#on second thought im just gonna not think too deeply on this one
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im not out to my parents rn and they found a letter i wrote to myself during freshman year abt my dysphoria...
guys am i cooked
#tbh i dont know why i wrote it#it was just easier to put to paper than speak abt it i guess#worst part is my dog brought it to them#on second thought im just gonna not think too deeply on this one#my mom forgets stuff easily (gaslighting myself)#queer#agender
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make you mine ~ m.sturniolo x reader (she/her)
જ⁀➴. summary: i mean you know what they say, keep your friends close but always keep your enemies closer- just how much closer?
જ⁀➴. warnings: filthy smut, fingering, dumbification, degradation, praise, rope bunny, spitting, spanking (i’m sorry), dom!matt and sub!matt, jealousy, brat!reader, a little angsty (cause yk i fw that too much)
જ⁀➴. this is for @annamcdonalds67 challenge!! i will be basing this fic off of madison beer’s ‘make you mine’ !
·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·
‘i wanna lay you down, i wanna string you up, i wanna make
you mine.’
do you know that feeling when you’re drunk, so drunk that your mind feels like a fog? like a layer of cloud and mist has settled into the crevices of your brain, seeping into your every thought. a fog so powerful that it alters your visions and brings hidden secrets to the tip of your tongue, the kind of secrets that would change something, anything once and for all.
and in that moment, the feeling of freedom outweighs all the consequences of letting that secret out. slowly, my fogged brain pieces together to allow my hands to fiddle with the padlocks of the secret. to untie the tangled chains, to swivel the tiny little key around on the pads of my fingers, to push the blade into the hole in the chest.
and just like that, a secret sworn to never be spread dribbles down the edges of the box and every thought telling me, yelling actually, that what i’m about to do is wrong is etched away by a metaphorical marker and nothing will stop me from what i want to do and what i’m going to do.
the dizzying noise of a thousand people, some my friends, most of them random people you’d find at classic LA parties, is silenced by the sound of my beating heart and the blood pumping viciously around my body.
it’s the kind of passion that comes from envy, that comes from jealousy, that comes from resent so blinding that every step you take feels like it could break the marble floor underneath your feet. or that steam pushing out of your ears could be visible.
it’s the kind of jealousy that comes from seeing a person you care so deeply about in a corner with some bitch who knows nothing about him.
like- she doesn’t know what he likes and doesn’t like, she doesn’t know that he has three books by his bed and that one of them has her initials carved into the fourteenth page. she would never know that his own couch has an imprint from where my fucking ass sits everyday. like she wouldn’t know that their shared ‘hatred’ wasn’t actually real. just like how she doesn’t know that he is not on the market and she has absolutely no fucking place in the world to have her wretched bones on his skin.
you’d assume that in a situation like this time slows like a movie but it doesn’t. it speeds and i can’t keep track of anyone around me or what song is playing or even what drink is sloshing onto my hand from my cup. i just know exactly where it’s going to go though.
before i step foot into the beaming light of the kitchen, two hands grab my hips and swivel me around. two hands that won’t be there in a minute if they don’t leave my body.
im met with a pair of very similar eyes and i suddenly feel very guilty for thinking what i thought a second ago.
‘hey! where have you been all night? me and nick have been looking for you literally everywhere.’ chris’ eyes look concerned but his smile is still in full tact.
‘i’ve been talking to people, catching up-‘
‘did something happen? cause you know, you look like you’re gonna kill somebody’ he laughs, his hands leaving my hips and i brush the area off where he touched, holding my head high to hopefully hide the seeving look on my face.
‘just people liking to get up in my business, you know how it is. ‘ i nod, sipping from cup, immediately regretting because actually wtf is in it.
‘okay, well- me and nick were about to leave, we’re just tryna round you and matt up.’ my teeth clench together at the sound of his name.
‘yeah, i don’t know chris. i might go home later, feels like we only just got here!’
‘it’s literally 2am, we’ve been here 4 and half hours already-‘
“come on, chris! when do you ever get to go to a party as big as this? go find a girl or something- give yourself a good time!’ his eyebrows furrow and he shrugs his shoulders.
“i guess so-“
“you gotta get over that bitch ex of yours anyways, perhaps this could be your perfect time.” and with that, he was fully listening. his shoulders now standing upright and his posture as straight as possible.
“you’re right, y/n. oh, look- there’s matt! guess he’s already a step ahead of me and you.”
my head spirals around is quickly, i think i saw stars. big, white, angry shooting stars. the sight of his hands clenching onto her ass, pushing her against a kitchen counter. her dress slowly riding up her thighs, thanks to his legs prying them open.
and with that, something ticks inside me.
i’ve been jealous before. hell i’ve been the most jealous in the room. but have you ever been so jealous that a rack of knives looked appealing and the bat that hangs above the wall in the living room looked handy dandy to do the exact job you needed to?
why was it always the bitchiest of girls who all the guys hate -but apparently not so because she’s tugging on one of their dicks by saturday.
well guess what? two can play at that game, bitch.
i turn around to find a good looking guy, not so attractive that i could become attached but not ugly enough for me to be gagging when i run my hands along his dick.
‘you. come with me.” i gesture, my fingers curving in to lure him into me.
his brows furrow and he scoffs, “why?”
“cause i fucking said so, come with me.” i drag his hand and he turns back to look at this friends with a sudden bright smile.
our hands are clenched together as i pull him through a small crowd towards the kitchen. the urge to instantly jump on him to rile matt up is incredibly overwhelming but desperation isn’t always the best look on me.
my hand reaches for a red cup, filled with what looks like classic punch and i pour it down the sink to fill it up with straight vodka and hand it to him. “drink up, buttercup.”
his eyes widen but he obeys and i watch as he drinks every last sip, my fists clenching from the idea of what’s going on directly behind me.
“ngh’ matt-“ i hear the girl moan and my head twists to see his eyes glaring into mine whilst sucking red marks onto her neck.
i scoff and drag my guy closer to me, all whilst maintaining eye contact to lick a stripe up his neck and shove my right hand up his shirt to feel his torso. the guy did have toned abs, i could feel from how rock hard he was against my fingers but unlucky for him, i was completely and utterly distracted by the guy i hated so fucking much opposite me.
hate so pure that the sound of his name made goosebumps run down my neck and my blood bubble under my skin. my eyes would sting from the gaze of his eyes, my eyelids burning from refusing to shut. it was hate so pure that seeing a girl on his arm made my throat run dry and my words choke. the rings on my fingers digging into my palms and my teeth scratching against one another as i clenched my jaw to see the hickies scattered on his chest.
my tongue caresses the skin of his neck, latching over what i think is his sweet spot, as he moves his hands down my body. i smirk as i see matt latch onto the bitch’s figure tighter, desperate to outweigh whatever i was doing.
i look up at the guy and say, “do whatever you want to me, right here, right now.” his eyes light up and his breath halts slightly.
“but we’re in here with so many people-“
“i don’t care.” my head turning back to look at matt who is still looking at me, a grimacing smile speaking across my face which makes his brows furrow deeper into his skin.
the guy grabs my leg to push it onto his, my front up against him and he latches our mouths together, his tongue immediately creating a space between my lips to enter.
after a solid minute of awkwardly making out in front of what felt like 30 people, a hand pushes my leg down from the guys hip and grabs my hand to pull me away from the crowd.
i’d be stupid if i said i didn’t know it was matt, of course i knew it was him. after all, he knew i had full control over him even if we were just enemies.
sweating bodies collided with mine and i squeeze my body close together to avoid elbows to the face. my heels making me stumble a little, alcohol still running through my system.
i look down to find a step up a winding staircase, a classic LA mansion.
20 steps felt like half a lifetime as matt still desperately drags me up them, whispering incoherent, angry remarks under his breath. until finally he makes it to the top and barges through the first bedroom he sees.
i enter quickly after him, my hand falling to my side as he slams the door behind us. i didn’t have time to react before he pushes my shoulder into the wall behind me, digging his nails into my skin.
his eyes are practically black with anger, his eyebrows fallen to his eyelids yet a disgusting grin on his face. his tongue slides along his teeth, before he spits, ” what the fuck do you think you’re playing at?”
“whatever you’re playing, i mean it’s only fair.” i squeak back, my breath a little taken away from the sudden collide with my back and the brick wall. and of course the incredibly small space between our lips and the fact that our noses are touching.
“that’s not how this works around here.”
“then how does it? you get to go around with every girl in our state and i sit in the background watching?” what was that even supposed to mean?
he removes a hand from my shoulder and shakes his head, “people around here know they can’t touch you. they just know that, sweetheart. i assumed you would too.”
“and you’re allowed to have that bitch all over you? tell me, matt. how is this really fucking fair?” his hand comes up to my throat to clench it, light enough so i’m not choking but hard enough so that i’m gagged, my head lifted up a little.
“because how else am i supposed to get you to fucking take notice that i want you.”
i furrow my eyebrows, i try to speak but he clenches harder and the words don’t form in my mouth.
“every girl i have i imagine it’s you, every time i’m fucking a girl i imagine it’s your pussy im in, i imagine it’s your lips that im sucking on.”
i look dead in his eyes, my lashes blurring my vision slightly, his hooded gaze mesmerising me as i take in his every word
“every mean comment i made and every remark you made back riled me up. i knew it, you knew it, everyone else fucking knew it. im fed up of this bullshit circle we’ve had going on- i need you to see that you’re mine. when i saw you and that bitch in the kitchen, i smiled because i knew i got you. i got you to the point where you fucking admitted to me that im in your brain, you want me just as much as i want you baby.”
his tongue pokes out to lick a strip along my lip, he stands back to look at me in such a vulnerable position. my legs squeezed together in my little black dress and his hand wrapped around my neck as i look up at him with teary eyes and a dumb little smile on my face. it was just all he had ever wanted.
his hand leaves my neck, reaching up to grab my jaw and push my lips against his. a messy, tongue-filled kiss. his tongue sucks onto mine and i moan into his mouth, my legs moving forward to push him backwards.
he hums into the kiss, moving his head to suck on my lips whilst treading towards the bed in which he eventually pulls us onto. my legs scramble to straddle his lap and loop my hands around his neck.
he pulls away to pull the straps of my dress down as i look into his eyes, if somebody had told me two years ago that i was straddling matt’s fucking lap i probably would’ve slapped you around the face.
“do you know how long i’ve wanted you baby?” he says, yanking down my black dress to reveal a lacy, practically see-through bra that pushes up my boobs to accentuate them especially for matt’s eyes.
i shake my head, my hands clasping onto the hairs on the nape of his neck.
“too fucking long.” he rips off my bra, my mouth wide from how easily he broke the fabric, a loud groan leaving his mouth as he launches forward to suck my hard, pointed nipples.
my head thrown back as i grind against his jean pants, desperate to relieve the feeling in between my thighs. the tent of his pants brushing roughly against my region making me pull his head closer into my tits.
he pulls away to stare up at me, already looking a little disheveled, as he chuckles slightly, “you’re so fucking needy, who knew a pretty baby with a mouth as big as yours could be so desperate for my cock?”
i whimper at the sound of his patronising voice, my hips moving faster as he speaks but the loss of the soft pad of his tongue of nipples making my eyes water a little.
he grabs my jaw to force me to look at him, his fore finger and his middle finger squeezing together closely as he pushes them towards my lips. “open up, slut.”
i open my mouth for him and he guides his fingers into my mouth and instinctively i suck on them, my eyes slowly fluttering shut and i hum onto them, wishing it was something else.
the tent underneath me twitching even under all this fabric and the hands looped around his neck untie to slowly run down his torso all the way to the zip on his jeans.
“you want it all don’t you baby? you act so tough but really you’re just a whore for me and my dick. it’s not even been five minutes and you’re already scrambling to undo my pants. that’s it baby, let me use all your pretty parts.” i pull them down to reveal his wet boxers and his huge dick.
this man wasn’t just packing a couple inches, it was enough to bruise the back of my throat and my cervix. my eyes light up as i hold it through the cotton of his underwear, drool begging to leave my mouth.
he leans back slowly, his elbows digging into the plush mattress underneath of us as he guides me closer towards his cock, pushing away stray hairs that curl around the frame of my face.
i pull down his boxers for his dick bounce straight up and hit his stomach, pre cum leaking from his bright red, swollen tip. and i hungrily scramble to grab hold of it, his words replaying in my head, i’m just a whore for him.
my hands smooth the veins along the bottom of his dick, slowly making my way up to kiss his oozing tip and i feel his body shudder underneath me. without a second thought, i shove his tip in my mouth and suck his cum off. my mouth hollows and i move my head up and down, determined to get some noise out of his pretty mouth.
“that’s it pretty girl, just like that- mmm” his head is thrown back and his hands come round to cradle my head, pushing me further onto his dick.
i moan which sends vibrations down his cock, his tip growing in my mouth as i swirl my tongue around it, the gagging sounds echoing in the room, riling matt up more and more.
“fucking take it all baby- oh fuck, i know you can” he winces out, the grip on my hair tightening and i smile against the girth of his dick doing exactly what he says, hollowing my mouth and sucking all the way to his bone. his hips shove up to hit the back of my throat and my eyes flutter shut, the full feeling in my throat overwhelming me.
he guides my head by bobbing my head up and down in time with his hip thrusts, the sounds of my gargling getting progressively louder as he becomes more determined to cum down my throat.
a sudden halt to his erotic sounds, i feel my head being pulled up, a ‘pop’ sound coming from my mouth from the sudden loss of his dick in my throat. he laughs, smoothing my cheek with his thumb before gently slapping it and grabbing my chin so i look at him.
“you gonna let me make you feel good?” i frantically nod my head, the heat between my legs practically burning a hole thru my panties now.
“that’s my girl, you’re mine. aren’t you?” i nod and he tuts, “ use your words.”
“i’m yours.” and that’s all he needed before he picks me up like i’m a fucking feather weighing nothing more than a couple pounds and throws me onto the bed whilst he twists around to stand up off the bed, looking down at me.
“you know it, my little slut.” he pulls down my dress finally, he didn’t get to finish underdressing me cause the idea of finally tasting him was too much. but now that i can feel the cold air hitting the most private of places and his glare blazing up and down my body, i feel shy.
my elbows hover over my boobs as i try and scrunch up a little but matt’s hands pry them away and he spreads my legs before discarding my little black dress on the floor, i’m only left with my matching lace panties.
he licks his lips, his glare fixating on the wet patch created on my underwear, just for him. as he holds my thighs apart, he blows gently onto the fabric making it instantly cold and i shift up the bed a little, whimpering.
“this all for me, baby?” he looks up at me, caressing my thighs gently. the cold metal of his rings making my goosebumps more and more apparent.
“mhm.” my eyes flutter shut and i push against the force of matt’s hands, becoming increasingly desperate for any kind of pressure on my pussy. “please.”
“please what?” he smirks, his touch on my thighs now so light you wouldn’t even believe it was there. it was another level of teasing that made the core of your very stomach fuzzy and the lack of any touch adds to the sick feeling you have.
“just do something, anything.” he snaps when i say that, flipping me around quickly so that my body slaps against the mattress, my ass on full show to him, my thing not doing much too cover my the cheeks of my ass.
“i wanna feel the rush, i wanna taste the crush, i wanna get you going.”
the sharp sting of fabric ripping against my delicate skin and sudden gasp mixed with the breaking of sweet lace makes matt chuckle in the background before placing a harsh slap to my ass, sending me into the air as it was so unexpected.
“you gonna be good for me?” he smooths over where he slapped, secretly wishing it will make a bruise.
“yes, yes i’ll be good.” i beg, wanting literally anything.
as his fingers move closer towards my wetness, he suddenly moves away quickly before getting up and searching the room.
i look up and frown, “what the fuck are you doing?” i whisper a little, upset that he looks like he’s about to leave.
he doesn’t say anything but pauses once he gets to the drawer in the closet and laughs before turning around to reveal a belt.
“what are you doing? this isn’t even your room.” i say, relaxing yet still confused.
he walks over to me and forces my chin up at him, “keep speaking in that bratty fucking tone and i will leave you high and dry”
“well you won’t even let me get high so what effect is that gonna have-“ before i could finish my sentence he covers my mouth with one hand and uses the other to turn me around so my head is shoved into the pillows of the bed. he scrambles to grab my hands, pushing them against my back and fiddling with the belt.
“just you fucking wait and see, little angel.” he twists them around my wrists and tightens them so i can’t get out without any help.
his hands letting going of mine before i feel them suddenly exactly where i need them. a singular finger pressing down onto my bundle of nerves and my whole body jumps with just a simple touch, a pornographic moan leaving my mouth.
“does that feel good baby” i whimper back a desperate ‘yes’ and wriggle against the pad of his finger wanting him to move oh, so badly.
“want me to move my hand, darling?” i nod my head frantically hoping he can see me which i gather he can considering the low laugh that leaves his mouth and the sudden movement of his finger dragging down slowly through my folds.
“you want me here?”
“yes, yes. i want you there. i want you to move.”
“you want me to move?”
“please.”
“there it is.” and with that, the gentle movements turned into quick, hard thrusts. his two fingers sliding through my hole at an insane pace, not letting me readjust for one second, making my whole body lift from the bed, my hands shaking in the belt he tied me up in.
the cold metal of his rings mixing with the warm wetness coating his fingers, the sensation was immense. all before he flips me over and presses his mouth onto my clip sending me into fucking sub space.
“oh my fucking god! matt-“
he licks and kisses at my clit at a gentle pace all while his fingers strum in and out of my hole at an alarming speed, it’s a wonder he doesn’t have arm cramp even after one minute.
my ass doesn’t stay on the bed and my whole body is jittering at the sudden overwhelming sensation. the flicks of his tongue and the curving of his fingers making sure he hits my sweet spots makes the bundle in my stomach tighten up.
“please matt, i’m gonna cum!”
he carries on, his feasting at my pussy getting progressively more intense, like a starved man. he enters another finger into my hole, stretching me perfectly so that i am shaped for him.
he breathes against my heat, “let go, baby.”
and with that, i did. sweat running from my back and forehead, my tied hands desperately grabbing onto the leather and my toes clenching over his shoulders.
he licks me clean, pressing one last kiss to my clit which makes me jolt as he laughs a little to himself seeing my messy figure on the bed.
“you did so well, baby.” i smile at him, his head coming close to mine to kiss my lips.
“now you gonna help me out sweetheart?”
i nod and he turns me around to take me out of the tied belts and he kisses the red marks from where i pulled against the restraint. “you liked these?” i shake my head and he laughs.
i pull myself up from the bed and onto matt’s lap to face him, i latch my lips onto his and hook my hands around his neck pulling him closer to me. my naked body fitting perfectly around his warm body.
he moves his hands down my body, caressing my curves and humming against our kiss as i pull away and look down to stroke his dick to which he kisses and pulls himself into my neck.
i move myself up his body to push myself down onto his hard shaft, as he winces and throws his head backwards, moaning my name.
i pull at his hairs and rock my hips against him and watch his demeanour change as his hips desperately rutt against mine and i forcefully push my hands onto his thighs so that he’s restricted.
“what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he groans as my grinding against him slows.
“taking control.” his eyes widen and i push myself up further so that i can plunge further onto his dick. my nails digging into his thighs as i watch his breathing get faster and moans leave his mouth.
“that’s not - ngh- how it works.” he argues with me which doesn’t last for long when i start to kiss his neck and suck on the lobes of ears in which his thrusts up into me become more persistent.
“i’m gonna cum-“
“not until i cum.” i say, chasing my high with him as i hear him whine into my ear, panting a little too.
“please, just let me.” he hugs me closer, my boobs crushed against his chest as he begins to rocks back and forth with me, moaning and groaning with his head in the air. so much for tough guy, huh?
“cum with me.” i bounce up and down as he thrusts up into me for the last time before releasing his cum, painting my walls as it oozes out of me as i collapse onto the bed next to us.
our heavy breathing and hearts beating is the only thing that can be heard.
matt’s hand slowly moves to bring me closer to him, i smile as i look up at his tired state.
“you changed quickly, mr tough guy to oh please! please, let me cum! “ he shakes his head and covers my mouth.
“shut up, you wouldn’t fucking let me .”
i laugh at him and he picks me up to squeeze me, so much for being enemies, huh?
“so-“
“you’re mine now right? like for real?” he’s not looking at me, rather picking at his nails.
i giggle and press my head against his forehead and nod, “of course.”
hope you all liked !! too many fucking words :)
tags: @wisteral @evieolo @ev3rgreenxtrees @estelleswrld @recklessmatt @recklesssturniolo @realuvrrr @urfavstromboli @obscurechris @poopydroopt @plasticferal @lilasturns @lovingmattysposts @m4ttslvr @mattandmilds @muwapsturniolo @mattsgirlfriendlol @kirby0strombolli @kvtie2 @kikisturnioloo @kqyslyho3 @klarasmith @sturnioloshacker @strniohoeee @sturniolopepsi @sturniolosstar @sturniolossmut @mattslolita @zooweemamas @chrattenthusiast @chrissgirlsstuff @bernardsbendystraws @ducksturniolo @dsturniolo @deatthmatch @fruitglazed @hearts4sturniolo @hawaiihasmyheart @heartsforchrisandmatt @hoesformatt @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @inlovewchris @ihateeveryone357474 @ilovemattsturn @nicksmainbitch @noellesturniolo @yurtrrrr @mattsgirlfriendlol @mattsfaked
#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo#sturniolo#matt sturniolo fan fiction#sub matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo angst#matthew sturniolo imagine#mattsturniolo#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo angst#chris sturniolo fluff#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo imagines#christopher sturniolo#chri
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LOVE AND DEEPSPACE NSFW THINK PIECE/DRABBLE
I’m depraved
Rafayel is the neediest. He’s got a lot of insecurities/abandonment issues from his first love and he def has an anxious attachment style. He’s also absolutely the type of person to be codependent (Hello?? “Join me let’s drown in the ocean together”????? Like, come on). He’s constantly trying to do every little thing with you, almost like he can’t breathe unless it’s air that’s already been filtered through your lungs.
However, all big baby behavior™️ considered, he definitely knows how to woo you. I feel like since he’s Lemurian and also an artist, he only knows how to love a person in the most deeply devoted and romantic way. He’s also very careful with his heart and who he gives it to, once he decides it’s truly and solely yours that’s it. There’s no one else. But you also have to honor that with proper care, he’s very sensitive.
Anyway, I feel like he fucks in a way that’s slow, very sensual. The kind of love making where he takes over all of your senses, all you can feel is his touch, all you can smell is his sweat and cologne, all you can taste is him on your tongue, and all you can see and hear are his face and the sweet words of devotion he whimpers in your ear.
He’s also very easy to rile up.
Zayne is boring to me. Like I get the appeal he’s very hot and he’s also very stable (in a romantic sense) and healthy but I just can’t fantasize about that. Like yeah he’s a busy ass surgeon who will always make time for you no matter what and he’s super devoted and always caring for you in little ways, but also mf will make you take a water break during sex if you’re too wet bc he doesn’t want you to get dehydrated. Im done.
Honestly I think I’m biased against him bc the way he talks to MC just reminds me of this horrid man I met at a bus stop once who immediately started trying to tell me what to do/give me life advice. I get Zayne is qualified and the guy at the bus stop was not but idc if y’all want me to put effort into writing for him ur gonna have to submit it into the requests baby, moving on.
SYLUS. I feel like everybody thinks he’s just some big ol’ nasty freak but they’re WRONG. THEYRE WRONG ABOUT HIM.
Don’t get me wrong he’s definitely fucking tweaking when you first meet him, like just going apeshit off the bat with no context for us. But also? Once you get to know him? Bitch I’ll kill for that man you do not know. This mf drops everything for you.
Important arms deal he’s been trying to set up for a year or going to the arcade with you to get plushies out of a claw machine? Deal = cancelled
The fearless leader of the N109 zone who blows up anyone who perturbs him slightly. MF contributes 50% of the carbon in the atmosphere alone with the amount of shit he literally actually blows up with bombs. But you? You may break into his house and handcuff him to his bed in his sleep while trying to steal a brooch off of him. he doesn’t give a fuck. he’s in love with you. Set his house on fire! He won’t care! He’ll just buy a new one!
As rough as he is around the edges he’s completely smitten. “You should know I adore you. There is no love purer than mine.” Like girl don’t fucking play with me. Is he mentally ill? Absolutely. But he is so devoted, so careful with you. “I’m never annoyed when we do things together.” It’s literally like he’s learning how to be a human being for once and he doesn’t care about losing the coldness or sharpness he once had because you’re more than enough to replace any absence the loss of those thing may bring. He knows he’s getting soft and doesn’t care. He doesn’t try to stop it. To kill for you is nothing to him. Not even a second thought. He kills all the time. But he would never harm again if the violence ever came in between you two.
And I think that dedication, that devotion totally translates itself into how he makes love to you. He’s definitely a filthy talker, I think he says some NASTY shit during sex, just because he likes seeing you squirm and feel how your skin gets hot from his words. But I don’t think he likes hurting you. He wouldn’t do anything to harm you. He’ll spank you yeah, and he’ll tap or squish your cheeks to get your attention. But he only wants to bring you pure, carnal pleasure when it comes to sex. If you even think “that feels good” he’s like a dog with a bone. You get no rest when he’s there you only get mind-numbing pleasure. He’s a tease, he’ll poke lighthearted fun at how loud you’re being, ask you who you think can hear you two while you’re being nasty. But he knows you. He knows what you love, what gets you off, and he cares to learn all of this because of how much he loves you God I’m SICK
Xavier is filthy. That man laps up your pussy like a thirsty dog. The freakiest nastiest mf out of all of them. He won’t show any sexual prowess or interest for months I think. I’m not sure he’s even aware of his powers. Your relationship will literally be based around his chaotic sleeping “schedule” (that shit is not a schedule) and relaxing between missions together. All things considered, you guys spend almost every waking (and sleeping) hour together. Work, dates, naps, eating, it’s almost always together.
It’s not until he hears you getting hit on all night that his composure finally starts to crack.
Three months of the sweetest, purest boyfriend you could ever ask for. Your sweet silly boy, who starts silently pouting all night. It’s not until you two finally find a hotel to stay at for the night, that he finally starts loosening up.
“I’m not a young fool, you know. I don’t take what’s in front of me for granted” he quotes the guys hitting on you earlier, which he heard through your ear piece. Then he recites every time another guy hit on you while you two were on your mission. He’s a jealous jealous jealous boy. He HATES other guys vying for your attention. It just makes him want to whisk you away and bounce you on his dick so loud that every other guy can hear it. When he feels jealousy, he feels the need to mark, claim, devour you so no one else can try and steal you. He gets himself worked up. Stewing and agonizing over the thought and the memory of another guy trying to get to you so much that he can’t even think of sleeping. He gets completely taken over by the urge to have your every reaction solely based on him and what he gives you. I think he fights off these feelings for a long time, up until the protocore mission in the misty invasion memory. He just barely keeps it together until you’re rubbing all over him, pulling him closer to whisper his name in his ear, he just can’t take it. He needs to hear you say it louder. He needs everyone to hear you say his name.
He fucks you so sloppy, the kind of man who does not care what means he has to use as long as the end is what he wants. He wants you covered in marks of his making, he wants you to smell like him, he wants you to have trouble walking the next day, and he wants that asshole who tried hitting on you at work to ask you “what’s wrong? You look like you’re having trouble walking”
And as soon as the guy asks that you look over to Xavier, who has the most pleased little shit eating grin on his face.
The craziest part is that after he gets it all out of his system he’s back to being the little innocent sweet boy. But you know his secret, and he likes that you know it.
#sylus love and deepspace#love and deepspace#lads#lads sylus#lads zayne#lads rafayel#lads xavier#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace smut#love and deepspace x mc#love and deepspace xavier#love and deepspace rafayel#love and deepspace sylus#lads smut
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Okok little request if ur up for it. Just Hamzah x reader (gn if mentioned) where they have a smoke sesh together in his new apartment but reader gets too comfortable and accidentally falls asleep on Hamzah with the cats.
Just pure fluff lmaoo I just can't get the thought out of my head I need to grip his shirt like a child he just looks so comfy :')
Also idc what format it can be headcanon or a small fic, whatever u feel!!
close to you 🎀 (hamzah)
words: 1.1k
warnings: use of weed, making out, fluff, established relationship
note: hi lovelies!! im so sorry for the lack of posts recently - im on vacation and ive had no time or motivation. on the ride home though, im gonna try to catch up to requests!! and im thinking abt writing smut again 🤭
“do you wanna smoke?”
hamzahs head turns from looking at the ceiling to looking at you. he looks almost nervous, his eyes darting across your face like he did the first time he kissed you. you smile at the thought and sit up on his bed.
he’d invited you over to see his new apartment (finally). you’d ended up in his room playing with his new cats, blue and red, who seemed to take a liking to you. blue sits in your lap now, and you scratch behind her ears as you speak.
“like, a blunt?”
he stays laying down, red lying on his chest. he pets her and laughs softly.
“nah, i have a pen. but it’s the same idea.”
he raises an eyebrow, “you have smoked before, right?”
you blush, your face heating up. you look down to the kitty in your lap, and bring both legs up so they’re crossed.
“duh. just like. once or twice in high school, though. and…” you trail off.
“and?” he asks, picking up red in his arms and sitting up next to you.
“i don’t think i did it right. like, i didn’t really feel anything.” you admit
“oh okay. that’s okay. i mean like- if you don’t wanna-“
“no, i do.” you say quickly, “i just - like you’ll have to teach me i guess. that sounds stupid. but the first time was like, a bong and i totally didn’t inhale shit.”
he laughs, and the sound makes you crack a smile, even after embarrassing yourself. he’s wearing his camo hoodie, and his curls are just the perfect amount of messy. one falls into his eyes and he blushes it away with his palm.
“that’s okay, i can show you. though, i don’t know how great a teacher i’ll be.”
he places red in your lap next to blue and gets up from the bed, going to dig through his drawers for his pen. you watch the way he moves, the way his sweatshirt rides up and shows a bit of his back. the way his pants fit. you look away when you catch yourself being a creep.
he finds it and goes to sit in front of you this time, near the end of the bed. he’s closer now, his legs matching yours in a sort of lazy criss-cross. he observes the device in his hands for a second before bringing it to his lips and inhaling.
when he releases the smoke, he tilts his head up and you stare at his neck. the smoke leaves his lips slowly and quickly disappears. he looks back to you and holds it out for you to take.
“it’s gonna die soon so we can just finish it today.” he says as you grab the pen from his hand, “unless you like, go crazy after a few hits.”
you roll your eyes and look at the pen in your hand, before lifting it to your mouth. you look to him for confirmation and he nods, so you deeply inhale like you saw him do.
“okay, now inhale again, and you’ll feel it in the back of your throat.”
you do as he says and feel it - it sort of burns. after a moment you puff out your cheeks and then release the smoke, slow at first. that is until you cough, and the rest comes out.
he laughs and takes the pen from your hand.
“you okay?”
you nod, but keep coughing for a moment. sitting up, you reach your hand out again, wiggling your fingers to ask for the pen back. he raises an eyebrow at you.
“you want it again already.” you nod. “alright, but be careful, for real. don’t do too much just to impress me.”
you give him a look.
“i’m not, i swear. just, lemme try again okay?”
he hands you the pen and you take another hit, this one burning less. you feel it in your head, and you smile as you let out the smoke into his face. he waves his hand to get it away, but he’s laughing.
“thatta girl, hey, you feel good?”
“i feel great.” you say, going in to kiss him. he kisses back and leans forward, wrapping his hands around your waist. you uncross your legs and sit up on your knees.
his mouth is soft and you moan into it as he moves his hands down to the back of your legs, lifting you onto his waist. from there he moves back so he’s up against the bedframe with you in his lap.
it’s like that for the next hour - slow kisses and the pen passed between you two. neither of you suggest anything more despite your closeness (and hamzahs obvious hard-on). there’s a soft sort of feel to the moment.
“i wanna try something.” he says eventually, taking the device from your fingers and moving it to his mouth.
you look at him with curiosity and lean back slightly to watch. he pushes the smoke around in his mouth a bit before taking your face in both of his hands and pulling you close. you open your mouth to kiss him, but he stays just an inch away, and while your lips are parted, blows the smoke into your open mouth.
inhaling it, you smile against his mouth and properly kiss him. you can feel his grin forming too. he deepens the kiss and his hold on your waist tightens.
when he pulls away, his eyes dance across your face and his mouth rests in a lazy smile.
“what?” you ask, regarding his staring problem
“just so…so fuckin pretty.”
you bite your lip to hide your grin and shake your head. your hair is a mess after all that’s happened and your makeup is smeared. still, hamzah seems mesmerized.
you bury your head in his neck for him to hold you. his hoodie smells like the smoke and a bit of his cologne. you breathe in and out repeatedly, smelling him. he smells so good, so safe.
slowly you slump down to lay on his chest. on instinct, his hand reaches to play with your hair, pushing it out of your face.
it’s funny, hamzah never seemed handsy before this. you never considered him someone who likes physical touch - not with friends or even family, mostly. but with you it’s different. he didn’t expect it either, but as soon as he felt your soft skin on his, he never wanted it any other way.
the motion of him stroking your hair makes you sleepy and eventually your eyes drift closed. you sleep for hours - if you had any actual plans for the day you would wake up stressed and anxious. instead, you wake up and see his head above yours, resting against his pillow.
he’s fallen asleep too.
-
i hope you enjoyed! requests are open! >_<
#hamzahthefantastic#hamzah x reader#hamzah imagines#hamzah x y/n#hamzahsmut#slushy noobz#hamzah fic#hamzahthefantastic smut#muffin-berry#hamzahxreader#hamzah smut#hamzah the fantastic#hamzah fluff#hamzah angst
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Watch ur mouth.
toxic!chris x fwb!blackfem
prompt: your out at a party with Chris ( wearing top left corner ) and you start to piss him off, flirting with guys, ur tits nearly being exposed already had pissed him off and on top of that ur attitude he apparently didn’t like, so he fixes it for you
ok so this wasn’t requested but she asked for the part where you flirt with a guy so - @buckys-cumdumpster 💋 semi requested
Contains: sub!reader!, rough!dom!chris!, face fucking ( hip thrusting ), car sex, stomach bulge, missionary, overstimulation, creampie, HEAVY degrading, pet names, hair pulling, dacryphilia, cum eating, unprotected sex ( don’t do this !! ), dumification!kink, mentions of safeword ( not actually used ), dirty talk,
lord.
Chris and I had been talking for a bit and he always manages to do some shit to piss me off and yet here I am. Going to a party with him after he just got on my nerves.
Nonetheless, this meant id have “a bad attitude” Chris calls it which already annoyed me so I decided I was gonna fuck with him.
I wore his favourite outfit on me the pants hugged my curves making ass pop out and them being low rise showing my dermal piercings and the fitted jacket made my tits look good as I didn’t zip it up all the way and this outfit would always result in something sexual, fingering or his cock buried inside me butttt I wanted to push his limits too see how far he’d go.
I finished my makeup and spraying water and putting curling products on my hair only zipping up my jacket too my lower boob allowing my tits to sit perfectly guaranteed too drive Chris crazy .
I grabbed my lip gloss and heard chris honking outside and I stepped out and hopped into his car.
Chris's eyes immediately shifted to my exposed chest and shifted his facial expression.
What did I tell you about this outfit? Chris sighed deeply gripping the steering wheel tightly and I smirked too myself already getting a rise out of him
Im wearing it like what is ur problem? I snap back running my fingers in my hair as it curved at my ass guaranteed to drive him insane.
I watch his jaw clench as we ride in silence before pulling up too this party he dragged me too.
I got out the car walking into the party disappearing in the crowd of people leaving Chris with his own thoughts.
The party had been going on for just about an hour and I had been lost in the music and alcohol. Nonetheless I wasn’t drunk but something tells me Chris was not going to be happy.
Playin games by summer walker & Bryson tiller played and immediately I rush too go dance, slowly moving my hips to the song.
this lasted before a guy, who was fairly attractive comes behind me moving my hips with his as I leaned back resting my head on his shoulder.
I look around the room and my eyes lock with Chris’s, he looks like he could explode any second, gripping tightly on his beer.
Chris’s pov
Is she fucking kidding me? I mean come on I’m way better looking than he is and he’s not even doing it right.
I know she’s only doing this to piss me off because of our little argument earlier. But fuck she looks so good
And she knows that my favourite outfit on her, the way it rests on her lower waist allowing her dermal piercings to show and how the pants hugged her curves outlining her ass just how I like. And then the fitted jacket to match- the way her tits rested from how she zipped it I wanted to bury my head in between them and inside of her
I watched how she moved her ass on his crotch and my blood boiled, knowing that’s supposed to be me, she’s mine, only I can touch her and fuck her as good as I do, hence why she’s never left.
Then she locked eyes with me and continued doing what she pleased? This women.
She shouldn’t have done that because she has no idea what I’ll do to her, god it just turned me on thinking of everything I was about to do to her. One thing I knew for sure.
I was gonna tear that ass up.
me clueless I didn’t really pay attention to Chris, I was consumed by alcohol and the sensual loud music filling my ears and shooting through my body.
Until I felt familiar hand, grip my arm.
“Let’s go”. Chris’s voice lingers on my neck pulling me away from the guy who quickly scoffed moving onto to another girl. What an ass
“Chris Chris ur pulling my arm!” I wince as he drags me out the party due to nobody paying attention and to the car pinning me on it with my stomach on the hood.
“You think that shits funny?” He says in almost a mocking tone before leaving a harsh smack too my clothed ass and I let out a yelp.
“Answer me I’m not playing with you.” Chris spoke lowly before repeating that same action.
“Chris okay okay! I’m sorry! I whimper and he chuckles standing me up.
"better, now get in the backseat". He demands and I follow and he climbs in shutting the door.
"I’m sick of ur attitude, you need to learn how to watch ur mouth". He grips my throat and I gag and nod.
"gonna put it to good use". A chuckle falls from his lips as he man spreads unbuckling his belt and I position myself between his legs.
"useless come help me yeah?" Chris rolls his eyes playfully and I sit up my nails clicking with his belt and pulling his pants down with his boxers allowing his hard and thick cock to spring out and hit his stomach.
The tip was a deep pink just oozing with pre cum.
"gonna suck this dick so good yeah?" He says spreads his pre-cum on my lips and I nod before sitting up.
"Nu uh, were doing my way, ur gonna take my dick the way I want". Chris smirks slightly before pulling my hair making my throat take al of him.
"Fuck- love that pretty mouth on me shit-" he groans matching my movements with his aggressive ones as he yanks my hair quickly and roughly not giving me time in between.
The slurping sounds of my mouth and his cock were almost pornographic as tears in my eyes already producing, Chris's moans shooting right to my core pulsating for him to be buried inside me.
"That's right be a good little slut and take it". Chris rests his head on the plush seats gripping my hair as he bites his lip my doe watery eyes meeting his seductive gaze
His hand gripping my hair forcing me to take all of his cock in my throat as a mixture of my salvia and his pre cum coats my lips and dribbles down my chin.
"Keep those pretty eyes on me, I wanna watch you- " he groaned as I peered at him through my lashes as he began thrusting his hips purposely as his cock hits the back of my throat making me gag.
"Fuck look at that- sound so much better with my dick in ur slutty mouth huh". Chris lets out a breathy laugh tucking his bottom lip between his teeth as he watched me struggle to take all of him.
Chris would not let up on his hip thrusts making my eyes water more each time as his dick size caused me to hollow my cheeks as he grips my hair tighter so get a quicker orgasm.
"that’s right you wanted to have all this mouth now I’m filling it with my cum-" Chris moans forcing my head all the way down my nose resting on his lower abdomen as his warm load shoots in my throat dribbling down as he lets me up his cum dripping down my mouth.
"Speechless already?" He chuckles wiping his thumb along my bottom lip collecting the excess semen slipping it into my mouth as I sucked it clean.
"Good girl. Now strip." He demanded manspreading as I unzipped my jacket first freeing my tits as I sat up pulling down my leggings revealing my red lace thong, Chris’s favorite
"wearing my favorite pair of panties huh? While grinding on some other guy?" Chris spoke angrily and shakes his head placing me back flat on the car seats.
"You just couldn’t wait to be fucked by me. Isn’t that right sweetheart?" His hand grips my face as he spoke in a coax voice and a whimpered at the sudden grasp.
"yeah you like it when I do this to you? Gripping you up like a whore? Huh?" He squeezed slightly harder and I nodded.
"Yes Chris I love it when you do this to me-" I groan feeling my lips smushed together and he smirked releasing his grip.
He leaned up taking off his jeans and boxers fully and his black hoodie.
He pulls me close gripping my legs pushing them up on his shoulders before slamming into me as I let out a loud moan.
"Shit ma- such a tight fuckin pussy- all for me right?" Chris let out a deep moan as he pushed his hips against the back of my thighs roughly knocking the wind out of my lunges.
"Fuck Chris s-slow down!" I cry out feeling his size burn into my pussy as he didn’t let me adjust the way I wanted, he was pissed.
"oh really? You don’t want this? Maybe I should call the other guy yeah?" He rests his forearm behind my head pressing our bodies together my legs in the air.
"fuck fuck no! I-I only want you!" I whimper as my eyes met his dark lustful blues his jaw clenched at the sight of me.
"good girl, sound so much better on my cock." His breath was on my neck before he positioned my legs back on his shoulders gripping my waist tightly snapping his hips with the back of my thighs abusing my cunt
At the pace he was going I couldn’t even think straight, the way his dick perfectly filled me up and his deep groans filled my ears.
"Oh fuck- Chris ur so fucking deep-" my moan and whimper fuelled his ego more as I was going to be fucked speechless already feeling my vocals fade.
"Look at that- such a fucking whore". Chris muttered gripping my neck allowing his hips to thrust harder as I was now unable to even utter words.
"shit- already? Where’s that attitude gone baby-" Chris gave me fake pout, pure anger and lust in his voice whilst he literally was fucking me speechless.
The position we were in allowed the tip of Chris’s cock to brush on my g-spot making me squeal slightly as the sounds of our skin meshing together fills the car.
"look at you, all dumb acting because of my cock so pathetic baby-" his devilish smirk grows as he watches how fucked out I look all because of his dick
"mmhm f-fuck Chris-" I cry out pathetically babbling as I shudder in his grasp, bound to leave bruises.
I noticed him not speaking and that’s when I noticed him looking down at my stomach seeing his dick poke through each thrust.
"yeah? You feel me in ur stomach? probably like this shit don’t you sweetheart". He mocked pressing a hand on my stomach and I moaned out loudly tears forming in my waterline
"you look so pretty when you cry mama". His expression softened for a second before that dominance took over quickly once more
Chris’s pace didn’t let up and my stomach began to tighten and I swore I was seeing stars, everything was a blur but fuck it felt so good.
"ugh- fuck your gonna cum- shouldn’t let ur slutty ass cum after the shit you pulled-" he says under his breath, a hint of his aggression still lingering as he reaches to rub my clit.
"better start begging baby". Chris looks at me and my eyes widen as I could barely even form words together and his request was way out of proportion.
"Fuck! P-please Chris I-i need to cum-" I whimper taking many breaths between my words hearing him scoff and how he damn near fucked me out of my vocabulary.
"That’s a good girl, cum on my dick baby show me how good I make you feel". That raspy voice of his always made me feel so many thoughts, just enough for that knot in my stomach to burst my cum began to drip down his thick cock still thrusting inside of me making me perk up
"C-Chris sensitive!" I squeal pushing his stomach away and he pins my hands above my head pressing his chest on mine being nose to nose.
"You know the safe word baby, better think fast because I’m not stopping". He breathes heavily onto my lips pressing a deep kiss against them as they swell.
"shit ma- your pussy feels so fuckin good- could stay in it all day-" Chris let out a breathy moan continuing to fuck me senseless as tears streamed down my face from overwhelming pleasure.
"oh god- Chris please-" I shudder putting my hand up and he immediately takes it holding him and he grunts feeling his own orgasm creep up along with a second one for me.
"I know baby your doing so fucking good for me- just one more yeah? He presses a kiss to my neck and I nodded as he rammed into me.
"fuck fuck fuck I’m gonna cum again-" I throw my head back and he didn’t prefer that so he gave me a look and my head shit up again as I gripped his hand tighter and he gave me a smirk.
"I’m not slowing down sweetheart- fuck just one more-" he moaned pressing his body on mine as our noses touched moaning into each other's mouths.
The tension was at an all time high, the car smelled like a sex aroma mixed with his cologne and my Dior perfume and his occasional “fuck” and my cries of his name as his cock twitched inside me of me.
"fuck- look at me I wanna see that pretty face when you cum-" Chris plants a deep kiss on my lips as I maintain eye contact with him feeling that knot in my stomach begin to burst.
"Chris I’m- fuck!" I screamed one final cry of his name before my juices coated his cock and lower stomach as his cum painted my walls.
We sat there for a minute catching our breaths before he spoke again
"You drive me insane baby-" he pants resting his head on my shoulder and I let out a breathy chuckle.
"What can I say-" I smile pushing my hair out of my face and he sits up sliding out of my tight hole making me wince.
"Shit you okay?" I didn’t hurt you did I? Chris scans my body carefully taking in the bruises of his fingers on my waist and neck.
"I’m okay- just tired and sore-" I shudder a bit when I meet his gaze, a soft one.
"When we get home I’ll run you a bath and we can watch a movie or some corny shit-" he let out a chuckle but that alone made me so happy.
I’d really like that. I say to myself but out loud I say
That's sweet- thank you Chris-
@mattsleftnipple03 @bernardsleftbootycheek @sturniolopowers@gdsvhtwa @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @worldlxvlys @chrisslut25 @princessbetsy123-blog @mattslolita @guccifrog@blahbel668 @mattsneezing @trickywritters @hearts4chris
@nonamegirlxsturniolo@luvmxtt @theyluv-meee @hoesformatt @luv4kozume @kikisturnioloo @itzdarling @pepsiimaxx @babyddolly @iiheartstef @junnniiieee07 @ast3ro1dzz@sturniolowhore @st7rnioioss @emma4eva@braindead4l @ihearttsyouu @kqyslyho3 @sturnsfav@sunsetsturniolos @sturniololoverr @stqrnstars @dlyansworld @chrisloyalgf @soimightlikeoldmen69 @abbie13sworld @lacysturniolo @sturniol0s @chrissgirlsstuff @luhsexcbihh @nicksmainbitch @rubyjaneaxx @love4chris @gamermattsgf @breeloveschris @meetballmatt @waydasims @vicsguitar
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it's been awhile
aubrey x reader
warnings: smut, aubreys strap game on 10, swearing
"i'ma ned you deeper than six, it's not a coffin"
sex with me (rihanna, 2006)
-
"aubrey, you've lost your rabbit ass mind if you think that is going inside of me."
laying in our bed, fully ready to have hot, sweaty, sex with my hot, sweaty, sexy girlfriend, i was thrown off when she pulled away from our kiss to ask me a question.
"you still want the strap baby?"
do i want the straaaaap????
the fuck kinda question is that??
"yes, please." i nodded my head.
the smile that grew on her perfect fucking face was doing things to me as usual, but when i saw her walk into that closet in nothing but her briefs?
BAM! pussy flooded.
but as i waited for her to get what she needed, my mind started running.
i haven't had anything but fingers since junior year of highschool.... im a senior in college.
how much do i need to prepare myself?
is she just gonna go for it or is she gonna make this easier for me?
but when i saw her walk out of that closet with the harness around her waist and the length of the strap the only thought i could form is...
HO IS U COO????
which brings us to my first statement.
"aubrey, you've lost your rabbit ass mind if you think that is going inside of me."
and this girl had the AUDACITY to giggle as my frustration. "you talk allat shit but can't take dick?"
"its been awhile bro, that shit's gonna hurt." i said sitting up on my elbows and fully looking at the length of her..... enhancement.
its big. not ridiculously big, but big enough to make me question why the fuck was i the one that suggested we do this.
suddenly, aubreys long-legged ass is stalking towards me and laying besides me, strapless.
when the fuck did she take it off?
her hands move a curl from my face, and her dark brown eyes lock with my even darker brown eyes.
"you really think i'd hurt you?" she spoke so softly, i remembered who i'm dating.
" i know you wouldn't."
"so why you scared?"
"i'm not scared... more nervous."
her soft lips meet mine for a second before she says "i got you."
and all i could do was nod because i knew she was telling the truth.
but she didn't get up.
she kissed me. deeply. slipping her tongue into my mouth and slipping her hand down the front of my body, leaving a trail of pure heat on her wake.
and i was wet, practically dripping as i unconsciously spread my legs for her. i was a mess, and it was honestly embarrassing.
everyone else knew me as aubrey's loud, smart mouth girlfriend, but when it was just us two? when aubrey and i were all over each other, the only thing i could think about was her mouth on mine, my mouth on hers, my everything on hers.
i must have been moaning too much because aubrey slid two of her fingers past my lips, silencing me as her teeth scraped my nipple.
but even with my mouth full of her slender digits, i sucked in a gasp when i felt her bare knee slid between my legs, relieve a fraction of the frustration that was building in my core. i dug my nails into her shoulder and tried my hardest not to bite her fingers off. i didn't hesitate to grind into her knee like a bitch in heat, trying to give aid to my aching clit. but it wasn't enough. i needed more. and i had no problem asking for it.
"more.." i whined but my demand was muffled by her fingers so after she removed them, i repeated myself. "more, aubrey-
i was cut off by my own moan when her perfect lips attached to my clit and sucked. my eyes rolled shut as i arched up into her, feeling my legs practically tremble when her tongue started circling my click with the speed that always drove me insane.
"fuck- yes, right there-" a plethora of loud moans left me when she sucked even harder. "oh my god, right there, please..."
aubrey hummed into me, vibratinf my core and managing to send me further to my peak.
and right when my legs tangled around her shoulders and my nails gripped the sheets for dear fucking life, she pulled away.
i squeezed the sheets even harder as panted. "aubrey," i eyed her as she licked her lips.
"yes, love?" she question as if everything as peaches and fucking cream.
"i wasn't do- where the fuck are you going?" i asked as she got up from the bed and walked away. but my question was answered as i watched her put the strap back on and climb on top of me.
i didn't have time to question anything because her lips crashed onto mine and my brain became foggy.
"if you need to pause, or stop just tell me. okay?" aubrey reassured me.
this is why i loved this hoe.
i nodded and she captured my lips in hers again.
i gasped and squeezed my eyes shut as i felt the tip push into my entrance, and at that moment i instantly understood why she didn't let cum earlier. i was soaked. so wet that i barely felt the friction as she slid into me. and i was so sensitive and desperate for a release that i couldn't even focus on the stinging feeling of being stretched out as she slowly pushed all the way in.
she was so deep. i felt so full. i don't remember it being like this. i wanted more. no, i needed more. i opened my eyes and met aubreys as she searched my face for and sign that i didn't want to continue.
i wish the fuck she would stop right now.
i wrapped my hand around the back of her neck and brought her down for a deep kiss to let her know that i was okay, and i wanted her to keeping going.
she started slow, letting me get used to the feeling. and trust that when i did, i couldn't get enough.
i grinded my hips to meet her strokes, even though we were in missionary. and aubrey quickly picked up on the fact that i was ready for the real thing because she untangled one of my legs from her waist and pushed my knee to my chest, hitting a spot that drove me fucking insane.
my eyes rolled shut as she picked up her pace and began drilling into me, her free hand meeting my clit. touching pieces of me that i forgot existed, digging her nails in my calf, sucking that spot on my neck.
as moans and whimpers poured from my lips, i felt like a mad woman. like i had to be going crazy. there was no way it was possible to feel this fucking good.
it all was becoming too much, too fast. i felt that knot in my stomach grow tighter and all i could to was scream, but when my mouth opened, nothing came out. my legs were trembling and my hand grasped at whatever they could as my back arched off the bed.
i heard aubrey talking me through it but she sounded like she was underwater. i was on another planet right now, riding my orgasm out.
i didn't come down until i felt aubrey pulling out of me, saw her tossing the strap to the side, and heard her whispering in my ear.
"you did so good for me."
i just laughed as i tried to find my breath.
"we are for sure doing that again."
niyah speaks ahem... heyy yalllll
taglist: @patscorner @riyahatnight @mattslolita @thaatdigitaldiary
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Idk what happens I just need more mutual break up smuts
i have gotten sm requests but i LOVE writing mutual break up n im workin on a playlist for them :(
breedin’ yer ex gf ain’t for the weak
You never knew schlatt wanted kids until now, when you had begrudgingly agreed to take care of your sister’s spawn causing your weekly “friend date” with Schlatt to get postponed to Sunday. Well, that’s what was supposed to happen, and what most men would prefer to happen.
Y’know, not take care of a snot nosed 5 year old on a Saturday when you could be calling other women, probably fucking.
But no, not Schlatt, instead Schlatt says he’ll help you out since his day was entirely free and he babysits with you!
Not to mention, he great with babysitting your niece/nephew, they love him, absolutely adore him and aren’t willing to let go of him, even for a second, unless its to use the bathroom or to get more snacks with you.
This is the most loving you’ve seen the kid act towards any man, especially a tall and scary one like Schlatt.
Schlatt is the sweetest you’ve ever seen him, tickling the kid, playing with the kid, watching movies with them, all around having a ball.
All three of you decide to go to the park, hopefully for your niece/nephew to burn off some energy so pick up time isn’t too hard.
Schlatt is having a ball chasing after the kid, making the kid giggle and squeal with joy. It was precious and with you in the mix, it looked like a happy family enjoying their saturday together.
Suddenly the kid asks Schlatt “when are you gonna give me a cousin, my mom said something about y/n being sick for babies or something” tugging on his shirt while pointing to you getting their water bottle from a backpack.
You call them over to give them some water and seeing you smile, sitting besides them, it makes Schlatt think
maybe having a kid or two would be nice…
You would make an amazing mother…
Schlatt would make a great father…
That silly train of thought is what led you here, once your niece/nephew had been picked up, underneath Schlatt in a mating press while you’re writhing and squirming underneath him as he pounds deeply into your wet and sloppy cunt.
“You wan’ me to make you a momma?” Schlatt asked you between sloppy kisses
“Yes! Yes please Schlatt!” you whine “make me a mommy!” you cry, making him smile while he continues to ruthlessly fuck into you.
Your legs are thrown over his shoulders like it’s nothing as he continues to pound harshly in and out of you without a care in the world.
He truly doesn’t care if the neighbors can hear, if the entire block can hear, he doesn’t care who can hear you. He’s just so focused on getting you pregnant, all cute and round with his baby.
his baby
No one else’s
Schlatt can’t resist thrusting harshly into you, feeling you tighten around him for the upteenth time that night.
“cum for me doll, cum for me pretty girl” he says purposefully looking for the spongy spot inside you, making you cum the second his fat tip presses into it.
Hearing the cry you let out for him has him cumming on the spot, making sure to get as deep as he possibly can inside you. Schlatt’s grinning, watching your eyes roll back as your face fills with bliss.
fuck, he’s gonna have fun breeding a baby into his ex girlfriend
#jschlatt x reader#schlatt x reader#jschlatt x you#jschlatt x y/n#schlatt x y/n#schlatt x you#jschlatt x reader smut#schlatt x reader smut#jschlatt smut#schlatt smut#jschlatt headcanons#jschlatt hcs#mbu!jschlatt
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hii, can I request something based on this
https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSL1YNSCU/?t=1
the reader is just mindlessly scrolling on her phone, and ellie is just a being little shit and annoying the reader cause she needs some ATTENTION ASAP !!!
it starts out as ellie peppers the reader with kisses innocently, and they accidentally (not rlly an accidentally 😭) ended up in bed cuddling while naked 🙈
anon this tiktok couple drives me insane im so jealous theyre so cute i literally think about blocking them sometimes. the highway looking like a real good sleeping space rn!
warning: nsfw+fluff. THIS CAME OUT. NOT THE WAY IT WAS SUPPOSED TO. THERES NO CUDDLING BECAUSE I LOST MY MIND WRITING THIS AND ELLIE IS KIND OF MEAN AT THE END :( IM SO SORRY NONNIE 🤍
this ones gotta be an actual hammer. theres no way in hell they could make a cake this accura-
fuck. how is everything fucking cake? if these yellow crocs arent actual wearable shoes, you were going to sue tiktok user 0087fakeorcake.
scroll
ugh, a slime video. your favorite. this one’s crunchy, too. and the color? a deep hypnotizing purple. it looked like a galaxy, far far away. you just went cross eyed.
“babe” ellies voice echoed through your shared apartment. a new one at that. the smell of fresh paint, new wooden furniture, and a pinch of familiarity. ellies punctured sock was laying on the floor like a modern piece of artwork at a funky museum, but were gonna ignore that for a second.
scroll
ooh! a kitten looking dapper with a bow tie! double tap.
“babe” she said, slightly raising the tone of her voice.
not now, ellie! you were just about to watch a target haul.
a small huff escaped her lips. how was she now jealous of an actual piece of metal squeezed between your hands. if you didnt look so cute concentrated, eyebrows furrowed while trying to read a conspiracy theory about the moon landing, she would have probably snatched your phone off of your hands by now.
she got slightly closer, and positioned herself between your legs. you didnt even acknowledge your sweet girl, too bothered reading stupid tiktok comments on a prank video.
“HAH!” you giggled, slightly sliding off the cream colored couch.
“you have to see this one, el” you exclaimed, voice filled with anticipation.
ellie hummed in response, and sat on the couch near you, manspreading as usual, slightly pushing you to the opposite direction with the spread of her knees. ellie didnt even want to see. she needed your attention now, or else shed die. quite literally die. a fish out of water.
she sighed dramatically, side eyeing you. if ellies facial expression had a name, it would be “notice me! notice me!!! im your dramatic girlfriend and you havent given me a kiss on the cheek for over 2 hours and i feel sick!!!”
“i dont wanna see” she said dryly, voice slightly raspy from the spliff she had smoked 10 minutes near the open window - “creep” by radiohead playing in her headphones. sometimes, ellie couldn't help but despise how deeply music affected her. she would get lost in the lyrics, immersing herself in the melancholic tones of the guitar. in moments like these, she felt as if she were the protagonist in a radiohead music video— broody, hunched, and consumed by a cloud of introspection.
you shoved the phone in her face, your eyes glued to the screen.
the title of the video flickered on the screen. “this is how dinosaurs sounded like… 🦕 part 1 💯”
the room was suddenly filled with the jarring sounds of screeching and growls. despite the cacophony, you smiled dumbly, looking forward to her reaction. i mean, its fucking dinosaurs.
“nice” ellie remarked in her trademark dry tone, laced with a hint of sarcasm.
that was so fucking cool, she thought. “can you show me the second part?” “actually, triceratops probably didnt roar like that… theyd make more cooing like sounds, y’know?” is what ellie would have said, if she weren’t so lost in her dramatic performance of her tony award winning play - “my gf is ignoring me therefore i must die immediately.”
“youre annoying” you said, ts’king and reverting your gaze back to the screen. you pressed save on the video. you knew her so well.
“m’not” she said, sighing dramatically. “you are.”
“fine” you mumbled under your breath. then, your attention quickly shifted. ooh! baby goats! you smiled brightly at the screen.
ellie stared at you. when she saw your stupid smile, she couldnt help but soften her gaze. why did you have to be so fucking cute, all hypnotized and shit. “youre so annoying” she whispered, and planted a small kiss on your cheek.
you couldn't help but giggle at the ticklish sensation of her plump lips against your skin. you were kind of over the doom scrolling now, but fuck- if seeing your girlfriend try to win your attention didn't seem tempting. you pressed "like".
she kissed your cheek again, small huffs of breath leaving her mouth as her lips met your skin. “annoying” she hummed playfully, and planted more delicate kisses all over your cheeks. her hand intertwined with yours, and she kissed it as well.
“mmhm” kiss. it tickled. “so” kiss. that one was wet. “annoying” kiss. her tongue was peaking out of her mouth. “and” kiss. her hand was on your thigh. “lame” kiss. that one was on your neck.
you attempted to stifle your smile, fighting the urge to toss the phone aside in a moment of playful frustration. however, your efforts were in vain as a giggle escaped your lips, unable to contain yourself.
“got your attention now?” she said smugly, continuously planting small kisses on your neck. although your eyes were still glues to the screen, ellie knew she won. so, so predictable.
“no.. theres- this… video now” you said, stuttering slightly. what video? god knows.
“yeah…” she murmured, her voice husky and brimming with satisfaction. “m’sure youre watching” she kissed your ear, making you let out a small whimper. “has to be a good one, got you all giddy like that” so smug.
suddenly, she ended the cascade of kisses, and pulled away. you pouted. “should i turn the AC on? you look kinda hot” yeah, she knew you were flustered now. funny, she thought. after all this time together, you still couldn’t help but flush whenever she got near.
“m’fine” you murmured. you were not.
“no i think…” she straddled you, her voice now a seductive whisper in your ear. “you feel really hot” she murmured, her warm breath sending shivers down your spine. “sure you dont have a fever?” she teased. “poor thing”
“no…” you giggled nervously, still scrolling, ignoring every single video on your feed. you were literally just moving your finger now, for no purpose at all. ellie chuckled.
“think we need to get this off of you” she suggested, her hand gradually inching up under your shirt, lightly tracing circles on your stomach.
“dont want you to get a heat stroke” she teased. her skillful hand gradually removing the fabric from your warm body. it tangled with your phone. ellie couldnt help but let out a small laugh.
she couldve taken the phone off your hand and you wouldnt have resisted. but this… was so, so much more fun.
her hungry eyes roamed over the sight of your exposed bra, appreciating the beauty before her. with a gentle touch, she cupped your breasts, a soft grunt escaping her lips. "oof, babe... tits feel kinda hot too," she whispered into your ear, her warm breath sending tingles down your spine.
you couldn't help but giggle in between short, desperate breaths. “yeah?" you teased, still scrolling through another video on your phone, purposely avoiding eye contact with the girl straddling you.
"mhmm," she hummed approvingly, unclasping your bra. as the cold air brushed against your skin, causing goosebumps to rise, she couldn't help but feel a wave of hunger wash over her. the sight before her made her mouth nearly water, and yet, you remained engrossed in that damn phone.
ellie was pissed. she let out a small, frustrated whimper. she wasnt going to touch you until you threw that phone across the room. ball was in your court.
she crawled off of you. she planned on giving you a damn show. “m’kinda hot now too…” she murmured, feigning discomfort. “fuck- this apartment is like, scorching hot.” it was mid-december. the new apartment was… morgue-like cold sometimes.
she threw her shirt off to the back of the room.
your phone was invisible to you now. her toned stomach, muscled arms came into full view, leaving you breathless. fuck, she really was a fucking sight.
her eyes flickered over to you, a self-assured, cocky glint dancing within them. she let out a huff, her lips curling into a triumphant smile. she had you right where she wanted you.
“didnt you have a video you needed to watch…?” she teased. “looked super important” she continued, smirking. you didnt respond, almost hypnotized by the sight in front of you. ugh, ellie.
“dont look at me, look at the screen” she playfully teased once more. her voice carried a hint of seductive taunting. as if to further entice you, she flexed her muscles, the tantalizing display meant to captivate your gaze. she was a master of the tease, and she knew exactly how to make your attention sway in her direction.
she crawled back to you. “go look at your dumb vlogs” she whispered into your ear, causing a shiver to run down your spine. your eyes rolled back in response to her words. "keep going," she commanded with a smirk, claiming your compliance. as a final tease, she planted a tantalizing kiss on your neck, sucking the skin. she made sure you felt her wet tongue, felt what you were missing. your breaths were becoming raggedy now.
ellie continued her crawl, moving further down your body. “just like that” she murmured when you bucked your hips forward. her needy, needy girl. her fingers skillfully unbuttoned your jeans, swiftly removing them along with your panties in one smooth motion. the cool air caressed your bare skin, causing you to flinch.
a small whimper escaped your lips.
“what…?” she cooed, planting soft, wet kisses on your exposed thighs, looking at you with a hungry gaze.
did you really think she was going to give it to you, after youve ignored her for so fucking long? ellie rolled her eyes, and broke the string of kisses. you stared at her, and fuck, she couldnt have looked more cocky.
she got on her knees, not breaking eye contact. she looked so fucking mean.
“no” she exclaimed, as if she could read your mind. she knew exactly what you wanted.
she took off her boxers in one swift motion and threw them.
at your face.
“get that fucking phone to fuck you.”
#ellie williams#ellie x reader#ellie williams fluff#ellie williams smut#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams x you#ellie williams fanfiction#ellie williams blurb
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IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?!♥︎ megumi f. x reader
Ꮺ in which meeting megumi fushiguro was a complete, but sweet, sweet chaos . . .
cw: angsty af, mentions of intimacy, use of alcohol if u squint
NOW PLAYING! 💿 cherry waves - deftones
<𝟑.𖥔 ݁ ˖
dear megumi:
sometimes i wish i could tear apart this heart of mine, that’s apparently too big for my body. i wish i could just shut down everything you were and are for me. i wish i could turn off everything you light up in me. ever since the beginning…
[ ♥︎ ]
“so you’re fushiguro… yuuji talks a lot about you.” i looked at him, finally getting to meet my best friend’s best friend… wow. “just call him megumi, y’all are basically indirect friends at this point.” yuuji laughed, which i followed, looking at the raven haired boy for his approval.
“call me what you like.” megumi responded nonchalantly.
[ ♥︎ ]
i’ve been wondering nonstop what the fuck i did wrong. did i not deserve you? wasn’t i good enough? all those times i dropped everything just to run after you, all those times i promised you the whole world… weren’t they enough? weren’t you tired? of having me chase you around all day? did it bore you? having someone care so deeply about you, but not feeling the same about them?
i don’t think you can even imagine how it feels… cause, fuck.. has anyone ever said ‘no’ to you? have you ever wanted to pursue something that doesn't want you until it suffocates?
it hurts. it really fucking hurts.
[ ♥︎ ]
“are you at the party yet?” megumi asked through his phone, reaching my ear. “yeaaahhhh, im kinda drunk to be honest hahaha… but it’s real fun in here! you should come… pleeeaaasee.” there were a few seconds of silence until megumi broke it, shoting straight to my heart in the process.
“i don’t know how the fuck i’ll get there… but i will get there.” he hung up, leaving me excitedly waiting for him as i told all of our friends he was attending.
[ ♥︎ ]
that one night you kissed me, did i mean anything to you? cause at that very moment, to me, you were the whole world. my whole world. that one night i ended up tangled in your sheets. was i just another one on the list? cause to me, it was the very first time i felt cared about. you showed me the love i never thought i’d deserve.
could i even call it love?
i think you’d just call it lust.
[ ♥︎ ]
“how is yuuji going to find out about this?” i asked megumi as i ruffled his bed hair. “i think we should just tell him… but not now.” he answered as he scanned every detail on my face.
[ ♥︎ ]
i wish i knew what you meant by that. all the while i wanted to keep you as a promise, you just wanted to keep me as a secret. i wish nothing had ever happened, not because i regret it, nor did i not love it for a moment, but because i don't want to feel like this anymore. not with you.
i tried. i tried to be your friend. leave everything behind and continue as if nothing had happened. but the mere idea of thinking that I was never for you what you were for me is enough to make my heart ache.
maybe we live in a world full of superficialities, empty, where everything is momentary pleasures, satisfyingly chaotic, and pleasantly disposable. i never want to fall like this again. i don't want to dream so high again. i don't want to be so naive again.
but i can’t help it when it’s you.
[ ♥︎ ]
“i’m not ready for anything, with anyone…” he sated as tears started rolling down my face. why? why’d you give me a taste of some love you couldn’t give me? or didn’t want to give me…
[ ♥︎ ]
weeks passed, and i started to accept the fact that it was not gonna happen. i started seeing someone else.
maybe you didn’t want to have me, but you definitely didn’t want to lose me…
[ ♥︎ ]
“you coming y/n? we gonna go grab ice cream or sum.” yuuji asked turning back to look at me. i couldn’t tear my gaze away from my phone, but i didn’t fail to notice how megumi looked at me.
“uhmm actually, go ahead without me guys! i’ll hang out with yuta later…” i commented as i blushed lightly. “OOOOOO Y/N’s GOT A DATEEE” yuuji joked.
megumi didn’t say a word until i left.
[ ♥︎ ]
next day, everything changed. that kiss you stole from me… i wish i could have it back.
you told me you were ready, that you wanted this. that you wanted me.
you made fall all over again. but deeper this time. you tricked me into your game once again. i mistook your lies for a future, with sins and sweet promises.
friday. i wanted to confront you about it.
and you tore it all apart. again.
i am so fucking greedy, and i don't want to let something i love die, even though i know i will never have it.
i’d fucking love to be your friend. i’d fucking love to pretend that it doesn't burn my skin to want to hug you and not be able to do so. i’d love not to want to know everything about you.
i wish i didn’t want to be your whole world.
i don't know why you hurt this much. i barely know you, and yet, i can't imagine a life without you. i have never had the courage to face what i truly feel. cause it's too soon, cause it would only complicate everything, or just because you don't want to hear it.
but i love you, megumi.
i wish it wasn’t like that. none of this.
yours truly.
y/n
a/n: i wish i could lie to y’all and say this wasn’t based on a personal experience but haha guess what…
AND SORRY FOR THE ANGST I LITERALLY CANNOT WRITE HAPPY SHIT WTF
LIKES, COMMENTS & REBLOGS are very much appreciated ♪( ´θ`)ノtysm for reading !! <3
#megumi x reader#jjk megumi#fushiguro megumi#jjk fanfic#jjk imagines#jjk x reader#jjk#megumi fushiguro#megumi x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen angst#jjk angst#angst#anime x reader#anime oneshot#one shot#yuta okkotsu#yuta x reader#gojo x reader#geto x reader#yuuji x reader#toji x reader#fushiguro x reader
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beneath the mask ✩ chapter 12 ⬅ch.11
➠𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈; 𝟏𝟖+ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓; 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 ➠SIMON "GHOST" RILEY X AFAB!READER ➠CHAPTER TAGS | wc 3.5k ➠AUTHOR'S NOTE | i am sooooooooo sorry if this seems ooc for ghost. i wanted to write him acting more empathetic while also maintaining his cold demeanor. i think some people tend to write him one way or the other and so i tried to balance it a bit more to be realistic. but if this felt ooc for ghost im so sorry!! feedback is appreciated so i can improve upcoming chapters! <3
𝐛𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ✩ 𝐜𝐨𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ✩ 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
the startling realization that you were sleeping in simon’s room is what woke you up that following morning. you sat up in his bed, the covers falling away from your chest, and you noticed he was gone. it was strange how this was the second time you shared a bed—completely platonically—with him and he was m.i.a. come morning.
you tried not to think too deeply about it, not wanting to get your feelings hurt even more than they already were. you were able to put what had happened between the two of you in the back of your mind yesterday, squishing down his words that hurt you so badly.
you looked good in your dress. that’s all. m’sorry.
but that was yesterday. that was when he was the first face you saw after thinking you were about to be tortured. the face that rescued you. that was when he carried you back to base, his arms around you like a safety blanket. when he was the sense of security you desperately needed. when you felt like you needed him.
this morning, your mind was far clearer. you even realized how stupid you were to let simon be that person for you when johnny was right there.
you scurried from his room, still draped in his shirt, and made it back to your own. you told yourself you would visit the infirmary today, not for work, but to get yourself checked out. you weren’t hurt too badly, nothing that couldn’t heal with a little time. but still, you should really get checked over. and you were sure laswell or price would want to have a word with you about everything that happened.
before you even managed to shift through your thoughts, johnny was at your door.
“how’re ya feelin’?”
you grabbed your toiletries bag and spun to face to scot. “i’m okay.”
he gave you a once over. “are you sure?” he said a bit softer.
you gave him a gentle smile. “don’t worry, i’m just going to shower. then straight to the infirmary to get checked out.” you gave him a mock salute.
johnny shook his head as he followed you out your door and down the hall towards the showers. “no, not that.” you glanced at him. “well, no, of course i wanted to make sure you were gonna be seen by a medic, but i was referring to the… psychological side of things.”
you laughed at his phrasing. “i’ll be okay, johnny. seriously. i mean, i know what happened terrified me and hasn’t left my thoughts since, but i could be a lot worse.” you were trying to make light of the situation. and while johnny understood that all too well, he still wasn’t convinced you were truly back to normal just a day after your kidnapping.
you were taken a bit back. for once, soap didn’t seem to appreciate your humor. “and with ghost?”
you almost dropped your bag, stumbling in your steps. “w-what about him?”
“i saw him carrying you into base. the way ya clung to him. i just want t’make sure you’re okay.” his eyes trailed the shirt you were wearing—'swimming in' was more accurate—knowing it wasn't yours, but ghost's.
you sighed before spinning to face him. you wanted to make this very clear to soap: “he was the first person i saw. he was the one i saw close on my tail when i was trapped in that truck. he was the face who barged into that room after slaughtering men, pulling me out of that hole. i think i was just overwhelmed and felt like i needed him . y’know… a safety thing. but that has passed. i’m fine. fine .” soap raised a brow, not quite believing you. “nothing happened,” you said a bit bashful, noticing the way soap was staring at you like he thought more had gone down last night, and wearing ghost's shirt sure wasn't helping. “he just kept me company so i could fall asleep without thinking about…” your words trailed off. “point is, i appreciate you looking out for me, but i’m okay. i won’t let him…” a beat of silence passed as you looked for the words. “i won’t read things wrong again.” the sentence was a struggle to get out; like ash on your tongue.
you could see the concern on johnny’s face, so before he could protest and pry more, you slipped into the women’s showers so he couldn’t follow.
after showering and visiting the infirmary—-yes, you have been cleared—-you were making your way to price’s office. you assumed laswell would be there as well.
you adjusted your black shirt as you strolled the halls, careful to not move in any way that would hurt your sore ribs. you walked past the gym, peeking in to see if you could spot gaz, surprised he hadn’t come to see you yet, and you almost choked on your spit.
you spotted simon—- ghost—- across the room in workout gear, addressing a new recruit. you hadn’t recognized her but you knew there were new recruits coming in this week so you assumed her to be one of them.
you tried to pull your eyes away, but they were latched on to the tall brute and the shorter woman beside him. ghost hunched over slightly as he spoke to her and you saw her smile. her hand reached out and touched his arm softly and you felt your fists clench.
ghost wasn’t yours .
he was barely even your friend. he could flirt with whoever he wanted. it shouldn’t matter to you. and you knew you were overreacting. who's to say they were flirting? you hadn’t known ghost to be the best charmer, so why would he all of a sudden be cozying up to a woman he only just met?
soap’s words popped into your head: come to think of it. i don’t think i’ve known ghost to have hooked up with anyone since i’ve met the bastard.
all these rational thoughts and yet you ignored them. all you felt was a pang in your gut as you watched him instruct her, testing her skills, his hand lingering on her hip a bit too long. his eyes locked on hers.
you didn’t feel any tears welling—so that was an improvement—all you felt was disappointment. ghost was emotionally unavailable. he also explicitly said he didn’t want you. this fantasy you had of him in your head was purely that: a fantasy.
you had thought maybe he felt differently with the way his eyes traced your curves last night in the light of the bathroom. that maybe him letting you see him with his mask off was him letting you in. that he wanted to form some sort of relationship with you even if it was foreign to him.
but all of those thoughts went out the door. there were so many reasons why it would never work between the two of you. seeing him with that woman wasn’t what made you feel that way. all it did was remind you of the reality of your situation.
you sulked into price’s office, the smell of cigars filling your nose.
price’s warm greeting, his gentle smile, and his all-over fatherly presence set you back at ease.
when laswell entered, her soothing hand on your shoulder reminded you that you could live so fucking easily without ghost. you had a family here. and while you had hoped to let ghost become one of those people to you, it wasn’t the end of the world by any means if he didn’t.
a week had passed and you had resorted to pretending like anything private that ever happened between you and ghost had never occurred. you weren’t going to sulk over him any longer. you thought he was attractive. that was it. you hooked up once and it didn’t work out. you were an adult, you could move on.
you laughed animatedly at soap, grabbing his arm in your fit. ghost spotted you across the training room, your laughter floating over into his space, pissing him off.
he expected you to have wanted to talk to him after that night in his room. but you never did. you never sought him out. never came by to let him know everything at the infirmary checked out okay. granted, he never came after you either.
he got up when he saw you leaving and followed you out the door.
“iaso,” he called.
you stopped and spun to face him, smiling. “what’s up, lt.?”
ghost was a bit taken aback by your friendly demeanor. not that you weren’t a friendly person, but you were acting oddly like nothing ever happened. like ghost hadn’t pulled you into his arms a week ago, his chest pounding and his arms shaking as he held you.
“jus’ wanted to see if you were okay,” he said dumbly.
“all good. don’t worry, i’ve been cleared to be back to work.” you smiled then turned and walked away.
ghost had never been left so dumbfounded before. he cracked his knuckles in annoyance.
you seemed to be ignoring him.
whenever ghost entered a room you were in, you’d leave. he saw you linking arms with soap as you walked the halls, never meeting ghost’s eyes. he knew soap was visiting you in the infirmary on your breaks and he always seemed awkward when it came up between them. you even managed to get out of a poker session where ghost was present. you had stood up the second he walked into that room, calling it a night and tossing your cards in the middle of the table.
“she’s ignoring me,” ghost huffed as he shuffled through the dossiers on his desk. he was acting like he had any claim over you. like he had a right to your friendship.
“who?” soap asked. ghost looked up and glared at his friend. “i think you give yourself too much credit. she’s not ignoring you, lt. she’s just accepted your rejection and moved on with her life.”
“i didn’t reject her.”
soap rolled his eyes. “you really wanna go down that road?”
ghost mumbled in annoyance as he stared at the words on the paper before him.
“didn’t think you’d care, if i’m being honest.”
ghost glared at soap, waiting for him to elaborate since he clearly wanted to further this conversation.
“ her opinion of you ,” soap clarified. “you made it pretty clear you wanted nothing from her, so i just assumed that meant you wouldn’t be bothered by her ignoring you n’all.”
ghost tapped his pen on his desk. “so she is ignoring me, then.”
“i didn’t say that.”
ghost knew he couldn’t fight logistics with soap, with soap being… soap and all. “we have actual shit t’go over. important intel before we depart friday.”
soap slipped into the chair in front of ghost’s desk. “you started it.”
“i didn’t—- bloody hell ,” he grumbled rubbing his hand over his face. soap tried to hold back his smirk.
“y’know she’s coming with us,” soap said, referencing the mission soon to happen in the coming days based on the information the men had acquired from valeria.
“well aware,” ghost said flatly.
the idea of you being forced to be in ghost’s proximity tomorrow, knowing you couldn’t avoid it like you had been, made his chest swell slightly. he didn’t want to admit this to himself, but he wanted you to want him. desperately . and hearing soap talk about you, always seeing the two of you together, ghost felt like he was pushing you straight into his friend’s arms.
he should have been okay with that. whether he found you attractive or not, he shouldn’t have felt jealous when he saw you with soap. he’s found plenty of women attractive, and plenty of them were involved with someone else. that usually didn’t bother ghost at all. he was fine admiring pretty ladies knowing they would never be his. he didn’t want them to be his. so this resentment he was feeling towards soap was new to him.
he unclenched his fist.
“jus’ wanna make sure you’re gonna behave yourself,” soap chimed.
“christ, johnny. i’m not—”
soap cut him off. “i’m serious, lt. i know i don’t have this kind of authority, but she doesn’t deserve whatever it is that's going on inside your twisted head.” soap gestured widely at ghost, implying he was all sorts of messed up. “i’d die protecting her. and if it means i’d have to die in your clutches, then so be it.”
ghost refrained from rolling his eyes and soap’s dramatics. though, he did admire soap’s loyalty.
shifting the conversation away from you, ghost debriefed soap on prep for the coming mission, letting him know— almost —everything planned.
it was late when ghost spotted you. you didn’t see him as he stalked you around the bend of the hallway.
finally, you were alone. not linking arms with soap or laughing with gaz. you were alone as you walked through the halls of the barracks. if you had known ghost would have spotted you, you would have likely stayed in your room. but you had no idea the masked man was trailing behind you.
ghost hadn't been planning on talking to you, irate by the way you’ve been ignoring him, but when he saw you, his feet moved on their own accord. the hall lights flickered, creating an ominous glow. he surmised you were heading back to the infirmary even though he knew your shift was already over. maybe you forgot something?
and then one of ghost’s steps was a tad too loud because you looked over your shoulder and he watched as your eyes widened momentarily. you scrunched up your nose and faced forward, your pace increasing. “are you following me?”
“this is my quarters jus’ as much as it is yours,” he grunted.
you rolled your eyes. “well… it's plenty big enough. you could always go a different way.”
“still not talkin’ to me, then?”
you could sense him catching up and it made the hackles on your neck rise. “what’re you—”
“i know you’ve been ignoring me. don’t try t’lie your way outta this.”
you turned around and began to walk backward so you could face him when you spoke. “i’m not really in the mood to have this conversation right now.” you crossed your arms over your chest.
“well, good thing i wasn’t askin’.”
your mouth parted in surprise at his bluntness. you quickly spun on your heels, not wanting the emotions you had been shoving down for the past week to come back up. if you could just avoid him a little longer, you’d be able to move on. if he would only just—
in your nerves, you reached a dead end of one of the many barren halls. you were going to turn and scurry past him, not even wanting to grab your bag you left in the infirmary any longer, you just wanted to get away from him. but before you had the chance, ghost’s arms were on either side of your head, hands flat against the wall, caging you into his chest. your back was to him and your only view was the blank drywall. the corner he had you trapped in was dark and you figured even if you did spin to face the beast behind you, you wouldn’t be able to make much of him out. you hated that a swirl of arousal filled your stomach remembering him being this close to you in that tiny closet he shoved the two of you into all those weeks ago.
“ghost, i don’t wanna—”
“ simon ,” he said a little aggressively.
you gulped, his words grazing the edge of your neck as he spoke. you were quiet as you waited for him to say more. “you sure you’re ready to go back out on location?” he asked, referring to the upcoming mission you were going to be a part of.
“is that it? you’re worried i’m broken or some shit like that?” your words screamed irritation, but your voice sounded more hurt than angry. “that i don’t know my own limits and can’t decide when i’m good to be back? that i’ll slow you down? i told you i was cleared!” you knew you were inferring a lot from his one little sentence, but you wanted to be mad. to be angry at him.
“i didn’t say that.”
“no. but it’s what you meant.”
you heard ghost sigh and his hands dropped down to his side. you felt the warmth of his chest still behind you so you didn’t dare move to look at him.
“i know what it’s like t’lose everyone you love,” he started.
“what does that have to do with any—-?”
“would you jus’ shut up for one second n’ listen for once?”
you swallowed hard and nodded your head. he let out a breath. he knew he had snapped at you, but this was difficult for him. he wanted to get this out before he second-guessed himself and let you walk away forever.
“i lost my entire family to men a lot more evil than me. did everythin’ in my power to get revenge. so i know what it’s like to love and t’lose.”
“did it help?” you asked softly. “revenge?”
you could hear the tension in ghost’s words as he mumbled them behind you. the only reason he was able to answer this question was due to the fact that you were turned away from him. if you two had been looking into each other’s eyes… he didn’t think he’d have to ability to open up. “depends how ya look at it. that kind’a dedication to death—never stoppin’ till you feel blood on your hands—takes a toll on ya. i think it’s what made me so… unbearable. but the general doesn’t seem t’think so. made me a stronger soldier in shepherd’s eyes.”
you felt your breath waver as you listened.
“i wouldn’t have jus’ killed for them, i woulda died. it was years ago now that i was captured on duty. was tortured. buried alive. locked up. abused.” simon cleared his throat. “think it made me unwillin’ to let people in , as you would word it. i don’t know if i could survive another loss like that, like when i lost my mother and brother. s’not a feelin’ i ever plan on livin’ through again.”
“simon…”
“and you, ” he said a bit more potently. “you have been messin’ everythin’ up. when you n’ laswell were taken… it felt like when i saw my brother and his wife dead on their living room floor. the only thing i saw was red. i woulda done anything t’get you back. i couldn’t let this happen again. i couldn’t fail the people i cared about again.”
it pained you to know that simon placed all the blame on anything bad happening to those around him on himself. “laswell, too?” you said, but more as a question. you were purposefully trying to avoid the romantic ideation behind his words.
“no,” he said immediately, without a second thought. “course i wanted her back. but it didn’t feel the same as the way i wanted you.”
i wanted you . those words made your chest tighten.
“why are you telling me all this?” you finally asked after a lull.
“i jus’ wanted you t’know that i don’t mean t’hurt you. that maybe i needa try harder. and that… i’m sorry.”
you felt a single tear escape and slide down your cheek. you took a moment to steady your breathing, trying to reel in all of simon’s words.
when you spun to face him, unsure of what you’d find in his expression, you gasped. he was gone. you didn’t even hear him as he took off down the hall with your back still to him.
eventually, walking alone back to your room, you let the tears fall freely. you cried for simon’s past. for his losses. for your own losses. for the strange sense of love you felt radiating off of him as he told you he’d move the world just to get you back safely. for the stupid feelings you had brewing in your chest. for the way you couldn’t decide if you wanted him to wrap his arms around you or if you wanted to hold him as he told you more.
simon felt like he couldn’t let someone else in. that he wouldn’t survive it. but you wouldn’t leave him if he did. and you needed to tell him that. you needed to show him that he might be a bit broken, lost from his path, but you’d help him find the light again, as cheesy as that sounded. you would show him how beautiful it was to love even after losing so much. that it was possible. he deserved to be loved. he deserved to be happy. he wasn’t some emotionless robot, no matter what the army thought of him. and you wanted to help him realize that.
chapter 13 ➡
#ghost#simon riley#smut#ghost cod#ghost x reader#ghost mw2#ghost smut#simon riley smut#cod#ghost fanfic#simon riley fanfic#ghost call of duty#ghost angst#cod mw2#cod fic#call of duty fanfic#mw2 fanfic#beneath the mask
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OMFG DUDE I was thinking abt coves dick again (as one does 🤭) and just realized w the dick size math that cove prolly bought normal condoms before yall went ‘all the way’ bc he didn’t kno he was huge (like u said in that one ramble like “move ur arm” “that’s not my arm”)
so when yall actually get into it and he tries to put it on u just have an awkward moment where he’s like
“it’s too small🧍♂️”
and now he’s apologizing for ��ruining’ ur ‘real’ first time together and ur torn between comforting him that he didn’t ruin shit and laughing bc usually when guys say that it’s a fucking lie but he’s actually so deadass and u can see it the way the rubber doesn’t even accommodate his tip 😭💀
then u gotta tell him it’s okay to hold off until yall get bigger condoms or ur okay going raw if he is 🤭🤭🤭
-🗑️
ARGHH YOU ARE NOT HELPING MY ACCIDENTAL CREAMPIE BRAINROT. "the way the rubber doesnt even accommodate his tip" ohhh god biting my lips off my face rn. i can't fucking....
he would be too scared to go raw, especially first time. he knows that's a demon he's not ready to face (if you ask, he'll say he worried about any accidental children. but deep, deep in his mind. he knows something will, and does, click when you do it raw and he cums in you the first time...)
mmm, there's a few different ways to go with this...
because I can see cove waiting, im sure he does. he does wait, he wants things to be perfect (as perfect as 2 virgins fucking for the first time can be) and for you guys to avoid any unwanted scares or accidents.
but I also love the thought of him being impatient..
he buys the "right" condoms the second time around, and it doesn't look exactly right... but it's definitely not as small as last time...
decides to go with it after a bit of inner turmoil... "..maybe it's meant to fit that way? I thought it was supposed to go all the way to the base, though. its a bit tight, too... fuck, it'd be way too embarrassing to get the size wrong again. not that y/n would bully me about it or something, but... argh, I really want this to be perfect too. and I wanna go all the way with her..."
or even if he buys the right size, perhaps doesn't realize, or chooses the thin condoms since that's what was left. doesn't realize how different the thin ones are, especially of they're the ultra thin.
eitherway, all~~ circles back to right now. he's sinked into you, and he is gentle, he wants your first time to be romantic after all. but as he gets closer n closer to the edge, he gets a bit excited, his hips thrusting deeply into you.. all he can think about is how much he loves you, your pretty sounds, your body pressed against his, and the tight heat of your cunt.
doesn't realize when it breaks, not really anyway. gasps and moans because fuck you feel so hot inside, so wet and perfect... too far gone to think about the sudden change in sensation. and when he finishes, he definitely doesn't think about it. too lost in the feeling of his cum filling up the "condom" and your walls tightening around him as you finish too.
also love the thought that regardless of if he buys the right size or the thin, or if he remembers to pinch the tip of the rubber, all that sweet stuff.. he still ends up cumming inside you. not noticing if he teared the rubber in his hurry to be inside you already (blame teenage hormones, it's not his fault yeah 🙏)
of course not blowing his full load inside you, but i like to think that he cums so much, its really a miracle he doesn't break the rubbers from that amount alone... either way it's gonna leak out, n even just that little bit..
but regardless of how it happens, once he gets past the initial stress of it all n you get past the scare. his mind is totally filled with thoughts of actually coming inside you..
n even his dreams are filled with the image of your cunt all twitchy and wet with fluids n a bit puffy from all the fucking, n having earlier ate you out in the dream, n his fat load of cum leaking out of your cunt...
can't look you in the eye. he's totally ruined... probably can't look his parents in the eye either since he promised to be responsible, but now he's dreaming and fantasizing of doing otherwise..
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WE CANT BE FRIENDS | 16. BUT ID LIKE TO JUST PRETEND
(written)
prev | next
warning: im gonna pretend we're in korea for this chapter so jaehyun can drink LOLSIES, i also know barely anything about drinking so if its not accurate OOPS #20y/owhocantdrinkstrugglesbcshesscaredofthelaw
mstl
taglist @lilriswife4life @cherrytaesan @tubatu-lovie @woonsbot @guiltysungho @taylorluvation @kage-yaa @lionhanie @dearly-somber @nicholasluvbot @nujeskz @unhakki @lblossom21 @crispy-kirby @seunghancore @nctrawberries @i03jae @icewons @miidorei @hanbinniesmango @helpsplease @dongminz
ps: it doesnt get better from here until wayyy after ;-)
(a few minutes ago) EPISODE 5
"what are we even supposed to do?" jaehyun said as he took another shot. "i uh have to ask you questions" woonhak explained as he repositioned the camera up to face jaehyun. jaehyun hummed as he took another shot "are you okay? you took like 10 shots since we got here and i haven't even started recording yet" woonhak looked up from the camera concerned. "pfft what do you know about drinking" jaehyun laughed looking at woonhak, woonhak scoffed "not much, but i know this relates back to yn". the older one looked away "just record or something i don't know..."
"now we have myung jaehyun. i'll ask you questions and you can answer away from yn. i assure you she won't see this footage...well unless she watches this but that's beside the point." woonhak adjusted the camera a bit. "so i CAN answer the question? i have a choice?" jaehyun asked rather tipsy. "no sorry, you WILL answer these."
"what are your opinions on L/N Y/N?"
jaehyun took another shot before answering. "Yn? she's...I MISS HER" he suddenly erupted into tears taking back woonhak but content is content...
"i cant live without her i dont know how i haven't died yet during these 2 years. shes all i constantly think about, when i go to the store, i think about her, when i sleep, i think about her, when I'm even in my fucking office i think about her and that was the main thing that drove me away from her." he sobbed into his hands. woonhak giggled a bit at the sight and zoomed into jaehyun crying. "I'm gonna have to put a 'her' count in here..."
"I thought you ended things because of music, your job?"
"FUCK THE JOB! i'm done, i'll take it all back and work at fucking wendys if it means i can stay with her. my music career is a flop! YOU know" jaehyun pointed at woonhak to which he nods "THEY know" he pointed at the camera "SHE knows" he points at his heart "I just cant take not being around her anymore. we don't have to be friends we don't have to date again I just want her back in my life completely without messing everything up. i'd literally argue with her for the rest of my life even if it hurts me rather than never talk to her at all and it hurts because she makes it look so simple, not missing me, not talking to me. but it's fair enough isn't it? if i had just shut my mouth for that one day i would've realized that music doesn't compare to her, but why'd i have to realize so late?"
"do you still think about her?"
"of course i do" he cried even more, woonhak was pretty sure jaehyuns drink was more tears than alcohol now "you know..." jaehyun giggled for a second 'the roman empire? how its like a joke that all guys think of it often, she, y/n are you watching this?" jaehyun gets close to the camera, his nose touching the lens, too drunk to realize anything. "yn, you're my roman empire, there's not a second i don't think about you. i wake up , its you, i go to sleep, its you, i eat, its you, hell i could strip right now and dance-“ “that's enough" woonhak stops him. "i just wonder why you think so deeply about her, shes just a girl-" jaehyun cuts woonhaks words offended "DONT. shes not just some random girl, shes yn. the first person who understood me, the first person i felt comfortable with, the first person to support my music career, and i just, let her go. for the same music career i left her for. clearly, you've never been in love or never been in love and lost that same person due to your dumb actions..."
"then why were you acting so cold to her today?"
"fuck, woonhak. its all a persona, i'm trying to convince myself I'm over her, but clearly, it's not working, at all. even today i used all the force in me not to fold and when i complained about it on my twitter this random sea jae something account commented...but i remember she did comment under my comment saying "its not like me and her will get together" with a "haha" like what does that mean...is it a sign from the universe?" jaehyun looked over at woonhak with a sad smile trying to convince himself he's not that effected by you despite going on a 30 minute rant about you. woonhak laughed a bit. jaehyun looked down at his shot glass and stared.
"do you think she misses me...like ever?" he turned again to woonhak who stared at jaehyun in pity. "she-" woonhak paused and shook his head "directors shouldn't get involved" jaehyuns body shot over to face woonhak "YOUR NOT A DIRECTOR YOUR A 17 YEAR OLD BOY" "18 in Korea" woonhak added "I DONT CARE, YOUR A 17 OR 18 BOY WHO IS FAILING HIS FILM MAKING CLASS WITH A NEGATIVE NUMBER. WHAT DOES SHE SAY ABOUT ME."
"fine, i'll show you." woonhak logs into his phone and text you to help him out. "oops, phone died" jaehyun groaned and face planted into the table.
(NOW)
you texted woonhak that you were outside and you saw him drag jaehyun out. "damn he's out." taesan said from your backseat. you hum in agreement. woonhak approaches the car and opens the back seat to throw jaehyun in until taesan stops him "put jaehyun in the passenger seat" "but you're back here-"
"woonhak. put. jaehyun. in. the. damn. front. seat."
woonhak placed jaehyun in the front seat and got in the back.
jaehyun turned his head to you as you were driving
"yn?" he asked softly "yeah?" "do you ever miss me?"
you dont reply, looking in your rear view mirror you see woonhak and taesan sleeping. sighing you turn back to jaehyun when you stop at a red light, he looked at you with soft doe eyes that could break any minute. but you couldn't help but admire his features shining in the red light, you hadn't got a good look at him until now and damn, he was still so...
BEEP
right. "back then yeah" you lied, or maybe not, who cares
"i still miss you, a lot. Every day i wake up and my heart aches for you, only to see an empty cold space in the spot next to me. i know, i know everyone tells me and i got the signal from you, i know I'm stupid for ending a relationship over music, SoundCloud especially but i don't want to move on. if i put on earth with one other girl and her only i wouldn't even speak to her, i'd make a stick doll and name it after you, talk to it every day, because yn, you're the only person I've ever needed and i hate that i lost the one person who kept me going, that i still dream of, that i can't move on from, i just wish i didn't let you go at all.
do you...still think we'd be together if i hadn't ruined us?"
you pause staring at the gearstick "maybe in another life" you replied lowly afraid your voice would crack. you blink back tears refusing to even look at him. you hear him catch his breath and realize he's crying "i just wish it could be this life. i want it to be this life, yn, I'll do anything for it to be this life please. let me back in your life."
"jaehyun no, you're drunk"
"drunk words are sober thoughts"
taesan said from the backseat still with his eyes closed. you realize both woonhak and taesan have been faking sleeping the entire time.
"get out" you said. taesan opened his eyes and realized yall were in front of his and jaehyuns house. OH RIGHT, thanks yn" you hum as you watch taesan help jaehyun out. "take care" you said to both of them, before jaehyun gets through the door he turns back at you and smiles softly
"ugh i shouldve recorded that"
oh.
you forgot he was there.
#wcbf 𝜗𝜚⋆₊˚#serejae#bnd x reader#boynextdoor x reader#bnd#bnd fluff#bnd imagines#boynextdoor#spotify#boynextdoor imagines#boynextdoor angst#boynextdoor smau#boynextdoor reactions#bnd jaehyun#bnd reactions#bnd smau#bnd angst#bonedo#myung jaehyun x you#myung jaehyun x reader#myung jaehyun#kpop fake texts#kpop x reader#kpop imagines#kpop texts
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I started playing Wind Waker! Y'all want some thoughts?
-Why is the first thing I learned how to do with Link crawling on the ground like a sneaky sneak?
-Why is the SECOND thing I figured out how to do Link sidling along a wall like a sneaky sneak?
This kid is a sneaky sneak sneak!!!!
-Why is Link instantly jumping on people's tables? Get down please sir
-Wind and his family are so sweet I love them so much- and Aryll got kidnapped noooo TT
-Tetra has shot Link from a catapult
**I'm just gonna keep editing this post and adding random thoughts as I go does that sound cool? I wanna do that @hero-of-the-wolf
-Tetra's winking at Link has my heart forever she's so cute I swear
-love the glowy blue talking rock btw yesss stalker pirate girl
-Link why do you yell so loud every time you jump this is a sneak mission I thought you'd be good at this
-the game grumps on YouTube saved my life tho bc im a coward and get way too nervous in places like the forsaken fortress and watching someone else swear through the area before I do it helps ok
-Wind is such a gremlin but he's actually so polite? Like he instantly bowed to the sword trainer and then to the guy on windfall island after paying for breaking his pots- before running out of the house at breakneck speed. He's such a sweet and polite boy you can tell he's grandmas kid- yet he's such a menace what a wild yet polite lad ridndkkfkdg
-the people of windfall island are way too judgy stop being condescending to Link he's my baby. 'The Tipsters' girls have my heart tho because they.. they... well they give you tips. Tip you off you could say
-I think the King of Red Lions just legally adopted Link
Ok so small rant section but this game is so tragic. Like the art style is so goofy and fun but it hits you so hard that these are KIDS. Link is freaking twelve and his sister was kidnapped on his birthday, leaving him to follow in hot clothes because of higher defence I'm guessing (new hero clothes are more suitable for an adventure than casual loose ones but still!). But he's literally like half the height of DOORKNOBS- he has to stand on his tiptoes anytime to open doors. He is so very small.
My mom was like 'I love this animation style - does it help with your nerves that it's lighter?' And I was like 'honestly it makes me feel more deeply the tragedy of what should be a happy childhood being torn apart' but she's used to me saying weird shit like that so it's fine
-I think we as a fandom are severely underestimating how much of a gremlin Wind waker link can be and that's saying a LOT
-I got the Wind Waker!
-WHY IS IT SO HARD TO CONTROL DONT YOU LECTURE ME ON RHYTHM IM LITERALLY A MUSICIAN WHAT THE HECK
-K learned the Wind Waker
-Ok I like got to dragon roost island on the first day and FINALLY got an empty bottle my beautiful baby where were you??
-I cleaned- like actually fully dusted and cleaned- my wii u for the first time after it was inactive for years and holy mother of improved game pad controls
-is it wierd that I'm more excited about the empty bottle than the wind waker?
. . . .
-ya know in hindsight gabon looked pretty shady. I mean he was standing in the shade but what kind of asshole stands there and tells a giant bird to throw a child in the ocean
-I think ganodonk is dumb I can't wait to get the sword and bitch slap him
-'we cANt set SaiL aGain Until you geT a GLowY thiNgy' well mr boat man sir have you considered that I realised there was most definitely a heart piece or two I forgot on windfall island and I'm doing another dungeon with three hearts? At least I got a bottle ig
-why am I trading with rats for potions this doesn't seem hygienic. I know rats are in fact very clean animals but this dungeons isn't and why do the rats want rupees anyways?
-WAIT WHY CAN LINK TALK TO RATS
-so there's this like steamy glowy pot that teleports me to the start/end of the dungeon? I'm questioning all existence in this world why is that a thing. Honestly think Twilight princess's bald teleportation chicken made more sense but whatever
. . . .
-I saved the dragon! By riding on his tail? What a boss fight that was fun. Got a shiny thingy Yayy
-So the wind waker! I learned to change the direction of the wind which is so cool and also to change whether it's night or day. Which is wayyy too much power for this kid how come no one told me he could change night and day?
-That said I love how musical Link is. Like when he looks so happy waving the baton playing to the wind it's just really cool
- Why is the God of Wind a like. Toad surfer dude. Whatever, I like him.
-So apperently there's these little dudes called fish-men who are talking fish who fill out your sea chart- I am still questioning why link can talk to animals but that's fine
-I missed out on pawprint isle before apparently, so I'm gonna do that before whatever the red lion king tells me next
-Also I love Beedle in this game so far he hasn't threatened me like the other beedles in games I've played
. . . .
-I GOT MY SECOND EMPTY BOTTLE
-Sailing through the ocean is really fun
-I went back to windfall and got a 'swift sail' that lets me go faster but I still like the blue one better
-I reached the great deku tree! He had monsters for pimples and I couldn't figure out how to get them off 'what are you doing?!?! go help him!!' IM TRYING ADOPTIVE BOAT FATHER. Turns out I needed to roll into him and not use the grappling hook which makes sense but still
-He. Grew me a leaf. A magic blowy leaf. Which is great it's an awesome gift and means a lot but the Deku tree grunted and grew a leaf for me and that's kinda wierd right?
-Reaching said leaf was a PAIN and I am very impressed with Wind Waker Link.
Hang on rant session. Bro's tiny little grandmas boy but flipping through the air to reach an unspeakably high up leaf is chill. He flipped through leafy child cannons a billion times to reach the Deku leaf and didn't get dizzy or give up even after falling. And that's saying nothing of how he picked up a sword for the first time and swings his way through EVERYTHING thrown at him. Gosh he's so cool I love this Link
-I HAVE MAGIC NOW!!!!! With like a little meter and stuff tidkkfdjfnkdjfkd I'm very excited that I have magic
-Reaching this high shelf with my path forward was a pain but I have to save and quit rn so if it puts me back at the start of this room I will be. Upset.
-It put me back at the start of the room.
-I ordered a game guide! I'm gonna try and play through with it- this'll be my first time using one. But I haven't updated for a few days bc I'm waiting on it :)
This whole post is a bunch of random thoughts jumping around which my adhd self appreciates- that said I really love that we can grab an enemies weapon and use it against them. Increases my respect for ww Link even more- when he had no weapon in the forsaken fortress he grabs a literal wooden stick from an enemy and kills it with. A big twig. Kid's brutal and does what it takes which is so crazy. Also using an enemies sword is great hehe shiny
. . . .
-Got game guide. Yayyyy
-The forbidden woods are scary but they remind me a lot of the forest temple in twilight princess. A lot. The mechanics are also very similar. I love Zelda games
-Maybe it's because the only time I've had free to play rn has been at night, but I find myself constantly thinking this game is creepy. It's so unsettling for a cartoon style- the boko babas freaking eat link! And chew on him like no!! Fisnfjskfkfk *shudder* aaaanyways I am NOT looking forward to redeads in this game but that's a later problem right?
-I figured out how to get the treasure chests from the sea!! And got a piece of heart :DDD
-Ok game guides are really helpful
-Apparently the 'warp pots' are a consistent thing- I guess that's just how Link teleports in dungeons in this game. The second pot is generally hidden a bit but then you can teleport to the beginning of the dungeon and back- then the third pot is near the end... I think. This is only my second dungeon in this game with the pots but it's going great! I'm learning a lot hehe
-I love the grappling hook so much. I can farm spoils/materials from monsters with it before I kill them and I love that. Also it makes me feel cool swinging it.
-WDYM I CAN GET FREE BLUE POTIONS FROM A KOROK USING EASILY ATTAINABLE (with the grappling hook) MATERIALS FROM BOKO BABAS THIS IS JOY THIS IS LOVE IT GIVES ME HEALTH A N D MAGIC FJDKFJFK
-Also the title screen theme and animation play around outset is very satisfying. Watched it replay three times tonight before starting the game. Time well spent.
-I appreciate the items so much. The Deku Leaf is great like I can F L Y with magic and also blow wind at enemies and make them look silly <3
-The look of Link's spoils bag has grown on me and I love it. Purple.
. . . .
-I got the boomerang!!! Oh my gosh it's so cool I love it.
-I've been trying out the switch mechanic for targeting rather than hold. It's going interestingly bc I've only ever held for targeting before. But I think I like it
-The evil flower ate Makar- the Korok I'm TRYING to save GIVE HIM BACK
-That was the prettiest boss fight ever. I couldn't even be intimidated, I don't think I've ever been more relaxed during a boss fight lol. They should make all of them purple and blue sparkly- it was legitimately beautiful.
-I finished the forbidden forest dungeon!! :DD yayyy
-Link's hopping up and down in celebration after the boss fight was so cute he's so happy!!
-Have I mentioned I'm excited about the boomerang
-Makar is so cute?!?! I love him with his little violin and- the Koroks oh my heart that was the cutest ceremony ever
. . . .
-Ok so I went around the great sea, for now avoiding the big octos I am uhh terrified interested to meet, went to a place that got 'corrupted by gannorks power' so now I'm following the pirates back to windfall island
-The pirates are stealing bombs and I think this is illegal.
-My girl Tetra's here!! :D also doing illegal stuff! And Link is just watching them rob the bomb shop lol these cutscenes are the best sometimes also I love the pirate banter
-Tetras little smile and wink when she saw Link was so cute I love her. Also the little hints that she was concerned about his island and not just treasure?? Sweet
-I stole the bombs that the pirates stole from the pirates. And getting there was a PAIN with swinging on the ropes the tiny pirate (Niko) made Link do
-TETRA is a STALKER she was watching Link through the glowy rock thingy- probably cause he was just sneaking around watching her rob a shop but still that thing scares me sometimes when her voice just comes screaming out of it
-Btw why do the pirates want the god pearl thingy anyways? Just cause it's really shiny orrr
-ok we're headed to outset! I'm so excited to get back to Link's home hehe. Also I think Tetra just dared Link to a race bc she was like 'we'll get there first we still have bombs' so yeah anyways she's spending the night here tho so I'm sure it'll be fine.
-I don't like the great sea as much when it's raining and thunderstorming all over :/ I hope it doesn't stay like this? Because that would suck
-I got sucked into a cyclone and was panicking cause it threw me across the great sea BUT then it threw me onto outset!! :D so that was uhh. Handy I guess.
-Ohhh ok so like. time is frozen from ganad's current curse, which means it's gonna stay night for right now, so tetra won't be coming in time to get the treasure from the god dude first. Nice.
-The Lion King just kindly told Link to visit his family and chill for a second and check on his island?? Sobbing yes thank you sir
-Grandma's sick oh no this is the saddest thing I've ever seen ima cry. I healed her with a fairy but she was so sad link and aryll were gone im- and then grandma blamed herself for not being there for them like no it's literally cold and rainy all the time it's frozen right now you have every right to get sick- and then she made Link soup and she'll remake it for him which is great and I LOVE LINKS GRANDMA SO MUCH it was so sad she was sick I'm glad I could heal her :))
-Link smiled and nodded so enthusiastically when Grandma told him to stay out of trouble/stay safe like Link you are a liar I just watched you steal from pirates
-I sparred with Orca and I like him. It's cool how he trains Link on his home Island with like formal training because Link definitely needs it with what he's facing
-Controlled a seagull for the first time. That was fun they can fly for such a long time like. Forever?? Idk I eventually stopped
. . . .
-Ok so I talked wait no. The king of red lions talked with this guy who's a god named Jabun (I think that's how it's spelled I'll check) and he gave us a THIRD glowy thingy. I'll give more thoughts on that conversation later I gotta look up the translation. The sea is back to being sunny :))
-I spent a bit just sailing around. I need to place the shiny pearl thingies from the gods in special places marked on the map to 'reveal the place where my courage will be tested' or whatever
-I have found several great fairies and gotten my rupees and wallets upgraded twice. I like the fairies in this game.
-I FOUGHT A BIG OCTO I'M SO PROUD
-it was scary.
-But my magic meter has been doubled!!! :D *slaps wind waker link* this bad boy can fit so much magic and blessings inside of him
-I've placed two of the fancy shiny orbs. Its wierd... I put them in old looking statues and they glow. That's fine I guess.
-the fishmen are my best friends. Kind of. Every square on the map I go to one is there and they'll give me lil hints and tips while they fill out my map. Nice guys.
-beedle sent me a beedle chart! :D which. Is a map of where his shop appears so handy!
-there's these maps called 'treasure charts' everywhere that mark places in the sea with rings of glowing light that I can bring up treasure from. Generally a purple rupee but a lot of times other things :)
-there's this one square with beedles shop ship that has an empty bottle and heart piece and treasure chart for sale 00 I got the empty bottle immediately ofc (now I have three!!) and saved up the money and got the rest :) it was all like. Five to nine hundred rupees each yeesh
-Link sure does rely on maps and charts a lot in this game
. . . .
-THE GODS JUST FURKIN YEETED LINK ACROSS THE BIG BLUE OCEAN WHAT THE SHELL WAS THAT
?!?!?!?!
Ok (storytime) so I was placing the last pearl of the gods that I've been collecting in the ancient statue and a cutscene starts right?
So Link places Farore's pearl and the ancient statue starts glowing. and Link kinda startles and runs away, but then he comes back and the statue EXPLODES with light and Link goes FLYING like Farore just bitch slapped Link with power across the ocean WHY?!?!
And so you have this big dramatic cutscene where the ancient statues become really pretty and form a map of the triforce on the ocean and a big freaking TOWER comes rising out of the water and it's really cool- and then at the end Link SPLATS INTO THE FREAKING TOWER AFTER BEING SENT FLYING INTO IT LIKE GIVE THE KID A BREAK ALREADY
Of all the things I was expecting in wind waker, a cutscene of Link being sent hurtling across the world to slam face first into the literal 'tower of the gods' was not it. like forget a concussion how is Link ALIVE?!?!
-k so anyways. I'm good. Wasn't expecting that. This 'tower of the gods' is the place the King of red lions keeps telling Link he'll be tested/have to prove himself to the gods as a hero or something
-Oooo this dungeon seems cool so far! Riding in, it's just risen out of the ocean, so I'm entering the dungeon on my boat dad
-so it's like we can do it together! Not really, but King Red is how I get around the first bit at least. It's crazy how Link doesn't have a companion for in dungeons. Boat dude has just been dropping Link off at dungeons like a kid at school.
-So the tides come in and out of this dungeon. The floor will be filled with water when it's up and I'm only able to walk when tide is low and the waters gone. This is dangerous because Link, although he can survive being yeeted across the sea, can in fact drown.
-also I've just realised I haven't died so far in this game yet!! Go me :D
#wind waker post#personal#loz#zelda#Loz ww#wind waker#this'll be fun :D#an archival effort I guess#:))
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choromatsu handwriting post
compiled all of choromatsus handwriting that i could find bc i love him
i realize these were all made by different teams and have different sources (anime/games/webkuji/etc) but there are some similarities between them all and i think its cute. i'll try to make it easier for ppl that cannot read japanese too
(note: some of these may or may not be valid criticisms, im not a native japanese speaker but i got my bachelors in japanese. idk if this means anything to anyone im just pointing out things that im noticing and maybe it will be interesting to you. if you notice anything else interesting feel free to add)
commonalities i noticed:
sometimes will combine multiple character strokes into one (normal thing to do, i've seen some native speakers do this)
with a few exceptions (mt takao for some reason), generally neat handwriting. proper and easy to read. not too big, not too small, not over stylized, but not messy either. very choromatsu
letter in s1e24
very nice handwriting, legible and neat. this is closest to how i think i would picture his handwriting. i know that the staff across different ososan things probably don't care too deeply about keeping minute handwriting details consistent and that's why they're all gonna look different but i like this one best for him.
new years cards in s2e13
very cute, love the stupid drawing of himself. everything very nice and tidy. to me these characters look a much curlier and rounder than the ones in the letter.
for both the letter and the new years cards it looks like he was careful to properly write out all the strokes of the kanji, even for more complicated ones like 緊張 and 就職. we see in mt takao that his handwriting gets a LOT messier. i know the real reason is because it was probably different animators that did his handwriting, but i'm choosing to believe that in canon it's because both of these are more fancy/formal letters addressed to people, whereas the trip guide is just for him and his brothers and doesn't necessarily need to look nice.
also i adore his tendency to add little drawings to things, like this and the mt takao guide he's everything
trip guide from mt. takao s3e8. his handwriting here, for some reason, is exceptionally bad especially compared to everything else. he writes like a little kid and i love his shitty little drawings. he's so cute.
my teachers would always correct my kanji down to the tiniest strokes, if i wrote like this is class i would get scolded so bad. you can see him combining his strokes together for 記念撮影, this will continue for the other pictures too. cute detail imo
the 昼 in 昼食 is definitely written wrong, but the second kanji 食 might be a little nitpicky. technically that bottom part is three different strokes, not two crossed over each other
more of him combining the strokes together. i wouldn't necessarily say that's wrong, since i've seen people do that before; it's probably just a habit that happens over time. i do it in english too
HOWEVER, he did write the 日 radical in 撮影 wrong here. previously, i thought he was just combining strokes again so that it looked like three lines instead of two (note 3 and 4 are two parallel lines, he just didn't lift his pen up)
but when you look at this it's clear that he very much did write three lines this time. that's the wrong radical
anyway
another example of him writing a two stroke character with just one. again, this is fine, ive seen people write their characters like this. however it looks bad when he does it here
i love how he wrote "campfire" i love how for some reason he didn't keep the letter sizing consistent or straight. also his little campfire drawing
19時
キャンプ
ファイヤー
also there's two ways to write そ, its just a matter of choice its not important but he writes it the second way. and he messed up a kanji again
these next ones are maybe less canon cause they're not from the show itself
Airport Matsu
very tidy, combines a couple strokes together. both 松 (matsu) characters look like he combines the last two strokes together instead of writing them as two separate ones
and he does a similar thing with the right half of 野 in Matsuno
nostalgic moments webkuji
this one he writes every stroke and doesn't combine them and that's probably because different people worked on these and the tiny details like this don't matter to anyone but me. or you could say that he wrote a little neater in high school and started simplifying things as he got older.
Rock School
he drew himself again lol
i think his handwriting looks very good here actually. idk how to describe it but i like when handwriting looks like this specific way in japanese. i've seen other people that have handwriting like this and it just looks so nice. like the characters seem to vary in size, but somehow it makes it a little easier to read imo?
like in the first bullet point (underlined in yellow), the す in 多すぎる is a little big, but like it looks nice. in the second bullet point (blue), the の in 世の中 is slightly smaller but it emphasizes the kanji on either side of it. the stroke on the side of the か characters are written a little longer than usual (red). like it just looks nice, everything is shaped really nice and whenever i see people that have this handwriting i always try to emulate it lol
Neetpro
this one is a bit messier than the others. the way he wrote チョロ just doesn't look as nice as the way he wrote it in airport matsu and nostalgic moments. the way the て is written is more curved compared to the others. also the 界 kanji (blue) is written in a way that looks weird to me, and kara from this same set also writes the kanji that way so i think the same person might have written all of them lol
also interesting is that he writes き differently in this one
i was told by one of my professors that you're supposed to write さ and き with the upper and lower parts disconnected when writing by hand. it's only in text that they're connected. but i've still seen some people write them in the connected way
in all the other examples, choromatsu doesn't write them connected like that, just this one.
sukiya app
my lovely boy and his nonsense words and lies. the handwriting here comes off as very cutesy to me, at least compared to the others. some of the ways he writes, especially any box-like shape, seems round in a way. he also connects the right half of 野 again.
overall writes very neatly, altho a lot of the kanji here seems like its very big on the top and smaller on the bottom, and a lot of the letters seem more rounded. all the other examples just feel like the writing is a bit more angular, with the exception of the new years cards.
extra: coloring book
the way he wrote his name here is messier than the other examples. i like that he added little commentary on his own coloring though ("looks good!" "the tail was black too i believe") maybe he colored this with a paintbrush????? the strokes look as if he was trying to write quickly with a brush as if it was a pen. so maybe that's why its a little messier
anyway thanks for reading. i love choromatsu
#i think maybe such small details don't matter maybe nobody else will care lmao#but if youve got matsu brainworms bad enough maybe youll like this#im gonna just combine these to make my own little headcanons about how he writes#choromatsu#choromatsu matsuno#osomatsu san#mr osomatsu#ososan
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im listening to mag again and damn do the archival crew HATE jon. listen i get it supposedly your lives would be normal if he hadn't brought you here... but he didn't? (minus og archive crew, jon requesting them and all) if anything he was just kinda there when you made decisions, bro wasn't EVEN THERE when melanie got hired like??? like how r u gonna wish him pain rn, he's ltrly sopping wet and on the verge of dying💀
like another anon I got a month or so ago, this is one of my sleeper agent trigger phrases, so this might be another marina monologue moment.
as I'm also in the middle of a (for my standards) incredibly slow relisten, I've been thinking about this topic, too, but I've been coming at it from a slightly different angle than I normally do. in tim's case, we don't get an actual look at the circumstances under which he transferred to the archives, it is theoretically possible that jon laid it on a bit thick in asking him to come with him to the department and tim wouldn't have even thought of it otherwise, but with melanie we have several scenes of her hiring and onboarding where jon is not present and she continually rebuffs people who tell her she's making a mistake, so the text very clearly sets up that her blaming jon for being trapped there doesn't make sense. and, even with tim having been requested by jon, he still had to make the ultimate decision to switch departments himself, so, yknow, what gives?
most people, I think, and myself in the past, have come at this question from a very jon-centric pov because he's the main character and it's a jon-centric show, but I think putting it down to "they lash out at him because he happens to be there and stops defending himself after a while" misses something, as does "they lash out at him because elias sets everyone up to think they have an adversarial relationship to jon." more than that, I think it's about the rejection of agency.
tma is a show that's very much About agency and choices, so it's important to keep track of where characters suddenly balk and try to offload their choices onto other agents. martin, despite being very proactive and efficient when he sets his mind to it, has a consistent habit of thinking of himself as fundamentally unimportant and unable to affect real change. jon, someone who is usually culpability_acceptor_4000, really tries to convince himself that the web made him pull statements out of strangers. and melanie and tim, on realizing that they've gotten themselves stuck in the archives, have similar reactions of trying to retroactively make those decisions jon's.
they hate being stuck there and they can't bear the idea that it might be their fault, and they don't know how to reconcile the choices they did make with the greater forces outside of their control that shape their lives. tim swings right from seeing jon as fully responsible to seeing everything as the result of cosmically inevitable bad luck, and this hits him so hard that it leads directly to his suicide. post-bullet melanie gets a better handle on it; accepting that she chose to fall further into the slaughter opens her up to accepting that she made other choices, like joining the archives, as well as accepting future choices, like quitting the archives.
and yes, in the moments where tim and melanie are most vulnerable and just starting to realize how deeply screwed they are, jon (at least from their pov) does something to make it worse. when jon tells tim that jane presntiss wasn't his fault, tim says "well you sure made me feel worse afterwards! and then everyone had to pay attention to how you were feeling to get you to stop stalking us!" when melanie goes in for a second assassination attempt on elias, elias makes jon talk her down instead of doing it himself, presumably to try and get the slaughter mark done with. neither of these are the inciting incidents for tim and melanie's situations, but they stand out. and because jon is culpability_acceptor_4000, a man who feels like the weight of the whole world is on his shoulders and is even right some of the time, the accusations stick. tim and melanie don't want anything to be their fault, jon thinks everything is his fault, and it's a bit of a vicious self-fulfilling cycle.
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so we were talking recently about how solas is much better at keeping his secrets than the other characters, and we know bull is one of the most perceptive characters. you've travelled with bull & solas much more than i have, so im curious about your thoughts: do you think bull had any idea? he's able to weed out qunari agents, but do you think he noticed solas'? how do you think bull feels about it, post-trespasser?
rubs my little hands together ty for this, im gonna have funnnn
bull 100% knew something was up. these two bits of banter really seal it for me:
Iron Bull: You've got an odd style, Solas. Your spells are a bit different from the Circle mages or the Vints.
Solas: That comes from being self-taught.
Solas: I discovered most magic on my own, or learned it from my journeys in the Fade.
Iron Bull: I've seen self-taught warriors. Even the good ones have something awkward in their style, something that clunks.
Iron Bull: I don't get that from you. Maybe magic is different.
Solas: Or without magical training, you cannot notice the parts of my magic that "clunk".
Iron Bull: You're not as flashy as most mages, Solas.
Iron Bull: The Tevinter mages I fought in Seheron tried to scare us with what they could do.
Iron Bull: Dorian looks like he's waiting for applause after every spell.
Iron Bull: Vivienne has this little swagger, like she knows she's the most dangerous thing in the room.
Iron Bull: Not the quiet elven mage, though. No frills. Nothing to give you away. Half our targets never even see you coming.
Solas: I shall take that as a compliment.
Iron Bull: If you like.
first, bull does know magic - he gives solas an out, "maybe magic is different," but I think it's just that: an out. one of his first comments is about how cullen is putting his templar training to good use, helping the inquisition soldiers defend against magic, just like bull himself was taught to. he's fought countless mages. solas is dissembling and bull lets him, but I don't buy for a second that he's genuinely fooled
and then the flashy comment. "not the quiet elven mage." bull is so observant... arguably moreso than solas:
Solas: Hmm.
Iron Bull: Something wrong?
Solas: A man in the last village. Something in his manner troubles me.
Iron Bull: The baker with the squint and the red nose? Yeah, spy. Probably Venatori.
Solas: Why do you say that?
Iron Bull: He watched all of us. A normal guy would focus on you, because staff, or me, because horns.
Iron Bull: He had a dagger up his sleeve, which no baker needs, and the knot on his apron was tied Tevinter style.
Iron Bull: I sent a message to Red. She'll investigate.
Solas: You are more observant than you appear.
Iron Bull: The good spies usually are.
so a) he notices everything weird about solas, everything that doesn't match up, and b) he doesn't show what he knows. that's his training coming into play.
I don't think he really knew who or what solas was, though. my suspicion is that he knew solas had his own agenda from the beginning, and like most everyone, knew that solas was keeping his own past a big, deeply-guarded secret. but bull isn't the type to ask direct questions in order to learn, so I think that when he's talking to solas about these things, he's watching him, too. noting the subtle shifts that solas tries to hide or isn't even aware of. hell, bull would learn something from solas having no change of expression or tone, forcibly even and level - because at that point, it's artificial.
so i think throughout the game as they travel, bull is slowly but steadily realizing how much more there is to solas' story. at the same time, he knows that no one is quite as good at keeping secrets as he is, so he wouldn't want to... ask anything too direct, yknow? everything is dancing around the edges of the truth and seeing what comes up, and that is information, usually information the other person didn't mean to give away
varric does this too imo, but not to the extent or with the skill that bull does, nor with the ability to hide everything he knows so, so well.
overall, i think bull was always watching solas. bull's really thrown in with the inquisition, particularly if he becomes tal-vashoth - because at that point, he doesn't really have anywhere to return to (which is tragic). so outside of the advisors and the inquisitor, i think bull is actually one of the inquisition's most steadfast members. but throughout the game, solas does help. a lot. which bull sees, too. hell, solas helps him after he becomes tal-vashoth, it's a really fun banter arc.
bull is suspicious, wary, and watchful, but throughout the main game, solas hasn't done anything overtly hostile or counter to the inquisition's purpose. and ultimately, solas is sorta necessary - he's the only one who can help the inquisitor with the anchor.
as for solas' agents? i'm not sure... but i'm also not sure how many of them there are. if there were a fair number, i think bull would have picked up on it over time, particularly because he tends to hit on the servants more - like, he'd notice them as individuals if for no other reason than his own interest, but also his training comes into play here. but if there were only a few? i think they could've slipped under his radar, particularly because the inquisition grows so quickly that even bull would end up hard-pressed to stay familiar with every single face in the inquisition.
even wrt the qunari agents, it's because he noticed a change in the duty roster and followed up on that, not because he saw them and just Knew from their behavior. he might've been able to suss them out that way had they crossed paths, but crossing paths wasn't guaranteed - at least, not until they tried to kill him. and frankly, i don't think solas would be that sloppy. his agents probably are deeply embedded in the inquisition because so is he. he would know when to have them come in and how they could blend in, even become functioning members of the inquisition, particularly because the inquisition's goals are not directly counter to solas' goals.
post-trespasser? i've written this and in my fic, bull really wasn't surprised at all. i think he would've been if solas got outed as fen'harel/the dread wolf mid-game, but the events of trespasser shed so much light on the reality of the situation, and i don't think bull would've traveled that whole path and not begun to reach that conclusion. solas disappeared for two years ago after fighting corypheus, and now they're mysteriously drawn into an eluvian - elven magic - and pulled through an intricate web of information that exposes the qunari plot?
yeah, i think bull had an inkling solas was behind it at or near the start of their journey through the eluvians.
and there's more, like solas' constant, intense hatred of the qun stripping people of choice - but then, there's a bit of truth in people hating others the most for things they hate about themselves. and bull would know about that, of course. solas does the same thing to blackwall when he's revealed as thom, an ironic judgement considering his own lies, but he hates that he has to lie.
i think for bull, post-trespasser he'd feel... not happy about the situation of course, but sort of satisfied. the pieces finally fell into place, all of them.
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