#once again the dw fandom is Terrible

[ssaalexblake]

on behalf of all the people who didn't realise they weren't straight until their early 20's (even despite how obvious it may be in hindsight) i wish a very happy Fuck You to all the self absorbed assholes saying Yaz's arc is bad or lacks agency or sucks as gay rep Because she didn't know this till she was 20ish and didn't admit it to herself until EOTD, like honestly, at this point go take a long walk off a short pier.

The people who didn't ~see~ thasmin before it was verbally recognised are merely irritating and exhibiting heterosexual blindness, You lot are out there insulting the experiences of many very Real people because it's not good enough for you.

Literally. What you're peddling is SO awful and said with the assumed moral high ground, and all i have to offer you is one huge 'ew' at that terrible behaviour.

Look, this is not actually about Yaz, but lol, Yaz was a bullied teenager on the verge of or actively suicidal, she is not shown to have One friend and her family are actively shocked she's taken friends home in arachnids because Yaz doesn't Have friends. That Yaz did not immediately clock she was into Thirteen and thought they were just good mates actually makes perfect sense bc she doesn't know what #besties feels like to differentiate the two things. Is that depressing? yeah, but the point is yaz built herself up into the person she is in tpotd in a coming of age type story, she Does have support and friends at the end, she Does know her sexuality better by the end, she Has achieved what she wanted in being able to help people. She grew and learnt! Good for her.

It's also like, personally think that it's a more valid interpretation of the show to say that Yaz was troubled and didn't want to admit this to herself before eotd because of 13's avoidance and behaviour, rather than anything else going on. Yaz is never shown to be repressing this because of the gayness, she's worried because 13 is squirrely and they fight so much and 13 Still doesn't open up to her.

Mostly, in the end, idgaf what you think of Yaz's arc but if it's related to one type of person's discovery of their sexuality being Better than another then honestly, you need to not subject other people to your 'takes', because all you're being is cruel and you don't even have the self awareness to realise.

Watch your damn words. I don't care if somebody realised they're not straight/not cis/not whatever when they're 99 years old. To use an internet cliche, that is Perfectly Valid and a story worth telling in any kind of media out there. If you want to watch the story of a queer character in dw very secure abt their sexuality and Not on a voyage of self discovery/coming of age narrative that happens to include that Discovery, go and watch Bill's episodes and stop saying shitty things about real people not being good enough for you.

[i-still-got-love-for-you]

Sparks Fly

Jason Grace x gn!reader

545 words

cw: this is literlly just fluff, im 95% sure its completely gender neutral, potential verb tense errors but those might just bother me, dont know if this is a blurb or a drabble

a/n: hello! breaking the posting schedule to bring you the first written fic i've made for any fandom other than tvd. i would love to hear some feedback! dw, i WILL post on thursday, just wanted to kick off october with some fluff!

“There you are!”

The sound of his voice startled you, making you whip your head around to see him. Jason’s shirt was off, his bare chest glistening with sweat. He was slightly out of breath and hunched over his knees with effort.

“Here I am,” you replied, a small smile overtaking your mouth. You scooted to the right, making room for him on the pier. You’d been there since lunch. You had always preferred the view of the ocean to your cabin's activities.

Sitting down, Jason took his glasses out of a pocket in his shorts and put them back on. “Percy was actually hard to fight today. I almost thought it’d end in a draw.”

His sarcasm made you giggle, and he smiled, and you wished you could take a picture. His dimples were the most adorable things in the world, and his smile was so genuine. The fact that he had glasses on did not help your crush on the boy.

“How terrible that would have been. You would have disgraced your cabin,” you teased. Jason laughed at that, and your heart almost stopped. Your cheeks were surely pink now, and you hoped he assumed you were sunburned.

“What have you been doing?” he asked.

You shrugged, “Nothing of note. Just sitting here and looking at the water.” It brought you peace to close your eyes and listen to the ambiance.

“Sounds nice.” A comfortable silence fell over you two, and you inched your hand closer to his with every passing second.

When skin met skin, a thousand volts of electricity swept through your entire body. Your head turned to him, and found he was already looking at you.

Your gaze moved from his eyes to his lips, subconsciously moving closer to him. Then, your lips touched, and you were on cloud nine.

You closed your eyes as you leaned into the kiss, blood pounding in your veins as Jason kissed you back. It was all consuming, the only thing your brain could focus on was Jason’s lips on yours.

Reluctantly, Jason broke away from the kiss, breathing heavy. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know if you’d want to kiss me back-” You quickly shut him up by grabbing face and pulling towards yours.

Your hands ventured around his body, moving from his face, to his shoulders. They finally rested on his chest, relishing in the skin to skin contact. His wrapped his around the small of your back and pushed you closer to him, as if there was any room left.

The kiss broke once again, this time initiated by you to get some air. When you leaned back, you could see sparks igniting around Jason's head. He noticed them immediately, blushing and bowing his head. "I do that when I get excited, sorry," he mumbled.

"Don't be sorry," you giggled, "It's kinda cute. Makes me think of a Taylor Swift song."

"What? Electric Touch? Call It What You Want?" he guessed. "Wait, maybe I'm your Superman?"

You giggled again, "No, not any of those. Sparks Fly. How do you know those other ones?"

"It might sound creepy, but I always listen to what you say." And with that, you bring him in for another kiss.

[penny-anna]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

oof only 5 okay!!

i was gonna do 1 per fandom but then i realised that came to 6 so screw it u get 6:

The Engraving (BBC Merlin)

Arthur had somehow got into a situation wherein he had to bugger the man who was – let’s face it – the closest thing he had to a best friend, and unless luck was very much on his side things were going to be awkward forever. Camelot has been stricken by a terrible drought! Fortunately, Merlin has found a magical ritual that can bring back the rain. Unfortunately, it requires group sex - and Merlin is a virgin.

this was one of the last merlin fics i wrote n its a very stupid and silly and fluffy gangbang. really enjoyed writing the 'everyone lives happily ever after' AU on this one. very fun :)

Golden (Doctor Who)

Good gracious, it had been so long since he’d been seduced. He’d forgotten what a delectable experience it was. After an exhausting run-in with the local monsters, the Doctor takes Jamie to a hot spring to relax.

THIS IS ANOTHER SMUT. SORRY. very honest answer here. this is my dw piece i go back to most often. love the atmosphere of it.

And I'll shiver like I used to (LOTR)

He could taste it on his tongue, the salty tang of the sea, fresher and somehow saltier than the sea he knew. He could feel the sand, soft and light underfoot, warm from the sun. 'Sam,' the voice had said, saying his name so tenderly, so carefully, as if it were something precious, something to be treasured. 'Oh, Sam. I’ll wait for you.' Samwise Mason is a junior member of the Stonemason's Guild of Haven City; he works hard, but doesn't stand out. He dreams, again and again, of a beach with white sand and a kiss goodbye. Samwise Mason is making a statue.

tough call here but im still so pleased with this one i worked so so hard and i think it's the most romantic thing i've ever written

Constellations (The Witcher)

"I know how soulmarks work. If a person has two names writ upon them by destiny, then one is to guide them to their true love and the other to their worst enemy. Everyone knows that." / "That’s an old wives’ tale." When Jaskier was fourteen, two names appeared on his skin: 'Geralt' and 'Yennefer'.

VERY tough call here as i wrote a lot of witcher fics i still love but hand on heart this is the one i most enjoyed writing. blasted it out in like a week iirc. great stuff.

the world won't wait till you're older (DCU/Shazam)

Shazam didn’t understand how taxes worked. He always seemed kind of lost when they talked politics. Wally often had the sense that he was nodding along with things he didn’t really understand. He knew what vaping was. Inexplicably he knew what TikTok was. Weird guy. The Justice League try to adjust to their newest member. They know he's hiding something from them, but in their line of work everyone has secrets. Shazam's no different. Is he? Or, the Justice League accidentally inducts a child and then deals with the fall-out.

obvious choice haha!! my most popular DCU fic!! its a banger i hope to match it one day

time to time (Back to the Future)

“Will you shut your damn mouth and listen to me?” his other self hisses. He gulps in a breath, and breathes out; then, resolved, he does his best to shake his head. “No,” he says. “Whatever you have to say, I won’t hear it – having any knowledge of my relative future could –” His other self claps a hand, hard, over his mouth. His palm is damp. Clammy. Emmett makes a protesting sound against it but before he can wriggle free, the other him speaks. “Marty dies.” A cloud passes over the sun. The Brown family are on vacation, taking a break from the stresses of 1986. It's a beautiful summer day. What could possibly go wrong?

hnghh got a lot of bttf fics i love but this one remains the stand out for me. obsessed honestly.

thank u!! i'm not going to send asks bcos im lazy but for once i will tag some people uhh ok @uighean @limerental @bg-sparrow @megamindsupremacy @wromwood

[elialys]

20 questions for fic writers

I was tagged by @ceruleanphoenix7. I'm tagging: @melusine0811 @lastbluetardis and @oliviassunrise. No obligation to complete this of course, only if you want to! I'm terrible at tagging, so anyone can do this really 😅

(These answers are a bit skewed because it doesn't take into account the ~90 fics I posted on ffnet since 2004, and there are a couple fics on AO3 I've 'hidden' in private collections)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

61

2. What's your total A03 word count?

1,064,298 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Fringe (32)

Doctor Who (20)

Horizon Forbidden West (5)

The Newsreader (3)

The Last of Us (1)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

On the Wings of the Ten, Aloy/Kotallo, HFW (1,510 kudos)

Chasing the Aurora, Ten/Rose/Tentoo, DW (1,410 kudos)

Calluses, Tentoo/Rose, DW (1,341 kudos)

Across the Void, Ten/Rose, DW (933 kudos)

A Leap of Faith, Ten/Rose, DW (826 kudos)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always, to the best of my ability. Sometimes I respond literally 6 months to a year later, but I try my best to always do it. I love exchanging with my readers ❤️

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This one is tricky because I really try to end all of my stories on a hopeful note, if not a happy one. I'm going to go with In Reverse (Peter/Olivia, Fringe), though, because it's undoubtedly the saddest story I have ever written in 20 years, if only for the stillbirth in it. And although it doesn't end on a tragic note, it's extremely bittersweet.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Maybe Calluses? (Tentoo/Rose, DW) I feel this has the most blatant "they are so in love and hopeful for the future" ending in everything I've posted on AO3 😅

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have a few times through the years, people tearing down my writing style, accusing me of being too melodramatic (I wonder why 😂). Thankfully it's been very rare in two decades of fic writing. I did get a homophobic comment once because I wrote a minor female character having a wife.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do. I like to say the 'E' in my E rated stories stands for "Emotional Smut" 🤣 I'm strongly on the ace spectrum, so my smut is extremely vanilla, heavily focused on feelings, with just enough description to know what's going on. I write love making and that's about it 😅

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I don't, although I remember being 15 and writing a Harry Potter and Buffy crossover in one of my notebooks xD

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not to my knowledge, although I accidently discovered 'sequels' to some of my fics, with entire sections copied/pasted of the original stories in the new ones. Although I was credited for writing the 'prequel', it's very strange to see whole chunks of my writing mixed with someone else's without me knowing anything about it.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

A few times, including in Chinese and Russian! The strangest thing to me is when someone translates one of my stories in French, considering it's my native tongue, and back in the days when my English still sucked a lot, I spent many hours translating my own fics from French to English.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Once. It was an interesting experience!

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Peter and Olivia. Of all the ships I've written for, I've written for them the most, and the longest. Writing them again this summer after a 6 year break was the most wonderful feeling 😭 I just feel like I know those two by heart, and writing their characters is just...comforting.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have so many WIPs right now 😭 I don't think I'll *ever* NOT finish them, considering I finished Shivered Bones this year after a 7 year hiatus, as I knew I would eventually, so I want to believe I will finish those WIPs I really love. On top of my list of WIPs I absolutely want to finish someday: Chasing the Aurora, These Lines Etched in Sand, On the Wings of the Ten

16. What are your writing strengths?

Feelings? I've been told my writing is 'immersive', and that I'm good at putting my readers into the characters' headspace and making them feel what they're feeling. I love writing introspection and exploring characters' motivations and progression, and I know I'm pretty good at it! I can also write an 'imagery-heavy' kind of prose that people seem to enjoy.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions of actual places 😂 Like, give me an emotion to describe or an abstract concept, and I will write 2,000 words without dialogue. But tell me "now you have to describe their PHYSICAL SURROUNDINGS" and I will cry and have to be dragged by force to my keyboard.

I also find dialogue-heavy scenes to be the trickiest to write. Not the dialogue itself, that usually flows out fine, but everything around it. If it's just dialogue lines, it reads so fast and...flat. What do I write around the speech lines to control the pacing of it? How do I make this 'dynamic' even though the characters are, let's say, trapped in an elevator, having a heart-to-heart, or sitting around a table (not to mention the many 'let's talk about our feelings while lying together in bed' scenes I've written 😅). How do I convey body language and tone of voice without repeating myself 500 times? Tricky but also rewarding when I tackle it haha

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If the character doesn't speak English in a fic written in English, absolutely? It's like watching a show/movie with characters in a non-english speaking country, yet everyone speaks English to each other in a thick accent, like, please don't 🥲

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I wrote my first fanfics at age 15, and it was all about Buffy and Spike 😅

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Asking me this is like asking me if I have a favorite child 😭

I think one I'm proudest of is The Horizon Hides in Vain (Ten/Rose, DW). I genuinely was in such a zone when I wrote it, and I think it's a nice example of my writing style, in terms of prose, characters and plot.

[leyyvi]

Are you ready for the ending? I want to know how you feel about this. Personally, I am not okay.

(dw i saw your other ask fkdjghdfgjk)

I'm so torn lol. Part of me is hyped purely to just have some content even if it's just for a bit. The other part of me remembers the shit that happened when the manga ended and I wonder if it'll repeat especially with the dudebro aot fans, hate them actually LOL (then again I no longer look at r*ddit) and I've already seen another influx of terrible aot takes specifically on the clock app but I'm trying to distance myself from that app anyway, now feels like the perfect time.

I guess another thing I think about is how annoyed I've been with how the final parts of AOT have been handled. I'm sure it's going to look gorgeous, but to me it feels like AOT has been a complete afterthought in favor of boosting JJK. Which I get it, JJK is MAPPA's real baby and money-maker, so of course they're going throw all their funding into that. It just sucks that it's ending with these extra long episodes instead of a regular season. Mostly because I wanted to live out the hype over weeks at a time instead of everyone exploding over it for a week and then it's just... done. I don't like this new trend of seeing everything all at once just to enjoy it for shorter periods of time. It doesn't feel satisfying to me at all. (Which reminds me of how Haikyuu ending is gonna be handled and UGH. HORRIBLE)

I'm also just sad because, in a way, aot ending almost feels like I'm saying goodbye to an entire decade of my teenage years/20s, it's really weird. I know the fandom will always be around, even when it's been slow to have new content provided for fans I've never had a problem finding a community here/on AO3/at conventions. But it does make me a little teary-eyed knowing we most likely won't get much new stuff (aside from the upcoming side story that was announced). To be honest, I loved the characters of AOT WAY MORE than the story itself and for me, I'm happy writing them into other universes, making new fanart of them, even if it's for a smaller and smaller community.

Anddddd the show ending more reminds me of a lot of people I knew who were into aot just...either not being around or moving onto other things. which is totally fine! it's bound to happen with all things, just a bit of a sad moment, you know?

but yeah gfjkfgjdh I don't really know my entire point but this has been what I've thought about recently with it all ending!

[misc-obeyme]

You can give me any nickname you like, I don't mind it dw.

I feel like a lot of Fandom characterization of Micheal comes with confusing him with Father and as much I want to blame them I can't really go all out tbh.

Because of the way the celestial realm is presented as well as Micheal's high position people obviously assume that he's in charge of everything and everyone there, even though I believe it's established that Father is in a higher position.

I think the entire Lilith thing was by Father because of how Micheal cares for Lucifer and his brothers, and after all his actions i can't see him as someone who'd create the punishment but I can see him as someone who would enforce it.

And I wonder how lenient Father is, Lilith stealing from the celestial realm as well as falling in love with a human is less dire than Michael potentially threatening a war to get his brothers back.

The more I think on his actions, the more he reminds me of an immature child. And even though I admit that he has some fault (or more depending on what you believe) but even then I can't help but blame Father imo.

What are your thoughts?

Okay as long as you don't mind being Michael anon lol!

And yes see I completely agree about Father. I was always under the impression that he was the one calling the shots and that Michael is more like his enforcer. I absolutely felt that way about Lilith, that it was Father's decision to punish her and that it was Father that Lucifer and his brothers rebelled against in response. If it had been Michael, I think he would be acting differently now. And maybe he would have followed Lucifer, too, but in the end he felt he couldn't for whatever reason. Maybe Father has more of a hold on him, in which case I think it would justify Michael's current actions a little more. In his mind, the Celestial Realm and Father are always right. And he's more in the mindset of trying to "save" his brothers by bringing them back into the fold.

The thing is we have even less info on this Father entity, but so far he seems pretty harsh considering what happened with Lilith. And I don't know if we're dealing with another Demon King situation... like maybe after the war, he went to sleep or otherwise became something of a recluse and just sorta left the Celestial Realm to Michael. If that's the case, that leaves Michael free to do stuff like threatening war with the Devildom. Because he knows Father isn't around to stop him. But if that's not the case and it was actually Father's suggestion to give them a pardon, then that changes things again.

I feel like we know very little about how the Celestial Realm is run in general. At least with the Devildom, we not only know that Diavolo is in charge, but he is actively existing in that role. Since the Demon King has checked out, Diavolo is the one running things. But we don't know who is actually running the Celestial Realm. Is it Father? Is it Michael?

It seems to me that we're getting the impression that Michael is more in charge than Father because Michael is the only one who has actually interacted with MC directly. We've only ever heard about Father from other characters. Never once has he stepped in or involved himself in any way (that we know of). So I think it's easy to consider him as more like the Demon King - we know he's around, but he's not actually doing anything. So I think that could be why people think Michael is the one running the show?

I could see it going either way, but at this point I think it makes more sense for Michael to be mostly following orders that he then dictates to the others. More like Father's mouthpiece, I guess. Because he does seem a little too silly to come up with terrible punishments himself, but he also seems completely convinced that the way things are done in the Celestial Realm is the correct way.

Any way you slice it, Father is a big part of this, even if he's not actively making appearances himself.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

FRR I guess it’s nice that they have side/npc characters non-npc looking designs LOL actually it’s kinda interesting because you rarely see these side side characters having unique designs

This is kinda stupid but it’s funny because I think hollyhock is also the only title that actually has the letter L in it LMAOO bfb….pursuit….I guess there’s one in Oliver if you expanded oaeu but anyways

AHAHAH nope it’s new!!! Or I just wiped it from my memory but I’m like 99.99% sure it’s new content she fr ATE LMAOO I just thought it was really unique but omg MICKEY MOUSE BULLYING SHSHSHSSH im crying that must’ve been so annoying though in middle school when kids are the most immature HAAHA im crying your username being built on mispronunciations of your name has me howling how many people still mispronounce it on a regular basis now omg also kinda funny story until sorta recently I never processed your username correctly and kept thinking it was mick3yb3rry instead of m1ckeyb3rry like for the life of me I could not remember if the first I or e got turned into a number LMAOO

Honestly I miss my jjk phase too those were some good times…first seeing the jjk0 movie too ugh but LMAOOO THE NANAMI EDIT I’m not 100% certain on the audio but it SOUNDS like all the other meme sonic the hedgehog audios I’ve heard so and FR I try to look for something and I see the unavailable icon in the approximate place a tiktok would’ve been and I’m like “there’s no way….theres no way it’s gone…..”

- Karasu anon

BROOOO I’M SO MAD I DIDN’T SEE THESE I’M SORRY SDKFJNDSL i was literally turning my horse out after our lesson and i hopped on tumblr while i was walking and i was like “huh karasu anon x jeirin wow that’s like the crossover of the century” but then i was like “wait i wonder if they responded to me i haven’t gotten a notification for it so i didn’t check but maybe they did while i was riding” but THEN i was like nah wait a second what if tumblr is fucking w me again…and then i checked my inbox and lo and behold SENT 18 HOURS AGO 😭 anyways…so that’s where i’ve been if you were wondering why i hadn’t responded yet

LMAOAO actually wait yeah that’s true of my long series it IS the only one that has an l even if you expand to other fandoms…ship in the harbor endure hurricanes/hummingbirds pomegranate ink a song for the drowned i don’t see a SINGLE l it’s just an otoya trademark!!! obviously if you include one shots there are more l’s (white butterfly and fwtkac off the top of my head) but those don’t count KSJDHFS

HAHAHA NOOO it wasn’t even bullying it was like my cute nickname!! like people used it endearingly not to be mean and when they sang the song it was mostly my friends just messing with me and making fun of the substitute so i have fond memories of it dw 🥹 but yeah LMAOAOAO my username is actually just my name irl but bastardized 😭 people usually do still mispronounce it if they first see it written down but it’s not terribly common!! it’s also not a really hard name to say once i correct them so it’s not a huge deal it just has a russian spelling (i’m not russian in the slightest so idk why i have a russian name but i do fsr) so people can get confused at first

IT DEF DOES SOUND LIKE SONIC and yeah agreed the jjk fandom in like the 2022 era specifically was sm fun to be in because it was big enough that plenty of creators were active but not so big that it was insane yk…that’s also when the story was at it’s peak so it was even more fun KSDHFSL hakari vs kashimo was such a fun time on jjk tik tok all of the theories and stuff were insane!! YESSS ME TOO it’s heartbreaking because i’m like i know i saved those edits for a reason…idk what the reason was but i know there was A reason and now i’ll never be able to rewatch them again 😓���

[dredgen-dumbass]

Redo of my pinned post, again, because I'm indecisive.

At a glance:

No screen name, he/him. Predominantly SFW blog, tws follow the normal content of Destiny 2. I swear like a sailor. Not the type for dni lists, just don't be a bigot. Asks are open to all. I don't mind mass likes/reblogs, and dw about derailing. The rest is under the cut.

rp blogs welcome to interact, considering making one myself

Message from yours truly,

I genuinely thought I was going to just spam Drifter content for a few days, and then go delete Tumblr again once my brain calmed down about it. As it turns out, that isn't happening. I like the community here so far, which isn't something I've been able to say about Tumblr for some time now, and it seems like I'm going to stick around a while longer. That, and I thought I was just fixated on the one character, but Destiny itself is becoming a pretty big interest of mine, and I know I'll need somewhere to talk about it, so this is going to shift more towards that. I'm going to try to be a bit more cautious with tags so I'm not filling them with every Destiny related through that crosses into my brain, so I'm going to set up an (albeit shoddy) tagging system and be a bit more conservative with what gets put in the main D2 tag. Apologies if I flooded anything you follow, I'm used to posting in a much larger fandom where things get buried really quick, I didn't realize how bad it was until I tried to go through those tags myself, and... eesh. (it’s been a few months, but I’m leaving this here. iykyk.)

So, me.

I know it's Tumblr culture to put every last detail in your bio, but personally I'm not comfortable with that. If you need more than I give, then just click off and move on. I understand wanting some idea of who you're talking to, but I think the things that matter will come up naturally through my posts. What I do think should be clarified, just as a matter of perspective with all the queer stuff in this fandom, is that I'm a gay dude. Other than that, I don't think any labels are relevant to this account. If something else becomes relevant, feel free to ask for clarification, I understand that some things read differently depending on who's saying them. Otherwise, respect my privacy, thanks.

side note that I’m throwing on here late, my memory is shit, if I send you duplicate asks etc. I’m sorry. it shouldn’t really matter elsewhere bc wonderful and terrible thing of the internet is that all it is logged— but I digress.

Fandom chaos & such,

I want to keep discourse away from my blog, both fandom and real-world. Especially real-world, because Destiny is an escape for me, and I want to keep this as a separate space I've carved for myself, in the same way as the game is for me. That said, bigots can fuck off to all hell. Y'all aren’t welcome here just because I'm not interacting with the arguments. This is a safe space for everyone, provided you don’t make it unsafe for anyone else.

sm love for the ppl here theatre passionate abt d2 like I am. y’all are great, keep posting

Destiny stuff,

I'm a casual player, have been going for about 3 years now. I'm a solar titan main. Dredgen, not masochistic enough to have it gilded (I can’t spell shh)

My favorite character is drifter, woah big shocker. I'm still learning the game lore and such, so at the moment he's the only character I've actually gone in-depth reading about.

My other favorites are saint-14, saladin, shaxx, osiris, eido, holiday, and ofc ghost.

Expect my posts to mostly be about them.

This isn't a ship blog, though I may reblog ship content occasionally. I don't have any I particularly care for, aside from O14, but to me they're different because it's canon. Again, asks are open if you want to hear me talk about a specific ship.

I have been asked specifically about drifteris because I post sm about Drifter, and no I'm not a drifteris shipper. I read their relationship as platonic, and if I post about both of 'em it's not a shipping thing. I'm glad the ship brings more attention to the characters, though.

Fanart & fics,

I'll be honest, I've written a few short pieces of my yw. I don't plan on posting them, and even if I do I'm not sure that I'll connect them to this blog in any way. that's a question for future me, whether that's tomorrow or years from now.

updating this bc I’ve been doing more lately— you can repost my fanart, just credit and tell me. I would prefer it stay on tumblr tho for ai protection purposes, though.

I don't sit and vet all every account I reblog, so if I reblog something stolen or just uncredited let me know and I'll tag the artist.

If you have m/m or m/neutral (or just platonic) fic recommendations feel free to send em over. Gotta have something to keep me occupied.

Tagging system?

I've never made one of these before. I don't think I have the time to go through all of my previous posts and set them up with this, but from now on the structure will be:

#dredgenposting - all of my destiny-related rambling, because I don't want to fill the destiny 2 tag with my post spam.

#reblogs

#mild nsft - probably just sex jokes

#nsft - probably won't be used, but leaving it here in case it is so that I'm not coming back again to edit this

#discourse - not sure how much this will be used, but I'm bound to have a public opinion on something eventually

#my fanart - my own fanart

#asks

if there's something you'd like tagged to filter in/out while looking through my blog, lmk. chances are I'm fine with incorporating it.

and that's it. thanks for reading, live long and prosper y'all.

[cielsosinfel]

Favorite 2023 reads pt 2

Cus I said I'd come back and finish after making this post. I've been super busy + exhausted lately though so this will be less detailed lol (maybe, we'll see how much I ramble)

Once again, links to places I already discussed the book are added if they exist.

Fiction

Helen House by Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya: This is a VERY short book, barely I novella I feel, but it has so so so so much packed into it. I'm just gonna copy what I wrote on DW:

It's a story that opens with our unnamed narrator realizing she is a terrible girlfriend, as her girlfriend Amber shares that her sister died years ago. Our narrator also has dead sister trauma, and she is coping with her grief in fun and exciting ways aka sex addiction. A ghost story steadily unfolds, but what really got to me was how this book delved into sex addiction, codependence and objectifying not just your partner(s) but also yourself. Really plunges the depths of how far someone can fall in their grief and how it radiates outward to affect others.

Idol, Burning by Usami Rin, tl Asa Yoneda: A story about Akari, a high schooler deeply obsessed with a particular male idol, deeply involved in fandom for her oshi, has her world upended when rumors circulate that he hit a woman who may be his girlfriend. This was a beautiful, amazing novel (and wonderfully translated) about a teenage girl spiraling into depression, the failures of the education system to provide meaningful support, and the fractures in a family where everyone is coping so badly with the struggles life throws at them. I found this a very, very thoughtful book on depression, social isolation, eating disorders, and living with undiagnosed learning disabilities and dyslexia. It's also a beautiful exploration of all the ways fandom can offer a lifeline in one's darkest moments, and also contribute to spiraling further and further into a depressive and self-loathing rut.

I still have complicated feelings about the ending, but I think I also still appreciate the realism of it all, and how much more relatable it made it. Even as someone who has never been involved in oshi/idol fandom, let alone Japanese fandom, it resonated a lot as a man who was a disabled, undiagnosed teen girl desperately seeking connection and purpose with online fan communities.

I read some of the original Japanese novel too and I think the language is perfect for someone still intermediate with their Japanese literacy!

A Man of Lies by Ben Crane; A former enforcer for the local mob boss fucks up big-time when he and his boyfriend (that mob boss' accountant) are caught trying to steal money to run away together. Now his boyfriend's dead and the enforcer will be too, if he doesn't pay his boss back. But he's got a much better idea what to do with the money he gets from his last big heist.

I wasn't expecting to be as into this as I was, but the writing pulled me in and didn't let go- the prose is quick and easy and never loses its pace; this would really make a perfect action film. And the plot was a lot less predictable than I was expecting; the cast was genuinely fun and endearing barring a few characters, which helps cus there are SO MANY PoVs. It's just a very fun trope-y genre romp and a good break from much heavier stories lol. I'm excited for the sequel after the damn cliffhanger this ends on.

A Guest in the House by Emily Carroll: an absolutely GORGEOUS comic (as all Carroll's comics are) about a woman struggling to fit herself into the life of her new husband and his daughter, with the ghost of his former wife ever present in the background... more literally than she wants to accept. Really good terrifying and beautiful F/F horror exploring sexuality and relationships and mental health and domestic abuse.

Poetry:

The World Keeps Ending, and the World Goes on by Franny Choi

Yin Mountain: The Immortal Poetry of Three Daoist Women by Rebecca Nie and Peter Levitt

Postcolonial Love Poem by Natalie Diaz

[terapsina]

hi! for the writing ask game, I'd love if you answered what you want outta: 1, 2, 3, 6, 7, 12, 15, 19, 23, 24, 29, and 48! :)

*deep breath* alright then 😉

1. When did you start writing?

When I was a kid I used to write a bit but not anything serious (I did plot out an idea for a "book" that shall never see the light of day). And then twelve years ago when I was 18 I started writing fanfiction, it was also when I started writing in English (which isn't my first language, but is weirdly now the only language I know how to write stories in).

2. Favourite character?

Of all time? No idea. Seriously. But let's narrow it down a bit. Favorite character that I enjoy writing for from the fandoms I've written in a few times? Elena from TVD because it's easy to get into her headspace, and also I feel very protective of her. Sameen Shaw from Person of Interest because doing her character right is kind of a challenge for me, also I adore her. Regina Mills, though it's hard to write from her POV so I mostly have stuff from Emma just being totally in love with her. Parker from Leverage, because she's really cool. Izzy from Shadowhunters, because ditto. Lizzie from Legacies, IDK she's just one of the most complex and interesting characters in the show. River Song from DW, she's really cool and I love trying to reunite her with Thirteen. Aaaaaand I think that's enough of that.

3. Favourite AU?

From one's I've written... I think I'm really proud of this one.

Royal Marriage Agreements and Cursed Princesses and Dragons Oh My!

It's my Clary/Izzy feminist Sleeping Beauty fic where Princess Izzy's supposed to get married for political reasons but doesn't wanna and figures out that if she wakes 'the sleeping princess' then that would take precedent. There's also a bit of cute background Malec with Dragon!Magnus.

6. Do you write on your phone/laptop/paper/something else?

Usually my laptop. But if an idea for a sentence or a paragraph strikes, or if I'm editing and adding some short changes, but I don't have the laptop on me I also use my phone.

7. Favourite writing advice?

Probably the advice to not worry about making it good immediately. To write something that's terrible because once it's been written you can edit it to your heart's content. But first you need to WRITE it.

12. Your favourite work?

Currently the story I'm working on right now because I've never done something as challenging as this. Something where I keep switching points of view through the chapters, and where I'm dealing with really complicated and intricate issues of overcoming trauma, and healing, and opening up to love, and finding comfort in friendships.

She's Come Undone and Set Free

Which is the story where Elena deals with the trauma of the sire bond, as well as finds out what Damon did to Caroline in s1. Which brings stuff to the surface for Caroline, but now she has her friends there to support her. Elena and Caroline get to be ANGRY. Also there's Elejah. And a bit of Klaroline. But also a LOT of bonding for Elena, Bonnie, Caroline and Rebekah. Also the Salvatores face some actual consequences.

15. Do you ever delete works?

I have in the past. Like two or three fics I think, some of the very first ones I ever wrote. They were AWFUL. And really short. No one's missing much, I promise.

But I don't think I'm ever going to again. Even though there's a lot that makes me cringe upon rereading, it would feel wrong to delete them.

19. Where do you write?

In bed. It's weird, I know, but I have some back issues and it's better for me than staying in a chair for hours on end.

23. Least favourite part about writing fanfiction?

Starting out. Once I've started I get in the zone and the story kind of... happens, like even if I don't know where I'm going with it there's little unexpected moments that surprise me. But starting out is hell, I've somehow always have just forgotten how to write.

24. How many unfinished works are in your drafts?

I plead the fifth 😂. Seriously though... a BUNCH. I've got a half written Hizzie fic that's torturing me. A Bellarke fic that will probably never see the light of day. Some beginnings to a Marisa/Asriel fic that I lost inspiration to.

Yeah, a bunch.

29. Where do you get your inspiration from?

Hell if I know. Usually though it's when something is pisses me off about canon and my brain goes 'wouldn't it be cool if...' and then I try to write that scenario and sometimes a fic happens.

48. How do you deal with coming up with titles?

*groans* it is the WORST.

Sometimes I take the episode title and twist it. 5+1 fics make it easy and I just describe the scenario. Sometimes I take one word that is used in the fic and use that. Sometimes I pick a random song lyric.

There's not a lot of brain involved, is what I'm saying.

[normal-thoughts-official]

With a little help from your friends (the help is praise kink and the friend is your boyfriend)

Who would have thought that fucking your boyfriend senseless cures dysphoria.

Alternatively: being a dom is actually something that can be so gender,

Fandom: It Lives (Visual Novels)

Pairing: Andy Kang/Tom Sato

Additional tags: let's see, mild mentions of transphobic and racist comments, Comfort Sex, the filthiest comfort sex uve ever seen but WHATEVER, dom andy kang, sub tom sato, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Dom/sub Play, Collars, Praise Kink, basically someone says transphobic shit and then tom rides him and talks about how wonderful andy is, except tom has also been in denial for a few days and he's super horny, and andy gets in domspace and everything is great and nothing hurts, Fluff and Smut, Humor, cuz u know these two are incapable of taking anything too seriously, Established Relationship, oh they're both in college and they go to the same college cuz i said so, set after the events of it lives beneath, that's it I think, trans author if that matters to you

Read it on Ao3

Andy isn't having a great day. It's not a terrible, clawing-at-his-chest-trying-to-deal-with-dysphoria kind of day, but he's been trying out this "not comparing everything to the worst possible scenario" thing his therapist has been talking about, so still, not a great day.

The thing is, he thought college would be easier. And it is, in a lot of ways. For starters, there is no evil monster spectre trying to kill him, which gives college at least 5 points over high school. And his uni has a pretty solid queer club, so he knows other trans people there. Some of them are even non-white. Some of them he even actually, truly likes. And most of the time, he feels like he has a place to turn to, and people to support him. He's not alone. He has people who get him. And that makes all the difference.

But basketball is still a nightmare, and his knee still hurts when it's cold, and winter is officially starting now.

People still hesitate to pass the ball to him, and it's frustrating, because Andy fought so hard to earn his old team's trust and now he's back at square zero. And well, Andy has been gaining this team's trust, because he's good, goddamn it, and his team owes at least the last three victories to him. He's not hesitant to say that, especially because otherwise no one will. And he can see that they look at him differently now - nod at him in the hallways, at least, talk to him in the locker room, pass him the fucking ball if his position is very, very open.

But if he weren't trans and Asian, he wouldn't have had to work so hard to get all of that - or well, just that, really. He has a full sports scholarship despite the fact that he had a broken leg, had to retake his last year of high school, and doesn't even have the body type for basketball. If he weren't Asian, if he weren't trans, his team would have assumed his greatness from day one. Instead, he has to show it to them time and time again only to get them to reluctantly admit maybe he's not bad. No one calls him "triple threat" anymore, but he still has to work three times harder than anyone else, and it's frustrating.

And usually Andy can deal with it, but right now his knee hurts, and he can't afford that because he'll lose everything he's worked for if his teammates know that his fucking knee hurts. So, he braved training and then he got the fuck out of there without even changing so no one would see him wince. Which means he's still in basketball shorts, which are short, in the cold, which means his leg hurts more.

At times like these, he's thankful he never got the chance to go through with his promise to break his other leg kicking Noah's ass. Because he would have, and then both his legs would be hurting right now, and two legs that hurt every time it's cold is just too many legs.

No comparing to the worst possible scenario, he tells himself. Therapy is so hard. If he had known there would be homework, he would have thought twice about going.

And that's, apparently, the cue for his phone to go off. Andy smiles, knowing who it is even before he opens the message, because only one person messages him during class, and it's the only person he wants to hear from right now.

Tom <3 sent you a message

Grinning like a fool, he opens it.

Tom <3: dude, im horny af rn. the fuck

Finally, good news, Andy thinks, smiling. Then he remembers why Tom is so horny, and suddenly this day is great, actually.

He quickly types a reply.

You: who wouldve thought that 3 days of denial would make this happen

Tom <3: ill have u kno i was very good at holding it together before today

You: yeah, dw. soon u wont have to hold it anymore ;)

Tom <3: that flirt was terrible, dude

You: said the guy whos calling me dude for the second time in this conversation

Tom <3: what else should i call u? 😩

Andy thinks for a second. Tom and him do longer-term denial every once in a while, but they aren't in a 24/7 relationship. Does Andy really want to go there right now? Yes. Well, that was fast. Okay then.

You: how about "sir"

Tom's reply comes fast as lightning.

Tom <3: Yes, Sir.

Andy smirks at himself.

You: uve been hoping that id say that, havent u?

Tom types for just a little longer this time.

Tom <3: Yes, Sir.

----

Many things are wrong with the world, and Andy doesn't mean to make light of the other things, but the fact that Andy can't simply go and fuck his boyfriend whenever he wants is definitely one of them. It should be, like, financial compensation or something. We're so sorry the school environment is transphobic, here, have a free sex pass. Sounds fair to him. But instead, he still has two hours of classes to go through, and Andy is a better guy than he wishes he was, so he tells Tom to pay attention to class instead of sexting him, because he doesn't want Tom to struggle even more with his course when he had already had to leave it once. God damn true love or whatever.

The point is, by the time classes are finally over, his day is back to not being that great; he's tired, and his leg hurts. He gets to their car after Tom does, and Tom takes one look at him, and says, "I'm driving".

Andy crosses his arms. "Why?"

"Because your leg hurts," Tom answers, rolling his eyes and taking Andy's bag from him and putting it in the trunk.

Andy looks down at his legs. He wasn't limping. There aren't any bruises. How the hell-

"It's cold and you're in shorts. I'm not an idiot, dude."

Right. Yeah. Right. Of course. Tom knows. It's… It's alright.

"Bad day at training?" Tom asks, slowly, sympathetically, and Andy feels himself settle in his skin a little bit.

"The usual," he answers, getting inside, and, as always, Tom gets the hint.

---

Their uni's dorms are gender-segregated because these guys have still not gotten the memo that people of the same gender fuck; and Andy wasn't willing to deal with cis college guys' bullshit, much less cis college girls' bullshit; and the uni wouldn't let him simply pick Tom as his roommate. So, they rented out a beat up apartment right next to it instead. It took a little longer to get there, but it wasn't a lot longer, and well, it was worth it.

Tom gets inside, still carrying Andy's bag because he's transphobic and unfair and had taken it and bolted up running so Andy wouldn't have a chance to argue with him. And Andy can't run after him with his leg hurting, which kind of proves Tom's point that he should carry Andy's bag. All in all, Tom is the worst, and he turns up the heat as soon as he gets inside and sits Andy down on the bed, kneeling in front of him to take a look at Andy's knee.

He's silent for a while, massaging his knee until Andy sighs and throws his head back, before Tom plants a little kiss on his knee and looks up at him. Andy's knee always stops hurting when Tom kisses it better. It's a little embarrassing, if Andy is being honest, but still- nice. Really nice.

They stay for a little longer like this, Tom humming and massaging his knee and Andy not meeting his eyes, until the question inevitably comes.

"What happened?" Tom asks, not letting up with the smooth movements of his hands, his eyes big and sincere with worry.

"Nothing. Just the cold. You know how my knee gets."

"I meant, for you to leave practice without putting some warmer clothes on."

Andy looks away. "It was nothing."

"Dude, are you expecting me to go, 'okay, yeah, that totally makes sense and I believe you', or…?"

Andy laughs, despite himself, and throws his good leg up in an almost-kick to pretend he's retaliating. "Don't be an ass."

"I'm not. Come on, Andy. You know you can tell me."

"It's nothing, it's just- Kyle-"

"Oh boy."

Andy laughs. "Yeah." But then he grows serious, "the thing is, he doesn't mean any harm, you know? I know he's not saying it to hurt me, and so that just means that, like... that it's true."

Tom's hands stop their movements, rubbing soothing circles around his knee instead. "What did he say?"

Andy doesn't look at him. "He asked me why I didn't stay on the women's team. Said that I could have an advantage, cuz Asian people are androgynous anyway, so no one would notice that I was taking hormones."

Tom just stares at him in shock for a moment.

"And I was like, 'dude, I've been on T for three years, I'm pretty sure they would notice the changes'. And he was like, 'yeah, but you still look like a lot of Asian girls with short hair, you could write it off if you wanted', and I just…" He trails off.

Tom waits in silence for a second, seeing if Andy finds his words, before asking, "Is Kyle, like, okay?"

Andy scoffs. "I didn't try and fight him, if that's what you're asking."

"No, I mean, does this dude have a screw loose or something?"

"He's very bad at figuring out what is or isn't offensive, yeah, but it's not like he really cares, he just won't go out of his way to antagonize me."

"No, I just- Andy, even when you were a little kid with huge pigtails, anyone would have to be crazy to see you as a girl."

Andy bites the inside of his lip. "You're just saying that."

"I'm not. It's just wrong, man. It was so obvious that it was wrong. Anyone could tell. There's nothing about you that says 'girl' to anyone who's looking."

Andy sighs, finally risking looking at Tom's eyes. There's overwhelming sincerity there, and Andy instinctively looks away. "I guess. Maybe. I don't know. It just got me thinking... Maybe T didn't change anything. Maybe I look exactly the same, maybe it was just hopeful thinking that had me thinking it would change anything, maybe it's just- pointless to even try-"

"No, no, come on," Tom says, and the interruption is so sudden it makes Andy look at him again, just in time to see Tom shaking his head vigorously. "There's no way you believe that. What about this bad boy over here?" He smiles, reaching out softly to caress Andy's neck. "You have more of an Adam's Apple than me, dude. And we both know you don't need T to be a guy, but thinking it made no difference is just crazy and you know it. What about those dry pecs? These broad shoulders of yours? Your voice, I mean, come on. You even smell different, man. How can it be pointless, if even your scent is different?"

Andy looks to the side again, but he can feel himself smile. "Well, when you put it like that..."

Tom gets up, but stays close, putting his hand on Andy's cheek, slowly, as if testing the waters, before turning him slightly to look at him. "Andy. Kyle is an idiot and a transphobic racist who's too damn lazy to realize how fucked up he is. And you shouldn't have to deal with that, and I'm sorry, and I will set him on fire."

Andy laughs. "You can't keep threatening to set every shitty teammate I have on fire."

"I can, because it keeps making you laugh," Tom says, smiling. Well. Andy can't argue with that. "My point is, you wouldn't listen to a word this dude says if it were about anyone else, so don't listen to him when he talks about you, okay? T or no T, you're no girl, and you don't look like a girl, and regardless of whether or not Kyle's dumb ass noticed it, your transition has been doing you good. Remember when your voice started to crack and get all weird? I've never seen anyone be that happy about it."

Andy laughs. "It was pretty awful."

"No, it was great, 'cause you loved it. Do you want me to pull out the 'before' pictures we took in case this happened? Look at yourself, dude. You fit so much better in your own skin, you know? And like, you've always been gorgeous, but-"

"Come here," Andy interrupts, pulling him down because Tom is standing and Andy is sitting and Andy is already height-challenged. And Tom goes willingly, carefully straddling Andy's lap and meeting him in a kiss. Finally, Andy thinks.

Tom kisses him softly, slowly, one hand resting on the back of Andy's head and the other draped lazily over his shoulder, as he usually does, all gentle and a little hesitant, and Andy is having none of that. So he grabs Tom's hair and deepens the kiss, bringing him closer until their chests are flushed together and he can feel Tom's hips mindlessly making little circles against Andy's belly.

They separate - or well, stop kissing, really, because Tom is still as close to Andy as physically possible, and Andy feels about ready to shoot anyone who tries to push him further away. Tom's a little breathless, and his hips are still making these almost imperceptible movements against Andy, and Andy realizes that he's still grabbing Tom's hair and that he's a little breathless, too.

Tom looks down at him for a second, as if debating something with himself, before saying, "and like, not to be horny during a serious moment, but since we're talking about the effects of T... Andy. Andy. Your clit. Fuck. It's so huge now, and it's got a visible head and you can fuck my face and everything, and I could sing it praises for a week and probably will if you don't stop me right now."

"Hmm, but I like it when you sing me praises," he smiles. "Keep going."

"God, I was hoping you'd say that. Do you have any idea how much I've been thinking about it today? I didn't hear a single word anyone said to me, all I could think about was you fucking my face, pulling my hair, making me worship you and beg to be allowed to suck you off, I wanna serve you like you're my God." Tom's hips start to jerk up, more visibly this time, shameless, and see, this is why Andy's been really, really liking this whole denial thing - Tom has only started to explore his subby side recently, a little ashamed of it to admit it to anyone, even himself. But when he's horny enough, he gets shameless and desperate about what he wants, and god, nothing is more beautiful than Tom when he asks for what he wants. He feels something growing inside of him, not sure if it's warmth or heat, but seeing Tom like that, wanting him, needing him, definitely makes him feel so much better.

"Yeah?" Andy asks, tracing a finger over Tom's shoulder, close to his neck, just to give him goosebumps.

"Fuck yes, I want it so bad, and you deserve it too, Andy… Sir. You're the best Sir I could ask for, I just want… Want you to use me, want you to cum on me, want to kiss you all over and worship you and pleasure you, you're so gorgeous..." He hides his face in Andy's shoulder for a bit, but his hips don't stop moving. He whines, "Andy..."

"Address me properly," Andy snaps, feeling the edges of worry clear from his mind and giving way to that wonderful feeling of clear-mindedness, of power, where nothing matters but his own pleasure. "And maybe I'll give you what you want, if you earn it."

Tom nods, hips full on thrusting now, and Andy snaps again. "Stay still."

And he does, immediately, without question, biting his lip and keeping his eyes shut with effort. Andy can feel his thighs clenching and spasming over his, trying to keep himself from moving, trying to be good. He hums in appreciation, but doesn't praise him for it, not yet.

"I'll get you ready," Andy explains, before reaching to Tom's hair, and starts to undo his bun, as slow as possible, just to watch him squirm. He gets so impatient when Andy undresses him, which is why Andy never misses a chance to drag it out.

He begins by removing Tom's jacket, sliding his hands slowly over his shoulders, then down his back, feeling the firm muscle there, digging his nails just a little bit so he can see Tom's eyes flutter in bliss. When the jacket falls to the floor, Andy begins circling the hem of his shirt, sliding until his hands are back on front, fingers just close enough to Tom's cock for him to feel Tom tense in his hands, so damn sensitive to his touch, so needy. God, he can't get enough of this, but he pretends that he doesn't notice, lets Tom try and keep himself together as Andy's hands slide over his belly, then chest, over the shirt, collarbone, wrapping and resting on Tom's throat just so he feels the threat of it, before Andy finally grabs the back of the shirt's collar and tugs, taking it off. Then he slides his hands back down, making sure to run a finger just over the sensitive spot where his pecs end, then lower, over his ribcage, belly, hips, next to the bruises where Andy had grabbed him the night before, then back to the middle, just over the bulge in his pants, and Tom finally breaks and jerks up slightly, letting out a little moan.

"Sir," he whines, "please, please, I-" Andy continues to circle the head of his cock with his finger, "please!"

"Patience," is all he says, before going back to his painfully light movements, imagining Tom's needy cock twitching under his fingers, imagining the effort Tom makes not to thrust up or keep begging for more, just because Andy told him not to. "You know how much I like playing with your pretty little cock. You said you wanted to serve me, didn't you?"

"Yes- yes, Sir."

He hums, noncommittally, not looking at him. "Good." He teases the tip of his clothed cock some more, enjoying the way his mind zeroes on that, the way he feels like he has all the power and the time in the world. Finally, he pats Tom's thigh once. "Get off, and take off the rest of your clothes. Get the lube and a condom."

Tom gets up, a little shaky, and does as instructed, while Andy reaches down to the drawer under the bed where he keeps his dick's spine and a few of their toys. He gets the spine, then adjusts his packer briefs so he can put it on - best purchase of his life, really, those briefs. So much easier to use than a regular strap-on and it makes the packer sit over his clit just right, making a little suction and pressure. Andy couldn't be happier that he was already wearing them.

Tom gets back with everything he asked right in time for Andy to finish making his dick hard, and goes on to put the condom on and cover Andy's cock in lube with the kind of attention that makes Andy hold his breath. Tom's so careful, yet eager, and adoring, about it. Andy feels like the hottest guy in the world.

Once he gets permission, Tom sits on his cock, slowly, getting adjusted to it - admittedly, Andy went a little overboard when he bought his first cock. Andy waits until Tom is fully seated, littering his neck with little kisses and praise for how well he's taking him, how pretty he looks, until Tom looks fully comfortable and ready to start complaining if Andy doesn't start fucking him in earnest soon. That's when Andy shows him the other item he pulled from the drawer - Tom's favorite collar.

Tom's reaction is instantaneous. He throws his head back, moving over Andy's cock as he lets out a breathless, almost choked moan; the hands he had resting on Andy's shoulders suddenly squeezing full force in his need.

"God, you're such a whore," Andy says, casually, and Tom nods, even as he flushes. The collar is just a simple black one, with a little hoop for the leash, but inside they had it engraved with the words Andy's whore, and it left visible marks that could be seen for a few hours after they took it off. It never failed to drive Tom crazy, so it always drove Andy crazy, too. "Stay still," he warns, and Tom nods, breathing heavily, gripping Andy's shoulder as tight as he can as he stays frozen in place. Andy slowly puts it around his neck, checking with his finger to make sure it's not too tight, and the second he clasps it in place, Tom's whole body relaxes, a content little sigh escaping his lips, his face slack and blissed out. He likes being owned, so much. Andy can't get enough of it. "Good?" he asks, just to make sure it's not too tight.

"Perfect," Tom answers, the words leaving him in a sigh. Andy then ties the leash to the headboard, making sure that they're just far enough from it that he'll be feeling its pull the whole time. Tom lets out a moan. "Thank you, Sir."

Andy smirks. "Now, here's what I want you to do," he says, "you're going to ride me, just like that, and you're not going to come until I tell you to. You're definitely not going to come before I do. If you come close, you'll have to tell me. I want to hear you scream, so make as much noise as you want. Do you understand?"

Tom nods again, almost dizzyingly quick. "Yes, Sir."

"Good, then get to it."

Tom doesn't need to be told twice. He starts riding him, slowly at first, trying to find the perfect angle for Andy - not himself, Andy notices, pleased. Once it's perfect, Andy orders, "faster, slut,” and Tom obeys, as always, working up speed as he tries to keep himself upright, feeling the tug of his leash with every movement, moaning the whole time. “Good boy,” Andy says, and Tom’s responding whine is high pitched, embarrassing, needy. He gets even faster then, starting to babble as he keeps on working, and Andy just stays casually in place, not having to do a single thing while Tom works to give him pleasure.

"Fuck, you're so perfect, did you know that?" Tom asks, quickly sliding down on Andy's cock, making sure he puts all this weight in the end so Andy's cock will press down against his clit just the way he likes, making sure to go as deep as possible, "I've been dreaming of your cock for days, god, Sir, nothing's better than this," he hides his face in Andy's shoulder, speeding up even more, thighs shaking with the effort, and Andy puts a fist in his hair and pulls, watching as Tom throws his head back and lets out a scream, working even faster on Andy's cock. "Sir!," he whines, "oh, thank you, thank you, feels so good, oh my god, please, I'm gonna-"

"No, you won't," Andy interrupts, "I'm not even close to coming yet. Keep working, slut."

"Y-yes, Sir," he whines, going faster, deeper, and Andy makes it harder for him, keeps pulling at his hair to expose his neck, litters kisses and bites on his exposed throat, grabs his thigh and squeezes hard enough to bruise so Tom remembers he's his, his whore, his toy.

"I love it when you get like this," Andy says, doing his best to keep his tone even, even as he's a little breathless from pleasure, from power, "I bet you want to come so bad, don't you? If I'd just give you the word, you'd be making a mess of yourself, coming on my cock right now-"

"Fuck! Yes, yes, Sir, please, I'm so close."

Andy smiles. "No."

Tom whines, so cute, adorable, and Andy is nice enough to leave a little kiss on his shoulder, grounding, calming him down. Before going right back to torturing him, "no, you don't get to come for a long time yet. I want you just like this, on edge, tasting it…" Andy grins. "Tell me how close you are, baby."

"I'm- I'm so close-"

Andy slaps him in the face. "You can do better than that."

"Fuck, I feel like I'm going to explode, I'm so close, I want it so bad, and you feel so good, God, you have no idea what you do to me, Sir, your cock is so perfect, it hurts, I need it- need to cum on your cock, Sir, please-"

"No."

Tom chokes on a moan, and starts to go even faster. He lets out a little whine, something Andy thinks was supposed to be a word, but doesn't come close.

"See," Andy says, "this is why I won't let you come. Look at you - every time I tell you no, you get so desperate, so obedient - it's what you want, isn't it? You want me to keep telling you no, you want to know your pleasure doesn't matter, that you're just here to serve me."

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes-"

"Good, then keep going. And beg all you want- I like telling you no, too."

Tom does. He begs, and he says thank you when Andy denies him, again and again and again. Thank you, Sir, thank you for using me, for putting me in my place, I'm yours, I'm yours. And he keeps on praising Andy, praising his cock, his body, the way he fucks him and uses him, no one else makes me feel like this, no one deserves to be worshipped and served like you, Sir, I want to make you feel good-... Until even the clear-minded state of domspace begins to crumble and Andy feels nothing but pleasure, and confidence, and power, and he cums to the sound of Tom praising him and begging, once, twice, three times, until his head is clear again and everything, even the need to chase his own pleasure, is gone, and he just feels perfect.

"Stop," he orders Tom, who's still babbling more and more incoherently, endless praise and worship, and Andy finds that he worships Tom right back. "I want you to get my cock as deep inside you as you can, and stay still. I'm going to play with your dick for a while, and when I tell you to, you can come. You did well today, baby."

Tom nods, suddenly struggling to use his words. "T-thank you, Sir," he says, already frozen in place, thighs clenching with the effort not to move and also shaking with all the effort he did before.

Andy coos. "Poor baby. You were so good to me today. Let me take care of you."

"You always- always do, Sir," Tom replies, and Andy smiles.

He gives Tom a long, slow handjob, making sure Tom stays still through it, enjoying the way his thighs shake on top of Andy's, the pressure of Tom sitting tight on his cock, the way his arms also shake with effort where they rest around Andy's neck; Tom's pretty, exposed throat all marked up around his collar, his breathless little whines as Andy makes sure to do it just the way he likes it, makes his cock turn red with need; watches Tom bite his lip, because when he has to keep still he becomes so quiet and needy, even as the little whines go through his lips… Until Andy finally says, "come for me, baby," and Tom screams through an orgasm that lasts almost a minute, hanging on to Andy as tightly as he can to keep himself anchored through the pleasure.

And then Andy holds him, and Tom holds him back, and they hold each other.

----

A while later, they've cleaned up Tom's cum so it doesn't get all sticky on Andy's chest, and Andy's finally taken off those damn briefs - they're great for sex, but get pretty tight when you wear them for a long time - and Andy holds Tom against his chest. He's humming, contently, and if anyone had told him at the beginning of the day that he'd be comfortable enough to have someone close to him while he's fully naked, he'd - well, probably assume they meant Tom, but still be skeptical.

"How do you feel?" Tom asks after a little while, finally opening up his eyes and saying hello to the world.

"That's supposed to be my line," Andy laughs.

"I feel great. Perfect. Next time, I wanna do it for longer. A week? Let's try a week. Or two weeks…?"

Andy laughs. "Let's not make too big of a leap yet."

"Fine. A week sounds good. Great. And now that we've established that denial is totally bomb for me, how are you feeling?"

"Honestly? I'm feeling great, too," Andy admits, playing with a little stray of Tom's hair, swirling it around his finger, "I think I needed that, a little bit. Who'd have thought that having you ride me and praise my cock cures dysphoria."

"Every trans top on every forum I've ever visited."

"Let me have my moment of realization," Andy mumbles, faux-annoyed. Tom just laughs, holding him closer.

"I'm just glad I could help," he says.

"Please tell me you didn't ride my cock just to help."

"Well, no, in case you hadn't noticed, I was horny as fuck. I just tried to, you know. Use that to give you a little push. Since you wanted to. Y'know. Also, it was all true. So..."

"Thanks, love," Andy says, earnestly. "I love you."

"I love you more."

They bicker about it, and Andy's smiling the rest of the day.

[thisbluespirit]

Fic writer interview

I was tagged by @captain-aralias to do this, so here I am:

Name: thisbluespirit.  I previously went by lost_spook and also a very long time ago as vvj5.  (You don’t get my real name, because unfortunately, it’s comparatively uncommon & too easy to find online).

Fandoms: I’m very multi-fannish.  I like the challenge of writing for different fandoms and getting the tone right and so on, and I also love exchanges, which often leads to writing unexpected gifts and treats when somebody’s prompt bites me hard.  As a result, I have quite a ridiculous number of fandoms, but my main ones are probably Doctor Who, Sapphire & Steel, Blake’s 7, Once Upon A Time, Spooks, The Librarians, Adam Adamant Lives! and a lot of very old British TV I love that few others do, like The Shadow of the Tower, the 1968 Dracula, Enemy at the Door, The Power Game and Public Eye and so on.  Recently I fell into the Star Wars Prequels fandom, which was a bit scary but very nice (it’s generally a friendly & very pretty corner of the GFFA) and I definitely want to write some more things for it, and not just Obidala.

Where you post: My fic?  To AO3, and before that (when I was much more mono-fannish) the Doctor Who archive, A Teaspoon and an Open Mind (which we refer to as “Teaspoon” - something that confuses non-DW people).  I once posted three non-DW works to ff.net, which I found so difficult and awkward, I never tried it again, especially not after it later on ate my scene breaks.  (ff.net’s war against scene breaks is apparently eternal and baffling).  Although I used LJ a lot (it was my primary fannish platform for years, and Dreamwidth still is), I was on it for the social and community aspect and find it strange to think of archiving fic there. I only posted it there if it was for a particular comm or meme or challenge being run there. 

Most popular one-shot: By kudos, this is my Yuletide treat where Miss Marple is a genius loci, and by hits, this is my flash ficlet where Miss Marple dusts Dracula.  I write hardly any Miss Marple, but when I die, she’ll be on my fannish tombstone and, at the end of the day, that’s probably a nice way to be remembered!

Most popular multi-chapter: This is impossible to say.  Since I’ve been so ill (for ten years now, much as I hate to say that aloud), I’ve written about 3 multi-chapter works, and only one of them was posted in progress, the others were posted complete.  The rest are very old and are either still only on Teaspoon, or I posted them to AO3 but backdated them, so these just aren’t comparable things.  None of them, being rare fandoms or in OW or backdated Doctor Who works, are popular in any case. The one with the most kudos is a Yuletide fic, The Poison Tree, for Dracula (1968).

Fic you were nervous to post: Lots of them!  The most nerve-wracking are gifts for exchanges, especially if they were serious or shippy, where I have to wait to find out if the recip liked them.  If I’ve written something fun and humorous I tend to know instinctively if it works or not, but when it’s serious, I just feel... terribly stupid and exposed until that comment from the recip, or someone at least, comes at last!

I think, particularly, some of the historical ones and the two Shakespeare ones, understandably, because it would be so easy to go out on a limb and just make a fool of yourself falling off: i love the rose both red and white, (sotT/15th C) his wonders to perform (even though it wasn’t for an exchange- it was a bit outside my usual and I’m still not sure if it really worked) (15th C RPF); movements of the mind (Twelfth Night) and Vigil (Measure For Measure).  The last two proved quite popular-for-Yuletide & I had some of my nicest comments ever on both, though, so obviously I did something right! \o/

How do you choose your titles? Well, either something comes, or I find a poem or song or proverbs quote or I just go dammit and come up with something simple. Remix is easier because you play on the original fic’s title, the fic and your fic, and that always seems to work.

I would worry about this, but I posted a whole bunch of meme fic that I just called “AU Meme: [Character’s Name]” and the summary for each one is “10 AU scenarios for [character] in a Dreamwidth meme” and people read those more than plenty of the others, which does kind of put the whole thing into slightly ironic perspective.

Do you outline? If it’s a long fic, to a certain extent, but only a few notes, or jotting down the ending and so on.  With shorter pieces (which most of mine are), less so, but usually the same things - this scene, or the ending or this line, or a research note or two where needed.

Complete: Number of completed works?  596 on AO3 (599 on my dash, but three are fanvids), but there are more at Teaspoon that I’ve never transferred over.

Do you take prompts?  I write nothing else these days, one way or another, most of the time - bingo squares, random generators, prompt tables, fests, exchanges, writing memes.  I just don’t take them generally, because I am still working on my last writing meme... from April (among other things).  But, yes.  I love prompts.

In progress: 0.  Well, no, actually, I tell a lie, there is one abandoned WIP on Teaspoon, which I started just before I became so ill, a Fifth Doctor crossover with the William Monk & Hester crime series.  Since it is abandoned, though, I don’t think it counts.

Coming soon: My Yule-fic.  Hopefully the last two from the AU Meme before the year is out, maybe a long origfic for Rainbowfic/genprompt_bingo I’ve been working on for ages, which is still in the editing stage, and I’ve a Good Omens/Doctor Who crossover in my notebook that I want to type up soon.  (I promised astrogirl on Dreamwidth I would.)

Tagging: whoever would like to do this and hasn’t been tagged yet - @allegoriesinmediasres @pers-books @human-nxture @luthienebonyx @scarletmanuka @maryellencarter & whoever wants to, feel tagged!  And if you’ve been tagged and you don’t want to, that’s okay, you’re excused.

[makiema]

I feel, sometimes, like you’re one of the few Eren-positive blogs left. Back in 2013, people related to him and loved him. Like, does no one remember how much this character used to inspire us in the fandom? That’s what I hold on to, what a character meant to me long before ‘shock factor’ and ‘no more heroes’ bull steps in. I love your blog, I love your positivity in the face of both the gradually disintegrating canon and the bitterness of the fanbase. I hope this doesn’t come off as aggressive.

Hi, anon! Thank you for sending this and no dw it didn’t come off aggressive at all! Tho I’m a little surprised bc I don’t post about Snk at all anymore, unless I’m griping about Yams’ erratic writing. but I’m so glad to know you’re still Eren positive! There’s only so many of us. Personally, I just feel so sorry for him and what he’s gone thru that it’s impossible for me to hate him. The only thing I hate is the fact that the narrative is set up in such a way that we’re always pitted against Eren. It’s like Eren is always made to go against the flow (which is why he’s the only one with some agency, but that does him little good) and as such is undeserving of the kind of sympathy others get. I mean, even back in 2013, when he was the kindest baby boy™️ people were like bUT hEs iNcoNsiDeraTE oF hIs fRiEnDs aNd rUns OfF oN hIs oWn and then in season 2 or s3p1 the issue was either he’s whiny or he can’t do anything on his own and then when he starts taking matters in his own hand, he’s once again in antagonism against the other characters. It’s like no matter what he does, the narrative is crafted in a way so that it’s always in conflict with him/instigating against him and I just hate that. Because it overlooks everything he personally went through, his own suffering, and the obvious negligence of his friends. Not to mention, the utter irresponsibility on part of some of the older characters. And the whole idea of making Eren roll with genocide bc he can’t accept the fact that there are other people outside, who have an issue with the Eldians makes no sense like hello, he is the one who’s always spoken up about the right to live??? And is literally the reason, Mikasa and Armin and in fact the entire main crew is alive??? Plus, he’s matured enough to understand that humanity will keep fighting till the end of time, matured enough to realize euthanasia isn’t the way, but it doesn’t occur to him that rendering enough military and consequently, economic damage is enough to change the political scenario of the world!!??? Make it make sense Yams. I’ll be honest it never felt like Snk had a hero or needed a hero (the only hero like character was Levi and he was done dirty by Yams too) but, at this point Snk is just tragedy for the sake of it and that’s why it feels ridiculous on all levels. Not to say, the #1 requirement for this “tragedy” to unfold itself is for Eren to be the big bad unfortunate villain who needs talking down from his friends, who ironically enough never talked to him when he was spiraling downwards owing to his PTSD :’) anyways, it is what it is I guess. If Yams wants Eren to be hated that badly we can’t do anything about it. I just hope people realized that despite everything, despite all the ridiculous “I was upset when I learned humanity existed” or the “this is freedom” shit, Eren’s truly remorseful and regrets everything. And he did desperately try to go against fate and left no stoned unturned to come up with a different way but literally nothing worked so he was like, the future is set in stone then. Hange said they couldn’t come up w anything and neither did Armin so I suppose Eren just had to be the scapegoat villain who does smth terrible that serves as the final push for the “good” characters to take action. so Eren is basically just fodder for some rushed up Armin development rn. At the end of the day, Yams arbitrarily deciding to put Eren out there as an arrogant, sort of baby-minded, villain who can’t stand the concept of difference and who is entirely resigned to the future he saw, is really not a consistent character trait as far as Eren is concerned. (ffs he’s always been all about fighting. he even saved Ymir by delivering that powerful speech but now it’s suddenly “genocide bc that’s what I saw” whaa—??😭😭) It’s just a choice convenient for the plot Yams has in mind and for Armin, that’s all. The only thing that I’m bitter at is the characterization tbh. and the way Eren is sacrificed for a bs plot. He deserved so much better than this mess. But then again, Snk itself deserved better!

[spectrumscribe]

Homestuck ruined my life and my fandom experience forever simply due to one horrible thing: I will never. EVER. Get that sheer exhilaration ever again. I have been chasing that high since I was fifteen. Fifteen!!!!! And nothing compares. I have homestuck syndrome and it’s given me brain worms that see other media out there and whisper “oh that’s like when in homestuck-” and it’s terrible, truly terrible. It encompasses too much, too many very, very delicious topics and subject matter. No other piece of media has ever come remotely close to touching the pure hearted joy of seeing an update that’s been posted while I was in morning class, and the following plunge of bewildered despair as I watched nearly every single character die ON SCREEN all at once in the span of 4mins and 25secs (they got better dw). Come what may this next four part arc of ROTTMNT, I welcome the pain, but I know deep in my heart it won’t live up to the infinitely frustratingly high standards I have for media I consume.

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Reviews: Let’s Get Dangerous!

The Duck Knight Strikes Again as our Darkwing Double Feature concludes! Scrooge, the Kids and Launchpad visit the fair city of St. Canard. While Huey tries to work out how the seemingly world changing project Scrooge is financing for researcher Taurus Bulba .. um.. works, Launchpad and Dewey visit Drake, whose struggling to find any crime to actually fight, but soon finds himself tangled up in the case of a plucky young orphan, her missing grandfather and Bulba’s dark secrets and soon Darkwing and his new family find themselves the only three people standing between the world and it’s untimely end. Let’s Get Dangerous with a full review with recap and spoilers under the cut.

It’s time! I’ve been obviously, being a fan of both darkwing duck, if only finally watching it in full now, and superhero stories in general, and this show having told some REALLY good ones over the past 3 seasons including darkwing’s previous episode “The Duck Knight Returns!”, which I sadly didn’t get to in time before this episode. But this is a worthly replacement to conclude our double feature so it all works out. But yeah a big one hour special that changes the course of the season, brings Goslyn in, and brings in Darkwing’s old rogue’s gallery? Sign me up. And it’s also VERY clear that Disney has plans for a revivial/spinoff for darkwing. Besides this episode setting it up and Frank being very clear he has plenty of ideas for this big duckverse as a whole and is a massive fan of the series, there’s the fact Disney conspciously posted a trailer, 4 preview cilps (Though to their credit none really give the game away entirely and all but one take place in the first act, and the one that didn’t is so they could show off Stephanie Beatriz as Goslyn, which is fair enough). And if that werent’ enough, the killing stroke is that the episode is FREE TO WATCH on Disney Now, and likely on Youtube sometime soon given they usually do that when the make an episode readily avaliable as done with most series premires and, for some weird reason, the season 3 premire of big hero six. But wheras that’s probably just to drum up hype for an aging-ish series, this feels like a delberate move to drum up hype for the episode among both fans of the ducktales reboot and the old darkwing fanbase. The only way they could’ve been more transparent is if they put a giant sign at the end of the episode that says SPINOFF COMING SOON.. MAYBE.. DID YOU LIKE THIS? TWITTER US IF YOU LIKE THIS.. THAT’S THE RIGHT TERM RIGHT?. 

That being said I can’t blame them as Darkwing’s a beloved property, superheros are big right now thanks in large part to disney themselves with the MCU, and the fandom reactied with overwhelming praise to “The Duck Knight Returns!”, which is one of season 2′s best episodes even if the cliam that scrooge never went to the movies nor saw one on cable after 1938 is implausable at best and really dumb and I hate it at worst. I mean I get he wouldn’t love rising prises, but I seriously doubt Della wouldn’t have dragged him to one at some point or that someone wouldn’t of tried to get him to invest in theirs long before boorswan. It just dosen’t fit the character and it was dumb.. it’s also unrelated to this episode but I had pent up rage from preparing to review that episode and I might as well get it out of the way now. Point is this episode has a lot riding on it and had all the hype. So did it live up to it? Let’s take a look. 

We open in St. Canard, former wretched hive of scum and villiany and soon to be home to the second John Oliver Memorial Sewage Plant. Launchpad’s narrating and nearly getting everyone killed in a car accident as Scrooge argues with Bradford over the project Scrooge is on his way to see.. with the boys in two naturally. And since eveyrone else is missing and I had fun with it last time i’m assuming Webby is with Violet helping Lena with her burdgoening superhero career and trying to ask her out,  Beakly is tending to the house ,  Della and Penny are working out and trying not to admit there’s clear sexual tension and Donald is once again in the Pantry because he never learns. HE NEVER LEARNS. 

Anyways we learn their going to visit Tarus Bulba, in this continuity a famous and well loved scientist who I’m sure defintely won’t turn out to still be evil... yeshewillletsmoveon. Huey and Louie are excited about it because of Huey’s well established love of science and Louie smelling the money in a big inavation with Scrooge likely smelling both. As for Launchpad and Dewey their going to check in on Drake, whose living here now: Launchpad because he’s his best budy and possibly future boyfriend and Dewey because he needs more hits for his channel as he’s finally taken Dewey Dew Night to the masses. Bout time. Now he just needs a streaming deal. Make it happen Disney, D+ needs some animated series of it’s own. They also do a naturally terrible job of keeping the fact h’es a superhero a secret. We also breifly see drake doing a superhero dive before also comically tripping up and getting injured off screen. Cue.. Darkwing Colored ducktales logo as we don’t have time for the theme this week! And given this episode is an hour long that’s saying something.  Anyways Scrooge and the boys sans dewey head to meet Bulba whose a charming, gregarious man who quickly hugs the boys, puts them on his shoulders and snaps a selfie with the group. And he’s also familiar with the boys: Huey for wining the junior woodchuck science award and Louie for Louie Inc which ended before it’s time.. on public record. He’s a fan of both. And even given later reveals this seems genuine which I did not expect it to end up being anything resembling that. But we’ll get more into Bulba’s character when the time is right for now he shows off his invention: The Ramrod! While it shares the same name as Doctor Waddlemeyer’s device from the original, and as we’ll soon learn he made this one too, instead of a gravity device it instead can make ANYTHING you ask for, with Taruus wisely using Haggis to demonstrate. Huey however can’t help but wonder how it does what it does as surely what it makes has to come from somewhere though Louie tries to shut him up as he dosen’t want him to look a gifthorse in the mouth. I mean Horace gets self concious about it.  Meanwhile Launchpad and Dewey meet up with Drake at the reboot version of Darkwing Tower, where he’s set up nicely: Multiple costumes, gadgets, including arrows with his face on them, and the ratcatcher in all it’s glory. Seriously I do love motorcycles even if I’m terrified of riding one. It’s part of why yugioh 5d’s holds a special place in my heart despite card games on motorcylces being patently nuts.. but it’s in the best way possible. As for how Drake got this sweet setup turns out  Launchpad introduced him to Fenton who designed all his gadgets and presumibly his HQ as well as his snarky crime detecting and st.canard monitoring computer, W.A.N.D.A. Naturally he also is unaware he’s gizmoduck and freely shit talks gizmoduck again, though apparently Fenton does too. Granted Fenton could just be doing it to awkardly agree but it’s just as likely fenton uses it as an excuse to vent about his superhero alter ego, as we’ve seen that while Fenton loves being Gizmoduck he also resents it at time for keepiing him from doing science and getting glory just for punching people. But I love this dynamic, as Fenton’s just too nice for the old “they both hate each other and want the glory” dynamic to work, so Fenton untetionally pissing DW off as Gizmo but secretly supporting him as Darkwing is great and I can’t wait to see where this goes.  Before we get back to the main plot, and there is a LOT of it to get to, I just wanted to point out that Dewey seems an awful lot like drake.. i’m not saying he’s the boys father and Della simply didn’t knoow who it was mama mia style nor did she, in her more selfish form of 11 years ago want to know.. but that’s exactly what i’m saying. THanks to whoever sent me that theory, it got more fire this week.  Back on the actual plot turns out Darkwing dosen’t really have any foes to fight as while St. Canard has a reputation as a crime hole, Zan Owlson has taken over as mayor and cleaned it up. I assume in part because Glomgold seems to have no idea where she went and thus hasn’t done some elaborate scheme to show how much better off he is/kill scrooge mcduck. I mean let’s face it it always involves killing scrooge mcduck. His charitable contributions involve killing scrooge mcduck, his team ups with scrooge involve killing scrooge mcduck, his breakfast cereal came with a free knife and a map to scrooge’s house. Though I do defintely want to see Darkwing vs glomgold. I mean he’s not DW”s normal type of supervillian but still, tell me you wouldn’t see that.. and if your serious there’s the door. 

Anyways despite having no crime to fight and trying to bluff past it despite WANDA trying her best not to help his case, DW goes out on patrol with his boys anyway.. and procedes to just pose for several hours before trying to stop what turns out to be two guys moving furniture and being force to admit he’s not in a great place. He just wanted to fight crime and inspire people the same way Jim inspiried him.. before he you know went insane, tried to murder Drake and everyone on a film set then seemingly died but is now presumibly still in duckberg’s sewers.. or just as likely hiding in glomgold’s house hider in the house style.

And yes that’s a real movie in which a real gary busey lives in the walls of someone’s house. And funner fact it’s on amazon prime and I was unaware of this or I would’ve watched it sooner and will be as soon as this reivew’s finished. Possibly while this review is going on I dunno. Point is your lives are richer and we might have another possible spinoff/gay love story for Disney. Just saying Disney. 

Point is Drake is breaking down, but thankfully he landed in the right alleway as a small figure is breaking into the mcduck industirie’s st.canard branch, i.e. where Bulba is. Also I gotta admit while McDuck industries having a branch in St. Canard wasn’t a huge stretch, it was set up all the way in the pilot meaning Frank had the backdoor to set up an episode here since day one, along with every other major location really. Nicely done. 

Darkwing follows her and confronts her, stopping the seeming intruder from stealing the key to the ramrod device and finding out she’s a.. little girl? It’s goslyn everybody!

.... I .. why was this under clap. I mean it’s a very good message with a very nice garfiled head but i jus... what. 

Okay that’s better. Thank you Genie and thank you ghost of robin williams.. I miss you man. She escapes, though sans key and security storms in, with Drake looking guilty. After some banter with Scrooge who fails to recognize him which would be funny if it wasn’t utterly nonsencial. And utterly nonseical can be funny it just comes off less as “haha scrooge still dosen’t remeber him” and more “Wait you seriously don’t remember the guy who was crucial to one of your plans during the moonvasion and who got beat up on your behalf.. I expect better from you. “ Scrooge just dosen’t seem like the type to forget someone helping him in such a big way. He can be stubborn, stingy and selfish, but he’s not that forgetful. 

However Bulba enters, says he knows exactly who he is.. and we cut to a press confrence where Bulba is lauding him for stopping a dangerous intruder. Presumibly he vouched for Darkwing since he knew about Goslyn and it was an easy way to cover up her involvment and it’s probably not the first time she’s tried this. He’s awarded the key to the city by Mayor Owlson who, while not wanting more costumed vigilatnes, is happy to reward someone doing the right thing. And I .. love this. I was worried she’d be your standard I don’t like superheroes type mayor, the kind gotham keeps getting with predectable results despite you know, the bat family being vital for gotham not becoming more of a hellscape. Instead Mayor Owlson is grateful, respectful and only reasonably dosent want St Canard overun with heroes it dosen’t need.. yet. She may want to use the proper channels but she’s not going to try and run someone out of town or grumble out of them for trying to help her city. She gets it.  Meanwhile Huey’s hat explodes with with notes and what not, to Louie’s annoyance, though my boy’s excuse is utterly hilarious “It’s dewey’s hat”... boy still cannot lie. Louie is of course annoyed at him wanting to know how it works and possibly runining his dreams, but Huey is rightly concerned that he has no idea just how the Ramrod works or what powers it or what prinicpals it runs on. And it makes sense: Besides Huey always wanting to know how things work being his deal at this late point in the series there have been quite a few times, both involving huey and not involving him where something seeming to be too good to be true in fact was and had some dark secret behind it. Counting them off:

The House of the Lucky Gander: A seemingly swanky casino with the best water show ever turned out to be mostly an illusion created by a luck vampire. 

The Infernal Internship of Mark Beaks: Beloved tech icon Mark turned out to be the con artist we all know and love as well as the jackass we also know and tolerate. 

Beware the BUDDY System: Beaks new driving robot turned out to be stolen bulb tech that Beaks hadn’t bothered to fix properly. I know Huey wasn’t there for that one but still. 

Day of the Only Child: Again Huey wasn’t involved but probably heard about it later but since Louie WAS, he should know better. Louie befriends rich kid Doofus Drake only to end up nearly kidnapped because he’s creepy as shit. 

Who Is Gizmoduck?!: While Huey wasn’t the target here, he and Fenton are close friends at this point and he was direclty involved. Beaks trying to sponsor Fenton turned out to be a scheme to steal the Gizmoduck Armor. 

The Town Where Everyone Was Nice: A seemingly central american town having a friendly festival turns out to be a carnverous plant monster that wanted to eat them. 

The Dangerous Chemistry of Gandra Dee!: Fenton’s seemingly nice date turned out to be an industrial spy for .. Mark Beaks. Seriously he seems to love this type of scheme. Mark Beaks alone is reason for Huey not to take Bulba at face value. 

A Night On Kilmotor Hill: The kids being able to go into their dreams ends in Magica stalking and nearly taking back Lena. 

Quack Pack: A wacky sitcom wish nearly gets everyone eaten by horrifying versions of humans. 

The Lost Harp of Mrivana: While the Mirmaids werne’t responsible for the dark secret this time, their society was built on the philosphy of a man who turns into a giant sea monster and nearly lead them all to the same fate. 

The Trickining: A lost horde of candy ends up being a trap by a bunch of monsters to steal candy that nearly got them all eaten and hurt Huey’s feelings. 

The Forbidden Fountain of the Foreverglades: A two-fer as the resort their at steals youtha nd the fountain of youth they went to find turns out to need to drain it from someone first. 

And Louie was present for 9 of these! And the only one around for one of them! That’s what makes this frustrating: Huey and Dewey have grown, but Louie instead of learning from his mistakes, blindly trusts something too good to be true despite the fact he has a running tally of when that’s happened!  I get he’s lazy and dosen’t want this to turn out to be too good to betrue, but he’s too smart for him not to see the red flags or see that Huey’s not “ruining this for them” but has been through this enough, mostly with mark beaks or people around him, to see a pattern. It’s frustrating when Louie was given a whole season arc, and didn’t seem to have any of it stick despite you know nearly murdering his family and nearly getting murdered by a zombie. The show is better than that and knows it’s better than that and it’s one of the weaker points of the episode. 

Back to the stronger stuff though, it’s time for the moment you’ve been waiting for IT’S DEWEY DEW-NITE WITH DARKWING DUCK! I figured after the preview clips this was the one Frank had been hinting at all season and it’s finally here! Dewey, now fully on team darkwing, interviews the terror that flaps in the night.. and has a picture of him just coming out of the shower for some reason.. okay are Launchpad and Drake already together and no one told us? Whatever the case, Darkwing’s first big interview is interupted by Gosalyn. As for how she found them, she followed a combination of the resedue from his smoke bombs and Dewey’s livestream that’s been going on this whole time. As his attempts to hide Drake’s identnity and really this entire show up to this point has shown subtley is not Dewey’s strong suit. 

Gos, after snooping around a bit and even letting out a “Keen Gear!” for old time’s sake, and finding Drake’s lunch box and first darkness poster, reveals she came for help since she figures DW owes her one for last night.. or earlier tonight. The timescale in this special is really hard to figure out and only gets worse.  Gosalyn fills in her side of the story and why she broke into two places in the span of 24 hours. Turns out the Ramrod was in part created by Gosalyn’s grandpa, who was working under Bulba on the project. But one day Dr. Waddlemeyer found out the Ramrod was critically unstable and went to warn Bulba.. and never came back. Gosalyn wants to find him, and wants to DW to punch Bulba into telling her where he is. DW.. naturally does not and raises valid concerns: He’s an upstanding citzen whose offered his full support, has done nothing wrong in the public eye, and is nothing but nice to everyone and Gosalyn.. is a kid whose clearly in mourning, broke into two places, and has no evidence to back her up. He wants to help but he simply can’t and Gosalyn prepares to storm off herself.  However in a VERY nice moment, Dewey goes to her and offers to help, as obviously missing parents are a big button for him and he appricated the fact he had someone when he needed to look into his own missing parent and wants to be Gosalyn’s webby.. his exact touching words. It’s a nice call back that really ties Dewey into this story well: He has a solid motive besides crimefighting stuff to help here. Granted Gosalyn’s confused as she hasn’t met webby, yet, and Dewey’s puns don’t help, but as Dewey explains his Dewey puns to her and his name, Launchpad talks to Drake and encourages him to help her. Drake is in fact reluctant like Gosalyn thought for his image but also because as mentioned Bulba seems to belive in him And that’s. understandable. Since starting out, he’s had no crime to fight, no villians to vanquish and only one person acknowledge his work and existance and that person is standing right there. Bulba is the first person besides Launchpad to not only enourage his Darkwing Duties, but to honor that and got him cleared of possible tresspassing charges, a key to the city and an interview on the hottest show on the internet. This risks all of it. But Launchpad makes a good point.. that he needs to help those who can’t help themselves and while he dosen’t have to fight bulba, he can at least look into him. A look at his dented lunchbox reminds Drake that his best friend/future husband is right, and that he became darkwing to protect people like he used to be.. to help the helpless.. and Gosalyn is helpless right now.. plenty capable, but someone who clearly can’t do this alone. So the four take off in the ratcatcher.

The four sneak into Bulba’s office and root around, but end up having to hide when Taurus comes in, with DW hiding in his massive filing cabinet that resembles Darkwing’s own from the original series, that was retired since by now computers have made that kind of thing obsolete. Still it’s a nice nod. Turns out Huey is confronting Bulba as he genuinely dosen’t know how it works and Bulba is annoyed at all his questions. Really Terry there’s an easy way to fix that. 

But instead Scrooge comes in and while Terry TRIES to use him to brush off Huey.. Scrooge dosen’t bite and has learned to take Huey’s inquires seriously. And it’s something I didn’t notice about the series but love dearly now i’ve realized it with this bit: The Adults almost always take the kids concerns into considration and when they are brushed off it’s more due to personal issues, like scrooge’s pride, than because their kids. And given just how many hundred series have had the adults just brush off the kids issues like nothing, it’s REALLY refreshing that even reckless adults like Launchpad usually listen and that the kids competence isn’t entirely ignored just because of age. 

Bulba brushes them off by giving them the map to the ramrod.. speficially extensive notes on it that they have to carry out as a team. He then adresses Darkwing as he somehow knew he was there but again, is more than happy to help him with any investigation.. and it just so happens evidence Gosalyn was at least telling the truth on some level flies out of Bulba’s files as it shows a picture of him happily playing with Gosalyn and Dr. Waddlemeyer. 

Darkwing asks if he knows them and surprisingly Bulba is completely upfront about it or at least his version of events: Waddlemeyer was his best friend his close partner until one night he ran in raving about a problem with the ramrod and in trying to fix it, it backfired and then he was gone. Gos takes this well.. and tackles Bulba while calling him a liar and pockets the key toossing it to dewey as the two soon run from a pissed off Bulba. While Launchpad tackles Bulba away from the kids, Gosalyn TRIES to trigger the ramrod only for Darkwing to stop her. “I’m Sorry Kid but this isn’t going to bring your grandfather back” it’s then the entire episode is turned on it’s head. While, unfortunatley, the trailer gave away other dimensions would be involved, it didn’t however set this up “He’s not dead, he’s in another dimension!”

Yeah while it makes perfect sense in hindsight I dind’t see him being ALIVE ever being a thing, so well played frank.  Back with the rest of the family, Huey, Louie and Scrooge are diving around a stack of papers and Louie is sitll being a little shit, and not in the fun way in the “well not everything’s a missing mystery blah blah blah”... when you .. you learned tolerance for your brother two episodes ago. Thankfully this ends here..mostly because Huey ends up being right as Louie mentioning the misssing mysterys gives Huey his eurkea moment. Turns out the Ramrod uses one of them, Solego’s Circuit. Solego, based on the chaos god from the disney afternoon crossover something I missed on first watch, was in this universe a mad thinker who belived in the old theory that fiction is just a mirror to another universe and everything is real and found a way to open portals to other worlds. Problem was his methods were unstable, and could destroy the world, and likely the universe, if used repeadtly. Wuh-Oh

Back at the Ramrod, Bulba has launchpad on him, while Darkwing aand Gosalyn discuss things and come to the obvious conclusion: If Dr. Waddlemeyer was caught in a ramrod explosion then he’s likely out there somewhere and Darkwing clearly wants to help. Bulba TRIES playing diplomat again and mentoning that even if he’s out there the trillions of dimensions out in the multiverse mean he may be nigh impossible to find.. and the ramrod’s too unstable for that. This however finally backfires on him as Bulba had previously said it was perfectly stable, and has now fully confirmed gosalyn’s side of the story.. and since it is stable, if he’s not lying that is, then that means they can find Dr. Waddlemeyer and get the full truth.  Naturally at this point Bulba finally stops playing nice and knocks both over and triggers the ramrod which is now very clearly unstable from use and prepares to throw both into another dimension, also confirming that what happened to her grandfather was no accident. Thankfully Dewey arrives in the nick of time with a well place smokebomb and bulba gets hit with lightning from the machine giving him a scar and cleaving one of his horns. While Gos is able to escape thanks to launchpad it dosen’t last long and Bulba confronts her.. but soon makes the classic mistake of saying no one can save you now.  Cue Darkwing with the classic terror that flaps in the night speech. And unlike the original darkwing’s fights with Bulba, this fight is entirely in darkwing’s favor, as in a thrilling fight Darkwing beats the crap out of them then escapes Bulba’s fist , the only blow the man gets in this time. While Bulba still is a legit threat, he can’t match Drake’s speed or misdirection skills. However when trying to get the key, which Bulba grabbed earlier in the scene, Goslayn falls and Darkwing goes to save her. And while our heroes celebrate for a second with launchpad joining them.. Bulba has escaped AND still has the ramrod key. Uh-Oh

Bulba is of course activating the ramrod with SCrooge and the boys telling him to stop.. it’s too dangerous... but Bulba decides to get dangerous and pissed at darkwing, unleahses the fearsome four! Cue act break. We’ll be right back. Let’s have an intermission shall we. 

Okay break’s over. St. Canard isn’t doing great as the fearsome four have locked down the city, with Gizmoduck barely holding his own against bushroot and unable to get past, and thus meaning implicitly no one else from duckberg can either and with scrooge and the boys missing, Mayor Owlson calls on darkwing to save them, again giving her more points in my book as she rightly figures the guy dressed up as the hero from the tv show and playing him for reasl is the best person to face four villians from a 90′s tv show suddenly out and about and holding her city hostage. 

But Drake is spiraling a bit as these are super villians with super powers. This dosen’t quite work for me as A) He’s a super fan and thus should know their weaknesses and B) What.. what did he expect. Even the vast majority of Batman’s Rogues Gallery is super powered. But it’s a quick speed bump, understandable as Drake probably didn’t grasp the very real reality of fighting super crime. We also get to see all 4 classic DW Badguys int heir glory, and beating up bonkers, who apparently exists in this universe which is more suprising than it should be. HOwever Darkwing, ends up accidently coming up with a plan: capture one of them, get them to let them into bulba’s heavily foretfied lab turned lair, and use the ramrod to send them home and find dr. waddlemeyer. Easy. Well okay not so much as the two argue over Gosalyn coming along but Launchpad’s experince has taught him kids are the best adventuerers at all and they just need to be an adventure family. Gosalyn’s dewey, Darkwing’s launchpad and Launchpad’s the uncle.. not quite the right congifuration but his heart’s in the right place.. even if Gos refuses a family since she still has one.. even if you know she can always add the two of them in. Eh semantics point is WANDA found Quackerjack and Goslyn rightly points out they can handle just one villian. So they head out. Also during the scene Fenton tried to contact them but Darkwing semeingly brushed him off.. we’ll get to that later. As the camera closes in on Scrooge and the boys being seen as missing we find the boys at least as Bulba throws them in jail. Scrooge is still missing, though we’ll find out where he is soon enough. Bulba returns to his office to find Bradford. Unsuprisingly finding the circuit wasn’t an accident and Bulba was working out the circuit for F.O.W.L. this whole time. However Bradford also isn’t remotley happy about how big and bombastic things are getting. After all his modeus operandi is stealthy and quite not you know hyjacking an entire city with an unstable super science device and 4 villians from an old cartoon show. Bulba points out hey he wanted the world, this is the way to do it and when Bradford continues to push back against him Bulba rants: he’s just like scrooge or the waddlemeyers or darkwing no vision. Bradford may not see fowl as supervillians, which no dude you are just because you don’t operate in the open dosen’t make you not supervillians. one of you wears a hood for fucks sake. Supervillians don’t have to wear costumes just ask the kingpin.. or his lookalike bulba who has his newfound minons take out bradford and throws him in with the kids. Yeah maybe.. don’t downtalk the well intentioned madman. This is why you haven’t taken the world yet. But with both his bosses gone Bulba feels they need a big splash and takes Liquidator’s suggestion of killing darkwing duck, and sends everyone’s faviorite dog shaped liquid pitchman to bring him to Bulba. Side note I watched a few episodes to see if the series gets darkwing’s villians  down.. what changed. and .. yeah it ended up being irrlevant as while the four do get to show their stuff and liquidator, my faviorite so far and sadly the most underused, relaly gets time to shine, they aren’t really that diffrent. Except for bushroot who weirdly only uses godzilla noises now. Thanks I hate it. Otherwise though it’s pretty accurate to the series and hopefully wtih a reboot we’ll get full on reboot versions of all four. 

Meanwhile Team Darkwing stakes out quackerjack, with Darkwing still unsure of what to do, and Launchpad having brought snacks like a good uncle. Yeah while he did immitate scrooge for a second it’s clear he’s taking after donald. Awwwwwww. The two then procede to think over one of quackerjacks episodes and while gos goes to find him, they sing the theme song. Great. They do end up finding him.. and as in the episode it’s inside a giant mech.. that probably wasn’t cgi in the show.. or maybe it was but god it’d be awesomely horendous.. somebody make that. They narrowly escape him.. but run into liquidator instead. Wuh-Oh.  Meanwhile, literally as these bits are intercut but it was just easier to do it this way, Bradford is thrown in his cell and the kids are curious why he’s here, with Huey assuming he’s getting money and the kids breaking out with Bradford forced to follow, though caling Heron for an evac. Dewey actually has a plan: Since he knows Darkwing an Gosalyn won’t stop till they get to the ramrod, they simply need to find the ramrod and wait for them to show up and offer a way out, though Bushroot bars the way. Thankfully Dewey knows who he is as Launchpad naturally made him watch a LOT of darkwing duck but hey it came in handy and gives him something to bond with his birth dad over so that’s a bonus. 

The three make their way through, with Dewey singing the darkwing theme song.. and naturally being the one to trip the vines. our heroes make it out alive but bradford  is pisseeeeedddddddddd. And in his rage accidently says maybe a bit too much after dewey incorrectly assumes he’s never felt this alive in years. 

“I’ve never been closer to death thanks to your foolhardy adventuring! If you didn’t meddle with forces you didn’t understand Magica De Spell wouldn’t have broken the bin, the moon never would’ve invaded earth and all of reality wouldn’t be in jeopardy! SOMEONE HAS TO PUT AN END TO THIS!” Yeah this speech .. is damn good hence me quoting it in full and Mark Evan Jackson really sells it. While granted we knew this was what started FOWL trying to elimiate the ducks, that’s how we found out FOWL existed still after all at the end of last season, here it becomes clear that despite Bradford saying it’s just buisness and seemingly being business minded.. this is PERSONAL. He genuinely seems to hate the ducks and their adventuers and the damage they cause and seems to blame them and soley them for everything that goes wrong.

And I was going to say “Well he’s not entirley wrong” as their adventures have had consequences.. but as I looked through the episodes.. I realized I was wrong. Out of 60 episodes so far, the ducks actions have only threanted duckberg or Scrooge’s buisness a handful and most of those are Louie. They are :

Louie misusing little bulb in the great dime chase wrecking parts of the bin

The beanstalk incident from Jaw$, which Scrooge was called out on in the public. 

Gizmoducks messy bank robbery prevention in who is gizmoduck, easily outweighed by everything since. 

Destroying an underwater research station in the depths of cousin fethry which was in part due to natural wildlife. 

Scrooge’s flu and stubborness tanking stocks in “The 87 cent solution” not to mention destroying property. While yes Scrooge was being played by glomgold his own stubborness and the kids refusal to call beakly lead to it playing out longer than it should have. 

Ruined an expensive movie production (Which is partly Jim’s fault, but scrooge still didn’t get intolved at any point or have anyone more experinced oversee boreswan or even ever contact jim about a cameo. )

Louie nearly destroying time itself in timephoon.

Della giving the moonlanders the blueprints for the spear

And as you can tell almost all of them aside from louie’s two incdients involve some form of extenuating circumstances. While Chaos has insued it’s never been intentional and always been cleaned up. Even the invasion, as close a call as that was, was solved BY the family and their allies.. and glomgold, but hey sometimes you need an x factor.  Most of the duck’s actions have only backfired on themselves of people nowhere near duckberg or scrooge’s intrests and most villians gunning for them would regardless if scrooge was active or not: Glomgold hates scrooge for entirely personal reasons, Magica was locked up for good reason and while she got out due to the family’s rift, she would’ve done what she did with the bin regardless, the beagles just want their land back even if Scrooge rightfully owns it, Beaks maniuplated fenton to get the armor and now goes after him out of jealousy, and Lunaris was already going after earth Della just sped it up and did so in good faith entirely unaware he was a invader. These nuts would be gunning for scrooge anyway, and while some of it’s due to his life as an adventuerer, said life was started before Bradford was born. Scrooge isn’t responsible for guys coming after him any more than batman, or spide-rman. Sure a hero being around gives them reason to keep trying but it also means there’s someone to STOP them.  And more importantly, as I always intended to prove, their adventures have done more good than harm: Beisdes the obvious mending and extending of their family, with Donald and Scrooge patching things up and Beakly, Launchpad and especially webby being warmly welcomed in and Della finally finding a way home, not to mention their various allies, over the last 60 episodes our heroes have, and yes another list and a long one so buckle up. In chrnological order:

Brought clean, limitless water to duckberg, if through scrooge’s water company. 

Defeated a luck vampire that was kidnapping innocent people (Okay Gladstone’s probably mildly incident but even he didn’t deserve that) and likely left him unable to continue his scheme. 

Freed a lost and enslaved Egyptian civlization from a tyrant and brought them quite literally into light.. and gave them burritos. 

Defeated Zeus.. not really a huge change for humanity but given what a dick he is I’m counting it. 

Through Gyro’s invetion of the gizmotech armor and Fenton’s use of it, gave duckberg a superhero whose since cleaned up crime, keeps the city safe while scrooge isn’t around and is beloved by the city. 

Stopped a known super spy.. who works for Bradford but still. 

Defeated Magica, saved the entire city, and depowered her all in one day and all together.

Found an entirely new and giant species of plankton and gave their cousin a purpose

Destroyed an evil plant monster that had likely eaten dozens before that. 

Helped a man find his family’s treasured lamp

Opened a museum wing to share Scrooge’s various treasures with the world. 

Hundreds of years ago stopped a robber baron from bleeding a town dry. 

Donald selflessly possibly sacrificing himself in a dangerous rocket to try and get home to warn earth and his family of the coming invasion. 

Taught Lena how to love herself, got her to turn against magica, and then with Violet’s help Webby helped her return to life, and find a home where she’s actually loved and wanted and finally happy and free. 

Stopped beaks rampage.. granted it was with stolen gizmotech, but he still stole it int he first place. 

Gave the Drakes an adopted son who genuinely loves them and sucessfuly gave them finacial freedom from their cruel, sociopathic biological son. 

Stopped an army of scrooge’s greatest foes from stealing his company. 

Formed a resistance against the moonlander invasion, stopping it eventually with glomgold and the cousins help. 

After that stopping Lunaris backup plan to destroy the earth itself along with his own people. 

As a result of all of this, despite the invasion, introducing a new population of happy, repentant for their invasion of the world aliens into duckberg who have been loyal and hardworking. 

If unknowingly stopping Fowl’s own agent from killing everyone in duckberg. 

Saving a lost society of mermaids and helping them start over

Sucessfully saving a charity gala from hyjackers. 

Helping Daisy start the career she wants. 

Saving BOYD from being hyjacked by dr akita

Saving all of Tokyok from Akita’s plans for boyd.

Finally letting BOYD be his own boy and break free from his past. 

Defeating team Ragnarok and saving the earth from the end of days. 

Defeating the phantom blot while unlocking Lena’s powers, both saving an innocent child from death and giving duckberg protection from Magica once and for all. 

Helping penny adjust to earth giving Duckberg another defender besides Gizmoduck and the clan mcduck. 

Stopping ponce de leon from draining the youth from anyone else and restoring all his victims. 

So yeah five times the number of bad things they’ve done or money they’ve lost. For all the chaos it causes the ducks have changed so many lives and not just their own for the better. And I think that’s the problem: Bradford only sees thing in the terms of possesion in money, and helping people gets him NONE of that. To him all of this is just more risks to the world and his control of it. To him Scrooge has near complete control of duckberg, thousands of buisnesses, the potetial to grip the world.. and he uses it to seemingly endanger it and better lives instead of his own. I mean he has enriched his own but still. Bradford simply CAN’T see past himself or his own saftey and greed to see any benifit for anyone else. ONly himself and with scrooge gone the world is his, the world is safe, and the world is better. In other words.. he’s who scrooge ALMOST became, minus the effort to get things himself. A bitter old man who cares only about himself and his possesions and wants nothing else. We’ve seen it here and we’ve seen it in the life and times: Without his family scrooge grows cold and alone.. and without anyone to really care about Bradford is what he’d become.  He’sd also forced to eat his transmitter after blaming his outburst on his lack of medication. Wah Wah. 

Back at Darkwing Tower, after what feels like 80 years, our heroes squabble a bit as Gosalyn wants to run off after another villian to get to her grandpa while Darkwing wants them to get some rest while he takes care of some buisness> Gosalyn balks at this, all but shouts YOUR NOT MY REAL DAD! and then runs off to the overlook of hte tower. While Darkwing takes a call with Fenton at long last, Launchpad goes to comfort the girl. She admits straight up she was a bit hard on the guy she’s just desperate to find him. And it turns out darkwing as over hte last.. few nights? Wait....

I’m genuinely confused as the time skip at the end of act one indicated a day at most yet i’ts apparently been several and drake’s been loosing sleep over it? And even WITH the lockdown the rest of the duck family hasn’t barged in? I mean yes the four are keeping the gates shut but even with fenton trying, I highly doubt della has the patience to wait while her kids and baiscally dad are in serious danger, and they still have the cloudslayer/sunchaser and while yes bushroots pplans could stretch up it’s as simple as della flying up and then landing somewhere. I don’t think mayor owlson would complain TOO much about property damage and while scrooge would grumble he’d pay for it. Point is the timescale here is confusingingly worded. At most i’d say a day has passed and darkwing hasn’t slept since last night, as that makes more sense than “Whelp I guess our famiy’s been missing for days nothing weird about that. As I said the timescale for this episode is really weird and one of it’s few problems, the other being, now we’ve met them might as well get out of the way, how throwaway darkwing’s foes feel. They all, minus mega volt, get a moment to shine but they all feel like interchangable goons. Like any of them could’ve done any of their scens just swap out the gimmick. I do get this episode has a LOTTTTTT going on at once, so I get any character bits with them probably got shoved out and odds are we’ll get “real world” throughly updated versions next time, it just feels weird to make such a big deal and bring the fearsome foursome in and not either give them a bigger roll or have them stick around for the future, though as I said frank will probably remake them from the ground up for the reboot with new origins and what not, and some might intentional take after them like drake did with tv darkwing, so fair enough, just felt it was a bit of a waste but I understand it given the sheer amount of stuff to fit into a 45 minute special. 

Back on the actual plot though Darkwing’s been up all night conversing with Fenton trying to find dr. waddlemeyer. And Fenton sadly has no good news: Not only does the Ramrod have only one shot left in it before it breaks reality, but even if that gives them one shot to find Dr. Waddlemeyer.. there are trilions of universes out there. The odds of finding it before reality goes bye bye are slim to none. But Darkwing refuses to give up as he refuses to let Gosalyn down. It shows that despite his earlier fear.. Drake is a damn good person and wants to make up for not beliving in gosalyn, to help her anyway he can no matter what it takes. Gosalyn realizes she’s been kind of a dick and helps darkwing and herself get some sleep, and in a reversal of the scene from Darkly Dawns the duck, hums little girl blue to him. Awwww.. my heart.. it’s too full!. 

Back at the tower, the boys and bradford find the ramrod and bradford grumbles as he finds where scrooge is: trapped in the ORIGINAL ducktales reality, though using the remastered proportions and blue eyes. It’s a good gag especially since Bulba specifically trapped him in this scene. 

Beautiful. Bradford wonders how the hell he’s going to cover this up.. and Huey overhears him, having already been suspcious because while good at running a massive shadowy conspiracy, he didn’t you know, tell heron to keep it down on the transponder as the boys were around and her continuned interputions and his outburst earlier made Huey suspcious. Before Bradford can cover he starts coughing (With Dewey’s pricless injection of “Oh no we killed him!”) and coughs up the transmitter.. with Heron inconvently pointing out he’s fowl high command. He’s the bad guy.. from the kids point of view at least. But Bradford just chucks them into the 87 dimension where they stare blankly at scroog’es rampage. So now it’s all down to team darkwing.  Speaking of which their all asleep but Wanda wakes darkwing up and in another ddtd parallel, he leaves to take care of this himself, if without Gosalyn waking up this time. His reason is simple though: The ramrod has fired up and this is their only shot at getting her grandpa back. So Darkwing strolls in.. and once Bulba and the fearsome four marvel at his directness, Bulba sends them to knock his brains out and drag him in. Thankfully Gosalyn and Launchpad wakeup and while Gosalyn is mad for a second, she sees him getting drug in and finally realizes just charging in isn’t going to do it. .and since Launchpad knows DW like the back of his hand, he gets them in by dressing them up as Jumbalya Jake and the Bugmaster. I’ve heard of both though why the hell Frank chose Jumbalya jake over .. ANYONE else, is beyond me. Bugmaster is fairly popular, Jumbalya Jake.. is basically a less intresting fuzzy lumpkins. Regradsleess it works and our heroes make their way inside. 

Bulba is preparing to his big hyjack the airways villian speech, contacting the leaders of the world.. and killing darkwing, whose none to happy about it to show their serious with an ultimatium: either let him use the ramrod to change the world for hte better or else. And this seems a good as time as any to talk about Bulba.. whose utterly EXCELLENT in the reboot. And I loved the original but instead of just being a super comptietn villian bulba is instead a well meaning one. While he embraces the supervillian lifestyle and flunkies and flamboyance, he’s also just trying to remake the world, to make it BETTER than it was beofre, to end hunger, no traffic acidents. It dosen’t make him a good person, much like magneto or disney’s own toffee, the ends do not jusify the means and he’s likely going to destroy reality in the process, and it’s clear his own arrogance is at much at play as his desire to do goo dand anyone with valid concerns is just a doubting asshole. He’s a compelling villian and James Monroe englehart REALLY fucking brings it, creating a villian with style, a mission and competence galor. He’s really damn good and easily tops the original which is not easy at all, but props to frank for doing it. 

But before he can get started, Gosalyn throws the smoke bombs down all around and does Darkwing’s terror that flaps in the night bit for him, and the distractoin allows DW to escape and kick bulba in the face. A HELL of a fight insues. That’s one of the best things this series does is fight corpegraphy as while battles aren’t in EVERY episode, whent hey do happen their spectacular as Darkwing and Launchpad take on the fearsome four in one hell of a beautiful sequence. Darkwing and Launchpad plan to take the four on while Gosalyn gets to the ramrod. Gosalyn understandably questions how an actor and a launchpad are going to take on four villians with the two piping in that bushroot really isn’t na villian which .. I mean he KINDA is but the symapthetic kind that would probably give it up eventually but fair enough. I still like that nod even if this version is less adorakable traumatized plant and more...

Still Goslyn realises their power! THeir nerds! And with the power of fanboyness, and taking a few hits and refrencing the just us justice ducks episode I haven’t seen yet, their triumphant. Singed but triumphant. 

Meanwhile Gos continues to try and find her grampapapapapapapappapappaaaaaaaa while Bulba engages Darkwing and Launchpad. Jokes on him their already engaged to each other! She fails to find him but does find the ducks, who wonder what quackaroonie means and why their heads were round.

As the Ramrod rips a massive hole in time and space that threatens to suck everyone in. While Dewey encourages Gosalyn to keep going Huey tells her to stop... which.. Huey you lost your parent too, end of the world or not you can phrase it better. Otherwise top notch youv’e been the best this episode. And in one of the best scnees of the episode Gosalyn realizes what she has to do and despite Bulba tempting her with another relality she ddosen’t even consider it.. she shoots the ramrod with her crosbow, destroying it, with the final portal taking the fearsome four .. somewhere. I dunno? Cleavland..antis? I’m sure their fine. Bulba is knocked out though, and Gosalyn slowly weeps while her new dad consoles her. It’s a touching scene.

Thattt’s soon interupted with one last bit of unfished buisness as Huey suddenly realizes OH CRAP BRADFORD”S MISSING. They find him heading off in a marked FOWL helicopter, which Bradford points out the stupidity of but with Scrooge now having concrete visual evidence his head investor is running one of the oldest and deadliest spy agencies in the world, and their gunning for him decides to give a big of a gloat and tells Scrooge his adventure fantasy is ending while Scrooge remarks their world got a lot more dangerous. And yeah.. while I doubt Bradford will still brook over the top villiany, he now no longer has to hide his agents from scrooge or dance his operation around him and likely has enough embezlled funds to keep fowl going long enough to take out scrooge.  And yeah before we get to the end, thank god as while I love this review it’s been one of the longest writing experiments of my life., let’s talk about the FOWL overarching Plot and the interlocked missing mysteries subplot. The progress up till now has.. not really been great. Understandable but wheras season 2 had way too much plot this season took until thsi episode for the plot to really kick in. It’s been aggrivating and both fowl agents after you only crash twice .. really had nothing to do with them in their missions, with both only really using their resources. However.. as slow as it’s been, I will give credit in two places: 1, htis was likely done to get plots out of the way that were lighter and less tied into things, with only two exceptions in the next 6 episodes judging from the just released synposis for novemeber. And 2) the fowl episodes that WERE there set things up brillinatly. You Only Crash Twice set up heron’s lack of stealth and overt villianly, so her calling bradford a ton and bringing a marked helicopter did’t come out of nowhere, while last week’s episode hinted at the fact that FOWL somehow has acess to their own copy of finch’s diary or an equivleant. While we don’t know all the details. This episode also got the plot into overdrive by fleshing out bradford anymore, adding into his lack of liiking cartoon supervilliany by giving him a well and true hatred for scroooge and co. It’s not just the risk, he truly hates their lifestyle and LOATHES all of them and wants them gone.. and now he’s getting his chance. Overall it hasn’t been a bad plot and I get why it’s mostly in the back, but it still could’ve used some build up. But they worked well with what they had. I will also say the focus on Huey is ramping up with the last batch of episodes, so this really has turned out to be his season afterall. Good.  So we wrap our story back at Darkwing Tower as Gosalyn bemoans the fact her grandpa is gone. But Drake, for the first time this episode in his civies, softly encourages her to, much like him at her age, get back up again. She got blown up, buffeted around and lost a lot. but they WILL find him. Afterall Drake has a scientest friend who knwos another scientest, and until then.. she can be his crime fighting partner/implicit daughter. So Gosalyn, after so much rejection of it finally accepts her new family while Launchpad runs in to join them with dewey’s blessing. He’s not leaving the show ind, he’s just going to spend days in duckberg, nights in saint canard and sleep on the drive over, to Drake’s pitch perfect “What the actual shit bud” face. Gosalyn is happy, ,and Wanda has a crime for them to chase and our hapy family , back after way too long, heads off into the night to get dangerous. Wheew. 

Final Thoughts: God damn this was a long one. I mean it was an hour long but god damn I had a lot to say. But it was a good one. Minor flaws aside, a second watch showed off the pacing, great jokes, amazing emotoinal core, perfomances and plot progression. Unlike the Duck Knight returns the episode wisely ballances darkwing with the boys and scrooge, and interweaves them beautiful as well as finding a credible way for them to find out about FOWL. The game has changed.  I also saved the best for last as Stephanie Beatriz was fucking amazing as Gosalyn. While i’ve always loved her, she’s nice, bi and utterly fantastic on brooklyn nine nine why wouldn’t I?, and was excited I was both suprised by how diffrnet her gos voice is from her regular one, though shouldn’t have been as her rosa voice is also vastly diffrent.. seriously stephanie do more voice work your great at it, and Gos was rebooted well, sanding a bit of her hellion streak off while still feeling like the character and instead of just ignoring her grandpa’s death after one episode, making it inot a major part of her character arc here and likely in the future. It’s damn good stuff. The special really overall gets the spirit fo darkwing while making something, new , fresh and bold out of it and easily holds it’s own among the other specials. Nothing much else to say that hasn’t been said, this special was utterly amazing, go watch it. 

Now with that done if you like my weekly ducktales reviews, you can follow me for more, comment to tell me how i’m doing and i’m proud to announce.. follow me on my brand spanking new patreon! 2 dollar patrons get a poll once I have enough to do one of those, a discord once I get any, and 10 dollar backers get to pick a review for me a month! If you have the dough, please check it out and if not tha’ts okay. Until next time get dangerous but in the safest way possible, don’t forget to vote trump out and happy halloween! Play us out  Jeff Pescetto!

[lunawho47]

Buzzfeed Unsolved: The Mysterious Doctor and the Omen of the Blue Box (Part 1)

Fandoms: Buzzfeed Unsolved and Doctor Who

Genre: Total Crackfic, Humor

Rating: 16+ (for language)

Summary: A script for Buzzfeed Unsolved, in which our two favorite jackasses, the Ghoul Boys, discuss the various internet theories surrounding the identity of various mysterious figures known only as “the Doctor” and the blue box that tends to appear around them.  Well, Ryan wants to discuss the theories; Shane thinks it’s all urban legends and bullshit.

A/N: So, I’ve read a lot of these mock scripts going around for Unsolved discussing CW’s Supernatural as though it was real, and I thought they were hilarious.  So, my brain started wondering what theories the reddit and conspiracy boards would think up about mentions of the Doctor, the Doctor’s companions, UNIT, and Torchwood.  And to be honest, my brain came up with A LOT of theories that would make sense, and this format seemed a fun way to discuss all of them.  It was originally going to be a one shot, but as I started writing, Shane kept interrupting in my head about how stupid all of it sounds, and that kept making the script longer and longer.  So, it’s now going to be a few parts long cos the history of DW (even when seriously truncated) takes a long time to go through when you try to use the serials to make arguments about the Doctor’s potential identity(s).  

So, here’s part 1.  Please let me know if you like it and would like to see more.  And if Shane and Ryan sound anything like themselves because if they don’t then the whole thing is nowhere near as funny as it should be.

Ryan: Today on Buzzfeed Unsolved we're looking into the puzzling mystery of an entity known only as "The Doctor" and the corresponding omen of a blue box.  It's a mystery that, in its more comprehensive moments, is whimsically strange and, most of the time, is just plain batshit bizarre.

Shane: Okay, so I can hear the air quotes around the name, and you called it an entity.  Are we talking like, cryptid creature that is based in reality or am I going to be sitting through theories about zombie plagues and Ant-man Ax murderers again?  Just what am I in for here?

Ryan: No zombie plagues, and the Doctor has never murdered anyone with an ax.  At least, not in any of the records available. It's just...well, it's hard to explain here, so let's just get right into it.  Just bear in mind this is Gene Wilder Willy Wonka levels of weird when it's at its most sensical.  And it's rare that this story makes any sense at all.

Shane: Alright, I'll confess I'm...intrigued.  I'm ready to listen.

Ryan: Alright, here we go.  *opens folder*

Ryan (in his Unsolved VO):  The first documented evidence of a being calling itself "The Doctor" is in the files of now deceased British UNIT officer Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart.

Shane:  Wait.  UNIT?  What's that? Sounds like something out of a video game.

Ryan: (wheeze) It does a bit, yeah. But there is paperwork evidence that verifies this group -- lame as the acronym is -- actually existed.  They were set up in the mid-1960s by the United Nations to look into unexplained phenomena and for a long time they were a covert operation.  The British Prime Minister knew they existed, and they answered to Geneva, but they weren't known to the wider public until after they shut down three years ago.

Shane:  I'm sure that meeting went GREAT.  'Hey, everybody, thanks for coming down this Monday morning. Erm...thanks for protecting us from alien invasions for the last 50 years and for keeping such a great secret about it.  Here's your reward: you're all fired, and we're going to tell the entire world what your names were and let you deal with the press about it for the rest of your life.  Have a great rest of your Monday!'  (Wheeze) What a bunch of shitty bosses.

Ryan: I mean, based on what little there is to read about how UNIT operated, the Brigadier we'll be talking about really had to go to bat for the organization in front of the Prime Minister a lot over the years in order to keep the operation going.  After the Brigadier died, they were able to keep going for awhile, but as you'll see from some of these stories we'll be looking at today, the organization was considered obsolete long before it was disbanded.

Shane: Okay, so the Doctor first appears in conjunction with this UNIT?

Ryan: Right, so in the 1960s, there was some weird circumstance that led to the London Underground shutting down and the Brigadier, who was only a Colonel in the regular British army at the time, ran into what he described as a "(quote) man with a foppish haircut, ratty waistcoat, and tartan patterned clown pants; a young teenage girl; and a full Scotsman (end quote)."  

Shane: So which is the Doctor?  

Ryan: In this case, it's the first description.  The man with the clown pants on.  (wheeze)

Shane: (wheeze) Do you think he had clown shoes on, too?

Ryan: See, I know exactly what you're picturing right now.  You're thinking of a guy with a depressing Beatles haircut and complete clown regalia, including the extra large shoes.

Shane: I am.  100%  And you know, given some of the things we saw when traveling around London, including on (*with a terribly fake posh Oxbridge accent*) the Tube, a man dressed as a clown running around the platforms underground wouldn't even register as weird on a normal day.

Ryan: (Conceding) That is true.  And on a normal day, I'd agree with you.  But, bear in mind, this was the 1960s -- not the modern day -- and the Tube at the time was closed to the public because of this unknown threat the army was trying to deal with.  And what's even more notable -- the reason why the future Brigadier apparently wrote about it in his official report to the Prime Minister -- is that the man who called himself the Doctor, together with the two other civilians, saved the day.  The details are sparse, but the Brigadier makes it clear that the Doctor is the one who figured out what was really going on and managed to deal with whatever the situation was with minimal casualties.

And that's just the first time the Doctor and the future Brigadier crossed paths.  There are later documents that report the Brigadier -- now promoted from Colonel and officially a Brigadier -- came across the same man and Scotsman, but a different young girl in London just weeks after the military organization known as UNIT was founded.  And AGAIN, whatever the situation actually was, the Doctor and his friends were the ones that helped UNIT save the day.

Shane: Am I the only one who finds it suspicious that the details are always missing?  Like, shady organization set up by the government to look into extraterrestrial happenings?  Sure. (*puts hands in the air in surrender to argument*) I'll buy that.  Governments do shady shit all the time.  But, I mean, things like shutting down the London Underground and alien happenings in the city of London itself.  People are going to notice, right?  And how shitty are the Brigadier's write ups that no one remembers or knows any of the happenings in Britain's capital?  "Dear Prime Minister, stuff happened.  Doctor did some other stuff.  Stuff stopped.  The end.  TTYL."  Sounds like someone was crap at his job and when things just luckily worked out, everyone just swept it under the rug.

Ryan: You see, I would agree with you there.  BUT...there are pictures.  We can't show them to the audience because of copyright, but if you know where to look online, people love to discuss the Doctor and all the people who have gone missing while looking for the Doctor, so.  Investigate at your own peril. But, Shane, here you go.

*the audience can't see the photos hidden by Ryan's open folder, but we see Shane's expression.*

Shane: (*laughs*)  That Doctor looks like a moron.  I mean, I still think the Brigadier must have been crap at his job, but he was bang on his descriptor of the Doctor looking like a clown.  And I take it the guy in the kilt is the Scotsman?

Ryan: Yeah, I looked up what full Scotsman means when I read the description and apparently it means a guy who wears a kilt with no underwear on underneath it.  Before that, I just assumed that it meant this other guy was wandering around the Underground, playing bagpipes and singing songs from Highlander or something.

Shane: You thought this guy was wandering around singing Who Wants to Live Forever over a decade before the film came out.  (wheeze)

Ryan:  Well, when we get into the theories that idea won't seem entirely out of place, I don't think.

Shane: Well, I'm going to go ahead and call a preemptive bullshit on that theory.

Ryan: Noted.

Ryan: (back in Theory VO) The next record of the Doctor's appearance comes about in the 1970s when a man is admitted to a local hospital after collapsing outside of a blue box in the woods.

Shane: There was a blue box in the woods?  Like, human sized or was he scrunched up in it like Shroedinger's cat?

Ryan: We'll get back to the box in a minute, but it's larger than a human, yeah.  In fact, it was something called a Police Public Call Box, which were common to see on city or town street corners in Britain in the 1950s and 1960s. The idea was that if police or citizens saw a crime being committed, they could either phone the police from the box or shove the criminal in the police box and go fetch a policeman.  But what's weird about the box in this case is: 1) it's in the middle of the woods, and not even on like, a hiking path or anything.  But, the legit WOODS.  And 2) it's the 1970s and police call boxes are no longer really a thing at this point.  But, once the man calling himself the Doctor gets to the hospital it gets even stranger.

Shane:  I mean, everything about this story so far feels like the Brigadier spinning a yarn, but keep going.

Ryan: So, the Brigadier gets a phone call from the hospital that a man called the Doctor has been admitted to the hospital.

Shane: Wait, how did the hospital know to call the Brigadier about that?  Was there a national bulletin?  Is the Doctor a wanted man or something?

Ryan: I don't know, man.  Maybe the police just call UNIT whenever something with the label "fucking weird" comes across their desk.  I don't know.  This is just what the report says.

Ryan: (theory voice) Due to a situation UNIT was overseeing in the area at the time, the Doctor's appearance was notably auspicious for the Brigadier, so the UNIT officer went to see if his friend could help with the investigation.  However, when he got the hospital, he discovered that he the man calling himself 'The Doctor' was not anyone he recognized.

Shane: Wait...what?

Ryan: (laughing).  I told you the situation at the hospital is weird.  So, the Brigadier is told that this man who has helped him out before has been admitted to a hospital that is nearby a situation that UNIT is investigating -- a clear sign, in the Brigadier's mind, that this Doctor who is injured is the same one he's met twice before -- and then discovers that it's a completely different man.

Shane: Well, I mean...that's not *too* weird.  I mean, the man is in a hospital, and you usually see doctors in a hospital.  And I'm sure a lot of doctors are known more by their title than their surname.  There are millions of doctors on the planet, so I don't know if two different people wanting to be called Doctor is all that unusual.

Ryan: (with a haughty smile) That makes perfect sense, but listen to this.

Ryan: (Theory voice)  The Brigadier assumed at first that the patient calling himself the Doctor was a coincidence and started to leave the room.  However, he found himself called back when he heard the unknown man call the Brigadier by name. The conversation made it clear that, not only did the patient know the Brigadier's full name, but also knew the circumstances under which the Doctor and the Brigadier had met both times before. Information which, at the time, was highly classified and known only to those in the Prime Minister's office and those who had been in the UNIT planning room at the time of the situational crises.

Shane: Okay, I'm going to call it.  I'm going with spy.  I think the Doctor is a code name and this guy inherited  the call sign and the information from the Doctor's previous operations.  

Ryan: So, you think this is like, a 007 scenario?  

Shane: I mean, I'm sure you'll peddle some alien abduction theory or some other supernatural bullshit, but...yeah.  I'm going spy call sign.  Makes sense to me so far.

Ryan: Well, you might not be a *total* dipshit, but...we'll see.  There's still quite a bit more to cover. This isn't even the tip of the weird iceberg.

Shane: (sarcastically) Oh joy...