#once again not proofreading yay
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megumiluvv · 19 days ago
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It’s Christmas. You’ve almost forgotten about it and rush next door to Choso’s apartment, Yuji’s gifts in hand. You carefully place them under the tree and start to grab your gift for Choso, yet pause to look at the tree.
The ornaments are so pretty and sweet. Mostly items that Yuji has handcrafted for school projects, but also some old ones of Choso’s. An old elementary photo of him catches your eye and you smile. His little kid face is so adorable, but the lack of tattoo across his nose is a little surprising at first. Maybe because you’re used to him with it.
Choso walks into the living room from his bedroom and smiles. “When’d you get here?”
“Just now, still have to bring your presents, so look away.” You smile as he starts to cook breakfast, the Christmas cookies you all decorated a few days ago still in a container sitting on the counter.
You return to your apartment and grab Choso’s gift, you hope he’ll like it. You hide the small box in your pocket and head back to the apartment next door. Choso’s cooking and Yuji’s still asleep, so you continue with the plan you and Choso made last night, grabbing Choso’s boots and a sieve and powdered sugar to make it seem like Santa had visited overnight.
The footsteps lead from the front door to the tree, then lead to the cookies and milk that were set out, then back to the door. Choso looks over and frowns a little.
“Still think the floor will be sticky when it’s time to clean.”
“Quit whining, Yuji has to believe it.”
“The snow would already be melted before he even reached our apartments, we’re under an awning.”
“He doesn’t know any better. He’s too young for practicality, okay?” You huff in exasperation.
“Yeah, yeah, I hear you.” Choso sighs and sets the table. “Sukuna and Uraume should arrive soon.”
Just then, a knock comes to the door. Before either of you could answer, Sukuna opens the door, always walking in like he owns the place. He sees the “snow” and carefully avoids it, knowing better than to mess with Yuji’s image of Christmas.
“He’s still at that age?” He grumbles.
“Huh, speak of the devil and he may come.” Choso mutters to himself. You giggle and help Sukuna set the presents under the tree.
“Is it snowing out there?”
“Yeah, colder than Uraume’s freezer settings.” Sukuna grumbles once more.
“That’s an exaggeration.” Uraume rolls their eyes and sits on the couch beside Sukuna.
You go to wake Yuji and smile at the cute Christmas pajamas the boy is wearing. He clings to you, half-asleep as you carry him out of his room. The moment he sees the presents, his eyes widen, and he believes good Saint Nick stopped by even more when he sees the footprints you created.
“Santa came!” The boy shouts excitedly, hopping from your arms to the tree, looking back at Choso excitedly. “Can I open one? Pleaseeee?”
“Eat first, kiddo, then we can have presents.” You smile and help Yuji to his seat.
He hurriedly eats breakfast and sits at his favorite spot on the couch, trying to hide his excitement for the presents. You set his presents out in front of him, then do the same for the presents for Choso from Sukuna, saving yours for later.
“Woahhh! I got a Human Earthworm poster!” Yuji grins widely. “And spider-man stuff!”
“Damn kid and his spider-man.” Sukuna ruffles Yuji’s hair and smirks as the boy complains.
Choso looks at the present from Yuji, you can see his eyes watering at the little gift. You sit beside him and lean your head on his shoulder, looking at the handmade present. Yuji (with the help of you) made a photo album for Choso, a bunch of pictures from this year’s adventures, and a handwritten note from Yuji saying how Choso is “the best big brother ever in the history of the universe”.
“Yuji, this is so nice, thank you.” Choso barely contains his emotions as he hugs his little brother, much to Yuji’s protests.
You smile softly and stand. “Let’s go play in the snow, yeah?”
Yuji nods excitedly at that and puts his snow boots on. “Yeah!!”
After a long day in the snow and a snowball fight Choso loses, Sukuna and Uraume take their leave and Yuji sleeps in his bedroom. You and Choso clean the wrapping paper mess and the footprints of powdered sugar off the floor. You grab a fake mistletoe plant from the tree and grin to yourself.
“Choso, look up.” You hold the mistletoe over your head.
Choso smirks and places his hands on your waist. “You do understand what that means, right?”
“Mmmhm! That’s the whole point. Now don’t ignore the Christmas tradition, Choso Claus.” You giggle.
He presses his lips to yours and you wrap your arms around his neck, eyes closing and a contented hum escaping your throat. You both hold the kiss for a moment and when you pull away, you place your present in his hands. He opens it carefully and smiles at the locket in the box. Inside the locket is a photo of you and Yuji, you thought it was a little much, but Sukuna said he’d like it.
“
I really like this, thank you.”
Feeling accomplished (and very relieved), you smile and give him a chaste kiss. “Merry Christmas, Cho.”
“Merry Christmas indeed.”
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sweetshuga · 2 months ago
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MS ✰ String you out ✧ CS
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───~𓆩♥đ“†Ș~───
Warnings⚠ Smut!, Suggestive remarks!, strong language!, threesome!, size kink, lowkey breeding kink, pet names, p in v, dp, unprotected sex (do not), oral (m! receiving), squirting, vibe, slight intoxication (but full consent), etc.
Word count. 3k
Note. English is not my first language! Not proofread!
Psa. Matt refers to reader as "pretty" and Chris refers to reader as "ma", just so you don't get confused with the dialogues.
Sum. Everything goes south when you show up at the campus Halloween party in a tiny black witch costume; becoming their prey for the night.
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You weren’t prepared when your best friend came knocking at your door with a big duffle bag, trying to convince you to come to the annual Halloween party, but you had already decided to stay in your dorm room and continue doing your assignments.
"C’mon, don’t be like that, I even bought us matching costumes," she stepped inside, letting you close the door behind her. "I can help you do your make-up, please?" Your friend begged, plopping down on your bed. You sighed and rubbed your temple, "I told you already, I’m not going, that Halloween party will probably be just like a frat one and you know how I am about frat parties."
Your friend crossed her arms with raised eyebrows, "no, it won’t be like a frat party, but I guess there’ll be those fraternity guys there since you know... Campus party, everyone’s gonna be there–" you cut her off, "except for me," causing her to collapse back onto your bed.
"Pretty please?" She pleaded again, jutting her bottom lip out dramatically, making you laugh. "No, like I said–" she cut you off with a groan, "c’mooon, Halloween happens only once a year..." her voice trailed off as a grin made its way onto her lips, "if you go this once, I won’t bug you again, like I promise I won’t ask you to come to frat parties with me."
You couldn’t help but be tempted with the deal, clearing your throat as you looked at her, "you serious?" She nodded vigorously, "yeah, I am, I am dead serious, so? will you?" You sighed and nodded, eliciting a happy "yay" from her.
She immediately spilled the contents from her huge duffel bag, tons of make-up products and two matching witch costumes. You picked one up, inspecting it. The costume was incredibly short and could almost pass off as a long shirt.
"Are you serious? This is what you picked?" She gave you a deadpanned look, "it’s Halloween! You know what they say, the only time of the year to be as slutty as you want." She nudged your arm, grinning, "plus I bet guys would go nuts when they see you in this."
𓆩♥đ“†Ș
Your friend helped you with your make-up, and as you looked in the mirror, you felt like you were someone else, in a good way. The costume was short, but it made you feel a bit more confident than usual. The black heel boots you had lying around – that you’ve been wanting to wear for so long – seemed to match the vibe of the dress.
The long sleeves and overall style of the costume had already started to grow on you. "Not too bad," you said as you curled your hair, "yeah? told you so," your friend grinned triumphantly, making you roll your eyes in a playful manner.
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The moment you arrived at the party, your ears immediately rang at the loud music, "fuck, why is it so loud here?" you shouted to your friend, trying to get your words across the short distance, but the music drowned out your voice.
"It’s always this loud, you’re just not used to it, c’mon, let’s get drinks!" She dragged you towards the table of drinks, expertly weaving through the crowd. Alcohols that you didn’t even know the names of were stacked in an oddly neat way along with soft drinks, water and way too many solo cups.
A girl standing by the table, dressed as the grinch, offered to make you and your friend drinks, halloween specials. As you were sipping on your drink, you noticed a pair of guys, almost identical looking.
"Holy fuck, you know who they are?" you nudged your friend, jerking your head at the direction of the guys dressed as vampires. She followed your gaze and looked at them, "yeah?" she chuckled, "you don’t?" Shaking your head as you kept your gaze on the guys, unable to take it off of them.
"Of course you don’t, you’re always buried in schoolwork," she clicked her tongue, "they’re quite famous around campus you know?" You let out a huff, taking another big gulp of your drink, groaning at the burn of the mixed alcohols. "So? Who are they?"
"The one with the cap is Chris and the one that doesn’t have a cap is Matt, obviously, they’re identical triplets, but I don’t think Nick’s here today." You let out an "oh" sound of understanding before you took another sip of your drink.
"Heard they got a bro code or whatnot, like they wouldn’t hit the same girl," your friend shrugged, telling you all she knew about them, "yeah... couldn’t care less, c’mon let’s just dance or something," you said pulling your friend away from the table of drinks and onto the dance floor. You couldn’t help but feel interested despite your words.
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After one too many drinks and a few stolen glances later, you found yourself in a bathroom, two pairs of hands roaming over your body while you shared a kiss with one of the guys—the one with the cap.
The other one kissed your neck, trailing it down to your collarbone and leaving love bites there before going back to your neck. The one with the cap broke the kiss, "you know our names ma?" He breathed out, "uh... you’re Chris, and he’s Matt, right?" you asked hesitantly, the slight intoxication making your mind a jumbled up mess.
"Mhm—bingo, pretty," Matt whispered, his lips grazing just under your earlobe, causing a shiver to run down your spine. Butterflies swarmed in your stomach as they continued to kiss and caress your body, your body reacting to every word and touch from them, making their faces light up with smirks.
Their fake fangs nipped at your skin, causing you to gasp softly each time. "Say, let’s go to a more comfortable place?" Chris suggested, "Yeah, can’t really do much in a bathroom," Matt chuckled as he added.
They led you out of the bathroom and weaved through the crowd of people dancing. You tried to find your friend to tell her you were going but you couldn't find her in the crowd. Suddenly, you got a message and a photo from her apologizing saying that she was gonna head home with her boyfriend since it was getting late. How convenient.
You sighed and let the guys lead you out of the party, your costume rode up ever so slightly as you tried to balance on the heel boots in your slightly tipsy state. You were very much aware of your surroundings and the two fellas, dressed as vampires, leading you towards their car.
"Where are we going?" You asked, a bit puzzled but willing. Matt and Chris both chuckled in unison at your confused state, "oh yeah, we’re gonna go to our place, you mind?" Chris asked as he looked back at you, "I mean, if you don’t feel comfortable with that, we could always hit up a hotel," Matt shrugged.
You hummed, looking back and forth between them before making your decision, "no, yeah, i’m good with your place," they both visibly relaxed and grinned, "alright then, hop in, pretty," Matt said as he opened the backseat door.
𓆩♥đ“†Ș
The drive to their place was fairly fast, accompanied by small talks and laughter, but that quickly turned into heated kisses and breathy moans once you got inside their house. Stumbling into one of their rooms, they started to strip you out of the skimpy costume.
Gently pushing you on the bed before they started to strip themselves, your gaze raked over their bodies as you waited on the bed, biting your lip in anticipation. Once they were matching you in nakedness, they sat on either side of you, starting to lavish attention to your body once again.
"Fuck, you’re so beautiful ma, so fucking beautiful," Chris murmured against the swell of your breast, "mhm... so pretty" Matt whispered an agreement in your ear before kissing along your jawline, his hand caressing your body, slowing inching down to cup your mound.
You hissed softly when his fingers made in contact with your swollen clit, slick with arousal, and throbbing for attention. The brothers quickly picked up on your growing need and desperation as they saw just how wet you had become.
Your folds glistened in the dim light of the bedside lamp, the obvious need evident in your tone when Chris plunged a finger inside your tight heat. "Fu—ck," you moaned softly, your breathing a lot more ragged now that he was moving his digit in and out of you, slipping in a second finger and smirking at how you seemed to suck in his fingers.
"Someone’s eager," Matt chuckled, his voice a bit deeper than usual, betraying his arousal. The pads of his fingers started to circle your sensitive bundle of nerves, eliciting slightly louder moans from you.
The feeling was already so pleasurable, and you didn’t know if it was the alcohol making you feel more than usual or just the brothers themselves, either way you knew you were incredibly turned on.
They adjusted your position, easily manhandling you, but their touch was gentle– almost tender if you will. The new position gave them more to work with. You were on your hands and knees and they stood on their knees on either side of you, still squeezing and caressing every inch of skin they could touch.
They were big – huge even – it made you feel a bit nervous. They were easily 10", and who knows how thick, standing tall and proud. You gulped softly when Chris gripped your hip with one hand and led his length towards your aching pussy. The tip of his cock slid up and down your slit, making you whine and push back against him.
They chuckled at your needy gestures and sounds, "you’re so responsive ma, ’s intoxicating," Chris emphasized his words with a slap on your ass, causing you to jolt and whine, his hand gently caressing the reddening skin.
Matt, being the one in front of you, caressed your cheek and made you look up at him by lifting your face by your jaw. Smirking when he saw the desperation in your eyes, "what’s up pretty? Can’t handle a little teasing?" He spoke with faux sympathy, making you all the more desperate.
Before you could open your mouth to speak, you felt the sudden stretch, causing you to move forward—trying to get away from the sensation, only to be held in place by two pairs of hands. Chris clicked his tongue, "relax ma," his hands squeezed your ass, sinking his fingers in your plush flesh as he moved forward, filling you completely.
"Oh fu—ck, Chris too big–" your moans got muffled when Matt fed you his length, groaning at the sensation of your mouth on him and the vibrations from your moans as Chris took you from behind.
Chris’ pupils dilated when he saw the way your ass recoiled against his hips with each deep and slow thrust, he gripped your hips tighter and surged forward with increasing fervor. The force of it pushed you forward, each thrust making you involuntarily deepthroat Matt, making them both groan at the pleasure.
Chris suddenly pulled out, and stood up, "I think I’ve got something nice." Matt chuckled when he understood what Chris implied and pulled out of your mouth with a wet pop. You looked at them confused, feeling empty and still aching with need.
A few minutes later, Chris came back with a vibrator and a bottle of lube in hand. You blinked rapidly as your gaze flickered between the brothers, making them chuckle, "don’t worry pretty, we’ll make you feel good, ’promise." Chris sat on the bed behind you, getting in position again.
"Alright ma, up," he playfully slapped your ass before helping you back in the position you were in moments ago, but this time you were facing Chris with Matt behind you. Your moans filled the room once again when Matt entered you, stretching you deliciously.
Your moans were quickly muffled by Chris’ cock, which you eagerly let in your mouth, and the pleasure was already bordering on too much. Your body tensed when you felt vibrations on your clit. Matt groaned loudly when he felt you clench around him like a vice, his hips picking up pace in response.
Your moans vibrated around Chris’ shaft, making him buck his hips faster, fucking your mouth as he gripped your hair in a makeshift ponytail. Your eyes rolled back briefly as Matt hit that spot deep within you, the one that made sparks dance behind your eyes, the one that made you moan louder.
The vibrations of the vibe increased, making your legs shake as you tried to ground yourself from the intense pleasure that you wondered if you could take any more of. That was when Matt held you by your waist and started to target a specific spot—your g-spot.
The feeling of him hitting your g-spot with such precision and the vibrator doing its job on your throbbing clit, made you squirm, trying to get away from the intensity of it all, but their hands kept you in place. With a loud muffled moan you squirted, unable to warn them due to Chris’ cock in your mouth. The brothers let out breathy chuckles when they saw the mess you were making, but didn’t stop nevertheless.
They followed you soon after, their releases filling up your holes. You couldn’t even keep yourself steady on your legs and arms anymore, it was all threatening to buckle under you any second.
Carefully, they laid you down, and seeing the wrecked state you were in just seemed to fuel their desires further. Their semi-hard lengths hardened once more as they gazed down at you. Your disheveled hair, the hickeys adorning your body, Matt’s release trickling out of you and Chris’ dripping down your chin.
Matt’s hand came up to caress your side, causing a breathy sigh to escape your lips, "you think you can go one more round pretty?" Chris chuckled softly, "mhm—ma, don’t think we can get enough of you, think you can take us both?"
"Both? like at the same time?" you whispered, your voice already hoarse from overuse. They nodded, chuckling as they helped you into a sitting position, "yeah, we’ve got lube, but it’s fine if you’re not up for it, pretty—" you cut him off, "well, I don’t mind, i mean... if it can fit that is..." your voice trailed off as you looked down at their laps.
"Don’t worry, ma, we’ll make it fit," is all you heard before they got in position. Matt laying with you on top of him and Chris behind you. The pop of the lube cap made your body shiver in anticipation, the mildly cold oil jolting every nerve as it ran down your slit, making you shudder.
Matt slowly pushed inside, eliciting a soft moan from you, and as you finally adjusted to his size, Chris nudged himself on your already full pussy. "Shh— ’s alright, pretty, just relax," Matt cooed from under you, his arms holding you in place as Chris entered you from behind. You squirmed under their touch, moaning loudly, and the stretch being too much, too big.
Chris grunted at the tightness as he pushed inside, stilling when he bottomed out inside you, "shit ma, so fuckin’ tight," he hissed through his teeth. Matt chuckled, his voice huskier, "yeah, you like how we stretch you, pretty? how fuckin’ big we are?" You could only mumble a "yes" that sounded more like a whimper.
They let you adjust to their sizes—the fullness and the stretch. Their hands caressed your body soothingly, whispering sweet nothings in your ears, and kissing your shoulders and neck.
You finally relaxed around them, moaning softly at the sudden pang of pleasure from being filled to the brim. Your pleasure didn’t go unnoticed by Matt and Chris, chuckling to themselves as they started to move. Your world blurred as you felt an immense pleasure you’ve never felt before.
Your body moved on its own, meeting their thrusts, wanting more of that delicious feeling. And all that only made them move faster – harder – thrusting into you with renewed fervor. Your hands clutched whatever you could hold, grounding yourself so you wouldn’t get consumed by the pleasure.
"Fu—ck pretty, so fuckin’ tight," Chris mumbled an agreement, both of them holding you in place as they took what they wanted. You could only hold on, and moan for them. "Shit, gonna fill you up so good— swell you with my cum, ma," Chris groaned, "Yeah, fuck— you ready for us pretty?" Matt added, muffling his sounds of pleasure on your shoulder.
You mumbled a plea for them to cum inside you—to which they gladly did, groaning and moaning as they filled you up. Their combined release spilled out from the sides, making a mess.
Gently pulling out from your well-used hole, their chests heaved with exertion. In spite of their softening cocks, they couldn’t help the feral, almost animalistic, feeling when they saw the sight of their mixed release trickling out of your pussy.
They both groaned under their breaths before exchanging knowing glances, a silent conversation between them, and slowly alerting you about their insatiable desires for you. "You okay, pretty?" Matt’s hand caressed your cheek while Chris squeezed your ass, "we’re not done with you ma, not by a long shot."
They chuckled as they saw you look at them surprised, but didn’t protest or say no, instead pulled them closer – a silent plea for more. "We’re gonna fuck this pussy so good," Matt whispered in your ear, "and fill you up with our spend until you swell with our babies," Chris added, whispering in your other ear.
Their words were filled with promises, and that alone made you feel immense pleasure, a need for more.
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The next morning, you woke up with a bad headache, and sore all over. It wasn’t a surprise that you had a hangover but it was a surprise when you became aware of your surroundings. You were in an unknown room, entangled with not one, but two guys. It didn’t help that they were brothers, identical brothers.
"Heard they got a bro code or whatnot, like they wouldn’t hit the same girl." Your friend’s words echoed in your head. Guess it wasn’t true after all, their bro code.
𓆩♥đ“†Ș
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wc. 3,086
Isa's notes. I've never written a Chratt fic before, or anything with two love interests, or a threesome in that matter so like... my bad if it's shit.
xoxo 𓆩♥đ“†Ș
Masterlist 𓆩♥đ“†Ș Taglist
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Taglist: @strnilolover @mattsfavoritestar @sophand4n4 @tpwktahlz @lilyyliloo @slut4angstt @pvssychicken @poolover123 @loud-sturniolos @inlovewchrissturniolo @queenshet @chrisstopherfilmed @grace-sturnz @billiesbabya
© sweetshuga
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mimikittysblog · 15 days ago
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♡08:00♡
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Pairing: poly! Husbands! Yunsan x Fem! Wife! Reader (mentions of Poly! Ateez, takes place in The Princess universe)
Genre: Fluff, smut
Warnings: It’s a poly! Story so FxMxM, Vaginal sex, anal sex, oral sex (f receiving), threesome, minor choking. ⚠MDNI⚠ Thats all honestly. If I forgot anything please let me know also not proofread.
A/N: ITS HERE! Yay! I am.. not good at writing smut so this might be shit 💔 I apologize dear friends. Hopefully you’ll still be able to enjoy the dynamic of Yunsan here cause theyre so Aksjsojsksjsksjs. Thank you all for always enjoy my works! It really does mean the world to me! Love you all!
Tagging: @stay-tiny-things @jaerisdiction @bee-gremlin @gae-ping-boosay @faeprincess777 @starygw3n @pinkpearlstar @sweetinsaniiity (if you’d like! You can join my Taglist!)
.✧: ✧: ✧: ✧: ✧✧.
Sunshine just started to seep into the room where 2 of the 9 lovers were cuddling. Here one of them started to flutter his eyes open. Right in front of him, the oldest of them all still sleeping peacefully and so beautifully. San smiled and let out a soft sigh. Relieved he finally gets to wake up in the arms of any of his loves again.
He leans in close and softly kisses Seonghwa on the lips before sitting up and stretching. He then carefully gets out of bed then tucks Seonghwa back in again. He puts on his slippers, boxers and fur coat before quietly leaving the room.
As per his lovers wishes he had started dressing like this more often. It was kind of a freeing feeling so he really didn’t mind. He soon made it to the kitchen where he finds you making their cups of coffee.
“Good morning princess.” He smiles.
“Good morning Sannie.” You reply back still turned away from him.
“Oh? How did you know it was me?” He asks amused before hugging your waist and pulling you to his warm chest.
“You think I wouldn’t recognize my husbands schedules, footsteps and voices?” You say cheekily.
“..I understand schedules and voices but footsteps??” He laughs.
“You all walk a certain way and pace! I’ve been with you for.. wow almost a decade now! I think I should recognize the sounds of your steps by now. And I do!” You giggle.
You then turned around softly and handed San his mug. He then thanks you with a kiss on the head before taking it.
“Almost a decade huh? Feels like longer. Feels like we’ve been together forever.”
“I know what you mean. Well we get to spend forever together now.”
“Hmm. Shall we go on vacation for our anniversary?” He asks wiggling his eyebrows.
“I always say we don’t have toooo but you all never listen so sureee” You say with a sigh.
He can only chuckle before taking a long sip of his coffee that you made to perfection. He then sighs content.
“I’ve said this a million times but I really missed this.”
“We know.. we missed you too our love.” You smile softly kissing his jaw as your fingers lightly traces the hickeys and marks left behind by Seonghwa. “Oh my, he really did a number on you.”
“Hmm you should see how I left him.” He chuckles.
“Owh don’t make me jealous now.”
“Oh?” He quirks an eyebrow as he sets his mug down. He then picks you up by the waist and sets you on the counter.
“No need to be darling. Just say the word. And I’ll do it all to you too.” He whispers against your lips.
“Please.”
“Good girl.”
He then quickly captures your lips in a searing passionate kiss. You pulled San even closer wanting to feel his touch all over you. You moan against his lips as he softly grinds against your clothed core.
“Take me to my room please?”
“Anything for my princess.”
He then picks you up and carries you to your room. There he lays you on the bed as he sheds his fur coat once more.
“I’ve missed you, my beautiful wife.” San groans as he kisses you again. Then begins to trail his kisses down. Leaving marks all over you like he said he would.
“I’ve missed you too Sannie. So so much. I’m so glad you’re home again.” You moan out softly as San begins taking off your robe.
“Me too.” San mumbles as he kisses the valley between your breasts before giving each some attention. Your yelps and whimpers are music to San’s ears.
“Have you gotten more beautiful while I was away darling?” San chuckles as he softly kisses down your body even more. Gripping onto your thighs before slowly taking off your soiled panties.
“I don’t believe so. Why would you say that my dashing husband?” You ask before running your fingers through his hair.
He kisses the top of your pubic bone as he feels your grip his hair. Groaning into your flesh.
“Because my heart is racing much more than it used to.” He says before giving your slit a kiss and a long lick. You moan out loudly before looking back down at him.
“Hmm must be just because you missed me too much.” You giggle.
“Maybe.” He starts before giving your clit a soft kiss. “But honestly, you really do get more beautiful whenever I look at you. It happens even whenever I blink. Like I blink and wow, you’re ten times more beautiful.” He chuckles before feeling you push his head into your awaiting cunt.
“Hush.” You giggle.
“Impatient.” His voices one last time, muffled. He then doesn’t waste another second before eating you out like how he always does. Like a starving mad man that hasn’t eaten in weeks. Which he probably is as this is the first time he’s tasted your pretty cunt in weeks.
Your loud moans and the sound of his tongue lapping you up are the only sounds that can be heard in your room.
“Ugh you’ve gotten so much sweeter too. God my wife truly has the best fucking cunt.” He groans out as he goes even faster and his tongue reaching even deeper in you. Before going back to suck on your throbbing clit.
You could barely hear him as unbelievable pleasure courses through your veins. You could only reply with a whimper anyway.
“Mmm. Well isn’t this a sight.” A voice suddenly sounds from the doorway.
Your head snaps up to see Yunho leaning against the now closed door.
“Y-yunnie..! Mmm! Good morning!” You giggle, completely ignoring the fact that your cunt is being eaten right now.
San simply hums to acknowledge he heard Yunho. Not even pulling away and continuing his ministrations.
“Good morning princess. I see San gets to have his breakfast early.” Yunho says as he walks up to you.
“First come first serve.” San muffles out. The vibrations causing you to moan out louder.
“Fuck sannie!!! My love I’m gonna cum!”
Suddenly without warning, you were being choked. Yunho leans down and kisses your ear as his hand stays on your throat.
“Cum for him.”
So you did. You almost screamed in pleasure as you came straight onto San’s tongue. The boy lapping up everything, swallowing what you gave him happily before pulling away. Kissing your core one last time.
“Fuck she’s so sweet..”
“Mmm let me have a taste.”
The hand on your throat quickly changes target. Yunho pulling San to him, smashing their lips together. Yunho hums satisfied, your taste and the natural taste of San’s lips coating his tastebuds.
“Yunho
 fuck.. me
” San moans out as Yunho’s hand tightens around his throat.
“Aw? Princess and Seonghwa weren’t enough for you baby?” Yunho chuckles.
“You know I can’t get enough of all of you! And those weeks in that disgusting mansion was practically hell now both of you please! Just fuck me?!”
“No need to tell us twice.” You breathe out. Tugging onto San’s hand, you pull him on top of you once more.
“Is this okay sannie? Me under you and Yunho from behind?”
“Yes yes please!” San moans out desperate especially now he feels Yunho’s hands rubbing on his ass cheeks.
“Prep?” Yunho asks softly as he kisses San’s back.
“N-no.. I’m sure my night with Seonghwa is enough.”
“Okay, I’ll still go slow baby.” Yunho says as he quickly strips and gets some lube from your drawer. Rubbing some onto his dick to make sure he doesn’t hurt his husband.
“Sannie put it in..” You whine, also getting desperate.
With a groan, San positions is dick by your entrance before pushing in slowly.
“Oh fuck!” He groans even louder, dropping his head into the crook of your neck.
“Ready for me Sannie?” Yunho asks one more time, kissing San’s spine.
“Yes Yunho baby please! I’ve missed your big cock so much please!” San whines out.
Yunho can only chuckle before slowly inserting himself into San’s hole. Making him sigh out in relief.
“I’ve missed your tight ass too baby.” He whispers into San’s ear before thrusting sharply. Immediately hitting San’s spot.
“FUCK! God yes!” San screams out before both men started moving in a fast pace.
Soon enough a rhythm between you three were formed. Heightening your pleasure immensely. San thrusting in you, as Yunho does the same to San. It really couldn’t get better.
“God fuck! Yes yes!! Ngh I’m so fucking close already!” San groans. Hearing that you claw into San’s shoulders before starting to grind your hips up to meet his thrusts. “OH YES!! Fuck me like that both of you fuck keep fucking me like that!”
“Shit I’m also close!!” You whimper.
Yunho groans and you both know he isn’t far behind.
“C-cum for us Sannie! Please come for us! Show us how you missed us yeah??” You say into San’s ear.
“Shit!! Yes! Ugh I’ve missed you all so fucking much! Ugh!! I’m cumming!! Yes!!” San screams out before giving you one last thrusts and paints your insides white with his warm cum.
The feeling of his dick twitching in you and his abuse on your clit makes the coil in your stomach snap. Your eyes roll back into your head as you scream out in pleasure cumming all of his dick. As finally the pure pleasure on your face and the feeling of San clenching does it in for Yunho.
“God!! F-fuck I’m cumming to shit! Fuck I’m cumming!!” And with that he pumps his cum into San’s hole.
You all take a breather before the men pull out and flop onto the bed. Still panting, you slowly roll over to snuggle up into San, as Yunho des the same on his other side.
“I love you both..” San pants.
“We love you too hubby.”
“I’m glad you three had fun.”
As you three look up, you see Yeosang standing by the door.
“Hi honey. Morning!” You exclaim.
“Good morning princess. Now all of you rest a bit, then go and take a bath. I already set it up for you in the master bathroom.” Yeosang explains.
“Oh how sweet of you darling. Thank you.” Yunho pants out still exhausted.
“No worries baby. Now rest up, after your bath come join us for breakfast. Also Sannie, my room tonight?” Yeosang asks with a smirk.
San laughs out a bit before giving his husband a wink. “Wait for me.”
Yeosang’s smirks widens and he blushes a bit before closing the door.
“Rest well my loves.”
.✧: ✧: ✧: ✧: ✧✧.
© mimikittysblog 2024
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marvelstan0905 · 7 months ago
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Helloooo can you please write one where Ken is just stressed his practices and barely has time with reader and their baby girl so reader surprises him by taking their bby to watch hin practice and the entire time their baby is just giggling and cheering him on?
"Sunshine in the dark"
Husband!Kenji Sato X Wife!Reader [Oneshot]
TW : petnames/fluff/mentions of overwhelm, sadness and guilt/Emi mention/Kenji's mom mention/not proofread yet/mixed POV
Note : Here you go! Hope you enjoy it! Thank you for the love and support!❀
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©all rights reserved. the modification, translation, and plagiarism of my work is strictly prohibited.
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Swing. Strike. Swing. Strike again. At this point Kenji had been out more times than he could count. His head was everywhere and he felt like he was pulled in numerous directions. The guilt and overwhelming feelings that drowned him where far too immense for Kenji. He couldn't even think of a time when he spent a full day, a whole 24 hours with his wife and beautiful baby girl, d/n. Kenji's little princess was so small, just months old and his mind was eating him for not being there for every single moment of her growth. That was only the cherry on the cake. His mother was still not found. All this Ultraman stuff was dragging him further down. Kaiju alerts left and right. Even if Emi was in a far better place and with her birth mom, Kenji couldn't help but worry from time. That was his baby as well. Then his passion, a reason for a smile on his face was going downhill as well. Baseball, God. Kenji felt like he was sleeping on the field. He was losing plays left and right. He couldn't get much sleep because of his own worrying and the Kaiju alerts which were increasing day by day. Along with that, he was doing his best to be a good husband and father. Trying to change and feed the baby at night, help his wife so she can rest as well but it felt like he was more of a problem than solution to his family.
"Goddammit! You're Ken Sato! The Ken Sato! Hit the ball! Hit the ball!" Kenji roared in frustration as he slammed the bat into the ground before picking it up. As the simulation of an old ball park surrounded Kenji, another ball was picthed and he missed once again. In complete frustration he slammed his knee into the bat. Instantly regretting it, he groaned from the pain and grumbled. "Of course. You're being so stupid, Kenji"
"Go Kenji!"
"You can do it, sweetheart! Just breathe!"
"Dada!"
Kenji immediately whipped his heads towards the stands to his beautiful wife, his daughter and his mother. All three of his favorite girls. Even if one was a simulation. It made Kenji's heart skip a beat and flutter in happiness. His baby daughter, sat on his wife's lap clapping and giggling. The infant finding joy in just seeing her father. Those little joys even made Kenji's frustration dissipate. Even for a moment. With a grin, you leaned to kiss your daughter's head.
"C'mon, princess. Say 'Go daddy'" I gently coaxed my daughter whiles she cooed and babbled. D/n just clapped and giggled calling out for her father with endless joy. Kenji's eyes brimmed with tears. This small moment, this joy meant the world to him. It was just what he needed. His sunshine in the dark.
Even so the simulation of his mother sitting right next his daughter and wife was all he needed. With a quick wipe to his cheeks, Kenji readied himself.
Batter up. Ichi. Ni. San. Ball!
With all his might, Kenji swung and finally hit the ball. The ball disappeared into the landscape of the simulation as Kenji dropped the bat and felt so refreshed. This small win. This trivial achievement. It was..everything to Kenji. At this very moment, he just needed this.
"YAY! GO KENJI!" I cheered for my husband. The simulation of his mother followed in suite urging him to run. Kenji went towards the stands and picked up his daughter. With a spin around, he peppered her face in kisses before running three bases with her safely tucked in his arms. At the very last stretch, just three quarters in from the third to home base, Kenji put his tiny princess down and held her hands tight. "That's it! You're almost there!"
"Come on, little one. You can make the home run for daddy!" Kenji encouraged his daughter who giggled. D/n held onto her daddy's index fingers and with his support she waddled towards home base. With some falls and babbles on frustration, she finally got there. Kenji couldn't help but think of Emi when his baby daughter finally made the home run.
"Home run! Let's go D/n!" I shouted from the stands. My daughter giggled and smiled brightly not even knowing what she was being praised for. Blissfully unaware of the impact her bright smile had on Kenji. "Well done, baby! You did Kenji!"
"There's my girl! Well done, princess" Kenji praised his tiny girl and picked her up holding her tight and kissing her tiny face. D/n clung to her father and nestled into his affection.
"Thank you." Kenji murmured as his cheek pressed against hus daughter's soft hair. Thank you to his wife, his daughter and..of course his mother. He really needed this.
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bontentrio · 3 months ago
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SO KISS ME
my first post ever! yay! and it’s because i saw this tweet and i just HAD to write about it. who knows? maybe i’ll just keep writing whenever i get ideas
tw: none + fluff! (not proofread, i’m writing this on a whim) + slightly suggestive in some of them?
keep in mind that is literally my first time writing so be nice if you leave feedback <3 plus english is not even my first language
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SEONGHWA
“MWACK” “MWACK” “MWACK” sounds filled the room, followed by soft giggles that came from the beautiful man underneath you. the sun was going down, and the last golden rays hit seonghwa’s face just right, making him look so heavenly you just couldn’t help but kiss him. one thing led to another, and you ended up kissing every single spot of his face.
“love, what’s up with you?” he asked, brushing a stray of hair that fell on your face.
“you” *MWACK* “are” *MWACK* “so” *MWACK* “beautiful” *MWACK MWACK MWACK* you said between kisses.
“but so are you, it’s my turn now!” he exclaimed, switching positions so now he had you caged underneath him. you giggled, holding his face with your hand and caressing his cheek.
“how did i get so lucky?” you asked, more to yourself than him, interlocking eyes with him.
seonghwa’s eyes softened, and proceeded to kiss your forehead, your cheeks, your nose, and finally your lips. following the order of kisses you did on him.
“that’s what i ask myself every single day” he whispered, going straight back to your lips to taste you even more.
HONGJOONG
you missed him. you woke up in the morning and the bed was cold, no sign of your boyfriend nearby, just his shorts and random shirt he wore as pjs on the floor. you went to work, had coffee with a friend and went back home, just to find an empty apartment once again.
you weren’t mad, you knew hongjoong had responsibilities as ateez’s leader and music producer. and you were so proud of him for that, but it doesn’t mean you don’t miss him. so you decided to pay him a visit to the studio, where he said he was gonna be at, earlier by text.
you found him sitting cross legged in front of his laptop with his headphones on, moving his head slightly to the beat of whatever song he was working on. you smirked to yourself, and thought of a little revenge plan.
you sneaked up on him, wrapping your arms around his torso and kissing him loudly on his cheek.
“AH! baby what are you doing here? don’t scare me like that!” he exclaimed, taking his headphones off and turning his chair around to look at you. he wasn’t angry though, you noticed the little smile on his face.
“i missed you, i want cuddles” you said, pouting. his eyes softened, and his hands left his laptop to wrap around your middle, bringing you closer to him. you were towering slightly over him.
no words were exchanged, the way your eyes interlocked said everything. as if there was a string connecting you both, you leaned in at the same time and shared a sweet kiss. he broke the kiss after a bit, but you needed more. so you left little pecks along his jaw, corner of his mouth, cheeks.
“i missed you too” he smiled.
YUNHO
“babe i need your help with something!” yunho suddenly exclaimed, making you lift your head from your phone with a confused look. he had just finished getting his makeup done for the music video.
earlier that day he asked you to come with him to the venue of ateez’s upcoming comeback. he said you were his “good luck charm” or something, and looked at you with those pretty puppy eyes of his. how could you say no?
you stood up from your seat and approached him. he immediately wrapped one arm around you, while the other hand held a lipstick tube. you raised an eyebrow at him, not following what he meant.
“i need you to put this on and kiss me” he giggled. “the comeback concept is love, and we were asked to take pictures with kisses all over our faces”
“but-“ you attempted to say. “and i really don’t feel like having wooyoung or mingi kiss me when i have you, the one i love the most in the whole wide world, here with me” he interrupted, shaking you slightly as to dramatize the seriousness.
again, how could you say no? he was giving you the same puppy eyes from this morning. you took the lipstick tube from his hand and applied it to your lips. wrapping your arms around his neck, you pulled him closer and kissed him on his cheeks, forehead, jaw, chin and nose. eveywhere but his mouth.
“you missed a spot, babe” he said, pouting. “atiny will kill me yunho!” you argued, giggling. “fine, but take your pictures first, then i’ll reward you”
damn those eyes of his.
YEOSANG
you were convinced your boyfriend was an angel. like an actual angel that fell from heaven or something so magestic that you could cry. he wasn’t doing anything special per say, he was simply enjoying the sun on one of the balconies of kq’s building.
few moments earlier yunho had appeared and hugged him suddenly, earning a confused look from yeosang. since the cameras were rolling, you surpressed a laugh. specially when he didn’t notice said cameras, and simply appreciated the hug from one of his members.
when yunho and the cameramen left, yeosang went back to the balcony, returning to the same spot and enjoying the sunlight once again as if nothing happened. he didn’t notice you either! so you decided to sneak up on him from behind and pressed the cold drink you were holding on his face.
“y/n! you surprised me” he exclaimed with wide eyes. you giggled as he took the drink. you kissed his cold cheek in response, and enjoyed the sensation against your lips. so you kissed him again. and again. and once again just in case.
“what’s with everyone today?” he asked, blushing due to your actions, but turned to face you properly. “you are simply so adorable yeo” you said, kissing him on the lips.
he returned the kiss with a smile, blush impossibly more evident.
SAN
“5 minutes until you have to get on stage! get ready!” a staff member yelled. everyone was making the final touches to the outfits, mics, earplugs, makeup, etc.
“darling come here quick! i need my good luck kiss!” san suddenly exclaimed, and you hurried up to him with a big smile on your face. “you don’t need luck san, you always kill it up there” you said, kissing him slightly on the lips.
“give me a proper one! i didn’t even feel that” he argued, bringing you closer with one hand while fixing his earplug with the other.
you rolled your eyes at him and stood on your tippy toes, not wanting to bring him down to your height because a staff member was still finishing the final touches on his pants. you kissed him again, lingering a bit more than the last time.
“that’s more like it” he muttered “but i’d like one more, just for extra precaution”.
“2 minutes everyone! go!” the same staff member from before yelled. the one fixing his pants stood up and left, work done.
you quickly wrapped your hands around him and brought him down to face you. not only did you kiss his lips once more, but also you kissed him all over his face, carefully though as to not ruin his makeup. satisfied, you pulled away and rushed him to the door.
“done, now go! you’ll be late!” you exclaimed, smile not leaving your face. he looked a bit dizzy, a look of longing evident in his eyes. he was, in fact, not satisfied, and wanted more.
“SAN! it’s time!” seonghwa called from nearby. san shook his head and bit his lip.
“thank you for the extra measurements darling” he said before rushing to the stage.
MINGI
“i want to play a game” you said suddenly, sitting up on your shared bed and throwing your phone behind you. mingi looked at you with a raised everybrow, hand pausing the small touches on your leg, but sitting up nonetheless.
“you are like a math genius right?” you asked, smirking, knowing the answer. the questioning look was more evident on his face now. “i like math, i don’t know if i’m a genius though” he said.
“for every right answer you get a kiss. deal?” you asked, getting closer to him and wrapping your legs around his body. his hands immediately let go of the ipad he was holding and instead embraced you, nodding.
“let’s start easy. 6x3?” you asked. “18” he replied, miliseconds after your question. he earned a kiss on his cheek.
“4x5?” you continued. “20, come on baby you said i was a genius, give me a little more”.
you rolled your eyes and gave him another kiss, on his other cheek now. “fine, 6x7?” “42, i said give me more!” he exclaimed. you kissed his forehead.
“okay! okay, 7x8 minus 6?” you asked. he took two seconds at most to think, before replying “50. pay up”. you kissed his neck this time.
“5x9 plus 10 minus 7” you said. “38, you’re making this easy on purpose as an excuse to kiss me right?” he asked, smiling while bringing you even closer to his body. you giggled “maybe, who knows? i like smart people”, you said, kissing him on the lips now.
he immediately kissed you back, deepening the kiss. his hands started caressing the small of your back while your hands flew to his hair, tugging it slightly. after a while, he broke the kiss.
“hey baby?” he asked, pecking your lips. you hummed in response. “the answer i gave you was incorrect, the real one was 48. just tell me you want kisses next time”.
WOOYOUNG
“do you hate me?” wooyoung asked, crossing his arms. you laughed while you finished applying gloss over your lipstick. you looked at him from the mirror, he had a big pout on his face.
“babe you know i don’t but if i kiss you i’ll ruin my lip combo! and i have to leave in like” you stopped to check the time on your phone “7 minutes”.
you were going out tonight with a couple of friends, and ever since you started getting ready wooyoung has been clingy. not in a possesive “don’t go” type of way, he just genuinely enjoyed your presence. when you started applying your lipstick, he was entranced by how good the color looked on your lips. which led to him asking for a kiss. reason why, you now have a pouty wooyoung standing crossed armed behind you.
“enough time for kisses! you can apply your gloss again later” he said, caging you between the vanity and himself the moment you stood up from your seat. you turned around and rolled your eyes. “i’ll kiss you later! promise!”
“nooo, i need one kiss now or else i’ll die!” he said dramatically, earning a genuine laugh from you. his face came closer to you, and brushed his nose against yours “please?” he begged.
you can’t say no, not to him at least. you kissed his lips lightly, as to not ruin your lipstick too much. it was enough to leave a faint mark though. as to what happened next, you just couldn’t help yourself: you started kissing all over his face, definitely ruining the lip combo you worked so hard on. but he just looked so pretty with that color all over his beautiful face!
once you were done with him, wooyoung checked himself on the mirror and smirked. “tell your friends you’ll be late, i want to see how this color looks on other parts of my body”.
JONGHO
it wasn’t a normal sight to wake up from your nap alone, and find out that your boyfriend left your side to cook. in fact, you could count the times you saw him cooking with one hand, and it was usually food yeosang asked for.
the smell that came out from whatever he was cooking was amazing though, momentarily making you forget he was even there in the first place. but of course, not for long, since you had a clear view of him chopping some carrots while looking extremely attractive. how can this be possible? you asked yourself. never in your life had you felt so atteacted to someone who was cutting vegetables.
you walked up to him, wrapping your arms around him and kissing his neck. “that smells amazing love” you said between kisses.
“oh you’re awake? i thought i’d have to wake you up myself” he replied, pecking your lips before returning to the carrots. he also tasted heavenly, and it was just a small peck. so you turned his face back to you again, and kissed him deeper, your tongue tasting his lips more.
“the taste is so good too jongho, you should cook more often” you said, breaking the kiss and pecking his cheek. he started blushing, hard and unable to say anything back. every time you both kissed left him speechless.
“thank you” he managed to say. so you did what everyone should do when your partner is a blushy adorable mess: you started kissing him everywhere. cheeks, lips, nose, neck, shoulders, everywhere you could reach.
“yeah i think i should cook more often” he managed to say again in between your kisses, forgetting about the vegetables and the simmering pot, while wrapping his arms around you and allowing you to keep doing your mischief.
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earlysunshines · 6 months ago
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once in a moon
pham hanni x fem!reader ; angst, fluff
synopsis: hanni meets the new girl and she's oddly familiar -- familiar in a way that makes her heart ache.
warnings: childhood friends to something less, more, and in between, to lovers ; basketball player reader ooo and hanni is in student gov ; angst AND pining omg ; minji a victim (bystander of idiots) always ; hyein fr plotting ; THERE'S ONLY ONE BED??? ahahaa ; making out YAY ; anything else I didn't mention ; guess what... KINDA proofread muahahaha
a/n: mmm quite long like... looong and idk how I feel ab the pacing mmm but I like this one I think yes mm hmm ≧◡≩
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hanni lets hyein drag her to the girls' basketball practice, the underclassman chattering excitedly about new girl who had made the team the same day she transferred. despite acting annoyed, hanni is intrigued. according to hyein, the new girl not only makes 9 out of 10 three-pointers, but is also stunning.
“even haerin thinks she’s really pretty, and she never admits things like that, hanni.”
“wow, she must be a hot shot then,” the older girl responds sarcastically, making hyein roll her eyes.
“shut up, don’t come drooling to me when you finally meet her and she becomes the girl you’re fixated on for at least the next month.”
“okay, okay, i get it. this new girl is something special or whatever.” hanni continues to be dragged towards the basketball courts, hyein steering her away from where the guys practice and toward the bleachers in front of where the girls are. “is their practice even over?”
“haerin said they end at five, that’s in five minutes. we’re right on time!”
“i can’t believe i let a child drag me back to school after hours.”
“you were already staying after! you literally have to plan half the events, fundraisers, and whatever else you do
 you were literally in mr. ahn’s class with minji and dani.”
hyein got hanni there, making hanni scoff jokingly. the younger girl sits down in the bleachers' second row, watching all the girls finish running up and down the court. once they finish, a few sit down tiredly, sweat making their faces glow in the light that seeps through the windows.
hanni already knows half the basketball team thanks to haerin, so it shouldn’t be too hard to spot this wonder of a girl. she scans the team, her eyes skimming over the players she’s familiar with until they land on a sweaty, uncovered torso and defined abs. her eyes widen – partly from shock at how someone can be built that well, but also because the girl looks oddly familiar.
as she continues to stare, trying to place where she’s seen her before, hyein nudges her. "see what i mean? she’s something else, right? she’s in your grade, you should make a move or become friends with her."
hanni nods absently, still figuring out why the girl seems so familiar. the new girl’s face comes into view as she turns to grab a water bottle, and hanni’s jaw drops.
"it can’t be," hanni whispers, more to herself than to hyein. 
hyein looks at her curiously. "you know her?"
hanni swallows hard, a mixture of excitement and nervousness bubbling up. "yeah, i think i do."
the younger girl grabs hanni’s wrist and starts to drag her away again, this time towards haerin, who’s talking to the familiar girl.
when hanni meets your eyes right after you glance down, both of your eyes widen at the same time, the revelation hitting the two of you just as hard. recognition floods in, bringing back memories of how you know each other.
hanni can’t believe her eyes, it’s you – l/n y/n.
ïżœïżœ
you and hanni knew each other alright, she was the main part – one of the few people that you remembered in detail – of your childhood. if anything, she was your childhood.
both of you had known each other since second grade, which led to a strong friendship. you spent your days growing up together, laughing and playing, inseparable through the years. from recess adventures to sleepovers filled with whispered secrets and shared dreams, your whole worlds revolved around each other. you had countless inside jokes, understood each other’s moods without a word, and could communicate with just a glance. your families even joked that you were joined at the hip, and as you grew, so did the bond that seemed unbreakable.
when middle school rolled around, things got rocky – just as things always do at this age. 
you and hanni still spent most of your time together, but she was a social butterfly, making so many new friends and putting herself out there to the point that it was hard to keep up. 
of course, you wanted to be there for her, but your timid nature never really changed. you trailed along whenever she went out, feeling like her shadow as she laughed and joked with everyone else. hanni always made sure to check on you, reminding you that your presence mattered to her, that she appreciated you. yet, despite her kindness, it was draining. the constant effort to blend into the background while staying close to her took a toll on you, leaving you both comforted and exhausted.
you stopped tagging along because the only reason you ever did was to spend more time with her. it was strange, the feeling you had when you were with hanni or even thinking about her. you had never felt anything like it. 
she would smile while with her friends, and you fought back the urge to smile back. sometimes she’d rest her hand on your arm, sending a shiver through you. when she looked you dead in the eye, you would always retreat. she did things to you that weren’t explainable. they were foreign, making you uneasy and weak in the knees to the point that it all just frustrated and confused you.
your heart yearned for her, and you knew that was dangerous. she had so many other friends and people there for her; it was almost like she was growing out of you. you felt like a thorn in her side, something she needed to pick out in order to really break out of her shell. it hurt to see her laughing, smiling, and being so touchy with her new friends when it used to be just with you. you wanted it to stay as just you being the light in her life. 
the person you had known most of your life was growing into someone lovable, someone you loved more than words could explain. and what did you do? you were thirteen; what else could you do other than distance yourself and sulk? the depth of your feelings overwhelmed you, and the only way you knew how to cope was to retreat, watching from the sidelines as she blossomed without you.
you stopped tagging along, visited her house less often, and dismissed more than half her efforts to see you because every time you spent time with her, your heart ached. you saw the stars in her eyes, and it felt like you were some meteor drifting away from her, destined to lose her light.
and besides, you would soon be distant from her physically as well. it was inevitable with your dad’s new job, which promised to support you and your mom much better. the move would take you a continent away, so what was the point of getting closer? it seemed wiser to start distancing yourself now, to make ripping the bandaid off less painful. 
of course, this didn’t go unnoticed. hanni grew increasingly confused as to why you were being so distant. was it something she did? were you having trouble? what was going on with you? she wanted to talk to you about it, but you always pushed her away, no matter how hard she tried. even when she managed to get you to open up just a little, it never provided a clear answer. frustrated and hurt, she began to distance herself as well, finding it hard to connect with someone who now seemed so different. she began to spend more time with her other friends, always feeling like something had been missing with each outing.
she just wanted her y/n back, but it felt like the y/n she had known had transformed into someone so foreign that she couldn’t even tell if it was really you anymore.
before she could do anything about the rift, just wanting you back again as her friend and the person who made her heart do jumps in her chest, you had to break the news to her.
hanni remembers it all so clearly, seeing you at her doorstep for the first time in at least a month without any warning before. even with everything that had happened between the two of you, she was happy that you were there in front of her.
“y/n, hi.” a small smile immediately graces her lips, she’s relieved. she looks up at you a bit, you’ve always been taller, but with all the distance and lack of time to be around you, it seemed that you had grown a bit more than she had thought. “what are you doing here?”
your expression is stone cold, with a little hint of hurt and regret. “i’m leaving tomorrow.”
“what do you mean? on vacation or something?”
“korea, hanni. my dad got a good job there, we’re moving.”
“y/n, what are you saying? it’s only for a little while, right?” her brows crinkle, she tries to read your face, praying that this is a joke. “right?”
you don’t answer.
“y/n, how long have you– when did you find this out?”
“six months ago.” you mutter bluntly. “i just, didn’t want you to be so surprised when i wouldn’t be in school.”
her voice cracks and you almost crack too. “y/n, you’re fucking lying to me right now. are you serious? and you spent those eight months talking to me three times a month max?”
for the first time, you look her in the eye, then mumble, “i’m sorry.”
“y/n, how could you just drop this on me? we have to– when will i see you again?”
“i don’t know hanni, but you’ll get over it.” hanni is shocked by the slight tone of anger in your voice. “you have all these friends and people who admire you, why do you care so much about me? just get over it.”
“you’re fucking kidding. get over you? y/n, you think i can just do that like this?” she snaps her finger to emphasize her words. you flinch. “is this why you’ve been avoiding me? because you’re jealous that i have more friends than you? you pushed me away because i had friends?”
“you’re calling me a loser?” her wording makes you scoff. “i didn’t know you could be so fucking rude.”
“that’s not what i meant y/n,” she pauses, her expression softening. “you know what i meant, i just–”
“i do know what you mean. fuck this hanni, you’ll be rid of me anyway.” you spit, then turn around. hanni walks after you, grabbing your wrist and pulling you back. “what the hell do you want?”
her eyes shine from tears starting to line her eyes, she looks at you desperately. “y/n, please don’t leave.” her grip tightens. “please, i can’t lose you.”
hanni remembers watching you gulp, seeing a split second of regret, sorrow, anger, and everything in between flash across your face. “i’m sorry.”
she recalls crying for hours on end, trying to text you apologies and heartfelt messages, begging you to see her just once more. you tried desperately to ease the amount of hurt hanni would feel throughout those eight months, but it only made it worse. the more you distanced yourself, the more she felt the sting of your absence, and your efforts to protect her heart only seemed to break it further.
–
she stares at you, frozen in place. your features are the same, just matured and even more appealing. her eyes trace the curve of your nose, the shape of your eyes, and down to your lips—the lips she used to stare at for a bit too long back when you would fall asleep in her bed years ago. it's you, there’s no doubt about it. she knows you like the back of her palm even if years have passed. 
you’re taller now, much taller, by at least eight or ten centimeters. you almost tower over her, your height a testament to the years you've spent playing basketball. the way your eyes narrow gives her that same feeling you had given her years prior. you still have that same intensity she always found endearing, and it washes over her in a wave of emotions.
“y/n,” she practically breathes out. “you’re– you’re here.”
your jaw tightens as you stare down at her, ignoring the sweat drop that falls off the end of your chin. 
there are goosebumps forming as you stare back, realizing that after years of trying to forget the face you admired the most for so much of your life—years of convincing yourself you could live normally even when thoughts of her crossed your mind—you thought you'd be fine if you ever ran into her again. you believed you had moved on, even after the big argument and the years of forcing resentment, but that's not the case.
far from it, because hanni looks even prettier than she did back then, her features more mature yet still warm and achingly familiar. her eyes are as bright as ever, still holding that wonder and curiosity despite how poorly you treated her with your sudden news and departure. 
as you meet her gaze again after all these years, you feel the world stop spinning beneath your feet. she's stunning, more beautiful than ever, and it takes your breath away.
you force yourself to stop gazing and look over to haerin, rubbing the sweat off your face and mumbling, “i have to go, my aunt expects me back.” before you pat her on the shoulder and hurry off, leaving hanni’s whole world shaken up.
haerin just nods, then looks back at the shorter girl. “what’s up with you, do you know y/n?”
“um, yeah.” hanni says simply, still watching you while you walk towards the girls locker room. you turn back to glance at her and hanni feels her heart sink. “we knew each other in middle school.”
“oh really? she used to live around here?”
hanni hums.
and she’s back now, leaving and returning with no fucking warning. 
–
you spent the rest of the evening and night (really until you fell asleep) thinking of hanni. of course she still lived in town, she was never far from your aunt anyway.
moving back to where you grew up allowed thoughts of hanni and your past to resurface. the chance of running into her wasn’t too high, or low for that matter. you lived with your aunt, just a twenty-minute bus ride from your old house—the house filled with memories you had pushed down and shoved away for the sake of your sanity.
the whole reason you moved back was because the schools here were better, and you genuinely preferred your hometown to the overwhelming city. the academic life here was better, less overwhelming, and all your favorite spots—restaurants, cafes, parks, and other places you’d wander off to back then—were conveniently located here. what made it even better was that your favorite basketball court was just a short five-minute walk from your new home, perfect for cooling down and improving your skills during practice.
you had thought moving here would be great, even if you ran into hanni, because you believed you had moved on from her. it stung a bit more now that you actually had ran into her, but at least you didn’t share any classes or lunches with her, and you hadn’t seen her in the hallways after a week at the new school. so what if you both attended the same place? things were still going your way. 
the counselor sits you down and slides you a paper. you quirk a brow looking at it. 
“what’s this?”
“miss l/n, i’m afraid they’ve messed up transferring the credits you had in korea, so we had to rearrange your classes and drop your courses for others. i apologize for the trouble, but it’s for the sole purpose of graduating.” she explains, then points to your paper. “if it makes you feel better, these classes are much easier than the ones you had previously. it’s all going to work out in the end.”
you huff as you review each change. now, you have two free periods, which is a definite plus compared to your packed schedule before. the order of your classes has completely shuffled, except for two classes—thankfully, at least those will be easy to find. on top of that, your homeroom has changed, which you don't mind at all, especially since the previous teacher had greeted you with the nastiest glare upon your arrival.
there’s nothing you can do to change it anyway, you’re just trying to graduate and get direct admission into the university downtown at the end of it all. if your schedule is changed in order for that to happen, then so be it.
“thank you.”
“the classes that changed are all upstairs, so the constants are still down on the first floor. your lunches have changed too, but you can sort that out easily with the teachers. i hope it’s not too much for you.”
you wave your hands in the air. “it’s fine, really. i’ll just get going then, thank you.”
–
it is everything but fine.
the bell had already rung, the halls were empty for the most part, and had just made your way upstairs. you find room 242 after searching for at least two minutes, your base physics class got dropped so now you’re taking advanced honors environmental sciences, unfortunately. 
after knocking twice on the door, it’s opened by a middle-aged man around two centimeters taller than you. he greets you warmly, “ah, you must be the transfer? miss l/n, is that right?”
“yes, that’s me. y/n l/n.”
“great, come on in. we’ve just started, but i can help fill you in.”
“thanks.” 
you walk in and clutch the strap of your bag with one hand. every head turns to face you, each classmate clearly intrigued by the newcomer—by you.
“ah, right. i’m mr. wei, why don’t you introduce yourself to the class?”
“oh, um.” you clear your throat, looking down at some random desk as you begin, “my name is y/n l/n, it’s nice to meet you all.”
looking up, you meet someones eyes in the second row, and of course it’s no one other than hanni pham, her eyes widened slightly. her brows furrow just barely at the sight of you and it makes you bite down on your teeth.
“alright, you take that empty seat by the window next to minji. could you raise your hand minji?”
a girl with dark hair raises her hand, seated directly behind hanni. your shoulders sink slightly, but you push down any feelings and walk over to take the seat. thankfully, there isn’t much commotion. sure, you’re new and everyone’s curious about you, but it’s just a tuesday morning and everyone has other concerns. and you? you have to focus on sitting behind her.
you set your bag down and sit next to minji, offering her a small smile before turning your attention to the board.
hanni fights the urge to glance back at you. she considers asking minji for a pen as an excuse, but hanni always has her own writing supplies and minji would likely brush off her request, making her feel foolish in front of you. she sighs softly, forcing her gaze to stay fixed on the front of the room, struggling to pay attention despite you sitting right behind her.
“did they mess up your schedule?” minji asks you quietly as mr. wei starts his lesson. “they do that with a lot of new kids.”
“oh, yeah. i wanted direct admission to the uni, ador has a lot of good programs for what i want to pursue so
”
“ohhhh,” minji nods, then picks up her pen. “yeah, a lot of the advanced honors kids are doing that, everyone here is actually.”
that means hanni falls into that. “oh, really?”
“well, most.” minji shrugs. “anyway, before he starts actually teaching; i’m minji, nice to meet you.”
“nice to meet you too.”
she smiles and slides her notebook. “we’ve had a few lessons prior, so if you need notes or anything just snap a picture.”
“thanks, i appreciate it.”
“it’s nothing, you’ll get the hang of it.”
hanni hears the whole exchange happening behind her, and she desperately wants to join in. there's nothing she wants more than to talk to you again, maybe even steal a glance at you for a little longer. it's been so long, and there are so many unanswered questions. hanni can't even tell if you're real or just a figment of her imagination. the longing to reconnect is almost overwhelming, but she hesitates, unsure of how you would react after all this time – unsure of how she’ll be talking to you again.
–
it turns out that hanni is in every single class that has changed, so ⅔’s of your classes. it was surely something to see her face everytime you had to introduce yourself to everyone in every class. however, minji and a few girls from your team had also been in each class, so it was good to know that you weren’t fully singled out.
minji makes an attempt to invite you over to sit with her at lunch, but once you see hanni at her table, you quickly make up an excuse. 
“oh sorry, the girls on the basketball team wanted to talk to me more about um, our plays
” you poke your tongue at your cheek. “but maybe another time?”
“oh that’s chill, don’t worry about it! another time is great, i’ll see you back at class then!”
you force a smile, aware of hanni's gaze following you as you walk over to where haerin, yunjin, and rei sit.
minji settles down in front of hanni, waiting for hyein and danielle to join as she pulls out her lunchbox. taking a bite of her chicken and rice, minji glances over at you before turning back to hanni. "the new girl seems pretty nice, huh?"
"i guess," hanni mumbles, chin resting on her palm with her lower lip slightly protruding.
of course, you end up in every class with hanni, and naturally, you sit next to her best friend in each one. despite the circumstances, you find yourself avoiding her just like before. it’s frustrating.
“you got something against her?” minji jokes, not expecting hanni to let out a big sigh.
“i don’t know.” she starts, watching you smile at haerin. “we knew each other in middle school, but she can barely look at me.”
minji stops chewing. “really?”
"yeah, you can still talk and be friends with her!" she catches herself and raises her hands in defense. "i think she's great, i mean, we just... drifted apart."
"aw, it happens though. you sure i can talk to her though? like, certain?"
"yeah, it's no big deal, really." hanni resents you for making her cry for four hours straight that day, but deep down, she knows you're a sweetheart. she could never hate you, and she wouldn’t do anything to prevent you from simply having a social life. "it's nothing."
"alright, whatever you say," minji says, then pulls out another bag from her backpack. "yo, i brought some bread from the bakery."
hanni's pondering is interrupted, and her eyes light up when minji holds out the small paper bag with her favorite milk bun inside. she eagerly grabs it and smiles with her teeth, causing minji to snicker and roll her eyes.
you catch the whole thing in the corner of your eye, absentmindedly smiling. 
–
“niiice one y/n!” your coach claps his hands after you land a half-court shot with ease. “alright, that’s it for the day! back and forth across the court ten times and you’re free to go. good job everyone, make sure to rest up for the game tomorrow! be here by 4:30, got it girls?”
“yes coach!” the team says in unison. 
you run a hand through your slightly damp hair before deeply inhaling. yunjin finds you and you smile tiredly at her, the two of you meet at one end of the court and start to run. by the time you’re done, you’re chuckling at how tired yunjin is as you recover.
“the hell are you laughing at?” she says in between breaths, “you’re no better than i am right now.”
she’s right, you’re both drained and beat from practice, but it really makes everything funnier than it is in the moment.
you’ve settled in well after nearly a month, getting closer with the basketball team and even branching out to meet their friends (all thanks to yunjin, who had a bit of a reputation and popularity, and an additional soft spot for you). you weren’t popular like yunjin or anything of that sort, but you were content with where you were.
minji had also started talking to you more, and the two of you had gotten pretty close, even hanging out after school before your practices. she occasionally caught you at her parents' bakery too, often mingling with you while you had a pastry in your mouth. though minji was still a bit confused about the tension between you and her best friend hanni, it didn’t trouble her too much. you kept to yourself, and really, you were a very calm, sweet person.
the next day, minji catches you in between classes. you’re grabbing something from your locker when you feel a tap on your shoulder, turning around to see her.
“game day?”
“oh, yeah.” you answer as you shuffle through your bag. “you coming?”
“i was going to go with my group.” minji’s group consisting of hanni, you take note of that. “haerin never really says anything about the games, but we love to support her. hyein also wants to watch you play.”
you giggle and close the locker door. “the underclassman?”
“yeah. don’t tell her i told you but she’s kind of a fangirl.”
“of me?”
“yeah, she thinks you’re sick.”
another laugh leaves your lips, now you’re walking over to class with minji. “well, i’m not against making another friend.”
“pftt, she’s something though.” minji jokes. “how about two friends?”
“two?”
“i think you and hanni would be good friends, you know?” you almost freeze on the spot. “she told me you guys drifted in middle school, maybe you guys can mingle again, that would be nice, wouldn’t it?”
your whole body tenses as you walk through the classroom door. you spot hanni sitting next to yunjin, her eyes meeting yours the moment you enter. you quickly look back at minji, shrugging and trying your best to play off your hesitation.
"doesn't sound bad at all, why not?" you say, forcing a casual tone into your voice.
little did you know, minji had something up her sleeve. while you set your bag down and pull out your history notes, she walks over to hanni. minji looks at hanni intensely, then glances at you. ever since she heard about the vague fallout between you and hanni, she had been itching to know more—and possibly rekindle the old spark. it wasn't like anything bad had happened between you two (she assumes); people grow apart, but they can also find their way back to each other.
you glance at hanni before class starts, not expecting her to already be looking at you. as soon as you two make eye contact, hanni turns away, picking up her pencil. 
– 
minji manages to convince—more like drag—hanni out of her house and into her car. haerin has a basketball game against the rival school, so hanni is basically obligated to go. to be fair, why would she complain about seeing haerin run up and down the court and smugly smile when their team scored a point? it was fun to see haerin in her zone, and hanni always enjoyed the excitement of the games.
but this time it was different, with you in the starting lineup and being the new star on the court. 
she sat on the uppermost level of the bleachers with hyein and minji beside her. hyein had linked her arm with hers, cheering on for haerin. 
hanni’s eyes are glued to you most of the time. it’s not her fault you had control of the ball so often, scoring here and there. she couldn’t keep her eyes off you even when you weren’t actively playing; you could be watching the ball or assessing the situation while your teammates defended, and hanni would still be looking at you. while you had been on the sidelines temporarily, she noticed how the sweat made your skin glisten, and hanni wondered what had happened over the four years for you to develop such toned arms and athletic shoulders. you looked strong and confident, a far cry from who she remembered.
“hanni, you know the ball is on the other side of the court, right?” hyein nudges the older girl, then looks in the direction that hanni is looking. “seems like someone caught your eye.”
hanni shoves hyein over. “stop that.” she scoffs. you take your eyes away from yunjin after she scores, then your eyes meet hanni’s, and hanni pauses in place momentarily before looking over to yunjin.
you narrow your eyes at her, biting the inside of your lip.
–
the phone in your pocket rings, you fish it out to see minji’s contact name on your screen.
“hey?”
“where are you?”
“oh, locker room.”
“meet me at the front of the school after! i have a cookie and friends.”
you laugh before answering, “right, thanks minji. give me five.”
after rinsing your face with some cold water and dabbing off the sweat on your neck, you strip out of your jersey and throw a hoodie over. yunjin slaps you on the back on the way out and you wince, shooting her a glare – which only makes her laugh more.
you walk out the entrance and look around for your friend, eyes lighting up when you see her with her own respective group. haerin is already tehre, when she spots you she waves. when hanni sees you though, she looks hesitant. 
“hi.” you greet. “did you guys enjoy the game?”
“you won! how could we not?” an unfamiliar girl says. the girl looks younger, but she’s taller than the rest of the bunch. “i’m hyein by the way!”
“ohh hyein, minji mentioned you.” you giggle before adding, “didn’t know you’d be towering her.”
the bunch laughs – hanni smiles at the remark – and so do you.
“anyway, i’d love to stay and talk but i need to be home soon.”
danielle tilts her head and asks, “where are your keys?”
“oh, i’m walking.”
“dude,” minji says in disbelief. “after running up and down the court that much? no way man. i can give you a ride.”
waving your hands in the air frantically, you assure, “no, no. it’s fine, i mean, more cardio for me.”
“you’re getting in my car bro.”
and now you find yourself in minji’s car after she convinced hyein—the only person close to her height—to drag you along. you couldn’t argue with hyein; she’s young, and the little pout she gave you was enough to make you relent.
that’s how you end up in the backseat with hanni.
hyein called shotgun, and you weren’t going to argue, especially since minji dropping you off was a last-minute decision. but if you had known you’d be bundled up with hanni alone in the backseat (danielle decided to tag along with haerin, avoiding the tension), you would’ve found a way to avoid this whole situation. to make matters worse, some random, very heavy box was taking up a seat, leaving you and hanni with no space in between. just your luck.
the youngest grabs minji’s phone and plays some random pop song, eagerly humming along. 
“yo, type in your address.” minji tilts down the mirror above and looks at you through it, raising a brow. hyein hands you the phone and you manage to brush arms with hanni as you reach over. 
hyein turns up the volume after you hand her the phone back. your place is less than ten minutes away, but it feels ten minutes too long.
you try your best to cope with the tension in the air, and hanni does too. she’s angled toward the window—away from you—and you’re sitting in the middle seat, trying to focus on the road. minji turns a little too aggressively at one point, causing you to lean against hanni, making you both blush equally.
“sorry,” you mumble.
“it’s fine,” hanni replies, her voice still as sweet as you remember. it's still as soft and reassuring when she quietly adds, “minji’s not the best at driving sometimes.”
as soon as she says that, minji’s back to driving straight ahead. you can’t help but laugh softly, unable to fight it. “it’s not too bad,” you say, feeling a little of the tension ease with the shared moment of humor.
neither of you share anything else after that, the silence squeezing you two. 
when minji reaches your place and parks in front of it, hanni has to get out so you can. as you step out, you make eye contact with her, and something electric runs up your spine. you watch her climb back into the car, her gaze lingering on you for a moment longer before she settles back into her seat. 
minji rolls down the drivers side window. “oh yeah, here’s your cookie.” she says, “see you next week! enjoy your weekend!”
“you too!” you respond, then peek at hyein. “nice meeting you hyeinie, can’t wait to see you around.”
her mouth opens before she smiles at you, teeth and all. “yeah, me too!”
even hanni rolls down her window, catching you by surprise. your eyes widen just a little when you see her looking at you, smiling. 
“good game y/n, you’re really good.”
you inhale, then breathe out your response, “thanks.” and purse your lips into a smile.
minji waves once more before driving away, and you head inside. no one is home yet, so you quickly drop your bag off in your room, head to the bathroom to clean yourself up after being sweaty for over two hours, and finally flop onto your bed once everything is done. the encounter with hanni replays in your mind, the tension and awkwardness still lingering as you try to relax and unwind.
hanni lingers in your mind, she’s always been in the back of it anyway.
you don't know if it's even possible to become friends with her again. it's what you really want, but can you even achieve that? you're avoiding her left and right, failing to hold eye contact or maintain a conversation with her for more than three seconds. yet, the fact that she had initiated the interaction this time, even adding something lighthearted in the car, sparks something within you. every small moment between you two, however insignificant it seems, ignites a huge feeling inside of you. it’s a confusing mix of hope and fear, leaving you wondering if there's a chance to mend what was broken. it’s all your fault anyway -- basically.
–
“alright everyone, please settle down.” mr. wei says. he claps his hands and looks as happy as ever. “i have an important announcement! so as you know, we a big project this year. i’m going to introduce it today and give you a small rundown. oh! and by the way, this project is worth half your grade.”
as you sigh, you catch hanni in the corner of your eye, putting her head down in defeat and muttering a small “fuck.” in response to the news. 
“i’m going to give you all the rubric and your assigned partners.”
“what?” jake groans, “c’mon, why can’t we choose? what if my partner doesn’t do shit?”
“that’s something coming from you mr. sim.” sim jaehyun has a known record for paying people to do his work, plus, he’s not the brightest. the only thing he’s known for is being nice on the eyes and a great point guard. “i’m assigning the partners because you all are graduating this year. in the future, most of the time you won’t have a choice. got it?”
the class falls silent, you close your eyes and sigh again. 
just get it over with.
“now, you’ll be given time to discuss various topics regarding environmental science. our main concern is human impacts on our environment, got it? please discuss positive and negative impacts that you can analyze and present to the class, alright! there’s a special part of this project that i know you will all look forward to, so please keep this in the back of your mind for the next month.”
minji nudges you and you hum. she leans closer to you, eyes still on the board, then mumbles, “i really hope i don’t get jake.”
“same. with districts coming up i’d rather die than have him as my partner. his brain isn’t working unless it’s basketball that’s mentioned, he’ll yap my ear off.”
your seatmate chuckles and looks at jake, then back at you. “and you’re not any better?”
“basketball is just a hobby, this chemistry grade is worth more my time and effort, don’t be ridiculous.”
she rolls her eyes and refocuses her attention on mr. wei, who has finally found the paper listing each pair. anxiety churns in your stomach as you wait for him to read the names. you really hope you're not paired with jake—or any of his friends. the thought of working with them sounds worse than nails scratching a chalkboard.
“right, jaehyun, since you’re so eager to know who you’re with, let’s start with you.” mr. wei looks up from the paper, narrowing his eyes at the cocky guy. “you’ll be paired with soobin.”
you catch danielle and hanni in front of you locking eyes, fighting back snickers. the two cover their mouths with their hands and exchange a knowing conversation through countless gestures, shoves, and widening of eyes. their silent communication is filled with amusement, and you don’t know enough about soobin to understand what they’re so entertained by.
“right, minji and danielle.” he adds, you hear a relieved sigh from minji as soon as he says it. danielle turns around and smiles brightly, grabbing minji’s hands and shaking them excitedly. 
“yunjin and kazuha
 minjeong and jimin
 anton and sungchan
”
he goes down the list, pausing to put on his reading glasses to read the last few pairs, until he gets to the final one.
“and finally, hanni and y/n.”
you freeze, your breath catching in your throat as mr. wei sets the paper down. of course this would happen; you managed to transfer to the same school as hanni and now you're partnered with her on the biggest project of the year.
hanni turns her head to look at you, her expression unreadable. you lock eyes for a moment, the awkwardness hanging thick in the air, before you shift your gaze out the window, your palm pressing against your cheek as you rest your head on it.
mr. wei claps his hands and smiles brightly. “right! so,” he begins, looking around the room. most of the class seems content with their pairings, some look like the world has just ended, and others are simply dealing with it —you fall into this last group. “as you can tell, you’ve all been partnered with someone of the same gender. this isn’t an accident, you’ll find out eventually. our school has partnered with a research facility and set up a little trip in the spring—in a few months—in order to contribute to these studies and potentially find solutions to current environmental problems. i’d like you all to keep in contact with your partners and brainstorm until next tuesday. please come back to me with a valid research topic. now, let’s start our lesson, shall we?”
hanni can’t lie; she’s thrilled to be put in this nerve-racking situation. sure, she’s a little very terrified of you, considering your whole demeanor and the past you share, but she’s been wanting to at least have something normal again, maybe make the tension lighter. there’s still a part of her that resents you, but you were both fourteen then—things have changed.
(for the better, hanni hopes.)
–
you feel a tap on your shoulder as you walk down the hallway. your mind is blank until you take your earbuds out, and then you turn around, tilt your head down, and meet hanni.
“hi.”
“hey.”
the two of you stand there awkwardly, she scratches her pointer finger with her thumb (just like how she did when you two were younger, it seems her habits weren’t grown out of), then hands you her phone.
(“youll scratch your skin off,” you quickly pull her hand towards you, slapping it lightly. “stop that”
“hey! i’m nervous
”
“you’ll be fine hanni.” you assure her, putting your hands on her shoulders. “i know you’ll be, trust me.” she feels your hands cup both cheeks, squishing them subtly.
you’re both twelve, hanni has a microphone in one hand, and her other is restrained by yours. the two of you had practiced for two weeks to prepare for this moment. almost every day, you spent an hour or two in hanni’s room, which was littered with posters of her favorite bands and paintings you had made for her. you would strum your guitar while hanni sang with that pretty voice of hers, the two of you lost in the melody of 'baby I'm yours' by the artic monkeys without a worry about the talent show coming up
but hanni is worrying now, more than you somehow and she’s always been so out there.
your thumbs graze her skin and you look at her with a strange softness in her eyes. hanni still doesn’t know if it was because she was nervous, but in that moment, she felt her cheeks burning. 
“your voice is so pretty and you’re pretty and amazing and i know everyone in the crowd would love it and love you! i could listen to you all day hanni, when they hear you they’ll be so amazed.”
“what if i mess up? what if i ruin it for the both of us and-”
you pinch her cheeks and shake your head. “stop. hanni pham i know you, you’ll do great. if you mess up, i’ll mess up with you, alright?”
she purses her lips together, nervousness evident in her eyes. you smile reassuringly at her, and her tension eases as she sees your grin turn toothy. the warmth in your expression gives her the confidence she needs.
“ugh, fine! let’s get it over with
 my mom said she’ll drive us to get ice cream after anyway
”
“okay! c’mon, everyone is waiting for hanni pham and her guitarist.”
“you mean my lovely y/n?” twelve year old you didn’t know why that made you so giddy. you rolled your eyes at her and held her hand on the way to the stage.
the memory replays vividly in your mind. everyone's expressions were etched with amazement after hearing hanni sing the first line of the song you two practiced, their smiles widening as hanni dragged you up to sing along with her. this simple act unlocks a core memory: the two of you going home with a special trophy and celebrating with ice cream.
for some reason, you also remember the innocent little kiss on the cheek she gave you before you were dropped off too.)
you’re shaken out of thought after hanni begins again, “i just thought that, um, since we’re partners
 you know– we should keep contact.” she swallows lightly before asking, “could i get your number?”
“oh, yeah.” hanni watches you silently type your number in, then send a text to yourself. the buzz (heard only because of how dead silent it is in the hall) is faint, but indicates that you haven’t faked her out. “i’ll text you later, i have practice soon.”
“oh yeah, practice, yeah. basketball.” you force yourself not to smile as she responds. “yes, you have fun with that, sorry, yeah. i’ll text you? i can look over some stuff and you can branch off.”
“that sounds good, my practice ends at four today, in case you needed to know.”
“yeah, okay, yup.” she says, “i’ll get going, sorry.”
“don’t be,” you assure. she watches you open your mouth, hesitate, then add quietly, “ever.”
—
[xxx xxx xx09] 4:30pm hi! this is hanni are you free tomorrow?  i searched up some topics but wanted to go over it with you if you don’t mind of course!
[y/n] 5:02pm sorry, i stayed after to help clean and practice i can meet you after practice?  i should be completely done no later than four
[hanni] 5:03pm that’s fine!
hanni cringes as she hits send. she thinks to herself: too much energy? 
[hanni]  5:03pm minji’s bakery isn’t too far, it has good ambience and wifi is that okay?
[y/n] 5:28pm that’s fine
[hanni] 5:28pm great! see you then
embarrassingly enough, hanni continues to check her phone for a response, but each time she gets the same thing: nothing. it isn’t until three hours pass that she finally sees you’ve left her on read.
she huffs.
she feels stupid, considering you left her in the dust, then came back with no warning, and yet, all of that doesn’t sting as much as getting left on read. it’s silly, hanni thinks, but you couldn’t have sent something back? or at least reacted to her message? she groans in frustration and tries to focus on reviewing her chemistry notes, but thoughts of you keep interrupting her concentration.
–
you find hanni seated near the window, her back facing you, and you spot a latte beside her laptop. the kim's bakery isn’t too busy right now, thankfully, so it’s not a hassle or long wait to buy a small americano before you meet up with her.
hanni’s head perks up cutely when you sit down in front of her.
“oh, you’re here. you should’ve texted me.”
“sorry.” you begin to unpack your bags. “i got lost in thought on the way.” you don’t mention what you had been thinking of exactly, because that will only strengthen the elephant in the room.
“right, yeah, okay.” another moment of silence passes before hanni lights up. “ah! the ideas, yeah, hold on. i shared a doc with you, i hope you got it.”
“i was looking at it on the way here.”
“mhm, so what do you think?”
“i think a lot of them are pretty popular, i feel like jake and his little group will end up doing something about trash in the environment since it’s simple. i think the water quality one is good though, what about you?”
hanni nods. “i mean yeah, i was pushing the trash ones to the side. i wanted to do endangered species and really just anything regarding animals, but danielle and minji were already looking at it as soon as they had the chance. my second option was the water quality.”
“we’re on the same track, that’s good.” you sip on your coffee. “let’s research water quality then? maybe in the area for now.”
“yeah, that’s good.”
nothing else is said, nothing else needs to be said before you two get to work. there’s the occasional glance when one doesn’t think the other is looking, the small sips of coffee, and all of it is so distracting – each breath, unspoken words, really just whatever hangs in between the two of you. she lets you press a key one more time before breathing in.
“how have you been?”
you almost choke. “what?”
“how have
 you been
?” her brows turn up as she clarifies.
“good.”
“that’s good.”
“yeah.”
“yeah.”
hanni wants to pack up her bag, throw it at the window so the glass shatters, and escape the feeling that overwhelms her. “how was korea?”
you poke the inside of your bottom lip. “exhausting
 i missed it here.”
“yeah, it’s great here.”
“yeah.”
“what about you?” you ask, and for some reason, you don’t really want to know the answer. you’re unsure if your heart can take it.
“me?” she tilts her head, then coughs. “oh, yeah, me. um, i’ve been you know
 alright.”
i’m so sorry. you want to say it, but can’t bring yourself to. there’s a grudge you’re holding, you can’t seem to loosen up and let go. plus, you don’t trust yourself not to break down. 
“is student government any fun?”
“sometimes, that’s until we have to do real stuff.”
“didn’t you
 sign yourself up?”
“it’s to make my record look good, i was never good at sports like you.” she sighs as she leans against her chair. “i don’t even have the height for it.”
you fail to hold back a snicker, hanni pushes out her bottom lip in response.
(“y/n it’s too high.”
“that doesn’t matter, i’m like, three centimeters taller! just steady the ball and push out your hand.”
hanni sighs, staring at you like you’re an idiot. in this memory, you're both twelve, all battered up from running around all day. somehow, you’ve convinced her to spend time with you at the school’s courts.
the hoops are short enough for primary school kids, but still too tall for hanni. you’d tease her for not catching up to the others as you grew, and she’d respond with a punch to your shoulder each time. despite your relentless teasing, she’d always spend time with you on the court because she loved you more than her other friends. honestly, there was no other friend that compared to you at the time. 
you step behind her and fix her form, adjusting her hands with yours. she gets all nervous and almost elbows you, trying to cover it by yelling at you, “that tickles!” but what really tickled – or at least made her feel all weird and tingly in a similar way – was the turn in her stomach.)
“i mean, you’ve grown.”
“you’ve grown. how tall are you even?”
“i don’t know
 like, more than 170? something tall.”
“don’t boast.” hanni groans.
you chuckle. “don’t be jealous?”
the bickering is the same, but bittersweet. you two laugh until it’s a little too strange to laugh, the feeling in the air shifts again, you wish it’d stay at a constant of something nearing neutral or comfortable for more than a minute.
looking out the window, you spot an elderly couple strolling past. you begin again, “it’s good to see you again.”
“is it?” hanni questions, tone laced with genuine surprise and a small hint of disbelief, some bitterness too. “it’s a surprise to see you here.”
“school life there wasn’t too nice to me.”
“oh.” 
“yeah.” you take another sip of your coffee. “at least they had good coffee near the campus.”
hanni just giggles, what else can she do? her smile dies down as she continues to get to work, and you look at her through your lashes before doing the same.
little do you know, minji observes the conversation from afar. she stands behind the espresso machine, watching you and hanni smile at each other and laugh occasionally. unaware of the tension, your past, or any details, she notices a strange chemistry between you two. the more minji watches, even as you both study, the more she considers that you might look better as something more than just friends.
maybe that’s why you two had been so timid and distant, minji predicts that it’s a mutual attraction that has you two nervous to talk to each other. 
minji conjures up little scenarios and possibilities in her head. maybe you had seen hanni for the first time and been so starstruck by her; after all, many people have fallen for her sweet and outgoing nature, not to mention she’s prettier than most. or perhaps hanni had been in awe after seeing you on the court, and minji couldn’t deny that you were easy on the eyes (even minji caught herself looking at you sometimes, but out of admiration). plus, you had a mysterious quality at times—a trait that a lot of people find alluring. both you and hanni have people turning heads, so it wouldn’t be impossible.
hyein would love the sound of this. one corner of her lips turn up as she thinks about the underclassman.
maybe it was love at first (after a long time) sight, or maybe you had a meet-ugly? the possibilities swirl in minji’s mind as she observes the interactions between you and hanni, wondering about the nature of your relationship and what could potentially blossom between you two. 
she shakes her head, hiding behind the espresso machine again when she notices you packing up. you send hanni a sweet smile and start to walk in minji’s direction. the older girl pretends to be busy cleaning something up, and thankfully, you don’t notice her presence as you leave.
[senior citizens and the caretaker]
[minji] hanni
[hanni] ??? i can see you from where i’m at
[minji] you were with y/n? surprising
[hanni]  we started researching topics we literally?? are in the same class?? w the same project?? and r partners??
[minji] right
 and giggling and laughing and
  yk
[hanni]  are you crazy u r so delusional
[hyein] hanni and y/n??? proof or it didn’t happen
[minji] attachment: 1 image
hanni’s eyes widen when she sees a picture of her and you (zoomed in and botched quaility) smiling at each other. the shorter girl walks over to where minji is immediately, pointing to her screen and confusingly (angrily) asking, 
“the hell is this?”
“that’s what im trying to figure out.”
“bro, you’re so weird.” hanni sighs, then looks at the picture again. you have a cute smile – she tries not to think of that too much. “what the hell would y/n think if she sees this?”
“we’re friends too, you know?”
“yeah but–” her phone buzzes in her hand, cutting her off.
[haerin] study date?
[hanni]  ABSOLUTELYnot. stop DONT ENCOURAGE HER?? kim minji lock your doors.
[danielle] oh wow, she has a pretty smile!
i know. hanni wants to agree, but minji wouldn’t let it go.
[hanni] you guys r so weird omfg anyway, how is your project going?
[hyein] dont change the topic hanni
 wuuaahh im so jealous

[hanni] girl shut up you're like twelve and don’t be
[hyein] you said you already knew her before?  what happened
[hanni] it’s not important gtg
minji looks up from her phone. “and where are you going?”
“home,” hanni mutters, making the older smirk. “away from you at least, and i have to redo my notes for mr. ahn."
“right.”
“i hope your bread molds.” hanni says on the way out, closing the door. seconds later she opens it again, peeking her head through. “i was kidding, by the way. bring me the sweet milk bread tomorrow? thanks love you!”
the older girl rolls her eyes and laughs, going back to her phone to stare at the picture.
minji has nothing better to do, so maybe pushing you two closer wouldn’t be too bad. 
–
you’re so close to dozing off in history, head almost falling off your palm. the class being a requirement is so pointless in your opinion, considering you go over slideshows, take a test, and write a few short responses. rinse and repeat for the whole year – is it really that significant?
with your upcoming game clouding your mind, plus the draining practices, it only makes you drowsier. your eyes feel heavy, your blinking gets slower, and you’re just so done with the class in general.
minji leans her shoulder against you, nudging you awake.
“h-huh
” you mumble sleepily, making the older laugh. “what?” she nudges you again, making you groan. “man what the fuck do you want?” 
“you and hanni.” she raises her brows, unfazed by the anger in your tone. “how’s the project coming along?”
“oh,” you rub your eyes. “we’ve got some good ideas. i think we’re meeting again later.”
“do you like being around her?” you face minji and now she’s looking at you weirdly. “i saw you guys getting along.”
“did you? were you spying on us?” you ask teasingly, nudging her back. “weirdo
 but i mean yeah shes
 chill.”
“you guys look good together.” 
the way it sounds coming from minji makes you freeze. “what?” you croaked, the response coming out dry and scratchy. you dismiss her with your hand and try to conceal the weird warmth in your cheeks. “what even
 where did that even come from.”
“i was taking some orders and saw you two, looks like you both enjoyed each others company.”
“fucking spy
”
yeah, enjoyed running around the big problem you two had in between, that’s for sure. minji’s just oblivious, she hadn’t even heard the conversation or anything, so it shouldn’t get to you. but still, it does. hanni’s pretty, like out-of-this-world-flowers-and-sunlight pretty, and you’ve never really looked at yourself so highly. hanni’s always been out of your league since you first felt tingly around her at the ripe age of ten, it’s really a miracle that she even considered befriending you prior to that.
you set your head on your folded arms and close your eyes. “she’s nice, maybe we’ll be good friends or something. don’t get it mixed up.”
–
hanni watches intently, her eyes glued to how you handle the ball. you dribble past two of your teammates with ease, your movements fluid and precise. for a fleeting moment, your features light up with hope as you take the shot, but they quickly shift into frustration when the ball misses the hoop. she notices you bite the inside of your cheek, a sign of your evident irritation, as you curse softly at yourself.
“take your time y/n, don’t rush.” the coach suggests, you look at him for a split second, your features don’t shift a bit. he claps his hands, then nods. “right, practice over, you know the drill.”
hanni senses disappointment from your expression. she notices the way your jaw tightens, how your fingers ball into a tight fist before you crack them one by one – like how you did years ago. you stare at the ground for at least five seconds, lost in thought, before heading over to yunjin to run with her. as you start moving, the tension in your posture seems to wash away.
she waits until you finish, stealing glances at you from the bleachers. her eyes frequently drift away from her laptop to admire you. hanni has no clue what happened while you were away, but it’s frustrating that you manage to catch her eye so easily. your mannerisms are effortlessly attractive, your poise commanding, and everything about you seems to draw her in.
when you’re finished and headed back to change, she waits outside the gym for you. in a few minutes, you’re met with her, but with stress apparent in your expression.
“y/n, hey.”
“what do you want?” hanni is taken aback by the slight aggression. you cough, biting down on your teeth and retrying. “i– i mean, hi, hey. what’s up?”
“oh, i just worked on the project a bit more, you know, since mr. wei gave us more information i got us a head start. everything is on the doc, yeah.”
“did you stay after to tell me this? you could’ve gone home.”
“i had to do things for student gov, i only waited a few minutes for you, it’s nothing. i watched the end of your practice.”
“you what?” you look offended, almost. turning to the side, you poke the inside of your cheek, then look back at her. “why the hell did you waste your time doing that?”
“hey i– i just, i don’t know? why are you so angry?”
you have no clue why. maybe it’s the lack of sleep and sore feeling in every muscle in your body. you’ve been so tense the past week because of districts, and plus, your performance has been worse. the fact that hanni had seen you perform so poorly makes your blood boil a bit, but you shouldn't be mad. still, you are. shaking your head, you grip your bag tighter, knuckles whitening with the tension. the frustration of your last missed shot and fumbled passes throughout the last few practices sits heavy on your shoulders, mingling with your high standards and (self-imposed) pressure to excel. 
hanni’s presence, witnessing your every mistake, feels like salt in a wound, intensifying your disappointment and how pissed you are in the moment.
she looks at you, narrowing her eyes. “are you okay?”
“it’s nothing.”
“don’t lie in my face,” her tone almost makes you flinch. she steps closer. “what’s going on?”
“hanni, it’s nothing. don’t worry, it’s not your problem so don’t try to make it yours.” you say through gritted teeth.
(you open the door to see hanni, tilting your head when you do. she’s standing there with a frown, looking at you with worry.
“what’s going on?”
“why are you here?”
“you haven’t texted in the past week, and you’ve been avoiding me.”
“it’s nothing.”
“don’t lie to me, we’ve known each other since first grade.”
“why do you even care? just let me be.”
hanni’s noticed your distance, and she’s tried so hard to pry, but you’ve always been able to dodge her like a bullet. you barely have a smile on your face these days. after school, instead of hanging out with her friend group or even with her alone, you’re always at the court or cooped up studying at home. it frustrates her because she knows you don’t even need to study; eighth grade material is a breeze for you. 
the distance is palpable, a barrier she can’t seem to break through no matter how hard she tries. she misses the easy laughter, the way you used to light up around her, your stupid jokes; she misses you. now, it’s like you’ve built an invisible wall, and she can’t find a way to scale it.
“y/n, i miss you. please talk to me, we’ve always talked about things.”
you can’t possibly talk to her, not when you know what you feel is stupid, almost humiliating. how could you spill the fact that you’re jealous she’s spending less time with you, that she’s getting too pretty and lovely? you can't just admit that maybe being friends with her is becoming too hard. there are so many things you want to do with her, so many things you want to tell her that can’t be put into words. you can’t share that your heart beats faster whenever she’s near, or that she’s been on your mind so often lately. you just can’t. 
“i can’t. look, i’m busy. i’ll see you tomorrow.”)
she scoffs, looking at you almost angrily. “we’re not fourteen anymore. stop carrying so much – you’ll explode.”
“you don’t know shit.” the words slip out, taking both you and hanni by surprise. you can’t stand to see her after saying it, so you give her a brief glance, letting her catch the regret in your features before exhaling sharply. “i– i’ll see you tomorrow.”
“y/n–” she breathes out, her voice softer now, almost pleading.
you look down as you walk away, too repentant to look back. each step feels heavier, burdened by the weight of the words you wish you could take back. you wish you could take back a lot, rewind time and restart. you’re vulnerable, some things fail to change.
–
“so, what happened? your text made me shiver.” danielle says, sitting down on the floor next to minji.
their whole friend group has grouped up at hanni’s place, specifically her bedroom because of a sudden “my house. please. quick.” text. they all gather around her, worried and curious.
hanni leans her head against her bed frame, sighing. “y/n and i kind of had an argument. well, she scolded me, that’s more like how it went down.”
“so she got mad at you? what happened? you guys aren’t even that close, so what’s this all about.”
taking a deep breathe in, hanni lets many suppressed memories fade into vision. “i told you guys i knew her before this, like years ago.” she watches her friends nod. “well, we kind of
 i mean, we fell off. i don’t know the full reason why, but we had this huge thing.” she pauses her story, reaching under her bed and pulling out an old shoebox.
opening it, hanni shows the group tucked away memories. there are polaroids and childhood pictures, letters, photobooth strips, and knick knacks the two of you had crafted.
haerin gazes at the contents, then pulls out a polaroid and looks at it intensely.
“anyways,” hanni continues, “i mean, i tried to push it aside because i guess it was a while ago and it’s just an elephant in the room between just the two of us. plus, i figured we had changed and grown, but–” hanni groans defeatedly. “i don’t know! i feel like i shouldn’t let it get to me but–”
“okay but what exactly happened?” minji butts in, lost in hanni’s ramble. “details. she scolded you, you two know each other, what else?”
“where do i even start
”
hanni takes a deep breath, her eyes shimmering with the intensity of the memories she is about to share. she begins, her voice steady but laced with nostalgia. "you know, we met when we were just kids. i was new and had zero friends. she was alone too, and i asked her to join me on the monkey bars. i remember being in awe when she made it all the way across and back at the age of six. and since then we were basically inseparable."
her friends listen closely, captivated by the story. hanni’s tone becomes softer as she continues. "y/n was the sweetest person i knew. she was a special friend, you know? i mean we were only kids but i still thought of her a lot even after the whole
 thing. i mean, we spent so much time together, just the two of us. i remember those niche, core memories, like when the sun would set and we’d find ourselves tanned and still at the playground. everyday i woke up excited to spend time with her, i can basically remember her being there most of my childhood."
she pauses, her eyes glazing over as she recalls the fondness of those days. "there are so many moments filled with her that defined myself growing up. i feel stupid, really, looking back on childhood memories. like, i should let go right? but every memory made me really happy, and i wonder what it would’ve been like if we had stayed strong until now. i think about it so much now that she’s back, and i thought i had gotten over it. i’m so mature now but it’s like
 like a thorn i can’t take out my skin. maybe a scar that can’t heal, that’s a better metaphor.”
her expression shifts, the weight of the past evident on her face. "but then things changed. as we grew older, especially in middle school, y/n started to become distant. i branched out, made new friends, and she... she grew bitter about i i guess? what we had was so different. we were literally attached by the hip and then barely spoke.”
the emotion in hanni’s voice is palpable, her gestures and facial expressions reflecting the heaviness of her heart. she looks at her friends, all listening closely and looking hurt themselves. "we just fell apart. she changed in a way that didn’t benefit either of us. it was like she built a wall around herself, and i couldn’t knock it down.”
her friends sit in silence, absorbing the depth of the story. hanni’s explanation is more than just words; it’s a raw, emotional journey through the ups and downs of a friendship that had meant everything to her, even if it had ended at fourteen.
“and before i knew it she just left.” she adds, thumb scratching her skin. danielle puts a hand over her mouth, looking the most hurt out of the group. “she came to my house one day and said she’d fucking? leave? the day after? a continent away? it’s like she didn’t care about what we had between us.”
“oh hanni, that’s terrible.”
“i know.” hanni picks up a photobooth slip, her shoulders drooping. “i know.”
“how did you put up with her coming back?” hyein questions. hanni sets the picture down, looking down at it from where she sits, still. “as soon as i saw her it’s like everything that had happened to me washed away. i was so fucking out of it – seeing her. she’s so different, like, it caught me off guard and i just pushed aside everything.” hanni starts to blush suddenly, pinching the bridge of her nose. “this is so stupid but, i had a little stupid crush on her growing up too, and then seeing her after so long it just
 it’s so stupid. she’s striking now, i can’t believe it. but she was so eager to avoid me when she first saw me so i just
 let it be.”
minji hums to herself, thinking deeply on the topic. she scratches her chin as she stares at the photos on the ground. “you guys can’t avoid it forever.”
“i know.” hanni repeats. “i kind of
 ugh. we got in this argument because she was being so aggressive and mean all of a sudden, i mentioned that she shouldn’t bottle up things like when she was thirteen. i guess the guilt crashed down on her, she just left. she looked really regretful, i don’t know. i just, i don’t want the tension to be worse than it already is.”
minji raises her brows at hanni. “i think you deserve an apology and explanation.”
“i agree.” danielle chimes in, crossing her arms and pouting. “she’s really nice and sweet, but hanni, hearing what she did? my gosh
 that’s just
”
“she probably had her reasons though, it had to be really important for our friendship to literally fall apart. i’m considering that our past kind of has something to do with how she just went all out on me earlier.”
haerin sits quietly, deep in thought about hanni, you, and the situation. she’s always been the quiet one, so she’s really observant and caring nature. plus, she’s usually right. she’s seen hanni’s growing attention and concern for you, but she realizes the timing is off. you’re so caught up in your own head, weighed down by the pressure of districts, and it’s affecting your performance. the stress is becoming a vicious cycle, making you play worse, which only adds to your anxiety. haerin clicks her tongue softly as she pieces it all together, understanding the root of the issue.
“i don’t know why she did that to you when you guys were younger.” haerin begins. the rest of the group looks at her in surprise, but starts to listen immediately. “but i think she was so heated earlier because of districts. coach has been pushing her, she’s been more tired. i don’t think she meant it, she’s a good person.”
“oh.” hanni responds blankly, starting to piece it together.
haerin nods. “she hasn’t really been talking to anyone, and she seems tired these days.” 
minji nods along too. “she almost fell asleep in history in her hand, she could just be cranky.”
“i mean maybe–” hanni pauses when her phone on the floor lights up. she glances at the contact and gasps, picking it up. “it’s her.”
“what?”
“what does it say?” hyein asks, quickling leaning against the older girl in order to see the messages. 
[y/n] sorry can we meet in ten? at kims i want to clear things, if that’s okay i don’t want my project partner upset i’ll be waiting. if you don’t come i understand
hanni sighs, staring at the words on her screen like they’re going to pop out the phone and slap her in the face (or something like that). she shows the rest of the group the texts and haerin is the first to respond.
“go see her.”
“you sure? i don’t know she just–”
“hanni,” haerin looks at her seriously. “don’t make the space in between you two larger.”
the group looks at haerin, considering she’s the second youngest, it’s really impressive that her words hold so much power and weight. hanni hesitates before nodding, starting to type.
–
[hanni] where are you?
your phone buzzes in your hand immediately and you rush to check it, feeling relief wash over when you notice that it’s hanni, and especially when you realize she’s here.
[y/n] i’m not inside side of the building near the lamppost
[hanni] k
you wince at the singular letter, she’s going to rip your head off.
hanni emerges from the side, spotting you tapping your foot up and down and fidgeting with your fingers. she feels like a wet rag being slowly wrung out, her anger dissipating as she takes in your appearance. you’re wrapped in a hoodie and sweatpants, both sitting loosely on you, and your nose is tinted red from the chill of the night. she feels a pang of empathy, her frustration melting away in the face of your vulnerability.
she steps towards you, you perk your head up and sigh out in relief.
“you’re here.”
“i am.” 
the two of you stare at each other for a moment, the silence heavy with unspoken words. you use the time to compose yourself, clearing your deafening thoughts. hanni, meanwhile, takes in your features, admiring silently with an unreadable expression on her face.
“i wanted to clear some things and apologize. not just for earlier but, just– you know.”
“is that so?”
“let’s take a walk, please?”
the two of you would always take walks to clear the air back then, strolling to the outskirts of the neighborhood and back so you could drop one of the other off. those late-night walks used to be calm and relieving, filled with laughter and conversations under the streetlights. now, as you stand before each other, the thought of it feels nerve-racking and unpredictable, weighed down by the tension and the distance that has grown between you. 
you sigh, handing her a small bag and the drink in your hand. “i also bought you some things, it’s the least i could do.”
she takes the bag from your hand and looks inside, fighting back a smile when she notices her favorite milk bread inside. plus, the latte you had given her looks like her favorite. 
“okay, where are we headed?”
“you’ll see.”
the two of you walk in silence, your rehearsed words stuck in your throat, twisting on your tongue whenever they try to escape. you don't look at her, focusing instead on the ground beneath your feet. hanni doesn't push you, occupied with taking bites and sips from what you bought her.
every now and then, she turns her head toward you. sometimes, she catches you already glancing at her, quickly looking away when your eyes meet. other times, she sees you staring intently at the ground, lost in your thoughts. 
putting your hands in your pockets, you start to speak, “i’m the reason there’s a rift between us.”
“yeah, i know.”
“and there’s a reason, but it’s really
 personal, kind of. i want to tell you but i really can’t.”
“is that so?”
“yeah.” you breathe out, kicking a rock as you do. “but the most i can do is apologize – for everything I can apologize about. i was so petty back then, i was jealous of your friends sometimes and there were a few times you had already made plans with them and i asked you to hang and you couldn’t and it’s so stupid and i was immature and mad at you for that and i just–”
“y/n, take it slow.”
you gulp. “okay.” she watches you stare ahead and sigh. “i was so insecure and stupid, it resulted in me losing the person i loved most. the worst part of all is that you fought to keep me in your life, and i just ripped myself off you like a leech stuck to your skin. i always cared about you, i still do, there’s nothing that could change that. i knew my actions were hurting you and instead of fixing myself, i thought i knew what was best for you at fourteen and it just
 i just hurt you even more.”
“you did.”
“i know.” you look at her for the first time, meeting her eyes dead on. she notices the upturn in your brows, the sincerity in your gaze and tone. “and i’m sorry. i’m sorry for everything. i just want us to be friends again. i can’t lose you now that you’re back in my life. i just want what we had again.”
the words hang in the air, heavy with emotion. your heart races as you wait for her response, hoping she feels the same.
both of your legs continue to carry you down the sidewalk until hanni stops. you halt a step after her, noticing the contemplation on her face. she glances down at her empty bag, then back up at you. her eyes scan your face with an intensity that makes your heart race. you look like a lost puppy, and though it tugs at her heart, she tries to push those feelings aside for now.
your words had pierced her heart, the pain sharp and immediate, but there was also a sense of relief. knowing you don’t hate her makes a difference. she feels the same way; despite the hurt you’ve caused, the effort you’re making to repair your bond warms her heart.
“i do too. i wanted to talk to you again, normally, for a while now.”
“me too, but i hurt you and i felt so guilty.”
“well,” hanni reaches for your hand, holding it in hers. “let’s try our best to start over then, as friends.”
“thank you. i’m sorry.”
“it’s okay, the bread and latte made up for like, thirty percent of it.”
she’s always been good at lifting the mood. you laugh and she giggles too. “if i buy you a few more, would that raise it?”
“how many more and how often are we talking?”
–
the next two weeks go well, thankfully. 
you and hanni spend a significant amount of time together working on the project, each of you discovering different methods to measure water quality with limited equipment and determining the most efficient techniques. as you collaborate, you catch up on lost time, though you remain cautious about revealing too much about yourself. your time abroad had been
 rough, and you prefer to keep those memories to yourself. however, it's comforting to hear about hanni's accomplishments, knowing she's built a strong reputation and has many friends that are just as wonderful as her.
often, you find yourself smiling at hanni like you used to. it's a familiar yet unsettling feeling, but you refuse to let it consume you. despite how her smile, voice, and energy make you blush and feel a pleasant dizziness, you resist falling into the same spiral from years ago. you push those feelings down, determined to stay focused on the present. you can’t let it ruin the two of you again. 
besides, you've just had your first district game and it went well. the scores were tight, but you and your team pulled through, boosting your confidence. you can’t let hanni pham's charm shake you up; there's too much on your shoulders—the project, your teammates, and your relationship with her. balancing all of this feels like walking a tightrope, but you’re determined not to fall (again).
hanni, on the other hand, feels like she’s on cloud nine.
you’re still as adorable as ever, still considerate. after your study sessions and project work days, you always offer to spend time with hanni at different bakeries so she can try various breads. you jokingly mention that you’re in debt to her for a lifetime, and in a way, you are – at least until you find the right time to explain why you drifted apart in detail. for now, bread seems to suffice in keeping her from prying too deeply into your past, which feels too serious to delve into casually.
it doesn’t help that hanni has been attending your practices and games, where she takes the time to admire your athletic abilities—and, if she’s honest with herself, you as a whole. she wonders what you went through that made you come back looking even more striking than before (and hotter too, though she tries to keep herself sane).
unfortunately for hanni, her feelings aren’t as discreet as she would like. hyein and minji are quick to notice her lingering glances and teasingly nudge her about her apparent crush on you. they often bring up her past confessions about having a small crush on you back then, though she always brushes it off with a laugh.
“stop, it’s not like that. besides, she’s too busy, it wouldn’t work out.”
hyein whines, grabbing onto hanni’s shoulder. “come oooonnnnn, you want her.”
“yeah when i was like 12-13, and plus, it was so small. i was literally a child.” hanni is lying, she’d look at you like you were the northern lights (something like that), you and her were like two leads in a disney movie. “we’re friends.”
“a friend that you’ve had a crush on?” minji smirks and hanni punches her shoulder. “okay
”
“can you guys shut up! she doesn’t want me.”
“she buys you bread and drinks.”
“she just feels bad!”
“well i guess we’ll see how bad she feels when we go on that trip.”
fuck. hanni thinks. fuck. 
another part of your stupid (yet interesting) project was the fact that you would be thrown into a nature reservation for three days. it was another unexpected twist in your project—being thrown into a nature reserve for three days. mr. wei had dropped the bombshell less than a week before the trip, leaving everyone bewildered. he mentioned it casually, emphasizing its importance for the project, and clarified that each pair would share a room during the stay. the suddenness of it all added an air of anticipation and nervous excitement among the students, but it left you and hanni stiff in your seats.
hanni. sharing a room. with you. (y/n). (y/n). in the same. space. as. hanni. hanni. 
hanni sits with minji and hyein, trying to ignore their knowing looks as she watches you from across the lunchroom. you're smiling amidst the laughter at your table, looking at the team like they’re idiots. suddenly, you turn your head and lock eyes with hanni. there's a pause as you both acknowledge each other, and then hanni awkwardly smiles, which earns a giggle from you. 
caught in that moment, hanni wonders if she can handle being trapped in a room with you if you ever end up giggling like that up close and personal. she doesn’t know if she can handle you up close and personal.
–
you, are up close and personal and hanni somehow manages.
hanni is taken aback when your head leans onto her shoulder during the train ride to the nature reserve. your breathing deepens, and you seem completely at ease, while she tries to maintain composure despite the unexpected closeness. she finds herself conflicted; on one hand, you look delicate and serene with strands of hair falling over your face, making her contemplate whether to brush them away or let them be. 
the realization hits her anew that you're definitely the prettiest girl she knows, a title she's only recently come to acknowledge. unsure of how to handle the situation, hanni slips in her earbud, turning up the volume of the song playing to drown out her racing thoughts.
–
if things haven’t already made hanni at risk of having some type of heart attack, then finding the hotel room and unlocking the door to see one bed definitely makes her prone to some sort of cardiovascular catastrophe. 
you feel yourself go tense, freezing in place as you realize the same thing.
“there’s one bed.” 
hanni looks at you like you’re an idiot. “no shit.”
“is there a mistake?” you check the hotel room number and look at the key in your hand. “it has to be
”
“let me ask the others, you stay here.” hanni says before leaving the room. you look at her with a tilted head, but shake it off, instead opting to look out the window in awe at the view. hanni fishes out her phone and dials minji. the phone rings for a moment before minji picks up, she hums and hanni speaks again, “hey, what room are you in?”
“722, you?”
“610, stay, i’m coming over.”
“what?”
“be there soon.”
minji attempts to respond, but hanni hangs up. she makes a weird sound that has danielle looking at her confused, minji just shrugs. 
a few minutes later, the pair hears a knock at the door. minji walks over, expecting hanni, and standing out her door is – hanni.
“how many beds do you have?” she asks quickly, stepping inside. 
“what happened to hey? hello? how are you?”
hanni ignores her remarks, too distracted by the fact that there’s two beds in minji’s room.
“fuck me.” hanni whispers, then puts a hand in her hair, gripping it. “oh my fucking god.”
“hanni what–”
danielle steps out the bathroom after hearing the commotion. she looks at minji, who looks back at her with the same confusion in her features. “what’s the problem hanni?”
“our room only has one bed.”
minji widens her eyes. “you’re telling me you and y/n are–”
“there has to be a mistake.” hanni groans, “it can’t be.”
the shortest in the room flops onto one bed, sighing as she stares up at the ceiling. both of her friends walk over and sit beside her, amused and worried at how she’s acting.
“hey! it’s not too bad. maybe you can talk to them and ask for a room with two beds! don’t worry, it’s not the end of the world.”
minji puts a hand up, waving it to dismiss danielle. she looks back down at hanni and shakes her head. “hanni doesn’t want to.”
“why wouldn’t she?”
“hanni, you wanna tell danielle?”
the youngest raises a brow. “tell me what?”
“enough minji, it’s– it’s not– well
” hanni groans, turning over on her side. “what if things get awkward between the two of us?”
“well, that’s only if something
 you know, happens. you’re thinking so far ahead.”
“what if she’s uncomfy?”
minji sighs again. “she’s not, don’t be stupid.”
“i’m still confused.” danielle says in between. “what is going on?”
minji looks down at the defeated hanni, then to danielle. “hanni is in denial about being in love with y/n.”
“i thought that was in the past.”
“well it’s back.” hanni mumbles. “what if i shrivel up and die.”
“don’t be stupid.”
“hey, haerin did mention that y/n talks about you often. from what she’s told me y/n is comfortable with you, very comfy. there’s nothing to worry about.” hanni’s phone buzzes and danielle helps her out, grabbing it out the pocket of her sweatpants for the older girl. she holds the phone up to hanni’s face smushed against the mattress, successfully unlocking it, then checks the message. “it’s from y/n.”
“it is?”
“i knew it was from her as soon as it buzzed.” danielle rolls her eyes, reading the text. “it says ‘where are you?’ ‘are you okay with one bed?’ ‘do dani and minji have one bed?’ ‘i’m fine with just one if you are’”
hanni shoots up. “what.” she leans next to dani to see the screen:
[y/n] where are you? are you okay with one bed? do dani and minji have one bed? i’m fine with just one if you are it’s not that big of a deal unless you’re uncomfy i can ask the hotel managers hello?
hanni grabs the phone and types immediately.
[hanni] hi so sorry i was with dani and minji they have two beds im fine with one if you are! only if you are of course! it’s totally fine if you aren’t though  i hope that doesn’t sound weird you get what i mean? sorry
[y/n] i get it one bed then it’ll be fine, i think it’s a queen when will you be back?
minji and danielle watch hanni get off their bed and sprint out the room, then look at each other and giggle. hanni speedwalks down the hall, relying on her senses to not fuck up and make her trip or take a wrong step.
[hanni]  i was omw alr soon have you unpacked?
[y/n] no i was waiting for u c u don’t trip and fall
–
“you’re so clingy.” you groan, but still, you willingly let hanni cling onto you like a koala. 
the two of you are thirteen and the next day is confirmed to be a snow day, so hanni had sprinted over to your house (begged her parents to drive her over) and basically forced you into having a last minute sleepover. it’s not like you were against it though.
you and hanni had been on the couch watching a disney movie, though you had dozed off halfway through. to be fair, you had already seen rapunzel more times than you could count on one hand, and hanni always made you feel relaxed. 
now, she’s in your bed, your legs tangled under the covers, and she’s half on top of you with her arms wrapped around. she hugs tighter after hearing you, giggling into your ear.
“you’re sooo warm though, i don’t want to move.” the moment she says that, something shifts. you suddenly burn, it feels like something is swallowing you whole and your stomach is doing flips and your heart is running a marathon and– “i could stay like this forever.”
“oh,” you mumble. your hand finds its way to her shoulder, deciding to settle there and occasionally your thumb traces circles on her. “okay.”
you've never been this close to hanni before, not like this. thirteen and oblivious, you're caught in a whirlwind of changing emotions. her presence next to you makes your head spin, even though you're just lying there together. it's a sensation you're not sure you like—maybe because you're afraid hanni might feel something different, steadier, while you feel like you could easily topple over. the embarrassment of that thought flushes through you, adding to the confusion of the moment.
–
both of you are stiff lying next to each other, unable to move. the only light in the room is the lamp in the corner and neither of you dare to look at the other.
hanni is on her phone, trying to do anything to ease the tension when there’s a small space in between the two of you. sure, the bed is quite spacious, but in this situation it doesn’t seem like it.
“hey, hanni?” she shivers, your voice is low and hushed. “i’m going to sleep.”
“oh, okay.”
“yeah, night.”
there’s subtle shifts of the blanket and the muffled movements, catching your back turned away from her in her peripheral vision. there's a shared intimacy in the limited space, she’s aware of your efforts not to brush against her. the pillow meant for your head is firmly cradled in your arms, a subconscious barrier. hanni notices this and half-wishes for the same kind of closeness, if she were that pillow.
fuck, she thinks. she wonders whether or not you’re still as warm as before.
–
the next day you and hanni wake up a few centimeters closer, but not enough to be touching. neither of you bask in that mutual realization, instead, focused on getting water samples for the project.
there’s not much directing or instructing. sure, there’s ground rules and whatnot since it’s a literally nature reserve, but there’s a lot of academic freedom regarding research. you and hanni have the green light to collect water samples, but that means trekking through various areas that are
 questionable.
both of you start with the easier places to grab samples, such as the small pond near the hotel, the little stream further down the road, and really any place that isn’t shrouded by organisms left and right. both of you take turns getting samples, laughing at the others expression when getting into contact with the water.
“ugh.” 
“it’s just water y/n.”
“you made the stupidest face when we were near the hotel and it was literally a cute little pond, do not test me.”
“whatever.”
“besides, you’re next after we go into the little woods.”
hanni curses mentally.
–
being alone together with hanni seems to be less and less suffocating with time. 
however, you feel like someone is punching you in the gut each time your knuckles and arms brush against each other walking along the forest trail. hanni doesn’t seem to think much on it, but you? you’re too hyperaware it seems embarrassing.
she runs off farther from you, finding another stream and taking out a small glass bottle to grab another sample. she crouches and reaches down, you can’t help but smile. she looks stupid, she always does, but it only makes her more attractive unfortunately. 
“cute.” 
“what did you say?” she looks up at you, you’re standing and watching from above. all she can see is you looking away and the tint of pink in your cheeks.
“you look dumb.” you play it off, then grab your phone to snag a picture of her. “yeah, super dumb.”
–
the next sample is a breeze, seeing as it’s some pool of water stuck in a big dent in the rocks along the path. 
it’s a breeze just walking and conversing time to time, almost forgetting that this is all for a project.
hanni spots a waterfall in the distance, eyes lighting up at the sight of it. she starts to run off and you yell out a measly “wait!” as she continues on. you groan and run after her, laughing along the way.
you lose her for a moment, a little scared because she’s nowhere in your line of sight. “hanni?” you call out, but she doesn’t respond. 
it isn’t until you hear a loud gasp, followed by a painful yelp, that hints at where hanni is at. you follow wherever the sound came from, then climb a few plateaued rocks to find hanni on the ground clutching her ankle.
“hanni! fuck, what happened?”
she looks up at you with a pained expression, then back to her foot. “i tripped on a branch and my ankle twisted weirdly, can you help me up?”
“yeah, sure, of course.” you respond quickly, rushing over to help her up. she’s struggling to apply pressure on her left foot, basically carrying herself with the right one. “can you walk?”
she shrugs, loosening her grip on you as she tries to take a few steps. the wince she lets out after the second step lets you know that she’s in no condition to carry herself like that. “um, kind of.”
“you liar.” you sigh, “how bad does it hurt? do you think it’s sprained?”
“no, i’ve sprained my ankle. it’s not that bad.” you remember when she sprained it too, but push down the memory. 
again, you sigh (really because you’re worried). you squat down and suggest, “get on my back.”
“are you crazy?”
“you just twisted your ankle and can’t even walk, are you?”
“i can find a big stick.”
“and i’ll whack you with it if you don’t get on.” hanni scoffs at your response. you look down bashfully, adding quietly, “it’s not like you haven’t piggybacked me before.”
(“we’re almost home.” you assure. hanni tightens her grip around you as you push her up, trying to stabilize yourself.
two eleven year olds and an empty playground meant chasing and chasing until one was out of breathe – or in this case, one had sprained her ankle.
you carried her over to the nearest bench when it happened, examining the growing puffiness on her foot and making a grossed out expression. hanni hit you playfully when you made the face, slightly offended but really just trying to lighten the mood.
“it doesn’t hurt that much, let’s just walk home and my parents can deal with it.”
“um
 i’m no doctor but that doesn’t look right.”
“hey!”
“i didn’t mean it like that hanni! it just looks like
 i don’t know, like a doctor should see it.”
“well, it’s fine to me.” hanni lets out a heavy sigh, then gets up only to topple over. she almost falls to the ground again, but you manage to catch her and stable her. she tears up when her weight shifts over to the injured ankle, and then frowns when you look at her disapprovingly.
“sit back down hanni, you hurt yourself.” you order her, then help her back to the bench. you crouch down in front of her and squat, turning so hanni can see the side of your face as you tell her, “get on my back.”
“what?”
“i’ll carry you home. you’re not heavy, and plus, you’re short.”
“you’re a bully.”
“get on!” you groan. hanni complies shortly after, wrapping her arms around your neck and feeling your hands stable her. “see? not bad at all. we’ll get home fine.”
hanni is amazed at your strength, but even more at the depth of your care for her. she feels the sweat building up on your skin, but you don’t mention it, not showing a hint of struggle. your unwavering effort almost convinces hanni that everything is alright.)
“y/n, we’re not eleven anymore. i’m not as small and light.”
you click your tongue teasingly, turning so you can see her from your peripheral. “you’re still small, and probably light too. just get on or you’ll fuck up your foot even more.”
she hesitates, but gets on anyway. you stand up easily, just like you did as kids. your hands are under her thighs in order to keep her in place, her arms warp around your neck and her head is on your shoulder. she feels you gulp agaisnt her skin.
“are you okay?” she asks, you just nod. “i’m sorry.”
“don’t, you’re never a problem.”
your response is oddly endearing, shutting hanni up the whole way back.
it’s mainly silent, except for the faint sound of hanni’s breathing reaching your ears. you can’t trust yourself to say anything coherent; your thoughts are a jumbled mess with her this close. 
occasionally, she stops trying and lets her chin rest on your shoulder. each time she does, you feel like you might explode, but you never do. hanni has that effect on you; she always has. it makes sense why you strayed away years back. but despite the turmoil, the feeling is so lovely, and the butterflies in your stomach make you yearn for something more.
“we’re almost there.” your endurance is starting to die down and hanni starts to feel heavier. it’s been nearly twenty minutes (give or take), but you’ve been pushing aside the burn in your legs. “you alright?”
“yes.”
“good.” 
the first mistake you make is turning to meet her eye to eye, almost slipping in the middle of the trail. she looks at you deeply, making you shrink and shrink until it’s just your beating heart.
“are you alright? you’re not tired?”
“i’m fine. we’re almost there anyway.”
“i owe you so much, sorry for being stupid.”
pursing your lips and turning away, you shake your head slightly. “you don’t owe me anything.”
–
hanni gets treated by the nurse on the reserve while you test the levels of ph in each sample. some of the water from your samples are also observed by the laboratory on the reserve, and you’re attentive to everything the scientists observe and explain. 
you return to the nurse right after hanni is done with her examination, her foot is wrapped and there’s a pair of crutches next to her. 
“what did the nurse say?”
“she said i’m lucky it’s a minor injury.” hanni begins, looking down at her foot. “and that i should ice it and try to move it around little by little.”
“how long will it take to heal fully?”
“something like a week or so, again, not the worst injury.”
still, you frown. “lucky we got every sample today. the rest of the project doesn’t require much walking.”
“i guess.” she mumbles. “did you get everything through? how are the samples?”
“we can worry about that tomorrow, don’t worry.” she watches you squat down in front of her, turning your head the same way you did before and smiling subtly. “crutches will slow you down, and you’re easy to carry.”
“well thanks ms. mvp.”
“blah blah you like being on my back, admit it.” you push her buttons a little, hearing a “hmph” before she gets on and wraps her arms around your neck. you hold hanni with one hand as you grab her crutches, then manage to stable her with both again.
the whole way back you’re trying not to smile too hard. your cheeks already burn and hanni stays silent as you bring yourselves up to your floor, step inside the room, and set her down on your temporary shared bed. 
she watches you set the crutches down against the counter and you watch her flop on her back.
“how is your foot?”
“hurts, but less than before.”
“mhm, you should go shower. do you need help?” you pause, blushing like crazy when you realize the implications. “like, you know, to get there–”
she lets you live and says, “it’s alright, i can hop a few times and get there.”
“if i hear you fall in the shower i’m not going to get you.”
she snickers, getting back up. then looks at you fondly.
“i wont, silly.”
hanni thankfully lives up to her response, and you don't hear any commotion from inside the bathroom. when she emerges, she's in one piece and dressed in her pajamas. limping slightly, she makes her way back to the bed, sitting on the edge and moving her foot around slowly. her brows furrow a bit, but she seems relatively fine. relieved, you head into the bathroom to clean up and get ready for bed, trying to shake off the lingering worry.
–
there’s a weird tingly feeling that spreads over hanni when you walk out of the bathroom with wet hair and flushed cheeks from the hot shower. you looked like this last night, and seeing you again makes her wonder how it’d be to see you like that more often.
you walk over with the towel on your shoulders to prevent water dampening your back, and also the brace that she had left in the bathroo. hanni watches you pull a chair over and sit in front of her.
“you forgot something.”
“it feels fine right now,” you watch her shrug, looking at her foot. with an amusing expression, something mixed with “you’re an idiot” and slight worry, you poke the swollen area. “hey!” hanni winces.
“it looks like ten mosquitoes bit your foot, stupid. here, give me your foot.”
“what?”
"oh my god, just–" you mutter, grabbing her foot gently above the ankle and placing it on your knee. hanni watches as you carefully position the ankle brace, threading the end underneath before wrapping it tightly around until it reaches the velcro. your concentration is evident in your scrunched brows and pursed lips, handling her with a tenderness that makes her heart flutter.
when you're done, you poke at the brace and move hanni’s foot around, careful and slow, to check the fit. "there. how does it feel? too tight?" you ask, looking up at her with a mixture of concern and hope.
“no, not at all.” she says, shaking her head.
“try to move it.” hanni does so, feeling minimal pain. “all good?”
“yeah, better than the nurse.”
“right.” 
just to make sure, you squeeze around areas of her foot to check the tightness. you look up to see her staring at you intensely, none of you break eye contact until – even as you stand, watching her head tilt up to continue looking at you. 
her hair is already dry, it frames her face loosely, you can’t help but brush it out the way. hanni’s lips part subconsciously when your finger accidentally grazes her jawline, trying not to think on it much as you move away to get into bed.
both of you lie there, silent.
hanni is the first to turn towards the middle, and you follow shortly after. 
the soft, plump lips catch your attention first. then, you scan all the way up to her nose until it’s just her eyes – her pupils hold you stuck in place.
“you’re so different.” hanni blurts, it’s almost a whisper. “hyein told me about a new girl and i didn’t think it’d be you. i still can’t believe you’re here.”
your body freezes as she pushes hair behind your ear, then relaxes upon hearing her voice again.
“thanks for everything.”
“it’s nothing if its you.”
“really?”
you hum almost immediately.
–
your hand is resting on hers when you wake up. you blink once, twice, and once again before hanni’s smushed cheek comes into full view. you stay still, looking at her as you yawn, trying not to disturb the peaceful moment.
she’s relaxed, her face free of worry as she slumbers. something about her makes you want to trace each and every feature until your finger is mush, until you can make out her face with your eyes covered in a sea of people. you could sit and stare for the rest of the trip.
it’s apparent that your feelings for her would always linger, no matter how close or far you are. no one could forget a face as breathtaking as hers.
–
the next day and the last are spent compiling research together. you and hanni settle into the small, homey cafĂ© inside the hotel, typing away and considering each other’s suggestions, thoughts, and edits.
you manage to organize all of the data into a visually pleasing graphic by the time everything is done, while hanni handles most of the analysis and explanations on each slide. it takes a long while, but working side by side, with your arms often brushing, makes it less of a hassle.
on the final night, you're helping hanni with her ankle brace again. she enjoys this time because it allows her to stare at you without worrying about you catching her in the act. you’re too concentrated to notice her (or at least that’s what she believes), handling her with care and precision. in truth, you simply enjoy taking care of her, making sure she’s okay.
both of you end up asleep again, side by side, then facing each other.
in the middle of the night, hanni turns away from you, facing the edge of the bed. unbeknownst to you, in your sleep, you reach out, craving her presence even while unconscious. your arm drapes over her, pulling her closer. hanni stirs slightly, just barely awake, and realizes it’s you. sleepily, she turns back to face you, finding warmth and comfort in your embrace.
if there’s any questioning in the morning, hanni has a backup plan. she'll claim she didn’t realize she had been clinging onto you until she woke up and that she’s used to hugging a pillow.
(these days, she wishes that pillow were you.)
(you don’t mind being the pillow.)
–
“okay. you have everything, right?” 
it’s eight in the morning and the bus leaves at nine. your bag is packed already, and so is hanni’s.
“mhm.”
“great.” you say before tucking your charger away in the front pocket of your backpack.
turning your head over, you notice hanni sitting on the edge of the bed and staring out the window. the view is perfect, you spent a lot of time looking outside when the sky was pretty, but not enough you realize – now that you’re about to go back near the city.
you walk over to sit next to her, leaving little space in between the two of you.
hanni moves her foot in a small circle, probably without knowing since she looks so focused on the view in front of her.
“does your ankle feel better?”
“yeah, because of you.” she turns her head to face you, the distance between both of you grows smaller. hanni slides herself closer. “i really liked spending time with you here.”
“me too.”
her breath hitches. “i wish we could’ve had more time outside.”
“its fine.” you hesitate before reaching out to move her outgrown bangs away from her eye. “you should trim your bangs.”
“mhm.” hanni isn’t really listening, not when your hand is under her jaw.
you lean closer, noses nearly touching. hanni's eyes flutter shut, and you hesitate, your lips just a breath away from hers. her fingers nervously play with the neckline of your t-shirt, a silent invitation. with that small gesture, you tilt your head a little more and close the distance, your lips finally meeting hers.
it’s delicate at first, short and swift. the two of you part a few millimeters away before you kiss her again, each kiss growing longer and more comfortable. it feels right, perfect – all of it. her hand slides up to your collarbone and rests at the base of your neck, sending shivers down your spine. hanni hums softly into the kiss, her nails pressing subtly into your skin. 
it feels like you’re on cloud nine.
the two of you part after a few more slow kisses, for real this time, now able to see the effect you have on each other.
your cheeks are bloodshot, and hanni’s cheeks mirror yours. 
“can i do that again?”
hanni nods, biting her lip slightly.
you lean forward again and kiss her as if its the only thing you’ve ever dreamed of. 
what catches you off guard is her putting a hand on your shoulder and squeezing it as she pushes you back slightly. your lips are still close, and you can feel her hot breath brushing your skin.
“w-wait, y/n.”
“hm? did you not like it? sorry oh my god–” she cuts your worries off with a kiss.
“no, i just–” hanni parts further, you feel your heart sink. she looks down at your lips for a moment. “--i want to keep going but before i can
 i’ve been thinking,”
“about?”
“us.”
“how?”
“y/n, you wanted to be friends at first, and so did i. trust me, i really really liked that, like, so much.”
you look at her, confused.
“but this isn’t what friends do, and i want to be more than friends but
 i just, i just really need to know why we ever stopped being how we used to. the full reason.”
“what?”
“there was something left out, i guess it felt vague – your apology.”
you can’t believe her, and the fact that the moment was halted because of it makes you a little irritated. “you’re still stuck on that?” the defensive, aggressive tone throws hanni off. “you’re– you’re joking, right?”
hanni pulls away fully now, taking her hands off of you. “why are you getting angry again, you can’t tell me the real reason, is that it?”
“hanni, i just–”
“you gave me an apology, but it wasn’t the full thing. that’s enough to be friends again, but to kiss you and have something beyond being friends
 i’d like a full explanation, you know?”
you scoff, shaking your head. “you’re still stuck on it.” you say unbelievably.
“of course i am! i want to know the full reason before we
 before this.” she points between the two of you
“i– i can’t hanni.”
“is it that bad?”
“i just, not now, please.” it’s too selfish and humiliating, besides, you’ve already kissed her. an explanation isn’t even necessary. 
“you can’t even tell me.” hanni looks at you, a feeling of betrayal seeps into her. “and you expect me to keep kissing you.”
“it’s not relevant! it’s not serious.”
“then tell me! what’s so hard y/n, what is so fucking difficult to confess.”
“i’m not arguing with you hanni, not now.” you sigh, standing up. “we should meet the others downstairs.”
“go on and avoid this like you did years ago, are you going to pop up next week and tell me you’re going abroad again or
?”
you don’t respond, mainly because you don’t trust yourself to say something that’ll keep the fire from bursting and growing. shaking your head, you grab your bag and put it on, looking at her again with a tongue poking the inside of your lip.
“let’s go.”
“go by yourself.”
“hanni, you’re on crutches.”
“go.” she spits, sounding sad, angry, and deceived. 
–
you’ve fucked up.
so badly.
hanni steps out of the elevator on her crutches, giving you a brief glance before heading over to minji and danielle. you frown, memories flooding back and making it feel like all the effort to reconnect was for nothing. you still managed to screw everything up.
you know you’re in trouble when she doesn’t let you help her onto the bus, when she stares out the window the whole ride back, and when she starts giving you the same cold treatment you gave her years ago.
after kissing hanni and then feeling rejected by her within the same hour, a heavy weight settles on your chest. you try to talk to her, you really do, but she doesn’t budge or respond, letting you sit with the consequences of your actions alone. the ride back feels like needles slowly, slowly poking into your skin, and you can’t do anything about it. 
–
hanni doesn’t leave your mind, even after two weeks of getting back to school, settling into your practices and winning districts – nothing helps the fact that your brain screams hanni hanni hanni. 
everytime you see her, you try to talk to her or interact, but she just won’t let it happen. 
even minji's exchanges with you are shorter now, more reserved, focusing mainly on school. you feel like you've dug a hole in the ground only to get stuck there, with all your progress leading to a pothole you can’t escape. it doesn’t help that every time you see hanni, you just want to hold her again, take care of her, and offer that same softness and genuine care. but you can't, and she won’t let you.
even after you two present your project together, with hanni complying just enough to give you a temporary moment of interaction, she quickly returns to her reserved self. it’s terrible because she’s still that same hanni you love when she’s not around you. you catch her laughing with her friends at lunch, smiling, looking pretty, and seeming unbothered by everything.
you might die if you don't get to interact with her normally again. every second, the thought of hanni smiling at you instead, maybe even kissing you and holding onto you like before, crosses your mind. you try to push it down, burying it deep into the back of your mind, locking it away; because the only way to try and live with it for the time being is to ignore it.
(it’s almost impossible.
screw that, it’s impossible.)
–
hanni catches sight of you from a few tables away in the lunchroom. you’re surrounded by cheerful, excited teammates, all celebrating the recent district win. even haerin, usually quiet and reserved, is more talkative and lively.
but you’re not.
her eyes meet yours for a fleeting second. she sees a flicker of hope in your gaze, and her heart clenches. she tries hard to look away, forcing herself to ignore you as she always does. despite the happiness and laughter around you, there’s a melancholy in your eyes that she can’t shake off, and it makes her heart ache. even with that, she can’t give in, she’s too afraid of false truths and feeling worse along the line.
“you haven’t touched your lunch.” minji points out. “hanni, you can’t keep doing this.”
“i have to.”
“i know she fucked up, but she’s come to me begging to talk to you. she’s hurt and regrets a lot. if you could let her explain, then maybe things will work out.”
“and what if it’s just a sugarcoated explanation? minji, i can’t feel like that again.”
“you’re already skipping meals, and i know it’s screwing you up too. could letting her back in really be any worse?”
hanni hates that minji is really smart. she’s right—she’s usually right, anyway. hanni knows she’s partly to blame for letting the crack in your relationship start to form again. if the distance keeps growing, she’s not sure if it can be patched up the way it was before. the thought of losing what you two had, after all the effort to rebuild it, terrifies her.
“i don’t know minji.” she puts her head down, her voice being muffled in her arms as she says, “i really don’t know.”
“you have to let her in.”
“will she let me in?”
“y/n is not a bad person, from my judgement at least.” minji states. she puts a hand on hanni’s back, offering a comforting squeeze. “plus, my best friend can’t eat because of it.”
–
hanni watches you from afar, still on the school courts shooting hoops long after practice has ended. she knows you use practice to distract yourself and escape, and seeing you shoot like a relentless machine makes her feel worse than she already does. you miss one shot, then another, and finally, in frustration, throw the ball across the court, not far from where hanni stands.
from across the gym, you spot her standing in the doorway, frozen in place. your chest heaves with exertion, sweat dripping, and exhaustion settling in. just seeing hanni makes your body feel heavier, shoulders slumping and arms going limp.
she watches you with a frown but can’t hold your gaze any longer. you observe her biting her lip before she turns and leaves, and you're left alone with the weight of your emotions and the distance between you growing even larger.
it’s all my fault. it’s the truth, you can’t let it go on any longer. your legs hurt, you don’t know if shooting is worth it after seeing her because she’ll flash in your mind and you’ll miss each time. 
hanni’s not going to give in for another while, and you’re growing impatient. you’re not fourteen anymore, you can’t be stubborn and stupid for the rest of your life.
you can’t be the reason for your own regrets anymore, losing everything you’ve built with hanni – losing hanni – would be the last straw.
–
the sound of something hitting the window halts hanni’s efforts of falling asleep. she hasn’t been able to without melatonin, not when she’s been distancing herself from you.
she rubs her eyes and groans, then glances through the window, her breath fogging the cold glass as she scoffs at the sight of you standing outside. it's freezing, she knows, and even the a/c can't fend off the chill. she squints, trying to make out your figure in the dim light. you're in pajamas, a light long-sleeve shirt flapping loosely in the wind, and plaid pants that are clearly shit against the biting cold. the front lights aren't on, casting you in shadows, but she can still see enough to worry about you.
she can’t, she’s done everything she can not to talk to you, but she can’t just ignore the fact that you’re out in the cold and if she does brush you off you’ll end up sick the next day. hanni can give you the cold shoulder, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about you, she can’t have you catching a cold.
you wait there, feeling your fingers start to numb as the wind blows again. your teeth clammer against each other when you shiver, waiting there helplessly; the only way to get hanni back is to be vulnerable, if that means waking up stuffy and congested, then so be it.
"what the hell is wrong with you, y/n?" hanni says, her tone more worried than angry. she rushes over to you, grabbing your hand and dragging you inside. "it's past midnight, are you insane?"
“hanni let me apologize, please. no bullshit this time, full truth.”
“y/n,” hanni sighs, looking at you closely. the lamp in her living room hits one side of your face, showing the slight tint of red on your cheeks and nose. “come upstairs. fuck you’re so lucky my parents aren’t home.”
“thank you.”
“yeah, whatever.” she says, but so quietly that you can’t even hear it.
you follow her like a lost dog up the stairs and into her room, she closes the door, then turns on her desk lamp. 
hanni hears your breath shake. “there’s a reason behind everything i do.”
“don’t sugarcoat anything y/n. i’ve given you a second chance, you’re lucky i’m giving you a third.”
“i know, i’m the luckiest person already after being able to be your friend. and i want that again, no, let me be clear.” you step closer to her, head tilted down to meet her features. shes unable to tear away from your gaze, stuck in place. somehow, you look even cuter with your rosy cheeks and ruined hair from the wind, and those pajamas make you look like an adorable idiot. “it’s not an excuse, but people are so stupid when they’ve just become teenagers.”
“clearly.”
“i know.” you sigh out again. she’s looking up still, dead into your eyes that soften upon just seeing her and it’s like there’s a whole world in your pupils as they dilate. “look, i don’t want to regret more than i already do. i was stupid, i never liked anyone, – romantically – until you.”
“what?”
“hanni, i found you so pretty and amazing and we were fucking young and you were my only friend. i couldn’t even make friends when i went to korea, you know? no one was as striking as you. i’ve made friends here but they’re nothing like you. it’s just so embarrassing and terrible to admit, i’ve been running around it, in circles really. that’s why i’ve never told you, that’s why i get so mad at the mere mention of it because it’s just so
 it frustrated me.”
“what are you saying y/n?”
“hanni.” your voice lowers and your lips twitch. “ all those years, they were frustrating and confusing and screwed up my brain that wasn’t even fully developed. i’ve loved you for more years than i can count on one hand. i never knew that, really, until we got to middle school. i was so scared my feelings would get in the way and you had all these other friends that made you laugh more than me. i was scared you would grow out of me, i hated the idea of you with anyone else but me.”
silence follows, hanni’s brows upturn and her jaw drops slightly. the red glazing your cheeks is much more apparent, so deep that she might even be able to see it without the soft light in her room. 
“i shouldn’t have been so insecure and stupid and selfish and–” you pinch the bridge of your nose and sigh. “i’m sorry. and i’m still in love with you more than you’ll ever know, and after kissing you i know that’s not going away. i know that to fix everything i need to be honest and i couldn’t even do that and i–”
“you like me?” hanni says, surprised isn’t enough to explain how she feels.
“what?”
“it’s all because you liked me? you did this because you were in love with me? y/n, oh my god.”
“i understand if you’re mad hanni i really do–”
“no– yes. i’m pissed.” she looks at you defeatedly, but somehow relieved at the same time. “you’re the stupidest person i know.” her voice is faint as she pieces everything together. 
“i know and i shouldn’t have–”
“no, shut up.” she watches your expression shift into confusion. her hands find their way to your face, cupping it like it’s the only thing they were meant to do. she whispers as she leans closer, “you dumbass just shut up.”
her lips are on yours again since the hotel, rushed and desperate and everything in between. 
naturally, your hands find their way to her waist, holding her close. you melt into each other, kissing and kissing because it's the only thing you can and want to do. warmth floods through you, getting rid of the cold of the night. hanni reverses the numbing sensation that you had felt, making you feel. what you’re feeling? there’s not much that can describe that, you just know that everything in this moment is perfect. she's perfect—her against you, with you, close to you. her lips, her presence, just her—hanni.
both of you pull away at the same time after running short on breath. she stares at you, plays with your hair, and kisses you again. 
hanni does anything she can to keep close to you, right there in the middle of her room on the carpet that you helped her pick out. 
you don't think there's a single thought in your mind that isn't of hanni, not just because you’re kissing her, but really, in general. her fingers grip the back of your neck, her are lips soft and warm against yours, and she groans lightly into you. the heat radiates off her skin, wrapping you in a comforting warmth that seeps into your bones. 
and it feels right to move over, hanni figures. she guides you over to her bed, praying that you two don’t trip when she redirects you over to her matress, climbing into your lap. she pulls away again, slowly.
your lips have a mind of their own, following hers even if they’re starting to get puffy. you’re unsure whether or not you can even breathe. 
she slides her hands to the sides of your neck, then up just below your jawline. her skin brushes against you and goosebumps roam up your spine. 
“you’re so stupid.”
“uh huh.” you mumble, staring at her like a loser. “yeah.”
she giggles, then her lips form a loving smile. “you’re in love with me.” she says, almost like she’s convincing herself. “you love me.”
bashfully, you respond, “yeah.”
“and because of that you avoided me.”
your hands loosen around her waist. “sorry.”
“no, you’re an idiot.”
“i know hanni, i know.”
“no you don’t.” she slides one hand back into your hair and it feels like time has slowed down. “i’ve been in love with you, dumbass.”
“you– you have?”
“we just madeout for almost an hour – probably –  yes, i’m in love with you. i had a crush on you when we were twelve– i’ve had a crush on you since.” she leans closer, her lips ghosting over yours. “you’re so, so, dumb y/n. kiss me again and i’ll forgive you, i guess.”
“uh huh.” you practically respond into the kiss, meeting her eagerly. 
it feels right just kissing her like that, slow and steady, then quick and longing until your lips are swollen and numb. she falls down onto the bed tiredly, coaxing you to follow. even after taking each other’s breath away, you’re cautious of the boundaries and what you can do. you’re still an asshole for being stupid and in love, you think you’ll always be an asshole because of that.
but hanni manages to wash away any worry, scooting closer into you and clinging onto you again. you feel her press a haste kiss on your neck and sigh sleepily, then mutter, “i’m just glad things turned out like this.”
“me too.”
“you still owe me a lot y/n.”
nodding slowly, you respond quietly, “okay, i’ll buy us bread tomorrow.”
“mhm,” she closes her eyes, and sighs happily when your fingers start to soothe her scalp. “and kiss me again.”
“that’s nothing.”
“good.” she murmurs. “you’re so warm. stay.”
hanni’s spent every moon thinking of you, being mad at you, missing you, and loving you regardless. you’ve spent every second doing this. it’s the feeling of being curled up together comfortably that makes up for everything – nothing can beat it, nothing’s better than hanni in your arms, right there, right now. 
you, hanni, together – that’s all that matters.
“i’m not going anywhere.” you promise, voice so thin it might break if the wind manages to seep through the closed windows. “never again.” 
841 notes · View notes
romaevelizz · 1 year ago
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˖ àŁȘâŠčSupervision
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T. IIDA x Fem!reader ˖ àŁȘâŠč
Sum: Your class rep supervising you while studying, but even with supervision not a lot gets done..
Warnings: suggestive themes! Kissing, touchy feely stuff, fluff, not proofread.
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.˚₊‧ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ‧₊˚.
“I don’t wanna do this..” your groaned your face falling into the book.
A sigh could be heard from next to you, you left your face turn making eye contact with the class pres. “ You have to be ready for tomorrow.” He spoke his hand adjusting his glasses.
“But it boring— what if-.” She started.
“No. You have notes to take Mr. Aizawa had I trusted me to supervise you. You’re the one who got in trouble Y/n.” He spoke.
It’s true you had gotten in trouble you might have been caught out past curfew, to be fair it wasn’t the most terrible study session Tenya was your boyfriend the only thing that made it bad was he was giving you the cold shoulder he was upset. You knew better even worse you got caught.
“I know, I’m sorry Ten
” you mumbled, your body scooting closer to him.
“You don’t have to apologize to me, you just have to follow the rules.” He spook, his red eyes looking at you.
He looked good upset, you hated he was upset at you but god did he look good. “Can I make it up to you some how..” you spoke your voice soft, your eyes till with his as your hands trailed up his thighs.
“No.” His voice hard as he grabbed your wrist.
You only rolled your eyes. “Don’t be like that..” you spoke leaning forward your face close to his.
His brow corked “we’re still at school behave.”
You smiled, his hands moving from your wrist to your elbows. “Just one..” you whispered standing up over him.
He knew what your were doing, he didn’t like it but again it was just you two, alone in an extra study room at the school.
“One.” He said.
“Yay!” You replied leaning down your hands meeting his face, your glossy lips meeting his soft ones.
And one turned into two, three, four oh and how you were on his lap. Tenyas hands pressing against your back, his lips intertwined with yours.
“I thought you just wanted one..” you spoke breathlessly.
“I did.”
“You pulled me into your lap Tenya.”
Only a grunt as he continued to kiss you his hands trailing down you back his big hands gripping your hips, his hands soon slipping under the sides of your skirt, his fingers digging into your flesh.
Your hips adjusting as he massagesed your hips. Your lips never leaving his.
“Behave.” He spoke, his hands holding your hips still.
The kissing became more intense and he forgot about holding your hips, the care for studying lefty iid as mind as he make out with you. The quiet moans you let out as you kissed rove him crazy. Safe to say he was gone, detaching himself he looked at you, your lipstick smudged all around his lips. “What? What’s wrong?” you asked your hands on his shoulders.
He shook his head taking off his glasses folding the placing them on the desk. Not saying a word, his lips quickly meeting yours again. Oh- oh that was hot, you thought holy fuck.
Sadly things were cut short when his little friends barged in Midoriya and Todoroki and long with a few others. You both sat there for a minute, Tenyas hangs under your skirt, his shirt and tie all messed up aswell and his hair messy. And to top it off your lipstick all around his mouth.
“IM SORRY!” Midoriya yelled closing the door quickly.
Iidas face lit up, him quickly standing you up placing you back in the chair in front of him. “I Cant believe that just happen, oh no!” He panicked.
Then his eyes landed on you who looked up at him so innocently, “this is your fault.”
“My fault your hard yes, not my fault your friends walked in.” You spoke leaning back in the chair fixing your skirt.
He looked at you dumbfounded his face getting even redder. “Y/N!”
You laughed gathering your books together standing up. “I’ll leave you, your stiffy and your study group be my times up!” You smiled, kissing his lips once more befor walking twords the door.
“Might wanna sit down so it can be seen as much love.” You spoke looking over your shoulder giving him a wink.
Opening the door you make eye contact Kaminari, “he’s all yours gentleman.” You spoke.
“You sure looked like you ate him alive.” Kaminari said pointing at your boyfriend who was still a mess particularly the lipstick.
“Oops! Bye boys!” You smiled walking off.
˖ àŁȘâŠč
“How did you end up with L/n.” Mineta said glaring at iida.
“Yeah thought you’d be into more goody two shoes.” Kaminari laughed.
“She can be a good girl, today wasn’t one of those days.” He spoke fixing his glasses glancing over at Midoriya who couldn’t look at him.
“Crazy.”
3K notes · View notes
monzabee · 4 months ago
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the alchemy - cs55
masterlist || part 1 || part 3 ||
Summary: The one where not Carlos, nor you, have the power to fight the alchemy. 
Pairing: dad!carlos sainz x mom!reader 
Word Count: 7.2k
Warnings: absolute fluff (been a while), possible ovary explosion bc of dad!carlos, cursing (because i use way too many f-bombs in real life too), kids (apparently, it’s a tw for some people), i tried hating charles but it’s not happenning so a cheater redemption arc (kinda, he's trying okay??)
Author’s Note: hi, hey, hello!! first of all, thank you all so much for the love you showed for part one, i really appreciate it and i'm sorry that this part has been a little delayed, but i just wanted it to be just as drama-filled as the first part whilst still being a bit lighter so i hope i found the right balance for it. while we love dad!carlos, i felt like charles still deserved a chance to redeem himself and come to his senses so we love that redemption arc for him (well, kinda guess?). also, i know we have one more part of this little mini-series to go, a social media au (yay!), but i just wanted to let you all know, once again, that i do not have a taglist, and no i will not be making one!! however, i do appreciate all your support and comments, and please do let me know what you think about this part! thanks to @percervall once again, who had to listen me talk about this part for many many hours and who was kind enough to help me proofread!! i hope you guys enjoy! good morning, noon or night wherever you are, xoxobee 
Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms. 
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It only happened once every few lifetimes. 
You honestly did not expect to end up with one of your closest friends – especially not after you told your cheating husband that you were getting a divorce, after he chose his lover over you and your baby; and most definitely not after the said close friend told you that he would step up instead of your cheat of a husband.  
But there you are, in the arms of non-other than Carlos Sainz, your boyfriend, having just woken up by the excited pitter patter of feet right outside your bedroom door. “Carlos,” you whisper, nudging him softly to wake him up, “Carlos, wake up.” You watch as he stirs, and then buries his head onto his pillow mumbling all the reasons why he doesn’t want to be awake, but you just chuckle softly as you poke him again. “Carlos, please.” 
With a disgruntled grunt, you watch as his eyes open, and with a scratchy voice he whines, “What, amor, I was sleeping.” 
Rolling your eyes, you point to the bedroom door, “Listen,” you tell him, and watch as his eyes widen as realisation sets in at the same time his expression turns into a smiling one. “I think someone is excited for today.”  
“You think?” He retorts, snorting lightly as he pulls you closer, “That’s all he’s been able to talk about for weeks, amor.”  
“Well, can you blame him?” You nudge him, ignoring the sound of scraping of your son’s step stool outside your door. “He just wants to watch his father win.” Watching the smile on your boyfriend’s face grows as the door handle is jiggling, you point to the pillows with your head, “Let’s just pretend we’re asleep, he’ll be happier that way.”  
With a deep sigh, the happy kind, he pulls you closer to himself – at the right time too, as you hear the patter of footsteps getting closer. With a tug at the comforter, you hear, “Papa, wake up.” You can hear Carlos, badly, muffling a chuckle by burying his head deeper into your neck, but the little voice beside him is non-relenting. “Papa! You promised me we’d go to the race today!”  
“Carlos,” you whisper covertly, “you’re going to make him cry.”  
Giving you a look that silently says, No I won’t, he turns towards the little intruder in your bedroom, quickly gathering him in his arms as he puts him on the bed next to you. The sound of laughter coming from two of the most important men in your life bring a sleepy smile to your face as you watch Carlos tickle your son despites his protests for him to stop.  
“Mommy!” Your son exclaims, climbing over Carlos to reach you, “Tell Papa to stop! We need to get ready!” His face is flushed with excitement and laughter, a sight that fills your heart with warmth. 
“Alright, alright,” you say, giggling as you pull him into a hug, “let’s get ready then. You don’t want to be late for your big day, do you?” 
Carlos finally stops his playful assault, sitting up and stretching with a groan. “She’s right, buddy. We should all get up and get going. Lots to do before the race, you still remember our plan for breakfast?” Your son’s eyes light up even more, if that were possible, and he scrambles off the bed, running back to his room to get dressed. You and Carlos exchange a glance, something you seem to do more now than ever.  
You wait until Rafael is out of the hearing distance before you tilt your head sideways and narrow your eyes in question, “What plan are you talking about?” 
“Nothing for you,” he boops your nose with his pointer finger as he straightens up and gets out of the bed, “to worry your pretty little head about. Just come to the kitchen when you’re ready.” 
You raise an eyebrow, intrigued but willing to play along. “So, you think I’m pretty?” you ask, batting your eyes at him exaggeratedly as he gently shoves you back into the bed. Getting up and stretching, which you shamelessly take the opportunity to ogle him, you watch him with a smile as he heads towards the kitchen following your son. Getting ready consists of brushing your teeth and hastily throwing on a robe for you, too anxious to see what you son and husband cooking up in the kitchen – literally.  
The scene in the kitchen is enough to melt your heart on its own – Rafael is standing on his trusty step stool at the counter, his little hands busy arranging an assortment of fruits on a plate. The concentration on his face is evident by the way his tongue peeks out slightly in that adorable way he does when he’s focused, a habit that he picked up from his father. Your boyfriend, on the other hand, is busy with flipping something in a pan, shirtless might you add.  
“Oh my God, look at my boys!” You croon, leaning against the doorframe with a playful grin. “You even have matching hats and everything!” 
“Boys?” Carlos scoffs, turning to Rafael and pointing his finger towards you, “Can you believe her?” He then turns to you as he places his hands on his hips and puffs out his chest. “We are not boys, amor, we are men.” 
You chuckle at his exaggerated display of masculinity, shaking your head as you walk further into the kitchen. “Oh, of course, how could I forget? The two manliest men I know,” you tease, your voice dripping with playful sarcasm. 
Rafael, picking up on the banter, puffs out his little chest just like his father, mimicking his stance. “Yeah, Mommy! We're strong, right, Papa?” 
Carlos grins, his eyes twinkling as he looks at Rafael. “That’s right, we’re the strongest men in the world." He turns back to you, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “And we make the best breakfast too. Isn’t that right, Raf?” 
“Yes!” Rafael exclaims, beaming with pride as he holds up the plate of perfectly arranged fruit. “Look what I made, Mommy!” 
You lean down to inspect his handiwork, smiling softly. “Wow, this looks incredible, sweetheart. You’re so talented!” You give him a big kiss on the cheek, making him giggle. 
Carlos steps closer, holding out a fork with a piece of pancake speared on it. “And how about a taste test, amor?” His voice is softer now, the playful tone giving way to something more tender. 
You take the fork from him, taking a bite of the pancake. The fluffiness and warmth of it fill your senses, and you can’t help but let out a contented sigh. “This is amazing, Carlos. You’ve outdone yourself.” 
He watches you with a satisfied smile, clearly pleased with your reaction. “Only the best for you.” 
Rafael, not wanting to be left out, grabs a piece of fruit and holds it up to you. “Try mine too, Mommy!” 
You take the fruit from him, savouring the sweetness as you chew. “Delicious! You’re both going to spoil me with all this great food.” 
Carlos chuckles, wrapping an arm around your waist as he presses a kiss to your temple. “That’s the plan,” he murmurs against your skin, making you shiver slightly. “I can also spoil you in the other way you like,” his voice drops enough for only you to hear.  
You glance up at him, meeting his playful yet heated gaze, and feel a blush creep up your cheeks. “Carlos,” you murmur, half-warning, half-inviting, as Rafael happily oblivious to the exchange, chatters away about his breakfast creation. “I would like to still be able to walk by the time we get to the paddock.” 
But Carlos just smirks, leaning in to brush his lips against your ear, his breath warm and intoxicating. “Later, amor,” he promises, his voice thick with affection and mischief. 
Before you can respond, Rafael tugs at your robe, breaking the spell. “Mommy! Let’s eat now!” His voice is filled with the kind of innocent excitement that only a child can muster, and it instantly brings you back in the present moment. 
You smile down at him, ruffling his hair affectionately. “Alright, let’s eat. I’m starving.” Carlos gives you one last knowing glance before stepping back to grab the plates. As the three of you settle down at the table, you try to ignore his lingering gaze that makes your heart race just a bit faster, though you’re not exactly that successful. 
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It would be safe to say that it had been a crazy few years for Carlos Sainz. Or at least, that’s what Charles would say – if, you know, anybody was to ask him his opinion. First, he had lost his seat at Ferrari, and Charles really felt for him at first; after all, he was his teammate. But he was also the man who ended his marriage, so his feelings for Carlos changed for the worse very quickly. The whole situation had him coming to some revelations.  
First revelation he came to was the fact that he was wrong for cheating on his wife, however complicated the situation might be. He had tried to justify it to himself, blaming the stress and the strain, but deep down, he knew there was no excuse for what he’d done. 
Second revelation was that you deserved to be happy, with or without him – he was just being petty because it was with his old teammate. You deserved to be happy, and while Charles could admit that in theory, accepting that your happiness was now tied to Carlos was a bitter pill to swallow. 
Third, and probably the biggest, revelation was that he had royally screwed up when he chose the other woman over you and your son, and it was a loss that he mourned every single day. If he thought seeing Carlos thrive after his own life was crumbling down was hurting his ego, seeing Carlos be the father to his son, was a thousand times worse.  
Life took an interesting turn for Carlos after that night at the hotel in Monte Carlo. You had no expectations for him, you didn’t expect him to stay true to his words and be there for you and your baby. But that was the thing, because he kept his promise. He was at your door the next morning with a short list of apartments and penthouses in Monte Carlo. Anticipating your need of getting out of the country, he was prepared – he also looked at apartments in New York, houses in LA and townhouses in London (the few apartments he chose in Madrid also didn’t escape you, but it was a conversation you weren’t ready to have yet). So, when you were having, yet another breakdown in front of him, he just stood next to you and held you until you calmed down. He was always next to you, somehow managing his schedule for the racing season and coming out to see you between races. He kept true to his promise as he made waffles for you at midnight, grumbling about how pancakes were superior, and he held your hand when you were in the delivery room even though you were probably close to breaking the poor man’s hand. The bigger shock came when he announced that he would not be racing for the next season – something he had conveniently not told you in the months leading up to your pregnancy. It also led up to your first fight, and your first real confrontation since this unexpected journey began. The news that Carlos wouldn’t be racing the next season blindsided you. It wasn’t just the fact that he had made such a monumental decision without consulting you; it was the realisation that he had chosen you and your child over the sport he loved so deeply. 
“What do you mean you’re not racing next season?” you had asked, your voice edged with disbelief. You were standing in the kitchen of the new apartment he had helped you find, your baby—your son—napping peacefully in the next room. Carlos was casually leaning against the counter, arms crossed, as if he had just announced something as mundane as what was for dinner. 
He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, a habit you had come to recognize as a sign that he was about to say something serious. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while,” he said, his voice calm, and God it drove you insane how calm and rational he was being with a decision so irrational to you. “And after everything that’s happened... I just think it’s the right decision for now.” 
“But racing is your life,” you insisted, the weight of his words settling in. “I don’t understand how you can just walk away from it.” 
Carlos met your gaze, his brown eyes steady and full of determination. “It’s not about walking away,” he explained. “It’s about priorities. You and Rafael... you’re my priority now. I want to be here for you both, not halfway across the world, missing out on everything.” 
The sincerity in his voice made your heart ache. For so long, you had been used to being let down, to promises that were made and then broken. But here was Carlos, standing in front of you, willing to give up something he loved more than anything for you and your son. 
“That’s not fair to you,” you whispered, feeling the tears welling up in your eyes. “I don’t want to be the reason you give up on your dreams.” 
Carlos stepped closer, gently cupping your face in his hands. “You’re not taking anything away from me,” he assured you. “You’re giving me something I didn’t even know I needed. I’m choosing this, because I want to. I want to be here for you, to be the father Rafael deserves. I want us to be a family.” 
His words broke through the wall you had been holding up, and you let the tears fall. It wasn’t just about the sacrifice he was making; it was about the fact that he was doing it willingly, without hesitation, because he wanted to be with you and Rafael. It was a love that was deeper than anything you had ever known, and it terrified you as much as it filled you with hope. 
“But what if you regret it?” you asked, your voice trembling with the weight of your fears. 
“I won’t,” Carlos said firmly, his thumbs gently brushing away your tears. “I know what I want. And if I ever go back to racing, it’ll be when we’re ready. When we both decide it’s the right time. But for now, this is where I need to be.” 
You searched his eyes for any sign of doubt, but there was none. He was as serious as ever, and in that moment, you realized that this wasn’t just about him making a choice— it was about him choosing you, over and over again, in a way no one ever had before. 
The argument you had anticipated fizzled out before it could even begin. There was nothing left to fight about, not when he had laid his heart bare for you. All you could do was fall into his arms, holding onto him tightly as you let the weight of his decision sink in. It was overwhelming, knowing that someone loved you that much, that they would uproot their entire world just to be by your side. 
So, yeah, Carlos Sainz had not raced for the 2025 season. If it were up to him, he would stay with the two of you for the 2026 season as well, but you and Carlos Sainz Sr managed to convince him to get back to the real world, no matter how much he was enjoying being a stay-at-home dad. But the biggest shock for the world, and Charles, wasn’t that Carlos was returning to the F1 grid – no, the biggest shock was that he was returning to the F1 grid in one of the most coveted seats; right next to Max Verstappen. The reaction to the news had been mixed. Some were thrilled to see him back, eager to see what he could do in a car as competitive as the Red Bull. Others were skeptical, wondering if a year away from the sport had dulled his edge. For Charles, the news was a bitter pill to swallow. Carlos wasn’t just returning to the grid—he was stepping into one of the most sought-after seats in F1. But more than that, it was the reminder that Carlos had taken something else from him, something far more personal and painful. Watching Carlos step into his new role at Red Bull, knowing that he was now part of your life and Rafael’s life in a way Charles never could be, was a constant, aching reminder of everything he had lost. 
And so began the Leclerc-Sainz rivalry – which although sounds riveting, is probably the reason why you had to visit your cardiologist more times than necessary within the last couple of years. On the surface, it was the perfect storyline: two former teammates, now on opposing sides, battling it out on the track in some of the most intense and thrilling races the sport had ever seen. But for you, it was far from entertainment. Each race weekend became a new source of anxiety, and Carlos knew how much it affected you, so he tried his best to keep the rivalry on the track. He would reassure you, telling you that whatever happened during the race, it wouldn’t change how he felt about you or Rafael. But even he couldn’t deny that the tension between him and Charles was personal. It was more than just racing—it was about proving something, not just to the world, but to themselves and each other. And so, race after race, you found yourself on an emotional rollercoaster. The thrill of seeing Carlos perform at his best was always accompanied by the fear of what might happen if things went wrong. The rivalry wasn’t just a storyline for the media—it was a real, living thing that had a profound impact on your life. 
So, when Rafael told you that he wanted to watch his father race live, you were hesitant to agree. The thought of bringing your son into that world—where emotions ran high, and the stakes were even higher—filled you with dread. The last thing you wanted was for Rafael to witness the intensity of the rivalry that had consumed not just Carlos and Charles, but your entire life. 
Carlos, however, was adamant. He knew how much it meant to Rafael to see him race, to be a part of something that had been such a significant part of Carlos’s life before Rafael was born. “He needs to see it,” Carlos told you one evening as you sat together, discussing Rafael’s request. “He needs to know what I do, why it’s important to me, and why I went back to racing in the first place.”  
You couldn’t deny that Carlos had a point. Rafael idolized his father and seeing him in action would only strengthen the bond between them. But the idea of watching the race unfold, of seeing Carlos and Charles go head-to-head while your son was there, was almost too much to bear. The days leading up to the race were a blur of preparation and anxiety. Carlos did his best to reassure you, but the tension was palpable. He understood your fears and promised to keep things professional, but you both knew that once the lights went out, everything would be on the line. So, you weren’t exactly surprised that your boyfriend spent the entire morning buttering you up and getting you to relax as much as possible about the day ahead of you.  
And to be perfectly fair, he was right for the most part. It had been fine from the moment you made it into the paddock, which somehow worked wonders on your anxiety. As you made your way to the circuit, Rafael’s excitement was infectious. He was practically bouncing in his seat, his little face pressed against the window as he took in the sights. You couldn’t help but smile, his joy momentarily easing the knot of anxiety that had been tightening in your chest since the moment you agreed to come to the paddock in the first place.  
Seeing him so happy and in his element, you know instantly that the paddock, no matter in which country, is going to become his safe place. Rafael keeps asking Carlos questions about everything from how they manage to keep the cars so clean to what would happen if they didn’t wear helmets. And Carlos is patient as he answers all his questions, no matter how childish or obvious they might seem. So, when he told Rafael that maybe, just maybe, he might end up in one of the cars he admires so much one day, you know your son won’t miss the beat. “Can I?” He asks you, eyes widened with a pleading look as he clasps his hands together under his chin, “Please, Mommy, I promise I’ll be very careful.”  
“Absolutely not,” you shake your head, mind immediately starting to think about all the things that could go wrong, “it’s so dangerous! Just think about how afraid you’d be of the speed.”  
Rafael scoffs, arms crossed on his chest as he pleads through the pout he has on his face, “I’m not afraid of the speed! Papa, tell her I’m not afraid of the speed!” 
Carlos reaches over Rafael’s head as he takes off his cap and ruffles his hair, which manages to get a series of giggles from the little boy, and he affirms, “You are not afraid of the speed, but your mother is right.” You have to hold in your laughter when you see the indignant look on Rafael’s face, but Carlos continues talking as he signals for his son to listen, “We can talk about it when you are older, but for right now you are my lead strategist, capisce?” 
Rafael steers his pout towards you, and you shrug innocently in response, which gets a resigning sigh from him. “That’s fine, I guess.” He mumbles, and points to the garage door behind the table the three of you are sitting, “Can I look at your car again?” 
“Be careful, and make sure you tell Caco where you are.” Carlos reminds him, as Rafael excitedly scurries off toward the garage, leaving you and Carlos to share a quiet moment. 
Carlos leaned back in his chair, a content smile playing on his lips as he watched Rafael dart off. “He’s got the bug,” he says, a hint of pride in his voice. 
You sigh, shaking your head playfully. “I know. He’s already got the attitude. I don’t think I’m ready for him to jump in a kart and never look back.” 
Carlos reaches for your hand, his touch grounding you. “We’ll keep him safe,” he says quietly, his gaze meeting yours. “I promise. Whatever happens, we’ll make sure he’s ready, and we’ll protect him from the worst of it.” 
You nod, squeezing his hand in return, trusting him like you always have. As you sit together, watching Rafael’s excitement fill the garage, the sweet moment is interrupted by a voice both of you know very well. “Seriously? You’re using him to get to me on a race day now?”  
Your fingers nearly crush your poor boyfriend’s hand as you look at the intruder, your heart immediately racing. You turn to see Charles standing there, his expression a mix of frustration and disbelief. His eyes flicker from Carlos to you, then toward the garage where Rafael had just run off. “Excuse me?” You manage to get out, your voice sharp with surprise. The audacity of his accusation stings more than you expected. Charles' gaze hardens as he steps closer, clearly not backing down. 
“You heard me,” Charles says, his tone edged with bitterness. “Bringing Rafael here, right in the middle of everything... it’s not a coincidence. You’re just trying to—” 
“To what?” Carlos cuts in, his voice calm but firm. His protective instincts kick in as he stands, placing himself between you and Charles. “To have a good day with our son? To let him enjoy the race?” 
Charles scoffs, shaking his head. “He’s not your son, he’s mine. Stop fooling yourself into thinking you’re his father just because you’re here.” 
The words hit like a punch to the gut, and for a moment, everything goes silent. Carlos' expression tightens, but he doesn’t move, his body still a shield between you and Charles. You feel your breath catch in your throat, the weight of Charles’ words hanging heavy in the air. “I know who his father is, Charles,” Carlos says, his voice calm but steely. “And considering the fact that he doesn’t even know you exist, I’d say me being here is more than proof that I am his father.” 
Charles' jaw clenches, and his eyes flicker with something raw—pain, jealousy, frustration, all mixed together. “You think you can just step in and take my place? Be the dad, play happy family with my son?” 
“Cabrón,” Carlos warns, and though you’ve heard him use that nickname for his friends countless of times, this voice is devoid of all affection, “you lost all right to call yourself Rafael’s father when you decided to choose whatever flavour of the month you were with at the time.” You feel your heart race, not from fear, but from the sheer intensity of the moment and the murderous look on Carlos’ face. Carlos steps forward, his voice low but terse. “You think being a father is about biology? About showing up when it’s convenient for you? Rafael doesn’t even know who you are because you’ve never been there for him. I have. I’ve been the one tucking him in, I've been there when he was sick and crying, and I’m the one showing him love every single day.”  
Charles flinches, the sting of the truth evident in his expression. For a moment, the fire in his eyes dims, replaced by something else— regret, perhaps. But it’s gone as quickly as it appeared, and he straightens his posture, trying to regain control of the situation. “I made mistakes,” Charles says, his voice quiet but defiant. “But you can’t just erase me from his life. He has a right to know who his real father is.” 
Carlos’ gaze doesn’t waver, his protective instincts blazing. “Rafael knows who his real father is. He may not understand all the details yet, but he knows who’s been there for him. And when the time comes, when he’s ready, we’ll tell him the truth. But that decision isn’t yours to make anymore, Charles. You gave up that right a long time ago.” 
“You’re just going to sit there and let him talk to me like this?” Charles hisses, turning towards you in an attempt to find sympathy. His eyes are pleading, but there’s anger simmering beneath the surface. 
Your chest tightens as you meet his gaze, feeling the weight of everything that has been left unsaid between the three of you for so long. You take a deep breath, your voice soft but firm when you finally respond. “It’s time to let go, Charles.” Charles' face falls at your words, the weight of their finality hitting him hard. His lips part slightly as if he wants to argue, but no words come. The tension in the air is suffocating, each second stretching out painfully. Carlos remains silent, standing tall beside you, his hand subtly resting on your back for support. He knows this conversation is yours to finish. “It’s not about erasing you from Rafael’s life,” you continue, your voice steady though your heart is pounding in your chest. “It’s about doing what’s best for him. And right now, that means protecting him from the confusion and hurt that the fact that you were too much of a coward to choose him.” 
Charles takes a step back, the anger in his expression dimming into something more fragile. His eyes search yours, perhaps looking for a trace of the bond you once shared, but it’s clear that things have changed too much. Too much time has passed. “I’m not trying to hurt him,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper. “I just
 I apologised countless of times, what more do you want from me? I am sorry, okay?” 
“Are you quite done?” Charles flinches at your sharp tone, the weight of your words settling heavily between the three of you. His gaze drops to the ground as if he’s searching for something to say, but nothing comes. Carlos stands steady beside you, his presence strong, comforting, even. “I am sorry, too, about it all.”  
You can feel Carlos’ confused stare on you, and Charles looks at you with the same expression as he asks, “You... do?” 
“I’m sorry that you were cheating on me from the start, I’m sorry you were too weak to stay faithful to me after we got married,” you continue, the words heavy but resolute as they fall from your lips. Charles' expression shifts, a mixture of guilt and pain crossing his face. Carlos’ hand tightens slightly on your back, offering silent support as you finally lay bare what you’ve held inside for so long. “I’m sorry I ignored it for as long as I did, and I’m sorry that I ever found out.” Charles’ face hardens, his eyes clouded with guilt and perhaps a hint of defensiveness as your words hit him. The weight of what you're saying seems to pull him down, and he takes a deep breath as if trying to absorb the impact. He opens his mouth to speak, but you cut him off, not willing to let this moment slip away before you say everything that’s been weighing on your heart. “I’m sorry I ever found out about the lies, but most of all, I’m sorry for Rafael. He deserved better, he deserved a father who was present and loved him without conditions,” you say, your eyes locking with Charles’. “You weren’t there, Charles, you weren’t there before Rafael, and you weren’t going to be there after him. So, I suppose what I’m not sorry for is falling in love with a man who was courageous enough to fill that role for both me and him.” Charles’ lips part as if to argue, but no words form. His eyes betray the guilt and regret he’s been carrying, but there’s nothing left for him to say. He knows it. You know it. Even the mechanics and people around you who have stopped what they are doing to watch this whole thing go down know it. “Finally, I’m sorry that you felt the need and audacity to come down here, now not only have you ruined our marriage, but you’ve also ruined my day-off which I intended to spend with my boyfriend, and our son.” 
Charles flinches at your final words, his face crumpling under the weight of it all. The sting of your truth, laid bare for everyone to hear, leaves him speechless. His bravado has completely evaporated, replaced by a hollow sense of regret and defeat. He opens his mouth as if to respond but quickly closes it, realizing there’s nothing he can say that will undo the damage he caused, the pain he inflicted, or the years he lost. His eyes flicker to Carlos, who stands steady, unmoved by Charles’ turmoil. There’s no room for pity here. “I—” Charles begins but stops as Carlos raises his hand.  
“I think you’ve said enough,” his voice lacks all sympathy for his old friend, his old teammate, “it’s best you should go before you distress my girlfriend, or my son any further.  
Charles’ eyes widen slightly at Carlos’ words, the final blow landing hard. He looks as if he’s been physically struck, his shoulders slumping as any remaining fight drains from him. His gaze flickers between you and Carlos, searching for something—anything—but finding no redemption, no sympathy. There’s nothing left to say. 
He swallows hard, his lips pressed into a tight line, before finally nodding in a reluctant acceptance. “Fine,” he mutters, his voice barely audible. He turns on his heel, walking away with slow, defeated steps. The tension that had gripped the air slowly begins to dissipate as he disappears into the distance, leaving only the echoes of his footsteps behind. 
Carlos turns to you, his hand still resting on your back, but now it’s a comforting gesture rather than a protective one. His expression softens as he searches your face. “Are you okay?” he asks gently. 
You take a deep breath, feeling the weight of everything that’s just happened, but also a sense of relief. “I think so,” you reply, your voice steady despite the emotional whirlwind you’ve just gone through. “It needed to happen.” 
Carlos nods, his thumb brushing soothingly against your back. “He’s not going to ruin this for us. Not today, not ever.” 
You smile faintly, grateful for his support. “No, he’s not. He’s gone now, and I’m finally free of it all.” 
“We’re free of him,” Carlos adds, a reassuring strength in his voice. “You, me, and Rafael. That’s what matters.” 
“Just promise me you’ll be careful on the track today,” you plead, chin resting on his chest as you look up to him.  
Carlos chuckles softly, his warm smile easing the tension that still lingers. “I promise,” he says, his voice light but sincere. He tilts his head, giving you a playful wink. “But you know me, I can’t drive too carefully. It's in my nature to push the limits a bit.” 
You roll your eyes with a small laugh, but your heart flutters slightly at the thought of him racing. It’s something you’ve grown used to, but there’s always that edge of worry. "Just... don’t make me regret asking," you tease, though the concern in your voice is real. 
Carlos leans down, brushing his lips gently against your forehead, the gesture filled with tenderness. "I’ll come back to you both, safe and sound," he whispers softly, his forehead resting against yours for a brief moment. "Always." 
You smile, feeling reassured by his words, and you give him a small nod. "Alright. Go show them what you’re made of, then." 
As Carlos pulls away, you can see the familiar spark in his eyes, the passion and excitement that he always carries before a race. He gives your hand one last squeeze before turning to head toward the car. You watch him for a moment, taking in the sight of him—confident, composed, and ready for whatever comes next. Just before he reaches the garage doors, he turns back and flashes you that signature grin that always makes your heart skip a beat. “For you and Rafael,” he calls out. Your smile widens as you watch him go, knowing that no matter what happens on the track today, you’ll always have each other. 
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It’s not hard for you to find Rafael when you head back to the garage yourself. He’s completely engrossed in conversation with one of Carlos' engineers, pointing out different tools and parts of the car with wide-eyed fascination. His little hands gesture excitedly, and the engineer listens with a warm smile, clearly amused by Rafael’s enthusiasm. Carlos stands off to the side, leaning casually against the wall, arms crossed, watching his son with a look of pure affection and pride. His eyes sparkle as he takes in the sight of Rafael’s excitement, and there’s a certain softness to his expression that makes your heart swell. 
You walk over, standing beside Carlos, who doesn’t take his eyes off Rafael but greets you with a small grin. “He’s already talking like he’s part of the team,” Carlos says quietly, his voice filled with pride. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s taking over the pit crew in a few years.” 
You chuckle softly, watching Rafael explain something animatedly, his little voice echoing through the garage. “He’s got your passion,” you say, leaning into Carlos slightly, feeling the warmth of his presence. 
Carlos hums in agreement, his arm slipping around your waist. “Maybe,” he says, his tone affectionate, “but the way he talks about everything
 that’s all you. He’s got your curiosity, your heart, so, all my favourite parts of you.” 
“My boyfriend the charmer,” you mumble as you lightly hit him on his chest.
Carlos chuckles, catching your hand gently against his chest before pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles. “Just telling the truth,” he murmurs, his eyes twinkling as he holds your gaze for a moment longer. “You deserve all the charm in the world.” 
You roll your eyes playfully, though you can’t hide the smile tugging at your lips. “You’re lucky you’re good at this, or I might think you’re just trying to get out of bath time for the next few days.” 
Carlos laughs, his warm, deep voice sending a wave of comfort through you. “I’d never do that. Bath time is part of the job.” He leans in slightly, lowering his voice with a mischievous grin. “But if I do this race right, maybe we can negotiate something.” 
You raise an eyebrow, feigning suspicion, but you can’t help the flutter in your chest at the way he always manages to make you feel light and cared for, even in the most mundane moments. “Alright, we’ll see how you perform today,” you tease back “if you win, I’ll let you put a baby in me, how about that?” 
Carlos freezes for a moment, his eyes widening in surprise before a slow, playful grin spreads across his face. “You’re serious?” he asks, his voice filled with both excitement and disbelief. 
You nod, biting your lip, unable to hide your own smile. “If you win today, we can start thinking about it.” 
Carlos lets out a short laugh, running a hand through his hair as if trying to process what you just said. “Well, I’ve never been more motivated to win a race in my life,” he says, his eyes gleaming with a new intensity. 
You chuckle, your heart racing at the look on his face. "Just make sure you’re focused on the track and not
 well, other things." 
“Oh, I’ll be focused,” Carlos says, stepping closer and lowering his voice. “But now, I’ve got the best reason in the world to win.” He leans in, brushing his lips against your ear. “For you, and for giving Rafael a baby sister or a brother.” Your breath catches at the sincerity in his voice, and as he pulls back, he flashes you that charming grin again before heading off toward the car. You watch him go, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness settle in your chest. 
Eventually going behind the barriers and watching the race is harder than you’ve expected, you realise. As the laps go by, you keep glancing at Rafael, who’s glued to the action, his eyes wide with admiration for his dad. You smile at the way he clutches his little racing helmet, a miniature version of Carlos’ gear, his excitement evident. It’s clear he’s living every moment of the race through his dad’s performance, just as you are. When Carlos is in the lead, you hold your breath, willing him to stay ahead. When he’s fighting for position, you’re on the edge of your seat, cheering him on with every ounce of energy you have. 
As the final laps approach, you glance at the clock and then at Rafael, who’s practically bouncing with excitement. You can tell he’s just as invested in the outcome as you are. You squeeze his hand, giving him an encouraging smile, and he returns it with a determined nod. 
When Carlos crosses the finish line, the roar of the crowd is deafening, and you let out a cheer of your own, tears of joy welling up in your eyes. You look down at Rafael, who’s jumping up and down, his face beaming with pride and excitement. “He did it!” you shout, lifting him up in your arms as you join in the celebration. 
Caco and a couple of the mechanics help you and Rafael to get to the barriers, weaving through the throng of celebrating fans and team members. As you approach the barriers, Rafael’s excitement is noticeable. His eyes are wide with wonder, and he clutches his mini helmet tightly, bouncing with every step. Caco, with his warm, reassuring smile, offers a few words of congratulations and gives Rafael a high-five. Carlos comes into view, his car parked in the parc fermĂ©. His grin is infectious, and you can see the joy and relief in his eyes as he looks up at you and Rafael. The moment he gets out of the car, he’s enveloped by his team, but his gaze quickly finds you and Rafael. He finds his way to you after getting weighed and you can see him grab his cap before finally rushing towards you. Carlos scoops Rafael up into his arms, spinning him around as they both laugh, and then turns to you, his eyes shining with gratitude and affection. 
“Well, looks like we’ve got a baby sister or brother to start thinking about,” Carlos says with a wink, setting Rafael down so he can pull you a in for a kiss. 
You smile against his lips, feeling the warmth of his embrace and the joy of this moment. When you pull away, you look up at Carlos, your eyes sparkling with love and excitement. “We do, don’t we?” you say softly, your heart full as you take in the sight of your family together in this victorious moment. 
Rafael, still buzzing with excitement, tugs on Carlos’ sleeve, his little voice bubbling over with enthusiasm. “Papa, did you see me cheering? I was so loud!” 
Carlos laughs, his eyes crinkling with joy. “I heard you, buddy. You were the loudest cheerleader out there.” 
As the celebration continues around you, you feel a profound sense of contentment. The day’s events, the race, the emotions—everything has come together perfectly. You take a deep breath, savouring the feeling of being surrounded by the people you love most. 
Carlos pulls you close, wrapping his arms around both you and Rafael. “Thank you for everything today,” he murmurs, his voice filled with sincerity. “You’ve made this day even more special.” 
You rest your head on his shoulder, feeling the warmth of his embrace and the steady beat of his heart. “It’s been an incredible day,” you agree, looking out at the jubilant scene around you. “I wouldn’t have wanted to spend it with anyone else.” 
As you watch him savour the moments with your son before he needs to go for his interview and the podium celebrations, you realise just how lucky you are to have something that only happens every few lifetimes. 
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youaresimplylovely · 9 months ago
Text
Baby Girl.
Pairings: Carlos Sainz x Wife! Reader
Summary: Carlos has such a baby girl wife
Words: 616
Proofread!!
A/N: here's a one shot for u guys, I plan to make more and this is not connected to my story "Fast and Fabulous: A Driven Love" chapter 7 will be uploaded tomorrow:)
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People say in yours and Carlos' relationship, Carlos is and will always be the "baby girl". But your husband begs to disagree. In his point of view, you're the "baby girl" in the relationship. Well he says that in a good way. He knows in himself that his face card is very babygirlism but his wife, you shows a lot more of that.
"babyyy, where are you" You chirp, looking around the house with a pout on your face and a pink ribbon in your hand.
"I'm here baby" Carlos says from the living room, his eyes shifted from the tv to the stairs as he waits to see you go downstairs.
Your eyes widened with cuteness on your face. Sparkles could be seen on your eyes, hurrying to go downstairs to see Carlos smiling at you. He pats the area next to where he was sitting on the couch.
"There you are!" You say full of gleam and excitement. Sitting next to your husband, you look at him sweetly, fluttering those pretty eyelashes of yours.
"Yes? What does my baby need?" He says in a playful tone. Eventually looking back at the tv while watching the game of Real Madrid last week, still making sure to pay attention to you.
"Can I wrap a ribbon around your bicep?" You giggle, kicking your feet as you look at your husband with a big pout and the best puppy eyes you could ever give. You knew he couldn't say no to you.
He was caught off guard by your words, it's not that he dislikes it but he found your cute behaviour amusing. "A ribbon? On my bicep?" He laughs softly, turning his head to look at you. Soft hands caressing your cheeks.
"yeah! Can I? Pleaseeeee" you hold his hands that were on your cheeks, still giving him that pout and your puppy eyes.
God, Carlos would be lying if he said he didn't want to but he did. He loved your cute behaviour and all of these things you did. You really had him wrapped around your finger. He couldn't say no to you.
A chuckle comes out of his mouth and so does a content sigh. Gently taking his hands off your cheek as he rolls up the sleeve of his t - shirt revealing his biceps that God did you love so much.
"here baby" He smiles at you softly, planting a soft kiss on your forehead.
"Yay!!" You let out all the excitement in you. Smiling happily, you take the pink ribbon as you gently tie it around his biceps.
Carlos chuckled, he flexed his bicep causing the ribbon you tied to break. He giggles at your reaction that his strong muscles broke the cute pink ribbon you tied.
"Carlos!!" You whine, furrowing your eyebrows at him. You cross your arms pouting as you look at the broken ribbon.
"Ay baby I was kidding, you can put another one." He laughs, kissing your cheek looking at your with a big smile.
Your frowning and pouting soon faded once you re tied the ribbon. Sighing softly, you wrap your arm around his bicep. Gently laying your head against his shoulder.
"maybe I can tie your car keys with a pink ribbon too." You giggle, scooting in closer with him as much as possible.
Carlos chuckles at the thought of that but he liked it. It would mean having a reminder that you were always there with him in his car rides.
"whatever you want babygirl." He smiles softly, realizing how lucky he is with you. Then again he was right, you were the baby girl in the relationship but you were his baby girl.
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causenessus · 4 months ago
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for your event, can I request suna with ⭐ and 🍳? :D
almond butter. | suna r.
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suna x f!reader
written in 2nd pov and it tore me to shreds
prompts from 1k followers event -> ⭐ -> insomnia & 🍳 -> cooking
"you've adored me before, oh my good looking boy." from good looking (stripped) by suki waterhouse
word count: 1.1k words
notes: fluff <333 i can't help talking about how hot and sexy this man is everytime i write for him i am so in love with him i am barking from him HHHHH— suna being a good boyfriend and brother!!! i love this man to bits and pieces <3 1K WRITING EVENT IS BACK IN SESSION!!! AND SO AM I!! NESS!! FOR A SINGLE DAY!! WITH CRAPPY WRITING!! i'm obsessed with him and him only using petnames and also i see this as a scenario being quite early into your relationship with him <3 and basically this being the first time he says "i love you" to you (without realizing it) and you realizing you love him (and being too sleepy to say it)(this makes more sense once you read the drabble)
mango anon, if you see this <3 this is us <3 this is me making u almond butter toast <3
cw: food, talk about food chemistry and how your brain converts food to melatonin using carbs yay science! work is not exactly proofread
you’ve been waiting in your living room for the past 10 minutes.
well, actually, you’ve been waiting for the past two hours to go to sleep but your brain won't let you, no matter how tired you feel.
finally giving up any chance of falling asleep soon in your bed, you let the screen of your phone blind you as you shoot a quick text to your boyfriend:
y/n : taro are you awake? i can’t sleep :( insomnia’s kicking my ass again
you collapse back onto your pillow, throwing your phone haphazardly to your side with a groan. almost immediately, your head pops back up again at the sound of a buzz, and you blindly reach for your phone, looking at its screen.
rin <3 : yeah i am
rin <3 : give me 10 min
you weren’t entirely sure what he had meant by that; if he was busy, and would reply again in 10 minutes or if he was coming over.
you hoped it was the latter, but you'd find out soon enough. in the meantime, you moved to your living room, curled up on your couch under a heavy blanket, dimly lit by the warm light of a nearby lamp as you watched the seconds go by on your phone.
you always slept better with him, whether he was holding you in his arms or he was just simply in the room with you, it felt nice to be in his presence. just the thought of him was slowly making your eyes start to droop before the sound of the door unlocking made you perk up.
there he was, gently swinging your door open, a white plastic bag in hand. his yellow eyes fell on you as you looked him up and down, obviously judging his poor taste in clothing (sweats and a t-shirt) despite it being the middle of winter.
“hi baby,” he whispers, kicking off his shoes before immediately making a beeline towards you. you were peeking out from over the arm of your couch, and he knelt on the floor at the side of the couch, chin propped against the arm of it where you were, leaning in towards your face. there was a smile on his own as he spoke, “don’t fall asleep now, i just got here.”
you can only sigh quietly in response, happy to finally see him. “can’t help it,” you mumble, “‘was thinking of you.”
his smile only grows at your words, and he presses a chaste kiss to your forehead, letting a hand run down the side of your face, caressing it carefully. “you’re cute when you’re tired, doll,” he teases as you lean into his touch, too tired to even respond. “at least let me take care of you before you fall asleep though, yeah? i went to the store for you after all.”
“you didn’t have to buy me anything,” you whisper, reaching an arm out to him, trying to get him to join you on the couch.
he grabs your hand, rubbing a thumb lovingly over the back of it, but doesn’t let you pull him down, “of course i’ll buy you things, y/n. i love you. can i make you something to eat?”
you hum in thought, thinking about if you really want to allow him to move you, but when he tugs gently at your arm, you get up (begrudgingly) bringing your blanket with you to the kitchen.
you rest your arms on the counter you’re sitting at, lazily watching his figure move through your kitchen, pulling items out of his bag. “what’re you doing?” you eventually question, eyeing his selection of groceries with confusion. the jug of milk you can understand, but not the jar of what you assume to be jam and a nut butter.
“‘making you toast,” he answers, rummaging through your drawers for a knife, “my sister used to have trouble sleeping sometimes too, and she’d always wake me up instead of our mom so i had to figure out what helped.”
“and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are supposed to help you fall asleep?” you ask, sitting up to rest your head on your hand as you watch him pull a plate from your cupboard.
the bread he dropped into your toaster pops back up as he corrects you, “almond butter. my sister hates peanut butter, and rightfully so. almonds are better.” he continues talking as he places the toasted bread on the plate he grabbed, “i had to google what kind of foods you should eat when you can’t sleep and it’s the first suggestion i saw. the almonds have something in them that gets converted to melatonin using the carbs from the bread and jam, or something like that.”
you nod along like you really care about whatever science he’s rambling about when really, all you can pay attention to is how nice his voice is. ever since he entered your apartment, you’ve realized how much he was all you needed to sleep. you’re slowly getting more attached to him and the longer you date him, the more sure you are that you love him, too.
he slips into the seat next to you, sliding the plate of toast over to you. you mumble a small thanks, biting into the sandwich before opting to lean against him, your head resting on his shoulder while the rest of your body is wrapped in the heavy blanket you brought from your couch.
you hum in satisfaction, deciding that maybe rintarou was right about whatever science is behind the contents of this sandwich, or maybe he just needs to research the effect he has on you. you’re sure just being in his presence is sending melatonin straight to your brain–or however he said that works. “rin,” you hum, eyes closed as you remain leaning against him.
“what is it, sweetheart?” he asks. one of his arms has moved to wrap around your back, holding you close while one of his fingers grazes the skin of your arm, drawing lazy circles onto it.
“will you stay the night, too?” you ask, taking another bite of the sandwich.
he can’t help but smile, watching you snuggle up against him, scooting your chair and plate closer to him, closing the gap between you two. “of course, love, if that’s what you want,” he whispers, pressing a kiss into your hair.
you nod in response to the statement, holding up your sandwich to his mouth for him to take a bite of. “you're good at making sandwiches, but i think all i need is you to fall asleep,” you mumble tiredly and he chuckles.
“if you fall asleep here, i’ll have to carry you to your bed, you know,” he warns, but you're already drifting in and out of sleep, the plate on the table in front of you both now empty, besides a few crumbs of bread.
“that’s okay,” you try to say, fighting a losing battle against the sleep that's slowly overtaking you. “you can do it,” your last words of encouragement make his heart twist before your head lolls slightly, and he knows you’ve knocked out.
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taglist: @akaakeis @wyrcan @daisy-room @eggyrocks @cheriisae @alexithemiyatic @kameyyy @iiwaijime @chaotic-neutral-ig @bakery-anon @kakeru-eem
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k0yaz · 6 months ago
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that was all that mattered.
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Pairings: furina x fem!reader
CW: sfw, female reader, angst—but comfort yay :3, hanahaki disease, graphic descriptions of coughing up blood, GIRLS LOVING GIRLS OH MY GOD???? Not proofread.
A/N: FURINA MY POOKIE WOOKIE CUPCAKE RECIPE WITH RAINBOW SPRINKES ON TOP WHY HAVE I NEVER WRITTEN FOR HER I LOVE FURINA SO MUCH AHAHSHSHDGGDGHSHSHSKWOEI đŸ•Żïž
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She never wanted to see that sight again.
Furina paced back and forth, the quiet snaps of her shoes with each step she took being the only sound echoing through the empty corridor. She only moved in circles before the large door separating her from your room in which you were recovering, her thoughts clouded with unrest and anxiety regarding your current condition. Closing her eyes, Furina’s back pressed against the wall, slumping down slightly with a shaky sigh as her head tilted back to try and regain some sense of clarity.
It was horrifying. The grotesque sight of bloodstained flower petals cornering your lip whenever a series guttural screams were heard from your room was absolutely mortifying to lay eyes upon, the silk white sheets splattered an oozing crimson. Vision all blurred, your upper body would rock from side to side even while sitting down to keep your balance, your hand cupped below your chin to prevent the blood from spilling any further—yet your efforts were futile once you collapsed back onto the mattress in exhaustion.
The sight of you lying there, blood pooled below your outstretched, frail body wrenched Furina’s chest with sorrow. All she could do was sit there in silence, unable to do anything while you suffered. It tormented her day and night, images of your aching frame clasping a hand over your mouth and being racked by fervent coughs. All she would hear was a string of violent coughing fits, and you trying to desperately stop, often by holding your own breath. However, it would be in vain as they rasped through your throat and spattered stains of blood onto the blanket pulled over your lap.
Yet the worst thing of all, was the revelation that the source of your excruciating suffering was Furina herself. She couldn’t help but bite back a sob once she strolled past your door, overhearing you muttering about how you felt about her to Neuvillette, voice pained as you choked out how she wouldn’t feel the same way. Upon hearing that conversation, Furina only froze in place for a couple moments, before lowering her hat to shield her glassy eyes, and getting herself far away from your room. The moment she was alone, the former hydro archon wept quietly to herself at the revelation, believing she was the one who put you through this hellish pain.
However, she decided to atone on one fateful day, when the sunlight poured in through the parted curtains through the window, and livened the sickly hue of your skin. Your eyelids remained shut, yet you still stirred from the light intruding your eyes, feeling like they were burning into your skull. Awoken by a faint knock, you sat up expectantly as your bleary vision shifted to the woman before you. You attempted to swipe your thumb across the corners of your lips, frantically trying to scratch off the dried blood soiling your face as soon as you recognized Furina.
The second she confessed, every fuzzy sense of yours suddenly shone with a sense of clarity, the world seemingly stopping its rotation for the two of you in that moment. The flowering plant embedded in your lungs felt as if it paused its growth as your brain registered the words “I love you” out loud. All of a sudden, your shoulders lowered themselves in relaxation, chest suddenly feeling lighter as you were able to sit upright to embrace Furina in your arms. You weren’t even close to completely healed, yet the simple contentment of your love being requited ceased the searing pain eating away at your body.
“Lady Furina, you can come in now.”
Furina simply nodded, pushing her way into your room slowly as to not disturb your rest. She breathed out a relieved sigh, seeing your head laid onto the soft pillows as the freshly washed blankets enveloped your body. This time when she came to see you, the sight was much more pleasant to gaze upon compared to last time, the blankets remained an untouched clean white rather than painted red. A few raspy coughs still snuck their way through occasionally, yet it was part of the recovery process as the flowering plant began to decay.
“(Name)?” Furina called out, clearing her throat. “How are you feeling? Any better?”
Your eyes lit up upon seeing Furina approach you, halting at the foot of the bed as to not startle you too much.
“Furina! You’re here!” You exclaimed, clearing your own throat as well to answer her question. “And yeah, I’m feeling a lot more light. I still occasionally have some coughs here and there, but no more blood or flower petals.”
She exhaled softly, bringing her white gloved hand to her forehead. “Thank god
” she breathed out reluctantly. You could practically sense the built up worry in her tone, the sight of you nearing death in such a brutal way had still left a scar in her mind.
“I just..I can’t help but wonder- what if I never said it? What if I was too late?” She choked out, tears brimming the corner of her eyes. She shrank in slightly, folding her arms as her hands rubbed over her elbows periodically. You couldn’t bear the sight of her like this. It wasn’t her fault, and she needed to know that. So as a good girlfriend, you extended your arms, gesturing Furina to come lay on you.
Without hesitation, she collapsed onto your chest. The poor woman was probably in just as much pain emotionally as you were physically from the awful thought of the worst possible outcome of you dying. A mellow sigh left your tinted lips as your fingers weaved through Furina’s hair comfortingly, causing her to only lean further into your touch in response.
“Furi. I’m fine now
there’s no need to worry, okay? I’ll only get better from here on out..”
A weak sniffle left her as she just nodded, hands grasping onto the fabric of your shirt.
“I know. It’s just- that sight hurt so bad to see- and knowing I was the reason for-!”
“You weren’t the reason. You didn’t know.” You interrupted, bringing a hand up to rest on her tear stained cheek. “And besides, since you did confess
now I’m recovering. I’m doing a lot better now in fact..”
Reaching over, you picked up a glass of water between your slippery fingertips, bringing it to your lips with wobbly hands as you gulped the water carefully. Your uncoordinated movements concerned Furina, yet your reassuring expression made her push that thought back. You were healing. That was all that mattered. There was a slight pause in your movements before you let out an exasperated sigh at the empty water pitcher. It wasn’t a big deal, yet it did get annoying to constantly ask for refills when you’re constantly downing glasses of water to soothe your parched throat.
Furina sat up, responding with a contented sigh as she walked over to the bedside table. “I’ll go refill it for you now that I’m here anyway.” She replied, her voice seemingly more relaxed now. You gave a soft hum in response, pulling the cloud like blankets over yourself to remedy the sudden shivers and cold feeling washing over your body. Suddenly, Furina’s heterochromic eyes lit up as if a lightbulb had just popped over her head.
“Oh! Right..I forgot something.” She exclaimed, tilting her chin down as she fumbled through her shirt pocket while you looked in confusion. She has a shirt pocket-?
You blinked in surprise as you were met face to face with a fresh bright blue lakelight lily. Furina bent over slightly into a bow as she presented you with the flower, peeking at you with one eye open as if to see your reaction. A warm, fluffy feeling spread through your body as you graciously accepted the flower from her faintly shaky hand, not being able to help the small giggle that left you at her gentlemanly behavior.
Without another moment of doubt, you set the flower down on the bedside table and cupped Furina’s face, palms caressing her cheeks as you pulled her in nose to nose against you. Both of your eyes closed as you basked in the comfort of Furina’s touch and affection, accepting her love gratefully.
“I love you, Furina.”
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A/N: fun fact, my take on hanahaki disease is where it only happens if they believe that their love is unrequited, but the other person actually has feelings for them. This not only makes it seem less forced, but also multiples the angst TENFOLD if the afflicted person ends up dying and the other person has to live with the guilt of not confessing :3
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animehideout · 10 months ago
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LOVE IS THE MOST TWISTED CURSE OF THEM ALL
GOJO SATORU X FEM! READER
PART 12
check out final part here
a/n: Hiiii I'm back with another chapter, only one chapter left till we reach the end if this story. I apologize for the late update, my schedule kinda changed and it got busier so that's why I wasn't able to write and post, but good news that I'm back now yay ✚❀.
Anyways I hope you enjoy this part as well. Some Angst, so grab some tissues and a snack of course to munch on while reading 😀.
Enjoy your reading session, love y'all so much đŸ«¶đŸ»
Not Proofread ❌ Slight smut at the end.
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You took another glance around the room, but didn't dare to ask any of your students about him. You sighed in disappointment but forced a smile to not worry your students and look suspicious or sad. You hated to admit it even within you, but you wished he was there, holding your hand till you awake. But you woke up surrounded only by your students, it's not like you don't appreciate them or they're not enough, you just wanted another kind of feeling, and that feeling could only be with your husband, Satoru. Once again you felt neglected by him even in this terrible condition.
Megumi was too focused on you, he knew right away by the way your gaze was shifting in every corner, every face in the room that you were looking for Gojo, he knew you needed him.
"Ehm, I'll go get Gojo since you're awake now" he said in a reassuring tone without meeting your gaze, and left the room to look for him.
"Where the hell did he go" he mumbled to himself.
"Hm Megumi? Is Y/n awake?" asked Nanami
"Oh yeah she's awake, and she's fine! By the way, did you, perhaps see Gojo around?"
"He's not here"
"Then where?"
"He'll be here later, don't worry about him"
"Nanami Sensei! I. Need. You. To. Tell. Me. please! It's important " he insisted,
With a tired sigh, he spoke,
"Alright! he's at one of the interrogation rooms at Jujutsu High, probably interrogating Mei Mei-"
"or my father"
and without further words, Megumi headed to Jujutsu High to bring Gojo to the hospital, to bring him to your side.
"Hey Megumi wait" yelled Nanami but je was already gone.
*1st Interrogation Room*
"Happy now? Where's that usual dirty smirk at? Gone?" started Gojo as he looked down at Mei Mei who got both her hands chained to the chair.
"How dare you chain me up? A well respected Jujutsu sorcerer!" she exclaimed angrily.
"Oh no no trust me, after releasing Toji from prison, paying him to kill my wife and putting the Jujutsu community in terrible danger, officially you're no longer respected" he spat and started to walk away
"NO NO PLEASE WAIT! GOJO WAIT I BEG YOU! I did this for you!" she started crying,
"I did this for you Gojo, just for your sake. You know about the prophecy, I couldn't let her exceed you and become stronger than you, you're the strongest Gojo and it should remain that way–please, I wanted to protect you–" she pleaded desperately, tears streaming down her cheeks, each sob echoed in the vast empty room.
With a mocking chuckle, he approached her again and bent down till he met her eye level, tilting his head to the side, his blue eyes piercing through her soul,
"oh yeah?" he started
"Y-es, yes just for you Gojo" she said with a soft smile while sniffing.
"Hah, pathetic how hard you're still trying, how hard you're still trying to manipulate me and get me to believe your lies–lemme give you the real fact behind all of this, the fact is that you desperately wanted Y/n to die. You knew Y/n will become something, more powerful than any of us, and of course your jealousy, ego and hate were triggered because another woman effortlessly stole the show and your desperate ass always wants to be in the spot light, taking all the attention, you've always wanted to br known as the strongest woman sorcerer, the perfect match for me, the strongest man! But all of that collapsed when I married Y/n" he paused and pointed his index finger at her,
"You desperately wanted to be her, you envied her even at her lowest, you're obsessed with her to the point that you betrayed the jujutsu world. But lemme tell you something, Mei Mei, Y/n didn't only steal the spot light, she also stole my heart! I love my wife, I love Y/n so much and if you dare to think of any possible plan that could possibly get you out of prison to hurt my wife again, then I'll end you–" he said calmly in a serious and low tone, moving away from her to open the door and leave.
"–end me? just like you ended Geto?"
she wanted to trigger him, to hit his weakest spot, to make his heart ache like hers and to see him all vulnerable, but he swallowed it, even though the name Geto was killing him and slicing him to pieces for years. His hand clutched the door handle tightly, turning his head, side eyeing her,
"Yes I'll end you just like I ended Geto"
Then he shut the door, leaving her all alone.
Right then, she knew she lost Gojo forever, and her last attempt to convince him by bringing Geto was only another reason for him to hate her even more.
"NO GOJO WAIT, no! don't leave me here! GOJO PLEASE"
She begged and begged, but for nothing he's left already and outside that room her screams are inaudible, no one is able to hear her loud cries, no matter how hard she tries.
..
Gojo reached the other door handle, moving into the next interrogation room,
"Gojo Satoru, we meet again" said Toji with a smirk, his hair falling on his face, his lip bleeding,
"Toji Zenin"
"I go by Fushiguro now"
"And I don't give a fuck, you're a criminal either way"
"Oww, too salty Satoru"
"I don't have time for this kind of chit chat, what was your plan to do to my wife?"
"Kill her obviously, duh!" said Toji rolling his eyes
"You son of a bitch, and you're proud of that, I'm not allowed to kill you, that was the higher ups call so be thankful for that, or else I would have put you through the most terrible death you could possibly think of"
"Are you threatening me? besides it wasn't my plan, it was your side chick's plan"
"The fuck did you say?" said Gojo angrily, taking quick steps to Toji punching him once again, making his nose bleed.
Toji started laughing hysterically,
"Alright you win, you win for the second time Gojo Satoru, but I don't think you won her heart, pity all this effort to save her is for nothing"
"Shut up"
"What? You think now you'll live happy ever after? That you'll start over and become a happy couple? Nah you're egocentric, selfish and fucking arrogant, and you've never known love and never will, I've spent three days with her and I can tell she can't live with someone like you. Both of you are far away from each other, two extremes, too empathetic and too apathetic. She'll leave your ass"
"I SAID SHUT UP" yelled Gojo, once again punching him,
"G-gojo?" said Megumi as he opened the door and witnessed it.
"Megumi?" said Gojo and Toji at the same time,
Megumi looked at Toji with what appeared empty eyes, but in the inside his heart was breaking into pieces.. He shifted his gaze to Gojo,
"Gumi what are you doing here?" asked Satoru
"Came to see you Gojo, you have to go to the hospital Y/n is awake and she was looking for you!!"
"D-did she tell you to l-look for me?" he asked hia heart skipping a beat,
"Nah I just figured out, you better go now"
"Wait aren't you coming with me?"
"No, I have to talk to him"
"Megumi! You know you don't have to stay here, you don't have to talk to him, he'll soon get the punishment he deserves–"
"I know, but he's my father and I need to ask him why!"
"Then I'll stay with you, it's not safe!" he reached to grab Megumi's arm,
"Gojo, please! just go to your wife, she's waiting, don't make her wait any longer! I promise I'll be fine" said Megumi with a smile,
As soon as Gojo left the room, Megumi approached his father standing right in front of him,
"S-son!"
"Why? Why did you do that?" said Megumi in a cold tone,
"Son please!"
"You've almost killed one of my close friends! Y/n is not just a teacher to me, she's my friend as well! and now I can't even look her in the eye, you know why?" he paused, trying to swallow back the lump that formed in his throat making him struggle to talk,
"Because of you! because of the shame I'm feeling whenever I see her or remember that MY FATHER WANTED TO KILL HER JUST TO GET SOME DIRTY MONEY FROM MEI MEI"
"Megumi! you need to listen to me! I had to do that!"
"No, there's no excuse that can get you away for murdering innocent people, first Riko and now attempted to do the same to Y/n just because Mei Mei told you?"
"I did all of this for you, to buy a house, a house that we can all call home! Where we can be a family again, me and you!"
"A family?" said Megumi in a mocking way,
"Yes, we can try again, I can fix everything, and make up for the years that I wasn't by your side–"
"You know what dad!"
"Yes son tell me!"
"I'm glad you left when I was young, I'm glad Gojo raised me and not you, or else I might end up a criminal like you. If my mom was alive she'd be the most disappointed in you, SHE WONT EVEN RECOGNIZE YOU DAD!"
"Megumi don't say please!" said Toji, tears forming in his eyes,
Megumi's words destroyed him because he knows they were true, his wife would be disappointed in him if she was alive.
"You ruined my life dad! Enough of it, stop trying to ruin others' lives just for money, just because you were neglected by the Zenin clan! Don't make others pay for what your clan did to you..." he added, taking steps backwards to leave the room,
"Son wait please! I'm so sorry I caused you all this pain, I'm sorry I wasn't there–"
"Just forget you ever had a son, just like what you did with your humanity....goodbye -dad"
with that he closed the door forever, not only the room's door but the door in his heart that he kept open for his father, wishing that some day, he would repent and fix his mistakes even though he knew deep down they can't be fixed. And now he's finally ready to let go, he can never forgive him for all this mess, for all these mistakes that he willingly committed.
Unable to keep it inside, unable to hide his true, delicate, sensitive self, after maintaining the cold, strong image for too long as a coping mechanism for always feeling inferior than others for being parentless. He finally let out the child thay was kept locked inside, and finally broke down into tears. With each loud sob, his chest rose and heaved with sadness. He cried because of the shame he felt, and because of the fact he's now letting go of his father, once and for all. He cried alone, hugging his knees like a baby, till it became hard to breathe.
..
But was he alone really?
"MEGUMI!!!!"
That voice, the voice that used to annoy him for telling jokes non stop, for laughing really loud and not letting him sleep, that voice now is saving him.
He looked up, his eyes puffy and red with tears.
Yuji and Nobara running towards him, worried expressions drawn on their faces, their eyes wide since it was the first time they see their friend shed a tear. They finally reached him, joining him on the floor.
"Megumi??! what's wrong buddy what happened?" asked Yuji his eyes softening,
"Fushiguro? Is everything okay? Why are you crying did someone hurt you?" asked Nobara her voice shaking with fear and worry.
He just started at them, not saying anything single word. Looking ay their genuine worried and confused faces, a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips, realizing that his friends got his back, that they won't let him down and most importantly he realized that he doesn't have to feel alone anymore. They truly loved him and cared for him. He was too broken to realize that, he thought his dad abandon him because he hated him, so he grew up with that mindset; his father hates him let alone people out there. But now, finally realizing that love, friendship saved him, from himself, from his dark thoughts and now he can start anew.
Nobara waved her hand on front of his face,
"Hey Fushiguro??"
Without saying anything he hugged both of them, finally feeling the love he's been rejecting. Allowing himself to feel it for the first time and damn it felt good to have someone care for you, it made his heart at ease.
He hugged them really tight, refusing to let go, without hesitation they hugged him back in a comforting way, their warmth radiating.
"Awww Fushiguro-Kun is being soft" chuckled Nobara
"Shuh Nobara, we love this version of Megumi, geez didn't know you're a good hugger Fushiguro" said Yuji smiling,
"Aaaaa why'd you ruin the moment guys" groaned Megumi
"Nah nah we're sorry, we're just wondering where's the real Megumi and what did you do to him" she added,
"Nah it's the real Megumi here, you just unlocked a premium version. Get used to it" said Megumi pulling away from the hug a smile still decorating his face.
"Well for sure we'll get used to it" said Yuji and Nobara at the same time.
"Wait!! did you leave Y/n alone at the hospital, till Gojo arrives?" said Megumi in a moment of realization.
"Nah nah she's home now, we brought her at the dorms" explained Yuji
"Oh shit"
"What?"
"Gojo went to the hospital to see Y/n, so he won't find her there"
"Come on, he's a married man, his wife would tell him" said Nobara smirking
"Wasn't she supposed to spend the day there, till Shoko makes sure she's fine?" he asked again,
"Yeah but after you left the room to get Gojo she insisted to leave as well, she said she was feeling okay and doesn't need to stay there" exclaimed Nobara.
*At The Hospital*
Gojo pushed open the door of the room that you were in. A mix of anticipation and stress took over him, not knowing how he would behave in front of you, is he gonna hold your hand, kiss you? What was he going to say? Baby? My love? I missed you? All these thoughts disappeared when he found the room empty, devoid of your presence. Confusion clouded his features as he stepped inside, his eyes scanning the surroundings, trying to find any of your belongings, but there was absolutely nothing. Anxiety took over him, his heart racing inside his chest. He got really scared, thinking that someone abducted you, still terrified from the last incident that happened to you. With shaky hands he reached his phone to call one of his students, but before he can do he received a message from Nanami informing him that they moved you out of the hospital and took you to the dorms to rest there.
He let out a deep breath he didn't know he was holding, calming down slowly.
With a heavy sigh, he sank onto the edge of the bed, blaming himself for not being there when you woke up.
*Flashback*
You laid unconscious on the hospital bed after being treated by Shoko. No one was there except Gojo. He held your hand tightly, staring at your soft features as you were in your pretty slumber.
"I'm here Y/n, my beautiful wife, my princess" he whispered to you as you slept.
"I'm sorry, please wake up..wake up so I can tell you how much I love you, how bad I want to make you mine, how I want to fix things and start anew with you as a true husband, a husband that will love you, care for you and protect you, I won't let anyone hurt you.." he paused, remembering the state he found you in, on the floor, bloody nose, shirt almost torn off, his body tensed up.
"I'll punish them for what they had done to you" he added and left the room heading to the interrogation rooms at Jujutsu High.
*End of flash back*
*Time skip, night time*
Your students and Nanami already brought you everything you might need; food, water, some snacks and some manga books that Yuji gave to you to pass time.
You laid your back on the bed frame, grabbed a bag of chips, a manga book and started reading enjoying your own company, trying your best to distract yourself from thinking about Satoru.
Engrossed in the pages of your book and in your own world, the soft rustle of the door opening brought you back to reality. You already knew who it was, it was your husband Satoru. Even though, you were distant from each other, you got used to his footsteps. He closed the door behind and greeted you gently,
"Hii Y/n"
However, you remained absorbed in your reading, refusing to look up at him or even greet him back. He thought you were too focused on the book and didn't notice him arriving so he cleared his throat, attempting to get your attention this time and said,
"A-are you feeling better now? How's your leg?"
But again you remained silent, as if he wasn't in the room, as if his voice was inaudible to you. He received the message and realized that you don't wanna talk to him, and he respected your decision, he chose to not push too far especially that you're still traumatized from what happened to you.
With a resigned sigh, he took some clean clothes from the dresser, and made his way to the bathroom to take a shower that might wash the tiredness away. The sound of the running warm water that fell on his body mingled with the quiet of the room, a gentle reminder of the distance between you and him.
You put the book on your nightstand, and shut your eyes, you tried to go to sleep before he joins you again, you've already took your decision, you'll ignore him, you'll distance yourself even more, you won't let him pity you and help you because he feels sorry for what had happened to you. You refused to be the victim, you won't allow anyone to feel bad for you.
...
Opening the door again, he found you fast asleep, hugging your pillow for comfort. He smiled to himself as he saw your sleeping face.
He missed being in your presence, even if you were only sleeping. He dried his hair and then gently approached the bed, already dressed in his pajamas. The mattress sank as he joined you, getting under the covers. He used his elbow to keep himself up a bit while he watched you sleep. Your pouty lips that he craves to kiss, your soft skin that he wants to caress, your chest that rose and fell with each breath. It was the small details that made him fall for you, that made you so special. He was watching and watching till your comfy sight lulled him to sleep, and now he joined you, his head next to yours, his arms fell on your waist as he spooned you. Finally both of you not only sleeping under the same roof again all safe and sound, but being this close to each other.
.....
You woke up in the morning to him all over you, his arm laid comfortably on top of you. You rubbed your eyes, thinking it was a dream but it was reality. As much as it made the butterflies in your stomach go crazy, it made you feel sad as well. And the small smile that instinctively formed on your lips, disappeared.
"Maybe he just rolled over" you said to yourself, still convinced that whatever he was doing was everything and anything but love.
You pushed his hand away, getting ready to get breakfast with the rest of teachers and students as well. You missed those mornings, with Nobara talking nonstop, Panda eating everything on the table and Nanami annoyed whenever principal Yaga announced a new mission. You felt like family, you felt included but it's always something missing, the true love, the love of your husband.
It is indeed hard to live a one sided love story, realizing your feelings towards Gojo were more of a problem than a realization, maybe it could have been a lot easier if they remained undiscovered, because starting from today you'll live with the fact that your husband that you fell head over heels with doesn't reciprocate your feelings, at least that's what your mind told you.
The mind works in mysterious ways, sometimes when you're used to some kind of feeling, it becomes like a drug, so when you experience another feeling you always find a way to include that specific feeling again. And that's the case for you, you've been feeling lonely and unloved your whole life, and you thought you'd be feeling that way for the rest of your life not even giving yourself a chance to ask if he feels the same.
...
You walked towards the table, the food was ready, the scent of coffee was intoxicating. Your students already there, excited for food like every single morning.
"OH Y/N - SENSEI GOOD MORNING" said Yuji excitedly,
"Good morning Sensei" said the other students in union with a big smile.
You nodded smiling at their morning energy that was circulating in the air,
"Good morning everyone"
Nanami and Shoko joined, followed by Principal Yaga and then Gojo who came running and out of breath looking for you, but then letting a deep sigh once he saw you sitting around the table safe and happy. It became his new freshly unlocked fear; you not being by his side.
"Oh you're here" he mumbled,
"Huh Gojo what's up with that face? did you see a ghost?" said Principal Yaga
"I'm fine" he shrugged and then joined you, sitting on the chair that was right next to you.
He gazed at you, clearing his throat,
"You woke up early today, I thought about bringing you food to bed so you don't have to tire yourself" he started almost whispering.
You shoved the spoon full of rice in your mouth, not bothering to look at him. The others exchanged gazes but started eating shortly, not wanting to get into your business. Gojo started eating as well thinking about ways to approach you or find a key to start even a small conversation and get you to talk to him.
"So Y/n are you feeling better?" asked Nanami
"Yeah much better actually, thank you Nanami!" you smiled,
And Gojo felt his heart crash, as if he received a stab right in the chest. He wished it was him you were smiling at.
"Yuji can you pass me the salt please?" you said gently,
but before Yuji could reach it, Gojo already snatched it from in front of him and gave it to you,
"Here!" he said with a silly smile,
You poked the inside of your cheek and took the salt from him not even looking at him.
"Um Y/n–" started Satoru but you cut him off by starting a conversation with Yaga sensei.
"By the way Sensei, I feel like I'm ready to start teaching again–"
"WHAT NO!" yelled Satoru
You raised your eyebrow,
"You need to rest Y/n, you've been through a lot" he added worriedly.
But you ignored his concern and his comment and shifted your gaze to Principal Yaga again,
"My students must be missing my classes"
"But y/n Gojo is right! You need to rest! it's been only one day" exclaimed Principal Yaga
"I'm feeling okay!" you said smiling.
"Alright then, do as you please but don't tire yourself, okay?" said Yaga sensei with a smile
You nodded smiling.
"Y/n please, you've been through a traumatic experience, this phase is the hardest even if you're not realizing it" said Gojo with worried eyes.
But you ignored him again, getting up from the table, wiping your mouth with a napkin heading to your room to get ready for a day full of teaching.
......
It was a long day full of laugher with your students, they did everything they could to make sure you were comfortable and happy. Especially Yuji he acted extra silly to get you to laugh uncontrollably. They wanted to help you forget about the terrifying experience as soon as possible.
You were in the balcony at night, enjoying the night sky, getting back to your favorite night activity, watching the stars. It always put a smile on your face. It reminded you of how vast our universe is and how small our problems seem in front of it.
"sensei?"
You looked back,
"hm Megumi? are you okay?"
"Yeah! is it okay if w-we talk a bit?"
"Sure Gumi, tell me!" you replied with a soft grin, now giving him your full attention, anticipating his words
"I–I w-wanted to apologize!" he said looking down at his feet unable to meet your gaze
"Hm? for what?"
"I - I'm sorry sensei, I'm ashamed of what my father did to you, he doesn't represent me, I'm not like him and I completely oppose it, always been I–" he said nervously fidgeting with his fingers.
"Megumi" you started, placing your hands on his shoulders,
"I know who you are! I know how kind, caring and loving you are! You don't need to apologize, you don't need to explain anything. It's not your fault that your dad chose the wrong path, so don't ever blame yourself! Stand proud Megumi! You are an amazing student, an amazing person and an amazing friend of mine" you insisted giving him a light squeeze.
"Really?"
"Yes you are! Don't ever doubt yourself! come here" you added and pulled him into a warm hug.
.........
*2 days later*
"Yaga sensei, since Toji is in prison now what about Y/n and I go back to our house?" suggested Gojo.
"Huh? Why the rush you don't like it here?"
"No it's not like that, it's just since our marriage we had to live here so it would be nice to go back to our own house"
"I like it here" you said out of the blue, showing that you refuse to live with him in a vast house alone.
"But y/n, our house is big, you'll feel more comfortable there, our room is waiting for you–"
"Oh Yaga sensei I thought about making a writing test as well not only a practical one" you said cutting Satoru off, as if his words didn't matter.
Starting a new conversation, totally neglecting him. Everyone around the table noticed it but have no right to interfere. Your inside was screaming, wanting to give in and move back to your house again where you can live only you and your husband, enjoy each other's company and privacy but it was complicated, life is not a movie scene and you can't wipe away the bad memories easily.
*Time skip*
You were in the balcony, waiting for the sunset. You've been lying to yourself, thinking that teaching again and distracting yourself with some jokes would make you forget about the hell Toji and Mei Mei put you through. You were already suffering from anxiety and this incident made it worse. You were getting a good night sleep just because you were using the pills that Shoko gave to you or else you'll wake up screaming from your night terrors, from the trauma you had lived. You started getting random panic attacks whenever you were alone, your hands would get all sweaty and start shaking, cold sweat dripping from your forehead and you felt like being choked.
Maybe it would have been easier if you told them what you truly felt and not pretending to be okay. Maybe it would have been a lot easier if you confessed your true feelings to Satoru even if he rejects you.
A tear rolled down your cheek, knowing that it got worse and that Gojo did a mistake by saving you. Maybe the world would be a better place without you. You felt useless and a heavier burden now, going back to teaching to prove yourself useful in something, only to find your students pitying you and trying to help you instead of you helping them. With a deep breath, lost in your thoughts, you came to a conclusion, that leaving is the best option. It's been weeks and your curse didn't break, and you've already lost faith that it would break, and you can't live on false hope that one day you'll become a sorcerer and make your family proud. You feel like your husband that was forced to marry you, is now forced to take care of you and treat you differently because you were the unlucky one to get kidnapped by one the most dangerous murderers. Your family won't accept you or treat you fairly as long as you remain a monkey with no curse energy.
"It's all related" you chuckled to yourself,
You checked your phone, and credit card, already clothed in your jacket to protect you from the cold.
You took a moment to watch the sunset first, it was mesmerizing, the color degradation representing different phases.
"Sunsets are a living proof that endings can be beautiful too" you said to yourself.
You started walking away, leaving Jujutsu High behind, not knowing where your legs would take you but at least you know you'll be safe, Mei Mei and Toji are in prison now. You just wanted to get far away from everyone, you knew you didn't fit anywhere, you don't belong anywhere. So maybe you'll start as a normal simple human, with a normal simple job. It broke you to run away from them, you considered them a family and you knew you'll carry all those beautiful memories with you whenever you go, but what broke you the most, is leaving Gojo without a proper goodbye, but for your self-respect you chose not to give him another reason to feel sorry for you.
*Time skip*
"SENSEI! SENSEI HAVE YOU SEEN Y/N?" asked Gojo as he rushed downstairs after asking literally everyone and they said no.
"No!"
Panic coursed through his veins,
"Sensei what if someone abducted her again?"
"Relax Gojo, she's not a kid I'm sure she's safe, Toji is imprisoned so is Mei Mei, I'm sure she just went for a night stroll"
Gojo looked at him in disbelief, and left Jujutsu High and start searching for you, maybe he's being paranoid now and scared by the slightest thing but he can't afford to lose you, not again.
...
He searched everywhere, anywhere possible, he even went to Mei Mei's house to make sure you weren't there even though he knows damn well that both of them are paying for their mistakes. He check every corner, every street, every alley but you're nowhere to be found.
He started sweating, his heart hammering against his ribcage, feeling the sky narrowing around him and suffocating him.
"Where are you y/n, please!" he said to himself.
He paused when a thought crossed his mind, he knows you're a space enthusiast. You enjoy watching the clear night sky and chase the stars, but to do so you need an excluded area, away from Tokyo lights. A hill 2 hours away from Jujutsu High, but it's Satoru, he doesn't need 2 hours to reach that hill in a matter of seconds he found himself there.
It was dark, but he could see a figure standing, head's up to the sky. The city light bellow on full display. He knew right away that it was you. He wanted to announce his presence to not scare you, so with a soft voice he spoke,
"y/n?"
Yoh turned around, looking at him in disbelief. Without saying anything you started to walk away but he rushed towards you and grabbed your arm,
"Wait y/n please talk to me!"
"Satoru leave me alone"
"No! no I'm not leaving you alone, not this time! Why are you ignoring me? Why are you being being so cold towards me? I understand it was my fault and I'm so fucking sorry about it but please talk to me–"
"Satoru! For god's sake, let me go, let me live, let me try a new start away from all of this"
"Why? you can start anew here? with us! with me!"
"No you don't understand! I don't belong to your world, I don't belong here! I'm sick of it" you explained a tear fell down,
"You belong with me y/n, please let me help you"
"I don't fucking need your help, I don't need anyone's fucking help, I'm tired of being the one in need, I'm tired of being the one who needs to be saved. Because no one of you will, and because it's so fucking degrading, I'm sick of myself, sick of not being able to protect myself-"
"Y/n you're not realizing your potential, please don't rush things!"
"Don't rush things? It's been weeks Satoru and nothing worked, I can't let you go through this, you deserve to be with someone like you, you deserve to be with someone strong, a sorcerer not a talentless human. It's over okay!! I was ready to send you the divorce papers so you don't need worry about anything, I'm no longer a burden, and you won't take my responsibility, I know you're sick of me and of all this prophecy shit" you paused,
looking straight into his blue eyes, if you could trade the night sky for his eyes then you would, you would choose to look deep into those blue canvas. You wanted to take into his face, to stare longer memorizing his features so they take a longer time to fade from your memory.
"Rejoice Satoru, you're free!" you said and freed yourself from his grasp, walking away,
His heart beats escalated, watching you walk away. No it can't be, you can't leave him, not when he realized that he couldn't breathe without you, not when he realized he can't sleep without your scent in the room.
"No, you can't leave me"
He grabbed you again, pulling you against him,
"I can Satoru, that's what you fucking wanted so don't act like you don't want it"
"I'm not acting, I don't want you to leave"
"Why? So you can feel less guilty by making it up for me even if you don't want it?"
"NO!"
"Then fucking why?"
"BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE YOU!"
A moment of silence fell over the place, looking into each other's eyes, only your heavy breathing is being heard,
"I love you y/n, I love you so fucking much that I can't take it anymore, I love you that the only thing I can focus on is you, I lOVE YOU THAT I WOULD GIVE UP HEAVEN IF IT MEANS I GET TO BE WITH YOU, BECAUSE YOU'RE MY HEAVEN Y/N, YOU'RE MY BLESSING. I WAS YOUR CURSE AND I HATE MYSELF FOR THAT, BUT LOVE, LOVE MADE ME A FOOL, A FOOL FOR YOU"
You didn't say a word, you were too shocked, words still processing in your mind. You froze, trying to figure out if it was a dream or a reality. But when he crashed his lips on yours, you knew it was real, by the way his soft plump lips felt on yours. His big hands grabbing your waist pulling you towards his body that was screaming, yelling for you, for your touch. You closed your eyes enjoying the sensation, a sensation you dreamt of for many nights, and days. Daydreaming, wondering how his lips would taste.
Instinctively your hands moved around his neck, pulling him closer. Your breath mixing, breathing each other in and out. Kissing each other so passionately as if your lives depend on it as if the world stops rotating, the clock stops ticking, and humans stops breathing. Only you and him in a vast world.
He pulled away, intoxicated by your taste, his eyes full of love and lust at the same time, growing impatient as the seconds passed by, the he spoke with a foggy voice,
"Let's go to our house, our home, tonight I'll make you mine and you'll make me yours.. let me do your duty as your husband, allow me to get a taste of you and get a taste of me"
Your chest rose and fell, feeling the electricity run in your system, turning you on even more.
"mhm" you nodded, you'd follow him everywhere even to your decease.
You were ready to finally give yourself to him, to allow him to do as he pleases to you and you do as you please to him. Finally, a few moments till you become a real husband and wife, a few moments till you taste heaven.
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lonelystczennie · 1 year ago
Text
“Can I?”
Felix x Plus Size Reader
Summary: You and Felix’s friendship takes a surprising turn one night when he decides to show you how beautiful he thinks you are.
Word count: 1.5k
Warnings: 18+ mdni, reader and Lix are a lil tipsy, mentions of body insecurities, Lix is obsessed with readers chest and stomach, groping, nipple play, titty fucking, not proofread
A/N: I don’t even remember when I wrote this exactly, but it’s been in my drafts too long, so here. This is my first attempt at smut, so I’m sorry if it’s eh(lmk if I should try a part 2?)
Masterlist
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“Alright Lixie, come on, bedtime.” You said, carefully shuffling your friend down the hall to your room.
The two of you had been out to dinner with some friends, Felix having a few more drinks than usual and quickly gaining a rosy tint to his face, asking you if he could stay at your place rather than risk going home on his own, which you’d agreed to without a second thought.
It was something that had become more than a regular occurrence for the both of you over the course of your friendship, crashing at each other places when you were too tired or otherwise inhibited.
Once in your room, you released your hold on him, letting him flop down onto the bed with a giggle.
“Your bed’s always so comfy.” He said, snuggling down happily into the blankets.
“I’m glad you think so.” You grinned, finding his behavior endearing. Felix always had this bright and happy energy, but when he drank it seemed to go into overdrive, any walls and self-consciousness he held coming down.
“G’night lix.” You whispered, smoothing his hair before turning to leave, planning to sleep on the sofa instead, but he quickly sat back up, grabbing for your hands but missed, catching the hem of your shirt instead.
“Noo, stay with me, please?” He whined, looking up at you with sad eyes.
“Lix, you need to sleep.” You said.
“I’d sleep better with you here.” He pouted, making you bite your lip, trying to hide a grin. It wasn’t like it was the first time you’d shared each other's space like this, Lix was such a naturally affectionate person, it was easy for you to fall into the same behavior, finding immense comfort in his touch. He was so cute when he got like this, clingy, needy. “Please?”
You debated for a second, before relenting. “Fine.”
“Yay!” He beamed before sliding over, making room for you in the slightly too small bed. You may have cuddled together plenty of times before, but you couldn’t help the feelings of self-consciousness that lingered as you settled next to him, folding your arms across your stomach out of habit in an attempt to hide yourself. An action that apparently did not go unnoticed by him.
“Why do you always do that?” He asked, watching you with curious eyes.
“Do what?”
“Hide your stomach.” He pouted.
“Because it’s not nice to look at.” You said plainly, wanting to end the conversation quickly.
“That’s not true!” He exclaimed, sitting up again to look at you. “I like it! It’s so cute and soft, I love how it feels when we hug.”
He reached for your hands, but hesitated, glancing up at you for permission before touching you.
You nodded, curiosity overriding your insecurity.
He gently pulled your hands away before replacing them with his own, gently trailing along your sides and caressing the dips and rises of your tummy.
“See? It’s so soft and warm, it’s so pretty, you’re so pretty.” He said almost to himself, making your heart do a tiny sumersault.
“Can I lay on it?” He asked, looking up at you
Your immediate reflex was to say no, but the way he was looking at you with such adoration and the warmth of his touch made you relent again. “Okay.”
He carefully shifted around until he could rest on his side, looking up at you, letting out a deep sigh as his eyes fell close, nuzzling his cheek against the plushness of your belly.
“Comfy?” You asked, slightly amused by the look of utter contentment on his face.
“Mhm.” He smiled up at you dreamily, making you chuckle. “Are you?”
“Yeah, I am.” You admitted. It felt really nice having him close like this, feeling his breath fan across your abdomen as you fell into a comfortable silence, his hand coming up to gently trace patterns across your ribcage, his fingers trailing dangerously close to the underside of your chest.
“I bet you tits are soft.” He said, more so thinking out loud than trying to initiate anything, but it made your breath hitch either way.
“You wanna find out?” You asked, surprising yourself with how even your voice sounded despite your nerves.
He looked up at you, eyes wide with surprise. “Can I?”
This was a critical moment for your relationship, you were both hyper aware, teetering on the line between friends and something else, one that you’d been toeing for far too long, and that you couldn’t exactly come back from if crossed.
Not breaking eye contact, you nodded.
His hands ghosted up the sides of your breasts slowly, cupping one in each hand gently before kneading them experimentally, making you let out a small sigh, eyes falling shut.
“Does that feel good?” He asked, slightly breathless.
“Mhm, your hands are warm.” You hummed, pressing up into his touch.
“You’re not wearing a bra.” He noted, adjusting himself to better access your chest so that he was laying partially on top of you.
"I don't like wearing them to sleep. They're uncomfy." You sighed.
He continued toying with your breasts for a minute, eliciting the occasional pleased sound from you, when suddenly you let out a small giggle.
“What’s so funny?” He asked, smirking up at you.
“You kinda remind me of a cat, the way they knead things with their paws.” You jumped as he suddenly pinched one of your nipples, making you let out a yelp.
“Mean kitty.” You glared at him as he chuckled.
“I’m sorry, can I kiss it better?” He asked, voice dropping slightly, making your stomach do a little flip.
Biting your lip, you nodded.
He slowly trailed your shirt up, pausing at the top of your ribcage and glancing up at you once more for confirmation before he finally freed your chest.
“Shit.” He breathed, almost unconsciously as his gaze trailed over the expanse of exposed skin, leaning in to place a gentle kiss on breast and then the other, making you squirm slightly beneath him. He was trying to pace himself and move slowly, but quickly lost out to his own desire, growing more intense as he trailed wet, open mouth kisses everywhere across your chest before sucking your nipple into his mouth, making you arch into him involuntarily.
“Lix,” You whined, your own hands having found their way into his hair and earning a low groan from him as you tugged on the blonde strands.
“So fucking pretty,” He purred, lips dragging up your neck before trailing back down to your chest. ”Wanted to tell you so many times how gorgeous I think you are.”
“Why didn’t you?” You managed to ask.
“I have no fucking clue.” He laughed, his breath against you damp skin making you shiver.
You were well aware of the growing bulge in his pants that was pressed against your thigh as he drooled over your chest, making the heat between your legs throb with need.
“Fuck, I wanna-” He caught himself, worried that his request might be go going too far too quickly.
“You wanna fuck them?” You asked, practically able to read his mind.
He looked up at you, mouth hanging open as he breathed unsteadily. “Can I? Please?”
You nodded.
He quickly scrambled to rid himself of his bottoms, nearly falling off the bed in his haste, cock springing free and causing your thighs to clench at the sight.
He carefully positioned himself over you, straddling your waist and staring down as if you were the most divine being he’d ever seen. “Are you sure about this?” He asked.
“I’m sure, Lixie.” You nodded again, pressing your tits together for him before letting a trail of saliva drip down onto them from your mouth.
“Holy shit.” He mumbled as he watched you in disbelief, before letting his length slip between your breasts, letting out a low, shaking groan as your warmth enveloped him.
He started out slow, thrusting experimentally, reveling in the feel of your skin against his, but his pace quickly began to increase as he started to get lost in pleasure, chasing his release.
“Wanna fuck you. Wanted to fuck you for so long.” He panted, gripping the headboard above you for support. You angled your head down, letting your tongue loll down to lick his tip each time it peaked out from between your tits.
“Fuck, Y/n.” He whimpered, his face screwed up in pleasure as he loomed over you. You could swear you’d never seen a more beautiful sight in your entire life.
Felix, falling to pieces, because of you.
“‘M gonna cum.” He warned, strokes getting sloppy.
“Cum for me, Lix, wanna feel it.” You whined, pressing your tits together more, tightening them around him.
“Shit, don’t, fuck, I’m-!” He rambled before cumming with a broken, drawn out moan, pulling back to paint your chest and stomach with streaks of white.
“F-fuck.” He stammered, shaking as he slid sideways off you, watching with hooded eyes as you gathered some of his release on your fingers and brought it to your lips for a taste.
“You’re gonna be the death of me.” He said unsteadily.
“You’re welcome.” You teased, sitting up and cleaning up his mess with your ruined shirt, before he was pressing you back against the mattress.
“Now, it’s your turn.”
357 notes · View notes
httpiastri · 6 months ago
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PERFECTLY FINE – CHAPTER FOUR (MONACO)
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genre: fluff, angst, etc.
warnings: heartbreak as usual
word count: 5.3k (like, exactly 5.3k. on the word. 😭)
author's note: it feels so wrong to say that im posting this to celebrate ollie's graduation to f1 because... this is such a sad chapter.... pain pain pain for everyone involved (especially ollie) 💔 but yay happy ollie f1 announcement day!!! hope you're all doing well & hope you enjoy <3 (also i wrote a lot of this chapter back in february? and proofreading it today nearly brought me to tears bcs of ollie-)
series masterlist
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the career of a racing driver is a roller coaster for everyone involved.
if your name is max verstappen, then you've got more ups than most others. that roller coaster seems pretty fun.
but if your name is y/n harper, then your roller coaster isn't as fun these days. but if there’s ever a place to turn things around, it's monaco.
even just the track walk is enough to bring up your mood after a bad week like last. walking along the monegasque streets, almost getting hit by cars as you sign autographs and take pictures with fans... it's an experience you just can't find anywhere else.
coincidentally enough, ollie is done with the track walk just as you are, which means that the two of you can make your way back to the f2 paddock together. your boyfriend has always loved monaco – he pretty much doesn't ever shut up about the track and it's history unless you tape his mouth shut when you're in the country. that's why it's surprising that he not only brings up another subject, but also that he chooses a quite sensitive one – your father.
"he's going to be here this weekend, right?" ollie asks, stuffing his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. he seemingly doesn't quite understand just how tense things are with your dad yet. to be fair, it isn't really his fault, since you haven't told him and since he isn't a mind-reader. but still, something in your chest tightens at the way ollie brings him up so casually.
you nod. "you know how much he adores monaco," you say with a sigh, before putting on your best impression of your dad. "the most iconic track ever, the only track to ever... blah blah blah."
having your dad along for races was always a given when you were younger. he was your best helmet carrier, your number-one supporter, and the first person you went to when celebrating or complaining.
but somewhere along the years, having him around started to become more problematic and anxiety-inducing. his support turned into criticism, and it became far more common for him to tell you to "go apologize to the engineers and ask them what you should do to perform better tomorrow" rather than give you any constructive feedback of his own.
at first, it was rough; the man who had always been your pillar to lean on, your main source of support, your safe haven, was seemingly gone. you continued to perform well, though you weren't sure if that was because you wanted to make him proud or if you were terrified of making him disappointed.
"let's have dinner with him someday, then," ollie suggests as the two of you come to a stop right outside the prema garage for the weekend. "maybe sunday, if we have things to celebrate?"
"let's hope so."
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pepe calls your name once, twice, thrice, before he resorts to shaking your shoulder gently. his touch, along with the sound of the spaniard's raspy laughter, makes you finally wake from your slumber. you blink up at him, eyes droopy and mind empty. "what?"
"why are you sleeping?" pepe asks, shaking his head. "quali starts in... about an hour."
you begin to slowly push yourself up from the couch you've been lying on, yawning loudly. "i was supposed to just rest my eyes," you start, rubbing your eyes with your hands. "i didn't mean to fall asleep..."
"did you not sleep well last night? were you up late again?" pepe asks as he sits down next to you, watching you stretch your arms over your head with yet another yawn.
what are you supposed to say? yes, i was up until four am because i couldn't find any peace of mind at all? i've been dreading every second of this weekend because i never know when my dad will appear from around the corner? i'm scared he's going to be so mad over my performances that he disowns me?
pepe may know a lot of what's going on with your father, but he doesn't need to know this much.
you did, in fact, meet him earlier today, right before practice – if greeting him briefly and then instantly bolting in the opposite direction counts as a "meeting" – but since then, he's been nowhere to be seen. not even around dino or ollie when you last saw the two of them.
pepe takes your silence as an answer in itself, and he lets out a hum. "well, i'm quite nervous myself," he says frankly, pulling a hand through his hair.
"you did so well here last year, though." you nudge his shoulder with yours. "you'll be great again, i'm sure of it."
"dinner with the prince on sunday? both of us?"
you nod, shooting your friend a smile. "of course." but despite how much you wish it would become a reality, there's not even the slightest trace of faith in you. the only thing you can think about is how likely it is for this round to go in the same footsteps as your recent ones.
a great attitude to bring into a race weekend.
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p9.
a top ten placement, sure. second in the reverse grid, sure. but other than that, there's not much positive in it. it's a step in the right direction, but in some way, it feels like a step that's way too short.
the sprint race starts with an incident right by you on the track, which is extremely unlucky for you since you get pretty much blocked and have nowhere to go. after being passed by several cars, the safety car finally comes out, and you find yourself in p7.
of course your father's words echo in your head all the way through the safety car period. "starting p2 means a free podium," he had told you when he stopped by right before you were getting into your car. "don't mess it up."
you're so focused on that expression on his face, the way he tilted his chin up and his head slightly to the side as he spoke, and the way it felt like your heart stopped beating for a few seconds, that you don't even realize that your engineer has told you about the safety car being about to end. you don't even acknowledge the fact that the race leader has taken off, nor that the rest of the field starts pushing again before it's too late.
some blue car tries to overtake you on the outside, and with another car on your inside you have no chance of giving either of them space – and you manage to crash into them both. not only did you ruin your own race, but also two other drivers'.
and of course, one of the cars buried into the wall next to yours is a silver hitech with a big number 17 on it.
climbing out of your car, you can hear several voices calling out for all three of you from the grandstand nearby, and you consider throwing them a wave as you climb through the metal fence to get off the track. but then, you hear one voice that's more familiar – one that belongs to the last person you want to talk to right now. "are you alright?"
you almost don't look at him, but the little glance you shoot him is enough to take in every single bit of disappointment in his eyes. what are the odds that your dad was sitting in the grandstand right where you crashed?
a nod is enough of an answer you reckon, pulling your helmet off your head and beginning to walk the way towards the paddock again. "do you want me to carry that?" your dad asks, having gotten past the security guards after showing his pass, now jogging to catch up with you.
"i'm not ten anymore," you groan. "i can handle it on my own."
"i wasn't saying you can't-" he cuts himself off, placing a hand on your shoulder. "you looked really out of it out there."
you keep your gaze forwards so he won't see you rolling your eyes at his words, determined steps carrying you forward quickly as you shake his hand off. "oh, you could see through my visor? that's cool."
"what's gotten into you lately?" your dad pushes, and you flinch slightly at the harsh tone in his voice. "what's wrong with you?"
"what do you mean?"
"well, frankly, your driving had been shit recently." your eyes snap to him when he speaks, eyebrows furrowed. "it looks like you're not even trying."
you stay silent for a long while, trying to navigate your way back – and to a place where your dad hopefully won't be allowed – but you can't help but scoff. "thank's a lot."
"what? am i wrong?"
"yes, you're wrong!" you finally stop in your tracks, fully facing him by now. a hand goes up to your hair, pulling on it to relieve at least some tension. "i'm trying my best, i-"
"is there something going wrong with ollie?" your jaw drops. "i'll talk to him, i'll settle it with him."
"don't you dare!" you exclaim. "there's nothing wrong with ollie, okay?!"
"then what is wrong with you? why can't you score ten points in nine races?"
that's it – you're going to completely lose it if this goes on for even one more second. "leave me the fuck alone," you tell him, turning your head away so he won't get a chance to see the tears beginning to form in your eyes.
the worst part of it all? the fact that you agree with him. the fact that you can't even argue against it; nine points in five rounds is not a good result at all.
surprisingly enough, he doesn't follow you when you hurry away, allowing you to get to the paddock alone. the silence doesn't mean you can hold back from crying, however; it doesn't take long before your cheeks are stained with your tears, your breaths growing quicker and quicker for every step you take. navigating the paddock with blurry vision is hard, and you're basically just relying on muscle memory to take you back to the right part of the garage. just as you're rounding a corner, you bump into someone – someone whose white suit and broad, muscular shoulders are easy to recognize even through your tears.
the other last person you want to talk to right now.
"hey there," he says, a hand coming up to your shoulder to keep you steady as you stumble a little upon the impact with his chest. "are you- woah, are you crying?"
"leave me alone, paul."
he lets out a little chuckle, one he regrets in hindsight because it makes him sound like he thinks the state you're in is funny. "i can't just walk away when you're this upset, can i?" he asks, having to use all of his willpower to hold back from wiping away a few tears from your cheeks. "is it about the crash? i'm not mad at you, and i don't think victor is either-"
"i couldn't care less about the stupid crash!" you explode, a few sobs following your words. "i'm just- i can't-"
paul's eyes widen in surprise at your outburst, hand on your shoulder slipping further along so he's got his arm draped across your shoulders and it's easier for him to force you to walk with him. now it's your turn to have to hold back, wanting nothing more than to lean into his chest and just let out all of your tears. he pushes you with him into the hitech truck, looking around the lounge area to make sure no one's there before guiding you to sit on one of the sofas there. "what's going on? did something happen?"
"i'm a bad driver, that's what happened." paul slumps into the seat right next to you, eyebrows raised when he hears you speak. "i don't belong here, i don't know what i'm doing, i-"
"hey hey hey," he cuts you off with a shake of his head. "what have we said about this?"
you look down at the floor, wiping away a few tears from your cheek as you continue to sniffle in the silence that fills the area. a burning feeling spreads through your chest at his words, the familiarity of it all making your head spin. it isn't the first time you've been like this in front of him; through the almost entire year you dated, there were quite a few times when he'd have to console you after a breakdown. paul knows your issues like the back of his hand, he knows how hard it can be to convince you that you do belong. but he also knows to never give up.
"you are a great driver," he starts, hesitating for a moment before letting his hand rub your shoulder. the action makes your breath hitch in your throat, but not because it's wrong – it's because you've missed his touch, probably far more than you've admitted to yourself before now.
"even my lousy dad thinks i'm bad," you finally get out in-between sniffles, resting your face in your hands.
"and since when do you care about his opinion, huh?"
he's right. at least partially. but still, you remain hunched over, shaking your head. "i may act like it doesn't matter, but
 him calling me all kinds of things
" paul allows you to gather your thoughts, his touch remaining gentle over your racing suit. "it hurt. a lot."
he hums understandingly, letting out a sigh. "when is that stupid little brain of yours going to understand that you're doing well?" his words should bring a smile to your lips – a few months ago, they would've. but now, you don't react at all. "no matter what he says, no matter what the critics say. you're a good driver."
after another few moments of silence, you drop your hands to your lap and look at him. there's a hint of curiousity in his eyes, surprised by your sudden eye contact. "why do you even care?" you question. he's been acting like a complete idiot these past few months – and after you literally cursed him out in melbourne, you haven't spoken a word to each other. and yet, he's taking time out of his day to comfort you like he would a year ago.
"come on
" he presses his lips together in a firm line, shaking his head. "no matter what happens between us, i'll always look after you."
his words, and maybe especially your emotional reaction to them, take you by surprise. despite the anger and frustration you've built up over the last few months, there's an undeniable warmth in his gaze that softens your defenses. the feeling of nostalgia and longing is so strong it's almost painful, as if he has reminded you of a connection you thought had been lost forever.
it's quite strange, considering everything that's happened. but you're not opposed to it.
"how are you feeling after the crash?" paul asks to break the silence as you reach up to dry away the last of your tears from your cheeks. "that was a big impact you had. i got away lightly in comparison."
for the first time since the crash, you stop to actually think about it and allow yourself to feel through your body. the adrenaline from the race has worn off by now, and there's a throbbing in your head that seems to just grow stronger by the second. "i think
 i'm alright
"
"do you want me to go get ollie for you? the race should be done by now," he says, checking the clock on the wall in the truck. "he can take you to go see a medic."
you shake your head instantly. "please, don't. for real."
paul shoots you a strange, confused look, though he gives you a slight nod. "okay, but you have to tell him," he says, pausing a second before continuing. "i know that head of yours, you're going to combust if you keep hiding this. you can't go through it alone."
"i promise."
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you don't end up going to the medical center.
you do, however, go find ollie yourself – but you don't tell him about your chat with paul. instead, you hope he doesn't take notice of the not-so-subtle signs that you've just had a complete meltdown.
it's easy to break promises to people who you don't need to stay truthful to, you realize. last year, you wouldn't even think about breaking a promise to paul – but an ex boyfriend is much easier to lie to.
your current boyfriend wraps his arms around you the second you step close enough. his lips press to the side of your head, his arms giving you another squeeze before pulling away.
ollie has gotten used to your red eyes.
he's gotten used to the sight of your tearstained cheeks, the slight pout on your lips, the heaviness in your sighs.
he's gotten used to the sinking feeling in his stomach, the pain in his chest, the guilt.
but he's also gotten used to not asking, because he knows you won't tell.
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when you wake up on feature race day, something is different. it's like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders after talking to paul; like the air is suddenly much easier to breathe, and the whole world seems a little lighter. you're much more excited for the feature race of the day than any race so far this season.
in today's race, it's ollie's time to crash out. it isn't his fault, though; he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, and got squeezed up against the wall by a trident car. there was nothing he could do.
as soon as he's deemed free of injuries, he makes his way back to the prema garage, joining the team in watching the rest of the race. it's a good one for you; choosing to go with the opposite strategy has really worked out for you so far, with you and zak o'sullivan being the only two drivers in the top who haven't pitted yet.
ollie follows your car intently on the screen in the garage, secretly hoping for a safety car to come out and help you out with your strategy as it's nearing the last few laps. he almost doesn't pull out of his trance even when a hand lands on his shoulder. "she's doing great," dino says from behind him, the brit nodding along to his words. "especially considering... well, she must've told you about yesterday, so i won't repeat it to you."
yesterday?
ollie looks dumbfounded for a moment before he composes himself, though he has no idea what the swede is talking about. "of course."
dino lets out a chuckle, patting his friend's shoulder. "paul said she was a complete mess when he found her," he continues, not realizing he's giving ollie more clues to help figure out what in the world he's talking about. "her anxiety was all over the place, apparently. but she's recovering, she's strong. she won't let this affect her."
ollie hums agreeingly at his words, eyes still glued to the tv in front of him. "certainly," he finally gets out. "she'll get through it with ease."
and so you did – at least for this particular race.
the virtual safety car was incredibly lucky, but that's racing sometimes. with both you and zak changing your tyres in the last lap, you both managed to end up ahead of the rest of the field, and secure a podium each.
unlike in jeddah, seeing paul's car pull up right next to yours on parc ferme isn't all that bad. after yesterday's heart-to-heart with him, you feel like at least part of this podium is thanks to him. if it weren't for his encouragement, you likely would've stuck it in the wall again.
you don't ignore him this time. you don't scoff at his words, you don't feel frustrated at his mere presence. this time, you give him a tight hug when he comes over to congratulate you, arms around his shoulders forcing him close.
"thank you," you can't help but whisper, and paul is grinning from ear to ear when he pulls away from the hug.
"don't," he answers with a quick shake of his head. "you could always pull this off. you just needed a little reminder."
and not only do your shoulders and mind feel a bit lighter as you step onto that monaco podium, but most importantly, your heart.
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"i'm exhausted," you huff as you shrug your bag off your shoulders, leaving it by the door as ollie, too, makes his way into the hotel room. "thank god this weekend is finally over."
you dive onto his already-made bed, landing face-down between the pillows and blankets. the bed is huge, probably over two meters in width, and unbelievably soft. it's the first time you feel like you can truly relax since you got to monaco, and every single cell in your body thanks you for allowing them to rest a little.
"and i don't even have any sim sessions scheduled in over a week. i'm the luckiest person ever." ollie lets out a chuckle at this, his own bag crashing to the floor with a thud before his feet carry him deeper inside the room.
you turn your head and watch as he picks out a water bottle from the mini fridge, but he doesn't drink from it. instead, he makes his way to the bed, choosing to just stand next to it at first. you can't really read his expression, so you speak up – but he beats you to it. "ollie-"
"can we talk?"
you press your hands into the mattress, sitting up properly. "of course," you say, a look of unknowing dejection spreading across your features. "what's wrong?"
"that's... what i wanted to ask you, actually." ollie finally sits down on the bed, but on the opposite side of it, far from you. "what's going on? what happened yesterday?"
"oh, well..." you pause for a second, eyebrows rising as you try to find an explanation. "i just had a bad day, i didn't realize that the safety car-"
"i don't mean the race, i mean what happened after the race." his eyes are piercing into yours, not missing even the slightest movement of your face now. you've got his full attention. "with paul."
your breath hitches in your throat and you instantly look away. your voice is as low as a whisper when you speak again. "i can't believe he told you..."
"he didn't. it was someone else, but that's beside the point." you don't know if you should feel relieved that paul didn't tell ollie, or furious that he told someone else who then told ollie, but you don't have any time to think before his voice infiltrates your thoughts again. "i heard you were... i'm not going to use the same word he did, but i heard you were really upset. something about anxiety, or..."
he hopes you'll pick up where he trailed off, and despite how you're really not in the mood for this conversation right now, it feels unavoidable. "i guess... yesterday's race was really rough on me. and my racing has felt really bad recently, the anxiety has been through the roof, and..." your eyes land on your hands, watching as your fingers tremble slightly in your lap. "i don't know. something about yesterday just triggered it all again."
out of the corner of your eye, you can see ollie nodding understandingly. "how long have you been feeling like this?"
"since always, basically." a single teardrop rolls down your cheek before you even notice that you've started tearing up. you hurry to wipe it away with the sleeve of your shirt. "my mom likes to tell this story about how i used to cry if i performed poorly when i was jumping rope in kindergarten. or about how one time, i came home sobbing over the fact that i thought i was getting kicked out of kindergarten because my drawings weren't as good as the other kids'." the old stories bring a soft smile to your lips, one that soon disappears when you shake your head and squeeze your eyes shut. "it's not usually this bad, but
"
you sigh.
"it's like... imposter syndrome. i'm one of the very few women in motorsports, and i can't help but think that i'm just here because the fia wants to make the sport more equal. or because my sponsors think it's funny to have a woman among the men. or if i'm just here as eye candy. i don't deserve this, i don't have enough talent."
your little rant makes him speechless – both because he didn't expect it at all, and because to him, you're so wrong.
"you're here because you do deserve it and because you consistently perform good results, unlike most other drivers. that has nothing to do with your gender." ollie pauses for a second. "if you didn't have enough talent, you wouldn't be performing this well in a series this hard."
you can't hold back the little smile that slips onto your lips. "this is all very sweet, and i really appreciate it. but it's not that easy for me to just accept what you're saying."
yet again, he nods. "i understand." his voice is so calm, so gentle, so patient. it makes your heart soften. "i'll make sure to remind you of it more often, so that maybe it sticks."
"thank you, ollie."
a long silence follows, and you take the time to brush away a few more tears that have left your eyes. you don't know what to say or how to follow up on this heavy subject, but you don't have to think much more.
"why did you go to paul instead of me?"
your eyes dart to him at the sudden question. he's sounded so composed and calm, but he actually looks quite... nervous? his fingers are fiddling with the lid of the water bottle in his hands, and his entire upper body looks like it's trembling slightly as he breathes. "i didn't," you tell him simply. it's not a lie, per se. "he just happened to walk in on me crying."
"but why did you tell him?" ollie questions, looking up at you from the bottle. "i thought you two weren't even talking these days? ever since that fight you had?"
he is right. you don't even know why you confided in him yourself – it was just a spur-of-the-moment thing. you didn't even try to deny his help; you welcomed it (and him) with open arms.
"we talked about my struggles last year," you finally say, pulling your knees up to your chest and wrapping your arms around them. "so he knew already. and
 i don't know, i guess it felt nice to talk to someone who really knows me."
"but i want to know you." he takes a deep breath before continuing. "i want to know more than your birthday and your favorite color. i want to know it all; what makes you feel good, what makes you anxious, what keeps you going, what slows you down..."
the physical distance between you two may only be a mere two meters, but you feel much more separated than that. you totally understand where he's coming from – he might be exaggerating a little, but your conversations with him are never really deep. though not sure whether it's because you just don't trust him or because you just have a hard time opening up, you can understand the despair he must be feeling.
when ollie notices that you aren't too keen on saying anything, he keeps going. "i want you to trust me. i want to be the person you tell these things to." he scoots closer to you on the bed, one of his hands landing on top of your knee. "i really want to make this work between us. my feelings for you are so strong, just..."
the pain in his eyes is so intense it sends a shiver down your spine, his gaze cutting through you like a knife. your own eyes begin to well up again, but you can't look away now.
"i really want you to give this, give me, a chance."
you've never seen him like this before. hopeless, desperate, practically begging. and in an instant, the guilt comes creeping back into you.
you're the one who's making him feel like this; it's all your fault. and how cruel wouldn't it be to not at least give him an honest chance?
"of course." your voice is weak and shaky, but you nod. "i want that, too. really."
ollie drops his water bottle to the floor before opening his arms wide for you. "come here."
it's easy to climb into his embrace, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as he holds you close. it's easy to lean into him, to inhale his sweet scent, and it's so easy to relax.
you wish it was as easy to open up to him. oh, how badly you wish it was as easy as a-b-c or do-re-mi. you really want to let him in; you, too, want this to work.
the silence that follows is a comfortable one. the air feels thick with unspoken emotions, a heaviness of the previous conversation still lingering, but there's an unspoken understanding between you and ollie. the previously well-known weight of the world on your shoulders seems to lift, if only momentarily; his fingers tracing soothing patterns on your back is like a silent reassurance that he's there, he's present, and he's willing to wait for you to open up in your own time.
after what feels like an eternity, ollie breaks the silence. "let's do something. let's go on a vacation together."
you lean back slightly, just enough to look at his face but stay in his hold. "
what?"
your reaction isn't exactly what he had hoped for, but he goes on. "i'm going back to italy this week, you should come with me." he reaches up with a hand to your face, thumb softly massaging away the frown you hadn't even noticed had formed. "we'll travel around, go see the national parks, hike in the mountains... swim in the sea, eat at good italian restaurants..."
your features soften at his suggestions; it all does sound very sweet. still, you can't hold back from asking, "but why?"
"we have almost a month until the next race weekend, and you said that you don't have any sims this week. this could help take your mind off racing, and..." a sheepish smile appears on his face. "maybe it could make us get a little closer."
uncertainties and conflicting thoughts continue to cloud your heart, making the decision harder than it should be. on one hand, accepting the offer could offer a much-needed reprieve from all the pressures of the racing world. on the other hand, your unresolved feelings for paul still hold you back. spending a romantic holiday with ollie sounds like a dream, just as much as the mere thought of revealing yourself to him makes you nauseous from the fear.
but you want to be brave. and maybe to let go of paul, you need to just forget about your worries and dive head-first into ollie.
"it sounds perfect. let's do it."
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yourusername just posted!
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yourusername we're back baby!! leaving monaco with some good points. 🔜 barcelona and the team's home race, let's go 😁
show all 78 comments
user finally back on the podium! â€ïžđŸ’™
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎
user great drive today !!!
→ user it was just luck 😭 without the vsc she would've never gotten that podium
→ user okay and??
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎
olliebearman what's up with the hair dinobeganovic_
→ yourusername it's called fashion
→ dinobeganovic_ it's called waking up at 5 for a feature race
→ user you're still gorgeous dino 😚
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎
redbulljuniorteam đŸ’ȘđŸ’™â€ïž
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎
sebasmontoya58 pepe don't punch the girl, she did nothing wrong
→ yourusername i did nothing wrong!!!
→ pepemartiofficial tell him what you did
→ yourusername never
→ pepemartiofficial sebas check your whatsapp
→ yourusername YOU WOULDNT
→ pepemartiofficial i totally would
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rinstaro · 2 years ago
Note
Reader living their best life wearing a lil skirt n some thigh highs and sky cant take how cute they look and can’t resist making a creamy mess all over them while the reader begs him to hurry up and make them squirt but he js wants to take his time telling them how pretty they look in that lil Lacey top
Hella overstim
sky can rut into me like a dog
man can hit me with a bus and I’d thank him
that’s all thanks for coming to my Ted talk đŸ«Ą
this is so much good god 😭 first the time anon being in heat and now this akjjfcnjajns
how are the stans of the sweetest boy the absolute horniest. WHO ARE U HORNY SKY STAN
also sorry ive been taking so long with these! i havent been in a writing mood lately haha
cw: reader wears feminine clothes, clothed sex, coochie eating, overstim, fingering, he asks for explicit verbal consent, squirting, a little praise, he's pussy drunk!!! yay!!! not proofread, reader has a vagina no pronouns
minors do not react.
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to say you looked good enough to eat was an understatement.
sky couldn’t get enough of staring at your lace trim cami and short little skirt. not to mention the thigh high socks you had on. so instead of just staring at them, he put himself in between them.
“f-fuuuuck! gonna cuuuuum!” and not even a few minutes after he’d been on you, you’d already creamed on his fingers and his face once, the milky substance coating his tongue and making him crave more. he hadn’t bothered to remove any of your clothes, your skirt hiding his face from view.
your legs began to tremble when he refused to stop moving his fingers. you pushed at his head as he bullied your cunt, needy moans turning into weak sobs. "l-lemme go, quit it! 's too much!"
your boyfriend only moaned into your cunt, relishing in the feeling of your clit throbbing against his tongue. moments later he rose to press his lips to yours. sky's fingers crooked upwards and he broke away to laugh at how your legs tried to close in on him.
"'m sorry, sweetheart. you're just so pretty. dressed so fuckin' cute, look at you." sky swears he could drool at how you looked. his favorite place to be was between your thighs. he's had to look at how your thigh high socks complimented your figure perfectly, hugging the soft flesh. he wasn't sure if he wanted to rip them off you or just keep staring at them. while he ended up going for the latter, he couldn't just stare at you.
no, he needed to feel you or he was gonna go crazy. his dick was throbbing, only getting worse when you clenched around him and called his name. sky let out a shaky moan as you came again. "you feel so good around my fingers, sweetheart," he sighed. he finally stopped his movements, staring at you as you tried to catch your breath. your tiny shirt was pushed up your chest, pebbled nipples on display for him. all that sky bothered to get rid of was your underwear.
"can i fuck you, sweetheart? please, i need to feel you," he murmured, never breaking eye contact. you shuddered at his request. his voice sounded so raw and you hadn't even touched him. you could only nod, wrapping your arms around his neck. "need you to say it, (name)."
"yes, i want you to, link. please."
he wasted no time in pushing your thighs back, forcing your knees to your chest. it happened so fast you dont even know when he got his dick out, but in the next moment he slipped into you with ease. sky groaned loudly when he bottomed out, arms trembling in an effort to hold himself up. you felt so fucking good, he felt like he could cum already.
well, why not, he thought. he'd have you to himself all night.
sky slammed his hips into yours with no remorse, the sound of both your gushing cunt and your hips meeting his filling the room. your back arched, body still sensitive from the first couple orgasms. you whimpered weakly as he growled into your ear.
"so good, so good- fuck, gonna cum already-" he panted, his thrusts only becoming rougher. your toes curled as grabbed your hips, angling himself to where he knew he'd hit that spongy spot inside you every time. you keened when he did just that, determined to make you cum with him.
a few more thrusts and he was gone, throwing his head back as he filled your needy cunt. his thrusts wouldn't stop, sky hissing at the overstimulation. you felt so good it hurt, but he couldn't stop, not now. he was gorgeous above you, and you felt your own orgasm approaching fast.
"c-come on, cum," he demanded, somehow picking up his pace. you yelped at the sudden increase in speed. both of your moans increased in volume. "w-wait, mmm, slow down, i'll-"
"do it."
your body seized up, almost unable to handle the force of your orgasm. you sprayed all over the both of you, every thrust forcing more out of you. you cried out, tears falling down your cheeks at the overwhelming pleasure. sky was still going, letting his moans fall freely out of his mouth. "s-so good, pretty pussy's so good, cant stop," he groaned.
"link, too much! slow- fuck! please!" you begged, the overstimulation becoming too much for you to handle. your lover couldn't leave you like this. no, he needed you stuffed to the brim. only then could he be satisfied.
"if i can- fuck, fuck- if i can do it, you can too, sweetheart. don't give up on me now. dressed up so pretty for me, let me reward you for it, yeah?"
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jakegasm · 2 years ago
Text
again. part two. | jake sully
genre: angst ♧ , fluff ♡
pairing: jake sully x omatikaya!reader (mentions of neytiri and tsu’tey) 
word count: 2.9k
warnings: none! yay!
brief info: jake has noticed your closeness with tsu’tey and can’t stand for that. Won’t say too much bc it’ll give it away sooooo enjoy! 
notes: i want to thank all those who gave their ideas for this second part, I tried to include everyone's ideas so forgive me if I did;t use your idea. But yeah you know who you are, thank you so much I LOVE YOU ALL!!
*not proofread so there may be shit loads of grammar issues in here*
tag listđŸ€:
- @almighty-raiden-shogunate , @agustdeeyaa , @hangezoes-wife , @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed , @hangezoes-wife, @itwasntreal, @atokirina-writings, @ricecakeslove, @petrasdesire
there are more of you that are supposed to be on this list but tumblr told me they couldn't find your blog T-T so I have sent those who I couldn't tag a message! and also if I didn't tag you and said that I would please forgive me there were a lot of you to remember T-T
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He was annoyed. At least that’s what it seemed to be to Neytiri.
 A certain aggressiveness to his movements while he used his knife to sharpen the point of his arrow, his arms flexing more than usual. His eyes stayed fixed on something causing a sharpness to be held within them. Neytiri watched her “mate” from afar, his frustration now leaking out of him and into her. Eyes slowly followed his line of vision falling upon a soon-to-be-mated pair. 
You and Tsu’tey. 
Seeing the two interact with each other always made her suspicions rise. The both of you never spoke to one another, yet now you two were destined to be mated. Tsu’tey was a hunter, you a tsahik. Both of you served in different social groups, not once interacting with each other, not even a glance. None of it made sense. It all happened too fast. Too sudden. She often pushed her personal feelings aside deeming it was not her place to have a voice in the matter, though this was a struggle to contain as she watched her “mate” continuously be irritated by their presence. Perhaps something happened with Tsu’tey? She thought. Jake and Tsu’tey often hunted in the same party, looking back the two had a rough introduction to each other, so a quarrel happening between the two wasn’t too alarming. 
Gently she placed her knife down next to the leaf she used to cut up some fruit for dinner later on, she let out a puff of air rising from her seat making her way towards the man who she swore had steam radiating off of him from how much he was fuming. 
“They are lovely aren’t they?” her voice snapping his head towards her, eyes wide. A giggle bubbled up seeing his reaction, though she covered her mouth quick enough to suppress its escape. His face relaxed, only for a second though as his previous frustrated expression soon after. Head looking back down at the work of his arrow, bringing a finger up to the point and testing the sharpness of it.  “Yeah. I’m happy for them,” he grunted out, his frustration no longer trying to be masked. He was not happy. Not even a little. He actually hated–no despised the new couple. 
Loud laughter rang out just loud enough for him to hear, pushing his ears back toward the sound. You were laughing. Quickly he took a chance to catch a glimpse of you, you had tears in your half-closed eyes, your hand resting on Tsu’tey’s arm for support as you hunched over laughing at whatever he just told you. Jake held his breath briefly behind pursed lips to steel himself against the glee of your laughter. He fought the strong urge to go over to you and take you away from him, he wanted you to laugh at him like that. Only him. He had to do something about this and he had to do it quickly. Now. Before, he lost you for good. Except he found himself glued to his seat, his body refusing to move. His heart told him to go, but his brain kept him in place.
“You wish to speak with her don’t you?” Sighing Jake closed his eyes leaning forwards, resting his arms on his legs. 
“If she doesn’t want to speak to me, that’s fine. She doesn’t have to” A pair of soft hands clasped themselves around his making his eyes slowly open, his eyes meet a pair of delicate ones filled with so much reassurance. 
“You are wrong. So very wrong.” His eyebrows bunched together in confusion at her statement. Her face wore a smile that he couldn’t quite comprehend. 
“You need to make amends. Talk to her before it is too late. You may not get this chance again.” 
Slowly he straighten his posture, his hands still residing with her own, his face jumbled together. Where was this coming from? Could she be hinting at a particular feeling he has tried so hard to subside during their time together? Did he really make it that obvious? She continued.
“That night. I heard you two. I followed her, my curiosity getting the best of me. To my surprise, I found you with her trying to console her, comfort her, treasure her. It was clear to me then
and even now.” Reaching up she rested one of her hands upon his cheek, her thumb rubbing soothingly across the bone of his cheek, her smile never dropping nor changing. 
“You were made for her, not me. I cannot take you away from her. I will not. All I ask and wish for my sister is happiness, her happiness is mine
and you Jake Sully,” she paused, bringing her other hand to the other side of his face, her hands now fully holding his face.
“Are her happiness. Our happiness.” 
~~~~
He tossed and turned, seemingly not able to get comfortable quickly as he usually did. Everyone was already fast asleep, including Neytiri that rested beside him in their shared hammock. Her chest rising and falling slowly with every breath she took contentment resting in her face, she looked
peaceful. Her words from earlier filled his head, much so causing his restlessness. 
“You Jake Sully are her happiness. Our happiness.” 
Her words confused him, yet at the same time, they made so much sense. She was giving her blessing to him. But why? He was her “mate” – well soon to be. The two never quite found the time nor the need for it to happen. They were simply going along with the punchline for her mother. Putting on a show if he would describe it as such, though that’s very much so of what it was. His heart had belonged to you and always you. Though, your mother deemed you were not fit for the role to be the mate of Toruk Makto. It angered him seeing the way your mother treated you at times as if you didn’t have a mind or even a conscious of your own. He knew your mother loved you deeply he just thought she had one hell of a way of showing it. 
Carefully he swung his body out of the hammock, moving and stepping as quite as possible watchful enough to not move too much to prevent waking Neytiri. Successfully, he made his way out of their–the shared hut taking a route he knew too well seeing he’d always go here on sleepless nights like this one. 
Pushing plants and leaves out of his face as he passed through he could hear the splashing of water along with the smell of crispy water, a smile slowly creeping up on his face. Pushing more leaves out of the way he made his way toward the small pond picking up a little speed on the way. The abrupt softness under his foot stopped him in his tracks, glancing down he noticed a loincloth and familiar teal beaded top, his heart sped up as he recognized who this belonged to. The sound of humming broke him away from the clothes, his eyes being directed to the sound as if he was being enchanted and put under a spell, quietly he tucked himself behind a rather large leaf. 
There you were. The moon shined perfectly on you. Water glistening on your skin making it look softer than ever. Your hair was wet and slicked back while you occupied yourself with your humming, eyes closed and the most beautiful smile on your face. He felt the air being sucked out of him the more he watched you, you were so ethereal looking. Too heavenly to be real. He was snapped out of his trance to the sound of gasping, his heart picking up pace for a different reason now. He was caught. Almost instantly you covered yourself, sinking deeper into the water your face just above the water. 
“What are you doing here?” You shrieked. He opened and closed his mouth probably resembling a fish out of water gasping for air as he struggled to find a correct explanation for her. Instead, he just slapped a hand over his eyes while his other hand held out in front of him as he slowly emerged from behind the leaf. 
“I didn’t see anything, I swear.” He was nervous, so nervous he could feel himself sweating. Hearing the splashing and crashing of the water he assumed you were getting out and waited a few more seconds before peeking through his fingers to see you in front of him tying the knot back on your loincloth. Removing his hand from his face he watched as you readjusted your clothing back on your body, your hair falling alluringly in front of your face. His hand itched to fix it though he refrained curling it into a ball at his side. 
“Announce yourself next time. The water is all yours now.” You were quick to walk away from him, a pang running through his chest as you refused to look at him as you spoke rather coldly to him. His body moved before his mind could comprehend what he was doing. You came to an abrupt stop, his body now blocking your path huffing you crossed your arms over your damped chest. 
“Out of the way.”He stood frozen. Your face grew irritated more and more by the second. 
“I said out of my way, Sully. I must  leave before Tsu’tey grows suspicious of my absence.” 
“I can’t let you do that.” He finally breathed out, his nerves now all jumbled up. 
“Why not?” The annoyance in your face twisted something in his chest. You were never this cold towards him, though he couldn’t blame you for it. This was all his fault. 
“I need–I want to talk about
about us.” 
He watched the cold demeanor on your face break a little, but it quickly covered your face again except now it was colder than before. You scoffed looking at him in disbelief. 
“What are you talking about? There is no us Jake. There never has been. So, there is nothing for us to discuss.” Again you tried to make your way around him but again you were caught. 
He wasn’t letting you go that easily. He needed something to keep you here with him, he needed to tell you the truth. Biting his lip he cursed at himself for what was about to come out of his mouth. 
“I love you.” 
Silence. 
You stood there in front of him your back towards him, your feet glued to the soft grass where you two stood. Your heart paced fast, too fast it felt like it would explode out of your chest. He felt the same except his heart paced out of worry, fear that you had gotten over your feelings and that he was a little too late. Little by little you turned yourself around to face him, his eyes frantic and desperate for you to say something. Anything. 
“What?” You exhaled out a shaky breath, your vision becoming blurry. 
“I said that I love you.” His voice was more serious now. Straightening up his posture he poked out his chest a little to show his seriousness. Your small frame coward shoulders slumped and your breathing became ragged. It felt like that night all over again and it was becoming too much for you. 
“You do not mean that. You are saying these words to me to make things right. I will not fall for it this time Jake.” You sucked in a sharp breath as you felt a sob getting ready to rip through you and out of your mouth. “I cannot let you do this to me again.”
“I am happy. The happiest I have ever been. Tsu’Tey has taught me what love should and should not be. He–He has taught me that I need to love myself before I can give all my love to you.” You shook. Hard. You were crumbling right before him and all he wanted to do was hold you and tell you everything would be okay and that they’ll work through it. He slowly lifted his hands to your face that rested in a downward position, cupping your face in his hands he rose your face to his. His mouth suddenly became dry when your eyes reflected the same expression you held all those night ago. You didn’t fight him you didn’t have the energy to nor did you want to. You wanted to believe what he was saying was true, though there was a part of you that didn’t trust a word he spoke to you. 
“Then let me help you. Let me be the one who helps you find that love for yourself to share. With me.” 
“I–I do not understand.” Your voice was laced with sadness but also confusion. 
He had run out of options. There was not a single thought in his mind that he could cook up and serve to you in words, his mouth nor brain would allow it. Hs tongue retracted outwards coating his dried lips with a layer of saliva, his eyes danced between yours and your lips. He wanted to stop himself for what he was about to do, in respect for you and Tsu’Tey’s relationship but in all honesty? He couldn’t care less. 
His body leans in, so carefully. Breathing and no breathing could be heard between the two of you as he grew closer and closer to you until his lips were ghosting over your own. He paused for a moment waiting to see if you would push him away from you or pull yourself away, but you didn’t. Your own breathing had slowed down your eyes watching his lips now as you could feel his breath among them. He was so close you could barely feel your legs anymore or your fingers, not even the slight chill of the night that blew around the both of you because all you felt was him, everywhere, filling everything around you. He whispers, 
“Please.”
“Please don’t hate me for this.” Pushing his head a bit further, he felt his lips finally connect with your own. Your lips are softer than anything he has ever known, soft like a first snowfall, or biting into cotton candy that melted away by the slightest touch. You tasted sweet. So effortlessly sweet. 
This was the only thing that mattered. 
This. 
You. 
Your petite body pressed against his and your arms found their way to his neck wrapping them to pull him even closer into the embrace. Your lips danced feverishly together as if you two were starving for each other, and without a doubt you two were. His hands dropped from your face sliding their way down your body, his fingers brushing lightly against the curves of your hips sending a small shiver down your spine. Swiftly he hooked the back of your legs wrapping it around his torso, carefully sinking you both to the ground with you straddling him. Breaking for air, he headed for his next destination. His kisses felt like fire against your skin, the way his lips pecked and nibbled on the skin residing between your neck and collarbone sent your mind into a whirlpool. 
“Jake
” you puffed out, your lungs no longer working at the moment. Your voice seemed to fall on deaf ears as he continued his assault on you. Holding the small of your back he rested a hand behind your head as he laid you softly on the grass, his new position in between your legs now. His lips found yours again except this time he was more desperate. His lips moved now rather harshly against your sucking and biting at them to get your gasp out his name, his thoughts running wild as you did so. 
Once again you two broke away for air heavily panting as you both observed each other. You underneath him with messy hair and slightly swollen lips and him above you with eyes hazing over. Your eyes reflected loving eyes, showing him they are the door to his own soul. Touching him with those gentle hands, not as clay, but as if his body were reborn in its most perfect form. And so, in this love there runs a deep gratitude, a sense that what is given is sacred and transient, passing in time into the eternal cycles of living.
You wore a smile on your face, a smile that was finally for him, your hand cupping his face and gently rubbing your thumb soothingly across it. Instinctively, he leaned in your touch.
“I–see you
jake.” 
He felt a wide grin spread across his face as his stomach did a flip after  flip. 
“And I see you, y/n.” 
~~~~~
The two of you walked back hand in hand, both faces wearing a smile. The sun now rising spreading across the forest, waking a few up in the process. 
“So what are you going to tell my sister?” Awkwardly Jake scratched the back of his neck.
“Well, she was the one who pushed me to do this. But, I’m glad I did because if not I would’ve lost you to Tsu’Tey.”  The comment earned a small laugh from the girl beside him tweaking confusion from him.
“I and Tsu’Tey were never going to mate. We were following my mother’s request, neither of us were interested in the other.” 
He was relieved, relieved that you and Tsu’Tey were never mated, and also relieved that he could be the one to mate you, just like he had planned. 
“So? Does this mean I can be your mate?” You stepped in front of him, locking your fingers together and smiling beamingly up at him. 
“It seems Eywa has deemed you so. Jake Sully.” 
His smile mirrored your own before he swiftly captured your lips with his own once again, silently thanking their great mother. After all, 
Eywa makes no mistakes.
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