#one day ill finish his tags uwu

[catch-the-wind]

when reader is sick hc's p2

PART 2 IS FINISHED WHOO

here's a link to part 1 uwu

so i'm still brainrotting over this and i would like to date almost every character rn~ i probably won't add more to this unprompted but if anyone wants a part 2 just shoot me an ask! <3

tags: gn!reader, xiao x reader, zhongli x reader, ningguang x reader, beidou x reader, kazuha x reader, amber x reader, keqing x reader, venti x reader, scaramouche x reader, thoma x reader

xiao

this man is so awkward goodbye

he’s really popping into the kitchen of wangshu inn like mr. smiley yanxiao i need an order of almond tofu and uhh whatever the hell it is sick people eat

asks cloud retainer if there’s a medicinal thing she’s created and hey can you fix my s/o

meanwhile his s/o is like xiao- xiao- XIAO- it’s a COLD i’ll SURVIVE, stop leaving me to find solutions and just come cuddle

so xiao cuddles <3 he’ll read to his partner but it’s likely he’s also just sitting there in silence holding his s/o

he likes the companionship, doesn’t talk much. comfy silence all around

his partner probably falls asleep on him at some point but he’s okay with it

he probably watches his partner while they rest and he’s super frowny because he hates seeing them in pain :(

but also the gentle forehead kisses while his partner rests <3

he tells zhongli that he needs time to be with his s/o while they’re ill. he makes it sound like his partner is dying which is...overdramatic but also he just wants to dote on them and make sure they’re okay

he asks verr goldet what things a sick person might want while his partner rests and then he tries to kinda sorta subtly ask for help getting them

tries to dote on his partner subtly but he’s so grumpy all the time LOL

n e ways he gives his partner smooches and cuddles and that’s all that matters uwu

zhongli

he doesn’t even have to really say it to hu tao, she just knows he’s about to ask for a few days off. he does ask, ofc bc he’s following the protocols of social etiquette

he goes to his partner’s home or they’re in his for the entire time they’re sick

has a shopping list of foods for a sick person, also gets tea

has no mora to purchase anything on his shopping list so he hits up tartaglia LMAO

tartaglia comes w zhongli just to visit zhongli’s s/o

hu tao also comes to visit zhongli and co but he’s so wary of her because is she about to pull a prank- really she just brings him some tea he likes and wishes his s/o well <3 she probably sings to them too but it’s a little creepy if you listen to the lyrics LOL

this man is not reading his partner stories, they’re getting histories, pov morax. he knows so many little details that are lost in time but are kept safely in his memories

the man works out, tell me otherwise. he may choose his own body and he knows he has cake but the man works out and trains. he’s a god of WAR and he keeps himself in good shape. n e way he works out in the living room or backyard while his s/o is sick and he trains w just a shirt and pants and he’s so pretty aHEm i think my asthma is acting up again hang on

okay but muscles rippling and you can see it through the clothes that aren’t even that tight BUT BRO WHY ARE YOU GRUNTING SO MUCH PLEASE NO ONE ELSE DOES

would probably get his partner toys and such and one of them is a little dragon <3 give it smooches every day

he’s distracted when he answers hu tao or the adepti because he’s thinking ab his partner instead

ningguang

the frown on her face when she finds out PHEW

she takes her partner’s temperature with the back of her hand and she’s all frowny all day. ganyu is lowkey concerned bc what’s the matter with lady ningguang-

her partner stays in ningguang’s home and she’s working from home for a while <3 there are millelith guards and members of the qixing popping into her home office and even beidou once or twice. bei is also worried ab ning’s partner, but she’s doing the hearty slap on the back and the “get well soon!”

ningguang ordering food from wanmin and xiangling personally delivering it <3 xiangling and guoba are both showing up with some hot soup and guoba is there for cuddles pls he’s so cute

ningguang will read to her partner, probably tells them about her day and entertains small talk until they fall asleep

she cooks some of her qiankun mora meat and tries to make her partner soup <3 the millelith and the qixing have never seen their tianquan in a kitchen working before but she would only ever do it for the people she loves

keqing is in the corner quietly shipping while munching golden shrimp balls goodbye

i think ningguang respects ganyu too much to force her to run around for stuff but ganyu probably likes ning’s partner enough to do it anyway

ning and cuddles and temple kisses and she won’t give her partner smooches on the lips :( but she’s soft for them so they get cheek kisses and spooning them to sleep

beidou

she stays at her partner’s place while they’re sick because the crux might make them feel seasick instead

but she goes back and forth to the crux to get her things and take care of business and such. her crew probably loves her partner so they have things for bei to bring back <3

bei doesn’t even leave her partner’s town but she’s got sango pearls, cecilias, qingxin, cor lapis jewelry, dendrobiums (even though those are like. blood flowers. they’re pretty it’s fine) and many many fruits

xiangling comes by with food for bei and co and sticks around to hear beidou telling her partner stories about her time at sea

beidou is. she’s so buff okay. she carries her partner in and out of the room and to the living room or kitchen or brings everything to her partner and you can see how defined her muscles are bye i’m in love with her

we already know bei learned to cook a little bit from xiangling but beidou is absolutely learning to cook more while her partner is sick. xiangling is there giving her cooking lessons while beidou’s partner watches <3 bei with that look of concentration and she’s so quick with the knives too i’m- okay but her spoonfeeding her partner?? *chef’s kiss* ;)

beidou puts too much pepper in a dish and it deffo clears sinuses LMAO but she tried and it actually does taste very good if you can handle your spice 🤷‍♀️ i cannot so find me with a gallon of milk later

n e ways beidou cuddles her partner to sleep and falls asleep as soon as she knows they’re resting <3 many cuddles and many kisses, even if they insist not to because cooties will get u sick bei 🥺

visits bubu’s pharmacy to get her partner’s medicine herself but also has remedies from other places too! zhongli deffo helps her with some other gifts for convalescents so it’s historically, traditionally and socially acceptable

kazuha

is so worried omg

wherever his ass is, he’s going to his partner as soon as he finds out they’re sick. he’s so frowny and worried it’s almost cute but also,,,kazu it’s a cold, it’s FINE

he goes to collect qingxin and sweet flowers and stuff himself and makes his own poultices and soups and such <3

he shows up at his partner’s home with arms and buckets of flowers and herbs as soon as he possibly can. bei understands if he has to go tho, she gives him leave uwu

makes his partner soup and dried fish and gives them many smooches <3 they are not allowed out of bed LOL they just have to stay there and wait for him to dote on them

many many cuddles and smooches. he plays leaves and grass and recites poems for them he’s so cute <3 sigh, this man plays grass and i’m out here simping

also comes bearing gifts from wherever he was last tho. if he was on the crux, he’s probably got gifts from beidou and the crew even if they don’t really know kazu’s partner, they just know he’s happy and that’s what matters. if he’s not on the crux, his boss probably gives him leave and a gift or smth even if it’s just like a tea or a bottle of wine or smth

he’ll cuddle and be a blanket. but he’s also got fabrics that beidou picked up in inazuma and he uses that as a blanket for his partner <3

will tell his s/o stories of his childhood, his time wandering, his time with the crew, his work. anything they want to know or have questions about, he’ll tell them.

forehead kisses, temple kisses, holding his partner’s hand and pressing a kiss to the back of their hand ugh i love him

deffo gets sick because he can’t deny his partner smooches on the lips smh. and then it’s his partner’s turn to play nursemaid

the crew from the crux probably drops by to check on kazoo man and co. they bring some regional delicacies and blankets and their best cold remedies with a slap on the back for kazu and a gentler pat for his partner. like w ningguang’s partner, bei probably gives kazu’s s/o a hearty slap but it’s not enough to hurt them

anyway i’m in love with him

amber

she’s so worried she’s such a sweetie omg

she goes to her partner immediately and fusses over them before they have to gently tell her that they’re fine

she goes to collect sweet flowers and stuff and goes to ohm, albedo and barbara for help making medicines and such

doesn’t want to leave her duties unattended to but jean also knows that amber wants to be with her s/o so she tells amber that she has fewer duties for her <3

jean tells kaeya to go make sure amber is doing okay and doesn’t need help or anything so he drags ohm, diluc, albedo and lisa too LOL

lisa was planning on going anyway, she just used diluc to carry her books w this opportunity <3 albedo is just treating amber’s partner w meds and potions and things and lisa takes a peek at that too

she’s so sad she doesn’t have ohm’s super cold skin so she can’t be a human cooling pack for her partner </3 but she gives them many smooches on cheeks and foreheads and temples

barely resists giving her partner kisses on the lips bc she still wants to go to work but also wants to give her partner what they need and sigh. it’s a struggle for amber

she wears pajamas and cuddles with her s/o <3

cooks her partner some (fully cooked!!) meals, not her specialty steak. but she makes soup and goes to good hunter and gets good hot food there too

keqing

wants to take some time off to help her partner feel better but also doesn’t want to leave work. ningguang probably sends her home at some point because she’s fretting and working and stop feeling so bad keqing, you have sick days

she still goes to work but she’s just taking marginally shorter days sigh, she goes home early instead but brings work home so she can do it while sitting with her partner

wears leisure clothes when at home with her partner but the fact that she has clothes she doesn’t use for work is shocking LMAO the cat ears stay tho ;) catgirl always

ganyu comes by with keqing’s work, some wanmin takeout and a card and gift for her partner <3

xiangling hears that keqing is home with her partner while they’re sick and brings food over to keqing’s. she’s got extra golden shrimp balls for keqing. AND AGAIN. GUOBA CUDDLES ❤️❤️❤️

keqing feels so bad for not doing as much work, she’s making herself almost as sick as her partner </3

ningguang comes over one night with beidou while keqing is doing work in bed while her partner is resting and she sees keqing stressed as all hell. she just gives keqing some food and tells her to actually rest. soft!ning and bei being moms god i love them

okay but keqing tucking her partner in with a sweet kiss before retreating to her work in the corner, the lamps turned to the lowest they can possibly be because keqing refuses to leave her beloved but can’t not do work

keqing trying to cook food for her partner that isn’t meant specifically for survival but for taste is so cute. she’s trying to cook golden shrimp balls and soup and stuff and she’s not bad at it! she took a single night of giving her s/o hot tea and some wanmin soup before she learned the whole cookbook so she can be the one to cook for them <3

venti

he brings his partner wine u cannot tell me otherwise

he goes to diluc’s. not the tavern but straight up dawn winery and asks diluc if he can get a bottle of wine for his s/o and please please please he’ll go fight some of those slimes for you, please? with the big 🥺 and staying outside diluc’s window to beg bye

diluc just gives him the wine with a glare but won’t make venti do the commission <3 venti legit says “thank barbatos” and gives diluc an ~ehe~ before he gets ready to glide away. he turns around and asks diluc if he’s sure he can’t do the comm but diluc just glares at him all broody~

diluc comes by to check on venti’s partner too bc where does venti live- venti is just camping out at his partner’s place for now and feeding them and giving them wine and diluc just kinda goes a little pink but glares while he says “get well soon” and leaves a windwheel aster from near the winery

venti makes soup and many vegetable/fruity foods because “they’re good for you! have some wine with that ehe”

jean comes by at some point with barbara to check on venti and co. they’ve got other foods and some hydro healing for venti’s partner <3

ohm comes over to see his friend and brings him some medicines, food and wine. he gets to witness the anemo god get all soft and squooshy for his s/o it’s so sweet

he uses anemo to entertain his partner with some gentle breezes playing through leaves <3 but he also plays his lyre for them and gives them smooches in between and during songs because he’s a god ofc he isn’t gonna get sick, pay the bard with kisses. and where’s his gratuity :( 😗

he doesn’t read to his s/o but he does tell them stories with a musical accompaniment. sometimes his partner will fall asleep so he just smiles so softly and tucks them in and continues playing his lyre at the window while they sleep <3

but also brushing his partner’s hair back and giving them a kiss on the forehead please i love my beloved kinnie

n e ways venti forehead smooches and playing the lyre for his s/o <3 no cough meds ehe, just dandelion wine and whatever ohm gave him (that was, in fact, the cough medicine)

scaramouche

bro this dude looks like he CANNOT be assed but he really cares <3<3

his work schedule doesn’t change but he’s going to his s/o’s home super often with soup and food and medicine and extra blankets

even to his partner, scara looks broody but he always looks like that LOL

tartaglia finds out where scara is going and he brings food and toys and stuff too <3 scara later has to read one of the kids books tartaglia brought and he refuses to voices but it’s very sweet anyway

scara probably asks sandrone if his doctor brother can get him some good cold medicine but would never admit that he asked ohm for help LOL. ohm shows up anyway and finds out <3

can and will cook soup but that’s all you’re getting from him. the takeout he brought is most definitely not something he made, no sir’am he would never do something as soft as cook for them. soup doesn’t count, it’s oboiling water with some added flavor, shut up tartagalicious he’s not soft

will give his partner kisses only after he thinks they’re asleep. refuses to give them any affection besides a headpat or two and maybe one hug when he shows real concern. his partner isn’t quite yet asleep one time and then feigns sleeping when they hear scara’s whispered “i love you” and he presses a kiss to their forehead 🥺❤️

he takes off his hat inside the house but will go around with a blanket around his shoulders to mock his partner smh. the blanket is on his head like a hood and he fake sniffles with an almost derisive laugh but he gives his partner a real smile at the end <3

9/10 times will never admit that he’s soft unless it’s a Very Serious Moment but he’s a squishy dood for his s/o and his s/o only

will not read or sing to his partner but he’ll sorta cuddle if they ask very nicely and many times. it’s just kind of him sitting next to them and they kind of have to muzzle before he’ll move his arm for his own comfort LMAO

will bring his partner gifts and food, a few flowers but he’ll just claim he’s delivering it from someone else with a look of fake disgust </3 maybe like two of those are actually from other ppl and not him

when his partner is actually feeling really sick, he won’t be a big smol meanie and he actually looks so concerned~ his partner means a lot to him and he doesn’t want them to feel sick or in pain so he’ll cuddle them unprompted and rub their back, run his hand thru their hair, soft forehead and temple kisses and “i’m here, baby” and “i love you” and falling asleep with his partner tucked under his chin <3 he’s actually so sweet bye 😭

thoma

thoma feels so bad when his partner is sick. it isn’t even his fault but he feels so bad because he wants to protect them, even from tiny little germs 😭 i’m sorry u can’t be my immune system thoma it’s FINE

he asks to take off work and ayaka just kinda sighs but smiles and waves a hand to dismiss him bc yes ofc you can, simp

ayato just laughs when he sees this LMAO BYE

thoma’s partner stays at his home, in his bed or a guest room (idk if he has his own place or stays w the kamisatos as their literal live-in maid but anyway)

his partner gets his care, any doctors or caretakers around ritou, the medic from the crux, the kamisato family doctor- this man is using some of his favors for medicine and then cuddling his s/o, ugh i want to date him sm

both kamisatos come by with some food for thoma and co but poor ayato can’t even keep his grin contained, poor thoma is conditioned to be nervous ab what ayato feeds him LOL

he’s cooking for his partner, legit gives them a list of options and an “anything you want, my love?”

cuddles his s/o even tho they might protest but it takes like 0.2 seconds to stop protesting bc that man is comfy

tells his partner stories about what it was like back home in mondstadt and his journey to inazuma and why he’s there as well as his stories about all the different kinds of people he’s met

taroumaru coming w kozue to the kamisato estate to get some hot tea to thoma 🥺 and the cuddles and nuzzles from this great doggo for thoma before he turns to his partner too 😭 straight up jumps in the bed and licks their faces a little before nuzzling in for a hug

n e way thoma gives a lot of hugs and kisses and cuddles and i think he’s hella touchy-feely and misses home and treasures his partner even more because of it

my beautiful red shield ❤️

[leejungchans]

— juliet on kingdom (episode 6).

juliet’s masterlist

from may 6’s episode

note: read the tweets from the bottom up 💕 keep in mind that this contains spoilers in case you want to watch the episode first :3 more under the cut bc i also went a tiny bit overboard with this 💀

— juliet’s outfit;

disclaimer: the blurring of faces in my outfit collages is in no way meant as a form of disrespect, the sole purpose is to put the focus on the hairstyle and there is absolutely no ill intent. thank you for understanding!!

when they were deciding on the groups for round 3, juliet was so happy they ended up choosing stray kids and btob

right after announcing that decision she immediately went to felix and gave him a big hug :((

but we came here to talk about the sports day 🤩

let’s make one (1) thing clear: juliet is here to make friends 😇

B U T she is also an ateez member, aka she is very competitive 💀

this is the same person who refused to sleep when playing the mafia game which was partly the reason for why it got banned from their dorms

probably texted felix the night before like “ily bestie but if we ever have to go head-to-head tmr ur going D O W N”

she said 🔥👄🔥

someone collect her please

ngl she was kinda jealous of skz’s pink outfits bc they looked so cute in them :(((

strawberry kids pls 🥺🥺🥺🥺

but her outfit was also adorable like what :((((

THE BUCKET HAT 🥺

this was also the tiniest she’s looked on kingdom since she always wore boots with some form of platforms for the performances :c

ateez and stray kids’ tables were next to each other so she finally had the opportunity to interact more with the others and not just chanlix!! (´｡• ᵕ •｡`)

pretty much became besties with jisung, changbin and jeongin after that day and also became friends with peniel 🤩🤩

there were still a lot of lixliet moments!!!! even in the background you could see them just chilling and having fun 🥰🥰

also bonded with changmin (from tbz, not the mc ahshjws😭) over liking horror movies and stuff

“you have a chUCKY DOLL??? CAN I SEE IT????? DO YOU HAVE A PHOTO??????? 🤩”

not them cooing over photos of his chucky doll like it’s a baby/pet photo 💀

ateez and the boyz: 👁👄👁 should we be afraid orrr...?

hongjoong, in the distance: you can admire it but don’t you dare bring one home

okay the vaulting competition ✨

while watching sf9 go she was like “:ccc but i’m already shorter than the first level (1.7m)” 💀

she got really shy when changmin read that she has 10 years of ballet experience uwu

changmin, jokingly: oh~ she’s shorter than the box already

juliet: ☹️☹️🥺🥺

changmin: whdjgjwhd sorry sorry sorry 😭

eunkwang: hey!!!! don’t make the baby sad!!!!!!!

she killed it!! mostly bc of her flexibility as she could lift her legs high enough to not touch the box!!

she made it past 2.2m so that’s pretty cool 🤩

eunkwang: maybe it has to do with being born in australia and being around kangaroos

gave the cameras a 🥰✌️🕺🏻😚 after every successful jump

everyone else being her biggest hypemen 😌 the privilege smh

okay but one time as she was running up to the box her hat flew off and she went “nooooo” in tiny and ran back to get it

literally everyone on set went 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 uwu

even the judge/referee laughed 😭

you know how people are like “hold my xxx”

that was juliet but with her bucket hat 💀💀

for her last attempt at 2.3m she uhhh... kinda body-slammed right into the box and knocked it over so they both fell onto the mat 🤕🤕

cue yunho, wooyoung, chan and minhyuk who immediately rushed up to her to see if she was okay :(

the others were like “is she okay???? :c”

ngl it hurt quite a bit but she was also very giggly bc she didn’t expect herself to make it that far

but after the adrenaline wore off she definitely felt the pain :(

so they had to vote for the visual king right

mnet was like ok juliet u can vote for the visual king but they can’t vote for u bc we don’t wanna start anything so u can be the visual queen and win by default 😄

“should i be insulted that they made me win by default 😅😅😅”

yes juliet actually said that on camera and they left it in 💀💀

she still took the selfie and mnet put hers up on the board with everyone else’s but with a little crown over hers that said ‘visual queen’ 💀💀💀💀💀

she was pretty embarrassed by that ngl but sigh what else can she do 😔

hyunjae, pointing to the tiny crown over juliet’s selfie: ohhhhhh does this mean we can’t vote for juliet?

eric: if we could she’d probably win by a landslide

sir we caught u in 4k 👁👁

when seonghwa said he thought felix was cute and wanted to adopt him as a little brother though 🥺

juliet went (◕‿◕) and immediately dragged him over to felix like “OI MATE HERE’S YOUR NEW FRIEND SEONGHWA”

Little Miss Indecisive makes a reappearance bc whO SHOULD SHE VOTE FOR?????

“can i vote for someone not on the show?”

she didn’t actually say that don’t worry

she ended up voting for minhyuk!!!

mostly bc she genuinely thought he was really cool but also bc they were far apart enough in age that people would be less likely to spread rumours

it do be like that sometimes :/

“minhyuk-sunbaenim was very charismatic in their performance from last round, and he was so cool just now during the vaulting competition so i’m going to vote for him!”

she did write a tiny disclaimer on her paper slip that said “everyone is handsome!! <3” though 🥺

WHEN FELIX PLACED 2ND IN THE VISUAL KING THINGY

biggest hypewoman

“YEAHHH FELIX THAT’S MY CUTE BESTIE RIGHT THERE EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LOOK AT HIM!!! FELIX VISUAL KING!!!!! SO TRUE BESTIE!!!!!!!!!”

hwjdbwjjs before they announced minhyuk as first the mcs asked juliet who she voted for and she was so shy when she said she voted for him 😭😭😭

she didn’t take part in the balloon snake tag game and the relay bc she was pretty exhausted from the vaulting (and also bc the boys told her not to bc they could tell she was still slightly in pain after she slammed into the box 🥺)

so instead she became everyone’s designated cheerleader :3

when wooyoung came first in the relay she was so proud!!!!

right after he crossed the finishing line she ran up to him and tackled him in a big hug :ccc

then she went up to eunkwang and asked if he was okay bc he fell during the relay :((((

in conclusion she had so much fun that day and was happy to make even more frens 🥰

— fan reactions;

a/n: this episode was so fun 😭 pls the vaulting game was so funny to watch ahdjjwjs but they all did so well???? i wouldn’t even make it past the first level so idk how minhyuk and chan both managed to go over 2.3m 😭 tbz were also so good at it though???? pls the way juyeon and changmin made it look so easy 👁👄👁 also eric was out for blood in the balloon snake tag game ahjshwjsb we stan 🤩 let me know what you think!! your support really means a lot to me and is what keeps me motivated so thank you all sm 💕💕

[quirklessidiot]

Title: coward :: epilogue Pairing: Y/N x Miya Atsumu Genre: angst, romance, and very slow burn [ex to lovers au] Warnings: Cursing, alcohol, mentions of unprotected sex, unplanned pregnancy, heavy mentions of abortion, and brief mentions of trauma

notes:

we’ve finally reached it guys! the end :”> this story has been one of the things i’m very much proud of. From this chapter onwards, it’s all just fluff and well Atsumu and Y/N content. thank you for sticking around despite the slow burns and see you on the side stories and the drabbles. ill be accepting eight drabbles for this story and it’ll be open after all the side stories are complete, uwu.

previous    masterlist  [ ss;; one, two, three, four ]

“...I wonder how you put them to bed.”

“They usually sleep immediately after I give them a glass of milk.” You blinked, looking up from your paperwork, “Did they give you a hard time again?”

“They chunked a pillow at me and that started a pillow fight.”

Soft laughter filled the room and Atsumu felt his heart soften at the sound of that, such a beautiful laugh you had. 

It’s been a year since that confrontation but it feels so surreal whenever he wakes up to see you lying next to him, snuggled on his chest or the kids suddenly barging into the room to catapult themselves to bed with you two.

Him, you, children. 

A family.

“Are you not going to sleep yet?”

“No,” You breathed, shifting through paper works,“I have to finish this if I want to watch your game next week.”

“Can I lay on your lap then?”

“We have a very big bed.” You deadpanned, you were still stoic and blank as ever but comparing to before, you were more open to him with your emotions and thoughts. Albeit, he didn’t know much about why you ran away -  Daiki says to give you some time -  or what happened with your family, he doesn’t mind because he promised he’d wait and be patient with you. 

Atsumu even suggests that if you can’t talk to him about it, he’d willingly look for good psychiatrists around the area to help with your trauma. The sessions seem to be going well so far, albeit it was slow, you were finally taking the proper steps to heal.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Atsumu grinned childishly and situated himself on your lap. Unknowingly, you’d start playing with his hair. He suddenly feels like he’s about to doze off by the domestic gesture and the familiar sound of your breathing but he is immediately awoken by the small voice of yours.

“Do you want to know why I never introduced you to my family?” you suddenly asked, his eyes slowly turned towards you yet you continue to play with his hair nonchalantly as if you weren’t talking about a heavy topic, “Our situation was a lot like my parents. I was born when my okaasan was in the middle of studying medicine and my otosan was a law student.”

Atsumu remains quiet as he listens to your story.

“They were both from very rich families with promising futures, they dated, they were happy until I happened…” You paused, continuing to play with his hair, “Okaasan wasn’t able to finish her course and she got depressed because of that, her family had turned her back on her. So she begged otosan to marry her even if he didn’t want to so that she could finish her degree and return to her family.”

You continue your story; telling him everything about how your father fell out of love with your mother, how scared you were of your mother growing up, how she quit being a doctor because she was an alcoholic and almost sued for drinking on the job, and how you came to the realization that you weren’t supposed to be born when you were only eight years old, “...that night we met at the frat party was the day of my otosan’s wedding to his mistress, they had called out how the previous wedding and me was a mistake as a joke but it still kind of stinged.” You confessed, “I didn’t know what I’d do if I hadn’t met you that night.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice was soft, comforting even and it made you smile because despite his rather loud attitude, he understood you very well and was very patient with you.

He’s empathetic and it makes you wonder why you even ran away in the first place, maybe Daiki was right that night seven years ago, maybe you should’ve told him and stayed with him.

“Whenever I was with you back then, you didn’t make me feel that way so I didn’t want to spoil it or destroy that feeling. I didn’t want you to see me in that light.” You divulged, recalling the memories you had with him, “I felt like I was supposed to be there with you. You were a reminder that it was alright to be alive. That I wasn’t a mistake.”

Comfortable silence fills the air as he takes it all in.

Atsumu takes a hold of your hand that’s playing with his hair and gives it a comforting peck, “Was that also why you couldn’t tell me back then that you were pregnant?”

“You were being scouted for the jackals that time and I was scared we’d end up like my parents because I disrupted your dreams.” You ran your hands through his hair again, playing with the blonde strands, “I didn’t want the kids yet at the same time I couldn’t abort them because they were yours.It was very confusing.” 

“Would you...Would you have pushed through with it? With the abortion?”

“Probably.” you blinked, recalling that moment you were at the clinic,you recalled the feeling of nervousness as you waited for them to call your name,  “With the past I had, I doubt I would’ve made a good mother. Would you have hated me if I had done it?”

“No. I don’t think I would.I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love those brats, I love this family but at the end of the day, it would’ve been your choice.” He replies softly, drawing small circles on your hands, “It would’ve been better if you went up to me and told me though, at least I would’ve been there.”

“Well, in the end, I didn’t push through. I couldn’t do it. They were yours as much as they were mine and I couldn’t let that go after breaking off with you.” you paused, “I also told myself that they’d never feel that way, that they’d never feel as if they were born out of a mistake.”

“And you did a damn good job at it.” He complimented, “You placed your own okaasan to shame.” 

“You placed my otosan to shame too…” You smiled softly, suddenly a question popped in your head, you might as well ask it now since the timing seemed to be better than ever, “Would you like to get married?”

Atsumu’s eyes immediately widen at what you said and he sits up, “What the hell, Y/N? I should be the one asking that!” He loudly exclaims and you cover his mouth to muffle his voice.

“The kids are asleep.” You choke back a laughter, shushing him, “And I think it should be me the one who should ask for your hand, after all the shit I put you through-”

The blonde setter takes your hands off his mouth and cuts you off, “First of all, that was my choice. Second of all, how many times do I have to tell you that we were both at fault there? We’re doing a damn good job now. Mind you,” he immediately scrambles out of the bed right after before you could say anything else and looks through his sock dresser, he takes out a small box and your eyes widen, is that what you thought it was?

“I was supposed to give it to you when I officially got in the jackals back then.” Atsumu sheepishly confessed, “I couldn’t throw it away after you left, it was the little hope I guess that you’d come back. I mean, I’ll get you a new one now since i got-”

“I didn’t think you were the sappy type.” You glazed, cutting him off, completely enamored by the gesture, “You’re very cheesy.”

“Only to you.”

You scrunch your nose, faking a disgusted look but Atsumu knows better than that and just crawls back in your arms and gives you a chaste kiss on the lips that you reciprocate almost immediately. It’s slow, languid, and passionate. Something people wouldn’t expect from someone like him.

“Don’t bother buying a new one, I think I like this one better.” You smiled, pulling away as you hold out your hand in which he happily puts on the simple band. He looks into your eyes again, the eyes he loved looking at since he was nineteen. The eyes that were filled with so much emotion that it always contrasted your face that was void of emotions. The same eyes that he dreamed his kids (and they did) to have when he asked you that one night if you wanted to have a family.

“I’m in love with you.” you break the silence.

You never said those words out loud before to him but hearing it now, after all that you’ve both been through. It’s worth it.

He’d do it all again just to be in this moment.

“I’m very much in love with you too.” He grins, leaning back in for another kiss.

Finally…

Finally he was able to catch up with you.

taglist [officially closed, if you guys want to be removed for the side stories, feel free to tell me hehe ilyasm and thank you once again, coward wouldn’t be possible without all you people + other readers]

@fortheloveofiwaizumi ;  @svtbitch  ; @kiyoomile ; @lovedanii ; @juno-multifandom ; @gyubit17 ; @saeranoppa ; @nixxona ; @kyomihann @shorttstackk ; @intoomuchfandoms ; @yammmers ; @mx-minxx @itsmattsunshinehere ; @missingmystogan ; @volleybloop ; @imcravingyou ; @yams-wants-that-booty ; @liathachcapricious ; @pinknugget @seikamuzu ; @marigoldthoughts ; @sillykittt ; @baejinoffcl ; @alluring-akaashi ; @bnhasstuff  ; @intheawks ; @bokuakadaily ; @agaassi ; @yams046  ; @dope-squish ; @chrisrue15 ; @vermillionwaves ; @demursv1ogs ; @just-snog-already ; @angmarwitch ; @angmarwitch ; @simpingonothers ; @woo-youngs ; @cowward ; @chaelysian ; @sempiternal-amour ; @jungshookmeup ; @jovialnoise ; @karlitabi-rrito ; @iwaizluv ; @sugarandsoft ; @tspice283 ; @ohshirabu ; @syzygymai ; @volleybloop ; @oikaw-ugh​ ; @pockytokyo ;  @differentballooncollection​ ;  @keniloveshaikyuu ; @turquoiselace​ ; @playboygeniusphilanthropist​ ;   @keijislut​​ ; 

@misosamu  @Etherynaw  @ryaaaax @allysasteaparty   @mikaashi  @brownie0food @ph10xy  @Chocolaterumble [hi, i can’t seem to tag u guys, i think you need to open your tags uwu]

[krabstick32]

MWAHAHA I'VE BEEN WAITING (✷‿✷) Can I ask for a Giyuu who decided he wants to try befriending the newest Pillar since she's pretty quiet (and also pretty cute UwU haha jk) but whenever he tries to come forward and talk to her she either doesn't respond or runs off looking embarrassed. Finally he asks one of the Pillars for help and they sort of break it to him that Reader just lost her voice in a battle before being a Pillar and is very shy because she doesn't know how to talk to people. Thanks!

Demon Got Your Tongue?

Requested by: @trueblueoceaneyes​​

Pairing: Giyuu x Reader  Synopsis: Giyuu wants to make a friend. Who knows, maybe you’ll end up as more.

Tags/warnings: I don’t think there are any, but reader isn’t able to talk (i’m very sorry if I wasn’t able to portray that properly!) and there are also references to the Giyuu Gaiden—but its not necessary to read that to understand this

A/N: WAAAA Thank you so much for being my first request girl!! As expected, your ideas are just *chef’s kiss* magnifique. ily, hope i did your request justice and that you like it uwu. 

I had so much fun writing Giyuu just being an awkward dork, and the bonus - especially the bonus. (also, pls excuse any mistakes, i feel like i passed over some) Anyway, please enjoy!!

edit: so i reread it, and there were some mistakes. apologies to the people who have read this prior the edit—the edits are very minor, but again, i am sorry _:(´□`」 ∠)_

Giyuu was a man who valued his silence and solitude.

From the start, he made it pretty obvious to the other Pillars that he wanted to be left alone and wanted nothing to do with them. And from that sort of attitude, they were able to conclude that while he was an amazing swordsman, he preferred to work alone, go on missions alone, and just generally be alone.

They knew next to nothing about the man, apart from his breath style and stoic personality—and he preferred it that way. Giyuu knew that getting close to others was a troublesome affair, and it always ended up in someone getting hurt. 

When he saw you though, it’s like he knew that the cold facade he put up was a lie.

Normally, Pillar meetings only happened at the end of every other month for regular reports and for the others to catch up and to exchange information. This time, however, Oyakata-sama called for them to introduce a new member that would stand among them as a new Pillar. 

Oyakata-sama introduced you as he did the others, stating your name, and your position as the Thunder Pillar, as well as telling you the names and positions of the current Pillars.

You seemed to be more on the quiet side, with only a soft, somehow strained smile painting your face set with admittedly attractive features. A young woman who was most likely around the age of nineteen or twenty, with a slightly hunched frame, and a death grip on the hem of your (f/c) haori sleeve. You seemed shy and nervous, but all of them knew that you must have possessed extraordinary skills to be able to reach the rank of a Pillar.

Giyuu stamps down an odd itch to stand and walk over to you, staying still as Oyakata-sama calls out his name for you.

Your introduction ended with a kind smile, and a question from the master. He asked if you were willing for a demonstration of your skills, to which you agree with a shy smile and a soft nod.

Unsheathing your sword, you took a deep breath—a loud whistling sound that seemingly shook the air and shocked the Pillars. For the shy woman they saw mere minutes ago to make such a loud sound with just breathing was a curious sight… but then suddenly, you were gone, only faint images of you visible all around the Ubuyashiki’s garden as you performed all six forms of the Thunder Breath.

You were quick and agile, possibly the fastest among all ten of you.

Everyone could hear the loud roll of thunder, but a quick look at the sky showed them that there was no storm—only you performing in the clearing, a dance so graceful and deadly. Despite having a hard time catching your movements, everyone was absolutely mesmerized by the sheer power you displayed, accompanied by the palpable static in the air. 

When you finished, everyone was staring with large eyes—even Giyuu was a little slack-jawed at your performance. You blushed with the weight of everyone’s stare while the master thanked you and urged you to take a seat.

You didn’t want to force your presence or insert yourself between anyone, so you resolved to take your place at the edge of the line-up. It was a tough choice though because one side had two men who seemed to scowl at the ground or at you, while the other had a man who looked impassive with blue eyes and black hair that contrasted well with his pale skin.

He seemed like he wanted to be left alone, but you’d rather sit beside him than feel the sharp glares of who you recalled were the Wind and Serpent Pillars on the other side.

Even if you made up your mind, you still flush as you kneel beside the attractive man; Giyuu wonders why his heartbeat seems to pick up.

The meeting didn’t take long, as the sole purpose of it was to introduce you and let everyone get acquainted, so Oyakata-sama ended it without any excess fanfare, taking his leave to allow the ten of you to mingle.

All of the Pillars rushed over to you, and Giyuu noticed how you jumped at their enthusiasm. There wasn’t any ill-intent—they were only eager to meet you, but you didn’t seem to be used to having eight people talk to you all at once, with how your mouth seemed to open and close like a fish.

The Water Pillar really wanted to talk to you for some odd reason, but seeing as how you already seemed extremely overwhelmed, he decided to do that later—maybe once the others let you breathe—and opted to stand by the sidelines. Not a minute later, however, three crows came flying by, one perching on his shoulders, one on Muichirou, and the other on Sanemi.

“Head to the forest by the town up… northeast!” His crow, Kanzaburo, squawked. “By the town northeast, children disappear! children disappear!”

He wasn’t able to hear what the other crows assigned to the Wind and Mist Pillars, but he was a little disappointed. He really wanted to talk to you, for a reason he could puzzle out later, but that would have to happen on another day.

He still had a job to do.

The next time Giyuu sees you is a couple of weeks later at a decently sized town.

He received notice from his crow that there was a demon trying to make this village its territory, which left him where he was now. The sun was out shining brightly, so he was using the time to gather intel by listening around for any mention of strange disappearances or odd sightings. He didn’t want a repeat of what happened to him at that town with the Matagi Hunters and Shinobu, so he stayed within hearing range, acting as inconspicuous as he could with a sword strapped to his side.

From the corner of his eye however, he catches something familiar—a trail of (h/c) hair and (f/c) haori.

Was that…?

Moving at a reasonable pace, he weaves around wandering merchants and people, slightly hoping for any other sign of you. He tried to be as polite as he could in moving around, but it seems that he already lost you once he reached the end of the crowd.

He heaves a heavy sigh after taking a seat on a bench far from the bustle, and the information, but it was about time for a break anyway.

What was it about you?

Why was he so curious to talk to you? Why was he so drawn as to chase after what he thought was you? There was something about you that made him want to get closer, to get to know you, even though he stopped himself a long time ago from forming connections to others.

Was it the strength you displayed? Was it your quiet disposition? Your pretty face?

He hoped he wasn’t as superficial to be drawn by that last one. You were pretty yes and he was willing to admit that, but he hoped that he wasn’t as shallow to want to talk to you for your looks. And yes, you were strong, but so were the other Pillars, and a lot of other demon slayers, but he didn’t feel the same pull to them as he did to you.

Giyuu throws his hands in the air. Making friends and thinking about you was making his head spin. “Focus, Giyuu.” He scolds himself and opens the wrapper of his salmon-filled rice ball.

He was about to take a bite when again, from the corner of his eye, he saw a trail of (h/c) hair and (f/c) haori. Giyuu immediately whirls his head to make sure if it was actually you and calls out before he could think about his actions. “(L/N)-san!”

When you turn around at the sound of your name, you gripped your sword in surprise only to face a pair of familiar blue eyes, and a haori split in two.

Giyuu turns back to his opened rice ball, quickly wrapping it back closed, and stands abruptly, jogging to where you were standing.

“I’m not sure if you remember but, I wasn’t able to personally introduce myself last time. My name is Giyuu Tomioka, and I’m the Water Pillar.” Giyuu wanted to give himself a pat on the back. He sounded literate.

Of course, you remember him. You kind of wanted to say that it was stupid of him to think that he was forgettable. You remember feeling a little disappointed when he left before you had a chance to talk to him. But you immediately squashed down that feeling because you could talk to him now—!

Giyuu pauses, waiting for you to reply as you seem to look for something at your side, but your eyes widen and seem to look at everywhere but him. “Is there anything wrong?” He asks and worriedly watches as your face turns into a deep red.

You raise both your hands in front of you and shake your head, even if there really was something wrong. You start to amble backward—and Giyuu couldn’t see it, but you could feel your palms and your forehead sweating bullets—an apology at the tip of your tongue, that would never be heard.

“(L/N)-san?” At the sound of his voice, you bowed deeply, almost at a ninety-degree angle from the ground. Giyuu was trying to process the reason you were bowing so deeply that he didn’t even realize that you’ve already turned around and scurried out of there.

The Water Pillar was confused out of his wits. He rubs the back of his neck, his eyes blinking and squeezing shut, before ultimately collapsing back at the bench he was sitting on. “Was it something I said?”

Maybe his habit of pushing others away was catching up to him.

The sun sets not long after Giyuu finishes his salmon rice ball.  He pushes his encounter with you at the back of his mind as he places the folded wrapper into his uniform pocket and moves towards the portion of the forest he heard townspeople gossip about. On the way, he could see that people were already closing up shops and walking hurriedly to their homes.

At the edge of the forest, Giyuu feels the tangible difference in the air and tenses up once he senses the demon. The presence felt so thick, that the raven-haired man was itching to cut the air with his Nichirin blade.

This isn’t good.

He fastens his pace and he grips his sword tighter, his heart already pounding a mile a minute despite keeping his stoic expression. It almost felt like the demon was already there at his side, surrounding him with its presence.

He stops at a clearing, a round opening with barely any moonlight seeping through, and stops when he spots his target. He unsheathes his blade and rushes in with his sword held high.

Not even a meter from the demon, he hears a growl, and a hand darts out managing to snag the exposed sleeve of the skin of his face. Immediately, he twists his body into a flip, before landing deftly on his feet, safe from a distance away. He wanted to scold himself for being caught off guard by something he should have easily sensed.

So there were tw- no, now there were three.

As he was moving into a defensive stance, he didn’t notice the two demons regroup and he sure as hell didn’t notice a third one join in.

Giyuu parries an incoming attack and dodges a cheap hit they tried to land. He sees an opening when the three try to surround him, breathing quick and deep as he jumps up and slashes one body into multiple parts.

Water Breathing Fourth Form: Striking Tide!

The head drops with a loud thump, and when two more appear in place as the severed body parts start to disintegrate, Giyuu just wants to groan out loud.

There were now four when there were previously three, and at this point, Giyuu was certain that there were more hiding in between the trees and the blind spots of his vision. He couldn’t stay on the defensive forever, and going on the offensive when there were others left too many openings for his liking.

One of the demons was about to try and swipe a hit while Giyuu was distracted with parrying. The arm was an inch away, but with the roll of thunder and a flash of lightning, the arm previously reaching for him sat torn on the ground.

You rushed into the clearing in a blazing glory once you sensed a demon on your patrol around town. In the heat of the battle, you leave your embarrassment and stand defensively against his back, and in an impulsive thought, Giyuu connects the fact that you might have been sent to the same mission he was on.

Ah, maybe that was why he saw you in town.

You were sent on the same mission; perhaps to cooperate—he did go on missions with the others Pillars at times despite wanting to work alone—but if that was the case, it didn’t explain why you ran from him earlier. Maybe you only realized it now too?

Regardless, he was incredibly grateful you arrived when you did because about fifteen more dropped into the clearing.

One ordinary demon was usually no trouble for demon slayers, but having multiple of them like this was a little trickier. They fought dirty, desperate for survival, and it was so, so easy to make mistakes in the heat of the battle—even for the higher ranked and, in extension, more experienced members of the corps like them.

Having a large group of demons like this was strange though because demons preferred to move alone or at least in smaller groups of two or three, at most six. This is probably the most Giyuu has seen in one place.

The two of you were a blur as an unspoken agreement passed. He’d deal with half, and you would deal with the other, and with that all sorted out, the fight was over in a little less than twenty or so minutes, both your swords being sheathed into its respective scabbards.

Giyuu gulps in a breath of air, his hands over his knees as he wheezes out a few words. “Thank you for the help (L/N)-san, one of them almost got me.”

Your heart beats a little faster—not from the battle but from the soft, relieved smile on Giyuu’s face. Why didn’t he smile more often? He looked absolutely beautiful.

“Oh, are you alright?” His eyes widen at the bleeding cut on your right arm. You almost wanted to laugh, because he looked much worse than you did with bleeding scratches that marred his handsome face. 

A chuckle escapes your lips and you dust off your right hand on the fabric of your uniform, reaching down the pocket of your skirt to pull out a pristine handkerchief. Gently, you press it to his bloody wound, and the warmth from his skin seeping through the fabric felt pleasant against your cool fingers.

You hold it there, discreetly checking over him for any more wounds and time seems to pass by the both of you.

Giyuu swallows nervously. His stomach was flipping around, but he was sure he had no wounds around that area. “(L/N)-san?” 

You seem to snap out of it when he calls your name, your hand flinching away from his face and the handkerchief sticking from the blood. He could see the red rush to your neck and up your cheeks, to the tips of your ears. You looked kind of cute.

He stares at you as you move forward in your odd ninety-degree angle bow, and was about to ask why you were bowing, but only realized too late what you were doing once you ran off. Again.

His old crow perches wearily on his shoulder, seeming to huff before delivering a message Giyuu had already anticipated.

“Pillar Meeting! Pillar Meeting! Arrive three hours before noon!” He was aware that the Pillar Meeting was today. The only reason he wasn’t rushing to get there was that he didn't want to arrive only for it to be canceled, or moved at another time. That would be a waste of time.

“Thank you, Kanzaburo.”

Pillar Meetings usually happened in the daytime, mostly in the morning. Sometimes it’s at high noon, or when dawn breaks, maybe even before the sun sets, but rarely at night. That was when they were on duty after all, and those only happen in the direst of situations.

He arrived just on time. The others were already gathered loosely in the line-up formation they unspokenly kept, making small talk over matters Giyuu couldn’t hear. You weren’t there though. You were most likely late, but that didn’t stop him from letting his shoulders sag in slight disappointment. He was hoping to talk to you before the meeting started.

It was just his luck that you arrived a minute before Oyakata-sama did when he was already making a move to walk over to you.

He swallows down a sigh as he kneels at his spot at the edge of the line-up between Uzui and you. Giyuu liked being at the edge or at the farthest side of any kind of gathering because it always provided him with an opening to leave when he wanted, but with your newfound presence on his left side, he finds himself not minding as much as he thought he would.

The meeting carried on as usual, almost as if you were always there in the first place. One by one, the other Pillars gave their oral reports of the past month, and when Giyuu was done relaying his information, including that mission with you, he was a little surprised when you stood from your position beside him and walked towards the master’s seat when he gave a nod with his comforting smile in your direction.

You reach in your pocket and pull out a pristine roll of paper with the barest mark of black ink bleeding through. It was tied with a red braided cord that the master pulls when you hand it to him with a respectful bow. The master asks one of his children at his side to take it and read the contents.

Giyuu was a little confused. The others didn’t seem to find it odd, he notes when he takes a quick glance at his comrades. But he wonders why you didn’t speak choosing to hand in a written report. He decides to push it out of his mind. It wasn’t his business anyway.

Everything continues on, the meeting ending not long after that. All of the Pillars stood and bowed as Oyakata-sama left with the help of his children, as per usual, but Giyuu has never felt so relieved when the meeting finished as he did now.

The others were already talking among themselves while four of them left for missions assigned directly during the meeting, leaving him, you, Gyomei, Kyojurou, Mitsuri, and Muichirou. Normally, this is where Giyuu would take his leave, with or without the excuse of a mission, but to everyone’s surprise, he stays and walks up to you.

He stops at a respectable distance from you and nods politely at your right arm. “I hope your arm is okay.”

The Pillars pretended that they weren’t listening in (though Muichirou didn’t have to because he was already busy staring at the clouds) and they were doing their best to carry on a half-hearted conversation to keep up with the guise that they were minding their own business.

Your slightly spooked expression morphs into a small smile—Giyuu couldn’t help but think that you had a lovely smile—and your mouth opens, almost on its way to producing a word towards him. He didn’t notice it, but he was leaning a little closer in anticipation of the sound of your voice.

It immediately shuts back down, however, and your cheeks flush a charming shade of red as embarrassment flits across your face. Instead of speaking, you give him a respectful nod, pointing to his bandaged face, and giving a thumbs up. Then you turn back to the others with a small wave of your hand before you’re suddenly gone, your body bowing yet again as you move incredibly fast to the garden gates.

Everyone watches the gates you pushed open swing back close with a creak that sounded all over the garden.

Giyuu wanted to slap himself.

His mind flashes back to the conversation he had with Kyojuro and Mitsuri as he was walking at a bustling street in a village on the way back to his estate. He felt incredibly stupid that he was only able to connect the dots when someone spelled it out for him.

Giyuu, Kyojurou, and Mitsuri sit around the training room of the Love Pillar’s estate.

Giyuu wandered into Mitsuri’s home after he decided to ask for advice, help, anything at all to understand what he was doing wrong. You seemed close to the pink-haired woman—you two were always beside each other before and after meetings after all—and he thought that Mitsuri was nice and cheerful, so maybe asking her for advice about you wouldn’t be so bad.

When Mitsuri opens her door, she’s shocked to see the Water Pillar standing there. “Wah! Tomioka-san!”

“Uh, hello, Kanroji-san,” Giyuu greets awkwardly. “I have a question to ask you.”

“Oh, of course, no problem, come on in! I was about to make some food for us!”

He didn’t account for the fact that Mitsuri might have company over so when he sees Kyojuro after Mitsuri leads him to her training room, it seems that he would have to settle for talking to both the Love Pillar and the Flame Pillar. Oh well, having two opinions was better than one. He hoped that saying was true.

“Oh, Tomioka! Did you come to train? Kanroji and I are just taking a break if you want to spar.” Kyojuro asks when the Water Pillar takes a seat.

“No, I… just wanted to ask for some advice.”

Mitsuri must have heard all the way from her kitchen because not a moment too soon, she barges through the door with three plates in hand piled high with food. “Advice?! Is that related to your question?” Giyuu nods and takes the plate she offered. “Well, ask away—I love these kinds of things!”

He starts by recalling the day of the mission he had with you. How he called out for you to formally introduce himself in the afternoon, how he asked if you were alright in the evening after the battle with nearly twenty demons, and how you ran away from him both times with your tail between your legs. He ends with his painfully one-sided conversation with you after the meeting a few days ago, and the ever-present question of why you keep running away. (But Mitsuri and Kyojuro already knew about that part—Tomioka speaking to anybody on his own volition was a rare sight. Of course, they listened in.)

This was the most Mitsuri and Kyojuro ever heard Giyuu speak, though and they reckon it was the most he’s ever spoken at all. But they brush that off and look at each other, deciding if they should tell him what they thought everyone already knew.

“Well, you see…” Mitsuri plays with the hem of her uniform. “Tomioka-san… (Y/N) lost her voice in a battle with a lower moon. She won and became a Pillar because of it, but…”

By the slight widening of his eyes, they were able to confirm that no, he didn’t know.

Kyojuro draws his brows together, swallowing a bite of food from the plate Mitsuri handed him. “Though, it’s odd that she keeps running away. (Y/N)’s shy—that much is obvious, but she was able to talk to us. She uses this large notepad, almost the size of my arm, but she rarely uses it because she says it’s a bother to carry around.” 

“Maybe she was embarrassed?” Mitsuri hmm’s for a moment at her mentor. She taps a finger on her chin, her head tilted slightly to the side as she suggests. But then she gasps, leaning closer to inspect Tomioka in a new light. “Or maybe she likes you! Wahh~”

“Oh gods,” he says, ignoring the last bit before dropping his head on his hands. “(L/N)-san can’t speak?”

You couldn’t talk.

He felt like the biggest asshole in the entire world and felt absolutely terrible for the many times he expected you to reply to him—that was rude and thoughtless of him. 

Ignorance would never be an excuse for his insensitivity, but It was just like him to mess up this badly the first time he genuinely wanted to talk to his peers.

Though, he could only imagine what you felt.

Banging his head on the wall sounded like a mighty fine idea, but doing that in the middle of a busy street might make people think that he was crazy. Not that he really cared for what people thought of him but that might get him tied up for prison. He still wasn’t over that mission.

On his way back to his estate, he sees a man his age gesturing in strange motions with his hands towards a kid, around eight or ten years old. He watches as the man and the kid form figures with their palms and fingers, letting them move towards their mouth, their chest, parts around their faces, in turns. The Water Pillar has seen it before, but only now, with the revelation he just had an hour prior, did he ever question it. What were they doing with his hands? It’s almost as if they were…

“You need something, Boy?” A lady behind him speaks.

The raven-haired man jolts in surprise, and the voice laughs. He didn’t notice that he was staring, nor blocking the entrance of a shop.

Giyuu turns to find a kind-looking elderly woman, leaning over the stall of her shop watching the kid interact with the man who he presumed was a relative.

“Ah no, I’m sorry.”

She waves off his apology and grins when she notices that she got the attention of the fine-looking young man standing in front of her shop. “It’s amazing, huh? Talking with the use of hands. Pretty useful if I do say so myself.”

Getting out of the way and moving to a polite distance, closer to the shop, Giyuu asks politely, “What are they doing exactly?”

“You must be new around here huh? Explains why I’ve never seen that face.” No, he just didn’t leave in the day that often, even if the village was right down the hill of his estate. “They’re talking, I reckon—‘bout what can’t say for sure. I’ve only caught a few gestures when that little boy drops by.”

“Oh.”

“It’s a shame though, his brother—the young man—can’t speak, but on the bright side, they can communicate at least. Those fancy gestures they’re doing are pretty fascinating, you’d have to admit.” Both of them turn back to the kid and his brother.

“It is.” Giyuu agrees because it is amazing. Talking without the use of voices, only with the use of movements. There was something elegant about the way their hands would move around, how the expressions on their faces seemed to also be included in how they communicated. He found it absolutely mind-blowing that the way they gesture around carries an entire language.

When he turns back to the old woman, only then did he notice her wares and the items on display around the shelves. Maybe he could make it up to you.

“Is this for sale?” He asks, and the woman laughs loudly.

“Of course it is Boy, this is a shop after all.” She ushers him further into her store. She knows that look on his face, and old women like her were always eager to help a young man in love treat his lady right.

You were training in the courtyard of your estate when a loud knock stops you from swinging.

The training sword in your grasp drops unceremoniously as you grab the small towel on your engawa, wiping at your face. You would normally shout that you were going to get the door but there was the issue of your voice, and the Thunder estate was too big…

You try to drown out your negativity by rushing to the door before your visitor left. The door swishes open, and to your complete and utter embarrassment, the Water Pillar was there.

Oh Gods, was he here to call you a total dunce for running away from him?

“Ah, (L/N)-san, sorry to barge in on you but I wanted to a —um… t-talk? Just for a bit. It’ll be quick, I promise.” He sounds nervous—even if his face was still a little blank—but you give him a nod, and timidly move aside to let him in. He says a quick thank you before setting his zori to the side of your entrance.

As you lead him to your engawa, you could feel your nerves start to fray and short-circuit. You gesture for him to take a seat while you point to your home, wordlessly telling him to wait.

When you come back from the kitchen with a tray of tea, you hand him a cup before taking a seat a few feet away from him. You faintly hear his sharp inhale before he turns to you and speaks. “Um, I’m really sorry if I offended you on our past encounters. I didn’t know that you couldn’t… couldn’t speak.”

You were relieved that he didn’t seem to be here to call you out, but you were quick to move and shake your head and your hands from side to side. No, it’s not your fault! you would have said, but you hoped that your actions were enough to speak for you.

“No, it is, I’m really sorry. It was rude and inconsiderate of me, and I hope you could forgive me.” He bows a little, and you were starting to get a little flustered. “I know it’s not much, but I hope you’ll take these as a token of my apology.”

You watch as he fumbles with his pocket, and brings out a nicely wrapped paper bag. Gingerly, you take it when he offers it to you, and wordlessly ask if you could open it.

He nods and you peek into the contents. Inside was a stack of small paper bound together by string and designed with fabric the same pattern as your haori, and a small metal pen set with simple but delicate carvings.

“It’s a small notebook and a fountain pen,” Giyuu explains, rubbing the nape of his neck with his hand. He could feel the skin burning along with his ears. “It’s small enough to put in the pocket of our uniform, so you could bring it around. I thought that you could use it to talk with others, but in hindsight, maybe you already have one of those. You don’t have to use it of course, but it would be nice if you did, but you don’t have to feel obligated to or—!”

A small giggle escapes your lips, and you flip open the pretty notebook he gave you and uncapped the pen, writing down words in your neat script. You show what you’ve written to him, a pink blush coloring your cheeks.

[Thank you, I love it! This is so much easier to bring than a large notepad and a bulky bottle of ink. I’ll be sure to bring it with me always!]

The Water Pillar lets out a breath he didn’t know he’s been holding and his face unconsciously morphs into a small smile, warming his cold facade by a mile. “I’m glad. I could bring you there if you run out of pages. If you’d like.”

The blush deepens as you turn back to the notebook.

[I would like that.]

BONUS:

The Pillars were no longer surprised when you and Tomioka entered the Ubuyashiki’s garden together. It’s been like that for the past couple of meetings, and finally, they were able to get used to the cold, stoic, normally silent Giyuu Tomioka talking to the warm, shy, and more social (Y/N) (L/N). Everyone found it ironic though that the Thunder Pillar who could no longer speak was more talkative than the Water Pillar who could.

These past few meetings have also been different than the first two you participated in. You were more open and seemed to be smiling more. You even showed them the thoughtful gifts Giyuu gave you—though that was more of an accident than anything.

“Oh, (F/N)-chan!” Mitsuri squeals when you habitually pull out the notebook and the pen from your pocket to answer a question Uzui asked you. You were used to using the notebook to talk with others now. “That’s a really pretty notebook! Where did you buy it?”

The answer you were in the middle of writing sits unfinished as you move to answer Mitsuri’s question first.

[Ah, I didn’t get it, Giyuu gave it to me.]

Everyone was paying attention to your little notebook — it was actually really nice of them to be paying such close attention to your words when you couldn’t speak — and their eyes seemed to bug out of their sockets when they read the name ‘Giyuu’.

The Pillars’ heads immediately dart over to the man in question, and Giyuu immediately turns his face to the side, pretending like he wasn’t embarrassed. He wasn’t fooling anyone, with how red his ears appear to be.

Mitsuri inwardly screeches at the Water Pillar’s expression (but Obanai seems to have noticed anyway). She couldn’t keep it in though when she and the others turned back to you, your cheeks painted a charming shade of red.

When you arrived early or had no mission after a meeting, you would even show them a few signs from the new language you’ve been learning. Japanese Sign Language, as you and Giyuu would call it. Sometimes, he would join in if there was one you forgot.

“That’s interesting,” Muichiro says, actually looking at you instead of the clouds.

”I never knew you could talk with your hands!” Kyoujuro looks down at his hands, as he repeats one of the signals you just taught them. “It’s spectacular!”

“Yes, it is.” Shinobu agrees, an idea forming in her head—maybe she could suggest sign language to some of her patients who lost the ability to speak. “You should teach us any more you learn (F/N)-chan. It would be nice if we could talk that way, and I could teach some of my patients too!”

You would pull out your notebook though when you didn’t know how to sign what you had to say.

[It’s all thanks to Giyuu! When we’re both free, we go down together to the village close to his estate and learn from one of the people there. Oh, that’s also the village where he got this notebook for me!]

That was news to them. First, the gift, and now the two of you were together even in your spare time? Though, they had to admit that it was incredibly sweet of him to accompany and learn along with you, even if he didn’t have to. And they also found it cute when he would unconsciously turn to you, touching you gently, and moving your hands to the proper position. But Obanai and Sanemi would never admit that. They would rather fight an upper moon.

Occasionally after meetings, they would spot the two of you standing off to the side. Both of your hands would be moving around, a little too fast for them at times to really analyze what you two were talking about, but there were moments—and Mitsuri would swear on her life with this—where those hands didn’t move.

They would only hold onto each other, calloused thumbs brushing past each other’s knuckles. It was like the two of you were absorbed in your own world.

There was even this one time when she thought she saw Giyuu kiss your forehead. (Later on, you two would explain that you thought no one was looking. You were hiding behind your notebook in embarrassment, while Giyuu’s face was flushed— as red as an apple).

Nobody knew this (well maybe you did — you had a knack for being able to understand Giyuu, with or without the help of signing or speaking), but Giyuu craved for interactions, even if he was successful in making others believe he didn’t. He was glad you saw through him though, and you were glad he let you into his world.

But no, what got their attention wasn't the two of you walking in together, it was your hands—your hands that used to be a few feet apart in constant movement were now all joined and tangled fingers. And what’s more, was that Tomioka was smiling. It was probably at something you said, nothing new, but a closer look told them that he was smiling, because you were holding his hand.

The meeting started later than usual. Not even Oyakata-sama’s presence was enough to stop the questions his cute little swordsmen have been dying to ask the two of you for months.

It was further pushed when Mitsuri screamed looking away from the huddle she and the other pillars were in, pointing to you who just pulled away from kissing Giyuu’s cheek (you two thought you were being discreet). “See? I’m right, now pay up people! And stop calling me crazy!“ 

She was 5,000 yen richer by the time the meeting started, and she fully intended to spend it on sakura mochi.

A/N:  Even if it was in the tags and the ask, I tried to reveal that bit of info as giyuu discovered it, so I hope some of you were still surprised (even just a little!!) when it was revealed that Reader couldn’t talk. Again, I hope you enjoyed, and thank you to @trueblueoceaneyes for the request uwu (requests are still open!!)

[shook-snatched-and-sad]

so i binged a show called ‘the owl house’...

and to say the least, i am OBSESSED! 

(this contains spoilers so don’t read if you haven’t finished the show yet!!)

aside from the fact that i’m a big old lesbian simp for Eda the Owl Lady, i really loved her storyline. it reminds me a lot of my day to day life as someone with a chronic illness. I want to focus on episode 4 ,“The Intruder,” where we learn of Eda’s curse and later episodes where it’s a prevalent point.

in the beginning of the episode eda’s exhausted to the point where king and luz end up carrying her to her bed (nest). she was already tired, but tried to show luz more magic bc she wanted luz to be happy and let her sleep. sometimes when you’re tired and want to lay down you still try to make others happy, and that can be too much for your already sick body. i am guilty of this 10 times over!

she has her elixir, which is almost like pain meds for me and others with chronic pain (or other meds for others in the chronic illness gang). her elixir has a tag reading, “an elixir a day keeps the curse at bay.” if she doesn’t take it, she transforms into something she doesn’t like. and i mean,,,, yeah, it REALLY DO BE LIKE THAT. even tho i’m still trying to find the right medicine for me, i feel like total GARBAGE when i forget to take my meds. i get snappy and irritable and anxious and everything hurts beyond comprehension; that’s all part of my “curse.”

she also took a little while to reveal her curse to luz, and king didn’t even know but has lived with her for a while. some people i’ve known most of my life don’t even know that i sometimes need a cane or that i even have a chronic pain disorder! you don’t want that judgement or others feeling like your condition is too much for them to handle (which is shitty, but people do say this); you can see that eda has had this happen to her time and time again and that it really left a mark on how she feels about trusting others. 

she also doesn’t remember who cursed her, and this fleshes out in my mind a few different ways:

1. it adds to her trust issues. she doesn’t consciously know who did it, so it could be anyone she interacts with and that’s scary. to her it’s traumatic, and she lives with the aftermath of the event everyday

2. not remembering? mega brain fog! sometimes you just have bad days where your brain is so cloudy that you low key forget someone’s name or a simple word to something (i once forgot the word “tv” and it’s technically not even a word). it’s almost like a tip of the tongue type thing. also, the figure kinda looks like fog

3. sometimes you don’t know what causes your illness. i have fibromyalgia and it’s just one of those complicated medical conditions where there is no determined cause for it. trauma? yeah, maybe. a few people in the fam with rheumatic stuff? could play a part. god spun the wheel and had to add whatever wacky thing it landed on? hell yeah, baby! 

later in the season eda needs some more of her elixir (her meds) and the guy at her usual place doesn’t have it in stock for another 2 weeks. she has to go to the boiling isles’s version of the black market to get it. when she gets to the black market guy, the price is outrageous and he just proves that this show is TOO SELF AWARE FOR ITS OWN GOOD. IDK WHO GAVE HIM THE RIGHT TO SPIT SUCH FACTS ABOUT CAPITALISM BUT GODDAMMIT SOMEONE HAD TO SAY IT!! sometimes you can’t get the name brand version of your meds bc insurance doesn’t cover it (even if that’s usually what you get) and you have to get the generic version but IT’S STILL WILDLY EXPENSIVE. and it’s worse if you don’t have insurance. i know other chronically ill people who just ended up smoking w**d for their symptoms until the insurance company stopped playing games, and honestly that says something about the wack ass healthcare system of america *sips tea*  luckily the rude mf that wouldn’t give eda her meds got his stand destroyed and that’s on performing magick without parental supervison

and what i especially like about this show is that they gave this character a curse (illness) and didn’t make it her entire identity for the show. any other time there’s a chronically ill/disabled character, it’s their only personality trait and exhaustively used throughout as a lazy ploy too add diversity. yes, eda has this curse and she lives each day treating it, but she has so much more substance to who she is: she’s a businesswoman, a friend, a mentor, a goofball, a badass, a powerful woman in her craft. eda had said her self at the end of “the intruder,” “no one likes having a curse, but if you take the right steps, it’s manageable.” and that���s exactly what it’s like being a chronically ill person who is able to manage their symptoms with medication and still do certain things that bring them joy. without her elixir eda wouldn’t be able to perform magick and have her business; without my meds and some physical therapy i wouldn’t be able to go to school full time for my photography degree and have a job as a photographer. 

could i possibly be projecting this metaphor onto a character that makes my little gay heart go uwu? maybe but that’s none of your business (unless you feel it too. in that case it’s our business <3). but i seriously cannot wait to see what else is in store for our #1 bad girl in the rest of the series!

(my attention deficit ass wrote this while being distracted from one of my final papers thank you for attending my TEDTalk)

[twoidiotwriters1]

Young Blood -(PB/WITS Crossover)

A/N: Here’s our surprise uwu we’re tagging people from both series and we hope you guys enjoy our fluffy, ‘Voldemort never existed/Lupin isn’t a werewolf’ au -Val & Danny

Words: 6,158

Twoidiots Masterlist // Next Chapter

September 1st, 1971

The train is about to leave. Sirius and Percy finish their goodbyes and hop on the train, both searching for an empty compartment.

“Percy, here,” says the boy, opening one. The girl walks closer but soon realizes it’s not exactly empty.

“Hi,” Sirius says, “can we sit here? All the others are taken...”

“Sure.”

Both kids sit in front of the other boys.

“I’m James, James Potter,” says the kid in glasses.

“I’m Remus Lupin,” The boy in the middle waves awkwardly, he has a small scar on the bridge of his nose. 

“I’m Matthew,” A boy with chestnut hair and clear blue eyes smiles at them, he’s seated at the opposite corner. Persephone can’t help but think that he’s really sweet-looking. Very cute.

“I’m Sirius Black, and this is Percy,” Sirius responds, the girl smiles politely. She looks around and feels a bit awkward being surrounded by a bunch of boys.  

“Is your name really Percy?” asks James. She laughs and shakes her head.

“It’s short for Persephone.”

“Cool,” He gives her a lopsided grin.

For the next five minutes the group divides into tiny conversations, James and Sirius animatedly talk about what they’d do at school, Sirius can’t help but get excited about not being under the gaze of his mum and James has tons of fun ideas. 

Meanwhile, Persephone, Remus and Matthew share the joy of being able to learn everything that the books are promising. They couldn’t wait to start the school year.  

Suddenly the compartment door opens at once and a little girl with thick, auburn hair steps in.

“I know you!” She exclaims, looking directly at Matthew. “You’re Albus Dumbledore’s son!”

The group looks at her in surprise, staying deadly silent.

“Er...” Matthew blushes lightly, “he’s not my father, he’s my uncle… uh, nice to meet you?”

Persephone nudges Sirius side and whispers excitedly. “You think he could keep us away from detention?”

“You’re already assuming we’ll get in trouble?” He grins.

“Oh, please, I know you’re thinking the same,” She responds.

“Sorry, I knew you’d be here and I was excited to meet you, your family is a legend!” The new girl looks around. “Oh, right. I’m Emily Sultens, and you are..?”

“James Potter, nice to meet you,” The boy shakes her hand and then moves the trunk from the seat in front of him so she can join them.

“I’m Remus.” 

“Sirius,” The boy waves lazily.

“Hi,” The girl stares at Emily curiously. “I’m Percy.”

“I’m Matt— but I guess you knew that already…”

“Yes,” Emily giggles, “the Prophet mentions you all the time.”

“Of course they do!” James exclaims, “He’s the son of the greatest wizard that’s ever existed! Aberforth Dumbledore: the guy that turns people into goats…”

“Actually,” Remus spoke up, “that title belongs to Merlin. Uhm, the one about the greatest wizard, not the goats.”

“Yes!” Sirius threw a fist in the air, “you’ll be the witty one of our group.”

The boy hugs Remus so fast he accidentally drops his books. Matt picks them and places them on top of a trunk.

“Don’t be clingy, Sirius!” Percy scolds.

“Don’t be jealous, Percy, I’m just being friendly,” He teases.

“You’re being annoying,” She rolls her eyes. “Stop it.”

“Thanks, Percy,” Remus grunted, pushing Sirius away. “Thanks, Matt.”

“No problem,” Matthew smiles.

Emily sits comfortably next to Percy and quickly starts talking to her. 

“You guys knew each other?” She asks.

“No, I only knew this idiot,” Percy kicks Sirius’ leg softly. “Are you a first-year too?”

“Yes! I’m excited, my dad told me thousands of cool stories about Hogwarts…”

“What house do you want to be sorted in?”

“Oh, I don’t know much about the houses,” Emily tilts her head. 

“It’s really simple, you know there are four houses?” Emily nods, Percy continues. “Well, it’s really common to be sorted into the same house as your family, I’m the youngest, and all my siblings had been in Slytherin, so it’s very likely that I’ll be one as well—”

“Slytherin?”James makes a face of disgust. “What’s your Lastname?”

Percy frowns a bit. “Singh.”

James’ face changes into a more tense expression. “Oh… okay.”

“What’s wrong with my name?” She questions.

“Nothing! Nothing…” Then he adds in a not-so-discrete whisper, “apart from the fact that they’re all ugly snakes.”

Percy gasps loudly, the boys stare at them not knowing what to answer while Emily appears to be slightly confused. Sirius is ready to defend his friend, but Matthew intervenes faster.

“I don’t think Slytherins are bad,” He says. “I assume your whole family was in Gryffindor, right James?”

The boy puffs out his chest defiantly. “Yeah, so?”

“So that explains why you’re so judgy,” Emily says brightly, happy to be able to participate.

“I was just saying!”

The conversation is interrupted by a girl with bright, red hair and a quiet boy, both occupying the last seats available in the compartment. James insists on continuing the argument and the new boy (who introduced himself as Severus) argues back in support of Slytherin. 

They’re both really annoying, the three girls share a look of exasperation and the redhead (who said her name was Lily) decides to put a stop to it.

“This is really stupid, neither of you even know if you’ll be sorted into those houses! You could be Ravenclaws for all you know!”

“No way, I’m obviously Gryffindor!” James argues. “Only brainys are sorted into Ravenclaw...”

“Okay then, you’re obviously not a Ravenclaw,” Lily remarks.

“Exactly!” James blushes when he realizes his mistake. “No, wait—”

“You have an ill opinion of every house except for Gryffindor,” Emily points out.

“Because Gryffindor is the best house!”

“Why are you arguing about it with her anyway? She’s a muggle-born,” Sirius states matter-of-factly. “She doesn’t know what she’s saying.”

Lily loses all colour as she glares at the dark-haired boy. 

“You know what? I won’t waste my time arguing with spoiled prats. Let’s go, Severus,” Lily stands up, Emily and Percy share a look of shock and amusement, both girls immediately knowing they have to befriend this girl.

“See you, Snivellus!” Sirius says out loud as the pair leave the room. Persephone punches his arm. “Ouch! What was that for?”

“You idiot,” She scowls. 

September 1973

“I’m telling you guys, this is the year, I can feel it.”

“Sure thing, Matty,” James snorts. “I don’t understand why is it so hard for you, Emily spends half of her time with us and you still get all anxious around her…”

“I could ask you the same about Lily,” Remus mentions casually. 

“It’s just that she’s always talking with the girls and I can’t ever speak to her without the others watching me!” Matthew huffs. “But I’ve had enough, this year is the year Emily and I become best friends.”

“But you don’t want to be just her friend,” Sirius smirks. “You want to date her.”

“I have to start somewhere…” He mumbles.

“Here’s a different idea,” Sirius puts an arm around his shoulders and pulls him in for a hug, he continues in a whisper, “why don’t you try and flirt with other girls to see if she gets jealous?”

“That’s a stupid idea,” Remus responds. 

“You’re stupid,” Sirius frowns. “And I was talking to Matthew. What do you say, Matt?”

The young Dumbledore looks at the boy and shrugs. 

“Dunno, I don’t want to give her the wrong impression…”

“She already has the wrong impression,” James rolls his eyes. “She thinks you don’t like her!”

“How d’you know?” 

“I heard her talking with Percy the other day while we were on our way to potions, she thinks you can’t stand her and that’s why you always hide from her.”

“No!” Matthew’s eyes widened. “I’m an idiot!”

“Listen to me, Matt,” Sirius insists, squeezing his shoulders. “If you flirt with others then you’ll be more interesting to her, if not, well, you’ll have a bunch of girls chasing you around, it’s a win-win!”

“And how’s that working for you?” Remus questions.

“What do you mean?” Sirius frowns.

“Uh— oh, nevermind,” The boy retorts, hiding behind the book he’s currently reading.

“Well,” Matthew shifts on his seat. “It’s not a terrible idea, is it?”

James shrugs silently, shoving half a sandwich in his mouth.  “Can’ be ‘at ‘ard.”

Matthew rolls his eyes, but he’s finally made a decision. 

“I’ll do it.”

“Cool,” Sirius smirks. 

“How should I start?”

“I have no idea, mate,” Sirius replies, patting his back harshly. “Good luck!”

“Girls,” Emily sat down between them, looking over her shoulder at the group of boys a few feet behind. “Is it me, or is Matthew Dumbledore acting really weird lately?”

“Weird how?” Percy asked.

“I saw him flirt with a fifth-year prefect the other day,” Emily said, her brows furrowed. “He actually convinced her not to send him to detention!”

“I haven’t seen much of him lately,” Lily shrugged. “I’ve been trying to stay away from that lot this year, Potter is driving me crazy—”

“Here we go again...” Percy fell back on the grass with a heavy sigh, Lily ignored her.

“He stole my bag the other day! I had to chase him around! He’s such a child, I don’t understand how Matthew and Remus are his friends...”

“Matthew’s no saint either,” Emily said. “He helped them escape from McGonagall, apparently now he loves pranks as much as Sirius and James…”

“Well, we always knew there had to be a reason why they were such good friends,” Percy replied sitting up a bit.

“...And I saw him sneak a rat’s tail in Dorcas’ drink last Monday, the poor thing screamed so loud!” Lily continued without really listening to the girls.

“I used to think he didn’t like me because I’m usually the one who pranks others with Sirius and James,” Emily was also talking to herself at this point. “I thought he considered me childish and that was why he didn’t want anything to do with me…”

“Mmhmm,” Percy grabbed her hat and covered her face with it, deciding to take a short nap while her two friends continued their rambling.

“—Don’t even get me started on how he treats Severus! He’s always trying to humiliate him and he thinks he’s being funny while doing so—”

“Severus is an idiot most of the time, though,” Emily retorted, briefly coming back to the present. “Even Remus can’t stand him.”

“They never offer him the chance to be better!” Lily argued. “He’s a really sweet boy once you get to meet him, you know?”

“Matthew’s a sweet boy, right? Did I had the wrong impression all this time? Is that why he hates me? I dunno, I don’t find him as fun to be around as I used to...”

“Dear Merlin!” Percy sat up in exasperation. “Emily, if you’re so eager to get to know him better just go and talk, you never shut up anyway— Lily, I’m seriously considering to arrange a date so you and James can shut up about each other.”

 Both girls stared at her in shock, Emily blushed in embarrassment while Lily got red with anger.

“I hate James Potter!” She rummaged through her bag and pulled out her charms book. “Look at what he did to my book! He’s an animal!”

“I don’t need to know Matthew better, he’s clearly becoming Sirius and James’ triplet, that’s all I need to know,” Emily huffed.

“Very well,” Percy rolls her eyes. “Whatever you say — Can we talk about something else now?”

“Okay,” Emily mumbles. “About what?”

“I have no idea,” Percy mutters.

“Afternoon, girls,” Matthew approaches blithely, Percy lets out the faintest groan. “Is this books yours? I found it outside Slughorn’s classroom and I’ve been trying to find its owner…”

“No,” Percy replies without even looking at it.

“I don’t think so,” Matthew seems to have his full attention on her and Emily honestly can’t look away. “Are you sure it doesn’t have any initials on it? No names?”

“No... It looks rather new, that’s why I’m trying to return it, I don’t think the student would like to buy twice the same thing?”

This is the longest he’s ever talked to her without stammering, Emily takes it as a good sign. Maybe he doesn’t hate her after all, perhaps he’s just too much like he’s father, a bit shy, maybe even a bit grumpy…

“I could help you if you want?” 

“W-What?” Matthew’s eyes widened, he wasn’t expecting that. He looks down to the book in his hand and swears internally. If she sees the book is James’ then she’ll think he’s an idiot. He can’t let her do that!

“Matt!” One of his classmates from Ancient Runes walks up to him, a black girl with beautiful eyes. “Hi! I was on my way to get something to eat, want to join me?”

Matthew immediately adopts his charming smile. He fixes his tie and nods.

“Sure thing!” He looks back at Emily and nods. “Maybe we can look around later?”

Emily doesn’t know why she’s so frustrated, she wanted to spend time with him. She’s been trying to be his friend for two years and every time she gets close something always happens! It’s exasperating.

Matthew leaves her there and both, Percy and Lily stare at her with knowing grins. She refuses to meet their gazes.

“You’re such an idiot, Sirius, why did you tell Matthew to flirt around?” Percy slaps the back of his head. “Emily’s getting so many mixed signals!”

“I thought it would catch her eye!” He grunts, rubbing his neck. “Merlin, you have a heavy hand…”

“You deserve that for being such a fool, why does your solution always involve flirting with other people?” She rolls her eyes.

“It was the first thing that came to mind!”

“It’s the only thing you do lately,” She grumbled.

“I think you’re overreacting. It’s not a big deal, not like you fancy her, do you?” He raises a brow, Percy hits him again. 

“I don’t like her, but I don’t think it’s fair to play with other people’s feelings,” She sighs and closes her eyes in distress. “Anyway, now we have to fix it! This is the plan— I’ll sit with you during charms. That way Lily and Emily will have an empty seat and Matthew won’t have another choice but to sit with them!”

 “He’s a coward, he won’t do it.”

“A galleon says he will,” Remus adds. 

“Deal,” reply Sirius.

When Emily walks into the classroom she finds the strangest scene in front of her.

Percy is seated next to James, Remus and Sirius, who looks strangely grumpy. Across the room, Lily, Jenna and Matthew are sharing a table, and the only free spot is right next to the boy.

Unsure of what’s happening, Emily sits down next to the young Dumbledore trying to look as casual as possible. She smiles at him and Matthew smiles back. She really likes his smile. 

“Did you find the owner?” 

“What — Oh, yeah!” He chuckles. “It was one of James’ pranks— I guess he ran out of smart ideas. You look pretty today.”

“Oh,” Emily’s voice comes out slightly high-pitched. “You look pretty too. I mean— Handsome. Yes. Well pretty is also acceptable, isn’t it? I’ve never understood why boys don’t like to be called pretty—”

“You can call me pretty,” He says immediately, behind him Lily bursts into a fit of silent giggles. “I mean, whatever you prefer, I don’t mind. I don’t hate you —”

“You don’t?” She asks in relief. “That’s great! Does that mean we can be friends?”

“Let’s be best friends!”

“I would love that!”

“Our first visit to Hogsmeade is next week,” He continues, encouraged by her excitement. “Would you like to have a butterbeer with me then?”

“Yes!”

Sirius, Remus, James and Percy stare at them in incredulity.

“Dear Merlin, I think we’ve created a monster,” Sirius gulps. “Look at how fast their mouths move!”

“Lily’s going to pee her pants if she doesn’t calm herself,” Percy grins.

“I can’t believe I just lost a galleon!” James scoffs.

“I can’t believe it took them almost three whole years to start talking,” Remus snorted. “You two cough up, you owe me a galleon each.”

November 1976

“I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m dying alone.”

A general groan surrounds James when his friends react to his comment. 

“Don’t start this again,” Sirius sighs tiredly. “Being single is the best! Why’re you crying about it?”

“What would you know about being single? You’re practically married to Persephone!” James scoffs.

Sirius guffaws. “What? That’s not true! Who’s Persephone? I don’t know her.”

The dark-haired boy changes his position on the couch awkwardly, next to him Matthew laughs. 

“Don’t listen to him, being in love isn’t so bad, you know?”

“Please, Matt, tell me your secrets,” James implores dramatically. 

“What secrets?” Matthew snorts. “Mate, I haven’t the faintest.”

“What do you mean you haven’t? You’ve been with Mily for two years!”

“Doesn’t mean I know what I’m doing…”

“Sorry, Prongs,” Remus says in amusement. “Looks like you’re on your own.”

“That’s it then, I’m destined to die as a spinster with twenty cats,” He turns to Sirius. “I’ll have to live in your basement.”

“What?” Sirius exclaims. “You’re rich! I thought you were the one who was going to let me live in his basement!”

“I’m not rich, my parents are!” James scoffs. “They’ll kick me out by the time I turn thirty. Mark my words, Sirius, I’ll die alone.”

��C’mon, have faith, James!” Matthew insists. “Listen, why don’t you ask her to join you for a butterbeer next weekend? The last visit to Hogsmeade before our Christmas break, maybe the holiday’s spirit might convince her to be nicer with you?”

“Right, because six years of deep loathing are that easy to forget,” Remus teases. 

“I was just saying,” Matthew shrugs. “Emily reckons Lily is open to try new things…”

“That’s only when it’s her or Percy asking her to try them,” Sirius retorts.

“That’s it!” James claps once in excitement. “Let’s convince Percy to help us! Let’s organize a double date! You ask Percy —”

“Not so fast,” Sirius frowns. “Why would I ask Percy on a date? That’s weird, Lily would know right away what we’re doing.”

James snorted. “No, she wouldn’t.”

“How are you so sure?”

“You’re so up Percy’s arse she won’t think it’s weird if you ask her out. I bet the girls have been expecting this for ages.”

“No, I’m not,” He scoffs, then hesitates. “Am… am I?”

He looks around at the rest of the boys. A general mumble of agreement spreads around them. 

“I wouldn’t say it like that,” Matthew starts politely. “It’s just that you appreciate her a lot.”

“Well, she’s my best friend!”

“Cheesy,” James fakes a cough.

Sirius punches his arm and raises his voice slightly.

“Stop it, you prat!”

“Be honest, Sirius,” Remus leans over. “You’ve never considered dating her? Not even once?”

“No?” He pushes his hair back and shrugs tensely. “Obviously.”

Matthew and James share a look. 

“You definitely dream about dating her,” James declares. 

“James...” Matthew warns him.

“We’ve heard you mumbling her name when you sleep!”

“James,” Matt insists.

“Can I go with you on the honeymoon? I promise to be quiet —”

Sirius stands up abruptly while talking.

“No! You hear me? I won’t do it!”

“I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

Sirius stands in the middle of the snowy path with James anxiously waiting next to him. He’s standing on his tiptoes waiting to catch a glimpse of Lily’s figure, but he hasn’t succeeded yet.

“Oh, please,” James smirks. “You’ll thank me later. Have you thought of any destination for the romantic trip in which you’ll take your fiance?”

“We’re not taking you on our honeymoon!”

“We?” James grins. 

“I— Oh, sod off,” Sirius looks ahead and whimpers. “They’re here.”

Percy waves at them happily, she’s got her arm locked around Lily’s, who looks at James as if he were her personal hell.

“Afternoon, girls,” James greets them cheerily. “You look beautiful, Lily.”

Lily stares at him and scowls, making a brief throaty sound to let him know she heard his compliment.

“Percy,” Sirius squints. “Are you wearing makeup?”

She stammers her reply. “Y-Yes? Is it too much? I’m not used to wearing this stuff, I —”

“You look good,” Sirius replies innocently. “You look pretty — Er, I mean, it looks nice.”

“Oh,” Percy blinks. “Thank you.”

Lily and James stare at them with matching grins, when the pair look at each other James beams, but Lily’s smile vanishes completely. 

“What are we waiting for, then?” She asks grumpily. “Let’s go, I’m freezing.”

The redhead walks past the boys firmly and James follows her right away like a lost puppy. Sirius and Percy look at each other without knowing what to do now.

“We should go too, before Lily kills him,” Sirius offers. 

“Yeah! You’re right, yes…” 

Both teenagers quickly catch up with their friends, ready to forget whatever happened five seconds ago.

“I can’t believe you got me into this, why me?” Lily whines as she watches Persephone wash her hands. 

“Give poor James a chance, Lily,” Percy smiles. “He’s trying so hard to behave!”

“He’s an idiot,” Lily rolls her eyes. “Listen, I’m here because you were clearly dying to go on a date with Sirius, but don’t ask me to flirt with James, I can’t do it.”

Percy grimaces. “I wasn’t dying to date Sirius! I — I just couldn’t bring myself to reject him, it was unexpected, you know? I didn’t know he wanted this...”

It’s a lie, of course. Percy knows this date was James’ idea, but she can’t tell Lily that! 

Although she does wonder why James asked Sirius and her instead of Matthew and Emily, maybe they had to use the excuse of ‘first dates are always awkward so we had to bring our friends along’ and Gryffindor’s golden couple wouldn’t have been helpful considering they would’ve spent the whole day snogging in front of their mates.

In that case, it made sense it was her and Sirius, they had to pretend this was their first date and not James and Lily’s. Mostly because Lily didn’t even want to be there in the first place.

When the girls went back to their seats Percy found a piece of chocolate cake waiting for her on the table. 

“Hey, I didn’t order this,” She says, eyeing the food with interest.

“I did,” replies Sirius casually. “I know it’s your favourite, and I know you get all whiny when you get hungry so I took the liberty to buy you lunch.”

Percy’s chest tightens with affection, she beams at him but briefly catches Lily’s taunting smile and quickly composes herself. 

“That’s nice,” Percy looks around the table, “you guys want anything?”

“I’m not hungry,” James replies happily, he only has eyes for Lily. “What about you, Evans, you want anything? My treat!”

Lily’s face shows a hint of a smile, but she quickly covers it by looking away. 

“No thank you, I can pay for my own stuff.”

James laughs lightheartedly. “What are you saying? Everyone knows girls don’t pay on the first date!”

Lily pales at the statement. 

“That’s ridiculous! Don’t try to mess with me today, James, I’m not in the mood.”

“I’m just trying to be a gentleman!” James frowns. “Why do you always assume I’m trying to upset you?”

“Because everything is always a big joke to you,” Lily huffs. “I’m sorry, but until you grow up I won’t be able to treat you as anything more than a child.”

James stares at her in surprise, then his brows furrow and his eyes turn cold. It’s not a normal look on him, but Sirius has seen him like this before, whenever Snape insults him.

“Fine,” James replies shortly. “I get it — You don’t like me. Brilliant. Why didn’t you say so instead of coming all this way only to insult me?”

“I didn’t want to come! I’m here because Percy asked me to!”

James’ cheeks flush red. 

“Well I’m sorry you got forced to spend your last weekend before Christmas with me! You’re free to go, I’m leaving,” James puts a galleon on the table and stands up, hastily pushing the chair away.

“Mate,” Sirius starts, but James raises a hand to silence him. 

“It’s okay, Sirius,” He smiles at him, but it’s small, and it looks tired. “You can stay if you want, I think… I think I need to be alone.”

Lily watches him leave in shock. Percy speaks to her softly. 

“Lily?”

Her friend lowers her head, and to her surprise, Percy watches as Lily blinks back a few tears. 

“I’ll see you at dinner...”

She stands up as well, leaving the establishment. Percy and Sirius stare at each other.

“Well,” Percy starts. “That was awful.”

“Tell me about it,” Sirius leans back on his chair and runs a hand over his face. “I won’t hear the end of it tonight… James is going to be devastated! And of course, it’ll be my fault, the boys will find a way to blame this on me...”

“I know what you mean,” Percy rolls her eyes. “I don’t know why they always choose me to do this stuff, I’m the one who’s single and not in love! Emily’s the one who’s always talking about Matthew, Lily just needs to vent about her feelings for James and sometimes even Jenna starts acting all lovey when Marlene is near…”

“Matthew’s the same, always with that stupid smile and ogling at Emily, annoying as hell,” Sirius scoffs. “I wish we could go back to being kids when neither of them was drooling over each other…”

The pair delved into different topics as the hours went by, it was just the two of them, but it was the first time in a long while that they truly felt comfortable and at ease. Neither of them was spotted until Sirius entered the boys’ dormitory.

“Hey, you’re back,” Matthew says from his bed. “Where were you? James came back hours ago and he looked like he wanted to set himself on fire…”

“Oh — hi!” Sirius gives a start and quickly hides his face, turning his back to the boy. “I’m okay, I’m not the one who had a bad date — Nor a good date! I didn’t have a date.”

“Okay?” Matthew closes his book. “That’s not what I asked, though.”

“I was around,” Sirius shrugs. “How’s James, then? Where is he?”

“Think he’s gone to the secret passageway behind the old witch to cry his eyes out, people will probably think it’s a very loud ghost or something,” Remus replies from his own bed. “At least that’s what he said, dunno, he wasn’t making sense…”

“The date went bad, that’s what I understood,” Matthew says grimly. “What happened, Sirius?”

“I’m not sure,” He stands there trying to remember, “We were talking, and James wasn’t even acting that childish in my opinion, but Lily was determined to argue with him — in the end, I think James lost his patience and left.”

“He willingly walked away from Lily Evans?” Remus raises a brow. “Does this mean he’s moving on?”

“I wouldn’t call ‘hiding in the hidden passageway to cry’ moving on, would you?” Sirius snorts. “But maybe he will afterwards, who knows…”

“So Lily just stayed with you the whole time?”

“Oh no, she left as well, and she even cried a bit,” His smile fell. “It went downhill very quickly.”

“What did Persephone and you did afterwards, then? Because none of us saw you around?”

Sirius tenses and starts to undress without looking at any of them

“We just talked, I ordered food and we didn’t want to waste it…”

Remus and Matthew chuckle, Sirius looks over his shoulder at them. 

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” Remus smirks. “How was the food?”

“Good, I guess?” He frowns. 

“Did you have fun?” 

“Well, it’s Percy. I always have fun.”

Matthew laughs louder and Sirius grabs a pillow and throws it at him. 

“What are you laughing at?”

“You had a date!”

“No!” He protests. “It wasn’t a real date! James forced us to go —”

“And you stayed after he and Lily left,” Remus continued. “Just the two of you.”

“Did you share the food?” Matthew smirks.

“Well, I only ordered her food so what else were we supposed to do?”

“You could’ve ordered a second plate?” Matthew offers with contained laughter.

“Sod off, you two!” Sirius groans. “It wasn’t a date, okay? We just talked and then — then we came back! Nothing happened!”

“That’s a bit rude,” Remus pouts mockingly. “You gave her food, least she could’ve done was giving you a hug!”

“Not even a goodnight kiss?”

“We didn’t kiss!” Sirius blushed uncontrollably, if it weren’t for the dim illumination of the room, the other two would’ve noticed right away. “Just leave it, will you? I’m going to look for James, if we don’t bring him back he’ll spend the whole night outside...”

“Alright, no need to be so moody,” Matthew replies. “We’re just teasing, you know we don’t actually believe you and Percy want to date…”

Sirius freezes at that. “You don’t?”

“Nah,” Remus shrugs. “Percy’s smarter than that.”

The boy looks even more insulted at that statement. 

The next morning a battered-looking James is having breakfast when Lily Evans approaches carefully. She clears her throat and James looks at her sideways.

“I’m really not in the mood today, Evans, just let me eat in peace…”

“I don’t want to fight,” She replies a bit aggressively. “I mean — I came here to say I’m sorry.”

Remus, Matthew, and James all stop and stare at her. Behind her, Emily, Marlene and Jenna all stand in a circle of unity, encouraging Lily to continue. 

“What I said yesterday was uncalled for and rude,” She takes a deep breath. “You were trying to be friendly and I didn’t give you a chance — Although you have to admit that given your prior attempts to be ‘friendly’ I had the right to be hesitant about you—”

Emily nudges her side and Lily stops abruptly, blushing a little. James takes the opportunity to speak. 

“I want to fix all that,” He says. “I know I was a twat before but I promise I grew out of it — even Matthew says I’m getting better!”

“That’s true I did say that,” Matthew admits. 

“I’m willing to give you a second chance, to be friends,” Lily puts extra emphasis on the last word. “Friends, you hear me? Just that.”

“I’ll take it,” James smiles. “I’m sorry for… well, everything.”

Lily stares at him intently one last time before nodding and walking away from the group of boys, the girls follow her, Emily stays behind just a second to kiss Matthew’s cheek and quickly catches up with the rest.

“Well,” Remus tries to hide a smirk. “That was unexpected.”

“I love her,” James states. “I’m going to marry her one day.”

“Sure, because nothing says friendship more than marriage,” Matthew jokes. 

Sirius and Percy walk up to them just then, laughing quietly as they reach the table, the three boys stare at them and they stop. 

“What?” Percy frowns. “Did we miss something?”

“I think you should ask that to Lily,” Remus taunts. 

“What’s happening?”

“Sirius, my life’s about to change,” He replies dramatically. 

“Congrats,” Sirius smiles at Percy as she leaves, the memory of their first kiss from last night invading his thoughts. “I feel the same way, mate.”

December 1980 

Remus reads the letter Persephone sent him as he waits for his train to reach the station. He can’t help but feel eager at the thought of seeing his friends again after a year and a half without talking in-person to each other.

He’s had a busy life, Remus signed a contract to travel the world and write a book about the different ways the wizarding community deals with dark magic, so far the trip has been wonderful and successful, he’s met thousands of different people and places, but if he’s honest, he’s been homesick for a couple of months, he missed a bunch of important events and he’ll try to make up for it now that he’s on vacation. 

Sometimes he forgets that his friends are all adults now, they have jobs and families. He’s single but he’s never really cared for it, his life is always interesting even without a romantic partner, and it’s not like he’s alone, today is the living proof of that. 

Today he’s going home to meet the new members of his family.

“Remus!” Lily is the first to welcome him in with a big hug. “Oh my god, look at you! So handsome!”

Remus laughs. “Don’t let James hear you say that.”

“Oh, James is too distracted at the moment,” Lily grins. “Ever since July he only has eyes for —”

“Remus!” Persephone enters the room holding a plate with sandwiches and quickly puts them aside as she sees her old friend. “You’re tanned! Where have you been?”

“Everywhere!” Remus smiles. “México was my favourite no doubt, but you have to be careful with the food —”

“Mate!” James walks into the room. “Look at this!”

James holds up a baby with striking green eyes like Lily’s and thick dark hair.

“Dear, Merlin,” Remus drops his trunk in the middle of the living room and stops in front of James. “Is this Harry?”

“Yes,” Lily smiles lovingly. “Harry, this is uncle Remus!”

“Wait!” A voice comes from the hall. “We agreed we would show the babies at the same time, you prat!”

“Sorry, Matty,” James smirks. “Got excited.”

Matthew and Sirius walk into the room, both holding their own children. 

“You really kept yourselves busy while I was gone, didn’t you?” Remus teases. 

“Oh, hush,” Emily is the last to appear, she’s holding a half-empty bottle. “Just shut up and come meet them.”

“This is Mel,” Matthew smiles.

“And this is Perseus,” Sirius’ face glows with pride. “Isn’t he the most handsome baby you’ve ever seen? He’s all his mum.”

“Dunno, Sirius,” James frowns a bit, holding onto his son. “Harry’s cuter.”

The two men start discussing it and Remus laughs, the truth is that the three babies all look the same to him, but he’s too happy about being with his friends again that he doesn’t want to stop their argument. 

“You know, now that you’re here is as good as any other moment,” Emily puts a hand on his shoulder to get his attention. “Matthew and I were wondering if you’d like to be Mel’s godfather?”

Matthew discretely moves away from James and Sirius and gets closer to him. Remus stares at the couple in surprise. 

“Godfather?” He asks. “Are you sure?”

“You’re my best mate, Remus,” Matthew smiles. “I would trust you with my life, and even if it’s unlikely, I’d feel better if I know it’s you who’s going to be looking after my daughter.”

“And you’re okay with this, Mily?” Remus raises a brow.

“Hey, as I see it, the kids will grow up having a famous writer as their uncle, if anything, are you sure you want this?” Emily snorts. “We’re choosing you because you’ll be richer than us in no time, and we’re selfish.”

Remus smiles, he looks down at the baby and his hand reaches out to her. 

“Can I hold her?”

Matthew happily obliges, he carefully gives him the baby and Remus holds her like it’s made of the finest glass. This is the smallest human he’s ever carried, Mel is barely five months old, but she looks at him as if she knew exactly who he was. A tiny hand moves up and gently touches his cheek, almost following the tiny scars Remus has gained during his adventures around the globe. 

Mel is too tiny to look like any of her parents, but for some reason, the thought of her adopting any of his quirks warms his heart. He wants to see all of these kids grow, they’re extensions of his best friends, of course he wants to be their family!

“What d’you say, Mely?” Remus asks quietly. “Do you think I could be a good mentor?”

The baby doesn’t make a sound, just stares at him intently, Remus looks up at her parents and nods. 

“Alright, but just so you know, I’m taking her side in every future argument that she may have with you.”

Sirius and James stop fighting after a while, they’re now showing off their babies to Remus, who has to take turns to hold each one. He loves them dearly already, and he can’t wait to see what kind of people they’ll grow up to be.

Next Chapter —>

WITS Taglist:

@dee123ksha @vampiregirl1797 @siriuslysirius1107 @stardusthigh @mikariell95 @vernon-dursley @thesuitelifeofafangirl @tomshollandz @kylosleftbuttcheek @reverse-hxlland @bloodorangemoonlight @omiwashere @t-rexs-world @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @21bruhs @i-am-scared-and-useless-bisexual @dielgonacoffee

PB Taglist: 

 @avipshamitra @auroraawrites @findzelda @lizlil @siriusmuch​ @may-rapp @the-specific-oceans @eveft​ @secret-obsessions​ @theeicedamericano​ @xkonpinkx​ @inkandpen22​  @littledeadgirlwalking​  @chloe-geoghegan1​

[jjba-hell]

Rock Bottom

Day 2 and the Prompt we going for was- Insecurity. And lemme just say I went ham on this one. Sorry for anyone who read my unedited version a few hours ago, my tumblr cue time is weird af... 

This is a bit of a mash up between backstory and insecurity but definitely ANGSTY AF! Really now, good luck.

There are ALLOT of trigger warnings so much, I dare say it’s rated. Drug use, pregnancy, postnatal complications (and death), ABUSE (emotional, physical, verbal, familial), prostitution (mention)...I probably missed allot but this one is intense. 

Gonna tag @a-nonnie-mousse (’cause you a sweetie) and @lasquadraweek2020 for this one and also @risottoneroo​ (though if Mel’s not your cup of tea, I’m so sorry but we mutuals now so sowwy UwU) 

2,4 K words- good luck ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ

Looking at the mirror one morning Melone couldn’t help but breath a heavy sigh. March 22nd held a painful memory to him- which was why he was due at the graveyard at 9 for a personal meeting. Risotto had been kind enough to allow it but not without warning.

“Don’t get caught.” Was all he said.

“Yeah, like I’d allow another fuck up.” He scoffed as he tied his hair back to get ready. As if he hadn’t heard enough of that in his life. Gazing back at himself mirror- tired and defeated he recalled a younger version of himself doing and thinking the same thing a few years ago- looking back at the mirror and feeling the same way he did at that moment. It had happened after another fight with his mother.

“Stefan.” His mother hissed as she angrily loomed over his shoulder. “What’s this?” She tossed the physics pop quiz on the table in front of him- feeling panic set in his spine, wanting to jump out of his chair and hurdle his way out of her grasp. He had thrown that piece of paper away- he could have sworn he did. Right now, of course, he was wishing he had burned it instead.

“Nothing, mama.”

“Nothing is it? Because it looks like a C- to me.”

He swallowed, hoping she was a too tired to fight him today. “Most of the class-“

“I don’t-“she grabbed hold of the hair on top of his head and shoved his head down onto the table. “-CARE ABOUT HOW MOST OF THE CLASS DID! That is going on your report card!”

He kept his head down, nose bleeding into the algebra homework he was working on below him. Picking up his head now would only make her hurt him more. “Mama, it was a mock test.”

“So, this is how little you know. Did you cheat your way through your grades your whole life?”

He didn’t say anything, knowing there was no point in arguing with her when she was like this. 

Melone grew up in a household most people would find bizarre but he never labelled it abuse. Not until his university sweetheart held his hand and asked him. “Why do you apologize for everything you do?”

It wasn’t hard to figure out once he sat down and considered it instead of shoving the question aside in favour of a taking a bit of ecstasy and a willing side piece- a bad habit he had picked up after he left the hellish hole he called home.

“You’re just as stupid as your father.”

“You’re just as spineless as your mother.”

Two phrases interchanged by two people who didn’t love each other in the slightest and him in the middle of it all- wondering why nothing he did was ever enough.

Melone shook off the memory as he splashed his face with the warm water from the tap, only to end up being caught up in his own reflection again, by the gaze of his heterochromatic eyes- the mask he wore on the lay job forgotten on his bedside table. He had had many of his one night stands tell him he was gorgeous with the one blue and one green eye but he had spent enough of his childhood being told by his father what a freak it made him. 

He gazed back at his own bed, surprisingly devoid of the previous night’s endeavour. So, he pulled the sheets off and remade the bed, thinking on how badly he wished he wasn’t sober- numbing away the grief he was feeling with a little white pill and the pleasure of being praised between the sheets. 

The weather forecast called for a cold chill and some scattered showers, how fitting for the proper black coat and suit he left the apartment in. He got into the car with Ghiacchio without another word beside a simple greeting, not wanting to anger the blue-haired man beside him- he didn’t quiet feel up to the banter, or perhaps arguments was a better word, he shared with Ghiacchio.

The scenery melded from cityscape to countryside- reminding him of the first time he went to this graveyard. At the time, tragedy has struck his life like lightning and was burning down everything he had dared to hope for- the person waiting for him at the church connected to the graveyard was all hope he had left to save Bianca.

The life of the mafia was never really one he was completely ignorant of- the contraband he used to take like sugar pills was just one of the ways he already had his foot in the door- although at the time he simply deemed himself as paying for a product from a lackey. When he cleaned up his act for Bianca he thought he’d never have to delve that dark again. The straight and narrow path didn’t last long though and soon he came to realize that he had been surrounded by crime his whole life, only waiting to be inevitably swallowed by it. 

Ghiacchio pulled up a few blocks short of the graveyard gates and Melone handed him a wad of cash as payment. “That’s generous.” Ghiacchio commented but Melone didn’t answer. He simply got up and thanked him again. He would walk the rest of the way- which wasn’t far.

Melone bought a handful of Marigolds from the flower vendor on his way and continued to move through the gates- meandering through as he racked his brain as to where they were buried. It wasn’t so much that he didn’t care, it just hurt too much to think about often enough to remember. When he eventually found the white marble mausoleum he stepped in and found the two plaques on the wall where he inserted the flowers into their designated holdings. Bianca Regio and Vita Regio. 

Six years ago, shortly after he graduated his first-year medical school, he had gotten some news from his girlfriend Bianca- she was pregnant with his baby. He supposed normal students would have seen their whole lives doomed but the joy he felt overwhelmed his worry surrounding finances to take care of the child. It was most definitely not his plan, but he didn’t care. He felt so hopeful for the kid’s sake- a prospect he looked back at and cringed at his own desperation to give something he never had. He and his girlfriend loved each other. Even thinking on that phrase made his heart ache. She loved him. He loved her. They were going to start a loving family together. He could give them what he never had. It only occurred to him later on how contradicting that was but at the time, ignorance was bliss.

It didn’t last long of course- six months after Bianca told him she went into premature labour and then shortly after got a blood clot in her portal vein. Vita was born 3 months too early and was already in intensive care within hours of her birth and Bianca was getting weaker by the minute. The panic and desperation set into Melone the second she was moved into the ICU with no prospect of getting better.  Despite severing ties with his parents Melone knew where his bread was buttered. A broke medical student couldn’t wish to pay the medical bills Bianca was tallying up in the hospital.  He didn’t even think twice to call his father and admit his defeat. 

What his father told him would have shocked anyone else in this world- to hear your father say. “The capo that runs this town is at the church in Venicio- confession ends in an hour.” It suddenly made sense how his father could always afford the expensive cars or the expensive furniture in their home despite being a lowly state attorney while his mother worked as his assistant.

Melone took a cab as close as close to the church as he dared- true to his father warning-and ran to the find the man who could help him.

“Signore, I beg you. My love and our child are in danger.” He had begged as he dropped to his knees in front of the man. “I sell myself to you, my future, my life. It’s all yours if you would just lend me for the medical bills now.” 

The capo ran a hand over Melone’s tear-streaked face, pinching his chin between his thumb and forefinger. Melone was made to gaze up at him. The stern, unreadable expression made him tense up in fear of accidentally disrespecting him. But the capo turned Melone’s head as if to observe him. “I’ll consider it.” He grumbled as he reached into his suit pocket and pulled out a thick wad of cash which Melone took in disbelief. “I expect you at Libechio’s tomorrow afternoon, sharp.”

And with that, he moved past Melone.

He didn’t regret it, he never would. It only hurt that at face value it was in vain. The money spoke louder than his begging ever would and as it turned out- whatever treatment they gave Bianca allowed her to be moved back into a regular hospital room. He spoke to Bianca the very morning he was due at Libeccio’s- feeling hopeful that she’d recover. Even the capo took pity on him, saying he’d have handed him to a pimp that day if it weren’t for the news of Bianca’s position. At the time, Melone had no idea what the capo had meant- not truly. He thought the capo had learned more about him- about Biacna’s pre-term labour and her sudden illness but he understands now that they are usually not that giving.

Instead, Melone got an alternative deal. Melone would finish his medical studies full term on the capo’s good graces to fulfill the need for a medic in the mafia before he would be officially initiated.  since he lost Lucy and their unborn child in the same night.

The expensive treatment Melone had paid for gave Melome a solid two days before he had to give a painful, final goodbye to both Bianca and his daughter. The baby’s heartbeat was lost two hours prior to Bianca’s death. He had begged, pleaded for her to hold on just a bit longer but with tear-rimmed he said his final goodbye, grasping onto her like she was his lifeline. He didn’t let go of her until they escorted him out of the room- by then her hand had lost all its warmth.

Outside of the hospital he came face to face with Bianca’s family- having to explain to her parents what had happened to her. Standing in front of them was probably the heaviest thing he had been forced to do. Suddenly all the insecurities his parents ever made him believe were proved right. He wasn’t enough to take care of Bianca. He wasn’t enough to take care of Vita. He wasn’t enough to take care of himself. He wasn’t smart enough to have come up with a plan without his father’s help. He wasn’t smart enough to understand that he’d never be able to live the life he so desperately craved. 

After that he had to go home and clear away all her books and research she had left on his desk, the plans he had for the nursery, the applications for a home loan and eventually even the ring he wanted to propose to her with was pawned- anything to try and rid himself of any reminder of his failure. To forget the pain of losing all he had hoped for in one night.

“Stefan.” A voice called beside him.

“Mrs Regio.” He turned to Bianca’s mother who held a bundle of flowers in her hand. “You look well.”

“As do you, Mrs Regio.” He didn’t say anything else, simply handing over the envelope of cash he owed her family. 

Bianca and Melone turned out to have more in common than they truly knew. Bianca ran away from home when she found out her parents were involved in organized crime and Melone ran away only to find out his family did the same. Because the money Melone borrowed from the capo went towards Bianca’s treatment- it was her parents who let her slip away from their care and they therefor had to take on the debt Melone had made. He refused to let Bianca’s parents think lowly of him so that brought him here, paying off a year’s worth of debt every year he met with Mrs Regio. 

He turned to look at Bianca’s plaque one more, praying that she could forgive him for failing her and continuing to fail her as he continued to live as he did. His sobriety was thrown out the window the day he came home from her funeral. He kept up his promise of finishing his degree on whatever he felt like using until he had to be initiated- then he had to sober up just enough to do his job in the mafia. 

BabyFace came to be and so did his most lecherous self- which made eventually stop seeing victims and mothers as people but as faceless bodies. But when he woke up after a high of a kill all he could ask was: 

Was that all he was worth? Was that what his soul was made of? An intense hunger for still wanting to find the perfect mother, be a perfect father and create the perfect baby? Now thriving on make others understand how it feels to be deconstructed until they’re nothing- just as he had for so many years? Was this trauma always going to taunt him? Was he always going to be reminded of his insecurity within himself?

At first the stand seemed useless until he tried using his stand on a mission to take out a bastard who was behind on rent money. It was then that he realized it was better for murder than it was at helping him achieve the dream that haunted him.

“It wasn’t your fault, Stefan. You did more than we could.” 

“Not enough.”

The two stepped out of the mausoleum, closing the door behind them. “You’re a good man, Stefan.” Was the last thing Bianca’s mother told him before turning and walking away. 

Melone shook his head as he started walking back to the entrance of the graveyard.

“I never was, Mrs Regio.”

The second he got back into the car with Ghiacchio, he popped a pill and asked to wait a few minutes so he could take a smoke break and call an old friend of his…

“Yeah I don’t care who, just make sure she’s not new.”

[deathstands]

              ・   。   ◟  major   big   uwu   moment   ,   i   haven’t   been   this   excited   abt   an   rp   in   a   minute   &   i’m   ecstatic   for   my   muse   !   i’m   really   glad   to   meet   you   all   ,   i’m   cc   ,   nineteen   &   a   notorious   loser   .   a   quick   about   regarding   seamus   ,   former   nasa   nerd   ,   lover   of   stars   ,   fight   mode   because   he’s   been   doing   it   his   whole   life   .   this   is   entirely   too   long   &   winded   ,   but   i   think   (   ???   )   it’s   cool   n   e   way   .   like   this   &   i’ll   come   to   u   for   plotting   or   ,   lmk   if   you’d   prefer   to   plot   on   d*scord   .

                                stats  /  wanted  connections  tag  /  connections  page

(   ben   hardy.   cis   male.   he   /   him.   )   /   SEAMUS   OLMSTEAD   has   been   with   the   group   for   two   years   and   is   currently   doing   their   part   in   the   community   as   a   car   mechanic.   while   here,   the   twenty-nine   year   old   has   created   the   reputation   of   being   abrasive   &   cursory,   but   can   also   be   known   as   venturesome   &   jocular.   in   a   sticky   situation,   they   will   resort   to   fight   mode   and   their   current   weapon   is   a   handmade   spear.

𝓲.     𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕕𝕘𝕖𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥   .

full   name   :   seamus   lucas  olmstead   nickname(s) :   lucas  ,  bastard  ,  selfish  wanker age   :  twenty  -  nine gender   /   pronouns   :  cis gendered   male   /   he  /  him sexuality   :  bisexual  /  panromantic hometown   :  des   moines   ,   iowa position   :   car  mechanic previous  occupation  :  aeronautical  &  aerospace  engineer faceclaim :  ben  hardy

fun facts : misses   his   cigarettes   *   clenches   fists   *   every   gd   day   ,   hasn't   brushed   his   hair   in   three   months   ,   used   to   be   a   division   one   collegiate   swimmer   ,   doesn't   know   how   he   made   it   this   far   because   he's   loud   &   selfish   ,   stargazes   at   night   by   himself   :(   ,   has   worked   on   rockets   ,   gives   good   hugs   but   doesn't   give   many   out   .

aesthetic :  the   dark   side   of   the   moon   ,   quiet   contemplations   while   bathing   in   the   moonlight   ,   drowning   in   a   field   of   grass   while   mourning   a   broken   family   ,   running   in   slow   motion   in   the   shallows   of   a   pool   ,   blessings   from   artemis   ,   a   worn   out   id   badge   unable   to   be   thrown   away   ,   targets   on   your   back   &   watching   out   for   yourself   first   &   yourself   only   .

𝓲𝓲.     𝕔𝕙𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕚𝕔𝕝𝕖   .

death tw .

bathed   in   the   moonlight   at   his   birth   ,   the   first   thing   icy   hues   see   are   the   stars   .   implanted   into   his   memory   ,   he   grows   up   loving   the   night   sky   .   at   four   ,   he   brings   his   twin   baby   brothers   out   on   the   rooftop   his   window   leads   to   &   shows   him   the   constellations   the   night   they   come   home   from   the   hospital   .   his   parents   yell   at   him   for   endangering   his   brother   ,   but   all   he   wanted   to   do   was   show   him   his   love   for   space   . 

he   grows   up   thinking   he’ll   go   to   the   stars   .   he’s   smart   &   he’s   sharp   ,   but   he   can’t   ignore   the   way   the   kids   in   his   class   laugh   at   him   ,   how   they   make   fun   of   him   when   he   comes   to   school   with   a   fishbowl   around   his   head   like   he’s   an   astronaut   .   he   doesn’t   fight   back   at   first   because   he   can’t   –   he’s   small   ,   skinny   &   he’s   a   nerd   ;   that’s   how   it   is   &   that’s   just   something   he’ll   have   to   ignore   if   he   wants   to   go   to   space   .

&   so   ,   thirteen   years   of   his   life   he’s   a   nerd   ;   nothing   but   a   skinny   little   boy   with   his   head   stuck   in   a   science   textbook   &   that’s   his   brand   .   but   in   eighth   grade   ,   his   mom   of   tired   of   her   skinny   lil   son   coming   home   with   bruises   &   black   eyes   because   he’s   fighting   his   bullies   ,   so   she   signs   him   up   for   the   swim   team   .   tiny   ,   little   seamus   who   lives   in   a   land-locked   state   ,   forced   to   swim   .

luckily   though   ,   it   all   works   out   for   the   better   .   he   takes   to   water   like   he’s   taken   to   STEM   &   it’s   all   in   his   favor   .   over   the   next   few   years   ,   he   finally   hits   his   growth   spurt   (   say   hello   to   6′2″   ,   seamus   )   &   buffs   out   ,   gaining   a   swimmer’s   body   while   still   keeping   up   his   smart   lil   head   .   he   learns   to   fight   ,   finally   ,   &   people   leave   him   alone   when   they   realize   he’s   no   longer   just   brains   ,   he’s   also   brawn   .   

at   the   end   of   his   high   school   career   ,   stanford   gladly   offers   him   an   athletic   scholarship   &   to   nobody’s   surprise   ,   he’s   accepted   into   the   aeronautics   &   aerospace   engineering   program   .   he   thrives   ,   obviously   ,   balancing   swimming   &   his   heavy   workload   very   well   .   college   is   a   breeze   &   he   loves   it   ,   because   he’s   met   like   minded   people   with   like   minded   goals   &   nobody’s   making   fun   of   him   when   he   snags   an   internship   with   nasa   after   graduation   .

but   ,   his   senior   year   ,   his   youngest   brother   –   the   younger   twin   ,   abraham   ,   is   killed   in   a   freak   accident   &   seamus   doesn’t   hear   about   it   because   he’s   too   busy   .   it   takes   a   full   day   &   over   twenty   people   until   he   hears   the   news   &   it   tears   him   apart   .   abraham’s   death   tears   the   entire   family   apart   –   how   did   a   seventeen   year   old   pass   so   suddenly   &   so   quickly   without   any   warning   ?

well   ,   seamus   doesn’t   ever   return   home   after   the   funeral   .   he   throws   himself   into   work   ,   finishing   his   masters   in   record   time   ,   earning   a   job   at   nasa   by   the   time   he’s   twenty   -   four   .   he’s   a   full   blown   rocket   scientist   &   an   astronaut   in   training   ,   which   should   make   him   happy   but   he’s   felt   nothing   but   childlike   anger   since   abraham’s   death   .   how   unfair   ,   that   death   just   takes   &   takes   &   takes   .

&   death   doesn’t   get   any   kinder   .   twenty   -   five   ,   his   partner   dies   during   flight   training   &   his   mom   passes   suddenly   from   an   illness   nobody   knew   she   had   .   twenty   -   six   &   the   outbreak   starts   .   all   of   his   friends   at   nasa   die   in   front   of   his   eyes   &   by   the   time   he   reconnects   with   his   family   ,   he   learns   his   father’s   passed   getting   his   remaining   brother   out   safely   .   as   the   years   go   by   ,   his   allies   die   ,   his   enemies   die   ,   he   kills   &   he   kills   &   he   chalks   it   up   to   self   defense   ,   but   it   doesn’t   make   him   feel   any   better   .

he   finds   woodbridge   with   his   youngest   brother   by   fluke   ,   only   convincing   them   of   his   worth   when   he   shows   him   a   nasa   id   he   could   never   bring   himself   to   throw   away   .   since   then   ,   he's   kept   his   head   down   &   done   his   work   ,   doing   whatever's   asked   of   him   &   still   keeping   to   himself   .   he's   a   former   rocket   scientist   &   he's   a   smarty   ,   making   him   quite   adaptable   &   able   to   fix   up   almost   anything   inside   the   walls   .   the   guy   to   go   to   when   something   miscellaneous   needs   tweaking   or   fixing   ,   he   gladly   tunes   things   up   for   no   charge   as   long   as   no   questions   are   asked   .

the   final   straw   ,   this   past   year   –   the   death   of   his   brother   who   left   the   safezone   &   never   returned   .   he   left   a   note   &   all   seamus   knows   is   that   he’s   probably   out   there   dead   somewhere   .   looked   hard   for   a   few   weeks   ,   but   has   all   but   given   up   .   it’s   the   apocalypse   ,   death   is   now   a   common   theme   .

𝓲𝓲𝓲.     𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕡𝕠𝕤𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟   .

exterior   ,   he's   found   his   spot   as   a   car   mechanic   .   he   used   to   work   on   rockets   ,   cars   are   much   easier   to   work   with   .   on   the   exterior   ,   he's   a   jocular   guy   who's   known   for   making   dry   jokes   at   the   worst   time   .   selfish   ,   in   the   way   that   he   tends   to   look   out   for   himself   only   in   the   madness   .   he's   got   a   reputation   for   having   a   face   that   makes   him   unapproachable   ,   with   anger   lined   in   his   features   that   make   those   not   want   to   bother   him   – but   ,   most   in   the   safezone   know   that   he's   harmless   (   mostly   )   .   a   soft   space   nerd   with   something   smart   to   say   at   any   time   ,   he's   a   loner   ,   but   he's   good   company   if   you   want   someone   to   listen   or   someone   to   bounce   ideas   off   of   .

interior   ,   there's   a   quiet   rage   that's   been   brewing   in   his   blood   for   years   &   he's   waiting   for   it   to   erupt   .   it   might   ,   if   not   for   the   constant   apathy   that   takes   over   his   brain   every   day   he   wakes   up   .   the   guy   to   go   to   when   something   needs   fixing   ,   seamus   can   hide   his   anger   in   death   &   the   world   very   well   .   he   keeps   it   in   ,   forcing   a   well   rehearsed   smile   &   carefully   chosen   expressions   to   mask   his   inner   thoughts   ,   he   wants   relief   but   he   doesn't   know   where   to   find   it   .

midway   ,   skilled   &   experienced   ,   he's   shied   away   from   the   spotlight   most   of   his   life   .   he's   always   been   one   to   keep   his   head   down   ,   not   bother   anyone   unless   bothered   &   he   intends   to   keep   it   that   way   even   in   the   apocalypse   .   he'll   fix   your   watch   ,   your   car   ,   your   fridge   – whatever   you   need   ,   but   he   won't   give   up   his   background   or   tell   you   why   he   keeps   his   nasa   id   in   his   back   pocket   at   all   times   .   quiet   and   silently   intimidating   ,   even   if   he   doesn't   intend   to   come   off   as   that   .

[heartcravings]

50 Questions Tag!

@jongin-be-my-jagi​ tagged me for this a while ago, but I took my sweet time to answer. Here is my secret intel if you want to know me a little bit more!! Check hers as well, she’s an amazing writer and friend. 1. What takes up too much of your time? Tumblr, my stupid procrastination prone brain and my thesis. 

2. What makes your day better? Friends and loved ones, music and these absolute dorks (Channie especially) 

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today? I hopped on the mat today in the early hours of the morning, rain on my window and the neighbours cat peeking at me from his window across the street.

4. What fictional place would you like to go to? Wonderland, bacause it’s “curiouser and curiouser!”

'Who are you?' said the Caterpillar.  Alice replied, rather shyly, 'I — I hardly know, sir, just at present — at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.'

5. Are you good at giving advice? I think so. Not so good at following my own advice though.  I do always consider where the other is standing and if I don’t know how to proceed then I’ll just be honest and say I can’t help. But i’ll always listen with my heart. 

 6. Do you have any mental illnesses? Not diagnosed. I do think i might be going through something now. 

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? No, but i have a recurring nightmare: the world is made of black and white paper thin layers. I am a paper thin person walking along a street surrounded by paper thin buildings. I walk for a long time, looking up at the white sky. Until the street ends, there is no more building and i fall into the abyss of a blank page.  I have had this dream since the age of 8 or 9 years old. Fear of not being good enough, you say?! Ding, ding, ding!! We got a winner in the back!  8. What musician inspired you the most? I get inspired by music all the time!! One of my all time favourite songs is Spanish Sahara by Foals. Its sublime!

So I’d say I’m mainly inspired by these artists: Queen, Arctic Monkeys, Foals, Radiohead, Bowie, Daughter, Bob Dylan, Beirut, Yeah yeah yeahs, Arcade Fire, The National, Joy Division, Blur, Warpaint, Gorillaz, Sufjan Stevens, Bon Iver, Chet Baker, The Cure, Courtney Barnett, The Maccabees, Car Seat Headrest, Florence + The Machine, Editors, Kasabian, Crystal Fighters, Death Cab for a cutie, The Doors, Efterklang, Explosions in the Sky, Franz Ferdinand, The Horrors, James Blake, José Gonzalez, Los Campesinos!,  Metronomy, Nick Cave, Nina Simone, Patrick Watson,  Phoenix, Sharon Van Etten, The Shins, Simon & Garfunkel, The Smiths, St.Vincent, The Strokes, Toro y Moi, tricot, Tune-Yards, TV on the radio, Unknown Mortal Orchestra, The Vaccines, Vampire Weekend, The Velvet Underground, The War on Drugs, Wild Beasts and Yo La Tengo.

And the electro, pop and hip-hop groves of my heart: EXO, 2NE1, Janelle Monáe, Big Bang, Kris Wu,LCD soundsystem, SBTRKT, Childish Gambino, Frank Ocean, Kendrick Lamar and Daft Punk. 

And special mentions to the portuguese ones (learning from yixing and promoting when i can :P): Capicua, Joana Espadinha, The Legendary Tigerman, Linda Martini, Mayra Andrade, Noiserv, Ornatos Violeta, Paus, Samuel Uria, You Can’t Win Charlie Brown and The Silence 4. I know, tldr right? Sorry folks! 9. Have you ever fallen in love? Yes I have. I have mistaken a crush for love too. But i have definitely been very deeply in love. A wrecked kintsugi heart over here people! 10. What’s your dream date? I don’t think I have one. I’d love to do something unique with that someone special, something special for the two of us. It could be as simple as riding the subway while sharing earphones & listening to our playlist or walking the dogs out! Idk, I’m easy to please. But right now it would have to be with this handsome man :D pretty please?!

11. What do others notice about you? I am very kind and warm hearted, so I think that’s what people first notice when meeting me. Although I maintain good eye contact, I am also timid and will be quieter if there are very energetic people in the group. When alone, I usually take the first step and try to meet people, but only if i really must.  12. What’s an annoying habit you have? It’s really hard for me to ask for help. I also like to tell detailed descriptions of everything... Couldn’t you tell? 13. Do you still talk to your first love? I’ll text him on his birthday and he does the same to me. We met when we were 10 years old and that childhood friendship remains. But regarding my one and truly deep relationship, no we do not talk, unless we randomly meet.

14. How many exes do you have? I have three exes. The first love who was just an idealized crush on my childhood friend: we dated for 2 weeks during summer break xD Then my first real boyfriend, we met in my first year at university, dated for quite some time, he really loved me and made me love myself a little more. Finally the one i loved too much. I mended his wounds and made him love himself as much as I did. I always say all the love we feel makes our hearts grow bigger. I do not regret loving any of them, I am me now due to them and I would not change it if I could. 15. How many songs are in your playlist? I have way too many playlists for each and every mood... But my favourite songs list on spotify has about 1500 songs! uwu!  16. What instruments can you play? Triangles and flute?! I had mandatory music classes in school... so in reality I can’t really play a instrument...

17. Who do you have the most pictures of? Probably my cat, Sushi. With a second close of my doodles and sketches. 

18. Where would you like to go before you die? EVERY WHERE!!! But I really want to go to Japan and Scotland and Iceland and South Korea and New Zealand and i’ll shut up. 19. What’s your zodiac? Capricorn. 20. Do you relate to it? Sort of.

21. What is happiness to you? You know when it’s really cold outside in the winter and you manage to find a sheltered place where no wind can hit you and you still get to feel the warm rays of the winter suns on your skin? You hear the birds outside and you are contempt in that moment, at peace. That is happiness to me.   22. Are you going through anything right now? Yes, I am a bit lost. Trying to finish my thesis and trying to find what I want to do after. It’s liberating but also pretty scary. 23. What’s the worst decision you ever made? It’s a series of small decisions really. It started with going for a phd with the same people i worked in my msc. Should have gone to a different place. Then deciding to come home after a traumatic loss in the family. Should have kept my life going but I stalled it then. (I don’t regret helping my loved ones though).

24. What’s your favourite store? Probably Wishtrend for beauty stuff. Other than that I don’t have any favourite brands/stores. 25. (HALFWAY!) What’s your opinion on abortion? I think everyone is free to decide what they want or need to do. I couldn’t possible judge. If I would it? Probably not.

27. Do you have a favourite album? I don’t think so, I have favourite tunes for different moods and moments in my life. But if threatened with my life, I’d maybe say Total Life Forever from Foals.

28. What do you want for your birthday? It’s such a long time until my birthday comes! But maybe a real EXO ot9 reunion as a goodbye to Minseok?

29. What is most people’s first impression of you? Friendly and easy to open up to, i think.

30. What age do you seem according to most people? In real life, people usually think I am way younger than I am.  31. Where do you keep your phone when you’re sleeping? In the crook of my bed, between the mattress and the bed frame.

32. What word do you say the most? No idea really! 33. What’s the oldest age you’d date? 40s? I don’t think too much about age actually. 

34. What’s the youngest age you’d date? 20s? Again not very important to me. Love is love, whomever, whenever and wherever <3

35. What job / career do most people say would suit you? I don’t know! People always say i don’t totally fit in anything... so there’s that. If you have an idea please let me know! 36. What’s your favourite music genre? Go back to question 8. I listen to everything! :D 37. If you could live in any country in the world where would it be? I’d like to live around the world, every few months a different place and get to know different cultures.

38. What is your current favourite song? I’ve been obsessed with RM’s intro/teaser song, Map of the Soul: Persona. (I’m not even a bts fan, but this music and lyrics just touched me a lot.)

39. How long have you had this blog for? I think for about 6 years? It’s my personal space, where I dump all my obsessions.  

40. What are you excited for? I’m visiting some friends in Granada in a couple of weeks. Yay, tapas!

41. Are you a better talker or listener? Normally I am a better listener. But there are a few people to whom i open like a book. Either words flow right out of me without even thinking or they see throw me. Those truly are my people.

42. What is the last productive thing you did? Prepped meals and cleaned the kitchen. Open the folder and file of my thesis. Read the latest chapter I wrote.  43. What do you want for Christmas? Well, just like for my birthday, there is still such a long time to it! But let’s say i want to have already finish this part of my life and want to find my next adventure.

44. What class do you get the best grades in? No more exams! Ehehe! But I used to have good grades at everything. Physical Education was my lowest mark i think.

45. On a scale of 1-10 how do you feel right now? Right now, a 4? I have a headache.

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years? Smiling? :D I want to be happy in my own skin. To feel contempt in my life, doing something that gives me a sense of purpose and having time to share and enjoy with my friends and family. 47. When did you get your first heartbreak? Oh my kintsugi heart has been broken quiet a lot. By friends and lovers and even by myself. I keep patching it up with gold dreams though.  48. At what age do you wanna be married? I will only want to be married if i find the one. So until then I guess. 

49. What career did you want to have as a child? I wanted to be an astronaut and a ballerina. Preferably both!

50. What do you crave right now? Just sitting somewhere and listening to Yeol play the guitar.

Well i finished it! :D I’ll tag @thedeviousdo @ohsenhun @hongseok and @paepsi. I’d love to read yours! Feel free to dismiss it though, it is quite a lot.  Lots of love everyone!! <3 <3 <3

[jinnielovebot]

"𝕤𝕠𝕗𝕥" 𝕓𝕚𝕒𝕤 𝕥𝕒𝕘

tagged by: @threeracha uwu

tagging: @bangs-chan @huynjn @bangchans @hyunjeno @himeaegyo @realstraykids @hyunnlix @hanlix @straylov @district9sgf @strgaykids @chrsbng @chanscurls @straycuties @jikseu @3rachans @scene-stealers (´・ω・`) get soft my dudes

who is my bias?

ajdkdk i did this before for hyunjin alrdy so imma do it for mr lee know this time owo

what’s your favorite thing about them?

when hes not fckin loud

jk i love how hes like,,,so determined n driven like having to learn how to rap during the survival show n being sososo strong even after he got eliminated :((( and also his stage presence GODOAHDSKJAHDKJ he just oozes charisma n its just NOT OKAY SOMETIMES ;____; and i love how hes just like,,,,,,so blunt abt everything n is cheeky AF at times ahskjda im getting war flashbacks to the pic of him n his hand FIRMLY PLANTED ON CHANGBINS LEG n i love how hes just so playful n cute n hes like 2000% the type of person id prob get along w rlly well ahskdja he rlly reminds me of my sis n my best friend meaning he stresses me out n makes me wanna clock him every breathing second 

who would initiate skinship more?

AJDKDK HIM o my god he literallt gives zero shits when it comes to skinship n i can alrdy imagine him just randomly likw,,,giving tackle hugs when im just tryna mind My Own business n hes probably even more likely to initiate skinship in public bc hes rlly just a little ho whomst i love :///

who would hog the blankets more?

honestly ME AKDKDKDK i get cold so easily n if im not burritoed thr fuc up in 5 blankets then imma b PRESSED n also COLD so idc if he gets cold at night i need my blankets ://

who would be more clingy?

me bc i need attention n validation 25/8 meanwhile he’ll send me snaps w captions saying like “having fun w/o u 😜” n then i deck him

who would say ‘i love you’ first?

i FEEL LIKE I WLD EVEN THO I GET LIKE HELLA  STRESSED TRYNA SAY I LOV U IN PERSON but hes the type to b like “not until u say it first” and i just AJDKDKDK HAVE TO GIVE IN BC I NEED VALIDATION IN MY LIFE

what cuddling position would you two have?

he is on one end of the bed and i am AS FAR AS POSSIBLE ON THE OPPOSITE END in order to suppress my urge to kick him off the bed,,,romantic i kno right 😔✊💓

which colors remind you of them and why?

he reminds of like,,green and fiery red,,,,,,,,so like christmas colors 🤪

which season would you like to spend with them?

fall/winter!! ajdkdk im love going out on walks at night w him or going to restaurants at like 2am sjkdk and also fall/winter is Prime canoodling season SO

who would bake the cookies and who would steal the batter?

u think our dead asses have time to bake NO we’re eating out

which one of you would make bad puns and how would the other react?

BOTH OF US WOULD MAKE BAD JOKES AJDKDK but his would b so bad i wld rlly haveto get my tinder profile prwpared for the day he CROSSES the line w the bad puns :///

who would want to adopt 50 dogs and cats?

DILEMMA bc he wants cats n i want dogs 

which one of you would nearly burn down the kitchen trying to microwave a pop tart and who would come to the rescue?

i wld set the kitchen on fire n then he wld call out my -5 iq :’(

who likes to lean over trail railings and who pulls them back?

ajdkd him but HE WLD ONLY DO IT TO TEASE ME KSKD bc im like terrified of heights and railings so he wld do it for fun to try n scare me n make me pull him back but one day,,ONE DAY ill tell him do it fucker i DARE u

what would watching a horror film with them be like?

me tryna close my eyes SHUT n covering them w my hands n then him tryna pry my hands away from my eyes nd pranking me at night n jumping out of closets to scare me :/

who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt?

im the cheesy flirt bc idk how to flirt nd hes the smooth flirt bc every time he breathes its like hes TRYNA get in some1s pants

who is more competitive?

he wld be SO FKCING ANNOYING ABOUT EVERYTHING LIKE “bet u cant finish your food faster than me lets race” or “imma destroy u in mario kart loser has to sleep outside” or “BEST OUT OF THREE COWARD” and ill tell him to stfu but ofc he never does 😪😪😪

who would be given constant reminders? (don’t forget your keys, remember to eat, etc.)

both of us??? TBH IM TERRIBLE AT REMEMBERING TO EAT AND WORK AND AJDKKDK so that is y im so dependent on other ppl tbh LMFAOO n i wld needa remind him too bc he hella reckless n ends up not takint care of himself 

who sends memes and who sends cute ‘i miss you’ texts at three am?

ALSO BOTH AJSJS bc sometimes im in a soft mood n i just wanna tell him i romantically appreciate his existence n then other nights i just wanna overload his phone w reaction gifs n kermit memes :/// n sometimes he tries to b srs n admit is lov but 90% of tje time he can only communicate thru shitty memes ://

[cttrajan1206]

I posted 8,386 times in 2021

17 posts created (0%)

8369 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 492.3 posts.

I added 357 tags in 2021

#cttrajan - 222 posts

#lookie! - 22 posts

#crowls - 22 posts

#nevale - 17 posts

#tw: gif - 17 posts

#gif - 17 posts

#nevan - 11 posts

#orion nebula sys - 10 posts

#soul - 10 posts

#mono - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 132 characters

#i have known him for five minutes since u first posted abt him and if anything happens to him i will murder myself and everyone else

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Jumping in for a moment

K I’m certain no one’s gonna see this haha BUT I wanna make a post about an author I adore and look upto a lot

@/chivalrousamour on AO3!!! God they have a tumblr now i can’t tag them now sodifhser

THIS PERSON HAS MADE 300 FICS FOR THIS ONE FANDOM OF THEIRS, Confession Executive Committee as part of Honeyworks, AND 288 OF THEM ARE FOR A SINGLE SHIP AND YET EACH AND EVERY FIC IS ABSOLUTELY MARVELLOUS AND STUNNING

I haven’t finished readin gthem all but I plan to eventually and I just need everyone to KNOW that they’re super amazing and awesome and have inspired me for so much

5 notes • Posted 2021-03-17 21:17:16 GMT

#4

http://launchgood.com/homes4refugees21

My friend is doing some charity work for ramadan! Pls click the link and donate if you can! Or share and reblog.

5 notes • Posted 2021-04-17 14:45:21 GMT

#3

Hey! I noticed you wrote a liphiyo fic and I gotta say, it was wonderful~! 🧡🧡🧡 I'm gonna support you as a fan of your fic and a fellow fan of chivalrousamour UwU

AKSHSJSJJSJSJSSD AAAHHH???

oh ny god?? Thank you?? God i need to check tumblr more often again akdbd i competely missed this im so sorry im also tho just

AAAAA??

Thank you so much QAQ i was rly worried when i wrote the liphiyo fic because im not like. Fully in in the fandom and mainly know things through chivalrousamour's fics. Plus im mainly writing twisted wonderland things,, but thank you for the support, ill return every ounce of it back to you too!! I've seen you commenting on a bunch of chivalrousamour's fics and im glad someone else appreciates them as much as I do UvU

5 notes • Posted 2021-03-31 23:56:20 GMT

#2

uwu imagine laying in bed with Ruggie. It's his first break from all of his part time jobs and you two just sit and do your own thing. You watching videos, or sniping others on discord. Ruggie is scrolling through his phone on what to get for dinner. And it's such a nice moment for you two. Cuddling. Legs tangled together as the sun slowly starts to set as Ruggie rest his head on your neck as this moment is simple yet also comforting. A lazy bot also a relaxing day for you both.

oh fuck you

33 notes • Posted 2021-05-23 23:25:47 GMT

#1

#arrow sys#Love them#Absolute sweethearts all of em#And suoer fun to sprint with

FIRST OF ALL SOBS /pos

second,,, i know nothing abt twst or obey me but grabby hands at a ramble; i will absolutely listen if you wanted to talk about it :starry:

JSHDJF [WAILS ALOUD] I TOOK SO LONG SO GET BACK TO YOU THAT I FINISHED ONE OF THE WIPS IN THAT TIME LMAO!!

Well!! This is good promo! :> The one that i was typing up is finished now and it's the obey me fic! You can find it here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33644662

Mammon and Movies:

Basically! Someone read another fic of mine that included my self insert flappy stimming and also getting mental breakdown so it asked if i could include a couple other stims in another work since he enjoyed my first one! I. Took that request and made an entire fic dedicated to him lmao. So! I asked it later on for what it would like me to include and which character to use and here we are!

This is a 4K fic of Mammon from Obey Me paired with a Neurodivergent!Reader. The plot is that of him showing you a magic trick and smoothly whipping out a movie ticket!! You've been wanting to ask him to see a movie with you for a while so this is perfect! So perfect in fact that you're overwhelmed with happiness and have a brief moment of being nonverbal as you're overwhelmed with euphoria. Then the next day, you meet him at the venue and the date begins! Other scenes include him allowing you to hold onto his bracelets as it's one of your stims (he wears one of every texture to accomodate to your tastes), you dissociating out of anxiety in a movie theatre and him helping to ground you, and finally! Him sleeping on your shoulder before the movie ends.

Ik i kinda just said the majority of the plot lmao but! Its just a fluffy and sweet movie date! I enjoyed writing it a lot although i got about 80% of it done a month ago and tyn didn't touch it for like 2 weeks sjdbsjd i was p sad abt that. I like finishing things quickly esp when its for other people!! But it was a comfort during a hard time to write this work at 2am under the light of a night lamp and to the tune of street life ambience.

ALSO I FOUND OUT THAT MAMMONS OFFICIAL SONG "ARE YOU READY" LEGIT HAS NO HOURLONG LOOPS AND THAT WAS A HARD HIT TO ME BC LIKE I WANTED TO LISTEN TO IT ON TV BUT IT WASNT HAPPENINGGG TWT WHY DOES EVERYONE LIKE ALL THE OTHER OTHER BROTHER'S SONGS INSTEAD LIKE PLSSS

Anyway lmao i'm quite happy with this work, it feels very round and finished to me which makes me happy because it means I didn't need to worry about editing it to feel satisfied. The requester liked it a lot too! Which made me super super happy. :>

Now!! For the twisted wonderland!! That’s a comfort plotline of mine that doesn’t really have a title yet and is still a wip that is written through my friend’s DMs BUT! I will also take the time to promo my twst writing blog! It is dead QvQ On there, you can see a bit more about the self insert in question but for now, i’ll just put the ship name as the title.

https://twst-sumi-squad.tumblr.com/

Kalim Al-Asim X Sumi Bint Khattar (Plot line):

So!! This one stemmed from me drawing something out of self indulgence and to show it to my friend, I described Sumi B in full and then I told them about my ships and around that time I had like five love songs I was obsessed with. And for each of them. I had. A separate animatic. For like at least 1 ship, the average was two but one had three. Sumi B was the centre of the most ships but not the only one. Anyway!! I told my friend about this and asked if I could dump my ideas onto them! They agreed and I started with a summarised version but then realised I needed a bit more build up so I started to write it in a bit more detail. Hah. It ended up being a Lot More Detailed but even then, I would write the scenes in a much more fluid and descriptive way if it were Real Writing so! I call it a Plotline. It is very long.

The plot itself is. long now. it’s a slowburn lmao because most if not all of my self insert ships tend to be slowburns. But this one? This particular self insert? Sumi B? Yeah she’s the only one with trust issues so she mothers the BIGGEST slowburns known to history. It takes them a year before she even considers him a friend despite seeing him every day and also having multiple deep conversations with him. Anyway though, this one is a big comfort becuase it has something I didn’t really dare to do before. Kalim, the canon character, falls in love with my oc first. Normally I have it the other way round becuase I’m too scared to assume that I would be like, deserving or like desirable enough for someone to have a crush on me. But with Sumi B, even I have a goddamn crush on her lmao. I indulge myself a bit with this one and really play around with emotions and!! In the most recent scene! We have finally reached the part where she actually starts to love him back! :D

I started this one a loooong time ago, at least a month and maybe two? It was Intended to be finsiehd in one night and then i got carried away and my friend got invested and then I ALSO got invested and so I started to develop the plot further so make it more interesting and keep the buildup going. It’s very fun and though i try to limit myself to summarising actions and dialogue, i fail. very often. so it often has little tidbits of more beautiful sentences and tension lmao. 

This particular fic is based off of my imagined animatic for the song “Would you be so kind” by Dodie! I didn’t know about the song until i saw other people’s animatics and I ended up taking it and running away haha! I’m currently really happy with it however I am really dreading the day where I actually write it out properly. If I don’t? I don’t know. Maybe I’ll post the plotline by itself. I have another fic just like it, one with a different self insert who (in fact) is very very close with Sumi B and considers her his older sister, that i ALSO wrote in semi detailed plot lines in someone’s DMs. Both are massive comforts to me and though i love them, their plot lines are so goddamn long that i will dread the day i decide to write them all out.

So uhm!!! Yeah!! XDD Those are the two fics I was talking about! I hope you enjoyed my small ramblings about them haha. I’m starting college soon though so I fear I might have much more time for fanfic.

42 notes • Posted 2021-09-03 18:14:02 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[london-duchess]

New favorite period drama show?..

...I would say yes!!

Hello, I know I never speak here but I feel compelled to spread the word of the lord (?)

We recently bought a subscription to the British streaming service AcornTV that offers a selection of Brit (and in this case Australian) telly shows. The service is pretty new, so the content is limited, but I guarantee it is 100% worth it.

I discovered this particular Aussie show called A Place To Call Home and fell head over heels for it, and I know you period drama lovers will too, so here is my attempt to make y’all give it a try and the attention it deserves (little remark: I haven’t finished it, I’m halfway through s2, so keeping it spoiler free, please!)

Also, AcornTV only has the first 3 seasons, so prayer chain for them to upload the rest.

The story follows Sarah Adams, a nurse who returns to her birthplace, the city of Sidney, in the 1950′s, after living around two decades in Europe. She comes home to see her elderly mother, but gets rejected by her for a choice she made in Europe for love. In a flashback, we can see that Sarah, in the ship were she worked while traveling back to Sidney, meets a handsome rich man, Mr. George Bligh, and it’s quite predictable these two will have something in the future. After being rejected by her mother, Sarah contacts Mr. Bligh again, and there the story unfolds, this time, in his hometown, Inverness.

Introducing the characters:

Sarah Adams: She’s a nurse with a mysterious past that haunts her, involving her experiences in World War II (I’m not going to spoil anything for you). She comes back from Europe after suffering unspeakable ordeals during the war, including the loss of her beloved. She feels immediate interest in George Bligh when they meet on the ship, and he will make her believe in love again in a passionate romance. 

Her arrival in the conservative Anglican town of Inverness causes scandal for many motives, one of them being her different religion, and modern views and lifestyle. But we all love her, because she’s a baby that needs to be protected uwu.

George Bligh: Alexa play Lay All Your Love On Me by ABBA. Rich land owner, father of two young-adult kids, Anna and James. He’s also a widower, and still misses his late wife, until he meets Sarah and gives himself the chance to love again...if his mama lets him, of course.

You either love him or hate him, but I like him, since he is 50% of my OTP and SO FAR has shown to be a noble and loyal man (if only he was able to send his mother a la mierdaaaaaaa) . Extra points because actor Brett Climo was hot in the 80′s.

Elizabeth Bligh: The matriarch who doesn’t want her son to resolve his Oedipus complex and see Sarah, considering her “inferior” to them for not being rich and being working class. She will do anything in her power to avoid Sarah ending up with George, and she is very respected and feared in town, so she has a good ammount of influence. To quote the cinematic masterpiece Mean Girls: “That’s why her hair is so big, she’s full of secrets” She has secrets that can jeopardize the whole town and the relationships within the Bligh family. (Damn, I can’t imagine this family playing UNO in a game night)

You either hate her or you hate her, if you like her you’re a psychopath, point blank period. But actress Noni Hazlehurst is freaking fantastical.

Anna Bligh: Queen, fairy, goddess, ethereal being of light, I will protecc with my life. She is the youngest daughter of George and his deceased wife. She’s a happy-go-lucky girl living her best life full of joy and adventure, not wanting to be tied to a man she doesn’t love just for compromise. She is in a secret relationship with Gino, her longtime love, but oh! he’s a farmboy and Grandma would never approve. Just like her father, she will dive into a flaming hot romance with Gino, that they will have to hide from everyone to avoid scandals.

You love her or love her! She’s sweet but tough as hell, determined and smart. She loves Sarah, and encourages her father to go for her. Oh, and there are secrets involiving her, of course, nothing seems like it seems here.

James Bligh: George’s eldest son, and Grandma’s favorite.James is married to Olivia, a Brtish girl with a high status, but it is clear from the beginning that he is unhappy in his marriage and there is a reason for that: he’s in love with someone else, but that love torments him to the point of almost driving him mad. Elizabeth knows about this, so they try to hide it, without success, obviously, because Olivia finds out (whoopsies! little spoiler). 

Honestly? I feel so much compassion for him, and admiration, but I won’t say why, because it’s a major spoiler.

Olivia “Livvy” Bligh: James’s wife who happens to be pregnant with his child. She might seem naive or weak, but she’s incredible. She can’t stand Elizabeth, so when she finds out about James’s feelings for someone else, her heartbreak changes her, for the better. She does love him deeply, and she will be with him in every step of the way, even after realizing that that “someone else” might be the least expected person.

Look at that face, she’s an angel, I want to take her home, tuck her in and give her soup.

Doctor Jack Duncan: The town’s physician and longtime friend of the family. He’s like a son to Elizabeth and grows interest in Sarah when she starts to work at his hospital. He’s also a deeply tormented character with flaws galore. He’s mentally ill, but nobody can know about it. But... Is he more than just a friend to the Blighs?

Love him, he needs a break, like me.

Gino Poletti: Anna’s lover, Italian farmboy, good Catholic boy, He loves Anna with all his heart and if these two don’t marry, I’m suing.

Regina: George’s wife’s sister. (Okay but, Regina George? This cannot be a coincidence). Hija de p*ta, f*rra, comem!erda, conch*da, ojalá te pise un camión. We hate her, she’s a Nazi, nothing more to say.

Bonus characters that are la crème de la crème:

Doris Collins: the town’s parrot. She knows all the gossip, and spreads the rumors like wildfire, but she’s not bad though! She just never shuts up.

Roy Briggs: The town’s loner. At first he seemed like an antisocial but in less than two seasons he shows his true colors as a great guy you can hang out with, have a beer and talk about life with. Sarah and him are my BROTP.

To wrap it up: it’s a wonderful show full of modern topics such as women’s independence from men, domestic violence, and even LGBTQ. Plus, being a period drama *chef kiss*

Sorry about the length of the post, but I’m hyped.

Again, keep it spoiler free please! I’m not looking in the tag. Have a good day, you may keep scrolling <3