#once again poor kamiki

[gabbyp09]

[yuseirra]

Seriously though, it’s so, so strange… Really strange.

What’s odd is that, just now, I opened the manga to reference it for my work, and I’m thinking… Why do I still feel like Ai chose the best possible person among those she could have? Even after seeing everything that became of him?

Why do I still feel like she found someone truly good—someone absolutely worthy of love? If I were the writer, I’d want Ai to meet such a person. So emotionally, I can accept this, but looking at how the story is unfolding, I’m confused about how it’s supposed to make sense. I want it to end this way, and emotionally, I’m convinced it will. But logically, it’s hard to imagine what path the story will take to get there.

How can I still be so strongly convinced that Ai’s boyfriend, at his core, has one of the most genuinely good personalities in the entire series? No one’s ever told me he was a good person. In fact, there’s been a lot of negative impressions about him, but somehow, this feeling pushes through all of that. How?

I can’t shake the thought that someone with a nature like his couldn’t just twist like this on his own.

There were bad circumstances, despair, incredibly poor luck, and the guilt he’s carried—sure, that’s all there. And narratively, it makes sense. He’s written in a way that he couldn’t help but deeply, deeply love Ai, so after her death, of course, he wouldn’t be okay. How could he be?

But something else pushed him beyond the point of normal breakdown. It feels like something shattered him far more than what he could have endured naturally. It’s as if something made him lose his mind completely. It’s too strange. Why do I feel this way?

But when the line about him having a “noble soul” came up, I accepted it immediately. I thought, of course. It felt so obvious to me that I wondered why it hadn’t come up sooner. It was exactly what I expected.

Ai really did find someone who wanted to be with her forever, someone truly good. I am convinced yet again. That feeling strikes me really strongly.

But how did he end up like this? I have some ideas, but I can’t know what the author has in mind. And no matter how much a reader tries to predict a series still in progress, ultimately, it’s up to the author, right?

He’s barely appeared in the story, yet why do I feel so strongly about this?;;; Why do I feel like this? But I’m still relying on that feeling when I draw fan art.

It’s so strange…

He’s an extraordinarily kind person, I think? but… this is strange. Why do I feel this way after seeing everything?;;; What’s going on? Why am I like this?

The good thing is, with a personality like that, I know I can handle him well. I always love these types of characters, so drawing him would be fun. But really… is this right? I mean, he’s someone who is accused of having killed many people and even tried to kill his own daughter—how could this feeling even be correct?

One more thing I’ve noticed—if just two or three good things had happened to him along the way, Kamiki wouldn’t have ended up so broken.

When I think about what the author is trying to show by completely destroying a character who was once so gentle…

I think I get it. There could be a message that can be derived from it, if I'm inferring things right. But… I’m not sure because I'm not the writer themselves, so… haha.

Ah, if I couldn’t sense anything, I’d just shut off my brain and go along with whatever, I wouldn't care at all. I keep feeling like I see something faint, though, so I keep talking about it. But since there’s no certainty, I feel like I’m making a fool of myself.

Ah. Really… I rarely misread these kinds of things. He’s such a fundamentally good person… I wish they’d show more clearly how he ended up like this. He’s worth studying. Since both of the authors are so skilled in psychological portrayal, I’m sure they’ll express this in a way that makes sense. I feel like I could predict it, but it’s still too vague for me to say.

These intuitions are so hard to explain. But they’re usually right. I don’t get these things wrong often… So for now, I’m just writing it down because feelings are fleeting and I would think of different things at different time. These little notes live in the now.

[tsuners]

Pranks are for Friends - Shizumo Week

Shima didn't see it coming (the prank that is, he's known for a long time that he's been in love with a certain bad-attitude tamer).

Rated PG-13

...

Shima had done it now.

To be honest, he didn't know exactly what he did, but he knew he did something, the clues were really quite clear.

Kamiki Izumo was not subtle.

For the past few weeks Kamiki had been staying at Myoo Dharani for a long-term mission and it had been all but a blessing. Ever since they had graduated, Shima had believed that it was only a matter of time before they took their relationship to the next level. Unfortunately for him, Kamiki had other ideas over their 'relationship' (whenever she heard Shima call it as such she rolled her eyes and asked 'What relationship? With who?' all but breaking Shima's poor heart). It was a hard thing to convince the short bundle of hot fire that Shima was, in fact, serious about their relationship (no airquotes were needed on Shima's behalf).

And things had been going pretty smoothly, too. When Kamiki was in Tokyo, it was hard to properly convey his feelings to her but since she was just down the hall, he had a new flame for his everlasting love. There were sly smiles, hands brushing against each other, a few flirty comments here and there, and Shima was beyond happy, often bugging Bon and Koneko with his overabundance of butterflies and smiles.

But then things changed so quickly Shima was sure to get whiplash: no more giggles, no more flirting, no more late nights spent talking out in the garden. Kamiki Izumo had stopped all contact and Shima had no idea why.

"It was going so well," Shima whined to Juuzou, his nephew cradled in his lap, sleepily playing with the edge of Shima's robes, "I thought for sure I was on my way to snagging the girl."

"Girls like that are complicated." Juuzou smiled fondly as he continued to brush out his daughters hair. "Mamushi was the same way. The day after we got engaged she tried to call off the marriage."

Shima sighed, not understanding why men in his family had a nasty knack of falling for women that seemed to have major attitude problems. "I mean, we were like flirting so much and then a few days ago she acted like I don't even exist. We almost kissed the other day! I was like two centimeters away from those sexy lips when this one -" he gave his nephew's cheek a pinch "-interrupted us!"

"Did you say something stupid?" Juuzou asked, knowing full well that women like his wife were great at taking even the smallest of comments and making mountains out of them.

"Not anything more stupid than what I usually say..." Shima sighed again, feeling like he was going to explode. It's been years since he realized just how bad he had it for that shorty and he had been so close, so close to fulfilling his wildest dreams and now all she gave up to him was a cold shoulder.

"I'd say to just let it pass for a few days -"

"Don't listen to him, Renzou," Mamushi stood in the doorway, her hands on her hips and a grimace on her lips, "He's the biggest idiot when it comes to women."

"Wha -"

"Anyways," Mamushi interrupted before her man could say anything in his defense, "the bath is open, Renzou, you should go in."

"'Kay." Shima set his nephew off to the side and laughed as he passed by his brother and sister-in-law as they bickered over how idiotic the former was. His conversations with any of the men in his family usually did no use to his love life, but it was nice to know that they were in just as hopeless of situations as he was in. It gave him some sort of solace to know that they all ended up with stubborn, angry women - gave him hope for the future.

As he undressed for the bath, he wished Bon and Koneko were at the temple so he could get their advice (although Bon usually just tells him to give up on Kamiki) but they were both out on missions, leaving him to himself as he took a bath in the temple's open bath. Stepping instead and starting to wash himself, he went over the timeline once again, trying to remember exactly what set off his dearly beloved.

Four days ago, they had been sitting outside in the garden, their thighs pressed against each other as they looked up at the night sky. Kamiki knew a lot about the stars and was telling Shima all about the star signs, telling him that no matter what way you cut it, his star sign was an idiot. They were laughing quietly about it when he leaned forward, unable to resist. Knowing full well that every time he's tried to kiss Kamiki in the past, it had gone horribly wrong, but this time felt different. Shima rested one hand against the line of her jaw and twirled his fingers into the hair at the back of her head, and leaned forward.

"Uncle! Uncle! Auntie!"

Shima loved his nephew, he really did, but at that moment he just wanted to yell out at him. But regardless of the interuption, Shima had counted that night as a major victory. The next morning, Kamiki had been rather blush-y around him and that had made Shima want to do so much more than kiss her. Unfortunate for him, they were busy all day and it wasn't until late that they saw each other again.

She was coming back from an outlining temple and he was coming back from running an errand for his mother, when they met together a few blocks away from the Myoo. They were walking in a comfortable silence when a girl called out to Shima.

"How's it going, Renzou?" He sheepishly laughed, feeling Kamiki glare at him at the use of his first name by another woman.

"Fine, Tamuri-san." Shima said politely. "What are you up to?"

"Visiting my parents for the week," She gestured to the tofu shop behind them and Shima silently thanked her for clearing up how Shima knew with her, trusting that Kamiki was clever enough to figure out that Tamuri's family did business with the temple. "You're girlfriend visiting too?"

"Girlfriend?" Both Shima and Kamiki said - Shima in more of a surprised, satisfied fashion and Kamiki more in a snappish kind of way.

Tamuri just nodded, her smile bright and Shima took back that silent 'thank you.' He knew that labeling whatever him and Kamiki had would be a big no-no and probably scare her away. Plus, he was fully aware of how she used the term 'relationship' to describe what they had (yes, airquotes included). He didn't want to force anything so instead of his usual 'oh yea, my girlfriend~' he let out a cool: "She's just my friend."

Proud of himself for keeping his cool, he lead Kamiki away and continued their walk back to the temple.

As he stepped into the warm bath, Shima groaned. Ever since then she's been avoiding him completely. And why? He had absolutely no idea! It had gone from them almost making love (okay, just kissing...) to him being completely sauve and considerate and cool to her pretending like she didn't even know who he was.

"What the hell?!" Shima grumbled, lowering himself so he was completely submerged in the bath. ...

"What the hell!" Shima yelled, pushing over the baskets that usually held the clothing of the bath occupants. He had already turned over the rest of the bathroom, trying to find where the hell his clothes had run off to. He distinctly remembered putting them on the second basket on the top shelf. He got down on his hands and knees and tried to see if they fell through to the ground but the only thing he saw was a few dust bunnies and an old squirt gun that must of belonged to his nephew and niece.

He stood up and placed his hands on his hips - bare hips.

All the towels were missing too.

"What the hell..." Shima repeated, feeling like everything in the entire universe was against him. And no that wasn't being too dramatic - it was cold and his heart was broken.

Poking his head outside of the bathroom, he looked both ways down the hall. It was late enough that everyone was probably already in their rooms or, if they weren't, were in one of the community spaces and those were rooms away from the bathroom entrance. His room was down the hall and to the left, past his brother and sister-in-law's room and his nephew and neice's room. Knowing them, they would probably be asleep already with their doors closed.

Quietly making his way down the hall, Shima tip-toed, holding his arms to cover his exposed lower region, trying not to die of hypothermia. Small pools of water were left in his wake but it really didn't matter because he was almost back to his room, all that was left was to turn the corner and make it past his families' rooms.

Just as he was turning the corner, he noticed something very, very, very wrong - the door to Juuzou and Mamushi's room was open. He could heard quiet voices laughing and speaking like hushed school girls (yes girls, ie. more than one) and watched as shadows moved about as the light from the room spilled into the dark hall.

"Shit." he whispered and immediately regretted it. The hushed voices all quieted as soon as the word left his mouth and Shima prayed as hard as he could to Buddha to come and take him straight to nirvana.

Having literally no other option, Shima closed his eyes and crept forward, feeling the light hit his skin.

"Hey Renzou."

Kamiki Izumo was definitely not subtle and the universe was sure as hell not on his side.

"Looking for these?"

The room erupting in a fit of laughter, and Shima peeked an eye open, only to wish he hadn't. Kamiki sat there, his clothes held up in her hand, a smirk plastered on her face whilst Mamushi and her sisters were hysterically laughing. Kinzou was also there, laughing just as hard as the Hojo sisters. Juuzou was trying to look sympathetic but was failing as his wife fell onto his side, trying not to die of laughter.

Shima stood in shock, his hands still covering himself, as Kamiki rose to her feet, making her way over all too slowly.

"Izumo, why?" He whispered as she stood before him, his embarrassment making him want to melt into the floorboards.

"I thought that's what friends do - play pranks on each other?" She handed over his clothes, which Shima took with one hand and immediately placed them back over his lower half.

"Friends."

"Yea, friends."

Kamiki punched him in the arm and slid the door closed with a little more force than necessary.

"Shit." Shima cursed, dropping to his knees. If someone had told Shima that he would ever be so much in love with a woman that he would completely not understand yet still accept said woman's behavior as valid after she pranked him for calling them friends when she herself had threatened to kill him after saying they had some sort of 'relationship' - he would have laughed in their face and said he would never want a woman like that.

But Kamiki Izumo made him do crazy things, made him understand why his dad and brothers where into women that had serious attitude problems, made him want to be honest, made him want to be somewhat of a better man. It still freaked him the fuck out though.

"I was trying to be considerate of you, Izumo!" Shima shouted, his heart clenching in on itself as he felt himself fall even harder for that shorty, angry, complicated, stubborn, total babe. "I swear!"

"Are you crazy, shut up! My kids are sleeping!" Mamushi slammed the door open and hit Shima on the top of the head and just as she went to slam the door shut again, Shima looked up in time to see Kamiki Izumo, that crazy woman, smile into the back of her palm.

Oh yea, he really didn't see any of this coming.

....

hope y’all enjoyed. lol I’ve already written for a few other days but feel free to send in suggestions ‘cause i don’t know what the fuck to do for shopping lolol