Vale and Tyrion in Winterfell. Somehow (we'll get to that).

I even wonder whether Sansa is already plotting LF's downfall. I love this post that points out how Sansa outsmarted Tyrion by playing her "role" so well, and it makes me second-guess how much of "Alayne" is truly her abused self-image and how much is her fully playing the role for Petyr's benefit. There's a passage in the Alayne TWOW chapter where she wonders if Lyn is really Baelish's man, and I wonder: is it Alayne wondering that out of concern, or is it Sansa identifying a potential future ally to nudge along? Is she perhaps already nudging him against LF in that chapter?

Ultimately, Sansa's story is all about stories and songs, which is one of the major ideas in ASOIAF; the fact that her journey is constantly juxtaposed against that central theme makes hers one of the essential journeys of the story. My interpretation is that her first trials were where she believed she belonged in a different type of fantasy story, and now she's discovered that she's been a part of someone else's fairy tale—Petyr's—for longer than she realized.

I don't believe that Sansa's ultimate lesson will be that life is not a song, I think Petyr is both hypocritical and wrong in saying so. I think that her lesson is to learn that life can be a song when she sings it for herself, rather than playing the "pretty talking bird" singing the songs she expected to be in, or that she expects others want to hear.

To that end, I think she has to be pulled away from Petyr for her final trial. I think Shadrich is going to successfully steal Sansa away before any of Petyr's larger plans go into effect, so that we only get to see the groundwork being laid from Sansa's POV and then we have to hear about it all coming to fruition from afar. I tend towards the idea that Shadrich is more of a vehicle for Sansa's story than major player, though, so I'm hoping that she gets some actual agency once he takes her out of the Vale.

My no.1 hope for Sansa in TWOW is for her to find a way to achieve actual agency, and I can't see her managing effectively under Petyr. I don't think she's had her "Meeting with the Goddess" moment yet, I tend to think she'll have that moment on the road somehow.

I don't think it's for nothing that Shadrich's professed goal is doomed, because Varys is no longer around to pay the ransom. I also think KL itself is doomed and will be embroiled in war and/or plague when they arrive (if they even make it that far), so I think it's possible we get a brief moment that mirrors the Hound's and Arya's loss of purpose after the RW. KL will be empty of reward for Shadrich, and for Sansa it will be lost in this moment of bittersweet catharsis that represents both the loss of her original dreams and of her prison. The two are also one, in a way, considering that she was trapping herself from the start with her desire to force her life into a song rather than find the songs within life. This is potentially when the "Meeting with the Goddess" moment happens, although I don't know with who.

I think that it would be narratively satisfying for Sansa to then return (of her own accord, maybe? somehow) and confront Petyr as her faux-father-villain in an antagonistic twist on the "Atonement with the Father" moment where she realizes that Petyr's been the cause of so many of her problems, and the problems of her real parents, both lost now. Maybe Sweetrobin plays a role in this because his Weirwood throne should symbolically connect Sansa to the Old Gods again, and her spiritual return to her roots. Hopefully she sees how Petyr has been living in a fantasy world and putting her there too.

I think perhaps Lyn Corbray plays a big role in this, which is why Sansa noticed his uncertain loyalties. Certainly, the remaining Lords Declarant will be on her side, because Petyr's setting up a plotline where he extorts inflated prices for grain, so Sansa's role in deposing him will earn her the love of the Vale. "she had always heard that love was a surer route to the people's loyalty than fear. If I am ever a queen, I'll make them love me."

Her Apotheosis, I think, will be finally getting agency and freedom from Littlefinger, and her Ultimate Boon might be Winterfell/The Vale itself, somehow, as hers rather than as Littlefinger's. More spiritually I think her Ultimate Boon will be her idealism and hope—which she has always had—separated from the constraints of preconceived songs but never lost. This mirrors how her internal world has separated so vastly from her external world playing "roles" for the people around her. I think her unyielding ideals, though, that those songs represented, will be an invaluable trait in the oncoming doom awaiting Westeros.

Finally... Sansa has never forgotten that she's still married, though, and neither should we—and I think the final irony in TWOW will be the return of her husband, Tyrion, who will come back to Westeros with the means to make good on his promise "to reduce the Vale of Arryn to a smoking wasteland." I think it's possible that Dany's landing in Westeros will mirror the Andal's arrival, landing in the Vale first—she also brings a train of refugees who follow her like a Messiah. When they land, I think Tyrion will urge extreme violence, also mirroring the Andal invasion.

After that, though, I think we probably cut to ADOS. I don't want to figure out the logistics of getting Sansa back to Winterfell (with Tyrion?) but I don't think it will happen in TWOW anyway.

That's my full prediction for Sansa in TWOW. tbh I hope she gets a lot of chapters, there were so few in AFFC.

[yuyusuyu]

blurred lines and lies — author's goodbye

hello everyone! first of all, thank you so, so, so much for reading this goofy series of mine and for giving it the love that you did! it truly always made my day whenever i would see someone giving feedback on any chapter whether it be showing distaste towards younghee the witch to showing support to jongho (and yeosang).

in my goodbyes to a series of mine, i like to talk a little bit about what inspired the series and all that good jazz!

inspiration... i took a lot of inspiration from ateez's not too late, faye webster's i know you, and mitski's i guess. however, somewhere along the way, i took a lot from my own experience with something almost similar to this. i used to have a friend since i was in fourth grade, and we'd have been friends for ten years this year. did i ever love him? i'm not sure, but i most definitely knew that he had a special place in my heart since he was very dear to me. he got a girlfriend, who i encouraged he should go after, only to learn she was toxic and manipulative towards the end. he decided to leave me behind and end our friendship for her because she asked him to.

honestly, i was really mad about it when i woke up and read his messages (yes, he texted me all of that). i'm thankful for my best friend who was able to talk sense into me, saying that i wasn't the problem but rather the girlfriend. (thank you always, my dearest dia).

it's been about a year since then. sometimes i wonder how he's doing, if he's still with his girlfriend (which i assume he is). i was very bitter up until recently, which was when i started writing this. i think this is just my way of saying goodbye to him and our friendship in all seriousness. i do still wish him the best, i always will. i just hope i look back at this goofy series of mine if he ever decides to reach out again and see that i shouldn't be as forgiving as reader is in this story (because i am a person who does believe in second chances! though, there was this one time my trusting nature got taken advantage of way too badly and, well, i try not to forgive others as easily as i used to. that is another story for another day omg another short series coming soon?!).

other than that, again, i just took inspiration from the three songs mentioned earlier! especially not too late, i would have that song playing hours on end while planning and writing the chapters!

in the beginning, this series was honestly going to be a two-shot where yeosang got cheated on and reader was just going to be there for him. i honestly don't know how it evolved into what it is now, but i went through my drafts on wattpad and i have a story similar to this where reader was in love with some dude from some group i liked at the time. reader watched said dude get married and then she fell in love with a mutual friend of theirs years later. i guess that's where i got the yeosang getting married idea from?!

when i was still planning the chapters and fine tuning the plot, yeoang and reader were always going to end up together. it just... felt right to me? jongho was always just going to see reader as just a friend, no more no less. but then i messed it all up and said: hm, why not have a love triangle! but with the love triangle, i didn't want to have just one ending. it wasn't fair to jongho, thus why both he and yeosang had their own ending!

a feedback i got for yeosang's end had me wondering about how it would actually be like if the story had ended with them being in a poly relationship. one thing is for sure: jongho would always be at yeosang's throat for no reason. yeosang accidentally cooked something reader didn't like? here comes jongho ready to tell him off for doing such a 'stupid' thing. jongho would for sure pick a fight over any thing, be it small or little, with yeosang. yeosang would, because he was always a little jealous of jongho from the start, either try to one up him in some way or get really insecure and grab reader's attention in that way and most definitely make a face of victory at jongho when reader decides to pamper him. very chaotic vibes, honestly. it's basically a war zone with reader being the mediator. unfortunately, i have no idea how to write poly relationships so you're all stuck with those two endings </3

i think that's everything i wanted to touch on! to my dearest friend who encouraged me to write this, dia who is not on tumblr which is a good thing because i would be so embarrassed if she were to read whatever i write, thank you!

if you have any questions regarding the story and whatnot, comment and i'll try to answer to the best of my ability!

again, thank you all for reading this! thank you all for liking the plot and sticking around for when i updated the series!

with much love,

yuyusuyu aka dea aka drea :)

previous | masterlist

taglist (final!): @kpopnightingale @seonghwaddict @imsodazed @honeyhwaaa @nakiiko @diorwoo @h-nji @jisungxident @tenebrisirae @yunhogrippers @acciocriativity @scarfac3 @mundayoonimnida @kyeos4ng

perma taglist (bold means that i can't tag you): @asjkdk @kodzukein @hrt4jeno @lissiesykes @jeonride

BLURRED LINES AND LIES | yuyusuyu 2023

[jpeg-dot-jpeg]

1, 19, 21, 36, & 39 for the ask game pls? 💖

Which of your fics would you keep the basic plot of but rewrite completely?

Mmmmmm probably Small Price, Necessary Sacrifice. I love a good breaking the bed trope but it was one of my very first fics Ever so i find the writing very. unrefined.

19. Share a snippet from a wip without giving any context for it.

Bruce answered the nurse’s remaining questions in a daze, nodding and humming at all the right times, signing the paperwork that was handed to him, pulling his clothes back on once she’d left. His head was a barren desert with a hollow whistling passing through it and a tumbleweed rolling across the empty landscape. The tumbleweed being his single coherent thought of, Fuck.  It didn’t hit him until he was standing in the middle of the parking garage trying to remember where he’d parked his car. “Holy shit,” he said aloud to the line of apathetic vehicles in front of him. He bent over, bracing his hands on his knees. “Christ on a fucking bicycle.”

21. Can you accurately predict how long your fics are going to be? If you can, what's your secret?

Vaguely? I always know before I start whether what I'm writing will be a one-shot, short chaptered, or long chaptered, but sequels and extra chapters have a way of sneaking up on me. I can guess word count pretty accurately when I'm doing a writing challenge because the amount of time I have to write is more specific.

36. How do you come up with fic titles? What's the one you're most proud of?

Depends on the fic! If one is inspired by a song it gets a lyric title, but other than that I just go by general vibes. Whatever the main theme of the story is usually informs the title.

My favorite fic title is Detective Timothy Drake and the Mysterious Case of the Unclaimed Dildo, cuz i think it's hilarious, but the one I'm most proud of is probably Phleum Pratense because its a sneaky clue as to the contents of the story.

39. Wildest AU scenario you have written?

okay i have a wip going right now where all of the batkids are bruce's biological children. and all of the other biological parents happen to be members of the rogues gallery. so that one's kinda wild.

Gifting you a bouquet of rice shiefs in thanks for the ask, tauria 🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾

[officeobject]

Boyfriends Webtoon slander compilation (the old compilation + will update)

Color codes:

Pink = Darlen stuff

Purple: Compilations, aesthetic stuff, etc

Orange: Other, such as news, I guess

Everything before "Best and worst fidgets, for when you're watching Boyfriends Slander content" is old and from 2023 or something.

Why I hate them (I can swear to God none of my hate is in a joking way)

Besides the fact that they are stereotypical, awful characters, I knew someone for years who reminded me of Goth (which is why I seem to hate Goth the most), and Prep reminds me why I'm aromantic asexual, whilst also making me feel aroacephobic to myself. The webtoom gives me the same feelings as, and remind me of me, if I was alloromabtic allosexual, and that would include a change of both personality and would also remove my neurodivergence, since I could swear to God I can't separate myself from those identities. The webtoon is the webtoon equivalent of what I feared I would become, the webtoon is the equivalent of when I'm being myself less, etc, and hating on it makes me feel:

A sense of community, pride (also queer pride), general happiness, a sense of being heard and understood (the latter of which I don't seem to feel as often as the average person), a sense of belonging, a sense of being allowed to be me, and many other things. 

Anyways, I obviously also hate Nerd and Jock (in case you don't know, he likes the other back, has a puppy kink, and allegedly also has a cow kink), but I connect Goth and Prep more to things that make me feel like shit, but subconsciously. 

Also, allegedly some people have been rude to the, or at least one of them, and I have a squish (the extreme type, which is usual for me) on whichever character that is, and I'll end up having that character as a special interest, and I'll write a free story or something, to the one who can provide me this info!

Btw, I saw Nerdburningcore being called AND I FINALLY FOUND MY OWN!

OUR Boyfriends headcanons (for everyone who follows specifically this book)

I'll start:

Goth hates Darlen Momentum. 

Jock sweats more than Jebediah 

Nerd is the type of smart kid that most people don't like, but who will turn everyone against you, and hit you, and tell you to do stuff you don't want to, then claim to be your friend

Prep likes Justin Bieber's Baby song. 

🟡Good slander, slander, and YTPs compilation:

Boyfriend slander WITH KISS CENSORING/STOPPING:

youtu.be/MEIB21HqUDI

Second:

youtu.be/CIoBu_ZgBJM

NOT Final:

youtu.be/N-f7HLF3wr4

More:

youtu.be/V2ffrHvU1qM

Even more, flash warning: youtu.be/zyP2HZAiYHg

A good YTP with a good ending:

youtu.be/qZlV8DC-1h0

And slander:

youtu.be/aS7WYx6r8w0

New slander:

youtu.be/xRaTLEY1Zqs

More slander, good intro:

youtu.be/SoFYNudWR_g

More slander by same person:

youtu.be/4C083_ka99Q

Part 1, of more slander

youtu.be/DuSCIzydy8A

Boyfriends slander with censored kisses:

youtu.be/OrXeM7ux3pc

Another good slander, with most of the ads, and stuff: 

youtu.be/lxcJqFAoaaU

Simple/simply slander:

youtu.be/tLGutJH4pWw

Nice short slander

youtu.be/g4MJMPjR5og?si=RXb-wMm98_9imOoC

Good reactions and reviews, video version compilation:

A funny reaction to some of the ads:

youtu.be/ICbEsD3FJqI

An appropriate reaction to the Prep Tiktok ad:

youtube.com/shorts/Qf3KJyCsyQs?feature=share

A public, short, around 3 dollars Boyfriends few official Webtoon images fan dub roast:

youtube.com/shorts/7vi4RKe-Gf0?feature=share

Why a YouTuber doesn't like Boyfriends, but check the comments about clarification about information on Refrainbow, and this is kinda a review thing:

youtu.be/e7DjreUgRqw?si=Zut35OLBWNgUgc2O

Good inspirational videos for when the one you dislike/hate is like one of the characters, and/or a Boyfriends fan compilation:

Sending someone on Discord, the text from the Prep ad:

youtube.com/shorts/laXriYdFov0?feature=share4

Annoy the shit out of Nerd, POV: youtu.be/jWvx6hhRBE8

Inviting Nerd to spend quality time with him (animation meme-like short vid).

Good Boyfriends voice-overs, and dubs compilation:

Boyfriends good voice-over, almost the entire thing is good (that's more than what I can say for over half the slanders)

youtu.be/bcTzm824zZU

Another voice over with good quality:

youtu.be/j9O10JrPruk

And the sequel:

youtu.be/I9-DrKYswxw

Third one:

youtu.be/4681Wr1TLxk

Boyfriends but I don't hate Goth TW for suicide stuff:

youtu.be/r1mJKCephf0

Boyfriends Webtoon everything voice-over, captions included, so that you can understand Goth's 9129380198273 year old smoker voice, like, he is a representation and manifestation of SO many things that I hate, and some of the worst things in my life:

youtu.be/hGe5P8c9UxM

I have NO idea what they're saying, but the voice-acting is great, for this voice-over:

youtu.be/fX4Vl0yt7f8

A good dub, with extra good stuff, such as more Goth slander than most:

youtu.be/1Be-U5nbrao

Boyfriends, but everything is voice-acted:

youtu.be/fZPBDD6PeSc

A good dub, with extra good stuff, such as more Goth slander than most:

youtu.be/1Be-U5nbrao

A voice-over:

youtu.be/8njDkkjIRpE

This is also a voice-over:

youtu.be/HbT0GBAc-Lw

Chapter 1-20, (30 MINUTES OF SLANDER) voice-acting:

youtu.be/LrXEr6DiDNw

Speedpaints and links to art compilation: 🟪

Purple Hoodie Guy speedpaint: 

youtu.be/E1zbgo0UZ2k

Boyfriends first (according to me), commercial thing, cheap animation version, Prep moan warning.

Part 2, Nerd-meeting commercial:

youtu.be/ts81D-m50_0?si=e3VMVgrynkyU59Bg

Part 3, last part, party commercial:

youtu.be/acqhWghYeL0?si=k90ZGSRmHMwgeR_L

Boyfriends slander quotes:

"If I were the *I forgot* of this comic, I would give these two more brain cells." Or something like that. -Squidy. 

" "yAy A bOyS nUmBeR" yeah, whatever." - Four the four. 

"Uhm ... yeeeaaaahhhh, I'm not gonna read the rest of it, because it's just flirting around, like a moron." - Four the four

"The trash touched the trash, how romantic! sO cUtE i'M goNnA mElT! You know what's cute?! YOUR DEAD CORPSE." 

- Four the four

Random Boyfriends webtoon facts (and reasons to hate)

A LOT has happened in my life, but I can be here, to bring you some Boyfriends facts!

The webtoon that fetishizies gay and poly people, is made by a queer (queers can still.be queerphobic and whatnot, and I can use that word, because I'M queer), pro-shipper, who drew fan art of a K-pop singer ... as in, pornographic fan art ... as in, of that singer being a minor ... as in, WHILE that singer was a minor ... also, yes, the creator, was also a minor, at the time, but he still drew and wrote a bunch of porn of IRL people, and shipped the underaged person, sexually, and with the older members of the band. 

Moving on, we have a Jock fact:

He has a puppy kink, and allegedly a cow kink (if you don't know those things are, basically, he finds it sexually attractive, when people act like a stereotypical puppy and/or a stereotypical cow)

Now, a Nerd fact: People find it suspicious that he somewhat and/or sometimes acts like a kid, even though they're all college students (around 20, Lance Gray's age), and is still highly sexualized, and people find it weird that they think he even LOOKS like a kid. Also, he dyes his hair, and since one of the main ways I recognized people and characters is by hair, that confused me a lot. Sounds like stereotypical nerd emoji. 

Prep fact: People think he's like the gay stereotype. He has cringe lines, and he is never a good boy, and he is not a good boy. 

Goth fact: One of the types of people I stay away from, not even goth (is basically an e-boy). Trans man, which we all will accept, but we won't accept HIS PERSONALITY. Also, why does he sound like a smoker, even though, on average, people DON'T sound like smokers, unless they are? Oh, wait ... ANYWAYS, he has those cat headphones, that people cringe at, and for a good reason, because THAT outfit with THOSE headphones?! EW! Anyways, he is a gamer, and people think he's a stereotypical Discord mod, but I'd say, he's the guy to show everyone your fight with him, without consent, make brutal fake fights, spam your server with stuff, because "if you gotta have one, this is what might happen, so get used to it", or something more pathetic, instead of just muting your server or whatever. He's also the type to not care about what you write, and also the type to make sexual jokes, and and the type to send irrelevant GIFs, and when you're trying to be the mature one, he will react like "u hoe ass loser", even though you're the opposite of a hoe, and he sure ain't. He's also the type to self-harm and have mental stuff, and make jokes about it, and when you don't know how to react, and/or react innapropriately (maybe because you're neurodivergent), he gets mad, and doesn't believe people will help him, and doesn't take your advice, so what are you supposed to do?! He's also the type to be quite mean if he's in a fight, and to have them a lot, etc. 

Non-voiced character's voice-claims

Would this be Purple Hoodie Guy? (LISTEN BEYOND THE START, FOR BEST RESULTS LISTEN TOWARDS THE END:) youtu.be/lJPX7FF_bYQ

Every canon Purple Hoodie Guy scene I'm aware of, written and described

Note: He's not hot, and don't ship him (sorry, just my friendly feelings towards him). 

One scene is him kinda from a distance. He is wearing his iconic outfit, consisting of a (bright) pastel purple hoodie, a white cap with, like, THE part, of the cap, being almost black, but appears to just be an extreme dark shade of color, a white shirt, that isn't low-cut nor anything , and his black jeans are technically ripped jeans (at both respective knees). He is walking, and holding what is implied to be a glass of beer, in a beer glass at least, with beer to the brim, and almost completely over-flowing with that one part of beer, that I forgot, except the implied beer, is a light pink. His hair is short, but seems messy, but INTENDED-MESSY, and he has light pancake skin, lightly red lips (lucky, because mine seems to just be too bright, in my opinion, or maybe I'm just thinking it, without that being true), and his hair is also a shade of dark blond, but the shade of blond ACTUALLY looks cool, which is rare for blond people! He is looking, and walking, to the left, from the right, and that is the angle, of which his nose is being seen from. His glass of a chosen drink, is held in his right hand. His mouth is closed.

Every canon Purple Hoodie Guy scene I'm aware of, written and described

Note: He's not hot, and don't ship him (sorry, just my friendly feelings towards him). 

One scene is him kinda from a distance. He is wearing his iconic outfit, consisting of a (bright) pastel purple hoodie, a white cap with, like, THE part, of the cap, being almost black, but appears to just be an extreme dark shade of color, a white shirt, that isn't low-cut nor anything , and his black jeans are technically ripped jeans (at both respective knees). He is walking, and holding what is implied to be a glass of beer, in a beer glass at least, with beer to the brim, and almost completely over-flowing with that one part of beer, that I forgot, except the implied beer, is a light pink. His hair is short, but seems messy, but INTENDED-MESSY, and he has light pancake skin, lightly red lips (lucky, because mine seems to just be too bright, in my opinion, or maybe I'm just thinking it, without that being true), and his hair is also a shade of dark blond, but the shade of blond ACTUALLY looks cool, which is rare for blond people! He is looking, and walking, to the left, from the right, and that is the angle, of which his nose is being seen from. His glass of a chosen drink, is held in his right hand. His mouth is closed.

Another one, is a closer shot, and one learns that the strings of his hoodie are actually a lighter shade, than the hoodie itself, but still pastel purple. His face-shape is more detailed, and he isn't QUITE looking directly at one, but half-way there. He has average ears, that are more pink-ish on the inside, and his drink got audibly, and accidentally, bumped into Jock, which has the expected effect, including PHG himself, looking angry, or at least on his way there. He is clenched his teeth with anger, which reveals his hygienic, and brushed, calcium-made mouth-bones. (If this comes up when searching for him, then we all better HOPE he's not famous/popular anymore, lmao!)

Yet another one, is close to him, and in the same angry as the first one mentioned and all, except it is as detailed as the FIRST one mentioned, and includes him being ready, to, with quite an amount of anger, yell/scream/shout at Jock, as he looks average, and his dark (black, specifically), eyebrows, are more a part of his expression, than ever before. He has taken Jock's white shirt, and is keeping Jock close enough to yell threatingly at, effectively, but it is also visible, that the holding of the garbage bag, is meant in an angry, and aggressive, and generally unhappy way, as the emotions that are allegedly being conveyed here, being that he won't let Jock go, until Jock hears, and gets threatened by, PHG putting him in his place, like the leader bitch he is. His hand's palm doesn't look the same as mine, as he has one line, visibly, which is near the base of his thumb, starting at exactly that weird middle part of the front of the arm that I personally have, starting a bit more to the left, before being a straight-ish line, that otherwise is on its way to the right. He visibly seems to be an average human, having average bones at average places, complete with thinner skin at the usual places one has thinner skin, as shown by the bone near his neck, and the previously-mentioned arm-dip. PHG has anger-lines, as if it's not obvious, that he is angry, like, I may be bad at social stuff, like pure shit, but it's obvious to me that he is angry, which is one of the most obvious examples of conveying emotions, that this only-good-for-PHG-Webtoon has, as far as I am aware of. Meanwhile, Jock is showing "calm down" in his body-language, remaining somewhat calm, with the average speech-bubble saying, written exactly:

"H-HEY, TAKE IT EASY, MAN..."

The last scene, is the same scene, but from a more far away shot, like the first one, and PHG is clenching his fist, and teeth, respectively, with the same negative emotions, as established. He is saying, in an average speech-bubble:

"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, FUCKFACE!" spelled exactly that way, all-caps. 

Goth is watching, with a "?", looking like shit as always, eyes not visible.

Nifty quality fanfic/fanfiction compilation + nifty slander books

A forced, exercise-themed challenge, FT. Purple Hoodie Guy:

boyfriends headcanons !! - the boyfriends do the pacer test - Wattpad

The restaurant staff must work together, in order to kill the Boyfriends:

boyfriends headcanons !! - explosions - Wattpad

The day already had a shocking start, but will it at least not be THAT bad, from now on?

Boyfriends fanfic 🖤 - tamariplushies - Wattpad

Has all except Jock, and has mostly about Prep, but is descriptive of how they really are:

the book of slander - boyfriends slander: prep - Wattpad

Premium Boyfriends-hater, defends friend

I don't care that she says she likes that Webtoon, and that she has read enough to make an opinion, as SHE ADMITTED TO NOT READING MUCH, and she has the Webtoon app, so I think maybe her taste is generally shit, plus, I don't think she knows about the NSFW chapters, and Boyfriends gets more cringe, if you read beyond a little bit. 

FACTUAL graphic novel info

Gonna add this, in case this is what you're here for, and you'd be freaking out like how I would: PURPLE HOODIE GUY WILL NOT APPEAR IN THIS, AS HE DOES NOT APPEAR IN EPISODE 55, NOR ANY ONES BEFORE!

The official description is some of the story, and some lies (such as, calling Goth the word "sexy"), and the cover image is of Prep, and chibi versions of the other Boyfriends (this time, Nerd has blue hair), and some yellow stars in various sizes that look like stickers, a planet or two, and some strawberries, and oh my God I don't know exactly why I hate Boyfriends but while most people do not hate stuff that gives me similar/the same feelings, people usually hate Boyfriends. A second book is planned, BUT DON'T BUY THEM, BECAUSE THERE WILL BE FREE REVIEWS ONLINE, AND PICTURES, AND BECAUSE OF THIS FACT:

"Collects episodes 1–55 of the WEBTOON comic Boyfriends." (I deleted the word "delightful"). So, yeah, it's just a scroll-free compilation of the Webtoon episodes, in order ... wait ... there will be physical copies of all of that ... God save us ...

Boyfriends Volume One: A WEBTOON Unscrolled Graphic Novel

by refrainbow

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Paperback

$19.99 

SHIP THIS ITEMQualifies for Free Shipping Available for Pre-Order. This item will be available on November 21, 2023

More details: 

Book 1 of 2Boyfriends

Print length304 pages

LanguageEnglish

PublisherWEBTOON Unscrolled

Publication dateNovember 21, 2023

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ WEBTOON Unscrolled (November 21, 2023)

Language ‏ : ‎ English

Paperback ‏ : ‎ 304 pages

ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1990259782

ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1990259784

Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1 pounds

Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 1 x 9 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #549,867 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

#564 in LGBTQ+ Manga (Books)

#2,759 in Romance Manga (Books)

If you wanna see the cover, the description, and some random details, here, but keep it away from fans: Boyfriends Volume One: A WEBTOON Unscrolled Graphic Novel by refrainbow, Paperback | Barnes & Noble® (barnesandnoble.com)

Boyfriends Volume One: A WEBTOON Unscrolled Graphic Novel (Boyfriends, 1): refrainbow: 9781990259784: Amazon.com: Books

And more stuff is out on the internet, but basically, there is no reason to be afraid, except for having physical versions of otherwise digital trash.

When info comes out about the second one, then I will write that down, and also tell if PHG is there, but there obviously won't be any new images of him, then, and don't buy it, as pics are available online, and the money from the copies, and even from just scrolling on Webtoon, would logically partially go to Refrainbow, at minimum, who can then make more trash, like, at least make captain Darlen Momentum canonically chosen siblings with re-occuring fellow antagonist "Purple Hoodie Guy".

My opinions on Boyfriend ships

Also, for those who will probably say "but don't you hate them?", I'd like to say, that thinking a couple is good together, shipping, etc, does not make my hate any less than it is, as I don't like the people, but it's nice seeing two shits having to deal with each other (and also, yes, I even got a couple to be together, but now I actually want the dude to experience the pain that I got from his lover, due to his cruelty, and I hope they break up).

Prep x Nerd: Honestly, it's entertaining, but at the same time, I wanna destroy this ship thing.

Prep x Jock: I think I actually might only ship them, because they had a crush on each other, before eventually hooking up ...

Nerd x Jock: To be honest, I don't wanna see that.

Jock x Goth:  I hate this.

Prep x Goth: This is not only my favorite ship, but also, I generally just ship this.

Goth x Nerd: I ship this, too, but it's not THAT good, you know?

PHG x Goth: Stop.

PHG x Prep: WHY?! Anyways, I hate it. 

PHG x Jock: The one who is Purple Hoodie Guy, bumped into a guy who spilled his drink unintentionally, and who has a puppy kink, so does anyone really THINK they should be shipped?! ESPECIALLY due to their respective personalities?!

PHG x Nerd: No.

PURPLE HOODIE GUY FAN WEBTOON CONCEPT BY SOMEONE OTHER THAN DARLEN

Purple Hoodie Guy | WEBTOON (webtoons.com)

WAIT ... ROMANCE AS A GENRE?!

Non-platonic PHG fanself-ship stuff, presumably, I don't know, I'M not taking a cool at it

And for reference, Boyfriends extra chapters, refers to 18+ mini-stories (I think, I don't know), that has the Boyfriends, but never Purple Hoodie Guy, only available by payment, or I guess someone else leaking it, I think, which is where their names are ACTUALLY used, and I guess some fans posted about it, because now some of us know, but I honestly don't even care that much, after I heard the names.

Boyfriends extra chapter 1 scribd

msl-training.de

ocigbxury.msl-training.de

... them ( ps: includes selfshipping with Myself x Purple Hoodie Guy. ... If you're looking for a long BL comic with a versatile/switch Boyfriends Extra ...

Here is the link, but also, I could imagine what it is, and I don't like it. Don't know anything about the site, the creator, or anything, and I'm not clicking on that, but if someone could tell me if it IS just someone having sex, as a self-insert ship, then I could just know that, post about it, and move on.

Stuff for those who hate generic anime, and stuff that reminds of generic anime

(Those videos I have linked, are good enough in quality, and make fun of stuff like that).

A bit of generic animes

Generic anime intro made by a meme channel

Part 2

I'm gonna make a QnA, and also, I split up the Boyfriends slander video compilation, in order to have it more sorted

I also have an emoji on the first AND last video compilation, so you can scroll the perfect distance, and I'm also thinking of making a "things Boyfriends fans tend to defend the Webtoon with, and some reasons why I still don't like it" thing.

I have no idea how, months later (aka, since AROUND FEBRUARY, I'M NOT KIDDING), I still have more I can post about, but oh well.

I saw the (now) 1+ month old official Boyfriends return announcement, so you don't have to (and described what you might want, and need to know)

12 June 2023, the description has the link to the Webtoon, the official social media, and credits, but not before a "The boys are back ... soon!" Message. 

The first image is an image I will describe later, with a heavy overlay of purple, and with "the boyfriends are back!" As text, before switching to another image, with the text reading "the moment you've all been waiting for", that gets replaced by "Are you ready?" 

Then there is a quick image of Goth trying to stare into my soul, but as if I'm a disgusting creature, as he still looks like an E-boy, and there is a more zoomed-in image, that is under the purple filter thing unlike the first one mentioned, that is in the background, and he holds up a finger, and between the images, there is the number "1", as what appears to be the start of a countdown, is synced to the music. 

The next part is that, except it's Jock, but Jock doesn't have a resting bitch-face like Goth, and has a blue theme, and is presumably blushing, and has a wide smile that shows his teeth, as well as a wink, and a hand like "✌".

Next is Prep, with one eye close, and open mouth that shows his top front teeth, and dude looks like he's gonna rant about something that isn't good enough, and there is the number "3" in the background, with 3 fingers held up. 

Lastly is Nerd wearing a "cute" sweater outfit, with white glasses and pink hair, a yellow background, and that background image thing, but both of his arms are spread, holding 2 fingers respectively, to the side, as he has a "cute" face with an open mouth. 

Next up, is the text "moving in together?!" With several images in photograph things. 

The first one is Goth doing something I can't see, Jock perhaps being angry at the blond genderbend Boyfriends one (but yes, that exists, but that ain't where my focus is at), with his open mouth, as he holds 3 boxes with Nerd "cutely" on top, while the genderbend one is happily and casually carrying 2+ boxes, that have those shake lines, and Prep looks surprised but in a bad way, to his right, at them all, as he is closest to the "camera". 

The next image is Goth throwing clothes behind him, as the angle makes it so that one can't see what he is taking stuff from (which I guess is a drawer), and based on the style, it's Prep's clothes, and his face is like "><" + "🔺️" for his mouth, as he seems to be in the clothes he sleeps in, and is leaning, seemingly harshly against the closet, with his back, which is where the clothes are being thrown. 

The third one is their chili forms in either casual clothes, or pajamas, as Nerd is on a scooter, and they look down in a box, that they are circled around, on the floor. 

Then, a film-reel style of images, are shown, some repeated. 

The first image is Jock looking behind himself, as he drives a purple vehicle like "🛻" (I forgot what it's called). He is surprised, and there are boxes in the place that can have boxes, and Nerd is "cutely" and happily watching Goth and Prep holding each other, lying down, and kissing, on the van thing, chibi style. 

On another image, God knows what is behind them, but they're in the apartment, and there is a place to sit, and a few boxes, but they are dressed in casual clothes, as pink-haired Nerd seems to nervously walk, with little to no visible of a face, and Prep standing in front of him, back faced, seemingly yelling, while being defensive. 

The next one is happily Prep with an open mouth, standing and staring at us, while the location is presumably his new bedroom. 

The next image is distressed and nervous and/or mad Prep holding a purple goat mask thing, and I don't think Prep has anything other than the white part, in his eye. One can't see Goth's expression in the background, as he is completely facing his back on us, and the same for Jock, except half, and he seems surprised, as they are watching a shelf of vials with liquids, and generally containers, and maybe a few books, and such. 

Then, a feminine and quite pink bedroom, with unhappy animal plushies, is seen, as Jock has wide eyes, and a "😐" expression, staring, being close to us, as a body-pillow is standing up against the window and the bed, of Prep, which looks suggestive, as well as the two on the ground next to each other, of Goth and Jock, respectively, implying they didn't know that Nerd commissioned body-pillows of them, without consent ... and also, they are ALL suggestive ... I hate Nerd even more, now, but also, there is a dramatic zoom-in on that, as if it's a shocking, yet exciting and/or generally happy reveal ... this is literally one of the reasons that people call Nerd a pervert, and generally hate this Webtoon ...

Some gradient background with clouds is then shown, with the text "Reminisce past relationships", as Goth is looking like an E-boy, eyes not visible, frowning with closed and visible teeth, as his face is close to Prep's blushing face, as he is gripping the other guy's wrist, and there is white sparkle effects and white comet effects, and he looks surprised yet neutral-ish. 

Next up, e-boy is sweating, and is facing us, eyes not visible, presumably the pannel afterwards, but from a different POV, with an unhappy but nervous and no longer mad mouth, as he appears now even more, to have sexual and/or romantic feelings, and as if he knows what that comes across. 

Next up, Goth is gripping the wrist of the surprised and wide-eyed, blushing Prep, as his face seems to be in denial, yet without visible eyes, as it appears that Goth kissed him, and lazier drawn Goth that was added in afterwards, holds up a sign over where their mouths would be, that says "SPOILERS AHEAD !!!", and on the sides, it's shown again, but with respective color filter things. 

"And live in the moments of the current ones!" The next text with the next image, says, as part of who I think is Goth, which is near the shoulder, an arm, and a part of the side of his body, that is shown (who cares about how English functions anymore?!), and i think there are pillows, but definitely pajamas - but also, what I assume is sexual liquid, dripping from the mouth of the more visible character, whose eyes are hidden, who has light hair, and appears to be about nervous and a bit enjoying whatever happened, and also maybe the sexual liquid is elsewhere -

And then the color filter of blue, comes off, and there's a big, dramatic zoom up, revealing that the boyfriends are all satisfied, lying down and hugging Jock, while Prep and Jock blush, and Prep snores, and Jock seems surprised and distressed but probably isn't, and Nerd is just salivating. 

The next one is some dotted, gradient background thing, as "cute" and happy Nerd, hugs Prep, lying down, eyes closed, while Prep has invisible eyes, and an otherwise "😖" mouth, and his hand is on Nerd, and his feet are on, or around, Jock and Goth, as Goth sits uncomfortably on top of Jock, hand on him, seemingly horrified, sitting uncomfortably, as the content Jock has his arms wrapped around him. 

Then there is a random background that is no location, and is just the boyfriends chibi heads, looking like (Goth, Nerd, Prep, Jock, respectively):

"😑", "🤓😃", 😠" with an open mouth, and "☺" or something like that. 

There are two Girlfriends Webtoon characters, then amazed Nerd with blue hair, dressed like a Planet Idol Puri character, and Nerd has so dramatic eye-liner or mascara or whatever, that I don't even know if that long thing eventually stops, and transitions flawlessly into a continuation, in hair form, but he looks as usual, but with a pink bag, a lollipop, and the side on OUR left, being a bit different, as half of his shirt and hair, is some kind of light pink. "New self-discoveries!" The text says. 

Then cosplay Nerd is alone, looking distressed and surprised in our direction. 

Then he suddenly looks "cute" and happy, with all of his facial features closed, as he holds his face. 

There is chibi cosplay Nerd, and that's about it, then. 

"Stepping out of comfort zones!" As photograph image things show, where for example Goth suffers while lifting weights, Jock looks seriously somewhere past us while in a batista outfit at a different image, and at another one, there is a wooden spoon in the hands of Prep who had food flying around and something and then "cock" on his apron. He'd tooooootally be trusted in a restaurant. 

Then chibi siluetthe heads, I know that I spelt that wrong but I don't care because I always hated that word, and I am tired. 

Jock is then having tears in his eyes, an open mouth that is frowning with visible front teeth, and text outside the pannel, being like "And despite their ups". 

"and downs..." Goth has wide eyes, shocked, mouth open yet teeth closed. 

Then none of the two mentioned people's eyes are visible, as Jock makes a dramatic run, but as an emotional person, that's not how you're supposed to portray yourself unironically, like, that is not an extreme emotion, that's a goofy ahh run, and he is sad and perhaps a bit angry and Goth is shocked and reaches out with one hand. 

Then some Filmora Go + Capcut vibe camera filter is placed on them, posing, happily holding each other, whatever. 

Purple thing over previous images mentioned, text over, "Bringing smiles to your faces again". I am tired and feeling weak and maybe my eyes hurt, and I spent a long time and I don't think I even know and/or can describe emotions that I see, anymore, and I was also shocked by my housemate coming from behind me out of nowhere, while I was describing the first pannel of Goth toooootally not chrusing on Prep. I hate myself. I just wish ... I don't know, it seems like some people just wanna see me unhappy, right now, btw, and everyone else seems to have succes - and I forgot what else I was gonna write, because I was busy sobbing while venting to a housemate, but, anyways, in a way, this Webtoon DOES make me smile, because the slandering is fun, I love PHG, and it's just pure fuel for more slander, and they are so goofy ahh. 

And I don't remember when, but at some point, with that image "Bringing smiles to your faces again"

Then nothing except some color background whatever, with the previously shown images being in the background, under the filter, with the date of " 06.19.2023", which I guess means it already has more stuff, I don't know, I avoid reading it, and only watch slander dubs, partially because going in there on Webtoon, would give money to the creator.

Other Boyfriends logo. 

Webtoon logo.

"Only On Webtoon". 

Original Boyfriends logo, with an image of generic moving in stuff, and just the boyfriends doing stuff that is not relevant (Jock is looking back at them, while holding a box, Nerd is "✌" while holding a box, looking "cute", and Goth looks like Goth, who holds happy Prep. Under the logo, it says "Moving in together with you!" Which honestly sounds like a threat, but if Refrainbow ever sees this, then I will work with him, as in, just adding me as Purple Hoodie Guy's chosen sibling and best friend, because ... do I need to give a reason? 

Then back screen. 

Don't harass the creator and stuff ... do suggest, but not in a bad way, to add me, and say relevant stuff about me - also, you should probably just vaguely say say I post a lot about Boyfriends, instead of what I specifically post. 

I looked at Refrainbow's Boyfriends social media posts, and this is what I found (which I wish I never did), here's stuff that might be new

Trivia, includes stuff that I wish I never knew, and no PHG stuff.

Disclaimer: Don't harass, doxx, etc, obviously, and also, this is MY slander compilation, so we obviously know not to do it, and we don't do that.

- They regularly attend stuff with Boyfriends stuff

- Goth is the only top - or the only bottom, I don't care nor remember

- Goth is Refrainbow's self-insert, I'm pretty darn sure 

- In case you forgot, Nerd and Prep are pan, Jock is bi, and Goth is a trans asexual guy.

- Something that I can't even describe, because I have no idea how to say it

- Take it as you wanna, but they have bunny ears and tails in one image, and based on Nerd's pose, it's a sex thing.

- Nerd is also ALLEGEDLY a demiboy

- Also, I think Refrainbow has a puppy kink as well, and some other kinks

- I HOPE that Jock expected Nerd to squeeze his "boobs", because otherwise that wasn't consensual, (as in,  Jock is a cis man, but it's the same area or whatever you know what I mean, so he does not technically have boobs)

- Refrainbow sees their ship-dynamics as "puppy bf x tsuntsunt bf" (Jock and Prep), "disaster gay senpai x disaster kouhai" (Prep x Nerd), "bros that kiss sometimes" (Goth x Jock), "beeg himbo x thirsty smoll" of which the himbo is more aware of the thirst than he seems (and does stuff on purpose, according to the image, and also, that is Nerd x Jock), "goth bf x pastel bf" (with the pastel one being much softer, and that is Nerd x Goth), "osananajimi" (with a bonus of the dynamic being swapped during childhood, and we are talking about Prep x Goth), 

- You can commission fan art

- He seems generally so proud and happy about Boyfriends

- There is Boyfriends merch, including stuff for Tamagotchis 

- They have made a blushing face meme, with Goth

- Oui, they make other comics, but are now focusing on working full-time on Boyfriends

- They - especially Nerd, don't know hygiene, when making strawberry-related stuff in the kitchen

- I got to accidentally see them with kink gear on (there's drawings on the Twitter), email me bleach

- "If you look like either of these dm me" spelled exactly like that. Nerd and Jock, respectively, if you wanna know.

- They have cat outfits

- Refrainbow's drawing captioned "commit cringe on main": "Donut hole" (Nerd's social media according to the drawing) made a Twitter post, consisting of him in a cat outfit, and I don't know what's with the feet, and it's called "New photoshoot for my OF" (which stands for "Only Fans", and ask and do not search it if you don't know what that is), with 41230 likes, and comments reading "Ew", "who would pay for that", "SNIFF", and "u do customs?". Goth is looking at it, eyes covered by his e-boy hair, and there are speech bubbles coming from the phone, with dollar signs in them. Goth has a cigarette in hand, and is now lying down, with 1 drop of sweat, and hair covering eyes, and a strained face and a shaking body, as his phone is on Spotify or something, and the other arm is behind his pillow, because Nerd is holding his neck with both hands. Goth asks "Can I have a kiss too?". Next image, hair covered for both, Nerd in his fugly outfit, hearts, "he" is being said twice by Nerd but more as a sound effect, and one hand is against Goth's, and the other is holding Goth's chin or whatever, and Nerd is smiling and is like "Maybe after you brush your teeth *insert that wavy thing* Your breath smells like cigarettes". 

- "Did you really think I was above this? #" (some suggestive pose that is NOT morning stretches so don't even use that excuse because it's not hot like just say what it is, I can't explain myself!)

- Nerd writes what appears to be inappropriate things at what appears to be his work environment

- "Femboy shoto now in my mouth please", not spelled that way.

- Refrainbow either makes a bad joke, or does not appear to know what a moodboard is.

- Just an image of Nerd eating pizza, while the bear on his shirt is in kink gear, and it is allegedly a cropped version of a worse version

- Refrainbow masked face reveal, and drawing. They do not look like Goth, but they're also trans.

- "No bitches? ;(" with Nerd crying.

- Yeah, Boyfriends have been memed by them, and such

- They're giving Goth a tattoo, sometime

- Yes, Jock has a confirmed cow kink

- Please prove that they do not have cat kinks

- Jock with facial hair ... ugly

- I could be 100, and I'd still be too young for Nerd being dressed up sexually and wanting to "feed on" Goth to "show him THE experience" just because Goth doesn't have sex but draws hentai for a living

- Boyfriends had at some point, 20000000 subs on Webtoon 

- Style swap meme

- Goth and other trans character being mad, LMAO

- "No bussy?" - Nerd

- Also, Boyfriends ain't the only thing that is getting these things, just most often. 

- Nerd is trans. 

Just fyi, more Boyfriends book exists, not researching into it

It's basically just the entire thing, in several parts, but as a book, and also separately there appears to be a tutorial book on how to draw the characters (which, realistically, wouldn't have Purple Hoodie Guy in them either). The only Purple Hoodie Guy content guaranteed, is the book version of his non-new appearance. 

Also, yes, am still a slanderer, and should probably start up some content, especially since it used to help that amount on my mental health, at stuff that I now need help for more than before. 

Boyfriends slanderer mood playlist/good songs to slander the Boyfriends Webtoon to

Typisk Norsk: youtu.be/ZDM11qUkr-w?si=Gew758iQmoP9CkO2

 Surveillance (Cruella movie): youtu.be/Tg6qZTyt80U?si=zjPOPinQPhcQ11IH

IDGAF (that She-hulk series song): youtu.be/eUud75tivA0?si=ExSY7UJ40zb43Ej4

Bubblegum Bitch: youtu.be/E7AuHPmvRWk?si=9GpgzZHAAN2I4eec

Cha Cha Cha, Eurovision 2023 (slowed),: youtu.be/lJPX7FF_bYQ?si=zqQFJvfmcTyhOzV8

Emotions Like: youtu.be/yfxTYELfGLg?si=esLtpBDQxFu9AiuO

Best and worst fidgets, for when you're watching Boyfriends Slander content

Best:

This big tangle-function-like fidget toy I have is great, because it's in such good volume in comparison to me hearing the Boyfriends slander, but it can be noisy if one makes it. It's also good for glancing at or whatever, and keeps my hand that isn't holding my phone, occupied. 

A bike chain/flippy chain is a portable and aestehtically good way to have something for your hands/hand while watching the slander. It can be great as something to ignore and keep you focused, and/or to glance at. 

Soft pop-its just exist, but they're good and I have no idea what else to say. 

I guess this is a big pop-it, but it's loud and satisfying, just like Boyfriends slander, and looks good, and you can even hit things. 

Worst:

Pea-poppers are just hard to use when you're watching something like Boyfriends slander, or are already frustrated, so I would NOT recommend. 

Puppycups are too boring, frustrating, distracting, and REALLY don't fit the mood, save yours for later. 

A stressball, would NOT fit the mood either. 

DNA stressballs aren't good for this either, but I forgot why they're bad for this. 

This thing I have, to look at, with little bubbles inside, is just too boring and not stimulating enough when it comes to literal fricking Boyfriends Webtoon slander. 

Mochis are too distracting, too small, too annoying - just not good for this. Don't use mochis for this. 

A pop-it spinner has too much going on, and can't ACTUALLY be used with one hand, plus, it's just frustrating in this case. 

Small pop-tubes seem too fragile and boring. 

There's a Boyfriends Webtoon coloring book.

Source and photo: https://www.tumblr.com/flurry-bace/760465262830108672/what?source=share .

[i-guess-its-amafico-now]

If things made sense (or I cared for the wrong things)

There would have been no "really evil classic Disney villains" in Wish. Simply because of the fact there were none. I knew nothing of this movie when I went to see it. I had seen a trailer but it was a really short one where I mostly learned that ok, a goat learns to talk, and it's meant to celebrate Disney 100, so y'know, a big deal. Should be great? Wrong.

There are multiple things wrong, under or over baked, and otherwise crooked in Wish, but in my opinion, one of the main issues is that they got me to care about the wrong things. For example, Asha's dad is a stranger the first time we hear about him, and Disney regardless of that tries to immediately use him to wring-out tears, and have Asha and Magnifico relate to one another at a point where the dad (Tomás, I had to google this) should already be an established thing in Asha's backstory. It is not, which makes the whole interview scene just go "ok, this is the scene where the characters can relate, makes sense, both people have lost things" but as the viewer it didn't affect me at all. It just gets the plot from point A to B. The Dad´s views and ideas were supposed to be a big deal that made Asha who she is and idk, explain the lore of the stars a bit? The quote is "The stars are there to guide us, to inspire us, to remind us to believe in possibility." But this does not come through at all. It just ok, meh, they relate, cute. The interview is going well I guess.

Asha's personality is also meh. It feels a bit like during entire movie there's too much shoved into her (I'll maybe make a post of this later). She is the quirky "adorkable" type like many other modern Disney heroines are nowadays. But the main points that she'd need to be to progress the story are that she cares for the people around her i.e. Rosas, she's a badass rebel if need be to protect them, and can be serious about it. She is a bit naive but that suits her, she is young. It could have made a great point for the "be careful what you wish for" thing I saw in one of the trailers after becoming obsessed pissed about Wish which would have been so cool and interesting as you know, the movie/Disney is supposed to be about wishes but nah that's too interesting. You just add also the awkward quirkiness which is confusing and clashes with her other more important personality traits. You can have a multifaceted character but with Wish's writing, the dorkyness doesn't work and also it's mostly forgotten by the end. She just has to be another adorkable Disney heroine, because I don't know. Meh, fine. I don't really care. (But she's main character! Aren't we supposed to care?)

But what the movie did make me care about was Magnifico's backstory. We see more things from his tragic backstory which is told to us right in the damn introduction (not the main characters backstory, mind you, but the "villains"), then again from his mouth in the interview scene, where we see him still affected by it ("brave man, built a kingdom, still sad/paranoid, but does good, okay cool" were my thoughts), and it is hammered to our heads again and again, when Magnifico almost uses the book: "all I do is to make sure that never happens again", "A king must be prepared to do anything to protect his kingdom" and even in the shitty song: "to this book I don't wanna be tethered, but desperate times call for desperate measures". It is not what an evil tyrant who only cares for his subject's adoration and his power would say. A real classic Disney villain would have had the twist that HE was the one who destroyed his home, the book was just a scapegoat, and he'd be proud of it. He'd say things like "I'd do anything to protect what's mine" or something similar which to the villagers and audience at first sounds like he's talking about Rosas, when actually when his true colours are revealed you realise he was all along only talking about protecting his power, his fame, and status. The book would serve only as a power-up when shit-hits-the-fan and would ultimately be the villain's downfall when he gets trapped in the crystal he himself made. Dark magic comes with a great cost, be careful what you wish for (the wish being more power). But nah, that's far too coherent.

(Meanwhile, compared to all these possibilities the main heroine is again just adorkabl-y silly, had a dad (wow who would have thunk it, basic biology), who had some ideas about stars. 'Kay, still not that interested.)

But no. The twist that Magnifico was actually evil didn't come. Instead everything in the movie made it clear he was driven by his past trauma, and a genuine will to protect Rosas. He makes a mistake, when he is scared to the point that he's not thinking straight anymore, and goes for the Big Bad Book. At this point I thought (since I didn't know he was advertised as a "true" villain) that ok, even if all the things in this movie did not make sense, at least there'll be a nice take home message for the kids that you can make mistakes and those can be fixed together, and the adults will see the darker themes of PTSD that it can make you do scary things, but that those can be overcome. RIGHT?

FUCKING WRONG.

What?!? Did I? Just see? Yeah, the guy goes insane (but that's not him, but the book), Disney Magic saves the day, the song kinda sounded nice, and then wtf? Uhh, guys? Did you forget something? The moral of the story is that you can do anything when you just keep on wishing and working towards your dreams, You're a Star!, but then you don't save the king? Even though there's the classic tease that "oh no, the book's spell can't be broken!" which obviously means it can be if someone had tried. The whole movie I've been mostly lukewarm about the main character, I hate the goat, and then the only guy I've been given the. Most. REASON AND OPPORTUNITY to care about is just locked up for apparently shits and giggles. Magnifico gets the punishment of an evil tyrant, and even his wife (who totally could have saved him) comes to rub it in his face! Yes, the wish system was flawed but even Magnifico himself clearly sees this (more on this to come, but 1. people only want wishes from him and he knows this 2. he knows wishes are important, quote: "they are a part of your heart!" and that's why he makes people forget them, because in his traumatised mind it's more important to have them safe, than potentially harmed by a bad wish etc.) and he doesn't deserve a presumed eternity in a glass mirror.

#magnifico_deserved_therapy_not_prison

For fucks sake. They lived happily ever after, except Magnifico because idk, fuck the traumatised guy in particular, I guess, even if he studied and made himself a powerful sorcerer despite of his fears, built a beautiful kingdom with his "loyal" wife, and yeah made a bit of a crooked wish system along the way which was bound to blow up in his face one day, but yeah, that's a good ending. Happy Disney 100 suckers, there's a movie, buy the merch, we don't care if it doesn't really make sense, lol!

I'm sad. Furious even. I was made to care for the wrong things, and now I'm disappointed.

[ladyculebras]

hello! i'm a big fan of your fics, and was wondering if you had any particular inspirations for you dexter/harrison fics, specifically 'carnivore incarnate'. it's so fascinating! also, forever hoping you'll write more for this fandom ❣

anon, this is incredibly flattering, and I really hope you're still around to read this response. I'm sorry it took me a while. I wanted to really be...comprehensive in my thoughts and this ended up pretty rambly. In some ways, this is an excuse for me to write about my process for my very rare pair, which is self-indulgent, but I hope it'll be of interest to some people at least.

Stoker and Raw are, in general, two inspirations for me that I keep in mind while writing Dexter/Harrison fic. Stoker, because the way I write Harrison, it's always a coming of age story vis-a-vis serial killing. For carnivore incarnate, I specifically drew on Raw for some of the visuals and violence. Both of those films are coming of age stories with incestous vibes and murder, and that's the vibe I want for my fic.

As far as carnivore incarnate goes, well, there's the quote the title is from, which is the Angela Carter's The Bloody Chamber, a short story collection; the quote is specifically from The Company of Wolves in it; but I wasn't really drawing on the short story in particular, I just like the quote a lot and I kept hearing it in my head while writing it.

In terms of the vampire mythology, I made it up xD There's absolutely shades of Being Human UK (blood drinking as addiction, daywalking vampires) and The Lost Boys (half-vampirism) and even a bit of The Coldest Girl in Coldtown (not-fully transitioned vampires drinking vampire blood), but I constructed the mythology based on what I needed to make the story work. I needed Dexter to walk in daylight, or else he doesn't work as a Miami blood-spatter analysis, so I decided daylight doesn't have an effect, or it has minimal effect. I needed Dexter to age, so he looks Dad-aged to Harrison, not like Season 1 era Dexter, so I decided blood keeps him young and if he doesn't drink, he'll age at a normal rate. I needed Harrison to be in some half-vampire state where he knows he is not Normal but plausibly think his issues are all psychological, and not that he's a vampire, so I decided he doesn't get his fangs until he makes a kill.

I am writing more for this fandom! The problem is, all my ideas are huge, so it takes forever for me to finish something, and I also get distracted by other projects, because I get easily frustrated if I spend too long on one thing. I sort of can't talk about what I'm currently writing, because it's for an exchange (hopefully) and I need to stay anonymous until I post it, but it should hopefully be done...in a month? I think it needs a month's more of work. I have multiple Dexter/Harrison ideas that I've already started, and I'm writing one Harrison/Brian idea that's about...30k at the moment, but again, slowest writer alive.

I am also really deeply inspired by music; I can write without it, but it always helps. If i'm a low mood, music can help pick me up and put me in a better mood for writing. Certain songs evoke the right feelings or emotions for a scene, or a character, or a specific event, and help me with the imagery or mood. This is the most self-indulgent thing but I make a playlist for most things I write. I don't have a specific carnivore incarnate playlist, but I do have a Dexter/Harrison playlist I made for you gave me my very first gun that I've just been adding to it as I write and turned into a catch-all Dexter/Harrison mix:

you gave me my very first gun

I also have these two other writing mixes that I use for writing Dexter/Harrison, or other Dexter-related or Dexter adjacent content:

monsters are always hungry

no blood for you will ever be enough

I've been listening to that third one a lot while writing. There's a lot of overlap between mixes, and I guess if I had to pick 5 songs that inspire my Dexter/Harrison feelings for writing, I'd go with

patron saint hunter - timber timbre

evil - interpol

alligator blood - nicole dollanganger

glycerine - bush

you want it darker - leonard cohen (thank you, bones and all, for bringing this to my attention)

Thank you for asking! I'm glad you're enjoying the fics. There's such a small audience for this, so I really treasure any level of engagement I get <3

[pearlypairings]

annual writing self-evaluation

Thank you @justhere4thevibez for tagging! I woke up so early bc I'm still not adjusted well to the time difference on my vacation so I figure I could work on this to kill some time💕

1. List of works published this year (in no particular order):

Meet Me At Our Spot

Coffee and Contemplation *

Dear Donna,

painting (a masterpiece)

not a sound, but the wind

In the Shade of Aurelias *

all good dates begin at the cemetery

so much (for) stardust

there is a light that never goes out *

* = WIP

(I have a few more anon works too which were fun to try some new things with😄)

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

OH this is tough… I think I have to choose two. I'm so proud of not a sound, but the wind for many reasons. I tried a lot of new writing techniques within that story, which honestly the first images came to me at 2am fever dream of Chrissy with short hair and distraught pushing her way through the woods in a blizzard. I didn't know where the story was going but once I got started I had so much fun. And right now I'm also very proud of there is a light! It's my rarepair fic that I've fallen in love with for chrissy x jonathan and it's been a true delight to meet other people in the fandom from that fic alone!

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

Hmm I think painting (a masterpiece) is one that I would probably revisit to edit and change if given the option. I don't think it's terrible by any means, but it was really a self indulgent fic for me inspired by the song of the same name. I think I published it very quickly without letting it simmer for edits, so I would change some of the beats for pacing.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

From not a sound, but the wind

“Do you comfort all your crying customers?” She let her fingers graze his palm as she accepted his makeshift tissue with a sad smile.

“Only the ones I like.”

Chrissy dabbed her eyes, praying that none of the mascara smeared beyond recognition. “You’re not gonna sell me anything, are you?”

“Who said that? If there’s any time you need pot, it’s now!”

A small laugh shook her fragile frame, warmth spreading across her chest from within. She folded the bandana into a small square and tucked it into her pocket with a sheepish grin. The last of her tears iced over the corners of her eyes.

“Coming from my dealer, that sounds a little like a sales pitch.”

Eddie fell back, miming an arrow through his heart and rigorously pulling the invisible weapon out from his chest. “You wound me. How about half off and twice as much?”

5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:

ALL of my comments on there is a light are my favorites. People really enjoying my take on jonathan (a character that even I slept on and didn't really connect with until I saw things from his pov) and being really supportive of my WIP that's ending soon! It's really been such a joy to read all the lines each reader loved and the plot twists they had guessed right or wrong. It's been the best!

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

2023 was a……year. Yeah, I think the fall was very hard because of some family hospitalizations that were very scary and exhausting. So I didn't have the energy nor the will for quite a bit after that to write much. I'm hoping 2024 is all for good health and better headspace.

7. A scene or character that you wrote that surprised you:

At the risk of sounding really cheesy, I really loved the scene in not a sound when Chrissy and Eddie are about to kiss. The two chapters with back to back pov were so much fun to write bc we get little glimpses into both perspectives of the situation and how wrong they interpret the other person's reactions. It's so cute and I didn't intend to write an eddie pov chapter when I started that fic, it just happened (and we got more Wayne which is always a plus).

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I have a long way to go with this, but I think I'm finally shedding parts of my past where for work I had to write scientifically and directly. It's so hard for me to break that frame of mind, so I'm constantly going back in edits to add in more details and worldbuilding and mood setting beyond action and dialogue. In 2024, one of my goals is to do enough exercises where that flows more naturally in the drafting process.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

LOL oops! I sort of just answered that question, but another goal of mine is to continue to finish my beloved WIP Aurelias AND write a ton more for rarepairs to stretch my imagination.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Losty, @1lostsoul0fishbowl you are all of the above. So glad we found each other on this site and via Dear Donna,. It's been lovely getting to know you and I appreciate all the times you've read through drafts and ideas and insanity on my part. You da bomb diggitty 💣

11. Anything in your real life show up in your writing this year:

Definitely…. The break up in there is a light is loosely based on a real break up between me and my first high school boyfriend. The AUDACITY. But definitely many, many other little bits of dialogue or scene set ups are from moments in my life :) the life of a writer.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Write it down. WHEREVER you are (unless driving lol). Whatever the idea is, the dialogue you thought of, the plot puzzle piece. Just write it down somewhere on your phone, in a notebook etc. Because you will forget it and it will frustrate you lol.

13. Any new projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

2024 is when I'll be finishing Aurelias! Slow and steady because it's my baby and very setting/period heavy. And there's a few tricks up my sleeves for future fun projects that I'll be writing mostly for me (and maybe losty lol). AND I CAN'T WAIT! Rarepairs galore ✨

What a fabulous evaluation and deep look at the past year! Can't wait to see what 2024 brings 💞 happy new year!

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

Writeblr Interview Tag

Look at me, mom, I'm a writeblr.

I was tagged by @the-inkwell-variable thank you :D

I feel like I am (again? always?) running out of people to tag, and I don't wanna annoy anyone and this is pretty long, so open tag.

Short stories, novels, or poems?

Novels all the way.

What genre do you prefer reading?

Fantasy, murder mystery, romance—the latter only in certain circumstances like a very interesting character or setting. Without that, romance makes me run for the hills.

Are you a planner or a write as I go kind of person?

Yes.

What music do you listen to while writing?

Whatever my current playlist is, which could be a) instrumental soundtrack of something b) a playlist that might or might not be project related (it currently is) containing at least 50% power metal or c) pressing play in youtube for a fun adventure. I can listen to one and the same song for several weeks on repeat.

Favorite books/movies?

I don't really watch many movies. Can't even remember the last one, and there are none I return to with any kind of regularity. I guess The Outsider (2002) was pretty neat. I even made a music video with scenes from the movie and all that XD As for books, some are quite old like The Wind Witch by Susan Dexter, or the Death Gate Cycle by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman. Others are indies, like Once Stolen by D.N. Bryn or The Sorceress and the Incubus by Mallory Dunlin. My favorite murder mysteries are the Lindsay Chamberlain books by Beverly Connor, and Wolfsaga by Käthe Recheis is a (German) masterpiece.

Any current WIPs?

One active one, and one on hiatus. The active one is All of our Lives, currently at around 53k with hopes of finishing draft 1 at the end of the year. Suffering, recovery, revenge, happy end :D The other was supposed to strand Riordan in the wilderness, but it turns out, I can't divide my attention atm. Sorry, Riordan :/

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you what would your standard outfit be?

Knee-length summer dress over leggins and a long sleeved shirt, sandals with two differently colored socks, one matching the dress, the other the shirt, and glasses with a black frame. Also give me an ace ring, even if I'm not wearing it anymore atm.

Create a character description of yourself:

No lol

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?

Whole people, no. Freely taking names or small details from people I know? Absolutely.

Are you kill happy with your characters?

I kill all of the bad guys and none of the good guys.

Coffee or Tea while writing?

I don't really drink coffee, so.... 95% of the time it's tap water, though.

Slow or fast writer?

I guess in the grand scheme of things, it still counts as fast, even when I am unhappy with the speed.

Where/who/what do you draw inspiration from?

⭐ Everything ⭐

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?

Dead lol

Most fav book cliche:

I'm not really sure if that's a cliche or what, but unexpected kindness. Nothing has me sobbing like a character being kind and accepting when no one else (especially those much closer to them) was before. Aaaand we don't think too hard about why that is, let's move on ->

Least favorite cliche:

Oh! *opens draft again 2 seconds before posting and replaces what I had written before* The redeemed bad guy who gets killed off. Letting us get to know them, showing their tragic past and their love for kitties or whatever, and bam, a chapter later, dead, self-sacrifice for the noble hero. Fuck that.

Favorite scene to write?

Funnily enough, torture ranks pretty low, and recovery not much higher. There's always so much at stake and I take forever getting the words down and I keep forgetting injuries and wait which finger did I cut off? Most fun is just writing a happy little scene where the characters hang out and suddenly tell me things about themselves I didn't know yet, and uh, sometimes there's also happy little accidents.

Reason for writing?

If I don't do it, who else will?

[n7punk]

“Children of the Crystal” Fic Notes Season Two

Children of the Crystal is “officially” done! I still might go back and add short (non-plot) fics set in this verse further down the line, but the story is all wrapped up at a monster 14 (15) fics.

I split the fic notes into two “seasons” just because there’s a lot to cover, so the other post has notes for the first 6 fics. This one has the playlist, the notes for the rest of the fics, and discussion of the original outline/plan. This fic series doesn’t get an “epilogue” section because I’m keeping all those ideas in my back pocket in case I end up doing fics on them.

Playlist:

Haha so. This series had a playlist that was originally like seven songs long. Then I couldn’t sleep one day, and suddenly this story had a plot(??) and the playlist exploded. I’ll cover the plot thing later, but here’s the finished playlist (I also listened to my canon Catra, Adora, and Catradora playlists while writing this).

Just Friends — Morgan Saint

Illusion — Carlie Hanson

WASTE OF CONFETTI — Meg Myers

S.T.A.R. — Mothica

hallelujah — Bea Miller

For God’s Sake — Morgan Saint

Highlights — Mothica

Crazy Bitch — Sizzy Rocket feat. Mothica

feel like shit — Tate McRae

Once More, With Feeling! — XANA

Battle demo [not released to the public. Listen, the vibe is “I don’t want to fight you, but if that’s what you’re going to do, then let’s go”]

Jealousy — Pale Waves

i did this all for you! — XANA

Two Sides — Ari Hicks (this one is for Light Hope, because I think I’m funny)

I Don’t Believe In Anything — Deathbyromy (THIS IS SUCH AN ADORA SONG OK)

I’m Trying (Not Friends) — Maisie Peters (aka the fic 13 song)

Only Love [Acoustic] — PVRIS

General Notes:

⦁ For the ease of future rereads, the big plot heavy-hitter fics are (generally) every other fic: 1, 3, 5, maybe 7, 8, 10, 12, maybe 13, and 14. I was intentionally spacing them out (as best I could) so there would be a plot beat, then something that fleshed out the universe/characters, then another plot beat, but that wasn’t always the best thing for the series so there’s exceptions.

⦁ Several of the fic titles from this series are inspired/from lyrics from a couple of songs. They are as follows: The “Crystal Kingdom” song from The Adventure Zone led to the fic titles “Beckoning to Break the Seal,” “Locked in a Cage of Glass and Steel,” and “This Is Where Separation Ends.” I listened to that way back in the day and that song stuck with me for some reason. I thought about it again after naming the fic Children of the Crystal cuz. you know. Crystal. i did this all for you! by XANA is the origin of “Carve Your Name in My Bones.” Full lyric: [in my brain] I love what you’ve done with the place/really made it your own/carved your name in my bones. “I’d Die Just to Be Someone” is a lyric from Crazy Bitch by Sizzy Rocket (feat. Mothica). (Side note: can anyone tell me if Sizzy Rocket is a terf? One of the people she has a feature track with has a sus line) The fic and chapter titles of “One of Us Has to Keep a Promise” come from I’m Trying (Not Friends) by Maisie Peters. These are the only chapter titles in the entire series not in title case. More info on songs and lyrics later >.> Finally, “Once More, With Feeling” is a XANA song (on the playlist, too) that’s actually not happy but the title was a great fit for them returning home and falling back into their relationship with a lot more peace and happiness between them.

Locked in a Cage of Glass and Steel

Chapter 1:

⦁ God the ENTIRE series was leading up to this fic. I wrote it all in one sitting. Actually, I wrote the final chapter of Halls That Make a Home, all of this fic, and all but the last two scenes of Carve Your Name in My Bones in the same day. I wrote 12.7k words that day, my highest single-day word count ever (my previous being 12.1k, which was insane and not at all usual. My average word count is 2k a day).

⦁ I guess I leave it a little ambiguous (mostly because other people lie about it), but what happened with Entrapta was that Scorpia had bonded HARD with her, so when Shadow Weaver attacked Entrapta to stop her from trying to free the captured princesses, Scorpia turned on the Horde. She can’t exactly feel for a pulse with her pincers, though, and she thought Entrapta was dead. She then freed the rest of the princesses, and when they went to recover the sword, Shadow Weaver had roused to tell Hordak that Scorpia took the side of the princesses, bonded with the garnet, and killed Entrapta in the process. He didn’t believe her, but then Scorpia showed up leading the charge of princesses into his sanctum, crackling with electricity. So he pulled the lever.

Chapter 2:

⦁ I talked about this a little in the first author’s note, but figuring out the set-up of the portal is… interesting. I think the wider fandom has kind of agreed it has something to do with who pulls the lever? Like the portal was built around Catra’s wishes? Which makes sense, IG, but it could easily be a collective thing, or just a weird mindfuck, or Adora could have some control over it too because it’s her sword powering it. Personally I think it’s a mix of all of that, but for this fic I went with the idea that it’s the person who pulls the lever, because in canon I find the angst of Catra’s “perfect world” being one where Catra is still just “second best” but it doesn’t matter to her anymore because Adora is there absolutely delicious.

⦁ In the show, the Portal was kind of “an easy sell” because Adora did know a life in the Horde, and all the Bright Moon stuff was just a recent divergence. Everybody was pretty much “with their own” in the portal, Bow in Bright Moon, Catra and Adora in the Horde, etc. In this portal, a bunch of the princesses were locked up in the Fright Zone (because they… were in the Fright Zone IRL when it was set off) and Catra and Adora found themselves transposed into this foreign world so everything would be simple for Hordak and his greatest nemesis were now working for them. The portal bridged that gap by co-opting their memories. Instead of running and playing in the woods, they were fighting rebels in them. They remembered how fighting felt from when they would fight the Horde, but when they were actually forced to fight rebels in the portal, it all felt completely wrong. The other way the portal tried to form its perfect world was by giving Adora what she always wanted: freedom from duty. She wasn’t She-ra and there was no magic destiny to weigh down on her shoulders. As much as she will deny it and doesn’t even believe it, that’s what she wants. She wants to just be able to live her life and be useful, yes, but not have the weight of the planet on her.

Chapter 3:

⦁ Before I even started posting this series, I posted “sorry” because I had just outlined this wallowing scene and Catra deciding to go to the Horde. Obviously I’ve written breakups, self-loathing, etc in the past, but I felt like I was really lulling y’all into a false sense of security with this AU. It doubly applied since I had already outlined the AU’s end, too.

⦁ Because that was such an early outline, though, in that outline scene Catra discovered for the first time that Light Hope could appear in the room they thought was private. I ended up including that earlier in the series, because it’s not much of a reveal if you don’t already know that she’s not supposed to be able to do that and I thought her having the realization when they weren’t together yet but had said some Things in the privacy of the room worked better.

⦁ Btw, Light Hope did “usually” try to leave them alone in the room, especially when they were kids and her overwrite instructions hadn’t been fully installed by a reset, but she absolutely was intending to lie to them when she said she couldn’t listen to that room. It was not a misunderstanding. Those happened sometimes, but a lot of “misunderstandings” were intentional.

⦁ I considered giving Catra a breakdown haircut in this because those are fun, and by “considered” I mean I did and then I read the scene I just wrote and went. This is scary. Like I actually felt I couldn’t include it without a significant trigger warning and what the hell even is that trigger aside from Bitch Not Well so I cut it.

⦁ I had a whole freak out with the end of this fic and whether or not it made sense. Basically, I wrote the first scene of On Stumbling Feet way before this. A consequence of that (and how long-held my headcanon for Halfmoon is) is that I just completely fucking forgot whether Halfmoon running under the Fright Zone was established. I tried to put in more hints to it in the scene itself (stuff like the mentions of their last entrance being patched up) and went back to the fic where Catra calls herself the last of the magicats to edit in more context for future reads, only to find I already outright said there that Halfmoon was near the Fright Zone. I edited the wording slightly to make it more clear it was under, but I mostly panicked for nothing.

Carve Your Name in My Bones [one shot]

⦁ I’ve talked a couple of times about this AU being where I was able to finally put my backstory headcanons for them, but they did have to be tweaked to accommodate the story. For Catra, I imagine she was just scooped off Halfmoon’s street at a battle like this and brought back to the Fright Zone. Halfmoon being the mine beneath the Fright Zone is my headcanon, but not it being connected to the Crystal Castle or anything. I did that mostly to get around 1) Light Hope would have had the foyer door locked when Adora was that age so she couldn’t get out at all to help Catra if there wasn’t another way since that blocks off the override too and 2) to force Catra back through castle when leaving the Fright Zone. The original outline called for her trying to “confront” Light Hope, which I feel would be justified considering she had emotional ties to her just like Adora in this AU, but it would be pretty dangerous and a little stupid, so making it just be something she was forced to do made more sense.

⦁ Rescuing Catra was the first time Adora had left the castle since she was a baby. Feeling the surface of the rock was really shocking to her after being used to the perfectly smooth surfaces of the castle, only broken up by the texture of her bed and clothes. Everything else is metal or crystal. Catra introduces something as simple as touch to her life, that’s how incredibly isolated she was.

⦁ Catra’s parents in this are the same ones I made up for her in TTFT, Leona and Felina. Only one of them is actually her biological parent (magic inception, common for gay couples on Etheria) so Leona has Catra’s heterochromia this time to pass it down.

I’d Die Just to Be Someone

Chapter 1:

⦁ Shadow Weaver was willing to believe Catra’s story pretty easily given she defected to the Horde for similarly petty reasons, but willing is different from believing and she knew there was a chance it was a ploy, or she could be flipped again, which is why she went in hard on her immediately. Shadow Weaver was also dying and losing her shit anyway.

⦁ Hordak growling and Catra commenting (internally) on it was because he’s an alien clone and like, reminiscent of an elf, sure, but actually has his own rules to play by.

⦁ The story Shadow Weaver told Hordak was that Scorpia turned on them and let the princesses in because she wanted to take her powers, and when she did she electrocuted Entrapta (it was implied to not be an accident). It’s kind of a ridiculous sell if you know anything about Scorpia, but Hordak barely knew her name, and when he saw her using lightning powers and fighting alongside the princesses, it checked out, especially with her leaving afterwards.

⦁ Shadow Weaver was desperately trying to either 1) break Scorpia’s connection with the Garnet so she could begin using it again or 2) find a way to siphon energy off of it with Scorpia still connected to it. If Catra hadn’t shown up, she probably would have gathered herself up after her collapse and tried to slip away to Rebellion and trade “insider intel” in exchange for healing, but with Catra calling a medic, and them taking her under observation, she never had a chance. And… yeah, she wasn’t looking good and we don’t see her again. Read into that! (If you are interested, though, her story would have been that she worked with the Horde out of fear for her life as she needed the Black Garnet to live, trying to gain an ounce of sympathy, and then she would have tried to trade Entrapta’s location for healing. To them she would have said Hordak sent Entrapta to Beast Island when he heard of her treachery.)

⦁ Grizzlor gets to take over Shadow Weaver’s job because in the original show he was the… warden? Boss? BGIC? of the Beast Island prison. It was either him, Octavia, or Lonnie in this version, but I didn’t have room to throw in Lonnie being promoted to Force Captain in Scorpia’s place (though it definitely happened) and it feels like Octavia isn’t very respected considering the eye thing and that she still sleeps with the cadets.

Chapter 2:

⦁ When Catra mentions trying to line up to whisper in Adora’s ear during the fight, I wanted to leave it ambiguous if she was trying to gloat, but she was actually looking for any opening to tell the Princess Alliance that Entrapta was alive. She was always on missions with other people and the least trusted person on the squad, though, so she couldn’t even try to work it into a “taunt” to pass off because it wasn’t common knowledge and would give away that she was sneaking around.

⦁ Catra’s recognition of the hex-sided screwdriver is because she did spend enough — friendly — time around Entrapta in this universe to pick that kind of thing up.

⦁ When Catra says she “hasn’t managed to do anything about” the transport log, she means both that she hasn’t figured out where Entrapta was sent and she hasn’t managed to tell the Alliance she was live at all.

Chapter 3: Interlude

⦁ This wasn’t supposed to be here but I was thinking about how Adora must be feeling and then I was like maybe I have to write a one shot about this…. So I just stuck it in as an interlude.

⦁ Let’s! Talk! About! The Alliance! Okay, so like, Catra is right, they really should have known better that she wouldn’t go join up with the people who just murdered her friend and kinda-pseudo parental figure, but there’s a reason they “accepted” her defection. First of all, they were already annoyed with her for disappearing (though everyone was equally, if not more, annoyed with Adora for being a fucking idiot). Being mad at someone makes it a lot easier to believe the worst of them. Second, they had already experienced Entrapta’s defection, which was feeling more and more like a true defection as Scorpia told stories about her in the Horde, even though it was a kind of halfway thing for her. Third, Adora and Catra were really codependent, like ridiculously unhealthily so, but it had never been something they needed to work on when Catra and Adora were “doing fine” and there was a war on. When Adora broke her heart, it was possible Catra totally snapped because neither of them knew how to be a person — or even what a person really was — without each other. Four, several of them had picked up the vibe that Catra had some bitterness over Adora’s magic destiny from comments she made over time. And like, they weren’t wrong, that is what spurred her to go to the Horde, she just wasn’t joining them. And then five, of course: they were fighting her and watching her not respond to their attempts to talk. No matter what you believe, when you have enough evidence in front of you, eventually you have to give. None of that should erase the fact they knew Catra was a good person, and especially that she should want to destroy the Horde more than ever at that moment rather than joining up since they had just killed her friend, but just like they shouldn’t be too mad at her, Catra can’t be too mad at them when she didn’t tell anyone. Them believing someone they know is a good person would do Very Bad Things is kind of a commentary on how sometimes they struggle to be good friends, like how they get annoyed with Entrapta and both sides have to learn how to accommodate each other in the show.

⦁ Adora not walking all the way into the entry and leaving immediately kind of saved the planet here. With her first visit, it was quick and she got further into the castle, but Light Hope was willing to wait until a second visit before she went as drastic as locking her in, because it was going to be pretty hard to talk her into setting the Heart off at that point. This time, Adora didn’t get past the large door that could seal the main chamber from the entry walkway (the door that was closed when she and Catra were little, and that Catra squeezed through in The Start of a Legend). Light Hope technically could override the outside door, but she wasn’t prepared to do that, especially when she couldn’t do anything about the override door Adora could easily slip through. Honestly, she anticipated Adora’s breakdown taking longer and being able to use her fragile emotional state to manipulate her, but instead Adora fucking booked it away from the terrible memories and guilt.

⦁ It wasn’t fair, but one of the reason’s Glimmer was mad at Adora was for everything Catra did while defecting. They were friends, after all, and Adora breaking up with her is what drove her away, so even though Glimmer was already mad at Adora for the shitty breakup, she was also mad at them both for every shitty thing Catra did while defected because they shared the blame to her. It was more aimed at Catra since she was the one, you know, doing it, but Glimmer has a proxy-blaming problem (see: her partially blaming Adora for her mom’s death) so she was mad at them both.

Chapter 4:

⦁ Shadow Weaver “limping off to die” was actually her trying to sneak off to the Rebellion for survival.

⦁ The dent on Emily’s hull is this-universe’s version of the scratches. Emily tried to go into Hordak’s lab trying to find Entrapta after she “died” and Hordak grew enraged at the sight of her as a reminder. He threw the closest object at her and made the dent. She skittered away still not knowing what happened to Entrapta, but she picked it up soon after.

⦁ Emily has seen Catra before, back in that single battle where Entrapta got captured, but she’s dressed differently and on the other side, and it was possible there were multiple people named Catra, so she wanted to “verify” by showing Catra the projection.

⦁ I (Catra) shifted over the course of the chapter from calling Emily “it” to “she” to show how Catra was bonding with her. Using feminine pronouns for her did make it more confusing (which “she” is this she referring to, etc), but Catra really needed something to latch onto, so anthropomorphizing Emily hit hard.

⦁ I fucked up here. I came up with a cool idea literally the day after posting the chapter. Catra should have tried to take some of the files on the Heart so the Horde doesn’t find them, get caught sneaking out, and have to choose between keeping them or helping Emily to safety. She would choose Emily, ensuring the files fell into Horde hands and leaving her certain that Hordak — and thus Horde Prime — knows about the Heart when he arrives. Unfortunately, I only came up with that while writing fic 13. It’s a causality of posting as you write, even though I was ahead.

On Stumbling Feet (Find Your Home) [one shot]

⦁ Because this fic takes place before the last few, Catra is still under the mistaken impression that fire played a big part in Halfmoon’s downfall. The problem with this series is a lot of people are lying or just straight up wrong and so they contradict each other or even themselves a lot and I worry it looks sloppy when it’s intentional, just kind of misleading. I actually wrote the Halfmoon report scene before I even wrote the get together fic and wasn’t sure where I was going to stick it but had the idea for a “catch all” snippets fic possibly in the future.

⦁ Adora’s language around “manifesting” is because it’s one of those words/concepts that are new to her, since that scene is set fairly early on, like a few months in.

⦁ Adora saying “She’s going to need to hold onto these moments for the future.” just really goes to show that she can’t even let herself have good moments purely for the sake of them, but rather has to categorize how they could be useful to justify them. This girl needs therapy so bad.

⦁ The make out scene basically exists to tease Adora’s access to her powers without the sword. Obviously, canon shows her powers predate the sword, but with her runestone trapped. Originally the idea was that it would be a little one shot, but then it was brief enough of an idea to use in something like this. I ended up giving a “preview” to this kind of thing with her glowing eyes in the library fic, but she still had the sword (literally) on her then, so this showed that “disconnect” for the first time. Otherwise, this fic would be the kind of filler/fluff I would stick at the end of the series as “not part of the plot arc,” but that particular scene needed to be read before fic 14, so it ended up in the main arc. A little fluff was also desperately needed here.

⦁ The make out predates the scene in the library with her eyes glowing, but Adora still called that new because it had never been tied to anger before, and she didn’t fully understood what her eyes were doing in this scene. What she caught in the mirror was just them being extra blue.

A Thousand Years in the Making

Chapter 1:

⦁ The “true colors” in the fic description do refer to how Light Hope turns on them, but also to how she really does love them and wants to protect them from her own programming.

⦁ “The failsafe would kill the user” and Catra’s resulting “Wait.” reaction were actually because Light Hope was — in the only way she could — trying to help. She was informing Catra both of the risks and that it would work by explicitly not saying that it wouldn’t, since that’s the most logical way to dissuade its use.

Chapter 2:

⦁ The language Adora uses to describe the moving of Etheria in the library fic was carefully chosen to conflict but in a believable way with what Light Hope says here. Adora says “Mara made Light Hope move the planet,” which is what her impression of the situation was, in the sense that Mara ordered it, but what Light Hope actually says here was that Mara forced her hand and made her move the planet for everyone’s safety. Of course, that’s a total lie and Mara moved the planet without Light Hope’s consent, but it was part of the narrative needed to reach Light Hope’s goal of getting Etheria back where it should be so they can set the bomb off.

⦁ In the show what (kinda) breaks through to Light Hope is Adora mentioning Mara, which is a really cool moment I fucking love and was sad to strip away, but in this one it just made more sense for Adora to use their own bond since they had a deep one and she never discovered a lot about Mara without the signal tower.

Chapter 3:

⦁ This was the one and only time that Catra ever referred to Light Hope in a maternal way. She doesn’t really see her like that but she also… doesn’t… not see her like that, you know? Light Hope was her guardian, not her mom, but especially with the wound of Glimmer losing her mom recently, that’s what spilled out.

One of Us Has to Keep a Promise

Chapter 1:

⦁ I vagueposted lyrics from the song “I’m Trying (Not Friends)” when I was thinking obsessively about Catra’s “betrayal” twist and then untwist. The chorus really works for the clusterfuck that their relationship becomes and those two lyrics in particular were feeding my brainrot so hard I could not shut up. The urge to drop songs on the playlist that were massive spoilers and hinted at what was to come was so hard to fight. At one point I almost just posted “CotC spoilers: there’s XANA on the fic playlist” because like. if you know XANA’s music that is a spoiler. She has very few happy or wholesome songs. Most of them are breakup songs or intense shit that still implies a hot and heavy relationship like Catra and Adora don’t appear to have in this series. I was going absolutely nuts keeping all this to myself and knowing for about 7~ fics everything was going to look Fine and then it was getting insane. I then vagueposted again with lyrics from “Crazy Bitch” later thinking about Catra’s “betrayal” because this fic had a vice grip on my brain. For a while I was writing like 4-6k every other day with 1-2k in between and it still wasn’t enough to get it out.

Chapter 2:

⦁ The reason Prime hit the surface so hard and then pulled back was because he was planning on wiping out the planet and all its residents completely to cover up Hordak’s messy rebellion (as he says in the show before Catra interrupts his plan by telling him about the Heart, so he’ll spare Etheria), but he pulled back as speculated when he became aware of the Heart and its potential uses.

⦁ The position they’re sitting in while discussing their relationship in Catra’s tent is a mirror of the one they sat in while listening to music right after they came together as kids back in Carve Your Name in My Bones.

⦁ “She wants to ask Adora if she’s sure she loved her the way that Catra loved her, but while she can walk into the Horde ready to face any danger, she’s still a fucking coward when it comes to things that matter.” Yeah so Catra is saying her life matters less to her than whether or not Adora loved her here. Which is totally healthy and normal and she for sure doesn’t need therapy.

⦁ Catra eating the bread instead of throwing it back like she normally would have done is a result of both her imprisonment and her few weeks on the run/digging through Halfmoon. She’s also aware they’re running on rations and would probably be more conscientious even if she wasn’t painfully aware how important real food is at the moment.

Chapter 3:

⦁ Glimmer is basically bribing/guilting them BOTH to stay in camp using each other, because really they both need to recover, and everybody needs to fall into sync again before going out in the field together.

This is What Separation Ends

Chapter 1:

⦁ The title here has so many different implications. As I said earlier, it’s a lyric from Crystal Kingdom, but it pulls triple duty. It’s “separation” (being broken up) ending between Adora and Catra, it’s separation between Adora and She-ra ending with the breaking of the sword, and it’s separation between wider worlds ending as Horde Prime is defeated and they’re all finally free.

⦁ This first chapter was actually all stuff that was supposed to happen in One of Us Has to Keep a Promise. Then I was just… too into the whole breakup/deflection/come back together concept and the fic ended up expanding a lot from the initial concept of “quick slice of awkwardness with them on the same side again now it’s all hands on deck fighting the Horde” (exact quote from my outline doc). Yeah more was needed by the time we got there and I wanted to write more anyway lol.

⦁ Their time going back to be alone in the tent… Man, even I don’t know what they did in there LOL. I will say I did consider having them have an implied “end of the world, plus weeks of tension with their relationship” hook up, but them just cuddling and being needy also makes sense. Making out like they did in the last fic makes sense. They definitely kissed at least once in that tent, but the rest I wouldn’t be able to say definitively without actually writing it and feeling it out.

⦁ Okay, in Castaspella’s defense, Catra was very convincing, and Casta let Shadow Weaver of all people lead her off alone without telling anyone so I think this is in character for her lol. Catra basically went “yep, Adora was 100% dead and She-ra brought her back to life in the Heart, so she can heal someone else when they use the failsafe, but we don’t know if the failsafe will destroy She-ra if she did it herself, and we can’t risk that.” In this verse, they’re very aware that only a First One can be She-ra and they’re fucked without Adora. That, combined with some guilt-tripping and the valid point that they need a tiny strike team if they’re going to have any chance of infiltrating Mystacor (and that either Castaspella or Micah has to be on said team if they’re going to have a chance), convinced Castaspella to go. Catra said she would leave the message with Emily to deliver a few hours after they left to ensure they got in and out before the Alliance could catch up and ruin the plan by immediately getting caught (because let’s be real, that’s what would happen). The Mystacor infiltration was way more high stakes with a lot higher chance of failure without Melog by their side to camouflage them, so this was riiiiisky, but they didn’t have a lot of options.

Chapter 2:

⦁ Adora’s powers didn’t exactly get an upgrade post-alignment, but her perception of She-ra did, and that allowed her tap deeper into her, which is what led to stuff like the shooting blast, especially on complete accident.

⦁ So I did (briefly) consider having Catra get chipped here and Prime commanding her to walk off the cliff instead of the stabbing. TBH, I just wanted to do my own thing without retreading so much ground from the show (which was kind of my whole philosophy when it came to this AU) and there wasn’t much point to it anyway since Catra would be chipped and unchipped within hours. It seemed far more logical to me that Prime would just kill her, keeping her alive only long enough to utilize her to get the sword. He wasn’t going to risk keeping the failsafe (Catra) alive long enough to really go through her memories, so chipping her didn’t have much use, and leaving her unchipped seemed like more effective blackmail (because who would want back their loved one when they know they’re indoctrinated? Somebody who understands love, you idiot).

⦁ In the initial outline of this chapter that I did a month and a half ago (lol), Prime didn’t stab her, instead just throwing her off the cliff. But. I mean. The drama. I had to go with stabbing. The fact he was doing it with Adora’s sword, which is supposed to be the home to a goddess of healing and protection but has been perverted and turned into a destructive weapon waiting to end the world, was just too poetic.

⦁ Okay okay okay. The sword-shattering thing. I have written that into two AUs now. The first one was an idea I came up with in October 2020 and was definitely destined to just be one of those “talk about it with your friends in Discord and never actually write” AUs, and then again into… well one that didn’t end up happening. Then this AU came around and I realized I could finally use the idea. In each iteration of it, the circumstance was entirely different and the reason why the sword had to break was a little different too (Adora needing healing beyond the sword’s capabilities and She-ra’s power surging into her; being too far away from it to save the world; and needing to heal Catra leading to agony surging her power past the sword’s breaking point), so it always felt fresh and exciting while also being something that I was excited to finally incorporate because the drama. I was refreshing my inbox all day after posting this chapter because I love the end of it so much and I wanted to see people’s reactions.

⦁ Okay but what are the mechanics of it, I hear you not asking. Well, I’ll tell you. So one, my headcanon is that the sword was forged using the Heart for realsies, not just in this AU. Like I said, I was able to shove a lot of my headcanons into this AU because it was actually reasonable for them to have discovered that stuff in this ‘verse. Anyway, She-ra’s runestone was as old as the other runestones and used to work like them too where she just had to be magically connected to it, not physically, to use her powers, but it was placed in the sword’s hilt so the sword could “impose order” on She-ra. Basically, the Sword of Protection was supposed to keep her locked as a First One and give her a “weakness” in the form of making her tied to a physical object. If She-ra becomes a problem, just take the sword away and she’s gone. The sword is old, though, and She-ra’s magic is very powerful. Adora has been in a lot of tight spots before, but none of them as devastating as this, and her connection with She-ra is strong now. If Catra had died the same day that Adora got the sword, it probably wouldn’t have worked like this, but between knowing the sword is just an object now and the strength of her powers, she could reach for She-ra’s runestone even with it locked inside the sword. When she grabbed that connection is when the magic started manifesting around her, but she still couldn’t transform with the sword around it despite trying and trying. So She-ra broke the lock.

⦁ Oh yeah, what actually happened when Adora was going a little insane. As soon as Catra fell, her friends started fighting and the clones that had parted for Adora rushed her. They made the mistake of trying to hold her down and pull her away from Catra, though. That’s when her eyes started glowing. As she internally spiraled and fought against the hands, she started to glow, and the power began to swirl around her. Pretty quickly, some clones were forced to let go, and others were knocked away. The remaining ones were knocked flat when she went full power-aura a la Save The Cat, and then she screamed, it did actually cause a minor local earthquake, and then she transformed.

Chapter 3:

⦁ Remember She-ra’s earthquake powers? Because Adora certainly doesn’t seem to with how little she uses them in the show LOL. Okay, but that feeds into my “full power She-ra” thing. In episode two where Adora does that, she’s kind of… overtaken by the avatar of She-ra. She’s almost mechanical in movement, she’s absolutely glowing with power like a beacon… you know, the stuff she was doing here. She-ra definitely has a deeper power that Adora can tap into at times, and that’s what she did here when she broke the sword. Prime was dealing with She-ra like he had never seen her before and the world had never seen her since before Mara.

⦁ In the initial version of this, Etheria started surging up to meet her and those cracks in the earth started pouring magic, but I changed it because that’s more related to my post-Heart headcanons then pre-Heart and I just don’t think it would work like that.

⦁ The outline of this scene included Adora bringing Catra up to the top of the cliff and then putting her down to fight Prime, but that was… a bad idea, so I had Adora put her down on the ground. I considered having the grass grow under Catra as a part of She-ra’s “life” powers (another headcanon), but that felt too close to Perfuma’s powers, and Perfuma was literally there, so I just had Perfuma do it and she made the protective tangle while she was at it.

⦁ I’m not entirely sure that the ending I wrote here is possible. Let me explain. My interpretation of Prime’s hivemind and body jumping is that he basically can’t be killed because, like Corypheas (to everybody who just cringed internally, I salute you, we did time in the trenches together), he always moves to the next body when his current one is damaged. Thus, you have to disable the entire hivemind before you can trap his current body and kill him off in that. That means that in this canon, Adora can’t kill him off yet because she hasn’t yet destroyed the mothership, but I went with the logic that once she has started that… magic purge thing she does, he can’t move, and without him in the system imposing order on it, the hivemind becomes a thousand discordant voices that don’t even know how to speak on their own, essentially debilitating them until the mothership is destroyed and they all become individuals. The clones do calm down, but right now they can barely think and are prone to lashing out.

⦁ I forgot not everyone is as insane about this show as I am when someone brought up the failsafe in the comments, so I’ll clarify here: the First Ones alphabet is phonetic. A reading/writing guide was uploaded to the show/Dreamworks’ social medias with all the details, but basically the failsafe/word Heart from the show is formed from a base word bar with two decorative elements sticking out of the top on both ends to form the top of the heart. The language is read right to left, so the outlines for the bottom half of the heart are made from the sounds/letters H and R on the right, and T on the left. So when Adora says she has H and R, she means she quite literally has one half of the heart, while Catra has the other containing the T, like one of those half-heart best friend necklaces totally not baby-lesbians get with each other.

⦁ The Hearrrrrrrrrrtttt sceneeeeee god okay. Man I really like this fic can you tell XD Them intertwining in the Heart is something that can be So Personal- OKAY I swear I’ll stop memeing now. The intertwining thing was born of them needing to share the failsafe for Catra to survive it (initial outline just called for Adora “taking” it from Catra via She-ra and the healing magic, I changed that and it’s way better this way) but then I absolutely loved what it led to. It also really helps resolve a lot of their personal issues to see each other, stripped and honest and incapable of hiding. Adora can feel how Catra truly, truly doesn’t need her to be useful to love her, and Catra can feel how Adora loves her even when she doesn’t show it how Catra needs, not to mention how her friends in general love her and think about her when she isn’t there. All of these are things they realize over the periods of weeks and months and years post-canon, but they got to kind of speedrun that process here. And also it’s just so fucking yuri I had to do it.

⦁ In the finale of the show, someone on crew (pretty sure it was ND) said the original idea was for the burst of magic to shoot up and destroy the mothership, but someone on crew (and I know he named and credited them, I just can’t remember who right now) came up with the idea for it to be overtaken by that tangle of plant life instead to reclaim it, and he thought that was a better idea. And I don’t disagree with that. But in this one they went with that first option and just blasted him out of the sky lol.

Once More, With Feeling [one shot]

⦁ These two dumbasses blush when talking/thinking about the Heart for so long, half the Princess Alliance is convinced they had victory sex down there or something, but no, they’re just so fucking gay.

⦁ It's... kind of a headcanon? For my own fic? But they do end up going out to explore space with the help from some reformed clones (when it comes to spaceship building/repair and intergalactic navigation) at some point after the war and eventually come across Krytis, because I can't leave Melog there forever.

⦁ I have a list of some more ideas for this universe, so I will return at some point, but I need a break. I had SO much fun with this fic, it was absolutely wild, but it was also a long ride and my creativity needs a bit of a rest or I might burn out.

Original Outline:

Originally this series wasn’t supposed to have plot and I had disclaimers about that. Okay, there was supposed to be some plot (Fics 1 & 3, the breakup, and the finale fic) but there was very little aside from that. Even the finale fic, I didn’t have context for how that happened, it was just “confrontation with Horde Prime looked different since Catra never got captured since she was never with the Horde.”

Never with the Horde. Yeah.

So. When I was first planning this series, I only briefly considered the possibility of not breaking them up, because in this AU they’re extremely codependent and it’s not healthy. They absolutely needed to learn to function independently of each other, and I love angst. However, the initial idea was just that they would break up and Catra would run away to the Whispering Woods, having her own adventures, getting caught up in shit but luckily never any missions with Adora.

Then I went to sleep (while writing the first fic, I think, but maybe just planning), and by the time I got up the next morning I had written the entirety of the deflection fic (that’s what I called I’d Die Just to Be Someone for a while) in my head. I sat down in front of my rough timeline for the series that acted as an outline and went “‘kay how do I mess this up because this idea is so angsty I can’t not.” I mean I did consider not, I outlined like three or four different back halves of the fic using the deflection and not, but in the end I hammered out my best version of them with the deflection in place.

Having such an arc determined for the series really changed the way I thought about it in that it needed to have structure now rather than doing whatever I wanted like before, but I kept the nonlinear nature of the series like I first planned.

When I constructed the arc, it had an overall pretty simple structure with 1 plot forwarding fic followed by one character/world building or backstory/fluff fic, repeat 5/6 times. This changed almost immediately because I kept having ideas for new insert fics. Maze (Literal, Metaphorical), Girls Talk, and Halls That Make a Home were not in the original list of ideas, and HTMaH was just supposed to be a filler fic once inserted but ended up somewhere halfway between that and plot since it brings up the Entrapta thing before we hit the portal and is where Adora reveals her backstory.

The fact I kept wanting to move around fics didn’t help. The first 3 fics were as planned, the forth fic was supposed to be “something in the Rebellion,” which I suppose it is, only the ideas that were supposed to go there ended up being in the 11th fic in the series. Then the 5th was as planned, 6th and 7th were come up with while writing the series (the single fic that was supposed to take their place ended up as a scene in the 11th fic), and 8, 9, and 10 were as planned. 11 kind of fluctuated but was originally the library fic before that got moved earlier (because I really wanted to write it and it was a good way to introduce the Entrapta thing). 12, 13, and 14 were all as planned again, though.

BTW, when I say “as planned,” I mean the fic topic was as planned. Some of them still saw changes within that fic, but most of them were just a few sentences of summary so there was plenty of room to grow.

Also… let’s talk about those other endings. Because I ended up with two “main” versions once the deflection was planned, so there was a second version of the ending I was toying with up until the point of no return (fic 8). The other version of the end was that Scorpia never connected with the Garnet, but they discovered the Heart, and Light Hope was forced to try to activate it. Without the Garnet connected, it couldn’t go through, but it started enough for Prime to pick up signals and he (at least kind of) realized what Etheria’s deal was. This was the first way I explained the sword being kept intact (though Catra did still help Adora out).

What did this result in? Well, Prime figured out the temporal thing and started sending clones back in time to fight Etheria. This led to a much different looking war, with clones at first supplementing the Horde’s ranks, and then overthrowing Hordak when they realized what was up and marching on everybody. Once sent back in time, however, they were cut off from the hivemind and it was a disorganized mess, so Prime himself eventually realized that was the problem after sending waves and waves of clones back in time and went back himself. The stand off happened pretty similarly, Adora purified him and freed all the clones in their time, and then they used the Heart to move Etheria into the wider world, scattering the army in the process.

Honestly, there’s just a lot of logistical problems with this version of the end, and maybe I could have hammered them out and changed things around, but I liked the version I used better because it was just simpler and I feel like all that timetravel and different-looking war stuff would have gotten convulted and muddied the story pretty quickly. As much as I liked the idea of going in on my time travel headcanon, it was just too much. It would have necessitated at least two more fics that I don’t think would have been that interesting. I love how this series came out, so I think I made the right call there, lol. The only loss was that “This is Where Separation Ends” doesn’t also represent Etheria moving into the universe anymore since that already happened two fics ago, but it’s still the effective joining with the universe since Prime’s army was cutting them off, so good enough lol.

Meta:

Season One Fic Notes

Catra’s clothes (Wild, Weird)

Series Directory/Share Links

Upcoming:

I’m torn between two projects right now, so I’m not sure yet, but it’ll be a short multi-chapter fic either way so it will probably start in the next couple days