#one day we'll find a way to celebrate and affrim queer sex and sexuality that's not backhanded... one day..

[leikeliscomet]

I've grown tired of posts that 'affirm' queer sexuality that throw asexual queer people under the bus. I'm tired of puritan sanitisation being blamed on the boring sexless frigid queers and not the long history and system of sexual puritanism which, spoiler alert, never supported sexless queer people ace or not regardless. I'm tired of 'progressive' compulsory sexuality being promoted and supported with a 'oh yeah some people are ace' slapped in at the end. I'm tired of every single post about how the sexless uwu pink sapphics and flowercrown gay boys or whatever scapegoat we're picking today is causing the downfall of the community and representation and not y'know, actual lesbophobia, homophobia etc. I'm tired of everyone assuming to be an asexual and/or sexless queer person means being white, feminine, delicate and soft because they can't imagine Blackness and masculinity as something compatible with being ace and/or sexless. I'm tired of asexual and/or sexless queerness being acknowledged as long we accept we're a niche minority and different from 'normal' and 'real' queerness. I'm tired of every recognition of asexual queerness being adlibbed with 'this is valid but remember most queer people are NOT like this' 'you're valid but remember the real queers fuck and we're not boring like these lot!' because the idea of a lesbian, gay, bi, pan or trans asexual is that uncomfortable and 'bad representation' for people to comprehend apparently. I'm tired of asexual and sexless being used as insults to attack other queer people and characters who 'fail' to live up to their queerness. I'm tired of queerness being that needs to be lived up to in the first place and not just something you are. I'm very tired of every post that's supposed to affirm my identity always degrading the other. I'm tired of being an other in a group of others.

EDIT: Obviously any aspec can and will relate to this post but I'm specifically talking about the erasure of lesbian asexuality and gay asexuality in general and how despite there being a rightful push for destigmatising gay desire, gay ace desire isn't seen as real or it's seen as lesser. This isn't an aroace post it's an ace lesbian one please don't remove that.