#on the nose spoilers at the back love me some references

[asmolfolk]

Married! Boothill with kids.

"Oh, to be the one who married Boothill… A dream that yours truly writer would love to live. So, did you even think about it?"

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Idea: Married Boothill with kids. Fandom: Honkai Star Rail. Character: Boothill. Genre: Fluffy and a tiny tiny lil' bit of angst! There's a small mention of sex too. TW? Spoilers/leaks ahead! ─────────────────────────── As you guys voted: Boothill with kids it is! Just to make sure you all know, the first part is HIM as a Husband. AFTER THAT It's him as a dad. It was really fun doing this as this was something that I thought about with him with my Yume <3 Also: If you take inspiration or use this as a reference, please TAG ME!! I RLLY WANT TO SEE! I will do way more Boothill too! So stay tunned, the next one will be: "One last time." A short-fic~

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When you were about to proclaim your title as "HIS PARTNER", you could see the way that his eyes shined as he looked at you. For once, it was certain: This man was IN LOVE with you. The way he seemed to be completely lost in your eyes as you talked to him, The way he would hold your hands… For the first time in forever, you saw him so vulnerable. And, then, when you two looked at each other and finally kissed. It wasn’t a kiss like the many others you two would share, it was… Sweet, it was gentle and held on a flame that you could never think that someone could feel.

As the day would pass by... You were sure you married the right man, he's eyes showed nothing but devotion, love and everything else you could EVER imagine to have someone looking you as. He literally seemed to be falling in love with you a hundred times PER second.

You saw how... Sad he looked as he would see the family of your friends, but then... It was just one look at you and you could almost read exactly what he was thinking: "I also DO have a family now."

But, enough with that! Let’s talk about how he IS as a Married man.

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At first, you didn’t notice it but he would look at you for longer, his eyes were always checking on you - as If he was scared to see you disappear if his eyes were somewhere else. Every Time you talked, he would immediately look at you with those big heart eyes. [I swear! Instead of a gun point, it looks like this:] (Also, just wanted to point out that he canonically blushes - the shy expression - even at his nose.)

(I edited those images!! - The little hearts and the blushing)

I SWEAR! He looks so blushy and shy, but don't be tricked by that fool expression! He is going to say some really romantical stuff out of nowhere, always trying to make you blush just like him. Not only that, but Boothill also seems to LOVE messing with you... But can't quite handle you making this back, at least, not in the beginning.

"Doll, aren't ya' the prettiest being in the universe? I could swear ya' were one of those goddess of beauty that the red haired knight would tal' about." - He would smile as he hold your hand, bringing it closer to his lips - "I could jus' survive by looking at you." His words were always so sweet and full of love, he could NEVER say something bad about you - Also because of his beacon. He would always try to make you feel loved by his words, even more after being married to you.

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 As your husband, he would always be close to you. Normally, he loves to make you feel his face… It’s the only place he can feel it too. So, he loves EVERYTHING that could work with that.  He would let his head resting on your lap, chest, belly, shoulder - ANYTHING. His head slowly turned into something that he communicates BEAUTIFULLY with you about.  Sometimes, you compare him to an animal - More specifically a dog or a fox - because they would usually rub their head against their owners or to receive more attention.  Even so, it was nice. Even if he was a bit heavy, those moments could be cherished as really important.

It was close to noon, still… Boothill was laying his head against your chest not even moving a finger while he recharged and kept his eyes closed. You were sleeping, he knew you were tired and he didn’t let you do anything else before you could receive a good sleep for some minutes. He swore to wake you up before it was too late for your compromise. When it hitted the exact hour you asked him to wake you up, he immediately started to try to wake you. He didn’t even think about letting you sleep, if you INSISTED on going: It was important and he TRULY didn’t want to ruin anything you were on. “Doll? Partner! Spouse.” - When you finally woke up or stopped asking for more minutes, he would hold you even closer - “It’s time for you to do your stuff.” When he did that, he knew it was only a favor but he always loved when you gave him a kiss or a praise for waking you in time. They were more than just happy to help you out. As he received his reward for waking you up, he would help around anything you needed as you did your own thing.

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He would show you off... But not in THAT strange way, no. He would proudly show everyone EVERYTHING you did - with your consent. You are an artist? Well, pal, seems like Pom Pom and the WHOOOLE Astral express LOVES your art, even the unimpressed trailblazer. [They asked you to make... A drawing of them and a trashcan falling in love?-]  You make outfits? Seems like Argenti and others fashion and beauty freaks are making lots and lots of commissions.  You BAKE?! Well, sweetie. For the first time, you saw lots of Galaxy Rangers at your door, asking for your prices and sweets.  You KNOW that this was ALL him. But, even though you could think that he was trying to help you out - He would confess that he just couldn't stop talking about you to them.  He is the sweetest cyborg hubby.

“My husband…” - You didn’t even need to call for him again, he stopped cleaning his guns and immediately came to you - “Could you perhaps explain to me why a lot of people started calling me and following me on social media?” “Oh… About that, darlin’… I may or may not talk about your skills at the bar…” - You couldn’t even get mad. He was at a BAR and the only thing he did was talk about you and drink, it was… Strangely nice, you felt a little tingle' in your heart as you heard him talk about what he said. You couldn’t even handle a laugh while you told him that it was okay.

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As your husband, you should’ve known that he would do anything AND everything to just see you smile. He was already like this… But you DID NOT expect how far he would go. If he saw you sad, he would sit down and ask you about everything. He believes in trust and that THINGS can be solved talking [with words or guns] and he WOULD NEVER try to buy your happiness.  Not only that, he knows how to make you feel better. He made sure to remember every forking time you were feeling bad and he helped you… He always made sure to remember: What worked, what didn’t work, what helped a bit and what you HATED.

”Darlin’, you can’t be in your room forever.” - He heard a low (Watch me) from you and he chuckled - “I know ya’ are upset, but, lemme tell ya’ something darlin’... I just bought the whole Phantom of the Opera Musical and the Movie to watch with you and sing too… But I guess our musical karaoke can wait”  The moment you came out of the room, you were met with Boothill wearing the Phantom’s mask. “Now, come, my Angel of Music… Let’s start that thing.”

Just a bonus: I’m OBSESSIVE over Musicals. I love them so much!! And I think that Boothill would love them too, at first: He would say that he doesn’t like them that much: The only ones he saw were really poorly made.  But when you showed them your FAVS? THEY WERE IN LOVE! He started to sing along with you, loving the way you would always pick the best couples to interpret as.  The first musical he loved was The Addam’s Family: He was the Gomez of your Mortícia. You two would sing along so sweetly that you thought about submitting to be them.  Also: Never show Dear Evan Hansen to him, he will NOT stop trying to cry for a MONTH or WORSE. (Or do show.)

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 As your husband… Oh, dear. His kisses were the BEST!! He CAN’T go one day without kissing you at least three times in a day. He loves feeling your lips, he loves taking your breath out and letting you feel all hot and bothered. Knowing that - even with that metal body - can make you blush and shy away or giggle or just look at him full of love was enough for him.

 “Please… Again.” - He would ask and, as always, you would indulge. You kissed him, he would hold you so close that you thought he was trying to merge with you - “Ya’ are so… Amazing.” - He said, with a big smile while backing away for one second - “I could lose myself… In those big ol’ eyes of ya’” “Then, why don’t you?” “I want to still be able to live with ya’, to feel you… Not only to observe but to be present. If I were to lose myself on ya’ every time, where would I have the time to show ya’ my whole forking affection?”

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As your husband… He would never let you without aftercare. He would clean you up and let you relax as he does all the work, he is never tired, not after the modifications… So he doesn’t really need a rest. When he came across you, he finally noticed how cute you were. Letting you rest and caressing your head, he would pick you up to the bath… He would take care of you just like you always did with him.

”Are ya’ okay, darlin’? Want something?” - He asked as he massaged your back while you relaxed at the bath - “Food, water… Anything?” “Hmmm… Juss… Keep this up.” - You would answer, almost sleeping. His massage skills have improved a lot since the first time he did it, it was incredible - “I’m so… Tired, I just want to sleep.” “Hah… Aren’t ya a sleepy one? Well, I can do that for you.” - Again, he would take care of you… Even if it means learning new skills, learning how to hold you while drying you with a towel, learning how to help you put on your clothes or to just lead you to the bedroom. Learning how to look at your face and control himself to not kiss you: You were tired, he should NOT make any move to start something more right now. Learning how to hug you, learning how to let his head rest on your shoulder… Learning how it feels to hear your heart, learning how good it is to sleep hearing it.

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As your Husband, you can always expect good things from him… But there was one thing you never expected. When he told you about his family. [Spoilers/Leaks ahead!!]  He was always so… Cheerful and silly while with you, you never DID expect to be meeted with such a cruel and terrifying backstory.  The way he told you about his family… About that little girl that he took care of, about his daughter. How she died… How he lost EVERYONE in one day. One day was enough.  He explained that… He truly felt like you could disappear if he didn’t try to make things right, if he didn’t protect you enough.

 When he stopped for a second, looked at his hands… You didn’t expect the words that followed: “I… Never thought I would find a family again or someone to care about me. Not in this condition, I…’m so forking grateful to have meeted ya’. Not one freaking day I passed without loving you even more.”

 “Darlin’, ya saw my bad sides… You saw how disgusting I look… And even so, ya still keep around… I don’t know why, I don’t even want to know why you stayed… In my head, it doesn’t matter why… I love you.”

“Sorry for that big talk, but ya know how I am sometimes;”

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As your husband and future Father, he would try to see if he could get you pregnant… If not, he would suggest adopting and then, you hitted him with an idea… That he loved: “What if we adopted kids from destroyed planets by the Ipc? Kids that live in shelters.” He knew, YOU were the one for him FOR SURE!

“Dove, you are a genius!” He would say, holding you and twirling you around - “I knew it! I knew it!... I knew that you were always the right one.”

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PAPA BOOTHILL!

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As a father, Boothill would probably adopt as many as he could. So I won’t tell you numbers exactly… But he would have a lot, he would be a total girl’s dad. Sweets, you could EVEN SEE: Boothill having their make-up done by the girls, playing with dolls with them, letting them play with his hair and the list goes on and on. You knew he would be a good dad and he exceeds your expectations. He would be so gentle and calm with the kids that many would think that he is another person: But you knew more than them. You would see him always playing, always making them laugh… And, of course: You would always be involved. It was NEVER always: “Just Dad and the Girls”, you were close. In any activity that you could participate in, the kids and Boothill were more than happy to have you around. The kids, some in 4~5, others newborns… Others almost or are teenagers, would be so happy playing and just studying with their papa.

”PAPA! MOMMA! LOOK!” - One of the oldest showed you their report card, they were an +A student - “I’m so so happy!! Are y’all proud of me?!” It was in a second, Boothill was holding the teenager - That he named Aponi - while screaming of happiness. “THAT’S MA GIRL! YOU SHOWED THAT FORKING PAPER WHO IS THE BOSS!” - He would cheer up with you. “We are so proud, Apo! You studied so much… You deserve a break… How about your favorite place for tonight? I know you wanted to go there.” “R-Really?! We can go!?” “Why, of course! You know that we just want your happiness more than anything… And, if that place makes you happy: It makes us happy too. Thank you for your hard work, Aponi… You did soo great!” “Yeah, gal, you deserve every compliment! But just so y’know… If you want something else, just ask me and I’ll buy it for ya.”

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As a father: He pampers his kids a lot… You could ask him to stop, but he wouldn’t. He has the money, the resources EVERYTHING to make this worth it… So he wants to, he wants - more than anything - to make this right.  He couldn’t pamper his daughter properly and he CAN’T handle the thought that he may not be able to pamper any of his kids. He NEEDS to pamper, he feels like an obligation.  Sometimes, you need to step up and try to put limitations on what he’s doing. He still needs to understand somestuff.

”Dear, you know that Kiona is only 5 months old, right? What’s she going to do with 8 pokemon’s plushies and those pokemon cards?”  “She likes watching it… So I bought it so when she grows up, she will still have those.”

...

“Dear… I told you not to buy more of those for Nashoba. He needs to take better care of his teeths and the doctor told us to control the candies.”  “I know, I know… But it was only one…” ... “Dear… Are you giving your credit card to a 12 year old?”  “WHAT- Nooo… She just wanted to buy things for herself like a big girl, but I’m going to be right at her side!”

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As a father: He wouldn’t scream at his kids… NEVER. He would never even raise a hand, he would always talk and make sure that they KNOW that this IS a safe place. If you do something wrong, he is going to take care of it… YOU all are going to take care of it together.  Even when his kid came across with a sad face while asking for forgiveness when they didn’t pass with all A+ and they started crying because they were scared that they would be sent alway… Boothill was hella mad but, right in front of his child, he would calm them, saying that they did their best and he would boost them up.  Telling them that their grades were awesome and that they were so intelligent. Boothill would concentrate on what he KNOWS his kids like and praise them for it…  As for the situation mentioned while you take care of the other children… He would have “a talk” with the kids' old parents.

”Booth-... Oh, I see.” You saw him, without any blood, but by his expression: You knew he killed them - “Are you okay?” “I’m better now… I discovered the whole scheme about those muddle-fudgers… They got what they deserved.”  “I’m proud of you.” - You said, holding his hand and letting his head fall into your chest - “Thank you for protecting our children…”

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As a father, you knew that Boothill would do anything for your kids. It didn’t matter if they were adoptive or biological, he would treat them the EXACT same. Of course, he would spend a lil’ bit more time with those who want to follow his path… But, he would never let the others feel jealous about that.  Not only this but he would also show the kids some skills he has. He would sing them songs, give them musical instruments if they are interested in… They would form a lil’ band together and you would be their singer.  The kids were in love with that idea, even the ones who weren’t interested in music would participate: Dancing, making drawings, outfits and etc etc etc.

”Ohhh! Those are so cute!” - Said March 7 looking at your kids drawings - “Your kids are so talented!”  The Astral Express became one of your kids favorite spots, even so that some of them want to become one.  The sweet look on Welt's face when one of them told him that they wanted to become just like him.  The look on Himeko’s face when one of the kids revealed that they didn’t like coffee until they tried hers.  The look on March's face when the lil’ girl called for her, saying that she loved March and that she would always appreciate the photos they took together.  The look on Dan Heng’s face when the quiet kid told him that they would love to be like him and take care of the databank.  The look on the Trailblazer’s face when one the kids helped them to search for trash cans and even complimented the trash cans with them.  The look on PomPom’s face when one the youngest said their name.  Oh, the Astral Express LOVES your kids. They let them enter ANY time and would love to babysit them.

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As a father, you knew that Boothill made them love you even more, you knew that by the way the kids asked about you guys' love life once they grew up. The more romantical ones would dream loudly about how they would wish to have a romance like that - making Papa Boothill notice how fast your kids were growing.  And, when you asked about who they wanted to be with… The answers came fastly. It was a big difference between other relationships, they were open with you two. They - YES - would tell if they were uncomfortable talking about something, but, even so… The ones who weren’t would tell you guys everything.

”I met this really cute boy at Xianzhou! He was soo cute!” - One of your kids said - “I thought to myself: They are so skilled and such a cute lil’ fellow.”  “Sis, you are younger than him.”  “Lemme praise him for a second!!”

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As a father, he was more than happy to have a family. He would be happy with just you… But with all of them, they remind him so much of his first daughter… Of his siblings. He, to himself, would wish that they could see him right now… And be sure:

”It took a while for me… But, now… I have a family again. My two families will always be together in my heart.”

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So, we reached the end! Hope you guys enjoyed it and that this made your day a bit brighter. As someone who sees Boothill as a comfort character, having people interested on my writting for him is such a nice touch. I can only thank you guys for your support and for reading until here. Thank you. If anyone wishes to be in the taglist for upcomming Boothill's oneshots, headcanons and imagines - Please tell me! And for those who wanted Angst, maybe I'll do the angst one someday <3

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Taglist: @spaeko, @4onlyyouruse.

[queenofapeacefuldawn]

SxF Crack Theory: The Identity Of [REDACTED]'s Father

Hear me out here.... but, maybe, Twilight's father could be Yuri's boss, aka, the SSS Lieutenant.

Now, this might be a crack/joke theory, but here is the evidence I have to back up my claim (yes, I'm presenting it because I'm just Like That):

(Warning: Manga spoilers ahead)

Exhibit A: Physical Characteristics

Here is a picture of Agent Twilight:

Here is a picture of Yuri's boss (who, from now in, will be referred to as YB, for my own convenience):

We can see that Twilight and YB have very similar facial characteristics: bluish-grey eyes, blond hair, and a similar face shape (nose, jaw).

We never see Twilight's father's full face: only the lower half, because he has presumably forgotten his face, along with his mother's (King of Emotional Repression™️), but we can see that his jawline and shape of his mouth are very similar to Adult Twilight.

Oh, and look at that- rather pronounced cheekbones, if I do say so myself. Where else did I see those? Hmmm

Exhibit B: Ambiguous Fate

During the War Arc, we're never told about [REDACTED]'s father's fate. We just know he never returns to his family: and the reason why he left for the very last time, was that, "Things have been heating up at the border. I need to take a little business trip." The fact that his, a (presumably) rather important man's, body was never recovered: nor were [REDACTED] or his mother informed of his death. Of course, his body could have been lost in the bombings, or the part of [REDACTED] finding out about his father's dead could have been omitted, but for most of the part, we're left to assume about his father's dead. And... this sounds familiar to another instance...

Like the instance of [REDACTED]'s friends. He (and we) assumed they'd died in the warehouse as children, but later we see that they're alive and in the army (only to die a second time, RIP), but this time, for their deaths to be confirmed: for [REDACTED] to only receive their dog tags after the failed campaign.

This may have been a setup: for Endo to reintroduce [REDACTED]'s father, later in the story, as YB.

Anyway, one thing I've learned after reading and watching so many books, comics, and TV shows: never assume a person's dead, not unless their body/proof of their death has been explicitly shown. This belief was only reinforced after [REDACTED]'s friends.

And, [REDACTED]'s father's last known place was around the Westalian-Ostanian border. He could have escaped in the crossfire, theoretically...

Exhibit C: Fatherly Nature (?)

We all love a good found-family dynamic in the workplace. It's there with WISE, it's there with Garden, and it's kinda there with the SSS.

My main argument about this stems from the chapter which focuses on Yuri's work.

We see YB continuously worry about Yuri's physical health, in panels like:

Obviously, this doesn't happen only in this chapter. Whenever Yuri's there, YB is also there, yelling at him to a) go to sleep, or b) STOP GETTING HIT BY BUSSES OH MY FUCKING GOD IT CAN'T HAPPEN SO MANY TIMES TO ONE PERSON-

And, of course, there's the Yuri Sick Fic chapter:

Not gonna lie, this point is extremely weak, if I brought this up in court I'd be laughed out of there-

Anyway, I just wanted to put this in.

If it does turn out that YB is [REDACTED]'s father then. Bestie. Buddy. How are you managing to be a better father-figure to some insolent kid who gets hit by busses than you were to your actual son, like 20 years ago. Maybe he learned along the way.

Exhibit D: Symbolism (???)

Oh, look, another point I'm pulling out of my ass! But whatever, you're reading it <3

During the War Arc, we see Twilight sustain two major injuries:

One, as a child, when his home is bombed:

And two, as an adult, in the army:

and these injuries are both to his left eye.

Of course, this has given rise to theories of him not being able to see his left eye, it being his blind spot, and Yor guarding his blind spot on missions, etc., etc., which I love bc ✨Twiyor✨

Getting back on point, if we look at YB, we see that he has injuries too... or rather, remnants of them, what with the scars he has...

which, are also on his left eye. Huh! Interesting... this might just be me, but could this be parallels to how similar he and his father were? Are? His father also wanted peace between Ostania and Westalis: but he taught his child that in a very harsh manner (by slapping him), but Twilight wants to teach Anya that in a kind manner. Whenever we see him teaching her, he never loses his cool with her (of course, he loses a lot of hope, but this man's a pessimist, what can we do).

Also shows how much kinder Twilight is, compared to his father.

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Of course, these points are very weak, and it might just be that Endo reused some character designs for efficiency, but let me be, ok!! This is a crack theory!!! Let me be a clown!!!! AKDFJSJF

If I'm being honest, this post was inspired by a convo I'd had with my friend, around the time Chapter 86 was released. She was theorizing that [REDACTED]'s dad is the Shopkeeper, and I was theorizing it was this dude. Of course, our theorizing was sidetracked by Chapter 86, and a certain panel within it, but... WHATEVER.

So, what are your thoughts? Obviously, my own theory is very weak (for example, why would the SSS accept a Westalian citizen into their ranks? Why would he even join the SSS? Could he have defected? Abandoned his wife and kid?), but this was fun to think about, lol. What are your theories? I think the Shopkeeper-is-the-dad theory and the YB-is-his-dad theory are both cool, so, what do you think?

(Also, yeah, I know, his dad could very well be dead. I just refuse to believe it, bc I'm just Like That <3)

[littlejuicebox]

Handmade

Pairing: Spawn Astarion x F!Reader/Tav Summary/Setting: Nine years post BG3 / You and Astarion are married; you now work as a Counsellor, Astarion handles your business investments. After a lot of hard work, the two of you have established quite a wealthy, wholesome life for yourselves. / If you're looking for more backstory and HCs for this version of AstarionxTav, check out my Highharvestide fics. Rating/Warnings: PG-13 / Holiday fluff / Sexual references / Maybe some mild in game spoilers Word Count: Notes: This is 4/5 "Days of Star-mas!"

I'm also entering this into the #BG3HolidayFluffle23 challenge under the prompt "gifts."

Click here to see my master list.

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Gift giving was, without a doubt, Astarion’s love language. He truly adored spoiling you with the most opulent things money could buy. A plethora of rare night blooming plants, ridiculously ornate gowns, a cabinet full of gem-encrusted jewelry, first editions of your favorite books (more than a few signed by the authors)… in truth, you’d been given it all. 

But well before this year’s Midwinter Banquet, just as the summer turned to autumn and the leaves in your back orchard were beginning to drop and kiss the earth, you explicitly told your husband you wanted something handmade this year. Something from the heart.

The vampire groaned at this stipulation. “Darling, I’ve got so many wonderful ideas. I’ve seen some beautiful dresses in the shops that would look wonderful on you. And a pair of earrings that would go beautifully with your eyes; just this morning I was in discussions with a horse breeder about purchasing you your very own riding horse since you seem to abhor the carriage… you just can’t be serious about this, my sweet.” 

“I am.” You’d responded, tone matter-of-fact, arms crossed, brow furrowed as you address your husband, “My love, we have everything. Everything we could possibly want and money to buy anything else we want or need, too. I’ve been given the most luxurious gifts for nine years straight… but I want something from the heart. I want something from my rogue. From the man that used to leave me flowers on my pillow at camp and steal me sweet rolls from the merchants. I know he’s in there, somewhere.” 

You step closer to your husband, peering deeply into his eyes like you’re searching for something lost deep within the pupil. Then you place your ear to Astarion’s chest and bring your hand up to knock on it. “Hellllooo? Rogue Astarion? Can you hear me in there?” 

Your love chuckles at your antics and grabs your hand, squeezing it tightly before planting a kiss on the knuckle. “Very well darling, have it your way. How could I say no?” 

You beam, overjoyed to have won this little debate. Then, for the next few months, the two of you sneak off to prepare your individual gifts for one another whenever you have a spare moment.

More than once in those few months, Astarion had rattled the door to your bedroom, threatening to pick the lock if you didn’t let him in that instant. You’d groan in frustration every time, quickly stow away your gift, and then rip open the door to roll your eyes at the pale elf. 

“It’s only been a few hours, Astarion. You interrupted me right when I was actually getting somewhere, do you know that?” You’d scolded, more than once. 

“Darling, it’s been several hours, not just a few. Why is it not possible for you work on your gift somewhere else? I need use of this room, too, you know. Unless this is somehow your way of telling me you’d like to sleep in separate rooms from now on, my sweet?” He’d challenged more than once, quirking his white eyebrow at you with a rakish smirk. Then he'd sweep into the room with a brief kiss to your temple and ready himself for bed or a bath.

“If I could work on it elsewhere, I would! But I can’t. You’ll see why.” You would always huff in response, wrinkling your nose impatiently at your husband. “And don’t pretend you’d be able to sleep a wink if you were made to lay in the guest chambers, Lord Ancunin. Don’t tempt me with any ideas.”

Astarion would sigh and dramatically roll his eyes at you, but continue to oblige your long stints alone in the bedchamber, nonetheless. He never mentioned that he only ever interrupted you when you exceeded more than six hours holed up in the bedchamber alone; even a vampire had to bathe and sleep at some point, after all. 

As for Astarion? He was regularly in the middle of meetings or reviewing contracts when you were working on your project, so his time had been allocated a bit differently. He would often prepare his gift while you slept… you’d always needed more sleep than he did. The vampire would slip out of bed and down into the parlor, where he would spend a few hours curled up in the sofa at work before cozying back up to you before you woke. 

Soon enough, it was time for the Midwinter Banquet. It was the Ancunin’s turn to host a dinner party; the Ravengards had just done Highharvestide, the Dekarioses had hosted Midwinter the year prior, and Lae’zel and Shadowheart lived a rather nomadic lifestyle that didn’t allow hosting parties. Technically, it should have been Karlach and Dammon’s first year to host, but as they were fresh newlyweds that had barely purchased a property that same month, you’d kindly offered them a pass.

As was typical for an Ancunin dinner party, the dining hall had been completely decked out by the staff. No surface was left untouched from the beautiful combination of candles, pine trimmings, and bunting you’d roped a reluctant Astarion into helping you string. You were quite proud of the bunting, which was handmade with dried oranges, cranberries, and touches of greenery. 

You were, as always, meandering about the dining room, far too fixated on the most minute details of the table settings. Astarion made his way over to you, as he did every time you hosted a party, to force you from your nervous habit of hyperfixation.

This year you were saddened to immediately notice the absence of Scratch as your husband entered the large wooden doors of the dining hall; the dog had passed that summer. Astarion, out of habit, flexed his fingers downward to make contact with the dog’s scruff, only to drag his fingers through the empty air. You’d seen this maneuver from your husband more than once, and as you watched him enter the dining hall, you made a mental note to find another furry companion soon. He’d never admit he was taking the loss quite hard. 

“Darling, it’s time for you to dress. And, it’s time for us to exchange presents before everyone arrives.” The vampire murmurs, taking your hand and pulling you from the dining hall and into the adjacent parlor, where your presents are sat underneath a tree adorned with baubles and more of that fruit-filled bunting you two spent an entire day crafting. 

You grab the small red and gold package sitting under the pine tree and grin, handing it to your husband. “Here, open mine first.” 

Astarion raises his eyebrow as he examines the package, giving it a little shake as he holds it to his ear. The package doesn’t make a sound, and he hums in idle curiosity as he undoes the red ribbon tied around the gift. You’re practically bouncing with excitement and anticipation as you watch him carefully undo the wrapping. 

“Just tear it!” You exclaim impatiently, and the pale elf chuckles at you and rolls his eyes before obeying your command and tearing the paper off the gift. 

Astarion is speechless as he stares down at the labor of your love. It’s a small painting, roughly the length and width of a book. The painting depicts you and… well, it must be him, cuddled in bed together. His arm is wrapped around your shoulder, and your hand is gripping the fingers dangling from that same arm. The two of you are laughing underneath the familiar maroon and gold bedspread always located on your four-poster bed. He’s in awe of the details: the little fangs in his mouth, his scarlet eyes and the glint within them, the pinprick scars on your neck, and the freckles along your arm. 

“Turn it over.” You whisper, watching as the vampire obliges with wet eyes.

On the back you’ve written: “My Favorite Place” in your delicate, flowing script. And as his scarlet eyes read the words, your husband loses his barely held composure, cold lower lip trembling as salty tears fall over his waterline. He tugs you into a crushing hug, placing repeated kisses in your hair, and you’re beaming because for once you’ve rendered the loquacious vampire speechless.

You’re teary eyed as well when you sniffle and pull away from Astarion. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to get it right. It’s taken me years, my love. I even snuck in lessons on my trips further into the city to meet with the other Counsellors or Wyll. But I hope you can see us how I see us, now.” 

Astarion nods slowly before placing the gift down on the end table, still overcome with sentimentality. He gives a soft chuckle as he wipes his own eyes and then yours. “Well, darling… now I’m quite worried my gift will pale in comparison, to be honest.” 

“Nonsense!” You promise, as you sit down on the sofa and hold your hands out expectantly. You’re bearing a child-like grin as you wiggle your fingers, bidding the vampire to continue on.

Astarion is nervous. You can see it in his crimson eyes and the twitching of his hands as he grabs the silvery package and gives it to you. His ears are flushed in that subtle way that only appears when he’s extremely embarrassed or aroused… though in this case, you’re quite sure it’s embarrassed. 

As you’re unwrapping the gift with much less care than your husband had unwrapped his, the elf in the midst of explaining himself away, “Darling if you end up not liking it, I’m more than happy to—“ 

But he’s interrupted by a thrilled gasp and ecstatic squeals as you lift a heavily embroidered blanket out of the plain wrapping box. 

“Astarion, how could I not love this? This is beautiful!” You exclaim, quickly opening the blanket and draping it over the couch to admire your husband’s stitch work, “I knew you were talented, my love… but I am blown away.” 

Astarion is beaming now, his ears completely red with some combination of embarrassment and excitement at your praise. He comes to your side and places a hand on your waist as the other one points to the bottom corner of the blanket before tracing up the width and then down the length in a repeated clockwise motion. 

“It’s… it’s symbolism, my darling. Of our love story.” He explains in a still-nervous whisper. 

You move closer to examine the piece and your eyes pick out bits of embroidered details between the floral filigree; you notice you recognize many of the plants from your own night blooming garden. As you move in the direction Astarion pointed, you note several obvious points of symbolism: a dagger, stars and a campfire, glasses of wine, that familiar forest clearing lit up by the moon, his old hand mirror, Lathander’s Mace (he’d conveniently left out the fallen crèche he’d saved you from), Moonrise Towers, the Warding Bond rings you two now kept in a jewelry box upstairs… on and on and on.

You follow the story all the way to the center, where there is a beautiful design of the sun, moon, and stars. At first, you think this is in reference to his proposal, but then you realize it would be in the wrong order. You can't quite figure out the meaning.

Your fingers stroke those center celestial stitches, the only pieces done in shimmering gold and silver thread. “And what does this symbolize, my love?” 

Astarion shifts slightly on his feet, fingers still flexing with anxiety. Your brows furrow as you look from the piece to your husband, wondering why he’s still so nervous when you clearly love the gift. He inhales sharply and bends down, putting his hand in the forgotten gift box that you’d all but tossed aside in your excitement. He pulls out a smaller piece of fabric. It's an infant’s blanket. 

You feel your heart stop in your chest as the vampire slowly unfolds the tiny blanket to reveal a beautiful scene of the sun, moon, and stars all done in that same gorgeous, shimmery thread. 

“My love, I… well, I think it might be time that we consider expanding the family. And Gale seems to be making great strides with the Wish Spell preparations and it seems that might be a real possibility soon and—“

You interrupt your husband’s explanation, crashing your warm lips into his cold ones, and he’s knocked off balance, forced to collapse into the sofa by the weight of your body careening into his. When you pull away from him, both of you are grinning like idiots and slightly flushed at the mere thought of such an impossible possibility. You simply give the vampire a little nod, and then break into delighted laughter, soon joined by him. 

Your husband kisses you softly, and then leans towards your ear, voice dropping into that devilish murmur. “How much time do we have before the party, darling? Perhaps we’ll do a test round before we dress. I would like the two of us to be well practiced when the time comes.” 

You smirk at the vampire when he pulls away from you, his face wearing that irresistible cocked eyebrow and a glimmer of playfulness in his scarlet eyes. You press a finger to your lips and feign humming as if in thought. “I think we might have time for one practice round… if you can catch me, that is.” 

“Why you little—” 

You don’t hear the rest of Astarion’s scolding, but you feel his fingers narrowly miss the curve of your hip as he tries and fails to grasp you. You’re off like a bow shot from an arrow, speeding out of the parlor and down the hall toward your bedchamber, swerving around the poor maid with a shouted apology. You’re grinning as you run down the hallway, thinking that for once you won this little game you liked to play with your love. But then Astarion is snapping his arms around your waist just as your hand reaches for the bedroom doorknob, and you’re laughing boisterously as the two of you crash into the bedroom and onto the bed. 

It isn’t until the maid is knocking on the door roughly thirty minutes later, announcing the arrival of the ever-timely Duke Ravengard, that the two of you hurriedly dress and rush out to greet your guests. Your friends would have been none the wiser, too, if it hadn’t been for the little love bites slowly blooming across your chest throughout dinner. Astarion brimmed with hedonistic delight, and perhaps a bit of subtle pride, as everyone slowly realized what you two had been doing moments before the party and tried with all their might to politely avert their eyes.

Sure, you two had been a bit naughty just before everyone arrived… but hells, if it hadn’t been exceptionally nice.  

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

Chapter 5: The Man, The Myth, The Legend

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV

Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy.  This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter five of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)

Word Count: 2.5K

Warnings: References to sex, Cursing (a few times), Drinking, Drug Use, Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, a little OOC, Possible spoilers for season three.

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics

Main Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Present Day

"Hey'ya Kitten!" Legend smiles wide when he opens the front door of his apartment. "Where have you been baby? How's retirement?" He leans forward for a kiss and you turn your cheek to the side.

Always the flirt.

"Exciting. Is it alright if I come in?"

"Of course! I always have time for my favorite hero." He ushers you into his home.

It was one day after Agent Butcher and Hughie had dropped by your apartment looking for information on Soldier Boy. One sleepless night later you realized that the only way you were going to find Countess was through Legend. And despite his flirtatious attitude, you liked your former handler.

The apartment looks the same as it always has. Memorabilia from what he thought was the good old days hangs on the walls, a black leather couch sags in the center of the living room, and a red faded high backed armchair stands in the corner like a silent guardian. The smell of old cologne, pot, and alcohol soaks through the air and into your nose as you turn to examine the inhabitant.

Legend looks decidedly older. Sometimes you forgot that you didn't age the same way other people did, but then you'd meet someone from the past and it would remind you all over again. He's wearing the same smoking jacket with patched elbows, sunglasses, and ascot, that you saw him wearing over ten years ago. But Legend was classic.

"You hurt my feelings by not calling." He breezes having a seat on one of the couches, and fluffing more of the offensive smell through your nose, but you don't make a face. "What's it been ten years?"

"Something like that." You smile tightly and sit down on the armchair.

It wasn't that you didn't like seeing Legend. He might have been a crazy son of a bitch, but he was a good handler. He knew everything about everyone and he helped you get through Ben's death, not to mention he helped you create your new life when you broke away from Payback.

"You want some?" Legend holds out a mirror where a single white line of cocaine sits. "Or are you still sober?"

"I never did cocaine. And yeah, I'm still trying to stay on the wagon."

"Don't know how you do it."

"Me either." You say it partly to yourself, because it was true. You didn't know how you got through the past 40 years without a drink. Before, it wasn't that you partied as hard as Ben or the others did. It was more the drinking than drugs you imbibed in. Yes, you'd smoked the occasional blunt, but you didn't want to lose control if you tried anything stronger. You didn't like losing control, you prided yourself on keeping it together.

Ben had lost control more than once, and each time he'd show up at your apartment just like he had when he was a kid and he was hiding from his father, falling asleep beside you like nothing had changed. You never understood how he could be so vulnerable when it was just the two of you, but when he was in public he was different. Sometimes you hated that, because in those quiet moments you saw the boy you fell in love with, but when you were out in public you saw the man he became.

You remember all the times he lost control. The worst was when he threw a car through a house when trying to stop some kids in the street and killed an older man. Ben hadn't gone to the funeral, but you had. You sat on the back pew and watched the family mourn. Only a little boy in the front row had noticed you, and you had offered a kind smile, before walking back through the streets and leaving an envelope of cash in the family's mailbox. You knew the money couldn't replace the person they lost, but you couldn't think of anything else to do.

"So, are you here because you want to come out of retirement?" Legend snorts the line on the mirror without looking up. "Might be a good thing."

You laugh to yourself. "I like retirement too much to go back to Vought. Too wild out there nowadays with the supervillains and all that Compound V bullshit." You lean back in the armchair, crossing your legs in front of you.

"I could make you a star!" He looks up at you. "You're still as sexy as ever."

"And you're still a dirty old man." You tease, rolling your eyes at him and earning a chortle from Legend.  "I don't think my powers are cutesy enough for television. I’m not like Starlight.” You snort thinking about the current blonde member of The Seven that had become America’s Sweetheart, a title that you were happy you never wore.

"Who said anything about your powers babe? It's all about the body."

"Legend-"

"Fine, fine." He shakes his head. "I saw your last art show, very nice. Bought something for the country house."

"That's very kind of you." You smile with pride. Your last show had been a series you titled "Moods of the Forest," which meant that you had camped out under the stars for a solid month up North drinking in the silence of the woods. It was a nice way for you to clear your head and catch up on your reading, but it had done little to ease the thoughts of the past. "Those were some of my favorites. It was hard to part with them."

"You're very talented." He compliments.

"Thank You. I'd hope so. I've been painting for almost 90 years." Your memory flashes back to when Ben gave you paint for your birthday and the months that followed as you practiced. All the days you spent painting in the park and along the streets of Philadelphia, sometimes with Ben following behind and teasing you, but you knew he loved how much you were painting, loved how much you enjoyed the gift. The happiness and warmth of the memories is doused by a bucket of cold water as you remember the last time you saw him. The echo of the last words you spoke to him and the words he shouted at you ringing in your ears.

The chill sobers you and makes you remember why you were here talking to Legend.

"I have something important to ask you." You look up at Legend. "Do you know where Crimson Countess is?"

Legend doesn't answer immediately. The spike of his pulse with the mention of Countess' name is loud in your ears. "Did you want a scotch? I think I need one." He avoids your gaze.

"Legend-"

He stands from the couch and moves over to the table in the corner that has a collection of multicolored bottles that you wish you could drink from, but you restrain yourself. You hear the sound of the glass being poured and as he turns he takes a sip as if rousing the courage to tell you.

"Y/n if this is you finally going after her, now might not be the best time." He swirls the glass in his hand, the amber liquid sloshing against the sides. "I thought you were past all that-"

"It's not like that I-“  Your lips press together in a tight line, considering your next words. "Some men came to my apartment the other day looking for me. They were asking me about Ben."

"You told them you were dead right? The story we came up with?" Legend looks worried.

"Yeah. Don't think they bought it." You shrug.

"Did they give you their names?"

"They said they were with the CIA. Agent Butcher and a guy named Hughie-"

"Butcher? Dark hair, British accent, asshole?" Legend's glass pauses half-way to his mouth.

"Yeah. How did you-"

Legend sighs. "He used to be with the CIA, was on a task force that was used to hunt down supes. I helped them find a few over the years."

"Hunt them down?"

"Butcher's got a bone to pick with supes. Homelander especially." Legend sits back on the couch nursing his scotch.

At the mention of Vought’s most popular hero you pause. You didn’t know too much about Homelander, just that he emerged as Vought’s Golden Boy a few years after Ben died and he was supposed to be indestructible. You wondered if he was as indestructible as you.

“Homelander?”

“Did something to his wife.” Legend waves a hand like it doesn’t matter. "But they were asking you about Soldier Boy?"

"Yeah, they wanted to know about the relationship I had with him and how he died-" You foot taps against the ground, fighting the urge to pour yourself a drink.

Legend looks worried. "Maybe you should get out of town for a few days-"

"What?"

Can Butcher really be that dangerous? He didn't seem like much the other day and I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be able to handle me. Most supes couldn't.

"Not because of Butcher, he's a dick, but I mean everything with Soldier Boy." Legend takes a sip from the glass. "If you start thinking about him again, you're going to be in the same place you were last time."

Deep down you know he's right, ever since Butcher and Hughie showed up on your doorstep, Ben was all you thought about. The hole you dug yourself into when you and Ben fought and then he died was deep and dark, and it was already beginning to open under your feet.

You didn’t know if talking to Countess would help close it, but maybe you needed closure, maybe you needed to hear it from her how he died. The last thing you wanted was to go to Stan Edgar. He'd already shown up once, but you thought you had convinced him with your story. Occasionally he would show up to one of your art shows, browsing through the canvases, and asking you about the inspiration of them. You never liked when he showed up in your life, because after all these years he hadn't changed, he was still a snake obsessed with power and being on top.

"I know." You sigh, clutching your hands together in your lap. "But I want to talk to her. Maybe it's time. There was always something that unsettled me about how Ben died and she's the one who saw it. Plus Noir isn’t very talkative these days, Gunpowder is dead, and I’d rather drink cyanide than listen to those two TNT idiots.”

Learning that Gunpowder was dead was a shock. You'd lost contact with him, but you thought it was suspicious that he died so soon before Butcher and Hughie came to see you. You knew that Gunpowder was still doing his rounds in the gun expos and conventions, boasting about the good all days and preaching about the dangers of gun control.

It was ironic for him to be against it when you'd personally seen him kill several people who pissed him off and for no good reason.

If anything he shouldn't be allowed near a gun.

When you knew him he was still a kid, but even then he was already adopting the ridiculous macho attitude that Ben had.

Must have stuck.

"I still don’t think it's a good idea." Legend finishes his glass of Scotch. "But let me find it.

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me kitten. I don't think I'm doing you a favor." He grunts moving through the apartment, while your eyes trace the photos. Several of them were of Ben at movie premieres, another showed the whole Payback team, and finally just Ben and Legend. He was wearing his ridiculous helmet, the one you used to tease him about. You always thought it was a shame that they covered up his handsome face.

You had a box of photos under your bed that held similar images, but most of yours were of Ben and you not wearing your supe suits. The ones from your childhood needed to be handled with care, but you enjoyed looking at them, before you saw the hardness in Ben's eyes and the set of his jaw. Those early photos showed you the boy you fell in love with.

"Here." He hands you a slip of paper that holds his untidy scrawl as you stand from the chair.

"Thank you." You turn to go, but stop. "Should I be worried about Butcher?"

"I'd stay out of his way. He kills supes for fun."

"But if Ben's already dead then what does he want?"

Legend shrugs. "Can't be good."

"Great."

"Just be careful." Legend puts his hand on your shoulder. "I know that everything that happened with Soldier Boy really threw you-"

"I know. But I have to know. I have to hear what she has to say." You sigh looking up at him. It touched your heart that he cared so much. Legend never got close to his clients in the past, but for some reason he was always more willing to help you. It was him that talked you out of the hole when Ben died.

"Okay."

"It was good to see you. Take care of yourself." You try not to see the weariness in his eyes, the way the wrinkles have grown and stretched over the years, how the gray of his hair has spread. One listen with your supe hearing meant that you could hear his blood pumping through his veins, but it wasn’t at the same vigor as it once was. It was difficult to see age on the people you knew, the day that you and Ben both figured out that you weren't aging anymore had been bittersweet. You were happy that Ben wouldn’t die either, but it meant you’d lose your family. However, Ben’s inability to age meant that you weren't alone.

You frown to yourself. Sometimes you’d thought that meant something, that the universe finally threw you a bone and it was some cosmic sign that you and Ben were supposed to be together-

What a crock of shit.

But despite his death the past few years you hadn't been alone even though you had expected it.

"Good to see you too kitten. Don't be a stranger."

When you finally make it to the street below, you kick your leg over your motorcycle, but pause.

I could just go home and work on my pieces for my next show. Go home and pretend those men never showed up and forget all about Ben. The guilt and anger that rises with his name is familiar, but you brush it away. This might be the only chance I have of finding out what happened to him. You think about Countess and the scrap of paper in your pocket. But it won't be easy.

Thank you so much for reading! Likes and reblogs are always appreciated, but not required. Please let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist for this series :)

Taglist: @roseblue373 @anundyingfidelity @cheynovak @cassiecasluciluce @muhahaha303

@deans-spinster-witch @kayleighmeister

[sleepiestwizard]

okay im gonna put all my thoughts about the hotguy zinethology on here based on the incoherent ramblings my friends received while i was reading it

(obviously spoilers below the cut)

okay so first of all the first part was SO fucking funny i cried laughing multiple times

the first time i saw cute guy i SCREAMED

HOTGUY TRYING TO GET CUTEGUY TO JOIN HIS UNION AND GRIAN JUST GOING. NAH. WAS SO FUNNY

@cornpapers draws scar SO pretty

mumblr is SUCH a funny name 10/10

the "dont you think cuteguy and hotguy having matching names and outfits is queerbaiting" post is SO FUNNY

THE GRIANVERSE

SHE'S HERE !!!!!!! ARIANA GRIANDE !!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY. GRIAN LOOKS LIKE THE SAD HAMSTER

REALLY GOOD PANEL

this whole comic was so funny i loved it loved the cub

THE EMAILS PART WAS ALSO SO FUNNY

this is such an interesting and fun way to tell a story i loved the email part

in general the posts and stuff were SO funny and very realistic for the internet 😭

yeah

grian desperately trying to not let scar reveal his identity 😭😭 girl (this also hits so different now after reading the whole thing btw.)

the comparison to a wild horse in this first fic also killed me

i can't really put a lot of images but there were some really classic superhero comic looking panel that i thoroughly enjoyed

scar tangled in his own grappling hook. classic. very funny

I LOVED THIS FIC SO MUCH. scar voice this is gonna ruin the tour. grian voice what tour. scar voice the world tour.

scar saying he's playing volleyball. haikyuu reference!?!?!?

just putting this here

LOVEDDDD THIS GEM DESIGN

moon mask i immediately called pearl yes pf course

GRIAN REFUSING TO SHOW EACHOTHER THEIR IDENTITIES AGRHRGRHRVH

"you and your cuteguy" arggrgrhsggrgrhgr

murder camel REAL !!

I DIDN'T TRUST THIS FOR A SECOND. PEARL AND HER SOUP I DONT BUY IT

"i cant believe you guys fucking killed jimmy solidarity" <- actual message i sent to mochi

SCOUR KNOWING SCARS NAME. AGRHSGRHRGRHV

i literally had to Go Take A Walk after this fic

i really like how the pearl thing was resolved in this it felt like such a good act 2 reoccurring villain exit. very superhero comic/movie like or even dnd like

'vincent berger' made me laugh

ZEDDIT

MOCHI FIC !!!!

first off every single fic has SUCH a cool cover i love them all

poor grian has ptsd :((

i LOVEEE how mochi writes angst always they're so good at it

the fact that he never found jimmys body immediately made me call the fact that he wasn't really dead and would come back btw

gem would lovee to drive grian slowly crazy tbh

"IVE COME TO PICK UP MY BIRD" AGRHRGRHGRHRVRBTBJRG

JUST LOOK AT THAT GREAT BIG BEAUTIFUL TOMORROW !!!!!!!

i was going insane at this point

this whole zine had me feeling like that meme thats like first i laughed.. then i serioused (the first part was SO funny and then golden era was psychic damage /pos)

IMPULSE :D

GEMPEARL <33 they are so everything to me

SCAR WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE SUSPICIOUS POSSIBLY EVIL FOREIGN TECHNOLOGY ON YOUR BODY. SIR.

NOT THE DESTIEL MEME

they look SO fucking cute

both scar and grian look sooooo scrumptious in this comic argh

THE MIND CONTROL. THE. RHE MIND CONFNTOL.

THESE 2 FULL PAGES ARE ABSOLUTELY SO INSANE. I WAS AND STILL AM FOAMING AT THE MOUTH

THIS IS SO. GOD THIS

THE WAY GRIAN JUMPED AND SCAR JUMPED AFTER HIM. THEYRE CRAZY !!!!!!!

THE WIPING THE BLOODY NOSE AND THEN SMILING LITERALLY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE TOOK THE MASK OFF

mumbo <3

THE HUG. ☹️☹️☹️

great big beautiful tomorrow :((( the parallels :((

GRIAN BEING TOO FLUSTERED BY SCAR KINDA FLIRTING THAT HE DIDN'T REALISE HE WAS DROPPING HINTS ABT HIS IDENTITY WAS SO FUNNY

cutiebird..

scar playing w his hair when cuteguy was hurt :(( so cute

REALLY FUNNY

THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS ☹️☹️

the tcg voice: theyre holding hands.. i want them dead

SKIZZ !!!!

ETHO !!!!!!!!!!

awhh skizzly :((((

THIS IS SO UPSETTING

"It's our Impulse, Gem" IM SO UPSET SHUT UP

god the way she puts on the mask and immediately is emotionless im gonna throw up

OBSESSED. THEY'RE EVERYTHING TO ME

im so obsessed w this cuteguy i love him

grian voice omg im the only bitch serving cunt in this place im so embarasseddddd

they are serving SO much in this comic

ETHO EYHO ETHO ETHEO

SCAR APPOINTING GRIAN AS LEADER. EARURGRHVRH THEY'RE EVERYTHING

READING THIS WAS SO CRAZY IT LITERALLY FELT LIKE WATCHING ENDGAME

JIMMY SOLIDARITY !!!

MUMBO JUMBO !!!!!

impulse thinking about skizz as he's dying :(((((

HE DID IT ALL FOR SKIZZ :(((((((((

i was so upset this made me sob like a baby

SOUP GROUP :(((

SKIZZLY!!! :(((

warden :/

SCAR PEARL INTERVIEW :( HOTGUY RETIRING :( I LOVE THEM

THE CHEMICAL MUTATING PEOPLE IS JUST ESTROGEN BEING A GIRL JUST DOES THAT TO YOU

grian and scar playing volleyball is that a haikyuu reference....

OH THIS PEARL IN THIS COMIC IS REALLY GOOD

cuteguy is so spiderman coded

GREAT BIG BEAUTIFUL TOMORROW !!!!!! WE'VE COME FULL CIRCLE !!! SOBBING !!!!

god all in all this was so crazy. it was such an obvious labour of love and everyone who was involved with it did such a good job and obviously put so much love into it AND IT WAS WORTH IT !!!! insanely good work thank you to everyone for doing this and sharing it for free?? @hotguycomiczine y'all are crazy. incredible work <333

[cyandreamz]

❁Pearl Fey and Trucy Wright hanging out❁

Today I finished this drawing and honestly, I love it so much! makes sense since I drew most of this with my left (main) hand (used right hand for a good chunk of the sketch to help maintain being somewhat ambidextrous) and, got to use an art medium I haven't used in almost a year, after buying some cheap alcohol markers (cheaper than sharpie's cheap) a few weeks ago.

(rest of post has minor spoilers for AA2-5, mostly AA4-5 but I do mention very minor spoilers for AA2-3)

I've been wanting to draw Pearl for a while, especially after seeing her in the DD DLC case (which is my fave case from DD) but than on the 18th I read this fanfic by Samioli and, it was so cute! It made me want to draw Pearl even more! To clarify this isn't fanart of the fic (idk if I ship Pearl and Trucy but I do see them as childhood bffs) but, I do hc Pearly as lesbian thanks to the fic and, I still wanted to recommend it cuz it's such an amazing fic and, it motivated me to draw Pearly hanging out with Trucy.

okay now back to talking about the drawing XD. I decided to re-design both girl's hair-do's and I'm very glad I did. I like Trucy's canon hair but as mentioned in this post I originally thought her official sprite had a bob, and now that I drew her with a bob I think I might continue doing so! Also I don't think she has an ahoge in canon but, I think it suits her so I will always give her one :3 (Edit, turns out she does have an ahoge and it's even cuter that the one I gave her so in future I will draw her with her canon ahoge)

As for Pearl, I dislike that her model in DD basically is just a taller version of her child sprites in AA2-3, so after making some thumbnails on a different page of hair-do ideas, I decided on a hairstyle that's similar to her canon hair-do but, more interesting imo, especially since I made the braids heart shaped on purpose cuz it references her love of romance (very on the nose, but being on the nose is kinda on brand for AA).

I also had a lot of fun designing these outfits for them both! Trucy's bag is of course a playing card and I picked 8 of diamonds cuz she has a diamond motif in canon and, was adopted by Phoenix when she was 8! Her jeans also have a two patches, one of her first daddy's hat/her hat when she was a child and a bunny, cuz that's magic related and cute lol. Also gave her a bracelet that kinda references Apollo but kinda doesn't, because it's on the wrong arm (didn't want it to crowd the hand holding pose!) and it's sliver because I didn't want to add yellow to the colour pallet :P

Pearl's outfit was loosely inspired by fairy-kei fashion as I feel like Pearl would enjoy Fairy-kei and Yumekawaii but not strictly follow a jfashion style. I also gave Pearl glasses. Not only make her look more unique compared to her canon child design but also, cuz AA doesn't have enough characters with glasses imo and I think they look super cute on her! I did consider giving her heart lenses but, I think that might be over doing the heart motif so I made them round instead :P

[talas-first-lady]

Additional Wynonna Earp Vengeance thoughts

This is going to be all the spoilers. You have been warned.

First of all, things that brought me a lot of joy:

The first scene up until things went bad. Nedley. Mercedes. Being buddies. Everything Mercedes was wearing including her monogrammed fanny pack of fishing lures.

Mercedes being like “the face. Kill me if you must but do not harm the face.” And hey, props to Mina for listening?

Bunny Loblaw cameo. The woman just gets better every time.

Any and all Wayhaught physical activity.

The entire Wynonna and Doc intro in Tombstone. That was just pure 100% Wynonna perfection.

“No we will NOT be redoing those stairs. They are very important to me for reasons.” - Nicole Haught

Every comment from Wynonna about how drunken brawling is actually precisely what Mercedes would have wanted at her wake (although I think Mercedes would have wanted more male strippers tbh).

I am typing this as I walk my dogs and we just passed a gold penis-shaped piece of confetti on the sidewalk outside a bar. Mercedes Gardner: never truly gone.

There was some quality Earp sister time that I did enjoy although it was slightly off (see Waverly discussion).

I am very much not up on current music so I didn’t get 100% of the references but Doc talking to Waverly about Megan Thee Stallion is what I came for.

Wistful comment about friend from Arizona. Thank you, Doc. Sorry your new bf was a tool.

The conversation between Wynonna and Nedley at the cemetery was perfect and should have happened years ago.

The fact that no one for a moment doubted that the three people Wynonna loves most are Waverly, Alice… and Nicole. I will be a Wynnaught shipper till the day I die.

Wynonna going to hell was pretty badass.

Nedley hitting hellhounds with his truck.

No pyramid schemes!

Now for the complaints.

At no point did they convince me that Mina was actually worse than all the demons they’ve faced before. Really? Sure, she doesn’t follow Revenant rules, but they’ve dealt with Bulshar. She does not remotely compare.

I also didn’t really buy the backstory stuff: Wynonna trying to impress a bunch of mean girls by summoning a demon for them? Taking them to the homestead at all? None of that felt true to her. I also don’t know why the group home girls were just suddenly back in Purgatory. (Also Dawson’s Freaks is the STUPIDEST.)

I think maybe Mina would have worked with a full season of build-up, but this was just not enough time.

I’m really pissed off about Mercedes surviving everything just to be murdered as a plot device. I love her, ok? She deserves better.

I am less pissed about Doc because I think they handled it decently - one last epic shootout, burying him in the spot where he wanted to raise Alice, the symmetry with burying Dolls (on the same hill, I think?), letting him come to terms with aging and dying. But it was so unnecessary. And so rushed: we never got to see anyone’s reaction but Wynonna’s (and Jeremy’s wildly out of character non-reaction). He was such an important character and we never got to say goodbye properly.

Not enough Jeremy.

Nicole’s attitude towards Wynonna up until that big don’t tell Waverly moment just made me so sad. I love their dynamic. I don’t know what happened.

In general, it felt like Nicole majorly backslid.

Biggest problem, though: Waverly. And I’m going to be upfront here and say that I was never as enamored with Waverly as a lot of people are. But I did like her and this didn’t feel like Waverly.

I think it’s fantastic that Dom has come out and become more comfortable in their skin and that they didn’t force them back in the girly Waverly box for this.

But I think they changed too much. Physically, the hair, the nose ring, the tattoos, the wardrobe choices (the wifebeater? The bolo tie?). But there was also her behavior. Jumping into a bar fight aggressively after relatively minor provocation was a lot. There was nothing of the light, bubbly Waverly left aside from a craft room. It just felt like part of her died. Like something happened over those 5 years that traumatized her worse than the stuff we actually witnessed. And Nicole being so unconcerned about it.

Anyway, that’s most of it?

[msmargarita]

✨🤓Johnathon/🕳️ Spot Headcanons✨

These are some headcanons I wrote for my two fics:

i'm not going to turn into a cosmic anomaly and leave you forever

and

i'm really serious this time, baby

It has !!spoilers!! for both of those fics!

It's basically an AU unless I somehow foresaw the future and guessed what happens in BTSV!

Beware the keep reading button. This is HUGE.

🤓 Johnathon HCs!

HE IS A GEMINI. Like come on. Talks a lot, nerdy, silly guy. He is a canonically silly guy! In his first fight with Miles he pretends to have hurt his nose (he doesn’t have one) to trick him. So silly! I would bet there's Capricorn somewhere in there too. And Pisces. I’ll make this man’s whole birth chart if you dare me. Just dare me. I’m insane.

Jason Schwartzman used to be in a band in the 00s. I think it would be cool if Johnathon also had some sort of interest in music. I think he would have tried to learn guitar in college but only got a few chords in before life got too chaotic and every now and then he thinks of picking it back up. 

He is also one of those guys who fanboys over old ass music, especially from the 60s and 70s. Loves Jazz, Funk and Prog Rock. Look at this man and tell me he is not a prog rock guy. He is a nerd, he might even be *shudders* a math rock guy. I also think he would have one completely random favorite artist that has nothing to do with the things listed above, like, idk Lizzo. Or Princess Nokia. He just looks like the type.

I think everyone agrees Johnathon is at least in his thirties, but I put him down as thirty-three in the end. I did that because Olivia is thirty-five tops in ITSV (according to Peter) and since he was her subordinate it makes sense that he would be just a little bit younger than her. 

“But hey! That's too young to get a PhD!” you might say, but I think Johnny is an overachiever. I think he was one of those super genius kids that got in early in college and lived for academia. A teacher's pet even.

He is a workaholic, so when he quits his job he gets really lost and doesn't know what to do with himself. He might have a new job soon doing what he loves, so you’re going to need to be on his ass so he doesn’t fall back into his old habit of overworking. 

I like to think that Miles would get an internship under Johnathon a few years in the future and they would learn a lot together. Jonathan would probably take a week to figure out he is Spider-Man and would cover for him when the boy needs to disappear. This actually sounds like a fun drabble to write about.

Johnathon may be a genius, but like he said, he is not too familiar with relationships. I think he might've had one or two in the past, but everything slowed down when he started working at Alchemax. “I’ve been told” is referring to those past relationships, in which he was probably told that he works too much and never has time to spend with his partners. He’s not been with anyone for a long time and his game consists of buying the first comic book he saw on a shelf in order to ask you out.

But that doesn't mean he is cold. Quite the opposite really, Johnathon is very touchy-feely. He hasn't been with anyone for a while and misses touching and being touched. He is most comfortable when being at least 70% curled around you. 

He smokes Dunhill Carltons (he likes to feel fancy), but less now that he isn't as stressed from work. Like he said, he used to go on walks to smoke and pass by the comic book store you work at before you guys had even met. I like to think he developed a little crush back then.

Had his tattoos done in college, so they are very faded now. He doesn’t think of redoing them because the mere thought of having to stay seated for hours in the same place feeling pain stresses him out. He was a lot more easygoing when he had them done.

He did have a superhero phase when he was a kid. He would fantasize a lot about having superpowers and flying away when the bullies showed up. Never thought about fighting back. Before becoming the Spot, he wasn't the confrontational type. The hero thing fizzled out as he grew older, but he would always dream about being stronger. Being a better version of himself in a kinda superficial, but understandable way.

He still has a bunch of action figures, he thinks they look cool. If you give him one, he won't even care if he knows the character or not, he just likes them.

Even though Johanthon says he is “good-looking”, he does add “for a scientist” in the end. I think he tries to mask his insecurities with humor, always putting himself down with a joke, always saying he’s too old, too corny, too nerdy. In the back of his head he knows the hair and the glasses are kind of a look, but he doesn’t feel handsome. You help as much as you can, but that’s an obstacle for him to overcome by himself. I think after i’m really serious this time, baby he gets better at this.

🕳️ The Spot HCs!

For clarification: the story of i’m not gonna turn into a cosmic anomaly and leave you forever stretches the plot of ATSV to a few weeks instead of a day. Just think of it like Spot taking a little longer to power up instead of a few hours.

Since he was forced to do crime to survive, I think he would've thought to himself: "Well, since I have to go rob a store anyway, might as well be that one where that cute cashier works at." 

Yes, Spot starts tracking and following you after you two meet. He uses his computer nerd powers for evil. A very unhealthy way of dealing with a crush, I think.

Spot can eat but he doesn't get any nutritional value from food. When you drink wine together or when he burns his tongue (?) from tea it's just a placebo effect. I like to think that Johnathon's mind is still inside The Spot's body, so he eats just for habit. He says he gets hungry all the time, but it's actually a deep need to consume everything around him. The little rascal.

As he powers up, Spot gets more confident in himself. He thinks the stronger he gets the further away he gets from Johnathon, his old self. Which, in the end, turns out to be true.

I think at first you don't really believe Spot is an actual supervillain which is why when you see him after the fight in Mumbattan it's such a shock. In a way, you did the same thing Miles did when he underestimated him, even if for whole different reasons. I think even though he knows you care about him, Spot knows you don't see him as a threat and that makes him want to impress you more. 

Spot knows that the reason you keep getting new jobs is because his own crazy supervillain life keeps interfering with yours, so he tries to keep it as much hidden from you as possible. He thinks what you don’t know can’t hurt you! As Johnathon, he feels guilty at first that you’re changing your whole life to go with him to New Jersey, BUT this time it was your choice! Not because of supervillain shenanigans!

He does love you (even if it was too early to know) and wants to be with you, but his head is so lost in the supervillain game, he thinks he can’t stop now. You never really realized how serious he was about “being stronger”. Which is why you never tried to stop him.

I chose I’d Rather Be With You as a theme song because I think it’s a song Johnathon/Spot would enjoy. But I also like how the lyrics match both their feelings towards you, in both fics. He wants to fly away with you once he gets all powered up, he loves your smile, etc. He does want to be your friend until the end as the Spot, but as Johanthon he is really committed to work on his bad habits in order to be with you. We gon' make it this time, baby! I cry, damnit. 

It’s also a surprisingly gender-neutral song, with no physical descriptions in it! Anyone can put themselves in the lover's place. Bootsy Collins is cool like that.

I like to think that, in the end, Spot didn't erase himself from the timeline. He just reloaded an old save. Does that make sense? Like you said, your relationship will always have happened, just in an old, non existent dimension. And since Johnathon and you still get dreams and deja vu about the whole thing (think of it as dimensional residue or whatever), you do have all the EXP of the old save. Johnathon, after going through the literal end of all existence and then forgetting about it, feels something compelling him to finally take a chance and enter the comic book store. It’s like when your body goes through something and it remembers later, even if your mind doesn't. Here's a (hopefully) comprehensive timeline:

the end.

Thank you for taking an interest in my weird AU! I would kill for you 💖

[mar3ggiata]

professional help, c25. Kitchen confidential.

simon riley x original character.

trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, mentions of rape, trauma, sexual themes, swearing, use of alcohol and drugs, mentions of mafia-type organisations, eating disorders, death, depression.

song to listen to when reading this: Si, ah, Frah Quintale.

abstract: It's Simon, who's surprised, you get how it works. Alba is a good cook I'll tell you that. other than that, you won't get any spoilers from me, having to re-read this is painful enough. my eyes are bleeding from reading all the bullshit I was thinking in this moment. see ya.

She smiled and tilted her head to the side. There he was. She didn't look at him for too long, that would make him uncomfortable. Instead, she sat down in front to him and topped her pasta with some breadcrumbs, she then passed him the bowl as he imitated her. She raised her glass of wine he had filled motioned it towards him, but he kept his eyes low. He told her it was good, she said she was glad he liked it. His face wasn't different from what she had imagined, having seen parts of it already. His nose looked like it had been broken several times, his upper lip was adorned by a white scar, on the left side. He had harsh features and his cheekbones were pointy, if it wasn't for his longish hair he would have really looked the military part. Instead, those blond messy locks kinda made him look more normal, more like a civilian. Even his big brown eyes betrayed his untouchable and stern persona. 'Is this… from where your dad is from?' He asked, referring to the pasta sauce. 'No he's from the north, but all the best food is from the south of Italy…', she replied. 'Want bread?' She gave him a slice of toasted sourdough, said Italians normally use it to clean the plate of all the sauce. He was finishing all the pasta that was in the pan when she went back to cooking. He looked at her dancing from the fridge to the oven, to the counter and back. 'You need help?' He was still eating and comfortably sitting down while she barely finished her plate and went back to putting something in the oven. 'No don't worry', she sat back down and finished her pasta. In the silence she noticed the song that was playing in the background she thanked every god above he didn't understand Italian, it would have been embarrassing.

'Come over to my place, we'll smoke together.

Come over to my place, we'll talk, and drink and then I don't know…

You can even stop for dinner if you want, I'm home alone…

Tonight, we'll put a movie on, and will spend the evening just like this, ah…

yeah, ah…

yeah, ah…

(We will not watch it).

He asked her if he could feed Jinx again, she handed him his treats, adding that he knew some commands. He tried some of them and the dog followed, salivating on the floor, but got distracted easily and started crying for food. 'He was abused as a puppy, I'm still trying to figure out how to manage the whining and crying…', he looked at her with a surprised expression. She was scooping the ricotta thing with a piece of carrot. 'Really?' 'Yeah, I adopted him last year, I used to volunteer at a shelter. He was severely underweight and didn't really trust anyone, my poor baby…' she cooed. 'He still gets sad when I cook cause he thinks I don't want to feed him.' Simon gently patted the dog's head between his ears. 'So you work, you do ballet, the shelter…', he turned to face her, intrigued by the many hobbies and occupations this woman had. She was a good cook as well… 'Is it that obvious I don't have many friends?' He immediately regretted saying that. She let out a small chuckle, the tension in the air vanishing again. 'You don't look like you got many friends either…', she whispered. Dead friends, dead family, even myself, I'm legally dead, Alba. He was a killing machine, he was a soldier, he survived the unimaginable, no he didn't have friends… Half his life he had spent killing and touring in the name of his loved ones. 'I do have friends…' he replied. 'Hum who? Scotland and that other silly one?' He had to suppress a tiny smile, he suddenly remembered he wasn't wearing his mask. She was funny. She didn't know he saw her talk to Garrick, which probably wanted to be more friends with her than with him… 'Yeah, we work together…' She turned around from facing the oven and put her hands on her hips. 'So they're coworkers, not friends', she argued, waving a cooking thermometer in the air. She opened the oven, careful not to burn herself and checked the temperature of the fish. 140°F, perfectly cooked.

'Lemon cod, Simon Riley', he shivered when she said his name, 'With dill and rosemary.' She put the two dirty plates in the sink, scooping half of the fish into her clean plate and plating the other half in his. The fish looked flaky and tender, it was laying on a slice of lemon and coated in olive oil and herbs. She wasn't done, she had another tray with crispy roasted potatoes. 'This is too much Alba, seriously', he tried. 'Why?' She was looking at him now, stoic and calm. She didn't move for a while, she kept inspecting his face. He didn't know what to say except that he felt undeserving. He didn't belong there, in that warm house, with all that food she cooked for him. He didn't belong in her presence because he was used to ruin nice things, he wasn't used to them, he hadn't had a home cooked meal in a while, and he could't get used to the feeling. He was scared he was going to like it. 'You got too much stuff…', she interrupted him.

'Are you not hungry?'

'Yes, I am but…'

She went on again, 'Do you not like it?'

'No no I do, it's just…'

'Then eat it.' She was serious, she wasn't smiling anymore. She understood why he felt that way. She understood this probably wasn't his thing. She bought what she wanted to cook, she cooked because she like it. She suspected he wasn't really used to people taking care of him or doing nice things for him. 'It's Christmas Simon', she said, her voice soft again. Her eyes looked full of sadness for a second. 'I've spent Christmas alone for the past six years. And I think you know how it feels to be alone…' She sat down, he looked at her feeling petrified and exposed, was she fucking psychoanalysing him? 'I'm really glad you're here and I hope you like what I made, I made it because I wanted to.' He spent way too much time thinking about an answer and could only come up with a shitty one. He tried to not think of her words and get them out of his head as fast as possible. You don't know the first thing about me Alba, don't compare your trauma to mine. 'I'll pay you back, you probably spent way too much on food…'

'Oh, wait till I tell you I got you a present as well.'

notes: yes, the song really goes, yeah, ah… you can hear it. If we end up in my bed it's a coincidence, but don't say you tripped…

notes: incredibly sad update, I'm running out of planned chapters... and, I'm going on holiday soon and uni is getting busy again. soo maybe expect me to update not so frequently. BUT we've got so much to cover don't worry!!

taglist:

@ghostlythots @sweetfemmefatal @natxpat @chavarriakeren647 @ravenmoore14 @farther-than-pleiades @internallyscreamings @hwromi @atoxicrat @cuti3maddi3 @deafeningkittenblaze @its-celeste @serene-hills @lexidoll12 @poohkie90 @lunatiquess

@warmedbythebody @katzykat @iristhemuse @azkza @keiraslayz @abbyandermine @jennyjencakes @dest-nai @corset-briefs @nutze-kekse @ilytsukiw @b3anspr0ut

@pondsblog @missyouzoe @fallenkitten @bigauthorrascalturkey @bethtay @angelynn-nicole @starluv @stargirlisworld @giyuuslittleslut @impossiblecupcakelight

@rkrivees-blog @ghosts-hoe @kam1snotverysmart @gauky76 @freyjaaasstuff @spicyspicyliving @scottpilgrimvsmyfists @courtney0-0 @shinchanboi @darling006 @my-therapist-hates-me

[bonzos-number-1-fan]

TMAP 4 Thoughts

Spoilers for Ep 4, obviously.

So that's it? What we're some kinda...Magnus Protocol?

Big thing up top; Tim Fearon's Augustus is fucking excellent. The Lovecraft inspiration was very on the nose in both prose and theme but it was also a really good take on that style. Not surprised this was a guest writer too given that style. Tim Fearon really nails the cadence and intonation needed for this sort of thing and I'd love to see him narrate some actual Lovecraft sometime. The Music of Erich Zann obviously would be a good place to start. Anyone that doesn't think this is Jonah at this stage is just out of their mind.

The incident is also interesting in that it's the most straight TMA Fear we've seen so far. It's just a Slaughter ep through and through really.

Creepy cursed item pedlar feels like a recurring character to me. I expect them to show up again. Which makes for 3 non-OIAR characters we can expect back.

For an additional ARG detail or two; Starkwall is a reference to Starkwall Protection Services that we know from the ARG used to be associated with the OIAR. They announced the discontinuation of this association on Jan 3rd, 2000. Before that they were affiliated with Rightforce International, formerly Diligence Security Systems, if that proves relevant down the line. More interestingly the character Lena was talking to in that very end scene was named Klaus. Klaus provided us (the ARG solvers) with an excel sheet in German that was Freddy style case numbers and DPHW's. He also seemed to have set up the whole thing in-universe too. My pet theory was that Klaus was the German name for Freddy but it's an actual dude and it could be a couple of people from the ARG. Actually, I'm sticking to that theory. Klaus isn't actually called Klaus and assumed the name from kl4-u5, or kl4-u5 is named after Klaus.

DPHW Theory continuation: I honestly don't think much needs to be said. It's a pretty clear fit here. So it's 7494 and you've got music that makes people want to kill themselves and each other, the instrument through which that's achieved requires a blood sacrifice but it needn't be yours, you are however seemingly under its control in more than just the compulsion to play it, and it's got some elements of the uncanny in how it was manifesting. Nothing exciting but more evidence that I'm correct.

CAT#R# Theory: Apart from Sam messing it up and missing out the R again I think this mostly disproves the tria prima idea. I was willing to discount the last ep's case number because of how mistaken it all looked but without more to go on it's really hard to discount this one too. More data, or thought, required to link this all together.

Header Nonsense: Nothing much to say other than that "Collection (blood) -/- musical" is a very strange header in comparison to the others.

[buildarocketboys]

Crimson Peak notes @tumbleclub

So I took notes throughout my rewatch so under the cut is basically a live blog of my thoughts and feelings - spoilers for Crimson Peak throughout since I refer to what happens later in the movie from the start.

The main things I want to say about this movie though are 1. It's such a masterpiece of gothic horror. The aesthetic, the story, the characters, the relationships, the SYMBOLISM...all so on point that it almost feels TOO on the nose at times (except it doesn't because I love it. It's perfect, mwah). And 2. I love all the characters. They're all so compelling, they're all, in some ways, sympathetic (yes even Lucille...god forbid women do anything etc etc). I just love watching these fucked up (and less fucked up, shout-out to Alan, you the real MVP) relationships play out, it's so *chef kiss*

Anyway, here's my play by play thoughts. Warnings for incest, murder, horror and gore (although I don't actually talk about the gore much, it's a fairly gory movie when it comes to the murder/attempted murder and such though)

- 'a parasite with a title' go off Edith

- also she'd prefer to be Mary Shelley because she died a widow. She's so metal

- her relationship with her dad is so cute. Shame he dies

- Thomas coming in dressed in black from head to toe...

- also immediately clocking Edith and flirting with her...he knows what he's doing

- the red clay is fucking genius

- London... Edinburgh... Milan 👀

- her dad sees right through him from the start...we have to stan

- For being who are only trying to help Edith, they sure are scary

- LUCILLE!

- THE NOT QUITE LIP KISS

- He really is pushing all Edith's boundaries (and society's boundaries) from the very beginning huh

- "I don't want to close my eyes. I want to keep them open." is an interesting character quote for Edith

- Love Alan indulging her ghost obsession.. besties. But also him mentioning ghosts being minerals in the earth... very interesting..

- from my fiancée @judasisgayriot - "love that this is supposed to be a sunny day but the colour palette is so washed out and dull"

- Lucille ultimate goth queen. Feeding the butterfly to the ants... (Also just noticed that on the DVD cover a butterfly is sitting on Edith's hand...we love symbolism)

- "it's mine I want it back" about the ring. Because she took it from their mother when she killed her but also because SHE'S Thomas's wife

- Dad sees RIGHT through him

- "thoroughly break her heart" and then he comes for her writing. God. Yeah. Fuck him. But he clearly means it "perfection has no place in love" which makes it hurt all the more

- Love that the obvious way to kill him is to either use the razor or drown him in the sink, but no, Lucille fucking bashes his head in on the sink. Kind of badass ngl

- The thing about Edith is she really WANTS to be a protagonist in a ghost story, which is probably why she ignores alllll those red flags

- That said, I DO think she should have picked up on some of them, Jesus girl

- "you've been married a while" + one of the previous wife's dog as soon as they arrive...

- This house is a fucking wreck Thomas!! This would not pass health and safety regulations!! Girl run!

- He really has to stop himself from kissing Lucille. Then definitely smells her

- The bloody pipes... honestly you could be forgiven for thinking it's too on point. Not me though, I love it. The more obvious symbolism the better

- I love the fact that Thomas chose her BECAUSE he actually fell in love with her. Which Lucille CAN'T know (and TBF idk if Thomas even knows himself completely yet. He's playing a role but also he's not)

- GREEN GDT BATHROOM!! One of the jankiest ones, but it's still (crimson) peak!

- I love the bloody mist effect on the ghosts, like they're still bleeding but they're in gaseous form now so so is their blood

- Lucille creeping through the keyhole...

- Edith's fantasy of their childhood vs their Flowers in the Attic reality

- "I don't want her to miss a single thing we do" STAN LUCILLE

- Love her trying to get the lowdown on whether Edith and Thomas have fucked yet

- The huge moths thriving as opposed to the butterflies being eaten...

- Thomas like "You're not like other girls"

- Thomas's workshop and inventions are nice and make him more sympathetic. Definition of poor little miaow miaow. Terrible but also sad and pathetic

- Also these ghosts are fucked up, they definitely didn't just die of being poisoned or whatever.

- Surprised her father's ghost doesn't make an appearance...all the ghosts are women (except for Thomas right at the end)

- Edith: "Has anyone died in this house." Thomas: "Duh, it's a really old house. Americans 🙄"

- Oop...crimson peak mention...too late for poor Edith

- Ohhh shit she's coughing up blood (gdi Lucille giving her poisoned tea)

- I love that she tries to commune with the honestly pretty fucking scary ghosts. She's such a horror girlie

- Oh this one took a cleaver or something to the head

- I'd just stay in the post office and refuse to leave tbh. It looks cosy

- Love that Edith is a writer girlie too

- She's SOOOOOO fucking mad that she slept with him, she almost brains Edith with a fucking saucepan

- Ooooooh the bloody footprints from the clay

- Also Edith doing her little detective bit, stealing the keys

- The basement with the clay vats is so creepy. I mean so is the entire house but yeah. God. Perfect place to hide a body

- She's so mad that he wants Edith to see it

- Lucille DOES love to trauma dump on Edith lol

- Love that this is the first time Thomas explicitly acknowledged the poison tea and tells her not to drink it

- "We stay together. Never apart." "Never apart."

- "You couldn't leave me. You wouldn't." "I can't."

- ALANNN

- Also love that they're talking about the murders, sure, but also the incest. This is a conversation they've had multiple times. And in this one thing, Lucille sees it clearly. Thomas doesn't, or doesn't want to, wants to believe that he can make this work with all three of them, somehow (boy you're dreaming)

- Oop here we go with the sibling fucking!!

- Lucille is so possessive and victorious lmao

- Love that Edith immediately jumps to "you're not his sister" because incest does not compute

- Alan knows her so well so he knows what she means by her mother and crimson peak

- Yassss Thomas stab him non-fatally! King shit (lmao)

- Wow burning the book...cold

- "None of them ever fucked Thomas"

- Poor incest baby 👶

- THE HORROR WAS FOR LOVE

- This speech is everything to me.

- IT IS A MONSTROUS LOVE AND IT MAKES MONSTERS OF US

- "You should have seen him as a child. He was perfect." (Vs perfection has no place in love 👀👀)

- They're so sad honestly. I can't help but feel sorry for them. Even Lucille

- "you lied to me" "I did" "you poisoned me" "I did" "you told me you loved me" "I do" AGGHHHH SO GOOD

- The fact that he thinks they can all start a new life together. Oh honey.

- Interesting that ghost Thomas is white to match the snow instead of red or black like the other ghosts

- She literally heard you the first time Lucille! God! (Badass of her actually)

- Edith's speech with Lucille's ghost playing piano at the end...so good

[kenphobia]

FOR EVERYTHING!

"Thank you, I really mean it."

summary. tim decided to throw you a birthday party! what could go wrong? (drabble / 1.1k wc / read end notes)

contents. slight tma spoilers for season 3, implied character death, romantic undertones, time-skip at the end, flerting with an a italicized e.

"C'mon!! Just a tiny bit of smile for me, please?"

"I am not going to do that, Tim."

The camera rolled and played, prettily set up just across you. Your roommate, Tim, sat beside you with a pleading smile and his hands clasped together.

It was your birthday today, and though you were planning to not reveal that fact to Tim, he found out when your older sibling came to your dorm for a quick visit. And after another shitty day with your college professor on your ass, Tim decided to pull out a little cupcake, some decorations and party hats, and he decided it was a birthday party.

He even baked the cupcake himself! Though, it doesn't look exactly .. edible but it looked like one enough.

"Are you really going to say no to a gorgeous face like this?" He fluttered his eyelashes, pouting and moved his face closer to you. A sudden warmth creeped up your face as you pushed his face away.

"Personal space, Personal—!"

"Aah, I'm sorry!"

You laughed, a giddy feeling emerged and bubbled in your chest. "Fine, see? I smiled, can we get this whole thing over now?" You flicked your hand towards the table. There were multiple paper plates scattered around, sitting and waiting on the table as if someone was gonna come to use them.

Tim shooked his hand and wagged his finger at you. "Nu-uh, don't think you can suddenly get away with a fake laugh?" He glared at you in a playful manner, a mischievous glint suddenly streaked through his dark eyes and he smiled widely. "I know something that can bring out actual laughter."

You furrowed your brows, glancing back and forth at his face and to his fingers, he wiggled them in preparation and as a warning for what was going to happen. You rose from your seat, stepping back as Tim got closer and closer.

As you were about to make a full-on sprint, Tim tackled you to the ground and attacked the sides of your stomach. He worked his fingers and tickled you, pulling a wheezing laugh right after another.

"T-Tim! I swear to— Haha, Fucking god, I'm going to—" You sucked in a breath, trying your hardest to pull your friend's hands off your sides. Unfortunately, Tim does more exercise than you so his grip tighten the more you resisted him.

"Kill me? I can't even lift my finger, mate!" Tim howled out a loud laughter. The plastic tie that was keeping his hair in place snapped and all of his brown curls fell his on his face, You immediately took the chance and squeezed his sides like an orange.

A shriek escaped his lips as Tim fumbled down to the floor, coughing up tears and strings of curse as you poke his side, squeezing the little baby fats on his stomach.

"Who's got the high ground now, Obi-wan!?" You crackled, barely dodging Tim's frailing arms. He even smacked your face but he was too busy trying to release himself out of your grip.

Tim huffed, resisting the urge to laugh at your petty revenge and your stupid little references, the every same ones he could only get and love the most. His face was flushed, a dizzying wave washed over as he lets an airy laugh out for once. "I give up, I give up! Let me— Aha! —go now please!"

"Apologize! Apologize, you tall bamboo!"

"I'm sorry, okay!? Let me go, please!"

Finally, you slipped your fingers off and allowed your body fall flat on the space next to Tim. You heaved, sucking the cool air as you tangled your fingers in his. All you felt was exhaustion and a jittery happiness that wouldn't let your heart steady for a rest.

You looked at him who seemed to be going through the same thing as you. He grinned, turning his head to face you. "Looks like little Mx. Smartass here has some bite to them, after all." He booped your nose.

You blew him a raspberry, returning the grin as you press your forehead against his. Tim moved your hand to his chest, you can feel his heartbeat pounding om his ribs as if his heart wanted to put itself right in your hands.

"Shut up, Tim." You merely said, moving your hand to his hair and ran your fingers through it. It was damp, slicked with sweat but you can smell that intoxicating smell of mint coming from his clothes and dark locks.

"But I did make you laugh, didn't I?" Tim looked at you with a goofy little glint in his eyes.

"You said you'd make me smile, not pin me down and torture me." You rolled your eyes playfully.

"Same thing." He shrugged as he moved closer to you, you can feel his laughter vibrating from his chest. You found yourself nearly dozing off to the rhythmic pattern of his heartbeat. "... Happy birthday though, (Name)."

Three words were only hanging off the tip of your tongue, ready to be blurted out and confessed, but the pits of your stomach resisted and you buried your face deep into his shoulder.

"Thanks, Tim. For everything."

"Anything for my best friend."

✦

The lights flickered ever-so-slightly as you feel the fog grow more and more heavy. You were sitting down, a camera left discarded and nearly tipping itself off the table. A cupcake sat in the middle of it all, a single candle sticking out of its strawberry pink frosting.

It's too perfect to be called yours. Too clean to be from him.

The cold clung your skin, biting and scratching at you. And though you couldn't breathe, you only felt a slight uncomfortable feeling. Did you care? no, but would you care? You aren't sure if such thing is still possible.

The fog had grown heavily, enveloping you in its arms like chains tying you down to your seat. The chair creaked as you leaned backwards, sucking in a breath that tastes more metallic and lonely than ever.

A high-pitched buzzing pierced through the still silence, it kept coming and coming closer to you. You feel a hand rest on your shoulder, it was light but firm. You can feel the person's callouses through your thick coat.

"What are you doing here?" You asked the stranger.

The stranger kept quiet, the buzzing only continued and got louder. Your chest felt heavier.

"I could ask the same, (Name). Why are you still here? He's gone, isn't he? That stoker boy." The stranger returned the question.

You don't respond, only furrowing your brows as your blank expression turned into a scrowl. You'd grip your coat but your fingers were too numb to even move.

"Tell me, (Name). What do you feel?"

"I feel..." You look down at your hands, moving it with the best as you could. Your toes had already stopped moving long ago, your legs has lost its purpose once you sat down on that chair.

The knots on your face, your brows and your frown, had simply faded and lost any sort of life in them as you watched the fog grasped the tiny candle in its hold and put out the flame, the very thing that had kept you grounded for so long, Your Tim.

"I feel absolutely nothing."

author's note. hurt-comfort? naur bestie, comfort-hurt >:)) but seriously, this is my first fic and i think the only character i really have a good grasp on is either tim or sasha.

but that's because both of them barely had much screentime (sasha mostly) and i can fit them into any mold i see them fit <33 might write a little headcanon thing for the entire scooby doo gang or whatever the tma fandom calls them. idk if this is will get a lot of notes like my wh fics, but at this point, i just like doing fanwork.

but yeah!!! any support is appreciated btw <33

[depresseddepot]

watched alien: romulus. so many fucking good cinematic moments. actual "review" (NOT spoiler free) under the read more

Firstly the good: I think they accomplished their supposed goal of matching the vibes of the first movie. I think the callbacks/references/quotes were a LITTLE on the nose, but each of them made me kick my feet in the theater, so they still got me lmao. The soundtrack gave me chills. The fucking part where the oxygen is sucked out and she's dangling being COMPLETE SILENCE was soo cool. The part when Andy realizes he needs to kill one of the crew members (whose name I don't know, which I'll get to later) and he says his "you finally won't think of me as a child anymore" line and then sprints to hunt one of them down was so up my alley i had to physically restrain myself from laughing and clapping during the movie.

Next, the bad, or more the not so good: it was so fucking dark. The darkness in the beginning on the colony was cool because it felt appropriate, but the darkness later was REALLY frustrating. I was watching it in a local theater with not so great image and light quality, so maybe the darkness was actually an issue with the theater, but I can't know for sure until I rewatch it on DVD. Which I will almost certainly be doing, because I COULDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY WERE SAYING HALF OF THE TIME. This is probably a me thing, but I feel as if so many of the characters slurred or murmured their words, and without subtitles that is just impossible for me to understand. The only characters names that I know is Andy and Rain and that is ONLY because I read them in an article before. I think one was named Kyle? The CGI was actually frighteningly good in every aspect EXCEPT the android on the station (which....that was SUPPOSED to be ash, right?) I had misunderstood that article I read, because I thought Andy and Rain were BOTH androids, but it turns out my assumption of two androids was accidentally correct.

I could nitpick for hours, but god I love these fucking movies. I was so so SO worried they would take it away from the androids, but they didn't. The part with Andy restarting in the red water room was so fucked up and so so so cool. I LOVE the way they were riding the line between androids being evil/fucked up/uncanny valley while also being good and, most importantly, worth going back for. It displays the situation of androids just as complex as it is. It makes me hopeful for future alien movies to see how they'll tackle those issues, because I was a little worried they would fall back into the "androids evil humans good" thing. My pipe dream is an official alien franchise live action movie with an android/human relationship, so that maybe it will kick the scene into high gear a bit and we'll get all sorts of new media with those themes.

Andy has joined the ranks with some of the best fictional androids I've ever read/watched/seen. That scene of him running and then standing motionless in the airlock made me feel like I was fucking ascending, like I was forgetting to breathe and getting lightheaded because I was so excited. The movie delivered both HAL and Bishop (for lack of a better comparison) in one person and fucking christ the actor did just a good job. The twitching while he restarted. Christ.

I won't sleep very well tonight but not because I'm scared who said that

I also really enjoyed the lore about the world these movies are set in. The mining colony was cool as fuck to see and I LOOVVVEEEE janky ass homemade spaceships that run like a square bicycle wheel. I did feel as if Rain didn't have enough information to be making the calls that she did (ie, not trusting the serum? Why not? Obv WE know not to, but how did she? If she been in a scene where she had CLEARLY seen the cage with the rat, this example would've been fine, but there were other little things like that that felt off. This was her first time in space, first time (presumably) in anti-grav situations, and she somehow managed extremely well, as if she was trained for it)

Anyway. Thats all ive got. I am emotionally spent and I cannot wait to get my grubby hands on a DVD. I heard rumors of another movie (Alien: Earth?) but that was on twitter which I quickly bailed on to avoid spoilers.

[loganscroftersstash]

hi guys mitzy here. back with a fucking BANGER post

with all the discussion about the finale and the video that released (that made me like cry) i figured now is as good a time as any to share my theories on the finale!!!!! keep in mind i am stupid and some of this may not make sense so, my bad in advance. also, spoilers for the newest life update video (if that needs spoilers, but just in case!!!)

1. i think the main driving event (based off the last asides and general details we know about c!thomas) is maybe c!thomas diving too far into the relationship too fast (i.e. telling nico he loves him, if i had to guess). roman is very obviously over excited, we know patton has little self control, and with c!thomas’ mental state it’s not irrational for him to cling on to any good thing that comes his way like a vice.

2. orange time. i know there’s A Great Divide™ between the orange side is anger/orange side isn’t anger debate but i honestly have to agree that i don’t think he’s anger. it feels too on the nose. i mean, so many thought roman’s anti was going to be pride and look where we ended up with that. it feels too easy to assume he’s anger. i’ve been doing a lot of discussing with my pals in the sanders fanders discord server and some other ideas could be insecurity, regret, someone even said addiction (bc logan is. totally normal guys), like there are SO many options that would make sense that aren’t anger.

3. i think orange’s name is going to be argos. this is mainly because of all the eye symbolism we’ve had with him and argos is heavily associated with being “all-seeing”. we also know the team absolutely LOVES their greek names. i have the least support for this but i also like it because its cool as fuck. also i did the least research for this like. ages ago so take it with a grain of salt. also, (apparently) in the greek testament of the bible (which we know thomas and the team love) argos is used to refer to leisure/being free from labour sooooo…. that’s cool…….

bye love you all!!

[owlhead650]

hiiii… i know i already did a request but i can’t help but ask for some nevstasia… your writing is sooooo tasty and it would make us so very happy if we got some nevstasia writing from u :3

Hi Meteors.

I know you asked for Nevstasia shipping content but no matter how much I thought about it I just couldn't picture it. I couldn't think of a good romantic scene to write between the two. Instead I wrote a short story focusing mainly on Ren and Nastasia with a quick scene including Neved. I hope you enjoy the story.

Happy Birthday Meteors.

This short story is around 3165 words long and includes my oc Asopo acting as the interceptor. When Asopo gets mentioned the characters are referring to the player character. This story includes a novelised version of an actual scene from .Karma files so beware of spoilers. Without further ado, here is the story I wrote for my lovely friend The Meteorites. @pokefangamebrainrot & @pokemonsillysys

Pokemon Rejuvenation - Nastasia .Karma Files

Nestasia was writing her report for unauthorised mission number seventeen. For reasons best known to herself and Madame X, she was able to get away with this borderline insubordination as long as she wrote these reports afterwards which totally didn’t omit any information. She checked the word count. ‘1083’ words. She estimated that it would take Madame X about 16 minutes and 40 seconds for her to finish reading it.

She re-read the report to ensure there weren’t any mistakes. The title of her report read “Mission Approved Post Completion No. 25” Now that would have been a fatal mistake. Madame X only knew about 17, she had to keep it that way.

“Hey, Nastasa?”

She looked up from her laptop to the person standing next to her. “Yes, Ren?”

“I just wanted to ask if you could help me get back into my body for a little bit.” That is not the question she was expecting.

“What? Why? What would be the point in doing that?”

“Well you see me and my friends are going to do this hang out together and I guess I just want to… be there? For real? I also just miss the way my body felt. I touch myself and I feel metal, I think my pokemon all miss it too.”

“I get where you’re coming from but… I just think that’s an unnecessary risk. You know why.” Ren’s real body was currently in a life support pod hidden somewhere known only to herself, Ren and Madame X. At least Madame X believed she knew where it was. When she demanded that Nastasia show it to her she was led to a life support pod in which the body of a black haired teenager was laying down unconscious. This was a ditto acting as Ren’s body double, she couldn’t keep her promise to Ren if Madame X knew where the real one was.

“I know it’s a risk but… things are going to get more serious soon, we both know it will. It’ll happen when… y’know.” Nastasia did know. She had been the one to explain to Ren that the dome over Grand Dream City wasn’t actually just for simulating preferable weather in the city. It was to make sure no one could evacuate when that thing was unleashed upon them.

“So you think you won’t get a chance like this again? You want a break from that robot body when you can still get it?”

“That’s basically it, yeah.”

“Fine. But we need to be careful about this. I’ll speak with you again in forty minutes.”

Nastasia sorted out the rest of her evening’s paperwork and went with Ren to that location. Sending Ren’s mind back to his organic body was a delicate process, one that could result in permanent brain damage if performed incorrectly. Nastasia was known to do things correctly.

Ren’s mouth felt dry, he could feel the softness of the cushion beneath him and hear an air conditioning fan. He inhaled through his nose, he could breathe again, he needed to breathe again. 

Ren sat up and saw that Nastasia was sitting on a couch a few feet away. A Ninetales with soft yellow fur and a thick bundle of tails laid on the couch with her. He wanted to touch it.

“Hey Stasia.” Despite having just woken up, Ren actually felt really tired. He was going to go to sleep as soon as he made it to Sashila.

“Hello Ren. How does it feel to be flesh and blood again?” She pocketed her phone.

“It feels… good actually. I think I took it for granted. Can I pet Ninetails?”

“Hold out your hand. Ask it.” Ren did just that. He bent over and offered his clenched fist to it. He felt gentle licks on his fingers and started petting its head. The fur was soft, and warm. So warm, like a bed with an electric blanket. It was like touching his Arcanine.

“Thanks Stasia, I’ll enjoy this.”

“That’s alright. Now we need to discreetly make our way back to HQ and keep this a secret.”

Ren felt the wind playing with his hair. It was cold but refreshing. He scratched his cheek and under his chin, he had the occasional itch which never bothered Robo Ren, but touching his own face felt so good. Now that he knew what it was like to be without that feeling he realised how good it felt.

He went indoors. He walked down the stairs. The heating inside was pleasant, he never appreciated how the indoor temperature was just right. He went towards the group bedroom. Between the hallway and the bedroom there was another room. It seems to have been turned into a sitting room thanks to the new Rotom TV and the couch. Erin was looking through some notebook and probably about to walk out of the room. Venam was looking at the TV.

“Hm? Oh, hi Ren.”

“Hey Erin, just wanted to ask, when are we all doing that hang out in GDC?”

“Oh, that. Yeah I don’t know. I forgot about it until now. I’m not convinced everyone is able for something like that right now. It seems like a bad time.” Erin sounded frustrated.

“Wait really? I know Asopo and Melia have been a bit off lately but wouldn’t a group activity be a way we could help everyone? We’ll need to be a proper team for the Xen Raid.”

“Yeah, I don’t know. Maybe if at least Venam would say a word. Could you speak with her?” Ren looked back at Venam and the TV. A video of Espurr eating ice cream was playing. He sat down next to her. “Hey Venam.” He looked at her face. Venam’s blank stare was reminiscent of Espurr's own expression. She looked empty inside. “Are you alright?” She didn’t respond. He waved a hand in front of her face. “Are you catatonic or what?”

“O-oh yeah. Hey Ren.” She looked at him and shifted about on her seat.

“Hi Venam. What’s up?”

“I’m… looking at cats I guess.”

“I can see that.” He glanced at the TV again. A Skitty was chasing its own tail. “So what’s wrong?” 

“I… I’m just sad, I guess. And tired.”

“What are you sad about?”

“...Things didn’t end well between me and Melia.” Venam looked away from him. Ren was shocked. 

“Oh crap, what happened? Where’s Melia now?” Ren looked at the entrance to the bedroom, as if he might see Melia walking into or out of it.

“S-she just… dumped me.” Venam took off her leather jacket and just placed it behind her so that she’d be sitting on it. She was wearing a white t-shirt underneath.

“Dumped you…? Why? What went wrong?” He felt distraught, he always thought Melia was the sort to let someone down gently.

“I-I don’t know. I asked her out on a date to GDC, but for some reason she insisted on bringing Asopo along. He sort of just sat there silently the whole time, even more silent than usual. Then she got this goth makeover which I thought was really pretty, and then when we went home. I… I tried to offer her a kiss before we went to sleep but she just… she jumped back and acted all shocked, like she just acted as if we never dated in the first place. She just said that if we were in a thing then it’s over all of a sudden. I have no idea what I did wrong.” Venam rubbed her damp eyes and sniffled. Then she got up. “Thanks for listening to that crap. Good night Ren.”

“Oh… alright. Goodnight Venam.” He noticed that she forgot to pick up her leather jacket, she just left it sitting there. Who cares? She’ll see it in the morning.

Ren was going to get ready for his own sleep, but then he saw an envelope on his pillow. The outside read: ‘To Ren <3’ and it was written in pink glitter ink. What the fuck?

Dearest Renny Wen Ren,

Ren, meet me at The Back Alley. I’ve loved you for so long and it’s time to talk about it. O///O

Love Melia~ UWU

Ren… felt furious. What the fuck? What the actual fuck? This was humiliating. Melia just threw Venam away like her feelings mean nothing, only to send this bullshit to him? He once felt a bit of an attraction to her, it’s true. But really it wasn’t anything he was ever going to act on. By now he was over it, but Melia must’ve noticed. What is she doing? Why has she been so aloof and antisocial lately? And now that he thought about it, when was the last time he spoke with Asopo? Everything about this situation feels wrong, he had to do something.

Ren was going to go to the back alley, but he wasn’t going to talk to Melia about whatever dumb romance this is meant to be, oh no. He was going to confront her and make her explain herself. He threw the envelope away but crumpled the letter into a ball to put in his pocket. He was leaving right away.

Nastasia was finishing her dinner by Neved’s bar in the Xen Admin lobby. It was quiet, just herself and Neved. He was wiping a glass as she swallowed the last of her food. “So how’s Franchesca?” She asked, wanting to break the silence.

“She’ll live, or at least at this rate she should.” That wasn’t a very happy question, now that she thought about it.

“What about you?” He asked. By now he had put away the glass and sat on a chair on his side of the bar.

“...I would like a Martini.”

“Of course, anything for you.” Such a dramatic way of wording it, but she thought it was sweet. *Deoxxxxxx…*

Her Deoxys flew into the room and reached towards her face with its helix arm. It tapped her forehead and showed her a vision.

Ren. Blood stained. Desperate. He’s running from someone, a blonde girl teleporting around and mocking him. The occasional manic laugh is heard, she’s hunting him but taking the time to play with her food. A white haired boy runs after them both. He seems to be trying to prevent Ren’s death, but his expression is emotionless. He shows no signs of genuine concern, his every action is methodical and without passion.

Nastasia stands up. “Sorry Neved, that martini will need to wait. I must leave immediately.” She turns around and bolts for her lab. Her armour is there, she’ll need it if she is to make it on time. She’ll mobilise Robo Ren as well. That machine can fight and move even without Ren’s mind in it, just not as independently.

“Asopo…” Ren was cornered. He wasn’t sure what Asopo was even trying to do, but his robot body had shown up and attacked him for some reason while he and Melia just sort of watched them fight. The robot lost. Then Melia fired an arrow at it.

“And pop goes the weasel. We appreciate your cooperation! Now for our dear Raven… your wings shall be clipped.” Ren was half way through turning around when he heard another arrow fire. Everything went dark. He felt cold, numb again. He wondered if Melia had actually finished him off. 

A sudden flash of light assaulted his eyes. He heard applause, there were stage lamps above him and it looked like he was in some sort of game show? What? 

“...Oh come on.” On his right he saw some floating platform lower itself next to him. Melia was in a whole different outfit with twintails, a popstar dress and a microphone.

“Welcome one and all to the second* episode of M5’s GuiltyOrNah! The game show where we decide if our contestant is…”

The audience finished for her. “GUILTY! OR! NAH!” He had to listen to even more cheering. Where was the audience? He couldn’t see them. Was this hell? He could still feel the blood running down his body.

“Today’s contestant is Mr Renster! And lemme tell ya, this one is really personal! You wouldn’t even believe. Let’s look at the voter’s centre and see who we got for tonight!” Ren looked towards the voters. He saw… more Melia. All three of them were Melia. There were four Melias in the room with him… he felt dizzy, he felt scared and sad. 

“Without further ado, it’s time to get to the voting! Ren is being charged with… Betrayal! Being a fake friend in another world! Not fighting back when you’re attacked, like, seriously?! You know what to do folks! Cast in your votes!”

Ren still didn’t understand anything. He really didn’t… except, Melia mentioned betrayal. Being a fake friend… he was still insecure about that. Even though Melia had seemingly forgiven him for joining team Xen and not explaining why, even though he had the best of intentions and his friends had given him the benefit of the doubt… still. He knows how he hurt them. He would’ve preferred to be next to them, fighting team Xen more directly and alongside them. Maybe Melia was right to be angry at him, and if he hurt her in some other world then maybe dying here was the only way to make up for it? He felt so dizzy… he felt so sad.

He was aware of some Rotom TV in front of him. It cycled through some images before settling on a skull. “And there we have it!” Melia cheered. “Renster has been found guilty by the court on all charges! And you know what that means!”

Ren groaned to himself and looked at the Melia with the twintails. “Now we’re going to give you a choice! How would you like to die?” Ren felt upset again, and still afraid, but he did some thinking. There was something Melia needed to hear.

“I… I don’t know how to react to all of this. I’m confused and defeated. This is the punishment I deserve for the things I’ve done. I knew joining team Xen was a betrayal on all costs, but I did it anyway. And even after I found out that I was tricked, I stayed. The truth is… I stayed because I wanted to help Nastasia. She said she joined team Xen because she was looking for a friend. And after all this time it seems she may finally know where she is. I wanted to be there and help her, but it was at the cost of my closest friends. I’m sorry, Melia. I’m sorry.” He was ready.

Ren braced for the end.

“...What?” Melia was in disbelief, her sinister jubilance had disappeared all of a sudden. Ren looked at her again.

“If this is the punishment I deserve, then I won’t run away from it. I don’t remember what I did in another world, but the pain it’s caused is the same.”

“R-Ren…” Melia’s face reddened, she was holding back tears. Ren remembered something important. “I just ask one thing.”

“...What is it?” Melia asked.

“Tell my sister that I love her, and that I’m sorry I disappointed her too.” He remembered another thing. “Sorry, I want to ask two things of you. Please talk and make up with Venam.” Okay, that’s everything important. He was ready to disappear now.

“...No, Ren. It’s I who should be apologising. You’re nothing like the Ren I knew. You’re way different than him. In every way imaginable. I should have realised that sooner.” There was another flash of light, a gentler one. He felt the pains and injuries around his body rapidly soothe, a warmth enveloped him as he lost consciousness.

Nastasia was angry. Angry at Melia for attacking Ren and angry at herself for not being able to get there faster. Melia somehow used the archetype to create this little pocket dimension in GDC and it took Nastasia a few minutes to figure out how to break in. It took her a whole agonising fifteen minutes to get from the Xen base to GDC. She saw the alleyway Ren was cornered in. She descended and landed in front of him.

She pushed Melia back. She had been about to grab him. Nastasia followed up with a lunge and tried to beat Melia to a pulp, but her strikes were blocked by a corrupted black archetype shield.

“What the fuck?! Get off me!” Melia screamed. She retaliated and Nastasia had to jump back. Melia was about to run at her again so she pulled out her blaster. “Not another step.”

Melia sneered at her. “So threatening… you’re in the way of my friend.” Nastasia would have laughed if anything about this was funny.

“Friend? That’s not what that looked like to me. Friends don’t try to tear others apart. You’re a monster.” Nastasia was ready to start maiming Melia right here, but saving Ren took priority and Madame X needed her alive anyway.

“Sounds like you need to mind your BUSINESS.” Melia attacked, Nastasia signalled to Deoxys to use teleport. Herself and Ren vanished.

Nastasia was regretting how she agreed to put Ren back in his organic body for that time, but she really shouldn’t. It made him happy, even if it was poorly timed. Deoxys had checked Ren’s mind and body for injuries. Strangely all his injuries had been recently healed, and at the same time his memory of the past hours had been erased. Why would this have happened? Ren was getting shot by arrows and chased not long ago, did Melia have an abrupt change of heart? That would explain all the hypocritical ‘he is my friend’ talk right afterward.

Nastasia wasn’t going to let go of Ren’s body for a while now. She’d watch over it and while he was still unconscious she was going to put his mind back into a Robo Ren body. She’d teleport him back to Sashila where his allies can tend to him further. She had her own troubles to focus on next. 

Why would Melia and Asopo suddenly change like this? Their current dispositions were very different. They both changed around the same time but possibly for different reasons. She knew from Clear, Kieren and Madame X that as the interceptor Asopo had chosen destruction. If he was committed to fighting for oblivion then why would he try to save Ren? Not that Nastasia was complaining, it’s hardly as if she wanted destruction, but it’s still strange. It’s always possible that Asopo was trying to trick Clear and Kieren, but they only offered to ally with him after they were sure he would agree to it genuinely.

Not that it ultimately mattered to her. When she joined team Xen she had a goal in mind.

She’ll find her friend, even if it means the end of the world.

[hero-deserves-to-be-happy]

12 years after the good ending of OMORI, Hero reflects on the unexpected turns his life has taken. He wasn't the same person he used to be and knew he would never be that person again. After such a devastating loss, he had truly believed he could never be happy again, but things were different now...

OR Hero finds healing and loves again (the abridged version).

Past Hero/Mari and Current Hero/Zoey (OC) Slice of Life, Romance, and Hurt/Comfort.

Rated G. Spoilers for OMORI and some discussion of canonical character death, grief and mourning.

Word Count: 4,950. Full Text Below the Cut. Link to the Work on AO3.

A/N: Both of us creators are passionate Hero/Mari shippers, but we are also huge believers that Hero deserves to be happy and that Mari would want him to be happy. He might not ever be ready to move on and might not ever want a romantic relationship like that again, but if he did, this story is just a little glimpse into what we hope it would be like. It's a delicate situation, and we hope this little story has done justice to his grief and the kinds of struggles he would experience in moving on while also realizing it doesn't mean he has to forget.

This story includes specific references to the other stories in the "When Sun Shines Again" series (particularly "Am I Ready For Love Or Maybe Just A Best Friend?"), but this should stand alone and work as a sort of abridged version and epilogue to everything else so reading the other stories is unnecessary. The cover is Mod Sprinkles' art with the title graphics free to use from Canva. Thanks for reading! ☂️

“I missed this, you know…”

With a flick of the spatula, Hero flipped the egg he was currently frying, but he smiled—turning to Zoey with warm, affectionate eyes. “Yeah, me too. It’s been too long. Sorry…” He sighed wearily as he stirred the sauce for his chilaquiles. “We used to have brunch all the time…”

His voice trailed as he thought of the pediatric PM&R residency that had been running him ragged for the past five years leaving barely any time for anything else. Gone were the days of making brunch every Sunday for his friends like he had back in college. Most days he couldn’t even find the time to make himself a sandwich.

Zoey chuckled as she tucked a piece of short red hair behind her ear. “I meant I missed you, Hero—not brunch.” As she leaned over the counter, her light, teasing laugh wrinkled her freckled nose. “I would have been perfectly happy picking something up from that bagel place down the street and just sitting here doing nothing. You didn’t have to cook for me on your only morning off this week.”

“I know, but I wanted to,” he insisted with a gentle smile as he met her green eyes. “I feel like I never see you anymore.”

“It’s okay. You’re a medical resident,” she replied in that matter-of-fact way of hers. “I don’t expect to see you.”

Hero sighed heavily. He supposed she had a point. Residency was…a lot. Truthfully, he felt like he didn’t see anybody anymore. Something guiltily coiled in his stomach as he thought about his missed calls from Kel or Sally’s dance recital he had had to skip out on. He had rescheduled on his parents about half-a-dozen times when they had wanted him to go through some boxes of his stuff they had found in their garage, and he had missed Sunny’s daughter’s first birthday when he just couldn’t get out of work.

Despite his best efforts to be present for his loved ones, he had to develop a code system to classify emergencies. These days it was nearly impossible to get ahold of him unless someone texted him “Tea Time” indicating they needed immediate assistance that just couldn’t wait.

It was Zoey’s idea, but she had never used it.  

If Hero was being honest, that made him feel particularly guilty. He couldn’t stand the fact that he felt spread so thin he didn’t have much left over to give her. She didn’t seem to mind though—usually shrugged it off with insistences that she was busy with her own career too, her dream job: building bridges as a civil engineer. Perhaps that was part of what worked for them. She was so independent—never needed what he couldn’t give her, but that didn’t mean he wanted that for her. He couldn’t help but feel she deserved so much better, so much more than what he had to offer…and not just in terms of his time and attention.

“You have to work again this afternoon, right?” asked Zoey pulling him out of his thoughts. When he nodded, she added, “Just don’t wear yourself out, okay?”

“I’ll try my best.”

As he turned to crack another egg, he caught sight of Zoey’s hard hat on the counter. “Do you have to work today too?”

She shrugged. “Technically no, but I said I’d swing by the building site.”

“In this weather?” Hero’s brow furrowed as he glanced out the window watching the violent pattering of the rain against the glass. “It’s really coming down out there.”

“It’s fine. I have an umbrella.” She waved her hand dismissively motioning to the corner where she had placed the familiar red umbrella she had let him borrow the night they officially met twelve years ago. It was hard to believe it had been that long. “Besides you know I don’t mind the rain,” she added with a smile. “And this helmet’s water resistant.”

“Nice hat,” Hero gently teased—the slightest twitch of a smile curling in the corners of his mouth as she playfully nestled the thick plastic rim into her short red hair.

“You really do love this hard hat, don’t you? You want to try it on or something?”

Hero laughed but shook his head. “I’m not sure it would look nearly as good on me.”

Zoey’s lips curved into a teasing smile. “Oh but everything looks good on you, Mr. Prince,” she quipped, and Hero couldn’t stifle his laugh at her use of the rather cheeky nickname she had given him back in their undergrad. He was honestly surprised it had stuck around this long—though these days she only used it when she was playfully teasing him. “Even those bright green scrubs. I’m going to miss them when you’re not a resident anymore, you know?”

Hero chuckled but sighed as he adjusted his shirt under his apron—medical resident green as Aubrey probably would have said. He had honestly forgotten he was wearing scrubs right now as he had been planning to change into different ones right before he left for the hospital, but they had been the only thing clean in his closet. He really needed to do laundry though he didn’t mind scrubs and definitely hadn’t minded the color. Still he conceded, “I think the lab coat will be better. Just a few more weeks of these. It’s honestly kind of hard to believe it’s almost over.”

Zoey chuckled then dryly teased, “What are you going to do with all that extra time?”

Hero tilted his head. “I have a few ideas…”

“Is one of them getting a good night’s sleep? Because I think you should bump that up to the top of the list.”

“Yeah…” he chuckled before giving the sauce another stir and flipping his eggs. That wasn’t exactly what he had in mind. Instead he felt a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he thought about his Mamá Alma’s engagement ring he had recently picked up from his safety deposit box at the bank. When his grandmother had given it to him years ago, he had honestly thought he would never use it, but despite his protests that he could never love again and her beautiful jewelry would waste away in a vault forever, she had just patted his cheek calling him ‘concinerito’ just like she used to do when he was a little boy and said, ‘El corazón hace espacio’—‘the heart makes room.’

For a very long time he hadn’t really believed that or at least, hadn’t really understood it, but, as unbelievable as it was, things were different now.

Zoey had been his best friend for over a decade, and he had loved her for years without realizing it or, rather, without being ready to accept it. Even though everyone they knew would have insisted it was a long time coming by the time he had finally asked her out for a cup of coffee three years ago, it still didn’t seem real. When Mari had died, Hero had genuinely believed he never would and never even could feel that way about anyone ever again, and truthfully, he had been planning to never really move on. But…there was just something about Zoey. To this day, he still couldn’t even begin to describe or explain the way he felt about her—the way she made him feel things he didn’t know he could feel anymore. The way her smile healed something in him. The way he could look into her eyes and see a future, a life he had never imagined was possible for him anymore. The way she made him believe he could be happy again—made him believe he could love again.

There was no one else in the world like her. She was brilliant, driven, and really spunky—a little rough around the edges but so empathetic, so much softer than she wanted people to know and an amazing friend. Back in college when he never would have imagined he would eventually date her, they used to stay up until all hours of the night making sandwiches and drinking tea whenever their fraternity and sorority hosted parties and they’d just talk for hours about anything, everything. She was so passionate, especially about bridges and her dreams of wanting to build them someday. Hero could have listened to her talk about it forever even though he didn’t know the first thing about engineering. Perhaps even more than that, she was easy to talk to too—had this way of seeing through him. It was vulnerable but safe. He found himself telling her things that he could never tell anyone else—things about himself, his life, his family, and his past: mistakes, regrets, fears, even his grief.

He’d never forget the first time he told her about Mari. It was the first time that he had ever told anyone who hadn’t known her about it, and he didn’t know what to expect, didn’t know what she would say. In his wildest dreams, he would have never imagined she would cry for him, hold him, tell him that she wished he had gotten to have his “forever” with her. He was so moved just thinking about it, and to this day, he could barely believe that someone could care that much, could love him that much after everything. It was more than he felt he deserved. And she deserved everything—deserved so much more than he had to give her.

He would give her anything, everything that he had to give—would do anything to make her happy, but he couldn’t help but worry it wasn’t enough. Even though he loved her in a way he had never believed he could love someone again, the truth was his heart was a lot more broken and bruised than it used to be. He was a lot more broken and bruised than he used to be. He just wasn’t the same person that he was before, but he desperately wished he could be that person for her, the kind of person she deserved—someone whole.  

“Hey, you okay?” she asked with a slight tilt of her head and a kind smile. Hero nodded.  

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just feeling a little sentimental, I guess.”

“Don’t tell me you’re going to miss all the insane hours and marathon shifts?” she teased, and Hero chuckled, somewhat grateful she didn’t quite know what he was getting sentimental about.

“No. I’m definitely looking forward to having a normal schedule for a change and consistent days off.” Or so he hoped anyway…but he didn’t add that part. Instead he turned off the stove’s burner and poured his salsa over the plates of tortillas, then topped with fried eggs before he handed one of the dishes to Zoey.

“This is delicious,” she said between forkfuls as he took a seat across from her at the table. “Though I expected nothing less from you.”

Hero’s mouth curved into a bright but almost bashful smile as he scratched the back of his neck. “I’m sure it’s not that great. I’m kind of out of practice…”

Shaking her head, she rolled her eyes at him somewhat affectionately. “I can’t imagine what ‘in practice’ would taste like,” she quipped before she took another bite with a satisfied hum. “Do you ever think you could’ve been a chef in another life?”

Hero chuckled lightly, but he shrugged as the slightest smile twitched in the corners of his mouth. “I wanted to be—back when I was a kid…” He paused, sighed. He knew she already knew that—already knew everything about him, but she didn’t seem to mind him repeating himself. He could feel her hand reach across the table to gently cover his until their fingers intertwined, until he looked up at her and met her bright green eyes—inquisitive but kind…and knowing as if she could see right through him and understood the bittersweet weight behind those words. As she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, he squeezed her hand and added, “But I don’t want that anymore...”

“Think you’d be even more stressed as a chef?”

“Probably.” His lips twitched before he took a bite of his chilaquiles. “And you’d see even less of me.”  

Hero couldn’t help but smile at the way she stifled a laugh as she caught his dry joke. Zoey tilted her head at him. “What do you want now?” she asked, as if she didn’t already know the answer.   

His cheeks grew warm as he thought of that ring again, but he dryly quipped, “A good night’s sleep.”

She laughed aloud this time—her smile reaching her green eyes until she bantered, “Well don’t set the bar too high. Gotta keep those wildest dreams in perspective, you know? Make them attainable.” Despite the dryness of her delivery, she couldn’t quite hold back her smile. As Hero laughed, her expression softened. “You really do deserve some rest, Mr. Prince. Just because you can function on three hours of sleep, doesn’t mean you should. It shouldn’t be a dream—it’s pretty fixable.”

“You’re starting to sound like Kel…”

Zoey shrugged. “I’ve always said Scotty’s got a lot on the ball,” she said using the nickname she had given Kel over a decade ago on account of his penchant for fixing things. “It’s good advice, and I’m not just saying that because he agrees with me.” The tines of her fork scraped against her plate as she finished the last bite. She stared at her empty plate with a thoughtful hum. “Maybe I should head out—give you some time to take a nap before you have to work this afternoon.”

“You don’t have to stay, but I don’t think I’m going to sleep if you go so…don’t leave because of that.”

Zoey smiled but sighed. “Wishful thinking on my part, I guess.

A loud crash of thunder clanged outside the window, and she frowned. “I had better get going though—head over to the site before the weather gets any worse.”

With a brisk nod, Hero rose from his seat to help Zoey clear her dishes. “I’ve got it,” he insisted, but she somewhat playfully wrestled her plate away from him with a pointed frown.

“You cooked. I can clean up.”

As she quirked an eyebrow at him and crossed her arms, Hero sighed. He knew this look. It meant there was no point in arguing with her—not that he was much of an arguer to begin with. Still, he gently insisted, “At least let me help. It’ll be faster with both of us.”

Zoey teasingly rolled her eyes, but she shrugged. “If you insist…”

Hero nodded, grabbing his used pans and utensils and joining her at the sink. It was a little like déjà vu to be honest given how often they had done dishes together back in college—though Hero would be the first to admit it was much faster and much easier with a consistently functioning dishwasher.

As if she could somehow read his mind, she quipped, “Well this is familiar…” as she rinsed off their plates in foamy, soapy water. Chuckling, he gently nudged her with his shoulder as reached for a sponge to start scrubbing the remnants of fried eggs off his pan, and she let out a breathy laugh. “Can’t say I missed dishes too much—though they were always more fun with you.”

“Pretty sure that was you actually…” His mouth twitched into a kind smile. “You always thought of great things for us to talk about to help us pass the time.”

He could feel Zoey shift beside him, and she sighed as she intently scrubbed at the stained rim of the saucepan. “You know, there actually was something I wanted to talk to you about today…”

Hero hummed glancing at her over his shoulder as he loaded the silverware into dishwasher. “Oh?”

“Yeah, I wanted to ask you something…But you have to promise me you’re going to be honest.”

“Of course,” chuckled Hero, but Zoey didn’t laugh.

“I mean it. Don’t just say it’s fine because you think that’s what I want to hear.” She paused, and Hero could feel his face flush. “I don’t want to cross a line.”

His brow furrowing, Hero stopped loading the dishes and turned to look at her—meeting her eyes. “Zoey…” His voice hitched, and he could feel his hands trembling even as he tried to calm his breathing. “Is everything okay?”

She nodded with a slight, reassuring smile. “Yeah. Everything’s okay. I just…” Her voice trailed. She wouldn’t look up from the saucepan she was cleaning. “Do you think I could visit Mari’s grave sometime…?”

Hero froze. Of all the things she could have said, he would have never expected that. She had visited there with him several times in the past, but it was always as support for him when he was going there anyway. She had never asked to make a special trip before. It surprised him, but it didn’t necessarily feel like a bad thing.  “Uh…yeah. Sure,” he stumbled running a hand through his hair. “I um…Gosh, I don’t know when I’m going to have another day off but when I finally finish up this residency and get a more consistent schedule I’m sure we can…”

“Hero,” she cut him off. “I meant, could I go alone? Would that be weird for you if I went to visit her sometime by myself?”

Something twisted in Hero’s chest. He didn’t know how to feel—didn’t really know what to say to that. It seemed so unexpected, but he didn’t think he had a problem with it. After all, Zoey knew a lot about Mari—not just from him but from Sunny and Kel too, even Aubrey and Basil. He supposed it could make sense that she might want to visit her…but the truth was, he really couldn’t understand why.

Unless…

He swallowed hard—biting down on his lip. He couldn’t even think it.

“Hero?” He felt her hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off. “Just forget it okay? It was a silly idea. There were just some things that I wanted to say to her, that’s all, but if it’s weird for you, I don’t want to cross that line.”

“No. No, it’s okay. It’s not weird for me, if that’s what you want to do. It’s just…” His voice trailed. He didn’t have the words for what he wanted to say, the question he wanted to ask. In a way, he was almost scared of it—scared of the answer. The truth.

He had tried to avoid it all this time. While he had told her a lot about Mari, he had tried so hard to keep it focused on him and his grief—on how he felt when she died, how he had blamed himself, how it had wreaked havoc on his relationships with the people he had cared about most, how it nearly destroyed him and how he had never thought he could ever be happy again. But she popped up in his stories sometimes and he had told Zoey the most basic things about her that she was kind, smart, and talented, she played piano and was cheerful and warm, the kind of person you could always count on to be on your side or to brighten your day oftentimes just by smiling because when she smiled you would’ve sworn the sun shined brighter.

Zoey knew that he loved Mari, that a part of him would probably always love her. It didn’t seem to bother her at all, but it had been so hard for him to make peace with that in himself. Even now, there were times when he second-guessed himself, felt guilty that his heart was so broken and bruised—that he couldn’t give her everything that he felt she deserved. He desperately wrestled with the fear he wasn’t enough, with the feeling that it wasn’t fair to her that despite how much he loved her and would have done anything for her it would be impossible for him to ever say that she had been the one and only love of his life. He was terrified that she would feel slighted—that she’d compare herself to Mari and feel trapped in her shadow, feel like she was only a second choice or a last resort.

His heart ached when he thought about it—thought about how he could never be the kind of person that Zoey truly deserved: the person he had once been, in that other life before Mari’s death, but that person had died with her and no amount of healing could ever bring him back. There was so little he had to give anymore though he would give Zoey the world if he could. It was so hard to believe his painfully pieced together heart was worth much of anything—even though he loved her with every inch, every crack, every crevice, ever bruise and broken edge of it. He loved her more than he had ever imagined he would or even could love someone again. It wasn’t better or worse or more or less, just so different from the way he had loved Mari. He just wasn’t sure that was enough.

And now…he didn’t know if she was sure either. What else could she possibly want to say to Mari without him there than that she was just playing second fiddle, just taking her leftovers, just standing in as a last resort.

 “Zoey, I…” Hero’s eyes burned as the words got caught in the back of his throat, but he eventually choked out a rambling, probably incoherent, “You know I never wanted you to feel like you had to compare yourself to Mari. I…If I’ve ever done anything to make you feel like…like you—like you’re…like you’re only a—”

“Stop.” She cut him off firm but kind. Hero bit his lip, but he wouldn’t look at her. He couldn’t. “Look at me,” she said, but when he couldn’t bring himself to, her thumb traced gentle circles across his cheek. “Henry.”

He inhaled sharply, and something fluttered in his chest at the sound of his real name. She rarely ever used it—only when she wanted to remind him to stop being a “hero” and take care of himself or, he supposed, in times like these when she really wanted to get his attention. It had a weight and a gravity which was only intensified the minute he finally looked into her eyes and she said, “You have never made me feel like a second choice.”

He finally let go of the breath he was holding. In relief, his eyes fluttered closed, but he bit his lip. “I’m sorry…”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” she insisted. “You know how I feel. We’ve talked about this.”

They had. Multiple times. But that didn’t ever take away the nagging feeling in the back of his mind that “You shouldn’t have to…”

Swallowing hard, he took a shaky breath and turned away from her. His shoulders twitched as he stared down at his hands with a bittersweet smile. “I just…I want more for you.”

“More than the perfect man? I’d really like to see that…” she quipped dryly. “And I’m flattered, but I don’t think that’s possible, Mr. Prince.”

His mouth curved into a smile in spite of himself, but he could feel his face growing warm. “I’m far from perfect…” he sheepishly insisted, rubbing his hand across the nape of his neck. “And…” His smile faded. “I’m serious, Zoey.”

“So am I.” Her voice was matter-of-fact—honest, but an affectionate smile curved in the corners of her mouth. “There is no one else like you. You know I still field calls from my old sorority sisters asking how I managed to bag prince charming.”

As Zoey teasingly rolled her eyes with a shake of her head, an awkward, disbelieving chuckle escaped Hero’s mouth. He buried his blushing face in his hands as Zoey continued, “Of course, I never dignify that with a response, but…” She shrugged. “If I did, the answer is really, ‘I have no idea.’”

Hero laughed in spite of himself, feeling very guilty for it, but Zoey didn’t seem to mind—just chuckled lightly herself and smiled at him until her expression and her voice softened. “Jokes aside though I…I honestly didn’t think it was ever going to happen. Not that it couldn’t—just that…I didn’t think you were ever going to be ready.”

He nodded. The truth was he hadn’t either.

“No one would’ve blamed you if you weren’t. I definitely wouldn’t have…Moving on—being ready for that…that’s all you. That’s your choice.” She paused and met his eyes. “And you chose that—you chose me. And that means more to me than the idea of us being cosmically destined soulmates or the one and only love of your life. I don’t need that. I don’t even want it, and I don’t want someone who can give that to me. I only…want to be with you.” Shaking her head, she laughed at herself muttering, “That’s so corny…”  

Hero reached out his hand to her—pushing that one wild strand of hair out her face and pressing his palm to her cheek. “Mi vida…”

As she glanced up at him, he could only hope that the look in his eyes conveyed the deeper meaning of those words—conveyed everything he wanted to say every time he called her that. He didn’t use it often—didn’t really use terms of endearment much anymore. It felt wrong to call her the same things he had called Mari. He never called her ‘honey’ or ‘sweetheart’ or his most precious name for Mari, ‘Mi corazón’: ‘my heart.’ But Zoey and only Zoey was ‘Mi vida’—‘My life.’ She liked it well enough—thought it was a pun because of her name. Zoey. Life. His life. A life he never dreamed he’d be able to have.

“I love you,” he said, and her bright green eyes smiled at him.

“I know you do. And you don’t have to try to prove it to me by pretending Mari never existed.” She broke away from his gaze and glanced over his shoulder at the cluster of old photographs of him and his friends hanging on his living room wall—memories of that other life and who he had used to be back when Mari was alive. It had been Zoey’s idea to hang them up, and she said now exactly what she had said then, “Moving on doesn’t mean having to forget, Hero.”

His heart ached at those words, and he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest. He wasn’t sure how long he held her until she sighed, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. I didn’t mean to upset you. I won’t go.”

“No, I think you should,” Hero insisted. “I mean…if that’s something you want or need to do.”

“It is. But not for the reasons you think…” She sighed. “Not because I’m comparing myself to her or anything like that. I guess I just…I wanted to reassure her that I’d take care of you. That’s all.” She pulled away from him with a soft, affectionate, smile. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s…really good.” His eyes grew misty, and his voice hitched. “Thank you.”

Her smile brightened, and it reached her eyes. He knew that she understood those words meant infinitely more than what he had said.

“Hero…” she began. “You know I love you, right?”

He nodded, but he couldn’t hold back the smile that tugged at his lips. “Yeah.”

“Can I ask you one more thing?” she asked with a slight shrug of her shoulders.

“Anything.”

She tilted her head, pursing her lips together. “And you promise you won’t take it the wrong way?”

He swallowed hard—his hands beginning to shake again, but he managed, “I promise.”

Zoey took a deep breath—long and heavy. She stared at the picture of Hero and his friends in Faraway Park back before Mari had passed away—back before they were jaded, broken, before they had to learn how to be happy again. “Do you think she’d be happy for us?”

Hero’s chest ached, but a bittersweet smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. He thought about the last time he had visited Mari. He had gone alone—stopped there after he had picked up his grandma’s engagement ring from the bank. He had wanted to know the same thing. It felt strange to look for that reassurance—to look for some kind of sign when he knew Mari couldn’t really answer him. But Mari had found a way. When he had told her about his plans—asked if she would be okay with that, there was strong gust of wind. It blew a twig off a nearby tree that hit him in the head. He had laughed. As if Mari was trying to tell him what a silly question that was—especially when he already knew the answer.

He hugged Zoey again—glancing off over her shoulder out the window where the sun was peeking through the clouds even despite the rain. As a certain warmth spread through his chest, he blinked the mist out of his eyes and whispered, “I know she would be.”