#on the front line

[manjuhitorie]

Hitorie(ヒトリエ) - Shinoda Essay about Selfy charm via Uta-Net

　2024年6月5日に“ヒトリエ”が両A面シングル『オン・ザ・フロントライン / センスレス・ワンダー[ReREC]』をリリース！ 「オン・ザ・フロントライン」は、TVアニメ『無職転生Ⅱ ～異世界行ったら本気だす～』第2クールのオープニングテーマ。「センスレス・ワンダー[ReREC]」は、2014年1月22日に、ヒトリエがメジャー1stシングルとしてリリースした楽曲を、現体制のシノダがボーカルを務める3人体制で再レコーディングしたものとなっております。 On June 5th of 2024 “Hitorie” released a new double A-side single called “On the Front Line/Senseless Wonder [ReRec]”! “On the Front Line” was utilized as the opening song for season 2 of the anime “Jobless Reincarnation”. While “Senseless Wonder [ReRec]” is based off of Hitorie’s first major label single from January 22nd 2014, but re-recorded with the current 3 piece band and Shinoda on vocals.

さて、今日のうたではそんな“ヒトリエ”のシノダによる歌詞エッセイを2回に渡りお届け。第2弾は、自身が作詞を手掛けた収録曲「Selfy charm」にまつわるお話です。会ったこともないような誰かを想像しながら書いた、自撮りがモチーフのこの歌。主人公が対立している価値観とは…。今作と併せて、エッセイを受け取ってください。 Now, today’s song for this column will be the second essay about the lyrics from the vocalist himself, Shinoda of Hitorie, involving the hidden song on the single also written by him, “Selfy charm”. While writing he had been envisioning someone he’d never met, whilst employing selfies as his motif for his tune. Whatever could be thwarting the morals and principles of this imaginary girl…? Please pair this essay with the song to get the full picture.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

前回は「オン・ザ・フロントライン」についての話をさせていただきましたので、引き続きわたしが歌詞を手掛けた「Selfy charm」か「さくらのいつか」のどちらかの話をしようと思うんですが、「さくらのいつか」に関しては最早語るまでもないというか、あなたが聴いて感じたことが全てと思っていただいて結構ですので、ここはひとつ「selfy charm」について語らせていただこうかと思います。こっちはこっちでかなり僕にとって深刻なテーマを書いたつもりなので… Previously I had delved into the story behind the song “On the Front Line”, so next I thought it appropriate to delve into another song on the same album, meaning either “Selfy charm” or “Sakura no Itsuka”. However in regards to“Sakura no Itsuka” there’s actually nothing that needs to be said aloud, whatever you guys out there think and feel when you listen to it is the whole crux of it, and that’s all that matters in the end. Thus I’ve settled on “Selfy charm” to be the topic of discussion instead. I did write this song with the intention of portraying a fairly serious matter as well, so…

selfyってことで自撮りが歌詞のモチーフになってるんですけど僕は自分の顔が全然好きじゃなく、そのくせ仕事上ステージでカッコつけなければならない局面が多い為、ライブ中はハイになっていたり自分のことが見えてなかったりするので特に気にはならないんですが記録物としての自分を見た途端にコイツこんなツラの癖に自分がカッコいいつもりでやっていたのかと愕然することが多く、それだけで半日寝込んだりする時も余裕であったりするんですね。 Selfy is in the title so obviously the lyrics revolve around the idea of taking pictures of oneself, but the thing is that… I despise my own face, even despite the fact that my profession often demands me to act all cool up on stage. Mid-show once the ball gets rolling I do get into it and lose sight of myself so it doesn’t bother me in the heat of the moment, but as soon as I see myself in the recordings I am often left astonished. “Damn this mutt’s got such an ugly mug yet he’s really putting on airs huh,” I think to myself, then proceed to spend the next half a day sleeping willy-nilly.

ルッキズムが自家中毒を起こして苦しんでいるみたいな状態。てめー何年バンドマンやってんだ、良い加減慣れなさいよって話で、これから歳を取っていくたびに嫌いな部分なんてどんどん増えていくわけで、 このままでは憎悪の螺旋が自己に向けてねじ巻いていくばかりなので早々に割り切りをつけないとこっから先マジでやばそうだなと思ってますが、そんなもんなあ、つけられるんならとっくの昔につけられてたっつーのなあ。 It feels as though it’s lookism causing me to suffer autointoxication. “How many years have you been in a band now you moron get used to it already woncha”, I tell myself. The older I get the more things I find to hate about myself,and at the rate I’m going I’m about ready to become trapped in a wicked spiral of my own making. I realize that I need to cut it out as soon as possible or else I’ll be walking on a tightrope until kingdom come but…. If I was able to do that in the first place then I would’ve done it long ago, y’know.

そんな僕も自撮りをSNSに放り投げまくっていた時期とかあって、若気の至りとスマホを手にした喜びがマリアージュして発芽した過ちとでもいいますか、別に自分の顔を100%憎悪しているわけではなくて、好きなところはあるけど好きじゃない部分は抹消したい程に嫌、といった塩梅でして、これなら世に出せるかもみたいなレベルまで自分の顔を監修出来る楽しさが自撮りにはあったんですよね。ただインカメで反転させたまま撮るという行為に��ても違和感を感じていて、結局鏡に映った自分の顔は普段見慣れた顔かもしれないが真実性に欠けるというか、その真実性が自分自身を苦しめている筈なんだけど、なるべく嘘を発信したくないという自分のだるい部分がそれをさせてくれなくて、そのうち色々面倒臭くなって自撮りはやらなくなったのですが…結局そういっただるい部分によってスポイルされるスピード感ってあるよな～とか思ったりします。 Nevertheless even I too had a phase when I would flood social media platforms with my selfies. The heat of my youth mixed with the joy of holding a smart phone in my hands, it was like those two ideas married together to germinate a mistake. It’s not as if I 100% cannot stand my own face, there’s things about it that I do indeed like, it’s just that the more I want to eliminate the parts I don’t like, the more and more I grow to hate those parts, it’s a vicious cycle. So back in the day I had found fun in supervising my own face and capturing a selfy that was good enough to show the world. However, the whole thing with the Instagram Camera and stuff wherein you can take photos flipped from the get-go and all just feels weird to me. Like it’s true that I am more used to the face I see in the mirror, but it just doesn’t feel as true to reality if I flip the image that way. That exact reality may be exactly what inflicts upon me great pains but, the annoying thing about me is that I’m not the kinda guy to tell lies and so for that reason I just refuse to do what’s better for me sometimes. TL;DR all this crap mixed together is what’s made me stop taking selfies. I find that said annoying part of myself does end up spoiling good things pretty fast sometimes.

何か“嘘”という言葉を曲中で用いてる時点で呪いに似た衆愚的感覚が心に刻み込まれているのかもしれないと、改めて歌詞を読み返し痛感する次第です。この歌詞の主人公である彼女が対立する価値観こそがわたしの呪いのようなそれで、美しくなりたいと願い、行動し続ける彼女達に容易に浴びせられる「嘘」だとか「汚れ」といった数多の定型句が装填されたまま回る世界のある日の刹那、タイムラインに颯爽と現れ、タブレットの液晶を滑らせる指を反射的に止めさせられた一枚のセルフィーの美しさに込められた覚悟と情念、のようなものを勝手に想像している時点で到底僕なんかが追いつけないスピード感で彼女達は生きているのかもしれない、という想像。会ったこともないような誰かを想像しながら歌詞を書くってマジで謎の行為だなと思うんですが、それでも書きたくなってしまった��のはしょうがないじゃない。 The fact that I use the word “lie” so much in the song perhaps exhibits a mobocratic sensibility that’s been etched onto my heart that’s akin to a curse, or so I felt become painfully apparent after I reread over the lyrics. The girl who’s the main character of this song and her opposing values* are just like this curse of mine, she wishes she could be beautiful. She charges herself up with stock phrases such as “impurities”and“lies” that other woman so readily bask in, until one fateful moment, when as the world was going round and round something gracefully materialized on her Timeline: a selfy depicting a beauty filled with such resolve and passion that it caused the finger sliding around the liquid crystal within her display to immediately halt in its tracks. Or so I envisioned and realized that these woman are living life so fast that I could never ever dare to catch up with them. Writing lyrics while thinking about some imaginary person I’ve never met before is some really whacky stuff I think but, once an idea’s stuck in my head what else is a guy to do but get it outta their system y’know.

「さくらのいつか」に関しても、曲も歌詞も含めて果たしてこれを今書いてしまっていいのかしら、と悩んだ時もありましたが、それよりも書きたくなってしまったものはしょうがないじゃない、という気持ちが余裕で勝ったので、昨今のわたしはきっとそういうモードなのかもしれません。多分良い傾向なんだと思う。 Both this song and “Sakura no Itsuka” had me stressing for a while whether they were okay to write or not, but in the end once an idea’s stuck in my head what’s a guy to do but write it, and that inspiration won over the stress in the end. I’m just in that kinda zone these days I guess. And I think it’s probably for the better.

＜ヒトリエ・シノダ＞ Hitorie, Shinoda

[seoul-bros]

Worrying escalations on the North-South Korean Border

Post Date: 16/10/2024

[kata-4]

Story One: On the front line

“The war is in full swing, and I was captured by mistake, how stupid it was to be captured now. It’s a pity that fate has turned its back on us, but we will still retake what we have from the Grays.” Hashal "wandering cavalryman" 5th Zatuga Regiment

Introduction: The fighting on the eastern front is much hotter than expected, there is a lack of resources, the enemy has carpet bombed our supply routes. We save as much as we can, we managed to survive several elephant attacks, but at this rate there will be no one to fight, unfortunately. We settled in the trenches for several weeks, there was a lull, but does that mean that we will soon be attacked by chemical weapons. As much as I don’t want to admit it, they have no other choice, they need to smoke out people and nutcrackers, they would rather bring up tanks, they have no strength, neither to fight, nor to treat and provide assistance to those who remained in the neutral zone. War is war, but no one wants it, it’s not for me to decide what they will say, but everyone wants to live. People are freezing, unfortunately there are not enough Greek bodies for everyone, the wounded are dying like flies on a corpse, how disgusting.

*****

I am gradually starting to write my story, until several pages are ready as a background story of Khashal and his participation in the War. If anyone is interested, I will make sketches, and if anyone wants, I can then leave a link to the disk where the story will be posted in several languages: Russian/English

[egophiliac]

don't think I'm not still obsessing over 7-12

[synthaphone]

i suspect they cut the 3rd stage of the manectric line for being incredibly stupid looking, but i think they should have kept it, exactly like that with no revisions. dog that got stuck in its one of its owners shirts and is trying to act like it wants to be there and can leave at any time

[stemmmm]

the scene people keep screaming about from chapter 5 of theseus' guide

[creepyscritches]

Making a weighted velvet baikal seal plushie :3

Head and tail end are stuffed w ultra plush fiber fill and the bulk of the body is packed full of weighted pellets that have a nice crunchy sound when you squeeze it. Not weighed yet, but it feels between 1.5 - 2lbs?

[chloesimaginationthings]

Why did Charlie Emily say all that in fnaf UCN

[eeverlark]

if i think about the hunger games in peeta's perspective i WILL start sobbing

[honestlyitsjustsam]

- Anything you wanna unburden yourself with, before this… happens? - Yes. I have wishes to bestow upon you.

[manjuhitorie]

Interview with Shinoda(Hitorie) - Ongaku to Hito July 2024 Issue - English Translation

Pain, Never to Go Away

Interview by Usami Yasuyo

2024 has brought Hitorie’s 10th year anniversary with it, along with the 5 year milestone of their current regime. The pillar of the band, wowaka, passed away in 2019, leaving the grieving trio to reform the band. Their newest single, “On the Front Line/Senseless Wonder[ReRec]”, features a modern iteration of a song previously written by wowaka, on top of one song written by each member, Yumao (drums), ygarshy (bass) and Shinoda (vocals/guitar) respectively. They are by no means going against the current structure of their band, they are rather stalwart souls in regards to ensuring that nobody forgets Hitorie’s origins. That they want to remain as four forever more—That’s the exact kind of emotions poured into their new numbers. I sat down with Shinoda to talk about his current perspective come Hitorie’s milestones, thus did he reveal details about his past trauma and his low self-esteem. Afflicted with a pain that fails to ever go away, they press on. What is it like to be in his shoes?

So, Hitorie is now 10 years old��� how does that feel, what’s your verdict on the matter?

Shinoda: If it’s been 10 years since our studio debut then that marks year 5 of Hitorie’s metamorphosis. Did leader really leave us 5 years ago? Then that means… have I really been singing for 5 whole years? My mind is swirling. Along the way there was also was a 2-3 year period wherein we couldn’t operate as good old rockers due to the pandemic either so, to be honest it doesn’t feel as if 10 years have passed at all. It all just feels so complicated, and strange.

Do you mean that in regards to becoming the frontman as well?

Yeah. Since about a year ago we’ve been graciously given a fair amount of opportunities to perform in festivals and joint concerts. Thanks to them I’ve been able to watch a bunch of shows and analyse a variety of different frontmen, and you could say that slowly but surely the realization finally hit me: that “Hey, I also stand right up there too.” Up until that point I could never really get the reality that I stand center stage through my head.

You seem so ready to be the focus of attention though, I sense no hesitation in your shows and music.

Of course I’m prepared to do what needs to be done, but on the flip side for a long time I had this itch in the back of my mind that maybe I was somehow only convincing myself and pretending that I was the frontman all along. Like just telling myself “Yeah, you’re the totally the frontman, sure buddy.” I was trying to galvanize myself in a way too though, offering myself words of encouragement. Words strong enough to make me believe “Yeah, I can keep this up.” Nowadays we’re putting on heaps and heaps of shows, but the more we do it the more my weaknesses, or rather my shortcomings, become evident. Of course I’m also improving more and more with every show as well but, there’s still so much more I could be doing better.

When do you specifically feel your weaknesses and shortcomings become evident?

It all boils down to my skill level as a singer, plain and simple. The problem is that I feel I’m still a weak vocalist. I’m constantly comparing myself to people who are way cooler than me as well. Such as Maki-kun from Vanillas (Maki Tatsuya from go! go! vanillas), I just think he’s so cool whenever I see him, and I can’t help but worry how I pale in comparison.

I think there’s no reason to compare yourselves, you and Maki as counterparts both possess things each other don’t.

Hmm, I’m not so sure about that. Or maybe it’s just the way I am. My self-worth is inherently in the pits. As soon as someone or something cool catches my attention, I can’t help but immediately start comparing them to myself. A short while ago I saw the band “Mo’Some Tonebender” in Arabaki, and they were of exceptional nature, their coolness was off the charts. It made me cast doubts on myself like “I wonder if I’ll able to put on an act of their caliber when I’m that age too.” Or when it comes to the younger crowd, such as Akiyama Kiiro, when I saw his concert I thought “Wow he’s incredible, I don’t think I was nearly so capable back when I was that age.” My brain always makes it all about me and jumps straight to the negative. Yet nevertheless at the same time I do also sometimes catch myself wondering “Is there even anyone else fit to be Hitorie’s frontman?” For, it’s partly because I’m the type who suffers from anxiety that I’m able to make music. So, provided that I’m in a band, it’s practically a given for me to live hand in hand with anxieties.

On the same note as anxieties, you once before said that you feel you don’t have a clear-cut, singular core essence to yourself. Is this still the case?

Hmm, I think I’ve since changed a little bit. Last year we made an album titled “PHARMACY”, and for the promo tour we fashioned merchandise. Among them I had designed this cat plush, all just for kicks, yet somehow it took off. It started selling like hotcakes. This strange incident made something click for me (laughs). The plush has since been dubbed “Pharmacy Cat” as well. So after I heard that it was flying off the shelves, I had a revelation: now I know that I’m at the very least someone capable of selling cat plushies.

It raised your self esteem (laughs). I’m in awe that it wasn’t a song or a concert that was the catalyst, but rather a plush doll.

Yeah (laughs). Whenever I see that plush, it patches up the deficits in my heart. For I used to have nothing that stood out as “me” before.

I never got that impression though. When I read the lyrics of your song “On the Front Line”, specifically the lyrics “Get even stronger, I heard a voice say/Stuck in a world with no concept of right or wrong/My one and only heart/I give it whole to the things I want to protect”, they remind me of the exact way you, Shinoda, seem to throw yourself into the fray for the people you care about.

Excuse me, me?

Yes. That could be the reason why you were plagued with such stress 5 years ago, and why you had felt so pressured to take up the mantle to save the band. The song may have been written to be the opening song for the anime “Mushoku Tensei” but the lyrics really do feel like Shinoda manifest.

Those specific lines you mentioned, those had just popped out onto my paper thoughtlessly, earnestly, and with 0 stress involved. Maybe I actually am the kind of guy you mentioned, but, deep down part of me still feels like me being the frontman of Hitorie is just imprudent. I’ll forever be weighed down by the question of whether or not it’s okay for someone like me to receive as much charity as I do.

What exactly are you referring to by “charity”?

Being allowed to exist amongst the big names of the music industry, or sometimes being adored by my juniors, and things like that. “Should this really be happening to someone like me?” I often think. The more it keeps happening and happening, the more I want to meet their expectations; the more I’m flooded with the feeling I need to give something back. So maybe if you unravel it all far enough, the fact that I care too much for people might be at the root of it all.

What do you believe is the reason your self-value is so low?

Back in my 20s, before I joined Hitorie, I was doing music in Nagoya…

You were the vocalist for an indie band, correct?

Yes. In the end it all molded me into who I am today but, back then my music wasn’t received very well, and I felt I wasn’t loved nor needed by anyone.

I can tell you’re not the type to stay optimistic and bide your time in hopes that someone will fancy your songs one day.

Hmm. Back then I was not. I’m not a very wise person, and I wasn’t especially in a situation wherein I could take a step back and view things from a bigger perspective, I was kind of driven into a corner. So nowadays when people tell me that they’re fans of my old songs, such as Akiyama Kiiro, it makes me feel like “Wow, so everything does come back around and does serve a purpose, there was meaning to it after all.” It’s just the time investment required to finally get to this step is a lengthy one, that’s for sure.

The results aren’t immediate.

Exactly, exactly.

So after working with Hitorie, your self-esteem issues began to ease up?

Yeah, they totally did. Previously when Hitorie was a quad piece I stood on the stage as the lead guitarist, but prior to that I was composing all my songs and lyrics by myself on top of singing them all by myself in Nagoya. I was on the verge of my breaking point, at that point I couldn’t stand music that laid myself bare anymore. Until, upon joining this crazy band named “Hitorie” and becoming their guitarist, a large margin of my anxieties eased up. I was finally able to break away from 100 capacity venues, and somehow along the way turned into a rocker allowed on to bigger stages.

You have since returned to making songs that lay yourself bare, and singing them yourself as well. How does that make you feel?

Part of me thinks as if this is my karma, at the end of the day I can’t escape it. However, to be honest, my desire to sing and write songs never fully diminished even back when Hitorie was still complete, and deep down I had always hoped I would be able to do so. The only problem is the shape and form in which my desire came to a reality.

It truly does seem to be something you just can’t run away from.

Is this that thing people call fate? It circles around in the most twisted of ways. Life really is heavier than I ever could’ve imagined, when I think about.

You wrote a song for your newest single as well, and I would like to hear about your insights on it but, first before that there’s one point of interest I would like to touch upon. There’s 4 songs on the single, each written by all 4 members of Hitorie, including wowaka. Was this on purpose?

Yes. We came up with this idea in the early stages. We didn’t want to release just any old single, we wanted to take the medium called the CD and turn it into something with more oomph, more flair. Thus came the discussion of how to achieve this feat, and what you see today is the solution we conjured up. If we’re going to bring something into this world, then it needs to have a good reason and purpose. Which tied into how it’d be a problem if people forgot everything the four of us did together.

I see. The song you composed is named “Sakura no Itsuka”, and the lyrics speak candidly on your feelings about wowaka.

After we decided on our vision for the CD, the only one who didn’t have a song ready was me. I do have a stash of WIP songs which I could’ve pulled from but I instead opted to create a track from scratch. One which would represent the “resolution” part of the dramatic structure, with each of the 4 tracks respectively representing the beginning, development, climax, and resolution. For I thought it would be an effective means to strengthen the CD’s power and purpose, as I mentioned before, and to give it good justification for existing amongst our discography. I’ve written quite a few songs that tackle my feelings over losing wowaka now, that delve into means for us to cope and move on. Starting with curved edge…

That would be the first song Hitorie released as a trio.

Yes. But, unlike that single, this one has a 4 songs each written by all 4 of us so… I’m not sure the right way to articulate this but like, I felt that I couldn’t let the closing track on such a structured single just be run of the mill. I contemplated long and hard as to what exactly would be appropriate. After all that though, in the end I don’t think the song I wrote would appeal much to a special somebody (laughs).

Hahaha. What caused you to assume that?

I dunno, just a sixth sense (laughs). I just have a hunch that he wouldn’t care for the song very much. That he wouldn’t especially want to be written about nor seen in this light. For at the end of the day it’s nothing but an unelaborate ballad, to put it bluntly.

The lyrics are straightforward as well. “Yet again, a song you would probably hate/Keeps polluting the city/And yet a song you would probably love is something that we just can’t write/Something we could never write” gets to the heart of the matter, and from but a glance it’s obvious that the “you” in the lyrics must be referring to wowaka.

If he himself could hear the lyrics, I could just imagine him saying “Shinoda what happened to your alternative rock soul?” or “This isn’t like you at all?” (Laughs). “But, I can explain, everything’s been translated into the J-rock band format!” I would say back. I even refrained from overdubbing the guitar as much as possible too (laughs)! Yet the fact of the matter is that I up and used the man named wowaka as my muse. I’m worried, burdened by the fact that I’m practically expending his existence- and his absence both.

I wonder if anyone out there feels the same way though. From a third person perspective, as someone who has watched you become a wonderful frontman over the past 5 years and listened to the music you’ve created along the journey, I find it difficult to believe you’re “expending” his name, or to see it in that such cynical light.

I think there definitely are indeed people out there who think that way. To each his own, different strokes for different folks y’know. So l understand if people come to resent me over the song, so be it, I totally get it, it’s bound to happen. Yet nevertheless my wish to bring this song into the world and have it be heard no matter what won over all my concerns. What’s most important to me is for people to never forget that Hitorie was once the four of us.

[shushmal]

Steve bites back a sigh when he sees a hand waving just out of the corner of his eye, trying to grab his attention from where Steve's gazing pitifully at his drink. The club is loud, music blasting, and maybe it's a little pathetic for Steve to be at his place of work on his day off, but Robin's behind the bar and he gets free drinks. Unfortunately, the kind of guys who frequent his workplace are usually the opposite of Steve's type.

So, he's prepared, for when he looks up, to gently let down whatever club boy who's decided to shoot their shot with him tonight. They all start to look the same to him: bleached hair, glitter, crop tops and low riding pants. Men who are too much like Steve to be what Steve's looking for.

When he looks up, however, his eyes go a little wide and his lips part from around the straw against his tongue.

"Hi!" yells the guy, long hair, long legs, long fingers. He's wearing way too much leather and denim for this place, and he must be boiling under that jacket. "W-would you like to dance?"

Steve takes a longer moment to take him in: his shoulders hunched up around his ears, fingers twisting his hair nervously, eyes big and brown and beautiful.

Straightening from where he's been hiding against the wall, Steve steps up into the guy's space, watches his eyes go bigger and his face go pink. He's perfect.

"I'm Steve," he says, leaning in so he can be heard over the music. "And you don't look like the kind of guy who dances."

"Oh, I'm not," the guy says, eyes flicking around Steve's face, dropping to Steve's chest, to his thighs and back up again. "Um, sorry. I'm Eddie."

Steve grins. "Nice to meet you, Eddie."

Eddie's mouth quirks up, an giddy, boyish smile. "P-pleasure's mine," he says. "And I may be terrible at it, but I'd love to dance with you. If you'd like."

"I would like," Steve tells him. He holds out his hand, feels his heart flutter when Eddie takes it. "I'd like that very much."

[raycatzdraws]

Wolfie and Four friendship appreciation doodles! They're shared secrets besties! I hope Four's distrust of the shadow crystal doesn't drive anything between them. Wild found his way into this compilation with a force. It seems I can't draw Wolfie and not include him too!

[luna-spacedoodles]

picking back up my riptide rewatch from the summer again with jay n gill who are growing ever closer within their personal space

[sundaydsco]

prom suselle............ they're all i ever care about

[thecmaly]

harem squad said deal's off folks

-

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