#one of the worst feelings is feeling lonely 😔

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hyunie 😔😣😣💔

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Come Home to Me (1/2)

Read Part 2 | Read it on AO3

Pairing: Sung Jinwoo X Female Reader

Genre: Marriage AU, fluff, smut, slight angst

Summary: Jinwoo bids you and his baby daughter goodbye before he goes on another dangerous mission. As his wife, you've grown used to the bittersweet farewell, only this time, you're not sure if he can return safely to you.

Word Count: 5K

Content Warnings: None for this one. Semi-public sex in part 2. Contains minor spoilers and the appearance of Beru, the shadow soldier that he obtained during Jeju Island Raid.

Author's Note: Wrote something fluffy for him since there's already plenty of Daddy!Jinwoo fics out there but none for Papa!Jinwoo 😔

A week. 

Your husband has only been gone for a week, tasting the air of a country that stretched like a vast sea on the other side of the world, wishing every breath and scenery was shared with you. And yet, the suspense of being kept in waiting, clueless to what was happening, was almost too much to bear. You never thought that seven days could stretch like infinity, how every hour passed by so slowly, so agonizingly, as if you had lost your sole purpose in life. Had you realized it sooner, you would’ve begged him not to go, knowing you’d be dreading every passing second, wondering if he was safe, if he was close to death’s door like the last time you let him go to protect Seoul from being transformed into an everlasting iceland. 

“What are you so worried about? You have it so easy. Your husband is untouchable. Try being a D-rank hunter’s wife like me. I’m lucky if he comes home with only a bruise on his face.”

What your neighbor told you was true. You had it easy compared to everyone else. You’re the wife of Korea’s 10th S-Rank Hunter. The Lord of the Undead. The Shadow Monarch. As the sixth nation-level hunter, maybe even a level beyond that, your husband’s strength was nearly immeasurable, far better than anyone else. But to you… He was just Sung Jinwoo. The father of your beautiful baby daughter, a loving husband who refused to believe that he was handsome enough to charm your heart from the very first sight, and an ardent lover who’d be more than willing to sacrifice the world for you, the same one he had vowed to protect with all his power. Jinwoo might be strong, surpassing all humans and beings alike, but even the Gods themselves weren’t invincible. And the thought of him not returning to you, no matter how slim the chance might be, scared you to your bones.

He had made enemies. Powerful enemies. Enemies that didn’t just wish to kill him but to torture. Enemies that were no longer just mindless beasts or demons but ones who bore immense hatred and revenge in their hearts.

With that knowledge in mind, all sorts of thoughts and scenarios raced through your head, all of them ending in worst-case scenarios.

What if Jinwoo doesn’t come home?

And, of course, amidst all that fear, there was loneliness. The kind that lingered every time your fingertips traced over your husband’s belongings in your bedroom. The kind that suffocated you when you caught a whiff of his sweet scent in your pillows. You thought you could handle it. It was only for a week, after all. It was not until later that you realized that it meant you had to miss seven occasions of him surprising you in the morning with a back hug and a tender kiss on your neck. Seven chances of seeing him opening the front door with a bag of sweets to please your daughter, embracing your little one with the sweetest of smiles before he greeted you with an equally sweet peck on the lips. Seven nights of nothing but the deafening silence to keep you company instead of deep, consuming kisses that took your breath away and a hand sliding up your thigh to remind you just who you belonged to.

You thought such a solitary feeling wouldn’t strike you so hard since you had your daughter to keep you company at all times, but it did, harder than lightning. You felt lonely the minute your husband kissed you goodbye. You felt lonely the moment he lovingly caressed your cheek, brushing another kiss, lighter and tender than before, right on your temple. You felt lonely the second his voice rang through your ears to speak his farewell, “Goodbye, baby. I’ll be home as soon as I clear the gate.” 

Soon was not enough. Soon, you realized, was just another word for eternity. Eternity without him. But the world needed him, and you couldn’t be selfish. You shouldn’t.

You hummed quietly in response, carrying your baby in your arms as your heart stood heavy with the fear for his safety. You knew you should’ve hidden it better so your husband could leave with ease. Seeing you worry so much would only make his heart ache more. 

You could tell that he already had his own concerns and doubts to dwell on, gnawing at him from the inside. Jinwoo was just better at hiding everything to himself—the burden he was carrying, the guilt of leaving you behind, the exhaustion of doing endless raids, one gate harder than the last. To tell the truth, he was as torn as you were. Like you, who constantly grew anxious over his well-being, he worried about yours, too, perhaps a million times worse. He was a hunter possessing God-like abilities, but you were just a human, as normal as one could be. The closest way to get to him, to strike him where he’d bleed the most, was through you. You and his sweet baby daughter. It was the reason why Jinwoo had assigned a hundred High Orcs to protect the neighborhood, with another hundred swarming beneath the shadows of your walls. He’d transformed your home into a fortress, and yet, even then, his concern for you remained. But your husband never told you this, and he wished you wouldn’t come to realize it on your own, not wanting you to feel like you were the anchor that slowed him down, a weight that would drown him deep into the void. 

You should’ve done the same. As his wife, the least you could do was put up a strong face, convince him that everything would be fine, that he’d return home safely, and that you’d be there waiting for him to welcome him with the warmth of your lips meeting his own. You could’ve offered him the peace he secretly sought after, and most of the time, you did a fine job at it, but this evening was different. There was a sense of impending dread closing in with every tick of the clock, and you couldn’t wash it away no matter what you did.

With his car keys dangling in one hand, Jinwoo headed toward your porch, carrying a suitcase with him. His long coat swayed gracefully with each step taken, his matching black shirt unbuttoned low enough to showcase the dip of his sternum. Even from behind, he appeared tall and strong, providing the feeling of security you couldn’t find in anyone else. Your baby held onto you, laying her head on your chest as you followed after your husband’s footsteps, oblivious to the heavy storm raging in your mind. 

Don’t go. You felt like catching his hand and pulling him back even from the second he removed himself from your embrace. “J-Jinwoo.”

His gaze flickered back to you, one hand settled on the door of his car. His eyes, the same pair that caused even the most vicious beast to tremble in fear, they were always so gentle to you, weren’t they? “Yeah?”

You swallowed your breath. Don’t tell him. Don’t make him worry more than he already is. You released a shaky breath, followed closely after with your best smile. “Be safe.”

A flash of curiosity fleeted across his face. He sensed something from how you behaved but did not quite understand it just yet, as your mask was nearly perfect. Smiling to himself, he settled down his suitcase and returned to you. Jinwoo laid a hand on your head, his palm large and gentle. As you looked up, greeted by his towering height, he bent himself slightly to be closer to you. He brushed the stray strands out of your eyes; his smile had a hint of confidence—maybe even arrogance—in it. “And who do you think you’re talking to, Sweetheart?”

To anyone else’s eyes, your husband might often come across as indifferent, with his charisma and leadership ceaselessly exuding out of him, making him seem unapproachable, guarded. But to you, he was always playful. Cheeky. Flirty, even. Not too much, just enough for your heart to palpitate inside your ribcages, just enough for you to recall the reason why your life was so beautiful, meaningful. No, the reason why you were alive in the first place. 

But it wasn’t enough to ease your worry, not today. Even so, you returned it with a delicate bow of your lips. “My husband,” you said, angling your head just enough for his hand to slide down to your cheek, gazing up at him with sincerity, “who I couldn’t bear to live without.”

He blinked, taken by surprise with such an earnest answer. Once the words sank in, his entire expression softened. His fingertips traced the contour of your cheek, a touch so tender you wondered if it truly belonged to someone who had drenched his hands in blood. His palm was rough, calloused from all the countless hours he’d spent wielding his dagger, but it comforted you more than anything else. “You’re right, I am,” he replied softly. “Which is why you don’t need to worry. As your husband, I have the responsibility—and this aching need—to be with you. No matter how hard it is, no matter how long it will take me, I will do anything, everything, to make sure I return to you.” He lifted your face just enough to brush a kiss on your temple. “I’ll come home safe and sound, the way I always do. You just need to trust me on this, all right?”

You believed him—you did, you always did—but you couldn’t put the same faith in whoever controlled his fate.

Jinwoo stood close, close enough for you to take in his scent and feel the familiar heat radiating from his body. He brought your face to his, pressing your foreheads together. Your lids fluttered shut at the intimacy, a habit of yours that he’d grown to adore. You wanted to cry, the silvery voice in your mind telling you this might be the last time you could bask in this serenity. You would’ve done it, sobbed your heart out, if it wasn’t because of the thin thread of restraint holding you together. 

“Instead of telling me to be safe,” Jinwoo breathed out softly, closing his eyes just the same. “Tell me you’ll be waiting for me.” He returned the small distance between your faces, just enough for you to marvel at the sweetness of his smile. “That you’ll be here, standing by the door to greet me with a smile, with the same kiss you gave me before we parted. Can you do that for me, Sweetheart? Can you wait here for me, stay safe, and make sure that I have something to come back to?”

You squeezed your lips tightly before you altered the tremble running through them into a smile. You covered his hand with your own, your digit brushing against the silver ring that adorned his lean finger, glinting under the sunset with your name carved inside. “Jin…” You brushed your lips against the center of his palm, exhaling heavily as you drowned in his warmth. It was nearly impossible to release the words, the same way you never wanted to release him. “Come home soon. Come home to me. I’ll be waiting for you.”

For someone who rarely showed emotions across his face, his joy unfolded like a flower, crystal clear for even your baby to see. With a quiver in his breath, his voice dropped an octave lower. “Baby,” he sighed, his voice hoarse with need, your stomach somersaulting at the sound. “You’re making it so hard for me to leave right now.”

If it was hard for him, it was unbearable to you. “I was just doing what you told me to.”

“I didn’t expect you to say it like that,” he replied, almost in a whine. “Now, I’ve lost motivation to go. Maybe I should just change back to my sweatpants and cuddle with you two. Watch cartoons all day. Eat cakes and have tea parties.” He tickled his daughter by the chin, returning her questioning eyes with a slight grin. “Doesn’t that sound fun, Princess?”

It was heartwarming the way he spoke it, the way he imagined it, how he craved for more time to spend with his family. “Then, stay,” you said, an impish, albeit faint, smile twinkled on your pretty mouth. “Stay with me.” You pulled your daughter, who had been listening while babbling quietly to herself, closer to you, your cheek squeezed tight against her plump one. “With us.”

“And watch the world burn?” His chuckle, your favorite sound in the world, reverberated nicely in your ears. 

You fell into deep rumination, taking his words into serious consideration despite it being a jest. A dungeon break would happen soon on the other side of the world, and an S-rank gate at that. Nobody was strong enough to close it. Nobody was strong enough to clear it. It would destroy the whole city in the following two days had it not been taken care of—no, maybe even the entire state. Hundreds—thousands—of innocent lives would be wiped out in an instant should that happen. Your husband had the power to stop it. He was the only one capable of saving them, but… 

“Would that… be so bad?” You feebly questioned before you could stop yourself, almost pleadingly. “Just one time… Don’t be a hero just this one time. Just be my husband and stay with me. Stay right here, where I need you the most.”

His smile vanished, his body freezing at the solemnity in your tone. He was lost for words, perplexity in his stare. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed his breath. Jinwoo cupped your cheek again, his gaze turning stern as he beseeched you for the truth. “Are you really asking me that?”

You gulped. His words had weight behind them, responding to you just as earnestly. It was almost as if he was on the verge of doing the same, just needing that one last push for his will to save the world to shatter. Your words could be it.

You felt weak under his stare, almost breathless, intoxicated by how deeply he loved you, to the point he would trade innocent lives for it. “As long as that means you can always be with me,” you answered, letting your selfish thought slip, saying it so quietly as if you couldn’t bear the Gods to know just how sinful your wish was. “I’ll trade the world for it.”

Not a word flowed from his mouth. His hold on your face was almost as still as a statue. Within this proximity, under this palpable tension, your gaze dropped to his thin lips, the same way his deep, cobalt eyes fell to yours. His eyes darkened, his body burning with desire. “Don’t tempt me,” he uttered, almost in a growl, before he smashed your lips together. He gathered your face in his hands, kissing you fast and hard, disregarding everything, anything except you. You could feel just how much he wanted to make your wish come true, and it painted elation onto your soul but guilt onto your heart. It was an awful thing to say, jest or not.

His moan, soft, breathy, and sensual, granted a layer of sweet vibration on your lips, and oh, you were wrong. This one was your favorite sound in the world. You were in the middle of drowning in his kiss, in the swirling, intense emotions he permeated your heart with, when the sound of your daughter’s giggles rang through the air. Immediately, you stopped, breaking away from him. “W-what are you laughing about, Sweetheart?” you asked her, flames licking your cheeks. “I can’t believe we just did that in front of our child!” You hissed at him, glaring.

Jinwoo averted his face to the side, looking just as flushed and caught off guard. Wiping the stain of your lip gloss off his lips with his knuckles, he uttered back, “Don’t blame me. This is all your fault.”

“How is it my fault? You kissed me.”

“You were looking at me with those eyes.”

“With what eyes?” You played dumb. “This is how I normally look at you.”

He snorted, amused. “Oh, so you weren’t just staring at my lips? Asking me to sacrifice the world for you while you did it?”

Your face sizzled. “Oh, shut up.”

Jinwoo laughed, quiet and soft as always, but his eyes crinkled prettily around the edges. Your daughter chortled along, too, as if she could understand the words you exchanged with your husband. In reality, she was simply mirroring the joy that gleamed on both of your faces, happy to see the unspoken, lingering sadness between you disappear even for a moment.

When you returned your stare from your daughter to the man before you, you caught him staring at you. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Nothing,” Jinwoo shrugged with a smile. Happy. “Hey, can you say it again?”

“Say what?”

“That you’ll be waiting for me to come back to you.”

Your heart thrashed inside your ribcages. For some reason, with him looking at you with those eyes and that smile, it felt mortifying to repeat it. You looked away, mumbling out the words almost inaudibly, “I’ll be waiting for you.”

“Baby,” he playfully scolded. “Be a good girl and say it like you mean it.”

Good gi—Must he say it like that? Your cheeks burned. “I’ll… I’ll be waiting… for you.”

So cute, his expression seemed to say, adoring you with his smile growing wide and clear, consumed by the love you presented him, love that was fully returned. “One more time, love. Please.”

You exhaled, finally succumbing to his wish. You held his gaze, your expression sheepish, nervous, but you said it as best as you could, placing a piece of your heart in every word.

“Come home to me. I’ll be waiting for you. I’ll always be waiting for you.”

It resonated straight into his chest, erasing every hint of smirk off his lips. A spark of desire filled his gaze as he dove his head to capture your lips once more, forgetting yet again that your baby was there—looking at the two of you with curious eyes.

“H-Honey,” you stopped him just in time despite wanting it as badly—especially after that last kiss. Funny how your body still longed desperately for his touch even after he’d endlessly robbed moans out of your mouth the previous night. “Your daughter’s still here.”

“Right.” Jinwoo broke free from the thought, no matter how inviting your lips looked. He turned toward his daughter, rubbing her head. “Sorry, kiddo. Mommy looked so pretty; I got completely absorbed for a moment there. The one before that was completely her fault, though.”

You elbowed him on the side, stealing another chuckle from him. “You’re not in a hurry, are you? I still want to talk to you. I’m sure your daughter feels the same, too. Even for a minute is fine, just… just stay.”

Happiness, one that you brought to him, was the perfect shade to color his face. Being so needed by you, so wanted… You were his motivation to fight and survive. He wanted to memorize your face, to engrave it into his mind so that he could hold onto it, even in the midst of battle. “Of course, baby.”

You dwelled in another string of conversation, something light to pacify your mind. You couldn’t help but stare a little as he spoke, adoring how his hair framed his face so perfectly. He looked exceptionally handsome standing before you, causing you to wonder if it was because your heart was already yearning so terribly for him, knowing you’d be deprived of his touch for days after.

The baby in your arms looked up at her father, her hand reaching forward to touch him, her twin-tails swaying in the air with every movement. “Papa…”

Jinwoo bent his head low to meet her at her eye level, smiling when she splayed her hand on his cheek. “Yes, my darling?” 

“Shaef…” She cooed, still having trouble pronouncing her words clearly. “Papa, shaef…”

Your lips curved up in a downhearted smile. “She wants you to be safe. Seems like she’s worried about you, too.”

You could see his emotions swirling in his eyes, how touched he was, how much it pained him to tear himself away from his little family, but it was a mission he needed to do. A mission that only he could do. He collected himself before more pieces of his heart broke, rubbing her head so affectionately. “I will be, Sweetheart. Daddy will be just fine. There’s no need to worry about me. Daddy’s stronger than anyone else.”

Your daughter tried to imitate the word ‘strong’ in response, an act so adorable that it stole a peal of laughter from both of you. “That’s right, Sweetie,” he crooned. “And you will be as strong as me, too, one day, but for now, I’ll have Beru watching over you at all times, okay? He’s tougher than any S-rank hunter here. He can protect you from anything.”

She blinked her doe eyes, patting his father’s cheek. “Boo… Bewu… Boo…”

Jinwoo sewed his brows in confusion. “What?”

You tittered. “She’s asking you if Beru could protect her from ghosts, too. Remember last Halloween when we bought her the storybook with the little white ghost? She’s talking about that one.”

“Oh, yeah,” he recalled the memory with delight. “You’re scared of the little ghost, baby?”

“Boo! Boo!”

“I see,” he chuckled lightly at her reaction. “Well, yes, Beru can certainly protect you from that, too. Just give me a second, all right?” 

Your husband straightened himself, his eyes emitting an ominous glow, a pair of brilliant amethyst gleaming underneath the orange tinge of the setting sun. No matter how often you’d seen it, it still sent shivers down your spine. 

“Come forth.”

A shadow soldier, a huge, humanoid ant with a light purple glow, neon eyes, and smoky wings, was born out of his spell, his body manifesting out of thin air. Beru, he was called, a name Jinwoo had bestowed upon him after he resurrected him during the deadly raid on Jeju island. 

The warrior kneeled before his summoner at once, bending his head low. “My liege.”

“Take care of my wife and baby while I’m away. Should any harm come to them…” It shimmered brighter, the eerie glow inside his eyes, carrying the horror of death itself. His voice vibrated dangerously, pressure in each word. “You know what I’ll do to you, right?”

The shadow, one of the strongest generals in his army, gulped in fear. “Y-yes, my liege.”

“Don’t be too harsh on him, Jin,” you scold your husband, rubbing his arm. “He’s doing us a favor.” You greeted the soldier with a warm smile. “I’ll be in your care again, Beru.”

“It is an honor, milady.” Beru placed his hand over his chest, his claws long enough to graze his own shoulder as he inclined his body forward. “I swear upon my life that I will do whatever it takes to protect you, even if it means my bones will shatter to dust.”

Jinwoo visibly rolled his eyes at his dramatic act. “See, this is exactly why I should be a little strict with him. You’re spoiling him too much.”

“I think he deserves it. He’s been an excellent babysitter to us. And he cleans up the house better than you do. He just talks a bit funny, that’s all.”

“Oh, Queen Consort,” Beru nearly sobbed, the black smoke around him trembled. “Your praise is too much for my humble self to accept. How can I, Beru, your most loyal servant, repay you for such kindness?”

“Stopping yourself from watching all those historical dramas would be a start,” your husband muttered.

“Shush, he can watch whatever he wants,” you lightly chastised him again, to which Jinwoo sighed in defeat. “Though I would’ve liked it better if you could just address me normally, Beru. Calling me the… Queen Consort is kind of embarrassing.”

Beru performed his respect with an exaggerated bow. “I will call you whatever title you see fit, milady. Please. Tell me. How should I refer to you, O my Gracious One?”

You cringed at the title. “My name?”

Horror fell upon his face as soon as the words reached his ears. “I-I cannot do that, milady! I will never be so disrespectful as to call you merely by your name. You are the Queen of The Shadow Realm. The Wife of Death. The Worthy Bearer of my King’s Seeds—”

“‘Milady’ then!” You exclaimed with haste, face aflame. “M-Milady is fine, just—never call me that.”

Jinwoo bit his lip, trying to bite back his laughter. “The last one has a nice ring to it.”

“Oh, be quiet.”

In the hilarity of the moment, your baby suddenly launched her hands in the air, her feet kicking around in excitement. “Bewu! Bewu!”

“Aaw, look at her, Jinwoo,” your mouth broke into a wide grin as you struggled to keep her in your arms. “She’s so happy to see him.”

“L-little monarch,” Beru, without a doubt, began to cry, touched by the baby’s attachment to him. “It is a pleasure to see you again, Princess. May—may I carry her in my arms, milady?”

“Sure.” You closed the distance, gently handing her over to him. “Watch your claws.”

“Of course, milady.” The soldier wept at their reunion, tears streaming down his armor-like skin. Your baby tugged onto one of his antennae, using it as her personal rattle toy, giggling as she did it. You and your husband smiled; your hearts thawed at the sight. 

Jinwoo, acting aloof as always, stuffed his hands inside his coat pockets, huffing out, “How is she not terrified of him but gets scared of a drawing? That little ghost was cute and Beru is like… that.”

“I take pride in my appearance, my liege. Nothing can penetrate my skin, not even the teeth of a mighty beast.” Under Jinwoo’s flat stare, Beru cowered. “N-nothing except your daggers, my liege.”

Your body shook a little with mirth as you replied, “Babies don’t see things the way we do, darling. Maybe she thinks Beru is cute.”

He hummed before he leaned closer to you. “And who do you think is cute?” A little smirk embellished his lips, his voice silky-smooth.

Understanding what lies behind his words, you slid a hand up his chest, an inkling of seduction in your smile. “I think you already know the answer to that.”

“Hmm, I’m not sure I do,” he teased back, loving the little game you played. “Care to enlighten me?”

Your hand rested on his shoulder before you guided him down to bring his ear close to your lips. You let your mouth caress his lobe, just a little, just enough to drive him crazy, and with the most sultry, alluring voice you could muster, you whispered your answer, “Beru.”

Though he grunted in dissatisfaction, a faint blush still smeared his cheek. Feeling the softness of your lips upon his sensitive skin, even after years of marriage, still did something to him. “You’re such a tease, you know that?”

“What?” You feigned innocence. “I really think he’s cute.”

“Of course you do,” he scoffed, to which you giggled in response.

“Papa,” your daughter points her finger at him, stealing his attention once more. “Papa, stay!”

“Does she think I’m a dog?” Jinwoo uttered before a chuckle followed. Shortening the small distance between them, he nuzzled his nose against her tiny palm, his usually stern eyes turning softer than the first snow of December. “You know how much I’d love to stay with you, baby girl, but I can’t. Daddy needs to go and save the world from the big, scary monsters out there so they won’t come and steal your little nose.” He pinched her pointy nose lightly, making her giggle with it. “But I will miss you. I will miss you so much, kiddo. So, be a good girl and wait for my return, okay? Daddy will be back before you know it.”

“Stay!” She insisted still, nearly launching herself forward in her vehement protest. “Stay, Papa, stay!”

“All right, all right, come here.” Your husband stole his daughter back from the shadow’s embrace, carrying her with ease in one arm despite her growing weight. “Let’s talk about it like adults, shall we?”

Life had passed by so quickly, faster than your brain could retain the memories, but you could still recall the first day you saw him holding your baby in his arms just like this. His expression back then was a mixture of excitement, the fear of the unknown, but above all, the love he was so eager to give. His hair was disheveled, his smile weary, and black circles stained his fair skin from all the sleepless hours he’d spent waiting beside your bed, praying for the Gods to ease your pain. He shed plenty of tears on the morning you finally opened your lids, thinking that it would take you forever to wake up, just like his mother once did. Perhaps even worse. With his sharp senses, he could tell just how much yours were fading away, and it frightened him more than the time he dealt with the giants in Cartenon Temple, so much that his fingers shook as they held yours tightly in the middle of his prayer.

It wasn’t an easy process bringing your little bundle of joy into the world—a life-threatening situation, all because she inherited just a hint of Jinwoo’s immense power. You suffered terribly during your pregnancy days, even more so when you were closer to the due date. Your daughter was so close to tearing open your womb and leaving you to bleed to death on your bed before the doctors took you away just in time to perform the surgery. Jinwoo had witnessed everything from behind the glass doors, feeling so powerless, useless, and loathing himself for it. His dose of the Elixir of Life had run out a while ago, and mere potions would never be enough to heal the internal wounds your daughter had caused you. Beru’s healing magic could only bring a little peace to your sleep, but it could not touch the root of your agony. Without any of these miracles, there was nothing Jinwoo could do but hold your hand and wish he could trade his life with yours. It brought you immense joy to see how everything worked out wonderfully in the end. 

Gratitude washed over you as you took in the sight of your husband trying his best to keep up with your daughter’s babbles. “Slow down, love. Daddy can’t understand you.” 

“She said you looked very magnificent today, my liege,” Beru attempted to interpret. “Very dandy. Truly, the living proof of how a man’s beauty could rival the heavens’—”

“No, she did not say that. And don’t say dandy.” Jinwoo cut him off with an exasperated sigh before he placed his focus back on her. “That’s quite a compelling argument you have there, Sweetie. Is that all, or should I give you some time to vent a bit more?” She answered with two pats on his nose. “You’ve said everything, huh? Right, okay. Hmm… That is certainly a very, very concerning problem. I wonder what we should do about it…” He pretended to think, tapping his chin. “Oh, I know. Why don’t you and I make a little promise? Here.” He held his fifth finger in the air, dragging it closer to her face. “Grab my pinky.” The baby blinked cutely in return, staring at it almost with wonder. It took her all of her tiny fingers to surround his own completely, and like how every baby behaved, she instinctively brought it to her mouth. “No, no, no, honey,” Jinwoo chuckled. “You don’t eat this one, okay? We’re making a promise. A pinky promise, the most special one of all. Are you ready?”

“Weady!”

“That’s the spirit, Sweetheart. All right, here we go.” He shook their fingers together. “Daddy promise that I will come home soon, and once I do, I’ll tell you all about the amazing adventure I had when I was away. All about the bears, and the dragons, everything. How about that, love? Sounds good?” 

Though you doubted she understood everything, she mimicked him by saying, “Good!”

He laughed softly. “Okay. Now, it’s your turn, Princess.” Jinwoo switched his voice, turning it a pitch higher. “I promise I will be good to Mommy when Daddy is away. And I promise I will kick Beru in the face if he ends up watching TV again instead of looking after me.”

“My liege…” The shadow called out dejectedly. “Do you really think I would do such a thing to your precious one?”

“No, I don’t,” Jinwoo tossed him a smile, one that was so genuinely warm, almost affectionate, even. “I know you’ll take care of my family as best as you can. That’s why I trust you, Beru. I’m counting on you.”

It didn’t take long for the soldier to crumble to his feet, bawling. “Y-your kind words have touched me so deeply, my king!”

No one is immune to his charm, you thought, almost rolling your eyes. Though you couldn’t really chaff about it as you fell victim to his charm, too. “Honey, don’t forget. She’ll turn two next Monday. Will you be home by then?”

“Of course,” Jinwoo said, rubbing the tip of his nose to his daughter’s, making her giggle with it. “Clearing an S-rank gate shouldn’t take more than two days, even by myself. The problem is that I have plenty of meetings with the higher-ups after that. It’s a pain. I wish I could just skip them all together, but… Well, if I run out of time, I can use Shadow Exchange to return home.”

You scrunched up your nose. “And ditch your meetings just like that? Wouldn’t that cause more trouble?”

“Yeah, Jinho would probably kill me for it,” he smirked, expressing barely any remorse. “But he’ll understand. He knows that family always comes first to me. I wouldn’t want to miss my baby’s birthday.” He squeezed the round flesh of her cheek between two fingers, smiling fondly with a glint of heartbreak in his eyes. “Daddy’s been so busy with all the raids that he hasn’t noticed how fast his baby girl is growing.” He sighed in regret, stroking her locks. “I wish time could move slower. I want you to stay like this forever. So tiny and adorable, looking so pretty with your mother’s smile.”

“I don’t know, honey. I think she looks more like you than me.”

“I think she’s the perfect combination of us, and I love that.” He gathered both of you close, hugging you at the same time, his lips caressing your hairline as he spoke. “I can’t believe you and I could make something so pretty. I thank the Gods every day for that. For this little family I have right here.”

You could feel the rapid beating of your heart as you buried your face into his chest. His scent was heavenly. Comforting. Masculine and attractive. When he let go, he took a fraction of your heart with him. 

“Daddy will bring you lots and lots of gifts, okay?” He pecked his daughter’s head. “Pretty things for you, and,” his gaze flew back to you, softening at the view. “Something sweet for your mother.”

You melted into a smile. “Just come home to me in one piece. That’s all I ask.”

He nodded, an unspoken promise that he’d keep close to his heart as he viciously took the life of another. “I better go,” he said, carefully handing his baby over to Beru, who clutched onto her so endearingly. “Jinho is waiting for me at the office.”

“Wait, I thought you were heading straight to the airport.”

“No, I need to drop by for a minute to grab some paperwork. I’m also leaving my car there, so.”

“Why don’t you just summon Kaisel?”

“I think it’s better for me to lay low for a bit. I don’t want to end up on the news again. Not everyone is used to seeing a flying beast in the sky, you see. But it’s fine. Jinho will drive me to the airport later.”

“You treating the son of a billionaire as your own Uber driver is still hilarious to me,” you simper.

A wave of his deep chuckle mixed in with yours. “He’s just being nice.”

“Can’t you, at least, sit on the front? I feel sorry for him.”

“But I like sitting in the backseat,” he said, his thumb rubbing circles on the back of your hand, somewhat suggestive. “It reminds me of… the fun we’ve had together.”

Though heat crept up fast onto your cheeks, you narrowed your eyes at him. “If Jinho finds out we did that in his car, he’d be livid.”

“Then, we’ll just have to make sure he doesn’t,” he answered with a sly smirk. “About that last time and… Well, the future ones.”

“Do it in our car next time.” 

“Oh, so there will be future occasions, huh? Noted.” His thin lips twisted in a devilish grin, pleased by the thought, saying it so shamelessly even with Beru bearing witness to the conversation. “Another reason for me to come back, then. Faster.” 

You turned flustered, shaking your head in disbelief despite your chest tightening in anticipation of passionate, spontaneous, breathless romance in the middle of nowhere, your body pressed against the leather seats, your breaths fogging the windows. “I-I take back what I said.”

“No takebacks, Sweetheart. You know I don’t like that.”

He spoke his last sentence almost in a husky, erotic whisper, reminding you of all the times in bed when you didn’t… behave properly. “Jinwoo, you said you didn’t want to be on the news. If we get caught—”

“For this one…” He sneaked an arm around your waist, pulling you closer toward him. His lips grazed your ear, teasing and seductive, almost the perfect imitation of how you did it to him before. “I’ll be very, very careful. Don’t want the world to see just how beautiful my wife looks under the moonlight, after all.” 

You could already tell that his tantalizing smile would linger for hours in your memory, even long after he departed. You cleared your throat, regaining your composure. “I-is Jinho coming with you?”

He found hilarity in the way you swerved the conversation, but he made no comment on it. “No. He wants to, but I won’t let him. It’s too dangerous. I sensed something different with this one, something similar to that eerie feeling when I entered the red gate. It’s better if I go alone. I don’t want to risk anyone’s life by coming with me.”

But you’ll… risk your own life for it… The anchor in your chest returned, weighing you down harder than before. You were careful not to let your tongue form your concern into words, but Jinwoo, as always, was observant, attentive to the slightest change in your expression. 

“Hey.” He trapped your chin between his fingers, tilting it up, locking your gazes together. “It’s dangerous for Jinho, but not me. I’ll be fine, trust me.”

“I know you will,” you murmured, more for your own ears to hear. 

Catching Beru’s soft hum, you glanced to your side. The shadow soldier rocked your baby in his arms, swaying her from side to side, cradling her close as her lids began to grow heavy. “She must have been exhausted after playing all day,” you pondered aloud. Intertwining your fingers with his, you leaned against his shoulder, your sigh heavy as you whispered, “It’s nice to have Beru here with us, but… It also reminds me that you won’t be around. I’ll miss you, probably more than I ever did. I miss you terribly even now.”

For a moment, Jinwoo fell mute, doing nothing but curling his fingers around yours a little tighter. Then, with his jaws tightened, he released his command. 

“Beru, take my daughter inside. I need to be with my wife. Alone.”  ***

Next Chapter

Here's an audio track so you can imagine just how soft and wonderful husband!jinwoo sounds 😁

Beru the babysitter 😭

[ohbabydollie]

I feel there’s a total lack of long distance relationship content for schlatt, so I was wondering if I could get a long distance relationship between schlatt and reader where Schlatt lives in Austin Texas while reader still lives near or in New York and can’t move because they’re going to college in the city.

he is so upset by this but understands that school is your priority

he hates the feeling of loneliness and being without you

it hurts him so bad but he can get by on video calls, texts, etc.

loves the holiday season bc it gives him an excuse to go visit

loves when you get breaks bc that means you can visit him

he also plays for your flights

picks you up from the airport with a sign like “back from rehab! 30 days clean from meth!!” and the worst photo of you he can find

tends to send you/door dash you things

like if you tell him you’ve been craving a certain snack or food, he has it sent to you

he sends you flowers, snacks, etc. through doordash from time to time if you ever seem like you need it

even if you don’t ask for it

“date nights” consist of you two finding shitty movies and watching it on discord together

he actively tells you to go ahead and go out but you’d much rather stay in your dorm on call with him

discord e sex 😔/j

no but fr, facetime sex for him only, he hates that he has to get by on it but is willing to take it

(this was sent in before schlatt announced he was moving back btw) once his lease is up, he finds nice apartments near your college and doesn’t tell you he’s going back until he’s moved in

he just comes to your dorm one day with flowers and tells you he’s back and has you move in with him once the school year is over

celebratory sex when he’s back!

first dinner together moved in sex, first time back in the same bed in forever sex, first time sleeping together in the same bed again sex, any sort of sex he can think of

can’t blame him, mans was getting lonely

—

he slowly kissed you, gently groping at your ass as you straddled him, occasionally pulling you tighter against him.

“god i missed ya so fuckin’ much” he softly murmurs

“missed you too” you say softly, arms wrapped around his neck

“fuck” he says kissing you again, this time deeper and more intimate, “im gonna fuck ya on every fuckin surface of this damn apartment”

[beloveds-embrace]

Question about feral reader,

Do they like flowers? I know the muzzle would make it really hard to smell them but maybe they like how colorful they are?

And I thought I saw something where the pack was mad at them and were mean to them? I could be mistaken though. But that would be horrible if they purposely were mean to feral :( would feral just shut down? Like go on auto pilot, only speaking when an answer was required?

They do like flowers, but not that much (atm :3). They don’t remember the smells, for one thing, and keep gloves on most of the time so the petals give them no feelings, but they do, indeed, like the colors. Especially once Kyle tucks some behind their ear and tells them it looks nice to them.

Also the second part…. Agony 😔 but yes!! They basically revert back to how they were when they first joined the 141- less a person and more a weapon that can be simply discarded. Worst part is that they don’t even blame the pack, they blame themselves for messing up. So on top of all that they will also avoid being around the pack and that includes eating much less so whoever is with them doesn’t have to linger longer than necessary </3 a terribly lonely time for them, a terribly guilty time for the pack

[badmilkk]

How do you think Pony or Darry (or maybe the whole gang) would react if Soda and Two-Bit let their relationship out of the closet

They seem like they're closeted because homophobes yk

I'm so glad you asked me that because I have a whole structured timeline about their relationship based on my headcanons. This is a bit of a long post but I don't caaare... (There are drawings at the end anyways)

Their relationship is post-canon, so Dally and Johnny are sadly dead. They started getting closer after Sandy left Soda. Darry was really busy at work, Pony hung out very often with his new group (Curly and Scout and more random characters I guess XD), and Steve was taking his relationship with Evie very seriously after seeing how badly things went for Soda, so these two started to get together since they were a bit lonely. Two-Bit had liked Soda for a long time, but he obviously kept it all a secret and would occasionally hook up with some girl as a way to disguise it and to distract himself, thinking he would forget him that way. But well, that didn't happen lol. Soda started to like Two-Bit after Two didn't gave damn about anything and began to half-flirt with him and have very strange acts of kindness and courtesy. At first, he didn't understand his feelings, but then, looking back, he understood everything. He had already suspected that he liked guys for a few years but hadn't stopped to think about it, plus, back then he had internalized homophobia 😔. Things started to happen between them one night when they were half-drunk after some party or something and they kissed. The next day, unfortunately, they both remembered and started avoiding each other out of embarrassment until Soda had a talk with him and told him that their relationship was wrong and that they should stay away for the good of both of them. Two-Bit was super depressed because he was very much in love but he listened to him and they were like that for a few weeks. They avoided each other while hiding it from everyone and acting like nothing was wrong. Everything exploded one day when Two-Bit finally spoke to him and they had a long conversation where they were honest with each other on the rooftop of the Curtis' house (for some reason??) and they confessed their feelings and blah blah blah... But there was no kiss!! They just hugged and that was it because that was still something new for them hehe. During the following days, they half-avoided each other because they were very nervous, but they would steal glances or touch hands, or sometimes Two-Bit would take advantage and start flirting with Soda. Until finally one night Soda snuck into Two-Bit's room through the window, they hung out, and they had their first official kiss without alcohol involved. Some nights when Pony had a sleepover with Scout in his room (this is another ship I like a lot), Soda would sleep in his old room, and taking advantage of this, Two-Bit would sneak in through the window and spend time or the night with him. Sometimes Soda has also snuck out to spend the night at his place. They started going on dates. Pony once caught them in a too affectionate situation 🫢🤨 when they thought no one was around and started to overthink it but kept it a secret. Then things started to fall into place and he already assumed that those two were at least friends with benefits.

When Soda (and Steve) went to war, in my head it was like a year and a half or so until they returned. Well, there was a time when they stopped receiving letters from both Soda and Steve and everyone assumed the worst, thinking they might have died. In a moment of weakness (and maybe a little drunk), Two-Bit confessed to Darry and Pony that he was dating Soda. Darry took it really badly and Pony finally confirmed his theory, and although he took it a little badly, he tried to show his best support (remember the homophobia of the 60s aaaa). Darry didn't want to talk to Two-Bit anymore ☹️. Upon returning home from Vietnam, the only one who knew they were coming back was Darry, as he kept it as a surprise after some phone calls with Soda. First, they reunited with Pony. Later, he told Soda that he already knew about his relationship and they had a little chat, but everything was fine because Pony understood that as long as they were happy and didn't hurt anyone, it shouldn't bother him that they were two men together. The next day, Pony accompanied Soda to Two-Bit's house and they had a super cute reunion. Time passed and Darry tried to soften up but it was very difficult for him. He fought with Soda many times about this because it was a huge shock, but over time he got used to it, "forgave" them, and accepted their relationship (what choice did he have XD). Steve was more of the same. He ended up finding out because Soda told him and they argued a lot too. He was hurt for being the last to find out blah blah blah there were problems blah blah blah homophobia of the time blah blah blah but Darry and Pony talked to him and made him see reason. Everyone got used to it and finally they were all happy!!! Although, of course, they couldn't act like boyfriends in front of other people, and they also don't really like being too close when they are around the gang. I couldn't tell you how long their relationship lasts, but for some reason, I feel like they don't end up staying together in the distant future.

[cutieeva]

Oh shit ! I truly thought that (Y/N) has gone mad but it wasn't that way when I read the second episode !! 😔😔 I am sad for girly yet excited to read the next that's why please please please update fast 😘😘 (Also I love your writing, officially in love with you)

Bullied

Female Reader

Warnings : Bullying. Violence.

⌜ Thank you dearie for loving my art of writing, it never fails to makes me happy and here an belated update. ⌟

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒

Loving someone itself is an act of selfish so why is leaving the relationship seen so heinous ? Sometimes one's own sake of happiness is needed more than another's if fallen out of love. The sooner (Y/N) understand the better.

"What is going on in that table ?"

"Is the girl okay ?"

"Why is she making a big deal about all ?"

"He is such a lovely boy yet she is so nasty accusing him for cheating ?"

"If I had a boyfriend like that I would die from happiness".

"He should break up with her".

"She seem toxic".

"(Y/N) ! Stop it and get up". Sophia's irritated voice reach her ears and (Y/N) couldn't help but feel all is jumbled. All is unclear. All is numb because does her suffering doesn't matter ? Yes, perhaps she is overreacting yet is it her fault when he was the one to lie about everything ?

Slowly her (E/C) eyes met Sophia's and other accountances she calls friends and her heart dropped.

Her pale face in snarl.

Other's cheeks red from thoroughly shame.

Another can't even share a glance at her.

The beautiful woman standing in awkward.

The guests are whispering, increasingly harsh, scary and the workers worried.

And lastly Cameron, stood looking hurt. In pain than she was and all her beliefs, reality begin distorting.

Is she a nuisance ?

Is she really overreacting over everything like others ?

Is she the one in wrong for not trusting him ?

Is being dated on bet and built an relationship on lies is alright as long as the faulty party apologize ?

If once the trust she believes was broken in the worst way, then is she the one to create drama ?

Are lies not serious ?

Do lies have little meaning ? Is playing with someone else's feeling is a small price for a relationship she didn't even realize ?

Is she overreacting ? "Am I overreacting ?" Despite people surround her, her own few people even the boyfriend she loved once yet why she suddenly feels so alone ? Lonely ? And hopeless ?

Daze with piling doubts and thousand pairs of eyes watching her, her hand yanked by Cameron. "I am sorry, I apologize for the scene". Smiling like a good man he hold her shoulder and walk her limp body to his car he drove.

In the entirety none dare break the ice in air while Cameron was in disappointment, (Y/N) in utter confusion. All she discover is that she has fall out of love, maybe from the moment he said 'I am now' in front of the men along losing herself. For the fear to let go she latched onto him, gifting him the second chance only to realize her suspicious, love turn into anger and anger form an hatred. An hatred she didn't knew. An hatred so deep she was unable to see his goodness anymore only searching faults.

Her entire being of happy, blunt, forgiving shaped into such a stranger her own eyes have harder to see from the clear fog. She shaped into a vicious, incredulous person. A person she never even dreamed to become.

"Get off". Cameron's that soft, smooth voice rip her from the creeping shadows of words inside her mind and her haze gaze glance to find herself house. His home they decide to turn into their love nest.

Sliding down from the car, she walked towards the lift without waiting for him to follow and press the cold metal button. Her eyes dried from the tears that caught her reflection in the shining metal and she couldn't help find the dark circles weight heavy under her eyes, rim edges red and hair— a mess with barely appropriate clothes on. She looks nothing alike the neat, fresh (Y/N).

She looks wasted, used and worn off self— the door of the lifts snap her out again, she blink twice before stepping in properly. Their floor came faster than she expect and the moment the doorknob twist open. She close her eyes ready to be face with angry lashing, words like knives twisting her guts yet none came.

Rather he remove his coat, wash his hands and smile. "What shall we eat then ?"

She merely stare at him.

He continue to smile. The smile she doesn't find warming, sweet.

"Maybe something different. Like Pollo al Ajillo, in English known as Garlic Chicken ? Hmm ?" A single word didn't slip her lips, standing at her roots.

And without her reply he decided. She watched him not moving her an inch cooking, smiling like a normal couple. Minutes bled into hours and little to no care he serve the food, finally ripping her from her roots and sat her beside him.

Stomach churn in no hunger and eyes burden to open, she look at him. "Let's take a break". The metal spoon his fingers held pause, his smile creased.

"I-I need spac—".

"You don't". He cut off smoothly. His smile wider to it's length than before and the spoon between his fingers lay on the wooden table. "I know what happen today was a little overboard but do not worry. It was my fault after all and it's alright. I forgive you". Soft his eyes he push the plate of food to her, an gesture to eat.

However she couldn't. Her eyes couldn't rip from the oblivious face, acting all normal, when nothing is. Nothing is normal. Their relationship is falling apart, their love draft from one another and trust long out of the picture.

He so easily utter his denial. She doesn't need space, perhaps she doesn't but wouldn't he at least ask the reason behind ? Even if it's known still ask and not play the game of pretend. It's exhausting because they are a real couple not actors in a play.

"Would you not ask me why ?" Her voice in end crack.

"Would it make a difference ?"

"Yes, a lot". Honestly she shares, it will help her a lot to understand the real Cameron, the one who she fell for or the one she saw when the illusion shatter.

He turn his head to her. "We are doing alright. It will be fine. Look am I not improving myself ?" No, she only sees him now complying to her wishes easily.

"I need space". She look away, his face reminding her of those cherish days. "We both need space". She finished, adamant on seperating even if it's for a moment she wants to breath, the tightness on her chest is too much and the alarming mistrust.

Once a pot is broken, even with the finest potter's hands can't fix the remained lines of past.

"Okay". To her surprise he agreed "I see, you need time to cool your head". With that he stood up and went to their shared bedroom leaving her and the cold food behind.

Her finger hold the spoon to take a bite of the dish however few inches from her lips she pause. Staring at the food and can't help but cry of unable to eat at the end. Merely thinking how without waiting for her choice, he cooked the food, only giving an illusion of choices.

☾

When one announce their break up. People's first reaction is : 

"Did he cheat ?"

"Did you cheat ?"

"Is he abusive ?"

"Manipulative ?"

"Controlling ?"

"A bet". (Y/N) would say. "I was a bet he was dared to date and in process he fell for me but he always treated not less than a princess and after I found out he begged, confessed his love. From then he always is perfect. Even ignoring my overreaction". All the voices stopped altogether. The harsh, doubtful all pause because in this picture nothing is wrong apart from the fact he was a liar, who lied and fixed himself for better. He really did but can it patch the wounds of her shattered faith in him ?

People always say second chance can change lives, do wonders and in her she saw. She can see why they give second chances yet she can't bring herself to love anymore. She is angry, stuck on the phrase where all laughed at her like a clown, whispering, betting for how long would she last.

Was she a human or a puppet ? He never defended her, he never share his thoughts with her. She doesn't even know him anymore. She really really is lost.

Even walking towards the metal gates of university seem heavy, scary. Her mind already twisted her vision of people laughing, hating her. Being the center of attention she so wants to be away from. Her (E/C) eyes glance around walking to her class recalling not to stumble upon them or him. She is enough exhausted. She doesn't need more.

BANG! She flinched, her nerves jolting.

BANG! Her eyelids snapped shut, shielding herself from the brutality.

BANG! The sound of flesh colliding with metal reverberated through her ears, leaving a buzzing ache. A human body, crumpling like a rag doll.

"Poor him. He should quit or complain". Not so subtle whispers like flicker of fire circle around, reaching her ears.

"Shouldn't he die at this rate ?" Cruel.

"What a bore. Really ? Everyday ? Isn't it such a nuisance—". Cruel. So, so cruel. Just because a person can't help himself doesn't give these people the chance to pity him. To paint him— the victim the cause of his own suffering. His silence was twisted into consent, his helplessness fuel for their merciless ridicule.

Cruel. Cruel. Cruel. Cruel. Laughter like devilish cackles echoed, faces feigning sympathy, eyes gleaming with fox-like innocence. Cowardly souls, masking their true nature.

She, too, wore a mask, hypocrisy veiling her own darkness.

That's why in a blink of an eye. Her once neat clean palm painted in crimson, stretch of iron reeking the air, painful grunts and horried screams and distorted yells is making no sense to her. She can't understand the aching in her palm, the cries of the familiar boy's underneath her, chanting of word fight and her own tears rolling down.

"Fight. Fight. Fright. Fright". The crowd roar fueling her more and more and more. Why are they encouraging ? Yet why does it feel like she is revelling in it ?

"(Y/N) ! Stop beating Adrian". Oh. Her palms ache because she is punching his face, painted in crimson because it's his blood, cries belong to Adrian who lay beneath her helpless like that boy he was seconds ago using as a ragdoll.

How wonderful.

She can't stop. She punch and punch and punch and punch uttering only three words. "I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry". Not to the bully— no never to Adrian. Never to the boy who is violent to innocent. It's to the victim, to the unknown jester of everyone's joke. For Everyone's play. For the system that enable Adrian's cruelty into fun.

She is sorry for blind. She is sorry for foolish. She is sorry for being coward. She is sorry for ignoring him. She is sorry for wearing mask of pretense herself. She is sorry for falling into the lies of Cameron. She is sorry for saying yes to his proposal. She is sorry for overreacting. She is sorry for suspecting. She is sorry for losing trust. She is sorry for not being happy with a perfect boyfriend.

She is sorry for fell in love.

She is sorry for.....everything.

To herself.

To everything.

☾

Dry tears stain her (S/C) cheeks as in empty space she stare, leaning on the chair in front of director's office. The woman's words faded into background noise, inaudible over the cacophony of her thoughts.

Her mind replayed the chaos: the frantic struggle, the flash of anger, the blur of fists. She couldn't recall who intervened, pulling her back from the brink of destruction. By then, he had already crumpled, unconscious. Her tangled hair bore witness to the scuffle, matted from the grasping hands of his minions, few blood dotted her blue jeans, a crimson constellation from her own nose. Her torn t-shirt hung askew, shoulder exposed while he— lay worse. Broken. Lifeless almost.

Yet no remorse stirred in her stomach, surprisingly. Instead, a lingering sense of justification lingered, eclipsed only by the anguish she felt for the victim. The one she had been compelled to defend, driven by a primal urge to protect she only dreamed.

"(Y/N), can you hear me?" The director's voice cut through the tension. "Do you comprehend the gravity of your situation? You're at risk of expelled !" An humorless laugh almost slip from (Y/N).

Expelled for what ? Punching a deserving scum to death while he punch an innocent boy to death when his skin wasn't even healed from the stitches of wounds Adrian left on him ?

(E/C) eyes stare at the female director who's blue glossy eyes stare at (Y/N) like she was a demon of chao when in her view, the real corrupt could be the adult, this lady who blind these physical, emotion abuse. Pain so small like (Y/N)'s bet and huge imprinting like that boy's scars for eternal to remember. Become something that etched in their memories, their experiences, though grave and painful, would be reduced to cautionary stories, diluted by time and retelling. The true weight of their suffering would remain unspoken, lost amidst the faint whispers of a forgotten past.

The tense standoff ended when the director's blue eyes darted past (Y/N), as if catching something She sighed audibly, her expression softening. "Get out. Reflect on your actions and the reasons for your two-week suspension. Expulsion is off the table." She mused confusing (Y/N)'s daze self a little and when she stood up, walking out of the room.

She understand meeting his concern eyes. Her boyfriend must have used his power.

Cameron swallowed under her intense gaze, part his lips to say when she continue to walk, aware of the pain in her body suddenly.

Alone in the empty hallway, she felt a fleeting sense of peace, liberated from the weight of others' judgments. Her footsteps echoed off the walls as she moved, ghost-like. Her eyes drifted to the scattered belongings on the floor, remnants of the chaos. She bent to gather them, her movements slow and deliberate.

A sudden twinge of pain shot through her knee as she crouched. (Y/N) winced, noticing the cut, a crimson gash on her pale skin. She gingerly touched the wound, her fingers tracing the tender edge. This time she felt like crying with clarity, like she knew what she was crying for along a need. Tears swell within her (E/C) eyes waiting to fall.

"It will hurt more if you cry". Calmly she gaze beside her. To the lockers where the boy slumped, his face still smeared with blood. The indifference surrounding him was palpable, as if no one cared about his suffering. (Y/N) press her lips, pulling a white handkerchief to hand him.

He accepted the handkerchief, his fingers brushing against hers. With gentle movements, he wiped the blood from his face, revealing a canvas of bruises and wounds beneath. For the first time, (Y/N) saw his true complexion – pale, with a hint of rosy undertones. The vibrant hues of his injuries – purple, blue, and crimson – stood in stark contrast to his delicate skin.

As the blood was wiped away, his features emerged, and (Y/N) noticed the sharp angles of his cheekbones, the gentle curve of his nose, and the softness of his lips.

"I am sorry". It fell out before she could revise or add.

"Don't be". He shake his head. "Everyone's coward. Even me". (Y/N) desire to protest of his own situation.

"I am talking about you". She blink. "You are Cameron's girlfriend". He utter like a fact. "All business major knew about a bet on a girl. They just didn't knew who until one of Cameron's friend told about your relationship making everyone realize who she is but wasn't sure". Her breath hitched. So they did. All did.

"I too, because I am from business major. Yet I was a coward to not say the truth or at least..." He tailed off. "Warn you". He finished heavy silence weight the air. (Y/N) inhale, not finding words to explain the mess of feelings she is having. Indeed both were jester of everyone's joke.

As she scoffed, her gaze trailed his movements, expecting him to walk away. But instead, he swooped down, his lithe frame folding into a crouch beside her. His amber eyes locked onto her knee, the cut a tiny, crimson gash.

Without a word, he reached out, his fingertips grazing her skin as he applied a band-aid. A shiver danced up her spine at the gentle touch.

"You know you're also being bullied?" His voice was low, concerned. Her eyes lift to his focused ones on her cut, whispering a "No".

"Bullying is not only physical you know. It can be emotional too. And what is happening to you is bullying too. An emotional one where he took advantage of your trust, then play with your feelings, manipulate you into staying in the relationship when you clearly in daze of the complexity and not in right state. If he truly cared about you, wouldn't he have asked how you felt or given you the space to think? Wouldn't he have prioritized your well-being over his own desires? But instead, he rushed you into this relationship, disregarding your boundaries and emotions". His words felt like sting of bees she couldn't process as the image of Cameron's pained face when she accused of him cheating in front of others.

His pure happiness when he pull the chair for her in front of her parents.

His patience when she was crying so suddenly and at the restaurant.

Her colleagues Sofia and others disturbed faces and harsh whispers.

"No. No. He is not perfect, yes. He is not good entirely. He is a liar but he improved. It is I who has problem. I fall out of love, mistrust him and..." Her throat felt dry to speak and she swallowed having difficulty seeing. The problem lies in her. She is the odd, fallen one.

The boy finally gaze his amber eyes and said. "If Cameron really is a good person. Not perfect, good. Then why in the first place are you lashing out and angrily pushing your anger on Adrian ? And in a mess mindset ?" It left (Y/N) shunned. Because truly did she blames Cameron for her misery. Hates him for his mockery of perfection. However never did she blame him for his entanglement to this relationship based on lies for her was truth.

"Let's assume Cameron is a good person who genuinely cares for you and loves you deeply, but isn't able to let you go. However, if being with him no longer brings you happiness— not because of his flaws, but because your feelings have changed and you're staying solely out of guilt or obligation, don't you think it's time to reevaluate? For your own sake, shouldn't you prioritize your happiness even if it's selfishness ?"

As he stood, dusting off his pants, (Y/N) lifted her gaze to meet his. His eyes held a gentle intensity. "After all, loving someone is, in itself, a selfish act," he added, his voice low and thoughtful.

"I am saying this because you came out of your cowardness for me and I for you". the boy said, wincing as he gingerly touched his jaw. "I should get to the nurse," he added, his voice laced with discomfort.

She swiftly stood up, her hand brushing against his arm with an awkward yet tender touch. "Let me help."

"No, it's okay..." He trailed off, his mind reeling as a wave of dizziness washed over him. His legs weakened, and he swayed precariously, almost toppling over.

(Y/N)'s eyes widened in alarm as she swiftly grasped his arms, her grip tight.

𝑻𝒐 𝑩𝒆 𝑪𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒖𝒆𝒅

☾ ────────

[slu7formen]

HEY HEHEGE IK I JUST SENT IN A REQUEST but can i pretty please have another slytherin reader x ced sickfic😭😭😭😔😔😔 this cold is kicking my ass rn i need ced to take care of me🤞 how bout if the reader is like stubborn denying she’s sick but ced is a casual dom taking care of her and reader just complies when he gives her the stern look😫😫 and he’s worried sick not letting her out of bed n stuff omg i want someone to scold me for being sick ffs im lonely as hell. also thank you sm for the last request i made you r a godsend🥰🥰

also can i know what to call you pls i feel rather awkward calling you, well, you. love you tho 💋💋 i’m confident im ur biggest fan if there’s no appreciater of ur work then im probably dead in a ditch somewhere

you’re always requesting and I think that’s just so sweet 🥹 thank u ! also, had so much fun writing this.

Cedric taking care of you when you’re sick <3

slu7formen’s masterlist | cedric diggory masterlist

Sometimes Cedric hated how stubborn you were. Like, really, he truly felt that you behaved like a child that tried to get everything their own way and everything else was just wrong.

He noticed. It was not fucking hard to notice that you were about to catch the worst flu of your life; you looked so sick you could easily be mistaken for someone who was dragon pox. Your sore throat, the pain in your chest, the phlegm in your chest when you coughed, and the sneezing. And still, you were bold enough to lie to his face.

“I’m fine” you affirmed, followed by a small sneeze. Cedric raised his eyebrows at you, you rolled your eyes. “Seriously, it’s nothing”

“It’s nothing?” Cedric raised his voice, looking at you in disbelief. “Honey, you can’t even talk without choking in your own phlegm”

“Don’t overreact” you bit back. “I said I’m fine”

He didn’t want to fight. Whenever you did, it was because most of the time, you behaved like the most stubborn person ever… but he just relaxed. Maybe you could get better, maybe you were right this time.

Of course you weren’t right. Do you really believe that you’re ever gonna prove Cedric wrong?

The next morning your body was hurting, swollen and sore everywhere and constantly groaning as you sat down in chairs during classes. Cedric noticed every single time.

“Can you please let me take you to the Emergency Wing?” he had whispered to you once Snape had walked past you two.

“No” you argued.

“You’re not even writing there” he pointed to your hand, where the ink had dropped a few drops since you just lifted your wrist in the air, without writing anything.

“Cedric” you called. You rarely called him by his name, it was always ‘Ced’ to him, unless you were mad. “I’m fine. Stop it”

He let it pass just one more day, but when you didn’t even show up to your first class the next morning, he truly started to get mad.

You woke up with him sitting at the edge of your bed. You gasped as you sat on the bed, desperate and confused. “What time is it?” you asked, already trying to get out of bed.

“Don’t worry, you’ve missed classes already” he interrupted. You sat on the bed, angry.

“I what!?” you yelled, as painful as it was for you to do so.

“You’re staying in bed” he demanded, big arms crossed over his chest as he stood up, standing in front of your weak body like a giant statue, demanding you to stay where you are.

But of course, you had to complain.

“How many times do I have to tell you?” you stood up and pushed his shoulder, walking past him. “I’m f-…” before you could reach the door, an invisible force bounced you back into your place. You scoffed in disbelief, and Cedric grinned, satisfied. You tried to walk again, but the same bouncy feeling hit your body, much harder this time.

“Imperturbable Charm” he explained. “You’re not getting out of this room”

“Imperturbable-, where’s my wand?” you walked towards him, almost hitting your chest to his, even though the scene was not threatening at all. To Cedric’s eyes, it looked quite funny. You, all red nose and sore throat, smaller than him, trying to act angry at him. Yeah, as if he would let you win this time.

“I’m not giving you your wand. You’re staying inside this room, so do as I say, and go to bed”

You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest. “No”

“Oh?” he dared, raising both eyebrows and lowering his head. He studied your facial expressions for a moment before speaking again. “Baby, that wasn’t a question. Let me take care of you, and go to bed”

You bit the inside of your cheek. His grey eyes were working their way inside your brain; you fucking hated it and loved it at the same time. You groaned when you slowly saw his satisfied smirk grow on his face, he knew he already won.

Once you got yourself covered in bed again, he walked to the nightstand next to your bed. On top of it, there was a small ceramic bowl with a brown liquid inside, it smelled good. He grabbed it carefully and handed it to you. “It’s chicken and pumpkin soup” he explained. He slowly placed it over your lap, instantly feeling the heat grow over your thighs, it was still hot.

He then squat down and took his leather bag, the one you gifted him just a few months ago. He opened it, and took one small glass bottle, placing it at your small nightstand bed. “And this,” he pointed to the horrible red liquid “is Pepperup Potion. You have to drink it. Madame Pomfrey said it’s just a common cold that you have, but since you’ve been like this for days, if you’re not better by tomorrow morning, you’ll have to stay at the Emergency Wing”

You gulped, looked down at the hot soup, and then back at him. “Okay” you said in a small voice. Cedric sighed heavily before taking a spoon and sitting in front of you at the bed, next to your thighs. You tried to take it, but he quickly backed it up. He served some soup on the spoon, making sure that a small piece of chicken stayed there, he knew how much you loved to have in the first bite… or drink.

“Open” he demanded. You did so, and the warm and salty taste of the soup felt good against your tongue, already satisfied with your food for the first time in three days. You didn’t say anything, just letting your boyfriend put food into your mouth as he placed his free hand over your thigh, squeezing and soothing up and down.

“Thank you” you said after taking one particular big spoon of soup. “And, I’m sorry for being stubborn… and for not letting you take care of me”

He snorted. “It’s okay, angel” he replied. He knew how much you loved it when he called you that. “I know how hard that skull of yours can be sometimes”

You rolled your eyes. “Shut up” you laughed. He forced you into taking more of your food before it gets cold. “You shouldn’t be doing this. I can take care of myself”

“No one takes cares of you better than I do” he took the bowl out of your legs and placed it over the table.

“It’s not like I have a choice. You locked me up here”

He moved closer to you. “And don’t you like it?” he asked. “You and me, locked inside your dorm-…”

“Ced!” you gasped in disbelief before he bursted out laughing. “You’re supposed to be taking care of me, remember?”

“Excuse me, am I not doing it?”

You placed a hand at the back of his neck, slightly running your fingers through his scalp. “No. I would say you’re more of a distraction”

His face got closer to yours. “Am I?” he leaned in, but you backed up, surprise.

“Aren’t you afraid you’ll get sick too?”

“I really don’t care” he said before softly placing your lips over yours. Kissing Cedric always felt like kissing the smoothest and plushiest cloud. His lips were warm, and the way he captured your lips between yours was always the hardest thing to separate from whenever you broke the kiss. If you could, you’d kiss him forever.

He leaned back and placed his forehead on yours. “Want me to give you a massage?” he asked.

“Yes, please” you groaned. He laughed.

“Okay, okay” he stood up “But before that… your medicine” he took the glass bottle and shook it in his hand.

“Nooo” you whined, hiding under the covers.

“You have to drink it, honey” he tried to uncover you, which was already hard enough since your hands gripped onto the sheets with amazing strength.

“No!”

“You won’t get better unless you drink it”

“I already feel better” you lied.

Cedric found your head hidden under the blanket and gave it a light smack. “Liar” he panted.

After fighting for some time, Cedric promised you a chocolate frog after the medicine. He stayed with you for the rest of the day, only going to his own room when your roommates came back to your dorm to sleep, not leaving without kissing you first, and getting rid of the charm he had put around your bed.

It still felt weird when Cedric took care of you like this. You knew he was someone that cared for the people he loved, but you never thought it would go as far as staying with you in bed for a whole day, missing classes and risking himself on getting sick too.

But the truth was, Cedric loved you more than anything in this world. Taking care of you was the least thing he could do after you agreed in giving your heart and soul to him.

Is it a bad time for me to ask you to go check on my new ethan landry one shot ? 🥹

[lakesparkles]

(I was originally gonna post this in the replies of the last ask but I got shy ;-;)

YES. YESSSSS oh my god. you and I. we're like the same. ramona's guilt was what drew me to her in the first place. it's so rare to find a character that truly struggles with feeling like a bad person, and bryan wrote it so perfectly. it's such a shame that this part of ramona never made it into any of the adaptations. he represented how domestic abuse affects victims so well, SO WELL. anyone who argues that being interested in gideon/ramona is bad has never experienced d/a. long-term abuse destroys you. it rewires your brain. it makes you obsessive and vulnerable and lonely but afraid of people. I was attached to my ex for years after we broke up. years after we stopped talking I still fantasized about earning his approval and love and affection. I think it's quite natural to obsess over similar situations, in a way. healthier than thinking about your own lol

bryan wrote gideon and ramona. so. well. I do wish he would have explained more about them, but what we did get (in the comics) was really personal and important to me. ramona's self-hatred, her misplaced guilt, her feelings of being an evil person who can't be saved... yeah. any time someone says "ramona was the real villain!" I do the biggest eye-roll ever. no, she's not. being a victim makes you do some terrible, terrible things to yourself and others but I don't think even that makes her evil. she's just a person

and yes. I love villains, and gideon is nowhere near the worst. the way that he's presented, especially with the tone of scott pilgrim, is very comedic. he's hardly evil in the anime/movie at all

I love. characters who struggle with morality and feeling evil so much. if I had replied on the last post from my main you could've seen my fave for the past year😭😭

-🦊

(oh don't worry at all, I know how it feels 😔)

You understand me so much, reading your asks even comfort me in a way, thank you for this <3 EXACTLY!! And when I find a character who feels this way... They're usually written in a way that I can't relate to. But Ramona is very different, it was like she was translating my own feelings into words and I could finally understand what I felt, in the first place.

And you're surely not wrong or alone for being this way, with me it was basically the same. I don't see my ex for seven years (?) and I still think about her all the time. I wonder how different things could've been. I wonder if I was the one who acted wrong (not surprises, this is what happens after you have a relationship with someone who manipulates you to believe it).

This is exactly the reason Ramona is so important to me and why Gideon and her are the best representation of an abusive relationship. Many people are afraid to show that, when you're a victim of it, you don't feel good about yourself. In fact, it's like you feel guilty and ashamed for the longest time. And, even worse, that this kind of relationship has good moments too and this is the hardest part. When my ex was nice, she was VERY nice.

I love villains, however, Ramona is NOT EVEN CLOSE to being one. I haaate when people say this about her... But let's be real, a big part of the Scott Pilgrim fandom hates women :( and yeees, Gideon is just "normal villain" level to me. He's bad, he's showed as bad but many of his scenes are funny. Bryan himself doesn't take his seriously and, most of all, he's a loser. I love him for this.

Now I'm so curious about your fave haha but like I said, don't worry at all!! You're always free to reply with your main or DM me, but only if you feel comfortable doing so ^^

[paikothecateater]

could we get a fic about what happened before Iceland made his way into Sweden's room and found norway?

we wanna know what kind of nightmare norway was having to the point of him going to Sweden😔

Oh hell yeah!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Norway was way too familiar with this dream. He couldn't figure out how to categorise it. It wasn't a good dream, that's for sure, but it also wasn't entirely a nightmare.

He made another lazy, futile attempt to reach over and grasp it.

To grasp him...

He vaguely recognised the figure. He knew this person, he was sure of it, but he couldn't put a name to him.

He wasn't the only one. There were three others, this one just so happened to be the clearest.

He had a hard time convincing himself that they were people. They didn't seem real.

They were blurry and let off a soft glow. The glow became brighter whenever they spoke. He couldn't understand a word, but he loved their voices.

He didn't think they knew he existed. They didn't seem to be able to see him.

They had so many conversations. Even though Norway didn't understand a word, it warmed him from the inside. He never managed to get close enough to touch one, but he did know that on top of their soft light, they gave off this gentle heat.

Two of them were always at a distance from him. He wasn't bothered. They always seemed happy to him that way.

The other two always stayed close. One of them stayed extremely close at all times. He tried and tried, but could never touch it. He was afraid to. He once almost grazed it, but it's glow dimmed dangerously low when he did. He was scared of somehow hurting it.

This one was, by far, his favourite. It was smaller than the others. He felt this strong connection to it. This strong urge to protect it. He didn't recognise him, but he knew he loved him.

Another one occasionally joined it. This one was much bigger and it's light was much more stable, much brighter. It's warmth was also more intense. He had the sneaking suspicion this one at least knew of his existence.

He felt safe in its presence.

He liked getting to see them, but it was also very isolating.

These embers had their own world. He wasn't a part of it, and no matter how hard he tried, they always ended up fading.

Just as soon as he finally remembered them.

He felt horribly cold without them. Their heat was so pleasant and comforting...

It was dark, cold and lonely.

Norway's worst fear wasn't an easy one to overcome... Norway feared being alone most out of everything.

Norway woke up in a pool of his own sweat.

He immediately throws the covers off of himself and rushes out of his room.

He walks into Iceland's room.

He couldn't bring himself to wake him up...

Iceland looked quite troubled himself. It would be cruel to add more stress to him when his mind seemed so heavy.

Norway leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on his little brother's cheek.

Iceland's expression softened and he let out a quiet sigh.

"I won't let you carry my burdens this time. You're just a child. It's my job to make you feel better. You have nothing to worry about, Min lille prins." He whispered before leaving the room.

Norway wandered around aimlessly. He didn't want to wake anyone else up.

Especially not Denmark or Finland. He recognised them as the distant blurry figures from his dream.

Part of him was hurt that they weren't as close as Iceland or Sweden, but he couldn't blame them for his own mind's cruelty. They didn't deserve that.

Sweden was an option, but walking into someone's room to tell them you had a nightmare as an adult man might be the worst thing Norway can think of.

So he paced.

And paced.

And paced...

And paced.....

Until he couldn't bring himself to stand anymore.

He walked over to Sweden's door, sat down by it and let his tears fall pathetically.

He didn't know why he was so miserable. It wasn't a bad dream. It was supposedly happy, but Norway felt so alone. So abandoned...

Sweden's door opened and Norway was met with a very confused yet concerned look.

Not even bothering to stand, Norway wordlessly clung to Sweden's legs.

"Norway...? What happened?" Sweden mumbled sleepily.

"söta bror... Don't leave me..." begged Norway even more pitifully.

Sweden pulled him up and gave him a concerned look.

"what happened?" he asked gently.

Now feeling a little more embarrassed, Norway nervously looked around.

"I just... It's just a bad dream..." he said vaguely.

Sweden gently guided Norway into his room and had him sit down on his bed.

"wait here..." he said.

Sweden left the room for a bit, then returned with a glass of water.

"drink..." he said, handing him the glass.

Norway did just that.

"are you sure you're okay? You look sick." Sweden remarked.

"not really... I'm a little... Shaken up." admitted Norway.

"you can talk about it if it'll help." suggested Sweden.

Norway nodded and began retelling the whole dream the best he could describe it.

Sweden listened as Norway described his dreams. How he was afraid that it meant something deeper that he just couldn't understand.

It was strange to him that no matter how many times Norway had this dream, he never seemed to remember who the figures were until they faded.

Sweden listened and nodded and waited for Norway to finish explaining.

"when I got too close to it, it almost went out..." he explained.

"the Iceland one?" asked Sweden.

"yeah... Do you think it means I'm hurting him by being near him?" asked Norway.

"what?"

"I feel so selfish for going to him for help so often... What if it's hurting him more than I thought?"

"Norway... Don't be ridiculous... Nothing in this world would hurt him more than being separated from you. If you're suggesting that you should keep your distance from him, you're actively trying to hurt him." said Sweden blatantly.

"so, what should I do?"

"you should start fixing your sleep schedule."

Norway sighs.

"I'm definitely not sleeping again after that."

"yes, you are."

"I don't want to go through that again."

"you won't. If you do, I'll be here, but you need sleep. It can't be helped."

"..."

"come on... You can sleep here. I'll be up for another three hours I expect."

"why?"

"to make sure you're alright."

"you don't have to do that."

"yes, I do. You're to me what Iceland is to you, if you need me, I'll be here."

Norway says nothing else. He leans against Sweden who begins rhythmically patting his back.

Norway's exhaustion creeps back in and he starts dozing instantly. He felt a lot better about this time. He knew he had someone to rely on if things went south.

In his sleep, Norway saw the same figures, only this time, the bigger of the two closest ones had finally seen him and he finally got to know what it felt like to touch these figures. He didn't recognise it, but he knew he loved it, and he knew that it loved him too.

A few hours later, the little one also saw him and it too wrapped him up in a warm embrace. Instead of dimming from his touch, it burned brighter.

The other two remained at their distance, but he still felt their love radiating off of them.

For the first time in a long time, Norway enjoyed a good night's rest, enveloped in the warmth of his two favourite people in the world who would ensure that he was never alone.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Is it way too sappy? Yes. Did I cry while writing it? Yes. Will it satisfy the ask? Probably not, but well, that's what happened.

I do feel the need to clarify even though it's probably obvious, but Iceland also noticing Norway refers to when he also joined him and Sweden.

The talk between Norway and Sweden is... A little dry, but that's because both of them suck at speech. Norway is horrible at explaining what he feels and Sweden is very matter-of-fact about these things.

Just in case the whole vibe of Norway's dream isn't clear, he feels like he's way too different and isolated from the others. It's not a rational fear, but to Norway it's very real. He's not necessarily terrified of being alone, it's being alone even when they're around is what he fears.

Finland and Denmark being at a constant distance in Norway's dream doesn't refer to them having a distant relationship. It's that Norway is generally closer to Iceland and Sweden and he feels more comfortable being himself around them.

Just like Sweden said, Norway is to him what Iceland is to Norway and by extention Iceland is to Sweden what Norway is to Sweden. They kind of have this little sub-family thing going on. It's not that he doesn't care about Denmark and Finland just as much.

This is actually related to a pretty old headcanon, so I'll restate it here. Norway has a horrible time with sleep and he usually goes to Iceland for these problems, but if he wakes him up too many nights in a row, he starts feeling guilty for disrupting his sleep so often.

The 'figures' having this sort of glowing factor represents the joy they bring into Norway's life. The reason the Iceland figure dims when he almost touches it the first time isn't a reflection of him being a negative influence on Iceland's life, it's just a reflection of his own fear of hurting him.

Yep, I think that's all that needs clarification. Thank you so much for the ask and I hope this mini fic was worth it.

[rotten-flesh-n-bones]

"which was one of the worst, loneliest, most miserable years of my life" Sending love. Would bake you a cake if I lived in Poland. Merry Christmas and happy holidays. Still here for you if you need anything, ever (and there it is — proof of my soul). - R

Awwe, thank you, I really appreciate it 🥺💝 Happy holidays to you, too, Rodka!! I wish you all the best, and may your Chornobyl research always be fruitful, scientifically correct, and historically accurate! And I hope your language studies are going well, too! I also really appreciate the cake offer - I'm sure it'd be absolutely amazing... and no dishes, unlike when I bake stuff myself haha

I'm going to be very honest and candid here. I usually try not to bring my grievances to this blog because I know everyone's here for my art and not me and my phenomenal personality of a stray dog with severe anxiety, but I'm also preeeetty sure everyone's noticing the gradual decline of the quality of my art as my mental health is on a downwards spiral... I like being fun and cringe in the most genuine me-way possible and not the pitiful husk of a person I feel like I am now.

It's been so very tough to deal with everything all by myself this year. It feels like it's just me against the whole world - not in a cool, cinematic way, but in a "I don't know if I'll make it to the other side" kind of way. If it wasn't for my one and only friend, I would have gone off the deep end by now, probably. It was supposed to be my year. Another year, another birthday I didn't celebrate. Everything was supposed to be getting better, and instead, everything got much, much worse. I'm disappointed in everything but primarily in myself because it's all my fault. It's weird because, on the other hand, I'm the most mentally stable I've ever been, but everything is just so bad.

An unfortunate discovery I made this year is that, apparently, the Christmas season makes me incredibly sad (I'm sure it's not hard to guess why by now). I wish I could at least indulge in basic consumerism to numb myself a bit, but, alas, I didn't get anything for Christmas from myself nor anyone else, so I can't really do that LMAO Can't even make hot chocolate because I ran out of chocolate bars and everything's closed 😔 Tis the end of the world, truly. The winter season is actually trying to kill me. It's always dark grey outside (at best), and I'm just soooo tired and sleepy all the time...

TL;DR: I'm really lonely and haven't been feeling well. I'm really sorry for the rant/vent/whatever you want to call it, especially TODAY, out of all the days. I honestly just really needed to get it out, one way or the other.

[masonsbfgaming]

HEY MON!!!!! I always want 2 know more about Val so here's a couple of questions!

Tell me one fact about him that you've never said but have always been dying to tell!

What's his relationship with Tina and Verda like? Did he tell either of them about the supernatural or not?

What's his relationship with Bobby and Douglas? Which path did he take with them?

omg hello hi 🫶 glad to see u here i always appreciate it when i can spew bs abt my ocs i hope this doesnt get long (update: it did)

1; val fact i wanted to tell 🤔 is probably that in my hc he spent some of his high school years in russia with his grandparents. (bc i think maybe rebecca got too busy, got too scared out of nowhere, or rooks side of the family insisted he learn more of his other side, who knows, i dont have a solid reason)

val already spoke fluent russian by then bc maybe rooks parents were a bit pushy and wanted to have a significant part in his upbringing so he visited them for extended vacation, but he had a brief time he lived there too, in my mind 😔 they lived in a much less fancy area than he does in the uk (wayhaven is there to me) so he was integrated into the world of slavic traditions over time (dont be mad at him if he reflexively smells your water bottle looking things) with the help of grampy and grammy 👍 also he does speak brazilian protugese due to rebecca. those and english he's fluent in but he knows a good chunk of things in spanish (i hc he learned it to impress bobby's family in uni years perhaps) as well as japanese for some reason (probably mandatory class for said uni?) (he originally took chinese mandarin but he cried his eyes out over how hard it was on week two and switched immediately)

2 ; vals relationship w tina and verda is. i'd say like alvin and the chipmunks. they r all soooo annoying together (yes even verda gets there) and even with bravo being vals found family, he's still very close to them. real friends who stick by you like that are rare and he knows it. so far i do Not have a canon in my mind for who'd he telly if he told either of them at all 😭 i feel like him keeping it hidden would be just hypocrisy because he was mad at rebecca for hiding it from him in the first place, but then again. it was a major thing he would've needed to know to protect himself in his own life, considering his blood made him a target. tina doesn't seem to have anything life altering unknowing entanglements with the supernatural world (as far as i'm aware??) like verda. val would probably want to help eric with that, because that kind of "lying" (it's not exactly lying as much as it's just. Not Telling?) takes a toll on someone, especially if it's someone they love dearly. from vals point of view, he'd want to help right that, but he's also not the type of person to meddle in people's business. so the canon wouldn't apply to him i think, he'd just. help eric behind the scenes or something. (though. ig him taking the metaphorical bullet for eric would make sense because what he IS is a 'die for you' type 😔 let's say he tells verda in canon)

3; this one is interesting bc i've been playing bobby route since the beginning of time, like. his and bobby's story is so elaborate and they have this complex relationship of "i hate you you're the worst thing that happened to me but i'll never let anything happen to you and i'll never let you go lonely" idk what caused that for them. i know on bobby's side is bc he fumbled the baddest bitch and he regrets it for the rest of his life, but val?? i guess it's just. "can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em"? anyway i have a whole dramatic playlist for them and it's led by rescue me by onerepublic & also my favorite line from that collection is "had the world in the palm of your hand/but you fucking choked" . it's actually crazy, i think it would make sooo much more sense for val to be on douglas route, bc one of his life's dreams was to Be a father and that could kinda manifest there i mean. having to keep doug safe and providing him a place of comfort, the ordeal with him turning supernatural and then val leading him into that life, guiding him through it like he wishes his mother had.... it would be nearly perfect ?? idk what got into me. chalk that up for bobby pretty privilege 🥲 also maybe the fact that i'm obsessed with exes to lovers for some reason (although val would defnitiely not touch that man w a ten foot pole, but. the Vibe, yknow.)

that's mostly it i always appreciate seeing u🫵 around im passing out

[annie05thehistorylover]

The worst feeling is when you feel lonely in a crowd of people. You feel empty inside😭. You just want to cry .You don’t feel comfortable to even talk to the ones closest to you 😔

[urbandeity]

hi Urban (´◡`)

hope you're doing well! omg the latest chapter of daddy's gone !!! (//ω//)

if you still answer to those, #21 #22 and #45 for the nosy asks

thank you (*^‿^*)

asjfhlasjfljasf thank you!! I'm so giddy and smiley and happy ehehbhebhe

21. Describe your best friend.

Only the most remarkable person?? Ever??? My god I'm obsessed with them. They're so incredible at making you feel validated and safe. They live their life to the fullest and encourage me to do the same, I swear I'd be so much more cynical and lonely without them. I have the fattest platonic crush on them fr

22. Tag someone you think is hot.

Wait but then I'd end up tagging all my mutuals 😭

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

Ooo I'm not sure! Maybe I'm just bitter but I was never fond of the first date I went on in one of my first real relationships, it wasn't much more than walking around the same lake everybody in my town goes to and getting some snacks, capped by a really unpleasant first kiss in his car. Ugh I know we're all teenagers and figuring ourselves out back then, but I wish younger Urban could've gotten a better introduction to romance than that one 😔

Thank you for the ask! I hope your week goes well ><

[page-matcha]

Hey hey!!

Replying back to my last ask. Sorry it’s so late 😩

Don’t get me started on being sick…I feel like since the start of the year until now I get sick for a few weeks and I feel better then I get sick again. NOOO not on Valentine’s Day… did you have anything special planned?

I ended up babysitting/house sitting for my aunt 🙄

Everytime i say I Will be back life throws another curve ball at me. Give me a break PLEASEE I wanna come and Interact with everyone 🥺💕

Hi Angie!!!!

Omg no I'M sorry for answering so late 😭😭😭😭

No, I didn't have anything planned for Valentine's day unfortunately 😔 it was just kind of a bummer that I ended up being sick too 😭 but my friend dragged me out of my house and hang out with them so I we both wouldn't be sad single lonely and depressed so if that counts 🤷🏻‍♀️

Wait did you babysit on Valentine's day? I mean not the worst way to spend it because you get to spend time with family kind of but at the same time that really sucks I'm sorry 😭

Omg im writing too much I'm just gonna say like one more thing

Take as much time as you need Angie <333 I've been off of Tumblr so I don't know if you're back now or not, but I'll be here supporting you ^^ 💜

[cozyboiii]

Truly one of the worst combinations of feelings are lonely and horny 😔

[nengpanet]

10/23/2023

why do you keep doing this to yourself?

why do you ask when you already know the answer?

do you think the blow would make it easier? or do you expect to be lied to to make you feel better?

why do you turn your head to the other direction when your instincts are screaming for you to run?!

you are so darn pathetic, I can’t even look at you without cringing 🤦🏻‍♀️

why? are the screws really turning loose?

when do you realize that people don’t really care, they have their own lives and problems to attend to.

i am just so lonely these days 😔

I don’t know how to handle the hurricane of thoughts in my mind and the tsunami of feelings overwhelming me these days.

I don’t know how to feel anymore

I am so used to being irrelevant, that when I get attention I over think on it. I feel that everything i was is temporary which is true and although I tell myself that, my heart crumbles and bleeds. the worst is i have no one to tell. I know I have the Lord with me all the time, I just feel so tired. I want a hug 😞