#on the other the possibilities are endless

[jo-com]

˖ ݁♬⋆.˚𝄞. ➛ Right Person, Wrong Time

Oscar Piastri x Fem!Reader

୨ৎ Summary: The story of how they fell apart, found themselves, and came back together stronger than ever—this time, for good.

୨ৎ Genre: Little Angsty but with a happy ending!

୨ৎ Note: Some grammatical errors, this also not proofread. Hope y’all enjoyyy!!

ARCHIVES ⭑.ᐟ

Oscar and Y/n have been inseparable since the very beginning—their moms were best friends long before they were even born, laying the foundation for a bond that felt written in the stars.

Their lives grew tangled in all the right ways, shaping each other in quiet, everyday moments. Oscar wouldn't be who he is without his Y/n, and the same goes for her. What they had felt like it was lifted straight from a fairytale—but not the perfect, polished kind. It was the kind with scraped knees, shared secrets, and laughter over nothing. Two innocent kids who didn’t realize that all those little moments were slowly leading them to something bigger. To love. The kind that felt inevitable.

It was like they were fated to be each others company.

...

When Oscar started racing, Y/n was alongside him— cheering him on in the sidelines. Always proud to see him reach for the sky and landing the dream he longed for.

You were beyond happy when his talents were discovered— his reputation sky rocketed in an instant. With each milestones that Oscar gained you were always there— giving him nothing but endless love and support.

But they say the good cannot coexist without the bad.

Like every story touched by magic, there’s always a storm that follows the calm. You just never expect it to hit as hard as it does. One moment, everything feels untouched, golden—and then suddenly, it doesn’t. The silence gets louder. The distance creeps in. And before you know it, you're left standing in the wreckage, wondering how something so good could break so quietly. Wondering if you ever really mattered in the way you thought you did. Questioning your place in his world, like maybe you were just passing through—while he was your entire map.

It broke you in ways you didn’t know were possible—to watch something so carefully built fall apart without warning. Years of shared memories, inside jokes, and quiet trust, all crumbling under the weight of unspoken words and arguments that never really had a point. It wasn’t one big moment, just a slow unraveling. And that’s what hurt the most. Not the shouting, not the silence—but the way it ended like it meant nothing, when to you, it meant everything.

...

Years have gone by, You were living… but were you really? Or were you just existing, moving through the days with a version of yourself that never fully came back after him? Because some goodbyes don’t echo right away—they linger, quietly, in the spaces where love used to live.

You were there present times but your mind just wonders back to the past. A past you swore you moved on from.

Whenever you scroll through your phone— headlines of him passes by... just like the memories you locked up. Clouding your mind with endless possibilities of what should have been and shouldn't have.

Seeing him happy and fine without you was tearing you apart.

...

Days later, your friend begged you to come with her to a Formula 1 event. You said no at first—too many memories, too much risk of running into him. The thought alone made your chest tighten. But she insisted, said you needed a change of scenery, something to pull you out of your head.

So there you were, standing beside her in a dress that hugged you just right, the kind you wouldn’t normally wear. The wind danced through your hair, engines roared in the distance, and for a moment, you almost forgot why your heart felt so heavy. Almost. Because even in a crowd that big, part of you was still scanning for the one face you weren’t ready to see—but couldn’t stop hoping you would.

"Are you having fun y/n/n?" Your friend asked, smiling as she examined your tensed features.

You nodded lightly, contemplating whether or not to share your fleeting feelings with her.

She hummed in response as she took a sip on her drink, paying no mind at your not so obvious anxious state.

After a while, the drivers began to roll in, the announcer's voice echoing as each name was called. Cameras zoomed in on each passing figure, but your world slowed down, your heart skipping when they finally called his name. Time seemed to freeze as the crowd cheered, and for a moment, it was like everything else disappeared. All you could hear was the rush of your own heartbeat, the echo of his name ringing in your ears.

You looked away immediately as soon as you took a glance at him. The growing feeling in your heart becoming heavier as you saw a glimpse.

Oscar smiled across the room, unbeknownst to him that you were only a mere meters away from him.

Your eyes couldn’t help but follow him, even when you didn’t want to. You saw how effortlessly happy he was, laughing and smiling with everyone around him. That smile—one you once knew so well—was the same one you had watched fade away when things between you two fell apart.

And then it came—the moment you’d been dreading all night. His eyes finally met yours, and with every passing second, his grin slowly shifted into a frown as your gaze locked.

You looked away, not wanting to feel the heavy pain that came with his eyes. The weight in your chest felt like it might suffocate you, but you fought it off, pushing back the ache. Your focus shifted to something—anything else. The crowd, the noise, the cars racing in the distance—but it was all just background noise now, like everything was happening in slow motion.

For a moment, you thought maybe you'd escape the hurt, but then you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned, almost startled, to find your friend watching you closely. She knew you too well. "You good?" she asked, her voice soft but firm, like she already knew the answer.

You nodded almost instantly. The beat on your heart not resting. "I uhm i am just.. tired yeah tired." You quipped back.

She looked at you knowingly, her eyes catching the tension in your face—your brows knitted together, your chest rising and falling with each shallow breath, and the slight crack in your voice. It was a habit you had whenever stress hit, and she’d seen it enough times to recognize it instantly.

"Want to go home now?" she asked softly, her voice gentle but carrying the weight of everything unsaid.

You didn’t even hesitate. The weight of the night, the memories, and the sudden rush of emotions all became too much to bear. You nodded, your throat tight as you forced a small, thankful smile.

"Yeah," you whispered, "I think I do."

She didn’t ask anything more, just nodded in understanding, guiding you away from the noise and toward the exit. As you walked, it felt like you were shedding a part of yourself with every step—walking away from a past that had once meant everything to you.

His gaze followed you until you were swallowed by the crowd, the space between you growing wider with each step. He stood there, frozen for a moment, unsure of what to do with the flood of emotions that suddenly hit him. There was a tightness in his chest, an ache he couldn’t shake. He had always been able to read you—knew when something was wrong, even before you said a word—but now, seeing you walk away like that, he felt a sense of helplessness.

He wanted to run after you, to apologize, to fix whatever had broken between you, but the thought of reaching out only felt like a step too late. The moment passed, and all he could do was watch, his heart heavy with regret, as you disappeared into the night.

...

The next morning you woke up like normal— did your usual morning routine but with an unexpected bombarding text from none other than him.

Your hands seem to shake as you reached down to open your phone. You were scared to read what it contained— hesitantly you opened his text.

Oscar [3:43 AM]: i know im probably the last person u wanna hear from right now but i can’t stop thinking about u i saw u today. u looked beautiful. like always. and it hit me all over again i messed up. i know that i was stupid, and i let u walk away without saying what i needed to say can we meet? please just talk. just once i’m sorry y/n. for everything.

You stared at your phone, the screen glowing in the room. His name sat at the top of the message, your heart pounding harder with each word you read. A part of you wanted to cry. Another part wanted to scream. And somewhere deep down, beneath all the hurt, was a quiet voice that still missed him.

Your fingers hovered over the keyboard, the words forming in your head but never making it to the screen. You locked your phone instead, tossing it gently onto the bed like it might burn you if you held on too long.

You needed time to breathe. To think. Because the wound was still there, barely healing—and reopening it now felt like risking everything all over again.

...

It had been three days since the message. Three days of pacing, rereading, overthinking. But in the end, something in you gave in—not because you were ready, but because a part of you still needed closure. Or maybe hope.

You agreed to meet at a quiet café tucked away from the buzz of the city, the kind of place no one would recognize either of you. You sat by the window, fingers curled around a warm cup, trying to steady your nerves as the minutes ticked by.

Then the door opened.

You didn’t need to look up to know it was him. You felt it—the shift in the air, the way your heartbeat quickened without warning. And when you finally did glance up, there he was. A little tired, a little messy, like sleep hadn’t come easy. But his eyes locked onto yours like they never forgot the way back.

He walked over slowly, uncertain. “Hey,” he said, voice low.

You gave a small nod, unsure of what to say, unsure if anything could ever really fix what had been broken—but you were here. And so was he. And maybe, just maybe, that was enough to start with.

He slid into the seat across from you, eyes scanning your face like he was trying to read the time that passed between you. You sat in silence for a few seconds, the quiet louder than it should’ve been.

“I didn’t think you’d come,” he said, voice a little hoarse.

You shrugged, keeping your gaze steady. “Neither did I.”

He gave a dry chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck. “I was drunk when I sent that. But… everything I said—I meant it.”

You looked down at your drink, fingers tracing the rim of the cup. “You always seem to mean things too late, Oscar.”

That stung. You saw it in the way he looked down, his jaw tightening. “I know. I know I hurt you. I was stupid, and I let everything fall apart like it didn’t matter. But it did. You mattered. You still do.”

Your heart twisted. God, part of you wanted to believe him. To rewind everything. But the other part? The one that carried the weight of every sleepless night, every moment you felt like a ghost in his world—that part kept you grounded.

“I’m not here because I forgot what happened,” you said softly. “I’m here because I don’t want to wonder anymore. I need to know if there’s something still worth holding onto… or if I should finally let it all go.”

He leaned forward, eyes pleading. “Then let me prove it. I don’t want to be the storm that ruined you. I want to be the calm after it.”

You didn’t answer right away. You just looked at him, really looked at him—and for the first time in a long while, he looked like he meant it.

You let his words hang in the air for a while, unsure if the ache in your chest came from hearing what you’d always wanted—or fearing it wasn’t enough anymore.

“I don’t know if I can go back to how things were,” you finally said, voice barely above a whisper. “Too much has changed. I’ve changed.”

He nodded, his expression gentle but weighed down with guilt. “I don’t want to go back. I want to start from where we are now. Even if it’s slow. Even if you’re unsure. I just… want a chance.”

You looked at him again—really looked. He wasn’t the boy you grew up with, or the one who broke your heart. He was someone in between now. Bruised by life. Regretful. Human.

You exhaled, your chest rising and falling with a strange mix of relief and sadness. “Then don’t say things you don’t plan to follow through with this time.”

“I won’t,” he said quickly, earnestly. “Not again.”

For the first time that evening, a small smile tugged at the corners of your lips. Not out of happiness, not quite—but out of possibility.

“Okay,” you said softly. “One step at a time.”

He smiled, just a little. And this time, it didn’t feel like a distant memory—it felt like something new.

...

Six months later

It didn’t happen overnight.

There were awkward silences, hesitant conversations, and days when the past felt heavier than the present. But there was effort—real, intentional effort. Oscar showed up. Consistently. Whether it was texts just to check in, coffee left at your door, or quiet walks where no one needed to say much—he was there.

You started laughing again. The real kind. The one that filled a room without trying.

He learned how to be patient. You learned how to forgive—not just him, but yourself too.

There were no grand gestures or movie-worthy speeches. Just small, honest moments stitched together over time. A touch on your hand that lingered a little longer. A shared memory that no longer hurt to revisit. A night spent talking about everything and nothing until you both fell asleep on the couch.

And one morning, as sunlight spilled through the window and your head rested on his chest, you realized something.

You were happy.

Not the naïve kind of happy you once were, but the quiet, steady kind that came after the storm. The kind that knew what it was like to lose—and chose, day after day, to stay anyway.

He looked down at you, brushing your hair back gently. “You know,” he whispered, “I think we’re finally okay.”

You smiled, fingers tracing lazy shapes along his arm. “Yeah,” you whispered back, eyes fluttering shut. “We are.”

And for the first time in a long time, it felt like the ending you both deserved—no longer a fairytale, but something even better.

Something real.

...

One Year Later.

The entire weekend had built up to this moment. The pressure, the anticipation, the sweat. But when the checkered flag waved and the world seemed to slow down, it didn’t matter anymore.

Oscar had done it.

P1.

The crowd was roaring, the team was shouting, and the pit crew was cheering as if the whole world had exploded in celebration. But amidst all of that, Oscar wasn’t looking at any of them.

He was looking for you.

He tore off his helmet, adrenaline pumping through his veins. He wasn’t interested in the reporters or the flashing cameras. His eyes were on the one person who had been there from the very beginning.

You.

The moment his gaze locked onto yours, he broke free from the chaos. Pushing past everyone, he sprinted across the track, his heart racing as fast as his car had. The cheers of the crowd faded into the background, the only sound he could hear was the pounding of his feet on the pavement, and the thudding of his heart.

When he finally reached you, there was no hesitation. His arms were around you in an instant, pulling you into him as if he couldn’t bear the thought of being apart, even for another second.

And then, without a word, he kissed you.

It was a kiss that was years in the making—fueled by everything you’d been through, every moment of doubt, every argument, every quiet night spent holding onto each other in the aftermath of pain. But this kiss wasn’t about the past. It was about the future. About all the promises you’d made to one another in whispers and in silence.

He kissed you like he had just won everything that mattered.

“I did it,” he breathed, forehead pressed against yours as he pulled back, still holding you close. “We did it.”

You smiled, your fingers tracing the outline of his jaw, still trying to process the reality of what had just happened. “You’re incredible,” you whispered.

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” he said, his voice filled with emotion. “You were always here, even when I didn’t deserve it.”

The crowd was still cheering, the cameras flashing, but in that moment, it felt like it was just the two of you, standing there on the track, the rest of the world waiting for the celebration.

But to Oscar, this moment—this kiss, this feeling—was the victory that mattered most.

[outtathisworld-imagines]

My only sunshine

——☀️——☀️——☀️——☀️——☀️——

Pairing: Bob Reynolds x F!Reader

Warning: MDNI! 18+ content, smut, heavy kissing, fingering (fem!rec), Oral (fem!rec), mutual orgasm, aftercare, some fluff, Bob is quite into the dirty talk and just being an all round kind, slightly slutty gentleman, swearing, very mild voyeurism, unprotected sex- pls wrap before you tap. Not proofread 🙃.

A.N: This is a continuation of this fic because I cannot let go of writing for Bob 🥲 Please let me know what else you guys would like! I do have a few other fics on the back-burner (for now!) that I’ll start to post soon 😊 and just let me know if you’d liked to be tagged in further works too ✨

—☀️—

When you were launched as ‘The New Avengers’, not everyone expected such newfound fame so fast. Some adapted well, like Alexei, most weren’t accustomed at all.

But in all the media circus, all the cameras, all the general PR chaos, you had one pillar of calm and that was Bob.

Since the moment two months ago shared between you both and the sunrise, the morning where you had both declared that the two of you had loved each other, the pair of you had been inseparable. Of course, you wanted to keep it as private as possible, to the point where you hadn’t even told the team yet- you hadn’t even told your brother. However you both loved your little bubble of privacy as the two of you started to find your feet in this relationship. Sharing a brief kiss every now and then, brushing hands and holding them under a blanket when it was movie night with the team. And of course, you had your nights where you held him close when he was fighting off demons in his nightmares.

“We are heading out for a couple of hours, some suspicious behaviour in Washington.” Yelena told Bob as everyone gathered themselves one late afternoon. “Will you be okay on your own?”

“Someone should probably still stay with him.” Bucky had spoke up, looking at you as he was zipping his coat. It instantly took you back two months ago to your conversation on the roof with him.

You cleared your throat “Y-yeah I can stay. I’ll stay with Bob. We can catch up with the dishes.” You smiled the group who agreed it was a good idea. They had all left and as soon as they did, Bob pounced on you, peppering your face with kisses. “I was serious!” You giggled “We should do some housework.”

Bob longingly sighed “Alright…I can always get my kiss fix later.” He kissed you again before pulling you to your feet.

The pair of you made fast work of cleaning the rooms of the watchtower where you all now lived before attempting the multitude of dishes.

“I don’t think Alexei realised you can wash a plate between each Doordash order…” you joked between scrubbing endless of plates and passing to Bob to dry.

“Let me take over for a little bit, save your hands from getting all wrinkly.” He scooted over and tried to take a mug from you, causing you to drop it in the water and splash over you both. You let out a shriek and looked up to Bob who had bubbles and water all down his front.

“Oh-oh I’m sorry!” You said between giggles. Bob looked at you with a sly grin, scooped up a handful of water and soaked you. “BOB!” You laughed and soaked him back. After a bit of back and forth spraying each other with bubbles and water he suddenly stopped and swallowed hard. “What? What’s up?” You asked, suddenly worrying that you had done something wrong, or worse…that a shadow was creeping back in. “Bob,” you grabbed his upper arms “What’s-“

“Y-your top…it’s wet…” he gulped again, swallowing hard.

“Well, of course it is you got me,” you looked down, your white top wasn’t probably the best idea to wash dishes in. Especially with no bra. “You, uh, got me wet…” you covered your chest with your arm. “I mean the water got me wet, that you soaked me with!” Your words spilled out, fumbled between apologies. You tried to turn away but Bob’s arm was tightening around one of your wrists.

His eyes were darting between your chest and your eyes. “S-sorry, I-I just- you know I think you’re so beautiful. A-and I know we haven’t had the chance to be…you know fully intimate with everyone always being here and-“ you silenced him with a firm kiss, one that he fully embraced along with you. You both stumbled backwards into the living room, lips still locked together.

You giggled falling back onto the large sofa as Bob hungrily kissed you. “You got me all wet too…” he retorts as he sat himself up, his legs straddling you as he slowly raised his t-shirt up and over his head. Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip seeing his perfect form glowing in the light of the sun that was starting to set. He leaned back down and feverishly kissed you “But I can guarantee you’re wetter…�� you gasped at his words.

“Bob…you might not be as innocent as I once thought.” You kissed and softly took his bottom lip between your teeth, pulling it just enough to tease and draw a groan from him. “Maybe you’re as innocent as me…”

Bob smirked, his fingers tugging at the end of your damp top. “Oh…? I always thought you were a ‘butter wouldn’t melt’, ‘sweeter than sugar’ girl, my sunshine…” his words, dripping with tease made you show how just how strong that serum had made you and you flipped Bob over, now you were the one straddling him. You smiled down as the boy with the curly, floppy hair that captured your heart was now catching his breath.

You pitching out of his misery and mirrored the actions he had done earlier and removed your top. A mixture of a groan and a gasp left his throat as his hands subconsciously reached for your waist and then up to caress the rest of your body. “Oh god, dear god, my god…you’re so unbelievingly stunning.” He watched as the sun shone on your chest, how the tiny droplets of water shone, and suddenly became jealous of the light. How it hugged and caressed every inch of you when it should be him. He sat up ever so slightly. “I need to kiss you everywhere. I need to touch you everywhere…” his hands were jolting in excitement from the sparks he felt from your skin. “Can I do that? Can I have all of you?” He asked. He begged.

“Of course you can.” You softly shared a kiss in the orange glow on the sunset before it turned more and more passionate. Bob nervously fumbled with the button on your jeans which you were happy to oblige helping taking them off. You wriggled out of them and Bob began kissing up your leg and then to the inside of your thigh.

“So, so perfect.” He said between kisses “You’re so fucking perfect, my sunshine.” You felt a flush rush up your chest and to your cheeks at his words. You suddenly felt him stop kissing and you looked down, find him completely transfixed on your underwear. You ran a hand through his curls and he glanced up, as if asking for permission without moving his mouth. You nodded and rest your head on the pillow behind you, feeling his head move closer to the other wet spot on you. Bob gently kissed it, a soft growl leaving his lips as he tasted you on them. You gasped hearing a rip and found your underwear between both his hands as his eyes bounced between them in surprise at himself. “S-sorry I just- holy shit.” He dropped the shedded material and sat backwards in awe at you. All of you. “You’re the most goddamn beautiful person I’ve ever seen in my whole life Y/N.” He then crawled towards you “I bet you’re even prettier when you come…”

“B-Bob!” You gasped in delight as his tongue explored every curve and fold of your wet pussy. You groaned and grabbed onto his hair tightly “Oh god baby, just like that, god YES!” Your sounds only encouraged him more and he added his fingers into the mix, gently pumping one hand in and out of your pussy sand the other rubbing your clit while continuing to eat you out. “God Bob!” You moaned “What did I do you deserve this?!” You could feel him smile as he continued sending waves of pure pleasure through your body. You both locked eyes, he watched you intently how your face and body contorted in the sunlight, what was just right and made a mental note of it so he knew what he could do again to draw these stunning reactions from you.

Bob pulled away and you just had enough time to catch a single breath before kissing you with his slick lips. He giggled as he wiped the rest of his face “You deserve that all the time, my sunshine.” He kissed you again “Believe me I’ll be doing that all the time anyway because you taste so fucking good.” His tongue found yours and danced across it, letting you taste your own sweet mess that he made. He felt you try to undo the belt of his trousers which made him gently laugh against your lips. “Someone is excited,” he teased and you playfully bit his lip as retaliation. “It’s okay,” his hand found yours and moved it from the belt to his already rock hard cock “I’m excited too.” He spoke so innocently and softly while doing the least innocent thing which made you even weaker at the knees for him.

Bob stood up and in one swift and smooth motion, his trousers and boxers were off. You propped yourself up on your elbows, jaw almost hitting the floor at the sight of him. “Y-y-you’re…wow. Just wow.” Bob bashfully swatted away your comments “I’m serious Bob, you’re so beautiful…” your voice could raise barely above a whisper.

“I think I’m pretty well endowed…” He jested and you raised a brow at his underestimated comment. He walked towards you “You look so pretty with your mouth open for me like that, sunshine.” You smirked and opened wider, causing Bob to chuckle. “As much as I’d love that pretty open mouth to take me…” his thumb swiped over your lips and tongue before brining it to his own mouth and licking it with a groan. “It’s that pretty pussy I need. I need to feel that tight, wet, pretty pussy swallow my cock, sunshine. Can it do that?” You practically throw him on top of you, passionately kissing him as he laughed between your lips and said “I take it that’s a yes?” You smiled and gazed in his eyes as he pulled back. “Let me just grab a con-“

“Bob, it’s okay. Being injected with super solider serum and all…” you hinted in a round about kinda way that it would be fine.

He almost choked on his drool at the fact and said it aloud “I-I get to come inside you? I can come inside you?”

“Yes…” you smiled and then dozens of kisses grazed your face and your neck and across your bare chest. You looked up and saw Bob, glowing in the last burning orange light of the day before his lips reached yours again and he gently moved his hips forward towards yours and slid himself inside you. You tightly gripped onto his shoulders as you both let out a groan in delight.

There was no denying the man was right, he was very well endowed. “C’mon baby, you wanna take me all? I can feel that little pussy of yours squeezing my cock so good,” you widened your legs a little more and he moaned “That’s it, take all of me, I wanna give you all of me.” He started moving his hips back and forth and you shuddered in pure bliss.

“Just like that, Bob, god please don’t stop!” You begged as you held onto him for dear life.

He kissed you “Baby if I had it my way I would never stop, I’d never leave this perfect pussy.” You moaned in his ear and he picked up the speed a little. “C’mon my sunshine, so goddamn beautiful, more beautiful as that sunset out there. I love you, I love you so much Y/N.”

“I love you too Bob,” you said between pants and moans. “God I think…I’m gonna come Bob.”

“That’s it baby, come for me, come all over my cock I wanna feel you come for me.” Your face and body contorted in a wave of pleasure and Bob wrapped his arms around you, gently cradling you through your orgasm while still thrusting. “Oh god that was so fucking hot, you’re gonna make me” Bob practically screamed out as he came inside you before landing on your chest panting and trying to catch his breaths. “Holy shit…” he tiredly giggled and you wrapped your arms around him, resting your chin on his head with a smile on your face.

“Good day?” You asked.

“The best goddamn day of my life.” He turned his head and let his lips lock to yours as he pulled out and then sat on his knees to look at his work. “I thought that pussy couldn’t get any prettier,” he lay back on top of you and kissed you again “Turns out it’s just as pretty with all of me coming out of it.” You bashfully smiled and burried your face into the crook of his neck. “Someone getting all nervous on me now? All shy after all that? You’re too cute.” He teased and you shuffled around on the couch so you were laying next to him you looked up and shared a soft, lingering kiss. The stars were steadily burying into the night sky as the sun disappeared over the horizon.

You lazily traced pattered on his chest while he held you close, your limbs intertwined and both your worlds in complete peace.

That was until the doors opened and you both tensely grabbed one another, Bob practically pulling you on top of him as if that would hide you both any more than you were exposed now.

“I told you not to do anything stupid Alexei! Next time you’ll have to get yourself out of your own mess,” Yelena complained.

“Hey guys we’re home!” John called out. “Y/N? Bob?”

You and Bob remained hidden behind the back of the couch, hoping that they wouldn’t spot either of you. “Hey Y/N? We’re back!” You heard Bucky called.

“Maybe there are sleeping?” Ava said “It’s pretty early though, but they could be in their rooms?”

“Whatever, it’s royal rumble tonight! The sofa is mine!” Alexei called out and ran towards the sofa before you called out.

“Stop! No I’m here!” You peeked your head over the back of the sofa. “Hi guys, how was the mission?”

Everyone raised a brow at the same time with a stunned silent look on their faces. “Um…yeah it was good. Are you okay?” John asked and you nodded your head yes with a tight, nervous smile. “Are you…” he looked at your exposed shoulders “Uh…are you…” Bucky snapped his head to John and glared at him, ensuring he chose his next words carefully. “Are you wearing…anything?” With the same tight smile you shook your head no.

Bucky groaned and held his head in his hands. “You’re shitting me. You didn’t. Not there.”

“Uh…well.”

“Where is he?” Bucky clutched his hands into a fist, everyone still completely dumbfounded to what was happening.

“Would you kill us if I told you he’s underneath me?” Bob slowly raised his head and turned to look at everyone.

“Hi guys, how’s it going?” He waved and you were trying to look anywhere beside the wide gawking mouths and even wider eyes staring back at you both. “We did the dishes.”

“Yeah and then did each other…” Yelena smirked and everyone, aside from your brother, stifled a laugh.

You groaned, trying to shield yourself with a pillow and a throw “You guys we, we love each other very much and we’ve never had a moment alone!” Ava and Yelena ‘aww’ed��� while John and Alexei were silently shooting Bob a thumbs up. “I’ll buy a new sofa!”

“Please god do it in a bed next time.” Bucky grumbled while walking away. “I’m getting a drink. A large drink.”

“Don’t worry there will be a next time and we will probably do it in a bed at some point.” Bob shouted out and you cupped his hand with your mouth, nervously laughing. The team had the decency to vacate while you both threw on your now dry clothes.

It was only when walking hand in hand with Bob back to your room did you notice your shredded underwear peaking out of his front pocket. You tapped his chest with a dropped jaw and pointed at it. Bob winked and held his finger over his lips, telling you to not let on.

“Gotta keep a memory of you and our first time together, my sunshine.”

—————

Tags are open! ✨

[dumbkiri]

𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐀𝐊 𝐎𝐅 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐒 8

χα∂єη яισяѕση χ ƒ! мαιяι! яєα∂єя

ρℓσт: everything in Xaden's POV

19 pgs, 6.3k words

FIRST MATING BOND INCIDENT

“This is a mistake. I don’t want this. You don’t. It’s their mating bond.” 

Gods, this was a huge misunderstanding. I wanted to clear my head of all the possibilities, all the ends on how I could finish my time here at this college. To catch a cold breath of fresh air, admiring the moon that reminded me so much of her; [Name] Mairi. 

But not everything goes according to plan, Violet always throws something at me. This time it’s the bond between our dragons making her crave me. Want me in a way I wanted [Name]. 

“How can you ignore it? Tairn’s feelings are so strong and-”

“Close him out,” I say with my hands holding Violet away from me. The marks on my neck burned with her desire. It begged for the cool kisses that [Name] gives, her soft lips that made every worry disappear. “I cannot do this with you. I am your wingleader and [Name]-” 

Violet pushed herself forward into my chest, her eyes staring deeply into my own. And with a seductive whisper she says, “Don’t talk about another girl when I stand here wanting you. Needing you.” 

She doesn’t know that [Name] would kick her ass. That the woman I’ve been pinning after for years is capable of such ferocity. Violet hasn’t gotten the chance to meet my deadly partner. For good measure too. After Imogen and the others displayed how much they wanted to kill Lilith Sorrengail’s daughter, I tried to keep Violet away from [Name]. 

Not that she kills without reason. 

If the others could express how much they hated Violet in a matter of seconds, [Name] would have no problem actually killing the youngest Sorrengail. She valued family. A Sorrengail could be the very threat that she will need to eliminate in order to protect them. 

However I couldn’t allow it, not after the favor I owe to Lilith Sorrengail. 

When Violet’s lips touched my neck again, my body shivered in repulsion, but Sgaeyl’s pleasure for her mate reached me. I can’t do this. Let a mating bond between dragons get between my partner and I. Some will say it would be fine because we weren’t exclusive. But fuck them. 

She’s my cloak of shadows. And as sappy as it is, she’s my one and only love. [Name] Mairi will be mine and I will be hers. 

If [Name] found out about this, she would never forgive me. I would never forgive myself for doing this to her. I need to stop this before it goes even further. I raised my shields up and made up my mind. 

Violet wrapped her slender arms around my neck and tugged me down towards her. Our faces were inches apart and when she closed her eyes, leaning in I pushed her away. I must have pushed her hard because she stumbled back with surprise written all over her face. 

“You should have let me finish,” I scowled, rubbing the marks she left on my neck with disgust, “[Name] Mairi is her name and you will remember it. Now go to bed, Cadet Sorrengail. That’s an order.” 

……

It’s after hours and I lay in my bed staring at my ceiling with endless thoughts running amuck. Memories tormenting me for good reason. The guilt and the shame ate away at me as she slept for months. 

I don’t know how many times I’ve fucked up this year. From ignoring [Name] because of the incident with Violet, for removing all of her friends from her so they could focus on protecting Violet, to blaming her for the unbonded incident, to almost everything that has gone wrong this year. 

Blaming [Name] tore me down for quite awhile. I wished Imogen would erase my memories of me pinning it onto [Name] because even thinking back to it made me pissed at myself. 

…

UNBONDED INCIDENT

[Name] wouldn’t do this. 

“I-I saw a shimmer,” Violet repeated, her eyes focused on the floor in thought. She tried her best to remember who else was here. To remember who let the unbonded riders into her room. She looked up from the floor to lock eyes with my own, her mouth moving with a truth I couldn’t believe in. 

“Liam described her cloak before, but why?” Violet questioned, almost hysterical, “Why would his sister let unbonded riders into my room if it puts you in danger? Xaden, what the hell is going on? I didn’t do anything to her.”

Say it isn’t so. 

“She wouldn’t. I know her.” I snapped.

Yet I knew Violet had no reason to lie. She was telling the truth. 

 “Get Liam in here and have him watch over her this time.” 

The demand left my mouth with a seething rage and Bodhi was the first to act. He left Violet’s room while Garrick stood behind me with his arms crossed. We were both stunned by the information Violet gave us. 

Violet is telling us that she saw [Name]’s cloak. How can we process this information in the right amount of time? It’s fucking impossible when Violet sits in front of me trembling, eyes blown wide in fear. I need to react in a timely manner. 

“Garrick, when Bodhi comes back,” I stand with my hands clenched up, “Go wake Imogen and meet me at [Name]’s room. I need her to open her door.” 

“Xaden, you don’t really think-” 

“I don’t know what to think!” I snapped like a dragon does when it’s annoyed, pissed off, “All I know is that Violet isn’t lying. We need to see if [Name]’s in her room. Meet me there.” 

I walk briskly to [Name]’s room trying to think rationally. But Violet’s fear drowned me. Her accusing words clouded my mind. I can’t think clearly. The shadows in the night reacted to my emotions, flicking with madness. 

The earlier events of us barging into her room uninvited flashed behind my eyes. [Name] almost killed Violet with her kunai aimed directly at her head. Could it be that she tried to finish the job? 

Did [Name] do this out of spite? Jealousy? To get out of training Violet? Or to return to normalcy when Violet didn’t exist. After all, we were a lot happier before she arrived. Before my favor to Lilith Sorrengail drove a wedge between us. 

“Xaden, what is going on?” 

Imogen’s voice snapped me back to reality and I stopped pacing, not realizing I started when I began to think of all the possibilities, all the motives for [Name] to kill Violet. 

“Open it now.” 

No hesitation this time, Imogen opened the door and we all took a peek inside to find it empty. [Name]’s bed was made, my shirts still hanging over her chair, and her kunais laid out on her desk. She wasn’t here which means she did go on a flight with Lenin. 

Sgaeyl. 

Imogen pulled me into [Name]’s room the moment I reached out to my dragon. I paid little attention to what she had to say. All I wanted was to speak to my dragon, to know if she was with [Name]. 

“Are you with [Name] right now?” 

Immediately, Sgaeyl reached back out, “I told you that I was going to fly with or without you. I made my decision, Shadow.”

“Meet me in the flight field,” I turned away from my family, “I need to speak with her.” 

“Where are you going?” Garrick asked. 

Rounding the corner, I said with a clipped tone, “To the flight field.” 

..

“Watch how you approach us,” Sgaeyl warned with her snout pressed against [Name]’s palm, but her first warning flew past me like the leaves of the trees that fell under the pressure of their beating wings. 

“Back the hell away from Sgaeyl!” 

[Name] quickly turned away from my blue dragon with wide eyes. She pulled her hand away with confusion and embarrassment on her face. The more I looked at her, in her stupified state, told me that I should calm down. But all I felt in this moment was the betrayal. 

Did she really want me dead? Did she want her own dragon mourning his parents for the jealousy she had aimed at Violet? 

How could she do this? 

“Violet was attacked, Sgaeyl. Your mate could have died, we could have died!” 

In a second, Sgaeyl relayed the information to Lenin and the midnight blue dragon leaned his head down. The way his neck slithered downward to hide [Name] from me proved to me that I really did need to calm down. I’m threatening his rider with an accusation so damaging. 

To her. To me. To us. 

“You are agitating, Lenin,” This time, I listened to Sgaeyl’s warning and stopped my march towards [Name] being protected by her large dragon. I wouldn’t dare to impose on his territory, even if Sgaeyl would stop her son from frying me. 

Starting with a calm anger, I asked her the question. Without even thinking of the consequences that would follow it. 

“Did you let unbonded riders in Violet’s room?” 

A moment of silence passed between us. Only the sound of her dragon breathing through his flared nostrils became my source of grounding. Then I heard her scoff. 

Scoffing at my stupid question. Because yeah, in hindsight, it was stupid. Then she walked around Lenin’s neck, making her way over to me with a heated glare. A flicker of lilac in her blue eyes. 

“You seriously asking me that question? Why would I let unbonded riders into her room? The only way they can bond to Tairn is if she dies, but newsflash Xaden, Tairn and Sgaeyl will die if she does!”

Tairn and Sgaeyl will die. She didn’t even mention me. 

With a growl, I took a step closer to her, “She said that one got away and that they left with a shimmer, only your cloak shimmers.”

Suddenly, my anger and hurt was too much to contain. I grabbed her by the shoulders, digging my nails into her uniform. The words tha left my mouth were harsh, stupid, and I wish I could have taken them back because the look on her face was worse than the heartbreak. 

The look on her face didn’t stop me from saying,

“Don’t tell me that your jealousy got the best of you that you had to kill Violet. Tell me you aren’t that petty to kill her, us, or me!”

The silence was longer than the previous and the look on her face. Fuck. It tore me apart. She relaxed in my hold, her once tense muscles lacking in the usual strength. Her usual determination faltered all because of me. 

“My cloak doesn’t shimmer anymore, Xaden.” 

Dejected. Broken. Defeated.

I just made the woman I’m in love with break in my hands. I shattered her into a million pieces because of this accusation. Because I’m fucking stupid enough to question her power, her loyalty to me. 

[Name] wasn’t done with me. 

“I may be jealous of her, but I’m not the one who broke a promise. I may hate her for stealing my friends and family, but I wouldn’t kill her out of spite. I just told you yesterday that I was willing to put my differences aside and train her.”

“Then why did she describe your cloak?” I pulled my hands away that yearned to comfort her. I couldn’t provide her that after I just blamed her for something so horrible. 

“I don’t know, but I was flying out with Sgaeyl and Lenin. They can vouch for me, we’ve been flying out for hours.”

“It’s true, we were gone long before the girl was attacked,” Sgaeyl confirmed. 

Now it was my turn for my heart to shatter. For my mind to clear away the guck. 

“I hope you find the true culprit,” Her passing words made goosebumps rise on my arms. [Name] spoke with no ill-intention, she really did want me to find the one who actually let the unbonded in Violet’s room. 

I have to stop her. To get to the bottom of it. No one knows how to cloak besides her. She’s the only one with that ability. And I wanted to apologize after the haze of my anger washed away. 

“[Name], where are you going? I’m not done asking questions.” I turned around swiftly, not daring to take that step because she made up her mind. 

“I’m going to forget this conversation ever happened.” 

And we both know only one person can help her with that. So I let her go. 

..

I am an asshole. I am reminded every time when Imogen glares at me from tables away while [Name] talks her ears off about their classes. I do my best to act like nothing bothers me as usual, but Garrick shakes his head with a sigh. 

“Have you tried having a conversation with [Name]?” 

I scoffed and said, “After the last one? No. With her guard dog right next to her? Hell no. Imogen will bite before I can get a word in.” 

This earned a chuckle from Garrick and he took a few bites of his food. Then he swallowed and gestured over to Violet’s table, “Well at least Violet and her friends are excited to see [Name] fight. Liam has been hyping up his sister ever since she accepted to train Violet.”

“[Name] is a phenomenal fighter, she deserves the praise leaving Liam’s mouth,” I say not removing my eyes away from Imogen’s glare. 

“You don’t need to remind me. My head is still spinning from last year.”

Yeah, we all remember that day clearly. It was when the bet started. Bodhi teased and teased the girls doing his usual trolling to catch them off guard before challenges. [Name] took the bait and the two of them created something so humiliating for both sides. 

The boys will have to bark in surrender. And the girls will have to meow. 

[Name] and Imogen versus Bodhi, Garrick and myself. The girls obviously had a disadvantage considering it was a 2v3 situation, but they are annoyingly stubborn. Calling us misogynistic for doubting the fairness of it, but Bodhi countered by saying he loves women very much, all power to them. 

And surprisingly, [Name] gave herself and Imogen a point that day by making Garrick surrender. She landed the most lethal kick to his head that if it weren’t for his reaction to blocking it, I’m pretty sure Garrick wouldn’t be sitting across from me. 

She made him fall flat into the mat, a line of saliva leaving past his lips. Then she gasped out loud, shaking him by his shoulders begging for him to bark. 

“Garrick, no!” [Name] whined, “You have to bark! Bark, dammit!” 

[Name] was lucky Garrick woke up, listening to her demands in his daze, giving her and Imogen the smallest ‘woof’ known to mankind. Like a little puppy. Which gave the girls all the teasing power to call us “Little Bodhi” or “Little Garrick” to patronize us. Luckily for me or them, I hadn’t been able to challenge them. 

“What happened on the flight field?” Garrick finally asked and I pushed my plate away. Appetite gone. 

The look on [Name]’s face flashed behind my eyes. Devastation. Heartbreak. Tired. 

“I broke her heart.” 

“Then go fix it,” Garrick slammed his drink down after chugging it. 

Yeah, if only it were that easy. 

…

TRAINING VIOLET

“Whatever you do, don’t throw your daggers,” I warned Violet, my eyes on [Name] holding her purple kunai in her grip. 

“It’s called a surprise attack.”

I can feel Violet rolling her eyes without even looking at her. Fine, if she wants to deal with a pissed teacher, so be it. 

“I warned you.” 

Violet let the daggers in her hand fly towards [Name] with a swiftness I almost admired. Yet [Name] deflected them with her kunai with an ease that left everyone gawking. At least the ones that didn’t know her. 

[Name] picked up Violet’s daggers and expressed how Violet should never toss her only defense away. She had a very good point. Because Violet was nothing without them. 

“I have ten more!” 

Well, I know Violet is really testing [Name]’s patience because she turned away from the Sorrengail. Her blue eyes moved to Lenin’s chest and she turned back around with a heavy sigh, throwing a threat at Violet before readying up. 

The practice began and I watched [Name], not even focusing on the incorrect swinging stance Violet demonstrated. When watching [Name] fight, I swear my heart races at the lethality she possessed. She moved like water, freely and flowing. 

She explained to Violet how the move she used could help with opponents slightly bigger than her, but not as big as Garrick or Jack Barlowe. Then I watched a figure in the dark make his way over to Violet and [Name]. My eyes squinted to catch a hint of their conversation or his intention. 

Bodhi and [Name] talked to each other like they’ve been attached at the hip. When Violet joined the observer side, I crossed my arms over my chest and watched the two on the mat with scrutiny. 

Is this some kind of joke? 

“I mean this in the nicest way, but Violet, you do not make fighting look this hot.” When one of Violet’s friends spoke up with enamor, my body tensed up. I know all about how damn sexy [Name] is when she fights. It’s because she’s confident, strong and beautiful.  [Name] knows it too. I used to tell her every time I saw her fight someone on the mat. 

What I didn’t anticipate in the sparring between Bodhi and [Name] was the squeak she let out in surprise. There’s rarely a chance she gets caught off guard, very slim. But Bodhi caught her kick in his hand with this stupid smirk on his face. 

Then he threw her off balance, her back meeting the mat him following after her to keep her pinned. 

“You little minx.” 

What the hell did he just call her? I’m not the only one uncomfortable with the display Bodhi was putting on because Liam shifted in his spot. Then Bodhi pressed himself further into her and I had enough. Stalking my way to them, I know Bodhi sensed my jealousy because [Name] reacted to his loosened up grip on her leg. She captured him in a headlock and they both bantered back and forth. 

Bodhi’s hands moved up her thighs, his fingers dancing their way up to her sides and I walked a bit faster to stop this display of affection. I hated when someone else put their hands on [Name] like this. Oh, the way I wanted to be in Bodhi’s position right now. 

“Focus, Shadow,” Sgaeyl instructed. 

“You two done?” I cut in, more like I budged my way into the conversation acting like I wasn’t stupidly jealous of what's going on. Bodhi didn’t say anything while [Name] ignored my gaze, but she did tell me what Bodhi needed to do in order to get out of her death grip. 

Bark. Of course. 

I gritted my teeth, rolling my eyes at how I fell into this trap. This stupid bet between us was a trap and I will not recover from how she played me like some lovesick fool. I am, but the observers know that now. 

I walked back to the group and told Violet all she needed to know and learn from [Name]. I even had to explain the bet when Bodhi barked and some idiot with a dumb grin on his face spoke up. 

“Hey, [Name]! I can make your kitty purr.” 

Another trap laid out in the open and again, for her, I fell into it. 

“Try making me bark first.” The growl in my throat bubbled up yet dissipated when she laughed. Right, she had a beautiful laugh too. Light. Airy. Music to my ears. 

Did you forget that your sister has feelings too?

Imogen’s question to Liam made my heart squeeze in regret. I really need to fix hers like Garrick told me to. I can’t keep her in the shadows for so long. Then for some reason, Lenin began roaring, loud…this is the loudest I’ve heard him. 

“Tell Violet she doesn’t know about the unbonded. Lenin will not accept her apology.” Sgaeyl’s voice penetrated my head while her son kept up with the deafening sound. I told Violet, telling her that it was in the best interest for everyone that [Name] doesn’t know this. 

When Violet gave me a subtle nod, Lenin stopped roaring and pulled his head back with a snarl. Much like the one Tairn gave to [Name] earlier before she fought Violet. 

“So do we run now?” Liam questioned and right when I came up with instructions, [Name] demanded that no one say a word. Removing Bodhi from the group and cloaking everything. The dragons, the mat, all of us besides Tairn, Sgaeyl, Lenin, Bodhi and herself. 

I realized how much she could do. 

“Really, you two again?” Professor Kaori slumped with a shake of his head, but his words insinuated something. 

Something that made my hands clench up. 

“Ah, Professor Kaori!” Her blue eyes dazzled in the light, “Sorry for the wakeup call. You know Lenin was just arguing with his parents like usual.”

“You think I’m going to fall for that a second time?” 

A second time? So Professor Kaori has seen Bodhi with [Name] outside two times. She wasn’t going to give up this defense, it was the only one that would work for her right now. Especially with Tairn and Sgaeyl by Lenin’s side. 

However, I could not move on from what the insinuation meant. Bodhi and [Name], alone and caught in some act by Professor Kaori. 

“Damn, it’s so cold,” The female friend of Violet spoke up and Professor Kaori perked up in confusion. I sent a glare at Violet and she in turn shrugged her shoulders. Not knowing what to do. Everyone was holding themselves with their arms, their heavy breaths seen underneath. 

I hadn’t noticed the coldness of [Name]’s cloak like everyone else. I’m guessing it gets colder the more she covers. 

With Kaori’s sigh, he said, “You have a great signet, Mairi. You should expand on it more than hiding your escapades with Durran here. I’m growing tired of seeing you two by the way.”

Escapades with Bodhi. Tired of seeing them together. I see how it is now. [Name] has been hanging out with Bodhi more often. My own cousin is getting closer to the woman I love. He’s willing to lose his balls all for some petty revenge. 

“You cannot blame her for that. I will say your jealousy is ugly, Shadow,” Sgaeyl chimed in. 

It didn’t help that Bodhi grabbed her with careful hands and a charming smile leaving the flight field with Kaori’s warning. When the three of them left the field, that is when the cloak fell, nonexistent. 

“Hey, Wingleader, I think your cousin just took your girl.” 

This guy’s voice was getting on my last nerve. Not even the mumbles of his friends telling him to shut up helped. All I can think about is [Name]’s smile and the reason for it. I didn’t make her smile. I haven’t in a long time. 

Bodhi is the reason for that pretty smile on her face. 

“Get some rest and don’t forget to bring the mat in.” I walked away from the group ignoring the suspicious mutters about the relationship between Bodhi and [Name]. 

…

AFTER RSC

“[Name] told Dain about her signet.” Imogen sat next to Bodhi at the table. 

Unbothered, I ate my food. 

“Hello~” Imogen waved her hand in front of my face and I sighed, “So what?” 

Imogen looked at Bodhi then to Garrick for an answer, but they were stumped as much as she was. “Am I the only one worried for her? For us?” 

“Aetos won’t be able to do anything,” I say with certainty. 

“How can you know that? If he tells his dad which he will then-” 

“She will be able to put her shields up, Imogen,” I interrupted. I really don’t have the energy to argue right now. My head is killing me. “[Name] is capable of protecting herself. Nothing will be shown to Aetos. Nothing.” 

“Okay,” Imogen breathed, defeated and slumped shoulders.

…

VISION INCIDENT

Her skin felt ice cold. Her chest stopped moving. Random items in her room swirled around the four of us. Bodhi and Imogen’s frantic words died out in the background. Asking me what we should do. 

I tried performing chest compressions on her the first five minutes. It didn’t work. So I sat beside her and grabbed her cold hand. With my other hand, I caressed her cheek pulling myself closer to her. 

“Breathe.” I begged her. I tightened my grip on her hand, counting the minutes that went by in agony. 

“Take the first breath, you can do it.” I can feel the burning in my eyes. 

I trailed my thumb from her cheek down toward her throat, “Breathe, [Name].” 

When she shot up in her bed taking that well needed breath, I removed myself from her in an instance caught off by her speed. The whirlpool of objects immediately fell and [Name] looked at us with confusion then she burst into heavy tears. Sobs wracking her body. 

“I died.” 

I couldn’t hold myself back any longer. She fell apart right in front of me and because I didn’t fix her heart before, I will be here to hold her together. I wrapped my arms around her body and pulled her to me. Her chest rose and fell with those breaths and I felt extremely relieved. Grateful that her lungs inhaled and exhaled. 

“You’re here, [Name],” I whisper in her ear, my lips brushing the strands of her hair, “and I’m here with you.” 

Faithfully, I promised. Although I know the message didn’t get to her. The unease of being in my arms, the confusion that clouded her mind. 

While I held her, her tears dampened my shirt and I could care less. Because these tears allowed me to squeeze her more into me. To feel her warmth and to speak to my dragon with a clear mind. 

I dropped my hands to her waist and slightly pulled away from her, ignoring the burning behind my eyes. “[Name], you need to let Lenin know that you’re okay.” 

She looked at me with her blue eyes crying endless tears, “W-what do you mean?” 

I lifted a slow hand and brushed the hair from her face, staring into those ocean blue eyes, “You closed the bond off to Lenin. He needs you to reach out.” 

“But I…” She closed her eyes and already I’m missing them. Her beautiful blues. Her shoulders dropped in relaxation as she made the connection with Lenin. Many times I am grateful for her dragon, for Sgaeyl’s son. 

After all, this creature is her best friend. They made a bond to talk about for centuries. I knew the moment she talked about her presentation that Lenin wanted her. Sgaeyl told me so. That her son found his rider, a woman with blue eyes and [h.color] hair. 

Sgaeyl described Lenin’s happiness, that he chuffed about how strong [Name] was. Something powerful laid dormant in her soul and he wanted to be the one to bond to her, to be hers. 

When she opened her eyes, to come back to me, I stared at her with no words spoken. [Name] broke the ice and smiled at me. If she knew about the unbonded incident, we wouldn't be sitting here. She wouldn’t be in my arms. 

“Thank you for waking me up.” 

She said, what? Her lips moved with sincerity, her smile still present. 

“You heard me?” I drew my eyes back into hers. 

“Unless it was someone else praying that I take a breath then yes. I heard your voice so clearly telling me to breathe. Probably explains the surreal moment in my dream.” 

“Hopefully.” I said, holding back the information that she wasn’t breathing for nine whole minutes. Minutes I spent praying like she said for her to breathe. I looked down at my hands finding comfort on her waist and resisted the urge to bring her closer to me. 

I’ve done enough. I wouldn’t want to make her uneasy. 

I forced myself to step away from her. To join Imogen and Bodhi off to the sideline. I will need to talk to them and have this kept between the three of us. No one needs to know what happened here. 

“I need to tell you guys what happened.” 

As much as I didn’t want to know, I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep if she didn’t say a word. Imogen was the first to protest, telling [Name] that she wasn’t breathing for minutes. Now the cat’s out of the bag. So much for wanting to be kept to us. 

Bodhi agreed with Imogen and I wanted to say that we can talk about it after some rest. We could meet in secret, but the determined look in her eyes swayed me. I looked at her sitting upright in her bed, her hands fisting her blankets in a tight grip. 

“I would like to know what happened with Dagger,” Sgaeyl’s said. 

“We will.” I say back with confidence. 

“Whatever you may feel, it happened and I need to get this off my shoulders. It hurts to think of what I saw, what I felt and what my last thoughts were.”

“I’m willing to listen for the three of us. Let them leave without knowing this information. It will distract them.” I say with reason for Bodhi and Imogen to leave the room. Then [Name] spoke of her dream and I couldn’t help, but fear for her life. 

Falling. She dreamed of the moon. She dreamt of Lenin crying out to her. A sudden urge to protect her came from Sgaeyl and she said, “Nothing will happen to Dagger. My son’s love for her will be too much to handle if she dies. We cannot let this happen, Shadow.”

“We won’t.” I promised because I too will fall into despair. 

…

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Three knocks at my door took me off the train of memories. I pushed myself off the chair and rubbed my temples with rough fingers. Sgaeyl and Tairn have made up it seems, and her feelings for her mate are crashing into me like heavy waves. They’ve been going at it for hours and dwelling into sad memories did well to block her out. 

Sgaeyl and Tairn made up. The thought crossed my mind too late. 

I regret opening my door because standing before me was a disheveled and riled up Violet Sorrengail. She pushed herself into my room and I closed the door behind her with a raised brow. Then she pressed herself up against me, my back meeting my door and she began marking my neck with her lips and teeth. Kissing me like I belonged to her. As if my lips were hers to have. 

She’s under the spell of the mating bond. I tilt my head away from her disconnecting my lips from hers, my scowl deeping with disgust and I push her away. 

“Violet,” I say in warning. 

She looked back at me and with clenched hands, she said, “Please, just let it happen this one time. I need you and Tairn’s feelings for Sgaeyl-.” 

“I have a girlfriend.” I say with gritted teeth, anger bubbling in my chest as I crossed my arms over my chest. That didn’t stop her from taking her shirt off and I quickly turned away from her. I will not lay my eyes onto another woman. 

[Name] is in a coma and I will wait for her, no matter how long it will take. 

“Xaden, look at me,” Violet whispered.

“Not in a million years,” I bit back. 

Knock….knock. 

Two more knocks on my door interrupted Violet undressing herself and I tossed one of my shirts at her. “Wear this and do not say anything.” I told her and wiped the bit of saliva she left on my neck with repulsion. Then I opened my door with a snarky tone leaving me, “What is it now- [Name]?” 

No…no, no,no. I tell myself that this is all wrong. The timing. The moment. Everything about now! 

“Hi.” 

She says shyly and all the butterflies in my stomach die the moment I can feel the burning on my neck. I took a peek into my room and glared at a hazy Violet, “Stay the fuck inside.” I hope my threatening voice was enough to keep her hidden. Then I closed my door gently looking back at [Name]. 

She must notice my neck decorated in ugly hickeys. But her pretty blue eyes haven’t left my eyes. 

“I wanted to speak to you. I know I have been sleeping for a very long time now, but I think I know almost everything about me. About my signet and I want to explain it to Sgaeyl too. With all that’s going on with Lenin.”

Lenin. Yeah, Sgaeyl would love to know why her son is changing drastically. 

“If I could just-” 

My door opened up behind me and my body froze up, Violet’s voice making my heart race. “Xaden, what are you-” 

[Name] moved to look behind me and I saw her eyes flash with hurt again. I hurt her in so many ways and I subconsciously moved my hand up to my neck. My palm brushed the marks Violet left in her wake and [Name] glared at them. 

Suddenly she laughed, “So I just woke up from my coma. I just wanted a word with you, but you seem very occupied. We can talk some other time.” 

“Speak! Leninach is giving you a chance to explain!”

Explain, yes. I can explain to her. 

“It’s the mating bond, [Name],” I say, testing out the waters with her. “Sgaeyl and Tairn haven’t had sex in a long time. In months. So when Lenin awoke and they knew he was okay, their feelings came in strong.” 

“So every time they fuck, you two will have some fun too?” Her response came before I could explain that we only kissed, and that was on Violet’s inability to shield. I resisted her every time with some fails like this one. But I didn’t make a move on her. Not once. 

“No,” I said to the part of fucking. I don’t want Violet, I want her. “It’s happened before, yes. But we try not to let their feelings-” 

“That’s all I need to know, Xaden,” [Name] says truthfully, looking away from me. 

“Be more specific, Shadow! She thinks you are with that girl now!” 

 No, that’s not what I meant. She has to know this. I would never do this to her. Then her next words came in and I swore I felt gravity pull me closer to the earth. 

“My death cannot come soon enough.” 

Stop. She needs to stop speaking and let me explain. I grabbed her wrist, pulling her hand out of her jacket pocket. Then I tell her, “Take it back.” Take her words back and tell me that she doesn’t want to die. I don’t want her to leave me. Cold. Unbreathing. Dead. 

In a swift motion, I used my other hand to grab her face forcing her to look into my eyes, “You don’t mean that, [Name]. I know you don’t.” Because I can feel her, she didn’t want to die. She doesn’t want to leave this world. So why doesn’t she take it back and tell me. 

“It’s not that hard to put your shields up, is it?” 

Tears began forming in her eyes. No, it’s not. 

“You have no excuse, Riorson.” 

Please, don’t call me that. 

“I can forgive Violet for fucking my boyfriend. But I cannot forgive my boyfriend for letting his shields down to let himself indulge in a mating bond that isn’t his. Now let me go.” 

Hold her for a bit longer. Look into her eyes that stare at me with a profound amount of disappointment. Of hurt and anguish. 

“If I let you go, you won’t come back.” I whisper, still not over the words she wished for. A death no one will be happy about. I need her by my side or else I will fall apart. Lost in the shadows with no light to guide me through the unending darkness. 

“You already did when you held her.” 

She raised her arms up and slammed them against my own. At first I didn’t budge until I felt another presence nearby. Another disappointed Mairi watching from afar. I released her and [Name] walked away with the tears that finally fell. 

“Xaden, I didn’t mean-” 

“I told you one thing,” I turned around to face Violet, a rage so damned impossible to contain, “One fucking thing; stay inside. Do you have any idea what you’ve done? What I supposedly done? My girlfriend, the woman I really love, thinks I’m cheating on her. Going behind her back with you, a Sorrengail?”

“We can tell her-” 

“We?” I scoffed rolling my eyes at her, “There is no ‘we’, Violet. Never has been. I don’t like you. You’re alive for one reason and only one. Now get the fuck out of my sight.” 

Violet scrambled to get her shirt off the floor and ran in the direction of her room. Liam long gone after my spat. I will have to explain to him that there is nothing between Violet and I. Just a mating bond between our dragons. 

“Once Leninach is able to speak to her, I’m sure he will get her to listen to you.” 

“Please,” I begged, opening my door and closing it behind me, “I cannot let our last conversation be a fight.”

“We won’t let it.” Sgaeyl promised me. 

...

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[baisemains]

Elements of Desire

Chapter 8: Green Light

single mom!sevika x fem!reader

word count: 9.2k

contains: slight language, alcohol mention, a little angst, liiiitle bit of suggestive themes, mostly fluff though 😁

description: sevika tries turning the tables on you, but little she does she know that she's throwing both of you in the deep end.

ao3 link | spotify playlist

previous // sevika masterlist

As much as you had hoped you'd have time to explore this new avenue with Sevika after poker night, the science fair's second deadline was quickly approaching and all of your energy was focused on making sure Powder and Ekko were on top of their projects. You felt it in your gut that they both had a fighting chance and you were doing everything in your power to make sure they had the support they needed.

Sevika completely understood, of course, but a small, selfish part of her wished that you two could pause it all for one day and spend some time together. Between work and the girls, you two were like ships passing in the night, never able to grab a moment to do anything but send the occasional check in text.

She felt as if she was starting to go insane without you around, her thoughts filled with memories of the last time you were at her house. That night was constantly running around in her mind, as if it were a favorite movie of hers. The memory of your leg pressing against hers, and how she had to fight the urge to caress it. Or how she so badly wanted to slide her knee even further up between your thighs. These were the thoughts Sevika would lose herself fantasizing about when work got slow, but right now, she had to stay distracted or else she’d show up at your place unannounced and possibly embarrass herself.

So, for the next few days, that was your new normal. The occasional good morning message and seeing each other for a minute or two when Sevika picked Powder up, before you scurried off to check on Ekko's progress. Reminding herself this was only temporary, she bid you goodbye with a smile every single time, only letting it fall once you were out of sight. She had to be patient, you would both be able to continue this...thing that you had started soon, or at least that’s what she was hoping for. The thought of having you over and picking up right where you left off was the one thing keeping her mind in check through this seemingly endless stretch of separation.

The finish line finally comes into sight the day before the presentation when Sevika comes to pick Powder up and the girl heads to the bathroom. It's the first time in what feels like forever that you don't hurry out the door when she shows up, instead leaning against your desk with your legs crossed and your fingers interlaced. You ask Sevika permission to come over and coach the girl through it in person, since the circumstances from before didn’t let you be there physically. Letting out an internal sigh of relief, she tells you yes while holding back her grin from being too obvious, or at least she thinks she does. You see right through it, that telltale sparkle in her eye giving her away.

"Perfect. Since her presentation is at noon, I can be there around 11 if that works for you guys?"

Nodding, Sevika lets herself fully smile, having missed the unexpected confidence you exude around her. “We’ll be home. I'm helping out a friend with his car early in the morning, but I’ll be back by then. Could even whip something up if you're able to stick around for lunch.”

Hearing that Sevika was planning on cooking made you want to do a victory lap, and you can’t help yourself from letting her know just how much the thought excited you.

"Sounds great. I don't have to be at Ekko's until later in the afternoon, so I'll be all yours until then.” Sevika’s knees nearly buckle when you say that, trying her damnedest to act normal about the implication, and she takes a couple of deep breaths before answering.

“Good. I’m looking forward to it then.” And, because she can’t help herself, one more comment. “And you better bring your appetite.”

"I always do." You tilt your head slightly while giving her a once over to drive home the double entendre, and Sevika’s skin breaks out in goosebumps, mouth parting as she fumbles for a reply.

Your eyes settle their gaze pointedly on her lips before a pair of footsteps in the hallway bring you both back to reality. Looking away, you see Powder cross through the doorway and glance between the two of you, feeling the slightly charged atmosphere in the room.

“I'm ready, Mom.”

Sevika’s attention snaps to her daughter, her mind clearing just in time to respond. “Alright, let’s go then.”

You say your quick goodbyes, promising to see them the following day. Powder gives you a bright smile before disappearing back into the hallway, and Sevika shoots you one last look before leaving you alone with your thoughts. Once they’re out of sight, you lay back on your desk, body slumping as you groan into your hands. Tomorrow can’t come soon enough.

After a pleasantly restful night, you're springing out of bed, ready to take on the day. Setting your outfit aside before you head to the bathroom and get ready, your roommate texts you that breakfast is ready a short while later.

Heading to the kitchen, you see that everyone is there, and you smile at the fact that you’re all able to spend time together. They of course tease you about the fact that you’re going over Sevika’s later, knowing all the details about what happened at poker night the previous week. Your face heats up but you brush them off with a nonchalant shrug of your shoulder, though your internal monologue is squealing. Eventually, you have to head back to your room and finish getting ready, and when you do, you bid your roommates farewell, strolling to your car with an extra pep in your step.

Sevika woke up that morning with a start for the fourth time since her head hit the pillow hours ago. Rolling over to look at the clock, she was surprised to see it only read 6am. Not able to go back to sleep, she sat up and swung her legs out of bed before she headed into the kitchen for coffee.

While the pot percolated, she began planning out the first half of her day in her head. A quick shower and breakfast, then a couple hours spent working on her friend’s engine, and time to return home before you make it over. Speeding through her routine, she headed out after kissing both of her daughters goodbye and letting Powder know she’d be back by lunch. Her morning passes by quickly, the engine taking up all of her attention as it needed more work than she previously thought, so she's on her way home a little later than planned.

When Sevika arrives, she pulls up the garage door and begins taking off the sleeves of her dirty coveralls before seeing you sitting on the floor next to Powder. She instantly freezes when you look over at the interruption, eyes taking in her disheveled look; oil smeared on her face and undershirt, shoulder muscles and bicep bulging, plump bottom lip caught between her teeth.

The two of you stare at each other before Powder knocks something over and you blink away the haze before giving Sevika a tight smile. "Hey. Sorry I forgot to text you when I got here, Isha let me in and she was telling me about school."

The woman nods in agreement before walking over and placing a soft kiss to the top of Powder's head as a greeting. Shucking off the rest of her outer layer, she throws them into a hamper in the corner before standing next to the workbench and responding, “It’s all good. No harm done.”

That leaves her in just a t-shirt and cotton shorts, leaving plenty of skin for your eyes to rake over. You don't though, remembering that Powder's presentation is in less than an hour, and she still needs to go through her practice run. Turning away from Sevika, you begin asking the girl questions to double check her knowledge, and the older woman stands there watching you two for a moment in silent admiration.

She continues to take in the way your hand casually touches Powder’s shoulder every time you praise her for a correct answer or how your encouraging smile always lights up when she’s on the right track. It’s clear how much you care about her learning, and it pulls at something deep within Sevika’s chest, feeling grateful you're in their life.

"I'm gonna go take a shower, but I'll be back in time for the call."

Both of you murmur in agreement as Powder continues to run through the exercise, your eyes now tracking Sevika as she crosses the room to the doorway. She can feel your gaze following her the entire time, and it takes everything within her not to smirk at how your stare feels like a caress against her skin.

Half an hour later, Sevika rejoins the two of you in fresh clothes and all traces of dirt and oil wiped away. You take in the sight of her out of the corner of your eye, not trusting yourself to keep from staring yet again, and check your notes to make sure Powder hit all of the key points. Turning to the girl, you ask, "You wanna show your mom the whole thing before they call?"

Powder looks at you first, an excited smile taking over her face at the prospect of getting to see the look on her mother's face, before she shifts her gaze to Sevika, silently asking permission. Sevika nods once, a small grin appearing in the corner of her lips and a soft look in her eyes as she motions for her daughter to begin.

The girl fully dives in, going through the presentation with ease and answering all of the questions asked to the best of her ability. It takes a few minutes before she's finished, and Powder looks between you and Sevika with shining eyes, awaiting your validation.

"You did amazing, babe," Sevika praises warmly, bringing her into a tight hug. "I'm so proud of you and all your hard work." Pulling apart, she turns to you with a grin. "And you. Powder is so lucky to have you as a teacher."

As you shyly brush her off, Powder walks over to her project and begins arranging it for the official thing. Sevika then leans over to you and whispers, “You should be proud too. It’s obvious she learned a lot in your class."

“Thanks, but you should be taking most of the credit.” Sevika’s eyes crinkle at the praise, her expression clearly showing how much it means to her to hear the words spoken out loud.

You sit next to each other on the couch as Powder puts the finishing touches on, both of you watching with identical grins. You then glance at Sevika and take in the slight differences between her appearance from earlier in the day to now, your eyes lingering on a scar on her right forearm and a small bruise on her cheek. Every new thing you realize about her only endears you more and more, but it doesn't scare you as much as it normally would.

The ringing from the computer catches your attention and soon after, Powder is answering the board member with a polite smile. After exchanging pleasantries, she begins explaining her project, much like the first time several weeks ago, but with more conviction. She breezes through the first half with no problem, but after the first question the interviewer asks, Powder's gaze flicks toward you and you mouth the answer. It takes her a second to process it and your hands fidget in your lap as she does.

She's finally able to get the sentence out and when your hands wring together, Sevika places her own over them, calming you down for a second before your heartbeat picks up again. The woman keeps a gentle hold on you the entire time, her thumb rubbing over your knuckles in an attempt to soothe your nerves, but your attention is fixed on Powder. Even though you can see her falter ever so slightly, her answer is so well thought out and articulate, and the words just seem to flow from her mouth effortlessly.

With Powder near the end, Sevika tightens her grip on your hand as her nerves also make an appearance. The girl then begins her closing statement, her shoulders squared and pride gleaming in her eyes. After the presentation ends, you and Sevika wait in bated breath for the feedback. Although this board member was different than the last, they give the same cut and dry answer as before, only letting Powder know that her performance was satisfactory and they would reach out to her teacher with a decision in a week.

Even though she wished for more detailed feedback, Powder was still satisfied with the outcome, taking the result in stride. She turns to you, hands now separated from Sevika's, and hugs you tightly once you stand from the couch. "That was exciting! Kinda killed my vibe at the end when he didn't say much, but I think it went okay."

"It definitely went better than okay," Sevika reassures, patting her daughter's hair. "You kept your composure the entire time, even when he asked you that question you had to think about. That was the best part."

Powder eyes bounce back and forth between the two of you, a pink tint coating her cheeks.

"I couldn't have done it without either of you guys. I'm glad you're in my corner."

She then pulls you both into a group hug, squeezing tight as you and Sevika each wrap an arm around her. After a couple seconds, she releases you from her grip and stands back, patting her stomach. "I don't know about you guys, but I'm starving."

You both laugh at the girl's shift in mood, her appetite now taking over her thoughts, and you all make your way to the kitchen. Sevika had already started prepping before she joined you earlier, so she was now focused on finishing up as you sit in the living room with the girls. She watches as you easily slip into the conversation, switching between talking to Powder and Isha, then Vi and Caitlyn.

Calling everyone over to the table, Sevika wipes a hand on her Kiss the Cook apron you've come to love before pulling it off and taking a seat. All of you settle in front of the meal, the girls happily going straight for the food as you and Sevika both take an extra moment to soak everything in. Sevika takes notice of how at ease you are around the girls, watching you and Powder's playful banter and how you jokingly chastise Vi for trying to sneak food before everyone has been served.

Sevika feels her chest bloom with each glance in your direction, finding it hard to stay silent every time you throw your head back and laugh, the sound wrapping itself around her heart and making a home. Once everyone has finished eating, the girls all excuse themselves to the living room, leaving the two of you in easy conversation. Sevika stands and begins gathering the leftovers to put away, and you stand up to join her in clearing the table.

Now you’re both standing next to the sink, scrubbing dishes in comfortable silence while the girls chatter amongst themselves, and you let yourself relax in the moment. It’s familiar and domestic in the best way, and you find yourself wishing it could be like this all the time. When you look over at Sevika to make a comment about her fork collection, you see the clock on the wall behind her and let out a small sigh. It catches her attention and she turns to you with a slight furrow between her brows. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," you smile. "It's just that I told Ekko I would go over to rehearse before his presentation, so I should get going." Sevika's face drops and a pang of disappointment shoots through her core, but she's trying her best to maintain normalcy. "Oh, right."

"Thank you for lunch though, it was delicious, as always." You turn around and lean your back against the counter before nudging her shoulder with yours. "The company wasn't too bad either."

The small contact of your shoulder against hers snaps Sevika out of her mini internal crisis, and the smirk you give her makes her chest loosen up a bit. "You're just buttering me up to mooch off my cooking again, aren't you?"

"Maybe. Is it working?"

She can’t help but let a laugh bubble up in the back of her throat. "Annoyingly so."

“Mission accomplished then,” you reply with a beaming smile.

She rolls her eyes before shoving your shoulder with her own, a smirk taking over her features. “Yeah, yeah, you little charmer.”

Sevika then pushes away from the counter, throwing a clean kitchen towel so it hits you in the face. “I bet you sweet talk all your friends that way.”

Pursing your lips as you lightly shake your head, you tell her in a quieter voice, "Only the special ones."

Sevika’s eyes take on a different look when you say that, becoming just a little softer. "I'm honored, then."

You’re both smiling at each other, a slight bit of tension filling in the sliver of space that still remains between you, until a shriek of laughter from the other room reminds you of where you are. Sevika lets out a sheepish chuckle before clearing her throat and nodding towards the living room. "I’m sure the girls will wanna say bye."

The pair of you make your way to the couch, finding Vi and Caitlyn cuddling on one end while Isha and Powder are sitting on the other. "Hey you guys, sorry to break up the party but I have to head out."

This elicits various groans from everyone, but Powder is the first to respond. "Already? But you just got here."

Chuckling, you tell the girl, "I've been here for over two hours, I have to head to Ekko's now."

"I know,” she whines, “it just feels like you just got here." Powder then stands to give you a hug goodbye, thanking you for all your help that day. Isha's next, sending you puppy eyes that threaten to break your resolve. You almost giggle at the look in her eyes, giving her a heartfelt farewell before turning to Vi and Caitlyn. They both wave before the younger of the two gets up and begins walking over.

“It was good seeing you, me and Caitlyn are driving back to campus tomorrow morning so we probably won’t be home again until the summer.”

“Oh! Right, I forgot you had to go back eventually.”

Vi lets out a chuckle and glances back towards the girls on the couch, smiling fondly.

“Me too. I hate having to leave them.”

She looks back toward you and Sevika, eyes bouncing between the two of you with a look in them that you can’t quite place.

“But they’re in good hands.”

Vi then reaches towards her shirt sleeve, adjusting it as she lets out a small yawn.

“Plus, someone’s gotta be the first one in this family to graduate college, so, y’know.”

Sevika scoffs at that, ruffling Vi’s hair with a smile. “Okay, smartass, I went to trade school.”

“Ugh, Sev, I just finished styling it!” The teenager runs a hand through her locks, trying her best to bring it back to its previous state.

The two of you stand there giggling as Vi fixes her appearance, standing up straight and facing your direction when she’s done. You can see her hands fidgeting out of the corner of your eye, and you brace yourself for what she’s going to say.

“It was really nice to get to know you. And again, I’m so sorry about everything, pretty sure Powder’s never gonna let me live that down,” she sighs.

You crack a smile, patting the girl on the shoulder and looking her in the eye.

“I appreciate that, Vi. It takes a really mature person to admit when they’ve done something wrong, especially when it comes to the people they care about. Hopefully we can get to know each other even better the next time you’re here.”

The teenager sheepishly nods at that and sticks a hand out in your direction. Instantly grasping it, she pulls you into a hug and you let out a noise of surprise before embracing her back. As she pulls away, she stops next to your ear so only you can hear her and whispers, “Take good care of her, okay?”

A shocked look settles on your face but you quickly school it before Sevika can see you, and you give Vi a single, firm nod, stomach twisting at the implication. She shoots you a satisfied grin before turning back to the living room and leaving you and Sevika standing together. The other woman clears her throat and looks in your direction before gesturing to the doorway.

Shooting one final glance towards the girls in the living room, you follow Sevika to the front door, slowly slipping your shoes on as she stands there holding your coat and bag. The look on her face mirrors the one her youngest just gave you, but your other obligations are calling your name. As you grab your jacket, Sevika wordlessly helps you put it on as if this was something you two did often. Once you’re all set, she stands there with her thumbs hooked into her belt loops, looking as adorable as ever. There’s no hesitation this time as you slip your arms around her and settle into her chest, feeling her muscular arms embrace your frame. The two of you stay that way for a long moment, simply enjoying the way the other feels.

Your phone buzzing catches your attention, and when you look down at it, you see that it’s just past the time you said you’d be at Ekko’s.

“Shit, I have to go. I was supposed to be there already.”

Looking at the other woman, you give her a sad smile as she slowly nods, knowing your time together has officially come to an end. “Of course, I hope it goes well.”

“Me too, I really hope both of them get through.” Hoisting your bag higher onto your shoulder, you turn towards the door and turn the knob before opening it. A nervous feeling settles into your stomach as you decide whether or not to turn back around, but before you can talk yourself out of it, you spin towards Sevika and press a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth, surprising you both.

You whisper a “See you Monday” against her lips before scurrying off to your car, tossing your things on the passenger seat and driving off without looking back.

Sevika is still standing in the doorway, stunned as she holds a hand to her mouth. Lost in a daze, she finally comes back down to earth and shuts the door before leaning her forehead against it. If only she had realized what you did faster, she would’ve caught you and gave you a proper sendoff. Sighing, she presses a hand against her chest and feels the way her heart is beating faster than before, like a schoolgirl on the playground. She laughs to herself before walking back to the living room, shaking her head at the fact that you beat her to the punch.

You arrive at Ekko’s house in a trance-like state, stunned at your own actions. Yes, you had openly flirted with Sevika before, but not only was it usually under the influence of alcohol, it was much easier to say all those things when you weren’t feeling her warmth underneath your fingertips like that. Your mouth hasn’t stopped tingling since you left, the sensation of her soft skin replaying over and over in your head. Once you reach the front door and Ekko’s mother lets you in, you snap yourself out of it and tell your mind to focus for the next couple of hours before you can go home and bask in the memory.

Thankfully, the practice and the presentation both go smoothly, leaving you and Ekko both optimistic for the results of their decision. His parents thank you profusely for your time and effort, and you promise to let them know as soon as the board alerts you of their decision. Making your way back to your car, you settle in and take a deep breath before turning the engine on and begin driving home, eager to let yourself fully revel in the echo of this afternoon.

The rest of that weekend passes by without a peep from Sevika and you’re now worried that the kiss upset her. Little do you know that it's been on a 24/7 loop in her head, leaving no room for any other thoughts.

Monday morning comes with a quickness, and you’ve decided to not reach out to the woman for fear of pushing her further away. Sevika’s in a similar boat, the kiss never straying too far from the forefront of her mind. She’s unsure of how calling or texting would come across, so she’s simply waiting until the afternoon when it's time for her to pick up Powder.

Since you're waiting to hear back from the committee, there's no more after school sessions unless she moves on to the next round, so you're surprised when Powder walks into your room after the end of day bell rings. "Hey Teach."

"Powder! I wasn't expecting you today."

She grins, rubbing a hand on the back of her neck and looking sheepish before glancing over her shoulder and closing the door. "Yeah, I actually wanted to talk to you about something. Do you have a few minutes?"

You round your desk and lean back against it with a gentle smile. "Of course. What's up?"

"Well, um..." The girl sighs and closes her eyes. "This is so embarrassing to say."

You wait for her to continue, curiosity now piqued. Her next sentence rushes out all as one word and it takes you a second to decipher what exactly she said.

"I have a crush on Ekko and I wanted to know if he's said anything about me to you."

After the words process in your brain, you have to bite back a smile before you choose how to reply. "Well, Ekko hasn't said anything to me exactly, but I can see the way he acts around you, and I'd bet he feels the same way.”

Powder lights up almost instantly at that, her cheeks tinged pink. "Really?"

"Yeah, really. Actually, when I told him you also got accepted into the second round a month ago, he seemed pretty happy about it."

The girl bites the inside of her cheek at your explanation, and you think it's sweet that she came to you to talk about it. She really trusts you.

You cross your arms and shoot her a smile, tilting your head a bit. "So, are you going to ask him out?"

Her eyes widen and she quickly shakes her head. "No! No way. If he likes me, he has to say something first."

Because Powder had closed the door and you had music playing before she arrived, you don’t hear the two pairs of shoes in the hallway approaching your room. Right as she reaches for the door handle, Sevika hears your voice and something in her gut tells her to wait, so she holds Isha back from the door. She listens as you explain to Powder how having feelings for someone feels, and how to go about approaching them, if they choose to. A small smile graces her lips as you describe exactly how she feels, down to the last detail.

"You know, sometimes both people are waiting for the other to say something, and then no one ever does and they move on without ever knowing. I would say it's better to get rejected than live in that doubt."

Powder looks deep in thought for a second before letting out a sigh. "I guess you're right. I'm just really nervous, what if he doesn't like me, y'know?"

A small smile cracks through, and you lean your head back before looking over at the teenager. "Believe me Powder, I have been there. More times than I'd like to admit, but I always felt better after having a solid answer, even if it wasn't the one I wanted."

“It doesn’t have to be right away, either. You can feel the situation out for a bit before deciding.” You continue, easing the girl’s nerves, and Powder lets out a noise of relief as you talk, a weight slipping off of her shoulders.

She then rubs a hand across her forehead. "Yeah, I think I'll just try and do that. It kind of feels better to have said it out loud, y'know?"

"Yeah, I definitely do. It's like all those thoughts are bouncing around your brain and it's hard to make sense of them until you tell someone else about them, right?"

The girl chuckles and looks down at her feet before looking back at you with a smile. "Yeah, it is. Thanks for this, by the way. I don't think I would've said anything for a long while."

"Anytime, kid. I know plenty about that kind of stuff, the good and the bad, so if you have any more questions, don't hesitate to come ask me, alright?"

She nods along, a look of utter relief on her face now.

"Yeah, I think I will."

At that, the girl finally begins to step away from your desk, clearly feeling more confident now than at the beginning of this talk. At that moment, Sevika decides to make her presence known and knocks on the door before opening it and crossing over the threshold.

"Hi..."

You freeze upon seeing the woman in front of you, immediately thinking about the last time you saw her. Isha rushes in and hugs your legs, causing you to bend down and embrace her. Before you or Sevika can say another word, Powder breaks the silence.

"Hey guys! I was just telling Teach about my...project."

Sevika slightly raises a brow at her daughter, deciding not to give away that she heard a large part of the conversation. "Right."

The woman then looks over at you and a nervous feeling settles in your stomach, not knowing what to expect. You both stand there unmoving, and Powder's eyes flit between the two of you, feeling the shift in the room. Thankfully, Isha lets Sevika know she has to use the bathroom and Powder takes advantage of the opportunity to take her, leaving the pair of you alone.

"Look, about the other day–"

"I meant to call you–"

Both of you begin speaking at the same time, and you gesture for the other to speak first before Sevika insists you go. You take a deep breath and gather your thoughts, still feeling anxious about what might have happened.

"I just wanted to apologize. I don't know what came over me but I shouldn't have just kissed you like that, I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable."

Sevika furrows her brow and looks at you for a moment in disbelief before letting out a soft laugh.

"Uncomfortable is actually the last word I'd use to describe how I feel about that."

You blink a couple of times, thrown off by Sevika's response.

"Well then…what would you say?"

Sevika rubs a hand on her thigh and sits atop one of the tables, avoiding your gaze.

"A bit unexpected," she looks up now to catch your eye, "but definitely something I'd be interested in experiencing a few more times."

Your throat bobs as you register what she's telling you, and suddenly the room feels very warm. "Oh."

She gives you a cheeky smirk and crosses her arms, still leaning against the table. "Yeah, oh is right. That kiss definitely had me thinking about it for a while." Now it's your turn to avoid eye contact, and the both of you sit there in a semi-awkward silence for a few moments. Sevika then finally gets up and walks closer to you, a sly smile on her face.

You can feel your heart beginning to race from the way she’s looking at you, and you let out a breath of air as she leans closer. "I-"

She brings a hand to your hip and you let out a sharp gasp. Sevika grins at the sound, her thumb rubbing a small circle there. "See? You're not the only one who can play dirty."

A familiar voice down the hallway alerts you that your timeframe is running out, but before you can move, Sevika swoops down and presses a firm kiss to your cheek, causing your eyes to flutter shut. She pulls away just in time for the girls to enter the room, stepping back just as the two of you enter their line of sight.

Powder gives the two of you a look, a wary but knowing expression on her face before she turns and walks over to her bag. Sevika catches your eye and winks at you while her daughter's back is turned, a blatantly smug grin on her face. When Powder turns back to face your direction, she grabs Isha's hand and clears her throat, waving to you.

"Thanks for the advice, Teach, I'm definitely gonna apply it to the…experiment.”

You try your best to compose yourself before sending Powder an encouraging smile. "Of course, anytime. Good luck with the presentation." With that, your student shoots you one last nod before she and Isha leave the classroom, Sevika trailing not far behind them. She stops once the girls are outside, turning around and looking over her shoulder at you. "I'm sure I'll see you around."

Shaking your head at her, the woman lets out a small laugh and disappears down the hall. You throw your head back and groan, in disbelief that Sevika managed to turn the tables on you for once.

That week passes by without any more appearances from Sevika as she decided to pick Powder up on time, so all you have to go off of are the occasional voice note or picture of a book she recommends. Friday afternoon, as soon as the final bell rings, so does your phone, and the name on your screen causes your heart to skip a beat.

Pressing the green button, you raise the phone to your ear and answer the call. "Hello?"

"Hi. I called to ask what you were doing tonight." Sevika's low drawl fills your ear and your heart picks up the second you hear it. "The girls wanted to know if you were free for dinner and a movie at the house, it's been a while."

You try to hide the smile in your voice, not wanting to give Sevika the satisfaction, but it seeps through anyway. "Yeah, that sounds nice actually. It'd be nice to get a break from grading for a bit."

Sevika lets out a low hum and you can hear the cheerfulness in her voice.

"I bet. It's homemade pizza and ice cream night, so you're in for a real treat."

You laugh out at the end of that, thinking about just how domestic this situation is becoming between you two, and Sevika continues.

"Come over around 6, okay?"

"Okay, see you then. Bye."

"Bye, miss."

Looking at the clock on your laptop, you see that you have a couple of hours to finish your work before it would be time to head home and drop your stuff off. The time flies by and before you know it, you're in your car headed over. It feels juvenile, but the entire drive over your mind is playing out every possible scenario, trying to prepare for any situation that could arise. When you pull up to the familiar house and take in the sight of a light on in through the living room window, you can't help the giddy feeling that swells up in your chest as you get out and walk up to the door.

The sound of the doorbell rings throughout the house and you hear the padding of feet approaching the door. Powder opens it with a wide grin on her face, the excited teen bouncing from side to side in her pajamas. "Hi Teach, come in."

Entering the house, you're immediately greeted by a wonderful smell coming from the kitchen, and you notice how the entire house is spotless as you slip off your shoes. Powder shuts the door with a click and the two of you head towards the back of the house.

You see Sevika standing at the stove wearing her signature apron over a tight t-shirt and grey sweats that hang low on her hips. She has a look of concentration on her face as she inspects a tray of pizza she just pulled from the oven. Turning around to look over her shoulder, Sevika grows a smile at the sight of you. "You made it."

"Barely," you say playfully as you walk up behind her. "Traffic was a nightmare on the way over." Sevika gives a small hum of acknowledgement, eyes running over you quickly, taking in your outfit before she places the pizza back on the rack.

"You look nice." She lets her gaze linger on your form, and it suddenly feels much hotter in the small kitchen. Clearing your throat, you give your attention to the tray of food instead. "Thanks, I didn't realize everyone else would be so casual."

Sevika actually giggles at that. "Yeah, I guess I forgot to mention the dress code."

You can't help but smile at the sound of her laugh, and you take a moment to enjoy the rare reaction. "If I had known, I would have come in sweatpants and a stained t-shirt like a reasonable person."

Sevika lets out another soft laugh and turns around. She leans her hip back against the counter, giving you a full view of her casual outfit and the way it hangs off of her body.

A ding from the oven rings out right then, announcing that dinner is ready, and the two girls stroll into the kitchen with wide grins on their faces, hungry and ready to eat. Sevika starts moving the pans to the table and you begin grabbing plates and glasses for everyone. Isha and Powder sit down, conversating amongst themselves before the two of you join them.

The entire time, Sevika steals glances in your direction, taking in every aspect of you while making sure everyone has pizza on their plate. You glance up at her, catching her in the act halfway through serving Isha and she shakes her head before looking away, ignoring your knowing smile.

Once dinner is over, Sevika makes quick work of clearing the table, sending the girls to the living room to pick a movie. When you see her grabbing multiple bowls from the pantry, you hurry over to help her before she drops something.

"You really didn't have to–" Sevika looks up, seeing you grab the rest of the dishes from her, and shoots you a look of mock frustration. "Oh whatever, I'm not going to turn down the help."

You laugh and give her a sly smile. "I thought you enjoyed being the tough one?"

Sevika snorts at that, nodding her head towards the fridge. “Gonna grab the ice cream.”

Once she pulls the freezer door open, she continues on with her previous thought. "I never said I had a problem receiving help, I just don't like to ask for it."

Surprised at the slip of information, you simply hum and hand her bowl after bowl to scoop the dessert into, conversation lulling into a comfortable silence. When the final bowl of ice cream is filled, Sevika moves to put the container back in the fridge and you both carry the food over to the girls, who are sitting together on the floor arguing about what to put on. Setting the dessert down on the coffee table, Sevika clears her throat to grab their attention, and the girls look up at you two.

"Alright, so what are we watching?"

"I wanna watch an action movie." Powder states, leaning back against the couch.

Isha shakes her head firmly and signs to her mom I want to watch a cartoon.

Sevika looks amused, resting her weight against the wall and folding her arms.

"Why don't we watch a cartoon first?"

Powder begins to protest before Sevika signs behind Isha's back so the girl can't hear her. Just wait until she falls asleep and then put on the other movie.

The older girl lets out an Ohh, okay before turning back to the TV and scrolling through the cartoon options as you and Sevika take your places on the couch. Once she lands on something Isha agrees to, the movie begins playing and you settle into your seat, getting comfortable when you feel warmth pressed into you.

​​Sevika is sitting right next to you, her knee pressed against yours as her body relaxes. She's doing her best to focus on the screen but finds herself drifting closer and closer towards you. The warm weight of her hand suddenly landing on your knee startles you for a second, but you quickly relax into it, letting her thumb run over it in small circles. Isha sits on the floor, curled up onto a pillow as she begins to doze off with the sound of the TV playing softy now.

Right on cue, not even fifteen minutes into the movie, Isha's soft snores can be heard over the movie and Sevika pauses it before scooping the little girl up in her arms and carrying her to her room. When she returns, Powder's already switched it to her choice and is glued to the screen, much to Sevika's amusement.

As she sits back down, Sevika notices you’re scrolling on your phone and right when she opens her mouth to jokingly tell you no phones during the movie, you turn towards her with a nervous look on your face.

“Um, they emailed me with the results.”

Suddenly, Powder whips around with a frantic look on her face.

“What did they say?”

Looking between her and Sevika, you gulp lightly before shaking your head.

“I haven’t opened it yet, we should all look together.”

Sevika’s jaw clenches as she takes a deep breath. “Yeah, okay.”

She gestures for you to move closer before you hand the phone to Powder, understanding this is her moment. On your other side, the girl in question scoots closer to you as she taps on the email, preparing for the answer that can potentially make or break her future. She skims through it, reading the message aloud before the phone slips from her hand and she cradles her head in her hands.

Your heart is in your throat at her reaction and Sevika speaks up with nerves lacing her throat.

"Well what did they say?!"

Sevika reaches for your fallen phone, finding it and raising the screen to her face right as Powder speaks up.

"I...I got in."

Letting out a shaky sigh of relief, Sevika leans her head back against the wall and you look over at the girl next to you to find that she's crying. Before you can say anything or even move, Powder’s throwing herself at you in a hug, squeezing tightly as she buries her head into your shoulder. You can barely make out the words she speaks through her tears, but you feel her grip tighten with the next few words. “Thank you. So much.”

Suddenly, you feel two strong arms envelop you both as Sevika pulls the both of you into a tight hug, a rush of emotions coursing through all of your veins. You hold onto Powder, both of you crying as Sevika takes a deep breath, attempting to calm herself down. Eventually, you all pull away, Powder letting out a shaky laugh before wiping at her face. "Sorry, I just...man, I didn't expect to get this emotional about it."

Sevika pats the girl on the shoulder, a warm but watery smile on her face. “Don’t apologize, this is a huge deal, you have the right to react however you want.”

A fresh set of tears appear in Powder's eyes as she collapses into her mom's arms, the two of them embracing as you watch with a heart full of emotion, wiping the tears from your eyes. After a minute, the teenager pulls away with a start before jumping up from the couch and snatching her phone from the floor.

"I have to go call Vi!" She then sprints in the direction of her room, leaving the two of you behind.

Before Sevika can say anything to you, you're scrambling for your phone until Sevika hands it to you with a questioning look.

"Ekko, I have to see if he made it through."

Scanning the email for names, your chest swells as you read his name alongside Powder's, a choked sob escaping your throat as you drop your face into your hands, exhaling shakily.

"He got in."

Sevika's heart constricts from the sound of joy and relief in your voice and without hesitation, she pulls you toward her, wrapping her arms securely around your body. A soft chuckle leaves her mouth as she holds you tightly, her head coming to rest against your shoulder, taking in the moment of triumph.

"Oh thank goodness."

Before she realizes what's happening, you're cradling her face with both hands and pulling her into a kiss, tasting salt from the tears falling down your face. As soon as your lips come in contact with hers, Sevika melts against you, hands wrapping themselves around your waist and pulling your bodies flush together. She’s unable to describe the feeling in her chest, a combination of relief and excitement bubbling up with something else.

As soon as the kiss starts, it ends with a gasp and wide eyes as you pull away, a shaky hand covering your mouth.

"Sevika, I am so sorry–"

"Stop apologizing."

She cuts you off before pulling you back in, claiming your mouth in a bruising kiss, the floodgates of her emotions finally bursting open and leaving her inhibitions behind. You’re immediately lost in the kiss, unable to stop yourself from responding with just as much fervour. The hand on your waist squeezes you close, and she pushes against your lower back, wanting to press into you that much more. Only once a soft moan slips out from between the pair of you do you separate, matching dazed expressions on both of your faces.

You’re both trying to regain your footing, chests rising and falling with heavy breaths. Sevika looks down at your lips, the swollen shape of them a result of her own doing. Her hands slide from the small of your back to your hips, holding you tightly in place. She looks at you for a moment, wide eyed, until a smirk worms its way across her face, and then she can't help the laugh that bubbles up.

The sound rings throughout the room and you can't help but laugh alongside her, completely bewildered by the fact that you're sitting here with this woman, in this position. You can feel her eyes roaming your features at the same time she begins to run a hand up and down your back, and you can't help but lean into the touch.

"I've wanted to do that for a bit now," she whispers into the space between you.

Your heart flutters and you gently nod, bringing a hand up to run it over her jaw.

"Me too."

Sevika captures your hand in hers, bringing it to her mouth to press a kiss against your knuckles. She's openly staring at you now, completely entranced, and you can't help the soft inhale from the way her gaze is making you feel.

She takes her time tracing the lines of your palm with the gentle pad of her thumb, her other hand trailing across the soft fabric of your shirt, coming down to rest on your thigh. Her eyes dart between both of your hands, and she suddenly speaks up, eyes flicking up to yours with a forced smile as she does so. “This...we can continue this after tonight, right? You're not gonna wake up tomorrow and decide you're over it?" Over me.

Shaking your head with a frown, you can see the hurt flash through her eyes before you cradle a scarred cheek in your palm, seeing right through the mask she tries to slip back on.

“Of course not.”

A choked laugh slips from her lips and she tries to lighten the mood with a joke.

"Good, cause that would be pretty embarrassing, to be honest."

You don't like how she tries to brush off her vulnerability so easily, but she cradles you in her arms before you can protest, feeling a soft kiss pressed against your forehead. The two of you sit like that for a while longer, stealing kisses every now and then. Finding a good moment to bring up what's on your mind, you break the silence with a gentle tone.

"Sevika."

"Hm?"

"Can you look at me really quick?"

The woman tenses up before releasing you from her hold and shifting to face you. Her hands are fidgeting in her lap and you grab them softly, causing her to make eye contact with you.

"I don't think we should try to figure us out or define it right now."

A wounded look briefly crosses her features but you squeeze her hands to keep her from moving away.

"But...that doesn't mean that I don't plan on sticking around." You exhale deeply before running a thumb over her knuckles in a soothing manner.

"With the finals now coming up, all of my extra time and energy is going to be focused on that, and it wouldn't be fair to you or me to try to add this dynamic in the mix."

Her head drops and you instantly cup her chin to pick it back up and look into her eyes.

"But once it's over, you will have my full attention, I promise you."

Thinking about your statement for a second, you quickly correct yourself. "Well, as much as I can give you while still being there for my students, but you know what I mean."

That finally pulls a genuine smile from her, and she straightens up before cradling the back of your neck with a firm hand, sparkling eyes bouncing between your own.

"Sorry for all the melodrama, I just..." she exhales deeply, "Fuck, I was not expecting you at all."

"I know exactly what you mean."

Tapping the screen of your phone and seeing the time, you sigh and begin moving away from Sevika, knowing you should head home before you take this any further. Her jaw clenches but she lets you go anyway, watching you stand up and begin searching for your belongings while she watches. When everything is in order, you approach her and she rises to meet you, expression slightly guarded despite her best efforts.

"Walk me out?"

Sevika nods and does her best to compose herself. Her heart rate is elevated, but she can't find it in herself to be upset with you. You want to be sure of this when the time comes, and she understands that more than anyone. Following behind you, she keeps her hands in her pockets, shoulders slightly slumped. Once your shoes and coat are on, you face Sevika again with a lopsided smile, trying to cover up the sadness you feel at having to leave.

"See you next week?"

Sevika nods again, her jaw twitching as she stuffs down the anxious feeling settling in her chest.

"Yeah, okay."

After giving her a sympathetic look, and before you can think twice, your hands are on her cheeks and you're pulling her face to yours. Sevika lets out a quiet gasp, but she doesn't hesitate to lean into the kiss, her body coming to envelop you as if to keep you there. When you finally part, the both of you are panting, and you take a moment to rest your forehead against hers.

"I have to go."

"Uh huh, you said that already."

Sevika's voice is a bit hoarse, but she does her best to keep composure, not wanting to lose control of her emotions again. She moves away and holds the front door open for you, the brisk night air rushing in. You give her a final glance, and she tries to memorize the way you look, wanting to engrave this moment in her memory. But before you can fully cross the threshold, Sevika catches you by the wrist, pulling you back to face her.

"Hey."

The serious expression on her face catches you off guard, and you cock your head to the side with curiosity. She takes a step forward, crowding you against the cool door frame, and she keeps your gaze locked with her own. One of her hands rests on the wood behind you, trapping you there with her, and she takes the opportunity to lean down and bury her face into the crook of your neck. Sevika takes a deep breath and leaves a kiss over your pulse point, the fluttering of your heart causing her to smirk against your skin.

"I know you have to leave but...I just needed to do that."

After another moment, she lifts her head back up to look into your eyes again, and you can see the emotions shining through her gaze.

"Be careful driving home, okay?"

Sevika lets the hand trapping you drop and places it over your lower back, keeping you pressed between her and the wall as she leans in and presses a light kiss to your forehead. You don't say anything, not trusting yourself to speak, and just nod in agreement, fighting the urge to stay right there with her. Sevika sighs before stepping back, her hand leaving your body and falling to her side, empty.

With a shaky inhale, you step off the front porch and look back at her with a small smile before getting into your car and pulling away. Sevika stands there for a moment longer, listening to the sound of the engine fade into the night before closing the door and turning around to rest her back against it, sinking to the floor.

She is so completely fucked.

taglist: @daughterofthemoons-stuff @vii-v @runawaybaby3 @ferxanda @sevikas-whore @vikashoneybee @sleepingwasp @savedforlaterr @lia-winther @bebadoobie @nymanas @dyketoast

[hed184]

What i found interesting about Remmick is that he's the personification of the “all hope is lost" mentality. The other characters while also had known prejudice all their lives like him, share two things that Remmick lacks: a community (what he desperately seeks) and their mortality which encourage them to endeavor for a better future.

Remmick was born during the colonisation of Ireland which started from the 12th century when they began to be slowly deprived of their lands, language, celtic religion and culture by the British. It would last nearly 800 years until the independance triggered by the breaking point of the Great Famine where a lot of Irish died or were forced to set abroad to America. Therefore Remmick doesn't see the value of living because his suffering never ended. His immortality never granted him the possibility to reach a better future but to be trapped alone in an endless world of pain and injustice. He probably can't conceive that lreland's independance 11 years prior will last or that the Civil rights movement will end the segregation in a few decades. He only valued past and want to revive it and freeze it through Sammie's mystical music. If he met 300+ years old black and native fellow vampires that lived through slavery and American colonisation, the three of them would probably bear the same pessimistic views of the future.

Him being on his own with no other lrish vampires while trying to integrate the native and black communities subtly showed he had probably tried to integrate his own Irish community in America and failed as well. From an 800+ years old vampire perspective, there is no future to fight for, and the only way to be free from this world is to free litteraly yourself from mortality. A choice that Mary and Stack ultimately embrace while Annie, Smoke and Sammie refuse.

It's also notable that most of the characters are Christians or had biblical names (Mary, Sammie being Samuel, Smoke and Stack's real names are Elijah and Elias, Grace wears a cross around her neck) with the movie being called Sinners and Sammy's father being a puritan pastor. Remmick in comparaison is the reminiscent of Lucifer. He's a seductive manipulator and was cast away to Hell (the darkness of the night) for his rebellion against the rule of God (his rejection of mortality). As we later see, Remmick despised Christianity that was forced on him, he saw it as an invader force (parallel to vampirism) that bounds people's mind to servitude (the notion of sin, of repentance, of damnation) so he's convinced that his great age and being born in a still Christianity-free kingdom makes him know better. From his biased view, the other characters are blind to their servitude and the fatality of their existence because they were deprived of their past and conditionned by this foreign religion. That's why he dismissed the rejection of his proposal by others because for him, they can't refuse it from their own free will because they're too conditionned to fear damnation and Hell to have any. His mantra is litteraly "Prepare yourself to be rescued. Please do not resist."

That's the essence of his duality with Sammie. They are both musicans with supernatural abilities that allow them to commune with people - both leading the two dance scenes of the movie - and they are both deemed "sinners" for that but Remmick is the one who lost his humanity and faith in future while Sammie never give up his dream and in the end, his confrontation with his father which parallels his last confrontation with Remmick allows him to finally break free and go live his life. Sammie refuses both the Devil's (Remmick) false freedom and God's (his father) life of traditionnal virtues and attonement to follow his own path.

[the-cosmic-cauldron]

Natal Astrology: Baby-Fever Placements “ I Want To Have A Baby”

There are moments in life when you find yourself wondering—an endless stream of possibilities flows through your imagination. Yet still, you’re pulled and tugged back down to reality. You dream of nurturance, self-adoration, love, and care. But within your vessel, you long to give all of it to someone else.

In a world full of people seemingly undeserving of such high-quality love, you often find yourself yearning for nothing more than a precious, beautiful baby—someone to receive the depths of your tenderness and devotion.

This feeling can arise early, when you’re just a child and someone asks, “What do you want to be when you grow up? ”It might swell within you when you’re falling in love with someone you can’t imagine life without. Or it may come in those aching moments of loneliness, when you’re brimming with love that has nowhere to go.

Whenever it arrives, it hits like an ocean wave—consuming and impossible to ignore. The thought fixates. It lingers. Soon enough, you’re envisioning parenthood: motherhood, fatherhood, the sacred act of caregiving.

This yearning returns to you, again and again throughout your life, as a reminder: your soul wasn’t sent here simply to exist, but to give, to nurture, and to love. And yet, all the mirrors around you often appear foggy, distorted, or unworthy of reflection. So the feeling creeps in—an inkling, an itch, a longing—for a child.

In this post, we’ll explore the astrological placements that evoke this deep, soul-stirring desire to become a parent.

Moon in the 5th House

When the Moon is in the 5th house of your natal chart, it can stir a strong desire for children, especially when you are around mothers, families, or children. You may feel a pull towards parenthood when surrounded by others experiencing joy and emotional connection, such as watching a show where a mother is giving birth or seeing someone pregnant. The Moon in the 5th house makes baby fever come in waves, particularly when you feel emotionally touched or excited. While this doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll have a child right away, the yearning for a child is often present. For those with this placement, falling in love often triggers thoughts of starting a family, and they may even envision having a baby with their partner.

Venus in the 5th House

People with Venus in the 5th house are true romantics who love falling in love and enjoy the imagery associated with it. They are drawn to romance novels, films, and videos of couples falling in love. This placement makes them value beauty and aesthetics in relationships, often preferring good-looking partners and showcasing their relationship to the world. Once they enter a relationship, they quickly begin imagining children, often idealizing the image of a perfect family. The desire to have children may arise from a vision of family life that feels like an extension of their romantic ideals. They might even have specific gender preferences or physical traits they hope their child will inherit. The need for a family is closely tied to their desire for a picture-perfect love life, and they may seek to document every milestone with their children, sharing it with the world.

Cancer Stellium

Cancer represents the archetype of the mother, so having a Cancer stellium creates a deep, intrinsic calling toward motherhood and nurturing. From a young age, individuals with this placement often feel a natural inclination to care for others—whether it’s taking care of siblings, friends, or pets. This nurturing energy leads them to crave parenthood as they get older, especially when they find stability and security in a relationship. Cancer energy desires to nourish love through the creation of a family. Those with a Cancer stellium are often deeply connected to the idea of having children, particularly when positively aspected. Pregnancy and motherhood are often viewed as joyful and fulfilling, and despite any resistance, they may find themselves starting a family.

Jupiter in the 5th House

Jupiter in the 5th house amplifies the desire for growth and expansion, particularly in areas related to creativity, children, and family. These individuals are constantly inspired and find themselves excited by the idea of having children. Seeing a beautiful family, being around friends with children, or even seeing baby pictures can trigger strong baby fever. People with this placement often want a big family, seeing children as a source of abundance and joy. They enjoy being actively involved in their children’s lives and view parenthood as a mark of success. These individuals are highly fertile, both creatively and in their desire to have children, often desiring more once they begin having kids.

Mars in the 5th House

Mars in the 5th house is a complex placement that ties sexual energy and impulsivity to the desire for children. When individuals with this placement feel intense attraction or sexual chemistry with a partner, the desire to have a baby can feel almost urgent and overwhelming. The more intense the attraction, the more they crave the idea of having a baby with that person. This can be a possessive and impulsive energy, where the urge to “mark one’s territory” can manifest as a desire to trap a partner with a child. For these individuals, baby fever often arises in moments of heightened intimacy, driven by both sexual and emotional urges.

Ceres in the 4th House

Ceres—the asteroid of nurturance—meets the 4th house, the sacred domain of home, family, and roots. This alignment stirs something ancient and tender within the soul: a deep longing for parenthood. A fascination with the process of caring for life. The softness of a baby’s skin, the sound of small feet on wooden floors, the comfort of being a caregiver. It brings an overflowing wellspring of energy and vitality into the home. Not just to build it—but to bless it. To paint the walls with intention, to choose colors that feel like warmth, to soften the textures of furniture, to fill the space with beauty, soul, and sanctuary. This placement inspires the creation of a haven—a space where love is both visible and tangible. A home designed for spirits to enter and feel safe. Where laughter bounces off the walls, and children run free—wild-eyed, curious, and beloved. You feel most alive, most yourself, when surrounded by warmth, by family, by presence. When small hands reach for yours. When eyes—wide, innocent, and trusting—look up at you. It brings a wave of love straight to the heart, a knowing that you were made to nurture. Ceres in the 4th house is a sacred call. It speaks of someone who longs not only to parent, but to provide a space of deep emotional nourishment—to grow roots that hold, and to be the safe place others come home to.

North Node in the 4th House

Here, a person’s divine spiritual purpose leads them back to the hearth—the heart of the home. Roots matter deeply. There’s a sacred calling to lay down the brick and mortar of a home not just physically, but spiritually—to build a sanctuary, to have it blessed by the Divine, to let God, Spirit, or sacred guidance dwell within its walls. This is not merely a house—it’s a temple. A space where faith breathes, where spirituality is lived, where traditions are reimagined and reborn. It may not be a family built by blood, but one divinely chosen—a soul-tribe drawn together by fate and purpose. Those with this placement long for the day they can gather their tribe—to unite their life, their spirituality, their love—all under one roof. It is then they feel they’ve fulfilled their mission: that they’ve outlived the pain, that they’ve transcended their past, that they’ve made sacred vows with the Divine, and in doing so, they’ve created a new lineage—a powerful, soulful family born of intention and grace.

North Node in the 5th House

These souls are born to play, to love, to create. They burst into life like flames—radiant, expressive, impossible to ignore. Their path is not about rigidity, but about infusing life with imagination. They are creators—not just of art, but of legacy. They weave families born of passion, purpose, and poetry. Here, artistry and divinity collide: painters, poets, musicians, dreamers. Their very lives become a canvas. They channel the sacred through song, story, and spirit. This is not ordinary lineage. This is lineage empowered by creative fire. Each brushstroke, each verse, each kiss builds something lasting, something holy. They don’t just long for a family. They long to create one—a family unlike the one they came from, a family that uplifts, celebrates, and inspires. A family where love births art, and art births freedom.

Jupiter Conjunct Moon

There is always an overflow when Jupiter arrives—an abundance that spills into every crevice of life. And when it meets the Moon—the mother, the goddess, the belly, the womb—fertility dances with expansion. This union births a flood of feeling: a longing for large families, for gatherings, for communion. For the warmth of holidays, for simple dinners where everyone feels held. It creates the quintessential nurturer—the mother, the father, the ones who pour endlessly into their family, who sacrifice, who teach, who radiate wisdom in the home like light from a sacred lamp. These are the people who glow stronger during pregnancy, whose aura brightens as life grows within them. They are the true parents—not just in title, but in spirit. They long for the day their children line up against the wall, laughter echoing through hallways, and they see not just a family—but a circle of souls, a bonded realm of love, friendship blooming among siblings, memories stitched together like a sacred quilt. Bound by love. Bound by the fragrance of childhood. Bound by the knowing that they were chosen to birth not just children—but a home, a legacy, a love that lives on.

Saturn-Moon

The womb. The birthplace. The uterus. The vessel that holds. The space that comforts. The cradle that nurtures—now meets Saturn: hard work. Strict discipline. Structure. Control. Legacy. These are not the people who scream, “I want a baby.” They don’t appear eager for parenthood on the surface. Yet deep within, something stirs—a quiet, sacred responsibility, a soul-deep knowing that parenthood is not just desire, but duty. They don’t approach parenting emotionally. They approach it tangibly. Brick by brick. Plan by plan. They build legacies out of their children. Homes, schools, bank accounts, buildings—concrete structures for their children to visit, to inherit, to live in, to grow from, to succeed through. These are the parents who pour in quietly, who sacrifice consistently. They are the composed. The grounded. The reliable. The ones who hold space and hold lineages. They may not say, “I want a baby,” but they whisper it through action. In their craving for success. In the way they study their emotions without drowning in them. In how they feel responsibly, without chaos. In how they carefully assess every potential partner, measuring them against the weight of legacy. They are stirred by the thought of parenthood, not as sentiment, but as structure—a foundation laid deep within the earth, so that the name, the love, and the purpose may live on.

Taurus Stellium

At first glance, you might be fooled into thinking Taurus is consumed by physical pleasure—greedy in their innocence, too enamored with their own senses to be bothered by the chaos or noise of children. But Taurus is a nurturer, too. A giver by nature. They give with quiet devotion. They spoil children—sometimes rotten—but they delight in it. They melt when the child smiles. They adore baking for them, cooking warm meals that feel like home, carefully arranging the house with beauty in mind—for the child. Birthday parties and holidays bring them to life. They revel in the magic, the tiny hands unwrapping gifts, the scent of cinnamon rolls floating from the oven, the sparkle of lights against soft winter windows. Beneath the societal conditioning, beneath the layers of material pursuit, these are people who long for parenthood. They long for tradition—a picture of life that feels like arrival: a partner by their side, children running down the hallway, a beautiful home, a gathering space filled with laughter and food, a tree glowing with presents, and love rising like bread in a warm oven. They long for something divinely traditional, something that whispers, “You made it. You’re worth it. You belong here.” A purpose that lives in the rhythm of family, in the pleasure of giving, and in the peace of building a life that’s both beautiful and real.

Venus Conjunct Moon

This aspect brings a deep longing for family, especially when you’re romantically in love. You may yearn to create a home together, and “baby fever” can emerge strongly—particularly when you’re around mothers or in beautiful, child-centered environments. Attending children’s birthday parties, weddings, or simply driving past a park can stir powerful desires for motherhood. There’s also a yearning to draw your romantic partner closer through the act of building a family.

Leo Rising

Leo risings care deeply about family and thrive in environments filled with love and togetherness. They’re naturally drawn to children, finding joy and playfulness in their presence. Being around children brings out their inner child, which in turn fuels a longing for their own. Their romantic and affectionate nature makes them yearn for both partnership and parenthood, especially when they fall in love.

Cancer in the 6th House

With Cancer in the sixth house, there’s often a sense of responsibility toward caregiving from an early age. These individuals may have cared for siblings, pets, or others early in life, developing a strong nurturing instinct. They tend to feel a quiet obligation to one day raise a family of their own. Even if they delay parenthood to focus on career and stability, the desire to have children surfaces strongly once they feel secure in life.

7th House Stellium

People with a stellium in the 7th house are deeply invested in partnership, love, and belonging. This naturally extends to a desire for family. Baby fever often strikes after they fall in love or form a deep connection. Even if they don’t feel it while single, the idea of raising a child with someone they love is deeply appealing. These individuals tend to have a traditional or idealistic vision of family life and often imagine having children from a young age.

Leo Stellium

A Leo stellium intensifies the desire for a big, beautiful, and joy-filled family. These individuals crave family and feel proud to be part of one. They often want many children and envision a life surrounded by love, laughter, and legacy. They can be selective about who they settle down with, as they want their future family to be strong, successful, and full of heart. Baby fever tends to come frequently and powerfully.

Mercury in the 5th House

Mercury here makes the mind fertile with thoughts of children and creativity. From a young age, these individuals are drawn to the idea of parenthood. They love being around children and often find themselves thinking about their future family. Baby fever is common, as the idea of raising children blends naturally with their love for imagination, communication, and romantic daydreams.

Sun–Moon

Those with harmonious Sun–Moon aspects often seek emotional and spiritual wholeness in partnership. There’s a strong drive to find “the one,” and with it, a vision of building a family together. When they’re in love, baby fever often blooms as part of a desire to express their union in the form of a child. Even when single, thoughts of romance and parenting can stir deep longing.

Cancer Rising

Often mistaken for parents even when they’re not, Cancer risings exude warmth and nurturing energy. They are natural caretakers who are deeply drawn to babies and children. Once they have their own space or begin imagining life with a partner, baby fever tends to arise. Their calm, kind demeanor and innate desire to nurture make them deeply receptive to the idea of motherhood.

[cobbled-peach]

˗ˏˋ જ⁀➴ long, lonely time

Where Spencer Reid isn't built for dancing, or waiting. But he does both for you

cw: BAU fem!reader. Minor injury (bruises). Fluff!!!!! Reader wears a dress. Implied intimacy. a/n: I was listening to unchained melody and was possessed to write this. enjoy!! w/c: 2.5k

Spencer Reid has never been a good dancer.

No coordination with his hands, even less with his feet. Stiff shoulders, uncertain rhythm, a mind that’s too busy analyzing the beat instead of feeling it. It’s a mystery he never cracked. The thought of surrendering himself to the music, of moving fluidly and letting go, is all too much for him. And yet, tonight, in the midst of all the chaos, all the noise, all the strangers surrounding him, dancing is the one thing Spencer wants to do more than anything.

It's the night of the Federal Service Recognition Ball – a formal event hosted by the FBI in collaboration with other federal agencies. An initiative to celebrate interagency success, reinforce cooperation, show gratitude for the men and women serving the country. For Spencer, it’s a reminder of everything that’s wrong.

It’s too much. Music a few decibels too loud, too formal, too much celebration. Too many people pretend that everything is okay when so much of it isn’t.

The opening address is delivered by the FBI’s Deputy Director. Stiff. Over-rehearsed. Full of words that are meant to inspire but somehow lack the weight they should carry. He talks about force collaborations, cross-agency victories. And the fallen – a list that seems endless, punctuated by hushed, respectful murmurs. He flinches at least three times, worried that your name will be next on the list, shrinking back from the dry cadence of names and memorials.

Spencer barely touches his dinner. Prods at the food like it personally offended him.

To his left, Rossi entertains the table with stories from his books, his charisma effortlessly charming. To Spencer’s right, a stiff CIA liaison who makes no move to engage with him, not even offering a smile at Spencer’s attempt at humor. Best to remain silent instead.

And maybe it’s better that way. The conversation doesn’t matter, not really. What does matter is the fact that his mind is miles away and has been for weeks.

He can’t stop thinking about you, and how much easier things would be if you were beside him in this sea of suits and ballgowns. The thought of you brings both the warmth of love and the sharp sting of absence.

It started three months ago, back in the briefing room.

The lights were too bright, too cold, too clinical. The team sat in a dull silence, folders spread across the table like autopsy reports. Strauss was speaking in a tone that was too detached for the situation, detailing the operation. The target, the organization, the possible fallout. All routine.

Then, your name. The word undercover. The air shifted and became tight, heavy with implication.

Spencer tensed beside you. His back went rigid. His fingers gripped the pen in his hand so tightly that his knuckles turned white. He didn’t speak. He couldn’t. It wasn’t his place to.

Hotch had nodded. Brief hesitation, speaking with quiet reluctance. ‘I agree. You’re the best fit for this. It requires someone with your psychological profile. Someone who can stay grounded in a constructed identify and play the part without losing themselves.’

Spencer heard the catch of your breath.

‘When do I leave?’ you asked, your voice steady, but laced with something that Spencer couldn’t place.

‘Tomorrow morning,’ Strauss replied.

Spencer’s pen snapped. No one said anything about it, the room engulfed in silence with a tension that was palpable.

Later, back in your apartment, the silence felt suffocating. It was a silence that screamed, said everything at once and nothing at all.

The TV showed a muted black-and-white film neither of you were watching. You curled into his side on the couch as he absentmindedly traced circles on your back, tracking the rise and fall of your breathing.

‘I should say something smart right now,’ he had whispered, his voice hoarse, like it hadn’t been used in hours.

You hummed quietly, lost in your own spiraling thoughts.

‘I’m trying really hard not to be selfish,’ he added after a moment, his voice barely a whisper, accompanied by a smile that didn’t even try to reach his eyes.

‘You’re not.’

‘I am,’ he admitted. ‘I told you to say no. I want you to stay. Be safe. Be mine.’

‘I am yours.’ You had shifted slightly, lifting your hand to lace your fingers through his. ‘But this is what the case calls for, what I trained for, Spence. You know that.’

He nodded, eyes closed, nose brushing against your hair. ‘I know.’

‘I’ll come back,’ you had promised, your voice soft but firm.

‘I’ll count the hours.’

The two of you had gone to bed then. Not with the urgency of fear, but the aching tenderness of people trying to remember every detail. The curve of your shoulder, the taste of your skin, the way you whispered his name like a promise. He tucked it all away in his mind, like he was preserving the memory for safekeeping.

And just before sleep claimed you, he had pressed a kiss to your forehead. Lingering. Like it needed to last until the day you came home.

Two weeks before the ball, Spencer found himself staring at his phone for far longer than was acceptable. A text message. Typed and deleted. Typed again, partially deleted. He hesitated. Finally, with a soft exhale, he pressed send.

Just in case this reaches you: the Recognition Ball is in a couple of weeks. I’m going. You’d hate it. Too much protocol and overexaggerated glamour. But I’m still asking you to come with me. You can even steal my dessert, if you want. I’d just be grateful to see you. That’s all. I miss you more than I can explain. Please come home to me, when you can.

He hadn’t expected a reply. And he didn’t get one. But it felt right to send it.

And now here he is, standing at the edge of the ballroom, nursing a glass of sparkling water that has long since gone warm, watching as couples dance across the polished marble floor. A celebration of heroes, attended by people who carried ghosts.

Someone from Interpol asks if he wants to dance. He smiles politely, shakes his head. A gentle decline.

JJ gives him a soft squeeze on the arm as she passes, and Morgan offers a quiet nod from the bar, lifting his glass in solidarity. Hotch meets his eye from across the room with an unspoken understanding.

Kindness, but not enough. Not when he was still reeling from the emptiness of your absence.

‘Can’t imagine this is your idea of a good time,’ came a voice from behind him, warm and measured.

Spencer turns, and it’s Blake. Champagne glass in her hand, dressed in slate-gray, expression as calm as ever. No smile, but an undeniable softness in her eyes.

He exhales, gaze dropping to his untouched glass. ‘Not exactly.’

Blake steps beside him, and together they watch the dancers glide across the room.

‘I always thought the forced elegance of these events was a little exhausting,’ Blake commented, her voice low like they were sharing a secret. ‘And dishonest. Like the world has paused for us, when it really hasn’t.’

‘She would’ve thought the same.’ Blake doesn’t need to ask who he’s referring to. ‘She’s still out there,’ he mutters next, voice barely more than a rasp, jaw tight. ‘In the field. I don’t know where. I don’t even know if she’s safe. And… people are celebrating like she isn’t out there right now, doing something dangerous.’

‘She’s okay,’ Blake says, quiet but firm, her hand gently finding his way onto his arm in a warm and steady touch. ‘Don’t grieve her before you have to, Spencer. There’s a difference between loss and simply waiting.’

‘I’m still waiting,’ he affirmed. ‘I’ll always be waiting.’

‘Good,’ she nods. ‘Just don’t forget to live while you do.’

The music shifts. A slow tune, the crackle of old vinyl piped through expensive speakers. A familiar sound, almost like an intrusion. Spencer freezes, heart suddenly stuttering in his chest. Painful. Achey.

The song. Your song.

His grip on the glass falters, and he sets it done carefully, hands trembling. How many times had he danced with you to this song? It wasn’t something he’d expected to hear tonight, and not in a room full of strangers, but there it was, drifting through the air like a haunting whisper. A song reserved for the two of you, now spent alone, shared by couples who aren’t you and him.

Oh, my love, my darling, I’ve hungered for your touch…

He turns to Blake, but she’s already gone. He doesn’t remember her walking away. The pain sets in deeper, then. Having to manage this alone. The memory hits him with more force than he’s capable of managing.

You, barefoot in the kitchen, spinning in circles with flour on your cheek. A record player humming, fuzzy but comforting. Him, burning pancakes, trying to lecture you on the brand of maple syrup you’d bought.

‘Real maple syrup would have a lower glycemic index than this. This is—’

‘Spence, baby,’ you interrupted him with a laugh. ‘Tell me later. Just dance with me.’

He did. Relented and stepped away from the ruined pancakes. You swayed together, laughed together. He felt your fingers in his hair, your nose against his neck and your breath against his collarbone.

He can almost feel that breath now.

A long, lonely time…

His chest tightens, his pulse thundering in his ears. He’s pushing through the crowd now, needing air, weaving through the dresses and tuxedos, his breathing shallow and uneven, the song having stolen the air straight from his lungs.

He feels too exposed, like everyone in the room is reading his memories.

It hurt – God, it hurt so bad – to be here without you.

And time goes by, so slowly…

Then—

He feels it. The shift in the air. A familiar presence so engrained in his soul that his heart recognizes it before his mind does. He doesn’t even need to think about it.

There. Across the room.

You. Your eyes scanning the crowd, searching, as if you could sense him in the same way he felt you.

He didn’t even need to look hard. You were unmistakable, a picture of grace and understated elegance, wearing a deep blue dress that trailed behind you like ink spilling across the floor. He can see it from a distance, the bruise blooming across your collarbone, another fading on your arm. But you were alive. You were here. The sight of you made Spencer’s heart ache. It felt like he’d been holding his breath for weeks, and now, he could finally exhale.

And time can do so much. Are you still mine?

Your eyes found his. Tired – not broken, but worn. Real. And then, that smile. Soft. Familiar. It almost undoes him.

Time fractures around him, slowing to a stop as he walks toward you. His feet move, his brain lags behind. He doesn’t know how, but he’s suddenly right in front of you. His hand reaches for your waist, tentative at first, like you’re an apparition that’ll vanish if he moves too fast.

You turn into his arms effortlessly, like no time has passed. Like you’d never left. His grip tightens then, fingers trembling as they interlocked with yours and he pulled you closer. He felt your arm wrap around him, hand resting between his shoulder blades. And suddenly, breathing is easy again.

Neither of you speak. No words are needed. And he’s thankful for that, because the moment he saw you every word in the English language was forgotten to him.

I need your love, I need your love, God speed your love to me.

You sway together to the song. Slow and unhurried. Stood amongst a crowd that matters no more.

Your head rests gently against his shoulder, and the weight of your presence is like a balm to his soul, his cheek brushing your temple. He isn’t sure how long you dance together. It doesn’t matter. The music has changed, but you haven’t. You still moved, pressed against each other, the rhythm of being whole again.

‘I can’t believe you’re here,’ he says, barely audible.

‘You invited me,’ you reply with a soft smile. ‘I didn’t want to miss it. Or seeing you in a tux.’

He laughs. It’s shaky and uneven, choked by emotion. ‘Please… never leave like that again.’

‘I don’t plan on it.’

Later, the door to your apartment clicks open with the low creak of disuse. He hadn’t set a single foot in here since you’d left. Didn’t think he’d be able to bear it. He steps in behind you, hand still gently laced with yours, refusing to let you vanish again.

Your heels are off before the door even shuts, the relief you feel immense as you lean against the wall, eyes fluttering closed for a brief moment at the familiarity of everything. The four walls around you, the man holding your hand. The weight of everything – the evening, the mission, the months apart – all press down on you simultaneously. Spencer watches, recognizing the fatigue in the way you hold yourself, the exhaustion in your eyes when you open them again.

‘You need sleep,’ he murmurs. A fact.

‘You’re meant to say something like, “you look beautiful.”’

‘You look beautiful,’ he amends with a small smile. ‘But you still need sleep.’

He steps closer, wraps an arm around your waist like he’s gently trying to piece you together with just his touch. ‘You’ve been gone a long time,’ he points out.

‘Mm. I missed you every day,’ you say, fingers gently brushing his knuckles as they sit against your waist. ‘I didn’t handle it very well. Being away from you.’

Spencer doesn’t say I missed you too. Doesn’t need to. You already know. He shows it in the way he holds you tighter, in the kiss he presses to the corner of your mouth like he’s trying not to cry. Gentle, but a little desperate.

He guides you through your apartment, bodies still swaying, carrying the ghost of the music from earlier. You move with each other, a perfect dance of your own.

‘Spence?’

‘Yeah?’

‘Can I have a proper kiss, please?’

It’s slow and unhurried when he presses his lips to yours, time finally on your side again. When you pull away, he’s still chasing the warmth of it.

‘I can’t believe you’re really here,’ he whispers, touching your face, brushing his thumbs along your cheeks.

‘Get used to it,’ you respond softly. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’

Eventually, black tie is exchanged for soft clothes and pajamas. You’re curled against his side beneath a shared blanket, flicking idly through channels on the television. It’s almost exactly how it was the night before you left, except this time there’s no silence that aches. Just the gentle hum of safety, of being home.

‘2229,’ he says, pressing his lips to your hair as you lean into his side.

‘Hm?’

‘The hours,’ he responds, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. ‘I can stop counting them now.’

[xoxochb]

we need more jason x apollo reader i love them!!!

“you’re hurt.”

a frown graces your mouth, followed with eyes prickling with concern. you drop your current task, organizing through endless drawers, and swiftly find your way to jason.

you latch each of your hands onto his biceps, scanning your eyes over the cut on his cheek. barely anything visible, but bleeding nonetheless.

“I’m fine.”

“no. you’re—” you inhale and run your finger upwards to rub off the blood, revealing not even a sliver beneath. “what happened?”

“well,” jason begins, pushing up his glasses on his nose. “I was grabbing my sword but it grazed my cheek by accident.”

“does it hurt? was it bleeding a lot? more than this? did you slice it with the pointed end or the side? was your sword clean or—”

“sweetheart.”

“if it was dirty the cut might get infected and— oh my gods, I should clean it just incase stay here.”

you attempt to rush of to grab your newly organized medical tools, but the moment your hands leave jason’s, his hand reaches out to take ahold of your wrist, gingerly tugging you back until your face collides with his chest.

you look up quickly only to see as he smiles. yet you remain frowning.

“I’m fine. it doesn’t hurt, it wasn’t bleeding a lot, this was all, I sliced it with the pointed end, and my sword was clean.”

you exhale a breath you’d forgotten you were holding. “are you sure? I really think I should clean it just incase you know how the stolls are what if they did something to it while you were away they could’ve—”

your worried ramble is cut off yet again, this time by jason’s hands cupping your face entirely. he rubs his thumbs over the apples of your cheeks gently.

“I’m fine, really.”

“are you sure?”

“yes.” he kisses one cheek. “I promise.” then the other as they glow with a pink hue.

you curl your hands around his wrists and nod obediently. “okay. but if it starts to hurt tell me.”

“yes ma’am.”

“thank you.”

on your highest possible tippy-toes, you reach up to plant small pecks to jason’s lips. one to each corner before one to his scar before returning on flat feet.

his blue eyes twinkle perfectly within the candlelight and darkness of the infirmary. you’re thankful to bask in the cozy, domestic moment as most of your siblings had retreated to cabin seven for the night.

you had opted to stay and clean up. enjoy the peace and serenity of an empty infirmary. jason arriving had only been a plus to that privilege.

absentmindedly, your frown curls into a soft smile as you step up again, slowly inching closer to your boyfriend the same way he does. your lips are only millimeters apart when a familiar voice rings in your ears and a glimpse of blond curls in your peripheral vision.

“seriously? in the infirmary? where I work? where other people will be laying on these beds? you should be ashamed of yourselves.”

[perachel-heretic]

the protestant reformation being real in solangelo's relationship makes me Think so much, mostly about silly little disagreements it would cause (beef over the eucharist, weirdly strong opinions about different books in the Bible, Nico going to bat for Mary) but also about how those backgrounds would impact their thought process when they're introduced to camp and the Gods.

I honestly cannot remember for the life of me if its canon that Will has a bookshelf with mythology texts or if its just a long held fanon belief but regardless I do think his approach would be text based. Will knows the Bible and how to read it (remembers his grandma's worn copy covered in pink highlighter and sticky notes, knows the passages his youth pastor pointed him to when he admitted to having a crush on a boy, can recite the exact verses that taught him shame) and his first reaction is to get his hands on Homer and Hesiod and Ovid and pull out his own pink highlighter to draw his own conclusions. Being a son of Apollo but also brought up to read and interpret religious text, that sort of poetry would just click in his brain. It would seem very natural to him for each camper to have a personal relationship with their godly parent, which would of course make it sting even more when it turns out Apollo doesn't really touch base all that often and he was actually lucky to even be claimed in the first place.

Nico, on the other hand, would probably not even consider that meeting a God was remotely possible even if they were real if he wasn't introduced to three of them within his first 24 hours as a demigod. It makes perfect sense that he would align himself with the minor Gods because what is a Catholic Saint if not functionally a minor God and therefore the logical first point of contact in Nico's mind. And on that note of course he's obsessed with mythomagic!! That shit is like Catholic prayer cards with stats!! He probably doesn't know much about the Bible itself, but coming from a very old and established religious culture, he knows all about art and ritual. Will probably grew up with some Kinkade-esque illustrations hung around a prayer hall, but Nico's memories of mass consist of zoning out and looking at mosaics and paintings, and then when he had those memorized moving on to architectural sculpture and endless gilded decorations. He can't name a Bible verse, but he can remember that St Lawrence is associated with the grill and a winged lion means he's looking at St Mark. When he sees the blue Will's eyes for the first time he thinks not of the sky, but of the blue of Mary's cloak, the blue of purity, virtue, and devotion. He takes to Greek art and architecture before he processes the written mythology, and after appreciating the number of male nudes he's allowed to look at, it also occurs to him that much of it is actually very, very familiar. He thinks the first statue of Apollo he sees is Christ at first before he notices the lyre. Will might be weirded out at first by the little rituals he's introduced to around camp, something buried deep in his brain yelling about demons when he incinerates his leftovers for the first time, but Nico adjusts a little easier. Incense and wine smell like his childhood, and his general creepiness might stem more from his comfort level with death and martyrdom than the underworld.

At some level I also think Nico associates divinity with sacrifice and suffering, leading him down a hero's path and contributing to a bit of self martyrdom, while Will associates it with salvation and teaching. He also feels a sort of personal responsibility for that salvation which could manifest as an evangelizing instinct but mostly urges him to heal as many people as possible.

[luiluvr]

Im majoring in cosmetology and something that you could write is reader just had a state exam. You studied very hard for it. You thought you aced it when you received your results from the exam. You failed it. You were heartbroken. Luigi comes home and finds you crying in the bathroom. He comforts you and is there for you. Encouraging you to keep trying and not to give up on your dreams. “Everything is going to be okay my princess, your the best cosmetologist I know, you will get there my beautiful angel” maybe something you can write. Chessy Lu here 🤧.

A+ in my heart || luigi mangione

A/N: i’m trying to catch up on old reqs in my inbox and this alongside one for hotchner were the firsts 💔 biggest apologies it’s taken me forever, also i think it’s so cool ur majoring in cosmetology 🥹 (shamelessly blasted this song while writing this ☝🏼☝🏼)

WARNINGS: none, just a bit of self-loathing, not proofread

SUMMARY: You graduated from cosmetology school, now you had to take the exam to be licensed to actually work. Unfortunately, when the results came in you had failed with three points to passing. Disappointed and frustrated with yourself, you cried in the bathroom trying to understand how you failed when you worked so hard. Luigi returns home and comforts you, reassuring you that you tried your best.

WC: 1.2k

Your heart beat wildly in your chest as you opened your email to review your results for the state exam you took a couple of weeks prior for your cosmetology license.

You spent endless hours studying, perfecting everything you knew, and breaking it down to the tiniest of details just so you’d be prepared to take the exam. This was your passion, your life, something you always dreamed of doing — not just for fun, but as a serious career. Doing hair, makeup and the other perks of cosmetics were so dear to your heart. It was a fulfilling childhood dream. You tried to steady your breath, whatever happened did not define your worth or your intelligence. Your laptop screen just read: Loading…

Finally, it loaded.

Oh!

Oh no.

You felt your heart drop to your ass, your body felt cold, like someone just sucked the life right from your bones. How did this happen? How could you have failed the stupid thing? You were immediately so disappointed in yourself, all of that work — and for what? To fail? Silence engulfed the room and this cloud of darkness hung over you, the results stared back at you like a laughing joke.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” You yap quietly to yourself. Standing, you slap the laptop shut, not enough to harm the electronic but enough to satisfy the anger you have within. With no idea what to do, you pace the apartment a while.

Reluctantly, you seat yourself back down again and open the laptop, trying to see if the email mentions anything about what you missed, if you’re able to retake it, and where to go from here.

It pissed you off, you were barely three points away from a passing grade. Although you weren’t able to see the questions you missed, just the idea made you emotional. How could you have worked that hard for this outcome? You had done everything possible that was recommended for this exam.

All the textbooks, carefully took in every note and section. Studied it over and over again. Wrote down important key points. It wasn’t fair.

You had failed the one thing you knew you were good at. All you could do was cry. You ended up on the bathroom floor with your head in your hands, sobbing.

Luigi was your boyfriend — of around two years now. Your biggest supporter and the honest love of your life. He cheered you on; helped in any way he could. Whether it be letting you cut his hair, paint his nails, give him facials or put makeup on him for an assignment — it never bothered him and he would always compliment your work.

So supportive to the point he only let you cut his hair because of how much he trusted your steady hands. He’d let you experiment around and trim his beard when he let it grow, let you try different hairstyles — hell, he’d even leave his nails painted hot pink with little swirls and details on them if it made you happy; because it made him happy too.

You were always proud of everything you did — or at least tried to be. He never let you feel like a failure if you cut his hair too short, or poked him in the eye with a makeup brush.

When he got home, he found the apartment quiet, other than a soft sound coming from the bathroom. Worried that maybe you fell, or were hurt, he dropped his bag and rushed over, “Baby?” He says, pushing the bathroom door, finding you with tears running down your cheeks, eyes glossy and puffy. Your cheeks were all red.

“Bellissima..” He whispers, kneeling beside you and immediately taking you into his arms, pulling you into his chest and nudging your body onto his lap. “What is it, baby? What happened?”

Managing to swallow the lump in your throat, you let him tilt your head up and wipe your tears with his thumb. You sniffle, embarrassed to say it, but you do. “I failed the exam.” The words stung being said out loud, a big, fat joke this all was.

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry.” He murmurs, kissing under your ear now, trying to ease your nerves. “I’m such an idiot.” You say, almost breaking down again. He made you so vulnerable, and he wouldn’t tell you to stop crying, he knew you needed to let it out. He'd let your tears soak his shirt completely if it meant hugging you to comfort.

He holds you tightly, doing just that. Allowing you to cry out the wave of emotions, his large palm traces your spine and he rubs back over it. “Shh, it’s okay. You’re not an idiot, you did the best you could. You know that, you’re not the only one who failed it either — there're plenty of successful cosmetologists who probably failed their first attempt.” He says reassuringly, peppering your forehead with kisses.

“I just don’t understand, Lu.” You whispered, wiping your cheeks dry and catching your breath. “I worked so hard.”

“You did, and you acknowledge that. That’s a good thing. You know you did the best you could, so now you can do even better.” He smiles. “What if I don’t, though?” You couldn’t help but ponder.

“Now don't you think that way, my love. Don’t get pessimistic on me, not after all the nail polish I’ve let you put on me.” He smirks, nudging you as he comfortingly rubs your hips subconsciously.

And god forbid he reminds you of the time he let you give him frosted tips. His mother almost had a heart attack. Saying that “he ruined his hair.” To be fair, it washed out rather quickly, it wasn’t meant to stay long — just another assignment.

“I’m sorry… I can’t help but think about it — what if I just fail the next time too? What if I fail every attempt they give me and I never get to be a cosmetologist? Maybe it’s a good thing, maybe the universe is telling me I won’t be a good one so I should stop now-“

Luigi hushes you, placing his pointer against your lips, he interrupts you, “Everything is going to be okay, princess. You are the best cosmetologist I know. Okay? You’re gifted, and you will get the chance to express it to the world, you’ll share your talent with others and make everyone feel special because they got to have you doing their hair, or makeup, or whatever else.”

You smile faintly at his words, sniffling. “You’ll get there, angel. You just need to take a break for yourself, step back and relax. Then come back to it when you’re ready. There’s another time to retake the exam, it doesn’t have to be right away.”

“Thank you..” You mumble sheepishly, blushing on top of your reddened, tear-stained cheeks. He brushes a few hairs behind your ear and gazes at you for a moment. “My beautiful princess.”

“Lu..” You smile more, embarrassed by him over-complimenting you now.

“Don’t Lu me, bellissima.” He grins, kissing you, holding your head in place as he bites your bottom lip for fun. You shake your head and pinch him.

“Thanks for making me feel better.” You state, toying with one of his curls. He admires your head on his chest.

“The way I see it, you got an A+ in my heart.”

“You’re such a nerd.”

[runningincircl3s]

Sinematic

Vinny Mauro x Reader

Chapter 12

chapter warnings: smut again i just can't help myself lmao (and this is kind of a filler chapter haha, and i wrote it before i changed the plot so sorry if it feels kinda out of place!)

a vinny drum stream would fix me rn i've had a week from hell, and i haven't even had the time to write which always makes me feel better :( anyways i kinda love this chapter it's pretty chaotic, editing it felt like a fever dream lmao

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Neither of you talked about what happened after that night. You pretended it never even happened, not to each other, but it always played on both your minds. Neither of you wanted to talk about it out of fear. You knew it shouldn’t have happened, but you both enjoyed it, so why was it such a problem?

You could hear Vin watching something on his phone, assuming he must be sat on the couch, as you walked down the stairs.

“Where are you going?” Vin asked, stopping you in your tracks as you reached for your keys.

You glanced up to see him sprawled out on the couch- in the very spot it happened- one arm behind his head, the other holding his phone. His eyes were still glued to the screen, like he was only half-invested in the conversation, but you knew better.

“Grocery store.” That got his attention. His head snapped up, a smirk on his lips. 

“Finally.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You asked, your eyes narrowing. 

“Nothing… Just that you’ve been living off my food for days now.”

You rolled your eyes, grabbing your keys. 

“Whatever, asshole. I'll text you when I'm on my way back.” You laughed, turning to the door. 

“Can I come?” Vin asked, sitting up. 

That made you pause. 

“To the grocery store?”

“Yeah.” He stood, stretching his arms over his head, his shirt riding up just slightly to expose a sliver of skin. “I’ve got nothing better to do.”

You hesitated, knowing full well that letting him tag along would mean constant distractions and a cart full of junk food, but the way he was already grabbing his shoes like it was a done deal made it clear you didn’t have much of a choice.

“Fine.” You sighed, though a part of you was happy to have him join you. "But we can't be too long, I've got plans tonight."

Vinny grinned, pulling his hoodie over his head and slipping his shoes on.

…

You regretted it immediately.

The moment you stepped into the store, Vinny was like a kid let loose in a candy shop.

“Do we need these? I think we've run out of this flavour.” He held up a pack of pop tarts. 

“No, put it back.”

He dropped it into the cart anyway.

“Vinny!”

“What?” He grinned. “You’ll eat them too.”

You let out a dramatic sigh, pushing the cart forward as he trailed beside you, tossing in things you definitely didn’t need. Chips, cookies, some different flavoured energy drinks. Every time you tried to put something back, he’d snatch it away from you and toss it back in with a look of pure defiance.

“You realise all this stuff is bad for you, right?”

“Yeah, and?” He shrugged, popping open a bag of gummy bears and throwing one into his mouth before you could stop him.

“Vin! You can’t eat that before paying for it!”

He only smirked. 

“What you gonna do about it?”

“I should’ve left you at home.” You groaned. 

As you made your way through the store, Vinny found ways to make it as annoying as possible- suddenly stepping in front of the cart so you had to stop, grabbing random items and insisting you needed them, playing obnoxious tiktok audios on his phone way too loudly.

It was like going shopping with a child. 

It was worse than going shopping with a child.

You turned the corner and immediately slowed your pace, recognising the aisle.

Vinny followed behind, but stopped when he saw where you were headed.

“Wait. Is this…?”

“Yes,” you sighed. “The period aisle.”

He blinked at the endless wall of pastel packaging like it was an alien language.

“Christ. Don't they all do the same thing? Why are there so many options?”

You scanned the shelves, before muttering,

“Shit- I forgot painkillers. Can you grab me the night time pads? It should be a purple pack, and make sure it's the one with wings.”

“Purple pack. Wings. Got it.” He nodded like he’d just been given a military mission.

You took off toward the pharmacy section while he turned back to the shelf, immediately overwhelmed.

Ten seconds later, your phone buzzed.

Vinny: I’m sorry but this is possibly the only time I'm going to get the opportunity to actually say this

Vinny: Babe I'm in the pad aisle what size pussy you wear

You stared at your screen, horrified and laughing all at once.

You found the painkillers you needed, then returned to the aisle to find him standing there with five different packs in hand, looking like a lost child.

“Vin...”

“I panicked.”

You took the right one from him and dumped the rest back on the shelf.

“You had one job.”

“I tried! But they all had different numbers and I had too google what it meant, then suddenly I was knee-deep in absorbency levels and wondering if I needed a menstrual engineering degree.”

You shook your head, biting back a grin.

“You’re the worst.”

“I’m the best,” he corrected. “Also, wings? Fancy. Your vagina deserves air travel.”

“Vinny.”

“What?”

You rolled your eyes, pushing the cart again.

“Come on. And don’t say ‘vagina’ in public again. Or anywhere-”

“VAG-”

You smacked a hand over his mouth before he could finish, laughing anyway.

You tried to avoid the seasonal aisle after spotting a giant teddy bear. You hoped Vin didn't see it, but when you heard his gasp and saw him point at something, you knew what it was going to be.

“I’m getting this.” He picked it up, it was almost as big as him.

You stared at him, deadpan. 

“Vin. You’re a grown man.”

“And? You still sleep with stuffed animals.”

You sighed- he had a point. And you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t cute.

“Fine. Put it in the cart. But that's it.”

Vinny grinned victoriously, tossing it in like he’d just won a battle.

By the time you made it to checkout, the cart was a disaster. Half your items you actually needed for the week were buried under bags of chips, candy, and now the giant teddy. 

“You’re paying for all your shit.” You informed him as you started packing it away into bags.

Vinny raised an eyebrow. 

“But you invited me.”

“I did not. You invited yourself.”

“You let me come. Same thing.”

You groaned, shoving the bag of open gummy bears at him. 

“Then at least hold your own junk.”

Vinny only laughed, throwing an arm around your shoulders as he grabbed the bag. 

“You love me.”

“I tolerate you.” You smirked, but didn’t push him away. 

As you loaded everything into the car, an idea crossed your mind.

You weren’t done shopping just yet. 

“I’m not ready to go home yet.”

Vinny leaned against the car. 

“So where to next?”

You thought for a moment, then grinned. 

“Wanna go to the mall?”

“Are you buying me something?”

“No.” You snorted. 

Vin sighed dramatically, but still opened the car door and got in. 

…

The mall was packed, full of couples, groups of teenagers, and parents wrangling their kids from store to store. You weaved through the crowd, Vinny trailing behind you, holding your bags for you after you bought something.

“Look at you, being a gentleman.” You teased.

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered. “Just don’t make me hold anything embarrassing.”

You smirked. 

“Define embarrassing.”

Vinny gave you a wary look, and you decided now was the perfect time to take things up a notch.

The moment you passed a lingerie store, you stopped.

Vinny, who had been focused on his phone, didn’t realise where you were leading him at first. But when he noticed you weren’t walking anymore, he turned, following your gaze to the store.

“Oh, no. No way.”

You glanced at him, feigning innocence. 

“What?”

He gestured vaguely to the store, looking mildly horrified. 

“Absolutely not.”

“Why not?”

“Because,” he said, already taking a step back, “I should not be in there with you.”

You tilted your head. 

“Why? Friends can shop for lingerie together, right? Me and Ang do it all the time!”

Vinny squinted. 

“You are evil.”

You didn’t wait for him to come up with another excuse. You just grabbed his wrist and pulled him inside.

As you walked in, you were met with displays of lace and silk. Vinny stiffened beside you, eyes darting everywhere except at what was hanging on the racks.

“You can wait outside if you want.” You offered, knowing full well he wouldn’t.

He scoffed, still continuing to follow on behind you.

“Okay. Suit yourself.” You smirked.

You took your time browsing, running your fingers over delicate fabrics, considering different sets. Every so often, you glanced at Vinny, who was clearly uncomfortable and a little flustered but trying to act like he wasn’t.

At one point, you held up a black lace set. 

“What do you think?”

His jaw tightened. 

“I think I’m in hell.”

You laughed, setting it back down, before grabbing a dark red set (his favourite colour, if you remember correctly) and holding it against your body, tilting your head as you inspected yourself in the mirror.

You pretended not to notice how Vin bit down on his lip as he watched you in the mirror.

“That one’s pretty.” You heard him say, and you pretended like you couldn’t feel your cheeks heating up. 

“You think I should get it?”

“And who would you be wearing it for?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“For me,” you scoffed. “Can’t a girl want to look hot for herself?”

You meet his gaze in the mirror, and something in his eyes made butterflies flutter in your stomach. 

It lasts for only a second before Vinny clears his throat, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Are you done torturing me yet?”

You bite back a grin. 

“Yeah, I think so. I’m buying this one.”

As you make your way to the checkout, Vinny follows close behind, and as you are about to take out your card to pay, he stops you, handing you his own. 

You feel your heart skip a beat as he pays for it, pretending you don’t notice the way his gaze lingers on the bag as you take it.

…

“The guys are coming over for dinner, right?” You asked Vin as he walked into the kitchen, filling his glass up with water.

“Yeah, we could order takeout though if there isn’t enough-”

“No! I’ve made plenty for everyone.” You laughed, stirring the pan of pasta. 

“D’ya need any help?” Vin asked after a pause. 

“No, it’s fine. You’re streaming anyway, I don’t want to steal you away from the fans.”

“I just ended it actually,” he said, leaning against the counter as he took a sip from his glass, “They’ll be here soon so I thought I’d get off early.”

“Well if that’s the case, I could do with some help…”

By the time dinner was done, the kitchen smelled incredible. You were just plating up when the door knocked. Vinny shot you a glance as he wiped his hands on a dish towel.

“That’ll be the guys.” He said, walking to the door in no rush.

He opened it, letting his friends in as he greeted them.

“Hey, chef!” AJ greeted, as he passed the kitchen. 

You waved at him, but then you suddenly spotted the pink bag in the hallway that you had forgotten to put away. You had been too caught up in cooking to even take it up to your room after coming home… and AJ noticed, and followed your gaze. 

His smirk was instant.

“Ooooh, what do we have here?”

Your stomach dropped.

Before you could move, he grabbed it, holding it up with an exaggerated wiggle of his eyebrows.

“Someone went lingerie shopping.”

Vinny, who had just reached into the fridge, froze. His eyes darted to you, then to the bag, then back to you. You could practically see the gears turning in his head.

“AJ. Put that down!” You warned.

AJ, of course, did not put it down. Instead, he turned to Vinny, wiggling his eyebrows. 

“So? Is this for you, or should we be concerned about some new mystery man in our life?”

“Oh, she’s got one,” Emil piped up, grinning. “Ciaran.”

Vinny scoffed, finally moving again as he grabbed a few beers from the fridge, and handed them out.

“Please. He’s a fucking joke.”

AJ’s eyes gleamed with mischief. 

“You sound pretty confident about that.”

Vinny cracked open his beer, shooting you a look. 

“Tell them. Tell them how fucking boring he is.”

You frowned, taking the bag from AJ and shoving it aside. 

“No! He’s nice.”

Emil leaned forward. 

“So when are you next seeing him?”

“Tonight actually." You admitted, grabbing your own drink, and ignoring how Vin almost choked on his beer. 

“Since when?” Vin’s eyebrows furrowed, but AJ butted in before you could say anything.

“Perfect. We’re coming too!” He grinned. 

You blinked. 

“Excuse me?”

“Oh yeah,” Emil nodded. “We’re gonna check this guy out, make sure he’s good enough for you!”

Vinny’s expression changed, and now his smirk was downright evil. 

“Oh, we should absolutely do that.”

You glared at all of them. 

“You guys are the worst.”

“It’s called caring.” AJ smiled innocently. 

As dinner went on, the teasing didn’t stop. Every time you thought they’d moved on, someone would drop another sly comment, and Vinny, the little shit, just kept adding fuel to the fire.

And then by the time dinner was finally over, you were seriously reconsidering your life choices.

Vinny leaned back in his chair, beer in hand, and smirked at you. 

“So, what time are you meeting him?”

“In about an hour.” You said, checking the time. 

AJ wiggled his eyebrows. 

“Plenty of time for us to get ready and tag along. Are you dressing up? Should we dress up?”

You groaned. 

“You guys are not coming.”

“Too late,” Emil grinned, stretching his arms behind his head. “We’ve already decided.”

Vinny chuckled, clearly loving the chaos.

“Come on, y/n. It’ll be fun.”

“For who?!” You shot him a glare.

“...For us.” He said simply, taking a sip of his beer.

You huffed, standing up to take your plate to the sink. 

“You guys are the worst, y'know that?”

“And yet, you still love us,” AJ teased, nudging Vinny after you had disappeared. “So, what do you think? We show up, sit at the bar, and keep an eye on things?”

“Oh, absolutely.” Vinny nodded, feigning seriousness. 

…

You sat opposite Ciaran at a small table in the corner of the bar, hoping that the guys wouldn’t spot you when they inevitably turned up. 

The night was going by very well so far, you were getting to know Ciaran better, and he was nothing like what Vin painted him out to be. He was fun, he was kind, he was attractive. 

But then again, he wasn’t Vinny. 

“...So that’s when I said nah I can’t do this anymore and I had to leave.” 

“And then did the band break up because of that?”

“No,” Ciaran sighed, sitting back in his chair, beer in his hand, “I think everyone was just ready to move on, do their own thing.” 

That was when you spotted them. 

Vinny, AJ, and Emil strolled into the bar like they owned the place, they already had a few drinks back at home so they were louder than usual, laughing and nudging each other as they scanned the room. You froze, trying to sink into your seat before they could spot you, but it was no use. AJ’s eyes landed on you first, and his grin was instant.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” You muttered under your breath.

“What?” Ciaran asked, glancing over his shoulder.

“I apologise for anything they say or what they do, they have good intentions I swear.” 

“Who?” He laughs. 

Before you could answer, Emil was already waving, and AJ, because he was the absolute worst, gave an exaggerated gasp and pointed at you like he’d just uncovered some grand conspiracy.

Vinny, of course, was the last to look. When he did, his smirk was lazy, teasing, like he’d been expecting this exact moment. 

Ciaran turned back to you, brows raised. 

“Are they friends of yours?”

“Unfortunately,” you sighed. “Just… Please ignore them.”

Like he could possibly ignore them.

Vinny led the charge, striding over, AJ and Emil right behind him.

“Y/n!” He grinned,  pulling out the empty chair next to you and sat down without asking, draping an arm over the back of it like he belonged there.

“Vin, you’re drunk, go home.” You muttered under your breath, but he didn’t listen.

“Well, well, well,” AJ mused, giving Ciaran a once-over. “Look at this.”

Ciaran blinked, clearly thrown off by the sudden intrusion. 

“Uh, hey?”

AJ and Emil pulled up chairs and joined the three of you. 

“So you’re Ciaran.” Emil nodded slowly. 

Ciaran shot you a questioning look, and you groaned. 

“Ignore them,” you repeated, shooting Vinny a glare, “They’re idiots. And they’re drunk! And I told them to stay at home!”

“Nah, we’re just looking out for our girl. Making sure you’re, you know… up to standard.” Vinny just smirked, picking up the cocktail menu and flipping through it like he had all the time in the world. 

Ciaran let out a small chuckle, clearly trying to keep things light. 

“Well, that’s sweet, I guess.”

“Isn’t it?” Emil grinned.

AJ turned to you. 

“So, what do we think? Any red flags yet?”

“No! You’re my red flag.” You shot back, earning a laugh from Vinny.

Ciaran, to his credit, handled it well. 

“I promise I have good intentions, I like y/n a lot and I promise I’m nothing but kind and respectful,” he said, looking at you with a small smile. “No need to interrogate me.”

Vinny scoffed. 

“Oh, this isn’t an interrogation.”

“Oh?” Ciaran raised a brow. “What is it, then?”

Vinny smirked, tilting his head slightly. 

“A test.”

You groaned again. 

“I hate all of you. Ciaran I’m so sorry.”

Ciaran smirked. 

“You seem to know me, but you guys haven’t introduced yourselves.” He chuckled, sipping his beer. 

“I’m AJ, this is Emil and Vinny. We’re y/n’s full time besties, part time wingmen.” He grinned. 

“Not after tonight you’re not.” You groaned. 

“Oh… I thought I recognised you,” Ciaran nodded at Vin, “You left with him the first time we met.” 

Shit.

“Uh, yeah that’s Vin…”

“The guy you live with?”

“Yep.” Vinny smiled, leaning back in his chair like he didn’t have a care in the world. “That’s me.”

Ciaran nodded, seemingly unfazed. 

“Cool. I figured.”

You didn’t like where this was going. You could practically feel Vinny’s smugness radiating off of him.

AJ, trying to keep things light, leaned forward. You could tell he genuinely wanted to get to know Ciaran, to make sure he was good enough for you. 

“So, Ciaran, tell us more about yourself. What do you do?”

Ciaran shrugged. 

“I work in the music industry, I heard you guys do too… I’m a writer and producer. I used to play in a band, but that fell apart a couple years ago.”

Emil’s eyes lit up. 

“Oh, nice. What did you play?”

“Guitar,” Ciaran said. “I did some vocals, too.”

“Sick,” Emil grins, “I play guitar too.” 

“Well, you probably already know but I’m a drummer,” Vin brags, sitting back in his chair, legs slightly spread, “I play for Motionless in White actually, you might've seen us play at Wrestlemania last year... What band were you in?”

You could feel him getting competitive so you shot him a look. 

“Vin, stop.” 

“What?” He said innocently, taking another sip of his drink as Ciaran talked about his old band.

“...I just like making music. I wasn’t really happy in the band but it was all I knew.”

Emil, who was actually interested now, asked,

“You still play?”

“Yeah, just for fun.”

AJ nodded approvingly.

“That’s cool, man.”

You relaxed a little. Okay, maybe they were going to behave. But you weren't so sure about Vinny.

Then he leaned in. 

“So, Ciaran,” he drawled, “if you had to describe yourself in three words, what would they be?”

You groaned. 

“Vin, oh my god, seriously?”

But Ciaran played along, tilted his head in thought. 

“Uh… chill, I guess? Thoughtful. And… I dunno, easygoing?”

Vinny smirked. 

“Sounds riveting.”

AJ elbowed him. 

“Dude.”

Vinny held up his hands. 

“I’m just saying. This is a test, remember?”

Ciaran just laughed. 

“You really don’t like me, do you?”

Vinny took a long sip of his drink before answering. 

“I don’t know you.”

It was a very Vinny answer, cocky, a little dismissive, but mostly just because he liked messing with people. You rolled your eyes.

Emil, trying to keep the peace, jumped in. 

“You know, I think you’re alright.”

Ciaran raised his beer. 

“I’ll take that.”

AJ smirked. 

“Yeah, you’re not bad. Pretty brave, actually, putting up with this one.” He gestured toward you.

You gasped. 

“Wow. Okay. I’m leaving.”

AJ grinned, throwing an arm around your shoulders before you could escape. 

“Nah, you love us.”

Ciaran laughed, but Vinny just tapped his fingers against the table, eyes flicking between you and Ciaran.

You weren’t sure why, but something about it made your stomach flip.

“Look, man, if you’re just trying to get in her pants-” 

“For fuck sake, drop it, Vinny!” You raised your voice, “Stop!” 

“You weren’t saying that last night-” 

“You’ve got a cool accent, where are you from? Scotland?” Emil asked, ignoring whatever Vin and you were doing. 

“Northern Ireland,” Ciaran nodded, “Belfast.” 

“We’ve been there before!” AJ nodded, “Very cold… What brought you over here?”

“I moved to join the band and just never left I guess. I was originally living in LA but then after the band split I moved in with a friend over here.”

You could still feel Vinny’s eyes on you, even as the conversation moved on. His comment still burned in the back of your mind.

Ciaran, to his credit, didn’t react. You were praying he hadn’t heard. Or maybe he was just choosing not to. Either way, you could feel the shift in the air, like something was about to snap.

“...So now that’s why I’m just writing, producing, and working with smaller artists. It’s a lot more fulfilling than what I was doing before.”

“Sounds like a step up,” AJ smiled.

“Debatable.” Vinny scoffed under his breath. 

You turned to him sharply. 

“Vinny, you’re being rude.”

“What?” He feigned innocence, swirling his drink. “Just saying. Going from being in a band to just producing? Kinda sounds like you gave up.”

Ciaran frowned slightly, but his voice remained even. 

“I didn’t give up. I just figured out what made me happy. And I didn’t feel comfortable on stage performing.”

Vinny tilted his head, smirking. 

“Right. And what makes you happy now?”

Ciaran glanced at you before answering, but Vinny didn’t miss it.

“Writing music,” Ciaran said simply.

Vinny let out a low chuckle. 

“Right,” He took a slow sip of his drink before adding, “Well, at least it’s not someone else’s girl, huh?”

You could feel the rage burning beneath your skin. 

“Oh, you’re one to talk, Vin.” You growled, raising an eyebrow at him. 

AJ and Emil exchanged uneasy glances.

Ciaran tensed slightly, exhaling through his nose before setting his drink down. 

“Right.” His tone was calm, but you could tell Vinny’s words had landed exactly the way he wanted them to. “I think I’m gonna call it a night.”

“Ciaran, no, wait-” you reached for him, but he was already standing, grabbing his jacket.

“Thanks for tonight,” he said, voice still level, but there was a tightness to it. He turned to you, offering a small smile. “I’ll see you around, yeah?”

You swallowed, nodding.

And just like that, he was gone.

…

“What the hell was that all about, hm?” You shouted at Vin as you walked through the door, finally home.

“I got weird vibes from him. I didn't think you liked him anyway.” Vin shrugged, shutting the front door behind him like this was the most casual thing ever.

“Well, I did!” You spat. 

“Yeah, right. He's not your type at all.” He scoffed. 

You turned around, facing Vin with an anger in you that you haven’t felt in a while. 

“Oh you're not serious, are you?” You seethed, stepping closer, your chest rising and falling with frustration. “You don’t get to decide who my type is, if I even have one!”

Vinny smirked, leaning lazily against the wall like he wasn’t the reason you were seconds away from losing your mind. 

“I don’t have to. You just proved my point.”

Your fists clenched at your sides. 

“Oh, enlighten me, asshole. What point is that?”

He took a step forward, closing the space between you.

“You didn’t run after him.” His voice was low, almost smug. “You could’ve chased him down, apologised, told him I was wrong. But you didn’t. You stayed. With me.”

Your breath hitched.

Vinny tilted his head, watching the way his words sank into your skin. 

“You didn’t go after him, y/n, because deep down you didn’t like him. Not the way you wanted to.”

Your heart pounded, anger twisting into something else, something more dangerous.

“You’re such a fucking prick.” Your voice was shaking now, your body thrumming with adrenaline.

“And you love it,” he taunted, voice dripping with arrogance, "Which is why you're not really into him..."

Your jaw clenched, your breath shallow as you stared him down, pulse roaring in your ears.

God, you hated him when he got like this.

You hated how right he was, and he could see it all over your face.

The tension between you was suffocating, your body practically vibrating with rage. Vinny stood there, so goddamn smug, so pleased with himself, and it made you want to scream.

Instead, you shoved him.

It wasn’t hard, just enough to get him away from you, enough to create space so you could think. But Vinny barely stumbled, just laughed under his breath as if you were proving something for him.

“What’s wrong?” He taunted, his voice dripping with amusement. “Mad that I see right through you?... I know you better than anyone, y/n.”

Your blood boiled.

“You don’t.”

He hummed, stepping forward again, instantly erasing any distance you’d tried to put between you.

“Don’t I?”

You glared up at him, swallowing hard. His face was way too close, his scent way too familiar, his presence way too intoxicating.

“You’re a fucking child.” You spat.

Vinny just smirked, his voice dropping lower. 

“And yet, you’re standing here with me instead of him. He never even got to fuck you, did he? We did it the fourth day of knowing each other, what does that say about you, about us...”

Your hands twitched at your sides. Your nails dug into your palms. Your heart pounded against your ribs.

Your hands moved before your brain could catch up, shoving at his chest again, harder this time.

But Vinny didn’t stumble. He barely even budged. Instead, his hands shot out, grabbing your wrists, holding them firm. His grip wasn’t rough, wasn’t cruel, it was steady and controlled. A silent challenge.

You should’ve pulled away. You should’ve kept fighting. But the way he was looking at you? Amused, infuriating, dark eyes drifting between yours and your lips like he already knew how this was going to end? It made your whole body burn. You had never seen him get like this before.

“You don’t want him,” Vinny murmured, voice low and certain. “You never did.” 

“Fuck. You.”

He grinned, leaning in, the heat of his breath ghosting over your lips.

“You’d rather fight with me than fuck him,” he whispered. “That’s how I know.”

You hated that he was right, and he knew it. And you hated how badly you wanted to prove him wrong.

Your pulse pounded in your ears, the heat of Vinny’s breath on your lips making your entire body tense. You hated him. You hated him. The smug way he stood there, the way he thought he knew you better than you knew yourself. The way he was so fucking sure of himself, so fucking cocky.

You wrenched your wrists from his grip and shoved him again. This time, he took a step back, but only because he let himself. His smirk deepened, and fuck, that just made you angrier.

“You don’t know shit.” You seethed.

Vinny tilted his head, mock-considering. 

“Don’t I?”

You wanted to scream. You wanted to punch him. You wanted to-

“Let’s break it down, shall we?” Vinny stepped forward again, slow and deliberate, backing you up until your spine hit the wall. His hands braced against the surface, caging you in. “Your friend sets you up to meet some guy, some nice guy, and what? You think that’s what you want?”

You swallowed hard, trying not to react to how close he was, to how warm he was, how you smell the alcohol on his breath- but you guessed he could with yours too. You both had a few drinks at the bar.

“I do want that.” You hissed.

Vinny’s smirk didn’t waver. If anything, it grew.

“No, you want to want that,” he corrected, voice just above a whisper, leaning in close, his lips a breath from your ear. “But that’s not what gets you all riled up, is it? I know you, baby, you don’t want simple or easy, it’s not… Thrilling enough, is it? 'Cause tell me... What happened last year? Why did you want me more than him?”

“Go to hell.”

His mouth brushed your jaw as he hummed, a low, knowing sound that made your stomach clench. 

“M’ already there.”

You should have shoved him away again. You should have walked away, locked yourself in your room, done anything but this.

But then his nose skimmed along your cheek, slow, teasing, deliberate, and your resolve snapped.

You turned your head sharply, lips crashing against his, and everything fucking erupted.

The moment your lips crashed against his, Vinny groaned into your mouth, his hands instantly finding your waist, fingers digging in hard enough to bruise. It wasn’t a sweet kiss. It was messy, all clashing teeth and pure frustration.

You hated him. You hated him. And yet, here you were, clawing at him, pulling him impossibly closer, needing more, needing everything.

Vinny pulled back just long enough to smirk down at you, lips swollen, breath heavy. 

“Knew it.” He panted.

“Fuck you." You spat, your hands fisting in his hoodie, yanking him back in.

Vinny just chuckled against your lips, but there was something darker in it now, something that made your entire body light up like a live wire. 

“That’s the plan.” He murmured, his teeth grazing your lower lip before he sucked it between his own, biting down just hard enough to sting.

You gasped, your fingers sliding under his hoodie now, nails scraping against bare skin. He growled, and suddenly his hands were on your ass, lifting you up as your back hit the wall.

Your legs wrapped around his waist instinctively, and fuck, the way his body pressed into yours, his hardness pressing between your thighs, you felt dizzy- and it wasn't becuase of the cocktails.

“You’re such a fucking asshole.” You hissed against his lips, grinding down just to prove a point.

Vinny groaned, his grip tightening, his head dropping to your neck. 

“Yeah?” he rasped, teeth scraping against your pulse point. “But you love it."

You've never hated him more.

Vinny’s breath was ragged against your neck. His fingers dug into your thighs as he pressed you harder against the wall, his body pinning you in place. You could feel him smirking against your skin, and it infuriated you.

You shoved at his hoodie, desperate to get it off him, and Vinny let you, only to immediately retaliate by gripping the hem of your own shirt and yanking it over your head. He didn’t even look at you before his mouth was back on yours, like he couldn’t waste another second without kissing you.

Your hands tangled in his hair, pulling hard enough to make him groan into your mouth, his hips instinctively grinding up against you.

It was all so fast, so messy, so angry.

“Still thinking about him?” Vinny muttered, voice dripping with jealousy as he kissed his way down your jaw.

You laughed, short, breathless and mean.

His mouth crashed back to yours before you could fire off another insult, silencing whatever smart remark was about to leave your tongue. The kiss was rough, all teeth and hunger, like he was trying to devour the last word right off your lips.

You whimpered despite yourself, nails digging into his shoulders. You hated how good it felt, how natural, how right... like your body was made to fight with his and fuck with his and fall apart underneath him.

Vinny groaned, his hands skimming along the curve of your waist, thumbs grazing just under your bra.

“Say it,” he growled against your lips, his voice barely above a whisper. “Say you don’t want him.”

You bit his lip in response, making him hiss, your breath ragged.

“I don’t want him.”

“Say you want me.”

You hesitated, not because it wasn’t true, but because it was too true. Because saying it out loud made it real, and that was scary. But Vinny waited, his grip unrelenting, his breath hot and heavy on your cheek.

And you broke.

“I want you,” you said, voice trembling. "Always want you..."

Vinny made a low, guttural sound, half growl, half moan, before his mouth was on you once again, even more desperate and unforgiving. He kissed you like he’d earned it, just by being right.

You hated that he was right.

He pulled away just long enough to nod towards the stairs, and before you know it he's stumbling towards his room like a man possessed. Your legs tightened around him, impressed at his strength and how he had carried you up the stairs, and your hands tangled in his hair, dragging your mouth across his jaw, biting just to leave your mark.

He kicked the door open, didn't even bother with the light, and dropped you onto the bed like you weighed nothing. You barely had time to gasp before he was on you again, pinning you beneath him, undressing you with a maddening urgency.

“I fucking knew it,” he muttered against your collarbone, kissing and biting his way down your chest. “Knew you were full of shit the second you said you wanted a nice guy.”

You arched beneath him, hands clawing at his back, gasping when his fingers slipped beneath your waistband, tugging hard.

“And you’re what?” you panted. “The opposite of a nice guy?”

Vinny smirked against your skin, sliding your leggings and panties down your legs, his mouth following close behind.

“No,” he said, kissing the inside of your thigh, voice dripping with arrogance. “I’m the guy who actually knows what you want... what you need... how to fuck you.”

Your breath hitched, your head falling back against the sheets.

You wanted to deny it, you should’ve, but when his mouth finally met your cunt, you couldn’t do anything but cry out his name.

“You still wanna tell me I don’t know you?” he rasped, voice low and rough as his hands slid up your thighs, spreading them wider, holding them open for him as his tongue licked a stripe up from your core, teasing your clit with the tip. "That's what I thought."

You couldn’t speak, not with his mouth on you like that, not with the way he devoured you like he had something to prove. Your hips jerked up, chasing the feeling, gasping when he flattened his tongue against your clit and groaned like he needed the taste of you to survive.

Your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling, grounding yourself as heat coiled low in your belly. He knew every inch of you too well, every twitch, every sound, every way your body begged for more, and he knew exactly what to do with you.

He didn’t stop until you were writhing, the orgasm tearing through you so fast and hard you cried out his name like it was the only thing you knew.

And then he was on you again, kissing you messy and desperate, the taste of you still on his lips, his cock thick and hard against your entrance. He didn’t tease, instead he pushed in all at once, a guttural moan ripping from his throat as he buried himself to the hilt.

You choked out a gasp, clinging to him as he began to move, slow at first, then rougher, frenzied, all restraint unravelling as the alcohol and adrenaline surged between you. You rolled your hips up to meet his, your eyes rolling back as the tip of his cock brushed just the right spot.

“You make me crazy,” you whispered, voice shaky. “...I hate how you mess with my head.”

Vinny’s hips stuttered for a beat, and when he looked down at you, his eyes were darker, sharper, like your words hit deeper than you intended.

“Yeah?” he rasped, thrusting harder, deeper, dragging a gasp from your lips. “I hate when you do it too.”

He kissed you, bruising and hungry, swallowing the rest of your thoughts. But they poured out anyway, your brain too foggy and your body too wrecked to filter the truth.

“I know we’re more than friends,” you panted, your voice cracking as he fucked you harder, angrier, like the words lit something in him. “I know you feel it. You can’t fuck someone like this and pretend it doesn’t mean anything-”

“I don’t,” he growled, cutting you off with another deep thrust. “Fuck, I don’t, baby… I feel it.”

Your eyes fluttered shut at the sound of it, the way his voice broke around the words like it cost him something to say them.

“I want you,” Vinny said, breathless, forehead pressed to yours again. “I want you all to myself.”

You whimpered, hips bucking up into his.

“Then have me.”

It came out ragged, almost a challenge, but Vinny didn’t need telling twice.

He let out a low, wrecked groan, burying himself deeper inside you with a sharp thrust that stole the breath from your lungs. His hands gripped your hips like he was anchoring himself, like if he let go, the moment would vanish.

“Fuck,” he muttered, head dropping to your shoulder. “You feel... shit so fucking good.”

You couldn’t speak. Could barely breathe. Your body was still shaking from your first orgasm, and now he was dragging you into a second, fucking you with everything he had, every thrust a wordless confession.

It wasn’t slow. It wasn’t gentle.

It was messy. It was rough and real.

He fucked you like he needed it, like he needed you, your skin, your breath, your mouth on his. Like if he couldn’t be inside you, he’d fall apart at the seams.

“You don’t get it,” he groaned into your ear. “I hate how much I want you.”

Your nails bit into his back, your legs wrapping tighter around him.

“Then stop pretending you don’t,” you gasped, your voice a wreck of need and desperation. “Just… fucking stop.”

And maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was that everything between you had been building for too long, but something in him cracked wide open.

“I think about you all the fucking time,” he breathed, hips losing rhythm. “You don’t leave my head.”

You whimpered, overwhelmed- by his words, by the way his cock kept hitting that spot that made you see stars, by the weight of everything you’d both buried for too long.

“I want you too, Vinny,” you whispered, the words slipping out before you could stop them. “So bad, it fucking terrifies me.”

Vinny’s thrusts turned frantic, wild, like the words set something off inside him.

He kissed you then, deep and unrelenting, and when he pulled back, his voice was raw.

“You’re mine tonight.”

And that was it. You came again, harder than before, your whole body shaking beneath him as he followed you over the edge seconds later, spilling into you with a broken curse, your name on his tongue like a prayer.

You stayed tangled like that, both of you breathless and trembling, your foreheads pressed together, your fingers still curled tight in his hair.

And in the silence that followed, your heart pounded with the echo of everything that had been said, everything he wouldn’t remember tomorrow.

But you would.

Every word. Every breath. Every crack in his voice.

And it would haunt you forever.

...

The morning light streamed through the cracks in the blinds, waking you.

Your head throbbed with the dull ache of too much alcohol, but it wasn’t the hangover that was making you feel nauseous, it was the weight of everything that was said last night, pressing down on you like a secret you couldn’t shake.

Vinny was still asleep beside you, half on his stomach, arm slung over your waist. His hair was a mess, his lip still slightly swollen from where you’d bitten it. He looked peaceful. Undisturbed.

And completely unaware.

Your eyes lingered on his face, wondering if he'd remembered what he said... "I want you all to myself", "you don't leave my head", "you're mine tonight."

You swallowed hard and slowly peeled yourself away from him, careful not to wake him as you sat up, pulling the sheets around your bare body. The soreness between your thighs was a cruel reminder of how real it had all been. How raw. How honest.

And he didn’t remember.

You knew it the second he stirred and blinked up at you, hair in his face, brow furrowed like he was still piecing the night together.

“Mornin’,” he rasped, voice thick with sleep. “What time is it?”

“Almost noon,” you said, your voice steady even as your chest caved in a little. “You were out cold.”

He groaned, stretching with a wince.

“Jesus… I haven’t been that drunk in a while.”

You forced a laugh, light and nonchalant, like your heart wasn’t twisting in your chest.

“Yeah, you passed out after we… you know.”

Vinny smirked, rubbing a hand down his face.

“Bet I was great though.”

He didn’t remember.

Not the way he’d begged to have you. Not the way his voice cracked when he said he hated how much he wanted you. Not the way he’d confessed that you were in his head all the time.

You stared down at the sheets, fingers knotting them up between your hands, and managed a small smile.

“You were.”

He yawned, sat up, and ran a hand through his hair.

“Cool. I’ll make coffee. Want anything?”

You shook your head.

“I’m good.”

Vinny kissed the side of your head as he got up, like it meant nothing. Like you meant nothing. And maybe last night hadn’t changed a thing for him.

But for you, it changed everything.

------------------------------------

this ended up being so much longer than i intended lmao

@collapsedglasshouses @miss570 @dominuslunae @sunshine-lvrr @death-ofpeace-ofmind @blade-dressed-in-red @amelia-acero @kait16xo @oobleoob @pipidoll @justdamnpeachy @bluehairpunklol @renegadebirch @devilsfuckingdance @darkwhisperswolf

[missmoonfrost]

Milkshake and medicine - a wolfstar microfic

@wolfstarmicrofic - May 7: Possibility - Words: 326

Remus steps back into the waiting room quietly. Sirius tosses the magazine he's been reading on the coffee table and looks up at him. Remus shakes his head.

"No?" Sirius frowns, "what do you mean, no?"

"It's only for people under 25."

"That's not fair!"

Sirius catches up to Remus, who is already stepping out into the bright spring day, a sharp contrast to his gloomy countenance.

"It's just been proven to reduce the cartilage degeneration caused by the transformations, not regrow it."

Remus looks the other way as he speaks and speeds up his steps as to shake Sirius, but he matches his pace.

"But if there's a possibility... Maybe you can get it abroad?"

"Maybe I don't want to spend every waking minute harassing doctors? Have you thought about that?!"

"I’m just trying to help! You don't have to do anything. I can write all the letters, make all the phone calls. And don't worry about the cost, I have that covered."

Remus halts and spins around to glare at Sirius.

"Will you stop it?! You know… There is a balance between investing all your hope in an endless chase and accepting that some things are not meant to be, mourn them and move on. And you're not the one forced to walk that tightrope!”

Remus jerks away, kicks a few dandelions at the edge of the sidewalk, sending their yellow heads flying. Then turns back to Sirius, shoulders slumping.

"I'm sorry", he says quietly, "I know this affects you as well. You have every right to -"

"No, you're right. You're absolutely right."

Sirius gently takes Remus' hands and slowly reaches to connect their lips, relieved as he feels Remus soften into the kiss and then into a soft embrace.

"I won't press it if you don't say so. How about mourning with some chocolate milkshake?" Sirius suggests, "I saw The Bearded Dragon had opened their outdoor seating."

Remus nods against his shoulder.

[oodearest]

Still in my Naruto brain rot era so here’s another AU I desperately need to see.

A podcast run by Naruto where his co-hosts are team 7 and other famous connections.

This is post war. It’s just them talking about their past and goofing off, but given how unhinged their lives were it’s just a series of crazy reveals

For example:

Yeah I kissed my girlfriend for the first time on the moon

Random stories of how Kakashi, their current Hokage, is lame. Sometimes he crashes those episodes too

A running joke about how many times Sasuke tried to kill them

The Konoha 12 talking about Gaara’s homocidal era and Lee joking that he gets an apology gift each year after Gaara almost ended his career

One episode where the Hyuuga cousins who look like they get along, let it slip that Neji tried to kill Hinata once. And Naruto regales everyone the tale of avenging Hinata’s honour during the Chuunin exams.

A whole episode dedicated to Sakura listing the stupid ways Sasuke and Naruto got injured.

Team 7, after popular request talking about what it’s like to train with the Sannin but it’s just them complaining about what a hot mess each one was. “Pervy Sage would leave me alone with the toads for weeks.” “Orochimaru was actually an alright teacher, when he wasn’t committing crimes against humanity.” “When Tsunade wasn’t on a bender, she’d train me by breaking my bones in a spar then making me heal them.”

An episode where Team 7 just for the chaos go an interview the main shop owners that used to bully Naruto

Naruto dropping casual lore like oh yeah I met my Dad the Fourth Hokage etc

Sasuke mentioning what he got up to with Team Taka and dropping lore on his fugitive days. “Yeah we were bounty hunter for a week to make money. Jyuugo’s good at knitting, we sold scarves in the market to make extra cash. Suigetsu grave robbed Zabuza’s sword. The Great Naruto bridge looks good tho.”

One episode they bring on everyone that was involved in the Sasuke retrieval mission and they recount it to an ashamed and guilty Sasuke. Shino mediates the episode and is sullen for not being included. He keeps muttering under his breath “If I was there you would’ve gotten him.”

Sakura brings Sai and Yamato on an episode and has them explain how traumatising their brief time with team 7 was.

The possibilities are endless and there’s so much lore between all the characters the amount of reveals they could drop!

[its-to-the-death]

Fourth Wall Fight Round 3

Flowey (Undertale) vs Niko (Oneshot)

Propaganda for each character below the cut! May include spoilers

Flowey

He can overwite your save file, refers to everything as being a game and either calls you out for watching someone else play the bad route or not actually killing people irl.

While Undertale is a game riddled with cracks in the fourth wall, Flowey is one of the only characters to directly address you, the player. If you open the game again after completing the true ending, Flowey pops up and talks to you, asking you not to reset the game in the following scene:

(Spoilers for all of Undertale) Even if for most of the game Flowey is content to watch you from offscreen, when he does talk to you he makes sure to be as threatening as possible. He reveals his knowledge of your ability to save and reset the game early on, taunting you about your mistakes and threatening to take your power back for himself. He does so at the end of the Neutral Route by hijacking six human souls and creating a pocket dimension where he can kill you forever, and when that fails he guides you towards completing the True Pacifist route, which gives him the opportunity to use the souls of all the monsters in the Underground to substitute for a seventh human soul to try and lock you in a better death loop. Over the course of several runs trying to get the golden ending, it is assumed that the player will grow to fear and then hate the little flower, which makes the No Mercy route's reversal of this dynamic more impactful. Before you, the player, entered the Underground, Flowey had control of the save file and messed around a lot with his reset powers. At first he tried to figure out how to make everyone happy, but he grew bored with that and eventually started using his powers to kill without consequences -- he started by hiding behind the excuse of being curious but then admitted he enjoyed it. He only reveals this backstory to you at the end of the No Mercy route (while also calling out playthrough watchers for "want[ing] to see it, but [being] too weak to do it themselves"), when, presumably, you have already finished the True Pacifist route and are curious about what would happen if you went in the opposite direction, making your journey the same as Flowey's. Previously, he had taken joy in goading you towards murder, even against him, but he doesn't get to appreciate that now as he realizes that you're about to kill him for real this time, and you do, as the world is destroyed about a minute later. This meta-commentary on what it means to be a player is only made possible by Flowey's ability to talk directly to you, which is impressive enough on its own, but even more impressive is that it doesn't stop at condemnation. See, after Flowey had been killing for a while, he realized that that was getting boring too, and got to the point where he ended up waiting around without resetting long enough for you to show up and usurp his power -- at first he was scared of not being in control, but then he realized that you could provide him with a fresh source of entertainment and set to work plotting how to come out on top. At the end of the True Pacifist route, you end up defeating Flowey by causing him to feel the emotions of all the souls he's absorbed, forcing him to reflect and realize that his endless fight with you -- which supposedly would cure his boredom by allowing to experience the high of killing someone who will never react the same way -- isn't actually fulfilling him, and that all he really wanted was a chance to let out the grief and fear that had consumed him for so long, for example, by yelling his issues at the only other person with first-hand experience resetting. Afterwards, he decides to give life another shot without powers and uses up his soul energy to break the barrier and let everyone go to the Surface, proving that no matter how far you let yourself go, you can still come back. (And postcanon dialogue released later suggests that he does end up finding ways to be happy.) But should you boot up the game again after the credits roll, Flowey will pop up and beg you not to reset or load your file for the sake of everyone's happy ending , and thus Undertale asks one final question -- can you too, let go of the safety of the game and move on?

Niko

Niko directly talks to the player for all of the game by their system name. The fourth wall basically doesn't exist in Oneshot 😭

[velvetvexations]

That post is absolutely crazy I'm an (almost) 30 year old ftm and like half the trans women I know around my age are the ones who get to go "oh yeah I came out at 14 and my wonderful parents moved heaven and earth to get me on blockers/E, with their support I work a job I love and my bottom surgery was 6 months ago!" (Y'know, the other half not being anywhere near as lucky because luck is not fucking gendered) meanwhile I came out as a kid and spent years being violently abused by my terf mother, got groomed as a teenager, was an alcoholic before my 20s, never got to transition medically, and was homeless for multiple years. Where's this magical universe where I'm the one who's already had hysto and top surgery and been on T since my teens, where I even have the savings to go do a hobby on the weekends? How do I go to this mythical timeline where coming out as a minor didn't almost kill me?

I've spent years teaching myself to not seethe with jealous hatred over every trans person who was luckier than me, years unlearning the gut reaction to spiral in self pity when my friends talk about their hormone milestones and surgeries. And that chucklefuck's allowed to just post shit like this! Why did I waste so much time on being a less miserable, bitter person? Why did I bother to overcome my dysphoric jealousy when it seems to be the leading thesis of every TRF on this godforsaken internet?

Few things have made me feel a fraction of the bleakness invoked by that post existing. No one should have felt comfortable making that post, and yet! The culture within the community that trans women are the eternal victims of the universe and must be given comically endless grace is going to destroy it. Why should community with other trans people come at the cost of however many of our sisters want to bitterly seethe about the privilege they imagine we have? Genuinely why should any trans man bother to be a better part of the community when our sisters are allowed to angrily discount the possibility of us suffering?

And it does indeed push many of them out. It sucks so bad. Part of what I do here is trying very hard to give people the comfort and solidarity they need to not feel totally rejected by the community.

[carnationnrecollection]

I like the way kanade’s main and secondary vocaloid (luka and kaito respectively) contrast each other. not just in personality but also in the way they go about things. luka talks in an almost cryptic tone, using analogies instead of saying things literally, leaving kanade to figure out what she means by herself. while kaito says things as directly as possible to get through to her

they both desire immediate change as seen in their actions (luka's persistence and kaito's bluntness) but they go about it in opposite ways. choosing these two for their respective events is kinda perfect. in carnation kanade's ego warps the way she creates songs but she doesn't realize this so by having luka's words be vague it forces kanade to think long and hard about what she meant which she did via her own self reflection which is how she realized why her songs failing and in turn realizing it was her ego that was getting in the way. while in kana4 kanade is trying to run away from her pain that comes from her endless composing, she feels it but she's trying not because she believes that's all she's good for for she's trying to get used to it. the blunt approach kaito uses works well because it's what she needed to have it get through her head, because deep down she knows what she's feeling but is pretending that feeling isn't there. having him bring up mafuyu was also genius because it shows that kanade knows what the healthy thing to do is, she's just not doing it herself. she'll go out of her way to help others but never herself and this was a clever way of expressing that. if kanade were to ever get a big arc ender event it would be cool if these two were the main vocaloids to play a big role to have everything come full circle.