#once again i jsut wanted to throw something out there for my muses so you are more then welcome to lengthen

[piecedpiratesmoved]

"Is it any wonder things get broke?"

[roughentumble]

alright, so, like i said i would, here’s the unedited chapter/rough draft of chapter 8, under the cut <3

keeping it basically unedited, so there may be typos, jsyk

Leg bouncing, nails chewed, eyes unfocused-- Jaskier is the image of anxiety, thoughts running around his head in circles as he waits for Yennefer to come downstairs. He'd heard what she said about making Geralt a tea, something to ease his symptoms, but questions still plagued his mind, and all he wanted was some godsdamned answers. He slumps forward a little, elbows on the table, and puts his head in his hands.

He's so tired of worrying. No answers, no respite, just... constant, low-level worry.

Heels on wood. Jaskier's head snaps up at the sound and there she is, decending the stairs, looking grim. She crosses the room altogether too slowly in Jaskier's opinion. His leg starts bouncing again.

By the time she's seated across from him, he's about ready to jump out of his own skin. "Is he going to be alright?" The words fly out of him, a little too loud, a little too fast, before she's even fully seated.

She makes him wait until she's sitting and comfortable, legs crossed. "He's not going to die."

The relief is instant. Just hearing that simple reassurance from someone who actually knows what's going on has his shoulders slumping and tears springing to his eyes. He'd been nervous, of course, but-- he hadn't been aware *just+ how nervous until now. It leaves him a little light-headed, and his hand flutters to his chest to quell his racing heart. "Oh," he mumbles, "oh thank the gods." After a breif pause, he tacks on, "And you as well. Thank you."

Yennefer shakes her head, something approaching fondness in the corners of her eyes. "Always theatrics with you."

He makes an affronted noise. "Excuse me, I just got some rather earth-shattering news, I'm entitled to a little excitement. I don't know what's going on, unlike you people."

That seems to bring her down, expression turning serious once more. "Right. He's been keeping you in the dark, hasn't he?"

"Yeah." He says quietly, rubbing his thumb across the pads of his fingers, feeling the callouses there-- a nervous habit. "I tried not to let it show, but... he was really starting to scare me, there."

She sighs heavily, and mutters *'that idiot'+ under her breath. "Well. I can't tell you everything-- it's his job to come clean, not mine. But I can shed a little light on the sickness for you." Jaskier inhales sharply, eyes lighting up at the prospect of finally getting a little clarity. "Because that's exactly what it is-- a sickness. Not a curse." Jaskier's face falls. She continues, undettered. "Magical in nature, yes, hence why witchers can have it, but it isn't catching, so you're fine."

"So--" He sounds lost, "so you're telling me," but as he continues the words grow bolder, angrier, "*you're+ telling *me+," heated, loud, "that he knew it wasn't a curse this entire time? He's just been-- been lying to my face, while I worried and doted and... and he just, what, didn't deign to tell me?"

Yennefer raises an eyebrow. "Don't shout at me about it, I haven't misled you yet, have I?" He grumbles, but concedes her point, collapsing back in his chair. "Much better."

She gathers herself for a moment, then leans forward a bit, hands resting on knees. Her tone shifts from informative into something more serious. "You should understand that this is a very... private affliction. Not only is it incredibly rare, but it also only afflicts those who are rather... witholding to begin with. He didn't lie to be malicious. Even if he were the most open man in the continent, he'd still be rather reticent to dole out the finer details." Jaskier softens a little, goes back to rubbing his fingers together. "Were he not a witcher, and were it not for the tea I'm about to supply him, he very well could've ended up dead."

He looks up at her sharply, heart squeezing painfully in his chest. "He--?"

"Rake him over the coals for all I care. But before you do, understand where he's coming from." She meets his eyes, tilts her head a little, as if sizing him up. "Surely you've had your secrets? Things you were too ashamed to share, thoughts too private to make known." He nods, averts his eyes. "He's scared. And I normally wouldn't betray his trust in telling you that, but honestly, I think he needs you to know. He isn't being cruel, at least not intentionally. He's frightened, and ashamed, so he hid it from you. Because your opinion matters to him."

Jaskier remains silent, and Yennefer pauses as well, allows the words to sink in.

"Be angry if you'd like, of course. He shouldn't have lied to you. And he's being rather stubborn about it all, if you ask me. You don't have to let him off the hook. Just make sure, if you're going to make him squirm, it's for the right reasons." She finishes, sitting up straighter in her chair.

"All I wanted..." Jaskier folds his arms across his stomach, curling in on himself slightly. "All I ever wanted was for him to be *okay+."

She sighs heavily. "Yes, I figured as much." As she stands, she curses Geralt under her breath once more for good measure. "Do with the information what you will." She says in lieu of an actual goodbye, and then strides out the door, presumably to work on the tea she'd mentioned.

Jaskier lets out a groan and slumps against the table, laying face down against it.

His stupid, awful, bull-headed, stubborn ass of a witcher, running him ragged, making him worry over nothing while hiding the true depths of the danger he was in right under Jaskier's nose, shouldering the burden himself as if Jaskier hadn't talked himself blue in the face about how he wanted to help. Maybe Yennefer was right. Maybe he *didn't+ deserve to be let off the hook. Maybe that would finally convince him to stop being such a prick about this.

He keeps working himself up like that, letting his irritation simmer. The image of Geralt bent over, clutching flowers comes to him unbidden, and he feels a pang of sadness at seeing his witcher so fragile, so... *exposed+... but he waves the thought away.

He just needs to set some ground rules, give Geralt a piece of his mind, knock some sense into the guy. He's going to march up there and tell Geralt how it is, he decides, and he stands up abruptly, determined.

===============

Jaskier marches right up to the door and shoves it open. "We need to talk." He annonces to the room, hands on his hips. Geralt blinks up at him, startled. "Yen told me," he starts, and Geralt instantly goes pale, "Yen told me that it's *not+ a curse, and, you know what else I learned from my conversation with her? That you knew all along, and you lied to me-- what, jsut because you're a *big tough manly man+ and you can handle it on your own? Well, I've had enough! Enough of the godsdammed lies, and the evasiveness, and the-- the *bullshit+, Geralt! You can't just keep me in the dark about everything all the time!"

He ends up in front of Geralt, hands still on his hips, and not entirely sure what to say next. He's realizing that he should've maybe come up with an outline of his grievances. They feel a little jumbled now that he's saying them out loud.

"Do you have any idea how frustrating it is, how frightening it is, to know something's wrong but not know what it is, or how to stop it, or how to help? I've been, essentially, squirming under your thumb for weeks now with no respite, all because of your--!" He pauses for a moment as he looks down at Geralt-- really looks.

He looks at Geralt, ready to chastize him further, and sees his wide-eyed stare. Sees his hands cupped to his chest. More blood on his lips. More flowers in his hands.

He looks... hurt.

Jaskier melts a little, expression softening. "Oh, *Geralt+," he says quietly, stepping a little closer, "did you have another attack? Why didn't you *tell+ me, why'd you just sit there and let me yell at you whlie you're hurting?"

Geralt shrugs, eyes downcast, pulls in on himself a little further, and the moment stretches out before him, fragile, like spun glass. Something in Jaskier's chest aches, and he wants to shout, *no, no, don't do that, don't close yourself up,+ but he doesn't want to shatter the moment, doesn't know how to say it without making Geralt retreat further.

"I... I deserve it." He says quietly, head bowed.

Jaskier makes a pained sound and suddenly he doesn't give a shit about shattering the moment anymore, he just wants to comfort the man in front of him. He rushes forward, clambering into Geralt's lap, throwing his arms around Geralt's neck, tucking himself into Geralt's space to hold him close, keep him from curling in. "No, you dolt, you deserve to be-- be chastized for making me worry, not... not sit there in agony and get kicked whlie you're down! I swear, you're always overreacting, always torturing yourself for no reason..."

Geralt sits stock-still, hands crushed against his chest, trapped between himself and Jaskier's enthusiastic grip. "Did you honestly think," Jaskier continues, hugging him closer, "that I... what, wanted you to suffer, or something? Did you think I was that mad at you?"

He's tense as a rock, like any wrong move might incite Jaskier's ire. Like a cornered animal. He doesn't say anything, but that's more than answer enough. Jaskier lifts a hand and starts running his fingers through Geralt's hair. For a moment Geralt stiffens even further, but after a moment his shoulders start to drop ever so slightly, and Jaskier feels him relax by inches. His head eventually droops a bit and he leans it on Jaskier's shoulder, pressing his face into the crook. "I... I didn't want you to leave." He admits, voice small.

"Oh, my dear witcher..." Jaskier rests his cheek against the top of Geralt's head, still petting. "And... what, you thought that I'd go as soon as I found out how sick you were?" Geralt nods, and Jaskier makes an admonishing sound. "Geralt, never, I'd *never+..."

"Should." He mumbles. "Got every right to. 'M no good as a muse, like this."

"As a...?" Jaskier blinks for a moment, processing his words, then he places both hands on Geralt's shoulders and gently pushes him back, just enough to meet his eyes. "You really think I give a shit about that? You're my *friend+. I don't care about the music. I'm not going anywhere, okay? You could literally set up shop in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere as a shephard, and I'd still be right there with you. Well-- admittedly, I might go on excursions to nearby towns n' such, to get nice clothes and good wine, but, I'd still come back to you. Every time. No matter what."

"I... really?" He stares up at Jaskier in disbelief, and Jaskier smiles back.

"Of course... I'm so sorry I let you think otherwise, I... I thought you knew. Especially after our conversation the other day. You're not just a job or a muse, Geralt, I... I thought you *knew+." He says sadly, brushing some of Geralt's hair out of his face.

Geralt keeps staring, looking up at Jaskier like he's a revelation. Then, all too soon, he's curling back over, coughing into his hands. Jaskier leans back to give him space, give him air, but keeps running his hands over Geralt's shoulders soothingly, murmuring gentle encouragements.

When he straightens back up, his eyes look a little misty from the effort, there's even fresher blood staining his lips, and two new blossoms rest in his palms, shaking from the effort.

Jaskier reaches into his pocket and pulls out a handkerchief. He reaches for Geralt, and Geralt ducks back a little. "I... I don't need..." he croaks out, and Jaskier shakes his head.

"You may not *need+, but I want to, so." He reaches out again, slower this time. "So let me? Please."

Geralt stills, and Jaskier sets about cleaning his mouth for him, gently swiping the cloth along his lower lip. "Listen," he says gently, still dabbing at the red on Geralt's mouth, "if you don't want to give me all the details, you... you don't have to. Yennefer said it's... personal. If you don't want to tell me-- well, I'll still pester the hell out of you, we both know that, but... just don't lie to my face anymore, alright?"

Geralt swallows hard and gives him a single, weak nod.

===========

Deep down, Geralt knows that Jaskier is wrong. He knows that if he told Jaskier the truth, the bard would leave. Or, at the very least, would pity him, treat him differently, start pulling away, and the thought of Jaskier present but distant is almost more painful than the idea of him gone...

but he wants to believe him *so badly+.

Hesitantly, he leans forward again, and Jaskier accepts him back into the circle of his arms without complaint, lets him tuck his face back into the crook of his neck. Jaskier's grip is gentle and firm all at once, calming and grounding, and he never wants to move from this spot.

*Just for a minute,+ he thinks desperately, squeezing his eyes shut and sinking into Jaskier's touch, *just let me pretend.+

[oakmd]

Congratulations ! You received 1,000+ followers !

Continue? ▶YES ▷NO

 Well, I can’t really express anything but amazement at such an accomplishment, and to be honest I’m pretty blown away that so many of you have stuck with me since the beginning of this blog, and that so many of you enjoy Professor Oak enough to stay. I’ll forever stand by the fact that this blog was the best 'joke’ I ever made, and probably one of the most fulfilling things I’ve actively kept at. 

As much as I hope this blog has helped you find comfort and laughter, RPing Professor Oak has definitely changed me for the better, as well. It has given me an outlet to heal parts of myself and provide help to others, and also pushed me to practice positivity even when I know I get so low sometimes that I don’t even want to try. Another bonus is that I have met wonderful people here, most of you just strictly friends on the dash, but I’ve also gained relationships with people that have extended into discord and I’m sure it has made all the difference this past year and a half. 

As usual, I’m not really a fan of long-winded gushes of emotion, so I’ll keep it short, but I would really like to have it be known that my love for Professor Oak has grown tremendously, in ways I would have never reached without taking the time to thoughtfully craft his backstory and work to develop him further. I know he’s a very nostalgic character that so many of us know and respect that I’m always very careful of how I choose to build on the image without ruining what’s already there.  Out of all my many muses here, this one has seemingly ( and surprisingly ) all at once snuck its way as my primary blog; the blog I always look forward to logging into the most, where I enjoy following your activity whether it be IC or OOC, and just generally enjoy being in the presence of people so passionate about a fandom associated with my childhood. I love this little corner of a community that has welcomed me and engaged with me and unknowingly kept me going, and to look back at my experience and see that I’ve had no trouble at all makes me feel really lucky.

There will never be a way to fully and accurately express my thanks, but I will say it anyway: thank you so much, and I hope that no matter where you go, and no matter what you do, you are trying to be your best, and that you’re happy. Professor Oak will always be there to congratulate you when you reach your dreams.

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER ( because my mind is so scattered - ) special shout outs to special people: 

@timecapscle - wasn’t it you that said i’d one day get 1,000 followers? : ) you’ve literally supported me since the beginning and i just wanna say that i appreciate your enthusiasm for professor oak as much as i appreciate your enthusiasm for bill. its wonderful to see someone represent an otherwise under represented character and you do it well. i care for you so much, and wish nothing but good things for your future even if you want to do bad things in the name of science

@diligentseeker / @evolutionexpert  - someone i consider a cherished friend, despite how sporadic our interaction seems, i appreciate all our random long talks on discord, and i’ll never forget our very first conversation. it meant a lot to me, and i want to thank you. i dont meet a lot of ppl that i feel ‘get’ me on some unspoken level, so when it happens, its a nice surprise. anyway i won’t ramble because i take it you’re not one for praise, but im glad people like you exist. with that being said please stop making professor elm stress me out.

@undinaes - the moment you’ve been waiting for. SIKE! just kidding; its no surprise that you’re always filling my dash with testimonials from people that see you for what you are. you’re a beam of sunshine with all the qualities to match; warm, bright, and a natural source of energy that brings people together. your passion for writing is astounding and even when ppl dont deserve your kindness, you’re unbiased in giving it out. truly a mom through and through. but most importantly, ur my girlie and im glad we met :v

@ofpalletown - in my mind, you are practically ash, and ill be here to support you even during all your moments of Extra™ ... but aside from that you’re very loyal to your friends and full of something sunny that i can’t describe. ur gonna be okay, kid. so pls stop stressing out ur dear prof oak 

@03redd - i probably mentioned not long ago that your blog is really good, but ill say it again in case you weren’t listening. i love your blog? its very fun to follow, and i think you’re one of my favorite reds. even with me not being game verse, its so easy to just immerse myself in whatever nonsense you have red drag professor oak into. i dig your creative energy. 

@normaliium - and ofc i cant leave out my cousin. the one to be admired, the ever-successful, brilliant human being that loves me even when i take off ten years of your life each night. my life would lack such substance without you, and i will never forget all you’ve done to help me when i would otherwise be left to myself. you make me really proud to know you, you really do, and everyone i ever talk to you about can attest to that. #YOLO

@bossgiovanni - you haven’t been active in forever, but you remain one of my friends and that’s all that matters. from skype to discord, im glad we could stick together even with our blatant differences in opinion. you are always so nice to me and say the kindest things, and i just wanna say thanks. hope youve been doing well! you are capable of so much, and i believe in you, so don’t forget that. 

@agentmansley - can i jsut say thank you for staying true to your muse and throwing even the purest of characters into your mess? i have loved your blog long before i made professor oak, and you’re seriously one of the funnest people i’ve rp’d with here. everything i’ve written with you is refreshing and new, and never fails to make me laugh. thank you for your love for kent, and also for writing with me. i know you’ve been MIA for a while, but you’re definitely a memorable person. 

@tcssaiga - i dont have a lot of cross-fandom interactions so when they happen im usually pleased. you’ve got great characterization, and have perfect dialogue. i never watched a whole lot of inuyasha but i’ve atched enough to know that you’re pretty close to canon. thanks for the interactions even if you’re mean to prof oak on archer ; (

@askgarymfoak - MY LITTLE ACORN!!!! the dedication you have for gary honestly gives me so much life, and i love rping with you on discord and just yelling about sam / gary hcs. its always a highlight of my day and i can tell you’ve thought about gary and his life long and hard, and its so cool to see someone interested in all that makes him the Headache we all recognize and love. please never stop sharing with me the personal hcs you have for the boy, i always want to hear them. 

@futureheld - we don’t even rp with each other on this muse BUT youre one of my longest tumblr rp friends that i still talk to and you’re really important to me. we have history, we go back!!!! okay? #FRIENDSHIP n all that. but tbh id follow you on any muse because your writing is just great? id write any weird crossover with you because you have a talent for making it work seamlessly anyway. thanks 4 the memories, loser. 

@seviiserver - CELIO!!! we dont talk as much as we used to, or rather, we talk in bursts every now and then but i consider you one of my good friends! not only are u really talented in all things artistic, but i love your writing and it’s always enjoyable to read, even if its not one of our threads together. you made me have so much adoration for celio and like all the other ppl ive met who bring life to underrated / under-rp’d muses, i enjoy seeing everything you pour into him... AND ALSO I LOVE OUR OAK / ROWAN INTERACTIONS? i love them so much it hurts okay. even if its just silliness in discord it brightens my day. anyway perhaps one day we will cross paths in this sleepless city and i will finally teach u how to ride a bike.

@rottenrhythms - i know i dont have much to say or comment with whenever you message me on discord, but i admire how much detail you put into your characters and meta. im always impressed with all the work and thought you put into your world-building; i wish i had that much drive. also, you’ve made a lot of improvement with yourself from the time i first started talking to you on skype. be proud of your progress, and keep working at it, it’s worth it in the long run!

@lack--two NATE youre definitely a very sweet person, and perhaps a little more devious ooc than i’d imagined you would be ( at least to me, why must you poke me for reactions? ; ( u wound me ) but you’re a soothing presence to be around and im glad you were finally able to make discord work. bonus points for letting me yell about yugioh all the time. never stop being wonderful. im here for you whenever you might need a listening ear, okay? 

@loyalpika / @palletbloomer - #PRIKA!!! ever since i first followed you i remembered being blown away by your extensive headcanons on pikachu and i genuinely enjoy every blog you make! we dont talk OOC but from all your ooc posts you seem like a very caring older sister and thats nice to see; with you running around all the time, i hope you do get some rest every now and then! i hope our camaraderie never falters, take care friend! 

@thepkmnnurse - i cant forget all the love and support both you and your muse have for professor oak, and im happy you try to spread positivity on the dash whenever you can! we don’t talk much OOC but from what i can tell you’re just as kind and nurturing as nurse joy herself. i hope you’ve been taking it easy wherever you are, and i hope your days are bright!

@rebelracket - will there ever be a day that i dont enjoy seeing your delinquent muse causing havoc on the dash? your creativity is wonderful to witness and i enjoy clarissa so much, thank you for interacting with a pure ol’ muse like mine. i hope we can continue to keep writing together, im excited at where we might end up. p.s. your art is delightful.

@porttownprince - you’re a gentle presence on my dash but im glad that youre here and that you’ve stuck around despite all the bad things that followed you. i hope you can overcome all the trauma you’ve been through. thank you for being kind with me!

@nikkouki - i know i dont say much but i enjoy your random check ins with me on discord, and i think youre a sweet young girl. you’re gonna go far in life, just make sure you keep going! continue being a precious kiddo and don’t forget to study your japanese ; (

@viciousvainglory & @midoriyamight - i cant think of one without the other so accept this double-tag lol. you’ve both supported this blog since the beginning and i wont forget how welcome you made me feel! no matter what blogs you’re on im glad we can still be friends! you deserve the big toblerone! 

@fateandfury - my long time writing parter without knowing we were long time writing partners! the work you put into professor juniper is something to behold! we haven’t seemed to interact much despite rping professor muses, but that doesn’t mean i don’t appreciate your take on such a muse!

OTHER BLOGS TO BE ADMIRED ( also in no particular oder) : @sterlingsilverchampion @starmarkcd @pxgtails @satanstories @champofpallet @golden-oak @spriggaens @nurturen @florenselite @craniumaniac @ask-guzma @tenderpoison @gocatchem @faemoria @hikaup@writtenbykaichu @executiveariana @honoxtokage @simikami @bigcalavera @rotorotom @thehopcful @and-they-succeeded @metalprincess13 @keep-those-memories-away @hisvanity @attitxde @asmayflies @sesshcmaru @theagentlooker @ambcrly @kantocowboy @dauphindekalos @beareroftheblueorb @blastingxff @aquaelegance @bugeyesboutique @make-it-trouble  @thunderstonereject  @theagentlooker @soultattered @scvedbylove  @diluviumx @inevitabilis-sors @pokedouche @fightiniumz @firespun

I’M SO SORRY IF I MISSED PEOPLE, THIS IS REALLY HARD FOR SOMEONE SO SCATTER-BRAINED AND MEMORY-FOGGED AS ME. EVEN IF YOU’RE NOT INCLUDED AND EVEN IF WE’RE NOT MUTUALS, I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR SUPPORT OF THIS BLOG. WITHOUT ANY OF YOU I WOULDN’T HAVE GOTTEN HERE.

BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR A GIVEAWAY!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!