#once again i'd like to say i have no idea what im doing and i have literally zero formal training/teaching/etc HFDSJKL
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dandyshucks · 10 months ago
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im gonna critique my own art real quick bc this is bugging me, I DONT KNOW WHAT I DID ??
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COMPARING THESE. at first i was like wrow the face looks so great. and then i did the arm (i genuinely dont know how i coloured the arm FSDJKL i remember putting down the base colour for it but i do not remember doing anything other than that and the final touches of the arm hair HELP ???) and suddenly the face looked flat and kind of like... well, the colours look murky and muted in comparison i think. like the colouring looks kind of bad on the face now.
the arm colouring is just so much richer and lively, and i TRIED to fix the face but fdjskl everything i was doing was just making it worse so i had to give up and just call it quits BUT ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY
the arm colouring is just so much better than the face and it's making me GRGRHRHH i wish i could figure out what i did bc im pretty sure i was using the same palette as the face?? so maybe I just coloured it in with a different technique?
MAYBE the underpainting had smth to do with it actually, bc i originally had the sleeve base colour there (a very dark purple) but then decided to do his short sleeved hoodie so i went over that with the arm base and i had colour mixing set to 100 the entire time i worked on this bc im a fiend fdsjkl
also something sort of funny is that I used the same palette for both skin tones (like I used all the colours of the palette for both of them, just in differing ways), I think I have somehow accidentally achieved a pretty good skin tone palette even though like four of the colours I had added to my palette for reasons that have nothing to do with colouring in skin (i.e. for linework or as a background flat colour for sketching)
here i arranged them all nice bc i realized i'd been using all of these for skin tones
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(i'm going to keep working on the palette though because I think there are definitely things missing and things that could be changed! but tbh i rarely even use the palette feature, this was just kind of a happy accident when i noticed "oh i have some colours up there from previous things that i could use for this maybe")
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pankomako · 1 year ago
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sometimes i think about interactions boat and i have had and things he's said to/about me over the years and it makes me feel as though i must occupy some little space in his heart. like i live in his mind rent-free the way he does for me, although not nearly to the same extent lmao.
speak of the goddamn devil i just got a steam notification he's playing tf2
anyway i never thought i'd have that kind of effect on a person, much less my favorite content creator. but it sure appears to be that way, and idk. it makes me feel special. warms my heart n all that :)
#was one of two people to give me their phone number when i had to drop off of discord 2 years ago#never took advantage of it though (shy (also we have different brands of phones so texting probably wouldnt work right#other person was an irl friend (never contacted them either#i remember one time YEARS ago when he was wanting to read jjba on stream or smth like that#him: it's like REALLY not family friendly me: well i shouldnt watch bc i am a Child him: no its ok you dont have to skip It's very dirty th#like guy clearly just wanted me there bc he enjoys my company And he's said he does! i remember him saying he likes seeing me in chat#and once again he was the one that wanted me on the staff team when usually the staff pick new recruits and boat has final say#and apparently he's talked about me to his other friends. that's kinda where the old Time to Mod in-joke started#he was using voice to text to talk to whoever and said my username but the thing misinterpreted it#that coupled with the meme drawing i did that he edited so it's him just saying 'pain'. eventually that dumb fucking image spawned#and then there was the night he spammed it and spam mentioned me in chat when he was streaming while i was ASLEEP#once we were in a vc and he was like 'wow i'd forgotten what your voice sounded like' NEVER heard him say that to anyone else. What#dont even get me started with him and my artwork (man would probably flip tf out seeing what i can do now LOL)#guy literally wanted ME to design an official tff logo but at that point they were kinda slowing down so it never happened#but yeahno i just. ugh. our friendship means a lot to me. i am ITCHING to speak to him again you have no idea#and to just give him a big ol hug. been wanting that for such a long time#quite frankly a friendship dynamic like no other ive seen#dont mind me REMINISCING. im sooo sappy about him he's the most important guy in the world to me#if god exists he knew we'd be too powerful if we grew up together
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pentaghast · 2 years ago
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i still miss alistair tho. saw some screenshots of him in inquisition w the original alistair mod and almost starting crying
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kroosluvr · 3 months ago
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present day
if every day will be like this from now on, i'll look forward to every single one.
ok. Sits down. help meeee i tried using csp's comic tools for once (and also gradient maps + coloring w monochrome) to save time bUT I ENDED UP SPENDING THE USUAL AMT ANYWAY SO. . erm. WELL IT WAS FUN ANYWAYS
hiiiiiiiii i wrote this script 4 months ago nd finally did it (had this on the backburner for 20 million yrs bc i wanted to get out other angst bullshit first)
the parallels of goro's back (x3) on the first 2 pgs are kinda not 1:1 as i'd like but REGARDLESS i still like them. goro, who had utmost control over his life, running it like a machine, regardless of how he feels or if he's tired or if he wants to give up.......he was in control. knowing, of course, that his life is on the line at every waking moment, but since he was always on edge, always alert, he was still in control.
but now, surviving the long winter and coming out to the other side, he's lost that control AND that edge. now what is he left with? what is there left?
very speficially in the 2nd page.... i think its so <3 YAY <3 that goro, now, doesn't feel the need to take such spic-and-span clean-cut care of his appearance.., guy who rolls out of bed and throws on a shirt to go hangout w akira and sumire. he decides to tie up his hair and forgoes his gloves... feels more "comfortable" to change his apperance, to let down his guard a little. <- was the rough symbolism JKDSHKFS
sumire getting the choco croissant but letting goro have the first bite YEAHHHH WHATEVER
4th page symbolism is also rough i didnt think abt it too hard LMAO. 3rdsem goro watching his detective prince self leave. he knows acutely well that chapter of his life is over - whether he survives the long winter or dies in it. all that he knew - even though it was miserable and awful and frustrating and dangerous - is gone.
and now there's just this: the present day. whatever that means.
i think something important to me abt royal trio is just the idea of Learning To Just Exist: no need for a "purpose" or a "calling" or some overarching "goal". they just learn to exist.
and of course none of them really have a benchmark for "wow i like this i want to live like this" so they just roll with the punches, as they always have, but yknow. finally getting to live their honest student life as they always deserved
edit: and most importantly for goro, i think, is learning to cut himself some slack. "despite everything" he says, despite all the shit he's endured AND all the shit he's done, he feels like this is "right." whatever that means, he's ready to take it day by day to figure it out. AND THATS THE WHOLE THING Punches wall really hard
edit: I ALSO FORGOT. i think the sentiment of "being waited for" for goro means a lot. since he had to do everything by himself, fight for himself, decide everything for himself frm such a young age, the idea of akira and sumire waiting for him, inviting him out simply for him to be there -> is really meaningful to him, more than they could know.
edit AGAIN: also goro sleeping in means a lot to me. i imagine that guy has pretty terrible insomnia. ALSO HE HAS A BEDFRAME! i like the thought of his apartment being so /r/malelivingspaces throughout the game. he doesn’t deserve a bedframe. BUT HE HAS ONE NOW!
goros expressions in the last page gve me a hard time. sparkly....
also im SO freaking sorry if his voice isnt too well-written... i had a crisis over the wording while draiwng htis so much DSKHASKDASJK AND THE PANELING AND WHATEVERRR IDEK WHAT IM DOINGGG but it was fun!!!! exploratory..... regardless i will keep workign to do him and royaltrio justice. THUMBSUP EMOJI.
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withlove-xixi · 3 months ago
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— SANJI NSFW THOUGHTS: sanji x reader
ᥫ cw: nsfw, pet names, praise, also cum, roleplay ★ my favorite white guy ... sanji my darling boyfriend ... i miss him i need to start watching one piece again — MINORS DNI! —
first things first, i'm putting my foot down and saying sanji is simply too service top for me to see as a power bottom. im sorry, as much as i know he would be wrapped around your finger, he's not completely powerless. sure if you told him to bottom, he'd be bent over and spread open before you've even finished asking.
that being said, his submissiveness is done completely out of love. he's always treating you like you're the most precious thing in the world, because to him, you're nothing less.
hes definitely not that kinky i'd say, hes just willing to try things you'd like. sure, there are some things that would turn him on (doesn't everything lol?) but i think there would be very few of what hes actually into and definitely some he'd absolutely refuse to do.
ive seen other people say it, but idt he'd be big on like spanking or other kinds of pain play, simply because the idea of hurting you (consensual or accidental) will actually drive him insane and he'd explode. he's a bit wary of things like bondage too because what if you get hurt? your safety is always his priority, he'd do anything to ensure it.
idt he's keen too on the idea of threesomes, voyeurism, etc because hes a bit .. possessive of you. at least, maybe he would allow sharing you if he had the reins. like if he was able to dictate how things would happen and stuff, because otherwise he wouldn't dare even entertain the idea. i think sanji finds sex to be intimate more than anything, it's a way for him to show his love to you, so why must he share that? that isnt to say he hasnt thought about having multiple partners during sex, the idea's passed through his mind once or twice before and it's gotten him flustered, but it's hardly anything he'd really want to do (again, unless he had control of things or if you really begged him for it)
oh and he is so good with praise. he's always showering you with complements even outside of sex. it's always "good job, darling" or "i've got you, sweetheart" and aughhh!! he's just sweet like that. he's always planting kisses on your thighs or chest, on the back of your hand on against you palm. PLUS PETNAMES! he loves calling you all sorts of things, comparing you to summer days or sweet flowers. it was like he was always finding new ways to tell you he loved you.
i think sanji likes looking at you too. sometimes he could be a bit too mesmerized by you, staring intently, hungrily with those pretty blue eyes. he's taking in every detail of your face and body, every bead of sweat on your skin, the shine of slick on your thighs, the rise and fal of your chest. sometimes he gets too busy staring he stays completely frozen lmao.
and ... i think he likes watching you covered in his cum. like he'd cum as deep as he can inside you snd spread you apart just a bit to watch it ooze out, or he'd cum on your belly and smear it over your skin eith his fingers, or he'd cum all over your face and watch it drip off your chin (oh he is definitely getting a nose bleed from all that)
his favorite thing though is when you dress up for him. whether is frilly revealing tops or lacy lingere, he's getting hard as soon as he sees you. again, idt he's got too many kinks, he's just willing to try things out with you, but if there was anything he liked the most it might be roleplay. there's something about seeing you in different outfits and seeing you play the role of a nurse or a doctor sends his blood rushing to his dick lol.
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remcycl333 · 1 year ago
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my sp story <3
hi besties! if you've been following my blog for a while you know that i've been single for a while, partly because i like to be independent and single, and partly because i just didn't like anyone. obviously i could just manifest a guy out of thin air, but when im not confronted face to face with a crush then i just don't care about being in a relationship so i never manifested someone out of thin air lol
but then a couple of weeks ago i was at the movies with my friends, and there were couples cuddling around us and i was like "aw :( kinda wish i had a bf now." and what do we do when we feel any type of desire? we immediately fulfill ourselves, no matter how "small" the desire is! so that's what i did. i imagined for like two seconds that i was cuddling with a boy at the theaters, and then i got distracted by the movie and forgot all about it
then like 15 minutes later, a guy that i'd had a crush on four years ago randomly slid into my dms. i never pursued him four years ago bc my bff at the time had dibs on him, but we're not friends anym and haven't been for years so it was my time to shine!!!
anyway, we talk for like a week. i know this guy is funny and shit bc of when we hung out irl, but like all he's sending me are unfunny memes that don't really warrant a response. so it was kinda tough
and this is the part where you guys are going to yell at me!!! i was like oh i should use my manifestation skills and make sure this goes smoothly....but then i was like nah im just gonna go with the flow 😭😭😭 and i know you guys are like REM!!!! u manifest EVERYTHING u can't just turn it off!!!! anyway.....long story short a week into us talking this mf randomly blocks me!!!!
so im instantly like 🙄🙄 damn fine i'll manifest him back bc im stubborn and do not like being told no in my reality
so how did i do it? how did i manifest him back?
if you guys have followed me for a while, you know that i manifested an sp a couple years ago by simply affirming "i love [his name] so much" any time i'd think of him and this would conjure the feeling of the wish fulfilled. (NOT mindless affirming. i'd say it maybe two or three times to catch the feeling and then move on)
ANYWAY so that's what i did! and let me tell you....i was not "perfect" by any means 😭 in fact this manifestation really kinda opened my eyes on how EASY manifestation truly is. like i already knew how easy it was, but damn!
if you know that your desire is promised and that it is coming because you gave it to yourself in imagination (even ONCE) ... there is NOTHING that will stop it. i was gonna make a separate post on this and i tried but i just couldn't articulate it correctly so im going to try again:
it took 12 days to manifest him to unblock me and message me. im sure it would've taken a shorter amount of time if i was more disciplined with myself but it's kinda crazy bc of how UNdisciplined i was 😭 tbh i was just kinda like...unsure if i even wanted to manifest him at all bc thats how much i value my alone time and my independence lol
anyway, i always get asks from people who are stressed and anxious bc they think that in order to manifest your desire, you can never enter the state of lack ever again and that dwelling in negative thoughts will "ruin" your manifestations. but i am here to tell you IT DOES NOT MATTER!!! you do not need to be "perfect"!!!! as long as you are staying faithful to the idea that you have your desire in the 4d, it'll manifest in the 3d.
another thing i see so many people confused and stressed about is whether or not they're naturally thinking from the state. for instance, every time you think of your sp, you think from the end of being in a relationship with them, before you think of the fact that you're not together yet. and let me tell you....while this CAN happen, it's not always gonna happen and it's not necessary. let me tell you, the DAY before my sp reached out, and even the day that he did....i would catch myself thinking about how we weren't together! but the gag is....YOUR THOUGHTS DON'T MANIFEST!!!! yes, they indicate what state you're in, but the actual thoughts themselves don't mean shit!!! they don't manifest. they just don't!
so i'd shift back to the state of being my sp's girlfriend when i'd have these thoughts, but i was fully aware we were not together in my 3d and i never naturally thought of us as being together before i saw any evidence of it in my 3d. all i had was the knowing that my inner man was with my sp, and that since i'd decided i had it in imagination, it would push out into my 3d. because that's how the law works!!! and honestly, that's all you really need. you just need to know that since you gave yourself your desire in your imagination ONE TIME, it WILL manifest. and if you have a true understanding of how the law works and you've read source, you will have no trouble knowing that it will come.
you also do NOT need to be in the state of the wish fulfilled 24/7!!! at all!!!! i cannot stress this enough. and tbh i used to feel the same. i felt like i had to be aware of having my desire in imagination 24/7 or else it wouldn't come. i thought i couldn't perceive the lack or opposite in my 3d or else it wouldn't manifest (see this post about dismissing the 3d btw if u need help with that). but the gods honest truth is that all you need to do is DECIDE you have your desire in imagination & not take no for an answer & KNOW that your desire is GOING TO REFLECT IN YOUR 3D NO MATTER WHAT!!!!
and that's not to say that you wont still get anxious and have intrusive thoughts and be like "oh god what if it never manifests." like... im human and i had those human moments. but i just reminded myself that i know the law and ive proven it to myself many times and i know that it had to manifest.
anyway. back to my sp story!
so for these 12 days that im blocked (lmfao) all i did was affirm "i love [his name] so much" whenever i thought of him until i caught the feeling of the wish fulfilled. that's it. and i knew for a fact that he was mine in the 4d and therefore we'd be together in the 3d bc that's the law!
anyway on friday (5 days ago) at 8pm? im scrolling thru the ulta app and then im like "oh i havent fulfilled myself today i dont think" so i fulfilled myself for like 2 seconds and then get distracted by some product and then two minutes later i get a notif that this guy followed me and then dmed me 😭
it's funny cuz my irls don't know about the law of assumption so i sent them a screenshot and i was like "look who came crawling back" and they were like BOOOOO!!! and i was like no guys!!!!! i created the blocking and i created this like i promise we can trust him 😭😭 hahahaha
anyway. let me tell you. if you are manifesting an sp, DO NOT DO THAT SHIT IN STEPS!!!!! i mean, if you really want to, i can't stop you, but i really don't recommend it.
with my old sp (the one from two years ago) i'd always manifest contact and then get it, and then he'd ghost me and and id have to manifest contact again and it'd be a never ending cycle!!! bc i was just focusing on contact, not on how i felt or how he felt about me.
the reason i loveeee to affirm "i love my sp so much" INSTEAD OF "HE loves ME so much" is because it helps me catch the feeling of the wish fulfilled so much more. not only that, but because remember, THERE IS NO ONE TO CHANGE BUT SELF!!!! changing the way i see my sp and the way i feel about him is all i need to do. im not trying to change him and make him love me lol. this is about me and my inner reality, not him! he'll reflect whatever i am in the 4d
another reason i love affirming this is because TO ME, this is what implies we are already together. whenever im in a relationship, i always find myself laying around all giddy thinking about how obsessed with my bf i am and how i love him so much. so i emulate that when im manifesting an sp.
and it's PERFECT because by jumping straight to the end where we're already together, i don't have to focus on all the things that lead to us being in a relationship. i don't have to manifest him following me, or texting me, or asking me on a date. these things all just happen naturally bc im living in the end.
NOT TO MENTION, it naturally turns your sp into your perfect partner? like remember when i said when we were talking before he blocked me he was kinda dry and he'd just send memes that i didn't find funny? THIS DUDE DID A COMPLETE 180!!!
he's sooo funny, he is the OPPOSITE of dry, he is everything???? and im obsessed.
anyway he unblocked me and dmed me, and then asked for my number and we had such funny and cute convos and then boom 4 days later he asks me on a date and i say no (😭😭😭😭 i was busy) but i agreed to go on a date the next day and the way this boy showed pure unencumbered excitement 🥺 im obsessed
anyway im sorry this is so long? i really just wanted to share how all i did was apply what i've been preaching about on this blog for years and it worked out flawlessly! hopefully this gives you guys some good tips and maybe motivation? <3
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bvidzsoo · 6 months ago
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Love Me Like A Rockstar (9)
ー☆ Chapter 9: You (Show Me Where My Days Went)
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Author: bvidzsoo
Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader
ー☆ Warning: cursing ー☆ Word count: 9.8k ー☆ Genre: university!au, enemies to lovers!au, rockstar!au ー☆ Rating: sfw ー☆ Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?
A/N: Hi, lovelies!! LMLAR is BACK!! I am sooo happy I could finally update and just write, y'all have no idea! I am so sorry for making you wait so long for this update, but finishing my thesis was super important! I still have to study and such this month, but I promise next update won't take as long as this one did! (I'm writing other stories too while writing this one, so that kinda backfires sometimes lol) I am forever grateful that you are patient and stick around for the new chapters, this story is so dear to me you wouldn't even believe it. I am also super grateful and happy whenever you leave feedback, so please, keep on doing just that!<3 This chapter only exists because I was randomly inspired, and I'd like to apologize if it's a little rusty, I always have to get in "character" when I write this story lol. I am soo excited for next chapter, I think it's going to surprise you hehe. PLS PLS imagine that airport look from Mingi when reading this chapter, the pics from the moodboard, you'll see during which part! I also have a very small surprise at the end of this chapter hehe. I hope the time jumps aren't too confusing:(( Please, listen to the song called You before or while reading! Enough yapping, I hope you enjoy and leave feedback! (Taglist is always open for those interested! ^^)
Taglist: @orshii @or5i @lovely-red2 @scarfac3 @juicy-red @sunaswifes-blog @voicesinmyhead-rc @teez-the-time @maru-matt @kyeos4ng @deathbyyeekies @chicksmoothie @mjlbn01 @xhexy @tmtxtf @hwashiningstar @thatfavouritesong @ateez-atiny380
⟨Series M.list ↭ Previous Chapter⟩
♫Playlist♫
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Later that day
I hate him: hey…just checking in that I got home safely what are u up to?
I blinked, fingers tightening around my phone before I locked it, leaving the message on unread. My mother’s shuffling outside my door caught my attention, bringing a smile onto my lips as I watched her struggle while bringing all the dirty laundry to the bathroom. Then, I got off my bed to go help her.
Friday (11:30 am)
I hate him: i see u still haven’t checked my message… nothing too worrisome u certainly know how to make a man yearn for you lol that was a joke…dont freak out on me pls (lowkey true tho)
Friday (12:50 pm)
I hate him: lol, wooyoung has been bitching about seulgi’s professor for half an hour now mr. kwon u know him? i mean…i suppose he also teaches u i should take a sneaky video for u…wooyoung looks like a clown hanging upside down my bed and pouting like a damn child too (dont say im also one, thanks)
Friday (15:26 pm)
I hate him: well…ik my messages are going through so uh… why tf are u ignoring me???! *cries and dies in loneliness* entertain me dollll!!! im so bored pls oh…u said u had an important assignment…i bet u’re busy with that sorry for spamming u (text back tho when u’re done, im dying here…wooyoung is with seulgi and so is seonghwa with hongjoong…the single life sucks, bestie…lets be single and depressed together<3)
My jaw clenched as I heaved a long sigh, falling back on my bed as the sun shone brightly through my open window, the light breeze making me shiver as I only wore a t-shirt and sweats. Autumn was slowly turning into winter; the weather wasn’t so warm anymore. I threw another look at my phone, unlocked it, and stared at the received messages from Mingi for a second before finally deciding to delete them from my notification center, rolling over in bed to muffle a frustrated scream into my soft, and purple, pillow.
            Saturday (9:09 am)
I hate him: i had the weirdest dream and im not even sure i want to tell u about it LOL but uh…a grisly was chasing me??? and then u appeared on a fucking white horse like a prince LOL and threatened to like…slay it if it didnt leave me alone??? honestly…what a slay, bestie good morning, btw, doll hope u had a better night’s sleep than me (and dreamed of me ehehehe)
            Saturday (17:40 pm)
I hate him: i cant believe i allowed myself to be fooled like this back in highschool yuyu and i used to play baseball for shits and giggles and hongjoong (that rich prick) rented a whole ass baseball field for us for the afternoon and let us play with some of his (rich af) friends and uh… i think i wont be able to walk straight for another week with how much running i did… hongjoong kept scoring homeruns…i wish yuyu was here to kick his loser ass (dont tell hwa or hong i said that PLS) yo doll…everything’s alright with u? uh u…really havent answered me since… yk…i stayed over and waited for the rain to stop… have i done something wrong?
I sighed and put my phone on ‘do not disturb’, suddenly having lost all of my appetite as I forced the rest of the lettuce down my throat. My mother was sipping her kiwi and apple smoothie, eyes narrowed as she muttered to herself while trying to memorize the recipe of a dessert for later. Desserts were never her forte, unfortunately.
“Is it Seulgi?” She asked absentmindedly as I took a large gulp of my own smoothie, staring down at my salad, steak pushed to the side in my plate.
“Huh?” I asked distracted, eyes still glued to the dark screen of my phone.
“Texting you, your phone keeps buzzing, my starlight.” I rolled my eyes at the nickname, but didn’t bother to comment on it. I took a peek at my mother and her eyes were narrowed at me already, video on YouTube paused. Fuck, I had to answer her now or else she’d pester me all day long. And that would be a nightmare.
“Yeah, it’s Seulgi.” I lied, trying to make my voice sound convincing.
“Well, answer her then, don’t be rude.” My mother chastised me, pressing play on her video again, pursing her lips as she shook her head at whatever the man baking was saying.
“Later.” I whispered, biting my lower lip as my eyes remained glued to my phone, stomach clenching and heart dropping.
But I couldn’t.
            Sunday (1:01 am)
I hate him: …you’re ignoring me, arent u? im sorry, y/n, i dont know what i did wrong, but we can talk about it we’re friends, after all…right?
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『When you came along, I knew what was wrong
If you want to know exactly what I've missed』
            Monday (present time)
            It truly would have been a missed opportunity if Seulgi and I wouldn’t have grabbed coffee and went to sit in our usual spot in the back garden. The campus of our University was huge and that was perfect, because it meant people migrated and didn’t stay in one spot for long—at least long enough to irritate me to no end. Last week deemed to be rather rough, and I still didn’t feel like completely myself. To be honest, I thought about staying home today—and for the rest of the week—but I couldn’t afford missing any of my classes as exam period was slowly nearing, and so, I had to force my ass out of the house this morning before my mother could come and nag me about my weirdly unusual broody mood that has been going on for the past few days.
I hummed as I took a sip of my sweet coffee, enjoying the taste of warm caramel as Seulgi sighed loudly next to me, both hands cupped around her own coffee cup. The scent of cinnamon wafted from her cup and I scrunched up my nose, not too fond of the ingredient’s smell. Our classes started early in the morning today and we’d be here for at least four more hours, caffeine seemed like our only hope to stay awake and aware at this point. Given the fact that my baffling thoughts kept me up all night yesterday, I felt grateful that I was still on my feet at two o’clock at noon. As Seulgi fidgeted again, I chuckled and finally turned my head to look at her. She had a sheepish look on her face, and I tried not to laugh as I knew she was bursting to tell me all about her date with Wooyoung on Saturday.
“Well,” I started as I took a sip of my coffee, prolonging the suspense for her, “how did your date go?”
“It was amazing!” I had barely finished asking as Seulgi exclaimed, her cheeks turning rosy—and it wasn’t due to the cold air, “Wooyoung is—everything I thought he would be. He’s sweet and up for anything, he makes me laugh until I feel like passing out, and there’s just never a dull moment with him, you know?”
“One would expect that from him.” I muttered against my cup, laughing as Seulgi nudged my side, not looking too happy with my comment, “Oh, come on, it would be hard for Wooyoung to be different than the way he mostly presents himself; don’t you think?”
Seulgi grumbled something against her cup as she lightly bit into the carton, shooting me a pointed stare, “Well, yes, but…he makes me happy. Treats me well and all that, you know, he’s the perfect embodiment of what a boyfriend should be like.”
“Boyfriend, huh?” I teased with a smirk, wriggling my eyebrows at my best friend as her cheeks flushed an even darker color as she bit her lower lip, trying to mask the huge grin expanding on her lips. But as soon as I started giggling, Seulgi also broke out in a fit of giggles, hiding herself behind her wavy hair, pressing her cup of coffee against her face.
“God, I’m so down bad for him, Y/N, I don’t think you’d understand.” She mused, voice airy as she threw her head back, leaning back against the back of the bench. I chuckled and took another sip of my drink.
“Maybe I’d do.” I muttered, memories of my relationship with Yunho resurfacing. Thankfully, however, I managed to repress them as quickly as they came. They didn’t feel so gut-wrenching anymore, and to my surprise, didn’t leave a bitter taste in its wake either. What has changed? Certainly—certainly getting closer to his best friend didn’t influence the way I feel about Yunho, right? Right.
“So,” I glanced at Seulgi from the corner of my eyes as she swung her legs, looking down at her feet in the process, “how are you?”
“Fine, why?” I asked confused, angling my body to face Seulgi better.
“You’ve been…distant the whole weekend. I could barely reach you.” Seulgi’s voice sounded small and I gulped, feeling bad for making her worry about me, “You know…the last time you pulled away and disappeared, it was bad.”
“I promise you I am doing completely fine, Seulgi, you’d be the first person to know if I was in a bad headspace again, alright?” I reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing it reassuringly. Seulgi sighed and then raised her head to look at me, lips pulled into a thin line.
“Promise?”
“Of course, I promise.” I smiled at her warmly and she hummed in contentment, squeezing my hand back as she took a sip of her coffee. I followed suit before removing my hand from hers to fiddle with my half empty cup, “I’m just dealing with some things right now. I think I’m confused.”
“About what?” Seulgi asked curiously, leaning closer as I continued to avoid eye contact with her.
“I’ll tell you once I have my thoughts sorted about it.” I chuckled, making Seulgi roll her eyes in displeasure.
“You know, I tell you absolutely everything about myself and how I fell, and you always shut me out and tell me how you felt about a situation when it’s been over for years.” Seulgi pouted, narrowing her eyes at me, “How’s that fair, Y/N?”
“Hey, we work differently, don’t try to guilt trip me now.” I chuckled and took a sip of my coffee, making Seulgi roll her eyes, “Anyways, what did you do on your date with Wooyoung?”
“We went to the cinema,” Seulgi’s face lit up once again, grinning from ear to ear, “He bought me roses, a big bouquet. And after the movie we went for a walk and ended up stargazing in his cabriolet. It was really romantic.”
I smiled, feeling happy for my friend, she deserved someone like Wooyoung, “That actually sounds really amazing…and romantic.”
“Oh, my God, are you really Y/N? Where is my friend that hates anything that has to do with romance, cute stuff, and love?!” Seulgi’s shocked face was mocking and I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms in front of my chest as I leaned back against the back of the bench.
“I don’t hate it, I’m just not a huge fan of all of those things, okay?!” I shrugged, letting my arms fall from my chest as I pushed them inside my coat’s pockets.
“Who’s the culprit?” When I raised my eyebrows at Seulgi, a sign that I didn’t understand her question, she chuckled and leaned closer, “Who’s the man that’s changing your views on life, huh?”
“Man?” I asked with a scoff, giving Seulgi a deadpanned expression, “Does it always have to be about a man? Can’t it be just the fact that I had a change of mind?”
“Sure, because of someone.” Seulgi had a smug look on her face, acting as if she won the argument. But there was no argument here and she had no idea what she was talking about.
“Whatever—” But I got cut off as her phone dinged loudly. Seulgi, very comically, scrambled to reach for her phone and as she opened it up, a wide grin stretched onto her lips. It didn’t take two braincells to realize who had texted her, and thus, I chuckled and turned my head. I sipped my coffee, taking in my environment while Seulgi answered her boyfriend, giggling quietly every now and then.
The campus was finally silent and not as busy as it usually was in the early morning hours. The cold weather also helped in keeping the garden a little quieter as most people preferred to stay inside the warm corridors and classrooms. But the chilly air was good, it soothed my nerves and erased thoughts that weren’t productive. Similar to that, were the emotions that I didn’t want to deal with again, like the guilt that’s never left me ever since Mingi walked out of my house wearing Yunho’s old clothes. It felt wrong letting him take them without knowing the truth about them, but I didn’t feel ready to tell him yet about the truth. I was scared, surprisingly, of what he’d think of me once he found out about Yunho and I. I was scared that—he’d walk away, like Yunho had once done. And that was a very frightening thought. But when had I become so attached to Mingi? When has Mingi managed to infiltrate himself so thoroughly in my life, that the thought of completely losing him became scary? And why was I taking the past few days so badly? It’s not like we were as close as Seulgi and I, or him and Seonghwa and Wooyoung, yet, ignoring him felt like the wrong move to do. However, the reasoning I always circled back to was the fact that I needed space. I had to clear my mind, to find the purpose of this whole friendship that’s been blooming between us, and to make sense of everything. I had to figure out first why Yunho barely scraped my thoughts now, and why was it was Mingi who I found myself thinking of so often. In case you were wondering, no, I still haven’t found the reason, and it was becoming frustrating quite quickly. That near kiss was a—mistake. Yet, it could have been so much worse—it could have been a real kiss. And a real kiss would have ruined everything. I didn’t want to open up to anyone just yet, not when the memories of Yunho still haunted me in my dreams and drawings. Drawings that now more often than not consisted of Song Mingi.
And to my horror, the flipping of paper sheets is what alerted me back to my surroundings as I had been lost in my thoughts, oblivious to Seulgi putting her phone down and grabbing my sketchbook that lay between the two of us on the bench. As I turned my head, my eyes widened as Seulgi’s expression held surprise but amusement as well. She chuckled as she looked up, making eye contact with me. I lunged forward in an instant, trying to take my sketchbook out of her hands, but she leaned back and away, putting it behind herself.
“Bitch, I’m not the only one who’s down bad for a man.” She said with a laugh, making me groan as I gave up trying to snatch my sketchbook back from her.
“I’m not down bad for a man, Seulgi, stop this non-sense.” I hissed, cheeks burning in embarrassment as she kept flipping through my drawings.
“Please,” She scoffed, turning my sketchbook around and making me grimace as I came face to face with an exact replica of Mingi, sitting in his chair, at his studio that one time he invited me inside, “Who the fuck draws so many drawings of one single person if they aren’t in love with them—”
“I’m not in love with Mingi, stop it!” I exclaimed, heart beating fast as Seulgi raised her eyebrows at me, looking unimpressed, “Don’t ever again say that, Seulgi.”
“Okay, calm down, whatever. You’re not in love with Mingi.” She chuckled, closing my sketchbook but she didn’t hand it back yet, “But let’s face it, Y/N, you have a thing for Mingi. It’s super freaking obvious even without the drawings.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I hissed and finally snatched the sketchbook out of her hands, clutching it to my chest. I knew bringing this along today would turn out to be a mistake, and here I was, facing the repercussions of my actions.
“There’s this glint in your eyes whenever you look at him—”
“Yeah, it’s called dislike.” I scoffed, rolling my eyes.
“And I see how you struggle to refrain yourself from smiling when you’re around him—”
“Bitch, be for real, Mingi and I aren’t even often together around you for you to notice that.” I scoffed, completely appealed by whatever absurd claims my best friend was making.
“So you’re not denying it—would it really be so bad if you liked Mingi?” But Seulgi ignored all my interruption as she raised her eyebrows at me, smiling softly, “He’s a nice guy. Very well-mannered and with a big, and good heart. Wooyoung loves him a lot and is always worrying about him. He says Mingi hasn’t been the same ever since his best friend moved away for college—”
“Mingi is Yunho’s best friend!” I blurted out before I could stop myself, finally feeling like a stone was taken off my chest as I bit my lower lip, averting my eyes from Seulgi’s shocked expression, “Mingi is the best friend Yunho had always talked so much about while we were together. I—do you understand why it would be so bad if I ended up liking Mingi?”
“Y/N,” Seulgi whispered, eyebrows furrowed, “for how long have you know?”
“Long enough.” I muttered before clearing my throat, “So please understand that I’m not ready for whatever the hell me drawing all those sketches of Mingi could mean. A month ago I was close to bursting out crying even at the thought of Yunho, and now I fail to remember his existence on my best days.”
When I dared take a peek at Seulgi, she was smiling softly, almost proudly, “Fine, I’ll pester you about this later on, when you’ve figured things out, but until then—you can’t deny Mingi isn’t hot—”
“Can we stop talking about Min—”
“Hi, girls!” I jumped in fright at the overly excited and shrill greeting as both Seulgi and I turned our heads to be met with…Wooyoung and Mingi. Speak of the devil. Suddenly, there was a lump in my throat, and my heart started beating just a little bit faster as my eyes fell on Mingi’s tall form. It didn’t help that underneath his coat he was wearing Yunho’s sweater—the one I had given him.
“Hi.” Seulgi giggled as Wooyoung leaned down to press a kiss against her cheek, the two looking sickly in love. It was actually endearing, but I’d never admit it out loud for my own sake as I knew I’d get teased about it by Seulgi. I averted my eyes from Wooyoung and Seulgi as they were muttering things to each other, and so, had no choice but to look up at Mingi, who looked—expressionless. Something in my stomach dropped at his cold demeanor, and it was worse that I wanted to assume it was my fault that he looked like that. But just as I was about to look away, he cracked the tiniest smile ever, and I exhaled, licking my lips.
“Hi.” My voice was small as I gulped, eyes trans-fixated on the tall man as his smile became just a little wider. I don’t think I had the power to ignore him anymore, not when he was standing right in front of me, looking like he wished to be anywhere but here.
“Hi, Y/N.” Having not heard his voice in days, it sounded even deeper and raspier than usually, making butterflies erupt in my stomach as my grip tightened around my sketchbook. I felt a little awkward, perhaps even tense, as Mingi didn’t say anything else, just continued gazing down at me with his sharp dark brown eyes boring into my own. I had so many things that I could’ve said to him, but I felt tongue tied. I didn’t know what would be the right way to approach him after I ignored him for so many days. Would he understand? Is he mad at me now? Does he hate me now? Will he forgive me—
“Okay,” Wooyoung chuckled, syllable drawn out and sounding amused, “I feel like I’m interrupting something here, yet they are basically just staring at each other.”
“You’re right.” Seulgi giggled, and I finally looked away from Mingi, throwing a glare at my best friend as she had leaned into Wooyoung’s side, who stood next to the bench and her.
“Shush, you two.” Mingi beat me to telling the two love-birds off, and I couldn’t help but smile, “Don’t poke your nose where it doesn’t belong to.”
“Look who’s lecturing me about poking my nose where it doesn’t belong to—”
“Wooyoung.” Mingi’s tone held a warning, and it made Wooyoung giggle as he leaned down and pressed a fat kiss against Seulgi’s cheek—again—making her push him away playfully.
“We’re headed to class, are you coming over later?” Wooyoung smiled down at his girlfriend, playing with a strand of her hair.
“Maybe, if I get to finish my project.” Seulgi said with a pout and Wooyoung hummed, leaning down to press a kiss against her lips this time around. I averted my eyes, not a fan of seeing couples kiss, only to catch Mingi already looking at me. He was expressionless once again, but he was fidgeting with his fingers, looking almost nervous. And as Wooyoung stood up straight and ruffled Seulgi’s hair affectionately, Mingi took a deep breath.
“Will you come to Outlaw this Friday?” He asked in a rush, sounding almost reluctant as his eyebrows furrowed slightly and he chewed on his lower lip. To my horror, I found my eyes fixated on his plush mouth and I gulped before I quickly averted my eyes, praying that nobody caught it.
“Yes.” I answered before Seulgi could, and nodded, smiling a little bit, “I won’t miss it.”
A beautiful smile spread on Mingi’s lips and he nodded once, looking too happy for something so little. I don’t think I’ll understand anytime soon why he gets so excited and happy when I listen to his songs or watch him perform. I’m no expert when it comes to music, my feedback is merely amateur and I’m not even a fan of his band yet.
“Cool, see you then.” And Mingi didn’t wait for Wooyoung as he turned around and walked away, steps hurried. I didn’t miss the confused glance Wooyoung and Seulgi shared before Wooyoung was off, chasing after his best friend. And maybe I would be soon able to make sense of my thoughts and feelings around Mingi, figure out what they meant and why they felt so real at times.
            Monday (16:58 pm)
I hate him: hi Me: hi I hate him: would it be a lot if i asked to meet u tomorrow? Me: no, im free in the afternoon I hate him: cool, me too so uh…we can hang out in my studio? Me: or we can go to that new café with pottery I hate him: really? Me: u did say u wanted us to go… I hate him: i certainly said so i’ll pick u up around 4 Me: u don’t have to i’ll meet you there I hate him: come on, y/n…let me drive u Me: u’ve driven me around too many times by now i’ll meet u there and that’s final. I hate him: okay, boss, see ya there Me: :))
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            Getting here before four o’clock and having to wait in front of the cute café had no business being this nerve-wrecking. Yeah, Mingi hasn’t shown up yet—but perhaps that’s because there were still ten minutes until it’d be four—and I knew I had no reason to think he’d bail on me, but we hadn’t spoken since yesterday, when he had asked me if we could hang out. And so, waiting for him shouldn’t have had me breaking out in a sweat despite the cold weather, making me bite my lower lip harshly as I tried to smooth down the wool, green, brown, and beige patterned coat I was wearing. First of all, why the hell would I be so nervous about meeting up with Mingi alone at this cute café? He probably wanted to talk about that near kiss, and once we had that cleared, things would go back to normal—right?!
And maybe that was the reason which made me want to vomit on the sidewalk, the thought that I knew Mingi would demand answers—answers that I wasn’t yet ready to hand out. Why did I even agree to this? Because I missed him? I should have just stayed at home and done the project I’ve been procrastinating on—again. But when I heard the rumble of Mingi’s old Honda’s engine, I knew there was no turning back, catching the bus and running home to hide underneath my blanket.
As Mingi took his time to parallel park, I took a deep breath and gripped onto the strap of my tote bag harder, looking down at myself. My apricot orange sneakers matched the color of my blouse, the top two buttons out of five undone, but not showing too much skin. My blouse was tucked inside my washed out high waisted mom jeans, the black belt matching the color of my tote bag—I know black isn’t a color, I’m an arts major after all. My hair was pulled in a low ponytail just to prevent the wind from blowing it in my face, and I was thankful that I chose my wool coat as it kept me warm enough. I have opted to wear quite a few rings today, and because my neck felt too exposed, I decorated it with three necklaces of different length. I gulped hard one last time as Mingi got out of his car and took a few seconds until he managed to lock it. However, those few seconds were exactly what I needed to prepare myself to not pass out at the full sight of him.
Mingi, in true fashion to him, wore all black, except for his jeans that were a very dark shade of blue, almost black too. His turtleneck was tucked inside his jeans, a black coat with a hood keeping him warm from the cold late autumn weather. It almost made me smile upon seeing his own tote bag, black, and funnily matching mine. Except that his was plain, while mine had Claude Monet’s Water-Lily Pond painting painted on it, done by none other than yours truly, me. Mingi’s eyes were concealed by black sunglasses, and I snorted as he almost splashed himself up by stepping a little too enthusiastically into a big puddle. Two necklaces hung around his neck, reaching down his chest. A very obvious and sturdy silver cross necklace, and another longer chain that had pearls scarcely strung on it.  And in true Song Mingi fashion, his rings weren’t missing, only two of his nails painted black on each hand, almost as if he didn’t have time to finish doing them. My heart racing in my chest so fast just at the mere sight of him, certainly wasn’t healthy, right?
“Hi!” I squeaked out and wished to burry myself instantly as Mingi chuckled, a very charming smile spreading onto his lips. It was a little annoying that I couldn’t see his eyes, forced to stare at his plush lips instead—let’s be real, nobody forced me, I did it because I couldn’t help myself, “The sun is quite blinding today, isn’t it?”
And of course, in good old fashion, my mouth worked before my brain would agree to saying something out loud, and my cheeks were burning as I knew Mingi saw me look at his lips. I had to divert the attention somehow, and teasing him was my best method, actually. It always worked.  
“I’m trying to make a fashion statement,” Mingi grinned as he gripped the sunglasses and took them off in a very unnaturally hot way, “but hello to you too.”
“No need for a fashion statement when it’s just the two of us,” I narrowed my eyes, finding Mingi’s hair very soft and fluffy looking, almost as if he had recently washed it, and it wasn’t completely dry, “I’m not one of your fans.”
“Pity,” Mingi hummed, stepping slightly closer to me, “I thought I might just finally wove you.”
I scoffed, and as I was about to tell him off, he grabbed my tote bag and pulled me after himself, headed for the entrance of the café, “Did you have to wait long for me? Traffic was busier today, I had to take a few detours to get here in time.”
“Don’t worry,” I smiled as he opened the door for me and let me walk inside first, “I only waited half an hour for you to arrive, runway princess.”
“Runway princess?!” Mingi’s eyes bulged for a second before he started laughing loudly, making a few customers glance our way as we made it inside the café. I elbowed him in the stomach gently, not too keen of having people glare at us as he disturbed their peace.
“Don’t like the nickname?” I asked with a raised brow as we neared the front desk. The cashier had a friendly smile on her face while she greeted us as Mingi and I looked up at the menu, trying to decide what we’d like to have.
“Never said that,” Mingi answered with a chuckle as he threw me a quick glance, “it’s just surprising coming from you.”
“Why, can’t I call you a princess?” I chuckled, turning to face the cashier as I have made up my mind about what I’d like to have.
“Up until now you seemed to prefer the term ‘bro’, but I’m fine with whatever you decide on calling me, doll.” The look the cashier gave us made my cheeks flame up and I cleared my throat loudly, shooting Mingi a look that told him to shut up.
“Sorry about that,” I muttered embarrassed, smiling at the cashier, “can I get a strawberry cheesecake?”
“Sure, right away, and you, sir?” Her attention was on Mingi now, cheeks flushing the longer she looked at him. Okay, I could totally understand why. Mingi looked quite good right now, it was hard not to ogle him.
“A mint-chocolate cheesecake and a cappuccino?” Mingi hummed, eyebrows furrowed in thought as he looked down at the cashier.
“Plain cappuccino or with vanilla?” The cashier typed in our orders as she asked Mingi, averting her eyes shyly once he looked at her, pursing his lips.
“Plain,” He decided at last, turning to look at me, “are you not getting anything to drink?”
“An orange fresh will be alright.” I said as I reached inside my bag to fish around for my wallet.
“And would you also like to paint some pottery?” The cashier asked, pointing behind herself at all the displayed options. Mingi and I shared a look and I smiled as I nodded at him, making him grin from ear to ear.
“Yeah, we’ll paint some pottery too. Can I have a cup?” He asked, pointing at one on the higher shelf. It was a smaller cup, specifically made for drinking coffee. The cashier nodded and then looked at me expectantly.
“Uh, a mug will do for me.” I said and thanked her once she handed us the pottery and the paint that was used for painting these. Then, she tapped a few more on her tablet and told us the total. I opened my wallet to pay for my purchase, but Mingi had a card in his hands, the cashier already typing in the total sum for him to pay.
“Mingi,” I hissed quietly, looking at him with a frown, “what are you doing?”
“It was my idea to come here—”
“No, it wasn’t.” I cut him off, fingers curling into the scratchy fabric of his coat as I reached out to hold it, “I suggested we come here instead of going to your studio.”
Mingi sighed and pocketed his card, already having paid, then turned his body to face mine. I didn’t let go of his coat just yet, “Yeah, but when I drove you home during that downpour I asked you if you’d come here with me. So technically, it was my idea. Initially, anyways, it really was.”
“Mingi—” I started, but soon swallowed my words as he stepped closer, invading my personal space. My fingers tightened more into his coat and I gulped, suddenly feeling nervous due to our proximity. He faintly smelled of vanilla, it was a fragrance I didn’t except to smell on him.
“Can you not fight me on this one, please?” Mingi’s eyebrows slightly furrowed and his eyes softened up and I—struggled to breathe for a second as I stared up in his pleading eyes, mouth going dry. He looked—adorable like this, and I did not like the way I felt myself getting lost in his soft gaze.
“Let’s find a table.” I muttered, forcing myself out of the trance he placed on me, and grabbed my mug and the painting supplies. Mingi followed suit as he took his own cup and followed after me closely. We walked further inside the café and found a smaller table in the next room, closer towards the window. The walls were painted a faint orange and were decorated by white stripes that created abstract shapes. The chandeliers were white and hung low, the place well-lit for those who wished to paint pottery.
I placed the things in my hands on the table carefully, and then discarded my coat on the back of my chair and my tote bag by the leg of the table, pulling my chair out for myself. Mingi followed suit, however, he managed to almost send his cup tumbling to the floor when he took his seat. His eyes were wide as he just barely caught the cup, and I giggled as I watched him while opening the box that held all the paint. Thankfully, the table was spacious enough to harbor both our pottery and paints as the cashier brought out our delicacies. She threw Mingi a lasting look before she hurried back to the front desk, glancing our way at times.
“This is going to be a tough one.” Mingi said before scooping up a bit of his cheesecake with his little spoon.
“Why?” I asked with a chuckle, choosing a thin brush to start painting some flowers on my mug. My cheesecake could wait.
“Because I’m literally sat at a table with an arts major, having to decorate some cup by painting.” Mingi sounded stressed and I chuckled as I looked up at him, amused by his expression. His hair fell in his eyes a bit, and I found myself absentmindedly reaching over the table to brush it to the side. Almost as if realizing at the same time what I had done, we both froze. It felt like time stilled around us as I watched Mingi with a gaping mouth, slowly but surely, my cheeks becoming the color of a fire hydrant. But Mingi wasn’t better off as he bit his bottom lip, averting his eyes shyly as his cheeks turned the faint color of pink. Clearing my throat and accidentally choking as I hastily pulled my hand back, I averted my eyes and fought for my life to not choke. Thank God the orange juice was right there, I quickly took three large gulps.
“Th—thanks.” Mingi stuttered, staring at the table as he licked his lips, “Uh, it’s gotten long, my hair, I mean, I have to cut it when I get the time.”
“Yeah.” I nodded, grabbing my mug and chewing on my bottom lip in embarrassment—God, could the Earth swallow me up right now? Why the hell did I do that?! “Yeah.”
“Do you think I should change it up a little?” I paused as I had dipped my brush in red paint, and slowly looked up at Mingi, “Do something fun with it—like going blonde?”
“I hate blonde hair.” I blurted out before I could stop myself. Nice one, idiot. Yunho was blonde while we were together, and thus, yeah, I’ve hated blondes ever since. And to be fair—and this is not me shitting on my ex—but that hair color did not suit Yunho at all.
“Oh, noted.” Mingi whispered, pouting a little. I sighed and looked up at the ceiling, hating myself for the weird atmosphere I have created.
“Mingi, you can do whatever you want with your hair.” I spoke up, leaning down to try and look him in the eyes as he was busy staring at the table, “My opinion shouldn’t matter. It’s your hair. Go crazy with it, have fun, try out something new. Really.”
“But do you think it would suit me?” Mingi was still pouting as he finally looked up at me, looking quite crestfallen. My eyebrows furrowed and I tried to imagine him with blonde hair. He was quite blessed with his skin complex as most colors looked good on him, but perhaps I preferred Mingi with dark hair—black hair, more specifically. Like he had it right now. He looked—good. Handsome, even. Completely gorgeous. Fuck.
“I think it would suit you.” I settled on saying that. He didn’t have to know my train of thought, like at all. Mingi hummed in appreciation, and I watched as he reached inside his tote bag, pulling out a case that held his glasses. He took it out of the case and put it on, pushing it up on the bridge of his nose. He grinned when he looked at me and I chuckled, shaking my head as I looked down at my mug, finally starting to decorate it.
“There goes the cool, mysterious, hot celebrity act.” I teased under my breath, not expecting Mingi to hear me. But he did, and he started laughing, giving me a cheeky grin.
“Not quite a celebrity yet, but at least you admit I am hot.” Of course he was smirking as I gave him a deadpanned look, about to argue him on his statement, but he didn’t let me as he continued talking, “By the way, let’s exchange our cups when we are done. The mug will be mine and the cup will be yours.”
I tried to fight the smile off my lips, “So that you get the artwork of a talented artist for free to sell for an outrageous price later on when I’m famous?”
“I fear you have misjudged my character, doll.” Mingi’s eyes narrowed playfully, but there was truth to his words. I might just have misjudged his character.
“I still think you’re arrogant and selfish.”
“Of course you do, didn’t except anything less from you.” Mingi winked and then looked down, his cheesecake forgotten as he started decorating his cup, tongue just barely sticking out as he concentrated hard on whatever he had in mind to paint onto the cup. I chuckled and shook my head before focusing on my own mug, the silence that’s settle around us comfortable, as always.
            Mingi and I were the quietest table in the café as we worked in silence diligently in, painting our own pottery. Mingi, at times, would hum along quietly to the songs that were played on the radio. Despite his cup being smaller and easier to paint, I finished painting mine before him, and so, I took the time to savor my cheesecake even if it had gotten warm and a little too soft. Mingi was hunched over in his seat, glasses low on the bridge of his long nose, with his full lips either pursed or with the bottom one bitten as his eyebrows would furrow every time he almost made a mistake. It was a funny sight, and I grabbed my phone without thinking much, and snapped a few pictures of him, leaning lower and even closer to his face to get the funny angles, all while Mingi remained oblivious to it. I chuckled as I looked at the pictures I had taken of him, looking at him when I felt eyes on me.
“What’s so funny?” He asked curiously, eyeing my phone for a second.
“You.” I chuckled and stuck my tongue out as Mingi rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair as he heaved a long sigh.
“I’m finally done.” He grinned and I looked down at his cup, taking in the yellow chicks he had painted quite—clumsily. Well, not all of us had the skills of a painter—not that it was an issue or anything—it’s just that it’s been long since I had seen someone have the skills of a—kindergartner, “It’s pretty sick, huh?”
I bit my lower lip to stop myself from giggling and nodded with my eyebrows furrowed, “I’d give it a seventy out of a hundred mark.”
“Hey! That’s too low!” Mingi said, looking offended. I chuckled before shrugging.
“You’ll have to work on your skills for a higher mark.”
“Fine, next time you come to the studio, I’ll make you sing.” Mingi raised his eyebrows, making me narrow my eyes at him playfully.
“Oh, I didn’t know we are in a competition.”
“We weren’t, until now.” He winked and then stood, grabbing my mug and his own cup carefully as he took it to the front desk for drying. I gathered the items we had used to paint the pottery with to place them back in the box, and couldn’t help it but sneak a glance at Mingi. He was leaned up against the front counter, grinning widely at the cashier as she spoke to him, using her hands for big gestures as she was probably explaining something. My eyes narrowed as Mingi leaned slightly closer to her, only to detach himself from the front desk and walk back towards our table. I looked away and busied myself with my glass of orange juice.
“So, we’ll get them delivered to our houses once they are dry and all.” He said with a smile, sitting down, “I hope you don’t mind I gave her your address too.”
“I don’t.” I muttered, chewing on the straw for a second, “I didn’t think you’d know my address.”
“Well,” Mingi flattened his hands on the surface of the table, “I’ve been to your house twice now. I think it’s only right I remember your address, doll.”
“Right,” I muttered, “you’ve been to my house.”
Mingi’s eyebrows furrowed, and I figured he didn’t like the tone of my voice. But before I could correct myself and explain that I had nothing against that, he spoke up, “Y/N, I—I didn’t mean to scare you or—I don’t know—make you think that I want anything from you. I mean—we are friends, and I respect you as a woman and as a friend, and I know we almost—kissed. But I—I don’t want you to think that I’m playing some sort of game with you to get—to get in your pants. I’m your friend. And even if I wasn’t, I still wouldn’t do that to you.”
Hearing him say all that felt wrong. I didn’t deserve any explanation from him. I was the one that’s overreacted that day, and Mingi was the one that deserved an explanation and apology from me for the way I have acted. I knew I couldn’t completely open up to him right now, that some parts of the truth had to be omitted today, but he also deserved to know why I had pulled back. And I wanted him to understand that it wasn’t his fault for the way I reacted to everything.
“Mingi,” I offered him a small smile and gripped my empty glass for some support, “If you think you are the reason why I ignored you, please, stop thinking that. It’s—we both leaned in, okay? We were both about to kiss each other, it’s not like you initiated it or forced me to do something I didn’t want to. And nothing even happened, for God’s sake. I reacted that way because I—”
When I paused, Mingi’s eyebrows furrowed, and he leaned over the table, gently poking my hand with his ring clad fore-finger, “You don’t have to tell me anything if you’re not comfortable sharing it, Y/N.”
“But I want you to know this, Mingi.” I averted my eyes and took a deep breath, embracing myself for what I was about to tell him, “I had a boyfriend back in high-school who completely broke my heart, shattered it into pieces. And I know that happened a long time ago, and yes, I am over him, but I—I am scared people will treat me like he had treated me. I’m scared that if I let you close, you’ll just—leave. Like he did. And I know ignoring you for days was very shitty of me and I shouldn’t have done that—because quite frankly, Mingi, you deserve better—I just didn’t know what to do. I needed a few days to myself, to figure things out. It’s a bad excuse, but it’s the truth, and I think you deserve to know it. Since we are friends.”
Mingi’s face conveyed no emotion for a few seconds and I gulped, feeling nervous all of a sudden. Did he figure it out now? That I was talking about Yunho? That maybe I have started feeling something for him too, for Mingi? Would he stand up and leave? But to my surprise, a wide smile stretched onto his lips and he hummed, adjusting his glasses on his nose.
“Thank you for trusting me, it means a lot that you told me all that.” I bit my bottom lip, looking down at the table abashedly, “And I was never mad at you for ignoring me. I completely understand you, Y/N, and for the record, I have zero intentions of leaving you. And your ex is a fucking asshole for breaking your heart like that, tell me who he is and I’ll beat him up when I cross paths with him.”
There was nothing funny about what Mingi had said, especially since he was talking about his best friend, but the comically tough look on his face made me snort loudly as I shielded my mouth with my hand, trying to stop myself from laughing too loudly. Mingi started grinning like an idiot, his giggles deep, and making something coil in my stomach. When has Song Mingi become adorable instead of annoying?
“I doubt you’d want to kick his ass once you find out who he is…” I grimaced once that was out of my mouth, regretting it instantly. What was it about today that I couldn’t keep my thoughts and mouth in check? It was turning really frustrating.
“So, you plan on telling me one day?” Mingi wriggled his eyebrows, making me snort, “Like real besties gossiping and shit.”
“You never fail to make me cringe when you call us besties, Mingi.” I shook my head, taking a glance at my wrist watch. Oh, the time had flown away, it was well past five now, and the sun was going down. I’d probably have to head home soon to have dinner with my mother. I was becoming hungry too.
“Well, that’s what we are so…” He cleared his throat before slowly standing up, making me look up at him, “Did you know today we’re celebrating the Festival of Light?”
“Nope, I had no idea.” I shook my head, standing up too as Mingi wore his coat, “I don’t follow the events our city organizes.”
“Pity, it’s really pretty.” Mingi pouted, waiting for me as I grabbed my tote bag and pocketed my phone, “Should we check it out?”
“I mean…maybe?” I shrugged and Mingi beckoned me over as he crossed his arm with mine, making me chuckle as I looked up at him. He wasn’t much taller than me, but his sneakers had a thick sole and they made him even taller, “Where is this festival held at?”
“Just down the street, at the Citadel.” Mingi smiled as he led the way out of the café, waving at the barista as she blushed again, making me chuckle as I subconsciously nuzzled up against Mingi’s side, the air chilly as the sun had set by now.
“That barista totally has a crush on you.” I found myself saying as we walked down the sidewalk, trying to avoid crashing into the people that came towards us. Yeah, there certainly was an event on-going in the city, otherwise you wouldn’t see so many people out and about around this time. Everyone preferred staying inside after the sun had set, not keen of the cold nights.
“You think so?” Mingi mused, bottom lip jutting out as he narrowly avoided a child that was running around, “I didn’t notice.”
“You must be really dense then.” I snorted, eyebrows furrowing as I looked up at him, “She was constantly blushing, and she was totally looking at you with hearts in her eyes.”
“How do you know when someone is looking at you with heart eyes?” Mingi’s question threw me off, and I detached myself from his side, clearing my throat as I looked ahead, pushing my hands in my pockets. He was warm, it made me realize as the cold bit at my skin now that I wasn’t nuzzled up by his side anymore.
“Well, they have this look in their eyes, you know? It’s warm, and soft, and it lasts.” I explained, feelings my cheeks heat up, “And their eyes always linger on you when you aren’t watching them. It’s like…puppy eyes, I suppose? I wouldn’t actually know, Mingi, nobody’s ever looked at me like that.”
When there was no response, I looked back to find Mingi looking at me intensely. My eyebrows furrowed as we have arrived to the Citadel, the gates open for the visitors of the festival. The place was packed, this wouldn’t be so fun anymore. I would’ve turned around and walked back home if I didn’t see how excited Mingi was when I agreed to come check it out.
“There’s lots of people here.” Mingi muttered, and then walked closer to me as I led the way inside, a little baffled by his reaction to my answer. I just merely gave an answer based on my beliefs. It was him that was acting weird now. But as I looked at him, I could see it in his eyes that he didn’t want to talk about this topic anymore, that he wanted us to drop the subject. His last comment was a way to veer the conversation in a different direction. What was it about us today making everything weird? I sighed and just walked further inside, trying to avoid the big crowd which seemed almost impossible as it stretched on and on. The Citadel, however, was beautiful as it was coated in darkness, only the little paper lamps and fairy lights illuminating the place. It had a certain aura to it, almost romantic, and I soon found myself smiling as we walked down the cobblestone path, still trying to avoid people and stick close to each other’s sides. The air was chilly but the walls of the Citadel did a great job at keeping the breeze out, and the crowd certainly kept the place warmer than it was outside the stone walls.
I found myself admiring the décor in wonder, my mouth hanging open as I took in all the little lamps placed down on the ground, following the cobblestone paths, illuminating our way. It was truly beautiful, it almost felt like the scene was taken out of a fairytale. I found myself filled with excitement and happiness as I turned to grin at Mingi.
“This is so beautiful!” I giggled, absentmindedly grabbing the sleeve of his coat and dragging him away from the path and into the dying grass as there was a panel covered with paper, and people were writing on it. Mingi remained silent, but as I searched around for a pen or pencil, I felt him watching me, “What, do you not want to write something?”
“If you manage to find a marker or pen, I will, sure.” He said with a shrug, adjusting the strap of his tote bag before he pushed his hands deep in his pockets. I chuckled and looked around for a marker, but it was hard to see it in the darkness whether they were laying around in the grass or not. To my surprise, a little girl standing next to me looked up at me with a small smile on her lips, and offered me her purple-coloured marker, saying she was done with her drawing. I thanked her with a chuckle and turned to face Mingi with a grin.
“I found one!” Mingi chuckled and took the marker from my hands, being able to reach high up where the paper was still empty, due to his height. The panel was illuminated from the inside so you could actually see what was written on the paper. I watched him as he wrote on the paper, hesitating for a second, before he stepped back and handed me the marker. I raised up on my tip toes curiously, and craned my neck to see what he’s written. ‘The moon is beautiful tonight.’
I felt a smile spread onto my lips as I looked back at Mingi, who’s expression was serious and almost sad-looking as he adjusted his glasses on the bridge of his tall nose. I craned my neck back once more to gaze at the dark sky, at the moon, and indeed, there she was, beautiful and shining brightly. It was a new moon. Taking a swift glance at Mingi, I raised back on my tip toes and stood close to the panel, reaching up, just underneath Mingi’s writing. Thankfully, I could reach just bellow it, and I grinned as I quickly drew a new moon, adding a little shading to it and dents as well, creating the illusion of a real moon. Mingi remained silent as I took a step back, admiring our work. I handed the marker to another child as I fished my phone out of my pocket and snapped a picture quickly of our artwork.
“The moon turned out beautifully.” Mingi commented once we had stepped away from the panel to let others draw too, headed back onto the cobblestone path.
“Still, it’s not as beautiful as the real one, but I tried my best.” I chuckled as I crossed my arms in front of my chest for a second, avoiding a man as he wasn’t looking in front of himself as he raced down the path. Mingi threw him a displeased look before looking down at me.
“Your drawings and paintings are always beautiful, Y/N.” Mingi said and I found myself blushing, thankful that it was so dark he wouldn’t be able to see it. I uncrossed my arms and turned my body a little to face him. There was music coming from one path, the one which led to the southern part of the Citadel.
“Are you nervous about Friday?” I found myself asking him as Mingi veered us towards where the music was coming from. He looked at me for a second, and then shook his head.
“I’m rarely nervous when we have to perform.” He said nonchalantly, the back of his hand brushing lightly against mine. My heart did a somersault against my ribcage, but I ignored it.
“Oh, you’re such a cool guy.” I teased him with narrowed eyes, making Mingi chuckle.
“I rarely get nervous, to be honest, even less when it comes to performing.” He hummed, looking up at the dark sky for a second, “I trust myself and my bandmates that everything will go well, so, there’s no actual reason to feel nervous.”
“But I’ll be there on Friday, that still doesn’t make you feel nervous?” My question was meant to be teasing, part of our playful banter, but the way Mingi gulped and quickly averted his eyes told me that perhaps I hit the nail spot-on. Well, now I have turned things awkward again. I sighed loudly, chewing on my bottom lip as Mingi remained silent, the two of us walking down the narrow path as the music became louder as we were nearing the stage. Jazz music was playing, the lady who was singing had a powerful and smooth voice that carried over the crowd neatly. There were a few people dancing in the crowd.
“Perhaps having you there will make me nervous.” Mingi’s voice was barely above a whisper and I tensed when I felt his pinkie brush against my own, making me clench my hand into a fist. But a very quiet voice inside my head demanded me to accept Mingi’s subtle request, and willing my heart to stop hammering so hard in my chest, I relaxed my hand and slowly slipped it into Mingi’s. If he stopped walking for a milli-second, I didn’t say anything about it, and he also ignored it. His grip turned firm as he intertwined our fingers together, gently pulling me closer into his side as he smiled at a mother who apologised for his son almost running into us.
I gulped and kept my eyes ahead of me, too nervous to look at Mingi. Holding his hand like this meant nothing in particular, but it was a nice feeling. It made my cheeks warms and heart race. And I didn’t have to look at Mingi to know he was smiling like crazy, his cheeks just as red as mine as we came to a stop behind the dancing people.
Have I started falling for Song Mingi?
『It's you, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
I'm just saying it's you, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
You, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
You're what I've been chasing
Show me where my days went』
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❱❱ Next chapter
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so...the festival of light scene was totally inspired by me and my bestie attending it in our city lol; it was sooo beautiful and the pictures in the moodboard were actually taken by us; also, her and I kept laughing about the romantic vibes we were getting, all in all, we had a nice time...and OFC we make everything about Ateez so :))
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I wrote that LOL I'm like Mingi, tall enough to reach the top where people haven't scribbled onto yet lol
also, this is what y/n's outfit looks like for anyone wondering, except for the colors as they are the way I have described them in the scene ^^
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cyxnidx · 1 year ago
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LET ME ADORN YOU !
character: pantalone
genre: smut
warnings: body worship, that one thing where people compare you to a god..? i cant remember what its called ims orru
a/n: i adore the idea of Pantalone adoring us like omfgsjdhehhe (its been a long day so any mistakes pleass ignkre, i may or may not be borderline drunk rn)
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"oh, dear." you heard your husbands voice, his tone breathy as you felt his gloved hands glide across your body. "i'd like to touch you, but.." he sighed, eyes meeting yours. "i feel even that would be a sin."
his eyes trail down your body once again. "i've done a lot in my lifetime, all without a second thought, or even no thought at all. however, when it comes to you.." he trails off. "..you; you make me want to stop for a moment. to contemplate my current decision - any next decision concerning you."
pantalone admired you deeply. not only for the fact that you were one of the few to catch his genuine attention, or to even make him stop for a moment, to stop his world from spinning, but also because your body mesmerized him.
almost to the point of obsession.
"i feel a bit odd saying this, almost like it's something dottore would say, but.." he paused for a moment. "..i feel it'd be only right of me to ask permission. to purify myself before doing such a thing - i feel it'd be necessary." he states. "i feel that even my gloves shouldn't be able to touch such a delicate surface such as your skin."
you bring your hands to his face, kissing his forehead softly. moving from his face and down to his hands, you removed his gloves and place his now bare hands ontop of you. "there's not a need for such a thing."
a smile began to etch itself onto pantalones face. a smile you recognized, yet still so vague you couldn't determine the true meaning behind it - was he manic, or was he mad?
"so divine.." he runs his cold hands along your side, kissing your forehead softly. "..such a blessing, you are." he moves down to your cheeks, jawline and collarbone whilst his hands mess with the hems of your waist band of your bottoms.
lightly, he grabs at your thighs, waist and hips. he moves to kiss what seems to be every inch of skin in the surrounding areas. "god, i love you." he'd mumble against your skin. "i adore you.. i adorn every inch of skin on your body, i have a desire to relish in your presence forever, for as long as my heart beats."
occasionally biting, he'd move to your chest and lick at your nipples for a moment before continuing his small kisses against your plush skin. "so perfect, so delicious.." he kisses your lips, eyes fluttering closed as he does so.
"a god must've sculpted you.." he tells you, moving toward your ears, whispering in a honey smooth voice. "and instead of being a bit selfish with you, unlike myself, he decided to gift me with you." he nibbles on the cartilage lightly. "..and i'm glad he did."
his fingers diligently pull your bottoms down all together while his lips dance with yours, a groan coming from his mouth when he feels even more of your warmth that was hidden under your clothes.
"goodness, darling." he almost pouts. "tell me, why haven't i began taking your clothes off quicker.."
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choccy-milky · 3 months ago
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A few months back, I asked if it was okay to write using Clora and Seb. Finished the work - thought I'd lost it on my hard drive and a virus scan located it.
Not sure if it's sad or happy, but the basic premise of it is Clora getting frustrated/upset at Sebastian and Sebastian comforting her, Sebastian getting upset at a predicament Clora's in and Clora comforting him, and them both getting frustrated/upset and having to comfort each other.
If you'd rather I didn't post it, that's fine too, but just wanted to test the waters and double check that you'd be okay with it if I gifted it to you via AO3, or see if you wanted a sneak peak of it before posting it.
OMG im so happy you were able to find it and recover the work you did!!😭🙏 AND YES OF COURSE YOU CAN POST IT AAA I CANT WAIT TO READ IT!! you can DM it to me first if you want, but i also dont mind if you post it straight away on ao3!! IM LOOKING FORWARD TO IT SM AAARGHHHA💖💖💖IT SOUNDS ANGSTY WE LOVE THE HURT/COMFORT I HOPE MY HEART CAN HANDLE IT🥺💖💖TY AGAIN FOR USING CLORA AND SEB AND TAKING THE TIME TO WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT THEM😭
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@sunshine-goblin AAA THANK YOU!!! im honoured its your fav fanfic AND ALSO THE LONGEST YOUVE READ BAHAHAA fr, when you say its as long as four books in lotr it rly makes me realize how insane i am😃👍 aw IM GLAD I COULD INSPIRE YOU TO DRAW MORE AND WRITE AS WELL😭 I was curious so i creeped you and everyone go look at their HL blog @sunshines-legacy your MC is so cute and so is your art🥹💖 as for tips on writing a longfic and brainstorming and motivation and stuff, my motivation was my brainrot and unhappiness with the canon story/ending LMAOO, and looking at the story of the game and playing around with what i was unhappy with/what i WISHED could have happened instead, was a lot easier than just coming up with plotlines from scratch. but something i highly recommend is just OUTLINING and making a timeline, one of my fav parts of writing was just putting on some cafe ambience in the background and doing stream of conscious type word documents where id just barf ideas and then worry about making it pretty later....like look at how many versions of the same chapter i have BAHAHA or like different renditions bc i couldnt decide if id wanna keep a scene/what order, so id make a timeline and keep smoothing things out until i was happy with it and whatnot
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brainstorming is defs my fav part of the process and the most helpful part to me. just getting a blank document and writing stuff you want to happen without worrying about how it connects to the story, and then a lot of the times as i was doing that id just keep going and it would kinda tie itself together/id come up with a solution as i was writing / once the ideas kept flowing. so basically : TIMELINES AND OUTLINES I VERY MUCH RECOMMEND, but very low pressure and barebones ones. for example, this is what my outlines/brainstorming look like
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its honestly just me talking to myself LMAO, and a lot of the time ill interject and be like "OH YEAH AND THEN THIS CAN HAPPEN" as the ideas come while im writing BAHAHA. its a super fun process and honestly nothing feels better than just getting hit with that flash of inspo, and since its all very low effort theres no pressure to actually write well and its just a chill fun time AND GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR OWN PROCESS / WRITING💖💖💖it can be difficult but HOPE U HAVE FUN TOO💖💖
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@a-little-lysdexic WAIT REALLY?? LMFAOO OMG THATS CRAZY....SAME BRAIN...🤝🤝...that would trip me up so much if i were you omg BAHHAHA but aside from having similar tastes in names, IM GLAD YOU LIKE MY ART AS WELL, TYY💖💖💖
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THANK YOUUU im glad you're liking it!!! and that its taking over your life BAHAHA💖💖 the video you're thinking of was by @silverxstardust for chapter 13 of my fic, and you can watch the video here! (AND TY AGAIN TO SILVERXSTARDUST FOR DOING THIS!)
youtube
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joeys-babe · 1 year ago
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Joey B Imagines: #6 and #9
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————————————————————————-
summary: despite your love for joe, you absolutely detested his fashion sense. you and him take up a little bet and if you win you could pick out one of his game day fits.
warnings: none, fluff
pairing: joe burrow x reader
imagine universe: into the mystic
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(y/n’s pov)
"joe. i love you more than anything, but i'm not letting you wear that in public." - you
"what?! i was expecting you to say something along the lines of 'oh god joe, you'll look so sexy in that. i can't believe you're my husband.’" - joe
after the twins were asleep joe and i would usually savor our alone time because with 2 toddlers, it doesn't happen often. we'd either cuddle up on the couch and watch a show, or lay in bed and just talk. 
currently we were sitting on the couch, joe was online shopping for game day fits and i was texting my dad. i wasn't really paying attention to what joe was looking at until out of the corner of my eye i saw one of the most atrocious suits i had ever seen.
"baby... i'm so sorry but i'm not letting you wear that." - you
"why?" - joe frowned
"joe, do you actually like that?" - you
"yes." - joe
"it's a little much, babe.." - you
"i get it. you'll be embarrassed of me." - joe
"what? no of course not. joe i'm never embarrassed of you-" - you
"you know people will say stuff about it so you don't want me to wear it knowing you'll be embarrassed of me." - joe
"are you kidding me? do you literally hear yourself? if this is the kind of mood you're in i'm going to bed." - you stood up from the couch
"y/n wait.." - joe sighed
i pretended that i didn't hear him and kept walking towards the stairs.
"baby!" - joe
when he noticed that i wasn't going to stop i heard him mumble a silent "fuck" out of defeat.
he knew he shouldn't think of me like that. joe knew that i'd never be embarrassed of him no matter how colorful and outgoing some of his game day fits were.
once i was upstairs i brushed my teeth and then slipped into bed. it wasn't long after that when i heard joes unmistakable footsteps in the hallway.
i heard him shuffling around the room; probably changing out of his clothes since he just slept in boxers. soon after, the bed dipped and i felt his arms wrap around my waist.
"baby?" - joe whispered
since i was facing away from him i thought i'd be able to hide the fact that i wasn't actually sleeping.
"i know you aren't asleep, honey." - joe whispered again
all i did was nudge his arms off, to which he let out a defeated sigh.
"please don't be upset with me, i don't want to argue.." - joe
i rolled over to face him, and as soon as i did he knew he was going to get a talking to.
"do you know how much it hurts when your partner questions if your embarrassed of them? it makes me question how i’ve been as a wife." - you
"i'm sorry.." - joe
"joe you should know better. i've never and will never be embarrassed of you. i'm so proud to be your wife, even if you have questionable fashion sense." - you reached forward and rubbed his cheek
"i know you are. i was just kind of annoyed in the moment. if you don't think i should wear it i won't, do you have any outfit ideas you'd like me to wear?" - joe smiled when he asked the last part
"how about a cowboy hat, some nice boot cut jeans partnered with boots, and a fitted white shirt." - you
"anything but that." - joe
"please, joey?" - you
"nope im not doing it." - joe
"how about we do a bet. if you win you can wear that suit you wanted, but if i win then you have to wear my suggestion." - you
"okay, i like how you talk, burrow. what kinda bet are you thinking?" - joe smirked
"how about we do a scrimmage at the practice fields?" - you
"like a football scrimmage?" - joe chuckled
"yeah." - you
"sweetheart that's like an automatic win for me, i'm a professional." - joe
"i'm better than you think, j" - you
"we'll see about that.." - joe
*a week later*
"okay so i asked zac if we could have a scrimmage and he agreed. it's gonna be in 3 days, after practice that day." - joe
"okay sounds good, am i gonna get my own jersey?" - you
"cant you just use one of mine? it's already got your last name on the back." - joe grinned
"i'd prefer to have my own, i think itd be less confusing for the team if i had a different number." - you
"okay fine. i'll get you a jersey, do you want a specific number?" - joe
"nope you can pick, just not 9." - you
"okay sounds good." - joe smirked to himself as he got his phone out to pull some strings and get you a jersey
the day of the scrimmage i walked over to the practice fields 15 minutes before practice ended.
joe wasn't doing a drill at that time and immediately spotted me.
"hey beautiful!" - joe walked over and kissed you
"flirting with the competition?" - you
"that's what happens when the competition is my gorgeous wife- oh also i have your jersey." - joe
"where is it at? i was thinking about changing early." - you
"my locker. it shouldn't be too hard to find, it's the only jersey that doesn't have a 9 on it." - joe
"what number did you pick?" - you
"you'll see when you get it." - joe smiled
"cmon babe, tell me!" - you
"nah- oh i think coach needs me." - joe
"i didnt hear him call for you?" - you
"is that a whistle i hear?" - joe jogged away
"you're so stupid!" - you grinned as you watched joe run away
i made my way over to the locker room and over to joes little corner. after digging through his messy ass locker that i've been begging for him to clean for days, i found my jersey. it was pretty easy to find since it was significantly smaller than the rest of the ones hanging up.
"burrow, #6" is what the jersey read.
i wouldn't find out till later the reasoning behind why joe chose the number but in the meantime i thought it was because it was an upside down 9.
after i changed and put my hair into a ponytail, i walked back over to the practice fields. the team has just gotten done with their final huddle so was able to talk to joe before he became my opponent.
before the game started i told some of the players on my team what the bet was so they made sure to play their best.
joe naturally was quarterback for his team, and i was qb for mine. joe wouldn't admit it during the game but he was actually surprised with my throwing skills.
long story short; my team ended up winning.
i'm not even gonna lie, i was definitely surprised that i won.
even after losing, joe congratulated me with a smile on his face.
"good game, burrow." - joe smiled and stuck his hand out
"good game, burrow." - you smiled back and took his hand shaking it for a second and then pulling him into a hug
later on after all the guys had showered, everyone was walking back to their cars. joe and i held hands as we followed behind the other guys. all of a sudden i had the urge to ask him the question i had been asking myself ever since i got my jersey.
"why'd you pick 6?" - you
joe shrugged with a slight smile on his face but some of the other guys just laughed to themselves.
"what?" - you looked into the direction of tee and jamarr who were dying laughing
they didn't say anything back to me, instead ja'marr whispered something to joe mixon. i'm guessing explaining why joe picked the number that he did.
"that's pretty funny burrow!" - joe mixon
"anyone care to explain it to me?" - you
"y/n why do you think joe made you stand on his left when a photographer got a picture of your backs?" - tee laughed
"i'm confused.." - you
joe stopped walking and pulled his phone out, he pulled up the picture tee was referring too and zoomed in on our numbers.
"6...9..69?! joseph lee!" - you shoved his shoulder as him and the rest of the guys laughed
"that's so immature!" - you
"it's so funny though!" - joe chuckled
"oh my god." - you rolled your eyes
"cmon, you know it's funny y/n." - tee
"whatever." - you rolled your eyes and tried your hardest not to laugh
joe slipped an arm around my waist and pulled me into him more.
"i love you" - joe
"i love you too, but i think for now on i'm gonna leave the football to you. i need a hot bath after that." - you
"sounds good to me." - joe smiled
"EW. i'm out. goodnight guys." - ja'marr
"i think you guys are cute, but i'm out too." - tee
"y'all have a good night. tell the twins that uncle tee loves them." - ja’marr
"we will. remember you're always welcome to come over and have a play date with them." - you
"i appreciate it, bye guys." - tee walked away
"bye tee!” - you
"see ya higgins!" - joe
on our way home i ordered joe’s cowboy game day outfit even though he complained the whole time.
"you're gonna look so handsome." - you
"oh whatever." - joe
"you are!" - you
"i think i'd look straight up sexy in the outfit that i wanted to get." - joe
"absolutely not." - you
"you're missing out, baby." - joe smiled
"oh my lord, just shush it and drive" - you
joe laughed before turning up the radio and putting his hand in my lap, lacing his fingers with mine.
"i love you." - you rubbed the back of his hand with your thumb
"i love you too." - joe
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authors note: fic to wrap up today’s win!!!
hope you enjoyed! ❤️❤️
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alesbianperson · 1 year ago
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bully!ellie williams x fem!reader pt. 2
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summary: Ever since that project that you both worked on, shes been unreasonably mean to you and you have no idea why.
warnings: light smut (or rather just a light make out); some swearwords; very short
authors note: not proofread!; this is honestly the first time i attemted to write anything sexual so please forgive me if this is absolute shit; also sorry part 2 was taking so long, im losing motivation really quickly
part 1
--☆--
"You.. heard all that?"
You just nod quietly, your heart pumping inside your chest. Silence fell over the room, leaving you both in awkward tension. Your mind raced as you tried to say something to break the silence, but before you could think of something not totally stupid, Ellie broke it, clearing her throat awkwardly.
"Look. I didn't mean to be like that, and I know it sounds like a stupid fucking excuse, but I didn't know how else to get your attention." She looked at you, her eyes scanning yours for a reaction.
You didn't know how to respond. A million thoughts rushed through your mind, but none of them seemed to come out in words. The ability to move had, so it felt, lost you and everything suddenly felt dizzy.
"Why?" you finally got out, kinda oblivious to the obvious situation. Your question earned a confused look from Ellie. "Why? Cause I fucking like you!", she paused a moment, "Really. Like the 'i can't stop thinking about you' and 'i almost pass out when you look at me' like."
Oh.
Heat began to rise in your cheeks, and you quickly looked down to hide it. Just before you could open your mouth, Ellie, once again, did it before you. "You don't have to say anything to that, y'know? Let's just forget all that and never talk about it again."
"No," you simply answered, "cause I like the fact that you like me." You paused. "And I like you too." Ellies breath hitched, her eyes sparkling, leaning in closer. "You do?" She smirked, gaining her confidence back. "I do."
With your approval, she closed the gap between you two and started kissing you. Passionate, yet soft, not wanting to take things too far. Your hands found their way around her neck, hers on your waist. You slightly shivered at her touch, whimpering into the kiss which Ellie took as an opportunity to slip her tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss.
As Ellie slowly moved her leg up between your legs, you gasped and removed your lips from hers. "Too much?" She asked carefully. You quickly shook your head before connecting your lips again, this time less soft, growing more needy. Quickly, Ellie had her leg between yours again, moving it slightly to cause some friction. "Fuck." You moaned into the kiss, causing Ellie to smile against your lips.
But just as she increased her speed: "What the fuck?" Ellie quickly removed her leg from between yours, turning around. Heat began crawling up your face. "Jesse!" Ellie whisper-yelled. But he just stood there, grinning. Brightly. "I hoped this would happen. But please, next time, close the door. Or better: Lock it." This made the whole situation just more embarrassing in your eyes. "As much as I'd love to let you guys.. carry on with what you were doing, the coach wants to speak to you." He continued, facing Ellie.
She shortly looked at you, flashing a smile, before heading out with Jesse, but not without saying: "We need to continue that." And a wink. At you.
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ceilidho · 11 months ago
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1800s mail order bride [price/reader] for da wip game
i haven't yet gotten around to writing more of this fic (it's listed as complete on ao3 because i feel like it leaves off at a good place so if i never get back around to it, im fine with that, but the door is still open enough for me to return.
without having given this too much thought, this is what i would probably write if i were to make this into a proper fic (huge spoilers below because i'm basically outlining the entire plot):
after the scene in the sheriff's office, Price whisks you off to the local judge to be wed; this is where you come back to yourself and start protesting and denying that you're the girl he's waiting for
Price then says something about how "if you're not her, then who are you?" and brutally interrogates you about your identity (he thinks you're lying and he's just trying to make the truth come out) but you're still too nervous to say anything about who you are and where you're from because, remember, you just left a city where you killed someone. you have no idea how much information has been disseminated or whether you're a wanted woman. at one point you make up a lie about being "elizabeth smith from Rhode Island" and he challenges that by saying "we'll contact your kin then and have them confirm" (essentially saying you're under house arrest with him / in the town until someone related to "elizabeth smith" telegrams from R.I. or sends a letter)
you never actually give in and just go "fine, i'm the woman you've been corresponding with" but Price sees all these holes in your story as evidence that you are her and he's convinced that "your guilty heart brought you here to me anyway." There's basically nothing you can do to avoid being married off to him.
you're basically shell shocked the entire time at the court house and then on the trip back to the inn to collect your belongings to bring to Price's house.
the first night at his place is rough. you're basically like a feral cat the whole time - still insisting that he's got the wrong woman, indignant and furious when he thinks he has the right to put his hands on you and touch you (Price just lifts his brow at that because like...you are his wife now so really it's a moot point), and locking yourself in his bedroom the second the two of you are home.
Price finds all of this very amusing. he has stuff to do around the property anyway, so he lets you lock yourself in the room for a couple hours.
eventually he does just unlock the door with a key he has on top of the doorframe (you thought you were safe in there but oops nope). there's some conversation about "wifely duties" that has you screaming and spitting at him before he threatens to put you over his knee again, so you clam up and get a bit teary, which makes Price soften. (good excuse for me to write a soft but firm version of Price shushing you and drawing you into his embrace)
anyway, the middle of this story would be all slow, tender sex and you having to get used to being Price's wife while always keeping one eye out for any news of there being a warrant out for your arrest. you get spooked once by a man in town asking about any newcomers (maybe you're in a shop and you overhear him ask the cashier while you're behind a shelf) and try to flee, but Price tracks you down and he's sooooo mad when the two of you get home. like sex is rough that night.
events i'd want to have happen:
someone comes sniffing around town for you (bounty hunter maybe) and you try running away (unsuccessful, but you're mildly reassured when you hear the man has left town by the next day because everyone thinks of you as Price's wife so no one thinks to mention that a woman arrived in town the other week)
there's an incident on a farm on the outskirts of town that Price has to go to - he makes you promise to be good and you spend the next two days wrestling with whether to take the opportunity to leave or not. you end up staying. Price comes back and he's so happy to see his little wife still home after a few rough days of work. probably the first time he makes you sit on his face to reward you.
your luck finally comes to an end when the same bounty hunter finally comes back (your marriage announcement may have been in the local paper and somehow word got to him about a girl matching the description of the woman he's after) and somehow manages to trap you. the climax of this fic is that he manages to get you on a horse speeding away from town and you're heartbroken/terrified/desperate for John but your situation seems hopeless)
John catches up with the two of you and he, uh....deals with the bounty hunter that took his wife from him. before he "deals" with him, the bounty hunter does basically reveal who you actually are, and there's a moment where you see that John believes him. he looks at you in a strange way for just a second and there's this glint in his eye that says "yeah I either suspected this or this is new information to me but now everything makes sense" and your heart just stops because it's the first time where you actually don't want him to know that you aren't the woman that was supposed to be his wife
then he kills the bounty hunter and takes you home :) and he never ever acknowledges what the other man said. because you're his wife and that's all that matters.
suuupppperrrr tender loving sex that night LMAO probably out in wilderness because you're far outside of town and the two of you are exhausted (plus, John just buried this man's body so you had to diverge from the route home for a bit)
at some point in time, a woman does show up at your doorstep claiming to be John's wife. you slam the door on her face.
ok now i wanna write this again FUCKDJGHSJGVSD
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ikigaisvt · 1 year ago
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Mirror, mirror on the wall...
who is the horniest of them all? (part 2)
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in which Jeonghan punishes you for being a brat.
pairing: jeonghan x reader, dom!jeonghan x sub!reader (implied seungcheol x reader?) words count: 1k content: smut warnings: mirror kink, dirty talk, begging, jeonghan is Mean and a menace, teasing, orgasm denial, overstimulation, masturbation (m), use of vibrator (reader), cum, implied future threesome w seungcheol, talk of exhibitionism(?) and they like it, reader has female parts, petnames (for reader: doll, slut/my slut, sweet thing, baby, poor thing, pretty angel / for jeonghan : hannie, baby) note: im sick in the head... MINORS DNI. you will be blocked. i hope everyone else enjoys it tho,, i didn't think i'd be writing smut anytime soon but jeonghan has an unheatlhy grip on me! and ofc i had to make it about seungcheol one way or another... anyway, please reblog and give feebacks. enjoy!
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"Doll, look at yourself." Jeonghan demands behind you. Unfortunately (for you, let's be honest) you can't look away from him. He is a sight to behold.
It's like your eyes have been doing a constant up and down through the mirror for the past 10 minutes - since Jeonghan started what he likes to call your punishment (but is it really one?)
You first start to look at his hair, the way it falls down to touch his shoulders or the way it's sticking to his forehead with sweat. Then your eyes quickly fall down to his; they are demanding and strict, and the soft look they usually adorn is long gone. Soon enough, you get lost in his face and his soft features, the way his cheeks are still the cheeks you wanna pinch, his nose is still the nose you wanna bop and his lips is still the lips you wanna kiss. No matter how hard he goes, you will always have a soft spot in your heart for him, you realize.
You move down to his body, his skin looking so soft you almost reach out your hand to touch him through the mirror - he is like a mirage, almost. You feel a whine forming in your throat but you push it down, not wanting to give him any kind of satisfaction.
But truly, you are already gone when you see his cock in the mirror, the tip red and dripping with precum. He's hard and hot, you almost ask to help him - but you know you'll only be turned down. So, you have no choice but to look and look and look at him, his hand going up and down again and again and again, in a perfect rhythm. And you endure the pain of not touching him and the pleasure seeping through your veins as the vibrator goes on and on and on against your clit.
"H-Hannie," you hear yourself whimper, "please-"
"What did I say? Look. At. Yourself." he answers your plea sternly.
And that's when you meet your own gaze in the mirror for a second before looking at your own body. Your eyes are trained on your chest; you are covered in marks and hickeys - just like your lover adores it. You see your hands trying to grab at anything as if it will make the pleasure less intense once you get a grip of something. And shyly, your eyes fall down between your legs; your pussy is leaking with juice, making a mess on the carpet and you can see - and feel the way it's begging for release. As you realize the dirtiness of the whole scene Jeonghan has made for you two, you can't help the moan escaping your mouth.
"Pussy looking so good my slut can't help but moan?" Jeonghan sneers behind you, making your gaze go up in the mirror and meeting his frame sat down at the edge of the bed, his hand still chasing a release.
"Fuck- Jeonghan," you moan again, "Please please please- let me come"
"You have to say sorry first, sweet thing." Jeonghan answers, still showing no sign of struggling.
"S-Sorry?" you ask, confused, "For what?" you say, meeting up his gaze.
"Baby, have I already surrendered you stupid?" he chuckles, "And you still haven't got my dick. Poor thing."
You moan at the idea of getting fucked, you moan so loud it's embarrassing and you wish the members on the other side of the hotel wall can't hear you.
Fuck. Hotel. The members. Seungcheol.
"Fuck I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry-" you voice out, almost like a mantra.
"Oh, you remember now?" Jeonghan sneers behind you, "You remember throwing yourself at Seungcheol? Remember when you sat down next to him and panted at the way his arms looked? The way you almost gasped when he showed you a pic of his tattoo- fuck-" he curses, finally showing signs of wanting a release as much as you.
"I’m so sorry please Hannie- fuck, I’m gonna cum" you say, feeling the wave build up and up.
"Don't you fucking dare." Jeonghan commands, "Hold it off. Don't cum."
"Fuck- yeah okay okay-" you moan out loud.
"I bet you'd like him to hear you, to see you like this, wouldn’t you?" he mocks as you sob, not even hiding the fact that you are so turned on by the thought, "Can't believe I got myself such a slut instead of a pretty angel." he sneers behind you.
"Jeonghan-" you cry, feeling tears fall down on your cheeks.
"Oh, my slut is crying now? What is it, hm?" he asks you in a condescending tone, "Are you crying for him or for me? For his cock or for my cock?"
"F-For you" you manage to answer between two sobs, your voice breaking.
"Yeah? That's a good girl." he praises you for the first time, "Do you wanna come now? Wanna come for me?"
"Yes-" you answer greedily.
"Ask nicely then." he orders, making you work for it.
"Please- Jeonghan, please let me cum? Please I'll be good i promise I'm so sorry please please" you say, not even sure you're making sense anymore.
"Go ahead baby, cum for me."
And you do. Hard. The waves crashes on you again and again and again, never stopping, never taking a break, and you almost feel like you are going to pass out but you breath in and out, just like Jeonghan spent months teaching you - and you make it through the biggest orgasm of your life. You finally open your eyes and you meet Jeonghan’s gaze in the mirror, his stomach covered in cum but his cock still hard and his hand gripping around his tip. That's when you realize the vibrator is still in you, its intense buzzing overstimulating you. You almost feel like you are back to the beginning of the night. Almost.
"Hannie, baby-" you choke out, "I came, you can turn it off."
"You sweet thing, you really thought I’d be making you come only once," he chuckles, "I need to make you admit you want Seungcheol to join us." he states, making you gasp, "Oh and doll, look at yourself." he smirks.
You really are back to the beginning.
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thank you so much for reading! please don't forget to reblog, that will make me vry happy hehe
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08melancholie · 2 months ago
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in typical "i can fix him" fashion, i like to indulge in shameless delusions about Micah falling obsessively in love with me (/the reader) and being absolutely destraught over it because suddenly his whole world view is being turned upside down. Suddenly there's more to life than surviving and fighting, and he has to figure out himself and his values all over again because of a woman he's come to love more than himself. I'd love to hear your take on obsessive love, actually-kinda-wants-the-best-for-you Micah, if you'd like <3
((PS: im so sorry if this is cringe))
Trust me, I do not believe in cringe on this account🙏
As far as obsessive love with Micah goes, I can totally see it; in his own little ways.
He's definitely more subtle about it. Before getting together, you'll literally have no idea at all that he was heavily infatuated with you. He's discreet because you cant be a rough, mean cowboy while being in love and acting like a schoolgirl with her first ever crush.
There's a part of the game where we see him ask Mary-Beth to dance that one time. He's stuttering and nervous; and that's how I imagine he'd be with you at first. It's all so new to him, falling in love, so it's only natural you'll see a more vulnerable, almost scared side of him. Softie Bell, I love you.
He won't be too physical with you outside of intimacy, like he's not a cuddler but if you were to ask him, he'd oblige a few times to keep you happy—because he loves you. Just kind of laying down with you and doing whatever comes to mind; rubbing your back or head slowly. We know he's a heavy insomniac so if you fall asleep, he'll just stare at the tent ceiling and space out, waiting for you. He'll never admit it, but he loves having you in his arms.
He'll show his upmost trust and love for you with things that might seem minuscule to an outside perspective; like letting you handle Baylock or his precious guns which would be a huge sign of trust on his end. He once left his guns in your care for nearly three hours and it was the best thing ever.
He'll definitely handle you more gently—like he does his guns. You're both precious to him, that's for sure. I can see him being too scared to even touch you too roughly or hug you too tightly at first, as if you were made of porcelain or something. Over time, he gets a lot more comfortable as he warms up to the feeling—and after you tell him he can touch you like a normal person would.
God forbid someone tries to even talk to you when he takes you out—immediate threats and many bar fights you witnessed go down in which Micah went ballistic. Most nights out end with you and him at the medicine wagons, both on your own crate as you scold Micah for his temper while you clean his face up. Was it partially just his plan to have you touching him and cleaning him up longer? Maybe.
Just mildly a stalker, by the way. Oh, you're doing chores around camp? Wow, what a coincidence; Micah is in the exact spot where he can watch while not being too obvious about it! Wow, that's a crazy coincidence, surely!
Probably has your whole routine/schedule memorised; he knows when you're doing what chore, and he knows where he has to go to be able to watch. He's a little creep and we love it.
Honorable mention — love language.
His love language is definitely quality time. If he catches you alone somewhere, he'll walk over and do literally anything just to be around your presence. You could be doing chores and he'll just walk over and lean on the nearest tree or wagon to you, take his knife out and start sharpening it. Literally anything to spend time with you at this point. Won't make an effort at smalltalk because he actually enjoys sitting in silence with you, but will occasionally let you yap his ear off when you have something to say. "Mhm..; Oh, yeah?; You don't say?; Wow, yeah?" He'll respond with whatever just to keep you talking to him, loves the sound of your voice.
this was me using the req to my advantage to spit out all the micah content plaguing my brain. pls help he wont pay rent or leave the premises. hell, i'm the one that's obsessed as of now.
In conclusion;
Micah is secretly obsessed with you and will never truly admit it—even if it's goddamn obvious to everybody.
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tan1shere · 4 months ago
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Do you think you could please do something with eva like hurt/comfort ig? If you're comfortable maybe like reader had super bad anxiety and something triggers her and she basically has an anxiety attack and closes herself in her room but eva comforts her?
Here For You
Eva x female reader !
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A/n: yes ofcourse ! If you are new here, welcome I am more than comfortable doing anxiety as I suffer from it and I know a thing or two about the stupid thing ! This is for my anxiety girlies I love you deeply <3 YOU ARE LOVED HEAPS !!!!!!
Summary: Eva helps calm you down when you need it most.
Warnings: anxiety, anxiety attack, think that's the main ones, lmk if I missed anything major !
Masterlist
It was as if you had been on edge lately and you had absolutely no idea why. Which worried you, why did you feel like this with no reasonable explanation. You have been traveling for awhile now to go see your long distance girlfriend, Eva. She had moved awhile back and you wanted to see a tour of her new place. You were tired, sick of driving. So you were incredibly thankful once you had pulled in, looking at the massive house infront of you. She greets you outside with a smile. "Hi baby girl." Her feet move towards your door instantly opening it. Your energy comes back, leaping out and into her arms. Wrapping your legs around her torso in the process. "I missed you." You say into her neck as you hug her tightly. Her hand makes its way into your hair gently stroking. "Not as much as I missed you."
After a few kisses it was time to see the inside. "This place is huge!" You beam, turning around in a circle to get a look at everything. "It is, has many rooms." You then look at her, smiling tiredly. "You look exhausted." She then says, coming over to you. You nod as a reply, sinking back into her touch. "I have some people coming over later on-" You pull away slightly to look at her. You were always an anxious person, social anxiety was a main. You hated meeting new people, you felt so incredibly awkward. Your brain makes you overthink, not to mention the panic and anxiety attacks you'd get.
"I know, but its ok I'll be here with you I promise. Besides I'd love for you to meet my friends. They'll love you." You sigh. "They won't once they find out im an anxious idiot." She looks at you sadly. "You're not an anxious idiot baby. I swear to you. You're the sweetest thing in this world." She speaks delicately as she goes to hold your face in her soft hands. You close your eyes, taking a breath. "I'm still unsure.." Her thumb rubs your cheek. "I'm right here. - promise."
You trusted that she'd keep that promise, and she did. But you couldn't help feeling judged by all these new people. Even if they weren't you couldn't shake the thought. You were staying super close to Eva, honestly wanting this to be all over so you could sleep, and spend your time with her. You tried your hardest to put on a smile, make out you weren't shaking in your boots. You felt pathetic, why did you get like this.
Then the worst happens. A question was being asked. "So, Y/n. How long have you known Eva?" A girl named Cricket asks. You pause for a bit. "Uhm, 3 years now?" You look at Eva, wanting a little bit of backup. You were so stupid God. "Yes! 3 years and more to come." She smiles at you, a smile that sets your nerves at ease for a moment. Feeling like all of this went away. But then she speaks again. "And where abouts are you from again?" Your head turns to her. "A few hours, uhm from here." You try so hard to sound confident but your voice indeed comes out shakey. And you heard it. The worst part.
Your overthinking comes into play.
Shes going to think I'm a weirdo. Why can't I just talk normal. What's. Wrong. With. Me.
That little voice clouds your brain making you miss what she had asked you next, you feel a hand come in contact with your back. Bringing you out of the thoughts slightly. "W-what?" You ask, more shakey than before. Eva rubs lightly. "Are you alright love-?" Cricket asks sweetly. The thoughts had time to creep back up on you in that small space of time. "I- excuse me.." You rushed upstairs into Eva's room, locking the door in the process so no one could come in. You clutch your chest, trying to calm down but you couldn't. It felt heavy, making you freak out more.
Tears begin to stream uncontrollably. Taking in breaths as you choke on air. You slide down the door, gripping your hair. Having the same little voice repeat.
You're stupid.
You're awkward.
You are weak.
"I'm stupid.." You breathe out, still holding onto your chest. Then there was a knock at the door, startling you. "Baby?" Eva's soft voice was heard. You don't respond, not trusting your voice. "Please let me in you're worrying me, beautiful." You hear the door knob, reluctantly going to open it. Moving a bit for her to come in. Shes on the floor with you in an instant. Considering she's been with you through many of these. "Hey hey, look at me ok." You couldn't as you're freaking out continues. "Baby.." Your eyes shut. "Can I touch you?" You just nod, shed always ask that just to make sure she wouldn't startle you.
Her hands come to your face, getting you to look at her. "Breathe angel breathe." Her eyes dart from yours, concern writen all over them. "You're ok, I'm here for you." "You are safe." You nod, understandingly. Slowly coming back. "I'm stupid Eva.. why am I like this." Her thumbs come to wipe your tears. "You are far from stupid my girl. For one you're tired. You've been driving all day, and you just feel things heavily. That's ok." Your head tilts slightly, taking in her words. "You're special, in the best way possible. And I love you so fucking much." She finishes, still having her hands on your face. "Im sorry." You apologize.
"Don't be, its ok. They're leaving now anyways." Your eyes widen. Was it because of- "And before that brain of yours tricks you. They were always going to leave at this time. I assure you." Her tone was steady and calm. Making your nerves ease again. "Do they think I'm weird?" Her head shakes side to side. "Crick, loved you. She said you were a breath of fresh air." The corners of your mouth move up, smiling as she says that. It only makes her smile too. "There she is." Her arms bring you into a tight hug. "My brain is stupid." You then say. She nods. "Incredibly." The smiles were still lingering. Just grateful to have someone like her. "Why don't we sleep this long day off?"
"Sounds, amazing."
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fleurriee · 1 year ago
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from the jealous, protective and territorial prompt list LOVE THE WAY YOU WRITE NETEYAM 💗💗
❝  i just didn’t like the way they were looking at you.  like you weren’t mine.  ❞
+ [ CLAIM ]  for one muse to possessively place their hands on their shoulders or hips. 
ILYYYYYYYYY
so, this was a lot longer than i'd originally anticipated lmao. think i got a little to into the back story here <33 hehe tyyy im glad im doing him justice!! ily too 2k drabbles!
pairing ; neteyam x fem!reader
synopsis ; neteyam never did like it when others looked at what was his.
themes ; fluff, suggestive content - including heated kissing & groping, established relationship (mates).
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Change had always been something you struggled with. From a very young age, you couldn’t stand it when even the littlest thing changed - whether your family had to move your tent to a different spot, no longer in the one you had grown to love; or, on a much larger scale, when people in your clan started to die more frequently due to the raging war.
You liked routine more than anything, you enjoyed the idea of doing the same thing everyday, nothing unexpected turning up out of the blue to catch you unawares. It was always considered more stressful if something changed within your day, because then the rest of it would.
The only change you ever did love, was when you became mated with Neteyam. It was obvious from the moment he had asked to court you that things were going to become different in the long run, but for once in your life, you didn’t find yourself worried about it. Instead, you craved it more.
It was so easy to fall in love with Neteyam Sully, that he eased you completely until you felt like you were an entirely different person. You weren’t scared when it came to having to meet new people who would eventually become your family; you weren’t scared of having to move your whole life into a different tent that would now be shared with your mate; you weren’t scared of waking up every morning with a different routine.
You weren’t scared - not if it meant Neteyam was by your side.
But, just because he had helped guide you through such a big change for you, that didn’t mean any other future ones to come weren’t going to scare you.
So, when it became known to the entire Omatikaya clan that the Sully family would be leaving to find another, somewhere far away so the dangers would follow them, no longer harming others that weren’t involved… it absolutely terrified you.
Of course, it was expected for you to go with them, too, as you were mated to the eldest Sully, and he was your entire future. And, whilst the reassurance of having him with you was comforting, the idea of leaving everything you’ve ever known behind - your family, your friends, your routine - was attempting to outweigh all of that.
Nothing would ever be the same again - not truly. You didn’t know if the next time you’d see your parents would be when you were much older, a family held safely under your wings they could scarcely recognise you. But, you didn’t have much of a choice, not when you were Neteyam’s other half - where one of you goes, the other follows.
It was safe to say that you struggled more than you’d care to admit when you first arrived in Awa’atlu. Everything was so startlingly different, you were surprised you didn’t create a headache from how much your eyes were flickering about the place, taking each and every thing in before the possibility of it disappearing could arise.
The Metkayina clan were so opposite to your old one in the way they do certain things - the way they hunt, the way they fight, the way they celebrate. It was a lot to take on board for a newborn, let alone someone who now needed to change their ways for a fresh start away from any lingering danger.
And, that’s what you kept in your mind, constantly repeating it to yourself whenever things got tough. This was for your family - now that every Sully was away from where they’d always been, the danger would disappear from the forest and struggle to find them. You were doing it to ensure everyone’s safety.
You’d repeat such a thought in your mind when you got things wrong, when you couldn’t control your breathing correctly so you could swim with the rest of them, or when you couldn’t understand what they were signing and instead laughed at your confusion.
So, the offer of Tsireya teaching you on a one-to-one basis everything you were struggling with was the best it could get. She was the kindest of the lot you’d met so far - her free-spirit and calming demeanour always making you feel all the more welcome - and you couldn’t have thought of a better teacher.
You’d been there for a little while now, the two of you conversing about the different signs that were of paramount importance when under the ocean. Her fingers were depicting a variety of shapes, pointing this way and that, until they dropped down in her lap, her expectant gaze looming on you.
“Um,” you thought, repeating the action within your mind and contemplating up an answer, “not here… danger nearby…?”
Your answer came out as more of a question rather than exuding any confidence, but when her once encouraging smile grew larger and her eyes lit up more, you felt pleased with yourself. “Yes!” she congratulated you, small claps from her lowered hands, “correct!”
A giddy laugh escaped your lips, feeling proud you’d manage to finally understand something they were saying. Ears perking up, they caught onto something else that didn’t include the obvious exuberance of yourself and Tsireya - turning your head, you noticed a group of boys lingering on the forest line, looking over at the two of you and watching you with hawking eyes.
Shrivelling in on yourself, eager to disappear from their view, you were moments away from turning back to Tsireya and telling her if you could go somewhere else. But, before you could, a pair of gentle hands placed themselves upon your shoulders, thumbs rubbing into the skin there. When you looked, it was Neteyam, back bent forwards so he was closer to your sitting figure, a hint of a smile on his lips - albeit, one that was slightly tense.
“Hi,” he greeted, “can I borrow you for a little bit?” he questioned, eyes flickering over to Tsireya for permission. Neteyam knew it was important you learnt their ways just as much as the rest of them, so he didn’t want to upset the one who was teaching you.
With an understanding nod, Tsireya got up from her spot and left, sending you a look that told you she’d find you later. Once gone, just the two of you left along the shore, your mate stood up straighter, gesturing with his head for you to follow him. Confused, you did as he’d wanted, his hand grasping your own as he led you further and further away, until there was nothing left but the sounds of the waves clashing against one another.
Bringing you to a stop, he placed you in front of him, so he could see you entirely. His features were pointed, slightly scrunched, as though he was agitated. It wasn’t often when you saw your mate such a way, so when you did, it was always something that must’ve annoyed him quite a bit.
“Ma’teyam, what-” you started, but there was no chance to finish, not when he suddenly grabbed you by your hips, pulling you into him until you were chest to chest, and placed a firm kiss upon your lips. His tongue clashed against your own, such passion and aggression intermixing together until you could feel your knees go weak.
Subconsciously, your own hands lifted higher until they were placed upon his broad shoulders, steadying yourself just in case you toppled over from the extreme love he was showing you - despite knowing he wouldn’t let you fall, not with the grip he had on your sides, anyway.
It was so rare to see Neteyam like this, especially when the two of you were in public, but it only made you all the more flustered.
Pulling away from one another, a subtle smirk stretched across his lips, pulling at the edges until he was only exuding cocky confidence. “Had to get you out of there,” he explained, words a slight pant from the breath you’d stolen from him. But, his words only made you more confused, considering you were only with Tsireya. He chuckled. “I just didn’t like the way they were looking at you… like you weren’t mine.”
Eyes widening just a smidge, you realised he’d been jealous of the group of boys. Still, that didn’t seem to explain much, seeing as you were sure they were mocking you. “But-“
“No,” he cut you off once more, shaking his head adamantly and stepping somehow closer to you. He squeezed your hips, dangerously enough to bruise you, something the two of you loved - showing off the marks that showed you belonged to someone, to Neteyam. “No, you’re mine, you understand that?” His smirk grew wider, fangs on display wickedly. “Hmm, maybe you need reminding of that, huh?”
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