#one minor problem has the capacity to overshadow everything else

[tardis--dreams]

My professor replied. So of course I'm doing the normal thing and instead of reading his email, I have an anxiety attack and cry a little

[spade-riddles]

Submission: Adjusting expectations

Okay, guys. Wading in here where it’s possible no-one wants me, but … here goes. 

We - Kaylors - are in a hard place right now. People feel hurt, they feel hopeless. They feel like they were led on by the likes of Spade. I’m not here to invalidate any of the feelings that come from seeing Karlie and Taylor play out this charade.  

But I think we (collectively, as a fandom) need to take a breath and ask if any of this is really as bad or unfixable as we think it is. Because, for me, the recent stunting is hard to stomach but not truly surprising. On some level this is how I expected Karlie and Taylor to handle both the birth of the baby and the launch of the rerecorded albums. As much I wanted to believe in the idea of spring breaking loose and bringing with it a fervent revolution … I could see the pieces still in play on the board and I doubted it was coming. 

I think the problem is that there was a split between the optimist and pragmatist sides of the fandom, over the last year or so. To be clear - I’m not judging the optimist side of the fandom. Not at all. Taylor has pulled wildcard moves before, and emotions run so high in all this, especially with a baby involved now, that I don’t blame people for wanting to believe the best. But it reached a stage where some of the things people were trying to talk themselves into were just wildly unrealistic. And when that happens, of course you’re going to get hurt. It’s inevitable. 

But let’s really look at this for a second. We should have known that neither Karlie nor Taylor was going to be shaving her beard in March. Ditching Jerk right after or just before the birth would have been too soon for Karlie. It’s not unusual for a celeb marriage to fizzle out within a year of the birth, but before the baby even arrives? That would be weird, and would draw attention just when it seems Kaylor don’t want it. They just had a baby. That’s an adjustment in itself, and Karlie is suffering enough social media hate on top of that. I wouldn’t blame her for just wanting to take a break and lie low during this difficult time. And unfortunately, for Karlie, that means maintaining the status quo of the situation she put herself in with Jerk. She may be doing the bare minimum to maintain it, but if she wants to avoid attention, she has to make it seem like everything between her and her “husband” is normal. And that she’s trying to make it work, which I believe will be important later. Good people try to make it work, even in bad relationships. 

Toe wasn’t going anywhere either. Taylor had relied on him so heavily during the promotion of Folklore, with the William Bowery narrative, that she was almost backed into a corner. She had to give some allusion to his air quotes “creative input” and their so-called happy relationship, or her failure to do so would have become the story and overshadowed her night. The headlines would have either been break-up speculation or complaints that she didn’t give him his due. We think the cutesy coverage after she named him in her acceptance speech was bad, but negative headlines have a far longer shelf life and can take on a life of their own. They would have been worse. Whatever we might think of Taylor’s actions, Folklore is one of her best albums and she deserved to have her night. 

So, on to the announcement of the birth. This is a tricky one, and again, I completely understand why people reacted so badly against it. It was everything we as a fandom said we didn’t want. It was Jerk using the baby for personal good PR. But I have to be honest here. I always thought we were kidding ourselves believing he would NEVER be seen with the baby or implied to be the father. I do believe Karlie is doing her damnedest to minimize the digital footprint of his involvement and keep her actual baby out of it. But he was always going to get to bask in the glow of playing daddy for a while. It’s the trade off Kaylor made when they used him to shore up their closet. 

This is also why I increasingly suspect the timing of the announcement got the green light from Kaylor too. If Jerk was always going to be assumed to be the father of Karlie’s baby, then there was always going to have to be a birth announcement that incorporated him somehow - unless the girls were ready to answer awkward questions, and it doesn’t seem like we’re there yet. So the best way to minimize the damage is to have his moment of glory overshadowed by a bigger win for Taylor. It worked pretty well actually. Even on Kaylor blogs the stunt was mostly buried by Taylor content.

I know a lot of fans feel gaslit by all the hints, but I do think there’s a possibility Taylor really didn’t grasp how hurt Kaylors would be. From her perspective, she “fed” fans three times over that night. She gave us a beautiful performance, a gorgeous red carpet moment, and a win to celebrate. I think it’s possible she really didn’t realize the double whammy of stunting that night would make it all feel worthless for many.

Taylor is in an awkward position. As a consequence of Kaylor retreating into the closet, the support base for them has shrunk. (When I use the words “Kaylor fandom”, I refer to this support base.) I would say Kaylor fandom consists of two parts. There is a silent portion, who observe events and comment anonymously, but don’t say anything “on main”. And then there are the small corps of true believers, who think Karlie and Taylor are still together and the baby is theirs. This latter group do most of the actual talking about Kaylor, but they tend to be pretty battle-hardened. They’ve been around for years, they never believe any of the stunts and their capacity to be hurt by them is, as a result, pretty limited. These Kaylors criticize sometimes, but they tend to fall back in line eventually and mostly adopt a “let’s wait and see how this all shakes out” approach. The problem is that I would say these “chilled” Kaylors are the minority. For their own sanity they curate their blog experience and often don’t post the more negative anons they get. Which is fine, but if you were looking at it from the outside, I could see how it might create an impression that the fandom as a whole can roll with the punches. And for a lot of the silent majority, that’s not the case. 

But again, I can see how Taylor might not necessarily know that. She went quiet after the Grammys, when I might have expected more celebratory posts from her. If I had to guess, I’d say she didn’t expect the backlash. I’m especially noticing a backlash against her for allowing Karlie to take so many hits while her own reputation has never been better. And I can’t defend her on that one, except to say I hope she has a plan. But I understand where people are coming from when they say the songs aren’t enough and actions speak louder than words. It’s tough to watch. 

Still, we’re in a position we should realistically have been able to see coming. We should have known Jerk wasn’t going to be out of the picture immediately after the birth. This is one of those things nobody likes, but maybe we all just have to be patient on. I don’t see Karlie busting out of the closet to admit her marriage was a fake, or testifying to the FBI. I think she’ll just let her marriage quietly fall apart, as many real marriages did during the pandemic. And for that to work, she needs to make it look like didn’t throw away a family unit lightly. Hence the “I tried” post, the social media break, and the suggestions of spending time with Jerk’s family. All of this can be spun later into a narrative of Karlie having tried to make it work, only to never really be accepted. The hate online affected her mental health and she gradually realized how unhappy she’d become and decided she needed to break free and find her old self again for her baby’s sake. This is the most likely narrative for Karlie’s freedom and it’s one that could work - but it’s going to take time to unfold. Personally, I’m giving it a year. If we don’t see a separation by then, and definitive moves to a reunited Kaylor, I’ll be bowing out. I’ll still know what I believe the truth to be, but I won’t see the need to devote my energy to defending it. ,

Meanwhile, the masters rerecords are about to be released, and Taylor has invested a lot in their success. Because of this, I can’t envision her coming out until at least the big three (Fearless, 1989, and Red) have dropped. She might drop hints, but I don’t expect anything earth-shattering. Even the order of the album releases seems to confirm this. She’s breaking out the big guns first. 

I’ve seen people speculate that because Rep can’t be rerecorded until 2022, Taylor will hold off on any coming out until then. And I’m not so sure of that. Yes, people listening to the album for clues would give Scott and Scooter money, but if we’re being honest, a fair amount of people are probably listening to those albums already, regardless of the drama. Those sleazeballs are profiting from Rep, full stop. But if Taylor profits more, from her bigger albums, she still wins. And she can still put out a Taylor’s version of Rep with vault tracks and collabs, to seduce people away from the Big Machine version in early 2022. Honestly, I think there’s a good chance Taylor would consider this is a worthwhile trade-off anyway, if it meant she got to live a more open life with Karlie - and most crucially, begin to repair Karlie’s reputation. As children get older and the world begins to leave the pandemic behind, it becomes harder to live behind closed doors. I guess we’ll find out how Taylor finds the reality of such a life, and what she considers worth sacrificing to step away from it. 

All this to say: I can’t predict the future more than anyone else, but I don’t think the situation we’re in now is irreparable, and if we’re being really objective, I don’t think it’s even surprising. I do think Taylor should give us something, if she wants to keep us around. No-one can live on a complete absence of hope, and as I’ve stated, letting the fandom dwindle to this extent has its own dangers. But I think we also need to keep our time frames realistic, even if it means rejecting lifelines like the Spade riddles. We shouldn’t expect Karlie to be free of Jerk for around a year, and we shouldn’t expect Taylor to do anything much beyond general music promo until at least the big three have dropped. Sucks to say it, I know. But at least this way we won’t be disappointed, and if Kaylor do pull a wild card and move towards freedom, we can be pleasantly surprised. 

Just my two cents. 

___________________

Well written and fair arguments on our reactions and expectations. I had typed up more, but I will let others post their comments before I chime in.

[idontneedasymbol]

@chiisana-sukima

Oh! @idontneedasymbol, I don’t know if it will end up working for you, but I have such a happier textual interpretation of S12 to offer you! I think it’s quite well supported, although we’ll have to wait over time to know for sure. I *love* Dean this season (with the exception that I think all of the characters, including him, are being written somewhat inconsistently and flat), and I think what’s going on isn’t that he’s being written as one-dimensionally violent, but that they’re trying to fix his issues with violence without acknowledging explicitly exactly what those issues are. Which is a complicated endeavor, and so it’s coming out uneven and choppy at times.

(my no doubt overly-copious mounds of thinking on this below the cut)

Keep reading

New post because my stupid, stupid tumblr won’t allow Keep Reading cuts in reblogs! (and I definitely need a cut for this, it got REALLY long (even by our standards ^^;;;;))

I like and agree with most of this reading -- at least subtextually; am not convinced it's deliberate on the part of the writers, but there is an argument for it (in particular I totally agree that Dabb is much more invested in writing them as more standard heroes in regards to killing/violence, rather than Carver's dark, borderline anti-heroes, and I've been a fan of that from the start.)

At the same time, it doesn't address my major issues with Dean's characterization this season. The problem I'm having with s12 Dean is that, while the writing may be exploring his relationship with violence and improving it, at the same time the writers are opting not to show the bulk of good traits the character has always had. (And fair warning, this is a very ungenerous reading of the season. The last ep really got to me; I wasn’t nearly this negative a few eps back, but as the trends I’ve noticed seem to be worsening rather than improving, I’m getting increasingly cranky. Please argue me out of it if you have counter-evidence; I want to be enjoying the show again!)

I don't protest Sam getting the big kills; as pointed out, there's always been an imbalance there, with Dean taking out the majority of the big bads. A lot of this was necessitated by the story. Like you say, Dean's story has always been much more steeped in his complicated relationship with violence, and therefore it was more needed to show that his violence could be heroic; it was always played as a two-edged sword, one of his strengths as well as a weakness. So it makes sense that as his worst issues with violence are reduced, and it's less important to show him being violently heroic, Sam should get more of his share of the kills.

But at the same time they're reducing Dean's heroic kills, they're also reducing all of his other heroic actions as well. He hasn't been given a single scene alone with any innocent victim to bond or show sympathy or offer emotional support.  He has been less involved in researching hunts (e.g. going off to have sex in 12x18 while Sam stays up doing research, apparently not helping with the nephilim hunt in 12x19) and more dismissive of Sam's work (along with a new inability to understand computer searches. Dean has been downright stupid a lot this season, which has never been true of him before; he's got random knowledge gaps and he likes to play the idiot, but this season it feels like he really doesn't understand what Sam is talking about a lot of the time.)

It’s not just Dean; the season (second half especially) seems to have been trying to show the Winchesters as not very good at finding hunts or solving them, apparently to justify them joining the BMOL (since information seems to be all they're getting from them?)  And by and large, both of the Winchesters have been superfluous to the main story this season; it feels like the majority of what has happened in the arcs would have happened with or without them, and even in MotW eps they've managed to save only a single person most of the time (if even that.) But with Sam they’re at least giving him a little -- being a researcher has always been a fundamental part of Sam's character, so they've kept that up nominally, and he’s gotten to be badass. Dean doesn’t have that much going for him; he has no role in their partnership now, when Sam can do everything.

Except damsel in distress, I guess? But damsels are usually the gentle ones, the heart of the team. And along with not getting the kills, and not helping with the research side of hunting, Dean also hasn't been showing much in the way of positive feelings like compassion or empathy.  Emotional vulnerability at times, yeah; but not kindness. That, too, has been left up to Sam.

Dean has been unusually unsolicitous with Sam himself. This, I think, is partly a result of Sam's s12 characterization, which is definitely tilted more toward Big Damn Hero, strong and unneeding of assistance or comfort in the face of torture or monsters or anything else. Dean has not once asked Sam if he's okay this season, even casually after a fight; but neither has anyone else. There has been atypically little light h/c of the sort of the boys getting tossed around and one of them helping the other up, and what there has been has been entirely Sam helping Dean. On the multiple occasions Sam has gotten in trouble, Dean always gets there too late to be of any help, and doesn't show concern when he does arrive. This was at its worst in 12x02, that travesty in which Dean fails to exhibit any concern for Sam whatsoever, even when witnessing him tied up and bleeding (despite vowing to take Toni apart if Sam is hurt in just the previous episode.) At the time I blamed it on Bucklemming, but given later episodes (12x04, 12x14, 12x15) it seems to be the trend, that Dean is not given to showing caring for his brother anymore, either by threatening those who hurt him or worrying over his condition.

(I admit, Dean caring for Sam is my favorite thing in the whole damn show. So the near total lack of it this season, even in minor moments, has stood out to me.) (Meanwhile Sam repeatedly expresses concern for Dean's physical and emotional states. Which I love, don’t get me wrong; but I like it going in both directions? I miss eps like “Mystery Spot”...)

Even with other characters, while Dean can express worry for family/friends (always initially expressed as anger, then walked back to a grudging apology; the Dean who would express worry through humor or supportive gestures or asking to talk is nowhere to be found) his caring is always matched and usually overshadowed by Sam's (except arguably for a couple times with Cas, for the sake of Destiel). And Dean is the one who doesn't understand what Mary's going through, Dean is the one who is mean and petty to Cas, Dean is the one who overreacts to Claire’s decision. Dean's role is to be Goofus to Sam's Gallant, showing, over and over, what not to do.

And yes, they've always had a measure that Dean is the more volatile and emotional one while Sam is calmer and more rational. But it's more extreme now, to the point that Dean can't be calm and rational EVER -- while Sam only gets emotional for brief moments and then calms, without it ever clouding his judgment or decisions.

That Dean has had no time with the innocents this season really bothers me too, because it’s always been one place the show has been quite even -- Sam & Dean have different ways of dealing with the victims of monsters, but they're both effective.

Reading over your analysis of Dean and violence, I wonder if this is all related -- that because the show is softening him in terms of violence, it sees less need to show his caring side otherwise, which has always existed in contrast to his capacity for cruelty. Or even that to preserve his nominal 'tough guy' appearance, when he's not as violent, he has to be harder in other areas.

I really hope that's not the case. I really hope the kind Dean, the Dean who tried to comfort Michelle at the end of "Red Meat" and told Sam he wasn't leaving him in “Don’t Call Me Shurley”, who managed to save the universe by empathizing with Amara, isn't gone for good.

(Even in "Regarding Dean," Dean is sweet and cute, but he's not especially kind. And while I do love that ep, it's probably my favorite of the season, I hated how at the end, once Dean's back to 'himself,' he teases Sam, and there's no sense that he realizes that Sam was genuinely hurting. That's mostly in the editing, they could've easily played it as teasing but also sympathetic. But they don't; he's just a smug jackass. Likewise in "Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell" Dean's fussing over Baby would've been fine if there had been any hint that he was actually concerned about Sam or the innocent and blustering over it with his worry about the car -- like way back in the pilot, asking if Sam was okay, then covering his concern by saying that he'd kill him for damaging the car.)

It's touches like that I'm missing. And as you say, the characterization has been flat this season, and these are some of the details that are getting flattened out. I am hoping that’s all it is, and not that they’ve just decided Dean’s not like that anymore.

And I do hope you're right about the season's general arc. The decrease in violence, especially from the boys and between the boys, was one of the things I most enjoyed about s11, and one of the things I am glad about s12. (I admit I was a little concerned about that -- Dabb wrote one of the worst moments of domestic violence in the show, in that it was played as no big deal, in Dean punching Sam in "Girl Next Door" -- but that hasn't come up; Dean’s being written as a jerk, but at least not an abusive one.) If that is a deliberate choice, it’s one thing to celebrate!