#on the flip side i love q being the insecure one

[calciumcryptid]

One of the reasons I love QToey is due to how secure Toey is in their relationship. Characters with Toey's archetype tend to be written as insecure, so it is fun to see him laugh off Q's "playboy" era with his friends and sincerely proclaim it doesn't bother him

[gavin-plz-call-me]

i saw you did an nsfw alphabet for wannabe challenge so i was wondering if you could do one for tears of themis? i'd love to see one for artem

Hell yeah, alphabets are the only nsfw stuff I'm good at writing

AO3

Artem NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

-Stills inside/beside you for a moment while you both catch your breath, then he’s combing through your hair, peppering your body with loving kisses.

-Has wet wipes/tissues to help clean you up at arm's length, so if let’s be honest, when you whine about not wanting to leave his side just yet, he can help you clean up.

-If you’re still clingy after a while, this man will carry you to the bathroom to get the rest of the way cleaned up.

-If you find yourself in a more dominant role in the bedroom sub Artem? It’s more likely than you think be prepared to pepper that man with so much love and care.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

-His favorite body part of himself is his eyes. They’re a nice color, but I don’t think he thinks about his appearance too much.

-As for you, would it be cliche to say your brain?

-While your beauty was what attracted him first, your mind is what really sealed the deal.

-Your mouth is a close second, because it helps you voice your thoughts in that beautiful voice of yours and, I mean, if you wanted to give him a blow job too he wouldn’t be complaining…

-Is an ass man.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

-Is hesitant on deciding where to cum.

-He thinks cumming anywhere in/on you would not be a very pleasant experience for you.

-But in the heat of the moment, he’ll probably end up cumming inside you if he’s wearing protection, or on your thighs/ass if he’s not.

-When he cums, whether it be in you or on you, he’s grabbing you a tissue when he comes down from his high to clean you up.

-If you swallow his cum he’ll be a little disgusted, but a lot turned on.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

-Has masturbated in his office after you’ve left on multiple occasions.

-Sometimes the perfume you were wearing was extra enticing, sometimes what you were wearing made you look extra hot, and sometimes your presence alone is enough to get him hot and excited.

-Is mostly ashamed about the times he did it before you two were dating because it felt like an intrusion of your privacy.

-Once Celestine came to his office right after he finished and he was so mortified that she’d somehow be able to tell that he did something. She knew something was up because of how much he was blushing, but she didn’t know what exactly

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

-Big old virgin

-I’m not even saying that to be mean plus being a virgin isn’t bad it’s just true.

-Sure, his lack of experience may be a bit of a hindrance at first, but he’s a clean slate.

-He’s not gonna be doing some weird thing with your clit because a girl he was with before liked that.

-Train him to perfectly pleasure you, and, trust me, he’s a fast learner.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

-Your first few times together he only did missionary, because, while he knew there were other options, he didn’t know how to initiate them.

-As he got more experience, however, he grew to absolutely love doggy style.

-Loves your ass, so it’s an obvious choice. Plus, if he’s extra flustered, he can easily hide it.

-Grips your ass extra hard while kissing your neck and back. If he’s feeling extra brave, expect a few whispers about how good you feel.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

-He has his goofy moments, but most of the time he’s 100% serious.

-Whether it be because he’s concentrating on learning how to pleasure you correctly, or, when he’s gained a bit of experience, just concentrating on both of your pleasure.

-I feel like as you guys get closer, however, an awkward moment may turn into a brief bout of giggles shared between the two of you before continuing.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

-Shaved himself completely when you two started dating.

-Was convinced you’d be disgusted by any hair down there. My poor insecure baby

-When he gets more comfortable around you, he’ll let it grow out, but he still trims it to keep it neat.

-Carpets match the drapes.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

-Is a whore for a sexy, romantic atmosphere.

-I’m talking rose petals, candles, and a couple of glasses of non-alcoholic wine.

-Wanna have the most romantic love-making session imaginable? Set all of that up for him instead of the other way around.

-He’ll be so in love with you at that moment he’ll have no choice but to give you the best orgasms you’ve ever had.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

-Before meeting you, he jacked off maybe once or twice a week, and it was more of something he had to do than something he wanted to do.

-When he met you, he thought you were the most attractive person he’d ever seen, so his sex drive and, naturally, his masturbation sessions increased.

-Increased to every other day, maybe every day. He tried to not think of you during these times as he felt it was an invasion of privacy emphasis on tried.

-After finally getting together with you, his sessions have decreased back down to once or twice a week.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

-Likes having sex in his office, but that’s the most public space he’ll do it in.

-Also loves it when you’re slightly dominant on him.

-Doesn’t want to do any of the more kinky stuff, tying him or you, depending on his mood with a tie is about as far as he’ll go.

-But just take charge, he loves it.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

-Can’t go wrong with the good old fucking in bed. It’s easy, comfortable, and you guys can take as long as you want.

-Get him riled up at work by wearing something that beautifully shows of your ass, or make sure he knows you’re wearing that pair of panties you know he loves or, fuck it, no panties at all he’ll polietly ask you into his office so he can fuck your brains out.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

-Loves when you assert yourself, especially at work.

-Get all confident during a trial because you know you’re going to win? That’s all the motivation he needs.

-Does not help his productivity at all, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

-Expect to fuck after a trial, extra hard if you won.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

-No threesomes/group sex.

-It’s not even because he’ll get jealous okay maybe a bit of that but you were his first and only. Everything he’s learned about sex has been about specifically pleasuring you, he wouldn’t know where to begin when having sex with other people.

-He’s more than content with you being his one and only.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

-Not skilled at the beginning like all things sexual, but he’s a fast learner.

-Good communication is key here, as it is in all aspects of sex with Artem. Guide him to where you want to be pleasured, praise him when you really like what he’s doing, and give him some delicious moans and he’ll be a pro at fucking you with his tounge alone in no time.

-Is too shy to ask for you to go down on him, and will insist you don’t have to when you try to initiate it.

-Ignore him and do it, the noises you draw from him are absolutely worth it.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

-Starts off at a weird middle ground sort of pace, not fast and not slow.

-Is fond of slow and sensual when he grows more experienced, but will occasionally get rough with you.

-That usually happens when he gets a bit too jealous of a guy who got a bit too close to you for your liking.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

- doesn’t really have a choice in the matter at the beginning, mr. 30 seconds (sorry Artem)

-For real, he prefers longer love-making sessions, but if you’re teasing him in the office a quickie will ensue.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

-Grows more confident the more the two of you have sex.

-He does like fucking in his office, so he likes a bit of risk, but there being too many people in the office, or the chance of Celestine walking in at anytime, Artem would much rather feign working on a case and take you home.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

-At first, like most virgin boys, his stamina is basically nonexistent.

-Let him take his time, he’ll get to fucking you until the sun rises in no time at all.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

-Has never thought about getting one for himself when his hand does the job well enough.

-Is very open to using toys on you in the bedroom, especially when he’s feeling insecure about his ability to please you which happens often, scream his name and make him forget those insecurities.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

-Not a teaser in the slightest.

-You want something specific in the bedroom? He’s already doing it, you barely have to ask.

-On the flip side, sort of loves it when you’re unfair to him.

-Just barely touch him and stop at the brink of his orgasm, he gets a sick sort of pleasure from that.

-It also helps him gain more control over himself in the bedroom, so it’s a win-win.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

-May try to stay quiet, after all, in all the porn he’s watched which isn’t a lot because I feel like watching it makes him feel uncomfortable the man is always basically silent.

-That does not work out for him, though. He gets so overwhelmed with pleasure that he can’t control what his vocal cords are doing.

-Gains a bit more control over it over time, but he realizes you like his moans, so he stops trying to keep them at bay.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

-Is a total switch.

-Can be pretty dominant at some times see his atmospheric card

-But I can totally see him wanting you to dom him sometimes. Loves seeing you dominate the court, if you bring that energy to bed, oh boy is he like putty in your hands.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

-He’s of average girth and slightly above average length. Has a nice, thick vein that runs the length of his penis.

-Uncut.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

-Has a very active imagination how else would he become such a great lawyer?

-And while that helps him out in his work, anything about you can really set him off.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

-Is out like a light

-Especially the first few times, his body doesn’t know what hit him.

-But even after a while, he works so hard that the moment he has the chance to fall asleep, his body is taking that chance.

-Make sures to stay up long enough to get cleaned off and help you clean yourself up.

[nuestraluzdelaluna]

NSFW for Trent 🥺🤭

Trent Alexander-Arnold NSFW alphabet

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ smut ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Trent will collapse on your body after sex and just lay there for a few minutes trying to calm his breathing down. After that he will get up, get some water and a washcloth and start cleaning you both up.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part of his are his hands. He loves seeing you go crazy over his hands. Always wanting to hold them and play with his fingers constantly remembering how good they feel inside you.

About your body Trent really loves your tits. He loves seeing you in tops that leave little to his imagination, always spoiling you with new bras he think will look good on you. Trent constantly would want to see you boobs covered in his cum.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

That’s why he prefers to cum on your body. Now and then he will cum inside you, however seing your body covered in his seed has to be the sexiest thing he’s ever seen. Scoop some of his cum up and lick it off your fingers and he will immediately be ready for round two.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Trent loves to see you be needy, it’s an ego boost for him. He loves feeling needed and seeing that he’s the only one that can make you feel good.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Trent is not the most experienced but he definitely knows what he’s doing. He loves getting to know more about your body and learning knew things about you. He definitely knows how to pleasure you.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He will not necessarily have a favorite position because he enjoys the sight of your body in any way. If he would have to decide on one particular position it would probably be cow girl.

Seeing you on top of him gets him incredibly hard. Having your boobs bounce right in front of his face, your nails digging in his skin but still being able to control the pace is what he loves about it.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Trent is definitely more on the goofy side. Always trying to make you laugh because there’s not a lot that’s sexier for him than your laugh. However it’s like you‘re flipping a switch and he’s suddenly all serious. Being concentrated on fucking your brains out.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Trent shaves. Not necessarily every other day, but he likes to keep himself pretty clean from hair.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He is constantly praising you. Telling you how good you are for him.

„you feel so good baby“

„such a tight pussy my love“

„you make daddy feel so good“

„such a good girl“

„daddy loves how you‘re squeezing his cock“

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Trent is mastrubating a lot, with being a footballer he is often away from you. He will try to call you as much as possible so that you two can get off together.

Trent loves seeing you touch yourself. He will often make you rub your clit and just sit there palming his dick through his pants. Enjoying to hear you moan his name.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Mutual masturbation - he loves the fact that just looking at him and touching yourself can get you off.

Dirty talk - as i said before he’s constantly praising you. Always telling you what he’s going to do you and how much he’s enjoying it.

Daddy kink - he loves to hear the name come out of your mouth.

Punishment - he loves to order you around and have some kind of power of you. If you don’t obey you are going to regret it.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Location doesn’t matter to him. As long he is able to be inside you everything is right.

However trent really loves to have you in his car. Pushing his seat back and letting you climb on his lap and just having his way with you.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

your boobs - as i said before tight tops are his weakness

kissing his neck

whispering in his ear - even if it’s something completely innocent it always gets his imagination running wild

when you are angry - trent really loves to fuck your frustrations out of you

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He would not like to share you. The thought of another guy touching you in an intimate way really makes him insecure and would not be an option for him.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Trent definitely knows what to do with his tongue. He would have to perfect little mixture of tongue and fingers figured out. Loving to assault your clit and reach the deepest parts inside you at the same time.

There’s hardly a sight he enjoys more than you with his dick in your mouth. Taking him as deep as possible, mascara running down your checks and your fingers touching yourself.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Trent would love you to have you fast and rough for one moment, telling you what a slut you are for him and being really dirty.

The other moment he will go slow and make sure you’re feeling every part of his dick. Telling you all kinds of romantic things.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Trent doesn’t like quickies. He will always want to make time to please both of you as much as possible.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

When it comes to places he’s always willing to take risks, loving fuck you in public places forcing you to hood back your moans.

He’s also really likely to experiment with you, always wanting to try stuff at least once before you decide whether you like it or not.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He will not necessarily last too long however he will be able take you all night.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He once bought you a vibrator before he went away for a champions league game. This vibrator really comes in handy everty time he is gone, however Trent would also love to use it on your clit while he is fucking you senseless.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Trent loves to tease. He’ll even leave you all horny for a few hours before really fucking you.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Trent can’t stop groaning when he’s inside you. Always panting and moaning. He’ll be especially loud when you go down on him, not being able to stop the moans. Sometimes you even have to cover his mouth when you two are going at it somewhere public.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Trent loves when you leave hickeys. Not necessarily on his neck but on his chest and lower torso. He really enjoys feeling you suck and nibble on his v line.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Trent is a little above average, however he is really thick. Always being able to see how your walls are being stretched out by him.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Trent has a rather high sex drive, however he will fuck you so hard that you both need to calm down for a few hours. Besides that he really is down to fuck you at least every two days.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He will definitely make sure you fall asleep first. Watching you peacefully and combing his hands for your hair.

[loveyhoneydovey]

SFW Alphabet with Joaquín Torres

Note: I've been dying to write something like this so I decided to do it with my baby first. Might do Sam next

All my stories are written with a bisexual reader of colour in mind, but anyone else is more than welcome to read them

Joaquín Torres x GN!Reader

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He’s a very affectionate partner and especially shows his love through physical affection and acts of service. He wants to feel useful and do his best to make life easier and more enjoyable for you.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

He’d be the type of best friend that’s not physically there often, due to the nature of his job. However, when you do get a chance to spend it feels like he’s never been gone. He completely focuses on you, asks for updates about your life and checks if you need anything. He’s so chill and he’s got the type of personality that has you at ease. You first met him at a mutual friend’s wedding, you both got a bit tipsy and decided to hang out with each other and that was the start of a beautiful friendship

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

YES!!! As I previously mentioned, he loves physical touch and cuddling is one of his favourite ways of showing affection. He loves being the small spoon and he’s not ashamed to say it. He says it’s because you make him feel safe and makes him feel like he has a home to go back to after all the shit he sees

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He wants to settle down for sure, eventually. Before meeting you, he thought that would come later, but you definitely made him rethink. I don’t think he’s the best cook, but I think he has a few of recipes of food his mom made him when he was younger. Those are the ones he learned to perfect. As for cleaning, because of how strict his life is at the army, I think he allows himself to be a bit messy at home. Definitely messy and not dirty. You both try to split house chores evenly.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

I think he’d be honest and would do it in person. Ending a relationship that played such an important part in his life is definitely heartbreaking, but he thinks he owes it to himself and to you to put an end to it before it gets worse. He’d rather end things on semi good terms than letting it sour and go nowhere.

F = Fiancé(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He always told himself, when it came to relationships, he’d go with the flow and see how he felt about long-term commitment. He’s a m*ilitary boy, so I think he kinda (unintentionally) follows the stereotype and proposes quickly. Although in his case he does it because he’s truly in love with you and doesn’t want to wait longer than he has to make you his. He’d propose after about a year and a half I’d say.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Have you seen him? He’s the gentlest sweetest baby in every way. I think the fact that he sees so much violence and horror during his deployment pushes him to be more gentle in other aspects of his life. More specifically with you and his family. He wants you to feel like you can come to him for anything whether it’s when you’re feeling down or when you’ve cut your finger on a piece of glass. Either way he’ll treat you with kindness, but not like you’re breakable.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

omg he LOVES hugs. Again, due to the nature of his job, he doesn’t get a lot of physical affection, which drives him crazy. So when he’s home, you can expect him to attack you with hugs all day long. Doesn’t matter if you’re washing the dishes or brushing your teeth. He’ll come up from behind and wrap his arms around your waist, while putting his chin on your shoulder. If you’re facing him, he’s going to engulf you and wrap his arms around you. His hugs are warm and comforting and make you feel safe.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

oh real quick, but actually so do you. I actually headcanon that you two say it at the same time by accident. You both were probably nervous because it was after like two months, but end up laughing it off cause you were so in sync.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He understands the root of jealousy is mostly insecurity, so he doesn’t get jealous often, because he’s secure in his relationship with you and is actually pretty confident with himself. Of course, it happens occasionally, he’s only human. However, you both always thought that feeling jealous sometimes wasn’t bad, but what could lead to issues was the way one could act on it. So, whenever he feels jealous he takes a moment to collect his thoughts if he needs to, then you’d both talk about it.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses are often playful and sweet. He doesn’t like to take himself too seriously and neither do you, so you keep things light and playful, but that doesn’t mean it’s not passionate. On the contrary, you feel his love for you with every kiss he leaves on you skin. His favourite place to kiss you is on the nose, because of the way you scrunch it and giggle after he kisses it. As for where he liked to be kissed, soon after you started dating, you found out he loved being shirtless which allowed you to notice he had a beauty mark on the upper part of his right shoulder. From that moment, you developed a habit of kissing it and it made him melt, so it became his favourite place to be kissed.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Oh the BEST. For some reason he attracts them. You told him it was probably because he was a child himself and he flipped you off. You actually think it’s because he’s so cheerful and happy, and he treats them like they’re his friends. You’ve caught him having full on conversations with your friends’ babies who couldn’t even speak yet. And once you had kids, he did the same thing with them.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Whenever possible, you have lazy mornings where you alternate between sleeping, having lazy morning sex and snacking. If it’s a regular morning, he usually has to leave before you, and every time you’d try to distract him and make him stay a bit longer. He’s so used to your “five more minutes, please” that he started waking up five minutes earlier.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

This man has a whole skincare routine before going to sleep. If you also do, then you both complete your routines side by side in front of the bathroom mirror. He might read a bit before bed (and you try to sneakily take a pic of him in his glasses cause you think he looks so cute), or you’d both talk about your day and maybe cuddle a bit before turning off your lamps and getting some sleep.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He’d open up slowly, there was no pressure between the two of you and he took his time to share the more difficult parts of his life. Now if you open up to him about something defining or traumatic that happened in your life, he might open up faster to let you know you’re not alone, but also to reciprocate the trust you put in him.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He’s pretty patient most of the time and tries to not let himself get angry over little things, however he’s still human. So depending on the gravity of the situation, he might get angered quickly if he sees something upsetting happening, however, he’s very careful with the way he reacts. He knows something done in anger can lead to regret and guilt, so he thinks before he acts and speaks.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

I think he’d remember an important date like your birthday, he knows around what time your anniversary is, but I feel like he would forget which date it is exactly. He’d remember the most random facts about you, like the kind of stuff where you think he was paying attention, but he was listening subconsciously.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Cliché, but it was during your honeymoon. It was the first time you had referred to him as your husband and it made his heart swell with pride. The love you held for him was so obvious when you looked at him.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He’s protective when he needs to be. He’s not overbearing and trusts that you’re capable of taking care of yourself most of the time. He will step in if he feels like a situation is escalating (let’s say if you’re getting physically or verbally harassed) and he will put himself physically between you and whoever’s trying to harm you.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Omg listen this baby puts so much effort into making your dates enjoyable. He plans out full picnics with cute cakes and charcuterie boards and that doesn’t stop as your relationship progresses. Any gifts he gives you usually have a meaning behind them, and he doesn’t always buy them, sometimes he makes them himself. As I said, he is a bit messy in his daily life, but you two actually have a chart with who’s supposed to do what and that’s how you share your chores, and he does mostly follow it.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He has a habit of leaving some important stuff until the last minute. It works out in the end, but it causes him an unnecessary amount of stress.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

… have you seen the amount shirtless selfies Danny takes? I think Torres is the exact same. So, he does like to take care of his looks, especially when he sees the effect it has on you. And he has to stay in shape either way, due to his job

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

I think he’d be heartbroken and might feel incomplete for the first few months, but as time goes one, he begins to feel whole again and learns to feel self sufficient.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He wants to learn another language fluently someday. He wants to help people and he thinks there’s no better way than being able to understand their needs in their native language to be able to help

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

I think he doesn’t like the smell of cigarettes or smoke. He doesn’t mind if his partner’s a smoker, but he probably wouldn’t be around them while they’re smoking.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

This boy sleeps in the weirdest, funniest positions. Like you’d go to sleep in a normal position side by side, or with your back to him, then when you’d wake up you’d find him in a new position every time.

[ravenadottir]

non fluffy alphabet: tai

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

extremely caring. he has this habit of holding you close, kissing your forehead as he lies behind you, taking the role of the big spoon. hearing your breathing as you slowly fall asleep, or the way you mumble your answers when he asks you something, are the things that breaks this man into a big grin.

he always has water on his nightstand and he will force you to have a big gulp. “you lost a lot of water there, beautiful.”

his arm goes under your head so he can snuggle closer, covering your back entirely with his own. he also loves nuzzling in the back of your neck, catching the scent of your hair before falling asleep.

B = Body Part (His favorite body part of their partners)

everything that relates to the bottom half of your body.

ass and thighs have a different impact on this man when the imagery is you moving in a way that displays them properly. the waving of your hips, the top of your thighs’ muscles contracting as you grind on his lap.

he adores running his fingers on your skin, or leaving a trail of kisses. an occasional slap is always part of it. digging his fingers on the crease of your hip bones.

he can’t take his hands off your body and that, to him, signifies closeness during sex.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum)

tai loves the intensity of the moment and how to make it even more heated.

he mostly prefers to cum inside of you. to him, it’s much more raw and real for when it happens. and he knows you love the look of his legs trembling when he lets go and do it.

D = Dirty Secret

none.

he is openly bisexual. “out and proud” as he once said, and he likes talking about sex, preferences, past experiences. he won’t hide anything from you, it’s part of his personality to be open and sincere.

and he appreciates if you’re open to him as well. he likes knowing everything about you, and that wouldn’t change when it comes to intimacy.

E = Experience (How experienced are they?)

relatively experienced.

he’s had serious relationships, but also one-night stands. to him, numbers aren’t relevant. not on his end nor on yours. i wouldn’t guess hundreds, but definitely dozens.

he doesn’t take too much time to decide if he wants to spend the night with someone, caring about pleasantries or “rules”.

if he has a feeling it’s going to be fun, he goes for it.

F = Favourite Position

you on all fours, on the bed.

the way your body moves while he thrusts behind you makes his mind travel. everything about the outlines of your back and hips, when you rear up and gyrate against him messes with him.

your ass, your legs spread, the possibilities are endless.

he also likes bending over to kiss your shoulder blades, to bite the back of your neck, to pull your hair and whisper in your ear how much he adores you just like that. he will call you beautiful at all times.

tai has a firm grip on your waist and if you take the lead and move against him, he melts. to him nothing beats the motions you make while in that position. nothing is sexier and he has to control himself to not cum so fast.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in bed? Or are the humorous?)

tai can be both. his natural self is usually playful, chuckling when you black out from an orgasm, sharing smiles as you move together.

he can also be intense if the occasion asks for it. but that’s not his default.

he would rather have fun and sexiness over intense stares and muted moans.

H = Hair (Are they groomed down there? Does the carpet match the drapes?)

trimmed, very taken care of.

he does his best to keep it tight and pretty. the guy feels more comfortable with less hair and knows how sometimes can be unpleasant to some people.

the sensation of having a ‘haircut’ is satisfying to him.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, are they romantic?)

sex to tai is something he shares with someone he feels comfortable with. in one way or other, he has to have that level of connection before it can happen. when he’s in love, he’s extremely caring, passionate and romantic.

he wants that moment to speak for itself, and whatever he can do to make it special, he will. he doesn’t care much for ambiance, but about what you do together before, during and after.

J = Jack Off

if you’re away, he loves phone sex.

to picture you touching yourself as you moan his name softly is one of his favorite things in the world. not to mention how your voice messes with his head and senses.

to him, it’s the sexiest sound in the world, and that’s when you’re speaking normally. he might even have seconds while talking to you.

as for jacking off by himself, i believe tai likes compilations of girls and boys having real orgasms. the whole trembling, rinding, grinding shebang. he doesn’t last very long when he has those on.

K = Kink

hair pulling, for the both of you. he needs his hair pulled as much as he needs to pull yours (if possible, of course).

he also likes slapping and biting. if it’s your ass, even better.

from time to time the control stays in your hand, but he does appreciate torturing you with lingering nibbles and slaps while you ride him, or he rides you, so to speak.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

you already made his dream of the waterfall come true. i think if tai could choose, a balcony with the view of the beach would be the perfect spot for him. the waves crashing on the shore, the salty wind refreshing you both while you’re biting your lip from screaming each other’s names, the rails you’ll grip on while he’s behind you.

everything about the beach view excites him.

at home, the couch. he likes placing your knees on the edge of the seat while he grabs your shoulder, rolling his hips, grunting your name.

M = Motivation (What turns him on? What gets him going?)

you and your smile, the way you tease and goof around with each other.

to tai, sex starts before foreplay and kissing. the way you understand each other and how he can be himself with you is his major turn on.

but he’s also the type of guy that has “boner on command”. if you walk around in shorts, or just your underwear, he can’t take his eyes off you. he follows your every move and if you bend over to pick something, he’s ready to go.

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do.)

the one thing i’m certain about this is that tai is open to try anything once. there’s not a lot he would put a limit to, and he’s open to most things.

he’ll try, but if doesn’t like it, don’t expect him to sugarcoat it. he’ll be blunt and honest about it, and he appreciates when you do the same.

O = Oral (Do they like to give or receive? Are they skilled?)

tai skills while going down on you is to almost die for. what contributes to him being so good at it is that he knows communication is key. he can’t guess what you like, so he lets you set the pace, the location, the speed, intensity.

it relies on you to tell him what to do. everyone is different and the sooner you have this experiment, the better.

on girl, he loves swiping his tongue, feeling the back of your legs on his shoulder. when you moan a little louder you can see his smile reaching his eyes. his fingers might tease their way in while your hips roll against his mouth.

on boys, he swirls his tongue on the tip while in his mouth.

he works it nonstop, and won’t cease his work until you cum. that’s the one thing you can expect from him. oral is not a way of foreplay, it’s as important as the act itself.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)

his default is rough and slow.

the speed increases as time goes by, but the intensity of his kisses, the way he touches your body, his bites and slaps stays the same.

he’s the kind of guy that likes to hold your gaze while inside of you. that only shows him how he’s at the right place, at the right time, with the right person.

Q = Quickie

volunteer of the year!

before leaving to work, in the morning. before parties in friends’ houses. during those parties on a hidden cupboard somewhere in the house. in the car on an empty parking lot after doing some shopping.

you name it. tai won’t back out from a quickie, and it often happens by him pinning you on a wall.

R = Risk (Do they take risks? Are they willing to experiment?)

absolutely. he’s open to new things. when it comes to intimacy, he’s willing to experiment.

“how do you know you don’t like it if you never tried it before?”

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

he can last long or not, depending on what you need since he’s pretty selfless when it comes to it. if it’s his choice, definitely taking his time is the way to go.

he enjoys watching your body tremble, and he goes for the 4+ goal every time. you’re there to have a good time and to enjoy each other’s company.

besides, tai’s default is to last longer than usual. with him on your bed every session is a rollercoaster. he’s changing positions after every orgasm, flipping, turning, rolling. it’s wild and fun, all the time!

T = Toy (Do they own toys?)

that’s where his cruel self might make an appearance. one of his favorite things is to watch you writhe with whatever he’s doing.

he knows the intensity and speed you like on your toys, and has zero shame in whipping one from the drawer. he might hold your legs on each side of his hips and hold a magic wand on you until you ask for mercy.

the thought of dominating you in that way is something that makes him go crazy.

he combines toys with his mouth or fingers, or even when he’s inside you, he can use a suction vibrator on you. there’s no stormy insecurity with him when it comes to accessories.

U = Unfair (How much do they like to tease?)

such a fucking tease!

he will touch your skin with his mouth, from your ankle to your waist and make sure he skips the most important part, and while at it, a stupid grin will stay on his lips.

he loves hearing you pleading and huffing when he doesn’t give you what he wants, licking his way up your legs just to go straight to your breasts or lips, to plant another kiss.

he also likes swiping the tip on your wet skin. almost masturbating you with it, long enough to have you throwing him on the bed and sitting astride him.

and even then, he might hold you, physically, stopping you from getting what you want.

V = Volume

vocal and loud.

he says what he wants, he gives your orders, tells you to grind, to ride, or simply how much he loves having you like that.

doesn’t hold back his moans, and they happen usually when you’re on a slow pace. but when he’s about to cum, or is having a hard time to hold back, he can’t help grunting your name, repeatedly. this is how he communicates.

tai also hisses and speaks through his teeth. not in an aggressive way, more in a pleading manner, trying to hold back as longer as he can.

W = Wild Card

if not in a serious relationship, open to it. he might even be the one bringing it up. boy or girl, he doesn’t care. the important thing is that he likes the person he’s about to share you with.

but if he’s committed to someone, i can’t say it would happen. he would be taken aback if his partner suggested it, even a bit insecure. there’s definitely some limitations about sharing the person he loves with someone else, even if he gets to be with the third person as well.

X = X-ray (What’s going on down there?)

so much girth. length. our boy is P-A-C-K-I-N-G and he knows it. he displays big dick energy and it’s not for nothing.

it might even hurt your shoulder if you stroke him for too long.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

my god, he’s driven!

he craves your touch at all times. it’s the way he knows he’s found the person he’s supposed to be with. and there are many ways to show someone how in love you are with them, but the most practical to him is sharing the bed. or the couch. or the wall.

Z = Zzz (How quickly did they fall asleep?)

he falls fast after so much exercising.

tai goes hard when in bed, so the effect it brings is just as intense. he wants to make sure you’re ok, taken care of and hydrated. once those bases are covered, it’s snoring time for tai.

[technospotatoes]

C!SAM - Redeemable Qualities Analysis (Dream SMP)

Hallo! I’m back with another brain rot post for ya’ll instead of doing my schoolwork :] 

Recently, I’ve been doing some thinking and theorizing with some friends on discord following Quackity’s huge lore stream (if you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend you watch it). I woke up this morning with a head full of many thoughts about C!Awesamdude and where his story could take us. Seeing as how there is going to be lots of change in the future with the server, there must be changes in these characters as well-- evil to good, good to evil, and the like. With these changes comes my thought: “can these characters be redeemed?” Here are my thoughts on how this applies to C!Sam.

Please let me know your thoughts and theories, I’d love to discuss with you! As always, strap in, it’s gonna be a long one :]

I hope you enjoy!

Author’s note: I want to start this off by saying that all of the contents being discussed are fictional, and are from the Dream SMP universe. I do not support the actions of these characters, but merely have interest in analyzing them through a lens of psychology and for entertainment purposes. Content of this post will contain spoilers up to 3/25/21 of the DSMP lore. I will also talk about ATLA a little bit ;)

Content warning: mentions of torture, manipulation, death, possible psychological trauma

(pls be safe ily)

What makes a redeemable character? 

  Redeemable characters are some of the most pleasing and favored characters in modern media. Their stories are rich with emotion, and they can even evoke some form of catharsis within the most skeptic consumers. Redeemable characters are memorable and inspiring, and without one, a story can feel empty. Before we apply this character trope to the Dream SMP and C!Sam, we need to answer a basic question in order to fully understand the complexity of redeemable characters and how they are so universally significant. 

What is a redeemable character?

  Simply put, a redeeming character or characteristic counteracts or corrects something negative. From a storytelling standpoint, a redeemable character is someone who has roots in good qualities, turns bad, and has the ability to revert their wrong choices to become a better person. 

Examples of redeemed characters in popular media include: 

Zuko - Avatar the Last Airbender

Boromir - Lord of the Rings

Kylo Ren - Star Wars

Severus Snape - Harry Potter 

  Zuko, for example, starts his story off as the villain. He tirelessly hunts down the protagonist, and will stop at nothing to achieve his goal to please his father. However, as the show progresses, we learn that Zuko wasn’t always bad. He was only driven to his path of villainy because of his fear of failure, of his father (the firelord and true antagonist of the show), and of a greater punishment than what he had already received. With the help of his uncle, Zuko learned to push through and accept his past, while also making amends with his wrongs and coming to the realization of who the true enemy was; ultimately choosing peace and unity over destruction and fear.    Zuko’s story is so appealing because it was drawn out. It was raw, it was real, and it was a genuine telling of how damaged people can heal, change, and come to accept themselves. Because he went through the process of redemption, he was not only able to be loved by those around him, but also by his audience-- And I believe that this can be the same case with any redeemable character. 

So how does this relate to C!Sam? How could he possibly be redeemable if he is not evil?

  C!Sam has become increasingly interesting to me in the DSMP lore, and he has shown how complex his character is-- in contrast to many first impressions that people have of him. Based upon his actions from the past, and his willingness to remain neutral in times of conflict, we can conclude that he sustains both “neutral good” and “lawful neutral/good” qualities. This means that Sam is a reliable character, driven by his own personal values, and is devoted to helping others (when he sees fit). Evidence of these qualities emerge…

When he sided with Pogtopia during the Manberg War to maintain good relations with Tommy and Tubbo. 

When he saved Hannah from the Egg

Created Sam Nook to assist Tommy in building his hotel

Built Pandora’s Vault for Dream

Showed concern for Ranboo after one of his denied prison visits

  Sam’s moral code is deeply rooted with good intentions; he keeps an eye out for his friends, maintains his relationships, assists in builds/projects, and also serves as a “stable adult figure” for some of the younger members of the server. In contrast to his logical outward appearance, C!Sam lets his emotions drive his decision making-- which can lead to many severe consequences depending on how he acts. However, recently Sam’s actions indicate that he is experiencing a flip in morals. 

Below are incidents that have led to C!Sam’s recent change in moral code. 

Incident 1: Trapped with the Egg

  Many weeks ago, during the height of character involvement with the Egg lore, C!Sam was lured into a trap by BBH and Antfrost. He spent about a day trapped in close contact with the Egg, and after he was saved by Puffy and Tommy, he was clearly changed. It is likely that the Egg is behind these sudden changes in character motivation for Sam… similarly to how it corrupted BBH, Ant, and Punz. Whether this is the case with Sam is unclear. 

Incident 2: Tommy’s death

  C!Sam and C!Tommy’s relationship within the DSMP lore is one of my favorite things to talk about. After his victory over the disk war and finally landing his nemesis in prison, Tommy was left empty, without much to do. He decided to take upon a new project to incite a new era of peace, and was able to enlist the help of Sam with building his hotel. Throughout this process (and under the watchful eye of Sam Nook), Tommy and Sam were able to develop a bond with each other through their work, along with their interactions at the Prison. 

  Sam has made it clear that he intends to defend Tommy no matter what-- but after his untimely death at the hands of C!Dream, Sam was deeply wounded. He felt as if he failed his promise to keep Tommy safe, and he made it clear that the blame for the “security issue” and C!Tommy’s death should be placed fully on him. No matter how selfless and responsible this makes his character appear, this event will only serve as the basis for severe consequences in moral change in the future. 

Incident 3: Confrontation with Quackity

  Following the large emotional impact of Tommy’s death, C!Sam is very vulnerable, because he is still within the stages of grief. C!Quackity came to Sam for a partnership, to take advantage of Sam while he was low to gain the upper hand. It’s no question that Q’s character is a talented manipulator, we can see that clearly in his interaction with Sam. Q restates again and again that Sam failed, further cementing Sam’s existing guilt and desire for revenge for his failure. Sam gives in to the manipulation, and somewhat reluctantly allows Quackity to torture Dream to get information and to get payback for what he did to Tommy... which completely goes against what his responsibility of Warden entails. 

  As Warden, C!Sam is supposed to uphold the law and rules of visitation, but because of his leniency with Quackity (in breaking the rules) and because he is still emotionally raw, he no longer defends good from evil, but is now biased against it. C!Sam probably wants Dream dead, but as Warden, his opinion shouldn’t matter. Because Sam fully blames himself for failing Tommy, he's lost the "lawful good" in his character, meaning Warden Sam (as a set of morals) truly doesn't exist anymore.

Incident 4: Ponk’s mistake

  To recap a stream briefly, Ponk did a prank on Sam a couple days ago, and stole a few of the expired keycards to Pandora’s Vault. Rightfully, Sam was very angry, and not only took back the keycards, but also imprisoned Ponk. However, where this interaction should have ended, C!Sam only took it to the extreme. (TW!!!!) Out of anger and frustration, C!Sam tortured Ponk for his wrongdoing by setting him on fire, and amputating his arm (END TW!!!). 

  This only proves my point from Incident 3. Warden Sam is fading, only bits and pieces of his morally neutral character remain within him for basic tasks. His encounter with Quackity had a huge impact on his psyche, not only is he allowing the torture of the prison occupants, but he is doing it himself as well. C!Sam is now starting to believe that pain and torture are the only solutions for punishment, which is the complete opposite of what he believed before Dream was imprisoned. 

In short...

  C!Sam is losing his grip on moral and mental stability because of his emotional insecurity due to his psychological trauma. Because of this, I believe that it is entirely possible for Sam’s character to explore the route of evil and unlawful values-- which furthers the possibility for a redemption arc. Even currently, Sam is eligible for redemption as well.

  If C!Sam is willing to acknowledge his wrongs from today and improve himself upon them, he will likely become a more memorable, lovable, and even more human character than we’ve seen in the SMP before. 

SIDENOTE!

IRL Sam recently posted in his discord talking about his character. Here are a few key things to keep in mind as the story goes forward: 

“There is a LOT of things in the plan for me as a character and a very big change is coming about for me as the story moves along.”

I believe this change could be a villain arc, or a turn towards evil that incites the possibility for redemption. 

“My character is playing a role that I think is VITAL for the server and a role that I like to think was a good one for me to pick up and accept.”

You can read the reddit post I referenced for this here (ty to my friend on discord for providing me with the link <3)

TYSM FOR READING!! <3 <3 <3

[samanthadalton]

Personality traits for Chloe st James (ABCs)

this is a (late) birthday present for @alleycat97 bc i know how much she loves Chloe. It was definitely fun writing for her character and coming up with traits for her 

taglist: @alleycat97 @cloud9in @fundamentalromantic (sometimes my tags don’t work on my laptop, im not sure why) 

NSFW on some parts but I marked the parts 

A- Attentive 

Being around someone like Poppy means that Chloe is extremely attentive to the small details. She’s always picking up on the little signals and constantly makes sure you’re okay. She’ll literally show up to your dorm at 3am if your texts seem “off” to her and she’s worried you’re sad. 

NSFW- Chloe is very attentive to your pleasure during sex and loves kissing/biting your neck or chest to heighten your pleasure. 

B- Bottom

NSFW- Chloe is definitely a bottom but she’s not a pillow princess. She once got super offended that you called her one and wanted to show you she’s not the type to lie down and take it. Even though she lets you take the reins, she’s super bratty and loves verbally teasing you to turn you on more. 

C- Candidness 

You can always count on Chloe to tell the truth because she has no filter and will say whatever is on her mind. You find it both endearing but annoying sometimes because her lack of filter means she does say a lot of things that may seem rude but you know she means well. 

D- Daredevil 

NFSW- Chloe is definitely too kinky for her own good and is always down to try something new during sex, even though she always lets you take the lead. She’ll gingerly ask you if you want to do whatever new thing she’s found online and show you a bunch of videos on how to do it. 

E- Experience

NSFW- This surprised you but Chloe doesn’t have a lot of experience in the bedroom. When it comes to sex, she feels more comfortable around people she can trust, but her past partners never gave her any security so she never really knew how much of it worked until you. But now she’s breaking out of her shell more and becoming more forward with her likes and dislikes. 

F- Favourite position

NSFW- Chloe’s favourite position is seeing you between her legs, as you pleasure her. She loves eye contact and practically falls apart when your eyes meet as you eat her out. She also loves laying down on the couch with you on top of her, kissing and cuddling her because she feels the safest in your arms. 

G- Goofiness

The more you get to know Chloe, the more goofy you realise she is. She loves acting silly and stupid on purpose just to make you laugh and isn’t afraid to scream to the top of her lungs in public which evokes weird stares from random passerbys but always seems to make you laugh. 

H- Horniness

NSFW- Chloe is the epitome of horniness and loves teasing you which ends up with you dragging her to your bedroom or just doing it right on the sofa. She loves wearing outfits which are purposely revealing, and will try and seduce you by ‘accidentally’ dropping a pen and then bending over to pick it up, showing off her ass in the process. 

I- Impulsive

Chloe tends to be pretty impulsive, acting on her own whim because she either forgets she has anything planned and does something else or she’s sick of living in a controlled environment and just likes to be spontaneous. Her impulsive decisions once led you to a three day weekend in Vegas because she just wanted to play poker (even though she doesn’t know how to play). 

J- Jealousy

Chloe gets jealous really easily, which is something she isn’t proud of but you know it’s only because she loves you so much. Whenever girls get too friendly with you, she’ll loop your arm with hers, pulling you close to your side, before giving a massive show of PDA. Usually nights where Chloe gets jealous ends in quickies in the bathroom, or just leaving the event early just so you can hook up and you can remember that you are hers, 

K- Kinks

NSFW- One of Chloe’s biggest kinks is feet. There’s something unexplainable about it but her biggest turn on is feet. She loves kissing your feet or sucking on your toes because it gets her in the mood. The first time she tried it with you, she was nervous because she wasn’t sure how you would react, but she was glad when you were receptive and enjoyed it. 

L- Lazy 

Chloe loves her lazy days where she can do nothing whatsoever. Because she’s so used to everything being done for her, she usually acts like a queen and will expect you to treat her one, which includes cooking and cleaning.

M- Masturbation

NSFW- Chloe wasn’t too comfortable with the idea of masturbation at first as a result of her inexperience but after investing in a vibrator, she definitely feels better about masturbating as a whole, though she prefers sex. 

N- Narcissism

Chloe is hugely confident about herself, which can be seen as borderline narcissistic but that’s only because she knows she looks good. Back in high school, she was the prom queen and was voted most likely to stay hot (which she was extremely happy about). Chloe does care about looks a lot but that’s only because she was insecure as a child and had to overcome a lot of those insecurities. She’s working on becoming less vain which is working because she complimented Taylor the other day and said she looked good. 

O- Opinionated 

Chloe has a lot of opinions about everything and will let them be known, even if she doesn’t have all the facts. She has a guilty pleasure of reality tv shows and will always explain to you what is going on and who is the worst and who she loves. 

P- Picky

Chloe is a very picky eater and is the type to order chicken tenders and fries or salad from a restaurant when the menu isn’t appealing to her. You’ve been working on expanding her appetite. She definitely has expensive tastes and likes the most bizarre food which makes you wonder why she’s such a picky eater. For example she loves caviar but refuses to eat scallops. 

Q- Quickies

NSFW- Though she prefers sex being sensual and passionate, she does love a good quickie and will be down for one. During parties she’ll drag you to an empty bedroom rather than a bathroom because she’s unsure of what she’ll catch. 

R- Reliable

Chloe is extremely reliant and you can depend on her whenever you need something. Because she’s number 2 at Belvoire she knows how to get things done (even if she has to use other people for it). She’s really good at delegating and is someone you can trust with your secrets. 

S- Scared

Chloe gets scared really easily and hates watching horror movies unless you’re there to cuddle with her. Once when you took her to one of those haunted houses, she fainted because a monster crept up on her and she screamed so much, she ended up knocking herself out. 

T- Toys

NSFW- Chloe doesn’t have any toys but she does have a pair of handcuffs and loves using vibrators during sex. Usually during sex, you’ll put her underwear in her mouth to quieten her or use of her expensive scarfs to tie her hands up. 

U- Useless

Chloe has a lot of insecurities and one includes her not feeling worthy or useful. You often have to reassure her that she is an amazing human being and show her how incredible she is. She’s always so appreciative of your efforts to make her feel better and with you around, she feels like she’s done something right. You’ve been encouraging her to pursue a career in dance, because she absolutely lights up when she’s choreographing a new dance routine for the Zeta’s and you know she’ll do an amazing job. 

V- Volume 

NSFW- Chloe is very loud during sex and will let every sound out. Zoey has complained once or twice (or a lot of times) about the noise but Chloe can’t help it and the moans she makes are like music to your ears. 

W- Wild

Chloe does have a crazy side and after a few drinks, all of her morals, self preservation, self control are almost gone and she’ll let loose. She once flashed a bouncer to let her into the VIP section of the club (which worked) and if you dare her to do almost anything while drunk, she’ll do it without a second thought. 

X- X-ray 

NSFW- Chloe doesn’t have the biggest boobs but they definitely are very perky. She’s slim because dancing helps her to keep fit and can do a split (which drives you a little crazy) and both front and back flips. She’s about 5’9 and she definitely prefers having medium sized hair compared to long. 

Y- Yearning

Wherever you go back home for the holidays, Chloe is always missing you because she’s accustomed to having you by her side. She’ll constantly text/facetime with you to make sure you’re okay but also because she’s missing you like crazy. 

Z- Zodiac

Chloe is super into astrology and you guys play a little game where you’ll watch random strangers and try and guess their signs. She’s always sending you daily horoscopes in regards to your sign and always sends you compatibility posts about your signs. 

[catty-words]

it's me again! i haven't really seen any analysis/meta/discussion abt NHIE (i'm pretty new to the fandom) and i really liked your last answer to my q so i was wondering if u had any thoughts on ben/devi as a relationship (not necessarily just the romantic aspect of it but like as a whole) and paxton\devi as a relationship as well and like ur thoughts on all that. sorry if this is werid!

The short version? I love them both and find it really cool that season one gives both relationships a complete arc. As for the long version…

Devi/Paxton: Popular guy gradually comes to appreciate all nerdy girl has to offer is a cute trope, right? Right. Of course, the thing I love the most about it in Never Have I Ever is that behind that cuteness is a lot of dysfunction. Devi chooses to pin all her post-trauma hopes and dreams on Paxton not only because his image holds enough power over the school to overshadow her stint in a wheelchair, but also because he has no idea who she is. He walks past her without seeing her at his swim meet. He’s clean across the parking lot and has not even the tiniest inkling of an idea that he’s about to distract Devi from her trauma long enough to get her walking again. He doesn’t remember that she sits behind him in history class.

And that appeals to Devi because, at the beginning of the season, she’s not looking for intimacy or true connection with Paxton. She’s looking for the image of normalcy. She’s looking to rebrand. So when Dr. Ryan convinces her that getting a boyfriend, any boyfriend, is not the way to do it, Devi—not wanting to completely give up her plan and fueled by Ben’s recent exacerbation of her insecurities—swerves right past the true point of Dr. Ryan’s words to set her sights on having sex.

I adore the way the first season is driven entirely by Devi’s unabashed horniness. She thinks Paxton’s hot and gets to openly gaze at him. She has wholesome ‘I know nothing about sex other than I want this shirtless boy in my bed’ sex dreams. And I adore the way that, on the flip side of that very straightforward and relatable feeling, is how focusing exclusively on her desire for Paxton is shown to cause a lot of her problems. She both gets to indulge her fantasy and get so lost in it, it becomes actively harmful to her life.

Meanwhile, on Paxton’s side of things, we get to see him become very quickly interested in intimacy and true connection. When it becomes clear that Devi’s not actually able to indulge in casual sex—because as much as she might not be looking for true intimacy, she sure cannot bring herself to relax into the surface intimacies hooking up requires—Paxton draws the line for her (no, we shouldn’t keep trying to meet in my garage) but continues to seek out her friendship. Shortly after calling off their attempts to hookup, he chooses her to be in his group for a class project. He’s excited to see Devi show up for Trent’s party. He asks her what Ganesh Puja means to her. Moreover, he opens up a very vulnerable side of himself to her in his relationship with Rebecca.

So, yeah, there’s an obvious imbalance of power in the relationship, and it’s actually not weighted in Paxton’s favor as the trope would initially have you believe. Paxton falls for Devi’s boldness and her YOLO approach to living. He cares about her well-being, as demonstrated by him asking if she’s okay post-pool fall. For Devi, on the other hand, it’s not especially clear whether she realizes just how much she keeps looking at Paxton and seeing only her fantasy, only what he can offer her, instead of the hints of a real person with his own shit to deal with he keeps trying to give her. Look no further than the narration after their kiss—“She just snagged her first kiss from a teenage Adonis. As far as Devi’s concerned, that car ride just solved all her problems.” By the eleventh hour of the season, Paxton is well and truly interested in building a relationship with Devi, while Devi’s excited for their kiss not because Paxton has shown that he cares about her. She’s excited because what she’d wanted this whole time—the image boost of being with him—is well within her reach.

Now, it probably sounds like I think Devi’s callous for this, but not so!! I think it’s impressive, the way the season manages to clearly show Devi’s motivations as sympathetic while also refusing to fully endorse her actions. She’s for sure using Paxton, and it’s not an especially good look. But her desperate desire to be seen as normal—to be talked about for reasons of her choosing and not because life decided to knock her out with some serious shit for a while there—is so, so heartbreakingly accessible to me. Wanting to control your own narrative is a fascinating theme for a fictional character to explore. And the packaging this theme comes in—Devi’s witticisms and Devi’s yearning to have more time with her dad—is charming as hell, is human and heart-wrenching. I love Devi with all my heart. So I don’t dislike her for using Paxton. Also, I love Devi with all my heart, so I can totally relate to the way Paxton falls for her.

Devi/Ben: Rivals to…an undefined something else. Not as cutesy of a trope, which works perfectly because Devi and Ben—though they certainly have their moments that make me squeal—are not cute with each other. Their relationship is about challenge, about being held accountable because messing up is grounds for mockery. And with that accountability and that constant attention paid—I mean, even the point I made earlier, about Ben’s “unfuckable nerd” comment being present in Devi’s mind when she decides to ask Paxton if he wants to have sex, is proof of the way Devi and Ben constantly exert an influence on each other—comes unexpected vulnerability and intimacy.

Which, again, Devi is not looking for. But unlike with Paxton, Devi doesn’t have unrealistic expectations of her dynamic with Ben to get in the way when actual intimacy starts to develop, and therefore she has no readily accessible place to hide. For this reason, she actually ends up leaning on Ben a lot, leaning into the growing compassion between them, and accidentally stumbles into some mortifying ordeal of being known shit. All throughout season one, Devi is honest with Ben without being cornered into that honesty. He reads her mood in the second episode and surmises that her plan to “get railed” didn’t go well, and she lets him offer his Ben-flavored wisdom when just a couple minutes before, she made the choice to mislead her best friends. Ben is the first person she tells about not actually having sex with Paxton, where she has to be put on the spot by Eleanor’s mom to actually make the confession to Eleanor and Fabiola. She asks Ben if she can move in with him and spends a lot of the final episode talking out her feelings about her fight with Nalini and saying goodbye to her dad with him.

So yeah, there’s certainly an imbalance in their relationship, too. Devi leans more heavily on Ben than he gets to on her. Of course, she does have a lot more going on in her life than Ben does. Plus, this imbalance is not quite as insurmountable as the stuff with Paxton. Navigating it won’t be as big an obstacle. As it is, Devi gives Ben the sympathetic ear he needs on more than one occasion—in the kitchen in episode six and at the party in episode eight. He may have to specifically ask for her to shut up and listen in episode six—“I’m trying to be vulnerable here!”—but I think that’s more proof that they’re accidentally really well-suited for each other because of the way their rivalry has built accountability. Stop being a dick for a second, I have something important to share with you. It’s a parallel sense of isolation and image-contentiousness you’re battling. Doesn’t that make the burden of feeling these things just a little bit lighter?

Triangulation: In summation—Paxton kisses Devi to show her that he cares, that he’s not done with her, and she totally misses that in favor of idolizing the relationship they don’t fully have. Devi kisses Ben because he showed her he cares—he stayed!—and she wanted him to know she got the message. Which means, next season, Devi gets to make a choice between something she spent all of season one wanting and something she hadn’t at all expected to want. But, in either case, she gets to explore a relationship with a boy who cares deeply about her—which makes me really excited for her because, you guessed it! I love Devi with all my heart.

[halstudandruz]

Jay Halstead- NSFW Alphabet

*Not my gif*

18+

A-Z

A- Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

“Baby, you have to give me some time to recover.” Jay chuckled kissing your head as you kissed all over his neck.

“I know, but you’re just so fucking hot.” You whined tracing your fingers over his chest down to his abs admiring his entire body.

“I promise you’re going to get it, but please just take a nap with me first?” Jay grinned pulling you closer into his side. You sighed giving in kissing his chest to lay your head down on it. Jay would help clean you up, because more often than not he liked to use the pull out method. Before climbing back into bed begging you for cuddles.

B- Body Care

He take pride in his arms and abs. He works hard on them and it’s obvious. He loves your neck. Kissing it anytime and he knows it drives you crazy too. Loves tucking his face into your neck moaning in to it.

C- Cum

Like I said before Jay prefers the pull out method. He loves cumming on you. Whether that be your ass if you’re in doggy, stomach, boobs, face, and to be honest you sticking out your tongue for, waiting to taste him it makes him finish even harder.

D- Dirty Secret

He likes when you take control. He would never tell the guys this, but there’s something about you handcuffing him to the bed that just drives him insane.

E- Experience (How experienced are they?)

Jay’s hot. Obviously he has girls throwing themselves all over him and who is he to say no? So coming into the relationship he was quite experienced. He proves this to you in many ways. Although you do get a little jealous with that fact from time to time it does seem to always work out to your advantage.

F- Favorite Position

He likes missionary. Some people think it’s too “vanilla” but there’s a reason it’s the most common position. Loves being able to take in your body, run his hands up and down your body, taking mental pictures, and taking notice of every face you make.

G- Goofy

Sleeping with Jay can be playful and lighthearted but it can also be completely serious and intense. It usually all depends on the day he had.

H- Hair (How well groomed)

Jay keeps himself nicely groomed. Even when he’s having a hard time and has a nice beard (which can we talk about how fucking hot he looks with a beard okay) he still keeps himself neatly shaven.

I- Intimacy (How are they during the moment?)

It depends on the day. If he’s been through a hard time/hard case you’re getting fucked hard and there’s no other way to put it. But he also has days where he pampers you. Drawing you a bath and starting there before carrying you to the bed and giving you extra attention to every one of your body parts that he loves.

J- Jack Off

Jay never really needs to jack off. Only really if he pulls out too soon, or if you go away for work. You love watching him jack off though, but that will be your dirty secret.

K- Kink

Nudes, phone sex (he loves being able to make you cum when he’s not even home. He’s working on a case, takes long hours, by the time he gets home he’s exhausted, but he still makes sure he can make you feel good), and bondage (specifically handcuffs obvi)

L- Location

He likes your bed. He’s tall so he likes having room to move and take care of you. But he also likes the back seat of his truck. Although he doesn’t have as much room he likes knowing he takes criminals down in this truck but also takes you down.

M- Motivation (What turns them on?)

He loves seeing you in his clothes. He’s taller so they’re always too big on you, but that’s what makes them look even better on you. More times than not he wouldn’t bother taking his own t-shirt off you before throwing you down on the couch and diving right in. Although he would never admit it he loved your teasing. You would slide up on his lap at Molly’s. Ever so slightly grinding down into him secretly. Leaning in to his ear to whisper all the things you planned to do to him later. He took this in stride though reaching down to run his hand up and down your thigh always a little too high, earning a blush from you, which was always his goal because honestly you blushing turned him on even more.

N- NO

Jay does not like hurting you. When he does use the handcuffs they are never too tight. He refuses to put you down. The word “whore” will never come out of his mouth it’s always words of affirmation, and like I said before no other people. It drives him insane knowing you even had sex before him. Threesomes would be an absolute no go. You are his and only his.

O- Oral (Preference I’m giving or receiving)

Don’t take it wrong he definitely likes receiving, loves when you drop down on your knees for him just when he gets home, but he also loves to spoil you. Walking in the door and throwing you on couch. Completely indulging you.

P- Pace

Jay does give you a couple minutes to adjust to him, going slow to tease you, but as soon as you’re ready as soon as he hears his name roll off your tongue a switch flips and it is rough and fast.

Q- Quickie (Opinions on quickies)

He doesn’t mind quickies. He would much rather take his time with you and have you at his mercy, but if you show up at his work and have the opportunity a quickie will be happening.

R: Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks?)

Jay likes to experiment to a point. He’s game to try new things, new positions, new places to have sex (risking different public places, he’s in intelligence he could get out of trouble if you get caught), but he also knows where to draw a line. Threesomes are an absolute no go. No other man or woman is getting their hands on his girl

S- Stamina

Jay’s stamina is great. It’s not that you aren’t good because you definitely are. He just has trained himself enough to go until you can’t walk to next day. However if he doesn’t want to you can make him cum in under two minutes.

T- Toys

He doesn’t mind you having toys. He would never use any, but he knows he can’t always give you the time and attention you deserve when he gets caught up at work. So, he’s okay with whatever you want to use, and you assure him the real thing will always be your number one.

U: Unfair (How much they like to tease)

Jay is the king of teasing. The amount of times he would pretend to kiss you on the cheek, but was actually whispering dirty thoughts and nipping your ear was incredible. When he was working on paperwork instead of a case you had come to expect the dirty descriptive text messages that would come through your phone. Praying that your work day would go even just a little faster. If you guys weren’t too tired you knew you would be in for some begging that night. His favorite word to come rolling off your tongue as he was in between your legs was “Please,” and by the end of the night you had always perfected that exact phrase.

V: Volume (How loud are they, what sounds they make)

Shockingly, at first Jay was shy, quiet. You didn’t earn so much as a couple grunts from him in a round. This kind of made you feel a little insecure. Made you feel like you weren’t doing as well as you hoped. So, you made it your mission to get those noises to come from him. Taking extra care and notes when it came to blowjobs, noticing what earned you a satisfied sigh, what made him throw his head back gripping your hair tighter. Even went as far as researching new riding techniques. Then one night you went to work. Between your mastered blowjob and skillful riding Jay could not hold himself together. Strings of moans, grunts, curse words, and your name rolling off his tongue, and you loved every fucking second of it. You think his voice is hot? You should hear his moan. From then on he had no problem being louder in bed and you learned the only reason he was quiet was because he was too focused on making sure he lasted.

W- Wild Card (Guys I feel like I suck at these 😂. But I pick your first time.)

You and Jay had both had sex before. Jay more so than you but you were both experienced. However Jay was very nervous. He pretended like he wasn’t but you could tell. He took his time with you making sure everything he did felt good. Taking note of every little thing you enjoyed. It was then that you realized you were in for one, and you were perfectly fine with that.

X- X Ray

Jay’s dick is solid. Literally the perfect dick. Along with the perfect man. Little over average in length and just the right amount of girth. Just enough that it fits in you perfectly without the pain of it being too big.

Y- Yearning

Jay’s sex drive is pretty normal. Would never force you into sex, and if you want it you get it, but it’s not every single night.

Z- ZZZ (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

It doesn’t take long for Jay to fall asleep after. You put him through some work and even though he is very fit you can easily wear him out. Plus you cuddled up next to him doesn’t help his fight to keep his eyes open.

[jaceyneedsabetterusername]

Would you do the sfw alphabet with polly gray and female reader?:)

Polly Gray SFW Alphabet

*** This isn’t expressly female x female but I’m trying to do all of the SFW Alphabets gender neutral so they apply to more people :) Sorry it’s not exactly the request but I hope it still works *** 

__________________________________________________

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Polly shows affection through caring acts. Even in a relationship, she can be somewhat motherly because she’s so used to being that mother figure so many around her. 

Physically, she’s kind of hot and cold depending on the situation. Especially since she’s a sexual assault survivor, she can become uncomfortable in physical situations very quickly and you work really hard to make sure that she always feels safe and comfortable. Other times, though, she loves to kiss you and she definitely has needs, if you know what I mean ;P 

 B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Polly is the kick ass best friend. She’s the one that you make stupid decisions with but you can also rely on each other to help the other one out. You tell each other EVERYTHING. You guys are actually more like really close siblings really. 

 C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Polly feels smothered very easily so a lot of times, cuddling is just lying in the same bed and gently running your fingers through her hair (or vice versa) and telling each other how much you love each other. 

 D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Polly can’t deny the aching to return back to her Roma roots, pack up a wagon, and just go see the world. She’s become accustomed to a life of luxury since Shelby Company Ltd. picked up and she likes the financial security but she’s got a wild soul and wants to share her world with you. 

 As far as cooking, Polly is a really good cook. Like her food is amazing. 

As far as cleaning, she’s eclectic. Her house isn’t a pigsty or anything but she has her fair share of small trinkets and objects around. 

 E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

She would hate to have to break up with you but if she had to, she would be secretly heartbroken but would keep it together long enough to get out of the room when she was done before breaking down completely. 

 F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

She wouldn’t totally jump the gun on engagements, not because she doesn’t love you, but because she’s hesitant when it comes to love. She’s lost so many people that she loves and then been used by others that it almost scares her when she feels it as does the possibility that she could lose you. 

BUT of course she wants to marry you! She wants to more than anything. She wants it to be a cute little simple wedding in a field with wildflowers and… yeah. It’s safe to say she wants to get married.

 G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Like I said earlier, she has a motherly energy around her so most of the time, she can be fairly gentle, physically and emotionally. She never wants to actually hurt your feelings (and she would NEVER hurt you physically).  

BUT she will not hesitate to call you out when you’re acting stupid or making her upset or anything. She loves you but she won’t allow you to walk over her or make decisions she knows will hurt yourself. 

 H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Polly is a big hugger. Well, not so big into them that she has to have her hands on you every single second of the day, but you guys definitely average on at least one or two hugs a day. 

Her hugs are warm and enveloping and they manage to make you feel safe and needed all at once. 

 I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It takes her a little while to finally say it but when she does, she is so sure that she means it that it’s not even something that she has to think twice about. 

 J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Polly doesn’t get jealous. Like at all. You guys have a very solid, trusting relationship so there isn’t a worry that the other one will cheat. That doesn’t mean that there isn’t the occasional insecurity but it’s never all that well-founded. You’d never cheat on the other person. 

When Polly starts to feel insecure, she’ll distance herself from you or from the situation and get herself a drink. 

 K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Her kisses will either be deep and passionate or quick pecks but there’s always so much love behind each one. 

Polly’s favorite place to kiss you is your lips. She feels like her connection to you is so much stronger when you kiss on the lips. 

 L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Polly loves kids. When she first found out she was having Michael and his sister, she was hesitant as to whether or not she’d be a good mother but then she lost them and found herself wanting nothing more than to have her children back. 

Even with Michael back now, she can’t help but think about the childhoods she missed out on witnessing. She would love to have that experience but knows that she’s too old to have her own children again. She can’t deny that she secretly hopes you will come across a poor orphan child and have to raise them as your own. 

 M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

When she’s sober, she wakes up before you most mornings. You’ll wake up to an empty bed but you can usually feel when she’s home or whether she’s left early. When she’s home, you can find her sitting in the living room with coffee and a book or the daily paper. 

 N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights are spent pretty lovey-dovey between the two of you. I’m talking laying in bed having deep conversations or staying up late laughing over a glass of wine (okay, maybe a bottle). 

 O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

It takes Polly a while to open up to you. It started when Tommy brought Michael into the picture. You knew that she’d had children in the past but it wasn’t until he was reunited with the family that she began to open up to you about her past. 

You were always aware of her second sight, though. It’s not something that she really hides anyways but, unlike a lot of other people in the family, you actually believe her. You don’t just claim to believe her to appease her. 

 P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Polly is not the most patient person in the world. She’ll put up with some crap if she knows that there’s a positive end goal but she’s pretty good at seeing when things are going to go to shit and when it’s one of those situations, there’s very little patience on her end. 

 Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Polly really does try to remember most of the things that you say but she’s under a lot of stress with those damn Shelby boys so there are some slips in memory sometimes. 

On the flip side, though, she’ll know things about you that you never told her because of her second sight. One time, she just started asking you questions about your childhood that would have required past knowledge and when you asked how the hell she knew about any of it, she told you that she’d been speaking to your grandmother who’d passed. 

 R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Her favorite memory by far was when the two of you spent the night camped out under the stars just outside of town. It was just the two of you, watching the sunset and then the sunrise the next morning. 

 S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Polly will literally FIGHT someone for you. She’d honestly kill for you (in a totally warranted kinda way… you know the Peaky Blinders are). Anyone messes with you, dealer's choice. You want somebody emotionally destroyed, she’ll insult the hell out of someone. Someone needs to get their ass beat? Polly has got it covered. NOBODY fucks with the person she loves.

 T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Polly likes sweet and simple. For her, it’s the thought behind everything that counts and not necessarily the monetary value behind it.

 V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

She definitely wants to look good. She’s put her time in mucking through all the crap but now she’s ready to look like a mother fricking queen. 

 W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

I’m gonna be honest here. No. She loves you more than anything except perhaps Michael but after losing everyone she’s loved at one point or another, she’s learned to not rely on other people to feel like a complete person. 

 Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

You love this woman to death but she’s got a bad habit of drinking a little too much sometimes and when she does, she just sort of passes out anywhere and everywhere. Although it’s getting better, you’ve come home before to find her passed out very very close to a roaring fire. 

[pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles]

If You’re Gone (Girls Talk  Boys part 32)

I think I've already lost you I think you're already gone I think I'm finally scared now You think I'm weak, I think you're wrong

If you're gone, maybe it's time to come home There's an awful lot of breathing room But I can hardly move If you're gone, baby you need to come home, come home There's a little bit of something me In everything in you

Ashton got to Cal's about 20 minutes after Cher texted him. He knocked but when he got  no answer he opened the door and let himself in, the place was a wreck. Calum had flipped his coffee table over slinging things across the room and he'd  kicked a hole in the drywall by his front door. Ashton carefully made his way around the mess hearing Calum upstairs. He saw the refrigerator door open and went to close it before heading up noticing the whiskey Calum had just bought was not there.

Ashton jogged up the stairs and peeked into Calum's bedroom. Seeing no sign of man or beast as he made his way down the hall. Calum had a 2 bedroom unit and had turned the second room into a gym/music room. He was sitting at his piano with his back to the door and Duke at his feet half slurring half singing “If You’re Gone” by Matchbox 20. Ashton shook his head, he knew this was gonna be a mess. He put a hand on Calum's shoulder causing him to look up with a tear streaked face and unfocused eyes.

“What happened?” Ashton hadn't ever seen Cal look this dejected.

“I fucked up,” Calum hung his head and sniffled fighting back tears again scooting over so Ashton could sit next to him.

“Did Camille break up with you? Cal I don't understand what's going on,” Ashton was puzzled.

“I acted like a complete asshole towards Camille, and she's probably never going to speak to me again. She's already blocked my number on her phone and all her social media,” Calum slumped against his shoulder and reached for the bottle before Ashton grabbed it.

“Getting sick everywhere won't make you feel better tomorrow” Ashton told him taking a swig himself draping his arm across his friend as Calum alternated between babbling and crying trying to explain the fight with Camille.

Cher pulled into the airport's unloading zone and took a deep breath. Both women had been crying as Camille told Cher everything that went down. Camille was devastated by the argument  and pissed beyond words but Cher knew she had the ability to compartmentalize and decide she wasn't dealing with Calum right now. With him deleted and blocked she had to focus on work and put her personal life on hold until she got back. Cher had always admired Camille's ability to just that, but also knew it was her way of avoiding dealing with her problems. She helped Camille with her bags and gave her a hug.

“You're gonna be great Cam, don't let this shit get to you. Calum knows he fucked up,” Cher cupped Camille's face in her hands sharing the sadness in her friend's eyes.

With a flash the sorrow vanished and Camille was angry and again Cher knew she was more comfortable being mad,  as Camille didn't do sadness well.

“Are you guys done? He thinks you broke up with him,” Cher asked her.

“No I mean, I don't think so. He really fucked up and pulling this right now made it so much worse. I'll deal with it when I get back. Thank you for texting Ashton to go check on him,” Camille shook the thoughts out of her head and put her game face on.

“I'll see you when you get back,” Cher gave her another quick hug before waving to Stephen who was already waiting for Camille in the terminal.

Before Camille made it to the escalator to head up to check in her phone dinged. Cher had sent her a $10 Starbucks gift card knowing Camille needed a pick me up.

Cher checked her messages seeing two missed calls from Calum and a text from Ashton.

Cal's drinking and in a bad way. I'm gonna stay over here at least until he passes out. He tried to call you, Camille has him blocked. Did they really break up?

Cher answered him

Camille won't talk to him until she gets back. He acted like a complete asshole and I don't want to talk to him either. Camille hasn't decided what to do yet I'll explain later.

Ashton set his phone down. “The girls don't want to talk to you right now.”

Calum nodded, he was now sitting on the floor with his knees pulled to his chest. Duke kept nudging at him and Calum would almost smile. Ashton had gotten some of the story out of him but Calum couldn't bring himself to repeat the worst he'd said. After a couple hours of drinking and listening to sad songs Ashton put him to bed and texted Cher.

I'm staying here tonight. I hope Camille is ok, Calum is too upset to talk about it but he knows he's wrong

Cher smiled and messaged back

Thank you for not defending him but still supporting him. I'll see you tomorrow daddy

Ashton chuckled and squeezed his dick through his pants glad this fight between their best friends wasn't coming between them.

Calum had spent two days holed up with his laptop and journal in his music room with Duke. Ashton checked up on him but they didn't talk much as Calum was watching the all the ProFantasySports live streams and scribbling down song ideas. Calum was laid out on the floor with his laptop watching Camille's interview on SportsTalk and Ashton was fiddling around on the piano when they both jumped at the sound of the front door slamming.

Footsteps came thundering up the stairs before Luke burst into the room.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Luke was angry and accusing.

Calum flinched at his words and Ashton stood up “Luke you don't know the whole story,” he said trying to calm him down.

“Actually I do, I was on the phone with her last night because she couldn't sleep,” Luke fumed. “He basically accused her of lying, wanting to cheat on him with her ex, and, this is the best part, accused her of using sex to get ahead in her career.”

Ashton was stunned and Calum couldn't meet their eyes, his face burning with shame.  

“The worst part is the timing of it. Camille feels like you’re trying  to sabotage her job. You need to figure out your insecurities and your jealousy because while she's going to forgive you this time, you will lose her if you keep it up,” Luke sat down and his expression softened. “I know you love her. I want to see you guys make it.”

“What did you come back from your vacation with Summer just to yell at him?” Ashton asked slightly annoyed.

“Did you and Summer have a good time?” Calum asked.

“Yes, thank you. We're really good right now” Luke replied. “I'm not here to fight. I'm here to help you get your girl back.”

“Wait did you say she forgave him?” Ashton asked.

“No she hasn't yet but she wants to. He needs to convince her, and we're going to help.”

The party was going strong but Camille wasn't really having fun. She'd escorted the contest winners around from breakfast, a day in the NFL Zone meeting players and testing their pass, punt, and catching skills before ending the day at a charity dinner. She'd promised Brandon Pearcy she'd drop by his party tonight and Stephen agreed to tag along. Being a sports agent Brandon had gone all out, he had clients on both the Rams and the Patriots so they'd split house down the middle, blue and gold on one side with silver, red and blue on the other. The food was themed accordingly, New England had lobster rolls, crab cakes, fried clams, Greek pizza, fluffer nutter sandwiches and whoopie pies. L.A. served up french dip sandwiches, Pink's chili cheese dogs, Pho, shrimp tacos, chicken and waffles and rice krispie treat chocolate chip cookies.

Brandon was always friendly and introduced her to several big name players. Rob Gronkowski, Tony Gonzalez, Calvin Johnson, Cam Newton and even Odell Beckham Jr who was extremely good looking and very flirty. People were snapping and posting pics and Camille couldn't shake the feeling she was doing something wrong.

“Camille,” a familiar voice was at her side and she looked up to see Quentin standing there.

She jerked back, panicking when he put his hand on her arm.

“Easy now, baby girl I didn't mean to scare you.” Camille relaxed seeing the concern on his face.

“Sorry I was lost in thought. You scared me.” Camille put her hand on her chest.

“You looked miserable,” he told her with a laugh before she noticed his eyes catch something across the room distracting him for a second.

Before she could turn around his attention was back on her “I know this is a work event for you but come hit this blunt,” he spoke quietly leading her out to a side patio where several people were smoking.

Camille took a puff and Quentin leaned down to talk to her.

“You need to leave this party. Brandon is going to make a move on you and he can be very aggressive and very nasty if he doesn't get his way.”

“Q, why are you telling me this? You think I can't handle myself?” Camille kept smiling and her voice low.

“Please trust me this one time, this will get ugly if you stay. His dealer just showed up and Brandon on cocaine It's something you don't want to see. It's only 9:30 my dude was just talking about getting out of here and hitting up this bar he knows that's got some decent food, you should go with the girls. I'll tell Brandon you're fighting with your boyfriend and left.” Quentin stopped when she looked surprised and hurt. “Damn I'm sorry, I was just making shit up. I'll go get your boy Stephen and we'll turn this night around.”

Quentin went back into the party and Camille found herself being surrounded and hustled out of the house by three women she'd just met.

They stopped once they got to the driveway and one of them began laughing “Well that was dramatic.” She stuck her hand out “Hi, I'm Brittany. This is Shay and that's Megan.”

“Nice to meet y'all. I'm still a bit confused as to what just happened,” Camille shook her hand.

Stephen, Quentin and three other guys were right behind them. Camille recognized two of them as  NFL players Patrick and Von. The other one, Jalen, she knew personally from her guest appearances on his ESPN show “Two Minute Warning.”

They ended up at Vortex for burgers before finding a silly karaoke bar. For the first time since she'd arrived in Atlanta she was actually having fun. Camille wasn't even worried about posting pics to Instagram, let Calum be mad. She wasn't doing anything wrong and if he couldn't see that then he had to go. Of course the thought of actually breaking up with him made her feel like someone knocked the wind out of her. She blocked that thought almost as soon as it popped into her head.

Tonight was her night with her new friends. Quentin left before midnight to make the teams curfew the rest of the group stay till closing at 3am. Camille had to be up at 11 AM to appear on Two Minute Warning in a surprise guest appearance. Camille texted Cher the details before getting some much needed sleep.

Cher hadn't ever had a Super Bowl party without Camille which made it really weird. Camille usually went all out with a Tex Mex taco bar but Cher went instead with pizza and chicken wings. It was the first time Cher had seen Calum since he stormed out of her house the night of the fight. She was pleased to see he looked like hell. He deserved it for making her best friend cry. Aside from that everyone seemed to be in a decent mood. They all cheered through Camille's segment where she dissected, correctly as it turned out, just how and why the Patriots would win. Everybody was in a great mood, and then the game started.

“Be serious, that game was a fucking snooze” Camille joked with Stephen as they presented their boarding passes to go home.

“The halftime show was worse than I thought it would be,” Stephen responded. “Both Sicko Mode and Sweet Victory deserved better.”

Camille laughed but then the Dramamine kicked in and she knocked out for the flight. Cher picked her up at the terminal.

“I hope you know Calum went all out for your return,” Cher warned her as they drove home.

“Mmmm we'll see,” Camille tried not to smile.

“Are you still mad?” Cher asked her.

“Yes, but I really missed him,” Camille sighed.

Walking in she immediately saw the place was filed with pink roses. She headed upstairs to her room and saw tulips strewn out on her bed with an envelope in the center.

Opening it she recognized Calum's messy handwriting and sat down on her bed to read.

My Darling Camille,

There is no excuse for how I treated you and I can't tell you how deeply ashamed and sorry I am. You are the best thing that has happened to me and I'm so afraid of losing you. I've already put you through so much I feel like an asshole asking you to forgive me. I should've never acted like you had to choose between me or your job. Your career is your life the same way mine is and that was completely unfair. You love what you do, you're brilliant, funny and I am so proud of everything you've accomplished. I didn't mean to act like you ever have to choose and I'm truly sorry.

The rest of what I said is completely inexcusable. I lost my mind for a second and lashed out at you and while there's no taking back what I said please know that I didn't mean it. I never thought you would cheat on me. My jealousy is all on me and I'm an absolute twat for behaving like that.

I know words are empty unless they're followed by changed behavior. I want us to really talk this out and I want to be more open with you. I've never been good at expressing my feelings but I want this to work. I want us to work. I have more to say but I'd really like to do it in person. Please give me another chance.

Yours Always

   Calum

Luke watched as Calum paced back and forth staring at his phone. It had been almost an hour since they'd seen Cher's car come back from the airport. Calum was sweating and looked nauseous. There was a knock at the door and Luke saw Calum slump in relief when he answered.

“I thought we should talk,” Camille said before she saw Luke “hey peanut, are you guys busy?”

“NO,” both men answered in unison.

“I talk to you guys later,” Luke gave Camille a quick kiss on the cheek and quickly left.

Camille found herself wrapped up tightly in Calum's arms the second the door closed.

“Camille I am so sorry. I'm an idiot and an asshole. Please don't leave me, I want to be better for you.” Calum was trying not to lose it, barely choking out the words.

They stood there like that, both of them crying together, his face buried in her hair and her face pressed to his chest. Until Camille finally had to pull free because she was all stuffy. Returning from the bathroom wiping her eyes she found Calum splashing his face with cold water at the sink. She came up behind him hugging his waist before he turned and picked her up setting her on the counter.

He looked her in her eyes, “so are we ok?”

Camille nodded, “yes but this can't happen again. Mistakes will be made and this won't be our last fight, but I don't want to keep having the same fight. Respect is the minimum I expect from you. My job is going to get hectic next fall and you're going back on the road. We're going to have enough problems without creating new ones for no reason. I need you to talk to me., I need you to trust me. You're so good at hiding your feelings babe, I never thought about you being insecure. I look at you and see Calum Hood: this gorgeous rock star who I'm lucky enough to be with. I can't imagine you'd ever think you weren't enough.” Camille brushed his curls off his face and stroked his jaw.

“I just think you're amazing and you could do better than me,” Calum couldn't meet her eyes now. “Honestly you could do better than most of the guys you're around. None of them are good enough for you either.”

“You saw the pictures?” Camille asked.

Calum nodded looking guilty. “I watched all your live streams and checked your Insta and Twitter constantly.”

“And?” Camille raised her eyebrows.

“And it was the first time I saw you smile since you got to Atlanta. I'm a complete dickhead for ruining your trip. I'm glad you got to have some fun,” Calum met her eyes again. “I have a surprise for you if you'll come upstairs.”

“Calum we are not jumping into bed. I couldn't anyways,” Camille laughed before giving him a light kiss on the lips.

“No come upstairs to the music room,” Calum put her back on the floor and pulled at her sleeve.

She followed him upstairs and he sat her in a chair before getting behind his piano. He cleared his throat and Camille could see he was nervous but once he started to play and sing Camille was left in awe of his talents.

I was just coastin' Never really goin anywhere Caught up in a web I was gettin kinda used to stayin' there And out of the blue I fell for you

Now you're lifting me up, instead of holding me down Stealing my heart instead of stealing my crown Untangled all the strings round my wings that were tied I didn't know her and I didn't know me Cloud nine was always out of reach Now I remember what it feels like to fly You give me butterflies

Kiss full of color makes me wonder where you've always been I was hiding in doubt till you brought me out of my chrysalis And I came out new All because of you

Now you're lifting me up instead of holding me down Stealing my heart instead of stealing my crown Untangled all the strings round my wings that were tied I didn't know her and I didn't know me Cloud nine was always out of reach Now I remember what it feels like to fly You give me butterflies, yeah You give me butterflies

Now you're lifting me up instead of holding me down You're taking my hand instead of taking my crown Untangled all the strings round my wings that were tied I didn't know you and I didn't know me Cloud nine was always out of reach Now I remember what it feels like to fly You give me butterflies You give me butterflies

“Calum, that was beautiful,” Camille was trying not to cry.

Calum motioned for her to come sit in his lap and when she did he kissed her and looked her in the eye. “I'm sorry for everything. I love you and don't want to lose you.”

“Calum do you know what you just said?” Camille was stunned.

“Yes,” he was smiling at her his eyes bright. “I love you my darling Camille, my everything, my queen.”

“I love you too Calum,” Camille had more to say but it was smothered by his kiss.

@biba3434 @toofadedtofight @babygirlcashton @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995 @slimthicccal @vfdsstuff @unabashedlymyself @5sos-ficssmut

[theonceoverthinker]

OUAT 1X18 - The Stable Boy

I’m very interested to see my reaction to this episode this time! On my first watch, I didn’t like it (At least the past portion), but with time and more insight into Regina’s character, that just might change!

It’s not because of you, Reggie! i love you!

But what was my deal then, and how has it changed?

Find out alongside me under the cut!

Press Release Emma continues her exhaustive search for evidence that will prove Mary Margaret’s innocence in the murder of David’s wife, Kathryn. Meanwhile, in the fairytale land that was and before evil blackened her soul, Regina must choose between betraying her mother, Cora, and marrying for true love, or betrothing royalty and living a regal - but loveless - life; and the event that caused the Evil Queen to loathe Snow White is revealed. General Thoughts Past It’s weird. I know Cora is an amazing villain, and it may be the fault of time, but I sometimes forget just how menacing and evil she was. So seeing the evil she’s capable of show itself again with such intensity was like when you touch someone else after getting a good dose of static shock going through you. Just as with Regina’s villainy up to this point, Cora’s is overt and strong. Even when she’s praising Regina, it’s a backhanded compliment (“You’ve finally done something right”). But oddly enough, it’s when the abuse is less over the top that it’s at its worst, and by that, I mean accepting Leopold’s proposal on Regina’s behalf and getting Snow to divulge Regina’s secret. How Cora’s lunges at insecurities and just makes the bold yet quiet moves to get everyone to do what she wants is terrifying. I don’t have a lot to weigh in on the plot, but I do think that watching it on the second go did a lot more for me to highlight Cora’s abuse and make me realize the quality of the flashback. See, for me, I always felt that Daniel was the main thing for Regina’s revenge about Snow, and I felt on the first go that that was a pretty lackluster approach for such a cool villain because I found Daniel boring (I still do, and I swear that I tried to like him). However, it’s occurred to me recently that this isn’t so much as the main point, but the final straw after a long line of Cora’s abuse. Cora’s abuse is what drives Regina’s character and with this in mind, I went into my rewatch of this episode and found it much more compelling. I mean, all you have to do is look about to see the impact Cora had on me.

Also, as I said before, I don’t like Daniel. I find his character boring and bereft of chemistry with all who he interacted with despite his decent dialogue. Given that a lot of (Not fully, but still a fair amount) Regina’s backstory is dependent on their interactions, it sucks, but I just wasn’t feeling like there was much of a character to connect to.

Finally, I wanted to take this moment to drop a theory I’ve held for a while about this episode. I feel that Regina has a secondary purpose for going after Snow. Now, of course, she blames Snow for Daniel’s death, but that’s lead her to be mislabeled as overly petty. However, I think that that blame has something behind it. Regina doesn’t have magic at this point, and her beloved was taken from her. She has a lot of anger, and no place to responsibly place it. Of course, it belongs with Cora, but Cora just killed her boyfriend and has been magically binding her for quite some time. What chance does Regina have up against someone like that? But Snow? Snow’s just a little kid. Snow’s vulnerable and trusting. Snow was the one to tell the secret. And suddenly, for as wretched as it is, you see how the cogs turn. Present I loved August’s advice to Emma here. Sometimes, I find that skill helpful when I’m writing fanfiction, and the way it fits into the murder mystery was interesting. Their rapport, alongside August’s mystery is a large driving force behind the plot as Emma looks for the way to connect the crime to Regina. They also did a really good job establishing Sidney and then exposing him with that flower pot. For a while, one can forget that it’s there, but once you see it, you know what’s going to happen. Still, the journey to using the plot device was an engaging one. As for the rest of the plot, I cover more of it in “Arcs,” but I found that it was well placed and dramatic. Mary Margaret’s conversation with the DA was especially helpful in reinforcing after last week’s “breather” episode just how bad things are and how important it is that Emma solves this case and fast. Insights -I love watching Rumple and Regina negotiate. Theirs is such an engaging push-and-pull relationship and even in the case of foregone conclusions like the one the audience goes in knowing here, the exact what and how are never what you expect it to be. Because of their power, influence, and shadier dispositions, there’s always something up their sleeves and seeing them poke and prod in search of those secrets is just the best. Also, I love that clash of tones. Regina’s harsh words clash brilliantly with Rumple’s more flowery language. -Hair and makeup really did a wonderful job on the younger Henry Sr.! -”She’s getting a little old for fun.” “Stop coddling her.” I like the implication that Cora’s abuse of Regina started out smaller than it is today and that Henry Sr. was allowed to have a bigger influence on Regina’s development during her childhood. -”I’m not criticising you. I’m helping you.” Holy shit. That is such an abuser line. If it wasn’t coming out of Cora, I’d almost call it heavy handed, but since it s Cora, it’s such a good moment of character establishment. -There’s this great frame where Henry Sr. is walking towards Cora with a face that screams “I’mma kill you if you harm a hair on our daughter!” Even though Henry Sr. was definitely afraid of and overpowered by Cora, it’s clear that he was always on Regina’s side. -The segues on this show between the past and present crack me the fuck up! -In regards to young Snow...HOW DOES THIS SHOW CAST PEOPLE SO PERFECTLY?! -Thank you, Gold for acknowledging the skeleton key! -Gold just has the best expressions during the Q&A with the DA. Every look he gives MM just says “you’re lucky your daughter is breaking this curse.” -Mary Margaret, that’s not true. After Kathryn hurt you, it was your denial of David that kept you two apart. Not saying you were wrong for that you definitely weren’t - but facts are facts. -Regina looks so cute in that blue dress! I’m pretty sure anyone on OUaT can pull off a blue dress! -I love how Henry Sr. reflects both Regina and the audience’s reaction to this horrifying proposal. -So is Daniel just the Mills’ family’s stable boy or both theirs and Snow’s family’s stable boy? -Regina unknowingly gave Snow and Charming the perfect lyrics to their big show-stopping musical number about how they’d overthrow her! XD -I love Regina’s suit in the warrant scene. Red and black - despite her rocking blue as well - are totally her colors! -That whole sequence of Cora trapping Regina and Daniel in the stable reminded me of The Haunted Mansion! -Snow looks so cute in her flower girl dress! -So, the camera doesn’t show Regina’s face as she’s telling Snow how Daniel ran away, but you can just hear the pain behind the monotone in her voice solely because of how different it is from the rest of her lines. Regina’s lines usually host such passion and ferocity, but here, she’s bereft of it. Arcs Kathryn Nolan Case - So, we sort of come to an ending here. Now all that’s left to find out is the “who-dunnit,” so to speak. Personally, I found the case itself boring as well as the conversations about the proceedings. That said, in a way, I’m glad we had it. I’ve seen fics without it happening and they leave David and Mary Margaret with so little to do. Besides, we got some really good character moments because of it, mostly those that go through Emma and I feel comfortable saying that this doesn’t have to do with the fact that Emma is my favorite character because for everyone else (Barring Rumple and Regina who also had amazing interactions), the events of this arc for everyone else become completely irrelevant going forward. Emma and her interactions (Barring those of the other awake people’s) are the only moments that retain prevalence for their characters in the future That’s not a problem: The character moments still stand out - I still adore everything with Ruby and the scene with MM and David in the jail cell was powerful - but it needs to be accounted for. The Mystery of August Booth - We finally get those first glimpses of Pinocchio. It reminded me a lot of Michael’s symptoms in Season 3 of Jane the Virgin. They’re so small that you forget about them with the plot, but as they happen, they make you wonder just what it is. Why throw in a splint? ...I guess we should say a splinter! XD Favorite Dynamic Snow and Cora. I know these two only had one scene together, but damn, it was a good one! When Cora talks to Snow, she’s so warm and very much like a grandmother in the way she speaks, and you can see through Snow’s expressions just how much that paired with what she’s saying is preying on her still present grief over her mother. It’s like that study about the bullfrogs when the water gradually increases. Snow’s about to hurt her friend, and she doesn’t even recognize that she’s being played because of Cora’s delicate manner of approaching things. Writer Adam and Eddy did a really great job here! They have a way of writing very iconic lines, and  “Love is the most powerful magic of all” has proved itself lasting - both in verbal and song form! XD In addition, A&E know how to make a villain sympathetic while not forgetting that they’re evil and following through on that. I’ve seen a lot of bad writing of villains (And some of it comes from OUaT too) where they just throw a sob story on a villain and then just flip a switch from villain to hero, but Regina still retains her villainy  even as we’re learning about her tragedies, and that makes her feel more alive! Rating 9/10. I love all of the character development we get here. The introduction of Cora gives us that taste of all that’s to come and she’s fucking petrifying, even with the knowledge that she dies! And seeing Regina’s awful childhood really sticks where this resentment of Snow and Mary Margaret is coming from and it makes it glorious! Additionally, the present had a great story too and delivered a cool sort-of ending to the Kathryn Nolan case while giving Emma and August an interesting conflict to work with. I took off a point for Daniel just because of his impact on the story that I actually got compared to what I felt that I needed.  ()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Thanks to @watchingfairytales for putting this project together and to everyone who read! I’ll see you next time when we...RETURN! ...These puns don’t get all that subtle. Season Tally (157/220) Writer Tally for Season 1: A&E (50/70) Liz Tigelaar (17/20)* David Goodman (33/50) Jane Espenson (36/60) Andrew Chambliss and Ian Goldberg (29/40) Daniel Thomsen (8/10)* Vladimir Kvetko (9/10* (* = Their work for the season is complete)

Operation Rewatch Archives

[will-iswriting-again]

Squish

Title: Squish

Fandom: Sander Sides

Pairing(s): Logicality

Genre: Angst with a happy ending

Word Count: 2564

Warning(s): Weight Mention

Tag List: @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch

Finally finished @lamp-calm-sanders fic, so sorry it took so long (I say knowing full well this is sadly the shortest amount of time it has ever taken me to write a fic, I am so sorry) (also spent like and hour trying to fix this because tumblr hates the copy paste option)  

~~~

Logan hadn’t always felt bad about his body. Logan hadn’t always looked at his chub with disdain or fantasized what it would be like to be skinny, he hadn’t always wondered what it would be like to not be fat. God, he hated that word, he hated it’s definition, the connotations it brought when he said it, he even hated the ugly way it seemed to roll off his tongue. But he hated that he hated his body even more. He knew he wasn’t unhealthy (He encouraged Thomas to eat healthily often and Logan was not much of a hypocrite) it was just how his body metabolized food and he understood that. He knew the other three loved him and his body but he still couldn’t stop the negativity he felt when he thought about it.

Like he said though, he hadn’t always hated his size, for most of his life the thoughts never dared cross his mind. He wasn’t really sure when they had started, when Thomas was younger he hadn’t minded his size, if anything he liked his body. And he knew the other sides had no problem. Roman didn’t really care, he could playfully quip with Logan no matter how skinny or fat he was. Virgil liked to act like it didn’t bother him but he secretly loved the comfort that came with Logan’s hugs that wouldn’t have felt the same if Logan were any skinnier (he had always taken pride in being the only one besides Patton who could calm the anxious trait down.) And Patton, of course, loved Logan’s size, when they were younger Patton would always gush about how adorable Logan was, calling Logan his favorite “squish.”

Squish (adj)- a way of describing someone who is smol (see card 37), loveable, and sometimes even physically squishy.

Logan pretended he thought it was annoying but he secretly loved the endearing nickname. A warm fuzzy feeling would erupt in his chest whenever Patton said it, his heart would swell and his cheeks would turn bright red (when he was older and could understand emotions better he defined this feeling as happiness.)

Happiness (n)- the state of feeling happy (showing or feeling pleasure/contentment)

But that all changed during Thomas’s teenage years. It had started off small, Thomas would watch a movie with his friends, the coined “fat kid” was always the butt of the jokes. Logan had brushed it off at the time, high school children were often harsh for the sake of it, there was nothing wrong with him, the cruelties of high school were to blame. Then Thomas’s chubbier friends would get picked on at school, Logan once again would brush it off as useless teenage bullying but now there was an inkling of doubt (what if they were right? What if he was the wrong one here, what if they were right) Then social media began to take off and everywhere Logan would people just like him endlessly picked on for no other reason than how big they were. They were accused of being lazy, fat, disgusting, unhygienic, unmotivated, wrong, bad, wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong

After careful data analysis and consideration Logan finally concluded that being fat was bad. If so many people hated it (hated him) then statistically it must be true. Fat was wrong, he was wrong.

If Logan was younger he would have talked to Patton or Virgil about it. He would have crawled in their beds and cried his feelings away until he felt better. He could’ve sobbed into Patton’s chest and laid his insecurities out as they cuddled in his bed. He could have leaned on Virgil’s shoulder as they watched rain trickle down the their windows, just enjoying the quiet content of it all. 

But it was too late for that, they had grown distant as Thomas had gotten older. Virgil was much more controlling during high school, he knew all the horrible things kids in school could do and he just wanted to protect Thomas from it all. But the other sides never thought that was the right way approach to high school and soon it became a constant war of Virgil vs. everyone else. So it hadn’t really surprised Logan when the other’s bickering had grown so tiresome for the anxious side that he had decided he was done with it all and retired to his room. Patton had been upset at first but Virgil could still do his job and he came out eat when he needed to so eventually Patton relented. By the time Thomas started making vines Logan had only seen Virgil a handful of times.

And Logan, too, had become more distant, Patton and Roman were too emotional most of the time (this was when he missed his left brain bro... the name was Virgil’s suggestion) and he did not have the time or energy to deal with them. He and Roman started disagreeing more often, Roman’s outlandish ideas sometimes overpowering any logical thought. Patton, of course, tried to bond with him every once in awhile but each time Logan would brush it off, so yeah, Logan was not in any position to ask any of them for help.

So he dealt on his own, and he was good at it. He learned to bottle his emotions up into this tiny spot in his chest and never touch them again. Using that method he could cope with all his issues without any negative connotations for Thomas. He was fine.

Until he wasn’t.

~~~

“This one’s for you Patton!” Thomas exclaimed, phone in hand. It was a late Tuesday night and they had yet again been subjected to Sides Q&A. “What’s your favorite cartoon?”

“Ooh! It’s so hard to choose,” Patton gushed. “But if I have to choose I’d saaaaaay, Steven Universe but Legend of Korra is always a close second.” Patton said with a grin. It’d been a bad day for Logan, nothing particular had happened it was just one of those really bad days where the mirrors seemed to distort his image until he felt like he was looking at an ugly monster. It was one of those day where he didn’t want anyone to see him, it made him feel open and vulnerable and he couldn’t deal with that right now.  It was just one of those days where he just wanted to lay in his bed and hide under the covers until the sun went away. But life was never exactly kind to Logan when exactly kind when he wanted it to be.

“Virgil, in your opinion, who gives the best hugs?” Thomas queried, breaking Logan from his train of thought.

“I don’t really have many options considering Patton’s the only one who hugs me but I guess I’d say Patton,” Virgil said, bitterness from his years of exclusion leaking through. Pain pierced through Logan’s heart, he used to be Virgil’s favorite hugger.

Longing (n)- a yearning desire for what once was or what could be

“I will make an effort in the future to engage in more comforting physical contact.” Logan managed to squeeze out of his chest, stoic as ever, determined to hide the swell of emotions threatening to break the surface.

“As will I!” Roman declared. “I shall become the best hugger you have ever seen Virgil dear.” Virgil rolled his eyes but everyone could see the light blush that dusted his cheeks.

“Ah! Here’s another one for Logan,” Thomas interrupted. “What’s your favorite vocabulary card?” The interests of the other three perked up. It seemed like Logan had hundreds of cards and they’d only seen a handful.

”There are many that I’ve grown fond of but at this time my favorite is Extra.” Logan replied, flipping the card out from his back pocket.

Extra (adj)- Someone who is over the top, flamboyant or dramatic when it is not necessary

“It was not only one of the easier ones to learn but it is also an adequate insult for Roman.” He said with a mischievous smirk. Roman feigned an affronted gasp.

“I’ll let you know,” He cried, hand over his heart “I take that as a compliment.” He said dramatically and sniffled.

“See, case in point. You are extra.” Logan said, pointing at him, earning a chuckle from Virgil and another gasp from Roman. Thomas chuckled but pulled up another ask.

“This one’s for all of you,” He said. “Who do you all think is the hottest?” Immediately, they all jumped in, putting in their thoughts.

“Noooo, I can’t choose we’re all beautiful.” Patton said in distress eyes bouncing to all of them wildly.

“Oh it’s me of course,” Roman said gallantly, striking a pose.

“Why are you forcing us to choose who is what society expects to be ‘hot?’”Virgil asked, shaking his head. 

“I hate to say it, but I do agree with Roman,” Logan spoke up and everyone paused to stare at him, even Thomas, Logan rarely agreed with Roman, much less on frivolous things such as this. “While you all are beautiful in your own way, Roman is the only one who fits the societal version of a hot version and actively tries to maintain this image.” No one spoke for a moment, the air tense and uncomfortable. Everyone was staring at Logan like he’d just grown two more heads, he looked away, not used to so much attention on him at once. Finally, Patton broke the silence.

“You mean, we are all beautiful, you forgot yourself.” He whispered and Logan tensed, Patton was the type of person who just sort of knew when someone wasn’t feeling like themselves and Logan didn’t want Patton to know right now.

Intuition (n)- the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning

“Yes, yes, of course, merely a slip of the tongue,” Logan lied, his fingers tapping on his wrist to the beat of his nervous heart rate. “However, this question was shallow and I’d prefer not to take part in ones like these again, therefore I shall be going. Goodbye everyone.” He sunk out as quick as he could, he could hear the others saying their goodbyes and following behind him as he willed all his strength into not sprinting into his room and collapsing into his bed.

“Hey, Logan,” Virgil mumbled from behind, managing to catch him in the commons. “Umm.. sleep well.” He said, smiling softly, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. It may not have seemed like much but Logan knew it was so much more, when he was ready he would go to Virgil and finally talk about what was bothering him but he wasn’t ready yet and Virgil understood that.

With that comforting thought, he finally made it into his room and collapsed on the bed, the metaphorical damn breaking as his chest seemed to cleave in two, silent tears leaking out as he curled in on himself, bringing his knees to his chest. But he surprisingly didn’t feel particularly bad, there wasn’t any of the usual uncomfortable ball of sadness weighing on his chest, instead there was nothing. But he didn’t feel good either. It wasn’t like the weight had been lifted, it seemed more like a pleasant numbing. If he was being honest, he didn’t really feel anything at all.

He could deal with that, not feeling was fine, Logan was perfectly okay with not feeling. It probably wasn’t healthy but it was something different from the aches that usually plagued him everyday and Logan could use every break he could get. Patton, on the other hand, was not fine with that and chose a very poor time to barge into Logan’s room.

“Hey, kiddo, I noticed you were feeling down earlier and wanted to know if-” Patton paused, noticing the strange emptiness of the room. “Logan?” Logan didn’t move, laying still in his void of nothingness, he wanted Patton to go away and take all his feelings with him, Logan did not need them right now, he couldn’t breathe when they were there and needed them to leave.

“Oh honey,” Patton cooed and hurried over to the bed to sit next to Logan, his hand resting soothingly on Logan’s knee. “Is this about the Q&A question earlier?” Logan hesitantly nodded numbly, staring right past Patton. It was useless lying to Patton, he’d pester Logan until he confessed if he didn’t.

“I-I was not feeling my best.” He managed to mumble, the salty sensation of his tears shocking him closer to reality.

“Why?” Patton asked softly.

“It.. reminded me that I-I do not have a.. d-desirable body type.” He said slowly and Patton frowned.

“Is it because you’re chubbier than us?” Patton asked and Logan nodded again, more tears flowing as a silent sob wracked through him. Patton frowned and turned to face the crying boy. “You know that your size has nothing to do with your beauty right?” Logan paused.

“B-But it does,” Logan said earnestly. “I have looked over so much data, and the data shows that fat people are ugly. So I must be ugly... It’s only logical thinking.” He trailed off at the end, looking away from Patton and focusing on a tiny speck of dust in his covers.

“Can you sit up kiddo? I want to prove you wrong.” Patton said after a moment, an unidentifiable look in his eyes. Logan frowned but relented, sitting cross legged across from Patton, who smiled and poked his arm.

“See these arms? You may only see flab, but I see that these arms are the same arms that give the best hugs in the mindscape, even Virgil will agree with me on this one.” Patton lightly squeezed his arm and Logan rolled his eyes.

“And this tum?” Patton lightly pinched a bit of fat around his stomach. “This is the cutest tum I have ever seen. Even if you don’t think so.” He gave Logan a quick tickle as Logan giggled slightly and squirmed away.

“And you said your body isn’t hot? Well we must be talking about different people because Logan baby those hips do not lie.” Patton whistled, gaining a small chuckle from Logan. “You are perfect just the way you are Logan, your size is beautiful and just the right size for you. Your size is a part of who you are, you wouldn’t be my favorite squish without it.” The childhood nickname sent Logan over the edge as he launched himself into Patton’s arms, sobbing as Patton cupped Logan’s head against his shoulder. He let years of anguish and self loathing overflow as he clung to Patton like a frightened child. Patton calmingly shushed him and whispers words of kindness into his ears as they fell back against Logan’s bed, content in each other’s arms.

Logan knew he’d always have bad days. He knew there would be times where he couldn’t stand to look in a mirror. There would be days he’d want to hide away and never let anyone in but he knew Patton and the other sides would always be there for him and in that moment, for Logan, that was enough.

Also, Logan lied, extra was not his favorite vocabulary word.

Squish (adj)- a way of describing someone who is smol (see card 37), loveable, and sometimes even physically squishy. (i.e Logan)

[halstudandruz]

Greg Gerwitz (Mouse)- NSFW Alphabet

*Not my gif*

18+

A-Z

A- Aftercare

Mouse is super super clingy after sex. Begging you to cuddle him. Kissing all over your face before he swipes you up in his arms and stuffs his face in between your neck and shoulder.

B- Body part

He feels quite solid about his dick, and he is proud of it. For you he’d probably say your breasts. Even though it’s hard to pick just one thing he loves about you. Your breasts fit perfectly in his hands and you catch him admiring them on more occasion than one.

C- Cum

He loves making you cum multiple times. Nothing makes him feel more proud and cocky. So if he’s feeling it you better expect a night full of his face stuffed in your pussy because he loves tasting you and a night full of fucking.

D- Dirty Secret

He would love you be able to make a sex tape with you. He’s worried if he brought it up you would turn him down and he’s too shy to try, but it would definitely come in handy for those times you went away to visit your family.

E- Experience

Mouse is a shy mofo. So, he did have little experience, and him going away for a few years didn’t help that. But he still knows exactly what he’s doing with what he does know and he is open to criticism.

F- Favorite Position

Missionary. He’s a simple man. Plus it doesn’t mean you can’t make up your own subcategories of missionary.

G- Goofy

Although Mouse tries to be serious sometimes you can’t help but laugh at some of his comments which usually ends up in him laughing too.

H- Hair

The carpet matches the drapes. He’s prim proper down there just like his outside appearance. Well after Jay got his ass back into shape.

I- Intimacy

He’s a sucker for romance. Loves to make every moment with you special.

J- Jack Off

Mouse likes to Jack Off. He got so used to it from being in the Rangers. It’s always to pictures of you now though so it doesn’t bother you at all.

K- Kink

Edging. He loves to edge you and likes when you edge him. Mutual Masterbation too.

L- Location

Couch. He also enjoyed it on the kitchen counter whenever you convinced him to do that.

M- Motivation

He likes your nerdy side. Likes when your glasses fall just a little too far down your noise. As you look up at him through your eyelashes before fixing them. How you would tell him stories about that book you just finished. Absolutely mesmerized by every word you were saying, not being able to look away from your lips imaging all the things they can do.

He loves hearing you say his real name. He didn’t know if it was because he was so used to hearing people call him “Mouse” now or what, but hearing you moan out “Greg” got him going in ways he can’t even describe.

He loves when you tell him you love him. For so long he thought he was unlovable. For so long he thought he would be alone. So, you make it a point to let him know even when he’s down between your thighs. Which always seemed to earn a big grin from him before he sucked and licked harder on your clit.

N- NO

No sharing. He’s too insecure for that.

O- Oral

He fucking loves your blowjobs. Loves how hard you work to earn a moan for him. Love how you look with his dick down your throat. Love how your lips just fit perfectly around him. Loves how rough your voice sounds after he fucks your mouth. Loves every part of it.

P-Pace

Mouse is more about slow and sensual sex. He loves loving you. He loves taking his time feeling every part of you with each thrust.

Q- Quickie

He would rather love you down for hours, but he’s definitely not opposed to quickies he knows you both have busy schedules and he would rather take a Quickie over nothing.

R- Risks

Mouse actually loves trying new things with you.

S- Stamina

His stamina is great! His discipline and training definitely has an effect on it. He could last for hours on end.

T: Toys

He doesn’t mind the small occasional toy. Vibrators, bullets, things like that, but you know he would feel a little insecure if you bought a dildo that was bigger than him. It doesn’t really bother you though. You are more than happy with the real thing.

U: Unfair

Mouse loves teasing you just as much as you love teasing him. It usually ends up turning into a competition.

V: Volume

Mouse makes a number of different sounds during sex and they are all heavenly. You swear it could make you cum without being touched.

W: Wild Card (How has he changed in bed?)

It’s not that Mouse isn’t good looking. Obviously he very much so is he was just never a “ladies man.” Always kind of shy and keeping to himself. He had a few sex partners, but not too many. So whenever you came along he was always super gentle with you in the beginning. Never wanting to push you too far, always asking if what he was doing was okay.

“Baby are you sure? If you want me to stop just say so.”

“Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

You had always assured him that everything he was doing was more than okay and if it wasn’t you would let him know. However now he is more rough. Still the sweet Mouse he always was. Always assuring he never went too far, but now he has no hesitation grabbing your hair and fucking your mouth or flipping you over in a second to fuck you from behind.

X: X-Ray (What’s going on in those pants?)

Not to be blunt, but Mouse has just the right amount of dick, and he definitely knows just how to use it. He has more length to him than thickness which is totally fine with you. He’s obviously fairly short so you didn’t know what to expect, but you were pleasantly surprised.

Y: Yearning

You’d swear he’s still a teenager with how high his sex drive is. You’ve lost count how many times you’ve been pushed up against the wall upon him getting home for work, or the number of times he’s hopped in the shower with you in the mornings.

Z: Zzz

Mouse has a hard time falling asleep. His PTSD and nightmares always coming back to haunt him in the worst of times. Having you cuddled up into him though makes it all just a little bit easier.