#once i have a job and steady source of income i can get my car fixed and get out of this hellhole
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axel-the-goat-guy-and-gal · 2 months ago
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will be inactive for an unknown amount of time due to irl circumstances
for like the 5 people who see this post and actually give a fuck
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carolinesiede · 1 year ago
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Reflecting on 2023
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2023 marked my tenth year as a professional critic, and it was also the first time I considered giving up the job all together. Like most people, I’ve found the past few years pretty tumultuous and anxiety-inducing. But for me, that all came to a head at the end of 2022, when I lost my swanky contract gig with FOX Digital and suddenly had to grapple with just how different my career looked from its pre-pandemic state.
I no longer had a connection with The A.V. Club, the site that served as my main home for nine years. I could no longer count on Twitter, which was once my biggest networking platform for finding new work. I’d driven myself into some hardcore burnout trying to run a podcast while building a new vertical from the ground up. And to top it all off, a close family member was hit by a car on New Year’s Day. Everyone was okay, thankfully, but helping them through a five-day hospital stay and several weeks of recovery was quite a dramatic way to start the new year.
I needed a break, and for the first time since I started my A.V. Club internship back in spring 2013, I gave myself one. I put my podcast on hold. I stopped keeping up with movies and TV shows. I took a full six months off from writing. I taught myself to embroider and started obsessively binging the back catalogue of the Boy Meets World podcast, Pod Meets World. (Shawn Hunter forever!)
In a lot of ways it was great. I desperately needed the time off and it inspired me to do fun, impulsive things, like visit Disneyland with my sister and take a road trip from St. Louis to New York with my parents. But looking back, I can also see just how manic and unmoored I felt during that time. I was living without a steady source of income, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be hired to write criticism again, and I wasn’t sure I even wanted to. The past decade of my career had felt like climbing a (sometimes wonky) staircase in a vaguely upward trajectory. Suddenly I was standing on a cliff with no bridge in sight.
I have two people to thank for getting me across that chasm. One is my old A.V. Club colleague Myles McNutt, who, probably more than he realizes, tossed me a life raft by inviting me to cover genre television on his excellent TV criticism site, Episodic Medium. Writing weekly recaps for a supportive audience was the perfect way to ease myself back into the world of criticism; to remind myself that even with a six-month break, I still had the muscle memory to write a review. And, more importantly, to remember that I really enjoyed doing it—even when covering a show as terrible as Secret Invasion. (And eventually better showslike Loki and Doctor Who.)
The other person I have to thank for my career revival is, unexpectedly enough, Taylor Swift’s publicist, Tree Paine, who for some inexplicable reason said yes when I pitched her on the idea of covering the Eras Tour as a way to launch a Substack about girl culture. “I'm willing to take the chance and hope it helps you kick off your new career path,” she wrote before sending me off to see night two in Kansas City. And I know she’s a good publicist because not only is she managing Taylor’s career, she’s apparently managing mine as well.
Without that vote of confidence from Tree, I sincerely doubt I would’ve followed through on launching Girl Culture—my longtime daydream of a way to continue and expand the work I used to do at my old A.V. Club column, When Romance Met Comedy. But I’m so glad I did. Though the idea of building a new audience in our overcrowded media landscape is terrifying, I was absolutely blown away by the initial support I received, both in people signing up to receive the newsletter and in offering to pay for it as well. While the money I make here isn’t anywhere close enough to live on (yet!), my total 2023 Girl Culture earnings wound up covering a month of my rent, which is a huge deal in an industry where I’m often scraping together a living one $100 assignment at a time.
Equally importantly, it’s been a huge mindset shift to have an online space that truly belongs to me. Where I can choose what I cover, and own my own writing in a literal sense, which has never been the case before this. For the past decade, I’ve fallen into the trap of defining my success based on the prestige of the sites I write for. Logging my first Girl Culture review on my official Rotten Tomatoes page helped me realize that I’m the one bringing value and expertise to my work, no matter where it’s published.
Of course, given Substack’s recent refusal to take a stand against Nazis, it’s difficult to uniformly praise the platform at the moment. I completely understand and respect anyone who’s stepping away from the site, either as a writer or a reader. But in a sea of imperfect options, I’m choosing to remain here for now—although I’ll let you know if that changes.
After getting back into a groove with writing over the summer, the second half of my 2023 was all about balance. My weird unemployment era at least gave me a blank slate to start rebuilding my career more intentionally. And with that mindset shift, I sought out higher paid consulting work, reconnected with old editors at places like Block Club Chicago and The Daily Beast, and got (somewhat) better at saying “no” to assignments I didn’t have the bandwidth to write—without feeling like I’d never be offered work again.
Personally, I also worked on rebuilding the sense of community I’d lost during the pandemic. I attended gorgeous weddings in Seattle, Brooklyn, and right here in Chicago, and actively worked on expanding and strengthening my support network of friends and family. And while I still have plenty of questions and anxieties about what the future of my career looks like (that’s freelancing for you!), I also feel a renewed sense of confidence in my identity as a critic and a renewed love of movies and television too. (Thank goodness!)
I even got it together to pick my 10 favorite films of 2023, which I’ll share below along with a round-up of all the major writing and podcasts I did throughout the year. If you enjoy my work, you can support me on Substack, Kofi, PayPal, or Venmo, or follow me on Instagram and Letterboxd. And you can expect much more to come from Girl Culture in 2024!
MY FAVORITE FILMS OF 2023
Asteroid City
Origin
All of Us Strangers
May December
Past Lives
Maestro
The Zone of Interest
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem
Barbie
Rye Lane
MY 2023 WRITING/PODCAST ROUND-UP
Girl Culture
The effortless effort of the Eras Tour
Did 'Barbie' need Ken?
Random thoughts on 'Red, White & Royal Blue'
On camp, sincerity and 'High School Musical: The Musical: The Series'
‘Doctor Who’ rewatch: Season one ranked
The new ‘Little Mermaid’ is a tail of two worlds
‘Doctor Who’ rewatch: Season two ranked
‘Doctor Who’ rewatch: Season three ranked
‘The Marvels’ is really messy and really fun
‘Doctor Who’ rewatch: Season four ranked
Podcasts
Chatting This Is Us on the Peak Show podcast
Chatting Midsommar on It Pod to Be You
The Daily Beast
‘The Artful Dodger’: A Gory ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ Meets Charles Dickens
Episodic Medium reviews
Secret Invasion
Loki, season two
Doctor Who’s 60th Anniversary Specials
Doctor Who’s 2023 Christmas Special
Block Club Chicago
Blue Man Group’s Sensory-Friendly Performance Returns Sunday After 4 Years
Green Living Comes To Life At Peggy Notebaert Nature Museum’s New Sustainability Center
Black Ensemble Theater’s ‘The Other Cinderella’ Celebrates 47 Years Of The Updated Fairy Tale
And here are similar year-end wrap-ups I did for 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, and 2013.
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anxiouslyfred · 4 years ago
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Virgil’s Book Signing
Summary: Virgil’s soulmate had left dark or disturbing thoughts appearing on his wrist so often he started writing story responses to them. Now releasing his third compliation of short stories is he meeting his most grateful fan, or his soulmate?
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Virgil's Soulmate had been the one to first start him writing, and his family the ones who had, behind his back, started sending those stories to writing competitions. Specifically his brother Logan had done so, using the excuse that it could be a profitable skill if Virgil only went the right way about releasing it to the world.
He didn't really believe that and remained more than happy with his job being steady work in the marketing department of a large local company. Virgil didn't see any trouble in letting his brother occasionally send his stories off though, so long as he didn't get forced into writing anything formal and only had limited occasions of doing publicity.
It seemed easier than arguing with Logan on the subjects, or pointing out how elevated his anxiety was about anyone outside of his family reading the stories, let alone complete strangers judging them. Besides, the fact Logan somehow got collections of his short stories published, giving him an extra source of income as well as another excuse to make his brother help or just plain do his taxes for him. Virgil wasn't the maths whiz between them and definitely needed all the reasons he could to make Logan help with taxes.
Besides, it did give him structure when Virgil wanted to travel. He could see more of the country on book signing events and actually use up those holiday days he earned. It didn't make sense to save them constantly over the years, especially when it would help the books sales.
The funniest thing was when media tried to dismiss the times he openly referred to his soulmates thoughts as an inspiration for his writing. People felt that being open over what your soulmate was thinking about was an invasion of privacy, especially when you hadn't met them yet, but Virgil had had to write or panic about who they were.
He'd spent a lot of his schooling panicking over the thoughts before a school counsellor suggested writing responses to the thoughts down, or making some kind of story about them. To be honest, Virgil had agreed that there must be some kind of story behind 'what if you jumped out of a moving car?' being followed the next day by 'could humans learn to speak dog by sniffing their butts?' and had been curious over how he could answer that.
Over the years the thoughts that would appear on his wrist in the evening got gradually darker, more sinister, but Virgil had grown to enjoy the horror genre anyway, so attempting to write short stories for it had been a challenge he willingly rose to.
If only his first 2 collections of short stories hadn't done so well his book signings now had to be booked ahead of time if there was a Q&A section.
/To his avid reader\
The thoughts that appeared on Remus's wrist so often concerned him sometimes. They were filled with so much doubt constantly, doubt over his soulmate's skills and their ability to deal with things, and occasionally just plain fears over something that's been in the news.
He tried to focus at least some time every day to just focus on sending positive thoughts to his Soulmate, hoping beyond hope that just maybe they would be the thoughts that got sent over that day. It didn't seem like Remus had managed to make that happen yet, and he dreaded to imagine that perhaps some of his intrusive thoughts appeared to them instead.
When something horrible or twisted wrapped itself around his brain, scaring Remus with just how dark the images he came up with could become, it could take all his focus up for hours or days. Reading different types of horror sometimes helped get the thoughts out of his head though, so he tried, kept an eye out for stories that seemed to match similar plots or themes to the ones his thoughts would repeat.
Being gifted a collection of short stories by V. Cowell had been a godsend a few years back, and even now, Remus would return to that original volume. With the other collection finally received as well as slowly accumulating the mixed collections that had one or two of V. Cowell's stories in them, it began to felt like his thoughts weren't terrifying so much as unfinished tales.
He wasn't alone in having these thoughts, just needed some guidance to find the conclusion of them and that was what he found in V. Cowell's stories. When he heard about the signing event being held by his local bookshop for a third collection by V. Cowell, Remus was already calling them to book his place at the event. He just had to meet the person who had helped him so much.
/Night of the Book Signing Event\
Remus was bouncing in his seat, clinging to the book and torn between immediately reading it and getting every memory he could of seeing V. Cowell. He'd never wanted to know about the writer but at the same time now he had been handed to chance to actually ask a question, or maybe even talk when he started signing books, there was just so much about Cowell he wished he knew.
“Good Evening Everyone. Welcome to our event this evening.” One of the managers of the shop had moved onto the podium they'd set up, waving to the audience while getting their attention.
A smattering of people clapped, while Remus just rolled his eyes, scanning the edges of the podium for a glimpse of his favourite writer. He was only half listening to the spiel the manager was saying, even less once he spotted someone hunching into a hoodie. They looked completely out of place, but also as though they'd argued with someone about what to wear because there was definitely a dress shirt and tie under the hoodie.
“So I introduce to the stage, Virgil Cowell, the author of the collection 'Every Soul in the Forest'.” Remus beamed, bouncing enough to get dirty looks from the people sat near to him as his hoodie clad man stepped up. His favourite author was breaking the unspoken dress codes and oh, Remus just liked him more for it.
The rest of the evening span by in a blur for Remus. He hung off of every word said, and actually got to ask what Virgil meant when he said the inspiration for his stories came from his soulmate. It almost made him dream that he was the one sending thoughts to V. Cowell when he described the stories as responses to thoughts that had unsettled him when they originally appeared. That felt like far too wonderful a thing to occur.
When he'd gone to get his book signed, he'd been giddy, only able to repeat a million times just how much the stories Virgil had already published had helped him. The writer had seemed a little stunned, but very grateful for the words, and the embroidered recreation of a scene from one of his stories Remus had brought with him. He hadn't intended to give it away, only just it as a grounding texture if needed, but when faced with meeting Virgil just saying thank you with words hadn't felt like enough.
He could do another embroidery anyway. The pin pricks even helped remind him of the real world sometimes.
Remus didn't even think to look at his wrist until he'd been trying to sleep, and finding himself too excited, for an hour. The words did anything except help him sleep.
'Nice Embroidery but this gratefulness for some stories I wrote really seems extreme. You okay, Bouncy?'
Either fate was incredibly cruel, or his soulmate actually, really, properly was V. Cowell.
/Back to the Writer\
Doing book signings was always exhausting for Virgil. It took a lot of energy to keep on socialising for people for as long as they lasted. By the time he'd had dinner and got back to his hotel all he wanted was to curl up in bed and sleep for the next day.
He still had to check his wrist first, know that his soulmate was alive, even if their thoughts rarely said if they were okay or not.
'It's truly V. Cowell. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! Guess I can't just scream that at him. Have to find a better way to say... I have my embroidery with me!! That can say thank you, can't it?'
Virgil blinked at the words on his wrist, taking a moment to double, triple and quadruple check it wasn't his imagination that his wrist specifically mentioned meeting him.
Sometime through the entire Q&A, and the book signing afterwards, he had met his soulmate and apparently all they had wanted to do was thank him. That... That was the most wonderful, terrifying thing he'd ever heard. His soulmate would have some image of him in their minds when he probably wouldn't even...
Wait, the thought mentioned that embroidery he was given. He could remember the face and a man bouncing and hopping in front of the signing desk. The man who had actually asked how, rather than dismissing the idea that he got inspiration from his soulmate's thoughts.
The issue now would just be meeting the man again, when he only had the next day in town before travelling to the next event. He'd have to try going back to the bookshop at least.
He mentally  promised to do that while drifting off to sleep. Hopefully by the end of tomorrow he'd have his soulmate with him.
/Outside the Bookshop\
Virgil could see someone bouncing around the front of the store from the end of the street. Either his soulmate had come back hoping to see him again or just get contact information to write to him, or there were far too many bouncy people in his town.
“It's you!!! You did come back this morning! What thought did you get last night? Please tell me? Please, please please?” As soon as Virgil was close enough to be recognised the man was bounding over to him, seeming like the human embodiment of an over excited Labrador with the zoomies.
He had to snicker at the response, just pushing his sleeve up and holding his arm out. “So I'm guessing there was something in the thought you got which gave away it was me?” He muttered, wishing the quiet voice would stop them from getting attention, but knowing the exuberance of his soulmate that wouldn't work.
“Yep! You sent me a thought actually about me! Is my name Bouncy now? Do I need to introduce myself again? Can I run away and join your book tour and move in with you now? Or should I just become your biggest fan and follow you around without announcing that we're soulmates?” Bouncy definitely suited the man as he spoke a mile a minute, but Virgil shook his head.
“Let's go with an introduction and Bouncy can be a nickname for you.” He offered, before thinking the rest of the ramble through. “I can probably get you included on this book tour, but really don't want you immediately moving in. How about you finish the tour with me, then come back to sort out whatever things need doing for you to move to town? That'd give us time to at least get to know each other for a while, and give you a separate place for when we need space from each other.”
His Soulmate nodded, jumping forward to hug him for a second. “Fantastic! I'm Remus, and did you really write those stories to respond with my thoughts? I kept trying to send you comforting ones, but I guess I had no luck with that!”
“Great to meet you properly Remus, and well, I had to respond in some way to calm the anxiety some of those thoughts caused.” Virgil shrugged, but turned to lead them towards a cafe he'd spotted down the street.
Remus took his hand, watching him for a moment as though checking it was okay as he followed along. “They really helped me so much. I still just want to thank you for them more.”
“Given you literally got me a side job as a writer, I think we're even.” Virgil countered, smirking when that fact stunned Remus. He knew it would take a while to break the gratitude loop Remus seemed to be stuck in for him, but given it was his thoughts that were the inspiration, Virgil had the key to get through eventually.
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thorne93 · 4 years ago
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The Softest Fire (Part 27)
Prompt: Rosaline Vaughan had it all: fame, money, power, glory, a high status job. Until, one day, she woke up, and realized something was missing from her life.
Word Count: 3361
Warnings: fight/violence/near death
Notes: First Fantastic Beast fic! I could NOT have done this at all without @arrow-guy​​​​. They have created a counterpart to this fic, writing it from Nora Vaughan’s perspective (Rosaline’s cousin/adopted sister). Fic aesthetic done by @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​​​​.
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Nora was better. She decided to make an announcement that they were going to merge curse-breaking with the Ministry. I was at the press conference in the crowd to support her, Newt by my side. Theseus and her made the announcement with a handful of others from the Ministry and two other curse breakers in the world. 
My time at Hogwarts came to a close roughly two weeks ago. I’d moved in next to Newt’s flat. Not in the same building, but the one next door. It happened shortly after Nora returned. I felt she needed the space back, so she wouldn’t feel as though she was mothering me any more. It also gave her the chance for Theseus to move in, should they act on it. 
When things ended for me at Hogwarts, the question on many people’s minds was if I’d return. Children gave me gifts and cards, begging me to come back and teach. The other professors gave me words of encouragement, but they know I’d been through some ordeals in the last few years, so they simply said they would love to have me return and left it at that. 
Even I didn’t know what I wanted to do. So, instead of seeking sage counsel from Nora as I normally would, I gave her a break and went to the new source of advice in my life. 
I sat in Newt’s flat during lunch time as he took a break from caring for the animals. His sleeves were rolled up, but they were still covered with wetness and muck. 
“I’ve been thinking,” I began, a bit unsure. 
“Oh? About what?” he asked beside me on the sofa. 
“My career,” I said, my tone serious and loaded. “I love working at Hogwarts…”
“Alright,” he said, dragging the word out. “Is there something that’s wrong with that?” 
“Not wrong, per se, but it does beg the question about where I am to go next. I have been searching my heart for an answer and I just can’t decide. I love Hogwarts. I love working with Albus, seeing the children, having knowledge at my fingertips. The children keep me on my toes. But, if I made it full time, that would mean I was away from you for roughly ten months out of the year. We’d be forced to all those weekend visits. At the same time though, I loved working with you. These creatures gave me purpose. Working with you, traveling with you felt like I was giving something back in the world, helping helpless creatures, keeping them safe.”
“So come back to work with me,” he offered. “I still need an assistant.”
I nodded, biting my lip. “I know, and I love the work, but part of me is quite practical.”
“Yes, I know,” he said, as if that didn’t make a difference.  
Toying with my lips even more, I said, “Well, as much as I do adore working with you, if we are to remain… steady, then I need my own income. I don’t think it’s wise for us to rely on the same income.”
Newt nodded, but I felt I’d hurt his feelings. 
“Please, don’t think I mean any disrespect. You know I adore your work, our work together. I think what you do is absolutely vital and noble. But I don’t think it’s safe to rely on possible book deals popping up.”
“That’s...understandable. Although I always want you to reconsider. You always have a place here as my partner.”
I teared up at his words. “Partner sounds more than lovely.” I took his hands in mine. “I have been thinking and… I think I know a solution. It will keep me local to you, it will help me give back, and I can have my own source of income.” 
“That sounds fantastic! What is it?” 
I held my breath, trying to find the courage to say it. I hoped he would support me, but he might think I was absolutely bonkers. 
“I’d like to run for Minister for Magic,” I said evenly. 
His eyes went wide as his eyebrows shot up. “Really? Wow, that is um, exciting. What made you think of this?” 
“Well, I know I didn’t want it back when I first came to you, but I’m wiser now. I was afraid of being corrupt or not giving back properly, but life experience has changed all that. I’m stronger now. I know how to hold off the Dark Arts. I know how they work. I know things the magic world needs and things it doesn’t.”
“That is true,” he agreed. 
I sat there, ready to burst. I had no idea if he supported me or not. 
“So? Do you think I should do it? Do I have your support?” 
He glanced at me. “Of course you have my support. You have my support to do anything you set your mind to, Rosaline. No matter what. You’ll do every job wonderfully. I’m sure of that.” 
I smiled at him. “Really?” 
“Of course.” 
“You’re not disappointed? Going to call me a cold bureaucrat?” I asked, nervous. 
“No, not in the slightest. If anyone should do that job, deserves that job, or is more fit for a job, it’s you. I’d be proud to see you take that title.” He gave me a warm smile and I nearly melted into his arms. 
---------------------------------
I went to the Ministry just a few days later, both applying for the position and holding a press conference of my own to announce my decision. 
“And so it is with great pride and confidence that I, Rosaline Vaughan, announce to the great magical world, that I will be running for Minister For Magic once more,” I spoke into the microphone. My eyes flashed to Newt’s who was standing in the first row. Theseus was beside him. The two of them were smiling and clapping, as was the rest of the crowd. Nora was off tending to a small curse breaking job, and I didn’t have the chance to tell her.
The press swirled around me for quite some time, asking many questions and people offered to run my campaign, shoving their cards in my hands. Photo after photo was snapped. Finally though, I set off. 
Newt and I walked hand in hand outside of the Ministry. I felt alive, empowered, confident. Until I noticed the streets looked odd. There were no passerbys, no cars, no one. A dead streat. 
Except for something out of the corner of my right eye. 
“Rosaline, running for Minister? What a naughty move... If I didn't know any better, I'd say this was a threat to me, but I know you're smarter than that," the voice sent a chill down my spine. 
I turned to face the voice, the reason for my nightmares. There, several feet down the middle of the deserted road, was Gellert Grindelwald, flanked on both sides of him with six confidants. Of course, I recognized Vinda, Creedence, and Abernathy. The other three, I did not know.
“Gellert. I would say it’s lovely to see you again, but, I’d be lying and I was raised not to lie.” I stared him down. 
“What a pity. I thought you might like seeing me again. After all, we were lovers, soon to be wed. More than I can say for your zookeeper here.” He gestured to Newt and I didn’t respond. I knew he wanted anger, or for me to glance to Newt, or to defend him. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. 
“What do you want, Grindelwald?” I called back. 
“I want you to call off your campaign.”
“Why would I do that?” 
“Because, my dear, you know far too much about me and with you in the position of Minister…” He made a face of faux sympathy. “Well, I’m sorry, but that just wouldn’t work out in my favor, and we can’t have that.”
A few moments later, aurors began to slowly step out into the street. I raised my hand slightly, signaling for them to stay back. 
“I’m going to have to disappoint you. I will not step down, I will not back down, certainly not to the likes of you.” 
He gave an almost laugh, and his followers joined in with a smirk. “You think you can beat me? Darling, you beat my last spell but all that did was land you in my bed, nearly becoming my wife. What makes you think this will turn out any differently?” 
“Because I know things about you now. I know how you think and as unfortunate as that experience was, it wasn’t experience wasted.” 
“Shame. Because your power as a witch will be wasted, when I’m through killing you.” 
He raised his wand but I expected the oncoming blow so I casted a nonverbal multi-shot jinx, knocking back the six of his comrades. By the time he brought down his wand, they were on their backs, moaning, but he kept moving. 
Water from a nearby river swirled quickly over my head and I raised my wand to deflect the oncoming attack but it was too late. The water had enveloped me, forming a sphere around me. I couldn’t breathe. I was going to drown if I didn’t get this ball of water off of my body. Either the water would invade my lungs or Grindelwald’s force he was applying would crush my body. 
I thought hard and quickly. I saw through the water that the six followers were starting to stand. Newt wouldn’t stand a chance against all seven of them. I tried to raise my arms to claw out of it but the water continued to morph around me, suffocating me. 
Finally, I flicked my wand towards Gellert, using Impedimenta to get him to drop his wand and hand. It worked, and I fell to the ground, gasping for air. I didn’t have time to waste. I stood up and casted firestorm at the six followers, keeping them in their place. Following that, I casted expelliarmus at the lot of them, making wands fly at my hands. Using the banishing spell, I sent the wands towards the aurors for safe keeping.
Grindelwald took the moment I was distracted to throw a crucio curse my way but I used Protego to rebound it. It wasn’t effective as the hex was too powerful to rebound, but at least I got it to deflect away from me. 
He casted shot after shot at me, forcing me to either deflect or rebound them until I finally casted Everte Statum at him. He deflected it though, sending it back to me, but I jumped out of the way. 
I tried to send a confundo charm at him, but he blocked it. I followed it up with stupefy but all we were doing was dancing around each other's charms. We did this for several minutes. It appeared it was a draw, but I couldn’t give up. If Grindelwald won, there would be virtually no one to stop him. 
Newt began in on Grindelwald as well, casting Everte Statum on him, sending Grindelwald back. He didn’t expect the attack, so Newt had the advantage. In his stunned moment, I casted Glacius Duo at him, casting him in ice. 
I ran to Newt, my hands fawning all over him. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine, Rosaline. Just fi--” His eyes went wide as he looked over my shoulder so I spun to see what had him startled. 
Grindelwald had broken from the ice. He was standing before me, his eyes lit with fire. 
I raised my wand but he was invariably faster. 
The moment I saw his wand and eyes were aimed at Newt and not me, time slowed down. I saw a spark of green cast out of Grindelwald’s wand.
Avada Kedavra
I had no time to lose. I raised my wand and cast a banishing spell at Newt, sending him flying into one of the windows of the stores across the street. It might’ve hurt, but at least he was safe. 
In the split second he went flying, I gathered a ball of light quickly and casted it out from me, causing an explosion to occur up and down the street. Every window, every glass, shattered and I sent every shard straight for Grindelwald using the oppugno jinx. He protected himself with a shield charm, every shard falling away from him.  
The two of us locked eyes as soon as the shards were done falling before we casted curses on each other. Our wands locked on contact, the spells connecting before suddenly, the beam of light between us wasn’t one color or the other. Rather, it was one gold beam. 
Priori Incantatem
I’d studied this effect before. It was rare, but possible. It meant that it was down to the will power of Grindelwald and myself. Our wands had the same core. I’d forgotten he had the Elder Wand in his possession. 
My wand felt as if it would explode in my hand, but I couldn’t let go. My heart hammered in my chest. I could hear nothing but a roaring in my ears as echoes of the last spells spilled out around us in a golden cage. No one from the outside could reach us.
If I lost, if I let up, if I let him get the upper hand in any way, I’d surely die. He would cast the killing curse on me and not think twice, and it would only follow with killing Newt and possibly Theseus. 
I couldn’t let that happen.
Images began to flicker in my head. I remembered Grindelwald inflicting the crucio curse on Newt in front of me. I remember Newt telling me that Grindelwald almost killed him twice in New York. He nearly killed him in Paris. And he also forced me to attack Newt, ordering me to kill him. 
Five times he’d preyed upon Newt’s life. He’d attacked Nora, Theseus. He killed muggles and wizards alike. There was no stopping him. He didn’t think twice before ending someone’s life, it didn’t matter whose it was. He would've ended mine had I not been some form of asset to him. 
Suddenly, my rage boiled inside me. He’d caused the world to live in fear, to live in peril. He nearly killed the one person I’d ever loved. He didn’t deserve to get away with this. 
This ended now. 
I took a step forward, my energy, all my will power, all my anger, all my fear, all my frustration flowed into my wand. Every word of encouragement and confidence thrust upon me came flooding to the forefront of my mind and trickled into my hands. I grabbed my wand with both hands, moving forward ever so slightly. 
Grindelwald looked up in surprise and for the first time I’d ever seen -- fear. 
Finally, his wand flew from his hand, breaking our connection and the gold cage. He stared at me with total shock. He raised his hand to perform a non-verbal spell but I was quicker. I quickly casted Petrificus Totalus and Incarcerous. 
He was forced to his knees before me as ropes wrapped themselves around him.
“Aurors!” I called back to the witnessing crowd. “You have a criminal that I believe needs apprehending.” 
“Quite the show, Ms. Vaughan. I must say I’m impressed. I didn’t think you had it in you.” 
“You nearly killed Newt five times. I’m not like Albus, Gellert, I don’t reason with people -- I stop them.” 
“I’d heard you were working with him,” he informed.
“Yes. He asked me to destroy your blood pact.” 
“Were you successful?” 
“Not yet, so don’t think you can break out of prison to have him killed.” I flashed a smile full of malice just as the aurors came up, all of their wands at the ready to take him into custody. “But, I did ask him to tell me all your weaknesses. I thought it might come in handy, should you ever try to attack me.”
He looked down, as if he should’ve seen it coming. A bit of an amused smile came across his face. 
“You should’ve just killed me, Gellert.” 
“And waste such a talented witch? No. I’ll live in your memory forever now.” He flashed me a proud smirk as they hauled him to his feet.
I nodded. “You will,” I agreed “as the most evil Dark Wizard I’ve had the pleasure to stop.” 
As they walked him by, he stared at me with what I could only discern as a begrudging respect. Once he was out of sight, I finally relaxed. Theseus rushed up to me. 
“Are you okay? That was… that was quite something.”
I nodded, taking a breath. “I’m alright. Where is Newt? Is he okay?” I turned, panicked that I’d hurt him worse than I intended. Just as I spun however, he was standing there before me, holding a wand. “Is that his?” I asked, despite knowing the answer.
He bobbed his head. “It’s yours now I suppose. Unless, Theseus, the Ministry will have some objection to this?” He glanced over to his brother.
Theseus shook his head, almost laughing. “No, no, by all means, Rosaline won it fair and square. I prefer it in her hands over the Ministry’s.”
I thanked him and he thanked me before going inside. 
Newt looked at me curiously before I laughed and inquired, “What? What are you looking at me like that for?”
“You’re truly amazing, you know that?”
“I suppose I am,” I agreed proudly. 
“I thought I lost you,” he breathed, staring at me. 
“I know,” I admitted. “I thought I lost myself too. As soon as that water came around me, I thought I was done for. Then he casted the killing curse at you…” 
“When your wands connected, I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to protect you so badly but I didn’t want to get in the way either.” 
I reached up, cupping his face. “You could never be in the way. In fact, today, your attack on him distracted him long enough for me to get the upper hand. I was sure I was as good dead there for a few moments before that. So thank you, for saving my life.” 
“It’s the least I can do. You’ve saved mine on numerous occasions while we were capturing animals.” 
“I’ll always do everything I can to protect you, Newt. Always. I can’t live without you.”
“Nor I you,” he agreed. 
“I was ready to step in front of that curse for you, but I knew that I was the best hope for stopping him, so I couldn’t do that. I’m sorry if my spell hurt you by the way.” 
He shook his head. “Quite all right. Just a little bruised, but not bad for interfering with a duel between the two greatest wizards of our time.”
I gave him a half smile before putting my hand on his shoulder and concentrating. A nonverbal spell spilled out of me and I lifted my hand. 
“Feel better?” I asked.
“Much. What did you do?”
“A simple healing spell. I actually learned it from Grindelwald.” I smirked, amused at the irony.
“Will you ever stop impressing me?” Newt wondered as he stared into my eyes. 
“I hope I never do,” I replied. 
“Me too,” he admitted. “Now, we should get you home. You have a campaign to plan and some resting to do. You’ve far more than earned it.”
“Ah, yes, and we should probably tell Nora about my decision to run for Minister,” I insisted as I put my arm through his. The aurors began reconstructing the street as we walked. 
“I’ll be sure to mention that, and the fact that you just won the greatest wizarding duel.”
“Yes, but that will overshadow my decision to run, so be sure you lead with the campaign first,” I encouraged. 
Newt glanced at me before smiling keenly. “Yes, quite right.” 
The two of us laughed before I rested my head on his shoulder, walking along beside him happily, more free and weightless than I’d ever felt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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readyplayerhobi · 6 years ago
Text
Peppermint | 01
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; Hoseok x Reader
; Genre: Fluff, future light angst
; Word Count: 10.6k
; Synopsis: Achieving your dream job is something that very people manage to do, which is why you’re all the more happier when you land a job on the film team at Poppin’ Culture; the biggest pop culture website, blog and YouTube channel around. What you don’t expect however, is to fall for the exceptionally shy and awkward colleague who is not even remotely your type. Or is he?
; A/N: This is just what I’ve been writing to try and get back into the swing of things. It’s just...light and fun. Was supposed to be a one shot but it’s getting long and it feels like a good place to end as a first part! Please send me thoughts, comments and encouragements as it’s a struggle to write lately ;-;
01 ; 02
-
“And this is our main office. It’s open plan, as you can see so I hope that doesn’t bother you too much. We’ve found it works better to just throw ideas out in the open or to just get reactions so feel free to shout out if you need something. Everyone’s very friendly,” Seokjin smiles at you brightly, his thick lips turning up and making his eyes sparkle behind his glasses as he leads you into the wide open space. “And this is your desk. Feel free to decorate it however you want. Nothing will beat the car wreck that’s happening on Jimin’s desk.”
“Hey! This is artistic mess. Everything has a place and there is a place for everything.” The bubblegum pink haired man in question half stands, a finger pointing threateningly while his pearly white teeth peek out from beneath plush pink lips. You can’t help but smile, as his slim frame and cute cheeks make him look distinctively non-threatening and ruin any hope he has of convincing you otherwise.
It could also be the fact he looks like a hipster from Seattle with the thick, black plastic frames delicately placed on his nose and the retro 80s film shirt with an open black and white plaid shirt over the top. Still...he’s rather pretty and you wonder momentarily if you’ve somehow entered another dimension with astonishingly beautiful people.
Either that, or you’ve walked into the set of some reality TV show but you’re not quite willing to break the Matrix programming just yet.
Seokjin snorts and rolls his eyes, lifting a ring laden hand to brush his black hair out of them. It’s hindered slightly by the tan beanie on his head and you’re momentarily distracted once more by his impressive frame. The white shirt with the Jaws film poster on it stretches rather enticingly over his broad shoulders while his black, ripped jeans are snugly secured with a leather belt that has a Superman belt buckle.
Honestly, how were you meant to work in this place?
He’d already introduced you to Namjoon, the creator of Poppin’ Culture who oversaw all aspects of his slowly booming media empire along with Namjoon’s wife, Chaeyoung. She oversaw the HR aspect of everything and had been your first point of call before Seokjin had come down to retrieve you upon getting the call that you had arrived.
Seokjin is the editor of the Poppin’ Culture website, which is the big daddy of the whole enterprise. It had originally started 10 years ago in Namjoon’s university bedroom apparently, just posting reviews of retro films and any new films that came out.
A decade later and it was the biggest source of pop culture news, blogs and entertainment in the Western hemisphere. The website scores over 250,000 hits a day with the blogs averaging a pretty healthy number too and the YouTube channels generating a steady enough income to keep a small team afloat with ease.
His sheer love of all things cultural meant that Poppin’ Culture had expanded far beyond its original remit of film and now had something for everyone. There was the film blog, the gaming blog, the music blog, the television blog and even the book blog. And you’d heard rumours of them branching into sports with talk of a fighting blog and channel appearing soon which would be interesting.
Sports were a whole other thing in the world of things people obsess over.
Either way, you’d been rather desperate to get a job here when the opening had appeared on the job listings website for a new in house content writer. When you’d found out that you’d got it, you were pretty sure that you’d almost deafened Sunmi with your screams of excitement.
As a film major with an English literature minor, it was perhaps the dream job to combine both of your loves together and work with people who were just as enthusiastic about the world of film as you were. Your friends and family had long since grown bored of how you picked apart the latest films or their trailers, but now you would have an audience of thousands that would not only be receptive to it, but interested too.
In your earlier meeting with Namjoon and Seokjin, they’d laid out your responsibilities for you pretty clearly. Given that you were in your six month probation period, you would be expected to create two blog articles a week with the possibility of writing a video script if it was approved by the video team.
Two articles may not sound a lot, but you’d already been informed that you would also likely have to do some indepth research into the topics to provide factual information, along with making sure it wasn’t something that had been done before. Not only this, but you would be expected to be constantly scouring the internet to find new topics of interest and trying to catch the latest leaks before they even happened.
While you’d been hired for the film team, you’d been told that most people tended to dip into other areas to help out or if they had some particular interest in it. As such, you could be expected to possibly be asked to find out the Top 10 Facts About The NES or 15 Things You Never Knew About Taylor Swift or something.
Wasn’t the most scintillating of things to you, but you were willing to branch out and help if necessary. It was a small team and you understand that sometimes you’d need to pitch in when it was required of you, which in turn meant you knew that you could rely on the same help.
“Jimin is our music guy. He’s the one who usually writes the music blogs and videos but he also does the gaming stuff sometimes. Also has a regular book blog where he reviews obscure international books because that’s his thing.” Seokjin says, rolling his eyes as he leans against the desk.
Jimin’s desk is littered with piles of CD cases - who even uses CDs anymore? - along with three different pairs of headphones. He also has a ton of Funko Pop! Vinyl figures that you recognise to be musicians along with a set of Assassin’s Creed characters. You recognise them because Sunmi’s ex-boyfriend had them too.
“Really? You’re going to come into my space, and ruin my time while insulting me? Am I going to wake up tomorrow morning to find you shitting on my lawn too?” Jimin slumps back in his chair, pulling a pair of pink and white headphones over his head to rest around his neck while eyeing the taller man with narrowed eyes.
“You live on the top floor of an apartment building ‘Min. What am I? A wizard?”
“I wish. Maybe you’d wingardium leviosa your ass off my damn desk.” He grumbles, nodding his head at you. “Have you ever read In The Miso Soup by Ryu Murakami?”
The question is so sudden that you’re left standing with wide eyes, shaking your head slowly. You’d not read a lot of translated work in college, though you were hoping to change that. Jimin sighs and slumps in his seat, clicking on his mouse a few times.
“Fucking weird dude. Still not entirely sure what went on it.”
Before you can even respond, Seokjin is leading you over to the desk behind Jimin. This desk is even messier, only you really can see the artistic mess here. It’s covered in pencil sketches that are stacked haphazardly while a high tech looking electronic drawing pad takes up most of the space with even the keyboard pushed away.
The guy sat comfortably in the green and black gaming chair has a black beanie on his head too, only he has platinum blonde hair that covers his eyes. And what pretty eyes they are when he looks up at you; as if someone has reached up into the sky and plucked two of the brightest, shiniest stars and placed them directly onto him.
“Oh, hey. I’m Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook. I’m the graphic designer here...with a side passion of actual drawing obviously. I mostly use Photoshop but I like to get a bit hands on.” He talks rapidly, his voice quite deep but soft. Pausing, he bites on the black lip ring embedded in the right side of his lower lip before sitting back.
The vibrant and colourful tattoos that run up and down his arms do nothing to hide the obvious fit physique he has and you find yourself dragging your eyes away from that ridiculously broad chest. He’s only wearing a black shirt but my god.
Seokjin lets you both talk for a little, discovering that if you need anything made graphics wise then to let Jungkook know. Apparently he’s the head designer and has two more people under him; Jennie who deals with a lot of designing and Soyeon who handles their website and online shop.
You’re then introduced to Yoongi who is in charge of sound for the videos. He’s pretty quiet but friendly and bright, secluded away in the corner of the office with a soundboard in front of him, while his co-worker Lisa, a video editor, is entirely the opposite. They’re both sat on the same bank of desks, and the difference between Yoongi’s monochromatic desk and Lisa’s bubblegum pop explosion is almost amusing.
The video game team was made of Miyeon, Yugyeom and Baekhyun who all took up the corner on the opposite end of the office to you. You weren’t a huge gamer, but apparently the video game side of Poppin’ Culture was one of the most popular and profitable so you could understand why they had the largest team compared to the others.
Your desk is opposite Jimin’s, allowing you a view of him if you look to your right and it looks sparse compared to everyone else’s. The guy behind you is Taehyung and you’re pleased to discover that he’s friendly and warm with a bright box smile that makes you feel at home instantly.
Taehyung is the other content creator on the film team and someone that you’ll be working closely with, though apparently he also works with Jimin on music. From the short conversation you have with him, it seems that Taehyung mainly specialises in foreign film and you surmise that you’ll be left with most of the more mainstream options with the Oscar bait films being split between you both.
He seems enigmatic enough, with the white ribbon wrapped around his neck and billowing white button up shirt that ends with a pair of baggy, tan trousers. He’s not wearing any shoes, or socks, and you wonder if that’s a violation of something somewhere but no one seems to be saying anything.
His entire desk is full of various plants, artistic photographs in elegant frames and beautiful old film posters in miniature form. A photo of a black and tan Pomeranian is eagerly introduced to you as Yeontan, his dog and you can’t help but laugh at how excited he is to show off his lil pup.
But perhaps not as excited as you when you discover that Friday’s are ‘Bring Your Dog To Work’ day. Apparently Taehyung, Yoongi and Jennie all bring their dogs and it usually ends up just being people playing with them.
Yep, definitely the best workplace already.
“Hey Hoseok, come here before you sit down.” Seokjin calls out to the late entry into the office before looking at you. “I’ll introduce you to our head video editor. He’s the one who usually helps with recording videos, then he’ll edit it all together. He works closely with Jungkook for graphics and if you write a script then he’ll work with you to see if you want anything extra added in like humourous cuts, edits and so forth. He’s got Lisa on his team and a guy who works part time, Taemin.”
The man in question almost shuffles forward, a delicate looking hand gripping the brown fabric strap of his shoulder bag tightly while he looks down at his scruffy, black Converse clad feet as Seokjin introduces you to him. He looks about the same height as Seokjin, though all you can see is a head of messy chestnut brown hair and black circular lens glasses that looks like they’re going to fall off his nose.
“Nice shirt.” You say with an encouraging smile, wondering why Hoseok looks like he’s trying to crawl through the floor mentally. He looks up at that with almost shockingly wide eyes and you almost groan out loud.
This place is blessed or cursed. You’re not sure which yet.
He’s wearing a faded Jurassic Park shirt, the famous logo sliced by ‘dinosaur’ claws, while a pair of ever so slightly baggy and ripped denim jeans are kept up by an oversized tan fabric belt, the end trailing down to his knee. A knit grey cardigan covers his arms and you find it oddly endearing how it’s slipping off one slim shoulder, obviously far too big for him.
The shoulder bag he’s carrying also has the Back to the Future logo on it and you point at it with a grin. “Great Scott! I like your bag too.” You point then at your own chest, your shirt emblazoned with the Back to the Future logo and frown as his eyes dart down before his cheeks flush bright red.
His obvious shyness just seems to make him more endearing to you, and you let out a quiet laugh. There’s an almost awkward silence for a moment as Hoseok just stands there, giving Seokjin tiny glances before he finally sighs and points to the desk behind yours. Hoseok almost bolts there, disappearing behind the iMac and you look back at Seokjin with a raised brow.
He kneels down so he’s closer, the music of the radio that’s blasting out 80s classics drowning out anything he might say to you. “Hoseok’s a good guy, he’s just a little socially awkward. A hard worker, and he’ll do anything you ask but...it’s a little hard to get him to open up. Keep trying though, he will occasionally have a full conversation with you and I keep trying to make sure he’s included so he doesn’t feel left out. Don’t take it personally, it’s just how he is.”
Nodding, you turn on your own iMac and wait for it to boot up before going through the process of getting everything ready for you to work. Given it’s your first day, Seokjin just gives you some simple tasks to go through to help familiarise yourself with their method of working before leaving you to your own devices.
It’s as you’re sat reading through the style guideline for the blog that you watch as Hoseok suddenly appears in the corner of your vision. He’s rolled over to the edge of his desk, hands flipping through the stacked letter tray there as he searches for something while he presses his lips together and blows his cheeks out. You can’t help but watch him with idle interest as he does so.
He’s definitely cute, in fact he’s more than cute. Hoseok is actually stunningly beautiful and from the side, you’re getting to see his arresting profile with ease. A strong jawline swoops in bold lines on his face while his nose is a straight slope with the gentlest turn at the end, his lips thin but full enough to look delightfully kissable as he pouts suddenly without thinking as the tiny frown of concentration causes his strong brows to fold in.
As he finds what he needs, you watch as he disappears back behind his screen before sighing quietly to yourself.
It’s probably not very moral, but you definitely had enough new material to keep your spank bank going for a good few months now. If nothing else, you should thank Namjoon for that.
-
“Did you watch Roma yet?” Taehyung asks, rolling his chair backwards until he appears in your vision. His wispy blonde hair lays straight on his forehead as he rests his hands behind his neck, letting his long sleeved blue sweater stretch across his torso. It’s unusually tight for someone who basically lives in baggy clothes; you’re pretty sure he’s even worn his pyjamas once.
Over the last three months of you working at Poppin’ Culture, you’d understandably grown close with Taehyung as you’d bonded intensely over your love of film. It turns out he was also a film major with a photography minor, meaning he was exceptionally invested in the artsy films or just films with great cinematography.
You’d already been subjected to two passion filled rants of his about Mad Max: Fury Road and Blade Runner 2049 as being prime examples of great cinematography in big budget cinema. It was okay though, as you’d already chewed off his ear about why you thought Aliens was one of the best sequels ever made in history and he’d listened with interest.
There was nothing better than someone who was willing to indulge in your long winded talks about your favourite films; from cult classics to obscure favourites to Hollywood blockbusters. Your rapport with him was so good in fact, that Seokjin had had you do a test video with him to see how well you worked in front of the camera.
The results must have been positive as you’d been given a weekly film podcast with Taehyung that talked about the week’s releases along with any news in the film world. If there was time then you both would regale viewers with your favourite films and analyse them.
So far, it was doing pretty well and you were pleased with the numbers it was pulling in. Not to mention that people seemed to like your inclusion into the videos, which was why you’d ended up in a few other videos around music or even gaming just to voice over them. Taehyung had obviously been a hit.
He had a face for the camera and you’d already jokingly suggested in many a team meeting that they should make merchandise with just his face on it. His little fan club even named themselves ‘Taes Baes’.
“No, I haven’t had chance yet. I’ve been watching The Sinner, I’ve only got like two episodes left but I’ll check it out at some point! Alfonso Cuarón makes such good films; Gravity is still amazing and I’m still mind boggled at the sheer complexity of how that must have been to film with all the CGI they had to do but I feel like Roma looks a little more stripped down.”
Taehyung is nodding slowly, biting his lip almost absentmindedly as he listens to you. “Gravity is great, but you should definitely check out Children of Men. Much better, but Y Tu Mamá También is also phenomenal if you don’t mind the sexual scenes. But yeah, watch Roma. Definitely going to be a bit hit with the awards season and I can see him getting Best Director at the Oscars.”
“Really? It wouldn’t surprise me.” You muse, leaning back in your own chair and crossing your legs as you watch him now.
“Yep. And if he does win, then that’ll be his second Best Director win and it will also mean that Mexican directors have won five out of the last six. They’re killing the Oscars game lately. I still wish Barry Jenkins had won for Moonlight...way better than La La Land.” He sighs wistfully before nodding at your computer screen inquisitively, the beginnings of your latest blog post on the screen.
“Oh, I’m writing why I think Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse deserves the Best Animation at the Oscars. I liked The Incredibles and Ralph but if they win over the magnificence of Spider-Man then I will flip this table.” Pointing to your desk jokingly, Taehyung giggles sweetly.
Your desk has also changed over the last few months as well. A few cute Funko figures of your favourite Star Wars characters have popped up along with one or two more stylised figurines like your Xenomorph alien. Along with that, you’ve invested in some funky letter trays and pots to just bring some brightness to portray your personality a little more.
“I’ve not watched it yet. I know, feel free to pinch my arm. Hoseok has watched it though, he mentioned it the other day. Hey Hoseok, come here bro.” He calls out loudly, turning slightly to watch for the quiet man who spends his days on the computer behind yours.
Slowly, and adorably you might add, Hoseok’s meek face peers around the side of both his and your monitors as he stares owlishly at Taehyung beneath those outdated glasses. You’d say they were ugly, and they were, but he seemed to pull them off.
His hair is hidden today beneath a sand coloured beanie, leaving his entire face exposed and you coo softly at his tiny folded ears. It wasn’t something you’d noticed till Jimin had one day pointed over to the video editor, whispering words of adoration to you as he stared a little moon-eyed and lamented how his own ears didn’t look that cute.
It was beyond endearing, along with the slight pout his lips were pursed in. He probably hadn’t been listening to your conversation and so had no idea what was going on.
You’d noticed that Hoseok either kept an earphone in at all times or covered them with over-ear headphones when he wanted to work hard and not be disturbed. He certainly wasn’t rude but he definitely didn’t seem to be hugely confident in making conversations with people.
That didn’t stop people from trying to include him though, and you got the definite sense that everyone in the office adored Jung Hoseok and simultaneously wanted to hug him and protect him. You certainly did, and you were quite pleased that no one bullied him.
He, unfortunately, had the demeanour that would attract the attention of assholes but Seokjin and Namjoon ran a tight ship here. You did kind of wish that he got included in more outside events though.
“S-sorry. W-wh-what?” His voice is soft, the perfect mix of deep and high as he stutters out a response to Taehyung. The long sleeved shirt he’s wearing is almost salmon pink and has some generic looking cartoon on the front. It looks warm, and you find yourself lamenting the fact that you hadn’t brought a cardigan with you today.
“Spider-Man, the new one. You said to Jungkook that you’d watched it right?” There’s a moment of hesitation as Hoseok’s eyes flick to you before he’s nodding slowly. Almost immediately you grin brightly, not noticing the way that Hoseok pauses with his breath caught before his shoulders shift up to his ears.
“Oh my god, wasn’t it so good? The animation is just beautiful, it makes me want to scream. Like those cityscape shots? Could easily be mistaken for a photo if you just showed someone it. And the perfect blending of the different art styles of the Spider-People and god the music was so good. Miles is amazing and if it doesn’t win then I’m gonna Hulk out,” You pause and look at Taehyung who’s smirking in amusement. “Seriously, I don’t even know how to describe the animation. Think 3D...but not. You get me, right Hoseok?”
Hoseok’s eyes go astonishingly wide once more as you question and his mouth opens and closes a few times as he struggles to find an answer for you. He just settles for nodding quickly, reaching up to pull his beanie off and sort out his hair.
The chestnut locks have gone a bit wild under his hat and you have to bite your lip to stop laughing at how it goes all over the place, though another part of you wants to aww at how cute he looks.
“One day Hoseok, one day I’ll get you to spout poetic bullshit about a film you love.” You tease lightly, tapping at your gel wrist rest that lays alongside your keyboard to ease the pressure on your wrists as you type. He swallows audibly, causing you to laugh out loud while Taehyung chuckles and shakes his head.
“Hoseok has fucking terrible film taste. He thinks Batman v Superman was actually good.” Jungkook calls out and you turn to look at the graphic designer. He’s reclining in his chair, hands over his stomach with an ankle hooked over his knee while he observes the scene on the other side of the office.
Jimin is in the exact same position behind him while he nods his head sagely and you gasp in horror, a hand to your chest as you look back at Hoseok. “Say it isn’t so Hoseok.”
The man in question looks like he wants to sink through the floor as he gives a meagre shrug. Your wail of horror has him cringing while everyone else in the office sniggers and Taehyung pats your back in consolation.
“This can’t be. Why? Is it because your mom is named Martha too?” Jungkook lets out a bark of laughter at that while Jimin creases, folding over in his chair as his forehead rests against his knees from the force of his laugh.
Hoseok attempts to speak a few more times before he frowns deeply, taking a deep breath and shaking his head. “N-no. That was d-d-dumb. I just like Batman. I-i-it’s not my favourite f-f-film but it’s not terrible.”
You lean back and stare at him, raising a brow slowly as you narrow at your eyes at him. “What is your favourite film then?”
This is probably the most you’ve talked to Hoseok in the whole three months about non-job related work. You’re actually surprised he’s engaging this far, and you study him closely to make sure he doesn’t look uncomfortable or unhappy. The last thing you want is him to get upset.
But he doesn’t back down from your question, instead staring at something on his desk intently before looking back at you. You almost lean back in reaction, the intensity of his gaze far stronger than you’d expected and you’re surprised to feel a slight stirring of sexual lust for him. While you’d always acknowledge he was handsome - wasn’t everyone in this place? - you’d never quite seen Hoseok in a ‘oh holy cow’ light until right now.
“I-I-I don’t have one. B-b-but I like Jurassic Park and Blade Runner. And the Godfather. Oh, and Big Hero 6.” He adds as an afterthought, and you feel oddly proud that he didn’t stutter throughout the rest of the conversation. It was obviously just a nerves thing, but you kind of hope that he’ll get a bit bolder if you keep trying with him.
“Good choices. Solid. Not pretentious like the avant garde master here. He probably watches his porn in French black and white too.” A casual thumb thrown in Taehyung’s direction gets you the finger in response.
“It’s black and white softcore German, you heathen. No one does the group sex quite as good. The camera angles when there’s so many bodies.” He kisses the tips of his fingers before blowing them in the air, causing you to stare at him with a slightly grossed out face.
Looking at Jimin, you shake your head. “You know, I’ve only known the two of you for three months now. But I can easily see how you started dating. You with your weird music and books and Taehyung with your pretentious films.”
Taehyung gasps theatrically before smiling, fully aware that you’re joking around with him. Jimin on the other hand, snorts loudly and sticks his tongue out at you. “Hey, there’s nothing weird about my music choices. And what the hell. You’ve been listening to Billie Eilish non-stop lately according to your Spotify. And while she’s incredibly talented, I wish she’d lighten up a little.”
Turning to look at the cotton candy haired guy, though his hair was mostly hidden today by a black ball cap, you raise an eyebrow slowly. “Firstly, don’t insult Billie like that! Her songs are beautiful and soothe my soul. And also, this coming from the guy who listens to Morrissey. Unironically, I might add. Your opinion is invalid in this conversation.”
“...You know what. I can't even argue that. You right.” Jimin shrugs in defeat and sits back while Taehyung makes consoling noises at his boyfriend from his seat.
The delicate snort from behind your monitor makes your eyes widen, causing you to shift over slightly to watch Hoseok as he giggles. His white teeth peek out at you as he bites on his lower lip to try and contain his laugh.
And from how pretty and sweet it sounded, you wish he wouldn’t. The soft noises he lets out are oddly infectious, causing you to laugh in turn with a pretty dopey expression on your face and making you completely oblivious to the sly look Jimin and Taehyung are sharing.
“You love Imagine Dragons too, right? Hoseok listens to them all the time.” Taehyung says helpfully, gesturing with his chin towards the man behind your monitor.
Spinning back, you look at Hoseok with a happy grin and clap your hands together excitedly. “Oh my god, yes! I’m in love with Bad Liar right now, and Zero is so fun. I think Jimin keeps laughing at me for dancing in my seat.”
Hoseok doesn’t respond to you properly though, just nodding his head and smiling slightly as you playfully glare at the slim man across the office.
“On the subject of dating though...Hoseok. Have you ever had a girlfriend before? Or boyfriend, if that’s your thing.” Jimin asks, his tone not even slightly sly and you look at him in surprise. If he was trying to not be obvious, then he was being about as subtle as the Seattle Space Needle. Surely they’d already know this right?
As far as you’ve gathered, Jimin has been at Poppin’ Culture for four years and Taehyung for three. The two had started dating two years ago and despite your teasing, you were already confident that they were two of the cutest couples you’d ever seen.
Hoseok though, had apparently been with the company for years. He’d gone to college with Namjoon, Chaeyoung and Seokjin and had a film production degree. Namjoon had started Poppin’ Culture when he was 19, in his second year, and Hoseok had come on board once they’d branched out to a YouTube channel.
Still, you’re surprised by the way Hoseok’s cheeks go bright red and his eyes dart to you for a moment before he’s looking down at his desk once more. A wet tongue peeks out of his mouth quickly as he licks along his lips to wetten them, coughing to clear his throat before he’s looking back up at Jimin with a frown.
“Would you like the name of my e-e-ex-girlfriend? I’m s-s-socially awkward, not inept.” You suck your lower lip between your teeth as you look at Jimin with a ‘wtf’ look. As nice as he was, he was a bit blunt and you felt that situation could have probably done with a little more tactful handling. Hoseok looked like he could fry an egg on his cheeks and Jimin winces at the glare both Taehyung and you give him.
“Sorry man. I was out of line. I didn’t mean to insult you.” The apology is sincere in tone, with Jimin ducking his head and turning back to his work. You watch carefully as Hoseok eyes the younger man before letting out a quiet sigh and nodding his acceptance.
The atmosphere is slightly awkward now, and you’re desperate to make Hoseok less uncomfortable which is why you find yourself blurting out words you immediately want to swallow back up. “If it makes you feel any better, I’ve not had a boyfriend since I was 20 and I’ve not been laid in four years.”
Almost immediately your hand is slapping over your mouth as your eyes widen in horror, apologies falling from your lips like honey as your cheeks burn with embarrassment.
Not only are Hoseok’s eyes resembling dinner plates, his jaw dropped open in shock, but so is just about everyone else’s in the office. Well, that’s certainly one way to make him feel better about himself you guess.
“I’m sorry for your loss. Everyone, we need to be careful with her. She’s going through some tough times. Only 26 and already looking at a life of non-sexual fulfilment.” Taehyung drones deeply, his voice faux-sincere and you glare at him while pushing his hand off your shoulder.
“I will delete your folder of obscure foreign films.” You hiss at him through narrowed eyes, causing him to burst out into laughter as his hand slaps his thigh in amusement.
“Oh god, you crack me up. I need to thank Seokjin for hiring you, seriously. God, get on with your Spider-Man boner before you accidentally reveal something else way too intimate for the workplace to know.” He snorts before rolling back to his own desk. The office thankfully goes back to normal after that, the low level of chatter competing with the soft sounds of today’s playlist.
Looking at your screen, you’re distracted momentarily by the sight of Hoseok still in view just around your monitor. He’s looking at you in that way people do when they’ve checked out, their brains focused on something else entirely and you watch him back in amusement until he realises.
Almost immediately he cringes, bowing his head slightly and giving an uncomfortable smile before sliding back out of view. Smiling, you shake your head and pop your headphones back into your ears as you get back to work.
You’re oddly pleased to see Hoseok stand up for himself bluntly, and you remind yourself not to baby him. He’s a grown man after all, older than you.
The flashing of your phone lets you see that you’ve got a new notification from Facebook, and you roll your eyes as you click on your screen to see what it is. What you see however has you slowly smiling as a flutter of butterflies take flight in your stomach and you tap accept eagerly.
You have a new friend request: Jung Hoseok
-
The next few weeks roll by quickly with Taehyung and you becoming inundated with awards season nominations, ceremonies and just general Oscar bait films. It had even resulted in a whole ‘Top 10 Oscar Bait Films’ video on the Poppin’ Culture Film YouTube channel which had proven remarkably popular, even spawning a sequel that was generated purely from user comments.
You’re actually surprised with just how much you continue to love your job, even with the sheer pressure of blog and video deadlines constantly breathing down your neck. And it doesn’t take you long to realise that it’s because of the people you work with who make working that overtime all the more sweeter.
Jimin is genuinely hilarious and when paired up with Jungkook he becomes hysterical. Lisa has easily become your female work best friend, with the two of you Skyping all the time on your work computers and soon venturing out into the world to go to dinners, concerts and the cinema while Taehyung is an incredibly hard working colleague who always keeps a close on eye on how you’re doing.
It’s genuinely one of the best places you’ve ever worked and you thank all your lucky stars that you’d been accepted because you were pretty sure that you were making some of the closest friends you could.
And then there was Hoseok.
Jung Hoseok still remained a mystery to you and you weren’t entirely sure why you so desperately wanted to figure him out. Or maybe not figure him out, because you kind of liked how shy and mysterious he is.
The rest of your colleagues have been pretty open books and you were pretty sure that you were on the verge of receiving daily updates on Jimin and Taehyung’s sex life - you were that close with the two. But you still knew almost nothing about Hoseok and it drove you wild.
What was even more annoying was the fact that only you were apparently bothered by it too. The others just shrugged and said that he’d always been quiet and introverted, so they just made it clear to him that they were there if he wanted to talk or make friends with them. Apparently he never went out on the workplace socials and he rarely talked to others via text or Skype.
Which kind of infuriated you, because it probably was true that Hoseok preferred to be alone and lost in his world of music. But there must be something horribly isolating about never getting invited to things or never being included, which is why you kept trying to include him in your own conversations. The others would sometimes talk around him, but you always tried to make sure that he felt comfortable and included in your conversations.
Taehyung had honestly admitted in a meeting that he wasn’t entirely sure why you kept asking Hoseok things, pointing out that you might be annoying him. But you’d countered with the fact that you always gave Hoseok plenty of options to slip out of the conversation, yet he would continue it on sometimes.
It had been then that Taehyung had flushed a pretty golden pink, nodding his head as he acknowledged the fact that Hoseok had opened up more in the last few months of you being here than in the years he’d been here. That on its own had made your heart hurt. No one could enjoy being so easily disregarded, no matter how quiet and introverted.
Currently though, you were slouched on your couch with your best friend, Sunmi, as you both ate pepperoni pizza while watching Avengers: Infinity War for the bajillionth time. You, because you just loved the film, and her because she really loved Chris Hemsworth.
Honestly? Mood.
“I swear, this is the most badass entry scene of any entry scene in all of film,” You blurt out randomly, lifting your fist as Thor appears on screen in the middle of the battlefield and shouting out alongside him. “Bring. Me. Thanos!”
Sunmi snorts elegantly from your side, taking a bite of greasy pizza and chewing slowly while she eyes up her fictional man with pleasure. A hum of delight leaves her when Thor meets up with Captain America and you laugh, poking at her side.
“Imagine being in a Chris sandwich.” She looks at you and wiggles her carefully put together eyebrows before giggling.
“I wish. God, they can wreck me any day. You know, I can’t believe that you get to watch stuff like this and then write about it or make a video about it. Why can’t I just laze around and do that? Do they have an opening for me?” She pouts at you, placing the crust back in the box before wrapping her hands around your wrist and playfully whining.
You laugh loudly and take a bite of your own slice. “For what? Sorry Elle Woods, but you’re going to have keep your bending and snapping for the judge and jury. I doubt Poppin’ Culture - The Law Version will be very popular.”
“What about if I wear a hot pink bikini?” She says seriously, her face carefully blank as you give her a droll stare.
“Yeah sure, lemme give PornHub a call. I’m sure they’ve got a whole audience just waiting for their law lectures from Bikini Girl 3.” Sunmi shrieks with laughter at that, rolling backwards until her head is hitting the arm of the sofa and relaxing into the pile of cushions there.
Reaching her foot up, she prods at your thigh annoyingly until you push her away with a sigh.
“So, how is your work though? You’ve been spending a lot of time there. Which, by the way, is ridiculous. I only spend extra time doing work if I’m getting paid for it because I do not enjoy my job that much.” Sunmi sighs heavily, letting her arms fall behind her head as she turns her gaze back to your large television screen.
“Okay firstly, it was your decision to take a law degree. Your parents are assholes but they’re not dickish. They would have been fine with you being a doctor instead. Secondly, you make so much money an hour that you shouldn’t complain. You can literally buy a pair of Jimmy Choos with an hour.” Closing the pizza box, you lean forward and place it onto your wooden coffee table before leaning back and patting your stomach affectionately.
“Firstly you bitchass, I don’t make a lot because I’m still not fully qualified yet. It costs a lot to be a lawyer and the work is boring because I’m in property law. Yawn. Secondly, I hate property law but I would’ve passed out being a doctor. Blood and snot? No thanks. Maybe I should just give it all up and go back to college to become an artist.” She says dreamily and you look over at her with a raised brow.
“Do it. If it’s what you want. Your life shouldn’t be made on a decision you did based on what your parents wanted for you, as much as you might want to make them happy. They’re not your life, and you’ll burn out quicker if you do something you hate.” Sunmi just hums before shifting the pillows until she’s looking at you.
“Still. It’s nice that you’re enjoying it. I’m happy for you. I need to meet this Lisa, so you better set up a playdate or something. If she’s banging, I may just bang her. I mean, if you’re alright with that. And she likes girls.” Sunmi wiggles her brow and you laugh, shaking your head slowly.
“I think Lisa swings both ways honestly, so go for it. She’s pretty and cute with a really nice and fun personality. I wish I could introduce you to Jimin and Taehyung as well. They’re funny individually but hilarious together. Urgh, I wish I had someone the way Jimin eyefucks Tae across the room.”
“Does he realise you can see that?” She asks, an incredulous look on her face and you nod with a laugh.
“Oh yeah. He just gives me an innocent smile. They’re fun though and make me laugh, it’s like a family.” You sigh softly, slumping down further into the couch pillow. Sunmi’s quiet for a few seconds before speaking again.
“What about that quiet guy? Hoseok right?” Pausing, you chew on your lip as you stare blankly at the screen and wonder how to describe him to her.
“Hoseok...is sweet. Quiet but sweet. He doesn’t get involved in conversations of his own accord still, but I include him and he’ll get more involved now. We even have whole conversations just him and I, particularly about our love of 80s films though they’re not very long conversations. It’s nice, I’m literally watching him become more integrated and it’s kind of annoying that everyone just let him stagnate in his isolation. Like, seriously. Did no one ever think that maybe he doesn’t get involved because people have let him isolate himself? It’s hard to pull yourself out of that, and he’s obviously trying.” You don’t even realise you’re half ranting until you see Sunmi’s bemused smile, causing your cheeks to heat.
“Anyway, yeah. He’s a lot more caring than people think too. He just doesn’t show it in ways that you or I would, nor does he talk about them. Like...the other week I came in one morning to find a tube of dissolvable vitamin C tablets on my desk. When I asked where they’d come from, Hoseok Skyped me and said that he thought I looked like I was lacking a bit of vitamin C and to take one with water every day. And then when I was feeling a bit tired, he made me a cup of green tea. I swear Sunmi, he was so sweet and adorable because he kept stumbling over his words while telling me that green tea was healthy and rejuvenating but he didn’t like the taste so he always has peppermint and he hoped I liked peppermint too.”
Sunmi says nothing for a moment and you look at her in confusion, wondering why she’s suddenly decided to be quiet. It’s not like her to not get involved in your conversations, only she’s staring at you with wide eyes and a pretty mouth that’s fallen open.
“Oh my god. You like him.” Her words cause you to pause, frowning immediately as you shake your head in denial.
“What? No I don’t. I mean, yeah as a friend. Or I hope as a friend, but not anything more than that.” She lets out a peal of high pitched laughter while sitting up, looking closely at your face with those mahogany eyes of hers.
“Yes, you do. Oh my god, he is not even remotely your type from the sounds of it yet you’re falling hard girl. Show me a picture of him.” You want to keep denying her, mind spinning from what she’s come out with as you wonder where she’s got this impression from.
But once Sunmi has made up her mind, then it’s game over for everyone else. Sure enough, you find yourself scrolling through your phone on Facebook to find a nice picture of him to show her. And as you look through his, admittedly few, profile pictures, you pause for a moment as you realise that maybe she’s right.
Only people who like someone try and find the best looking picture of them, too afraid that their friend or family member will laugh and think their crush ugly. The swooping sensation in your stomach is confusing, and you don’t know whether it’s shy excitement or just plain old nausea.
Finally deciding on a picture of Hoseok that has obviously been taken in a coffee shop, you turn the phone screen so she can see. It’s got dim lighting, and has looks to have been taken on a Polaroid style camera from the style of it but he looks good.
In fact, he looks beautiful and his bright smile kind of takes your breath away.
He’s just wearing a plain white, long sleeved shirt with dark brown hair parted in the centre, the strands laying carelessly on his forehead while those beautiful chocolate eyes stare out from behind the lenses of his glasses. The table blocks anymore view of him and yet you can’t help but feel the fluttering in your stomach slowly spread along your veins.
Hoseok’s smiles are still rare, but they’ve slowly been becoming more frequent as you continue to talk to him. And every time you think he should smile more often, because he has a face that’s made for a smile.
His mouth is stretched wide with perfectly white, straight teeth showing and the force of the expression causes his eyes to narrow, soft tan cheeks looking adorably kissable.
Oh, you’re totally fucked.
“Holy shit…are you kidding me? This is Quiet Guy? Shy Guy? Holy fuck girl. He’s gorgeous! Look at that smile, oh my god. And he has such pretty eyes, that’s just not fair. Oh, please go for him. I know I said that he’s not your type because you normally like either those hipster guys or bad boys but he looks like he’d be so good for you. He looks kind, like you’d call him and say you’re sick and he comes right over to make you food and wraps you up in a blanket before cuddling with you, telling you that you need body heat to stay warm.” You look at her with a raised brow as she takes your phone and scrolls through his photos.
“And he obviously likes you.” Her words throw you then, causing you to frown as you stare before finally asking why she thinks.
“Because you said it yourself. He talks to you, even when he doesn’t talk to the others. You’ve said he keeps conversations going with you. He added you on Facebook first and he’s taking care of you in a weird but cute way of flirting. Like I said, he looks like he’d be a good boyfriend because he’s already trying to make sure you’re healthy and okay.”
She hands your phone back and points at the screen, where a new photo of Hoseok is. It’s not from his profile pictures, so you just presume it’s one that someone took of him and tagged him in. He’s asleep on his side on a couch, his right cheek smooshed into a pillow while his other looks soft and round. Pink lips pout in his sleep, the ends turned up while his lashes remain firmly closed and his hair is all over the place.
You have the strongest urge to reach through the screen to kiss his cheek.
“I think you should think on it, because I know you. And you’re probably having a little internal argument right now about whether or not you like him. But...if you decide that you do. Then I think you should go for it, because he looks nice. Get to know him a bit more, get him to open up his walls to you a bit more and then see if he really is interested. It’s been a while since you smiled like that about someone, and even longer since you searched through their pictures to find me the most flattering.” Dammit, you knew she’d figure you out.
You don’t respond though, simply locking your phone and placing it down on the cushion next to you as you both turn your attention back to the film. But you can’t help the what if’s that float around in the back of your mind, wondering if perhaps she’s right not only about yourself, but also him.
Did Hoseok like you?
-
Quite understandably, your interactions with Hoseok are suddenly tinged with a film of awkwardness as you contemplate the fact that you quite possibly like your shy colleague. And that’s to say nothing of how closely you watch his interactions with you to see if there’s a chance that he likes you in the way you like him.
Honestly, anyone would think you were 14 and not 26.
But he made you feel like a teenager though. The fluttering of nervous excitement in your stomach whenever he would look at you with that soft, bashful smile he’d give you whenever he caught your eye in the office. The way you would feel sad resentment when he was ill or was working from home and so didn’t come in.
How could you not though? Not only was he soul wrenchingly handsome and pretty, he was also thoughtful with the few conversations he would engage in and he was so sweet and kind.
When you’d complimented him on the peppermint green tea he’d brought you the other week, you found yourself with a mug being made every time he got up to go to the kitchen. You’d be completely absorbed in your work, staring at your screen intently with headphones in to keep distractions at bay, when you’d suddenly smell the pleasant scent of peppermint drifting to your nose.
And then you’d look to your side and see a fresh cup of tea sat there, steaming slowly in your Star Wars mug.
A quick glance behind your screen would let you see Hoseok staring firmly at his screen, refusing to look at you and yet his cheeks tinging a rosy glow that made your heart tug. It was only fair to respond in kind, and so you’d taken to making him a cup of your favourite tea as well, delicious salted caramel, and leaving it on his desk.
He hadn’t complained, so you took that as a sign that he enjoyed it too.
Maybe others would look at your interactions with laughter or bemusement, but you liked them. If he was flirting with you, because let’s face it you were flirting with him, then you were quietly excited and hopeful. You could cope with glacial, as long as it would hopefully result in something at the end.
Currently, you were attempting to film a video talking about the films that were snubbed completely at the Oscars. Taehyung had written up the script for you but was suffering from a winter cold at home. You’d claim man-flu, only you’d video called him and seen the dark circles under his eyes, sallow skin and bright red nose as he’d sniffled and snorted his way through your conversation.
As a result, you’d had to grab your emergency make-up kit from your drawer and rush to the bathroom to apply it. Today had been a lazy day; meaning you were just wearing a pair of ratty black jeans and an ancient Star Wars shirt that had once been black but was now an odd shade of grey.
Once you’d felt that you looked at the very least passable to the potentially thousands upon thousands of people who would be watching your face, you rush back through the office to place your kit back before heading over to the recording room. Tapping on the door lightly, you open it up to find Hoseok and Lisa inside as they set up the camera and lighting.
Already, the big ring lights are glaring and you’re feeling hot as you move over to the two, watching as they mess with the camera before checking over the computer on the desk next to it. Lisa moves around to the front, standing over the duct tape X on the floor and clipping the tiny microphone onto her shirt while waiting for Hoseok.
He’s wearing a plain white shirt today with a yellow and black check shirt open over the top and a plain pair of jeans. For some reason, he’s apparently decided to emulate Jungkook and is wearing some tan Timberland’s as well, though they surprisingly work well with the outfit.
You’ve noticed that Hoseok isn’t exactly the most fashionable person, but he’s yet to wear something that you find genuinely offensive. In fact, you often find that he manages to look hot even when he really shouldn’t. Maybe it’s just a talent attractive people have?
Hoseok gives a small nod to Lisa as his eyes flicker up from the screen, the light being reflected in his glasses. Lisa begins to talk random nonsense, performing a soundcheck to make sure the microphone is working properly while also making sure the camera’s fine.
Once done, she helps you to thread the microphone through your shirt and clip it on while placing the main pack into your back pocket. You stand on the X while going over the script that you can read on the screen reader facing you on the table.
Lisa slips away while you’re busy practicing, going through quick vocal exercises to warm your voice up as you continue to read over what you’re going to say. In your mind, you’re already visualising what the video will look like and you kind of feel sad that Taehyung can’t do this. It’s a good script.
“Okay. Are you ready?” Hoseok’s voice is soft and light, every word sounding like it has been cautiously thought of before he speaks it. You smile slightly as your head nods forward in response to him before clearing your throat and clenching your hands a few times while letting out a deep breath.
“Am I in the right place?” Looking down at the floor, you make sure that your feet are squarely on the spot and Hoseok looks through the camera before giving a cute okay symbol with a wink and pressed smile. It causes you to bite your own lower lip, desperately keeping inside the ‘cute’ that wants to escape.
“Okay, recording in three...two…” He stops speaking after that and mouths out the final one before pressing the button to record, a red light sparking to life on the camera and immediately you’re smiling brightly.
There’s no real pressure on you to do a good take in one shot, because Hoseok will be editing the scenes together and making some shorter to suit the video anyway. But you don’t really like wasting unnecessary hard drive space for him if possible. Plus, it just means he has to stare at your foolish facial expressions for longer and you’d really rather not.
On that note, it’s a little unfair that he gets to watch your face up close with a 4K camera. Actually, you’ve never thought about that before and almost immediately your brows crease at the thought of him seeing every pore and blemish on your skin. Christ, the camera does not do anyone justice and you want to whine at the thought of him seeing all your bad points in such harsh lighting.
When you don’t actually start speaking and instead start making a distressed face, Hoseok’s head peeks out from behind the monitor and he frowns at you in turn. Eyes focusing on his pretty visage, you have to squint slightly to see him properly from behind the astonishingly bright lights set up but you shake your head to reassure him.
Rolling your head on your shoulders and blowing bubbles with your lips, completely unaware of the tiny amused smile on Hoseok’s lips as he watches you through the monitor, you force yourself to get back into the zone.
The rest of the hour spent recording goes more or less like usual, with multiple outtakes when you mess things up and cause yourself to laugh. One of the hardest things of recording videos is just being able to being able to speak properly. You’ve had to learn to over-enunciate sometimes to avoid slurring your words together, because that just encourages hate from viewers.
And you are not in the mood to get hate. It’s already hard enough being a female commentator on the channel, and you’d had to grow some pretty thick skin in both the comments and on your own social media.
But there were plenty of equally great people too in fairness, and you’d even kind of got to know some regular viewers from the constant interactions you got both on your videos and on your own Twitter account. It was nice to have a mini fan club of people who were willing to defend you against the trolls and raise you up when you’re feeling down, though it’s not nearly as many as Taehyung’s extortionately big legion of fans.
There’s only a few major mishaps this time, with a few pronunciations of your words going horrifically bad and you find yourself cringing. Hoseok has a good chuckle on occasion and the bright bubbles of his laughter make you smile in turn, heart sparking with happiness at making him laugh.
Once Hoseok gave the signal to indicate that he was pretty happy with the recording, you let your shoulders drop while your head falls back on your shoulders, a deep groan leaving you as your entire body relaxes. Reaching to pull the microphone and its pack from under your shirt, you move over to Hoseok as he turns the light and camera off before he’s checking over the computer to transfer the new video files to his solid state drive.
“Did everything look good in it?” You ask, leaning your hip against the desk while your arms cross over your chest. Hoseok pauses for a moment at your close proximity before looking up at you slowly, his beautiful brown eyes looking sweetly innocent and big as he takes you in.
It’s still ridiculously endearing how shy he gets around you, but what you like even more is how it’s only when he’s not doing work related things. The last hour has been spent with him practically bossing you around, barking out polite requests when you’ve moved out of frame or have said something wrong.
He wasn’t mean about it or anything, he just took his job very seriously and it’s what made him such a damn good videographer and video editor. He knew what he needed and wasn’t afraid to tell people what to do in regards to that, so the sudden reversal back into the meek Hoseok tugged at your heart.
“Y-yeah. You did good. Less bad shots today.” You pout at him theatrically before pushing lightly at his shoulder, just enough to make him rock where he stands.
“Hey! There’s no need to be mean. You make it sound like I’m as bad Yugyeom! I don’t mess up that bad.” Lower lip sticking out, you look down at the floor until Hoseok lets out a soft and breathy laugh, shaking his head while adjusting his glasses slightly.
“I-I didn’t mean-. I’m not saying anything else,” He looks at you and gives you a wry smile. “I-I’m not stupid. I think I’ve dug enough of my own grave here.”
You can’t help but laugh out at that as you lean forward, body moving of its own accord before you move around him and rest your hand on his shoulder. It’s warm and solid beneath your palm, even through the layers he’s wearing and you swallow in sudden awareness of the firmness of him.
He freezes in place subtly as well, the muscles under your fingers tensing a little as neither of you move for a moment. It’s the first time you’ve ever touched him, and neither of you really seem to know what to do.
Swallowing, you let out a chuckle that’s a little higher pitched than you perhaps intended but you try to make it sound as natural as you can. Even if you’re feeling a little overwhelmed now when your hand feels warm and bizarrely sweaty.
“Funny, you’re way funnier than I thought Hobi!” The nickname you’d overheard Seokjin calling him once slips out without meaning to and you cringe with gritted teeth behind his back, taking your hand off his shoulder to pinch your leg at your stupidity. “Well, I hope it goes well. Let me know if there’s anything you need from me or just when it’s done so I can look it over? Thanks and bye!”
You can’t stop how fast the words fall from your lips, a faucet stuck on full when what you really want is a vault so tight not even the crown jewels of England can get out of it. Giving him an awkward smile, you book it out of the recording room as quickly as you can and leave him alone.
In fact, you go so fast that you don’t get to see the way Hoseok watches after you with widened eyes of shock which soon melt into half-moons of unguarded happiness in the quiet room. His hand shakes as it moves up to press at the place your own hand had been, the skin feeling prickly underneath and his breath shakes as a hesitant smile slowly paints its way on his face.
You don’t see that, nor do you see the way he pauses on a close up of your face with a fond smile before closing the programme down and leaving.
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valiantchopshopharmony · 4 years ago
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Starting a Photography Business Will Be Easier With These 30 Free Tips
When you are a keen photographer and you've got the urge to devote your working life doing something you like such as photography, then it will be a pity if you did not pursue it further would not it? You truly don't need to combine an institution or cover thousands of bucks to begin either. You merely want the fire to understand and persist.
It is correct that there's riches to be made from photography and I am not planning to down play that make a pitch to the contrary since in each instance, it's been around the person. Meaning - it depends on what style of photography they select, how long they put in the company, Photography Course in south Delhi do they have a business bent, are somewhat more arty than normal etc.. These points come to play when achievement in a photography company or studio is contested.
I really don't need to make some false hopes by that last paragraph since victory will need some hard work, patience and tolerance. These subsequent thirty tips should help you on the way.
Where do I obtain information about constructing a photography company?
1. Apart from that, the world wide web is the largest source of advice and can supply you with various career opportunities or more info on starting a photography company.
At which level would you like to begin your photography company?
2. This is actually the trickiest question a individual considering starting a company experiences. It's essential to determine what sort of photography company you would like to ensure the applicable requirements and (occasionally ) finance could be muscled up. short term photography courses in south east delhi
When is the ideal time to initiate a fully-fledged photography company?
3. After deciding what you want and some additional necessary equipment that's required to prepare the basic infrastructure, then you'll have to think about carefully your primary instrument - the camera, be it film or digital. You also have to consider carefully a trusted, high quality PC and great relevant software to control your photos using special effects. If the company has been undertaken on a huge scale then perhaps a growing lab has to be established and planned.
O what type of places will yield actual income to your enterprise?
4. A newly established company in photography demands a confident place or a beat (working anyplace ), as in journalism. Once recognized, company may also be diversified into a lot more fields.
O Assembling a photography portfolio
5. It's always very important to compile a fantastic portfolio so far as photography is concerned. A portfolio must have an assortment of applicable photographic work which you think to be remarkable. Ensure photographs are unusual in nature and are from varied fields. Your portfolio has to have the ability to impress the customer from the very first assembly.
6. Just keep your very best work from the folder so you don't embarrass yourself or wind up needing to describe photographs that are not applicable.
7. Publish spontaneous photographs that you think are of fantastic quality. You would be amazed how many men and women respond favorably to individuals expressions when they're great shots.
Food styling courses in west delhi
8. A canvas backdrop of minimum 7-9 foot along with the background colours should be navy or white as minimal requirements to begin using; a well-branded studio lighting system like that of Norman & Speedtron; accredited picture manipulation applications like Photoshop, Corel Paint Shop, etc..
Is there a demand for establishing a cosmetics studio as a portion of your photograph studio?
9. Makeup and photography frequently go together. Wherever cosmetics is involved it can be known as trick photography since cosmetics is capable of entirely changing somebody's character, and at times significance to some product in the event of advertising photography.
What type of photo-editing applications available on the industry?
10. Photo-editing applications by which particular effects and total adjustments to a photograph are possible and may also frequently save the demand for a shoot.
11.
Is storage and therapy of photos crucial in building photographs company?
12. Never embrace laxity whilst archiving or handling photos. You may regret it afterwards. Storage and accessibility efficiency will improve or enhance your working atmosphere. Often elderly photographs become more precious with time.
How can be photos be stored readily aside from the traditional method?
13. Today's cameras are exceptionally versatile and enables transfers and downloads from exceptionally surprising devices such as your cellphone but images may also be saved onto a CD's, USB's and DVD's too.
O picking a Camera
14. Stick to w ell recognized manufacturer. The degree of mega pixel provided and high quality of this zooming facility has to be looked into carefully.
15. The majority of the cameras are compatible with all printers and computers and because we use memory sticks, so we're free to work invisibly.
O what type of a site does one person must get?
16. Your assortment of photos have to be correctly categorized under different categories. Visual look of your site will work amazing things for your company so consider establishing one with semi automatic automation in which the upkeep and challenging work is done for you enjoy photostockplus.
17. Don't forget to continuously update and maintain your site so that every time people encounter your site, they will discover nice something fresh and intriguing.
18. Copyright is the right protects the individual who owns who shot the photos. A smart exercise if you're seeking to utilize some inventory homes for business purposes.
O What's a company card useful?
19. In each company, visiting cards are all useful. It's very helpful in for folks to get in touch with you after your initial meeting. It has to include all of your contact details. If you are a photographer, a smart impressive graphic or an image of yourself along with your gear is greatest. Your telephone number or email has to be simple to read. I've seen cards which have big names and graphics and the telephone numbers are so small they're hard to read. Ridiculous! Make your telephone number the most significant thing about the card that's what most folks will use it to get.
O Which things have to be considered as you intend to construct a wedding photography company?
20. Wedding Photography is another artwork unto itself. There are various things to consider for a really prosperous wedding shoot. I've prepared another guide to manage this in more detail and it is about --Wedding Photography. --
O Benefit of mission photography
21. Assignment photography is that division of photography in which a individual has been engaged or consigned to catch pictures of something striking and extraordinary, including in the case of advertisements or portrait photography; this can supply you a steady income once you have learned the principles.
O Benefit of stock photography
22. This is sometimes a slow haul but when your photos are nicely thought out, it may be the origin of a continuing income. --My favourite is istockphotos--.
O Other areas where you are able to sell your photographic series?
23. Art displays are the ideal platform from wherever your imagination and work will probably be really appreciated because in these areas you will get some niche clients which have a sharp eye for actual talent. Such areas are proven to attract immediate fame.
24.
O Costs to be billed from the customers
25. At the first phases of your organization, do not attempt to charge exorbitant sums otherwise it'll give the incorrect impression and you'll possibly lose a precious long-term customer. Tread slowly. Ring other research and photographers. Five telephone calls must perform it.
Advertising Your photography company
26. You have to attempt to advertise your work at important areas. Pictures may also be printed on the net. Book over the net will boost customer enquiry. Do not forget to hunt for appropriate regional markets and find the snaps published in a local journal or paper and constantly exhibit your contact number carefully - consistently!
27. Placing and popularizing a company is a difficult call but should you embrace a correct marketing plan. Nowadays, Advertising is just one of the most well-known mediums of marketing. Advertising can be placed on sites, online phone directories, magazines and papers, etc.. Find out more about the ideal mediums until you rush into. Occasionally fantastic prices get in the method of recognizing the ideal advertising car.
28. You are able to create a site of your own to efficiently market your photography company but something that has to be considered is never neglect to add a testimonial segment and assess the reaction of the folks going to the site. Enable them to make remarks.
29. People interested in putting together a photography company can start their career by turning into a photo journalist. Appealing and unconventional photos can be provided to papers, magazines, sites and also the photography business is flourishing to this extent that international media organizations will provide you with great money in exchange for infrequent and high quality photos.
30. There are several more jobs also linked to photography than that there was formerly and as a result of the diversity and versatility of digital photography, even more respect was connected to the profession.
Proceed and make yourself a hot drink and a have a long think about where you are likely to begin, in other words, in case you have not already begun.
This guide has been provided courtesy of Roy Barker. Roy has provided further detail about the aforementioned subject matter at starting a photography company and is devoted to training you on how to begin your own photography business. You might even acquire photography tips, help (mainly free) or just a Digital Photography.
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bradfordarchive · 5 years ago
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clicks my fingers to no humanly discernible rhythm as i strut bk onto the dash w chara number two!! (it’s me nai bk again bt this time wearing a stick on moustache). bradley’s pinterest is HERE n u kno the drill mre abt her under the cut n like this fr those Sweet Sweet plots!!
MARGARET QUALLEY / CIS-FEMALE — don’t look now, but is that bradley milligan i see? the 23 year old psychology student is in their junior year and she is a rochester alum. i hear they can be brave, resilient, destructive and ruthless, so maybe keep that in mind. i bet she will make a name for themselves living in off campus. ( nai. 23. gmt. she/her. )
aesthetics: singeing a hole in your fishnets with the cherry of a menthol, spitting a pistachio behind the bar just to hear it ping off the nozzle top bottles, lemon in a fresh cut, a war torn poppy standing alone in an empty field, poking bruises, stomping over flowerbeds when there’s a path right next to it, dangling over ledges just to feel your chest jolt, a snarling rottweiler that should be muzzled, limp feet poking out behind a door, ‘I PROMISE I DON’T BITE’ scrawled on a name tag, slapping a bald head in front of you at the cinema like it’s a bongo, not owning a single jacket that isn’t stolen, driving a stolen car in the wrong lane against the traffic, blowing coke in someone’s face after asking “hey, does this smell funny to you?”, hair more feral than a wolf cub and eyes smudgier than a coal mine.  
BACKGROUND:
father runs a gang n strip club in queens called ‘no angels’ tht fronts an affluent drug trade, primarily coke. his name is tony milligan n his gang is p infamous around there fr being jst like…. completely cutthroat n awful. they were nicknamed ‘tony’s rottweilers’ by locals bc he bsically has all of these trained dogs on leash at his command n they’re still a growing organisation tday
he’s pretty much the worst human being alive n bradley hs like….. a lot of issues with herself as a result of years of toxicity n abuse
in terms of more family bkground info her mum’s name was alyssa n she vanished when bradley was 12. jst like…. into thin air. nothing. no note. zilch. gan! n when bradley asked her dad abt it his response was essentially “guess she didn’t love us enough to stay”. as bradley’s got older tho n become (without intention) more involved in the business side of things, it’s become pretty clear there was far more to the story.
they had a horrible marriage n tony ws quite violent at the best of times, which didn’t help the fact tht alyssa ws struggling a lot w severe depression n rly just… not in the mindset to b dealing w anything else on top of tht, even where motherhood ws concerned. bradley p much… would look after her a lot n they’d both b scared of her dad n it was just a whole mess.
anyway im rambling bt basically tony (bradley’s dad) gt wind of alyssa sleeping w men tht worked fr him n he just… got rid. bradley’s kind of worked out over the yrs tht her mum didn’t jst leave on her own accord n tht something must hav happened to her bt she’s too scared of her dad to ever directly accuse him
when her mum went all of her dad’s cruelty pretty mch got channelled straight onto her. it ws diluted between two before bt as u can probably imagine her upbringing was jst…. a steep downhill decline frm tht point onwards
she learnt ways 2 deal w the incurring trauma bt they weren’t healthy ones at all! bsically jst. will do or take anything fr the distraction. chases a thrill like it’s the only way to remind her she’s alive. has absolutely no regard fr her own wellbeing n sometimes gets other ppl in trouble too bc she’s so insatiably reckless
she hd….2 separate stints of psychiatric hospitalisation n she never tlks abt it. like ever. acknowledging she’s been vulnerable is her worst nightmare n bc of the way her dad raised her she always thinks any sign of struggling within herself is weakness. truly does…. not kno how to properly emotion
CUT TO!!!! huntington beach. she’s currently living in a spacious loft above a rly busy bar tht i picture like. p close to campus so a lot of students prob frequent it?? she loves it bc she can sit on the window sill smoking n argue w ppl tht walk past drunk. jst randomly callin out like. nice chest hair Loser. i feel like she hasn’t even paid fr wifi she jst uses the bar’s free one n like. goes in there expecting free drinks all the time?? is jst like erm? i live here? let me drink? this is my house? aka she’s. a lot.
her dad’s opening up a new strip club (also called no angels bc he’s trying to lowkey make it like a chain) n he’s only allowed her to make the move bc she’s overseeing it kind of???? as well as a few guys tht worked fr him back in queens. one in particular called billy hs made the move n he’s a menace so. three cheers fr anarchy!
PERSONALITY:
the kind of sour cherry only certain people have a taste for
once drank a bottle of whiskey, insisted she could still do a cartwheel and accidentally kicked an old man’s front tooth out in the process. proceeded 2 collapse into a flower bed and laugh so much abt it that she cried
barely takes anything seriously 50% of the time and is angry the other 50%
if she was a coffee she’d be black with five grains of sugar that you couldn’t taste until the last sip
high functioning alcoholic. if u ever see her w a coffee cup u jst kno tht one sniff will confirm high alcohol percentage. honestly idk hw she does it her liver must b yellin
loyal to a point of fault. if she cares abt u and u murder a man in cold blood she’ll brawl anyone that says ur guilty
honestly wld probably fight a person over anything. sometimes she’ll jst be having a bad day n she’ll burst n take it out on whoever says the wrong thing. a minefield!
has the worst luck in romance…. ever. the majority of her past bfs hav been absolute beasts n as a result she kind of has the ‘romance is dead n love is a lie’ mentality
speakin of which i feel like she’s bi bt wldnt have dated a girl or anythin. like guys r probably…. her preference just bc historically theyv treated her worse n she hs a very self destructive personality like that. sexy!
dresses like courtney love, 2014 sky ferreira and a character from this is england had a baby. mostly wears stolen clothes from strangers and jackets that swamp her. hair is p much always a wild mess n she usually hd kind of smudgy/smoky makeup bcos apparently she’s allergic to combs and generally looking presentable… relatable content
she’s v sarcastic. sometimes blunt. kind of has a habit of…. assessing a person n she’s quite perceptive bc she’s been trained to b by the way she always has to monitor her dad’s expression fr the slightest emotion change. she’s quite confident n can p much mke a conversation out of whatever. sort of independent too like she hs a bunch of friends bt she doesn’t care abt going out places alone if she’s in a certain mood n jst wants…… to get into chaos. she’s probably kind of known around campus bt itd b a 50/50 balance between bein known as intimidating n bein known as that one girl tht always gets into anarchy
likes: fishnets, stealing cars, throwing watermelons off rooftops and whiskey
dislikes: amy schumer, honesty, yellow tulips and going home
PLOTS:
someone tht got a job at the new strip club her dad opened up in town?? either as a dancer or bartender or whtever. just a forewarning it’s probably gna b a pretty..... seedy and Not That Pleasant environment bc it’s like. a crime hotspot inevitably bc it’s a gang hangout so. ur chara wld truly be in fr a rollercoaster ride to say the least
she deals coke fr her dad’s gang bt it’s more like. a hobby than a steady source of income tht she Needs bc she just likes the thrill of the fact tht encounters in tht line of work can turn sour tbh. a Thrill Seeker! mayb she deals to ur muse??
anyone….. she’s brawled in the past like. she’s literally a menace i cnt express this enough. wil jst randomly throw a drink in someone’s face fr no reason bc she’s bored. she’s probably pissed off 1000 diff ppl in 1000 diff ways. the possibilities r endless n i jst think tht’s a sexy prospect!
fwbs perhaps??? exes??? (probably ws a tumultuous relationship wtever…. ur muse is like like bradley is. a handful)
mayb someone tht she met at an aa meeting when she hd to go fr a court mandated thing one time after bein arrested fr public indecency. i feel like there’s probably a rly expensive statue somewhere thts fancily Sculpted n she like. did a flying kick n kicked the dick of it off n gt arrested fr it
ppl she……. Goes Wild Goes Crazy w. truly jst the most self destructive person alive so anyone w a similar mindset wld b a hellish bt fun combination
on the contrary a gd influence cld b nice perhaps? like someone tht genuinely cares abt her n she jst doesn’t kno hw to compute it
um. honestly the world’s our oyster. hmu n we cn brainstorm if none of tht catches ur eye!
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gayasianminimalist · 5 years ago
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Doubts, Sentiments, and Romantic Feels
For some reason I kind of missed raving recently. I haven’t gone to anything big since July last year, so it’s been about 7 months now. I hope that with my new income source coming soon that I can tap back into the live music realm again. I don’t want to go to too many things, but I have friends that want to go to things in the next few months already haha. 
I’m starting work in a week, and it really hasn’t hit me yet. It’s kind of surreal since I’ve never had an actual job of any type. Am I going to do well? Will I be able to live up to the hype that I gave for myself during the interviews I had? Well I know that I want to work hard and learn well on the job, that’s for sure. I’m ready to make that move in life and progress towards my independence. Really shooting to move out of the house sometime next year, if not then the year after. But first things first is that I need to buy my own car. I’m kind of not sure what car to get right now at least, but I know that I want to get that car. Maybe I’ll save around $30,000 for that new car so I have some options. 
Speaking of savings in general, I’ve been doing a lot of research about money and finances in preparation of what to do with my money when I get it. It’s kind of a daunting topic that I really have no experience in. But I’m trying to learn as much as I can about it so that I can avoid mistakes and make some good decisions for the present and the future. I’m really looking forward to managing money, it’ll give me the freedom that I’ve wanted all of these years. To do everything I want without the guilt of having my parents give me money to do whatever it is that I want. The thoughts of guilt have invaded my mind for so many years, I mean mostly around when I started spending a lot more money. I’ve mentioned before how grateful I’ve been for my parents having the finances to support my sort of extra life that I want to live. But a part of me has learned to be sort of frugal since I was spending their money and not my own. I’m by no means the most frugal, but I can sort of confidently say that I’m more frugal than the average person my age. I try to take advantage of useful free stuff whenever I can. I limit the amount of unnecessary items I buy. Everything that I get has to be super functional and practical and long lasting so that I can use whatever the thing is many times over. 
I think when I was younger I was super materialistic, and that I wanted many things. But now I only want things after I’ve thought about a particular item for a long enough time where I know for sure I can have a higher quality life with said item if I bring it into my life. I think the only time that I get things that aren’t necessary are gifts from family or friends. Everything that I’ve gotten from friends though are really thoughtful, and I appreciate everything that I receive.
I’ve gone on a giant ass tangent oh my, I was originally going to keep blabbling on about how I miss raving. Once my first paycheck comes in I’m going to get some tix for some events for sure. Like I need to pay someone back for an event I’m going to next month, and one friend has asked me to go to another two events. So yeah I’ve got my events lined up. 
I guess I have some sort of an update in terms of my dating ish situation. So yeah I’ve been talking to one girl for about a month now, and I’ve seen her like 4 times? I have some sort of an inkling that she likes me, but I don’t exactly have any feelings for her at the moment. I’m not sure if I should make any moves if I’m not feeling a particular type of way. I like that I have someone to text everyday, but I’m not sure how to shift it into a more romantic direction. I got pizza with her, thrift shopped, went for boba (where she bought my boba), and then we watched a couple movies together at her place in her bed. I really don’t know what to expect moving forward. I talked to one of my close friends about this and he was saying I could just take things really slow. I think that’s a good idea, because I’m not sure what’s going to come out of this and what I really want. I’m really scared of making moves for some reason, like I just can’t get myself to do anything. Romantic stuff makes me squeemish still. I’m kind of still a kid in that sense. Or maybe I’m asexual but that’s not possible because I like being physical. 
I read this thing on a FB page called SQUAD+ and someone posted about the fact that they don’t really feel sparks with anyone anymore. The post kind of hit home for me, I haven’t had any infatuation since 4 years ago with the first girl that I liked. I haven’t had that initial spark with anyone that I met. It’s kind of sad to me, but I think that there is much more than meets the eye than I initially thought. Some people commented on the post that they don’t think that relationships driven by emotion are the best ones. Taking time to develop good lasting relationships is that way to go, especially if you’re older and mature. I think I need to take that advice for myself. Find someone that I can grow with for a lifetime, not something that has a lot of fire from the start and could potentially could be put out early on. But maybe I need something in between a spark and a more gradual build to a steady fire. I think something that I’m big on for a future relationship is for the other person to kind of have their shit together and not be all over the place. The girl I’m talking to is kind of a more together than most of the other girls I’ve talked to. Well there was one other girl that had her shit together but she wasn’t into me so that’s that. Maybe that was too together lol. But yeah I’m going to see where the romance takes me these next couple weeks, months, maybe years?
Anyways that’s been kind of my life update since Valentine’s Day, I have a job, maybe a girl soon, and excited for what’s to come the rest of this year. Oh yeah the democratic primaries gonna happen next month, SO Y’ALL VOTE IF YOU’RE IN THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY IN THE USA. IDK WHO I WANT TO VOTE FOR TBH.
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Clever Little Things — Part One — David Dobrik x Reader
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A/N: hey guys so this one’s based off an awesome ask! I’m writing my asks a little slower at this time (and taking sometime away from Datalie until inspo comes back) to ensure better quality. I’m also turning this one into a series. Lemme know if you have any ideas of where you want this story to go. Anywho, thanks for taking the time to read, love ya!!
Masterlist
Summary: You don’t like David, and he plans on changing that.
Anon Asked: Hey !! Love you're writing, nobody ever does my requests so hopefully u can break that pattern :-), can u do a david x reader where it's an enemies to lovers sort of thing, where he's really charming and smug to her and like a huge flirt and she kinda just rolls her eyes and tells him to fuck off (maybe it could be a series??) Thanks !!
——
David fucking Dobrik.
Fuck that guy.
Yeah, you said it. Repeatedly and sometimes out loud. You couldn’t give a fuck about YouTube’s resident golden boy. You have lived in California far too long to be impressed with young, ridiculously wealthy men and their expensive cars. David seemed like a guy who fell face first into a vat of luck and wore humbleness like a cloak, hiding who he was underneath.
You were bound to run into him around Hollywood, your job as a freelance editor had you working with a ton of people in the industry he dominated. You had once preferred working in TV and film, but when a girl named Gabbie reached out to you, getting your info from a colleague, you were yanked into the YouTube world. Gabbie loved your work and had given your name out to all her influencer friends. The calls came rolling in.
Hey, it was a paycheck. These viral sensations actually made bank, and you were getting a more steady source of income from them than you did at any other job you’d worked in the city of angels. It even led to a pretty long contract job at a decent media group. Where you had to attend events and mingle and really learn about the world you were working in. It was mostly good.
But David, he fucking annoyed you. Whether it was hanging all over Instagram models for clout, or holding up the entrance line at a club to take paparazzi around his car, laughing and playing it up to an extreme, he fucking irked you. You had made the mistake of following him on Snapchat, one of his stories accidentally rolling over from a friends; he had two bleach blondes screaming about merch and then the camera flips around to his smug face telling you to swipe up. Yeah. Fucking. Right.
In your mind there were the Paul’s, Ricegum and David Dobrik: the premier fuckboys of YouTube.
So, there is no way you’re actually going to call Jason Nash about becoming his steady editor. You tell Gabbie as much over coffee.
“But, it’s a job, like long term and well paying... and he asked me about editors I knew the last time I saw him. Plus, if you last for a while, you can put that shit on your resume. And he’s great, like the coolest, chillest dude ever,” she’s explaining, trying to win you over. She had told you all about his kids and ex wife, how stressed he was. And that he could pay big money because he was racking in the revenue from his relationship with Trisha Paytas. Still, working for one of the vlog squad basically meant working for David, and you weren’t interested in that at all.
“Yeah, no. I’m sure he is, but the vlog squad? C’mon. Why would I do that to myself when you noped the fuck outta that mess years ago,” you tell her, sipping on your latte.
“Because I’m not an editor, (Y/N). It’s not like you have to hang out with them. You just hang around Jason and edit his shit. It’s not that complicated,” Gabbie says, looking at you like you’re dumb. You roll your eyes at her.
“Maybe I don’t want to be associated with David Dobrik and his loyal servants when their party comes crashing to the ground. You know it’s coming. He’s the next Shane Dawson expose for sure,” you ramble, “Like, Dobrik is the next Jake Paul. At least that’s what I get from his Snapchat’s, does he do anything but try to sell his shitty hoodies? And prank people until they cry?”
“Yeah. He gives people cars all the time.”
“PR move!” You yell, a little too loudly for nine in the morning at a coffee shop. Gabbie jumps a little and brings her hand to her mouth, shushing you. Ignoring her, you continue, “Yeah, it’s sooo genuine, Gabs. ‘Hey guys, I sent my friend to the hospital last week for a poorly thought out, unfunny stunt. This week I’m buying my assistant a car! No motive, no PR team screaming at me from the sidelines. Nope, I’m just a super awesome, humble guy who appreciates the people who obediently follow me around like a puppy so I can make content that’ll have 16 year olds everywhere buying my shitty merch!’ Gimme a break.”
“Holy fuck, I know you’re a cynic, but you have gone full pessimist lately,” Gabbie laughs at your impression, shaking her head. “They aren’t bad people, (Y/N). David isn’t either, he’s just young and rich and a little dumb. And Jason is probably the most down to earth one of them. Just think about it.”
“Ugh, fine. Fine, just no more talk about it. How’s your book coming?”
You change the subject, firm that the phone number she programmed into your phone will never get any use.
——
Then Defy Media goes under and Clevver, the main source of your rent lately, is done. You are out a decent paying job and next months check, you are royally fucked. Staring at the number in your phone, bent over on your couch, your thumb hovers.
You need the job. You want work, being at home with nothing to do all day makes you stir crazy. But all your points listed out about this still stand.
Fuck it.
You type out a quick message to Jason about Gabbie and his need for an editor with a link to your reel. You press send before you can talk yourself out of it. Then, it’s a waiting game. You’re scouring the internet for job postings when you get a message in return.
Hey! I’m so glad you hit me up. I desperately need help and would love to have you as my editor. Your reel is great! Can you meet for coffee in like 2 hours? I’m behind already and we can talk logistics.
You’re shocked. He must be desperate if he’s hiring you sight unseen and already getting you to work. But it’s a saving grace and more than you could of wished for. You’ll get a paycheck sooner and not have to worry about eviction. You let him know that’s fine and arrange a place.
The meeting goes well, Jason is a cool dude who doesn’t seem as wound up as your usual content creators were. You agreed on a wage (like 35% higher than your last gig, fuck yeah) and got to understand Jason’s edit style and post dates.
What didn’t shock you about the job, but you were hoping you could circumvent, was that you would be working closely with Trisha and David, as Jason often traded footage with both of them. And unlike Jason, they both edited their own vlogs because they had either, fewer responsibilities in their lives (Trisha), or were anal about their edit and wanted to do them personally (David). Great, great, great.
A jobs, a job though. You’ve survived working with some shitty people in your time and honestly didn’t think you’d have any problem on your hands.
——
There are problems though.
Yeah... there are a couple.
——
The first is Trisha. Well, she wasn’t a huge problem, but an obstacle. She was super insecure (you knew this going in) and the first time she came over to Jason’s and you were chilling on the couch, finishing up a vlog, things got tense. She knew you were hired, but she hadn’t met you before. You’d introduced yourself and shook the woman’s hands, wearing your usual editor getup of jeans and a giant hoodie, no makeup, hair not really done up but presentable enough for the public and giant headphones, to tune out the world around you.
You think that helped you because Trisha made a comment about how you were at least not trying to look good for Jason. You laughed at that, and looked her straight in the eyes with meaning behind them, and maybe a little intimidating,
“You couldn’t pay me into retirement to sleep with Jason.”
She’s taken a back for a second and you both look over to the man. You say no offense softly as the man shrugs, but don’t apologize or try to take it back. Trisha just snorts and says she likes you, claws retracting and a calmness returning to the room. Jason looks like a bomb’s been defused and ever grateful for you.
Bullet dodged... hopefully.
——
The next problem is David...
He’s actually the rest of the problems you have with your new job.
See, Trisha got over her bullshit pretty quickly and began texting you once a week for specific footage with Jason. She would describe them well and stay on the phone while you found and verified the clip, and then you’d send them to her. No muss, no fuss. She was an editor’s literal dream.
But, David fucking Dobrik was a nightmare.
Constantly texting you about clips from things that weren’t recorded, but he’s “sure they were because Jason was holding his camera like it was recording”, or waking you up in the middle of night to make sure you weren’t using a certain song for a montage or outro because he was going to use it in the next week.
And that was besides the ridiculous amount of times David was reminding you not to post certain things that were gonna premiere on his channel first. Like, yes, it’s fine to tell you. If it makes David feel better that you’re hearing it from him and not Jason, FINE. But to text you every post day, over a dozen times? It was a fucking joke and has been going on through week four of your new job. And you’d had enough. You’d mentioned it to Jason, but he’d just shrugged it off as David being David.
Well, fuck David.
You’d never even met the man in person at this point in time, but he was living up to every one of your terrible expectations. That’s when the 14th text comes in, as you’re exporting Jason’s latest vlog and just leaning back to relax on the older mans couch. That’s also when you snap, hitting the call button on the text and calling the douchebag.
“Hello? (Y/N)? Why are you callin-,” he starts after a few seconds of waiting for it to connect.
“Hey David! Nice talking to you finally and not just reading your utterly demeaning and demanding text messages!” You start in, just letting loose all the irritation he’s caused you over the last month. “Super appreciate the literally DOZENS of messages you leave me on post day, not to mention in the middle of the god damn night the rest of the week. I’m glad you understand what an invalid I am and how the constant texts actually do help me! It’s absolutely not a slight to my four year education and years of experience in my profession. Or the fact that I do heed your words the FIRST time I hear them, because it’s my literal job. A job I have that actually doesn’t revolve around you. Crazy, I know!” Your voice is just dripping with sarcasm at this point. In your brief pause you can hear a soft, amused breath from his end of the call. It doesn’t stop you at all.
“Anyway, I just wanted to call and let you know how productive you’re making me, and thank you! I really don’t know how I would function in my chosen career without your undying, unrelenting, un-asked for guidance. Hope the vlog that just posted meets your standards! Leave a comment if it doesn’t. Just please, please don’t text me about it.”
And you’re slamming the end button before he can respond. You look up and Jason is standing in the entrance way to his living room, jaw dropped. And all he can say after lifting it off the ground is,
“I didn’t know he was texting you in the middle of the night! Yeah... fuck him.”
You’re glad this ends with you both laughing and not you being fired.
——
“Your editor’s got some mega fucking attitude, dude,” is the first thing David says to Jason, picking him up in the Tesla the next day. Jason just starts cackling at that.
“Yeah, whatever. Don’t text her in the middle of the night. Most people’s work schedule doesn’t extend to 3am, Dave. And I thought she had quite a few points. Like, she works for me. And she does in fact know how to skillfully edit my shitty vlogs,” Jason’s laughing this out and is glad to find David just as amused.
“I wasn’t expecting to get ripped a new asshole is all. I was in an Uber to some event and Natalie heard the whole thing,” David replied, kinda sheepishly.
“You’re just butt hurt that there’s someone in this world that doesn’t give a fuck who you are and is willing to talk shit to your face. And that now Natalie and I know someone put you in your place,” the older man retorts, pointing at him accusingly before going on, “I’m not reprimanding her for having enough of you. She’s doing great AND Trisha likes her. Fuck off dude. Just text her less.”
“What do you mean she doesn’t give a fuck who I am?” Of course this is the part of what Jason was saying that David focuses on.
Shaking his head, he explains, “Well, she knows who you are and is absolutely comfortable enough to basically call you a dick within the first month of being my editor. Also, Gabbie told me the first time we talked about her that (Y/N) hates working for the bigger creators on the platform, and that she thinks they’re all materialistic and out of touch assholes. So, you know, I thought she would be a perfect fit for me. I’m basically nobody. But you? There’s no love lost there from the beginning, but she’s obviously professional enough to keep from snapping on your ass for like a month. I don’t know, Dave. What? You want me to force her to care who you are?”
“No! That’s not what I meant. I guess I just figured-“
“Sorry, dude. Not everyone loves our golden boy. But she’s not a mean person. She’s never even mentioned it. This is what Gabs told me forever ago. Either way, she doesn’t have to be blown over by you to be my editor. Right?”
“No, yeah, right. I guess I didn’t think I was bothering her. I’d always hit you up the same amount.”
“Yeah, but we’re friends. She works for me. It’s different,” Jason’s explaining as David nods along, eyes on the road, thinking.
(Y/N) doesn’t like him? Everyone likes him! YouTube world or not, David was charming as shit. It perplexed him, stirring uneasiness in his chest. This was just going to be a challenge in his eyes now.
She doesn’t like him? That’s fine. She will though.
David guar-an-fucking-tees it.
——
David Dobrik sends you an apology Edible Arrangement. The good kind, all chocolate covered fruit.
There’s a card attached that says,
Jason’s last vlog def met my standards, so you obvy don’t need my help. I’ll stop being such a dick.
(See? I didn’t text you.)
-D
It makes you laugh fucking hard.
You find it a little endearing but also, yeah, you deserve an unhealthy Edible Arrangement. He probably has a contact at the fruit company for appeasing all the people he steps on to run his empire. You’re not special, but the thought is at least there. Whatever. He had stopped bombarding you with texts and had been much more polite in general, so you were more than fine with the whole situation now.
You had hoped this was the end of it.
——
It wasn’t.
——
97 notes · View notes
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peaches-of-1 · 6 years ago
Text
RENT AU
This is queued for Dec 24th 9PM EST. You’re welcome. The cast is as follows.
Mark: Hui
Roger: E’Dawn
Mimi: Hyuna
Tom Collins: Namjoon
Angel: Key*
Joanne: Maman
Maureen: Hwasa
Benny: CubeEnt- Park Choongmin
A/N: In the show, the character Angel is referenced to with mostly female pronouns. To keep with the pronouns of both Angel and Key I will use he/him as well as she/her to reference the part.
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The full moon was high in the sky. It had been so cold this winter that the power had been going out often from being frozen and all sorts of water damage. It was hell especially for Hui and E’Dawn who technically weren’t even supposed to be living where they were living. Outside, a small tent city had sprung up in the lot next to the old publishing factory. It was freezing even with the tin trash can filled with found logs and discarded planks or their “illegal wood burning stove” as Dawnie liked to call it. Things were fine, their good friend Choongmin had told them it was fine to live there without rent since they were so close. Then again, E’Dawn was his stage name. He hadn’t been using it a lot recently because he wasn’t really on stage that often.
Hui had gotten into video making and used his phone as well as an old video camera to capture the footage he needed. He turned the camera to himself.
“Um, December 24th, 9pm. Korean Standard Time, from here on in, I shoot without a script. See if anything comes of it instead of my old shit.”
Since all his scripted stuff hadn’t gone over well with several dozen failed videos that were taking down due to copyright infringement when everything was from his own mind. It just so happened to be eerily similar to some script a kid wrote when they were in elementary school. Hui had never read it, but whatever. He turned the camera to his roomie and best friend E’Dawn who commonly went by Hyojong.
“First shot, Hyojong, tuning the Fender guitar he hasn’t played in a year.”
“It won’t tune” The blonde and brown rooted babe said.
In return, Hui teased, “So we hear. He’s just coming back after half a year of withdrawal.”
“You talking to me?” He began to look up with his death stare.
His silver haired friend turned his phone to a different direction, “Not at all…” He turned it back to his friend, trying to get a close up. “Are you ready?” He asked to Hyojong who didn’t answer because he knew his friend was like this.
He held the focus steady and got a good shot of his downturned head, “Tell the folks at home what you’re doing, Hyojong.”
“I’m writing one great song--”
The phone rang. The old camera was recording from its table without anyone’s knowledge, but Hui paused his phone. “SPEAK” it was the sound of their answering machine. Someone was calling? Who the heck could it be?
It was Hui’s mother. She wanted to tell her son how much she loved them. From the background, he heard screams and giggles and someone else call her mom. She then said that his step sister and her kids sent their love. His mother then went on to remind him not to leave the hot plate she sent him on whenever they left the house. Then came the final blow.
“Oh, and Hwitaek, we’re sorry to hear that Hwasa dumped you. I say c’est la vie, so let her be a lesbian! There are plenty of other fish in the sea. Love you, mom~!”
Hyojong pat his buddy on the back at the mention of the past relationship. Hui rolled his eyes and waited for his mom to hang up before starting where he left off. As soon as the blonde began to speak once more, the phone rang again.
“SPEAK!”
A lovely deep voice came from the receiver, “Chestnuts roasting~”
Excitedly, Hui rushed the phone, “Namjoon!
“I’m downstairs!” The man in a snow white beanie said to whoever was listening.
He picked it up, “Hey!”
“E’Dawn-hyung picked up the phone?”
“Nah, it’s me.”
Namjoon nodded, “Throw me the key.”
His older friend smiled at the thought of seeing his friend again and threw the key out the window knowing his friend would catch it, “A wild night is now preordained.”
Hyojong continued trying to tune his guitar in the background. Namjoon smiled but soon his face turned to fear as he saw some of the neighborhood thugs start to approach him.
“I may be detained.” He hung up quickly.
“What does that mean, detained?” The phone rang again, and Hui put the phone to where both him and his roomie could hear. Thinking it was their friend again he asked, “What’d you mean, detained?”
Instead a snarky, “Ho ho ho.” came through the phone.
“Choongmin!” They were excited until Hui put the phone to his chest and then they revealed the truth by saying. “Shit!”
They didn’t like Choongmin, or Minnie as they called him despite the man being a few years older than the both of them.
“Dudes, I’m on my way!” He sounded like he was in his car...a sparkling white Range Rover nonetheless. He had taken a vacation recently.
“Great!” They looked each other in the eyes. “Fuck.”
“I need the rent.” Minnie switched his phone to the other side.
They were confused and asked what rent he could possibly be talking about. He said it was the past year’s rent which he “let slide.” Hui called him out on his bullshit saying that it wasn’t that he let it slide, he said that they didn’t have to. Hyojong reminded him it was when he bought the building. Hui reminded him that they were roommates even though he now treated the two of them like dirt.
“Remember, you lived here?” E’Dawn asked.
Choongmin chuckled, “How could I forget? You, me, Dawnie, and Hwasa.” Then he asked about the soulful diva.
Hui mentioned her show tonight and Minnie said he already knew. He asked if the glasses wearing boy was still her so called production manager. He was...until two days ago. When asked if they were still together, it was revealed that they had been broken up for over a month now. Hyojong pulled the phone over to say that Hwasa was now in love with someone else. Their hyung was surprised to hear that she was already dating someone new and asked the man’s name.
It wasn’t a man’s name per say, it was Maman. A woman.
Another chuckle, “Rent, my friends, is due, or I’ll have to evict you. See you soon.” He said as his black haired lover showed up in the bedroom of her husband in blue lingerie. He hung up.
Hyojung began to play again as his friend hung up. Hui began recording once more. Suddenly the Fender stopped working. Of course. The power blows just as he’s getting to record again. It’s too dark right now, and people from the whole block would be looking for some place to stay or something to steal for a bit of cash. Attention turned from making the next groundbreaking documentary to securing what few important things they had before they were taken.
“How do you document real life when real life’s getting more like fiction each day?” the silver haired man asked. “Headlines, breadlines, and now this deadline. ‘Eviction or pay’?”
E’Dawn decided to jump in and complain about how he no longer had any inspiration for his writing, “How can you write a song when the notes sound wrong though they once sounded right and rare? When the notes are sour where is the power you once had to ignite the air?”
They were hungry and frozen and this was the life they had chosen. Some life, huh? But they had no jobs. No source of income. How were they supposed to pay a whole year of rent to their backstabbing buddy? Hui decided to light candles. Hyojong decided to look something that could be put into their “woodburning stove” when there was no wood in sight. Not much was in sight, but they knew their apartment inside and out. There had to be something. A chill ran down the songwriter’s spine.
“How can you generate heat when you can’t feel your feet and they’re turning blue?”
Hyojong found his old flyers, “You light up a mean blaze with posters!”
“And screenplays!” Hui added his own failed works to the trash bin which his friend flicked a match into.
The two boys couldn’t even afford a lighter. How were they supposed to afford that rent?
Maman was at the lot where her girlfriend would be performing trying to figure out how to get the microphone to work. Especially the reverb at a certain volume. It shocked her and she jumped back. Out of frustration, the light brown haired woman stood up and called her lovely...though sometimes unfaithful girlfriend Hwasa.
“Hey, darling. Did you eat?”
She instantly tried to change the subject. It was obvious that she hadn’t.
“But, darling, you haven’t eaten all day.”
Hwasa was worried about puking on stage and that was why she didn’t dare eat anything before her performance.
“You won’t throw up~ you won’t throw up!”
She sighed and said that she’d get a some ramyun or something. However, she did then ask how things were doing with the reverb.
Her girlfriend bit her lip nervously, “The digital delay didn’t blow up exactly~ There may have been one teensy, tiny, spark.”
“I’ll just call Hui then. He’s really good with this stuff.”
If there was one things among many other things Maman couldn’t stand was how that every time something digital or technical didn’t work, she’d want to call her ex. He was an ex for a reason. She was Hwasa’s significant other now, not that scarf wearing loser! Though they had never met, Maman’s lovely girlfriend always talked about the scarf she got him before they broke up. Never saying why they ended things in the first place. She had her ideas, though.
“You’re not calling Hui!”
~~~~
With only is coat sleeve left on his right arm, Namjoon wondered how people could survive in a world like this when every day was lived through random chance. Good or bad. Today was his bad luck of the draw since he had been beaten up and left in the cold once the thugs had taken his only coat. He already didn’t own much, and now this? Joon tried to get somewhere for help, but who would even help someone like him?
“Welcome back to town!” was how things should’ve gone. His head spun. “I should lie down. Everything’s brown and uh-oh. I feel sick!” He turned to puke on the nearest surface which happened to be a gutter.
“Where is he?” Hui asked as he threw another script page into the flames, wondering where his friend had gone after the key had been thrown down.
Namjoon was real dizzy and needed to rest. He couldn’t get help if he were dead. Maybe things would be better that way. No, no. He had to kept moving no matter how much his injuries hurt everytime he struggled to take a breath.
~~~~
Dawnie got the last of his flyers and posters from the wall wanting the fire to last as long as possible even though it probably wouldn’t even last the next hour. There was no way they could do anything to pay the rent they supposedly owed to their now holier than thou ex roommate.
On the street, Key hugged Hyuna tightly even kissing her cheek and giving her some of the cash he had just gotten from a job. He was going to his regular spot by the huge Christmas tree in the park to play on his bucket for cash. It was like a drum for him and sometimes even better offers came by. As soon as he left, Hyuna ran into her ex Choongmin and instead of actually talking to him, she darted in the other direction. She didn’t want anything to do with him anymore.
He was on the phone with his wife anyways, looking for his car now that he was done playing with one of his many mistresses. He wasn’t sure if that was his ex Hyuna or if his eyes were playing tricks on him.
“Allison, baby, oh you sound sad.” But he ignored her quiet sobs and continued complaining about his own problems. “I can’t believe those two after everything I’ve done. Ever since our wedding, I’m dirt. They’ll see. I can help them all out in the long run.”
~~~~
Hui recorded the flames as more paper was thrown into it. Maman said that she wasn’t a theatre person and would never be a theatre person like her ex had been. That’s just how things were and if she couldn’t except it then--
Instead of listening to her most precious toy gripe about not being what she needed her to be, Hwasa called up Hui to sweetly ask if he’d help her set up her microphone for the show later tonight. Even though he said no the first time, he quickly said yes after she called him his favorite nickname.
“Ok, alright, I’ll go!” He said and hung up. Then Hui started looking for his coat.
There was just so much wrong with the world right now. Their personal situations didn’t help either. They were broke. Nothing they had tried to do prior even worked. Why were they even here? The stress was overwhelming when the raging, shifting winds of change kept ripping away at the fabric that was life.
“What do we do to combat...this?”
“Draw a line in the sand and then make a stand.” Minnie’s voice rang in their heads.
“Use your camera to spar.” Hyojung suggested.
Hui loved that camera too much, so he said, “Use your guitar.”
It felt like the world was screaming at them, “When they act tough, you call their bluff!”
They then decided they weren’t gonna pay that damn rent. They didn’t owe him a damn thing after the way he’d been treating them. They didn’t owe anyone but themselves and there was nothing to owe themselves as far as they saw. Not last year’s rent, not this year’s rent, and sure as hell not last year’s rent. Hell, everything was rent.
On the street once more, a homeless man was singing to himself, “Christmas bells are ringing. Christmas bells are ringing…” He looked around and scoffed. “Not here.” And held out his hand to a passerby who might have some change to spare.
He ignored the achy Namjoon holding his stomach and stifling his moans of agony. In his fuzzy brain, he knew he was trying to get to somewhere familiar after being dragged away and running but not escaping. He just couldn’t remember where exactly. Key was beating his bucket drum though he hadn’t gotten much money tonight. The holiday season was about giving, but not many people thought it applied to them.
It sounded like someone was in pain, so he stopped. Silence except for a few sirens in the distance. Then Key began to play again and saw him...an injured man with a torn beanie holding his stomach or his arm. He didn’t look so good. Then again, no one on these streets rarely did.
Key judged the situation and decided to ask, “Are you ok, honey?”
“I’m afraid so.” He joked weakly.
“They get any money?” He had probably been mugged.
Namjoon scoffed, “Had none to get. But they purloined my coat.” He held up the only remaining piece of it and screamed in the general direction of his attackers. “Well they missed a sleeve!”
Key jumped down from where he was playing with his bucket to get a closer look at the attractive stranger, handing him a rag to dab at his wounds. Namjoon thanked him.
“Hell, it’s Christmas Eve!” He sat down on his bucket while Joon struggled to tie the rag around his injury. “I’m Angel.” Key said, giving his stage name in case he turned out to be wrong about this guy.
“Angel~” Namjoon repeated.
When he looked at the stranger, his eyes grew. Angel was so god damn beautiful. Namjoon had never seen a man so attractive. He looked at him again and smiled.
“Indeed.” He licked his lips and lowered his glasses. “An angel of the first degree. Friends call me Joon, Namjoon.”
The lights of the tree came on since it was now dark enough for them to be seen in their full beauty. It was as if a halo of light surrounded the two men. Angel. Angels were blessing this very meeting between Key and Namjoon. The two looked at the Christmas lights in sync and smiled at the splendor.
Namjoon spoke up, “Nice tree.”
Key smiled and launched into his plan since Namjoon seemed like a good guy, and he obviously needed help.
“Let’s get a Band-Aid for your knee. I’ll change. I’ve got a life support meeting at 9:30.” Catching himself he explained. “Yes this body provides a comfortable home for the Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome.”
“As does mine.” Joon admitted.
He was surprised, “We’ll get along fine. Get you a coat, have a bit, make a night.” The chipper man grabbed Namjoon’s and took him along to help with the healing process, maybe get some meds. “I’m flush.”
The younger man was happy to go along with it, but then he remembered he was supposed to meet with Hui and E’Dawn, “My friends are waiting…” He tried to say.
Instead, Key looked at him, “You’re cute when you blush. The more the merry, ho ho ho~” and booped his squat nose. “And I do not take no.”
He continued to pull along a limping Namjoon. Despite the pain he felt all over his body, the injured man smiled at the hope of being treated so well by a complete stranger. The fact that this stranger was so very handsome didn’t add to the pain, either. He’d get to his friends sooner or later.
Hyojong moved an empty bucket under the hole in the ceiling and when he turned around, he saw Hui with his warmest and least torn up jacket in his hands.
“Where are you going?” He asked.
To which Hui replied, “Hwasa calls.”
The musician scoffed, “You’re such a sucker.”
“I don’t suppose you’d like to see her show at the lot tonight or come to dinner? “ He held out his friend’s leather jacket.
“Zoom in on my empty wallet.” Hyojong made the movement with his hand and picked up his guitar once more.
“Touche.” The he reminded his friend, “Take your AZT.”
Close on Hyojong, his girlfriend Jieun left a note saying “We’ve got AIDS” before slitting her wrists in the bathroom. He hadn’t been the same since then. Still, he did as told and took the pills that held off his illness for another day.
As he set the leather jacket on the table, Hui said, “Check up on you later. If you change your mind...you have to get out of the house.”
The blonde turned around without replying and began tuning his guitar once more, black painted fingernails picking at the strings. His friend sighed and left the house, sliding the door open and letting it close with a thud that resonated deeply within Hyojong.
“I’m writing one great song before I…” He couldn’t help playing the familiar tune his fingers went to whenever he thought of her. Whenever he tried to play anything else, it just didn’t sound good. He growled in frustration and put his guitar down.
What did he want?
One song. Glory. One song before I go. Glory. One song to leave behind. He wanted to find one song, one last refrain. Glory from the pretty boy front man who wasted opportunity.
He remembered one song that had the world at his feet and caused glory in the eyes of a young girl. A young girl. Everyone was chanting his name, “E’Dawn! E’Dawn! E’Dawn!” but that wasn’t how things were anymore. Now he had to find glory beyond the cheap colored lights one song before the sun sets.
Glory on another empty life.
“Time flies.” He said to himself. “Time dies! Glory!”
One blaze of glory. One blaze of glory. Glory!
“Find glory the song that reigns true. Truth like a blazing fire.” He hovered his fingers above the illegal woodburning stove. “An eternal flame. Find one song...A song about love.”
Glory from the soul of a young man. A young man. He had to find the one song before the virus takes hold. Glory like a sunset. One song to redeem this empty life he had made.
Still, he had it in his head that time flies and then there would be no need to endure anymore. That time dies since time didn’t matter without her.
A knock on the door broke Hyojong out of his memories. It was probably Hui having left something behind.
As he opened the door, the man asked, “What’d you forget?”
Hyojong wasn’t expecting to see a young girl with fire for hair and bright red lips. She had on a white crop top and ripped jeans. There was a army green shawl or something draped on her shoulders as well. He had to blink.
“Got a light?” She asked.
He let her in and looked for his box of matches, “I know you. You’re shiving.”
To which she replied, “It's nothing, they turned off my heat and I'm just a little weak on my feet. Would you light my candle?” She held it out to him and then raised an eyebrow. “What are you staring at?”
“Nothing, uh your hair in the moonlight?” He tried to play it off and struck a match to light the white candle she held. “You look familiar.”
She got a bit wobbly while walking to the door, and so he reached out to catch her, letting their eyes lock for just a moment. “Can you make it?”
The girl nodded and sashayed over to the window, “Just haven't eaten much today at least the room stopped spinning, anyway. What?” She caught his gaze once more.
Hyojong quickly looked away, “Nothing...your smile reminded me of--”
“I always remind people of…” The red head rolled her eyes. “Who is she?”
“She died, her name was Jieun.”
Not wanting to talk about it, the girl blew out the candle and held it out to the blonde stranger, “It's out again. Sorry about your friend. Would you light my candle?”
And so he did, this time the light flickered right between their faces making her eyes glow even more than before in their innocent yet mischievously charming way. He wanted to say something but not much came to mind as the mutual gazing continued.
“Well…”
“Yeah?” She tilted her head before pulling one of her hands back. “Ow!”
Getting nervous, Hyojong said, “Oh, the wax, it's--”
“Dripping!” The girl started to slide her legs up the middle of his, slowly as he said, “I like it between my…”
He pulled away, blushing, “Fingers, I figured..Oh, well, goodnight.”
Hyojong realized he had been holding his breath the entire time and finally allowed himself to exhale once the door was closed. However, the door closing had made the light go out once more, and so she knocked on the door.
“It blew out again?” He chuckled, slightly frowning when she came in without even glancing at him.
“No, I think that I dropped my stash.” She searched the ground with her eyes.
So Hyojong let her look as he leaned against the table, trying to recall why he recognized her, “I know I've seen you out and about...When I used to go out.” He pointed. “Your candle's out.”
She sighed at her candlestick and while retracing her steps, “I'm illin', I had it when I walked in the door. It was pure. Is it on the floor?”
The woman got on the ground using her hands and knees to look under the table, and the way her curves filled out the tight jeans she was wearing…
“The floor?” Hyojong repeated as he couldn’t even try to remove his eyes from her form.
She smirked and chuckled, “They say that I have the best ass below 14th Street, is it true?” She said with a little hip wiggle.
“What?”
“You're staring again.” She beamed with another eyebrow raise.
He began to blush and his eyes frantically looked not at her, “Oh no, I mean you do, have a nice--I mean.You look familiar.” Hyojong tried to change the subject back to their previous conversation.
“Like your dead girlfriend?”
“Only when you smile, but I'm sure I've seen you somewhere else.”
That’s when the redhead nodded, “Do you go to the Cat Scratch Club? That's where I work, I dance. Help me look!”
“Yes!” He said, smirking at the memory, “They used to tie you up.”
“It's a living.” She shrugged.
“I didn't recognize you without the handcuffs.” He got in front of her eye line and held his wrists together above his head, letting himself smile a bit.
The strange girl smiled too for a bit and then continued to look, now standing, “We could light the candle. Oh, won't you light the candle?”
Another match was struck to light the used wick, but still Hyojong had to say something knowing another reason why she felt so familiar, “Why don't you forget that stuff? You look like you're sixteen.” “Add ten, still I'm old for my age. I'm just born to be bad!” She did a little dance as she went to another area of the room to see if she could find what she needed.
Hyojong folded his arms, “I once was born to be bad. I used to shiver like that.
She shooed away his concern, “I have no heat, I told you--”
“I used to sweat--”
“I got a cold.”
Not convinced, “Uh huh, I used to be a junkie.”
“But now and then I like to…”
“Uh huh”
“Feel good.”
Seeing the small packet on the floor, Hyojong picked it up, “Oh, here it…”
She whipped her head around, “What's that?”
“It's uh candy bar wrapper.” He hid it in his back pocket.
Playing coy, the woman approached him, “We could light the candle…” which he playfully blew out. “Oh, what'd you do with my candle?”
She began to chase him, lunging for his pocket, but Hyojong moved out of the way before she could catch him.
“That was my last match.” He said, leaning against the metal table.
“Our eyes'll adjust. Thank God for the moon” She did the same.
“Maybe it's not the moon at all. I hear Spike Lee's shooting down the street.”
She pouted and scooted her hand towards his, “Bah humbug, bah humbug~”
“Cold hands…” but he didn’t pull away.
“Yours too.” She tucked a fiery strand behind her ear and turned his palm upwards, “Big, like my father's.” Then she twirled, letting her shawl flutter around her. “Do you wanna dance?”
“With you?”
“No, with abeoji.” She teased.
“I’m Hyojong-ie.”
Her leaning forward made him lean back and he didn’t notice where her hands were going, “And the name of your noona is...Hyuna~”
She pulled her hand back revealing the small back of drugs was back in her possession and left the room before he could get it back. She giggled and winked at him before she dashed down the steps. He sighed, letting her go.
Yeah. It was better to just let her go.
Somewhere a phone waited unanswered and so the callers got the answering machine instead which rambled, “Hi you’ve reached Hwasa and Maman, leave a message. Don’t forget OVER THE MOON, my performance protesting the eviction of the homeless and artist from the 11th street lot tonight. The lot between A and B. Party at Life Cafe to follow!”
It was Maman’s parents.
“Well, Maman, we’re off. I tried you at the office and they said you were ‘stage managing’ or something.”
His wife searched her purse in the background, but her voice could still be heard on the recording, “Remind her that those unwed mothers in Harlem need her legal help too.”
He nodded, “Call Daisy for our itinerary or Alfred at Pound Ridge or Eileen at the state department in a pinch. We'll be at the spa for new year's unless the senator changes his mind.”
“The hearings.”
“Oh yes, Kitten. Eomma's confirmation hearing begins on the tenth. We'll need you--alone--by the sixth.”
She scolded her husband for adding such unnecessary info, “Yeobo!”
He cracked a smile, “You hear that? It's three weeks away and she's already nervous.”
“I am not!”
“For Eomma's sake, Kitten no Doc Martens this time and wear a dress. Oh, and Kitten, have a merry…”
“And a bra!!” Since she didn’t tend to wear one as she favored a more butch fashion style personally.
It turned out that Hui did forget something (his charger) and ended up returning to his apartment to get it. However, when there was a knock on the door, he forgot what he was meant to do since only one man could knock that way.
It was Namjoon, finally!
Hui even joked as he set up the camera for a good angle, “Enter, Kim Namjoon: computer genius, teacher, vagabond anarchist who ran naked through the Parthanon.”
The beanie wearing genius tossed groceries to the nearest person who tossed it to the next who tossed it in the makeshift kitchen. Bustelo, some kimchi, banana by the bunch. A box of Captain Crunch will taste so good!
“And firewood!” Namjoon held up a thick ass log.
Hui was glad to see his friend again, “Look, it's Santa Claus!”
He paused and nudged E’Dawn, “Hold your applause.”
“Oh, hi.” The blonde replied.
“Tsk ‘Oh, hi’ after seven months?”
He chuckled, “Sorry.”
Namjoon grabbed the unmistakable bottle out of his bag, “This boy could use some Jinro.”
The two cheery boys wrapped their arms around Hyojong and sang, “Oh holy night!”
E’Dawn moved away from them, “You struck gold at MIT?”
He shook his head, “They expelled me for my theory of Actual Reality which I'll soon impart to the couch potatoes at New York University.” then be pat his mopey friend on the back. “Still haven't left the house?”
“I was waiting for you, don't you know?” He replied.
“Well, tonight's the night! Come to the Life Cafe after Maureen's show!” He responded happily.
“No flow.” Meaning Hyojong was broke.
Namjoon then went to the door and put his hand on the knob, “Gentlemen, our benefactor on this Christmas Eve whose integrity is only matched by talent, I believe. A new member of the Alphabet City avant-garde Kim Kibum, jagi~” He opened the door.
The two other men looked at each other since it had been forever since he used that term for anyone. What was even more unexpected was to see a firm but slim body in a bright red Christmas dress with white fur trim, zebra print leggings, and Mary Janes. Her hair was in two curled ponytails with white pom-poms on the bands.
She(?) twirled in and it was as if a harp was playing as she did so. Then she displayed two thick piles of cash, one to each of the boys.
“Today 4 U. Tomorrow for me.” Her(?) glittering red lips formed.
The men grabbed it and then stared at her in awe. “Today 4 U. Tomorrow for me.”
Namjoon added, “And you should hear her beat.”
“You earned this on the street?” Hui thought Namjoon had fallen for a prostitute with two drum sticks tucked in her zebra printed belt.
She shook her head, “It was my lucky day today on Avenue A when a lady in a limousine drove my way. She said: ‘Darling be a dear. Haven’t slept in a year. I need your help to make my neighbor's yappy dog disappear.’”  This Akita, Evita, just won't shut up. He criss-crossed over to the bucket that all the groceries had been carried in and began to bang rhythmically on it. “I believe if you play nonstop that pup will breathe its very last high strung breath. I'm certain that cur will bark itself to death."
Then she repeated her cute little phrase, “Today 4 U. Tomorrow for me. Today 4 U. Tomorrow for me.” and then continued her story. “We agreed on a fee A $1000 guarantee tax free, and a bonus if I trim her tree. Now who could foretell that it would go so well, but sure as I am here that dog is now in doggy hell.”
She climbed up on the latter near the door, “After an hour, Evita in all her glory--On the window ledge of that 23rd story.” She used her drum sticks to count upwards. “Like Thelma and Louise did when they got the blues, wwan dove into the courtyard of the Gracie Mews.”
“Today 4 U. Tomorrow for me.” The girl leaped off in heels to be closer to the boys who were beating out a rhythm on their own random pieces of furniture. “Today 4 U. Tomorrow for me.”
The beautiful girl broke into a drum solo on the table and the walls and even the chairs, sounding very good and skilled, not even breaking a sweat or messing up as she moved from surface from surface frolicking and bringing up the mood. Even twirling and jumping on the table without missing a beat.
“Back on the street where I met my sweet,” He caressed Namjoon’s hat and moved down to his face to grab his chin. “Where he was moaning and groaning on the cold concrete. The nurse took him home for some Madecassol, and I dressed his wounds and got him back on his feet! Sing it!”
The other joined in, feeling amused at themselves for quite enjoying this tale of their friend’s new lover about killing a dog.
“Today 4 U. Tomorrow 4 me. Today 4 U. Tomorrow 4 me. I said Today 4 U. Tomorrow 4 me.”
Then she sat on a spinning office chair and motioned for one of them to give her a spin, which Hyojong ended up doing.
“Today 4 U. Tomorroooooow 4 me!” She landed with her black heels firmly on the ground and struck a pose.
Then Key hugged Namjoon and the boys laughed having a grand old time until a familiar voice sang out, “Joy to the world…” before looking out the window and yelling. “Hey you bum! Yeah, you, move over! Get your ass off that Range Rover!”
Everyone rolled their eyes at Park Choongmin who took off his glasses and tucked them in his pocket.
Hui spoke up, “That attitude toward the homeless is just what Hwasa is protesting tonight.” He turned his camera on himself. “Close up: Park Choongmin the third. Our ex-roommate who married Alison Grey, of the Westport Greys. Then bought the building and the lot next door from his father-in-law, in hopes of starting a cyber-studio.”
“Hwasa is protesting losing her performance space not my attitude.” He posed and grinned once he saw the camera on him. Namjoon covered the lense, not wanting anything positive about him to be recorded.
E’Dawn spoke, “What happened to Choog-ie? What happened to his heart and the ideals he once pursued?”
“Any owner of that lot next door has a right to do with it as he pleases.” He shot back.
To which Namjoon replied by raising the soju bottle, “Happy birthday, Jesus!” While trying to remind the greedy man of his conscience.
“The rent.” He held out his hand.
“You're wasting your time.” Hui said.
“We're broke.” Hyojong added.
“And you broke your word. This is absurd!”
Choogmin tried to sweet talk them, “There is one way you won't have to pay~”
“I knew it!” The blonde scoffed.
Looking out the side window, the businessman let his imagination run wild, “Next door, the home of Cyberarts, you see and now that the block is re-zoned, our dream can become a reality! You'll see boys. You'll see boys~!” He saw it wasn’t working, so he tried explaining his vision a different way.
“A state of the art, digital, virtual interactive studio. I'll forego your rent and on paper guarantee that you can stay here for free...if you do me one small favor.”
Hui asked with a straight face, “What?”
“Convince Maureen to cancel her protest.” He batted his reptilian eyes.
“Why not just get an injunction or call the cops?”
The snake replied, “I did, and they're on stand by. But my investors would rather I handle this quietly.”
Hyojong scoffed, “You can't quietly wipe out an entire tent city then watch It's a Wonderful Life on TV!”
“You want to produce films and write songs?” He spoke to their passions. “You need somewhere to do it! It's what we used to dream about. Think twice before you pooh-pooh it. You'll see boys. You'll see boys…?” He lifted Key’s skirt to see if the audience was actually all men.
Rude and uncalled for, and Namjoon put Key behind him and glared at Park Choongmin who backed up and sat on the table.
His hands arched in the sky, “You'll see the beauty of a studio that lets us do our work and get paid. With condos on the top. Whose rent keeps open our shop. Just stop the protest and you'll have it made. You'll see…” He put his sunglasses back on. “Or you'll pack.”
He escaped before he could get any more backlash.
Key scoffed, “That boy could use some prozac.”
“Or heavy drugs.” E’Dawn suggested.
“Or group hugs.” Hui said, getting confused and amused stares in return. “Which reminds me…” Namjoon said, scoffing. “We have a detour to make tonight. Anyone who wants to can come along.” He said pointedly to Hyojong.
Key replied, “Life support's a group for people coping with life. You don't have to stay too long.”
Hui threw his jacket back on, “First I've got a protest to save.”
“Roger?” She asked.
He shook his head, “I'm not much company you'll find.”
“Behave!” Hui lightly scolded his pessimism.
“He'll catch up later. He's just go other things on his mind.” Key said. “You'll see, boys!”
Hui and Namjoon chuckled but agreed at this turn around of phrase, “We'll see, boys.”
Hyojong scoffed, “Let it be, boys!”
Namjoon smiled at Key, “I like boys.”
And Key smiled back, “Boys like me.”
Silently they just decided to go along their lives while they waited for Hyojong to come around sooner or later. They’d see.
~~~~
So, now we follow Hui as he went to go help Hwasa fix her microphone or something or other as he did when they were dating. Even when they weren’t dating, until she fired him as her production manager. Anyways, Hui would always be there for Hwasa one way or another since he still had a soft spot for her.
Using his phone, he filmed himself, “And so into the abyss, the lot where a small stage is partially set up.”
“Line in…” a voice mumbled from inside. “I went to Harvard for this?”
“Close on Hui’s nosedive.” He walked inside and took a moment to pause.
“Line out…?”
The man asked himself, “Will he get out of here alive?”
Then the honey blonde woman gawked as she saw the only man that would show up here, “Hui?”
Even he stopped to take in the situation, “Hi.” He gave a bow.
“I told her not to call you!”
Hui shrugged, “That's Hwasa, but can I help since I'm here?”
He approached the box surrounded by wires of all sorts. Maman quickly walked in front of it, her red scarf flying momentarily as she moved quickly to stop him.
Then she acted casually, “I've hired an engineer…”
“Great!” He replied with a tense smile. “Well then, nice to have…” he started to turn around.
“Wait!” Maman said, swallowing her pride. “She's 3 hours late!”
Hui joined her at the box while she explained, “The samples won’t delay but the cable--”
He nodded, “There’s another way. Say something, anything.” He motioned to the microphone.
Maman said the typical theatre thing she thought of, “Test, 1, 2, 3.”
The film nerd rolled his eyes, “Anything but that.”
She sighed, “This is weird.”
“It’s weird.” He agreed.
“Very weird.”
“Fucking weird.” He said with a head tilt.
“I’m so mad that I don’t know what to do. Fighting with microphones, freezing down to my bones, and to top it all off I’m with you.”
This was very familiar to Hui, “Feel like going insane, got a fire in your brain, and you’re thinking of drinking gasoline?”
Maman couldn’t help but nod, “As a matter of fact--”
“Honey, I know this act. It’s called the Tango: Maureen.” He did a tango pose. “The Tango: Maureen. It’s a dark, dizzy, merry go round. As she keeps you dangling…”
“You’re wrong!”
“Your heart she is mangliiiing.”
“It’s different with me!”
“And you toss and you turn cause her cold eyes can burn, yet you yearn and you churn and rebound.”
The long haired blonde paused at how deja vu this all sounded, “I think I know what you mean…”
Together, they said, “The Tango: Maureen~.”
Not so much focused on the tech, Hui asked, “Has she ever pouted her lips and called you ‘Aein?’”
Proudly, Maman crossed her arms, “Never.”
“Have you ever doubted a kiss or two?”
She bit her lip, “This is spooky.” Then she took her chance to ask her own questions. “Did you swoon when she walked through the door?”
“Every time, so be....cautious.”
“Did she moon over other boys?.”
Looking directly into her eyes, “More than moon.”
She held her stomach, “I’m getting nauseous.”
Hui stood in the middle of the stage and held out his hand. He cleared his throat and motioned her over. Maman looked behind herself. Surely, he wasn’t asking her? But he was. So she looked him up and down and unbuttoned her jacket and took off her scarf to have less hindrance. Then she took her hand. The two began to tango on the stage as naturally as if they had been dancing together for years.
This took Hui by surprise, so he asked, “Where’d you learn to tango?”
“With the French ambassador's daughter in her dorm room at Ms. Porters and you?”
They paused, “With Moon Dahye, the president’s daughter at the Korean Sundance Film afterparty.”
Giving a cocky smirk, Maman began to take the lead flawlessly while Hui had some trouble following. As a man, he never had to do it before.
“It’s hard to do this backwards.” he admitted.
To which Maman dipped and said, “You should try it in heels.” which she never really wore nowadays. She then dropped him while realizing how absurd this whole things was and finally admitted to herself. “She cheated.”
“She cheated!” He said in a sure tone as he stood up.
“Maureen cheated.”
“Fucking cheated.”
“I’m defeated, I should give up right now,” She said, pulling her hair out of its too tight bun.
Hui tried to cheer her up, “Gotta look on the bright side with all of your might.”
“I’d fall for her still anyhow,” She conceded.
With a playful wiggle of his hip (which got a laugh in return) the two began to tango together once more. They realized when you’re dancing her dance, you don’t stand a chance. Her grip of romance makes you fall.
“So you think might as well--”
“Dance a tango to hell.” She finished.
At least they’ll have tangoed at all. They did the Tango: Maureen where you gotta dance ‘til your diva is through. They had pretended to believe her ‘cause in the end they couldn’t leave her. But the end it will come, still they had to play dumb ‘til they're glum and they bum and turn blue.
Out loud, Hui asked, “Why do we love when she’s mean?” as he returned to the box.
“And she can be so obscene!” She said, lifting her boobs and squishing them together in her dress shirt.
“Try the mic.” He said.
Into the microphone, Maman spoke, “My Maureen~” and the “een” part reverberated like it was meant to.
Raising his arm in success, the film nerd smiled, “Patched!”
“Thanks!” Maman said, returning her hair into its bun since her parents would disown her if she ever cut it.
“You know, I feel great now!” He said with a chuckle knowing the Maureen he knew never really changed.
To which Maman pouted, “I feel lousy!”
Then her phone, which was resting on a table, rang. Hui was gonna pick it up to give to her, but instead she stopped him with a, “Nuh-uh-uh.”
He raised his hands in defeat.
After collecting herself, she answered, “Hey, honey, we’re--AEIN?”
Hui started to laugh until he caught the blonde woman’s glare. She put on a smile.
“You’ve never called me aein before!” The man stifled a laugh, and she looked at him once more. “Forget it. We’re patched.” She hung up.
They looked at each other, “The Tango: Maureen.” and sighed.
At the Life Support Meeting, everyone introduced themselves. “Jae”, “Matthew”, “Sunhee”, “Bom”, “Krystal”
“Hi, I’m Key.”
“Namjoon. Kim Namjoon.” He bowed to the leader.
“I'm Jiyong. Let's begin.” They began to speak the affirmation, “There's only us. There's only this ���”
And Hui entered, interrupting, “Sorry ... Excuse me ... oops.”
“And you are?” Jiyong asked in a patient voice.
“Oh, I'm not--I'm just here to--I don't have--I'm here with--” He waved to Key and Namjoon who smiled back. “Um--Hui. Hui, I'm Hui.” He looked around. “Well...this is quite an operation. Can I?”
He pointed to the camera, and everyone nodded once they heard it was just a life documentary and not news.
Jiyong smiled softly, “We'll continue the affirmation.”
Everyone picked up where they left off, “Forget, regret or life is yours to miss.”
Matthew spoke up, “Excuse me, hyung. I'm having a problem with this, this credo. My T-cells are low. I regret that news, okay?”
“Alright, but Matthew, how do you feel today?”
He looked around, uncomfortable, “What do you mean?”
“How do you feel today?”
“Okay?” He shrugged.
“Is that all?” the older man pushed forward.
He sighed, “Best I've felt all year.”
“Then why choose fear?”
Matthew chuckled, “I'm a millennial; fear's my life!” He sighed. “Look, I find some of what you teach suspect because I'm used to relying on intellect, but I try to open up to what I don't know. Because reason says I should have died three years ago.”
The last part caused Hui paused as that last sentence sounded like something Hyojong would’ve said. Probably had said before.
Still, they pushed on, “No other road. No other way. No day but today.”
Hui continued recording.
Rock and roll. The absolute shredding of a guitar. Add drums. That’s what made up Hyuna’s soul. She sang and performed to the music in sparkly blue lingerie, with her hair pinned up and ready for action.
“What's the time? Well it's gotta be close to midnight. My body's talking to me, and it says:”
“Time for danger!” Her frequent visitors screamed out loud.
She giggled, “It says ‘I wanna commit a crime’ ‘wanna be the cause of a fight’ ‘Wanna put on a tight skirt and flirt with a stranger.” She leaned in front of a obviously horny man with a dumb smile on his face. Five bucks from five people already.
“I've had a knack from way back at breaking the rules once I learn the games. Get up. Life's too quick. I know someplace sick where this chick'll dance in the flames.” Another $200 with a couple of boob wiggles and more singing. “We don't need any money. I always get in for free. You can get in too if you get in with me.”
She blew a kiss to one side of the room while walking to a rather expensive looking target, “Let's go out tonight. I have to go out tonight!” She let down her hair and slitter fell out of it onto the mans lap before she sat.
A rather tough and stoic man covered in tats stood next to the clients to make sure they didn’t touch while they were looking.
“You wanna play? Let's run away; we won't be back before it's Christmas day.” She was lifted up by some stage dancers to make her body look like a cross. “Take me out tonight…” She leaned closely into and older man’s ear and whispered, “Meow!”
And snatched away a thick stack with a, “Ha!”
Her shift was over, so she walked home to her place in glittery, strappy heels and sung to herself, “When I get a wink from the doorman, do you know how lucky you'll be that you're on line with the feline of Avenue B?”
Hyuna set her bag inside her apartment now in white leggings with bananas on them, knee high yellow boots, and a matching crop top as she continued to party by herself.
“Let's go out tonight. I have to go out tonight. You wanna prowl, be my night owl? Well take my hand we're gonna howl, out tonight!”
Then she got to the fire escape through her window and sat on the edge, “In the evening I've got to roam. Can't sleep in the city of neon and chrome. Feels too damn much like home, when the Korean babies cry. So let's find a bar, so dark we forget who we are,” Hyuna grabbed onto the stairs above and yelled into the night, “Where all the scars from the nevers and maybes die!”
She started to climb when she saw blonde hair walking past the upstairs window, “Let's go out tonight! Have to go out tonight. You're sweet wanna hit the street? Wanna wail at the moon like a cat in heat? Just take me out tonight!” She knocks on the window and is let in by Hyojong.
Hyuna entered saying, “Please take me out tonight~” When he ignored her and went to play his guitar, she took it from him. “Don't forsake me, out tonight!” Then the red head  got up on her knees while she was on the table, “I'll let you make me out tonight!”
She tried everything to get him to say yes. Tonight. Every pose and flirt. Tonight. Hyuna wanted him. Tonight.
The red head was even able to get his hands wrapped around her waist and went in for a kiss before she was rejected and he moved away from her.
“Who do you think you are barging in on me and my guitar? Little girl, hey, the door is that way!”
Quietly Hyuna said, “It’s noona.”
“You better go you know the fire is out anyway. Take your powder. Take your candle. Your sweet whisper I just can't handle. Well take your hair in the moonlight your brown eyes goodbye, goodnight.”
He thought to himself, I should tell you. I should tell you. I should--he felt her creeping up on his shoulders.
“No!” Hyojong couldn’t let himself go through this again. “Another time, another place our temperature would climb. There'd be a long embrace. We'd do another dance; it'd be another play. Looking for romance? Come back another day. Another day!” He leaned on the table facing away from her.
Hyuna wanted to ease his pain and comfort him, “The heart may freeze or it can burn. The pain will ease if I can learn, there is no future. There is no past. I live this moment as my last!” She tried to reason with him by saying the words she had been taught.  “There's only us. There's only this. Forget, regret or life is yours to miss. No other road. No other way. No day but today!”
It got Hyojong to look at her, but he was just to angry at her ruining her own life, “Excuse me if I'm off track, but if you're so wise then tell me why do you need smack! Take your needle, take your fancy prayer. Don’t forget get the moonlight out of your hair!”
She stood and looked at her fiery locks in confusion.
He admitted, “Long ago you might’ve lit up my heart, but the fire’s dead and ain't never ever gonna start!” He paced the room silently wishing for it to be “Another time, another place, the words would only rhyme. We'd be in outer space. It'd be another song we'd sing another way. You wanna prove me wrong? Come back another day. Another day!”
The red headed Hyuna began to leave, but her heart wouldn’t let herself give up on him, “There's only yes, only tonight. We must let go to know what's right. No other course. No other way. No day but today.”
She couldn’t control her destiny while E’Dawn tried to control what he could, such as his temper and yet he was mad that she couldn’t see what she was doing to herself. The road she was going down if she kept doing these poisons.
“I trust my soul!”
“Who says that there's a soul?” He replied.
Hyuna kept going, “My only goal is just to be.”
Hyojong spat back, “Just let me be.”
Still aching for something more, she tried again using the words she was taught, the ones that seemed to resonate with him, “There's only now. There's only here.”
Talking over her, he asked once again to her face, “Who do you think you are, barging in on me and my guitar?”
“Give into love or live in fear.” He pulled away from her embrace as she continued, “No other past, no other way!”
“Little girl, hey, the door is that way!”
They were too caught up in their own emotions that they weren’t listening to the other person. Both were so passionate. Hyuna wanted him to be open and love her as she felt they were meant to be together, but Hyojong couldn’t let himself be open. Not again. Not by someone like her. Who deserved better than him.
“No day but today!” She said.
“The fire’s out anyway.” Though he didn’t really want it to be.
No day but today.
“Take your powder. Take your candle.”
No day but today.
“Take your brown eyes, your pretty smile, your silhouette.” Why wouldn’t she just leave? Did he want her to stay?
No day but today.
“Another time, another place, another rhyme, a warm embrace.”
“No day but today!” Her voice sounded like it was begging now.
He couldn’t waver, “Another dance, another way, another chance, another day!”
No day but today! It wasn’t just her saying it now, but his own mind.
Hyuna tried to kiss him, but he turned away once more. She couldn’t take another rejection...so she left out the front door holding back tears and not knowing that he was trying to do the same. That he was trying to ask you to come back, but Hyojong’s aching heart wouldn’t let him call out to her.
Hyojong picked up his guitar, his safety blanket of sorts. “I’m writing one great song, before I…”
It’s strange when you think about humanity and all the troubles we go through just trying to get by. Some people think they only have themselves while others are frightened to reach out to the people they know they have. Fear is a very real thing. It’s toxic and can still even the surest of movements if it’s let in for just a moment.
Worrying thoughts such as Will I lose my dignity? Tend to stir in one’s mind as they wonder what will happen if they admit something is wrong with them or if they need help. That leads to Will someone care? All in all, people tend to question everything and have no idea what the future holds. That’s impossible to know, but they still ask Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?
And the answer can make or break them.
Will I lose my dignity?
Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?
Ask yourself these questions, and then live long enough to find the answer. Don’t forget there’s always another tomorrow, and you never have to do today again.
As Namjoon, Key, Hui, and now Hyojong walked the streets to Christmas bells were ringing. They saw a man with wet sleeves holding a bucket and a squeegee. He approached a car stopped at a red light and cleaned its window.
When he went to collect his fee for cleaning, he gave a warm smile, “Honest living, man!” And yet the car sped off. “Feliz Navidad.” and scoffed, sitting back on the side of the road.
There were homeless people sleeping all around the lot, just loitering and not bothering anyone. Not for real. Maybe asking a passerby for money to eat but that’s about it.
One of the men in the warmest clothes he could find and probably the only clothing he owned greeted three officers who patrolled the area on foot, “Evening, officers.”
Apparently they didn’t like his attitude, for the first one started to grab the man’s collar. Hui jumped in with his cell phone and the others did the same.
“Smile for YouTube, Officer Martin.” Hui did a close up of the man’s name tag.
They let him go and left. The homeless man had the last word, “And a Merry Christmas to your family!”
“Right…” You could see he wanted to flip the homeless man off.
As Hui continued to film, he saw a person carrying a lot of bags.
Apparently, they didn’t like being filmed, “Who the fuck do you think you are? I don't need no goddamn help from some bleeding heart cameraman. My life's not for you to make a name for yourself on.”
Key interrupted with a soft voice, “Easy, sugar, easy. He was just trying to--”
They weren’t having it, “Just trying to use me to kill his guilt. It's not that kind of movie, honey.” They talked to their pink haired companion. “Let's go. This lot is full of motherfucking artists!” Still… “Hey, artist, you gotta dollar?”
The companion shook a styrofoam cup, but Hui had no money to give.
“I thought not.” They scoffed and moved onto their train.
Wanting to move the awkward moment along, Key said, “New York City!” and did jazz hands to distract them. “Center of the universe.”
“Sing it, girl--” Namjoon said.
“Times are shitty, but I'm pretty sure they can't get worse.”
“I hear that.” Hui nodded.
“It's a comfort to know when you're singing the hit the road blues that anywhere else you could possibly go after New York would be…” He used his deepest voice. “A pleasure cruise.”
The others laughed at the sudden change in tone.
Namjoon agreed, “Now you're talking.” Then he paused. “Well, I'm thwarted by a metaphysic puzzle, and I'm sick of grading papers that I know. Now I'm shouting in my sleep, I need a muzzle. All this misery pays no salary, so...Let's open up a restaurant in Santa Fe. Oh, sunny Santa Fe would be nice. We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe, and leave this to the roaches and mice” He sighed, “Ohhhh-oohhh-ooo-oh-ohh”
“You teach?” Asked Key
“Yeah, I teach. Computer age philosophy while my students would rather watch TV.”
She chuckled, “America.”
“America!” The whole train seemed to echo.
He then decided to charm Key some more, “You're a sensitive aesthete, brush the sauce onto the meat. You could make the menu sparkle with a rhyme. You could drum a gentle drum,” Namjoon patted the bucket. “I could seat guests as they come. Chatting not about Heidegger, but wine!” He grinned as he linked arms with Hyojong and ‘seated’ him in a new spot on the train as if he were a customer. “Let's open up a restaurant in Santa Fe. Our labors would reap financial gain.” He pointed at E’Dawn, Hui, and Key in turn each singing higher that the last.
“Gain”
“Gain”
“Gain”
“We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe and save from devastation our brains.”
They chanted after him, “Save our brains.”
“We'll pack up all our junk and fly so far away, devote ourselves to projects that sell. We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe! Forget this cold Bohemian hell.”
This time it was one of the street performers on the train who sang along to his sighs, “Ohhhh- oohhh-ooo-oh-ohh. Whoa~”
Namjoon smiled and leaned bowed as the doors slid open letting Key go first to step carefully over the gap in his heels.
“Do you know the way to Santa Fe? You know, tumbleweeds... prairie dogs…”
Everyone grinned in unison, “Yeah…”
Then Hui and Hyojong said that they would catch the two later since it seemed the blonde had something he wanted to talk about something. Or someone. The other two agreed and continued to just walk around.
“Alone at last.” Key acted cute to get his attention.
Namjoon was nervous, “He’ll be right back, I promise.” and went to pick up the bucket that had been left behind.
“I’ve been hearing violins all night.” He tried to drop a stronger hint to see if his love interest would pick it up as well.
“Anything to do with me?” He asked, genuinely curious and hopeful. “Are we a thing?”
Key took the bucket out of his hands and held them himself, “Jagiya, we’re everything.” She hugged him from behind, “Live in my house, I'll be your shelter. Just pay me back with one thousand kisses. Be my lover, and I'll cover you.”
Oblivious as always, the warmly dressed man could only hope he was asking to be official and faced his love, “Open your door, I'll be your tenant. Don't got much baggage to lay at your feet, but sweet kisses I've got to spare. I'll be there and I'll cover you.”
The grin he got in return confirmed it. It felt as though their hearts were singing to each other since they were too shy to do it out loud on the street like this. Their hearts beat out, I think they meant it when they said you can't buy love. Now I know you can rent it. A new lease, you are my love. On life, be my life.
They began to be that stupidly cute couple you rarely see and just danced on the street no longer caring who saw them since it was just the two of them that mattered. Their hearts still sang, Just slip me on, I'll be your blanket. Wherever, whatever I'll be your coat.
Placing an imaginary crown on his lover’s head, Key stood on his tippy toes, “You'll be my king, and I'll be your castle.”
“No, you'll be my queen, and I'll be your moat.” Namjoon made a wavy motion with his arms. Then he spoke what his heart had said earlier. “I think they meant it when they said you can't buy love. Now I know you can rent it. A new lease, you are my love. On life, be my life.”
She nodded, “I've longed to discover something as true as this is.”
“So, with a thousand sweet kisses…”
“If you're cold and you're lonely”
“I'll cover you with a thousand sweet kisses.”
“You've got one nickel only.”
“I'll cover you”
“With a thousand sweet kisses,” Key said it first this time.
Namjoon let her, “When you're worn out and tired…”
“I'll cover you with a thousand sweet kisses”
“When your heart has expired”
Key promised, “I'll cover you.”
Together, they belted out everything they had in their heart that had become one with this confession of feelings and display of affection, “Oh, lover I'll cover you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Oh, lover.”
They held each other closely, “I'll cover you.”
Then they kissed and decided to continue their stroll elsewhere.
To check in with Maman, she was on the phone sorting things out at her office, “Steve? Joanne The Murget case?” She asked for the verdict. “A dismissal! Good work counselor! We're okay!”
Then her cell phone rang showing a cute photo of Hwasa, “Jagiya, wait, I'm on the other phone. Yes, I have the cowbell. We're okay.”
She switched back to her office phone, “So tell them we'll sue, but a settlement will do. Sexual harassment and civil rights, too. Steve, you're great.” Catching something that Hwasa said, Maman replied. “No, you cut the paper plate. Didja cheat on Mark a lot, would you say?”
The lawyer caught herself and closed her eyes, “We're okay. Honey, hold on…” Into the other phone, she spoke, “Steve, hold on…” and then pressed the CALL WAITING button on her cell phone to see who it was.
“Hello? Dad, yes I beeped you. Hwasa is coming to Mother's hearing. We're okay.”
She heard Hwasa say something and switched back, “Honeybear what? Dogbird's lesbian sister? I'll tell him.” Maman switched over and then her dad cut her off before she got a chance to say anything. “You heard?” switch. “They heard. We're okay.”
“And to you, Dad.” Then she hung up the call with her father and was only down to two calls to focus on. “Yes,” She set her jaw at her girlfriend’s sentence. “Jill is there?”
She spoke on the office phone, “Steve, gotta--” but quickly went back to her cell, “Jill with the short black hair? The Calvin Klein model? Steve, gotta go!” Maman hung up the right phone surprisingly and spoke to Hwasa. “The model who lives in Penthouse A???”
“We're...we're okay. I'm on my way.”
Quickly, Maman grabbed her bag and walked out of her office to make sure nothing happened between her girlfriend and the Calvin Klein model Jill.
______
Christmas bells are ringing. Christmas bells are ringing. Christmas bells are singing...On TV. At SAKS.
“Honest living, honest living…” The squeegeman called out repeatedly trying to get some one to pay him for his work.
The homeless begged all around, “Can't you spare a dime or two? Here but for the grace of God go you. You'll be merry. I'll be merry, though merry ain't in my vocabulary.” They sighed at old memories of being warm and happy if they had them, and if not, they dreamed of the day that they would have a place of their own and food on the table. But for now: No sleigh bells. No Santa Claus. No yule log. No tinsel. No holly. No hearth. No--
“Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.” Some rude teens messed with a display that was a well known spot for homeless to sleep, not thinking of the consequences or just not caring.
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. There was no room at the Holiday Inn. And it's beginning to snow. However, when things got bad, there was always something to do. So they opened up shop before things got too bad since they might have been able to make some money and find a place to stay. A small hope, but better than nothing.
“Hats!”
“Bats”
“Shoes”
“Booze”
“Mountain bikes”
“Potpourri”
“Leather bags”
“Girlie mags”
“Forty fives” and most importantly
“AZT!”
They called out to anyone that would listen, often overlapping with one another.
One vendor called out, “No one's buying? Feel like crying.”
Still there was no room at the Holiday Inn. Oh no. And it's beginning to snow.
A large woman talked up her things to Namjoon and Key who were passing by, “How about a fur in perfect shape? Owned by an MBA from uptown. I got a tweed broken in by a greedy broker who went broke and then broke down.”
Namjoon, having gotten his coat stolen yesterday told her, “You don't have to do this…”
“Hush your mouth, it's Christmas.” was his reply.
“I do not deserve you, Key.” The beanie wearing man stared with love in his eyes while his boyfriend searched through the coat rack. “Give, Give all you do is give.”
She squatted down, “Wait, what's on the floor? Let's see some more. No, no, no, no.” He basically hissed at the hideous collection.”
“Give me some way to show how you've touched me so.”
Key didn’t want much, “Kiss me, it's beginning to snow.” He grabbed Namjoon’s vest with both hands and pulled him closer.
Now with the boys Hui and Hyojong, the latter had explained what had happened today with Hyuna. Hui was more surprised not to see him inside the house.
“...She said, "Would you light my candle' and she put on a pout and she wanted you to take her out tonight?”
“Right.” Hyojong confirmed.
“She got you out!”
He shook his head, “She was more than okay, but I pushed her away. It was bad, I got mad and I had to get her out of my sight.”
Hui squinted at his blonde friend, “Wait, wait, wait, you said she was sweet!”
Hyojong just shook his head, not wanting to talk about his big screw up, “Let's go eat. I’ll just get fat. It's the one vice left when you're dead meat.” Then yellow boots caught his eye. “There! That's her!”
“Hwasa?” The only important her in Hui’s life was not the one passing by.
He turned his friend around and pointed, “Hyuna!”
“Woah!”
“I should go--” Hyojong started.
Then both men looked up, “Hey, it's beginning to snow.”
As cops circulated, music from nearby played. “I'm dreaming of a white white Christmas.”
However, even in this snow junkies and addicts of all sorts were trying to get their fix by visiting their local drug dealer who was avoiding the cops that had just left the specific area. They only had one goal and that was to follow the man, follow the man with his pockets full of the jam. Follow the man, follow the man.
“Help me out, Daddy, if you can.” They begged and then asked, “Got any D, man?”
To which the shady figure replied, “I'm cool.” leading them to where he kept his stash.
“Got any C, man?” Another asked.
“I'm cool.”
“Got any X? Any smack? Any horse? Any joogie boogie boy? Any blow?” All street names for drugs were spoken and then handed out.
The police seemed to be too close for comfort, so Hyuna waited for them to move along giving Hyojong time to catch up with her.
“Hey…” He said.
“Hey.” She replied nonchalantly.
Hyojong looked at her eyes, “I just want to say I'm sorry for the way --”
“Forget it.” Hyuna spoke dismissively.
“I blew up.” He stepped forward. “Can I make it up to you?”
She raised her eyebrow, “How?”
“Dinner party?” Hyojong offered.
“That'll do.” She smiled at him.
The dealer came back because he was sure he had missed someone from his original client list today. He wasn’t happy when he saw her chatting with an old customer who suddenly stopped visiting him one day. Had he gone and made his own business?
“Hey lover boy, cutie pie. You steal my client, you die!”
E’Dawn was gonna fight, “You didn't miss me, you won't miss her! You'll never lack for customers!”
He remembered his past self willing to kill for a fix, “I'm willin', I'm illin'. I gotta get my sickness off.” and how skittish he was around enforcers. “Gotta run, gotta ride. Gotta gun, gotta hide, gotta go.”
Holding up two bags of white powder the dealer chuckled, “And it's beginning to snow.”
Choogmin was not happy when he saw a crowd starting to arrive for Hwasa’s show. He even called his wife to tell her, “We're outta luck, Alison, the protest is on!” As the addicts came back when they saw the cops were gone or at least not close enough to see their business being done. The coat vendor was still trying to make a sale with Namjoon and Key.
“L. L. Bean, Geoffrey Beene. Burburry zip-out lining.” She picked one very familiar to Namjoon. “Here's a new arrival.”
The man gasped when he noticed the missing sleeve, “That's my coat!”
To which the vendor replied, “We give discounts~”
He wasn’t about to let her get off, “It's a sham!”
Key didn’t want them to fight, so he said, “Let's get a better one!”
“But she's a thief!”
“But she brought us together~”
Namjoon couldn’t argue with that and pointed to one coat that had caught his eye, “I'll take the leather.
“Honest living!” in the background.
Hyojong introduced his two friends, “Hui, this is Hyuna-noona.”
They bowed to each other and greeted each other politely. Hui hesitated for a bit because he was sure he had seen her somewhere before.
“She'll be dining with us.” the blonde spoke awkwardly.
“I think we've met.” Hui said.
Nearby the dealer was dealing with an unhappy customer, “That is an ounce!”
Hyuna smirked, “That's what he said!”
Then he changed his story, “I said it's a gram!”
Watching more people file in, Choongmin asked his wife, “Which investor's coming? Your father? Damn!” It wasn’t going to be a good impression.
But Hyuna and Hui seemed to be getting along quite nicely as she asked why he had such a large camera and why he never stopped recording. He said he was recording life, and it made Hyojong happy to see people he loved connecting. Still he sort of just hung in the background while they continued talking.
Then he finally spoke up, “Let's go to the lot. Hwasa's performing.”
Hyana turned around from making a silly face in the camera, “Who's Hwasa?”
“His ex.” He motioned to Hui.
Both turned to look at him, and he said, “But I am over her.”
Hui began walking ahead of the maybe couple. Hyuna reached out to hold his hand, but he pulled away.
“Let's not hold hands yet.”
“Is that a warning?” She pouted.
“I just need to take it slow.”
Key helped his love put on his new leather coat after the vendor drove a hard bargain. He looked amazing in it! Namjoon felt good in it too, so he began acting as if he were a millionaire showing off his new threads. Key joined in on the little play and sassily walked into her lover’s arms.
Hyojong thought to himself as he looked at Hyuna, I should tell you, I should tell you. I should tell you, I should tell you.
She also thought, I should tell you.
They opened their mouths at the same time, “I…”
Hui didn’t notice and so he pointed to the sky, “And it's beginning to…”
Namjoon and Key noticed as well, “And it's beginning to…”
“And it's beginning to--” Every person who could see crystals falling from the sky said.
Hwasa showed up on her motorcycle, making a path clear for her and handed her helmet to her girlfriend, “Maman, which way to the stage?”
Snow! It was finally snowing! But that didn’t stop the show from going on. Soon things settled and the performer with short black hair was handed her cowbell. After a quick kiss from Maman, she went on stage. The other stood to the side to make sure she was close in case anything went wrong.
___________
Then the spotlight came on with the clank of a cowbell. Hwasa began her performance.
“Last night, I had a dream.” She looked at all the eyes. “I found myself in a desert called: Cyberland. It was hot,” Hwasa fanned herself  and pantomimed a leak. “My canteen had sprung a leak and I was thirsty.”
A few giggles spread through the audience.
She pointed into the distance, “Out of the abyss walked a cow, Elsie. I asked if she had anything to drink.” The woman struck a strange pose. “She said, ‘I'm forbidden, to produce...milk. In Cyberland we only drink DIET COKE.”
With the fixed reverb, “Diet Coke” echoed and echoed. She sang everything that Elsie said to make sure the crowd knew it was the cow and not her speaking. Why? Because ART because PERFORMANCE! That’s fucking why.
“Yes!” Hwasa said to herself, clenching in her fist for it was working. Then she continued by pressing a button that played violin on cue, “She said, ‘Only thing to do is jump over the moon!’” The music stopped. “‘They closed everything real down like barns and troughs and performance spaces” She stared daggers at Choongmin who was front row. “And replaced it all with lies and rules and virtual LIFE!’” She did the robot.
“Life, life, -ife”
“‘But there is a way out’” Another button showed a child’s drawing of a cow and audio played which repeated. “leap of faith, leap of faith, leap of faith, leap of faith.” in a sing song voice which Hwasa vocalized with.
“Oooooooo. ‘Only thing to do is ~jump over the moon~!’ I've gotta get out of here!” She screamed and started to pantomime her words once more. “It's like I'm being tied to the hood of a yellow rental truck being packed in with fertilizer, and fuel oil pushed over a cliff by a suicidal Mickey Mouse.” She made a gun with her hand and ‘shot’ herself after putting on one of those cheesey Mickey Mouse ear head bands.
She then head thrashed with every syllable, “I've gotta Gotta Gotta Gotta Gotta Gotta Gotta Gotta Gotta Gotta Gotta Gotta Gotta Gotta Go--” She coughed and then gathered more breath. “Gotta Gotta find a way, to ~jump over the moon~! Only thing to do is jump over the moon~”
The headband was now on the floor, “Then, a little bull dog entered. His name, we have learned, was Choongmin.” She glanced her shirt real quick to make sure she had the prop and pointed at the man himself who received boos. “And although he once had principles, he abandoned them to live as a lapdog to a wealthy daughter of the revolution.”
Hwasa made her eyes wide and stuck her tongue out like a panting pup. She pressed a third button that turned on a jazzy instrumental and snapped along with it, giving herself time to put on glasses just like the ones her persecutor wore.
“‘Uh one two three that's bull!’ he said ‘Ever since that cat took up the fiddle that cow's been...jumpy. The dish and the spoon were evicted from the table and eloped. She's had trouble with the milk and that moon ever since.” She motioned to her breasts for milk and her ass for moon while concluding the bulldog’s intro with. “‘Maybe it's a... “““female thing”””?”
The short haired Hwasa continued to play as the greedy Choongmin, “‘Cause who'd want to leave Cyberland anyway? Walls ain't so bad~’” She mimed those walls surrounding her on all sides. “The dish and the spoon for instance, they're down on their luck they come knocking on my doghouse door and I say.” She cocked an invisible rifle. “‘NOT IN MY BACKYARD, UTENSILS, GO BACK TO CHINA!’”
“Biddi Bonggg.” said one of the cows behind her.
Fast as lightning, the glasses were hung back on her shirt and she went back into her Cow Pose to continue talking as Elsie. “‘The only way out is up!’ Elsie whispered to me, ‘A leap of faith’!” Hwasa sung in her highest register. “‘Sill thirsty?’” Hwasa smacked her lips and acted as if she hadn’t drank anything in days. “Parched”
“-ched, -ched, -ched”
“‘Have some milk.’ And I lowered myself beneath her and held my mouth to her swollen udder and I sucked the sweetest milk I have ever tasted.” She slurped as loud as she possibly could without actually slurping anything. ‘Climb onboard!’ she said. And as a harvest moon rose over Cyberland, we reared back. We sprang into a gallop leaping, out of orbit. I awoke. Singing…”
She had gotten so caught up in her show that she forgot to press the button. So she allowed herself to break character for a moment and rolled her eyes in frustration. Hwasa pushed the button and did her little dance while the audio chanted, “Leap of faith, leap of faith, leap of faith, leap of faith.”
“Ooooo. Only thing to do, only thing to is jump. Only thing to do is jump over the moon. Only thing to do is jump over the moon. Over the moon. Over the mooooooo.” Emotion just overcame her and the sound just came out. “Mooooooooooo.” She embraced the cow and yelled into the microphone. “MOOOOOOOOO!”
Her eyes scanned the amused crowd and beckoned, “Moo with me.”
“Moooo…” someone from the back called, barely heard.
Hwasa nodded in response, “Come on, sir, mooooo!”
She refused to stop mooing until all of the audience was mooing with her, save the surrounding cops and Park Choongmin himself.
“Mooooo! Mooooooo! Moooooooo! Moooo.”
“MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Hwasa said angrily. Then collected herself slightly, “Thank you.” She bowed.
Everyone applauded, and then she got off stage to meet her girlfriend and friends. They quickly got out of there through a back entrance before the businessman could talk to them. It seemed he wasn’t there, though. Where had he gone?
Well, he was sitting in the Life Cafe with his father-in-law who was also the most important investor of the property where the protest was held. Right now, he was just trying to save his own ass and explaining where he planned to go from here in order for them to get the lot secured with no problems.
Then a horde of like 20 people all dressed as young adults usually did, wildly fashionable but also slightly questionable in taste.
The waiter saw them coming and tried to stop them, “No, please no. Not tonight, please no. Mister, can't. You? Go. Not tonight, can't have a scene.” His voice was deep and Australian.
“What??” Hyojong asked.
“Go, please go. You,”
The blonde pulled Hyuna by the hand past the lone waiter.
“Hello, sir! I said no. Important customer.” He pointed out Park Choongmin and other.
“What am I, just a blur?” Hui asked.
The waiter said, “You sit all night, you never buy!”
“That's a lie, that's a lie! I had a tea the other day.”
He folded his arms, “You couldn't pay.”
“Oh yeah…”
Key stuck a $100 bill in the waiter’s hand to get him to shut up and show that they could pay for whatever was ordered tonight.
Namjoon stared down and playfully leaned on the business man’s head, “THE Park Choongmin? Here?”
“Oh no.” The young waiter groaned.
“Wine and beer!” The hungry young adults demanded as they sat and rearrainged tables.
Hwasa called him, “The enemy of Avenue A.” and looked at the waiter. “We'll stay.”
“Oy vey!”
Namjoon asked, “What brings the mogul in his own mind to the Life Cafe?”
Choongmin asked for a second from the man in a three piece suit worth more than the cafe itself and then held up his cup to the short haired woman, “ would like to propose a toast to Hwasa’s noble try. It went well.”
In the same false cheer, Hwasa said, “Go to Hell.”
The others laughed.
Still, the man wasn’t giving up, “Was the yuppie scum stomped? Not counting the homeless, how many tickets weren't comped?”
She just flipped him off.
Hyojong decided to ask, “Why did Muffy--”
“Alison.” He corrected.
“--miss the show?”
He put his hands in his pockets, “There was a death in the family if you must know.”
Key put his hand to his heart, “Who died?”
“Our Akita.” Choongmin said.
Hui, Hyojong, Namjoon, and Key look at each other, “Evita!”
Someone barked.
Then Choongmin went up to the red head, “Hyuna, I'm surprised a bright and charming girl like you hangs out with these slackers who don't adhere to deals.”
As if they ever actually settled that half ass deal.
“They make fun, yet I'm the one attempting to do some good or do you really want a neighborhood where people piss on your stoop every night? Bohemia, Bohemia's a fallacy in your head. This is Calcutta. Bohemia is dead.”
So Hui stood, “Dearly beloved, we gather here to say our goodbyes~”
Hui and Namjoon held hands and lowered their heads, “Dies irae, dies illa. Kyrie eleison. Yitgadal veyitkadash.”
Everyone began to fake cry and wail and mourn the so called death of Bohemia.
“Here she lies!” Hui continued. “No one knew her worth. The late great daughter of Mother Earth. On this night when we celebrate the birth--in that little town of Bethlehem. We raise our glass, you bet your ass, to…”
Hwasa pulled down her jeans and mooned the yuppie scum she had the displeasure of knowing personally.
From the top of his lungs, Hui sings, “La vie Bohème!” Just for the sake of causing a ruckas.
The others started to slowly chant, “La vie Bohème...La vie Bohème...La vie Bohème...La vie Bohème.”
It even had a funky beat that caused the ringleader to continue this teasing, “To days of inspiration, playing hooky, making something out of nothing, the need to express to communicate. To going against the grain. Going insane...Going mad. To loving tension, no pension. To more than one dimension, to starving for attention, hating convention, hating pretension. Not to mention, of course” He did the filmer fingers to frame who he know was Choong-ie’s father-in-law. “Hating dear old Mom and Dad.”
“To riding your bike midday past the three-piece suits, to fruits” the gay members of the group posed accordingly. “To no absolutes, to Absolut, to choice, to The Village Voice, to any passing fad.”
And more importantly, “To being an us, for once instead of a them!”
“La vie Bohème.” the others cheered. “La vie Bohème!”
When Hwasa saw that Maman had come in, she asked, “Is the equipment in a pyramid?”
“It is, jagi.”
“The mixer doesn't have a case.”
Maman gave a shocked face and then started to walk out to fix things.
“Don't give me that face.” Hwasa said before grabbing her arm to pull her around to play with her hair. Just gals being pals.
Mr. Grey cleared his throat, “Ahem.”
“Hey, Mister. She's my sister.” Maman grabbed her ass and then left to go deal with the mixer.
The waiter had been doing his job and started to confirm orders, “So that's five miso soup, four seaweed salad, three soy burger dinner, two tofu dog platter, and one pasta with meatless balls.”
One of the boys looked around, “Ew.”
Namjoon stood up for himself, “It tastes the same.”
Hyuna giggled, “If you close your eyes.”
“And thirteen orders of fries. Is that it here?” The deep voiced Australian asked.
A chorus of, “Wine and beer!” came back at him.
Hyuna and Key made eye contact and jumped on the table to play patty cake, “To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries. To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese.” the two faked sharing a plastic phallus for this next part. “To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo. To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou.”
Namjoon and Hwasa joined in, “Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion. Creation, vacation.”
Hui held a very shaken can of sprite near his crotch and pointed it towards Mr. Grey, “Mucho masturbation.” the white foam sprayed all over him.
The performer and computer genius continued, “Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new.”
“To Sontag.” Namjoon said.
And Key picked up, “To Sondheim.”
Four of their friends body rolled in unison after climbing on top of their table, “To anything taboo.” but also in various positions.
Hyojong and Joon faced each other, “Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham, and Cage.”
“Lenny Bruce!” Namjoon referenced E’Dawn’s form.
Hyojong did the same, “Langston Hughes!”
The ever dramatic Hwasa reached to the lights and exclaimed, “To the stage!”
“To Uta” A silver haired girl in combat boots said.
“To Buddha.” Namjoon added.
J-Hope included, “Pablo Neruda, too.”
Walking down the table was Hyuna pretending to have Hui on a leash as he walked on all fours as they sang, “Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow to blow off Auntie Em!”
Several people joined in to give the businessmen the middle finger but in more...polite ways before yelling, “La vie Bohème!”
Maman was back, so Hwasa went to meet her, “And wipe the speakers off before you pack.”
“Yes, jagi.”
“Well, hurry back.” The short haired performer kissed her lawyer girlfriend.
Mr. Grey raised his eyebrow, “Sister?”
In unison, they played dumb, “We're close.”
And they parted ways to show Namjoon being tackled and kissed by Key while everyone joked, “Brothers!”
Then everyone began partying a bit harder, “Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens, Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee-wee Herman. German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein, Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa. Carmina Burana. To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy.”
They jumped on and off of furniture, “Vaclav Havel, The Sex Pistols, 8BC! To no shame, never playing the Fame Game.”
Namjoon held a fake blunt, “To marijuana!”
Again things went sexual with people on top of other people and maybe another person just for the hell of it, “To sodomy. It's between God and me! To S & M!”
Hyuna in particular slid close to Mr. Grey and started to pull his tie sexily. He backed up in fear since he was a married man who actually loved his wife.
“Waiter... Waiter... Waiter!”
The waiter then arrived and separated the two, giving Hyuna a look and trying not to smirk so that he could keep his job.
“La vie Bohème!”
Namjoon grabbed a salt shaker and began to use it as a microphone, “In honor of the death of bohemia, an impromptu salon will commence immediately following dinner. Kim Hyuna,” The woman herself began to do the dance she usually did on stage. “Clad only in bubble wrap will perform her famous lawn chair-handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred.”
She laughed and covered her red lips as she was helped down by E’Dawn who announced, “And Lee Hwitaek will preview his new documentary about his inability to hold an erection on high holy days.”
Hui bent the now empty mayo bottle to make it look like he couldn’t get it up and then set it on the table, “And Hwasa, back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the eleventh street lot, will sing traditional Korean monk chants backwards through her vocoder, while accompanying herself on the electric cello, which she has never studied.”
Hyuna was taken aside by Choongmin who spoke to her in private, “Your new boyfriend doesn't know about us.”
She looked away from him, “There's nothing to know.”
“Don't you think that we should discuss --”
“It was three months ago.”
“He doesn't act like he's with you.” “We're taking it slow.” She shot back. Unlike their former relationship.
He scoffed, “Where is he now?”
“He's right-- She whipped around and pointed to where he just was a few seconds ago. “Um..”
“Uh huh…” Choongmin said.
Where'd he go?
Hui was the next to proclaim, “And E’Dawn will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song.”
Hyojong had realized the electric guitar on stage was abandoned and had to go to it. He played a simple line. The one he always played.
His friend rolled his eyes, “That doesn't remind us of Musetta's Waltz”
Namjoon grabbed the saltshaker back, “And THE Kim Kibum will model the latest fall fashions from Paris while accompanying herself on the 10 gallon plastic pickle tub.”
Key beamed at his love, “And Collins will recount his exploits as anarchist, including the tale of the successful reprogramming of the M.I.T. virtual reality equipment to self-destruct, as it broadcasts the words:”
Everyone screamed at the top of their lungs, “Actual Reality - ACT UP - Fight AIDS!”
Choongmin called for the check so he could get the hell out of there before things got any worse. Hyuna had had it with Hyojong who was nursing a beer. She shoved his shoulder.
“Excuse me, did I do something wrong? I get invited, then ignored all night long!”
“I've been trying, I'm not lying.” He replied. “No one's perfect, I've got baggage.”
“Life's too short, babe, time is flying! I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine.”
His heart leaked out for a moment, “I should tell you--”
She talked over him, “I've got baggage too.”
“I should tell you--”
The others called for another round of drinks. Then Hyuna’s timer went off.
She sighed, “AZT break.” She took out her bedazzled pill pack.
Hyojong recognized the shape, “You?” He took out his own square package with leaves doodled all over it.
“Me.” She saw it and softened her tone. “You?”
“Noona?”
The blonde looked behind him, and he took her to a place out the back that would allow them to talk without all the music and noise happening inside. He had forgotten jackets but even just being near her was enough warmth to last for now. Also, if he didn’t say something now, he would never say it.
He looked down at this hands, “I should tell you, I'm disaster. I forget how to begin it.”
Hyuna didn’t want any sadness, “Let's just make this part go faster. I have yet to be in it. I should tell you…”
I should tell you. I should tell you. There was so much to tell. I should tell you She went first, “I should tell I blew the candle out just to get back in.”
“I'd forgotten how to smile until your candle burned my skin.” He showed her the small burn scar that was still there from the wax.
I should tell you. I should tell you. I should tell you. I should tell… He looked into her eyes. It was still unsaid how they felt each other, but the look was enough.
“Well, here we go. Now we…” Hyojong reached out to her.
She pulled away, suddenly aware of what this meant, “Oh no.”
He tried again and held out his hand, “I know this something is...here goes.”
“Here goes.” Hyuna put her hand into his.
“Guess so, it's starting to...who knows?”
She nodded, her red hair bobbing with her head, “Who knows?” So many questions passed through their minds. Who knows where this relationship would go? Who goes there, as deep as they were going so soon? Who knows how long it would last? Here goes… For once in their lives they were trusting desire, starting to learn. Walking through fire without a burn. They held each other’s forearms not sure how close to get yet. Clinging a shoulder a leap begins. Stinging and older, asleep on pins.
So here we go. Now we…
Hyojong pulled back this time, suddenly scared again, absolutely terrified of the ending coming faster than he could handle.
“Oh no.”
She touched his hand, “I know.”
This simple understanding made him grab her hand even more tightly than before, “Oh no.”
Who knows where? Who goes there? Here goes.
They kissed not knowing what this would mean in the long run and not knowing how long that run would be.
Hwasa was caught kissing another girl with short red hair and then smiled when she saw her girlfriend entering, quickly going to her as if nothing happened. Maman had seen it though.
“Are we packed?” the black haired girl asked.
“Yes, and by next week I want you to be.” She walked past her now ex.
Confused and crushed, Hwasa asked, “Aein?”
“And you should see, they've padlocked your building and they're rioting on Avenue B.” the Doc Martin wearing woman said. “Choongie called the cops.”
“That fuck!” Hwasa said.
This got her a glare from her ex, “They don't know what they're doing. The cops are sweeping the lot, but no one's leaving. They're just sitting there mooing!”
Now they had even more reason to celebrate, “To Dance!” Someone said, pointing to Hyuna letting her get on the table once more.
“No way to make a living, masochism, pain, perfection, muscle spasms, chiropractors, short careers, eating disorders!”
Everyone pointed to Hui, “Film!”
He stood up and said, “Adventure, tedium, no family, boring locations, dark rooms, perfect faces, egos, money, Hollywood and sleaze!”
“Music!”
Key stood and Vogued on the tables, “Food of love, emotion, mathematics, isolation, rhythm, feeling, power, harmony, and heavy competition!”
“Anarchy!”
This time both Namjoon and Hwasa got up on the table and yelled at the top of their lungs, “Revolution, justice, screaming for solutions. Forcing changes, risk, and danger. Making noise and making pleas!”
They made more lists of what bohemia stood for. Each one of them was Bohemia. To people living with, living with, living with not dying from disease!
With linked wild hearts they cheered, “Let he among us without sin be the first to condemn! La vie Bohème! La vie Bohème! La vie Bohème!”
Hui came out of the fray and spoke with pride, “Anyone out of the mainstream? Is anyone in the mainstream? Anyone alive with a sex drive!”
“Or lack of!” A cute short person with an ace spectrum flag pin spoke up, getting a smile from the others.
“Tear down the wall, aren't we all? The opposite of war isn't peace...it’s creation!”
“Woooooooo! La vie Bohème…” The customers had turn the place into a beautifully crazy ruckas.
Hui goes to the top floor and records from the window as he narrates, “The riot continues as the Christmas tree goes up in flames.”
Fire engulfed twinkling lights and plastic bristles. The snow dances. Oblivious, Hyuna and Hyojong share a small tender kiss as they escaped out the back to go home or somewhere for the two of them to just talk. It wasn’t that small, but it was tender. Passionate. Hui worked on collecting footage and thought of selling it.
Inside were yells of, “Viva la vie Bohème!”
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peppersbian · 2 years ago
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16 October 2022
Realistically I know money isn't an issue for me. I have two bills. Insurance and Car. But im stressed out. I'm used to having a steady income every week but now i am being paid monthly, and much less than what I was. What a bummer.
Its just stress really. I want another source of income. Ive I can take a second job, work a little on the weekends. Though in an ideal world I would have a passive income. I feel like I should finish the popsicklestuck sets on redbubble, so maybe I would get more sales and get paid my 20 bucks more than like once every 6-7 months. I think realistically that should be my first step. I also have been thinking about making crochet patterns and selling them on etsy/ravelry/itchio/whatever. I think that would be fun, but it would probably require being active on social media and all.
Aris says I should tutor and Clover says I should babysit. I bet i could do those, but i really would just like to not be anxious about money!
I wanna make a zine. Like a mini monthly publication. Form a poetry group. Make moodboards. I fantasize about like a pdf to download and share but I love the idea of printing and folding and handing them out too. i want to write and contribute to something again. Its like a writers high since the publication party.
Im writing in my journal again for now. hope this can scratch my itch, hehe
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hellotinyliving · 7 years ago
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Hey all!
Just wanted to share our GoFundMe Page with you! Erik and I are working tirelessly to try to save for our home! I work 40+ hours at my hotel and he works the same with the construction company he works for. On one of my days off each week I work as a personal housekeeper for a family in our area. We started the GoFundMe a long time ago, but we’re actually now using it as our wedding registry, bridal shower registry, and birthday gifts.
We are NOT using GoFundMe as our sole way to pay for our tiny. A couple of things we’ve done to help start saving:
The mint budgeting app is free and WONDERFUL. it really forces you to face your spending and acknowledge that there ARE things you can sacrifice. When I first started asking around about budgeting and saving money I was always really bothered by people who would say we have to “sacrifice our lifestyle” because I was so determined we had already sacrificed our extras. We hadn’t, and we’re still a work in progress. Step one: download mint, watch it for a month and be shocked at where your money goes.
We work extra. Plain and simple. I could have two days off a week, I choose to take one and work my extra day. I was professionally trained to clean so I use that to my advantage and turn it into another source of income! I leave my money from cleaning sit in my Venmo and then every three weeks I send it to Erik for our car insurance. We’re able to pay our insurance bill in full every month without touching our paychecks and that is a HUGE help! Find something you’re good at that can be profitable! Maybe not everyone loves cleaning like I do, but maybe you’re great at landscaping, detailing cars, etc.! If not, maybe you have time to pick up a second job. Two days is enough to get a part time job somewhere! In the hotel industry we like to say that if you put in the shitty hours and shifts while you’re young, you climb enough that eventually you have a consistent 9-5 M-F. That’s kind of the motto we work with. We work this hard now so we won’t have to later. Sacrifice now, so we won’t have to later.
I use direct deposit and my check gets split into 4 different bank accounts. Each account has its purpose, one of them doesn’t get touched. We just surpassed our first goal of 1,000 in my savings account! Each paycheck a fixed amount of money goes into that account and then no matter what happens we pretend it doesn’t exist! It’s slow and steady, but it’s working. Any bonuses I get at work or any extra money from rolling change or selling our personal items will go into this account as well.
About that account: it used to be our honeymoon fund. We actually recently cancelled our honeymoon so we could use the money for our tiny house instead! We’ll be taking a modest camping/hiking honeymoon in Kentucky instead of flying to New Orleans and staying in hotels. Sacrifice now so you don’t have to later!
We’re buried in debt. Student loan debt, medical debt, credit card debt (from a younger and more irresponsible time). That's why this house is so important to us, we don't want to be in debt forever and we don't like being in debt right now! Once we crawl out it's the end of being buried in debt for us!
Lastly, we have been gifted books and dvds by Dave Ramsey and we are getting ready to take ourselves to the next level with his program! We’re super excited to get started!
If you have any savings questions or even advice, feel free to pop in and say hi!
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wanderingaunt · 4 years ago
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A Brief History of Transformation
How often do you reflect on your journey and how far you’ve come?
Lately, it seems like experiences from my past are resurfacing. I’m back to living with my sister and her family after 3-4 years of living in other places. I’m back in Dallas where I left 2 years ago while starting my nomadic journey. I’ve reconnected with relationships in my life that took various turns in the past. I said ‘Yes’ to a retreat not knowing where the money is going to come, and trusting that it will.
While these experiences feel the same, they’re different because I’m not the same person I was 5, 3, or even 1 year ago.
I used to think that a year was a long time. I remember when I was interviewing for jobs post college, I got offered a job working in PR for Dave Ramsey. They wanted a minimum of a 2-year commitment. All the “what ifs” popped into my mind. I was afraid to commit and thought I’d be trapped if something better came along. So, I turned it down and accepted a job at my apartment leasing office (not knowing I would be there for 11 years).  
When I started my career, I stayed because it was safe and comfortable. I was afraid to ask myself what I really wanted. I was afraid that if I really listened, I would find out that it wasn’t attainable for me. So, I stayed. I pushed my dreams aside and waited for someone or something to come along and rescue me. And guess what? No one came.
It wasn’t until I said ‘Yes’ to transformation and trusting in divine timing that things began to change.
With all of the familiar feelings and experiencing resurfacing lately, I’ve taken the time to reflect on how far I’ve come. It can be easy to forget sometimes. Past experiences can resurface, and we can box ourselves into thinking that we’ll be back to where we were. When I reflect on my journey over the past 5 years, I am present to all that has taken place to get me to where I am today, and where I’m going.
2015
I was depressed and feeling like I’d never seen the light. I sought therapy and slowly began taking steps towards healing. I enrolled in a seminar on Living a Life of Velocity at Landmark Worldwide. I modeled in my first transformational photoshoot with Ashlie Woods which opened my eyes and heart to my own beauty.
2016
I continued participating in seminars with Landmark. I attended my first Wildhearted Retreat with Ashlie Woods in Austin, TX. This retreat started my journey and practice of meditation and learning to tune inward.
2017
I dubbed this as the Year of Action. I joined CorePower Yoga and committed to nurturing my physical and mental health. I attended 200 yoga classes that year. I started my blog, Wandering Aunt. I attended my first international meditation retreat in Guatemala, where I met my soul sister, Brandan. It was on this retreat that I got clear that I was playing it safe in life and knew it was time to quit my corporate job and follow my dream of traveling the world. I enrolled in the Self Expression Leadership Program (SELP) with Landmark and was present to being a Leader (something I had given up on when I started college). I signed up for Yoga Teacher Training after the owner said she saw me as a teacher and believed in me. After 7 years of being in Dallas, I finally found my soul tribe who I’m still dear friends with to this day.
2018
I turned in my notice with my company of nearly 11 years. My incredible team was so supportive of me following my dream of traveling the world. I attended my 3rd Wildhearted Retreat in Mexico where I got clear that “I know what I want. I just don’t commit.” I committed to my dream and booked a one-way ticket to Australia. I said goodbye to my first solo apartment, sold my furniture and many belongings. I sold my car to support my nomadic life. I said goodbye to my secure life and set off to Australia on a one-way ticket with one month’s pay, a quarter of my bonus, and only $500 in savings. I spent the next 8 months traveling across 11 countries on 5 continents. I began modeling in photoshoots (Mexico, Colombia, Argentina) for my own self-expression and mission to support local photographers, designers, and stylists. I also attended World Domination Summit for the first time and found a tribe of people like me who are living unconventional lives. I attended my 4th Wildhearted Retreat in Peru and got to visit Manchu Pichu. I began a coaching journey with Allison Field.
2019
After cashing in my 401k at the end of 2018, I knew it was time to start creating new streams of income. I began freelance writing and started Wandering Aunt Travels to support others in designing the trip of their dreams. After receiving a clear sign, I took a big leap and signed up for a yearlong coaching program with Darla LeDoux and Julie Flippin of Sourced. I put my worth to the test and invested in myself and my future. It was during this program that I discovered being an Intuitive and learned to let go of conditioning and outdated beliefs. I continued to travel the world and model in photoshoots in Paris, Minneapolis, Spain, Morocco, & New Zealand. I spoke onstage at my first international conference at 7in7 in New Zealand—a dream come true! While modeling in a photoshoot in Morocco, I found love and began dating a wonderful man. It was the first committed relationship I had allowed in my life since high school.  
2020
I rang in the New Year in Tunisia with my boyfriend. When I returned to the states, I went on a solo retreat in Colorado where I got a clear message to end this relationship and focus on my relationship to myself. Heartbroken, I listened to my inner guidance and trusted that it was for the best. I thought my heart was going to burst from sadness. I worked with Leslie Boren to document my sadness and pain through a vulnerability photoshoot which brought great healing. The following week, COVID hit and I found myself grounded with my sister and her family in Dallas. My travel design business came to a halt. I tuned inward and began showing up for myself in ways I haven’t before. I created boundaries in my life and chose Me for the first time. I became a recovering people pleaser.
I deepened my meditation practice and learned more about my intuitive gifts. I started offering Intuitive sessions to support others in being seen through clarity and connection. I completed my yearlong coaching program and became a Certified Retreat Leader. It was at the end of this program where I was confronted with my biggest fear—Asking. I realized that I don’t ask for support and have lived under the agreement that “I must do it all on my own”. I had no idea this one area would control so much of my life. At the end of June, I returned to Colorado. While climbing Mt. Garfield in Colorado, I realized that I thrive off challenges. The question “What is My Mountain?” came to me. I got the clear message: Write 30 blogs in 30 days. After completing the blog challenge, I was chosen to write a chapter in an anthology on transformation called Transformation 2020. The blog challenge also provided clarity for what I’m writing in my first book (coming 2021).
Each person’s journey of transformation looks different. The key is to own your journey and your pace, and most importantly trust.
Transformation is a journey. It’s not a one-time fix. It takes practice and showing up again and again. It takes learning to be comfortable with the uncomfortable. It takes leaning into the pain, the uncertainty, the curiosity. It takes saying ‘Yes’ to your desires and doing the work to bring them to life. My journey is not your journey. I honestly don’t know many people (or anyone really) who would follow my exact path. Why? Because it’s my path. I had to learn things the way that I learned them. I have wanted to quit many times. I’ve been tempted to go back to a steady job, but the deep knowing within me says to keep going, to keep believing, to keep trusting, to keep taking action.
Trust in divine timing and trust that you are on the right path.
The moment you feel like you’re off track, stop and ask for guidance. Ask your Spiritual Guides, a trusted coach or mentor, or find an Oracle to guide you in discovering the answer to your question. Know that you don’t have to do it all alone. You can receive support the moment you ask. I certainly would not be where I am today without my amazing army of support.
2020 has been asking a lot of me—to slow down, tune in, set boundaries, own my intuitive gifts, claim myself as an Oracle, focus on my business and how to best serve others using my gifts, write & share my voice, Ask for what I want, need, and desire, and trust like I’ve never trusted before. I’m learning to receive support, answers, and even money (still learning this one).
I’m retiring my belief that I have to do it on my own, and could use your support in doing so.
Yesterday I said ‘YES’ to a plant-based medicine retreat in the Andes Mountains in Ecuador. I’ve been receiving visions of being on this retreat for about 4 months now. I kept brushing it off, and it kept coming back. I even said ‘Yes’ to this retreat in July and then I got scared, and backed out. I was afraid that I wouldn’t earn the money to pay for this retreat and invest in my growth. I thought this time, I was supposed to say ‘No’. I thought it wasn’t the right timing for me to be on this retreat so I ignored the calling. A couple of weeks ago, I saw that the retreat was happening. Ecuador re-opened its borders and lifted the 14-day quarantine. I tuned in and once again, got a clear ‘Yes’ that I was meant to be on this retreat. I committed to going on this retreat, and I can already feel a shift. I have no idea why I’m being called to be on this retreat, and I’m trusting that it’s for my highest good and the highest good of all.
The moment you say ‘Yes’ to what you’re meant to be doing, magic happens.
While life comes full circle, I believe that this time is different. This isn’t any retreat or getaway. This is the retreat that is causing me to step up to the playing field on a whole new level than I have before. It’s causing me to move through my fear of asking, and Ask for support. And ask for you to trust me and my continued growth.
How Can You Support?
The biggest support I could use right now is financial support through donations, booking one of my services, or sending me referrals.
Invest in my transformation and growth by donating to support the cost of this journey. Any donation large or small will make a difference in making this journey possible. Donate here. If you’re not on Facebook, and would like to support, you can also donate via PayPal.
Book an Intuitive Session. Whether you’re looking for 1-on-1 support or wish to connect with your tribe on a deeper level, I have options to serve where you are right now.
Deep Clarity Session - 90-minute 1-on-1 session to support you in gaining clarity in an area of life important to you.
Girl’s Night Inward - Gather your tribe for an Oracle Party! These evenings are a fun way to connect with your tribe on a deeper level.
Spend a VIP Day with me. If you’re looking for a deeper dive and are ready to invest in yourself on an more intimate level, schedule a call to learn how a VIP day could move you forward in being seen, and owning and claiming who you are and what you desire. VIP days are customized to serve where you are right now. Schedule a 15-minute Curiosity Call here.
Reveal Your Soul through a transformational photoshoot experience. Whether in person or remote, I will support you in designing the photoshoot of your dreams. Get ready to be seen in a whole new light. Learn more here.
I’m grateful for you, your support, and your belief in me.
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catastrothicc · 7 years ago
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one of these days i'll make a coherent intro post, however *bts vc* not today !!  hello and welcome to johnny's world where we're shit @ introductions and even worse at consistency. honestly i cant stick to shit someone assist. anyways ! i bring the last piece of the puzzle rocky, who for some unfathomable reason wasn't taken ?? and i cried ?? fate. uh right i'm 19 and i never fkcing learned how to read. mdt timezone. them/they pronouns. continue under the read more to kill some brain cells !! 
tw: physical and mental abuse/manipulation, drugs/alcohol and death/murder. 
here's his soundtrack if u wanna listen while u read 
DON'T DWELL ON THE PAST // ( i'm not even sure if i'm sticking to this [ looks @ admins nervously ] so things might change up if it doesn't fall w/ the right timeline. ) ( forgive the length the muse is real )
born on october 31st, 1995 ( happy halloween ) in deadtree, rocky was an entirely healthy baby received with much love by his mother and with some hesitance by his father. all he knew was how to shit and cry and life was a paradise, until eventually the months started rolling by that became three years and his mother was in a freak car accident that left her paralyzed from the waist down and with a bad case of major head trauma. 
rocky still firmly believes that she woke up from her coma by god's will even if her basic executive function skills and self-regulations were gone. she had to be taken care of just like him, and the doctor's promised she'd learn to eat on her own again and her speech problems would regulate. this... did not happen. maybe it would've, if she had lived longer, but rocky never got to see the day when he didn't have to help his mom bathe or brush her hair. 
his dad was the only source of income in the household besides his mom's monthly pension that the man would take and then disappear for days. he was bitter about having to raise rocky all on his own and even more bitter about the hefty hospital bills they were going to be paying off for the next several years. all the man wanted to do was laze about with a beer in his hand and a blunt in the other. 
from early on he was prone to anger and it often manifested itself physically, so rocky would always have a bruise or two somewhere on his body. it was fine as long as the man wasn't hurting his mom, and he couldn't do anything else but accept the rough treatment. 
he and his mom were becoming more and more neglected by his father, who only provided the bare minimum to eat and took his wife's pills for himself. rocky was already in school and he was that kid who always got off the bus running to get home. no one knew that he always ran to make sure his mom was okay while he was gone. 
he was nine years old when his dad handed him a bottle of morphine and explained to him that the whole bottle would help his mom get a good night's sleep for once. rocky, knowing how much his mom struggled to rest, took the bottle and put each and every pill in his moms hand and watched her drink them until the last one. she did go to sleep, of course. rocky thought he'd done good until she didn't wake up the next morning. 
he grew incredibly distant from his dad after this. he was already used to taking care of himself and his mom was the only reason he really bothered to make it home early, so after her death he got into every after-school activity he could manage, and when it wasn't enough, he ran around the streets with the older kids and pretended to be *cool*.
he started dabbling with the drug scene really early on in middle school, when he realized that his dad would never strive to be anything else but a piece of shit, so he decided to steal his pills and weed just like the man had stolen his mothers medication. he would sell them to his upperclassmen and never took any for himself because he saw what they could do, though eventually he did weed in high school and besides the occasional dose of ecstasy he doesn't do more than that.
one day, at age seventeen, he went home and his dad was gone. he waited for three weeks before he sold everything and fixed up a small abandoned house that became his new abode. with the cash he'd gotten from the car and the furniture he began growing his own hella dank nug, and eventually there was word on the streets about it. his dad had always been his unaware provider, but soon enough rocky joined a group as a dealer while selling his own stuff on the side.
he didn't want to follow under someone else so he got to the roots and offered the group's providers a better deal and eventually the business was going to him alone. people saw more opportunity with him and they flocked to his side one by one until he ran the original leader to the ground. honestly this kid was hella good in school and just as good in the streets. 
of course it didn't happen without a fight tho so talk about several near-death experiences !! the streets are dangerous children stay in school.
fast forward, he had what he intensely regrets with elaine-- honestly had a good time dating a rich ‘good’ girl until he got real bad vibes from her and it wasn't chill anymore. felt real personally attacked that she was ashamed of him and broke it tf off. fuck a fake bitch !! 
( me: plays hero by enrique iglesias for this section ) and then shiloh came ! his lord and savior. his fkcing BAE. would do ANYTHING for this boy is2g makes me so emo i'm shAKING just thinking about it. rocky truly believes this boy is his soul mate. he loves him so much oh my godfjsdh.
at this point his drug ring wasn't at all what it is now. it was relatively small and the profits weren't all that good but he was doing what he could. he had steady members who had been with him since the start and shiloh became an addition along with his best girl giselle and (eventually) barbara. honestly the dream squad nothing could stop them they were invisible. unfortunately there was a snake in their ranks and goddamn he's glad she showed herself honestly good fucking riddance barbie. he felt real betrayed after she left but if anything he thinks it made his crew tighter and stronger. still hates tht bitch tho afTER EVERYTGIH HE DID FOR HER.
( to be 10/10 honest tho rocky is a manipulative bastard and he thinks he's real slick but barbie caught on and he feels extremely attackt )
anyways so knowing that shiloh and giselle are his tru ride or die pals ( 👀 @ giselle ) the business continues and they're still the dream squad. sure they're doing shady af things and they've always been doing them but u kno what they say there ain't no rest for the wicked !! 
he didn't at all like the fact tht shiloh pursued an internship w/ the mulani family but he tried to keep it chill because he loves and supports his bae but honestly could not do it. he doesn't personally pay too many visits to sycamore city precisely bc he goddamn loathes the mulani and moon families after all they've done to his people ( esp the moon’s ) and to think shiloh was getting involved w/ them really tested him as a person. he fcking failed because of how much shiloh wanted a pass into the city and rocky held him back but he's so goddamn proud of their love like damn. he knows he doesn't offer everything shiloh wants but he's out here tryin' his best to get his bae the life he deserves even if he's the worst street rat and everybody knows it. 
( what is he secretly doing w/ all tht money tho hmmm ) 
BABY RIDE WITH ME // in regards to the *gollum vc*  precious ( the ring )
just so the squad and ex-squad can get a feel of how rocky runs the ring i'm includin' this here
so rocky makes it a point to be an approachable leader whom you can go to with your problems and he'll have your back 100%. honestly everyone's dad there's no one left out. he keeps his status as the leader not by cruel acts to show what happens to rats but by making sure he's understood by each individual member. he's not the violent type at all unless someone really tests him but this guy preaches that people understand by words and acts of kindness not by violence and torture. he needs loyalty above all else so he offers a safe sanctuary to anyone who needs it. it comes with a price ofc but all he asks is that u do ur job and he'll keep u off the streets. basically in his group everyone has each other's backs and he's involved with everyone, not only because it helps him keep close tabs on everything but because that blanket of safety for his members is very important to him. 
when it comes to his dealers he basically lets them do things their own way as long as they're not out there hurting innocent people. he pays by commission so it's really up to the dealers how much they wanna sell and who they wanna sell it to. he doesn't force his own morals onto his peeps so if they wanna sell to junkies who are gonna overdose on their next hit then that's really up to them. he just tries to guide them by telling em' the right things to do even in a shady business like their own. 
w/ that being said shiloh is also a huge part of it, being his right hand man and all. rocky isn't all too meticulous or anything fancy like that, so he leaves a lot of decisions up to shiloh and honestly they're both huge dads just running a drug ring fjsiudhfgi 
HE KNOWS HE'S SO FUCKING TALENTED // regarding his personality 
rocky is a cocky piece of shit honestly i hate it but best concept
he genuinely thinks so highly of himself ?? even though he knows he's up to Some Shit ??
anyways i just wanted to mention that LMAO but find his full list of attributes here that i jst ctrl c ctrl v from the app. honestly will tell u all about his personality. thanks for reading this long ass, terribly structured, shitty shitty intro honestly u.... deserve a medal if u got thru it. is it too late to mention tht english is not my first language fhsuidfh 
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rdpshop · 5 years ago
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How To Set Up A Budget And Save
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Setting up a budget can be a bit challenging, but realize, anyone can do it. Learn how to set up a budget and start saving money, and start buying those things you've always wanted. Once you get your budget created it will all start to make sense on how you can start spending money on things you want instead of only buying what you need. When people think about a budget, they usually relate it to just paying bills on time, or just tracking an expense that you can adjust for savings. But did you know, the whole point of budgeting is to spend money on what you want. That might sound backwards but that is why you have a budget. So let's look into how to set up a budget. First we will go over the basics, then we will look at easier ways to creating a budget that won't seem so technical or overwhelming.
Know Your Income
In order to set up a budget, you have to know what your income is. It's all really easy addition and subtraction, but when you look at it as your livelihood, then it seems to be a little more complicated. If you have a normal consistent income, setting up a budget isn't that hard. Knowing how to set up a budget when you have a variable income can be difficult. Let's say your income is normal and steady, then this isn't bad at all. A normal income would even include more than one job or source of income. You would just add your monthly incomes, after taxes and or any deductions, and that would be the start of your budget. You also include your spouse, or significant other, or any other contributors that are living under one roof. Don't include anyone that is on a temporary stay. Variable Income Knowing how to set up a budget on a variable income will require averaging your income sources and setting goals. People that are in sales, or have their own businesses, don't always bring in the same monthly income. So in this situation, you have to set a goal that you can align a realistic monthly figure. Let's say you sale hot dogs on a corner of a busy street. You know if you sold 50 hotdogs through the whole day at $1.40 each, you would make $70 a day. You know that is a low projection of the amount you can really sell. There have been days you have sold close to 200 hotdogs, but there were rare days you only sold 40. It would be safe to say you are always going to bring home $70 a day, so you can use that as a constant in your budget. Any extra money can go towards months that weren't so good and towards your savings. After time, you will will have an average of what you make per month based on how many hotdogs you're selling. If you had more than one location, you would need to average all of them combined to give yourself a consistent income to set up your budget. Just remember, no matter the type of income you have, your goal should always be to save at least 10% to go into savings.
Listing Your Expenses
You will have two kinds of expenses, Fixed and Variable. Fixed expenses are your bills, or what you pay out, that don't change from month to month. This would be things like, mortgage, rent, insurances, and types of loans, or services. Variable expenses will be things like your automotive fuel, electric, water, food, or any type of bill that isn't a static amount every month. Fixed Expenses You will want to make a list of all your fixed expenses, for example: Mortgage/Rent, Cable, Car Insurance, Trash Pickup. Calculating these will be pretty easy since the amounts rarely change. It would be a good idea to include your savings as an expense as well. I know that sounds funny but in order to make a good budget, you should at least add 10% of you income as a payment towards yourself. Part of knowing how to set up a budget, is understanding that the goal is to get yourself into a position to buy things you want. So include in your fixed expenses, an amount you want to save each month. Usually you want it to be 10% of your income but that can vary based on your situation. The water and electric bill can be included under a fixed expense. However, that also depends how steady or how you have your services set up. Some utility companies have a balance pay plan, also known as a Budget-Billing Plan. This is where they average your bill over a year period and charge you the same amount each month. If you have a larger family, the utility bills will fluctuate enough that it may fall under a variable expense. Variable Expenses Variable expense are those that you have control over. Rent, car payments and such are fixed and the cost is determined by the supplier. Your variable expenses can be reduced by you. For example, if you like to take an hour long shower twice a day, you can reduce your water bill by cutting the shower time back. Any expense that is effected by you, is variable. It is in this area you can start managing your budget. Make a list of all your variable expenses, such as fuel for the car, groceries, eating out, apparel, or entertainment. Electric, gas and water can be included in variables, if your utility bills fluctuate. You will be able to see where you can start making cut backs to increase your savings. Read more on "Tips On How To Save Money". Your utilities could be a variable that you don't have much control over depending on the area you live in. If you live in an area where the temperatures have extreme variances, this will make setting up a budget a little harder. However, I would suggest taking a total of what you spend per year on your utilities and get an average based on 12 months. This will at least give you a fixed number to work with.
How To Set Up A Budget On A Sheet
It is really common for people to use a spreadsheet for budgeting or many other financial or mathematical calculations. However you can just as easily use pencil, paper and calculator. Spreadsheets just seem to give a certain visualization when it comes to setting up a budget. Below are screen-shots of a very basic budget, done in an Excel spreadsheet. You can also watch the video of me running through the same steps.   If you don't have Excel, you can use for FREE, Google Sheets. There is also budgeting you can use, that actually works much better than just using Excel. Setting Up Your Spreadsheet Open up a spreadsheet and make the following headings. Expense Name, Due Date, Total Balance and Monthly Payment. Your Due Date doesn't need to be a full date, just make it the day of the month. If a bill is due on the 4th of each month, then just enter "4th" in the field.
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Next you will want to enter your expenses under the "Expense Name" column. To make it easier for you to track your expenses, you can color code them. You can see in this example below, that Fixed, Variable and Credit Cards have been highlighted in colors. This is not necessary but it does help.
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You will now want to add a title field to the left and title it, "Total". In the same row and directly under the last entry in your "Monthly Payment" column, select the field as shown below. We are going to make this the sum of all the "Monthly Payments'.
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There are several ways to create a sun in a field, this is just one of them. With your field selected, click on the Function icon to the left side of the formula bar. An "Insert Function" window will open. Select "SUM" and click on OK.
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Highlight all the cells with a monthly payment in them and again click OK.
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Now your "Total" field has a sum of all you monthly payments. This is what you are paying out each month.
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In the row directly underneath "Total", create a Title called, "Monthly Income". In the Cell directly below the actual "Monthly Total", enter your exact monthly take-home income. This would be what you bring home after taxes, with-holdings and any benefits. Drop down a couple of rows and in the "Expense Name" column, create a title called "Net". In the same row, under your "Monthly Income" value, click on that cell. In the selected cell, type an "=" sign in the field. Then select the cell with your monthly income value.
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Then type the "minus" symbol. Click on the cell above "Monthly Income", this would be the cell with your "Monthly Total" in it. Now press the enter key, you have just said, "Monthly Income", subtract "Monthly Payment Total".
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In this example you can see that you have $954.67 left over each month based of these expenses. Now that your savings have been identified, you can now decide how much savings you would like to enter in the "Savings" payment. This is usually 10% of your income. In this scenario, this person's income is $32,000 a year, so 10% of that is $3200, divide by 12 months, makes it $267 a month.
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Examples On How To Set Up A Budget Video
  Summary
As you can see in the above examples, you can start identifying expenses. For example, "Savings". If you noticed, I didn't include a value for savings in my budget set up. The reason is because at that point, I didn't know if I would have any money left over for savings. My goal for the savings expense value, was to at least have 10% of my take-home income. Now, I can see that I have more than my 10%, so now I can use that money to start paying off debts. Notice the credit card balances, now I know I can start increasing monthly payments to get these paid off and still keep my 10% towards savings. 50/30/20 System There is the 50/30/20 System you can use as a guide. This isn't the always the best method to use, but it does work for people that don't have the time or patients to track every expense detail or set up a budget. This system means, you spend 50% of your net income on bills, 30% on wants, and 20% on savings or paying off debt. The system allows you to focus more on the big picture, and really, if you do not have many monthly expenses, this can work quite well. However if you have a goo list of monthly expenses, I highly recommend keeping a more detailed budget. The drawback to this 50/30/20 method is, you may not make enough money that 50% of your earning will cover all your bills. Yo may live in an area that the cost of living is high, and again, it is going to take more than 50% of your total monthly income to pay your bills. You can however, adjust the 30% and the 20% on wants and savings to go toward bills. Although then it starts confusion and more than likely constant adjustments. Budgeting Tips Variable Income If you work in some form of sales, or a job that you live more off tips, this means your income is not fixed. You should consider your income as variable and this is where you will need to start making averages. A budget is very useful for this type situation. It identifies what your income has to be to pay bills and have savings. Averaging your income works best if you can get at least six months of numbers to work with. Average what you made, at least over the past six months, and then reduce the amount between 5% to 10%. By doing this, you are working on a minimum income and this will reduce risk of not being able to pay a bill in the future. Credit Cards Once your budget has been created, it will help you identify expenses that may need to be cleaned up. Credit Cards are the biggest among them all. Credit Card balances will be exposed and since they charge interest, these need to be reduced as soon as possible. As long as you pay the minimum amount, the balance will never go down, in fact, it will keep rising even if you are no longer charging on them. Savings Expense In the above example, you saw that there was way more than 10% of savings for each month. As I have mentioned, the savings expense should be at least 10% of you net income. If your situation is similar to the above example, you may be tempted to spend all of that monthly savings on paying off your credit cards, but don't. Still take out the 10% of your earnings as an expense and enter that in your Savings field for the following months. The savings expense is money put back so that you can buy what you want. But keep in mind, there are always emergency expenses. Things break and have to be fixed or replaced, so use this money for a cushion as well. I do recommend getting those credit card balances paid off as quick as you can, but never put yourself in a situation where you have no savings. All good things take time, be patient.
In Conclusion
No matter how much your income is, having a detailed budget is the best plan on saving money and buying the things you want. The whole goal to a budget is to put yourself in a position to where you can start buying the things you want. I know it takes time and some thought to sit down and work out a budget but in the end, you will be glad you did. Even in the above example, I was just throwing numbers right out of my head without knowing what the outcome would be. And as you can see, it turned up a good amount of savings each month. It then made those credit card bills stick out just screaming, "Pay Me Off"!!!. As mentioned above, you do not have to use a spreadsheet, you can simply just write this down on paper. I do however highly recommend a spreadsheet or using a budgeting software. Software's have more technology behind them with systems built in them to do more than just put numbers on a page. Usually they ask for more information than you may thing to enter on a sheet. Something to consider, but it does depend on your situation and how tight of an income you live on.   Site Index Read the full article
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