#on the list of things i will never get over

[ladycthonic]

I’m gonna add some on here because I’m basically black pilled now and watch independent media like watching the apocalypse unfold like a live documentary of the fourth reisch. Thank you brain for making me learn about politics, philosophy and psychology. I hate men and mankind.

Yt women married to immigrant partners are anxious and scared that their SO will leave the house and never return because they got lifted by ICE. FAFO

Immigrants who voted for Trump are either in hardcore denial and think only the immigrant that commit crimes are getting lifted, only for them to FAFO and watch their friends or themselves get deported

Gays for Trump fucking learned the hard way at how vicious and hateful MAGAts really are towards the gay community. Shouldn’t have been a bunch of fucking pick mes. Tokens get spent dumbasses. FAFO.

Indigenous people who voted for Trump are now watching their own get deported. I don’t fucking know where they are going to go? Back in time I guess. FAFO.

Farmers in Texas, Florida and California are reporting a FUCK TON of their workers aren’t showing up to work anymore. Tanking their business and the agricultural industry meaning that grocery stores are about to have a lot less food on the shelves and the prices are gonna skyrocket.

EVERY MAINSTREAM MEDIA PLATFORM AND NEWS OUTLET HAS BENT THE FUCKING KNEE TO TRUMP AND ARE EITHER SHITTING PROPAGANDA FOR HIM OR ARE FUCKING REFUSING TO COVER THINGS.

The gaming community which is still super misogynistic, racist, phobic, bigoted and proudly ignorant are fucking sweating because a list of games are gonna possibly get banned. Since Tencent is a Chinese company, all their game roster is on the chopping block. Including Arcane and Elden Ring.

Some state legislators are floating ideas of “bounty hunting programs” for their citizens to report immigrants. And with the new Riley watever act, undocumented immigrants can be lifted off the streets without due process. So they WILL BE ARRESTED WITHOUT TRIAL AND SENT TO A DETENTION CENTER OR JAIL REGARDLESS OF IF THEY ARE OR AREN’T CRIMINALS. (They usually aren’t.)

Which led to the US deporting a fucking U.S. veteran. Which just goes to show that no one is safe. They aren’t looking at your fucking papers. They are looking at your skin color and the language you speak.

Trump made gender alterations impossible to passports so that either straight up halted the passport renewing for trans ppl all over the country or made it near impossible to get one period. So if you wanted to flee, nope.

Trump was actually serious about Greenland because he called the president of Denmark and they had a fight. If Trump takes Greenland then NATO will dissolve.

Canada and Mexico are now engaging in trade wars with U.S. and all of Latin America continue to refuse the importing of deported immigrants. Colombia (which is already dealing with a civil war) just sanctioned the U.S. so they might collapse into a worse situation. Panama is protesting and getting ready for possible invasion.

AND THE ENTIRE WORLD IS PROTESTING TRUMP but now that America has its own iron curtain and we are basically being trapped in a controlled and surveillance riddled bubble, NO ONE HERE KNOWS ABOUT THE WORLDWIDE PROTESTS.

If you wanna know the real news and stick it to mainstream propaganda media then lemme suggest some channels on YouTube, some even have links to Twitch. I personally watch:

MeidasTouch, Secular Talk, RebelHQ, Brian Tyler Cohen (liberal), David Pakman (liberal), The Majority Report w/ Sam Sedar, The Serf Times, Damage Report, Occupy Democrats, Democracy Now, The Bitchuation Room w/ Francesca Florentini, Luke Beasley, Aaron Parnas, Adam Mockler, NowThis Impact, Pink News, The Humanist Report, LBC (I personally really like James O’Brien and he does comment on US politics a lot), Really American, Political Punk, Indesputable w/ Dr Rashad Richey, Denims TTV, The Sloan Zone and of course Vaush and Hasanabi (my two favorites)(Vaush actually got me to canvas for Kamala & Hasan beefs a lot with right wing, centrists and traitors a lot).

Avoid The Young Turks or whatever the fuck they’re called now. Anna if a fucking terf and Cenk I’m pretty sure was always a blue Republican but now he’s wiping the blue off. Also AVOID POLYMARKET. It’s a fucking gambling den where the bets are on politics, it’s fucking disgusting. Some (David Pakman) are on Polymarket. I sometimes like Pakman’s reporting but I can’t ignore the Polymarket scheme. Also MSNBC is okay but don’t forget they are mainstream media and they weren’t too keen on reporting until AFTER Trump won. Support your local Costco and buy Ben & Jerry’s.

elon musk did a nazi salute twice at the inauguration, and republicans are defending him.

trump revoked executive order 11246, which prohibited discrimination.

trump put all dei employees on leave to be fired.

trump banned all lgbtq+ flags from being hung in government buildings.

trump rolled back biden’s executive order to lower prescription drug costs for people using medicare and medicaid.

trump rescinded the $35 cap on insulin, and prices are expected to rise to $1500 a month.

trump ordered the national institutes of health to cancel their review panels on cancer research.

when sean hannity asked trump about the economy, he said “i don’t care”, after campaigning with the economy as his main talking point.

trump has withdrawn the us from the world health organization.

trump is ordering health agencies to stop reporting on bird flu and halt publications of scientific reports.

trump has pardoned over 1500 people who stormed the capitol on january 6th.

trump changed mount denali back to mount mckinley.

trump signed an executive order to rename the gulf of mexico to gulf of america.

trump shut down cbp one, an app which granted legal entry to 1 million+ immigrants.

trump is allowing ice raids at churches and elementary schools.

trump announced plans to declare a national emergency at the us-mexico border.

trump signed an executive order to expand the use of the death penalty.

trump disbanded the school safety board that works to prevent school shootings. it was comprised of survivors, educators, and gun violence prevention advocates and formed after the school shooting in parkland.

trump withdrew from the paris climate act.

trump revoked all protections for transgender troops in the us military.

trump rescinded executive orders made by biden that benefited and protected women, lgbtq+ people, black americans, hispanic americans, asian americans, native hawaiians, and pacific islanders.

trump is attempting to make it legal to refuse to hire or fire pregnant women.

multiple state legislators are drafting bills to allow the punishment for abortion to be the death penalty.

trump pardoned 23 individuals convicted under the freedom of access to clinic entrances (FACE) act for their anti-abortion activism, including oftentimes violent protests at abortion clinics.

trump signed an executive order allowing deportation of foreign students who they believe express support for hamas or hezbollah.

trump announced that the us government will from here on out only recognize male and female as sexes. intersex is not legally recognized anymore.

trump refused to swear on the bible during his inauguration.

andy ogles drafted a constitutional amendment to allow trump to be president for a third term.

georgia republican congressman mike collins called for the deportation of new jersey born mariann budde, the bishop who urged trump to “have mercy” on the lgbtq+ community and immigrants during a service at the national cathedral.

amazon revoked protections for lgbtq+ and black employees.

every single republican told us we were overreacting. trump swore he had nothing to do with project 2025 yet continues implementing details outlined in it. not a single person has the right to tell us we’re being dramatic anymore.

hope the possibility of cheaper eggs and gas was worth it.

[babyleostuff]

⸻ first date with performance unit

[ 🍵 ] how they would spoil their partner, what they would be like taking them out for the first time & what they would plan to make them feel special

jun

place: cat/dog cafe

what they would do to make you feel special: he’d have your coffee/tea order + favourite baked goods memorised (to the point where if they didn’t have what you’d usually order, jun would know what you’d take instead)

what they would be like taking you out: jun would be the epitome of sweet and precious, because mans wouldn't be able to stop smiling. seriously, the grin he'd have on his face would be low-key concerning because how can someone smile for that long, but at the same time, he'd make you feel so at peace and comfy with his gentle persona

“they are so us,” jun giggled and pointed at two cats trying to claw each other's eyes out. 

you shook your head and took a sip from your cup. if it was anyone else you’d start wondering if they even liked you, because comparing you to a rather aggressive cat was not on your top 10 compliments list, nor was it something you’d like to hear on a first date.  

but the boy in front of you was far from “anyone else”.

“you’re feisty,” jun pointed at the black cat, “just like her.” 

before you could think through what you were about to say next, you blurted out, “well, at least now we know who’ll wear the pants in our relationship.” 

it was safe to say that jun looked like an angry tomato for the rest of the date.

hoshi

place: laser tag

what they would do to make you feel special:  if you’d end up on opposite teams, soonyoung would do anything to let your team win (he’d be so proud in thinking he was being sooo sneaky about it) because seeing you happy is so much better than winning (you’re the only exception though, anyone else - the fight is on)

what they would be like taking you out:  this man is too unpredictable to know for sure how he’d act, but generally speaking it could go either two ways: 1 - soonyoung would be filled with so much energy, beaming with happiness and just so much affection for you that you’d have a hard time knowing what he’d even be on about (lovingly), 2 - he’d turn into a stressed little guy that just wouldn’t be able to believe that he’s on a date with you??? you gorgeous creature said yes to go out with him??? no one pinch him, because if it’s still a dream he doesn’t want to wake up. this version of him would be quite quiet, but in a soonyoung way quiet

“stop!” you laughed, quickly looking back to see if hoshi was still running after you. 

and running he was. more like charging at you at full speed, to be honest, with a fake gun in his hand and devilish grin on his face. 

“you’re not going to get away this time!” he yelled back, getting closer to you with each step. and there was no way you’d outrun him, na-ah. 

“it’s not how you play this game,” you said and bursted out in a fit of laughter, as soonyoung wrapped his strong arms around your frame, engulfing you in a sweaty hug. 

“i don’t care,” he giggled, pulling you closer. “the game is over for me anyway, now that i’ve got you”. 

mingaho

place: painting class

what they would do to make you feel special: he’d be the best listener. i know that is the bare minimum, but at the same time the bare minimum is in hell so… yeah. you’ll never meet a better listener than hao, who could sit on the uncomfortable wooden chair, covered in paint and listen to you for ages

what they would be like taking you out: such a gentleman, to the point where you start wondering if it’s not a dream. gentle, funny, kind, understanding, charming - you could go on for forever trying to describe minghao. all of that said, though, hao would honestly be so so nervous, because come one… so many things could go wrong… and he seriously liked you. like really really liked you.

“how the hell did you manage to get your paints to look like that?” you pointed at hao’s palette that was full of pretty colours, unlike yours. unfortunately. 

“hm?” he mumbled and looked over at your station. you could see the smile forming on his gorgeous face, but since he was the textbook definition of a green flag, whatever you want to call it, he quickly composed himself and pointed at the paints in front of him. “just mix this and this.” 

“uh, yeah,” you huffed, “i did the same and mine looks like shit. literally.” 

this time he couldn’t help but laugh. “let me help, yeah?”

dino

place: a board game cafe

what they would do to make you feel special: he’d try his best to play all of your favorite board games, because one thing about chan - he sucks at understanding game rules (seriously, all of his brain cells would be sweating to understand the game). so it’d truly be heartwarming how this precious boy would try so hard to understand what would be going in front of him. 

what they would be like taking you out: stressed. and. nervous. as. fuck. he just doesn’t want to mess it up, okay? chan knows he’s handsome and pretty and funny and charming, BUT IT DOESN’T MATTER!!! all of his rational thinking flies out of the window whenever he’s around you, and “what were you saying, i was too busy staring at your beautiful eyes”. shakes like a leaf the whole time. 

you could clearly see a question mark forming above chan’s head, as you tried explaining the rules for the third time. usually, you’d be quite annoyed at the person for still not getting what you were saying, but he looked so adorable, with his big puppy eyes and all, that you had to stop yourself from cooing out loud. 

“i’m sorry,” chan said, looking down. “i’m just not the best at understanding games.” 

you leaned over the table and put your hand over his. his head whipped up so quickly you wondered whether he didn’t pull a muscle doing that. 

“it’s okay, channie,” you smiled at him. “we can play something else, y’know?” 

he shook his head, and scooted his chair to sit closer to you. “no, no. let’s try again. i promise i’ll get it this time”.

[aliceinborderlandsquidgame]

Baby come home | Salesman x Fem!Reader

Summary: He wants you at his home. Where you belong.

Warnings: Manipulation - Toxic!Relationship - Possessive!Salesman - Stalker!Salesman - Suggestive -

He wants you by his side the moment he has his eyes on you for the very first time. Did he hear weeding bells ? No that was probably a part of him that was dead long time ago.

But did he want to possess you in every way? Heart ? Soul ? Body ? Yes. He wanted that and more. Be the one who brings you joy, who makes your world, you only need him in that. Just you and him together, no one else.

But he has to play good. He is good with words, he is a natural manipulador, he is good looking, he knows how to flirt, how to move. He knows how to get anyone on his bed and even make them do things they would never do if asked by other person.

But he is not anyone. And you are not a body he wants to use and leave behind.

No. Thats why he changes is game play. He is softer, little touches, dates, random texts, gifts, whatever a good boyfriend does to get his gilfriend happy.

And you are, after all he got a good list of your information. He knows your work hours, likes, dislikes, he is a second shadow in your life. You just dont know it.

At first its a casual meeting at the coffee shop you usually go. He catches your eye as a drinks and looks down over a book.

The same book you are currently reading.

Its fate? No, he knows you love books and got the information that you were reading this one at the time. Its a good thing to set common ground. A way of connect with you.

Its lovely how you fall for him. He sees it on how you act around him. At first you are just atracted to him by how he looks. But its the little acts he does, likes sharing his umbrella with you, paying for your drinks, walking you home when its too dark, opening the door for you, kissing your cheeck and letting his hand there like he is waiting for you to jump at him.

Its a pull he does, waits for you to give in to him. When you two are official things move well. The next step its to live together. He wants that so badly, after having you for one weekend he realizes how his home really feels like one when you are present. Besides it would save you money and time. But he can see how you seem not ready for it.

He gets it. Living alone does give you a sense of freedoom, but he cant let you have that. No when your company makes him feel so good. And he can compensate you, once you move in with him you will forget what living alone felt like. You will love him so much and crave for him so much...

You just need a push. Maybe getting some nasty neighbors would do the trick ? He gets the worse couple to move right next to your aparment. You never see them but fuck do you hear them all the time. Your sleep hours start to deteriorate so much.

The Salesman does not take vengeance on them (yet) because he is the one who sent them and also, he gets you to stay at his home more often. Being able to wrap his arms around you at night and see you on mornings.

Yes he will punish them later. For now they can live.

But its not enough. He should have know better. After all you have been facing life alone for quiet some time.

Raising the price for the aparment you are paying ? That does seem to do the trick. Everytime you two meet you look so stressed but you refuse to accept his money.

"I cant ask you for that. Its my problem to deal with" You said giving him back the wones he had offer you earlier. "Besides you let me stay at your aparment enough...and you dont even let me clean afterwards, im taking too much from you"

Oh love of his life! You can take all from him. And its not enough how many days and nights you stay. Not till it becomes a forever.

He now knows he must make things...worse. It will hurt you, but he is going to be there for you. With open arms and your favorite flowers, ready to bring back up yourself and pull the pieces together once again.

Thats why he needs you to get fired from your job. It does breaks him when you call him crying over it. How it was your dream job and how someone blamed you for a mistake you did not made and now you were jobless.

It just needs time till you cant afford rent any longer. And the shame of returning with your parents its too much. Besides he has whisper in your ear multiple times how good it would be to live together. How you could decorate his house (after a small comment on how plain it looked), how you two would be able to see each other more (not that you need to know he has hacked your phone and knows where you are 24/7) and how much money and time it would save you (He already has a company who wants to hire you...at least till he convinces you to stop working all along).

He is in heaven when you finally move in. Most of your old forniture was sold since he said he did not have space for it. But in reality he wants you to pick new one. Maybe he can help with it even if he was never good at decorating.

The sight of his wardrobe with now your clothes besides his ones makes his heart beat fast. Its criminal how many times he has smell them when you are not home, almost falling asleep with one of them as he imagines the future weeding you two will have.

You two now have matching cups for the morning coffee, something he does find a bit cheesy but he also likes it. Specially when he comes out from the shower and sees them together alongside some toasts.

It feels right, it feels good. He knows he does not deserve it but he was never fair to start with.

"Here Love you should pick a new color for our bedroom" He gives you his phone so you can look over the different colors

"But...I thought you liked how it was?"

"I believe my life its too grey already. A bit of color wont hurt. And its yours too, its natural you get to pick at least that"

Him going to the most expensive stores to check for a new bed, couch and more. He wonders if he should ask you or keep it as a suprise.

Him not letting you go on mornings and making you late (no that your Boss would ever say a thing if he values his life). He cant just let you go off from the bed, your smell and heat are his favorite things. And if he feels like he needs to give you a remind on who you belong to....

Well its a funny sight seeing you go to work walking funny. And with more makeup to cover up the different love bites.

If he feels mean he is going to Force you to keep his cum inside you for the rest of the day. And he just knows when you let some get out. Too bad he will have to fill you up again.

He cant wait to make you his wife. He already has you living with him. Your old aparment was now a memory. You had said to him how much you did prefer living with him, his aparment was bigger, neighbors that were not loud and him.

He admits his heart did skip a beat when you told him how happy you were when being with him and knowing that you would always see him at the end of the day.

Oh, of course you would. From now and for the rest of your life.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

Him seeing where you live and thinking how much better you deserve

[gs29]

The First Kick

Squid Game Master list The sun was low in the sky, casting a warm, golden light over the city. Jun Ho sat in his office, the files in front of him a stark contrast to the vibrant world outside. He was always buried in paperwork, and though it felt monotonous at times, it was his job—his responsibility. He ran a hand through his hair, sighing as he looked at his phone for the tenth time in an hour. There were a few messages from you, but he hadn’t gotten the chance to respond yet. His heart softened whenever he saw your name flash on the screen, but he knew that if he kept replying, he’d get caught up in the warmth of your words and not finish his work.

It wasn’t long before his phone buzzed again, this time with a call. Your name lit up the screen, and his heart skipped.

“Hey,” he answered, his voice tinged with a quiet warmth.

“Jun Ho,” your voice was soft, but there was an undeniable excitement there. “You’re not busy, right?”

“I’m never too busy for you,” he replied, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he glanced at his colleagues, who were all focused on their own work.

“I think the baby just kicked,” you said, breathless with joy. “I swear I felt it. It was tiny, but it’s the first time I’ve felt it. It’s real, Jun Ho.”

His breath caught in his throat. He hadn’t expected this. He was used to being the one who did the protecting, the one who made things happen, but hearing your voice, filled with wonder and joy, made him realize that there was something bigger than anything he had ever faced.

“You felt it?” he asked, his voice suddenly tight. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” you said, giggling a little. “I swear. I thought it was just gas at first, but it wasn’t. It’s like a little tap, right in the middle of my belly. Our baby. I can’t believe it.”

Jun Ho closed his eyes for a moment, trying to absorb the flood of emotions that overwhelmed him. The baby. Their baby. Their child was growing inside you, and it was real. More real than anything he had ever imagined.

“Hold on,” he said quickly, standing up from his desk and grabbing his jacket. His colleagues barely looked up as he walked briskly past them. “I’m coming home.”

“Wait, Jun Ho,” you said, your voice softer now, almost teasing. “Don’t rush. You’re at work—”

“I’m leaving,” he cut you off, his voice decisive. “I’ll be there in twenty minutes. Just hold on.”

He didn’t wait for a response, ending the call and heading out the door. His heart was racing—not out of anxiety, but out of excitement. The baby had kicked. The baby. He had heard you talk about it before, but hearing you actually experience it was different. It was something visceral, something real. And now, he couldn’t wait to hold you, to touch your belly and feel the life inside you.

Jun Ho barely noticed the ride home. He was lost in thought, his mind replaying the moment you had described, imagining what it would have been like to be there. He could picture you—sitting in the living room, hand resting on your stomach, eyes wide with wonder as you experienced the first real sign of their child’s presence. The thought made his chest tighten. How had he gotten so lucky?

When he arrived home, he practically rushed to the door, fumbling with the keys before finally getting it open. The moment he stepped inside, he saw you sitting on the couch, looking up at him with an expectant smile.

“Jun Ho, you didn’t have to—”

“I had to,” he said, dropping his jacket on the chair and kneeling in front of you. His eyes softened as he reached for your hands, gently lifting them to his lips and pressing a kiss to each palm. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for the first kick. But I’m here now. I’m not missing anything else.”

You smiled at him, your heart swelling with affection. “I was thinking about you. I wanted you to be here when it happened.”

He reached for your belly, his hands trembling just slightly. He had never thought of himself as the emotional type, but there was something about the life growing inside you that made him feel things he couldn’t put into words. He leaned his forehead against your stomach, his hands resting on either side, and he closed his eyes.

“What’s it like?” he asked softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

“It’s… hard to explain,” you said, your voice full of wonder. “It’s like a flutter. Like someone’s poking you from the inside. But it’s not painful. It’s just… amazing.”

He nodded, as though he could feel it too. He wanted to experience that connection with the child—his child—just as deeply as you did. His hand moved gently over your belly, his touch tender and reverent.

You watched him with a fond smile, feeling a warmth spread through you at the sight of him. His eyes were closed, but he looked so peaceful, so focused. It was rare for Jun Ho to let his guard down like this, but you could tell that this moment meant everything to him.

Then, just as you were about to speak, you felt another small flutter beneath your skin. It was subtle, but unmistakable. You gasped, your eyes widening. “Jun Ho, it’s happening again!”

His eyes snapped open, his expression intense. He quickly placed his hand over the spot where he’d felt the first kick earlier, waiting. His heartbeat seemed to match the rhythm of yours, his hand tense with anticipation.

And then, it came. A tiny but unmistakable tap against his palm.

He froze. His hand pressed against you more firmly, and he leaned in closer, as if to reassure himself that it was real. His eyes were wide, filled with amazement. “I felt it. I felt it!”

You laughed softly, a tear escaping from the corner of your eye. “I told you.”

Jun Ho looked at you, his expression softening. There was a depth to his gaze, a rawness that made you feel like he saw right through you. He wasn’t just looking at you, but at the life you two had created together.

He gently kissed your belly, his lips brushing over the spot where their child had just kicked. “I’m so proud of you,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “I’m proud of both of you.”

Tears welled in your eyes as you gazed down at him, at the man who had always been your protector, your rock—and now, the father of your child. “We’re going to be a family, Jun Ho,” you said, your voice breaking with emotion. “A real family.”

He nodded, his eyes glistening as he stood up and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close. “I’ll do whatever it takes,” he said quietly. “For you. For our family.”

And for the first time in what felt like a long time, Jun Ho allowed himself to truly feel. He wasn’t just a police officer or an investigator—he was a husband, soon-to-be father, and in this moment, that meant everything.

The baby kicked again, a gentle tap, as if to say, I'm here, too.

Jun Ho smiled, pressing his hand against your belly once more. This was just the beginning. And he couldn’t wait to experience it all with you by his side.

[andreabaideas]

Lots of them. Here comes my list of Florence + The Machine songs :

Cosmic love : the first song I knew of her. Thanks to a Twilight fan vid edit.

Daffodill : I LOVE the change of vibe in the song so sudden. I got introduced to this one because a Harry Potter marauders era fanfic (about Narcissa Black).

Florida!!! : technically It isn't a Florence's song, Its a Taylor Swift ft Florence song... But to me It feels more like a Florence song than a Taylor song, even if Its Taylor's...It's just the vibes, If It makes any sense 😅.

Girl with one eye :

So creepy, so catchy and edgy. Great american southern gothic vibes . I would put It on every single (nowadays setting) Vampire fiction show and film ever.

Seems to me like a conversation between an assaulter and Its víctim (about to get a revenge) to me, I dont know if i'm right, just my reading... so original & different.

Heavy in your arms : Total banger .

" This will be my last confession

I love you never felt like any blessing

Whisper it is like it's a secret

Only to condemn the one who hears it

With a heavy heart "

It completely slaps !!!!

Howl : another banger.

" Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers

Starts so soft and sweet and turns them to hunters"

Hunger : and another banger!!!

" Oh, and you in all your vibrant youth

How could anything bad ever happen to you?

You make a fool of death with your beauty, and for a moment

I forget to worry"

June : love this song. Just love It!!!

It has Djats vibes (like a song written by Daisy for Billy). Its very Daisybilly coded. Like...

" The show was ending and I had started to crack

Woke up in Chicago and the sky turned black

And you're so high, you're so high, you have to be an angel

And I'm so high, I'm so high, I can see an angel

...

In those heavy days in June

When love became an act of defiance

Hold onto each other

...

You were broken-hearted and the world was too

And I was beginning to lose my grip

And I have always held it loosely

But this time, I admit

I felt it really start to slip

.....

I'm always down to hide with you.

I think Daisy Jones and the Six writter got inspired by this song (song IS from 2018 and book from 2019)

King : feminist.

And the Line : " I never knew my killer would be coming from within" is a haunting one.

Mermaids One of my fave songs ever. Party. Poetry. Dancy. Indie. Its wholesome to me.

My love : Love and time lost. A classic

Never let me go : LOVE It. Plus the videoclip features Jamie Campbell Bower, Who I LOVE.

No light no light : Another of my faves ever.

The whole song Its a poem, Its a vibe, Its just amazing!!!

Over the love : Best thing about the modern film of the Great Gatsby Its this song tbh.

Queen of peace : so cool. Love it

Rabbit Heart (raise It Up) : Alice in wonderland with a human turning into Vampire vibes, cool. "This IS a gift / It comes with a price..."

Seven devils : Another classic banger. Eery poem. Witchy vibes. My gothic teen self adored It.

Shake It out : The classic of Florence. Everyone knows It. And for a good reason.

Ship to wreck : love the song. Like a comforting chaos. Love the videoclip like the fkat Its asinking boat. Just love It.

Silver springs cover Technically a Fleetwood Mac song. Unpopular opinion : I like It better than the original, I like both. But I like the way Florence songs It better.

Spectrum Sounds spiritual, and

" Say my name / As every colour illuminates/ We are shining/ And we will never be afraid again" those lines live in my head rent

St jude : Cool. Another song that reminds me of Daisy Jones and the Six like...

" St Jude, maybe I've always been more comfortable in chaos // And I couldn't keep my mouth shut, I just had to mention// Grabbing your attention//St Jude, the patron saint of the lost causes"

The end of love "I've always been in love with you//Could you tell it from the moment that I met you?" Lives in my head rent free

Which Witch : And it's my whole heart// While tried and tested, it's mine// And it's my whole heart//Trying to reach it out// And it's my whole heart// Burned but not buried this time// I'm on trial, waiting 'til the beat comes out.

No more explanation needed.

ok what’s your florence + the machine song. mine is rabbit heart (raise it up)<3

[heart-writesss]

it had been 2 weeks since you originally met connie. you guys had been casually texting which turned into being on the phone multiple times a day. conversations just flowed so easily between you guys. it was never a moment of awkward silence for you guys. connie loved your positive energy and hearing you ramble on about the things you love. hearing your sweet giggles over the phone weren’t enough anymore he had to see you soon.

you were at home tidying up when your music paused meaning you were getting a phone call. walking over to the phone you say it was connie calling. you smiled big before answering.

“hellllloo pretty girl.” connie cheeses when you pick up the phone. he loves seeing your smile whenever he calls you little petnames so he makes sure to do it often. he was sitting at home bored and just wanted to hear your voice. “so what are you doing?” connie asks and you begin listing all the little things you had to do around the house. water your plants, mop the kitchen, do some laundry but nothing too crazy. before you could finish he says a set of words that almost make you audibly gasp. “so do you think i could come over? y’know just to hang out.” and before you could think about it you had already said “yes.”

it was 2 hours after you and connie had spoken and 1 hour until connie was supposed to show up. from the moment you hung up the phone you’d been freaking out. connie in your home was absolutely mind boggling for you to process but you had no choice but to get ready. you took a shower with all your best smell goods and did a little shaving for extra precaution. not that you planned on doing anything crazy. this was a simple friendly hang out. right. you put on a pair of black oversized sweatpants and a white tank top. as you were refreshing your curls you heard a knock on the door involuntarily you squeal. looking in the mirror you double check your appearance and take a few deep breaths. it’s kind of embarrassing that you were so nervous about a guy coming over at your big age but it had been a while.

you and connie were sitting on your couch with the tv playing but neither of you were paying it any attention. when connie first came in it was crazy to see this tall man covered in tattoos in your pretty pink apartment. he came in and admired your decor he thought to himself how he couldn’t have imagined a more you looking home. all the little knick knacks and plushies everywhere suited your vibes so well. it was just very cozy. sitting across from you on the couch he was able to admire your features better than over the phone. the way your cheeks looked when you smiled or laughed. the way you spoken with your hands. the intense way you look at him when he’s speaking showing you’re really listening. you had connie feeling a way he had never felt before. and it was just the beginning.

“why are you looking at me like that?” you ask connie who’s been staring at you as you rambled on about your doll shelf that was by your tv. he was watching you talk with a look on his face you couldn’t decipher. “no reason.” connie responds with a smile. a few beats of silence linger in the room.

“c’mere” connie almost whispers. without protest you made your way towards him and he took over having you straddle his lap. you and him sat face to face. you were certain he could probably hear your heart pounding in your chest. despite the nerves you felt your bodies seemingly fit together perfectly as if you had been made for each other. connie’s hands roamed aimlessly across your back and over your hips somehow ending up underneath your tank top. still no one broke the silence. when connie looked as if he was going to say something you took a leap you were surprised by yourself. you leaned forward and pressed your lips to his. it took connie no less than a millisecond to catch up and follow suit. your hands made their way around his neck and your hips began to against his. pulling apart to catch your breath you look at connie and get out a breathy , “hi.”

connie had officially accepted you were going to be his and you knew in your mind you wanted the same.

[redwingstan]

"you know what we are. you just want to hear me say it." with bucky please!

debts paid - bucky x reader insert

author's note; thanks for your request, anon! hope you like it! (I may make a part 2 with this one!)

"So, what are we?"

Bucky grunted, a response you got when he didn't know what to say, or when he was just playfully annoyed. This time you couldn't tell which one it was.

"What happened to not asking questions?" He said as his back remained to you. He was hunched over the balcony, looking below at the bustling streets filled with people heading to their destinations.

"The same thing that happened to no secrets," you mumbled, shoulders dropping as if the miniscule book you held in your hands weighed a ton.

There was a rule you both had agree upon back in the day—a two for one special that kept your relationship—friendship, whatever—thriving: If you were both honest from the jump, there was no need to ask questions, no need to harbor secrets.

Looks like you both were breaking the rules tonight.

Bucky did a double-take as you stood next to him and nudged the little black book against his bicep. It took him a second or two to realize what it was. When he did, he took it before as if you hadn't already read the contents inside.

You sighed and looked straight ahead at the skyline. "I don't know whether to be relieved that you didn't forget about me," You sighed. "...or offended that I'm the last person on that list."

Granted, you didn't even bother skimming the list hard enough to recognize any of the names. You didn't even know what the list meant. You only managed to see your name—your first initial and last name scrawled at the very bottom— and that was enough for you to confront him about it.

Gently, he settled his hand on yours as he shoved the book into his back pocket.

"You weren't supposed to find this—"

"To be fair, I didn't have to go looking for it. You don't have much furniture."

Bucky's apartment was desolate save for a tv, and whatever bundle lay in the corner of what was supposed to be the living room. No furniture, not even a coffee table was in sight. The book happened to be laying on his makeshift bed made of disheveled blanket and jacket.

Bucky sighed as you pulled your hand away from his. You turned to head inside, but he made another quick attempt at your wrist. This time with a more firm grip. You spun around, though made no effort to close the space between both of you. Bucky took it upon himself to step forward, his grip on your wrist transferring to your hand. His thumb ran over the back of it in remorse.

"Okay," he said with a heavy sigh, eyes softening as he looked down at you. "I'm sorry. I know I should've been more honest. I know I should've found you sooner." He lifted your hand and gave it a soft kiss before lowering it. "Forgive me? Please."

"Under one condition," you said, appearing unphased on the outside in regards to his gesture of affection. He knew it was one of the things that worked to settle your nerves.

He lifted a brow in curiosity before lowering your hands, though he didn't let go of them.

"I get to ask three questions," you stated, chin lifted in defiance.

"One," he argued.

"Two," you countered, taking a step forward with a subtle grin on your lips.

Bucky's brows furrowed. "One."

You narrowed your eyes in defeat. "Then my question still stands." Your eyes traced his tired face. He looked beaten, like he had gone more than hundred rounds with the world. The bags under his eyes indicated a lack of sleep. The rough stubble crawling across his jaw made him look more rugged. His hair was cut short—a stark contrast to the longer dark locks you were used to. Six years had certainly done a number on him.

With a sigh of your own, you gave his hand a squeeze. "What are we, Bucky?"

He groaned in internally, though it wasn't out of annoyance, you knew. He wasn't the best at talking about his feelings, but you never held that against him. At least after years of not seeing him on account of The Blip and a year after, you believed you were owed an explanation to this question. A question you had been holding on your tongue since the moment he told you he might not be coming back.

His gloved thumbs traced your hands as he gently tugged you towards his chest. "You know what we are. You just want to hear me say it," he said.

You grinned. "I do," you said tilting your chin upwards with a lifted brow.

With dark eyes, the infamous Winter Soldier stroked your cheek. He placed a kiss on your temple.

"I can't be the only one to say what we are," he sighed, "but I know that you're one of the only people I can trust, and losing you again would be another devastation I wouldn't be able to bear." He stroked your cheek gently, eyes looking everywhere but at you. Your fingertips migrated over his stubble and guided his eyes back to your face. The Winter Soldier gave you a look of surprise before his lips settled into a subtle smile.

He kissed your temple once more.

"Does that answer your question, doll?"

[rauspberries]

still a friend. - s.r.

sure hope it was one hell of a kiss, my friend.

spencer reid x bau liasion!reader.

summary: after your new boyfriend turns out to a murderer, spencer will do anything in his power to help you smile again.

tags: afab reader, sunshine x sunshine, mentions of guns, kidnapping, murder & other themes present in criminal minds, panic attack, hurt/comfort, forced proximity that’s not forced at all, i like to imagine it as later seasons reid [however there's no mention of prison arc], still a friend by the backseat lovers

word count: 3.1k

notes: ok hear me out. think about the episode 'lucky' and the episode 'penelope.' that's what i'm going for here. this is my first ever time writing spencer. it took me days. free me.

hey @reidswrld

If you closed your eyes tight enough, you felt like you were still there. Cold metal pressed against your temple, harsh words in your ears, the pull of rope against your wrists. Despite the familiarity of your home, decorated in low lights and multiple potted plants that were loved like your own children, you had been afraid. He had turned it into a place of fear, a spot for nothing but bad memories and bloodstains in your carpet.

It had been almost three weeks since your team had pushed into your apartment, only to be met with the sight of you bound to your dining room chairs, your boyfriend of only a couple weeks holding a handgun to your head. You loved those chairs, and had told the whole team about them right after you had purchased them. They were thrifted, hand-carved by an artist you never had the pleasure to meet. Shame that you’d never be able to look at them the same anymore.

Your boyfriend had been an idiot. A psychotic one, but an idiot all the same. He had left too much evidence behind with his three victims, making it too easy for your team to profile him and pick him out of their list of names. Once you had accidentally let it slip that the BAU was on the tail of their suspect, you had become a problem, needing to be eliminated. So he had tried.

You had worked as a liaison for long enough to learn a few tells of body language, or the original signs of psychopathic behavior. Despite this, you had missed all of them when it came to him. You had been too excited to find someone that could handle your busy and erratic schedule, someone that loved you for you, something that was rare in this day and age. You had even let his passive-aggressive demeanor slide, along with the comments that always tended to sting somewhere deep inside.

After he had been taken down by Morgan and Hotch, you’d wanted out of your apartment as soon as possible. JJ and Garcia had packed up your stuff based off of a small list you provided them once your hands and voice had stopped shaking. They had whispered in your presence, keeping secrets about the case to each other and asking if you were okay. They hadn’t needed to whisper – your ears hadn’t stopped ringing.

For a while, you stayed in a hotel, curled in the cool sheets that smelled like nothing as you stared at the plain walls, so different from the house you had turned into a home with wallpaper and pretty colors. For a while, you chastised yourself for not getting over it faster. You thought about how you should be stronger in times like these, especially with everything you saw on a daily basis in your job as the BAU unit’s liaison. Unfortunately, it was a lot easier to compartmentalize when it wasn’t happening directly to you. 

You weren’t like everyone else on your team, you couldn’t just act like these things didn’t happen.

You tried to trick your brain into producing serotonin. You attempted to shower every morning, eat three meals, even exercise in the seclusion of your hotel room. But every shower ended with you staring blankly at the wall, every meal went untouched, and once you were on the ground, you couldn’t get back up. 

As normal protocol, you were given a minimum of three weeks of leave in the wake of the event. For the first week, everyone took turns checking on you. Penelope brought you fun-colored stress toys that collected dust on the side table, while Emily and JJ sat with you to chat about anything but what had happened. 

And Spencer? Spencer brought you company. He sat at the desk chair in the corner, long legs stretched out as he babbled about anything and everything. Sometimes, he sat there quietly, only speaking up to ask you if you knew the answer to a certain crossword question. Usually, it was something easy, something he already knew. Like, a passionate declaration, like in marriage vows – the answer was too obviously avowal.

Each time he visited, he left a book for you, annotations directed towards you scribbled in the margins and tabs marking the parts he thought you’d like best. The first book, Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen, had a scrawl on the author’s dedication page, with Reid noting both opinions and facts about the book. You felt your lips twitch with the ghost of a smile as you read the definitions of both of the words in the titles and how they were related to the actual book, as you read the words and the facts the doctor had written in the blank spaces.

After a week of Spencer stopping by every day before and after work, you gave him the extra keycard to your room that you had been given when you checked in. A lot of the time you didn’t have the energy to crawl out of your bed, so it made it easier for you. Despite having the key card, he still always knocked, waiting on some type of verbal sign before actually opening the door and stepping in.

One night, he stopped by your hotel room, a take-out bag looped over his forearm as he rustled in his bag for the keycard. Once it was curled between his palm and fingers, he lightly rapped on the door, leaning his head closer to it to listen for your voice calling for him to come in. His brow furrowed when he was only met with the sound of your room’s AC unit and the faint sniffles it attempted to cover.

Immediately, he had bursted into your room after sliding the key card into the slot above the knob, long legs getting him to your bedside as soon as possible. His eyes had softened as he took in the sight of you sitting up, arms laced around your knees, which were pulled up to your chest defensively. Your eyes were dark, sullen, the whites of them red with irritation from pushing away tears. Even your breathing was erratic, chest rising and falling quickly until it sounded like wheezing.

Spencer had pulled you practically into his lap, your fingers gripping at the soft material of his sweater as his large hand ran up and down the expanse of your back. He had murmured soft words that didn’t quite register to you, however were soothing all the same, as he pressed your hand to his chest, letting you feel the steady beat of his heart.

Once you had finally been soothed properly, your breathing evening out as his hand slowed until it lay still on your spine, you explained to him that you had been woken by a nightmare, the same one that had been playing through your head for the past two weeks. Immediately, he insisted that you stay at his apartment. As if proving it would help steer your decision towards a “yes,” he spilled out facts about processing traumas, like how talking to people and reminding yourself of pleasant hobbies, along with being in a familiar place, would help with recovery.

Which is how you ended up curled up on his couch, fingers tracing the pages of the book in your lap. You had been picking through all of Jane Austen’s books since you had started sleeping on his couch, with Emma being your pick of the week. Spencer hadn’t gotten to annotating this one yet, too busy with a new case that had just come in, so you had plucked a pen off of his desk, scribbling notes just like he usually did. It didn’t matter much, since you tended to spill your opinion to him the minute he stepped through the door, however it kept your brain occupied.

Your head raises as you recognize the sound of his key in the lock, looking up and over your shoulder just as it opened. “Welcome home. I’m almost done with Emma. It’s quite amusing, less factual, so I’m not sure if you’ll like it, but it’s good.” You glance back down at the pages as you stick a receipt in the fold of the book, shutting it before continuing. “It’s about a matchmaker named Emma. She thinks she’s the best at it, especially because she set up the governess and a wealthy widower, but she ends up missing all of the signs that the men she’s matching are into her.”

As you speak, Spencer takes his satchel off, laying it on the armchair near the front door before slowly making his way towards his couch. A smile pulls at his lips as his fingers work to undo the buttons on his wrists, brow raising slightly. “You have been reading quite a bit since you settled in here.”

A soft huff leaves your nose as you settle back into the cushions, watching as he perches himself up onto the back of the leather couch. It feels wrong to be so comfortable in an apartment that’s not your own, but it’s almost impossible to not feel soothed by the dark wood that makes up his desk and bookshelves, which were stacked with books upon books of all different genres. The verdun color of the walls alongside the sets of patterned couch pillows and comfortable throw blankets were ten times better than the impersonable decorations of the hotel room you had lived in for two weeks.

“Well, you don’t have a TV, and you can’t play chess by yourself.” There’s a pause, and then you speak again. “Unless you’re you. And I’m not,” you add, pulling your knees up to your chest and wrapping your arms around them.

He folds the edges of his sleeves back towards himself, pushing up the fabric up to his elbows, revealing his forearms slowly. “Playing chess by yourself is actually the best way to learn how to play and hone your skills. Many professional chess players, such as Bobby Fischer, often play chess alone. It helps you learn the game and discover what type of player you are. It gives you more time to focus on your moves so that, in an actual chess match, you don’t run out of time before you know what to do.”

You toss the ballpoint pen in your hands at his chest, huffing in mock irritation as he easily catches it and tosses it back to you. “Good thing I’m not looking to switch career paths anytime soon, hm?” Your brow quirks slightly, your amusement apparent only in that little movement.

“That it is.” He responds, still holding a soft smile as his coffee-colored eyes soften around the corners edges. His gaze averts downwards at his fingers as he starts to tug on them, growing sheepish. “How have you been?” 

Despite the vagueness and normalcy of the question, you immediately know what he’s referring to, suddenly finding the loose threads on the blanket over your lap very interesting. “Better,” you admit, seeing no reason to lie. “The nightmares aren’t as bad as they were back at the hotel, but they’re not gone. The panic comes and goes.”

Slowly, like he’s afraid he’ll spook you, he stands back up, moving around the couch before settling a cushion away from you. He leans back against the arm of the couch as he starts working at loosening his tie, pulling it over his head before laying it on his coffee table. “Do you want to talk about it? All aspects of trauma can be lessened by communicating it to a trusted individual. Not necessarily go through it again, like cognitive interviews, but speaking more about the depth of it. How you felt, why you still feel it even after that, the direct cause of feeling like you’re still there.”

Just like that, you’re setting your book aside, knees pulling up to your chest in an attempt to shy away. It’s funny how you can know body language so well and yet not stop yourself from giving yourself away with it. Knees to chest meant a multitude of things, such as defensive posture or an intense interest in wanting to leave conversations or situations. You had to look at the situation as a whole to figure out the exact reason, or the other cues. Hunched back and averted eye contact usually indicated sadness, fear or insecurity. The rub of your own hand against your arm indicated self-soothing. It was all about the context.

Spencer notices quickly, reaching out to brush his fingertips against your kneecap. Despite the soft touch, he doesn’t speak, lips pressing in a harder line as he simply gazes at you. He’s waiting for you to speak, to take in whatever information you’ll give him. 

Looking into his eyes, you realize why people call them ‘puppy dog eyes.’ Glancing into them, you’re ready to spill your guts about just about everything. You’re tempted to tell him about the candy bar you stole when you were in sixth grade, or when you tripped someone in the high school hallway because they kept shoving into you.

“I thought he liked me.” You mumble once you realize you had just been staring at him for the past few moments, plucking at the throw blanket again as you avert your gaze. “But looking back, he was a bit mean. He’d always make these little comments.” You clear your throat as you glance towards the ceiling, blinking quickly to try and avoid the sting of tears. “Like ‘didn’t you wear that shirt yesterday,’ or ‘sure you don’t want to change’?”

As you speak, Spencer’s hand moves to cup your entire kneecap, thumb brushing against the soft spot in the middle. His touch is warm, heating up the skin underneath your sweatpants. He can practically see the words on the edge of your tongue, allowing you to continue. 

Your focus doesn’t stray from the hand on your knee as you let the words fall out. “He’d knocked on my door. It was normal. Stepped inside, let me kiss him on the cheek. Thinking about it makes me want to gag.” One of your hands lifts to touch your fingers against your mouth, tracing the line of your lips as you remember the feel.

“You can feel the change in the room when someone goes from good to bad. I didn’t think it’d be like the movies and shows, where they describe their eyes as darkening or their smile as wicked, but it is. The energy changes. It feels like slow motion.” 

Your breathing picks up as you speak. Spencer’s quick to notice it, body leaning closer towards you, like he’s prepared to catch you if you fall. Your lips part in an attempt to speak again, but the words are swallowed by a soft sob. Before you know it, you’re tumbling down a hill, heart beating faster and breathing growing quicker.

Memories, the science that comes along with them, are all one hell of a thing. Everything about them has an effect on the brain. Things like sounds, smells, textures, they’re connected to the memories. Meaning if you think about them, if you feel them, you end up right back where you were at that time and place. Like how sunshine on your skin reminds you of days at the park as a young kid, or how the smell of flowers brings you back to the farmer’s market on a Sunday after you just moved to DC. 

Thinking about what led up to you being tied up to the chair, you can feel it. The icy chill of fear that cascaded over your back, the dread that sunk deep in your stomach, even the goosebumps that traveled up your arm. They’re all there. It’s like it’s happening again.

Your vision blurs around the edges as you struggle to take in air, hand grasping at Spencer’s for any type of support. You’re aware of what’s happening, but you cannot stop it, not even as you try to take in air into your nose and out through your mouth. His voice echoes in your head, but it morphs into something different, something distorted.

You’re only brought out of your panic by the feeling of lips on yours.

Your eyes widen at the shock of it, chest still heaving as your breath evens out. Your hand still clutches at Spencer’s as you feel your entire body relax, allowing yourself the comfort of kissing him back.

After your entire body has relaxed, your chest no longer hurting with the strain of lost breath, Spencer pulls away. His eyes are slightly wide as he looks at you, studying your face for any signs of being uncomfortable. “I’m sorry. Uhm.” He clears his throat, leaning away from you as he runs his hands through his hair. “Uh, kissing. It releases so-called happy chemicals, such as oxytocin and serotonin, tricking your brain into leaving the panic behind. It also helps you steady your breathing. Nothing else was working so, uh…”

As he trails off, you reach out to grab his hand again, giving it a soft squeeze. “Thank you.” It’s not meant to be a reassurance, but it's close enough. 

You watch as the panic slowly leaves his eyes, settling into only a soft worry, although his cheeks are still dusted with a light shade of pink. “You’re welcome,” he responds bashfully, eyes still looking down at his lap.

A soft laugh leaves your lips as you reach up to brush your tears away, leaning back into the couch again. After a moment of silence, you roll your lips into your mouth before speaking. “Can we go see a movie?”

Spencer’s brows raise in surprise, the lines on his forehead from focusing so much prominent. “Like, at a theater? Are you sure?” He’s still tugging at his fingers as he speaks, head tilting slightly as he assesses all of your body language.

You smile sheepishly at him, body slowly uncurling. “Yeah. I have a tough BAU agent to protect me, don’t I?”

He smiles brightly at that, eyes softening as he glances back up at your face. “That you do.”

[derpoprime]

going to hijack this post and join freely, giving out tags to anyone who wants to join. this is a long one. i will be monologuing as if this is the wisest thing any of you will ever hear.

this bad boy dates all the way back to around 2019-2020, i wanna say. however. my username used to be "derpoisderp", with different variations depending on what social media i was on. derpoiswriting, derpoisvibin, etc. etc. the list can't be traced back. i've changed them all to the current version of it at this point, which is unfortunate history loss. sad.

back when i started out on the internet, a humble bicurious gender liberal girl of whimsy, i wanted to be approachable and easy to picture talking with. everything i did and said embodied this agenda. including my username. i'm just a derp, i used to say, i don't have beef with no one. i'm here to be dumb and love my friends. don't expect much of me was in every bio i ever had, it was imperative everyone saw me as utterly harmless.

fast forward a few years later, in the years 2021-2023, i was now looking for cooler branding (and was a tyrant evil boy on the side). i looked up the name derpo because, although an outdated word, i wanted to keep it; i know how much of a perfectionist i am, i'll never find anything else to my standard. quotev is a relatively small site. with a small userbase. there were... ~3-4 other people with the name derpo. of course, i jumped on that. i was one of the few who survived, and nobody did it like me — course there was only one way after that. i declared myself derpo prime. the prime of derpos.

i assume no one else wants the title because it's "cringe" now, which is also perfect for my core deep hatred of calling things "cringe" "bad" or saying you should never get near a thing or crowd / consume a media because you don't like what story it tells you. what voice it has. i personally am a hater of many things and will tell you so willingly and bluntly, but i believe all of those things exist with me in this world for a purpose just as important / benign as mine or a reason as explainable as mine.

for example — and i state this over and over again so people are aware — i don't enjoy sanitization or purifying or the avoidance of consuming things because "bad message / topics". but there is a whole community of people who do care about the cleanness of what they consume, clearly, i've seen them (they talk shit about south park, it's inconceivable to me). and that's a different sphere than where i am. and i like that they exist, because it makes one curious and aware that this world is a big place. humans are factions within factions within factions.

anyway. if that sounds high horsey, let it be known i consume trash drama media for fun on my offtime and avoid otome games like the plague. i am very not free from casual human overexaggeration of hate / ironic love. back to topic. i also considered potentially leaving derpo at some point, keeping prime, and jutting my name into the handle for a more "sleek, professional feel".

primolan. i just don't know if it has any personality.

Tag game🎉

Tag your moots and ask them where they got the idea for their tumblr accounts name!

For my name it was a nickname I was giving back in middleschool! One of our teacher had a system where we worked with 'wifi' eachtime we talked in class we lost a bar of the "wifi" (was a weird joke and we never held count on that) All the kids usually joked if they needed 'wifi' , they would borrow mine if they wanted to talk more. (I was incredibly shy in middle school, I only talked to like 3 people at school;^;)

They called me Ms. Wifi because of that. I just thought it would be funny if I put 'miss' instead of 'ms' because of my terrible actual wifi connection I have at home lol.

That's my story! Now moots, only if you guys want to, tell us your story.

Tags-> @slipping-lately @firequeenofficial @noagskryf @twinklstarrrr @halfbakedspuds @polterwasteist @rokushi-san @mygedagtes +anyone that sees this and wants to do this as well

[omagpies]

Recently saw your roleswap AU and I’m loving it! I have a few things I’m curious about:

1. So by my understanding Anya failed her flight certification 8 times and PE was cheap enough to be fine with that? Did she never pass? Makes sense, I’m just kinda clarifying lol

2. Does nurse!Curly also feel like he wants to try something different in his career like in canon? Did he also not have enough savings after PE went under? Did he go to nursing school or did he also fail his entrance exams?

3. What’s Daisuke’s story in this AU? Did his mom push him to go to trade school to become a mechanic? Did he do that on his own and his mom suggested working with PE?

4. It’s so interesting to me that Anya tried E-dating after getting back to earth and seemingly got rejected based on her appearance, poor girl :( but I’m kinda wondering about Curly’s perspective on this, did he have feelings for Anya while she was E-dating and just sucked it up for her?

5. I’m kinda curious about Curly and Anya’s relationship pre-crash, was it a little bit flirty like in canon? Did Anya try to approach Curly with what Jimmy was doing or was the blackmail powerful enough for her not to say a peep to anyone?

haha gonna answer all of these at once! but first here's something on 5 :)

she never passed the Official Legit certification but passed what counts for it in PE (so, certified only to fly PE vessels) and kind of sees it as her last chance to make it as a pilot. still hopes to get properly certified one day, working at PE to make the money for simulator hours and exam fees

curly actually went to a med school on a football scholarship but had to drop out about two or three years in because he started prioritising studies over practice and the money got pulled. used the money he had left to switch tracks and certify as a nurse. joined PE because space travel sounded fun but is pretty bored of it because he doesn't get to do much on a regular haul. he isn't quite as existential in this regard as canon curly because working in a people-oriented nurturing profession actually makes him feel useful, he just wishes he could be more useful ya kno? has enough savings to be able to rent a place and find a job at a hospital, so overall it all kinda works out for him if you don't count all the horrors

i think in this au daisuke's mother actually pushed him to intern as a mechanic a few years earlier than in canon, which is how he met swansea (pilot with engineering background) and got inspired enough to go into trade school. by the time the events of the au begin he is a certified mechanic though not with a lot of experience :"3

curly has had the biggest fattest crush on anya almost the entire time of knowing her (i feel like he kinda spawns in already in love with anya), so her E-dating phase is kinda rough on him (like, Very rough; mans full on wasting away from his heart getting broken in tiny ways a hundred times a day), but he is king of denying himself and putting others first so he does his best to be A Good And Supportive Roommate about it. he even tries to date other people too! but with not nearly as much gusto and it never goes far. he is too whipped

there was definitely Something. i'll expand on it a bit more in a later ask i got about captain anya, but the tldr is that she goes to great pains to Act Professional and curly is never in a million years going to confess anything. and then jimmy's arrival blows it all up and any kind of romance plummets down everyone's lists of priorities. and anya never tells curly anything -- this is her problem to deal with, and with him being jimmy's friend there is a tiny part of her that is afraid of not being believed even though she overall thinks he's a good guy :")

anya writes all kinds of things, but it's all fiction. she dabbles in poetry, but her two main points of focus in prose are a) long meandering stream of consciousness type of pieces that span generations and have very convoluted plots and interpersonal relations (think woolf's waves meets one hundred years of solitude), inspired largely by the time she had to lie there and do little more than drift in and out of delirium and think, and b) shameless smut that starts out as your run of the mill romance and suddenly changes genres halfway through (funny how life can just Change all at once huh). she never really gains a Massive audience but does have a considerable number of dedicated fans of both categories

(more roleswap au)

[yanderes-galore]

Venom won the fic poll so here's my attempt at writing him... them...? Sorry the second half is rushed... I honestly didn't have a plot in mind and just... let my mind wander.

I want to write Loki, Moon Knight, and Doctor Strange at some point for Marvel Rivals... but I'll be spacing out any other personal fics I do between requests. Like a little treat for my brain rot.

Lethal Protector

Yandere! Venom (Marvel Rivals) Oneshot

Pairing: Dubious

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Possessive behavior, Violence, Blood, Murder, Kidnapping, Restraints, Clingy behavior, Dubious turned forced companionship/relationship.

No matter the universe, it's hard to get used to Venom. Symbiotes have always been seen as monsters, especially in this timeline displacement event. However... this version of Venom, is one of the only ones where he's become a hero.

Eddie and Venom are one being now. They are Venom and have pushed aside their desire to consume others. For the most part, at least....

They claim they're a hero now, a protector trying to fix the crumbling multiverse that threatens to harm you all. You have even gotten involved due to your timeline merging with all the others. Encountering Venom was a concerning meeting at first...

But you'll take any help you can get.

You already have enough to deal with. You're meeting people you thought you knew only to find out they're from a different universe at a completely different time. There's two Dr. Dooms fighting, Hydra's in contact with eldritch beings, Knull is waking up, Bast is corrupted, Loki's taken over, Dracula...

You had your hands full enough as is.

When you met Venom, like many of the other familiar faces you witnessed, you were tired. Like everyone you're struggling to find a way to stop all this warring. Dealing with a symbiote was the last thing on your list....

Yet... Venom wasn't your typical ball of alien goop. They have a host and are in sync with them relatively well. You had first encountered the beast on Klyntar in an attempt to help the Guardians get Knull under control.

Like most of the wildlife on this planet, you expected Venom to attack you.

They never did, in fact...

You caught the symbiote defending you from another of its kind.

Since then you accepted the symbiote around you. As long as the beast doesn't try to eat your face, you'll accept teaming up. Speaking with the beast even allowed you to learn more about them.

The host was named Eddie. Together with the symbiote they were Venom. While once a beast that tormented Spider-Man in their universe... their connection with Knull was severed then. This lead to some... individuality.

Venom was now considered a lethal protector. Lethal you could see from just looking at them. Although, protector...?

That was a new sight to you.

You had partnered with Venom across various new locations with many different faces. You never bothered considering them a threat. After all, there were worse things to consider.

It also meant you never quite had enough time to process the changes in Venom's behavior around you.

It was hard to tell when the beast was extra ruthless. While intelligent, Venom acted like a towering guard dog around you. Many other faces you've met tended to comment on how insistent Venom is around you.

Even Spider-Man, someone who's used to Venom chasing him down, asked how you managed to 'tame the beast'.

You don't really know how yourself. You simply fought alongside the beast at Klyntar. Ever since then, the beast has followed you around.

Downtime is something you cherish in times like this. It doesn't even seem like you can get that alone anymore. Not that you really want to be alone in the places you find yourself in....

You quietly sit down in a place so familiar to your own world... yet altered. It's all uncanny to you as you try to remember what home was. Before you can, a large presence slams beside you, startling your thoughts before it comes crawling over.

"We wish to know why you are so quiet?" The beast hisses, settling behind you. You feel the protoplasm of the beast shift beside you as Venom looks down at you. You sigh, calming the tension in your body.

"I just... miss home. I see so many traces of it yet it's never the same." You admit, glancing at Venom. "I'm tired of being in danger all the time... I don't want to be alone."

"You don't wish to be alone?" The beast echoes as though trying to understand your conflict. You nod quietly, exhausted.

"I never know who's friend and who's foe. Everything's all messed up and I don't know who I can trust!" You admit, barely picking up the subtle way the beast shifts closer to you.

"Do you trust us?" The creature hisses, studying you. "We wish to trust you."

"I..." You hesitate, having trouble looking into the milky white eyes of the symbiote. "Yes, Venom. I trust you. You... haven't eaten my brain yet, at least."

"We do not plan to eat your brain." Venom growls as if offended by the idea. "You are much too..."

A brief pause is heard and you tilt your head. You weren't expecting them to hesitate as they look at you.

"... You are... inedible. We cannot eat you. We do not wish to." Venom manages to respond. You can't tell if you're offended or not until the beast shifts closer, black body sticking to your clothes.

"We only wish to protect you. Won't you let us? We are friend... You may trust us." Venom hisses, tongue lashing as they press closer.

"Uh, yeah... Yeah, you can protect me... Just... stop touching me?" You ask, pressing against Venom's chest with a hand. You immediately grimace as the black goop nearly envelops you. The beast the chuckles a growl, nodding before pulling back.

"Fine... We will give you space." The beast grins, "For now."

Protection. Trust. You didn't expect that to be a slippery slope. With how Venom stuck around you, you didn't think he'd do anything... wrong.

You underestimated Venom's words, it seems...

After all... You said you couldn't trust ANYONE, right?

....

A slimy appendage swipes across your face as you wake from your temporary slumber. The smell of something wet and metallic tingles in your nostrils as you sit up. At least... You try.

Yet the beast's black tendrils tighten on your body, large white eyes staring down at you.

You struggle to remember what happened. Your head hurts and you keep feeling something wet hit your face. After that... It doesn't take long for you to realize a tongue is hitting your face.

You struggle immediately, the beast above you growling as it tightens its hold. You can now see it's Venom who is holding you hostage once your vision returns. You struggle... but the sticky symbiote won't let you go.

"Venom, What the hell—?" You freeze when you look around yourself. The area around you stunk of blood. Traces of the red substance covered the area as you pull at Venom's hold.

You smell it on them too, the stench making you freeze on the spot.

"Scared? We took care of it. You were in danger. Danger's gone now." Venom answers in a matter of fact tone.

"Danger...? What danger? Danger where?" You try to ask, Venom choosing to nuzzle your head instead of answering.

"Gone. Danger is gone. We said we will keep you safe." Venom answers, licking their teeth as they hold you in their claws and tendrils.

You look around to see where Venom brought you. It's an alternate version of your home, you can tell that much. It looks so different... especially with the amount of blood splashed across the ground.

"... Who did you hurt, Venom...?" You force yourself to ask, heart racing.

"Who does not matter. We got rid of the danger." Venom responds simply. "We brought you home, too."

"Venom—!"

"You said no one is trustworthy but us." Venom growls, "Why do you care? We are the only ones worthy of working with you."

"Let me go, now, I can't—!" You plead, only for Venom to roar and pin you. You feel yourself stuck on the bloodied floor, four sets of claws pinned beside you while symbiote tendrils coil around your midsection.

"We will not be letting you go just to see you nearly get killed again!" The beast roars on top of you, tightening their hold. "We plan to keep our promise. You said you miss your friends... You said you miss home. We're meant to be your friend, we took you home!"

The hold is tighter, suffocating, yet oddly comforting despite the gooey texture and uncanny environment.

"We shall be your friend. We shall be your home. We... shall be yours." Venom growls, tongue dripping with saliva as they stare you down.

"You... shall be ours."

Venom was not the threat you expected to be your downfall in this multiversal problem. Many who were dragged into this may very well die. Naively... You wished Venom would've focused more on the big picture.

Instead, to Venom, there was only one goal that mattered to them now more than home...

That goal was keeping you all for themselves, for protection... at least, you can only hope that's why.

[angstywaifu]

Priority - Garrick Tavis

Anonymous Request: reader would get frustrated with garrick loyalty to xaden (hence protecting violet) and it gets all angsty because hey a girl gets insecure and she’s like “when push come to shove and its my life vs xaden, hell even violet, i don’t know if its my life you’d be saving”, but garrick redeems himself!

Masterlist | Support Me

I storm past Garrick, continuing down the hallway in the sea of riders heading to formation. I was sick of being second to Xaden and essentially Violet. So many times he had brushed me aside or left me behind because of them. Just once I wanted to feel like a priority to him. Something I hadn’t felt since Violet had bonded Tairn, putting Xaden on high alert. Which by extension, meant Garrick. I hear him calling out behind me, but I don’t turn to acknowledge him. We were under attack. And the first thing he had done is rush out of the room to get Xaden and Violet. Leaving me alone in the room to get ready.

I make it to the courtyard before Garrick makes it to me, his hand grabbing my arm to turn me around to face him. “I was calling out to you.” He tells me with a pointed stare.

I shrug my arm out of his grasp, taking a step back to get some distance from him. “I know, I could hear you.” I tell him sternly as I cross my arms over my chest.

”What’s gotten into you?” He says with a scoff.

”What’s gotten into me? Oh I don’t know, maybe I’ve finally had it with being second best to Xaden and Violet the last few months. Maybe I’ve finally had it with being so low down on your priority list that I feel like I barely exist to you any more.”

”That’s not true.” His gaze softening at my words.

”Is it? Because I’m starting to feel like when push comes to shove and it was my life vs Xaden’s, hell even Violet’s, I don’t even know if it’s my life you’d choose anymore.” I spit out at him.

Garrick just stares at me in shock, clearly not expecting me to say something like that. We kept our relationship behind closed doors, but never once had I felt like I wasn’t cared for or loved by him. But since October it had just gotten worse and worse.

”If she dies, Xaden di-”

”I am well the fuck aware what happens if she dies. We all are Garrick. We’re all looking out for them. None of us want to loose Xaden.” I nearly yell at him, causing him to flinch. “But you might have just lost me in the process.”

I turn and head into formation, not wanting to hear what else he has to say. I was getting to the point of anger where I was going to say something I’d regret or go too far. Though I might have just gone too far. I knew how close Xaden and Garrick were. Always have. But this was the first time since we’d gotten together that I had felt like this. And now I couldn’t help but wonder if I had just put the nail in the coffin of our relationship.

We were overwhelmed. Buildings were collapsing, people screaming as they tried to flee to safety. I was honestly starting to think we weren’t going to make it. We’d already lost two to the onslaught. Loud screams to my right startle me, but I have no time to react as a wall of people slam into me, knocking me to the ground.

My ears ring from the contact, amplified by the shoes that kick my head on their way past. All of them too scared to realise they’ve knocked me to the ground. I can barely register my dragon yelling in my head, unable to make out the words they throw down the bond as I try to get back to my feet. I manage to get onto my hands and knees before another shoe meets my head. My dragon continues to yell at me down the bond. I can feel their fear, panic and worry. But I still can’t make out the words they throw at me.

I push myself up again, this time being successful due to the crowd all dissipating. All but one. In the distance down the end of the street, I can just make out a blurry figure clad in robes billowing in the wind. My vision spins as I try to focus on them, my head throbbing from the effort. Shit. I’m concussed. But something tells me I need to move. Need to get to my feet and get out. But I can’t.

I try to focus on the figure again. A figure that’s much brighter in colour to their surroundings. As if the colour has drained from everything around them. I watch as the muted colours get closer and closer to me by the second. I try to stand, but my legs crumble, sending me back to the ground. I need to move, or I’m dead. I try again, grasping onto a nearby wall to try pull myself up. But my hand slips, sending me back to the ground as I cry out in pain. I roll to my side, this time the figure much clearer now my vision isn’t blurry. Watching as the Venin channels from the ground. Watching as it gets closer and closer. I have probably thirty seconds till I meet my end. Thirty seconds left and my last words to him were becoming true in more ways than one. And now I have no way to tell him I’m sorry before I’m gone. I’ll never get to take back those words.

I squeeze my eyes shut, not wanting to watch when my end will come. But they fly open when I’m pulled from the ground. I look up and see Garrick pulling me into his arms before turning and running us down the street towards Chradh who angles his leg for Garrick. Garrick doesn’t miss a beat as he runs up the makeshift ramp, holding me in his lap as he takes his seat and Chradh launches into the air.

The wind howls around us as Chradh beats his wings, propelling us higher above the chaos below as his magic washes over Garrick and I, securing us in place. I clutch onto Garrick’s flight jacket barely registering the warmth of his body through my haze of pain and fear. My head throbs with each pulse of my heart, and my vision swims, but I can’t tear my eyes away from his face. His jaw is clenched tight, his brows furrowed in concentration as he manoeuvres us out of danger.

"Garrick," I whisper, my voice barely audible over the rush of wind.

His eyes snap down to mine, and for a moment, the icy walls of detachment he’s built around himself crumble. There’s something raw in his expression. Fear, anger, relief, and something deeper that I can’t quite name.

"I thought..." My voice cracks, and I swallow hard. "I thought you didn’t care anymore."

He lets out a harsh, humourless laugh, his grip tightening around me. "Don’t care? Is that what you think? That you’re second to Xaden and Violet?" His voice breaks on Violet’s name, and his gaze darkens. "They’re my responsibility. My duty. But you—" He exhales sharply, his eyes glinting with something that looks almost like desperation. "You’re my everything. And if you ever doubt that again, I’ll—"

"You’ll what?" I manage to croak, a faint smile tugging at my lips despite the pain.

"I’ll never forgive myself," he finishes, his voice dropping to a whisper. He presses his forehead to mine, his breath warm against my skin. "You think I could survive losing you? You think I’d want to?"

I blink up at him, my heart twisting at the raw vulnerability in his voice. I’ve never seen him like this, so unguarded, so human. For all his stoicism and sharp edges, Garrick is breaking right in front of me, and it’s because of me.

"I’m sorry," I murmur, reaching up to brush my fingers against his jaw. "I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean any of it."

He closes his eyes, leaning into my touch as if it’s the only thing grounding him. "Just don’t scare me like that again," he says softly. "Please."

Chradh lets out a low growl, drawing our attention back to the chaos below. Garrick straightens, his grip on me tightening as his eyes scan the battlefield. "We’re not out of this yet," he says grimly.

I nod, forcing myself to sit up despite the pounding in my head. "I’m with you," I say, my voice steadier now.

Garrick glances down at me, his lips twitching into the faintest hint of a smile. "Always," he says.

[themoonbutspooky]

the thing is, in a fair setting, non-disabled people won't use accommodations they don't need. I really believe this. They might try out say extra time on a test but if you don't need it, it'll get annoying. Sitting around in the test room for an extra 45 minutes thinking over the same things you know and don't know doesn't actually improve your test score.

There's a thousand reasons someone might need an accommodation. Maybe it takes them a long time to write and those extra minutes compensate for that. Maybe they panic under pressure and they need the extra time to regulate their breathing, and calm down enough to remember what they know. They might need long enough to double check their arithmetic or their spelling so they can show that they understand the concept they're actually being tested on not repeatedly graded down for something unrelated. More people might benefit from extra time than think they might but extra time isn't universally or inherently better.

If you're reading this and thinking "hey well I would definitely take the extra 45 that would boost my score for sure!" I hope you get a chance to see if its true. Either you'll realize it doesn't help and that's one thing you can cross off the list of things to try or it will help and well ... hi welcome to the club!

This same logic works for different accommodations. For example: my cpap is a miracle but it also sucks and is awkward to use I can't imagine someone using one if it didn't help them.

The problem is settings are rarely fair. Students are routinely asked to preform under time crunches that are impossible or nearly impossible. Extra time, then, seems obviously better for everyone. SSI seems obviously better too. After all, who doesn't want free money? But like the cpap there are drawbacks. And like the extra time on tests there are unfair circumstances that might make those draw backs worth it even to a hypothetical completely well/able-bodied/neurotypical person.

I would never tell someone struggling to keep up with mutliple jobs, family obligations, debt, etc that they aren't disabled enough to pursue any deal they think is worth it just because its their circumstance and not their biology that's putting the pressure on them. Obviously in a perfect world we'd fix the whole system or build something better but in the mean time if it helps more than it hurts it shouldn't matter why. tbh that brings up a lot of questions about how we define what is and isn't a disability in general but this isn't even my original post so I'll save it for another time.

Fake claimers are a much bigger threat to disabled people than fakers ever will be.

[almostfoxglove]

SEE YOU AT THREE

chapter eighteen: NOT WEIRD

🌟 a young!joel miller series 🌟

RATING: Explicit (18+ only) | PAIRING: Joel x f!Reader / OC (Ellie's aunt) WORD COUNT: 6.6k CW: Reference/allusion to smut, YEARNING (always yearning), and so much lovesick!joel I've got a toothache.

read from the beginning | series masterlist | main masterlist

SUMMARY: Joel is tired of being a coward.

CHAPTER PREVIEW:

Hmph-ing, Sarah unwinds herself from your arms and treads into the kitchen. It was a valiant effort, really. And it takes no small amount of diligence not to go over there and take his turn hugging you, too. Hugging hello—a thing you’ve never done, only goodbye. He considers it, even gets one foot nudging closer before he swallows the urge for good. Takes that one step back, leaves the space. Can’t trust himself not to hold you too long, he thinks. Can’t trust himself not to kiss you if you’re in his arms. With Sarah’s back turned, you meet his eye and shrug, mouth Good?  He nods. Grins softly at you, because yeah. He thinks it’s going just fine, so long as no one overhears the throb of his heart.

continue reading chapter 18 on ao3.

💌 NOTE: I have officially moved away from tag lists, so please follow @foxglovenotifs and turn on notifications to get alerts for future updates!

dividers by @thecutestgrotto

[tusswrites]

Rockabye Baby (j.ww)

Wonwoo x fem!Reader

"First-time dad Wonwoo trying to navigate the ropes of parenting while missing you"

genre: fluff, humor; rating : 16+ word count: 2.1k warnings: none! credits: the littol menace @svtiddiess for helping me with the banner and beta reading author's note: this is set in the same universe as 'Bun In The Oven', but it can be read independently. written from wonwoo's pov! send an ask to be added to the tag list (better see an age in the bio)! tagging : @jenoslutie, @chugging-antiseptic-dye, @gyubakeries , @skzbangchanniee, @ariananotgrandeee, @wonufos masterlist here, domestic seventeen masterlist here

If at first he fainted upon hearing the news of the soon-to-be arrival of his offspring, he is now beyond frantic, doom scrolling in the wee hours of the morning on Reddit through multiple ‘First Time Dad’ posts. When he thinks Y/N can’t hear him, he lifts her shirt and begins to talk to his baby, he cannot be caught alive thinking he believes that shit and lose his ‘macho man’ facade. All lies, Y/N can never sleep at night, and is desperately holding her giggles at her husband’s constant whining to their baby about how mean their mom is to him. 

His aunt has given him some herbal medicine that runs in the family, vital for new mothers and despite Y/N’s bemoaning, he holds her by the neck and forces that ‘disgusting shit’ down her throat. ‘It’s for the baby Y/N’ he reminds her for the umpteenth time although he gags a little at the odd smell, that stuff is not for him, no thank you. 

At work, he is frantic, nervous, and excited all in one. When Jeonghan caught him tearing up at the back of the makeup room, rocking himself, arms tightly wound around, trying to stop his steady flow of tears, he finally confesses that he doesn’t think he will be a good father. “I never cared for children much hyung, I don’t think I have those paternal instincts to look after a newborn. I am scared I will run out on my child.” He sobs into his hyung’s arms who holds him tight and consoles him.

 “When the little one comes, you will forget all your fears. You’re not the type of person to give up on something you care about, especially not your child.” Jeonghan rubs his back gently, trying to soothe his distress. “You may not feel ready now, but you’ll rise to the occasion. Every parent has doubts, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’re not going to be an amazing dad. You’ll figure it out as you go, and your love for your child will guide you through it.”

 Wonwoo freaks out when his wife thinks she is some sort of daredevil, trying to climb on the countertop to grab a jar. “Are you crazy?” he shrieks out.

“I can’t always keep asking you to attend to every beck and call of mine. Besides, it’s not that high,” you try to reason with him, but he has no chill, pushing you gently toward the bedroom and getting you back in bed, propping your feet up on the extra set of cushions he ordered from Amazon just for you.

“I don’t care,” he counters firmly. “Until you pop out that baby, you are on lockdown. No leaving the bed, and absolutely no scaling countertops for a mason jar of pickles. I’ll get it for you—just call me. That’s why I took time off, so you don’t have to risk anything, especially not now,” he says, his voice steady but laced with concern. He smooths the blanket over you, making sure you're comfortable before settling beside you with a deep sigh.

It seems the baby isn’t the only thing he’s freaking out about—he’s also on high alert to make sure you’re okay, every step of the way. Why must you do dangerous acts this far in your pregnancy?

“I am pregnant Wonwoo, I can still walk and do things, ‘m not a doll.”

“Never said you can’t do things, baby,” he says softly, smoothing the crease in your brow with a gentle peck. “It’s just to reassure me, for my peace of mind. I don’t want you pulling any stuntwoman moves just days before Little Bun gets here. So please, for me, at least?”

He looks at you with those pleading eyes, the ones that always seem to get to you. Till the baby comes, he’s hopefully the cutest person you’ve ever seen, the one you can never say no to.

“Fine.” You huff out. “But grab me a jar of mayonnaise to go with the pickles.”

“Mayo-? With pickles? H-ho?” he sputters, absolutely stumped at your taste buds.

“Is there a problem Mr Jeon?” your brow is quirked, amusedly staring at your befuddled husband's face.

“No, no, stay right there. Mayonnaise with pickles coming right up,” he says, still in shock, but resigned. He silently prays that Little Bun arrives quickly, before his wife loses herself in yet another round of bizarre food combinations.

“And sprinkles too!” you holler from the bedroom, your voice carrying.

“Lord, give me strength,” Wonwoo mutters to himself, shaking his head as he makes his way to the kitchen, shuddering at the disgusting combo.

The day of your labor arrived very anticlimactically, if Wonwoo could call it that. There was no sudden gush of water, no dramatic screams or threats hurled at him. Just a quiet morning, like any other day. If not for him glued to your side, he daresay he might have missed it altogether. The moment you felt discomfort, he was already rushing you to the ER, completely ignoring your reassurances that it was just a false alarm.

He probably needed to celebrate this victory with a cake that said, “I Told You So,” because, yes, he was right—the little one did arrive that very day, though not without a few bumps along the way. None of the dad books had prepared him for the fact that the scrubs handed to him in the labor room were supposed to go over his clothes. After a certain amount of confused stripping, a shrieking nurse, and a hollering wife, he learned a very important lesson. There can only be one naked person in the OR—and that person was definitely not him.

The jitters came when his daughter came into the world, unperturbed and squinting angrily at him, like she didn’t want to be there. He can pity her sentiments. But the baby was not crying. Sure she was breathing, but where is that high-pitched wail the books taught him?

No amount of parenting manuals could prepare him for this moment, to see his little one clutching tightly to his pinky finger, staring at him with your eyes and his nose, and the feeling of love encompasses him. Is this someone he created? He holds you extra close, trying to hold the tears at bay. Gratitude, pure and raw, fills him—thankful for you, for this little one, for the family he has.

Some sort of humor is brought in by his mate Soonyoung who arrives at the hospital, all ready to see the newborn in a new tuxedo to make ‘ a good impression’ “This is a baby Soonie”. “First impressions matter Won-Won.” He leaves it at that, knowing deep down his mate's plan was to bag the ‘best uncle’ title.

It’s never without its mishaps however- he cannot understand the hospital staff when they give him the green light that it's time to go home. 

“Are you sure?” He persistently asks, there is no way he can ensure the safety of a being that came into the world just a few hours ago and now he is entrusted to make sure this thing is alive and flourish. What are they thinking?

Seeing that familiar tick of annoyance on your face, he supposes he has been asking that question way too many times and reluctantly picks up the baby carrier, although he is scared shitless, out of his mind with fear. He does not want to place the baby in a car seat, to your utter confusion.

“She was slimy and squiggly, what if she slid right out? He ponders. 

Assuring him that the baby will be “fine and protected,” and to further calm his nerves, you sit in the backseat too, keeping a watchful eye on your little one as Wonwoo starts the engine for the long drive home. He is not the only first-time parent here.

It took a whole day and a half before the secret was out in the open. “Wonwoo, I need to grab a bite, here hold Nabi for a second.” You hold the child in mid-air expectantly waiting for her father to pick her up.

“Just place her in the crib, she's safer there.” 

“Wons, that’s in the other room, what are you so afraid of holding your child?”

He waits for the realization to dawn on you. “Wait a minute, have you held her even once?”

“I brought her here in a baby carrier?”

I meant holding her Wonwoo, not in a carrier or rocking the crib.”

His guilty face speaks enough. “She’s just so tiny Y/N! And her head is wobbly. What if I drop her?” Why can’t you understand his sentiment? He will move heaven and earth for his daughter except maybe hold her and risk dropping her.

"Wonwoo, you're not going to drop her. Babies are fragile, but you're not going to break her just by holding her," you explain, taking a deep breath to stay patient with his nerves. You reach out, gently placing your hands on his shoulders, making him look at you. “Extend your arms”

He does, in slight trepidation.

“Wonwoo, Nabi is a full-grown newborn now, not a watermelon! Seriously, how small do you think she is? A little bigger gap won't hurt. Just trust yourself," you soothe, noticing his hesitation. 

Very gently, you place the tiny baby into his arms, and he holds his breath, afraid that if he so much as breathes, Nabi will blow away. This time, he cannot stop the tears that fall freely, privileged at the fact that she made him a father.

Yes, he knew about the lack of sleep and the constant need to change his baby. But what he did not know was that he would miss you this much. Around the clock, you both took shifts to watch the baby and rock the baby to sleep.But nothing prepared him for how much he’d miss you. The number of times he’s woken up in a state of panic because you weren’t there when he felt around to bring you closer and into his arms, only to be comforted when he switches on the night lamp and watches you half asleep, feeding his little girl. On tiptoes, he’ll pick his daughter up, the little gremlin who’s staring wide-eyed at him, and walk around the room with her, to give you a moment to rest. When you wake up in pursuit of your husband and child you see a snoring Wonwoo, holding little Nabi to his chest, both blissfully unaware of the mini heart attack they’d given you. 

Wonwoo has come to the conclusion that it's in those little moments—those quiet, fleeting moments—when he gets to have you all to himself. Three months after Nabi's arrival, he finally gets a taste of that luxury, when the little one is fast asleep, her soft breaths the only sound filling the room. Nabi is finally sticking to sleeping through the night, after listening to his fathers croons. When he returns to the living room, he finds you slumped against the couch, utterly exhausted. Your hair is stuck to your forehead, and the exhaustion is clear on your face, but there's something else there too—a quiet peace that tells him the chaos of midnight feedings and diaper changes has finally settled into a rhythm... for now. He’s not going to jinx it.

Silently moving you, hushing down your sleepy murmurs, gently lifting you, and placing you against his chest, he starts to rub your head in hopes you get back to sleep, a trick he learned early on to calm his daughter down. In this quiet, he can finally hear himself think, something he has never been able to do the past few months. His heart still thumps excitedly like it did the first time he laid eyes on you. To watch as the girl he once fell for, eons ago is now his wife and he gets to share a child with you, with the promise of having eternity by your side, he sleeps easy tonight, murmuring a quick ‘I love you’ and thank you’ as he places one more soft kiss on your cheek, forever elated that you’re his.

Alas, rest is not for the wicked. A sudden phone call on his cell has you both startled and wide awake as you rush to silence his phone.

“Why is it not on vibrate Wonwoo?” You start, angrily scrambling to sit on the phone in hopes of shutting it off, all rationality flying out the window in your sleep-deprived state.

“Shh, Nabi has still not woken up, which means she probably didn’t hear the phone ring,” he whispers as you both hold hands and painstakingly wait in agony for the jurisdiction of your child’s wailing. You are in luck, after all, she has still not woken up.

A glance at his phone has him jump up excitedly, “Yes, I won the bet to Mingyu, he owes me two tickets to see IU next month.” Unfortunately for him, his enthusiasm runs short tonight, for there comes the familiar cry from your baby’s room and a murderous look from you. “JEON WONWOO”

Uh.Oh.

Reblog, comment to share your thoughts! Goes a long way!

[pizdasi]

AND YOU DID IT AT MY BIRTHDAY DINNER

when you attended your friend’s birthday dinner you didn’t think things would get 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 with the waiter. fortunately, thinking was never your strong suit.

cw: smut (mdni), substance abuse, degradation, sex under the influence, petnames

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“tati!” your friend turned around to look for the person calling her name. when she saw it was you who called for her, a smile lit up her face. “oh my god, y/n, i can’t believe you made it!” she said while reaching out for a hug. “wow, you look amazing, and the dress? stunning, to die for!” she said as she stepped back and took a good look at you.

you didn’t want to stand out too much so you decided on the safest option - a little black dress. it had been a few years since you last had the chance to wear it though, so it had gotten a bit short, ending somewhat closer to your crotch than your knees. since you didn’t think to try it on before the dinner there wasn’t any time left for last minute outfit changes, even if you felt a bit uncomfortable.

“here’s your seat, right next to me!” tati said with excitement and pulled the chair out for you. as you sat down she stood up and tapped her wine glass with a fork. “everyone, thank you so much for coming, i’m honored all of you could make it to my birthday dinner!”

she went on but you couldn’t focus on what she was saying because something, well, someone else caught your attention.

in the corner of the restaurant you saw the staff. more specifically, your eyes focused on a waiter. you tried to look at his name tag but before you could make it out, his gaze met yours. suddenly an applause broke out. you looked at tati and realized she had finished her speech. you looked back at where the waiter had been standing and he was gone.

after a while, your table had picked what to order and tati signaled to a waiter to come. as people were listing their orders you looked up at the waiter.

it was him. “namgyu”. you had the chance to read the name tag now. he stopped scribbling on his notepad and looked at you with a raised eyebrow. you panicked a bit, could he have heard your thoughts? you couldn’t bring yourself to utter a single word. “do you not know what you want to order yet, y/n…?” tati asked with a hint of confusion in her voice after a few seconds of silence. oh, right, it was my turn to order. “uhm, i’ll have chimichangas, please.” you managed to say through some stuttering. you felt your face slowly turning red. you looked at the waiter again and saw him writing down your order with a slight smirk on his face.

“alright, anything else?” he looked around the table and left his gaze lingering on you. for a second it felt like he glanced lower than he should’ve, but you were sure you were just imagining things. it was a really fancy restaurant after-all.

you spent the next 15 minutes waiting on your food, but mostly glancing around the restaurant to see if namgyu was near. in the few times you managed to spot him, his eyes were already on you.

though you didn’t want to admit it, his presence made you nervous and your mouth water. he wasn’t even all that, but still, there was something that drew you to him. his nonchalance perhaps?

even though you tried to resist it, you couldn’t help but wonder how his lips tasted and how he would’ve felt when tasting you. you weren’t sure if you were slowly losing your sanity or just ovulating (probably both), but one thing was certain - you needed that man.

after what felt like hours, dishes were being delivered to your table by no-one other than your latest obsession. every time he put down the plates, he slowly looked at you before walking away.

finally you saw him coming over with your food. “and chimichangas, best for last. enjoy your meal.” he scoffed after licking his bottom lip and returning to his duties. your felt your heart starting to beat faster. the tension that might’ve very well just been your delusions was getting to you.

“sorry, i need to go the bathroom, i’ll be right back.” before tati could answer, you got up and quickly headed for the toilet. thankfully it was empty.

you stood in front of the mirror, leaning over the sink. as you stared at your reflection you couldn’t stop thinking how good namgyu’s hands would look all over your body. you lightly dragged your fingers across your neck and chest, imagining they were his.

“you need help with that?” you jumped while covering your mouth from shock. he was standing right in front of the door, holding it closed behind him.

the air had never felt heavier as you were trying to think of something to say, anything. “t-this is the women’s room!” you replied with a somewhat accusatory tone in your voice. “and i’m an employee here. now stop avoiding my question.” he said while taking small steps to get closer as you backed away.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about.” you said with a slightly shaky voice while hitting the wall behind you. you couldn’t back away any further but he was still getting closer.

he stopped right in front of you with his hands in his pockets, tilting his head a bit. “don’t act all shy now after you’ve been eye fucking me all night. you’re fucking stupid if you thought i wasn’t going to notice.” he said as his smile grew bigger. you gulped. it was over, you were caught. you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything so you just looked at the floor in silence.

“hey, look at me.” he said while suddenly lifting your face with one hand and lightly slapping it with the other. “open up, slut. ahh.” his thumb dragged over your bottom lip as he gestured for you to open your mouth. you were taken aback but you would be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy it. you opened your mouth and before you could react, namgyu stuck his fingers in. as he made you suck on his digits, his left hand found itself creeping down onto your chest.

“you’ve got great tits, you know? i’d love to suck on them.” he smiled widely as he lowered his face to your neck and started placing sloppy kisses all over it, leaving your knees feeling weaker and occasional whimpers escaping your mouth.

“be quiet, baby, you don’t want everyone to hear what a whore you are now, do you?” he took your wrists in his hand and pinned them to the wall above your head while his other hand found its way to your thighs. he held eye contact with a serious expression on his face as his fingers moved closer to your inner thigh.

“you like that?” he said softly while rubbing his hand over your underwear. “what if someone comes inside?” you said in between some muffled moans. “that’s what makes it exciting!” he replied with an almost insane expression on his face.

he slipped his hand in your underwear. “fuck, baby, you’re so wet for me and i haven’t even done anything yet.” he pushed a finger inside you, earning a gasp from you. he began thrusting his fingers slowly, making you feel dizzy. his hand finally let go of your wrists and your hands fell on his shoulders. he grabbed you by your neck as he began picking up the pace, looking you straight in the eyes.

you couldn’t hold off any longer. you felt yourself reaching the climax, causing you to cover your mouth with your hand to silence the noises that escaped you uncontrollably. you held onto his shoulders tighter as you came all over his fingers. as you were gasping for air in his arms, you heard the bathroom door open.

“y/n?!” tati said in shock. namgyu brought the hand that was just in you to his lips and put his fingers in his mouth, sucking them clean. “hmm, the main dish tastes different tonight.” he grinned, “my apartment is across the street.” he whispered as he leaned closer. “i’m getting fired anyway, might as well make the most of it.” he said as he walked out of the bathroom.

“y/n, what the fuck is going on? why was he in here? did he- is that why you were talking so long?” tati frantically tried to find an explanation. but adrenaline was rushing through you and the orgasm you just reached was so fucking amazing you couldn’t really think straight. “i’m sorry, tati, i have to go.” you rushed out of the restroom. “for what? to suck dick and cock?” she yelled after you, feeling betrayed, “i mean time and place!” understandably so. after-all, you did this at her birthday dinner.

you stormed out of the restaurant and found namgyu already waiting for you. “take this.” he said as he took out a pill you couldn’t recognize, “it’ll make you feel even better.” even though you had never done this before, you wanted to obey him. he was the one who had just made you feel like heaven so you trusted his word.

you took the pill a second after he took one as well. he then grabbed your face and placed a passionate kiss on your lips. “let’s go, chimi.”

the second you two walked into the apartment, he slammed the door behind you and began making out with you while simultaneously taking off his uniform. his hands found the zipper on your dress and soon after that, you were left standing in just your underwear.

“can you get on your knees for me, chimi? hm?” he said while unbuckling his belt. “why the fuck do you keep calling me chimi? my name’s-” you were cut off, “because you ordered fucking chimichangas, nobody orders fucking chimichangas.” he said while laughing akin to a maniac.

you were left speechless. to be honest, the pill he gave you earlier was starting to hit you so you couldn’t have cared less what he called you, you just knew you needed him inside you more than ever. “knees… please?” he said with his eyebrows raised and a cheeky smile on his face. you were pretty sure he was clinically insane but that wasn’t going to stop you.

you slowly got down on your knees while holding eye contact. you were about to pull down his boxers, when you suddenly heard the toilet flush. a second after that, you saw a tall purple haired man walk into the room. “yo, namsu, my man!”

“oh my god, what the fuck are you doing here, when did you get back?” namgyu yelled back at him. “my brother, i missed you!” he started walking towards namgyu with open arms. “dont fucking touch me, bro! get the fuck out, i’m trying to get fucked right now, god!” he said in frustration while pushing him away.

“no worries, namsu, i’ll be in my room if you need anything.” the purple haired guy said. “no, thanos, get the fuck out of this apartment right now. go to mina’s place or a club, i don’t give a fuck, just get the fuck out!” namgyu yelled as he pushed him out of the flat, locking the door behind him.

“fuck, i feel so bisexual right now!” he exclaimed in annoyance. “you mean bipolar?” you finally spoke up still, in the same spot on your knees. “i don’t know the fucking difference, both! fuck…” he sighed, “just open your mouth for me, angel.”

and you did. he pulled down his underwear and revealed the absolute monster cock he had been hiding. before you could think about it, your hands reached for it, stroking it slowly and rubbing it over your face. in a moment of bravery, your lips got closer to the tip and you started sucking on it as you took off your bra. “fuck yeah, baby, that’s right. take it, take all of it.” he moaned as you gagged on his dick, “such a fucking good girl. so fucking pretty with my cock in your mouth.”

after he started pushing your head, it didn’t take long for him to start whimpering. as he did, he lifted you without warning and carried you over his shoulder to his bedroom. he laid you down on your back and got on top of you, starting to lay sloppy kisses from your mouth down as he played with your nipples.

your panties were on the floor in an instant and his tounge on your clit, making you whine and grab at his hair. “yeah, that’s-” you moaned, “don’t stop!” he buried his head in between your thighs as he sucked on all the right places before getting to your tits and lightly biting your nipple.

he grabbed you by your waist and turned you around so you were lying on your stomach. “ass up.” you did as he said and arched your back. “such a pretty pussy.” his arms wrapped around your thighs, his hands spreading your ass, as he got all up in your holes, his tongue in your pussy and his nose on your asshole.

he flipped you back on your back. “you ready to take all of me, slut?” he said while caressing your cheek. you nodded in response because you weren’t able to do much more.

he spread your legs and started rubbing his tip over your clit, earning shaky breaths from you. when he put it in you cried out. “fuck, babygirl, you feel so good!” he moaned. you felt so dizzy and ecstatic you couldn’t even do anything but moan uncontrollably. you weren’t sure if it was entirely the pills fault you couldn’t control yourself because namgyu was making you feel things you’ve never felt before.

“feels… so good!” you managed to get out between gasps and moans. “you look even better when i’m fucking your brains out.” he grunted while holding your legs spread. you felt yourself reaching the climax, “i-i’m gonna cum!” you cried out. at those words he fastened his pace, “cum for me then, slut.” your hands covered your mouth as you screamed incoherent words.

namgyu felt himself about to cum when he saw you shaking and orgasming under him. he pulled his cock out of you and started jerking it. he grunted and moaned after he finally came all over your stomach. he exhaled and laid on his back next to you. “see, wasn’t that so much better than your stupid fucking dinner and stupid fucking chimichangas?”