#one day. one day i will return to writing for fandoms other than tolkien

[starsuncounted]

@tortoisesshells tagged me–thank you!

Make a 24h poll with the names of your wips, let it run its course, and then write a sentence for every vote the winner receives.

Tagging @dreamingthroughthenoise @theghostinthemargins/@thelordofgifs @searchingforserendipity25 @thescrapwitch if you'd like to do this!

[glorfindel-of-imladris]

The Case of Erestor Half-elven

It’s been a hot minute since my last fandom meta, but this one I accidentally stumbled upon gathering notes for—would you believe it—a Glorfindel meta I intended to write. Man, I’m not even going to question the process, so let’s just get right on to it!

I like to joke around that there are only six instances when Erestor was mentioned in the entire legendarium, and by this I mean in The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, and The Silmarillion (in which he does not even appear in the latter two). 

But let’s talk about the early draft of him that is often referenced in fandom. If one extends the search, in The Return of Shadow, which details the writing process of what ultimately would be The Fellowship of the Ring, Erestor does get a mention, and is described as follows:

“There were three counsellors of Elrond’s own household: Erestor his kinsman (a man of the same half-elvish folk known as the children of Lúthien), and beside him two elflords of Rivendell.” -- In the House of Elrond, The Return of Shadow 

By the final version of The Lord of the Rings, however, there is no more reference to Erestor as Half-elven. The final published version goes:

"Beside Glorfindel there were several other counsellors of Elrond's household, of whom Erestor was the chief..." -- The Council of Elrond, The Fellowship of the Ring

By this final version of the story, the Half-elven trait no longer made sense for Erestor, and was replaced instead by him being Elrond's chief counsellor. 

The nature of Half-elves

Tolkien acknowledges three unions of Elves and Men:

“There were three unions of the Eldar and the Edain: Lúthien and Beren; Idril and Tuor; Arwen and Aragorn. By the last the long-sundered branches of the Half-elven were reunited and their line was restored.” –Appendix A, Return of the King

One of the later themes Tolkien came up with surrounding the Half-elven line (which likely did not yet exist at the early stages of the story when he was first forming the fellowship) was how they united and reunited all the houses of the Eldar and the Edain. Beren was a descendant of the three houses of the Edain—the Houses of Bëor, Haleth, and Hador—while Lúthien was the daughter of a Sinda (Teleri) and a Maia. Idril was the daughter of a Ñoldo and a Vanya. Lúthien and Beren had Dior, who then had a daughter, Elwing, who wed Eärendil, the son of Idril and Tuor. Elwing and Eärendil then had Elros and Elrond, and the line was separated for many generations when Elros chose to be counted among Men, and Elrond among Elves. The two lines were reunited with the marriage of Aragorn and Arwen.

One important detail here is that before the “Choice of the Half-elves” that was later gifted to Eärendil, Elwing, and their children, the children born out of an Elf-Man union led lives akin to Men. Dior was able to rule Doriath at age 33, and Eärendil and Elwing married at 22. These, as we know, would have been too young for Elves, given:

“Children of Men might reach their full height while Eldar of the same age were still in the body like to mortals of no more than seven years. Not until their fiftieth year did the Eldar attain the stature and shape in which their lives would afterwards endure, and for some a hundred years would pass before they were full-grown.” -- Laws and Customs of the Eldar, Morgoth’s Ring

and

“The Eldar wedded for the most part in their youth and soon after their fiftieth year […] Those who would afterwards become wedded might choose one another early in youth, even as children (and indeed this happened often in days of peace); but unless they desired soon to be married and were of fitting age, the betrothal awaited the judgment of the parents of either party.” -- Laws and Customs of the Eldar, Morgoth’s Ring

After the events of the War of the Wrath, Eärendil, Elwing, and their sons Elrond and Elros, for their deeds in the war, were gifted with the choice to be counted either among the Eldar or the Edain. Eärendil, Elwing, and Elrond chose to be counted among Elves, and the choice continued on to Elrond’s children: Arwen, Elladan, and Elrohir. Elros chose to be counted among Men, but in his case, the choice no longer extended to his descendants; every descendant of Elros was mortal. 

The only thing I can conclude for why Elros’ line did not get to choose is because the Gift of Ilúvatar—that is, a death that transcends the world of Arda—trumps all other gifts. It is a blessing that followed the line of Elros—never mind that the latter Númenóreans did not all agree that this was a blessing at all.

A similar sentiment can be found in earlier versions of the Quenta Silmarillion, where Manwë said to Eärendil:

"Now all those who have the blood of mortal Men, in whatever part, great or small, are mortal, unless other doom be granted to them; but in this matter the power of doom is given to me." -- Quenta Silmarillion, The Lost Road and Other Writings

Although this was no longer included in the published Silmarillion, Christopher Tolkien still considered this in judging that Dior, son of Beren and Lúthien, would have been mortal, regardless of whether Lúthien was Elf or mortal when she begetted him.

Bonus extra: The fourth case of Elf-Man union

Despite the excerpt from Appendix A, there is another case of Elf-Man union that we know: Mithrellas and Imrazôr. This was alluded to in Return of the King when describing Prince Imrahil: 

“...and with him went the Prince of Dol Amroth in his shining mail. For he and his knights still held themselves like lords in whom the race of Númenor ran true. Men that saw them whispered saying: ‘Belike the old tales speak well; there is Elvish blood in the veins of that folk, for the people of Nimrodel dwelt in that land once long ago.’” The Siege of Gondor, Return of the King

Although it seems as though this was only a rumor among Men, in the wider History of Middle-earth, Mithrellas is indeed mentioned to have been the spouse of Imrazôr who bore him children, of whom Galador was the ancestor of the princes of Dol Amroth. Of their line, it was said:

“But though Mithrellas was of the lesser silvan race (and not of the High Elves or the Grey) it was ever held that the house and kin of the Lords of Dol Amroth were noble by blood, as they were fair of face and mind.” The Heirs of Elendil, The Peoples of Middle-earth

The princes of Dol Amroth, of course, are mortal, and this does not contradict anything that has already been established. It is easy to imagine how, in a world where Elves and Men co-exist, there could be many other undocumented cases throughout the years. But what we do know is that no other Half-elf outside of Eärendil’s line would have led a long life by choosing the path of Elves. Therefore, if there were any other Half-elves in the Council of Elrond, aside from Elrond himself, they would have been not much older than Aragorn or Boromir. 

Erestor’s age and role in Rivendell

We now return to Erestor. One of the clearest things in “The Council of Elrond” is the Elves’ reluctance to take the One Ring. Erestor is one of the most vocal about this, and this is one of my favorite themes to explore about his character in the Third Age.

Thematically, Erestor represents the fading of the Elves. He is most known for his quick suggestion to give the Ring to Tom Bombadil. This tells us:

The Elves do not want anything to do with the Ring anymore, a sentiment that would be especially potent for one who was there during the Last Alliance, in the Second Age when Sauron was at the peak of his power; and 

The time of the Elves is ending, and there is little more they can give to Middle-earth.

Granted, Legolas remained a member of the Fellowship and thus represented the Elves, but by Elven standards, Legolas was young, and did not have the weariness that someone older would have. Erestor reads to me as someone older, even older in spirit in comparison to Glorfindel. 

‘We know not for certain,’ answered Elrond sadly. ‘Some hope that the Three Rings, which Sauron has never touched, would then become free, and their rulers might heal the hurts of the world that he has wrought. But maybe when the One has gone, the Three will fail, and many fair things will fade and be forgotten. That is my belief.’ ‘Yet all the Elves are willing to endure this chance,’ said Glorfindel, ‘if by it the power of Sauron may be broken, and the fear of his dominion be taken away for ever.’ ‘Thus we return once more to the destroying of the Ring,’ said Erestor, ‘and yet we come no nearer. What strength have we for the finding of the fire in which it was made? That is the path of despair. Of folly, I would say, if the long wisdom of Elrond did not forbid me.’ -- The Council of Elrond, The Fellowship of the Ring

Erestor has a weariness to him that is even notable especially beside Glorfindel's vitality, whom we know was reborn in Aman as though young again, with "the primitive innocence and grace of the Eldar" (Peoples of Middle-earth). Glorfindel, however, is a special case even among all Elves in the Third Age, while Erestor arguably would have been more representative of them, at least of the ones that remained in Middle-earth.

Another case to be made about Erestor being one of the oldest in Rivendell is by virtue of his status as chief among Elrond’s counsellors. Considering the population of Elves in Rivendell, this is no small feat. As Gandalf told Frodo:

‘Here in Rivendell there live still some of [Sauron’s] chief foes: the Elven-wise, lords of the Eldar from beyond the furthest seas. They do not fear the Ringwraiths, for those who have dwelt in the Blessed Realm live at once in both worlds, and against both the Seen and the Unseen they have great power. [...] Indeed there is power in Rivendell to withstand the might of Mordor, for a while: and elsewhere other powers still dwell.’ -- Many Meetings, The Fellowship of the Ring

So what is he?

The last quote about the Elf-lords of Rivendell is one of the main reasons why I say Erestor is likely of the Ñoldorin Calaquendi. This makes the most sense given his position in Elrond’s household and given the sorts of Elves that dwell there. Fortunately, this still gives us many options: he could be an Elf from Gondolin, from Nargothrond, even among one of the many houses of the Fëanoryn. 

Could he have been any other kind of Elf? Sure! I even particularly have a soft spot for Erestor being Sindarin, but again, given his position, I would guess one of the older lines. Doriath, in particular, would make sense. Given how Elves seem to be “ranked” by wisdom defined by their exposure to the Valar and the rest of the Ainur, Doriath, with Melian’s influence, would have been a special kind of place. 

Could Erestor still be Half-elven? My easiest answer would be that it’s unlikely. But! Do not despair! With fiction, really anything is possible. Erestor could be an exceptional Half-elf and that is why he is chief counsellor. He could still be a kindred of Elrond’s by some obscure line, such as an unrecorded child in the line of Beren and Lúthien, or as a popular fanon, either Eluréd or Elurín survived. Or he could just be the son of some other Elf and Man. But whatever version it is, Erestor Half-elven would not have had the choice of the Half-elves, and so likely would not have been alive beyond the lifetime of a Númenórean.

[bad4amficideas]

Fallen in Middle... Sea?

Okay, I just had a dream (that someone would please come and steal and write). Case in point 1. Persona falls into Middle Earth is one of my favorite tropes when people get all technical and discuss differences and such. 2. I just saw the Rings of Power. So, here we go with a bad written prompts of mine (fell free to use it) It's female coded because it's actually all a dream I had.

Reader may or may not be more or less a Tolkien fan, but between one thing and another she knows more or less what Sillmarion, the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings are about (a lot of Wikipedia may or may not have helped because who doesn't end reading whole fandom wikis instead of being productive?).

But what does Reader know about the TV series "The Rings of Power"? Which is a series PENDING TO BE RELEASED in a few days. Galadriel comes out, Sauron comes out and a lot of OCs come out. Is written in the 2nd Age, about which hardly a thing is known. And people is already complaining because that and people of color or something like that. Reader gives two shits about it.

Soooooo The curtain opens.

Reader wakes up (not to mention almost drowns) in the open sea, nothing in sight. She is rescued by a bunch of people and all wears medieval clothes and speaks an unknown language. And they itch her clothes. What's so strange about her clothes!!? (they should be grateful that you're wearing long pants!!)

In any case, after a time at sea where only a couple of people try to communicate with her (Not to be ill-considered, but Reader believes that she already knows the word prostitute, whore or equivalent in the language of these people although what she has been taught does not include that word) something hits the ship and smashes it to pieces. Which leads them to wander aimlessly for two days or so. They will all be wet and hungry but the atmosphere is all hot and smoky!

In the wreckage of the ship you rescue someone who introduces herself as Galadriel. Cue your world going crazy because WAIT, this IS Middle Earth? (I mean, you had had clues because of how people blasphemes and blesses, but denial is a powerful weapon) What is Galadriel doing in the middle of the sea, with such a hidden bad character btw? (THAT IS NOT IN ANY BOOK!!!) And well, from here the story begins. Only you, a dude called Halbrand (appropriately one of the few interested parties who was nice to you) and Galadriel survive the next attack at sea. You are rescued by hotty Elendil, etc.

Thus Reader becomes friends with these two sharing the "culture" of their "country" (world) and their eclectic knowledge. It may or may not be that Reader supports that Halbrand wants to spend the hell out of his "inheritance" (because long live democracy and things should be voluntary for people prepared for it and feeling it, although Reader admits that Halbrand is super smart -suspiciously even for a HUMAN commoner).

Also both (Halbrand and you) of you are considering making a place for yourself in Numenor (well, more him than you, Reader is thinking that if Galadriel is not an option, she doesn't know who to ask about her situation, since you never know where Gandalf is. Some other Istar, maybe?) but in the meantime you learn from their healers and try to adapt to the somewhat misogynistic culture (Why is everyone surprised that she is NOT married with children back her home, goddammit!) and wears long dresses everywhere -also PADS send help!!!- and you may be developing a crush (reciprocate, is he courting you?? Wow, how strange this world is!!) on Halbrand but rather die than hook up with a future king (first is to try to return home, if that is not possible, try to live a peaceful -no obligations- life, perhaps among the hobbits)

[Reader is a fan, but not a hardcore fan, she's not aware of certain things, in fact, she's still wondering when Gandalf and Mordor is going to appear, like, isn't it supposed to be IN the Southlands? Shouldn't she stop Halbrand or more like Galadriel to push Halbrand from going?)]

In my dream Reader calls herself a healer because is the closest thing in Middle-earth to her job (you can think whatever you want) and because of her knowledge she accompanies and helps Halbrand and Galadriel to the Southern Lands and later to the Elf Kingdom (making the trip not have to be so drastic and hasty).

Galadriel also mentions that "the three of us have met for some purpose" Because anyone can see that Reader is almost as out of place in Middle Earth as "The Istar" was upon his arrival (It doesn't help that Reader doesn't take off her sneakers/sport shoes/boots even by begging... I suspect she sudenly cares lot about her bra now). Some people call her behind her back "The Naive Wise One" because she knows and teach so much but at the same time she doesn't know.

[eunoiaastralwings]

Hello :')!! So glad your requests are open again!! Last time I requested a Mae fic (My little light <3) and it was so soft and lovely ❤️

Could I be selfish and ask for a papa maedhros w/ human!reader? Him being a dad to his lil elflings during his time in ME? ❤️ Just need parent!Mae content so BAD!

If not, headcanons of him being a parent is just fine too :')) would love to read either of them by your hand❤️🤲

Thank u!!!

The Best Healers

-ˋˏ ༻❁ characters maedhros x human!wife!reader -ˋˏ ༻❁ fandom tolkien- the silmarillion -ˋˏ ༻❁ a/n oh hun! you are making me melt! you have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that! i had so much fun writing this! sorry for taking some time, i hope you like it and it was worth the wait. love you lots

You entered as soon as his meeting with his brothers finished. You knew your husband too well – the pain, regret and ambition he carried.

Maedhros couldn’t change anything any no matter how much he wished too. The scars and torment he suffered spoke volumes for it. Slowly you around the table to his sitting form at the end – his head in his hands as he let out a deep sight.

Even when he was sitting down – he was still incredibly taller than you. You laid a hand his shoulder and Maedhros tensed for just a second before he relaxed under your touch. Both of you stayed in silence until he was ready to talk – then he lifted his head to you and gave a small smile.

Which you returned and kissed his lips tenderly.

He smiled into the tender moment – then cupped your face in his large hands as you pulled away from it – you ignored the coldness of the metal and it was something you had gotten used to.

“Where are they?”

He asked – referring to your children, your twins – one boy and surprisingly a girl too, whom you both named after Nerdanel.

“Outside, my dearest – but if you are feeling too tired they will understand.”

You said as you caressed his face.

“No, melda – I promised them. I miss them and I want to spend the time I promised with them. I do not want them to hate me.”

Maedhros frowned – the very thought of it made the ner crumble and his heart clench in agony.

“Oh, my love. . .”

You stood and hugged him as much as you could. It was one of his greatest fears, that his own children would hate him – because he certainly hated himself. He hated who had to become for this father in front of you and the children you shared.

“They do not and will not hate, you – you are their hero.”

You chuckled quietly– remembering just how many times your son that declared Maedhros was the strongest of them all, leaving his uncle who was called the strong Finwë a little sad and jealous.

“They love and admire you, even if you do not. You fret once our children would be too afraid to look at you but look at how eager and happy, they are whenever they see you.”

You said when you referred to his scars and the hand he missed – but your children loved him besides those, sometimes you deemed the were smarter than you speaking words as if they understood the world more than you did – which frightened yourself and Maedhros and little bit. They said about scars define the person and mark what they have been through – even as far as your daughter declaring her father was the bravest under all of Eru’s creations.

“You know this, my dear husband. . .”

You cooed.

“You’re not your father. . .”

You whispered gently and Maedhros shut his eyes closed. Maedhros had looked up to Fëanor like his children were looking up to him – but he was afraid one day he would turn into a version of this father and care something else other than the two precious children you made.

“What if I will be?”

Your heart broke as his voice cracked.

“You will not. . .come let our twins heal you, my love. They have magic even the greatest of healers don’t possess.”

You smiled encouragingly and tried to pull him up. Maedhros looked at your strangely for a moment before he sighed and got up. He allowed you to lead outside into the warm summer of his lands – towards the beautiful (and safe) green fields.

Your children sat on the picnic blanket like you let them – only this time your son did try and sneak a peek into a picnic basket you made and your daughter was scolding him for.

“Don’t do it!”

You could hear your daughter yell at her brother.

“Oh relax, just a small bit.”

He replied – you peeked up at your husband and noticed the amusing smile on him – making you spread your own smile as you approached them.

“And just what do you think you’re doing there, son?

Your husband spoke first adverting both your children’s attention to him.

As your twins saw their father their eyes beamed brightly and a huge grin spread across their face.

“Atya!”

They cheered and made their way other to Maedhros as fast as their little legs can take them. Both crashed into their father’s legs – hugging and clinging onto him as tightly as the possibly could with their arms and legs.

Maedhros only laughed and easily picked up the both of them to either side of him – both of them squealing in laughter at the height they were picked up to.

You smiled as relief filled seeing how much your husband smiled and laughed with them – it was a huge different from how he cried into your arms at night fearing everything around him for your twins he could push those fears down and let them enjoy their youth like he did – back when he was in Valinor.

He promised himself he would make sure to give them the best childhood despite what lurked on the horizon.

Your children started to tell Maedhros about their day, from the moment they woke up to now – and your husband listened carefully, giving his replies and reactions to each detail.

“It an alright day – but we missed you!”

Your son concluded and wrapped his chubby fingers around Maedhros’ neck and kissed his cheek. Your daughter did too kissing his other cheek – then both went on to bicker about who gave the biggest kiss.

You only laughed and shook your head.

“I think your Ammë is feeling a little jealous she isn’t getting the attention I am. Maybe you two should”

Maedhros whispered to his twins to make them stop bickering and your shot an eyebrow at him with a smirk as he purposely made it loud enough for your human ears to pick up.

“Yes, ammë!”

Your twins cheered – holding their arms out to you with grabby hands. They weren’t going to let go of Maedhros anytime soon but they were will still willing to give a kiss or two, only condition was they still got to be in their father’s arms.

You laughed and stepped closer – leaning your cheeks into for the both of them to kiss.

But your husband also took the opportunity to peak your lips, making the both of you laugh as your children delivered disapproving noises and gagging sounds.

Then – you moved to sit on the blanket, the twins placed on Maedhros’ legs as you opened the picnic basket to pull the out the food.

You didn’t miss your son’s excitedness to see the food. Maedhros once told you he was exactly like Celegorm he was just an elfling, his tummy never filled and it seen that was the same case for your son.

Always at night when you would try to put him to bed, he never fails to ask you the question of ‘what’s for breakfast tomorrow?’

Your daughter instantly toppled off her father’s lap to grab their favorite book – before climbing on him again, begging him to read. Your son distracted from what you were doing for a second to beg with his twin sister.

Maedhros had smiled and nodded taking the book and wrapping his arms around the both of them – the twins had found their father’s metal quite ‘cool’ as the said it and they had been arguing over who gets to have that arm to wrap around them, despite the fact it was a little cold.

Eventually Maedhros suggested the idea of tossing a coin and whoever wins gets the arm – then the next time they would swap other. So they agreed and surprising no arguments had risen after that – except the occasional whine or two.

You watched as he read to them – changing his voice for every character making them erupt in laughter.

Your eyes somewhat teared up as your prepared the food.

Despite all that happened and was happened, Maedhros made sure to be a good and better father – little did he know he was already the best and the twins loved him, for him. . .

They made sure the old Maitimo was still there. . .living. . .

Taglist form

taras taglist: @fizzyxcustard @a-contemplation-upon-flowers @wandererindreams @aeonianarchives @mismaeve @spidergirla5 @ranhanabi777 @asianbutnotjapanese

[child-of-hurin]

Fic author interview meme - tagged by @anghraine!

Apologies if you've already done this and I missed it, but tagging @squirrelwrangler @undercat-overdog @chthonic-cassandra @hoeratius @outofangband @seagodofmagic and everyone else who sees this and feels like doing it :)

1- How many works do you have on AO3?

58, more than I thought

2- What's your total AO3 word count?

146,888

3- What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Surrender, 615 words, The Mirror Visitor, 149 kudos 2. Locked, forgotten, 1,6k words, ASOIAF , 91 kudos 3. With imperious hand, Fate turns the wheel,  8,8k words, Queen’s Thief, 85 kudos 4. Simple fix, 2,8k words, Supernatural, 77 kudos 5. Tied: Cupid and Psyche, 742 words, Queen’s Thief, 66 kudos A flower trampled underfoot, 1,9k words, Silmarillion, 66 kudos

I have a couple of anonymous/orphaned works that I can recall that have way more than any of this: one Azula/Zuko that has over 350 kudos and a Wincest fic that’s currently on 289! They’re both pure E-rated kink, so I think it figures hahaah.

4- Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to, but sometimes I get a little stumped between a desire to respond in depth vs the conscience that ao3 comments are not really the place for fandom conversation…

5- What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

IMO, either my most recent Vinland Saga fic “Ordeal,” or my first posted fic ever, “Barren”, about Míriel and Pharazôn.

6- What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I’m thinking it’s probably “Washed Ashore”, a short fic that ends with Gil-Galad telling Círdan that Ëarendil is alive and returned with an army in tow.

7- Do you write crossovers?

no

8- Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I know I did but it was in an orphaned work and I can’t recall which, or what fandom it was for? But I think that’s why I switched to just publishing anonymously instead of orphaning it altogether, so I can still delete comments and stuff. Haven't had to, though.

9- Do you write smut?

Occasionally :) 

10- Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No

11- Have you ever had a fic translated?

I THINK so, because I remember someone asking me about it, but I can’t recall which fic or what language…

12- Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I wanna do that with Kate!!! Maybe one day

13- What's your all-time favorite ship?

The ship I’ve written the most for on ao3 is Irene/Gen from Queen’s Thief, and it’s definitely one of my top favorites!

14- What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I don’t usually post fics unless they’re finished or very close to. So the answer is something in my fic folder tentatively called "A Mirror, Cracking", which is an AU of Niënor in Brethil, if she remembered who she was! I'm suuuper fond of it and likely never finishing it, I plan to post it unfinished at some point, amnesty-style.

15- What are your writing strengths?

I think I’m good at creating a dramatic scene! Or let’s put it this way: it’s what I enjoy the most when I write

16- What are your writing weaknesses?

I’d like to write longer, more committed stuff sometimes, but I find it very hard! I also think my prose is very commonplace, but it doesn't actually bother me.

17- What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I avoid doing that at all costs. I either put a descriptive indicating they’re speaking another language, or I say the POV character can’t make it out. I don’t think it’s tacky and I don’t judge it in writing, I just don’t like doing it myself.

18- What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Tolkien <3

19- What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

My dream is to write a Mediana/Ophélie fic for The Mirror Visitor, simply I think this ship is insanely hot and there was just one meager 155 word ficlet for it last time I checked! I have some notes for a fic but lost steam; maybe reading the English translation of those books will do the trick.

20- What's your favorite fic you've written?

I’m super fond of “A haunting”, one of my fics with the least amount of kudos... which I understand, because it really is one of those “I wrote this for myself but you can read it if you want to” cases—in terms of themes, characterization, style and format, corny quote at the beginning, etc, super indulgent. I really just had a lot of fun with it and it still touches me whenever I reread it, and I think the language and characterization are pretty solid! I like it a lot and I'm super proud of it :)

[the-red-butterfly]

Ten Questions for Writers

I was tagged @cilil on my other blog @featheredmoonwings by but I'm answering here hehe. Thanks! I love these sort of games. Dunno if I've answered something like this before? 🤔

Q1. how many works do you have on ao3?

98! But like, I have a lot more on FanFiction 😂 old works that, while I'm not deleting, I didn't want to pass on to my AO3 account when I opened it. I was 14-15 years when I wrote a lot of those hehe.

Q2. what's your total ao3 word count?

443,625 that's quite a lot of words I have to say 👁 Though admittedly about 100K of those all belong to the same Star Wars series 🤭

Q3. what fandoms do you write for?

SO MANY. Currently I'm mostly writing for Star Wars, Batman comics and Tolkien stuff. But I know no bounds, there use to be a time were my list of fandoms in A03 was just long ad all of them just had a 1 beside. Like, I was really putting my fingers on all the pies hehe. I'm a bit more focused now. But I'm pretty sure I'll be exploding (and returning) into Merlin stories pretty soon.

Q4. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

Oh yes! Almost all of them. I love chatting with people and discus what the thought and such. I usually don't reply to emojis cause I'm not sure what to say? Or things that are very short, that again, might not need more than a thank you in response. I do appreciate those all the same ❤️

Q5. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know 👁

Q6. have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Oh yes! It was really fun. It's an Avenger's one-shot, I wrote it with @slightly-crimson-tornado about Thor, Tony, Natasha and Peter Parker. Bit angsty and slice of life. This is it The Familiar Face Of A Stranger

Q7. what's your all-time favorite ship?

Okay so... I don't really write ships? Like, it's not the main thing I do. I do have a couple of ships that I've sometimes written about, but it's never ABOUT the ship.

SO, because of that, I'm going to take this as, what's my all time favourite platonic ship ✨ as in what is my favourite friendship. I've written the most about Joey Wilson and Dick Grayson, and yes, they are the light of my life, even if I don't write them as much these days. (And surprisingly Thor & Natasha are a close second, unexplored dynamics my beloved.)

But if I had to answer with a ship, I'd probably say Obitine (Satine x Obi-wan) 😂 I literally can't get enough of them.

Q8. what are your writing strengths?

I think character dynamics? I just GO when I have to people talking and exploring their thoughts and feelings on situations and each other. Vibes too, just a whole bunch of words that evokes vibes™️ And perhaps flowery writing, when I'm not abusing it.

Q9. what are your writing weaknesses?

Flowery writing, i over use it and I don't know how to stop, and then it's all too much and ends up sounding pretensions. And I guess romance? Not necessarily because I' couldn't bad at it but I don't tend to write it so it might be a bit awkward when I do.

I'm sure i have other glaringly obvious weakness but I can't think of them now 😂 or don't notice them.

Q10. first fandom you wrote for?

INAZUMA ELEVEN. Soccer anime babyyyyy. And I used to write so much for it too. It lives close to my heart but I don't know if I'd ever write for it again.

That was fun! No pressure tag if anyone wants to join in: @slightly-crimson-tornado @fericita-s @bad-at-names-and-faces @fishing4stars @arlenianchronicles @ibrithir-was-here @byrambles

[themoonlily]

As we all know, there is a crowd in Tolkien fandom that criticises ROP for "being woke", the basis of their argument being the few black characters added to the show. Which is of course laughable. 

But I would argue that the black actors (who are mostly playing original characters and at this point it’s hard to see what meaningful impact they could possibly have on the story) is actually a guise for Amazon to try and hide the fact that the show's take is not particularly progressive. (Being less progressive than a catholic, white, English man who was born in Victorian times is quite an achievement.)

Why do I think this? The answer is Celebrimbor and Galadriel, and how their stories are handled in the show. 

In canon, Celebrimbor is a member of an immortal race which is consistently described as ageless, beautiful and graceful. Fandom portrayals of the Elves are often androgynous. Celebrimbor’s story as a great Elven smith, and his collaboration with Sauron which leads to the creation of the rings of power, is a key event in the Second Age. It's seen as a kind of seduction. In the fandom, the relationship between Celebrimbor and Sauron is widely regarded as queer. What has the show done? Firstly, they made Celebrimbor unshippable. He seems like a grumpy granddad, not the ethereal androgynous type that fandom of these days would lap up in a heartbeat. A common complaint about the show is that none of the Elven characters seem Elvish, but even then, Celebrimbor's physical age is glaring compared to others. Secondly, Celebrimbor's story of seduction has been pushed on Galadriel, the one character who consistently recognises evil even in disguise. She's the one Sauron actively manipulates and uses to his advantage, and the relationship is even coded as “romantic”, baiting the audience with the idea of Sauron and Galadriel as a couple. Thirdly, the creation of the rings of power, and Celebrimbor's involvement with Sauron, is handled quickly and flippantly, bringing their interactions to a bare minimum -- even though the rings were a culmination of a long collaboration. It's as if Amazon was determined to make sure in every way that nobody would even think of shipping Celebrimbor with Sauron. In fact, most if not all male characters in ROP are written or portrayed in a way that makes shipping them together improbable, while in book/film fandom m/m relationships are widely popular.  Then there is Galadriel. The show has made her into a girlboss with a sword, allegedly enhancing her story and making her more empowering (though I wonder if it’s in some part about Amazon believing that the story of a woman who is wife and mother is not appealing to male audiences). In canon, Galariel has a great deal of agency, power and influence. She's a leader in her own right and is the sole author of her goals and ambitions. She's also a mother and a wife, but these traditional roles are shown as being just a part of who she is -- granting her independence and agency that wives and mothers don't often get in fiction, especially in the time Tolkien was writing the story. ROP!Galadriel is the complete opposite. All her goals are ultimately about men (her brother or Sauron) and she leads a sad lonely life without dignity or influence which in canon she so clearly wielded even as a young woman. Her fixation with avenging Finrod makes little sense, given the fact he’s alive and happy in Valinor. Even her hunger for power, and her ultimate rejection of it in FOTR, is now attributed to Sauron. Her wisdom, insight, power, influence and standing have been erased and instead we're left with an angry and impulsive child. My guess for how Galadriel’s story will unfold is that Celeborn will return at some point, he will “sort out” this woman who is out of control without male supervision, and her arc will culminate in having Celebrían. Doubtless the show will frame this as some kind of "fulfilment" that will fix all her problems - repeating the very old, very tired trope of a woman reaching her true purpose through motherhood. 

In other words, ROP is not "woke". It's not progressive in adding black characters or new female characters in the periphery of the show: these are just feints Amazon uses to misdirect the audience and disguise what it actually did to the story and two beloved, central characters. It erased what could and probably would be seen as a queer relationship between two men and reduced the story of an incredible and complex woman into a misogynistic joke.  If you scratch the surface, the truth reveals itself and it's not pretty. 

[forerussake]

Fic Writer Interview

i was tagged by the lovely @phantomhydeoftheopera! thank you fairy, i had a lot of fun thinking about these questions and trying to answer them well, as you can see by how long this post has gotten!! love yaaaaa

name/nicknames: on the internet I go by Eru, bc names are hard and this is in my handle everywhere anyway and i like it :)

fandoms: i’m currently mostly active in Guardian, DMBJ and Tolkien fandoms (and the occasional foray into the associated RPF and crossover tags on AO3), but I have also written before for the QZGS/TKA, Yin Yang Master (QYJ) and MDZS/CQL fandoms :)

two shots?: i haven’t written anything that worked in two chapters yet, if that is the question. I try to contain myself to one chapter unless the story warrants more, and if it does it has so far always been more than two.

most popular multi-chapter fic: that would be the one i wrote this year, a hand within a hand (holding light). the engagement with this fic really surprised me, bc i expected the outsider pov format and the fact that the stories are driven by and centrered around OCs to be really niche and only interesting to very few people, but i got consistently positive responses to it :)

actual worst part of writing: i don’t think there is any one part of writing that i think is the worst. every fic calls for different things and has different struggles. sometimes it’s getting started, sometimes it’s getting stuck in the middle, sometimes it’s the editing, sometimes the tagging, etc. it really depends.

how do you choose your titles: i have a folder on my phone that has pictures of poetry i come across on the internet with lines that would be good titles. when looking for one i often go through that before the final editing phase, and then fit the story around it (by adding lines or returning metaphors to integrate the title into the story if it doesn’t already fit perfectly). 

otherwise i like to take my titles from returning themes in the story itself, which often develop as i write. for example when i wrote in tune i found myself constantly referencing shen wei’s power being in tune or in time or in sync with something else (his heartbeat, his breathing, the storm outside), so in tune became the title, because it also references Weilan’s love for each other, which is the core of the story. 

occasionally i like to choose titles that reflect the core of the story in a more abstract way, like with Kaleidoscope (a rush of snapshots of Queer stories), and Spirometer (about breathing and/as the quantification/conceptualization of love). 

do you outline?: when i do multi chapter (or 5+1 or another story format with different sections) i like to outline a little bit at least. just give myself some notes on what the chapter or section should cover for the whole to work. i do have stories that i have outlined extensively, but none of those have ever seen the light of day as of yet, i guess because it makes them too daunting.

ideas you probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice?: hah, picking up where i left off at the last question. one of those extensively plotted stories fits this question as well. I call it the Yin Yang Master Metaphorical Serpent Modern!AU (MSM!AU for short), which is basically a modern day adaptation of that movie, but centred around Killing Stone and the other shishen, working off the basic premise that the Serpent isn’t a real entity but is instead a metaphor Qingming (who in this AU is their therapist) sometimes uses to conceptualize his patients’ various mental health conditions. ...it’s a rough one. but if i could actually write it someday..... it would be the best thing i’ve ever written.

other than that: the MDZS murder mystery fic :( it’s mostly plotted but yeah... different fandoms have drawn me in since 2020....

callouts @ me: dare to write short stories without derailing them into long ones. also: sometimes a fic doesn’t have to be perfect or be a fully coherent thematic whole. not all fics need your typical “onset, catalyst, climactic catharsic scene, and extensive thematic polishing ending”-structure. sometimes you can just write a little bit about trope bc it’s fun, and it doesn’t have to mean shit. 

best writing traits: i think i do really well at setting the mood for scenes, and developing themes and rounding them off. i’m very much a writer whose every choice of word and metaphor and descriptor tends to have a reason. if i mention a painting on a wall in scene 2, then you can be sure it will return somewhere, or i wouldn’t have mentioned it. i’m good at not leaving too many loose ends. 

spicy tangential opinion: is “there is nothing inherently (or, god forbid, morally) wrong with writing or reading RPF” a spicy opinion? bc then that. the problem with RPF fandoms is that alongside the normal people, there are too many people in them who have trouble differentiating the relationships they read and write about from the real actual people they are based on, and then try to carry the attitude they put into the writing of RPF on into their real life interactions with other people.

that is bad, but there is nothing wrong with writing RPF itself, as long as you keep it within fandom circles, in a closed-off and easily filtered space (such as AO3), and are able to acknowledge the fact that the people you write in your stories are merely characters you have created and are not a reflection of reality. we are authors, not omniscient creator-gods. also, these people’s actual private life is none of our fucking business and they owe us nothing. 

that became a bit of a rant, and this whole thing became quite long. sorry about that xD

tagging: @lucientelrunya @programmedradly @deathofsanity @shadaras @lunarriviera @sharkbeneaththelotus @omaenanimonoda @lynne-monstr @thedaughterofshadows @aredhel-of-doylkien @onmyo-jin  if you want to :)

[squirrelwrangler]

Besides bias I think having Noldor in mind when writing also makes it easier. Unless you wanna get creative + pioneer a reason. With 1 whole sentence explanations some of Tolkiens stuff is never clear. That tension wouldn’t have been there until after the first battle. There needs to be a girdle for Iathrim to exist + many Sindar weren’t stationary with housing. So some people had lived up north in the past and just were elsewhere when the orcs came.

you're talking to someone who finds virtually every single group more interesting than the Noldor, with a few exceptions like the Arafinwions but then there I'm interested in them for their connections to the Edain and Teleri. And a lot of the Noldor only have 1 sentence characterization same as any other Silm character, but the fandom focuses on them so it seems more - the Noldor group that has the most actual text about them are the people of Gondolin and they are underrepresented. But because the Sindar have interested me from day one (for twenty years now if I could ask Jirt one single question about the Silm it would be about Dior Eluchil.), and what framework that they have is richer potential and aligns to my interests, well, here I am.

Before the first round of Morgoth's attacks -the fell wolves and such that long predates Morgoth's return and which prompts the creation of Menegroth itself- all of the Sindar were nomadic. But if you study Stone Age Europe that lines up, and just because a group was not completely sedentary doesn't mean they were constantly on the move or didn't build settlements that they would stay at for more than half a year if not more. Mesolithic villages and all that. That gorgeously preserved English estuary site that to my shame I am blanking on the name. However the geography variety of Beleriand demands that the Sindar wold divide their lifestyle groups at least a little bit, more so than just Falathirm and the rest of the Eglath. So obviously there would be Northern Mithrim- and a distinction between Nevrast, the far north plains with probably some variation east to west, those living in the plains and forests south of Tol Sirion, then the forest group that would become Doriath, and then Ossiriand. Starting from "Wall the Heart" I formalized this in my head through the handy shorthand of Eredhon's two sons, and that Meril was supposed to split the Ard Galen with her brother. The groups weren't monoliths and people followed freely between them if they chose and Thingol was High King over all of them and before the war with Morgoth made it impossible he was frequently touring between them all - that's the backdrop to "The Smell of Raindrops and Lightning". Add in that the Nandor also split themselves after Denethor's death, and then you have some Avari joining the Sindar, some of which were Tatyar up in Dor-lómin, and there's the recipe for some many groups in Beleriand with competing interests and political alliances and rivalries, before even including the various Dwarves -and it seems intuitive that there was a major rivalry between Nogrod and Belegost. The Noldor building their kingdoms on top of the Sindar homelands is just another factor to layer on top, one that probably helped to unify the various Sindar as much as any new borders and overlords might divide. (aka the subtext that gives me fun when writing about Meril and Mornacu)

[fortrollad]

#FORTROLLAD. master sorcerer hreðric the dragonslayer, known in modern days as rorek of the kingdom of nol. from the dcau / teen titans franchise, but re-imagined to fit more tolkien based lore.

this blog uses beta editor only! this blog is a sideblog to @grymfared and all follows will come from malchior's blog, also the blog lores go together.

about. verses. interest checker. rules under readmore

#FORTROLLAD is an independent, private, highly selective and mutuals exclusive writing blog for rorek of nol of the dcau / teen titans franchise. but also actually i reimagined him for tolkien adjacent lore which is not surprising to anyone who knows me. please note, this blog is a sideblog! if you are following malchior's blog, consider yourself mutuals with rorek!

due to the general content of the franchise, this blog is 18+. please do not follow me if you are under 18!

on this note, this blog will feature dark and triggering themes. rorek is equally the worst as malchior lmao. i will make sure to tag things with the format of #trigger so that they can be filtered out! please tag #trypophobia for me

𝐭𝐰𝐨. shipping is not the priority here- rorek loves malchior, as messed up as their dynamic is.

on the note of rorek and raven there's no indication that rorek would've actually been a heroic wizard and certainly no indication that he would treat raven any better than malchior. on top of that, raven is a minor! rorek might not have many morals, but he isn't making any moves on minors, thanks!

if shipping happens, it will require a LOT of plotting and will not be with any mun or muse under the age of 21.

i am very open to other sorts of bonds, though! because it isn't just romance when people talk about ships- rorek is not great at being anything but an arrogant jerk, but regardless i'd love to see where things go!

i should also note that i will accept mains and exclusives!

𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞. i am known for writing metas across the blogs i have. in the wise words of a friend:

with this in mind, the metas i write are portrayal specific to this blog, so please give them a read! i know i can be rather wordy- anyone who has followed me elsewhere may know this, but for my first time followers, worldbuilding is one of my favorite things to do. i am particularly fond of analysis of character psychology.

𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫. to the point above, i do have other blogs! i run @hmrtia and @godstrain, those ones are rather well known. i am in and out of other fandoms, but i am trying to focus on a smaller group of things for my own sanity.

and by this, i mean i work 32-40 hours as a registered nurse in an inpatient psychiatric unit. i am busy, i am tired, and i can't keep letting my focus go all over the place. inevitably, it still may do that because i have a tendency to be scattered, so if i don't get to something immediately, it isn't you, it's me!

also related to that, i do love communication! i struggle with reading the room (it's the Autism tm) and so if something's up or if you're bothered, please be direct with me! i will not take offense, i quite appreciate feedback so that i can be better as a person! in return, i will communicate back! i am learning to curate my space (after 10+ years of being on tumblr).

𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞. there are people i won't interact with due to various reasons- my dni list is on the carrd of my other blogs. i won't interact with genderbent versions of characters, people who are Real Life Individuals (not counting fictional depictions like in the typemoon franchise or whatnot because those really have nothing to do with the actual individual they're supposedly based on?).

please stay far away from me if you fall under the following categories (i'm censoring things because god knows tumblr just picks shit up idk): proshipping, writing inc*st, p*dophilia, r*pe/n*ncon, are transphobic/homophobic- the usual gross behavior! use your moral compass!

on top of that, i am a firm believer that we learn from the media around us. full censorship is just as dangerous as the aforementioned things- the world isn't all sunshine and rainbows! please refer to this post which essentially summarizes the gist of what i'm trying to explain.

𝐬𝐢𝐱. anyway, hello, i'm knight. i am 29+ and use he/him pronouns exclusively! i am a hobby artist (it's my side-gig from nursing) and sometimes i post my art, tagged #whats my art tag considering i constantly forget my art tag if it's fancy. please do not repost my art without my permission. i'm slowly finishing picking a fc for rorek since teen titans REALLY gave nothing on that front.

mutuals, feel free to ask me for my discord, since i am much easier to reach there!

i look forward to writing with you!

[luna-writes-stuff]

Hum... Kili having a touchy and flirty girlfriend (Only with him) (Sorry, bad request but I wanted to send something and I don't have good ideas 😕)

Double Trouble, Kili Durin

Girlie, I don’t care whatever you send me. All that matters is that you bother to ask me to write something. Thank you so much🥺

Headcanons, female s/o (but can be read as gender neutral)

Tw: idk? Kili being Kili?

- I feel like at least 70% of the Tolkien fandom just agreed with the fact that Kili is basically a puppy. And I’m here for it.

- That being said, he loves attention. It doesn’t matter what it is or how it’s received, he loves it.

- You wrap your arm around his while you’re walking? He quickly grabs your hand with his free arm and gives it a gentle squeeze.

- You run up to him to give him a hug? He stops whatever he’s doing and runs up to you in the same speed, engulfing you in his arms and twirling you around.

- You grow bored and braid his hair? He leans into your touch, letting out a content sigh and talks to you about his day. It often helps him sleep too.

- I could write an essay about physical affection with Kili. (I just might write about it soon👀)

- And his kisses are just the sweetest. He will give you one for literally any occasion.

- Goodmorning/Goodnight kisses, rewarding kisses, joking kisses, passionate kisses, butterfly kisses, hand kisses, forehead kisses etc. etc. etc.

- He cannot get enough of it. He loves giving you kisses but he completely melts when you initiate them.

- When you’re holding his hand, give it a little kiss out of nowhere. He’ll get all flustered and red and won’t even know how to respond for a good five minutes. It’s adorable.

- He’s usually very flirty, but when you start any form of affection with him, he just loses all the clever words he has stocked up.

- But when you’re flirting, he flirts back twice as hard. No holding back. And it fuels you on to win the flirting competition.

- It’s now to the point it just becomes stupid and terrible.

- “You must be exhausted, because you’ve been running in my mind all day.” “You know what’s on the menu? Me-n-u”

- Fili is so tired of you two.

- Kili is the sweetest, though. Even as the flirting has grown into joking, he’s not afraid to shower you with compliments the entire day.

- And it’s about the tiniest things that only he notices; “Are those new earrings?” or “That color is truly yours, isn’t it?”

- But he makes cheesy remarks too. He knows they make you laugh, so he’ll casually throw them in in front of others; “Darling, your dress really compliments your eyes owo” or “My, you look quite fetching today, my love ;}”

- Return his compliments with a “You look hotter than Smaug’s flames :>” and the flirting competition is back on.

- This man absolutely treasures you. Your energy just matches and he loves it so much. He feels completely at comfort with you and won’t hold back on jokes and behavior. He’s just so happy he can be himself around you, it makes him excited to see you again.

- He has to act all serious and royal all day, so when it’s the two of you, chaos has returned. This is also the reason Thorin keeps three chairs between the two of you during royal meetings. Kili likes to make funny faces when you’re directly in front of him and when you’re beside him, he keeps teasing you by tickling you or kicking his foot against yours.

- Not very subtle, though, because Thorin noticed after two meetings.

[gascon-en-exil]

Do you read/play a lot of fantasy outside of FE?

Have been a fairly consistent if not very vocal fan of The Legend of Zelda since A Link to the Past, although Breath of the Wild's open world and unappealing difficulty turned me off a fair bit. I now have zero hype for the repeatedly-delayed sequel.

Read The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, and The Silmarillion a very long time ago, saw the movies, not terribly interested in Tolkien beyond that. I find his writing dry and, when it comes to it, almost comically sexless.

Read the first six Harry Potter books just as long ago, saw the movies, never returned to them. That was my earliest exposure to online (mega)fandom, but the discourse soured me on what was there and the stories got a little too video game-y - "collect/destroy X number of magical items" - for my taste at the time.

Played World of Warcraft on and off for ~15 years, the story's a mess but it has its highlights. The next expansion is set to come out at the end of this year and I'm mildly curious about it.

Watched Game of Thrones after it had all come out, having spoiled myself on all the big twists in the years leading up to the ending that everyone hated. Rather enjoyed most of it actually, and even liveblogged my first viewing, although most of the last two seasons is indeed a hot mess. Am looking forward to House of the Dragon in a few days, and had my August not been so hectic I had tentatively planned to make a video on my favorite GoT character a week or so before the new show came out. I have no interest in reading the novels however, as I'd rather not pick up a book series that currently has no end and very well may never have one.

Those are the big ones. There's a few others here and there - I read A Wrinkle in Time when I was very young, endured all three Golden Sun games in their time, played Octopath Traveler and Triangle Strategy and liked them though not enough for more than the occasional replay - but not much else I recall all that well.

[itariilles]

My Statement on Tolkien 2019

[ French translation and German translation availible. ]

It has been incredibly difficult for me to speak on my experiences regarding my experiences of hostility and othering in spaces that I loved and still hold dear to my heart, and for that reason I have been silent. That is until now. 

I have decided that now is the right time for me to come forward with my experience and statement regarding my negative experience as a person of colour engaging in Tolkien spaces. 

I want people involved in the wider Tolkien community to reflect on their roles in the specific spaces they inhabit, and how you can foster a better environment for marginalised groups to interact and engage with those spaces in a safe and inclusive manner. 

Take your time to listen and put effort into listening to fans of colour when they are speaking about their lived experiences and their grievances especially when they are speaking about a topic as personal as racism. Being critical of a work you love and the media surrounding it is not easy thing, but we need to recognise that these criticisms are valid and deserve to be taken seriously when it affects a collective of people across different backgrounds. 

I want to preface this by stating that I am speaking only for myself and my own lived experience as a vocal young non-black POC in a predominantly white space. I acknowledge that my experience is by no means universal or indicative of all POC in Tolkien fandom spaces. 

I also understand that real life interactions differ widely from interactions on online fandom spaces, but there are disturbing similarities across both online and real life spaces with specific regard to the environment and treatment of vocal POC in both. 

The tragedy is many people do not realise their impact not only on the individuals involved, but on the wider attitude towards POC voices in fandom when the topic of racism is discussed. We need to build safe environments where critical discussions of diversity and race from the people most affected by them are taken to heart, not invalidated or spoken over as targets of microaggressions. 

To give a bit of context, Tolkien 2019 was an in person conference organised by the Tolkien Society (which I was a member of at the time). The official website for Tolkien 2019 has been taken down but the Tolkien Society has a nice summary written in August 2018 breaking down the event here. 

I was approached by the Education Secretary at the time about my possible involvement in a panel discussing the history and future of the Tolkien Society which I elaborate on further in my statement. It was the first time I had felt that I had a platform where I could freely express my voice as a diverse reader and consumer of Tolkien media who held diversity in Tolkien as a core value in the wider Tolkien brand. 

I felt that as the only non-white member on the panel I had an obligation to speak out on the topic of diversity when it was raised. I tried to speak briefly about some of the points and discourses I had heard on portrayals of diversity in Tolkien media with as much nuance as I could manage at the time. In response to some points I had made I was met with vocal disapproval by some audience members and visible signs of disapproval and hostile body language from others. 

This was made even more jarring when later during the course of the event when two white creators hinted at vague notions of diversity were met with a far greater degree of approval. The former instance was during the context of a panel regarding the upcoming LOTR on Prime series, and the latter was during a talk presented by the chair of the Tolkien Society.

I felt intimidated and reluctant to involve myself any further in the Tolkien fandom, especially in real life spaces as my experience at Tolkien 2019 had only solidified and reaffirmed my fears and unease I had engaging in a predominantly white fandom with few visible POC members and creators who tackle topics of diversity and racism in both the community and source texts.

Following this event I was approached by an affiliate of one of the attendees who very kindly took the time to listen to me and suggested that I should write a statement in response to my experience. To my knowledge, my statement has not been shared or published on any platform yet and this will be the first time I have ever spoken about it publicly. 

Since then some of my thoughts and opinions on certain aspects of Tolkien fandom and meta have shifted or evolved which I will hopefully expand on in the future, but I wanted to share my initial unchanged statement I wrote reflecting my immediate reaction to my experience. 

I want to be seen as a Tolkien creative and critical thinker above anything else, but I cannot move forward with my work without speaking about my lived experience in a space which has been consistently hostile to me and so many others across different Tolkien spaces for so many years starting with my account of this one experience.

I hope my statement finds itself in good hands and I will always be willing to engage with others about my experiences so long as you engage with me in good faith. 

The statement I wrote on 25/09/2019 is as follows:

From the 9th to 11th of August of this year I attended a conference held by the Tolkien society aptly named “Tolkien 2019” that advertised itself as the “largest celebration of Tolkien ever held by the Society” in which I both spoke as a panelist and independant speaker. The event itself was a mixture of both formal and informal panels, papers presented by selected members of the society, and evening social events.

My invitation to speak on the “History of the Tolkien Society” panel was presented as deliberate choice made by the panel organiser as a gateway for discussion about diversity and representation in Tolkien. On the official programme, the panel was described as a discussion concerning “what the Tolkien Society and Tolkien fandom in general may become as it encounters digital spaces, issues of representation and diversity, academic interest and a myriad other factors that make up our lived experience today”.

Although there was much excitement and anticipation on my half in the weeks and days leading up to the event, it soon turned to dread when the tone and climate of the discussion dawned on me when I took my seat alongside five other panelists ranging from seasoned Tolkien scholars, long-time members of the Society, and a member with a leadership position within the Society. On that four person panel, I was the only one racialised as non-white. In fact, I was one of only three people in a room of approximately fifty to sixty people racialised as non-white.

It wasn’t long before the true motive of placing me — a young, new member of the Society, who felt already out of place and out of my depth even being offered the opportunity to participate in the first place — on a panel of what I perceived to be more seasoned members of the society.

When the topic of diversity and representation in the Tolkien fandom was raised by the moderator, I saw it as an opportunity for me to share my own experiences as a young fan who predominantly consumed Tolkien content online, as well as some observations I had made regarding the current pop-cultural perception of Tolkien as being heavily influenced, if not wholly entered around the Peter Jackson trilogies and being deeply ingrained with the issues that seep from those interpretations into our overall perception of the Tolkien brand.

One of the talking points that seemed to have caused the biggest uproar and dissent was one in which I referred Tolkien’s description of Sam’s hands as brown in two instances — the first in the Two Towers, and the second instance in Return of the King and how this has been translated into film as both literal and symbolic interpretations. The former in the Ralph Bakshi’s the “Lord of the Rings” released in 1978 in which I noted that the decision to portray Sam as more ethnically ambiguous compared to the other Hobbits was a deliberate choice, whereas the latter was depicted in the recent Peter Jackson trilogy released in the early 2000’s took the description symbolically and cast the white American actor Sean Astin for the role.

The backlash I received for this was, I believe, absolutely disproportionate to the views I expressed. I saw members frown and grunt in disapproval, as well as some visibly shake their heads at me. In spite of me parroting how I saw both interpretations as equally valid as a defence mechanism in the face of such an aggressive response to what to me seemed like an innocuous observation made by a young person of colour who did not see many portrayals of people of colour in Tolkien. 

Comments such as “I don’t care who they cast as Sam whether he’s black, brown, yellow, blue or green!” and “Tolkien’s message is universal I don’t see how race factors into this!” were shouted in between points I was making, and countless others were made as an effort to dismiss the effort I put in to hopefully start an open dialogue about the lack of diversity in adaptations of Tolkien and how it has coloured our perception of the overall brand, and perhaps fantasy as a whole.

Some other talking points I decided to mention included Peter Jackson’s Easterlings (coded as being North African or Middle Eastern in the film) as being appallingly Orientalist and damaging in a post-911 world, as well as referring to Tolkien’s vague descriptions of certain characters and people groups that can be interpreted as ethnic coding or perhaps hint at a more diverse cast than the popular brand of Tolkien that may have us believe. I iterated that it is the responsibility of consumers of Tolkien and Tolkien related media to push for different interpretations of the text in order to break the perception that Tolkien’s works are entirely Anglo and Eurocentric with no place for people of colour in the vast world he had created in my opinion as a love letter to his own.

A month later it is still difficult for me to fully wrap my head around what I had experienced during the conference, much less articulating it in a statement, but if there is a note I would like to conclude on it would be this: it was never about changing Tolkien’s works, but reinterpreting his 20th century text littered with colonial artefacts and reimagining the foundations of his work through a 21st century lens in an attempt to decolonise the interpretation of his works in popular culture.

To change the way we read, write and depict the Tolkien brand is to fundamentally change the landscape of the entire genre of fantasy which has and still derives so heavily from Tolkien’s works and the global Tolkien brand.

End.

[elesianne]

Update on me

I thought I’d do a little update post since I’ve been absent from Tumblr for a while, and other fandom spaces too.

(I’ll get back on Discord one of these days, though.)

I haven’t been busy this spring and summer by other people’s standards, I guess, but I have been by mine. I have a limited number of spoons and they haven’t stretched to writing and other fandom stuff for a while. I’ve still been scrolling my Tumblr feed and kept my queue running – though it ran out today, I’ll try to restock it a bit – but I haven’t written since January. I’ve had far too many dentist’s appointments, a new doctor, new meds, I started a new kind of therapy recently, and there’s been some good stuff too which I’ll tell you about in a moment.

But first I’ll say that I am taking part in  TRSB as both a writer and artist, so that fic and art will be coming later this summer, but otherwise I’m taking a break from creating for the Silm/Tolkien fandom. I trust that I will return eventually – I always have so far!

The good stuff that has been occupying a lot of my time, and will be: husband and I bought a house! We’ve been waiting for a couple of years now for the circumstances to be right, and to find the right new apartment or house. And in May in a whirlwind four days we found out about a very nice little house, secured a loan, saw the house, made an offer and were accepted. We’re getting the keys on Friday and moving there in mid-July.

I am really excited. The house, in the neighbouring town, is a lot bigger than our current apartment and it has a garden. I’m going to try my best not to kill any plants, and perhaps plant a few new berry bushes and such. I haven’t had a garden of my own for a long time! This is the end to my city living, for now at least. The house is also very close to the apartment my mum bought last year (so much so that I’ve joked to my husband he’s a brave man to move so close to his mother-in-law, lol) so it will be much easier to see my mum and stepdad and Happy in the future :)

[incognitajones]

20 questions meme

@andorerso and @fulcrumstardust tagged me!

20 questions, writer’s edition:

How many works do you have on AO3?

If I include both of my accounts, 157. 

What’s your total AO3 word count?

Over 500,000, the vast majority of which is on my SW account.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Including all the drabbles & Yuletide fics for tiny fandoms I've written over the years, more than 30. But in terms of fandoms I've spent a lot of time in, there are only two: Tolkien/Lord of the Rings and Star Wars.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Going by the Star Wars account since it's a bigger fandom:

Last Train

I fought the war (but the war won)

left-handed kisses

Fixer Upper

Chain Reaction

From which I conclude mainly that Reylo fans are voracious and kudos-happy 😘 and small fandom life is so very, very different (the highest number of kudos on my other account is less than half of the kudos on number 5 above).

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes! I appreciate comments, and I want to let commenters know that. Plus sometimes it’s fun to talk about why you made certain choices in a story.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Entertainingly, the answer to both of these questions is the same! From the start, I’d always intended I fought the war (but the war won) to end unhappily, and I still think that ending works "best" in terms of its theme. But after spending so much time in that AU, I had to write an alternate, sickeningly domestic ending as well because I wanted the happier resolution too.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I've only written one, but it was pretty strange (SW/MCU).

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Random Tumblr hate, yeah, but nothing on a story. 

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes; mostly, M/F because that's what I tend to ship, but I've also written M/M and M/M/F.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know...

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, two stories of mine have been translated (into Korean and Russian) which is a lovely compliment.

Have you ever co-written a fic?

Not yet!

What’s your all time favorite ship?

A tie between a tiny ship I've written half the fic for, and Rebelcaptain.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

First Steps. I had the whole thing outlined, but lost steam, and it’s episodic enough that I don’t feel any urgency to finish it for the plot. 

What are your writing strengths?

Concision, (sometimes) dialogue.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Endings! And plot in general.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Rarely a good idea. Most of the time the reader isn’t going to understand it (unless you’re writing for a multilingual audience or drop heavy context clues), which cancels the effect.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Hmm... XF was my first fandom, but I don't think I actually wrote any fic back in the day, so probably Buffy.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

The answer to that changes often! But today, right now, I’d pick no returning to the spoils.

I tag: @oh-nostalgiaa, @atthelamppost, @thestarbirdfromtheashes and anyone else who wants to do it!

[gffa]

I was talking with @himboskywalker​ about Tolkien and fandom and fic, because I’m always curious where people’s “area” of the wider Legendarium are at, whether they’re a fan of the Dwarves or the Humans or the Elves or the Valar or what!  (As a surprise to absolutely no one, the Elves are where my heart is at, where I very much love the Noldor, but if you give me a choice I’m going to run over to that Sindar-centric fic every time.) Which got us onto the topic of fic recs, where, yes, I’ve done a LOT of Tolkien fic recs but I tend to read something of a wide variety and this is a list specifically aimed at those who are familiar with the wider Tolkien world, but haven’t really read much fic and want to know where to start! Other Recs First: - If you haven’t gotten further into Tolkien’s work (like say beyond the movies), I’ve done something of a primer here, which includes fic recs and brief explanations and links to videos that help explain some things.  It’s not as hard as it seems to get involved, honest! - Some other fic recs here, as an addition to the above. - My Tolkien blog (which I haven’t been on in awhile, though, I haven’t let it go in my heart yet) has, I’m not kidding, A LOT of fic recs, I did recs regularly for about three years, so it’s almost as massive as my collection of SW recs. If I Could Only Pick Three To Start You With: ✦ And What Happened After by thearrogantemu - This is the fic that took me from enjoying the Silm characters to diving face-first into really loving them, because it wove such an engaging story about the characters sailing to Aman at the end of LOTR, where various characters you wouldn’t think interacting would be as meaningful as they are, but the fic absolutely sells them on it.  Frodo and Feanor having a conversation about language?  Sam and Maglor sharing a boat to the West?  These things are amazing, as this is a fic about healing and what it means to sail into the Undying Lands.  Also, it has a Feanor and Fingolfin reunion that literally put tears in my eyes. ✦ Interrupted Journeys by ellisk - I’m generally not someone who does a lot of rereading of fic just because I have so many new ones to get to, but I’ve read my favorites in this series (parts 3 to 5 are my sweet spot especially) probably four times through now because “Elfling Legolas growing up in Greenwod with a whole cast of characters around him, as the Shadow so very, very slowly creeps towards them” may sound somewhat simple, but the worldbuilding here is off the scale.  The weaving in of how much the First Age and various Elven politics influenced Thranduil’s ruling of a Silvan people is a major theme, but it’s also good parents raising that precious Elfling right and he and his cousins+friends getting into all sorts of mischief, so it’s balanced between humor and drama in the exact amounts I want.  You can skip the first two fics and jump into the third if you like, which is when Legolas is introduced, but I enjoy the whole thing. ✦ Return to Aman OR Quenta Narquelion by bunn - I can’t pick between these two, they’re both incredible.  Return to Aman is basically “Elrond grabs Maglor and drags him to Aman with them” and it breaths such incredible lift into all the characters of Aman, it doesn’t negate the terrible things the Feanorians did, but neither does it negate Elrond’s love for them and his biological family, too.  It’s another fic that’s about healing and forgiveness and it made me glow to read it.  Quenta Narquelion is basically “Feanor refused the call of Mandos after he died and everything started to snowball from there” and it’s an absolutely heartbreaking look at all our Problematic Fave Feanorians and how they were once good people trying to do the best they could, but bit by bit they slipped into the dark.  It’s especially amazing for capturing the complexities of Feanor, as he hovers over his children as a spirit and it really brought me around on his character. The Silmarillion and other First Age Batshit Faves: ✦ The Starlit Sky by Cirth is the fic that really made me get the potential of reading about Maedhros and Maglor raising Elrond and Elros, where it does such a fantastic job of showing that there was genuine affection there, even the midst of all the angst and trauma and pain.  You really get why Elrond could never give up on them, after reading this fic. ✦ In Courts of Living Stone by ncfan - “What if Maeglin never left Nan Elmoth and instead, several decades later, found himself on an errand to Menegroth and developed a relationship with Finduilas instead?” isn’t a fic I expected to capture my heart, but boy did it ever.  Beautiful characterization and beautiful writing, it really captured my imagination, but also gave me ALLLLLL the Maeglin feelings, as well as made me pine that this Finduilas couldn’t have been more common in fandom. ✦ naught but the shores and the sea by ncfan is more of Elrond and Maglor, where it’s an AU that has Elrond finding Maglor after the disastrous attempt to recover the Silmarils and I loved it a lot. ✦ The Crane Wife by Trebia is one that takes an underused character from Tolkien (Lalwen, in this case) and breathes this incredible life into her, gives her personality and joy and sorrow and meaning and, look, any fic that can convince me that Thranduil would marry a Noldo and utterly believe it, you know it’s well-written! The Second Age Is Kind of Quiet in Fandom But I Love It Regardless: ✦ The Art of Long-Distance Grandparenting by Kazaera is a lovely and bittersweet (but mostly lighter in tone) fic about the separation of the Sea between family members and does a wonderful job with Idril’s character, as she tries to stay connected to her grandchildren while being so distant from them and unable to see them, unless they choose to come to Aman.  There’s joy to be found here and it’s a lovely read. ✦ Relativity by French Pony is a lovely look at the final meeting between Elrond and Elros and strikes the right amount of bittersweetness, where it’s awkward and difficult and heartbreaking, but also feels natural and like this was how it was meant to be.  I had many, many Elven Twin feelings during the whole thing.  (I like all their fic, they’re worth checking out their other stuff for, too!) ✦ A Thing or Two About Elrond by Crookneck is a series of fics about Elrond and the various relationships he has--with Celebrian, with his children, with Gil-Galad, etc.--and I remember being really charmed by all of them and how much shit Elrond has seen over the course of his life. The Third Age, Lord of the Rings Version: ✦ Boromir's Return by Osheen Nevoy - This one is sort hard to summarize, but it’s basically “Boromir lives, makes a friend, and slowly changes everything about the LOTR plot”, but it’s so much more than that, where the worldbuilding is phenomenal, the pacing is incredible, it made me fall in love with Boromir as a character all over again, it contains probably the best portrayal of Denethor I’ve ever read in fandom, and I really loved the OC and so on.  It’s utterly engrossing and honestly I cannot recommend it highly enough, even if you’re not usually into this sort of thing. ✦ The River by Indigo Bunting is a fic where Legolas and Sam get separated from the others for a brief time and I love fics that take two characters who don’t interact much, throw them into an intense situation, and sees what happens.  It’s not precisely a light-hearted fic, it’s very intense, but it’ll make you fall in love with the sheer good in both characters and the friendship they develop.  It’s brilliantly written and I cannot recommend it enough. ✦ A Bit of Rope by Aiwendiel is a fic where Gandalf doesn’t fall at Moria and it changes everything--not necessarily for the better.  The slow, creeping sense of things changing, things going just a little bit worse here and there, until you realize how much darker the Fellowship’s journey could have been, was brilliantly done, and one I thought did justice to the idea, it’s not grimdark, there’s still light and hope here, but it makes you feel like, oh, maybe things happened as they did for a reason, even as hard as that seemed sometimes.  Gorgeously plotted and utterly engrossing. The Third Age, Mirkwood Version: ✦ daw the minstrel has an entire series of fics about Legolas growing up in Mirkwood and there’s absolutely a reason why she was one of the most well-known authors in that corner of fandom.  Her ability to create new characters (including two brothers for Legolas) was incredible, I cared so much about the family dynamics and got swept up in the drama (which was in a very loving family, but Legolas was definitely a mischief-seeker) and they’re fantastic.  If you find yourself in something of a stretch with too many OCs and your attention wavers, you can always skip around, they don’t have to be read in order and a lot of the non-canon characters can be skimmed over, imo. ✦ In a Field of Blood and Stone by ScribeofArda is so much better than what The Hobbit movies gave us of the Battle of Five Armies, it does such beautiful justice to the complicated character of Thranduil and Legolas, not sacrificing the warmth there for how difficult these times are and the war they find themselves in the middle of.  This Bard is also really engaging and fun to read--I read pretty much the entire novel’s worth in, like, a day or two because I could not put this one down. ✦ Swordplay and Swimming by cliodna_bright has an incredible meeting where Thranduil comes to visit Rivendell, runs into Elladan and Elrohir, who are young enough that they speak without thinking, and it’s not precisely a humor fic, but I was screaming the entire time because it’s so sharply written and so absolutely delightful, I LOVE IT. ✦ Deep and Crisp and Even by rivlee made me fall in love with how Elves and humans may look very similar, but there’s this sense of otherworldliness to the Elves, as shown through Bard’s eyes when he has a meeting with Thranduil.  Beautifully written and just the right amount of atmospheric. The Fourth Age Where Everything Actually Does Mostly Work Out: ✦ Far Horizons by Bodkin is the Fourth Age fic of my heart, where the various Elves that we came to know in Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit are all in Aman and decide to build their own realm there.  Which is difficult because Elven Politics even just amongst themselves, much less clashing with all the established politics of the other Elven realms in Aman!  But it’s a light-hearted fic (for the most part) that’s about healing and moving forward, balancing their ties to their history versus that Middle-Earth changed them, and I love it for soothing my soul.  (Thranduil sailed, you can’t tell me otherwise!!!)(Bonus moments of Glorfindel being pretty hilarious.)  I like all of bodkin’s work, but this one has a special place with me. ✦ Age of Healing by trollmela is one where Maedhros and Legolas have a conversation in Aman and it’s about the bittersweetness of healing and how difficult it is, taking two characters who would never have met in canon and weaving something entirely engaging and poignant out of it. Collections That Span The Ages: ✦ This Taste of Shadow by Mira_Jade - This is a collection of dozens of various shorter stories (or sometimes 10k “ficlets”) that you can largely skip around in if you have specific characters you like or you can just start at the beginning and read through.  It contains looks at pretty much everyone, from Maedhros to Galadriel to Thranduil to Elrond to Caranthir to Glorfindel to the Valar, etc.  I’ve enjoyed pretty much everything I’ve read in this collection! ✦ Fiondil's Tapestry and Tales from Vairë's Loom by Fiondil are in the same vein and I have really enjoyed everything I’ve read from both of them!  I especially remember that there was one chapter that had a scene between Thranduil and Cirdan and thinking, ahhhh, why has no one ever written that before!? as an example of the neat things it does.  But also lots about Elrond and Glorfindel and the Valar and so on! This probably doesn’t feel like a super extensive list, but those collection series will give you an excellent spanning of Elves, Humans, Dwarves, Hobbits, etc., not just the same central characters, but giving time to a lot of lesser focused ones as well.  Like, I feel I’ve read a fair chunk of Elwing fic, but I couldn’t point you to a specific one in my list of recs, which means I’m pretty sure it was in the collections ones or else she got some good scenes in one of the Aman-based fics, so I swear the above is at least a solid place to start for dipping one’s toe into Tolkien fic. AS ALWAYS, OTHER PEOPLE’S RECS ARE WELCOME, god knows I haven’t read anything in the last two years (and will have missed a lot even before that) and so I always need more recs, too!