#on the two year anniversary of losing my dog Roman I just lost my cat Sabrina

[candycatstuffs]

If Thanksgiving could stop being the worst fucking holiday for a moment that would be great

[sidespromptblog]

The Anniversary: Part 1

Summary: Some time has passed since the events of Blank, however, soon enough Empathy and Logan's anniversary is coming up. With tensions still a little thick, Logan isn’t the only one having a little trouble with things.

Roman knew something was the very moment that he walked into the kitchen, he wasn’t exactly sure just what it was that was bothering him, or rather he did. It was just that he certainly didn’t want to say it to Logan’s face, or the sole person he had an issue with. Nevertheless, he knew something was off the moment he saw Logan standing there at the counter wearing a familiar striped shirt, happily spreading jam across some of his buttered toast.

It shouldn’t have seemed too odd really, ever since Logan had gotten his emotions back, and since things had smoothed out a little between all of them. The logical side had been a lot happier with his guard dog constantly standing next to him, to Logan things went by as usual, even if for the rest of them. Or rather just Roman in general, everything seemed way too different than before.

But that my fault isn’t it? I should know that. After all, I’m the reason he got screwed in the first place. Roman scolded himself sourly, and a frown tugged at his lips. Yes, he really should have known that nothing would have gone back to the way it was before, that was wishful thinking. Something that was his department, even if he wished that it wasn’t.

Speaking of guard dogs though, Roman watched with a varying degrees of jealousy as Empathy snuck in behind Logan, and Roman’s insides boiled hotly at the sight of Logan’s tie hazardously and rather lazily tied around Empathy’s neck. He had to hold his breath though, the moment he noticed Empathy wearing the nightshirt that was Logan’s as well. What took the cake though, was how Empathy looped his arms around the logical side’s waist. Drawing Logan’s back closer to the other’s chest.

The jealousy is a raging fire by this point.

“Darling dearest, honeydew, my wild little bruise…” With each word Empathy placed a lazy kiss on Logan’s neck, and feeling the other’s body shiver he couldn’t help but to grin into the side of his neck before Logan let out a soft chuckle. However, when Logan turned, Empathy soon found himself to be silent, as the warmth of the other’s lips pressed against his, silencing him as Empathy went lax against him.

Logan’s kiss tasted of the sweetest and most tastiest jam in the entire world.

“Happy anniversary, Emmie,” Logan whispered the moment that their lips parted, giving just the widest grin as Empathy’s eyes stayed closed for a second longer, as if the other side could still imagine the taste, the warmth, and feeling of Logan’s kiss even after he was already gone. It warmed Logan’s heart to see such a bedazzled look on his boyfriend’s face, then again, Empathy had always acted like it was his first time in love. No matter what Logan did, and no matter how long they had been together. There was never a dull moment between them, it was as lively as a part that never ended.

Empathy was the kind of party that Logan never wanted to leave.

“Honestly Emmie, I would find much satisfaction out of kissing you again. But,” Logan stuffed a piece of his toast into Empathy’s mouth, before pecking a kiss onto the corner of the other’s mouth. “You need sustenance first.” Smirking to himself Logan strutted away to the fridge, even the way that he moved was different than how he used to be with the others. Roman could see it as clear as day, the logical side seemed almost more at east, or...looser with Empathy. Even the simple action of Logan rifling through the fridge was different, no cold calculation of what would be most efficient.

Logan usually went for eggs and coffee, something that would give him a lot of energy for everything that he usually had to accomplish during the day. But even that was now turned on its head, as Logan looked right past it.

How often had Logan been wearing a mask with them? How often did he feel the need to hide away from them, and only show his true self with Empathy? How...and why couldn’t it be them instead?

All of these questions burned inside of Roman, they tumbled around in his mind like tumbleweed in an empty dry desert that hadn’t seen rain in years.

“Mornin.” A voice next to him grumbled, mere seconds before a pair of lips pecked him on the cheek, and blinking quickly Roman found his attention directed back over to Virgil who had come shuffling out of his room. His hair, in all honesty, looked like a bird’s nest, or like he’d lost a battle with a guy who had fists made out of balloons. It stuck up in every which way, an honest to god mess. Roman loved it.

“Good morning my knight in dark armor.” He chirped out, his cheery tone garnering a wince from Virgil, before the anxious side merely patted him on the shoulder. Too cheerful then, he’d have to tone it down some. “Did you sleep well?” He instead asked, holding his arms open as an invitation, and just like that Virgil’s head thumped against his chest.

His questions got a tired groan in response. Up until three in the morning as per usual then.

Patting the top of Virgil’s head, Roman’s eyes caught another movement off to the side, as Patton’s door opened and the moral side, with the pace of an actual snail.  Dragged his feet out of his room, one side of his hair was completely slicked up, and his cat pajamas that he usually wore hung off of his shoulders as he slouched while walking. Squinting his eyes, Patton focused them on the cup of coffee that Logan usually left out for him, and reaching for it he fumbled for a second before picking it up. He inhaled deeply, the smell of caramel and hazelnut coffee was like the essence of the only thing that was good about mornings. The moral side sipped at it, the life slowly coming back into his eyes the more empty his cup got.

Eventually, they all ended up eating at the table, a pile of bacon, sausage, and banana pancakes in the very middle.

It had become almost usual for Logan to sit beside Empathy, as well as for the two of them to finish before everyone else. Even if they did wait until everyone else had finished before they dispersed.

“Lo,” Bringing his head up from where he was reading his book, the logical side in question glanced over to Empathy. The sight of the guilty smile made his insides twist in an unpleasant fashion, but just for a moment. “I’ll need to make some preparations for tonight, as usual you know? But…” Empathy chuckled, scratching the back of his head as he looked almost sheepish. “This time, you can’t go into your room. I’ll need it, is that...alright?” Empathy hesitated in asking, his leg bouncing up and down as his fingers fiddled with the end of a sucker stick that had been relieved of its candy.

Luckily the look he got back was understanding, a look that made his insides relax and melt all at once. The image of Logan’s uncaring eyes glaring back at him was still all too fresh, he knew that it was silly, that it was preposterous. But there were still some days where he expected to wake up next to Logan, and to see the cold stare of Apathy looking back at him like he was looking in a mirror.

It was silly, but then again...there was nothing silly about losing the one you loved the most.

“It’s fine Emmie, there’s tons of stuff for me to do down here, and I’ve got a surprise of my own that I need to get ready as well. So don’t you worry, take your time.”

Roman fumed in silence as Logan leaned in, the creative side’s hands were clenched tightly under the table, so tight that his knuckles turned white and he felt his hackles rising.

At least until he felt Virgil’s palm resting on the back of his hand.

Looking over, he too saw a look of understanding, pained understanding. This...this was something neither of them had expected, and something that had hurt the both of them. However, Virgil seemed to be taking it in a much better way than Roman was, that was for sure.

So he took a calming breath, as Logan pulled away and Empathy scooted his chair out to head on upstairs. However, the moment that Empathy glanced over to Roman, he felt his insides furiously twisting as Empathy sent him one last sly and yet incredibly coy look. That only served to bring his emotions right back up to the surface, where they simmered. However, even with the look, even with Empathy clearly knowing. Roman couldn’t help but to feel even worse, he couldn’t help but to almost hate himself for how jealous he felt of Empathy.

Logan was happy, shouldn’t that matter more than any frustration he felt?

Tagged:

@neko-ereri

@seas-space-and-stardust

@estraevelyn

@katatles-the-fish

@greeneggsandham1998

@ibelievewhatsontv

@sleepyssnail

@thats-so-crash

@serious-ppl-wear-neckties

@secretlyanxiouspersona

@nerd-in-space

@blue-wolfbane

@cats-vetal-miking-vomit

@ab-artist

@moonstonefox12

@echomist13

@goofigami

@temmiecupcake

@nyamafriend

@cyberpunkjinx

@noahlovescoffee

@iaminmultiplefandoms

@entpscarleharrrr

@dragonsight9

@sanders-is-awesome

@tea0-0stache

[meaniechan]

lighten the cares of my sorrowful soul

This is probably way too out of character but I tried. Just imagine an early-Creatures era/present day Aleks and a much younger, present day Brett. 

Paring: Brett/Aleks

It was Brett and Aleks’ six month anniversary a few days ago. Except, Brett got called into work and couldn’t get out of it. Cue: big, huge, enormous fight. A few days later, they make up. 

 your laughing lovely: that, I vow

makes the heart leap in my breast;

for watching you a moment, speech fails me,

my tongue is paralyzed, at once,

a light fire runs beneath my skin,

my eyes are blinded, and my ears drumming

the sweat pours down me, and I shake

all over, sallower than grass:

I feel as if I’m not far off from dying.

Brett shuts the door behind him.

“What do you want?” Aleks snaps, and from the sound of his voice, Brett knows he’s been crying.

Aleks is usually very careful with his appearance, but Brett understands that- with the circumstances- he probably doesn’t really give a shit about how he looks. His hair is messed up, eyes red, and his clothes are baggy: nothing that he’d wear outside of this house. He’s scowling, and usually, Aleks scowling was funny to Brett- he looked like an angry puppy. It’s not so funny, now, when his boyfriend looks vulnerable and small and defeated and... lost.

Every little, lingering bit of Brett’s anger has dissipated, in this moment, and their argument seems so unnecessary.

“I got your present.”

Aleks looks down. “Yeah, well… I don’t wanna take care of it.”

Brett crosses the room and sits on the edge of the bed. Aleks pulls his legs in and wraps his arms around his knees protectively, purposely looking away from the older. The bed is, surprisingly, lacking a certain fluffy dog, who usually spent every moment she could in Aleks’ bed with him. His cat, however, is there, and she seems to get annoyed with all the movement, deciding to get up from her spot next to Aleks and jump down from the bed.

“I love it,” Brett tells him. “It’s really nice. Especially the poem. Did you write it?”

Aleks shakes his head. “Some Roman guy.”

“It’s very sweet.”

“Yeah, well, whatever.”

There’s a moment of silence, which is uncommon for Brett’s boyfriend. Aleks isn’t as socially awkward as his two best friends, but he still wasn’t great with the whole ‘socializing’ thing. Though the younger is primarily an extrovert, there are moments that even Aleks preferred to stay in the comfort of his room- far away from the main part of his family’s hillside mansion that- due to Aleks’ father and step mother’s busy jobs- was usually empty. Aleks filled it with friends- his classmates, James and Joe, and their friends, Trevor and Jakob and Asher and Anna- but his friends had lives of their own, and Aleks still spent a considerable amount of time on his own, with just Mishka and Celia to keep him company.

He thinks that’s why Aleks likes Lindsey and Brett’s shitty, two-bedroom apartment that they rent close to campus. Less space meant less to fill.

Brett clears his throat, ready to say something.

“I’m sorry,” Aleks whispers, at that moment, before Brett can speak. “I don’t know why I’m being such an asshole. Or why I got so mad about you having to work. I’m just… I don’t know. Everything was supposed to be perfect and then it just… wasn’t. I’m being stupid, I know.”

Brett stands, moves closer to Aleks, and sits beside him. “It’s okay. You were upset. Yelling at you didn’t help anything.”

Aleks unravels himself and looks up, revealing the tears streaking his cheeks. It pulls at Brett’s heart, and he reaches up to put both hands on either side on his boyfriend’s head, wiping at tears with his thumbs. It doesn’t help physically- Aleks lets out a hiccup of a sob and his face is wet again- but it mends things, Brett thinks, internally, and he leans forward to kiss Aleks’ forehead, his nose, both cheeks, and his chin, before finally kissing his lips.

Aleks hiccups a sob, again, but he kisses Brett back, hungrily, and they reposition themselves slowly so that Brett is more on the bed and Aleks is in his lap. Brett kisses him softly and Aleks takes each one like a pill and they stay there, for what could be seconds, what could be minutes. It’s not exactly making out, and it’s not sexy at all, but it’s what both of them need after the past few days and Brett takes it.

Eventually, Aleks mumbles something into Brett’s mouth that he doesn’t understand, and Brett pushes him away gently.

“What,” he asks, and Aleks blushes.

“Nothing,” his boyfriend answers, sheepishly. “Just… more stupid poetry.”

“By the same person?”

Aleks nods. “Yeah. Umm, I don’t know why, but I just started reading this poetry book and I… I thought you’d think it’d make me seem like, fuckin’, super grown up or something. So I kinda, just, like memorized a few.”

“Very romantic. I don’t know any- what was it, Roman poetry? Get this kid ready for college. Start saving for his 401K.”

Aleks giggles and Brett presses a quick kiss to his nose, which makes him giggle again.

“Fuck you,” he laughs, a lightness to his voice that makes Brett relax. “I know a few verses of a Roman poetry that I’ll forget by next month.”

“I won’t let you. You’re going to have to tell me them every day, so I know how grown up you are.”

Aleks pouts and pinches Brett’s arm, playfully.

“So, tell me,” Brett laughs. “What’s this magical poem that you decided was so important that it had to interrupt our hardcore, sexy make out session?”

Aleks grins, and he looks down at his lap. He picks at the hem of Brett’s shirt, for a moment, and normally, Brett would make a dumb comment about the lack of words coming from the younger’s mouth, but he keeps quiet himself. After about a minute, Aleks lets go of Brett’s shirt.

“‘Give me a thousand kisses,” Aleks says quietly- not quite whispering. “A hundred, another thousand, a second hundred, a thousand again, a hundred more, until we ourselves lose track of the score.’”

Brett smiles, leans forward slightly, and kisses Aleks’ neck softly and Aleks hums, softly. His boyfriend smells like something woodsy and an Old Spice deodorant that Brett doesn’t know the name of and it feels like home. Eight months ago, Brett never imagined he’d ever find someone that makes him feel at home, like Aleks does, and he never imagined it’d be in this eighteen year old, high school brat, with dumb emo hair, a green card, and a love for hardcore punk bass lines, dogs, and video games.

Hell, Brett might even love this kid.

“It’s very grown up,” he says instead, with a shitty impression of that one Vine meme.

Then, in his regular voice quieter. “And very pretty.”

“You’re pretty,” Aleks mumbles, and Brett doesn’t need to look at his boyfriend to know his face is bright red.

“So are you. Very pretty.”

Aleks pulls back, his face- indeed- very red. “What does… umm… fuck.”

“What?”

“Umm, fuck how does it go?”

A moment passes- in which Brett’s kinda confused- before Aleks looks up at Brett between his eyelashes. It sends a shiver down Brett’s body, and he doesn’t need context to know where Aleks is going.

“‘Be a sweetie, joy and charm personified, invite me to join your afternoon nap.’”

Brett grins. “Why, Mr. Marchant, are you trying to seduce me?”

“I might be.”

“I’m not just some harlot, sir.”

Aleks rolls his eyes. “Harlots fuck, asshole. They don’t make love.”

“First poetry, now this,” Brett teases. “How very grown up of you.”

“Don’t be an ass about it, Brett.”

“An ass? Me? No, I’m- what was it you said? ‘Joy and charm personified?’ Lucky for you, I fully intend to invite you to all my afternoon naps for a long time.”

Aleks laughs, and Brett kisses him, and they fall together.

  The next day, when James and Trevor show up around noon, and Aleks is almost all the way in Brett’s lap, and his friends roll their eyes at him.

“I told you that shit would work,” James yells. “Am I good or am I good?”

“You didn’t do shit, James,” Aleks shoots back, though there is no malice in either of their voices.

“Excuse you, Aleksandr. I drove to a hornet’s nest and poked at it while you were listening to your shitty, emo music and crying.”

“Fuck off, I wasn’t crying.”

“Fuck you, you were!”

Despite it, Aleks and James laugh. Trevor laughs. Brett laughs.

It feels like home.

  The first poem that is mentioned is actually, like, a copy of one that the Greek poet Sappho wrote something like, 600 years before and I like her version better than Catullus. I left out the part where Sappho/Catullus are super insane jealous of this guy hanging around their girls. I didn’t think that part really fit my vision.

Just in case you’re curious: title is from Catullus, 2.10. Included poems are Catullus, 5.7-10 and 32.1-3. All three are from the David Mulroy translation. The first mentioned poem is from Catullus 51, but the one I put in is the M.L. West translation of Sappho’s poem.