#on this note i know i said i'd post three chapters this weekend but i'm running out of steam tonight

[every-jiraiya]

[bloodiedrogue]

*makes sure its tuesday* *puts on a suit and takes the microphone*

HELLO AND WELCOME BACK EVERYONE TO TUESDAY INTERVIEW!

I'm your host Annie and today we are here once again with the amazing and talented author Summer!!! Let them hear your love, guys!!!

So, Summer. There aren't many news to report for these week. I've heard from trustworthy sources that you've taken a small break from writing, which I'm very glad to see and that I hope you are enjoying to the fullest. But I do have a couple questions in my notes, if you don't mind answering them.

First of all. We all know why most of the people are here for. "A Lover's Folly". One of - if not the most successful fics of yours. If I'm not wrong, next chapter will be a little sweet thing that will make our heart overwhelm with joy but I was wondering: what awaits Tav and Astarion after the next "slice-of-life" chapter, if you will? Pain? More joy? Illithids?

Of course, I can't talk about your fics without mentioning "Curse You"! And talking about the Zaystarion fic, how would you describe the next chapter that will come out in one sentence? And how would you describe in three words the beloved "knife fight" ship that has all of us in a chokehold (👀) ?

Now... since I've already asked you about your wips already last week, I've thought about a little game: it's easy, just a simple top 10 of BG3 characters, including both characters from the main party and NPCs. However, the twist is, you decide the theme of the top 10. It could be best characters based on their backstory, on looks, on how badly you want to be with them (biblically or not speaking) and so on.

AND THAT IS ALL FOR TODAY!!! GOODBYE EVERYONE AND HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!

tuesday interview on a wednesday!!! (wow who would've thought!!)

apologies for missing a couple of weeks, but you're right, i am taking a bit of break! at least for me. i'm still posting here and there but definitely not as frequently. will still be posting some curse you content and the lover's folly chapter this weekend! the latter might not necessarily come out on saturday as planned because the next few days are expected to be a bit insane but i'll try my best!

as a treat though (and to answer your question) the chapter is definitely going to have a fluffy vibe. a lot of comforting themes to make up for all the angst i've been giving everyone. mostly it's just a chapter where tav and astarion get some much needed relaxation before all the chaos starts up again.

for curse you, uh, i've decided to switch things up. initially i wanted to write a full fic that was very structured and chronological but i've since decided to just kind of write little snippets here and there to give myself more freedom to create what i want! with that being said though, i have a couple one shots planned, specifically ones about the first time astarion meets zayis and also the scene where she first allows him to drink from her! so hopefully y'all enjoy those. :')

for the best question though i'm going to do a top 10 npcs based on who i'd bring to a wedding because for some odd reason that was the first thing that popped into my head. however, i’m not going to tell you why because i am lazy!!!

rolan

wyll

karlach

alfira

dammon

gale

astarion

shadowheart

gortash

raphael

[kenobster]

I haven’t seen you post anything on ao3 since July, did I miss something??? (referring to your zero notes zero kudos post)

No, you didn't miss anything on my ao3. I've just been going through an Anakin whump phase on my tumblr lately (with answers to asks and miscellaneous posts and fanart -- some of which I already deleted when they got 0 notes, including a fanart I posted today. So even if you go looking, you wouldn't find all of them). So because of that, whether or not it's true, it personally feels like ppl aren't interested in certain things I'm excited about (tho the like.... three or four people who have shown interest, tyvm). And I'm really grateful to everyone who has read my fics on ao3. If I didn't have that huge bewildering amount of support to fall back on, I'm sure I'd be a lot worse off. So I greatly appreciate that. And at the very least, if all else fails, my mom will show support for all of my posts/fanart/fics lmao. Anyway, so I'm well aware lots of ppl dont have those things to rely on, so I'm hella not trying to take them for granted. ❤️ I'm very grateful and feel very lucky that so many people have said such kind and heartfelt things about my writing.

But there are certain things I still carry a lot of shame for liking. No one could ever make me feel ashamed about 5PE, but my biggest dream is to one day draw Anakin dubconnishly sucking Palpatine's dick. And my favorite fic universe to fantasize abt rn is the Vader Mpreg one. And those are things I do feel ashamed for liking at times. So when those are the things I post (currently on tumblr) that get 0 attention (esp when other things are getting attention), it sorta starts to reinforce the shame I'm already feeling.

Like, I spent 8 hours yesterday drawing that fanart I posted (which I deleted a few minutes ago). I skipped dinner and stayed late at work for 2 hours on Friday to finish writing this post on my work computer (bc my personal pc crashes if i try to make tumblr posts). Did I make either post to get notes? No. It was fun for me. Just the process of it was fun for me. I enjoyed myself so much!!! Totally worth it.

But do I regret posting them publicly instead of just keeping them for myself and my friends? ... Honestly, yeah, I kinda do.

Probably people did like the posts but are afraid to be seen liking things so dark and deranged. And like, that's okay, because I'm brave, I'm super brave, and I will be the first to post any deranged content out of any group of people. But I have limits, too. And if people are willing to read 5PE or shadow AU but not willing to read about Vader's uterus, then I start to feel less brave. :/ And I start to become demoralized over other things too.

Like, I was set to post chapter 10 of 5PE this weekend, but I haven't been able to work on it. Every Shadow, being less dark, is even harder to work on. Because if my perception is that ppl find me sick and grotesque and deranged for my most fucked up ideas (that's my perception, not necessarily reality), then it hurts to have my tamer content be supported instead.

Is that fair to yall? No, not at all. Am I trying to guilt trip anyone? Absolutely not. It's just a current unfortunate reality that's bumming me out, and there's not much anyone can do to change it. I just gotta let the feelings run their course.

Anyway thanks for reaching out anon. I feel better having been able to air all of this. Though I'll probably still step away to some extent (how long? who knows. The depressive episode will decide. But prob not for that long.