#one of the few recordings of this song has his voice break on the last repeated ''(and don't drift far from me)''

[voltas-do-mar]

when i was young on christened boat / "be strong," said amélie, "wind guide your sail from the lonesome pale / and don't drift out to sea." "(and don't drift far from me)"

[coucouatoi]

take it as a compliment | h.s.

Pairing: Harry Styles X Reader

Warnings: smoking, swearing, light angst, making out

A/N: Got a request for Outgoing Harry/Shy reader and then this happened. I'm actually so in love with this so I hope y'all enjoy :)

Summary: Your band is out of a main singer after a petty feud. The hunt for someone new is pure torture, not a single audition has peaked your interests. None until he walked in.

"Next!!" your band's drummer, Maeve, exclaims with an exasperated tone. The person who was auditioning scurries off the small stage, too embarrassed to say goodbye. They were the 10th person to audition today. Ten people have gone on stage and tried to show off their singing skills but no one has been even remotely close to good. You're starting to suspect that all of these people are pranking you. There's no way that this many people are tone-deaf... Right?

You look back up when you see someone new walking on stage. Your eyes widen in surprise when you see who's next to audition. Harry Styles, the myth, the legend. He's a star member of the swimming team, captain of the rugby team, honorary member of the debate team and the most sought-after guy at your university. He is probably the last person you expected to show up for your band's audition... You don't even know if he can sing.

"This is going to be hilariously, so happy we are filming" Riu, your band's bassist, chuckles under his breath. You shrug with a small smirk, guess he wants to join today's humiliating compilation of failed auditions.

"Hello everyone, I'm Harry Styles auditioning for lead singer? I guess" he laughs at himself, now this is something you've never seen... a nervous Harry? Could this be an act??

"Don't sound too excited now" Maeve rolls her eyes, "What are you going to sing?" she clicks her pen ready to write the title down.

"October by Broken Bells" he speaks more confidently into the mic now. Your eyebrows raise, shocked. You would have expected something a little more mainstream maybe something currently in the top 10 chart or even an old classic. Riu presses the record button on his camera and rearranges the tripod to better capture Harry.

"Whenever you're ready," You say softly as you hope for the best, your behind is really starting to hurt after sitting for so long hopefully you can leave the auditorium soon.

The man onstage takes a deep breath before pressing play on the acoustic track on his phone.

Soft guitar strings start playing and only a few seconds in Harry starts harmonising with the instrument before the lyrics come in. And when they do... Your jaw hits the floor. The voice that comes out of his mouth would have been impossible to imagine. It's not a very vocally powerful song but requires a certain knowledge of music to get it right. He sounds beautiful and enchanting.

Riu, who's sitting next to you, shakes your arm making you turn your head to him. He mouths "What the fuck?" and you only nod as an answer completely bewildered.

He doesn't move around the stage or anything, just stands in the same spot and sings. Sings better than anyone you've heard today. Better than your past lead singer you're sure. His eyes are shut in what you have to assume is concentration but he could just be too nervous to look at you and your bandmates. His dark hair is pushed back out of his face letting you see his features, his furrowed brows and the sheen of sweat on the tip of his nose.

The song ends and he finally opens his eyes, gagging your reactions. You make sure that you've closed your mouth not wanting one of the first times he really looks at you for your mouth to be wide open...

"Do you write your own songs?" Maeve breaks the silence.

"I have some written yes" he answers quickly, a small jitter going through his body. Excited that he wasn't immediately shooed off stage.

"Is this a serious audition or are you just joking around?" Riu then asks having had enough of this long and boring day.

"Serious, I love singing" he nods quickly, "And I think I'm pretty good at it" Ah! There's the cocky attitude you've gotten used to from him.

Maeve grabs your arms from across the table tugging you towards her, Riu in the middle simply lowers his head closer to hear what's about to be said.

"What do you think?" She asks looking deeply into your eyes. You nod before answering already conveying your approval.

"He's really good guys, winning the UK universities competition good" You definitely see him adding a lot to your group. He's got the charms, the voice and the confidence to get you all the way to the finals.

"We're really accepting Harry Styles into our band?" Riu sounds annoyed but you know that he approves of this choice too...

Here goes nothing.

-

It's officially been two weeks since Harry has become your lead singer and he has not been on time for any of your practices. He's always got some elaborate excuse explaining his tardiness. More often than not he demands multiple breaks to go out for a smoke "Helps the vocals ya know?" he laughs before leaving the room. Maeve is one hair off of kicking him straight out but you've unfortunately entered his name down for the UK competition... and Harry knows this. Both of your other members have tried to reason with him, without success so they've told you that it's your turn to try, and try you will.

There's one hour left and Harry is out on another smoking break you choose this time to go out and attempt to talk to him. You haven't had many one-on-one conversations with him since him joining you. You're still intimidated by his status, his popularity, his reputation, his looks...

After leaving your guitar behind, you head out to find him leaning against the brick wall of your school, his head is tipped up and cigarette hanging off his bottom lip. You take a deep breath before walking up to him, mentally preparing yourself for this conversation.

"Is it your turn to tell me about the importance of punctuality, darling?" his lips form into a smirk as he hears your thick heels crunch the gravel as you move towards him.

"I guess so, the other two didn't work" you shrug leaning on the wall next to him. "Why did you audition if you don't care?" you ask him in a hushed tone, still surprised you have to have a conversation like this with him.

You don't see it but Harry's body tenses. Guilt flows through his veins and he looks at you but you're looking at the ground.

"I do care" is what he answers.

"I'm sorry but I don't believe you" You shake your head and finally meet his gaze, "Are you late for any other extracurricular activity you're part of?" your tone is unbothered but Harry feels it sting him, as if you insulted him... maybe you did. He thinks about it and... well he's not. He prides himself on being a stellar member of everything he's a part of.

"Why don't you treat us like equals? We are all part of the same team here" you add with a tilt of your head actually curious for an answer.

"I... Look, our other two members treat me like I'm lower because of how I act and who I'm friends with" he plucks the cigarette out of his mouth and stomps it under his shoe. He runs his hands through his hair and sighs, "I've gathered that you're the reserved quiet type but not one of you has tried to get to know me, why should I make an effort when none of you want me here?" with how rapidly the words are leaving his mouth you know he's been holding all of this in. You're stunned to silence.

"I don't feel welcomed so I'm not making an effort anymore" he walks away from you and from the building, "I tried to mend the gap by inviting all three of you over to my mates party last week and none of you showed... my message was left on read in the group chat" he looks at you and you don't see any malice or anger just... sadness? Disappointed? You're not sure.

His confession pains your fragile heart. He was trying, he had tried and your bandmates and yourself had only damaged the already non-existent relationship.

"I've never been to a party, I'm not great in crowds" you try explaining, "I barely even make it through our gigs, I'm always the first to go home" Harry nods in understanding, grabbing another cigarette from the packet he has in his pocket and lights it.

"Still could have said something... I know Maeve and Riu hate me so I guess there's not much I can do about that" he shrugs as he takes a drag. He's trying to brush off the emotions he just let himself have in front of you.

"I should have, I'm sorry" you mumble your apology still shocked that you've managed to get this far.

It's quiet for a few minutes. Harry focused on finishing his cigarette, seemingly needing to ease the tension he felt.

"I'll be better about my tardiness," he says after a while. You nod, smiling slightly when he looks over at you.

"Let me know when your next party is, I'll try and go" you offer, a peace offering between you and him. He laughs and shakes his head.

"Sure, darling" he stomps his second cigarette out and walks back over to you "Won't invite those two losers tho" he smirks at you before walking back into the building. You roll your eyes with a laugh and follow him back inside.

-

Harry S

10 Pleasing Road, Tomorrow 9 pm

See you there?

You

What should I wear? Should I bring anything? How many people are going?

Harry S

Whatever you're comfortable in, nope just yourself ;) And about 20 people nothing crazy

You

Okay, see ya

-

Oh god. You have no idea what to wear and you can't possibly ask Maeve or Riu for advice they'd need to know what you're dressing up for. You've been procrastinating your outfit choice all day. Your makeup is done dark and mysterious just how you like, your hair is up and out of your neck predicting that it'll be too warm wherever you're going but you're only wearing underwear... a matching set sure but not an appropriate outfit for a public outing.

You look at the time on your phone and your breath hitches, you're already past your maximum departure time... you're going to be late. This is not good. You contemplate texting Harry and telling him you can't make it but you want to have a better relationship with him you want to make an effort.

You find a long dark red floral dress that you haven't worn in forever and decide that tonight it will stop gathering dust. There is a slight chill in the outside air so you grab the crochet bolero Riu made you for your birthday. It's black with a ladybug charm in the center of it, she lands perfectly in your cleavage. You rush out of your room and out of your shared flat with Maeve before she starts asking questions. You slipped on your go-to heeled boots before running out of the building.

The address Harry sent you is, surprisingly, only a 15-minute walk away from where you live. Keeping a rapid pace is all you're focused on so you can make it with as little delay as you can. Being late gets your anxious gears running like crazy, your internal and external clock always chanting "Early is on time, on time is late and late is unacceptable!". You can thank your mother for that one.

You make it to the one-story townhouse at 9:28, you hear music from the outside and a few cars parked in the driveway and on the sides of the roads.

You breathe in and out deeply as you make your way to the door, calming your heartbeat and yourself. This is your first uni party, the first party that isn't family or Maeve/Riu related. Your first big girl party. It's nerve-wracking but also a little exciting.

As you're about to knock you realize the door is already ajar, you don't overthink it and head inside.

Turns out Harry had been pretty spot on with the number of people at this gathering. Doing a quick scan of the living room, after going through the small entrance, most people are sitting down, drinking and smoking different things. Only a few people look your way but they go back to their original conversations quickly, unbothered by another presence. You spot a table filled with different liquor bottles and mixers and make a beeline for it. Before you start mixing a drink for yourself someone calls out your name.

"You made it!" you turn your head and spot Harry making his way towards you. He's all smiles and bright eyes, he's got a beer in his hand and a cigarette in the other.

"I did, sorry I'm late" you grimace thinking about it again.

"Pff, no one's on time at a party" he waves it off before taking a drag, he blows it out away from your face and looks down at the empty cup in your hand.

"Why isn't there a drink in your hand, darling?" he asks you in mock shock. You shrug and gesture to the table, "I don't know what to make"

He nods and asks for your go-to spirit. Once you tell him he starts making a mix, only using the one liquor, finishing it off with a scoop of ice and a straw.

"Voila!" he winks as he hands you the now full cup. You take a sip and hum appreciatively.

"This is really good thank you" you smile in gratitude. Any worries that have been clawing at you since the moment you accepted to come are slowly disappearing. Harry seems genuinely pleased that you've shown up and that makes the overwhelming feeling large crowds give you dissipate. You should be able to stay like this for a while now.

"You look really nice, darling, I love your style" he lifts himself onto a stool, carefully not to spill his drink or drop his cigarette.

You can feel heat crawl up your neck and onto your face, not used to getting compliments. It's not that you haven't dated or hooked up with people but it's not something that just happens. Flirting requires a lot of energy from you, you're quick to feel embarrassed and shut yourself out just to process it all. Not that you think Harry is flirting or trying to get with you, he's just a socialite who's not shy to say what he's thinking.

"Just threw on whatever" you shrug avoiding his gaze.

"I'm sure that's an understatement but nonetheless you look gorgeous" he winks as he takes one last long drag before putting out the cigarette in the ashtray next to him and then throwing it into a trash can.

He's quite captivating to watch; his eyes are dark, an attractive smirk is always present, and wavy hair moves around with him and his tattoos. God his tattoos! You knew he had loads just by having seen his arms but now his button-down is pretty much unbuttoned at this point. You see many more that you never knew existed and it's only making him more handsome. The butterfly on his sternum, the two swallows beneath his collarbones, the fern leaves peeking out of his jeans; a very dangerous and tempting combination. You'll let your imagination run wild later...

"Mh, so um what does one usually do at a party?" Ah yes, a very natural change in conversation! You go Y/N, you mentally mock yourself with a subtle shake of your head. Harry doesn't seem to mind the switch or notice your mental scolding because he answers truthfully.

"Depends what you're up to doing honestly, I know someone has weed somewhere so you can join the stoners..." you shake your head, not your vibe. "You can dance in the basement that's where the music is playing and people are grinding" You shrug at that option not completely opposed to it. "Or you could go in the yard and join one of the many drinking games happening" That is a good option for later in the evening.

"Take me dancing?" your voice is a little high pitched, not completely confident in yourself but you want to make the most of this. It's not every day you'll be doing this kind of thing.

Harry doesn't answer verbally but he does grab your hand and guides you. His grip isn't tight you could easily free yourself if you wanted to but you want to make it to the dance floor... and holding Harry's hand is quite pleasant.

As he had previously said, the dancing is happening in the basement. This is where you realize Harry is probably the worst counter you've ever met because in this room alone there are at least 30 more people. The space is huge and open; no walls just another makeshift bar, large speakers, some funky lighting and some overused-looking sofas.

Feeling brave you pull Harry towards the other people dancing, and he follows with no hesitation. The beat of the pop song is good and gets your hips moving quickly, you'll never admit it but cheesy pop music is your guilty pleasure. Harry quickly matches your moves, smiling as you dance together he almost looks surprised that you're doing this with him. When you realize you haven't let go of his hand you quickly spin away in a somewhat casual attempt to free yourself, not that the handholding was bad. You just don't want to make him uncomfortable or maybe get anyone he's into at this party to think he's unavailable. The thought of him leaving you right now does make your skin crawl but you focus on dancing back towards him to finish your super duper casual and unnoticed freeing.

"You're a natural, who knows under all that eyeliner and glitter you liked bubblegum pop" Harry jokes as you get close to him again. You laugh and shake your head.

"It's all a distraction, Styles, I'm good at distractions" You wave your hands in front of his face with a spooky witch tone of voice.

"I don't doubt that..." he grabs your hand again and pulls you close to him, careful not to spill either of your drinks.

You feel the heat of his palm travel all the way up your arm and down the other. He's now deliberately taken your hand twice. Twice in the same hour. Hell in the same 5 minutes! God, he's so intoxicating. Your friends would not approve of the thoughts you're having. Riu would scream bloody murder and Maeve... Maeve would never look at you in the eyes again.

You chug the remainder of your drink and toss your empty cup onto a nearby table, you mentally apologize to the person who will pick that up later. Harry follows your lead and places his now free hand on your waist pulling you even closer to him.

"What do you think of the party so far?" he leans into your space even more, softly asking his question right next to your ear. You hum first as you angle yourself towards his own ear to answer.

"Not as crazy as I've seen them in movies or TV shows... but I think I watch too much American television" You laugh at yourself but you quickly still when you feel Harry's lips touch your ear.

"What? You're missing some cheesy games and making out with strangers" he teases you, tightening his hand grip on your waist.

"Something like that yeah, ha" Your breath is quick and uncertain. Overthinking how you're even supposed to breathe normally because you know Harry hears and feels your every breath.

"Mh, let me satisfy your wishes then" he pulls back and winks. "Hey!", he exclaims, "Anyone wanna play truth or dare?" at his question many people cheer affirmatively and he drags you towards one of the couches where everyone else follows suit.

The couch you're now sitting on has obviously been occupied by many other butts and now your own but you try to get that thought out of your head.

"You go first Haz, you initiated" you hear someone with a thick accent say.

"Fine, fine... who wants to ask me?"Harry playfully rolls his eyes as he leans back, his arms splayed across the top of the couch.

"Truth or dare?" someone new calls out.

"Truth let's keep it tame for now" he answers the crowd. You hear some people whisper to each other, debating what question they should ask now that they have free will.

"Did you actually fuck Olivia Flores while she was dating your mate Niall?" a high-pitched voice calls out. Harry rolls his eyes and breathes out deeply.

This rumour had spread all over the school through all clicks and social groups. Olivia was the most beloved student you could think of. She loves speaking with anyone and everyone, she volunteers every other day, and she's never in a bad mood or at least never lets anyone see if she is. The only time that you've ever seen her smile gone was when the rumours started. When everyone was whispering about her cheating on her boyfriend with his best friend. Niall is basically the embodiment of a golden retriever and people took the news of him being cheated on very badly. She denied it endlessly and tried to get people back on her side because her friends ended up turning on her. Harry and Niall both denied the rumours but there was no stopping everyone else from saying what they wanted. Especially after their break up and her decision to switch schools...

"I've said it a million times before, no. Never. I never have and never will because I know how much they still care for each other" he clicks his tongue at the end, annoyed at the question.

Some questions still cross your mind but you decide that his answer is enough. You choose to believe all three of them in this, that their denial is truthful and that Niall and Olivia breaking up after had nothing to do with the rumours.

"Y/N, in honour of your request, truth of dare?" Harry brings your thoughts back to the present, where everyone is now looking at you... analyzing. These people don't know you so you let them watch you even if it makes your skin crawl.

"Dare" might as well go past your boundaries even more. You're getting to know a whole new you tonight, it's exciting.

"Kiss me" he murmurs close to your ear, having leaned into your space. You chuckle pushing him away playfully.

"Come on! Be serious this is my first party game!" you poke his chest with your nail and squint your eyes. He can't just tease you like that! Pfff.

"Serious? You don't think I'm serious" he tilts his head to the side. His expression is unreadable and it makes you question whether he's being a goof right now or if he really wants to kiss you. Why would he want to kiss you out of anyone here?

You roll your eyes and push his face away from you. He looks shocked for a moment before letting a breath out, it almost sounds disappointed... can air sound a certain way? You're definitely overthinking this.

"A real dare please!" you squint your eyes at him in a playful manner. He shakes his head at you with a crooked smile, he's bewildered but you don't know that. You don't know how much he yearns for you right now. How much you attract him or how much it means to him that you're trying. Really trying to know him and make him your friend.

"Fine, I'll settle for the cheek" he winks and points to his right cheek which is inches away from your face.

You assess his expression, he's smirking again obviously happy that his teasing is affecting you. Ever so slightly furrowing his brows in worry that you'll reject that too. So. In honour of your first-ever big girl party, you do it. You kiss his cheek and you play dirty a little bit. Pressing your lips right to the corner of his lips. Right where they merge into the skin of his face.

"There! Now who's next?" you exclaim excitedly turning back to the group of people. A girl you don't know raises her hand and you dare her to do a shot of her least favourite alcohol. She walks off in search of it and your head is turned back towards Harry by a gentle hold on your chin.

"You're such a tease, gorgeous" his voice is soft but rugged almost sounding bothered by something... by someone?

"How so?" your lips form a small smile as you take a sip of your beer, you're conveniently sat next to a cooler full of them.

"You're irresistible" he replies with dark eyes, the hand on your chin moves to your cheek. The tips of his fingers tangling in your hair almost scratching at your scalp.

You don't completely understand how he's saying that about you when he looks the way he does. His hair is falling gorgeously onto his face as he looks at you, his eyes are dark and inviting, lips parted and numerous tattoos still on display.

"What are you going to do about it?" Wow! You're feeling brave tonight good on you! It might be the drinks you've been working at starting to make the anxiety you previously had melt away. Making the nerves calm and the fear of embarrassing yourself much less important.

"What do you want me to do about it?" his lips brush your own as he whispers his answer. You hadn't realized how close you'd gotten to each other; your chest is pressed to his, thighs seemingly glued together at the side, hands holding onto whatever part that isn't yet connected...

Before you can answer and quite possibly take him up on his first dare, your phone rings in your lap. You jump in surprise but Harry's strong yet gentle hold on you doesn't waver, he keeps you close to him. You glance down at the screen and see that Riu is calling you, the terrible selfie he took for his contact picture staring back at you. He has the habit of "stalking" you and Maeve on the Snapchat map, he says it's to make sure you're all in your usual spots. And... well... right now you're definitely not in one of your usual spots.

"Are you going to answer?" Harry asks with a slightly annoyed tone. You look at him again breaking eye contact with Riu's picture. You shake your head and take a deep breath, encouraging yourself. Harry's eyebrow raises in confusion but before anything else can be said you surge forward. You connect your lips to his desperately, forgetting everything else around you.

Harry's hand, the one that was on your cheek, reaches to the back of your head and pulls you closer. Deepening the kiss more than you thought possible. His other hand wraps around your waist and pushes you forward making your chest completely stuck to his. Your hands busy themselves as well, your right one tangles into his curls and your left grabs onto his forearm almost in an attempt to brace yourself. His tongue meets yours making you moan in pleasure. Who knew making out with someone could feel so good?

Harry doesn't stop, not for one second, as if he'd been wishing to do this for a while. He has but you obviously don't know that. He's been interested since his audition, he had seen your band before but never interacted. He always thought you were gorgeous but never had a chance to see if there could be any chemistry between you both. And now? Lord.

Someone around you hollers and it snaps you out of the bubble that surrounds both of you. You jerk away from Harry putting as much distance between you as you're able to on the otherwise cramped sofa.

"You two better go off to somewhere more private before we all need to bleach our eyeballs" The person sitting next to Harry laughs as he nudges him on the arm, shaking both of your bodies against each other. Harry shakes his head and playfully punches the person but you stare at him shocked. Shocked that you were just fully making out with him, shocked that he wanted to make out with you... Shocked that you're kind of wishing it kept going.

When Harry's head turns back towards you, you can't help but meet his gaze. Your own eyes are wide and just now getting back to focus, they had gone hazy with want but you won't admit that to yourself just yet.

"Let me walk you home? I know you have an exam first thing in the morning tomorrow" He asks sincerely, wanting to make sure you don't miss any essential studying you might want to do.

"Um, sure, a party on Wednesday is weird..." You shake your head in thought now just realising that you had completely forgotten about the test.

"Makes hump day less humpy I guess" he shrugs with a teasing smile before standing and helping you up off the sofa.

The walk back to your flat is entertaining. You get to know your new bandmate even more, truly getting to know him as a person. You share about yourself as well not wanting the conversation to seem one-sided. Turns out drinking a little alcohol makes you chatty.

Somehow, your left hand has interlocked with Harry's right one. How and when this happened you're not sure all you know is that you've had a painfully obvious blush on your face and neck ever since. You don't attempt to break the hold because... well... you really don't want to.

"Well, this is me" You turn to face Harry as you speak. You gesture to your complex vaguely still wanting to talk with him.

"Mh, quaint," he says without even looking at the building.

"Guess this is goodnight then" Your lips form into a small pout, disappointed that you have no real excuse to stay around Harry anymore.

"Guess so... I'll see you at practice tomorrow?" his hand tugs you towards him gently, leaving only inches between you. You bite your lip and nod as an answer all words having vanished from your mind. He smirks and bends down to press his lips on yours one more time. This kiss is much different than the one you previously shared, this one is only a short peck barely even qualifies as a kiss. You instinctively follow when he parts from you desperate for a real kiss.

"What's wrong pretty?" he's teasing you and you know it.

"Kiss me properly... leave me regretting coming back home to study instead of staying at yours" There's a sentence you never imagined yourself saying. You're feeling like a completely new you. Maybe it's the liquor in your system but Harry stops the nerves and the overthinking that's always going on in your head. He feels like a breath of fresh air and that is so fucking hot.

Harry doesn't hesitate to reconnect your lips again for a real kiss. He bites and drags your bottom lip towards him you moan at the feeling, quickly wrapping your arms around him to deepen the contact. Your tongue meets his between your mouths, it's not a battle, feels like they've been waiting to reconnect since they parted ways at the party.

"You're so hot Y/N" Harry practically moans out before slamming his lips back against yours.

Kissing someone has truly never felt this good.

-

The exam you only spent about 45 minutes studying for ended up being a total breeze as it was open book. Your nerves had immediately vanished when you'd stepped into the auditorium and read that on the board. But now your nerves are back up as your final period is about to end. Band practice is after this. You'll have to face Harry in front of both of your other friends... who have no idea that you've made out with the new member... twice.

Harry hasn't stopped messaging you all day thanking you for giving him a chance again and asking if he could take you out after practice. You haven't answered yet, every time you try to write one up your fingers word vomit and you end up deleting your drafts. You want to say yes to him but you feel like you might be braver telling him face to face.

When you hear your professor announce that he's dismissing you early you practically jump out of your seat. This could be the perfect opportunity to go see Harry early. He's been done with class for about an hour now and is already at the auditorium waiting so you rush over. You don't take the time to put away your pencil case or your notebook, keeping them in your hands as you make your way.

"Hope you haven't been ghosting me, sweetheart" Harry calls out immediately as you walk into the auditorium. He's lying down on the edge of the stage, a leg hanging off the side with his phone in hand above his head. He doesn't turn to look at you but you can't blame him so you're quick to walk to him ready to explain yourself.

"I wasn't I swear! I just kept overthinking my answers... thought I'd have an easier time answering in person" you tell him as you put down your things on one of the seats.

"Understandable, things can be more complicated to convey through a screen" his answer lifts a weight off of your shoulders. You were so worried he wouldn't understand.

"So, I'm glad you gave me a chance to get to know you" you start, "I know we weren't very welcoming and I'm sorry" You tentatively place your hand on Harry's chest, between both of his pecks.

"It's okay gorgeous, I know it's cause you were just so intimidated by my hot bod" he lightens the mood with his joke and you're so grateful.

"Mh, sure" you tease him with a shake of your head.

He gasps in mock offence batting your hand away from his chest. You laugh at his antics,

already thinking up your next answer. Harry doesn't let the hand that was on him go far grabbing it and tugging you closer to him.

"As for your other texts... I'd really like to go out with you later tonight" Your voice turns very weak at the end of your sentence, shyness taking over. Harry chuckles and tugs you to him again.

"You're so cute, darling" he smiles softly, "I'm glad I didn't scare you off" his free hand reaches out and wraps around your neck to cup your nape. He pulls your face down to his kissing your lips, once, twice, thrice...

"Riu and Maeve are going to be so confused when I tell them" you chuckle. Your friends might actually faint when you tell them you're going on a date with the Harry Styles.

"Let's just let them walk in while we kiss, easy way to announce it," he says with a wink. You smile and bend back down to lock lips... addicted to the way he feels.

"Or, you could write a song about how good kissing me is" you joke as you whip your hair backwards in an attempt to joke. Harry, however, takes your suggestion seriously.

"I've already got five written in my head, six if you kiss me again right now" And who are you to deny helping his creative juices?

You do end up shocking Maeve and Riu with your "very inappropriate spit swapping" Maeve's words, not yours.

[revolutionsingingintherainnn]

Hey girl! I absolutely love your work. The way you write Desi reader is phenomenal

I was hoping you could write a Lando fic where he and Reader go to a trampoline park for a date and he's live streaming. He sees that she's very sweaty from all the fun and he comments on it and she says "as if you could make me this sweaty, Norris" AND IT GETS CAUGHT ON CAMERA

If you're not comfortable with the last part maybe only the trampoline park date?

Sweaty Opportunities ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

ᰔᩚ ln x reader 🧸ྀི

ᰔᩚ fluff + humour + smau 🧸ྀི

masterlist ☾☼

date days were y/n's favourite, even more than date nights. of course, date nights had a different class of its own. with the wine, and the fine dining, and the pretty dresses and suits that always end up on the floor of the living room because they couldn't wait to make it to the bedroom. it was amazing, definitely.

but, y/n tended to enjoy the date days more. it contained of spending the entire day exploring, eating, and just being kids. they would be in far more comfortable clothes, and would walk around hand-in-hand everywhere. most of their date days were usually lando's ideas, and they were always something reckless and exhilarating. it always made lando's face a pretty red that y/n could never stop kissing.

this particular date, lando had told her that he was going to be making another landolog since it had been a long time. y/n had readily agreed, well aware of how much lando enjoyed making the landologs.

"babe, are you ready?" his voice called out from the living room.

"coming!" y/n replied, trying to get her anklet untangled from her sock so that it didn't break.

lando stood at the door of the room, with the camera in his hand, "chat, this happens every time! i tell her we need to leave at 12, she starts getting ready 12!"

"liar! i was ready to go before you!"

"apparently not, seeing that i've worn my shoes and everything, and you still only have on sock on," lando teased.

"my anklet got stuck again," y/n looked at him with the best puppy eyes she could.

lando sighed, always unable to resist her cute face, "fine, hold the camera,"

she smiled, making a funny face at the camera before she turned it around to record lando. the man had knelt on the floor, and was focused on getting her anklet untangled.

"he's such a nice boy, taking care of me. mumma approves of you too, na," y/n cooed at him.

lando smiled, shaking his head at her, knowing that she was making fun of him. he made a sound from the back of his throat, acknowledging that he heard her. y/n ran her fingers through his hair, talking in the camera how soft his hair was, and how she was envious of it.

"alright, done," lando said, as he stood up after untangling the anklet. he offered his hand to y/n, and she took it, standing up. lando pulled her close to his chest, the camera stuck between them.

y/n laughed, "lan! you're crushing the camera!"

lando pressed a kiss to her lips, and said, "well, they didn't need to see that anyway,"

the two grabbed their essentials, still bickering and bantering, laughing into the camera, as they left the apartment, and into the car.

the camera recorded the couple singing (read as: screaming) taylor swift songs on their way to lando's surprise date location.

"where are we going?" y/n asked.

"we're almost there, lovie. a little more patience."

"look who's talking about patience!" y/n turned towards the camera, and said, "this man has the least amount of patience i've ever seen, okay?"

"that's not true!"

"you almost burned down our home because you decided to set the oven at double the temperature because you thought it would cook quicker!"

"logically, it makes sense!"

"its a miracle we have a roof over our heads, lando!"

he laughed, a loud, shrieking kind of laugh. 

pulling into the parking lot, lando turned off the ignition, and quickly grabbed the camera to catch y/n’s face change from confusion, to understanding, to childlike excitement. he knew this was one of the few places y/n had always wanted to come to, and now, she would finally have the opportunity. 

“you got me to a trampoline park!” y/n shrieked. 

lando winced at the loud sound, but smiled nonetheless, “happy date day, baby!”

y/n wrapped her arms around her boyfriend’s neck, the camera forgotten on his lap, as he hugged her back. “thank you, thank you, thank you!” she whispered. 

“i love you,” he whispered back. 

she kissed him, letting him know that she loved him too. 

getting out of the car, y/n jumped excitedly as lando laughed, holding the camera. seeing lando lock the car, y/n immediately began running towards the entrance. zooming on the camera to show just how far she had ran, lando said, “chat, she’s a little crazy, but i’m so head over heels for her,” 

following y/n inside, lando handed her the camera as she showed the place around and yapped. meanwhile, he paid for the tickets, and walked to where y/n was. she had been standing by the popcorn machine, talking to the camera like she was talking to another human. sneaking behind her, lando wrapped his arms around her waist and picked her up. y/n laughed, but let him walk towards the entrance of the trampoline park.

she set the camera down, angling it towards them, as the couple removed their shoes, and stored it in one of the cubicles. 

“so, how long are we here?” y/n asked. 

“well, it’s three hours of jumping and bouncing-” 

“that’s what she said,” 

“-and then we go out for lunch, and have cheesecake for dessert, and back home, where we can either sleep or do other things if we have more energy,” lando finished. 

y/n smacked his arm, “you better edit that out!” 

“you’re the one with the dirty mind! i just meant we could bake something or have a movie marathon!” 

“you’re lying, you liar!” lando laughed as he ran from y/n’s smack attack. 

grabbing the camera, he ran inside, immediately bouncing and gaining more speed than y/n. but, she wasn’t far behind. though, once she began jumping on the trampolines, her smack attack on lando was quickly forgotten. the couple went through every zone the park had to offer, playing trampoline basketball, jumping into a ball pit, and obstacle courses that were almost everywhere. 

y/n pushed lando often, laughing every time he fell and bounced back. lando returned the favour. they challenged each other to stupid things, like who could jump the highest. 

“it’s not fair! you’re taller than me! of course, you jumped higher than i did!” 

“that sounds like a you problem, lovie!” 

“bitch!”

or, they challenged each other to who could fall the farthest in the ball pit. 

“i totally won!” 

“no, you didn’t! you moved the balls from the sides, so now we don’t know!” 

“oh, quit crying just ‘cause you lost!” 

“you lost!” 

most of the challenges were unfair for y/n, given that lando only proposed the ones that would benefit him, and in her excitement, she wouldn’t realise it until after she lost. she did try to trick him and win, and that worked. lando said it didn’t count, but everyone knew who the boss was. 

“ready? three, two, one, go!” 

“ow, ow, ow, ow,” 

“lovie? you okay? what’s wrong?”

“i think i twisted my ankle,” 

“oh, baby, lemme see,” 

“ha! tricked you!” 

“wha-? hey! no fair!” 

“sorry, can’t hear you from the finish line!” 

their friendly competitions had resulted in red faces shining from sweat, and bright smiles. the day was exactly what they needed, and y/n had plans to show just how grateful she was to lando for planning such a date. they exchanged kisses, played with the other kids in the park, and tried to outdo one another. it made y/n fall more in love with lando. 

the camera facing towards them, lando watched as y/n jumped on a trampoline square behind him, spreading her arms and legs, making a star every time she was in the air. 

“you’re so sweaty,” lando commented as he looked at his girlfriend’s flushed face. 

y/n smirked, “it's because of the jumping around for three hours. as if you could ever make me so sweaty, norris,” 

his mouth fell open as he processed her retort. she laughed at his expression, and began jumping away. lando quickly grabbed her hand and said, “as if i could ever- come on, we’re going home,” 

“what? why? we still have lunch left!” 

“nope. i’m going to show you just how sweaty i can make you,” 

y/n laughed but followed. she wasn’t going to pass on an opportunity like this. she’d never.

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hi! i tried to make this desi!reader, but i just didn't find a lot of places where i could incorporate that, so i tried my best to stick to a neutral, imagine-what-you-like character. i hope you enjoy this! i've also got a link for my taglist, prompt list, and all of that you can find here!

[songbirdseung]

dwba / yang jungwon

synopsis: you keep listening to the same song, making your boyfriend very concerned and worried that you are trying to say something, jungwon version for @laylasbunbunny

pairing: yang jungwon x reader, established relationship

warnings: a little angsty, crying, relationship troubles, hint of breakups

wc: 948

Everyone perceived you and Jungwon to be the picture-perfect couple, bound to last forever, and a match made in heaven. With the way you two handle issues and conflict maturely and go through life, hand in hand, side by side. It was weird for the rest of Enhypen to walk into the dorm, being met with a stressed Jungwon sitting on the couch with his face in his hands.

A week ago, you and Jungwon fell into a misunderstanding. Unlike solving it like you both usually do, this time; things were just to heavy and needed to be thought upon before making any decisions that you both might regret.

By doing so, in your self loathing time; you were indulging and basking in the moment that you don't get to experience so often, you play music to accompany you, alongside with your tears and dirty tissues.

"The lyrics are 'So, I take my time to self-soothe', not self loathing"

Placing down a new tissue box for you, your sister also offers a shoulder to cry on. The assumption that you had of you crying silently was wrong, since your sister told you how she could hear you sobbing from outside the house. An exaggeration just to hopefully get you to laugh.

While it did get you to chuckle, a few block down, your boyfriend was not.

Jungwon just got back from a busy day filled with dance practices, recordings, and content filming. But not having to be in contact with you for over a week, distracted his senses and or mind to even realize that his body was in total fatigue.

Now, sitting on the couch, regretting the decision to allow you both to sit this one out and to not fix it right away. Slumping on the couch, thinking why on earth did he agree that it was the right idea to let you out of his sight. Sluggishly reaching over to his bag and fetching out his phone to open the contacts, he's hesitant to call you.

After a few minutes, he still in the same position, has yet to call you or even get up to wash up and rest to repeat the same day tomorrow.

His thoughts were interrupted for a second when he heard the door open, but immediately went back to the depths of regret. His members slowly make their way inside, spotting the young one.

"Jungwon? you good?" Jake inquires as he steps closer to the couch, standing behind Jungwon, patting him on the head.

"Does he look good to you, idiot?" A chuckle follows after Jay replies to Jake's not so smart question. The rest follows pursuit except Jungwon. Once they realized that, they finally understood that this was serious. They all huddle up on the couch and try to talk some sense into their leader.

Soon later, with enough convincing, Jungwon is up and running to your place. Flowers in hand with your favorite snacks in a bag. Eventually with successfully saving himself from tripping over things, he's at your door, hopeful that he'll succeed again with fixing things with you.

He knocks on the door and your sister opens the door. She offers him a small smile, a hug with a good luck. Giving him a little more confidence that he needed. He makes his way upstairs to your room and from outside the door, he hears your sweet voice that he missed so much. He loves to hear you sing and he always jokes how you could steal his job. But this time, he isn't that pleased to hear you sing lyrics that are making him question that you hate him at this point.

He stands there, in denial. As he hears you sing the next song. He's thinking how the titles and message of the songs casually just goes along with the predicament you both are in with your relationship.

I don't wanna fuck with your head It's breaking my heart To keep breaking yours again

Taking in a deep breath and exhaling, he takes hold of the doorknob and slowly opens the door. Being met by your back facing him as you sit on your bed with your speaker blasting 'Don't Want to Break up Again' by Ariana Grande. You don't even notice the new presence in your room as you switch the song after it ended.

If the sun refused to shine Baby, would I still be your lover? Would you want me there?

Again, he loves you singing but as you sing along to the lyrics with tears streaming down your face, he's not the happiest guy right now.

"Yes, you'll always be my lover" finally mustered up the courage to interrupt your mini concert to your plushies. You wipe your eyes, making sure that you're not hallucinating and Jungwon was actually sitting down next to you. "Are your songs trying to tell me something?" He jokes while cleaning up your face, wiping away the tears that can't seem to stop from flowing out your eyes.

After calming down a little, you explain how you were just in your feels and wanted to sing the pain away. Jungwon nods but couldn't help to call you dramatic in a joking manner, no harm intended whatsoever. You nudge him and rebuttal.

"For a second there I thought you were gonna break up with me"

Taken a back, you start asking him why you would ever end the relationship that you loved being in for almost 2 years now. He replies with how your music choice is making uneasy.

"Oh, you don't listen to sad songs when you're sad?"

"No, cause Ni-ki would make fun of me"

[bunnliix]

When Eight Becomes Nine - Chapter Three

Chapter three has arrived! And we have some time with Mingi and Hongjoong in the studio!

Pairing: Ateez x 9th member!reader Summary: Studio time with Mingi and Hongjoong, is interesting, plus a surprise appearance from another member of Ateez! wc: 1.7k AU: a/b/o Genre: Fluff/Angst warnings: Angry Joongie and Mingi, yelling, delusional people, anxiety because of said yelling, Hongjoong isn't having any of it masterlist

They all entered the room, finding Mingi sitting in one of the two chairs pulled up to the desk. He waved at them all as the group walked in, y/n being the last to enter. Hongjoong shut the door after she had entered, blocking the staff member from entering. He moved quickly to sit back down in the other empty chair, looking very closely at every one of, as he called it, the lucky group that managed to make it this far. The reactions varied, a couple of the alphas tried to intimidate him right back, though most understood it was better to have as minimal of a reaction as possible.

“You’re here so we can evaluate your vocal abilities. If you don’t bring your best, don’t think you’ll be getting close to the chance at becoming the ninth member of Ateez.” Hongjoong told them, his voice still gruff and unhappy. It made y/n shrink into herself slightly, though she tried to hide her reaction, not wanting this to be perceived by either alpha.

Hongjoong quickly picked one of the alphas to head into the recording booth, as he had already placed the lyrics sheet for the song they’d all be using to test their abilities inside. Allowing a few minutes for the first alpha to warm up, Hongjoong then launched right into testing their vocal range and abilities. It seemed despite their outward confidence, neither idol was impressed by how the alpha was doing inside the booth. Y/n wasn’t sure if it was them being nervous, or if they truly weren’t able to sustain any of the notes, since their voice cracked multiple times during just one run through of Wonderland. She could see that as they continued to try, the two men just became more and more frustrated with their inability to get through the song without any flaws.

“Okay, I think it’s time for you to take a break.” Hongjoong told them, instructing them to come back out of the booth, and sending one of the betas in.

Hongjoong sent the next auditionee inside, hoping that they would be better than the first one. They were better, but they definitely needed more vocal training if they were going to be able to be a part of Ateez. And more stamina, since they seemed to tire easily. He exchanged a glance with Mingi, and could see that the younger man's thoughts were similar to his own.

This was how it went for most of the group, though there were a good few that were amazing vocally, though he wasn’t sure of how they did dance wise, but vocally they would fit the group, and had the ability to hit every single note. That was until they reached one of the last to head in. It was clear from the moment that this alpha walked into the room, that she exuded an air of superiority and arrogance, her confidence was falsely inflated.

She entered the recording booth, and quickly situated herself. “I’m ready.” She told the two men.

Mingi looked over at Hongjoong, but the captain just proceeded to turn on Wonderland, as it was one of the more difficult songs, and after this all not going to plan for the most part, plus his anger at the company being directed in the wrong direction, he wanted to really test out this alpha’s actual skills. He had a hunch that the confidence wasn’t backed by actual skills and not to be stereotypical, but she seemed like a ‘daddy’s money buys everything’ kind of girl.

Hongjoong, as he was most of the time, was correct. She was even worse than the others had been. He was honestly clueless how she even got to this point, other than the thought that daddy dearest paid off whoever was choosing the group that would get to come here. Because while the others had some form of talent, she could barely hold a note, and was almost tone-deaf. He hoped that anyone who had heard her sing was compensated heavily for the damage it caused to their ears. How no one had told her she shouldn’t sing, was beyond him.

“Okay. Stop.” Hongjoong told her, but she continued to sing, intent on finishing the song, and also butchering Jongho’s high note, since that was the next part of the song.

“Stop. It.” He told her again, when she was clearly ignoring him.

“Yah! Hyung told you to stop!” Mingi half shouted into the microphone, shutting off the song so she could no longer hear it.

“I was just about to get to the best part and nail it! Why did you stop!?” She said, and Hongjoong was in disbelief at how she thought she’d nail their maknae’s part when she could barely nail any other part of the song. Though, she clearly was delusional anyways, so it probably was par for the course.

“You have no talent. You would have butchered Jongho’s amazing high note, not nail it.” He was blunt with her, having no patience to sugar coat it. Honestly, did no one actually vet the auditionees before bringing them here? Like the fuck?

She stormed out of the booth, coming chest to chest with Hongjoong as he stood up. Mingi stood up as well, the tall alpha coming to stand behind his pack alpha. He knew his pack alpha was more than capable of defending himself, but he would never hesitate to provide backup.

“You’re obviously wrong, everyone in my life has told me that I am the best singer they’ve heard. You should just get your ears checked.” The female alpha told Hongjoong, and the anger that immediately rolled off of the two idols was felt by everyone else in the room, and y/n who had already been slightly on edge because of Hongjoong’s tone the entire time, was worried that a fight would break out. But she also knew better than to step in to try and break things up. It wouldn’t end well for anyone if she did.

All of the eyes in the room were on the two alphas, and no one dared to speak as they didn’t want two angry alphas at their throat.

“I don’t know who you bribed to get here, or how you are delusional enough to think you are even the slightest bit talented vocally, but you are not. You can leave now. I don’t work with untalented people, and that includes you.”

“Excuse me?” The alpha replied, “Fine. If you don’t want me, then I’ll go to JYP, or SM, or HYBE. They’ll be begging for someone as talented as me to join their companies.” The confidence in her voice was staggering. Y/n couldn’t believe how much she believed in her non-existent talent, but she wished that she could be that delusional. Multiple of the other auditionees had the same thought, they couldn’t believe what they were hearing.

“I’d love to see that. But somehow, I think daddy would be the one paying your way into the smallest companies possible. Besides, I never wanted a new member, none of us did. So if you think you, any of you, are going to just come in and take the spot of a ninth member, you can think again. I want you all gone.” Hongjoong spat, looking at the rest of them halfway through his words.

“Hongjoong-” “Mingi, shut up. You can’t say you had the same reaction to learning about this yesterday. None of us want any of you here, and honestly, you can all go ahead and leave.” The captain finished, anger clear on his face.

“I think it might be best for you all to leave now. I’ll let the staff know we’re done here for today.” Mingi told all of them, trying to lessen the blow that Hongjoong had just delivered.

Y/n was the first to leave, needing to get out of the environment, and that kicked everyone else into motion as well, leaving the two alphas with the delusional alpha in the room. That was until they watched security enter the room and drag her out. No one said a word as they watched her be dragged out while yelling some phrases that even Draco Malfoy wouldn’t dare to say.

They all stood there in the hallway outside of the studio, waiting to see if any of the staff members would show up. Someone did show up, just not who they expected.

“Why are you all waiting out here? Did Hongjoong not let you in?” Seonghwa questioned, looking concerned.

“We kind of got kicked out.” Aaron spoke up, being the one brave enough to do so.

“Why did he kick you out?” Seonghwa said, looking confused.

“He was unhappy, to put it simply.” Aaron replied, and the others, including y/n confirmed his words with nods.

This was when Seonghwa focused his attention on the others, and quickly realized that there was an omega within the group. He quickly moved to put himself in front of y/n, who shyly looked up at him, intimidated by the older omega.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you. What’s your name?” He asked her, to which she responded, introducing herself.

“Oh that’s such a cute name. I think you already know who I am, so it’s a little bit of a waste to introduce myself.” He said, smiling down at her. They weren’t that far apart in height, but he still had to look down at her, just a little bit.

“Oh!” He said, suddenly reminded of something, “You should meet Wooyoung. I’m sure you two are close in age, and that little troublemaker always complains about wanting more omega friends.” He told her.

He reached out and grabbed her hand, shocking y/n though Seonghwa doesn’t think much of it, and pulled her away from the group, back down the hall where he came from. “Come on, we’ll go see him now. Plus I’m sure you’ve had a tiring day, if Hongjoong got upset at all of you. So we can go see Wooyoung and introduce the two of you, and then you can relax while I will go and scold my pack alpha for being so aggressive to you and everyone else.”

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[avatar-anna]

Assistant! Reader x Harry Styles Masterlist

April 2016

“Thank you for meeting me.”

Y/n settled into the seat across from Harry. Her hands curled tightly around her mug, apprehension seeping into her bones. “Of course.”

She had been surprised when Harry called her, asking to meet at the Beachwood Cafe. She hadn’t heard from him in months, not one call or text, not even an email. Not that Y/n really expected much when One Direction finally went on hiatus, but after zero communication, she wasn’t quite sure why he’d called her all these months later. 

“How are you? I haven’t seen you in ages,” Harry asked.

Y/n’s eyebrows raised a bit, but she answered him anyway after taking a sip of her coffee. “Fine, I guess. You?”

“Good!” Harry said excitedly. “Taking a break the last few months has been…I don’t know. Peaceful, but odd, you know? I’ve never had so much time to myself before.”

“Must be nice,” Y/n said, trying to hide the irritation in her voice.

“Yeah, but I realized that I kind of miss it,” he said. “I knew once we decided on the hiatus that I wanted to do my own thing, but I thought I would take a longer break, but I feel like I’m…itching to get back to work.”

That definitely seemed like Harry. Y/n had worked for him for years, and even when there were breaks between tours, he was hard at work—writing, going to Fashion Week, collaborating with other artists, vocal training, even trying new recipes in his state-of-the-art kitchen, which led to a phone call at one in the morning where Harry asked Y/n to come over and see if his macrons tasted "fluffy enough." It seemed only right that he rested for mere months before starting a new project. She could practically picture him at either of his homes in LA or London, scribbling in his leatherbound journal or playing new melodies on his guitar or piano (and the occasional late-night pastry party). As long as she’d known him, Harry had been a hard worker through and through. A little on the wild side when he had some tequila in him, but when it came down to his career, he was focused, determined. 

“Good for you,” Y/n said, meaning it. She always thought he was capable of more. “So what comes next for you? Have you recorded songs already?”

“Not quite. I’m planning a trip to Jamaica to write and record there. It’s remote, serene, a good place to get away. So we’ll have to start booking flights and places to stay and—”

“I’m sorry, ‘We?’” Y/n asked, her brow furrowing with confusion. 

Harry matched her look of confusion with one of his own. “Yeah, I mean—I need you. I can’t do this without you.”

The sentiment warmed Y/n’s heart for a moment, but his immediate assumption that she would drop everything just because he asked her to brought the irritation swarming back. “Mr. Sty—Harry, you know I don’t work for you anymore, right?”

“What do you mean? Are you talking about the hiatus? I just thought we could all use some time off, but…I guess I just thought—”

Harry didn’t finish his thought, but his cheeks were flushed with embarrassment. Y/n would’ve found it cute if he hadn’t been so dense. Resentment still circled around her like a fog, and she wouldn’t let it go so easily, she couldn’t. 

“I was employed by your management, Harry. To be an assistant to a member of One Direction,” Y/n explained. “I was let go. I had to quickly find another job doing something else.”

“Oh.”

Y/n supposed she should’ve anticipated being fired, but she didn’t. There was a lot of information that she was privy to that most people weren’t, secrets that were tightly bound by an NDA when she was first hired, but talks of the hiatus was very hushed. She knew to suspect that somewhere down the line the boys would finally take a break, but it came a lot sooner than she was prepared for, and she was left jobless before she had the chance to line something else up. Y/n thought that Harry would give her the courtesy of a warning, but he said nothing about it to her, didn’t offer much except a side hug after One Direction’s last performance.

So yeah, she was a little bitter.

“I’m—I’m really sorry, Y/n. I know it doesn’t make up for…all of this and everything you went through, but I am truly sorry.”

“Thank you.” 

Y/n believed him, believed that he was sorry for everything that went down, but it still hurt to know she wasn’t someone he was close enough to talk to about all of this at the time. She was Harry’s assistant, she knew that, but they’d been through a lot together. But he was ever the professional it seemed, and it was her job to remember that, not his.

When she realized her coffee was finished, Y/n stood up. “Well, it was good seeing you, Harry. Good luck on your next project. I’m sure it’ll be great.”

“Wait, but—you’re not—you‘re leaving?”

“I have to run a couple errands before work," Y/n explained. She rested her hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently. “But really, no hard feelings. I wish you all the best.”

She left Harry at the table, heading for the front of the cafe and toward the busy street beyond. Her heart felt heavy as she walked away, but she tried to shake the feeling that she was walking away from more than just her boss. Former boss. Like her mother always reminded her, she couldn’t be a personal assistant forever.

“Wait!”

Y/n turned on instinct, eyes widening as Harry jogged after her, his little bun bouncing with each step. He skidded to a stop in front of her, green eyes wide and searching. For what, she wasn’t sure, but the heat of his gaze was enough to make butterflies stir in her stomach.

Putting on her best front, she raised her eyebrows, waiting for Harry to say whatever he needed to.

“I wasn’t kidding earlier. I need you, Y/n,” he said. “I—You’re the only one who really knows me, who I know will have my back no matter what. I need a familiar face in my corner.”

I need you, Y/n. Those words were her kryptonite. Year after year, Y/n heard Harry's voice over the phone as he roused her from sleep, read the text messages while she was getting her nails done or watched TV in her hotel room, or on the rare occasion she went on a date. But she had to hold strong. Y/n had been devastated by her sudden layoff, but now she had a life, and she didn't want to get sucked back into Harry's very alluring web of charming smiles, cheesy jokes, and endless adventure. That was his life, not hers.

“I have a job, Harry. I can’t just drop everything and quit because you suddenly want me to—”

“What are they paying you?”

Y/n’s brows furrowed. “Excuse me?”

Harry pushed on. “What are they paying you? I’ll double it.”

Scoffing in disbelief, she said, “It’s not about the money—”

“Triple,” he countered. Harry took her hand in his and squeezed it. He looks desperate, Y/n thought.

“I can’t just quit my job because you remembered I existed,” Y/n said quietly, pulling her hand out of his. She clung to her resolve, hoping Harry would make this easy and just let it go, let her go. “I—I deserve more.”

More of what, she wasn’t sure, but Y/n knew it was true. Harry only reached out because he needed something from her, and that hurt more than she cared to admit. 

“You’re right. I’m sorry,” Harry said, looking down at his shoes. A pair of scuffed Chelsea boots he wore practically everywhere. Y/n had bought him a pair of Vans one year, an attempt to switch up his wardrobe, but he still chose the boots nine times out of ten. “Just—At least think about coming to Jamaica. Please?”

“Harry—”

“Not as my assistant. As a guest. A friend,” Harry amended. “We’re planning on staying at a huge villa, and I want to make up for being an idiot. Just—Just think about it. Please.”

Despite everything, Y/n found herself wanting to say yes. It was that magnetic pull she felt toward Harry that had kept her working for him for so long. He was an important person in her life, and up until he’d all but ghosted her after the hiatus, she thought she was important to him too. In spite of his misgivings, Y/n still wanted to believe that she was. 

It was so stupid, but it felt good to be wanted by him. She was an idiot, she knew that. But her friendship with Harry was legitimate, he'd just acted like a complete idiot. She'd known him long enough to know he was very capable of acting like an idiot. So even though she shouldn’t, even though she had carefully lined up her reasons not to in a little line, she started to cave. 

But she couldn’t make the decision now. Not when Harry was looking at her with pleading green eyes and his sad little puppy dog face, his cologne dizzyingly lovely. No, she owed it to herself to really think about what she wanted. If getting sucked back into that whirlwind was worth it. Worth getting her heart properly broken when she knew he would never feel the same about her.

"I'll show up at work, you know," Harry said. "I'm not above it. You might think I am, but I'm not."

Y/n had no doubt in her mind that he would. Along with being an idiot, Harry was very stubborn, and very persistent. She had years with him to know that. Did she really need Harry Styles showing up at her place of work?

“Fine, I’ll think about it,” she finally said, trying to pretend like her heart was screaming to just agree. But her heart was an impulsive little shit that was bound to get her in trouble.

Harry’s face broke out into a wide grin, one that displayed those famous dimples and lit up his entire face. It was hard to feel like he didn't think she was the only person on earth to exist when he looked like that, like he was convinced she’d already said yes. “I’ll take it.”

[dreamings-free]

Louis about LT3

a summary UPDATED 6/10/24

Sep 2022 first time Louis mentions a 3rd album. Louis is quoted in Euphoria Magazine saying: “Ideally, I’d like to try and write the next record before I go on tour next year. I want to do something similar to what I’ve done this past year.” (but from what we know now it seems it didn't play out that way..)

Sep 14th 2022 Louis leaves a comment on Faith In The Future co-writer Nico Rebscher's instagram post about Out Of My System saying "Can’t wait to do more on the next album!"

Jan 2023 Louis is on holiday in Cabo, Mexico and is spotted travelling with his guitar - maybe in case inspiration strikes!?

Feb 22nd 2023 Louis is seen "a tiny village with a recording studio in it". A few days later both Louis and Matt Vines likes an instagram post by Faith In The Future co-writer David Sneddon captioned "Spent the week at @ angelicstudiouk with friends and heroes." Another FITF co-writer Theo Hutchcraft is seen in one of the photos.

May 11th 2023 Louis tweets: "Also probably shouldn’t mention this so early in the process but I’m feeling really confident creatively, just finished a week of writing and it was unbelievable. Exciting!"

May 13th 2023 When asked about the next album at the LA screening of All Of Those Voices, he answered: “I recently just started, yeah. The majority have been my own, but some of the lyrics is less direct, so it’s maybe not quite as specifically about me but,I felt really fulfilled, the last couple of writing sessions I’ve done have been really, really good.”

Nov 23rd 2023 Louis gets asked about album 3 at the Rolling Stone UK Awards and is quoted saying: “It’s funny, I wrote maybe 4 or 5 tunes in one of the breaks of the tour legs, and actually, I just wanna spend a bit of time. I’m really excited for those songs, but I don’t know when the next records gonna come and the thing about me is when I start writing, I’m just desperate to release things as soon as a possible, so I wanna take a bit of time on this record. So when that might be, who knows.” He also talks a bit about potential collaborators and mentions DMA'S.

Jan 20th 2024 Louis follows producer James Ellis Ford who has worked with Arctic Monkey, Gorillaz and many, many more.

Jan 24th 2024 When asked in a twitter Q&A if he has "a concept in mind already for the next album?" his answer was: "Started drawing the outline in my head". He also told fans asking at the meet 'n' greet in Jakarta that it would be "soon, in my context of the word" 😜

Mar 30th 2024 At the Tecate Pa'l Norte press conference he said: “At the moment, um— to be honest, I haven’t really— the question was what I listen to which is a slightly different thing but; I haven’t really given the next record real thought yet. Obviously it’s been on my mind. But in terms of conceptually, or even finding references, I’m not really at that point yet because I’ve done a lot of touring— just kind of getting that out of the way before I really start thinking about that proper.”

April 4th 2024 He told Chilean radio station Bio Bio: “I have written a couple of songs, but when I was writing them I wasn’t thinking about what they would be for a new album, they were just written to give me something to write and not put pressure on those songs. But I think I will start the work on a new album at the end of this year, maybe.” futher elaborating to Radio Disney Chile: “The good thing about this record is I’m gonna have plenty of time to experiment and with that it gives you plenty of room to just kind of find where the edges of the record live. So yeah I’m looking forward to getting into the process, but like I said I’ve been loving touring at the moment so just been kind of sticking to that.”.

He also told Paraguayan radio station HEI Now: “Of course there’ll be a new album. When? I’m not overly sure. I think I’ll probably start writing at the end of the year. I just wanna let as much life in first and then I can really start emoting and writing.”

June 2024 In the FITF tour LatAm recap video posted to Louis’ instagram 25/6 he says: “At some point I gotta think about the next record, but.. I’m a bit scared of that, truthfully right now, feel like I’ve been enjoying the success of Faith in The Future for.. quite a while. And yes, it’s been the pressure of the shows but I delivered what I think was a good record and a record that was successful. So now going into the next cycle it’s a little bit.. a little bit tentative going into it. I know that’ll change once I get off the road and really start thinking about the essence of the record and the concept of the record and stuff like that. But right now.. yeah, I’m just thinking about the festivals, I’m excited for those.” (he also talks - in past tense about playing in Mexico City and about the upcoming Away From Home Festival, so we can assume this interview was done somewhere in early June)

August 4th 2024 Responding to a fan sign at Santander Music Festival that said "How close R we to the next album 1-5?" showing three - possibly four? - fingers! meaning the album is 3/5 (or 4/5?) done!

Oct 4th 2024 curious activity across Louis' socials; on twitter the header image was changed from the Louis Tomlinson : Live album graphic to just the cover image and the Faith In The Futuretweet was unpinned (like it was on Louis' insta 9/9). on Louis' instagram the bio text was cleared and the link to louist.lnk.to/live was also removed.

Oct 6th 2024 Louis replies to a fan on twitter asking if new music is coming with "Only been off tour 2 minutes. The next record is going to be my best yet but need chance to let life in first!"

tbc...

[coco-loco-nut]

too hot to cry

pairing: max verstappen x reader

summary: prequel to die first, how you met

requests open masterlist main story

——————

“Fuck him, he doesn’t deserve you,” your best friend tells you as you lay in bed.

The fucker had the audacity to cheat on you and think you wouldn’t find out.

Maybe it was for the best, he always put down your career, despite your singles gaining traction and an album in the works. You were determined to make this experience the final hit of the album.

"Girls, let's get drunk and look hot while doing it," you sniffle, a small smile gracing your face as you and your girls get ready to go out. This is Monaco, and the three of you weren't wasting your trip on sad thoughts. You pull out a dress and get ready, writing a song down as you prepare.

While your best friends are getting ready, you slip out to the common room of your suite, which thankfully has a piano. Hitting record on tour phone, you record a bit and send it to the producers of your album. You almost immediately hear a response giving you a studio booking in Monaco and an ask for immediate release once it is recorded.

"Ladies, I've done it," you smile devilishly, taking a picture of you getting ready.

"You are really going to break the internet this time," y/f says, sliding her heels on. The three of you head to a more upscale club than normal, celebrating the loss of your now ex. Not that you weren't still upset, but nothing feels better than looking good.

A few shots later, a guy down the bar buys you a vodka Red Bull, your favorite drink. You lock eyes with him and give him the kind of smile that keeps guys buying drinks for you. You take the drink and head back to the dance floor. The next time you need a new drink, you approach the bar closer to the group of guys than before.

"Y/n! Those are Formula One drivers." Y/bff tells you and you look back at her a little shocked.

"The hot one bought me my last drink," You tell her and she looks at the group again.

"Charles? The one with dark brown hair, wearing the button-up and jeans?" she asks.

"Y/bff they ALL have dark brown hair, but this one was wearing a t-shirt," you tell her, turning to the bar and setting down the empty glass, before you feel a body slide behind you.

"Another vodka Red Bull for her," a deep voice says from behind you.

"Hi, I'm Max," the man smirks at you, reaching over your shoulder to pay for the drink.

"Y/n"

[bootsukki]

warnings: angst and fluff ig, pro!kageyama and singer!fem!reader

masterlist

twitter was blowing up with videos of (y/n)'s concert the night before. the moment had been completely unexpected for many— she was singing "in bloom", a sweet, quiet ballad about finding a home in someone's arms, a song she had always presented with a sweet smile and blushy cheeks, her usual "wrote this for a sweet blue-eyed boy" completely missing and instead, as she hit the chorus of the sond, her voice cracked, eyes filling with tears that she couldn't hold back. the fans, confused, caught every moment on camera, and speculation ran online about what it all meant.

hundreds of thousands of tweets about the moment that brought more tweets about the current situation in (y/n)'s and kageyama's life.

@PopBase: Fans catch worldwide known Japanese star, (Y/N), breaking down during her song "In Bloom" yesterday in Rome, a song wrote about her boyfriend, Japanese volleyball star, Kageyama Tobio. Attached: Video of (Y/N) pausing mid-song, brushing away a tear, and mouthing an apology to the audience.

@DeuxMoi: Rumor has it (Y/N) and volleyball star Kageyama Tobio were spotted leaving couples therapy in Rome recently. Could this be trouble in paradise for this couple? The singer and volleyball were last seen together celebrating their 4-year-anniversary in the Paris Olympics.

Attached: Image of the couple leaving a well-known Italian therapist's office. (Y/N) looks like she's been crying and Kageyama Tobio is trying to hide her from the camera.

reply from @bloomingyn

you are all pieces of shit, she's completely heartbroken and crying and you take a photo? you don't know what's going on in their lives to be posting shit like this, assholes

@kgymssss (y/n) cried while singing "in bloom" last night, and she looked completely heartbroken. can someone please confirm if her and tobio are okay?? :(

the socials of (y/n) were filled with comments of fans trying to get answers and some other people being completely rude towards her and as days streched on, neither her or kageyama said a word which only made everything worse.

the tension between them had been shimmering for months. a rift that started as a small crack and now has grown into a big gap in their relationship that distanced the couple and the dreams of two people who didn't seem to fit together.

kageyama's contract had reently expired, which meant that he had to either, wait for his current team to offer something (which they did) or wait for other teams from the league he was playing in or other leagues to offer him something (which also happened). kageyama loved italy, he had been living in the country for a few years by now and his life while playing in the italian league had improved drastically, while (y/n) had been hoping to go back to japan, closer to her roots, and... start a future together with kageyama. she had even hinted that she wouldn't mind going back to voice acting knowing she had several offers lined up. truth be told, she was really homesick and tired of being on tour for months and months without break for the almost seven years she had been working on music in the us, she had been going on tour for a huge majority of those years, recording songs and more albums in between. she was tired and exhausted of that life. she wanted to take a break from music and focus on other things. it wasn't that he didn't want that, they had even talked about it before, getting married, having kids... but the idea of leaving italy, leaving his volleyball team when he felt himself at the highest level, was something he wasn't completely ready for.

it all came to head one night after another quiet dinner full of unspoken words at kageyama's apartment in rome. as she cleared her plate, he looked up, expression guarded but tense.

"can we talk about it?"

(y/n) sighed, shoulder slumping as she turned to face him. he knew she had been crying a lot recently, she always did it while showering or when she left to rehearse for her shows and even though they didn't have much time together before she was back again moving to other siders of europe to sing, he needed to talk. they needed to talk.

"we've been talking about this, tobi, for months. i feel like we are going on circles."

he looked down, gripping his chopsticks tightly. "i just... i don't see why we have to go back to japan... italy is incredible and i think we would be very happy here. i... i can't just walk away from volleyball. volley is..."

"everything to you." she interrupted, voice soft but full of hurt. "italy is great but... i miss home." she hid her face on her hands, feeling, once again, tears welling up her eyes. "i get that you like living here. believe me, i do. but... what about me? what about what i want? i know japan would be the best place for us to live and there are a lot of opportunities for you there. there are teams waiting for you."

he stood up, walking to get closer to get, frustration on his face. "it's not that simple. i can't just... leave. my career is here and i... i thought you understood that."

"i understand that." she looked up at him, crossing her arms over her chest. "i've always understood, from the moment we started dating. but being together means that we need to do compromises and fight for us."

"i'm trying to compromise" he insisted, voice defensive. "we can still live here, you could move here."

(y/n) shook her head, cleaning the stray tears that were leaving her eyes. "you're asking me to compromise then, to move here and do, what exactly? stay at home all day and do nothing? in japan, i could still work in voice acting. i've always tried to be a part of your life but... w-when do we start building a life together?"

"we are living a life together."

"are we? because with how much i am in the us, recording new songs and going on tour for almost 8 months a year, it feels like we are not even together."

kageyama's jaw clenched but he couldn't seem to find an answer.

(y/n) took a shaky breath. "i want a home, one that is yours and mine. i want to finally settle down and maybe, just maybe, start a family together and... i want that to be in japan, i want to be in japan, closer to my family, closer to the people we love, the place we have both grown up in. i want to get married and have kids and... i would love for my kids to have that, to have a "normal" childhood where they don't have to take planes everytime they can see their dad and that's if they are able to see him because his training is brutal and he spends a lot of time playing matches and focusing on the league. i don't want my kids to be on a tour bus since they are babies, because i want them to go to school and know that they have a place that is completely theirs, a home. a mom and a dad who are present and... i thought you'd want that with me."

"i want that with you, i have told you this before."

"you have told me but you are not willing to go back." she sighed "tobi, you can still play volleyball at home, you have offers."

his silence was answer enough, and she felt a pang of heartbreak. (y/n) turned away, walking towards kageyama's bedroom and closing the door behind her.

the days that followed were filled with uncertainty. they barely spoke, exchanging only the briefest of texts, and each conversation felt like stepping around the edges of something neither of them knew how to fix. the internet wasn't helping and (y/n) couldn't go online without seeing tweets and instagram comments about her relationship status and speculation, heartbreak caught on camera for the world to see and comment on.

after leaving rome and italy, she went to the uk to do some shows and everything seemed to worsen the rift between them. not being together was completely breaking both of their hearts, especially when they were feeling so lost and confused.

kageyama sat alone in his apartment after a full day of meetings and calls, freshly showered and grateful for the three days off he was given. he stared at his phone, thumb hovering over (y/n)'s instagram profile he followed from his personal account only friends and family followed and he opened his browser, looking for a flight to the uk.

when (y/n) walked onto the stage in london the following night, she felt the familiar rush and adrenaline, tinged with nerves she couldn't seem to get rid of since she left italy. performing was usually the one place where she would relax but it had gotten really difficult to do in the past few months, exhausted and sad.

she usually started with one of her most popular songs but, as she moved closer towards the piano where she would sing "in bloom", her throat started to get itchy but she simply smiled like she always did and sat down on the piano.

as she started singing the song, her voice faltered on the second verse, the words hitting too close to home.

so here a am, no longer alone, in the blue of your eyes, i found my home. in you, i bloom, in you, i’m free, you’re my place, my everything.

she closed her eyes for a second, steadying herself before she sang the chorus.

and when she opened her eyes, her gaze moving around the crowd, she saw him. her tobi. her love of big blue eyes. she smiled, seeing him whistle and clap, a soft and small smile on his face, eyes focused only on her. her heart skipped a beat and she stumbled over her next words, quickly catching herself as she finished the song.

the crowd roared with applauses and cheers as the song ended, but (y/n) was completely focused on him as the band continued playing the next song.

the concert finished quite quickly and she waved at all the people, bowing to show her respect and smiling brightly, slipping backstage, where she was bombarded by her team, taking out her microphone, giving her water and taking out pins from her hair.

thanking them, she turned the corner towards her dressing room and she stopped in her tracks, seeing him leaning against the wall, hands on his pockets and a neutral expression on his face.

"tobi", she breathed.

he straightened up, expression softening when he saw her. "hi"

for a moment, neither of them spoke. he looked exhausted, and she could feel herself getting tired as well. finally, she broke the silence.

"what... what are you doing here?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

“i needed to see you,” he said, his tone raw. “i know things have been… hard. and I’m sorry.”

she looked away, her shoulders sagging as she let out a sigh. “tobi, we’ve been over this. i-”

he took a step closer, his gaze unwavering. “i want you. i have always wanted you and i know that i've been selfish and stupid and... god, these past months have been incredibly hard on both of us. i don't want you to feel like you don't matter or that you are less important than my career because that is not true."

she looked up at him, her eyes searching his. “what are you saying?”

he took a deep breath, his hand reaching out to take hers. “i've... i've talked with my lawyers and team these past days and... i think there is a really good team in japan who made a really good offer for me. i've discussed all the terms and it seems like a great opportunity for us. i want everything with you and i also want our future kids to grow with parents who are there for them and... i want to get married and start a life with you, forever."

tears prickled at her eyes, a mixture of both relief and disbelief flodding her heart. "are you saying you'd be willing to go back to japan?"

"no baby, i'm saying that we're are going to japan. i am not going to think about it and accept the offer." he nodded, squeezing her hand gently. "i'm ready to go back home with you, find a perfect home, start a family... if that's what you want. i promise that is what i want. i want us to be together at all times and not have to talk through facetime and think about time zones and taking planes everytime we want to spend a few days together."

she let out a shaky laugh, a tear slipping down her cheek that he cleaned with his thumb. "that's all i've ever wanted, tobi."

he cleaned some other tears, his eyes softening as he looked at her. "nothing matters if i lose you."

she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close as he held her tightly, spinning her around, and for the first time in months, the weight on her chest seemed to lift. she felt his hand gently stroking her hair, his quiet promise echoing in her mind.

“are you… really ready for this?” she asked, her voice muffled against his shoulder.

he pulled back, looking into her eyes with a rare vulnerability. “more than anything.”

kageyama closed the gap between them, a deep and long kiss shared between the lovers as they swayed in the middle of the hallway, holding each other as the noise of the crowd faded into the background.

it wouldn't be easy, she still needed to finish tour and do all the paperwork it required to leave all the stages, music and sign new volleyball contracts behind and prepare for the big move but, with his arms around her, she knew that they were ready to face whatever came next, finally, together.

[kedsandtubesocks]

dance away your cowboy blues

Country Singer!Joel Miller x F!Reader

summary: who knew the man with the voice of an angel could break your heart this bad?

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY MDNI, modern/no outbreak AU & Joel has both his daughters, exes to lovers with eventual husband!Joel, angst followed up by good sweet fluff, concert venue, light drinking mention, Joel being stubborn & bad at feelings, hints of spice, fools in love, reader is addressed as ‘honey, darlin,’ use of song lyrics in fic, Pearl Jam & Taylor Swift song mentions, soft & heartbroken!Joel, lovesick!Joel

word count: 6k

a/n: here we are - the last installment in our ‘Let’s Rodeo’ series & I’m so incredibly grateful to finally make it here, also this is my mini tribute to our boy and his SAG award! The main song Joel sings is this one and I highly recommend! Thank you to my forever babe @the-wild-wolves-around-you for letting me scream about plot holes & aiding my Joel brainrot, @tightjeansjavi for always being down to chat about Joel, and to @lowlights & @ahauntedcowboy for being my ever guiding forces for this series, thank you all… And finally to you reading this, thank you so much ♡

A year ago, Joel broke up with you on a warm early spring morning.

He arrived at your apartment, sat you down and shattered your world. You felt every range of emotion as he simply stood there like a man of steel.

So upset and angry, you wanted to rip your heart out and throw it at him.

Then later that week you found out his record was officially getting picked up and you crumbled.

Ending your relationship simply because he was about to step into true proper fame - you never took Joel to be a man so somberly callous. However, you began wondering if that’s what fame sometimes did to people.

When curiosity gnawed too hard, you’d Google him or even check Spotify. Simply catching glimpses of how big he’s gotten sent you spiraling. Last Thanksgiving, your favorite aunt threatened to lock your phone away when she found you upset in the bathroom after discovering Joel was performing at the Dallas Cowboys holiday game.

From that point on you refused to even check any amount of social media or update on him.

A few clunky first dates and a couple of ghosting experiences later, you’ve now decided to simply work on yourself and embrace the selfcare of being single.

It’s why when your best friend called you earlier today eagerly explaining how her parents had extra tickets to the Rodeo tonight, she playfully teased how she knew you didn’t have anything planned for this Saturday night.

You almost hung up on her, but you excitedly scrambled to get ready.

Now the smell of fried foods, popcorn, and beer cloud the air. The fairgrounds hold a chaotic but controlled lively energy. You never knew so many cowboy hats could exist in one space.

Once you meet up with your best friends' parents, you’re transported to a whole new area you never believed could exist during a rodeo. Lux and cozy, the VIP lounge gleams with its elevated experience. You knew your best friend’s mom worked for the construction company managing the arena. You just didn’t realize how big of a hookup it was. The VIP tickets allowed for full premium dining along with a couple of free drinks.

More importantly - it came with the best concert seats.

“In the dirt” is how they’re described because the tickets are literally stationed on the floor, in the dirt of the rodeo stadium, right by the stage.

Ecstatic and bubby energy now fills you. The food being served is divine and you gladly enjoy the free various drinks.

“So wait, did we figure out who’s performing?” You ask curiously while you lounge taking advantage of the nice seating area.

“Uh, I think my dad said it’s that band named Midland is performing today.” Your friend answers but then is quickly pulled away to meet more of her mom’s coworkers.

You’ve never heard of the band, but for a free concert you’re open to enjoy some live music.

It’s a trait you gained from Joel.

Because of him you grew to love music performances, the energy that comes with hearing the band, being among the hum of the crowd. The trips around Austin seeing not just him perform, but enjoying other concerts with him, let you appreciate and admire live shows.

Waiting for the concert allows you to enjoy some of the actual rodeo event. But the main performance of the evening soon arrives.

“You kids go enjoy! We’re getting a little too old and are just gonna stay back and enjoy the free food.” Your best friend’s mom grins with a wink.

The ticket advertisement wasn’t joking when it said close to the stage. The ground level truly sits on the dirt floor. The arena swallows you whole surrounding you like a strange fishbowl. A small crowd already lines the front railing closest to the stage. However sneakily you find a nice open spot by the side that gives a clear sight to the stage.

Even if you don’t know the band, giddiness bubbles in you electric.

You take in the massive general admission floor section already packed full. The band must be popular. So you take plenty of pictures and happily enjoy the time with your dear friend.

The lights dim and excitement crackles in the air. The stage lights up. The large backdrop screens on the stage flutter to life beginning to showcase different picturesque black and white shots of Texas.

Midland, you remember, is a city in Texas so the images make sense. A low strum of a guitar begins playing. The melody dances soft but in a quick beat, a hypnotic tune trying to rev up the crowd.

The tune brews up its intended magic that you even get swept up in the anticipation. The sound gets faster and the strumming is rather simple but so striking.

Then the music stops. Suddenly the lights of the entire stadium shut off. Wild galvanized screams erupt.

The lights brilliantly dance forth back to light. They all focus now on the performer who, like magic, now appears on the stage with the rest of the band.

And the lead singer is Joel.

Your knees almost give out.

Dressed in the most dangerous plaid green button up, it so simple yet beautifully compliments him. More grays pepper his beard and highlight his tousled curls. The brilliant stage lights bask him in a heavenly glow.

Your soul momentarily leaves your body the minute his voice sings his first note.

Instantly your best friend whips towards you panicked. She rapidly screams asking if you’re okay as she apologizes over and over.

“My dad must have gotten the dates wrong! God I should’ve fucking doubled checked or some shit!” She cries deeply apologetic and hurt.

You earnestly tell her it’s not her fault and it’s alright. It was just an unfortunate mixup.

“Do you wanna leave?” Your friend leans closer to you. Her eyes shine understanding and considerate. “We didn’t pay for these tickets and I promise you my parents will completely understand. We can say fuck it and bounce.”

You haven’t even completely processed it’s Joel. It’s like your brain went cloudy and now blinking out of the fog, your eyes return to the stage.

Joel isn’t an extroverted man. He’s reserved, quietly charming, even holds a gruff but poised grace. But right now, he’s an absolute sun on the stage. He’s radiant, naturally swaying to the music while singing his soul soul.

Maybe it’s the piece of you still horribly in love with him, or just the curiosity to see how this goes, whatever it is - you shake your head no.

“We can stay.”

Your best friend’s eyes go wide as saucers hearing your answer.

“Are you sure?” She presses and you nod your head.

“Yeah, let’s stay. Afterwards we can laugh about how old he’s gotten.” You laugh bitterly about him looking more aged even after a year.

When truthfully the stronger wrinkles around his face, the vibrant grays, all of his aging only intensifies his striking looks.

A canyon wide sized hole rips through your heart.

The song flutters to an end and the crowd claps with a thunderous roar. With a reassuring squeeze to your shoulder your dear friend nods then turns back to the concert.

You pray this isn’t the worst decision you’ve ever made.

Then Joel speaks.

“Howdy everyone,” his voice is still so devilishly thick and smooth as a shot of moonshine. His accent does his home state proud. The crowd absolutely adores him, screaming loud just hearing him speak.

“Thank y'all for comin’ out tonight. I’m Joel Miller and m’here to sing y’all a few songs.” So simple, casually eased, and it’s so Joel.

His gruff southern charm made you fall in love with him so fast and now it’s a unique brand of magic charming everyone under his spell.

Joel strums a few notes, rapidly shifting the tune and transitions into the next song.

You now fully soak in Joel.

He seems otherworldly, a god of music reincarnated as a Texan cowboy. You think back to the days sitting in his living room and listening to him play. You were honored to see that side of him, to hear him strum to life so much magic.

During the holiday’s Joel’s daughters, Ellie and Sarah, would often pester him to sing silly songs. He’d grumpily obliged but you knew he basked in their attention and love.

He loved to sing. You always knew he was destined for the stage like it was woven into his veins.

You still remember the day one of Joel’s acoustic performances blew up online gaining so much attention. The excitement and absolute joy you felt then still lingers in the corners of your heart. Although, those feelings have been gathering cobwebs.

There’s of course a bitterness seeing him, but also, an unbearably small twinkling pride knowing he’s here living his dream. The song finishes and again the stadium rumbles in applause.

“How y’all doin’ tonight?” Joel asks and your heart jumps hearing his voice again.

The crowd cheers back at him.

“Good good, let’s keep it goin’.” He yells back and then strums the guitar sharp.

That’s when the stage slowly starts moving.

It’s slow but with the surprise purpose to look out to the entire crowd. For some reason you almost laugh thinking of that man, who couldn’t even remember how to FaceTime on his ipad, on a full rotating platform.

However, the lyrics start and you realize he’s singing a heartbreak ballad.

If you’re going out with someone new, I’m going out with someone too…I won’t feel sorry for me, I’m getting drunk but I’d much rather be somewhere with you…

It’s hard hearing him now with how exhilarated the crowd screams at the stage moving. But you try to hear how the rest of the song unfolds.

At the chorus, your throat tightens.

I can go out every night of the week, can go home with anybody I meet, but it’s just a temporary high… ‘cause when I close my eyes, I’m somewhere with you

The words sting every inch of you, but you believe it has to be just a simple heartbreak story and isn’t about you, isn’t directed at you. Yet the words feel like sharpened edges of a broken mirror that seem to reflect every moment of your time with him.

Then the stage rotates to your side of the floor.

There’s no way he can see you or will even spot you. There’s a whole crowd stretching before him. You’re just a fish in a sea of fans.

Joel continues strumming, allowing his voice to so beautifully carry the emotion.

The stage, in its slow movement, is now front and center to your line of sight. Some girls at the very direct front of the railing scream and wave frantically at him.

A small smile tugs at Joel’s lips as he waves back. Joel’s eyes scan the rest of the crowd -

And that’s when he spots you.

Quickly, you rationalize he could be staring out behind you at someone else alongside the side railing.

But Joel’s eyes even narrow trying to focus more. Your gaze stays on him, like something inside of you refuses to waiver.

His eyes flicker with realization then turn into full moons.

He knows it’s you.

Joel continues singing the chorus but emotions cloud his face. His brows are furrowed hard, almost confused like he’s trying to really comprehend what’s going on.

You understand. You’d be so confused too if you were in his position. You’re still even baffled as to why you stayed in the first place.

The stage starts shifting back to the main center direction

But Joel cranes his face to the side, refusing to have his eyes leave.

His focus stays on you.

It’s obvious enough that your best friend now shakes your body.

“Is he staring at you?!” She tries to whisper but she ends up partly screaming.

You think maybe it’s a hallucination.

Yet Joel’s deep inky eyes stubbornly stay locked on you as he sings now.

If you see out on the town and it looks like I’m burning it down, you won’t ask and I won’t say… but in my heart I’m always somewhere with you…

Your world twists warped, melting into a sea of so many emotions you can’t stay afloat.

Joel finishes his song and the crowd enthusiastically cheers. Yet, it sounds muffled as a numbness crawls over you like a thick soupy fog.

You should leave. You need to. But you’re here now. And decide to see the end of this. If he’s singing about someone lingering within him, then you might as well make true to those lyrics.

Joel lowers his face for a moment and shakes his head. The mic faintly picks up his cough of a disbelieving laugh and your heart sinks.

“Alright folks, let’s jam.” He announces composed and brings his guitar to life.

He’s beautiful walking around with it. Strums effortlessly until he shifts from one guitar, his classic, to a more sleek all black styled one.

Joel lets the music and band take over while he makes the switch. He also leans in to whisper something to the stage hand.

Then as if nothing, Joel steps back into the limelight and illuminates the stage.

He walks around freely now that the stage stopped rotating. The current song is lively with a great beat and you hate how badly you want to bounce around to its infectious sound and the way Joel’s voice elevates the tune.

Caught up in the melody, you don’t notice until it’s too late. Joel walks over to the side of the stage directly facing you.

The guitar carries a large piece of this song’s bridge allowing his eyes to flicker across the crowd.

Until they return to your gaze. Stuck in his stare, Joel suddenly cocks his chin towards you.

Most of the crowd around you screams at his simple action. Even your best friend yells out a loud ‘holy shit’ but you stay quiet.

Not knowing how to react, all you do is stupidly shrug.

It’s awful, not even the best reaction you can give.

But Joel barks a laugh, a true laugh that thankfully happens at the tail end of the song, but your knees go weak.

You made him laugh.

On stage.

Heartache finds its way back into your system fiercer than ever and it poisonously tastes of adoration as well.

Joel transitions into another song. This time moving around the stage more towards the other side.

Yet, either his eyes flicker back to you, or he ends up walking to your section.

A part of you wonders if he’s doing this now to mock you, almost showing off how good he is knowing you’re here. You don’t believe Joel would be that heartless, but you hate how that option still lingers.

“He’s been walking over here a lot.” Someone even behind you even notices.

“Well he is old.” Someone yells back. “Maybe he’s just trying to keep his joints in shape.”

You almost want to snap back that he’s looking damn good for his age and in good enough shape that he kept you bent like a pretzel for practically a whole weekend, but you swallow back the protective bite.

You simply go back to enjoying the show, and it’s fantastic. You can’t deny that. Joel is a performer, keeps the crowd focused and engaged. He isn’t showy or dramatic but takes control of his presence on stage.

You think of the days seeing him at small bars around town, sitting on a stool playing till his heart's content.

Then he booked Stubb’s in Austin and when you watched him own that stage - you knew this was meant for him.

You’re reminded of that so vividly tonight.

“Alright, gettin’ to the end here.” He announces and the crowd sounds heartbroken.

“I know, i know,” he coos back soft and low. “But just wanted to say y’all have been lovely.”

So many shrill shrieks crack in the room and you almost roll your eyes.

Your best friend snickers beside you. “Gotta give it to him, man can work a room.”

She’s right of course. Though it’s still so surprising for a man grumpily reserved and introverted at times.

“This next one I hope maybe some of y’all will know.”

He strums the cords to Pearl Jam’s ‘Alive.’

What gained Joel traction online was his renditions and covers of various songs. He added his own country twang and twist to all the songs he covered.

Pearl Jam happened to be one of Ellie’s favorite bands. A hollow nostalgia rip through you, thinking of the two girls you miss.

The crowd ignites recognizing the familiar rock ballad now turned into the tune of a country song by Joel’s touch. He owns the solo and his husky voice melts into the lyrics beautifully.

Under your breath you sing along. You used to sing along when you cooked breakfast at his place or during drives with him and the girls.

It’s a beautiful fondness, yet one still barbed and so aching.

The song ends with the intense but small burst of fireworks that has the stadium cheering. You even clap.

“Appreciate y’all.” He addresses the crowd. “That’s a one of my daughter’s favorites so always means a lot when I get to play it.”

A smile you can’t fight tugs at your lips at the mention of Ellie.

“Now my daughters, they’re like night ‘n day.” Joel continues and your heart fills up so overwhelming fast for those girls.

“One of them, like I said, loves some Pearl Jam. Now my other daughter…” Joel pauses.

“She’s a big fan of someone by the name of Taylor Swift.”

The crowd absolutely explodes and you think you even feel the arena shake. Sarah honestly was a big fan and Ellie loved to tease her about it so much.

“Normally for this next and final song, I’d play ‘‘shake it off.’” Joel had a few songs of hers that he covered. That one was a fan favorite.

“But tonight, I'm itchin’ to play somethin’ else.” He continues.

You even perk up curious.

“So let’s end this on a high note, yeah? Sing along if you know this one.” Joel concludes.

Then the drums begin and the song bursts to life.

The stadium swims in a dizzying frantic energy.

The way Joel sings, he’s pouring his heart out. He’s memorizing. Utterly heart wrenching.

This is the finale, the end of this strange unreal dream you’ve wandered into. You wonder if he feels it too.

The song’s chilling bridge comes and Joel walks to stare directly at you.

I thought I had you figured out, can’t breathe whenever you’re gone. Can't turn back now, I'm haunted…

His eyes never leave yours.

The lyrics sear through your heart. You think about screaming the song to back him. He’s the one who left, the one who’s ghost lives among your ribs.

Then Joel hits the final high note, lets his voice carry the powerful finale, and the crowd roars in earth shaking excitement.

It’s magical, magnetic and utterly devastating in both the best and worst ways. Another few sets of indoor fireworks go off and the show ends.

Joel wishes the crowd a beautiful night and you’re left in a tangled web of emotions.

Your best friend immediately turns to see if you’re okay. While the crowd starts leaving, you and her take a moment. Out of the edge of your focus, you notice a crew member of the arena approaching the side of the rail. You don’t think anything of it.

“Excuse me,” until that crew member stands in front of you on the other side of the barrier.

Blinking absolutely confused you turn towards the man.

“I’ve been asked to escort you backstage.” He explains and your best friend gasps.

You wonder if the ground opened below and dropped you into a free fall.

Quickly you stammer out that you couldn’t. There's no way. Maybe the man must’ve mistaken you for someone else.

“Mr. Miller said you’d say something like that.” The crew member says reaching into his pocket to hand you something.

It’s a keychain.

Not just any keychain, but the one you gave Joel.

It’s a cartoon armadillo, dressed up as a cowboy, holding a guitar. When you first saw it you immediately thought of Joel. His daughters got a kick over it, giggled at how cute it was, and your heart had bursted when you saw it constantly among his keys.

Now the worn little cowboy creature sits waiting for you. It’s sweet marble like eyes stare up at you like a day hasn’t gone by since you gave Joel this.

Your best friend gasps, maybe not fully recognizing the keychain but understanding the significance.

You ask the crew member if your friend can maybe accompany you backstage, but he shakes his head a sad no.

“Then I…I can’t.” You shakily breathe out.

“Yes you can!” She interjects. “You gotta at least hear him out!”

You turn to her and find determination fiercely burning in her eyes as she nods.

“But what about you? I don’t want you or your parents waiting around for me.” You urge.

“Don’t worry about me or especially about them!” She reassures, even offering to wait for as long as you need.

You’re grateful, unbearably so and embrace her tight.

“You call me if he gets stupid. I don’t care backstage or not, I’ll go get you.”

You laugh watery at her well meaning threat and thank her. With a quick sweet goodbye, you follow the crew member along the rails until exiting.

The walk out to the backstage area fills you with a hurricane of emotions. What else could Joel say to you? A part of you wonders if he’s going to be cruel about this, having you simply show up to his dressing room just to laugh so arrogant and smug about how wonderfully famous he is now.

No, Joel isn’t that type of man.

Or you hope fame hasn't warped him into that type of man. Arriving at the green room door, your heart races loud in your ears.

The crew member knocks and before you can compose yourself, Joel opens the door.

He’s bathed in the golden amber light of the backstage room. It highlights all those grays again but also illuminates more of the time passed on his face. More winkles line against his eyes and when he fully stares at you, you wonder how different you might look in his eyes.

A jackrabbit like urge rushes over you to maybe flee, call your best friend to come get you.

“Thanks for comin’,” he mutters out. “Was worried ya wouldn’t show.”

You want to bitterly joke that you didn’t want to, but the armadillo keychain you hang onto holds the truth.

The door closes leaving you and Joel alone. Awkward stale air chokes the space.

You simply keep your attention on examining the room. His classic weathered jacket rests thrown over the couch. The rider is stacked with so many classic Joel snacks like his favorite jerky, popcorn, and even a few familiar favorite treats his daughters love.

Then your eyes catch the mug on the counter and you grin softly.

It must be filled with Joel’s classic drink - chamomile and ginger tea with honey for his throat.

“It’s…yeah. That’s it.”

You didn’t even realize you said anything out loud until Joel replies casuing your heart to jump. Finally your eyes find his.

It's a curse that your greatest heartbreak is this handsome. Exhaustion weighs in you and feels ancient, like if you carry the sum of so many lifetimes before.

“So…You wanted to talk to me?” You speak first, trying to keep yourself strong.

“I…uh yeah.” Answering so cryptically, his shoulders deflate. “How ya been?”

“Good.” You answer simple, curt almost.

There’s too many things that could’ve slipped out if you said anything more. Like how you selfishly kept one of his shirts and hate that the smell of him on it has faded like a wistful memory. Or how you can barely listen to Dolly Parton or Johnny Cash anymore because you’re reminded of Joel singing along to their songs.

So you turn the conversation back to him.

You ask how the girls are and Joel perks up, eyes shimmering with fatherly pride.

“Good, yeah they’re good. Uh, Ellie’s playing softball for the school again ‘n Sarah’s busy with student council. They’re still just bossin’ me all around.”

“As usual.”

You both say the same line at the same time and it chokes you up.

Joel inhales and his lips press tight, a hard line. The air tightens. No one says anything and now annoyance, frustration and maybe even a bit of panic claw at you.

“Joel, why am I here?” You ask him again.

Sighing, so weary and tired, he looks down.

Feels like ages pass between you and him. The faint noise of the stadium leaks into the room muffled.

You think of your best friend waiting and of your own heart waiting to end this.

“Look, it was good to see you,” you half lie. “You did great, hope you and the girls take care”

You turn to walk out.

That’s when he blurts out your name and you stop.

“I miss you.” He exhales.

“Miss ya so g’damn much. Every fuckin’ day.” He mutters.

When you turn back around, he stares at you unwavering. You don’t know what to say.

“Seein’ ya out in the crowd…thought m’heart was gonna give out.” He barks a weak laugh.

“Almost stoppin’ the fuckin’ show just to make sure it was you… y’look beautiful as ever.” His eyes haze over slightly, almost nostalgic.

Suddenly a heated spark rips into your chest, jagged edged and angered.

“You broke up with me.” You snap, voice already raw.

“I know,” Joel nods. “Worst damn decision of m’life.”

Your lips tremble. Everything hurts like a live wire is burning up your veins.

“Then why? Why did you do it?” You croak. You want to scream, maybe even storm out and not even give him the chance to speak.

“What? Did Mr. Big Country Star hate having a partner that wasn’t famous too?” Venom leaks bitter and poisonous in your mouth, choking your throat.

“Y’know god damn well that ain’t it.” He snarls back hard.

“No actually I fucking don’t know Joel.” You reply with a fierce bite. “You so conveniently left out any real damn reason why you were breaking up with me.”

“I said our paths were going in separate directions.” He glares hard at you now.

“And that’s about it!” Your voice raises and you hate it.

The tears come quicker than you hoped for and you hate that more.

“No real explanation,” you exhale, wanting to stay as calm as you can. “You couldn’t even give me that…what else am I supposed to think?”

Even dabbing away your tears, your composure is slowly slipping.

“I couldn’t do this to you,” he breathes out and it’s broken. His eyes are shimmering obsidian pools.

“This life, all the fuckin’ mess that comes with dating someone in the limelight, I couldn’t just throw that on ya.” He explains and the truth rings out a quiet hum.

“And you didn’t think to talk to me about this?” You whisper out now hurt. “Joel, I thought we were a team.”

“We are- were.” He slips and corrects himself fast. “I just knew if we fuckin’ talked about it you wouldn’t have understood.”

“Understood what?” You’re frustrated and it leaks into your voice.

“That I didn’t want ya fuckin’ hatin’ me!” He finally screams the weighted truth.

Stunned quiet but still slightly confused, you ask Joel what he means.

Pain travels across Joel’s handsome face as his jaw clenches hard.

“This shit…it takes away a lot.” He croaks out. “Hell I’ve even missed things with the girls. Didn’t want ya sacrificin’ your life or wakin’ up one day and realizin’ how much you’ve lost ‘cause of me…couldn’t let myself do that to you.”

Your chest aches like a rocket got shot into you. You’re angry he took that chance for you to decide, but you understand.

Joel never wants to be the cause of pain to others, especially those he loves.

He agonizes so much over his decisions and how corrupting he believes he is. When in reality every action he takes you know simply stems from his endless deep devotion to keep those he loves safe.

His decision to end your relationship was him, in his own frustrating Joel way, trying to keep you safe. Even if it was from himself.

Your lips tremble and you cuss bitterly hard under your breath.

“You damn stupid man.” You hiccup. “I didn’t…I don’t care what life fame would’ve given me with you. I would never resent you. For better or worse I just wanted a life with you, that’s all I ever wanted.”

Through a few sobs, you wipe the tears fogging up your sight.

Before you can see it happening, strong sturdy arms suddenly wrap around you and shock you breathless. Curled in Joel’s arms, it’s like a sad coming home party and you cry even more.

“M’so sorry, my darlin’.” Joel whispers against your forehead.

“I hate you.” You don’t. Even on your hardest days, you never could.

“I know, hate my fuckin’ ass too.” Joel replies.

His arms squeeze you tighter.

“Never stopped lovin’ you. Never will.” His voice wavers and now your arms wrap around him.

“You left.” You whisper back so small while tears continue to prickle in your eyes.

“I know honeydew, ‘n I’ll never forgive myself for it.” He replies fiercely like a strike of lightning with its bright force. “Been a fuckin’ mess without ya. Tommy would be the first to agree and the girls too.”

You absorb his words, basking in the safe haven that is Joel. Hours, maybe days pass just in his arms.

“Please forgive me, baby.” He whispers hoarse against your head.

You nod a soft yes.

Because even the part of you that wants to yell and stubbornly say no knows the ultimate answer is, and always will be, him.

“Of course…I love you.” You mutter half dazed against his strong chest. “Love of my life.”

Pressed so close to him, you feel how hard he swallows and his arms squeeze you impossibly tighter against you.

He says your name and you hum out a soft noise.

“Marry me.”

Your eyes, which have sort of glazed over, snap open wide.

“What?” You mutter out, maybe think you misheard him.

“Marry me.” Joel repeats himself.

You practically squawk like a confused bird and scramble in his arms.

“Joel Miller, you can’t be serious?!” You shriek through the tears still lingering in your voice.

Your face snaps up to him. His face is composed, almost serene in a way as he look at you with molten eyes.

“Serious as that g’damn ring I bought ya.”

His words are a mumble but so soft and unwavering. Your soul leaves your body like you were thrown into a cold lake.

“You what?” You stammer out.

“Y’heard me.” He nudges his chin to you. “A ring. Bought it after you dropped everything to go take care of the girls when they got sick.”

Too many emotions overwhelm you and the tears return with a vengeance.

Joel, like a steady man in the storm, places his warm hand on your face to gather you back into his embrace. He places the softest kiss to the side of your head.

“We gotta have a chat about discussing your feelings with me more, Miller.” You manage to chide him through your tears.

“I know.” He mutters against your skin while he continues softly kissing you with utter tenderness. “‘N I’m not lettin’ ya go again.”

You squeeze him hard, trying to burn his memory into your arms worried you’re going to wake up and find this is just a heartbroken hallucination.

“Baby,” he begins.

“Hm?”

“Stay with me for the night.” He urges. “The bus got plenty of room-”

“Ooo, is this what you say to all your groupies, Mr. Miller?” You tease with a snort.

“Behave.” His hand playfully squeezes your hip but his underlying somber tone even with his chuckle ignites a familiar heat brewing in you of the times he’s reprimanded you like that before.

“No groupies.” Joel reassures you. “Only you sweetheart, only ever gonna be you.”

His words flutter into your heart and make a nest there.

Gently you draw back to stare at Joel. Your hand moves to his face, aching to just touch him. Even in his arms you’re waiting for him to vanish from your touch as if he’s a figment of your wrecked heart, a ghost of lovers past haunting you now.

But his stubble tickles against your palm. Running warm as usual, his face feels like a soft morning sun. Your thumb strokes his cheek and his eyes close, melting into your hold.

Gently you place a soft kiss against the corner of his lips.

Joel now tilts his head so he can deepen the kiss before you can even draw away.

It’s not a consuming passion that you expected. No frantic fierce clash of lips or an overflow from a year passed between you two.

Instead it’s a soft welcome home. It’s a kiss you’ve given him when he’s come home late or when you leave for work.

Because his blood, his soul, you believe are simply stitched into the very fabric of you. It’s like a piece of you is returning back to you, or maybe back to your other home with him.

“So you gonna stay with me?” He mumbles against your lips.

“I don’t know Miller, you haven’t even offered to sign anything for me. What kind of famous country singer are you?” You smirk against his lips.

He laughs, hearty, a true wild deep one sweeping you into its joy.

“Hell yeah I’ll fuckin’ sign something for ya, our marriage certificate.” He snaps in classic grumpy Joel fashion and you almost think about dragging him to a courthouse.

You text your friend a million apologies and even take pictures of all the signed merch you’re bringing back to her.

Now in the cocoon of Joel’s cozy bed on his tour bus, among the warmth sheets, you hold the ring up in the dim light inspecting it. Because of course your secretly romantic man kept the ring with him.

“You sure you weren’t keeping this around for someone else?” You ask.

“Fuck no.” He growls low. “S’yours…only yours.”

From behind his arms slide around you and you’re encompassed by his swallowing presence. His beard scrapes against your shoulder.

“If ya don’t like it, can get ya another one.” He mutters casually but hesitant softness peeks out from under his gruff tone.

“It’s perfect.” You reassure him.

It’s the ring Joel got you then and it’s the ring you want now and always will. You even tell him that.

The kisses places on your bare shoulder whispers of his devotion.

“Honey.” However, his voice now is hesitant and makes you pause on your ring inspecting.

“I gotta ask…but do ya have my armadillo keychain?” Joel asks with an utter somberness.

You burst out laughing and it shakes your body.

“Honeydew, I’m being serious!” He growls out. “Want that lil’ fella back!”

Wheezing with giggles you lean back against Joel, floating so blissfully floating in renewed adoration.

Twisting in his arms your lips find his.

“Tryin’ to distract me ‘cause you lost him, huh?” He mutters.

You snort, shaking your head.

“No I just love you so much, you dumb cowboy.” You tell him.

“Your dumb cowboy. For better or worse.” He vows, kissing you back firmer now.

“For better or worse,” you nod breathing into him.

In this carved out slightly cramped space it feels holy, sacred, chapel like. You’re even afraid it might be gone tomorrow morning. However, the ring on your finger is the steeled reassurance it isn’t going anywhere.

But, just in case, you gather this glory and Joel into your arms with the promise of never letting go.

[harryssyndrome]

Backstage To My Heart

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐 | 𝐀𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦, 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞

The late afternoon sun spilled through the wide, arched windows of Harry’s music room, bathing the space in a soft, amber glow. The air was warm, still, and the room was filled with the scent of aged wood and leather, a mix of guitar cases and old vinyl records scattered across the shelves. Every corner of the room whispered of creativity—the walls were adorned with old tour posters, framed records, awards and Grammy won over time and the guitars that had borne witness to countless late nights of songwriting. But today, the atmosphere felt heavier, thick with frustration.

Harry sat in the middle of the room on a worn leather armchair, his acoustic guitar resting on his lap. His fingers danced along the frets, searching for the right chord, the perfect sequence to complete the song that had been gnawing at the edges of his mind for days. He played a progression, but something was off. He strummed again, slower this time, but the melody stubbornly refused to take shape. Each note felt flat, uninspired, like chasing a shadow that kept slipping away.

With a sigh, he leaned back and let the guitar rest against his knee, staring down at the notebook spread open on the floor. Lines of half-written lyrics spilled across the page, jagged and incomplete, just like the tune swirling in his head. He closed his eyes, willing the right words and sounds to come together, but the only thing that surfaced was a thought of her—Ashley.

She drifted into his mind like a soft breeze, uninvited but undeniable. He could almost hear her laugh, that melodic sound that always seemed to soothe him ever since he has met her. His fingers absentmindedly plucked the strings, and for a moment, he could feel a connection, a fleeting sense that he was on the verge of something. But just as quickly, the feeling slipped away, leaving him more frustrated than before.

"Focus," he muttered under his breath, shaking his head as if to dislodge the image of her from his thoughts. He was here to work on the music, not to be distracted by memories of her. But as he tried to refocus, his phone buzzed loudly on the table beside him, breaking the quiet tension of the room.

Harry grabbed it, glancing at the screen—Mitch. He sighed and answered.

“Mate, you alive in there?” Mitch’s voice rang out, a mix of humour and concern. “You’ve been off the grid for days. What are you doing, working yourself to death?”

Harry rubbed his eyes. “Just trying to crack this song. It’s not happening.”

“That’s your problem. You’re trying too hard. You need to loosen up.” There was a pause, then Mitch’s tone turned casual, persuasive. “Look, there’s this new pub down the street. Nothing fancy, but good drinks, good crowd. You should come out with me, take a breather.”

Harry hesitated, his gaze drifting back to the guitar. The idea of stepping away felt like giving up, but maybe Mitch was right. His shoulders were tight, and his mind was knotted with frustration. A break wouldn’t hurt, would it?

“C’mon, you’ve been in that cave too long,” Mitch added with a chuckle. “It’s just one drink. You’ll come back fresh.”

Harry let out a breath, feeling the weight of the past few hours pressing down on him. “Alright,” he finally said. “I’ll come.”

“There you go! I’ll swing by in ten. Be ready.”

As he hung up, Harry glanced back at his guitar, its strings still vibrating faintly from his last frustrated strum. The music would have to wait. Maybe stepping out, just for a while, was exactly what he needed.

He placed the guitar gently on the stand, grabbed his jacket from the hook by the door, and as he walked out of the room, the last of the sunlight began to fade, casting the room into a soft shadow, as if it, too, was ready for a pause.

As Harry and Mitch stepped into the pub, the cool evening air gave way to the warmth of low lighting and the hum of quiet conversation. The place was new but had the comforting charm of somewhere that felt lived in. The scent of wood polish and hops mingled in the air, and the soft strumming of acoustic guitar music played in the background, creating a laid-back, intimate atmosphere.

The pub was dimly lit with vintage Edison bulbs, casting a golden glow across the worn leather booths and dark wooden tables. Exposed brick walls lined the room, adorned with framed photos of local musicians and a few well-placed guitars mounted as decoration. A small stage sat in one corner, waiting for the night’s performer. The bar stretched along the far side of the room, made of dark mahogany, gleaming under the soft lights, with shelves stacked high with bottles of liquor that caught the light like stained glass.

As they made their way toward the bar, Harry took it all in, the rich warmth of the place immediately easing the tension in his shoulders. “Not bad,” he said with a nod of approval. “This place has a good vibe.”

Mitch grinned, nudging him with his elbow. “Told you. You need to get out more. You spend too much time locked up in that music room of yours.”

They reached the bar and slid onto the stools, the wood cool beneath them. Mitch motioned to the bartender, a young guy with tousled hair who looked like he knew his way around a cocktail shaker.

“What’ll it be, lads?” the bartender asked with a smile.

“Two glasses of your best whiskey,” Mitch replied without missing a beat, flashing Harry a grin. “No messing around tonight.”

Harry chuckled under his breath, shaking his head as the bartender poured their drinks. The clink of ice hitting the glass was satisfying, and the amber liquid swirled as the bartender slid the drinks toward them. Harry picked up his glass, feeling the weight of it in his hand. He took a sip, the warmth of the whiskey spreading through him, easing the lingering frustration from the day.

“Alright,” Mitch said, raising his glass for a quick toast. “To loosening up.”

Harry clinked his glass against Mitch’s and took another sip, leaning back slightly on his stool. For the first time in hours, he felt his mind start to settle, the constant churn of melodies and lyrics finally slowing down.

“So,” Mitch started, turning to Harry as he swirled his drink. “How’s the music going? Still wrestling with that new song?”

Harry let out a small sigh. “Yeah, still can’t crack it. Every time I think I’m close, it just... slips away.” He flicked his finger finishing the sentence.

Mitch nodded thoughtfully, taking a sip of his whiskey. “That happens sometimes. You’re too close to it, mate. Stepping back helps.” He leaned forward slightly. “Got any new ideas floating around?”

Harry shrugged. “A few. It’s all half-formed though. I’m trying to pin something down before the tour starts again.”

“Ah, the tour,” Mitch said with a grin. “That beast is always looming. Got all your setlists figured out?”

“More or less,” Harry replied, relaxing into the conversation. “But there’s always something last minute.”

Mitch took another sip of his drink, glancing around the pub. “Your family going to come to any of the shows this time?”

“Yeah, they’re planning to. You know how my mum is—she likes to be at as many shows as she can.”

Mitch chuckled. “That woman’s a legend. Always front row, cheering the loudest.”

Harry smiled, the thought of his mum’s unwavering support warming him. The conversation felt easy, familiar, as it always did with Mitch. But then, after a pause, Mitch’s tone shifted, just a touch more playful.

“So... what about you?” Mitch asked, raising an eyebrow. “When are you planning on settling down?”

Harry nearly choked on his drink, laughing as he set the glass down. “Where the hell did that come from?”

Mitch leaned back, grinning. “C’mon, mate. You’ve been on the road for years, music’s going great, but what about... the other stuff? You can’t stay single forever.”

Harry rubbed the back of his neck, trying to brush it off. “I don’t know,” he said, his voice quieter now. “Right now just doesn’t feel like the right time.”

Mitch cocked his head, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “And when is the right time?”

Harry swirled the whiskey in his glass, watching the amber liquid catch the light. He thought about it for a moment, then said, almost absently, “When I find the right person.”

There was a brief pause, and Mitch’s grin softened into something more serious. “Yeah, well, when you do, you better not let go of her.”

Before Harry could respond, the lights in the pub dimmed, drawing their attention toward the small stage in the corner. The hum of conversation quieted as a young woman stepped up with an acoustic guitar slung over her shoulder. She gave a shy smile to the crowd before starting to strum, her voice soft and clear, filling the room with a gentle melody.

Harry stared at the stage, the dim lighting casting a warm glow on the performer as she adjusted the microphone. For a moment, everything seemed to slow as the woman stepped fully into view, and his breath caught in his throat.

It was Ashley.

She wore a white dress fully covered with patch flowers that fell just above her knees, its full sleeves covered in delicate patches of white flowers. A black tie hung loosely around her neck, giving her a casual but effortlessly chic look. Her long hair flowed freely, tumbling past her waist, catching the soft light as she strummed her guitar, the stage becoming her canvas. She seemed both ethereal and grounded, her presence commanding yet calm on the stage she currently owned. Around her neck, a delicate locket caught the light, hinting at a personal story he longed to know.

As she began to sing, the gentle strumming of her guitar filled the pub, the audience hanging onto her every word. Harry's heart raced, an overwhelming sense of pride swelling within him as he watched her perform. She poured herself into each note, her voice weaving through the melodies with a depth that stirred something deep inside him.

The first few songs were well-known covers, classics that showcased her vocal range and emotional delivery. But then, as she transitioned into the next piece, Harry's breath hitched. It was his song—“Golden”—the very song he had poured his heart into, crafting it during one of those late-night writing sessions when the world felt both heavy and light.

He watched, entranced, as she sang the lyrics with a sincerity that took his breath away. Every word she spoke felt like a revelation, the way she brought his creation to life was like nothing he had imagined. The audience swayed with her, their eyes closed, feeling every emotion that washed over them in waves.

As the song neared its end, Harry felt a rush of adrenaline. Ashley’s eyes roamed the crowd, and for a split second, they locked onto his. He could see a flicker of surprise in her gaze, quickly replaced by a hint of nervousness. She hesitated for a moment, but Harry smiled widely and gestured with enthusiasm, giving her a thumbs-up. “You’re amazing!” he mouthed, and he could see the tension in her shoulders relax just a bit as she returned her focus to the song.

The final notes of “Golden” hung in the air, and the pub erupted into applause, cheers mingling with the clinking of glasses. Harry felt a rush of warmth flood through him, knowing she had truly captivated them. She beamed at the crowd, her confidence rising, and Harry couldn’t help but admire the way her spirit shone on stage.

After a brief pause, she took a deep breath, her smile widening as she announced, “Wow guys, thank you so much for sticking around with me this far! I never thought I would be doing this but it also never felt this right before so here’s a song I’ve written called ‘Carefree!’”

Harry's heart raced at the mention of her original work. He leaned in closer, eager to absorb every word she would share. The atmosphere in the pub shifted slightly; a sense of anticipation hung in the air, a collective breath held as Ashley began to play.

The first notes of “Carefree” flowed like a gentle stream, airy and light, but there was an undercurrent of yearning that pulled at the heartstrings. Her voice soared effortlessly, embodying the very essence of freedom and joy, yet with a hint of longing woven throughout the lyrics. Harry found himself lost in the moment, captivated by the way she expressed herself. Each note felt like a glimpse into her soul, and he was drawn deeper into her world with every line.

Around him, Mitch leaned closer, his eyes wide with awe. “I can’t believe this girl is playing small pub gigs,” he murmured, his tone a mix of disbelief and admiration. “With that kind of talent, someone should have signed her ages ago.”

Harry’s mind raced at Mitch’s words, a spark igniting within him. He turned his head slightly, watching Ashley as she sang, her face glowing under the soft lights. The realization hit him hard: she deserved more than this intimate setting. She needed the chance to share her music on a larger scale, to have her voice heard beyond these walls. The idea began to take shape—a plan to help her, to be the one who could give her the opportunity she so richly deserved.

As Ashley’s song came to a close, the audience erupted into applause once more, the sound echoing through the pub like a wave of appreciation. Harry felt his heart swell with pride, admiration, and something else—a fierce determination. He could help her.

He turned to Mitch, his mind buzzing with possibilities. “We need to do something,” he said, his voice firm. “I can’t just sit back and watch her play here when she has so much more to offer. I want to help her get noticed.”

Mitch’s expression shifted from surprise to understanding, and he nodded slowly. “I get it. You’re talking about getting her some real exposure, aren’t you?”

“Exactly,” Harry said, excitement bubbling in his chest. “I can talk to Jeff or use some connections. I can introduce her to the right people, get her a demo recorded. She needs to be seen. I can’t let her slip through the cracks.”

As he spoke, Harry’s resolve strengthened. He imagined Ashley on bigger stages, her voice filling arenas, her music reaching hearts all over the world. The thought made his pulse quicken; he could help turn that dream into a reality.

Harry said, his voice resolute. “She deserves more than this.”

Mitch grinned, raising his glass. “Now that’s something I’d like to see. Just don’t wait too long, mate. A voice like that… someone else is bound to notice soon.”

Harry nodded, his heart pounding with the possibilities. He wouldn’t wait. Not this time. He wouldn’t let her slip away, in more ways than one.

Just then, as the last notes of the performance faded into a warm, lingering echo, Ashley stepped off the stage, her cheeks flushed with exhilaration from the performance. Harry’s heart raced as she approached, and he felt a mix of excitement and nervousness bubble within him.

Harry stepped forward first, his voice genuine and warm. “You were amazing up there, Ash. Seriously, you sang ‘Golden’ better than me! I couldn’t take my eyes off you. That original song, ‘Carefree’? You’ve got a real gift.”

“Absolutely,” Mitch chimed in, leaning against the bar with a teasing grin. “If I were a record label, I’d be throwing money at you right now. But don’t worry, I’m not a label, so you’re safe from my awful negotiations.”

Ashley laughed softly, a light blush creeping across her cheeks. “Thank you, both of you. It means a lot to hear that, especially coming from you two. You’re both incredibly talented.” Her eyes sparkled with sincerity, and she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, clearly flattered yet shy under their praise.

“You were incredible. Seriously, you owned that stage.”

“Thanks!” she said, still beaming, her eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. “It’s been a while since I’ve performed. I felt so nervous at the start but now it felt good.”

Mitch chimed in, nudging Harry slightly. “Yeah, you can thank me I guess! I brought this man here. Well in all seriousness, you’ve got a real gift, Ashley. I mean, I can’t believe you’re still playing in places like this. You should be out there making records!”

Ashley laughed softly, a hint of modesty in her demeanor. “I appreciate that, but I’m just starting out. I’ve got a long way to go.”

Harry smiled, noticing her modesty. “You deserve every bit of it, Ash. Honestly, I was thinking…” He hesitated for a moment, gauging her reaction. “What do you say to joining us at the studio? We’ll show you around and hang out for some time.”

Ashley’s eyes widened, a mixture of surprise and excitement washing over her. “The studio? You really think I could…?”

“Of course,” Mitch interjected, his enthusiasm infectious. “I mean, I don’t usually let just anyone into the sacred space where we create magic, but I think we can make an exception for a star like you.”

“Wow, I mean, are you sure? Is it okay?,” Ashley said, her voice barely above a whisper and Harry simply nodded. “Then I’d love that.”

Harry felt a rush of anticipation. This was the start of something beautiful, and the idea of collaborating with Ashley excited him. “Great! Let’s head over there now. I think you’ll love the place.”

The studio was nestled in a quiet corner of town, an unassuming building that hid the magic within. As they entered, the familiar scent of polished wood and fresh paint filled the air, mingling with the remnants of soundwaves that had been captured within its walls. The dim lighting set a cozy ambiance, with soft spotlights highlighting the various instruments scattered around the room.

Mitch headed straight for the coffee station, his usual humorous commentary filling the air. “Alright, who wants some terrible coffee? I make it just the way I like it—too strong and slightly burnt. Just how the pros do it!”

Harry chuckled as he moved to the center of the room, gesturing for Ashley to explore. “Feel free to check out the instruments. We’ve got a great selection here. I think you’ll be surprised at what you can do.”

Ashley wandered around, her eyes wide with wonder. She approached a vintage guitar hanging on the wall, its wood polished to a warm sheen. “This one looks beautiful,” she said, her fingers lightly brushing the strings.

Harry watched her, noticing how her demeanor shifted when she was surrounded by the instruments. The shyness melted away, replaced by a quiet confidence. “Do you play often?” he asked, genuinely curious.

“Not as much as I’d like,” she replied, picking up the guitar. “I usually stick to my acoustic at home. It’s easier to write that way.”

“Let’s hear you play then,” Mitch said, appearing with three mugs of coffee, the steam rising like a delicate fog. “You’ve already wowed us once tonight. Let’s see if you can do it again.”

Ashley smiled, a glimmer of excitement in her eyes. She settled onto a nearby stool, the guitar cradled in her lap. “Okay, um… I’ve been working on something new,” Ashley said, her fingers gliding over the strings as she sought the right melody. The warm wood of the guitar felt familiar and comforting against her hands. She began to play a few soft notes, each one weaving into the next, forming a delicate tapestry of sound.

The studio was alive with a gentle hum of creativity as Ashley settled onto the plush couch, cradling her acoustic guitar in her lap. The soft glow of the overhead lights illuminated her features, highlighting the excitement in her eyes as she prepared to share her latest creation. She strummed a few chords, the sound resonating through the cozy space, and Harry and Mitch leaned in, intrigued, exchanging glances, both captivated by her focus. Mitch leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees, as Ashley began to sing:

“When the shadows fall and the night takes flight,

I’ll find my way through the darkness, I’ll be alright.

With the moon as my guide, I’ll dance on the edge,

In the quiet moments, I’ll make my pledge.”

The lyrics hung in the air, filled with a longing that resonated deeply with Harry. There was something magical about the way she poured her heart into her music, and he found himself mesmerized. When she finished, the room was quiet for a moment, the silence punctuated only by the soft strumming of her fingers on the strings.

Harry leaned back against the wall, absorbing the sound. It was clear that there was more to Ashley than met the eye; her talent extended beyond just singing. She poured her heart into the guitar, weaving intricate melodies that seemed to echo her emotions. The atmosphere in the studio transformed, the air thick with creativity and potential.

Mitch, ever the jokester, leaned over to Harry and whispered, “I think we might need to start looking for a new band name. ‘The Harley Show’ has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

Harry snorted, his gaze still fixed on Ashley as she played. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Mitch. But seriously, she’s incredible.”

As she finished, the last notes hung in the air like a beautiful memory. Ashley looked up, a bit shy, but there was a spark in her eyes that hadn’t been there before. “How was that?”

“Are you kidding?” Mitch exclaimed, setting down his coffee with an exaggerated flourish. “That was phenomenal! You should be on stage at Wembley, not just in this cozy little studio.”

“THAT was beautiful,” Mitch continued, breaking the spell. “You’ve got a real knack for this, Ashley. I mean, really, that was incredible.”

“Thank you!” Ashley replied, her cheeks flushing with warmth at the compliment. “It’s just a rough idea, but I thought I’d share it.”

“Rough idea?” Harry chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. “That’s not a rough idea; that’s a full-fledged song waiting to happen. You’ve got a real talent, Ash.” He leaned back, a grin spreading across his face. “You should definitely consider getting it recorded.”

Ashley smiled, a mixture of shyness and pride washing over her. “You really think so?”

“Absolutely,” Mitch chimed in, a playful glint in his eyes. “I’m just waiting for the day you’re headlining at Wembley. I’ll be in the front row, waving a big sign that says ‘I Knew Her When!’”

Ashley laughed, a light, melodious sound that seemed to echo in the room. “Thanks, guys. You’re making me blush.”

Mitch clapped his hands together, breaking the tension. “Alright, enough of the sappy stuff. Let’s get down to business. How about we record a little something tomorrow as a demo? Just to test the waters?”

Harry grinned, the atmosphere shifting back to playful banter. “Not a bad idea. What do you think, Ash? Ready to record your first hit?”

She chuckled, the nerves dissipating as excitement took their place. “What really!? I-I don’t know what to say… you’re not kidding right?”

“Nope, we’re being serious.” Harry asserted with a grin.

“I hope I don’t mess it up.”

“None at all,” Mitch replied, his tone light. “Just remember, if we flop, we can always blame it on Harry’s awful coffee.”

Harry rolled his eyes but couldn’t hide his smile. “Fine, but if we do flop, I’ll make sure the coffee is even worse next time.”

They spent the next few minutes exchanging ideas, laughing and bouncing thoughts off each other like a creative ping-pong match. The atmosphere was light, filled with a sense of camaraderie and mutual respect. Harry could feel the connection between them growing stronger, the excitement of collaboration igniting a spark he hadn’t felt in a while.

After a bit, Mitch checked his watch and sighed. “As much as I’d love to stick around and witness the birth of the next big hit, I really should get going. The family is probably wondering if I’ve been abducted by aliens or something.” He pushed himself off the wall and stretched his arms above his head, shaking off the lingering fatigue. “You two have fun with your songwriting, alright? I expect to hear some amazing things soon.”

“Thanks for stopping by, Mitch,” Harry said, clapping him on the shoulder. “We’ll be in touch.”

“Take care, guys!” Mitch waved as he made his way to the door, leaving Harry and Ashley in the cozy studio.

As the door clicked shut, a comfortable silence settled between them. Ashley fidgeted slightly, her gaze drifting toward the floor. “So… now what?” she asked, her voice soft yet curious.

Harry leaned back on the couch, looking at her with an inviting smile. “I guess we can talk some more about the music or maybe try to come up with some ideas? What do you think?”

Ashley hesitated, then looked up at him, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “Actually, I have an idea. Do you have any plans for the evening?”

“Nope, nothing on the agenda,” he replied, feeling a mix of curiosity and excitement.

“Perfect,” she said, her grin widening. “How about I take you to a secret place?”

“A secret place?” Harry raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Now you have my attention. What do you mean?”

“It’s a spot I found a while ago, tucked away from the city noise. It’s quiet and perfect for just hanging out. Plus, I think you’ll really like it,” Ashley explained, her excitement palpable.

“Lead the way, then,” Harry replied, standing up and stretching his legs. “I’m in.”

They made their way out of the studio, the cool evening air refreshing against their skin as they stepped into the street. The city around them was alive with lights and sounds, but Ashley seemed to know exactly where she was going, her confidence radiating as she walked ahead.

Harry couldn’t help but steal glances at her, captivated by the way she moved, her long hair cascading down her back and catching the soft glow of the streetlights. They walked in comfortable silence for a few moments, the sound of their footsteps echoing off the pavement.

Finally, Ashley turned down a narrow alleyway, her smile mischievous as she glanced back at him. “Trust me, it’s just around the corner.”

“I hope it’s not one of those situation where you inject me with something and kidnap me” He quips, earning a playful punch from Ashley.

They stepped through the alley, emerging into a small grassland bathed in the soft light of twinkling fairy lights strung between the trees. It was a hidden oasis, with a wooden gazebo at its center and colorful flowers blooming all around. The atmosphere was serene, a stark contrast to the bustling streets they had just left behind.

“Ta-da! Welcome to my secret place,” Ashley said, her voice filled with pride as she gestured around.

The night air crisp and filled with the soft sounds of nature, the only sounds being the soft rustle of leaves and the distant hum of city life that seemed so far away now. Ashley, with a small smile playing on her lips, stopped in the middle of the clearing and knelt down, unzipping her bag.

“I’ve been waiting for the perfect time to use this,” she said with a grin, pulling out a soft, plaid picnic blanket. She spread it over the green grass, smoothing out the edges with her hands.

Harry chuckled softly, watching her with a mix of amusement and admiration. “A picnic blanket, huh? You really come prepared.”

“I always come prepared,” she replied, shooting him a playful look before gesturing for him to join her. “This place isn’t just for music, you know. It’s for escaping, for breathing.”

Harry sat down beside her, resting his hands on his knees as he glanced around, taking in the serene atmosphere. The fairy lights above cast a gentle glow, the trees around them swaying lightly in the breeze, while the stars twinkled brightly in the clear night sky. It was peaceful—far removed from the chaos of their everyday lives.

Ashley placed her guitar and bag by their side, then, with a soft sigh, she lay down on her back, letting out a tired breath. “I come here to forget about everything,” she admitted, her voice quiet, almost reverent. “When things get too overwhelming, I just need to lie down, stare at the sky, and let it all go.”

Harry watched her for a moment, seeing the exhaustion etched into her features. The day had been long, filled with emotions and new experiences, and he could understand her need for calm. Slowly, he mirrored her movements, lying back on the blanket beside her, their shoulders just inches apart. He stared up at the night sky, the stars twinkling like tiny diamonds against the dark canvas above.

It was quiet for a while, the kind of comfortable silence where words weren't necessary. The tension of the day seemed to melt away, replaced by a sense of stillness that neither of them had experienced in a long time. For Harry, the weight of the world always felt like it was pressing down on him—whether it was the expectations of his fans, the constant scrutiny from the media, or the relentless schedule that came with being a global icon. But here, in this secret spot, all of that felt distant, almost irrelevant.

After a few minutes, Harry broke the silence, his voice soft but curious. “Why did you choose me to bring here? To share this secret with?”

Ashley turned her head slightly to look at him, her eyes reflecting the soft glow of the lights above. She took a deep breath before answering, her voice gentle but sincere. “Because you deserve it. You deserve a place where you can forget about all the noise, all the stress… even if it’s just for a little while.”

Harry felt a lump rise in his throat at her words. He wasn’t used to people seeing him in this way—beyond the fame, beyond the persona. But here was Ashley, someone who understood, who saw through the facade and recognized the pressure he carried every day.

She continued, her gaze still fixed on his. “I know it can be difficult… always being surrounded by cameras, being tracked by people wherever you go. It must feel like there’s no place left to just be you. That’s why I wanted to share this with you. I trust you with this place, Harry. And I think you need it more than I do.”

Her words hit him harder than he expected, and for a moment, he felt a wave of emotion rise within him. She understood him—really understood him—and that realization brought with it a sense of vulnerability. He had spent so much of his life guarded, carefully navigating the world as Harry Styles, the king of pop, the world renowned singer. But here, with her, he could just be Harry.

He swallowed hard, trying to gather his thoughts. “You… you really get it, don’t you?” His voice was quiet, but filled with gratitude.

“I think I do,” she replied, her tone soft but unwavering. “I know I haven’t been in your shoes, but I can imagine how overwhelming it must be. Everyone deserves a place to be free, to breathe.”

Harry turned his gaze back up to the stars, blinking away the sudden rush of emotion. He hadn’t expected to feel so understood, so seen, in a moment like this. After a beat, he took a deep breath and spoke, his voice low but steady. “I’ve been thinking a lot about this, and I want to tell you something.”

Ashley shifted slightly, her attention fully on him now. “What is it?”

Harry turned his head to face her, his expression serious but filled with warmth. “I want you to be a part of my next album. I’m going to talk to Jeff about it. I think your voice, your songwriting… it’s exactly what the album needs. You deserve to be heard, and I want to help make that happen.”

For a moment, Ashley didn’t say anything, her eyes wide with surprise as she processed his words. Then, suddenly, she lifted herself up from the blanket, her hands moving quickly to wrap around Harry. She pressed herself against him, her body half on top of his as she hugged him tightly, her voice trembling with emotion.

“Thank you,” her voice quivered, her face buried in his shoulder. “Thank you so much, Harry. You have no idea what this means to me.”

Harry, momentarily taken aback by the sudden gesture, hesitated before wrapping his arms around her in return, holding her close. Her gratitude, the raw emotion in her voice, struck him deeply. He had known it would mean a lot to her, but this reaction was more than he had anticipated.

“You deserve it, Ash,” he murmured softly into her hair. “You’re incredibly talented. The world needs to hear what you have to say.”

She pulled back slightly, her eyes glistening with unshed tears, but her smile was radiant. “I don’t even know what to say… I’ve never dreamt about it this way, it’s more than I deserve Harry. I don’t know how—”

“I know you deserve it. You’re capable of doing so much more, this is just the beginning!”

Harry smiled, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “You just have to trust yourself. Just keep being yourself, keep creating. The rest will fall into place. But for now you’re stuck with me.” Harry tries to lighten the mood.

“Gladly.”

Ashley lay back down beside him, her head resting lightly on his shoulder, and they both returned to staring up at the stars. The moment felt surreal, but also perfect—two people, connected by their shared love of music and a mutual understanding of the pressures they faced.

For the first time in what felt like forever, Harry felt a sense of peace wash over him. And as they lay there together, enveloped by the quiet of the night and the soft glow of the stars above, he knew that this—this simple, quiet moment—was exactly what he needed.

A/N: and that’s chapter 2 for you! I’ll be posting back to back till 13th of October so make sure to like or reblog my story masterlist for the marathon updates. The little lyrical portion is also written by me🥰 so all of this is my original work. DO NOT REPOST MY WORK!!! I WILL FIND YOU. DMs are always open here and on IG by the same username. Thx for your support so far!

Special thanks to @daisyblog for helping me on this journey. I adore you!🫶🏻

Taglist: @prettygurl-2009 @sassamanda77 (THE TAG-LIST IS OPEN)

Posted on: October 1st, 2024

[joocomics]

What do you think about the Heroes wanting to try exhibitionism? Be it in the dorms while the other members are around or if they're feeling really daring, letting another member watch. Or somewhere in public, like for Gunil I can see him wanting to do it in his car since he can drive - 🍑

xdinary heroes - #exhibitionism

smut | xdh x fem!reader | mdni

cw: public sex, exhibitionism, mentions of sexting, oral, masturbation

a/n: sorry it took me longer to get to this one! but i had so much fun with it you have no idea… hope you enjoy it and definitely let me know if you have something to add <3

♡ gunil

in the car

absolutely agree! gunil is so car sex coded it’s a lil insane… he’s so into pulling over to a random deserted place, reclining in his seat and have you ride him while his mouth is glued to your cleavage. he’s obsessed with the fact that he’s the only one that can tempt you to become reckless enough to blow him in public where anyone can pass by and look at you through the window

you start doing it so often that you inevitably end up having your spot. gunil appreciates sex with a nice view so most likely it’s a pretty one

he’s a sucker for little playful touches over his crotch area and thighs while he’s driving! he constantly has his hand on your thigh too, but the energy is totally different if you put a hand over his

at your work place

bf gunil loves visiting you at work! especially if your schedules differ from each others he makes sure to stop by whenever he can even if it’s just for a few minutes during your break. he also secretly wants to get to know the place and the people you’re around every day ngl

he cannot help, but get a little more touchy than necessary cause he misses you; finally having you in his embrace makes him so excited he’s finding it difficult to let go. before you know it he lifts you up against the wall, kissing everywhere his lips can touch

the fact someone from your coworkers can walk pass the room anytime and hear how good your boyfriend is fucking you arouses him even more, so he doesn’t last long (which is a good thing, right?)

♡ jungsu

in the dorm while the other members are around

i’ve said this before in my spanking post, but it’s totally valid for sex too - jungsu loves giving it to you behind thin walls. he fucks you in all of his favorite positions, and scolds you for being so loud. he makes you cum over and over again, shushing you while his fingers work in sync with his cock. but it’s impossible to be quiet and he knows that very well

when you ask why does he suddenly decide he’s horny every time the members are around if you’re not allowed to make any noise he shrugs with a cheeky smile, “cause it’s more fun”

in the recording booth

he will use the opportunity to get his dick sucked before other people arrive or if it’s just him in the recording room and needs a distraction

work is stressing him out, so when you come to watch the band recording a song, he makes you sit on his lap and calm his nerves with kisses while the others haven’t arrived yet. he knows how much time you got before they start coming, but having to glance at the door every two minutes while your mouth is wrapped around him definitely keeps him on his toes in the best way possible

what better way to warm up his voice than by making him cum, right?

♡ jiseok/gaon

public restrooms

it’s kind of cliche, it’s kind of nasty, but he loves it

something about pulling you in the bathroom of a restaurant or a coffee shop especially if you’re out with friends, and you have to return to the table with a straight face, does it for him. it’s a fun way to keep your sex life spicy

his favorite moment is when somebody walks in and he has to keep his hand over your mouth until they leave. he’s definitely trying hard not to burst out laughing, but damn it’s hot

letting others watch

jiseok sometimes forgets when there are people around you. when he falls in love he falls head over heels in love; he gets addicted to your taste and he constantly has his hands on you without even realising it

it begins with playful pecks; discrete pinches on your thighs and stuff like that until it evolves into a minute long make out that just keeps going, cause how are you supposed to resist those lips? there’s no way. you can be watching a movie with the members, or attending a birthday party - the surroundings don’t matter cause they disappear the second your lips connect, and you’re the only thing his eyes can see

when somebody finally says something, or you tell him to calm down he realises that he doesn’t mind having an audience. he gets to show off you after all. he doesn’t mind kissing you a little more, and helping out your hips to rock back and forth while his erection grows from all the attention that’s on both of you

♡ seungmin/o.de

in the dressing room

is it just me or seungmin being horny during work hours is hot on a totally different level?

he easily gets turned on while he’s getting his hair or makeup done, because of something you texted him, and that quickly turns it into a classic sexting. he knows it’s risky to continue with such conversation while there are so many people around him, literally anyone can take a peek at his screen and read the provocative things you describe to each other, but that makes it only more addicting, and he cannot put his phone away. the members & staff literally have to repeat themselves, because his mind keeps drifting to other places - wherever you are most likely with a hand between your legs

he really thought he can go through this without having to risk to go to the bathroom, especially when he has to be on the stage so soon, but his willpower is too fragile when it comes to you, so he politely excuses himself out of the room

at the cinema

the idea comes to him spontaneously. it’s dark, during the week days it’s not that crowded and your seats are far in the back. the thought slips in his mind out of nowhere, distracting him from the plot of the movie, and he decides to act on his impulses - he invites his hand between your thighs and keeps it there until you start to wince in your seat

it’s entertaining… having to be so discreet about it; watching you struggle to contain your emotions. he controls his hand movements by caressing you slow and gentle, careful not to move too much or too obviously

i think this place fits seungmin perfectly - it has the balance of being both intimate and risky. the sex after you arrive home is even better when he can now freely confront you about getting so wet around strangers

♡ hyeongjun/junhan

at your place while there are people around (family; friends; roommate)

hear me out… junhan can be really cheeky especially if he’s horny, and when he’s horny and something is restricting him from getting what he wants? he can still make it work

he leans back on the door of your room making you kneel in front of him. the voices coming from the other side of the door of the people who have no idea what you’re doing to him right now thrills him. it causes him to tug on your hair so hard your scalp burns and to also speak the dirtiest words he’s ever told you. the risky situation makes him bold

i specifically mention your place, cause i can see him getting more excited from the fact you’re ditching your people because of him. are you really so weak when it comes to pleasing him? you can’t even wait to be left alone first. what would they think about you if they find out how perverted you are when you’re with him?

backstage

again, needy junhan. he just cannot help it.

his mind clouds up if you go backstage to kiss him for good luck before a concert. his cock twitches at the sight of how gorgeous you look, and how your eyes skim his body up and down, you’re so obviously turned on by his outfit and makeup. if you compliment him it’s over. he pulls you by the hand right away with the words “come with me”

he promises himself that it’s just a one time thing; it’s risky and irresponsible, and he won’t do it again. but is he really going to be able to resist it? after it felt so good and you both came at the exact same time?

♡ jooyeon

in the practice room

jooyeon might as well add the practice room to his kink list. yes, it’s where he spends most of his time so it’s very convenient, but also… the thought of being caught or heard turns him on.. a lot!! doesn’t matter if it’s a quickie on the floor, a blowjob or just you showing him your pussy cause he misses you, most of the time you go to see him he ends up touching you in some ways that always lead to something like that

loves distracting himself by looking around and remembering all the dirty things you did together

while he’s on a call

while he’s on a call while gaming, but especially during regular calls on the phone!

as we mentioned earlier he has a thing for sneaky things like that, so imagine his excitement when he receives a call he has to answer cause it’s important while you’re in the middle of giving him head, and… you don’t stop. you bob your head up and down his shaft, you suck his tip just the way he likes, you do it all while he does everything to keep his composure and not let his voice betray him. he speaks low through drawed out words that together sound a little incoherent in a sentence, but the important thing is that the call is over just when he’s about to cum

if he’s really in the mood he’s willing to go far by even turning his camera on to keep you on your toes. it’s not fair if he’s the only one threatened to be caught

[pahtoosh]

too much

[image ID: a gif of Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan sitting next to each other and cocking their heads to the side. made by tumblr user weird-mumbling. /.end ID]

masterlist

18+

wc: ~6700 words (my longest one yet!)

warnings: slight angst. baby is overstimulated and has a meltdown. steve calls you sweetheart. bucky calls you babydoll. written on my phone.

a/n: i honestly had a really bad night. i was so overwhelmed and tired. it was five am and i couldn’t sleep bc it was so hot, so i started writing this. it was incredibly therapeutic for me and i hope it helps some of you too🤍

pairing: daddy!stucky x gn!little!reader (Dada = Steve, Baba = Bucky, Daddies = both Steve and Bucky)

summary: you’ve been holding in your stress for far too long. tonight’s party pushes you past your tipping point.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Tony was throwing a party to celebrate the team’s latest successful mission. Being the man that he is, he didn’t exactly need an excuse to throw a party, but he’d been on an “extravaganza cleanse” as he liked to call it. His last bash was nearly three months ago, so he’d surely be going all-out with this latest one. A couple weeks ago, the idea of a party excited you.

But these last few days have been terrible.

You kept running into problems left and right. Some of them weren’t a big deal on their own, but all together and combined with the stress of a party and the possibility of having to meet new people—maybe lots of new people—you’d had enough.

It was the day of the party. You’d been a little quiet all morning and afternoon, trying to conserve your energy. Steve and Bucky asked you if there was anything you needed to talk about, but you couldn’t find the words so you just shook your head.

They shared a worried look out of your glance while you continued forcefully stabbing fruits onto your fork from your afternoon snack.

It was now an hour before the party and your daddies decided to tidy up the place before leaving so your little family could come back to a clean home. Normally, you’d be alongside them cleaning too but they let you stay in your room because you were having a rough day.

The noises from cleaning brought you to your breaking point. As your mind raced, the sounds of the vacuum cleaner and Steve’s record player taunted you. It was as if you were being pulled in all directions with no end in sight.

A more focused baby might have put on their noise canceling headphones, but you were too overwhelmed to do anything more than lie in bed, eyes closed, with your palms pressed to your ears. You missed the sound of the vacuum cleaner turning off and your door opening. A gentle tap on your foot had you startled.

Eyes now wide open, you stared at Bucky with your hands still covering your ears. He took note of your distress and tried speaking as gently as possible.

“Hey, babydoll. Was the vacuum cleaner too loud for you?”

You nodded.

“Aw, Baba’s sorry about that. Dada and I are getting ready for the party now, do you wanna join us? Everyone’s so excited to see you.”

You were conflicted. On one hand, you really really didn’t want to even leave your bed right now. On the other, your daddies had been looking forward to this party and you didn’t want to disappoint them.

As you stared at Bucky, ears still covered and brow now furrowed, Steve walked in holding one of your new t-shirts on a hanger.

“I got someone’s new lucky dino shirt,” he said in a sing-song voice. He halted at the doorway, sensing the tension. The extra set of eyes on you and reminder that the party was happening now was the last straw.

You lost it. You burst into tears, flipping over and sobbing into your pillow. You pressed your hands even harder against your ears and kicked your feet on the bed.

“TOO MUCH! TOO MUCH TOO MUCH TOO MUCH!” you wailed.

You yelled until you couldn’t anymore. Your bed shook from the force of your movements.

Steve and Bucky watched, heartbroken as sobs racked your body. Steve set down the shirt and stood next to Bucky who was still sitting at the foot of the bed. They held each other’s hand, unsure of what to do at the moment. Normally, they’d be calming you down with a hug or a pat on the back but it seemed like touching you right now would only add to your overstimulation.

It was only minutes before your meltdown came to a stop, but it felt like you’d been screaming forever. Your cries died down, leaving you hiccuping into your pillow.

“Sweetheart?” Steve called out. “You don’t have to go to the party, it’s okay. We’ll all stay home tonight.”

You shook your head, still facing the pillow.

“No? You wanna go to the party?”

You shook your head again. “Daddies go. I stay.” Your words were muffled by the pillow but the punctual nature of your speech and your daddies’ super hearing allowed them to hear the message.

“Babydoll, we can’t leave you here alone,” Bucky started.

You kicked your legs again. “Go! Go go go!”

Bucky took a breath. He didn’t want to upset you anymore, but you were crossing boundaries. “Hey, that’s no way to talk to your Baba. You can’t stay home alone, you know this. Now, please be the big kid we know you are and tell us what’s wrong.”

You sniffled. Baba was right. You couldn’t stop or control the meltdown, but it was time to make things right now that you’d calmed down slightly. You flipped over slowly, hands now only partially covering your ears.

“S-sorry Baba. Sorry Dada,” you hiccuped. “I don’ wanna go. Is too much.” A tear rolled down your cheek and Steve instinctively wiped it away. You didn’t flinch: you were on the come down.

“We forgive you, baby. Now, we can’t let you stay home by yourself but how about a compromise? You can stay in your room and close the door. Baba and I will be in our room, quiet as a mouse,” Steve offered.

“You can take all the alone time you need. And if you need anything you can come to me and Dada or write us a note,” Bucky continued.

You gave the idea some thought. Some quiet alone time would’ve been helpful an hour or two ago. Now, you were tired and just wanted some love from your daddies. A little quiet together time sounded nicer than quiet alone time.

You shook your head. “Don’ wanna be alone nanymore. Can we watch cartoons? Just us and calm? And we cuddle?”

Your daddies cooed. “Of course, sweetheart. Do you wanna come here and give your daddies a hug?”

You nodded and got up to crawl to them. The three of you were squeezed onto your little bed, but you’d never been so comfortable. The pressure from your daddies’ strong arms and the group hug were very calming.

“May we kiss you, babydoll?”

“Yes. One at a time please.”

“Such a respectful baby we have,” Steve said, kissing your forehead.

Bucky agreed and pressed a kiss to your cheek.

The three of you migrated to the living room and you picked Arthur as the show for tonight. Steve prepared a plate with some of your safe foods in case you wanted a little snack before dinner. Bucky sat on the couch next to you, leaving you some space but you snuggled into his side, wanting the weight of his arm and the slight chill of the vibranium to help ground you.

Steve walked to the living room from the kitchen and set the plate down on the coffee table in front of you. “Am I allowed to join this cuddle session?” he asked.

You made grabby hands toward him, directing him to your left side. Your Dada placed his arm on the back of the couch so he could be closer to his two favorite people. He let you play with his other hand, twiddling around with his fingers while you watched the show.

Today might’ve had a rough start, but you ended up right where you belong.

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃

likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated!

[jswayman1]

can i request something hurt/comfort with brad marchand, maybe after the team gets knocked out?

i kneel in front of the locker you're already grieving, you turn to me; eyes haunted by the game to come. yellow has never felt so sorrowful.

IN WHICH, emotions run high pre-game, dreams hang on a knife's edge, and bonds are tested in the face of impending loss

i KNOW you requested a post-game fic, but BARE WID ME. already working on a part two for you.

2.5k words, 14k characters in all, LOTTA angst. 2023 Game 7 if that helps narrow it down for you. Yeah.

a song to listen to while reading: BEING LOVED ISN'T THE SAME AS BEING UNDERSTOOD, VINES

The arena’s cold, brisk air tingles against my skin as I step inside TD Garden. The familiar hum of fluorescent lights, the faint scent of popcorn, and the sharp, almost metallic tang of ice flood my senses, anchoring me in this moment. Tonight's Game 7 against the Florida Panthers holds a weight unlike any other game I’ve experienced.

This is my second playoff season with Brad, and the stakes have never felt higher. As the assistant captain of the Bruins, he’s shouldered immense pressure all season, trying to move past the once reckless and angry rat title he's held. Now, with the possibility of elimination looming, especially with their record this time, the atmosphere almost feels explosive with tension.

Walking through the corridors, I spot some of the other WAGs right in the tunnel. Their designer jackets, specifically made for them, and meticulously styled hair do little to hide the anxiety etched on their faces.

It’s not just about the game; it’s about what happens after. The camaraderie among us is palpable yet tinged with the growing rivalry these two teams have, we all want our partners to shine. To be the heroes, if you will; but only one team can win.

I pause near the lounge area, where a few of the wives and girlfriends have gathered. 

Mia, a jet-black-haired striking girl with an infectious laugh, waves me over. Her boyfriend, Jake, is one of the team’s wingers. We’ve bonded over the past few months, finding solace in shared experiences and the unique rhythm of hockey life.

"How are you holding up?" She asks, her voice a blend of concern and excitement. "First Game 7, right?"

"Yeah," I nod, attempting a smile. "It’s a lot to take in."

Mia’s eyes soften. "It doesn’t get easier, but you learn to ride the highs and brace for the lows. Tonight’s huge, though. The guys are feeling the pressure."

I glance around, taking in the nervous energy. "Have you seen Brad?"

Mia shakes her head. "Not since the warm-ups. He seemed focused, though. More than usual."

Before I can respond, Coach Montgomery appears, clipboard in hand, eyes scanning the room. His presence is commanding, a stark reminder of the gravity of tonight’s game. I’ve only exchanged pleasantries with him a few times, but his dedication is… well, pretty undeniable. What he’s done for this team in such a short amount of time is cinema.

"Ladies," he acknowledges us with a nod, his expression a mix of determination and weariness. "It’s going to be a tough one, but we’re prepared."

As he moves past, I catch sight of Jeremy Swayman, the young goaltender. His face is a mask of concentration, but there’s a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes. He’s the substitute tonight for Linus Ullmark, who's undoubtedly winning the Vezina, but out due to tearing his groin last game.

Jeremy has been performing well too - no doubt he's been the top backup in the league - but ever since Mia told me about his girlfriend Tori breaking up with him after three years together, he’s been struggling.

In addition, he now faces the pressure of ending the best season in NHL history and potentially losing key players Bergeron and Krejci to retirement if he fails to win this game.

I catch Jeremy's gaze for a brief moment, offering him a small, reassuring smile before he turns back to his thoughts. The weight on his shoulders is immense, and I can only imagine the whirlwind of emotions churning inside him.

I make my way over to Jeremy, hoping to give him some words of support before the game begins. As I approach, I observe how his hands are balled up into tight fists and his body is tense with nerves.

"You got this." I say softly, trying to break through his pre-game reverie.

Jeremy turns to me abruptly, his eyes widening a bit as he's pulled out of his thoughts. His face is tinged with surprise, but it's tinged with another emotion that I can't quite place.

He runs a hand through his messy hair, the brown strands sticking up and falling back around a pale, weary face. His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows, looking uncharacteristically vulnerable for a moment.

"Yeah?" he asks, voice hushed but rough from nerves.

"I mean it." I say firmly, holding his gaze. "You're an incredible goalie, and you've got this. I've seen you play. You've been the best backup in the league this season. You're ready for this."

Jeremy lets out a dry scoff, his hands clenching into even tighter fists next to him. The tension is obvious in his muscles, in the way his jaw is set and his shoulders are taut. "Pressure's on," he mutters, his voice dripping with a bitter mix of self-deprecation and nerves.

I let out a low breath, seeing how he's doubting himself already. "Pressure's always on in this league," I say quietly but with a sharp tone. But you've risen to the occasion every other time? You'll do it again tonight. I have faith in you."

He looks at me then, the doubt still in his eyes, but something else too. A flicker of vulnerability, of need for reassurance. He's fairly new, always been reserved and private from what I know about him, but I think tonight that veneer has cracked a bit.

Jeremy lets out a shaky exhale; his brow furrowed as he tries to rein in his nerves. I can see the internal struggle in his face, the battle between fear and confidence waged fiercely inside his mind.

"I don't know," he chokes out, his voice a strangled whisper. "This isn't just another game, and… -- well, I've never been the number one. They're all just… all watching. Expecting."

He looks away, his gaze going distant as he speaks, his voice wavering.

I step closer, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. He's tall, but even standing next to him, I can sense the way he's coiled so impossibly tight, holding all the pressure in his body.

"Yes, they're watching." I say, my voice low and sure. "But you've been trained for this. You're one of the most dedicated athletes I've ever seen. You've prepared for this moment. Use it."

His eyes dart to mine, and there's a flash of something like hope in them, before it's washed away by another wave of self-doubt.

Jeremy lets out a bitter laugh, but it's interrupted by a sharp inhale, as if he's trying to hold back something bigger. Maybe tears, maybe a scream, maybe just his emotions bubbling to the surface.

"I have been preparing, and I have trained." He says, his voice cracking a little despite his effort to keep composure. "I don't think it's going to be enough."

His gaze is wide and raw, a mixture of fear and desperation looking back at me.

"Enough is subjective." I say firmly, my grip on his shoulder tightening. "Don't let yourself spiral. You are enough, Jeremy. For this team, for this game, for yourself."

Jeremy sucks in a deep breath, his body shuddering under my touch. It's like I can feel the tension in his muscles, the way he's holding himself together physically but falling apart mentally.

His eyes close for a brief moment, his lashes trembling against his skin. When he opens them again, staring straight ahead, they're still wide in fear, but there's a fire there too.

"You make it sound so simple," he mutters, his voice choked with emotion. "It's not, though. Not when everything's on the line."

I nod, understanding his struggle even if I can't relate directly. The pressure he's under is enormous, more than most people will see in their lives. I can only imagine what it feels like to have the weight of such a thing on your shoulders.

"I know." I say softly, my tone a mix of softness and steel. "But you're not alone. The team believes in you. Brad believes in you. I believe in you. You just have to believe in yourself."

He gazes at me with his mouth half-open and eyebrows slightly raised, as if he is touched by what I said, but he doesn't have a chance to speak before--

"Swayman, get over here NOW!"

Jeremy's gaze snaps towards the voice, the harsh sound of his name being called in that authoritative tone breaking the fragile moment between us. His body stiffens, and the expression of vulnerability on his face vanishes, replaced by a mask of concentration.

I step back, watching as he takes a deep breath and squares his shoulders. He looks every bit the professional now, but I can see the turmoil of emotions just beneath the surface.

He glances back at me for a brief moment, his eyes reflecting a mix of determination and fear, and then he does as said, walking towards Coach Montgomery.

I leave him to his thoughts before making the decision to visit Brad quickly. The game is about to start, and the anticipation is nearly suffocating. I turn to reach the locker room entrance, where the muffled sounds of last-minute strategies and pep talks drift through the door.

Before I can enter, I’m… well, intercepted by Patrice Bergeron, the captain and Brad’s best friend. His usually warm and inviting eyes are shadowed with worry. Tonight could be his last game, and the weight of that knowledge is etched into every line of his face. 

"Hey," he greets me, his voice hushed. "You doing alright?"

"Trying to be," I admit. "How’s Brad?"

"He’s focused," Patrice replies. "But… it’s tough. We all know what’s at stake. Not just the game, but the future. Especially for guys like me and Krejci."

I swallow hard, feeling the lump in my throat. "It’s not going to be the same without you."

He smiles faintly, a bittersweet expression. "That’s life, isn’t it? Constantly changing. Just make sure you’re there for him, no matter what happens."

"I will," I promise, feeling the weight of his words settle over me.

As Patrice heads back into the locker room, I linger for a moment, gathering my thoughts. This is it. The culmination of an incredible, record-breaking season, and the potential end of an era. I take a deep breath and step inside.

As I push open the door to the bustling locker room, my gaze immediately lands on Brad. He sits on a bench in a secluded corner, his head bowed and hands knotted together as if in prayer. His shoulders are tense, his jaw clenched, and my heart sinks at the sight of him in such distress.

I cautiously approach, not wanting to disturb his intense focus. As I come closer, his gaze meets mine and my heart races with conflicting emotions. In his eyes, I see a fierce determination, but also a hint of fear and uncertainty. Yet there's something else, something deeper that I can't quite decipher. My mind is torn between wanting to ease his worry and wanting to understand the turmoil within him.

"Hey," I whisper, kneeling in front of him. "How are you holding up?"

He exhales sharply, reaching out to take my hands in his. "I’m … hanging in there. Lockin' in."

His grip on my hands is firm, almost desperate, and I can feel the slight tremble of his fingers. The weight of the game, the season, and the potential end of an era is bearing down on him, and it’s almost palpable in the air between us.

“You know you’ve got this," I say, my voice steady. "You’ve been incredible all season, Brad. No matter what happens tonight, you’ve given it everything."

His fingers tighten around my hands, a silent thank you. His expression doesn’t change, but there’s a small glimmer in his eyes that wasn’t there before. Despite his usual fiery personality, he looks more vulnerable than I’ve ever seen him, and it’s almost disconcerting.

"I just…" he starts, pausing to collect his thoughts.

It’s… well, rare for Brad to struggle with his words, and the brief moment of hesitation speaks volumes about the intensity of his thoughts. He takes another deep breath, his gaze fixed on our intertwined hands.

 "I just don’t want to let anyone down," he continues, his voice quieter. "The team. The city. Myself. I’ve worked so damn hard to get here."

He lets go of one of my hands, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. I can’t tell if his expression is torn between hope and resignation—

"I don’t want this season to be over," he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. "It’s been the best damn year of hockey I’ve ever played, and I don’t know what’s going to happen next. Nothing’s certain."

He clenches his jaw, his shoulders tensing. The thought of the future, uncertainty looming, is clearly weighing heavily on him, adding to the already immense pressure.

I squeeze his hand, trying to offer him some comfort, some reassurance. I honestly… don’t know that words aren’t enough to ease the anxiety coursing through him, but I do my best to convey my support and understanding.

"You’ve already done so much this season, Brad. You’ve broken records, led the team to greatness. This season is already a success, no matter what happens tonight."

"It doesn’t feel like enough."

His voice is tight, filled with a mixture of disappointment and determination. The drive to win, to push further, is just a part of who he is. Anything short of victory, no matter how incredible the season, will never be enough for him. "I want the fucking cup."

There’s no need to sugarcoat the truth. Winning the cup is the ultimate goal for every player in the league, and Brad has tasted its sweetness before. The hunger for that feeling, the need to experience it again, fuels his every move.

"I know you do." I sigh softly, rubbing my thumb over his knuckles soothingly. "And you know this team can do it. We all believe in you."

As the door creaks open, I see that there are only three of us in the room: myself, Brad, and now Patrice walking towards us. No one says anything, but when he reaches us, Patrice extends his gloved hand for Brad to take.

Brad looks up at Patrice, his gaze meeting his best friend’s steady one. For a moment, they share a silent exchange, the kind that only comes from years of understanding between brothers.

Brad reaches out and takes Patrice’s hand, holding on like he’d fall if let go. Their bond is evident in the subtle expressions they share, as if silently preparing themselves for the game ahead.

Patrice pulls him to his feet, standing shoulder to shoulder with him. They exchange a brief nod, a silent pact between teammates, friends, and brothers. The years they spent together, the memories they share, it’s all coming to a head on this one night.

Patrice claps him on the shoulder, a gesture of reassurance and support. "It's alright, man."

Brad lets out a deep breath, his expression a mix of determination and nervous energy. He gives Patrice a brief, sharp nod before turning back to me, meeting my gaze with a hint of vulnerability beneath his usual swagger.

I give his hand one last squeeze, wishing I could say more, do more, to ease his tension. "Go out there and play like only you can." I murmur, my voice soft and earnest. "We’re all counting on you."

[dustedmagazine]

Los Campesinos! — All Hell (Heart Swells)

In a way, 2013’s NO BLUES was the end of a particular version of Los Campesinos! and for reasons that had little to do with their personnel changes over the years since 2006. The septet is far from the first (or last) band to experience the music industry leaving them for dead in a ditch for a lack of profit, and sadly also not the only ones to get one of their best albums caught up in that moment. So, everyone returned to (or got) day jobs and although they never exactly split up, it took some time to determine that, yes, Los Campesinos! was still really going to keep going. But if 2017’s excellent Sick Scenes was proof of concept of Los Campesinos!’s vitality and potential, the new, even more self-motivated ethos has led to both the longest break between albums yet and (recency bias be damned) their strongest LP.

Readers of Dusted don’t need to be reminded that financial success does not necessarily correlate with any particular merit, but that the entirely in house All Hell (self-financed, self-produced, on their own label) wound up as their first UK top 40 record (14 with a bullet!) is at the very least a testament to how many people were waiting for this record and how satisfying they found it. In Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie’s classic music-as-magic comic book Phonogram, one of the main characters describes Los Campesinos! (before they’d even put out a record) to another as “They’re never going to be big big. But they’re going to be big to some people.” Increasingly, it seems that those people have found them. If you go to an LC! show in 2024 fully half or more of the crowd are kids who were not listening to records when Hold on Now, Youngster… came out in 2008, a delightful product of the band just resolutely doing what they do for close to 20 years now.

All Hell is a stirring reminder of what that is, exactly. Their Bandcamp page still describes them as “The UK’s first and only emo band,” and that fine blend of sarcasm, sincerity, standoffishness, insight, and a certain love of starting an argument still sums up some of frontman Gareth David’s authorial voice (although it doesn’t include his incredibly vivid and compelling way with both political and romantic heartache and longing). Guitarist and (here) producer Tom Bromley continues to write incredible songs for David to drop punchlines and emotional haymakers over, and has also burnished this into easily the best sounding Los Campesinos record to date. At this point these seven members have been playing together since 2014 and can turn on a dime and nail pretty much any melodic/emotional register they need to, harsh or comforting, anthemic or plangent.

Fans are likely to draw comparisons to 2010’s Romance Is Boring, often considered a high-water mark. The last three records followed the same straightforward format: 10-11 songs, 40-42 minutes. Romance Is Boring was their most complex, lengthy, and interconnected record, and there’s an ambition here that makes them feel like siblings (possibly partly the result of having more time to build up material). The 15 songs here in just under 50 minutes, with three numbered tracks splitting the record into rough sections, feels sprawling and expansive after the tighter organization of the last few.

You can really feel that extra decade-plus in the structures, songwriting, and sonics of All Hell, but the polish and compositional sophistication here don’t belie a lack of fire. “The Coin-Op Guillotine” is easily the gentlest opener they’ve ever done; there’s bleakness there (“I think I’m right, I don’t think it matters”) but the refrain still centers on the kind of community and solidarity that they’ve been trying to practice from business/concert practices on down: “if you’ve got a cross to bear/call my name, I’ll see you there.” And even there it’s still about our current dystopia, and the title clearly refers to more than just the arcade game.

And sure enough, the following “Holy Smoke (2005)” immediately snarks that ��nowadays it’s Live Laugh Love and Listen to Death From Above” over a headlong sprint (one of many places here where drummer Jason Adelinia is a crucial force). Even the magnificent “Feast of Tongues” (which arguably boasts a couple of the band’s best choruses to date), which swells from pensive backing “ooh”s and strings to one of the biggest, hardest hitting climaxes here, specifies that the title refers to when “we will feast on the tongues of the last bootlickers.”

As always, one of the challenges of writing about Los Campesinos! (as well as one of the joys of listening to them) is there are simply too many quotable lines, especially if you’re interested in the ways they refer back to their own history (dropping the “please” from the Romance Is Boring-era “can we all please just calm the fuck down?” as a teeth-gritted acknowledgment of how much less reasonable those they’re addressing have gotten since then) or just a good joke (if, say, “do you still have that one tattoo?/that’s how they work, of course you do” doesn’t work for you, another one will be along soon). And as much as All Hell is rich in the band’s traditional strengths, there are still moments of expansion. The crunching switchbacks of “Clown Blood/Orpheus’ Bobbing Head” are maybe the most aggro they’ve ever been, and the sweetly gloomy “kms” features Kim Paisey taking lead vocals for the first time.

Given the way the last two records have ended with some of their heaviest, weightiest songs, as they kick into the room-levelling angst of “0898 HEARTACHE” it feels like just that sort of crescendo. Instead, All Hell actually ends with the humbler melancholy of “Adult Acne Stigmata.” It’s the closest Los Campesinos! have come to an acoustic ballad, with multi-tracked Gareths sighing “it’s all hell, we know too well/it’s all hell” in the background. From another band, it might risk pathos or bathos; from Los Campesinos, it’s practically comforting. In the midst of inferno, we can all sing, and thrash, along.

Ian Mathers

[shesthejukeboxhero]

Don’t Blame Me

Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader (AU)

Warnings: Angst, Violence, Swearing, Alcohol, Parent Loss (flashback), Bullying (flashback) MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH!

Summary: What would have happened if instead of Billy being flayed, it was his girlfriend? (Title and ending inspired by “Don’t Blame Me by Taylor Swift)

A/N: I apologize for not posting in such a long time! I just needed the time to sit down and write this fully because who would want to read a part 2 when I could easily finish it in one part? Anyways, I hope you guys really enjoy this, it has been in my mind for a long time now.

“Oh Lord, save me, my drug is my baby, I'll be usin' for the rest of my life, Usin' for the rest of my life”

You had made plans for after graduation. Work hard all summer, move to California the day after Labor Day. You knew the day he asked you out formally that the two of you were endgame.

He got a job at the pool, you got a job at the new record store in the mall. Some days, he’d meet you at the mall for lunch, or you’d drive up to the pool to see him on your break. Sometimes, the two of you even rented a hotel room to spend the night together without fear of your families noticing. That’s what you were doing that night.

After stopping at your house to get some clothes for the night, you were driving to Motel 6, where Billy was waiting for you. Singing along happily to the Blondie song on the radio, you knew tonight was going to be a good night, until it wasn’t.

It came out of nowhere. The object shattered the windshield of your silver Ford Escort, sending your head straight into the steering wheel. Stepping out of your car to inspect the damage, you notice a weird gooey substance on the windshield.

“What the fuck…” you mutter to yourself when a random squeal and rustling in the bushes sounds out just a few feet from where you are now.

“Who’s there?” You say, suddenly becoming more panicked.

You move towards the bushes to investigate the sound but you suddenly get swept off your feet and you start getting pulled towards the steel mill.

“Let me go! Please, let me go!” You scream as you’re pulled down the stairs, gripping onto the top stair for your life, but the force is too strong. The creature now towers over you, like a giant tentacle. It latches onto your face and drowns out your screams.

Somehow, the creature lets go of you long enough for you to sprint out back to your car and drive away. You don’t know what the fuck just happened, but you know you HAVE to get away from that steel mill.

Eventually you spot a pay phone on the side of the road, and you pull over and sprint to it as fast as your legs can go. Dialing 911, you start getting flashbacks to being pulled down to the steel mill.

“911, what’s your emergency?”

As the flashbacks get more rampant, the lights start flickering more and more, when suddenly, it goes dark. It’s too quiet, not even the dial tone of the phone can be heard. Stepping out of the pay phone, you look around cautiously. As you walk back out into the road you spot a group of people hiding in the fog.

“What do you want?”

Dead silence.

“I said, what do you want?”

Suddenly a figure starts walking towards you. As they get closer, it’s a clone of yourself.

“To build. I want you to build.” Your clone says in a distorted voice, much different from your own.

“To build what?” You say, scared for your life.

“What you see.”

“I don’t understand.”

A crack of lightning sounds and the next thing you know your clone and the crowd are gone.

“I don’t understand! What do you mean, I don’t understand!”

Billy waited all night for you to show up, but you never did. He knew this was unlike you, and figured you’d have a good explanation when he came to visit you at work today. As he walks into the record store, he sees you wearing short shorts and a tank top, something you never wore unless it was incredibly hot out (which it was not that day.)

“Where were you last night?” He says, point-blankly.

“I had a change of plans.” You say, with no emotion in your voice.

“Take him, Y/N. He’s perfect” The voice says in your head, and you feel yourself losing control.

“Please, Y/N, tell me what I did wrong.” He says, looking into your eyes, which just feeds the monster’s desire to take him as the next victim. Feeling your control start to slip almost completely, you realize you have to get Billy out of here, quickly.

“GO AWAY BILLY, PLEASE!” You yell at him, and you see the hurt expression on his face.

“Fine.” He says, leaving without another word, and you mentally sigh of relief. He’s safe, for now. The black veins go back into your skin, and you run to the break room and grab one of the water bottles out of the fridge and chug it, grabbing the other one to cool your face down.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Your co-worker, Daniel says as he checks back in from his lunch break.

“Take him instead.” The monster says into your head. Without thinking, you approach Daniel and grab him by the neck.

“Y/N what the fuck are you doing?” He chokes out as he starts to lose consciousness.

“Relax, it will all be over soon.” You say with a soothing voice.

The days blend together, where your body is moving without you even knowing. Taking whoever the flayer tells you to take. The old lady at the grocery store, the little boy throwing a baseball against a brick wall downtown, anyone. You don’t even feel like yourself anymore, a shell of a girl who once had it all.

Meanwhile, Billy was working hard to figure out how to get you back. Max filled him in on the supernatural beings of Hawkins, so now he knows what happened to you.

“So, what worked for Will was getting him super hot. Is there a way to do that?” Max asks Billy.

“I don’t know… maybe trapping her at work?” He says, trying to come up with a way to save his girl.

The plan is to trap you at work on the day you work by yourself. Billy will barricade the doors from the outside while Eleven turns the thermostat up from outside the shop, while Max and the rest of the party stand outside. As Billy hauls all the materials to the back door, he feels his anxiety rush over him, worried for how you’re going to react. He shoves that feeling aside and quickly barricades all the doors beside the glass front one so you don’t see him until it’s too late. After returning to the front of the store, Eleven starts turning the thermostat up. As the numbers get higher and higher, the control over your mind is lower and lower. It’s getting too hot, and you know that he will be angry.

“It’s up all the way.” Eleven says, wiping the blood from her nose.

“Now we wait.” Max says, standing just behind her brother as he nails the wood planks into the walls of the store to barricade the door.

Your hands clench under the counter, fighting to keep any sanity you have left, but it’s getting to be too much to bare. Meeting Billy’s eyes through the window, your eyes start to water. Walking over to the door’s window, you desperately call out to him.

“Billy please…”

“Y/N…”

“I didn’t mean to!! He made me!”

“Who made you do what?”

“The.. the.. the black thing… the giant shadow!”

“Y/N, please, we only want to help you.” Billy rests his hand against yours through the glass window, and that’s when it snaps. Punching through the window, Billy jumps back in shock. Kicking the wood planks away from the door, the group knows they need to act fast. Lucas fired his wrist rocket at her head, but that just made it angrier. The veins blacken all over your body and you smash through the door, but Eleven slams your body hard against the back wall of the store. Getting her weak enough, you reach your hand out and strangle her but that’s when Mike slams one of the wood planks against your head, giving Eleven enough time to throw you through the back wall of the store.

You walk down the steps to the basement of the mill, where Daniel is waiting, with all the rest of your victims.

“What happened.” Daniel says calmly.

“They know. They know I’m the host.” you say angrily.

“Who attacked you?”

“The girl. Nearly killed me.”

“She cannot kill all of us though.” He says, gesturing to the large crowd behind him.

A few days later, after meeting up with Nancy and Jonathan, the group decides to search for the flayed in the void. You, Daniel, Daniel’s Parents, The Holloways, and Doris Driscoll are all confirmed victims of the mind flayer.

After the attack at the hospital, you and Daniel stand waiting as the mini flayer, comprised of Daniel’s father and Tom Holloway’s bodies, returns to the mill, you look at him and say, “It’s time.”

Back at the cabin, Eleven is deep inside the void searching for the flayed. While the kids argue about why she shouldn’t be in the void for as long as she has been, Billy and Nancy are busy calling local businesses to ask if they have any missing chemicals. Suddenly, Eleven removes her blindfold and says, “I found her.”

You’re sitting alone on your bed in your bedroom, surrounded by floral wallpaper and music posters. Suddenly, you look up and see Eleven. A tear slips from your eye as you show her the possessions you caused, before slipping into an old memory of your own.

It’s the day of the annual Halloween party at Tina’s. You park your car and walk up to the party, dressed in an angel costume. Sipping on red punch, you bump into a shirtless Billy behind you.

“Excuse me, angel.”

“Sorry…-“

“Billy. Billy Hargrove.”

“Y/N. Y/N L/N.”

“What do you say we leave this lame party and you can show me what heaven looks like, doll.”

Suddenly, the memory starts to fade away as a new one starts. In this memory, there’s a much younger version of you, kneeling beside a hospital bed. She sees it’s a woman who looks a lot like you… your mother.

“Daddy, when will mommy wake up?”

He doesn’t respond.

“Daddy?”

That memory fades into a new one, where you’re no older than 8 years old, where you’re sitting on a bench outside at recess, when a group of girls come up to you.

“You know L/N, you’d be a lot less ugly if you actually tried.”

“Yeah, you need a makeover.”

Looking up at them, you say, “No thanks…”

“Too bad.” One of the girls pulls out a pair of scissors, cutting a chunk of your hair off. They laugh as tears fall from your eyes and that’s when it fades to one last memory: the night you were flayed.

She watches as the object hits your windshield, to your desperate call to 911, to getting dragged down the stairs. Not being able to take it anymore, Eleven returns to the cabin to find it empty. Lights flickering, Eleven calls out to Mike.

“He can’t hear you.” You say, in a deeper voice than normal.

She gasps as you step out from one of the rooms.

“You shouldn’t have looked for me.” You say, stepping towards her menacingly. “Because now I see you. We can all see you.”

Eleven backs away, scared.

“You… let us in. And now, you are going to have to let us stay.”

Eleven trembles as you step close to her.

“Don’t you see? All this time, we’ve been building it…. For you. All that work, all that pain, all of it, for you.”

Eleven sobs as you stare at her, intimidating her.

“And now it’s time. Time to end it. And we are going to end you. And once you’re gone, we are going to end your friends.”

“No!” Eleven yells, sobbing.

“And then we are going to end everyone.”

Eleven returns back to the cabin she came from, sobbing. After telling the group everything, they hear a snarl from outside. Will’s neck flares up, and he says, “He’s here.”

Nancy arms herself with a shotgun, and Jonathan and Billy arm themselves with axes. The cabin shakes and then suddenly stops, and that’s when a tendril slams through the window towards Eleven. Billy slams his ax down on it, but it turns to attack Billy. Nancy distracts it long enough for Eleven to tear it apart, but then 2 more fly in. Struggling, she finally tears them apart, but then the mind flayer itself destroys the roof, wrapping one of its tendrils around Eleven’s ankle. Jonathan severs the tendril with the ax while the rest of the group pulls Eleven away from the monster. The piece wrapped around her ankle embeds itself in her leg but Mike rips it out. After Eleven tears it apart, they flee the cabin in Nancy’s car.

After stopping at the supermarket, they flee with fireworks in tow. The flayer sends you out to find them there, but you were too late. Dipping your fingers in the blood left behind from Eleven’s leg, you use it to track where they’re headed— Starcourt.

When you arrive, they are outside working on Nancy’s car, which was tampered with. You rev the engine of your car, getting the attention of the group. They hurry back inside while Nancy fires at you as you floor your car towards the mall, when suddenly a car slams into yours- Steve Harrington slammed the rich guy’s car into yours, giving them time to escape. Spotting Mike, Max, and Eleven trying to escape through a back entrance, you hurry out of the burning car to get them.

“Take the girl, ignore the others.”

Cornering the kids in the hallway, Max starts telling you positive memories, like when you and Billy went to prom together (you promised him you’d make it worth his while afterwards…), and when you helped her get ready for the snowball. None of it works though, and you slam both her and Mike into the wall, knocking them out cold. Knocking Eleven out as well, you hoist her over your shoulder and carry her out to the center of the mall to present to the mind flayer.

Leaning over her, Eleven starts to wake up. She starts telling you details from the memory she saw— the one of you and Billy on Halloween.

“It was Halloween… Billy was there… he called you angel… your little halo and your wings gave it away…. You were pretty, very pretty. Billy loved you the moment he saw you…”

Hearing the memory, a tear slips from your eye. Climbing off of her, you turn to face the mind flayer. As it shoots a tendril out to take Eleven, you stand in front of her, taking the tendril in your chest.

“NO!” Billy yells out, watching the tendril sink into your body as you fall to your knees. The flayer lets go of you because Lucas begins firing fireworks at it, distracting him. Billy runs over to your shaking body, barely conscious.

“Angel, please, don’t leave me…” he says, caressing your tear-stained and blood covered face.

“Billy, it’s okay…” you say softly. “I’ll be okay…”

He lifts you into his lap and holds you close. “But I won’t…”

“I’ll love you forever… just put the blame on me…”

“It’s not your fault, Y/N. Don’t blame yourself.”

You cough up blood. “Billy please, let me go… I love you…” you say, holding his hand before slipping into unconsciousness.

He stays right there, feeling the muscles in your hand fall weak as he still holds your hand, even when the paramedics try to remove you from his grasp. He sits in front of your grave, knowing you wanted him to move on, but he just can’t let you go. You were his drug, and he’ll keep on using the memories of you for the rest of his life.