#once again begging the fandom to hate this man for the shit he actually did not the shit that's not real | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lotusthewriter · 1 year ago

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Some day, when your head is much lighter

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe

Rating: T

Relationships: Peter & Tony, Peter & Nebula, Peter & Morgan

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Nebula, Morgan Stark; MINOR - Pepper Potts; MENTIONED - Guardians of the Galaxy (minus Gamora), Happy Hogan, James "Rhodey" Rhodes

Summary: As they all celebrate Tony's return home, Peter feels like an outsider.

Nebula may relate a bit too much to the feeling.

Word count:

AO3

A/N: Heads up that on AO3 the fic is split in two chapters, but here I published the whole story in one post.

I bet a fic like this exists already, but I think Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 inspired me, so I ended up writing this thingy. Well, besides my dad treating me like shit as usual, resulting in a clingy and needy author writing paternal affection to soothe their lack of it. And I once again ended up writing 5k of self-indulgent hurt/comfort.

Also kind of a salt fic, mainly because we were robbed of more Nebula and Tony - and better yet, Nebula and Peter. They all deserve happiness!!! They deserve to be friends!!! To be family!!!!

Anyway, the Guardians are buddies with the Ironfam because of Nebula, while the Rogues/Avengers should stay as far away from Tony as possible, lmao.

Please be aware of the trigger warnings listed below.

TRIGGER WARNINGS - past canonical character death, suicidal thoughts/ideation, grief, implied past child abuse and depression.

Hate will be blocked. P/roship DNI.

Parties were never really his thing.

This one is different, though.

After practically two months, Tony Stark, the savior of the universe, is back home with his family.

His real family.

Aunt May couldn’t come due to all the housing issues they’ve been facing since returning from the Snap, so for old times’ sake, Happy went all the way to Peter’s current apartment to take him to the peaceful lake house the Potts-Starks have decided to retire in.

The trip felt… uncomfortable.

Happy of all people tried to get Peter to talk, in the most awkward way imaginable. Eventually, Happy would only shoot him sad glances, not at all grumpy, until Peter quietly asked him to give him some privacy for now (of course, not rudely). The boy didn’t even listen to music while he delved into New York City. Save for new stores and buildings, for the most part it didn’t look so awfully different to the human eye.

But Peter knew better than that. He sees more than the average person did. And that’s a curse.

It certainly is with Peter here, in this party that he should actually care about.

The teen gets to see Tony with the biggest smile on his face, despite the scars and the metal arm he built himself. He gets to see Pepper and Morgan, now relieved that Tony is not trapped in a hospital bed anymore. Even the… Guardians of the Galaxy have come along, like they’ve been Tony’s friends this whole time, despite the events that initially brought them together, and those that separated them as well.

Everyone is fine.

They’re exhausted and hurt, but they’re fine, because for now they celebrate.

Peter, however, has nothing to celebrate. When he should have.

This feels like Liz’s party, but at least back then Peter had Ned with him. At least things were easier. Not better , but easier .

What makes this all worse is that everyone is trying.

Like Happy did in the car, Morgan is constantly taking his hand and grinning at him with her adorable dark eyes, trying to lure him into her antics – she’ll whisper in his ear to beg him to be Spider-Man and grab all the juice pops for her –, and then Pepper immediately finds them and she will reassure Peter he doesn’t have to do anything the little “burglar” says, so Morgan will pretend to be innocent and she’ll run somewhere else. After this, Pepper is sweet and attentive towards Peter, smoothing his brown curls like she’s always done this, like he’s been her child from the moment he was born. While Rhodey likes joking with Tony, the former is incredibly soft and patient with the boy, telling Peter he can always tell everyone to stop smothering him, half-joking, half-meaningfully. Finally, the Star-Lord, who’s apparently also named after Peter, tries to sound like his cool older brother/cousin figure, only for him to end up sounding even more unaware than Uncle Ben, since Quill hasn’t been to Earth in forever. Everyone laughs when Peter accidentally implies that Quill is an old man since he has no idea how smartphones work, for a guy that has a spaceship and everything.

Admittedly, talking to the Guardians of the Galaxy kind of helps Peter get distracted from his haunting thoughts, since he ends up acting like a guide to them, in cultural terms. So you’ll basically find a teenager showing a group of aliens – and animals (as Peter eyes the walking raccoon that does not like being called a raccoon) – random memes. Drax doesn’t get the majority of them, and he demands explanations. Honestly, nobody but Groot gets it, even if all he says is “I am Groot”.

Peter never had a chance to know these guys better, as they all had to face Thanos and save the universe, so… this is nice.

That is, when Morgan steals Peter again – as well as the blue girl with black eyes, Nebula, if he’s not mistaken – to beg him to know when they’re going to play and get the juice pops. Suddenly, all the Guardians tune in and Drax “the Destroyer” is all for doing justice for the “Iron Daughter”, which draws Pepper’s attention, Tony’s and Rhodey’s laughter, and Happy doing his best to not let chaos rule the house, even if he might be secretly laughing as well.

And Peter is just… there .

He has been just there from the very beginning and… there’s nothing left for him to do.

This shouldn’t be upsetting. Peter should be laughing with them. He should be happy that Tony is alive. He should be grateful he’s here with him and everyone else.

But he isn’t.

He can’t keep pretending.

Peter flees the scene when he’s sure no one will notice, so he’s outside by the lake, facing the distant buildings he’s grown up with. The teenager already wonders how in the hell he’s going to leave without asking Happy, because he certainly doesn’t want to cause any more trouble for them. Peter does have his homemade suit with him, since it’s a habit he’ll never grow out of, but again, there aren’t any buildings in this area, and trees aren’t exactly stable enough for web shooting. Not to mention how expensive a cab would be to leave such an isolated place.

In the middle of his overthinking, a presence approaches, somehow undetectable by his enhanced senses at first.

“You’re leaving?”

It’s… truly not the voice you’d expect.

Peter turns around to find Nebula, who observes him with a knowing look… yet not judgmental. She doesn’t look confused by him leaving, either. She just pointed it out.

He opens his mouth but he only makes weird noises instead of words, hiding his cell phone since he’s already been caught, and fidgeting nervously.

“I- I-I dunno,” Peter manages, “I just…”

The arachnid teenager truly has no idea what to say. Every excuse he can come up with only sounds more and more dickish.

Nebula hums.

“Although you smiled the entire time, and were even socializing well with others…” Her eyes are deep like outer space. “All you wanted was to escape.”

Peter bites his lip. Nebula doesn’t sound like she knows the whole truth. Once again, she just observes and wants to confirm her suspicions.

“I-I’m sorry,” he mumbles.

Nebula shakes her head. “You don’t need to apologize for wanting to escape.”

Peter frowns, looking down.

“I-I don’t want to be ungrateful, I know everyone wants me to be here and- and you’re all trying really hard to make me feel comfortable, but…”

The cyborg crosses her arms, yet again, not in a way to make him feel bad.

Peter sighs. “I just feel like I don’t belong.”

His voice sounds wet and broken. Honestly, he’s been wanting to cry the moment he stepped here.

“These past few months have been so hard for me,” the boy opens up, despite Nebula being basically a stranger to him. “I already have to deal with the fact I turned into dust and woke up five years later. I have to get home and realize nothing is the same, I realize how much I’ve lost. People have moved on from me. And yet I have to go to school and be a normal boy like none of the things I mentioned ever happened. A-And then, I almost lost Mr. Stark, and he was isolated in the hospital this entire time… the staff told me I had to be his actual family to visit him.” Peter sniffs, drying his eye with his sleeve. “And even though I know Mr. Stark and Mrs. Potts would do everything to include me in their family, I still… never went after that. It doesn’t make sense, does it? I’m hurt that they didn’t let me see him… but I also didn’t have the heart to tell them I was hurt. Not to mention seeing him in that state… I don’t think I could handle the sight.”

Peter doesn’t look at Nebula at all, though he’s aware she’s listening in silence the whole time. She seems to have stepped closer to him, but they keep a fair distance from each other. He half realizes Nebula seems to have… glitter on her face, probably thanks to Morgan. He would have laughed if he weren’t breaking down.

“Like, even the Guardians are way better at this than me! At being their family!” Peter resumes. “It’s like they’ve been Mr. Stark’s friends since forever, like they weren’t dead for FIVE YEARS or the fact that they barely know him!”

He hates how childish he sounds right now, how needy and spoiled he is for being upset about all of this; especially after just admitting that he never bothered to tell Mr. Stark what he wants.

Peter dries his tears because he doesn’t want them to be seen, to be discovered, even if Nebula looks like the best person to keep secrets.

“S-See? The problem isn’t them, it’s me,” he says, angry. “They want me to matter, but it’s pointless. I’m not worth anything, ‘cause I can’t do anything right.”

He only remains cleaning his face meaninglessly with his shirt while Nebula is quiet, maybe shocked or sympathetic, he doesn’t really know. Peter also makes sure nobody else is watching them, which thankfully seems to be the case.

Either way, the boy dries the water and snot until his eyes shut up… besides Nebula finally saying something for once.

“... you are not the problem.”

Peter frowns. “What?”

“You’re not the problem,” Nebula repeats patiently.

“Why?” He’s too distraught to apologize for the slight lashing out.

Nebula, however, is unfazed by the reaction.

“I… never had anything,” she starts. “Thanos stripped everything away from me. And when he killed half of the universe… somehow I managed to have less than nothing. But then… I had Tony.” Nebula is the one looking away, staring at the lake. “We were the only survivors.”

Peter watches her not shed a single tear.

“It only lasted a few days, but they felt so long. We were out of food and gas. Even still, he made sure to look after me. We even played games together. He… praised me. Tony barely knew me and yet… he liked me,” Nebula contemplates. “And he was going to die. I knew I couldn’t do anything… but I did what I could.”

She pauses.

“After we were saved, I thought he’d be better off without me. I knew he had a family,” Nebula admits. “But whenever I was available, I’d find myself getting repairs and updates the most carefully I have ever witnessed. I’d find myself drinking… hot chocolate. And sometimes babysitting Morgan. So… I ended up being part of his family, I guess.” She shrugs affectionately, a shy smile even surfacing there. “I never thought I’d be part of a family. The Guardians didn’t convince me otherwise, not at first. It was Tony’s.” She stops again. “It might not look like it, but to this day, I still believe I don’t deserve to be here. I don’t deserve to be taken care of. I don’t deserve Tony loving me the way my father never did.” Now her voice is the one which breaks.

Peter watches her this whole time, without breaking down again. Nebula seems to be tough, but at the same time she’s being very vulnerable right now. She ends up letting out a deep sigh.

“What I mean is… you have every right to feel hurt or alone, or out of place. That does not make you a bad person. That is not your fault,” Nebula reassures him. “And most importantly, you deserve help for that. You deserve love.”

Peter looks at her with his well-known puppy eyes, like Tony would call them.

He wants to say something – he should, but not sure what it’d be.

The blue cyborg stands awkwardly next to him, probably feeling the same way, especially after the two of them opened up so deeply like that. Nebula likely believes that she might have not helped much, hence why she’s going back to the house without a lot of certainty (or she’s really not the best at socializing, given she’s, you know. An alien).

When she’s about to leave, Peter finally lets out:

“Hey, Nebula?”

She merely turns around.

“Th… Thank you,” Peter smiles, “for looking after Mr. Stark.”

Nebula’s expression manages to soften even more. If she weren’t a cyborg, Peter is almost sure her cheeks would be red.

She nods, not saying anything. She doesn’t have to for Peter’s grin to widen.

Now, he’s rather unsure what to do. Maybe he’ll stick out here for a while, throw rocks to the lake with his super strength and see how far they can go. He doesn’t get to decide with Morgan coming back… only she’s on Tony’s lap.

“Petey! Aunt Nebula!” The little girl smiles. “Where were you? You should’ve seen Mr. Drax falling asleep in just three seconds! Without any bedtime story!”

“Mantis had to stop the big guy before he ripped our fridge apart,” Tony explains, smirking.

“Are you okay, Petey-pie?” Morgan asks, worried.

“O-Oh.” Great, that question. Why is he so obvious? “Yeah, yeah. Sorry, Morgan.”

“It’s okay. Daddy says everyone needs some good cry every now and then. And at least you weren’t alone!”

“Yeah,” Peter sniffs as he briefly smiles at Nebula.

He feels too embarrassed to look at Tony back, knowing the older man is staring at him with those big concerned eyes of his.

Due to the heavy silence, Nebula suddenly walks to Tony to talk to Morgan, her low voice softening and even sounding playful. Just vaguely.

“What do you say we prank Drax while he’s asleep?” Nebula suggests. “We could put some glitter on his face, too.”

Morgan gasps, excited. “Yeah! He’s a Guardian of the Galaxy, so he needs to shine reeeeally bright!”

“That’s right,” Nebula smiles, picking the girl up.

“Are you coming, Petey?” Morgan wonders.

Before the boy can even open his mouth, Tony speaks for him.

“We’ll be right back at you, Morguna,” he winks at her. She returns the gesture, so Morgan hugs Nebula, who seems completely alright with the affection. When Peter first met her, he never thought the cyborg would be so sweet with children.

Only for the teen to realize, he’s alone with Tony. Perhaps the first time in so long. They feel like strangers even if Tony tries not to leave that impression.

The last time they were together… Tony was dying in front of him, and all Peter wanted was to hold onto him, because he couldn’t handle losing someone else. It had felt like losing Uncle Ben all over again, and Peter wanted to push everyone else away to save Tony, to cry and mourn, and beg him to stay, to not leave him.

Peter can only understand how Nebula must have felt when she also thought she’d lose the only person that ever made her feel loved.

Tony is back.

Then why isn’t Peter happy?

“Pete?”

He can’t even look at Tony.

Peter is so ungrateful.

“Hey, buddy… you don’t need to hide your tears from me,” the man says softly. “You don’t have to be fine for my sake, or anyone’s sake.”

Peter knows that, and it only makes him want to cry harder.

When Tony approaches him, while still not directly touching him, Peter smells wood, which is… quite new for him. That and a shampoo that screams “Dad” shampoo. However, he smells the same oil and coffee that brings Peter back to their lab days. It brings him back to the nights the boy stayed over at the Compound, watching movies with his mentor, accidentally falling asleep on the hero’s shoulder, and not realizing it until he was wrapped up in a blanket and too tired and comfortable to move. It reminds Peter of when Tony put a hand behind his neck, his fingers running through the former’s curls, as the teen was being crushed by the weight of his grief, the weight of bullying and loneliness. It reminds Peter of when he felt loved despite the entire world telling him otherwise.

Everything has changed so much now, but in the end… Peter can still find some of the old smell of home.

He’s… home.

It doesn’t look like it, at all.

But he’s home.

And he loses it.

Unlike in the battlefield, Peter rushes to Tony’s arms before anything bad happens to separate them again. Before anything and anyone can take Tony away from him.

“I’m sorry!” Peter sobs, “I’m sorry, I missed you, I thought you’d–!”

“Hey, hey, hey… it’s alright, Peter.” Tony just soothes his back up and down. “I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

Peter weeps, “I’m sorry.”

“Shhh… you have nothing to apologize for. Nothing, do you hear me?”

Tony sounds so incredibly patient that it only has Peter cry more in his shoulder, at this point too out of it to apologize for wetting Tony’s dad-looking sweater. Peter just buries himself in his mentor’s shoulder, wanting to be wrapped up in his home again, to feel like he belongs somewhere again. He’s missed this so damn much…

“I missed you,” Peter whispers, voice high like a child’s. “So much…”

Tony laughs wetly, squeezing the teenager in his arms, and kissing his head many times. “I missed you too, kiddo. You have no idea.”

His right arm is a little more solid than the rest of his body, but it’s still the same arms that have always loved Peter. The arachnid isn’t hugging the armor this time. They’re not fighting an evil overlord. They’re home again.

Tony just calms him down and never once complains about how long it takes. He’s willing to stay forever if Peter needs it. Truly, he doesn’t know what he did to deserve… a father like Tony Stark.

Although he’s grateful, the black hole in him aches again, absorbing his joy. That’s how his life feels most of the time.

“I’m sorry,” Peter repeats.

“Peter…” Tony sounds pained.

“N-No, I mean it. You were all doing everything to welcome me, and I just… didn’t say anything. I just left.”

Tony just looks heartbroken, his flesh and mechanical arms wiping some of Peter’s tears for him.

“I thought…” Peter gulps. “I thought of leaving without anyone knowing. I didn’t feel right staying in there. Ever since I came back, nothing has felt right, but it feels like I’m expected to live like I didn’t literally die . A-And even though you’re trying to help me feel less alone… I still feel alone. And that’s not your fault.”

His mentor looks like he’s about to hug Peter the same way he did when they reunited, only for the boy to say more.

“I-I guess I’ve always felt like this, but… I still felt like I had something, before this all happened. But now, I don’t have anything and I feel like everyone has lived on well without me. You might try to include me, but… I can see it. I see how you guys interact. How… better you are without me.” He sniffs grossly. “The Guardians were gone for five years too, but they’re having so much fun, celebrating your return. I know I should be, too. I-I’m so relieved you’re back home, Mr. Stark,” Peter insists. “B-But I don’t feel like… I’m home. It’s like I lost it. Forever.”

The boy lowers his head, staring at the dirt, the ground reminding him of his own demise. He’s stepping on it like… he belongs there.

“I-I f-feel like… like…” Peter cries, scared of Tony’s reaction, “like maybe I shouldn’t have come back.” He feels so much like a little kid. And it makes sense, doesn’t it? Peter didn’t grow up with Tony. He’s stuck in a teenage body when he should be a young adult. “M-Maybe I… I should have just stayed dead.”

With the way Tony’s hands stop gently touching Peter’s face, the latter is sobbing furiously again.

Maybe now, he should leave.

Leave and never return.

Peter never wanted to admit these thoughts to anyone, because they just make him realize how much of a horrible person he is.

When his instinct tells him to run and hide, and never – ever – return, Tony’s left hand stops him, grabbing his arm firmly but not to the point of hurting it. If anything, it seems to shake silently.

“M-Mr. Stark, l-let me go,” he begs.

“You’re not better off dead.”

Tony is quiet and gentle, yet he appears to be close to breaking down, too.

“I-It doesn’t feel like it,” Peter bites.

“I know.”

The way Tony speaks… the way he’s rubbing Peter’s arm…

The boy wants to reject it, but he can’t.

“Let me help you, Peter,” Tony quietly pleads.

“Nobody can help me.”

“That’s not true.”

“Then why hasn’t it gotten better? Why do I keep losing everyone and- and everything? Why does life just get worse every time I think it’s going to get better?”

“Because it sucks. I know it does.”

Tony is behaving a lot like Nebula right now. They both speak from experience. Only here, Tony doesn’t explain where it comes from. Maybe because, right now, it’s not the focus.

“I’m…” Peter lowers the defenses. “I’m so tired, Tony.”

“I know, Pete.”

Like this, Tony is hugging him again.

“You can rest now,” he promises.

Peter cries once again, and it only hurts even more. Yet somehow, the crying is less desperate and loud. It’s more… here , if that makes sense.

He knows more than anyone that this is not enough for the black hole inside him. Nothing is enough for the black hole.

Still… Tony is able to quiet it down.

With just this one hug.

So, Peter just holds onto it.

It's true, then. That sometimes, a hug is really all you need to know that things will be alright.

They don't even notice the time pass until the Guardians come to say goodbye, though they almost retreat in respect, seeing that Peter and Tony were having a moment. Peter is the one who reassures them it’s alright. Each of the Guardians comforts the teenager in some way. Quill even suggests they should cruise in space some of these days, whenever he feels like escaping Earth. Obviously, with the glare Tony gives him, Quill ensures that Peter will have all the resources needed, including some great taste in music, or so he says. Either way, it… doesn’t actually sound like a bad idea.

Nebula promises she’ll keep visiting as well, or at least make video calls in case she’s stuck out there. She also tells Peter to keep in touch with her whenever he needs. He smiles and raises a hand for her to shake. She returns both gestures, and hopes he gets to feel better soon.

Rhodey and Happy still stick around the lake house while the spaceship flies away, mostly so they help Pepper clean the house. Peter would’ve helped, but Morgan takes his hand to show him his room. Not her room, but… his . Tony sighs dramatically that she ruined the surprise, but he joins the duo to what appears to be an untouched bedroom.

Morgan tells him to close his eyes and not peek.

“I have enhanced senses, Morgan,” Peter gently reminds her.

“Then turn them off!”

The boy giggles. “Okay, okay.” He even covers his eyes with his free hand.

Obviously, he can’t turn his senses off, but he keeps it up for her.

The room smells… very clean.

“O-kay, you can look!” Morgan instructs him.

When he sees…

He gasps.

Besides the exact same Star Wars posters he had at the Compound – and some new –, there are hand-made drawings of Spider-Man shooting webs. They’re all signed with Morgan’s name, and some appear to include Nebula’s as well. There are a couple colored lightbulbs, red, blue, and yellow gold, hanging in the ceiling, and then… Peter notices a few pictures by the other wall, most of which feature Peter and Tony in the lab, or whenever Pepper or Rhodey were able to capture them sharing a sweet moment.

But what really has Peter laugh and almost cry again is a photo of a small Peter Parker in the Stark Expo, Uncle Ben picking him up and laughing like his nephew was his whole world. The little boy, his true identity hidden behind an Iron Man mask, is pointing his toy repulsor at May, who took the picture while she also laughed like an angel.

“What do you think, kiddo?” Tony asks.

Peter laughs more, quietly. “I-It’s… It’s perfect.”

“I’m gonna design my own suits for you!” Morgan states rather determinedly.

“Oh, I would love that, Mo,” Peter squeezes her in a half hug, making her giggle. Meanwhile, Tony is looking at his kids with the proudest gaze he’s ever given someone.

Tony eventually leaves to help Pepper and the others, allowing Peter and Morgan to interact more properly. She shows him the books, comics and graphic novels she helped her father pick for Peter. Some of them were also hand-made stories about Spider-Man and his adventures, including his antics with Iron Man. As Morgan reads them to Peter (she sits on a chair next to his bed), the latter is very much invested. He knew that Tony probably told Morgan those stories, since they were all specific and familiar to Peter. Her comics bring the biggest smile to his face.

It feels like the day will never end, in the good way, when Pepper arrives (only she doesn’t interrupt them just yet, also looking like she probably took a picture of them like this, since she has her phone in her hand) to tell them it’s Morgan’s bedtime. Tony is next to his wife with curious eyes while the woman asks Peter if he’s going to stay overnight, as Happy is ready to leave and take him home if he wants.

As he lies in his bed, Peter… shakes his head.

“I’m already home.”

Tony looks like he’s about to cry at any moment, while Pepper and Morgan smile affectionately.

“You can come home whenever you want or need, okay?” Pepper touches his hair softly again.

“Okay.”

“Now, say good night to Peter, sweetie,” she tells her daughter.

“Wait! Can I kiss Petey good night?”

“Sure you can, Mo,” Peter smiles.

Thus, Pepper helps Morgan reach his forehead, her little lips touching it like it’s precious. Peter returns the affection with a smooch on her cheek.

“Nighty-night, Petey-pie,” Morgan says.

“Good night, honey,” Pepper kisses his head next.

“G’night.”

As the two leave, Tony comes in, silently, wearing a… Mandalorian hoodie. Mainly one where he’s protecting Grogu, if Peter is not mistaken. Tony doesn’t come to kiss him good night just yet.

“She read you the stories of Petey-pie?” He teases.

Peter snorts. “She’s the only one allowed to call me that.”

“You don’t have much of a choice here.”

They don’t really engage in further with the snark competition, not as Peter holds the blanket as if someone is going to take it away from him.

“Y-You’re not going to bed?” Peter asks.

“Yeah… but I still felt like my kid needed me. Guess you’re not the only one with Peter Tingles in the family.”

Peter rolls his eyes affectionately. Even then, Tony always sounds so… certain when it comes to the boy.

“This… might sound stupid, I dunno,” Peter gulps, “but… I d-don’t wanna wake up and… lose this, y’know?”

He expects Tony to reassure him that Peter won’t lose anything… only to come across the most tragic expression in the universe.

“... me neither,” the man whispers, likely something not even Pepper and Morgan know.

Peter doesn’t know what to say… other than shyly scooting over to the side.

Tony smiles sadly.

Once again, they haven’t cuddled in forever, and Peter forgot how good it felt.

“I missed my clingy spider-son,” Tony sighs in relief.

“Like you’re not clingy yourself.”

“Remind me again who’s the one being literally stuck right now?”

“Hmmmph,” Peter grumpily replies. Tony’s laugh feels contagious.

The former hesitantly touches the latter’s metal arm, then his brown eyes find Tony’s hairless right side, burnt skin now dark red, somewhat dead. Peter wonders if it hurts.

Tony, as usual, notices.

“Hey, you’re the one who needs attention here, bud,” he reminds him softly.

Peter looks away. “It’s different.”

“And it’s still valid.”

“Y-Yeah, but…”

Peter shakes his head.

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine, kid.”

“No, it’s not, I keep–”

“You keep being your best self, that’s what. And I’m very proud of you, Peter.”

The teen has lost count of how many times he’s wanted to cry today. He has cried since coming back, but never like this – maybe because Peter wasn’t even allowed to cry, or he didn’t feel like he was allowed to.

Peter clutches the older man’s hoodie, afraid of what just came to mind.

“What?” Tony questions.

The boy shrinks.

“W-When… When you��” Peter swallows. “When you snapped your fingers… d-did you want to die?”

Tony doesn’t tense at the question. If anything, he… relaxes?

“No. I didn’t want to lose Morgan, or Pepper… I didn’t want to lose you again. When I saw you crying for me… damn, kid. I felt like throwing Thanos far away to the other side of the galaxy, just to tell you I wasn’t going anywhere,” he replies, not sounding snarky in the slightest. “But there were many moments where I should’ve died. Moments where I thought… dying was the only option.”

Peter contemplates.

“What made you… not die, then?” He wonders.

Tony hums. “I never actually wanted to die.”

Something in the boy aches while hearing that.

“I was taught to believe my life was worth nothing. Even when I became Iron Man… they all told me I had to die to make peace,” Tony continues. “I still thought that when I was in the hospital. But every time I saw Morgan and Pepper, and Rhodey and Happy… every time I remembered Nebula was there for me in my darkest moment, and every time I remembered you were finally here and we could be together again… it gave me more strength than anything. It made me realize… that was the whole point. That’s the point of living. You get to live with people you love. You live to become someone you love, too.”

Peter remembers when Tony took away his suit, the way he was more disappointed than angry.

“That’s not a road that ends, nor is it an easy one. Mine began late in my life, but it’s worth every single mile.” Tony cups Peter’s face so they look at one another. “I’m sorry yours have been this bad, kiddo. I promise I’ll do what I can to help make it easier for you. I hope you get the breaks and support you need. Please, remember that you can count on us, for anything, even when it doesn’t feel like it.”

The moment Peter sniffs, Tony is cradling him like in those nights the boy had nightmares and needed to be comforted. Peter can only cling back with everything he has.

“I’m sorry,” he says either way.

“It’s okay, buddy,” Tony never gets angry. “One day, you’ll see that you don’t need to apologize for being you. One day, the emptiness will be easier, and calmer.”

At this point, Peter knows better than to get his hopes up.

But then…

Tony kisses his forehead and adds, “We’ll be here to help you see that day.”

And just those mere words seem to take away the tensions and calm the hungry, angry black hole in him.

Peter knows it’s just going to bite him back and make him question everything. But right now? He wants to believe Tony. Because it’s Tony Stark, because he’s a genius and a hero, and…

“... I love you, Tony,” Peter mumbles, muffled by the Mandalorian hoodie.

Somehow, the hero manages to hold him even closer.

“Love you too, kiddo.”

And just like before, Tony’s cuddles are the only way to make Peter sleep.

#peter parker #tony stark #irondad #morgan stark #ironfam #nebula #mcu nebula #death tw #suicide tw #suicidal thoughts tw #depression tw #grief tw #abuse mention tw #long post #fanfiction #hurt/comfort

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izosdualpistols · 2 years ago

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Zoro and The Smile He "Lost"

If I hear another fan say "Zoro lost his smile" I might actually explode and combust into flames.

I'm convinced most OP fans are either illiterate, in denial, or a mix of both. I am speaking from experience as I have argued with the "Yamato is not trans" bros.

It sometimes have me thinking that they've never read shit and just saw clips off tiktok.

OKAY. Zoro.

The man who has gaslit the entire fandom into thinking three sword style is cool - HEY! Don't run to comment something about this yet. You know full well biting down on a sword is ridiculous and if you did that in real life you'd get a fat disapproval from your fiancé's father.

That aside, I have to put it out here that Zoro is not the "I hate the world and I will slash everything" edgelord the majority of the no-brainer OP fandom takes him to be.

He's more than that and I'm here to prove it to you all.

It physically hurts to type this out but here is the wicked statement many fans believe to be true:

"Zoro would kill a crew member under Luffy's order."

This is where we point and laugh.

What I feel like most fans fail to understand is that Zoro is not some mindless minion that would do everything Luffy tells him to do.

Yes, Luffy is his captain, but that doesn't take away the right for Zoro to think for himself. He is able to speak and mind and lay out his opinions.

This is evident in Water 7 during the scene when Zoro finds out that Usopp wants to rejoin the crew after that harsh duel between him and Luffy.

His whole speech about "respect" was not there just for show. It gave us one of Zoro's beliefs and solidified his character even more.

Assuming we have that out of the way, it's time we finally get to the main topic. The topic that had me stressing ever since the discovery of it.

"Zoro lost his smile"

Don't get me wrong - I'm not encouraging emotionless jock boy Zoro. Never. But the term "lost his smile" is just so... off putting?

Zoro didn't lose his smile. He never did. Yes, we see more of his smirks and flashy evil grins than big laughs and soft smiles, but that doesn't mean he went Yaeger mode and is plotting to nuke 80% of the population.

No, no, no. Zoro is none of that!

Trust me when I say he's not gone emotionless. If we're talking about absence of emotions, we should be more worried about Sanji as a matter of fact.

Many people say he has started to be less expressive ever since his duel with Mihawk at the Baratie, so we'll start from there.

Through the duel's outcome, he comes to realize and experience for himself that the gap between his current self and the greatest swordsman is beyond far.

Not only was this a declaration of his loyalty for Luffy, but also a promise to his captain and himself.

He has set his goals straight and is now training everyday just to get even an inch closer to that title as the greatest swordsman.

He has set those standards for himself so he can have a clearer visualization of his end goal.

So when he lost to Kuma in Sabaody, not only did he break his promise, he has once again realized that gap between him and the New World. That is why he gets on his knees and begs Mihawk to train him.

The crew's separation had a big impact on Zoro, and so did the news of Ace's death (Once again realizing he wasn't strong enough back in Sabaody). So for 2 whole years, he has trained to get stronger - kicking his standards up a notch.

This flat out tells us why he delivered this line below:

"Get a grip", "This is just the beginning of New World"

Out of context, it sounds like an asshole thing to say. But if we take the reason why was so upset over Luffy letting his guard down around Ceasar (and losing once), they are words of concern in a way.

Zoro does not want the Sabaody incident to happen again. Being helpless under an opponent is the last thing Zoro wants. With this, we learn that he is not willing to let those 2 years go to waste.

His obsession with strength comes from his ambition - and his ambition is tied to Luffy's.

Zoro is a treasured member of the Straw Hats. Meaning he is aboard Sunny, under his captain, and sharing Luffy's dream. He's onboard it all.

We also get a little bit of insight on Zoro's character through Sanji, who says:

And he is absolutely correct. But Zoro is tough on himself for his ambition. He is pushing himself to be a man worthy of being the King of Pirates's right hand man.

Thus, realizing the importance his ambition and Luffy's ambition holds, this is the way Zoro becomes stronger. We are seeing Zoro, as one of the main fighters, stabilize the crew like the pillar he is - not going "emotionless" or "losing his smile" at that.

What a lovely post about Zoro I made. I just stated the obvious but SOME people just don't get it you know.. I am fending off any hardcore Zoro fanboys so get behind me.

#one piece #zoro #roronoa zoro #water 7 #punk hazard

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golbrocklovely · 7 months ago

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this is no disrespect to either of you three anons, so please don't feel like this is me trying to be a bitch.

but oh my GOD i don't care lol

i'll just say everything i feel about this here and then be done with it.

ms singer was a girl colby went on a few dates with, and was done "dating" her by like halloween or a little bit after. he didn't even know malia until sam's bday, so it's not like he left ms singer for her. ms singer herself has said she's on good terms with colby and that she has no hard feelings for malia, it's katelyn she has issues with.

colby unfollowing her on her bday was not done maliciously. he just unfollowed her, most likely, bc he has unfollowed every girl he either a, dated/had a fling with or b, found hot. shock and awe to absolutely no one, she falls into that category.

but also she's STILL talking about her beef with katelyn. and look, she has every right to talk about it as long as she wants to. i'm not here to say she can't vent. but let's be real for two seconds: first and foremost, fans are egging this on and we all know that. anyone that wants to argue otherwise is just plainly ignoring what is happening. ppl go on her tiktok lives just to ask her about katelyn so she can start complaining about her yet again. and the only reason fans want more tea on katelyn is bc they hate her bc she's not kat. full stop, full transparency, that's why that's happening. yall don't like tess; you just like that she gives you tea on a girl you hate bc she maybe once shaded kat when in reality if you have more than one brain cell you would know that's not what she did. stop being so up kat's ass that you think everyone is out to get her.

and secondly, tess can complain - sure. but she is talking about real ppl that are now dealing with real hate. it's the whole fuck around and find out method. keep talking shit on someone, and someone close to them (ie colby) is gonna stop fucking with you. why is this a surprise to anyone?

and i'm not here to say that katelyn is innocent. don't mistake me for that. i'm just saying, if katelyn was a shitty friend to her, then that's a shame. but the beef is very much between the two or them, and not us. stop egging it on for content reasons, or for twitter threads, or for whatever weird reason yall try to justify in your head this all for.

not only this, but colby and ms singer only dated MAX a month, but i don't even think that's the case fully. they went on a couple dates and stayed cordial. some of these fans are acting like he blocked his bestie or something. they remained friendly with one another bc things didn't end badly between them. they don't have to have loyalty towards one another, that includes colby. this isn't some betrayal. he unfollowed bc he's taken now, and she's still talking about his best friend's gf. it's really that simple.

dear god, all of this is such hs drama bs and i'm so tired of hearing about it, honestly. i'm too old to go back to my hs self who would have throughly enjoyed this drama. but seriously, can we find literally anything else to talk about??? i'm actually begging at this point.

and colby didn't unfollow ms singer bc malia told him to. he did it bc he wanted to. he's a grown man, as many on twitter love to point out every time he does something they deem as childish. why do you think this is any different?

also, sam and kat pretended to be besties after the break up. let's be real here. there clearly was some awkward tension left between them, but if they told the fandom they were going no contact and never talking again except maybe in passing, ww3 would have started. so they remained cordial to be appease fans (and probably themselves in one way or another). and realistically, kat probably made sam unfollow her (by blocking him/muting him/removing him as a follower) bc the day she did that was after pics of him and katelyn leaked from new years. realistically she probably wasn't thrilled about that and needed some space. it also didn't help that the khakis personified that is sam golbach decided to like a tweet that she made saying how nice her spotify top five looked without the "take a look at my bf" song, which CLEARLY WAS ABOUT HIM. he got his ass blocked after that, and rightfully so lmao

i would like to request - respectfully to all anons going forward - to stop bringing up ms singer, shea, and stas. hell, throw kat in there too. i don't care enough about any of them to hear what's happening about them. i'm tired of talking about them. some of them i've been talking about for years, i've said my piece on them countless times, and i just want something else to talk about. bc it's always the same stories over and over again and i just cannot care about it any longer.

also, since i might as well throw this in too, if you genuinely think snc are malicious in any compacity - STOP WATCHING THEM. why are you here if you genuinely think colby is a slutty manwhore who fucks anything that moves and is malicious and a shitty friend and whatever other random nonsense you think he is?? why are you here if you think sam is a terrible boyfriend who's also a bit of creep and has as shitty gf and again, whatever random other shit you believe???? why are you here???? you don't like snc anymore, and yet you waste your time talking about them. what you really like is the tea that comes from them and the ppl they have surrounded themselves with. i implore you to log off and find a hobby or a content creator you ACTUALLY like.

(also none of this was really directed at yall. more so the fandom et large. sorry if it felt like i was yelling at you guys. wasn't what i was trying to do here lol)

#ask #personal #cb ll #sg ll #i've had it. officially lol

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night-faye · 4 months ago

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You have gotta love Macky going all of S3 saying flat out "haha yeah I already died once lol" "bruh I wanna get AWAY from her" "you see, the tax revenue service of the dead is after my tush now" "leave me alone I don't wanna deal with y'all rn" "I'm just a monkey~ and LIFE IS A NIGHTMARE 🎶" <- I joke, but you'll see what I mean by the time this season concludes. And apparently everybody but MK is blind because he's one of the most hated villains 😂 sadistic murderer who enjoys this or something and has never faced consequences in his life how dare he. So funny, have they ever seen an animanga villain. Macky is the poster child for unwilling henchman, he's getting treated like a LOONEY TUNES VILLAIN he is Team Rocket blasting off again. He is getting the floor WIPED with his fuzzy behind, blub has been taking nothing but Ls this season those are consequences 🤣 you just can't take him seriously if he's falling off a ship and doing a cart wheel on his magic hover bike. I said it before and I'll say it again, take a sip of water everytime he gets hurt/triggered/traumatized and you will be SO HYDRATED. Btw, Mac + MK is called SoySauce Duo. MK + Wukong is called SunBurst Duo. ADORE the names. Mei + Red Son is, well idk their platonic duo name but they are called Dragonfruit. Wukong throwing NOTHING but shade at Macky who will actually deny going through the horrors as much as he will confess to them is just *hiss growl.* Same reaction! BUDDY ily but MAN what kind of divorce did you have 😂 oh I should note this down so I can bring it up to you later :) it's quite *gets dragged off stage* if you like that screenshot, I can promise worse is to come :) :) :) idk even in S5 its like people love Macky being submissive and subdued and tied up. Which is REALLY FUNNY considering his old personality 😂 he grew a spine, let him keep it. Are the AUs you're cooking by any chance including one where LBD really does erase memory of Macky from everyone right after he's fully redeemed himself and gained friends and family ;) OP I am SHAKING YOUR HAND because all these lines were ALSO more than I could've ever hoped for. After the way fandom treated villains in other series seeing Macky was like "omg are you FR" this was a guy deserving of all those meow meow comments <-- in a very serious 6 year fandom war splitting critique professional essay analysis way, but nada. 💀 its super funny bc if it's not hating canon Macky, it's hating JTTW Macky as if show!Macky was the same character. you gotta LOVE begging for people to read the source material in a fandom before coming up with wild takes, and then finding a fandom where people DO read the source material but. not like that. it's not an adaption like an anime to manga asdfghjkl.

It's like Macky was made in a pot just for meeeee~ (Once again. Botanicallyinclinednerd will tell you: I have a Type™ for favorite characters. it's predictable as hell and I CANNOT ESCAPE. And Macky fits right in with it to an absurd degree it's actually kind of insane)

I absolutely love those duo names. and oh my god DRAGONFRUIT? Adorable. perfection

They're like a sonnet. they rhyme

one of those AU's wasn't but it is NOW holy shit. delicious fucking food. that falls right in line with other shit I have ABSOLUTELY pulled. hehehHEHEHEHEHhHHEHhheheHEHHEEHE

#faye watches lmk #lmk #lmk anon #lmk asks #faye answers

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sortasirius · 4 years ago

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“Despair” and Dean and Cas

Well well well, winning is my favorite thing.

As usual, this is going to be as long as hell. And fair warning, it’s extremely emotional.

So here it is, the thing that we have been barrelling towards for years, literally years.

Just want to point out this. Also, I will NEVER allow someone to speak negatively about this writing group, EVER.

Team Free Dads starting off the episode is so sweet, so scary. Cas’ calming, Dean’s fear, Sam’s desperation, really just hammering home how much they love Jack, how his pain is pain for them, how losing him is unbearable.

“I can’t stop this. I’m coming apart. I don’t want to hurt you. Don’t let me hurt you.”

Oof. If you’ve ever question whether Jack is a Winchester, this line should shut that shit down for you.

When I tell you I was PISSED when Billie sent Jack to the Empty to EXPLODE????? PAIN.

“Yeah the Empty can’t come to earth, not without being summoned.”

Hello Bobo, clue number 1.

The fact that they only had Jack in limbo for like five seconds was great for my heart health, thank u very much Bobo.

Also Dean wielding Death’s scythe?????? KING?????

Man, Sam and Dean’s growth. The way that they’re able to, idk, actually speak on how they feel without death looming or fear or pain. It’s just a conversation, just an honest conversation of Dean admitting his mistakes, admitting how he felt. Admitting that he fucked up, and Sam forgiving him for it.

CHARLIE AND HER GF CHARLIE AND HER GF CHARLIE AND HER GF

Also...hunters and their “dates.” Two hunters who are happily together, who are happily fighting monsters. Hm. Sounds like a Saileen/Destiel parallel to me boys.

You ever wish Cas would look and the mirror and take the great advice he gives others? Because I do. He’s always tried to be “useful” for Sam and Dean, for Jack, always tried to make sure that he’s useful enough that they keep him around. But what he doesn’t understand, what he’s never understood, is that they need him because of who he is, not because of what he contributes.

Remind y’all of anything?

And here we have Clue Number 2

And then, Sam’s realization. Eileen.

Did I begin full tilt screaming no in my apartment when he said her name? Who’s to say?

How can a lock screen cause me this much pain????

Okay but: Charlie loses Stevie, Sam loses Eileen. Clue Number 3.

I feel like I don’t talk enough about how much Sam loves Eileen. About how obvious it is that they are endgame, about how happy he is when he talks about her. This just feels like a blow to the stomach, but we’ve barely even started.

Sam immediately shifting into protective leader mode? He is the love of my life.

Dean’s simple nod, like it’s a given? Enough to do me in right there.

This is another episode where it’s just so clear that Sam is the leader of the North American hunters. Everyone knows him, everyone is willing to follow him. He’s knowledgeable and kind and fair and just and an incredibly capable fighter. Once again, I don’t believe his work on earth is done.

Can we also please talk about how FRIGHTENING IT WAS for Jack to kill that plant??? I don’t really have much of a comment on it because I was literally just like ?????

With Billie saying that it’s Chuck, the way that people were dusted, very similar to Becky and Amara, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised, especially with Donna getting taken off the board. It’s like I said last week, I don’t buy that he’s taken himself off the board, he’s too invested in the unraveling of this story to take a step back. He’s gotta break them before he can defeat them, that’s the only way.

And here we go, into one of the most painful and surreal things I will ever write about.

Dean’s speech. His guilt, his regret. The shame of not only trapping himself, but the pain, the horror of trapping Cas.

“I just lead us into another trap. All because I, I couldn’t hurt Chuck. Because I was angry and because I just needed something to kill, and because that’s all I know how to do.”

“Dean-”

“It was Chuck all along. We never should have left Sam and Jack, we should be there with them now. Everybody’s gonna die, Cas. Everybody. I can’t stop it.”

His narrative arc. Tied up in a bow.

“She’s gonna get through that door.”

“I know.”

“And she’s gonna kill you and then she’s gonna kill me. I’m sorry.”

Cas smiles.

Cas knows. He knows what’ll get them out of this, and he knows that he would do anything in this Universe for Dean Winchester. The human man he fell for.

“When Jack was dying, I made a deal to save him.”

“You what?”

“The price was my life. When I experienced a moment of true happiness, the Empty would be summoned and it would take me forever.”

“Why are you telling me this now?”

“I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I’ve wondered what it could be, what my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer, because the one thing I want, it’s something I know I can’t have.

“But I think I know, I think I know now...happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being. It’s in just saying it.”

“What are you talking about, man?”

The most selfless thing Cas does in this, and he does a lot of selfless things, is to tell Dean Winchester how impossibly good he is. To tell him that he is worthy, to tell him that he is adored.

“I know, I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You’re destructive and you’re angry and you’re broken and you’re daddy’s blunt instrument. And you think that hate and anger, that’s what drives you, that’s who you are. It’s not. And everyone who knows you sees it, and everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raise your little brother for love, you fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are.

“You’re the most caring man on earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you outta Hell...knowing you has changed me.

“Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you, I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack, I cared about the whole world because of you.

“You changed me, Dean.”

“Why does this sound like a goodbye?”

Dean’s greatest fear. His fear of those loving him leaving him. The terror of being alone.

“Because it is.

The head shake. Don’t love me. Don’t love me if it means you’ll leave me, don’t love me, everyone I love leaves me. Don’t leave me. Don’t love me. Don’t leave me.

“Don’t do this, Cas.”

Just like I always thought. One last look at Dean before the Empty takes him.

“Cas-”

“Goodbye Dean.”

And Dean is left, broken on the floor, unable to answer Sam’s calls, unable to do anything. It doesn’t matter to him that Chuck has wiped everyone out, it doesn’t matter to him that Sam and Jack might need him. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter, because the thing that mattered still hangs on his lips, still waiting to be said, and now he won’t get another chance to say it.

The fact that I am writing this, even with all my spec, with all my analysis of the writers’ room, of their text, of the way Dabb and co had approached this story, nothing could have ever prepared me for this. Nothing could have prepared me for a three and a half minute, uninterrupted scene where Cas confesses not only that he loves Dean, but that he has always loved him.

I talk a lot about how these writers don’t get the credit they deserve. Unfortunately, from most of this fandom, they never will. We will likely never know the fights with the network they had, the steps backward they had to take, the way they had to beg and fight and claw to get this on the screen. But they did it. They did it for these characters, they did it for this dinosaur of a show, and yeah, they did it for us.

It was not easy, I can promise you, to get this greenlit. They had to fight for this, they likely had to call in favors and make threats and quite literally put their careers on the line (you may scoff at that, but WB is a BIG company, especially in the TV/movie world) for this story. This story of Dean and Cas, the man dragged out of Hell and the angel who fell for him.

I have tons more to say, and will likely have several more posts about this, but I want to leave all my babes who are worried that that was the end for Dean and Cas with some takeaways.

Sam is missing Eileen. Dean is missing Cas. That is no longer a fun subtextual parallel, that is it for them. Their respective endgames are missing, and they will not know their peace until they get them back. Chuck will not win. That’s not the story being told, and right now? He’s winning. He’s broken them, left them with nothing, left them with an empty world and a hole in each of their hearts where their person (or angel) used to be.

Our show is going to end with “contentment.” “Contentment” isn’t from Sam and Dean being filled with grief and hitting the open road. It isn’t Sam getting Eileen back and leaving Dean with no one. “Contentment” is Sam and Eileen, Dean and Cas. Together.

#destiel #spn #supernatural #my meta #destiel meta #spoilers #spn 15x18 #i cannot believe this #i cant believe i wrote this #this is real #theyre really canon

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alisonsfics · 3 years ago

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scare you away

pairing: steve rogers x reader

summary: steve rogers has always been someone you looked up to. you always ignored your romantic feelings for him because he was much older than you. when he starts ignoring you, you realize you can’t hide your feelings anymore. (requested by anon)

word count: 1.6k

warnings: significant age gap, swearing

You walked into the kitchen, still only barely awake. You were greeted by Steve, who was chopping up an apple for breakfast. “Someone’s tired” he said, smirking as he looked over at you. You just leaned into his side, too tired to hold yourself up.

He chuckled and wrapped his arm around your shoulders. You were so small in comparison to the muscular super soldier. You felt the butterflies appear in your stomach, just like they always did when Steve was around.

It was a stupid crush. He was old enough to be your dad even if you ignored the fact that he was technically over a hundred years old. You knew that he probably thought of you as just a kid.

What you didn’t know about was the huge crush Steve had on you. It made him feel horrible and creepy. You were so young and innocent, and he was an old man lusting over you. He was raised in a time where it was taboo to marry someone that was more than five years younger/older than you, but there he was: in love with a nineteen year old.

“Do you want to spar after breakfast?” He suggested, really only desperate for any excuse to see you. You slowly nodded your head. Your sleepiness was visible to the eye, from your half-open eyes to how you were practically moving in slow motion.

Steve couldn’t help but chuckle and point towards the coffee machine. “I made coffee. It might wake you up” he said, amused as he watched your eyes light up.

You quickly walked over to the cabinet and reached for a coffee mug. You struggled to reach, even on your tiptoes. “Here you go, sweetheart” Steve said, easily grabbing it and handing it to you.

Once the coffee had passed your lips, you felt ready for the day. He handed you a bowl of apple slices. “Is this where you give me a lecture about how important breakfast is?” You teased, gladly accepting the bowl.

A small grin slipped onto his lips. To him, you were the human form of perfection. He loved hearing you giggle or watching you get excited. All of your silly jokes managed to put a smile on the old man’s face.

“I still hate that they made me do those dumb high school videos. They just made me seem like an old man” he said. You loved to tease him about those videos. It was a nice little inside joke that the two of you had.

You both ate together in quiet silence. Once you finished, you jumped down off your stool. “I’ll take care of your dishes” Steve volunteered, already taking them from you. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself.

“Thanks. I’ll go get changed and meet you in the training room?” You suggested. He nodded in agreement, giving you a peck on the top of your head. You froze, shocked by the sudden action. He quickly apologized and bashfully looked down at the ground.

You felt the heat radiating off your cheeks as you walked back to your room.

Steve had always been a mentor to you, and you both were normally pretty affectionate. It wasn’t out of the normal for you two to be cuddling and watching a movie on a Friday night. There were sometimes when things would get a bit too affectionate, whether it was a kiss on the forehead or holding hands.

He always left you with a fluttering feeling and a schoolgirl smile on your face.

You grabbed a sports bra and some leggings out of your dresser and got changed. After throwing your hair into a ponytail, you headed down to the training room. You didn’t normally opt for a sports bra, but all of your athletic tank tops were dirty. So, you threw a light jacket over your sports bra.

You saw Steve through the giant glass windows. He was already lifting some weights. You opened the door, and he looked up to meet your eyes. He greeted you with a small smile.

When he turned around to set down his weights, you took the opportunity to admire his back muscles. You set down your workout bag and unzipped your jacket, throwing it on top of your bag.

Steve turned around to face you, and you saw his eyes go wide. You noticed his eyes roll down your body. Then, he forced himself to look up at your face. “I—ummm. I’m sorry” he mumbled over his words.

His cheeks were on fire as his face became bright red. He didn’t know where to look, so he settled for the floor. He was too ashamed to look into your eyes, but couldn’t stare at your body anymore.

“Actually...I can’t—I mean, I have to go,” his words were rushed and frantic. He didn’t even pick up his bag before quickly jogging out of the door. You were left all alone.

You looked back at where he had just stood, feeling nothing but confusion. You didn’t even know what to think. He hadn’t said much of anything before running out the door.

You slung your bag over your shoulder and went back to your room. You set your stuff back on your bed and heard people talking outside your door. You peeked out the door and saw Steve talking to Tony, Nat, Wanda, and Sam, who were all sitting on the couch.

You kept your door only cracked open, so they couldn’t see you. “Oh come on. Just tell her how you feel. It’s better than running around avoiding her” Natasha told him. Steve put his head in his hands. He had no idea what to do.

“She probably knows anyway. You aren’t exactly the most subtle. You two and your little movie nights” Sam said, chuckling. You wondered if Steve liked you and that’s what they were talking about. “You knew about that?” Steve’s cheeks became an even darker shade of red.

You could hear Wanda and Natasha whispering to each other about how cute you both looked when you were cuddling. You could feel your heart racing.

Did Steve really like you?

“Come on, Cap. How do you feel about her? Do you love her?” Tony asked, aiming for a serious answer.

The room was quiet for a moment. You thought they could hear your heart pounding as it rang in your ears. You stepped into the room, so you could hear better. They all saw you, but didn’t make any gesture so Steve wouldn’t know.

“Of course I’m in love in her. I think about her all the time. How could I not? She's the sweetest person I’ve ever met, and I love being around her. I love how she giggles when she tells jokes, and how she gets flustered when anyone compliments her. But at the end of the day, I am so much older than she is. She’d probably think I’m a creepy old man if she knew how I felt. She definitely doesn’t feel the same way, so what the fuck am I supposed to do?” He asked, running his hand through his blonde hair.

You couldn’t form the words to respond.

“Steve?” your voice sounded weak and vulnerable. He spun around and met your eyes. You saw the panic wash through him. “Oh shit” he mumbled to himself.

You could only think of one thing to say. “Is all of that true?” You asked him, still having a hard time believing. He nodded, but hung his head in shame.

“We’ll give you both a minute” Wanda said, before they all exited the room. You walked closer to Steve, but he still couldn’t look you in the eye. “Look at me” you said, softly.

His big blue eyes met yours, and you could see all of his worry. “So do you think I’m creepy yet?” His voice broke. You let your fingers slip through his, interlacing your hands. His eyes darted to your hands.

“I don’t think you’re creepy. I think you’re kind of cute” you said, bashfully. He tilted his head towards the side, confused by your words.

You watched his eyes glance down at your lips. “Can you just kiss me already?” You practically begged him. He chuckled before slipping his arms around your waist. He leaned in and slowly connected your lips.

He hesitantly pressed his lips against yours. Your grinned as you noticed his nervousness. You slid your tongue against his bottom lip, encouraging him.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, toying with the ends of his hair. You both pulled away as you heard whistling. You looked over your shoulder and saw Sam watching you both.

“Come on, let’s go” Steve said, taking your hand and pulling you towards your room.

Sam wolf whistled again at the both of you. “Ignore him” Steve whispered in your ear, before closing the door behind you.

You laid down on your bed and pulled him down with you. “How about we watch a movie?” You suggested, running your fingers through his hair.

He nodded his head before adjusting himself on the bed. He sat with his back against the headboard, and let you sit in between his legs with your back against his chest.

You ran your fingers up and down his legs beside you as you started the movie. He pressed a kiss to your temple.

“So why did you run out of the training room this morning?” You asked, glancing back at him. He chuckled to himself before answering you. “The sight of you in that sports bra. I felt like a creep ogling at you. I knew I couldn’t stop myself. I didn’t want to freak you out” he told you, scratching the back of your neck.

You felt the heat rush to your cheeks. “I wish you would’ve told me that. I was having a hard time not staring you, Mr. Muscles” you teased, leaning into his touch.

taglist: @laurakirsten0502 @miraclesoflove @nathaliabakes @millipop18 @azghedaheda @shyinadarkplace @vanteguccir @missroro @bookfrog242 @buckys-doll17 @ice-dtae @leyannrae @sia2raw @sunwardsss @studentville-struggles @impossibleapricotlampbat @infjkiki @weirdfishy @lickmymelaninn @hailey-a-s @andreasworlsboring101 @glassesandthunderthighs @holding-on-to-my-youth @fanofalltheficsx @lukes-orange-beanie @golden-hoax @mostly-marvel-musings @madisondelstan @spookyparadisesheep @n3ssm0nique @i-wish-i-knew-what-i-was @hyacinthhotch @ashwarren32 @who-the-hell-is-sebastianstan

Let me know if you want to be added to my taglist for all my imagines or for a specific character/fandom!!

Requests OPEN

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thesiriusmoon · 3 years ago

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Harry Potter ships I truly hate

Disclaimer: I’m not telling you who to ship and whatnot, I’m just expressing how awful these ships are to me and then explaining why.

1. Harry X Draco

Now this is coming from a former drarry stan who before, hadn’t read the books. I thought Draco ‘had no choice’ and ‘just wanted love’ until I opened my eyes and saw the character for who he really was. That is a spoiled blood supremacist who hates muggleborns, and is loved by both of his parents. Draco bullied Harry. Although Harry fought back, it was because he was the victim and had to defend himself. Harry never went out of his way to hurt Draco, but Draco did it constantly. Draco and Harry would never work because Harry hated Draco just as much as Draco did him. You could ship Harry with so many others that wouldn’t be toxic such as, Ginny, Cho, maybe Hermoine (but I prefer Romoine), maybe even Ron if you want to. (I don’t ship Harry and Cedric because the ages are too weird). It’s so obvious throughout the entire book that Harry didn’t have romantic feelings for Draco, he only ever thought he was doing bad things, seeing as he was a bad person. Harry found love in Ginny in like the fifth book? Which is when the crush started, and no one else was in the picture for him once he began dating Ginny. In conclusion, Ginny is the one he married and had children with, not Draco, because he hated him and wanted nothing to do with him as he was nothing but a bully who hated muggles and muggleborns. Seeing as Harry is a half blood, and his mother was muggleborn, why do you think Harry would turn around and be like “oh he’s just broken I’ll fix him.” And ignore everything Draco ever said about his family???? That’s such a toxic thing to think... because believe it or not, in a relationship you’re supposed to be with someone you like as a person. Just because you may find Draco attractive, that doesn’t make him a good person!! Harry would never choose Draco over anyone for that matter. If it were between Ginny or Draco to be saved, you better bet on Harry saving Ginny.

2. Hermoine X Draco

I genuinely hate this ship with my entire being. It disgusts me. This isn’t an enemies to lovers, this is literally bully X victim. Hermoine didn’t fight back, meaning Draco was the full oppressor and she was the oppressed. Draco is a blood supremacist who called Hermoine a mudblood constantly and hated her, and the feeling was mutual from Hermoine because why would anyone like their bully? Falling in love with your bully is a book trope, that doesn’t happen in real life. When Hermoine was being tortured in Malfoy Manor, Draco stood and watched because he didn’t care, meanwhile Ron, the boy Hermoine was attracted to and loved, was screaming and crying begging for him to take her place so she would be protected. That’s true love, something Hermoine and Draco will never have. I really will never understand why so many people love shipping victims with their oppressors... like do you get a sick kick out of it by babying the oppressor? Saying things like “oh he’s just unloved” or “he can change!” When none of that is true. Draco chose to be who he is, which is a blood supremacist and was loved by his family, and Hermoine chose not to ever engage with him because of his personality and attitude. Draco hated her, and everyone else like her because of their status, and overall, Hermoine just isn’t attracted to him. Hermoine is attracted to Ron and he’s the only person I can see dating Hermoine because everyone else would be a bit strange. Dramoine is unbelievably toxic, and all it does is romanticise abuse. “Oh Draco only bullied her for 7 years because he was afraid to love her.” Stfu. You’d never hurt someone you love. Draco bullied her because he thought he was ABOVE her, and she was nothing but dirt on his shoe.

3. Hermoine X Pansy

When it comes to fanon, I still don’t understand why it gets shipped because in order to do that, you have to change Pany’s entire personality to the point where it’s not even Pansy anymore. It’s just some nice girl with the same name. Because the real Pansy bullied Hermoine and made it known how much she didn’t like her. Not only that, but Pansy was head over heels for Draco. This isn’t an enemies to lovers, this is shipping the bully with the victim for some weird reason... because Hermoine didn’t fight back just like Hermoine X Draco. If they were both at each other’s throats I could see your enemies to lovers, but that’s just not what this is. If you ship them because you’re looking for a wlw ship, why not take a look at Ginny X Luna, Lavender X Parvati, or even Tonks X Fleur, rather than picking the toxic ship that would never ever work and would only hurt Hermoine. Ron Weasley exists for a reason. Again, shipping someone with their oppressor is a very weird thing to do. For example, Ron is a pureblood, but Ron wasn’t prejudice towards muggles or muggleborns, because he’s a decent and normal person. Pansy and Draco aren’t decent people, and they bullied people. Really there isn’t much else to say as all canon stuff about Pansy is about her bullying people, and encouraging people to capture Harry because SHE’S A BLOOD SUPREMACIST THAT’S ALL SHE IS. Hermoine is a strong and independent woman and would NEVER date someone prejudice like that, she has standards.

4. Lily X Snape

We have to stop with this “she can fix him” mentality, because women don’t exist to fix men. Either Snape was a good person, or a bad person. He should be able to choose that himself. Which he was actually, and he was very clearly a bad person. You can’t force someone to be attracted to another. Attraction forms on its own, and it’s something Lily never had for Snape, they were only friends. To say that Lily owed Snape something because he liked her... is so wrong and disgusting. If she doesn’t like him, she doesn’t like him and Snape should fucking move on instead of obsessing over her. But, Snape overall was a creep so you can’t say “oh he made a mistake” when that man knew EXACTLY what he was doing. Ripping Lily’s happy photograph of her with her husband and baby, and taking the letter she wrote for Sirius who Snape could pretend she did that for him. Literally disgusting. Even the friendship was toxic. When reading I realised that Snape played the victims card a lot when talking about the marauders as if he wasn’t doing WORSE thing to them. Lily knew that Snape wanted to join Voldemort, as seen in the books. ‘You and your previous little death eater friends — you see, you don’t even deny it. You don’t even deny that’s what you’re aiming to be! You can’t wait to join you-know-who, can you?” Then she says “I can’t pretend anymore, you’ve chosen your way, and I’ve chosen mine.” Lily PRETENDED that Snape wasn’t going to be a death eater because she didn’t want to believe that her own friend would hate her kind so much. Though once reality hit her she was gone and was never coming back. To ship someone who was oppressed with the oppressor is so weird and wrong, and I genuinely think you’re strange if you do that 😐. Snape already didn’t like Lily having other friends... so what does that tell you about what kind of relationship they would have? A manipulative one and an emotionally abusive one. James Potter was a pureblood, and not once did he ever bully someone for their blood status. He did things to Snape because Snape was a prejudice piece of shit and deserved it quite frankly. I would have done the exact same thing. Remember, the Potter’s were ‘blood traitors’ and Snape was a blood supremacist, of course the two aren’t going to like one another. But the difference is, Snape bullied innocent people (laughing at the fact Mary MacDonald was subdued to dark magic) and James fought back for those without voices. Getting revenge for people who couldn’t do it themselves. That’s the difference between a bully and a hero tbh. There’s no way Lily would ever date a death eater, she’s a strong woman who can make up her mind for herself rather than having people on the internet say things like “she was brainwashed!” And things like that. She became attracted and fell in love with a respectful man who would never cause her any type of emotional or physical harm.

In conclusion, I will judge you if you think shipping abusers/oppressors with their victims is ok in any way.

If you made it this far, feel free to comment or reblog with your own opinion. Just know that my opinion on these ships will never change because they’re all extremely toxic whether you like it or not. That’s just common sense. It’s canon that Draco, Pansy, and Snape were horrible people who liked to make fun of others. Fanon doesn’t mean a single thing in this because fanon isn’t real. If you have to change the entire personality of someone so they aren’t abusive... what does that tell you about their character? A lot of people do this because they like how a character looks, which is so tone deaf. If you think a victim should date their oppressor because of looks... I’m judging you heavily. If a character is wrote to be abusive, I don’t understand people do fan art of them with the people they hurt in a romantic way.

You might say I’m being over dramatic, but really it’s not that hard to understand that you shouldn’t romanticise abuse or say that oppressor X victim would make the perfect couple just because of their looks.

Would you ever ship Neville with Draco? No you wouldn’t. And it’s not for the reasons you would think. I bet if Neville was conveniently attractive (in the books, I love Matthew.) people would have shipped him with Draco despite Draco mercilessly bullying Neville for 7 years. A lot of people would have made excuses like “Draco was broken!” In order to be able to ship two attractive men together. (Which also plays into fetishisation of lgbt+ couples I think...) This fandom is rather toxic when it comes to this, and they’d rather ship a very abusive relationship with two conventionally attractive people rather than a loving one with two people that aren’t.

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doesitmatterseriously · 3 years ago

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Okay, here are some of my favorite finished darklina fics. I have like a shit ton book marked but I come back to these a lot. And the fics helped me since the books sucked so god damn bad. Any waysssss, check em out on ao3.

1. Bedroom hymns by destinies @destiniesfic

You need to read the “Out of Time” story in order to get this. I loved “out of time” but bedroom hymns is told from Alexsander’s pov. It’s kind of infuriating right away because she captures the personality of the character so right. That he could win everything and yet his ultimate downfall will always be his arrogance. Caution, Very very unenthusiastic consent is in the first part then enthusiastic consent. It’s just fascinating to see this point of view because technically he won everything except for what he truly wanted. also this fic writer is one of my favorites for FOTA and darklina.

2. Between Midnights by vuas

Dude vuas can write for literally any fandom. I’d beg to read her damn grocery lists. The writing is out of this fucking world! Okay, enough fangirling. This story is about an arranged marriage and it is fucking fabulous. It’s part of a series of hers called the “marriage verse” and she incorporate humor, sex, and doesn’t dial back on any of the struggles this couple would face. I know im not giving good plot info but just read it. The ending is to die for. Also literally anything by vuas is fucking amazing. She has a gossip girl fic that I squealed at.

3. Nocturne by amplifierverse @stupidlyentangled

A fic where Alina lost the war and has to marry darkles. Is one of the best ones I’ve read because they actually get over their shit at the end. In a realistic way towards the characters. It takes that whole “but you could make a better man” thing. Except Alina doesn’t. He kind of deals with his shit(in his way)

And my all time favorite. I’ve literally accepted this one as canon because I fucking hate the ending and the books.

“start a war” by njmja (and all the stories in that universe)

This one is my favorite because we get a satisfactory ending. She does have to change the darkling in a way because he becomes more patient. I feel like in the books the author saw that people like the darkling and then she just made them into a cardboard villain cut out. This fic has him actually back off and let Alina live and then she becomes jaded herself and then he actually has to rescue her. It’s interesting because both characters are very much the same and yet different because time will do that to you. I genuinely recommend reading this if you were unsatisfied with the ending. If you were not unsatisfied with the ending then….well…you probably will hate everything I’ve recommended.

There are a lot more that I can recommend but I really want to keep this short. Whenever I was literally so pissed off about the ending because it was just a waste of potential AND characters, these fics helped me through. I mean to the point where I literally consider one of them canon in my mind. There are so many great fics out there so it’s really hard to narrow it down and only recommend four. But these ones stayed with me. Especially because these writers kept it true to the characters they were writing about. The whole thing with this couple is that they won’t have a happy ending. They are dysfunctional. ANY happy ending they actually have is due to a great amount of compromise and work amongst themselves and most of all TIME.

Caution, all these have sex in them. That’s kind of a thing with these characters. The darkling craves intimacy. Not just regular sex but actual intimacy. At least that’s what he craves from Alina because she is the only one who can truly understand him. It’s one of the things that makes him such a tragic character.

I honestly believe that the author really screwed his character over because she saw that people actually liked him. The author of the grisha Trilogy has made it clear that she hates the darkling. She just did his character so badly.

I understand that he was meant to be a villain yet in some parts he was morally grey and he actually had a goal (one that was perfectly understandable based on the persecution the grisha go through) . But there was so much emphasis placed on him being patient then that all went out the window and I’ll never understand why so that’s why I believe “start a war” really could genuinely be an actual ending because he showed that he could be patient yet he just goes off the walls in the grisha books and completely changes character.

Maybe it was because he had waited so long but I also believe he had it in him to actually wait for Alina. He wanted to protect grisha but he also just wanted to not be alone anymore.

It makes “bedroom hymns “ so sad in a way because of this. The darkling was written as a complex character and then just literally thrown in the trash and became an apathetic ass and cardboard cutout of a villain. What a fucking shame.

These are in no particular order! Except I DO accept “Start a War” as the actual ending lol.

Hope you guys enjoy. Also, please save the whole “ stop romanticizing this couple because they’re toxic” yah,I’m aware. But I like what I like. I tagged the tumblrs I could find. But once again, I know a woman cannot change a man. I just feel the grisha books turned into trash. I enjoy the fics so much more. They stay true to his messy ass and Alina’s messy ass.

#shadow and bone #alina x darkling #sankta alina #alina starkov #ao3 fanfic #the darkling #darklina #shadow and bone netflix

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hmslusitania · 3 years ago

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I see we're going ape over buddie and Choices tonight so

Yknow in 2.07, when Shannon comes back and her and Eddie have their first scene together? The argument at the end, after Eddie says it wouldn't be a good idea for her to see Christopher bc she left them, she says she needed him, she needed a husband and a co-parent - and "I needed someone to have my back!"

To which EDDIE says, "I always had your back"

*insert Incredibles "coincidence? I think NOT" gif here*

(Also side note, I do like that the show doesn't try to sugarcoat what Shannon did being messed up, and that Eddie's own actions weren't really the right thing either[thinking about his conversation with Buck where he says he got to pretend he left for a noble cause even tho he was running], and that it was just a sticky situation that neither of them were equipped to handle in any way, and snowballed. I do kind of wish we could've gotten post-divorce Shannon and Eddie and Christopher interactions, figuring out how they fit together, if at all, bc I like those intricate and messy situations but I could see how that might get too close to retreading old ground re: Michael and Athena's divorce. But I do hate how ive seen the fandom like. Seem to oversimplify things with Shannon sometimes? And make her the ultimate villain, and Eddie Did Nothing Wrong, Ever)

Hi Anon!

The decision to have Buck and Eddie's first bonding moment end with "You can have my back any day" and "or, y'know, you could have mine" only to then six episodes later find out that at least a contributing factor to Eddie's marriage dissolving was that he "didn't have her back" is like. Such a galaxy brain chaos move for them to take, honestly. Like?? They could've had the phrasing be literally anything in 2x07 but instead they had it directly echo Buck and Eddie in 2x01. What was the reason? Why did they do this?

As for the rest of your ask:

(gosh this got long and, uh, opinionated. It is Not Pretty below the cut)

One of the things I really liked about Eddie Begins is that we did get to see him at the beginning of his journey in being Chris's dad because it gives us an opportunity to appreciate how amazingly he's grown as a father. Like, he didn't start out as a perfect dad and he was definitely kind of lost in the woods at the beginning there when it came to the whole "how do I parent" thing. And before Eddie Begins, we'd only ever seen the end result of the growth he's gone through, where he really is a fantastic dad whose son is basically his entire reason for being. Before Eddie Begins, we get to hear him say things like "I left first" and "I've failed that kid more times than I can count but I love him enough to never stop trying" but we kinda have to take that on faith? Because we hadn't actually seen him be anything besides a good dad until we saw his Begins episode. (And even then in his begins it's like "area man in his early 20s unsure how to care for small child while also coping with PTSD and a toxic support system" which like. yeah. no shit. there's one hell of a learning curve there)

The thing about Eddie and Shannon as a couple and as parents that always gets to me is that they were so fucking young. We don't know exactly how old Eddie is in the show, but we can guesstimate pretty safely that he's around the same age as Ryan which would make him between 23 and 24 when Chris was born, and it seems reasonable to believe Shannon was around the same age. It's also a pretty common reading in the fandom -- although I'm not sure how much canon support there is for it because we really, really don't know anything about their relationship pre-Christopher unless I'm forgetting something -- that they got married because Shannon got pregnant and that was the Done Thing. And when you're 23-24, baby on the way, freshly married, that is just like. So much. It sure as hell ruined my parents' relationship when they did that exact thing, and then they disliked each other until they were 27 and then they got divorced, and no one was happier than me about it, I have to tell you.

Back to the show, I can only give you my impressions, obviously, but the impression I have always gotten from the whole "I left too" conversation and the context that goes into it and the different behaviours we see exhibited by the characters is that Eddie "left" first and it comes across to me that he was basically an early twenty-something kid running scared from the abstract concept of being a father in general, and then when he was forced home by an honourable discharge, and was confronted with the reality of Christopher, he managed to step the fuck up and become Christopher's dad. It's there in 2x02, right? "Oh, you've got a kid? I love kids!" "I love this one." Eddie doesn't strike me as a Swiss Army Knife all-purpose Dad(tm) the way Bobby is. Eddie is Christopher's dad. (and like, of course, he's obviously moved by kids when he's on a call, we've seen that enough times to know that if there's a child who can even glancingly remind him of Christopher, Eddie's sense of self-preservation goes out the window, and I love that about him as heart-stopping as it can be in practice)

Shannon, on the other hand, didn't run from the idea of being a mother -- at first. When she left, it wasn't from the abstract. She left Chris (and "gave up" on Eddie, thanks Helena). She was not running from a concept, she was running from a reality. I think Shannon is a fascinating character to include in a television show as a side character, because she really isn't a one note character. Like, she was unarguably a bad mother, and from what we saw, she was a questionable romantic partner to have (but as you said, anon, Eddie was also not 100% the best romantic partner when he was with Shannon either; their entire relationship so far as I can tell was built on sexual chemistry which, uh, super does not sustain a relationship), but she also seems to have been a devoted daughter? I mean, yeah, it's entirely possible that her mom being sick was a convenient excuse to bail -- and obviously she didn't come back after her mom died, and didn't, y'know, contact her son or husband in the interim, so yes, I can see that being a valid way to read the situation. I don't think she's the Ultimate Evil, because she strikes me as a very human character in all the ways that people are more often than not really fucking flawed.

But then we get back to the actual break-up scene. The first time I watched it (and second, and third; then the fourth time the person I was watching with was like "I mean, sure, but it could also be read in this light") her "I'm just learning how to be someone's mother" speech really bothered me? Partly because it was the abstraction of it, right? Eddie doesn't like kids, he likes Christopher, and Shannon sort of had the inverse journey there, I guess, where it went from she didn't know how to be Christopher's mother, to she didn't know how to be a mother. And that speech bothered me because it always sounded to me like she was bailing again. She begged Eddie to let her back into Christopher's life (guilt? I guess?) and like, straight up bribed him with sex which was sure a choice, and then decides -- for a second time -- that she's out. It sounded, to me, she was handing Eddie papers and maybe, in a few years, possibly, once she'd had "time" to "figure out how to be someone's mother" she would try again. Just like she had in the interim between leaving when Christopher was little and the time of season 2.

And like, that could totally be a misunderstanding of the scene and what she was saying. It's what I took away from it, but that could very well be influenced by the fact I was raised by divorced parents and my dad had custody and if you count up all the time I spent with either parent when I was a minor, I was predominantly raised by my father and have had an especially tempestuous relationship with my mother that is mostly (sometimes) repaired now that I'm in my late twenties and have not lived with her since I was sixteen.

Back to the show, and to your comment that the fandom tends to treat Shannon like the Ultimate Evil and act like Eddie Did Nothing Wrong, I mean. Yeah. Fandom as a rule tends to shirk nuance. We're all fools here on the internet sitting in our blue industrial waste container crying about a wee woo show. I personally believe a more nuanced take on that might be that Eddie has shown a great capacity to learn from his mistakes (sometimes to make fun, shiny, new ones, but for the most part, just like ends up doing better the next time) and Shannon did not show that capacity in the time we knew her.

I think, depending on what they did with it, there was potential for an interesting storyline if they'd played through the divorce. I don't think it would've been rehashing ground covered by Michael and Athena's divorce because I can't see Eddie and Shannon having reached a point of amicability and friendship. The only thing we know they had in common was Christopher, and frankly, when you boil it down, the ways they engaged with Christopher as a person were so disparate that -- to me -- it really didn't seem like they had Christopher in common when you get right down to it. But I wouldn't have wanted to see Christopher and Eddie dragged through an ugly divorce process. They deserve better than that.

There's also a conversation to be had about Shannon's blatant ableism towards her own son, but that is extremely not my lane since I am not disabled myself. But even from an outside perspective, basically their entire parking lot conversation in Haunted, uh, haunts me with it's repugnance and the fact that instead of calling her on any of it, Eddie "Chronically touch starved" Diaz's response was to kiss her? Gosh golly do I wish that was one of the mistakes he learned from properly instead of finding a new, shiny version.

ANYWAY this got long, tl;dr (although if you clicked on the read more, you probably read it) version is No, Shannon is not the Ultimate Evil, she's a shitty mom not a demon in a skin suit and a pretty yellow sundress; and No, Eddie is not a flawless human who's never done wrong in his life but holy fuck is he trying and he'd be the first person to tell you he's made mistakes (and often has been); and no, sorry, I don't want to see the divorce storyline play out because we probably would've had to see either Eddie Bashing, Shannon Redemption, or Shannon turning up again like a cardboard cut out of a cartoon villain the way Eva did and I want to be witness to exactly zero of those things.

#the ghost ship answers questions #I...honestly don't know what to tag this as #I have thoughts about eddie and shannon's relationship #that are probably unpopular opinions #teal dear she's a shitty mom not a demon in a skin suit and a pretty yellow sundress #and I also don't like her for personal reasons #and eddie is not perfect but I wouldn't want him to be and like seeing him try to improve constantly #and also am personally predisposed to like single dads #also for personal reasons

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spencstan · 4 years ago

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Six of Crows re-read

(i also did this for the shadow and bone trilogy so read that if you want to)

spoiler alert obiously

i'm SO EXCITED FOR THIS this is my comfort book (with crooked kingdom of course)

JOOST HI

oo fun fact this was my first grishaverse book and i read it with no context whatsoever except that the mc is an emo boy and morally grey

so IMAGINE my pure confusion when JOOST appeared

i was like ?????? weird take on morally grey character but ok

joost trying to figure out how to flirt with a girl is a mood

anyone wanna teach us how to???

i kinda wanna skip this part so i can see the crows..

but i won't don't worry

(won't I?

"I think Yuri may be quarantined"

aaaand?

so are we you are not special

i feel like it's very important for me to mention that i read this book in spanish first

and then i got into the fandom and i was like who the fuck is the wraith? i only know El Espectro

Heartender who??? ooo you mean Cardio

Tidemakers? nope, i only know Maremotores

for real i was so confused i had to re-read it in english (not that i mind tho)

say whatever you want about the spanish version but we have to agree that this design is pretty af

another one yay: "Retvenko was a Squaller" vs. "Retvenk era un Impulsor"

(should i also say that in my pfd english version the book is 294 pages long and in my pdf spanish version its 532????) (i think it's because in the english one the speces are way less like the lines are so close together wtf

i've decided that i'm bored so i'll be skiping this chapter

anya is super badass tho

skdgfalsdgfliaysvfascvhjl yesssssss inej

Kaz Brekker didn't need a reason.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

KAZ

INEJ

I MISSED THEM

omg now i can picture amita and freddy SDJGKASKGLASG THIS IS AMAZING

we interrupt our regularly scheduled program to watch the shadow and bone trailer once again to hear freddy's beautiful voice

ok moving on!

now hear me out i'm giving you all permission to make fun of kaz for this one: Dirtyhands = Manos Sucias

hello i am Kaz Manos Sucias. nice to meet you!

AAAAA

AAAAAAAAAA

JESPER FAHEY

JESPER LOVE HI

SJDGHFKAHSGDLAJSDFSJ,AHFLHDSGF

I MISSED HIM OMG

OMG NOW I CAN PICTURE HIM AS KIT

can you tell jesper is one of my favourite characters?

i really love the fact that kaz is pissed about the murder of that ambassador ONLY because he can´t figure out how it happen

he´s such a nerd

i can't believe one of the firts things we hear jesper say is threathen to kill someone by writing "forgive me" with bullets

AND HE CALLS HIS GUNS "BABIES" OMG

picture saying hi baby and wylan thinkin he's talking to him but actually jesper's talking to one of his guns

Jesper rolled his eyes. "It's about sending a message. What's the point of a dead guy with forg written on his chest?."

"Compromise," Kaz said. "I'm sorry does the trick and uses fewer bullets."

ooo thank god we have kaz to come up with creative solutions /j /s

honestly i love how they talk about kaz's cane like it's the scariest weapon ever (which it kind of is)

nothing will ever disappoint me more than finding out that in english their gang name is "the Dregs". like i don't even know for sure what that means

in spanish is "Los Indeseables" (the undesirables?) which sounds a lot more badass

no hate tho i like the dregs

but i was confused af bc i expected it to be sometihng like "the undesirables" or"the unwanted" or whatever

and it said "the dregs"

which in the translator means something like shit or something

anways moving on:

If he'd (kaz) ever been a little boy

i love how lowkey all the crows think he was just born exactly like he is now

imagine a baby kaz all dressed in black and threatening people

cute

"No mourners," Jesper said as he tossed his rifle to Rotty

"No funerals," the rest of the Dregs murmured in reply. Among them, it passed for "good luck".

YES

YESSS

i wonder what wylan's doing right now :))

i can't wait for the next book where he has a pov

the first time i read this book i literally looked at the title of every chapter to see if he ever got one (i was disappointed to say the least :((((

Besides, she was the Wraith - the only law that applied to her was gravity, and some days she defied that, too.

ma'am

marry me please

i'm gonna cry so hard once the show is out and we get to see inej omg

me simp

That Kaz had chosen Jesper to be one of his seconds was no surprise. Twitchy as Jepser was, with or without his revolvers, he was at his best in a fight, and she knew he'd do anything for Kaz.

idk why but i just love it every time kaz implies or shows that he cares or trusts jesper

it makes me soft

But every one of Inej's senses told her that was not how this was going to play out. Her father would have said the shadows were about their business tonight. Something bad was going to happen here.

underrated saying from Inej's father right there

"I'm a business man," he told her."No more, no less"

"You're a thief, Kaz."

"Isn't that what I just said?"

i see no lies here

not to be annoying but i hc jesper as adhd (i mean is pretty much as canon as wylan's dyslexia) so i'm gonna write here every time i see evidence :)

jesper with adhd part 1: impulsivity

Jesper snorted. "Stomach, spine. What's next, spleen?"

"Shut it" Oomen snarled. The rules of parley dictated that only the lieutenants could speak once negotiations had begun. Jesper mouthed "sorry" and elaboratedly pantomimed locking his lips shut.

he know he couldn't speak but couldn't stop himself from making a comment (i relate way too much to that lmao)

hoestly poor jesper he had to watch hid friend get shot and kaz do nothing about it

i would've been mad too

"I like it when men beg," she said. "But this isn't the time for it"

KAHGFAHLGSFGASFLGSAFS

this is one of the best quotes in the book by far

YASSS KAZ POV

Kaz could have tol Jesper that he knew he wasn't dirty, reminded him that he'd trusted him eough to make him his only real second in a fight that could have gone badly wrong tonight.

cute

but kaz is petty af

he didn't even have a reason not to tell jesper that!

i love that kaz knows inej is following him but doesn't say anything because he wants to wait until she's ready

i LOVE the scene where kaz in in the van eck mantion /srs

idk why but it's so good

And, of course, there was the mystery of Van Eck's son.

wonder what that could be!!! /s

He grinned at her (...)

"Hmm." she said noncommittally, pretending to examine one of her knives, determined to ignore that grin.

KANEJ YESS

HE'S BASICALLY SHOWERING IN FRONT OF HER OMG

this is so funny poor inej is getting flustered

"And I'll need Wylan waiting at the Crow Club tomorrow night."

YES WYLAN OMG

One minute he made her blush and the next he made her want to commit murder

happens to the best of us :/

"Please, my darling Inej. treasure of my heart won't you do me the honor of acquiring me a new hat?"

if kaz doesn't say this on the show we riot

agreed?

it's so amazing how nina found a way to use her powers to get money instead of having to like steal and murder like the rest in the gang

NINA'S POV YESSS HIII

nina and inej omg

their friendship is just perfect

POOR MATTHIAS HE HAS TO FIGHT THE WOLVES

i would straight up cry

Matthias was dreaming again. Dreaming of her

i'm gonna cry damn it

this is the enemies-to-lovers we all needed

jesper has adhd part 2:

"Jesper was supposed to wait until three bells." said the pale boy

"It is three bells, Kaz." replied a small girl (...)

"Since when is Jesper punctual?" the boy complained with a glance at his watch

the time blindness come one

(btw i love the fact that kaz plans around jesper's time blindness instead of like threatening him to be on time)

i really love how every one feels the need to take the time to say/think that the masks are ugly

its so unnecessary lmao

yessss inej is a badass that kills monster we stan

and matthias is lowkey impressed lmao

as he should

"Thank you, Jesper," said Nina

"You're very welcome, gorgeous. See, Kaz? That's how the civilised folk do"

THESE TWO OMG

JESPER IS THE LOML

INEJ OMG LOOK:

She stepped aside as if she's known he was coming, languidly hooking her heel behind his ankle. Matthias let out a loud grunt as he landed on the stones

(...) "Clumsy, this one," the bronze girl said impassively.

that's what happen when you underestimate her bitch

AAAAAAA

PEOPLE

TIME TO FREAK OUT

WYLAN IS HERE

AND HE'S DOODLING STOP IT'S SO CUTE

ok jesper has adhd part 3 i think:

"Just how crazy is he?" asked Jesper, fingers drumming on the pearl handles of his revolvers.

ok first of all: stimming

second of all: hyperactivity

i rest my case

ok 2 or 3 things here

"I believe you know Nina," Brekker continued. "The lovely girl freeing you is Inej. (...) and this is Wylan, the best demolitions expert in the Barrel"

"Raske is better," Inej said

The boy looked up, ruddy gold hair flopping in his eyes, and spoke for the first time. "He's not better. He's reckless"

"He knows his trade"

"So do I"

ok 1: kaz calling inej lovely omg kanej

2: YES WYLAN STANDING UP FOR HIMSELF

2.5: kaz calling him the best cute af

3: honestly why do people think wylan is like an innocent soft boy or whatever. he's in a room full of murderers and thieves and the first thing he does is correct them and stand up for himself

like i wish i could do that

i would be crying like a bitch

AAAAAAAA

"Meet Wylan Van Eck"

KHDSGFALSGFIASGFAL

HI WYLAN BABY

YESSS JESPER'S POV NOW

I'M SO HAPPY also look at this it's the first thing in his pov

Jesper stared at Wylan

do i sense some wesper?????

ok everyone is being so mean to him right now

they are aclling him useless and an idiot and other shit

poor boy honestly he had to deal with this + taking part of a heist he is definetly not ready for + he has to hide the fact that he can't write or read

it so distrubing that kaz is literally the nicest one to wylan right now

"See that? Hidden depths." (...)"He's good enough at demo, and he's got a fine hand for sketching, thanks to all those pricey tutors."

(...)

"There you have it," Kaz said to Jesper. "Marketable skills. Wylan is watching you, Helvar"

GET READY

ARE Y'ALL READY?

OK THEN:

"Scheming face," Jesper whispered to Inej.

She nodded. "Definetly."

THEIR FRIENDSHIP OMG

AND THIS QUOTE

I NEED IT ON THE SHOW THEY BETTER GIVE IT TO US

"Who's Mark" damn wylan (but pretty good comeback to jesper tho)

"What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?

"Knife to the throat?" asked Inej.

"Gun to the back?" said Jesper.

"Poison in his cup?" suggested Nina.

"You're all horrible," said Matthias.

tag yourself i'm jesper

KJSFGAL kaz just told wylan to tell him everything he know about his dad's company

and he said he doesn't know and kaz was like "and you never looked trough his documents????

AND THEN HE GOT SAD AND SAID HE HADN'T (and kaz believed him this is sad)

AND NOW JESPER CALLED HIIM USELESS

ok you know i love you jes but if you keep this up

idk i can't do anything you're a sharpshooter

but stiiiiiil

LMAO MATTHIAS ACTUALLY THOUGHT HE COULD BEAT KAZ

nice try

demjin

*insert spongebob voice* demjin

WE'RE GONNA TAKE A MOMENT NOW TO APPRECIATE INEJ GAHFA

BECAUSE KAZ DOESN'T

The heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true.

*ugly crying*

Many boys will bring you flowers. But some day you'll meet a boy who will learn your favourite flower, your favourite song, your favourite sweet. And even if he is too poor to give you any of them, it won't matter because he will have taken the time to know you as no one else does. Only that boy earns your heart.

*uglier crying*

TANTE HELLEN IF YOU DON'T GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

SOMEONE PLEASE STAB HER FOR ME

jesper has adhd part ?? (i have dyscalculia you can't expect me to remember the number):

That sound - the swift, shocking report of gunfire - called the scattered, irascible, permanently seeking part of his mind into focus like nothing else.

do i really need to explain this?

ok just in case.. an adhd brain doesn't actually have a deficit of attention(the name just sucks) it's problem with controling that attention. the brain is always looking for new sources of dopamine which is why it shifts its focus so much

i love that jes thinks of matthias as "tha giant"

like sir

have you seen yourself?

you're tall af

HE GOT SHOT

WHY DID I FORGET JESPER GETS SHOT IN THE LEG HERE

"Close your eyes!"

"You can't kiss me from down there, Wylan"

"Just do it!"

i love the energy BUT NOW IT'S NOT THE TIME JES

YESS WYLAN SHOW THEM THEY WERE WRONG CALLING YOU USELESS

inej just stabed some guy int the d

good for her!

KAZ YESSSS HI

AWWW SHE'S WORRIED HE DOESN'T HAVE HIS CANE

KANEJ FOR LIFE

oh no wylan got shot too???? (just barely but stilllll por baby)

my Wraith omggg

ok 3 things about this:

Without another word, he tipped Oomen into the sea.

"No!" Wylan shouted, leaning over the railing, his face pale, stunned eyes tracking Oomen in the waves. (...)

Jesper set his hand on Wylan's shoulder. "Let it go."

"It's not right-"

"Wylan," Jesper said, giving him a little shake."Maybe your tutors didn't cover this lesson, but you do not argue with a man covered in blook and a knife up his sleeve"

1. wesper yasssss

2. wylan just argued with a mant hat had just tacken the eye out of someone. he literally called him out for being an asshole. like damn wylan is brave af i love him

3. do you think seeing kaz trow the guy out of the boat reminded wylan of when the same thing happened to him???? this makes me sad

he's brave and a good person and i just-

"Man with a knife, remember?" he said over his shoulder.

"Man with a gun!" Jesper called after him

this had no right being so funny

AND THEN KAZ GAVE HIM THE MIDDLE FINGER STOP I CAN'T

nina is the biggest kanej shiper no one can tell me i'm wrong

unrelated but if jesper had gone to the Little Palace and had studied there with nina they 100% would've had a crush on Zoya and bonded over it

like you can't tell me those two bisexual disaster wouldn't be absolutely in love with Zoya

jesper has adhd part ??:

Jesper scrubbed the back of his neck, touched his hands to his gunds, returned to his neck. He always seemed to be in motions

hyperactivity right there

and restlessness

"Do you know the best way to find Grisha who don't want to be found?" (...)

"Seems to be if they don't want to be found, you should just let them be" (jesper says this)

this conversation must be so stressful to him omg

LMAO JESPER CUT MATTHIAS HAIR THIS IS SO FUNNY

AND HE SHAVED HIM

ok you all know i love all of them but they can be sooo stupid

like wylan wrote no names on the drawing and he's excuse is that he doesn't know fjerdan?

AND THAT'S NOT EVEN TRUE he literally said he learned school fjerdan which means he should know how to write it too (we know why he can't but the tohers don't)

and even then like the excuse doesn't make any sense. why would having the original name be usefull if no one can fucking read it????

the worst part tho? NO ONE QUESTIONED HIM

THEY WERE LIKE "yup makes sense" AND WENT ON WITH THEIR DAY

i wondered how they didn't figure wylan's secret sooner but now i now

it's because theya re idiots

"I'm just doing my job. Stop glaring at me"

wylan baby let's not make the gigant mad

Jesper knocked his head against the hull and cast his eyes heavenward. "Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I'm going to get Wylan's ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost."

Brekker's lips quirked. "I'll just hire Matthias ghost to kick your ghost's ass."

"My ghost won't associate with your ghost," Matthias said primply, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain.

i had to put this here i don't want to get murdered by the fandom

jesper, inej and nina have the BEST friendship

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE JES AND INEJ TOGETHER ON NETFLIX

"I know some people don't understand, but Kaz told me ... he said it was my choice, that he wouldn't be the one to mark me again."

i love this because it happen when they had just met

he did it because he understands her trauma and he respects her not because he loves her (i doubt he did at the time)

Kaz had been impressed with the sketches. (...)

"Just learn to take a compliment. Kaz doesn't hand them out often."

I'M SO PROUD OF WYLAN

and yess kaz only compliments wylan (and inej but that's sarcastic so it doesn't count) because he's a proud dad

"And you don't belong here, either."

"I beg your pardon, merchiling?"

"We don't need a sharpshooter for Kaz's plan, so what's your job - other than stalking around making everyone angsty?"

He shrugged. "Kaz trusts me."

Wylan snorted and picked up his pen. "Sure about that?"

DAMN WYLAN DESTROYED HIM

also

"If you aren't born with every advantage, you learn to take your chances."

"I wasn't-" Wylan left off and set down his pen. (...)

aww cute neurodivergent boyfriends bonding

Wylan had turned back to his work, his disappointment obvious. For some reason, Jesper felt disappointed, too.

ajgflasjgfjagslfiuusgflgdfsgdflasdgfsd

wesper

aww jes checks on inej every morning and every night i love him

"Thank you for keeping me in this world when fate seemed determined to drag me to the next. I owe you a life debt."

Nina blushed deeply. "I was teasing, Inej"

LJFGALKGFALGA another cute friendship right there

(and i can see why people ship them romantically)

STOP INEJ AND JES ARE BONDING SO MUCH (page 127 so i can go back and read it lmao)

Van Eck writes to Wylan every week, and Wylan doesn't even open the letters

"They just said the same thing again and again: If you're reading this, the you know how much I wish to have you home. Or I pray that you read these words and think of all you've left behind."

should i kill him? anyone want to join me?

Inej bumped her shoulder against his."Then at least we're both the same kind of stupid." (...)

"You're too good for him, you know?"

"I know. So are you"

jes and her bonding over their stupid crush on a white boy

Because I've been looking for an excuse to talk to you for two days.

jfsfdajdhmgkfutdjrgsg ok i can't blame them for having a crush on him anymore

this chapter is full of kanej i love it

"What do you want, then"

You, Inej. You forever.

jksdgfoagsdfgsdgfklasgdflaghsldfgksdgfkahgsdfghjlkf

kaz's backstory makes me sad

"When we get our money, you can burn kruge to keep you warm," said Kaz. (...)

"I´m gonna pay someone to burn my kruge for me."

Kaz fell into step beside him. "Why don't you pay someone else to pay someone to burn your kruge for you? That's what big players do."

"You know what the really big bosses do? They pay someone to pay someone ...". Their voices trailed off as they tomped ahead, and Matthias and the others followed.

JES AND KAZ HAVE THE BEST CONVERSATIONS

i can't believe we get to see nina and matthias meet and their whole backstory in less than a month omg

"It's not natural for women to fight."

"It's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet there you stand."

QUEEN

YOU TELL HIM

oh no the dead grisha

this part breaks my heart every time

"Do you have a different name for killing when you wear a uniform to do it?"

.....i'm just gonna leave this quote right here

anyways acab

stop nina tried to kill the survivor so they wouldn't suffer but she couldn't do it

and jesper did it for her without hesitation i wanna cry

and inej didn't want to do it either i want to hug them

"Because our crime is existing. Our crime is what we are"

..........

i'm gonna leave this here again

do with it what you will

"Don't mock what you don't understand."

"My mockery offends you? My people would welcome you laughter in place of this barbarity"

i- this conversation is so important

AAAAA JES AND WY ARE A GREAT TEAM I LOVE THEM

WYLAN TROWS BOMBS TOGIVE JESPER TIME TO GET READY TO SHOOT

INEJ AND KAZ ARE A GREAT TEAM TOO

THEY LITERALLY DID THE SCENE LIKE IN THE AVENGERS (but without the shield WHICH MAKES IT BETTER)

Jesper shouldered his rifle. "Wylan earned his keep."

Wylan gave a little jump at the sound of his name. "I did?"

YES BABY YOU DID GREAT

kaz getting self-conscious for his hair is pure comedy

but nina how can you say that have you see his hair on the show???? it's perfect

"Remeber our friend Mark?"

HELP I CAN'T

"Any other impossible feats you'd like us to accomplish?"

The bearest smile flikered over Kaz's lips. "I'll make you a list."

once again jesper and kaz being besties

unrelated but nikolai and jesper would love each other

the amount of sass they have between them it's unparalleled

"Mmm," Inej murmured, taking a sip from her mug. "Maybe you're just not enough."

DAMN

ma'am marry me please

kaz fainted damn poor boy

unrelated unce again but this is so much betetr than shadow and bone

like you can tell leigh improved so much

her characters are better and their arcs are better developed

the writing itself it's better

or maybe i'm just biased because i love soc so much but i think she definetly improved

INEJ IS TRYING TO GIVE HIM SPACE EVEN WHEN SHE'S TRAPPED AND LOCKED ON THE WAGON

I JUST - THEY KNOW EACH OTHER SO MUCH

Though he'd trusted her with his life countless times, it felt much more frightening to trust her with his shame.

Inej had once offered to teach him how to fall. "The trick is not getting knocked down," he'd told her with a laugh. "No, Kaz," she's said, "the trick is in getting back up"

inej is smart af

Kaz was usually unshakeable during a job, but now he was on edge, and Jesper didn't know why. Part of him wanted to ask, though he knew that was the stupid part, the hopeful farmboy who picked the worst possible person to care about, who searched for signs in things that he knew deep down meant nothing - when kaz chose him for a job, when Kaz played along with one of his jokes. He could have kicked himself. He's finally seen the infamous Kaz Brekker without a stich of clothing, and he'd been too worried about ending up on a pike to pay proper attention.

ok i got a couple of things to say about this part

first of all it makes me so sad that jes cares so much for someone who dosn't deserve him. because no hate to kaz but they would never work as a couple and kaz already treats him like shit most of the time

i think this part shows who a lot about who jesper really is. a boy that grew up having to hide parts of himself, who thinks he's worth nothing but it's smart and capable, who's loyal and brave and caring but doesn't even know it himself. he's someone who feels he doesn't deserve good things and thinks he's not good enough, and that's why he unds up in all the wrong places with the wrong people. he left uni bc he fell in with the gangs, because he didn't think he was smart enough or even prepared to be in studying in the university. jesper is constantly hiding behind a mask or running from things because he's scared of not being enough

an kaz is everything jes in a way wishes he could be. kaz is secure in himself (at least on the outside), he's stable, he's smart, he's "unshakeable". and most of all, he doesn't care about others (we know that's not true but that's how he presents himself)

and that's the thing that causes jesper all his problems. because he's insecure because he thinks he's not good enough for the poeple or things he cares about. and he's always trying to do what's best for his loved ones: he went to the ice court to pay his debt for his father, he follows kaz everywhere beacause he cares about him, he offered to read to wylan (knowing it wouldn't be easy for him to be still that long).

and yeah it often doesn't work out becuase he's messy and he has problems but he tries. and he hates that. he hates that he cares so much about people because at the end of the day, that's what makes him feel like he's not good enough

one more thing and i'm done i promise

unpopular opinion but i love that leigh made jesper have a crush on kaz. 1 beacuse it's refreshing to see someone not get otgether with his first crush. and 2 because i love that it shows that we sometimes get attached to people that are not good for us, but that we can learn to move on. jesper ended with wylan who respects him and values him, unlike kaz

ok i'm sorry that was probably all bs

oo one more thing, jesper definetly has rsd (rejection sensitive disphoria), which is something most poeple with adhd have

"My father used to take me everywhere with him"

this is so sad. bc they probably had a good relationship when he was little. and then they figured he coudln't read and now his father treats him like shit

it's even worse than if he haf been horrible from the beginning because wylan knows he can be a good father. and so he thinks it's his fault and he deserves to be treated like that. i hate van eck

"You're cuter when you're smart"

(...)

"Definitely cuter when you're smart"

wesper yesssss

i love them so much

ok but why do people think jesper is stupid. like the boy just made a bunch of criminals pass out by mixing some chemicals

and he was going to the university at like 15

AAAAND NOW THEY KNOW HE'S A FABRIKATOR

amazing plot twist

also:

Wylan coughed. Flirting with him might actually be more fun that annoying him, but it was a close call.

oooo come on jesper we all know you just love getitng him to blush

and you love him

who said that? definitely not me, nope

awwww jesper misses being around animals that's cute

imagine him coming home to wylan one day with a puppy because he just couldn't resist

cute

Better terrible truths than kind lies

just leaving here more of inej's wisdom

ok this may be a reach but jesper has adhd part ???

Yellow Protocol? Red Protocol? He couldn't remember which was which. (...)

"The alarm was Yellow Protocol, a sector disturbance."

Jesper pushed at his temples. "I don't remember what that means"

a bad working memory? sounds familiar

kaz loves puzzles

it's canon

"I love puzzles. Trickery is just my native tongue."

this part where wylan and jesper see the banner made with grisha's kefta kills me every time

I would have worn purple, Jesper thought, if I'd joined the Second Army. (...) He'd beenwilling, even eager to risk capture and execution as a thief and hired gun. Why was it worse to think about being hunted as a Grisha?

this makes me want to cry so much

another thing super sad: the fact that since his father is Kaelish and had some supersititons towards grisha, jesper grew up wondering if his own father was scared of him. he had to hide his powers and he was almost taught to be afraid of them

"Is it safe to leave them, you know-"

"Alive? I'm not big on killing unconscious men."

"We could wake them up"

WYLAN

damn the boy needs therapy

it's amazing how nothing went like they planned

not a single thing

PEOPLE GET READY

ARE YOU READY?

NEITHER AM I BUT WHO CARES

"What do you like?"

"Music. Numbers. Equations. They are not like words. They...they don't get mixed up."

ok dude the clues are right there he's basically saying it

"If only you could talk to girls in equations."

There was a long silence, and then, eyes trained on the notch they'd created in the link, Wylan said, "Just girls?"

Jesper restrained a grin. "No. Not just girls." It really was a shame they were all probably going to die tonight.

wylan really said a straight man?? couldn't be me

this is the definition of bi panic "jesper restrained a grin" bitch we saw that

btw i love the slow burn

like they hint something here but they don't actually start liking each other until much later and they don't get together until almost the end of ck

i also love that the fact that they both like guys is like out in the open now. bc i'm not a fan of when queer characters have a crush and there's the whole thing of "are they queer too or not?"

like they both know htey are queer. but they don't get together right away bc they have to start liking each other before. they don't get together bc they are the only queer mlm characters

matthias fake betrayal killed me

i tought it was real

I have been made to protect you. Only in death will I be kept fom this oath.

this is just-

also foreshadowing?

YAYY KUWEI HI

There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong, and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.

She's laughed, and if he could have bottled the sound and got drunk on it every night, he would have. It terrified him.

if i ever have a s/o and they don't tell me this at least once i don't want it

He needed to tell her... what? That she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn't pull himslef together into some smeblance of a man for her

THIS

THIS IS LOVE RIGHT THERE

they are the only straight couple that matters

everyone else go home

Wylan had scratches all over his cheeks and neck. He was beaming. Inej grabbed his hands and sqeezed.

so cute omg

"You can explain why our illustrious Shu scientist looks like one of Wylan's school pals along the way"

KAZ

i mean it's true but you didn't have to say it

KAZ IS SMILING OMG

EVERYONE FREAK OUT WITH ME

HE'S "grinning like and idiot" STOP I LOVE HIM

"We are all someone's mosnter, Nina"

"I will have you without armour, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all"

this part breaks my heart and i love it

"Stay," she oanted. Tears leaked from her eyes. "Stay till the end"

"And after," he said. "And always."

i just- helnik is perfect

AWWW JESPER MISSES WYLAN

my daily dosis of wesper :)

ok but in like 2 pages jesper tought of wylan like 10 times bc he's sad wy isn't with him

Jesper scanned the empty deck. He's assumed Wylan would come up to see them off. (...)

Jesper knew he was being selfish and stupid, but some petty part of him wondered if Wylan had deliberately kept away from him on the journey back. Maybe now that the job was complete and he was on his way to his share of the haul, Wylan was done slumming with criminals.

*charles boyle's insinuating voice* and why do you care so much???

btw YOU ARE WRONG. HE'S LITERALLY GOING OUT OF HIS WAY TO BE WITH YOU EVEN THOUGH HE CAN'T SPEAK

this scene where we find out the truth about wylan hurts so much but it's one of my favourites idk why

I LOVE THAT EVERYONE IS AS MAD AS I AM ABOUT THE LETTERS NOW

"Your're a fool," Jesper snarled. "He smarter than most of us put together, and he deserves a better father than you."

YES TELL HIM

the fact that wylan just heard him say that omg

"Deserved" amended Van Eck. He blew the whislte twice.

SOMEONE BETTER GRAB ME BEFORE I KILL HIM MYSLEF

THAT IDIOT

I HATE HIM SO MUCH

I'M GONNA CRY CAN SOMEONE KILL HIM FOR ME

Jesper screamed in rage and raised his guns.

YES EXACLTY WHAT I MEANT

JUST KILL HIM RIGHT NOW

"I'm not big on bludding, am I Inej?"

"Not as a rule"

Van Eck's lip curled. "And why is that?"

"Because he'd rather cheat," said the boy who was not Kuwei Yul-Bo in perfect, unaccented Kerch.

THIS WAS PERFECT

THE BEST WAY TO REVEAL THAT

(...), and Jesper flinched

baby he recognized wylan's voice

The Shu boy held out a hand. "Pay up, Kaz"

BITCH THIS IS AMAZING

THIS BOY MADE A BET WITH A CRIMINAL THAT HIS OWN FATHER WAS GOING TO TRY TO KILL HIM

AND HE WON THE BET

A nearly perfect replica of Kuwei Yul-Bo stood before them, but he had Wylan's voice, his mannerisms, and - though Kaz could see the fear and hurt in his golden eyes - Wylan's surprising courage, too.

i love it when they compliment him

my boy deserves all the compliments ever

AND KAZ IS PROUD OF HIS SON WE ALL KNOW THIS

Wylan cuold draw a perfectt elevation. He's made a drill that could cut throu Grisha glass from parts of a gate and scavenged bits of jewellery. So what if he couldn't read

this is taking me to some real places

i may cry you've been warned

WYLAN DIDN'T CARE THAT HE MAY BE STUCKED LOOKING LIKE KUWEI

this is making me cry

"A fool would have been waiting to be smashed to bits on that ship. And as for "traitor", you've called me worse in the last few minutes alone."

EXACTLY

YOU TELL HIM WYLAN

Instead, in that moment of threat, when he should have thought only of the fight, he looked at Inej.

BABY

i would've done the same tho she's pretty

amita is sooo pretty i'm gonna die when the show comes out

Jesper was staring at Wylan, his eyes roving over the black hair, the golden eyes. "Why?" he said at last. "Why would you do this?"

nothing to say here except: wesper

You... how many times was it you standing beside me on the deck at night when I tought it was Kuwei?"

"Every time."

i want to cry so bad

"Why does it matter?"

"I don't know!" Jesper said angrily. "Maybe I liked your stupid face."

a very staright and platonic thing to say of course

i know jes we all liked his stupid face

"Jesper made a mistake," said Wylan. "A stupid mistake, but he didn't set out to betray anyone."

YES WYLAN DEFEND YOUR BOYFRIEND

And maybe he'd kept him in the dark about Wyllan because he wanted to punish him a little

even kaz know they like each other come on

Jesper sat with elbows on knees, head in hands. Wylan deside him wearing th face of a stranger.

wylan give him a hug fro me please

he needs it

"Scheming face," murmured Jesper.

"Definitely," agreed Wylan.

i miss inej already

And I'm going to get my girl. Inej could never be his, not really, but he would find a way to give her the freedom he´d promised her so long ago.

i'm ugly crying and so what?

and now we're done....

i want to read this book again omg this is unhealthy

#shadow and bone #s&b #six of crows #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #kaz brekker #grishaverse #inej gahfa #matthias helvar #nina zenik #freddy carter #kit young #amita suman #soc #helnik #kanej #wesper

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fandom-imagines · 4 years ago

Text

October

Fandom: Halloween

Pairing: Michael Myers X Reader

Warnings: Death, attempted rape (not by Michael), hurt. (also not proof read because it’s 4am and I’m very inspired so I’ll proof read it another day).

Summary: Y/N hates fall, but that changes upon meeting someone special.

Words: 2.8k

A/N: I’ve been obsessed with the song ‘we fell in love in October’ by Girl in Red and yeah this just kinda happened because of it.

Fall had never been Y/N’s favourite season. As a matter of fact, it was one she hated and dreaded the most each year. Well, until she met him.

They met during October, nearing Halloween.

Sure, she had heard the whispers about the infamous Michael Myers who murdered his sister and many others. Did she care? No. Not really anyway. It wasn’t like she’d ever see him… right?

Well, that’s what she thought. She had never believed that she’d ever meet him, nor see him. But, everyone can be wrong sometimes.

The stars glistened brightly as Y/N lay on a blanket, gazing at them dreamily.

It might have been cold, freezing actually, and the jacket that hung loosely from her body provided very little warmth, but she still enjoyed it. Despite hating fall, she did particularly like the late nights. Not many people would be around on the nights due to the cold weather which meant that she was able to be alone whenever she wished, except for Halloween of course when children and teenagers alike would be wandering the streets of Haddonfield.

Lost in her thoughts whilst staring at the stars, she finally realised something.

“Shit I’m lonely.” A slight chuckle left her lips at the words.

As if on cue, a sadistic voice sounded behind her causing her whole body to tense, “Do you often talk to yourself late at night?” She could almost hear the smirk through his words which was followed by numerous laughs.

Quickly climbing onto her feet, she turned to face the people, who she quickly assumed was a gang after seeing their similar outfits and weapons ‘hidden’ in their pockets.

“Sometimes, yes.” She gave a casual smile, doing her best to hide how afraid she truly was. Despite the shaking of her hand, she showed not true fear, her eyes simply filled with determination. “Can I help you gentlemen?”

“I believe you can, pretty lady.” The man, who she believed to be the leader of the gang, stepped towards her with a huge smirk on his lips.

“How so?” Y/N’s head tilted to the side, hair falling with the movement, covering her face in a cute manner that almost made the men feel guilty; key word being almost.

Nothing could really change their beliefs after it being instilled in them from being children.

All five of the men walked towards her, an action that made the girls strong stance falter. Both her stance and demeanour crumbled into tiny pieces as the first guy grasped her shoulder tightly, leaving her unable to shrug it off despite her attempts.

“Let go of me.” She mumbled, eyes darting towards the ground.

“Awe, you sound so cute when you say that.” Another man chuckled, beginning to palm himself through his, almost too tight, jeans which made her realise what was about to happen. “Say it again.” He stifled a moan at her small, afraid whimpers.

“Please.” Her tone was a pleading one, simply sparking the enjoyment and pleasure in the men’s eyes.

“Awe, she’s so cute guys. Maybe we should kee-“The leaders voice was cut short by a knife to the heart, blood quickly making its way to his mouth, pouring down his lips. Everyone, besides the perpetrator of course, stood frozen still.

Y/N watched in horror as each of the men were slaughtered in front of her.

It was only once the last man fell to the ground that she finally looked up to see the man who has rescued her.

“Michael…” The name left her lips before she could even stop herself. All she got in return was a simple head tilt from the extremely tall man. “Thank you.” She whispered to him before taking a step forward. “Even if it was a strange last sight, I still appreciate it.” Her words came out hoarse now as she realised that it was the end of her life.

Michael simply tilted his head again, looking almost like a confused puppy. In fact, it was cute to her. Sure he had just murdered five men, but he saved her and she couldn’t thank him enough for that, even if he was about to kill her.

Y/N’s eyes closed as she stood in front of Michael, his body towering over her in a way that intimidated her significantly. Her body braced herself for the stab.

One second…

Two seconds…

Three seconds…

She wasn’t sure how long she was stood there, but the stab never came. Her eyes flew open, wondering as to why she was still breathing, only to reveal Michael was no longer stood there.

That was at the start of October.

It had been over a week since then and she was still alive as well as extremely confused.

He saved her and then didn’t kill her? Michael Myers? Willingly sparing somebody’s life?

From what she had heard, she assumed that that wasn’t normal for him. But the more she thought about it, the more confused she became.

Each night was spent wondering why he spared her life; why he saved her.

Sure, maybe it was the bloodlust. But why would he spare her? She didn’t know him, he didn’t know her and he was some bloodthirsty killer.

She thought nearly every hour of every day, pondering why he spared her, but she was unable to think of a valid and reasonable answer.

Little did she know, she would receive her answer that day.

Y/N’s lips formed into an O shape as she puffed out the smoke from her lips, cigarette limp in her hand which hung beside her thigh.

The roof she was on was one she visited often.

Nobody was able to come up here, meaning that she was the only one here.

She did love to be alone, like she was right now.

Or so she thought.

Behind her stood a tall, masked man that the entirety of Haddonfield knew as Michael Myers, the guy who killed many, including five men a week ago.

He stalked towards her, knife nowhere in sight, simply store in his pocket, close to reach if he needed to grab it, but hidden enough to not scare the girl.

He watched fascinated as she lifted the lit cigarette to her lips. He caught sight of her painted fingernails, a nice shade of red. It was strange of Michael to pay attention to such simple things, tending to be focused on the colour of the blood pouring from his victims. Maybe that was why he noticed her nails; the blood red reminding him of his victims.

Michael himself wasn’t entirely sure as to why he spared her life. He had stalked her for the past week ever since the incident, the feeling in his stomach leaving him irritated. He became especially irritated when he couldn’t bring himself to force the steel knife into her chest whilst she slept soundly, oblivious as to the fact that there was a killer hovering over her, unable to strike.

There was a small part of him that understood what the feeling was, an extremely small part that he ignored.

He was infatuated with her.

Maybe it was the way she did her best to stand up for herself, or the way she walked towards him unafraid despite having just witnessed him kill five other men. It could also be how she thanked him, despite knowing who he was. Or maybe he just liked the way his name sounded falling from her lips and he wished to hear it again.

He wasn’t sure which reason it was, maybe a combination of all of them. But he was fully aware of the fact that he couldn’t kill her; he had tried multiple times in the week following the incident but, despite the voices screaming at him to do it, he couldn’t bring himself to end her life.

Michael was now behind her on the rooftop, nearing the edge where she was stood, gaze focused on the scenery ahead of her, blissfully unaware of the shadow looming over her.

His huge hands gripped her shoulder, pushing her gently, a big enough push for her to be scared, a scream leaving her lips, but his grip tight enough making sure that she wouldn’t fall.

He didn’t want that.

Eyes wide, she spun around to face the person who had almost killed he.

Her eyes widened even more as she saw who stood in front of her,

“Michael…”

He simply nodded before leaving.

“Don’t go.” She called for him, pleading for him to stay, almost like she had pleaded for the men to stop.

She watched as his body came to a halt.

“Michael,” His body tensed, “please stay.”

He did.

That was how their relationship, if you could even call it that, began.

That was two weeks ago.

It’s only a week until Halloween.

Until Michael next killing spree.

Y/N wasn’t sure how it had happened, but Michael had ended up staying at her house nearly every night.

Sure, he crashed on the couch, surprising her, but he did stay with her.

The two grew attached to each other, even if Michael was unaware as to this fact. He was, however, aware of the fact that he couldn’t kill her; he couldn’t even harm her, even if he wanted too.

It was another night with Y/N lounging on the couch, watching some random movie that was playing on the TV. Weirdly enough, she was alone tonight. She had no idea where Michael was, and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t worried. But she knew him well enough, or at least she liked to think she did, to know that he could take care of himself. He’s a big man, quite literally.

A knock on her front door pulled her attention away from her thoughts as curiosity filled her body. She didn’t know who it could be. She wasn’t exactly expecting somebody, and it wasn’t Halloween so there’d be no kids looking for free candy, something that Y/N began to curse at herself for, remembering that she had meant to pick some up today.

The knocking grew louder and more aggressive the longer she waited.

“Hello?” Her voice was confused as she greeted the weird man on her doorstep.

“Y/N, right?” He was straight to the point.

“Uhm…?”

“Dr Loomis, I need to speak to you.” He barged past her, startling her immensely and she internally begged Michael would be here soon if things went badly.

“Okay?”

She carefully closed the front door, turning to face the guy named Loomis who was now stood in the middle of her lounge.

“What is it?” Her words were cautious, chosen with extreme carefulness as she wasn’t entirely sure who this man was.

“I know of your relationship with Michael Myers.”

Crap.

“My what?” Her words sounded confused, despite her knowing exactly what. “Michael Myers? As in the killer?”

“Don’t play dumb, Y/N. I know he’s been staying here, and you’ve been letting him. In fact, I know you’ve become quite attached to him but let me tell you this, he is evil, and doesn’t feel anything for you. I’m quite sure he’s simply here for a place to stay and will kill you when he finds another place.” Loomis’s words were sharp, he wasn’t playing around.

“I seriously don’t know what you mean. Now, I think you should leave before I call the police.” Y/N demanded, walking over to swing the front door open for him to leave.

“I’ll be back to deal with you.” He spat before having the door slammed in his face.

Y/N wasn’t too sure how long it had been as she was curled up on the couch, wondering what she could do.

Should she tell Michael? Should she keep it from him? How did this guy even know? Why did he want to know? What should she do?

The back door swung open, Michaels way of alerting her to his presence.

She payed on attention to the noise, simply remaining in her thoughts.

It wasn’t until he was in front of her did she finally break from those thoughts, looking up at him with such fear in her eyes, shortly followed by tears leaking from them, trickling down her cheeks.

“S-sorry.” The girl hiccupped, tilting her head in order to make her hair fall in front of her face, not wanting Michael to see her like this.

Once she realised that Michael wasn’t leaving, she glanced up.

He stood there, bloody knife still in hand as though he was preparing to attack, not her but somebody else. His masked head was tilted, the same as he did when he was confused.

“I met someone today.” Y/N’s words were quiet, not noticing the way Michaels grip on the knife tightened at the sentence, knuckles turning white as his whole body was strained with anger. “He knows you’ve been staying here. He said his name was Dr Loomis.”

Michael left.

That was two days ago now.

She hadn’t seen him in two days, and it was safe to say that she did miss him. And, weirdly enough, he missed her also, in his own Michael way.

She wandered the streets, unaware of the gaze focused on her and her alone. Y/N had decided on a thick jumper today which hugged her body in a way that actually provided warmth this time. Her jeans were also a source of warmth. The wind blew through her H/C locks, tossing them behind her.

She looked beautiful.

The girl had arranged to meet a friend today in order to take her mind off of Michaels disappearance.

She had let Loomis’s words get to her, assuming that he had found somebody else like he had said. But, he hadn’t killed her, not yet at least.

Her steps slowed down, eventually halting as she realised something. Something she wished she hadn’t.

She loved Michael.

She couldn’t think about this for more than ten seconds before hearing her name leave somebody’s lips behind her.

“Y/N! Hey, why’re you stood still you weirdo.” Jessica, Y/N’s friend, giggled as she jogged to catch up to her.

“Hey.” Y/N’s smile was forced, the daunting realisation from moments ago still on her mind.

“How’re you doing?” The other girls smile was not forced, genuinely happy to see her friend after three weeks.

“I’m good.” Another forced smile, “How are you?” She tensed as Jessica’s arms wrapped around her friends shoulder.

A relieved sigh left Y/N’s painted lips as the door closed behind her.

The thought of it being unlocked didn’t even cross her mind, desperate to get inside, change into comfy clothes and just sit down. However, those plans were stopped when she felt a rough hand tug on her elbow, turning her to face him: Loomis.

“What the fuck?” She did her best to rip her arm from his grasp but to no avail, “Let go of me you creep!” She yelled, violently tugging her arm again.

“Tell me of your relationship with Michael Myers!” Loomis yelled back, refusing to let go of her, despite how hard his grip was, both of them unaware of the fact that bruises would be left.

“I don’t have one!” Another yell from her.

“Yes you do! Where is he?”

Tears began to pour down her cheeks and Y/N wasn’t sure if it was from panic, stress or the pain in her arm.

“Please let go of me.” She whispered quietly, tears falling to the ground.

“Only if you tell me where he-“ Loomis’s words were cut short due to a stab through the heart, reminding Y/N of the way Michael and her met.

She felt the grip on her arm loosen before watching the body drop to the floor, revealing a shaking, panting Michael. “Michael…”

He was covered in blood, shaking with both anger and hatred.

How dare Loomis touch what is his.

His…?

Michaels sudden realisation was similar to Y/N earlier that day.

Michael had seen that realisation happen, however he wasn’t sure as to why she simply stopped in the middle of the street.

He wanted her to be his and his alone.

He wanted her to belong to him and him alone.

No, he needed her to.

Michael showed no sign of the internal conflict he was facing as he stood in front of her.

“Are you okay?” Her words were concerned, more worried about Michael than the pain in her arm as well as the bruising.

A simple nod from him followed by a head tilt, wordlessly asking her the same.

“I’m okay.” She gulped, unable to look him in the eyes, something which irritated him.

His annoyance was evident in his stride towards her, leaving her afraid.

She gulped again once he was in front of her, watching as his arm raised towards her, hand tightly gripping her jaw, forcing her to look him in the eyes, his eyes showing a strange emotion for him.

Trust.

They fell in love in October, and that’s why Y/N loves fall.

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oikawaplssteponme · 4 years ago

Text

PART 11 | previously: part 10 | masterlist

pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x fem! reader

ratings/warnings: swearing, implied content (nothing too bad) angst (?)

synopsis: When UA’s hot heads, Katsuki Bakugou and you, are forced to put your hatred for each other aside and plan the third year Prom, things end up getting a little heated...

a/n: hi hi! so psa that im estimating that there will be about 3 more parts after this one :)) maybe more but 3 for sure :)) also i would say im sorry for the pain but im not 😚 enjoy xx

•

eleven: I hate you

“You snore when you sleep,” you told Bakugou. The blond was slowly starting to wake up. The two of you tangled together in the sheets of Bakugou’s bed. You turned over to look at him, his hair a complete morning mess.

“Yeah says you princess,” he groaned. His morning voice was deep and raspy. You sat up and watched as Bakugou pulled the covers back over his head. You laughed.

“It’s almost 10am explosion boy, we’ve got stuff to do.”

“Well maybe if you didn’t make me stay up so late I wouldn’t be so tired…”

“Are you saying you’d pick sleep over what happened last night?” You teased. Bakugou took the blanket off of his face and pulled you towards him.

“God no,” he smirked as he pulled you into a kiss. You smiled against his lips.

“Good. Now get up, we’re supposed to start setting up at noon.” Bakugou groaned, not letting go of you.

“Let’s just stay here~” he whined. You chuckled.

“Who knows, maybe after the dance you’ll get lucky again, but we have to set up for that to happen,” you teased. Bakugou jumped up from the bed and tossed you over his shoulder.

“AH-KATSUKI-“

“Well then we’ve gotta get ready!” He laughed as he spun you around. He set you down and kissed your head.

“I’ll see you later dumbass,” you smiled, ruffling his hair.

“Meet me in the common area when you wanna head down, okay?”

“Okay, but you have to let go of me silly.” Bakugou unwrapped his arms from around you.

“Oops.”

“Bye.” You kissed his cheek once more before heading out the door.

Please no one be around.

You opened the door slowly and shut it quietly. You scanned the hallway, hoping no one saw you leaving Bakugou’s room.

Coast is clear.

“Y/N?”

Okay maybe not.

You looked over your shoulder and saw Kirishima, Sero, and Denki staring at you. You couldn’t look any more suspicious. Your hand was still on Bakugou’s door knob, you were wearing his t-shirt, and your neck looked like you had gotten into a paintball match. You sighed and walked over to them.

“Morning guys,” you said confidently, hoping they wouldn’t question you.

“Why were you in-”

“Y/N!” called Bakugou behind you. You jumped and watched as Kirishima, Sero, and Denki’s jaws all dropped at once. You felt Bakugou’s hand on your shoulder.

“You forgot this,” he said plainly. Bakugou dangled your bra in front of your face, and in front of his friends. You snatched the bra from his hands.

“I’m gonna kill you,” you huffed. Bakugou smirked.

“I’ll see you later dumbass.” Bakugou tapped your ass before turning back around and going into his room. You sighed, and just walked around the group of stunned boys before you.

You went into your room and plopped down on your bed. You couldn’t believe that last night actually happened. You couldn’t believe that you actually told Bakugou how you felt.

Wait a damn minute.

You sat up from your bed.

Did he say it back? He did right? Oh my fuck he didn’t. Wait? No, he definitely didn’t. Fuck. Maybe he meant to say it and just forgot. Yeah, that’s it.

You took a deep breath. There was no reason to freak yourself out. After all, Bakugou acted like he felt the same. You reassured yourself that everything was fine.

You were supposed to head down to the theatre soon to set up. Prom would be taking place in the same place that the school festival concert was your first year. You had recruited some of your friends to help you set up as well, so you needed to head down to meet them. You changed into some sweatpants and out of Bakugou’s shirt and into a sweatshirt. You felt it was best to return his favorite shirt to him. You then went to go meet Bakugou in the common area.

“Come on Bakugou!” begged Kirishima. You could hear Bakugou, Kiri, Denki, and Sero from across the hall. The boys continued to pester Bakugou.

“Just tell us what’s going on with you and Y/N!” said Denki. You jumped and went to hide by the wall, in hopes of listening in on this conversation.

Please say something nice.

“What the hell are you talking about?” groaned Bakugou.

“Well we did catch her sneaking out of your room this morning. Care to explain?” teased Sero. Bakugou huffed.

“No.”

“Come on man! Are you two a thing now?” Your heart began to beat a little faster.

Please, please.

“Why do you damn extras care so much?”

“Bakugou this is Y/N we’re talking about! Do you see why this is kinda a big deal?” said Denki.

“So what is it? Are you guys a thing or not?” You took a deep breath.

“No.”

Your heart dropped.

“No?”

“No. Nothing is going on with me and Y/N damn it. I-I don’t care about her…” You clapped your hand over your mouth to keep yourself quiet.

“So her sneaking out of your room this morning?”

“That didn’t mean anything. I-I don’t even like her.”

“Well that’s too bad,” whispered Denki.

“Whatever…”

Without thinking, you marched over to the boys.

“Good to fucking know.” You threw Bakugou’s shirt at him. He looked at you, stunned.

“Oh shit-”

“WAIT Y/N!” Bakugou stumbled off of the couch to catch you but you were already walking away.

“Get the hell away from me Bakugou!” You swatted him away from you as he tried to grab hold of your hand. He grabbed your hand anyway, forcing you to look at him.

“Wait Y/N listen I-”

“No, you listen to me Katsuki Bakugou because I’m only gonna say this once,” You looked at him dead in the eyes, while your own began to water.

“I hate you.”

You ripped your hand back from Bakugou and ran down the stairs.

His words kept playing on repeat in your head. Over and over again. You sat on the steps on the basement stairs. Your face buried in the palms of your hands. You hated crying but you hated other people seeing you cry even more. You heard footsteps get closer to you but you felt too weak to even get up.

“Y/N…”

“Fuck off Bakugou,” you sniffled.

“I’ll make sure to pass that message onto him.” You turned around and looked up at your friend.

“Oh sorry Iida, I thought you were Bakugou,” you explained. Iida joined you on the stairs.

“That’s okay. The real question is, are you okay? I heard what happened.” You looked at Iida, your eyes red and puffy. You buried your face into his chest, sobbing.

“How could I be so stupid? I’m so naive. I knew that he wouldn’t feel the same and I ignored it. What was I thinking? Fuck, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!” Iida rubbed your back.

“You don’t hate him Y/N.” You looked up at him, wiping your face.

“W-What?”

“You don’t hate him,” Iida sighed, “you love him.”

More tears began to stream down your face. Your lips started to quiver even more.

“I-I don’t want to love someone who doesn’t love me back.”

Iida took the sleeve of his shirt and wiped off the remaining tears from your face.

“Look, Bakugou is a complicated guy. Maybe he didn’t mean it.”

“I don’t give a fuck if he meant it or not. He still said it. God-fuck- I just can’t believe I was so stupid to fall for the one person I wasn’t supposed to.”

“Says who?”

“What?”

“Who says you weren’t supposed to fall for Bakugou? Sure, the two of you have a more than strange relationship but that doesn’t mean you weren’t supposed to fall for him,” said Iida. You sniffled.

“Well clearly I didn’t listen to myself because I fell for him anyway. Iida, I hate that I love him so much. Fuck-it’s like whenever I see him or talk to him my heart just goes-” you began to make gestures with your hands. Iida chuckled.

“That’s called feeling happy Y/N,” Iida teased.

“Whatever,” you smiled.

“Who would’ve thought the the only person who could turn you into a hopeless romantic would be Bakugou.”

“I AM NOT A HOPELESS ROMANTIC! Well...maybe I’m just hopeless at this point. I-I just don’t know what I’m gonna do.”

“You’ll know when the time is right. I’m sure of it.”

“Thanks Iida,” you sighed. He smiled.

“Now, no more crying over silly boys. You’ve got a dance to set up.” You nodded.

“I guess you’re right. Mind giving me a hand?”

Iida smiled. “I don’t mind at all.”

•

[taglist OPEN: @vangoghpoets @vangoghmusings @bokutory @complimentaryhugsgirl @cloudswriting @kriswu46 @neodnyl @evivn1 @jazzylove @mileven-reddie @whalerus @misssugarless @random-fandom-girl-24 @fanfiction-and-stress @ushiwakatrash @minhoswife @addictofsupernatural @the-shota-king-masayuki @freyafolkvangr @deaths-mate @tamaguchi @lalayy @athenarosaline @blxck-coffee @katsukibabe @thatonegeekchick @that-chick212 @bibly @nxynxy @theunknownrandom @flustered-blue-eyed-sex-muffin @94potterhead @moonlightaangel @katusukisbitch2000 @secondchoicealwaysandforever @salsaedx @ukaisgratefulwhore @lucyheartfilias-wife @big-phat-cat (if your name is bold I couldn’t tag you) ]

#willow.🌸#my hero academia #bakugou x you #bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou x y/n #katsuki bakugō #katsuki #mha katsuki #katsuki x you #bnha katsuki x reader #katsuki x y/n #bnha bakugo katsuki #katsukibakugou #hot heads.🌸

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thewritingginger · 4 years ago

Note

Naughty list 7 for Beelzebub and naughty list 13 for Belphegor with f!reader please and thank you!

Thank you Lovely for your request and your patience for me to get this done. I do have the Beel one on my WIP list as well :3

This one was a bit interesting for me cuz it’s not smut but also not fluff it just... idk what to call it 😂 But not in a bad way I did have fun writing it. just something new for me and I'm a bit unsure but that could be bc it’s 7 am and I’m a bit sick lol

Prompt: Naughty #13: “I need you to pretend to be my s/o.” “Why? You hate me!” Fandom: Obey Me! Pairing: Belphegor x F! Reader Word Count: 2,438 words Warning(s): may cause slight annoyance :)

Enjoy~

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

You spot Belphegor pass the end of the hall, saying goodbye to your friends you rush over. Stopping by him, slightly out of breath as he stands straight from the water fountain.

“Hey Belphie.” You say sweetly with a small smile. Belphegor looks you up and down with a raised brow. “Uh, hi.” He responds slowly, readjusting his backpack strap as he turns to leave.

“So how’s your day been?” You ask, walking at his pace.

“What do you want Y/n?” He asks curt. Stopping he leans against the wall, arms crossed. Looking at you through his brows, unamused.

“What do you mean? I’m just trying to make conversation with you.” You say innocently.

Rolling his eyes he kicks off the wall and continues down the hall. Not getting ten steps in front of you, you stop him again. “Wait-” You huff. He turns your way. He waits, shaking his head, tuning his hands up signaling you to spit it out already. You sigh,

“I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend.” You say, wincing at the idiocy of your request. If you can even call it that. You’re practically begging him to, ‘Gosh really Y/n, “need” him to?’ You mentally slap yourself, not noticing the grin on his face. Snapping back when you hear him snort a bit. Trying to remain calm cause lord knows you need him to agree. For a moment there is just silence. Seeing him process your question a bit more. Then he speaks,

“Why? You hate me.” His statement punctuated with an amused half cut smirk. Taking in a deep breath through your nose, contemplating your rebuttal. Because the truth is, you don’t hate the guy. Sure, he’s probably the most annoying being to ever exist in all the three worlds, but that doesn’t mean you hate him. Clearing your throat you respond,

“No I don’t hate you. We just don’t know each other enough.” You smile.

“Uh huh. So me pretending to be your boyfriend will do just that, huh?” He says. His face cracks with amusement once again as he watches your face twist in annoyance.

“Look, why don’t you just ask one of my brothers? They like you.” He says as he backs away symbolizing he’s done with this conversation.

You sigh annoyed. ‘Yeah like I haven’t thought of that before, Dickhead.’ You had thought about it before but that didn’t go down well.

You didn’t dare ask Lucifer well because, he’s Lucifer.

Mammon would only accept if you paid him to and even though you were in need of a prop-up boyfriend you weren’t that desperate.

Both Levi and Satan were busy the day you would need them.

And lastly there was Beel. You would’ve asked him but… on Halloween Beel was plastered and drunkenly confessed that he really liked you. After that night he hadn’t seemed awkward about doing it and you never told him he did it either.

So that left you with the youngest one that just walked away from you.

~~~

Why do you need a pretend boyfriend, you ask? Well in a phone call with your family talking about arrangements for New Years. Your mother wouldn’t shut up about the amazing guy your cousin is dating and how he’s coming to the New Years Eve party, and whilst your mom was babbling on about it you zoned out and when she asked if you had a ‘special someone’ you absentmindedly said ‘yeah’. And before you knew it she told you to bring him around and said her goodbyes as you tried to correct the situation. But it was too late.

And now you need a boyfriend.

~~~

Back at the house of Lamentation heading towards your bedroom you spot Belphegor going into his room. Taking another chance you dropped your book bag at your door and rushed over to him.

“Belphe-” Cut off by the door in your face, you roll your head back in frustration but not defeat. You had to do this! You hate to say it but he really is your last hope for this.

Knock Knock Knock.

No response. You sigh once again trying to keep your cool.

Knock Knock Knock

Your hits get a bit heavier with each one. Then finally he opens the door.

“What?” He says with a huff.

“I need to talk to you. I -” You begin to say as he rolls his eyes starting to close the door once again. Stopping the door with your palm you finally put your pride aside.

“Belphegor, please ~” Your words come out slow. Hating to beg the demon but knowing you had to at this point. The pressure on the door lightens. Belphegor stands behind the door and sighs.

“Fine.” He says. Opening the door for you to enter. Sitting down on his bed, he looks up at you waiting for you to speak. “Like I said before I kinda need you to be my ‘boyfriend’ for a night.” You say. His blank stare boring into you, “Yes you did but you failed to mention why. What, do you secretly have a crush on me.” He says with an amused grin. Your reaction only made it better,

“Tsk you wish. The reason I need you is because I’m going home for New Years and my mom thinks I’m bringing home a boyfriend.” You say with your arms crossed.

“Why would she think that?” He asks. Pursing your lips, hating your answer you sigh. “I may have accidentally told her I did when I wasn’t paying attention.” You say, refusing to look at what you’re sure is a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Ha ha oh my god. You’re more stupid than I thought.” He says laughing. Your face heats up with anger, before you can say anything he cuts you off. “You know what, I’ll do it.” He says standing up. Your anger subsides a bit when you hear those words. Slight relief sweeps through you. “Really?” You ask, happy but slightly shocked. “Yup.” He says walking past you, opening the door.

“I’ve been told it’s good to do charity. And besides this seems too funny to miss out on.” He says, walking out leaving you angry once again. ‘Guh, what an asshole!’ you think to yourself storming out of his room.

~~~

It’s New Years Eve and you are getting ready to leave devildom with Belphegor to the human world. Picking up your jacket and purse you leave your room. “Ok, let’s go.” you say to no one walking down the stairs, Belphegor waiting by the door dressed in jeans, a dark teal blazer, and a black shirt. He turns to speak but hesitates a second when he takes in your appearance. Rushing down the stairs the hem of your black velvet dress rode up your thighs a bit, your hair messily framing your face and your cheeks rosy from rushing around to get ready. “Phew, okay, I’m ready!” You say sliding your heels on at the base of the stairs. Standing straight smoothing the front of your dress you look up to see Belphegor looking at you. “What are you looking at? Are you ready?” You ask, putting on your coat. “Yeah I’m ready. Let’s get this over with.” He says opening the door.

Pulling into the driveway of your parents home you turn off the car and turn to Belphegor. “Ok like I said before, they might ask questions, especially my mother! And please, please try not to make an absolute fool in there.” You say. Belphegor laughs at your pleas. “Don’t worry I won't make a fool out of you on purpose, you do that well enough on your own.” He says with a chuckle. Man, he really knows how to get under your skin.

“Okay, okay. I’ll go in there and act like any other boyfriend.” He says with a patronizing smile. Pursing your lips trying to hold yourself back from slapping him, instead you just get out of the car. You knock on the door as you wait, Belphegor comes up behind you and you see him holding a bouquet of sunflowers. “What are you~” You’re cut off by your mother. “Well hello. Please, come on in, you'll freeze out there.” She says opening your family home to the both of you. Before you can introduce Belphegor, he’s already ahead of you.

“Thank you. These are for you.” He says handing your mother the flowers. “Oh my, they’re beautiful… oh I never even got your name.” Your mother says with a smile. Chuckling back he responds. “I’m Belphegor. And I’m glad you like them, you know sunflowers represent happiness and longevity which is not only what I hope for you this coming year but also for my time with your daughter here.” He says, pulling you in by your side, looking down at you with a smile. Your mother seemingly swooning. You smile back, “What the hell are you doing?” You ask through your teeth. “Fulfilling my end of the agreement, and taking what I want cause I don’t recall you ever telling me what I’d get in return.” He says. You fake a laugh, “What do you mean ‘get in return’?” You ask. Turning you to face him, lifting your chin. “You don’t think I came here out of the goodness of my heart do ya? I came here to have a bit of fun and I’m already just getting started.” He says. Giving you a sly look he kisses your hand sweetly before rushing over to your mother, “Please let me help you with those.” He says walking with your mother before looking back at you.

‘Oh he’s good. But two can play at that game, Buddy!’

As the night goes on you two continue to seem a convincing couple. Good to know his lying can actually be of some help in this situation. “So Y/n how did you manage to land such a charming guy?” Your cousin asks.

You hate it! How can they love him so much?

“Um well~” You start, when you feel Belphegor wrap his arm around your shoulders. “Well we actually met through my brothers.” He says. “Oh how many brothers do you have?” Your mother asks. “I’m actually the youngest of seven. And my twin brother introduced me to this girl and ever since that day I’ve wanted her by my side.” He says, with his left arm around your shoulders, his right hand makes its way on your bare knee. Laughing you look at him with warning eyes as you take his hand off you. Your family chuckles at your “puppy love” moment.

“So how long have you been together to be exact, because somehow up until a couple weeks ago Y/n had failed to mention you.” Your mother says looking at you. ‘Oh brother.’ You think to yourself. “About a year.” You say. “And here I thought it was longer. I guess that's just wishful thinking, huh.” Belphie says, looking at you with a smirk.

‘I’m gonna kill him.’

“You know if we let the love over there get too strong, we might be seeing a new addition to the family sooner than we’d think.” One of your family friends says, chuckling into his glass. The whole table starts to chuckle as your eyes widen. “O-oh no, not now.” You stutter. “Looks like my baby is blushing. She is always more amusing this way.” Belphegor says. “Haha ok enough of that. What time is it anyways?” You ask trying to get this night over with.

“It’s almost 11:40.” Says your mother. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’re counting down the minutes till you can kiss me.” Belphie says, leaning into you. “Yeah, no. I couldn’t think of a worse way to start my year.” You say into your glass.

“Ok guys the ball is dropping! Count down in 10… Standing before Belphegor he just smirks. “Make sure you don’t fall in love with me after this.” He says. You almost gag, “Yeah, no problem.” you say.

Everyone chanted the countdown,

“3”

“2”

“1”

“Happy New Year!” Everyone exclaims.

Looking at each other Belphegor puts his hand behind your neck and pulls you in. Your lips touch. A second passes, still connected. The hand in your hair tightens slightly and his lips move with yours. Your mouths dance together one second and parted the next. The expectant feeling of disgust never came, rather the moment wasn’t that bad. You stand there in his grasp for a few more seconds, eyes locked. Looking up at him you notice something in his eyes you've never seen before, but it’s gone just as soon as it comes. “I think we should go before you try and kiss me again.” He says. “If you keep talking you’re sooner to get slapped, than kissed.” You say walking past him, making him laugh.

It’s nearing 1am when you and Belphegor are taking your leave, “You know you two can stay till the morning since it’s late.” Your mom offers. “No we have things to do tomorrow and I’d rather not travel in the morning.” You say hugging your mom. “Well, drive safely and Belphegor you’re always welcome in our home.” Your mom says making him smile. Taking her hand in his he places a small kiss on the back of hers, “Your hospitality is too much.” He says. You see your mom swoon once again. ‘Damn he is good.’

Finally in the car you sigh in relief. “Glad that’s over.” You say. “Yeah. When are we coming back? Maybe we can bring Beel, he’d love that- well, everything your mom made.” He says turning the car on. “Uh, what do you mean ‘coming back’? This was a one night deal.” You say laughing. “Well your mom said she’d love to see me again and I’d say I had a pretty good time playing with you tonight. So i feel it would really be a win-win situation.” He says. “How is that a win for me though.” You ask with your arms crossed.

“Well it’s a win for you cause you’ll get to kiss me again. I rather enjoyed the look you had after the first time” He says with a smirk. You finally hit his shoulder.

“I did not have a ‘look’ after kissing you.” You argue.

“Yes you did.” He says back.

“No I didn’t!” You say with more force

“Yes you did.”

And this went on back and forth the whole ride home. You knew asking him was a bad idea.

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I hope you enjoyed this, and that you have a great New Years or when ever you find yourself reading this :3

💛 ~

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