#one day I'll give you my rant about realism

[wordsandrobots]

Having spent this week watching the full original 1979 Gundam anime, I feel confident in saying Tomino's authorial instincts were on the money when it comes to the compilation movies. It's not that the anime is a significantly worse story, simply that he zeroed in on what could be cut out to the benefit of the story he was trying to tell.

(I'm aware of the deal with the G-armour, though I didn't mind it much as presented, aside from my "multi-part mobile suits are a really daft idea with no practical justification, and that would be *fine* if you weren't trying to press the big 'realism' button" in terms of context. Overall, the core boosters and guncannons make more sense than the armour and guntank, especially when we hit the proper space-battle stage.)

Still could have lost Sleggar entirely, but that just ties into the handling of the female characters and the perpetual frustration of them being distinct, capable, even interesting in outline and then shoved into stock 'woman' roles on a narrative level. Tomino got better at this stuff! But . . . he needed to get better at this stuff and it took until 1999.

Also, there should obviously have been a spin-off where Kai and Sayla go on a platonic road-trip to deal with their trauma/get into sci-fi spy shenanigans while poor Bright is off having his extended breakdown in the military. (Sayla has the potential to be a much more interesting main character and Kai hits a great sweet-spot between 'not-so selfish coward' and 'fuck all of you, I'm actually good at this'.)

*sigh*

Well, now I'm all ready to go watch Requiem for Vengeance, which I fully expect to live down to my expectations.

[themaeve]

AHHHHH! Memoire 61.5 of the Case Study of Vanitas just dropped! I'm loving everything about where we are going with this dham arc!

We are finally getting more on the whole business with where dhampirs stand in this society. Feared by humans as being too close to vampires, looked down on and at one point hunted(!) by vampires. And wow are the Count's people prejudiced as fuck. The only reason Dhampirs have "the right to exist" is because they are under the eccentric Marquis Machina's protection.

Watching Johann and Riche broke my heart this chapter. The way they both reached for their glasses when it was mentioned how dhams are revealed by their eyes. Riche was visibly scared the entire time and Johann was trying his best to comfort her. It really characterizes Dante, the member of the Dham trio who doesn't wear glasses, and is also almost always the most loud and proud of the three. Dante doesn't give a single fuck to "hide" his eyes.

Bless Noe, calling bullshit on everyone with "Isn't it just less confusing to just call people by their name?" Love that man so much. Vanitas stifling his laughter at Noe's wholesome honesty. Perfect.

I also really appreciate Domi's bits this chapter. My girl thinks she is so progressive with her whole "Being prejudiced in this day and age? How unattractive." And then only minutes later getting somewhat called out by Noe for never even learning Dante's name. Domi learning that she ain't above being prejudiced and that she needs to do better. Not being outwardly hateful is the bare fucking minimum. I love that last panel of her, that mix of embarrassment, panic, and palpable shame she feels with herself. The way she got really quiet and shut down. It hurt to watch in a good way. I've been there Domi. You gotta collect yourself, learn from your mistakes, identify and overcome your personal biases. Don't fall back into more self-hatred, you can do it girl! God I love her so much.

Also, I love that last panel of pissed off Dante! Dude is so over this conversation. Staring daggers at Noe like "Is this some kind of fucking White Knight routine of yours or are you genuinely this naive and friendly?" Good sir I eagerly await your angry rant next chapter. Fucking go off my dude.

This chapter had so much emotion from everyone. Hate, anger, fear, shame, love. All of it on display. As much as I have really started to hate the "fantasy racism" cliche, I'll give this one credit for some realism in displays of prejudice and the subtle effects it has on its targets. While I don't have experience being the target of racist prejudice, I do have experience being the target of queerphobic prejudice. The dhams really hit with me, especially the lines calling them "half-formed things, neither fish nor fowl." Like, yep I'm trans and non-binary, I've heard and seen that type of shit said before.

The way Riche and Johann reached instinctively for their glasses when it was mentioned how the uncontrollable gold flashes of their eyes give them away to humans. I felt that, being "revealed" by features of your body and being instinctually self conscious about them. Trying to hide the things that "give you away". I still remember when Jeanne was trying to figure out if Johann was human or vampire, watching the anime, hearing the tired and thorny contempt in Johann's voice with the delivery of "Nope, I'm a dham." Shivers. Same fucking energy of delivering "I'm nonbinary" to random people for fuckteenth flippin time watching the fucking look in their eye change as they realize what I am. Then, Johann catches himself after saying it, realizing Jeanne didn't mean any offense, that his tone was too prickly. She just genuinely didn't know. You can feel how Johann is always on guard. Always having to be prepared for people who think he doesn't have "the right to exist." I felt that.

I'm optimistic for how the story handles this arc. I'm praying it's good and doesn't fall for the problematic elements of "fantasy racism" tropes. The way this chapter handled Domi makes me hopeful. That and anymore material we get on Dante, Johann, and Riche is a win in my book.

[boasamishipper]

Hi, I’m intrigued by the Night Court content I’m seeing from you. How did you start up with this show from 40 years ago? Which episodes give you Harry/Dan vibes? (Truly curious! I’m watching the show rn on FreeVee because of you.)

how did i begin watching night court, you ask?

okay so the story ACTUALLY begins several months earlier. i'd been seeing ads for new night court on tv, and i was like hey!! that's the guy from richie rich!! and so i looked up old night court on tvtropes and ao3, found some fics for the show, skimmed them, and moved on with my life.

THEN in november 2023 i got laid off (corporate reorgs my detested) (dw i have since found a new job) and started looking for non-indeed.com ways to fill my hours. cue another commercial for new night court, which was returning to nbc in january. huh, thought i, jokingly. wonder if anybody on here watches this.

one quick tumblr search informed me that there were, in fact, other people who watched this show. specifically the original show. and then i saw this post, thought 'boy that judge and that prosecutor sure have Something going on' and proceeded to devour all nine seasons over the course of two months. (then i caught up with the reboot and watched s2 as it aired.) i posted my first fic, Zeitnot, nine days after i started watching the show, and told my bestie caroline that now that it was up, i had gotten all of my night court thoughts and feelings out of my system and would shortly go back to finishing my other wips.

(narrator voice) she did not, in fact, get all her night court thoughts and feelings out of her system.

anyway so 90k+ words of night court fic later here i Still Am and here i Still Plan To Be for a good long while.

so why night court?

well, to begin, it's the wildest show i have ever seen in my life. it's set in - you guessed it - the night shift of a manhattan arraignment court during the 1980s. the judge (harry stone, played by harry anderson) is a gangly goofy cutie pie dork who loves magic and mel torme and sees the best in people and has the saddest backstory of any of the cast. the prosecutor (dan fielding, played by john larroquette, who won four emmy awards in a row for this role and would have won more if he hadn't taken himself out of consideration to give someone else a chance to win) is a womanizing lecherous pervert with a heart of gold, a sharp tongue, thick hair, and an ass you can bounce a quarter off of. harry shoots plastic snakes in dan's face in their very first meeting and by the end of the show the two are partners in shenanigans and platonic soulmates and perv4perv best friends. (another anon asked me my top harry/dan episodes; i'll answer that in their ask.) other characters include Tall As Fuck Intimidating Ditzy Bailiff Bull Shannon (richard moll), Spunky Naive Morally Upright Prude Public Defender Christine Sullivan (markie post), Hot Court Clerk Who Is Done With Everyone's Shit But Will Nonetheless Participate In The Shenanigans Mac Robinson (charlie robinson), and a collection of short, snarky, tough as nails bailiffs (selma diamond in s1-2, florence halop in s3, and marsha warfield in s4-s9).

the show is incredibly funny. if you don't like one joke wait five seconds and there will be another, even funnier one. physical comedy galore. hijinks and shenanigans everywhere. logic and realism? don't know her. wile e coyote once showed up as a defendant. dan once got so horny he locked himself in a closet and shoved a firehose down his pants. in another episode bull twisted dan into a human pretzel. it has to be seen to be believed.

but what i love most about night court is its heart (something that the sequel series has not found yet, but that's a rant for another day). the characters (at least as long as reinhold weege was involved with the show - again, a rant for another day) feel like real people. they have real flaws. they make hard decisions. they love with all their hearts, and we love them for it. they hurt, and we hurt with them. and the show - especially in the earlier seasons - balances the heart with the humor incredibly well. in 4.01, harry tries to reach out to his mother, who abandoned him when he was five, only to find out that she died, and the show does not shy away from his pain and conflicted emotions. that's the a-plot of the episode. in the b-plot, a ventriloquist's dummy commits suicide. not the ventriloquist. the dummy. and it's one of the best episodes of a start to finish stellar season.

and if you are still not convinced to give the show a try, watch this compilation of the best dan fielding moments. then watch all nine seasons of night court (available for free on freevee!) for more.

[fatratinatrenchcoat]

Mini Rant: Sims 4 Baby Carriers and Changing Tables

Carriers are so useless. I put my baby in it and my sims can't do anything, she may as well just hold it. Okay, the can jog and cook (I think) and clean with them on their back, but why wouldn't I just put them on the playmat to do that? My sim is in the political career... why can't she protest with the baby on her back? Why can't my sim put twin one on her back and hold twin two? Does anyone genuinely use these?

And don't get my STARTED on changing tables. I hate them. The concept of them are cool and it does add realism into the game which is nice. But I wish I could play with it like I play with laundry. If I have a functional hamper or washer/dryer in my house then clothes pile up. If I have a changing table in my house, diapers should pile on my floor when I don't use it. And the only reason I'm complain about this is that my sim won't autonomously change their infants and toddlers at the damn table so diapers end up everywhere unless I am constantly checking. And then there's the stupid, useless newborn. It's stuck to the bassinet so when it needs changed the diaper just ends up on the floor even if I have a changing table WITH a trashcan connected to it. Like, excuse me? My sims tend to go into labor at night so I barely have to deal with this but I could only imagine how frustrating this is if you want to "play" with a newborn for a day.

Don't even get me STARTED with the sims emptying the trash just to throw it on the floor and go "eeeewwww, there's garbage on the floor!" as if they didn't just put it there. Not to mention, my sims have been ignoring my commands recently? This might just be a me problem but I'll tell them to give the baby a bath and they'll queue it up just to ignore me and go get a glass of water (I hate that stupid get a drink feature). Like okay your baby is about to get taken by social services but you go get yourself a drink that'll take you a week to finish.

[active-mind-15]

For the fruit ask thingy 🥝🍐🍈🍍

🥝 - What's your favorite trope/AO3 tag to write?

I gave a couple in a different ask, so I'll give you another!

I'm starting to really like the 'fantasy' and 'magic realism' tags. I read a lot of fics from there, so it's something I'm very familiar with. Especially any fics that have to do with covens. Vampire or otherwise. That inspired me to start writing magic realism, but sometimes it's hard. I'll keep at it, though!

🍐 - Is there anything in canon that you absolutely hate and love to fix in fics? A wrong choice made, a fuck-up in characterization, a misunderstanding never cleared up, a conversation never shown onscreen, etc...

*gives a deep spiritual sigh* You know my account. All I ever talk about is the wasted potential of the complexities of Akashi's character and the lack of closure we got with his arc, or even just the way we talk about how much we want to see him genuinely happy for once. So many of my fics are dedicated to exploring his character in a way we never got in the anime/manga. I've also explored his parents in a past fic, too. Mainly his father, but you get my drift. I think I'll always continue to explore Akashi in various ways because that's my only coping mechanism for dealing with how he was treated in canon.

🍈 - Who's your blorbo, and what are some of your favorite headcanons/ideas about them that repeatedly show up in your fics? Free pass to rant about blorbo opinions.

If anybody knows my account, y'all know one of my ultimate blorbos is Akashi. I talk about him damn near every day on here and post headcanons for him on the regular. I don't think I need to say much about that. Just click on the 'akashi seijuro' tag on my page and you'll see just how much I talk about him.

As for fave headcanons and ideas about him that show up repeatedly in my fics, I suppose I enjoy writing touch-starved Akashi a lot. I like seeing my fave characters get the love they deserve, and so I will always find an excuse to write about Akashi getting a well-deserved cuddle. And if I can't find an excuse, I will make one.

Cuz man, he really seems like he could benefit from a hug or two a day with the shit he's been through, and since I can't physically hug Akashi myself, writing scenarios where he's doted on is my next best shot. I always feel like he secretly wants to engage in more physical contact with his friends, but he doesn't know how to ask for something like that. The poor thing. 😔💔

🍍 - What kind of AUs do you like? Are there any AUs that you hate or just generally have beef with?

I love AUs in which an event in canon is explored more thoroughly or from a different perspective. I also like fantasy AUs and soulmate AUs. Anything whimsical or heartwarming is up my alley.

In terms of any AUs I have beef with... hm, not to say I have beef, but I usually don't read that many mafia AUs. At least not in the BTS fandom. They tend to be very explicit in a way I'm not a big fan of. That's why I'm also careful about reading fics with an omegaverse premise, too. It's not a bad AU premise. It can just be a lot for me. No shade to anyone who writes for these.

[jamesshawgames]

Does Zhu have any feelings about a ftm Spillane that doesn't make a lot of effort to transition or pass? I'm doing a playthrough romancing him with my oc Victor (who is Addressed like a man but doesn't have body dysphoria, only voice dysphoria) and I just wondered if Zhu has any Specific feelings about such a thing. I imagine that Zhu may have dealt himself with some people feminizing him in a way that makes him uncomfortable, and wondered if he might therefore Get It to an extent; that the shape and size of a non-transitioning m!Spillane, or how masculinely he may or may not present himself, doesn't impact his identity, and understand that he Is a man no matter what. The unwanted feminization of men like Zhu (asian men with "pretty" features and slimmer stature) is a cis issue and doesn't quite match up for obvious reasons, but I can't help but think there might be some understanding there because of it.

Also as a trans non binary individual, the representation in your series almost brought me to tears. It's gorgeous and amazing and I also love that instead of the choices being more like "cis guy" "cis girl" "non binary person" the clothing and pronoun options make it clear that you can present differently from your pronouns, and doesn't impose cisness onto you. I saw that you got some commenters on the forums saying that it was "immersion breaking" but honestly? The way you portray it ISN'T. It gives hope, it gives this admittedly slightly idealistic image of queer people EXISTING back in the day, acknowledgimg that that often leads to consequences without erasing us like the history books tend to. In history focused media and conversations people so often only talk about us in a way that directly references the violence and disgust we were treated with, ignoring the fact that we DID exist, even if we had to live quietly. Its such a beautiful and hopeful thing to be portrayed and I'm extremely glad to see you holding ground against people that want us to be erased for the sake of immersion. It's clear that had it been integral to a story line for you to do so, you could've gender-locked the character (just like you white-passing locked them due to That One Plotline) and I'm very glad you didn't need to do so.

Anyways sorry for the rambling... I just really love this series and everything in it.

Thanks so much for the lovely ask!

Zhu is essentially demiromantic and pansexual. What matters to him is not the gender identity of a potential partner, but the strength of emotional attachment he feels toward them. So, if he feels connected enough to Victor to want to date him, that's the only important thing. Zhu himself is cis, but he does understand that gender is not as simple as the traditional binary, in part because, as you say, he has had some experience of being seen in a slightly feminized way himself.

Thank you so much for your nice comments on representation! And yes, I've had a little bit of pushback from some people, mostly on grounds of "realism" or "historical accuracy". If people want to complain about "historical accuracy" in the Relics series, then they can, but IMO they should probably start by complaining about the magic stones and the aliens, rather than jumping straight to complaining about the existence in the games of people with non-traditional gender identities, who have always existed whether they like it or not.

I'll stop before this becomes a rant. Thanks again for the ask!

[nixotinix]

Which class to take to level 20?

Happy 4/20! It's me again. Bet y'all are reeeal tired of my bullshit now. Today I'll be looking through the level 20 bonuses for each class listed in the Player's Handbook & Artificer. I've only ever played a warlock and fighter, but I have a decent enough understanding of how D&D works to rank these. These will be ranked from worst to best, and of course, all of this is my own opinion. At number 13, and the worst Level 20 bonus is..

-Foe Slayer: Ranger-

Look. I have a ranger/rogue that plays with me in my party. I love her and her player, she's a sweetie. But there's a reason she chose not to take Ranger 20. Foe Slayer does the following: "Once on each of your turns, you can add your Wisdom modifier to the attack roll or damage roll to an attack you make against one of your favoured enemies." Favoured enemies in general are one of the ranger's weakest abilities. If you choose undead but your DM uses fey constantly, this bonus will hardly ever come into play. And considering you need to be at 20th level to even do any damage to your favoured enemy is kinda dumb. Sadly, it doesn't get exponentially good for a while. Next up at 12th place is...

-Eldritch Master: Warlock-

Believe me, it pains me to put one of my favourite classes this low. I love warlocks. However. This one is just not that good. Eldritch Master does the following: "You can spend one minute entreating your patron for aid to regain all expended spell slots from your Pact Magic feature. Once you regain spell slots with this feature, you must finish a long rest before you can do so again." If this were any other class, this would at least be C tier. But, thanks to the warlock's Pact Magic, they regain all expended spell slots after a short or long rest. In standard rules, a short rest is only 2 hours of downtime. In GRR (gritty realism resting, the system my DM uses), a short rest is 8 hours of downtime. Either way, all it is is one night's sleep. If you plan to use Eldritch Master in combat, you cannot do anything other than use Eldritch Master for ten. rounds. And yes, getting all spell slots back for just 1 minute is good outside of combat. But you have to finish a long rest until you can use it again, which is 8 hours standard and 3 days GRR. Isn't it easier to just take a short rest and forget about it? Now that I've finished that rant, in 11th place is...

-Superior Inspiration: Bard-

I promise, this has nothing to do with my personal vendetta against bards. Superior Inspiration does the following: "When you roll initiative and have no uses of Bardic Inspiration left, you regain one use." Now, Bardic Inspiration has come in clutch in my campaign a good handful of times. And by level 20, the Bardic Inspiration dice is a d12. However, if you're already in combat, which is where Bardic Inspiration is most used, it's unlikely you'll have to roll initiative again unless a second wave of enemies comes in. And in my time as a player, that's only happened once. I like Bardic Inspiration, like I said, it's clutch sometimes. But having this as the final upgrade at level 20 is a little underwhelming. At 10th place is the equally underwhelming...

-Perfect Self: Monk-

Monks in general is a class I've always found interesting, but a class I can't bring myself to play. Perfect Self does the following: "When you roll initiative and have no ki points remaining, you regain 4 ki points." This places above bard's just because ki points are fucking awesome. All three abilities you can use with ki points are really good. Flurry of Blows deals more damage, Patient Defense can help out in tense situations, and Step of the Wind gives the ever important extra movement. And considering all of these cost only 1 ki point? It's pretty good. However, as said with Superior Inspiration, if you're already in combat, it's rare to be rolling initiative a second time. If your DM likes to spread out your long rests, this can be useful. But it depends on your game, and if your DM is more relaxed with rests, it isn't nearly as useful. This is the first ability I'd truly put in C tier. Breaking into the single digits at 9th place is...

-Divine Intervention Improvement: Cleric-

I've never liked clerics, and I've never considered playing one. This feature's usefulness all depends on your subclass. Divine Intervention itself allows you to call upon your deity's aid and have them cast a spell from either your cleric spell list or your cleric domain spells. Level 20 allows this request to always succeed with no roll required. If you're looking for good spells in combat, which is the best use I can think of, most domains are pretty good. For damage, the domains of Light and Tempest are the best. For utility, Life, Trickery, and War are best. However, the Nature and Knowledge domains fall short here, which brings down the entire feature. Of course, if you're going to be casting spells from the cleric spell list, your domain doesn't matter as much. But you seriously can't pass up a good Dimension Door or Shatter. Coming in barely above cleric is the 8th place spot holder...

-Archdruid: Druid-

I like druids well enough. Druids are cool. Archdruid is pretty simple: it allows the druid to use their Wild Shape as many times as they want/need to. Wild Shape is the class's primary ability, allowing them to change into creatures of a certain CR as well as a few other restraints. By level 20, druids can turn into any creature they've seen before with a challenge rating of 1 or lower. Some creatures, like owls, can be very useful in and out of combat. However, it all depends on the player's strategic thinking. If you're dealing with an experienced druid main or a smart player in general, they can use this ability to be an absolute powerhouse of a druid. But if you have a newer player or a player who doesn't always remember what abilities they have, this can be underwhelming at best and useless at worst. Wild Shape is a really good ability, but it needs a really good player to use it to its fullest potential. Coming in at 7th place is...

-Soul of Artifice: Artificer-

Next to warlock and fighter, artificer is one of my favourite classes and I've been itching to play one. Soul of Artifice has 2 effects: "You gain a +1 bonus to all saving throws per magic item you are currently attuned to" and "If you are reduced to 0 hit points but not killed out-right, you can use your reaction to end one of your artificer infusions, causing you to drop to 1 hit point instead of 0." The one I'd like to focus on is that first one. By level 20, it's likely that the artificer is attuned to 3 magic items, which gives a +3 to all saving throws. So say your Constitution score is a 20, making the modifier +5. And artificers are proficient in Con saving throws, adding a proficiency bonus of +6 at level 20. This is already a substantial bonus of +11. But adding Soul of Artifice on top of that with 3 attuned magic items makes that a +14, which means you'll never be affected by poison ever. In addition to that, +3 is still half your proficiency bonus, meaning the artificer essentially has half proficiency in all saving throws. The second ability is also good, saving you from needing to make death saving throws provided you can cast a quick cure wounds on yourself before taking more damage. This is a solid A tier. Coming in just below the top 5 at 6th place is...

-Sacred Oath Feature: Paladin-

Similar to cleric, this feature is dependent on your subclass, or for Paladins, your Sacred Oath. I'll go over the bonuses for each subclass in the PHB. For the Oath of Devotion, once per long rest, you begin to shine with bright light in a 30 foot radius, damaging any creature that starts its turn in the bright light for 10 radiant damage. You also have advantage on saving throws against fiends or undead. For the Oath of the Ancients, once per long rest, for one minute (10 rounds of combat), you regain 10 hit points at the start of your turn, you can cast spells that require an action as a bonus action, and enemies within 10 feet of you have disadvantage on saving throws against your paladin spells and Channel Divinity. For the Oath of Vengeance, once per long rest, for 1 hour, you sprout wings that grant you a flying speed of 60 feet, and each creature that gets within 30 feet of you must make a Wisdom saving throw or be frightened by you for 1 minute or until it takes damage. Attacks against the frightened creature have advantage. Without a doubt, the best one is the Oath of the Ancients. Regaining HP is good, casting spells as a bonus action is better, and disadvantage on saving throws against your spells is even better. The other 2 can be viable in certain situations. If I had to choose a worst, it'd be the Oath of Vengeance. A flying speed of 60 feet is incredible, but the frightened mechanic isn't really good in 5e. When I get the chance to play a paladin, expect me to take the Oath of the Ancients. Now, breaking into the top 5 at 5th place is...

-Sorcerous Restoration: Sorcerer-

Now, the sorcerer I play alongside may have influenced this spot. We were discussing level 20 abilities and they brought up the uses for Sorcerous Restoration. The feature allows you to do the following: "You regain 4 expended sorcery points when you finish a short rest." Considering you only regain sorcery points on a long rest from levels 1-19, this can be super useful. Metamagic does cost more sorcery points than the monk's abilities cost ki points, but metamagic is some of the strongest spellcasting in the game. For example, our sorcerer enjoys twin casting Blight, which, at base level, costs 4 sorcery points. And considering that Blight does 8d8 necrotic damage on a failed save and half on a success, that's still a fuck ton of damage total. All of the metamagic options are good, and getting back sorcery points more often allows for more creative use for it. Coming in at 4th place is...

-Signature Spell: Wizard-

As much as I make fun of wizards and as much as I don't like playing them, their level 20 bonus is pretty good. Signature Spell does the following: "Choose two 3rd-level spells in your spellbook. You always have these spells prepared, they don't count against the number of spells you have prepared, and you can cast each of them once at 3rd level without expending a spell slot. When you do so, you can't do so again until you finish a short or long rest." There are a lot of really good 3rd level spells, and wizards have most of these at their disposal, so long as they have them in their spellbook. Counterspell, Fireball, Lightning Bolt, and Vampiric Touch come to mind as damage spells, and Remove/Bestow Curse can be useful in and out. Considering that you can cast each spell once per rest without expending a spell slot, Counterspell in particular begins to shine. As long as your DM hasn't banned it. Now, coming in with the bronze medal is...

-Stroke of Luck: Rogue-

So. You wanted to go to rogue 20. Congrats! You're now a half-halfling (or a quarterling) once per rest. Stroke of Luck does the following: "If your attack misses a target within range, you can turn the miss into a hit. Alternatively, if you fail an ability check, you can treat the d20 roll as a 20. Once you use this feature, you can't use it again until you finish a short or long rest." This is stupidly good. If you're up against a creature with a high AC, you can automatically hit with any weapon. It's important to note that this does not affect spell attacks (Arcane Trickster) or saving throws. God forbid you're a halfling rogue. You'll never fail at anything. Next up at 2nd place is..

-Extra Attack (3): Fighter-

I swear, this has nothing to do with fighters being my favourite. Okay, it might have something to do with it. But this ability is truly the definition of less is more. Extra Attack (3) does the following: "You can attack four times, instead of once, when you take the attack action on your turn." Did you catch that? You can attack. Four. Times. And that's without Action Surge, which you now have two uses of! This allows for eight attacks per turn, and, if you play a melee fighter with a 20 in Strength, that's a +11 to hit without any sort of magical weapon. Which means you'll be hitting things. A lot. God forbid you chose the Champion subclass (like I did *sunglasses emoji*) and you have a 15% chance to crit. After extensive testing of rolling 4d20 for standard actions, and 8d20 for Action Surges, 12/20 rolls included at least 1 critical hit. One Action Surge roll even included 3 crits. You can't beat that. What I'm really saying here is that Fighter 20 is overpowered, and fuck you I like Champion Fighter. Now, by process of elimination, you may already know what I think the best level 20 feature is. But if you don't, I'll go ahead and say it. The 1st place winner of my ranking is...

-Primal Champion: Barbarian-

If you're unfamiliar with the rules of D&D, you may be asking. Why is having a higher ability cap so good? Let me explain. Primal Champion does the following: "Your Strength and Constitution scores increase by 4. Your maximum for these scores is now 24." By Barbarian 20, you've burned through 5 ASIs, and there's a good chance most of them went into Strength and Constitution. If you got lucky in rolling, you may even have them both at 20. Let's break down the first part. Your Strength and Constitution scores both increase by 4. That is the equivalent of four Ability Score Improvements, aka, sixteen levels in barbarian. Holy shit. And by level 20, your Strength and Con are probably at least to 18, even if you did get unlucky. So this would usually put both at 20, right? Wrong. Let's look at that second half. Your maximum for these scores is now 24. Holy. Shit. In the campaign I play in, my fighter took a pact with our dragon mom. Now, his Strength can cap at 22. Good, but not 24. A 24 in Strength and Constitution would set both modifiers at a +7. Since barbarians are proficient in all weapons, any melee weapon attack would have a +13 to hit without any sort of magic items. In addition, barbarian's Unarmored Defense puts their AC at 10+Dex. mod+ Con. mod. Even if your Dex. mod is +0, that's still an unarmored AC of 17. Seventeen. Seven. teen. All I'm saying is,, if I hadn't picked fighter, I'd absolutely be picking barbarian. I love this, and I wish fighters got it too. But fighter 20 ranked 2nd place, and I think that's pretty good.

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Anyways, that's all my rambling for today. DM, if you're reading this, for the love of god can my boy have a higher unarmored AC. Desperate.