#on the first day of winter break i sent her a fucking. deviantart note. because i had like vowed to finally talk to her but chickened out
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have i told the story about someone accidentally calling me autistic and everyone laughing and she apologized later but i was like i mean no offense taken really bc i probably am. and she was like 😅ok?
#the thing i took offense from was. everyone laughing at the mere mention of autism. and how everyone knew it was me.#because the word she was trying to say was artistic#😭#like. yeah good one guys she really told a banger by. checks notes. misspeaking and saying something Also True#i don’t know if anyone there specifically had suspicions that i was autistic. but i think people could tell i was yk. not ok LMAO#i felt the least judged in orchestra. bc my Skils were what mattered and i didn’t really have to talk to people i wasn’t familiar with#being a violist was cool because everyone was pretty cool. and the section was small of course#i had the biggest most embarrassing squish on the section leader 😭#i called it a crush at the time but i think i was just blinded by how cool she was#and interpreted my aesthetic and platonic attraction as. romantic#interestingly i had had sort of a ??? not ‘parasocial’ but similar relationship to her before even meeting her#bc my friend i met thru my other friend was friends with her in middle school#on the first day of winter break i sent her a fucking. deviantart note. because i had like vowed to finally talk to her but chickened out#my friend was literally like pushing me over to her and i like ran out the door instead#… on second thought it may have been pretty clear i was autistic.#punktalk
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