#one more august august post after this (tho it might be after august ends actually)

[hachiibun]

Looks like Tuesday's bunny nose is giving him some trouble~💜🐰

The adorable Tuesday comes from the mind of @sneezytomatosquish — and also fun fact: this was based on a couple of actual snz occurrences I've had the privilege of witnessing from Squish himself~

If you like my drawings, and are willing and able to do so, please consider pledging to my Patreon or donating through ko-fi ☕! You're not obliged to, but every bit helps to keep me living decently and I really do appreciate it!

❗ PLEASE NO REBLOGGING TO NON-KINK BLOGS ❗

[woofwoofwolf]

That which matters more (part 1)

Tighnari x reader.

EDIT AS OF AUGUST 29TH: I'm still working on this fic, but it's going to be longer than I initially thought. (I'm currently at 20.000 words on chapter 9 out of a planned 18, but that will probably become more.) So you can see this as the first draft of chapter 1.

I know I keep saying this but I will most likely be posting soon ish, with weekly updates! I'm working really hard on this fic, so please stay tuned.

Warnings: Fem!reader, (though I think there is no gendered language in this chapter, but I might have missed something so fair warning) reader is aro/ace, (but again idk yet how big of a role this will play.) Minor injuries

1580 words

This is chapter one of a series I'm working on right now, and although I don't think I'm going to be able to finish it anytime soon, I think if people like it on here it might motivate me more to actually finish this? I currently have 5 chapters planned and I've started chapter 3, but I constantly go back and change stuff in previous chapters (the reason why I never post anything tbh) soooo... who knows. This first chapter might also get changed in the future, but I'm actually decently happy with it so far?

Let me know what you think! I'll post this to AO3 in the future.

“Be careful, please,” Collei nervously clasped her hands against her chest, eying the ivy covered ditch you were standing over. “You’re going to fall!”

“I almost got it, just stand back and don’t worry-” You gasped out. Your left arm was fully outstretched, while your right grabbed on to a branch sticking out from the ledge right across from the flower you were trying to pick. “After this we can go back to Gandharva Ville, I promise-”

“Got it!” You said when you finally had the stem of the flower between your fingers. However your  wide smile soon turned to shock as the dry root you were grabbing onto cracked and snapped, and sent you tumbling down a hole, right through the dense ivy.

Collei screamed as a dull thud sounded at the end of your tumble. “Oh my goodness, are you alright?!?!” Her knees fell to the ground to peer into the hole you just fell into, which was thankfully a lot less deep than she had thought it to be. What surprised her tho, was the big yellow cloud that hit her face, completely surrounding the both of you, while you were splayed out on a bed of moss, entirely covered in ivy and pollen. Around you were dozens of the mystery flowers you had just picked. “O-oh no- What do I do!”

A cough signalled that you were still alive. “A rope would be nice,” you groaned.

“Right! A Rope!” Collei sprang into action, quickly looking for a rope in her satchel. “Can you climb out on your own? Oh.. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to carry you.”

“I’m fine, I’m fine… I only scraped my knee a little bit,” You said as you tried to stand up on the slippery moss. Ugh, your leg was going to be sore for a while… “There’s so many of them!”

“I’ll bandage it as soon as I get you out!” Collei said as she secured the rope to a rock.

“No, not that! The flowers!” You pulled the ivy of your arms, making the pollen fly off you, making you cough again. “They sure produce a lot of pollen too… You think holes in the ground like these are their preferred habitat?”

Collei sighed with a small smile. “Well… At least you’re well enough to still be talking. You could’ve hit your head, you know? Master Tighnari isn’t going to be happy.”

She was right, you knew Tighnari was going to lecture you on your detour from your regular patrol, but you hoped that seeing this mysterious flower would distract him enough to not go on for too long.

You grabbed onto the rope, thankfully still able to climb out of the hole yourself. You triumphantly held up not only the flower you plucked earlier, but also two other samples, WITH roots attached. “They’re BEAUTIFUL! I bet not even Tighnari has seen these flower before!” Observing it a little more closely, it was very similar to a Sumeru rose, but the interesting thing that had drawn you closer to it in the first place was the fact that not only did it glow brighter than a regular similar rose, it had also been changing colours from a soft yellow, to a regular Sumeru rose purple, all the way up to a deep red. But it seemed to have stopped now that you had plucked it. Interesting, you were going to have to examine why that was.

Collei sheepishly smiled, but quickly worried herself over your bruised and bleeding knee. You tried not to worry her further by suppressing the coughs that were coming from your irritated throat, but she noticed nonetheless.

“It must be the pollen,” Collei said worriedly. “Oh no, What if it’s toxic?”

You pensively shook your head. “This flower doesn’t have the usual characteristics for that.” You explained. “Besides, you breathed in a good amount too just now, and you seem to be fine..?”

A bit of anxiety crept up in your chest. If Collei got sick because of you, you wouldn’t be able to face Tighnari ever again, nor would you be able to forgive yourself. You were going to have to hurry back to Gandharva Ville and ask the expert to be sure.

Said expert Tighnari was not very amused when you returned that evening, but before the lecture, came first aid. He quickly had baths filled for you and Collei. While Collei went to wash the pollen out of her hair, Tighnari went to re-examine and properly clean the wound on your knee.

“I collected samples of the pollen in some flasks, and brought a few complete specimens with the roots intact. They’re really quite unique flowers. I haven’t seen them in textbooks, nor have I ever seen them on our regular patrol routes. If you bring me a map, I can point out where we found these. If we figure out what made them grow there, I’m sure we could find more of them. I-” You were cut off by another coughing fit.

Tighnari watched you worriedly, taking out a stethoscope. “Could you lift up your top? I’d like to examine your breathing.”

You awkwardly did as he said and breathed in and out as he instructed. “I’ll be fine, really! I just took in a big gulp of dust and pollen, it’s only natural my lungs are irritated a bit. Collei breathed it in a small amount as well and she wasn’t coughing at all. This plant doesn’t have any of the usual characteristics present in flora that produce toxins.”

“Maybe.” Tighnari answered curtly, a blank expression on his face. “I’m going to have to examine the pollen to be sure.”

You were silent for a bit as Tighnari noted some things down on a clipboard. The lack of the usual annoyed and sassy lecture was spooking you a little bit. “Tighnari, I… I’m sorry…”

He sighed and finally looked you in the eye, looking for signs of sincerity. “At least you have the decency to know what you did wrong.”

You nodded. “I shouldn’t have put Collei in that position. Next time… Next time I’ll note the location on a map and ask for you or other forest watchers to come with me.”

“Good.” Tighnari said with a nod. “I know you didn’t deliberately put Collei in danger and that’s the only reason I can begin to look past this. I also agree that from the looks of it it’s part of the same genus as the Sumeru rose. If anything I’d be worried this points to an issue with the Ley lines, but I haven’t heard of any incidents that would point to this… They sure produce a lot of pollen though,” He was more so muttering to himself, than he was explaining anything to you.

“However-!” He pointed his pen right in your face, interrupting his own rant. “Although I’m very happy to see some enthusiasm from you, endangering yourself like that is still absolutely unacceptable.” Ah, there came the lecture. One you absolutely deserved, mind you. “Had you fallen unconscious, Collei would have had to go back to the village on her own to get help. Worst case scenario you could have broken your neck and died. The first and most important skill for a forest watcher to learn, is not the ability to secure the safety of the forest and its visitors, but the safety of themselves. Do you understand?”

“You guys talk as I’m not useful to have around at all.” You both turned to a pouting Collei, leaving your response to Tighnari unsaid.

“Your time as a full fledged watcher will come, Collei,” Tighnari calmly explained. “You’re still young, and besides that we have your condition to worry about. Beyond that you know you have my full trust.”

You self-consciously looked away from the two. You wondered what you could do to earn Tighnari’s trust like that. Maybe the flower you discovered really was a new species? Would that get him to talk to you about it?

“Oh I know,” Collei answered, timidly plucking at her nails. “I’m just saying.”

You interrupted the sweet scene with another set of coughs. “S-sorry.. my lungs and throat feel sore, it must’ve all gotten really irritated by all the dust…” Tighnari hummed in thought. “Best you go wash off all that pollen. I’ll have it examined as soon as possible. If that cough hasn’t gone away by tomorrow evening, please come and see me again. And we’re going to have to schedule you in for more forest safety training.”

You cleared your throat. You were hoping he was going to forget about any punishment. Then again, this probably didn’t count as such in his mind. “Alright. Thank you Tighnari.”

“And, (name),” He said after some hesitation, just before you were to leave the hut. You turned to him, met by his soft gaze.  “Please do know there’s nothing you have to prove to me, okay?”

You felt a warmth bloom across your chest. “…Okay.” With that you turned around to leave, but not before having another coughing fit. You quickly dashed out of Tighnari’s hut trying to muffle your cough with your hand. When you removed your hand you saw that you had coughed up a soft pink coloured petal covered in spit. Gross. Though, you supposed that this petal was what was stuck in your throat and that your cough would let up soon.

[anime-grimmy-art]

It’s this time of the year again, folks. Time to wrap up the art Ive made in the last 12 months in another Year in Review! I’ve noticed that this is my fifth Year in Review in a row, so I’ll be making an extra post looking back on the progress in those last 5 years!

I've got a lot to say about this year, but purely art wise, I've gone all when it comes to comics, damn! I've kinda found a format that is messy, and therefore more time efficient, yet still looks good. I even made 2 animatics and lotsa shorts/reels! All that on top of opening coms twice, and, oh yeah, MAKING A WHOLE ASS 4MIN ANIMATION ON MY OWN.

How is my hand still alive.

2023 has been….interesting, to say the least. The first half year I was working on my thesis project, aka making an animated short all on my own (in the art department), which makes it honestly surprising how much I managed to churn out between animating. Trigun rly did have me in a choke hold.

Summer was a bit more spotty, esp. with me not being able to draw anything during August as I was writing my thesis (and doing commissions). And towards the end of the year, Kingdom Hearts tried to save me, but alas, Genshin Impact has finally sunk its teeth into me and dragged me to the bottom of the rabbit hole. It all started with me watching a story summary and lore videos while I was sick after my thesis and I was too intrigued to not dig deeper and well, first I fell in love with Kaeya and then the ships started dropping in left and right.

I’m not gonna lie, the last few months have been weird. I finished my masters in October, and have been on job hunt since, sadly without success so far. I’m existing in this weird limbo of still not grasping I’m not a student anymore after 18 years in education, not really being able to accept I’m an adult, yet desperately trying to find something so I can make a routine, cos rn Im too scared to build a rhythm as I know I’ll have a so much harder time readjusting again. It’s left me in a weird emotional state, where most of the time I feel fine, but when it counts, there’s just, nothing. No joy at getting my diploma, no anticipation to finally go to a convention again, neither any sadness hearing my grandfather died. It frustrates me that it extends to my art as well, there’s excitement over ideas and concepts, but no motivation to pick up the pencil, which makes me either not finish art at all or making so many shortcuts and just ending up with sth not satisfactory to me since it’s not the idea I sought after.

Tho, not everything is doom and gloom. I DID finish a whole ass short animation and got my masters degree, that IS sth to be proud of. Also, while Im struggling at drawing, I’ve also kinda started integrating my shortcuts into my style and some stuff I’ve thrown together actually turns out real good nowadays. Also, and this might be a bit of a weird one, I’m so fucking happy to know I can still enjoy gay ships. I’ve been a bit uncertain over the last few years because when I was around 16-18, I had a real big yaoi phase, which mostly came from the fact so much stuff came out that tickled my brain in the right way (Free, Haikyuu, etc.). But over the years, my enthusiasm died down, and I even started to resent some ships because it’s all some fandoms produced. I often found myself liking a hetero ship more than the popular gay ship, which really made me not wanna stick around because I did not care for most fanart and you can only go through a tag with art you don’t care about so long before you lose interest. I think in retrospect that it rly had nothing to do with the ships being gay ships but rather cos the fans just shoved it in your face when you didn’t care (and shipping culture nowadays also can get real scary). But I’m so happy to see I can still get obsessed with a ship and it’s all thanks to Haikaveh/Kavetham. It really just needed the right flavour for me to dig in again. And oh my god, I FINALLY like a ship with a SHIT TON of art and fanfictions, no more scrounging the crumbs from the bottom of the barrel. 

Anyways, enough lamenting. Here’s to hoping I can bite my tongue and get shit started properly in 2024, and that my brainrots may make me obsessed enough to churn out an obscene amount of fanart again.

[pretty-idol-hell]

Finally playing Idol Land and being able to buy/collect all these coords again has finally made me want to do something I haven't wanted to do in a long, long time. And that something is...

At long last, reopen up my old PriPara binders, the ones which have been gathering dust in a corner for three years, and take a trip down memory lane. To look at all of all my old favorite coords, and remember all the struggles I've had collecting them.

And now, I feel like I need to explain a thing. For all the people joining promises with me and judging how much money I'm spending haha ha...

I said in a previous post that once I bought Yui/Nino's Yume Rares I'd be basically all set with all the coords I really really wanted to buy (except for Shion's SCR). But honestly, I was afraid that after looking through my binders that feeling might change. But actually it did not. There were a few coords I'd forgotten about which I'm hoping get re-released, but actually I'm honestly shocked at how many of my favorite coords have been released already such as the Paint Bat coord and the Marching coords, Aroma's initial PR, Hibiki's coords, etc.

But anyway.

I also found all my old tickets for all the coords I bought today and yesterday.

Remember, on the arcade game you could not directly buy coords. It was GATCHA. ONLY.

First up is Nino's team Yume Rare.

This one actually wasn't that bad.

I got the shoes on January 6th 2018, the accessory on January 18th, and the onepiece on January 26th. All with Luna.

(This is with spending at least one day a week most weeks like all day at the arcade tho.......)

Now let's look at Nino's initial Yume Rare.

First, I actually got the onepiece on August 16th, 2017. Then I got the shoes on August 25th.

I then got the accessory... on OCTOBER 3rd.

And it wasn't even while I was playing Luna! That's a Hinode ticket ahaha.

And as for Yui's initial Yume Rare. Umm...

I NEVER GOT IT.

It looks like Hinode got the accessory on June 25th 2017 but the other tickets are from randos. I bought it online way after the gatcha ended.

I definitely remember the struggle with this coord. I remember thinking the design was a total mess and convincing myself I didn't want it. It's not Luna's style.

But the more I stared at it. The more I just... noticed how complex it was, and all the little details here and there and I just... I dunno!

(Spongebob voice: I don't need it... I don't need it....)

I nnEEeeeeEED iiIIIT

And finally after months, MONTHS of pining, at some point I finally caved and bought it online through nefarious (unofficial) means. Because the arcade game wouldn't take my money to give it to me. (Okay no, no, it DID take my money but--)

Flash forward to today. Here's my character wearing the full coord on Idol Land.

Here it is, I bought it, done.

It is far more anticlimactic this way. But then again, would I have wanted to gatcha for it again? No no no no nooo.

I really do love this coord so much and I'm so happy to see the new version of my character in it. It looks even better on her now.

[beyejun]

hi everyone this is laur (except im changing my alias to august) and i figured i'd do all of my muse announcements in one lil post <3

first of all, you might have noticed that i've k*lled alex. it wasn't a lack of muse so much as i felt that he didn't suit wannabe's premise as much as i'd hoped he'd evolve into. even after his closest friends were getting signed, he had no interest in being an idol so it was kinda a lost cause there... plus, i had wanted to bring yejun back since i dropped him about a year ago, and didn't want to break any rules, so... here we are now!

if u remember yejun you might also remember that i dropped him almost exactly a year ago bc of my terrible seasonal depression. well, i am happy to report that i am doing much better (so far) this year and regularly taking vitamin d makes a huge difference! so now the boy is here to stay.

very little changed about him, but i'll still do a quick recap under the cut!

a lot of this is copied-pasted from my last intro post on yejun... work smarter not harder aksjdhfas

tl;dr of any changes

i changed his history a bit so the last year+ was spent doing his military service; he's only recently returned in time to return to his studies this fall semester.

he's in @bejoomi's band! drummer (which is also a new skill).

tl;dr of his backstory

knew he wanted to pursue music professionally basically since middle school, however his parents are extremely opposed to the idea and would rather see him do something more “respectable” (aka something that he’ll actually make money at lol)

saved up his allowance to buy his own guitar and taught himself to play with the help of youtube because his parents said that if they were going to pay for instrument lessons, he’d have to learn violin or piano or something more “formal”… so as u can see as a child he was (respectfully) defiant and did his own thing anyway (also learned the drums somehow in this time)

he made a deal w his parents that if he could get scouted by an entertainment company by the time he graduated high school, he could pursue music. obviously, he is not a trainee or an idol, so that failed. so his end of the bargain was that he’d go to university for whatever they wanted instead.

he had to retake the exam once bc the first time he took it his scores were so bad so he started a year late and is currently in his sophomore year as an economics major. it’s still a mild disappointment to his parents since he has a brother who is a lawyer and the other is in med school, but it was the best program that yejun could get into.

needless to say. he hates economics. he’s doing his best but his motivation is at an all time low, he constantly feels burned out and tired, and honestly he’s probably depressed but he doesn’t know it bc he doesn’t think he’s “bad enough” to be “actually depressed” but he is just gaslighting himself honestly

interests and personality quirks

since starting economics school he’s slowly lost motivation to do anything that he used to do for fun, which unfortunately includes playing guitar. he hasn’t touched it in about a year… :( he is playing drums again tho

does the bedtime revenge thing where he stays up late when he really shouldn’t… he says it’s bc he doesn’t want to wake up and have to go to class

because he doesn’t sleep much at night he survives on a delicate balance between a caffeine addiction (he loves a good iced americano) and mid-day depression naps.

kinda hard to get him out and about these days… but that said he’s into video games, mostly team-based first person shooters, and is apparently a tank main. i don’t actually play any first person shooters so i have no idea of the details on this but he’s supposedly a decent player (nowhere near pro but able to be somewhat competitive in casual games)… when he’s staying up all night he’s probably playing games with his friends

also plays minecraft when he wants something slower paced… not particularly good at anything in it but he likes building his silly little house

oh by the way! he has an aunt who lives near his parents who visited often… she’d often make remarks about his chubby cheeks, call him fat and ugly, and after growing up hearing that constantly yejun honestly believes her

another fun (and by fun i mean decidedly unfun) tidbit is that he had a gf he was very serious about in his freshman yr of uni… it was a relatively short relationship but he genuinely thought he’d marry her. until she gave him chlamydia right after he came home from the military (he was going to propose too btw). turns out she was cheating! needless to say they broke up, yejun is now healthy after a round of antibiotics, and he doesn’t want to talk about her ever again. he tried a rebound or two to see if they’d cheer him up but they honestly made him feel worse so he ditched that idea pretty quickly… happy to stay single for now (supposedly)

plots & relationships

this boy… needs some friends in his life that’ll deal with his depressive tendencies and maybe push him out of his comfort zone. maybe a friend who keeps trying to set him up w other girls to help him find someone who actually makes him forget about his ex? or a friend who invites him out for coffee at least once a week just to make sure he gets out of the house for something other than classes sometimes… other cute ideas too pls i would like to put so much love into his life he has no choice but to get better

classmates too ofc… i dont expect anyone else to be an economics major but maybe they had some gen eds together? or were in the same freshman orientation and stayed in touch? i didn’t specify where he’s going but it’s not an arts school, so this is open for plotting out the details!

along w classmates… study buddies? they dont have to go to the same school or anything tbh they can just meet up at the same libraries, cafes, etc. and work on their own stuff… just having someone else around helps keep yejun on track a little bit better

high school friends too… he went to sopa thanks to the deal w his parents, so anyone he was close with then would’ve probably known about it and known what became of it… he’s a lot quieter and more subdued than he used to be so i wonder what your muse would think about that 🤔

i also do love some good antagonistic plots so maybe some old rivals who are happy to kick him while he’s down… alternatively rivals who miss his competition and want him back in the music/idol wannabe scene to help push them both

considered the idea of him having been in a band in high school with friends that’s since dissolved… so ex-bandmates might be cool

he's in dead calm but there's no rules that say he can't also play in another band as well! maybe someone should convince him to pick up the guitar again

[vvyaspitofhell]

First actual post and keeping this like a progress journal format!

Game Progress:

Main Menu

Getting the Main Menu done was pretty easy with Renpys default code.

Using this video :

It really helped with customization.

But I plan to kick it up a notch and make the menu have a gif background! I want it to be more lively... the idea is that each game will show the characters you're experiencing the story with on screen.

In this case it will be Victor and Kojo.

But for now I want to get the base game stuff in order.

Custom Gui

I will add more to this but the GUI part have been a real trial and error cause I got too carried away and hoped into making art without thinking of how those assets could be reused. DONT BE LIKE ME.

Please map out the ideas of your color palletes, custom frames , menu backgrounds etc.

And please use a grid. Coding placement has me relearning x and y asis plus mental bs-ing while flipping between Clip and Booting up the code again.

Below is the Frame for Notification, the dialog box and and skip box. I personally like having them be super similar to keep the theming but I've seen others play around with them too.

Notes

And this is advice for EVERYTHING when typing the code but please please please use Notes , fellas.

Make sure to keep them brief. I tend to use them for reminding myself the exact moment a cg , sprite or animation should be used or like a "save point.

This is also good cause you really could overwhelmed yourself with a new cg for evey secne.

If I ever remaster the game I want to be able to use gif backgrounds some time, like ones with just a bit of light effects.

I have an idea of the style of music / sfx I want to use but for now the game is silent. So if I do end up never using music at all I want the best to atleast have a nice extra feel to them.

Pacing

A story board or flow chart is good to get the geenral idea of the pacing before , during and or after the dialogue/scene script is done. I've done both. Its been really helpful in cutting down on excess story, reusing assets and having you preplan your renpy files with necessary sections. Trust when I say coding can get uber messy and a clean code is such a breath of fresh air.

Below snippets of my Storyboard, flowchart and Google doc

Below Image of a professional doing his script folder sections. I think he divided it by chapter and special scenes? I have to find the og video.

One of my besties reads out the story outloud ( highly recommend) and my literature bestie is my editor. Both have seen the old flow charts/story boards , so its made the editing easier since the charts are a good "quick general recap" . They've also suggested way to tighten things or tell me to drop an unnecessary"path/storybeat"

My most up to date on is the Google docs (the tick box list) . I will miss my old story board, but some things have to go....this out of context part tho survived the GREAT EDIT.

So that's if for now! I started this progress last year around August/September and dedicated every Wednesday to be a Dev day, so I might try to make those nights/Thursdays when I update this blog on that stuff.

[ykintsaiwfml]

Post #4:

September 24, 2023 - 6:18pm

I've been writing in my journal more lately which I love. But I've also been really busy with school so I haven't realllyyyyyy had much time to do this. Man, this summer. I really spiraled tf out July/beginning of August. That psychic reading really fucked me up, I'm not gonna front lmfao. She said CT is my soul mate. And tbh I wasn't surprised. I feel like I've always felt that way/known that but because of all the hurt and lies attached to you I wouldn't allow myself to admit that. I don't know how I feel about it now currently in this moment in time. I While in Hawaii for my girls trip, I saw you posted another girl so you've obviously moved on. But is it forreal? You've been heavy on my mind, can you get the heck out? I need rest now. I try to keep from losing the rest of me. Still worry that I wasted the best of me on you sometimes but then I wonder if that is just my ego talking. Cause I don't think you were a waste at all. I feel like you are my one true love. You were literally my other half. We fit so well together physically, emotionally, family wise, just everythingggggggg. I might lowkey be traumatized or just not healed still. I'm working on it tho. Cause I'm sitting here thinking if I can't have you is love completely off the table? Do I sit this one out and wait for the next life? Am I too cold? Am I not nice? Is love completely off the table?

I sometimes sit here and think are we really over? Are you really moved on? Do you really not think about me like I think about you? Do you not miss me the way I miss you, miss us? I don't know, I still can only visualize my future with you. I don't see it with anyone else even with someone I caught feelings for lowkey after you. I wanted it so bad to work with them but it just kept coming back to you. I 1000000% don't regret standing my ground and holding my boundaries because dude how the fuck did you get me back just to fucking fumble me so hard again on some dumb ass shit. And then you tried to fight for me and us but why the hell did you even put yourself in a position to have to do that? When you knewwwww from the jump of us talking again that I wasn't gonna play that shit this time. And there you were playing that shit AGAIN. If you were in love with me the way you were why did you even risk losing me. AGAIN!? You had to lose me AGAIN for you to offer to get it together. To see what you would be losing. To acknowledge my worth and what I really meant to you. Like just get that shit together so we can get together. For ever. For life. For the rest of our existence. Because you know and I know that we are each other's person's. We are each other's one true love's. We are each other's end game. We are each other's soulmate's. I truly believe that and feel that in my bones, in my soul. So you can take your time. I'm gonna take mine. Heal, better yourself, become the man I know you want to be and will be. So that when we come back together when its our time, that will be it. You and me for the rest of our lives. I trust in God's divine timing. God's divine plan.

I'm actually doing really good by myself. Sometimes it gets lonely. But I know I'm never alone. I have God, my friends, my family. I am blessed. I am the luckiest girl. I am healthy. I am successful. I'm doing what's best for me and am not tolerating anything less than what I deserve.

ykintsaifml

6:38pm

[mywheelieweirdlife]

So I have been terrified of needles most of my life.

To the point where my biggest fear with transitioning was the number of blood tests and shots, hence starting with gel.

Well since getting covid in August, I have had really shit lung capacity and my brain and memory is shit. My stutter is also so much worse and I'm constantly slurring my words to the point we occasionally question if I may have actually had a stroke sometimes... but that's not actually the point of this post even tho it does add to it.

I'm about to start shots. Because my memory after having covid is so bad that I can never remember if I've taken my testosterone via gel, that every few months I now get to have one of my partners hold me while I have a mild panic attack about a needle being stabbed in my ass for a few minutes so that I can actually continue to transition.

My brain capacity no longer really exists, I'm moving in about 9-12 weeks to somewhere more accessible and manageable for me where I will have an office space and more time and energy to write my book on accessibility and sex (which has ended up becoming more of a sex education book for at least the first few chapters because when asking non-disabled friends their thoughts to see where peoples brains went I realised that abled bodied people don't know or understand basic anatomy or the brain and I realised that I was putting too much faith in public education); as well as starting to work on new health routines to try and improve some things that I might be able to fix.

But seeing covid not taken seriously again as I'm here fighting for the hope of functioning or the ability to tell my partners that I love them and why without stuttering or being so unable to get the words out I end up crying in frustration and giving up and just eventually texting it after looking up different ways of saying what I kinda want to say and using that to get the wording that works... not even the wording I want because that's usually too much, just what works.

And my words being so frustrating they bring me to tears isn't new... but that used to be stutter frustration and usually it was just one or two words that I couldn't get.

This is genuinely feeling similar to when I was freshly dealing with amnesia in 2018 and I couldn't remember things at all and there were just blank spots. But instead of being my memories, it's my everything.

And it's so fucking hard.

Covid isn't a curse that I would wish on anyone because for me it was like a flu where I just felt like something was more wrong than normal and then afterwards my body kept going and suddenly everything was burnt to the ground.

My language skills, my ability to understand words, to speak, to write efficiently (I know I can still kinda manage on my good days like today but these are rare af and I'm only here today because my partner has put a lot of effort in to help me the last few weeks) and to do my basic levels of work and care.

And it hit like a month later.

I thought it was a flare but then the flare didn't go away and I was trying to work it out and a friend very lovingly pointed out I've been like this ever since then seizure that hospitalised me after I'd had covid.

I'm a performer and artist; losing my voice is my biggest fear and I'm living it. I'm also constantly confronted with my other fears because of this.

Extra needles because I can't take meds normally anymore, heights because I constantly need to be picked up and the people in my life who can lift me are all (roughly) 6ft giants and I'm 5'ft (ish) and really don't like loss of control, and being seen and being naked in a vulnerable position… well guess who's had to accept help showering and has had to actually let someone see what it looks like for me to navigate my room without legs because I was paralysed and they were on a video call and couldn't help me right at that moment and I really really just wanted to feel a tad more human.

I genuinely would only wish this on one person I've ever known and that is the same person I would light on fire if the purge was real. And even then I feel it would be extreme even for my sense of justice.

Basically; the pandemic isn't over, wash your hands, wear your masks, social distance and get vaccinated if you can. Stay home if you're sick and don't be an ass to people who are trying their best to also not get sick.

[gets-eeby-deebied]

late to this but, as someone who more recently discovered a lot of MCR's lesser known music and unreleased songs (which their version of Jack The Ripper is actually a cover but is still really good), i've compiled a list of “rare” songs i found that i think every MCR fan should get to enjoy (feel free to skip the long explanations for each one, i just felt like info dumping about it). list with links to each song under the cut :)

Lesser Known MCR Music and Unreleased Tracks:

The Mad Gear and Missile Kid EP - was included in the "California 2019" box set for the Danger Days album and wasn't available on streaming services until recently, meant to be an album written by Mad Gear in the universe of Danger Days

Zero Percent - a scrapped song for Danger Days, was re-included as a pre-gap track on standard versions of the album, a bonus track on the Japanese deluxe version, and a B-side for the UK single version of "Na Na Na". pretty sure this one isn't available on streaming sevices (pretty sure it's not on apple music which is what i use, feel free to correct me if i'm wrong about other services tho)

The Drugs - unreleased song originally written for Conventional Weapons but was scrapped along with 11 other unreleased songs, was played in concert once back in 2009. they never released the studio version so only the 2009 concert recordings are available.

Sister to Sleep - scrapped song for Three Cheers that has only been played in concert twice, once in June 2003 and another time back in October 2022. both live recordings of this aren't great so i've liked really good studio cover of it instead (it kinda sounds like MCR slightly to the left). according to the band there was a studio demo of this song but none of them know where the 6 copies of it are. Matt Pelissier did leak a couple short clips of it at one point but had to take them down soon after so presumably he does have a copy but can't release it for legal reasons.

Someone Out There Loves You - originally played at a concert of just 200 people in October 2007 where Gerard refused to give the name of the song (you can see him talking about it at the end of the video i linked, it's pretty funny lol), the professional recording (from the concert, not a studio version) of the song was later released as "Untitled [Live in Hoboken, NJ]" as part of "The Black Parade Is Dead!". for a while this song was unofficially called "Stay" by fans until Gerard revealed the name in a tweet back in 2013.

Honorable Mentions:

Television All The Time - this is for anyone that likes Gerard's solo album Hesitant Alien, was added as a bonus track for Japanese versions of the album but isn't available on other versions as far as i know

Songs from The Black Parade/Living with Ghosts (10th Anniversary Edition) - these one might be a bit more well known but not as many people talk about it so here: ⁜ The Five of Us Are Dying (Rough Mix) ⁜ Party at the End of the World (Live Demo) ⁜ Not That Kind of Girl (Live Demo) ⁜ Emily (Rough Mix) ⁜ All the Angels (Live Demo)

Bury Me In Black (Demo Version) - this one is also probably pretty well known but it took me a while to hear about it after i became a fan back in 2019 so i'm adding it for any newer fans who may come across this post

and thats all i got for now, lets hope they release more demos and also new stuff in the future. i only became a fan of MCR in like 2019 before they announced their reunion (which before they announced it i was sad that i'd never get to experience them live, 18 year old me would be so jealous that i got to see them last august and literally got proposed to by my partner in the middle of the mosh pit during Teenagers lmao), i literally avoided listening to them for years before that and for what? they're now my all time favorite brand and i've been hyperfixating on the history of the band and their music for months now lmao

hey to all the people whomst lost their shit over mcr playing B side album songs this past tour;

get on youtube and search "my chemical romance jack the ripper"

I know you Fandom monsters haven't found it yet because the videos referring to this song have less than a quadrillion views.

go crash that shit, if you know what's good for you.

[stiltonbasket]

Twelve Moons and a Fortnight wrap-up Q & A!

(brief note that this post does contain spoilers, so don’t click past the cut unless you’ve finished reading!)

__

1. Hi Stilton! I love you and TMAAF! The way you write the letters really feels organic and like people writing letters to other people in a time where communication wasn't instantaneous and thats a pet peeve I have with some fics that treat letters like text. I don't know if you've been asked this but what's your inspiration for the letters? Did you just make them up as they are? Did you look at old letters and studied the tone? @iwillbetrash4eva

I made the letters up as they are, but it was essential for me to keep in mind that the characters are all highly educated, and that Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian, and Nie Huaisang in particular are very accomplished in the arts. Letters written by someone who composes music and poetry in their spare time aren’t going to be the same as emails and text messages written for the sake of raw information transfer, so I made sure to incorporate that into the letters; they’re written on pretty paper, usually in the sender’s best calligraphy, and it takes time to sit down and write them, so there’s an aspect of aesthetic reflection there that we rarely notice in modern communication.

I also felt that the characters would include snapshots of their lives and feelings while writing; this was more important with Wei Wuxian, since he throws himself so deeply into his daily life, but I also had to remember how important the past is to all of the characters and how enmeshed it is with their relevant current events. Ultimately, each letter serves as an extra look into the characters’ state of mind, which is something the narrative might not give us. 

2. What was your favorite scene in TMAAF, and which OC was the most fun to write? @keela1221

My favorite scene was Wei Wuxian’s departure from Lotus Pier in chapter 46, especially the part when everyone chased after him! I planned it several months in advance (sometime last summer, I think?) so finally getting to write it felt amazing.

Surprisingly, my favorite original characters to write (besides the main additions of Xiao-Yu, Yu Zhenhong, and Li Shuai) were the Jiang juniors. They love their Wei-zongzhu so much ;~;

3. What made you think of writing this fic? And would you consider a special epilogue because I don't think 50 chapters were nearly enough for me.❤ @avezevin

I think I just wanted to speculate about what cultivation politics might have been like after Jin Guangyao died, and TMAAF was born! And I most likely will be posting an epilogue, since I realized that the Zhenqing wedding works best as a coda instead of as a fic of its own.

4. what's your research process for tmaaf? the worldbuilding is so detailed!!

I read posts on tradition and culture and use them as sources if the chance ever comes along. A significant portion of the lore was entirely made up, but @light8828 helped me with some of the language, and offered so much guidance on cultivation worldbuilding <3

5. I really like the way you write the dynamic between Wei ying and lan zhan with their kids in all your stories. Xiao-Yu is a very lovable character and his relationship with his parents is something I go back to read many times. What do you use as inspiration when writing his, or any of his siblings, relationship with their parents?

Real life, I guess. Some of my older friends have recently had children, and they’re very good parents. :3

6. Where will you be going with the series? I need to prepare myself for heartbreak if the end is approaching, (its ok if you dont know tho! Idk is an optimistic answer, its just that you seem to have many things plotting away in that brain of yours)

Up next, I’m going to finish all the fics in the series that are still in progress, and then I’m going to write Lan Xichen’s fic, maybe a fic from Wen Qing’s point of view, a fic focusing on a reincarnated Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen, and a fic from Jin Yun’s POV focusing on his relationship with LXC and the latter’s death and ascension. This doesn’t count all the fluffy wangxian oneshots still bubbling on the back burner, so I expect this series to keep me busy well into 2022. *sweats*

7. TMAAF Q&A: when did you decide you were bringing wen qing back? what led you to making her return a result of the soul-summoning array, rather than having her have survived by some other method? @mischief7manager

I decided that Wen Qing would be returning sometime between chapters 12 and 15, since that was when I knew I wanted her to be the one to cure Wei Wuxian. And as much as I liked the idea of Wen Qing surviving, I didn’t want her to be imprisoned for the 16-year interim; it was important that she appear in TMAAF as she was before her death rather than having over a decade of character development off-screen. But she wasn’t a fierce corpse that could just be put to sleep for all that time, hence the soul-summoning.

8. For the Q&A: Stilton, how did you come up with such an adorable perfect little child like Xiao-Yu?? You write him so well it really does seem like it’s a child talking!! @whereisyourcahier​

He’s partly based on a real baby I know. :P It might sound impossible, but he’s even cuter than Xiao-Yu is.

9. Thank you for doing this Q&A! Was Xiao Yu always part of the story? (Ilhim so much!!)

He was! I always wanted Wangxian to experience parenthood together, so Xiao-Yu’s entry was planned long before he actually appeared in the fic.

10. how did you deal with any writers block that came up?

By reading comments!! I have all of you to thank for that <3<3!!!!!!

11. What was the process for plotting each arc of tmaaf? & when did you decide on what the storyline was going to be? Did you know when you started or did you incorporate stuff as you wrote?

I hashed out the whole plot at once sometime last May, and that was when I laid down the rough storyline. The overall plot was finalized by the time chapter 18 went up, though I did add further details as I went along. In particular, the mini-arc of Wei Wuxian investigating the Yangshuo plague was mostly written on the fly.

12. how long have you been planning the wen qing lang xiyan reveal? has it been something set in stone from the start?

I’ve been planning it since last April, though the exact circumstances weren’t clear until around August or September. Originally, Jiang Cheng was going to ask “Lang Xiyan” to marry him after her mourning period was over, only for her to reveal herself as Wen Qing before accepting, but I soon realized that this wouldn’t fit either of their characters. Wen Ning recognizing her was the only way the reveal made sense (both emotionally and logically) so I had to find a reason to bring him to Yunmeng at exactly the right time.

13. I just want to ask two little things (well three). Where we will be able to read the wedding of baby Zizhen and A-Qing? Will there be Chengqing? And with the last question, if it's yes, will you write a one shot, drabble or something like that?? 🥺🥺🥺

I’m going to post a 51st chapter to TMAAF with the Zhenqing wedding as an epilogue, and Jiang Cheng and Wen Qing are married by then! Wen Qing will most likely be getting a fic of her own, focusing on the time between her revival and her engagement to Jiang Cheng.

14. I just finished reading your fic and let me tell you it's one of the best I have ever had the pleasure to read :) For someone who wants to start writing, how did you start the story? Did you wrote everything with a little scheme or you just leave your brain to work in the document?

I wasn’t planning to write fic for MDZS/CQL at all, and then I randomly ended up outlining, drafting, and posting the first chapter of TMAAF within the span of around two hours. When starting a story, I think it works best for me to just let my brain work in the document without worrying too much about how it might turn out--outlines and schemes tend to come later, after I’ve gotten a feel for how the characters act and laid down some dead-basic worldbuilding.

If you’re just starting out, make sure you’re having fun and that everything you write is as self-indulgent as possible! Enjoying the process is the most important thing, worrying about all the specifics can come later. <3

[lady-grace-pens]

A Rant-ish HTKAG Update:

YO

New final word count estimate just dropped boys are y’all ready for this

ALMOST TWO HUNDRED FUCKING THOUSAND

NEARLY 200,000 WORDS

have you ANY IDEA how many PAGES THAT IS

YEAH NEITHER DO I

Actually I think… it should be… around 600 or so pages maybe?? That’s on a Google Doc formatted to be like 6x9, NOT the standard. (I’m pretty sure that’s what it is anyway…)

But still

Yeah

It’s gonna be a bit more than 150k that’s for sure 😂😅😭☠️

The thing is

I don’t even know WHY or HOW this babe got to be so damn big. Like legit I haven’t the slightest idea. It just kinda sorta happened y’know?

But that’s not to say I don’t have theories regarding to how. Because I do.

I think it might be because of the way I write.

Because like, I’m one of those writers who writes in first person and I like to state the pov character’s direct thoughts as well. That happens pretty stinking often because I also write in present tense.

Sooo yeah, there is basically no 4th wall here 😂

And like, all that adds up I guess. Especially when you take into consideration the amount of events that happen and secrets and subplots there are.

I write anywhere from 10-15k (at my worst) to 20k (at my best) per month so assuming that things keep going steady, I’m still on track to finish in fall of this year.

And of course I know this is a first draft, and the word count is bound to change with editing. I know I don’t need to focus too much on it right now. I usually don’t, but it’s just fun making estimates on how many words it’ll turn out to be.

As far as my progress at the current moment goes:

I’ve made a lot since the last update! I hit 130,000 recently. I’ve FINALLY gotten to reveal a major secret that was introduced in the beginning of the story, Allister is currently officially on a DATE with a certain special someone !! Legit he shows up at her door with a necklace and a dozen roses and her mom gives him The Talk (have her home by midnight or else. That one, y’all know the one). And just- nJJSJSJJjsjdjJj I love them

Sooo yeah, lots of progress has been made 😂 I’m in the middle of the book I’d say. Possibly nearing the end of the middle. I estimate that I’ll hit the climax scene sometime in September, and all of August will be building up the tension required to launch the climax scene. And once I do, it should be smooth sailing from there on out to the ending.

As I’ve said I’ve reached another word goal, so another excerpt is due! I have some good options but I might do some sort of ask game again, or something special like that just for a change. If y’all want anything special lemme know bc I really don’t have anything in mind yet 😂

Buut I’ll get out of y’all’s hair for now. Hope everyone is having a wonderful day or night!

Taglist (let me know if you want to be added or removed!): @vampire-with-a-pen @kazenokaori @writingonesdreams @justyouraveragewriter @dahladahlabills

—

Hot hot secret if you’ve made it this far into the post:

After the climax scene, I’m planning on telling most of the falling action through journal entries. I can’t say why (because spoilers, duh) buuut it’s going to be suuper super fun! And honestly depending on how long these journal entires take for me to write, I might finish htkag in October. Might. It depends on a lot. The amount of them, how many of them I have The Vibes for, good vs bad writing days… etc. So I might fly through them, I might not. I’m not there yet so I’m not sure. Hey, fingers crossed tho!

[zmediaoutlet]

my year of fic (2020)

I had a lapse in doing this, because the end of 2019 was just---a haze---but I thought it might be fun to try again on this, my first day off of 2021. Ignoring for a moment the armed sedition and the pandemic and the general feeling like the world’s about to spin upside down, I think it might be a good day. Let me try to feel some joy in writing, so that I might do some more writing this weekend. There’s a chance!

Per the AO3 stats tracker:

Total words written in 2020: 278,664 (Compared to 2019: 201,375 -- definite improvement!) That brings the overall AO3 published total to: 1,160,723. Jesus. I need another hobby, haha.

I’ll try to collect a year masterlist below, but let’s see what happened with stats first.

fic with most hits, which is not the same thing as best: no disguising truths i’ve sold -- y’all are fiends for the dadsex, just admit it. It always gives me a giggle how many hits these ones have with so few people actually interacting. :)

fic with most kudos, which I guess means people admitted they liked it: there will be better days -- which I guess isn’t a surprise, written when it was, but it’s still super gratifying to see that people enjoyed it. This one takes top spot for most of the other categories, too, so I’m going to go for the 2nd-placers on the next few...

fic with (2nd-)most comment threads, which I guess means people wanted to chat about it: In a Cursed Hour, which is a pleasant surprise! This is the very long gen (with sneaky pining!Dean), the first part of which was technically finished this year. I hope I come back to it at some point, because the story is... great, haha. Just super hard to write. Gratifying that people wanted to talk about it!

fic with (2nd-)most bookmarks, which I guess means people want to read it again: see things so much clearer -- aw, now that’s a nice surprise! This kinda felt like channeling old-school weecest, in some ways, so it’s cool that people seem to have enjoyed it.

fic with (2nd)-most subscriptions, which I guess means people are hoping for more: welcome to capitalism -- another nice surprise! I almost forgot about this one: a little ruthless, a little kind. Logical choices in a world that sucks, kind of my favorite genre, haha.

longest fic: what comes after certainty -- ow, ow. This is a---strange one---started in 2019 before the haze, published finally in a bit of ignominy, still not read by the recipient I’m pretty sure because it’s fucking depressing, haha. But I’m kinda proud of it, or at least proud of myself for finishing it, so I guess it’s good that I spent this many words on it.

least popular fic, if we’re going by kudos: transference -- lol, that makes sense -- Umbrella Academy momcest? That said tho, it’s kinda fun and you should read it. Diego’s just the biggest mommy’s boy. Ahem.

The best thing writing-wise about this year was stretching into stuff I wouldn’t normally write, thanks to the charity drives. Maybe I’ll try to do that again this year; I’m sure something horrific will happen that will need some monetary support.

In the meantime, here are all of the fics I wrote this year, in order that they were written. Probably Sam/Dean unless otherwise specified. Imagine retrospective montage music:

January

none. no surprise here.

February

the hollow summer - E. Boy King Sam, AU.

March

‘he has a kiss stuck in his mouth’ - M. Pining!Dean, Stanford era.

no disguising truths i’ve sold - E. John/Deanna, pre-series.

“I almost died” - T. Jared/Jensen, firefighter!Jared fluff.

‘sam waking dean up with his mouth’ - E, somnophilia, married!sex.

relay - E, D/s play.

April

extreme pollen warning - E, sex pollen, established relationship.

whatever we were before - E, Dragon Age AU, mage!Sam/warrior!Dean.

‘cokehead!Alex’ - T. Alex/JDM; part one.

pragmatics - E. Established wincest, past Dean/others. Prostitution.

May

teamwork (makes the dream work) - Alex/Jared/Jensen. cokehead!verse pt 2.

to dream of the next - E. First time, pining!Sam.

In a Cursed Hour: Protesting Fate Supreme - T. Men of Letters AU, ch.6.

June

FFFB 1 - M. Gabriel/Rowena, meeting through the years.

FFFB 2 - E. A/B/O, first time.

FFFB 3 - E. Jensen/Jeff, voyeur!Jared, Non-AU.

FFFB 4 - M. Cloud/Sephiroth, mindfuck.

FFFB 5 - M. Amos/Alex, pantykink.

FFFB 6 - E. Dubcon shading to noncon, pining!Dean.

FFFB 7 - M. Hannibal/Will, first kiss.

FFFB 8 - E. Post-Michael possession, piercings, body mods.

FFFB 9 - M. Tony Stark/Stephen Strange, AU.

FFFB 10 - M. Dean/Bobby, Stanford era.

FFFB 11 - E. Mommy!kink, bunker era.

FFFB 12 - M. Gen, Sam’s wall, mild self-harm.

FFFB 13 - M. Sam Wilson & Bucky Barnes, racial discussion.

FFFB 14 - M. s2, Sam’s cast.

FFFB 15 - E. Jared/Jensen, established relationship, CBT.

FFFB 16 - E. weecest, first time.

FFFB 17 - M. Sam/Dean/Jack.

FFFB 18 - M. Amnesia.

FFFB 19 - E. BDSM, sub!Dean, dildos.

FFFB 20 - E. A/B/O, demon!Dean, noncon.

FFFB 21 - T. Established relationship, Stanford discussion.

FFFB 22 - E. Dubcon, time travel, soulless!Sam/young!Dean, prostitution.

FFFB 23 - M. Implied Dean/John, jealous!Sam.

FFFB 24 - E. ‘The End’!verse, Lucifer!Sam/Dean, noncon.

FFFB 25 - E. Tentacles, body horror, oviposition.

FFFB 26 - E. Belly bulge!kink.

July

none. apparently I needed a break.

August

have a cigar - E. Sam’s powers, slight D/s.

welcome to capitalism - E. Jared/Jensen, prostitution.

September

the wealth gap - E. ‘capitalism’ pt 2; Jared/Jensen, prostitution.

what comes after certainty - M. Mutual pining, amnesia.

reunion theory - E. Cloud/Sephiroth, Cloud/Hojo. Body horror, torture, mpreg. Fic for fire relief 1.

the honeytrap - E. Jared/Jensen, mob!AU. FFFR 2.

scotch courage - M. Sam/Kevin, hair play. FFFR 3.

he will tear your city down - E. Damen/Laurent, slight D/s. FFFR 4.

cyrano - E. Jensen/Antony Starr, established J2. D/s, consensual infidelity. FFFR 5.

two runners on base - E. Dean/Deacon, established relationship, BDSM, DP. FFFR 6.

what’s to stop me, pretty baby - E. Noncon, MoC!Dean. FFFR 7.

the need to choose - E. A/B/O, pregnant!Dean. FFFR 8.

transference - E. Diego Hargreeves/Grace, mommy kink. FFFR 9.

vertex - E. John/Dean, Stanford era, pining!Dean. FFFR 10.

faith without works is dead - M. Sam’s powers, violence, dubcon. FFFR 11.

be subject to each other - E. Photography, facial. FFFR 12.

October

you know i’m gonna be like him - M. Past Dean/John, child abuse. FFFR 13.

unbalance - E. A/B/O, Jared/Jensen, prostitute!Jared. FFFR 14.

buccaneer - E. Crowley/Deanna, demon!Dean, always-a-girl!Dean. FFFR 15.

make much of time - E. Sam/Dean/Jack, virginity kink. FFFR 16.

see things so much clearer - E. Pre-series, first time, diaries. FFFR 17.

won’t let you let me down so easily - E. Sam/Brady, Sam/others, Stanford era, mind control, gangbang, noncon. FFFR 18.

the beams of our house are cedar - E. Bunker era, panties, feminization. FFFR 19.

November

negotiation tactics - E. Homelander/Soldier Boy, D/s, superpower sex.

finale coda - M. Heaven.

15.19 coda - T. Jack as god.

there will be better days - E. Heaven, first time.

December

a leaden anchor - E. Post-Playthings.

That’s it. I haven’t had a single writing thought in my head since that last one. Here’s hoping it comes back in 2021!

[cross-d-a]

fic tag game

aaahhh @vishcount thank you for tagging me!!! These are so fun and I adored reading about your fic journey~!  ೖ(⑅σ̑ᴗσ̑)ೖ ❤

OH as a note!! For the ppl I tag at the end I don’t expect you to read all of this bc it’s A Lot!!! but I figured you might want to do this game yourself? haha :)

Name: cross-d-a shortened version of my first ever username. unfortunately stuck with it now haha but i’m fond of it :p wish it was cuter tho!!

Posting the rest of this under the cut so it doesn’t eat up people’s dashes!! 

(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

Fandoms: 

oKAY YIKES there are....honestly too many too name. I’ve got a short and obsessive attention span so it’s either all or nothing with me usually. When I can stay in a fandom for a long period of time it’s a miracle. I’ll name the bigger ones that I’ve all written fic for! Even if I’ve never posted them haha

Right now I’m very firmly into Daomu Biji (dmbj). It feels like it’s both got a crap ton of content and yet barely anything at all haha. Maybe because the English fandom is so small. But at least there are a bunch of dramas and books!!! I really, really, really adore dmbj so much!! And a large part of that is the fandom!!! It's been a really cool and unique experience! Everyone in it is truly so kind and wonderful, and I’ve made some really incredible friends because of it (looking at you vish!! ❤). I’ve got a bunch of wips, but I’ve only posted two fics for dmbj!

Before this I was very into Guardian and mdzs. MDZS was my first foray into cdramas and Guardian’s Zhu Yilong really suckered me into watching more haha I also have fics for both these fandoms!

My very first fandoms were Fullmetal Alchemist, D. Gray-Man and Naruto. My very old ffnet account has fics for these and I’ve got a bunch of newer wips on my tablet. Then Star Trek, Twilight, BBC Merlin, Sherlock, Death Note, Harry Potter, How to Train Your Dragon, Battlestar Galactica, Avatar the Last Airbender and Marvel were a few of my main ones in high school. Plus a bunch of anime (like Fruits Basket! and Kuroshitsuji and Natsume Yuujinchou). 

Then college hit and I renewed my childhood love of Tolkien (mainly lotr and the Hobbit), and Star Wars. I also found Teen Wolf! Then after college it was Stranger Things. 

I find myself in a cycle of mild fondness and complete obsession with these fandoms haha I go back to Star Wars at least once a year!! Then I’m in the gffa hole for a few months. Marvel also reoccurs, depending on how interested I am in new content! Star Trek I always always always go back to. TOS is my comfort show and it will never fade from my heart ❤

But for now I’m stuck in cdrama hell and I love it

Tropes: 

Time travel, found family, whump+hurt/comfort, fairytale-like elements, resurrective immortality (thanks to a “Nine Lives” Hobbit fic), CROSSOVERS

I’m a slut for all these things so they often worm their way into my plots haha

I also just- love weird premises. I think that’s the anime influencing me haha

Fic I spent most time on: 

My series he leaves sand and stardust in my wake (main fic is hurricane on the edge of oblivion), I have...spent five years on now. I have done so much research for this fic it’s insane. 

The premise is force ghost!Obi-Wan getting shunted back into his tiny 10 year old self. I incorporate a shit ton of legends and I try to stay as canon as possible. I basically want this au to feel like it’s 1000% plausible while still getting all my gay shit. It’s chock full of whump, redemption, found family, minor characters turning into major characters, and I’ve got slavery uprising on the mind, too. It’s just- everything I could ever want to explore in the Star Wars universe basically. 

It’s my first big project. I started doodling and scribbling ideas in the margins of my notebook in my Scottish History class. I adore it so so so much. But, because of my hyperfixation and fleeting intense obsession with things it makes it- really difficult to consistently update. I leave it for months at a time and I am constantly guilt-ridden about it. Because it’s my baby and I have a lot of wonderful readers. I fear I’ll never be able to finish it. Especially since I’ve written so much and I’m still only in the beginning of it. ( ; A ; )

Also, I’ve spent so much time with Xanatos, Feemor and Bruck that they just feel like mine now. I can’t read any fics that involve them, it’s too strange. Which is a damn shame because I love them so much haha OH ALSO!! I think it’s the first really big fic to include those three?? So I’m very proud about that haha (I’ve had so many ppl comment about how they actually Give A Shit about these three and are Invested bc of me haha)

Favorite fic(s) you’ve written: 

hurricane on the edge of oblivion (with nowhere to go) (Star Wars)

My long-term passion project. My love-letter to Star Wars, I suppose. Reading it now I feel like a lot of it is clunky or long-winded, but I think it really shows the foundation of my writing today :) Main characters are Obi-Wan, Xanatos Du Crion, Qui-Gon Jinn, Bruck Chun and Feemor. Eventually we’ll get to Maul, Savage, Feral, Shmi Skywalker, (more!) Ahsoka, Anakin and a shit ton of clones ❤

things we hunger for (Guardian)

My Ye Zun self-indulgent fic. It’s a time travel amnesia Weilanzun! Honestly has some of my fav writing I’ve ever done. It’s so soft and really indulges in the hurt/comfort. It gives Ye Zun the friends and family I think he deserves. Also, he gets to grow into a (mostly!) functional person and I adore him.

the beast that slumbers within your soul (mdzs)

Jiang Cheng centric fic!! I feel like all my favourite fics I’ve written are love letters haha. This is one def my love letter to Jiang Cheng. This fic possessed me for two whole days. I wrote 16k in almost one sitting. I went to sleep at 6 in the morning bc I couldn’t stop writing. And when I drifted off I kept thinking of new ideas so I’d whip out my phone and write down lines and notes. I- have never ever ever felt that way about anything. It was- insane. It felt insane. It was so amazing. I’m still riding the memory of that high.

 Basically Jiang Cheng actually finds Baoshan Sanren and it turns out she’s a fox demon and Jiang Cheng is descended from wolves. It’s- okay I said the fic above this had my favourite writing?? That was a lie. This has my favourite writing I’ve ever done. It’s unfinished bc I am in dmbj hell but I am still excited about the next chapter which features Wei Wuxian’s pov!!

the whispers of spirits (dmbj)

My current passion project. In a way it kinda feels similar to hurricane? Bc multiple povs, incorporating different aspects of canon (we’ll get there!! I promise!), shit ton of research, etc. etc. I really really really love it for so many reasons. I’m basically taking all the things I was unsatisfied with in Reboot and Sha Hai and running with it. Found family and whump galore! It’s also a love letter to the women of dmbj who really deserve so so so much better.

Honourable mention to:

One Day (you’ll have given more of yourself than is meant to be taken) (Marvel)

This fic also kinda possessed me. I just- couldn’t get rid of the idea of a trans!Thor. And I mean a mtf Thor! It’s just? So many people look at Thor and go “that’s a Real Man.” Full stop. They never think there could be anything more, and it really really really bothered me. So I wrote out my feelings. I’m not trans. I don’t have that experience at all. I’ve had issues and confusion about my gender but nothing like this. I just wanted to do justice to this idea of Thor in my head. And I still feel a bit nervous having posted it. But I've gotten so many comments from people who really connected with what I’ve written? So I’m very very thankful I wrote it and it has a very special place in my heart. It’s a very cathartic fic.

Fic I spent least time on: 

Probably we rise (Star Wars) and I think it shows haha. I wrote it in response to Dave Filoni posting a drawing of Ahsoka and Gandalf telling her “People thought I was dead, too, and look how that turned out...” So I incorporated Ahsoka (and Din and Grogu and Ezra!!!) into the ending of Rise of Skywalker, kinda explaining how I think they could all still be alive. :)

Longest fic: 

hurricane is my longest fic (159k) but I’m kinda worried whispers will eclipse that.....

Shortest fic: 

Of my posted ones it’s The Five Moments it Took Tony and Scott to Admit They Were Best Friends (and the first time they ever did), currently clocks at 1.6k. It’s unfinished tho so maybe that doesn’t count.... otherwise it’s we rise which is completed and 2k.

Most hits/kudos/comments/bookmarks: 

hurricane overall has the most of all these. Though I don’t think hits counts as much bc it’s multi-chapter. If you discount multi-chapter stuff, most hits goes to my obikin smutfic Homecoming, bc people are horny af haha

Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: 

If I had energy I’d like to rewrite the beginning of hurricane bc it feels so so wordy. I’d want to expand on One Day bc I really would like to write a whole series with trans!Thor. And like- I’d really like the focus to finish any of my WIPs.

Share a bit of a WIP: I really wanna share my Guardian/dmbj crossover that I started back in August. Bc I adore the idea of wu xie&shen wei&ye zun triplets! Plus time travel!!! I dunno if I’ll ever finish it tho ( ; A ; ) It just feels like a lot to deal with right now.

This scene takes place during the Mountain Awl arc. Guardian crew and desperado fam run across each other at the village! Wu Xie has recently found out that he’s adopted and he’s searching for answers in the area Sanshu originally found amnesiac!toddler!Wu Xie in :) Gonna pull two snippets bc I’m v excited and this might be the only time anyone else sees this fic haha:

“Oh?” Pangzi focuses on Yunlan now, lips twisting. “You think I’ve ‘got the wrong guy,’ huh?” He laughs, but it’s not a nice sound. “That’s rich! Are you that cocky or are you just stupid?”

Bristling, Yunlan drops his hands and scowls. “Excuse me?”

“Sir,” Shen Wei tries. “I think—”

Pangzi’s eyes snap back to Shen Wei, sharp and blazing. “How dare you fucking steal his face!”

What?

Automatically, Zhao Yunlan turns to Shen Wei, but the professor looks just as shell-shocked as Zhao Yunlan feels which- is seriously something. Since everything about Shen Wei is so carefully controlled, kept to the minimum. Except for those delightful little smiles that bloom across his lovely face, or the startled little bursts of laughter that fall from his lips. Or even when anger and frustration spark across his features, cracking his calm veneer open enough that he can see a glimmer of what lies beneath, the fire in those eyes. Zhao Yunlan delights in those moments, makes a game of making Shen Wei’s control slip.

He tells himself it’s nothing more than a game. Nothing more than trying to find out what makes Shen Wei tick.

Zhao Yunlan’s always been very bad at lying to himself. Or very good. Depending on who you’re asking.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Yunlan splutters.

But before anyone can say anything else, a very familiar voice calls:

“Pangzi? What’s wrong?”

Yunlan can feel Shen Wei stiffen, and Yunlan himself is pulled to that voice like a planet in orbit, like the inevitable plummet to the ground.

Another shadow wavers in the doorway before it steps out onto the dirt. Light illuminates shaggy hair, limning it gold, sharply casting everything else in shadow. But as the figure nears, the contrast softens until Yunlan can see the newcomer’s face properly and- and—

“Wu Xie!” Pangzi growls. “We’ve got ourselves an impostor!”

The man wearing Shen Wei’s face steps up to them, brows furrowed and mouth pulled down into a sharp frown. He glances between them, eyes landing on Shen Wei. His scowl deepens. He opens his mouth, but then—

“Wu Xie?” Shen Wei breathes, all trembly and lost and hopeless.

Heart in his throat, Yunlan turns to Shen Wei again. Turns and flinches at that stricken look upon Shen Wei’s pale pinched face.

“A-Xie?” Shen Wei chokes. “Didi?”

and

Pangzi snorts. “Professor?”

“I-it’s true!”

Startled Yunlan swings his attention over to Jiajia who clenches her backpack to her chest, face screwed up in admirable determination. “P-professor Shen took me and Xiao Quan on a field trip to investigate an archeological site around here!”

“Oh?” Wu Xie drawls all slow and amused. “Well, what a coincidence. We’re archeologists, too.”

“With guns?” Yunlan bites out.

Wu Xie raises a brow, grin full of teeth. “Well, you can never be too prepared.”

“Right,” Yunlan drawls right back. “Are you a professor, too, then? You come here with your students?”

Wu Xie outright grins. “You could say that, I suppose.”

Out of the corner of his eye, one of the men rolls his eyes. He’s the one with sharp features, glasses and looped earbuds. Does he think it’s appropriate to listen to music at a time like this? Yunlan admires the man’s gall.

aahhhh vish thanks so much again for tagging me!! This was so fun to relive my fic memories!! I’m gonna tag @alwaysaslutforshakespeare @jockvillagersonly @tehfanglyfish @lichelleme @undyingsunshine @humanlighthouse  @thewindsofsong I’m curious about your guys’ writing and fandom journey!! As always, no pressure to actually complete this!! I just thought it was fun ❤

Wow if you read all of this I am very humbled and impressed, thank you!!

╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

[fmdjaewonarchive]

hi besties! i’m here with a q3 schedules post that has been a few hours in the making because i’m Stupid and have no braincells so this took a long ass time. below the cut i’ll detail most of what my muses are getting up to both with their groups and sprinkle in some relevant personal bits and pieces as well, personal schedules, character development and what not. this is a plot call for all my muses but yena and minah specifically could use a little more love, just throwing that out there! i also have a bunch of the base prompts still unfilled, might you be looking to do any of those you can find them here! to plot, please like this post, slide into my ims or hmu on d*sc*rd: huang renjun supremacy#5703

jaewon: 

okay first off july is jaewon month, his birthday is the 14th he will insist on being lowkey about it but tbh does that ever work out?

right after his birthday he’s holding his first ever solo concerts, on july 16th & 17th, anyone who is close friends with jaewon is most definitely invited and he will be very happy if they can make it because he’s both very nervous but very proud of it

july also has the dimensions company photoshoot, i’d love to do something there, mae him work with someone he doesn’t like or someone he’s not that familiar with possibly?

jaewon will be in an awful mood tho, just tryna vibe with unity and suddenly dimensions is like SIKE champion comeback BITCH

he will be bitching, he will be grumbling, he will be complaining

not to mention jaewon haaaaates 100, like, he was neutral enough about jopping (eventhough he still thinks ‘jumping and popping’ is STUPID) but 100 he absolutely hates as a song and he will make that everyone’s problem, anyone that spends time with it or even worse he runs into while promoting will not hear the end of it 

he will be a bit placated working on 90′s love but it won’t do much until champion schedules will truly come to an end

yuanjun: 

charm is mainly doing a lot of touring, especially in july/early august so he won’t be around much for that time but after he will return with souvenirs and big stories about his adventures in japan

i might elaborate some more on the charm tour but that will be in a bit, i’ll come back to that at a later time

after that there will be a lot of comeback work for semi;colon

he’s excited for home;run though, living his best theatre kid life

will be annoying everyone at the bc concert, would love to do something there, he will be bouncing all over the place probably

at the end of september charm will be at the hallyu dream concert like a Lot of artists, plenty of opportunity to have meetings there

and throughout the entire thing, all bc artists are workin on the documentary as well and as yuanjun is an annoying little social butterfly he might pop up in unexpected places while people are filming their things?

minah: 

oooooooh boy minah is busythis woman hasn’t had any sleep in god knows how long and that’s not about to change anytime soon

july and a part of august are filled with hurtlocker promotions and lipstick has a super super super busy festival season so if anyone finds themselves at one of those, odds are lipstick is there too

she doesn’t really care much for hurt locker but the reception is good and minah is very happy with that, she’s relieved to see lipstick still makes such a splash as a group

on top of all of that she’s preparing her own first full length album which she’s releasing on the heels of lipstick promotions, preparing for that is stressful, promoting for that is stressful but the album is super dear to her and she will be very proud that it’s out into the world

the bc concert also happens and honestly, she really likes their setlist (minus party) and she’s super excited to perform as lipgloss again, that’s been a while, she’ll be in a good mood there even if she is tired

filming the documentary will be a lot as minah is doing 50 things at once but at least she will be around the company building a Lot working on things

yena: 

gal.actic’s ten year anniversary happens and yena is just like... meh okay? honestly it’s kinda insane to her that gal.actic is still around and its not like she’s necessarily happy about the fact that they are

but hey it happens and gal.actic has some fanmeets which is a lil weird to yena, gal.actic doesn’t do a lot of concerts or fanmeets and it’s always a bit... odd for her to see how many fans they apparently have? 

at least the fanmeets ask very little performing on her part other than 5 songs (which tbh she all doesn’t want to perform with maybe the exception of a, also someone like u is kinda meh but she still doesn’t really care?)

for gal.actic related work the fanmeets will be kinda positive in yena’s book but don’t expect any overwhelming enthusiasm

the rest of the time she will go straaaaight back to complaining about the stupid festival performances, about the stupid comeback they’re preparing for, about stupid dimensions entertainment not just disbanding them already 

will be taking any excuses she can to sneak out of deepened choreo rehearsals, please enable her, or scold her, either one works

luckily her solo career isn’t exactly on a backburner either, she has some modeling going on, some photoshoots, some brand stuff, and if anyone asks how she’s doing or what she’s doing she’s more likely to bring those up than gal.actic

for the dimensions photoshoot the same applies as for jaewon, i’d love to use the opportunity to get her to interact with labelmates she hasn’t worked with at much, unlike jaewon tho she will actually be in a pretty good mood doing it, she loves photoshoots v much!

[the-darklings]

—𝗖𝗢𝗔 𝗙𝗔𝗤;

Hello, everyone! So with COA being such a long-running series and new readers finding it constantly, I have come to realise that a lot of questions I get often repeat. So to keep everything easy and clear and friendly for everyone regardless of whether you started COA at the very beginning of the story or just recently found it, I have spent the day relaxing, eating junk food, and compiling this FAQ. Please read through it because chances are the answers are here somewhere. I have sectioned the guide into following: general, story, ships, original squad (OCs), AUS, OC!V and tips/advice. If the answer to your question is not here, please feel free to send me a message and have a wonderful day! <33 - kat.

GENERAL:

when does this story update?

I try to keep a bi-weekly schedule (now usually Sunday updates). But I always let you know when the chapter is done by making a final word count post (pre edits). 

do you have a masterlist?

yes, you can find it here.

do you have a tag list?

not for COA. they’re very time consuming and I’m already really busy sorry :(

are your requests open?

I rarely open my inbox for requests. the only exception being the monthly blurb nights. then I reblog a prompt list and let people send some requests in for any fandom/ship. however, usually due to how many I get, it only happens every few months. that being said, you can still send me ideas/suggestions and if it inspires me, I will write it. that’s how the majority of the AUs have come about. but i’m also a very busy person so sorry if I can’t. 

can I make X or Y for COA and tag you?

yes. yes. yes. please, please, feel free to create whatever for COA (no matter how small or silly) because I consider it a great honour that I’ve been able to inspire someone else. whatever it is, please tag me. I wanna see.

okay, I made a thing and tagged you but you didn’t respond :(

Tumblr is notorious for eating my notifs. whatever it is (art/post/etc) if I don’t respond to it in a day or two, please give me a nudge. you’re not being annoying, I promise. chances are I missed it/tumblr ate it. 

I wanna scream/discuss/theorise about COA with others, is there any way for me to do that?

my amazing readers have set up this reddit page that is full of lovely people, theories, and memes etc. I check it often and interact on there, too, so feel free to drop by.

STORY:

how many chapters will COA be?

25. the last one being a very long epilogue.

have you decided on the ending yet?

yes. from as early as part 2. it's barely changed since. 

will we ever see more of Prague/Naples? hoe, please say yes.

yes. I plan to write both as COA bonus stories after the main story-line concludes.

will there be a sequel? 

depends. on two things: 1) if anyone will even care by that point 2) time. this story has consumed 5 months of my life entirely. i’ve been incredibly strict with myself when it comes to writing it (in a good way) but at best it won’t be finished till the end of august/beginning of september. so likely even if I do, there will be a break for a few months at least. I do have ideas though.

you promised us smut. where is it?

patience is a virtue. ;)

happy ending or tragedy? (please don’t say tragedy, you monster)

I would describe it more as “bittersweet” but whether it leans more towards bitter or sweet you’ll have to see.   

SHIPS:

any endgame hints?

you know more about the ending than you probably realise

can v/s finally go to Paris? for the love of GOD? pLEASE?

no

hector + v? powerful. will there be more of them in the future? 

agreed & yes. hector and v have their own arc to go on. it’s actually one of my favourites in this story. I don’t want to say more than that right now because I have plans for their dynamic so no spoilers. :)

please stop bullying john. give us some j/v content please? 

i, for one, adore john. it’s team S that’s bullying him lol. but wait till parabellum. i’ve always referred to that portion of the story as the second coming of j/v.

does lucien actually have a thing for v or is it a creepy obsession? 

it’s both.

I ship v with everyone :/ is that bad?

the sky is the limit. ship all the things proudly (but seriously, no, it isn’t. I ship all the ships, too, and that’s the fun of it) 

v/elder tho? 👀

🔫🤡

j/v or s/v? be honest.

you fool,,,, you buffoon. ot3 j/v/s is where it’s really at. imagine their POWER.   

ORIGINAL SQUAD:

what do the Elites/Lovers look like/how old are they?

please refer to this

will there be more step??

of course. he’s my baby. :)

will we see more of camorra/learn more about the elite’s and their backstories?

while I would love to take the time and flesh them all out with full backstories, only hector will be getting his backstory explored in the main canon because plot.

does lucien care for mika anymore or has he replaced her with v?

lucien is a messy hoe. mika is his subject of “affection” but v is his foil and equal. he recognises the same hurt in her that he has gone through himself so it’s more of a fixation. with time, lucien would likely destroy v so no bueno. 

I ship our OCs.

I do, too.

can we write about your OCs/V?

so you would have to come to me and discuss this more in private but I’m fine with this sort of thing usually. in fact, a prequel hector story already exists so you’re likely good but please contact me first. 

AUs:

when/how often do you update the vampire!au?

whenever I have time/inspo. mainly time. so this means you can get it daily or not get it for several weeks because COA is priority. I keep you all updated on when I have something cooking tho.

what is the actual pairing for vamp!au?

undecided as of yet. i’m leaning more towards ot3 right now but we shall see.

how often do you update flowing in me?

same as the above. whenever I have the time but I will keep you updated.

how many parts will flowing in me be?

I have 5 parts(ish) planned.

do you have a tag list for flowing in me?

I will. please leave a comment on the story if you want to be tagged in future parts!

will flowing in me feature other characters (john, winston etc.)?

this story is mainly camorra-centric but I do plan for John to appear at some point.

how did you come up with your lore in vamp!au?

to be completely honest....I just wrote a bunch of stuff down and used what stuck. mostly the ideas were pulled out of thin air while still trying to keep within the spirit of the canon material (the high priest, the holy church, the twelve priests, john being the boogeyman etc). camorra as the natural enemy seemed fitting and santino as a vampire prince even more so.

can we send you new au ideas/expand on old ones (manager!V etc)?

yes, always. I always try my hardest to reply but ofc I can’t promise I’ll be able to use them all but thank you in advance.

OC!V:

who is the face claim for OC!V?

weronika spyrka

what is her real name?

clara

how old is she at the beginning of the story and now?

23 beginning of chapter 1, 30 beginning of chapter 4 (current timeline)

will/would you ever write an original story about her?

I have considered creating something original out of COA itself or one of its sister series/concepts (like FIM). since I really started working on COA during last year’s NaNo, that might be the time I create something original this year. 

TIPS & ADVICE:

how do you write so much, so quickly?

I don’t think that word count is really reflective of the quality work itself. I don’t think you should worry how much you write, either. 100 words can be just as valuable as 1k. most of them time I have a deadline breathing down my neck and I do work well under pressure so that inspires me to force the chapters out. I also do very long days because despite what it might look like I’m not a fast writer.

how can I improve my writing?

read and practice. I know it’s dumb and overused advice but it’s how I learned english and found my style (still a mess and WIP) but still this advice does help. 

how do you keep motivated?

spite, your support, genuine adoration for these characters/word, a lot of spite. 

do you plan? outline?

I have a vague story outline with specific scenes in mind as I go along (helps to set up foreshadowing, twists, and those ‘full circle’ moments). I also plan each chapter scene by scene and know what each chapter is meant to accomplish. So yeah in a sense. 

[werenotacoupleyesyouare]

IT HAPPENED AGAIN I FINISHED ROYAL ASSASSIN BEFORE EVEN MAKING A POST

-I will get into chronological order in a second but first, a rant: FITZ WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK HOW DO YOU THINK THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA OH MY GOD FITZ WHAT IN THE EVERLOVING-

-okay more on that later

- Glad to see no one died between book one and two, everyone is back and sexier than before of course except for Regal who was already the sexiest bitch in Buck keep

- just kidding y’all know that is Burrich

- I love how Robin Hobb decided we had to know that Burrich Fucks, I appreciate that of her

-Fitz is, as always, a complete dumbass. I’m starting to think that this is not just a temporary situation anymore

-Kettricken is really incredible, I may need to jump on the Kettricken simp train (although I’m more of a Patience lady myself I gotta say)

- This isn’t really an update but I keep thinking abiut how Galend used to say “you shall not have any contact with the opposite sex” like he wasn’t the only straight person in BuckKeep (well the only cishet at least except maybe for Shrewd)

Allow me to elaborate: Fitz and Molly? Bi. Hands? Gay. Burrich? Bi and not over his breakup with Chivalry. Patience? Bi and dating Lacey (lesbian). Verity and Kettricken are both trans, there is no way you can convince me otherwise. August is gay and repressed, which is different from Regal who is gay and homophobic. The fool is gender queer. Chivalry was pan. Chade is gay. The two girl classmates of Fitz one who became leader of the skilled kidz and the other who dropped out are dating, they broke up bc Galend’s psychological abuse had messed them up terribly but now they’re back together. (Update now I know more names, selene and justin both raging homos, truly evil stupid wlw/mlm solidariety). Will is gay too.

- OH I DESPERATELY WANT TO SEE BURRICH AND THE FOOL INTERACT I THINK THEY’D GET GET ALONG;; Burrich is friends with most of the young folk in Buckkeep, he’s a mentor to all of them and idk how old the fool is but I know they didn’t have that and they’re lonely as shit. They’re both done with every single person in BuckKeep and they both have at least one braincell, which is apparently extremely rare around here

-I love Fitz’s constant theme of “no one in BuckKeep knew. I was so furtive and secretive. No one could ever guess what I was doing” when he’s visiting either Night Eyes or Molly because I know all the folk in BuckKeep are like “ah shit there he goes again going to see that fucking wolf”

- MOLLY AND FITZ ARE SERIOUSLY SO DRAMATIC HDHENDJDJHFHDHC they gave me my fav scene ever though, where Molly and Fitz are doing their Dramatic Breakup Speech outside of Burrich’s room, while the Fool and Burrich are inside listening w a glass on the door like “shit- shit he’s coming in get away get away- Hello Fitz!”

- drunk fool was chaotic energy at its finest

- Patience and Kettricken keep being the absolute best I swear if Verity doesn’t come back I am marrying his wife myself

- on that note VERITY SIR I THOUGHT AT LEAST YOU HAD THE BRAINCELL,,, OH YES I’LL GO ALONE ON A MYTHICAL QUEST TO LOOK FOR FAIRIES SURELY MY EVIL BROTHER WON’T TRY ANYTHING WHILE I’M GONE ❤️

- ok everyone by now knows that I’m both a huge patience and burrich simp, but I will not believe for a second that they were in love, sorry Patience is in a happy relationship w Lacey and Burrich was always in love with Chivalry, I will not accept any other version of the story ❤️

- and now onto the sad part

- OKAY look I will tolerate any shit a character does, literally they could kill Fitz and I wouldn’t bat an eye but when Regal had the AUDACITY to order his men to hurt the Fool,,,, that was the irredeemable point of no return for me, Fuck regal all my homies hate regal

- I am growing extremely fond of the fool they’re the sweetest character so far I am honestly in love, also they’re smart thank god we needed someone with braincells near Fitz because that boy is a complete dumbass

- also the “Who did this to you.” scene after the fool got beaten up the first time,,,, I sense multishipping times nearing on the horizon

- when I tell you I cried my eyes out during Shrewd’s death,,,,,,,, not bc I care about the guy, pretty annoying as he was, but seeing the fool crying is not something I will ever recover from thanks

- everyone keeps saying that night eyes has the braincell out of him and Fitz but honestly!! That’s not true!! The wolf is a dumbass as well, it’s just that anyone put against Fitz would seem like a genius!!

- Fitz not realizing that Molly’s “the one I care most about” and Burrich’s “female friend who needs a hand” might,,, be related,,,,,,,,, lol

- idk if it’s actually like that but imagine how devastating it would be for Fitz to have his girlfriend stolen by his fucking DAD

or well father figure but still

- the way Fitz talks about Molly tho 💕💕

- The foreshadowing of Kettricken’s child actually being still born,,,,,,,,,,, I pretend I do not see

- The “let him go night eyes, he’s not yours” scene gave me chills tbh

- I’m manifesting some flashbacks of younger Chivalry, Verity, Patience and Burrich,,, I wanna see the dynamics,,,, don’t think I won’t write it myself if there aren’t any

- so yeah I have already started book three because I have no self control, every time Fitz skills out to Molly he gets a different picture of Burrich doing house work, if Fitz keeps this up he’ll be able to bless us all with the Hot Burrich Calendar we all deserve

Ending notes! I thought I would skip the liveship traders trilogy but everyone told me that it’s not a good idea so I’ll read everything in order :)

I am completely obsessed with these books please send help

Tagging some beautiful people @violetiris-ak @garnetrena @wolfofmars