#on sibling relationships that seem really unrealistic from my pov

[kitwilsonsass]

No no! Just curious why

Man it's literally so hard to sit here and try to describe, because there are so many reasons why I should absolutely loathe the character. In a lot of ways I *do* loathe the character. Like I actively feel guilty about liking him since rewatching. Of all the fictional assholes I love, he's the closest to *real* and that makes it really hard to excuse. But sometimes good *characters* are not good people, they just play a good role in the story.

THERE'S A WHOLE ASS POORLY CONSTRUCTED NOVEL OF A THING UNDER THE CUT!! 1k+ WORDS OF ME BEING ABSOLUTELY BORING AND FULL OF BAD ANALYSIS! YEEHAW!!!

I am really drawn to sibling dynamics. I am an absolute sucker for a big brother figure. And again, this is why I should completely hate him. I wouldn't typically sit around and project and come to backwards ass conclusions about shitty brothers. I have enough of a fucking complex about them on a very personal level (and fathers, while we're at it) to want to sympathize with it in my escape media. But I'm not going to give every bummer 'got left waiting sat on the stairs all day' life story I ever had.

Point being, a lot of my feelings towards Billy come from the fact that I would take a fucking bullet for Max, and he's terrible to her. Absolutely fucking terrible. She thinks he hated her. She hated him. And that's 100% understandable.

Yet, in *hindsight*... I just... don't think he hated her. At all. I think he was possessive and little co-dependent and more protective than he'd ever admit? She's, weirdly, the only one who really understands all his issues, and she might not even know that. Not to mention he probably took a lot of literal hits for her she never even knew about. This doesn't make it okay. He's a piece of shit. But it fucking *compels me though dot gif.*

(Sidenote: Haven't read the Max book, heard S3 contradicts it anyway, but I do know apparently he gave her her nickname which is adorable if true. And that he took a bunch of belt lashings. Please get fucked, Neil. How is that guy still allowed to be alive?)

The Lucas scene is rough because it is framed SO fucking badly. It is. It's hard to watch.

...but when I go back to it:

Suddenly I'm stuck knowing this dude gets his ass beat because of this girl all the time, and this dude grew up watching the only woman in his life that gave a shit about him get the shit beat out of her too.

...and now I'm stuck knowing he watched this girl try to walk away from some kid who kept yelling after her, watched them argue, watched Max storm off visibly upset

And despite the really off-kilter music and the wording after that, I'm stuck thinking 'he was pissed at him because he *made max upset*'

Is that it? Probably not. He's probably just shit and it's exactly what it says on the tin and for some reason wasn't pushed despite them not really shying away from a few other choice blunt subjects and words. But I also can't *not* see it this way now. And I can't *not* think about the dad at all, given the things he said and clearly believes about people (and all the toxic masc. bullshit expectations). Be that directly influencing behaviors or the fact that if Max came home with Lucas, shit would probably go down. Explained but not excused, abused kids do take after their parents a lot of times, he's still young and people can change, etc etc.

At best it's still a bad look.

Jump forward. When he gets called out for losing her at the end of the season, he says she doesn't need a full time babysitter. Maybe, probably, he did just really want to get to his date. But he also knew damn well where she went. He goes to Lucas's house. He immediately knew she went with him. He didn't HAVE to make a case for her taking care of herself. But he did? That sticks with me for some reason.

When he finds them eventually, as insincere as it is, there's a real big Jerkass Has A Point moment where he points out that his sister is in the middle of nowhere at a stranger's house, with a high school dude who is insisting she isn't. We know better as the audience, but from a more realistic perspective, he ain't wrong.

Then she physically stands up to him and he backs the fuck off like a scared puppy and seemingly leaves her alone from then on. Which, to Vec's point, is a lot braver than him, when he didn't stand up to *his* abuser the episode before. Suddenly next season the dude who was grabbing her arm is on the floor begging her to believe him when he says he didn't mean to hurt anybody.

(Sidenote Numero Dos: Somehow despite sharing a house, none of them ever got flayed. Probably just an oversight, but if you're gonna give me blanks to fill in, I'm gonna make assumptions.)

To get to Season 3 and sum stuff up *without* Max for the most part:

His biggest declaration at the end of Season 2 was that "no one tells [him] what to do." He gets flayed for that effort. This happens to him after he stares at himself in the mirror, which his father previously called him slurs for. I really, really hate that.

The dude objectifies the living fuck out of himself probably because it's the only control he actually has over anything and anyone in his life and at the end of the day and he gets punished for it.

His heroic sacrifice moment is all just standing up to a big giant oppressor which he was never able to do before in his entire life. Both his oppressors turned him into someone he never would have wanted to be. Something something, even evil has standards. Yes, like they said, he *is* a gross bully but he's not a murderer who ties people up in his trunk.

...............Also he just looks *extremely fucking small and vulnerable* in this shot despite the camera looking up at him, and despite him being an imposing monster the entire episode:

i'm going to wrap him in a blanket and give him so much hot cocoa and so many buckets to throw up bleach into and you can't stop me.

also also this cinematography is just really fucking cream pants worthy:

like god i want to watch that episode on imax.

ANYWAY

I basically skimmed the entire season but nothing was necessary to point out other than the fact that he's crying like every single fucking moment of every single fucking day and that he's apparently GREAT with little kids. Like people trust this asshole. With their children's literal lives. Huhwha. Probably because he gets out of his house and gets to be his own person, in his literal subverted element.

His last significant memory is "this is your new sister" and he fucking yeets himself for some kid he just met that knows more about him than anyone has any right to (and I say that very pointedly. It's AUTONOMY, PEOPLE. SAY IT WITH ME.).

TL;DR BILLY IS A WATER PERSON MOMMA'S BOY WHO DIDN'T WATCH OUT FOR THE RIP CURRENT SHE WARNED HIM ABOUT AND HE ONLY EVER JUST WANTED TO PROTECT HIS SHITTY LITTLE SISTER (AND DID IT CONSISTENTLY IN A REALLY SHITTY WAY)

He's terrible and Max and the audience have every right to have wished him dead, or not to be "redeemed" or think it wasn't enough. I'll sit here all day and come up with 'if he'd lived.....'s but it doesn't mean I even think he should have.

but i'mma still hug him and i'mma still sit here and say the first thing el did when she got to cali was send back some really cool shells she found on the beach with a note to leave some for billy. YOU CAN'T STOP ME.

Other shit I think is worth noting: That time he had the audacity to say "Here I am," as if he didn't enter the show to that fucking song. The Camaro is a thing of beauty. The Lost Boy aesthetic. Moving in Stereo. And if I haven't stressed enough the propaganda of this post that Billy is a Hero To Women, Actually, he apparently makes them happy scream. So he's doing something right despite seeming like the biggest self involved douche on the face of the planet.

Oh, and his summer wear photoshoot. Obviously. That's just fun marketing.

[nexstage]

So, I've read Aaron Ehasz’s ideas for Azula’s redemption arc if there was a possibility for one but sadly there wasn't, and I like it, partially though. Why? Because there is only one tiny, backfiring and nagging problem with it: Zuko as Iroh 2.0 for Azula.

Like, ok, if there were another season of Avatar for Azula to be redeemed, I would love to see her trying to fix her relationship with Zuko and understand his POV while he does the same for her even with all the angsty fights, and a lot of trauma to recover from.

What I don't think it's a good idea is to have Zuko in the position of a second Iroh to help Azula recover and make amends with the people she has hurt. And I have a good explanation for this.

Number 1: Zuko is not emotionally ready

Look, he might have redeemed himself but the job of helping his sister whom he has a deeply complex and chaotic relationship is beyond his league. Heck, it was bad and irresponsible enough from the writers to free Iroh from any responsibility and put Zuko on the throne even though he has spent the majority of his time chasing Aang and then surviving in the Earth Kingdom which neglected his studies about politics and militia of the Fire Nation.

And don't make me start with the emotional baggage and other stuff he really needs to work on. There is a lot he still must take care of himself before having such a responsibility as the “redemption path” for Azula.

Besides, for him to be ready what Zuko needs is some time for himself to figure out who he is and what he wants. What's his purpose or the choices he has? The same goes for Azula. They need time and space for each other to find themselves after being abused and pitted against one another by Ozai for years. Because having your identity based on being superior to your sibling to not be punished or reach an unrealistic expectation is not healthy at all.

Number 2: Redemption arc or Plot Device arc?

In one of the ATLA posts I've made on Tumblr, I talked about how Azula’s framing in the show didn't let her be a relatable character or be genuinely complex because the ATLA crew wanted her to be just a standard cool villain; therefore, her tragic backstory and complexities were just accessories that could enhance others’ arca but not hers. Well, I think that post can be applied here because what would Azula’s redemption be if given the chance to be made for a new season? A proper way to deepen Azula’s character or just a way to put Zuko on a higher pedestal than the one he has?

I think the second option is the most plausible. Of course, it is speculation but with the show's framing of her character, her treatment by the hands of the comics, and how people have described her as irredeemable, evil, and sadistic while ignoring the environment, factors, and people that have made her this way, I doubt this redemption arc had been made for her character only and not to enlighten someone else.

And with how Ehasz has described it, my doubts have increased too: “At the deepest moment in her own abyss, she would have found: Zuko”, “Zuko -patient, forgiving, and unconditionally loving”. Yep, this seems more like an attempt to turn Zuko into Iroh 2.0 and Azula into Zuko 2.0, and her redemption arc into Zuko’s redemption arc 2.0.

Number 3: Showing off Zuko’s questionable traits

“Zuko -patient, forgiving, and unconditionally loving”, honestly, I don't know if Ehasz knows Zuko’s character at all and his dynamic with Azula from A to Z.

First, patient? Sure, Zuko has matured and it's normal to relapse in moments of stress but since when he is patient? He wanted to enter a storm in The Storm episode despite how dangerous it was and even fought one of his crew members when he scolded him for his recklessness. He attacked Aang for not training hard enough and not taking Ozai seriously even when Zuko didn't tell the Gaang about his father’s plans to burn the whole Earth Kingdom sooner. And let's not talk about how his character was handled in the comics.

Forgiving? This one is a bit difficult. I could just put that Zuko criticized Aang’s air nomads' beliefs about forgiveness and how forgiving the man that killed Katara’s mother was the same as doing nothing but I also take into account that Zuko said to Aang that he was right about violence not being the answer Katara needed to heal.

Forgiveness and Zuko are very complicated. Zuko has all the right to not forgive Ozai for all the pain he put him through or Azula for the animosity between them, but it would be interesting if he forgave her to have a new chance at siblinghood or just to have his own chance at healing.

However, it's a hard question to answer if he is forgiving. Let's not forget that Zuko, as the Blue Spirit, attacked the man that humiliated Iroh when they became EK refugees. But there is also the fact that even after Azula attacked Iroh in The Chase, Zuko didn't tell him “Uncle, we have to find Azula so we can avenge you”, instead he said, “I know what you're going to say: she's my sister and I should be trying to get along with her”. Now, according to this phrase, Zuko thinks Iroh has a better way to deal with Azula that doesn't involve violence even if he knows that if he doesn't improve his firebending, his chances against her will be slim. And because Iroh is the most amicable of the older fire brothers, Zuko trusts his judgment and experience about siblinghood.

Last but not least, unconditionally loving. That is very complicated to answer too because the only source of supposedly unconditional love was Ursa before she disappeared and then Iroh took her place but both favored Zuko over Azula for different reasons which isn't the best example for an impressionable child about how unconditional love is or should be.

Look, I’m not saying that Zuko cannot be any of those things but it takes time and effort, and perhaps that’s why Azula’s redemption is important for Ehasz because it would give Zuko the chance to show forgiveness, patience, and unconditional love when it should be about Azula and how she becomes a healthier and better person instead of being the plot device to show off Zuko’s traits.

Number 4: If not Zuko, then who?

Azula has been failed by the adults of her family in so many ways. Ozai abused her by turning her into a soldier and weapon; Ursa favored Zuko over her because he was easier to deal with and Ursa couldn’t find a common ground between them to understand her daughter; Iroh barely cared about her and then told Zuko to fight her two times even when the second one he had said earlier than if he fought Ozai it would feed the cycle of violence. Hypocrisy at its best, uh?

While Ursa is still hiding, I think the best option is Iroh as crazy as it is. Despite the bad blood between them, Azula and Iroh have a lot in common: they are the cunning, successful, and powerful prodigies of their fathers. Both were favored by Ozai and Azulon respectively. Both were affected negatively by the war: Azula’s whole childhood was robbed by Ozai when he started to mold her into a weapon, and Iroh lost Lu Ten which broke his will to fight in the Ba Sing Se Siege. Both create their own firebending moves and are excellent fighters.

It would be great to see how Iroh’s opinion of Azula gradually changes from negative to sorrowful and positive after understanding that she was also a victim of Ozai’s machinations and that her talents were twisted and abused for his gain and not the crazy girl that needed to be taken down like some kind of final boss from a video game or rabid animal.

It would also be fun a comradeship and respect between two jaded prodigies of the FN royal family. He could tell Azula about his adventures in the Spirit World and what he learned from the other nations, his adventures in the Earth Kingdom with Zuko as refugees which could be emphasized by Zuko explaining how terrible the war had affected the people.

About Ursa, if the comics didn't exist and the discovery of where she was and what she has been doing since her disappearance had been handled much better, I bet she would be distraught that one of her children had ended up in an asylum and her mental state is in such disarray. It would be the start for Ursa to reach out to Azula to make up for her shortcomings as a mother and have a common ground between them, to form a solid and healthy mother-daughter relationship.

And while Iroh and Ursa would be responsible to take care of her emotionally, she could meet other people in the Fire Nation to help her see the error of her ways and the wrongness of the war.

Her friends Mai and Tai Lee could be part of the team if they meet again and reconcile so Azula doesn't have to travel only with Iroh and Ursa but also with people her age. And the Gaang can be of help for her redemption too, though it will be much more difficult after what happened in the catacombs of Ba Sing Se.

All in all, those are the reason why Zuko as Iroh 2.0 for Azula’s redemption arc is a bad idea. I mean, he can be a part of her redemption arc, but if he is put on such a pedestal it would backfire for both of them. Better if she has a net of support and builds her own path post-war instead of being the copy-and-paste of Zuko’s redemption arc just to make him look better.

[simonsnowichooseyou]

This excellent essay was posted by @goodbyedandelion and reposted on Instagram—however their account sadly seems gone now. But it is in rememberence of their Tumblr spirit that I post a continuation to their essay!

EVEN MORE Reasons Why Carry On is so groundbreaking as a YA Fantasy/Romance

Misconceptions/Character Complexity

A large topic in YA Contemporary is gossip, but I feel like fantasy doesn’t touch on this as much. Think of how others perceive one another in Carry On. Early on we learn that Simon, for example, saw Penny as different because of her race. But of course, we quickly know this isn’t true.

But what about Agatha? In Harry Potter, for example, Lavender Brown and other feminine characters are often looked down upon because of their femininity. We often as a culture perceive beauty as overcompensation for what’s inside. Sometimes Agatha is looked at in the same light in Carry On, but when we see things from her POV, we realize that Agatha is perhaps the smartest one there. Maybe she’s not Penny Bunce-smart, but she has the survival instincts that Penny lacks.

Agatha isn’t the only one. Baz looks cold and unfeeling from others’ POVs, but we quickly learn that he is a boy with a soft heart that’s been hardened by his past. Everyone thinks he cares about nothing but we know he cares about his mother and how she’d feel about him; his father and step-mother and siblings; Simon, of course; Bunce, in his own way; he even cares about flowered suits and dramatic entrances! We think Bunce is nerdy and perhaps annoying, but we learn she’s very sweet and like a mother to Simon. And the mage. Ugh, the mage. We think he cares about Simon but we learn that for every bit he cares about Simon, he cares about the war more.

Rowell doesn’t allow any character to be simple, stereotypical, or as they appear. My sister, for example, was saying that Baz sounded like a stereotypical gay man in the media. But he’s not, is he? He might love fashion but Rowell does not make him simple or stereotypical. Everyone is so complex, and she uses the multi-POV to not just show us their complexity but also the complexity of how they are viewed by others.

Woman on Woman Drama/Anger

For years and years, only one woman was allowed to have a true seat at the table in films. Take Indiana Jones, the original Avengers, and Star Wars for example. This woman was often made to be the sex appeal or romantic interest, but I’ll save that for another day. Because of there only being one spot, it set a precedent that women in media needed to fight with each other to take that spot, thus depriving us of women getting along!

At first, I was worried Rowell had fallen into this trap. Bunce thinks Agatha is simple and too feminine, Agatha thinks Bunce is a major pain in the ass. Their dislike for one another is complicated in that they’re essentially two different types of feminism battling it out, and half of their fight was about Simon and their roles in his life.

But in the end, Penny and Agatha create a relationship that exists outside of their relationship with Simon. Penny sees Agatha’s strength and resilience; Agatha recognizes Penny’s harsh exterior for what is is. When Agatha moves away, they text without his even knowing. Penny is the one that decides they need to check on and save her. In the end, penny and Agatha fight alongside one another.

Rowell didn’t just give us a feminine friendship—she showed us what we’ve been doing, and how to get from Point A to point B. I think it’s the most underrated part of the series.

True Friendship

It might sound bad, but I truly believe a lot of today’s media ruins the idea of friendship. I just feel like none of the portrayals are realistic. Friends are either joined at the hip and have never fought (toxic) or never get along (also toxic). The fact that Baz and Penny and Simon and Penny and Agatha and Penny can get into fights but still continue to love one another platonically is really heartwarming to me.

Trauma/Mental Illness

I remember getting to the end of Harry Potter and thinking “he went through all of that and we’re just supposed to leave him now?” We see some remnants in the most cursed play ever: The Cursed Child. But more than trauma we see someone who looks back on the days they risked their life everyday with *longing.* While that’s about the most Harry Potter thing Harry Potter has ever done (and the most canonical part of that play) it’s so unrealistic. You’re telling me Harry grew up with nothing and was an amazing father—minus a few spats with his son. You’re telling me Harry was able to hold it together emotionally after fighting for his life from ages 11-18 without a therapists help? You’re telling me Harry lost two father figures in the ministry of magic AND spent 7 years going through what amounted to a lesson titled “the government is corrupt” just to be a part of that government!?

Wayward son isn’t like that. Wayward Son shows us what happened to Simon afterwards, and it’s not peaches and cream. He had therapy, he quit therapy. A lot of us have been Simon on that couch, and we all needed the Baz in our life to drag us across a metaphorical America. Wayward Son is hands-down my favorite book. Realistic depictions of mental illness, check. Subverting our expectations of after the end, check. Reading it feels like taking a road trip, check.

As OP mentioned, Simon is a beloved chosen one because he’s just so wrong for the role. He’s not levelheaded where he should be, he’s bold in all the wrong places, he couldn’t possibly maintain a professional relationship with the coven. Meanwhile his super-hot enemy Baz was the absolute perfect choice to be chosen, but he was completely passed over. And part of this chalks up to how Simon became so powerful—fate isn’t twisting its whims this way and that. Simon is only chosen because he was a Petri dish experiment-gone-wrong baby. When Simon asks the fates why, really he should be asking the mage. There’s something delightful about the fact that Simon was made. The chosen one was made, and in the same process, so was the greatest threat.

De-escalation

I think it’s clear by now that Carry On is a great book, Simon Snow is an amazing series, and Rainbow Rowell sure can write. But I feel the need to point out that the end of Carry On wasn’t well-received by everyone. I recommend the series to everyone I know and some people are really disappointed you don’t get a big magical battle at the end. Some people think Simon filling in the humdrum was a cop out. But I disagree. I felt it was thrilling to witness a book where war was as stupid in fantasy land as it can be in real life. This is the first fantasy I’ve ever read where they find a better way to handle conflict than senseless fighting. It’s emotionally rewarding, to me, to see de-escalation. To see conflicts fixed before they start to be huge problems. It was a risky choice for an end, you have to admit. But Rowell pulls it off amazingly.

Nothing is Wrapped in a Bow

A day will never go by without me thinking about the fact that Simon Snow Salisbury doesn’t know who his parents are. Or how Baz will never know what exactly happened with his mother—whether she really ended herself to avoid vampirism and whether she would’ve done it to her too. We’ll never even quite understand the mage’s plan behind fix the humdrum and get an all powerful boy wizard on his side. Rowell doesn’t wrap everything up. She gives you closure as often as she gives you something to ponder. The ending of Harry Potter was so controversial, I think, because it spelled out so clearly much of what was happening. And what you didn’t learn in that epilogue, Rowling released later through Pottermore and interviews. That’s fine and dandy—but there’s something to be said for ending Simon Snow’s books with questions. Not infuriating questions but rather things that I’ll always ponder—that will shed new light on different situations depending on how I look at them. Rowell sets a precedent that you can fill in Simon’s world with your imagination while also reminding us that life doesn’t have endings. Not really, the way books to. Rowell is one of the few writers of today’s fantasy, I’d argue, who’s okay letting things go unanswered. There’s always a thread of fantasy and magic going. It’s something that will keep Simon alive in my heart for many, many years to come.

So yeah, that’s what I think about when I think about Simon Snow. It’s not nearly as coherent as the original post but I hope you enjoy it.

[alethiometry]

MYRRINE!

How I feel about this character

I ADORE HER AND WOULD PROTECT HER WITH MY LIFE. i think she’s such an interesting character if you sort of read between the lines. i don’t think it’s a fault of odyssey that we don’t see a lot of her motivations, since it’s already a very very long game. uhh i have more to say but it falls under some other questions, so read on:

All the people I ship romantically with this character

xenia, anthousa... nikolaos in pre-canon. that being said, i’d love to have seen more of their interaction post-canon—judging by the dinner scene she can at least stand to be in the same room as him, and since they’re both lieutenants on my ship i do see them interacting (though that is preprogrammed for all sailors) so i like to imagine that although they’re not together romantically anymore, they are at least on speaking terms.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

timo! i always knock her out and recruit her so that she and myrrine can hang out on the adrestia lmao. i know a lot of people ship the two of them, but to me timo looks considerably younger, so i always viewed their relationship as mentor-mentee.

My unpopular opinion about this character

hahaha i think we’ve talked about both these points before, but: myrrine is perfectly justified in wanting lagos dead AND in that one bad ending where she banishes the eagle bearer for killing deimos. from her pov, lagos was a member of the cult that destroyed her family and tortured and brainwashed her youngest child. she knows that lagos is being blackmailed, but i don’t think she is obligated to feel sorry for him. leonidas was threatened by the cult, too, and he never bowed. and maybe it’s unrealistic to hold every goddamn spartan to that high a standard, but you can kind of see how her view on the cult, namely resisting the cult, might be a little skewed.

(i still spare lagos every single playthrough tho...can’t say no to my spartan bf)

regarding the exile ending: in order to get that ending, you have to promise to her at every opportunity that you will save your sibling. and then, at the last moment, you choose the kill option (bc the other option gets myrrine killed, and then you have to kill your sibling anyway). she literally never interacts with deimos until the final taygetos scene. all she knows is that both of her children are alive, and the elder child has promised again and again to bring hom the younger child. and then, seemingly out of nowhere, the elder child just turns around and kills the younger child in an act of revenge.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

i wish the odyssey novelization had been myrrine’s backstory instead of a retelling of the events of the game. (the origins novel iirc goes into bayek and aya’s lives pre-canon so it’s not unprecedented to have a novel outside the timeline of the game to which it is tied.) i want to know what happened to her mother and brother after leonidas died, since neither are present in the game. did she even know her father well, before he went off to thermopylae? or did she grow up with only stories of him? i want to know how she met pythagoras and how she felt about him and about her “duty” to have a child with him. was he kind to her? was he understanding? or was he the same old awkward nerd we met in the game? and how did she and nikolaos deal with all that—especially considering how clear it is how much he loves both children, and sees them both as his, regardless of biological parentage. i want to know what life was like for her in sparta, as their princess, after thermopylae; their house in the game seems fairly nondescript, not really royal in any way. i want to know more details of her life in korinth and as a pirate: how she pulled herself back up after she was led to believe that both her children were dead, how she started to fight back against her grief and despair and how she learned to find joy and purpose in life again. and when did she learn about the cult? i want to know how she went from one of the best pirates xenia had ever sailed with to a well-respected archon on naxos, and how she navigated politics and what kinds of inner conflicts she dealt with in allying with sparta despite everything she’d been through and all it had taken from her. i want to know, especially, how she feels knowing that the eagle bearer has this awful responsibility as the keeper of memories that she’d played a part in having unwittingly thrust upon them, and if she ever felt like a pawn just going through the motions dictated by her family’s bloodline.

send me a character and i’ll answer some prompts and maybe ramble a lot more than i originally intended, oops

[scifrey]

In February of 2017 I had the great pleasure of addressing the Grant MacEwan University English Department with a keynote speech titled “Your Voice is Valid.”

This speech was all about Mary Sues, fandom, and marginalized voices, and is a direct response to the negative reactions that media texts receive when they announce a protagonist that is deemed to be a "Mary Sue".

In the intervening years I think the message of my talk has become even more vital to creators, so I thought I’d record a  new video of the speech to share with a wider audience.

 If you liked this video, you can find more of my writing advice on my website.

Read the full speech on Wattpad, or below:

(Text may not match the video exactly as I did alter some of the phrasing.)

*

My friends, I have a declaration to make. A promise. A vow, if you will. And it is this:

If I hear one more basement-dwelling troll call the lead female protagonist of a genre film a ‘Mary Sue’ one more time, I’m going to scream.

I’m sure you’ve all seen this all before. A major science fiction, fantasy, video game, novel, or comic franchise or publisher announces a new title. Said new title features a lead protagonist who is female, or a person of color, or is not able-bodied, or is non-neurotypical, or is LGBTQA+.

It might be the new Iron Man or Spider-man, who are both young black teenagers in the comics now, or the Lt. Michael Burnham of Star Trek: Discovery, or the new Ms. Marvel, a Muslim girl. It could be Jyn Erso, the female lead of the latest Star Wars film or Chirrut, her blind companion. It could be the deaf FBI Director Gordon Cole from Twin Peaks or Clint Barton from Fraction and Aja’s Hawkeye graphic novel series. It could be Sara, of Dragon Age fame or Samantha Traynor from Mass Effect, both lesbians, or Dorian also from Dragon Age, who is both a person of color and flamboyantly queer. Maybe it’s Lt. Stamets and Dr. Hugh Culber, played by Anthony Rapp of (best known for his time as Mark in Rent) and Wilson Cruz, both open out gay men playing openly out gay men in a romantic relationship in Star Trek Discovery. It could be Captain Christopher Pike, from both the original Star Trek series and the reboot film, who uses a wheelchair and assistive devices to communicate. Or maybe it’s Bucky Barnes, aka the Winter Soldier, fights with a prosthetic arm in the comics, or Iron Man, whose suit serves as Tony Stark’s ego-tastic pacemaker.

And generally, the audience cheers at this announcement. Yay for diversity! Yay for representation! Yay for working to make the worlds we consume look more like the world we live in! Yay!

But there’s a certain segment of the fan population that does not celebrate.

I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about.

This certain brand of fan-person gets all up in arms on social media. They whine. They complain. They say that it’s not appropriate to change the gender, race, orientation, or physical abilities of a fictional creation, or just protest their inclusion to begin with. They decry the erosion of creativity in service of neo-liberalism, overreaching political-correctness, and femi-nazis. (Sorry, sorry – the femi-“alt-right”).

It’s not realistic. “Women can’t survive in space,” they say, “It’s just a fact.” (That is a direct quote, by the way.) “Superheroes can’t be black,” they say. “Video game characters shouldn’t have a sexual orientation,” unless – it seems - that sexual orientation is straight and the game serves to support a male gaze ogling at half-dressed pixilated prostitutes.

“And strong female characters have to wear boob armor. It’s just natural,” they say.

These fan persons predict the end of civilization because things are no longer being done the way they’ve always been done. “There’s nothing wrong with the system,” they say. “So don’t you dare change it.”

And to enforce this opinion, to ensure that it’s really, really clear just how much contempt this certain segment of the fan population holds for any lead protagonist that isn’t a white, heterosexual, able-bodied, neurotypical, cismale, they do everything they can to tear down them down.

They do this by calling that character a ‘Mary Sue.’

When fan fiction author Paula Smith first used the term ‘Mary Sue’ in her 1973 story A Trekkie’s Tale, she was making a commentary on the frequent appearance of original characters in Star Trek fan fiction. Now, I’m going to hazard that most of these characters existed as a masturbatory avatar – wanna bone Spock? (And, um, you know, let’s face it who didn’t?) They you write a story where a character representing you gets to bone Spock.

And if they weren’t a sexual fantasy, then they were an adventure fantasy. Wanna be an officer on the Enterprise? Well, it’s the flagship of the Starfleet, so you better be good enough to get there. Chekov was the youngest navigator in Starfleet history, Uhura is the most tonally sensitive officer in linguistics, and Jim Kirk’s genius burned like a magnesium flare – your self-representative character would have to keep up to earn thier place on that bridge. This led to a slew of hyper sexualized, physically idealized, and unrealistically competent author-based characters populating the fan fiction of the time.

But inserting a trumped-up version of yourself into a narrative wasn’t invented in the 1970s. Aeneas was totally Virgil’s Mary Sue in his Iliad knock off. Dante was such a fanboy of the The Bible that he wrote himself into an adventure exploring it. Robin Hood’s merry men and King Arthur’s Knights of the Round Table kept growing in number and characteristics with each retelling. Even painters have inserted themselves into commissioned pictures for centuries.

This isn’t new. This is not a recent human impulse.

But what Paula Smith and the Mary Sue-writing fan ficcers didn’t know at the time was that they were crystallizing what it means to be an engaged consumer of media texts, instead of just a passive one. They had isolated and labelled what it means to be so affected by a story, to love it so much that this same love bubbles up out of you and you have to do something about it, either in play, or in art. For example: in pretending to be a ninja turtle on the play ground, or in trying to recreate the perfect version of a star fleet uniform to wear, or in creating art and making comics depicting your favorite moments or further adventures of the characters you love, or writing stories that encompass missing moments from the narratives.

‘Mary Sues’ are, at their center, a celebration of putting oneself and one’s own heart, and one’s own enjoyment of a media text, first.

Before I talk about why this certain segment of the fan population deploys the term ‘Mary Sue’ the way it does, let’s take a closer look at this impulse for participatory play.

Here’s the sixty four thousand dollar question: where do ‘Mary Sues’ come from?

I’d like you take a moment to think back at the sorts of games you enjoyed when you were about seven years old. Think back. Picture yourself outside, playing with your siblings, or the neighbour’s kids or you cousins. What are you doing? Playing ball games, chase games, and probably something with a narrative? Are you Power Rangers? Are you flying to Neverland with Peter Pan? Are you fighting Dementors and Death Eaters at Hogwarts? Are you the newest members of One Direction, are you Jem and the Holograms or the Misfits? Are you running around collecting Pokémon back before running around and collecting Pokémon IRL was a thing?

That, guys, gals and non-binary pals, is where Mary Sues come from. That’s it. It’s as easy as that.

As a child you didn’t know that modern literary tradition pooh-poohs self-analogous characters, or that realism was required for depth of character. All you knew was that you wanted to be a part of that story, right.  If you wanted to be a train with Thomas and Friends, then you were a train. If you wanted to be a magic pony from Equestria, you were a pony. Or, you know, if you were trying to appease two friends at once, then you were a pony-train.

Self-insert in childhood games teach kids the concept of elastic play, and this essential ability to imagine oneself in skins that are not one’s own, and to stretch and reshape narratives is what breeds creativity and storytelling. It shapes compassion.

Now, think of your early stories. As a child we all told and wrote stories about doing what, to us, were mundane everyday things - like getting ice cream with the fictional characters we know and love.

My friend’s three year old tells his father bed time stories about going on walks through Home Hardware with his friends, the anthropomorphized versions of the local taco food truck and the commuter train his dad takes to work every morning. He doesn’t recognize the difference between real and fictional people (or for him, in this case, the stand-ins that are the figures that loom large in his life right now as a three year old obsessed with massive machines). When you ask him to tell you a story, he talks about these fictions as if they’re real. And he does not hesitate to insert himself into the tale. “I did this. I did that. We went there and then had this for lunch.” He is present in all his own stories because, at this age, he understands the world only from his limited personal POV.

As we grow up, we do learn to differentiate between fantasy and reality. But, I posit that we never truly loose that “me too!” mentality. We see something amazing happening on the screen, or on the page, or on a playing field, and we want to be there, a part of it.

So we sort ourselves into Hogwarts Houses. We choose hockey teams to love, and we wear their jerseys.  We buy ball caps from our favorite breweries. We line up for hours to be the first to watch a new release or to buy a certain smartphone. We collect stamps and baseball cards and first editions of Jane Austen and Dan Brown. We want to be a part of it. Our capitalist, consumer society tells us to prove our love with our dollars, and we do it.

And for fan creators, we want to be a part of it so badly that we’re willing to make more of it. Not for profit, but for sheer love. And for the early writers, the newbies, the blossoming beginners, Mary Sues are where they generally start. Because those are the sorts of stories they’ve been telling yourselves for years already.

But as we get older, as we consume more media texts and find more things to adore, we begin to notice a dearth of representation – you’re not pony trains in our minds any more. We have a better idea of what we look like. And we don’t see it. The glorious fantasy diversity of our childhoods is stripped away, narratives are codified by the mainstream media texts we consume, and people stop looking like us.

I’m reminded of a story I read on Tumblr, of a young black author living in Africa – whose name, I’m afraid, I wasn’t able to find when I went back to look for it, so my apologies to her. The story is about the first time she tried to write a fairytale in elementary school. She made her protagonist a little white girl, and when she was asked why she hadn’t chosen to make the protagonist back, this author realized that it hadn’t even occurred to her that she was allowed make her lead black. Even though she was surrounded by people of color, the adventures, and romance, and magic in everything she consumed only happened to the white folks. She did not know she was allowed to make people like her the heroes because she had never seen it.

This is not natural. This is nurture, not nature. This is learned behavior. And this is hegemony.

No child grows up believing they don’t have place in the story. This is something were are taught. And this is something that we are taught by the media texts we consume.

I do want to pause and make a point here. There isn’t anything fundamentally wrong with writing a narrative from the heterosexual, able bodied, neurotypical, white cismale POV in and of itself. I think we all have stories that we know and love that feature that particular flavor of protagonist. And people from that community deserve to tell their stories as much as folks from any other community.

The problem comes from a reality where when it’s the only narrative. The default narrative. The factory setting. When people who don’t see themselves reflected in the narrative nonetheless feel obligated to write such stories, instead of their own. When they are told and taught that it is the only story worth telling. ‎

There’s this really great essay by Ika Willis, and it’s called “. And I think it’s the one – one of the most important pieces of writing not only on Mary Sues, but on the dire need for representation in general.

In the essay, Willis talks about Mary Sues – beyond being masturbatory adventure avatars for young people just coming into their own sexuality, or avatars to go on adventures with – but as voice avatars. Mary Sues, when wielded with self-awareness, deliberateness, and precision, can force a wedge into the narrative, crack it open, and provide a space for marginalized identities and voices in a media-text that otherwise silences and ignores them.

This is done one of two ways. First: by jamming in a diverse Mary Sue, and making the characters and the world acknowledge and work with that diversity. Or, second: by co-opting a pre-existing character and overlaying a new identity on them while retaining their essential characterization. For example, by writing a story where Bilbo Baggins is non-binary, but still thinking that adventures are messy, dirty things. Or making Sherlock Holmes deaf, but still perfectly capable of solving all the crimes. Or making James Potter Indian, so that the Dursleys prejudiced against Harry not only for his magic, but also for his skin color. Or making Ariel the mermaid wrestle with severe body dysphoria, or Commander Sheppard suffer from severe PTSD.

I like to call this voice avatar Mary Sue a ‘Meta-Sue’, because when authors have evolved enough in their storytelling abilities to consciously deploy Mary Sues as a deliberate trope, they’re doing so on a self-aware, meta-textual level.

So that is where Mary Sues comes from.

But what is a Mary Sue? How can you point at a character and say, “Yes, that is – definitively – a Mary Sue”.

Mary Sues can generally be characterized as:

-Too perfect, or unrealistically skilled. They shouldn’t be able to do all the things they do, or know all the things they know, as easily as they do or know them. For reasons of the plot expedience, they learn too fast, and are able to perform feats that other characters in their world who have studied or trained longer and harder find difficult. For example, Neo in The Matrix.

-They are the black hole of every plot – every major quest or goal of the pre-existing characters warps to include or be about them; every character wants to befriend them, or romance them, or sleep with them, and every villain wants to possess them, or kill them, or sleep with them. This makes sense, as why write a character into the world if you’re not going to have something very important happen to them? So, for example, like Neo in The Matrix.

-A Mary Sue, because it’s usually written by a neophyte author who’s been taught that characters need flaws, has some sort of melodramatic, angsty tragic back-story that, while on the surface seems to motivate them into action, because of lack of experience in creating a follow-through of emotional motivation, doesn’t actually affect their mental health or ability to trust or be happy or in love. For example, like the emotional arc of Neo in The Matrix.

– A Mary Sue saves the day. This goes back to that impulse to be the center of the story. Like Neo in The Matrix.

-And lastly, Mary Sues come from outside the group. They’re from the ‘real world’, like you and I, or have somehow discovered the hero’s secret identity and must be folded into the team, or are a new recruit, or are a sort of previously undiscovered stand-alone Chosen One. Like, for example, Neo in The Matrix.

Now, as I’ve said, there’s actually nothing inherently wrong with writing a Mary Sue. Neo is a Mary Sue, but The Matrix is still a really engaging and well written film. And simply by virtue of the fact that an individual with ingrained cultural foundations is writing a story, that story is inherently rooted in that writer’s lived life and experiences. As much as a writer may try to either highlight or downplay it, each character and story they create has some of themselves in it. The first impulse of storytelling is to talk about oneself. We write about ourselves, only the more we write, the more skilled we become at disguising the sliver of us-ness in a character, folding it into something different and unique. We, as storytellers, as humans, empathize with protagonists and fictional characters constantly – we love putting our feet into other people’s shoes. It’s how we understand and engage with the world.

And we as writers tap into our own emotions in order to describe them on the page. We take slices of our lives – our experiences, our memories, our friend’s verbal tics or hand gestures, aunt Brenda’s way of making tea, Uncle Rudy’s way having a pipe after dinner, that time Grannie got lost at the zoo – and we weave them together into a golem that we call a character, which comes to life with a bit of literary magic. I mean, allow me to be sparklingly reductionist for a second, but in the most basic sense, every character is a Mary Sue.

It’s just a matter of whether the writer has evolved to the point  in their craft that they’ve learned to animate that golem with the sliver of self-ness hidden deep enough that it is unrecognizable as self-ness, but still recognizable as human-ness.

For years, mainstream western media has featured characters that were primarily heterosexual, able bodied, neurotypical, white cismales. And, regrettably, because of that, this flavor of human is now assumed to be the default for a character. When people from other communities speak up requesting other flavours, for characters for whom the imbedded sliver of humanity remains just as poignant and relatable, but the outer shell is of a different variety, this is when that certain segment of the fan population looses their cool.

That certain segment of the fan population has been telling us for years that if we don’t like what we see on TV or in video games, or in books, or comics, or on the stage, that we should just go make our own stuff. And now we are.

“Make your own stuff,” they say, and then follow it up with: “What’s with all this political correctness gone wild? Uhg. This stuff is all just Mary Sue garbage.”

Well, yes. Of course it is. That’s the point.

But why are they saying it like that?

Because they mean it in a derogatory sense.

They don’t mean it in the way that Paula Smith meant it – a little bit belittling but mostly fun; a bemused celebration of why we love putting ourselves into the stories and worlds we enjoy. They don’t mean it the way that Willis means it – a deliberate and knowing way to shove the previously marginalized into the center. They don’t even mean it the way that I mean it in my own work - as a tool for carefully deconstructing and discussing character and narrative with a character and from within a narrative.

When a certain segment of the fan population talks about ‘Mary Sue’, they mean to weaponize it. To make it a stand-in for the worse thing that a character can be: bland, predictable, and too-perfect. Which, granted, many Mary Sues are. But not all of them. And a character doesn’t have to be a Mary Sue to be done badly, either.

When this certain segment of the fan population says ‘Mary Sue’, they’re trying to shame the creators for deviating from the norm - the white, the heterosexual, the able bodied, the neurotypical, the straight cismale.

When this certain segment of the population says ‘Mary Sue,’ what they’re really saying is: “I don’t believe people like this are interesting enough to be the lead character in a story.”

When this certain segment of the population says ‘Mary Sue,’ what they’re really saying is: “I don’t think there’s any need to listen to that voice. They’re not interesting enough.”

When this certain segment of the population says ‘Mary Sue,’ what they’re really saying is: “This character is not what I am used to a.k.a. not like me, and I’m gonna whine about it.”

When this certain segment of the population says ‘Mary Sue,’ what they’re really saying is: “Even though kids from all over the world, from many different cultural, religious and ethnic backgrounds have had to grow up learning to identify with characters who don’t look or think like them, identifying with characters who don’t look or think like me is hard and I don’t wanna.”

When this certain segment of the population says ‘Mary Sue,’ what they’re really saying is: ”Even though I’ve grown up in a position of privilege and power, and even though publishing and producing diverse stories with diverse casts doesn’t actually cut into the proportionate representation that I receive, and never will, I am nonetheless scared that I’ll never see people like me in media texts ever again.”

When this certain segment of the population says ‘Mary Sue,’ what they’re really saying is: “Considering my fellow human beings as fellow human beings worthy of having stories about them and their own experiences, in their own voices, is hard and I don’t wanna do it.”

When this certain segment of the population says ‘Mary Sue,’ what they’re really saying is: “I only want stories about me.”

They call leads ‘Mary Sues’ so people will stop writing them and instead write… well, their version of a ‘Mary Sue.’ The character that is representative of their lived experiences, their power and masturbatory fantasies, their physical appearance, their sexual awakenings, their cultural identity, their voice, their kind of narratives.

Missing, of course, that the point of revisionist and inclusive narratives aren’t to shove out previous incarnations, but to coexist alongside them. It’s not taking away one entrée and offering only another – it’s building a buffet.

Okay, so who actually cares if these trolls call these diverse characters Mary Sues?

Well, unfortunately, because this certain segment of the population have traditionally been the group most listened-to by the mainstream media creators and the big money, their opinions have power. (Never mind that they’re not actually the biggest group of consumers anymore, nor no longer the most vocal.)

So, this is where you come in.

You have the power to take the Mary Sue from the edge of the narrative and into the centre. And you do can do this by normalizing it. Think back to that author who didn’t think little black girls were allowed to be the heroes of fairy tales. Now imagine how much different her inner world, her imagination might have been at the stage when she was first learning to understand her own self-worth, if she had seen faces like hers on the television, in comics, in games, and on the written page every day of her life.

And not just one or two heroes, but a broad spectrum of characters that run the gamut from hero to villain, from fragile to powerful, from straight to gay, and every other kind of intersectional identity.

You have the power to give children the ability to see themselves.

Multi-faceted representation normalizes the marginalized.

And if you have the privilege to be part of the passing member of the mainstream, then weaponize your privilege. Refuse to work with publishers, or websites, or conventions that don’t also support diverse creators. Put diverse characters in your work, and do so thoughtfully and with the input of the people from the community you are portraying. And if you’re given the opportunity to submit or speak at an event, offer to share the microphone.

The first thing I did when actor Burn Gorman got a Twitter account was to Tweet him  my thanks for saving the world in Pacific Rim while on a cane. As someone who isn’t as mobile as the heroes I see in action films - who knows for a fact that when the zombie apocalypse comes I will not be a-able to outrun the monsters – it meant so much to me that his character was not only an integral and vital member of the team who cancelled the apocalypse, but also that not once in the film did someone call him a cripple, or tell him he couldn’t participate because of his disability, or leave him behind.

Diversity matters.

Not because it’s a trendy hashtag, or a way to sell media texts to a locked-down niche market, but because every single human being deserves to be told that they have a voice worth listening to; a life worth celebrating and showcasing in a narrative; a reality worth acknowledging and accepting and protecting; emotions that are worth exploring and validating; intelligence that is worth investing in and listening to; and a capacity to love that is worth adoring.

White, heterosexual, neurotypical, able-bodied cismales are not the only people on the planet who are human.

And you have a right to tell your story your way.

Calling something a ‘Mary Sue’ in order to dismiss it out of hand, as an excuse to hate something before even seeing it, is how the trolls bury your Narrative and your Identity.  We are storytellers, all of us. Every person in this room. Whether your wheel house is in fiction, or academia, or narrative non-fiction, we impart knowledge and offer experience through the written word, through the telling of tales, through leading a reader from one thought to another.

And we none of deserve to be shouted down, talked over, or dismissed. No one can tell you that your story isn’t worth telling. Of course it is. It’s yours.

And don’t let anyone call your characters, or your work, or you a ’Mary Sue’ in the derogatory sense ever again. Or I am going to scream.

[zayadriancas]

This is random and I don’t know if it will make sense but if you had to rank the next class plots in order from favorite to least favorite per episode (like each next class episode and then say for each episode out of the 3 plots like which plot you like the most then the one you like the second most then the one you like the least) Just curious how you would rank each plot per episode sorry if this doesn’t make sense

Don’t worry it makes sense! :)

BootyCall: (I didn’t really care for any of the plots in this episode tbh but)

1: Shay’s plot (it set up Shiny and no characters in this plot were either acting out of character or straight up petty/mean, plus it was Shays first actual plot and it could have been better but it wasn’t terrible)

2: Maya’s plot (I love Maya finally focusing on her dream of music again, but I hated the way they wrote Zig in this plot to suddenly be this clingy, sex obsessed, & apparently not talented enough to play guitar instead of supportive & just made him look bad for the sake of trying to shoehorn Jonah into the plot and basically set up Zig to be the bad guy for the rest of the season & even worse never truly delve into why he’s being so clingy, insecure, etc)

3: Tristan’s plot (I hated Tristan’s biphobic comments but at the same time I hate how Miles was made to look completely innocent, it was made to seem like he hadn’t treated Tristan like shit in their first relationship and led him to believe he was using him, which is why Tristan was so upset in this episode when he saw Miles flirting with that girl a day after they made out/hooked up. That doesn’t excuse his terrible comments at the debate but still. Miles wasn’t a saint and Tristan had a right to be mad, he just didn’t handle it properly. Basically Tristan wasn’t the only wrong one in this plot but they tried to make it seem like he was)

NoFilter:

1: Grace/Zoe’s plot: (my only complaint is that it wasn’t from Grace’s POV since not only are we just finding out she has a serious illness but before this she still hadn’t had a plot yet, but other than that the majority of this plot was great)

2: Miles’s plot

3: Frankie’s plot (I did like it, but I hate how after this episode they made her depression about boy drama instead of actually delving deeper into her mental health like they did with both of her siblings)

YesMeansYes:

1: Zig’s plot

2: Miles’s plot

3: Hunter’s plot

NotOkay:

1: Maya’s plot

2: Tristan’s plot (I didn’t like him and Vijay together at all but it was nice to see him realize he couldn’t lead Vijay on when he still had feelings for someone else because he knew how that felt, and honestly the plot itself was just amusing tbh)

3: Shay’s plot (mainly because it’s obvious they only had Shay turn Tiny down because they wanted to do the Shay/Tiny/Lola triangle, even though they tried to make it seem like it was about her parents not allowing her to date. But they said they’d reconsider if they met Tiny, and obviously when Shiny does end up dating they love Tiny even though we don’t see their official meeting on screen so, it was obviously just an excuse to make Tola happen)

ButThatsNoneOfMyBusiness:

1: Lola’s plot

2: Maya’s plot

3: Miles’s plot (I did like it a lot though this episode had 3 great plots)

NotAllMen:

1: Zoe’s plot (I didn’t care that much for it because it was kind of random/felt unrealistic with the whole David thing and then there’s no follow up of trying to find her actual real dad but it was better than the other two plots)

2: I guess Frankie’s plot even though this was the start of making her depression becoming about boy drama and I hate the way Jonah treated her in this episode, it at least featured a likable character (Frankie I mean) who did nothing wrong and the whole boy drama was the writers fault and not hers and it’s not her fault Jonah decided to be an ass for no real reason when he barely knew her and made her feel guilty when she did want to be there helping, but couldn’t find a way to get a hold of him to tell him she’d be late/not coming whatever)

3: Hunter’s plot

ThisCouldBeUsButYouPlayin:

1: Miles’s plot

2: Maya’s plot

3: Zig/Zoe’s plot

TeamFollowBack:

1: Maya’s plot (it was heartbreaking but the most intense/captivating of the 3)

2: Frankie’s plot (even though yes it was about boy drama which I didn’t like, it was tolerable and the only thing that made no sense was the Fronah kiss at the end, and I just honestly am mostly putting it 2nd because I didn’t like Tristan’s plot)

3: Tristan’s plot (everything about it was written so poorly and Tristan suddenly hooking up with tons of guys came out of nowhere, not saying that’s a bad thing but this was just a poorly written way IMO for Tristan to blame Miles for giving him chlamydia when he didn’t even know for sure if he had it cuz he hadn’t been to a real doctor and to our knowledge they only kissed at the pool party (they may have done more but it really didn’t seem like it, I feel like Tristan just blamed Miles cuz he thought that Miles was promiscuous so it “had to have been him” even though Tristan himself had hooked up with like 5 guys in that semester and if Tristan did have chlamydia why didn’t he think it could have been one of the other guys? Anyway this whole plot was just a mess).

SinceWeBeinHonest:

1: Miles’s plot

2: Frankie’s plot

3: Zig’s plot

SorryNotSorry: (another episode I didn’t care for tbh)

1: I guess Frankie’s plot. I know I keep saying I hate her boy drama plots but really this is the only plot that didn’t piss me off in some way

2: Maya’s plot (I hated it because of how they had Zig lie to Maya and try to downplay what happened but at least Maya herself did nothing wrong)

3: Hunters plot (it was intense and Spencer’s acting was great, but Hunter is a piece of shit so I couldn’t feel sorry for him one bit and honestly it’s a bit scary to watch in a way that wasn’t something I could enjoy if that makes sense, like not scary in a captivating way but scary in a I honestly have a hard time watching this kind of way.)

SquadGoals:

1: Miles’s plot

2: Maya’s plot

3: Frankie’s plot

TurntUp:

1: Hunter’s plot (this is the one plot of his I actually liked and it had potential after this and they wasted it)

2: Shay’s plot

3: Zig’s plot (I love him but god he was embarrassingly awful throughout half this episode, I know he meant well but still. He fucked up).

CheckYourPrivilege:

1: Yael’s plot

2: Tristan’s plot

3: Frankie’s plot (again like Zig, meant well but embarrassingly fucked up)

BuyMePizza:

1: Zoe’s plot

2: Lola’s plot

3: Grace’s plot

ThrowbackThursday: (aside from seeing the alumni I really didn’t like this episode tbh)

1: I guess Lola’s plot but it really should have been from Tiny’s POV, or even Shay’s. Yes Lola was trying to stand up for Tiny which was great but like this should have been about Frankie getting in no trouble for the banner as opposed to maybe like Kara/Northern Tech getting in trouble for their prank or something to show how racism affects things. Or like, have Tiny have gotten in the fight with a white guy from their school and have the white guy get less punishment than Tiny) I appreciated their efforts to bring attention to the BLM movement but it was written poorly and not from the POV of an actual black person which made it worse.

2: Tristan’s plot (I guess. Like I said I really didn’t care for any of the plots in this episode).

3: Frankie’s plot

ToMyFutureSelf: (another episode I didn’t care much for)

1: Shay’s plot

2: Zoe’s plot

3: Maya’s plot (not cuz of her but Zig and Grace acting the way they did. The only highlight was Sav and Spinner).

ThatAwkwardMomentWhen:

1: Zoe’s plot

2: Frankie’s plot

3: Shay/Tiny’s plot (I loved the Shiny moments but like I feel like this plot existed just to break up Tola and create more drama in the Shiny/Tola triangle. Tiny literally having his appendix removed is never mentioned again and was only like half from his POV but barely. He literally never had a plot from his own POV and the one time he kind of does his literal health condition is treated as secondary compared to relationship drama.)

RiseAndGrind:

1: Zig’s plot

2: Miles’s plot

3: Maya’s plot

TheseAreMyConfessions:

1: Shay’s plot

2: Yael’s plot

3: Grace’s plot (what could have been a good plot about her CF was turned into her having a forced crush on Zig, yelling at Maya for no good reason, and yeah it was just awful)

OMFG:

1: Zoe’s plot

2: Hunter’s plot (I didn’t so much like it but I’ll explain my reasoning in a second)

3: Shay’s plot (I love her and I can understand why she felt like she had to give up everything and was upset and she did have a right to be, but I don’t like her passive aggressive behavior in this episode and low key guilting Lola into giving her her blessing to date Tiny after Lola said no. When Lola asked permission it was different because Shay and Tiny hadn’t even dated yet, but Lola and Tiny just broke up and Lola had to deal with finding out the guy she loved had stronger feelings for her best friend. And this is after she’d recently opened up to him about her abandoning issues. I know you can’t help who you fall for but let’s face it, Lola was Tiny’s second choice from the beginning, I do believe he genuinely liked and cared for her but not as much as Shay. So anyway Lola wasn’t even mean when she denied Shay from dating Tiny and she had every right to not be comfortable with them dating, at least not right away. But after Shay started acting out and admitted it was partially because having to give up Tiny, Lola felt bad enough to give Shay her blessing and I just feel like that was low key guilt trippy and just wrong).

BreakTheInternet:

1: Zoe’s plot

2: Lola’s plot (even though she was acting petty part of me didn’t blame her(read commentary on my thing for Shays plot in OMFG) like it wasn’t the right way to handle it and I love Shay and Shiny but still. Plus I really loved and related to her quote about not being able to talk about her pain because it makes people uncomfortable

3: Miles’s plot

IWokeUpLikeThis:

1: Maya’s plot

2: Yael’s plot

3: Zig’s plot (just because the Zig/Esme stuff aside from their scene at the end made me cringe)

WorstGiftEver:

1: Shay’s plot

2: Goldi’s plot

3: Miles’s plot

PicsOrItDidn’tHappen:

1: Maya’s plot

2: Frankie’s plot

3: Rasha’s plot (I liked it but Miles bugged me so much in this plot and it didn’t get as much screen time as the others)

HugeIfTrue:

1: Lola’s plot

2: Frankie’s plot

3: Hunter’s plot

ThatFeelingWhen:

1: Zoe’s plot

2: Frankie’s plot

3: Miles’s plot

Unsubscribe:

1: Grace’s plot

2: Zoe/Rasha’s plot

3: Hunter’s plot

IRegretNothing:

1: Maya’s plot

2: Lola’s plot (I loved it almost equally to Maya’s but I can relate to Maya’s more so)

3: Miles’s plot

Woke:

1: Maya’s plot

2: Zoe’s plot (again I love it pretty much equally to Maya’s but Maya’s was more relatable to me)

3: Frankie’s plot

ImSleep:

1: Maya’s plot

2: Zoe/Goldi/Rasha’s plot (I really couldn’t tell whose POV it was supposed to be from lol)

3: Miles’s plot

BackToReality:

1: Yael’s plot

2: Grace’s plot

3: Esme’s plot

GetMoney:

1: Saad’s plot

2: Frankie’s plot

3: Shay’s plot

ILookLikeA:

1: Goldi’s plot

2: Miles’s plot

3: Hunter’s plot

RollUpToTheClubLike:

1: Grace’s plot

2: Goldi’s plot

3: Maya’s plot (I liked it but the involvement of gamer club, who literally harassed and sent death threats to her, bugged me so much)

Preach:

1: Zoe’s plot

2: Saad’s plot

3: Frankie’s plot

FactsOnly:

1: Yael’s plot

2: Maya’s plot (I loved it equally to Yael’s tbh it was hard to choose)

3: Zig’s plot (it could have been great if not for making it about a threesome instead of him actually focusing on not only his insecurities about not being good enough to get into school but planning his future or at least getting a general sense of what he wanted to do)

Fire:

1: Maya’s plot

2: Shay’s plot

3: Esmes plot (I could relate to it and I didn’t hate the plot itself but I just did not like her actions)

GetYouAManWhoCanDoBoth:

1: Lola’s plot

2: Shay’s plot

3: Tristan’s plot (the fact that it was mainly made about his relationship with Miles bothered me so much)

Obsessed:

1: Zig’s plot

2: Miles’s plot

3: Hunter’s plot

KThxBye:

1: Zoe’s plot

2: Maya’s plot

3: Esmes plot (I liked all 3 plots equally in this episode tbh but again with Esme, I could relate to her and my heart broke for her but still her actions weren’t okay)

[wallas-dinston]

Hello! So this is another excerpt from the fanfic I wrote a while ago. For context, the POV is from Sunshine Curtis, middle child of the Curtis siblings, who had a relationship with Johnny Cade. This is the end of the story as she is working through her emotions. Please let me know if you like it!

I passed Darry as he walked through the door, stepping outside for fresh air. The sun was setting. The intricate swirls of orange and pink seemed to set a golden blanket across the town. It was beautiful. I wished I could stay that way forever. I cried silently, until Pony saw me and stopped me. He sat down next to me silently, but had an expectant look on his face. I didn't know how to put how I was feeling into words. It was almost too much for me alone.

“It's over. They're gone. But I can't stop fighting it! I'm tired. I'm tired of letting all the emotions overtake me. But I don't know how to stop. I can never just stop. I always have to push everything.” I wailed. I was frustrated and desperate and dejected. Pony grabbed me by the shoulders and looked me straight in the eyes, calming me.

“Sunshine Curtis, It is not over. Things will get better in the end. If they aren't better, it isn't the end. Don't beat yourself up. They wouldn't want to see you like that. Now smile. You look better that way.” I grinned at him and wiped my eyes. He was right. Things would change, and things will crush me and burn me and bring me down, but I had to fight through it. There was a light at the end of the tunnel. And I might not be able to see it right now, there might be fog hindering the glow, but the storm will calm and I would make it there. I hugged him strongly, smiling.

“Thank you.” I whispered, walking away. I stepped back inside of the house, reaching my bedroom. I put on the jacket, Johnny’s jacket, and began to exit the house. I knew where I was headed. I walked down the sidewalk, remembering Johnny, his smile, the auburn strands that mixed in with his hair, the way he smelled like earth after rain. His face glinting in the moonlight, the way his eyes sparked when he looked at me. I remembered the feeling I got every time I talked to him, the way his arms felt along my shoulders, the feeling of the grass tickling our feet as we danced under the stars. I remembered the faint golden freckles that dotted his face. I passed the house he cursed and cared for, the house that trapped him, and formed him into who he was. I passed Bucks house, the temporary home of Dallas Winston, a role model, a hoodlum, a friend. A breeze blew past me, circling me. The wind whispered in my ear, filling my head with the sound of Johnny’s laugh, Dally’s quick remarks. Even the officers would miss seeing Dallas. He weaved his way into your life, making it interesting. I walked by the Nightly-Double, feeling the soft denim of Johnny’s jean jacket lying upon my shoulders, the warmth of Johnny’s loving and cute remarks. The gum wrapper notes I stuck in his pocket. I recalled the sound our shoes made as we raced down the pavement, and the way you could hear the smile in his voice when he was happy. That was the way I would remember Johnny, because I was the only one that could get him to open up and talk. Other people would remember him as I saw him in the hospital, as timid, skittish and weak. They would see a puppy that had been kicked too many times. But he was so much more than that. I wanted to remember the side of him that was almost exclusively saved for me. The one that laughed wildly, and was sweet and kind. I passed the empty lot, where our friendship had begun so many years ago.

Me and Darry walked onto the gravel strewn grass of the empty lot. We used it as a shortcut to get home from school sometimes. I passed through the area, noticing a kid, he looked around my age, five, and he was badly injured. I took Darry’s hand, who was responsible for walking me home, and lead him over to the boy. He was slumped up against a tree, with a black eye and multiple other bruises on his body.

“Are you okay?” I asked sympathetically. He looked up at me with large puppy dog eyes, tears lining them. He shook his head no, and I rushed over to him. I looked up at Darry expectantly.

“Im Sunshine. What's your name?” I asked lightheartedly.

“Johnny Cade.” He mumbled.

“Johnnycakes? That's a funny name. I have brothers with funny names too. Sodapop and Ponyboy.” I laughed. He laughed too.

“No. Johnny CADE.” He pronounced. I flushed red from my error. Darry looked concerned, and he was pondering something.

“Maybe you should come home with us. My parents can fix you up.” Darry offered. Johnny looked hesitant, but accepted the offer. He smiled at me and I smiled back as we started down the road towards my house, also known as the Curtis’s.

I smiled from the memory. I looked up from the ground and realized I had reached my final destination. I sat down on the swings we had shared so many talks on. We stated our worries to each other, and always left laughing. The sunset was the richest I had ever seen it, the colors popping from the sky. It felt like Johnny was sending a message, saying hello. A single tear rolled down my cheek, as I held myself. I looked up at the sky, watching the clouds swirl and mix. My heart flooded, and I saw him and all he was in that sunset.

“I love you too, Johnny Cade.” I whispered to the sky, the breeze carrying my words away and through the town, down the roads I knew so well. And as soon as they were spoken they had disappeared, taken away and gone with the wind.

When I was younger I would always try to escape the world; close my eyes and create a dream world, a fantasy. I was caught up in my bedtime stories. Nobody was ever hurt. Nobody left you. It was unrealistic, but I didn't mind. Life was simpler. The whole world seemed to be one block wide and our problems were so small. Goodbye only meant, ‘See you tomorrow!’ And we lived our lives without a worry in the world. I grew up with dirt on my knees and cuts on my elbows. We thought we were cool, smoking and sitting on the curb, trying our best to act tuff. We were full of youthful vigor. We felt invincible. And I liked it that way. It was blissful inside my ignorant mind. I felt so sure of myself. And I never wanted to grow up anyhow. I was sacred to.

Well, I’ve made it to ‘older’ and I understand. Life is unfair, and it hurts you, but you have to take the good with the bad. I have lost people, but gained so many things. Friends, knowledge, a better understanding of who I am. Life is one big lesson, one big chance to learn and grow. But sometimes it catches up to you. Time is less expendable than it is thought to be. I know the real meaning of tough now, too. Dallas strived to reach it his whole life, but he was far off. He was looking in all the wrong places. Being tough was living through hard things and not letting it break you, but letting it make you stronger. Dally broke. He had lost. But I hadnt, and I never would. I used to be scared of the dark and the things that lurked in it, but now I find comfort in the night. It reminds me of the people I lost along the way, and the stars of how they lit up my life. Johnny still lives in the quiet black, and the wild and free things of the night bring Dally along with them. My parents live within the love and wonder of the cool air. And they aren't really gone, they never will be. Their words formed me into the person I am today, and continue to shape me and affect me. I don't force things anymore. Whatever happens happens. Deep down I am still a child, but I know more now.

A sudden feeling of closure overtook me, and I knew it would all be okay. My whole being felt lighter as I stood up from the swingset, taking one last look at the sky before heading on my way. I was ready. Not to move on, but to move forward. I knew I would never move on. Nobody would. But that was alright. I walked back through the town, retracing my steps. I kicked stones on the sidewalk, smiling to myself when I spotted the dandelion growing from a small crack in the pavement. I bent down and snapped the stem, picking up the flower gently. The oncoming fall had turned the once yellow petals to small puffy skeletons of their former beauty. My mom used to laugh when I picked them. “They are weeds, Sunshine.” She would say. And I would always reply, “Beautiful weeds.” I suppose that some saw a weed while others saw a wish. I took a moment to blow on the fragile flower, my conscience speaking a small wish as I did. I disregarded the green twig from my now sticky fingers and continued walking again. The emotion I was feeling was so oddly unexplainable. It was almost . . . light orange. I passed my house as well as the Shepard household, where the grass doesn't seem to grow. I passed the small drugstore in the center, and the DX gas station. I walked and walked, dreaming the whole way, until the road seemed to slowly get smoother and the houses larger. Reading the street signs carefully, I realized how even they sounded more extravagant. Seminole Street, Birmingham Ave, Grand View, Fostoria Street. I had to catch my mind from drifting off again, making sure I didn't miss the one I was looking out for. I turned onto the street once I found it and read all the house numbers. 367, 398, 405, 426. And then I was there. 431 Cedar Street. I knocked on the door, which after a moment slowly opened to reveal a familiar face. A pair of green eyes greeted me.

“Hey.” I smiled. “Are you still up for that movie?”

[aesarctic]

Lord of Shadows, by Cassandra Clare

I finished this book a month ago, but I finally finished the review

Lord of Shadows is the second book of The Dark Artifices series, by Cassandra Clare. However, there are a ton of books that should be read before hand. If you’d like a guide, I have one.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Read on Goodreads

FOR THE SUPER NON-SPOILERY PEOPLE (Like me): I enjoyed this book more than the first one; it didn't take long for me to get hooked. Definitely a 95% rating. I can't say anything more, since it's the second book in the series, and to get to this point, you have to read many other books. FOR THE NON-SPOILERY PEOPLE (Hidden for the super non-spoilery people): Lady Midnight took me around half the book to get into. This one took a few pages--my first tab is on page eleven. I love how the characters are portrayed, as well. Though, I'm not a romance person, so every time something came up along that sort, it did take a bit longer for me to get through. I'm glad to say that this book did not have second-book-slump, and, in my opinion, was better than the first. EDIT: Cassie's writing has improved tremendously, in my opinion. I do think there could be more of a variation depending on the point of view, but over all, it's fun to read style-wise. And everything else-wise, really. 

FOR THE SPOILERY PEOPLE: I'm going to break this down into three sections: Characters, Relationships, Storyline, and Shout-outs.

CHARACTERS: Mark Blackthorn: All I can say is that he's not my favourite character. He didn't annoy me, but when a scene featured him, I found myself not liking it as much as any other character. I do have to say, it does seem like he lost almost all human-world common sense after joining the hunt. He had years in the human realm. That couldn't have all been lost. I think he's being written dumber than he is. Julian Blackthorn: I love Julian from other characters' POV's. I love how everyone notes him as a selfless, caring person. I even like how they make notes on how ruthless and "razor blade"-like he is. But when reading from his point of view, I almost can't stand it. All he does is think about Emma. When he thinks about his other siblings, I think that's great, but the majority of it is all Emma, and it bothers me to no end. One of my favourite Julian scenes is from when Livvy died, and that wasn't even in his point of view. It was through Emma's. I do think it's interesting how Julian is supposed to be bad, in a way. How he killed his "father" and lied to peoples' faces. Livvy Blackthorn: One of my favourite characters. Her personality, how she wanted to be like Julian (personally one of my favourite parts), everything. I practically died when she did. I was surprised that I hadn't seen it coming sooner, since looking back, it was terribly predictable. Ty Blackthorn: Another favourite character, but more so than Livvy. I absolutely loved every scene he was in. I thought the fact that he wants to be a detective was great. I don't think I appreciated him enough in Lady Midnight. I'm not autistic myself, but I hope that he is good and accurate representation to the autistic community. Dru Blackthorn: I don't have much to say about her, but I wanted to include her. She was interesting, and I'm glad she had more of a part in this story. I don't know if I love or hate her yet. I'll mention here, though, that I don't like whatever thing is budding between her and Jaime. That had better stay a friendship. Emma Carstairs: She's a main character, but I have nothing to say about her that doesn't involve someone else. When she's with Julian, I almost can't stand her. All she does is think about him. When she's with others, she's quirky and makes bad jokes, and I find that fun. I like how she acts differently with each person: it's realistic, and I love that. My feelings about her are conflicted. Zara Dearborn: I don't know what to say. We're supposed to hate her. I hate her. Mission accomplished. It's one of those things where I appreciate her character and completely despise her existence as a person? She's written incredibly well for someone who is the equivalent of sewer water. That's good, but it also makes me hate her more. It's complicated. Diana Wrayburn: In the first book, she meant little to me. In the second book, that changed. When she came out as trans, I practically threw my book. I didn't--I was at a restaurant--but I would have. That's important representation. That's representation. I'm so happy. Is Diana my favourite character? No. Do I like reading about her relationships? Absolutely not. Am I thankful for her existence? Completely. RELATIONSHIPS: Julian and Emma: I am close to despising this. I hate how every time we get a Julian chapter, it's all Emma. Everything. Emma. I hate Emma's complaining about her feelings. In my mind, the parabatai bond was this special concept to honour people with close relationships to their friends. Their relationship feels like a disgrace to the bond. Either cut off your runes or emotions. Julian and his siblings: Starting with Mark, I like how Julian continues to trust him. Next, Livvy. There was a moment when Livvy enters Julian's room, and they have this moment that almost made me internally combust. Livvy tells Julian how she wants to be like him, and I think it's a powerful moment. Thought, I'm sure it was there to make her death more painful, and it definitely worked. Speaking of her death, I wish we read it from Julian's point of view. That could have been such a powerful moment. I was already dying inside. If we're going to go the mess-everyone's-life-out route, may as well rip our hearts out. Go all-out. That death scene was powerful, and I was shredded to pieces, but it could have been even harder on my emotions With Ty, I love how Julian takes care to make sure Ty is in the moment. Drawing out what expressions mean, or giving him a fist bump instead of a hug. Dru and Julian had that moment where he told her she was the heart, and sure that was a touching moment, but I felt as if it wasn't enough. One moment for 700 pages? She's the second youngest. Give her more love. Tavvy and Julian had one cute moment, where Tavvy began to meltdown because Julian was leaving. I loved that moment. I loved how there was a small glimpse at how Tavvy loves his brother. I wish there was more of that, too, like Dru. I'm going to also mention here that I wasn't satisfied with the reaction to Arthur's death. It didn't feel like enough. It felt like they blew it off. I know most of them didn't even know him, but that doesn't fully excuse it in my mind. EDIT: I was reminded by my friend that Tavvy also tried to escape with Julian, and now the Cute Moment Count has gone up to two. EDIT 2: There's a paragraph where Julian yanks Ty close and hugs him like his life depends on it, and that gives me life.And the moment where Ty gave Julian the coloured pencils? I'm dead. Livvy, Ty, and Kit: I love them. These are my favourite characters. Perfect. I love their dynamic. I love how Ty was only one allowed to put a rune on Kit. How Ty and Livvy invited Kit to do things with him, and trusted his ideas. How Livvy and Ty were so close-knit, but they were still willing to let Kit in. I love the platonic kiss between Kit and Livvy. I know a lot of people didn't see it as platonic, but I did, and that was a defining moment for me. It wasn't a kiss for a relationship. It was curiosity and trust. Livvy wanted to know, and she trusted Kit so that she could find out. I love it. Looking back, if I was paying attention, it was painfully obvious Livvy was going to die and Kit was replacing her, but I didn't look into it. I was too into the book. Livvy's death was huge and unexpected. Ty and Kit are going to further their relationship, and I hope it stays platonic. I really do. I can't wait. Jace and Kit: I love their interactions. Where Jace will say something about Kit being a Herondale, and Kit's like, "Uh huh, sure, yeah, okay, bye." Love it. Diego, Zara, Christina, Mark, Kieran, Emma, and Julian:Diego is engaged to Zara, but likes Christina, who also has a thing with Mark, who previously had a thing with Kieran and technically Emma, who has a thing for Julian. Shout-out to Christina maybe becoming Jaime's parabatai, who may or may not be into Dru? This entire thing is crazy, a little annoying, but I kind of find it hilarious. STORYLINE: In the beginning, Mark kills Magnus. Talk about foreshadowing. Ty has common sense. I wish he'd share it with other people. "Yeah, Ty's autistic." Maybe you should explain that a little more, buddy. "Yeah, they need to read a history book." Maybe you should bring that up, buddy. "Yeah, this is the Holocaust." Maybe you should mention that, buddy. "Yeah, I love cookies." Of course, buddy. Everyone loves cookies. Is the green flash a real thing? Everyone who talks about the rumour of Magnus magicking Alec into liking him is going to get a personal punch to the everything courtesy of me. I appreciate the existence of Malec, even if I don't ship it. Emma and Julian look at each other. One second later, they're making out. Gross. Unrealistic. Not what I want to read. Not what I'm here to read. "'If you don't fear death,' said Julian, 'then let Kieran meet it.'" Dang, Julian. The idea of Livvy just texting Simon for answers is kind of funny. Christina just happens to have this very convenient necklace due to her family's convenient bond with the faeries from generations ago. I have the hardest time believing Emma would just give upher stele. She didn't get it back, right? I don't remember her getting back. That meant something to her. It was too easy for her to give it up to enter the faerie realm. "'And if we don't have Energy runes, we'll have to get our energy the old-fashioned way.' "Mark looked puzzled. 'Drugs?' "'Chocolate,' Emma said. 'I brought chocolate. Mark, where do you even come up with these things?'" Cue me screaming. There's this paragraph from Kit's POV, and he was thinking about Emma and Christina and Julian, and he decides that he's going to stomp on Zara's foot for them, and one, I love that. Two, defining paragraph that shows that Kit does have a heart towards the Blackthorns and Co. Julian and Emma Look at Each Other and Their Hearts Explode: Part 2. I want more of all of the bilingual characters speaking their respective languages. "'I want to be parabatai again,' [Emma] said. 'The way we were before.'" YES. Yes. Please. Make my life simple. Become great parabatai. No more of this disgusting romance-y thing. I really don't like the idea of parabatai being a curse. When I first was introduced to the idea, I was thrilled. This was a special bond! For really close best friends who were always there for each other! "Best friends but more than that," as the book put it. I loved that. That's all I have, and that's all I'm going to have. I liked the idea of that being sort of shown in a book. Kit's ability to see ghosts and how that's a Herondale thing isn't something I'm fond of. There's this unnecessary paragraph that explains what the word "bust" means to Kit and I don't know how to feel. "'Tell me,' Kit said. Tell me what you need. "'Put your arms around me,' said Ty." I love them. I really hope they stay platonic, but the fact that both of them are opening up is lovely. There are moments where Kit even thinks about wanting to hug Ty, and I love it. Kit is opening up to the idea of Ty loving "Evelyn left." "She's dead?" "No, you idiot." "There was no reason to sail down Sexy Thoughts River to the Sea of Perversion when it wasn't going to go anywhere." The WHAT. "I'm READY." "Emma..." "I'm going to put bows on their heads." "That's not--" "CAN I GET A SELFIE?" "Eat your toast, Emma." I love the part where they discuss family mottos. Hilarious. Helen and Aline come in, and I appreciate their existence. I hope we get more of them in the next book because this wasn't enough. Also, I've got to love Emma's sass to Zara. Okay, and Robert's death? Unpredictable. Completely nuts. What the actual heck. Whoa. Livvy's death scene. I've already talked about it a bit, but gods. That messed me up. It was so predictable, but I was so engrossed with the book, I didn't see it when I should have. It was obvious Kit was coming into Ty's life to replace Livvy. And are there three-way parabatai bonds? Probably not, but that's what I really was hoping for. She was my third favourite character. I loved her in Lady Midnight but this book spent so much time building her up, I just--I fell for it. She had that scene with Julian about wanting to be like him--she won't ever get that. She won't ever get to be parabataiwith Ty. She's gone. And I'm sad. I can't believe Annabel was the one who killed her. When she got resurrected, I thought she was upset that Blackthorn blood was shed. Now she's not? I mean, I guess we don't know for sure, since she disappeared, but I'd think she would never have done it if she truly cared. And Livvy's last words tore me apart. Ty turning the colour of ashes and crumpling to the ground? I'm falling to pieces. Everything Julian? I've been murdered and I'm never coming back. I can't believe--Livvy--she-- I can't believe Cassie killed off a twin. Talk about cruel. One of my best friends is a twin and he rants about that all the time--people killing of twins. SHOUT-OUTS: -London -Will writing in the books (Did Ty take a Sherlock book that had Will's writing in it?) -"Oh we're Shadowhunters and even though our hidden country is in Europe we have no idea of mundane history or medicines for that matter" (Did they go through the bubonic plague? I'm curious.) -Clary just think she's going to die? And that's why she's not marrying Jace? What the heck is up with that? (Though, the romance-hating part of me is fine with that, honestly.) -Dru befriending Jaime, defying space and time (going into Faerie), possibly seeing Sebastian-baby (as BookTube calls him) -Christina: "I have this magical necklace to make sure we age normally." Everyone: *gets up and is everywhere in faerie* What is the radius of this necklace? -The Centurians were funny-annoying in the beginning and now I want to blow them up. -Emma: "Julian doesn't lie." Julian: *lies* -Julian literally gave the idea that there are other ways to hurt Diego other than touching him. -Kit, Ty, and Livvy in general -"I'm Christopher Herondale" -Kit's list of Shadowhunter grievances -What the heck is Gwyn doing, hooking up with Diana? -The entire binding between Mark and Christina was a giant rollar coaster I didn't want to get on and found entertaining anyway. -We saw Helen! And Aline! -The fact that Annabel was conscious for five years -If Julian's thoughts could chill, maybe -I really cannot see Emma and Julian together as a couple -The difference between Julian & family and Julian & Emma -Julian is willing to use whatever he wants to use as leverage as leverage -Emma shattered the mortal sword. What. -Who wrote the Blackbook? Why is it called that? "Oh, black leather is the only cover material we have. Let's just call it 'The Black Book.'" -Julian is willing to trust the Seelie queen for Emma; I'm ready to stab something -Robert's death is very convenient towards the exile plotline. Almost as if Cassie needed a way to disrupt it. More drama that way. -Kit doesn't know Livvy's dead: I want to cry. -Jessamine is a ghost? No, thanks -You know this is a Cassie Clare book when Magnus walks in on a main character sex scene -Malcolm? Alice? I refuse -Stupid love triangle--love square--pentagon--hexagon--heptagon? Can we go as far as octagon I'm not keeping track. -We saw Magnus and Alec's kids! -Emma just happens to be able to kill one of the Super Serious Non-Killable Faerie dudes. -Ty is the glue -Zara totally rigged Annabel's trial -Is this whole warlocks-are-weaker thing because of Malcolm's death? Because if not, Malcolm should have been effected too, right? -"Sexy weirdness" and "hot faerie threesome" are now Things thanks to Emma Carstairs -Robert was being nice -They have way too much hope sometimes -All of the Shadowhunters in the audience during the trial just happen to have bottles and bags and things on them. I don't have that stuff on me. -They threw bags? -Kit calling Shadowhunters hot -I don't want this, but what if Livvy is a ghost -Kitty is a ship name -Ty gave Kit his first rune -Emma must be feeling so much guilt for saying "Don't make a promise you can't keep." -Clary said "when" she dies (honestly, thank the gods.) -Sebastian left a weapon in the Seelie court. Spoiler alert: This weapon is a person. -Diego just happened to be engaged to Zara for marriage benefits on Zara's part -Christina let it slip that Julian and Emma like each other. Out of everyone, I feel like she would be the best at keeping that secret. -"You're not okay--I know how you feel towards water." -Kit actually cares for Christina on some level -Annabel just sort of killed those two guards. This book was an adventure, left me with a massive book hangover, and oh, man, was it good.

[zealousanchorreview-blog]

Katinka Hosszu As well as Her Husband Raising Eyebrows At The Pool.

To check out David Ferry's Bewilderment is to be advised that verse of the highest possible order could be made by the subtlest of methods. Theme of unusual fizzling subplots emerges and it becomes apparent that there is no story to this book, just a violent and also codependent partnership and its difficulties. This readiness binds you in a common love that turns into a passionate sexual relationship. Emily and Jacob's partnership is getting a lot more significant along with the danger of Emily being seriously hurt. Simply to earn matters harder, it is unclear exactly how usually - if at all - sludge alone creates issues. Stunning Manager was just one of my many expected launches of the year, due to the fact that I enjoy anything as well as everything that has to do with Will Sumner, as well as CLo did NOT let down. After school he remained in a band (called Marrakech - you could presume just what we were smoking at the time") as well as following a gap year in the Cook Islands, Friend enlisted at Webber Douglas Academy, a drama institution in London. Crow doesn't quit he continues to make good friends but something constantly makes them disappear. Outcomes partially support http://fitnesswelt-de.com/erogan-bewertungen-effekte-erfahrungen-preis-kaufen-sie-in-der-apotheke-oder-auf-der-website-des-herstellers/ (see base of Number 2 ). Chronic thoughtful goals anticipated enhanced as well as chronic self-image objectives predicted lowered responsiveness to roomies from pretest to posttest, which anticipated modification in assumptions of flatmates' responsiveness from pretest to posttest, yet perceptions of roommates' responsiveness did not forecast adjustments in pupils' very own compassionate as well as self-image goals from pretest to posttest. We finally admitted to our partnership one morning when a coworker was behind us in the website traffic en path to I 'd formerly workinged from the law firm for three years as a paralegal, aiding legal representatives with their legal job, but left briefly in April 2010 to work as cabin team for an airline. Speaking to other pals, relatives or your spouse about exactly what has actually taken place could help you come to terms with it. Attempt to get things off your upper body without complaining or representing your friend in a bad way. The Polish-Ukranian kid of a cab driver, Royko matured on Chicago's southside as well as never ever left the city. I recognize that to you those 12 months seem like a long time and also you can really feel the distance sneaking in between you and this kid that is still at institution, but he still holds the power to transform his life around - it's simply that the longer he waits to do it, the less most likely that you as well as your various other buddies will figure in in that life. You have an opportunity to miss each various other, and also it helps you really understand the value of your partnership. If you determine you must leave, after that do the research when thinking about a brand-new work: Seek indications of a possibly negative scenario by, as an example, paying attention to what you hear throughout interviews; asking people within the company what it's like to help that firm or that manager; hearken any kind of red flags elevated by just what you listen to ... as well as do not contribute to background duplicating itself. Unfortunately it appears that the men in his publications are very similar (makings me wonder ... is that so unrealistic?) they like a great beer, hanging out with their buddies in lousy bars, songs, and discussing nothing (okay so it is quite practical!). Your boss may not also realize that he or she isn't providing you any type of input, as well as the only way to obtain any is to ask for it! Distinguished Tina's POV, the writer took the time to offer to us the background to Tina's relationship with Kiegan and after that their meeting a couple of years after Tina flees. Remember that your brand-new good friend has the free choice to include, deduct, or realign her relationships. A schlocky as well as charmless horror movie with demonic overtones, Close friend Request doesn't have the wit to establish exactly what might have been an interesting concept. European Council president Donald Tusk made the astonishing insurance claim while additionally telling Britons he could not guarantee a positive relationship between Brussels as well as the UK following a. Leave outcome on June 23. One of the richest young men in Britain, Mr Landon is also a good friend to both Princes Harry as well as William, as well as was a guest at the Royal Wedding. Cannot communicate will leave a big space in your partnership and create minor issues to spiral right into unneeded problems. Now, Annabele has no friends, a bad relationship with her sibling Whitney, and also her mom just doesn't appear to comprehend her. Ask them, 'Can we discover a various way of working together?' or 'Exactly what do I need to alter?' or claim 'When you do this, it makes me really feel extremely undervalued.'" The point below is, that you make it about how you really feel and also just what you do. You do not call your employer out and also say, Why are you such a w-er?" as this will cause fight. The partnership in between the protagonists never ever appeared to create from its superficial, sexual starts.

[bryrosea]

Dear Yuletide Author - 2017

Hello dear Yuletide Author! 

I'll start as I always do, by saying that I am genuinely and truly going to be happy with anything you produce: shippy or gen, smut or no smut, canon or AU. If you’ve already got a story idea that you signed up for this fandom hoping to write, please stop reading this letter now and go write it! If you’re interested, though, I’ve listed a few things below about my general likes/dislikes and about each of the fandoms I’ve requested.

My general likes: in-world fics, missing scenes, AUs where all of the changes result from one canon alteration, hurt/comfort (all the hurt/comfort, seriously, whether of the emotional, physical, or sickness type), soulmarks, accurate history, romance, realistically rendered domesticity, unrequited-but-really-requited longing, alternate POVs of canon scenes. 

Usually I just say “smut” as a like (minus the few exceptions below) but this year my fandoms lend themselves to smut more than usual, so I'll expand out to say my smut likes particularly include: any kind of consensual full intercourse two adult people can have, toys, first times with new sexual scenarios, risky locales, PWP (as long as the characters shine through, I don't mind no plot), or a plot-filled romp with one sexy scene, sexual inhibitions lost via “sex pollen” or similar magic-y plot contrivances. I actually had a bit of a hard time filling out this list because, uh, I pretty much like most of it smut-wise, so don't consider this exclusionary at all. 

My general dislikes: The only things I’d specifically request that you stay away from are non-canon major character death, unrealistically happy!teen pregnancy, OC kid characters, and plots that are relentlessly sad with no redeeming ray of hope or potential to lighten them.

Smut dislikes: Please no non con, underage anything past a G rating, animal sexual kinks (A/B/O, knotting, etc.), ‘daddy’ scenarios, adultery or cheating in a committed relationship, or degrading talk during sex (”slut, whore” etc.)

I've been on a major M/M Reading kick this year, for whatever reason, so there's a definite theme to my requests. Feel free to mix and match--I'm a glommer, so I've read everything by all of these authors--or even reach back into past years' letters in this tag if you want! There are no characters in any of these canons I'd be unhappy to see in a fic, so feel free to have walk ons!

Think of England - K.J. Charles 

Characters: Any

Like I mentioned in my sign up, this book is BEGGING for a sequel. Begging. Our classic odd couple have just gotten together at the end of the story - with many delicious problems still-to-be-worked-out - and are embarking on a shared career of espionage. I mean, come on, there are so many plot possibilities. If you'd like to take time forward and check in on our characters' next adventure, that would be wonderful. 

One of the reasons this book is a favorite of mine is Archie as the narrator - he's such a good, solid presence, so confused and yet so stalwart. More of his observations on the unfolding relationship with Daniel and its importance to him would be beautiful. I love his baffled tenderness and his chivalry and his big berserker self. 

I also love the glimpses we get of Daniel’s POV of Archie (who could forget “built like a brick shithouse and hung like a horse”) and how much those feelings fluster him. I’ve read the free short story “Love Song For A Viking” and loved it and would be happy to see any scene in the novel from Daniel’s POV. What did HE think of their first meeting? When Archie read his poems? In the cave? 

If you're heading in a smut direction with these two, this canon seems ripe for a "first time doing X” fic, since there is so much ground yet to be explored. 

If you signed up to write Fen and/or Pat PLEASE DO, with or without the boys. I love me some femslash smut and I'm very curious about their background - how they got together, what they're doing at the infamous house party to begin with, private moments, either or both of their POVs on events of the book. Anything! 

DNW for this fandom: Any breaking up or mixing up of canon couples. 

Lynes & Mathey series - Amy Griswold & Melissa Scott

Characters: Any

I delight in watching Julian and his deeply awkward self try to come to terms with his feelings and the expression thereof. He and Ned have that wonderful combination of a new relationship they're still exploring the boundaries of and yet a long, shared history,

I feel like this canon has lots of little set up hints for possible bombs still hidden in their back stories - particularly Julian’s - so if any of those intrigue you and you'd like to run with it either as a prequel or flashbacks go for it! No explicit underage though, please (kissing and feelings is fine).

The authors of this series leave us at Ned and Julian’s bedroom door generally, and leave a lot of the relationship development to oblique moments. It's deliciously slow-burn-y (and super well-written) but I certainly wouldn't mind a more in depth exploration of any aspect of their relationship. Quiet times, domestic times, sexy times, fights, etc. What is their first Christmas like? Does Julian interact with Ned’s alluded to but not yet on page family at all? Smut-wise - What is on Julian’s list??? Dear god, do enquiring minds want to know. 

If you want to tackle the still unplumbed waters of one Miss Cordelia Frost, either solo or as part of the ensemble, that would be amazing. She's such a competent enigma and anything canon or not from her POV would be a treat. I'm curious about her investigations, about her opinion of our main couple, about her inner world and what she goes home to each night. Any sexuality headcanon you have for her - ace/aro, wlw, straight - is fine with me, since I have no fixed feeling on that for her. 

The Gentleman's Guide To Vice And Virtue Series - Mackenzie Lee

Characters: Percy Newton

I loved the utter romp-y abandon of this fun story--Kidnapping! Pirates! Alchemy!--and fell in love with the relationship between our emotionally moronic narrator and the love of his life.

I specifically requested Percy as a character because I want more, more, more of him navigating his incredibly difficult world and his new relationships. Any interaction between Percy and either/both of the Montagues would be amazing. I'd love to see Henry from his perspective, or his thoughts on the siblings in contrast to his own family. When and why did Percy decide to keep his fits secret from Henry? When did he know he loved him? He's necessarily the oblique one in cannon, so I want to pry into Percy's inner world and find out what is really going on for him (before, during, or after canon).

If you have questions for me or want to run something by someone who knows my taste, you can drop a PM to @ghostcat3000, a fabulous fandom friend and amazing writer who has graciously offered to serve as a go between to maintain anonymity. 

Have fun writing!

Bry